#hi. haven't written him forever it might take me a second to get back into it ksjnfdskjns

[survivedsarchived]

“so... you've been spending a lot time with him.” it's intended to only be a casual observation, but felix can't keep himself from grinning. he feels fairly confident he understands what's happening here, but he won't assume - at least, he tells himself he won't. it could be nothing, but he knows his father, his past, and felix knows it's not that.

though he still briefly feels the same residual shock when reflecting on it that he'd felt when first learning about leo and lyla, it hadn't taken too long for felix to understand it; now, a deep sadness cuts through felix every time he thinks about what leo went through with her. garrett doesn't seem to be a repetition of that, but felix still hasn't fully learned to trust himself and his instincts again (there's still a mark of betrayal that mars his heel, healed, but not gone - the stark white of a scar will remain forever).

he feels the need to protect settling into his hands, and felix can't help the way his voice shifts, tone suddenly reminiscent of the one utilized when he'd conduct intake interviews. “is it serious?” @doomdays

[dunnerlars]

always attract - matthew tkachuk

pairing: matthew tkachuk x fem!reader summary: matthew mistakenly tells your brother that you're his date to his wedding. word count: 5.7k warnings: none? i don't think a/n: this is my fic for @sc0tters for the #the summer fic exchange 2k24 hosted by the wonderful @wyattjohnston! i haven't written in forever so this was fun to dive into- and it's not beta'd because i'm terrified to ask someone to look it over so all mistakes are my own 😅

—

Matthew 🐀: I know its 5am for you but i think fucked up

Matthew 🐀: Will you be my date to your brothers wedding

The text has you blinking rapidly as you check the time, your phone bright in the dark of the room. Why the fuck is he up right now? Squinting, you see it’s just past 5am and groan, falling back into bed and wondering what the fuck Matthew’s even talking about. It takes a second for you to put everything together, mind failing to keep up with the words date, wedding, and brother.

Me: Sorry what??? What are you talking about

Matthew 🐀: we’re at connor’s bach party and leon asked if i had a date yet and i might’ve told connor you were going to be my date

Me: It’s 5AM 

Matthew 🐀: i know we’re heading back to the hotel now but Please b my date

Me: What did connor say?

You huff and roll over, sitting up to turn the light on your nightstand on. Matthew hadn’t responded back yet and you quick to type:

Me: Is he pissed??

Matthew 🐀: its hard to tell w him you know? So what do you say? Date? To the wedding? pleaseeeeeeee

Suddenly a knot forms in your stomach at the thought and despite it not being your fault you feel guilty for Connor thinking you were hiding something from him. Matthew is your friend….He wouldn’t be the worst date. Might as well get something out of it.

Me: What’s in it for me?

Matthew 🐀: literally whatever

Having a favor from Matthew could come in handy at some point, you think. And it could be worth all of this fucking nonsense he’s putting you through at now 5:22am. 

Me: Fine, but you owe me a no-barred favor. I can ask for whatever, whenever I want no matter what.

You pause-

Me: How did this even happen?

Matthew 🐀: i’ll explain tomorrow and we can figure out details!!! Thnks babe 😘

Rolling your eyes, you set your phone back down on the nightstand and sigh. It’s almost too much to think about how quickly Connor and Matthew had become close over the last couple of weeks. You’d thought for sure there would be some residual hate from the Panthers Cup win but then Matthew had invited Connor out to his day with the Cup and it was love at first bro hug or whatever excuse they used. And despite the invites going out months ago, Connor had finagled an invite for Matthew and now here you were.

Ever since your move to southern Florida last year, your growing friendship with Matthew had always bugged Connor so it was funny to you now, seeing the tables turned. 

The vibration of your phone breaks you from your thoughts and you prepare yourself for another text from Matthew only to be surprised to see it’s a text from your brother.

Connor 👼🏻: So Tkachuk huh?

Deciding it was far too early to deal with this anymore, you turn the phone over and will yourself back to sleep.

—

It’s the next day when Matthew requests to FaceTime you, your phone ringing with a video call as you step outside to your backyard and get settled on a patio chair.

“Well aren’t you a sight for sore eyes,” Matthew greets, his grin the most endearingly annoying thing about him.

“You don’t have to use lines on me, Matthew. I’ve already said yes,” you remind him, eyebrows raised as you try your best to glare at him. You take stock of his surroundings and frown. “Are you back in St. Louis already?”

“Yeah, I had a charity thing scheduled with my dad for tonight so I flew back late yesterday.”

“Oh.. Hope you’re not too hungover.” 

He shrugs and regroups, sliding his sunglasses up into his curls. “I’m alright. So-,” he starts but you cut him off.

“I need you to explain to me what happened last night before we figure out everything else.” It’s something you’ve tried to piece together and you still haven’t texted Connor back, afraid you might break Matthew’s cover.

“Alright, that’s fair,” he nods, “We were walking back from a bar and Leon asked if I had a date to the wedding, since it was short notice that I was going. And the way he asked- it just really bugged me. Like his tone? I dunno. It just rubbed me wrong. And the guys were making shitty comments. Whatever.”

You know the tone Matthew’s referring to, grateful you’ve never been on the receiving end. Leon was a hard one to crack and it’d taken you at least a year to wear him down. Nodding at him to continue, he shifts his eyes and you can tell he’s embarrassed. 

“So obviously I told them I had a date and they stopped and it was fine- until your brother pulled me back from the group and asked who I was bringing, so he could tell Lauren, and I panicked and said you,” he mumbles the next part, your ears straining to pick up the words, “And I might've mentioned we’ve been dating.”

You pause, wondering if Matthew just said what you think he did and yeah- he did. He at least has the nerve to look sheepish, apologetic. “Dating? Are you… What? Matthew!”

“Look, I was on the spot okay! And drunk! And it’s not like it’s out of the question. You’re one of my best friends. My mom loves you, I swear you talk to my sister more than I do. I can go on,” he shoots you a pleading look.

“Well when you put it that way, sure. I guess.”

“You guess? You know I’m right.”

Sighing, you nod. “Fine. Whatever. Did you give him any details? I can’t imagine Connor didn’t have a million questions, I tell him everything.”

“What do you mean everything?”

“Matthew, that’s not the point. Did he question you at all?” 

“No. Just patted me on the shoulder and we caught up with everyone else.”

“Huh.”

That’s…. Weird. And out of character for your brother, who’s nosy as fuck when it comes to your personal life. Maybe he already thinks it’s all a lie. Or is just actually super pissed, which isn’t any better. Would this even be worth it? How often would a favor from Mattew come in handy? Okay, actually pretty handy. He’s got money, connections. Could be good to have for things you don’t wanna ask Connor for… Ugh.

Glancing up, you catch Matthew waiting for you to say something and his curls catch the back light of the St. Louis sun from behind him, casting an almost halo glow around his head. His eyes are bright, sunglasses still tucked up on the top of his head. Two front teeth catching his bottom lip and biting and God, he’s pretty. 

Maybe this wasn’t the worst idea. What could go wrong? 

“Alright, let’s figure this out…”

—

It’s hours later when you finally work up the nerve to call Connor, lying in bed after a long day. Since he hadn’t questioned Matthew for details, it was easy enough to make up a backstory for you and Matthew: it’s only been a couple of months, things aren’t serious but they’re fun and easy and you both like each other enough that it’s exclusive. Which was all real except that when you hung out, it just wasn’t a date. Because you weren’t dating. Nope.

The call finally connects, sure you were almost going to get his voicemail, and Connor greets you with, “Thanks for letting me know you’re alive.”

It’s easy to tell by the tone of his voice, short, quick and void of any emotion, that he’s disappointed because it’s the voice you know he uses when he loses a game he felt they should’ve won.

“You’re mad.”

“And why am I mad?”

“Because-”

“Because I found out you’ve been secretly dating Tkachuk behind my back, from him? Why did I have to find out from him and not you, my own sister? Was this going on throughout our entire Cup series? Or has it been longer?”

Fuck.

“Matthew lying to me is- It’s whatever. You’re my sister. Why didn’t you tell me? What about telling me made you straight up lie when I’ve asked you about your trips up to wherever the fuck the Panthers play? Or when he’s down there with you?”

Fort Lauderdale your mind supplies but you know it won’t do any good to say so.

“You always made it seem like it was just buddies when you told me you were meeting with him for lunch or whatever, someone that reminded you of home, but I guess that’s what made it so easy, huh?” The heat in Connor’s voice has petered out, like he’s figuring it all out and he sighs. “Fuck. I’m sorry. This is probably why you didn’t want to say anything to me.”

“It really was just friends, Con. I promise,” you tell him. “Then… I dunno. Things just got more real. I didn’t want to see anyone else and he didn’t either. It’s only been a couple of months, I swear.”

“So, through the series, huh?”

“Yeah.”

Connor lets out a long breath, like he’s deciding his next words carefully. “I’m sorry you felt like you couldn’t tell me. I get it. It wasn’t the best reaction.”

“No shit,” you laugh.

“But you’re coming to the wedding together?” You hear someone shout in the background and grin when you recognize Lauren’s voice. “Lauren wants to know if she should switch your escort down the aisle to Chucky.”

“I mean,” you pause, thinking. It would be nice to know who was walking down with you, one of Lauren’s second cousins or something was supposed to be your escort but having Matthew on your arm would be nice. “Yeah, sure. As long as it doesn’t fuck anything up on her end.”

Connor grunts, “As if Lauren would let anything fuck that day up. It’s fine. Let Chucky know for us, yeah? She’s making the calls already.”

“Alright. Thanks, Con. And tell Lauren thank you too.”

“Will do. Love ya, kiddo. Sorry I freaked out.”

You roll your eyes. Brothers. 

“Love you too. I’ll text you once I talk to him.”

Lauren and Connor both shouted their goodbyes as you hung up.

Me: So you’re gonna be my escort down the aisle next week in the wedding 🙂

Matthew 🐀: Fuck you

Me: You wish

Matthew 🐀: well yeah

Of course he didn’t mean it like that- Matthew always down for a joke, and you calm your racing heart, gulping down some water.

So now you not only have a fake boyfriend but also said (fake) boyfriend was going to walk you down the aisle at your brother’s wedding. In a week. Great.

—

You fly into St. Louis. The plan was to meet up with Matthew on the Saturday before the wedding and then you’d fly up to Toronto and drive up to Muskoka together on Wednesday. Trying to keep up appearances, Matthew had said. Thankfully the flight from Miami to Missouri wasn’t too terrible, even if the lady that was sat next to you had a perfume on that made you nauseous. 

Matthew had texted you that he was idling on the curb, waiting, and once you had your bags, you headed outside into the muggy heat. The loud honk of a horn coming from a giant black SUV startles you and Matthew rolls down the window with a laugh, “Come on, they’re gonna make me move again.”

It was tempting to make him squirm but you caught the eye of one of the traffic guards and scurry forward, dumping your bags into the backseat before jumping into the passenger’s side. 

“Hi.” 

“Hey,” he grins, turning on his blinker before merging onto the road. “Seatbelt please.”

The quietness of the truck surprises you as you buckle your seatbelt, having expected some kind of rap music or sports podcast to be playing through the speakers. Or at least that’s what he normally was listening to when you’d meet up in Miami, and he’d pick you up at your apartment. The silence was comfortable though, the quiet hum of the AC and the tapping of Matthew’s fingers against the steering wheel filling the cab. His posture was relaxed, slouched in the driver’s seat.

Matthew swats lightly at your thigh, pulling your attention away from the window, “You should let Connor know you’re here.”

Digging through your bag, you search for your phone and fire off a quick text to the group chat with your brother and parents that you’d made it safely to St. Louis and were with Matthew, heading back to his house.

“So, how was the flight?”

Well it was fine in the sense that nothing went wrong and there weren’t any screaming babies and you managed to fall asleep since you’d been up at the ass crack of dawn to make sure you got to the airport in time but- Well. Your dreams had been filled with flashes of Matthew’s smile and his laugh and how he always managed to make you feel better after a bad day at work and he’d called just to say he was bored and was wondering what you were doing and, and and-. 

Where was this even coming from?

You obviously couldn’t say all of that so you shrug, “It was okay. The lady next to me must’ve bathed in perfume because I almost gagged but I pulled a mask on and managed to fall asleep against the window.”

Matthew whistles in sympathy, “God that’s always the worst.”

Nodding, you chew on your bottom lip and turn to face him in your seat and get a good look at him. “You look nice.”

And he did. There was something different about him and you weren’t sure if it was the glowing tan that covered his neck and arms, the blonde that was starting to weave its way into the curls that sat neatly on his head, or just the ease at which he was holding himself but he looked different. Maybe part of it was the fact that the last time you’d seen Matthew in person was right after the Panthers victory and he’d been dog tired and worn out, bushy beard and clothes hanging off his frame. This Matthew was refreshed and had a Stanley Cup under his belt, carefree and like nothing could bring him down. 

Matthew glances at you quickly, a sly smile overtaking his face. “Yeah? Well, gotta look good for my girlfriend ya know? Figured I’d shower, at the very least.”

Wait.

“Your parents don’t think we’re dating, right?”

Matthew’s quick to shake his head with a honking laugh, “Nah, I explained to them what happened. My mom’s excited to see you again though. And Taryn.”

“Not your dad?”

Pulling off the highway, he chuckles and shrugs. “Big Walt’s not home. He’s on some golf trip for the week.”

It’s hard not to let your relief show. Keith wasn’t your favorite person and taking him out of the equation of this short trip was a small victory you were willing to celebrate. To yourself.

“Cool cool cool.”

“It’s okay that you don’t like him,” Matthew assures you as he pulls up to what you can only assume is his parents home. It wasn’t familiar to you in the way Matthew’s St. Louis home was becoming from all of the play-by-play videos he’s sent during his off time, describing the day he’s had while grabbing his mail, or going for a walk around the neighborhood while telling you about the latest update on Brady’s incoming baby or what he was going to have for dinner.

“I don’t like how he treats you,” you remind him, voice quiet.

It was no secret to Matthew how you felt about his father. You couldn’t even begin to count how many times you’d heard Keith put him down through solo interviews or in passing comments from Matthew or even Tayrn, when she’d call to tell you about another argument the two of them had that she’d overheard.

Matthew nods, grimacing. “Well, we don’t have to deal with him while we’re here. Come on, let’s head in before my mom wonders why we’re sitting out here instead.”

The rest of the day was uneventful. You and Taryn hang out in the backyard with White Claws while she tells you horror stories from her last semester at college and Matthew flits in and out, helping his mom with dinner while also trying to get the juicy gossip. It was comfortable, even if the St. Louis air was sticky with humidity and dinner went by quickly and soon enough, you were back in Matthew’s car heading to his place.

“Well this is nice. Not as nice as the one in Florida but- nice,” you whistle, taking in the coziness of Matthew’s home. There was an overstuffed couch in the center of the living room, a coffee table littered with sports magazines, and further back you could see the kitchen with deep brown cabinets and hardwood floors to match. “Very cozy.”

“Yeah, my mom took care of most of it during the season. I just sent a bunch of pictures of things for her to copy,” Matthew shrugs, nodding up the stairs. “Uh, guest rooms are up there. You tired?”

“Really fucking tired.”

“Come on then, up we go.”

Matthew led the way up the stairs, carrying your suitcase. The temptation to smack his ass was a hard one to quell but you just barely managed when you hit the landing. 

“So,” he points to the left. “That room I use as an office but it’s got an en suite. Bed’s kinda small though.” Pointing to the right, he glances at you before speaking. “That one’s closest to my room. Bigger bed. No bathroom though.”

“Well obviously I’m taking the bigger bed.” You nudge his arm with yours, taking the suitcase and heading towards the room. “So, plans for tomorrow: Taryn said something about getting lunch? I don’t know if you’re invited. Also you’ve gotta take me to that bakery here you’ve been talking about for months so I can judge the almond croissant you’ve deemed better than the ones from True Loaf. Which are the best. Obviously.”

As you dig through your suitcase in search of pajamas, you glance up to see Matthew leaning against the doorway with a weird smile on his face as he looks at you. “You good?”

“Yeah, just-,” he pauses, crossing his arms over his chest. “Glad to have you here. It’s been a while.”

“Happy to be here. Boyfriend.” You shoot him a wide grin, hoping it covers up the clear nervousness you’re feeling now that you’re settling in. Sleeping in his house.

Matthew snorts, shaking his head. “See you in the morning.”

—

The rest of your time in St. Louis was kind of great, all things considered. Matthew was an attentive host and Taryn and Chantal were eager to fill your time- from gossiping about the league, to things you needed to check out the next time you were in town. And Chantal had made you promise that you would- come back, that is, on your last night in St. Louis with the four of you crowded around the table in the backyard of Matthew’s house, sharing a bottle of wine and embarrassing stories.

You’d had to double, and triple check, with Matthew to make sure his mom or sister didn’t think the two of you were actually dating, especially when promises were being made to come back.

He’d just shrugged and said, “They just like you. I like you. Jeez, do people not tell you they like you?”

You were kind of bummed to be leaving as you packed your bag the morning of the flight up to Toronto, Matthew’s obnoxious singing ringing loudly throughout the house. After combing through the room a third time, you deemed it free and clear of your belongings and headed down the stairs, rolling your suitcase next to Matthew’s and chuckled at the sight before you as you turned towards the kitchen.

Singing horribly out of tune with Dancing Queen blasting on his phone’s speaker, was Matthew dancing like an idiot around the island in the center of his kitchen, eyes closed and belting the lyrics.

“Matthew.”

The live concert comes to an end, Matthew scrambling to pause the music. “Sorry,” he replies, ears tinged red in embarrassment. 

“Hey no complaints from me, but Taryn’s gonna be here in a minute,” you remind him, the fond smile on your face giving away far too much.

Matthew pockets his phone, nodding. He holds your gaze for a second before asking, “Come here?”

As soon as you’re a couple of steps away, Matthew pulls you into his chest and you go with a surprised oof.

“Thank you. For doing this.”

You turn your head into his chest, ear pressed against where his heart was and find comfort in the timed beating while you nod. “You’re welcome,” you mumble, turning your chin up and glancing at him.

Your gazes lock, his blue eyes searching yours. For what, you’re unsure but he seems to find the answers he’s looking for a short minute later, because he gives you another squeeze and steps back, letting out a breath. 

“I’ll grab the bags if you can shut the lights off?”

You’re already on it as Matthew walks away, flipping the switch in the kitchen and checking the backdoor to make sure it’s locked. The living room lights are next, and you meet him at the front door, catching Taryn’s car parked on the curb waiting. 

The drive to the airport is short, the early morning hours more forgiving with traffic and after giving Taryn a quick hug and a promise to text her when you both landed, you stepped away to give her and Matthew some privacy while dropping your bags at the kiosk outside. 

“Ready?” He asks, as you both wave goodbye to Taryn as she pulls away from the curb. 

“Let’s do this.”

The flight is smooth for how short it is, 2 hours passing by quickly. Arriving in Toronto is a nightmare, as usual, and Matthew spends over 30 minutes at the rental car desk trying to figure out where your reservation went. Eventually it gets sorted out and you’re on the road, tucked into the passenger seat of a sports car that you didn’t ask for. 

“If I fall asleep, don’t get mad at me please,” you yawn, pulling your feet up under you to get comfortable and leaning on the center console.

“Want me to turn the radio down?” Matthew doesn’t wait for your answer, his hand going for the volume knob but you stop him, your fingers wrapping around his wrist.

“No, it’s good. I know it helps keep you awake.” Pulling your hand away from his slowly you tuck it underneath your head and nudge your forehead against his arm. “Thank you for driving, by the way.”

“Happy to, honestly. Driving helps me clear my head,” he tells you, glancing down and shooting you a grin.

You’re tempted to ask what’s going on with him- he’s been acting a little out of character since this morning but sense that he’s not ready to talk about it, so you just hum in acknowledgement and turn into your arms, willing for sleep to find you.

Thankfully you manage to fall asleep on the ride up, a small 2 hour nap doing the trick because you wake up feeling rested.

The cottages were set on the lake in Muskoka where everyone would be staying for the wedding and you and Matthew were set to share one with your parents with Connor and Lauren next door in the one they own and spend his off season in. 

Your mom and dad are sat on the front porch in a set of rocking chairs as Matthew pulls up and  you’re quick to jump out of the car once it stops, calling out to them as they wave to you in greeting while he grabs the bags out of the trunk, “Long time, no see!”

Once hellos and introductions are done, with your dad and Matthew bonding what feels like instantly and your mom hugs you so hard you almost can’t breathe, the four of you make the small trek over to Connor and Lauren’s for dinner after dropping your bags off.

Dinner is comfortable, Matthew sat on your right with his arm draped across the back of your chair the whole time. Connor doesn’t give you two any weird looks and you count it as a win as you settle down for the night, avoiding talking about the fact that there’s only one bed in the room while you both brush your teeth. 

“I forget how involved these things are,” Matthew says, leaning against the counter watching while you finish washing your face.

“Weddings? Yeah, I mean. I think this is a little different, though,” you laugh, pat drying your face. “Lauren’s dialed everything up to a thousand for it.”

Matthew nods, thinking about it. “I’ve noticed,” he finally answers with, nudging you out of the bathroom. 

“And there was one bed,” you dramatically announce, sweeping your arms around the room and Matthew honest to god giggles which causes you to start giggling, both of you falling into a heap on the bed, trying to catch your breath.

Clearing his throat, Matthew grunts, “We’re adults, we can share a bed. Right?” His head turns towards yours and you swallow, realizing how close the two of you are. 

If you scooted an inch closer, you’d be able to tilt your head up and press your lips to his and- No.

“Right,” you finally manage to mumble out.

The air is stilted while you both turn down the bed, shuffling under the covers once the light is out and you make sure to stay tucked to your side of the bed, legs curled under you and knees almost hanging off the bed.

This was going to be a long weekend.

—

From morning yoga to late night barbecues, swimming and then rehearsals, you were exhausted. Not to mention keeping up appearances with Matthew: hand holding, arms wrapped around waists, and too many forehead kisses to count were wearing on you. It was starting to feel real and thinking about what was to come when the weekend was over and you’d go your separate ways was overwhelming.

If you were being completely honest with yourself, which was hard enough, was that the last week or so with Matthew had been nothing short of amazing. You didn’t date, really ever. It was hard enough being Connor McDavid’s sister and trying to figure out if someone actually wanted to be with you vs. wanting to know your brother and the perks it comes with but, with Matthew that didn’t exist. You didn’t have to question why he wanted to be around, and while yes, you know each other because of Connor, you were friends in your own right.

The morning of the wedding came quickly, finally managing to get a solid amount of sleep and it was easy to figure out why when you accounted for the fact Matthew’s chest was beneath your cheek when you woke up. So far you’d both managed to keep separate throughout the night, at least as far as you could tell since he was up before you most mornings so this was surprising. 

