#hi!!! I'm still alive and in korea!

[soft-daes]

Happy Chen Day!!

[expatesque]

Trying to figure out why the man I'm house exchanging with in Barcelona has his PA organizing things with me so I Google his name, turns out he's a famous YouTube/Instagram chef in Spain 😂

[lilhwahwa]

ATEEZ Reaction: You can't fall asleep (MATZ. ver)

★|•°∵ Scenario: Your boyfriend reacts to you not being able to fall asleep.

★|•°∵ Idolbf!matz x nonidol!reader

{PICS NOT MINE / FROM PINTEREST}

MASTERLIST

Hongjoong

Hongjoong wasn't expecting you to answer his message at this hour. He never really did. The good night messages with information about his well being was at this point nothing more than an automatic thing he'd do to remind you he was alive and well, even when buried in his dark studio, far away from the warm bed you were probably sleeping in.

Goosebumps spread over his skin at the thought of relaxing deep into your soft mattress. The scent of your detergent on your sheets would almost always knock him out, with the help of your warm body pressed to his of course. The company had been nice with letting him come over to your place, merely warning him to be cautious when staying over and thus far you hadn't gotten caught.

But the past few months had been more than hectic. With continuous trips in and out of Korea and a comeback, the only piece of your boyfriend that you got during this time was a text message or on rare occasions a video call. You knew of course, getting into the relationship what it would mean, but it is easier said than done. Once you got to have him in your bed, the greed inside you would never again let any sleep satisfy you unless you had him by your side and thus you developed irregular sleeping patterns.

The second Hongjoong sees the delivered receipt turn into read, his eyebrows furrowed. Had he woken you up?

"That's so cute:( I'm still awake though" you'd write.

You knew how he struggled with expressing his emotions sometimes and him having the safety of you being asleep somewhat eased his anxiety when sending you the good night texts. Tonight you were wide awake though.

"You're not asleep?"

"Nope..."

"Can I call?"

But before he could, you were already reaching to dial his number on video call.

When he picked up you were met with a barefaced Hongjoong, sitting back in his studio chair with an oversized shirt on. He smiles softly when he sees your poorly lit face in the darkness of your bedroom, making the large frames on his face shift. The only thing lighting your side of the call up was your phone screen.

"Can't sleep, baby?" he asks knowingly, looking over the way your eyes only managed to open half way, heavy with exhaustion yet your brain couldn't seem to shut off.

"Mhm" you hum, pouting slightly and although Hongjoong couldn't see it, he knew your every expression.

"Want to work with me?" he asked already knowing the answer, finding something to lean his phone against as he positioned the camera so you could see him well. The studio was dimly lit, giving Hongjoong's skin a soft glow. How you wish you'd be with him, even just sitting on the hard-cushioned couch in the corner of his studio would be enough. Maybe he'd let you sit on his lap if you complained about the couch hard enough. You sigh and imagine how warm his skin would be if he was sleeping next to you. Watching his eyes flicker to the computer you adjust your position, putting your phone against the pillow he would usually have if he was to sleep over.

He knows not to keep you talking, it would only disturb your sleep more. Instead he talks to himself in a soft voice as he tells you about what audio he needed for the section he was currently working on or randomly tell you something a member said. He didn’t expect an answer, your presence was good enough. The sound of his mouse clicking on multiple samples and his voice humming a melody he wanted to create soon became a soothing song for you to fall asleep to.

Even after you'd finally fall asleep, Hongjoong kept the video call on, glancing your direction here and there as an encouragement to finish work faster so he could get a day or two free for you.

Seonghwa

When your boyfriend invited you to sleep over for the first time, you were initially excited to finally spend such close time together. You had been dating for just over a month but with him having tight schedules you could never really catch him on a date. The thought of not ending your day together with a chaste kiss and goodbye made your cheeks warm up.

Your first concerns were whether he'd like the way you looked without makeup. What if you woke up with bad morning breath and messy hair? Would the food you ate on your date make you bloated and uncomfortable when you cuddle? He would want to cuddle...right?

All of your concerns were valid. It was after all your first time in this territory with Seonghwa. But you had forgotten one not so little detail of concern. You usually struggle with going to sleep. Normally it wouldn't be too bad. The energy left over from the day and your habit of procrastinating were the main culprits. But what you had not taken into account was just how nervous you were spending a night with Seonghwa. After he proudly got his own room and decorated it to his liking, he was eager to invite you. It had taken some time ot convince his housemates, seeing as you still weren't that familiar with them. Having a stranger, even if you were Seonghwa's girlfriend, in their home would probably mean they couldn't be fully comfortable.

After they finally agreed, Seonghwa softly began encouraging you to sleep over, never pushing you in case you didn't want to. He'd just send cute Tiktok's of fort building tutorials or cute couples wearing matching pyjamas.

That's how you ended up in Seonghwa's bed. It was not really made for two people but it only gave you the excuse to lay closer to him. Your eyes were trained on the movie playing on the computer in his lap. You were more comfortable than you thought you'd be, eyes growing heavier as the soft fabric of Seonghwa's hoodie comforted your cheek. It was soft and smelled clean, like him.

Seonghwa took notice of your sleepiness and assumed you were seconds form falling asleep. He smiled to himself, biting his lip as he admired the sight for a few seconds. He decided to stop the movie for now, switching to browsing his phone with your head comfortably on his shoulder. He shifted you both lower to lay down and you immediately open your eyes, snapping out of the short moment. The second your eyes open you feel a shock go through your body. It is as if somebody put eye drops in your eyes because they were wide awake and not clouding over with sleep. Seonghwa felt you jerk and looked over.

"Shh, go back to sleep" he hummed, reaching his hand over to stroke you hair, thinking it'd do the trick.

You sigh and turn onto your side, burying yourself deeper into his sweatshirt as you force your eyes shut. You did feel tired, but why is it your mind was suddenly running over a million thoughts. Was he comfortable? Did your hair smell good enough? Did he think your first sleep over was disappointing? You hadn't noticed how your body stiffened but Seonghwa had felt it. He put his phone down and looked down at you.

"You're not sleeping?" he whispered, just in case you were. You open your eyes when he addresses you and look up at him shyly, shaking your head.

"I always struggle a little with sleep and just us-" you want to tell him you were nervous, but would it sound stupid? You weren't a kid and should be able to tell him. But was the reason good enough?

"I get it, it's a new setting and this is first time for us. But it's just me, don't worry" Seonghwa hummed, putting his phone away to turn to his side and let you move into his embrace. His hand snaked over your back to stroke it gently, looking down at you with sleepy eyes. He hadn't noticed how sleepy he had gotten either.

"I am happy you're here with me, I'm happy to be like this with you" he reassures with a whisper. You didn't know how he always expressed himself easily but you're thankful for it in this moment, hiding your face away into his neck out of shyness. A familiar warm chuckle left Seonghwa as his hand tapped your back.

"Just let your head empty of thoughts, I'll be here to hold you" he murmured, closing his own eyes as his hand continued drawing figures on your back to soothe you. "I could always talk to you about star wars or something, I'm sure that'd make you fall asleep" he teased himself, which made you chuckle sleepily, already feeling how his warmth and comfort was lulling you.

And when you thought you could answer him, your lips never managed to move. The sentence full of gratitude for him stayed in your thoughts as you finally fell asleep, Seonghwa following closely behind you.

[97linelover]

false number alert - Kim Mingyu

18+ / mdi

summary: it´s normal to chat over your phone nowadays, but what happens if you receive a text from a stranger?

And what if this stranger is not who he claims to be?

content: Idol Mingyu x non Idol reader, fight,angst, happy end,fluff, smut

wc: 4.6 k

a/n: I got a weird text the last week and I came up with this idea, I´m not quite sure if I like it though.

unknown: You got time? I could call you!

Y/N: I'm sorry this has to be the wrong number.. I don't speak your language. And I don't know you.

Unknown: Sorry for my fault. I drank, and a random girl gave me a number.

Y/N: Oh, I'm sorry, but looks like she ditched you and you got the wrong girl. Here is just Y/N, and I am in my bed.

Unknown: Well, Jake here; nice to meet you, Y/N. Sorry, my English is not good.

Y/N: That is no problem at all. Write as you want. I can use a translator.

Jake: You sure?

Y/N: Yes. :D

Y/N and Jake didn't notice that they were texting for hours now. It just fitted; they had a lot of topics, but suddenly Jake had to leave.

Lily did not mind; she had to sleep; in Korea it was already morning, while in America it was night.

Texting a stranger was something she never wanted to do, but Jake made it so easy tonight, and since he is from Seoul, there was no way that they would meet ever. But little did Y/N know that Jake would be more than just a texting pal.

Jake: Y/N, are you awake?

Y/N: Yes, I'm still learning for my exam. 😟

Jake: I just came home from work. I'm tired. 🥲

Y/N: Isn't it like 3 in the morning in Seoul? Go to bed, Jakey.

Jake: I wanted to talk to you. But I don't want to disturb your studies. Good luck tomorrow. FIGHTING!

Y/N: Good night, Jake🥺.😴

From now on, the two of you became best friends; you texted him more than your best friend.

But since finals were just around the corner, you could not talk to him for a while.

Jake: You still alive Y/N??

Y/N; Yup, lol, sorry to share those news, jakeyyy."

Jake: I'm happy, u answer. I thought you forgot me... 😥

Y/N: No!! Would never, how was your day?

Jake; Call? I wanna hear you.

Your eyes went wide; you never talked to each other; you never had a phone call. But you were so curious what he sounds like. You took a deep breath to stay calm, and it was not that easy.

Not even a second later, your phone was ringing.

"Hey Y/N" His voice was deep, sultry, and fucking perfect. "Hey," Y/N's voice was soft and beautiful. Exactly how he imagined it to be.

"Now English is harder," Jake chuckled. "Don't worry, Jake, I'll understand you somehow," you giggled, and Jake sweared your laugh was doing something to him.

"Tell me about your day," you said while sitting down at the window. "We practiced a lot for sport," Jake told you he was an athlete. "My mates and me are tired," he yawned.

"Jake, you should sleep; we can text each other tomorrow." Your smile could be heard through the phone. "No, tell me about your day," he wanted to know; he suddenly felt so awake.

"Liz came over; we had dinner; she quickly went home because her brother needed help," you giggled, "and now I'm learning again." A sigh left her lips. "It'll be worth it at the end; I'm proud." You could hear your heart flutter.

They talked a little more until you heard soft snores from the other side of the call. Goddamn, why was he so cute?

"Good night, Jake," she whispered and ended the call.

-

"Come on, Darling, your grandparents are already waiting." Your mother took your hand, guiding you towards your grandparents.

It was the day of your graduation, and you could not be happier right now; you finally made it.

The ceremony was beyond beautiful; laughs were shared, tears were wiped away, and people were just so proud of you.

But you could not wait to enter your home, calling Jake.

When you rushed inside, you found a beautiful flower bouquet on the table with all your favorite flowers and a card tucked between them.

"I knew you would rock this. I'm so proud of you.

- J"

You smiled so brightly that your mother could only join it; you told her a little bit about him, and she happily listened to her daughter's love story.

You snapped a picture and wrote down a little message.

Y/N: thank you. It means so much to e.

Jake: You deserve it.

Your father walked towards you. "Honey, I know you're currently on cloud 9, but did you ever see him?" You looked up, shaking your head slightly. "You need a picture, just to make sure he's not a 57-year-old male named Carl," he k'pecked your head. "You're right."

Y/N; Hey Jake, I wondered if you would send me a picture of yourself. We know each other for a while now, and I'm really curious. 😇

Jake: Yes, wait. I'm in the car. I’ll snap one when I’m inside the building

When he send her a selfie of him she felt like squealing, he was beautiful. So it was just absolutely perfect. 

-

When you were getting off the plane, the first thing you'd noticed was the dry air. Vegas wasn't the best city, but your mother got you this trip as a graduation trip gift.

Liz traveled with you everywhere.

You directly told Jake about your trip, but he did not read the message yet.

When they arrived at the hotel, you took a deep, clean shower and got ready. You changed into something comfy and did a light make-up.

The main thing you did in Vegas was shopping. When you tried on a beautiful red dress, you snapped a picture and sent it to Jake.

and this time the answer came within seconds.

Jake: You're stunning, wow.

A deep red blush was on your face.

Jake did things to you which were not normal. But what can you do about it? The heart wants what it wants, and there's nothing you can do about it.

You took the dress and looked at the price..nevermind.

Y/N: Nevermind. Too expensive:

Jake: But it was so beautiful.. but dont worry, you'll look good in everything.

Ever since you both got in contact, you learned Korean; you sucked, but at least you were trying. You wanted to talk to him even more; you wanted this to work out.

You both went to the next stores and bought a few things. When you got back to your hotel, you called Jake, but he didn't pick up.

He was probably busy...

You went out to eat something; you were sitting in a small Italian restaurant when you suddenly saw Jake. You nearly choked on a noodle; he was walking outside of the restaurant with some friends, it seems.

"LIZ," you shrieked, "what?" "Jake, he is here." You quickly got up, but when you walked outside, he was nowhere to be seen.

Were you dreaming? You could swear it was him.

"He is not here, love; maybe you drank too much," Liz giggled. Maybe it was a dream.

Later that night you called Jake, but he did not pick up. Again.

Y/N: Hey, I think im going crazy..

Jake: Why

Y/N: I went out with Liz and I thought you were there. I saw you walking around with some friends, but when I looked for you again, you were away.

Jake: You know I was working the entire day :S?

You were absolutely going crazy; he was in Korea, and you're in Vegas.

To say you did not sleep well that night was definitely true; the night was horrific. That you thought Jake was here, and you really thought that he was.

Today would be different. She promised herself to not think about it, but how when Liz walks inside the room, giving her a bag with the beautiful red dress in it. "From Mr. Jakeyyy," she laughed, and you directly typed a message.

Y/N: You are insane. I can't accept this. '

Jake: Oh, and how you can; just snap a picture in it, and I'm satisfied.

And she did; both of the girls got ready for a night out, and she sent him a picture, and in return, he sent one back.

"Fuck me, he is hot," you gasped, showing it to Liz. "Absolutely," she agreed.

But when they were on their way to the club, Liz sighed, "You know, I still don't trust Jake." She looked at you, "What? Why?" you furrowed your eyebrows.

"You guys never facetimed; you only send each other normal photos. I don't know, he just seems fishy," you sighed. You don't know why you trust him so much.

When you finally reached the club, you bought some drinks; it did not take you long to get drunk.

You didn't know how much you had, but you felt quite tipsy.

You giggled when you saw Liz making out with a handsome Asian man, but you felt your heart stop beating when you saw Jake. And this time it was him; he was wearing the same thing he wore in the picture.

You didn't hesitate and walked towards him. "Jake? Jake, oh my god," the guy looked at her like you were crazy.

"It's me, Y/N." "Sorry, but I don't know a Y/N." You understood what he said. And it broke your heart.

You took your phone out of your pocket and showed the selfie. "But this is you?" You were basically pleading by now.

"Sorry, but I'm Wonwoo," he said and looked apologetic. So Jake played her. He was not who he claimed to be.

They all were right.

You felt the tears in your eyes; your heart felt so heavy, and you didn't know how to act. Liz noticed her best friends state and got her quickly outside of the club.

"You were right." You hiccuped and cried, "I wish I didn't know it, Y/N." She stroked your head. "Everything will be okay, my baby," you whispered.

Inside the hotel, you basically ripped the dress off.

You were still crying and called his number, "Hey, y/N, what's wrong." There he spoke with his beautiful voice, "Can you send me a picture of you right now?" You whispered, "Okay, wait." You heard a few noises, and then her phone vibrated.

"You don't feel bad?" You whispered while looking at it, "What you mean?" In any other moment you would've giggled because of his Korean. "You know I think it's funny; I trust you; I trusted you without a doubt, and then I was planning on having a nice night, but then I ran into your doppelgänger," you could hear his breath hitch.

"I met Wonwoo," you whispered and cried. "And I know that everything was just a lie; everything we had in those last few months was just based on a lie." You didn't let Jake speak.

"I just want to see a picture of you, Jake; I want to know why you decided to lie to me," and you just heard. Sigh, "Okay, wait, let me take one," and not even a second later your phone vibrated again.

*picture attached from Jake*

Your breath hitched. "This is you?" You could hear him taking a deep breath. "Yes." He was quiet now. "I do not understand why you lied to me; after this, I cannot understand this the slightest." You found him even more beautiful than Wonwoo; his looks matched his personality so well. "I'm sorry," he whispered.

"I need time, time to think about everything. Time to think about if I want someone in my life that just lies to me without feeling bad." You were crying so bad.

You were tired and you did not know how to handle this.

"Y/N, picture is not me, texting is me," he stuttered. "Believe me, I didn't lie about the things I wrote." He sounded sad.

"I don't know what to think, Jake; I need time," and with that, she ended the call.

And for both of them, this was a nightmare; the relationship they built was so good, and it just got ruined. Just because he was scared of being hurt, he did not realize how bad he hurt you.

When Liz carried you towards her date 2 days later, you did not want to join. You felt like you had the biggest heartbreak ever, and you constantly felt like crying.

"So he is also from Korea; his name is Seokmin, and he is the guy I hooked up with at the club." You barely registered her words when you two walked into the fancy hotel. "Damn, this guy must be rich," you mumbled, and Liz chuckled. "Well, his Louis Vuitton dress shirt definitely looked like it when I undressed him." She wiggled her eyebrows, and you giggled slightly. "Well bonus."

You took the elevator up the rooftop floor and there was a group already sitting, all eyes on you two. "Liz," the tall, dark-haired male, got up. "Seok." She grinned brightly and hugged him. You waved shyly towards all of them. "Y/N, this is Seokmin, Seok, this is Y/N." Liz introduced you, and he hugged you, "Nice to meet you, "Y/N." He smiled at you and introduced you to every friend, and when your gaze landed on Wonwoo, your breath hitched.

Why the fuck was he here?

"Is Mingyu running late?" Jihoon asked, and Wonwoo shrugged. "He has been weird for the last two days; his mysterious girl probably was someone ugly." He looked you right in the eyes.

"Mingyu met her?" Seokmin added now, "No, I don´t think so; he would not show himself right now." Wonwoo said, "He always does this," he added, and you ordered a drink looking around.

"Y/N, your name sounds so familiar." Jihoon said confused, and you shrugged. "I don´t you though," you giggled, and he chuckled. "Oh, there he is, Mr. Kim Mingyu, Mr. I just signed a Calvin Klein cooperation." Soonyoung cheered, and you followed his gaze, feeling your soul leaving your body.

"Jake?" you whispered, and Liz turned towards you. "Wait, thats him?" she whispered, and you nodded. "This is him, but why are they calling him Jake?" you furrowed your eyebrows. "Oh my god." You got up, and his gaze landed on you. "Y/N," he said, shocked.

"Wait, this is your Y/N?" Seokmin asked, and Mingyu could only nod, and you felt sick all of a sudden. "So Jake was also a lie," you scoffed. "What a fucking joke.".

"I can explain," he walked towards you, but you quickly took some steps back. "I don´t wanna hear; you lied to me with everything; we shared so many things with each other, every secret of me, every flaw of me, and you just lied the entire time; you told me your name was Jake, and you sent me pictures of your best friend; how messed up is this?" You tried your best not to cry, "but I guess that´s just your thing, right?" You walked past him. "I swear, I'm so done with you; I can´t believe I trusted you with anything I said to you.".

And when you left the building, you ignored how he pleaded for you to wait, to let him explain.

You could not do it; you were so tired of this entire situation.

When you entered the hotel room, the first thing you did was block him.

But now, 4 days later, when you arrived back home, your mother brought you a black envelope. You sat down on the couch while reading his handwritten letter.

'Y/N,

I know I am the last person you want to hear from, but I can only tell you what I really mean.

I want to explain, and I really want to see you. Dune will visit Seokmin tonight. I would love for you to join.

Maybe tonight will explain a little why I hid my Idenity.

Sincerly yours

Mingyu"

It was weird to read his real name; you fell for someone named Jake, and now hes called Mingyu´? How weird was that?

But you definitely wanted to know why he did it, so you were sure to visit this place with Liz.

You called her, and she quickly told you that she would drive there in 1 hour, so you needed to hurry. You took a quick shower and applied some make-up.

You slipped into a summery dress and some converse when Liz texted you that she was here.

"Can you tell me where the fuck I will find out why he hid his identity?" You whispered confused.

"I could tell you, but you should see it for yourself," she smiled slightly. "It will make sense by then.".

You both arrived at the stadium, and you furrowed your eyebrows; why? There were thousands of girls camping; you were confused.

But there was no time to think about it. Liz basically dragged you inside with two lanyards, and the security gave you two pink bracelets—'seventeen.' Follow again tour 2024' was standing there in bold letters. 'Staff' was added. "Don´t lose this; this will give you entry to every single room here." The security told you two this information, and you nodded.

"Let´s go to our seats. The show will start in 5 minutes." Liz dragged you along the rows until you landed in a separated seating area. There was one girl already looking at you. She smiled softly at you, and you smiled back.

She must´ve realized how confused you were.

"dune I don´t know what´s going on; where is he?" But before you could say anything, you saw a girl group walking past you with different pickets with his face on it.

On the others were pictures of Seokmin, Wonwoo, and Jihoon.

What the fuck was going on?

