#hi yes i hope this is okay with you okay hi ily <3< /div> Explore tagged Tumblr posts

[synvil]

if ur up for it maybe a smutty part 2 for the tiktok trend where reader doesnt say ily back? have a great day!!

say it back pt. 2 // bf! rafe cameron

a/n: my first request!! thank you anonnie! (☆´3｀) i hope you enjoy, even if it’s pretty short!

synopsis : rafe teaches you to think twice before playing a prank.

warnings : nsfw ahead! penetration, crying, spanking, cum swallowing, etc.

tiktok trends masterlist !

“screw that, i’ll spend the next couple hours pounding those three words into your damn mind so you won’t ‘forget’ again.”

“w-wai—“ ignoring your protests, you gasp when he suddenly brings his hands down to the waistband of your bottoms and rips them down your legs without hesitation. “rafe!”

rafe unbuckles his belt and lowers his slacks just low enough to let his already hardening erection spring free. at the sight of you backing up, trying to appease him by raising your hands defensively and explaining, rafe growls low and grips onto your ankle and drags you down the edge of the couch before flipping you onto your stomach, pulling your hips so your ass hung in the air.

and that’s how you spent the next hour, your face a teary, drooling mess as your cry out endlessly, your arms behind your back, wrists pinned together by rafe’s hand as he pounds into your pretty little pussy mercilessly, his other hand recording the sight.

“great, barry’s callin’. how should i explain to him for my absence, hm?” rafe condescendingly smirks as he waves his phone in your direction. “should i answer the call and let him hear the reason why?”

your breathing is ragged but you slur a weak, whimpered no, pleading for him to deny the call. “r-rafey.. ‘m sorry! please-“

rafe grunts, unamused at your apology as he tosses the phone onto the cushion beside your head, the device still vibrating due to barry’s calling. “too late. should’ve thought about the consequences, sweetheart.” rafe mocks, his hand delivering a sweet sounding smack across your cheeks as he thrust his hips deep against yours, making you moan loudly, your body trembling from the nth orgasm in the last hour.

rafe could feel his climax approaching, his own breathing becoming heavier as he groans out, feeling his hips pick up the pace.

“do you remember what you say to me, now?” you’re too exhausted and a blubbering sobbing mess, breasts and body shaking with every thrust he gives to register his words. upon no answer, rafe spanks you again making you cry out and jump. “i asked you a question, darling.”

“y-yes; i remember!”

rafe squeezes the flesh in his hand and he grins. “you gonna play that little joke on me again?”

“n-no, i promise- i won’t ever again.”

taking your words as genuine, rafe suddenly pulls out and pulls on your body to bring you to the ground and guides your head to his throbbing cock. “prove it. be a good girl and do your job.”

understanding what he needed, you fall to your knees and bring your lips to his tip and lick it, before fully wrapping your mouth around him and rafe hitches a breath.

his hand jerks himself for a few minutes before he slips a moan out of his lips and seconds later, his cum spurts into your mouth, you instinctively swallowing every drop.

he pants lightly before pulling out and crouching down, cupping your cheek lightly. “you alright, sweetheart?”

you sniffle, wiping your eyes free from your tears and you nod, looking up at him and he smiles softly, using his thumb to wipe any stray ones.

“i’m sorry if i went a little too rough, baby.” he murmurs and you shake your head. “i’m okay, rafey.”

“good. i love you, [name].”

“i love you more, rafe.”

a/n : not edited!! but thank you so much for the request anon, i hope you liked it and i apologize it’s so short!! feel free to request more <3

[mariasont]

Sending another thought that I can’t think of a way to elaborate on to your magnificent mind

Aaron Hotchner with his assistant who’s rambling (like every other day) about random stuff and she’s just like “I want kids someday” and Hotch is like “oh yea?” And she’s like “yea! And if I ever have kids I hope they’re just like Jack, he’s such a little angel” blah blah blah and poor Hotch is screaming in his mind like YOU COULD HAVE JACK??? BE HIS STEPMOM????

Sorry I’m absolutely feral for them ily bye

BUSINESS OF MAKING BABIES - A.H

a/n: i took this in a slightlyyyy different direction but ugh same im so feral for these two!!!! thank you for your most amazing request! i <3 you!

masterlist

pairings: aaron hotchner x bimbo!assistant!reader

warnings: references to baby making!!!!!!

wc: 0.6k

Aaron needed to get work done, but his focus was more trained on the delicate patch of skin that connected your shoulder to your neck, smooth and glowing like you'd just stepped out of the sun. You smelled delectably good, which was sending his neurons into overdrive. You were saying something, formulating and articulating thoughts from that perfect brain and through your also perfect mouth. 

He was concentrated on making sure you knew he was listening, nodding and humming every so often as you continued on your tangent, hands waving dramatically through the air, heels clanking on the floor in his office as you paced the room. His gaze moved to your thighs, only for a second, he was a gentleman after all. 

"And she's just, you know, popping them out left and right, and I'm over here like, Hello? Can I get a turn? I'm not asking for much, just a sweet guy who's willing to, you know, help me out with the whole baby-making thing."

You stopped dead in front of his desk, placing your hands atop the wood as you let out a melodramatic sigh. This caught his attention, eyes snapping up to meet yours.

"You want kids?" The words left his mouth before he could filter them. "Isn't that a bit premature at your age?"

"Okay, Grandpa," you giggled, plopping yourself down in the chair before him. "And, of course, I want babies. They'd be the cutest, hopefully just like Jack. He's the sweetest, isn't he?"

Hotch felt his heart plummet to his stomach, jaw clenching and unclenching as he rubbed his thumb along the rough edges of his chin. "Yeah, he's pretty great."

You sighed again, a common occurrence in this conversation, as you stood up and moved around the desk before plopping yourself down on it. Your calve grazed accidentally against his thigh. You absentmindedly adjusted a wrist full of charm bracelets, creating a gentle jingling sound that should've annoyed him, but it did anything but.

"Honestly, though, who even needs a boyfriend these days? I could totally just take the whole donor route for the baby thing. Easy-peasy!"

Hotch's response came after a brief, flustered pause, during which he seemed to search for the right words. Clearing his throat, he managed to look anywhere but at you as he carefully said, "Ah, yes, I suppose you could... do that."

In an effort to regain some semblance of control over the situation, Hotch took a deliberate sip of the somewhat stale coffee sitting on his desk. However, before he could swallow, you bounded off the desk, eyes wide with sudden realization.

"You know what? You would be a great donor."

The coffee in Hotch's mouth nearly made a swift exit as he choked, trying to comprehend what you had just said.

Hotch opened his mouth, attempting to form a coherent response, but before he could broker a single word, you had both hands on his shoulders.

Your eyes were sparkling as you took in his face. "Yeah, like, you have great hair--totally not receding--perfect eyes, great skin..."

Your rapid-fire compliments left him momentarily speechless, a rare flush making its way to his cheeks.

"Well, I--" Hotch began, but your excitement had already taken the reins before he could even navigate through his thoughts.

"I can totally see it; we'd have such cute kids!" you gushed, practically dancing towards the door as if your dreams were almost tangible in the air.

Hotch watched you leave, stuck in his chair, dumbfounded and momentarily lost for words. A bemused smile formed on his lips as he realized he didn't hate the idea at all.

No sooner had the door closed behind you than Morgan appeared, looking thoroughly baffled. He crossed his arms over his chest, his gaze flicking between Hotch and the door you had just exited through.

"Since when are you and Miss Pretty in Pink in the business of making babies together?"

taglist: @readergf @edencherries @aurorsworld @princess76179 @malindacath @freyy253 @broadwaytraaaaash @sunfyyre @sleepysongbirdsings @trulycayla @crouchingapple @navia3000 @aaronlovesava @bakugocanstompme @pansexualhailstorm @averyhotchner @looking1016 @everythinglizzy @sky2nd @messylxve @alexxavicry @yaykeira @spencerssatchel @candyd1es @storiesofsvu @pleasantwitchgarden @kodzukenmaaa @hiireadstuff @dilflover-3 @spenciesslut @phoenix-le-danseur-de-pole @deadofnight0 @sabmichell @jstcln @just-here-to-read13 @c-losur3 @wondergal2001

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[latenightdaydreams]

Trucker!König x Stranded!Reader (fem)

MDNI🔞

Part 2 🚚, Part 3, Part4, Part5

🚫MASSIVE TRIGGERS FOR DARK THEMES!!!🚫 If this is disturbing for you please turn back now. Your mental health is important and I hope you have an amazing day even if you keep scrolling! ily all! I hope you are all well and please take care of yourselves! You matter 💗

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Master List

>cw: fem/afab, oral, cum play, non-con somnophilia, non-con, sleeping pills, kidnapping, non-con recording

2.3k word count

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“Fuck!” You shout slamming the hood of your car down. On your way through the countryside on a road trip, your car decided to break down. You’re in a foreign country, the sun is setting, and having no one to help leaves you feeling overwhelmed and defeated. You sit back in your car and begin to cry. In your mind driving solo across Europe was going to be a piece of cake, yet here you are because you tried to save money and got a piece of shit car.

The sound of a semi-truck braking gets your attention as you look into your rear-view mirror to see a blue truck had pulled off and stopped behind you. In a hurry you pull down your visor to check yourself as you wipe tears away and try to relax your face. You close it just in time to see a massive man jump out of the cab of the semi and walk in your direction. A wave of fear rushed over you as you realized you have no items for self-defense on you.

 A knock on the driver’s side window, and the tall trucker steps back and stares at you with piercing blue eyes. Taking a deep breath, you open the car door and step out. His eyes look you up and down.

“Are you stranded?” His voice is smooth with a thick Austrian accent.

“Yes, I am.” Your voice cracks from the nervousness you’re feeling. He is built like a tank and like, really fucking tall.

He gives you a small nod before extending his hand to you, “I’m König.”

“Y/n,” you grab his hand and shake it. His hand is massive and swallows yours.

“You’re not from here, are you?” He gives you a warm smile trying to be nice.

“I’m not…”

“Do you have anyone here you can call?” The question seems innocent enough.

“No, I don’t. My phone has no signal either.”

“Hm,” König looks at your car and then to you once more. “Well, I can’t possibly leave you here alone, especially with it getting dark... where were you heading?”

“I was heading to the German border.”

“Hm, that’s a six-hour drive Maus.”

“It’s okay if you can’t-”

“I can, I’m heading that way. I’ll drive you as close as I can get and help you get set up with a ride in.” He gives you such a genuinely warm smile that you feel your guard beginning to drop.

“I- I really appreciate that, König.” You turn to go to your car and open the back seat to grab two small suitcases out.

“I’ll grab those for you Fräulein.” König walks behind you and gently reaches past you to grab your bags. The sweet vanilla body lotion you’re wearing catches his attention and he tries to take a deep breath as discreetly as he possibly can.

You back away, slightly bumping him. “Oh, sorry. Thank you so much König. You’re like a God send.”

He smiles back at you while holding your bags and closing the car door, “Is this all there is?”

“Yes, that’s it.” You two begin to walk towards the semi-truck as you look around the farm land.

Once to the truck König opens the door for you and helps you climb into the cab, his hand grazing your butt seemed innocent enough so you brush it off. It was most definitely not innocent. He is simply testing your boundaries and seeing how you’d react.

You set you bag down on the floor as König walked around to the driver’s side. He walks to the back of the cab and puts your bags on his small bed back there. He finally sits in the driver seat and looks over at you.

“Are you ready to go?” He asks in a gentle voice.

“Yeah,” you look out at the car that broke down on you feeling slightly sad.

“Don’t worry about that car,” König says, noticing your sad gaze. “I will help you out, I promise. I can’t leave a young woman stranded.” His smile is so warm and genuine, but the look in his eyes shows he has different motives with you.

As he pulled back onto the road König found himself checking you out. His eyes are drawn to the curve of your breast in your tight shirt and the way your thighs look as you sit down in the seat. He was going to have fun with you.

“So, where are you originally from?” He asks, keeping his eyes straight ahead.

You answer and explain how you have always wanted to visit Europe so on impulse you decided to come.

“A bit far from home aren’t you Maus?” He asks with a sly smile on his lips. “Do you even have any friends or contacts in any of these countries?”

“No, I don’t.” You shake your head not realizing these are questions you shouldn’t be answering truthfully.

“That’s a shame, you could get hurt out here. Good thing I came across you and not some… pervert.” He turns his gaze from the road to you and looks at how your breasts bounce with every bump he hits. He couldn’t wait to see what they actually look like, but in his head, he is running through every possibility.

“Yeah…thank you so much for all of your help. Really. I was about to give up and go back home.” You giggle softly.

Your giggle was so genuine and soft. Your lips look tender and kissable. He wanted to see how your lips look wrapped around his cock or sucking on his full nut sack.

“That would have been a shame, it’s good to explore. See the world and expand your horizon.” He says it so casually as if he isn’t thinking of shoving your head down on his dick and making you give him road head. I wonder if she does anal…

You both drive while having small talk. Innocent topics like your hobbies, home life, any little question he can drop to get more information out of you. The sun was now completely set and König noticed your eyes becoming tired as the drive went on.

“If you need to rest, there’s a small bed in the back. It’s not much, but if I can sleep on it, you’ll do just fine.” There’s a friendly chuckle in his tone as his eyes look over at you. Watching as you turn in the seat and look into the dark tiny cab with the bed. His eyes trailing up and down your legs before going back up to your eyes.

“Oh,” you couldn’t explain this feeling in your gut. It was as if it were screaming at you, telling you no and that you should stay awake. You really shouldn’t even be in this truck. Shoving those feelings to the side and excusing them as anxiety, you look back at König.

“Don’t worry, y/n, I don’t bite.” König says with a big smile revealing his sharp K9s. “You’ll be safe with me.”

You nod your head as you begin to stand and walk to the back, it was dark so you used your hands to guide you back there. It was simple since it’s a small space. Taking your bags off the bed and setting them on the floor, you lay down and rest your head on the pillow. Grabbing the thin blue blanket on the bed to cover yourself, you feel so happy to be in a bed, even if its this tiny.

König turns his head slightly to look back at you. It has been ten minutes so he wanted to know if you were asleep or not. 

“You settled in alright back there?” He waits to see if he hears your voice.

“No…” Your voice meek as if you feel bad you can’t fall asleep.

“Would you like a sleeping pill Maus?” Please say yes, please say yes, please say yes… “My doctor gave them to me to help with the uncomfortable sleeping situation.” He chuckles softly. That was a bold face lie, he got them from his handy dandy street dealer for a moment like this.

You know it isn’t smart to take medication from others, especially prescribed and from a stranger. You hesitate for a moment trying to think of your answer.

“Here,” he opens up a small pill organizer with one hand and holds them out for you to grab. His eyes are straight ahead still on the road.

You slowly get up and grab one, “Thank you.”

“You can take a sip of my water. I promise I have no gross germs.” He laughs, his laughs so warm and welcoming.

You take the sleeping pill and thank him again. Returning to the tiny bed in the back of the cab you try to get as comfortable as you can. You keep your eyes open for a while, looking at the little bits of König and the road you can see from the angle. By the time I wake up we should be close to the German border, and I’ll be able to continue on my way. This is just for a few hours…just…a few…more…

Twenty minutes pass as König continues to drive. There is a truck stop coming up where he can refill and where he’d usually rest. He looks over his shoulder at you again, “You still awake?” He asks rather loudly.

No response.

“Are you asleep?” He asks again at the same loudness, no response. “Perfect.”

König pulls into the truck stop as usual. He pulls up to the gas station and gets out of the semi to refill the tank and make sure all his wheels are in good condition. He buys you a drink and something to eat when you wake up from the concession area inside before you pay. He grabbed himself another water and a snack as well. Casually he got back to the truck and drove it around back to the parking lot where truckers can park and sleep for the night. He took his time setting up the window covers and making sure the doors were locked and safe. Standing in the now total darkness of the cab, he looks in your direction.

“Hey,” he said, lightly shaking your leg to see if you would wake up. You didn’t. Good.

He pulls his cell phone out of his pocket and pulls the blanket off of you. His hand caresses the curve of your waist, hip, and ass slowly taking his time to enjoy the way the curves feel. His hand wrapping around your ass and squeezing.

He turns on the light from his phone and illuminates the small cabin. He crouches down beside you and gently pushes your body back so you’re lying on your back now. His hand gently runs under your shirt and caresses the soft skin of your abdomen. His hand reaching up and cupping your breast over your bra. He lets out a soft sigh as he withdraws his hand.

“You’re so beautiful Maus, so beautiful…” He says as he slowly begins to pull your pants down. He opens the photo app on his phone and begins to take photos of your exposed body, only your panties and bra to cover you.

As he continues to shine a light on you, he pulls your bra down and records himself gently shaking your breast and caressing your nipples until they harden. He leans in and begins to suck on each nipple, making sure it’s all on camera. With his free hand he rubs the erection that is growing in his pants.

Pausing the recording he stands and undoes his belt buckle and then his pants, pulling them down to around his ankles. He releases his aching cock, a bead of precum dripping from the pinkish red tip. He picks back up the phone and points the camera back at you as he jerks off over your body.

His loud pants being picked up on the camera as he stops occasionally to rub your pussy through the fabric of your underwear, feeling a wet spot begin to form, or play with your breast before continuing to pump his fist on his cock.

You remain asleep, completely unaware of what was going on as König kneeled into the bed a little and scooped your drool up with the head of his cock, gently rubbing his tip over your soft lips. He spread your drool around the tip of his cock and used it as a lube for himself. He slapped your lips with his cock twice before gently trying to push it inside of your mouth. He moved his hand from around his cock to your jaw to hold it open as he slid himself in. His breathing shakes as he feels the wet heat of your mouth.

He slowly bucks his hips forward into you as he inches his cock in your mouth little by little. “Ja, that’s my good little Hure.” He moans out, his free hand traveling to your breast and squeezing your breast.

“Oh fuck,” König quickly moves his hand back to his cock as he begins to cum. He pulls out slightly so he can cum on your lips and in your mouth. His breathing heavy and he moans your name. Releasing his full balls completely on to you he smiles at his artwork. He slaps his cock on your lips a few more times before scooping it up with his cock and shoveling it into your mouth, making you eat all of his cum.

König stops recording once he is done and puts the phone down on the bed and he picks his pants back up. He would usually have his fun and drop the girl off somewhere safe, but you… you’re so beautiful. Your tits are perfection and he didn’t even get to try that pussy yet. You’re the type of woman that would never even give him the time of day outside of these circumstances. He’s keeping you. You’re his now.

Part2, Part3, Part4, Part5

[certifiedlovergirlsstuff]

maybe a lil fic with steve yk like he thinks you're together but r just thinks that they're just friends cuz she thinks he acts that way with everyone (he doesn't). so when he's like "we're going on that dinner date, right?" and she's just so confused and flabbergasted "since when did we start dating??"

I've missed your writing on my dashboard ily<3

i’m glad someone misses my writing. i hope this is okay🩷

steve harrington x fem!reader (this ended up being long… i’m shocked)

masterlist

“here comes loverboy.”

your brows pinched together at max’s words. looking over your shoulder to see steve leaving the register, heading back towards your booth with a pastel pink box in hand.

the boy slid into the open seat beside you. shoulder to shoulder and thigh to thigh. his warmth radiating off his body blankets you from the february chill that seeps into the diner’s walls.

“what’s in the box?” robin questioned while making a grab for it. steve quickly slapped- gently tapped- the approaching hand away. robin making a scene for no one.

“not for you, buckley. for my favorite girl.” and steve looked directly at you.

“aw, thanks steve-o.” max fawned. a simple giggle slipped from your mouth while steve rolled his eyes. “not for you either, rugrat. only for my favorite, most special girl.” finally sliding the pastry box in front of you.

steve tapped his fingers against the table top, “they had your go-tos so i got one of each.” your cheeks warmed as you opened the top, “you didn’t have to, stevie.”

“yeah, stevie. what about us?” robin pointed between her and max, a twisted pout to her face.

steve eyed them, “what about you two? get your own stuff.” huffing like they were insane to think steve would do anything of that level for them.

eyeing the different options you grabbed a donut and proceeded to spilt the item into four small bites. handing off two for max and robin, replacing them with another two, one for you and the other for steve. hand waiting for steve, he wrapped his fingers around your wrist delicately as he bites into his awaiting treat. you chuckle at the silliness.

“you too are gross.” robin declared with her mouth full. steve copied her actions, “says you. close your mouth while chewing.” placing his hand over his mouth in after thought.

“so,” speaking up to change the subject, “any nice plans this week?” referring to valentine’s day on wednesday.

“lucas says he’s taking me some place special, which might be the arcade.” max played it cool but you could tell it affected her in a good way.

“band practice is my special valentine. can’t complain too much.” robin punctuated her sentence with a sip of water.

“what’s the dynamic duo gonna do on the day of love?” max teased, batting her lashes while cupping her cheeks.

you shrugged, “don’t think we have plans-“ “yes we do.” steve is quick to fix you misunderstanding.

there was a surprised spark in your eyes, “we do?”

steve’s brows furrowed, “yeah. i told you about the dinner date i scheduled.” now your bows scrunched, “yeah, but i thought you were going on a date.”

steve leaned towards you, “i am. with you.” punctuation on those two words, letting every letter hit you in the face.

you sat shell shocked, eyes focused over steve’s shoulder while robin and max almost jumped from their vinyl seats.

“for real?” “since when were you dating?”

at the word dating you shook away any incoming thoughts and waves away their curiosity. “we’re not dating. we’re just friends. steve’s like this with everyone.” knowing that would end any discussion.

three sets of eyes stared you down, you wanted to shrink into the ground from the attention. “what?” a squeak at their baring eyes.

“steve is only sugary sweet to you. do you not remember five minutes ago? when he bought you treats, without you asking, then told me and max to fuck off.” robin questioned.

“language-“ “i didn’t say that-“

max waved you both off, “whatever. what robin is trying to get at is, you are dating. steve openly flirty banters with you, you reciprocate in a flustered mess, and steve has hearts beaming from his corneas.” max’s palms smack onto the table.

your mouth opened, then closed. open, close, open, close. “i just,” you hands flapped about, “i- i thought he just- you know…”

“no we don’t, but please, tell us.” robin eyed you wolfishly.

anxiously you pinched the skin around your fingers, teeth biting into your bottom lip, eyes darting everywhere not knowing what your next move was.

“alright, enough teasing. let’s just get everyone home.” steve broke the silence. sliding out beside you then holding a waiting hand out, you couldn’t help but just to stare at it, like it might bite you or something.

“it’s alright, sweetheart. we’ll talk later.” soft, kind filled brown eyes watched your movements as you set your palm to his and he help you exit the booth smoothly. steve gave a squeeze before releasing his hold and your chest felt heavy again.

he called you sweetheart. he usually throws pet names about, but this one just felt… different. your brain connected to it differently.

robin and max were silent on the drive to their houses, radio at medium volume, but they kept the backseat of the bmw silent as a church mouse.

you could barely look steve’s way, barely glance at him from your peripheral. he didn’t seem tense from your words just… dejected. a gloomy cloud hanging over his head and it’s because you friend zoned him while he thought you both were together.

no chance he wants to be with you now, blew it for yourself before you even had a proper chance. you wallow in silence.

robin was the first to be dropped off. steve came to a slow stop in front of her tiny house, shifting into park so he could look back with a gentle smile, “call if you need anything. and try not to do anything clumsy.”

robin rolled her eyes in a playful manner, “i’ll try not to dad.” and she left with a comforting squeeze of your bicep.

steve waited until robin waved you off an closed her front door. “okay mayfield, home or someplace else?” he always asked when driving her.

“umm, wheeler’s. please.” yeah, she felt sorry about earlier. her please and thank you’s were a bit sparring.

again silence. you wanted to speak, but with max still in the car you held your tongue. pinching at the material of your jeans while eyeing the scenery passing by in a blur, you couldn’t help flinching at the touch of skin covering your own. you looked down cautiously to see steve’s right hand resting over your fidgeting one, stopping your mindless action.

the fifteen minute drive pasted into two minutes when you saw the big two story home come into view. you saw a couple of bikes laying in the front yard and suspected the boys also were invading the family home.

