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ringmyheart · 4 years ago

Note

Hey was wondering if I could get something for lookism characters with an older s/o, like they're 3-4 older. Please do goo, Jake kim and Scott kwon.

Good luck with the blog🤩🤩🤩

Goo Kim

When you get into the relationship, of course he knows ur age and that you’re a few years older than him, and at first he doesn’t mention it but once ur like just a little bit closer he’s probably gonna poke fun at the fact

Because there’s nothing wrong w u being older it’s just that in all the stereotypical or general movies or shows or books it’s like the older person in the relationship is usually the like stronger or more providing person ends up being the oldest in the relationship and ur not useless in the relationship at all but he’s out there like killing ppl and raking in thousands a day at like 19 😭

If ur walking around in public and someone stares at u for a little longer or one of the ten geniuses is looking at u just casually he’ll get up in their face and b like “whaaat?! Do you know who you’re staring at? That’s your elder over there!! Show some respect!!”

He definitely sends u cringy texts like “how’s my favorite 21 year old 😍😍😍😍” and it’s clearly somewhat condescending but he means it endearingly simultaneously

If u don’t know something that he asks u he’ll raise a brow and go “really? A four year head start and u can’t tell me that 🤨” and it’s all good fun but he’s always gonna say stuff like that

And this is all unprompted, if he knows ur actually kinda like insecure for whatever reason that ur older than him, maybe bc he’s already getting cash like crazy at his age, he’ll either start making fun of u relentlessly OR if ur serious about it he’ll cut it out of course and never mention it again. He might try to make u feel better by being like “don’t worry!! Physically and mentally im probably years older than you 😘” and it doesn’t really make u feel better probably but he kind of tries

It’s honestly no big deal to him what ur age is, but if he knows u don’t like him mentioning it so much he will bc he likes to be annoying LMAO and whenever u accomplish something he’ll be like “did u see what my s/o did?! My 21/22yr old s/o?! At their old age they’re still kicking it!!” And ur in NO means old but he just wants to strike a nerve in u and fight in public for fun

But when u put him joking about it aside, it really doesn’t mean anything in the relationship honestly. He doesn’t feel like there’s a certain way for things to go nd just goes about things normally, and he doesn’t really see people older than him as wiser or anytning so he’s not gonna like go to you for advice or ask you to figure things out for him just bc ur older

And honestly u don’t even need a job anymore bc ur gonna b together for a long time and he makes SOOO much money so if u hate ur job or college u have the opportunity to do what u want in life without worrying ab the pay bc he makes it all for u

And yeah he’s pretty stingy w money besides being filthy rich but when or if u need it he’ll give it to u ofc and he wants u to pursue what u like too so he’ll even go to ur job or college and just inform them “btw (y/n) isn’t gonna work here anymore” for u and gets u a job as whatever u want. He beats up ur boss so u can get promoted or something but if u ask about it he’ll deny it anyways and it’s like who else would beat tf out of my boss and he shrugs

Or if u like ur current job or college he’ll threaten the school or ur boss LMAO and have them give u more money or make u pay less or promote u

Even tho ur older than him he sees himself as the like leader of u two ?? Like he’s a really joke-y guy on the exterior but behind the scenes he is doing all the like hard stuff so u don’t have to. Like he sees it as he helps u and if u never offer much help or advice he doesn’t gaf, it’s like he helps u and in return he gets u LMAO

If u like ur job or college, don’t wanna quit and don’t want him threatening ur superiors he is like the number one customer of u guys

Like if u r working retail or as a cashier he is always going to that store nd buying stuff nd funding ur business and he gets chairman choi to do so too

Or he’ll just buy ur company or college LMFAO and suddenly sales r booming and u don’t know why r ur classes r so much easier

Yeah ur older than him and the twelve geniuses but he doesn’t let u near them 😐 he doesn’t want u to be a part of that type of business and honestly keeps u away from it besides maybe gun bc he’s always around him but that’s it

Like he doesn’t want u anywhere near his business or that type of stuff and if ur curios about it he says “u will understand when ur my age” or something LMAO so u will stop asking. It’s like the 1 time he’s suddenly rlly serious

If anyone else mentions how ur older than him in a demeaning way he’ll def be mad it’s like HE can make fun of u but no one else can, like ever. He will fight them nd win even if it’s just on the street or something

He’s threatened like two of ur friends behind ur back bc they made fun of u once and u mentioned it LMAO

He makes u do taxes (does he even do taxes ????? LMFAO) but if he does he makes u do them bc suddenly he thinks ur so much smarter and wiser

If he’s in a rut and needs ur help and it’s something dumb like he lost something he’ll b like “cmooon ur so much smarter than me 😣😩 ur like 21 u would know this for sure” to make u do it and he uses flattery

