#hi. im never rendering again
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I miss this guy so much it's unreal
#caleb widogast#critical role#cr#cr2#my art#hi. im never rendering again#been picking away at this for months and i cant even produce a background orz oh well#spiritual redraw of that one caleb i drew last year. januari is for wizards#anyway im at. ep 65 op campaign 1 which means im only 40 episodes away from a campaign 2 relisten. yay <3
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deku for sun and moon zine
#bnha#izuku midoriya#bakugou katsuki#hes the moon and kacchan is his sun get it#anyways im never rendering shit like this again :)#bkdk#my art
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Ничего не останется от нас, Нам останемся, в лучшем случае, мы
hi. hello. listen to this song
i have so many thoughts about these two. oh my god. maybe i will write it out some day, but for now drawing it out will do
translation will be under the cut! knowing the words does add to the work so i do recommend reading it. or just enjoy the art <3
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heres the translation, color coded according to how i broke it up for the art. just in casies
first page:
Love is scarier than war
Love strikes more true than steel
second page:
More true, because of your own volition
third page:
You run towards all the winds
Let there be pain and eternal battle
Not atmospheric, not earthly
fourth page:
But definitely with you
caption:
There will be nothing left of us,
we will be left with, in the best case, ourselves
#kunst huli#legend of zelda#botw link#botw zelda#botw zelink#tloz#zelink#totk#botw#i cannot express how proud i am that i actually managed not only to finish this#BUT. to have it look GOOD#painting stuff n making it messy in an appealing way has always been a fucking STRUGGLE for me#n i do think u can see my over-rendering tendencies rear their head up on the last one#and also i guess i should have made the last two pages connect like i did with the rest of them but i think it still works. thematically#the last one is like. the end. a break. the start of a much needed retirement#a breather u might say!#i also think the devs should have let link hug her at the end#he deserves it he thought hed never see her like this again#oh alsooooo since im on a tangent anyway#like many people i was disappointed by the cop-out of just giving link his arm back at the end of totk#and i still think it would be cool if he didnt#(or if he kept the magic hand. just imagine how thatll help with all the restoration work dlkfgjdfkgjdfkg)#BUT anyway. i thought about it. n i have a theory about what tf did they do at the end to get not only zelda but his arm back#the fucking time powers!!! what if they just reversed time on them...........#much to thunk about. anyway#hope u enjoy <3#now i can go finish phantom hourglass#god i hate having to go back to the temple of the ocean king tho. its like dishonored but u cant go up OR knock those guys out
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golden boy w a dark world on his shoulders.... CANNOT believe the inquisitor, my 40 year old son, is making a reappearance
#dragon age#lavellan#inquisitor lavellan#male lavellan#dragon age fan art#who cares about vallaslin i tried (halfheartedly)#my art#finian lavellan#every time im like i should draw a dragon age character... i draw my inquisitor again#da fanart#im actually very excited for the cc just so i can give him good hair. FINALLY. hes had his hair braided back for 10 years#time to let those curls loose!#i imagine curly hair is the most difficult to render/animate which is why they never have it lol
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You’re a cage without me
#shigaraki tomura#shimura tenko#afo#all for one#(his eyes r there. lol)#bnha#mha#IM NEVER RENDERING AGAIN I HATE THIS 😭#blood#tw blood
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HAPPY BIRTHDAY LIGHTER !!! ‼️🔥🔥🔥🫶
#bro i never want to render lighter ever again😭😭#i say this but he’s all i ever draw.. when have i ever finished drawings for selfships😭#too far gone w this guy im dead🙏#he literally speedran his way to my heart#to the kindest and coolest dude around !!!#to the absolute loser of a guy !!!#to the greatest companion !!!#to the champion and red scarf !!!#happy birthday lighter lorenz!! i love you!!!#meddly (zzz)#lighter lorenz#lighter zzz#zenless zone zero#zenlessoc#selfship#art#dazai’s canvas 🫧
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Pinup!!!!! the baby!!!! the guy!!!!
