#hi ik this was sent months ago but i thought id do the handful i have already asdkjhdjshd

[amethyst-halo]

Ooo perhaps Dawnlight?

i like this guy he doesn't look like he's ever thought anything in his life

[lettersfromkokichiouma]

ehehehe hEYyyyyy Kokichiii~~~ I, 🍬 anon have returned!!

ik i sent in an ask not too long ago but likE-

i lowkey needa vent rn and srry if this ends up long as hell lmao (feel free to answer this whenevr you want mod no pressure <3 )

just for some context, a few months or so ago (i have no clue lol) i realized that im a trans demiguy instead of being genderfluid because i realized i was forcing myself to accept she/her pronouns cause i didnt wanna be an inconvience to people but i still liked really feminine stuff which is why i thought i was genderfluid at first, but i just needed some time to really think about it yk? also in case you wanna know my pronouns are he/him or they/them <3

aNyWaY sooo a few days ago i bought a chest binder on amazon and not even a day after it arrived, my parents sat me down and asked me why i bought it behind their backs. cause i never told them i bought it in the first place. they ended up practically forcing me to come out to them because there was no other way i couldve gotten out of the situation, and the reactions i got wheerrreeee mixed to say the least. it could've been much worse, but it felt like it couldve gone so muhc better. my mom started crying and said that she'll accept me no matter "whether you have short hair, long hair, or whatever you wear" which like.... lowkey feels transphobic to me??? like being trans (in my opinion) is hardly ever about what you wear or what you look like, wear whatever the hell you want whether its feminine or masc or whatever. all that matters is what your comfortable with yourself yk? it just kinda feels like she has this incredibly shallow understanding of what being trans is and doesnt even want to try to learn more about it. she was also more concerned about the fact that i didnt tell them before hand which in my opinion isnt something i have to do. just because i didnt come to them about it doesnt mean i dont trust them. she said that she doesnt think she'll be able to use my preferred name and pronouns too soo thAnKs mOm. my dad on the other hand was much more understanding, but still said stuff like "your young" and "your feeling lots of different emotions right now" and my mom said similar things as well. bUUuUut it kinda gets a bit worse... the day after all of this happened, for the entire day, my mom completely ignored me, not even bothering to look me in the eye or even speak to me. while she and my younger brother had a full conversation about his day when i got back from school, she never said a word to me. she didnt even talk to me for the rest of the day until recently where she said "good night". IS THAT IT- its honestly like she doesn't care that she practically ghosted me the entire day. id probably understand if she had a rough day and didnt feel like talking, but she was just fine talking to my brother, so now im wondering if she's transphobic. and ignoring someone let alone her own kid the whole day is something thats really really not like her usual self, so yeah. tbh, i had a gut feeling that she had at the very least internalized transphobia, so now i really wish that i had gotten to test the waters first but instead i was flung straight into the deep end of the pool. metaphorically. although, im not completely sure how this will all play out... in the meantime though, thank you so much for listening kokichi~~ <333 can i have some comfort cuddles please? 👉👈

*covers your face in kisses and cuddles you softly*

“wellll first of all, im super glad you figured that out about yourself!

congratulations! im really proud of you!

...but im sorry your parents didn’t have a good reaction.

if my child came out as trans, i’d throw them a party and buy them anything they want! buuut some parents aren’t like that....

sometimes they do accept you but they’re just reallllyyy bad at understanding what’s going on.

orrrrrr they’re transphobic which is totally awful! i don’t tolerate those types of people!

and you shouldn’t either! you shouldn’t have to deal with dumb people like that or dumb things like transphobia!

you are who you are! and i think you’re amazing!

the easiest thing to give people is respect y’know? and it’s soooo dumb that they can’t give you that right away!

...you’re valid, whether or not they choose to respect you though!

that’s the most important thing to remember! no one can hurt you if you know how incredibly amazing you are y’know?

and im not lying about that. i think you know me enough by now to know i don’t lie about stuff like that!!

and yup! of course i’ll give you comfort cuddles!

*opens arms*

you deserve them after all.”

-Kokichi Ouma

[thesanguinecrow]

I haven't really seen any of your personal posts but I am curious and would like to know, if it isn't any trouble

