#hi nyx ))): u have my heart

[readychilledwine]

Hello. First of all thank you for that post, it amazing and no one has ever responded. I would like you to write another story of az where they have a child and she and her child get kidnapped. And she dies trying to the child. Az goes bolistic. (If u don't want the reader to die it's cool with me. Whatever u think is best). Thank u and have an amazing day ahead.

Eeeeee. This made little pregnant brain go meeeeep. I kind of changed it up. I didn't want to actively kill the reader, because I can't imagine Azriel ever pulling himself back together after that. I just imagine if Azriel found someone he loved enough to have a child with, it would devastate him. So. I put a spin on it. if I squeeze my eyes shut really tight, I can create a world where he finds a mate and heals with her, but that wound would always be there, and that creates angst. So this is loosely based on the aftermath of your request. I'm sorry it isn't perfect.

Replacement

Warnings - trauma, mention of torture, Az being kind of an ass.

🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇

The words echoed in your mind. You aren't his mother! Azriel had screamed them at you so carelessly. Just because Xiden had come to you for a booboo. Just because Xiden had called you "mommy" and Azriel had heard it. How dare you seriously think you can replace her? What the fuck is wrong with you?

You loved your mate's son. You loved that little illyrian more than you could form into words. Shock had fallen into your own bones after he called you mommy and kissed your cheek, though. That wasn't a threshold you had meant to cross. It was an unspoken line in the sand. You were not his mother, and Azriel had managed to remind you quickly and make you feel so small over one word uttered by a child.

Your relationship with the two started a few years ago. You were Nyx and Xiden's private nanny. Rhysand had met you once in a volunteer childcare center. The two of you had talked about everything you had found important in raising little ones, and the High Lord brought you to his mate instantly. They had been looking for childcare whose values aligned with theirs for weeks, and Feyre, with tears of relief in her eyes, hired you on the spot and made a pay offer you would have been stupid to turn down.

You spent time with the two young boys constantly. You three would spend countless hours giggling. Your life ranged from cooking with them, playing with them, snuggling them, and doing basic school lessons with them, but mostly teaching them how to be good fae, teaching them right from wrong, showing them how to love and respect themselves and others.

Nyx was wonderful. You adored the little heir. But there was something about the way Xiden would hold your hand when you three would go for walks, the way he constantly searched for your approval. You can't remember if it was the first night he ran to your guest room on an extended care stay and buried himself so deep into your arms and pillows that made you love him, or if it was the solstice gift he drew of you, him, and Nyx that hung framed in your living room that sealed the deal, but you loved Xiden. Unconditionally and unexpectedly.

You had finally asked Feyre one night about his mother when she came over to bring you a birthday gift from the Inner Circle and the boys. Azriel had appeared after she told you gently Xiden's mother had died. He had the little male in tow. He had his wings tucked in so tight around him and his little footie pajamas and that made your heart tighten as he ran to you. 

The bond snapped for Azriel as you were kneeled down, holding his son and comforting him. It snapped for you when you woke up to the male shirtless in your kitchen, making breakfast for the three of you after Xiden refused to leave.

There was no going back after that. Xiden had a room at your apartment now. You had things in their home. You and Azriel told each other everything. Well, almost everything. He still had not told you about his former love or where she was.  Xiden had done it late one night after another screaming fit woke him up and had him crawling into bed with you.

I watched momma die, you had tried to tell him it was just a bad dream. But when his eyes met yours and he shook his little head, you shattered into pieces. I watched it, miss y/n. I watched them hurt momma.

You had approached Azriel about it gently, holding his hand as he closed you out. You didn't push the issue at all, knowing he'd tell you when he was ready to. You had, however, pushed for him to enroll Xiden into therapy with Madja.

That was almost 8 months ago now, though. Tonight had been the breaking point. It stung, knowing the male you adored had all but dismissed his son's feelings, and your own, without giving you a single explanation of why. You had left his home in silence despite him calling for you. You had shielded yourself for the time and sealed the bond so deeply into your heart that you couldn't feel him, and he couldn't feel you. 

You curled deeper into the bed, holding your blanket tight against yourself as you cried. You had no interest in replacing Xiden's mom. You never set that as a goal in this relationship. You just wanted to love Azriel, love his son. You wanted to support them, be there for them. 

A loud knock came at your door, and you ignored it. Then another, more insistent than the next, and finally, your door just opened. You knew it was him, that he had picked the lock. He made his way to your bedroom, opening the door without knocking and moving to sit on the bed next to you. 

"I'm sorry, y/n," his hand found your hip as he tried to get your attention. "I lashed out, and I shouldn't have. It's just- It's hard. Knowing she should be here, but isn't."

"I never wanted to replace her, Az. I never asked to fill that role." You voice sounded as broken as you knew it would. Hours of crying finally had begun to show damage.

"I know, love. I know."

"You won't even tell me what happened to them. All I can do is offer him whatever I can based on what I know, and then i get yelled at for it. How can I comfort him, help him, and support him when I don't know the full story. How can I support YOU when I don't even know what happened?"

His jaw tightened as he looked at you. He had been avoiding this conversation for too long, and now it had come to a head. "When Xiden was 4, he and his mother were visiting her parents in Illyria without my knowledge." Azriel looked up, blinking tears away as his throat grew tight. "I had made a few enemies in the camp they went to, and they took them. It took us 3 weeks to find them and track them down. By time we got there, she was gone. Xiden was.." His jaw tightened again. "He was traumatized. He had watched them rape, beat, and torture his mother for weeks. He was starved, sleep deprived, and disassociated from us completely. I only added to that trauma by slaughtering every single male in that place without thinking about the fact that he was right there."

"He wouldn't let me touch him for weeks. He ran to Rhys and Cassian instead of me. And it killed me." Azriel was biting his lip, shadows stilled and wrapped around him as his wings also pulled in. "I will never forget her lifeless eyes, her body, her bruised face. I will never forget my son's broken mind and soul. I will never forgive myself for what happened to them."

You sat up, running a hand up and down his back and between his wings. "It wasn't your fault, Az. She wouldn't want you to blame yourself."

He broke then, sobbing out a gentle I know as he broke down. "I just don't want him to forget her, how much she loved him, how much she sacrificed for him."

"He won't," you said firmly. "He never will. He's six, Az. He remembers his momma. He knows I am not her." Azriel nodded. "Az, you need to forgive yourself. You can't move forward, and Xiden can't move forward, with this cloud hanging here." Another silent nod as he leaned further into your touch. "You need to give yourself permission to be happy, to move on, and to take care of him without being scared of the world."

"It's just so hard," you nodded this time, kissing between his shoulder blades. "I loved her so fucking much."

"I know. Her picture is still up in your office. I make sure to dust it every day. You also have some of her dresses still. A few of her blankets." His shoulders fell, guilt flooding the now empty bond. "Don't," you whispered. "Don't feel guilty for loving the mother of your child. Don't feel guilty for wanting to honor her memory." 

"Please come back." Azriel sounded broken at the confession he was about to make. "He can't sleep when you aren't there." You nodded, grabbing a bag to pack an outfit for tomorrow. 

Azriel watched you moving through the room in silence. "I wanted to talk about you moving in," you froze on the spot. "Or us finding somewhere for the 3 of us."

"Az-"

"I fucked that up, though, didn't I?" You shook your head, rushing to him and throwing yourself onto him and the bed. "Or maybe I didn't?"

"Of course I want to move in with you two." Your response was muffled into his neck. You could feel his smile grow. 

"Perfect." He said.

"Perfect." You agreed. 

[dilfhos]

TRAINRIDE

#!WHO; DABI x fem!READER

A! i hope u ignore this cus its stupid but I think dabi/touya being a total scum to huge endeavor fan reader should be a thing

+ (i added my twist to it; at the time this was sent, i was on my dc shit heavy and id already started it)

#!CW: deadoves!n0nc0n, dirty talk, degradation, humiliation, implied exhibitionism, gaslighting, touya arc if you squint real close! dabi has dick piercings bc i said so

tagging: @mostlyheinous @scariusaquarius @dabislittlemouse @nyx--knacks @the-grimm-writer @ectologia

Dabi hated taking public transportation, especially now.

It subjected him to having to conceal his identity for one, blending into the fleeting crowds with dark, long clothing. It didn’t bother him as much had it been any other time, one where he wasn’t on constant guard or easily irritated by familiar phrases and his face.

Dabi only gave a quick glance to the glass behind him, eyeing the way his big hood hung low on his head, hand deep into his trench pocket as the other supported his balance. He drew his hood lower at the glance from a man on his left.

The train eased to a stop and the doors slid open as the crowd swarmed to bring in and send out more people. When the doors closed and the train began to move again, he found himself being thrown forward. A small yelp came from the woman in front of him, turned partially.

He was about to mumble something before his eyes made contact with what she was wearing.

Seeing that you were brazenly adorned in merchandise of the number one hero, he scrunched his nose up at the sight of your complimentary accessories before finally settling on your face. Preoccupied with your phone to notice his oggling, you shifted, body moving with the force of the train as it started moving.

Dabi didnt mean to look, but the subtle quake of your chest piqued his vision and he wished he wasn’t met with those same fucking eyes. How cringe you looked with the familiar navy phone-case you had on the back of your phone to match.

In fact, if Dabi wanted to, he’d stand there and count every one of Endeavor’s paraphernalia and the number could be well over three. You really walk around like that? Parading your favorite hero on your body like a fangirl poster.

He chuckled darkly before rolling his eyes. Yeah, you probably had one or two of them in your room that you fuck yourself to at night to boot.

The train was only a little crowded but not enough to fully obscure your body from his view. You were dressed in jeans, the denim pairing with a snug t-shirt that sculpted your chest perfectly under his gaze. On the back he could see the familiar bright flames. They were disgustingly familiar, completing the stoic features of the hero on the front.

“Endeavor, huh?” You finally glanced up, a bit surprised to find barely anyone on board at this point. A few men sat adjacent, some sleep, others occupied on their own devices and papers or simply dead in gaze as they awaited their respective stops.

Then him, of course.

Turning fully around you face the source of the comment and your heart began to hammer.

Under a subtle glance or two, he didn’t look too out of the ordinary. Dark pants, shoes and a coat on his back, he could’ve as easily passed for some unremarkable human being cold and exhausted from days events. However, under the certain proximity, you had a clear view of his face, unmistakably his metal-littered, scarred face and the dangerously piercing gaze to match.

You parted your lips but he held up a finger, silencing you before you could squeak a sound. He glanced around toward the few other occupants in the car, noting them to be of no significance until his eyes returned back to yours, the silent threat of impending danger weighing heavily in the air around you.

“Are you-are you going to kill me?” You finally said, voice sickeningly timid. Wide eyes peered up at him, height clearing yours as he slowly backed you towards the side of the car.

“He your favorite hero?” Dabi ignored your question, eyes flickering to your chest before his hand followed. You squeaked in surprise as he boldly placed his hand against your breast.

Jerking away, you prepare to to defend yourself when he gripped your wrist.

“To answer the question, I’m not gonna kill you. ‘M just gonna hurt you real bad though,” You’re spun before another word is uttered, the rattling of metal against wheels loud enough to drown your protests.

“Please don’t do this,” His hands were exploring your body, running up your thighs and cruelly pinching at the skin on your sides before settling on the hem of your jeans.

“Please don’t,” You whimpered shakily, meeting the villain’s eyes in the glass.

“I just feel like ya personally insulting me y’know?” He grunted over the sound of his belt clinking. His hand was back on your side now, nails digging into the meat of the exposed skin until drawing a wince.

Dabi shuffled forward until your hands were pressed against the wall of the train, steadying yourself. His other made quick work of yanking down your jeans until they rested around your thighs, panties on display before his hungry gaze.

“D-don’t. I’ll scream.” By now, you’d been reduced to a whimpering, teary-eyed mess, your frantic gaze shifting through the other riders for a witness to what was going on.

But they were all too preoccupied to care.

“Yeah, for who?” The passengers that did notice were the wrong ones.

You met the greedy eyes of the man closest to you and the way his own dropped down to your connected bodies. Dabi was quick to notice that and chuckled before leaning down toward your ear.

“Still your idol, doll? This is his society, you know? The one on your ridiculously, ugly top,” He snickered, his fingers hooking into the side of your panties.

Before you could cry out, his scarred hand clamped over your mouth at the same time as his cock breached your cunt. You tensed, nothing escaping you but a muffled gasp as he shoved himself past your tight ring of resistance. Your eyes were wide, peering back at you in the glass, reflecting off of the pain and horror present.

“Mm, so tight.” He licked the shell of your ear and you release a shuddering sob. He began a snappy, brutal pace, the thick cock dragging heavily through your dry walls. Every time he pulled away, you felt every vein, every metallic orb scraping against gummy insides.

He slammed back into you at the same time the train screeched over rusted tracks, grunting with every stroke, his thin hip bones snapping against your ass.

His grip was bruising as he held onto your waist, his wrist only flicking to push and pull you back onto his dick. His other hand remained pressed against your mouth to muffle your cries and moans. You reached behind to at least try and push him away, alleviate the grating pain he was causing but your attempts were laughable as he only slapped away your efforts.

Dabi sped up, stumbling forward until your front was pressed against the metal interior, body squished between hot and cool. The hand over your mouth dropped to hang loosely around your neck, tilting your head back to meet his. The hood over his head only served to make him all the more menacing with the shadow that casted over his grotesque features.

