#hi i'm trying to open up about some serious trauma over here and get some support and you keep trying to distract from that which I like

[snekdood]

i think I figured out what kind of ppl I dont like- it's ppl who treat life like a constant low-stakes comedy tv show where everyone forgets what happened yesterday unless its convenient to the plot

[ooffmlsorry]

OP Men Dating a "Girly Girl"

A/N: sorry this took so long and I haven't posted anything original in a minute my life is mess and I'm so very tired jfc...I know this isn't more than my usual group but I was just gonna stop at Luffy and then decided to add Ace and Sabo as a thank you because writing these and putting them on Tumblr has been really good for me, so thank you for always being here to indulge me 🥲 ❤️

Sanji, Zoro, Law, Luffy, Ace, Sabo

Sanji

Let's be honest, girly-girls drive Sanji craaaazzzzyy (not that all women don't, but he's definitely more partial to the feminine ones) Your make-up, pretty skirts and dresses, jewelry, and manicure, he can't help fawn over you constantly 😍Although you do it because you enjoy it, it's nice that your efforts are so appreciated!!

He spoils you soooo baaaddd!! He literally can't help himself when he sees something pretty or cute that reminds him of you, he has to get it for you. You're drowning in squishmallows at this point.

A river of blood shoots from him every time you show off a new outfit. You're going to kill him and he'll thank you for it.

Dressing up in nice outfits together, especially on date night, is a shared activity that you love to do together. Y'all are living your best happily ever after lives.

Ya'll definitely have scheduled self-care nights. You put on some slow music, open a bottle of wine, draw a bubble bath, all that.

He's utterly useless when it comes to helping you pick your outfits or makeup if you're stuck because he loves you in everything, it's too hard for him to pick. You're his perfect, beautiful Y/N-swaaaaan 😍💖💖✨

He does love to see you in pink or red though so he might default to those colors

Don't try to test your makeup on him lol, you're going to re-awaken the gender identity crisis...I mean Kamabakka trauma

Listen...I'm not saying Sanji has a mommy kink...I'm not even at Whole Cake Island so idk wtf is going on there. All I'm saying is if you give this man a bath, wrap him in a towel to dry him off, and rub him down with luxurious lotions and oils, you might awaken something...that's all...👀

ZORO

He has no clue wtf you're doing. If it weren't for the fact that there's no proof that witches exist in this world, he'd think you are one

He looks at your vanity full of serums, creams, scrubs, lotions, etc, not to mention the makeup and he's like "??????" Just completely baffled

But what do you expect? This man would use that five-in-one Irish Spring soap if he could.

Just because he doesn't understand it doesn't mean he doesn't appreciate and admire the fact that you have extensive knowledge in something he can't even comprehend

He knows you like nice shiny things, and again, while he doesn't get it, he does think it's really, really cute when you go starry-eyed over a necklace or an outfit in a store.

In the same vein, he knows how much you love cute things and animals. He has absolutely found a cute animal in the jungle, picked it up, and brought it to you just to show you because he knew you'd love it.

Sometimes in his own gruff way he'll agree with you that it's pretty cute. Thank you for helping this manly man admit things are cute and that's okay.

Other times, he's the one making sure you don't get distracted because it's so cute

Unfortunately and fortunately, you're pretty to him no matter what you do to yourself so it's all kind of a moot point to him.

You can try to ask him about which 'x' to wear, sometimes it's helpful because he'll throw out a really practical answer and then other times he's like "How 'bout you just go naked" 😏.

He'll wear a face mask with you like...twice a year. And he's going to bitch and moan about it but he does it because he loves you. The entire process is like trying to give a cat a bath "WHY IS IT SO COLD? THIS STAYS ON MY FACE FOR HOW LONG???"

Exfoliate this man at your own risk...I'm dead serious that water is going to be brown

LAW

I need you to know right now this man will let you paint his nails!!! I mean, not like gel or acrylics or anything, but he'll let you paint them any color as long as it's a dark shade of that color. You once designed Bepo on his middle fingers. He did in fact flip people off a lot more often when he had them.

Let's you wear a pastel boiler suit because you he loves you and wants to see you happy

Much like Zoro, he's got no clue what you're doing. He'll stand back and watch you while making the exact same face as the gif above.

He thinks he's being stealthy peaking around a corner to watch your morning or night routine, but you quickly catch on. Please please pleeaaassee ask him if he has any questions because he does. He's just really curious why you're doing what you're doing and what it does. It's basically skin medicine and he's really fascinated.

Knowing that you like shiny things makes his life admittedly a little easier, it's not that he doesn't think of what to gift you, he puts A LOT of thought into what he gives you, but knowing that earrings, necklaces, and bracelets always make you happy is great just in case of analysis paralysis or he forgets. Sorry.

Also you wearing the jewelry he gets you does something to him, especially a necklace he can pull on a little, mmhhm you're making this man struggle with impure thoughts.

You both love cute things, it's something y'all connect on. It's really good that you help him access that very neglected inner child of his and encourage him to coo and fawn over adorable animals with zero reservation.

He'll do skincare with you too when he's not super busy. He can admit it's kind of nice to sit in bed with a book, glass of wine, and a face mask and just bask for a minute

He acts like he hates when you rub serums across his face and use a derma roller on him but he loves it

Law doesn't really pay attention to your clothes, but when you really go all out he breaks out in a sweat and he can't keep his eyes off you.

LUFFY

I'm not saying he thinks it's stupid, it just...why have an hours long care routine when you could be going on adventure with him??? 😭😭😭

He will help you pick out your makeup but don't expect it to look good. You're gonna end up with neon orange eyeshadow and green lipstick. Like literally every "My Boyfriend Does My Makeup" youtube video.

Plays around with your stuff but that's because he has no idea what all these strange contraptions are. The moment you try to explain his eyes glaze over and next thing you know he's whisking you away to go do something more fun.

He likes the shiny bright stuff (highlighter), makeup probably is the only part he even remotely engages in because it's

Explain how contour works to this man and watch him lose his fucking mind, he thinks you're a shape shifter now (honestly this applies to all of them except Law and maybe Sanji)

He never notices what you wear, Nami is gonna have smack him on the back of the head to get him to realize you put on something fancy

Luffy points out everything, it just so happens that things he points out sometime happen to be cute animals

Hides in all the stuffed animals and squishmallows in your room to surprise attack hug you

*throws mud at you* "Is this the kind of mud you like, Y/N??" He really means well though.

You know those hair masks with all natural ingredients like honey and banana? Yeah, he's gonna start sucking on your hair like spaghetti...I'm so sorry.

He'll bathe with you but that's because he wants to be close to you, it's definitely not about being pampered or relaxing.

Try to put a face mask on him or something else and it'll just become a game of tag around the Sunny. You can't catch him and he's having a great time outrunning and outwitting you.

He knows this is all important to you so even though he doesn't get it he'd never make fun of you for it and the moment someone calls you "extra," he's kicking their ass.

ACE

Maybe all the glam is a little silly to him but that just makes you extra cute!

He will also absolutely let you paint his nails. Hell, he'll let you do a full beat on him just for fun and he'll wear it for the whole day because he's so unserious lol

...As long as he gets to do your makeup after...Much like Luffy you're gonna be covered in neon colors that don't even remotely match, but you guys have a great time lol

Admittedly likes to be pampered by you when he gets back from a long mission.

Please take a bubble bath with this man, it's not like the water is ever going to get cold!

I'm pretty sure you'd legitimately lead to Ace taking better care of himself. Got this man out here talking about his cuticles and shit lol

Honestly, it's really good for him because self care leads to self love and Ace needs a lot of help with that.

He tells Pops about all the stuff you do 1.) because he loves you and 2.) he hopes some of it will help Whitebeard heal a little, god bless him 😢

All of your hardwork doesn't go unnoticed, he legitimately gets kind of misty eyed when you really dress up because he's so so so lucky. He swears he doesn't deserve you.

He always brings back some kind of gift even whether it's a cute plushie or something exotic to wear from all of his long travels

I need to stress how much this means to him, everyone of these things is like a little proposal because he already knows you're it. Every little gift is leading up to a ring from this man.

He's also just genuinely impressed by the skill it takes to do your makeup so well, especially after he tries doing it on you

Much like his little brother unfortunately, he does play with all the little contraptions in your vanity, especially in the beginning because have you seen an eyelash curler? He's so confused lol

SABO

Sabo and Ace truly are his brothers because he really don't get all the effort lol

Admittedly, a lot of that is because he thinks you're so hot already what's the point???

Once he gets this is just how you are he's less confused, he's probably the most normal out everyone. He lets you do your thing, although he's really curious how you managed to always look amazing while being in the fucking revolutionary army!!?? Where are you getting the time???

If someone were to intrude on y'all on a free afternoon you're both in fluffy robes with face masks on and Sabo loves to pretend to act like a bitch when he's in selfcare mode with you lol

"Are you seriously bothering us right now, ugh! I can't even right now!!" And then you both break out in laughter

He really thinks you should teach others how to contour and do makeup because it has great applications for disguises and infiltration.

And brags about your skills to everyone

Wonders how many of your makeup supplies could actively be used as a weapon *eye roll* jfc Sabo

There's a part of you that secretly worries all your boujieness will remind him of his blood relatives, but he assures you that it doesn't because you have a good heart and he never doubts that

Besides, being a little extra with him helps him associate those things he used to associate with his blood relatives with you instead so it's even better

He spoils you so bad, but with a Sabo-flair, ie. stealing from shitty people and bringing it back to you because you're oh so more deserving of nice things let's be honest

He gets jealous of the cute animals that you squeal over hehehe, please hug him when he starts pouting

He'll always wear a little pink just for you ❤️

[soireegurl]

i have this idea for a fic but i cant write, lol so im dropping it in your ask box cause youre like the best yandere writer i know on here so here it is:

you running away from yandere!heeseung when you had the chance, then you encountered a nice guy (i imagine to probably be sunghoon) and then you tell him all bout you running away, heeseung, all that stuff. butttt here's the twist.. hoon has been stalking you for a looong time so yeah kind of like reader got away from a yandere just to end up with another yandere 💥

Omggg thank you for writing in! I'm so glad to hear that from you 😊 here it is sorry for the long wait! Hope you like it!

You’d been running for days, constantly looking over your shoulder, heart pounding. Heeseung, with his unsettling gaze and obsessive demeanor, was always one step behind. It was terrifying, knowing that someone so fixated was out to find you.

His words and actions are no doubt trauma for you.

It started all nice and romantic, Heeseung was the sweetest guy you've ever met and no doubt, you have fallen in love with this beautiful man. But things started to get handy.

Ever since you guys officially got together, he has been possessive. Like to an extreme amount.

To the point where you felt suffocated and scared. You tried to talk to him about it but he always turned to the same behaviour.

You couldn't take it anymore and decided to break up with him... Which obviously didn't turn out well.

"Heeseung... I... I'm sorry. I... Let's break up."

You said not looking at him. You didn't want to see any of that madness in his eyes.

"Baby... Was that a joke? Or..."

His tone wasn't warm.... It was cold. As if, if you said "no" the next second, he would tear you into pieces.

But you can't let fear over take you.

"No. I'm serious Heeseung. I want to break up with you."

And there... Boom!

You ended up in his basement for 3 weeks.

For 3 weeks, you have been trying to run. Of course failing almost every time.

But that day... You finally got out of his grip.

Then, amidst your frantic escape, you stumbled upon someone who seemed like a beacon of calm.

Sunghoon, with his warm smile and kind eyes, offered you a moment of respite.

You poured your heart out, telling him everything: how you’d been fleeing from Heeseung, how his intense obsession made your life a nightmare.

Sunghoon listened patiently, offering comforting words and seeming genuinely concerned. You felt a glimmer of hope. Maybe you’d finally found safety.

"I'm sorry to hear that Y/n... I'm here now... I will take care of you..."

But as the days went on, you began to notice little things. Sunghoon was always there, just when you needed him. It seemed like he had an uncanny ability to show up at the right place and time.

"Oh? Sunghoon? What are you doing in my house?"

"Here! I bought you some chocolate. I thought you might need this right now."

"Oh my god that's so sweet of you... How did you know that I am in desperate need of this right now?"

You smiled and took the chocolate from his hand.

"Every time you fail a test, you always get chocolates to cheer yourself up, don't you?"

He said with a proud smile.

But... You have never told him that... And you never told him that you failed your most recent test...

So... How does he know?

But at that time, you were too innocent to even notice this was odd.

Eventually, a year later, you and Sunghoon got into a relationship.

One evening, as you were looking through Sunghoon's phone, as your phone ran out of battery and you desperately needed a phone to do some research.

Curiousity got into you and somehow, you decided to open up Sunghoon's gallery.

you came across something unsettling. A series of photos you didn’t remember taking.

They showed you in various locations, from moments of vulnerability to everyday scenes.

Your heart sank as you realized these were taken by Sunghoon.

Confronting him, you saw a shift in his demeanor. His warm smile faded, replaced by a more intense, calculating gaze.

You sensed danger. Your body is telling you to run, and of course, you followed what your body told you to do.

You ran for your life.

Why have you never noticed anything?

“You didn’t think you’d escape that easily, did you?” he whispered next to your ears and he caught up to you.

"I didn't plan all this just to let you escape..."

He said and smirked.

"What... What do you mean?"

"You know... I could have just given you a backup phone... I'm not that stupid Y/n.."

"I want you to know how much I love you... And you should love me as much too..."

The realization hit hard. You had run from one yandere, only to fall into the grasp of another.

Sunghoon’s obsession, hidden behind a facade of kindness, was just as consuming.

The cycle of escape and obsession seemed never-ending, leaving you to confront the stark reality of your situation.

[jamiedc-they-them]

Good People Part III: As you would have them do unto you. (Platonic)

Note: A summary of episode 3-4-beginning of 5. CW/ Discussions of PTSD flashbacks, trauma - mild mention of what happened in Reader's past; needles

Summary: Capture, being used as bait, having internal spirals you can't control, losing a finger, and almost having your organs harvested; something about that really bonds two people together.

Part 1 Part 2

"It's smart," you say, carrying the head, "his idea. His head, and whatever the hell is inside it, for your dad. It's a fair trade."

"It's horrible," Lucy objects.

"Most things are here."

"I hate it."

"Yeah, me too," you admit.

"How have you survived all on your own up here? I mean, no weapons or anything," she then realises how that sounds, "sorry."

You wave it off, accidentally waving the head in her direction, "you're good. And, I used to. I wasn't alone. Had some people."

"What happened with them?"

"Most of them took our stash and ran."

"'Our'?" She catches onto.

You pause at a water filled place. No way you'll get through that without something eating you.

You clench your jaw, "yeah...I was the only one left after a few days."

"I'm -" she goes to reach out, then remembers how you reacted before. She doesn't touch you, but her hand hovers near your shoulder, and she instead finishes her sentence, "sorry. I'm sorry for, whatever happened."

