#hhe2024
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text
The Christmas Yet to Come
Christmas is not over yet! When I wrote A Christmas Carol for the @harringroveholidayexchange, I wanted to tell Billy and Steve's vision of their Christmas Yet to Come... A little additional present for @bigdumbbambieyes <3
I wanted to post them during holidays but I forgot... but it is still Christmas time! You can find the ficlet here:
Steve's Christmas Yet to Come (Explicit) Billy's Christmas Yet to Come (Explicit) You can find the entire collection here!
#harringrove holiday exchange#hhe2024#a christmas carol#billy hagrove#steve harrington#billy x steve
13 notes
¡
View notes
Text
It's Always Been You

đâď¸ Here's my @harringroveholidayexchange fic I wrote for @freezef4wn âď¸đ
Characters: Billy Hargrove, Steve Harrington, Robin Buckley, Eddie Munson, Max Mayfield Warnings: No Warnings Tags: No Upside Down, Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, POV Alternating, Gay Billy Hargrove, Bisexual Steve Harrington, Feelings Realization, Mutual Pining, Hurt/Comfort, Billy & Max Have a Good Relationship, Past Mungrove hinted, Past buckleway hinted, the Byers never moved to California, Getting Together, First Kiss Words: 13,557
Summary: Billyâs presence had become comforting. Having someone to talk to who was here seemingly from their own will, even if not entirely, made Steve feel less lonely. At least he wouldnât leave. Even if they agreed to disagree on many things, Billy found Steveâs lousy jokes funny and was sharp as hell. Steve just had started then pay attention to things heâd never had before. When the light at the bar hit Billyâs hair just the right way, it created a bright halo around his head. The way the corners of his eyes crinkled when he grinned widely, his tongue stuck between his teeth, the way his laugher rang loud and brightâŚ
And in this special purgatory Steve had spent the last few months.
Read on AO3 >>
::::::::::
The snow fell in lazy flakes outside Family Video, each one a tiny reminder of the winter that had gripped Hawkins early this year. Steve leaned against the counter, drumming his fingers on the scratched Formica surface, tracking the descent of one particularly large snowflake with his gaze.
The bell above the door chimed, jolting Steve from his reverie. Mrs. Thompson, a blonde, well-shaped woman, walked in. Like she always did on a Friday.
And like every time, Steve plastered on his most charming smile. âMrs. T, come in to get your weekly rom-com fix?â
Mrs. Thompson chuckled, her eyes twinkling. âOh, you know me too well, Steve. But I think Iâll shake things up this time. Got anything new?â
âWell, letâs see what we can find for you. Action? Romance? How about a little of both?â
Steve had repeated those words way too many times to his own liking. For years, even. At twenty-three, he was still stuck in this stupid job and this stupid town where everything seemed to stay all the same.
After graduating, he had applied to colleges, but none of them had accepted him. So, heâd kept this job, thinking it was just temporary. Thinking something better would come up, maybe a job in Indianapolis or Chicago. But it never had happened, he never really went looking, and here he was, still in Hawkins and at the same dead-end job.
All his friends had moved away to study and the only ones left were the kids who also were now old enough to graduate next year. Then everyone would be gone, and heâd still be here, in this town, alone.
Well, except for Billy. Yeah, him. Theyâd turned from rivals toâŚacquaintances over an incident.
+++
Steve had seen Billy with the brunette many, many times. She was gorgeous, of course. It was always the gorgeous ones who attracted each other. And the way she and Billy seemed to be glued from the hip year after year made Steve sure theyâd get married and have two kids, a picket fence, and a golden retriever.
But then Steve went to the menâs bathroom at Hideaway one Saturday night. He heard the very distinct noises of an intimate encounter from one stall and decided to be quick about his business.
Now, in a bar bathroom, there are two rules; you donât try to get a peek at what others are packing, and if you hear noises of two consenting adults, you make your own visit quick and let them finish.
So, Steve had been concentrated on his own business and was already hopeful of being able to slip out before the couple would come out.
But just as he turned around to leave, the stall door openedâand the couple turned out to be Billyâs brunette with another woman . Which was a surprise. Though fair, Steve had made a conclusion based on hearing only the orgasm of a woman and not thought of the possibility of that being caused by another one.
When he returned to the bar, he saw them sit down at the booth where Billy was waiting. And it seemed that Billy was totally unfazed. Poor bastard didnât probably even know.
Steve knew it really was none of his business, but witnessing a guy being cheated first hand made him feel uneasy. If someone had seen Nancy cheating when theyâd gone out, he wouldâve wanted to be told about it.
Which was why, when he later noticed the women had left, he picked up his beer and walked over to Billy's table. âHey. UmâŚI, uh, I saw something earlier and you might want to hear about it.â
Billy cocked his head as he looked up. âWhat?â
âI saw your gal earlier, in the menâs bathroom.â
Billy snorted. âSheâs not my gal.â
Steve looked at him, puzzled. âHuh?â
âYeah. I assume you saw her in there withâŚâ His voice lowered. âA girl?â
Okay, so Billy knew. Which made Steveâs insides twist even more. He nodded.
Billy took a pull from his cigarette. âYeah. Sheâs not my gal.â
âOhâŚOH.â
âYeah, oh.â
âHmm. Right. Because I, uh, IâŚI always thoughtâŚyouâre always glued from the hip. Seemed normal to assume that.â
Billyâs smile faltered just for a second before returning to his face. âWell, itâs not good to assume things.â
âAhâŚyeah, youâre right. Of course. Sorry,â Steve said, shaking his head. âIâll go nurse my embarrassment to the bar and leave you alone.â
âWell, the seat is free now since they left.â
The invitation surprised Steve. Billyâs calm demeanor overall surprised him. They hadnât really even talked after high school and Steve had been happy about it, since Billy had always been as loud and crass as ever.
âBut by no means go back and sit at the bar alone if you prefer that,â Billy continued after a moment, a smile tucking the corner of his mouth. âSince it seems to be so hard to decide.â
âUh, no, IâŚIâll stay,â Steve said, feeling stupid. He mustâve frozen from surprise.
The worn leather seat creaked as he sat across from Billy. He didnât really know what to talk about with him. Cars? Steve knew shit about cars. Movies? Billy came by Family Video almost weekly to rent a movie or two for him and Max. Max . He knew Max. A little.
âSoâŚI heard that Max is applying to college.â
Billy nodded and took a sip from his beer. âYup. Sheâs planning on getting out of this town.â
âThatâs how itâs supposed to be,â Steve said quietly. âSheâs got a good chance at scholarships, I guess?â
âYeah. Though Iâm playing it safe. Been saving a little to make sure she can make it.â
Steveâs brows shot up. âYouâre helping with her tuitions?â
âIf it comes to that, yeah.â Billy raised his eyes from his glass to look at Steve. âDid you assume that Iâd stick around in his hellhole just because itâs such a fine place to live in?â
âUhâŚâ was all Steve could get out of his mouth. He felt mortified for having a foot in his mouth like this. Apparently finding out that Billy wasnât a total asshole anymore and was generous to that extent had sprained his brain.
Billy chuckled and took another pull of his smoke. âYeah, turns out there actually is more to me at twenty-two than there was at eighteen. I was surprised too.â
Steve squeezed his eyes closed. âIâm sorry. Iâm being such a dick right now.â He looked at Billy. âCan we start over?â He reached his hand over the table. âHi, Iâm Steve Harrington.â
Billy chuckled as he took Steveâs hand and shook it. âHargrove. Billy.â
+ + +
That night, Steve had stayed at the table for a few more hours. Theyâd ordered more beer and just talked. Steve had learned that the reason Billy hadnât taken off to California, like heâd always loudly announced to everyone at school, was that his dad had split to flee tax fraud chargesâwhich was the very same reason that had brought the family to Hawkins in the first place. So, when Max and Susan had been left to their own devices, Billy had let his grip loosen from fulfilling his own dream, at least for a while, gotten a job, and stayed to help them. To help Max .
It seemed that Billy had changed for the better. Even if he wasnât about to marry the brunette, whose name was Heather, he had a lot of good things going for him in this hellhole .
At least Billy was here by his own choice.
From that onward, whenever they ran into each other, they exchanged a few words. Sat at the same table at the bar, sometimes played some poolâBilly always won.
They werenât exactly friends, but yeah, they knew of each other.
Steve was drawn back from his reverie, Mrs. Thompson nudging his arm.
âAre you alright?â
âHuh?â
âYou went all glassy-eyed there for a minute. Thought youâd faint on me.â
âUh, right. No, Iâm fiâIâm fine.â He ran a hand over his face. âJust a bit tired today. Thatâs all.â He looked at the shelf of films again, returning to his role as the helpful video store clerk. âHow about âRomancing the Stoneâ? Adventure, romance, and Michael Douglas looking ruggedly handsome. Canât go wrong there.â
Mrs. Thompson giggled, a faint blush coloring her cheeks. âOh, you! Iâm not sure if my husband would approve.â
âWell, this is for you and not for him, am I right?â
Mrs. Thompson giggled again, a faint blush coloring her cheeks, then nodded enthusiastically.
âAlright, Iâll rang you up on it then.â
As the bell chimed when Mrs. Thompson walked out with her film and silence settled over the store, Steveâs smile faded. He looked back at the window, watching the snow continue its relentless fall. In the reflection, he saw someone who was trapped, yearning for something he couldnât quite name.