“What do you think Mr. Endeavor would say if he saw his biggest fan being defiled like this? Probably be disgusted huh? I mean, allowing a complete stranger to fuck you on public transportation.” Your eyes closed as you imagined the twisted look of repulsion on your favorite hero and the image brought you to more tears.

You hiccupped as he trailed fingers down in between your legs to brush against your clit, missing the way his grin widened at the way you suddenly tense up. You released a pained moan at the way your pussy clamped down on him.

“So sensitive,” He chuckled at the way you try and bite down your orgasm. He could feel you start to relax, your cunt pulsating around him as your juices started to slick him up.

Overhead, the sound of the loudspeaker crackling at the next stop had Dabi’s eyes glancing up, as if now aware of the time. Releasing you, his hand fell to your other hip where his blunt nails dug as his pace quickened.

“Stop’s coming up,” He mumbled. You didn’t really hear him though. You were busy trying not to give in to the way his cock was filling you up, the pain parting into pleasure, your juices beginning to fall and squish around his dick.

Your head hung low; you couldn’t even look at your reflection in the glass anymore, at the way your brows furrowed over glossy, blown eyes. The way your wet lips part to release silent moans. You were despicable. You couldn’t call yourself a fan of the great Endeavor anymore, not after this.

Not after him.

Dabi’s feet planted firmly, his hips suddenly stuttering to a halt. He was quick to conceal your squeal with his hand again as his dick twitched in your cunt. Your teary eyes widened as you felt warmth flooding you, too horrified to even move save for your trembles.

He was still going, slowly rutting his nut back into you with shallow strokes. It was only until you heard a chime overhead that he pulled away with a content sigh.

Dabi eyed the way his cum was beginning to seep down your thighs, dripping into your bunched up jeans and an idea formed in his head, one that had him grinning sadistically.

A moment later your trembling legs finally gave way allowing you to sink onto the floor.

He began to fix himself, adjusting the hood on his head. He threw a cocky salute to the man eyeballing him earlier and a final disgusted look down at those eyes on your shirt. He then shook his head with a forming smile, walking away and leaving you on the floor of the cold train. The whooshing of the doors were deafening in your ears as you looked up to greedy eyes.

Back at the hero agency, Endeavor’s phone lit up and a notification from an unknown number had his brows furrowed in confusion at the link. His scowl only deepened after further investigation.

DILFOS. do not plagiarize my content—current or archival.

[blue-sadie]

Tears Of Gold

Neteyam Sully x Human Reader

Prt 1. Prt 2

Summary: he didn't realize his feelings till it was to late and he regrets it ever since

Warning: reader death, asshole neteyam

Yn pov

It felt cold and dark even though there was light, even though I was surrounded by navi and friends I felt desolate, even though I was with family it didn't feel like home nothing ever did.

It was never was the same after we moved to the ocean no one was the same, kiri was more distant, neytiri was more angry while jake was more stricked with us while tuk was the same but she missed home, lo'ak followed tsireya around like a lost puppy and neteyam who acted as if we weren't friends to hang out with his new 'friends'.

I was left by my self most days except the ones where kiri felt guilty i was always alone or when I had to help neytiri with a few things but it was a very rare occasion.

"You forgot me again" I murmured to neteyam as he sat down beside me "oh sorry" he sighed out again before it fell into silence "what happened to u-" I whispered but was interrupted by nyx a navi girl who was one of the best fishers they have and the one who had eyes for neteyam "come on neteyam" she called out sweetly gesturing him over and he left without a goodbye or a look.

All I ever did here was sit around because no one wants to teach a 'demon' how to help or work around the village so all I do is sit in the sand making small shell bracelets and necklaces.

I stared into the water as it rose and descended on the shore watching as shells appeared and disappeared due to the moving sand i sat there waiting, waiting for a sign or something to happen i was frozen in a thoughtless daze staring into the water as the sun sunk behind the horizon, the water was illuminated by the glowing plants underneath the surface it was always a sight to see.

I don't know how long I was stuck there till I felt a presences beside me, he cleared his throat for me to acknowledge him "mom is looking for you" he murmured not taking his eyes off of me "she isn't my mom" I muttered but instantly regretted my words neytiri was nothing but nice to me but I could always feel her eyes burning stare into the back of my scull when I wasn't looking or the silent mutters of 'demon' under her breath it made me feel like a freak.

"Whats wrong" neteyam asked settling beside me, I finally broke "I don't belong here nete" I said glancing between him and the water "I never belonged here" I whispered as tears glossed my eyes neteyam listened not making a sound, he was scared because he didn't know what to do he used to and he feels guilty for letting you feel this way "i-i" he tried to speak but didn't know what to say.

"You were the only one who really felt like family now your a stranger too" I cried as the tears slid down my cheeks, he wanted to wipe them away and tell you that he still loves you but he knows that was a lie he used to but doesn't anymore he loves nyx.

"I wanna go home" I sobbed bringing my knees up to my chest " you are home yn" he whispered laying one of his hands onto my shoulder i let out a dry laugh as I shook my head "this isn't my home it never was" my throat was dry and sore "come on yn don't think like that" he rumbled as he moved in front of me taking my head into his hands using his thumbs to wipe my tears away "how about we hang out tomorrow for the whole day" he murmurs staring into my eyes "ok" he smiled as I answered him "Come on let's go" he smiled helping me up.

[Next day]

I woke up and ate some breakfast before going to find neteyam who was up and about i neared the his usual spot when I heard them and stopped dead in my tracts "why do you hang out with that demon nete" nyx asked harshly and my heart ached I was the only one he let call him nete.

"I feel sorry for her I truly do or I'd just leave her in the dust" he laughed dryly my hand quickly covered my mouth covering up a sob I stumbled back knocking over a few buckets causing them to notice me.

Neteyam looked at me with guilt and opened his mouth to speak but I just shook my head before running, running away and not looking back, I ran down the shore far away from the village.

I only stopped when my legs gave out falling to my knees with a thud I roughly wiped my tears trying to stop crying but I just couldn't "why" I cried "why" I whaled loudly.

I sat for awhile slowly coming down and being thankful no one came after me "I thought you were different neteyam" I cried rocking myself trying to calm down was our whole friendship a lie were those things he was saying really true.

"Yn yn" I heard multiple voices calling out to me in the distance but I didn't want to be found so I got up and started moving away from them.

Neteyam pov

"What the hell is wrong with you" dad yelled at me as we searched along the beach for yn "I don't know" I whispered I felt guilty but I don't know it was because I was caught or that I said those things "ma jake look" mom pointed at the faded human foot prints "let's go" dad yelled as we started running down the beach.

Yn pov

I was climbing on the rocks that aligned the shore maneuvering myself carefully not to fall but it was becoming harder with the tide rising making some rocks wet and dangerous.

"Yn" I turned abruptly on a rock and screamed as my foot got caught in a crack I fell over scraping my knees before wracking my head against the rock damaging my mask "fuck fuck fuck" I cursed trying to cover the crack.

"Yn" neteyam yelled as he ran over to me his eyes widening as he saw the crack that was starting to grow bigger and bigger "fuck yn where is your spare" he asked his hands running over my waist and back trying to find my spare "I don't have one" I said trying to stay calm and not breathe to fast.

"Dad dad over here" he called out but I already started feeling light headed and sick "i-i can't neteyam" I murmured He carefully cradled my body against his "I'm so sorry" he whispered as his eyes filled with tears.

I lifted my hand up to his face gently caressing his face "I love you neteyam" I said weakly as my hand began to fall but he caught it with his own and kept it by his face "no don't do this" he yelled but I only heard it as a whisper.

I closed my eyes sucking in my last breathe

"goodbye".

[purpleyoonn]

the line between love and war 11

C H A P T E R  11: PTD D1 Soundcheck

“It is said that the night sky is made up of tiny wishes that humans were never able to fulfill. That the stars only became bright by the fulfillment of those wishes. In your eyes, the stars that shine never seemed real, your childhood wishes dark and dim as you grow. But now, now you understand the twinkle in their eyes as they look down at you.”

Summary: Your experiences told you that soulmates were something you would never have the pleasure of having; something not given to you because of who you are, despite the soulmark that resides on your inner left wrist. During your solo trip to Los Angeles, you find out that you are more than capable, that your soulmates had been waiting for you for a long time, and would not be letting you go anytime soon.

Genre: soulmate au, bts au, idol bts, polyamory relationship, eventual smut

Paring: Idol!BTS x autistic!mc

Status: Ongoing (randomly updated)

Warnings: mental illness, talk of disability, lots of angst, miscommunication, feelings of depression, feelings of isolation, polyamory bts, stalking, dangerous behavior, eventual smut,

Chapter Warnings: mc has a fear of heights, mc insta live, protective bangtan, not that much going on, more of a filler chapter,

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Masterlist // Chapter 10 // Chapter 12

————————————————–

Previously on The Line Between Love and War:

“I need pictures with my daughter to show my friends.” Was her excuse for extra pictures, making you grin back at her. You didn’t mind, even posting some pictures on your Instagram afterwards, putting a small heart over her face to keep her anonymity like Hobi wanted.

You ended up spending the entire day with them, getting frozen yogurt and buying a couple of things that Jiwoo picked out for you, saying you would look beautiful in them. They were even cotton like you wanted.

It was an amazing day with family.

Today was the first day of the concerts the boys would be giving, and you had all left early to SoFi stadium for soundcheck and any last-minute things the boys would need to be aware of. You had arrived somewhere between eight and nine that morning, coffees in hand.

You had planned the night before that you would be going with them early, your backpack already packed with snacks and whatever else you and Jungkook decided to pack. 

Jungkook has deemed it his job to make sure your backpack was always ready for you, filled with what his instincts told him you would need. So, he insisted on helping you pack, practically pushing you out of the way to make sure you had everything you needed.

You could see how nervous and stressed everyone was, so you decided you would try and stay out of the way of everyone, not wanting to add to the already busy day. So, once you were introduced to the staff, you had kissed the boys goodbye, ignoring their confused stares, and left their dressing room to explore the stadium.

You had your backpack with you, probably making you gain a couple of weird looks, but you ignored it with the thought of exploring. You would never have had this opportunity before, and your curiosity always won out, unfortunately. Your eloping had caused a lot of problems growing up, and you tried your hardest to ignore your instincts, but sometimes they won out.

You moved through backstage first, lanyard and badge worn around your neck so the crew knew who you were. It also helped that Seungho walked a few paces behind you, glaring at everyone that even looked your way. He had been very protective since the incident at the mall. You tried to tell him that it wasn’t his fault, but he didn’t seem to agree.

You tried to make him smile again by showing him a picture on Amazon of a backpack that had a leash, telling him that you would use it if he wanted. He laughed out loud before shaking his head no. Jin liked the idea though, saying he would have the company make BT21 versions and use the RJ one. Namjoon just shook his head.

You looked at everything you could, from the lights being adjusted to going on the stage where the boys would perform. The gates for soundcheck wouldn’t be opened until three, but you could already hear fans lining up outside the arena, screaming and laughing in excitement for the concert. It had you feeling a little wistful, wishing you could go out there and have the fan experience you dreamed about.

But, you realized, you got to experience something none of them would. While it didn’t make you less wistful, you tried to not be upset about the experience you wouldn’t get. Instead, you decided you could give the fans a new experience.

You opened up your Instagram, and after figuring out how to go live, you hit the button and waited. You were a little insecure, thinking no one would view it, but within seconds you had over a thousand people watching the live.

“Oh, I didn’t think this would work. I’ve never done this but I figured I could give you guys a tour!” You whispered excitedly into the camera, hoping you wouldn’t get into trouble. You didn’t know if you were allowed, and in hindsight, you probably should have asked, but you were excited.

“Hi everyone! My name is Y/N. Wait, you would know this if you’re following me. Uhm, anyways! This is the set up for the stage!” You aren’t quite sure how to turn the camera from front facing to back facing, making a concentrated face while you do so, but instead you just turn yourself so they can see the screen.

You move down the stage, making it so where you weren’t in the screen as you moved. You then turn around so they see the empty seats.

“In just a couple of hours you guys will be in here, then maybe it won’t be so empty.” You look at the screen, seeing comments and questions and a bunch of hearts pop up, surprising you as you didn’t really expect that. You see one that asks where the boys are.

“Where are the boys? Oh! They are getting ready for soundcheck and the concert. When I left the room to explore, they were talking about last minute changes to their outfits.” You hope your answer is okay, reading more of the comments as you move off stage and down the stairs to the seats.

“Oh wow, the stage looks so close when you are in the first row! Now I know how you guys get so many good fancams!” Your excited voice can be heard from the stage, where the boys are starting to come out. You had trouble controlling your volume when you got excited.

Jimin was the first to spot you, standing in front of the first row on the left of the stage, holding your phone up so you could be seen.

“Hyung? Is she on a live?” Jimin pokes Hobi, before pointing to you. Hobi and the others look at you, answering a fans question wondering what you were going to be wearing to the concert. Jungkook is quick to grab his phone, opening up Twitter to see nothing, while Taehyung opened Instagram to see you were in fact going live.

“She is live on Insta, Jiminie.” He spoke, sending his own hearts to you on the app. Jin peaked over his shoulder to see you smiling at the screen, his heart fluttering at how happy you looked.