Matthew shifts beneath you and you peer up as he blinks his eyes open, gaze catching yours. “Sorry,” you mumble, about to roll away when he catches you by the waist to hold you tight to him.

He groans deep in his chest as he stretches out and settles back against the pillows, content with a smile. “Mmm, don’t apologize. This is nice,” he tells you, thumb rubbing against the bare skin of your arm.

You hum in agreement before catching the time on the alarm clock opposite of you and sigh. “It is, but I’ve gotta get up. Bridesmaids duties call and if I’m late, Lauren will murder me and I’ve been having a nice time so I’d like to not ruin that.”

“I have too,” Matthew agrees, “I was nervous at first but it’s been kind of- fun? And having you around hasn’t been too terrible either.”

You pinch him in the side at that and he squawks, shuffling away. “Alright, alright. Damn,” he laughs, jumping out of bed. “I ruined the mood, I get it.”

A knock sounds on the door, your mother’s voice ringing out on the other side. “Sweetie, Lauren just called to make sure you’re awake. We’ve gotta head over soon.”

“I’ll be down in five,” you call back, throwing the covers off and shooting Matthew a glare. 

His hands come up in surrender and you laugh, closing the bathroom door behind you.

You don’t have to do much before leaving, since the ladies are getting ready over at Connor and Lauren’s cottage and the guys are coming here. Washing up and grabbing your bag, you blow a sarcastic kiss to Matthew on your way out and he rolls his eyes and catches it before you leave and your mother just laughs, teasing you for how cute the both of you are. 

The wedding is beautiful, as expected. The guest list is full of people who you’ve known most of your life, who have supported Connor throughout his career, and you’re immensely proud of the person he’s become.

You stand at the altar among Lauren’s best friends and watch your brother get married, near tears, seeing how happy he is. How happy they both are- you’re gaining a sister in her and it’s all kinds of crazy magical, how everything’s come together and that includes having Matthew as your date because he’s been kind of the best. 

Once dinner is done, the cake is cut and the happy couple has come through and been announced and their first dance out of the way, the dance floor opens up and everyone lets loose. The DJ is fun and plays throwback after throwback and Matthew keeps close to you, offering to refill your drink or ask if you need a break when slow songs come on. Eventually you do, toeing off your shoes and hiding them under your chair before slumping into the table. 

“I am pooped,” you whine, blowing your hair out of your face and groaning into your arms. 

“It’s a little early to be tapping out, babe,” Matthew chuckles, finishing off his beer. 

“God, I know. Lauren will kill me if I leave early,” you glance around the dance floor for her and see Celeste behind her, arms wrapped around each other's necks and you smile. “Are you having fun? I’m not keeping you from anything? I know the guys are around here somewhere.”

Matthew’s quick to shake his head, nudging his knee with yours. “Nope, nowhere else I wanna be.” He licks his lips and you track the movement, mesmerized. “And yeah, lots of fun. You’re not too bad of a date.”

You snort, “Thanks. Really appreciate that.”

A few songs later and a discussion of the rest of your summer plans gone, you both join the dance floor again when a slow song hits. Matthew’s hands slide low on your waist and your hands clasp behind his neck, swaying to the beat. The music is soft and you can hear the nighttime noises from the woods behind you, the lapping of the lake against the dock that’s not too far away. It’s calming and Matthew pulls you a little closer, your head just close enough to rest against his chest.

“Have you thought about the favor you want when this is all done?” He wonders, keeping his voice low so only you can hear.

Honestly you’d forgotten all about the deal you’d made- it wasn’t exactly a hardship to play fake girlfriend to Matthew because it wasn’t all that different to how you normally interacted with him. But now that you’re thinking about it, maybe there was something you wanted. More time.

You tell him honestly, “Yeah. Later though,” and tuck your face back into his chest and will for the moment to never end.

—

It does come to an end. The wedding dies down a couple of hours later, Connor and Lauren waving everyone off and thanking the guests for coming. You and Matthew are both sober enough to make the small trek back to the cottage next door and he holds your hand the entire way back, using the excuse of not wanting to lose you in the dark. It’s tempting to call him on it but you don’t want him to let go either.

Your parents are already settled in bed when you both tiptoe up the stairs and you sigh in relief when you’re finally back in the bedroom, closing the door and immediately chucking your heels across the room.

Settling in for the last night, you turn over and feel brave, scooting closer to Matthew in the dark. 

“I don’t think I wanna fly back to Miami tomorrow,” you whisper, heart hammering. “I’ve still got the next week off and I was going to use it to catch up on some things around my apartment but I just. Don’t want to. You’re going back to St. Louis right?”

Matthew turns on his side to face you and you feel warmth spreading through your chest at the way he’s taking you in- like you’re something special, something to be taken care of. 

“Yeah, I was planning on it,” he tells you. “What are you thinking?”

“That I’m ready to cash in my favor.”

“Alright, hit me. What’ve you got?”

The look Matthew’s giving you is encouraging and you suddenly feel brave and steadily say, “Go somewhere with me.”

Matthew reaches across the short distance and his hand catches yours, twining your fingers together and asks, “Where are we going?”

[tinytennisskirt]

TINYTENNISSKIRT PERSONAL FAVES & PERSONAL SUMMARIES (CHALLENGERS)

summarizing my favourite fics that I've written so maybe if you haven't read them, you find reason to. Not in any specific order.

More Than Anything- Art Donaldson

I love this one a lot personally. It was a request and although I had to stretch to make ends meet, I am a huge fan of friends to lovers. I love childhood best friend! Art so much. He's a cutie. But thats what this is, childhood best friends to lovers but the platonic doesn't change. It just alters. The miscommunication, the misunderstanding of Patrick's words to reader are hurtful and they change things but Art fixes it and brings it all back together? I was already in love. It's worse. A kiss ending with a HUG ending is a weakness for sure.

Cottage Culture- Art Donaldson

It's an Art fic but it definitely doesn't lack Patrick. I love the dynamic I wrote for reader and the boys- its very established that they are long time friends and are very comfortable with each other. There's a lot of casual touching which means a lot to me. I love it. But Art who has feelings ugh love him for it. It's that thing with the trio where the connection between reader and Art is just a little bit more intimate in the ways that matter. Just a hint, but it makes so much difference. Plus a kiss in the water? Need. This fic takes place at a cottage away from the world and takes place over the course of a few days, so there's so many instances of attraction and so many POVS. It's also very summery so if you're feeling like a cottage getaway with your two fav challengers boys, this is perfect.

Let It Linger- Art Donaldson

I think I'm probably most proud of this fic. It took forever to write and I actually gave up twice, but it got completed. It's like an AU of the movie itself, but it bounces back and forth like a tennis ball on a court from Art's time at MRTA to post-canon divorced! Art who is searching for his old best friend at their 15 year high school reunion. I really really love this one because it's very friendship and yearning oriented. How close reader and Art get to being together before they fall out and into no contact for fifteen years but he sees her again and talking to her again feels like no time has passed? Finding out that fifteen years ago, reader liked him too? I really like writing super non-romantic romantic scenes like the simple things and the simple conversations between reader and Art that are so specifically somehow intimate though they're trying to make it feel like it's not. It's friends to lovers but in a way that isn't exactly satisfied. It's honestly so fucking good, I loveeee this one.

Sweetheart- Patrick Zweig

an AU where Patrick is a girl dad is just the perfect universe. He's a single dad in a cluttered house with an absolute angel genius of a daughter and reader is considerably younger than him. She's twenty, he's nearing forty. It's not inherently romantic at first, it's just banter, but he's soooo dirty. He can't help but think about her in a way that isn't exactly holy. And she's got some semi-innocent crush on him. He goes on dates but every night he comes home and has his little bits of banter with her and things get increasingly harder to manage over time. He might actually like her which is crazy, but I never specifically wrote that he does like her in any way that isn't sexual because I wanted the reader to kind of be in the not-knowing because why would anyone expect his character in this to be ACTUALLY into the twenty-year-old babysitter? This one is a smut and it's honestly really tasty and rough, but the ending is what is supposed to get you like 'ah, I see. feelings.'

Best Friend Patrick Zweig who is Totally Not In Love With You

This was my second headcanons list and I somehow ended up giving it a plot, so it's not just headcanons. It's a list of things Patrick does as your best friend who has feelings for you. The list format is loose, it's a headcanon and then it's like... written dialogue underneath the headcanon to explain it so it's more engaging. I really enjoyed tapping into my autism like 'yeah, he'd do that'. It's got all the good stuff like some jealousy, some quiet yearning, He's repressing his feelings which I love because it's so him. He and reader have a good dynamic and it's NOT ONLY x reader but it's also NOT ONLY headcanons. It's a good mix!!!

Those Three Words- Patrick Zweig

I'm honestly a little unreasonably obsessed with this one. It was such a small but well-written request I just HAD TO make it extra. I honestly never really plan out the way my fics go other than knowing the basics. But the aspects are always just as I go. Patrick going from a player to set on ONE girl for the first time in his life is wild and crazy and he likes her and gets her number but they're friends for months before they start dating. Reader becomes one of his best friends and it's lovely and fun and he's so into her. Surprisingly so. Like even takes him by surprise but it's so fun to write Patrick who is actually IN LOVE for the first time WHAT SO CRAZY. I love domestic life kinds of romance and yeah he says I love you so soon, but he means it. And he gets a bit of a monologue and it's funny and he's soft with her which I love and adore.

Just some behind the scenes thoughts. All fics are linked at their titles! Also just a sly little reminder that I LOVEEEEE comments. Your thoughts and feedback mean the world to me. Also, requests are open always <3333

[viktoriaashleyyx]

Helion is a hugger. Fight me. ❤️

This is a pro Tamlin, anti Rhysand self insert revenge fic. All characters belong to SJM, but she wasn't treating them right. Tam x reader, Tam x Rhysands Sister (OC), First person narrative. This will also reference Elucien and Neris in the future but we aren't there yet.

Word Count: 2432 (Hey I figured out Word counts!)

Ch 1

Ch 7 >> Ch 9

Chapter 8:

Tarquin had written back informing us that he has decided to send aid and supplies to help rebuild the western most village. Tamlin traveled out there to meet them this morning right after breakfast. Lucien and I stayed at the manor to discuss the upcoming trip to Day.

“Have you ever met Helion?” I asked Lucien as I entered his office, curiosity getting the best of me. I knew Baron was volatile at his best and wasn't sure if he knew of the rumors or not. I sat a warm cup of tea in front of him at his desk, before taking my seat in one of the ornate chairs in front of him.

“Nope, but I am not unaware of the rumors.” Lucien admitted, ignoring the tea entirely. He was reading over the plans I had drafted to rebuild the eastern village.

“Would you be interested in joining me? Just to see him, face to face,” I was treading carefully. I couldn’t read Lucien's mood. He put down the papers and sat back in his chair, finally looking at me.

“I have spent my life feeling like a bastard, watching Baron's cruelty towards my mother. He was cruel to my brother's but it always seemed like I got the worst of it. I could never do anything right, even as a child. The thought of having a different father entirely is a scary one. What if he doesn't see it and doesn't want anything to do with me?” He said coldly.

“Oh, but what if he does?” I offered him a soft, hopeful smile. Lucien's eyes lit up for just a second.

“I have never allowed myself to even dream of what a father's love might look like. I wouldn't know what to do with it. I am just the 7th son of Autumn.”

“But heir to Day,” I sang. “You glow when you're upset. And if the rumors are true, that Helion and your mother are mates, that would explain why you were able to hold on so long, long enough for Thorin to revive you. Children born of mates will always be inherently stronger and more powerful.”

“It's hard to hold on to that hope. It would be nice, but like most things in my life, it just paves the way for more disappointment and heartbreak. I do appreciate, however, that you are the first person to have ever discussed it with me directly.” Lucien’s demeanor softened slightly.

“Sometimes, just talking about things that weigh heavily on you can help ease the burden.” I replied. “With Tamlin busy in the western village, I know he would appreciate that I didn't travel alone. And who better to ask than the male he trusts the most?”

Lucien smiled, “well, how can I say no to such a flattering request.”

I returned the smile, “thank you.”

“And since you brought it up, who was the.. guy.. that revived me? Thorin? What is the story with him?” Lucien prodded. “He looked a lot like Tamlin.”

I giggled. “He is a friend I made shortly after arriving in Azeroth. He showed me the laws of the lands and introduced me to their way of life. He is what they call a Night elf, and a druid. We had an… arrangement.” I answered with a cheeky grin. “We kept the communication open, he knew about Tamlin and that my ultimate goal was to return home. I still love him, he is a good friend and he's always treated me with respect and I, him. Love doesn’t always have to last forever for it to mean something. ”

“Now that I know of Elain, I don't know if I could ever sleep with someone else.”

“And that is a fair decision, one made with respect to your own feelings. For me, sex can be as meaningless or as meaningful as you make it. I can sleep with someone just for fun, and as long as all parties consent and are on the same page, there isn't generally a problem.”

“How does Tamlin feel about this?”

“We haven't discussed it in depth yet, but he knows I have had other lovers just like he has. He can't be too mad at me considering my last lover saved your life and his last lover ended in the destruction of our court. Communication, even, no, especially the hard stuff, is important to maintaining friendships and avoiding enemies.”

“So, if I am attracted to someone else, even considering Elain exists, I'm not a bad person as long as I communicate?”

“And set agreed upon boundaries, yes.” I assured him. “But the situation with the sisters does confuse me. Mating bonds are rare, Tamlin and I had known eachother since childhood and I was still 50 years of age before it snapped into place. They are all in their 20s. I know humans mature at a faster rate than us, and they were considered to be of age by human standards before being ‘turned fae’ but that doesn't change the fact that they have only been alive for 20 ish years. And all of them have a mate? If I were to give you any advice, let Elain live. Let her know you will come if she needs you, remain close and protect her, but she is going to make stupid and selfish decisions, we all have, allow her that. Allow her to grow up and don't take anything she does personally. She is incredibly young.”

“That makes a lot of sense, and is comforting in a way.” Lucien thought aloud. “I do sometimes feel…” he shook his head, “She doesn’t want me,” softly whispered under his breath.

“Tamlin shared his memories of that day with me. What she went through was horrendously tragic. Is it possible she is just mourning the life she lost? Give her the benefit of the doubt. Do things that make you happy in the meantime. Heal and become the best version of yourself so that if, and when, she comes to you, she gets the best version of you.” I said it as a matter of fact. “Can I ask you something weird?” I could tell he was getting uncomfortable with the turn this conversation took, so I decided to change the subject.

“Sure, go for it”

“You were in that room with me, my brother and Tamlin, am I misinterpreting the amount of.. tension.. there was? If you know what I mean.”

Lucien blushed, hard, and looked away, a growing smile on his face. “Yes,” he couldn't help but chuckle at the absurdity, “almost a century ago, they thought they were subtle, but most of us knew.”

I laughed loudly, “he fucked my brother.” I couldn't contain it anymore.

“Please don't tell him I told you,” Lucien scolded lightly, holding back laughter himself, “And don't hold it against him.”

“I won't,” I said through laughs, “it's kind of flattering in a weird way.”

We finished our tea and prepped the last items we would need. I made sure to have the parchment with the spell in my pocket. “Are you ready? I don't want to be late.” Lucien sounded like he was giving me an order. I was slightly shocked but chalked it up to nerves. It seems I had said exactly what he needed to hear.

“Yes, I just have to do one thing real quick.” I opened a portal to the western village. I wanted to give Tamlin a kiss goodbye and let him know we were leaving.

Tamlin was carrying a stack of lumber over his shoulder, face flushed and chest glistening with sweat. I admired, even as a High Lord, how he was willing to get his hands dirty to help his people. “If you could do this, why did I spend all morning traveling here?” Tamlin asked, breaking the kiss.

I giggled. “You didn't ask me to, I figured you would enjoy the run.” I smiled innocently and gave him one last kiss before portaling back to Lucien.

♡♡♡♡♡

“Okay, ready now.” I grabbed Lucien's hand and portaled us to right outside the Day court castle. “Nervous?”

“Absolutely.”

“I'll be right here.” I whispered to Lucien then addressed the guards, “I have a meeting with the High Lord Helion.”

♡♡♡♡

“There she is, the beautiful Lady of Sp—” Helion's thunderous voice rang out before he caught sight of the male at my side. I've heard it is difficult to render the High Lord of Day speechless. They just stared at each other for a minute, before Helion spoke again, much softer this time. “You look so much like your mother..”

Lucien was frozen, I squeezed his hand in silent encouragement. “This is Lucien, my escort for today.” Neither of them heard me.

“I had heard the rumors, I could never find a way to reach you, or your mother, without putting her in harm's way.” Helion whispered, staring intensely at his son's face, then proceeded to pull Lucien in for a tight embrace. It took a few seconds but Lucien dropped my hand and held him back. “My son.”

I had no idea what to do with myself, I felt a tear escape, but I did not want to draw attention by attempting to leave. I could not ruin this moment for them. They both had dreamed and feared this day for nearly 300 years.

A few moments later Helion broke the hug, keeping one hand on Lucien's shoulder, “Look at you, a perfect blend of your mother and I.” He then turned to me, “you have brought me my son, this is the greatest kindness anyone has ever shown me, whatever you want, it's yours.”

“But I had a whole speech prepared.”

As the males took their seats in the meeting room, I just stared at my worst enemy. A throne. No, not a real throne, it's just what I just call the kind of seats with a high back and arm rests. In Tarquins meeting room I could just turn the chair sideways, but I can't in this case. “Do you happen to have a seat available that possibly doesn't have a back?” I asked, twitching my wing.

Helion let out a boisterous laugh, “of course, Lady, I hadn't considered that. The other illyrians I've met don't seem to have a problem with them.” He sent one of his men to fetch me a soft plush ottoman.

“Perfect, thank you.”

“So you wanted to discuss aid to rebuild Spring, is that correct?”

“Yes, but also, since my letter I must inform you that the Night court has committed an act of war. My brother attempted to assassinate the Emmasary of Spring, a son of Autumn and… the Heir to Day. Had I not stepped in your son would've been dead by Rhysands hand. Given they border you to the North, I figured it was pertinent information.”

“Spring has saved my life on multiple occasions” Lucien finally spoke.

“Well, it seems I am indebted to you then.” Helion looked at me.

“She doesn't like to hear that.” Lucien interjected. I just smiled and cocked my head as if to say ‘Lucien is right.’

We talked for a while, I gave Helion the same spell I gave Tarquin and he seemed shocked.

“Where did you find this? This is mighty impressive.” Helion proclaimed looking over the document. He looked to truly understand the weight this spell would have on the future of Prythia as a whole.

“I studied at the libraries of Aretuza for many years while in exile. I hear your libraries are also great. Once we get a handle on the Night court, I would love to spend some time here, if that is okay with you.”

“Sky, you are always welcome.” Helion gushed, looking up to me, then shifting his eyes to Lucien, and back to the parchment.

We spent the rest of the afternoon into the evening being shown the stunning architecture and cities of the Day court. I tried multiple times to take my leave and let Lucien and Helion catch up, but Helion kept pulling me back in. We sampled the sweet wines and toured a few of the libraries in the castle. Helion asked Lucien no less than a thousand questions about his interests, upbringing, skill set, and tastes. Lucien confided in Helion regarding his feelings about Elain, and shared stories of his travels. Typical father and son bonding that they both have missed sorely. I tried not to eavesdrop, and wasn't entirely sure where I fit in, but Helion was great at drawing me back into the conversation with a “Sky, what do you think about this?” Thinking of it after the fact, the playful banter we all three had going on could’ve been them flirting with me. Eh, it went over my head at the time.

As the sun began to set over the horizon, it was most definitely time to head on home. While Helion left the room to, most likely, fetch us another bottle of wine, I pulled Lucien aside, “I need to be leaving soon, if he offers, would you like to stay here for a while, or come back with me?”

“I would like to return with you, thank you for asking,” Lucien responded sincerely, “I need some time to think, all of this is getting a little overwhelming. In a good way, if that makes sense. I just feel I need some time to breathe and process everything.”

“I completely understand.” I reassured him.

When Helion returned we thanked him for his kindness and bid our farewells. He advised that he would send aid and craftsmen to assist in rebuilding the eastern villages. I made something up about Lucien being needed at the Spring court and he pulled his son in for another hug. “Come back soon, please.” Helion said as he broke the hug, holding eye contact. Lucien just nodded and smiled. I portaled us back to the foyer of the manor.

Just as soon as I stepped foot onto the tile floor, I was hoisted up and thrown over a broad shoulder. I screamed, playfully.

“Lucien, welcome back. I would love to hear all about how it went… tomorrow,” Tamlin wrapped his free arm around Lucien's shoulders briefly, “Sweet dreams, but I am stealing this one back now.” And he began carrying me up the stairs to our bedroom.

“Put me down!!” I played along, softly punching my fists against his back.

“Nope, I've missed you. It's my turn for your attention.” he teased.

Tag list: @ladythornofrivia @rcarbo1 @rin-u-pos @knoxic @lilah-asteria @littlefantasylover @julesvanslutta

[marsbutterfly]

Final Mission - Remastered

Summary: The rumbling begins to close in on you and your friends. With very few choices remaining, you have to watch as Hanji makes a decision that will alter the course of your life forever.

a/n: hello hello!! So ever since part 3 part 1 came out, I decided to start working on rewriting my very first work, for Hanji and for Attack On Titan. This piece has always meant so much to me as it was written with lol sm grief? anyway, I know it's been a while but Hanji pls come back, the kids and I miss you babes.

ᴡᴀʀɴɪɴɢs: attack on titan season 4 part 3 (part 1) spoilers if you haven't watched it yet, angst, blood, established relationship, soulmate loss, a bit of resentment towards tbh everyone if you squint. | ao3 | wattpad | the original | wc: 3.3k

“You could break my heart in two

But when it heals, it beats for you”

“I’m the one who brought everyone here. I killed my comrades to come this far. I’ll take responsibility for it all,” Hanji says, her hands trembling while grasping the thunder spears firmly, eyes filled with terror while a shallow breath fights to leave her lungs. The ground shakes beneath you and a chilling sensation courses down your spine.

You finally find the courage to turn around to face her as she approaches the group, words dying and being reborn in your throat as you struggle to find just the right thing to say, eventually landing on the bleakest yet most desperate request, “Don’t you fucking dare.”

Her footsteps are heavy, contrasting clearly with those of the colossal titans as they march towards you. Her vision is focused on the young, blonde boy ahead of you and you can tell she is trying with all her might to avoid your eyes, afraid of the reaction you might have.

“Armin Arlert,” her voice is gentle, gentler than it has been in a while, almost as if the heavy burden of the world inside the walls has finally lifted from her shoulders and she could actually think straight, “I hereby designate you the 15th Commander of the Scout Regiment.”