"You know, he will be happy that you´re here," a soft voice said, and you turned around. "Huh?" You furrowed your eyebrows, and she laughed slightly. "Sorry, I am Minseo, Mingyus sister." She smiled softly at you, and your eyes widened.

"Oh, I´m Y/N," you bowed slightly, and she hugged you. "Mingyu told me so much about you; he also called me after you left, and I quickly told him that he should be open about his work and that you will understand," Liz nodded. "Mingyu is a really nice guy, and I mean, I say this as his sister," she giggled, and you blushed.

"Minseo, I´m just so confused. I need to wrap my head around what's happening right now," she nodded, understanding, "oh guys, the show is starting." Liz screeched, and you looked towards the huge stage; the crowd was going crazy as they were coming down the stage.

You watched with wide eyes as the music began to play, as you saw the familiar faces perform, and when Mingyus voice began to ring through your ears.

The entire show you could only sit there and watch; you were speechless.

Your Mingyu was a global idol, and you did not know.

When the show finished, Liz was euphoric. "Aren´t they amazing??" you nodded. "Do you want to meet him?" She whispered, "I think I need to." You got up, following Minseo and Liz towards the backstage area. "They are currently changing into comfier clothes, but Mingyu told me that you can already wait in his room if you want to go to his hotel," Minseo told you.

You agreed because those were his duties; he also needed to go live, and you did not want to be a burden.

You waited on his king-size hotel bed, waiting for him to come when the door finally opened.

Mingyu walked inside, placing his backpack on the floor, taking off his cap, and then looking at you. "Y/N," he whispered, and you smiled. "Hi Mingyu." It was weird to say his name and to sit in front of him, but you were also excited.

"I´m so happy you´re here," he breathed out and smiled at you. "I thought that we should talk; I really enjoyed talking to you," you admitted, and he nodded. "I think I should explain some things to you." He pulled out a chair and sat down in front of you.

That he gave you space made you feel so respected.

"Okay, so at first I want to tell you that I am confused; everything that has happened was so confusing for me," you giggled slightly, and he nodded. "And I get it, believe me, but you know it´s hard for me to trust people," he sighed.

"I met this girl and she did not know me; I barely tell strangers my real name; as you can imagine, being famous has a lot of bad habits; I have to be careful, and then I was in it too deep. You can´t imagine how bad I wanted to tell you, but I wanted to do it in person; everything came different. I wanted you to know the real me, but I never had the chance." You nodded understanding.

"Imagine if I had told you over the phone you would´ve never believed me at all," he sighed. "I just hope that you can trust me again someday."

"You might think I´m crazy, but I trust you; I think you´re exactly the guy you pretended to be, and I want you in my life," you said with a shy smile. "You became a huge part of my life, Mingyu.".

"There is one more thing I need to tell you." He scratched his head and looked you in the eyes. "What is it?"

"I fell for you; after all those texts, I began to realize how much you mean to me," he admitted honestly, and you nearly choked on your spit.

"You fell for me?" You could not believe that at all. "I did; I´m completely smitten for you." He looked down, afraid of being rejected. "Gyu," he looked up. "I fell for you as well," you whispered, and his eyes began to sparkle.

"Can I kiss you?" He got up from his chair, and you also got up from the bed, nodding "please.".

There was not a second wasted when he attached your lips.

His hands pulled you close; your hands were around his neck, the kiss deepened, and you moaned into his mouth.

God, this was too good to be true; the way he kissed you made you absolutely crazy.

„We should take this slowly,“ you mumbled against his mouth. „Yeah, you’re right,“ but the way your hands were playing with the hair on his nape and the small moan he let out made your pants damp.

„I want you,“ you whimpered against his lips, and he smirked, pulling his sweatshirt over his head.

„Good that we feel the same,“ he laid you down on the bed until there was a knock on the door. "Maybe they will go away," he whispered while kissing your neck.

But the knocks became louder. "Mingyu, open the fucking door." The voice was unfamiliar. "Fuck my manager, you need to hide in the bathroom; if he sees you, he will freak out." You quickly got up, getting in to the bathroom.

"Mingyu-ah, were you sleeping?" He asked, confused. "Yeah," he scratched his head. "You got an interview for tomorrow morning; it´s pretty spontaneous, so I wanted to make sure you set your alarm." Mingyu nodded. "I´ll set one; see you tomorrow." He closed the door.

You were sitting on the bathtub edge when he walked in. "I´m sorry," he said, apologetic, and you giggled slightly. "That´s alright," you got up. "Maybe I should go," you yawned slightly. "You can also stay the night if you want. We can just lay down and talk?" he suggested while you two walked back into his room.

"I mean, if you want me to, but I don´t have any stuff here," you shrugged your shoulders, and he walked towards his suitcase, grabbing a shirt. "You can put this on?".

As the night got to the end, you both fell asleep while cuddling. You don´t know what time it was when you did, but you two talked until your eyes fell shut. He pecked your forehead and turned the light off.

You woke up with Mingyus alarm ringing, a yawn escaped you, and you felt him stir next to you. "Wake up, Gyu." You turned off his alarm, and he pulled you close. "Wanna sleep some more?" he pouted, and you giggled. "But you need to, and I also need to get to my hotel." he groaned. "When will we meet again?" he pulled you on top of him. "I don´t know; maybe when I have some days off, I have three weeks off in September." You shrugged your shoulders.

"Let me know when, and I´ll buy you some plane tickets," he softly kissed you. You both got completely lost within each other; his hands wandered under your shirt, his fingertips gliding along your skin; your hips were grinding on his crotch; you felt yourself getting extremely aroused.

"God, you make me crazy," he groaned, closing his eyes while you whimpered on top of him. Those little sounds you made made him dizzy; all the blood was rushing downwards.

His second alarm brought you down from your high; you were breathing heavily, and he sighed, "I swear the next time you´re with me this will end way better." He kissed you.

-

And now, 2 years later, you were living in Seoul; you quit your job and applied for some in Korea. You quickly found one with the help of Mingyus sister. Apartment hunting with the Kim Siblings was way more fun than you would´ve thought.

Minseo became like your sister; you both did so many things together that Mingyu sometimes grew extremely tired of you two.

But he was glad that his family accepted you like that; his mother directly liked you, and his dad as well. His family always said that the two of you matched so incredibly well. They were happy that Mingyu found someone apart from all that fame. Someone that brought him back to reality whenever life got too troubled.

You were currently making some food for Mingyu after his live show; it would be his last one for some time now. They deserved it; they all worked so so hard whenever you watched them.

The way Mingyu was always so tired when he came home and you both barely went out was draining for him. He wanted to spend more time with you; he wanted to travel the world with you.

His dream destination would be Italy. After they filmed the Nana tour there, you wanted to see the beautiful scenery as well.

So you bought two plane tickets and booked a beautiful Airbnb; tonight you will surprise him with that.

You were cooking some pasta and poured in some red wine when the door opened. "Jagi, I´m home," he said while taking off his shoes. "Kitchen love," you answered while putting the noodles on the plate.

"Mhmm, it smells so good," he said while walking inside, hugging you from behind and kissing your head. "Sit down, love. Dinner is done." You turned around to smile at him, and he kissed you.

When you both finished dinner, he yawned, "I´m really happy for this time off," you admitted, and he nodded. "We all are. Wonwoo and Joshua will fly to Europe and do a photography tour," he said to talk about the schedule of the boys.

"And we will go to Italy," you smiled brightly. "We will what?" He furrowed his eyebrows. "Maybe I bought two plane tickets, and we will stay in Italy for a month?" you blushed.

"Oh my god," his smile became so big, and you giggled, "happy?" He nodded happily, "more than happy; I need to pack." He got up.

"No need to, I did it already." You put the dishes away, and he lifted you up, twirling you around.

And if someone would´ve told you that you would end up in Italy with a ring on your finger, planning your forever with someone you learned to love over the phone, you would´ve laughed.

But as you both exchanged your vows and your closest friends sobbed, you knew this was real.

This was your happy end.

[siffrins-therapist]

🦄unihorns4salenotscam follow

can the nation-people rpf shippers STOP posting their headcanons and fic in the main tag????? People use the main tag for REAL information and news about the reps!

🚬fruityfag follow

says the person wiht a link to their scotnor fics in their pinned

🦄unihorns4salenotscam follow

did I say anything about NOT writing nation-people rpf AT ALL?? No?? I said to keep it out of the 👏MAIN👏 TAG. piss on the poor ass website I swear.

🌋hallgrimskirkjafucksnotredame follow

Yo guys? I think one of the nation-people found this post. Mr France literally posted this an hour ago:

🥑anavocadothaaaaaaaanks follow

NOT EVEN A THOUSAND NOTES??? I FEEL LIKE I'VE SEEN THIS EVERYWHERE

9123 Notes

🧭lostwanderer69

Hey uh........... did anyone tell the US rep that those panera bred lemonades are hella caffeinated??

🧟zombie--davie

how. how many did he drink?

🐗40to50wildhogs follow

He's literally immortal he's fine.

🦬alfredfjoneshater follow

FUCKING 12????????????????????????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

👻givemeblueflowers follow

He was in the middle of drinking lemonade 13 when he kicked the bucket. Some tiktoker was recording him on a Live

👑lotrmonarchist

apparently he was with m. Denmark. who. kept drinking more lemonades until the manager cut him off...

🥀valentinorose follow

P sure dude said once he ate hellebore like salad. Not surprised.

👑lotrmonarchist

i thought he only said that to make historians leave him alone

🧭lostwanderer69

No no, I believe it

869 Notes

🪆theinn3rm3

OK. Let's settle this.

3 Notes

🎪thenightcircusstolemylunchmoney follow

🏴stopdraininmeswamp-deactivated

Anyone else notice he does this when some senator or w/e pisses him off?

🏒ruscanhockeyrpf follow

the fbi got him

#war thunder #nation people bs

10.8K Notes

❄️snowmiserbottomsurgery follow

not the swifties acting racist af after mr. korea called taylor "that one a-pop artist" 💀💀💀

❄️snowmiserbottomsurgery follow

me looking at the notes ONE FUCKING HOUR after i hit post:

🧟‍♀️realzombiedavie

I'm convinced tswifts has mind control powers like how england sees fairies or miss belarus sees ghosts

🥐iaminlepain follow

Everyone needs to stop spreading around that the nation people have magic powers it's been proven again and again that it's fake.

☕blackcoffeegayweexist follow

realzombiedavie why'd you use an honorific for Miss Belarus but not Mr. England?

🧟‍♀️realzombiedavie

Cuz I actually respect Miss Belarus lmao

#RIP to OPs notes #turning off my asks in case england stans come after me again

14.2K Notes

📰nationrep-rpf-confessions follow

Dear god wtf is up with all the colonizer/colony (or ex-colony) ships lately??! I know RPF is already a gray area morally, but can we at least not be gross about it?!

✂️ausprutoxicyuriscissoring

This is some of the most low effort bait I've ever seen.

12 Notes

📎cl1ppyrev1val follow

Thanks for using my correct pronouns tho ig?

📍geoguessr-lowscore follow

the "schrodinger's country person" is sending me

🗡️teutonicsword follow

#negative tag #nation people mention #doesn't op write liechtenstein x reader? why's anon salty about the pruliech?

if anon's the person i'm thinking of, they selfship with Miss Liechtenstein and harrass anyone else that selfships with her or ships her with another cuntry-person

#oh god i'm p sure i know who anon is #hasn't staff termed them like 6 times? #how many accounts have they made?

593 Notes

🐻‍❄️hibernatingkumaku follow

🐻‍❄️hibernatingkumaku follow

@ everyone asking me for the link here it is enjoy.

[elllisaaa]

ateez as love songs

-> pairing : ateez x fem!reader

-> words count : 3.7k words

-> genre : fluff, hurt/comfort

-> warnings : self depreciating thoughts, mentions of panic attacks & anxiety

-> sorry for any mistakes, english is not my first language.

-> reblogs and feedbacks are appreciated !

-> author's note : i'm sooo happy to get back to this serie !! i missed writing with songs a lot so i hope you'll appreciate it as much as i did !

-> masterlist | ateez masterlist | 1k event masterlist

KIM HONGJOONG

-> Renegades by X Ambassadors

"living wild, and running free, two kids, you and me."

→ You and Hongjoong met when you moved into his neighborhood, and you immediately got along really well. He was also the only kid of your age to be around, and you had no choice but to befriend him. And you did, spending your whole childhood by his side. You did all the stupid things you could have done : skipping classes to go to the arcade or play video games together, pulling pranks on this one professor you both couldn’t stand, living your life to the fullest. But all of that crumbled when he told you that he had to go. You were happy for him, because you knew how talented he was, how much he did to pursue his dream. But you couldn’t help crying when you were alone in your bed at night. You did everything you could think of before he left, doing all the craziest things you wouldn’t have dared to do normally, so that all you remembered from him was happy memories. 

“- Promise we’ll see each other again, even when you become the biggest idol in Korea.

- Of course, I could never forget you.”

And Hongjoong held you tight in his arms, as if he didn’t want to ever let go. And if he could, he would’ve done that. Because the only thing he didn’t do before leaving was telling you how much he loved you, because he didn’t want you to spend your whole life waiting for him, and because he knew deep down that it wasn’t the end. 

"and I say hey, hey, hey, living like we’re renegades."

→ So when the two of you finally reconnected when you had finished your studies, and when Ateez had already grown big, it felt like yesterday, like Hongjoong had never left, like you were never separated. And just like when you were only kids, you started to do all these crazy things again. You had to be more careful because of his job, but it made everything even more fun, and breaking the rules even more thrilling. That was how you ended up in a random park, late at night, like when you were still in highschool, like there was no problem at all. 

“- You know, there’s one thing I wanted to do before leaving that I never did. 

- What was it ?

- This.”

And Hongjoong leaned in to kiss you, and you let him. Because even if he didn’t ask you to wait for him, you did. Because even if you didn’t know if he loved you, you couldn’t love anyone else. And now that you found each other again, he will not let go. Because you were the only person making him feel so alive, so free, so happy. Because he was the only one for you, and you were the only one for him.

PARK SEONGHWA

-> Say Something by Kodaline

"you can lean on me when it’s hard to breathe, you can call me anytime, so please say something to me."

→ Seonghwa knew when he started to go out with you that you had some trouble expressing your emotions, that it was not easy for you to say when you needed help. And he was okay with that, he knew that everyone couldn’t be as open about their feelings as he was. But sometimes, he wished you knew you could count on him, sometimes he wished he could do more for you. 

“- Baby, please, talk to me. I can see that you’re not doing good, I just want to be there for you.

- But I don’t want to bother you Hwa, I don’t want you to think I’m weak.

- Crying doesn’t make you weak my love, it means you’re letting go of your emotions, and it’s a good start okay ? I’m here for you, anytime.”

And that was true. Everytime you needed something, Seonghwa was there. Everytime you needed someone, Seonghwa was there. He was always there. And the feeling of being understood, of being heard was something so soothing you never wanted to let him go. 

“- You’re one of the best things that happened to me, you know.”

Seonghwa simply smiled and kissed your forehead, because you were the best thing that happened to him too, and he was glad to see you grow and open up to the world. 

"i’d do time for you, i would lie for you, i would die for you."

→ “- You’re sure I’m not crashing your plans ?

- Not at all baby, I was only going to watch a movie and I’d rather spend my night with you than alone. I’ll be over soon.”

Whenever a panic attack hit you, you had the habit of dealing with it by yourself, using techniques you had learned back when you were a teenager to calm down. But ever since you met Seonghwa, you grew familiar to his presence, to his comforting aura. And everytime you were suffering from your anxiety, the only person who was able to help you breathe more easily was him. 

“- I’m sorry to bother you again, Hwa.”

But he only shook his head at you, his soft fingers caressing your cheeks tenderly. You were never a burden to him, on the contrary. He loved to spend time with you, he loved to take care of you, and even if he wished he could magically get rid of all your pain for you, he was glad you knew that you could lean on him anytime. Because he would give up everything for you, because he loved you.

“- You’re never bothering me. Never. I only want you to feel better.

- I’m feeling good now that you’re here.”

And that was all he needed to know. 

JEONG YUNHO

-> Wherever You Are by Kodaline

"wherever you are, that’s where i’ll be."

→ Yunho loved going on tour, he loved being on stage, he loved these moments, and he loved meeting atinys. But there was only one thing missing - you. He wanted you to come along with them, but it was impossible because of your job. And despite both of your busy schedules, you always found a way to call each other everyday, no matter the time differences and if it was day or night. 

“- How is it going so far ?

- It’s so good. I’m so glad I didn’t give up on what I wanted because even if it’s hard sometimes, I’m truly happy.”

And that was obvious from the smile on his face every time he talked to you about a new city he visited, everytime he updated you about what happened at tonight’s concert. He was made to be on a stage, he was made to spread the same happiness he gave to you every time you were with him.

“- But I miss you, angel. I can’t wait to go home to you.”

You couldn’t wait for that too, because the apartment was so empty without him, because your home was not a place but a person. It was him.

"we get carried away in emotion, we get lost in each other’s eyes."

→ The lazy weekends you spent at home with your boyfriend might be your favorites. You didn’t need to go out every day to know that he loved you, in fact, just laying in bed while reading or watching a show you both knew by heart felt even better. Because it was another proof of how you didn't need to change yourself for him, how you knew he would always love you for you.

“- Why are you looking at me like that ?

- You’re just so beautiful, angel… Sometimes I can’t even believe you’re mine.”

You tried to control the blush spreading on your face, but Yunho could feel your warmth as he caressed your cheeks. And his smile widened at how cute you were. 

“- You’re saying that as if you’re not so damn handsome yourself.

- Well, I’ve never denied that.”

You rolled your eyes at him, but you couldn’t hold your giggles for much longer, letting him kiss you even if both of you couldn’t stop smiling like fools in love. And you were. So in love that sometimes it was overwhelming, but one look at each other was enough to remind you that it perfectly made sense in the end. 

KANG YEOSANG

-> Pretty Boy by The Neighborhood

"even if my heart stops beating, you’re the only thing i need, ooh, with me."

→ “- Will you be home late tonight ?

- Uh, I don’t know Yeo, I have a lot of things to do. But do you want me to come home earlier ?

- I don’t want to bother you though.”

But he was never bothering you. Ever. And it was rare for Yeosang to ask for your comfort like that. Usually, it would only show in his gestures, and you would take the hint and cuddle him until he was totally relaxed. But you knew that when he was telling you directly, he really needed your help. 

“- You’re sure you don’t want me to run you a bath ?”

Your boyfriend shook his head, nuzzling his head further in your neck and his grip around your waist tightening as if he feared that you would get up and walk away. 

“- Yes, I just need you.”

You smiled softly and started to run your fingers through his hair again. Hearing his breathing become more regular and feeling him unwind in between your arms had to be the best feeling ever. Knowing that he only wanted you, and that you only wanted him only reinforced the conviction that you could only be soulmates. 

"as long as i got you, yeah, i’m not afraid to die, i’m alright."

→ “- You’ll warn me whenever there’s a jumpscare right ?”

You nodded at your boyfriend as you settled back in his arms, wrapping the blanket around the two of you as he started the horror movie you’ve wanted to watch together for some time. Despite Yeosang knowing very well that he was not a fan of the genre, he wanted to do it for you and see if maybe he could end up liking it. 

“- Can we… stop the movie baby ?”

You immediately grabbed the remote tv and paused the film before handing it to him, pecking his lips as you smiled at him tenderly.

“- We can watch the rest of it another day, or not at all. It’s up to you. And it’s your turn to choose something to watch.”

Maybe that someone else would have made fun of him for being so sensitive to horror movies, but you didn’t, you never did. You simply accepted it, accepted him without any questions. That was one of the many reasons he loved you, because there were at least a thousand, so much that it would take days to note them down. And every time you did something like this, he added some more to the neverending list.

CHOI SAN

-> Say Yes To Heaven by Lana Del Rey

"if you dance i’ll dance, and if you don’t, i’ll dance anyway."

→ You always loved to see San dance, his moves and his flow always hypnotizing you each time. Whenever you witnessed him dancing, you couldn’t tear your eyes away from him. And even after all the time you’ve been together, he still struggled to accept your compliments on his dancing, sometimes you’ll even have to beg him to let you come see him practice or perform. 

“- You did so good, baby ! I’m so proud of you.”

Despite San being all sweaty and still a little breathless from the intense exercise, you still hugged him tightly, letting only you hear his quiet “thank you”’s. He received countless praises about his skills, but yours always hit different for some reasons. Maybe because you were the person he estimated the most.

“- If only you would let me teach you one of our dances, you’ll see you’re even better than me. 

- That’s impossible, you’re the best Sannie.”

He always had to turn your nice words against you, praising you instead. But your smile every time you did so was the greatest gift he could receive. And finally convincing you to let him teach you some moves made him the happiest man alive - it was the first step to get you to dance with him the day he will marry you after all. 

"i’ve got my eye on you, say yes to heaven, say yes to me."

→ San had always been very careful, never when it came to him, but when it was you, it was a whole different story. He was the type to put his hand over the sharp edges when you could bump into them, or to notice that you had an eyelash on your cheek, just because he was always looking after you, because he was always looking at you. 

“- What is all that Sannie ?”