You shrug, "yeah, well. Guy pissing on my wound ain't the worst thing in the world, I'll say that," you leave the conversation there.

As you try and find a way through, a gulper jumps out of the water. It grabs Lucy on the leg, and knocks you away.

"Y/N!" Lucy calls out, being dragged, "Y/N, my gun!"

You put a hand to your head, it ringing. You blink to focus your vision, finding Lucy's drug gun in front of you. You crawl to it, the world moving in slow motion almost.

"Here!" Lucy says, throwing you a shot. You open the gun, and slot it in place.

You aim it up, as Lucy tries to kick the thing to get it to let go of her leg.

You fire. It hits the target. It works for a moment. Lucy gets scratched, but she isn't worried about that right now.

"Y/N! The head!" she calls out to you. You're already watching the Gulper run away with it and go into the water. You are already up and running. Lucy isn't far behind you.

"Dang it!" she says, before looking at her Pipboy, looking at the tracker for it.

She takes off her bag.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa!" You say, putting an arm out to stop her, "I'll go. I can swim better."

"You can't be serious!"

"Like you ain't just gonna jump in there yourself!"

A whistle breaks up your argument. There he is, the Ghoul from before. Lucy is on the ground the next moment, and a pistol is in your face.

"Don't move now, sunshine," he says to you, before asking Lucy about the head.

She doesn't know, she lies. Even saying "I lost it" instead of we.

So, you're both then tied up, and dragged.

To you, it's too similar to...to before.

You go silent, almost numb.

Lucy is dunked in the water. She keeps begging with the Ghoul, that doesn't help with your memories...

"Be like your friend," the Ghoul says, "and be more quiet, huh?"

You don't talk, not for a long time in your journey. You're just stuck in your head.

She's tried to talk to you time and time again, each time getting more concerned - even airing it to the Ghoul - but nothing comes of it. There's only one instance, when he talks to his Ghoul friend, you come back, sensing the atmosphere. You turn to Lucy, and look away from the scene. Lucy looks to you. It's enough to not let her see the man get shot at least. Even if the blood hits you both.

She can see that you've gone back to how you were when you first met, a mess on the edge it seemed. Desperate, and dying.

Now, more than ever, she understands what that's like.

"Y/N...drink, please," she begs. And, for a moment, you come out of your internal hell.

Slowly you approach it. And then human instinct takes over. You drink, as much as you can fit in your mouth, greedily. It isn't like when she met you. Here, you're a survivor. Not a friend.

You couldn't be that survivor right now. So, she would be in your place. She promises to.

It's why she runs, to try and buy you some time to fight back.

She gets lassoed, but rips off a finger. She loses her own.

"Now, as much as I respect you for it," the Ghoul admits, "try that again, and it's your friend who's next. And I'll give them something to stew over, ok?"

She nods, but he see's the threat in her eyes as well. A fire that's there. He looks back to you. someone who is so lost.

It reminds him of himself in the first few years of his search. He doesn't ask you, though. He tells himself he doesn't care - and, part of that is true, you're just cargo to get more of his meds - but, it's mainly because he's scared of what you'll say. And if it'll drag him back there as well. Grief, loss, pain, a hell of a motivator, but something you could also drown in as well. He drowned for a bit, for god knows how long - it's how his legend grew. But, he pulled himself together. Once you're gone, you can pull yourself together or not - that's not up to him.

So, he leaves you alone. Continues with Lucy, shooting the Vault-tech sign and all. He hated putting his thumb up for that dumb advert.

Lucy looks back to you. That gunshot has made you jump, but now your eyes are darting around. You're trying to find exits. You're, somewhat, back in the present.

You look to her, genuinley fearful - but she's just glad you're back with her. That she's not alone anymore. Selfish, she knows, but she's glad. Gets her hopes up somewhat.

You arrive at your destination, a supermarket. There, the trade goes by.

"Nice to have you back with us, sunshine," The Ghoul says to you, "shame it happened too late," he quips before shoving you forward.

You and Lucy enter the market. A Mr Handy robot greets you both.

"You will both be swell in no time," the bot says to you. Another, identical bot, approaches you, "my colleague here will have you in tip-top shape in no time."

You look to Lucy, 'fight' you say to her. She nods; 'be safe' is what she says to you.

You both go to different rooms.

"Now, my friend," the Handy says to you, "how may I help you today?"

"Uh, couple of cuts," you say, "some infection of some kind from urine."

"Oh, I do say, old chap, that does not sound sanitary at all!" you shrug, "well, not to worry. I have just the thing for you here."

You see the robot go past different cabinets. It even spins around at some point - maybe it was the urine that threw it off - but finally it finds something for you. Rad-away, and some antibiotics.

"Get those down you and let the Rad-away do its thing, and you should be good as new in no time at all!"

You inject the radaway into you, and take the antibiotic. You don't know if it's just you making it up in your own mind - fooling yourself - but you do feel stronger.

"How do you feel, old chum?"

"Better," you say, "thank you."

"Absolutely no worry, at all, my friend. Now, just sit still for this next part."

You do so, but soon regret it; as you are forced down onto the chair.

"What the fuck --"

"Now, now, no need for language like that! All will be ok soon. Just a small prick for your organs and then you're free!"

Well, when you put it like that --

A saw starts up. You struggle in the straps. Restrained, and having no choice but to wait for death, you've been here before. It was what made you be alone.

You manage to, just, loosen one of your arms, and turn just enough to make the saw hit the straps. You grab a tray, swinging it into the robot. Using the brief time you have, you undo your other strap and shove the bed into it. Adrenaline at a high. You can fight this time. You can stop it this time.

You grab a scalpel, and jam it into one of the eyes. You do it to another after dodging a swing or two. It falls to the floor, and you begin stamping on it. It won't get up, but you also can't let it live. This isn't a man pissing on you; this was something - programmed by someone - to harvest your organs. This is a threat. A raider like threat.

Still, this Mr Handy isn't to blame. It's been programmed to kill you. That, and it did heal you.

So, you crouch down, putting a hand on its head, say 'I'm sorry' to it, before driving your blade into it one more time.

It doesn't speak after that.

Removing the scalpel, you collect yourself. You did it. You set it right. The ghosts in your head can leave you alone now.

You get up, finding what sharp objects you can, before you start to leave and --

"Oh! Oh, Y/N, thank god!" you run directly into Lucy.

You both give each other a once over, nodding when you don't find any wounds.

"You have colour to your cheeks!" Lucy celebrates, "did yours --?"

"Try and kill me? Yeah. Yours --" you pause, looking at Lucy's, "...didn't?"

She looks back at it, then to you, "Oh, no, it did. I just reprogrammed it."

You put out your bottom lip and nod, impressed, "atta girl."

Lucy chuckles, "alright, what do you say we bust this place?"

You nod, and smile a genuine one, "let's do it," you say.

So, together, you do. Making them release the Ghouls. The last one...however, isn't a good call.

"Move!" you say, dragging Lucy away right as she grabs a gun. It goes off, the Ghoul goes silent. It's just you both left.

Lucy looks at her hands.

You get up, and move in front of her, crouching down, "it - it's ok," you say, not used to being the comforting type after so long...the ghost in your head of your previous time being like this play on you. Lucy isn't like that, like them, she's alive. She's had your back. So far, anyway.

She looks to you again, eyes lost like your one's once were.

"Hey..." you say, putting your hand out, letting it hover near hers. She looks to it, to you.

"How -- I --"

"I know, I know," you say, "it's ok. You had to."

It takes a moment, before she gathers herself. Her eyes go a shade of colder, "the, uh, the man who took us?" she says, seemingly out of the blue, "he traded us for those," she nods her head to something to your side; looking, you see it's vials. Orange ones.

You look back to Lucy, "no one else?" you say, knowing her line of thinking.

She nods, "no one else. Not if we can avoid it."

So, you give the Ghoul some vials, and leave him be to whatever it is that's next for him. It's not up to you.

Now it's you both again, walking side by side with some weapons to your name.

"Can I ask you something personal?" Lucy asks. her voice isn't as chirpy or in awe of everything as before. It's rougher, more serious.

You nod.

"What were you thinking about as we were dragged along?"

"Some people I let down."

She nods, "your family."

"I thought they were."

She nods again, "I lost some of mine, too. I never really knew my mother. I lost some friends to Raiders."

You nod this time, "you know what they're like then."

"Ruthless."

"Brutal."

"Animals."

"Arseholes."

"Butchers."

"You know they made me watch?" Lucy stays silent, knowing that you need this, "they took all my stuff, killed all my friends who wouldn't join them? Left me for dead. A...reminder, or something."

"How long ago was that?"

"Lost my Pip," you say, "didn't really count the days. Just sort of wandered as best I could. Guess I hoped the circles or something would be best punishment."

"You don't deserve that."

"Yeah, well, you don't deserve to be hauled around like cargo," you say, coming to a stop, "you don't deserve to drink that piss water. Or get shot at, or anything. You deserve the vault, and family and not the fucked up place that is up here with fucked up people like me!"

You hate the tears building in your eyes. Lucy hates seeing them.

"I'm not a good person, Lucy. And, to be honest, I don't fully know why you came looking for me."

"Because you're my friend -"

"Am I?" you fire back with, "I mean, jesus, I got you to Filly, got shot, then came with you for my own survival. I didn't help with the Ghoul, or any of that."

"Am I angry at you?"

"I don't know why you aren't."

"Because, and it's why I came back for you; you're my friend, when things come down to it, I know you'll help me," that smile returns, one of a genuine belief in people and her mission. You shut your eyes, your mind and ghosts of past failures telling yourself you don't deserve that look - let alone being called a friend - but you open your eyes and look at them. Not hiding from them.

You hear something, a cry out, and both turn to an abandoned tunnel.

You both go forward. Roaches are climbing over a Brotherhood of Steel suit. You and Lucy shoot the roaches.

"Look, my friend and I here, everyone we've met so far - aside from each other - have tried to kill us," Lucy tells the man in the suit. He promises he won't.

Lucy goes to say more, but instead vomit comes out.

"I have rad-away!" the man says, "I can help. Please, just let me out!"

Lucy collapses. You don't even think, you catch her and lay her down. Trying to shake her back awake.

"She doesn't have long until she's unconscious," the suit says, "I have what she needs to -"

"I know what she needs! Come on Lucy, come on!" You say, shaking her again. More vomit leaves her. You put her on her side.

"Look, just let me out and I can help her! Please! Please!"

You don't have many options. Desperation is a hell of a motivator. You go to the suit, turning the wheel and letting the man out.

"Thank you. Thank you --" he says to you.

"Thank me by saving her," you say, pointing to Lucy.

He nods, grabbing the radaway like he said. You put Lucy's head in your lap.

"You're gonna be fine, ok. You're gonna be fine," you promise her. You move some hair from her face. She coughs.

The man looks to you, and you nod. He injects the needle into Lucy. You see the transfusion start.

It takes time, but slowly the colour starts to return to Lucy's skin.

"Can --" she whispers, quietly, "can I hold your hand?" she asks.

You put your hand in hers.

"I - I knew I was a good judge of character," she wheezes, eyes opening and blinking a few times as she recovers, "I knew you were a friend."

You chuckle, half between that and a sort of sob of joy, "yeah," you say, "yeah, guess you were right."

You look to the Knight you saved, and give a nod of gratitude. He nods back, and sits back onto his hands, trying to recover himself, He's covered in sweat, likely having been put in the suit for a while.

"Thank you," you say to him, gratitude pouring through and walls being fully down.

"Thank you," he parrots back.

You nod, looking back down at your friend. She looks at you, giving you a smile.

You smile back.

She's ok. You haven't failed this time.

You've saved a friend.

You've saved a friend.

Part 4

[blackcoldcrackedheart]

So yeah, I wrote a different version in where Tommy adopts Daniel.

(Last post for some time btw)

Tommy isn't religious, but he's praying to whomever can hear him that the boy,who looks barely two or three years old, is okay.

He wants to desperately curse out the parents for being stupid enough to go hiking when the Santa Ana winds were getting stronger.

Tommy picks up the kid gingerly, waiting for his team to pull the parents first since they weren't responding. The kid had a horrible open wound that Tommy was betting was a fracture but the kid's eyes were open and he seemed alert- scared really.

Something about the kid's eyes felt eerily familiar- a sense of deja vu washed over Tommy. The kid's eyes were starting blue and so animated, that Tommy was sure he could read the kid's thoughts just by looking into his eyes.

He gently pushed back the kid's blond curly hair back, pressing against the wound as the kid's eyes could only look around in fear. "Hey, I'm Tommy. What you're name, kiddo?"

"Danny." The kid slurred, his voice barely a whisper. "Mommy and daddy hurt?"

Tommy nodded, "Yes, your mommy and daddy got hurt but my friends are gonna help, okay? We're all firefighters and we're gonna take you to the hospital so you can feel better." He explained gently. He looked up to the helicopter that Lucy was piloting l. The winds were harsh and he had covered Danny's face from having to see his parents sway in the wind as they were being pulled into the helicopter.

"Firetruck?" Danny's eyes were filled with wonder and excitement, of course the kid would love firetrucks.

Tommy laughed, " When we get out of here, we can go see firetrucks with your mom and dad. Okay?"

Danny's eyes drooped close, Tommy patted the toddler's face gently, "Hey buddy, I know you're tired, but I need you to stay awake."

"I'm not tired, Tummy."

Tommy nearly snickered at that, the kid was such a cutie pie. "Hey, what if we sang a song? Want to sing me a song?"

He heard it before he heard his team yell.

The sound of the ground shifting.

"KINARD!"

Tommy shielded the kid and tried to duck into the smallest crevice known to man, he prayed to whomever could listen that the kid would be okay if he wasn’t.

“Kinard, you good?” He heard Milton yell out urgently.

“Never better.” He yelled back, trying to not chuckle at how the avalanche would have definitely hit him if he hadn’t moved in time. He looked down at Daniel, the kid was holding onto his jumpsuit tightly, eyes closed and clearly afraid. “Hey buddy, we’re okay.” Tommy assured him, running his hand through his curls.

“The kid okay?”

“Shaken, but he’s a trooper.”

-

The kid was a trooper, but definitely afraid still. He had refused to move away from Tommy, or as the others were loving the new nickname; Tummy. Ashara was kind about it, fixing what she could as the toddler would cry whenever someone tried to touch him.

“You think he was okay at home?” Ashara asked, looking over the kid with a worried expression, “I’ve never seen a kid so clingy like this before.”

Tommy sighed, “I have…little kids need someone to hold onto when they survive trauma. The kid just witnessed his parents getting buried by rocks and dirt, I’m surprised all he has are just gashes and bruises from what I can see.” He rubbed Daniel’s back soothingly, smiling in relief when he realized that Daniel was sound asleep in his arms.

“Kinard.” Lucy’s voice came through his headset, a gentle but pointed warning.