With a sigh, he picked up stack of tapes, put them on the small trolley and walked to the shelves. There were always more movies to organize, more customers to small talk with.
And maybe a chance that Billy might walk through that door and change everything.
Yeah.
Billy, who always came in on Fridays around five pm to pick up a movie for Max and El and one for himself. Billy, whose weekly five-minute visit to Family Video Steve always waited like the moon to riseâŚ
Steve wasnât sure at which point exactly heâd started to think more of Billy. Heâd known for a while now that his interest wasnât limited to just girls, so the realization itself wasnât a total surprise. That it was Billy, then again, was.
Billyâs presence had become comforting. Having someone to talk to who was here seemingly from their own will, even if not entirely, made him feel less lonely. At least he wouldnât leave. Even if they agreed to disagree on many things, and Steve still couldnât fathom why Billy was so infatuated with his friend Eddieâs band Corroded Coffin. But Billy also found Steveâs lousy jokes funny and was sharp as hell.
Heâd just started then pay attention to things heâd never had before. When the light at the bar hit Billyâs hair just the right way, it created a bright halo around his head. The way the corners of his eyes crinkled when he grinned widely, his tongue stuck between his teeth, the way his laugher rang loud and brightâŚ
And in this special purgatory Steve had spent the last few months.
The door bell chimed again and Steve turned, expecting another customer, but found himself face-to-face with Robin. Her hair was dusted with snow, her cheeks flushed from the cold.
âHey!â Steve said, setting the tapes down and walked to her, enveloping her in a tight hug. âDidnât know you were in town!â
âIn other words,â Robin said, âyou didnât think Iâd come home for Thanksgiving?â
âI didnât say that,â Steve replied with sheepish a smile.
âOf course Iâm home for thanksgiving! Wouldnât miss the chance to see you on the side.â
âWell, Iâm glad Iâm not entirely forgettable,â Steve chuckled.
âSaw you recommended Mrs. Thompson âRomancing the Stoneâ, Casanova,â she quipped, sidling up to the counter. âYou know, there are other movies in this store.â
Steve clutched his chest in mock offense. âYou wound me! Iâll have you know âRomancing the Stoneâ is a cinematic masterpiece.â
âYeah, and Iâm sure Mrs. Thompsonâs appreciation for cinema is whatâs got you pushing it so hard,â Robin retorted, her voice dripping with sarcasm.
Steve rolled his eyes. âI have you know that Iâve actually given up on that kind of behavior.â
âOh? You just think of someone special nowadays?â
Steve fidgeted with the hem of his vest. âMaybe.â
Robinâs eyes widened. âWho?â Then she scrunched her nose. âDonât say itâs one of your hookups. You know what happens with them.â
âNope, no a hookup. At all. I kind ofâŚknow ofâŚknow them.â
Robin tilted her head. âThem?â
Steve knew it would turn into a full-blown interrogation until he finally revealed who he was thinking of. Might as well tell her now. âBilly Hargrove,â he sighed, deflated.
The name hung in the air between them, and Steve felt a mix of relief and terror wash over him. He watched Robinâs face carefully, searching for any sign of judgment or disgust.
When she didnât reply, Steve asked, âEverything alright?â
âUmâŚyeah. Iâm justâŚwhy him?â
âWell, weâve been talking here and there andâŚyou know how it goes.â
Her gaze softened. âYou start noticing things and thinking it might actually be nice to know more about them?â
Steve nodded.
âIs he a nice person? I remember him as not much so.â
âHeâs saving to help Max get through college.â
Robin looked gobsmacked. âOh, wow.â
Smile tucked the corner of Steveâs mouth. âThatâs what I said.â
âWell, you know how you can find out if they feel the same? You talk to them.â
Steve sighed, leaning against the counter. âHe isnât gay.â He paused. âI think. Besides, I donât want to ruin our perfectly well-functioning knowing of each other. Heâs one of the few good things about this town.â
Steve wouldâve wanted to talk more, but the bell above the door chimed, and his heart leapt into his throat. Billy strode in, his hair and shoulders dusted with snow, his eyes scanning the store.
Steveâs palms instantly went clammy, and he straightened up, trying to appear nonchalant. He tried to act cool, fumbling with a stack of returns on the counter as he noticed Robin had vanished from his side as if into thin air. Thanks for the support, Robin.
âHey, Harrington!â Billy called out, his voice filling the quiet store. âGot any recommendations for a snowy evening?â
Steveâs mind raced, searching for a witty response. âDepends,â he managed, proud that his voice didnât betray the butterflies in his stomach. âAre we talking âNational Lampoon's Christmas Vacation â kind of night, or more âThe Shiningâ situation?â
Billy laughed, the sound warming Steve from the inside out. Steve couldnât hold back a smile of his own.
âMan, you really do have a movie for every occasion, donât you?â
Steve shrugged, trying to act nonchalant. âItâs a gift, I suppose.â
As Billy browsed the shelves, Steveâs eyes traced the familiar lines of his profile, the way his jacket clung to his shoulders. He forced himself to look away and busied himself with reorganizing the counter.
âSo, howâs the garage?â Steve asked, desperate to keep the conversation flowing.
Billy shrugged, picking up a VHS case, reading the description on the back cover. âSame old, same old. You know how it is. Cars break down, we fix âem. Day in, day out.â
âYeah, rinse and repeat,â Steve murmured, a familiar ache settling in his chest. âI know exactly how it is.â
As Billy turned to leave a moment later, âCommandoâ for him and âFerris Buellerâs Day Offâ for Max tucked under his arm, Steveâs gaze followed him, lingering on the way some of his curls escaped from his messy bun. The bell above the door chimed, a bittersweet sound that seemed to echo Steveâs internal struggle.
âSee you around, Harrington,â Billy called over his shoulder, flashing that crooked smile that never failed to make Steveâs heart skip a beat.
âYeah, see you,â Steve replied, his voice barely above a whisper. He watched Billyâs retreating figure through the store window, a familiar longing settling deep in his bones. The urge to call out, to say somethingâanythingâmore meaningful than their usual banter clawed at his throat, but the words remained stubbornly lodged there.
As Billy disappeared past the windows, Steve let out a heavy sigh. Robin appeared at the other side of the counter, wrapping her unbelievably long scarf around her neck.
âYou left me alone with him!â Steve seethed.
âWell, I couldnât be sure I couldâve kept myself from saying something.â
âHey, as if it would go over well if I said anything,â Steve retorted. ââOh, hey Billy, by the way, I know we chat here and there. Surprise! Iâm into you. Wanna grab a beer?ââ
âWell, what if it worked? What if he said âSure, letâs get that beerâ?â she asked, shaking her head. âSometimes I think youâre more afraid of things working out than falling apart.â
Steve turned to her, his brow furrowed. âWhatâs that supposed to mean?â he asked, this time actually offended.
âMaybe youâve become so used to being an uncommitted guy that the idea of actually putting yourself out there terrifies you.â
Her words hit Steve like a punch to the gut, and he opened his mouth to argue, then closed it again, realizing she was right.
He knew heâd become that guy who was good enough for having fun with, but not worth pursuing seriously for. It had become easy, not needing to even think of a future together anymore.
He had become easy.
It disgusted him. He didnât want to be like that. He wanted to take care of someone and to be cared for. To build a future. But the thought of rejection and destroying a perfectly functional knowing of each other was downright terrifying.
+++
The acrid smell of motor oil and the rhythmic clanking of tools filled the air as Billy slid out from under the rusty Chevy heâd been working on. He wiped his grease-stained hands on a rag, eyeing the carâs undercarriage with a mixture of pride and frustration.
âHey, Hargrove!â called out Mr. Wilkinson, the garageâs owner. âMrs. Andersonâs here for her oil change. Think you can handle it?â
Billy nodded, pushing a stray curl away from his face. âNo problem, boss. Iâll get right on it.â
When he walked through the door to the waiting area, he saw Mrs. Anderson waiting there. He felt a familiar tightness in his chest. She had been his high school English teacher, and he felt a twinge of embarrassment remembering his younger selfâs antics in her class.
âWell, if it isnât Billy Hargrove,â Mrs. Anderson said, a hint of surprise in her voice. âI hardly recognized you without the attitude.â
Billy forced a smile. âGood to see you, Mrs. A. Oil change, was it?â
She gave Billy the keys, and as he sauntered to the car and drove it in, he found himself grateful for a little small talk and doing the same mechanical work heâd done a thousand times before; hoist the car up, drain the oil, lower the car back down, change the filters, fill the oil, send the client on their way.
It all was a far cry from what heâd been at school, lashing out at anyone who got too close.
âYou know, Billy,â Mrs. Anderson said as he returned and gave the keys back to her, âI always knew you had potential. Itâs good to see youâve found your footing.â
Billy felt a warmth spread through his chest, mingled with a twinge of regret. âThanks, Mrs. A. I appreciate that.â
He returned to the car he had been working on earlier, but his mind was elsewhere. The repeating sounds of work and engines running badly and then well a moment later after fixing the issues echoed the hollow feeling in his chest. The same scenery, the same faces, the same damn routine every since day.