The remainder of the words exchanged between the two of them simply echoes in your brain, going from one ear to the other, almost as if they were speaking sheer gibberish. It doesn’t make sense, none of it does. Why is she making him commander when she is still standing right there? Hopefully not for the reasons you are expecting, right? Your thoughts move a thousand times faster than the actual conversation flows.

Your eyes are fixated on the scenery before you, a mixture of feelings coursing through your veins and your heart feels like it has been missing a few beats as an intense void begins to creep from deep inside of you. The situation is not ideal: the colossal titans get closer by the second, the atmosphere becomes hotter with their steam clouding the air and an overwhelming feeling of despair grows in your chest.

You focus on the sound of her voice, the same sound that has brought you so much comfort in the most trying of times now makes no sense, no matter how you look at it. Her face, which has always been your absolute favorite piece of art to ever exist, now contorted into a pained and saddened expression. In fact, it reminded of the way she looked when Erwin announced she would be taking over the Scouts in case he didn’t make it through Shiganshina.

You are finally pulled out of this trance once she begins to move again, this time towards Levi, confused and worrying eyes following her every move carefully as she moves across the brick bridge. From where you stand, you can see the black haired man tightening his left fist, the breeze hitting every so lightly, just barely enough for it to lift his hair and show you that he is sharing a quick glance with you before returning to Hanji.

“Hey, four-eyes,” he says. That’s the first time you have heard him call her those two words since she became commander. He had told you once before he did it out of respect, seeing that she was now his superior, so for him to say it now, in a moment like this, that is when the realization and truth of the moment finally began to dawn on you.

“You understand, right, Levi?” Her voice trembles in the slightest, in a manner that would be unnoticeable to anyone else but you and the man she is speaking to, “my turn has come at last.”

Hanji raises her hands, fingertips trembling and causing the thunder spears to shake, the sweat glistening on her face as her pupils twitch, it’s a sight you hoped to never see. She tries to play her nervousness off, “I’m giddy with the desire to make a supremely cool exit. Don’t stop what I’ve got going.”

For the first time, her eyes meet yours and you realize only then how many tears she was holding back, a quiet sob dying in your throat as you yelp, your body rejecting your brain’s commands to move, legs stuck in place and swallowing has never been this hard.

With a sigh, you hear those three words out of Levi’s mouth, the same words that are now only chanted by a ghost or a distant memory, “Dedicate your heart.” It feels like a punch to the stomach, air can no longer find its way inside your lungs and you choke on your own saliva, there is no denying what is about to happen anymore and the overwhelming sensation that there is nothing you can do to change it overwhelms you.

She smiles and lets out a gentle giggle, “That’s the first time I’ve heard you say that.”

Lastly, she makes her way towards you. The need for oxygen is intense but the very second that her gentle fingertips touch your face, the world seems to stop for a moment and every worry you have ever had dissipates into the feeling.

“I truly hope that you can forgive me one day,” she says and the tears that dangled from her eyes were finally allowed to fall. With a smirk on her lips, she blew on your face so that your hair would move from one spot to the other and the smell of her breath fills you with a sense of nostalgia and despair.

“Please don’t say that,” you whisper, bringing your body closer to hers, “you are the only family I have left. I don’t know where to go without you,” your voice trembles, your throat is as dry as the deserts you’ve heard Armin talk so much about. The tips of your fingers gently twirl a loose strand of hair that falls on her face.

Hanji turns her face at a precise 90 degree angle to look at Levi, a stoic expression on his face though his eyes tell you everything you need to know about his feelings. A tear runs down Hanji’s face, but only one as she won’t allow herself to fully break down until you are out of sight, “Will you take care of her for me?” He doesn’t respond with words, the only thing he does is nod his head in agreement.

Her eyes make their way back to you as she uses both of her hands to carefully cup your face, lips meeting yours with a desperation you had never seen before, almost as if she is trying to engrave you on her own body. Her tongue glides with yours for a couple of seconds and you feel the butterflies rising in your stomach as if it were the first time you have kissed her.

The moment couldn’t have been longer than a few seconds but it felt like forever and a day, your body nearly melting in contact with her touch. For a split moment, you forgot about the rumbling, about Eren, about the sacrifice she was about to make, nothing mattered anymore. Nothing but this very moment the two of you share.

Everything feels ok for a little while, the warmth of her brown eyes reminds you of the many cups of tea you have shared in the barricades, the softness of her touch bringing up memories of times you’ve met under the apple tree in the courtyard, and the gentleness on her lips stirring butterflies in your stomach, much like the very first time you’d seen her.

However it does not last long. You are brought back to reality by the sound of her ODM gear going off, the hook gripping onto the wall and the cold feeling her lips leave behind. Hanji doesn’t give you enough time to stop her, she simply pulls away before you could even react.

She doesn’t say anything. In the years that passed since she became commander, Hanji had been preparing you for the inevitable moment when she passes away, when her turn to make a sacrifice to save your life would come. In that time, you let your guard down, you had convinced yourself something like that would never happen, not to the both of you.

Your eyes are fixated on her every move, every swing of her blade, every flicker of her cape, and there is nothing you can do. Frozen in place, you watch in horror as she manages to take down a few of the colossal titans on their path of destruction. It wasn’t enough. The engineers still need more time.

Trembling hands struggle to find a way onto your blades as a thought goes through your brain, “How can I help her?” By the time you manage to look back up, you catch a glance of a scene that could only be described as your worst nightmare: your beloved’s body, the person you’ve loved most for the past few years, catching on fire as a result of the bodily heat of the colossal titans.

Your heart sinks in your stomach and all you can do is scream. Your feet begin to move as you make up your mind to run and assist them but a pair of strong hands get a hold of your waist before you have time to move forward.

“Reiner, let me go,” you demand, in vain. No matter just how much you kick, or scream, or scratch him, his grip will not loosen and a sense of utter despair fills you. Your throat burns and your vision is blurred out by all the tears, your hands are shaking and there is nothing more you can do.

The last drop was the moment you caught a glimpse of her lifeless, burned to a crisp body falling from the sky like a meteor ready to destroy your life. You had no more fight left in you, no more strength remaining to try and free yourself from Reiner’s arms.

Something inside of your brain begins to slip away, was it your sanity? Or something more personal, like your spirit? No, this was a feeling you had encountered time and time again, expedition after expedition, titan kill after titan kill, hopelessness. Except this time, the feeling was a thousand times worse.

Without her, how would you be able to find Eren and stop the rumbling once and for all? Not only that, but for the first time, probably ever, you questioned her judgment, after all, how could Armin be commander? The boy who was chosen over Erwin, part of the reason why you found yourself in this situation in the first place.

No, there was no use in pointing fingers at each other. If in a situation like this, where life and death walked hand in hand, she chose him, then you would trust her judgment, even if you didn’t agree with it, even if you believed it to be the wrong choice.

Your eyelids grow heavier the closer you get to the plane, the tears have yet to stop running down your face and a full body spread of goosebumps has taken hold of your skin. You manage to take a deep breath before allowing your exhausted body to slip into unconsciousness and, for the last time, you hear her voice.

“I love you.”

The pounding sensation in your head is nearly too much to bear. You squint through closed eyes, slowly using whatever little strength you have left to raise your arm, shielding your face from the far too close sun rays. The atmosphere surrounding the area is so heavy you could cut it with a knife, but a determined Armin breaks free from the awkwardness. “Listen up,” he says, the confidence is his voice masking his true emotions, “Let’s go over the plan.”

Their voices are now a bit louder, the slight turbulence you come across every so often causes the plane to shake and every last bit of metal to scrape against one another. You can hear the sound of a pencil scribbling on the metal floor, but whether it is writing or drawing, you are unable to realize.

As the conversation goes by, your ears begin to ring and your mind can’t help but wonder how long it has been. You take your hand up to your chest, clutching tightly to the fabric that covers the area above your heart, it feels empty, like it has been broken in two and the pieces have been flung out into space.

Has it been seconds? Has it been days? No, while it feels like an eternity has passed, deep down you know that it has only been somewhere between fifteen to thirty minutes. Tears begin to pool up in your eyes once more, that emptiness eating away at your stomach while you choke down a desolate sob. You don’t want to draw attention towards yourself but yet somehow, you find yourself as the center of everyone’s concern.

For a while, no one dares to move, speak or even breathe. You can’t be bothered by their reactions or lack thereof, the pressure on your chest desperately needs to be released. The tears won’t stop flowing, air fails to enter your lungs as heavy hiccups erupt from deep within your soul. The void you feel could only be compared to a bottomless abyss, not knowing when it will end.

Once you have no more tears left, you try your best to use your arms to sit up, cursing yourself for being so weak in the face of such immediate danger. Footsteps approach you and a helping hand finds a comfortable spot on your lower back, gently assisting you in your attempt to sit. You don’t need to see the person’s face to know exactly who it is.

“Mikasa,” you say, not quite sure if it is a question or if anything else is going to follow.

“How are you feeling?” She asks, her voice is raspy and gentle, like she has been doing some crying of her own. You can’t help but smirk, not out of happiness, but because you know they all already have an idea of what your answer is going to be.

“It feels like my heart has just been ripped out of my chest and I had to watch as it burned,” you say and they all immediately understand that you are referring to the condition you were forced to leave Hanji’s body in. It is a stupid question but, for some reason, it does make the aching a tad bit more tolerable.

“Your hand is bleeding,” Armin points out in a serene voice as he walks towards you, his footsteps seem lighter than a feather in an attempt to not spook you away, as if you were a wild, injured little animal, “How did that happen?”

“I cut it,” You respond, dryly. Your lower lip quivers as you open your palm, revealing the smallest piece of green fabric. It is clear from the patter and the design that it came from one of the cloaks owned by the Survey Corps, no extra words are needed for all present to understand that it belonged to their fallen Commander. Though no one desires to talk about it, Reiner decides to take the fall.

“I may not have been so gentle when we were boarding the flying boat,” he says, using his left hand to scratch the back of his neck while the right one holds onto the rail above his head, “I’m sorry, y/n. I should have been more careful.”

You know what he is trying to do. It is clearly a lie and there is no denying any of it, but you appreciate his efforts to remove the attention from the sore subject. You purse your lips in what could be considered a small smile while quietly nodding your head.

“Would you mind if I took a look at it?” Armin asks, kneeling beside you while reaching his hand underneath your own. Perhaps he was right to treat you like a spooked animal, seeing as your immediate reaction was to move your hand far away from him, clinging onto the fabric for dear life as you push your body towards the back of the ship until you collide with the metal wall. “Please.” He begs.

“No,” you cower away, “This is the last part of me to have ever touched her. It doesn’t hurt, in fact, I can barely feel anything anymore.”

Once more he asks, “Please,” and you realize he isn't going to let the subject go. So before too much of your blood has a chance to soak the bit of cloth, you switch it towards your other hand, extending your injured arm until it touches the top of his thighs.

You whimper as a stream of clean water comes in contact with your open skin, dirt debris being washed away by the contents as best as possible. Your eyes never leave his face, the now 15th Commander of the Survey Corps taking care of you, your heart gets heavier the more you think of him in such a manner. His shoulders are slumped forward, as if there is a “not so fictional” weight on them. It doesn’t take long before he is finished bandaging you up.

“I am fully aware it is not the same but,” a masculine voice comes from the front half of the ship, “you still have us.”

Your eyes now meet Levi, whose crossed arms and stern face somehow brings you the slightest amount of comfort. With a helping hand from Connie, you make your way towards him, gently placing yourself between Pieck and the black-haired man, who ever so gently places a comforting hand behind your back. It is rare for him to demonstrate any sort of affection, so by the way his fingers feel against your clothes, you can nearly feel his own grief. Another lump forms in your throat, but you swallowed it this time.

“We’ll make sure that Hanji’s death wasn’t in vain,” Mikasa swears, false determination taking over her words, “We’ll return Eren into his old self, I know he is still in there somewhere, just waiting for us.”

Any sort of emotion gets drained from your face as you stare deep into her eyes, gray orbs looking deeply at you in hopes of any approval of her message. You raise your chin as you cross your legs, bringing your body forward, closer to her. You don’t want to be mean, nor do you want to make her feel like her attempt at comforting you fell into deaf ears, but all present right now know that what she has said is bullshit. 

“Mikasa,” your voice is stern, “do you remember what Annie asked you once in the forest and then again after we attempted to communicate with Floch?” She doesn’t respond but, by the expression on her face, you realize that she knows exactly what you are talking about. With no indication that she plans on acknowledging the subject, you continue, “She asked you if you would ever be able to kill Eren.”

She looks away, gripping her knees tightly. “That won’t be necessary!” Armin says, the nervousness in his voice is palpable as he desperately tries to change the subject while still hoping to provide you with the comfort he knows you need at this moment.

You sigh before continuing, “I know you want to bring him back. I may know that better than anyone else at the moment. But I need you to listen closely as I tell you this,” Your voice is louder than the engines, the tears begin pooling in your eyes once more, you bring the small piece of Hanji’s cloak towards your chest, a determined expression on your face, “There is no bringing him back at this point. He has gone too far. Even if you did bring him back, the remaining world population would kill him with their bare hands.”

“Why are you saying all of this?” Someone asks, though your mind has become nothing but fog so you can’t quite tell whose voice it is at the moment. You take a deep breath, allowing the cold air to fill your burning lungs.

“Because no matter what you all say,” any emotion is drained from your voice, “my final mission is to kill Eren Yeager.”

“If I could do it all again

I know I'd go back to you”

[giggly-squiggily]

:O requests opennn!

I need some switches Yuki and Kyo (Fruits Basket) or I might go feral 😔🤚

It could start off like, Kyo going to kick Yuki but Yuki just catches it and starts scribbling his soles 👀

The rest is up to you ☺️ (ofc you don't have to use my idea if it gets in the way of writing flow)

(Request are closed! This is an older one!)

AHHH YESH! I love me some Fruits Basket! I haven't written for the boys in forever, so this was a treat! I've gotcha covered, anon! :D

Cloud 9 (Taglist Peeps)

@baby-tickles2022, @cupcake-spice13 @sarahmaystock5578 @rachi-roo @sevenincubistolemyheart @riisada @happy-trenchcoated-impala

CW: swearing, foot tickles

“You son of a-come here!”

Like many of their fights- Yuki had no idea how it started or how they escalated so. Thankfully after a while, he learned Kyo’s pattern.

Catching the ankle thrown his way, his nose crinkled with disgust at the smell of the cat’s foot directly in his face.

“Must your feet always stink?”

“Must you always be so ugly?” Kyo snarled back, hopping on his other foot as he regained his balance. He gave his trapped foot a tug with little success. “Let me go, you damn rat! What, you like feet or something?”

Yuki closed his eyes, praying for patience. And after he just promised Tohru they’d try to get along more. The world had a funny way of taking his words and throwing them back in his face.

Looking at Kyo, then at the foot in his face, a new- hopefully Tohru approved idea came to mind as he smirked.

“Not really, but since you’ve so kindly given this to me..” He reached out, curling his fingers against the sole. “I might as well make the most of it.”

Whatever snark Kyo had to throw at him vanished instantly with a scream- his body all but collapsing into himself. Miraculously, he was still standing- looking like a deformed flamingo as he snickered. “Yohohohou fuhuhuhuhucker! Gehahahahah, geehhehet ohohohoff! Gehehehhet ohohohoff my fohohohohoht! Ahehahhahha!”

“Hmm? Whatcha say? I can’t understand you- try speaking up.” Yuki grinned as he carried on scribbling into the redhead’s foot, watching him slowly crumble to the floor before him. “What’s wrong? Cat got your tongue?”

“Screhehehehhw yohohohou! Aheahhaha-AH!” His body jerked, sending him flat on his back. With nothing to hold him up, he just kinda flopped against the floor mats as his foot was relentlessly tickled. “FUUHUHUCK!” He was gonna die- this was the end of Kyo Sohma, the cursed cat. His feet weren’t even that ticklish- what the hell-

“Heh.” Yuki let out a small snort.

Nevermind. Death was overrated.

Kyo felt his temper spike at that small noise. Putting in all his strength, he yanked his foot harshly towards himself, knocking the rat off balance. With the tickles briefly paused, Kyo took his chance to shoot up and grab his arm, pulling him down beside him. “Gohohotcha, you jeeherk!”

“Sh-” Yuki didn’t get a chance to swear, squeezing his mouth shut the second Kyo’s hand latched onto his lower ribs. He gripped his wrist, eyes squeezed shut and lips twitching as he tried to scoot to safety.

“What’s wrong? Cat got your tongue, rat boy?” Kyo growled down at him, quickly throwing himself across his hips so Yuki couldn’t escape. Moving up to his middle set of ribs finally got the laughs he was looking for. “That’s right- you better laugh for me!”

“Shuuhuhuhush! Geheha-freehhahahaking cahhahat, gehehhet!” Yuki yelped out through his giggles, pulling at Kyo’s hands as they walked up his ribs. “Waahahit, wahahhait hahahang ohoohohn!”

“Wow, you’re pretty ticklish, aren’t you?” Kyo’s delight was mixed with a touch of awe, grinning like a cheshire cat as he tapped along Yuki’s highest ribs. The pale haired boy yelped through his giggles, squeezing his arms tightly against his sides as his breathy laughter increased. “Oo, is this a bad spot? Or is it…”

Kyo dragged it out, ready to burrow his hands into Yuki’s armpits and see just how bad they were. Yuki seemed to realize what was about to happen and reacted accordingly.

“Eh! Ehehehahaha, nohohoh wahahahy! Hohohold ohoohhn!” The redhead yelped hands grabbed his waist, squeezing rapidly and making him retract. “Dahahhahamn it! Gehahahahaha!”

“Theehere..now gehhet ohohohoff!” Yuki huffed through his giggles, sitting up and following Kyo down as he carried on his attack. “Now, if I were to guess where you’d be most ticklish…”

“Dehahahahahahahhahahaha! Gehahahaha-AH! YUHUUHUHKI!” Kyo squawked when fingers dug into his belly, torn between arching away from the floor and curling up. He settled for a sort of flailing gesture. “DOHOHOHON’T NOHOHOHOT THEHEHEHEHRE!”

“Why not? This spot seems to be pretty bad, no?” Now composed, Yuki pulled himself to his knees, scooting after the other’s thrashing form as he carried on tickling. “I think I’m starting to understand why cats don’t like belly rubs.”

“SHUHUUHUHT THE HEHEHELL UHUHUHP! AHEHAHAHHA!” Once again, Kyo found himself on death’s door- knocking away to the tune of that one show Tohru and Momiji liked. He was sure he was gonna survive this time. “DAHHAHAMN RAHHAHAHT! CUHUHUUHT IT OHOHOOUT!”

“Hmm…alright.” Yuki yielded, pulling his hands back as he watched Kyo collapse, gasping for air. He was laughing- Kyo could hear him fighting down the snickers behind his hand. “You look so mad. Like that one cat on the internet.”

“You did not just compare me to Grumpy Cat!” Kyo twisted around to glare, but the look only made Yuki laugh harder. Any immediate annoyance he began to feel faded rather quickly at the sight, leaving Kyo fighting down his own laughs. “I hate you so much right now.”

“Hate you too.” Yuki grinned at him, no malice in his words. A comfortable silence fell between them as Kyo spread out on his side, slowly recovering. In his vision, he found Yuki’s socked foot.

Curious, he reached out and gave the sole a scribble.

“AH!” Yuki squeaked. Squeaked! A proper mouse squeak too! Kyo gaped as he looked at him, watching Yuki’s face burn. “Don’t you dare..”

“Oi, Rat.” Kyo grabbed his ankle, eyes gleaming as Yuki shrank away. “I always dare.”

Thanks for reading!

[mybrokenveins3000]

Hey I just read all of your college Ross pieces and I love them!!

What about one night if reader goes out and ends up too drunk and calls Ross so he comes to pick her up and takes her home. Maybe she's trying to talk about her feelings for him but he doesn't want her saying anything she'll be embarrassed by. Or she asks him to stay the night so he sleeps on her floor

A/N: Oh. My. God.

FIRST AND FOREMOST, thank you for the love and for readingg <3 It really means the world to me. SECOND OF ALL... ANON... YOUR BRAIN IS SO LARGE. I am going to PASS OUT. Thank you for this request, my heart might just burst. I might have gone over board, this is the longest thing I've written thus far. Anyways, here goes nothing... enjoy ;)

Drunk Call - College!Ross Macdonald

word count: 1.5k

♫ Heavenly - Pale Waves

This party is excessive and headache-inducing - the music is bad, the people even worse. You don't even know why you're here. When your flatmates asked "why that party?", you simply replied, "just for something to do".

You're slumped down by the foot of the couch, tangled between legs, empty bottles, empty cups. No matter how much you hammer at the side of your phone, all that blinks back is a fat 0%.

The liquor is not sitting right in your stomach, you're not in the mood, and each thrum of bass reminds you of him.

You haven't seen Ross for what feels like forever. He had gone back to his hometown for the week whilst you stayed in the city. There was something noticeably different about the setting without him, the lights felt dimmer, the air felt colder.

You were conscious not to disrupt his week at home, spending so many nights staring at an untouched keyboard. Oh, the amount of text messages you thought up but never sent.

But you knew he would be back today, which was your main source of hope in this tragic, alcohol-punctuated moment.

Without a second thought, you pull at a semi-familiar friend's trouser leg and ask if you can borrow their phone. After a reluctant "yes", you're punching a familiar number onto the screen, then the bright and inviting call button.

The phone buzzes softly in your hand as you lift it to your ear.

Pick up pick up pick up pick up--

"Hello, this is Ross speaking."

You relax at the sound of his voice. You were beyond the border of missing him.

"Hello!!" you exclaim, loud enough to hear yourself over the music - which is to say deafening from his side of the line.

"Whoa," it's like you can hear him wincing, "is that who I think it is?"

"Mhmmm"

"Where are you? Are you okay?" You selfishly smile at the twinge of panic in his voice as he registers the state you're in.

"My phone... it died... This is the only number I know," you gulp, "off by heart."

He's speechless, already devising a plan to save you. If only you could see him now, a blushing mess, half worried, half desperately in love.

"Are you busy?" you add before he can react to the former statement.

"Uhh no, just finished practice. Where are you?"

"Oh, practice... GUYS, I'M ON THE PHONE WITH A ROCKSTAR!!" you announce with such pride to a room full of strangers and acquaintances, once again almost deafening him on the other side of the line. And yet he's hanging onto every word, even if it hurts him.

"Okay, I'm coming to get you," he laughs, "don't worry, I think I know where you are."

"My hero!" you tease, "but please come soon, the music is so bad and I miss you, Ross, I FUCKING MISS YOU--"

You accidentally hang up.

---

Not two minutes later, you see a familiar, flushed face enter the room. Did he run here?