None of the ten geniuses know ur name bc he’s tryna keep u safe lol

If ur ever in a situation somehow vaguely similar to one he’s in and he needs help on it he’ll ask u what u did, and if u say something surprisingly smart or wise he’ll be kinda surprised bc I feel like he’s cocky and doesn’t think others can help him that much but u do

But overall, it means nothing to him and it doesn’t matter how much older u r he’s still gonna feel like the protector

Jake Kim

It REALLY means nothing to him. Like he honestly never mentions it and ur like does he even know??? Bc a guy like him who’s like a leader of a whole enterprise type thing gang usually seems like he’d wanna be the elder in a relationship so ur like “... u know I’m like 4yrs older than u right?”

And he’s like “...yeah? Was that important or something?” And just blinks at u so ur like ... never mind

Honestly he probably makes u a bank account and puts money in it to surprise u on ur birthday or something like a little fund thing and he has a bank account on the side for u that has like thousands of dollars

If u ever feel bad or weird that ur older than him bc he is so successful and younger than u, he wonders why it even matters??? Who gaf??? And he’ll just hug u or something and is like pls don’t even worry about that... wth

If u ever feel petty bc he’s so much more successful than u bc it’s like when u have a hobby that u love and then a kid ends up being so much better at it than u but SO much worse bc he has like millions at like 19 💀 then he’s like okay but it’s OUR little enterprise now since we r together to assure u. He’s not cocky about it at all

But he won’t offer for u to join or try and help him out in making money even if he’s got to or it’s vital bc he also doesn’t want u involved w Big Deal at ALLLLLLL either, u could literally b like the smartest person in the world but once ur his s/o he probably doesn’t want u involved in his business at all

He does assume ur kind of wiser than him bc of ur age, so he’ll ask u for help or advice more often

Tbh regardless in a relationship he probably doesn’t leave any work for u to do like he does everything the financial stuff the living stuff everything so it doesn’t matter if ur older than him or if u see it as ur responsibility bc of that he’s still gonna bring in the money for y’all

Like he’s gonna take care of everything even if ur older so there’s no pressure for u to “act ur age”

Never brings up the fact that ur older than him, but maybe once in a fight it got bad and he yelled “ffs ur 21 u should know better than this!!” And that hurt ur feelings or something so from then on he just never ever mentioned it

And when others mention it he makes a cut throat motion like “stfu😡” bc he took it as u not liking ur age being brought up rather than u not liking it being held against u but it’s still kinda sweet how he tries to preserve ur feelings sm

If ur in college or something, he tries to help u w hw and stuff and he’s rlly educationally smart I think like he might’ve gotten bad grades but he understands quickly

And eventually he’s just doing ur hw for u LMAO

One time he probably accidentally wrote “Jake Kim” on the top of ur hw and u had to explain to ur professor why that happened

If u work, he probably also bribes ur boss or something to give u a raise and promotion or if u wanna move jobs but r scared of the low pay he feels like it’s a dumb fear bc he is clearly rich af, like u probably don’t even need a job 😭😭

Ur allowed to since ur in ur 20s legally but he doesn’t like or doesn’t let u go around casinos bc he’s seen firsthand how bad gambling is and he has the money to compensate if u ever get into gambling and lose a lot but he just doesn’t want u to feel guilty or get addicted

Like if u pass a casino and wanna go in and r like hey wanna check it out he just grabs ur hand and keeps walking and is like “let’s not” and probably asks u at one point to pls not get into gambling

If ur kinda petty bc he’s so much better at fighting than u despite being younger he’s like u don’t even need to fight I can literally do that for u???? Bc he feels like the only reason U would ever need to fight is to protect urself so if u wanna do it for fun he’ll teach u but doesn’t take it that srsly

He maybe made like one joke ab ur age or sent u a meme he saw ab relationships but u left him on read and it was just a bad joke or something but yeah overall he really refrains from bringing up ur age like ever 😭😭

He thinks ur insecure bc ur getting older or something and that’s y so he might start going like “looking youthful today 😀👍” every morning to u and ur like oh hehe thanks ????????