“Oh, what’s this? Are you sure? They are supposed to be getting ready for soundcheck.” You mumble when you see a bunch of comments come up saying the Taehyung commented on your live, looking up to see Hobi, Namjoon, Jin and Yoongi on the stage, waving dramatically at you. But you didn’t see the others. You thought they were still in the room when an arm wrapped around your waist.

“Oh my gosh you scared me!” You screamed at Jungkook, smacking at him as he just laughed, holding his chest. Jimin and Taehyung appeared over your shoulder, waving at the camera as tons of comments appeared for the boys.

“Well, uh, say hello to ARMY, boys!” You speak up, pointing at the camera. A chorus of “hellos” from the boys had you hearing screams from outside the arena. You turned to Jimin, asking him if the soundcheck was starting soon.

“They are going to be letting them in soon.” Was his response, his eyes focused on the comments flowing on the screen. He was determined to learn English, even more so when he recognized a couple of hate comments. He didn’t want you seeing that so he grabbed your phone out of your hand.

“See you soon, Army.” He gave his biggest smile before hitting the “end live” button. (However, army figured out why he ended the live so quickly and proceeded to make edits about how protective he was while also making edits about how cute you and your facial expressions were.)

“Hey! I wanted to say goodbye.” You told Jimin once you saw he ended the live.

“Sorry baby. The crew is about to let the fans in for soundcheck.” He brought you in for a hug, then proceeded to guide you back onto the stage where the others were waiting.

When you got on stage, you could see the crew running around backstage, doing so many last minute things so the soundcheck goes off without a hitch. You walked with Jimin to where the boys were huddled, his hand planted firmly on the small of your back, keeping you close.

“I see you had some fun on live, baby.” Namjoon spoke up, a dimpled smile on his lips as he pulls you in for a hug, your cheek happily smooshed against his chest. You nodded at his statement, too comfortable and warm to bother moving.

You loved when they hugged you like this, letting your entire body just fall into them, their arms wrapped around you, just letting you relax into them. It felt so nice and had you feeling warm and loved.

You had your eyes closed, missing the look Namjoon had sent you, a soft smile on his lips. But Hobi didn’t miss it, taking a quick picture and archiving it into the newly made folder on his phone with your name on it. He already had a bunch saved, mainly candids of you, seeing as you didn’t really feel comfortable with posed photos yet.

You just listened to them talk about how the soundcheck was going to go, leaning into Namjoon as they began to put their in-ears on. They all already had their mics in hand, making it simpler for them as they discussed which song they were going to rehearse first.

When the army’s with soundcheck tickets started trickling in, Namjoon had squeezed you against him really quick before reluctantly letting you go, pressing a quick kiss to your lips.

“We will see you later, okay?” You nodded your head, almost too relaxed to think about speaking. The others also bid you the same goodbye, kissing your lips in passing as they moved to their places on stage and Seungho guided you backstage.

“Do you think we could watch the soundcheck too?” You turn to Seungho to ask him when he began to guide you back to the dressing room.

“I don’t think it’s safe...” He began to say when you cut him off.

“I won’t watch from the front! What about the higher up seats? Like the 200’s section?” You ask him, basically pleading with your hands bundled together in front of your chest. You even tried to break out the puppy dog eyes that always worked on Yoongi.

“I promise we will be safe.” You tell him, hoping that will work, and then squealing from excitement as he finally relents and nods his head. You grab his hand and practically drag him to the entrance you remember from your earlier exploration that led you to the stairs that take you to the higher sections.

You waste no time climbing up the large number of stairs in front of you, almost tripping a couple of times to Seungho’s dismay.

When you reached the top, you were excited. You moved from seat to seat trying to figure out which one had the best view, spending a couple minutes picking before eventually sitting in the one right in the middle of the first row. None of the fans could see you unless they were specifically looking for you. (They did, in fact, spot you and your photos circulated twitter for a couple of hours)

You took your backpack off and took out the army bomb you snuck in there behind Jungkook’s back. You put your batteries in it and excitedly started waving it, causing laughter to erupt from Seungho, his eyes closed as he laughed at your animated form.

You didn’t know where you would be during the concert, so you came prepared in case you were allowed to go to the soundcheck and didn’t have to be backstage. You really wanted to experience the concert and didn’t care how you did it.

You tried to stay still in your seat but it didn’t work. You danced and sang along the entire time, happy that you could hear the songs live, even if you weren’t necessarily at the concert.

However, during a small break in the soundcheck where the boys had some issues with the back track, you took a second to look around, realizing exactly how high up you were in the stadium. You could feel your heart racing, as if trying to jump out of your ribcage. 

You think the last time you were high in the air was at your home city’s yearly fair, where you had a panic attack on the Ferris Wheel years ago. You didn’t realize you were still scared of heights, not having been any place high in such a long time.

You were starting to feel sick, so you sat down and slowly turned to Seungho, who had noticed something change in your energy.

“Can we, uh, can we get down? I forgot I was scared of heights.” You whisper, unable to force your volume any louder in your terror. You were feeling dizzy and like you were going to fall over the edge of the balcony with every second that ticked by.

“Of course.” Seungho spoke quickly, helping you to stand up on your shaky legs before holding your hand and slowly helping you back down the stairs to the first floor. You felt like a newborn doe walking for the first time, your legs shaky and unbalanced.

“Why don’t we find a couple of seats in the 100’s sections, behind where the floor is set up? Would that be easier for you?” Seungho asked, knowing just how badly you wanted to experience the soundcheck like a normal fan. You couldn’t be on the floor for safety reasons, but he didn’t see why you couldn’t at least be behind them.

You think about it, turning your head to glance at where he had gestured. It wasn’t too high off the ground and seemed to be at the relative height of the stage where you had previously stood already.

“I think so.” You nod at him, and he could still see the traces of fear across your expression, the way your eyes had widened, lips pursed and jaw clenched.

Seungho brought you to the small steps that would bring you to the first row of the 100’s section, maybe ten feet from where the people at the edge of the floor were standing. You noticed another guard move over to where you were standing, in between you and the fans in soundcheck.

Despite the boys being on stage and surrounded by fans, you were still a priority to the staff and security.

You enjoyed the rest of soundcheck in the front row, not as energetic and excited as before, but you couldn’t help but shake your arms side to side in front of you, your hands in fists as you tried to not stand up on your still shaky legs. Your stimming had Seungho relaxing a little, knowing you were feeling slightly better, or, you would be as you continued to stim.

A couple of minutes before soundcheck ended, Seungho decided it would be the best time for you to go back to the dressing room and wait for the boys. You agreed, also wanting to go back and see them and hoping they would be able to spare some time for cuddles.

You’ve decided since meeting them, you loved cuddles. You loved being held. You loved being touched. But only by them. It was a weird conclusion to you as you hated being touched before you met them. You didn’t care though. You loved how you felt being with them.

You called the feeling ‘small thoughts no brain’. You didn’t have to think about anything, worry about anything. You didn’t have to make any decisions, knowing the boys would make them for you. You could just lay in their arms and feel warm.

Within minutes of you entering the room and sitting down, your backpack resting against the bottom of the long, black couch, the boys had come back in, smiling and laughing. Their energy was palpable and had you even bouncing in your seat. They had put their mics back in their cases before moving to where you sat.

Hobi was the first to reach you, with Taehyung being a close second. They both wrapped their arms around you and had you sitting in this weird position where you were sitting in both of their laps. Taehyung had his head resting on your shoulder while Hobi had his chin resting on your head, your own laying against his shoulder.

“Did you enjoy soundcheck, pretty girl?” Hobi asked you once you became comfortable in their laps.

“I did after we moved down to the lower section.” You grabbed his hand and held it in yours, your fingers tracing shapes into his palm. “I forgot I was scared of heights and being up in the higher sections was not fun once I realized how high up we were.”

Hobi’s eyebrows furrowed at your words. They had planned for you to be in the luxury box they reserved for their family and friends who had flown into LA. If you were scared of heights, that was not going to be good seeing as the box overlooked the lower section.

“Hey Namjoonah?” Hobi called out to their leader who was reaching for a bottle of water from the ice bowl on the catering table.

“Yeah?” Namjoon called back, looking at the three of you relaxing on the couch.

“We need a new plan for Y/n to watch the concert. Our baby is scared of heights.” Once Hobi called this out, everyone looked at you, making your cheeks redden in embarrassment and look down at your lap.

“Don’t be embarrassed love, we all are scared of something.” Jin had walked over with his own water bottle, placing a hand on your chin and tilting your head up to face them again, placing a swift kiss to your lips before moving to sit on the couch opposite you.

“What about having her be in front of us? Like we have the gates around the stage, where the security stand. What if we have her and Seungho along with a couple others stand there? That way we can also keep an eye on her?” Taehyung suggested, his thoughts causing a couple eyebrow raises as the others thought about it.

“I think that could work. Baby, what do you think?” Namjoon turned to you; his last sentence aimed at you.

“Uhm, maybe if I could wear my headphones? I don’t have any like, concert earplugs.” You think about it and feel better when you see Yoongi nod his head at your suggestion.

“Alright then. We well let Sejin and Seungho know. For now, I would appreciate if I could have some pre-concert kisses from my littlest mate.” Namjoon reached his arms out, pouting his lip a little knowing it would cause you to laugh at him.

You struggle to get yourself out of Hobi and Taehyung’s embrace, who noticeably tightened their grip once Namjoon opened his arms.

“Heyyyy, not nice!” You whine, finally pulling yourself away and falling into Namjoon’s arms.

“But we want pre-concert kisses too!” Taehyung whined back, making you laugh again, hiding your face in Namjoon’s neck.

[call-sign-jinx]

Bradley "Rooster" Bradshaw - Her

Summary - you’re Bradley’s best friend and he tells you who he loves which breaks your heart

Warnings - fluff, swearing, drinking

Main Masterlist Bradley ”Rooster” Bradshaw Masterlist

A/N - hiya me luvlys! how r u luvly people doing today? also, for whatever isn't requested specifically, the reader will always have a northern british accent, like a manchester accent. just a preference sorry ahaha xx

bradley "rooster" bradshaw x fem!reader

Bradley has been my best mate since I moved to America. I moved in right next door to him with my mum and dad and little sister Alya. We moved to America because my dad got a new job and thought it was best for all of us.

Bradley then became my best friend very quickly. The first day we met to be more precise. He stuck up for me when I were getting bullied during my first week of my new school. Some bitch decided to take the piss out of me and Alya cause we’re fucking Polish? Okay mate. Anyway, I’m getting side tracked here.

Bradley stuck up for me and Alya right off the bat. He was so sweet and he gave Alya his lunch cause them kids decided to fucking take her lunch which is just classic stupid ass bully shit from films.

Now god knows how many years later, we’re in the Navy, as Naval Aviators, went to different academies, and we’ve both been called to Top Gun. He was the first person I called to tell him. And I was the first person he called. We immediately went down to our favourite bar to celebrate, Alya coming as well cause she’s part of our group. But in all honesty, me and Bradley are closer.

Currently, me and Bradley are sat in his Bronco on our way to the Hard Deck to meet some of the other aviators. Hopefully there’s another woman there, if there isn’t I’m gonna be too overwhelmed with testosterone. I already get enough from Rooster over here.

Anyways, as soon as I got into the Navy, people gave me the callsign Fox (you can change the callsign and why you got it but I’m going to use this 😊) because “I’m a fox”, meaning I’m sexy, according to everyone at my academy. Which consisted of all men and one woman who was a WSO who soon retired to be with her family after a training scare. God I miss her, her callsign was Nyx. She was amazing. Bradley said I got my callsign because “I look cute but I’m a silent killer”. I like that reason better.

Back to the Hard Deck. Me and Bradley walked in talking about some shit we did back in high school. Which I am not proud of because it mostly consisted of making out with lads and getting stupidly drunk at parties which led to Bradley taking me home while I sang California Love.

As I looked around my eyes instantly landed on a woman with military uniform on and my eyes lit up. I quickly made my way toward her, accidentally leaving Bradley, and introduced myself.

“Hi, oh my God, you don’t know how happy I am to see another female aviator here…” I looked to her name tag and saw her callsign, Phoenix. “Phoenix! I’m Y/N. But my callsign’s Fox. It’s really nice to know I won’t suffer with too much testosterone alone.” I was rambling at this point, but she didn’t seem to mind. She smiled and nodded at everything I said.

“It really is a relief, before you came over here I thought I would be alone with all these guys. And I love your callsign. How’d you get it?” Phoenix gave me a inquisitive look and I smiled remembering the day some jackass gave it to me.

“Because I’m ‘foxy’ then everyone started calling me it and it just stuck. Because of some fucking wankstain that gave it to me.” Phoenix then burst into laughter as I said “wankstain”.

“Guys are like that all the time, especially Hangman over there.” She points to a guy and he looks like a real life Ken doll.

“Just this moment I thought he was a 6’2 Ken doll. He looks fucking plastic. Wondered why the Hard Deck would put a Ken Doll display up in here.” Phoenix then began laughing to the point she had to hold her stomach.

As Phoenix gained composure, I felt a hand rest on my shoulder. I turned to look around and saw Bradley. I smiled up at him and rested my head on his hand.

“I see you’ve already met Phoenix.” Bradley stretched his arm across my shoulder and smirked at Phoenix. Does he like her? Why would I care anyway? Do I care? Does he like her though?