Tommy rolled his eyes, “Just fly this thing, Donato.”  

-

Tommy had been firefighter for decades at this point. He knew the number one rule.

Their job ended at the glass door.

But this time…

Daniel was still clinging to him once they landed and once they tried to put the toddler onto a gurney, he had screamed his head off till he was red, his arms reaching out to Tommy.

He turned to his team, who were all watching and waiting for Tommy to make his next move, and then turned to the med team.

“You’re serious?” Lucy asked, her eyes wide as Tommy went up to a male nurse.

“Would it be okay if I stay? Until you find his other family?” Tommy asked the man, his badge showing his name as Amir.

Amir frowned, looking back at Daniel and then at him- clearly this was first for the med team. “Okay, but just till we reached the next of kin. I don’t need to traumatize this kid twice over.”

Tommy nodded and rushed back to his team, “Tell the Cap that I’m sorry, I’ll try to head back once they call in his family.”

Lucy, Milton, and Ashara all glanced at each other, the same worried expression passing over their features. Lucy was the first to step up, “Keep us posted? I’ll pick you up if the Cap is cool with it.”

Tommy thanked and rushed off, promising his teammates that he would keep them posted if anything happened.

-

Three hours later Tommy was softly humming to a now calm Daniel.

The boy had been panicky whenever someone dared to even come close. Fortunately the doctors were able to confirm that Daniel was fine- he had to wear a cast on his arm and had to get a few stiches on his forehead and shoulder, but he was fine. In the appropriate weight and height class for his age, no signs of physical abuse that would make his doctor or social worker, Claudia, worried.

“I can’t imagine what he witnessed on that trail.” Claudia sighed, watching as Tommy fed the little boy a cup of mac and cheese.

“I don’t think we want to.” Tommy had seen the parents- those two had to be in critical care by now. He wasn’t sure if they would make it, but he hoped they did and hoped that their family would show support. Those two needed their family to help, especially with explaining to Daniel why he more than likely wouldn’t be seeing his parents for some time.

Claudia smiled, Daniel was adorably enjoying being fed while Tommy made ‘plane noises’ “I feel like he has you wrapped around his finger now.” She teased.

Tommy laughed, he couldn’t deny it really, “You try looking into those eyes and telling the kid no.” he joked, going back to feeding Daniel once the toddler started asking for “Plane?” again.

A part of him wasn’t surprised, he had a niece and nephew that he adored and spoiled. His sister Sarah and her husband Chet (short for Chetachukwu), lived in Napa and were not always too thrilled when Uncle TomTom came to visit because that meant things like…a built from scratch swing set or a treehouse (with furniture, “Because it has to have furniture Sarah!”).

He never pictured himself having kids…

No, he wasn’t going to go there, especially right now.

“He is adorable.” Claudia cooed, “I’m glad he has you right now, unfortunately we can’t always have someone sit for the kids who don’t have their parents or family when they come in.”

Tommy nodded, knowing this was the case with patients he had had brought in before, “Any luck with contacting the next of kin?”

Claudia shook her head ‘no’, “No luck, we’re still trying though.” She promised.

Tommy looked at his watch, it was nearing the end of his shift soon and so far he had only gotten a few messages from his team, particularly Lucy and Milton who had confirmed that the Captain was good with him staying with Daniel and a reminder for Tommy to message either of them when he was ready to head back. “Take your time.” He told her, “I’ve got nowhere to be for now.”

Tommy tried not to wince, knowing how depressed he sounded at that last part.

A few hours later Tommy and Daniel were emersed in a Bluey marathon on Tommy’s phone, sharing a cup of grapes and a bottle of apple juice.

‘In all honestly, not the worst way to spend a Friday night post-breakup.’ Tommy thought, the kid seemed to be distracted enough that he even was giggling and smiling at some parts of the show, which was a relief for Tommy.

The door opened, revealing Claudia and a older looking woman. “Mr. Kinard?” the older woman addressed him, “I’m Anita Hernandez, I’m the supervising social worker for the pediatric unit.” She explained,

Tommy could feel his stomach drop, “Nice to meet you.”

“Likewise.” Anita sighed, looking at now nervous Claudia. “I wanted to introduce myself because one, I want to thank you so much for staying with Daniel throughout all this. My understanding is that you’re the one that saved him?”

Tommy shrugged, not liking the attention that he gets from his job, “It was a team effort.” He mumbled. “Well, either way it’s clear that Daniel is very attached to you. Which is why I thought it would be better to ask you, are you in any way interested in becoming the emergency foster parent for Daniel?”

Tommy froze, unsure at who to look at first as he tried to process the request. “What? I-What about his family? The parents didn’t have anyone?”

Claudia shook her head ‘no’, “Unfortunately the father had a fallout with his family a couple of years of ago and they don’t have any interest in taking care of Daniel and the mother’s side seems to be either too far or not physically able to care for Daniel- even temporarily.” She explained, “We know it’s a lot to ask, but considering how bonded Daniel seems to be with you, if you or anyone you know are willing to become an emergency placement then we can-”

“I’ll do it.”  

[slayfics]

Muichiro tries sake for the first time with you.

Warnings: alcohol use | Muichiro aged up, no underage drinking condoned here

You walked into the estate holding a bag of supplies you had gone out to grab.

"That took you longer than expected," Muichio commented on your late arrival.

"I know. A customer was giving the saleswomen a hard time so I had to put him in his place. It slowed me down a bit but look," you said enthusiastically, pulling two bottles out of the bag. "She was so thankful she gave me two free bottles of sake!"

"Oh my that was rather generous of her,'" Muichiro said, eyeing the large bottles of sake.

"I tried to deny them but she wouldn't take no for an answer, and I figured it might be nice for us to unwind after the challenging last few days." You said placing the oversized bottles of sake on the table.

"Hmm..." Muichiro pondered, tilting his head, "I'm not sure if I ever tried sake before."

"Well no better time like today," you said, placing two sake cups on the table and flashing a wide grin at Muichiro.

"I suppose it wouldn't hurt to try," Muichiro decided, opening one of the bottles and pouring you both a cup full of sake.

You held your cup out to him indicating to cheers. Muichiro looked at you curiously but held his glass up and followed your lead in clinking cups.

He took a sip of his sake and his eyes widened, "this is actually tasty." He said, finishing and pouring himself another cup.

"I'm glad you like it," you said smiling again at the Hashira.

You served yourself some food in the kitchen and came back to find Muichiro had finished almost half of the first bottle.

"Umm- Tokito you said this was your first time drinking sake, but is it your first time drinking alcohol at all?" You asked, a little concerned about Muichiro's pacing.

"Hmmm... I might have tried something before but not much I don't think." He said, finishing another cup.

You sat down to eat and pushed a plate over to Muichiro. "Maybe you should eat as well and take it a little slow," you said, placing your hand on the back of your neck. You felt strange giving a Hashira orders but you couldn't help but be worried Muichiro would make himself sick.

"Ok," Muichiro agreed, taking bites of the food you slid over to him but continued to down more cups of sake. At this point, you noticed the Hashira swaying a bit. "Hey, what was your life like before demons?" He asked.

"What do you mean?"

"What was your life like? What did you do? Who did you know?" He clarified.

"Pretty normal I guess, I spent time with friends and family. I didn't always know demons existed so it was peaceful until... well you know-" You cut off not wanting to get any more into the trauma you had endured.

"Friends, did you have a boyfriend or anything like that?" Muichiro asked, finishing another cup of sake.

"Hahaha umm..." You took a drink of your own cup before answering. "No, nothing like that. Sort of the opposite actually."

"The opposite?" He asked, tilting his head again in an adorable manner completely captivated by your story.

"Yeah... I used to get made fun of when I was younger by some of the boys in my village..." You said wincing at the old memory. It was kind of comical actually how you stood in front of demons every day but the thought of the silly boys and their mean words still affected you.

"WHAT!" Muichiro exclaimed, causing you to jump. Muichiro never had that much enthusiasm when he spoke. It was a harsh contrast to his usual low and dreamy voice. "You're being serious, what dense boys," he said, filling up his cup once more. "Oh, I seemed to have finished the first bottle..." Muichiro began to open the next bottle of sake and poured you both another cup.

"You sure you're ok Tokito?" You asked, feeling worried about the Hashira as his demeanor had drastically changed indicating his drunkenness.

"I'm great! I don't think I've felt this good in a long time actually,” he said, stuffing another bite of food in his mouth. "Those boys were very ignorant, they were lucky to even have been in your presence," Muichiro said, his face flushed. You weren't sure if his flushness was from the sake or his words.

"Thanks, Tokito," you said, nervously looking down at your cup and taking a sip.

"No need to be modest about it- You're wildly beautiful." He said his gaze moving from his sake to fix on you.

His fixed gaze sent a shiver down your spine, you weren't sure how to handle so much of the Hashira's attention. Muichiro never spoke so openly about how he viewed you, as much as you loved it you weren’t sure how to respond.

“Umm thank you- so um, what about you?”

“Hm?”

“Ever since you got your memories back you haven’t shared much about what you remembered or how your life was before joining the corps.” You spoke trying to take the attention off of yourself.

Muichiro’s expression quickly changed and his eyes seem to glaze over, “I lived with my parents and twin brother until they all died.” He said plainly with seemingly no emotion in his voice.

You instantly felt foolish for asking the Hashira. How dense were you? The memories had to be awful if they caused Muichiro to lose his memory. He was enjoying his night and you brought that crashing down with one question.

“I’m so sorry Tokito- I shouldn’t have asked…,” you said looking back down at your cup and taking a sip in hopes of banishing your mistake.

Muichiro just shrugged, “No need to apologize, you are rather cute when you’re embarrassed,” he said gaze still fixed on you.

He appeared to be unaffected by the remembrance of his family and quickly found a way to bring the attention back to you.

Your heartbeat increased and you nervously searched your brain for a way to respond. “You’re cute yourself being so tipsy,” you decided to say.

Muichiro attempted to get closer to you but stumbled and fell over catching himself on his hands. You quickly made your way to help him.

“I’m embarrassed,” Muichiro said as you placed your arms out to steady him.

“Don’t be, you deserve to unwind every once in a while you work hard.” You said. Muichiro’s gaze was no longer fixed on you but past you at the door.

“I uh- don’t feel so well-“ he mumbled, and tried to stand with no luck. He stumbled back into place.

“I’ll help you,” you said, wrapping his arm around you and standing him up. Muichiro looked like he wanted to protest but didn’t have the strength. His face was turning pale white and you were sure it was taking all his strength not to be sick all over the floor.

You two crashed into the bathroom and Muichiro swiftly dropped to the toilet successfully holding in his sickness till he made it. You carefully grabbed his hair and held it out of the way for him.

It was hard to tell with him being sick but it appeared Muichiro was crying as well.

“Thank you-“ he said, looking away from you. You grabbed him a fresh towel and he wiped his face before turning around to look at you. When he turned to finally look at you, his cheeks were colored again but his eyes were swollen and glossy with tears.

“You’re so nice, I’d kiss you if I didn’t just throw up.” He said. Normally that would have caused butterflies in your stomach but you found yourself overwhelmed with concern for the Hashira.

You bent over and kissed him on his forehead. Muichiro came crashing down into your arms, head resting on your chest. You instinctively wrapped your arms around him and he began to weep.

“I remember now. I miss them, my mom and dad- my brother-“ he mumbled in between sobs. You hugged him tighter and rested your head on top of his.

“I’m so sorry Tokito,” you said, rocking back and forth slightly trying to soothe him. With these gentle motions, the Hashira’s tears slowly subsided.

“I can help you to bed if you like,” you offered.

“Can’t I stay here,” he asked, closing his eyes and enjoying your rhythmic movements.

“Yes, I’ll hold you as long as you want,” you said and planted another kiss on top of his head. After a few moments, his breathing depended and the weight of his head increased on your chest indicating he had fallen asleep. You leaned back against the wall and allowed your own eyes to become heavy, arms still wrapped around the Hashira.

Hi! Sorry I decided not to add any tags on this since I wasn’t sure how everyone felt about alcohol use~

[asunsetgrace16]

Alright, 9-1-1 Bucktommy fans, It's time for my tinfoil hat moment. (this is the only thing keeping me sane rn)

So. Based on 8x06, it's easiest and the least painful to assume that Bucktommy is done for good.

HOWEVER...it is not out of the realm of possibility that those interviews were supposed to hit the way they did and they are really just fucking with us. OS's interview was less than ideal in multiple ways, unfortunately. If we follow with this, there may be a chance for them to get back together. Or if they are well and truly done, the chance for them to have an actual conversation about it. So here is my proposal:

8x07 is "Tommy Begins", set a few months after 8x06. In the present day, there is a multi-alarm emergency where the 217 and 118 are both there. In the flashbacks, we see Tommy in the army, facing indirect homophobia while trying to figure himself out.

Then his time at the 118 with Gerrard as captain, dealing with the same thing from the army. We see him try dating as a gay man, getting his first serious boyfriend circa ~2012-13. And thanks to the idea from @honestlynervousnut, it doesn't go well. It's abusive, manipulative, and when Tommy gets out of it, he tries to bury that part of him for good, associating moving in with a relationship going downhill. Thus enters Abby and the trauma etc.

We see him apologizing to Chim and Hen, and getting settled at the 217 while finally feeling comfortable with himself and his sexuality. Maybe there is another boyfriend or a few dates.

Present Day: The emergency is a nightmare, and it only gets worse when Tommy's helicopter crashes. Buck, despite trying to forget about his pain by sleeping around, still can't forget about Tommy. He's done some growing, some reflecting in there too. He drops what he's doing to run to Tommy. They get him to the hospital alive, but barely, maybe sprinkling in Tommy coding en route. Then they pull a Tarlos and have Buck talk to him while he's in a coma about how he still loves him, and wants to fight for them, and how he would be willing to start over if Tommy would just wake up.

The episode ends with Tommy squeezing Buck's hand and saying "Evan..."

THEN, just hold on, I'm not done yet.

8x08, we see Buck and Tommy have a heartbreakingly honest conversation while Tommy is in the hospital about Tommy's past relationships, his actual hesitation and reluctance to want to be with Buck. And Buck talks about how even though he thought he was secure in his sexuality, he wasn't actively trying to understand how to figure out what changed about him and what stayed the same while, sharing his growth too. Buck will bring up the line "you don't find a great love, you make it" and after the tears and the confessions, Buck says "I've never stopped loving you. And I won't, no matter how this ends, because as much as Abby was transformative, you blew my mind wide open to things that I never knew I could have." Buck gets his third chance, and they do say that the third time's the charm. He says the things he should have said last time.

Then there is more tears, Tommy says I love you back, and apologizes, and agrees to start over. Copy and paste Carlos holding on to TK's arm with a hand in his hair, but with Buck, and they kiss. Finally.