“thanks for the ride. i’ll be fine to get home later.” shuffling mixed with her words before popping the left back door open. a soft thud followed her exit then she stopped outside your window and lightly tapped.

you rolled it down with concern at her sorrow filled expression. “i’m sorry. about earlier. i wasn’t trying to-“

“max,” cutting her off, “it’s okay. i know you didn’t mean harm and plus, might’ve opened my eyes today.” playing coy with your words.

a smile flickered at her lips while her eyes looked over your shoulder. she left with a pep to her step and you were finally alone with your steve.

“so wanna-“ “did you really think we weren’t dating?”

you could help your light chuckle, “getting straight to the point i see.”

steve sputtered, “i just- it felt like we’ve been on multiple dates. and- and we’re very touchy with each other, always there for each other. i just- i just thought we were dating after the trip to chicago.”

that did turn into a pretty romantic trip now that you thought back on certain scenarios. “i think i’m just blind to romantic advances. didn’t think i was your type.” mumbling the last part.

you’ve seen the girls steve’s been with in the past. all perfect, petite, not quite hair out of place and makeup painted over delicate skin. you weren’t those things, you were messy at times, flyaways sticking up from nonexistent static, stains appearing on your clothes without knowing.

you didn’t deserve steve, he deserved someone-

“hey.” a finger crooked under your chin and moved your head from its slumped position. steve homely brown eyes darted over your face, your imperfections. you wanted to flinch away. he must’ve read your mind since her cupped your cheeks with his warm palms.

“you are none of those things i know your thinking too much about. you are completely deserving of being loved deeply and i’m happy to be that person to pour his soul into yours. if you’ll verbally say yes so we’re on the same page this time.”

your own hands wandered to hold onto steve’s wrist, “that was quite romantic of you. didn’t think of you to be a sap.” deflecting a bit from nerves.

steve smiled brightly, “for you i’ll always be a sap. practically turn into honey for you.” leaning over his console to press a kiss onto the tip of your nose. “so what do you say, wanna give us a proper go?”

you bit into your bottom lip, “i guess i could try.” smiling so wide your cheeks ached as steve dotted kisses over your face, not suppressing your giggles of glee.

[churipu]

Idk if u take requests rn, but if you do, could you write fluffy moments with jjk men (pls include toji, i rlly wanna see him w fluff because there is like none) you fav would be cuddling, but you do whatever you want <3 Also, don't stress yourself when writing i, and please take breaks <33

JJK MEN + FLUFFY MOMENTS (๑ > ᴗ < ๑)

featuring. toji fushiguro, gojo satoru, nanami kento x reader

warnings. jjk men being softies

note. i just read the most heart wrenching nanami fic, i think i'm not okay at all </3 but hi anon, thank you for requesting this — this is exactly what i needed after reading angst. i apologize if it took a long time to get this out omg, i hope you like it.

and guys, omg???? 700+ followers? i genuinely never expected my works to be recognized by so much, and meeting new writers here and there, making friends, makes me so happy (i'm not crying) i love u all so so so so much, u guys rock, ily all <;33

TOJI FUSHIGURO

hated talking about the future, but ever since he met you — he rambles about it.

toji has always thought his future was nothing interesting, he kills people for a living, gets money off of it and he gambles. that's about it, so what was there to think about in the future?

meeting you was the firsts to a lot of things in his life.

toji grew up in a loveless household full of anger, and lust for power. which is why he is who he is today. distant, aloof, detached. people tell him he'd be nothing without his strength and face, there is no denying that toji fushiguro has a face card. he knows that.

so when he first met you, all he expected was like every other day. people caring about his face, and only that — and he'd play along although he's had enough of it, but no; you didn't care about all that.

face, money, strength. none of that.

he vaguely remembered the first time you spoke to him: "hey, mind helping me grab that box of cereal?" and he expected you to hit on him after, but you left it at that, muttering out a thanks and then leaving him in the aisle alone.

then for some reason he meets you again, the very next month. asking him the exact same thing, asking for help to take the cereal box which happened to be on the very top of the shelf. god knows why, both you and him just made it a routine every month after that. no communications about meeting and all. you both kind of just, met right in the cereal aisle on one particular day in the month, and then leave.

on the fifth month, he finally asks for your number.

"toji, is that your way of asking me out? because if it is, i'm disappointed."

"maybe."

and then you both kind of just sealed it; you're dating. nothing much changed, every month both you and him still go to the cereal aisle — he still helps you with grabbing the box from the shelf. the only difference was that now the two of you leave together.

toji hates talking about his future. but with you? he could go on for a whole day. he rambles about what he thinks and what he wants in the future with you.

"i wan' to get married. i wan' to marry you," did it caught you by surprise? yes. yes it did, "i wan' to have a family with you, a nice little family. i wan' to have a son so i could throw him around — but a girl is okay too, i can protect her from boys, i'll love them both equally. but i don't think i'll be a good dad to them. i'm scared they won't like me."

"toji, what? where did that come from?"

his back was pressed to your chest as you both lay down on the bed, one of your leg draped over his torso and he has his hand on your plush thigh, squeezing it every once in a while.

"i don't know. just a thought, i never talked about my future with anyone before," his body vibrated as he grunted, leaning his head back a bit, "i just don't think i'll be a good father, y'know?" he squeezed your thigh.

"why do you think so?" you asked him, placing your chin on the crown of his head.

"i just think so."

"stop thinking then," you chuckles, draping an arm around his neck, caressing his throat so softly it made the male shudder under your touch — but he didn't mind, he took comfort under your skin.

"can't." his voice was not stern or bold, it was soft and serene. he laced his fingers with yours, kissing your knuckles gently, "i can't believe 'm saying this, but 'm worried about my future. 'm a little scared."

just the fact he was admitting that he's scared about something was mind boggling, because the toji fushiguro? who kills people? was admitting that he was actually terrified of something, which wasn't even the strongest sorcerer. it's his future.

you were silent, letting him talk because when else would he be able to be like this?

"'m terrified. 'm scared i won't make you happy. what if i don't make you happy? what if my kids hate me?" so many questions that you don't even have the answer to, but you placed your hand over his lips, shutting him up.

toji grumbled, he swiped his tongue over your palm.

"ew!" you laugh, wiping your hand on his shirt, "but why're you suddenly talking about this all? which videos have you been watching again?"

"nothing, can't i think about my own future with you?" he shuffles, turning to face you, prepping an arm under his head as he stares down at you. not in the condescending way — he stared at you with so much desperation for love, he slowly blinks, the glint in his eyes never changing.

"why out of the blue?"

"jus' because."

you poked his cheek, "liar."

he sighs, latching his hand onto your hips, pulling you close. he buries his head into your shoulder in content, "jus' worried about it, i never think about my future in the past. but now — with you, i jus' worry about it because i didn't think i'd make it 'till now."

you chuckled, rubbing the back of his head lightly, "you remember that one time in the park when you see that little boy crying over spilled ice cream?"

he hums softly.

"and you bought him another ice cream, but asked me to be the one to give it to him because you were scared you'd scare him off instead?" you ask him, your fingers tangling with his hair lightly.

"yeah."

"you'll be fine, toji." you tell him.

"y'think so?" he retorts back, squirming a bit.

"i know so."

GOJO SATORU

he has to know about everything that you like, he needs to know why you like them. every. single. thing.

gojo chased after you. you were one tough cookie, he likes a chase. he's so used to people fawning over his looks that when you didn't — he just has to know your name.

the curiosity to know your name ended up pulling him in a spiral of this little thing called "love". gojo swore it was just curiosity, but everyone else besides him thinks otherwise, he promised himself and people around that he didn't like you, he was just, well, curious.

but curiosity doesn't look like that. gojo finds himself asking people about what type of boys you like, and when he finds out about it — he tries his best to be your type. he promised he was just curious.

gojo tries finding out what your favorite flower is, and when he finds out about it, he's out there sending big bouquets of it to you. he promised he was just curious.

gojo tries finding out what your favorite genre of music is, and when he finds out, he listens to them so he could talk about it with you. he promised he was just curious.

gojo tries finding out what your favorite series or movie is, and when he finds out, he watches them all intently so he could talk about them with you and hate on characters together with you. and he still promises that he was just curious.

he was just curious, he kept telling that to himself. so why does it bother him when you were out with another guy? another guy that's not him. not gojo satoru.

gojo asks you about who it was, and when you tell him it's nobody important, he gets upset about it.

"why are you so upset?"

"i'm just..curious."

"it's none of your business."

he left it at that. his whole week was ruined, he couldn't stop thinking about it. about you. and then he finally realizes, he wasn't curious — he was in love. so there he was, in front of your door at two in the morning.

"what?"

"who was that guy?"

"gojo, you're still onto that?" you ask him, tired, "i said it's none of your business. you're here at two just to ask me about that?"

"it's my business because i'm in love with you, damn it!"

gojo was half grateful when you told him it was your distant cousin, but half embarrassed as well. all's well ends well. he gets you in the end, and he doesn't have to worry about anything else — nothing in the world matters to him but you.

"baby, what do you recommend?" was one of the most spoken phrases he has delivered to you.

in restaurants, dessert bars, convenience store, movie theaters, anything you could recommend him, he'd ask for it.

"why do you always ask? don't you have your own preference, satoru? i'm not even sure if you'll like my recommendations though," he smiles at you, tracing small circled on the back of your hand.

"i want to know about everything that you like, and why you like them. i want to know everything about you," you look at him and smiled, honestly, what did we ever do to deserve him?

"why?"

"because i love you." yeah, he wasn't just curious. he's in love. and deep.

NANAMI KENTO

he always orders food that you like, and shares some with you — even if you didn't ask for it.

nanami never expected to be in relationships. in fact, relationships was the last thing in his mind — but when he met you, he just kind of felt attracted. he seeks for your comfort whenever he's tired, and when you weren't there, nanami just sort of drowns in himself until he could see you or hear your voice.

at the beginning of your relationship, nanami was never the one to initiate things because he wasn't an experienced male in relationships. you ask him and he just sort of do it without any other complaints.

but as time goes on, he get the hang of it. what he should do and what he shouldn't — it's adorable, he's started doing things that he never thought he would do in his life, but here he was sitting by your side; peeling apples for you because you wanted them.

"kento, eat some. it's going to be finished by the time you finish peeling every one of them," you joked, your legs on top of his thighs.

nanami hums softly, "it's okay. as long as you like it."

nanami doesn't realize the weigh of his sweet words sometimes, he does it and asks himself to why you were reacting like that. sweet talk is his vocabulary. he says it with no worries, telling you things you've always wanted to hear but never say.

but one thing that always stuck to him and you from the first time you got close up to now was: nanami always orders things that you like. you never understood the reason behind it, and when you tried asking him about it, he just tells you he was craving it.

it didn't seem odd at first — but as time goes on, his whole taste was just an exact copy of yours.

if you get something different than your usual menu, nanami will get your usual menu because he knows damn well that you're going to end up wanting them. although you don't tell him when the food comes, nanami makes it his job to share with you. and that's really sweet of him.

but when you get your usual menu, nanami orders something with elements that you like in them and shares them with you even without you asking for a bite. and not only that, he didn't share a spoonful — he shared a lot.

"ken, you don't have to share with me. i have my own food." you tell him, despite your heart tugging you to just let him share because you were too shy to say that you wanted a bite.

"it's alright sweetheart. i'm a little full." he lies. he ends up snacking on something on midnight, and it's now a routine.

so in exchange for that, you always make it your job to stock up foods ranging from small snacks like biscuits, chips, up to instant or pre-heated food. even cutting up fruits so nanami could snack on it, and he caught on to it pretty quick.

but he didn't complain, he likes it when you do it.

"ken, i cut out some mangoes and dragon fruit. you can eat them if you're hungry."

"thank you y/n."

mutual wins.

© CHURIPU 2023 , DO NOT COPY OR REPOST ANYWHERE

[usagiarchive]

dumb tactics — jing yuan x reader

sypnosis. [ 0.3k words. fluff. established relationship ] — a game, a whistle, a kiss.

usagi's note: i haven't written in a while bcs i was caught up in academics, but i swear ive been cooking, like i have a rlly good upcoming plot so im very excited!! see more of my rambles after the fic, enjoy!!

“Your turn, A-Yuan,” you say as you drop your piece on the board.

It had been another one of those restful afternoons where the two of you simply basked in each other's presence. Today included a game of starchess.

Your lover looked seconds away from falling asleep so you called his name once again.

“Mhm,” he simply hummed, yawned, then moved his piece, “My love, do you know how to whistle?”

You raise an eyebrow, “Whistle…?” you echoed as you moved another piece.

“Yes,” he moves and takes one of your pieces. “I heard from Qingzu that whistling makes birds feel safe enough to rest next to humans,” he says, then stops to listen to the flock of birds you keep in the garden.

“Well yes, I do know how to,” you say as you take a piece of his.

Jing Yuan turns to look at you expectantly, using his signature pleading look.

You roll your eyes as you breathe out a laugh, “Alright, fine,”

You whistle a tune you know and wait for the birds… but nothing… happened?

You turn to look up and find the little creatures, but they just stayed in the trees.

“Yuan, I don't think it's working, maybe I'm doing it wrong, hold on let me try again,” you say as you turn back to him and whistle a different tune when-

He kisses you.

A quick peck and he pulls back with a :3.

Wait-

“Was the whole thing a ruse so you could kiss me?” You ask while just staring at him.

“Forgive me, Lady Bailu had told me something of a similar story earlier this week, I just… simply wanted to try it out,” he says still smiling.

You sigh in exasperation at his antics.

“You do know if you wanted a kiss, you could've just asked me, right?”

“Mm, but where's the fun in that, dear?”

You smiled amusedly, “You should be glad I put up with you,” you tease, “But do spit out my chess pieces, A-Yuan, you're not getting off the hook this time,”

The General turns his face away with a sly look.

“Jing Yuan!”

usagi's note: SO ANYWAY. one of the reasons why ive been so happy this week is bcs i hit my first 200+ cdmg in genshin like im so proud (i have shit builds okay) but like the cr is 37 ish so i think i should get that up to probably 50 or 60%? but im worried the cdmg will drop to the 100s again.

another one is bcs i learned smth rlly cool during my science class, thats is soooo gonna be the theme of the next fic i write, oh and its gonna be w scara btw cuz he's the one i hit the 200+ cdmg with hehe. but im kinda worried i won't be able to finish the outline within this week bcs ive been made head of a few projects especially with our entrepreneurship class so idk we'll see... ANW I HOPE U ENJOYED PLS SEND ASKS ILY ALL BYE THX FOR 150 I CRIED (REAL) !!!

@usagiarchive 2025. do not repost, translate, or use for AI. reblogs, likes, and comments are very appreciated!!

[mysticmoosenger]

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* 𝕗****𝕕 𝕦𝕡 ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*

𝐫𝐢𝐩 𝐦𝐲 𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐫𝐭, 𝐤𝐢𝐬𝐬 𝐦𝐲 𝐧��𝐜𝐤, 𝐭𝐡𝐫𝐨𝐰 𝐦𝐞 𝐨𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐟𝐥𝐨𝐨𝐫 𝐠𝐢𝐫𝐥 𝐦𝐚𝐤𝐞 𝐦𝐞 𝐬𝐰𝐞𝐚𝐭…

synopsis: deciding to ask choso to switch roles!

themes: sub!choso, dom!reader, orgasm denial, edging, nicknames, begging, reader is evil, choso is just a little guy

characters: choso <3 love my boy and hate gege

a/n: hi very happy to be back, excited to write more. everything i’ve written previously is deleted from my page bc i want to start fresh haha. college is destroying my hopes and dreams rn. also, i didnt proofread this like at all and its 4am, so just like, ignore my fuck ups please ily

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。. .・。.・゜✭・.・.

●・○・●・○・●

choso! ur a super freak!

He wont show it, but he is already cumming at the thought of it. He is 110% a switch, but has been taking the dominant role since you seemed so sweet and eager to let him use you to do whatever he pleased.

“baby, I dont know how you feel about it and maybe it’s weird for me to say but… do you mind if I take the lead a little?”

That caught him off guard. Like totally off guard. As he was taking off your shirt his hands froze and his assault on your neck paused, He blinked a few times and asked to make sure thats really what he heard, “…you mean like, you want to be dominant?”

You shyly nod and continue to run your hands through the hair at the nape of his neck, his signature buns starting to unravel, somehow making him even hotter. God, you wanted to eat him alive.

After a few more seconds of processing, he quietly responds, “…yes love”

You feel him slowly kiss the marks he left you on your collarbone, his hands now gently reaching to remove your shirt. As he goes to lift it over your head, he moves back to allow you some space to wriggle the tight material past your shoulders. You catch a glimpse of his face right as he backs up, his face a bright red and his eyes looking glossy, he looks perfectly pitiful. Wow… you never realized how badly you have wanted to do this.

You manage to free yourself from your constricting top, taking off your bra as well. Choso watches you, his eyes following your every move, scanning your body. It’s obvious how down bad this poor boy is for you. You had never expected him to be this eager about switching roles.

The upper half of your clothing now gone, the red LED lights around the border of Choso’s room making your skin look flawless and irresistible. You swear you can see the poor boy drooling over you, waiting for you to order him around, use him, and make him a sobbing mess. He’s sitting in front of you on the bed, his hands tentatively resting on your thighs, staring at you with those sleepy dark eyes. He still had a bit of eyeliner on from earlier in the day, now starting to smudge and give him adorable tear stains. “okay cho… please strip for me baby”, you coo, wanting to mark up that broad muscular chest of his.

He slips his black compression tee over his head in one fluid motion, exposing his perfect abs and those sexy tattoos trailing down them leading to his hips. He stops and begins to run his hands from your waist to your tits, awaiting more instruction, already beet red and breathing fast. His heart is beating so fast that it starts to make him dizzy with lust. “I said strip cho. everything. be a good boy for me okay?”

You have never seen your man this worked up in the entirety of your relationship before. He moves at what seems like lightening speed, tearing off his pants, looking at you for approval as you nod for him to take off his boxers too. His dick springs out with possibly the hardest and angriest boner you’ve ever seen. You motion with your head for him to lay down, crawling on top of him and hovering your clothed pussy over his dripping dick. His eyes begging you to fuck him, he begins to snake his hands around your hips, trying to get you to at least touch him. “no cho, hands up by the headboard.” you say, pulling his wrists together and pinning them above his head. “if you move them I’m not letting you cum today.”

Choso nods immediately, knowing that he’d rather die than not be allowed to finish tonight. You make eye contact and slowly dip down to meet his lips with yours, your hand sliding down his arm from his wrists, gently caressing his muscular tattooed biceps. “you belong to me, got it cho?” you purr against his lips. He lets out an erotic whimper in response, which honestly takes both of you by surprise. You pause and let it replay in your head a few times before saying, “I’m totally breaking you tonight. how did I never know you had such a cute little submissive side?”

You move your hand to gently squeeze his throat and rejoin his lips, tongue grazing gently along his lips, his occasionally meeting yours. And while Choso has a submissive side, he’s still freaky. As you move to pull away, he nips at your bottom lip, making you moan in response, “god I love you.”

You begin to move down his body, leaving little nips and kisses on the way to his beautiful abs. You glance up at his flustered face as you start to fill the gaps between his tattoos with little hickies to mark your territory. “no one else is allowed to see you like this, alright cho? mmmm fuck, no one..” you moan against his skin. You love the idea of your love bites being shown off in his weekly gym pictures.

Choso is squirming, overwhelmed at the sensation of you kissing by his v-line. “..mmm pl-please y/n… ohmygo-d yes pleaseee…” he rambles, his eyes squeezing shut and his eyeliner now officially all over his cheeks, complimenting the long tattoo over the center of his nose. His hair has almost completely fallen out of his buns, now tangled and fanned out around his face. He really does look angelic. And pitiful. You just want to ruin him.

“please what baby? please stop? its too much and i should stop?” you tease as you reduce your love bites to feathered kisses, barely touching his skin. “n-nooo please no i w-want mmore~ please baby y/n p-pleas- oh my go- god fuck!” he begs, his mouth agape and his hips writhing to try to get any pressure remotely to his dick.

You decide that since he has been so good (and you just want to make him a whimpering mess) he deserves a little treat. Your lips ghost down his thigh and to his balls, placing a gentle kiss to them. You quickly suck on your fingers to give them some lube while making sure Choso has a good view, and begin to stroke his shaft. With the way Choso is moaning, you speed up your movements, twirling your fingers over his angry, dripping tip and the end of every motion. Your other arm wraps around one of his thighs, doing your best to pin him in place. His hand slid down sneakily to rest atop your head, lacing his fingers through your hair. Your tongue found a sweet spot towards the base of his balls, eliciting a loud “FUCK oh my- fuck y-yes y/n there!” You continue stroking him and swirling your tongue against his sensitive spots until he is shaking, his hips desperately attempting to buck upwards. Right as he is about to finish, you remove your hands and sit back, away from his cock.

You smile, taking in the gorgeous sight before you. Choso is breathing in loud pants, whimpering and shaking from the abrupt stop of the stimulation. His eyes are teary, his makeup smeared, and his lips are glossy from your kisses. Trailing down, there is a line of love bites leading to his tattoos. His lower abdomen is drenched in slick precum. “baby please p-please keep going~” he begs in between pants.

You giggle slightly sadistically and gently run your fingertips around his v-line and base of his dick. Moving your head up, you give him a sloppy kiss, again inciting cute whimpers from his throat. “cho love, you remember what I said earlier about your hands? Dont think I didnt notice baby…”

Choso lets out a loud moan in protest, begging you for a second chance.

Luckily for him…. the clock just hit midnight.

ending a/n: thank u for reading!! please send in requests my asks are open! or just talk to me!! love u guys and im so excited to be back! :)

[madamechrissy]

hey baby!! currently in war with my PMS so can i req something sweet (and smutty if u wanna, teehee) w/ toji or even sukuna idmmm <3 ILY. take ur time too

(sorry i feel like im living in ur inbox lately)

Hello baby ILY more- ugh PMS is the WORST!

Here's a lil drabble of Toji x reader on her period- sfw mostly just suggestive <3

"Doll, which tampons?" Toji asks on the phone, stuck in an aisle full on confusing ass feminine products, far too loudly, you're curled up in a ball, holding your stomach and sighing.

"Just... ugh, Tampax?"

"What flow or whatever- heavy? Super? Plus?"

"Just any... variety pack?"

"Fuck okay... what else?" He grumbles, throwing several packs in the cart, as he does not want to do this again.

"Chocolate please?"

"Well no shit, figured that - what chocolate, the fancy shit?"

"Please!"

"Maybe the great value-"

"Toji, please, Ghiradelli. I'll make it up to you." Suggestive tones always work on your husband, his cock twitches at the mere thought of your mouth.

"Fine, fine... and ibuprofen?"

"You're the best husband, yes." He's soon home with everything you need, and sees you curled up in a ball, sighing, he hates you in pain. Grabbing two ibuprofen and water he sits next to you, brushing your hair back, tender for such a big gruff man, stirring you awake.

"Got all your offerings, little demon." You giggle a bit, sitting up now, swallowing the meds and then the water, as he bombards you with several fancy chocolates.

"Have I mentioned I love you?" You ask, and he scoffs just a bit, while you're brushing fingers through his inky locks, pressing a kiss on his scarred lip, while he wraps a strong arm around you, you peel open a wrapper and moan, eyes rolling back just a bit.

"Ya gotta look that excited?" He demands, as you lick your lips, his hand brushing under sensitive breasts. "Acting like you're gonna cum from it?"

"Gonna make you jealous?" You tease, licking at the corner of your lip again, when he moans, pressing you down onto your back, spreading your thighs as he sinks between them, kissing you and lapping up the chocolate from your tongue. "Mmm, Toji..."

"Know what's good for cramps?" He murmurs, earning your blush while his big hand presses on your tummy, easing your cramps just b by the warmth.

He presses down your top, kissing your breasts, making you gasp. "A bubble bath-"

"Dick."

"Toji!"

AHA lmaoo I feel Toji would do this. I love you mootie hope you're feeling better!