While Mr. Wilkinson had told Billy he was the perfect candidate to take over the garage when heâd retire in a few yearsâ time and had also begun to train him for the job, it only eased his mood a little. Sure, now he had future prospects, something solid waiting for him in a few yearsâ time that also guaranteed Max getting her college education for sure.
But it didnât change the fact that his own life missed something more. Someone. Steve.
God, Steve.
Even after all these years, just thinking about him made Billyâs heart race. He could picture Steveâs easy smile, the way his hair fell across his forehead, the dark eyes that seemed to hold so many secrets.
âEarth to Billy,â a voice called, snapping him out of his reverie. It was Joe, his coworker, waving a wrench at him. âYou gonna finish with that rust bucket or just stare into space all day?â
Billy forced a laugh. âJust zoned out for a second.â
But as he walked back under the hoisted car, Billyâs mind wandered again. What would it be like to actually connect with Steve? To tell him how he felt?
âYouâre dreaming, Hargroveâ, he muttered to himself. Steveâs straight, and even if he wasnâtâŚthis is Hawkins.
Even so, a small part of him couldnât help but wonder. What if there was a chance for something more?
Billy stared at the chassis, trying to dislodge the thoughts. Theyâd grown closer since the incident in late August, and he couldnât shake the feeling that had taken root in his heart; that something was finally happening between them. Something that might make him feel alive in this dead-end town.
The sudden sound of footsteps pulled Billy from his reverie. He tensed, his fingers tightening around the wrench in his hand. The footsteps were hesitant, unfamiliar. Not the confident stride of his boss or the casual gait of a regular customer.
A throat cleared awkwardly behind him. âUh, excuse me?â
Billyâs breath caught in his throat. He knew that voice. Slowly, he turned to look at the direction of the voice, his eyes widening as they landed on the figure standing by the car.
Harrington stood there, looking as handsome as ever, even in a stupid turtleneck and jeans. His dark hair was slightly disheveled, probably from taking off his woolen hat. His eyes darted around the garage before settling on Billy.
âHey,â Steve said, his voice a mix of relief and uncertainty. âI thinkâŚsomethingâs broken in my car. It keeps this squealing noise and the lights keep flickering from time to time. I was hoping if you couldâŚâ His words trailed off. âIâm not sure if itâs serious or not,â he said, gesturing vaguely towards the outside.
Billyâs heart raced as he struggled to maintain his composure. He nodded, trying to appear nonchalant despite the whirlwind of emotions churning inside him. âYeah, sure. Maybe the alternator belt is finished. When do the lights flicker?â
As Steve began to explain, Billy found himself captivated by the way Steveâs lips moved, the slight furrow of his brow as he described the carâs symptoms. Billy forced himself to focus on the words, not the speaker, even as his mind screamed at him to say something, anything, to bridge the gap between them.
Instead, he listened silently, nodding at appropriate intervals, all the while wondering if Steve could hear the thundering of his heart in the quiet of the garage.
He wiped his grease-stained hands on a rag, his mind racing as he searched for the right words. âYeah, I think itâs the belt,â he said, his voice steadier than he felt. âI can take a look to make sure.â
Steve nodded, a small smile tugging at the corners of his mouth. âThatâd be great. Thanks.â
âDonât mention it,â Billy replied, clearing his throat, desperate to fill the silence. âUhm, can you drive it in?â
When the car was inside, he opened the hood and looked for the culprit as the engine was running idle.
Steve leaned against a nearby workbench, his posture casual, but the fidgeting of his fingers betraying a hint of nervousness.
Billy couldnât come up with anything to say, so he leaned further into the motor than was necessary. He already knew what was wrong, but his cheeks were so warm that he knew they were beet red and he just couldnât get up and face Steve, not yet. Might as well check everything that ever needed checking.
âYeah, alternator belt is worn, it has to be replaced,â Billy said when he finally felt sure enough to lean back up.
âOh, okay,â Steve said, rubbing his hands on his thighs. âHow long it takes to fix it?â
âIt just needs to be replaced. But we donât have one that fits your car here right now. We donât serve European cars that often so I have to order it from Chicago. We can have it here by tomorrow afternoon.â
Steve looked mortified. âDo I have to leave it here for the time being?â
Billy shook his head. âNo, if you donât mind the off chance that it snaps off while driving. But if you drive carefully, you should be just fine for a few more days. Bring it in the day after tomorrow.â
Steve nodded, still evading Billyâs eyes, his cheeks flushed.
A sudden thought hit Billy. What if SteveâŚWhat. If?
âYeah, uh, Iâll bring it in then. Iâll ask a ride back from Dustin. He can pay back a little for the driving lessons that way,â Steve said as he took the keys from Billy.
Their hands brushed slightly together at the exchange, and both of them stopped for a moment, making the air between them charged.
Then Steve moved his hand and turned to get into the car, breaking the moment.
Billy opened the garage door for Steve to reverse out. He followed the BMW with his gaze until it turned the corner and vanished between buildings.
âFuck,â he muttered to himself as he pressed the button to close the door.
He got back to work on the Chevy and walked under it to continue where he left off. But he couldnât shake the electricity that had gone through him when their hands had touched and the way Steve had seemed nervous. Had there been a flicker of something more? Or was he just dreaming?
Billy sighed, wiping his brow with the back of his hand and leaving a streak of grease. He couldnât keep doing this to himself. Steve was straight, probably uninterested, and completely oblivious to the turmoil he was causing in his heart.
+++
The fluorescent lights of Family Video cast an eerie glow over the faded movie posters lining the walls. Steve sighed, drumming his fingers on the worn counter as he watched the clock tick by with agonizing slowness.
Another day, another shift in this dead-end job.
âExcuse me, do you have any new releases?â a middle-aged woman approached, interrupting his brooding.
Steve plastered on his best customer service smile. âSure thing. What are you looking for?â
As he guided her through the new releases section and then rang her up, Steveâs mind wandered. Is this really all there is? Recommending movies to people living vicariously through a screen while my own life passes me by?
âThanks for your help,â the woman said, jolting Steve back to reality.
âNo problem. Enjoy your movie night,â he replied automatically, already feeling the familiar restlessness creeping back in.
The bell above the door chimed, and Dustin, Mike, and Lucas strolled in, laughing and shoving each other playfully.
Dustin walked to the counter and tilted his head, squinting. âYouâre brooding again. Tell me it isnât the you-know-who.â
Steve shook his head, trying to dispel the melancholy thoughts. âJust thinking that next year this time, youâre all somewhere else. And Iâll still be here.â
âYou know, thatâs entirely your own choice,â Dustin said. âYou could leave anytime you want.â
âI guess,â Steve replied. Dustin was the last person he wanted to infect with his misery, so he changed the subject. âDie Hard is coming out on VHS just before Christmas.â
âIt doesnât make it a Christmas film!â Lucas shouted from somewhere between aisles.
âIt literally takes place on Christmas,â Dustin shouted back. âHow much more Christmas can a film get?â
Steve listened to the familiar bickering between the teenagers with a twinge of envy. To be that carefree again, with the entire world ahead of youâŚ
Focus on the positives , he told himself. At least you have a job. At least you have a roof over your head. But the pep talk rang hollow, doing little to ease the gnawing sense of being stuck.
As his shift finally ended and Sarah, the new girl, took over, Steve grabbed his jacket and headed out into the chilly evening air.
On impulse, he decided to go to Hideaway for a beer or two. It was Saturday, and he didnât have a shift tomorrowâand besides, heâd just sit in front of the TV the whole evening and fall asleep on the worn couch and then wake up at two am to an aching back.
And especially he didnât hope that Billy was also at the bar. Nu-uh.
The familiar creak of the Hideaway door announced his arrival, and the warm, smoky atmosphere of the bar enveloped him. Dim lights cast long shadows across the worn wooden floor, and the low hum of conversation mingled with the soft strains of classic rock from the jukebox.
Steveâs eyes scanned the room, his heart rate picking up when he spotted Billy in a booth at the back of the bar. His shoulders were hunched over a beer, his long hair tied back in its usual messy bun.
Steeling himself, Steve approached. âHey, man,â he said, sitting across from Billy. âHowâs it going?â
Billy raised his gaze, his piercing blue eyes meeting Steveâs. âDidnât expect to see you here tonight. Howâs the car?â
âYeah, I, uhâŚthe carâs fine. Thanks for that.â Steve signaled the bartender for a drink. âSo, whatâs your excuse for being here? You got nothing else to do on a Saturday night?â
âNah. Couldâve gone to Indianapolis. But didnât. You could do that too.â
âYeah. Maybe. Wouldnât want to spend money on a hotel though. Couldnât make it home after a binge in a bar. Here I can walk home if it comes to that.â
âI thought you still lived in that mansion in Loch Nora. With the beemer and all.â
âNope. Wanted to get away from that empty house. I guess my folks are selling it, moving to Chicago full time.â
Billy nodded and lighted a smoke. He offered one to Steve, but Steve just shook his head.