sorry if this looks kinda iffy the majority of this was drawn between 11pm and 2:30am so i was very tired loll
also yes that is a totoro bag i dont care if totoro doesnt exist in cyber city he has a totoro bag come at me
Pinup belongs to @turntableart
#read all the tags before you reblog otherwise you will be confused#i feel like i got the body type wrong uaughhh#i feel like the proportions are inaccurate#im blaming it on the clothes i promise the sketch looked good then the clothes went and ruined it#i feel really bad admitting this but now that i think about it i literally never draw chubby characters#all my addisons are pretty long and gangly for the most part and then spamton is just very small in my style hes not really pudgy#and tbh i didnt really draw full bodies very often before addisons and spamton but my one (1) oc was also pretty long and lanky#probably because i myself am pretty long and lanky#ueuugough hauguh#i need to practice more#also i feel like the shoes look weird#im generally not too happy with it but its ok ig#i was terrified of making the features too exaggerated and being offensive and i think i went to much the other way and just made him skinn#ffs#ill draw him again i promise#and it will look better pinky promise#🤙🤙🤙 theres no proper pinky emoji#i love him tho hes cute#i really like his original design#uururuguggg#ugh debating whether i should even post this or if i should keep tinkering with it#im gonna tinker with it a bit more i will continue writing tags when im done#ok tinkering over im much happier with it now#i made him a bit shorter and that solved all my problems#i think i have a habit of drawing characters too tall ngl lmao#also not too happy with the rendering but its good enough#uh im only posting the tinkered version that im happy with so if you want the untinkered version then just ask lol#pixel art#art#turn off the lights arg
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i finished the duel monsters dub for the first time ever last night (!!!) so i figured i oughta lock down my faces for the aibous... what a show, man
#yugi muto#yami yugi#atem#puzzleshipping#yugioh#ygo#ygo dm#duel monsters#my art#ive had atems face pretty set for literally years but ive never managed a yugi i was 100% happy with... this one is MUCH closer tho#i might render this later + experiment with some other hairstyles for them... i prefer drawing them with afrotextured hair#sketch#there are so many other yugioh artists who do such PHENOMENAL interpretations of ygo hairstyles in diff textures & styles!!!#i dont think ill be bringing anything new or revolutionary to the table hsdfghjkl. but i wanna play around w it!#i wanna experiment with‚‚‚ atem mullet‚‚‚ similar to how i did it in my yami jareth art. the super long jellyfish mullet is so cute on him#also!!! its so crazy to me to be done w the DM dub!!! ive loved yugioh for ages but had never managed to finish the show#but i decided some time last year/the year before that i was gonna try again in Earnest and!!! wow!!! call me matchbox 20#because how far weve come...#this is a big deal to me ive been into yugioh (as an adult) since like 2014ish so this has been a long time coming!!!#im gonna read the DM manga next and i think we are gonna do DSOD this week#then i guess jump right into GX!!! ive been cosplaying jaden for so long its gonna be crazy to watch his actual series...#i only know him from bonds beyond time hsdfghjkl. AND BBT ABRIDGED... MY AUTISM MOVIE...#anyway. yugioh. 🥺🥺🥺💖💖💖😭😭😭💕💕💕
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no halloween art this year sorry! hopefully sanada brothers vell song redraws and a new vd later will be enough...
+ an alternate version with the honey bc. b-bad honey hunt. don't worry about the silhouettes
#we got cowgirl eiji sanada before linagram finale. amazing#no but seigi no libra fits him so well it's so. head in hands#the lyrics describe his murder (and his views in general) so well especially near the end...#but it also can describe his relationship with kei bc as he said kei has always been weird#but he wasn't always abusive and only became like that after a particular event...#“what event” i look away and sigh and go “they don't know that kei had a friend who-” and a car hits me#also. im pretty sure bad honey hunt and seigi no libra characters are the same girl.#like the piercings the chess piece the hair color... yeah i think its the same girl#though maybe it's common knowledge. i haven't seen anyone point it outjdkdkks#i will never try to draw/render honey ever again. tf is this it looked like noodles before rendering AHAGHDHJAJSA#also im going to be honest. i do like song redraws but i don't like to make them exactly the same as original#i like to make them unique and different and more. me-core :)#and i like to add silly little details like again the silhouettes behind kei (don't worry about them)#and not counting the scale from the original mv there is also Something behind eiji. or someone#🗡️guard 001: sanada eiji 🗡️#🍓prisoner 005: sanada kei 🍓#also i still hate drawing hands.
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no wonder I hate this artwork set so much
#finished rendering finished background just drawing his glasses in now#already done part 1 and positioned for part 2.#then after effects and IM DONE AND NEVER TOUCHING IT AGAIN
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ive got such a nice idea for a rly character study type fic for qetoiles but i have no time or brain power to make it happen o7
#his ass is never getting corrupted by that code in canon which good . it means i can play with it in non canon#i just think . for a character who has so much control over himself and his wants and his integrity#it would be so interesting to take that Away from him . subject him to a complete lack of control he was so certain would never occur#take away the things that make him Him . render him mindless and just another Code . and then give it all back to him#and im coming at this from an angle that he’s completely possessed by the code and unable to remember what happened during it#how does a character like that Cope with all his agency taken away . how does he Cope not knowing what he did while he was ‘gone’#how can he ever be sure of himself again when something like this happened even when he thought it never would#jay rambles
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[oc] new room, new era✨
WELCOME TO THE TENEMENTS (again)! Back at it again with another post for “Welcome To Wolfshire” as well as a little concept tweak! I went back & revisited environment design & decided to redo Salem’s room from earlier this year. His room concept didn’t feel like “him” so I gave his room a little bit of remodeling! I do have plans to try & make the other greasers’ rooms & concept art for The Tenements! ✨
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[ design notes ]
▸ All the books on Salem’s ref are actual books! The first book is a little motif to my book mock-up for “Welcome To Wolfshire”. The other books in order are: ‘The Outsiders’ by S.E Hinton, ‘The Great Gatsby’ by F. Scott Fitzgerald & ‘The August Few: Amygdala’ by Sam Fennah
▸ Instead of inserting images as posters, I went over them as little renders to look as if they were naturally apart of the environment (Pulp took 5 attempts to get right💀). All posters: Johnny Cash, Elvis Presley, The Cramps, Pulp, Deftones & Rebel without a cause
▸ Salem canonically as a Polaroid picture of him & Harlem together as a couple. I took the chance to dig more into his lore & of course i had to involved his relationship with Harlem somewhere
“Can you guess all the stickers scattered around Salem’s room? 👀”
#small artist#trans artist#welcome to wolfshire#concept art#oc room#room design#THAT PULP POSTER TOOK FIVE ATTEMPTS TO LOOK DECENT#IM NEVER RENDERING WOOD AGAIN#why did I torture myself to paint everything#I painted the posters and dug my grave to paint some detail renders#I love the Polaroids#HES KISSING HIS BF#AND HE KEEPS IT BY HIS BEDSIDE#MY FAV DETAIL#RAHHH THEYRE MY BLORBOS#Salem is a deftones guy confirmed#if any of you can guess all the stickers y’all get a cookie
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yall oml, so im drawing for the first time in like 2 years bc i found out that my settings were fucked up and thats probably why i hated my life every time i tried to do anything in clip.
so i downloaded some workspaces and some brushes and yall??
ya boy's still got it!! admittedly the chara i was going for looks like chad from accounting, but i was going with the flow and not using a ref so that is fixable!! if i change the nose anywho
idk if im going to post the final or dust off my art blog bc i am allergic to finishing anything but man it is nice to find out my skills have only regressed like 20% instead of like all the way after so long!!!!