[sixosix]

m m m m maybe blanket plus yuuta plus hurt/comfort maybe. maybe 🤞

in which rika likes you because yuuta definitely, definitely does.

warnings wc 800, mention of injuries and descriptions of blood !! careful when u read <3 also i took hurt comfort literally BWHAHSAH hope i did your expectations justice nyx ily

5K EVENT SPECIAL | EVENT MASTERLIST

“Yuuta. Yuuuuta.”

Rika’s voice echoed in the quiet hall. Yuuta winced, wishing Rika would keep it down; it was 2 AM, and no one would appreciate being woken up around this hour. But he knew that if he said so, Rika would be sad, and he didn’t want to hurt Rika and cause a worse scene.

“I’m fine, Rika-chan, really,” Yuuta murmured.

Rika growled unhappily. Yuuta, too, knew that he was lying. Although his wounds weren't life-threatening, he still needed to get them treated before they got infected. But Yuuta had just come back to this room—he was so, so tired. Sleeping in wouldn’t hurt anyone but him, right?

“Yuuta!” Rika snapped. It reverberated and shook the walls.

“Shh, Rika-chan,” Yuuta whispered hastily. “Please, our friends are sleeping.”

“Yuuta?” 

Both Yuuta and Rika fell silent, alarmed. That voice certainly wasn’t Rika’s, and it most definitely came from the door.

“Yuuta?” you asked again, followed by a knock. “Are you okay in there?”

“I—I’m—I’m fine!” Yuuta yelped.

“Didn’t you just come back from a mission? Why are you here instead at Ieiri-sensei’s?” Your voice was muffled by the barrier that separated you both, but it was still enough of your voice to have Yuuta’s ears reddening.

“I was! I’m resting now!” Yuuta lied straight through his teeth, embarrassed beyond belief. In truth, he didn’t want to disturb her.

“Yuuta’s a liar!” Rika chose not to stay silent at the worst time. “Liar!”

The door swung open. Yuuta didn’t have enough time to hide a steadily growing red shirt or his pretty much the same face. The air thickened as you drew closer, and Yuuta struggled to tell if it was because of Rika or his reaction to you.

“Okkotsu Yuuta,” you said, deceptively calm. Yuuta felt the hair on the back of his arms rise in alarm. “Yuuta, don’t tell me that the stain on your shirt isn’t from ketchup.”

It was his blood, so Yuuta obediently stayed silent.

You sighed and spun around to leave the room. Yuuta’s chest ached as he watched you leave. His lip trembled, and he looked over to Rika, who seemed to be giving him that same stare of disappointment.

Yuuta shrunk in on himself. “I think I made Y/N mad…”

“Stupid Yuuta,” Rika trilled. “Yuuta is an idiot!”

“I know, I know,” Yuuta cried. “I get it now.”

As he was preparing to wallow, Footsteps emerged once again. You burst into the room with a first aid kit and a stern glare that made the protests die on Yuuta’s tongue. Strangely, Rika was silent.

“Let me see,” you demanded.

Yuuta’s face flamed with embarrassment, but he obliged and tugged on his shirt. Most of the injuries were cuts on his torso that would surely hurt once he showered, but again, it wasn’t anything worth all of this. He braced himself for the stinging pain once the cotton grazed his open wound, but instead, he found himself too flustered by your proximity to even notice you were already working on his wounds.

The room was dead silent, save for Yuuta’s labored breathing. Rika had disappeared; Yuuta chalked it up to him not being in danger anymore. 

“Yuuta, if this happens again, come to my room, okay?” you said softly. 

“I can’t—”

“Yes, you can. I’m asking you to.”

Yuuta deflated. “I can’t just disturb you.”

“I want you to disturb me.”

What a dangerous thing to say. Yuuta’s gaze went sharper. “You don’t mean that.”

“I do.” Your touch was too gentle. You faced Yuuta’s gaze head-on, fearless. “And you would do the same for me. Aren’t you the one being unfair?”

Yuuta sighed. He could never win when it came to you, anyway.

“Thought so,” you mused, carefully pulling his shirt down again. “You should learn how to ask, Yuuta.”

“I’m trying,” he muttered.

You tugged on the blanket folded neatly by his side and draped it over his shoulders. The heat of your touch remained in the blanket's warmth. When you stepped back to grin proudly at your work on a flustered and helplessly endeared Yuuta, you then frowned.

“Hey, where’d Rika go? I thought she wanted to share the blanket.”

“I think she wanted you to share it with me,” Yuuta said before he could think about it.

“Oh.” You blinked. “Is that so? Well, I guess that’s not a bad idea.”

Liar, he could hear Rika’s voice. Well, he never denied it.

Yuuta laid down carefully and lifted an arm from under the blanket. You crawled inside and settled beside him, launching into a ramble about how you were worried sick when Yuuta didn’t return early. He still struggled to ask for what he wanted, so he would settle for this.

[its-avalon-08]

hi and i love ur writing. my ask is a bit specific so bear with me angel! if u could, make it social media style? if not thats okay! can you write an imagine where the reader is lando's sister and she is one of the mclaren engineers. she is the similar age as logan sargeant. they are secretly dating. herself and logan start soft lanuching. include driver reactions. thanks alot!!!

american boy and his sassy norris

{social media files}

*ೃ༄*ೃ༄*ೃ༄*ೃ༄*ೃ༄*ೃ༄*ೃ༄*ೃ༄*ೃ༄*ೃ

y/nnorris just posted!

liked by oscarpiastri, logansargeant and others

y/nnorris funny day (tagged : logansargeant)

2,446 comments

landonorris who tf is that.

→ lestappenismyfav omg fight fight fight

→ oscarpiastri @y/nnorris pls make this stop, he's searching for hitmans

danielricciardo @y/nnorris hope u enjoyed

→ y/nnorris @danielricciardo you totally acting as if you didn't keep asking for my location 2000 times?

→ landonorris why did danny know? DANNY WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME?

logansargeant looks fun

→ y/nnorris it was

→ maxieboy ariana what are u doing here?

alexandrasaintmleux sweetums <3

→ y/nnorris ily alex <3

landonorris pick up ur phone

→ y/nnorris no

→ maxverstappen1 lando is coming towards u with a knife run pls..

→ charles_leclerc y/n who is the guy im so lost

˗ˏˋ꒰ 🍒 ꒱˗ˏˋ꒰ 🍒 ꒱˗ˏˋ꒰ 🍒 ꒱˗ˏˋ꒰ 🍒 ꒱˗ˏˋ꒰ 🍒 ꒱˗ˏˋ꒰ 🍒 ꒱˗ˏˋ꒰

logansargeant just posted a story!

{ caption : prettiest i know }

story replies :

oscarpiastri double date, me lily and you y/n, tmr night dinner

landonorris why does that look like y/n OH BOY YOU MOTHERFUCKING EAGLE BOY U BETTER NOT BE DATING MY LITTLE SISTER

y/nnorris aw bubs ily, lando is having a heart attack isn't he?

˗ˏˋ꒰ 🍒 ꒱˗ˏˋ꒰ 🍒 ꒱˗ˏˋ꒰ 🍒 ꒱˗ˏˋ꒰ 🍒 ꒱˗ˏˋ꒰ 🍒 ꒱˗ˏˋ꒰ 🍒 ꒱˗ˏˋ꒰

y/nnorris just posted !

liked by landonorris, logansargeant and others

y/nnorris pledging my allegiance to the flag of mclaren (and yes i am making fun of the american boy <3)

2,446 comments

landonorris im not angry pls pick up the phone

→ y/nnorris ok fine don't beg you look desperate

→ carlossainz @y/nnorris he's been whining for three hours

logansargeant why must u be the bully

→ y/nnorris @logansargeant pookie ily

→ loganpookielover GOALS I LOVE

maxverstappen1 P misses u <3 come over soon

→ y/nnorris coming over nowwww

→ kellypiquet ❤️❤️❤️

alexandrasaintmleux smartest girl i know <333

→ y/nnorris marry me

→ charles_leclerc y/nnorris get out now. she's mine

˚ ◌༘♡ ⋆｡˚ ꕥ˚ ◌༘♡ ⋆｡˚ ꕥ˚ ◌༘♡ ⋆｡˚ ꕥ˚ ◌༘♡ ⋆｡˚ ꕥ˚ ◌༘♡ ⋆｡

logansargeant and y/nnorris posted a story!

{caption - hard launch <3} {caption - met my forever}

🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️

i hope you enjoyed! happy reading <3 do send in more requests! as for pre existing requests- im working on it! lots of love ava

🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️

[ssentimentals]

hello ily 🫶🏻 can i ask for soft prompt 29 + joshua please? 🥹

hi pretty, love you back!! thank you for requesting, hopefully you will like it! 💜

fluff prompt: 'if i ever lost you, i'd fall apart.'

you glance worriedly at your boyfriend, who's been pretty silent since the moment you got discharged from the hospital. joshua is not a very talkative guy, but it's rare for him to be this quiet too especially in your presence. his hand that usually is locked with yours when he drives is now gripping the steering wheel and it's.. baffling. a bit upsetting too, to be very honest. you try to remember if something happened during the last hour, but you can't latch on anything that could've made him like this. 'shua?' you call quietly. 'is everything alright?'

he quickly glances at you before focusing back on the road. 'yes, sweetheart. are you alright? nothing hurts anymore, right?'

you nod before hesitantly continuing: 'i am okay. you look a bit tense, that's why i asked if you're alright.'

joshua doesn't answer, not outright. it takes several minutes for him to find the correct words and he starts explaining during the red light: 'all of it just dawned on me. how i could lose you just like that, by some stupid accident. it's a heavy thought, you know?'

not expecting this reply at all, you turn to him with wide eyes. 'i'm here, shua. everything is alright now.'

'i know, i know. i swear i'm not trying to be dramatic or like to dumpen the mood right now, because you are so happy that we can finally go home...' he sighs and grips the steering wheel tighter. 'and i'm happy too. so happy, baby, you have no idea. if i ever lost you, i'd fall apart.'

'oh.' you reach out to him and brush away a single tear that falls down his cheek. 'baby. joshua, my love. i am here.'

you didn't know. your mind doesn't go places like that one and you generally try to be more focused on positivity and thinking only about good outcome. you had no idea that joshua even thought of this, that something like this plagued his mind. even though you can't possibly promise this, you still say: 'you won't ever lose me, shua.'

this is all he needed to hear - he grips your hand and pulls it to his mouth, letting it stay there as few more tears escape his eyes. when you come home, you'll stay with him in bed until he lets it all out, but for now you only squeeze his hand back, hoping that this is enough of a reminder to him that you are here. and you're not going anywhere.

a/n: request your own here! <3 - nini

[jakeyt]

Covet: Chapter 13

Pairing: Jake Kiszka x f!Reader

Covet Summary: Life was good. No, life was great. Was. Until. Jake Kiszka crashed into the picture. You welcomed him into your life—your home. Yes, he was your best friend’s twin. But, he was also the one who would end up disrupting your whole world with his attitude, his troubles, and the annoyingly natural way he lured you in. Jake Kiszka came with so much you really didn’t want. At least that’s what you tried to convince yourself.

Warnings: MINORS DNI (18+); angst; sexual tension + tense themes; self deprecation; mentions of toxic + absent parents; vivid memories of sexual encounters; body changes as a result of pregnancy; talks of baby + pregnancy; jealous!reader; angry!jake; pregnancy hormones of multiple variety; INFIDELITY; manipulation; Y E A R N I N G !!!; elsie + josh being wonderful + helpful; mentions/talk of being unable to have children; BABY KICKS <3333; very sad Jake + reader who want each other so badly, but won’t let it happen; stubbornness out the wazoo; PLEASE lmk if i missed anything that is triggering to you!)

Chapter 13 Word Count: 22.1k+

a/n: ok. shit's getting real... and i'm not bullshitting you when i say the next chapter is right around the corner. I FUCKING SWEAR THAT SHIT.

as always, massive thank you to @joshym for being the best sister there ever was and supporting me in my writings + pursuits + listening to every time i have anxiety over my writings <3 i love you to the ends of the earth, lis. you're my person - forever + ever. <3 additionally, a BIG OL thank u to @builtbybrokenbells. you are a queen whose throne is one to be bowed at. always. you'll never understand just how much your help + friendship means to me... in this silly story, other stories, and in LIFE. ily more, canadian me <3 an ode to my wonderful pal @gretavangroupie for being my push to keep writing always, helping me in the final revisions and edits when i release my cry for help. you are a true friend + i hope you know how much i appreciate u <3 a shout out to my homie @gretavanmoon for being my daily partner in flipping shit over anything + everything jake kiszka. you're a fuckin' real one, babe. <3 and, finally, an ever-present thanks to my girl @alwaysonthemend. Thank you, my love, for always being just around the corner when i need you. you're a personal favorite of mine + you know this <3

Please enjoy the playlist as you read 🖤 (fr, i listen to it nonstop when i write this.... all of the songs are pertinent to the story and aid in telling it - either already or eventually.)

Covet Masterlist

"The covetous person lives as if the world were made altogether for him, and not he for the world." Robert South

When I opened my eyes, I turned to look at her again. 

And I found a woman who was far from who I’d left when I’d closed my eyes. No more tears. Nothing even close, actually. No, her eyes were completely dry and she didn’t look anywhere near sad. 

Thank fuck. That was all she’d wanted. . . Just the gender. That was all it had been. 

Y/n wouldn’t mind. Surely. Right? 

Fuck. I didn’t know. But it was too late now. 

“Now. . . That wasn’t too hard, was it?” Maya said, breaking into the silence that accompanied my still-harsh breathing. 

I simply blinked at her. The fuck it wasn’t. But I wasn’t about to tell her that. “No, not too bad,” I replied, a tight smile stretched across my closed lips. 

After a few moments of rather uncomfortable silence, she was speaking again. “Would it be okay if I stayed the night tonight?”

God. Why did her question make me want to scream? Shouldn’t one want their super hot girlfriend to stay the night? 

What in the fuck was wrong with me? 

I was a seriously terrible boyfriend. . . No two ways about it. 

How in the fuck was I supposed to let her down gently? I really didn’t want her around when I finally got to see y/n again. . . 

Not that anything would happen between us — considering the guilt over Maya that was eating me alive. . . But the idea of having Maya right there when I laid eyes on y/n again. . . Made me want to fuckin’ hurl.

Think, Jake. . . Think. . . I looked away from her (like the fucking coward I was) to process my thoughts.

After a minute, I had an idea that wouldn’t be too harsh, so I decided to just fucking run with it. “I really think it would be best for us to have a couple of nights apart,” I tried, trailing off and finally looking up at her. 

The way her face immediately drooped — from hopeful to heartbroken — it cut me. Fuck. 

Was I being selfish? I damn well felt like it. But I couldn’t help what I wanted. 

Luckily, the words that came out of her mouth next pissed me off bad enough that I was able to stand my ground. Firmly. 

Her dark eyes dug deep into my bones before she began. “Why is that, Jake? Is this about y/n and the mess–?”

“No!” I started, rather loudly, at that. Dammit! Too quick. Too sharp. Pick up the pieces, Jake. . . “Fuck, no. Sorry. I’m—I’m just tired as hell from the flights and I just need some time in my own bed. My body hurts from the hours of travel and shit. I don’t know,” I shook my head, at a loss for what else to say. None of it was a lie, really. . . Just wasn’t the full truth. 

Her features were still crestfallen, but she nodded in what seemed to be genuine understanding. How she’d switched gears so damn fast, I didn’t know. But I didn’t question it. 

“Yeah, yeah. I get it. . ,” she said with one final nod of her head. Her eyes connected with mine over the armrest of her car, made of pristine tanned leather, between our seats. “I’m sorry. . .”

And the crushing guilt again. Why was she apologizing for simply wanting to be with me? And why in the goddamned world had I let myself get so annoyed with her wanting to simply be a part of my life? 

“Don’t be sorry,” I rushed out, questioning my idea to be away from her as soon as the words ‘I’m sorry’  had left her mouth. I needed to handle her with care and I wasn’t. What the fuck was wrong with me? The next words slipped out of my mouth, encouraging the idea I’d come up with, without a single thought for my supportive and loving girlfriend. “I can’t miss you if I’m with you, you know?”

Selfish. I was selfish. 

“Why do you need to miss me?” The frown on her face tore my heart the fuck up. Why I couldn’t just say the right thing, I didn’t know. It felt like everything that came out of my mouth was misconstrued and twisted. I wasn’t trying to make her feel this way, but I couldn’t help it. Being this tired, I didn’t think I could communicate anything effectively. “Wouldn’t it be better to just be with me instead?”

“It’s always better to be with you. . .But I also just want you to have some time to yourself, too, My,” I continued. “It’ll be nice to have a night to yourself before you have to deal with your mom and sister all day tomorrow.”

“Half sister, Jake. . . Only half,” she playfully smacked my arm, making me look at her with a raised brow. She was suddenly ‘okay’ enough to play around? “And praise god for that. . .”

“Yes. . .,” I chuckled at her antics, raising my brows. “Only half. She’s a lot for you to deal with, huh?”

“Yeah. And that’s putting it lightly,” she said, exasperated just at the thought of it. “You’re still thinking you can’t come to my mom’s with me?”

“I really need to be with Josh on Christmas day. Sam is going home with Danny,” I said, even though I’d explained this to her plenty of times before – when she’d asked me the same thing about going to her mom’s. “ Josh won’t have anyone and. . . I just. . . miss my brother. Twins can’t be apart for too long. . . I’ve tested it and it sucks if I don’t get to see him when my brain and heart are telling me I need to.”

“I get it. . .,” She conceded, giving a solemn nod. I knew she didn’t ‘get it’. But, I appreciated the way she was trying to understand. Hoping that was the end of this torturous conversation, I almost cringed when she opened her mouth to speak again. “I’m sorry for everything that got dumped on you. . . . all of the shit from last night. . . I should’ve told you sooner and I’m sorry my dad had to be the one to do it.”

Yeah, I agree, I couldn’t help but internally respond. I’m sorry you handled it that way, too.

On the outside, though, I simply shook my head with knitted brows. “It’s okay, My, reall–.”

“No, Jake,” she shook her head to disagree, speaking to me as if she were a mother correcting her child. Real damn similar to how her father had spoken to me. “It’s not. I should have told you and I’m sorry I wasn’t better about that. Just hard to talk about, I guess. . .”

“Maya,” I started, gathering my thoughts so I could respond properly instead of with frustration. She had gotten enough of that tonight, and I didn’t want to keep giving her shit that she didn’t deserve. “It’s okay, babe. I’m sorry for my short response. Just a lot going on at once when I found out. I’m sorry I got quiet for the rest of the night,” I said, taking the opportunity to apologize for any behavior of mine last night. Just wanted to say sorry however I could – without telling her anything. “Just going through a lot of emotions lately and that’s not your fault. That’s on me.”

“It’s okay, Jakey,” Maya pushed a smile onto her face, but the tiredness from the past couple of days was starting to weigh very heavily on me. So much so that I had a seriously hard time telling if the smile was genuine or not. To make matters worse, I couldn’t even find the energy to care, let alone get to the bottom of it. 

All I knew was she had been acting strange. And, I couldn’t figure out if it was because I was tired or if she was in a tough place mentally. . . To be fair, the past several hours had definitely been emotionally taxing for her. Any woman with a heart like Maya’s would be struggling after all of that came to light.

Fuck, Jake. Just get inside, I counseled myself, watching Maya’s lips move as she continued on about something I couldn’t find the energy to listen to. Whatever this is with her, surely it can wait until the morning. 

Yes. Seriously. Waiting until morning sounded best. Ideal. I was too irritable at the moment, and her eyes were still so sad. . . It was hard to watch her like this. Honestly, I wasn’t sure if I had ever seen her express so much emotion. And normally, I would be eager to ease her mind, but right now I just wanted—no, needed–to see y/n. 

After all of the shit I’d done to her – fuck. Leaving her here, the texts, the pictures, leaving the phone call like an asshole, not speaking to her all day because I was in my damn head. . . Fucking selfish. I was such an asshole. And to do that to the woman carrying my child? Made me feel pretty goddamn worthless.

Then, there was my girlfriend. My perfect, stunning, beautiful girlfriend who was going through something. And, I couldn’t even find it in me to care. After everything, all of the shit she’d helped me with during and after the summer. . . Selfish, Jake. 

The guilt was eating me alive, but I still couldn’t seem to give her any more than I already was. Not at the moment, at least. With a quick eye at the stereo screen, I noticed the time. Past midnight. It was past fuckin’ midnight after a day of travel. And we were still sitting here. Outside of the complex. In her car. 

What more did she want? She’d spent the entire past two days with me, save for an hour and a half of me giving into overwhelming desires. Then, she’d forced me to tell her things about Lav, about our baby—not hers. I was just tired from all of it. 

More than anything, though, I was not sure if it would ever be enough for her. . . Not after witnessing the way her dad treated her. Like a goddamn princess. I couldn’t do that shit for Maya. Couldn’t treat her like a princess. In a few short months, I was going to have my own girl to treat that way. My baby girl. And I’d be damned if I gave that type of energy to my girlfriend before my daughter. 

Still, I sat in the car, not daring to move as her eyes threatened more tears. God, I just couldn’t take it. 

“You know, it’s just. . .,” she trailed off, another sniffle, another stab straight to my chest. “I gave up on the idea of ever having kids, even though I wanted them so badly. A shame, I think, that so many people can have as many as they want and treat them terribly, when I. . .,” she let out a shrouded sigh, likely trying to hide the quiver in her tone. “I would give anything to just have–.”

“My,” I tried, knowing I should reach over and touch her, even if it were just a reassuring hand on her knee, but I couldn’t. Didn’t want to touch her. So. Damn. Tired. My brain hurt, struggling to keep up with everything that had been thrown my damn way. 

“I’m happy for you, Jake. Really. So happy.” And there it was again, her voice had cleared and confidence had come back like she’d never cried at all. Another wave of guilt took over, making me realize just how hard she was trying to keep it together, so I wouldn’t feel bad. She was too good for me—especially this version of me. “I guess I never pictured it like this. Maybe that’s why it’s been so hard for me lately.” 

“Why ‘lately’?” I bit the tip of my tongue, holding back the sigh that was begging to escape. God, Jake, just listen to her. Let her talk. 

“Being so. . . Uninvolved. It’s difficult. Knowing that I’m going to be a mom–finally–but not actually getting to be a part of it. . .,” Another sniffle shuttered between us to show just how cut up she was about it, effectively tearing my heart straight from my chest. “And y/n is great. Seriously. Love her. . . but, I don’t feel like she wants me involved. I know it’s not you keeping this all from me, Jakey.” 

There was a fire lighting up in my chest for the briefest of moments at the idea that she was somehow insulting y/n. . . Why would she be insulting y/n? I knew way fuckin’ better than to think y/n would ever treat anyone badly.

Fuck, I felt defensive and I was not liking the way her name was about to fall off of Maya’s lips again – I saw it forming. So, I interrupted it. “She wouldn’t ever—.”

“It’s okay, Jake.” She cut me off again, wanting to make sure I knew she wasn’t attacking anyone, probably. But if she wasn’t, why had it felt that way? I knew she wasn’t, and she would never, but everything felt so different right now, so wrong. I was wrong for throwing her in the middle of this, and perhaps I was even more of an asshole for keeping her out of it. 

And I knew her dad would have said the same damn thing to me that I was telling myself. He’d put me down if he got the chance. Like he already fucking had. . . The man had known me for less than a day before he was tearing into my ass. All that had told me was how I’d apparently made a very bad first impression. Made me feel like utter shit that I hadn’t done better for Maya and her family. . . Too absorbed in my own musings. . .

It was really starting to feel like nothing I did was right, for anyone. Every time I turned my head, y/n was upset about something. And when she wasn’t, Maya was, now. I couldn’t fucking win. At least I’d learned y/n’s ups and downs. . . Maya had hardly shown me anything but ‘ups’, so I was still learning her ‘downs’. . . 

But. . . Was it even worth it? Was it worth learning another woman like that with the immaculate woman upstairs waiting on me. . .?