“Yep, and I like her more than you already.” I turned my body to face Bradley and he placed his hand on his heart in mock hurt.

“That hurts my feelings sweetheart, how dare you.” The new nickname brought heat to my cheeks. I looked down to my feet quickly then looked back up to him and put a smirk on my face.

“Aww poor Bradley, come on Phoenix we need to give him a hug. He’s having a bad day today.” I made a pouty face and Bradley just stood there with a pissed off smile.

“Shut up Y/N. You know you love me.” I rolled my eyes as Bradley came up and and hugged me by my side.

————————————————————————

“Bro, I can’t be arsed with getting up so early just to meet who we’re gonna be trained by.” I said to Rooster as he took a swig of the shared bottle of Apple Sourz that I got an hour before meeting up with him in his Bronco.

“Best not be some prick who’s full of himself. I swear if he is and he tries anything wiv me, you, Bob or Phoenix am gonna spark him out.” Bradley lets out a hearty laugh and pats my shoulder.

“You British people sure do have a way with words sweetheart.” There it is again. The nickname. It brings heat up to my cheeks yet again and it’s not dark enough to hide so Bradley can see it.

“Are you blushing Y/N?” I immediately look away as my worries were confirmed. Bradley saw me fucking blush. Great.

“No why?” I pretended to be oblivious to the raging red covering my face. It got even darker as Bradley squinted his eyes at me, getting a better look at the rouge covering my whole face most likely.

"You're as red as a tomato Y/N. Is something wrong then? If you're not blushing then why is your face red?" I wanted the ground to open up and swallow me, I may be called Fox but I don't think I can get myself out of this one.

"It's getting a bit hot? That's why. It's getting hot." Bradley rolled his eyes at my answer. But he didn't press on it any more. We sat in silence for what felt like forever. Until I broke the silence.

"Bradley?" Bradley sat up and turned to look at me before nodding his head for me to continue.

"How come you've never had a long term girlfriend? I'm sorry for asking but I've always wanted to know because, not gonna lie you are quite easy on the eyes so I just don't understand it." Bradley's eyes widened in shock. I was lying when I said he was "quite easy on the eyes" he's fucking gorgeous! He's fucking perfect for God's sake!

I immediately regretted what I said and before he could even open his mouth I blurted out, "Shit! Sorry! I don't know why I even said that. Just ignore it, you don't have to-" Bradley cut me off by putting his hand over my mouth.

"It's okay Y/N/N, I'm fine with answering any questions you have for me. We're best friends after all, aren't we?" I nodded in response.

"It's because I never truly or fully like or love them. There's something stopping me from doing that. Because I like that thing so much better and all I do is compare them to her." My eyes widened and heart broke, he was in love with someone? That's why he's never had a long term girlfriend? Because he's in love with another woman?

"Her?" Is all I could say. Tears threatened to come out of my eyes, I couldn't cry in front of him after he said that. It'd make it obvious that I was in love with him.

"Yeah, and she's amazing, I think I love her in all honesty. She's smart, she's funny, she's beautiful and she's brave..." I had to look away so Bradley didn't see me cry. She already sounds so much better than I could ever be and he only named 4 things about her.

"And she's got a Callsign that she hates but I absolutely love..." He grabbed my chin with his index finger and thumb and made me look at him.

"And do you wanna know what her Callsign is?" I nodded my head, wanting to know this amazing woman who made Bradley swoon for her.

"Fox." My heart literally stopped. I couldn't breath. The tears completely stopped and I couldn't help the massive smile that was painted across my face.

"Me?" I just wanted to confirm it. Confirm I wasn't imagining that he said my Callsign.

"Yes you. You're the reason I've never had a girlfriend for longer than a month. Because to me, you're so much better than all of them combined. And before you ask, the reason I didn't tell you is because I thought that if I had told you, you wouldn't feel the same and it would ruin our friendship. And yes I know that that's what every guy says to his girl best friend in most of the movies we've watched. So don't even comment on that." In response to his confession, I threw myself on him in a big hug that knocked him onto his back on the bonnet of his Bronco.

After I pulled away from the hug, I looked into Bradley's eyes and smiled. He loved me. Bradley fucking Bradshaw loves me!

"I love you too Bradley. I always have and I always will." Before he could reply, I connected our lips as I ran my hand threw his hair. His mustache tickled my top lip and it made me giggle slightly. Bradley almost immediately kissed back as his hands trailed down my torso to my waist and pulled my closer. I swiped my tongue across his bottom lip asking for permission and he quickly allowed it. Bradley then squeezed my waist which elicited a slight moan from my mouth.

When we both finally pulled away, Bradley had a look in his eyes that I've never seen before. I furrowed my brows, confused at his expression. "What?" I questioned him and all he did was smile more than he already was.

"I've just realised that my life is perfect now that I have you. And no one else can have you." I rolled my eyes with a playful smile on my face.

"You have to pop the question before you can say that, Rooster." We both now had the same smirk on our faces.

"Y/N Y/M/N Y/L/N, will you be my girlfriend?" He had a charming mixed with excited smile on his face. One I couldn't say no to of course.

"I would love to be." With that, he pulled my into another kiss.

I finally felt at ease with him. He is basically my emotional support animal but a human. He's always been there for me and now he's my boyfriend. I couldn't be any happier than this right now. Nothing can beat what I'm feeling right now.

[the-sides-shows-gang]

Meet the Group!!!

Mmm... Ahh. Greetings to you Tumblr, I suppose I shall introduce myself, it is rude not to after all. My name is Chocolette M. Shake, but you may just call me Chocolette. I'm pleased to meet everybody here. My Toon Handler is Cream (@winniemobile/@winnccc). I suppose that it is all, I'm pleased to make your acquaintance.

H411000!! I7z m3 G488y, h3r3 wi7h my 700n h4nd13r Paula! (@dysfunctionallygrey). I7z 50 nic3 70 m337 u a11. 1m 5up3r dup3r 3xci73d 7o h4ng 0u7 wi7h u 5up3r dup3r p30p13z!!!!

[HALLOOO!!! Itz me Gabby, here with my toon handler Paula! Itz so nice to meet u all I'm super duper excited to hang out with u super duper peoplez!!!!]

Hello! I'm not really comfortable introducing myself but here goes nothing! The name's Quartz pleased to meet you! Uhh.. Hello.. it's been a while since I've talked to someone besides Quartzz, uhh I'm Windston.

(Did I do well?) (Yeah! Don't worry.) So anywaays! We share a toon handler! We're practically inseparable, Windston and I are basically siblings! - Wait, right our toon handler! It's Amos! (@de-nyx), I hope we wouldn't be bother!

Hello there! My name's Benson Bellsworth, I don't usually get to introduce myself formally like this, anyway, my Toon Handler is @starseagal, I sure hope you enjoy your short stay here!

Oh hello!! It's me Tammy The tangerine! Well... What is there to say about me? I like art and I love teaching kids about alot of things! My toonhandler is Emmi (@staremmi) And id love to know more about you!

Hey! Its me, Okinawa! But toons call me Oki, you can call me that too! I dont spend much time here since im busy in the kitchen baking or teaching children how to bake pastries! (Of course I dont let them be around the oven. My toon handler will kill me.) Anyways, my toon handler is Mir (@justiceforbubbletea) and you can always reach out to her! Thanks for coming by!

//Now the group's introductions are out of the way, here's our own introductions!!!

Hello there, I'm Winnie!! I'm more online on @winniemobile, but I suppose @winnccc can do if I'm ever possibly going to be more active on my PC account again. I have multiple Rotomblr/Pokémon IRL roleplay blogs, my most notable being @pokeconspiracy. I run Chocolette, and when she talks on here, her tags in the posts will be #chocolettecommentary, and when I do talk ooc here for any reason, it will be under #winniewords.

Hi it's me Grey, I'm the one running Gabby. She is an oc dear to my heart she is literally my daughter to pls be nice to me haha. Of course you can find me on @dysfunctionallygrey posting about random stuff from lots of different fandoms. When my girl talks she will use #gabbyyappy but for when I talk it's just #notgreytalking.

Hi! hi im @de-nyx! or you could call me Kov if you'd like! I'm pretty sure you'd recognized me from my Phighting and Quartz especially if you've seen my most recent posts. Oh yeah and Windston's Oc creator (My sister but we'll call her JimPity) isn't comfortable with making a tumblr account so everything from her will span from me, such as her art and future Windston interactions. I also have a tag specifically curated for the both of them #StoneGemConversation (jimpity said it sounded like an ass ship name and i have to agree with her - and i know it sounds stupid but bear with me its 12:12 on a school night.. kinda) But, I also have tags separate from Quartz and Windston being: #QuartzChats and #Mumbleston respectively. and for ooc stuff its gunna be like uhh #HeyLookNyxTalks (PS. If you follow me due to you liking JimPity's drawings, I'm not here to supply! everything shared here made by her is really strictly kept private because you wont see me posting her art on my blog)

Hey there, I'm @starseagal, I run Benson, I'm usually active when I get a chance so I won't answer right away so bare with me and my messy schedule and my life, anyway, when you wanna ask Benson anything just use #BensonBanter and when you wanna talk to me about anything just use #Startalking here. (Sorry if it's very short I don't use this app much.)

Hey it's me Emmi! Its my first time having one of these blogs.. but I can't wait to get to roleplay as Tammy! For Ic speaking tags I use #tammytalking and for the ooc tags it will be #emmispeaks

Hiya im @justiceforbubbletea! My toon is Okinawa, or in other cases, Oki, a little bubble tea guy! Hes always busy with Sprout, Cosmo, and Tammy, but hes always ok to talk with others! Anywho, I use tags like #Okispeaking for IC speaking, and #MirYappingTime for ooc tags! Thanks for reading!

Rules when interacting with this blog!!!

1. No hate speech!!! Racism, homophobia, transphobia, etc., will NOT be tolerated. Telling someone to "kys", even as a joke or ic, you will be BLOCKED.

2. No bullying/ooc hate!! I don't know why this should even be a rule when this should be the norm, you will be blocked if you don't follow this. But in terms of IC hate... it is... debatable.

3. No NSFW, whether implied or obvious. We are all MINORS. Please behave, or you will be blocked.

[hella1975]

HELLA HOW DID YOU LIKE UNREAL UNEARTH?? FAVORITES??

finally finally FINALLY listening to this album im literally sat here laptop open finger on the play button genius page up ready to just spew out any thought i have in real time. let's go!

de selby pt1 - i forgot how much i fucking love hozier's lyricism. he just gets it. he's a master at his craft it's truly an honour to exist in the same time as him. this song is so calm but in a haunting way, like the stillness of fog on a lake in the morning. your reflection cant offer a word to the bliss of not knowing yourself. okay!!! OMG THE IRISH!! absolutely adore how vocal hozier is about his culture and even just how much his accent comes through on this album compared to earlier tracks. also love how the intensity builds in this part of the song this whole thing is stunning

de selby pt2 - THE WAY IT SLIDES RIGHT INTO PART 2! LOVE LOVE LOVE! very different vibe but it works. i love how there's always so many layers to hozier songs. like de selby alone has the actual song meaning AND the references to the third policeman AND its relevance to the circles of hell that we keep throughout the album. as far as media consumption goes hozier has never once failed to deliver an entire banquet. also love the whole 'becoming each other' of it all with de selby. ouroboros love. hannah have u seen this

first time - this feels like he's singing in a pub somewhere u love to see it. the liffey would have been softer on my stomach all the same! unearth without a name! some part of me must have died the first time you called me baby! this is v classic hozier imo just the most gorgeous love song u ever heard. also i love the themes of light/dark he's weaving into all these songs. girls when there are themes and symbolism <333

francesca - YEAHHHHHH i could talk about this song for HOURS there's so much going on it is so far my fave of the album ID TELL THEM PUT ME BACK IN IT! insanity. if a man sang about me this way id throw up blood

i, carrion (icarian) - insane song name. hello. what the fuck. is this about icarus. did hozier himself actually write a song about icarus. one sec. OH MY GOD HE DID WHAT THE FUCKKKK. "this song has tried to imagine that he was so enamored and so breathless and so ecstatic in the moment that he felt the air rushing by him, that he never knew he died" THEY HIT THE FUCKING PENTAGON. beautiful gorgeous im inconsolable cheers for that

eat your young - LETS GOOOOOO. cuntism off the charts. i listen to this at least once a day

damage gets done - circle of greed time! 'we had nowhere to go and every desire for going there' 'being blamed for a world we had no power in' god :')) the HARMONIES!!!! this is exactlyyy what being young is like good and bad. this is such a car song

who we are - I JUST HELD IT TIGHT SO SOMEONE WITH YOUR EYES MIGHT COME IN TIME TO HOLD ME LIKE WATER OR CHRIST HOLD ME LIKE A KNIFE WHAT THE FUCKKKKKK NO ONE FUCKING TALK TO ME. the uncertainty of growing up that he tackles in this, finding purpose, grappling with the fact there isn't always one. the last verse going soft and gentle. what was the NEED for this

son of nyx - another mythology reference! im crawling up the wall. ohhh it's instrumental! just looked at the meaning behind this and wow. this is beautiful

all things end - ADORE this song and the message of it. literally if there was anyone to ever get through this life with their heart still intact they didn't do it right!!!!!! and all things end!! and we begin again!!!! i just know zukka nation is going to go crazy with the parenthesis titles after this one

to someone from a warm climate - this is such a cool idea for a love song. like being from somewhere cold so you know how to stay warm, and saying to someone from a warm climate that it's okay if they don't know those things because you'll do it for them. the domestic, casual affection of that. it's not a bold declaration it's just confirmation that i'll keep the bed warm for you. that's all there is. that's all there needs to be

butchered tongue - ive already read some stuff about this one and ive been really itching to listen to it. the way he alternates between singing about the violence of the english against the irish (particularly the wexford rebellion) and the loss of culture there to how it relates to violence and loss of culture experienced by natives of countries on the complete other side of the world, how he's able to identify with that while still acknowledging that his language at least has a written history that can be recovered, while many native cultures dont even have that. there's no translator left to sound a butchered tongue still singing here above the ground. this whole thing is just. haunting and the fact such a big singer like hozier is taking so much time and care to talk about and spread awareness about ireland is very very cool to see

anything but - VIBE CHANGE! THIS MAKES ME WANT TO DANCE OMG! more water themes too omg i love this 'if i had his job you'd live forever' DAMN 😭 me personally i wouldnt have that. also the repetition of all the things he wants to be sooo true that's the human condition baby!