#still suck at hands tho that hasnt changed#or rendering hair all that much#i used to love ears and noses and it shows#look i know he doesnt have an ear rn but im getting to his weird ear plates okay? okay. theyll be there i prommy#thank yall for coming to my ted talk i hate the mortifying ordeal of being known so i will probs never post my art again#or at least not this year#this is not to guilt trip!! i just know myself#the moment its online is the moment i start quantifying how good it is by how many notes and i will always be let down by my own standards#if you do want art from me tho lemme know#i am trying to overcome the mortifying ordeal of being known but i am very bad at it so yeehaw#will not be tagging the chara bc this is a wip nor will i be trying to further its reach by doing any of the art tags#the tags are my diary and you all are here to read them bc i am the king of yappers
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THE FACT THAT I WAS ON THE CUSP OF WATCHING SALTBURN YESTERDAY THIS IS THE FINAL NAIL IN MY COFFIN THATS ALREADY BEING LOWERED INTO THE EARTH
me and @blveherb watched Saltburn
I will not elaborate further.
#biohazard#resident evil#luis serra#THE LIGHTING AND RENDERING ON THIS IS PHENOMENALLY GORGEOUS#HOW DO YOU COME BACK SWINGING ON THIS APP WITH THE MOST GOBSMACKING PIECES EVER KNOWN TO MAN. HOW DO YOU DO IT#THE COLORS IT FEEL SO REAL IF I WOULD ID SPLIT MYSELF UP INTO TINY PIECES AND IMBUE MYSELF INTO THE THREADS OF THS ART#I NEED THIS FRAMED I WANT IT INJECTED INTO MY BLOODSTREAM COURSING THROUGH MY VEINS CIRCULATING BACK AND FORTH IN MY HEART#I CANTS TOP LOOKIJG AT IT AGAIN AND AGAIN AND I CAN BARELY BREATHE I JUST. AUTOMATICALLY HOLD IT WHEN I SCROLL UP AND CATCH ANOTHER GLIMPSE#never recovering from this#fav#GEGUWUAUAGUHGOSASUIJOHSIAEZNOJJAKSADQWHIMOKUWEUAW#QQUUAUAUOAONNSNCNVNBMNKLM;JKHJGFJEAAJINNJNSIOBADSFJLBGPHIFHUGWJGHUIGFJEWPHPUBIJDPCHKBJEERETEHRYUI7K5JYRFSDVGWR#UKJMTYNHTGREFV#THE ATMOSPHERE I CANNOT BE NORMAL I CANNOT BE#THE SOFT GLOW HARSH RIM LIGHTING#THE TEXTURE LINES HIS HAIR#HOW YOU PAINTED THE GRASS#HIS EXPRESSION IS ASKING A QUESTION...... THE RELAXED YET VULNERABLE TILT OF HIS BODY#LUIS IS SO FAR AWAY YET SO CLOSE IM JJST ENRAPTURED#MY LUNGS ARE DOING THE THING THEY LITERALLY SEIZE UP WHEN I LOOK AT IT I PHYSICALLY CANT INHALE NORMALLY GOD#this is maybe the closest ill ever get to salvation as we know it#I DONT WANT TO SCARE YOU OFF NEYU BUT THIS ONE DOES THINGS TO ME AND I WANT TO FREEZE DRY THE FIRST TIME I SAW THIS IN ICE AND CLOSE MY EYE#THE IMAGE IN FLAMES IN MY MIND BURNING BRIGHT FOREVER#i need to tear my eyes away so i dont get lightheaded#if this is you not elaborating then please elaborate more at me i will pass out#it is now officially over for me#WEQUSIAHSUIAAIUOZPJIOVJOIPUTHRGBTRIGUHJGHUBFEHGPUFGIHJIOPFUGBFEJUGIHLJOWIREHUOGIHLVJQROIEWVGOIHJRWHEWVIUOBVJHIVUWOIJRUVWOIHRIRVEWUOEIIFJPAA
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Super shy !
genre: smut, baker au, college au, crack
Pairing: shy loser virgin bakery worker ! soobin x college customer ! reader
Warnings: sub soobin, dom reader, clubbing, alcohol, loss of virginity, riding, hand job, titty groping (can’t be a Soobin smut without him being obsessed with boobies be fr), premature ejaculation,
word count: 2.9k
As soon as you stepped into the newly established campus bakery, walking up to the counter and observing all the pastries, contemplating for a rather long time before you end up deciding on what you’d usually order anyway, Soobin couldn’t help feeling like his world got totally turned upside down. The sight of you rendering him completely speechless and unable to even think.
Time seemingly going by so slow like in the kdramas as your shiny hair majestically blows in the non existent wind inside, smile brightening up the entire bakery. He could practically see the roses blooming around your face like in the mangas. Was this love at first sight?!
Realistically, no.
But were you incredibly attractive to him and a breath of fresh air to the moody, stressed out college students that purchase a single coffee and stay for hours completing assignments with their backs concerningly hunched over? Hell yes.