Then the camera pans to a shot of Bobby, Athena, Eddie, Chim, Lucy, and whoever else standing in the doorway/looking through the window but they can still hear all of Buck's speech, of Tommy's room, tears in their eyes and smiles on their faces.

Then the episode continues. Thanks for coming to my delusional TedTalk

[writers-potion]

Hi. I'm writing a novel in first person and my main character has some serious trauma around swimming, but I'm not quite sure how to write that fear or that reaction they would have. also having the same problem with a lot of fear-related subjects when writing in first person. any tips? thanks! :D

Hi, thank you for the question!

As someone who has a deep fear of drowning AND of swimming, I think I can testify for that particular fear in person. But before I dive in, here are some factors to consider:

Age of your character: A child or teen or adult?

Children are more likely to show fear by expressing dislike, or even being violent/throwing tantrums when they're made to confront it. Teens may try to hide it, or build creative (sometime extreme) methods to avoid it like hell. Adults, at least mature ones, will learn to build barriers around their fears: avoiding it as much as possible, but also learning to control their reactions when they come to contact with it.

One-time event or chronic?

Another thing to consider is how the trauma came to be in the first place. Here are two traumas from my personal life:

Fear of water: I nearly drowned in a wasterfall at age 2. At age 5, one of my friends pushed me into a pool unexpectedly. Age 10, my sister made me swim to the deep side of the pool and when I stopped to take a break, I couldn't stand up. Age 13, I had a horrible swimming teacher who expected everyone to be able to swim..etc.etc. I've had multiple near-death experiences in water and after that, even after I've learnt how to swim, I'll NEVER.

Fear of elevators: I was locked inside an elevator for over an hour during a powercut. When I managed to forced the door open to escape, I found myself staring at the abyss that smelled faintly of oil. I was stuck in between floors. + Around the same time, a delivery man in the same elevator grabbed and kissed me, then ran away. A couple of days later, he tried to force his way into our apartment when I answered the door. These two event alone was enough to compel me to take the stairs for the next seven months.

Usually when a trauma has been built over time, it's difficult to see the problem rationally even when time has passed.

Traumas caused by a large, one-off event, moving away from the specific location and getting rid of the situation more or less permanently is often enough to make the person see the situation rationally. It was that particular elevator, that delivery man. It's not going to happen again. It'll remain more like a fully healed scar that tingles once now and then.

The attitude of your character. Do they want to overcome the fear, and feel frustrated/angry at themselves when they inadvertently feel scared? Or are they highly defensive? Maybe they have no mental walls built, and simply run away at the slightest hint of the feared situation.

Tips for Writing Fears

It's easier to open up to strangers. It's easier to confess a fear to someone who doesn't know your personal history, since there's less chance you'll be judged.

Simulating isn't the same as actually confronting. Your character can find themselves dreaming about being able to swim perfectly, then feel their daydream shatter when they actually try to.

Extreme tension + crashing afterward. Whenever your character is exposed to swimming, they'll be at their wit's edge, being tense and paying extreme attention to their surroundings. Once they're home, they'll simply crash like how you'd hit the bed after a long, hard day (maybe feeling body pain, constricted chest, headache, loss of appetite from the sheer exhaustion).

Overly prepared vs. Avoiding. It's one or the other. Either your character brings a safety jacket, a donut tube, a rope, snorkling equipment, etc. or they don't bring a swimsuit at all so that they can say, "I can't swim in my skinny jeans and silk shirt, can I?" and avoid it altogether.

Saying "I'm okay!" repeatedly. More to themselve than to others as a form of desperate self-assurance.

Panic. At times when your character comes dangerously close to swimming, they'll just panic and make the situation worse for themselves. For example, if they just happen to slip inside water while sitting at the edge of the pool, they'll immediately start kicking and gasping as thogh they've already drowned. It almost becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. They'll swallow water, strain all the muscles in their body, and sit extremely still covered in multiple swimming towels afterward, saying nothing and playing the moment over and over in their head.

Being nervous for the whole day if they know they have a swimming class (or something similar) later

Dreaming about drowning

Trying to learn swimming, but not progressing for months because they can't bring themselves to step out of their comfort zone (which is going to be very small)

Hope this helps! :)

[fandom-blackhole]

hi, i really liked your work in ao3, so i’d like to request about joel where reader is pregnant and she’s freaking out a bit about telling joel, afraid he’s not going to take the new well, mostly cause of his traumas, but also cause it’s not a safe environment to raise a kid. thank you!

So sorry this took me absolutely forever to get to my lovely, school has been super busy for me! But I'm so happy that you liked my other Joel works and came over here send a request <3 I hope you like this!!

WC: 3.6K (this one got away from me woops)

Warnings: afab!reader, pregnancy, set in Jackson, no real spoilers (that i noticed), one cuss word, mentions of doubts and intrusive thoughts over the pregnancy, very unedited (i am tired and i am sure there are a ton of mistakes sorry)

When the sickness first started you chalked it up to food poisoning from the twenty some year old can of Cambell’s baked potato soup you had found and eaten while out on a three day supply run. Joel had warned you about eating it, but you had been too excited over the soup and the nostalgic memories of before the outbreak that it brought with it. So it wasn’t too much of a surprise when two days later as you were hunched over the toilet, Joel rubbed your back gently and waited until after you were finished and he passed you a glass of water, crossing his arms as he leaned back against the door frame and sighed, “Told you not to eat that soup.”

You had only huffed at him and lifted your hand, motioning for help, to which Joel helped you up off the floor and helped you to bed. He left you there with your glass of water and a small trash can, but not before he pressed a lingering kiss to your forehead and whispered, “Rest up. I’ll come check up on ya in a few hours.”

Of course when a week passed and you were still running from bed each morning, Joel insisted you visit the doctor in town. You pushed back at first, saying that it was probably just the flu, it was that time of year right before winter fully sets in and the weather bounced from warm and cold and almost everyone had at least the sniffles. Joel, however, kept pushing and eventually he won out after a particularly rough day where you could barely hold down water and you couldn’t handle Joel’s worried glances anymore.

So the next morning, before he left for his patrol, Joel walked you to the building downtown that had long been converted into a doctor’s office. The whole walk there Joel kept fretting over you.

“You sure you’ll make it back home alright? I can ask Maria to come and walk you back when she’s finished, or have her grab Ellie to do it.”

”I’ll be fine. I swear you act like I am gonna walk out of there knocking on death’s door.”

Joel of course gives you an exasperated look as the two of you turn the corner to the main hub of Jackson that was downtown and he gives a huff before saying, “You just have me worried. I’ve never seen you this sick and you haven’t been getting any better. It’s been two weeks, you should be getting better by now.”

“Joel, I really think you are making a mountain out of a molehill here,” you reply to his worry, trying to reassure him just a little, but as he opens the door for you to enter the doctor’s office he just shakes his head while looking at the ground. When he meets your eyes again, he says with full seriousness, “I don’t think you ‘re taking this serious enough. Maybe I should stay an’ make sure you don’t downplay everything.”

At that you take a step forward towards Joel and stick a finger on his chest with your eyebrows raised.

“Oh no, you are going to go do your patrol with Tommy. I can do this like an adult,” you pause and meet Joel’s hazel gaze, reading into his worry with a sigh, “and I promise I will tell the doc the whole truth, leaving nothing out. You aren’t going to lose me to something as small as the flu Joel Miller, you’re stuck with me.”

That earned you a small quirk of Joel’s lips, before he sighed again before nodding. You gave him a small smile back and pressed a kiss to Joel’s nose before whispering a goodbye and walking into the doctor’s office.

---

Well, Joel was right it would seem. It wasn’t the flu like you had assumed. You weren’t even sure how to wrap your head around what the doctor had come in and told you. He had told you that he ran the test twice just to be sure, but both had come back positive. You were pregnant and there was no doubt in your mind whose child it was.

You didn’t mean to start crying, but once it started you couldn’t stop, the tears cascading down your cheeks as your shoulders shook with silent gasping sobs. Your doctor held you, letting your tears soak his shoulder as he ran a comforting hand up and down your back. From his reaction, you doubt this is the first time he’s comforted someone with news like this, afterall who wants to bring new life into a world like the one surrounding you now, it wasn’t a safe environment for children. 

Once you had calmed, the doctor pulled away and with a gentle voice started giving you the pregnancy spiel- avoid this, don’t drink that, try to eat more of this. All of it was a blur in your mind, shock clouding your thoughts. The doctor told you he estimated that you were about six or seven weeks in, which is when morning sickness tended to make an appearance. So he gave you a bottle of multivitamins to start taking as well as a chamomile and ginger tea that is supposed to help the nausea. He also gave you a small bag of honey and mint candies, saying he was a little worried about your lack of calorie and fluid intake over the last week, telling you to drink the tea and try and suck on a few candies until you thought you could hold down actual food. 

As you got ready to leave, your tote of goodies, as the nurse had called it, slung over your shoulder, the doctor gave your shoulder a reassuring squeeze and a small smile telling you, “Try not to worry too much, you’re in the best spot in the whole country to be going through something like this, and you aren’t alone, you have a whole town at your back. Not to mention the hardest fighter in town beside you.”

You returned his smile, though your’s was hollow and full of worry, and nodded. You wished the doctor and the nurse a good week and walked home, not stopping until you were alone in your bathroom sobbing as you slid down the wall in your shower.

---

Weeks passed and your nausea and morning sickness eased with the help of the tea which you drank in the mornings, smiling over the rim of your mug as Joel drank his coffee, always offering you some and you always declining. He never seemed any suspicious of your condition. He believed you that evening when you had told him a lie, told him that you had been right, that the doctor said it had been the flu making you sick. He didn’t question you when in the mornings after saying you were better you still drank the tea telling him you had really liked it and just didn’t want it to go to waste, when in reality you were still waking up with a queasy stomach each morning.

You aren’t completely sure why you continued to hide the pregnancy for Joel. He didn’t say it much, but he had told you that he loved you, he showed it to you almost daily through small things like bringing you fresh eggs when you mentioned a craving for cookies but you were missing that one ingredient, how he brought home you favorite food from the dining hall once you were finally able to hold down food again, how he surprised you with a gift yesterday- a small wooden bird carving he’d started for you when he noticed you’d been feeling down. He loved you, you knew this, and you loved him, but you were terrified of telling him. What if it changed how he felt? What if he didn’t take the news well?

You should know to ignore these doubts, you really should, but they cloud your thoughts anyway. Joel had already been through so much with his daughter, Sarah, and his adoptive daughter, Ellie. He’d long since confided both of their stories to you, he had told you how the death of his daughter had shattered him and how his cross country trip with Ellie had broken him back down once more. What if the pregnancy brought up all the bad memories and traumas for him? What if it was too much for him to go through the process of raising, caring, and protecting another kid?

That’s not even mentioning your own personal worries of the pregnancy. You knew Jackson was one of the safest places left, but that doesn’t mean that it is completely safe from the outside world. The town often had enough raids from hunters to remind you of that fact, and the hordes of infected wandering up north and getting closer to town were of no comfort to these worries either. And what about all the possible complications? Things could always go south and put you at risk. You could die giving birth, the baby could die, both of you could die. You both could end up as just another name on Joel’s list of loss. You didn’t want to be another source of pain for him, you didn’t want to hurt the man you loved like that. 

So you don’t tell him. You continue to smile at him over the rim of your mug each morning. You continue to live your life around Jackson like nothing is different and you live in fear of the day you can no longer hide yourself from the man you love.

---

Months pass and you continue working. You continued patrols with Joel and you kept putting on the facade that everything was fine and like there wasn’t a constant fight going on in your head. Joel of course ever observant gave you worried looks like he could see through your mask, but never brought it up nor asked you what was troubling you. It was tearing you apart being the only one that knew and unable to bring yourself to say anything. 

The nausea and morning sickness started to fade around the three month mark and you were truly overjoyed to not be waking up feeling ill each morning. But of course there had to be a downside. You only got another two weeks without the morning sickness before you noticed the thing that was going to be your undoing. 

You had been pulling on your jeans, getting ready for the day’s patrol- one of the longer routes and you’d be accompanied by both Joel and Tommy- only when it got to buttoning them, you couldn’t. You’d noticed them getting a little tight, but had hoped that you’d have more time. Luck had never been on your side however, so as you struggled with the button you could feel your heart in your throat as your panic started to take ahold of you. 

After several minutes you gave up, knowing your struggle was going to stay fruitless. Looking around your room for a solution, you paused on your spare pair of boots. As quickly as possible you dethreaded both sets of shoelaces and slipped them through your jean’s belt loops as many times as possible before tying the sides together and zipping the jeans closed as much as you could. 

After shoving your boots that still had their laces on, you raced downstairs and rushed out an apology as you slipped your coat on, the weather still holding its chill.

“Sorry I couldn’t find my warm sweater. Let’s go before Tommy starts complaining about us holding him up.”

Joel just shook his head with a fond smile, holding your bag out for you to take as you passed to leave the house. 

The walk to the front gate was quiet, the morning sun just gracing the horizon as you rubbed your hands together and slipped them into your pockets for your gloves which you hurriedly pulled on. Like you had predicted, once you reached the gate, Tommy stood next to his horse with his arms crossed and he spoke up as you and Joel approached, “What took you both so long? Coulda slept in in my nice warm bed if I’d known you’d be late.”

You rolled your eyes as Joel helped you up onto your horse and he replied, “Someone couldn’t find their warm sweater even though it was hanging right there in the closet.”

Gasping, you nudged Joel’s shoulder with the toe of your boot as he walked away, grumbling, “Just throw me under the bus why don’t you. See if I agree to go on anymore patrols with you two.”

Tommy laughs as he swings onto his own horse before leading the three of you out of Jackson and out towards your path for the day.

The three of you travel in silence for a little bit, you yourself enjoying listening to the early morning bird songs. Once you all get to the first sign-in point, you all take the chance for a pause and a stretch. You walk around the converted home, stopping to look through the bay window in one of the upstairs bedrooms. The room was clearly a kid’s room, the walls painted with fields and a barn and farmhouse surrounded by houses, cattle, chickens, and bison. The bed one of those that grew with a kid, going from cradle to toddler bed. Toys and stuffies long forgotten and scattered around the room. You leaned down and picked one up, a weathered build-a-bear wearing a pair of faux denim overalls and a red handkerchief. Gently you wiped the dirt and dust off the eyes, letting the black plastic shine once again. 

Without realizing it, one of your hands drifted down to lay on your lower abdomen as you swallowed heavily and your eyes start to water. But you don’t get too far, as a soft knock on the door behind you brings you back. Turning, you find Joel looking over you, eyes slightly worried as he holds out a small pack of dried fruit. You give him a small smile and set the bear down on the bed before grabbing the food, noticing the hand on your stomach, quickly laughing and patting the hand there saying, “You must have heard my stomach growl downstairs.”