abstract (psychopomp) - ive been thinking about making a post for TIME about like. the desensitisation to death that you get from growing up in a rural area so listening to this is sooooo. like yeah. you remember the first animal you saw die don't you. you know the smell. the look in its eyes. see how it shines. see how it shines. this is an insane thing to write a song about. and to tie it to love? humanity? and the ongoing undercurrent of the circles of hell? CRAZYYYYY. this song is religious. to me. it's also very coldplay sounding actually? which is only ever a good thing

unknown/nth - HELLOOOOOO YOU KNOW THE DISTANCE NEVER MADE A DIFFERENCE TO ME!!!!!!! DO YOU KNOW I COULD BREAK BENEATH THE WEIGHT OF THE GOODNESS LOVE I STILL CARRY FOR YOU???? THAT ID WALK SO FAR JUST TO TAKE THE INJURY OF FINALLY KNOWING YOU?????? lyrics of all time. caving my own skull. top 3 songs on the album

first light - light themes again!!! dante surfacing from hell!!! the end of a journey quite literally!!! he can't keep getting away with this!! i love how... heavy? this gets in places. like it's got all the instruments and backing vocals all going at once with his voice overarching everything it's amazing. this is a perfect end song <3

[crguang]

I like paying Genshin…🫣 but I suppose you and I can’t have all the same opinions. Speaking of which, I don’t understand why people like Natasha…I’m sorry in advance. I can understand liking most of the others, like I get the appeal but idk….can u explain? now that I’ve told you all my bad opinions…I still haven’t gotten all the messages from Kafka, very upset, I got yanqing from standard the same day AND HE KEEPS MESSAGING ME, I need him to stfu. I was rewatching kafkas story quest and umm, I haven’t looked at that photo in a bit….ngl I kinda want to rip open that slit in her shirt and—yk I need to sleep, ik when I start being less shy I need more sleep I haven’t sleep for like two days. also my friend just said that I probably don’t like nat bc she’s a doctor…my mommy issues strike again.

-🌠

i loved genshin i played it for over 3 years but by sumeru their characters stopped appealing to me, arlecchino saved me from boredom in fontaine and that archon quest was also really good but character wise she’s the only one i care about. with natlan and those white ass characters i just cant like logging in and seeing white people with latin indigenous/african inspired clothing, names and history pisses me off to no end, they lost me forever with that one bc yelan reran and i still didn’t log in consistently to get her cons… shes c3 forever now. i get mad seeing any natlan character atp like im so over this stupid game

not liking natasha is insane… if you like himeko theres no reason to not be as crazy about nat because they’re so similar personality wise and we actually know more about nat than we do about hsr himeko rn😭 i don’t see why you don’t see the appeal honestly, she’s a sweetheart who’s upheld an entire city basically on her own. not to diminish wildfire members but she literally created that too. only doctor in an impoverished and disorganized city, runs an orphanage, leader of the sole organization meant to keep the peace… she’s willingly taking on all of that responsibility because she can and wants to help. shes not even from the underworld, she was adopted by a couple in the overworld and did her studies there. not to mention that before she was a doctor in the underworld she went on expeditions to heal those fighting against/researching the fragmentum…she’s literally the most “morally good” aligned person ever. disliking her is kinda unimaginable to me bc all shes done is save people’s lives and be pretty. kafka’s nothing compared to my natty. i get it if she’s just not your kind of character but disliking her is insane to me when himeko is the same kind of kind-hearted, diplomatic, intelligent, courageous, ruthless-when-need-be person😭 natasha stepped up and saw people dying all around her for over a decade, she gave kids like Seele a future and a purpose in life and has spent every day fighting for them, she’s even condemned her own brother because the methods he was using for his research/goals were hurting others. hasnt talked to her parents in years and didnt know her dad had died because of it so she wasn’t allowed a moment to grieve like im sorry shes a hero of the people, no one has worked harder than she has— i’ll die defending natasha she’s incredibly admirable and inspiring to me. she thanks her patients for surviving gruesome surgeries, imagine the amount of people she’s lost because of the underworld’s lack of supplies yet she CARRIES ON! the strongest person ever. and she’s so gorgeous like that’s my baby fr. plus her voice is really nice. she’s the whole package, i take her so seriously if theres only one natasha fan in the galaxy its me!!! thee only healer for months before lynx came out, let’s all remember our roots (i wasn’t there but wtv) for a second. everyone’s used natty she’s an OG!

i thought kafka had only 2 messages and was getting moze/jiaoqiu’s for days then saw that anonymous “hi, nyx” and lost my mind at 6am on tuesday. hope u get them soon theyre so pathetic… she cares so bad. like soooo bad i cant believe she exposes herself like this do we think it’s because texting is easier or bc she’s intrinsically linked to the tb or both?… because those texts (+ the fact that it’s her reaching out) are just insane.

i love how yall never go all the way with thirsting when i literally write smut like i promise you can say you wanna fuck her 😭😭 everyone’s gonna agree. the things i’d do to her would have me in the hospital for dislocated joints like it’s okay theres no shame in being horny

and you definitely need to go to bed!!!!!!!! now!!!! try taking some melatonin/tea if you can or getting off your phone an hour before going to sleep, it might help a little. but you should be sleeping it’s dangerous to go too long without it, how are you even functioning right now

[astarionposting]

do you know any blogs with actually unique tavs? Like yours? This may sound rude, but it's not my intention! But some tav's are looking very much alike or look like they use tiktok..

Hello! Personally I love all Tavs/durges/ocs and think they are all unique, even if some may look similar, it just means it is a good design and good taste ;)

As for my favourite tavs/durges/ocs, I really love these blogs:

@haarleps - so many amazing and unique ocs, I really love Freyr and Nyx <3

@cheekylittlepupp - MIRA, MIRA IS VERY BEAUTIFUL AND I LOVE HER

@anderwelt - Ceres and Tae are some of the most unique looking ocs I’ve seen, and their newest designs look soooo good <3

@mercymaker - Malayne - drow oc that is incredibly hot, like she is so mother

@vspin - Tav’Lyn - Another Drow oc that I am in love with and is also very mother I love her so much

@korcariiwitch - Vel’wyn….ANOTHER Drow oc that is incredibly hot and I am also in love with (are you seeing a pattern here yet?)

@julietvoid - I love their oc Naenia so much and have a huge crush on her like her scales, her hair, her eyes, EVERYTHING I wanna give her a big kiss

@honeysulani - Oak is the hottest green dude I’ve ever seen and I’m obsessed with his design it is so cottage core to me

@elminsters - Eurydice is incredibly gorgeous and we need to see more of her, once I stop procrastinating my Tav edits this weekend I’ll eventually get to her and I’m so excited 😭 (also the story of Eurydice and Orpheus in Greek mythology always makes me cry so her name has a special place in my heart)

@stinkrascal - SOOOOO many beautiful and unique ocs, u just have to go take a look like fr go do it rn, but I have to say Aza is one of my fav designs

@bhaalbaaby - PENELOPE and HELE!!!! that is all I have to say 😌😌

@tadpole-apocalypse I FORGOR TO ADD beautiful, amazing, incredible, show stopping art work of their OC Morgan and their art style is so unique I love it

I also remembered I had a similar ask to this one and mentioned pretty much the same blogs and also some extra ones! I didn’t want to tag too many people again just so I don’t annoy them, so I just tagged the blogs I see regularly posting oc content/the OCs I have a big huge giant crush on 😊

If you are a Tav/durge/oc blog, reply as well so I can add you to the list! I always love discovering new blogs <3

[stargazingfordreams]

The Stars that missed the Sun

Nyx x Reader

Warning- arrange marriage, cute stuff.

Part one, Part Two, Part Three

Chapter Four

I made my way to the garden. My heart was pounding out of my chest; I could hear the footsteps behind me. It was Nyx who had followed me out. I turned to see him standing there with concern etched on his face.

“What’s wrong?” he asked me, reaching to touch my arm, but I moved away. Avoiding his gaze so he couldn’t see the tears streaming down my face.

“I can’t do this,” I said, my voice barely above a whisper. I can still hear the dinner I stormed out on still in full swing, chatter and laughter going on. But for me, everything was happening in slow motion.

“I can’t pretend that everything is okay when it’s not. I’m sorry” I wrapped my arms around my waist, hoping it would somehow hold me together.

He looked at me for a long moment, his eyes filled with pain “ I understand,” he said softly, “but please don’t push me away. I want to help you, to be there for you”

“I know, I-” I stopped myself. I wanted to give myself completely, I tried to tell him that I was falling for him and that I was getting in my head about us and me being here, I wanted to say to him that I missed my family, but I couldn’t, and it was for so many reasons. I just couldn’t open myself to him but why?

Because what if he leaves? The thought crept into my head. What if he goes like everyone else?

“I want to go back to the townhouse,” was all I said, Hurt was carved into his face, but he took me into his arms and winnowed back to the townhouse.

—----------------------

It has been a few days since the family dinner. I woke up to an empty home; Nyx had gone to work early. I got ready as usual, but the guilt of everything still weighed over me. 

“A walk today, my lady? Maybe to Abrial,” Althaia’s voice took me out of my daydream. 

“Yes, please,” I said, she grabbed my light cloak handing it to me, and I was out the door. Velaris was warming up so nicely. The springtime was beautiful, and I could tell that the summer would be even better, and it was creeping around here so close. Seeing the streets of Velaris brought me some sort of peace.

I had meant to go to Abrial shop, but instead, I found myself standing outside of Feyre’s art studio, I enjoyed Feyre’s creativity, but this was the first time that I had decided to go and see her it was the least I can do after the other night.

I took a deep breath and opened the door entering the serene space. Feyre was sitting at a canvas with paint on her cheek. She held a gentle smile and turned towards me, her eyes filled with warmth.

“Well, hello, sweet girl, what brings you?” she asked. I hesitated for a moment to think what am I doing here. 

“I… I wanted to apologize; I’m sorry for how I left,” I said to her; her smile never faded. She walks up to me gracefully.

“There was never anything to apologize for” She took my hand a lead me further into her studio. The studio was bathed in natural light, and colorful canvases adorned the walls, each telling its own story. I looked around at all of the paintings, and I saw the pottery bathing in the sunlight.

“ Nyx had told me that you painted; I didn’t know you used clay either?” I said as I picked up a beautiful handmade vase.

“I didn’t,” she said. I turned over the vase to see the name carved at the bottom.

“He never told me,” I said, looking over Nyx’s pottery.

“He sometimes takes half a day of work or even after to clear his mind,”I said nothing to her.

“Have a seat; I’ll get you some clay to try,” She said. She gave me a change of clothes, and with a snap of her fingers, my old clothes went back to the townhouse. I sat down and began to work. I wasn’t much of an artist. The piano, poems, and books were more to my taste. But dancing, baking, and art that was always something that never came naturally. Feyre painted in silence while I worked into the clay.

“Love is a complicated journey, but sometimes the path we didn’t choose can lead us somewhere unexpected.” she finally said after some silence.

“Are you speaking from experience?” I had asked 

“Maybe some,” She said with amusement. 

“Is it too late?” I asked her if she understood what I meant. Was it to fix things with Lucien and Nyx as well? He was also owed an apology.

“Nyx has been with you to help you. All you have to do is reach out your hand,” she said 

“Can I ask a favor?” I asked her she gave me a nod.

—--------------------

I stood in the Kitchen, Determined to bake a cake for Nyx. I asked Feyre for the recipe that she got for Elaine. I don’t think for a second that this will make up for what he has done for me so far, but hopefully, it can at least pass for a sorry.

I gathered all the ingredients and mixed everything. The kitchen was filled with the array of ingredients and utensils and the scattering of my failing attempt. 

“Okay, eggs, flour, vanilla…. Where is the vanilla” I moved from cabinet to cabinet until I found it and added some drops to the mix. I wiped my cheek and tried to stir it together. 

“Well, you have been busy.”A voice from the doorway echoed, and I turned to see Nyx leaning against it with an expression that could be confused with admiration.

“Nyx!” I nearly shouted, “your home early. I…I was just-”

“It looks like you were trying to bake” he walked over and peeked into the bowl.

“Yes, trying and failing, so it seems” I leaned against the counter in defeat. He let out a chuckle. 