And unfortunately for Soobin, he does not do well with pretty people. At all. Not realising you had even ordered, too in awe and preoccupied with taking in all your features until he’s snapped back to reality with the clearing of your throat and he can already feel his cheeks burning up horribly fast. Oh god. He really, really hopes it’s not evident right now.
“S-sorry…What did you say?” He begins apologising profusely to you, too embarrassed to even look you in the eyes, staring off more to the side. This was definitely not his best customer service.
With a chuckle, you brush it off and state your order again, “I said could I have the strawberry swirl cheesecake please?” If Soobin could look at himself in third person, he would so be face palming right now. Or better yet, maybe he could just go up and like, punch himself straight up or something for acting like such a loser.
“Ah right... That’s ₩7500. Cash or card?”
You pay with cash and Soobin, very nervously, fumbles around to garner the right amount of change to hand you, though doing it in the most awkward way possible and his palm makes direct contact with yours as he hands the money, making him blush even more and let out a small obvious gasp at the feeling of your soft hand. Oh my god. Why did he do that?! He really hopes you didn’t find that weird.
You only let out another chuckle, thanking him before you’re leaving the bakery in an elegant manner and Soobin is left to sigh and watch your back disappear. Damn it. He’ll probably never see you again. You were so pretty and so cute, too cute even-
“You’re such a virgin.”
His thoughts about you are abruptly dissipated by his coworker and unfortunately best friend, Choi Beomgyu who gives him the stupidest, most annoying grin he would definitely like to slap off his face right now.
“Just shut up.” Soobin grimaces and rolls his eyes at beomgyu, bringing a batch of freshly baked cookies out of the oven behind him and placing them into the display glass one by one.
"You’re pinker than the strawberry macarons we sell. That's saying something." Beomgyu raises an eyebrow at him with sass.
So does that mean you could see how flustered he was getting then? Oh no! Soobin clears his throat and narrows his eyes at beomgyu anyway. “Am not.”
“Are too! Anyway, all I’m saying is that interaction was painful to watch. You’re really giving pathetic, loser, virgin right now. I cant lie.” Beomgyu attempts to stifle in one of his obnoxious laughs.
Soobin is quick to snap back, "You've only ever slept with one person!"
"S-so!! At least im not a virgin!" Beomgyu’s cheeks also become the equivalent to the strawberry macarons as he scrambles to try and defend himself, brows furrowed and cheeks puffed.
“Well, the concept of a virgin is purely societal anyway. It doesn’t actually matter. It doesn’t mean anything really.” Soobin bitterly replies, continuing to work whilst his counterpart does completely nothing like most of the time. It's usually soobin that does work, remind him not to agree to beomyu's silly ideas of getting a job together ever again.
Beomgyu scoffs and snickers at this, "Whatever. You’re just saying all that to make yourself feel better because you’re a loser. LMAO"
"I’ll punch you right now."
"Then we'll both be fired~”
A poor customer still awaits at the counter to be served, standing in bewilderment and tiredness. Waiting for the two bakers to finish bickering and sighing as they don’t seem like they’re going to stop anytime soon.
Soobin doesn’t expect to see you again, in complete honesty, he’s almost forgotten you even exist after you never come again. But he’s in luck and more than pleasantly surprised when he hears the bell to the door go ding!, indicating a customer had walked in. He looks up from the cake he was decorating and in comes you looking cuter than the first time he saw you. He tries not to mess up the cake and he stands up straight almost instantly when he sees you, waiting for you to order and trying to remain calm.
You laugh and point at his cute nose when you come up to the counter. “You have like, icing all on your nose.”
“O-oh. I do?” He points at himself and you nod in reply. He feels himself going redder by the minute. He must look so stupid right now! And he urgently brings his sleeve up and tries to wipe the icing off his nose to not make himself look an even more of a complete fool in front of you .
“Ah wait no. Let me do it!” You lean over the counter as you see him struggling and wipe it off the top of his cute bunny like nose instead for him.
And that was the end of soobin. The end.
-
You become a regular at the bakery and soobin becomes a regular of embarrassing the absolute shit out of himself each time he sees you. He really doesn’t think he can top the previous comedic disaster that occurs when you enter, yet he always proves himself wrong, the awkwardness reaching new heights each time. From dropping trays of pastries, spilling drinks, nearly slipping in front of you, giving you a ₩50000 note when it was only ₩5000 change, the list goes on and on. He’s actually surprised he hasn’t lost his job yet.
And there’s also always a disappointed beomgyu shaking his head afterwards ready to make fun of him when Soobin promises to make a move but freezes every time you’re in sight, too much of a pussy.
“I’m calling an intervention.” Beomgyu declares and sighs after the nth time of soobin making absolutely no moves on you whatsoever, “Soobin, my man, my bro, you desperately need to get banged. It’s painful seeing the way you act. Your little crush is not gonna like you with the way you act. That’s it. We’re going clubbing tonight after this shift. No buts.”
“But-”
“I said no buts!”
“You know I hate clubbing.”
“You’ve never even been with me despite my constant pleads.” Beomgyu shakes his head and makes a dramatic pained face at his way.
“So? I know I’ll hate it.”
“You’re such a hater bro.”
“Yes I am. And I take pride in it. I’m a hater of everything.”
Beomgyu just sighs. He was utterly hopeless.
Unfortunately, there was no way Soobin could get out of this because beomgyu was having absolutely none of his protests and excuses and that’s how he ends up finding himself at the club anyway after his shift, sitting off to the side as he watches beomgyu disappear somewhere into the crowd. Soobin sighs as he downs his jack and coke. This was going to be a long fucking night.