You looked at all the snacks covering your coffee table, your heating pads ready with your favorite blanket on the couch and your comfort movie already on the tv. And then you looked back at your boyfriend with tears in your eyes.

“- Don’t cry, love. I just noticed that you were not doing good and then I realized you were going to have your periods.

- And you did that for me ? I’m gonna marry you someday, I swear.”

San grinned at your words, only answering that he was only waiting for you to do it. But he couldn’t help thinking back to the ring hidden in his socks drawer, waiting there until he had planned everything because you deserved the best proposal ever. The only thing he was sure of was that you were going to say yes and he couldn’t wait for this moment. 

SONG MINGI

->That’s So Us by Allie X

"what i like about you baby is how you annoy me daily, but you still fucking amaze me, that’s so us."

→ Even when you were still friends, Mingi and you used to text each other non stop throughout the day. No matter if it was only to update each other on what you ate for lunch, or that you saw a kid fall on the street, it felt good to know that you were the first person you thought about all day long. And now that you were dating, it didn’t change - and it even got worse - but you didn’t mind it. 

“- Isn’t it annoying how much you’re texting all the time ?”

Mingi gave a judging look to Jongho, and you couldn’t help but laugh at it as you came back to watching the video still playing on your boyfriend’s phone.

“- No, never. It feels like she’s with me even when I don’t get to see her.”

Jongho fake gaged, as if he wasn’t the one encouraging Mingi to confess to you back then. But you didn’t mind the playful bantering, it was funny. And you totally got what your boyfriend meant. It wasn’t always easy to see him leaving for tours so often, but whenever he was sending you eight photos per hour to keep you updated on his day, it felt like you were traveling with him and it helped when you missed him too much. And you didn’t get how he could still manage to make you laugh, but he did and you never wanted him to stop. 

"and i sing in the car while you’re playing air guitar, that’s so you, that’s so me, that’s so us."

→ “- What are you doing ?”

But Mingi was already running ahead of you to reserve a place on the swings for the two of you. You couldn’t help laughing as you joined him, ignoring the bad looks you were getting from all the people and parents at seeing a 6 feet man sitting on a kids’ swings.

“- Come here, baby, push me !”

He was almost too big to sit on them, but he managed to anyway, and now you had to find a way to help him move even if you could barely push him. 

“- I can’t Mingi !

- Sit on my lap then.”

So you did, and he held you with one arm as he made the swing move by himself. Your giggles mingled and it was silly but you felt so happy you felt like your heart could burst.

“- Wanna get ice cream ?”

You had barely answered “yes”, and Mingi was already standing up, holding you bridal style and running to find the closest ice cream stand. Whenever you hang out with him, it was like you lived a second childhood and you loved it just as much as his smile when he saw you play along in his antics. 

JUNG WOOYOUNG

-> Never Be The Same by Camilla Cabello

"suddenly i’m a fiend, and you’re all i need, all i need."

→ You’ve always dreamt about having a boyfriend who would be literally obsessed with you, who couldn’t get enough of you. And you didn’t think you would end up being the one getting crazy over a man. But here you were, watching Wooyoung do his skincare with hearts in your eyes. 

“- I can feel you staring at me, baby.”

His smirk was eating up his face as you looked at each other through the reflection in the mirror. He did that everytime you were simping over him, never letting go of the fact that you loved him that much.

“- And what if I was, uh ? What would you do ?”

Wooyoung turned around, with his cute, fluffy headband still holding his hair out of his face. It was difficult to take him seriously like that, but he looked adorable. He got closer to where you were sitting on top of the washing machine, cupping your face with his hands.

“- This.”

And he kissed you, love pouring from this gesture that made you melt down on the spot. He always managed to make your heart flutter and your cheeks blush without even trying. But you knew that he was equally as obsessed with you, because once he got a taste of your lips, he had to kiss you at least a hundred more times to be satisfied. 

"you’re to blame, just one hit of you i knew i’ll never, ever, ever be the same."

→ Love at first sight was never a thing that Wooyoung believed in. It was cool and romantic on a screen, but in real life, he thought that there was no way it could ever happen, especially to him. That was until he got introduced to you. When he crossed your eyes for the first time, he was hit by the realization that yes, it did in fact exist, and that it happened to him. 

“- Do you think we’re soulmates in every universe ?

- You think we’re soulmates ?”

Wooyoung wanted to kiss your cute pout away and assure you that if there was a word stronger than soulmate, it would be what he would call you.

“- Of course we’re soulmates, we’re literally a match made in heaven.”

You couldn’t help but laugh at how silly he could be sometimes, but you loved it that way. Because the first time you met him, and that he froze in front of you with his jaw hitting the floor was the day you fell for him, and you wouldn’t want it any other way.

CHOI JONGHO

-> Chasing Cars by Sleeping At Last

"if i lay here, if i just lay here, would you lie with me and just forget the world."

→ Sometimes, Jongho didn’t want to talk. And sometimes, he was anxious that you would get bored when you were hanging out with him. It was not that he didn’t want to tell you all about his day, it was just that he needed some silence, or that he didn’t have the energy to do so. 

“- Do you want me to tell you what happened today ?”

Everytime, Jongho would nod and instead of talking, he would listen to your soothing voice while he ran his hand through your hair. That was all he needed to relax after a long and exhausting day. 

“- And then you won’t believe what she did, baby ! She literally ate the yogurt I had put my name on !”

You didn’t force him to react, you didn’t ask anything from him because you knew he was listening, that he was paying attention. Sometimes, you were worried about talking too much, but never when you were with Jongho. And even when the both of you needed some silence, it was never awkward. You just did your own things or cuddled, kissing each other sometimes and just enjoying each other's presence. Whenever you were together, it was like a little bubble that protected you both from the world. 

"those three words are said too much, they’re not enough."

→ Words had never been Jongho’s main way to express his emotions. Often, he struggled with it. And you never had a problem with it, appreciating every gift and gesture he offered you because you knew it was his way to say he loved you. Sometimes, he was a little envious of how easily you showed your adoration to him, and he wanted to return it in some kind of way. 

“- You really spent months on that, just for me ?”

The tears in your eyes as he made you listen to the song he had been working on for you made him want to protect you from the cruel world forever. 

“- Yes. I always feel like I don’t tell you enough how much I love you, and sometimes I feel like this is not enough to express what I feel for you.”

Without thinking about it, you threw yourself in his arms, smiling when you heard him giggling as he held you against him. 

“- You didn’t have to, but I love it so much, I’m gonna listen to it every hour of every day from now on.”

The smile on his lips was so bright that you almost had to close your eyes. But the view was so perfect that you didn’t want him to stop any time soon. And even if he didn’t say it everyday, you knew he loved you and you would never trade what you had against anything else.

-> i don't allow any copies, reposts or translations of my work.

ateez taglist (fill in this to be added) :

@sharonxdevi @hann1bee @lil-kpopstan @riraives @lichyuu @foxinnie8 @lovelyuyu

1k event taglist (fill in this to be added) :

@emmaluvsjisung

[redwolfxx]

if he died

(Gun x reader)

Tw: death

Summary: Title

A/N: i'm a gun stan 🫣 can't help myself, he's too fine, sorry for all the angst - such a mood killer, gonna have to right something happier this makes me feel like 💩😭😭

If he was killed

It was late and he was still out. He'd normally be back by now, dragging himself in through the door, body, likely littered in cuts and bruises, nothing ever fatal. He'd walk in and lightly brush past you, kidding your forehead on his way to the bathroom to clean up.

But he wasn't. At first you'd try and reason with yourself, maybe the job was farther away than normal. Maybe he was out with Goo again at one of those god awful karaoke bars they'd try to drag you to.

But by now hours had passed and he still wasn't home. Texts and calls unanswered. You knew you couldn't ask Goo as the two weren't exactly on good terms at this point, but you didn't have another choice.

As you scrolled to his contact, the doorbell rang out through your apartment. Ah, he was home.

As you went to greet him you stopped. He has a key.

Quickly you go to grab the metal baseball bat you kept in the hallway closet. As you grew closer you carefully looked through the peephole.

It was Goo.

Hesitant, you opened the door. At first he didn't say anything, he wouldn't meet your gaze.

You tried to invite him in but he wouldn't even look up.

Eventually he looked up and opened his arms to hug you. Yes, Goo, hugging, you.

You begin barraging him with questions about what he was doing, why he was there, etc, and most importantly where was Gun.

But he wouldn't answer, his only response was to hold you tighter as you began crying out your questions, occasionally hitting his chest in a pathetic attempt to force him to say it, to tell you it was a joke.

But he didn't.

Once you had calmed down he had apologized out of pity.

After he left you closed the door behind him, locking yourself away.

Friends calls went unanswered and texts unread as you cried out for a ghost that wouldn't come home.

His lawyer would come one day, reading to you, his last wishes. Explaining how title transfers and money transfers to you would work.

At first you'd refuse telling him that Gun was alive and he must've gone into hiding and he'd be back. The man only looked at you with a gaze of knowing pity for you.

Eventually when affairs were settled you'd visit his grave in Japan, it was on his family home estate, that his father still owned. You'd met him a long time ago when you'd visited Japan with Gun. He had invited you up to see his final resting place to give you a chance to properly grieve.

You'd sat on the bench by his grave, it was fancy and expensive, not a speck of dust, not a mar of imperfection. It was him. With that you'd cry, you'd cry to him asking him why he'd go and get himself killed. Why he'd left you without saying goodbye. And you'd cry because you loved him. You'd cry because he'd never comeback, you'd cry because you could.

The attendants had left you to cry in peace, but you felt their gazes watching you, some pitiful, some criticizing, and some jealous. But you'd paid them no mind.

Once you had your good share of crying, you sat there. Starring at his name. Starring at him.

Eventually you'd return back to Korea, back to your shared apartment, back to the real world.

You'd have to go back to the same cruel routine without him to ground you. You'd have to go on alone.

If he died of natural causes

(be fr he has so many enemies 😭)

You'd grown old together, and had shared a life, a home, one love.

When the two of you were old enough you'd both move to Japan together where you'd work a regular 9-5 for a while, while he ran his Yakuza.

Eventually he'd convince you it was too dangerous to work without his protection and you'd retire to focus on your hobbies and spend his money as you wished.

You'd have kids together and you'd do your best to try and keep them away from what their father did but boys'll be boys and your son would be drawn to what his father did, and would become successor to Gun. Your daughter would go abroad to study, going on to work and start a new life in the States.

You'd grow old together, his love for you as obvious as ever and never growing thin. As they say, time makes the heart grow fonder, and it did. You'd enjoy dates to fancy restaurants and simple shops around the world.

You'd watch your kids have kids and you'd watch your son pry Gun away from the fighting and push him into retirement with you.

You'd buy a place in the country, away from the noise, away from people. You'd have a garden out front and a lake behind your place to yourselves. Occasionally friends and family would visit, and you'd find joy together in the peace.

Your home would be decorated with random wood figures he'd make in this newfound free time.

And eventually when the time was right the two of you would pass. Your final resting places next to each other for eternity. Whether he went first or you, didn't matter to time as the other of you two followed soon after.

You'd live lives without much regret, you had lived together and you had died together. Your love was eternal.

---------------------------------------------------------

Note: i love him so much i'm actually gonna lose it if he goes (no spoilers, im only up to date w the webtoon app chapters)

[bnhaobservation]

My two cents about chap 426

Hum... maybe I should call this my SIX cents about chap 426 because I'm gonna look at that chapter from three different perspectives.

The first is the Doylist one, in which I'll try to discuss what I think Horikoshi meant with what he represented in the chapter. I'm not Japanese and I might be wrong so take everything with a grain of salt.

The second is the Watsonian one, in which I'll focus on the story itself.

The third... is watching the chapter not keeping into consideration the chapter as a story filled with Japanese culture aimed at Japanese readers but as if it were a story that follows my culture and is aimed at me. This third analysis is here because there's actually a huge cultural clash between how many scenes would look to a Japanese audience and how they look to a person of my culture.

It's food for thoughts about how different cultures can see the same things differently and, while I'm a western, this doesn't mean I expect allt he western to feel the same as there are plenty of countries in the west and while they've similar views... they still can be different among them so it's fine if other westerns would read the chapter in an even different way.

Also this is not meant to be a compaint at Horikoshi or a critic to Japanese culture, just an acknowledgement different cultures see things differently.

Of course you can choose to skip to read one of those three parts if it doesn't interest you.

It's up to you.

Said so let's start.

Doylist commentary: So I’ve already discussed in a previous post how normally, the general attitude of a family would be to dump Touya to his own devices… so, as to prove the Todoroki instead are there to see Touya because they care about him, we’ve the opening discussion in which it’s clearly said not only they are all there but also that they aren’t there merely for a sense of duty. It’s Horikoshi’s roundabout way to say the family CARES.

By the way Fuyumi, Rei and Natsuo got a haircut. While it's obviously due to the hair burning cutting off hair in ancient Asia (Japan, china, Korea & possibly some other Asian cultures) used to symbolize being banished or rejected from their home (which fits with how the family is kind of a social pariah) but currently, cutting long hair into a short cut means to forget the past, leaving the old and starting anew (which might fit with how the family is starting a new life).

So I think Horikoshi also kept this into consideration when he had them cut hair.

We aren’t told where they are but it’s probably either a Villain hospital (they got mentioned in the Overhaul arc)...

...or just a prison as the guy in the room is dressed in a way that’s similar to the guards that were in Tartarus.

Touya is in a medical contraption which looks like a coffin as the guard explain he’s slowly dying.

He looks terrible, Horikoshi even got rid of his hair, which Touya had instead kept through the whole battle. He looks so bad (there are even nails that, I guess, hold still his head and what seems to be mechanical contraptions  around his jaw and neck, never mentioning the restrains that hold his body still… though we can’t see anymore the cables that were visible in the previous chapter… guess Horikoshi retconned his previous design…) some readers have compared him to a Cenobite. For who has no idea what a Cenobite is, they’re characters from the Horror movie “Hellraiser”, extra-dimensional beings who are mutilated and brainwashed into torturing humans for all eternity. Likely the visual look is to sweeten the pill that Touya is meant to die. In such a state it will seem cruel to keep him alive.

The announcement Touya is about to die is likely meant for the readers, not for the family, as they probably already know, hence not only there’s no reaction from them but this is also meant to be Horikoshi’s attempt to clue the readers in the fact we’ve to let Touya die.

His family has no hope he’ll survive and it’s doing nothing in this sense which is also a way to tell us we’re meant to deal with it... and Horikoshi likely chose this as this is the most ergonomic solution for Touya's ending.

Japan has death penalty, and fighting so that Touya would survive, only to sentence him to death for his crimes afterward, would be counterproductive for the story as it would only stretch it and make it sadder.

I’m pretty sure Horikoshi thinks letting Touya die on his own is a good compromise.

The following talk between Touya and Enji is a mean to conclude both Enji and Touya’s arcs.

The remark that Enji always meant to retire is here to tell us it’s not just because he can’t fight anymore, so he’s forced to. You might remember Enji himself said ‘Endeavor’ died back when he woke up in the hospital at the end of the first war.

The fact Horikoshi also had Enji’s body being basically destroyed (along with Fuyumi and Rei getting scarred) is part to show the consequences of their mistakes, part to symbolically have the family also share what Touya went through (when he burned himself over and over).

We’ve a lot of close up on eyes, to go back with the theme of looking, of how Touya only wanted for his father to look at him and how he’s been looking at him the entire time.

There’s another visual good reason why Enji is on a wheelchair.

When Enji says he’ll come to talk with Touya, Horikoshi represents Touya as standing, dressed as Dabi and with the scars Dabi had prior to his reveal but with Touya’s hairstyle. Visually it’s to tell us both identities have merged. Touya isn’t dead… but he’s no more just Touya, Dabi is part of who he is. His arm is missing but HE IS STANDING, he’s not trapped in that contraption. Enji is also represented without bandages or burns… but he’s still seated on a wheelchair. This forces him to look up at his son, while Touya looks down at him. Even though now Enji isn’t saying sorry, his words and the visual imply this is also an apology to Touya, even if Enji already said to him he was sorry after the end of the fight.

This is BIG in Japan so in this way Horikoshi makes the scene more emotional.

Now… previously Touya didn’t want to talk, he wanted to be seen by Enji. His catchphrase was ‘look’ not ‘hear’ (as this chap itself remind us).

He was desperate to show his father what he can do. In chap 390, moments before Shouto saved the day, Horikoshi introduced the idea he wanted to talk with his family.

It wasn’t a bad idea, first of all because now he’s not in the state to show much, so either Horikoshi were to kill him short after he almost blew up Japan, or they wouldn’t have much to watch now. Introducing the idea he wanted to talk as a way to ‘translate’ his ‘I want to be seen’ gives them something to do with the additional time they’ve with him and could be considered foreshadowed by the times Touya tried to talk with his family and they didn’t really listen to him. So the idea that seeing him could also be done by talking with him works.

It’s also an extra attempt to make clear to the readers Touya’s soul will be soothed/saved even if he’s going to die (I’ve discussed how this might be important for Japanese readers while it often falls flat to western readers in another post).

Horikoshi also kind of give closure to the Touya/Shouto narrative. By giving them the same favorite food he draws a connection between the two siblings.

The reminding of their fight isn’t just here to remind us of how the battle. What Touya said before that bit was they shared the same blood but were really different. Now instead he’s shown Shouto has something in common with him, something good and nice like a shared taste for a certain food. This denies Touya’s words that they run in parallel but forever apart and with Touya apologizing to Shouto, in a single blow Horikoshi ends the feud between the two siblings as well as giving Touya the chance to do what he wanted to do when he woke up in the orphanage, apologizing.

It can also be that this little exchange was something Horikoshi long planned, as for a long time he had kept Touya’s tastes hidden in his profile so that he could reveal it here.

I know there had been wondering if Touya’s tears are real (hence either his tear ducts regenerated or he lied previously) or bloody or something else. I think the whole point of it according to Horikoshi is that Touya, who used to cry a lot as a kid (and whose tears eventually almost killed him as the fire at Sekoto Peak started from them)...

...then became unable to cry.

Touya was (almost) killed by his own pain and desperation and once he was forced to not show it... well, this also lead him to become a Villain.

The message was not that he wasn’t suffering anymore, but that he couldn’t express it anymore (which is not a good thing)… with Horikoshi going for alternative ways to show him being in pain (his losing blood the hair die dripping  from his eyes and so on) that you would notice only if you were paying attention, in short ‘looking at him’.

Now Touya is being looked at and can express his pain as well, though this time is a bittersweet one.

So I don’t think the idea is we should ask ourselves how he can cry, and if it was a lie he couldn’t, but just enjoy the message.

It’s bloody tears? Is he magically able to shed tears again? Or it’s just a symbolic scene? Repeat the MST3K Mantra and just enjoy the fact he’s finally capable to express his pain and WHY because it’s hugely unlikely we’ll get an answer on the why (though maybe the anime might show if they’re bloody tears or not).

Horikoshi gives less space to the closure of the Rei/Touya and Fuyumi/Touya narrative, just having them tell him they want to talk with him.

I think Horikoshi considered the Rei/Touya narrative closed when he had Rei apologize to Touya. Yes, Touya said he wanted to also apologize to his mom, but I think the idea is that Touya’s apology to Shouto is meant to work as a reminder Touya wanted to apologize so Horikoshi doesn’t feel the need to show us that scene.

As for the Touya/Fuyumi narrative… Horikoshi hardly paid it any attention. The only interaction we see between the two of them prior to disaster striking has a 3 years old Fuyumi telling him she doesn’t want him to get hurt, which lead Touya to claim she doesn’t understand. When Fuyumi shows up on the battle ground she fundamentally say something similar by claiming she can’t bear to lose anyone else.

However Horikoshi might have meant for the closure not be her words but her actions. Fuyumi accepts to get burned in order to try to save her family parallels how Touya got himself burned to try to get his father to see him, they both burned because they couldn't bear the pain of not doing anything.

Long story short the reason why Horikoshi hardly give space to Rei and Fuyumi might be that he thinks he had closed their narratives with Touya already.

If, Enji, Rei, Fuyumi and Shouto were all the Todoroki family members I’ll say that the story of the Todoroki family has definitely ended with this chapter. Don’t take me wrong, there’s plenty of things I would wish to see them do and say with Touya, but Horikoshi might feel he had them say all that truly mattered and leave the rest to the readers’ imagination.

However… there’s still the matter of Natsuo.

This chapter mostly seems to close the Enji/Natsuo narrative, but not the Touya/Natsuo one.

In fact it’s noteworthy how through the discussion the only one who said nothing to Touya and tried not to look at him is Natsuo...

and the only moment Natsuo is shown looking is the moment Touya close his eyes.

There’s basically zero interaction between the two of them.

Now… I don’t blame Natsuo for failing to help his brother when he was solely a child of 8… but the story did. The interaction we were shown had Natsuo dismiss an already crying Touya, causing him further grief. In two chapters (302 & 388) Horikoshi has Natsuo thinks if he has talked to Touya or heard him out it would have made a difference.

Now though, Horikoshi leaves him silent.

There’s more.

I know there’s plenty of people who is cheering on the idea Natsuo won’t meet Enji anymore, which seems also how Horikoshi closes the Enji/Natsuo narrative … but this however indirectly means Natsuo won’t meet Touya anymore. Touya can speak with people only few minutes per day and Enji will be there all the days. This means there’s no time for Natsuo to meet his brother outside of the time his father will also be there.