“Was there a celebration I wasn’t aware of? My birthday has passed, and yours isn’t for another few months.”

“I just wanted to bake a cake. It is the least I can do. I wanted to do something nice,” I said low, He finally walked across the room entirely and stood in front of me.

“The least you could do?”

“After a few days, yeah, the least you have been so kind, warm, inviting. I just want to be a good wife.” after I said that, his eyes held a certain tenderness.

“You are a good wife and an amazing one. You don’t have to bake a cake to tell me that, and for the family dinner.” He took me into his arms, and his face became serious.

“You have been through a lot, and you miss your family. How could I ever fault you for that?”

“So you’re not mad?”

“Not even a little I want to show you something.” He had winnowed us to the river house.

“Come follow me” he took my hand and led me to the part of the property that held what looked like a stable.

“Horses?” I asked, but he only smiled and opened the door, and that was when I saw her.

“Elfia!” I ran and arms around my pegasus neck. She flaps her wings with some excitement.

“But how-”

“I spoke to Helion, who permitted me to take your pegasus. Then Lucien and I spent a few days building it and making the correct accommodations that she would need.

“Lucien helped you?”

“I suppose it’s a family thing apologizing through acts of service.” he came close and gave Elfia a bit of hay. 

“Thank you,” I told him

“Just promise me that when Cassian asks you to race that you beat him, he’s already taking bets.” some pulled in my chest just then, something warm and comforting.

“Oh, before I forget, we have to go back home. I have some for you” This time, I took his hand and winnowed us back home, and next to the mess of ingredients was a box wrapped neatly. I handed it to him. He carefully opened the box and saw what I had made early. A smile so widespread, and he was fighting back a laugh

“It’s amazing, truly,” he had said though his face changed slightly.

“ I worked hard on that, you know,” I said as I tried to take it out of his hand, but he held it too high.

“I never said I didn’t want it; it’s great I can use it for so many things. It’s- what is it supposed to be?” he said as some of his laughter broke free.

“It’s supposed to be a mug. You can put coffee in it when you work from home,” I said, low crossing my arm.

“Awe, okay well, it’s now my favorite mug.”

“We all can’t be amazing an artist like you, Nyx,” I said. He pulled me close.

“Well then, tomorrow I will take off. We can be in the studio, and I can show you how to do things correctly,” he said as he kissed my forehead. I wrapped my arms around his neck and pulled in for a kiss. His lips moved against mine and synced, and his hands found their way all over my body.

My world just for a moment stood still.

[readychilledwine]

Hello. Hope u r feeling good. I was wondering if u could write something again. This one is particularly personal to me. Picture it. Reader is daughter of any one of the bat boys. If cass Or az then single dad. She has been bullied since the day she started school as a child because she has a problem when it comes to studying. As she grows it's her looks. The ic, notices her behavior is starnge. Like, snapping at small things, crying when they correct her or raise their voice. She has never told anyone because she doesn't want them to stress out and the bullies said that she was so worthless because she keeps running to her father for everything. Her dad finds out soon. U can decide the ending.

Oh my love 💜 all three of our boys got you.

Head Held High

Summary - After being born with Feyre's looks, but illyrian wings, Rhysand and Feyre's daughter faces challenges wherever she goes.

Warnings - bullying, signs of low self-worth, anger, inferred adhd or other learning issues, older brother coming in to do the older brother thing while protective dad does the dad thing

You had him wrapped around your finger the second you came into the world.

His beautiful baby girl, wide eyed and filled with curiosity and happiness.

You truly were a stunning little thing, but how couldn't you have been with parents like Rhysand and Feyre? He loved you even more for being the small version of your stunning mother. Her nose, her lips, her hair. The only piece of you that screamed you were his were those star flecked eyes.

Your childhood was filled with love and joy. With you constantly praised for your looks, for your smarts, or your imagination. Rhys and Feyre never thought anything of your wild mind. They loved it. They loved how sporadic you were, how one thing was never enough for you to stay focused on. They loved your random outlook on the world.

To Rhys, Feyre, and your significantly older brother Nyx, you were the world. They sheltered and loved you, thick and thin, protecting you from darkness and meaness at every turn.

It wasn't until you began lessons that you truly saw how unkind fae, especially those your own age could be.

You hated school and struggled to focus during lessons. You were busy, you told yourself in your little mind. Busy day dreaming of far away places, daring sword fights, a knight just like daddy or Uncle Az and Cass, mainly Uncle Az if you were honest with yourself, rescuing you from enemies.

Your grades reflected that. As did how your peers treated you.

"Silly y/n," one girl giggled when she thought you couldn't hear. "It's a good thing she's pretty, 'cause she's dumb."

"Her mommy couldn't read either. Maybe that's why."

In class the jabs were subtle enough that your teacher didn't notice, and when they did, nothing was done.

No one at home noticed either. No one noticed when you began to hide away more, when you stopped playing with your big brother after school. No one noticed when you weren't dreaming about being rescued anymore, but instead dreamed of running away.

Things did not get better when you were sent to Illyria, Uncle Cass and Aunt Nesta in tow, to begin training. You knew comments about your intelligence would be coming. You'd never expected comments about your looks, though.

"Imagine looking like your mom and trying to pass as an Illyrian."

"Her mom isn't even that pretty."

"Never said she was either."

You'd hide behind your wings constantly in public. You'd started eating alone. Stopped talking at home.

Cassian had tried asking what was wrong one night. His large hand running up and down your back as he spoke gently enough to you to shatter your aching heart a little more. "Just leave me alone!" You finally screamed at him. "I just want to be alone."

He wrote it off as homesickness, calling for Rhys and asking the High Lord to come visit you.

Rhys noticed it then.

He noticed the way you tucked behind your wings in shame. He noticed you eating alone. He noticed you never had a training partner.

He noticed your loveliness.

"Darling," a soft knock came at your door. "We need to talk." You curled further into your bed, your father refusing to enter or leave without your permission.

"Little love, please," his voice was pleading with you. "Let me in. Let me help you." You felt the gentle claws on your mind and blocked him out harder.

"Y/n, please. Don't shut me out." You'd never heard his voice break like this. The Crack that indicated he was about to cry. "I know what it's like to feel like you're the outsider here. I know what being this lonely feels like and how it eats away at you."

You heard something soft hit the door. "Babygirl, please. Let me come talk to you. Let me settle any feelings you're having. Let me help you. Please don't make me force myself in."

Shadows appeared in the corner, blue reflecting in them every so often. "I have her, Rhys. I'll come get you in a second." Your father yielded then. Yielded you to the arms of the Shadowsinger. "I've been watching for a little while." He admitted, "we've been worried for a few weeks."

He sat down on the bed next to you. "You stopped writing all of us. I know I violated your privacy and independence, but we all know how being out here can be. We all knew there was a risk of you being targeted the way we all were and the way Nyx was."

Azriel placed a hand on your back, rubbing small circles. "Your dad is the most worried. He did not want to send you here. He wants to bring you home."

You sniffled hard, finally lifting your body and shifting to sit next to him. "It's not any better there. I'm stupid in Velaris. I'm ugly here."

Azriel's jaw tightened. "Let me go get Rhys." Your uncle stood, walking to the doorway and leaving it open as he spoke softly down the hall.

Your dad was a mess when he entered. His hair was sticking different directions from how frequently he was running his hands through it. His face was tear stained. His shoulder slumped in defeat as he practically dragged his feet.

Azriel motioned for him to sit next to you, shutting the door so the three of you were alone and pulling a chair from across the room to sit in front of you. "Tell him what you just told me, little bat."

Your breath hitched as your hands began to shake. You could feel your eyes watering as you looked down to your unkept nails. "Taking me home won't make a difference."

Your dad pulled you close to him. "It would make all the difference, darling. We'd just send you back to regular-" Azriel shook his head at his brother, silencing him.

"Tell him the rest of what you said, y/n."

"I get made fun of in Velaris for being stupid, I get made fun of here for being ugly. It wouldn't make a difference."

Your father's world shattered then and there. Azriel stood, leaving the room to allow you to time alone now that the truth was out. Silence hung in the room. Interrupted every so often by your soft sniffles.

"How long," your father's voice broke again. "How long have you been getting picked on?"

You shrugged. "Since you started sending me to lessons."

He nodded, looking up. "I'm sorry I didn't notice, darling."

You didn't respond, only holding yourself tighter. He started. "I learned around your age, that holding my head high and not letting others see how much their cruelty hurt me tended to lead to it ending, but There is no merit in either of those statements"

He pulled you close to him, resting your head on his shoulder. "Are you easily distracted in school? Yes. Uncle Lucien always pushed us to teach you outdoors in a less formal environment with private help. You would have thrived in that setting. That is on me, y/n. I picked a public lesson setting so you could socialize." He paused. His jaw twitching. "You are not stupid in any sense, though, y/n." He motioned to the countless books stacked on your dresser. "Those are all educational texts or intense world building fantasies that you have taken the time to notate in a color system with separate journals filled with notes. That is not the action of someone who is stupid."

He tilted your face to him. "And you are not ugly. There is not a single court or location in this world where you do not meet or exceed their beauty standards. Anyone who says otherwise is either in denial of their attraction to you or blind. I never want to hear you say you are ugly ever again, darling."

A loud slam interrupted the heartfelt talk as your other brother entered the room followed by your cousins. "This is nice and all pops, really it is. Touching." Nyx walked to you, getting on his knees in front of you. "Their names, sis."

Rhys hid his smirk. "I never said your uncles and I weren't also going to do this, Nyx."

The heir rolled his eyes. "You can have their piece of shit fathers. I get the ones my age." Nyx grabbed your chin forcing you to look into his eyes. "Their names, y/n."

You gave them to him without hesitation. "Be nice," you said softly.

Nyx froze in the doorway. "You have mom's heart, y/n. I have dad's. You handle it with kindness and grace, I'm going to handle it with my fists and intimidation."

Your father pulled you close to him again. "Never change anything about you, little love." He stood moving in front of you and tilting your head up by your chin. "Just hold your head high, y/n. Hold your head high, walk away, and let dad and Nyx take care of the rest." He placed a kiss on your forehead. "Now, if you excuse me, I have a camp leader to beat the shit out of."

He paused at the doorway, turning to you. "I'll be right back. I promise. Maybe you could make us some hot chocolate and we can have a cuddle date like we used to?"

Your eyes lit up for the first time in years, making him smile and laugh. "There you are, darling. My beautiful girl."

[jiminiesfavouritecolourisblue]

Just me fangirling every day since you decided to answer my message thinking on the fact that my wirter crush answered me! 😭 Blue! How many times I tought about the fact that I would love to have a book written by you on my hands to keep and cherish forever while I was on my way to read all you have shared! 💜 An now that I've read the lattest chapter of OLL 🥴 I'm done! I will religiously follow you to see and enjoy what you have to tell us trough your stories!

You ask me to tell you which is my fav story so far, but it's nearly impossible! Instead may I say WHY I love each one? Let me tell you that the first story I read was The CEO BTS one, and to say that I was speachless is little compared to what I really felt! I forgot about time and got lost and carried away by your style of writing! I was (still am) so enamoured of the fact that you write Bangtan so well! I can perfectly picture everyone doing what you say on every scene. For example, I remember the scene when MC was locked away on the archive room and everyone was trying to coax her open the door asking what happened but Hobi was the one who went to actually investigate what happened going to see on the security cameras, I nearly yelled: OF COURSE IT WAS MY MAN! That's so hecking OC of him! 😫 Think there was the point when you bewitched me 😂 I'm OT7 but Hobi is my forever bias ❤️ Rhen when I started reading OLL and got to the point when we saw Hobi's sadistic side 👁️👄👁️... Well, I've never before harboured thoughts of him doing that kind of stuff but it was so perfect that it just makes total sense with his personality 😂

And then I got to read Bleeding butterflies 😭 and I have zero regrets of not sleeping those days because I was so hooked on the world you created! The way you describe every member with them powers that fits so well! The way you included that awesome scenes with Taetae speaking to Erebos, Nyx and the other gods! The scene with the fairies emerging from the woods 😍 Blue you have my eternal gratitude for letting me experience that universe along my seven boyfriends 😭

I hope this long long letter doesn't botter you 🥹 but I have a ton of compliments to write, because as I previosly told you, I've been on a rollercoastee of emotions reading your works ❤️ The last story I read was Harbouring an hybrid 😭 and I'm so worried for Jiminshi that it brakes my heart to pieces! Altought I still harbour some hope 😭

Big thank you for answering my message and hope you know how amazing and how talented you are! 🫣 Sorry! Much text... By now you must know how passionately I express myself 😂 I left much toughts unsaid! Like how I adored The royal bodiguards AU 💜 and every What if story 😍 specially the Hybrids! Because You take care of details and explain every hecking fact too well it blows my mind!

Okok love u and goodnight!