-
In the dimly lit club, soobin’s discomfort was palpable, like a fish out of water and you noticed instantly upon arrival. It’s that cute tall baker boy who always serves you! You excitedly make your way and sit next to him, he looked a little lonely. “Hey! You work at that bakery on campus. I go there!”
Soobin’s eyes nearly fall out of his sockets at the sight of you sitting next to him and he nearly chokes on his drink as he splutters on his straw and nods. Act calm, act calm, act calm, act calm. Act cool and mysterious.
It’s you! You’re speaking to him?!
“So…these things not really your scene, huh?”
“Gee. How did you ever notice?” Soobin attempts to smile and joke with dry humour but it executes a little more awkward and nervous than how he would have liked.
You also try to carry on the conversation since this is the first time you’ve got to ever actually talk to the cute boy before. “I’m very intuitive. I can just sense things like that.”
He laughs at that too, feeling a bit more comfortable around you now. “No but yeah, I’d much rather be at home right now sleeping. Can’t say I’m much of an advocate for getting stupidly drunk with sweaty people you don’t even know with terrible rave music and flashing lights that should have an epilepsy warning”
“I get it.” You chuckle at how passionate he gets talking about how much he hates clubbing, frown on his cute face. “So why are you here then?”
“Friend wanted me to. Said I needed to finally get laid or whatever.” Soobin rolls his eyes and sips on his drink again, motioning his head to the direction of beomgyu on the dance floor, clearly drunk off his ass now.
“Oh, you’re a Virgin?”
Soobin’s ears go red when he realises what he said to you. “O-oh um y-yeah I guess…”
“Are you waiting for like marriage or the right person or something?” You question, genuinely surprised. He was tall and very attractive and it was rare for college boys to not hook up every single night these days.
“God no. Just never happened. I don’t really care for things like that. It’s probably overhyped anyway and doesn’t even feel that good. Like porn is highly unrealistic anyway.”
“You think so?” You chuckle at him and he nods, continuing to cutely sip on his drink with his straw. “Well maybe you should to try it out first and see for yourself.” Your words start to become a little flirty as you grow more confident talking with him and also because of the alcohol making you slightly tipsy now. “Sorry, but do you want to get out of here?”
“Yes please.” Soobin’s eyes widen even more at your suggestion and he’s more than happy to get out of here with you especially.
“Umm your friend is a bit….out of it right now.” You watch beomgyu drunk from afar, whipping his long hair back and forth claiming to everyone around he’ll be able to do it fast enough to lift off his feet and fly like a helicopter.
“He’ll be…he’ll be fine I’m sure”
Soobin has no idea what good stuff he must have done in his past life to get to this moment right now, in your room, making out with you, in your bed. Did he mention making out? With you?! The customer he’s been crushing on for months?! Holy, he might hyperventilate right now. It all feels like a dream. Is this real right now?
You cup his cheek and move into his lap, continuing to move your lips against his and soobin’s ears and face are all flushed, breathing loud of enough for you to hear and he looks all nervous and a little shaky.
You stop kissing him but he chases after your lips still and you stroke his cheek, “Are you okay Soobin?”
He’s only able to nod, lips parted and eyes all glazed over. He’s so out of it just from making out with you it’s crazy. But so cute too.
“C-can you…can we…just want…”
“What do you want, baby?” You chuckle and stroke his cheek as he manages to utter some words. The petname only makes his head go even more haywire.
“W-want you…”
“What do you want me to do?” You giggle and coo at him.
He shyly shows you the boner he’s had this entire time. You can’t believe he got a boner just from some kissing. “Can you-will you touch me…please? Need it…” He pleads at you nervously, so red in the face.
“Are you sure?”
He nods his head exceptionally fast and you begin to unbuckle his jeans as he watches you take his flushed and hard dick out, breathing only becoming heavier. Damn, you didn’t think he’d be that big.
You take him into your hands and his mouth his already agape, gasping when you slowly start to stroke him.
You pump his big cock at a steady pace so as not to overwhelm him too much, though twisting and thumbing at the tip occasionally that has him drooling at the corner of his mouth and beads of precum dribbling out heavily from his cock. It’s endearing how far gone he is just at you stroking his dick slow, shy whimpers and other noises eliciting from his mouth.
You unbutton you shirt with your other hand as you continue to pump him and his eyes go crazed at the sight of your tits, you guiding his own big inexperienced hands to grope at them and he does, slumping his head into your neck and shoulder moaning into it and still groping and squeezing at your tits.
With a sudden yelp you feel Soobin’s cum spurt up and leak into your hands, his eyes rolling back as he whimpers continuously from his premature orgasm.
He doesn’t lift his head from your shoulder yet, too embarrassed to face you but he eventually does, eyes still half lidded, trying to catch his breath and he’s hard again. “W-will you fuck me? Please please please. Wanna feel it, wanna feel you, please?” He practically begs, still panting out.
“Are you really sure, Soobin? With me?”
“Yes please! Only want you.”
You study his face for any hesitancy but it’s clear he’s so set on wanting you to fuck him. So you wrap your hands around both his wrists and bring him to lay down on your pillows instead, you still straddling his lap.
When you’ve undressed your lower half, you bring his dick and slide it over your entrance a few times, he moans out loud, hands coming up shyly to cover his face and then you sink down incredibly slowly on his massive length . Soobin’s jaw drops and breath hitches at the feeling of his dick finally in your warm pussy, a strangled moan ripping out of him. He could seriously cum just from being in you right now, but he tries so hard not to or you’ll be disappointed and he doesn’t want to see you disappointed or embarrass himself even more.
“You good, baby?”
“M’ f-fine. Just-Just need a minute.” Soobin shakes out.