If someone else ever voices that they think it’s weird ur older than him he’ll fight them too like first he’ll go “(y/n), is this ur friend ?” Like he did w jiho and if ur like no he’s like oh :)) and then punches them or something

Doesn’t tell u stuff ab his business and ur like I’m 20-23 I can handle it and he just refuses anyways and will leave u in the dark bc yk won’t even risk it

Someone in Big Deal might be like “use ur s/o to help us work nd get money since they’re old they seem professional” he kicked them out immediately ur not touching that shit

But generally, he doesn’t care about it at all, and honestly just cares ab u and not ur age

Scott Kwon

He definitely uses u to get into places only ppl 20+ can enter LMAOO

He’ll have u walk in first and then slip in past u and if he gets caught he grabs u and goes “THIS is my s/o!!! They’re clearly of age, and I’m their s/o so clearly I am of age too 😤😤”

Ur banned from like 50 bars because of this like there’s a little “if these two come and ask u to enter their bar DO NOT LET THEM ENTER!!” Wall for y’all

He might try and hide in ur coat or something to get in but it never works

He definitely makes fun of ur age in a cocky way like haha... an older person wanted to get with ME. Little old me. And he feels like hot stuff bc of it for sure

Brags about it a lot like will take out ur photo and goes “u see this?? My s/o?? Yeah they’re in love w me and THREE YRS OLDER... hold ur applause guys” and it boosts his ego sm

He sends u scarily recent memes or jokes on the internet ab older s/o’s if there r any, and eventually when u go on his Instagram at least 1/3rd of his feed is just ageist jokes

If it really hurts ur feelings, he won’t tell any jokes ab it and won’t mention it ever again but will continue to utilize ur age to do things he can’t at age 18-19

He feels proud that he’s making sm money and is such a good fighter despite being younger than u bc he feels like it makes u look up to him so he’ll boast about it like he’ll punch something and go see that babe????? I can do that and I’m only 19!!! And ur like omg that’s so cooollll!!!!! <3 and his heart just swells

Pays for anything u want like buys u everything u ask for or just look at tbh, and also feels like u have no responsibility just bc ur older and seees himself as like the “leader” if the relationship and has a sense of duty to helping u and everything

Steers u away from trouble ASAP too it doesn’t matter if u can hold off on ur own, if he sees guys that just look mean he and u r walking the other way and ur like bro what?? And he just lies and is like I liked the sunset this direction or smmn and he doesn’t confide in u ab scary things

Bc yeah u can probably handle scary or threatening news but he’s not gna risk it regardless

If he’s rlly stressed ab something that can’t endanger u he won’t tell u that much ab it but might vaguely describe his predicament and looks to u for help and comfort and u just listen and he feels so much better afterwards and he’s telling u all this and ur just like mhm uh-huh :) and so he starts confiding in u more

But ruins it by going like “damn old ppl r good listeners 😆” and ur like STOPPPPPPP

Everyone in God Dog knows ur name age face and occupation bc he’s always talking ab u LMAO

When he was younger and didn’t have that much leniency with the law he made u his legal guardian so he can do what he wants and he tries to use u to get him to do stuf by pointing to u and going “they’re my legal guardian and they say I can drink all this!!” And ur like “no I absolutely do not???!!!!!” And he thought by doing that he’d get anytning but u prioritize his health 🙄 and he’s annoyed but secretly loves it and loves u doting on him nd worrying ab him and his well-being lol

In general, he rlly doesn’t care that ur older than him. His only big concern I. A relationship ever is how he can keep u safe bc he’s in pretty like tough stuff, and he’ll make fun of u but in all good fun and loves u sm

Thank you for the request, and thanks for the wish of luck <3 I’ll the my best w this blog!! I’m not that good at writing for Jake Kim, btw, because his character can kinda confuse me sometimes but he seems to be popular so I hope I get more requests of him so I can get his character down and write him properly. 💘I hope this was what u wanted 😭

#Lookism x reader #Goo x reader #Scott Kwon x reader #Jake Kim x reader #Goo Kim x reader

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monarchisms · 3 years ago

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Okay so, first he and his friends bash Hbomb and Scott, the guy who is supposedly their friend and the guy who organizes and invites them to mcc over things everyone knows about. Everyone knows about the glitch in hole in the wall and many have or tried to exploit it and they will continue to do so, usually no one cares because it's honestly just part of the game. And Everyone knows that Scott tests the new maps first, that is not new info, that is not some shocking revelation it's common knowledge for people who really like mcc. And yet when the dteam complained and said that they were cheating about those things all of their fans went nuts and started sending hate and DEATH THREATS to them. I don't really know about Scott but I know this really hurt H and Rightfully so. What did Dream do to stop all the hate? Nothing, oh wait no he did tell them during the stream to not send hate before he continued to shit on them and there is no way he actually thought that would stop them. Anyone who knows about dream stans knows that they are horrible to people that Dream doesn't like and he sure was acting like he didn't like them. He knew what they would do, he didn't care. And most importantly THEY DIDN'T CHEAT.