Taking your lead Joel gave you a grin replying, “Thought there was a runner up here from all the noise it was making.”

You huffed a laugh, kissing Joel’s cheek as you walked back downstairs and let out a sigh of thanks to whoever let you get away that easily with such a terrible lie. But you didn’t dwell on it, the three of you hopping onto your horses and setting out on the trail once more. 

As you went this time, Joel and Tommy passed the time with conversation. You though just listened to them, eating the fruit Joel had given you and occasionally adding little input when prompted. 

Tommy made mention that the meat stores were running a little low and he’d been asked to try and catch a deer if he could. That led the two down a conversation over how the food stores as a whole were doing and if there needed to be any supply runs anytime soon. You however zoned out at this knowing they would probably get wrapped up in the conversation. Instead you looked around as you rode, both to keep an eye out for anything and to keep your mind busy. Not that it worked as your mind drifted.

You were starting to show and while it wasn’t too noticeable right now, it would only be a matter of time before nothing fit and you’d be forced to tell Joel, or he’d figure it all out himself. At this point you're worried over his anger at being left in the dark over this for so long as well, adding to the number of worries you already held. The doctor had told you on your last check up that all your stress and worrying was causing your blood pressure to raise and that worried him. He had urged you to take a break, to try and relax but you couldn’t, not when relaxing meant your thoughts would be given more time to circle and bring you more stress and worry. You just wished all of this would disappear, that everything was fine and you only had to worry about the usual things like hunters and infected. You hated yourself for it, because you had truly not wanted it, but in the beginning you had hoped and prayed that something would happen, that this would go away and you wouldn’t have to tell Joel. But here you are and you should have known that this child being part Joel meant it wasn’t going to give up, that it was going to be there no matter how hard they had to fight, and fuck did you already love the little devil, but the worry it brought left you breaking apart. 

Hearing your name shouted pulled you from your thoughts. Jerking your head you met Joel’s worried and confused look as he said, “Come on, Tommy is gonna go start a fire for us all to warm up an’ I spotted some deer tracks so you an’ me are gonna go see if we can find anything…..you good?”

Looking around, you noticed the three of you had reached the next sign in spot on the patrol route while you had been lost in your thoughts. Turning back to Joel you nodded before sliding from your horse and tying her up.

“Yeah, yeah I’m fine, just got a little lost in thought. Sorry.”

Joel just nodded slowly, his worried look not leaving, before he nodded his head to the right, saying, “The tracks lead this way.”

You nod, and grab your rifle from your shoulder, and start to follow after him, watching the tracks as the two of you go. It didn’t take long to catch up to the deer, the pretty female gazing on an open patch of grass only a fifteen minute or so walk from where you both had left Tommy and the horses. Quietly, both you and Joel looked through your scopes that the deer as she slowly stepped and ate at the patch of grass. You had had a clear shot, and were about to take it, knowing Joel’s own was blocked by a thin tree in front of him, but you paused when you saw movement next to her and that’s when you saw the small fauntling clinging close to its mother’s legs.

For some reason all of your worries came to a head as you saw the two together, and your hands shook as you put your rifle down. Joel turned to you confused as he had yet to notice the baby, so you just turned to him and shook your head and pressed your fingers to your lips before pointing to the deer and cradling your arms, signing to him that she had a baby with her. Joel took another quick look and sighed, putting his rifle down as well when he finally saw the fawn. 

The two of you started back to Tommy to tell him that the prints had been a dead end, but halfway back you couldn’t help but pause, and say, “Do you ever feel jealous of them?”

Confused, Joel turned to look at you where you stood and shook his head as he said, “What?”

You sigh and refuse to meet his eyes as you motion back to where the deer were, clearing your throat.

“The animals. Do you ever get jealous over how they aren’t chased after like we are, how they can’t turn into monsters that become murderous and hunt down the rest of their species? They just have to worry about running fast enough away from those of us that are living so they don’t become some terribly seasoned stew.”

Joel takes a step towards you, reaching a hand out to cup your shoulder, and says your name, “Where is this coming from? Does this have to do with what’s had you so stressed lately?”

You opened your mouth to reply, to brush it all away and just say nevermind, that it didn’t matter it was only a thought, but you met Joel’s eyes, the hazel swirling with concern and his voice laced with the need to help. In that moment every reply is lost to your tongue and your eyes swell with tears as you utter the words you’d been so terrified to share.

“Joel, I’m pregnant.”

The seconds ticked like hours as you realized you finally let the truth slip. As you watched the emotions filter over Joel’s face. Surprise, confusion, worry….wonder. His eyes danced around your figure as a single tear finally slipped.

“You’re sure?”

You nodded choppily and you gave him a timid smile.

“Yeah…turns out you were right months ago, it was never the flu,” you paused, taking a shuddering breath before continuing, “I…. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you sooner, I-I just didn’t know how and my head kept fueling all these ‘what ifs’ around my thoughts and I just didn’t know how to handle it but god I should have told you and I am sorry.”

Gently, Joel cupped your face and wiped away the tears that had fallen as you apologized. He looked at you like you had just whispered to him the secret cure to the infection, one that didn’t involve Ellie. 

Joel’s eyes bounced between your own as he asked, “How far….how far along are you?”

“Almost three and a half months,” you reply, your stress slowly fading to the background and slipping away.

Joel, as if he could see all of your doubts over the last three months, looks you right in the eye as he says, “You don’t have to worry anymore. Nothing will happen to either of you, not under my watch.”

Have an idea or headcannon you want written for Joel? My askbox is open! Feel free to send it to me! Thanks for reading and check out my other Joel fics! <3

Masterlist

[ffviidirtyconfessions]

Rebirth has thoroughly drained my enjoyment of the remake trilogy. I no longer feel obligated to try and play the games anymore. I don't even want to play ever crisis. And honestly that's the one I was looking forward to the most, because that was supposed to have a game version of Advent children. But it doesn't seem like it's going to happen because of how shitty and terrible rebirth has been. I waited years for that game, just this whole remake in general, and now I just feel so drained. I, myself, only got 20 hours into the game. Just 20, and I pre-ordered the game. It is safe to say that I will no longer be playing a final fantasy game unless I see play through that I like of it.

I really, truly feel your pain here. After all's said and done, I honestly feel like the best thing Rebirth gave me was the chance to see Advent Children on the big screen. This is coming from a person who's been putting off buying a PS5 until I see a game that's worth it on it. This wasn't worth it. So I can't even imagine what it's like actually having bought it.

Even in those first 20 hours, I'm sure you already experienced so much of what I find weird, offensive at worst, and just off-putting about this game. It extends everything to such a strange point, the opening Nibel Mountain sequence being the first offender of all. Everything takes so much time to do and yet gains so little depth, oftentimes less than the original game, which had limited space. It's an insanely huge game that turns out to feel mostly empty. There's constant "upgradable collectables" around every corner, even serious story relevant corners, a required card game, chocobo racing everywhere I guess, and don't even get me started on the Chadley world intel thing that was literally for some reason just ripped out of Zelda Breath of the Wild (????). It wants to be 500 different other popular games and stops being a Final Fantasy game.

The story, too, is just as distracted. It has what I might call "interrupting cow" syndrome. Nothing is allowed to just sit. You have to see the next flashiest thing right away, even if it feels emotionally dissonant from whatever just happened. Oh yeah, let us not forget the random DEAD MOBILE GAME PULL that takes up SO MUCH TIME????? WHO THE FUCK IS GLENN LODBROK ACTUALLY OR AM I JUST A BAD FF7 FAN BECAUSE I DON'T THINK I AM- ahem. This general problem worries me most in the places that matter most to me- specifically in that they seem to want to erase Cloud's mental illness. His memory problems are suddenly credited to "degeneration" instead of what it is, which is trauma, what they always implied it to be in the first place. This escalates as the half-baked Zack alternate timeline whatever thing continues. I genuinely think they are really hurting the story by downplaying (if not removing) the emotional cores of loss and trauma in favor of... fighting fate?? The multiverse??? Something?????

All around it feels like it needed way more time in development. It feels rushed while being completely bloated with "content". It doesn't even look very good 90% of the time. I feel like they barely got used to the PS4's tools only to be stage-hooked by Sony over to the PS5.

The ending in particular (don't know whether or not you figured out what they did with it so I'll avoid spoilers) leaves me wholly unenthusiastic for the next installment. And yet I feel I can't completely look away from it. Something about train wrecks makes me need to look at them, but I completely respect your decision to step away, especially when it comes to your own hard earned money and time. If it's any consolation, you're not alone in disliking this.

Apologies for the length of this post. Unfortunately, I am an English major.

[mmkin]

Hearth and Home (Get You Some Arlong)

Next chapter of Get You Some Arlong is now up... let us Arlong simps rejoice. Link to AO3 here, the chapter can also be found under the cut and the handsome pictures of Arlong. Enjoy!

Content warning - the chapter is NSFW/18+ but all intimacy is consensual. There is a serious injury - no one dies but there is mention of blood and wounds.

IX

A couple of notes and observations I have from watching the Arlong Park episodes (both anime and OPLA) I’ve enjoyed both versions of the Arlong Park arc, but as I was thinking about Arlong's tribute system, it left me wondering how people of places like the Conomi Islands manage to come up with the money to pay these monthly tributes.

In the anime, Arlong destroys the ships of the villagers and sinks Marine ships that come to fight him. So presumably places like Cocoyashi Village have no stable way of continuing to earn money. They would run out of cash and need to trade with one another for necessities. Arlong takes most if not all the money, and there does not appear to be an inflow of money from the outside of Arlong's area, at least none of which would reach the human villagers directly.

Tangerines may grow on trees, but money doesn't. Someone must have figured something out, but it’s never discussed AFAIK. And I’m one of these nerds who gnaws on little details from a show/movie/book/etc until I go near-mad over it, haha.

Also, Bellemere's sacrifice was unnecessary. (I refer more to the anime here as Bellemere had more wiggle room here compared to OPLA) I'm sure some people will hate me for saying this, but it was unnecessary for her to have opened her mouth because she had been given a perfect out by Genzo. I am sure the villagers would have been happy to support Bellemere in hiding Nami and Nojiko. There are historical records of various people going into hiding for years when facing persecution.

Instead, Bellemere cast her children into an uncertain future. She left the villagers on the hook for the tribute fees of two children (she had no way of knowing that Nami would have become part of Arlong's crew) and forced her children to witness the trauma of seeing her killed instead of keeping her mouth shut.

Lying about her family didn’t mean she didn’t care about them. Sometimes lying about someone’s existence was what kept them safe. In the past, people would hide escaped slaves, or unjustly persecuted fugitives and then pretend they didn’t exist when the authorities came sniffing around. It didn’t mean that the benefactors thought any less of the people they were covering for. It was simply pragmatic, and if Bellemere had been more pragmatic, a lot of grief could have been avoided all around. Just my two cents.

Not much a fan of Queen Otohime, either. I get that she wanted to bridge the gap between humans and merfolk, but she was too idealistic and didn't do as much good as she wanted to. Like, did she and her husband take a strong stance against slavery? Did they take measures to increase security around Fishman Island to prevent their people from being captured as slaves? And dumping orphans in the Fishman District and never giving them another thought, did anyone really think that problem would just solve itself?

Yeah, if I were a fishman or mermaid I’d be pretty upset, too. Of course, it’s nice that One Piece shows varying viewpoints, not just black and white, but it bothered me when Fukaboshi asked Hody what had happened to make him so hateful and Hody said ‘nothing’.

No no, it wasn’t ‘nothing’. Hody and his friends were very nearly kidnapped as children – thankfully Arlong showed up and kicked the ass of these would-be slavers. And honestly, if you’re a fishman seeing humans trying to kidnap fishman children, then I’d hope you feel at least a little pissed off. Or from Hody’s POV, some asshole humans tried to kidnap you and your friends to sell – that’d have to shake you up at least some. So as much of an asshole as Hody is, some of his anger was justified.

Also, if you come across a reference to 'The Breakfast Club', yes, I put that there on purpose, lol. Ok, that's a long enough author's note – kudos if you made it through that. On to the fic!

o0o0o0o

You sip your tangerine juice and lean back in your chair as you eye Buggy’s head idly when Chew sets it down on the table. The head is not quite as talkative, but then considering what he’s been through recently, you’d be pretty quiet too, probably. The clown has been through a wide range of experiences since being captured by Arlong. He’s spent most of his time in pieces, or when he’s intact, the seastone cuffs Arlong keeps on hand make sure he can’t use his Chop-chop powers. When his body hangs in the gallery, Arlong lets the other fishmen use him as target practice, which had Buggy wailing in dismay when he was allowed to see his body the next day, covered in splatters of paint.

The clown's head blinks as he takes in the morning light and then he registers your presence. You've not interacted with him much, but Buggy has paid attention – not that there's much else to do when one is a captive – and he understands who you are. He quickly looks around – doubtless to see if Arlong is around – before turning back to you. Chew sits down. Arlong is out for the day with some of his fishmen, collecting the tribute from a couple of nearby islands, so he’ll be back before the end of the day.

Since you were outed by Toma, you see little point in covering up at Arlong Park. Passing for human or male was something you preferred to do on missions or when traveling incognito was needed, but this place is your home now – the first place in a long, long time you’d call home. And you should be able to be yourself in your home if nowhere else. So you’re just sitting there in a swimsuit top and shorts.

“So, what did you bring me out for?” Buggy asks casually, seeing that the park is quiet. It’s just the three of you. “Chew taunts me while you watch? Not much of an audience this time.”

“Hmph," you snort. "You're a real showman, aren't you? And your Chop-chop jazzes things up, I bet." You sip your juice, your tentacles draped comfortably across the arms and back of the chair. Buggy perks up at your words, and Chew raises an eyebrow. You smile at Chew before returning your attention to Buggy. You're someone who prefers to live incognito. Even as Arlong's mate, you advise him behind closed doors, letting others think you're just Arlong's arm candy. Like a deep-sea squid, many do not see you until you're nearly upon them, if they ever see you. And here is one who is nearly the opposite of you.

“You’ve never seen one of my shows, have you? Such a shame.”

“I don’t know,” you say with a small sigh. “I mean, weren’t you holding Orange Town captive? A captive audience is…” You shrug, scrunching up your face. Chew smiles at that, behind the back of Buggy’s head. You blow a raspberry to punctuate your comment.

“Sometimes people need to be forced to sit down to appreciate what’s before them!”

“That’s an interesting mindset.” You look down at your nails. “Interesting doesn’t always mean good, though.”

“You could prove me wrong, then,” he says, staring at you with a pair of sea-green eyes that you will admit are attractive. (Nowhere near as attractive as Arlong’s azure eyes, though...)

“Well, I could put on a show for you. You’re the one in the position of power here, not me, toots. Put my head back on my body, and let me out of the seastone cuffs, and I’ll knock your socks off!”