After a while of silence, Steve continued. âYeah, theyâre leaving and Iâll still be stuck here.â
Billy nodded, taking a swig of his beer. âHawkinsâs got a way of making you feel trapped, doesnât it? Like youâre stuck in quicksand, and the more you struggle, the deeper you sink.â
Steve felt a surge of connection, realizing Billy understood exactly how he felt. âExactly. Itâs likeâŚI had all these dreams, you know? Things I wanted to do, places I wanted to see. But now Iâm here, working at the video store, and itâs like timeâs justâŚstopped.â
Billy leaned in, his voice low. âI know what you mean. Sometimes I look around the garage and wonder if this is all there is. If Iâll be changing oil and fixing transmissions for the rest of my life.â
âWhat would you do?â Steve asked, genuinely curious. âIf you could do anything, go anywhere?â
Billyâs eyes lit up, a rare genuine smile spreading across his face. âI used to dream about California. But nowâŚIâve always wanted to restore classic cars. Not just fix them, but really bring them back to life, you know? Thereâs this shop in Chicago that specializes in it. Sometimes I dream about apprenticing there.â
Steve nodded, feeling a warmth spread through his chest. âThat sounds amazing. Youâd probably be great at that.â
His heart skipped a beat as Billyâs smile lingered, the warmth of their conversation settling around them like a comfortable blanket. He found himself studying Billyâs face, noticing the long lashes that spread like a shadow over his cheeks as he looked down at his beer, the slight stubble along his jawline catching the dim bar light.
âWhat?â Billy asked, his grin fading to a look of confusion.
Steve quickly averted his gaze, heat rising to his cheeks. âNothing, justâŚthinking.â
But his mind was racing. When had Billy become more yo him than just the bully from high school? When had his presence started to make his palms sweat and pulse quicken?
Billy shifted in his seat, his fingers drumming an uneven rhythm on the tabletop. âSo, uh, you want another beer?â
âSure,â Steve replied, grateful for the distraction.
As Billy made his way to the bar, Steve couldnât help but watch him go. The way Billy moved, confident yet somehow guarded, stirred something in Steve he wasnât sure how to handle.
âGet it together,â Steve muttered to himself, running a hand through his hair. âItâs Billy, for crying out loud.â
But that was precisely the problem.
Billy returned, setting a fresh beer in front of Steve. Their fingers brushed as Steve reached for the glass, sending a spark through Steve.
âThanks,â Steve managed, his voice slightly strained.
Billy nodded, settling back into his seat. He seemed to avoid eye contact, his gaze darting around the bar. âNo problem. So, uh, youâve been seeing anyone lately?â
The question caught Steve off guard. âMe? No, not really. You know how it is in this town.â
Billyâs shoulders visibly relaxed. âYeah, tell me about it. Slim pickings, right?â
Steve laughed, but it felt hollow. How could he explain that the only person he was interested in was sitting right across from him? That the thought of admitting his feelingsâof potentially losing their perfectly functional knowing of each otherâwas paralyzing?
âRight,â Steve agreed, taking a long swig of his beer. âSlim pickings.â
+ + +
Billy felt warmth flowing over him. For the first time, he was talking with Steve about something else than the weather or movies. It felt comforting. Maybe there was something between them. Something more than just⌠knowing of each other. Heâd hoped for it for so long. Hell, heâd settle just for a friendship, if nothing else. Which was probably as good as theyâd ever get. Steve being straight and all.
Suddenly there was a commotion at the bar, people loudly greeting someone, and he turned to look. His heart leapt at the sight of the familiar long dark hairâEddie.
âHoly shit, itâs really him,â Billy said, a grin spreading across his face.
âWho?â Steve asked, frowning, as he turned to look.
âEddie!â Billy got up. âIâm gonna go say hi.â
Billy walked to Eddie. âWell, look what the cat dragged in,â he said, getting Eddieâs attention.
Eddieâs eyes lit up, that mischievous spark Billy remembered so well dancing in them. âBilly! Man, itâs good to see you!â
They embraced, Billyâs chest tightening with genuine joy. âWelcome back, you crazy bastard. How longâs it been?â
âToo damn long,â Eddie laughed. âLA wasnât all itâs cracked up to be. Figured Iâd come home, see what trouble I can stir up here.â
+++
As they caught up, Steve watched from the table, his stomach churning. Seeing Eddieâs arm slung easily around Billyâs shoulders sent a jolt of jealousy through him.
So, they used to be friends. No big deal.
But it felt like a big deal. Steveâs eyes lingered on Billyâs animated face, the way he laughed at something Eddie said. A familiar ache bloomed in Steveâs chest, one heâd been trying to ignore for months.
Billy got Eddie a beer and lead them to the booth where Steve was waiting.
Steve plastered on a smile, willing himself to make space in the booth. âEddie, man, welcome back,â he said, hoping his voice sounded steadier than he felt.
Eddieâs grin was easy, genuine. âSteve! Good to see you. Howâve you been?â
âOh, you know,â Steve shrugged, aiming for nonchalance. âSame old Hawkins. Nothing new.â
âYou still work at the video store?â Eddie asked as he sat next to Steve.
âYeah, still sorting tapes for a living.â
âHey, thatâs a respectable job. Unless like a guitarist who turns out to be only good for serving drinks to the real rockstars.â
As Eddie launched into a story about his time in LA, Steve found his gaze drawn to Billy. The way Billyâs eyes sparkled as he listened, the curl of his lips as he smiledâit was like a punch to the gut.
They look way too comfortable with each other. What if they wereâŚ
He shook his head, trying to focus on Eddieâs words. Itâs nothing, it doesnât matter , Steve told himself firmly. Friends. Thatâs all.
But as Billyâs laughter echoed at the booth, Steve couldnât quite make himself believe it.
Suddenly, he felt like he was suffocating.
+++
Billyâs brow furrowed as he observed the shift in Steveâs demeanor. The nervous energy from earlier had transformed into something more guarded, almost defensive.
Steveâs gaze darted between him and Eddie, a flicker of somethingâuncertainty? Jealousy?âin his eyes.
âEverything okay?â Billy asked Steve softly, confusion and concern mingling in his chest. He couldnât shake the feeling that Eddieâs arrival had disrupted more than just their conversation.
Steve nodded stiffly, his earlier warmth replaced by a forced smile. âYeah, fine. I should probably get going, actually. Thanks for the beers, Billy.â
As Steve got up to leave, Billy felt a pang of disappointment. What had just happened? The connection heâd felt just moments ago seemed to slip away, leaving him with more questions than answers.
As Steve made his way towards the door, Billy shouted after him, making Steve turn to look at him. âWeâre going to grab something to eat tomorrow. Youâre welcome to join us,â Billy offered, hoping to ease the tension.
Eddie looked at Billy for a moment, surprised. âUh, yeah. Yeah. Sure.â
Steveâs eyes widened slightly, a conflicted expression crossing his face. âOh, IâŚI wouldnât want to intrude,â he stammered.
Billy felt a twinge in his chest, torn between his friendship with Eddie and his desire to connect with Steve. He watched as Steveâs gaze darted between them, a mix of confusion and something that looked almost like hurt in his eyes.
âItâs no intrusion, man,â Eddie chimed in, oblivious to the undercurrents. âThe more the merrier, right?â
Billy nodded, trying to catch Steveâs eye. âAbsolutely. What do you say?â
Steveâs internal struggle was evident in the way he hesitated, his facade cracking to reveal the uncertainty beneath. âIâŚI should probably get going. Thanks for the offer, though,â he said, his voice strained as he turned and left the bar.
After Steve was gone and Billy sat back to the couch, Eddie raised an eyebrow. âEverything okay, man?â
Billy nodded absently, his eyes still fixed on the door. âYeah, âs fine,â he mumbled, though his chest felt tight with disappointment.
+++
The string of lights tangled in Steveâs fingers as he stretched to reach the far corner of the ceiling. His arms ached from the repetitive motion, but his mind barely registered the discomfort.
Instead, it replayed the scenes from the last few weeks since Eddieâs return over and over like a broken record.
Billyâs easy laugh. Eddieâs hand on Billyâs shoulder. The easy banter between the two. Billy laughing at Eddieâs stupid jokes. Eddie grinning widely every time Billy jabbed at him. The way they seemed to suddenly do everything together.
It was infuriating.
âShit,â he muttered as a bulb slipped from his grasp, shattering on the floor of the store. He sighed, descending the ladder with careful steps.
What did it mean? The question gnawed at him, refusing to be silenced. Were they reallyâŚ? No, he couldnât let himself go down that path.
As he bent to retrieve the fallen bulb, Steve caught sight of his reflection in the storeâs front window. The furrow etched between his brows made him look older, more careworn. He barely recognized himself.
âFuck it,â he muttered, shaking his head as if he could physically dislodge the doubts clouding his mind. But Billyâs face lingered, his eyes seeming to see right through him.
Steve ran a hand through his hair, mussing it further. âYouâre reading too much into things,â he said aloud, his voice echoing in the empty store.
But even as he spoke the words, they rang hollow.
The bell above the door jingled, breaking Steveâs reverie. He turned to see Robin bustling in, her arms laden with a cardboard box overflowing with glittering ornaments.
âWell, donât you look festive,â she quipped, eyeing Steveâs lackluster expression. âDid Santa put coal in your stocking already?â
Steve couldnât help but crack a smile. âHey, Iâm working on it. Rome wasnât decorated in a day, you know.â
âClearly,â she retorted, setting the box down with a theatrical huff. âGood thing Iâm here to rescue your Christmas and not Kevinâwho apparently got sick on a Saturday morning. Again. What a surprise. Hand me those tinsel garlands, Scrooge.â
âI was just about to ask, how come youâre here? Your lectures ended already for this year.â
âYup,â she said, popping the p. âThought that Iâd might as well come home early and to check on you, how youâre doing without my help. Poorly, I see.â
As they worked side by side, draping tinsel and hanging baubles, Steve felt some of the tension ease from his shoulders. Robinâs presence was a welcome distraction, her sarcastic comments and playful jabs pulling him out of his own head.