The scene is hazy and fragmented, but you could recognise the space he takes up in any room, even in this state. Ross towers over the crowd, a vision in black denim, searching over moving heads and smoke. Then he locks eyes with you.

You wave at him, still sitting on the floor by the couch. He seems to sigh in relief, hand on his heart.

You spring up as he approaches, unaware of the bottles and cups you've knocked over. He takes you in - you, slightly unravelled but the same as ever. Still beautiful as ever.

"ROCKSTAR!" you cry as you flop into him, catching his eyes crinkling at the name. And you're back in his arms, so inviting, not so dissimilar to the comfort of home. "How did you know I was here?!" you beam at him.

"Matty mentioned it. He wasn't invited," he laughs.

"Lucky him."

You stand there in the middle of the room holding each other for a while, both revelling in how much you've missed each other. For a second, it's warm and quiet. If it took one long week and a bad party to experience this, you think, then it was all worth it.

Suddenly, the song changes to a particularly insufferable one. You both groan like you're one body, one mind.

"Let's go?" he says.

"Let's go."

---

You dance in and out of streetlights down the path to your accommodation, humming one of his band's songs, one from the night of the gig. Ross's walking right beside you, arms at the ready in case you fall or turn where you're not supposed to. Even as you stumble, he gazes at you with amazement at how beautiful you look without even trying.

"What was that thing?" you blurt out.

"What thing?" he hums in response, his alertness veiled by a sense of calm, eyes still glazed with wonder.

"You know, that thing you said when we first met? I'm someone you want to keep, was it?"

"I don't know what you're talking about. I never said that." he teases, his playful grin giving away his lies.

You throw your arms out and scream into the night, "I'M SOMEONE YOU WANT TO KEEEEEEP!!"

He laughs awkwardly, eyes widening at your sudden outburst. But he adores you. In this moment, that's his only truth.

"Ah, okay, let's take a break"

He settles you down onto a nearby bench. You take in a deep breath of fresh air which turns into a yawn.

Your head starts to droop, but he quickly rests it on his shoulder as he lowers down to sit next to you. Always ready to take care of you, to save you when you let him.

"So suave, so so nice, so nice" you mumble drowsily, half to him, half to yourself.

"What was that?"

"You're so nice... And so good-looking," you can't stop your mouth from moving, "I really like being around you and I missed you so much, but I don't know if you felt the same!! But you're so nice, sometimes I just want to--"

"Okay, okay, that's enough," he slithers his arm around your waist and hoists you back up onto your feet before you say something you'll regret.

But he's unable to bite back a smile. In another world, he would let you speak, but he knows you and knows better than to let you talk yourself into a hole you can't escape.

Not yet, he thinks, not like this.

"Hey! You could compliment me, you know," you nag as you start walking again.

There's a pause as he really considers his response.

"...you know you're gorgeous, right?" he finally sighs, breath visible in the crisp night air, "besides, everything I'd say, I'd want you to remember."

---

He gently lays you down in your bed, but you can't seem to let go of him.

"I don't want you to go", you whine, "won't you stay?"

"For how long?"

"Stay forever."

His eyes soften as he looks down at you, your arms still clasped around his neck. Only you have the power to render him speechless like this. It's so easy for you to get what you want.

You let go of him, aggressively patting the empty side of the bed.

"Call me old-fashioned, but I don't share beds with drunk girls," he says. He takes a stray pillow and blanket, and plonks them onto the floor beside you so he can monitor you as you sleep. By this point, you've already passed out.

---

Ross can't sleep. He doesn't mind the floor, but stirs at every sound and movement you make, constantly checking if you're okay.

Throughout the night, he finds himself looking at the details of your room, at books, concert tickets, and photos of friends and family - pieces of you that he wants to know more about.

He watches you, so peaceful, in awe how he has someone like you in his life.

My life would be so boring without you, he thinks.

---

You wake up just as he walks into the room with a cup of tea. He sets the cup down by the bedside table with a soft smile. The air of domesticity is something you could live in forever.

"Hi," you mumble through fluttering eyelids, filtering the Sunday morning sun.

"Hi. Are you doing okay?"

You nod as you sit up. He sits on the bed, brushing the stray hairs from your face, the warmth of his hand like a healing force. You can't tell he hadn't slept because of how happy he looks just to be there.

You reach over for the tea with the comfort of knowing he made it just how you like it.

"I didn't say anything weird, did I?" you croak, sipping the tea.

"No, not at all," he replies.

There's a moment of silence. The morning birds fly past the window, the steam of the mugs mists your eyes.

"I missed you too, you know," he finally says, "I missed you so much."

A/N: Didn't proofread this but HOPE YOU ENJOYED. I'll probably edit it a bit when I come back, but I wanted you to have this sooner rather than later, anon. THANKS FOR YOUR REQUEST AGAINNNN

[phanfictioncatalogue]

Fics Written in 2020 (2) Masterlist

part one

a different side of me (ao3) - dizzy

Summary: Dan's early 2010 struggle with his home life, his future, and how Phil fits into everything.

A whale of a time - (ao3) - lazyphannie

Summary: Dan's horny and Phil's still sleeping.

Advent Calendar 2020 (ao3) - Phantje

Summary: Dan is a single father to his son Mes. When Mes does not go to Dan's best friend Meggie's nursery, he tags along to Dan's photography studio. With Mes, the studio, and his film-review-blog, Dan is certainly busy, and yet finds time to be a little lonely - he is skilled like that. Dan's life seems to suddenly start spinning when he rescues a client from a malicious photo booth.

Phil is the co-founder of the IRL store, but wants to start working to meet new people and to fill his days. That has nothing to do whatsoever with him pining after the mysterious blogger, and he isn't even really all that lonely, actually.

Phil starts working at a nursery, makes a new friend, and gets more than he bargained for in falling in love with the photographer.

All Signs Point to Us (ao3) - RyRyCaptain

Summary: When the queen and king gives birth to Daniel, they soon learn that their son is deaf. In order to let Dan express his opinions to those who haven't learned sign language, they find him a translator who happens to be the son of the King’s advisor, Phil. Soon enough, Phil starts to realize thAt he fallen in love with the younger boy.

All We Seem to Do Is Talk About Sex (ao3) - truerequitedlove

Summary: In which Dan’s got a boyfriend and a tongue piercing, and Phil’s got a weed hookup and an anxiety disorder. In high school, they were labeled “bad influences on each other,” maybe that would never go away.

Arrangements (ao3) - intoapuddle

Summary: One night stands have worn out their welcome, but Dan isn't ready for a relationship. Thankfully, other arrangements can be made.

attachment (ao3) - dnovep

Summary: Harlow’s monkey experiments, love, & Phil wrapping Dan in blankets.

baby can't you see? (i'm calling) (ao3) - danfanciesphil (thejigsawtimess)

Summary: Two years after Dan's ill-advised stint up a mountain, and Phil's escape from a Royal psychopath, their dramatic flying off into the horizon hasn't had such a steady landing. Phil is consumed by his new venture in giving back to the world, but Dan is receiving none of this graciousness. Their living situation remains unstable, and they're barely in the same room long enough to hold hands.

It's all about to break apart, when the pandemic hits them where it hurts. Once again, Dan and Phil find themselves thrown into isolation with one another, back up where it all began. The memories of The Secret of the Alps are both fond and traumatic; being there again, trapped and in a bitter feud, is worryingly familiar. Can they make it out together a second time around? Or is this cycle doomed to repeat itself forever, until one of them calls it quits?

(TW) Break Me (ao3) - MySecretsX

Summary: In this world, you're marked with black. That's if you have a soulmate at least. Everyone is destined to cross paths with the one who is meant for them, at least once in their lives.

When you and your soulmate meet, you will touch, if only briefly, and the exact area of skin you touch with the other turns from black to white, with streaks of blue, purple, yellow, all marbled in with each other.

Daniel Howell is well-known in town. People cross the street if they're approaching him and newcomers to the neighbourhood are warned about his presence. Exactly like the Lester's were. But Phil Lester has other ideas, he saw the pain within the boy, how bad can he really be?

chaos in bloom (ao3) - vvelna

Summary: The adventures of Dan and Phyl, ghost removal experts.

closer than before (ao3) - graydar

Summary: Maybe he’ll just take this one chance. It might be fun, might be something to do, might be more than that. He’s fine with not knowing. All anyone is doing right now is not knowing. It’s the new trend.

Cold, Empty Mattresses and Falling Stars (ao3) - conshellation

Summary: 2009 au where phil and his family own a campground/cabins in an area that is known for stargazing and phil has lived his entire life there, therefore knowing a lot about stars. dan and his family come from the city to said campground because dan is a nerd and asked to come there for his birthday.

Covet (ao3) - americanphancakes

Summary: The only thing making Dan feel alive is his all-consuming crush on the new deacon.

Crossing the line (ao3) - dakogutin

Summary: After billionaire Phil Lester meets an unfortunate incident that ends him up in hospital with no memories, Dan Howell— a mistreated employee convinces Phil that he is Dan's working-class husband to get back at him with the many hardships he faced as an employee. What could go wrong?

Dead! (ao3) - orphan_account

Summary: Phil is a zombie living in the abandoned Luton airport, Dan is a human survivor. Bound together by the fear of what hides in the dark, they choose not to kill each other, and begin the long journey to Manchester and (hopefully) to new colonies

doppelt. (ao3) - schnaf

Summary: The big wheel in Manchester. The big wheel in another Manchester. Phil's disappearance. Finding Phil - twice. Dealing with Doppelgängers. That's not exactly what Dan expected from their first meeting. But in the end, being with Phil is all that matters.

for the first time in such a long time (I know I'll be okay) (ao3) - possumdnp

Summary: Three conversations in Phil’s bedroom in 2009.

grind to the rhythm (as we wine and dine) (ao3) - kishere

Summary: God, everyone was going to think him a harlot, Phil thought as they walked out of the maze in silence. Being left alone with an alpha he wasn’t mated to was cause for gossip.

Hot As Hell (ao3) - Spring_Haze

Summary: Dan and Phil take advantage of a few minutes of unexpected privacy while in a dry sauna. Phil can't resist his boyfriend on account of his well-established sweat kink.

I Will Be Loving You (ao3) - phantasticworks (steddieworks)

Summary: Dan and Phil spend their first Valentine's Day out of the closet.

it's a church of burnt romances (ao3) - phanetixs

Summary: Dan backs into the car and the driver asks where he’s heading. His head swims with thoughts of Phil, and of guilt and embarrassment at how he’s subconsciously treating his friend. Whose life centres around virtues like chastity. And non-objectification goes both ways. Dan takes a few deep breaths, pressing a palm to his insistent bulge to quell his arousal. As always, it doesn’t work.

Well, he resolves, if he can’t get Phil out of his head, he’s got to get someone else into it. Or onto him, preferably.

Or, a Fleabag AU.

Lonely in Conflict, Cast as a Convict (ao3) - andthenshesaid-write (ladyknight1512)

Summary: Dan is a vampire who can’t remember how it feels not to be lonely. Phil is a vampire hunter living in his brother’s shadow.

When they meet, they find acceptance in each other that they don’t find anywhere else, but there are secrets and other forces at play trying to keep them apart.

married at first sight (ao3) - nothingbutniall

Summary: Dan and Phil get matched together on the new season of Married At First Sight.

Midnight Garden (ao3) - silentdescant

Summary: In which Phil is a gardener at the palace and Dan is a reclusive prince.

Mirror Mirror (ao3) - dont-tell-them-i-write-phan (QueenJunoTheGreat)

Summary: Dan and Phil get invited to stay at a historical castle with Martyn and Cornelia. Contrariwise, Daniel and Philip aren’t invited anywhere, but not many people can say no to a highly trained thief and a dragon. But that’s totally unrelated

My Spirit Love (ao3) - MySecretsX

Summary: If you fall in love with a spirit who drains you both away, do you live together for twenty years, or stay alone each day?

Phil has lived in his house since he was born, but it was when he turned seven he met Dan for the first time. It's all childish games and the muse of a naïve brain until your fifteen-year-old son claims to have fallen in love with the boy you've never seen.

Is anything possible for love?

oh you got me shaking (ao3) - chickenfree

Summary: Usually if the models talk to him, it’s just – them asking questions, Phil joking about how he doesn’t really know what he’s doing, even as he directs them.

They don’t try to argue with him, usually.

One Thousand Midnights or More (ao3) - JudeAraya

Summary: A decade of love told in moments.

Our House (ao3) - sierraadeux

Summary: Enemy is a harsh word. Rival sounds so immature, like Dan’s the star of some teen drama on Netflix. Competition is close, but not quite there.

In simple terms, Dan has a distaste for Phil Lester. Otherwise known as AmazingPhil in their line of business, for some reason that’s beyond Dan. What makes him so amazing anyway?

There’s a reason the network wanted Daniel Howell and Phil Lester for this specific series, and Dan guesses there’s really only one way to find out that answer.

or

And they were co-hosts. Oh my god they were co-hosts.

pastry chef attempts to steal phil's heart (ao3) - sierraadeux

Summary: If anyone asks, Prince Philip's sneaky morning journeys down to the royal pastry kitchen are for nothing more than the perfect cup of coffee.

The Secluded Glade (ao3) - palomeheart

Summary: Phil Lester has always been acutely aware of the ways he and his daemon Adra are different from others. Namely that Adra is male, hasn’t settled yet, and they share second sight that causes them to have dreams that show them glimpses of the future. Now, as a consequence of one of his prophetic dreams, he’s forced to go on a rescue mission to find a group of children that have gone missing from his town. He may have signed up for more than he bargained for, however, when they find another man who’s been captured with some differences of his own.

The Wanting Comes In Waves (ao3) - orphan_account

Summary: After moving to the tiny Welsh coastal village of Rhagfyr, Phil struggles to find a new way of living, what with his new school and the decision of his future still on the table. Dan is a riddle, wrapped in a mystery, inside an enigma, but perhaps there’s beauty inside destruction.

they grew up so nicely, didn't they? (ao3) - natigail

Summary: Cornelia doesn’t just get a boyfriend when she starts dating Martyn, she gets a whole second family too. Kath and Nigel welcome her with open arms and she becomes a pseudo older sister to Phil.

She is there watching from the sidelines as a boy bolts right into Phil’s heart and sets up camp. She gets to watch as Dan and Phil build careers and an internet community and all the trials and tribulations, as well as the pride and happiness, it brings along.

When the Weather Breaks (ao3) - sierraadeux

Summary: Sitting across from Phil on that worn out velvet Starbucks sofa, sharing sickeningly sweet coffees and what they would like to think were hushed giggles, was the first time Dan felt a glimpse at what real love could feel like.

or

Perception checks, pining, and peppermint mochas.

with a bullet (ao3) - waveydnp

Summary: phil returns to his room after a party thrown by his housemates only to discover that there’s already someone in his bed

[somethingblu3]

Birthday Song | Luke Davenport (Part 1)

Read on Ao3 Here.

18+ minors dni.

Masterlist

Fandom: Dream Team

Summary:

Luke needs his nightly eye drops especially on his birthday but he can't stand him. He knows there's only one way you could give him comfort.

TW: Eye drops, grumpy Luke davenport, hurt/comfort, birthday, fluffy, medicine, birthday fic, restrained, fussy Luke, established relationship, cuddling & snuggling, medicine, rejection, anxiety, angst and feels.

Pairing: Luke Davenport x Female Reader.

Word Count: 2,332 Words

Note:

Finally a late post to Tumblr! also gonna remind you guys of my fics for Gaza post. Part 2 will include smut.

"Luke. Hold Still,"  You order through gritted teeth. You towered over him as your hand gripped the white bottle of eye drops.

At least he was complying  somewhat this time; he was still kicking and screaming, of course, but it wasn't as bad as the other night that night, which made you lose countless hours of sleep. 

This was the closest you had ever gotten the medication to his eyes. Luke was bigger than you, of course, and meatier, too. He could easily force you into a chokehold if his arms were free, but they weren't. You had haphazardly tied them to the headboard with his sweatband. He had some wiggle room, but certainly not enough to break free, at least not as easily as you had hoped.

"Come on, Luke, stop being such a big baby. I know you hate it, but I don't know. Remember what will happen if you lose your sight for good?" You didn't want to taunt him, but you needed to shake him up a little—not striking the fear of God into him ultimately, but enough for him to want and need to take the medicine in the first place.

"I know, I know, Love...it's just my birthday", he sighs as he stops his wrists from fighting against the blue sweaty restraints. "I just thought I'd have a day off. That I could be 'normal' again, back to the way things were before my bloody sight-"

You sigh as you set the bottle on the bed and cup his cheek "Luke, Honey. You were born with this condition. Your father had it, too...it was inevitable. You can't change how it was written or meant to be."

Luke gives you a small nod in return. "I know...I just thought you'd let me off. It's my birthday. I'm not going to be this young and handsome forever," he tells you, which makes you shake your head and chuckle.

"Luke-"

"But I'm not! I'm already ageing. I've seen signs, Sweetheart. Don't tell me you haven't seen my grey while we've been showering and how slow I've been getting during practice. My back pain, my tiredness-"

"Luke", You cut him off. "You're not even in your 30s yet. Relax, love," you tell him as you move the stands of his hair out of his eyes like you always did. His hair had always been so untamed you didn't understand how he could see a single thing or even kick the ball with his hair in a way like that. Some days, you wanted to get out a pair of succours and cut it for him, but with his sensory issues, you knew that would be another tantrum in the making.

"It's only two drops, Sweetheart. It'll only take a couple of seconds. Your vision might be blurry, and your head might hurt," you remind him as you stroke his arm, but he jerks it away. But then you'll be back to normal. We can cuddle and watch some Match Of The Day if you'd like," you suggest in a smooth tone.

Luke sighs as he scrunches his brows. "But that's exactly the problem! The burning as well as the itching from the dryness of my headaches afterwards! you know how bad they are! it takes hours to recover. Love. I can't do this every night or for the rest of my life. You should be living your best life out there, not looking after me. I'm so hopeless I can't even bear to be in the same room as a flashing camera," he groans. You knew if he was free from his restraints, he would be covering his face with his hands weeping .

Poor Luke.

Ever since you'd met him before you started dating, he was a sensitive soul. Sometimes, he'd crack over nothing and lose his temper if what he wanted wasn't going his way. You had learned to deal with this over the years, even if it made the two of you part ways occasionally.

"Is there something? anything I can do to help you through this?" you ask.

You weren't willing to loosen the restraints—at least not now—but there had to be something—anything you could do to ease the pain of the drops.

Luke lets out a breath he didn't even know he was holding "Not unless you could somehow convince the Doctors not to give me this shit-" he grumbles.

"Luke, you know I can't do that. Even with all the money in the world-"

"I know" Luke nods as he sulks, slouching into the bed. "I was just saying, you know what? never mind-"

He's quiet for a while as he looks away from the distance.

"There is something you could do-" As he tells you this, your eyes fall to his plump, kissable lips. He was such a damn distraction. How did he look like that? So drop-dead gorgeous and handsome all the time? while you always looked like a mess? Although he'd tell you the opposite, sometimes, you couldn't help but wonder if Luke was just trying to be nice . What would a guy like him do? Luke Davenport want with a girl like you? You were so out of his league. 

He purses his lips "Your voice-" he says "It soothes me"

You frown as you inch closer "Soothes you?"

He nods hesitantly, not wanting to offend. "Yes, I love hearing it. I don't know what it is, but it calms me down," he says sincerely. It's the first serious moment you've had with Luke for a while between all of the tantrums and hassle of trying to get him to take the damn medication.

"So what do you want me to do? Read you a story?" you suggest, which makes him shake his head and scoff in response.

"No, no, I'm not a child," he warns, and then he pauses. "But... could you sing me a song?" he asks as he brushes his legs against yours.

Cheeky.

"A song? Luke, I can't sing. I sound like Rebecca Black. I'm so whiney," You groan as you throw a pillow at him.

"Hey, hey! No, you're way better than her," he chuckles, shaking his head. "I've heard you in the shower, babe. You're gonna be like the next Kelly Clarkson," he swears as he tries to dodge the pillow.

You roll your eyes as you lean forward, staring into his deep sapphire eyes, forgetting about the small white bottle of eye drops almost entirely. "Kelly Clarkson, huh?" you taunt as you lick your lips.

"Yeah...her", he nods, but you know he's not paying any attention as he swallows hard.

"So what do you want me to sing?" you ask as you run a hand over his thigh.

Luke gasps, surprised by the unexpected electric touch. "Anything—anything," he begs. He's whining like a child. He always went into a childlike state when he begged for whatever it was he wanted, and all he wanted was to hear your voice to calm him as you forced the eye drops into him.

"How about a happy birthday? since it's my birthday after all?" he shrugs lightly, moving the restraints

You nod, considering it. "And you promise you'll take the drops?" you ask.

He flinches as you open the cap. His heart beats a steady rhythm in his eardrums, and you watch as his lips part. Even with the promise of a sweet song, almost a lullaby, he was still nervous about the side effects of the drops. He swore his eyes were dry already, but perhaps that was because of the fear of what was to come. He knew the first thing he would feel would be sitting almost instantly each time. It was even more uncomfortable than the last.

"I promise, " Luke nods. He watches you as you reach out your hand. At first, he wonders if you are going to free him, but he quickly doubts it as soon as you grab the full cup of water from the nightstand instead.

"I think you're the one who needs to freshen up your pipes, aren't you, love?" He asks with a small smile as you force the drink down his throat. After he's finished, he licks his lips and takes a moment to close his eyes and blink like it's his last time.

"Alright, love", he nods determinedly.

He couldn't believe that this was something he had to do now for the rest of your life. Or, as you said, it was written in the stars.

He was sick, and he needed medicine, especially if he wanted to get better and keep his number 11 position on the team.

Luke had to do this for him, for you. Surely, he could face a couple of eye drops, especially if he always got tackled every night on the pitch. Couldn't he?

Luke took a finally shaky breath, but there were no eye drops to follow. Instead, you leaned closer. You reached forward, cupping his cheek, and you began to sing slowly. He didn't know why, but he didn't expect you to actually do it—to follow through to sing the song.

Were you doing it just because it was his birthday?

or because you generally loved him?

Either way, Luke was blown away by how much you cared about him. He wasn't Luke Davenport, the famous football player in your eyes.

He was just Luke.

Lucas.

That was all he was to you. Just a simple boy with a heart too big for his chest that grew to size every time he saw you. The boy, that was messy and complicated, needed help every now and then, even if it was just for some damn eye drops. He needed someone in his life to have and to hold.

And then, sitting there in the bed, Luke realised something: that person was you.

"Happy birthday to you—" Your lips brushed against his skin ever so delicately. He could have reached out and touched, brushed his plump ones against your own. Instead, he didn't. With much restraint, he held himself back from locking his with yours and from battling your tongue with his overdominance.