😭😭😭 do you know how many times I’ve reread this 🥺🥺🥺 I actually want to bawl my eyes out this was everything 💜💜💜 you can have whatever the hell you want from me lovely, whatever update chapter new fic idea spoilers etc etc whatever you want it’s yours I don’t even care anymore that was everything 🥹🥹🥹

My universes are so close to my heart so when someone appreciates them like this I just get so soft 😭

I am keeping you forever and ever and ever don’t even THINK about leaving me I will riot and go on hiatus until you come back 🥺 …..no pressure 🤣🤣

I’ve actually reread harbouring a hybrid because I need to update it it’s been too long and I forgot how sad I made it 👀 even I was like what the hell

Please take my heart and all my love 💜

[nyxypoo]

HIII NYX !!! 🤍🤍 dropping by to ask you about you and the first f/o that pops into ur head !! what do you two have each other’s contact name saved as ?!? do you guys have matching wallpapers or … are your wallpapers pictures of each other ?! ALSO !!! WHO FELL FIRST !! and what was the story behind that > <

HI HI ZEVIE first one that pops into my head? kiryuuuuu

i'd have him saved as "pinky pie 🫶" and his contact for me... idk could be anything from my name with some hearts to like "loml" and then him having a field day when sakura asks what it means

i'd definitely have either a candid or a 0.5 pic of kiryu as my lock screen. but for him (and this is 120% based on a drabble or hc thing that i saw BUT I COULDNT FIND IT AGAIN 😭 BUT IT WAS SO SO CUTE AHH) a candid too and (i think) little hearts on it (IT WAS SO CUTE IM CRYING THAT I CANT FIND IT) so in a way matching cuz we have the most random pics of each other that the other doesn't know about

i fell first 🧍‍♀️ BUT CAN U BLAME ME?? no cuz he's a cutie!! and the story behind it erm... i think it'd be way too long (and really bad) if i tried to come up with that and write it out rn, i can't think... but maybe one day ill write it!

[thaliasthunder]

opinions on tsats, not in order

these are some things i liked and disliked about the book, and it has spoilers (naturally?), so beware

not gonna say i absolutely adored the way R&M managed solangelo's relationship but didnt completely despise it either

i wouldnt say Will was out of character bc... he didnt have much of a character to be out from before tsats? i just didnt really love that "i gotta fix nico" thing rick gave to him, but that got settled by the end so i really wont complain much about it

i also wouldnt compare solangelo to percabeth neither to praise or criticize it bc it's not like i think percabeth's dynamic is flawless and perfect either 🤷🏻‍♀️

percy's "oh nico, i'm sorry" PERSEUS SHUT THE FUCK UP YOU'RE 5 YEARS LATE 😭

the "invisible string" and "[worlds/planets] orbiting each other" theme/trope they gave to solangelo made me emotional, and i accept it as canon. *plays invisible string by ts and satellite by hs*

my goodness what a relieve it was to me to finally read nico CRYING. good for him

i expected will's plague power to be more, hum, intense? either way i still think will having plague powers at all is a victory

dont know what i feel w will canonically having trouble w nico being a murderer bc thats actually one of the things i love about him 😭? i feel like if he ever discovers nico killed that bryce dude he'll pass out or something. boy ur bf is a son of hades, his legacy is death, what did u expect from him?

"nico blushed" "nico gave a sly smile" "nico's mischevious smile" wow i need to sit down for a moment and just *weeps*

nico trying to talk his way out of trouble, sneaky lil shit <3

canon silly nico in mid dangerous situations is back !!! <3333

i dont feel completely comfortable w the idea of nico's coming out being that public by making a whole speech to the entire camp but thats probably just me projecting my trauma and anxiety, idk. either way i think a more intimate coming out would've feel more personal, but still i understand that R&M wanted to give him an all-free-off-chains life in camp making it known by everyone in an only kick

"i got the message loud and clear: don't say that. don't feel that. don't even think that" IT BURNED ME INSIDE. i loved it

the ounces of nico still acting like a 10 year old child? like when he called nemesis cool? he warms my heart

i think gorgyra's my favorite character

some of the bitchy comments nico held back were funny. i know they didnt symbolize anything good in their relationship but they were funny. "no. you couldnt", "no one's asking you to"? i officially proclaim myself a bitchy!nico apologist

either way i still can acknowledge nico was a lil bit harsh to will having the literal worst time of his life in the underworld like 😭, bro he's literally a child of the SUN having a trip in HELL, give him a break 😭

the part where nico drop to his knees in front of nyx's home? poetic cinema

the screaming at trees in the woods moment felt really intimate and heartwarming for me. i approve

i did not like their on screen first kiss to be so casual and simple, i was expecting more emotion and angst; and god i definitely disliked that their first real kiss was literally right after nico discovered jason DIED. a person has enough volatile feelings to deal with when a loved one dies for new romantic stuff to happen. nico was in a vulnerable state and deserved time to mourn. instead of that being their first kiss i would've been fine to show will supporting nico in that traumatic event? i would've also deepen their relationship

"'i love you' and the fell" that was poetic and girl? it'll ROCK in fanarts i'll be waiting for them

the whole speech of "it was the son of apollo falling for a son of hades. it was this"? okay wow, beware shakespeare, they went strong in this

nico preparing a picnic for will?? another peek of my boy being a canon ROMANTIC. he makes me physically ill

i liked that they didnt try to write around or romantize the way some male gods actually behaved in the myths? like persephone recognizing hades kidnapped her and letting Will (and the reader) clear that he should never permit anyone forcing him into anything, bc i remember i disliked the way poseidon was painted as the best guy in pjo w medusa's part just for being the protagonist's father (and yeah that was a children's book but well so is tsats and they finally got that right)

since hoo i've got a soft spot for nico finding comfort in the darkness of the underworld, so reading nico seeing his father's realm as his home again gave me a cozy feeling every single time <3

it was nice to see persephone seeing nico in a good light. i always thought the concept of those two getting along well had so much potential and tbh i hope they explore it more in the future

nico having persephone's garden as his favorite place in the underworld??? i crave FANARTS

it kinda infuriated me nico reproaching will for making amphitemis go away bc it was the first baddass moment will got in the entire book in my eyes and nico deciding to go like WhY diD u dO thAt? cOulD'vE hElpEd hIm. baby? shut the fuck up

I WON

"enough of your bisexual chaos" really cant decide if i loved or hated this right now

tbh i hoped amphitemis to have a more important role

i actually like the idea of nico having a bunch of little demons following him around, it's a funny image. but personally i wont see them as "his children" unless its for comedic resources. i see them more as his pets, yep, his demonic pets 👍🏼

they're canonically the most physical affective couple and they make me wanna throw up in my mouth. good for them

WHERE WAS AKHLYSSSS

nico's new villain scar is baddass <3

at the end bob just came out of the picture... that easily? after all the hell they went thru?

do u ever get those maternal/paternal kick ins when u read ur fav character in pain? i dont mean all the time but in like rare occassions. like a sudden need to protect them? well yeah nico saying "you left me alone and defenceless!" and starting crying made it for me. i wanted to run and CRADLE HIM

MALCOLM PACE MY QUEER SON OF ATHENA I LOVE YOU. btw yall were excited about jake mason and i admit i dont remember who that is,,, i feel guilty so please explain

PIPER MY LOVE GIRL HOW I MISSED YOU

to summarize, i dont think the book's perfect, but i did enjoy and liked it

[stunie]

ZEVIE ZEVIE!!! okkk so took me way too long to think of question after i got urs (which was very fun btw!) BUT NOW I HAVE ONE HEHE

sooo! what would u do to celebrate umemiyas birthday with him? and how would he celebrate urs? would u surprise each other? or make plans that the other already knows of? EEEE I NEED TO KNOW ^ ^

NYX NYX !!!! HIIII !!! have you been well ?? also i had so much fun reading your response hehe ^ ^ i love u and kiryu lots. THANK YOU FOR YHE UMIE QUESTION !!!

umemiya’s birthday !!! hehe. i have to get some gardening stuff for him :> something that would help makes things easier on him— or something that’s hard to find. i want to surprise him with other people!! get everybody together and have some fun event where we all eat (: sing him happy bday and we all give him his presents and watch him smile when he opens them > < and i have to take pics of him holding each gift !!! make him wear a lil bday badge and take him around the town skskndnc i’d like everyone to know about his bday!! and maybe talk to certain shops ahead of time to surprise him (:

as for mine, man ): i’ve had really rough experiences with birthdays so i get really nervous around that time. i would love anything he does for me. in my heart, i like to imagine that he knows me really well— gets me a yummy ice cream cake and cooks my fav breakfast for me !! n then a little group hangout !!! maybe we all go to an amusement park or something like that (: and then dinner as a group !!! n then me and ume go home and wouldn’t it be awesome if he had a little surprise for me ?? maybe he gifted me the armored mewtwo card I’ve been wanting for a while > < i’d cry. AH. movies would be so fun too!!

[growup-thatbeautiful]

For Bullet Proof maybe you could write something where Tan and the reader do like a small little ceremony of just like them, Jovie, and Lemon where they get remarried

SHIT OH MY GOD I LOVE YOU SO MUCH i’m literally rewatching bullet train rn this is fucking insane. pls anon i pledge my full love to you 💕💕

Word Count: 3.8k

Taglist: @venusthepirate @shadows-of-nyx @syd-vixious @thefloatingpickle @sallyp-53 @fictionalcomforts @s-haa @the-bisaster @phoenixhits @wee-little-mouse @cupofstarss @eefos @slut-f0r-u @lotustv

Bullet Train Masterlist

This takes place as part of the Bullet Proof Series!

oh, i'm falling in love again

It’s bedtime for Joive, a nightly routine that, over time, you’ve perfected down to the minute. You wash the dishes from dinner, mostly because Tangerine’s usually the one who cooks, while he gets Jovie into her pajamas and brushes her teeth. By the time you’re done, most of the time Tangerine and Jovie are in her bedroom, reading a book together, waiting for you. First, you say goodnight to Jovie and then it’s Tangerine’s turn. Tonight, he’s wearing a worn black t-shirt that, more nights than not, you end up stealing from him. The grey sweatpants that adorn his long legs have also seen better days, but the fact that Tangerine’s comfortable enough to be comfortable with you is heartwarming on its own. 

It’s been like this ever since you got your life with Tangerine back almost a year ago.

And what a year it's been. Of course, there are hard times. Tangerine still has to go on missions, you still worry yourself to tears when he doesn’t come home on time, and Jovie misses him like no other when he’s gone. On days when you’re both working it’s absolutely miserable, leaving Jovie with whoever you trust enough at the time to take care of her. Unfortunately, most of the time when Tangerine is working, Lemon is too, so your options are limited. 

But you wouldn’t change it for anything, especially not when you get to watch Tangerine say goodnight to your Jovie in his own special way. 

“Daddy?” Jovie’s sleepy voice filters through the air, matching the white curtains that float through the air with the wind billowing through the open window. Her hair pillows around her head as she lays in her bed, covers pulled up around her chest. The lavender walls around her cast a sweet glow over the room, a haze you could get lost in and have gotten lost in many times. It’s its own little world, the three of you undisturbed by whatever mission file is sitting on the kitchen table. 

Tangerine is laying on his side next to Jovie on the bed, and you’re standing in the doorway, leaning against the wooden frame. “Yeah, love?” Tangerine responds, turning his full attention to the little girl. 

In her arms, Jovie holds her stuffed bear tighter to her chest and curls up closer to Tangerine. “What’s it like to be in love?” 

“What’s it like to be in love?” Tangerine repeats slowly. He glances over at you for a second, and you offer a shrug. Jovie comes home with the strangest things from school, so you’ve learned just to go with it. With a nod, Jovie continues looking at Tangerine with her wide eyes.“It’s like a warm hug.” Tangerine’s voice is fond as he wraps Jovie in his arms, her giggling filling the space between them. 

When he lets go, Jovie asks another question, curiosity in her voice. “Do you love Uncle Lemon?” 

“Uncle Lemon’s a twat,” Tangerine says matter-of-factly, twirling a lock of Jovie’s hair and brushing it hair out of her face. “But yes, I love Uncle Lemon. He’s my brother.” 

Jovie looks at you leaning against the doorway. “Do you love Mommy?” Instinctively, you glance at Tangerine, who’s looking right back at you, his grey-blue eyes piercing into yours, in the gentle way he can somehow manage. 

“I love your mom more than I ever thought I could love anyone else,” Tangerine admits softly, his eyes not leaving yours. 

“How did you know you loved her? Did your heart give you a hug?” 

“Yeah, Jovie-love, my heart told me. It ain’t easy to listen to your heart, but when you know you love someone, you want to be with them forever.” 

“So you marry them,” Jovie stares, an excited look in her eyes. “Like you married Mommy.”

“That’s right, Jovie-love.” There’s the softest smile on Tangerine’s face, and you’re certain that there’s a matching one on yours. Jovie’s been through a lot, but the fact that she’s able to now live with so much love in her life tells you that it’s all been worth it.

Jovie yawns widely and leans further into her pillows. “I think it’s time to go to sleep now,” Tangerine laughs. Carefully, he places a gentle kiss on her forehead and untangles his limbs before walking over to you and kissing you chastely on your lips. “I swear to God, next time Jovie starts asking those questions, I’m fucking walking out. Who the fuck is telling our girl about being in love.”

“Yeah,” you sigh, running your hands across his chest. “It’s such a shame that our daughter knows how much her parents love each other. Unacceptable.”

“That’s not what I meant and you know it,” he responds, his arms wrapping around your waist as he pulls you through the hallway and to your bedroom. “It ain’t right. She’s too young to fuck about with that stuff.” 

You hum non-committedly and Tangerine kisses you, your back against the wall. “I know.” 

Tangerine’s head finds a home in the crook of your neck and your hands automatically run through his hair in soothing motions. “You can’t help but protect her, Tan. It’s your nature to protect the people you love.”