Fucking shit. I was not doing well. Sleep. I just wanted to sleep. 

“I’ve always wanted kids, and I know I’d be–I will be a great mom. It’s only. . .having no say in this situation has definitely made it more difficult, but I am excited too, Jake,” she leaned over to hold my limp hand in hers. “This is my only chance, so I’m sorry if I’ve been too. . . Pushy. I just—I don’t want to miss out on this experience, even if it’s not how I thought it would go or how I want it to go.” 

I had to close my eyes for a moment, taking in a long breath through my nose to calm my nerves. It wasn’t like that, and she knew that. I wasn’t trying to make her feel bad, or unimportant, or anything like that. And neither was y/n. Not in the slightest, actually. I wanted Maya around – wanted her involved. But, all of this stuff, everything about Lavender was just so. . .  Sacred. To me, to y/n, to us. 

Sometimes, it felt like that was the only part of us that was still right – that was never wrong. Lavender was like this safe, hallowed ground. . .

But I didn’t want to make Maya feel like shit in a situation she didn’t ask for. . . didn’t want to leave her out of things. It was just so damn difficult, all of the time. 

I felt so frustrated and guilty over so much shit. And now – it was a hundred times worse. Every time I looked at her after last night, guilt was the resounding emotion. And remembering what her dad had said. . . 

The insane reality was none of it mattered to me at the moment when I knew I was so close to. . . God. Fuck. 

And that made it a fucked up mess. I didn’t know what to do at the moment, and I didn’t want to try to know. Not right now, anyway. 

Just needed to get inside.

But, with a twist in my gut, I realized that even the thought of seeing y/n wasn’t even comforting me anymore. The thought was only adding more complicated feelings to the stack of guilt. And that made me want to crawl in a fuckin’ hole. 

I just wanted to go to bed, to forget about every part of this damned trip and especially this conversation. 

It wasn’t y/n’s fault. Not at all. It was all on me. I didn’t like the idea of going in there to face y/n, knowing I let the gender slip, knowing she would know something was wrong. It just wasn’t something I wanted to face right now. 

None of this fell into place with how I’d originally wanted to greet her after this trip. And I really hoped y/n wouldn’t be mad if she found out how I’d told Maya the gender. Things had just started to feel okay again. And I’d be damned before I let it go back to whatever the fuck it had been before November.

“I love you, My. Seriously. I hope you know this,” I said, forcing another smile. I just couldn’t talk about this anymore. I needed this night to be over. I felt sick with stress, and I just wanted to be alone. “I want you to be a part of this. I will make sure you’re a part of this. Okay?” 

“I love you, Jake.” And finally, I took some goddamn initiative and leaned across the console, giving her a quick peck on the lips to cheer her up. . . . also wanted to get her to stop talking. “Thank you for understanding my crazy head. I don’t want you to think that I’m upset or angry. . . Just a bit sad. I feel better, now, though . . . Thank you for letting me be a part of this at all. It just means so much to me.” 

This was becoming too much. . . Just needed to get out, to go upstairs and go to bed before I let her keep me in this car any longer. Her words were all twisting around each other in my head. Her eyes, so sad, I just felt so horrible. But her back and forth was confusing as shit. 

I just needed to be alone, and the longer I sat with her, the worse I felt. I needed to leave before I gave in and told her to come upstairs with me. I really didn’t want to do that. Didn’t want to tell her to come upstairs. 

I just couldn’t take it anymore. 

I couldn’t spend another night with her. Not yet. Figuring out whatever the hell was going on in my head was priority number one. And right now, everything I felt would likely be fixed with a good sleep. In the morning, I would feel better. I wouldn’t be so. . . Apathetic, to whatever she was feeling. We could talk it out after the holidays, and we would be fine. At least I hoped so. 

I really needed us to be fine. At the end of it all, I couldn’t lose Maya. And I wouldn’t let whatever this was, whatever I was feeling, get in the way of being with her. I felt like shit that I’d spent my entire weekend away with her thinking of y/n. I used a lot of time that should’ve been dedicated to Maya, with y/n — whether it be on the phone or in my head. 

I’d ignored Maya — my girlfriend — and turned her into an idea more than an actual person I was supposed to be paying attention to. 

A girlfriend, who only deserved the best of me. . . Not leftovers from what I was giving to someone who’d torn me up so badly. Hell, y/n had hurt me so badly that I’d led myself back to Maya. Maya had picked up every piece. 

What. A. Mess.

My eyes were heavy as I stepped out of the car, and even if I was completely wiped, I spent an ample amount of time holding and hugging this dream of a woman who I got the privilege to call my girlfriend. 

After a while of standing beside her car, I felt as though I might’ve fallen asleep standing up. So, with a bit of hesitance due to the guilt still swimming in waves through my chest, I pulled away before holding her lovely face in my hands. Those deep pools of dark chocolate. Irises so dark, I could hardly ever see her pupils. . . Beautiful eyes. . . But, as I looked into them, I couldn’t help but wish they were someone else’s. . . The fuck was wrong with me?! I gave her a kiss, intent on feeling that spark with her. . . 

And, thankfully, it came when my lips touched hers. I sucked her bottom lip between both of mine, savored the taste of her. . . She always tasted like a mix of Wintergreen gum and cherries – a staple taste in her favorite brand of lipstick. . . Didn’t know lipsticks could taste good until Maya. Knew about chapstick and shit. . . but not lipstick. 

Maya was funny like that, though. Teaching me all about shit I’d never known before her. I really loved all of the things she taught me. . . She forced me into a version of myself I’d yet to explore before her. A man who was confident, but curious. All of the time. . .

As she drove away, I waved goodbye slowly and sleepily. The best smile I could muster was a tight one, close-lipped and slightly forced. I stood there a few moments after, watching to make sure she was safe while pulling out of the parking lot. 

But, while I did this, my duffel slung over my shoulder, I momentarily felt myself falling asleep. I had never felt so exhausted in my entire life. My mind and heart, tired. Conflicted in ways I fucking hated. Shouldn’t have even been conflicted. 

By the time I reached the front door, I couldn’t even think anymore. I couldn’t give either woman any more of me tonight – because I didn’t have any more to give. 

In the morning, it would all be okay. I knew it would be. It had to be.

End of Jake’s POV

-🌼🌼🌼-

The keys jingling in the door wouldn’t be heard by a normal person. 

But you were nowhere near normal at the moment. Lav’s kicks were still lighting up your palm and you knew Jake was supposed to be home soon. It had to be him at the front door. And while you didn’t want to embarrass yourself in front of him by being too excited after he’d openly ignored you for a day, you couldn’t help but get excited over him finally being home. 

The fact that it coincided with Lavender’s first movements you were able to feel – it made the largest smile you’d emitted in a long time brighten your features. It was simply too perfectly timed for you to slow down from opening your bedroom door as eagerly as you did. 

And when you saw him. God. 

He looked so damn good. 

You’d missed the fuck out of him, and to have him back home had you feeling whole. Like everything was clicking back into place after two days where things had felt slightly off while he’d been away. 

Granted, for the first few seconds of admiring him, it was his back facing you. 

But, still, you had to admire the way his long brunette waves fell over his shoulders and graced his upper back. His peacoat, hanging just right at his hips. . . And, while the back of him was incredible, yes, when he turned around. . . your mind blanked. 

So handsome. The most handsome. . . He was everything to you in that moment. Having him standing there in front of you felt like a pipe dream, but it was actually happening and you couldn’t believe he was back. . . The love you felt for him was inexplicably strong and you were coming to realize this more and more by the damned day. 

The emotion you felt at simply having him home again was unlike any you’d ever felt before Jake Kiszka. 

He just brought this fire out in you. Your heart, only ever beating this feverishly for him. His cheeks, red from the bitter cold outside. A whopping sixteen degrees and lower, all day long. Freezing temperatures to welcome him back to Brooklyn. 

The smile he gave you didn’t reach his eyes. . . And you noticed his eyebrows were scrunched, like he was deliberating something. . . Whatever it was, you were sure you could brighten his night with your news. This was the most idyllic way to welcome him back. . . His mood was bound to improve once you told him.

“Jake,” you breathed, the air around you buzzing with the cloud you were floating on. The elation over feeling her, rushing through your veins. “I have the best news. . . I just felt–.”

But, before you could finish, he was holding up a hand with a shake of his head. With this action, you were taken aback. Your face fell slowly, your own brows furrowing to sort of mirror this odd expression he was giving you. He wasn’t really frowning, but he definitely wasn’t smiling. His mouth was set in this straight line, unamused. . . 

Had you made him angry? Was there a reason he’d been ignoring you? One that you hadn’t caught on to?

This expression he was donning was one you’d seen before – when he’d be deep in thought after a serious conversation. 

Maybe he and Maya just talked about something serious. . . But. . . what about? Her? Him? Them? You? He had cut you off rather abruptly the night before. . . Had he realized it was a mistake he’d made? The shit in the shower, your bedroom, over the phone. . .? Had he told her about what had happened between you two? Or worse, had she found what was on his phone? 

You really honed in on the sight of his eyes. They were sunken and dull; held this incredibly vast emotion that you were struggling to pick up on in your state of delirium. The dark bags under his eyes told you that, at the very least, he was tired. 

But still, there was more. . . 

More that you were not too sure you wanted to try to figure out with the way he looked sort of corrective and dismissive of you. 

It all left a sour taste in your mouth. You’d put yourself out there for him: sent your first titty pic ever, called him to talk him through an orgasm, worked yourself up to an orgasm (with his help) in a public restroom (granted, it had been a single stall – but still). . . . The whole nine yards, only to be ghosted over the phone and now fully rejected in person. 

“I’m just not feeling the best and I need to go to sleep,” he said, voice raspy as ever. But his tone – it was off. He was off. What in the fuck had happened over the past twenty four hours? It was like the bathroom incident had never occurred. . . 

Understandably, you were very hurt. Your ego and heart, holding hands and equally bruised. But you did the best you could to play it off. Didn’t want to put any more on his shoulders. So, you didn’t bother him with it. Didn’t tell him. Even as you stood there, right across from him. Your hand, still on your tummy as Lavender was kicking away in your womb, waiting for her daddy to notice her. 

But her daddy couldn’t handle it tonight. And you weren’t about to push him any further over the brink of his very apparent weariness over whatever the hell it was. At this point, any person worth their salt would have been able to put two and two together. . . It was obvious to any one that it was you he was exasperated with. . . All of the signs pointed to it. 

So, you nodded your head with finality and did your best to smile as genuinely as you could. . . Worked to make the happy emotion seem real. . . Who knew how well it was turning out. All you knew was you didn’t want him tainting any more of this precious moment. You didn’t want this magical moment to be forever marred by the emotion he was carrying home with him from South Carolina. 

If only he’d stayed home. God. Fuck it all. Truly. 

“No worries,” you squeaked, clearing your throat to deepen your voice to sound more normal. “I know you’re definitely tired. Obviously. I’ll let you go to bed.” 

If you kept going, you would continue to ramble. So instead, you clamped your mouth shut and didn’t say a word as a grin stretched tight across your lips. Had to let him go to sleep. . . You could’ve screamed, though. You’d really fucking missed him. Didn’t want him to leave to go to bed when he’d just gotten home. . . But he wanted space from you. 

Since you were already up, you went ahead and moved to escape to the kitchen. You were thirsty and needed to fill one of your Stanleys – just not the one he’d purchased for you. 

The next words that left his lips shocked you, realizing he wasn’t ignoring you completely. It stopped you — right before you made it to the doorway of the kitchen. Hand still on your tummy to feel the flutters, but your ears, irresistibly in tune with Jake. 

“Hey,” he called after you, making you turn to face him with unmasked hope. Yet, he was already at his door, with it half opened behind him. That duffel bag strap, showcasing the strong shoulders you longed to wrap your arms around. “Merry Christmas.”

You didn’t even have a chance to respond before he’d closed the damned door, locking him and his shitty mood away in his bedroom. 

Really, you tried to be understanding. But you couldn’t help the wave of rejection that washed over you, making you want to hide away in your own room. At such a happy moment, too. 

Blinking away the tears brimming your eyelids (damn baby hormones), you tried your very best to just enjoy the moment, the milestone, the very thing you’d been waiting to feel for so long. You stood in place, hand on your tummy in the same spot Lav’s little feet were thrumming against you, even more so now. You wondered why she was so enthusiastic, what had woken her up and why she was so intent on letting you know she was there, too. Letting your palm rub slow, tedious circles on the bump that held your energetic, enthusiastic baby, your eyes stayed trained on Jake’s closed door. 

Could she have been kicking because of him? Did the sound of his voice cheer her up the same way it did for you? Could she recognize her daddy, even through your tummy? 

Feeling a tear escape your eye, you began filling your Stanley cup with ice, and most definitely not the one Jake had so graciously bought for you. You just wanted to enjoy the feeling, the fact that Lavender was healthy and happy, but it just felt like something was missing. The apartment felt emptier, lonelier now that Jake had come inside and closed the door on you. On you both. 

He was missing the biggest milestone yet. Willingly ignoring you, not giving you a chance to include him. 

You couldn’t help but feel slightly upset that he was so quick to walk away. . . Yes, walk away on you, sure. . . He had no reason to sit in the kitchen and talk to you, especially not after spending time with Maya and her dad. (You felt stupid, thinking he would be excited to see you after just leaving his perfect girlfriend. That was understandable, even if it hurt.)

But it wasn’t just you. Not anymore, anyway. 

You were hurt on behalf of the tiny one in your tummy.

The ice cold sip you took from your now-filled cup distracted you from the hurt for a moment, just because it was so damn refreshing. Pregnancy really took it out of a person. You wanted more of everything. . . Food, water, Jake. . . 

You wanted to knock on his door, to tell him to fuck off for missing this, but you didn’t. It wasn’t his fault, even if you were pissed at him. For the texts, for the phone call, for the ignoring, for the rejecting, and now for this. . .

Even if you were sad he was missing it, you should have just said something sooner, before he went to his room. Maybe if you had just gone for it, he would have stayed. You wanted that for her—not for you. Always for her, because she was most important. 

Yet, selfish as it sounded, you did want him to stay for you. And maybe that was why it hurt so damn bad. . . You were doing this to yourself, in the end.

Merry fucking Christmas to you. 

-🌼🌼🌼-

December 25, 2022  

The sun shone in beautifully to escort the bright, cheerful winter day into its rightful place. 

Christmas. You were so damn ready for the joy the day never failed to bring with it. Last night had been a fucking drag and you didn’t want to spend an unnecessary amount of lamenting over it. It sounded most attractive to simply avoid the apartment at all costs. . . So, you knew getting ready for your grandparents’ Christmas was bound to take no time. 

You were past ready to get to their house and sink into their unwavering love. And, if you were being completely honest, you were also past ready to involve someone else in the unexplainable joy of Lavender’s kicks. She wasn’t doing it again (yet) this  morning, but you were seriously hoping that she’d do it again. . . Surely she would. But. . . you were trying not to overthink it. 

Before leaving your room to feed Stevie, you’d tentatively glanced in the direction of Jake’s room. You didn’t want to accidentally bump into him. Because, try as you might, your mind was stuck on a loop of the look he’d given you last night. How he’d dismissed you so easily. You saw it over and over. It was embarrassing as hell and you weren’t anxious to see him again after that. 

You were beginning to lose hope that he’d actually meant the shit he’d said before leaving for his little trip and on his trip. . . It was very possible he’d lost interest. And that broke your heart more than you cared to admit. You’d ghosted people before — acted short towards them to try and get rid of them. That was what it seemed like he was doing with you. Or, at least something similar. 

It was safe to assume he was appreciative of your body and what you were doing for his child. But, what you feared was that he didn’t think you were worth risking anything with Maya. . . 

So, it had been your lucky day when you peered curiously to his door and found it to be closed. And no other room was in use by him, from what you could tell. 

It was stupid that your heart fell at his lack of presence. 

Fuck your foolish heart. 

Majority of the time, it couldn’t be trusted when it came to him. But, you were coming not to care. You felt how you felt and there was nothing you could do about it. And you had more important things — like a literal baby — to worry about than controlling the natural way you felt for him. It was what it was.  

You just couldn’t have him. And that was that.

So, you went about your morning like normal. But, you did so quickly. You wanted to take advantage of the time he was still sleeping with his door shut. 

After feeding Stevie, a quick shower was necessary to wash your hair and do a quick shave. You hadn’t done either in the bath last night and you were enjoying still being able to shave. The inevitable was coming in a few months where it would be impossible to do so. No more reaching your legs or anything else below the waist once the belly got to a certain size. 

Thankfully, the no-no area wax was still holding up from the other night, so the shaving went fairly quickly after the hair rinse. You’d done the blow drying of your hair in the bathroom, not wanting to wake Jake from his sleep. 

As you’d dried your hair, you’d had time for your irritation to rev up at the idea of walking out and perhaps seeing Jake. Thinking about the idea that he could be ignoring you — or trying to avoid you — made you want to throw your blow dryer into the mirror. After what he’d done to lead you on in the days prior. God. If he was trying to get rid of you after pulling all of that shit, it really did make you want to scream. But you wouldn’t. 

He could do whatever the fuck he wanted. 

Whatever floated his fucking boat.

 In fact, by the time you were wrapping the cord around the dryer, you’d decided you were glad he was ignoring you. Seriously. You didn’t need to see him and get all sad on Christmas Day. 

Once you were safely back in your room, with your still-sleeping roommate in his room, you put him out of mind. 

You focused on getting dressed and to your grandparents’. And once you were all dressed,  you took a minute to admire your outfit. It was really cute. Comfy. 

The mirror saw you looking at  your brand new lounge set from the TikTok shop. The prettiest cream color. Not see-through in the slightest (you’d been worried it would be flimsy material —TikTok shop and all that). You had to admit, TikTok shop wasn’t totally unreliable. . . At least when it came to winter lounge sets. 

Your bump looked adorable in the smooth, cashmere outfit and your ass looked incredible. In fact, you looked so damn cute — so good — that you weren’t even thinking about Jake. Or his attitude towards you only hours ago. 

With the lightest and easiest makeup on, you loaded up your oversized tote bag with your family’s presents. And once they were all packed up, you were ready to go. Had to get there to help Elsie get the food ready.

But, with a forlorn gaze, you eyed the two smaller flat presents, still sitting in the corner of your room. Wrapped in the same shiny red paper as the rest. You couldn’t help but feel slightly saddened at the fact that you weren’t sure you’d ever find the time to give them to him. . . Couldn’t be sure of jackshit when it came to him. 

At least not this morning. 

Nope. Didn’t matter.

You gave one final and reassuring swoop along Stevie’s back and promised her you’d be back that evening to feed her. Then, after swiftly grabbing your overnight bag, you were slipping on your long, black peacoat and aviators. You were ready to escape the suffocating feeling that encompassed your entire apartment. 

Making it down the exterior stairs of the building proved to be more of a feat with the additional bag, full of presents, on your shoulder and the overnight bag in your opposite hand. Gravity was something to become acquainted with again, the bigger you got. And additional baggage obviously didn’t help that. But, by the grace of god, you made it to the bottom step and were well on your way to your car within a few minutes. 

But, just as you were closing the back door, bags safely secured in the backseat, you heard a very familiar voice call out your name. 

The butterflies were flying rampantly in your tummy upon hearing him. 

And try as you might have wanted, you couldn’t resist looking up towards him. He was running down the stairs, his torn-up white vans hanging on by their singular thread as he was jogging towards you. He was wearing sweatpants that were haphazardly pulled on and the t-shirt he was wearing, the same heathered one, burnt-red in color, that he’d been wearing the night you first. . . . Damn.

But no coat. And it was frigid out.

“Jacob, where is your damn coat?!” You worried at him, not giving him a chance to say a word as he finally settled in front of you, breathless. 

“It’s not necessary,” he replied, the three words sounding more like harsh breaths than anything. “Goddamn, I am out of shape, huh?” He laughed, his hands settling on his hips as he briefly looked down, chest expanding to allow him a minute to catch his breath. 

Then, he was looking at you again. Whatever you wanted to say was trapped at the back of your throat. He was so handsome. His skin, ever-tan, glowing in the winter morning light. And the day’s new sunshine was doing the amber in the center of his eyes wonders. . . 

You almost forgot you were more than borderline mad at him. Almost. 

“What do you want, Jake?” You spit, blinking once with a roll of your eyes. The sunglasses that sat on your face were translucent enough that you knew he could see the motions of your irises. 

And, you were damn near elated at the thought that he could see your annoyance as you’d so blatantly seen his the night prior. 

He looked taken aback at your tone – yet, not surprised in the slightest, at the same time. 

“I just wanted to tell you Merry Christmas,” he started, looking desperate for you to understand where he was coming from. . . That this was somehow more than a simple ‘Merry Christmas’. 

The sincerity in his eyes, with the traditional saying, was enough to make your knees weak. . . Though, it didn’t matter how sincere he was – or if he was trying to translate more than a holiday greeting. . . all that mattered was how your mind was still reeling from last night. 

So, you didn’t want to give in to any of the butterflies fluttering around in your belly. This time, you didn’t want their jittery, rousing influence. So, you stood your ground. Stayed mad at him. He’d rejected you last night. 

Rejected you — even after the (very) intense phone sex. . . After what had happened in the shower and your bedroom. . . After all of the shit he’d promised he’d do upon returning home. . . 

He hadn’t even stopped and taken a few minutes of time to hear you out. Hadn’t cared to. . . All while his baby had been kicking. For the first time.

It’s his loss, your brain echoed on a repetitive scream. And, at this moment, with your anger and hormones taking charge, you agreed. His fucking loss. He missed out.

“You already did that last night, Jake,” you clipped at him, resting your hands, subconsciously, on the small roundness of your belly. His suddenly-downcast eyes followed your movements momentarily, but quickly found their way back to your irises when you started speaking again. “You told me ‘Merry Christmas’ before you went to bed. Remember?”

“I—uh. . . Yeah, I know,” he rubbed the back of his neck, shifting nervously on his feet before he decided to tuck both hands in his sweats’ pockets. “I also wanted to apologize for that. How tired I was.”

“Why the fuck are you apologizing for being tired? God, Jake,” you snapped the words, without even thinking. 

His head pulled back, once more, in shock. Those beautiful lips pursed, before he briefly chewed on them, his eyes wide as he looked to the side, shaking his head in shock at your tone. All of this, blatantly showing his growing irritation. 

But no. He had no right to be anywhere near irritated. 

It made you angry that he had the audacity to feel any sort of negative emotion. It was your turn to feel hurt. And it pissed you the fuck off that he was apologizing for being ‘tired’. 

Last night, in his eyes, you’d seen more than tiredness. There had been an unnamable, heartbroken emotion that you couldn’t figure out then or now. The way his expression had hardened and wilted, all at once. . . It was stuck in a loop in your mind. 

He’d been more than just ‘tired’. And, on top of you not being able to figure out why, he was now lying to you by omission. 

But you were starting to come to terms with the fact that you didn’t want him to see how it had affected you. If he wasn’t going to be honest with you, you weren’t going to be honest with him. So, you straightened up and hesitantly stretched a forced gentle smile on your lips. 

“You had a long weekend, Jake. It’s fine,” you tried again, grabbing hold of your belt bag’s strap with one hand. The other hand, going to rest on your lower back. This dull pain in your lower back. . . It truly had been a persistent enemy in recent days. And you’d been standing in your flat-footed platform Uggs long enough, on the concrete, that your back was feeling quite ungrateful for the combination. “Thank you – so much – for apologizing. Means a lot,” you continued, semi-kindly, before your voice dipped to a tone that didn’t mask your frustration as well. “But, if that’s all. . . I’m gonna go. My back is killing me and I’m past ready to get to my grandparents’. Thanks for the Merry Christmas. ‘Preciate it.”

You never said you were going to be completely dishonest. . . Just dishonest about your feelings towards the situation. Your feelings towards him. Just as you were going to turn on your heel, he was speaking again. 

“Uh—yeah. Um. . . Of-of course,” he stuttered, stepping back with a shake of his head. “I just–I just couldn’t go the whole day without saying something to you about it.”