âSo,â she ventured. âAny luck with Hargrove yet?â
Steve paused, a red ornament dangling from his finger. âNo,â he replied quietly.
Robinâs eyes narrowed slightly, studying Steveâs face. âOut with it.â
Steve sighed, fiddling with a strand of lights. âItâs nothing, really. I justâŚI donât know. Things have been weird lately. With Billy, I mean.â
Robinâs expression softened, the sarcasm fading from her voice. âWeird how?â
As Steve stumbled through an explanation, he couldnât help but notice the way Robin listened, her usual quips giving way to genuine concern. It struck him then how lucky he was to have her as a friend. He ended his explanation with, âEddie came back.â
Robin looked at Steve expectantly. âThe rockstar-Eddie? So?â
âWell, theyâre close andâŚBillyâs been spending a lot of time with him.â
âThat doesnât mean anything. Werenât they glued to the hip already back in high school?â
âI guess,â Steve muttered, fiddling with the garland he was holding. âBut it couldâve been because, you knowâŚâ
âSo, youâre still not doing anything about it? Just brooding alone instead of, you know, asking like a normal person?â
Steveâs stomach twisted. âI donât know if I canââ
âSure you can,â Robin cut him off, her voice softening. âLook, I know itâs scary. But if you donât ask, the answer is always no.â
âYeah, I know,â Steve muttered.
Robin pondered for a while. âHey, isnât the traditional Byers-Hopper Christmas Dinner again on next Saturday?â
Steve glanced at her. âYeah. What of it?â His eyes widened. âYou think theyâve invited Billy?â
âWell, Max is always there, isnât she? Is it such a stretch that he might be tagging along?â
âHeâll probably come with Eddie, anyway. It wouldnât work.â
âWhat then if he comes with Eddie? You donât know for certain theyâre together, right?â
âWell, it isnât the kind of thing you advertise in this town now, is it?â Steve retorted.
Robin stared at him for a moment. âYeah, as if I didnât know, dumbass.â
Steve pinched the bridge of his nose. âIâm sorry. Didnât mean it like that.â
âYou donât have to say the words, not immediately. JustâŚget him a present and give it to him. Let him know youâve been thinking of him.â
Steve nodded. It actually wasnât a bad idea. âBut I donât know what he likes.â
Robin hummed and pursed her lips in thought for a moment. âWell, what a guy who works with cars likes?â
âUh, cars?â
âU-huh. And what particular car?â
ââŚHis own?â
âBingo!â
Steve pondered the idea for a moment. âHuh. Okay. I can work with that, I guess.â
+ + +
Billyâs mind whirled as he drove through the snow-covered streets of Hawkins and towards Family Video to rent a few films with Max. His chest felt tight, constricted by pent-up longing and fear.
He hadnât seen Steve for a while and it was bothering him. Which was why they were on their way to the store, renting a film for Max as a prize from good grades as the excuse. And Max herself as a shield.
He probably doesnât even like guys, he repeated his age-old reasoning like a broken record.
As they parked in front of the store, its neon sign bright in the gray afternoon light, Billy took a deep breath, steeling himself.
The bell above the door jingled as Max stepped inside in front of him, the familiar scent of popcorn and musty carpet washing over them. His eyes scanned the aisles, heart racing as he searched for a glimpse of dark hair.
âYou gonna stand there all day, or are we actually renting something?â Maxâs voice cut through his thoughts, startling him.
Billy blinked, realizing heâd been frozen in the doorway. âYeah, yeah, Iâm coming,â he grumbled, following her inside. With each step, he felt a mix of anticipation and dread building in his chest, unsure if he was more afraid of seeing Steve than not seeing him at all.
âWhatâs with you, anyway?â Max asked as she scanned through the new releases shelf. âYou didnât call me shitbird even once while we were driving here.â
Billy chuckled. âYeah, sorry, shitbird. Happy?â
Max snorted. âSo whatâs it gonna be today? Another shirtless hero?â she teased, elbowing Billy in the ribs as they meandered down the aisle.
Billy scoffed, but a faint blush crept up his neck. âShut up, Max. Iâm not the one who cried during âThe Officer and A Gentlemanâ last week.â
âHey, that was a beautiful story!â Max retorted, her voice rising in mock indignation. âBesides, I seem to recall someone getting misty-eyed duringââ
âAlright, alright,â Billy cut her off, rolling his eyes but unable to suppress a grin. âLetâs just pick something and get out of here.â
After picking up âNational Lampoon's Christmas Vacationâ they made their way to the counter, and Billyâs heart leapt into his throat. Steve had appeared behind the counter, his hair slightly tousled as he organized the tapes on the counter.
Billy froze, his palms suddenly sweaty. The sight of Steve, bathed in the soft glow of the overhead lights, made his knees weak. He struggled to maintain his composure, forcing himself to breathe normally.
âEarth to Billy,â Max whispered, nudging him. âYou okay? You look like youâve seen a ghost.â
Billy swallowed hard, his eyes still fixed on Steve. ââm fine,â he muttered, willing his racing heart to slow down. His legs felt like lead as he approached the counter. Steve looked up, his eyes meeting Billyâs, and a flicker ofâŚsomethingâBilly couldnât exactly tell whatâpassed over his face.
âOh, you went with a classic!â Steve said, taking the tape from Max. âGo easy on popcorn with this. Itâs guaranteed to make your stomach hurt just from laughing.â
âSoâŚhowâs work been?â Billy asked, desperately searching for something to say.
âSame old, same old,â Steve replied with a shrug, his casual demeanor both alluring and frustrating to Billy.
âHavenât seen you around for a bit.â
The polite smile on Steveâs face faltered as he rang up the film. âYeah, been busy.â
âU-huh? Well, just so you knowâŚâ Billy started and paused. âHideaway isnât quite the same without you.â
Steve gave the tape to Max and looked at Billyâactually blushing. âIs that so?â he asked quietly.
Billy nodded, not sure his voice would carry.
Steve smiled, but the smile didnât quite reach his eyes. âMaybe Iâll stop by.â
Max interrupted them. âHey, are we going or what?â she shouted from the door.
âUh, yeah.â He glanced at Steve before walking away. âSee you.â
Max was waiting by the door, her eyebrows raised curiously. As they sat in the truck Billy drove in the wintersâheâd learned not to take the Camaro on the icy roadsâshe looked at Billy. âWhat the actual hell was that?â
Billy started the car and put it in reverse. âItâs called none of your business, shitbird.â
As he backed the truck out from the spot, making the car swirl slightly on the ice despite it having winter tires, she kept grinning. âOh, this is so, so good!â
Billy felt his cheeks burning as he stepped on the gas and the car lurched ahead. âYou know shit!â
âYouâre crushing on him! Even a blind person can see that.â
âShut up, Max. Itâs not like that.â
âOh, please,â Max scoffed. âI could practically see the hearts in your eyes from across the store. Youâve got it bad.â
âI said drop it,â Billy growled, but there was no real heat behind his words.
âYou know, you could just ask him out,â she said. âWhatâs the worst that could happen?â
Billyâs mind immediately supplied a dozen worst-case scenarios, each more mortifying than the last. âYou donât get it,â he sighed. âItâs complicated.â
After heâd dropped Max off at her trailer, Billy drove to his own and slumped onto his bed, the springs creaking under his weight. He ran a hand through his hair, loosening it from its bun. Maxâs words echoed in his mind: Whatâs the worst that could happen?
He sighed, staring at the ceiling. âSo many things,â he muttered to the empty room.
Rolling onto his side, Billy caught sight of his reflection in the mirror. His eyes stared back, filled with a mixture of longing and fear. How hard can it be to talk to someone you already know?
But Steve wasnât just someone. He was the culmination of years of hidden feelings, of stolen glances in high school hallways, of dreams Billy had barely allowed himself to acknowledge.
What if the reason he hadnât come to the Hideaway lately because he had found someonâŚ?
Billy couldnât finish the thought. The possibility of losing even the fantasy of a relationship with Steve was paralyzing.
+ + +
The neon Budweiser sign cast a soft red glow across Billyâs face as he hunched over the bar, nursing his fourth whiskey of the night. Familiar sounds of the Hideaway washed over himâraucous laughter from the pool tables, the clink of glasses, classic rock crackling through ancient speakers.
Billyâs gaze drifted to Eddie behind the bar, his long dark curls falling over his face as he mixed a rare cocktail.
Eddie glanced at him and gestured to Billyâs nearly empty glass. âAnother?â
Billy nodded, pushing it forward. As Eddie poured, Billy leaned in closer. The whiskey had loosened something inside him, melting away his usual walls.
âCan I tell you something?â Billyâs voice came out rougher than he intended. His hands trembled slightly as he wrapped them around the fresh drink.
Eddieâs eyes met his, curiosity and concern mingling in their depths. âOf course, man. Whatâs on your mind?â
Billy took a deep breath, the words heâd kept locked away bubbling up inside him. His heart raced as he searched Eddieâs face, wondering if the concern on it would turn into judgment. He decided to just go for it.