You cross your arms at that, raising an eyebrow. On one hand, keeping Buggy captive constantly would wear on both him and Arlong, and even Chew. On the other hand, he’s still resistant at times, so none of you know if he will turn on Arlong the moment he has a chance to.

“How do I know this is not a ploy to escape?” you ask.

“Well, I’m on an island. One heavily populated by fishmen. I can send my parts flying, but not that far, not to another island.”

“Hmm.” You glance over at Chew, stroking your chin. “Arlong never did get to see a show either, did he?” you say, recalling Arlong telling you how the clown had been defeated by some kid in a straw hat. The two of you had a good laugh over that.

At that, Buggy’s smile freezes, and you smirk. “Hey, better than an audience of one, right? You didn’t think you were putting on a private show for me, did you?” You bat your eyes at him and Chew chuckles.

More fishmen watching also means more to take Buggy down if he ever tries something with his powers. Arlong has never allowed Buggy to perform at full capability, and well, you admit you're curious.

“Well, I can ask Arlong about it when he comes back. Besides, it’s not like I have the key to the seastone cuffs,” you add with mock chagrin. You know where they are, safely tucked away where Arlong left them, but there's no reason to mention that, is there? And Chew knows, too.

“But if you want to entertain me now, I’m not opposed to a good story or a joke.”

Buggy stares at you and then the tumbler of juice you have in your hand. Oh, how thirsty he must be. The Chop-chop fruit means his metabolism pauses if he's in pieces, so he doesn't need to eat. Nonetheless, you can see the poor thing’s lips are a touch dry.

“If it’s a really good one and Chew and I both laugh, you can have a few sips of my juice.”

Buggy glances upward while thinking of something that’ll get him some of that juice. You hold up the cup enticingly.

“A naked blonde walks into a bar with a poodle under one arm and a two-foot salami in the other…”

o0o0o0o

One of the things Arlong likes to do when he is in an especially devilish mood is to have you ride his thigh. He enjoys watching you getting all worked up and then trying to give yourself relief by rubbing yourself against his leg. At least this time he took off his shorts before he has you doing that and is sitting back in his chair, watching as you rock your hips against him.

You've never said it, but you know that he knows you enjoy his roughness sometimes. His dirty talk, the way he grabs you or holds you down, or gives you orders. He knows you have a difficult time cumming – if at all – when he tells you to ride his thigh, so he can watch you get all flustered and frustrated. If there's a glimmer of mercy in him during such sessions, he might decide to use his hand and help you, but right now he's just watching you with that smug smirk of his.

His erections are temptingly close, but you know you can't touch them – much less ride them – until he decides he's ready for that. Sometimes he might pump himself while you watch, so the entertainment is mutual. Your gaze drifts down to the thick pair of throbbing rods, starting lavender at the base and taking on an enticing red hue along the shaft, especially around the heads. Even now, you still on occasion boggle over the fact that Arlong has two of them, but you have no complaints when you think about how absolutely fantastic these shafts feel buried inside of you.

“Arlong…” you groan. You are close, and your hips snap in frantic rhythm as you bear down on him, feeling that gorgeous sharkskin of his against your pelvis and thighs.

“That's it. I know you're close… keep going. Good girl, yes, that's it. You're so wet and hot. Be a good little slut and cum for me, and you'll get to play with more than my thigh…" His hand reaches to touch your face, his thumb sliding against your mouth. Your lips part, and you bite gently down on him as you start keening. You're so close. So fucking close.

You look into his eyes and bite harder, pressing your tongue against his thumb as his words give you the push you need. A short moan breaks from your throat before your rhythm slows, your thighs shivering against him.

“I'm so proud of you," he purrs lecherously. "You worked so hard…" Damn right, he knows you worked hard for it – he was right there for every minute of it. That bastard.

He’s your bastard, though. He can spew out his obscenities, and grab you, and dominate and fuck you, and chortle over how you belong to him. All of that is yours. But as you also know very well, Arlong has more than that to offer, though few would know or suspect it.

He’s also your mate and partner. You bask in the purr of his voice as he speaks to you, your hips swaying against him slowly as he pulls his hand from your mouth.

“You have more than earned your reward. Come and get it." he wiggles his hips. You need no further invitation and straddle him as you lower yourself onto him, one cock sliding into you while the other one is nestled between your stomachs. You wrap a tentacle around it and ensure he gets both cocks stimulated at once.

It’s all too easy to lose yourself in his passion, and the park fades away as you ride him fiercely, his hands on your sides as he keeps you close, his cocks twitching against and within you as you moan out his name, tasting him as he pulls you in for a fierce kiss.

After he cums, you lean back, seeing the pearly mess that is smeared along both of your stomachs.

“You see the mess you made, little slut? Clean that up now,” he scolds, pointing to himself. You smirk at him but obediently disengage from him and kneel before him to lick the cum off him as he watches you, savoring the taste of his skin and the firmness of his stomach. You bat your eyes at him, or wiggle your tongue, making a little show of it as he relaxes in his chair.

“Mmm. Arlong…” you growl against him as you lick the last drop off him before playfully biting along the ridges of his abs. He smiles at that before you stand up, your front in full view, including your semen-splattered stomach. “Well?” you ask lightly, placing a hand on your hip as you look at him. His smile widens into a smirk as he raises his eyebrow. “Are you going to return the favor?” you tease.

“Does this dirty little slut want me to clean her up?” he asks in a drawl, resting his chin on a hand.

“Considering that you made your slut dirty in the first place…”

He rises from his chair, stepping out of the shorts he had bunched around his ankles. Even naked, he is an impressive sight, all muscles and sharp points and sheer strength. (Actually, one might argue that he looks even more impressive naked, all of his physical strength on display, every rippling muscle there for all to see, admire, or cower before) But you stand before him unafraid, his passion evident on you – not just the mess on your stomach, but the fading bite marks on your shoulder and thigh. (You know he will be marking you with fresh bites in due time)

He steps toward you with a playful growl. You giggle and step back, batting your eyes. Without another word, he pushes you into the pool, and you instinctively react before you’re in the water, whipping your tentacles out and hooking them around him. You drag him in with you, hearing his surprised but amused laugh.

That’s what he gets for messing around with someone with tentacles. Though you have to wonder if he had an inkling you’d do that if he gave you a reason to. You smirk at him as the two of you drift through the water, his hand sliding across your stomach to clean you up – and continues sliding along your body long after the fact.

o0o0o0o

Nami comes home from one of her missions, and you can tell something’s up.

Cocoyasi Village is free, but it is still surrounded by Arlong's territory, which has expanded in the years since Arlong and his pirates came to the island and his deal with Nami was made. Arlong still has more power over their lives than the distant World Government, and certainly more than the Marines, of which Nezumi and several others are in his pocket. (Arlong still has plenty enough towns to extract tributes from to cover all these bribes. More towns, more bribes, it seems the cycle doesn't end…) Even though Arlong has never officially announced Cocoyasi Village's freedom, word still gets out and over the last few months, several humans arrived at Cocoyasi Village, petitioning for citizenship.

Nami's deal with Arlong did not include newcomers – only existing citizens of the village at the time Nami bought its freedom, and any children they might have. This he is able to argue when Nami asks him to allow them to take up residency. And in this, you see where he is coming from. If people from towns under Arlong's control see Cocoyasu Village as a haven, then people will flock to the village, meaning Arlong loses tribute from these people, and the village will grow too rapidly. Arlong Village is a learning experience as word of mouth attracts more seafolk from a variety of walks of life and there are definite growing pains.

Nami glances at you. It was a surprise to her to finally learn that you are Arlong's mate, but you've since assured her that you remain friendly to her and she can come to ask you for help if she needs it.

… It doesn’t mean you’ll help her every time she asks for it, though. Much as you respect Nami, you are still Arlong’s mate, and Nami has a more secure place in this world as a human than you and Arlong do as fishmen. (which is how this whole thing started) Humans have most of the Red Line and so many of the islands. The tragic tale of Queen Otohime shows how much hatred persists in the world despite her efforts to make peace. So if a fishman wants to seize a bunch of islands for himself and his fishmen, what of it? Humans still have most of the world’s land.

“They will have to pay tribute,” Arlong says. “If they do that, they can stay in the village in peace.”

You know that’s as much of a concession as Arlong will make. These new humans can return to their home villages, or suck it up and pay tribute.

“I will let Genzo know," is all Nami can say. You wonder if these newcomers will be expected to pay on their own or if the village will pitch in and help – they certainly have more money sitting around without the old tributes to pay.

“Good girl," Arlong says, dismissing the redhead. He looks at you with a small smirk. You smile and shrug, though you can't blame Nami. After all, Arlong had been going to exploit a loophole to keep Nami bound. So if Nami saw a loophole she could use against Arlong, you certainly won't blame her for trying. "In the meantime, these Straw Hats?" Arlong says musingly. Buggy had mentioned them, and now Nami has run into them on her last mission.

“Worth keeping an eye on,” you say. It wouldn’t be the first small pirate crew that you or Arlong ever had to deal with, but you know from experience that once in a while, life likes to toss a nasty surprise at you.

o0o0o0o

You and Hatchan – who both can pass for human by hiding your extra limbs under clothing – are on a mission. This one called for gathering information directly from humans so you and Hatchan pose as partners – platonic or romantic as befits the situation – while gathering information near a marine base. It is outside of Arlong's territory, but as Arlong expands his reach, conflict with this base will be inevitable unless the right person can be bribed or threatened.

As you expect, the local tavern has quite a few Marines, so you buy a drink and sit there, listening to the conversations around you.

Unfortunately, shit goes sideways when someone starts a fight, and as luck would have it, a few rookie pirates come in, and it becomes much worse. All you can do is slip out as quietly as you can because you do not get involved in fights between humans.

Outside, you see a pirate ship that was not there when you went into the bar.

Yeah. This sort of thing usually doesn’t happen on the smaller islands, but as Arlong expands his territory and takes on bigger towns, it means bigger problems – hence the necessity of this mission and any information you can gather. Unless somehow the pirates and Marines can weaken one another to the point where Arlong can move in and take the spoils.

Guns are fired and there are a few explosions. More than one of the pirates is a Devil Fruit user. You're not dressed as a Marine or a pirate, but as a 'human civilian' you or Hatchan are not necessarily safe especially as there are multiple fights and you just want to get past them but you can't use your tentacles unless you want to out – and draw attention to – yourself, which would defeat the purpose of this mission. And as luck would have it, you catch several bullets that would have killed you if you were human.

Hatchan manages to get you out of there and back to Arlong, but you’re in considerable pain and there were moments you were not sure you would make it. You almost lose one of your tentacles because of a bullet that went through it. Arlong looks down at you as you lay there in the infirmary, Hatchan and the physician fussing over you, making sure your torso and tentacles are bandaged properly and you are comfortable before they leave you alone with your mate.

You lay there, high from the painkillers you were given. You're not quite sure how much time has passed. Even with the superior speed of a fishman, it took some time for Hatchan to get to Arlong Park, especially with having to take care of you as well, because you were in no condition to swim. You were in so much pain and half-mad from it that Hatchan was giving serious consideration to seeking out the nearest doctor, regardless of whether they were human or not. You managed to fish out the bullets with your tentacles and a dagger you carry with you, and oh fuck, did that ever hurt. Hatchan's not likely to forget your yowls when you were digging out the last bullet that was embedded more deeply in your flesh than the others. If he wasn't a fishman, you might have broken his hand with how hard you were squeezing it.

The drugs are such a relief. It still hurts some to move around, so you keep your body as still as you can, drawing in slow breaths and feeling the bandages around your middle.

Home sweet home. It’s not the homecoming you were looking for, but at least it seems like you’re out of danger and you can finally breathe easy (and so can Hatchan)

Arlong on the other hand… you’re not sure what you see in his eyes as he stares down at you. There is concern and relief for you, and anger that someone dared to hurt you in the first place. But there’s more than that, and despite how well you’ve come to know Arlong, it’s a mystery to you. You do find out about it soon enough.

o0o0o0o

“Hey, Y/n,” you hear Nami’s voice as you doze in the infirmary, several days after your homecoming. You’re recovering, and feel considerably better, but you are still weak from blood loss and dealing with multiple injuries.

“Oh, hi," you murmur. Though Nami didn't complain to you after Arlong made his decision about the newcomers to Cocoyasi village, you know that she thinks you should have said something. You're not going to hold it against her. Maybe it's from living around humans for periods of time before coming to Arlong Park, but this insight does help you advise Arlong. After all, it's this knowledge of yours that stopped Arlong from destroying his already-fraught relationship with Nami.

“How have you been?” you ask.

“Just fine. Sorry about what happened to you.”

All you can do is shrug. “You’ve had some close calls, didn’t you? And I know you’ve gotten worse than scrapes and bruises.”

“Not something that nearly killed me, though,” she says with some sympathy.

“It is what it is. It's good to see you though." You sincerely care for her welfare and even that of her sister and the town sheriff. You don't tell her that, though. Maybe she knows, maybe she doesn't. "Is there anything you wanted to talk to me about?"

You see the hesitation on her face, and you won't pressure her about it. "You can trust me. But, no worries either way. Hey, there's a birthday party coming up in a few days. Are you going to be there?" you ask, looking to change the subject to something more cheery. One of Arlong's most senior crew members has a birthday coming up soon, and you and Nami both know Arlong likes a good party.

“I don’t know. I’ve been to plenty enough of these,” she replies with a shrug. Oh, that’s right. Sometimes it’s easy to forget that Nami has had a quite difficult time here, especially in the first few years. One wouldn’t think that by looking at the way she moves freely around Arlong Park and the island or how she talks to Arlong or other fishmen, but you’ve picked up on bits here and there of the trauma she’s had to deal with here. The two of you exchange a few more friendly words before Arlong’s shadow fills the doorway. Nami sees you look up, and she turns to see her captain.

She and Arlong exchange a couple of polite words before he excuses her, and she slides past him. You can not help but smile a little as you look up at him, his presence is comforting to you. But then, he’s your mate. After your ordeal, all you want to do is be near him.

“What's a pretty little squid like you doing in a place like this?" he asks with a playful rumble as he pulls up a stool and sits next to you. You reach out, and he takes your hand in his own.

“Waiting for my sexy sharkman,” you reply. He chuckles.

“So the doctor says you’re coming along,” Arlong comments as he glances at the bandages.

“I certainly hope so,” you reply dryly. He grins at that and squeezes your hand. “I’ve been hurt, but never like this. I was actually afraid I’d never come home.”

“Home,” Arlong says quietly.

“What else could it be?” you reply. “You’re my mate, and this is your home, so it’s my home, as well.”

You see a rare glimmer of softness in his eyes and expression as he looks at you. He murmurs your name in a husky tone before leaning down to kiss your forehead.

o0o0o0o

By the day of the party, you’ve recovered enough to be out and about, though you have no plans to leave the island for a while. You’re content to simply walk around the island before the party starts, getting some much-needed sun and fresh air, stretching your legs after all that time spent in bed. You wiggle your tentacles, and all of them stretch out and dance as you command, except for one. It’s the one that took the bullet, and the doctor is not sure if the damage is permanent. It’s sluggish, especially beyond the wound.