“Mm. I get it. Thanks,” you bitterly replied, eyes squinting a bit with a sarcastic smile. 

Without even taking another second to consider saying something else, you turned away from him. Before you could expose your heart any further. And, just as you got to your driver’s side door and opened it to get in, you turned to him once more. 

And. . . there he was. Majestic beauty, in human form – now standing before you. 

He got to be the rejected one this time. Rejected by you. You got your revenge. 

His stare was pointed at the ground and his eyebrows screwed together in a conflicted manner. He was then saying something silently to himself before closing his eyes and pinching the bridge of his nose, afterwards running an open palm down his face.

He was unhappy. Whatever. He could get over it.

But— it was when the same hand went to fluff the hair on the right side of his head. . . The strands of chestnut, left skewed in the wake of the tousle. Still looked effortlessly beautiful, even with more than one hair out of place. Then, once more, he was doing it again. 

He was jittering – feeling unsure of himself, most likely. 

The doubled flustered motion made your heart sink in your chest. He was nervous. And you hated it for him. And you. For both of you. You didn’t want him to feel nervous around you. . . Hell no. Losing every bit of progress was not the goal. . . 

You were just upset. It didn’t mean you wanted to lose him if it was possible he could still care enough to stop you to tell you Merry Christmas – and apologize. Even if the apology didn’t encompass the complete truth and he was masking something else, you couldn’t knock him for doing it. For, it was something you’d done a million times before. . . 

And, pathetic as it was, even if he wanted you — just a sliver of how much you wanted him — you’d take it. The way your body and soul craved him was overwhelming. The desire to satiate it meant your morality and feminism suffered for it at times. . .

With one leg in your car, you decided you could tell him one more thing. Before you left. Just to make sure he knew your opinion on a particular matter at hand. Something he’d previously mentioned, offhandedly. 

“And, no,” you began. 

His head snapped in your direction, mouth forming an ‘o’ in surprise – surely not planning on hearing your voice again. Those handsomely thick eyebrows dipped before he lifted one in confusion. 

You continued. “You are the furthest thing from out of shape, Jake. I think I can confirm that much. . . Based on recent events and all. . .Yeah?” The lilt in your tone coincided with the blush in your cheeks. His lips quivered in satisfaction, just the slightest bit at your implication. You kept on, “Maybe it’s just a good idea to not bolt at full-fuckin’-speed down the stairs and across the lot.”

“I had to, though,” he said, his smile drooping just a bit to indicate his seriousness. With a gentle backwards jerk of his head, his brows still furrowed at you, acting as though it were supposed to be obvious that he’d been pulled to do it. He continued, “It wasn’t right for me to not hear you out when I got home. . . Real dickhead move.” 

Yeah, it wasn’t right, you mused internally. You are correct in that, Jacob Thomas. Thank you for seeing the truth of the matter.

Mentally, you were nodding your head to agree, but on the outside, you merely stuck out your bottom lip in contemplation before slapping on a tight-lipped smile.

“It’s fine,” you shook your head, once again not being transparent in your emotions regarding the matter. 

“No, it wasn’t ‘fine’, y/n. And you know it,” he replied, trying to continue this conversation that you needed to end. 

“Jake. I’m not your girlfriend. You don’t owe me anything. I survived. It did not affect me at all,” you lied, each word like battery acid against your tongue. Felt wrong. “It wasn’t a big deal.” 

Except that it was, an inner voice tried to remind you. A big ass deal, in fact. Your daughter had made it a big deal.

But you didn’t want to tell him right now. Not yet. Sharing the news would keep you in this parking lot longer and you were ready to leave. Needed some time to breathe. You could tell him next time it happened. He had no clue it had happened in the first place, so it didn’t matter anyhow. Ignorance was bliss. . . Right? 

“What was it?” He asked, stepping forward just a bit. It seemed he was letting the tender moment take over for him. 

You knew he wanted to continue this and for everything to be okay. . . But now wasn’t the time for that. You didn’t want that right now. Because, you wanted to continue being dishonest with him. You didn’t want to let the tenderness influence your actions. . . You’d already given in to it by turning to reassure him of what sort of ‘shape’ he was in.

“It wasn’t anything,” you said the same lie as before, just with different words that were laced with dishonesty. Needed to go. Seriously. There were quite literally people waiting for you. Elsie was surely counting the minutes until you got there to help with the Christmas meal prep. “I’m gonna go, though. . .”

You positioned yourself to get in the car completely when he cleared his throat to speak again. “What are you doing for Christmas today? Just gonna be with your grandparents and Elsie?” 

One of your feet was in the car, your ass nearly touching the seat. But you stayed slightly elevated to be polite. “Yeah,” you grinned, the thought of seeing them made your heart thrum. 

You truly loved your family. . . They were so damn special to you. They’d been with you through the lowest of lows and the highest of highs. . . You felt safe with them. 

But, what was strange was that you felt that safety with new people now. When, years ago, you didn’t think you ever would. . . Josh, obviously, had worked his way into your heart, yes. That had been a shock, all on its own. 

But. . . the man in front of you? He’d completely, unexpectedly, nestled into your heart further than any other person you’d ever known. It had resulted in you truly feeling safer with him than anyone else. Even with the amount of hurt that hung in the air between you, he brought a sense of calmness that no one else could. Peace. . . An unreal, inexplicably captivating amount. 

He was your Safe Place, after all. Your subconscious, completely uninhibited mind said so itself. 

You assumed it was all due to the sensation of being ‘in love’ with him. . . He was simply more than anyone else. Your love for him went to places it didn’t — couldn’t — for other people. Never had.

It took him a bit to respond, his gaze looking just as torn as you felt. “Cool,” he rasped, the smallest smirk on his lips as he took a step back. “Tell your grandparents I say hey.”

“Not Elsie?” You joked, winking his way. Continuing this interaction, against your better judgment. “I’m sure she has some stupid ass Urban-fucking-Dictionary thing to call what you’re asking me to do. . . Snubbing her and all,” you wrinkled your nose, feeling sort of cringy with your words. 

You continued rambling to stay in the moment with him. Being in his presence was what your heart craved. “Because, if this woman can’t be normal about the way she refers to human body parts and what stimulates them – something that none of us want to hear about, anyway – she sure isn’t going to be normal about other shit. . . She’ll be quite offended and I’ll have to suffer for it.”

He responded with a roll of his eyes that indicated he was in on your humor. The curve of his lips was becoming more prominent by the second. God, you didn’t want to leave him. 

“Yeah, you’re probably right,” he responded with an intoxicatingly raspy half-laugh. “Best to not upset your sister. Tell her I said hi, too.”

He continued to back further away, out of the way. He was giving you space to get in the car. To drive away. To leave. . . And while you should have wanted to leave, you couldn’t. Didn’t seem like the right method of action now that he was apparently okay ending the conversation. Because, even if he was okay with leaving you be, you didn’t want it to be over.

No – what you wanted was for him to be at your grandparents’ with you today. . . 

So, without even thinking, you began. “Why don’t you just–?”

Fuck! No, y/n! What the hell? That is way too damn much to ask of him, the voice in your mind heckled you. Know your place, y/n. . .

Phone sex and his face between your legs was one thing. . . Inviting him over for ‘Christmas with the Family’? Another thing entirely. There was no way that wouldn’t freak him out, right? Besides, you had a feeling he already had plans with Maya. . . . It was safe to assume she’d already included him in some sort of festivity with her family today. . . .

“What was that?” He wondered aloud, a brow raising to encourage you. His tone was genuinely curious. . . And aggravatingly knowing in his question. 

You knew he knew what you were going to ask. 

But, you weren’t going to say it. Nope. 

“Nothing,” you replied with a gentle shake of your head, tucking some stray hair that had fallen behind your ear. “Merry Christmas, Ja–.”

“Wait. Before you leave–I have to ask. . .,” he began, his voice lowering a decibel that had your tummy flip-flopping. He rubbed at his chin in a way that you’d deem delicious in your increasingly hormonal state. Fuck. . . “Are you saying you don’t want to talk about stimulating body parts?” He grinned, the corners of his lips turned up. The dirty words, combined with his demeanor, was making your entire body light up. “Because. . . I’d beg to differ, babydoll.”

Babydoll. Shitfuck. The new pet name. The one that’d had your body keeling over and aching as you’d worked yourself up for him, not even forty eight hours ago. . .

Without any warning, the use of the name had you suddenly remembering everything you’d felt, holed up in that fucking family stall. . . How badly you’d needed him – needed him with you. The way your entire body had prepared itself for him. . . The mess of your release, all over the inside of your thighs. . . You’d been needy for him. All while he’d been hours away from you. . . 

Yet, now, he was right here. 

And, well, you still needed him. Badly. 

The flush in your cheeks took over as you stood before him, completely disorienting you for the time being. . . . . How long would it take for you to just go upstairs and let him. . . . .? God! No.

Christmas. Elsie. Grandma. Grandpa. Food.

So — before you could decide against it one more time, you shot him one more toss of your eyes and the tiniest smile. Weren’t going to be honest about how you felt about the matter. You’d made that deal with yourself already. Doing the same as him, and avoiding the full truth, was safest for the time being.

The blush in your cheeks absolutely gave you away, though. . . Unfortunately.

“Merry Christmas to you, Jake,” you said, stilling one final time and catching his eyes before you slipped completely inside of the Jetta. “And, yes, I will tell them all that you said hi.”

-🌼🌼🌼-

Mostly, you were giving her shit when you said it. The wine had not been tempting to you in the slightest. But, the urge to give Elsie shit? That was very tempting. . . Especially as you watched her pour her glass of red and take a generous sip.

“You know how fucked up it is for you to drink that in front of a pregnant woman?” 

Elsie only rolled her eyes at your words with a swish of her wine before she took another sip. The pour, already nearly gone as she poured a touch more into the pretty holiday-themed glass. Her lips, the color of mulled wine, staining the holiday green and berries that decorated the glass. 

“You know how fucked up it is for you to say fuck on fucking Christmas?” She challenged back, setting the wine down to check her phone. 

With a little smirk, you went about finishing up the green bean casserole. When it was mixed to perfection, you opened the oven and popped it into the preheated chamber. Only a few spaces left for the rest of the food on the hot trays. You eyed the incredibly sized ham. The smell of it made your mouth water from its place on the bottom rack. 

Before your stomach threatened to fall to your feet from hunger, you shut the oven and wiped your hands. It was time to move on to the final touches of the sweet potato casserole, anyhow.

As you began peeling the boiled orange potatoes, you smiled upon hearing your grandparents’ laughter from their bedroom. It had become a tradition when you’d grown up and left the house that your grandparents wrap your presents Christmas morning while, respectively, you and Elsie would cook for everyone. 

As adults, you and your sister had insisted on making Christmas dinner for them. Both of you, finding it as a teeny-tiny way to pay them back for everything they’d done for you two over the years. A giant, delicious dinner to finish up every year – with all kinds of delicious foods, that showed gratitude to their unfailing, limitless love. A consistent love that you hadn’t known until living with them. Your mother had not even been close to being the one to ever show you the authenticity of an unconditional love. 

Which reminded you. . . Elsie still had no clue about your revealed memory. Mr. Morgan. Mom.

So, you decided you’d tell her. No better time like the present. And a little bit of fun talk for Christmas morning. . . . “You know how I’ve been doing EMDR?” 

“Yes!” She replied, looking up from her phone for the umpteenth time that morning. Thankfully, she was slipping it in her back pocket, not allowing it to be a distraction. “How’s that going? I’m sorry I’ve been shit at asking about it. Job change and the big move does have my mind a bit fucked,” she said, stirring the gravy before checking on the tenderness of the boiling potatoes that would soon become mashed. “From what I’ve read, that type of therapy can get pretty dark. . . Are you doing okay with all of that?” 

Though, as soon as she was saying her last few words, her phone was gaining her attention again, must’ve buzzed in her pocket. You thought you’d be lucky to have her attention, but you were quickly mistaken as she was checking her phone again. 

But it didn’t take her as long to answer this time, and she eventually sat her phone on the counter, giving you her undivided focus. 

Seriously. All morning. The texting.

Well. . . to be fair, it had started about an hour after you’d gotten here. The texting and/or simple act of checking shit on her phone had been nonstop. You assumed she’d been texting, though. You knew the way her mouth rested when texting. And the occasional blush on her cheeks, accompanied by tiny grins indicated it was most likely Josh on the other end. 

You caught a sly glimpse of the phone, since she’d actually set it on the counter this time. It had only been in her back pocket until now. But now that it was visible, your curiosity got the best of you. 

And, you were able to see the presumed perpetrator pop up on her screen. Three messages popping up under his name. One after the other. . . . And then a fourth, right before your eyes. Dear lord.

The man did not know how to send one concise text. . . One thought, never failing to be split into multiple bits.

Elsie had told you already that the curly headed twin would be coming later. You didn’t know where he was now — all you knew was he wasn’t there yet. You assumed he was spending Christmas morning – at the very least – with Jake and Sam. Even if Jake did have plans with Maya, you knew him better than to believe he hadn’t carved out time for his brothers on Christmas Day. 

Danny had mentioned going home for Christmas on game night, so you knew it was just the three brothers here in New York for the holiday. There was no way they hadn’t decided on doing something to celebrate.

Though, selfishly, you wanted Josh here with you; he was a comfort. And, Christmas mornings being more comfortable didn’t hurt. And, stupid as it was, on Christmas, you always began to miss your mom the slightest bit. . . The woman had more negativity associated with her than positivity – by a landslide. 

But. . . She was your mom. And she was gone. On Christmas. What was supposed to be the happiest day of the year. . . 

Although, (of course) the ‘missing’ always came with overwhelming resentment. . . so you only ever tried to block it out. But, with lovely EMDR, the feelings were much more prominent than usual – harder to block.

So, seriously. . .Warmth and comfort was a necessity. 

Unfortunately, you wouldn’t be experiencing your favorite source of comfort any more today. . . In the form of Josh’s twin. Fuck Maya. Seriously.

“Well,” you began with a slight pause, shifting your mind away from his goddess girlfriend. To busy your hands, you decided on grabbing a Bubly from the fridge. A newfound staple drink in your Grandma’s kitchen. Cherry, specifically. You popped the tab and took a sip before continuing, going to stand next to the sink as Elsie went about draining the now-fully boiled white potatoes and placing all of the food you’d prepared on the island. “I haven’t had too many dark sessions of unraveling the shit from our past. But. . . I did see mom again,” you paused, giving her time to respond to the words. 

But, she didn’t respond. No, instead, she was checking her phone. Yet again. 

So, you went on, trying to emphasize the importance of the previous words with your next to get her attention. “The first time I’ve been able to fully make out her face in years. . .” 

Still, though. No response. Her hands were slightly shaky, but the small, secret smile on her face as she stared at her screen, said it was a positive sort of shaking. They were truly insatiable. Whatever. Good for them and their happy relationship.

You continued, essentially talking to yourself at this point, it seemed. “EMDR is intense, but it has seriously worked wonders for me. . . You know, remembering things that I’ve forgotten and need to remember. It’s been a lot — especially with all of the mom shit. . . but it’s been worth it.”

To your surprise, she actually gave a response. But it was barely a response. She’d only offered a gentle,  “Yeah. . . Sounds like it.” But, still. She hadn’t stopped for a second what she was doing. 

She just kept busying herself with the food and her phone. Food, phone, food, phone. . .

Then, she was taking the lid off the pan on the stove to check on the cranberry sauce your grandma had put on. . . The vinegary, bitterly sweet cranberry sauce was the one thing your Grandmother still insisted on making. And, after a taste, Elsie was adding a touch more of raspberry vinegar to the pan. 

Normally, you loved your Grandma’s cranberry sauce. And, the smell of the red fruit and vinegar combination usually made you feel excited for the taste on your tongue. 

This Christmas, however, it was much different. 

The smell of the additional vinegar with the lid off of the pot, was making your stomach churn. And, as Elsie stirred it to mix the vinegar, your stomach rolled as the potently sour smell wafted through the air. 

The suddenly upset tummy only told you one thing: Lavender was not a fan of vinegar. . . And, chances were, she wouldn’t love Grandma’s cranberry sauce like her Mommy did. 

So, you backed away from the stove, your nose saved as you held your breath. You decided it was best to go to the opposite side of the kitchen with your sweet potato supplies. 

And once there, with your back turned to the stove, you let out the breath you’d been holding and finished peeling them. 

Once that step was over, you were dumping them into another bowl before holding your breath to gather the brown sugar and syrup that you’d mix in with them, from Elsie’s side of the kitchen. 

And, once you were at your counter again, you let out a ragged breath, your lungs not able to hold air to the same capacity they once could. With a baby steadily growing and taking up space that your organs usually did, something as simple as holding your breath looked much different now. 

The bright orange vegetables were cooked to perfection, breaking up smoothly under the potato masher you were wielding. The brown sugar and syrup were measured by eye, and dumped into the dish soon, once the potatoes were mashed properly. As always, you were readily looking forward to this scrumptious casserole. 

This was your favorite holiday dish. And, a big part of the reason you loved it so much was because it would eventually be finished off with little marshmallows. . . Yum. 

Thankfully, Lavender seemed to agree with her Mama on this one. 

Your mouth was still watering, as usual, at the smell of sweet potatoes. Your tummy rumbled as you held your breath again to face the direction of the stove.  

You dumped the mixture into the casserole dish sitting on the kitchen island. The dish had patiently awaited the potatoes on the kitchen island. 

The island held a variety of salads, fruits, crackers, dips, and veggies — all of them, littering the surface. These items were always first on the list to prepare, since they were good to snack on and couldn’t ‘get cold’. 

Once the sugary potato mix was pristinely pressed against the glass pan, you took a healthy whiff of the food you’d been working on. Then, you made your way back over towards the oven with the potatoes. Mouth closed. Nostrils saved, your stomach not in peril.

When you got to the stove, Elsie was opening the oven door to check on the ham. And once you were bending over to place your food on the last available spot in the oven, you quickly realized your sister was damn near shutting the oven door on your arm. 

“Elsie! Careful!” You urged, eyebrows creasing at the way her body seemed to be buzzing beside you. “Goddamn, sis.”

“Sorry,” she said on a distracted breath as she poked at the ham with the thermometer. “Just trying to finish this shit up. I’m starving.” 

You ignored her, your skin heating with annoyance. And, not just at her refusal to listen to you. No, it was because, for the second time that morning, you were being fibbed to by someone you loved. First, Jake. Now, Elsie. You knew there was more to why her shoulders were quivering with some sort of pent up emotion as she moved away to give you space. 

Whatever she and Josh were discussing was distracting her to a point of oblivion. . . It was just lovely. But, for now, you’d give her a pass and let her live in her own little world of bliss. One of you should get to.

Yet, her nervous energy was translating to you in a way you couldn’t ignore. Your hold on the dish, a little too tight. And, too late, you realized your unwavering hold on the glass had your pinky briefly touching the oven rack as you placed it there. The searing heat was instantaneous in its sensations, all the way from your smallest finger to your elbow, you felt it. 

Dammit! 

“Mother of fuck! Fuck it all to damn hell!” 

That sharp, stinging, and blistering pain was already forming a welp on your finger as you carefully removed your hand fully and shut the oven. Fuck, it hurt! 

The previous slew of dirty words blurted out of your mouth a touch too loudly, alerting your Grandmother, all the way from her bedroom. “Y/n y/m/n!” The older woman screeched in a motherly tone from the other room. Curse her super hearing abilities. You’d been blessed with a grandma who could hear a damn pin drop. . . her ears, continuing to refuse aging. “Watch your damn mouth!”

“Mary Jane!” You heard your Grandpa scolding her, just the same as she had you. 

Even with the pain that was radiating up throughout your entire hand, you couldn’t help the tiny grin at her own slip-up. At the same time, you turned the kitchen sink to the coldest it could go as you waited for it to chill completely.

Your Grandma was not a typical elderly woman. And you loved her so much for it. Prim and proper and so clean cut – yes. She was beauty, she was grace. . . But her mouth had always been one to slip a curse word in – whenever she wanted, a dirty word or two was known to slip past her lips.

It was no shock to you when the older woman came racing into the room to check on you. It seemed Elsie noticed your pain at the same time that your Grandma was entering the room, the younger woman’s body sidling up beside yours at the counter. Just as you were putting your hand under the chilling sink water, your Grandma was popping up at the other side.

The cold water against your hot flesh felt like heaven and hell, all at once. 

“Y/n, honey, put your hand under the water,” your Grandma said, on a hurried breath, even as she watched you do exactly that from her new spot beside you. “Goodness gracious, Lord have mercy, y/n.”

“I am, Grandma,” you replied with a small, huffy laugh. “Calm down.”

“Is your heart racing?” Elsie asked shortly after you finished speaking, her voice a bit shaky still. “Are you okay?” 

Are you okay, Elsie? You internally bated her as you turned to her to give her a look.

“Yes, babygirl. Are you okay? Is the baby okay?” Your Grandmother asked at the same time as your vibrating sister.

“You two. . . I am okay. Baby is okay,” you replied with a small grin, glancing over at your Grandma before focusing on your finger. “Can one of you get me a towel though?”

“Oh, shit. Yeah. I’ll get it. God,” Elsie responded instantly, seeming disappointed in herself. She slapped a hand to her forehead as she walked to do the task. “I’m sorry I’m so spacy. . .”

“You think?!” You hissed, though your mouth stayed curved in a smile. Staying mad at Elsie wasn’t easy.

“You’re spacy, Elsie Bug?” Grandma pondered from beside you, placing her hand on your back, the firm and reassuring touch floated soothingly  through your entire body. “What does that mean?”

“It means her head’s in the clouds, Grandma,” you said, on behalf of your bumbling sister. “Josh has her all weird and googly-eyed. Even over the phone. . . All morning and afternoon.”

Just as soon, Elsie was beside you again and slipping the tea towel under the sink’s freezing spray only briefly before holding it out for your hand. It took you a bit of time to oblige her, enjoying the feeling of the coolness against your burning flesh. Felt nice. 

But, the idea of the icy cold towel being snugly wrapped around your warm, persistently stinging finger sounded like a dream. So, turning off the water, you spun on your heel to face Elsie. Your back, now, to your Grandma. 

“You know why, Grandma,” Elsie insisted, shooting a look in the older woman’s direction, over your shoulder. “Remember what we talked about earlier? What I asked you about?”

“What does that mean?” You pried at her, brows drawn in with utter confusion. 

What in the fuck could she be hiding? And your Grandma knew about it, too? Was this why Elsie was acting so weird? She always got nervous and edgy when it came to surprises. . . 

After budging at her figuratively, you did so literally, with your elbow against her arm, as she attempted to wrap your finger tightly in the soft material. The movement of your arm took your hand from her grip momentarily, making her growl. 

“Y/n. Quit. Let me wrap your finger.”

“Elsie.”

“Oh! Yes! Our extra gue–.” But, before she could finish, she was interrupted by a knock on the door. “Well, lookie there! That must be them!” 

Them? What? Your mind was going a mile a minute. What were they implying?

It took almost no time for your Grandmother to race to the front door on her spindly legs. The woman was still rather fit for her age of almost 75. She’d taken her health very seriously, always. . . which you’d always admired about her.

It took less than a minute for her to get there, with the door to the house being on the other side of the wall. And, instantly, upon opening, you heard Josh’s rather cheerful voice through the wall. 

Elsie’s hand stilled on top of yours, mid-towel wrap. You looked at her curiously, her touch slightly clammy on your skin.

“Ms. Mary Jane!” He exclaimed familiarly, his voice quite actually reverberating off the walls of the house. “A very Merry Christmas and a Happy Holidays to you, madam!”

Then, without any warning, he was very loudly singing “Mary Jane” by Rick James. . . to your Grandmother. Thankfully, he was leaving out the slightly explicit parts about Mary Jane turning him on and shit. Your eyes went to the wall, as if he could see your raised brow at the song choice.

While you were cringing at the song, it was only sending your Grandma into a fit of laughter. 

“Woo!” You heard your Grandma squeal from the entryway. “I wasn’t prepared for the dancin’, Joshua!”

Oh, Josh. . .