And then this bitch turns around and admits that he cheated and a thing he denies cheating at for ages and all of those fans that send DEATH THREATS to people for cheating when they didn't actually cheat go “ohhh no its okay dream we still love you” uggghhhhhhh and he knew his fans wouldn't turn on him, they are so blindly loyal to him it's honestly scary. But then the fans (and maybe even him) blame it on his adhd and while I don't doubt that it had some part in it he is ultimately responsible for his own actions. Like I get it it sucks, I have adhd too and yet I don’t act like that. He knew he was cheating for months, maybe from the very beginning and yet lied about it and hired an astrophysicist to help him lie about it, like dude wtf. That is not a case of rsd that is a case of him being a whiny sore loser.

Of course there is the case of his past actions and I don’t even want to get into that but what I do want to mention is how he says he is changing and how the fans constantly bring that up whenever people have any criticisms of him “that was in the past he’s changing now” okay then why is he still doing dumb shit? “Progress isn't linear” What progress? He has done the bare minimum and hasn't gone past that

And speaking of the bare minimum, he does barely anything to stop his fans from behaving the way that they do. He doesn't need to “rule with an iron fist” (stfu dude) he needs to do more than occasionally throwing out “hey :) don’t send hate :)'' Tell people to remember that these are real people they are attacking, remind his fans that words can hurt, encourage them to be kind to one another, ya know the shit that all the CC I watch do. And you know how I know he doesn't do this? Because whenever one of my CC’s make comments like that people spread it around to remind people that hey, don’t be a dick this CC’s doesn’t like that. I never see that happen with dream and trust me I would see it and you know why it doesn't happen? Because he doesn't care. He knows what his fans are like and he encourages them without actually telling them to do that shit and everyone on the outside can see how he is but they can’t

Anyway that was my rant about dream, I really don't have anyone to talk to about this shit cause all my friends like his stuff and I know they are not as infatuated with him as a lot of his other fans are so I don’t mind but I still can’t talk about this with them cause it will hurt them.

woah.

your effort really shows here, holy shit. this is extremely well written.

#dream neg #dream critical #Anonymous #ask box 360 #i don't have much else to add man #this is perfect #i'm both stunned and amazed #very good job

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elliium · 3 years ago

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Dude it was Sapnap who asked to be teamed with Scott!!! Scott asked if he thought it would be a good idea considering Sapnap’s fans hate him and Sapnap said doesn’t care what people think and he just wanted to team with Scott!!

wait omg . kinda wish sapnap said hey this was my idea on twitter so that people would stfu with the qrts LMAO but :) either way it makes me happy to hear that it was sapnaps idea :D i really enjoyed their team last time i hope this times as good

#ask ^-^#that mf hates his audience #LOL #i understand why tbf

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sneezy-cheeseloaf · 3 years ago

Text

recounting the entire avengers: endgame movie, which i only saw once when it came out, from memory

because i just took the SAT and i want to do anything except think about that so get ready for a fun ride full of holes and my reenactments of scenes and quotes that i remember from however many years it’s been now since endgame came out. buckle the fuckle up

movie opens, clint’s whole ass family fucking dies. cue killing spree fueled by grief and anger. HashTag Relatable

tony is floating through space with nebula and teaching her how to play paper football

holy shit is this how tony dies

“pep” ouc h

oh hey he’s home, dope

The Gang (tm) learns where thanos’s farm is somehow i can’t really remember

“perhaps i judged you too harshly”

“???? thor????” “what? i went for the head”

“five” five what?? days?? weeks??? months???? oh boy i can’t wait to find ou- “years later” HUH???????

steve looks the exact same, so i guess he kept up that workout schedule even through the snap. i mean good for him honestly

and is also running a talk therapy group like sam did

a single smidgen of gay representation but it’s a good start ig

i don’t really remember what everyone else was doing, i just know that tony and pep have morgan now but idk if that gets revealed now or later

the only reason we had a movie is because of a rat. everyone say thank you to Rat for releasing scott lang, please. round of applause

scott’s daughter is all grown up and catch me sobbing over the fact that he wasn’t there to see it

somewhere in here nat is crying and eating a sandwich and honestly girl same

“hey!!! it’s me!!!! scott lang!!! ant man???? also what the hell happened???? lemme IN”

cue scott lang having a single brain cell and bringing up time travel. i think it was him that proposed the idea. maybe not. but imma give him credit

oh yeah bruce and hulk are besties now and bruce is just permanently Like That

and cue everyone being shook at the idea of time travel

time to go see Science Man at his house on the lake

“i wish you had come for anything else.” ouch

gang leaves dejectedly

peter. that’s it. and suddenly tony is all hands on deck

cue science mumbo jumbo in the middle of the night while he eats something out of a bag that i can’t remember

“shit!!” “sHiT!!!” “NO”

“i love you 3000″

Science Man reveals that he has, indeed cracked the code to literal time travel

cue nat, the only person with an umbrella, going to find clint who is busy with murder, as he does