It felt like the slowest moment in existence as you removed the bottle cap, but your patience, at least on the surface, was unwavering. With your free hand, you traced his face delicately, making delicate little circles that made him melt. It was so tempting to draw his eyes close, but he didn't. He kept them sharp and open just for you, just for his love.

"Happy birthday, dear Lucas-" And just like that, as you uttered his name's final 'S', you delicately dropped the medicine in just as much as you could, even with him flinching.

"Happy birthday to you...."

He thought he ruined it. He thought he'd blinked his eyes and then made a mess of it all, but instead, you patted him on his shoulder, which was still tied up by the restraints, and you gave him a small kiss on the cheek. 

"All done. Good job," you tell Luke.

Luke smiles. That was it?

He knew the side effects would kick in soon, especially the dizziness, once you were both finished. He watched as you put the drops away while he blinked like crazy, and then you finally freed him. His wrists ached as he flung the sweatbands across the room, and you instantly hugged him.

"I need to hear your voice again, love. I need to hear more," he tells you in a sleepy, drowsy state as he lies on your lap.

You instantly reach for the remote and begin flicking through to find the sports channel, but they all make Luke's head pound as you flicker behind the channels—the changing description every two seconds, the small text, and the flashing images. His head was hot like it was seconds away from exploding.

"My voice is nothing special," you say as you comb through his hair with your angelic touch.

"Nonsense", Luke tells you firmly. He would look at you into your eyes at that moment if it wasn't for the headache about to set in, and if anything, the TV screen was making it worse. He knew from the medication that he couldn't close his eyes entirely, so instead of heading in your lap, he just focused on the ground.

"I need to hear your voice, sweetheart," he calls out like a prayer, a desperate plea.

you sigh as you give in. "Do you really want me to sing Happy Birthday again?" you ask with a frown.

"Yes," he nods instantly.

You sigh as you relax your shoulders. "Alright then," you tell him, and then an instant smirk appears across his lips.

"It is my birthday, after all, and I can have anything I want", he teases.

"And what you want is to hear me sing happy birthday over and over again? Have you lost your mind?" you tease, making him stifle a laugh.

"Yes- there's nothing wrong with your voice love you'd make it I'm serious"

"Yeah, maybe with your money", you tease him, having heard all the rumours.

"Oh, don't listen to them, love," he says, knowing he's read the same articles as you. "They have no idea who we are or what we're capable of," he tells you as he interlocks his fingers with yours and kisses your knuckles.

"So...you want me to sing Happy Birthday again? Is that really your birthday wish?" you ask, hoping it won't be.

"Do I only get one gift on this special day?" he teases as you nod.

"Yes, of course, you spoiled boy. Didn't your mother get you brand new Calvin Klein?" You ask him, and he nods defeatedly 

"Yes, she did, and I'm grateful I never ask for any of that stuff..." he sighs. 

"I know love...well. Should I start now?" 

"Preferably" he smiles softly.

[weswhoreland]

Heavy Glow Snippet

A very short snippet of what I've been working on lately. It's a prologue of sorts, for the fic I'm tentatively calling Heavy Glow. Hopefully you guys enjoy it! Thank you for all the engagement and for sticking around even though I haven't written in months. This has been so fun to work on, and I'm hoping I can whip out some Wes x readers for you guys soon too. I'm really hoping I've finally conquered this Writers Block, and this gives me hope.

yes, this is a very self indulgent Wes x OC fic. Sue me. I'm having fun.

Ship: Wes Borland x Original Male Character || Rating: G || Words: 536

It’s a terrible idea.

Daniel Kincaid knows this from the moment he sees the promos for the show. He knows it as soon as he buys a ticket. And he knows it the second he steps into the venue. Really, this fact is something he’s known for the last decade; that this is all one big, horrible idea. A mistake waiting to happen. Something he can’t win, that will only get him hurt.

And yet, here Danny is, out on the floor of this venue. He’s two drinks in – a Vodka Red Bull to wake him up, and an Ultra to calm him down. So far, it hasn’t worked. He’s been nervous and jittery all night. The openers were a good distraction, decent bands that he’s never heard of, but enjoyable nonetheless. But the closer it grows to the main set, the more Danny’s anxiety mounts.

What if he doesn’t remember him? It’s possible, Danny knows. It’s been a long time since they’ve seen each other in person, and Danny’s… well, different. Much different from the last time they were together. And as well as they’d known each other in the past, that’s what it is. The past. It’s been ten years. A long fucking time, in the grand scheme of things. A long time for them to grow apart, to change. There’s every chance he won’t remember Danny, and every chance that even if he does, they’re just too different from who they used to be. And if that’s the case…

Well, Danny isn’t really sure what he’ll do. He takes another sip of his drink, letting himself get lost in his own thoughts. The truth is a hard thing to swallow. 

He’s still stuck on that fact when the lights finally dim. The crowd cheers, a swell of anticipation washing over the room. And it’s there, between the heavy glow of the lights above and the moment they fade away, that Danny feels like he can’t breathe.

He could leave. He could turn tail and run, slip out the door and be out of this forever. He could go back to his normal life, the one he’s been living for the last decade, and pretend none of this ever happened. It would be so easy. He could just–

And then Danny sees him.

Wes looks good. Older. His hair’s longer, a little unkempt. But even with the slight differences, with all the years that have changed both of them, he’s still Wes.

Danny holds his breath.

The band – Black Light Burns – launches into their first song. It’s one Danny’s heard briefly before. Mesopotamia. It’s energetic, and Wes is just as good on stage as he always was, prowling around as he sings. Danny stares, can’t take his eyes off him. And suddenly it’s 1997 again. Danny’s nineteen, and he’s in love with the man he met at the record store. It’s 1997, before all the fame and the money, before the obligations and commitments. It’s 1997, and all that matters is the two of them.

And I’d give it all up just to be with you.

It’s been ten years since Danny met Wes Borland. And tonight, he just might talk to him again.

[space-blue]

Fic authors self rec! When you get this, reply with your favorite five fics that you've written, then pass on to at least five other writers. Let’s spread the self-love 💗

Hey, hi anon!! Thanks a lot for this, I enjoy gushing as much as any fic writer :3

#1 and closests to my heart, is Fathers and Daughters

You can tell I was mentally ill about it, because I'm forever struggling to finish WIPs, the ADHD constantly going "Oooh shiny new idea? Just take a break, this will be a one shot" only to lie to me, or do it X times in a row. But not with F&D. I stayed glued on to that one.

Yeah I had a couple long hiatus, but I'm finally working on the last chapter and I can tell you I'm going to be taking myself out to dinner to congratulate lol

I passed 100k words!!! I never thought I'd manage. I don't think I'll ever manage again!

#2 Then the dreadful night shall break

A Dark!Obi-Wan fic. I had for a long time this back and forth with a friend, where we kept gifting each other more and more tortured Star Wars fics. So I originally made this a one shot focusing on the horrors of sleep deprivation (from first hand experience…) and how it might break even the kindest of Jedi.

Things snowballed and got out of hand, and it turned into what I think is my best Star Wars story. It's also titled after a line in Cradle Song by William Blake. I am weirdly obsessed with naming fics from his poems. Only him. IDK why.

#3 Never Too Late

Another SW story but on the other end of the spectrum, focusing on H/C. Set right after Episode 1, with Obi-Wan reaching out to Dooku, who hasn't turned to the dark yet. It's my second most kudoed fic ever after the 100k words one, so you know I was cooking and people liked the taste of it.

In general I love writing reluctant father figures, and Dooku - Obi - Anakin, at that time and place, are like the holy trifecta of reluctant daddies lol

#4 For Always

My Elden Ring masterpiece and foray into Monsterfucking. I was very sauced for "pubber" Maliketh the Black Blade, even before I played the game. I owe a lot to my friend Spiced for this one--without them there wouldn't be much fucking in this fic! I just like tragic hee-heem-whimper men and Maliketh is that but also with a broken mind, rags, a raspy voice, and paws large enough to make a doll out of us sooooooooooo…..

The irony is that this story has some of my most purple and stuffy prose, despite how horny I make it out to be. I really enjoyed this writing style.

Would you stay with him, henceforth? Would you cast away your humanity, sacrifice your mortality to give him companionship? Would you twine your fate to his? How you'd laughed, naive little thing, telling him that it was no sacrifice. You hadn't known better then, and he, a god, knew even less. He kissed you and licked at your throat. He felt you shiver and asked once more if you truly wanted this. You wanted him and immortality at his side seemed close enough. So you said yes, and he clamped his jaws down on your throat and killed you—one last time.

The sauce stings my eyes to this day. This is the good shit. I wish I could brainrot on characters like this at will.

#5....

This one is impossible to pin down. I have stories where I'm really proud of the writing. Stories where, like the one above, I still really taste the sauce, and the dynamic really appeals to me. Got plenty like that which would easily fit in 5th place. I could also mention the ones I still have very much on the fire, simmering even if they haven't updated in a while.

Fuck it. I'll go for Chosen.

A one shot I wrote while in Florence, often sitting out on a little balcony… It was such a nice place and such a sweet time… And I packed the story with these (bitter) sweet feelings and tried to explore what would happen with Anakin died killing Grievous, leaving Obi-Wan lost, and Ahsoka fearing nobody will chose to take her on again.

It also has some of my favourite prose ever, in the way I wrote (for the second and better time) the backstory of major blorbo Taron Malicos. Nobody ever cares about this bit but I think it's the best part of the fic LOL

Thanks again anon! I'm spreading the love now in my mooties' ask box.

[writtengalaxies]

A Confession At Knife-point

Cup God Chronicles :: Part 4

Characters: God of Night, GN!Reader

Word Count: 730

Spicy Rating: Our dear reader has a foul mouth, so expect a lot of f-bombs y'all!

You stare across the table at him.

The God of Night has his hands folded in front of him, trying to keep his eyes anywhere but on the glow-in-the-dark plastic cup you're sipping juice from, the book open to that last ritual, and your face. Finally, you sigh, putting the cup down, folding your hands in front of your face. Sure, you feel a bit like an anime villain, but...the man made you a promise.

"I didn't die. So start talking. What's so ooky-spooky about this ritual that makes you so skittish?"

"How much do you understand of what's written here?"

You shrug, pointing out the sections. "This basically reads like it's a spell for a messy break up, but I can't read most of the page."

He sighs, honest to gods (ha) sighs, like a melodramatic teenager. "It's...more complicated than that."

"Explain it to me, then."

"I...I would rather not-"

"You made a deal, dude. What's in the damn book."

"...I don't have many followers. You're...you're honestly my only one any more, even by technicality. I exist because I am Night, and--"

"I don't care about your tragic backstory right now. Why's this spell freaking you out so bad. Just means I get my privacy back, right?

"It..." He sighs again, and you resist the urge to roll your eyes. "It...it isn't just severing the connection between us. It...it takes from you."

"Like, what? I'll get dizzy, or--"

"Emotionally. It cuts out part of your emotional range as payment. It's not meant to make it...easy. You lose part of yourself. Based on what I've seen in the past, your particular witticisms, your sarcasm, your....you-ness...You might be a strange, weird little mortal, but you're my strange, weird little mortal--" He takes a breath, his hand covering the part of his face you can see, like he's embarrassed about saying that. "If you truly want me gone, I'll...I'll find a different way to sever our connection, I swear. I promise. But just...I..." He swallows, a motion you're not really certain he needs to do, before he speaks again. "I...I'm fond of you, in a way I haven't been in a very long time...and...I would be...put out if you lost your...spark, starlight." 

You blink. He's never called you anything but 'mortal' before. Not your name, and certainly not what could best be described as a pet name.

You sigh, shoving to your feet to go process things, get a slice of cake. You bought it as a treat to yourself, and by fucking god, did you need it now. The last thought, that last word really lingered, however, and you turned, brandishing the knife as you started talking.

"Wait a fucking second. Why did you call me starlight? What kind of--Are you blushing?" The god shifted to turn away from you, leaving you to follow him around the table, trying to catch his attention. "You are! Why are you--oh my fuck. Do you have a crush on me?" He continued to look away, leaving you laughing almost hysterically as you headed back to the cake, gesturing as you spoke. "This is how I find out. Fucking figures! First time someone does in forever, and it's a god with a problem with personal space--"

"Please, starlight, can we talk about this--will you please put the knife down before I actually tell you--" He squawked, staring at you, then over his shoulder, where the the object you just threw rolled to a stop. "Did you just throw a cup at my head?!"

"I dunno, did you just decide to call me sweet things like we're already lovers?"

"...Fair point, but...perhaps...perhaps I am fond of you in that way as well. I just...you're interesting in many ways, and everything I learn about you I carry with me through each night..."

You stare at him for a long time, then sigh. "Do it properly."

"...Sorry, what?"

"If you're going to try to flirt with me, do it properly. Woo me, motherfucker. Flowers. Dates...I don't know if gods do dates, but I'm not just gonna say 'oh boy! Time for deific dalliances!', you gotta work for this."

"...You're...not opposed. To..."

"We'll see. I'm not a cheap date."

You give him a smirk, not unlike the ones he's used to giving you.

It's worth it to see the small, truly happy smile come to life on his face.

[luna-writes-stuff]

Day 2: Almost is never enough, Xu Shangqi

Song link

Fanfic, female! reader

Angst, heartbreak, flashbacks

Word count: 4871 (oops)

Tw: Heartbreak, sad Shang-Chi, use of Shang-Chi instead of Shangqi, but when spoken I use Shaun as this is before he revealed his true identity. Angst, but sad sad angst. It takes a dark turn, honestly. Mention of car crash, worst possible outcome. Goes from 1 to 10 real quick. Talk about alcohol and throwing up. Drunk Shang-Chi, drunk reader. One use of Y/N (sorry)

Summary: Reader, Shangqi and Katy used to be the closest friends could get, and there had always been some sort of connection between reader and Shangqi that told them they would end up together. But fate is cruel, and not acting on time can have terrible consequences.

“I'd like to say we gave it a try. I'd like to blame it all on life.”

You had known Shang-Chi ever since he left his father. You met him through Katy, who might've known him two days longer. And since day one, the chemistry between the two of you had been too good to put into words. The two of you remained blind to it, but you were the only ones. Katy had secretly held a place in her heart for the two of you, but Shang-Chi had asked her not to speak about it, as to not embarrass him somehow.

After school, the three of you would always go to someone's house, though it was yours more often than Katy's. A special bond between the three of you began blossoming, and you had been so sure it would last forever. But you were a child, and children were fools. They held no sense of reality or future whenever things became too good or excited. Emotions took hold of logic, and as a child; who could blame you? You knew no better. Neither one of you did. You were convinced you'd be with one another until the day you would walk to one another's funeral.

“Maybe we just weren't right, but that's a lie. That’s a lie.”

"Have you finished your French homework yet?" Shang-Chi, or Shaun at the time, asked, walking into your house as he looked at your form, hunched over the dinner table. It had been your exam year and you were working so hard to make it.

"Je ne le comprends pas!" You exclaimed, sitting upright and throwing your pencil down. "It means 'no'."

Shang-Chi laughed at you, taking a seat on the chair beside you. "I know what it means. I know French."

"Of course you do, mister perfect." You mocked, sticking your tongue out to him.

"So you don't want my help?" He asked through a smile, already making his move to sit back up.

"No, I do, please stay." You quickly defended, grabbing his arm and pulling him back down.

"Now help me write this stupid letter." You convinced, showing the half written paper in front of Shang-Chi. His eyes quickly scanned the paper, stiffling a laugh as he read the last sentence.

"That's not how you spell 'entreprise'." He explained, pointing towards the mistake.

"That's why I have you, right?" You wondered aloud, resting your head on his shoulder. "Help me out here."

“And we can deny it as much as we want, but in time our feelings will show.”

"That guy has been making googly eyes at you all night now." Katy remarked, standing next to you, holding a red cup. It had been senior prom and she had forced both you and Shang-Chi to come along too. Even if it was just for two minutes. But two minutes turned into two hours, and you have done nothing but sit in a corner, reading your book while occasionally drinking a bit. Katy had done her best to interact with others, but was quick to stand next to you with Shang-Chi and talk about anything and everything. But now, Shang-Chi had gone to get some more to drink, and - unfortunately - you could feel the eyes of the second guy bore holes into your back.

"I am aware. Perhaps I should just tell him to shove off. He might leave me alone." You offered, rolling your eyes as his made contact with yours.

"Or you could offer him a dance. It is a prom after all and you haven't even crossed the dancefloor yet." Katy proposed, but her words vanished into thin air as Shang-Chi appeared again.

"What were you two talking about?"

"About how the two of you should let go a bit and get out there to dance." Your friend announced, grabbing Shang-Chi's cup, then grabbing your arm and tangling it together with his, pushing the two of you forward.

"Have fun!" She yelled after you.

“'Cause sooner or later, we'll wonder why we gave up. The truth is everyone knows.”

The night had lasted longer than you had primarily thought. Katy's plan worked and you spend the entire night dancing with Shang-Chi, even after the reluctance of both sides. He had walked you home the entire way. Katy had insisted on being picked up by her parents (after she threw up in the school bathroom), so it had just been the two of you.

"Thank you for tonight." You offered as you reached your doorstep.

"Yes? You had fun?" He asked happily, putting his hands in the pockets of his pants.

"Eventually." You confided, shooting him a wink. When a silence struck between the two of you, you walked towards him, extending your arms. Shang-Chi caught onto your meaning and wasted no time in wrapping his arms around you, content with being in your hold, even if it would just be for a few seconds.

Your hands found the back of his neck, where they met, as you pulled him closer, not wanting to let go just yet.

"And here I thought tonight would be boring." You mumbled, before turning your head slightly and planting a soft, yet lingering kiss on the side of his cheek.

You broke apart after, showing him a tiny smile.

"I'll see you tomorrow, Shaun." You said with a wave, now turning around and walking into your home. You had missed the way Shang-Chi remained standing there, not sure on what to comment or what to do. His brain forming some sort of short circuit. It wasn't until he heard you walking up the stairs, that he realized he should probably go home too. It would later become a memory that would keep him up at night, both with fondness and regret.

“Almost, almost is never enough. So close to being in love.”

But your actions were never discussed afterwards. You both met the day after, but it had been as if nothing happened. Katy did not find anything off, that was how well hidden it was. The kiss had but nothing but platonic, Shang-Chi had now tried to convince himself. He hated how he thought it could've meant something else, but deep inside, he knew it was too good to be true.

You had made no intention of even mentioning last night, aside from the part where you discussed the creepy guy. Katy had been laughing about the fact she threw up on a dance, but Shang-Chi had remained quiet, only sharing an occasional laugh and comment.

Ever since that night, he felt himself change around you. He would suddenly pick up on the little things you did. His stomach would feel feather-light whenever he made you laugh, something that had not happened before. His heart would pick up on the sound of your voice and every other noise would be cancelled the second you wrapped him in your arms. Conversations became more personal and your interests had been above his. He cursed himself for acting like that over a simple kiss on the cheek, but now that his heart knew what it could get, it would not stop until that was accomplished.

“If I would have known that you wanted me the way I wanted you. Then maybe we wouldn't be two worlds apart, but right here in each other's arms.”

"You make sure to write us, okay?" Katy reminded as you inspected your boarding ticket. You were leaving for London, to finally go to that school you always wanted to go to. You got rejected your first try, but the second was an easy entrance. The only problem was that you would be gone for four years, perhaps only visiting during the holidays. Shang-Chi knew there was a very realistic chance of you forgetting them or starting your own life hundreds of miles away from him. And he hated the thought. It had followed him ever since you announced that you finally got allowed in. But only now, at the airport, he understood what this could mean for you.

"I will write to you every week, how does that sound?" You spoke, gathering Katy in a warming hug, letting her decide when to let go.

"That sounds perfect." She agreed, taking a step back with a smile. Shang-Chi had walked up to you, heart hammering in his chest while he tried to keep his tears at bay, convincing himself that he would see you again soon, no matter what would happen. He wrapped you in another, stronger hug, keeping his arms around your waist as his head rest against the crook of your neck.

"Don't forget me." He whispered, so quiet, you weren't even sure you had heard him correctly the first time.

"I won't." You silently answered back, stroking the back of his neck lightly. In response, Shang-Chi planted a quick kiss on your cheek, his body acting before he could realize what he did.

Upon parting the hug, you showed him a genuine smile. Katy took her place beside him, smiling back at you, even when she had no idea what had just happened.

"Flight 205 to London, England is ready for boarding." The dreading announcement finally filled the building, causing you to frown, letting out a loud sigh.

"I should go." You mumbled, holding onto your ticket and suitcase. "I'll see you this winter. I'm sure of it." You promised, offering one final wave before leaving.

You did not see Shang-Chi's broken face, or Katy's uncharacteristic sulking frown and perhaps that had been for the best. Because one more look at your face, had been enough for Shang-Chi to grab your arm and force you to run away with him. But he did not get the chance. And he would perhaps never get it again.

“And we almost, we almost knew what love was. But almost is never enough.”

True to your word, you had appeared days before Christmas, surprising both of your friends. You had stayed over at Katy's, as Shang-Chi would often visit, taking the two of you out on nice evening. It had been December 23rd when Shang-Chi appeared in front of Katy's door again, but instead of waiting for her, he had only been there for you.

He had taken you out on a wonderful night, wandering the nearby Christmas market with you, the lights and music overwhelming you. He had bought you an adorable, ugly sweater you found, after with you surprised him with an equally adorable reindeer hat.

It had nearly been 2 AM, but the local pub was open, as it had always been. Yet, instead of the usual pub drinks, you both engulfed yourselves with hot chocolate, talking with each other about all the moments you had missed. For once, everything felt exactly as it once had. The painful aching in Shang-Chi's chest had returned, but the feeling his stomach left him after you shared yet another excited laughter had been worth every moment. He knew he should have grabbed his chance right then and right there, but he could not bring himself to do it. You would leave within a week, and he did not have the intention of scaring you off and making you leave earlier. So he would stay there, by your side, but from a distance, keeping his feelings to himself, no matter how much it had hurt.

“If I could change the world overnight there’d be no such thing as goodbye. You'd be standing right where you were and we'd get the chance we deserve.”

But the days went by slow, and every single one of them had been more painful then the one before. New Year's eve had approached and you had looked so beautiful that Shang-Chi could not bring himself to talk to you for longer than five minutes. Not even when Katy was around. He stuffed himself with the food around and drank way too much for his liking. You had tried to talk to him, but he just seemed to become more distant as you tried to connect with him. December 23rd suddenly felt further away than it had really been.

23:56, everyone was together in the living room of Katy's household. Everyone but one. Shang-Chi had rushed to the bathroom only seconds prior, the alcohol becoming too much for his system. He had sat in front of the toilet seat, his back hunched over as tried to get the upcoming bile out.