“She’s getting older so much faster than I thought it would happen. I mean, for fuck’s sake, it feels like it was just yesterday that she was learning to walk.” Tangerine’s words are spoken into the cotton of your t-shirt, reverent and reminiscing. You can’t help the memories that flood your mind of the growth Jovie’s gone through over the years.

“Remember when she used to wrap her hand around your finger? She was so fucking tiny,” you recall fondly, leaning your head back against the wall. Tangerine lends heavily against you, the wall supporting you both. “She seemed so fragile then, like she would break at any movement.” You remember the feeling well when Jovie was like a little porcelain doll who would shatter if you put her down too roughly. 

“Not anymore,” Tangerine proudly admits. “Not our girl. Tough as nails, that one. She’s going to give the world hell. I think she gets that from you.”

“Let’s say it’s from both of us,” you suggest. “She’s going to turn out alright, I think. She’s got a pretty good dad.” 

“Don’t sell yourself short, love.” Tangerine raises his head and looks at you, brown hair falling into his face. “You might have a little bit to do with Jovie’s success.”

“Wow,” you reply, sarcasm dripping from your voice, “Thanks, Tan. It’s good to feel appreciated.”

As you push off of the wall, Tangerine laughs and winks at you, grabbing your hand and following you into the bedroom. “I told you at our wedding that I would never let a compliment moment go by, didn’t I?” 

“Do you ever think about it?” you ask, sitting on the edge of the bed and watching as Tangerine places his rings in the tray on his side table. “Our wedding?”

“Of course I do, love,” he answers easily, sitting down next to you, his hand resting on your thigh. “It was a fucking disaster.” 

“It wasn’t that bad,” you argue, flopping back against the mattress and bringing him with you. He lays next to you and grabs your hand, his fingers linking with yours, resting them on his stomach where his shirt rides up. 

You can feel his gaze on the side of your face, his raised eyebrows and judging eyes. “Darling, the room was literally on fire. I think that counts as a disaster.” 

“Yeah, but we have a fucking good story to tell.” Your eyes meet his and you can’t help but smile that one smile that you have reserved just for him and Jovie. The one that breaks down all your walls. 

“That it is,” Tangerine agrees. Then, sitting up on his elbows, he leans over you and asks, “Do you know what Jovie asked me the other day?” “What’s that?” you question, grinning as Tangerine traps you under him, his hands next to your head. 

“She asked me if we were still married.” Despite the light tone he uses, you can see the worry on Tangerine's face; the crease of his eyebrows, and the concern in his eyes.

After a moment's pause, you respond uncertainly, “We…are, right? I mean, just because we weren’t together for a little while-”

“-more than a little while,” Tangerine interrupts quickly, his eyebrows raised at you. “It was almost two fucking years without you.”

“Right,” you agree. “We weren’t together for two years, but I’m still your wife and you’re still my husband, yeah?” Your hand comes up to cup Tangerine’s face in your palm, tracing over his features. You know them by heart, even though they’ve changed over the years. He has a hairline scar above one of his eyebrows, and the lines around his eyes are more defined, but he’s still the same man you fell in love with. You could still find him out of anyone else.

“That’s what I think. It ain’t like we got an official divorce.” Tangerine searches your face for approval, which you readily give with a nod. He takes a deep breath before he continues. “I have an idea.”

“Yeah?” You try to soothe him by bringing him closer to you when you read the nerves that flow through his body, the tension that thrums underneath his skin and your hands. “What it is?” 

“I want to marry you again.” There’s surety and strength in his voice that wasn’t there before, strength that he draws from you. 

You’re not positive that you heard him right. “You what?” Softer, this time, he says, “I want to marry you again. I want you to walk down a rose-petal aisle while music plays in the background and Jovie stands next to me. I want to see Lemon cry like he always does at weddings, and I want to see you in a white dress looking like a fucking angel. I want to retell the world that you’re mine, and I want you to want the same thing.”

“Tan,” you say because you’re at a loss for any other words. “You really want that?”

“Of course I do, love. Do you?”

“Yes,” you laugh, “Yes, I do.” Unable to contain your joy, you bring Tangerine’s face down to meet yours in a crushing, crashing kiss.Tangerine follows your lead easily, his hair brushing against your forehead as he kisses you, his legs finding their way in between your own. 

“Love,” he mutters, “I can’t fucking wait for you to be my wife again.”

~*~

As it turns out, planning a wedding is harder than you remember it being. Somehow, in the fog of memories from your first wedding, you forgot how much trouble it was to arrange all the details. After multiple breakdowns, mostly on your end, you two decide that a small ceremony without much pomp is the best decision for you. Jovie and Lemon are really the only ones that you need there, and, you figure, fancy things were for your first wedding. Jovie was the only one who had requested, once she heard about the plan, and they were simple things. She wanted a matching dress with you and to be the flower girl, which are easy enough to figure out. 

Your dress choice, influenced by Jovie, is flowing and white, with sleeves that lay off your shoulders and gold-accented jewelry, to match Tangerine’s rings and necklace. Tangerine decides to wear his trademark suit, a dark blue jacket and vest with a striped lighter blue dress shirt underneath. His hair, like usual, is slicked back, the ends curling around his ears endearingly. 

The flower petals are even easier to find, and Jovie chooses wine-colored rose petals to match the lipstick that you wear and the color of Lemon’s dress shirt. 

Your choice of location is the most simple of all: your backyard, underneath the stars, just like when Tangerine proposed. The porch light isn’t exactly the most romantic of lighting or locations, but the way you’re able to feel safe from harm's way is irreplaceable. And, it didn’t take long to set up either, which is a win with your busy schedules. 

You’re fixing the collar of Jovie’s dress while Lemon and Tangerine get ready next to you, and Jovie fidgets with the basket of petals in her hands. “Mommy?”

“Yes, baby?” you respond, moving to her hair. Lemon helped you do it in some style that you have no clue how to do, a braided bun that makes her look a lot older than five years. 

“I need to go get my bear. He wouldn’t want to miss this.”

“Okay, love. I think I saw him in the living room on the couch,” you reply, patting Jovie’s cheek before she runs to get her bear. 

“Let’s fucking do this, yeah?” Lemon says when she’s gone. “Second time’s the charm, that’s what I always say.” There’s affection in his voice, along with the exasperation that’s only possible between brothers. 

“Fuck off, you prick,” Tangerine responds, fixing the lapels of his jacket. “And don’t bring up some Thomas the Tank shit, yeah?”

“If Thomas can’t tell you about love, no one can,” Lemon argues. “There’s no one better to talk about than Thomas when vows are exchanged. Plus, it would make Jovie happy.”

“He’s got you there, love,” you laugh. “If there’s anyone who would appreciate Thomas at our wedding besides Lemon, it’s Jovie.” Tangerine’s eyes narrow as he looks between the two of you. “I’m not a fan of you two ganging up on me.” 

“Funny, I was going to say the opposite,” Lemon cheerily adds.

“Lighten up, bruv. It’s only once you get married to a girl like her.” The laughter in Lemon’s eyes doesn’t humor Tangerine, but you can tell he’s not really upset by the way he rolls his eyes and raises his eyebrows. 

“I can still uninvite you,” Tangerine threatens, leaning against the brick wall. 

“No you can’t,” you say. “Not on my watch.” Tangerine looks at you, unimpressed, but you can see past the false mask of disinterest. 

“At least let me tell you how fucking beautiful you look,” he asks, a suggestive smile on his face. “Because, after all this time, you still manage to look like an angel.”

“And that’s my cue to fuck off,” Lemon snips. “You two are fucking gross.” Just like he always does, Lemon is able to make you grin.

“So I can’t even compliment my wife? What would Thomas say, Lemon?” Tangerine asks, tilting his head to the side. “There’s no episode on separated assassin couples who left in the middle of the night where they get remarried and their smartass brother gets whacked on the head.” 

“No,” Lemon says shortly. “There’s no episode like that, which you would know if you ever watched with me.” 

“Yeah, Daddy,” Jovie says with her hands on her hips. “You never watch Thomas with us.” 

“That’s because it’s a kids show, love,” Tangerine responds apologetically, sweeping her up into his arms. “And since when did you start taking Uncle Lemon’s side against me? He’s turned both of my girls against me.” Jovie’s shrieks of laughter fill the air as Tangerine flips her upside down and tickles her, while you and Lemon watch fondly from the sidelines. 

“I think it’s time to get this over with, then,” Lemon chimes in, “So my favorite niece and I can watch ourselves some Thomas, right Jo?” He’s met with enthusiastic cheers from Jovie, and Tangerine puts her back onto her feet. 

You hand Jovie her basket of flower petals and she takes it gladly in one of her hands, the other faithfully occupied with her teddy bear. 

Jovie tosses flower petals in the air, and they float down around her, white silk landing in her curls that shake with her giggles. Something soft is playing in the background, with a gentle, dreamlike piano melody that you can’t help but close your eyes to for a moment. 

And, for that moment, you take a deep breath, letting memories wash over you. Everything, every choice, every heartbreak, has led you here, with Jovie and Lemon and Tangerine all surrounding you, the only family you really need.

You see flashes of life before you got married when Tangerine brought you dog-eared copies of his favorite books and you faithfully didn’t ask questions when he came home covered in blood. He didn’t ask you either, and it worked out, somehow. 

You see the night he proposed to you, the twinkling stars that slipped behind clouds while he got down on one knee and asked you to be his. How young you had been, how happy, how carefree. 

You see your wedding, the white dress you wore that matched Tangerine’s, and the white flower in the lapel of his jacket. Lemon had been the only other person there, which isn’t so different this time, but you have Jovie with you this time. That had been at the beginning of Tangerine’s newfound wealth at his job, and you had been quick to spend as much as you could justify on a dress. You have absolutely no clue where that dress is today, but you wouldn’t have worn it again today anyway. It carries too many bad memories, too much potential for a bad future.

You see when you first told Tangerine that you were pregnant, the panic took over your life before the pair of you, and Lemon, settled into acceptance and cautious expectance. Yes, you had been sick for almost three months straight and then you had been too big to do anything else, but you had also been happy and so excited to meet your baby girl. The day Jovie was born, Tangerine had been on a job, which he and Lemon immediately left to come be with you. 

All these things, that make up the puzzle of your past, float through your mind before you settle back in the moment. 

Jovie’s petals hit the ground and she looks towards you, her smile wide and her eyes brimming with excitement. When you reach your hand out, Jovie comes to you. 

There’s no priest or any other religious figure; both of you agreed it was an unnecessary addition. You’re already married, this is just to recement that fact, for yourselves and for Jovie.

More than anything else, it’s a fresh start. A new chapter. You’re moving forward, not forgetting to look back at what got you here in the first place. 

So, without much ado, you walk towards your husband as he stands up straighter and instinctively reaches out for you. 

“Love, at this point there’s not much I think I could say that you don’t already know, but I think it’s probably worth trying. I know there’s not a lot I can say to make this any more special than it was the first time, other than the fact that I started looking at you one time on a crowded London train and I haven’t stopped looking at you since then. You are truly my sun, my moon, my stars, and every comfort that I never had before you. Not only have you given me your love, but you’ve also given me a daughter who I would die for, I would kill for, I would live for. There’s- there’s nothing I can say to thank you enough for that and everything else you do for me other than I love you so much, so fucking much, excuse my language, Jovie.” Somehow, Jovie can sense the importance of the moment, because she nods and looks at you for your words. You take his hand in yours and hold them in front of you.

“Tan, you and Lemon, for a long time, were the only people I trusted enough to feel anything around,” you start, emotion clogging your voice. “ Then, I realized how much you actually meant to me, as more than a friend, and I had so many chances to screw everything up, a few of which I took. I’ve fumbled my way through raising Jovie, and I’ve fumbled my way through us. But you’ve also given me every chance to come back into your arms, my home more than anything else, and I love that about you. I love that you swear too much and steal things, and you pick Jovie up from school when I’m not up to it and put her to bed every night. You are the father of my child and the only person I would ever want to raise my family with.” Tangerine cups your cheek in his hand and wipes away your tears with his thumb, looking at you like you’re something precious, like you don’t have a bloodstained past. 

“Jovie-love, could you come here?” The two of you decided, instead of exchanging rings for each other, it would be more worth your time to get something for Joive. After all, you already have a wedding ring from him, and it still fits you just fine. It's from a simpler time, an easier time, a time without Jovie, but a time when you were just as in love with him as you are now. Tangerine has his too, and you don't know if he ever stopped wearing it. You usually had yours with you, even when you weren't with him, whether it was around a chain on your neck or in your back pocket.

Tangerine asks softly. “We have something for you.” He reaches into his pocket and pulls out a golden necklace, the same shape as his with the same type of jewel from your wedding band. How he managed it, you don’t know, but it doesn’t matter, not when Jovie’s face lights up at the sight of it. 

“This is a very special present, baby,” you explain to her, crouching beside Tan to be at her level. “You’re going to have to take good care of it, but Daddy and I think you’re old enough.” 

“Would you look at that, Jo,” Lemon says lightly. “That’s one good-looking necklace, isn’t it? Do you think you could get one for me?”

Jovie smiles and shakes her head before putting the necklace on with Tangerine’s help. It’s too big, but she’ll grow into it. If she’s anything like her father, she’ll never take it off. 

And you kind of hope she’s everything like her father.