Either the closure to the Touya/Natsuo narrative is that the two will never meet again (so they won’t have a chance to talk again and reconcile) or we’ll get another interaction between Touya and Natsuo.

Since Horikoshi raised a point previously that implied the importance of Touya and Natsuo talking, to me it feels a bit weird he would decide to go this way.

Let me be clear again, this is not about denying Natsuo the possibility to decide he’s furious with his brother and doesn’t want to see him anymore. This is about Horikoshi tossing in previously the idea it would have been important for Natsuo to talk with Touya and him regretting not doing and… then having him not do it again. While it’s a legitimate choice for Natsuo to make, in terms of story writing is kind of an odd choice… especially because Natsuo’s words seem to imply he’s trying to leave the past behind (even the visual places him ahead, in front of his family which is behind him)…

...which again, fair choice, but there was a whole narrative in the story about how the past doesn’t die so I’m not sure why Horikoshi would want instead let Natsuo go this way.

So I think it’s possible we’ll get another Touya/Natsuo interaction… which might include a Todoroki family/Natsuo interaction as well. Maybe Natsuo will bring his girlfriend to meet Touya. It would make a good chance for her to be introduced to us readers as well before the end as so far we only caught a glimpse of her.

On another note Horikoshi apparently has this chapter ends the narrative of Enji’s atonement.

No, it doesn’t mean Enji has finished atoning, just that he has find his way to atone.

Enji is taking responsibility for how his actions caused what Touya did (taking responsibility was something he refused to do before) and now he’ll spend his life protecting his family. It’s a compromise of the narrative Heroes hurt their family to save others. Enji is trying to do both so this narrative is also in a way closed by having a Hero who tries to do both.

Natsuo says responsibility has been taken and punishment dished out…

‘........ Shōjiki sekinin wa hatashita to omou batsu mo uketa to omou… mō ī nja ne ̄ no?’

「........正直責任は果たしたと思う　罰も受けたと思う…もういいんじゃねーの？」

“...Honestly, I think responsibilities have been taken and punishment has been received... isn't it enough now?”

…Enji continues to say he’ll keep on taking responsibility and try to protect his family (and therefore their future). This was what he had assumed was the duty of the Number 1 when he had talked with All Might so that discussion comes to a full circle as well. He faced Touya (aka accepted to dance with him in hell) and will keep on protecting the future of the people and his children by trying to protect them by the scandal/sparks/fiery fallout.

What’s the scandal/sparks/fiery fallout?

Many wanted Enji to be legally punished for the abuse he forced his family to undergo… but that’s not something Japanese society really cares, that’s viewed more like a personal family matter between all the Todorokis… and none of the Todorokis is asking for legal compensation that’s why Horikoshi won’t have Enji be put under trial.

What society blames THE WHOLE TODOROKI FAMILY for (yes, even Shouto even though he hardly had a part in this) is being the family that gave birth to Dabi who was among the ones who went at war with the current society (again, I’ve talked about it in a past post). It’s legally not a crime to have a child who became a criminal… but Japanese society will give you hell for it, hence Enji wants to protect his children from this and take the whole blame on himself.

Horikoshi likely means for THIS to be punishment for Enji’s mistakes (along with the death of ‘Endeavor’ and the damage his body suffered). As Natsuo said THIS WILL BE HELL (at least in theory) so it’s not like Enji is supposedly getting off lightly.

However a foreign reader might miss it because we don’t really get to see the ‘hell’ part. Shouto is in class A who’ll protect him (normally they won’t, Shouto would be ostracized at best, bullied and forced to leave school at worst), Natsuo’s girlfriend is still willing to marry him (normally she would dump him), Fuyumi had to leave her job but she was immediately helped find another one (normally her chances to be hired by people who were to know who she is would be 0) while all of Enji’s sidekicks and Kurumada are there to support him (normally they wouldn’t want to support him) and Hawks is there to support him too (and the story forgot about how Hawks too was involved in a scandal as the fact Hawks is the son of a criminal is a big deal too, even if Hawks’ situation is better than the Todoroki’s). The hell part is a given for Japanese readers so Horikoshi doesn’t feel the need to show it but he shows only that it won’t be only misery.

There’s also something else here. By remarking how things will be fine for the Todorokis because they’ve people supporting them, Horikoshi clearly means to underline the importance of having people supporting others. In the story those who had support always managed to handle things in the end no matter how hard they were, so it’s likely this what Horikoshi is stressing.

Two words about Nagant and La Brava and Gentle.

As I’ve said in a past post, contributing to the fight against AFO was going to be the way for Villains to get forgiven for their crimes. It’s a recurring trope in manga and it works in real life too so I’m not surprised Horikoshi presents them as they’re all pardoned.

The only downside I see in this is that by representing Nagant as okay to stay in prison he forgets how he represented Tartarus as a place where violation of the human rights was an okay thing. Yeah, his idea is probably she was moved and placed in a better prison but still, the narrative has kind of washed away how Tartarus was terrible in more than one situation (prisoners like Stains were first shown to be kept tied all the time but when there’s the escape they’re all free and La Brava said being put in jail was beneficial for Gentle).

Horikoshi clearly let everyone cover up how the Commission jailed Nagant for the wrong crime and it’s not presented as something bad. Revealing it is avoided because it would create chaos and distrust again so the story now only place Hawks, a person who means well, in charge of the commission and this is all the insurance the Japanese audience need to know things from now on will go on well.

It’s possible the idea is also Hawks’ narrative has ended. He lost his Quirk which in a way saved him as it was due to it the Commission took him away from his mother but also it was due to it he became the Commission’s lapdog and now he sits at the top of the commission. He’s basically free and can use the Commission’s power to make a better world. As I said it seems Horikoshi cut short the whole scandal part which regarded Hawks to close his narrative in a positive light.

In a way it almost seems there’s a clash in how the Todoroki family narrative involves the scandal being still alive while the Hawks narrative just let it go. In real life society would probably still give Hawks hell because in Japan you’re just not supposed to have a relative who’s a criminal.

In the story though, while the Todoroki family was held accountable for what happened with Touya (Touya was stated to be the Todoroki’s family sin and hence Shouto had to deal with it), Hawks wasn’t hold accountable for what happened with his parents so Horikoshi gave him a free pass thinking his readers wouldn’t mind (just to make clear I DON’T HOLD HAWKS ACCOUNTABLE FOR THE FACT HIS FATHER WAS A CRIMINAL… but Japanese society often thinks differently).

Hawks is even missing the cut Himiko gave him on his cheek as it apparently left no scarring (or Horikoshi forgot it).

So this might be the last we see of him… unless Horikoshi is going to address him a little more due to the Hawks/Jin/Himiko narrative. Will he be involved in sparing a Villain’s life instead than urging Heroes to kill them or killing them himself? We’ll see. I’m not taking him wanting to get Nagant out of jail as an answer to this as he was supportive of Nagant previously as well. Long story short it’s possible we’ll see more of Hawks but it’s also possible that’s all we need to see.

Lastly, the scene with Shūichi at Central Hospital is clearly meant to imply the next chapter will address his narrative.

We know Midoriya was meant to bring to him Tomura’s last words. Shōji might drop a visit as well to talk about Heteromorphs and ways to cope about discrimination or he might want to talk about the future of Heteromorphs. On another note, Horikoshi might remember in his world building he has decided who carries more than one Quirk, unless it’s All for One, will have a shorter lifespan (remember Hikage?) so he might be planning to tell us Shūichi, who now has three, will soon die of old age. Killing him too like it was done for Tomura, like it will be done for Touya and, possibly, like it was done for Himiko (unless they saved her) is ergonomic as it spares Horikoshi from telling us  Shūichi  will be jailed and sentenced to death to give us a tamer ‘he accepted 2 Quirks from AFO and now he faces the unavoidable consequences’. Not that it makes me happy but we’ll see.

So here ends how I think Horikoshi wanted us to read this chapter. I’m not Japanese, I might be wrong as I might have missed some cultural clues but I like to hope I was, at least, close enough. I think for Japanese readers it will be an emotional and fulfilling chapters and they’re probably going to enjoy it a lot.

Watsonian commentary:

So as I expected the Todoroki family is gone to see Touya. This seems the first time they see him, but since he seems to be in some sort of Villain hospital it’s possible it took time for them before they were being allowed to see him. That or for a while Touya was in coma or something like that because yes, some of the Todorokis might not have been up to see him immediately after the fight but some others weren’t so bad.

Of course there’s the possibility they preferred to wait for everyone before going there but I prefer to think they either had to wait to be legally allowed or that it was Touya who previously couldn’t see anyone.

Touya is in some sort of contraption… but the most it’s doing is keeping him alive a little longer as we’re told he’s slowly dying. This tube in which he’s put in is more like a coffin than the one in which Tomura was put in and it can be conveniently placed horizontal and vertical. To allow Touya to talk with the others they put him in an horizontal position. It’s worth to mention the room Touya is in seems dark and, anyway, the others can’t be in the same room as him, they see him through a glass.

The family is composed and calm despite being told Touya is about to die, Touya, seeing them there is sarcastic, pointing out he’s not a tourist attraction. He’s keeping distance from them, even though they all came to see him during the war and now, his words point out how he doesn’t seem to believe they came there for him, that if they were to be there it would be because they thought to find some ‘amusement’ in seeing a tourist attraction.

It’s a jab meant to hurt, as they never looked at him before and the little they did previously came too late… but it’s also possibly a hidden plea to point him wrong. Touya wants to be seen.

Enji fundamentally tells him he succeeded in killing ‘Endeavor’ and in having flames that are way hotter than his own.

Touya insists it’s too late, that Enji is playing nice now when it’s all over and that he’s being a coward.

While Enji agrees with him, now he keeps on staring at him and takes responsibility again. Midoriya has said Touya wasn’t Endeavor so Enji couldn’t be blamed for his actions but Enji takes blame for them anyway.

He says something interesting here.

‘Dare ga nanto iou to........ Omae no honō (netsu) wa ore no HELLFLAME da’

「誰が何と言おうと........　おまえの炎（ねつ）は俺の『ヘルフレイム』だ」

“Whatever people try to say… Your flames (read: heat/rage/mania/madness/passion) are my Hellflame.”

This seems a nice way to also call back how Touya said that the fire inside him was lighted by Enji and wouldn’t go away… as well as a nice tie with how Touya thought he was in hell and invited Enji to join him. Enji’s rage/madness was passed down to Touya, burned inside him and became Touya’s rage/madness. Enji is no more telling him to just forget and move over, he’s accepting Touya couldn’t.

We see Touya’s eyes squeezing a little, even if he’ll hardly talk through this chat and we hardly can see clearly his emotions his eyes tell a story of their own.

Enji acknowledges it’s far too late but promises he’ll spend the rest of the time Touya has talking with him. In short this time he’ll be there for him, he’ll pay him attention. Touya says nothing but his heart speeding up shows he’s affected. Enji encourages the rest of the family to do the same and encourage Touya to tell him whatever he wants, even if he hates him, which is a repeat of what he told him once they managed to stop him. Fuyumi and Rei also say they want to talk with him but Touya closes his eyes.

For once he won’t be looking at his family, though more likely the reason isn’t he doesn’t want to see them but that he’s just keeping his emotions bottled inside.

Natsuo instead says nothing and this is the first time he looks at his brother… though he has an uncertain expression. It seems as if Natsuo hasn’t quite decided what to do with his brother. His last words to Touya were a scolding… but also moved by how Natsuo felt guilty because in the past he didn’t listen Touya.

In the past Natsuo used anger to hide his pain so back then Natsuo probably used it to hide his sense of guilt. In a way he’s similar to Touya and Enji. Now though… he seems uncertain, he probably hadn’t come to term yet with what had happened.

The family is told to leave and return tomorrow. I guess they’ll be allowed free access. Shouto though still wants to ask Touya about his favorite food but, at first, he gets no reply either, Touya’s eyes still close, while Natsuo turns away his face. It’s when the family is about to leave and Touya is lying down in that dark room he finally replies, telling Shouto his favorite food is Soba, which Shouto confirms also being his favorite food.

It’s meaningful Shouto is the only one who got his brother to reply to him in a somewhat normal tone… even though Touya needed to do it once he was kind of hidden by everyone’s sight… or that he did it  when he thought everyone was leaving as if to say he didn’t really want that.

That tiny word is Touya accepting to talk with them peacefully, but, more importantly, with Shouto. His family has tried to reach out for him, and, of all of them, he reacted to Shouto’s question. It’s probably also Touya’s way to make peace with them. He had hated Shouto, he had said he wanted him dead but now… he’s starting from him to talk with his family. And the fact they have in common something, their own favorite food, makes everything even more tragic because those two siblings could have gotten along, they had things in common, if they had been given the chance they could have gotten along and loved each other just fine but… now it’s late and they’ve only a short time left.

Touya cries when he hears Shouto, like him, loves Soba, he’s finally able to see his brother not as someone way too different from him for him to connect to Shouto but as someone likes him and this allows him to apologize to Shouto, even if the visual seems to imply Shouto didn’t hear him as it was done when Shouto was already out of the building… or at least that’s the impression I get from the images.

As said before, apologizing is a BIG DEAL in Japan so this matters a lot more than it would in the west.

Once they’re outside what’s probably some sort of Villain hospital, Natsuo says he’s cutting bridges with Enji and won’t see him anymore. By default, this means he won’t see Touya anymore either, as Touya can get visits only for few minutes at day and Enji promised he’ll go there all the days.

Likely it’s not just for all he said in past chapters when he admitted being angry with Enji and feeling bad when he sees him.

Touya is a criminal and his whole family, but especially Endeavor as he’s a public figure and a Hero, is held accountable for this. Touya has made a video for the purpose to make sure society, who would have already normally blamed his family for Touya’s actions, had even more incentives to blame Enji. As Natsuo himself said, what expects them after what Touya has done is hell. Society will hold them accountable as if they had agreed to what Touya did.

Cutting bridges with Enji (and Touya) is a common way for many criminals’ family members to try to escape the social hell that await them.

You might notice Natsuo said:

‘Kanojo to seki iretai-shiki wa agenai shōkai mo shinai.’

「彼女と籍入れたい式は挙げない紹介もしない」

“I want to enter in the family register with my girlfriend, but we won't have a ceremony or introduce each other (families).”

In Japan all the family households (basically defined as married couples and their unmarried children) have a family register, also known as koseki (戸籍). The words Natsuo uses imply he’s registering himself in a Koseki that already exists, not that he and his girlfriend are starting a new Koseki.

Now, from what I could understand, generally you start a new Koseki when you marry or when you become independent…  Natsuo isn’t married yet and, although he said he doesn’t want to see Enji again, he didn’t make clear if he wants to become economically independent. It would be difficult as people would be unwilling to hire him and he hadn’t finished university yet (Fuyumi had to leave her job and could find another only because someone supported her).

It’s still possible Natsuo wants to ask for his own Koseki but I think part of what Natsuo want to do is to register himself on his girlfriend’s Koseki so as to take her surname.

Changing Koseki and surname will help him distance himself from the Todoroki. Differently from his mother and sister Natsuo has no facial scars marking him. If he manages to sell himself for someone who’s not a Todoroki he might escape hell.

Natsuo then asks Fuyumi what she plans to do as she had to leave her job. I think he wants to know if she has a plan to escape hell too… but while Fuyumi confirms she has lost her job, she says she has found another thanks to a person who helped her and it’s clear Fuyumi doesn’t plan to cut bridges with her family or Touya. She said she wants to talk with him after all.

Natsuo claims he believes responsibilities have been taken and punishment has been received... asking if this isn't it enough. To Enji it’s not.

He states he’ll be making amends and apologize for his sins for the rest of his life.

‘Okashita tsumi no baishō to shazai o isshō o kakete tsudzukete iku. Mite inakute ī. Kodomo-tachi (read: omae-tachi) ni furikakaru hi no ko o dekiru kagiri ore ga uketomeru, ikinobita imi ga aru to sureba sore dake nanda.’

「犯した罪の賠償と謝罪を一生をかけて続けていく。見ていなくていい。子どもた（おまえたち）ちに降りかかる火の粉をできる限り俺が受け止める、生き延びた意味があるとすればそれだけなんだ。」

“I will continue to make amends and apologize for the sins I committed for the rest of my life. You don't have to watch/look after me. I will take upon me as much of the sparks/damage that will (try to) falls on the children (read: you) as I can, and that's the only meaning of my survival.”

As said before, apologizing is a big deal in Japan and what’s more Enji wants to keep on doing it and making amends and therefore taking responsibility when, previously he had always avoided doing so and pushed responsibility on others. Natsuo remarks again it will be hell but, although Enji agrees with him, he also says he accepted it because he accepted to dance in hell with Touya.

‘Ā DANCE no sasoi o uketande na.’

「ああダンスの誘いを受けたんでな。」

“Yeah, I was invited to the dance.”

He has changed a lot from where he started, to the point even Natsuo, who’s the one sibling who has the lowest opinion of him, acknowledges it.

‘… Hajimeteda yo otō-san no koto kakkoī tte omoeta no.’

「…初めてだよお父さんの事かっこいいって思えたの。」

"...It was the first time I thought my dad was cool."

This sentence from Natsuo means MUCH more than it might seems like as it’s the first time Natsuo refers to Enji as ‘otō-san’ as he previously only used ‘anta’ (“you” in a kind of rude/angry way) or ‘Endeavor’ to talk with him. Now he calls him ‘otō-san’ which you can translate as father/dad, but it’s much more respectful than the ‘oyaji’ Shouto uses.

Basically, even though Natsuo is cutting bridges with him, with this sentence he’s acknowledging Enji as his father for the first time. The first time Natsuo yelled at Enji, Shouto said he wanted to see which kind of father Enji could be. I’ll say the idea is that now he’s the sort of father they can appreciate.

Shouto assures everyone he’ll be fine too as he has the people in class A to support him so he can become the person he wants to be. The Todoroki children leave and we see that Endeavor’s sidekicks as well as Kurumada are there to wait for Enji and Rei. I take that means they’re back together. Enji receives also messages from Hawks, who’s worried for him.

Basically, even though the Todorokis are supposed to be in hell, each of them has people supporting them (Natsuo has his girlfriend, Fuyumi the mother of one of his students, Shouto has class A, Enji and Rei Endeavor’s sidekicks, Kurumada and Hawks) so things will be fine because they’ve people supporting them (in this story who didn’t have people supporting them broke down and ended up a Villain and prey of All for One).

We move to Hawks who’s likely the youngest president of the commission and would like to free Nagant but now, differently from when she escaped, Nagant is all for staying in jail so that she won’t be exploited again. Well, she worked for the Commission and by AFO but… well, the Commission exploited her because they caught her when she was really young… but AFO… he hired her and she said she agreed to work for him because she believed the resulting world would be better. So he used her but I wouldn’t say he exploited her unless the idea is he blackmailed her into agreeing… which it’s possible but wasn’t shown. I’ll be honest, I’m probably losing some sort of clue about Nagant’s narrative post her meeting Midoriya because her actions after meeting him never quite felt that smooth. It’s probably me but, due to this, I’ll leave this part of the story as it is and focus on Shūichi who’s not in a Villain hospital but in Central hospital even though he’s a Villain bedridden and in a poor shape. With three Quirks he might end up dying soon of old age but I don’t know if the story will refresh our mind with this detail.

Shūichi is likely about to meet Midoriya and, possibly, Shōji, maybe with Kōda. I don’t think the ones who followed Shūichi till Central Hospital then changed their mind will drop to say ‘hi’.  I do not look forward to this part. Midoriya had to tell him Tomura’s final words, which, I guess, will be sad and emotional.

As I wasn’t a fan of the Central Hospital arc I do hope it’ll be only Midoriya who’ll visit him because I do not look forward to a retake of that arc. I think that arc is another thing that cause a huge cultural clash but, while this chapter still managed to have good point the Central Hospital arc felt even more distant from me and I’ve no wish to resume it. Still, we’ll see.

A not-Japanese person (aka me) commentary:

I’ll refresh everyone’s mind again. This is a commentary done as if I had not the slightest idea of how Japanese culture works and were reading the story SOLELY through the lenses of my culture… and I’ve to say this is one of the chapters in which the cultural clash is more evident and reading it merely through the lenses of my culture brings me really far from Horikoshi’s intended message.

It’s not here to criticize Horikoshi, it’s just food for thoughts that shows how the same scene can be interpreted very differently according to which lenses you use to look at it. If this is not your cup of tea, just don’t read it.

Now… I’ve said how, in Horikoshi’s intention, the first discussion is meant to show that the family LOVES Touya and that they aren’t there for a sense of duty. To Japanese readers I think it works wonderfully. Ironically, if this were a story placed in my country it would have a different effect. Opposite to Japan in my country is a given they would go to see Touya. All that talking about not having to go there (when it would be normal to) seem to drive home the family thinks NO ONE cares about Touya. Yes, Shouto would then set things straight but you’ll get a really different impression than the one the author intended.

The scene with Touya being held in that tube gets even more horrifying as we often would let inmates who’re about to die go back home so that they can die in their home, with their family, especially if they clearly aren’t in the shape to escape. What’s more the family wouldn’t just leave, as Touya is about to die they would want to remain with him even if he just were to sleep.