You take his hands away from his face and lean down to softly kiss him instead, trying to calm him down and he effuses into your mouth, kissing back passionately with his eyes closed.
“I’m ready now…” He pulls away after a while and looks you in the eyes.
So you start to slowly move, riding him, going up and down on his virgin dick. Soobin’s mouth hangs open in endless moans and gasps and whimpers, face buried into your pillow to the side and his hair all messy now. Whole body flushed and shaking underneath you.
“Better than you thought, baby?” You grunt out, bouncing on top of his cock.
“So much better. O-oh my god, f-fuck…ah!” So maybe sex wasn’t overhyped after all. Because goddamn, you feel so fucking good. Maybe it was just you. But Soobin truly feels like he’s gliding on fluffy clouds right now. All the times he’s touched himself not even coming close to how he feels right now stuffed in your pussy as you fuck him, watching mesmerised as your tits bounce with each movement. He could die here right now in full contentment. Oh how he was so wrong.
It’s not long at all before Soobin can’t hold it anymore. His hips bucking up and breath hitching as a loud strangled mewl tumbles out of his mouth and you feel hot cum fill you up suddenly that makes you still your movements on him. He lets out a long slurred groan and then goes limp beneath you, eyes closing shut and open as he fades from conscious to not every now and then. Is he really that fucked out?
After a while, he finally somewhat recovers and comes back to you from his high, still panting out and chest rising up and down. He looks up at you with a small shy smile on his lips, arm thrown over his forehead.
“You know I literally only go to the bakery because of how cute and silly you are and how you always make a mess of yourself whenever I walk in” You chuckle and admit, drawing shapes into his chest.
“W-wait you knew I liked you?” Soobin asks, shocked and feeling embarrassed again.
You laugh, “Come on, you made it rather obvious.”
Please actually reblog !!!!!! and leave comments !!!! guys 😭 if you like the fic. It’s really appreciated and so nice tysm !<3🙏💕🌷🌷! It’s incredibly discouraging and irriating when fics have such little reblogs ☹️. At least send an anon in the inbox if you don’t want to rb, don’t just like. Feedback is always appreciated it make writers want to actually write :)
A/n: having serious writers block rn but forced myself to write this in practically one sitting (it was so painful) and has not been proof read at all so if it makes no sense I apologise 😭
#soobin smut#Soobin x reader#txt smut#sub!idol#txt headcanons#txt scenarios#sub soobin#dom reader#dom! reader#txt x reader#sub txt#soobin hard thoughts#choi soobin smut#choi Soobin x reader#soobin scenarios#sub! txt#sub idol
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Second Son
Pairing: Benedict Bridgerton x fem!reader
Summary: The second son is, for once, the first choice...
Warnings: none really... mild angst, family dynamics, love at first sight.
Word Count: 2.9k
Authors Note: Request fill for anon here, about Benedict being the second choice for everything.... until his love turns up. Thanks for this request; I hope this is angsty enough for you anon. Im not sure about it tbh. Sorry that it's taken more than three months to get to it on my WIP list. Unbetaed. Enjoy <3
Benedict Bridgerton was born into privilege and can have few complaints. Except perhaps that he is always second. The spare. The just-in-case option. Being a familial insurance policy lends one more freedom than the burden of being the titled first son, perhaps, but it also feels like your whole existence, in some respects, can seem like a contingency plan.
____
His stomach swoops with excitement as the arrow pierces the target dead on the bullseye. And on his first ever archery lesson, just after his twelfth birthday.
He turns around to see if anyone is there to witness his triumph, but it goes unmarked. All his young siblings gathered around Anthony, patting him on the back for his achievements in doing the same moments before. Being a good shot is an essential skill for the next Viscount indeed. The fact that he has been receiving instruction for months already and this is Benedict’s first lesson hurts a little.
But he doesn't bother to bring attention to his arguably more impressive feat. It seems pointless now. Wordlessly he shrugs and walks towards the target, plucking out his arrow and starting again. Perhaps next time, they will notice.
____
“Is that the new Viscount Bridgerton?” Benedict hears a young girl murmur as he sweeps into the first societal event of the season, the spring following his father's death.
“Oh no, my dear, sadly not; I believe that is one of the brothers,” her mother replies, acting as if he has no sense of hearing, even trying to ignore it as he is, surveying the crowd.
“Such a shame,” the young girl huffs, “he is so very handsome.”
“Yes, dear, but sadly not titled. We can do better,” her mother chides, moving them along out of earshot.
He will never get over how cutthroat the Ton can be, a part of his tender seventeen-year-old heart sinking. Not that he had a potential interest in that girl, more the principle that he will somehow be rendered as an also-ran, at best a consolation prize, for the rest of his life.
What is most galling, perhaps, is that, when his mother needs their presence the most on a night like tonight, the new VIscount is nowhere to be seen. Has not even bothered to show his face, running off to some spurious gambling den and brothel, spending the night indulging himself rather than facing society.
So here Benedict is, stepping up to play the dutiful son that his elder brother should be. Being the support their mother so desperately needs at her first event as a widow, her arm looped heavily through his, her whole bodyweight seeming to use him as her literal pillar of support. As he escorts her around the room, he is filled with admiration at her brave face. He can see the overwhelming sadness in her eyes every time the word dowager is invoked, and his heart cracks a little at the loneliness he can feel emanating from his mother’s very soul.
“Tis a shame the Viscount did not deign the first event of the season worthy of his patronage,” she states pointedly as she sips champagne.