“Oh my god,” Elsie said to you, snickering under her breath. A little laugh left her lips as she rolled her eyes. “He is a mess.” 

The continued laughter that came through the wall made a smile fit to your lips. But you couldn’t let the moment pass without a comment about the song. With a tap against your hand, you noticed Elsie tying a bow with the small towel, leaving your now-wrapped hand. 

But, rather than running to Josh, she was checking on the ham – again. It shocked you that she wasn’t rushing to Josh. But, since she wasn’t, you didn’t. 

You also took notice of the fact that she wasn’t shaking anymore. . . Which relieved you. . . . But left you wondering what it meant. Had she just been dying for Josh to get here?

You stood in your place to joke with him, through the wall. Your voice raised slightly for him to hear you through the love song he continued to sing. “Rick James, Josh? Seriously?”

Just as soon as you’d asked your question, he was rounding the corner into the kitchen. 

But, the joke died on your lips – your mind completely blanking – as soon as the curly headed man made it into the room. 

 Because, trailing behind him was. . . Jake. 

You were pretty sure your heart stopped in your chest at the sight of him. The breath in your lungs, completely desolate from your chest with a single gasp. 

Oh, Jake. 

He looked so handsome in his all black attire. Black sweater, black jeans. And those worn, black Chelsea boots. . . The coins he’d started wearing, laying just right between his chest muscles. . . His long hair — various strands still damp from an apparent shower. . . Fuck. 

And his face, the most stunning part of all. He rivaled every other man you’d ever laid eyes on. No, didn’t rival — kicked them out of the ball park. He was immaculate, perfection in the most incredible form. 

Those features you’d studied for mornings and nights on end, nearly mirroring whatever expression you were making. A sort of stunned look behind his dark, deep set eyes.

You could see his apparent delight at the sight of you — in the loose grin that adorned his pretty lips. 

Though, rather than shock on his face (like you knew was painted on yours), he was waiting to see what your surprise entailed. It was as though he was waiting to see if you’d be more thrilled or upset by his presence. 

You observed his brown eyes, golden in the late afternoon sun shining in from the window behind you. Just like this morning. . . 

Those eyes, scanning your face, waiting to see how you felt about his arrival. And, rather than making the man suffer, you decided to show him. 

While you knew you couldn’t walk over to him and create a display, you knew you had to do something that would properly express the hope blossoming in your chest at the sight of him. The lack of display was upsetting, yes, but you were sure it would stun your poor Grandmother. The woman was oblivious to all of the parts and pieces of the ‘Jake and y/n puzzle’. 

Completely and totally oblivious.

You had to trust that your response would be fitting.

As he moved towards you, your heart plunged into the pit of your throat. He was coming up to you, just as Josh was to Elsie. He wasn’t touching you, but he was only a foot away, at best, as Josh and Elsie collided in a hug. 

He was still not as close as you wanted him, as he shuffled on his feet. But, he was as close as he could be. . . And the fact that he was near at all — in the same damned house as you — that was all that mattered. 

You let your lips rise in the most natural smile you’d felt since his initial return home last night. 

The same appreciation and whim that had been evident in your heart then was absolutely present now. Was this your second try? After all, he had come here. . . Though, had it fully been his choice? 

God, you didn’t know. And that was all it took for you to tone down just enough to stay in the reality of the situation. He was here, but he wasn’t yours. . . He wasn’t here as your boyfriend. He was here as Josh’s brother. 

But still, you didn’t hide the feelings swarming in your heart. You let your eyes communicate your unadulterated, contented bliss. . . 

And with the way his own eyes sunk into yours, you knew he understood — just enough. 

He knew that you were happy he was here. You could tell by the way his features softened.

And, that was all you needed at the moment. Just wanted him to know — ‘all was well’. 

“What brings you here, Jacob?” You asked with a bit of a teasing lilt in your tone. You had to remember you were being watched by an unassuming Grandma.

But, to your appeasement, she was soon escorting herself out of the vicinity. “I’m going to help Grandpa finish the gift wrapping! We are just about done,” she clarified. And, to not seem suspicious, your eyes went to watch her instead of the man who stood a few feet in front of you. “We’ll be ready to eat in an hour or so, girls!”

And, as she left, Jake came just the slightest bit closer. . . Enough closer that you could smell the vanilla laced with the sandalwood and amber in his cologne. . . Your favorite smell. 

“Just thought I’d join Josh on this excursion,” he clarified, his words authentic with the slightest bit of mystery hiding behind the phrase. “Sounded to me like this is the place to be. . .”

And, at the sound of his voice, you felt her. 

For the briefest of moments, for the first time since last night, you felt a little rustle in your belly that you now knew as a Lavender kick. 

And after the first, came another swift one, right where you’d felt her the night before. Her body was positioned in a way that you felt her little feet, right below your belly button. 

The timing was perfect for you to tell Jake about the kicks. He was right here this time. Right in front of you. And, you were just about to when he reached up to rub his chin. 

It was then, though, that you spotted a thick, dark silver ring on the middle finger of his right hand. . . Wasn’t wearing any of his other rings around this one. . . It was obviously a special piece of jewelry. 

This one, seeming to match the coins around his neck — that one-of-a-kind, antique silver that is unattainable unless you have money. . . A new ring that appeared to cost a lot of money. . .

You were hoping against hope that Josh had bought it for him. . . Or, maybe Jake had purchased it for himself? 

Surely Maya hadn’t. . . Right? It looked like an old, piratical relic. And last you knew, she couldn’t remember the difference between pirates and fucking mythology. . . Seriously, again — what in the fuck? Knowing that about the woman still got you.

So, really, you settled a decent amount. . . It was near impossible that it had been from her. 

Perhaps, he’d had it for a while, but had never worn it around you? Or you just hadn’t paid close enough attention to his wardrobe to notice? Yet, that was a fat chance. 

Maybe he’d bought it for himself with these new label paychecks. . . However, you knew the jewelry he gravitated towards. 

And, really, you paid very close attention to his wardrobe — perhaps more so now, than before. It was all your longing gaze had to torture you with. . . Concentrating on every Jake detail was the gospel for you. 

All of that to say, he had his ‘go-to’ rings. The same four or five silver rings — anytime he wore hand jewelry, those were his staples. So, truly. . . You knew this had to be a newer ring. One you’d yet to see. . .And, even if you hated the answer, you had to know who had bought it. 

Stupid, stupid idea. . . Why did you choose to do this shit to yourself? 

Whether you should have or not, you (foolishly) asked. “Who got you the fancy ring? Haven’t ever seen that one. . .”

The moment you saw the little twinge in his brows and the thoughtful purse of his lips. . . you knew you shouldn’t have asked. Fuck it all. His eyes glanced down at the hand he was, now, holding out at his waist between you two. Like it held all of the answers on how to respond to such a question. 

As if she’d sensed the new topic of conversation, and her mommy’s stress, Lavender began kicking harder. She was trying to gain your attention, it seemed. And while she absolutely had your attention, so did her father. . . Who you were still waiting on an answer from. 

After he’d taken a few too many seconds to deliberate an answer, and Elsie and Josh were seemingly in their own world, you decided you’d pry further. If they were distracted, you couldn’t embarrass yourself in front of your sister and your friend if Jake were to act annoyed with your additional prodding. 

You raised your brow at him. And, doing your best to ease any tension, you lightly tapped the top of his boot with a sock-clad toe. 

“Hey. . .,” you tried, leaning over a bit to get a better look at his face, which was now looking up from the floor. But, not at you. No way. He was very concerned with the window to Grandma’s garden behind you. Why had you asked about that damn ring? “Jake. You okay?” 

And, still, he didn’t respond with words, but he was at least looking at you again. All he did with his mouth was lick his lips; which, in turn, caused your insides to shiver with desperation for him. It made you feel even worse. This entire situation was so fucked. 

So, you back-tracked. Tried to save face. “Y-you don’t have to answer; I was just being nosy. It’s not my business to—.”

“You know who did, y/n,” he finally spoke, so quietly and with a tone that seemed too short for your taste. 

There wasn’t any way to stop the way your eyes leveled with his. You glared at him, hard. Right into those eyes. The same eyes you saw behind yours in every dream, the ones you wished to be the same to grace Lavender’s pretty face. . . 

But you weren’t feeling sentimental. Even as he seemed to soften, once again, under your penetrating, pinning stare. You weren’t having it. He’d made you mad. 

What was his problem with you simply asking a damned fucking question? You instantly took back feeling bad about asking. While it might not have been your business, it was a friendly conversation starter. 

And he was cutting you off mid-ramble, acting put out with you for asking about a motherfucking ring?

Lavender’s kicking continued on, growing feistier by the second. And with one particular jab to your bladder, you suddenly had no time to entertain Jake’s moody ass. Fuck him and his stupid ring, you suddenly had to pee. 

You were absolutely going to pee down your leg if you stood there a second longer. 

She was pressing so adamantly against you that the pain was sharp and dull all at once. You felt the buzzing throb, warning that your body would open with no chance of stopping if you weren’t quick.

Fuck. 

Without taking another second, you were shoving past him, taking out your frustration a bit while you could. Before you could leave the kitchen to get to the hallway bathroom, though, he was softly grasping your arm to make you pause. 

God. No, Jacob. Not the time.

He was already pissing you off. And now his daughter was insisting you needed to piss this badly, because of the bit of Bubly that you’d indulged in over the past hour. 

And, his surprise arrival definitely had you feeling all jittery and on edge. . . In a way you wanted to enjoy. But you couldn’t. He was making that impossible. With the blessed piece of silver on his finger and his snippy ass mouth. 

All of the fire you felt in your chest, you channeled to reflect in your irises as your eyes snapped to his. 

He looked apologetic. Good for him.

And, when he spoke again, his inflection proved the emotion emanating from his beautiful, amber-brown eyes. “Y/n, I didn’t mean—.”

Just as you felt his hand flex around your forearm, you yanked it from his grip, stumbling back a bit with the action. Which, of course, he reached out to help with instantly. 

“No, Jake,” you growled, holding both hands out to avoid his touch. Didn’t need his hands distracting you. Fuck him and his incredible hands. On top of that, a fucking tsunami was threatening to burst the dam of your body, lest you leave. “Not now.”

Seconds later, you were finally on your way out of the kitchen. And even as he tried to stop you again, calling your name once to stop you, you didn’t hear him. . . 

Because, all you could focus on was the heavenly hallway bathroom that finally came into view. The room that would offer you sweet, sweet relief. Relief of the heinous, painful strain of your damned bladder. . . 

As well as relief from the unexpected, aggravatingly delicious presence of Jacob fucking Kiszka. 

-🌼🌼🌼-

“What’s got your panties in a twist, Jacob?” Josh poked, raising his brow at the twin that stood behind you. 

He was right. His brother’s panties were, in fact, in a damn twist. 

For the past hour since they’d arrived and he’d pissed you off in the kitchen, Jake had become oddly quiet. 

You hadn’t gone out of your way to talk to him and ask him about it. . . Couldn’t. Didn’t want to. . . . Or so you tried to convince yourself. And, you were succeeding by playing oblivious to how your shitty response had turned into his now-shitty mood. 

It was annoying how you were still feeling in his presence, no matter how badly he made you want to punch a wall. Where Elsie had once been ridiculously jittery and weird, you now were. It felt juvenile. . . Felt like you were a preteen girl whose damned crush was hanging out with her for the first time. 

Every time you glanced his way, your heart quite actually twisted in your chest at the mere sight of how handsome he was. . . How damn good he smelled, attacking you, every time he came near to you. . . 

And, while you were finally (mostly) over the little fit concerning the ring, you didn’t want to make yourself vulnerable to him. You knew you couldn’t handle a conversation and keep face. Especially not one about how he was feeling. You were not going to ask if he was ‘okay’ again. Not right now. . . 

But. . . there was a conversation was coming. You could feel it.

“They’re not in a twist, Josh,” he growled with a huff, his voice close at your back. Goosebumps were persisting on your neck. He’d come to stand behind you a few minutes prior as he’d finished conversation with your Grandpa in the other room. 

He’d joined you immediately after his conversation, as you took photos of Josh and Elsie. “And panties?” He hushed at Josh, tone distressed, worried. “Really? In front of their grandparents?”

“They’re not even in the room, Jake,” Elsie said with a snort, snuggling closer to Josh for another picture. “And they’ve heard worse than panties. Scout’s honor.”

Jake scooted closer to you. He hadn’t been bold enough to come much closer until now. He’d kept a safe distance from a couple of feet away. 

But, not now. Now, he was inches away from your ass. You could feel how close he was, by the way his body heat radiated to your body. 

Deciding to just suck it up — and not able to resist the urge to tend to his needs — you looked up and over your shoulder at him. Your breath caught in your throat at the sight of him. You would never get used to how handsome he was.  

“Jake,” you tried quietly, immediately gaining his attention. His face softened as soon as he was looking at you. Josh and Elsie were in their own little world already, giggling with each other and having a tickling contest or some shit. Gross. “There’s no need to be tense or anything. Just relax and enjoy yourself. It’s Christmas.”

His jaw went loose momentarily, then it was flexing again, before his next words. “Yeah, but you haven’t been acting like yourself and I feel like it’s my—.”

“Rolls and cranberry sauce are finished!” Grandma was suddenly piping up from the kitchen doorway. 

It was time for Christmas dinner. . . And, as if on cue, you felt your tummy rumble a bit. 

Somehow, you’d been able to put off how insanely hungry you were for all of this food. . . As a constantly hungry pregnant woman, on Christmas, you’d ignored your hunger for the holiday food. Damn. That was saying something about your headspace when it came to Jake.

“Let’s eat, girls and boys,” your Grandpa added, coming up behind the white haired lady. His thick, black and gray eyebrows raised as he looked at you all, awaiting a response. “Gotta get this goin’. I’m hungry.” 

And, then, they were both disappearing from the doorway. You assumed they were on their merry way to find their own places at the table. Following in their lead was all you wanted at the moment, as your tummy tickled at you again for satiation.

“Let’s go eat,” you brought the phone down, clicking it shut to give your full attention to him. Both of you turned a little until you were fully facing each other. You tucked a lock of hair behind your ear. “You can sit next to me?”

The offer came on its own, your heart speaking for you. And there was that fucking vulnerability you’d been afraid of showing. 

He breathed, his chest visibly deflating with relief. A grin quirked his lips, his brows rising. “I would love that.”

“What about our picture?” Elsie whined from where she stood, now-behind you from where you’d turned to Jake. 

Jake’s loose, lopsided grin made butterflies swarm your chest and belly. You felt his emotion, throughout your veins. His eyebrows raised in amusement, as you rolled your eyes at Elsie’s continued bickering. 

You had to turn to her to show her your irritation, forcing you to turn your back on Jake again. . . Which only irritated you further.

“Come on, y/n. Please,” she huffed, literally stomping her foot. “I took too damn many of you the other night for you to not return the favor. And you were basically fucking naked! This is nothing.”

Jake’s throat cleared behind you and your cheeks blushed as crimson as your grandmother’s living room walls. “Elsie Mabel,” you scolded her. “Seriously?!”

“Oh my god, Hormonal Holly,” she sassed, narrowing her eyes at you. “Cut the shit, shut the fuck up, and just take one more picture. Goddamn.”

“It’s nice to be young and in love on Christmas,” Josh explained, unnecessarily. 

Seriously. What the fuck, Josh?

“It absolutely is,” Elsie reiterated, pressing against him and pressing her lips to his. 

O-kay. Dear God. You couldn’t take anymore of the cutesy couple-y shit. So, yanking the phone out again, you started snapping pictures. 

Whatever ploy this was, it was working to get under your skin just enough. 

And you had a damned good feeling you knew exactly what they were doing. . .

-🌼🌼🌼-

When the cranberry sauce was being passed at the table, two people away from you, you instantly stilled and closed your eyes. You really didn’t want to puke. . . So, you did your best to ignore the smell, holding your breath. 

Jake noticed, placing a gentle hand on your thigh under the table as soon as your body stiffened. Your skin heated at his touch immediately. The butterflies were flying rampantly in your tummy. 

Naturally, you leaned over towards him and away from your Grandmother on your right side. When you were facing him completely, you looked up and into his eyes. 

“You okay?” He asked, Amber-brown eyes wide and curious. 

“The sauce—,” you gasped momentarily, catching a brief whiff when you stopped holding your breath. 

Your stomach rolled, the nearer it came. His hand tightened on your thigh, squeezing it reassuringly. So, you decided to not try to speak, instead, throwing your pointer finger over his shoulder and placing a hand over your mouth. 

He peeked behind him, seeing exactly what you were referring to. 

“Oh. . . Don't like cranberry sauce?” He quietly asked, grinning down at you. Both of you, in this little world with each other as everyone else rambled on about nothing around you. 

His hand was still comfortably on your thigh, his thumb creating soothing circles on the top of it.

Rather than taking the easy way out and just shaking your head, you decided to try speaking again. You opened your mouth, hushing the word, “Vinegar.”

Though, when the smell momentarily infiltrated your senses with the opening of your mouth, you almost hurled. 

Your eyes pinched shut to find a sense of calm, covering your mouth and nose with one hand. His thumb was now creating careful stripes against your cashmere pants. You blinked your eyes open at him again. A small grin settled on your lips as you went to hold your breath once more. 

The way he was looking at you had your skin growing warm. His irises held every bit of care the man could muster, you were sure of it. His own smile was secretive and it made you want to kiss him. . . So, so badly wanted to kiss him. . . Especially as his thumb went to move nearer to your inner thigh. His fingers, now nestled on the softer, inner part of your thigh, in the crease made between your legs. 

Your core was heating up at how near he was to where you needed him most. For a second, you forgot you felt sick at all. . . Your heart, thumping hard against your chest and distracting you from the momentary crisis. 

Then, he was speaking again. “I don’t like vinegar either,” he said with a wink, his hand held tight to your thigh. You were glad you were turned away from your Grandmother, not wanting her to be privy to this interaction that was making your skin catch fire. “Hate it, actually.”

Wait. . . . Your brows crinkled in wonder. . . .

Oh my god. . ., you realized, watching the sparkle of the dining room light flicker in his eyes. Is it because of him? Can babies inherit food aversions in the womb? 

You didn’t know, but it seemed like a logical assumption. Your heart leaped at the thought of her already inheriting his traits. It was at that same moment that he also let go of your thigh, coming out of the little world you two had created to address his brother. 

Josh was apparently speaking, trying to get Jake’s attention and effectively broke you two out of the little world you’d created for the past couple of minutes.

You were definitely upset by the loss of contact for a few seconds before you found reprieve in watching the back of his head. . . His gorgeous, long locks. . . Thicker than one might think, always taking so long to dry. Even though they’d been here for over an hour, you still saw a couple of damp strands from a shower he must’ve taken before arriving. . . . 

It was ridiculous that his hair was enough to make you feel better. 

God, you had it bad. . .  That was for sure.

You watched as he held a hand up towards Josh. Thank god. Because he was just about to pass the cranberries to Jake. . . . 

Oh, Jake, your hero. . . .

“Oh, yes. . .,” Josh said, snapping you completely out of your reverie. You turned back to face forward in your seat when you saw him pointing a finger towards his brother, whose hand now sat on his own thigh instead of yours. You admired the veins in Jake’s hand as it laid on his leg. . . His long fingers. . . . Those digits, so skilled. The sight and thoughts had your head spinning. 

The louder twin was turning back to Elsie with the sauce, where she held it, curiously eyeing you, not yet placing it back in the middle of the table. 

The curly headed twin decided to inform the whole table of what was happening when he spoke next. “Jacob, here, has an aversion to vinegar. . . Always has hated it.”

“Grandma’s one dish, Jake? Can’t even try it?” Elsie questioned, jokingly. She wanted in on it, but she was still silently questioning. 

She was still holding the bowl in her hands. Though, she was about to ask a follow up question — you could see it in her eyes. You had no idea what it was going to be, and you weren’t sure if you wanted to hear it.

But, thankfully, Grandpa beat her to it with his own reassuring statement. 

“Eh, it’s alright, kid,” Grandpa said with a small smile aimed towards Jake. The gray-haired man was putting some mac and cheese on his plate before passing that ceramic bowl to your Grandma. “It is delicious, my MJ. . . Just can’t be everyone’s cup of tea, hm?”

“Of course not, Harold. No harm, no foul,” she agreed, looking over at Jake with understanding painted on her beautifully aged features. She truly did age so incredibly well. You could only hope you’d be so lucky. “I’m not offended at all, Jake.”

Grandma smiled at something Josh said. But, you weren't aware of what he’d said because you could only stare at Jake, as he turned towards your Grandmother. 

“I promise I’ll try anything else you cook, Ms. Mary Jane,” he said in response to her, giving her an easy smile. Your chest ignited at the sight of the dimple in his cheek. “It’s not you, swear.”

“I believe you, sweetie. You’re welcome here anytime to try any and all of my other cooking,” Grandma assured before she was tapping you with a graceful finger. “Y/n. . . I’m sure you want some of the mac and cheese? You make it so deliciously, honey pie.”

When you were turning from Jake to grab the bowl from her, your Grandpa was still carrying on with your roommate. 

“Oh, Jacob. . .,” your Grandpa started as he forked at his green bean casserole. “Y/n’s homemade mac and cheese, kid. . . Woo-wee! My little Sugarplum is a fantastic little chef when she wants to be. . . You’ve gotta try it, son,” he encouraged, before taking a bite of his green beans. 

“Of course I’ll try it, sir,” Jake responded, nudging your shoulder with his own. You blushed under his attention, trying to focus on the warm noodle dish in your hands. “I do a lot of the cooking at home. . . Never really give her a chance to cook for me. Guess I should sometime, hm?”

Fuck. That sounded domestic. . . Too domestic. You didn’t look at him, kept your head down with a little smile on your lips as you hummed a sort-of response. When you passed the macaroni his way, your Grandpa’s little giggle caught your attention.  

Yes, giggle. 

What the hell? 

Had he caught on to Jake’s couple-y remark? Shit.

You looked his way, seeing he’d swallowed his last bite and was taking a drink of water. Then, he was grinning. “There’s no vinegar in it, Jacob – don’t worry,” he grinned, winking at Jake with a twinkle in his eye. “Unless y/n slipped some in this year. . .”

Thank god. You were very relieved that no one had picked up on Jake’s previous statements. . . Didn’t need anyone thinking too much of anything.

“Oh, yes, Grandpa. . . Vinegar in macaroni and cheese sounded too damn good. . .couldn’t resist the urge,” you sarcastically responded. Shaking your head at the older man, you released your own little giggle.

Your Grandpa’s joy around Jake was something you really, really loved. . . You couldn’t blame the old man for brightening up around the younger one. Jake brought the same immense joy to you. He made your heart feel warm in your chest.

“Okay, are we just going to ignore the elephant in the room? We all know — well, besides the twins — how much y/n loves Grandma’s cranberry sauce. . . Don’t you want some, y/n?” Elsie piped up from where she sat at the round table. She was across from you, and you caught her eyes with a raised brow. 

Was she forgetting you didn’t get to call the shots with what you ate these days? 

There was a tiny human who did a lot of the deciding. “The baby doesn’t like it,” you told her, sticking out your bottom lip. 

And, to avoid more questioning or Jake saying something without thinking (again), you decided to say something to (kind of) change the subject. 

You’d go ahead and drop the news you’d been anxiously waiting to divulge to your grandparents for weeks now. . . . News that you wanted so badly to share – even more than the news of the kicking. 

. . .which you still hadn’t told anyone about. Because, the more you’d considered it, the more wrong it felt to tell anyone before Jake. . . She was his baby, after all. Yours and his. . . No one else’s.

“I’d rather not upset the baby girl,” you remarked, looking down for a second to play it off. 

But, you couldn’t help the temptation to look over towards your Grandma when you heard her fork clatter against her plate. Elsie’s flare for dramatics came naturally from the gene pool. Your Grandma’s face made yours light up. Her blue, glassy eyes were wide with excitement, her mouth hanging open. 

“Y/n y/m/n. . . What in the heavens did you just tell us, sneaky pants?” She remarked, her tone one of a wise, all-knowing parent. “Did I just hear that my great grandbaby is a—?”