The Todoroki family is very composed, very calm, they don’t need to show their pain or their love because in a Japanese mind setting just the fact they’re there and want to talk with him proves it… but since here it would be a given we would need it to be more grief stricken or the family comes out as cold.

We don’t have death sentence. The fact that the family isn’t scrambling to try and find a way to keep Touya alive in such a Quirk world (with Garaki indeed saving him from a similar situation and him surviving for 10 years) again feels as if they don’t care about his survival, as if they thinks it’s more convenient if he dies.

So what for a Japanese audience is meant to work as a way to let Touya go, here gives out a very different vibe… we would have needed Touya to die on the battlefield, before medical aid could be carried to him to accept this.

Touya’s initial mockery, his refusal to talk afterward and his last moments with Shouto instead work here too and are emotional enough.

I wouldn’t expect Enji to face legal punishment for what he did to his family not because we consider it a private family affair but because… he should have faced it ages ago. When little Touya started burning himself at the tender age of 3, the family would be put under scrutiny. They couldn’t let him under vigilance. When Shouto was burned, this would worsen. When Touya would be assumed dead there would be for sure legal consequences. If Enji hadn’t faced it back then, my conclusion would be the BNHA world doesn’t care about all this and won’t lift a finger to protect children (never mentioning the time to make a complaint would be expired). If the idea is that Enji covered things up back then, then the characterization would break down when he would admit things, making it bad writing so yeah, I would just expect the BNHA world to be built to not care to punish such abuse… but the story to criticize it by punishing Enji with his physical disabilities.

Continuing on this… yes, I would be in the camp of ‘just an apology isn’t enough’ because in my country saying ‘sorry’ isn’t that big of a deal as in Japan and wouldn’t even begin to cover it. Combined with how Enji isn’t fighting to save Touya’s life nor improve his condition but he’s saying he’s just willing to talk… it feels he’s doing too little.

Natsuo’s narrative would feel concluded even with Touya. Deciding not to see him nor his father again would feel okay, and since we wouldn’t really hold Touya’s siblings accountable as much as in Japan, Enji’s idea he’ll protect them from the scandal wouldn’t feel like the big deal it is in Japan.

The sidekicks’ narrative would feel... weird. Horikoshi showed them as supportive of Enji in previous chapters because he was a great Hero despite his family situation. There was no real criticism for how he handled his family but in such a setting it could have worked because they were focused on the war. Now that the war has ended the fact they all brush away Enji’s past without having a chance to be critical to it (even if only to say ‘you did terrible but now you’re trying to fix it so okay’) would reinforce the idea of a messed up theme in which for people is okay to abuse people. Yeah, I guess we might fill the blanks assuming they confronted him in a scene we didn’t see because they aren’t really important but it still would feel weird.

The same goes for Hawks, who doesn’t plan to reconcile with his abusive parents but never felt discomfort at how it was Enji’s neglect what caused Touya to do what he did, nor showed sympathy for Touya.

I won’t really dig much into why Japan and my country handle this matter differently, because the difference was established long ago, it’s just that we would have kept on expecting that Hawks’ lack of reaction didn’t mean he was okay but merely that the whole thing was being postponed so it would be confusing when, even now, it wouldn’t be addressed at all, while for the Japanese narrative is clear there’s nothing to address.

Now… remember when I said in Horikoshi’s intentions showing us that the Todorokis will be fine because they’ve support is to remark the importance of support and that he doesn’t show the struggle of the Todoroki being in hell because it’s a given for Japanese readers?

Well, since for my culture it wouldn’t be a given, all that would be seen is the Todorokis not having troubles at all… and their life being made even easier because they got so lucky they accidentally met up with people who would support them. The importance of support gets dimmed by the fact the hardship isn’t really shown much but is supposed to be taken as a given (to be fair we see a little of it, but it’s easy to miss it), and them having support as well just make things seem even easier for them.

Something else worth mentioning about Hawks is that for us the scandal wouldn’t be so much that he was the son of a criminal and hid it, but that he killed Twice… and the press probably even recorded that he said to kill the Twices again. The problem is… here the police is not really allowed to use lethal force (I’ll go for Heroes paralleling the police) unless it’s a life or death situation.

In Japan it’s exceedingly rare the police will use lethal force but… they can do it in the event that a person who is actually in the act of committing, or is suspected on sufficient grounds of having committed, a violent and dangerous crime which is subject to the death penalty or life imprisonment does so much as TRY TO ESCAPE. Bubaigawara was escaping yes, but he was a dangerous criminal and Hawks said he had no choices and so it makes it fine. So basically for Horikoshi this narrative was likely kind of closed with Hawks’ press conference and him apologizing for not managing to find a better way to handle things. It makes it to the news because it’s supposed to be rare… but not because it’s wrong.

Yes, generally the police is investigated if they kill someone but since the police in BNHA was aware of which danger Twice represented it’s no surprise they shrugged it off. And Hawks apologized which, as said before, is a big deal in Japan so to Japanese fans this narrative is, by now, long closed. The same instead wouldn’t work for people of my country.

Nagant’s narrative feels weird to say the least as not only she can’t decide to remain in jail when she’s told she’s allowed to get out but I would expect the situation to be investigated as she ended up in jail for a crime she didn’t commit instead than the one she did. Of course this would means to put the commission under investigation as well instead it seems like all is being hushed which I would totally take for corrupt government. Hawks being a person who means well wouldn’t be reassuring because he’s covering previous crimes.

So that is. This would be my reaction if I were to analyze BNHA from the lenses of my country’s culture. As you can see it would give off a very different vibe because since we’re different for us things would need to go differently to get the same message.

THIS IS NOT A COMPLAINT TOWARD THE STORY HORIKOSHI WROTE.

It’s just accepting if Horikoshi makes a story that’s strongly tied to a specific culture (his own Japanese one) people from a different culture who might not be aware of how things work in Japan, will perceive what he says differently. Which is fair, many of us will be handed off the manga without additional cultural notes that help us to understand it the way the author wanted us to understand it. Some stories aren’t meant to work in the same way through all around the world and, as a result, this might cause them to feel ‘bad writing’ in some countries just because the message they want to deliver ends up not being understandable by everyone.

I still think it’s worth to read BNHA even though I just can’t get the same warm feelings Japanese readers get from this ending. I like to think I understand what Horikoshi is trying to deliver (I might be wrong) but it feels more like cold understanding after rationalizing things than an immediate emotional response. It’s very interesting for my curious mind so again I don’t regret in the slightest reading it but… it’s not equally emotionally satisfying. But well, that’s me, if you managed to find it working perfectly well than that’s great!

[miss0atae]

The grieving process in My Stand-In:

I found interesting in this episode how the characters are dealing with the loss of Joe in their life. They all act and react differently. Grieving can be painful and come with powerful emotions and we could see it through different characters.

On one hand, we have Wut. He is still feeling the loss of Joe. His grief comes with guilt. He feels responsible in some way for the way Joe disappeared from his life. He believes everything would have been different if he stopped Joe. It's quite frequent while grieving to feel guilty. I think he is stuck in the “Tyranny of the shoulds” and he is putting to much significance in what he didn't do and what he should have done. It's a kind of torture. It must be even worse because in the span of two years between the loss of Joe and the appearance of New Joe, he also lost one of his children. So, he had to experience twice the hardship in grieving. However, when it comes to Joe, Wut is also feeling angry. Anger is a natural response to grieve, especially towards something we can't control. His anger works hand in hand with his guilt. Ming is the culprit of Joe's disappearance for him and Wut also felt he didn't do enough to protect Joe from Ming.

On the other hand, we have Ming. He reacts totally differently from anyone because in his mind, he refuses to admit Joe is dead. This loss doesn’t feel real and he will not accept it. I don’t know if it’s truly denial or knowing how possessive and obsessive Ming can be, he simply decided Joe couldn’t leave him for real. So that’s why he must be alive somewhere. Joe can’t be dead because he must be with Ming. This is probably why Ming reacts with anger when anyone may suggest Joe is dead. When he had the diner with New Joe he wasn’t really expressing anything until New Joe talked about Joe’s possible death. At this moment, anger could be seen on his face. He chased away New Joe and told him to tell Wut to stop saying this. He also warned him to be careful when talking about Joe. He became really protective of this idea. Anyone mentioning Joe’s death is stripping Ming from the illusion he may come back and Ming is not ready to let it go. It also brings him back to the difficulties of facing the loss of Joe in his life, as it was shown when he met the shaman.

I'm still waiting to see more about Sol's grieving process. We know he went away in Korea after Joe's disappearance, but now that heis back in Thailand we may see more about his coping mechanics.

[talekinesis]

Reasons I will not Accept Umbrella Academy Season 4 as Canon (major spoilers)

I wanna preface this with: This is just my personal opinion, I am not telling anyone how they should or shouldn't feel. If you liked season 4, that is wonderful for you, I wish I could say the same

These two. I do not like their little romantic side plot at all for a multitude of reasons

I know Five's consciousness is like 68, I know he's technically an old man, but his body is around 19 years old, and Lila knew him while his body was still 13 so it just feels weird

I cannot imagine being in my 30s, married with children and being in love with someone who looks like they're 19, and yes, I know 7 years alone will do numbers on someone's mind, but still

throughout their whole little love montage, I was just begging, "Please let this just be a wholesome friend thing, please let this just be a cute, close sibling like dynamic- FUCK ME, THEYRE KISSING!?"

Also Five wasn't even good to her, he lied about the book at first and just made the decision for her that she'd stay with him in that timeline forever. And yes I know he eventually told her, but even after that he kept trying to convince her to just abandon her husband, children, and family because "You're happy here." Diego and Lila have their own issues, sure, but he's still the much better option and wouldn't have tried to trap her like that.

Season 4 Five just feels.. off, he feels wrong. Bring back his little shorts and old man vests when he was in 'retirement.' Bring back the Five that went on a road trip with Klaus because he wanted to see things like the world's biggest ball of yarn or whatever it was, I don't like this Five who tries to trap a married mother in an alternate dimension with him

THE CLEANSE

ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME

YOU'RE GONNA SIT THERE AND TELL ME NONE OF THEM MAKE IT??

"Oh Talon, there can't always be happy endings, some endings are sad too," and I GET THAT!! But that doesn't mean I can't still pout about it >:(

I will sit here with a pouty lip and arms crossed for all eternity /ref

It just felt like a kick to the gut for the show to be like, "Oh and they ceased to exist, they were never born, none of this technically ever happened, and no one remembered or missed them. They saved the world, the timeline, and no one will ever remember them for it because it technically didn't actually happen to begin with," fuck you

These characters we got so attached to, these plots that we got so invested in, you can't just tell me, "Also they technically never happened because they were never born," what the hell??

So you know what?? No. I don't accept s4 as real. Just like the cleanse, it never happened. As far as I'm concerned, the story ended at s3, everyone is alive and well, they don't have their powers, and they all went their separate ways.

Viktor is still running a bar in Canada with his friends

Allison is still a happy mother to Claire

Luther is living in the mansion married to Sloane

Diego is still learning to be a parent with Lila

Five is in much needed therapy and in college reclaiming a young adulthood life he never had

Klaus is still sober and going strong, probably working at a café, he's someone's favorite barista and they have conversations

Ben is living in South Korea (where google said he was at the end of s3) and he still keeps in contact with Klaus and Viktor

[pnutbutter-n-j-elyy]

When You're Afraid of Fireworks

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In honor of the 4th of July tomorrow and being American I must complete my annual duty of showing Patriotism in some way- and instead of underage drinking a can of beer in the back of a Ford F-150 at a family cookout where relatives I don't even talk to argue about politics, my older brothers and their choice of girlfriends, my seemingly incurable singleness and lack of pull, and what it's like to be an American I've decided to be Patriotic by completing this OT7 request for Enhypen 🫡 GOD BLESS AMUUUURICAAA RAHHHH 🦅🔥

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Heeseung:

The night was alive with the anticipation of fireworks, the air buzzing with excitement. The entire group had gathered on the rooftop of their hotel, a perfect vantage point to watch the city’s grand firework display. Heeseung was especially eager, his usual calm demeanor replaced by an infectious enthusiasm at being able to a fireworks display- let alone in a country that was known for such shows in an act of celebration.

You stood a bit to the side, your heart racing with a mix of dread and nervous anticipation. Fireworks had always been a source of anxiety, the loud noises and sudden bursts of light triggering a deep-seated fear. But you wanted to spend time with your boyfriend. You wanted to see his face light up at a new experience - even if the familiar experience always did the opposite for you.

As the first firework exploded in the sky, the crowd let out a collective cheer. Heeseung, standing beside his bandmates cheered super loud too. His face mimicking the emojis you sent to him so often. He glanced over at you - want to see how beautiful your face looked watching. Wanting to see the smile and look of joy he loved so much on you. Instead, he noticed your tense posture and the way you flinched with every burst of sound.

Without a second thought, he made his way over to you, his presence immediately offering a sense of calm. “Hey, you okay?” he asked softly, his voice barely audible over the noise.

You nodded, but Heeseung could see the unease in your eyes. He gently took your hand, guiding you to a quieter corner of the rooftop, nudging open the door of a storage space. “It’s alright,” he assured you. “We can watch from here. It’s not as loud. Hmm?"

You stood together, the distant explosions illuminating the sky. Heeseung kept a steady hold on your hand, his touch comforting. “You don’t have to be scared,” he said, his tone soothing. “I’m right here.”

With each passing moment, you felt their fear gradually subsiding, and slowly replaced by a sense of safety brought on by your boyfriend's calm presence. He didn’t let go of your hand, his thumb gently rubbing the back of it in a reassuring gesture.

"I'm sorry I ruined it for you Hee...I thought that I could overcome it but...I couldn't I'm sorry."

Heeseung smiled and kissed the top of your head, shaking his own. "You didn't ruin anything baby. I think you made it better because I got to hold you while watching."

You laid your head on his shoulder as you continued watching; and even if the anxiety was still eating out you- it was bearable in his arms.

As the grand finale lit up the night, Heeseung turned to you, his eyes reflecting the colorful lights. “See? It’s beautiful, isn’t it?”

You managed a smile, your fear momentarily forgotten as you looked into his eyes that exuded joy. “Yeah, it is,” You murmured. "It really is."

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Jay:

The black sky was painted with streaks of vibrant colors as fireworks erupted in a dazzling display. Enhypen had gathered in a park to enjoy the annual celebration a small neighborhood participated in, even if it was for a holiday not recognized in Korea. Surrounded by fans and friends. Jay was in high spirits, his laughter ringing out as he chatted with his bandmates; excited to see something that sparked memories of his first home.

You sat a few feet away, your anxiety heightening with each thunderous crack. The flashes of light and the deafening sounds were overwhelming, making it hard to focus on anything else other than how much you hated fireworks. You wrapped your arms around yourself, trying to find some semblance of comfort.

Jay noticed your discomfort almost immediately. He had always been perceptive, especially when it came to his friends - let alone his significant other. Excusing himself from the group with a confused look from a Sunghoon, he made his way over to you, concern etched on his face.

“Hey, are you alright?” he asked, his voice gentle. “Do you want to sit with me and the guys?”

You shook their head, unable to hide their fear. “I’m just… fireworks make me really anxious. I’d rather not be here at all.” You whimpered quietly.

Jay’s expression softened. He took a step closer, offering his hand. “Come on, let’s get away from the noise for a bit.” He said pulling you up and into his arms.

He led you to a quieter spot, away from the main crowd but still with a clear view of the sky. Sitting down on a bench, he motioned for you to join him, pulling you onto his lap. “It’s a lot less intense here,” he said, his tone reassuring.

You took a deep breath, feeling a bit more at ease in the quieter setting, your back rested against his chest. Jay’s presence was calming, his steady demeanor helping to quell the evident anxiety. “Thanks, Jay. I just… I don’t handle loud noises well.”

Jay nodded understandingly. “I get it. Everyone has something they’re afraid of. But you don’t have to go through it alone.” His hand traced small circles on your knee, and you squirmed slightly as Jay moved to pull something out of his pocket.

He pulled out his phone and handed you one of his earbuds. “Here, listen to some music with me. It’ll help drown out the noise.”

You accepted the earbud, slipping it in and letting the soothing melodies wash over you. Jay’s choice of music was perfect, calming and serene. As you guys listened together, the fireworks seemed less frightening, more like a distant backdrop to this shared moment.

Jay smiled, his eyes warm and kind. “See? Not so bad, right?”

You gave a small smile in return. “Yeah, it’s better. Thank you, Jay.”

He gave your shoulder a reassuring squeeze, followed by a kiss to your cheek. “Anytime, love. Just remember, I’ll always be here to help you through the tough moments.”

As the night went on, you found yourself relaxing more and more, the fear that had gripped you slowly melting away. With Jay by your side, the fireworks became a little less daunting and a lot more beautiful.

🎆🎆🎆🎆🎆🎆🎆🎆🎆🎆🎆🎆🎆🎆🎆🎆🎆🎆🎆🎆🎆🎆

Jake:

The festival was in full swing, and you and the members were enjoying the lively atmosphere of the American beach you guys currently were at. Laughter and music filled the air as everyone mingled with the crowd of older, assuming people. It was a night the boys felt like they could relax without being under the gaze of fans or paparazzi. The night had been going well until, Ni-ki, ever the playful one, had gotten his hands on a couple of sparklers and decided to set his sights on his hyungs partner- immediately running in your direction, your back to him and unaware of the light hearted game he intended to start.

However, when you turned around after hearing a loud guffaw from the maknae, the laugh that always followed once you heard Ni-ki's turned to a quiet panic as the sparklers crackled and sparked closer to you. The sudden realization of the fireworks and the noise brought a wave of fear crashing over you, that never really gripped you unless you were close to the pyro devices. You began to stumble back, stumbling into your unassuming boyfriend, unable to move, your eyes wide with terror.

Jake, immediately noticed the change in your demeanor and felt your shoulders tense as they rested against his chest.. His protective instincts kicked in, and he quickly stepped between Ni-ki and you, pushing you back behind him gently. “Ni-ki, stop!” he called out, his voice firm but not harsh.

Ni-ki halted, confused by Jake’s sudden intervention. “What’s wrong?”

Jake turned to you, his expression softening as he saw your distress. “Hey, it’s okay. I’m here,” he said gently, taking his hand and stroking your hair gently. “You’re safe.”

You looked at him, your fear slowly subsiding in the warmth of his reassuring gaze, and at the notice of the sparklers dimmed display. “I-I’m sorry. The sparklers… they scared me. I'm sorry Ni-Ki I- I know you didn't mean anything, I'm sorry-”

Jake gave your hands a comforting squeeze. “You don’t have to apologize. It’s alright to be scared.” He glanced back at Ni-ki, who was watching with a concerned expression. “Ni-ki didn’t know. He was just playing around. I'm sure he isn't upset for you being scared, it's a natural reaction babe.”

Ni-ki stepped forward, his usual playful demeanor replaced by genuine concern. “I’m really sorry, Y/N-ie. I didn’t mean to scare you. Are you okay?” He shot a look to Jake, as his lips turned downards into a guilty pout at making you scared. He adored you almost as much as Jake did, and it hurt to see that he had frightened you.

You nodded, your fear ebbing away with the support of Jake's embrace and your platonic love for Ni-Ki. “It’s okay, Ni-ki. I know you didn’t mean it. If you did, we would fight.” You said in mock seriousness, causing Ni-Ki to smile.

Jake wrapped an arm around your shoulders, guiding you away from the sparklers the other members were now lighting. “How about we find a quieter spot?” he suggested. “Somewhere we can just relax and enjoy the evening without any surprises.”

You complied happily, motioning for Ni-Ki to third wheel you and Jake. As you guys walked away, Jake kept pulling close, his presence a constant source of comfort, the protective edge still evident. Ni-ki trailed slightly behind, still feeling a bit guilty but relieved that you were alright.

Finding a small grouping of large rocks, Jake sat down with you, Ni-ki joining a moment later. The noise of the celebration was distant now, replaced by the soothing sounds of the waves.

Jake looked at you, his eyes filled with care. “I love you.”

You leaned into him, your fear long melted away. “I love you more.”

He smiled, his arm around you tightening in a protective embrace. “I don't know if that's possible.”

Ni-ki nodded in agreement, his usual playful spark returning. “Y/N-ie you should hear how often Jake Hyung talks about you. The other say he sai-”

You laughed loudly as Jake gently set you to the side to go chase Ni-Ki yelling a few phrases in Korean that while you may not have understood the meaning- you understood the tone. You felt safe and sound watching the love of your life and your guys' close friend, goof off together.

"Y/N-IE! Y/N-IE SAVE ME!" The Japanese boy laughed as he hid behind your shoulders, Jake with a handful of wet sand wound up ready to throw. "SAVE ME!"

You smiled as you saw the spark of joy in both boys' eyes and knew that your eyes mimicked theres.

And when Jake looked at you with that spark of deep, romantic love you couldn't help but let your heart thump harder at that.

Because that was one spark you would never be afraid of.

🎆🎆🎆🎆🎆🎆🎆🎆🎆🎆🎆🎆🎆🎆🎆🎆🎆🎆🎆🎆🎆🎆

Sunghoon:

The night sky was clear, perfect for the upcoming fireworks display. The excitement was palpable as you and Sunghoon, along with the rest of Enhypen, made your way to a quiet beach. The sound of the waves provided a soothing backdrop, contrasting with the buzz of anticipation among the group.