All you can do is stretch and massage it, and now and then exercise it, trying to restore it to its full functionality. You don't want to think about what will happen if it never does. You try to count your blessings. At least you didn't get anything cut off. You're alive. You're with Arlong, home and safe, and you still have all your other fully-functioning tentacles to kick ass with. This is not the first crisis you've faced (although you certainly hope it will be the last!)

You get back to Arlong Park just as the party is getting underway, meat roasting on the spits as kegs and bottles are being set out for the guests.

“Enjoy your walk?” Arlong asks as you sit in the chair that is set for you.

“It feels good to be outside," you say. You still feel a little weak, but you no longer feel half-dead. And you feel nice in the dress Arlong gave you. He took it off one of the ships he recently captured and brought it down to the village where a fishman had set up a tailor shop, and had it altered to accommodate your extra appendages. It's a summer dress that once belonged to a privileged human female who will never see it again, and damn, you look good in it. The color suits you, the sequins are tastefully applied, and you are very well aware of the admiring glances Arlong sends you through the night. Arlong gives the birthday boy well wishes, and the food and drinks are passed out. Buggy is brought out, and Arlong unlocks the seastone cuffs.

You will admit, Buggy knows how to put on a show with his daggers and chop-chop ability. It's quite a treat for the birthday boy, and it's funny to think that hiring a clown or magician is something some humans sometimes do for children's parties, and here Arlong is, employing a clown to entertain a grown fishman who is nonetheless enjoying himself.

There's a bit of soreness in your stomach when you laugh too much, but otherwise, you're having a grand time. The show goes without mishap, and for Buggy's cooperation, you convince Arlong to let Buggy have some of the good food that's being shared by the fishmen and even a bottle of rum. You've become an effective good cop against Arlong's bad cop when the situation calls for it. The seastone cuffs go back on Buggy before he gets fed, but he gets to spend the night in his cell in one piece.

Devil Fruits may be a pain in the ass to a fishman, but you have to admit you see how some of them can be useful. And in this world, you can’t rely on just one thing to get ahead. Sure, Nami’s maps are wonderful, but you’ve nudged Arlong into diversification so that he focuses less on Nami and more on things that are truly more beneficial to the Arlong Empire. As you remind Arlong, there are better and more powerful men than Nezumi that he can manipulate, and the strength of a fishman is nothing to scoff at, but fishmen can still be captured and forced into slavery so the Arlong Empire needs weapons and technology of its own to augment the natural strength of the fishman race.

As the night winds down, you excuse yourself and for the first night in several weeks, you will be sleeping in Arlong’s bed. It seemed like almost another lifetime since you left the park with Hatchan to go on your mission. The nights in the infirmary were long and lonely, even in a drug-addled sleep.

You remove the dress, carefully folding and putting it away before pulling on a plain linen nightie and sliding into Arlong’s bed, feeling a wave of nostalgia and comfort wash over you as you stretch out in the bed you share with your mate. The sheets are freshly laundered and you bury your face against your pillow, inhaling the crisp scent.

It’s not long before Arlong comes upstairs, and you watch through half-lidded eyes as he removes most of his clothing, sitting at the side of the bed in his shorts. He’s a handsome sight from the back as he runs his fingers through his hair, and you lean up to kiss the side of his fin.

“Mmm. The sight of your bare back and fin is a most pleasing one, Arlong,” you purr as you kiss his shoulder several times before you lay back down. He turns and grins at you, obviously happy to have you back in his bed. You know it hasn’t been easy for him, having you close but having to restrain himself for your well-being. You’re still a bit sore, but as long as Arlong is gentle, you’re happy to accommodate him because let’s be real, you’ve been wanting him, too.

Arlong would sometimes sit with you in the infirmary if he was going over his ledger or had correspondence to go through. It was nice to know that he looked for work he could do near you and sometimes you’d just watch him for a few minutes as he stared at the page intently. At least that was better than hearing him roar at various fishmen outside over small irritations. He’s already quick enough to anger, but the stress caused by his worry over you causes him to be even pricklier than usual around his subordinates. You know the fishmen have been hoping you’d recover fast and put Arlong back in a better mood.

He draws close to you, gathering you up in one arm as he looks down at you. You hum contentedly and cuddle against his chest.

“It has been lonely up here without you,” he growls gently into your ear.

“Do you think I haven't been lonely?" you scold him lightly. He chuckles and his other hand rests on your hip. You wiggle against him, and he takes the cue, his hand pulling up the material of your pajamas to reveal the fact that you're not wearing any panties. "I only ask that you be gentle with me. I'm still healing," you whisper.

“It will not be easy,” he says as he growls and nips along your jaw. “I’m quite pent up.”

“I would appreciate it,” you coo at him. “I promise, you can be rough when I’m fully healed.”

He grins at that, and you know he’s going to hold you to it. But in the meantime, he honors your request, soothing the ache in you that was caused by time away from him and exacerbated by your injury and recuperation.

I love you, Arlong. You want nothing more than to whisper that to him after your session. You moan quietly and arch against him as he slides his hand down there, rubbing a finger along your slit, where his cum is oozing out.

“Mmm. I love filling you with my seed,” he says as he nuzzles and kisses your shoulder and arm, being careful with his nose. His finger continues to gently tease your slit, sliding up and down it, and on occasion, pushing his finger inside, as if he’s trying to push back the cum that’s leaking out of you.

“I know,” you reply with a satisfied purr. Out of the two of you, you are certain Arlong enjoys sex more. That doesn’t mean you don’t enjoy it nearly as much as he does. And how could you not? This man is your mate. You were his from the first moment he laid eyes upon you at the Baratie regardless of whether he was conscious of that fact at first.

“I’ve been doing some thinking while you were recuperating,” he states conversationally, his hand continuing its lazy ministrations. “You know you are very dear to me.”

“I do not doubt that, Arlong." You reach up to touch his face.

“I want you to stay on this island unless you accompany me somewhere," he states. You stare at him for a moment, absorbing his words.

“What about missions?” you ask softly.

“No one can fault the fine job you have done, but we have more people here now who can get closer to humans, including mermaids. I do not wish to risk losing you, and there is much of value you do here at Arlong Park already, and I don't just mean the sex," he clarifies with a twinkle in his eye, "As a member of the Arlong Pirates, consider this a promotion."

You're flattered, and you're not surprised that Arlong is being possessive and protective. After nearly losing you, of course, he doesn't want to take any risk of that happening.

“There’s something else I would like from you,” he says softly, and he is staring at you with hunger, his hand still down there, caressing you.

You wonder what it could possibly be. You've given him all of yourself. Your body, your skills, your loyalty, your wisdom, and advice. Your love. “What is it?” you ask.

“A child.”

[migosis]

One story, six prompts (erik killmonger x reader short)

i came out of retirement and challenged myself using prompts from @eye-raq's post here.

Synopsis: Erik is getting serious with a girl who is scared to love him b/c of past trauma. What happens when he breaks her trust?

masterlist

------

You were in the kitchen preparing a snack before you sat down to watch television. The distraction of being entertained by drama that wasn’t yours was exactly what you needed this evening. Even though this was your second time watching Insecure, you still couldn’t decide if you were Team Issa or Team Molly. Your phone chimed, notifying you there was motion detected on your front door step and moments later you heard a few knocks. You scoffed once you saw the footage of Erik waiting impatiently, checking to see if there was a key under a planter nearby. You barely cracked the door open before walking back in the house towards the kitchen. You heard him smack his lips, but you were genuinely unconcerned in the moment about his frustration. He was hot on your tail following you into the kitchen where you faced away from him and continued cutting your pineapple.

“I don’t like being hung up on, that’s some grimy shit.” He declared.

“Unfortunately for you Erik, I dont really give a fuck about what you like right now. I told you I wanted space so I’m not sure why you’re here.”

“Y/n, that was 4 days ago. I'm tired of this, all you do is shut down. It would be one thing if you actually moved on, but you're still mad about the same shit four days later. Like where does that leave me?"

"I don't know." You said nonchalantly. 

"See this what the fuck I be talking about. Is this a relationship or not?"

"Erik, I don't know what you want from me.”

"I want you to stop fucking running and talk to me so we can get past this. I want more than this, I’m tired of playing games."

"I don't want to get past it. I just want to be heard. And clearly you couldn't do that so I hung up."

"Babe, I heard you. I told you I was sorry and I even understood where you was coming from. I told you how I could’ve handled it better, but why am I the only one that has to be accountable? You went thru my phone and found something you shouldn't have been looking for in the first place. Why you can't admit that? Why you can't admit that you didn't trust me in the first place?"

"Erik, stop. I really don't wanna do this." Here you were trying to stave off the immense emotion you felt in that moment. You could place it, but your chest was tight, palms hot, and you used the back of your hand to stave off tears that threatened to fall. 

Erik's chest ached when he heard your voice crack. He hated to see you cry, and even more for him to be at the source of it. He was truly apprehensive in trying to soothe you. He knew you were asking for space, but who else was going to do the work of soothing you and earning your trust back. In a group chat, his friends commented on y/n’s “standoff-ish” demeanor and implying that she was insecure in her looks and suggested that he could do better. Y/n’s heart sank when Erik did not defend her, but only replied insisting they mind their business and making several jokes about their failed relationships. 

He stepped closer from behind. He placed his hand over yours gently, prying the knife out of her and sitting it down.

"Listen y/n, this love shit is scary as hell but I'm willing to accept it. Are you?"

Love? You questioned internally, had he meant to say that. It felt unreal, but not unreal enough for you to deny it. When you thought about how Erik treated you, you could tell he loved you. And even though you had labeled the relationship you and him had kindled everything else under the sun it was only in this moment you realized what you two had cultivated was love. 

Even despite this realization, some wounded part in you needed to push back. "Erik, I don't think you know what you're saying." You shook your head. You could feel his hands around your waist now, making you tense up. But when he rested his head on your shoulder, you began to breathe again. If you could so casually let him in, it also meant that letting him go wouldn’t be so easy. You needed to make a fight, construct walls, not allow yourself to get used to his love because the love you were used to was unstable, unreliable, and unsafe. In reality Erik had been the opposite of all of those things to you, so this was the moment you understood the problem all along was not that you needed to let him in like he’d been pleading for. You needed to let you out. This solitary confinement was making your love for Erik complicated. It was making his love for you hard, while it could be so easy. His love truly swept you up and held you tight. It was hard to breathe his air, but with all of these realizations flooding your mind, you know you could not keep suffocating yourself with burdens of the past or concerns of the future.

His lips found your neck and he promptly turned you around to face him. Gently, he brushed away the tears that spilled down your cheeks.

"You know how I feel about you, it's already apparent. Please don’t cry baby."

He kissed you again and your hand grabbed onto the front of his shirt holding him there. You pulled him deeper into your mouth. Tasting him again felt amazing and the way his hands grazed your hips made you want him in other ways. You hummed into his mouth out of pure impulse. When you pulled away, you turned leaning over the counter and pressed your backside into him. You grinded against him, tempting him to palm your ass. His hand continued up your back, grabbing you up against his chest by your ponytail. She quickly went to untie the elastic on her pajama shorts and pull them down but Erik's hand stopped her. 

"Wait."

"What?" She questioned as he stepped back from her painstakingly slow.

"Erik c’mooon." She whined at him. Once she actually looked back at him, she could see the pensive look he had on his face which made her fill with concern.

"Sex isn't going to make this go away.”

"I know that, Erik." She nearly rolled her eyes, but she was trying her best to be earnest.

"I want you to talk to someone baby.”

Off rip, you were immediately embarrassed at the thought of him telling you that you needed some type of help. 

“I’m not ready for that yet.”

“Well you’re not talking to me and I’m trying to stay together, so am I worthy enough to change your mind?”

“Can you be flexible? How about we talk to someone?”

“Couples therapy? I never thought I’d need that corny ass shit.” He muttered the last part quietly. “But I love you and I know you do too, so you’re really gonna have to convince me otherwise.”

It was hard to bring yourself to say those words so you simply stated. "I do." He smirked and lifted you on the counter. He looked you over and told you how much he missed you. He kissed you, his tongue delving into your mouth. You held his scruffy jaw, beckoning him closer to you. You barely flinched when his hand crept around your neck, and finally found home grasping your chest.

"I thought you said no sex." You said breathlessly.

"That was before, now I'm about to make love to you."

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taglist: @hearteyes-for-killmonger @loveeeeandaffection @iamrheaspeaks @adasosweet @goddessofthundathighs @thiccdaddy-mbaku @nahimjustfeelingit-writes @eye-raq @madamslayyy @sweeter-thejuice @wawakanda-btch @theunsweetenedtruth @wokeblock @smutty-smut-smuty @wakandamaybe @stainontheground  @killmongerkink @soufcakmistress

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

This happened a while ago but it's been bothering me.

In high school, my best friend (Hayley) and I briefly dated after we A: realised we weren't straight and B: had romantic feelings for one another. We didn't tell anyone about it at the time, and due to the circumstances behind her breaking it off, it just. Never came up with friends. It was a little on again off again for years due to her issues around commitment and vulnerability, and eventually I put my foot down and said I was over her and just wanted to be friends, nothing more.

Around this time, a mutual friend set her up with a friend of her boyfriend. I was the last one to find out in our friend group that she was dating Tim, and only really because she asked for permission to tell Tim that we had dated, because they were starting to get serious.

At this point in time, we were all about 23, so it had been over 5 years since we'd been romantically involved. Everyone in our friend group knew we were queer, but we weren't out publicly yet, and they still didn't know about Hayley and I dating. But I still agreed because I understood her wanting to be open and honest with him.

Fast forward a year and Tim cheats on her with his ex-girlfriend. I won't go into details about how messy this was, because a lot of it is personal to them, but the relevant part is that Tim justified this to his friend group by telling them that he'd done it because he was upset about Hayley doing it first.

He tells them all that Hayley and I had dated, naming me in the process, and lies that we (Hayley and I) slept together on a recent girls trip. We find out because one of his friends is a mutual friend's boyfriend, and suddenly all hell breaks loose because our friend group finds out Hayley and I dated, and both of us are not only outed, but rumours start spreading about us cheating.

It's important to note that I'm asexual, and have some trauma around being discussed sexually that I hadn't fully dealt with at the time. Tim never apologises to me for any of it, Hayley jokes to me on the phone while in tears that it's particularly ridiculous because I'm asexual, and the two of them get back together.

Here is the messy part. I don't bring up how I'm feeling, because I'm more concerned about Hayley's feelings, for various reasons, and I have a very strong people pleasing streak that I also had not dealt with at the time.