"Shaun?" You asked, knocking on the bathroom door, even though it had not been locked. "Are you alright?"

"Just perfect." Had been his response, but it was quickly followed by the rather unpleasant sound of vomit hitting the bottom of the toilet.

"I'm going to come in, is that okay?"

When the only thing you heard was his humming, you opened the door, sighing silently at the sight before you.

"Oh, dear." You cooed, kneeling down next to him, removing the tie from around his neck before rubbing his back soothingly.

"I'm sorry for tonight." He managed to get out, before emptying his stomach into the toilet once again.

"It's not your fault, sweetheart." You crooned, letting your hand wander into his hair, trailing slow circles into it.

"No, but it is. I haven't said anything to you the whole night, and it makes me look like a fool." He admitted, keeping his face above the toilet seat, though the urge to throw up slowly faded.

"And perhaps I am a fool. But then it's your fault, because you made me a fool. You make me do foolish things. And the worst part is that I don't even mind." He cried, a tear now escaping his eye.

"You're drunk, Shaun." You began, standing up to fill one of the empty glasses at the sink with some water.

"Of course I am, but it does not make my words any less true."

You formed your lips in a thin line, offering him the glass before taking your seat next to him again.

“Try to deny it as much as you want, but in time our feelings will show.”

"I love you, Y/N. I do." He confessed, grabbing the glass and gulping it down.

"I believe you. Tell me again tomorrow morning and we can talk about it." You promised, opening your hand to reveal a mint to him.

"I always carry them with me at parties." You answered his unspoken question, to which he nodded, taking the mint.

From the other room, you could hear everyone counting down. Both you and Shang-Chi had now been sitting with your back against the tub, your head on his shoulder, as his hand held yours, squeezing it occasionally.

"Happy new year!" You heard from the other room. You smiled at the laughter and cheering, turning your head towards Shang-Chi.

"Happy new-" But your words were interrupted as his lips crashed into yours, his shy self long forgotten. Perhaps you should have been grossed out by the idea that he had thrown up only minutes prior, but you could no longer care. You rested your hand upon his cheek as the other held onto his shirt, kissing him back with just as much need as he had.

"Happy new year." He finished for you after you broke apart, wrapping you in a hug, forcing you onto his lap. With your head on his chest, you slowly breathed out, happy to be in his arms once more.

"Happy new year, Shaun."

“'Cause sooner or later we'll wonder why we gave up. The truth is everyone knows.”

During breakfast the next morning, it became prominent that Shang-Chi had no idea what happened the night before. He did not even realize it was an entirely new year today. But you could not get yourself to bring it up. He had been drunk and he knew it, but you did not know whether to believe his drunken words or not. In vino veritas was still a thing, of course, but sometimes, people say weird things when they're drunk. Maybe this just was one of those moments.

Shang-Chi did know something had happened, but he did not know what. You would not tell him and Katy did not seem to know. You had convinced him it was nothing terrible nor something to be ashamed off, but as they walked you to the airport again, the thought kept nagging at the back of his brain. What if he had done something terribly wrong and you just wouldn't tell him? But you would be honest to him, would you?

Upon saying your goodbyes and hugging your friends, you lingered on Shang-Chi, holding onto him tighter than you had done to Katy.

"You make me a fool too." You had whispered, before breaking apart and walking towards the check-in hall. He did not even get the chance to ask what it meant or what he could do. All that was in his power at the moment was stand beside Katy and hoping you would come again one day soon.

“Almost, almost is never enough. We were so close to being in love.”

Three years it had been since that day. You had not seen them in three years. Sure, you had kept contact over letters and mail, but you had not once seen them again since that New Year's day. Shang-Chi had yet to forgive himself over whatever happened, even after you told him thousands of times it had been okay.

"When can we see you again?" Katy's voice echoed from your phone.

"I am in my exam year now and I need my fullest attention. We can meet when I'm done." You told her, but you had told her this many times before already.

"I miss you." She sang.

"I miss you too, Katy. Can you hand me Shaun again?" You asked. Originally, it had been you calling Shang-Chi, but of course, Katy was there too and she felt the need to speak with you again.

"Of course!" She announced. A short silence was followed until you heard Shang-Chi's voice again.

"I have to go now, but can you call me again tonight? I have to ace this German test in order to pass this semester." You pleaded Shang-Chi, who responded with a chuckle.

"After five years you still need my help for languages."

"You explain it so easily!" You defended. "So call me tonight, okay?"

"I will. Talk to you tonight." He offered.

"Yes, you will! See you tonight!"

“If I would have known that you wanted me, the way I wanted you. Then maybe we wouldn't be two worlds apart, but right here in each other's arms.”

"Welcome back, miss 'I-actually-finished-school'!" Katy yelled, running towards you, making you drop your suitcase to intercept her halfway. "Next time, don't make us wait three years." She mumbled, though it was obvious she was joking.

As your eyes landed on Shang-Chi, you spotted the woman beside him. She did not appear familiar to you, so out of kindness, you merely extended your arm, offering your hand.

"Y/N." You introduced kindly as she shook your hand back.

"Jennifer." She spoke through a smile, making you return the gesture.

"Oh yeah, this is Jennifer; my girlfriend." Shang-Chi introduced, making your heart drop to the pit of your stomach. Girlfriend, of course. You could not even blame him. It had been three years, who knows what had happened.

Another smile made its way onto your face, now walking over to hug him, yet it had not been as tightly as it once was.

"You did not tell me you had a girlfriend, mister lucky." You tried to joke, breaking the hug before he could even let go of your back.

"Well, I wanted to introduce the two of you in person rather than on the phone." He explained, holding his hand out for Jennifer to take. You offered her a sweet grin, nodding your head at them.

"She's beautiful."

“And we almost, we almost knew what love was. But almost is never enough.”

You had made the decision to move back to America, in order to keep more in touch with your family and friends. Katy had once more offered you a roof for the time being, glad to spend some extra time with you again, but Shang-Chi didn't nearly show up as often as he had before.

"He's all lovey-dovey with his girlfriend now. It's disgusting." Katy joked in the middle of your round of Monopoly. You had asked her about Shang-Chi and she did not hold back.

"Of course, Jennifer is really kind, but she's so unintentionally rude at times. Yesterday, she told me she admired my bravery for wearing my hair in a bun. Like, what is that supposed to mean?" Katy joked, but you could see it had been truly bothering her.

"And one time, she cancelled our karaoke night, because she wanted to see a movie with him. Ugh." The young woman resumed, but you made no intention of talking about it with her. You had barely known the girl, so you felt bad for hearing such terrible things about her.

"Don't tell Shaun I said this, but last week, she cried because we were going to pick you up from the airport. She thought he was going to cheat on her with you." Katy explained between laughs.

"Why would she think that?" You wondered aloud, your focus no longer on the Monopoly game.

"Because the two of you used to be super cozy."

"Yes, but we were no couple." You defended, swallowing the lump in your throat, thinking about what could have been.

"You would have been if you hadn't left." Katy confessed, but she swallowed her words as quickly as they came.

"I'm so sorry, I didn't mean for that to sound rude." She apologized. "It was great that you left because of your school, but let's be honest; you and Shaun would have literally been banging right now if you had stayed here."

"Katy!" You laughed.

"Just the truth!"

“And we can deny it as much as we want, but in time our feelings will show.”

"So, that did not work out." A voice spoke as the door opened, sighing heavily as he plopped himself down on the couch beside you.

"What happened?" Katy asked from the kitchen, busying herself with the pizzas in the oven.

"Jennifer and I broke up." Shang-Chi announced.

"Oh no! Why?" You asked, dropping the book you had been reading earlier.

"I don't know. She was acting all crazy and I did not really feel attracted to her anymore." He explained.

"Oh, I get that!" Katy began. "Remember Justin from high school?"

Both you and Shang-Chi hummed in response.

"He was cute, but only for a week. Spark kind of blew out."

You laughed at her metaphor, before turning back to Shang-Chi. "I'm really sorry for you, Shaun. She seemed like a nice girl."

All you got in response was a smile, followed by a thankful nod.

"If it's any comfort to you, we could get hot chocolate tonight. I'll pay," You announced, though Katy quickly threw off the idea.

"My show is playing tonight and I'm not missing it again. You can go with Shaun alone."

"Fine by me." You shrugged. "Hot chocolate?"

“'Cause sooner or later we'll wonder why we gave up. The truth is everyone knows.”

You and Shang-Chi had been seated in the same pub as before, the smell of hot chocolate filling your nostrils.

"Jennifer did not like you." Shang-Chi suddenly spoke up, making you frown at his words.

"Why? What did I do?"

"I have no idea." He confessed with a grin, taking a sip of his drink. "I once told her about you and ever since that moment, she had always held a grudge against you."

"What can I say? I'm just natural competition." You teased, raising your eyebrows a couple times, accompanied by a smirk.

"Perhaps." He had mumbled back, now looking at you as if it was his first time ever seeing you.

"Well, if she didn't like me, I don't like her either, so let's not spent the night dwelling about what could have been. Let's spent the night with joy!" You exclaimed, connecting your hand with his and giving it a reassuring squeeze, before returning your hand.

“Almost, almost is never enough. We were so close to being in love.”

"Katy, help. He did it again!" You yelled through the empty apartment, your mind foggy, but still half functioning. Katy emerged from her bedroom, her hair messy and her eyes half opened.

"He made me buy alcohol again!" You announced excitedly, bumping into Shang-Chi, who was clinging onto you as if you were his life-line.

"Are you both drunk?" She yawned, turning on the lights, helping the two of you to the couch.

"Just a wittle bit." Shang-Chi whispered, holding his fingers together at the 'wittle' part, a delirious grin on his face.

"But my savior is here once again." He continued, snuggling into your side as you laid on the couch, his head resting on your chest.

"This is soft." He remarked, poking it.

"Don't touch my boob, you perv." You giggled, slapping his hand away, to which he yelped a bit too dramatic for Katy's liking.

"You know, I do remember what happened New Year's Eve." Shang-Chi remarked. Katy rolled her eyes at his words, covering the both of you with a blanket.

"If I hear any moaning tonight, both of you can sleep on the street. And I mean it." She warned, before turning off the lights and walking back into her room. The second her door closed, both you and Shang-Chi burst out giggling.

"What happened New Year's Eve?" You asked, slurring half of your words.

"We kissed." He whispered, as if it had been a secret. You gasped in surprise.

"We didn't."

"Yes, we did, and it was right after I threw up." He stated proudly.

"That's disgusting!" You laughed, resting your arm around his torso.

"I did not tell you the next day because I was afraid you'd leave me again." He confessed, toying with the ends of your t-shirt.

"That's silly. I would not leave after kissing you." You defended.

"I even told you that I loved you. Maybe that's why I broke up with Jennifer. Because I still love you." Shang-Chi murmured, almost falling asleep now.

"That's crazy, because I love you too." You whispered into his hair.

"You do?"

"Mm-hmm. Ever since that dance at prom." You hummed.

"Wow....The world is crazy."

A silence struck the both of you, and for once, you thought he fell asleep. You were keen on following his example, already closing your eyes, enjoying the thought of sleep taking over.

"We'll remember this tomorrow, right?" Shang-Chi suddenly asked, his voice more quiet than before.

"Of course." You reassured. "But first, I'm going to sleep. Goodnight."

"Night night." He mumbled back, placing a soft kiss into the crook of your neck before nestling into your side more, letting sleep overtake him.

“If I would have known that you wanted me the way I wanted you, babe. Then maybe we wouldn't be two worlds apart, but right here in each other's arms.”

Breakfast had been the most difficult thing all morning; The terrible pounding on your head did not cease for once. The urge to throw up was ever present, keeping you incapable of swallowing even the tiniest bit of food.

"I'm exhausted." Shang-Chi announced, stretching his arms before resting his top half on the table, nearly dozing off on top of it.

"Don't be so loud." You shushed, holding your head in your hands, trying to cancel out his noise.

"Sorry." He mumbled through his hands as one subconsiously wandered of just to come in touch with your own. You looked up in surprise. Katy had no longer been at the table. How long had the two of you sat there? Did you fall back asleep? In the background, you heard the shower running, signifying that Katy was already done with breakfast and was busy changing.

"I know this is the worst possible timing, but do you want to go out on a date tonight? With me? Before we forget again." Shang-Chi wondered aloud, his volume down to keep your head calm.

"I'm not drinking again." You warned.

"Neither am I. I was thinking about seeing a movie."

"That can be arranged."

“And we almost, we almost knew what love was. But almost is never enough.”

But the date never came. After you were well enough to drive home a few hours later, a reckless driver bumped into the left side of your car, leaving you trapped, immobile and in terrible pain. You were gone before the ambulance could even arrive. Shang-Chi could not even properly process all of it happening. He remembered coming home to dress appropriate for the movie when the police called him, claiming he had been your emergency number. He had broken so many traffic laws to get to the hospital in time, but he knew it was useless. You had already been beyond saving when you were found.

He had spent days at your grave, telling you about the things that happened and things that he had hoped to happen. Every once in a while, he would bring hot chocolate with him, hoping to find some source of comfort, but the once sweet drink had turned bitter the second his tongue touched the familiar taste. The movie he had longed to see with you never once graced his eyes. Him and Katy had been each other's comfort; each other’s solace, but the feeling of someone missing did never go unnoticed by them.

It felt empty, humorless, and for days it had been difficult to even talk about it. But they would remain together for you. If they could not have you, they could at least have each other. And it would have to do.

“Almost is never enough baby. You know.”

[imagines-babes]

No Time To Die (Foolish_Gamers)

Hello sorry, I haven't been active. But I promised I'm still here. The ending kinda sucks I am sorry, I was stuck between two different endings. So I just stand by this end This is a mortal and god au. Lastly, the song is 'No Time To Die' by Billie Eillish. Also, this is over 2000 words

Foolish list Masterlist

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Foolish Pov

At different times I would wait for them. each time it was the same result death. I wished I hadn't met the first time but we were distant. That's what the Gods say. But I'm a God of Gold, Rebirth, Architecture, and where the sky and sea meet and worse I have lived for a long time.

In each era, I would watch how their attitude, personality, and looks change but their eyes and marks would be the same slowly adding another. Each death they had would add a mark and I only realized the 4th time it had to happen. It meant where they died. The marks would be like small moles or just birthmarks. Around their body for me is like a reminder of how they died. For them, they just watch their body connecting the dots wondering what it means.

This time they were in Greece. This is one of the times they were royal. Y/n Philips the High Priestess. They were will respect everyone rich or poor. Putting a smile on your face. Their dark hair and brown eyes. Those same eyes that I would fall for all over again. I saw them today near the fountain reading to the kids telling them stories about the gods and goddesses. Watching from afar. The small crowd of children heard their voices so intrigued by what they were saying.

"Honestly you need to get over them. This isn't healthy, Foolish?" Hearing a friend as I turn my head. "Well if you were in my position of being in love with mortal you would understand Karl. But you don't, you love two gods and they don't die. Also one involves fire and the other involves parties with a side of gambling if I might add."

The boy with brown shaggy hair with a palla of a shade of purple. Karl, the God of Time, Universe, Stories/Tales, and Messages.

"How's time?" Karl looked at me with a side-eye as I laugh. "Hahaha ask the boy who is the god of time ask for time." Another 2 more laughs appeared behind them.

Sapnap stood to the side of karl wearing a red chiton with white. Sapnap, the God of Fire and Fighting. Quackity, the God of Gambling, Revenge, Parties, Fun, and Opportunity

"Karl right you know you gotta stop this." I sighed. "How am I supposed to stop? Y/n is mine forever. You both understand it you three are gods you can't die. For me I watch them die over and over. Plus I am the God of rebirth so I see them even more so I follow." Sapnap pats my back. Hearing voices in the distance saying 'thank yous' Y/n finished the book as they stand up. I watch with a sigh. Till I noticed they are walking up to us.

Y/n pov

The children thank me as I smile and nod seeing some parents talk as well. Something caught my eye behind the women are four men. I haven't seen them before so I wanted to introduce myself. Feeling someone approaching me. "Hi Callahan do you think the children enjoy the reading today?'" I stood closing the book to look at him. He nods as I face him." Callahan do you know those four men there by the Parthenon?" He turned to see and immediately shook his head. To say weird is an understatement. Usually, it takes him a second to look at a person but with the three men, he didn't take a second or even a second glance. Wanting to question his action but I didnt wanna push. "Well since you don't I have to introduce myself it would be rude of me if I didnt." starting to walk toward the three it felt like he panicked so he stood in front of me and the three. shaking his head furiously. "What why can't I go talk to them? There is no reason why I shouldn't go talk to them." No words were written as I waited. "Okay, then let us go."

Foolish pov

"Why is Callahan with them?" Sapnap asked looking at me. "Because In every life. Callahan would be there for them just like me." I said watching them get closer.

Callahan, the God of silence and secrets.

"Hello, I don't think I know you four. Are you new around here?" karl shook his head well y/n scanned us. "You know everyone here by name?" Quackity asked and they nodded. "By name, what they wear, what they do for work, and how they act. I just like to remember things," They flash a smile, "I'm y/n and this is Callahan." They pointed at him as we nod. "This is Sapnap, Karl, Quackity and I'm Foolish." Pointing to each one then looked at me with a head tilt. "Foolish? Is that your name?" The question as I nod looking down. "It's different I like it." Hearing their name be called in the distance. "Sorry I must go but I hope to see you all later. at the festival" I stop them before they left. "Um, what are we celebration tonight?" They looked back with a squint in their eye. "You must be far travelers if you don't know. That fine Tonight is for the gods and goddesses. A festival to Thank each of them." With that, they left with Callahan. "Now we know what tonight is for mortals and the god and goddesses," Sapnap said.

Y/n pov

Hearing a knock on my door while I change" One second please," I answered walking to open the door only to see a box, Looking out of my room and turned my head to see no one, bringing it in to see one note.

To the High Priestess, Y/n Philips, This is from a present sent from above from Hannah the Goddess of Peace, Mercy, and Plantlife. Please wear this. It will save you from the challenges that might occur tonight.

Inside it was just a necklace in blue and red. It was weird because why would this godded choose these two colors? To me, these colors would represent another god. so I put them on walking out to see the festival begin. The colors were vibrant. The moon was bright like a spotlight on the people who worship their god and what they believed in. Seeing the kids run around playing games. while the adults dance with their partners. Looking around four men for this afternoon. Leaving a sigh Hearin the footstep as I turn my head to the side, "You know we have to stop meeting like this." A smirk appeared on his face. "Oh Punz you always find yourself to the side of me don't you?' Laughing at my words he hugged me. "How's the war?" He shrugged, "You know your father best and more importantly your brother, Sam." With that, I nod looking to the pillars and seeing them as I smile. Punz noticed my smile as he true his head. "I've seen you meet the newcomers." I turn back as I nod. "You know they didn't know what tonight was it was weird," Punz shrugged, "I should show them around bye punz." As I walked punz yelled, "Save me a dance tonight Y/n." I laugh at his action walking up to them.

Foolish pov

Walking towards the temple, my heart was pumping seeing y/n. My hands were sweating as I played with my fingers. "Stop stressing over tonight, will you? You will see them tonight they are important around here" said Quackty. Sapnap and Karl agreed walking up the stairs. "But what happens if tonight something happens and I have to wait another 100 years?" I tried to stay calm hearing the music. "It won't happen okay you have us here," Karl replied. I know it should've made me calm a little in reality it didn't one bit. Glancing around to see the whole city was here at this celebration. Then a yell saying their name caught my attention. To only see them laugh walking up to us. "Hi, I'm so glad you four could make it." Glancing at us then their eyes stayed with me. My head was in the clouds when they looked at me. "Yeah well this man," Sapnap put his hands on my shoulders shaking me a bit," Wouldn't stop talking about it, right?" Their eye left off of sapnap to mine as I just nod. "Well, would you want a to-" They object, "No but I think Foolish would love one We three are gonna hang out" They just nod at stare at them, "Well I hope you enjoy it and Foolish are you ready?" Still, no words came out as I put my arm out to see them linking their arm to mine as we walk.

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Y/n pov

It was midnight the moon slowly moved as the music changed. It was only the adults who were there. The dancing was slower as I looked over at Foolish and notices his features. The hair strand on his face as he tries to move it away as it just falls back. The smile he makes when something happens. It was like I know him. Like I thought about this all before in different lives describing all of him. My thoughts were broken from him shaking me, "Are you alright I thought I lost you there?" He gave a small chuckle as I did the same. "Yeah, I just-- Nevermind it's gonna sound stupid." Turning my face to the couples. Feeling a hand on the side of my left cheek to face him once more. "It's not gonna sound stupid I promise you." Feeling my face go red as I nod. "Well, I feel like I've known you before you know." He just stared at me with no words coming out. "Foolish are you okay?" It's like something snapped as he got up. "Dance with me?" He held out his hand as I took it in seconds with a smile. "Of Course.

Karl pov

"He did it, "I told sapnap and quackity clapping so they wouldn't turn. They were dancing. Twirling till I saw the necklace. "Hey, Sapnap that necklace y/n has does it remind of something." He looks around their necklace. "I don't think I do." I grab my book as I notice the words appear in someone's life. Sapnap came close bringing in Quackity to reading the words. "It's happening tonight, the war?" They looked over at the two. "We have to war-' Quackity stop his words. "We can't we weren't even supposed to see this. We can prevent this in the book." They both argue as I looked to see Foolish smile. "We have to warn Foolish and y/n,' They both stopped talking, "I don't want Foolish to be upset and wondering when he will see them again." A comet appeared from the skies. Sapnap saw the comet then turned to Quackity." We have to do this now we don't have enough time."

Y/n pov

He held me close as I smiled. "you looked very t=nice tonight /n" I nod as I looked at him. "You do too thank you Foolish." " Noah." I furred my eyebrows. "My name is Noah." Nodding." Nice to meet you, Noah." The music continue turning my head to see the boys talking while they looked at us. "Wanna go somewhere?" I moved away slowly as Noah nodded. Holding his hand as we walk to a garden with a fountain, seeing the statues of the gods and goddesses holding. "I know it's not a secret spot but it's calming here. right?" I turned to see him just staring at me. "Noah, why are you staring at me?" His face was red so I laugh looking at the statues. "You know i would like to meet a god."