“A girl,” your Grandpa finished, from where he sat beside Elsie. His voice was full of pride. And when you looked his way, you saw the tears glistening in his eyes. His face read nothing but grandfatherly pride, his lips shaky with a small smile.

Your own eyes filled with wetness. Seeing your Grandpa so vulnerable was something you truly treasured. All your life, you’d wished to know every part of the (more-than-slightly grumpy) old man. . . And the more he opened up in recent months, the closer you got to knowing more and more of him. It was a dream for you, quite honestly. You’d always felt an innate sense of closeness to him. . . An unspoken understanding.

Back in the present moment, you were momentarily nervous over something you hadn’t really considered. . . 

Jake’s very apparent lack of reaction. 

You were too afraid to check his face for fatherly pride. All for the simple fact that you didn’t want him to accidentally out your fling to your grandparents. Though, thankfully, the two elderly people at the table didn’t catch onto Jake’s reaction. . . Or, lack thereof. 

Here was what worried you: you knew it would make sense to your grandparents for Josh and Elsie to already know. But would it make sense for your roommate to know the gender before family? 

Fuck. You didn’t know. You’d never done this shit before. But, even considering the fact that they had no clue who the father was, they still didn’t seem too worried by Jake’s non-response. . . 

Chances were, they just thought a roommate might not care so much about such a thing. And they were probably right to assume that. An ordinary male roommate probably wouldn’t care. 

But he wasn’t an ordinary male roommate. . . 

Noticeably, you weren’t involving him at the moment. And you hated it. You felt really bad for not — but it wouldn’t make any sense to your grandparents if you did. . . 

Though, Jake had to know something was amiss. You knew he did. . . Your back was turned to him during this important moment concerning his daughter, for God’s sake. . . Completely closing him out. . . Like he wasn’t involved at all.

Guilt overtaking you, you sent the briefest of peeks his way, only to find him forcing a toothless smile as he stared down at his plate. It wasn’t natural, you knew that much. And his leg was bouncing under the table to indicate he was feeling strange. 

But, to make matters worse, you watched his next move. Saw it happening before it actually happened. The tousling of the long hair over his ear was enough to show you that he, in fact, was not doing okay. 

He was definitely feeling jittery. He wanted to say something, you were sure, but he wasn’t going to say anything without you including him first. 

And he, by god, was not going to look at you. His eyes were trained on his hand, which was fidgeting with his fork against his plate. 

God. You felt so bad. Why hadn’t you just told them? They were going to find out eventually. . . 

Well. . . You knew why. You didn’t really know how to confess to a friends-with-benefits situation. . . . . to your grandparents. 

And now was definitely not the time you wanted to divulge that information. You’d already given them enough big news for one evening. The gender was a big deal. Only you, Jake, Josh, and Elsie had known. . . And now, your grandparents were in on the secret. It was exactly how you wanted it for the time being. No one else needed to know yet. 

“So, if she’s a girl. . .,” your Grandma started from beside you, causing you to look over and blink a few times in her direction. “Does she have a name?”

“Yes . . .,” you grinned, skin heating and stomach swirling with anticipation under the dubious expression on her finely wrinkled face. 

More than anything, you wanted to turn to Jake and have him say her name. . . Wanted to give him something exciting to share. But you knew you couldn’t.  

And it fucking gutted you. Made you feel like shit. Because it was his news to share, too. . . 

But, with the questioning gazes coming from your Grandmother and Grandfather, you knew you had to be the one to say it. They wanted to know now. And, as much as you wanted Jake to tell them right now, you’d put yourself in this position. 

“Lavender. . . her name is Lavender.”

And, even with your Grandmother’s crushing hug and elated words over all things Lavender, your heart continued to sink. Your Grandmother and Grandfather began debating, right in front of you, which big item they wanted to purchase for the baby first. But. . . you weren’t thinking about that. 

No, all you were concerned with was the man beside you. And you truly couldn’t resist the urge to flick your eyes to Jake amidst the joyous moment. 

But, still, he wasn’t looking anywhere near you. His eyes were still pointed towards the table, his thumbs now twiddling underneath the table, anxiously. 

Everyone flipping shit over the baby, and meanwhile, the  man who helped you make the baby was being left out completely. It was ironic that the moment was happening now. . . considering it had all started with the fact that you couldn’t eat the cranberry sauce this year. 

And the only reason you couldn't was because the baby bouncing in your womb had inherited the distaste from him. 

That was how closely entwined he was with it. She was half of him. She’d already inherited traits of his. Yet, the older people at the table had no clue that he’d had anything to do with it. 

Saying that you were at a loss would be a massive understatement.

-🌼🌼🌼- 

A couple of hours later, saw you in a much better mental headspace. 

Considering you were elbow deep in gifts now, you were able to divert your thoughts from the evening’s earlier events. And, one good thing was, aside from the pure sadness that had transferred from Jake’s heart and directly to yours, the rest of dinner had gone well. 

The topic of conversation had moved away from Lavender quite quickly. You hadn’t been able to stand watching Jake’s heart break right in front of you for much longer. So, after watching him for less than a minute and not knowing what to say to him, you’d decided to change the table’s topic to how good the ham was this year. 

And, with said subject change, Elsie had jumped head first into accepting the compliment. . . Which had gotten things going, once again, in a good direction. 

Truly, everything tasted better this year. It seemed that every year, you and Elsie got the hang of things just a little more than the year previous. 

It hadn’t taken long, then, for Jake and your Grandpa to wind up talking like old buddies, over music. And for the rest of your time at the table, you’d admired Jake with little chance glances. Though, there’d been no glances from him in your direction. 

You couldn’t blame him. And you hadn’t wanted to push him too far by inserting yourself in a conversation about your shared favorite thing (besides Lavender, of course). 

More than likely, he was less than impressed by your method (or lack thereof) of involving him in the Lavender conversation. Still now, you had the feeling that he wasn’t happy about any of it. 

Even as they were still going on about the music, Jake had chosen to not sit close to you. He was sitting on the couch a few feet behind you, ignoring you for your Grandpa — who sat in his chair across the room. 

You’d never witnessed your Grandpa be so open and talkative with someone who wasn’t in the family. . . But it made for a rather harmonious and divine holiday. You could listen to them talk for hours on end and never tire of it. . . Even when you had a bad feeling Jake was upset by your choices. 

And, there hadn’t been any more Lavender kicks to bring any other sense of completeness to your heart. It was as if she wasn’t pleased with you either. You couldn’t blame her or her father.

In the present time, you were, yet again, seeming to go against what she wanted. . . Your back was screaming at you as you sat on your knees, something you had never experienced before pregnancy. The back pain was a real enemy of yours.

You’d done a good job of ignoring it for the majority of the present unwrapping, but now you were shifting, every so often to sit slightly differently. When you were on your second to last gift, you decided criss-cross applesauce would just have to do. You were the last kid unwrapping — per usual. Josh and Elsie had already opened theirs, by age, and Jake hadn’t had a single gift. At which, he’d made sure to emphasize to your worried Grandmother that it was ‘completely okay’ and that he ‘wasn’t worried about it in the slightest.’  

Josh and Elsie’s gifts were the only ones left for you to unwrap at this point. But, even with only two gifts remaining, you couldn’t do any more of your heels pressing into your ass. Sore ass fuckin’ body.

The paper they’d chosen was shiny, just like yours. It caught every glimmer from the tree’s twinkling lights.

And, even if Josh hadn’t labeled his, you didn’t even have to guess whose was whose. 

Elsie’s corners were tucked (more like untucked) in the familiar way they always had been. While Josh’s gift was wrapped exquisitely, Elsie’s was wrapped. . . Not so exquisitely. Then Josh’s, labeled with a ‘to’ and ‘from’ and Elsie’s, with your name, scribbled in the top corner of the present from her. Her script alone was a dead giveaway. 

Josh’s gift came first. Once unwrapped, you found it in a smaller, long, slim box. A shallow box that didn’t give much room for anything too flashy. Josh’s gifts were always very thoughtful. Always drastically different than the last. 

For example, your birthday gift in February, had been the soft, fluffy blanket you loved so much and used every day. And with this box, you knew it would be nowhere near a blanket of any sort. Not even a baby blanket. 

You had no idea what to expect. All you knew was when you opened it to find a gift certificate for a professional maternity shoot, you could safely say that had been the last of your guesses.  

“Oh my god. . . Is this why you were so insistent on me understanding there was nothing wrong with my body the other night?” You asked, raising your brow at him, where he sat behind Elsie. “Needed me to be prepared for your gift?”

His own brow quirked, a smirk fitting to his lips. “Nooo, mama. That was just something you simply needed to know—need to know. This was planned already. Figured you deserved to have some good, professional photos taken while you’re in this magnificent and majestic state.”

While you weren’t exactly sure what to think, you were definitely anxious to see what could happen with a professional shoot. All of the theming possibilities. . . You wondered what all the photographer could do with lavender. . . The flower and the color. You were getting more and more excited by the minute. 

“Well, thank you, Joshy. . . I’m sure I will love them,” you grinned, winking in his direction. 

And while you wanted to turn and show Jake the certificate, you didn’t. One: it would be weird to your grandparents for you to do so. And, two: you didn’t want to piss Jake off any further. You just eyed the certificate to get a closer look at the company and the service. 

Glimmer & Glow Portraits. . . And, from what it looked like, you were getting The ‘Lush’ maternity shoot. . . It sounded pricey. The weighty material of the certificate felt expensive, too. And the swirly, embossed font screamed fancy. But. . . you’d never heard of the place. 

“Glimmer & Glow?” You questioned, holding the certificate up for Josh to see, as if he hadn’t been the one to buy it in the first place. 

“I’ll send you some example photos I saved of her work. She’s magnificent. Talked to a few friends from film school and they hooked me up with one of the best,” he explained, scooting closer to Elsie and wrapping his arms around her waist from behind her. “She’ll set us up with a newborn shoot, too, I’m sure.”

As you watched your sister and Josh mindlessly nuzzle each other’s noses, you couldn’t help the twinge of sadness at the fact that you did not have what they did. You, on the floor. And Jake, dating someone else entirely, while also being a few decently measured feet away from you. . . 

Your fate was a twisted joke. You couldn’t even look behind you to gauge his reaction to the sweet gift, for fear of embarrassing yourself or some shit. Josh and Elsie didn’t even have to worry about that kind of stuff. . . 

Though, instead of being sad, you tried to focus back on the maternity shoot.

“Seriously. . . Thank you, Josh,” you started, eyeing the certificate closer and looking at the specifications for the shoot. So many exclusive features. . . There was no way this had been affordable. “But please tell me this wasn’t too expensive.”

“Sam and Danny pitched in a little,” he assured, dodging the question. “Don’t worry.”

“I’m sure their portion was hefty,” Jake remarked sarcastically from behind you, on the couch. 

Hearing his voice had your tummy flip-flopping, made you feel jittery, all on its own. Though, what had you feeling the most overjoyed, was the fact that he was tuning in to what was happening with you. . . He wasn’t completely ignoring you. 

You wanted to look at him so badly, but. . . you refrained. All you could watch was Josh and Elsie in front of you, borderline absent from the room. It was depressing to watch, so you decided you’d move on to Elsie’s gift in the hopes of breaking up their display. 

“Elsie Mabel,” your Grandma tried, from her spot in the red armchair opposite your Grandfather’s chair. “Are you going to pay attention to your sister opening her gift?”

“Yes, Grandma,” Elsie groaned with irritation. 

But, you didn’t look up to see her presumed eye roll as you inspected the box carefully. It was also long, like Josh’s. But it was definitely more narrow, and not quite as flat. . . 

With a toss of your hair over your shoulder, you grinned at her. She was waiting for the question, a smile settled on her lips. “What sort of cry-worthy gift did you fit into this small box?” You quizzed her, genuinely curious. 

You were used to records or picture gifts. . . Sometimes a T-shirt with sentimentality backing it. The gifts from her were never dull — always thought out to the most specific extent. But you couldn’t remember the last time she’d gifted a small box. 

“You’ll see once you open it. . .,” she began with a purse of her full lips. “Don’t make me spoil the surprise yet, jerk.”

“Asshole,” you mumbled, beginning to pick at the paper. Slowly. You wanted to make her suffer in anticipation. 

“Oh, please. Go slower. I’d love that,” she mouthed off from beside you. 

“Girls. . .,” your Grandpa warned from his chair, like you were two hormonal, angsty teenagers all over again.

Ironically, you were still (very much) both angsty and hormonal. . . Just for slightly different reasons this time around. . .

As you snorted at the peculiarity of it all, you began to go a little faster to appease her and your own growing curiosity. Your Grandma provided background noise with conversation — as per usual. 

“Jake, honey. . . I haven’t even thought to ask you— how has it been with y/n’s pregnancy? Around the apartment? I’m sure she’s been a bit of a pill. . .”

Well, shit. Here we go again. . .

You froze your unwrapping, your eyes darting up to eye your Grandma, as inconspicuous as you could. She was right across from you. Not a white curl was out of place as she leaned, with graceful ease, against the arm of her chair to get a better look at Jake behind you. Her legs were stretched out, as they always were when she sat in her chair — and crossed at the ankle. Normally, the familiar sight would give you a sense of calm — but not right now. 

You felt your stomach drop, the present in your hands forgotten. You couldn’t see him, but you didn’t want to see him right now. You were worried. . . All you hoped was that this conversation didn’t lead to where it could potentially lead. . . But you had a bad feeling. . . . . 

Because, again, Grandma and Grandpa still didn’t know who the father was. And you got to win the fuckin’ prize for that wonderful decision.

“Oh, not at all actually. . . She’s been incredible,” he said, his tone lighting up significantly for the first time since he’d gotten to their house. God, you felt so damn bad. He continued easily, blissfully unaware of the torment in your mind. “It’s been nothing. I’ve more than enjoyed helping her. . . For whatever she needs, I try to be there. . .”

Whatever you needed was right. 

He trailed off on that one, and you couldn’t control the blush radiating in your cheeks as you looked down at the partially picked-at gift in your hands. You studied the gold of the paper in your clutch, noting every detail of it. From the scuffs on the paper, to the way the reflective material of the wrap danced with the tree lights. 

“Well, I’m darn glad she has you, honey pie,” Grandma replied, voice warm with sincere gratitude. She cleared her throat as she constantly did. And, again, it was not a comfort. It was nails on a chalkboard. . . Because you knew she was gearing up for more. “Truth of the matter is, you shouldn’t even have to deal with any of it. Considering you’re not the father. . .”

Fuck. You knew it was coming. Your body was tense, your heart thumping in your chest. . . notifying you of emotions you couldn’t show. 

You had a feeling, in the back of your mind, that she’d be the one to say something. It had been inevitable that words would be said, with how much your Grandma talked. 

If you were being completely honest, you were shocked that it had taken so long. It was nearing seven p.m., you’d discussed the goddamned gender, and they were just now mentioning the father.

Still, you were feeling, admittedly, really shitty about them not knowing who he was. Especially right now — like you’d felt earlier, but worse this time. It was completely clear now that they didn’t know. 

Josh’s eyes darted behind you, to where Jake sat. You could tell your friend was trying to be inconspicuous. . . And your grandparents likely wouldn’t notice his shift in attention to Jake as anything alarming. After Josh’s glance in Jake’s direction, you heard the latter twin uncomfortably clearing his throat from behind you. 

Goddammit. He was upset — had to be. And, he had every right to be. It would seem to anyone that you hadn’t said anything to them out of shame or embarrassment for who the father was. But that was the furthest thing from the truth. You just didn’t know how to tell them. 

All you were aware of at this moment was that you were a moron for not telling them sooner. That much was obvious. It was just. . . an uncomfortable subject matter to discuss with your grandparents. So, due to that, you were putting it off as long as you could. 

If you’d known he was coming today, though, you would have thought of a way on the spot to tell them before his arrival. But now. . .? How the fuck would you just throw that into conversation now?

The act of worrying over Jake and any possible internal or emotional reaction he could have to this was taking a decent amount of mental energy. So, you tried to simply zone completely in on the gift you were unwrapping. . . You could do that. . .

But your confidence in that shook when your Grandpa began talking.

“We just hope the guy is helping out a little,” the old man sighed, disappointment painted in the words. “Not leaving it all on the damn roommate,” your Grandpa grunted from his seat. You looked over at him, trying to feign any emotion besides the worry stirring in your gut. You found him adjusting his hands over his stomach before reclining back into his chair. “I mean, we can only trust the guy so much. . . We’ve yet to meet ‘im.”

God. Why were they being like this about it? So obviously hateful about the father? Though, with your Grandma’s next words, it all clicked. 

“The girls lacked a true father in their lives. . . He was only around for a bit before he was gone. . . Left their mother to do all of the work. . .,” she trailed off, the mention of your mother made the room still for a bit. 

Your mom was never mentioned — whether she was their daughter or not, you and Elsie were their girls. And, because they knew she’d caused you both immense pain — enough that they’d had to save you two —, they didn’t speak of her. Hardly ever.

So. . . Why all of this now?

“He was a deadbeat, MJ. . . Just say it,” your Grandpa emphasized the rude (but true) word, venom dripping from his tone as he spit it. “He refused to acknowledge his role as a father, but still stayed around long enough to make two girls he should have been better to. He missed out. . . Plain and simple. We can only hope Lavender’s father won’t make the same foolish decision.”

Your gut was rolling. The urge to vomit, suddenly lurking at the front of your racing mind. The mention of your mom and the reminder of your absent father made you feel even shittier. For a variety of reasons, you were feeling the most uncomfortable in this home than you had for a long time. 

Mostly, you were kicking yourself for not giving Jake the paternal credit he deserved. You couldn’t give two shits about your terrible parents and what they’d done (or hadn’t done) to and for you. All that mattered was Jake’s heart in this matter. And you knew how Jake was as a father. . . Completely opposite of your parents — both of them — in every way.

He was the ideal father. Helper. Co-parent. Already. 

But, only God knew how your grandparents would react to the news of Jake. Would they be angry that he was just now coming to a family gathering after so long? Would they be disappointed in you for not including him better? Would they automatically assume that he didn’t want to be a father and make assumptions before you could defend him? 

At this moment, it was impossible to tell them anything. . . And it was impossible to imagine how it would go if you tried. 

And, you were not going to make this Christmas any more uncomfortable than it already was at this very moment.

The only idea you could come up with was opening Elsie’s gift. You could get the room focused on something else. . . Anything else was better than this. 

Your fingers tore the messy corners of the paper with a much mightier speed. There was intention there that hadn’t been present before. Though, just before you could open the box, you heard Jake’s voice. 

You wanted to show him respect by waiting to hear him out. . . Whatever he wanted to say. . . (Also. . . you were admittedly curious how he would respond to all of that. . .) 

“Yeah. . . I mean, I never saw a guy traipsing through the place,” he started, his voice lacking any real depth. 

The pressure of your teeth against your lip was hardly noticeable as you kept your hand stilled on the lid of the box. At the moment, you didn’t even care if it looked suspicious that you were so focused on the sound of his voice.

He was trying to distance himself from the situation, trying to play aloof. You respected it, but it caught you off guard. What could he say next?

 “Well, there was one — is one — that she studies with every week. . . But there is no way it’s him,” he laughed sardonically under his breath. You imagined he was shaking his head. “Y/n wouldn’t ever lower herself to that standard of man. . .” 

“She has been rather picky through the years,” Elsie chimed in, from your right. You looked over to her, as she sent a grin your way that said ‘I’m right here. Don’t worry.’ “The baby’s daddy has to be an upstanding guy.”

Jake continued as though she hadn’t even spoken. His voice was clipped — you realized this. To anyone unassuming, his tone wasn’t strange. But to you? You knew he was pissed. 

“For all we know, the man was a mistake, Elsie. . . Who knows? A one night thing, perhaps?” 

Oh. . . So he was accusing you of one night stands in front of your grandparents?

“Jacob, she doesn’t venture down those paths. . .,” Josh tried, playing it off as a slight joke. “You know that.”

You were grateful for his quip, nodding towards him, in agreement with his statement. His brow was raised, though, when he caught your eye. . . He was questioning you. . . probably curious, as well, as to why you hadn’t clued your grandparents in on his brother’s role. 

Yes, again. . . you felt like shit about it.

Though, it landed on deaf ears where Jake was concerned. He clicked his tongue, his tone raising a bit to play off of a lighter feel. But you knew better. 

“I don’t know. . .,” he responded, presumably, to Josh. “She doesn’t really talk to me about anything. I found out about the baby by mistake, actually. . . She hasn’t been real big on telling people. Even those she lives with. . .,” he literally tacked on a huff of a chuckle to the end of his words. 

Nice. Hashing that instance out, too, was he? 

“It was shocking to find out, since I’d never seen anyone around. So, I don’t know. . .,” he finished with the curious words, just as he’d started. 

He was at a loss of knowing how to continue, it seemed. And so were you. His words were cutting straight to your heart. All of them. 

And, while he was obviously hurt (you knew him), he was playing it off strangely well. It just meant to you that he was really trying to put on a front for your grandparents. Knowing Jake, he didn’t want to cause any discomfort for them either. 

“Maybe she’s still feeling off about the idea of telling him,” Jake suddenly continued, apparently still having more to say. “Maybe she never will. . . And, yeah, maybe some would say she should give him the chance. . . But. . . that’s up to her.”

Fuck. Was that a backhanded thing? An emphasis on you not giving him a chance to your grandparents? Or were you just overthinking? God only knew. . .

“Oh, absolutely, Jacob,” your Grandma agreed, automatically. She was buying all of it. Jake was covering better than you could have begun to try. He was shielding your ass, even while ripping your heart to pieces with the hurt you’d inflicted on him. “I mean, I have to trust her. After all, I did raise the girl. . . And I believe she’ll do whatever she believes is best for her babygirl.”

“I agree. She’s already a fantastic mother,” Jake replied, a sad smile laced into his raspy timbre (you knew those little indicators in his tone). On your own face, you felt a watery smile form. If your grandparents noticed it, you didn’t care. His words were sweet, regardless. And, his next words caused the smile to become shakier. “I just hope if she does tell him, the guy isn’t a deadbeat. . . Y/n deserves better than that. The baby deserves better than that.”

Your baby, Jake. . . And that baby does have the best of the best. . .

The sniffle that escaped your nose was unstoppable, as was the single tear that trickled down your cheek onto your hand. You had to say something to that. 

“Thanks, Jake,” you replied, turning your head to the side to acknowledge him. Though, you were not daring looking at him. You couldn’t trust that you wouldn’t completely break down, thus exposing something on accident.

“It’s true, y/n,” he said, tone softer than you deserved for putting him in this situation. You were lying to your grandparents, not giving Jake a chance to be involved, yet again. . . And, still, he was being so kind. “You are an incredible mother to her.”

Goddammit. Your shaky hand that reached up to stop more tears was your savior.

“Well, I’ll be. . . You seem to have just as much to say about this as you do music!” Grandpa laughed, slapping his thighs. The sound made you jump, looking over at the man, from where you’d apparently zoned out on the air between you and Jake. Your Grandpa’s copper skin, freckled with dark specks; his cheeks were pressed with genuine dimples. He was obviously elated with Jake’s responses. “If only you were the father, son. . . We wouldn’t even be stressin’ this!”

“Harold!” Your Grandma scolded him, laughing at him all the same. “You quit that. Don’t want to make the poor kids uncomfortable.”

Oh, yes, Grandma. . . We wouldn’t want that, now would we? The thoughts were instantaneous as you closed your eyes with a shake of your head. 

When you opened your eyes, your attention was visually trained on her. But, your thoughts weren’t concerned with her. No, all you felt was the stare that was heating the skin on the back of your body. Your entire backside was hot with the fact that Jake was right behind you. You felt him. Your mind was swimming with him. Everything he’d said. . . 

And, considering he had said all of that, you hated how very silent he was suddenly being. . . 

. . .Or did you? 

What was better for you at the moment? What would not make your supposed POTS — whatever heart issue — go into overdrive? You knew both reactions would have you overthinking to incredible heights. 