“don’t do that. don’t give me home” stfu budapest man and get in the car.

thor has. enlargened. and is now playing fortnight with korg as a means to cope with what happened plus losing loki, as i think we all would

The Gang is back together and working (surprisingly) coordinately and throwing ideas around and it’s actually very cute. and it makes my heart very happy. and i want to cry every time i think about it because we all know what comes next

scott’s taco gets blown away. bruce gives him another. all is well in the world

and in this exhibit we see the only brain cell in the whole group, which is being used by rhodey at all times

“why don’t we just,,,, (choking motion)” “to a BABY???”

during the time tests someone gets reverted to a baby but i don’t remember who and it’s highkey disturbing

“i consider this an absolute win!!”

cue slo mo walk with the cool white time suits that everyone looks so good in

“see you in a minute” that smile. she looks so happy. sobbing

i think it’s in here that all the color go through steve’s eyes, so let’s just take a minute to acknowledge how pretty he is

“just for the record, that suit did nothing for your ass.” “i don’t remember asking you to look”

“that’s america’s ass.” yes it is scott you’re absolutely right

“i cOuLd dO tHiS aLL dAy” “yeah i knoOoOW”

time for tony to give tony a heart attack and then just stare in what i can only assume is amusement. i’m pretty sure that comes after america’s ass but maybe not

somewhere in here steve is just staring at peggy through blinds and it’s sad when you see it but when you think about it afterwards, it’s so funny for no reason

time to get whacked by a very angry hulk who was not allowed to use the elevator

“NO STAIRS”

tony goes flying. so does the tesseract. loki, in handcuffs, is like “oh bet this is mine now” and. Leaves.

i’m pretty sure it’s bruce who goes and gets schooled by The Ancient One on the multiverse, and i say it’s bruce because i think he’s the only one out of The Gang who could ever actually wrap his head around it

i don’t remember exactly how they get the tesseract but they do

thor and rocket are in asgard and thor has a panic attack, as I think we all would if we had to talk to our dead mother and pretend like we don't know what's going to happen

and remember kids, slapping someone is not the way to handle a panic attack. anyways

a mother always knows

"i'm still worthy!!!!" you always were, thor. you never stopped being worthy

and we have our hammer back

cue sobbing on vormir

“clint. it’s ok. it’s ok.” that smile.

nat’s fucking dead and i’m fucking dead inside let’s keep this party goin

other stones are recovered and i don’t really remember how but hey we got all six

“where’s nat?” cue more sobbing from me and from clint as you can see each and every team member’s heart drop to the fucking floor. especially steve

yeah maybe we’re doing this for half the universe and all the people we lost, but mostly for nat now

tony’s makeshift infinity gauntlet has entered the chat

Green Man is the only one who can physically take the power of the stones, so the fate of literally everything they have ever done up to this point is on him

snap rest in peace bruce’s arm

cue every single person in the theater holding their breath

“guys. it worked.”

cue explosion as their facility gets bombed and i am terrified that it has killed the entire gang

but it obviously has not and i am once again a Class A Idiot

i can't remember if it’s steve or tony who wakes up first but one shakes the other awake and is like “get the fuck up bitch idk what just happened but we got a problem”

everyone is mostly fine. but they’re all alive and that’s what matters

and now we have the setting for the entire rest of the movie basically

oh hey thanos. that’s uh. that’s a big army you got there

i don’t really remember everything that happened with The Past thanos, gamora, and nebula but i remember that gamora once again sees what a twat her adoptive father is and is like “oh hell na”

cue the gang fighting for their lives against Past thanos. literally

oh shit thor’s about to be killed????

OH MY GOD HE HAS THE HAMMER

cue the theater screaming as they should

hell yeah. bonk that giant space grape with the god of thunder’s hammer. you go steve. and look like a badass doing it as you should

shit’s still fucked and they eventually get their asses handed to them one by one

somewhere in here the shield breaks just like we saw in age of ultron. and like damn bro i liked that thing

steve stands up by himself because bitch. you cant kill him unless he says so. he dies on his own terms. he didn’t live for over a fucking century to die like this

our mans is standing up against a whole ass army knowing full well that he can’t win but damn if he aint ready to try

“ok listen strange. you have to open the portal to his left. his LEFT. you hear me???”