“I am sure he has very good reasons for his absence,” Benedict replies soothingly, covering for his errant brother, attempting to shield their mother from the truth of his philandering ways. Benedict knows it is Anthony’s way of dealing with the responsibility of the title of Viscount being thrust upon him so young. But sometimes, just sometimes, Benedict wishes he could escape his grief in such a manner, Anthony taking his turn attending a stuffy ball and playing guardian to a grieving woman. Their burdens may be different, but the wish to escape them is often not, Benedict realises.
____
She catches his eye at a garden party at Aubrey Hall. She is a pretty young lady, maybe eighteen to his twenty-three, with bright eyes and a sweet, happy face. She makes his palms slightly sweaty. He watches her from a distance, uncertain how to approach or what to say, feeling a little tongue-tied, even.
Just then, Anthony materialises at his shoulder.
“Who is that pretty young thing?” Anthony asks, tracing Benedict’s line of sight.
“Miss Bradstreet,” he replies, watching as she turns to face the sun, closing her eyes, basking in its warmth. The light captures her cheekbones perfectly, and he itches to have his sketchbook and capture her likeness. He would very much like to get to know her better.
“Let's go provide a warm welcome,” Anthony smirks, clapping a hand on Benedict’s shoulder and practically dragging him across the lawn.
Benedict reluctantly follows, a flutter of excitement as her eyes land upon them as they approach.
“Miss Bradstreet,” Anthony swaggers. “Viscount Bridgerton at your service; I am so very pleased to be your host today,” he bows.
Benedict's stomach plunges as he watches her practically melt into the lawn right there, virtually swooning at Anthony’s feet.
“Oh, and this is my brother, Benedict,” Anthony adds, almost as an afterthought.
She flicks her head to the side briefly to politely acknowledge Benedict before returning to Anthony. All of her undivided adoring attention on him as he regales the story of his latest hunting triumphs upon her insistence. Benedict heaves a sigh and watches as yet another young lady he likes chooses his brother over him. He is almost used to it now, but it doesn't stop the sting every time.
____
Your world grinds to a halt as you see him. He is descending the stairs with what you assume is the rest of his family. He is very much in the middle of a tight circle, walking behind what appears to be his mother and perhaps older brother. Quite the most beautiful man you have ever seen, your heart pounding in your ears, your throat suddenly dry despite the lemonade in your hand. You assume they must be the hosts, seeing as they are the very last to enter the ballroom here at Bridgerton House, and there is no announcement of their name.
“Who is that?” you whisper, leaning towards your elder sister. She has been out among society for a year and knows the Ton better than you.
“That is the Bridgerton family, of course,” she replies. “Illustrious in the extreme. Our hosts for this evening. The Viscount there is the most eligible bachelor of every season… and every season, he has resisted a match. So I wouldn't bother if I were you,” she sniffs.
“Which is the Viscount?” you check, your eyes unable to leave the beautiful man with a cravat tied in the most unconventional fashion.
“The one with his arm looped with their mother, the dowager Viscountess, naturally,” your sister rolls her eyes as if patently obvious.
“And what of the others?” you inquire keenly, realising the man you admire cannot be the one your sister is referring to. “Do you know their names?”
“I do not,” she admits, “such things are not really important when one is looking for a titled husband,” she points out airily.
You nod, knowing the responsibility your sister must carry as firstborn to find a suitable match that can provide for your widowed mother and, indeed, perhaps yourself and your younger sister should neither of you be able to find a husband. You don’t envy her position one little bit.
You are, however, desperate to get closer to the most beautiful man you have ever seen. And so you spend your evening working towards them, in as polite of a fashion as you can, your stomach in knots of excitement to know him.
“Dowager Viscountess Bridgerton, it is an honour and a pleasure to meet you,” you curtsy, heart pounding as he now stands a few feet away, unable to look at him so close by.
“Hello, my dear and you are?” she asks politely.
“Miss y/n y/l/n, it is my very first season; I am so honoured to be here,” you explain. “I must provide the apologies of my mother, Mrs y/l/n, who could not attend tonight due to a cold, but she is so very thankful for the invitation.”
“Oh, of course,” the viscountess smiles. “I am so sorry to hear of her illness; please pass on my best regards… Anthony!” she turns to her side to grab the attention of a man. The viscount’s head whips around from where he is in discussion with another. “Come meet Miss y/l/n,” she needles pointedly. “Miss y/l/n, this is the Viscount Anthony Brdgerton, and he is so pleased not only to make your acquaintance but also for your presence here tonight,” she welcomes on his behalf, and you do not miss the subtle nudge in the ribs she gives him.
Then his regard is drawn to you. He is handsome certainly, and you appreciate his polite but absent-minded greeting. His attentions are obviously elsewhere, but then you cannot fault him as yours are the same. Your gaze strays over his shoulder to the man who first captures your attention. And your breath is stolen by how his hazy blue eyes stare intently at you.
____
Benedict is twenty-six years old when he is struck by lightning. Not literally. But that is the sensation that runs through his body when he first lays eyes on you—politely introducing yourself to his mother and thanking her for your invitation to this ball.
He thought he knew what attraction was until this point. He thought he knew the depths to which one could fall in love in an instant. He was an utter fool. He looks at you, and at once, everything is so quiet and loud all at once. He is desperate to know you in a way he has never felt. To grab your hand, take you somewhere, and ask you a million questions to get to know your soul. He also wants to kiss you so much that his lips tingle. And inside, his lungs want to scream as his mother does the natural thing and introduces the beautiful, polite young lady to her most eligible son… Anthony.
Then his heart jolts as your eyes stray from Anthony and meets his, your pupils dilating in a way that makes his lungs too small to inhale air. It is the first and only time a young woman has had Anthony’s full attention and has looked away from it. And to him, no less. The tidal flood of chemicals in his system makes it feel like he is vibrating in his very shoes.