Noah pov

My heart was beating when they said that. "What would you do if you did meet one?'' " Say thank you, ask questions." We stop in front of mine. My hands feel sweating. Ther looked at me. "You look like him?" Taking a quick glance. "y/n I need to tell you something.' They waited for the smell of burning to appear. Then hearing running. Karl appeared out of breath. I"We need to go," we were confused as the screaming started. Making y/n run to the building. Hearing the scream I was gonna run till karl grabbed my wrist. "Noah, you have to get y/n out of here and fast" "KArl what's gonna happen?" Karl just shook his head. " Noah you both have to leave Dream and Jack are back." Hearing the yelling i ran. The building was collapsing as i help some looking over to see Sapnap. "Noah we kinda need help." Bringing everyone out I tried to see y/n. The smoke was getting dark. "We have to leave now." "I can't find them" Hearing the laugh as Dream appeared. "It was such a good party now all their dead bodies.' Jack comes behind with y/n covering their face. Hearing the screams "Let them go back. " He laughs as Dream nods. He goes over to me passing flames. Dropping them into it. I was too late to get them. Just to hear their screams as Dream walked over to me. "This is what happens when you fall in love with a mortal." With that, they both left. Foolishly, tried to find water as the other three just stood there seeing his friend in denial. "Don't stand there just help me!" screaming to them, "Noah-" I stopped as they tried to reason with me. "I just got them back Karl." All he did was nod.

[sovtwords]

a king and his pawns

pairing: kita shinsuke x reader x miya atsumu warnings: 18+, royalty!au, threesome (M/M/F), bisexuality, anal, double penetration, hand jobs, blow jobs, doggystyle, kissing with cum, dom/sub undertones, fluff, established relationship w/c: 7.7k a/n: -AO3 LINK HERE- This is a little side-story thing I wrote for a royal!au I haven't actually gotten around to writing yet so WELP. It's fine tho, this was written for Kita's bday and he deserves it. LOVE YOU!! This fic features men engaging in sexual acts together so if that ain't your cup of tea then feel free to back out if you're uncomfortable! I'm bad at writing smut anyway, you'd probably be doing yourself a favour lmao. Regardless, enjoy!! Please lemme know what you think.

Kita Shinsuke was stressed. It’s not often the King loses his cool, but it seems as though life wishes to taunt him this week. Trade with Corvus has momentarily stopped due to an internal dispute meaning the Kingdom will be low on textiles for the unforeseeable future, a sudden drought has put the crops at risk, and Ginjima continues to test his patience with every new raid on the homesteads just outside of the kingdoms border - not within where Kita can arrest him, but close enough to be a thorn in his side.

He’s so very tired and so very alone, and everyone sees it as they convene for weekly meetings. They eye him with worry, yet he shrugs off every word of concern with the grace as befitting his title, though his Masters of War and Prosperity respectively eye him the most, the worry so potent on Lady Miya’s face he feels a warmth blooming in his chest. She even dares to lay a comforting hand on her king, and he allows only her to disregard her courtesies (not that she would ever forget them) and touch him. It’s nice to be treated well.

The meeting ends, and Kita is so close to retiring to his balcony to rest for a while until he notices that the happily married couple stay. “Ya alright there, Kita?” Atsumu asks, opting to drop all formalities and talk as friends like when they were younger. Kita’s glad for it.

“I’m fine,” he lies, and knows it wasn’t very convincing with the way they stare in disbelief. “Things are just tense right now. I’m sure we’re all feeling it,” he elaborates. Lady Miya takes his hand in hers once more, small fingers gripping tightly onto his. He keeps his eyes trained on them.

“That’s right, but you don’t have to burden this alone. It’s why you have your council. And you don’t have to hide anything from us. We’re here to listen to you, my King, so please – share your worries with us, so that you might feel better.”

Ah. His heart clenches with affection, and a soft smile grows on his face when he looks at the earnestness in your gaze, thumb idly stroking your fingers and momentarily forgetting that your husband is still in the room, sitting just to his left. But it’s so easy to forget that when his attention is focused on the right of the table, when Atsumu himself hasn’t said a word when normally he would screech if anyone dared get chummy with his wife, King or not.

“Thank you, my Lady. It warms my heart to know that you care so deeply,” he says carefully, pulling back with a quiet sigh. “But I’m fine, truly. I find that reading the books that you gifted to me helps me to relax.”

“I know another way ya might relax,” Atsumu interrupts before his wife gets sucked into a long conversation about stories.

“What is it?”

“Well, it’s something more suited for behind the doors of your chambers, if ya catch my drift,” Atsumu smirks, while his Lady looks appalled. Kita feels the tips of his ears burn but keeps his expression as stony as ever.

“That’s crude, Atsumu. And you know that I’m averse to…” he trails off awkwardly, glancing at you out of the corner of his eye. Atsumu laughs.

“I know ya don’t take concubines. But that doesn’t stop ya from reading the spicier books in the library, does it?”

“What’s yer point, Atsumu?” He asks bluntly. Better to get whatever trick he has planned over and done with. The blonde smirks, eyes shifting between himself and his wife.

“Was just wonderin’ if ya wanted a private show, that’s all. My Lady here makes for quite the spectacle. Just a way for ya to destress.”

Lady Miya gasps loudly, a blush burning on her face as she stares at her husband in complete shock while Kita’s heart stalls in his chest.

Watch his friends while they… No. That’s a boundary he should not cross. No matter how many times his eyes have slipped downwards to where your chest is pushed upwards by the corsets of your newer dresses, or how smooth your neck looked when you lean over to discuss reports with him, he…no. Such intimacy should belong in their bedroom, not his. Right?

“Atsumu, that's not a funny joke. You should watch your mouth and apologise to your wife for embarrassing her“

“Hold on now, your highness, she didn’t say no.”

Kita blinks. Looking to where she sits, he sees the obvious humiliation on her face, clear as day as the heat on her cheeks. But with it, a look of conflict, a spark of curiosity in your eyes when they lock with his.

“I…If it pleases my King, then I don’t mind. I would do anything for my King,” she says resolutely, and the way your voice grows airy every time she speaks of his title sends sparks straight to his groin. He swallows harshly, opens and closes his mouth a few times as he feels the heat of Atsumu’s smirk boring down on him. It had definitely been a while since he’d done anything of that nature, but… was this really ok?

It’s silent for what seems like forever. Eventually Kita calls out to the servant standing outside the council room.

“Find the largest chaise you can find and have it delivered to my room. I want it there by tonight.”

God’s above, save him. He was really going through with this.

- - - - - - - -

Night has fallen, the castle is quiet.

He doesn’t know how he should act. It seems as though nobody except Atsumu knows how to act, if the way Lady Miya sits with her back straight as a pillar and arms folded politely in her lap was any indication. Atsumu lounges against the chaise in front of Kita’s bed with a drink in one hand and fingers twirling through the sash of your robe in the other , waiting for either Kita or his wife to make any sort of move, though it seems as though their nerves have gotten the best of them.

“Shy, Kita?” the blonde Lord asks. Kita gives an embarrassed furrow of his brows, but stays quiet. Atsumu chuckles. “Well then. Does my King agree to let me be the one in charge tonight?”

How treacherous of Atsumu to ask, but with no real idea on how to go about this, Kita relinquishes control with a mute nod of his head. Better to let Atsumu take the reins than for him to accidentally cross a boundary he was unsure of. Atsumu downs his wine in record time, and moves to place it on a nearby dresser before returning to his Lady. He takes hold of your face with such reverence and love that Kita has to look away and swallow down the bitter jealousy swirling like bile in his gut. He hears Atsumu whisper some reassurances to you, and nimble fingers undo the sash around your waist.

You stand up at Atsumu’s request, and he takes your spot on the chaise, posted in front of the King for his viewing pleasure. “Didn’t want ya to miss this,” Lord Miya says, and swiftly loosens your robes, letting them pool around your feet and laying bare your silky and soft flesh for Kita to see. Dark eyes rove over plump breasts, wide hips and thick thighs, and he’s convinced that no concubine in the world could ever compete with the beauty standing in front of him, made all the more sweeter that you’re a coveted treasure by your husband, making Kita the only other man to ever see you like this. It makes his cock twitch in his breeches, and makes Atsumu smile devilishly because he knows the effect this is having on his superior.

Your gasp alerts him to the fingers that have slipped between your legs from behind to cup your sex, brushing against the light hair that Kita wants nothing more than to bury his face in right now. “She’s as sweet as a peach, this one,” Atsumu coos, pressing all the right buttons and gifting Kita with moans and sighs that Angels would blush to hear. “As wet as one, too. Let’s show King Kita, shall we?”

Without prodding you sit in Atsumu’s lap and allow him to spread your legs wide, and the candlelight makes the slick gathering on your cunt and thighs glisten, Kita’s brain faltering at the sight. His body grows hot with want, with need , and he nearly rips his shirt off of his body, composure slipping with each second that passes. Atsumu offered to let him watch, but now he’s not sure if he’s content to be just a bystander.

You hum and squeal when Atsumu pushes two of his fingers past your folds, pushing in and out at a gentle pace that you’re no doubt familiar with as he prepares you for greater things to come. “Yer so quiet, Kita. Are ya not enjoying yourself?”

The Lady  looks at him then, a gentle pinch to her brows. “Are you…not satisfied with me, my King?”

Atsumu flashes an exaggerated pout over your shoulder. “Yeah, my King. After exposin’ my wife like this for ya, is she not enough?”

“She’s beautiful,” he chokes, clears his throat but it has little effect with how thick with lust his voice has grown. “She’s perfect.”

The smile on your pretty little face does funny things with his head.

“Ya hear that, my love?” Atsumu holds you close and rocks you side to side. “The King thinks yer beautiful. I dunno if many ladies can say that. Say thank you.”

“T-Thank you, my King. I’m honoured,” you grin. Kita gives you a small smile in return, though it falters at the edges when Atsumu catches you off guard and thrusts his fingers into you with great speed. It sounds wet and hot and Kita’s hand wraps around the bulge in his pants, stiff and begging to be touched, especially when the usually composed Lady Miya in front of him whimpers and pants like you’re in heat, moving your hips in sensual ways and locking eyes with Kita to steal the air from his lungs.

“A-Atsumu!” you gasp, wrapping a hand behind you to grasp the hair of your husband, but the smirk stays on his face, enjoying your plight. “Be gentle!”

“You love it,” he shushes you, planting kisses on your neck and biting down on your shoulder when you grow too rowdy. “Besides, we promised King Kita a good show, didn’t we? I have to prepare ya, don’t want ya cryin’ because yer tight hole wasn’t ready to be filled.”

You moan loudly when Atsumu brushes over your clitoris roughly, small hands moving to cover your mouth, and it’s the final push Kita needed to remove his trousers and take his cock in hand.

You watch in silence as he undresses, eyes immediately zoning in on the length and girth of his member, biting your lip for a different reason than when your husband removes his fingers from your core. Atsumu brings them up to the light to look at them curiously. They’re soaked from knuckle to fingertip, and when he pulls them apart tendrils of your slick keep them connected. Kita’s overcome with the desire to touch it, to touch you, see how you taste.

The smile Atsumu gives him sends chills through his body, as if his Master of War had read his mind.

“I think he wants a taste, my sweet,” Atsumu rubs soothing circles into your hip with his free hand, keeping his calculating eyes on his King. “What do you think?”

“The King can have whatever he wants,” is your answer, hiding a smile in your husband’s jawline while he laughs. Fuck, they were going to drive Kita insane. What surprises him even more, is instead of offering your pussy for Kita to lose himself in, Atsumu holds out his hand, like offering his fealty to the King once more as he had sworn so long ago.

“Then by all means, have a taste.”

There is a moment where it’s entirely too silent save for the heavy breathing Lady Miya is trying to get under control. A million thoughts run through Kita’s mind as his eyes flicker between Atsumu’s fingers, his childhood friends’ face, and the naked woman before him. It feels like entirely new territory, uncharted waters that Kita has only thought about dipping his toes into before running back out for fear of falling too deep into the water.

But in Atsumu’s eyes there's nothing but trust and desire, and in your eyes there's encouragement and adoration. His heart hammers in his chest, and burns with the overwhelming love and support from his closest. It makes his limbs move before his brain can catch up, leaning forward with his mouth opening while Atsumu’s grin grows wider, taking the digits in his mouth before hesitation can settle.

It’s strange, to suck on your best friend’s fingers, long and thick in his mouth, calloused from years of sword fighting as his tongue brushes against the pads of his fingertips. He can barely taste the saltiness of his skin though, as your sweet juices invade his senses like a summer wine, pure and sweet like the woman they came from. He grabs hold of Atsumu’s wrist when he makes to remove them, licking and scraping his teeth on them in a way that makes Atsumu’s breath hitch with widened eyes, and Kita mentally records it as a win before slowly releasing with a pop, lines of spit breaking the further away Kita gets as he takes his place on his bed once more, precum leaking from his slit.

It is Lady Miya who breaks Atsumu out of his trance with a gentle hand cupping his cheek and turning his attention back to the situation at hand. The smile on your face is light-hearted, if not mischievous, a gleam to your eye letting Kita know that you enjoyed what you just witnessed. “I think, dear husband, I’m ready to get fucked hard for the King.”

An impish grin blooms on Atsumu’s flushed face immediately at his wife’s forwardness. Honestly, Kita had never expected the Lady to be this way. You had always been on the reserved side, befitting your rank and lessons in etiquette. Quiet, polite, spoke when spoken to. If someone had told him a few years ago when Atsumu had introduced you to Kita when you were still giving the twins lessons in etiquette that he would be witnessing you in such a lewd position and answering all of the fantasies he had locked away, he would have almost laughed out loud at the absurd notion.

Funny how life works.

“Should we let his Royal Highness choose how I do it?” The blonde pushes his hair out of his eyes, and both Lord and Lady Miya look at him, eyes alight with interest.

“I…,” Kita clears his throat, brain bringing forth images of every position imaginable. He squeezes the base of his cock. Save it for the grand finale. “I want the Lady on her hands and knees facing me.”

That causes Atsumu to laugh in delight.

“Ah, takin’ her from behind, like mounting a bitch in heat,” he snorts. You pout at the language, but Atsumu kisses it away, lips pressing lightly against the bridge of your nose until you’re smiling again. “Never would’ve assumed ya liked it that way. Not very proper, is it?” Atsumu comments.

“Are you here to question your King on what he likes in bed, or are you going to deliver on your promise and show me somethin’ good?” Kita remarks.

Atsumu delivers another laugh as he lifts his wife off of his lap and places her onto the soft, cushioned chaise lounge as promised, knees spread apart and encouraging you to lean onto your elbows.

For a moment, as Atsumu undresses, he regrets not choosing a position that allows him to watch more closely as he enters in and out of you, but any complaints he has dies when Atsumu spits into his hand and rubs at his stiff member, lining it up with your entrance. Kita nearly cums all over his hand when he locks eyes with the woman across from him as Atsumu pushes in with a sigh of relief, no doubt seeking any sort of pleasure for his aching cock just like Kita. At least he has a pussy to bury himself in. King Kita just has his fist.

Your eyes flutter as Atsumu goes deeper into your tight cavern, groaning and furrowing your brows while you clutch onto the chair beneath you. You whimper when he bottoms out, and are only given a moment to adjust while Atsumu looks at Kita in question.

‘Shall I start?’, he seems to say.

Kita nods, and watches in perverse fascination as Atsumu rears his hips back and thrusts forward once more, making you choke on a scream as he sets a relentless pace, not holding anything back.

Your moans mix with yelps and screams of pleasure as your husband pounds into you from behind, round hands on soft hips and curls loosening from where they were pinned back on your head. Kita’s eyes stay glued to where your tits bounce with the force, hand finally giving him some relief and stroking his weeping cock, unwinding some of the tension in his shoulders and stoking the fire in his gut. He wants to reach out and fondle your chest, your nipples, but stays his hand, fear of crossing that damned boundary getting to him.

Atsumu is loud, he realises, almost as loud as his wife is right now. He groans and he growls like a wild animal, so overcome by the feeling of his Lady, of everything that she is, and praises fall from his lips like the water rushes down the mountain’s peaks.

“F-Fuck, yer so tight, I love it,” he grits, reaching over to grab hold of your chest like Kita wanted to do so badly. “So wet for me, for your King. Ya love getting fucked in front of him, practically beggin’ me for weeks.”

Kit almost feels as if he shouldn’t be hearing this conversation, but such crude words make him fist his cock faster, wet with precum and helping him ease the friction of hand to dick.

“A-Atsumu, I-”

“Don’t lie,” he laughs. He pinches your nippple roughly, and earns himself a gasp. “Every time ya called me yer sweet King, you were thinkin’ ‘bout him, too. Weren’t ya?”

You can say nothing, only look at your ruler with unbridled lust in your eyes. It’s getting harder to breathe now as he pumps his dick in time with his friend’s thrusts, entranced by the look on your face and Atsumu’s voice.

“Thought s-so,” Atsumu stutters when he rubs at your clit and you squeez hard. “Well, I’d do anythin’ for ya. Guess that includes fuckin’ ya silly in front of your King.”

Atsumu tsk’s and lifts your torso up so Kita can have the best seat in the house. Eyes stay glued to where they are connected, pistoning in and out of your walls and glistening with your slick. It brings forth images of wanting to get closer, let his tongue feel the both of them at once but it's so outlandish that it brings heat to his cheeks and pushes him closer to his release, chest heaving with exertion as everyone in the room reaches a crescendo like a symphony of sex.

That is until Atsumu stops abruptly, and it's so sudden and odd when the sounds of skin slapping cease that it causes everyone to lose their high, cooling down with irritation and impatience.

Atsumu's chest heaves air with great effort, yet his eyes are sharp as he regards his King.

"I think," he starts, easing out of his wife slowly, making you whine at the loss. "King Kita is lookin' a lil lonely. And it's our duty as his advisors and subjects to serve the King, right my love?"

You blink in surprise, when a smile curls at the corner of your lips, one that you definitely learned from your husband. Affection blooms on Atsumu's face at your reaction.

"We should give him a hand," the blonde declares, and suddenly he's carrying his wife over to the royal bed, laying you down gently against the rich, maroon satins and silks, hair splayed around you in rivulets like water. With equal parts curiosity and hesitation lacing his limbs, he moves further up the bed at Atsumu's insistence, coming face to face with you as you smiled kindly at him, lidded eyes and bottom lip plump from where you bite it.

He gives you one in return, one of the rare, genuine smiles he reserves for when he's with his closest and when he's happy. The sound of a throat clearing snaps his attention back to where Atsumu kneels at the end of the bed, cock bouncing against his lower stomach with every shift on the featherbed.

"Does my King allow us to do as we please with him?"

It's almost embarrassing how quickly he says yes, aching to feel the touch of something other than his own hand for once. Atsumu smirks.

“Wonderful.”

Moving closer, all three find themselves huddled in a circle of sorts, with two sets of eyes hungrily staring at him. Atsumu looks at his wife, and she stares right back. It becomes apparent to Kita then and there, that there is no imbalance between them. Though you may fold your hands when appropriate and open your mouth when addressed in broad daylight, though Atsumu’s words and hands guide you behind closed doors and you part your legs for him like a blossoming flower, they are, without a doubt, equals in every sense of the word. Atsumu gazes at you with such adoration it would give the poets something to sing about for centuries to come, and he is certain that if you were to give an order, Atsumu would bend and do it for you, no questions asked.

It’s funny - the Master of War and the Master of Prosperity; two things that could never work hand in hand, but ultimately make for a wonderful pair.

And it makes Kita’s heart yearn for even a drop, an ounce of what they share, for someone to look at him the way they do each other.

“Maybe I should give you some tips on how to go about it, my sweet,” Atsumu says, and it’s all the warning Kita gets before a large, rough hand wraps itself around his member. He jerks at the feeling, eyes wide at the blonde smirking before him, and he looks frantically at the Lady beside him who offers nothing more than a demure upturn of her lips.

“What are you doing?” demands Kita, but the words end in a choke when Atsumu’s thumb swipes over the head of his cock.

“I’m showin’ my wife how to please ya.”

“I-I think she w-would..” Kita has to stop talking to emit a whimper when Atsumu’s hand squeezes his dick. He swallows hard. “I think she would know how to please a man by now.”

“Hmm, yer right. She sure does know how to get me going, but…”

He removes his hand from Kita’s shaft for a brief moment to lift his wife’s leg, dragging a hand through your thighs and bringing it back to Kita’s erection, now slick with his wife’s juices and providing smoother friction.

“No harm in remindin’ her of the lessons. Watch carefully, love.”

It moves expertly up and down his length, knowing when to twist and squeeze, when to go fast and slow. Kita’s hips jerk up into Atsumu’s hand, unable to help the sighs and moans flying out from his chest. It feels good, so so so good, and a softer, more feminine pair of hands scrape gently over his chest, toying with his pert nipples and sending sparks straight down to his groin.

“He seems to like that,” you whisper, pressing your lips to the pulse in his neck. Kita is positive it must be ready to burst from his skin right now, yet still you suck and nip and paint his skin in the most delicate hues while your husband’s hand increases in speed. His other hand reaches down to fondle Kita’s balls, heavy and begging for release. Whines and whimpers grow louder as he approaches that sweet edge.

Atsumu hums. “He’s got a pretty cock, doesn’t he, my love? I bet you’re just drippin’ thinkin’ ‘bout it inside ya. Hungry for another man's dick.”

You shiver from your spot beside Kita, a hand scratching at his scalp and sending tingles down his spine, and a pink tongue poking out to lick at his nipples.

“P-Please…” Kita begs.

“Well, ’m hungry myself,” Atsumu continues, and swiftly dips down to take the head of Kita’s cock into his mouth, sucking hard while his hand never ceases its upwards and downwards motion. It's wet and hot, and the swirling of Atsumu's tongue around his tip, lapping up the precum that had gathered is enough to make Kita moan aloud in surprise and pleasure. His face glowing red as he desperately thrusts into Atsumu's mouth but his brain is too clouded with lust to feel embarrassed at this moment.

His fingers grip onto rich bed sheets as he loses himself in the heat of Atsumu’s mouth, that mischievous tongue of his being put to good use and stroking the vein on the underside of his prick before bobbing up and down in time with his hand. It’s almost overwhelming, feeling tongues on different parts of his body but it feels glorious, to have these mouths worship and love him like he craves but never says aloud.

It feels like Atsumu’s mouth is barely on him for a moment before Kita is grasping onto the nearest things he could latch onto, Atsumu’s head of hair and your hand conveniently already in his, and he holds onto both for dear life as he cums with a loud and long groan, releasing into his friends mouth with surprise and twitching with the aftershocks when Atsumu keeps him in his mouth for a tad too long.

“T-Too much, please,” he stutters, and Atsumu takes pity on him for the time being, laughing at how wild and unkempt his King looks right now.

“I guess you’ll have to test out yer skills next time. Come here,” hands reach for his Lady’s face, and he lets drops of Kita’s cum still in his mouth fall into your own open and awaiting jaws, sealing it with a kiss that’s all tongue and wildness. The perverse sight of them sharing his fluids makes his cock twitch to life again with alarming speed, but it’s also the words echoing in his ears that stick with him.

Next time. Implying that this won’t be a once off thing, a strange night to remember for years to come.