âItâs Steve,â Billy began, his voice barely above a whisper. âI canât stop thinking about him. Itâs driving me nuts.â
As the confession left his lips, Billy felt a weight lift from his chest. But another emotion quickly took its placeâfear. What if Eddie thought he was pathetic? What if word got back to Steve? Billyâs thoughts raced as he awaited Eddieâs response, the din of the bar fading away until all he could hear was the pounding of his own heart.
Eddieâs eyes widened slightly, but his expression remained open and understanding. He leaned in closer, matching Billyâs hushed tone. âYouâre still thinking about him, after all this time?â
Billyâs fingers tightened around his glass. âYeah.â He paused, swallowing hard. âI thought there was something finally happening, butâŚI donât know anymore. We got closer over the autumn, but now heâs become distant suddenly.â
Eddie nodded slowly, his gaze never leaving Billyâs face. âYeah, havenât seen him lately either. You know what happened?â
âHeâs been like that since Thanksgiving.â
âOh,â Eddie said after a while, stretching the word. Then his brows raised. âSo, why donât you go and talk with him? It seems quite obvious whatâs going on,â he said softly.
âWhat do you think is going on?â
Eddie smiled a sad smile. âHeâs jealous, man. Of you.â
âPfft,â Billy scoffed. âAs if.â
âNo as-ifs,â Eddie said, rubbing his forehead with his hand, frustrated. âJesus. Youâve pined over him for years and heâs finally warming up to you, only to go incommunicado suddenly when I turn up. Justâplease. Talk to the man.â
âJust like that? Where? I canât tell him that here! Not with dozens of people witnessing it. What if he starts shouting profanities? Calling me names?â
Eddie pondered for a moment. âDo the Byers still organize that Christmas dinner thing?â
âI guess.â Billy furrowed his brow. âYouâre suggesting I should do it there?â
âSteveâs still friends with Dustin, right? I can tell Dustin to ask Steve to come. All you need to do is get yourself there somehow.â
âI could ask Max if sheâs going,â Billy mused.
âOr if not,â Eddie said with a grin, âyou can always just crash the party.â
+ + +
The wind whipped snow against Steveâs face as he pushed through the heavy wooden door of the Hideaway a few nights later. Warmth and the familiar scent of stale beer enveloped them, a stark contrast to the biting cold outside.
His eyes adjusted to the dim light, scanning the familiar faces until he spotted Eddie behind the bar. He made his way over, collapsing onto a worn barstool.
âRough day?â Eddie asked, already reaching for a bottle.
Steve managed a wry smile. âYou could say that. Hit me.â
As Eddie poured, Steveâs mind wandered to Billyâand Eddie. The grab of jealousy around his throat tightened. âSoâŚhowâs it going with Billy?â he asked, acting nonchalant.
âHanging out, listening to music, shooting shit. Why?â Eddie replied, wiping a glass with a towel.
There was something in the way Eddie said the words that made Steveâs stomach churn. He emptied his glass in one swig. âNothing I guess.â
Eddie raised an eyebrow as he kept on with wiping the glass.
Steve was sure Eddie knew what he was talking about. He tapped the counter with his fingers. âAnother one.â
After Eddie had poured the amber liquid into his glass, Steve kept looking at him. âWerenât you supposed to be headlining stadiums by now?â he asked.
âWhat can I say?â Eddie smirked. âThe bright lights of Hawkins were just too alluring to resist.â
Steve let out a rueful laugh. âRight.â
Eddie suddenly poured himself a drink, too. âNot really supposed to do this, but hell, itâs a slow night, anyway. One doesnât hurt.â He raised his glass. âTo Hawkins?â
Steve hesitated for a moment before clinking his beer against Eddieâs shot glass. âNot that it deserves it, but hey.â
As the night wore on and the drinks flowed, Steve loosened up, but never really got to the point that he felt fully comfortable with Eddie. Between serving other clients, while Eddie had talked in abundance about his life in LAâa far cry from the superstardom everyone thought it had beenâhe had revealed nothing deeper from his and Billyâs relationship.
It was eating Steve alive. Which meant he maybe took a few drinks too much over the evening.
When he asked for yet another drink, Eddie placed a pint of water in front of him. âThis first.â
Steve furrowed his brow as he stared at the glass. âYou getting all worried about me now?â he slurred.
âSomeoneâs gotta look after you.â
Eddie went to serve other customers and Steve dutifully sipped the water, feeling his head clearing a bit.
Maybe Eddie wasnât a bad guy. Maybe he was better for Billy than he would ever be. He was always whining about being stuck, while it admittedly mightâve been a bit of his own making, and now he was moping over losing a guy he never even knew that well.
When Eddie came back, he smiled at the empty water glass in front of Steve. âI can pour you one beer. But then Iâll close your tap.â
âFair.â
Eddie poured the beer, and after placing it in front of Steve, he leaned his elbows on the counter, lowering his voice. âYou okay, man? You seemâŚI donât know, like somethingâs eating you.â
Steveâs eyes snapped back to Eddieâs face, a flicker of panic churning in his stomach. ââm fine,â he said, a little too quickly. âJustâŚthinking. About stuff.â
âWanna talk about it?â Eddie prompted gently.
Steve sighed, tracing patterns in the condensation on his glass. ââs complicated. Thereâs someoneâŚâ he trailed off, shaking his head. âNever mind. Itâs stupid.â
A smile tucked the corner of Eddieâs mouth. âSomeone? You holding out on your bartender? Whoâs the lucky lady?â
Steveâs cheeks flushed, and he looked away. âItâs notâŚI mean, there isnâtâŚâ he stuttered, then took another long drink of his beer. He glanced towards the door, though not sure if it was to get up and run or just to make sure Billy wouldnât walk in.
Eddie kept looking at him, not pushing him into talking.
Steve couldnât hold it in any longer. âI thinkâŚâ he said, his voice barely above a whisper. ââŚIâm in love with Billy.â
It felt as if the words had punched the air out of the barâthough Steve wasnât entirely sure if it was just how he felt.
âHow long?â Eddie asked simply, his expression neutral.
Steve shrugged, his fingers fidgeting with the napkin on the side of his glass. âFor a while. Since autumn. I guess.â
âHave you told him?â Eddie asked gently.
Steveâs head snapped up. âGod, no. I canâtâŚHeâd neverâŚItâs Billy, for Christâs sake,â Steve said, as if that explained everything. In his mind, it did. âHeâs straight. And even if he wasnât, why would he want me?â The doubt that had been gnawing at Steve for a long time spilled out in a rush. âIâm justâŚme. Pathetic loser, stuck in this dead-end town, working a job I hate. He deserves better.â
Eddieâs eyes softened with understanding. âSteve, man, youâre selling yourself short. He cares about you.â
Steve stared at Eddie for a moment, not quite believing his words. âOh, come on, youâre shitting me.â When Eddieâs gaze remained serious, it hit Steve. âOh shit. Youâre serious?â
Eddieâs smile was sad, and Steve wasnât entirely sure why.
âYeah, he does.â
Steve shot up from his chair. âI gotta go tell himâŚâ
âWhoa there, Romeo!â Eddie said as he rushed out from behind the bar and guided Steve back to lean on the bar. âI think youâve had enough for tonight.â
Steve blinked, surprised to find the room swaying slightly. âIâm fine, I can drive,â he protested weakly, fumbling for his keys.
Eddieâs hand closed over Steveâs, prying the keys out of it gently but firmly. âNot a chance, man. Come on, Iâm not working alone tonight. Iâll clock out early and take you home.â
Steve wanted to argue, but the words felt thick in his mouth. He allowed Eddie to guide him off the barstool, his legs wobbling beneath him.
Eddie steadied him, throwing Steveâs arm over his shoulder. âLetâs get you home.â
The cool night air hit Steveâs face as they stumbled out of the Hideaway. Eddie maneuvered him into the passenger seat of his beat-up truck, the metal band stickers on the dashboard blurring in Steveâs vision.
âEddie,â Steve mumbled as they drove, streetlights flashing by. âWhat ifâŚwhat if I mess everything up?â
Eddieâs eyes stayed on the road, but his voice was gentle. âYou wonât, man. JustâŚtalk to him when youâre sober, okay? Be honest.â
Steveâs head lolled against the window, the glass cool against his flushed skin. âYeahâŚokay,â he murmured, his eyelids growing heavy.
+ + +
The morning sun stabbed through Steveâs eyelids like a thousand tiny daggers. He groaned, rolling over in his bed, the sheets tangled around his legs. His head throbbed, and his mouth felt like it was stuffed with cotton.
âOh, fuck,â he groaned, pulling the pillow from under his head and over his face to block the sunlight.
He stayed like that for a moment until the headache became unbearable. Pushing himself up on his elbows, he looked around the roomâand realized he was in his own bed.
Good, at least heâd made it home. He had no recollection of leaving the bar, though. Had he driven home or walked? No idea.
âChristâŚâ he sat up slowly, wincing at the hammering in his skull. The world immediately started swaying, and he had to close his eyes.
His head was killing him. It was bad enough that he had drank this much. And that since it was a weekdayâwas it? Or not?âhe probably had a shift in the afternoon.
âFucking idiot,â he chided himself as he carefully got up and found the wall to support him on his slow shuffle towards the bathroom.