it isnt trouble im just glad someones interested bc i usually feel rly annoying this will get to the song point i promise but here goes tldr at the bottom. so it all started when my friend who i had only met a few months ago went out of his way to talk to me bc like we were relatively far appart. we were going to first period and he yells to me “get to class rose!” and i jokingly flip him off then he yells back “mines bigger” and we go on our ways. i hadent given it much thought at the time but now i see it as just the start of him trying to get closer to me. after that there wasnt much more conversation. then one day after school has ended he snapchats me out of no where and im like ?? ok and we start talking and hes sharing his antics and im just in amazement bc my life is pretty boring n he’s out here stayin in vegas alone (oh btw im gonna be a high school senior and hes gonna be a sophmore im a lil uncomf. with our grade gap but im not actually sure of his age but ik its not more than 2 years n age smooths out with time and im not interested in doing anything sexual atm even kissing would be rly pushing it) anyway be tells me a personal detail about himself ide rather not disclose but shows hes comfortable opening up to me. we sent eachother back and forth snaps of us making funny smooshed faces and stuff like that like i trust you not to screenshot and post this everywhere kinda face. soon after that wich was around the fourth of july he went off to camp and didn’t have his phone. i didn’t know he didn’t have/couldn’t use it and this whole time I’m freaking tf out and im here thinking OH MAH LORD WHAT IF HE DIED and internally sobbed. then after being sent home bc he broke his hand he gets back on sc and im like I THOUGHT YOU DIED ARE YOU OKAY!!!????!!?!?! and ever since then it’s been wishy washy bc he wouldn’t go on snapchat for hours and ik bc he has his location turned on on the map and it wasnt there. hes told me he doesnt have his phone which i regret not asking why but i assume his mom takes it or somrthing like oh its bad to be on it 24/7 somethin like that. hes also sent me pics of his torso but these increased post camp. he even sent one and captioned it “i felt hot in this one” and another 2 focusing on his mucles (hes not the most muscular but its noticeable hes got some) i think on sunday he was on and i sent a snap of me with my hair tied up in the front like a unicorn horn and my hair is like 6 and a half inches (17 cm) so its sticking up adding to the horn effect. then he sends me a snap back saying “well im single” and im like “me too” and hes just like *sigh* if only there was something i could do about it kinda sigh and im like “hey wanna hang at the beach wednesday anf hes like yeah but we never set a time before he didnt have his phone and all day wednesday me all shaved up (bc dysphoria and falling to societal beauty standards plus i wanted to wear my white short shorts with out my jungle creepin out mah butt cheecks and upper thighs lowkey mad i cant figue out how to tuck but i was gonna deal and do my best) i got my brows did my skin was doin ok and he wasnt on all day and i had a limited time frame to hang bc the beach is relatively far from where i live andi cant drive or have a car or get a ride and my mom doesnt trust me in uber or public transportation and idek bus schedules or how that works so i had to go with my mom to her job to then go to the beach bc they’re close to eachother but no meeting time set we dont hang i slowly steep into a pitty party and im like ok mood is sad woe is me then today i decide to stay home and seep into this poison of negativity and he snaps me if i wanna go to the mall and im here ready to throw myself of a cliff while on fire bc i had gone with my mom every day but today and im like well f*ck sh*t im so deeply upset and saw the potential to hang today and i feel so at fault for staying home the one day we could hang and nope. i hate having these feelings bc i have reason to believe he likes me and bc of that i ended up liking him back and it irritates me that we cant have consistent conversation and its just like when ever he happens to have his phone. i dont like when i catch feelings, form a crush, become infatuated and i say infatuated bc ik its not something as deep as love i dont know much about him but i do care for him. he blacked out bc of his diabetes and i was really concerned for him and i honestly feel like the mom friend sometimes. but i just want to get to know him and see if it leads beyond infatuation. whenever i get infatuated its often hard core and i have vivid images of us at the beach but also not. like its just me alone no boardwalk no docks no pier just me ocean sa d and sun. i dont like feeling so out of controll its overwhelming and suffocating. i like to believe im a hard cold b*tch whos in controll of my emotions but im not. i can be apathetic but romance just stikes me to my core and i hate it that my feelings always feel or are one sided like ik no one is obligated to like me back but it seems like he does like me. i dont care but do care, deeply, at the same time its a mess and i hate having these negative feelings its like poison in my soul its heavy and petrifying. my tarot readings have been discouraging but my pendulum readings have said he likes me (i havent done a pendulum in the past few days but it still seems like he does) idk i guess im clingy and i feel like i annoy ppl a lot and with the song cut to the feeling its like cut to the feeling i wanna play where you play with the angles i wanna wake up with you all in tangles no more hesitation this is on not in order but you get the picture i didnt really pay much attention to the lyrics bc i think its a great sounding song as with most of my music but then i started to sing (terribly) and learn the lyrics and i wanna be in a relationship but when i think about it and im put in the situation it could happen i panic like suddendly everything is moving so fast and sometimes i even start trembling and shaking and i dont wanna rush into things so fast but i still love the song but now all i can think about is this whole situation and the song only presses it. i asked him how he feels about me and im waiting for a response. idk im just not feelin too good and this is really bringin me down and i could get over it and be done or at least i believe i could but i dont want to.. anyway yeah the song is pressing these sore spots in my emotional mess and its makin me sad sorry this is so long but im glad someone cared to hear

TLDR: im an emotional mess bc i cant talk to my crush often and had missed and failed chances to hang out. i wanna see where things go but not rush into things and cut to the feeling is a good song but its poking at these tender feelings.