Fast forward two years and I am suddenly unpacking all this trauma, while also dealing with a lot of personal turmoil. My friendship with Hayley has become more and more strained as we grow and change as people, and I begin to realise that we haven't really been the same around each other for a while now.

This culminates in Hayley messaging me one day to say that she and Tim are engaged, and I, caught up in what was going on at the time (and I was also at work), don't immediately reply - partially because I'm figuring out how to word a reply I don't actually mean. Except I forget to respond and later that night, she messages me and essentially tells me not to bother.

I give her space, as she told me not to message her, and then she messages me two weeks later angry about me not contacting her. I am dealing with a lot that I'm not getting into here, including a court case and a death in the family, but finally I decide to just come clean.

I message her and apologise for not responding sooner. I explain that I'm still unpacking a lot of my own problems and trying to figure things out, and I'm realising that I haven't been comfortable around Tim since the incident happened. I explain that I don't hold it against her at all, because I didn't voice any of this at the time, but it also isn't something I can ignore. I explain that I feel like we've both been trying too hard to maintain a friendship that just isn't working anymore. I tell her that I would never ask her to put a relationship aside for my sake, especially with our history, and I don't want to put her in an unfair situation by making her feel like she's having to balance the two of us, but neither do I want to put myself in an unfair situation by continuing to ignore my own feelings about him and the entire debacle.

So I tell her, point blank, that I still care about her, but we've grown apart, and I think the healthiest solution is to end our friendship. I wish her the best with Tim and explain that this isn't anyone's fault, it's just that we were already growing apart and with everything that's happened, I don't think that our relationship is repairable.

Since then, I've not had much contact with the extended friend group for similar reasons, though I'm 90% sure they've sent a gift basket for my last two birthdays, they haven't attached a name or said anything about it.

I still feel terrible about the entire situation and sometimes doubt if I did the right thing, or if there was a better way of handling things. So. AITA?

What are these acronyms?

[anistarrose]

okay serious inquiries now, i wanna hear about the adopted ango fic and freak4freak4freak4freak 👀

(WIP meme here, still taking asks!)

thank you once again, fex! I feel like I've mentioned the Lucretia adopts Angus fic to you before, it's the one where she raises him on the Bureau and he even gets to have an ambiguously evil Red Robe uncle (who is allowed to give him piano lessons, because Lucretia is a total softie).

more relevant to the only writing I've completed, though, is the way THB meet Angus on the Bureau, and Angus actually sneaks off to get on the Rockport Limited with them once he hears there's a murder mystery in play. Lucretia obviously panics about this, because she does not want her son getting anywhere near a Relic — and this Angus & Taako scene is dealing with the fallout. the writing's old and there's stuff I'd change but the skeleton of it holds up, IMO. bit of outsider-looking-in on Ango and Lucretia's relationship:

Taako raps on the door to Angus’s room, trying not to sound neither too threatening nor too invested. “Hey, it’s, uh — it’s cha boy. Taako. Can I… come in?” “Whatever,” Angus sniffs, which is…  Well, Taako hasn’t known Angus for long, but that doesn’t sound at all like the polite, oddly mature little pipsqueak Taako’s gotten so used to seeing around the Bureau. He really is upset. Shit.  Taako wishes he could just send in the big armored teddy bear instead, ‘cause Magnus might comfort the kid with some actual success — but of course, Taako had to be the only one loitering to hear two distinct voices being raised in the Director’s office. To see Angus bolting out of a debriefing with his actual mom, covering his face with his hat and making a mad dash for his bedroom across the quad. Angus clearly loves his mom, and the Director clearly loves her kid. Taako never got any bad vibes from either — just vibes of a weird kid, in the care a parent with a weird enough job, that things cancelled out and everyone’s weird, weird needs got met. In a way he’d never admit, it actually made Taako kind of jealous. But Angus is upset, probably shedding tears, over the debriefing-turned-argument that Taako didn’t mean to overhear — So he opens the door, and steps into Angus’s room.

Angus has trauma and it's causing him to catastrophize about the argument, worrying his Mom will send him off the Bureau to keep him safe and he'll lose the only family he has. so Taako kind of clumsily, uncomfortably, tries to reassure Angus — that because "the Director" cared enough to adopt him, she would never throw him out for nothing.

but then... Angus spills the beans. the Director has "a brother" who definitely isn't bio-related to her, but the adopted nature of their family doesn't keep them from having an extremely terse relationship that they only even keep that civil for Angus's sake. so Angus is very scared that if two people he thinks are good people could have chosen to be family once, but then turn out Like That, then who's to say the same won't happen to him?

obviously, Taako isn't even getting the "evil Red Robe" piece of information in the story — but even so, he just has no idea of how to respond to that.

*

also, freaky found family! that was the one I was actually writing most actively before work picked up, but you can expect me to finish it as soon as I'm unemployed again if not sooner lmao. it's BLT Trio plus Kravitz (or Reaper Squad plus Taako, if you prefer) hurt/comfort and cuddling, but it starts out with house hunting fluff:

Kravitz sniffs the air, in the direction of the charred crater in the wall. “Is it just me, or is there, like… a smell coming from the Hole? I mean, we agreed the house is probably on the market because of the Hole —” “Yeah, oh, completely. But the — the Hunger smell? Dav figured out a couple days back that baking soda can handle it.” Barry puts his hand on his hip, shaking his head and smiling. “Never had to figure that one out before, the way things were, but — but good ol’ sodium bicarb, turns out that does the trick —” “Oh, good,” Kravitz says. “I have lots of that on hand to deal with zombies.” “Ah, mix it into your salt circles, right?” “Obviously. I like a three-to-one ratio. Does the job, and cost-effective.” “Man, they should — uh, they should pay you to go on baking soda commercials.” “I’ll keep that in mind, Barry.”

[dantegreaves00]

And Hell Followed - A Far Cry 5 x FtM Reader series Part One

Deputy Y/N Jackson is in the middle of a Holy War in Hope County Montana. Originally sent to arrest Joseph Seed he ended up becoming the leader of the Resistance, but the deputy has a secret. A secret that only Whitehorse knows. When his younger brother and sister show up one day out of the blue, Y/N finds out that his own personal hell has found him. Now with the help of the very people he was supposed to stop can he save his family and himself?

I know this summary sucks.

Anyway I hope you enjoy this slow burn series

Trigger Warnings

Mentions of past child abuse

Mentions of past child SA

Mentions of SA

Stalking

Guns

Drugs

Religion bashing (the Deputy has religious trauma)

Religious trauma

Transphobia

Homophobia

Angst

Tag list

@gamergirl-06 @capriskunk @transpanda07

---------------------------------------------------

Hope county Montana, was in the middle of a war between the Resistance and Edens Gate and me? I was just the new junior deputy assigned with the task of arresting Joseph Seed but ended up becoming the leader of the Resistance.

As I made my way towards the jail where Whitehorse was waiting for me, my mind drifted to thoughts of my brother Elijah and my sister Ava.

Were they ok? Did they have enough money to buy food and clothes? Were they wondering why I hadn't come home?

Before I could work myself up over thinking, Whitehorse's gruff voice called out to me over the radio.

"Rookie, listen, there have been reports of all the Seed siblings being spotted near the river bank, could you find out if the reports are true and if so find out what they are up"

"Copy that Sheriff, I'll start heading there now"

••Timeskip••

I had managed to get to the river undetected and it turns out the reports were correct. In front of me stood the Seeds, John and Joseph were by the waters edge with fishing poles, Faith was sitting in a chair reading what looked to be a copy of the Book of Joseph and Jacob, well he was standing a little further away from them, almost like he was keeping watch.

I was about to sneak away back to where I had left my car to radio Whitehorse when Jacob turned his head in my direction.

For a moment it seemed as though he hadn't seen me, but who was I kidding, this was Jacob of course he had seen me. The thought of making a run for it crossed my mind but before I could will my feet to move he started to approach me and fear kept me still.

"What do you want Deputy?" He asked me once he was close enough to be heard.

" I was just taking a walk when I spotted you and your siblings, I was just gonna go, I'm not here to fight" I said half lying.

Suddenly Joseph approached us and gave me a look that was slightly unnerving.

"Is there a problem here brother?" He asked in that overly calm voice of his.

"Apparently the Deputy was taking a walk when he spotted us"

"Look I'm not here to fight I was just in the area when I saw you guys, I'm just gonna leave"

All the commotion caused John and Faith to look in our direction and for a split second I was back in the church.

"I see my child, why don't you stay for a while, if you truly were just on a walk surely you're tired" Joseph said as he guided me to where John and Faith were waiting.

"I suppose I could stay for a bit but any of you try something and I'm gone" I said as I took a seat next to Faith.

It was strange seeing them act like normal siblings, John and Joseph went back to fishing and Jacob started up a fire. Faith was lost in her own little world, the book still open on her lap but her eyes were closed.

Suddenly a mountain lion came from out if the bushes and pounced on John.

It was Peaches.

Before she could do some serious damage I whistled and she came trotting to me.

"Shit sorry about that John, Peaches here is very protective of me, she must have seen me with you guys and thought I was in danger" I said whilst stroking her head.

"That over grown house cat ripped my vest Deputy, but luckily she didn't draw blood so I guess it's fine" John sighed in frustration as he inspected his vest.

"Where did you even come from girl, I thought I left you with Sharky?" I asked the cougar, who's upper body was now pressed firmly against mine, like she was trying to shield me from danger.

"She is pretty" came Faith's siren like voice as she approached me and Peaches, who surprisingly tilted her head towards Faith's hand for a scratch.

"How did you train a cougar Deputy?" Jacob asked as he checked John out for injuries.

"I don't know, I helped Mable bring her home one day and then suddenly i was told to keep her, I also have a bear" I replied with a chuckle causing Jacob's eyes to widen slightly.

"A real Noah with wild animals then my child" Joseph said as he brought one of the fish he caught over to where the fire was still roaring.

Peaches eventually got off of my lap and stretched her front paws out in front of her, letting out a loud yawn she curled up by the fire and went sleep.

"And this is why I'm a dog person" I said causing Peaches to huff and roll closer to the flames.

••Timeskip••

The sky was getting dark and the fish were no longer biting. Peaches had wormed her way onto John's lap and he looked like he was about to shit himself whilst Faith was feeding her bits of fish.

Me and Jacob were talking about hunting and Joseph was staring out into the distance, a blank look on his face.

"Well, it's getting late I should head to the jail, Whitehorse is probably wondering where I am" I said as I got up to leave. Peaches finally got off of John's lap and came over to me when she noticed that I had gotten up.

"Well my child, this has been a wonderful afternoon, and I hope that you enjoyed yourself" Joseph said as he stuck his hand out for me to shake.

"Surprisingly, I actually had fun with you guys today, this doesn't mean I'm interested in joining the project tho" I said as I shook his hand.

"That is understandable, I do hope that we can come to some agreement in the future my child" he replied as Jacob came to stand next to him.

John and Faith also came over to say their goodbyes, Faith gave Peaches a scratch behind her ear before engulfing me in a hug which I awkwardly reciprocated.

After saying goodbye to everyone I started heading towards my car. Peaches climbed in the passenger seat and I sped off towards the jail.

••Timeskip••

Once I was safely back at the jail I went looking for Whitehorse to tell him what happened.

I eventually found him in the infirmary where he was checking on members of the Resistance that had been brought back out of the bliss.

"Hey Whitehorse can I talk to you real quick?" I asked as I made my way over to where he was standing.

"Rookie, shit kid I thought something bad had happened to you when you didn't check in" he said as he pulled me in for a hug.

"What did you want to talk about?"

"I just spent the afternoon with the Seed family, I was spotted by Jacob and well long story short I am currently questioning all of my life decisions, it was strange seeing them act like a normal family" I said as he handed me a coffee.

"You're not..." Whitehorse began to say before I cut him off"no don't worry I told them that just because I had a good time doesn't mean I'm switching sides"

"Well good, why don't you get some rest Rook and I'll make sure no one disturbs you"

Saying goodnight, I made my way over to one of the unoccupied cells and layed down for the night.

[ashintheairlikesnow]

Oh, oh, you know what I'd love to see some time? Kauri getting an electric shock from a domestic appliance or something. It doesn't need to be serious, we just know how much he hates getting shocked 👀

"You need a new toaster."

Jake looks up, rubbing a hand over his face, blinking where he sits on his bed in a pair of pajamas pants. Things are blurred and bleary, it's too early for this on one of the few days he doesn't have class. Still, though - he can't help but feel a little... happy, maybe, to hear Kauri's voice. "What...?"

"Your toaster's fucked up." Kauri has it in his hands, gripped white-knuckle tight. Jake reads in his appearance the story of his night - his hair is a mess of black curls, there's dark circles under the bright blue eyes, he's still wearing clothing he had on two days ago, the last time Jake saw him.

His shirt is on inside out. Whose cologne will be smell like if Jake gets close?

There's a twist of something odd and sharp in Jake's chest. "... Our toaster is fucked up?"

"Yeah. It... It's broken. It shocked me. When I plugged it in." Kauri dumps the toaster on the floor in Jake's room, and Jake winces as he watches ancient crumbs scatter everywhere as it tips on its side.

"... And you brought it up here because..."

"Because it's broken. You should get a new one. I wanted to tell you." Kauri's voice is short and sharp, Jake can see his eyes are a little too wide. He crosses his arms and Jake thinks it looks like he's hugging himself, trying not to be obvious about it. "It's a stupid toaster. It hurt me. It-... It shocked me, and-"

"Yeah. I'll handle it, I will. But, are you okay?"

"What?" Kauri looks... uncomfortable and surprised. "I'm fine."

"Yeah, but. You said it shocked you?" God, he's too tired to think. Jake leans into instinct instead. "Like electric shock?"

"Yeah. Just. A little one, but..."

Silence draws out between them. Jake rakes a hand back through his hair, and then pushes himself to his feet. If Kauri's eyes drop to Jake's bare chest down to his stomach and the waistband of his pants, Jake doesn't notice. Or he pretends not to, anyway. There's a Tshirt on the floor, and he pulls it on over his head. "Yeah, but... Still. Are you okay?"

"I'm not hurt-"

"That's not what I'm asking. Kaur, you used to be shocked, before. Even if you're not hurt..." He looks back down at Kauri. "That doesn't mean you're okay."

Kauri's smile fades for just a second - then it's back, but brittle this time. "I'm always okay."

"No, you're not. Kauri, I just wanted to know if you need to talk-"

"Absolutely the fuck not. I just came here to get some breakfast, not get trauma interrogations at six in the morning."

"I'm not interrogating you-"

"Then take 'i'm fine' for an answer for once."

Jake's mouth opens and then closes again.

Kauri's smile is small and vicious. "Like I said. Buy a new toaster."

"Kauri, just-"

Kauri disappears from the doorway and is halfway down the stairs before Jake can get out of his room.

"Kauri, wait-"

The front door closes and Kauri is gone.