Honestly, you were just glad he hadn’t found a reason to ask Josh if they could leave. . . Or maybe he was just waiting until the presents were all unwrapped to ask his brother if they could dip out. 

Your heartbeat was thumping in your ears at the prospect of him leaving.

Because, one thing you did know: you did not want Jake to be away from you. You’d missed him and needed to keep him close. So, you needed him to stay long enough that you could explain yourself. Had to make sure he understood why your grandparents were still in the dark. . . 

Though, did you even understand why anymore?

a/n: when do you think her grandparents will find out? and, um... how do you think the rest of Christmas will go?... hm... the possibilities are endless, one might say ;)

AS ALWAYS -- please send in asks, respond to chapters, etc. I PROMISE I SEE THEM AND IT IS THE BEST REWARD FOR THE DAYS, WEEKS, AND MONTHS SPENT WRITING THIS STORY! <333 this story takes up SO MUCH time in my already busy family-filled, work-filled, etc. life, but YOU all make it WORTH IT. So I LOVE to hear from you!!!!! <3 xoxoxo

trying my best to keep up w the Covet Visualizer... you may view it if you'd like. however, you don't NEED TO. i simply am a very visual person, sooo i made it for my fellow visual learners/lovers. the photos i pulled inspo from for y/n's photos in this chapter will be in the visualizer :D !!! (IF YOU DO CHOOSE TO USE IT, PLEASE VIEW IT IN PRINT LAYOUT!! — esp if you’re using the docs app/are on your phone!!)

Taglist (continued in reblog):

@joshym, @jakekiszkapunchmeintheface, @jaketlover, @ohgodthefeeling-gvf, @starcatcher-jake, @anythingforjtk, @lucimoo, @indigostreakmorgan, @gretavanbear, @katelynn-gvf, @alwaysonthemend @aintthatapity, @bowievanfleet, @fwzco, @takenbythemadness, @cherry-icecreamsmile, @laneygvf, @hi-hi-hello11, @sinarainbows, @jakesbarbarian, @mybussyinchrist, @becinabubblegvf, @heckingfrick, @danigvf, @pinkandsleepy1934, @derrangeddumpsterfire, @klarxtr, @josh-iamyour-mama, @abby-gvf, @cassyface, @gretavansabotage, @sacredtheslay, @alienobsever, @hollyco, @age0fwagner, @raceb14, @stardustcatcher, @styles-canvas, @ladywhimsymoon, @earthgrlsreasy, @peaceloveunitygvf @torniturntomyarrow, @joshsbonnet, @llrosee, @starshine-gvf, @itsafullmoon, @gvfmarge, @creadliz98, @mackalah, @lek-gvf, @carlyfleet, @profitofthedune, @mefiorini, @welllauragvf, @highway-tuna, @dont-go-home-without-me, @sarah-gvf01, @polemicandcontent, @ageofbajabule, @texas-bbq-pringles, @jennyraye20

I always try to tag everyone, but you all know how it goes! ughhh (taglist will be cont. in reblog !!) Please make sure you’re filling out my Google Form if you would like to be tagged and aren’t already on the taglist! <3

[ilwonuu]

hellooo So i'd like to request a period comfort channie fic. These cramps are killing me but I'd like to get killed by bang chan's sweetness instead :( (that sounded so cheesy ew hehe) again I love what you're doing. Thank youuu <3

yes of course ml!!! i hope u feel better that is the worst! im here to bring u channie comfort. thank you for requesting <3 ily ur so sweet thank u for enjoying my writing:(

𝖿𝗈𝗋 𝗅𝗈𝗏𝖾𝗋𝗌♡︎

࿌𐬿*⚘𝖻𝖺𝗇𝗀 𝖼𝗁𝗋𝗂𝗌𝗍𝗈𝗉𝗁𝖾𝗋

𖣥 𝗉𝖺𝗂𝗋𝗂𝗇𝗀－ 𝖾𝗌𝗍𝖺𝖻𝗅𝗂𝗌𝗁𝖾𝖽 𝗋𝖾𝗅𝖺𝗍𝗂𝗈𝗇𝗌𝗁𝗂𝗉， 𝗇𝗈𝗇𝗂𝖽𝗈𝗅！𝖻𝖺𝗇𝗀𝖼𝗁𝖺𝗇 𝗑 𝖿𝖾𝗆！𝗋𝖾𝖺𝖽𝖾𝗋

𖣥 𝗐𝖺𝗋𝗇𝗂𝗇𝗀𝗌- 𝖿𝗅𝗎𝖿𝖿<𝟥， 𝗍𝗁𝖾𝗒 𝗌𝗁𝗈𝗐𝖾𝗋 𝗍𝗈𝗀𝖾𝗍𝗁𝖾𝗋（𝗇𝗈 𝖿𝗎𝗇𝗇𝗒 𝖻𝗎𝗌𝗂𝗇𝖾𝗌𝗌）， 𝗈𝗇𝗅𝗒 𝗌𝗅𝗂𝗀𝗁𝗍 𝗌𝗎𝗀𝗀𝖾𝗌𝗍𝗂𝗏𝖾 𝖼𝗈𝗆𝗆𝖾𝗇𝗍𝗌， 𝗄𝗂𝗌𝗌𝗂𝗇𝗀， 𝖼𝗁𝖺𝗇 𝗅𝗈𝗏𝖾𝗌 𝗍𝗈 𝗄𝗂𝗌𝗌 𝗒𝗈𝗎 𝖺𝗌 𝗆𝗎𝖼𝗁 𝖺𝗌 𝗁𝖾 𝖼𝖺𝗇， 𝗉𝖾𝗍 𝗇𝖺𝗆𝖾𝗌 （𝖻𝖺𝖻𝗒，𝖺𝗇𝗀𝖾𝗅）（𝖼𝗁𝖺𝗇𝗇𝗂𝖾）， 𝖼𝗁𝖺𝗇 𝗂𝗌 𝖲𝖮 𝗂𝗇 𝗅𝗈𝗏𝖾 𝗐𝗂𝗍𝗁 𝗒𝗈𝗎，𝗆𝖾𝗇𝗍𝗂𝗈𝗇𝗌 𝗉𝖾𝗋𝗂𝗈𝖽 𝗍𝗋𝖺𝖼𝗄𝖾𝗋， 𝗆𝖾𝗇𝗍𝗂𝗈𝗇𝗌 𝗉𝖾𝗋𝗂𝗈𝖽𝗌， 𝗍𝗁𝖾𝗒 𝗅𝗈𝗏𝖾 𝗍𝗈 𝗍𝖾𝖺𝗌𝖾 𝖾𝖺𝖼𝗁 𝗈𝗍𝗁𝖾𝗋 𝗍𝗈 𝗌𝗁𝗈𝗐 𝗍𝗁𝖾𝗂𝗋 𝗅𝗈𝗏𝖾<𝟥， 𝗅𝗆𝗄 𝗐𝗁𝖺𝗍 𝖾𝗅𝗌𝖾！！

𖣥 𝖺／𝗇- 𝗁𝗂 𝗈𝗆𝗀，，， 𝗂 𝗅𝗈𝗏𝖾 𝗍𝗁𝗂𝗌 𝗌𝗈 𝗆𝗎𝖼𝗁 𝗂 𝗅𝗈𝗏𝖾 𝗁𝗂𝗆 :( 𝖺𝗅𝗌𝗈 𝖺𝗇𝗈𝗇 𝗂𝗆 𝗌𝗈 𝗌𝗈𝗋𝗋𝗒 𝗍𝗁𝗂𝗌 𝗐𝖺𝗌 𝗄𝗂𝗇𝖽𝖺 𝗅𝖺𝗍𝖾，，

chan already knew. he already knew you were gonna wake up not feeling well. you have a period tracker on your phone. he checked your tracker last night to make sure you guys didn’t need to go out to get anything. he confirmed that you guys had everything as he did buy you a bunch of things last month. you woke up with ruined panties. you went into the bathroom to shower. your boyfriend quickly shuffling in behind you.

“can i join?” you smile and nod at him. you know that it will be a calming shower with him next to you. he makes everything better. the two of you strip for your shower after getting the water ready. he follows you into the shower with a soft smile. “how are you feeling angel?” he lets your hair out of the braids from the night before for you. “i feel okay. remind me take some pain meds when we get out.” you smile as you let your hair run under the water.

“of course. i will just that.” he smiles at you as the two of you get comfortable under the water. you are facing him when you pull him into a hug. he hugs you back quickly. “i’m so happy we don’t have anything to do today.” he laughs. “yea me too baby. just want to spend the day like this.” you laugh. “in the shower?” he rolls his eyes at you.

“no silly, in your arms.” he kisses your cheek with a smile. “i want to stay all day in your arms too.” you pull him into a soft kiss. he’s kisses you back slowly and lovingly. you pull away with a big smile on your face. “mm that was too good.” you laugh with a smirk. “oh was it?” he teases you with a smile as he kisses all over your face.

“let’s get you all clean yea?” he asks you with a smile as he grabs the soap cleaning your body gently. “this feels nice.” you hum as you relax as he rubs your back softly as he cleans you. “don’t you get any ideas baby.” he smiles at you as you turn red. “i’m just kidding.” he laughs at your cute embarrassed expression.

“you’re annoying channie.” you turn away from him as you rinse the soap off your body. he just gives you another smile as he washes his body. after the two of you are done. you pull him to kiss you again. he responds quicker this time holding your waist close. after the two of you share a couple more kisses and get out he quickly grabs clothes for you.

“here you go baby.” he kisses your head as the two of your get dressed. after you two finish getting ready for the morning you compile back into your king bed. he grabbed your heating pad that he recently bought for you. your content in your boyfriends arms as he leaves soft kisses against your head. he rubs your sides softly to help with the pain. he didn’t forget your pain meds so you were feeling 10x better.

“are you falling asleep? i can turn off the show.” he whispers to you incase you are already drifting to sleep. “no- it’s okay channie i’m just resting my eyes. you feel so warm.” he laughs at you words.

“baby, i’m so sorry to break it to you but that might be the heating pad.” you roll your eyes playfully. “no you’re warm.” he just nods. “whatever ever you say. tell me if you at least want me to turn it down k?” you nod with smile.

he strokes your hair back softly. he leaves soft kisses against your head helping fall into deep relaxation. you wanted nothing more to have him every day of your period. he already made you forget about it. you were happy enough laying in bed with the soft tv playing in the back.

“you’re my everything.” he whispers to you with a kiss against your cheek. “gosh- shut up. why are you being so cheesy?” you blush at his words. “you’re so mean to me but i let it pass because you’re cute.” he laughs rubbing your cheek.

“you’re cute too i guess.” you roll your eyes at him. “i know you love me.” he kisses your shoulder before pulling you closer to him.

“i really do channie.” you confess with a blush. you felt happier with him. your period usually made you feel down. you were so thankful. you really do love him.

[angelicdanvers]

BREATHE DEEPER | four.

a charlie bushnell x fem!reader social media fic.

y/n

liked by iamcharliebushnell, levizmiller, dior.n.goodjohn, and others

y/n — australia’s my new fav country

tagged | levizmiller

levizmiller i’m challenging you to another round of pool tonight ↳ y/n bet

iamcharliebushnell when’d you go to australia? 😭 ↳ y/n when u didn’t show up for acai bowls >:( ↳ iamcharliebushnell im sowwy ↳ y/n DONT YOU DARE ↳ iamcharliebushnell okok sorry but thought you'd be in london ↳ y/n soon, yeah :')

levizmiller y/n im gonna poke you ↳ y/n okayy hi ↳ levizmiller let’s get boba ↳ y/n YES

dior.n.goodjohn I MISS U COME BACK TO ME ↳ y/n once my australian chronicles are over i promise i will <3 ↳ dior.n.goodjohn WOOOO

walker.scobell youre pretty! ↳ y/n thanks lil dude!

i.am.andrewalvarez AUSSIEEE ↳ y/n THE SWEET ESCAPE FR

aryansimhadri DID YOU SEE KANGAROOS ↳ y/n NO NOT YET THOUGH I HOPE I DO

dailymail Y/n and Levi? ;)

user omg bf reveal happening??

user2 ive never held my breath this much

“GALILEO’S GALS” — 5 notifications!

chanel’s enemy Y/N

lee lee Y/N

dr dre why am i in this gc

chanel’s enemy because u are

lee lee we’re getting off topic Y/NNN CMERE

↳ hiiiii?

chanel’s enemy HIIII HRU ILY

↳ ILY TOO BAE IM GOOD WBU

chanel’s enemy WE GOOD WE HAVE SOME ?’s THO

↳ oh?

lee lee ARE YOU AND LEVI DATING

dr dre OHH THIS MAKES SENSE YEAH ARE YOU??

↳ nooooo

chanel’s enemy that’s a very interesting no

↳ we’re not but idk

chanel’s enemy what

lee lee girl wdym

↳ we’re not dating but i think he likes me? idk

dr dre do you like him back though???

↳ eh he’s very sweet but i’ve always seen him as a best friend, i don’t think we could be more

lee lee do you want to be more??

↳ i mean, i’d give him a chance if he asked? but it’s not anything i’m particularly into or wanting

chanel’s enemy okay that helps

↳ uhhh why

dr dre well if my sleepy ass remembers correctly, everyone and their mother are wondering if you’re dating

↳ nah that aint possible

lee lee it is, stupid dailymail picked up on it first 💀

↳ my manager’s asleep, no wonder she hasn’t updated me lol oh well idgaf they can think what they want

chanel’s enemy but even walker and charlie are 😭

↳ they’re gonna forget it in t-minus four secs it’s fine

dr dre whatever you say, ma’am but are you sure that ‘cryptic’ caption won’t cause any issues??

↳ uhh andrew you’re scaring me

dr dre what if someone likes you? like like-likes you and knows you and gets hella jealous or doubtful? and not saying charlie does but he was raving about how he might finally get to hang out with you, ONE ON ONE. what if he thinks he can't because he thinks you two are dating?

↳ bro first off ik you don’t like me, neither does aryan and i know its DEFINITELY not walker

lee lee girl he had a celeb crush on you a few years ago dont tell him i told u that

chanel’s enemy LMFAOOOO but no andrew has a point how come you didn’t mention charlie? 🤨

dr dre yeah i was just aboutta say 🤨 especially after my little analysis?

↳ SECONDLY, guys, charlie doesn’t. not one bit and that’s obvious, like he isn’t even in considerations. i understand what he may feel but he has nothing to worry about. he knows i won't ditch him or anything lol (right?) but if anything the only person that’d be a little confused or whatnot is william

chanel’s enemy WHAT?? AS IN WILLIAM FRANKLYN MILLER??

lee lee huh 😃

↳ we dated for a month back when we were 15 or so and realized we were way better off as friends

lee lee why ?

↳ idk i think i was just jealous of lily 😭 but anyways we’ve been just friends since and i’m completely happy with that. i don't see him romantically anymore, yeah he’s hot but like nah. but yeah if he was confused, it's probably because i was best friends with levi when we dated too and might question if he was the cause of our split?? AGAIN THATS IF HE OVERTHINKS IT

dr dre i feel like i’m reading an autobiographical analysis you definitely are fond towards “millers”

↳ ur welcome <333 and NO i am not

chanel’s enemy okok so we got several people who’d be jealous

↳ WHAT WDYM SEVERAL I ONLY LISTED ONE

lee lee ain’t no way you’re ignoring charlie

↳ DUDES I REALLY DONT THINK HE LIKES ME

dr dre but there could be a possibility? just don’t rule him out

↳ bro he doesn't like me 😭 but yeah trust me everything’s gonna be okay again i dont like anyone and no one likes me, and we'll make sure it's obvious i'm single in case anyone does though that may take a while... ANYWAYS

lee lee suuuuure you should hang out with charlie btw

↳ idk why but im scared to 😭

lee lee but you need to he misses you a lot yk

↳ doesn’t change the fact that im SCARED

lee lee WHY WOULD YOU BE SCARED ITS JUST CHARLIE

↳ IDK I JUST DONT WANNA SEEM STUPID OR UNATTRACTIVE AND SHIT

lee lee HE FLIRTS WITH YOU ALL THE TIME AND MESSES UP JUST AS MUCH, YOURE NOT THE EMBARRASSING ONE HERE

↳ DUDE I KNOW I CAN BE AND I DONT WANNA DRIVE HIM AWAY

dr dre sure you and levi hang out and are sweet and shit but BRO the teeth rotting sugar is you and charlie in your damn COMMENTS

↳ ITS NOT THAT BAD, IS IT?? 😭 GOD I HOPE CHARLIE DOESNT THINK OF ME ANY DIFFERENTLY

chanel’s enemy i think u like charlie, miss girl

↳ NO

dr dre nah, they’d be cute together, even charlie said so himself

chanel’s enemy you dumbass

dr dre uhhh ANYWAYS said too much im gonna sleep again love youse

lee lee BRO yeah night babes <3

chanel’s enemy LOVE U BAE GN

↳ what the duck STUPID AUTOCORRECT WHAT THE FUCK AINT NO WAY YALL JUST DIPPED fine ily guys too </3 BUT DONT THINK IM LETTING THAT GO EASILY ugh what do you guys mean 😭 aint no way thats true OKOK YK WHAT BYE!! FOR REAL THIS TIME

— taglist.

@shokocoded @istillremberthefirstfallofsnow @surftrips @svtsimp22 @gcidrvsh @idontevencare1223 @thames-fig @captainshischier @reggieslifeboat @multifandom-loser @wheelerslover @mermaid-mqtel @randomnpc456 @kaithoughs @isab3lita @mariposa555 @sunshinessky @myr-cheri @thedeadlynights @ella33 @c1nn4mng1rl @poppysrin @breadbrobin @lucy-the-ant @jules-loves-lukecastellan @taloulalila @tom-pls-fuck-me @mia-luvs @iknowyoureabigfan @rinisfruity14 @chasebeth @auttumnsayshi @prettygirlformula @alwayswndr @balletfilmss @kestisvrse @1forthemoney2forthekish @eissaaaa @emelia07 @toffytaste @soulaires @bearwon @happy-mushrooms @simrah1012 @blimp-blimp @obxstiles @yuminako @hopexcroc @mackycat11 @knowugetdejavu @0puddleofgender0

thank you so much for all your love and support, it really means the world to me. y/n's beginning to find out certain things, wonder where things will go from here 🤔

as always, i will continue updating the taglist :)

i love you and am so proud of you, stay safe and drink water <3

[violentdelightsandviolentends]

omg ily sm hope ur doing okay💕💕

ive been thinking abt franm castle running into an old marine friend at a bar and taking her home ahhh idk

love u <3

18+ warning!!

“It’s been a while, huh?”

Frank looks you up and down where you sit on the bar stool, eyeing you like a predator does its prey.

“A long while, Castle. Where’ve you been?”

He hums, clearly debating whether to lie to you or not.

“Oh, you know. Here and there. Around.”

“That’s the most evasive answer I’ve ever heard,” you laugh.

You grin when he laughs with you, all low and rumbled. It’s a rare sound, coming from him. You savour it.

“Didn’t expect to run into you tonight, sweetheart.”

“I didn’t like it when you called me sweetheart ten years ago, Castle. And I don’t like it now.”

“What do you prefer, hmm? Baby? Darlin’? Hot stuff?”

“Hot stuff,” you reluctantly chuckle, glaring at him. “What are you, sixty? This isn’t the eighties, Frank.”

He pauses, running his eyes across your face. His gaze flicks down to your lips for a moment before looking at you again carefully.

“I’ve missed you,” he mutters, voice all honeyed and thick. “Been hoping I’d bump into you for ten goddamn years.”

You feel heat bloom across your chest, avoiding the intensity of his stare. You bite at your lip nervously, finally daring to look up at him through your lashes.

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.”

You take a deep breath, and decide to throw caution into the wind.

“Hey, Frank?”

“Yeah, hot stuff?”

You shake your head, fighting to keep the smile off your face.

“You wanna get out of here? Come home with me?”

He smirks at you, all mischievous and lust drunk.

“Yes, I do. I really fuckin’ do.”

[ursemma]

"I'll always love you" pt 3

Pt 1, pt 2, pt 4

Mattheo Riddle × F!reader

Theodore nott × F!reader (ex)

Warning: none

Summary: After going on few dates with Mattheo, you couldn't help but wonder what you two are since you haven't made things offical, what happens when one of your friend invites you to her wedding, and apparantly you've to face your ex with his wife, and you desperately need a date.

Mattheo and I have gone to few dates, fucked and behaved like a couple for few months, but things between us have never been official, and I don't want to ruin what's between us by asking 'what are we?'.

I was laying on my bed wondering what i felt for him, this was far way different than what I had with Theodore.

Theodore and I were..... Something I can't describe in words, not in a good way, we used to fight alot.

We used to fight and never solve things hoping it would go away and we'd be back to normal, it wasn't healthy at all.

We never used to communicate which would lead us to misunderstandings. Something which caused our break-up.

I had butterflies but in a bad way, in a way which would tell you something bad is about to happen.

But Mattheo, him and I are mythic.

We sure fight but they aren't the heated ones, the ones which makes your heartbeat fast and tears flow, the ones which you hate and want to runaway from. Our fights are more like "hey I wanted that icecream!" Or "huh you bet?". We fight like kids, over small things but in a teasing way.

And my inner child feels safe with him. It's like he's healing a part of me.

I was deep in my thoughts, and suddenly my phone rang. I looked over to see the name 'torie!' i smiled at myself before picking up the call, and I heard her voice.

Torie!:

"heyyy babyy"

Me:

Hey Astoria!!

Torie!:

Soo Draco and I, we're getting married!!!

Me:

Congratulations!!

Torie!:

Thankyouu love! I want you to attend the wedding, not only that I want you here for the preparations as well, I'll send you the address and you have to come I won't take no for answer okayyy byeee!!!!

Before I could protest she hung up and sent me the address. I sighed knowingly that Theodore and Daphne would be there, I wasn't affected by their presence at all, not after meeting Mattheo, but the fact that it would be very awkward if I went without a date was eating me up.

I looked at my screen and my finger hovered above the name 'matty~', I sighed and texted him,

Me: Hey Mattheo!

Matty~: Hey what's up??

Me: I need a favour

Matty~: go ahead, I'll be glad to help you out

Me: soo my friend is getting married and Theodore is going to be there so I need a boyfriend, to make sure it won't be awkward.

Matty~: soo...?

Me: would you be my boyfriend?? Like a fake one?? You know just for the preparations and wedding?? Like you're the only person I'm comfortable with soo?? Please please I'll do anything you want just say yes.

Matty~: okay fine. You owe me tho.

Me: yes yes thankyouu. We have to leave for the preparation day after tomorrow, at 5 pm, the wedding is in London, we've to catch a flight.

Matty~: I'll be there ;)

Me: thankyouu ily ;)

Matty~: anything for you, ily too ;)

I sighed while smiling like an idiots, I booked our flights and started to pack my bags and everything necessary.

Me and Mattheo arrived at Draco's Mansion where we all were staying in, only two days were left for the wedding, 1 and half to be exact.

"Y/n/n welcome!!!" Tori greeted me as she engulfed me into a hug.

She pulled away after 10 sec and looked over my shoulder "and whose he?" She asked me into confusion and before I could answer "I'm Mattheo Riddle, her boyfriend, nice to meet you Astoria" he said while sliding a hand on my waist and pulling me closer to him.

I looked at him with a smile on my face and Astoria smirked at me before saying "nice to meet you too Mattheo, your room is upstairs, please make yourself home" we thanked her before going in our room.

I freshened up and I was laying on my bed while Mattheo was taking a bath, so far we didn't saw Theodore at all for which I was thankful for.

A knock on the door disturbed me from reading my book. I went to check who it was and saw a familiar face, "Theodore?" "Y/n" before I could say anything Mattheo came out of bathroom, with nothing but a towel wrapped around his waist and interrupted us "darling whose there?" Before standing beside me.

I know this is short and I'm leaving you hanging but I'll post next part before the week ends and trust me it'll be long!!!

The next part would be the last one and it'll be uploaded shortly.

Tags

@hoeforvinniehackerrr @shartnart1

(if you wanna be tagged in next part make sure to comment!!)

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