Sunghoon had always been attentive and caring, making sure you were comfortable in any situation. Tonight was no different. He kept a close eye on you, his intuition sensing your growing unease. Especially considering you had never seen fireworks before.

As the first firework shot into the sky, your heart pounded in your chest. It wasn’t the noise that bothered you, like you thought it would- rather the sudden, blinding flashes of light. You had always been sensitive to bright lights, and the unpredictability of fireworks made it even worse. The flash of the first explosion made you flinch, and you instinctively shut your eyes, your body tensing up.

Sunghoon, standing beside you, noticed your discomfort immediately. He gently placed a hand on your back, his touch grounding you. “Baby?”

You shook your head, keeping your eyes closed. Understanding dawned on his face without another word. He took your hand, leading you a little further down the beach, away from the crowd and the direct line of sight of the fireworks. The sound of the ocean grew louder, providing a calming rhythm that helped to ease your anxiety.

Sunghoon rummaged through his bag and pulled out his phone, scrolling through his watchlist and finding the drama you guys were watching together. “Fireworks not your thing huh?"

You put one of Sunghoon's earbuds in, the drama immediately capturing your attention and distracting you from the bright flashes. “I'm sorry Sungie..."

He sat beside you, his presence comforting. “Don't apologize love. You don’t have to watch them if it’s too much. We can just sit here and watch this.” He gently brought your head to his shoulder, giving it gentle pets.

You nodded, feeling a bit more at ease. “I’m sorry for being a downer.”

He shook his head, his hand finding yours. “You’re not a downer. Everyone has their fears and sensitivities. I’m just glad you tried this out. And all it told us is that maybe fireworks aren't your thing and that's totally fine baby. Its more than fine.”

As the fireworks continued, you focused on the sound of the waves and the warmth of Sunghoon’s hand, and the unfolding romance of the MCs. Occasionally, you glanced up, the intrusive action overcoming you, the feeling of Sunghoon pressing against you making the small rushes of anxiety quell when you realized how stupid it was to continue looking. Sunghoon kept you grounded, his thumb gently rubbing the back of your hand.

After a particularly bright burst that was noticeable even with your eyes on the screen, you leaned into him, finding solace in his steady presence. “Thank you.”

He smiled, pressing a kiss to your temple. “Always. I’ll always be here.”

As the final fireworks lit up the sky, you realized that with Sunghoon by your side, even the brightest flashes couldn’t overshadow the light he brought into your life. Which was corny, yet extremely true.

The atmosphere at the beach was serene, the gentle sound of the waves creating a peaceful ambiance. You and Sunghoon had found a perfect spot away from the main crowd, where the noise of the festival was a distant hum. The occasional laughter and chatter from the group added to the festive mood, but you felt a sense of calm in this quieter corner. Happy to experience this peaceful moment with him.

🎆🎆🎆🎆🎆🎆🎆🎆🎆🎆🎆🎆🎆🎆🎆🎆🎆🎆🎆🎆🎆🎆

Sunoo:

The night was vibrant with excitement as you and Sunoo joined the rest of Enhypen at a lakeside festival. Lanterns hung from trees, casting a warm glow over the gathering crowd. Everyone was eagerly awaiting the fireworks display, a highlight of the evening.

You, however, couldn’t shake the anxiety building up inside. It wasn’t the noise or the bright lights that bothered you, but the smoke. The thick, suffocating smoke that lingered after each explosion, making it hard to breathe and triggering a deep-seated fear of feeling trapped and helpless.

As the first firework shot into the sky, you instinctively took a step back, your chest tightening as the smoke began to spread. Sunoo, standing beside you, noticed your discomfort immediately. His eyes widened with concern. “Are you okay?” he asked, his voice gentle and caring.

You shook your head, trying to steady your breathing. “It’s the smoke… I can’t handle it. It makes me feel like I’m suffocating.”

Understanding dawned on Sunoo’s face. Without hesitation, he took your hand and led you away from the crowd, towards a quieter part of the lake where the air was clearer, but the display was still visible. The gentle lapping of the water against the shore provided a calming soundtrack, and the breeze helped to dissipate the lingering smoke.

“Here, let’s sit down,” Sunoo suggested, guiding you to a bench under a large tree. The foliage provided some cover, making it feel like a safe haven away from the chaos. He sat down beside you, his hand still holding yours firmly.

You took a deep breath, the fresh air helping to calm your racing heart. Sunoo quickly peeled off his jacket, smelling it quickly and then placing it over your shoudlers.

You looked at him with an odd look and he scratched the back of his neck.

"I thought maybe the smell of my cologne would help with the smell of smoke..."

You felt a warmth fill you as you brought the soft fabric up to your nostrils, smiling as you inhaled. "Your not gettin gthis back, Sunny..."

He chuckles and ruffled your hair. "Wouldn't want in any other way, babe."

The two of you sat in comfortable silence for a moment, the sounds of the festival fading into the background. Sunoo’s presence was reassuring, his calm demeanor helping to ease your anxiety. As the fireworks continued in the distance, you focused on the stars reflected in the lake, finding solace in their steady, unchanging light.

“Do you want to talk about it?” Sunoo asked softly, his eyes filled with concern and care, noticing that even though you had a soft smile on your face, something was still troubling you.

You nodded, feeling a bit more at ease. “It’s just… the smoke reminds me of a time when I was trapped in a fire. The feeling of being unable to breathe, the panic… it all comes rushing back when I see that thick smoke- or not even see it some cases just the smell.”

Sunoo’s eyes widened with empathy, and he gently pulled you into a hug. “I’m so sorry you went through that. It must have been terrifying.”

You leaned into his embrace, feeling the warmth of his compassion. “It was. But being here with you, away from the smoke, makes it better. Its not as hard..."

He held you a little tighter, his voice filled with sincerity. "I can stay here for as long as you need. Forever even.” You smirked at his cheesiness, a small snort exuding from your nose.

As the fireworks display came to a close, the sky returned to its natural state, dotted with twinkling stars. The blurry haze no longer hiding their beauty. You and Sunoo remained by the lake, enjoying the peaceful atmosphere. The fear and anxiety had ebbed away, replaced by a sense of calm and safety.

“You know,” Sunoo said with a soft smile, “I think this is my favorite part of the night. Just being here with you, away from the noise and smoke, enjoying the quiet.”

You smiled, feeling a deep sense of gratitude and love. “Mine too. Thank you, Sunoo..”

He leaned in and pressed a gentle kiss to your forehead. “Always. I’m here for you, no matter what. That's what you do for people you love.”

🎆🎆🎆🎆🎆🎆🎆🎆🎆🎆🎆🎆🎆🎆🎆🎆🎆🎆🎆🎆🎆🎆

Jungwon:

The city skyline was breathtaking, a tapestry of glowing lights and towering buildings. You and Jungwon had joined the rest of Enhypen on the rooftop of a skyscraper, an exclusive spot to watch the fireworks display. The city below buzzed with energy, the streets filled with people eagerly anticipating the show.

The rooftop offered a perfect vantage point, but you couldn't shake the growing sense of dread. It wasn’t the noise or the bright flashes that bothered you, but the sparks. The idea of fiery sparks raining down made you incredibly anxious. As the first firework shot into the sky, you felt a wave of fear wash over you. You gripped the railing tightly, your knuckles turning white. You hadn't expected it to be this bad, but you could feel the heat. You knew you weren't imagining it. You should have known that the higher you climbed to see the fireworks the closer you'd be.

Jungwon, standing beside you, noticed your discomfort immediately. His eyes filled with concern as he gently touched your arm. “Hey, are you okay?”

You shook your head, trying to steady your breathing. “It’s the sparks… I’m afraid they might fall on us.”

Understanding dawned on his face, even if he wasn't met with the same concern. Without hesitation, he took your hand and led you away from the edge, towards a sheltered corner of the rooftop where a canopy provided some cover. The city lights below were still visible, and so were the fireworks, but you felt a little more protected.

“Here, let’s sit down,” Jungwon suggested, guiding you to a spot where you could lean against the wall. He sat beside you, his hand never leaving yours.

You took a deep breath, the solid surface behind you helping to calm your racing heart. “Thank you, Jungwon. I’m sorry for ruining the evening.”

He shook his head, his expression soft and understanding. “You didn’t ruin anything. Your comfort and safety are more important than fireworks.” He squeezed your hand gently. “I had no idea the sparks affected you like this. Its good I know now.”

He leaned his head on your shoulder looking up at you. "You know, I don't even need to watch the fireworks when the prettiest sight is right in front of me."

You giggle and kiss Jungwon's forehead. "You're too cute."

As the fireworks display came to a close, you were almost kind of sad. You liked being here with Wonnie, feeling his warmth and electricity and scorching touch rather than that of the fireworks. Despite the show being over you and Jungwon remained on the rooftop, enjoying the peaceful atmosphere. The fear and anxiety had ebbed away, replaced by a sense of calm and safety.

"“You know,” Jungwon said with a soft smile, “I think this is my favorite part of the night. Just being here with you, away from the noise and chaos, enjoying the quiet.

You heard the members calling for you on the other side of the roof and Jungwon sighed.

"But I wanna stay with you." He whined.

You smiled, feeling a deep sense of gratitude and love. “You have no choice but to stay with me forever...” You warn, causing a smile to show.

He leaned in and pressed a gentle kiss to your forehead. “Always. I’m never ever gonna leave.”

He ignored his members, and ignored the way Jake was running towards you guys like a happy little puppy - obviously wanting to tease you too - and just let himself enjoy the last few moments of peace with you, letting that warmth of your love burn in him just as it burned in you.

🎆🎆🎆🎆🎆🎆🎆🎆🎆🎆🎆🎆🎆🎆🎆🎆🎆🎆🎆🎆🎆🎆

Ni-Ki:

The dance studio was bathed in the soft glow of city lights filtering through the windows. Tonight, instead of rehearsals, it served as a refuge from the explosive bursts of fireworks that illuminated the night sky outside. You had sought solace here, away from the chaotic beauty that filled the air with bursts of color and unexpected shadows.

For you, it wasn't the noise or the brightness that unsettled you, but rather the bustling crowds that had gathered to watch the fireworks display. The distant cheers and excited chatter pierced through the walls, reminding you of the overwhelming sensation of being surrounded by oceans of people who had gathered.

Ni-ki had noticed your discomfort immediately, letting you lead him to the studio without question. His usual exuberance and playful demeanor was tempered by a quiet concern as he approached you after flicking on the lights. Without a word, he held out his hand; a silent invitation to dance. You hesitated for only a moment, meeting his gaze before tentatively placing your hand in his; letting him guide you to the middle of the room.

Together, at the center of the studio, where the mirrored walls reflected fragments of the fireworks' light you listened to the ambient music from earlier rehearsals that had just needed to be un-paused before it started to play softly. It provided a gentle backdrop, a soothing contrast to the night's unexpected twist of intimacy.

Ni-ki started to dance, his movements were fluid and reassuring. He lead you with a gentle touch, guiding you through a series of steps that mirror the ebb and flow of your emotions. With each movement, he whispered silent assurances of safety and understanding and affection.

You followed his lead, your body responding to the unspoken language of dance. In Ni-ki's embrace, you feel a sense of security that overcame the bustling crowds outside. His presence was a steady anchor amidst the chaos of your fears, grounding you in the here and now.

As you dance, the distant cheers and excited chatter of the crowds continue to echo in the background. Your tension gradually began to melt away, replaced by a growing sense of connection and release in your boyfriends arms. Each step you take together became a testament to the trust you shared. The love you shared.

You and Ni-ki moved as one. With each graceful movement, you felt yourself finally reach a state of contentment.

As the last firework fades into the night sky, Ni-ki pulled you gently into his arms, your heartbeats a steady rhythm against each other. He peppered kisses all over your face. In that moment, beneath the canopy of mirrored reflections and city lights, you know that your fear has been met not with words or reassurances, but with the quiet strength of the one you loved, without even needing the exchange of words.

@abovenyx @wolfs-archive @oddracha @

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[vegaseatsass]

The Sol-tuation is a lot more nuanced than that!!

Who knew I, an absolutely feral Mingjoe shipper, would end up making so many posts about the secondary love interest who never stood a chance with our protagonist, but I truly think they're doing some fascinating things with this character and it hurts a little to see so so so many fandom reactions that take what's happening on the surface as the full story with no interest in peeling back those appearances.

I will say before I start: huge credit to @zhouxiangs for so many of these opinions, she shared a few insights about Sol with me today that completely reshaped my interpretation of the character, so thank you x 2389234, this post is not exclusively My thoughts. (Also SolYim as a ship is galaxy brain and the only thing I now want for Sol's future. Thank you for that TOO)

So I very much understand why what it appears Sol is doing - ignoring Joe's clear lack of interest in him to pursue him, taking every opportunity to touch him, and working overtime to prevent Joe from seeing the truth about Ming and his obvious devotion, so he can still "win" Joe instead - is rubbing a lot of people the wrong way. Straight up, situations where people I'm not romantically interested in have pursued me despite my clear and direct (and often hard-fought because I used to be a huge people pleaser) "no" are something I hope to avoid for the rest of my natural life. Relentless pursuit can be a sexy fantasy if you want someone back, as Joe does Ming, but for most of us, it's emotionally pressuring nightmare fuel if you don't.

But I would argue that's really not what's happening. An extremely essential missing piece of context to Sol's behavior is that Joe died because of his relationship with Ming, and Sol spent years grieving him. In episode 9 in particular, they're all face-to-face with the cold hard truth of that grief, and I don't think Sol is any exception, even if he knows Joe is back now. In episode 8, Sol confirmed Joe was back, and he was so euphorically happy, but he was not pushing and shoving Joe to hop into a relationship with him, was he? He was just delighted Joe was alive. But this episode, he's suddenly faced with the very real prospect that Ming and Joe still have feelings for each other. That Joe may return to the man who got him killed. Who Sol, in his own eyes, failed to protect Joe from in his first life, even though Sol so badly wanted to pay back Joe's sincerity to him. And I think the threat of losing Joe again is making Sol (who ran back to Korea instead of processing his grief and guilt over his death) a little insane.

I mean, let's talk about Sol in Joe's first life. After Joe told him he couldn't return his feelings, did we see any inkling of this frantic episode 9 pushiness? Sure, there was the moment where he tried to convince Joe that he and Ming were incompatible, after watching Ming need to hide Joe from his family in what I'm sure read as shame to Sol. I can give Sol some grace for this knowing he struggled with coming to terms with his own sexuality (see: the first time he ran away to Korea), and is now trying to overcompensate for who he was in the past, but you don't have to give him this grace if you don't want to. I can admit his desire to support Joe as a friend is compromised by the tumultuousness of his longing for Joe. Like there's also the fight with Ming on the staircase where Joe gets knocked down and Sol and Ming just keep fighting. Sol is not a saintly unselfish being who keeps his feelings and his desire to protect and support Joe perfectly separate, by any means. (To me this is part of why he's interesting and human, but I get that we all have different character preferences.)

But dinner with Ming's family aside, when first life Joe tells Sol he doesn't want to be with him, Sol lets it go and is happy living in the friend zone. When Joe tells him not to come over and intervene when he's trying to break up with Ming, Sol listens. Sol believes that Joe can handle himself and he respects the boundaries that Joe sets, regardless of what he wants or hopes in the privacy of his own heart.

And what happens without Sol's intervention? Without anyone's intervention? Joe dies. Joe is chained up in a basement - Joe was not safe with Ming, Joe was not able to clear the situation up using just his words - and blacklisted from the industry, driven to desperate financial straits and killed.

So my read of Sol is that he's scrambling to make himself a shield. He thought he was already in a role where he could support Joe, this time around, but this episode raised the threat of Joe going back to Ming and dying again, and now he's frantically trying to change himself into something that can actually keep Joe from doing that. If Joe suddenly decided he wanted to be with Sol and not Ming, would Sol be happy on his own behalf? Of course, I'm not denying that. But I really think so much of the desperation to offer himself as a romantic choice is to try to show Joe he has options that aren't Ming, to try to intervene in ways he didn't in Joe's first life, at any cost.

You can't force someone not to return to an abusive partner, the same way you can't force someone not to commit suicide, or make any other choice where they could get hurt or disappear from your life forever. It's a necessary journey for everyone, to realize you have to respect your loved ones' agency even when they're making choices that terrify you to your core. Sol has not learned that yet, and I'm not defending how pushy and out of pocket he was being this episode. But I'm really, really sympathetic to the absolutely frantic terror that I think was underlying it. If you've never had a suicidal loved one or a loved one trapped in a destructive cycle, it's easy enough to expect Sol to do the right things (the actually HELPFUL and supportive things), instead of the toxic, selfish things. For me he's a far richer and more human character for making the wrong choices, though. For being selfish, but not about wanting to possess Joe and force his feelings Sol's way. About wanting to keep Joe alive and unharmed by force, instead of trusting Joe to make his own choices. Again: you have to let people decide these things for themselves. You have to! If you don't support your loved ones' agency, any other support you think you're offering them is useless and suffocating and will genuinely compound whatever they're dealing with, make it much harder for them to heal, leave, etc - whatever the "healthy" choice is, they can't make it with you forcing them into it. They can't make it without you surrendering to the possibility of them making the "unhealthy" choice; without you accepting that it is their choice. But for a fictional character to go from "genuinely supportive friend" to "publicly announcing you're in a branded relationship a day after your own funeral" because he sees you slipping from his grasp - not emotionally, but potentially literally, metaphysically, permanently, AGAIN - well, to me, that's juicy and compelling.

I'm also more sympathetic to Sol than to Wut when it comes to telling Joe that Ming loves him, frankly. I think Joe needs an impartial friend (Yim!!!) that he can process all his Ming issues with openly, because it is never helpful to feel like because your friends know that your abuser/ex/etc harmed you, you can never go to them to process the moments of kindness and love. Joe needs to be able to look at the full picture of who Ming is and what Ming feels and decide for himself, he doesn't need Sol strongarming him out of accepting that Ming is capable of both great cruelty and great love. But Wut always takes the path of least resistance and it absolutely maddens me. To just say, with no qualification, "The man I and only I know knocked you out and kept you locked in a basement loves you, actually" is absolutely insane and irresponsible. I do not for a second believe Wut was ready to express nuance, to say, like, "I think Ming loves you in his own way, but that love is dangerous and possessive and I hope you stay away." If we see anything in the text that demonstrates otherwise I'm happy to be wrong about this, and then I would be in the "Let Wut speak!" camp. But for now, I do think he was going to play the role of an enabler, just because he finds it easier to let Ming handle Joe's estate and be in Joe's life than to fight it. Lol it still doesn't make Sol right to try to keep Joe from seeing the full picture, but I'm sympathetic to him going wtf, Wut? Do you really think Ming loves him? knowing what Wut knows.

Anyway this is sooooo long so I will try to wrap it up, but I wanted to also talk about Sol and Joe and physical touch. Like I said at the beginning, I totally understand seeing how often Sol hugs Joe or grabs him and feeling uncomfortable imagining yourself in Joe's shoes. But as uncomfortable as EYE would be with Sol's affections, I want to try to analyze how Joe the character feels about all this. Now one of the things I most love about this series is the opaqueness of all the characters' choices, how there is always ambiguity and room for more than one interpretation. So if you watch the scenes where Sol puts his hands on Joe and think Joe looks trapped or unhappy, that is your prerogative! I noticed that the two times he shook Sol's touch off in the episode were when he thought Sol was going to stop him from breaking into his loft, and when he thought Sol was going to cause a scandal with Ming at the press party. Otherwise, from where I sit (my interpretation only!), Joe does not appear to experience Sol's touch as something unwanted or unsafe. I would actually make the argument that having someone he's known for years sharing a bed with him, hugging him, holding his hand, etc, could be offering Joe essential tactile comfort he's not getting from anyone else while he's in the midst of grieving his past life. For all we know, the level of physical intimacy between them is something that completely predates Sol acknowledging his feelings. This could be a normal level of touchiness between them, and not an example of Sol "taking liberties" or trying to force his way into Joe's heart.

To me the upshot of everything is that Joe, to my eyes, seems to feel completely safe with Sol and his professed feelings. When Sol brings his feelings up again when they're getting their makeup done, Joe's response ("how did the conversation turn to this?") pinged me as playful, affectionate, not uncomfortable and pressured. Joe is absolutely terrified of Ming's feelings for him and, significantly, what they would do to Joe's feelings for Ming - he is keeping himself away from Ming by the power of "You don't love me and never did" and when that crumbles so will most of his ability to resist him, I think - but Sol's feelings can't do anything to Joe. They can't make him want things he doesn't want, and they can't make him want things he doesn't want to want. I would argue that Sol is a friend that Joe feels safe around, and his open crush on Joe causes a bit of awkwardness, to be sure, but it doesn't make Joe feel pressured to do anything but be himself. When he's with Sol, he's not afraid of Sol, Sol's feelings, or Joe's feelings. I think that's important to acknowledge! The same way that Sol needs to accept that Joe is allowed to make the choice to go back to Ming and it's never been in Sol's hands, imo fandom needs to accept that if Joe is comfortable with Sol and his affections, we can't argue that he is being pressured by them, or in danger, or anything else.