“steve. STEVE. on your left.”

cue the most goosebump-inducing scene that i have ever seen and probably will ever see. i would do anything to see that scene for the first time again. that feeling was like nothing i’ve ever experienced

the amazing symphonics are NOT helping my already-about-to-explode-from-excitement heart

now the gang’s ALL here. and we all cry because all of our peeps are back from the dead and we all missed them and highkey grieved for them after infinity war

i can’t remember if steve actually sees bucky yet but i think he does and i wanted to cry on the spot because not only did i miss bucky but man did i just want them to see each other again

cue sick pan of the whole ass marvel roster like smash ultimate, including howard duck somewhere in there

PETER OUR BOY SWINGIN ON IN

“AVENGERS. assemble.” “AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA”

but we all know damn well that not a single person could hear him whisper that shit. like steve bro speak up a little

and the battle for the ages commences

we get to see all our favorite boys are girls fuck shit up and it’s absolutely incredible. wow it really feels like someone’s missing who could that be.

this is now a very elaborate game of keepaway

“catch” “Catch” “CATCH “CATCH”

“hey queens” he remembered. catch me cryin

“hey peter. got somethin for me?” god i love her. flew through a whole ass spaceship. no stoppin her

t'challa remembers clint's name. he did care

oh yeah scott is fucking humongous again, but third time’s the charm ig. maybe he won't pass the fuck out this time

somewhere in here, strange starts holding like. an entire ocean back and i dont really remember where it came from

we get a whole segment of marvel women kicking ass and taking names and i think i just need to take a minute. WE collectively need to take a minute

carol flies straight through a spaceship and everyone is like ???? hello????? where have you been?????????

carol gets literally headbutted by thanos and doesnt move a fucking inch. and that look of murder in her eyes. she could tell me to walk into a pit of lava and i would not question it. the power

“launch the missiles!!!” “but sir, our army-” “DO IT”

damn thanos our expectations for you were low but holy fuck

somewhere in here i think petter quill sees Past gamora and is like gamora???? and she like kicks him in the balls or somethin and is like “this is the ones i picked?????”

the fight continues and honestly a lot of it’s a blur but damn was it not the coolest thing i’ve ever seen.

cue strange knowing exactly how this was gonna go down, and holding up a single finger

i dont think ive ever seen that look on tony's face before

oh shit thanos has the gauntlet and all the stones. fuck.

wait holdup that gauntlet looks a little funky

WAIT HOLDUP

“i am inevitable”

“and i. am iron man.”

the theater, once again holds its breath

all is lowkey calm and everyone is shook

thanos’s entire army slowly fades away. including one of those big worm things that almost eats (i think it was) rocket but like. dusts right as it hits the ground and is a really cool shot

and thanos sits down on a rock. and finally is gone. and it's so cathartic

oh joyous day!! they’ve won!! they’ve done it!!! wait holdup where’s tony. i remember what happened to bruce where the fuck is tony

wait

wait hold on

wait hold on a minute

“we did it. we won, mr stark. we won. please, mr stark”

“pep.”

“it’s ok. you can rest. you can rest.”

i have officially passed away and am a sobbing mess. you can’t do this to me. he’s gonna come back. there’s no way. tony stark doesn’t die. no.

this is a fucking funeral. i am going to combust into tears

“proof that tony stark has a heart”

i just wanted him to be able to see morgan grow up.

but him and nat are eating shawarma together in the sky now.

“i’m recording this in case something goes wrong, which it won’t.”

“i love you 3000.”

oh we’re still rolling. oh we don’t even get a minute to process

steve is leaving??? wait holdup we cant lose both. no

“are you sure about this?” “i have to”

“i’m with you til the end of the line” so that was a fucking lie

but steve deserves to do what makes him happy. so i can’t be too mad. actually, nah i aint even mad i’m just sad

bucky looks so dejected. so sad. someone please give him a hug. he desperately needs it

oh hey steve. but you’re old now. hey then, grandpa. how did you. get there

buck and sam go talk to him as they should

“you wanna talk about her?” “no, i don’t think i will”

“how does it feel?” “like it belongs to someone else”

sam has officially inhered the shield, and by extension, his very own bucky barnes. it’s a packaged deal

clint’s got his family back. and they can finally finish their picnic or whatever they were doing at the beginning of the movies

and steve finally got that dance. finally. and he looks so happy. so content.

and that’s about all i remember

i have not watched endgame since i saw it in theaters when it came out because i absolutely do not have the emotional stability to do it again. but damn the disney plus shows have been bangin

i hope you enjoyed the ride, thank you for joining me in my. whatever the fuck this is

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ichayalovesyou · 4 years ago

Text

The Undiscovered Country (Live Reaction)

CAPTAIN SULU OF THE EXCELSIOR CAPTAIN SULU OF THE EXCELSIOR CAPTAIN SULU OF THE EXCELSIOR EVERYONE STFU HE DESERVED HIS OWM GODDAMN SHOWWWWW!!!! “Should we report this?” “Are you kidding??” I love him so muchhh

Oh this one is gonna be about racism isn’t it? Yup. I know people judge Kirk for his prejudice against the Klingons in this movie, and I wanna clarify that it’s still not okay, but I just... look back on all of his experiences with Klingons, and he became less and less chill with them as they kept doing stuff to him and his crew, torturing Spock, Sherman’s planet, torturing Chekov, the ugly decisions in A Private Little War then on top of that they killed a son he never got the chance to connect with because his ex never allowed him custody. They almost cost him the chance to bring Spock back on top of that too. I’m not saying it’s not right, and whether it’s justified is subjective, but I also know he learns his lesson in this film. It makes me think of Katara’s arc in S3 of ATLA, how much she hated (understandably) Zuko and the Fire Nation, how she almost killed the man who killed her mother, but then didn’t. If we can love her still with that character growth, I see no reason to suddenly hate Jim.