He splashed cold water on his face and looked at himself in the mirror. It reflected his disheveled appearance, pale face with dark circles under his eyes. He turned on the shower and took off his jeans. At least heâd managed to get his shirt and shoes off when coming home. Which was probably an achievement as itself, considering.
Under the warm stream of water, he tried to remember what had happened last night. He remembered going into the bar with the intention of trying to coax information out of Eddie about his and Billyâs relationship. Great idea but incredibly bad executionâhe had no recollection whatsoever about what heâd learned, or if heâd learned anything.
So, basically, he was back in square one.
He probably had no choice but to go with Robinâs plan; get the miniature model of the Camaro and give it to Billy at Christmas.
+++
Billyâs reflection stared back at him, a mix of anticipation and dread swirling in his eyes. He adjusted the collar of his red shirt for the tenth time, the curl over his right eyeâagain.
He hadnât been this nervous about anything relating to things of the heart for a long time. Not sinceâŚwell, when heâd asked Eddie to stayâand Eddie had chosen LA over him.
He lit a smoke. Heâd tried to go without today, but this was too much. His hands needed something to do.
âSo, hey, Steve,â he practiced, wincing at the awkward tremor in his voice. âNo, too casual,â he muttered, running a hand through his hair. âSteve, Iâve been meaning to tell youâŚâ
His heart raced as he imagined Steveâs eyes fixed on him, waiting for the words heâd held back for so long. He took a pull from his smoke, squaring his shoulders and jumping a little to loosen himself.
âYou can do this,â he told his reflection, trying to channel the confidence he usually wore like armor. But as he gazed at himself, he saw past the tough exterior all the way inside to the soft center. âDonât screw this up,â he whispered.
He looked at the small box that was waiting on the bedside table. Heâd spend hours on trying to think of something Steve wouldâve liked and even tried to gouge some ideas out of Max. She hadnât really been helpful, just had kept teasing him about his crush. But at least she had promised to keep it to herself for now.
He just hoped Steve would like the gift heâd come up with. And the reason why.
With one last glance in the mirror, he grabbed the present, his new thick leather jacket and keys, heading out into the snowy night.
Max pulled the door of the truck open and hopped in. âHow in the hell is it this cold in here? Even momâs car has a heater.â
âHey! Itâs not the warmest, but gets the job done,â Billy said. âDonât remember you complaining whenever you needed a lift to Lucasâ place,â he said with a lilt.
Max glared at him before she noticed the present in the nook between the dashboard and the windshield. She reached out to take it. âWhatâs this?â
Billy slapped her hand away. âYou werenât any help picking it, so youâll learn when everyone else does.â He paused. âUnless Steve thinks it sucks,â he added quietly.
Max glanced at him. âHey, Iâm sure Steve likes it, whatever it is.â
âYou think so?â
âYeah. Heâs great. Like, seriously great.â
âYeah, he is.â
Warm light glowed from every single window of the Byers-Hopperâs house. Christmas music drifted through the door as they approached, snow crunching underneath their boots.
Max rang the doorbell and glanced at Billy. She took his hand in hers and squeezed it. âJust be yourself.â
Joyce opened the door. âHi Max! And Billy! My goodness, I havenât seen you in ages. Come on in!â
The party was in full swing, the living room packed with familiar faces. Garlands and twinkling lights adorned every surface, casting a festive glow over the gathering.
Max vanished somewhere in the house with El, and Billy was left alone in the doorway to the living room. He scanned the room, searching for a sign of Steve. His heart sank as he realized he wasnât there.
Would he turn up? Steve was friends with the curly haired nerd who was also Lucasâ friend. It would make sense that heâd be invited as well. Maybe he just hadnât yet arrived.
His thoughts were interrupted by a familiar voice calling out to him. âHey, tough guy!â
Eddie appeared through the crowd, his trademark grin in place as he pushed a red plastic cup into Billyâs hand.
âThanks,â Billy said, lifting the cup to his nose and sniffing cautiously. âWhatâs in this?â
Eddieâs eyes twinkled mischievously. âJust a little Christmas magic. Trust me, you look like you could use it.â
Billy took a sip, the warmth of whiskey spreading through his chest. He eyed Eddie suspiciously. âWhatâs that supposed to mean?â
Eddie leaned in, his voice dropping conspiratorially. âYouâre here for a reason and it ainât the eggnog.â
Billyâs brow furrowed as he processed Eddieâs words, knowing well this was all Eddieâs idea. âIâŚI have no idea what youâre talking about,â he mumbled, his carefully constructed confidence crumbling.
Eddie just shook his head, his smile softening. âSure you donât.â
+ + +
Steveâs fingers tightened around the gift-wrapped box as he stood on the Byers-Hopperâs snow-dusted front door with Robin, their breaths forming small clouds in the frigid air. The muffled sounds of laughter and music drifted through the closed door, each note amplifying the nervous energy coursing through his body.
âYou know, if you squeeze that present any harder, you might just turn it into a diamond,â Robin quipped, her eyes twinkling with mischief.
Steve let out a shaky laugh. âIâm that obvious, huh?â
âOnly to someone who knows you,â Robin replied, nudging him with her elbow. âRelax. Itâs just Billy.â
Just Billy.
He took a deep breath, steeling himself. âRight. Just Billy. The guy Iâm about to confess my feelings to. No big deal,â he muttered, his attempt at sarcasm falling flat.
Robinâs expression softened. âHey, youâve got this. And if it all goes south, Iâve got a pint of Rocky Road with your name on it back home.â
Steve managed a weak smile. âThanks.â
With one last encouraging nod from Robin, Steve reached out and rang the doorbell. The chimes barely faded before the door swung open, bathing them in warm light and the scent of cinnamon and pine.
After leaving their coats in the hall, they stepped into the living roomâand Steveâs senses were immediately overwhelmed.
The room had been transformed into a winter wonderland; twinkling lights cast a soft glow over the sea of familiar faces, and in the corner stood a towering Christmas tree, its ornaments glinting like stars.
Steveâs eyes, however, were drawn to a single point across the room. There, leaning against the far wall with a drink in hand, stood Billy. His hair was open, cascading over his shoulders as a wavy waterfall, the trademark curl hanging over his eye.
And then there wasâŚEddie.
Billy was laughing at something he had said, his eyes crinkling at the corners in a way that made Steveâs heart skip a beat.
The two of them looked so at ease, so comfortable in each otherâs presence.
Steve hesitated, then turned away and sauntered towards the kitchen, stopping to lean to the railing of the second floor staircase.
Maxâs voice carried over from upstairs. ââŚBillyâs been talking about him non-stop. I really hope they hit it off so that I wouldnât have to listen to it anymore.â
A giggle of two girls followed.
Steve froze. His heart, which had been racing with anticipation, now felt like it was plummeting into his stomach.
âThey really deserve to be happy,â another girlâs voiceâit was probably Elâchimed in.
Steve glanced back at Billy, who was laughing at something Eddie had said, his eyes bright and carefree.
Iâm such an idiot, Steve thought, his chest constricting. The room suddenly felt too small, too crowded. He needed air.
âIâll be right back,â he said as he pushed past Robin and towards the backdoor and the backyard.
âHey, whatâs going on?â Robin asked.
âI need air,â he said as he pushed the door open.
The cold night air hit him like a slap to the face as he walked into the backyard. Steve gripped the railing, his breath coming out in visible puffs. The wrapped gift in his hand felt like a lead weight, a reminder of his misplaced hopes.
What was I even thinking, he thought, staring out into the darkness.
His fingers traced the edges of the gift, remembering the care heâd taken in assembling it. Now, it seemed like a foolish gesture. He leaned heavily against the railing, the cold seeping into his bones, matching the chill that had settled in his heart.
+ + +
Billyâs eyes widened when he noticed the odd girl whom with Steve always hanged out withâRobin, if he remembered rightâwalking towards him with a determined expression and pointing at him with his finger. Without batting an eye, she invaded his space and pushed the finger on his chest, making him lean into the wall.
âYou. Have made. My life. A misery.â
His brows furrowed, annoyance flaring inside him. âExcuse me?â He was sure his tone shouldâve made her back up, but it didnât seem to have any effect on her.
If any, it made her feistier.
She grabbed his arm and pushed him in front of her into the kitchen that was empty at the moment. âI have been listening to him talk about you over and over again for the last few months. I donât know what happened then, but something changed.â She pointed towards the back door. âFinish it. Today.â
Billyâs jaw clenched, his tough facade cracking slightly. âI literally have no idea what youâre talking about.â
âCut the crap,â Robin hissed, her eyes flashing. âHe told me about your gal. Takes a beard to know one.â
Billyâs eyes widened. âI still donâtâŚâ
âI know Heather.â The determination on her face faltered. âWe were best friends.â
Billyâs mouth hung open. Heather had told him about her first love. Who had been her best friend.
He was utterly lost for words at the revelation, and Robin mustâve realized it since her face softened. âDonât walk away because youâre scared,â she whispered.
Billyâs shoulders slumped. âWhat ifâŚâ
Robin smiled. âThereâs no what-ifs, trust me.â She nodded towards the backdoor. âHeâs in there.â
Billy hesitated, his eyes darting towards the door.
Robin gave him a push. âGo.â
+ + +
Billy stepped out into the frigid night, the sudden chill biting through his thin shirt. His breath clouded in front of him as he scanned the backyard, fairy lights twinkling softly against the darkness. Then he saw himâSteve, leaning against the terrace railing, his shoulders hunched against the cold.