It makes him hard in seconds, even after spilling his seed in his friend's mouth.

If the couple beside him are surprised at his recovery time, only Lady Miya shows it with a raise of your eyebrows in pleasant surprise.

“Do you wish for more, my King?” you ask, traces of his load shining on the corners of your lips. He stops himself from reaching over to lick it off.

“Yes,” Kita sighs, and his chest seems to deflate with the motion, his words needy and wanting. “Please - keep going.”

“What do you want? Anything for you,” your hand cups his face with such gentleness he could cry. How sad it must be, for the simple touch of a person could be enough to shake him.

“I n-need you, I want you on top of me-” he has to stop himself with a sharp intake of breath. Eyes wide with fear look over to where Atsumu sits, a uncharacteristically stoic look on his face that makes Kita’s anxiety flare up. After a moment of silent contemplation, he opens his mouth.

“Does my King command it?”

It offers Kita a moment to rethink his words, to retrace his steps before they were taken. And as he looks at the faces of his friends for any signs of discomfort, looks at you for clear rejection, he sees no hesitation or resistance in either of their expressions. Only eagerness, anticipation for what could come. It strengthens his resolve.

“He does,” Kita says, with the air and grace of the King in power he is. And Atsumu grins like that cat who got the cream.

“Perfect,” he sings. “Lay back, yer Grace. Let us do everythin’ for ya.”

Doing as told, Kita finds himself a comfortable spot against the pillows and cushions, cock resting hard on his belly and watching as Atsumu coaxes his wife to straddle his hips. Hands fly instinctively to the squishy flesh of your hips and thighs, smooth like satin, and his grip on you only grows tighter once he feels just how wet you are, practically dripping onto his lower abdomen. It drives him mad with excitement, knowing he’s seconds away from shoving himself into your tight hole.

“Go on,” Atsumu encourages when you look back at him in question. “I’ll help ya when ya need me.”

Biting your lip, you peer down at Kita.

“I’m ready,” he assures you with a squeeze of your hips. You reach down to grab his member and he hisses when you pump him a few times, dragging it up and down your soaked folds. He worries his bottom lip at the sensation, and just when he gets used to it you line him up with your entrance and begin to sink down on him, ever so slowly.

He loses the ability to breathe when your warm heat engulfs him. His eyelids flutter, his toes curl, and they haven’t even gotten to the best part yet. Atsumu hums in approval when you finally sink down, hips flush with Kita’s, sighing in unison. You can’t help the grinding of your hips, trying to accommodate his size and girth, but it makes him growl and still your hips. “Give me a second,” he pleads. And you do, leaning down to give him his first kiss of the night. He can taste himself on your tongue, taste Atsumu along with him, and your tongues tentatively brush and move against each other as you grow accustomed to the feeling of your lips on the others.

He catches his breath when you pull away, blinking out of a stupor, and it seems as though Atsumu has had enough with waiting, for he clears his throat loudly. “Ready to get started?” They both nod. “Good.”

With that said, Atsumu holds on tightly to your hips, hands over Kita’s that stay locked on your flesh, and begins to slowly lift you off of his cock, only to push right back down. Kita groans at the fluttering of your gummy walls around him, head thrown against the pillows while Atsumu increases the speed and pace with which he picks his wife's body up, getting you into a mindblowing rhythm and bouncing you on Kita’s member.

Atsumu certainly dictates the speed and rhythm right now, and the coil in Kita’s gut begins to make a reappearance with every clench of your pussy around him. You’re both at the mercy of Atsumu, who alternates between stealing the air from Kita’s lungs with bringing your hips down hard and fast, or slowly and maddeningly gyrating your hips so that Kita presses against every spot inside of you, massaging that sweet, spongy flesh hidden deep inside that has you gasping out a strange mix of their names and clawing onto Kita’s chest for stability.

“That feel good?” Atsumu asks. He’s met with a chorus of moans and whines from his Lady and his King, but he isn’t satisfied with that. “I said, does that feel good?”

“Y-Yes, my Lord!” You gasp, and are rewarded with kisses and nips to your neck by your husband. Dark eyes peer at Kita over your shoulder, demanding an answer from him as well.

“Yes,” the white haired man grunts. “F-Feels so fuck- fucking good.”

“My, my! Our King has a naughty mouth. My sweet, how does his cock feel?”

Your moans are light and breathless when Atsumu rocks your hips back and forth. Your juices stain Kita’s abdomen, and he’s tempted to reach out and swipe some up on his finger to lick. “He feels so big! So so so big, it’s too much, it’s- oh!”

Kita is almost as surprised as you are when Atsumu guides his King’s hand to your swollen folds, showing him how to rub at your clit with practiced motions. You careen in response, hips moving erratically and crying about how good it feels.

“Tell him, not me,” Atsumu laughs.

“Oh, my King, my sweet King, you feel amazing. I love your cock so much, stuffin’ me full, I can’t take it, I love it I love it I love it!”

Your praise, your words, the heat of your cunt; it all goes straight to his head and his heart, and the coil in his gut tightens dangerously, ready to burst his seed into you and fill you up, but Atsumu has your plans before he can reach his peak.

Atsumu lifts your hips up one final time, but doesn't bring them back down. The disappointment in the room is immeasurable, denied a high once more when they were just so close to falling off the edge. Lady Miya whines loudly and impatiently, having been denied her orgasm twice now.

"I know, baby, I know," Atsumu coos, pets your hair and soothes the furrow of your brows. "But I was gettin' a lil lonely over here. I wanna join in."

Your eyes light up in question, staring at him questioningly and obeying when he orders you to bend over. Chest to chest with Kita, the King cradles you closely, brushes loose strands of hair out of your eyes, and allows himself a simple peck to your lips, one that you return with two of your own.

But you jump in shock when Atsumu spreads your cheeks apart and spits loudly onto your rear.

"Atsumu! You...you mean to-"

"Shh. You trust me, don't ya?"

"Always," she answers without hesitation, and the smile he gives you is warm and full of love.

"Then just wait," he rubs a finger over your puckered hole, spreading the spit and watching in fascination how it responds to his touches. He loves your cunt like a drunk loves his wine, but your ass is just as addictive. Really, any part of you is more than enough for him.

You bite your lip when a finger dips in, struggling to accommodate the invasive digit. Kita distracts you with more kisses, hands on your breasts, pulling at your hardened nipples and drinking in your moans like he's breathing in the fresh air of the morning.

"You are so beautiful," he whispers in your ear, watching over your shoulder as Atsumu adds a second finger, pumps them in and out so carefully. The blonde reaches around to lightly toy with your clit - not enough to make you cum, but enough to make you relax and less restrictive. "He's lucky to have married ya."

"Shinsuke," she sighs into his own ears, and it sends shivers down his spine. It's very rare people can address him as Kita without his title, let alone his first name, but it sounds so beautiful coming from the lips of his friends.

"Yer doin' so well," Atsumu praises, free hand massaging the globe of your ass cheek once Kita’s clumsy fingers take over the role of rubbing your nub. "Stretchin' ya out real good. You want both of our cocks, don't ya?"

"I do, I want them so bad-"

"Think you can handle us?"

"Yes, please! God, Tsumu, I wanna be stuffed with both of your cocks-"

"Damn, you get loud when yer needy." Atsumu drags his erection through the folds of your pussy, gathering as much of your juices to coat his dick once again before he lines it up with your back entrance. "We'll take things nice and slow."

It seems as if Atsumu is reassuring more than just his wife with that statement, and Kita is grateful for it.

You bite down on the skin of his shoulder when Atsumu removes his fingers and presses the tip of his dick at your hole. You’re clenching hard and gasping at the stretch, and Kita works with Atsumu to soothe your cries and kiss away your tears.

He kisses your lips when you give a harsh wail as Atsumu presses in further, not even halfway in yet but groaning at how tight it feels. He spits once again where you're both connected while you twitch and sigh as Kita's fingers return to your swollen bud.

"Yer doing amazing, such a good girl," Kita peppers your cheeks with light kisses, and with one last thrust Atsumu is fully seated with his cock in your ass, glassy eyed and chest heaving with tension as he gives the pair of you a moment to adjust.

He bends over to lick and kiss a line up your spine. "Your turn Shinsuke." Kita stalls, wondering for a moment if you really are ready to take them both at once, but Atsumu mistakes his silence for hesitation. "Need help with that?"

Lord Miya reaches down to gently guide Kita towards your sopping hole, and he sucks in a breath as your hips lower agonisingly slow to sink down on him until both of their members are filling you to the brim.

You're a panting and whining mess atop of him, fighting to catch your breath whilst Kita fights to make sense of what he's feeling right now. He can nearly feel Atsumu press against him through a thin layer inside of your pussy, every budge of his hips making his chest tighten at the friction.

"Tell us when to move," your husband says. After a moment of getting used to the stretch with little twitches of your hips, you nod frantically.

"I'm OK, you can move."

"I'll let Kita do the honours," Atsumu smirks.

Lifting his legs higher up the bed for leverage, Kita gives an experimental thrust into your core. It feels so good when you clamp down with a whimper, and so he does it again, and again, until he's set a slow but steady rhythm and enjoys the look of pleasure on your face, the way you bite your bottom lip to keep from moaning too loud but failing miserably.

Gradually becoming more comfortable and succumbing to pleasure, Atsumu begins to move gently, pulling out slowly and pressing back in, so as not to disrupt Kita’s flow but your reaction is immediate, a sharp gasp and a whine for more, arching your back and trying to reach behind to your husband. He leans over to allow you to thread fingers through his hair, and begins to grind faster into you, trying to match Kita’s pace and intensity.

“S-Shit, yer so tight, yer... fuck-” he curses and stutters his hips. “God I love ya- I love ya so much.”

“Please, g-give me m-more!”

“My pretty little slut,” he coos, and you sob into Kita’s chest. “So- fuck, so fuckin’ greedy. You wanna get fucked hard?”

“Gods, yes! I want to be full of your cum, please please please-”

“S-Shit,” he swears, and Kita watches as the careful, calculated look Atsumu kept in his eyes all night suddenly turns wild, frenzied, just about ready to tear you apart like you desired. “You asked for it, pretty girl.” He gives Kita a look. “Ready?”

The King nods. “Ready.”

The blondes' lips curl up at the edges, and you’re only given a moment before both sets of cocks begin ramming into you with such great force that it has you falling on top of Kita, where he wraps his arms around your frame to keep you steady. Words turn into coherent babbles and cries as they piston in and out of you in near perfect unison, and it’s the friction Kita so desperately craved as your wet walls and Atsumu’s shaft rub him so deliciously that his orgasm rears it head once more, building so perfectly and steadily that he feels like he’s reaching Cloud Nine.

Kita unwinds one of his arms from around your waist to reach Atsumu’s ass to give the flesh an affectionate squeeze, causing him to meet Kita’s eyes over your head. Atsumu leans down to capture Kita’s lips in a sloppy kiss, one that’s more tongue and spit and passion than anything else, and the King barely has any second to catch air when he pulls away before your tongue prods at his lips, lips that he opens willingly like heavenly gates. And when Atsumu joins in again, and he feels two messy sets of tongues invade his mouth, one rough and demanding, the other soft and sweet, he can do nothing more than let out a whine and try to keep up with the wonderful sensations taking hold of his body.

He’s given some reprieve when Atsumu pulls back to sit up, grasping at your hips and fucking into you so fast you’re stupefied, mouth hanging open and drooling on Kita’s chest. He doesn’t mind - rather, he doesn’t really notice, too busy focusing on your bouncing tits in front of his eyes, on the occasional brush of Atsumu’s sack on his skin, and the rising coil in his gut, ready to snap at any moment.

Hips jump erratically off the bed when Atsumu rubs at your clit hard and fast, nearly crushing Kita’s cock from how tightly you squeeze the both of them as your husband brings you to your mind shattering end.

“I’m cumming! I’m- I-”

It’s all you’re able to say as your peak washes over you in waves of heat, and he feels your juices gush out on top of his skin as you do so. Fuck, he’s nearly there, so close, just a bit more-

“I’m c-close, I’m so close-” Kita stutters.

“Cum for me,” Atsumu growls, pounding into your ass with abandon while you fall onto Kita’s torso, arms wrapped around his neck and sobbing so pitifully in his ear. “Cum for us, Shinsuke.”

It’s the push he needed. He’s shooting his seed into your core with a strangled shout, pumping load after load right into you while Atsumu follows, unloading into your ass with a curse and a moan of your name, going balls deep and spilling all that he has while your walls milk them for all that they have.

Atsumu collapses on top of both of you with a tired sigh, and while Kita’s body protests at the added weight, his mouth can’t quite catch up with his brain at the moment, so he simply lays there as the heat of the room falls over all of you like a blanket.

Both cocks begin to soften inside of you. Ever so gently, they pull out, seed escaping your holes and dripping slowly onto the sheets as you whine at the loss and clench around nothing, feeling so terribly empty and almost wishing they had stayed inside of you. But it gives you an opportunity to rest, and Atsumu flips you on your side until he’s laying you down on the bed, littering kisses all over your body and singing praises about how well you did for them, how much of a good girl you are.

You smile sleepily, exhaustion overtaking your limbs, and Kita can only cup your face and rub his thumbs on your cheekbones, uncertain if kissing you would be crossing a line now that the deed has been done. You arch into his touch while Atsumu leaves to get a cloth.

“Was that ok for you, my King?”

Ah. Of course you would put him above yourself. He smiles warmly at that.

“That was wonderful. You were perfect,” he answers honestly, and you practically glow with pride at his words. When Atsumu returns, Kita takes the cloth, opting to be the one to clean the mess between your legs. It’s the least he could do after all that they’ve done for him.

It grows silent once he finishes, looking over to see Atsumu holding you close from behind. Your eyelids are drooping and your eyes grow hazy with every kiss and rub Atsumu gives to you, yet when Kita is about to excuse himself, to find solitude in a bath and let the married couple have his bedchambers for the night, you reach out to him, wanting to hold him, his face, to bring it close to you and trap him for the night.

“Are you sure it’s alright for me to…” he trails off with uncertainty. Atsumu snorts, offering him a kind and warm smile.

“The Lady always gets what she wants,” he jokes, and Kita lets out a fond laugh. “Besides - yer the King.”

“I don’t want to overstay my welcome,” he replies. And he means it. But his heart begs for the opposite, for you to not let him go and let him rest his head on your heart.

It seems as though you hear his thoughts.

“I want you to stay,” you murmur, sleepy but resolute in your words. “Do you want to stay?”

His eyes flicker back and forth between husband and wife. He could leave. He could end things right here, pretend like tonight never happened and go on existing as King like he always has. Things would become too complicated if he stayed. He knows this. And yet…

“I do,” he whispers, and curls into the warmth of your chest while Atsumu rubs at his hair with a fondness not common in him. Kita feels, for once in his life, at home. No castle too big and warm can ever compare to this. “I do want to stay.”

“Well then,” Atsumu says warmly, while you finish his sentence.

“Stay.”

[jaehyunoos]

- Over it

Summary: You always preached about getting over your ex, real fast. But what if you haven't and you've been lying to yourself all along?

Genre: Breakup!au, angst, a tiny bit of fluff at the end

Tw?: Alcohol consumption, a mention of reader wanting to unalive herself, reader is lying to herself as a coping mechanism???

Pairing: Lee Jeno x fem!reader (brief mentions of Haechan)

Word Count: 1.7k (it's the longest I've ever written lmfao)

Author's Note; Angsty queen or what?? lmao,, HAPPIEST BIRTHDAY TO THE LOVE OF MY LIFE JENO !!!! also, my requests are open if you want to request anything I will deliver <3 if you read this I love you and thank you for reading !! Enjoy 💚

You were over him. You were sure of that. After breaking up you did absolutely everything to get him out of your mind and surprisingly enough, it worked. You got a new haircut, started a new job, took care of yourself better, and made new friends. Life was a piece of cake for you when he left, everything came to a lot easier, in which you were thankful for that. You had moved on once and for all... Or so you thought.

Finding yourself looking back at times you were with him, how happy he made you, how much of a gentleman he was, how he made you feel like you were high; above everyone, and how much pleasure he gave you, you were his muse.

Slapping yourself out of your trance, you promised yourself to not think about him anymore. This night was going to be all about you and you only. Not Jeno -hell- not even a hundred Jenos couldn't stop you from having fun tonight. You were over him and that was final.

Walking into the house; which the party was hosted. Nose filing with the writhing stench of pure alcohol, mixed with sweat, you internally gagged passing by a couple making out at the kitchen entrance, you rolled your eyes taking a beer from the fridge and making your way out to the sofa. No way you would get out of this party sober, you had to drink, you had to get wasted. In honor of this prick; Lee Jeno, your ex.

You always boasted about how you were over him and how you didn't love him anymore. How he hurt you so bad that your feelings for him just stopped. You were so full of yourself, wow you had gotten over a relationship that you thought would be tough to manage, what a surprise. But seeing him walk into this house -powerfully so- with a lady by his side smiling and hugging his friends, you started to rethink everything you've done so far.

Were you really over the one and only; Lee Jeno? Or was all of this just a front, a new way of coping without him in your life? How did you manage to lie to yourself and believe it?

You know what they say; fake it 'till you make it. But did you? Did you make it? No, the fuck you did not. You were not over him. And you wouldn't be able to get over him, ever. Today marks the day you realized you didn't move on, putting one and two together you realized that all this time you were lying to yourself, and everyone around you. The hypocrisy.

Chugging the liquid down your throat, along with the betrayal you felt, the cold liquid cooling off your insides, making you feel a lot better at that moment. You smiled to yourself, alcohol made you feel free, your coping mechanism of a real escape once in a while. You got up to your feet, straightening your clothes, you made your way to the kitchen once again. You made sure you walked past them in long, powerful strides, grabbing your beer and exiting the kitchen, the same way you entered.

You glanced at them, seeing as he didn't even spare a glance at you, you sulked on the sofa. You couldn't stop thinking about the way he held her, by her waist, as if she was something so delicate; so fragile that if he held her in his arms for too long, she would break and disappear from his arms. You wanted to cry at that moment, he looked so happy. Maybe he truly was, maybe he didn't lie to himself like you did, and he was truly over you.

Or maybe he wasn't, you liked to cope with that idea. That he was putting up a front for you and everyone, that he didn't move on from you, but only the pained ones can dream, am I right? You wanted to dip at that moment, hide forever; or die. You shouldn't have come to this party, ever. Maybe if you stayed home and kept lying to yourself that you were happy, that you were able to live your life better without him. But at the same time, you wanted to get up and give him a good old slap into his handsome face.

How could he move on that fast? Get a new girlfriend, just like that, as if you never meant anything to him, ever. A person sitting beside you, suddenly, took you out of your train of thoughts.

"Hyuck!!, hey!" you breathed out.

Lee Donghyuck aka; Haechan. One of Jeno's best friends aka; your emotional support boy, was there with you, in all your crazy times after your breakup with him. "Hey, babydoll" he came closer to your face so you could hear what he said. Babydoll. The nickname he created after he, unexpectedly, caught you crying over baby dollies once, while he was over for late nights talks.

"What are you doing here all by yourself, mi querida?" asked, him.

"I'm trying to have as much fun as I can, I have so much to do this week" you let out a fake sigh, you had no work, no classes this week. You were just creating excuses because you were gonna spend those 7 days crying yourself to sleep and eat ice cream 'til you throw up.

Haechan threw an arm around you "he's here you know" he motioned towards Jeno and his crew with his chin, you looked over there for a second, catching a glimpse of Jeno smiling. You looked down at your red solo cup, sighing, "I know, what can I do about it" you looked at his eyes this time. "it's his birthday today".

"I know, how could I forget" you smiled.

"Maybe, I don't know, go there and wish-"

"ooookay time to get up and dance" you patted his thigh as you got up.

"Gosh, why are you so stubborn, I asked you to wish him a happy birthday, not fuck him, for god's sake!!" Haechan shot up from the sofa.

You stood there for a second, frozen, what was this outburst?

"Are you out of your mind!? He's clearly over me Hyuck, and as much as I wanna go up there and give him the biggest hug I can't. I can't just barge into his life back again and be like "heeey" as if nothing ever happened between us, as if we didn't hurt each other!"

You didn't mean to burst out like that, he probably heard what you said in fact; everyone did. Tears gathering in your eyes, you ran outside, the embarrassment too much to handle. You felt overwhelmed. You felt as if everyone was pushing you all this time and you -just now- had finally reached your breaking point.

Sitting on a bench near the pool, you let your sadness, frustration, regret, lies; everything takes over you as you sobbed into your hands. You felt stupid for crying over something so small, you felt bad because Haechan was probably somewhere beating himself up for pushing your limits. You didn't mean to be that sensitive.

You suddenly felt movement beside you as if someone sat there. You took your face out of your hands and looked at the person. Gasping, you wiped your -now wide- eyes and sat straight. There was none there besides the one and only, yeah you guessed it; Lee Jeno. "Do you mind if I sit here?" he gave you a soft smile.

'It's okay, you can sit, I guess" you cleared your throat.

You looked at him as he stared straight into the sky, a soft smile displaying on his lips as he rocked himself gently, back and forth. Mimicking his position, you did the same as you looked to the front, enjoying the cold breeze. "What happened to us?" you heard him speak, you turned to him, shrugging, "I don't know".

"it's like one minute we were in love and the other we were not"

you frowned.

"true, it's just one of us stopped loving the other for good but the one who thought that she had everything under control, turns out she's still madly in love, with the other" you smiled at him.

What you said caught him off guard, his eyes went wide in shock, but he quickly recovered. "Look, don't get me wrong I loved you; a lot, heck I might still love you. No, scratch that I am still in love with you, but, I'm in a very happy and healthy relationship and I want to keep it that way" you felt yourself tense up at the word 'relationship' but you quickly covered it up with a smile "it's okay Jeno, I get it, I never really expected anything after our breakup anyways" you patted his shoulder as you continued looking at the stars in the sky.

"Hey, Jen" you called out to him.

"Hm?"

"Can I get a last hug?" you looked at him.

"Come here" he motioned as he opened his arms to engulf you in a hug.

That's what it felt like hugging your whole world.

Finally. She felt as if she found her peace again. Her safe haven. After all the pain, the drama and deceit, the chaos and despair, there was rest. She felt once again the warmth and safety of his arms and how his hands held her as if he had known her all her life. She was finally home.

"She felt as if she found her peace again. Her safe haven." But that only would last that long as Jeno had to go back home to the safety of the arms of his girlfriend, and she had to go back to an empty home, an empty world, cause that's what her world felt like without him; empty. She wanted him back in her arms, she needed to be in his arms, but it was too late for that as Jeno went back to his girlfriend and she had to go back home, full of regrets. She was not over him and she chooses to ignore it and the more she ignored it the more further away Jeno slipped from her arms to the arms of another.