“Logic is the beginning of wisdom Valeris” god I love Spock, he’s grown so much ☺️ also maaaaan everyone is old now lol, wait?! Where’s Bones?! Oh there he is! Oh wow I can smell the traitor on Valeris she is acting extremely shady! Oh hey it’s General Chang!! I’ve heard of this guy!! Apoliticality hall of fame up in here huh ST? Damn. Klingons love them some Shakespeare lol. Nice Scotty! Ohhhh Chang that was a loaded question, oof thanks for saving your grumpy husband. Ooooh man I love dinner scenes like these, the tension, the delicate conversation, the unspoken words ugh hell yeah. Oof!

Chancellor made a DAMN good point there! Calling Kirk out on his shit before they left! Yessssssss!! Lol everyone is hung FUCK WHAT JUST HAPPENED??? OH FUCK OH FUCK OH FUCK!!! That Zero G effect is cool as fuck! Oh no oh no oh no oh no the war is being staged oh god oh no oh shit oh shit ohhhhhh no!! Ohhhhhhhhhh shittttt this is B A D. Ok so Klingon blood is pink? Huh.

Even with Jim’s prejudice he still values this peace than he does his feelings and that is a Captain Kirk ass thing to do. Bones being fucking AWESOME! Ohhhh nooooo, I liked Gorkon 😔 “Don’t let it end this way Captain.” Wowwww that was cool ass last words. “I sympathize Mr. Scott” growth 🌿 oh hey Sarek is back! Federation has an alien president now? Neat! Also I freaking LOVE Gorkon’s daughter, I am also growing progressively more confused by their kinda over exaggerated behavior in future TV shows? (I imagine they probably had a fanatical ideological takeover, kinda like the Vulcans and Surak but... violent.)

The defense attorney sounds like Michael Dorn??? I know it’s not him but still? OH MY GOD IT IS???? Cool! His name is also Worf? Weird. Awww Bones he’s GOTTA stop making me cry like this I can’t even do this oh man he’s breaking my hearrrrrt. Oh wow they really just listing everything “bad” Jim has ever done huh? Damn. CAPTAIN SULU IS BACK oh and he’s gone again damn. Ooooof penal colony punishment yiiiiikes, seems the Klingons have as outdated a prison system as we do now 😬 oh so Spock is distantly related to Sir Arthur Conan Doyle? Neat. Oh Spock don’t trust Valeris, I know you don’t know better yet but still 😬😬😬

Ooof this whole person thing is super interesting?? Who is this WOMAN whose informing them McCoy & Jim, I love her! I love this political intrigue murder mystery stuff!! Those Wargs look AMAZING wow, loving seeing TOS crew with a budget love it! “Not everyone keeps their genitals in the same place Captain.” OH MY GOD 😂😂😂 oh it’s McKirk hours boys, and awww even in a Klingon prison Jim’s prejudice is decaying. McCoy is DUDE WHAT IS WITH YOU?? And I agree, even as an old man Jim is a lil’ bit it a slut. WAIT CHRISTIAN SLATER???? That was a weird cameo. Even after he made out with that lady he was like “damn, what is wrong with me??” Lol

WAIT IS MATIRA A CHANGELING?? That transformation was VERY gooey?? I mean I know there are a bunch of shapeshifter races but still???? Hey watch McCoy is gonna give out from the cold first cuz he’s a southern damsel just you wait. Aaaaaand it took 5 minutes! 😂 he’s immune to dinosaurs but vulnerable to cold. Bullshit Uhura doesn’t know Klingon??? What was that?!?! Oh she’s not a Changeling. TWO KIRKS AGAIN???? How many times is this now, four? 😂😂

Now they’re close enough to kiss lmfao KISS DAMNIT! Aw. Uh oh. I have never, NEVER seen Spock this posed off ohhhh my god. OH MY GOD HE JUST SMACKED THAT SHIT OUT OF HER HAND. Ooof I need to sit down (I say sitting down) way to frickin kick Jim right in his soul with his own words damn Valeris... wow this is so GOOD, fuck. Oh man, the amount of personal strength, feelings of hatred and betrayal, and circumstance it takes for Spock to FORCIBLY meld with someone when we all know how he feels about consent 😨 this is like, the only ONLY situation I can imagine him, in character, EVER doing this to anyone. Wow... wow. Oh my god. OH MY GOD. Ohhhhhh wow, that’s gonna haunt Spock for the rest of his life... fuck.