But that's just my interpretation! I am happy to be disagreed with, haha. I just think Sol is as rich and interesting a character as Ming, but many of us as viewers have more trouble with flawed and selfish kindness (Sol) than we do with complex cruelty (Ming). But I love flawed and selfish kindness. I love characters who are trying so hard to be good and to take care of people they love, and fucking it up and not seeing the ways their wants and fears are getting in the way. So I love Sol. And obviously have a lot to say about him lol.

[lopposting]

On the freckles + Geppetto (Spoilers below)

Geppetto saying "it looks like you inherited his personality instead of his memories" is very very suspicious, and he says "personality" with such disdain - if you were a father who loved their child, wouldn't you want them to retain their core persona of who they were, than remember exactly everything from your past? I don't know, is it just me, or doesn't it feel like it's more important? I know memories make us who we are, but it still really came across as a deliberate piece of dialogue to word

Geppetto didn't want Carlo back, he specifically wants an obedient version of him, the rotting/preserved corpse body puppet is to show that Carlo was long gone. Remember that one of the most important decisions in the game is granting Sophia "her peace", which is her having the choice to end her own life. And then the nameless puppet is revealed, and it's as if Carlo is being kept alive against his own will (like as Simon does with Sophia). no wonder carlo didn't like him, the really disturbing thing is that nameless puppet still defies Geppetto in the end which suggests that it/(he??) is still somewhat conscious?? .. wat.

Another Character design I've noticed... and this is me making BIG leaps, by the way, I don't mean to make any statement on korean culture as a whole, but skin has a lot of symbolic meaning, and importance, in korean society. I know every country has stuff like this, but it seems really significant here considering this is a korean studio, ill try to get into why

P has very noticeable freckles on his skin, I can even say that they're hard to ignore (especially his right cheek), they're even visible in promotional material. and the irony is that he possesses these "flaws" and is more human-like despite being "artificial", he also has visible pores!! something completely natural, human, that stringent societal norms might deem as "imperfect"

Freckles can be seen as "imperfections" in korean culture (I mean I can only guess, and I suppose this negative perception is a little the same in the west as well?), they have this term called "glass skin" which is what is deemed as the "ideal": zero blemishes, really even tone, and often lighter in tone is seen as "beautiful", and there's a lot of pressure to be that way. It's a really pervasive idea that I don't think I am in the position to really talk about, and I don't mean to demean the culture, it's not like this is exclusive to korea/asia, I'm just mentioning it to explain this in the context of the game

And then "Carlo" doesn't have ANY of these things. He has "PERFECT" skin, those freckles are just gone. I feel like this isn't just a mistake. it kind of gets a message across about Geppetto's real intentions in reviving him. I mean, it's possible that maybe it's more of a siblings situation, and Carlo simply just didn't have freckles? but if you think about it from a storytelling perspective, remember that Geppetto refers to him as "mischievous", an odd translation maybe, but everything else suggests that the real Carlo was actually deeply defiant of his father while he was alive, again I think it sends a message about Giuseppe re-creating his son but without the things he saw as "flaws" in his son that he didn't like

yeah... loving this game more and more by the day

[azaprocky]

┃ pairings ➣ 〔 ❛ nijiro murakami x fem!reader ❜ 〕

┃ summary ➣ 〔 ❛ Love is something that keeps people together; it brings happiness to everyone, however can it still be called love if you feel so unseen and so alone? this is a story that tell us how some people can make you feel that you're not so alone in this cruel world but can also make you feel so undesirable to the point that it slowly drains you and you had no choice but to let go.❜ 〕

┃ face claim ➣ 〔 ❛ Jeon Soyeon ❜ 〕

┃ warnings ➣ 〔 ❛ cheating allegations, cancel culture, su1cide attempt, depression, mistreatment, exploitation and cursing ❜ 〕

┃ mentioning ➣ 〔 ❛ Kento Yamazaki, (G)-idle members, Hwang In-Yeop, Ikeda Elaiza, Nana Komatsu, Masaki Usada and Aina The End ❜ 〕

We all know the famous quote "Right person, Wrong time" ... imagine you met someone you truly see your future with but destiny decided to go against you, but have you heard of the line "it hurts to be something it's worse to be nothing with you" from "Promise" by Laufey, it perfectly describes how a person let go of a someone they truly love because they felt like the love is not there anymore and it's slowly but surely draining them however there's a place in their heart that still longs so much for the presence of that certain someone, it's weird right?

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I didn't think you'd understand me, How could you ever even try?

(Y/n) entered her apartment where her boyfriend Nijiro was also staying, in the vibrant and modern Gangnam-gu after a long tiring session in the studio for their comeback "Superlady".

"Sweetheart?" She called out as her eyes roam around the apartment removing her shoes, after a few minutes no voice was heard "weird" she whispered to herself so she decided to enter the living room because maybe Nijiro is so immersed in a video game or an anime but when she finally reached her expecting to see Nijiro slumped in the white coach with a headphone on his head while hugging couch pillow and her coffee table full of snacks.

But instead she saw a bouquet of her favorite flowers, a letter and an expensive necklace laid on the coffee table, (Y/n) slowly walked to the coffee table and bent down to reach the letter, she breathed deeply before opening it, it was quite a long letter with a bit messy but readable writing, it was clear that Nijiro wrote this, the letter contains;

To my sunshine,

‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ It's Nijiro, if it isn't obvious... I know I'm not the type of person to write letters but I just don't know how to say this to you personally — I'm afraid of what you'll say to me, I'm afraid that I'll be a burden to you since I know during this time you're busy with recording and stuff... But to say the point of this letter I left... I left your apartment, South Korea and maybe this relationship, I know that I sound like an asshole right now but please let me explain.

‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ These past few days I felt so down, I feel like I want to end my life, I wanted to seek help at you but I didn't want to, I was afraid of being ignored like the many times you ignored my pleads for help... remember last week when I called you and my voice was shaking, I almost attempted at your apartment and at that moment all I wanted was you... but you said you're busy so I faked a smile and assured you, at that moment I felt alone I didn't felt like I was in a relationship with someone who love me, I sound so selfish but gosh, it hurts (Y/n), so much.

‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ So today I decided leave, to not look back, I felt like you didn't understand that I was having a hard time to stay alive right now...that you didn't understand how much I need you right now, I always tried to understand you and your career oriented lifestyle but this time I will put myself and understand myself more.

( ps. The necklace is supposed to be my gift for you for our upcoming anniversary, its contains the coordinate of the vacation house we always wanted in Jeju, I hope that will bring you happiness :] )

‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ love, Nijiro

(Y/n) dropped the letter breaking down on the floor of her apartment, she felt so dissapointed at her self-how could she be so selfish?! She wanted to call Nijiro but it was too late, she knew that once Nijiro makes up his mind it will be the last time.

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Just wanna let this story die, And I'll be alright

your.username uploaded a new post!

your.username

liked by konichan7, noodle.zip, min.nicha and 2,698,597 others

your.username ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ '슈퍼레이디' MV 공개! 우리를 위한 새로운 시대 슈퍼레이디 + 제주덤프 😉🥂 (‘Superlady’ MV is released! a new era for us Super Ladies + Jeju Dump)

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gidleyuqilovx ‎ ‎ mother's glowing for some reason, idfk and idgaf, wishing you guys a successful comeback!

noodle.zip ‎ ‎ 제주를 즐기시기 바랍니다, 보고 싶습니다! 🥰☀️ (I hope you are enjoying Jeju, we miss you!)

liked by creator!

nijidlelvr ‎ ‎ wtf? that's weird... Nijiro didn't like (Y/n)'s post?? did they broke up?

idlemincha ‎ ‎ right??! he always likes her post minutes after posting

jungjison 넌 빛나고 있어 (Y/n) 언니!! 😍😍

(you're glowing, (y/n) unnie!!)

njr_mk uploaded a story!

( Translation: A new beginning, a chance to prioritize yourself :) )

(Y/n) heard the knock from the meeting room, she sighed deeply before standing up, her manager looked at you and said:

"(Y/n) you ready?" Her manager asked, she just nodded nervously, she was unsure this was the right idea; her and Nijiro's relationship are one of the popular and beloved couple in both the Korean and Japanese entertainment industry she didn't want to ruin their supporters' heart however she cannot change her mind now when everything has been set and planned so she just sighed deeply when her manager stood up to greet (G)-Idle's publicist.

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Me and my truth, we sit in silence, 'Cause I don't wanna argue, but I don't wanna bite, My tongue, yeah, I think I'd rather die.

(G)-Idle's (Y/n) and Nijiro Murakami had broken up after 3 years of being in a relationship as reported by Cube Entertainment earlier this day.

(Y/n) and Nijiro Murakami started dating back in 2021, based on reports the two had met in a party organized by a common friend in 2019, the two were close friends before becoming lovers. September of 2021 the two was confirmed to be dating and is in a long distance relationship.

The two was also nicknamed by both k-netz and international fans as the asian version of the former couple, Taylor Swift and Joe Alwyn; a lot had l said that the former couple, (Y/n) and Nijiro, was a refreshing combination and would last a lifetime.

However, everyone was shocked when Cube Entertainment released a statement that the couple has recently called it quits:

❝

two months ago our artist, (G)-Idle's (Y/n) and Japanese Actor Nijiro Murakami had decided to go their seperate ways because of their busy schedules; the break up was mutually decide, please respect their privacy.

— Cube Entertainment, February 01, 2024.

‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ❞

Decade, The agency of Nijiro Murakami, still hasn't released a statement.

Some fans already figured out that they broke up after a cryptic story posted by Nijiro a week ago.

Source: [1] [2]

Nijiro is in his trailer getting ready for his shooting today for Alice in Borderland season 3 when the break up article was posted.

He's currently scrolling through his phone peacefully when suddenly his manager rushed to his side to show him the article, "Is this serious, why didn't she consult us first before releasing this statement?!" His manager said in a anxious tone clearly afraid of what will be the assumptions of the fans will make for his client.

"It's fine, Toshio-san, (Y/n) actually reached out to me before releasing the announcement, I was the one who approved about what will be said and what will not" Nijiro answered calmly putting his phone down at the vanity "I don't want to release any statements please, because I don't want to feed to mountain full of theories made by her fans or my fans, I want protect my peace right now and what truly happened between us to be private" he added in a serious tone, a sigh left his mouth when his manager started listing things off to try to convince him to release a statemnt

"Toshio-san, it's fine, we're gonna be fine, I just wanna move on okay?" Nijiro smiled assuringly before going back on his phone, his manager just nodded clearly defeated from the argument.

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Know that you made me, I don't like how you paint me

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It's something like a daydream, But I feel so seen in the night

First encounter, september 2019

Upbeat music and echoes of laughter filled the residence of Kento Yamazaki in Tokyo, Yamazaki is celebrating his first ever nextflix series, Alice in Borderland, the party is filled by recognizable actors and actresses like Suda Masaki, Nana Komatsu, Kiko Mizuhara, Dori Sakurada and others, Yamazaki's guests can be seen dancing and drinking in different spots of his living room, but one of Yamazaki's most close friend is missing and that's (Y/n) who felt a bit out of place and decided to walk around the actor's property.

(Y/n) decided to go to the backyard when she saw that there's no one in there and since she wanted to breath for a moment but when she arrived at the backyard, to her suprise, (Y/n) saw a guy with medium length black hair wearing a gray polo with a white shirt underneath and black pants who seems like smoking and hanging out by the porch swing, she contemplated to either go back to the party or be with this stranger and after a few minutes of thinking this may be unlike her...but she decided to rather be with a random guy than a party that makes her head hurt from all the loudness.

As she walks closely, the sound of her heels on the concrete tile on the backyard couldn't help but be heard by Nijiro who's now sighing, feeling the presence of another person so he reluctantly decided to drop his cigarettes on the floor and step on it, he's not someone who smokes regularly since he only does this when he's bored and sometimes overwhelmed , "Sorry to disturb you but I just really need to get away fromthe party" (Y/n) said with a bit of punctured japanese, she knew how to speak Japanese since her dad is Japanese however she wasn't used in speaking in that language; (Y/n) felt a little embarrassed feeling like she may be disturbing someone who's wanting some peace of mind like her "No, it's fine" Nijiro replied sighing again as he looks up to fully face the woman in front of him and the first thought that came to his mind was "wow, she looks foreign and... pretty" he looks at her a bit longer than normal

"Why are you here anyway?" He asked the girl clearing his throat and looking at the pool Infront of them as he noticed himself staring at her so much "I felt a bit out of place there, I'm not really close with anyone there except Nana and Kento" she answered sitting at the porch swing beside him but leaving enough space for them to not touch each other, "Same, im not really the one for partying too—how'd you know Kento by the way?" He replied now looking at the girl beside him he was clearly curious how'd she know Kento because this was the first time to see her on one of his close friends.

"Well, this may be a suprise but we're f*ck buddies" (Y/n) said that in the most convincing voice she could master, of course she was joking she met Kento during her childhood days because Kento's house and her grand parents' house was beside each other. Nijiro faced form a face of disbelief, it was he was shocked and couldn't bring himself to speak, however his face turn into confusion when (Y/n) laughed "you actually believed that?! I'm just joking, we're childhood friends" she said "is it okay if I said I was relieved? I was so shocked" Nijiro laughed "yeah, we're actually childhood friends, we met because during childhood his family's house and my grandparents home are neighbors" She continued as she looks at the sky above her

"You? How'd you know Kento?" She asked now looking at the guy beside him "Oh um, we're co stars at his Netflix series, it's mandatory for us casts to interact with each other" Nijiro answered "And I'm Nijiro, Nijiro Murakami, You?" He introduces himself since he was slightly taken a back being called "You" "Hi Nijiro, im (Y/n) (Y/l/n)" the girl Infront her introduces herself and for the second time Nijiro was shocked, he heard that name before "Wait, you're (G)-Idle's (Y/n)?! My sister is a big fan of your group!" Nijiro said shocked "oh really?" (Y/n) said shocked, she didn't knew or expected that someone from another is already a fan of their group

"Yeah, you're her favorite too" Nijiro continued laughing as he remembered the amount of time his sister speaks to him about (G)-idle, "So what's like being an idol?" He asked feeling abit awkward since the only sound can be heard was the trees and the water from the pool swaying from the cold night breeze "Stressful, it's something that both brings me joy and stress" the idol answered laughing slightly "How so?" Nijiro asked clearly confused "Well our company isn't really that supportive and sometimes we have to think of strategies that will help up whenever we have a comeback" she answered "especially I'm the leader so I felt like I'm the one who's responsible on anything that will happen" (Y/n) continued sighing, she was tired from all of the things she did like begging their CEO to give them some funds "Wow, I'm really sorry to hear that... but for me I really appreciate how you're so selfless, I admire that" the actor smiled comforting the woman Infront him in a way "You're great" he added "Thank you, Nijiro" (Y/n) was shocked and a little bit flustered

"How about you? What's your story?" the idol asked "Well, since I was young I was never really fond of being famous since that's one of the reasons my parents fought about but I don't know something switched and then I decided to audition and stuff... I wasn't really proud on some of my first roles" Nijiro answered his voice trailing off a bit "My first movies kind of exploited me and stuff—i don't really want to talk about that and like right now I feel like I'm not in control of things that's going on in my life" the actor continued his tone shifting to a more upset tone clearly dissapointed on what he become

"That's such a hellish experience to feel, I'm really sorry, I know that things will get better for you, you're really nice and I know nice people will experience nice things in their life sooner or later" the idol couldn't help but smile at the actor beside him while patting his back, she felt so sad hearing the story of the man who she thought got his life together "Thank y—" Nijiro was suddenly cut off when he heard Kento's voice "Aish Lovebirds! My party is not some dating place!" Kento said acting like he was angry but a smile was clearly plastered on his face "get inside now guys" after Kento had said that he left letting the two be

"Well let's head to that hell hole now, wish you luck" Nijiro joked as he stood up helping the woman beside him to stand up too "Thank you by the way, I really appreciate what you said" he added smiling "You're welcome and umm can I get your number? I really enjoyed talking to you" (Y/n) asked, this was the first time she asked for a guy's number she never felt so desperate

"oh yeah! Of course! I was about to ask you that to" Nijiro laughed as the Idol got her phone out of her pocket to get the actor's number.

Imagine an Actor and an Idol suddenly meeting up, different worlds had collided, different lives with different struggles but one thing that they both have in common is a fractured life, little did they know that they will both mend and heal each other's lives.

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So for now, it's only me and maybe that's all I need

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Wait for your love, Love, I'll wait for your love

"I really appreciate you guys coming to our concert" (Y/n) said, they are currently at the backstage of the concert venue after the concert, she once again hugged Nana, Masaki, Sora and Aina thanking them for attending her group's concert despite their busy schedules, she couldn't help but sneak a glance to Nijiro who's currently talking to Minnie and Yuqi.

As the four said their farewells to the other members, unfortunately for them, (Y/n) and Nijiro was left alone, the idol couldn't help but feel awkward with her former lover who's now looking at her from the other side of the room, Nijiro, on the other hand, is debating whether to approach her or just leave her be, after a few minutes he came to the conclusion that he should just take the opportunity to talk to her "Fuck it" he said approaching the idol, "Hey (Y/n), it's been awhile" Nijiro greeted (Y/n) a small smile appearing on his lips "Yeah it is" the idol answered a bit too emotionless, she wasn't exactly happy to see the actor but neither she's angry to see him.

"I just wanted to maybe invite you and your members to Reinbō Sukai Suteiburuzu in Okinawa, it's a thank you gift since you are the one who mostly designed the café... and the only person who had helped me to pursue this business" the actor got from his packet a beige card that contains the contact details "I will really appreciate if you can come" he continued smiling as (Y/n) took the call card from his hand

"Thanks, I'll ask them if they want to, I'll just call you — you haven't changed your number right?" (Y/n) asked a subtle smile is etched on her face, she couldn't help but feel happy on what Nijiro had said earlier "Yes" the man nodded "Well seems that we have to go, it's nice seeing you again, I'll be waiting for your call" Nijiro bid his farewell a big smile appears on his lips as him and his companions left the backstage

"So (Y/n), are we going or are we going?!" Minnie asked smiling, the members couldn't help but eavesdrop to the conversation that happened between their leader and her ex who also became their brother, "SAY YES!" Yuqi begged while Shuhua is squealing like a maniac also begging for their leader to say yes, "But it's your choice (Y/n)" Miyeon entered the conversation smiling at the younger girl assuringly "Sure" (Y/n) said sighing thinking that this would be a great way for her and her group members to bond and maybe rest after a long tiring week, hearing that the members squealed with Joy.

[theoneprecioustome]

Aikoto Moments Masterlist: Episode Aigis

This list will focus on the remake. To see how it fares in comparison to the original, check this post.

Notes:

Since Makoto isn’t actually in the game, most of the list will focus on Aigis' side of their bond as well as the little things that connect them.

There will also be third party quotes about Aigis’ bond with Makoto.

I bolded the most important moments.

The post is image heavy & contains spoilers for the entire game.

When that person died, there was nothing she could do to bear the pain. The machine girl found herself thinking that she had no use for a heart that did nothing but let her feel pain. And thus, the girl's heart became a blue butterfly, which took flight, and the pain in her chest disappeared. However, in its stead, there was now a large, gaping, empty hole in her chest. The emptiness in her chest didn't hurt, but it also did not let her feel anything. She wasn't alive anymore. Nothing but an empty shell, devoid of emotions, cursed to stand still in time where she was forever with no place to move forward to. — Episode Aigis Epilogue, Persona 3 Official Fanbook. Translation by Nenilein.

PROMOS

✤ The Key Visual of Episode Aigis features Aikoto. What's more, it reveals that Makoto in the original P3R art was meant to be looking at Aigis all along, like two halves of a whole.

✤ Soejima released an illustration to celebrate Episode Aigis. The illustration features Aikoto & Metis.

✤ The First Edition of the Episode Aigis soundtrack comes with a double-sided Aikoto box featuring the Key Visual and their AOA attacks. This is what Lotus Juice had to say about it:

"In the cover, you see P3HERO and Aigis looking at each other... if you open it, they'll be separated... like they're almost within reach of each other, but aren't. I wonder if that feeling gets across to fans as well? It's very beautifully done."

✤ SEGA Korea welcomed September with an Aikoto Calendar featuring the Episode Aigis Key Art (alternative link).

✤ HINEMOS released two more Aikoto Sake bottles to commemorate the release of Episode Aigis.

OPENING

✤ Episode Aigis features an exclusive opening & song focused on Aigis' feelings after Makoto's loss. Full lyrics here and Analysis in the post linked above!

(Lost without you) But little things like the scent of his cologne Is a painful remindеr that he’s gone It feels like my heart is suffocating How do you make amends when you’re gone from me? Even though with a win, how come I feel so lost? Nothing makes sense to me I’m so numb, so lost without you

BATTLE SONG

✤ The new Battle Song, Don't, is also from Aigis' POV. While it focuses on Aigis' feelings through her conflict with SEES, it also has references to her feelings towards Makoto. Full lyrics here!

Already lost my keys to the door wide shut Only had one wish now it’s never gonna come true Trapped in time Forever in remorse How could I ever be in peace when nothing else matters to me?

MENU & UI

✤ In the menu, Aigis is shown holding a blue butterfly who flies away from her. According to the old devs, blue butterflies are used to symbolize Aigis' heart, which is the perfect imagery for Episode Aigis. Curiously, blue butterflies also often used in relation to Makoto, which carries very meaningful implications they're soulmates your honor.