____
You try your best to be polite and look at Anthony as he speaks, but your sight is drawn to this other man like a moth to a flame. From appearance, the second son, as you are the second daughter. A flare of understanding and sympathy in your chest as to how that is. You want to grab his hand and run away with him.
“My lord,” you find your voice and snap your eyes back to the Viscount, “would you do me the honour of introducing me to the rest of your wonderful family?” your ask, almost timid.
He looks temporarily taken aback, as if mystified why anyone in the Ton would care about the status of anyone beyond his mother and himself. You smile at him expectantly and do not miss, from the corner of your eye, how the beautiful man’s face is awash with surprise at your request.
“Oh, most certainly,” Anthony seems to snap out of his temporary stupor and turns to introduce his siblings in attendance. A tall, baby-faced young man stands to attention as Anthony moves from left to right. “This is Colin; he has just returned from his travels in Greece,” you nod and smile politely, knowing nothing of the subject. “And this is my sister, Eloise; it is her first season, and she is not in the slightest bit happy about that,” he adds dryly, and you can't help but giggle and feel a kinship with the spirited young lady who returns your wry smile. “My eldest sister, the Duchess of Hastings, who is visiting us,”
You curtsy and bow your head. “It is an honour, your Grace,” you add, and she smiles sweetly at you, her arm looped in her mother's.
“Obviously, you have met my mother,” he continues, and suddenly he is the last in the line. You feel your palms clench, sweaty in anticipation of learning his name “... and this is my brother, Benedict; he hopes to be an artist.”
You are finally brave enough to meet his eyes again. He is so achingly beautiful that the rest of his family, indeed the whole ballroom, melt away from your view—he is all you can see.
“Oh, I adore art,” you stutter, mesmerised, offering your hand to him, the first and only person in the family you do so to. Unseen by you, your gaze only on one man, Anthony’s mouth drops open in surprise.
Nothing can prepare you for when Benedict’s gloved hand gently touches yours, him bowing to kiss the back of your hand. You catch a woody citrus scent that makes your mouth water as he does so. And then you feel the warmth of his lips through your glove, and you are utterly undone.
“Miss y/l/n,” he rumbles quietly, the sound making your insides melt even more; it's deep and resonant and makes every inch of your body tingle.
“Please call me y/n,” you murmur, moving closer, knowing how scandalous that might be, but seemingly unable to stop yourself. He has a hypnotic hold over you that you don't want to fight.
“Only if you shall call me Benedict,” he breathes, and it takes Anthony clearing his throat to make you spring apart, suddenly remembering where you are.
____
His lips touch the silk of your glove, and he is gone.
Already planning a future, his mind supplying images of you at his cottage out in the country, the lady of the house. Tending to the herb garden, reading happily curled up in front of the fire in the drawing room, fearlessly plucking a bow as you stand in front of joint archery targets gently teasing him for losing to a girl, and finally, the image that truly knocks the wind out of him, you naked under him, desperately moaning his name as you move together, entwined in ecstasy.
He hears your sharp inhale, and his heart skips at the idea you feel it too. That you are the first woman ever that sees him and not Anthony. Really sees him. Not as the second son. Not as a consolation prize.
And when your body seems to sway towards him, he is already mentally asking his mother for a betrothal ring from her grandmother, which she said she is keeping just for him.
____
“Benedict,” his name feels wonderful in your mouth, like a gift from the heavens. “Please, may we take a turn around the gardens?” you implore, the boldest you have ever been in your whole life.
“It would be my very greatest pleasure,” he responds.
And you know with absolute certainty you have met your husband, the father of your children, your very future.
____
“It is not as if this is my show….” he sighs.
“You should not do that, darling,” you say affectionately, ruffling his hair as you move to fix his cravat; it definitely needs to be more jaunty, in your opinion.
“Do what?” he breathes, his wedding ring catching the light as he places his hands gently over yours and stills your motions.
“Think of yourself as second,” you argue, running your hand over his cheek. “This gallery opening may feature others' work too, but you are the star of the exhibit,” you reassure, tilting his forehead down so it rests upon yours.
There it is again. That look that always floors you. Even now, a year later. Like you are the most wondrous creature, and he can scarcely believe you are his.
“Never forget, you will always be first to me,” you utter fiercely, watching his eyes soften with devotion. “And not just me….” you guide his sizeable warm hand onto the swell of your belly, “to us. We love you so much, Benedict,” your tone is ardent, wanting him to believe he deserves this recognition, that he should believe in himself the way that you do.
“I love you, too,” he responds quietly, reverentially. “So very much. Both of you are my whole world,” his voice choked with emotion, and you throw your arms around him and squeeze hard, wanting to telegraph just how much he is the very centre of your universe.
An hour later, you clutch your hands over your chest as you watch him being brought onto the raised stage and introduced to the crowd as they applaud him and his work rapturously, awaiting to hear him talk of his art. As he does so, you stroke your belly unseen under your cloak, beaming with pride for your wonderful husband.
____
He sees your face in the crowd, and as ever, it calms him, especially at this landmark moment. So as he finishes the speech that he has rehearsed for days now, he decides to do something perhaps unconventional but something he seems unable to resist.
“Lastly, before I allow you back to your champagne,” he jests, finally at ease with the attention and recognition. “I want to thank my life’s inspiration, the very reason I stand before you today. My wonderful wife. Thank you, my love, for being the light of my life; for always making this second son your first choice. You will always, always be my first choice. I love you.”
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