Billyâs heart clenched at the sight of Steveâs dejected posture. He approached cautiously. âHey,â he called softly, his voice barely audible above the muffled sounds of the party inside.
Steve turned at the sound, his eyes widening in surprise. For a moment, hope flickered across his face before being quickly masked by caution. âHey, Hargrove,â he said, his voice catching slightly. âWhat are you doing out here?â
Billy stopped a few feet away, suddenly unsure. He rubbed the back of his neck nervously. âI, uhâŚI noticed you were missing from the party.â
Steveâs laugh was hollow. âYeah, wellâŚneeded some air, I guess.â
They stood facing each other, the tension between them almost tangible. Billyâs mind raced, searching for the right words. Heâd imagined this moment countless times, but now that it was here, he felt paralyzed.
âListen, Steve,â he began, his voice rough with emotion. âIââ
âItâs fine,â Steve interrupted, his expression guarded. âYou donât have to explain. I get it.â
Billy frowned, confusion replacing his nervousness. âGet what?â
Steve looked away, his grip tightening on the porch railing. âYou andâŚI overheard Max talking with someone earlier. AboutâŚabout someone youâre interested in. Eddie. Itâs no biggie. Your secret is safe with me.â
Billyâs heart skipped a beat. At the same time, he made a note of having a talk with Max later. âUhâŚâ he said softly, taking a step closer. âI think youâveâŚmisunderstood.â
Steveâs eyes snapped back to Billy. âWhat do you mean?â he asked, his voice barely above a whisper.
Billy took a deep breath, steeling himself. The cold air nipped at his exposed chest, but he barely noticed. All he could focus on was Steve, standing there, looking both vulnerable and guarded.
âWeâre just friends with Eddie.â He looked down at his feet. âEver since he chose stardom and fame. If you get my drift.â
Steveâs eyes widened, his lips parting in surprise. âOh.â he breathed, disbelief clear in his voice.
Billy nodded, feeling the bittersweet pang of the past. âYeah, oh.â
âSo, uh,â Steve began, clearing his throat. âThis guy she was talking aboutâŚâ
A small smile tucked the corner of Billyâs mouth. âNot Eddie.â
Steve rubbed the back of his neck with his hand. âRight.â
Their eyes met, and the world seemed to narrow to just the two of them. The tension between them was palpable, crackling like electricity in the air.
Steveâs words cut through it. âI actually have something for you.â
Billyâs heart skipped a beat. âYou do?â
Steve nodded, hesitating for a moment before taking the small present that was sitting on the railing next to him and holding it out to Billy.
Billy took it and turned it around. âWhat is it?â
âOpen it and youâll see.â
Billy unwrapped the box and opened the lid to see a miniature model of a Camaro, an exact replica of his prized possession. The details were perfect, right down to the blue color.
âYou seem to be inseparable from that car, so I thoughtâŚâ Steve said, his voice soft and slightly uncertain. âItâs a stupid toy, I know, butâŚâ
Billy stared at the car, a lump forming in his throat. His eyes widened as he studied it, drinking in every intricate detail of the model. The familiar curves of the body, the tiny white text in the wheels, even the tiny license plateâit was all there.
âSteve, this isâŚâ Billyâs voice trailed off, thick with emotion. He swallowed hard, his eyes meeting Steveâs gaze. âItâs incredible. Thank you.â
A warmth bloomed in Billyâs chest, spreading through him like wildfire. Could this mean what he thought it meant? The care and attention Steve had put into this giftâit had to be more than just friendship, right? A glimmer of hope sparked within him, making his heart race.
âIâm glad you like it,â Steve said softly, a shy smile playing at his lips.
Billy cleared his throat, suddenly remembering his own gift. âI, uhâŚI have something for you too.â He reached into his pocket, fumbling slightly as he pulled out a small object wrapped in tissue paper. He held it out to Steve. âMerry Christmas.â
Steve took the gift and unwrapped it to reveal an intricately carved Zippo lighter. For a moment, he looked confused.
Billy saw the surprised look on Steveâs face. âI know you donât smoke. Itâs, uhâŚI was thinking that, uh,âŚif you had a lighter, thenâŚthen you could always give me light when I needed it.â
Steve looked up, his dark eyes questioning. Billy felt his resolve wavering under that intense gaze, and he looked down at his feet.
âIâve been holding onto this for a long time,â Billy said, his words coming out in a rush. âSince high school, actually. IâŚIâve, uh, had a crush on you.â His hands were shaking now, and he held the box of the miniature model with his both hands to hide it. âI never thought I had a chance, but after the my gal thingâŚI donât know. Something changed.â
He finally dared to look at Steveâs face, bracing himself for rejection. Instead, he saw a mix of emotions flashing across Steveâs featuresâsurprise, confusion, and something else Billy couldnât quite identify.
+++
Steve was silent for a long moment, processing Billyâs words. His heart was racing, a whirlwind of emotions threatening to overwhelm him. Heâd never imagined Billy harboring these feelings for him, especially not this long. The revelation sent a jolt through him.
âIâŚâ he started, his voice thick with emotion. âSince Eddie came back, I thought you two wereâŚâ His eyes met Billyâs, filled with a newfound intensity. âYouâre right. Something changed back then. But I was scared, you know? Scared of ruiningâŚwhatever we had, scared of what youâd say.â He took a step closer, his voice dropping to a near-whisper. âI didnât want to lose you.â
Billyâs blue gaze met Steveâs dark eyes, and in that moment, the tension that had simmered beneath the surface suddenly crystallized into something tangible, something undeniable.
+++
Billyâs heart thundered in his chest, his tough exterior crumbling in the face of this newfound vulnerability. He saw his own longing reflected in Steveâs eyes, and it took his breath away. âSteve,â he whispered, his voice rough with emotion. âI never thoughtâŚI mean, I hoped, butâŚâ
Steve nodded, understanding flooding his features. âI know,â he murmured, a small smile playing at the corners of his mouth. âMe too.â
The world around them seemed to fade away, the falling snow and the chill in the air forgotten. Billy found himself drawn forward, as if pulled by an invisible thread. He moved slowly, giving Steve every opportunity to back away, but he stood his ground, gaze never wavering.
Billyâs hand trembled slightly as he reached up to cup Steveâs cheek. The warmth of his skin against Billyâs palm sent a shiver down his spine. He leaned in, pausing just a breath away from Steveâs lips. âIs this okay?â he asked softly, his heart in his throat.
Steveâs response was to close the distance between them, pressing his lips gently against Billyâs. The kiss was tender, almost hesitant at first, but quickly deepened as the pent-up emotion poured out. Billyâs fingers tangled in Steveâs dark hair, pulling him closer, while Steveâs arms wrapped around Billyâs waist, anchoring them together.
As they kissed, Billyâs mind raced. How many nights had he lain awake, alone in his trailer, imagining this very moment? How many times had he watched Steve from afar, certain that his feelings would never be returned?
Now, with Steveâs body pressed against his own, those doubts seemed ridiculous.
When they finally broke apart, both were panting. Billy rested his forehead against Steveâs, unwilling to let go. The cold winter air swirled around them, highlighting the heat building between their bodies.
Steveâs fingers brushed Billyâs back gently. âWhat do we do now?â he asked, a hint of uncertainty in his voice.
The distant sound of laughter from inside the house filtered into the backyard, reminding them of the world beyond this moment.
Billy took a deep breath, reality slowly seeping back in. âI guessâŚwe should go back,â he said reluctantly. He didnât want to go back. He wanted to go somewhere with Steve. Alone with Steve.
âI donât want to waste any more time,â Steve said with a soft smile. âLetâs get our coats and go somewhere, just the two of us. We have so much catching up to do. Right?â
A wide smile spread across Billyâs face. âYou read my mind.â He marveled at the way Steve blushed at his words. âYou know,â he said, his voice low, âI always thought Iâd leave this place first chance I got.â
Steve nodded, his fingers still drawing circles on Billyâs back. âAnd now?â
âIâm starting to think that it was the right choice to stay this long.â
âYeah,â Steve said, his voice barely audible, âme too.â
#harringrove#harringrove fic#billy hargrove#steve harrington#billy x steve#steve x billy#suometar writes#stranger things#stranger things fanfiction#harringrove holiday exchange#hhe2024
15 notes
¡
View notes
Text
Harringrove Holiday Exchange 2024 - For Jade - Enemies to Lovers - 24.12.2024 & 01.01.2025

Now that anonymity is lifted ! đ
It was a pleasure to work on this gift for @jad3w1ngs for the @harringroveholidayexchange !
I hope I did alright with a enemies to lovers trope đđ Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays !

Done using watercolors, ink pens, gel pens, colored pencils, alcohol markers, graphite pencils, acrylic paint pens and Photoshop for the background
AO3 post / Bluesky post / DeviantArt post / Instagram post / Pillowfort post / Twitter post
#harringrove holiday exchange 2024#harringrove holiday exchange#harringroveholidayexchange2024#harringroveholidayexchange#HHE2024#HHE#stranger things#harringrove#billy hargrove#steve harrington#cw: blood#enemies to friends to lovers#enemies to lovers#fanart#tallula03's art
13 notes
¡
View notes