✤ P3R's UI is meant to represent "the Protagonist's Sea of Souls", and it reflects their psychological state. True to form, Aigis is shown looking sad and lonely in hers, which is how she has felt since she lost Makoto. In the Equipment menu, we can even see her reach out before sadly retreating into herself, as if she were trying to catch someone who is now long gone.

PROLOGUE

✤ During the anime cutscene, we see a new rendition of Makoto's and Aigis' last moments together.

MARCH 31ST

✤ Aigis is the one who kept Makoto's Evoker after his passing.

✤ Aigis says that the one thing she feels certain of is that Makoto wouldn't have blame any of them for what happened, showing how well she understands him.

✤ Junpei comments that he’s glad Aigis has been “hanging in there” (spoiler: she isn't) because "It really seemed like you cared about him more than anything in the world."

✤ Aigis reveals that she remembers her last moment with Makoto whenever she closes her eyes. Depressed, she kept having the same dream over and over again: running after him, calling his name but never being able to catch up.

✤ She also recalls the promise she made him during the rooftop scene: "I promised to protect him, and I made that my reason for living. But now... that promise can never be fulfilled."

✤ Aigis says that one day, her sadness "mysteriously" left her. She stopped dreaming and requiring sleep. Unbeknownst to her, this is the event that draws The Abyss of Time to the dorms.

✤ When Aigis is scared of losing more precious people, she sees Makoto walking away from her and desperately tries to reach out to him. Then, Athena metamorphoses into Orpheus. It's interesting to notice that the effect used when Makoto disappears is the same effect used when Orpheus appears.

✤ Aigis and Makoto have the exact same Velvet Room and Aigis can even access his entire Compendium. In other words, they must share the same space “between dream and reality, mind and matter.”

✤ Elizabeth also explains that a Persona "represents one's heart and soul." Aigis can use Makoto's as if they were her own. Let that sink in!

✤ When Aigis thinks that reaching the Answer to Life may lead to her death, she is surprised to "discover how little the possibility bothered me." With Makoto gone, Aigis has lost her reason to live. It's to the point that when Aigis believes that she may die if she loses her key, she says: "If I did, then that would be fine..."

✤ During one of the activities with Metis, she comments on how fulfilled she feels whenever Aigis trusts her with something. If the player lets Aigis say "I think I understand", Metis will say: "Then you must have someone in your life who's just as important to you as you are to me." Which is quite big, because Aigis is literally Metis' everything lol

✤ Aigis getting Makoto’s power means she "inherited" something from him.”

✤ Aigis says early in the game that normally, people have a reason to awaken to their Persona, but that for her it was backwards. She had a persona and then she gained a reason (protecting Makoto). Later, we discover that the reason for her awakening to the Wild Card was that with Makoto gone, she has lost her purpose and her reason to live.

✤ The door that lies in the deepest part of The Abyss of Time leads to Aigis’ past and the moment she awoke to the "Persona abilities" Makoto had. In here we see Aigis' dream, the one where she runs after Makoto, trying to reach him in vain. We also find out that she was in so much pain and so lost after his passing that she wished she could go back to being just a machine again.

It was so painful losing him... I couldn't bring myself to do anything, so... I just hid in my room. For a while, I did nothing but chase after him in my dreams...

✤ Aigis' trophy is called "The one who dreamt", after her dream of Makoto.

✤ After the fight with Shadow!Makoto, he disintegrates into blue butterflies as Aigis desperately reaches out for him.

✤ Aigis can't decide whether she wants to go back to the past, or respect Makoto's sacrifice and remain in the present. Irritated by Aigis' predicament, Yukari accuses her of running away from her own feelings for Makoto.

✤ Metis explains that she would do anything to protect Aigis, because she is "all she has". This prompts Aigis to say that she, too, once felt the same way about someone.

✤ Aigis being willing to lay down her life to not have to fight her friends makes Metis break down. She echoes all of Aigis' buried feelings at Makoto's sacrifice. "Why do you have to die? Why does it have to be you...? Why can't it... be me instead? Please don't leave me behind... I'll give my life for the key, too! And if that doesn't work... then I'm coming with you! So we can always be together... Please, don't leave me all alone!" 😭

✤ Aigis realizes that she has been running away from her own feelings. Before going back to the past, she needs to know why Makoto did what he did—because she won't give up on what's important to her.

✤ After that fight, Aigis finally acknowledges that she wants Makoto back, too, and explains that she needs to know exactly what he did before she can make a choice. Despite her own feelings, Makoto's come first to her 😭

✤ Aigis screams "No!" as Erebus aims for Makoto. We also get two new shots of Aikoto's last moments together, showing Makoto smiling peacefully on Aigis' lap.

✤ After the final fight, Yukari acknowledges her jealousy over Aigis inhering Makoto's power and says that just like Makoto, Aigis is the one who knows how to move forward.

✤ Aigis reaches the very same Answer to Life that Makoto did: Friendship and Bonds are what give people life.

✤ Metis tells Aigis that there's still a way for Aigis to keep her promise to protect Makoto, and that is by fostering connections with others, so that they may one day reach the same answer they did.

✤ Metis is revealed to be Aigis' Shadow: the manifestation of the heart Aigis wished away after losing Makoto.

✤ Once Aigis regains her heart, she breaks down crying at last, finally processing her grief at losing Makoto.

✤ Before she fully fades away, we hear Metis' voice talking to Aigis and telling her how she can reach Makoto so he won't have to carry on alone anymore.

ENDING

✤ Aigis goes back to the rooftop for the final cut-scene. Just like that last day she spent with him, there are cherry blossom petals blowing in the wind.

✤ The credit song, Brand New Days, is once again from Aigis' POV. It focuses on her feelings towards SEES and Makoto as she walks forward into a new tomorrow.

There are days when I tire of calling out the meaning of my life, and my head droops But still, in my heart (So look up to you) Is your smile

✤ During the credits, we see Aigis looking back over her shoulder as she walks through the Moonlight Bridge (the place that started it all for her and Makoto). Lastly, cherry blossoms once again welcome her when she reaches the school. Considering their meaning (Don't forget about me), I'd like to think they're yet another reference to the fact that Aigis will go on living—forever carrying her memories of him.

✤ The Clear Data Save features Aigis' portrait over a cherry blossom background. If you beat the game on Heartless, a cherry-blossom-colored butterfly is added and placed over Aigis' heart.

EXTRAS

✤ In Orpheus' myth, he descends to the underworld in search of his dead wife, Eurydice, but ultimately fails and finds his own death. Knowing this makes Aigis having Orpheus as her main Persona even more meaningful. Not only is Orpheus' Makoto's Persona—so it's like he's left a piece of himself with her, his own version of I'll Never Leave You—it also represents Aigis' plight during Episode Aigis: either moving forward or going back to the past in search of Makoto. Unlike Orpheus, Aigis is eventually able to move forward carrying her memories of her beloved with her.

✤ Aigis' Compendium is signaled by a bookmark with a red butterfly, while Makoto's is the same bookmark but with a blue butterfly.

✤ Two dictionary entries evoke Aikoto. The first is That Day, which mentions it's "the last day Aigis ever spoke to him." The second is Aigis' Past.

✤ One of Elizabeth dialogues is "Do you posses the power to overcome any adversity as well? Just as he did...?" Another of her dialogues foreshadows Elizabeth wanting to ask Aigis to help her free Makoto's soul from the seal ("When the time comes, I may ask you to..."), just like in Persona 4 Arena.

✤ When Fuuka learns that Aigis may die if her key is taken, Aigis explains that she didn't want SEES to worry over her, too, when they're all "doing what they feel is best... for him..."

✤ Just like in The Answer, Yukari spends the game jealous of Aigis because she heard Makoto's last words and inherited his power—although this time she luckily handles it a lot better. This leads Mitsuru to explain that Yukari doesn't mean Aigis any malice; as she does so, she acknowledges Aigis' feelings and says that Makoto did no mean any less to Aigis than he did to Yukari. Later, Yukari herself ends up acknowledging Aigis' feelings and suffering over Makoto, strengthening their friendship.

✤ It's revealed that both Mitsuru and Yukari made promises to Makoto, or rather, to themselves after Makoto's passing. This bears mentioning because Aigis' promise to Makoto is never described in such terms in the game. At the contrary, in the original game, Yukari even goes as far as comparing them to say that unlike Aigis' promise to Makoto (あなたと違う), hers was one-sided (一方的に), highlighting that Makoto was there to acknowledge Aigis'.

✤ Metis tells Aigis that "The souls of all living things are connected through a plane similar to a sea." The Seal of Souls is likely where Makoto & Aigis are shown together in the opening, and the storyboards even describe it as an "unexpected reunion" 😭

✤ Mitsuru decides to give everyone their Evokers back, so it’s fair to assume Aigis still has Makoto’s.

✤ The Persona 3 Official Fanbook holds a short story about Aigis and Metis (I included an excerpt of it at the top of this post) and a column on the symbolism behind Aigis getting Orpheus (Orpheus, just like Aigis, went to the underworld in search of his lost beloved). While it's not material that came out with this version of Episode Aigis, it's still as relevant (and touching) as ever, so I really recommend reading it.

[verdantlights]

Modern AU Headcanons

For all 7 of my ocs!! :3

all of their ethnicities/nationalities are canon to the ALNST universe too, but theyre just more applicable in a modern au.

The artwork I did for each of them isnt fully colored like how i originally planned, simply because this took FUCKING FOREVER. (17 hours??? all 7 ocs just to this basic color with 17 hours and 25k strokes??? according to procreate???) and i was so ready to be done with it, ive been talking about this for like ages and i knew that if i didnt finish this before Blink Gone dropped,,,, itd never get finished.

i also have other stuff i need/want to work on in regards to my ocs SO. if the art looks half-assed, im calling it a design choice 🎀

Toki (Redone):

He'd be a dancer that runs a choreography channel on youtube and tiktok. A really popular/famous content creator.

He's Asian! (South Korean)

Fluent in English/Korean.

Would probably face a lot of controversy for making strange jokes about cannibalism, but he never stays down when cancelled. (hes so schlatt core)

He's not a horrible person in a modern au. He's relatively normal, if not for the fact that he is still an orphan and still clinically mentally ill. He's just not toxic. He still has his cunt and freak but... he just doesn't manipulate, mansplain, and manslaughter anymore.

He's only toxic and awful as hell in ALNST because of the dystopian circumstances. His toxicity is seasoning to the tragedy that is ALNST.

He is still an orphan and his first memories would be in the orphanage where he was pretty much alone. People thought he was strange.

I'd like to believe he was selectively mute for quite a long time, which was another reason why people called him strange.

Still has the habit of studying peoples behaviors and learning them entirely for his own benefit. He wouldn't use it against someone unless absolutely necessary in a modern au.

He gets adopted when he's 13 by a kind, older man. He homeschools Toki and puts him in sports and recreational activities of his choice.

Toki chooses gymnastics and dance, contorting and moving his body at his will gives him a sense of control that he always felt he was never privileged to.

He didn't start talking until he was 16. His first words were, "Thank you, dad."

As an adult, as I said above, Toki runs a choreo channel on tiktok and youtube that gets a lot of traction. He enjoys having fans because it makes him feel less alone.

He's still possessive over Inna, but it's only because Toki struggles with feeling a sense of belonging and a home to come back to, and Inna becomes that home for him.

He has a streetwear aesthetic!

Of course, Toki still has his obsessive and possessive personality, that will never go away. It ends up rearing his head towards Inna, but I'm pretty sure Inna likes it anyway, the 𝓯𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓴.

Didn't go to college because his socmed took off before he graduated, sustaining him really well financially.

Friends with Ichor! Travels to Korea with him sometimes, but usually prefers to stay in America since that's where he was taken to when he was adopted.

Innamorati belongs to @alien-til-i-stage <3

Clove:

He is Latino! (Dominican/Caribbean)

His right eye is a lazy eye and he wears glasses. They're silver round frames that he sometimes puts a neck chain on.

His hair is dyed the same, but the dark brown is really short and cut to be fluffy/messy while keeping his long sides/short bangs!

He has a dark academia aesthetic mixed with a little bit of cottagecore. He's a lot more comfortable in his skin in regards to his gender so he wears skirts and dresses sometimes.

Spends his time at the library a lot, enjoys library dates with Aster (and also coffee shop dates).

He is fluent in Spanish and English.

He only has his ear lobes pierced and keeps small silver studs in them at all times.

Still trans, of course! He gets top surgery and a hysterectomy in a modern au (projecting what I personally want lmao)

All of his siblings are alive, and are still all named after flowers!

His upbringing was really peaceful, if not for having a very alive and loud household with 6 kids, him included.

His parents and siblings are all incredibly accepting and they all helped pitch in to get his top surgery done for his birthday one year <3

He inherited his parents flower shop and runs it now! His parents own the parent company to the flower shop, so all 6 children own one of said shops around the state!

He majored in Biology in college.

A lot of the neglect and trauma he faced in ALNST/ANAKT was only specific to the universe. He would lead a relatively normal and peaceful life, otherwise :)

Aster belongs to @apriciticreveries <3

Horizon:

He is American!

Horizon is incredibly smart and is an astrophysicist! He took it in college and has been hyperfixated on space since he was a kid.

Is the most visibly/recognizably autistic OC out of all of my OCs. All of my OCs are neurodivergent in some way because of my own neurodivergency, but Horizon takes the cake because his modern au mother (based on Scorpius) is also autistic. She raised him to not be forced into a mask.

Scorpius is a single mom and loves space as well, teaching Horizon all about it when he was a kid. Over time she grew more distant and would only connect with her son when its about his interest in space, or in regards to what happens at NASA.

Horizon is aware of his mothers distance and neglect and wishes things could go back to when he was a kid and she wasn't so distant.

He is still a narcolept, but is medicated and in physical therapy to help combat it.

He works at NASA! He makes good money and has discovered a lot of new stars!

He's more vocal in a modern au! He'd still go nonverbal a lot, but he'd also open up more and be less distant.

He still yaps about stars and space as much as possible.

He does not have stars in his eyes. I kinda feel like that goes without saying, but he does have dark grey-blue eyes.

Fond of Seraph and likes to study it. Fully aware something is wrong with it and that it definitely does not belong in his world, but finds it intriguing all the same.

Does not have a set dress style, he mostly dresses for comfort. He does have a lot of NASA merchandise and space/galaxy themed clothing, though. (would 100% have that blue and pink galaxy wolf hoodie at one point)

Seraph:

Still not human, and I will not elaborate as to why!

Also still uses He/Hy/It (Hy/Hymn).

It's a lot creepier in a modern au, actually. This is because the dystopian setting of ALNST makes it a bit more... usual and acceptable for Seraph to be uncanny? However, in a modern au... that's not the case.

People do NOT vibe with it more often than not.

Hy is British.

He is still albino with void-like eyes.

It majors in psychology and went to the same college as Horizon. This is related to his special talent,,, but that isn't released yet. :)

Still horribly enamored with Horizon and follows him around and studies him.

Horizon doesn't mind hymn and honestly knows somethings not right with Seraph, but he doesn't really care and actually likes to study Seraph back. (and seraph couldnt be happier about it, tbh)

Not a lot changes about Seraph, in all honesty. Hy doesn't really belong in the ALNST universe, what makes you think hy'd belong in the modern universe?

The things that do change, like it's echoing voice and it's staticky/distorted laugh, are gone because it personally stopped using them.

It's style is... elegant goth with some... cyber goth? Kinda strange and hard to describe but he does understand the morals and values of goth culture and music and upholds those values.

Lowkey an anarchist but you didn't hear that from me.

He is Horizon's roommate.

Seraph likes to believe their mutual studying of each other is what a romantic relationship entails.

Horizon spoils Seraph a lot... he has to do something with the money he gets from NASA.

He still does not like animals or Ichor.

Ichor:

He is still a catboy. He's not even like... a kemonomimi. He's just a fucking catboy.

If not an actual catboy, he would be a therian and/or kemonomimi. (kemonomimi directly translates to animal ears i believe? kemonomimis are just people who enjoy wearing animal ears/tails.)

He is also Asian! (South Korean)

Has a lot of mixed aesthetics, but enjoys crossdressing (in a cute way) and ouji fashion/lolita.

Autistic with selective mutism and is nonverbal more often than not. He is fluent in both ASL and KSL as well as spoken English/Korean. This is canon to the ALNST universe, but he is fully mute in canon.

Would probably be a professional gymnast. I'm talking like Olympics... professional.

Takes the fame from being a professional gymnast and becomes a content creator to show off his impeccable fashion sense.

100% dating and smitten with Briar. I'm assuming Briar would be a doctor in a modern au (akane, you can correct me if I'm wrong), and if that's the case, then Ichor would make a bunch of "woe is me, I need a doctor" jokes to Briar.

He'd immediately go to Briar if he gets hurt during performances.

Would actually be friends with Toki!! Both as a content creator and as a gymnast. They would get along very well due to overlapping interests, even more so when Ichor learns that Toki was mute for a long time.

Sometimes takes up gigs/jobs as a Sign Translator for both KSL and ASL.

Recognized as a Fashion Idol in Korea.

Frequently travels back and forth between South Korea and America due to this. ^ (his boyfriend misses him...)

Also did not go to college! He went straight into professional gymnastics and makes a living off of it! If he could go back to school, though, he would want to study the arts!

All of his hair is naturally white! He was based off of a white Turkish Angora cat, and since his hair was dyed against his will in ALNST, that wouldn't be the case in the MAU. He's only pink in his art because that's his color <3

Briar belongs to @aakaneeee <3

Lys:

She is Creole and born and raised in Louisiana!

Fluent in both Cajun French and normal French. She was a French immersion kid! (as in she learned french as she learned english in school growing up)

An amazing cook and loves to cook for her family and friends.

Has a brother and a sister, but she is the oldest. She loves her family and is very protective over them, same with her friends.

A big party-goer and social butterfly, she is the life and light of the party. She stays humble about it, but she can't deny how nice it makes her feel that people like her so much.

Dominates karaoke like it's no ones business. She loves singing and was in the church choir growing up.

She grew up Catholic, but is currently Agnostic.

Still a lesbian, and is very open about it. She is a strong advocate for LGBTQ+ rights and goes to as many Pride Parades as possible during pride month.

LOVES HER GIRLFRIEND!!!!!!!!!!! EVEREST!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Her favorite way to wear her hair is super long box braids with bright colored weave, usually orange or red, but she's done the whole rainbow before!

Majors in cosmetology!

Wants to be a fashion designer, and is also building a socmed presence!! Her childhood dream was to work at Hollywood as a SFX/Makeup artist! (She still kinda does, but is okay with working for any movie company, honestly)

Has a streetwear and Y2K aesthetic! She likes to explore a bunch of other fashion cultures, but normally ends up falling back to those two as a base/familiar ground.

Is really good friends with Clove! She knows him through Everest, who had befriended him in overlapping college courses. Clove approached Everest and became friends with him before she introduced Clove to Lys. They all like to hang out together :]

Everest:

She is Australiannnnn!!!!

Still albino!

She does have the sensitive skin and eyesight in the modern world, though. She is not genetically modified, therefore she has really powerful glasses and is covered a lot.

Wears a lot of loose flowy clothing and big sunhats to protect himself from the sun.

Also still intersex!

Still feels 60% femme and 40% masc with very little in between. Doesn't mind being referred to as androgyne, but prefers either or, rather than in between.

She is sapphic and horribly in love with her girlfriend, Lys.

Is a lot less morally grey in a modern au and is a lot more like Luna Lovegood, one of her inspirations.

His morality in ALNST comes from the dystopian setting, being used as a toy for the segyein after winning, and being a pet in general. Since that doesn't happen in the modern day, he doesn't have that trauma to influence him.

She takes second place on most visibly autistic. (Ichor takes third)

Majored in Chemistry and wants to be a chemist.

Has overlapping classes with Clove and is friends with him!

Comes from a pretty wealthy family and was raised prim and proper. Her parents believed she'd be better off presenting as a boy, but once she realized her autonomy, she refused it entirely and told her parents that she will live how she wants and that her body is hers to dictate.

Her parents don't like that she switches back and forth between masc and femme, but she could not give less of a fuck and honestly does it a little bit out of spite.

He still loves his parents... kinda. He has the mentality of "they gave me life and raised me, I should be grateful andlove them all the same." He just wishes they weren't so bitchy over his body and what he does with it. They can't say anything either considering he plans on being a chemist, and they're both very fond of the idea that their child is smart and will bring in more money.

They're also lowkey homophobic and only give Lys a pass because they see Everest as a boy more often than not. They still don't quite like Lys because she is a full lesbian/sapphic and sees Ever as femme.

Enjoys travelling a lot!!

Has a socmed presence through Lys and appears as a duo with her a lot. People love them together and give them a lot of the stereo contrasting ship types (fire/ice, blue/red, black/white, etc)

It not famous on her own! I don't think she would actively seek out a socmed presence of her own and would be content with being featured on Lys' socmed. He was only famous in ALNST for winning s36, he did not ask for that.

thats about it!! sorry its so long, but... i love my children... so...

anyways, taglist!! no pressure to respond <3 @rockwgooglyeyes @bluemoonscape @tsukacchako @starry-skiez @junebluues @yunoftheclouds @waterydream @pwippy @ivanttakethis @nottoonedin