SULU IS HERE TO SAVE THE DAYYYYYYY WE LOVE HIM!!! Awwww look at these too poor idiots regretting their moral transgressions :( they’re so married. Over here examining prejudices and stuff, I need to study this screenplay oh my goddddd. This is so GOOD oh my god. Kittomer Accord hours!! Here we go! Oh MAN Chang is a cool ass villain!! Here we gooooooooo!!! EXCELSIOR IS HERE TO HELP!! Aw Spones out here flirting before they go save peace in their time, love that! This battle tastes like a beautiful marriage between Balance of Terror and Conscience of A King 😍 YEAH SCOTTY!!! And thus, Kirk completes his character growth. Lol and then everyone claaaaaaped.

Man, Sulu and the Excelsior really deserved their own his Star Trek show, something I hope they will someday remedy! Awwww that little love letter to TNG and all future Treks at the end heck yeh ☺️

#star trek #star trek vi: the undiscovered country #the undiscovered country #Star Trek tos #star trek tos movies #tos liveblog #liveblogging

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chopper-witch · 6 years ago

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SPOILER REVIEW, ALL SPOILERS UNDER THE CUT

Okay spoiler review:

I. Fucking. Loved. It.

I will address the complaints of certain things as they come up.

Things I think could have been improved:

Including the scene that was the mid-credits of CM. A lot of people didn’t go to see it so their context was off when she saved Tony and Nebula.

Almost no one knew who Harley was, now that he was all grown up, during Tony’s funeral. Most people just said “who the hell is that?”. Give him a crushed Dora watch that he is holding/looking at and everyone will know.

The gay character was Joe Russo sitting in Steve’s support group. STFU that isn’t even a side character.

I wish one more OG6 Avenger had died. I figured one of each pair would (and I was right for 2) but I didn’t think four would survive. Idk if I’d choose Thor or Professor Hulk but one of them.

That’s it.

Okay, now to things I fucking loved:

That cold opening. Clint having a good time and then his whole family just…. goes. Then when they reverse the snap his phone ringing and it being his wife was an amazing way to finish the arc. My lord.

Karen Gillan deserves an Oscar for her acting. Holy shit. Confused killer robot playing games with Tony and then making sure he is okay and then also having to re-play evil Nebula from before. God, amazing.

The Nebula plot was one of the best parts of the movie. It shows how even if you make time travel easy and clean there is also a possibility of something going wrong. The fact that her past consciousness blended with her current when she went back in time was an amazing detail/idea that could only work with her. It was just so fucking fabulous.

Them going and killing Thanos literally 10 minutes in.

Natasha running point on all the Avengers stuff - keeping tabs on Rocket, Rhodey, Carol and others as they try to at least help based on what’s going on.

Oh my god, Tony losing it at all the Avengers. Amazing 10/10. “You promised!” “Liar!”. Ripping our the arc reactor and just shoving it into Steve’s hands. Fantastic. Tony deserved that moment.

The rat, the true hero

Scott/Cassie reunion after Scott finding his own name on the list of the Vanished. He was so relieved, his daughter was so relieved. Movie deities have blessed us.

Scott (while distracted by a sandwich), explaining time travel was hilarious and fantastic. He admits he doesn’t know enough.

I liked what they did with Thor. He lost absolutely everything… his entire family, all of his friends, at least 3/4 of his people. To have be a drunk who gave up and is now fat was fantastic. If anyone felt like they failed, it truly was him. He spent two years just looking for stones while the rest fought in a parking lot.

Morgan Stark!!! I better see more of her in future movies, oh my god. Adorable. Smart. Sassy. I love you 3000.

When Tony looked at that photo of Peter, I knew that was what changed his mind. Cause he knows he needs to try.

When Tony nearly falls backwards in shock at the time travel simulation working I nearly shrieked. And then of course Morgan was there. “Shit!” “No, no. (something I forget) shit.” “Shit.” “No, that’s (Pepper’s?) word.”

Pepper letting him know that its alright if he goes and tries to help. That she understands that he won’t rest if he doesn’t.

I really liked how they did the time travel stuff. It was careful and still a mess. (I’ll get to the Loki part last)

Cap V Cap, hilarious and AMAZING

Rocket and Thor sneaking past Loki while he sits in his cell. Genius. Thor knows that if Loki finds out future Thor is there, Loki is going to gladly time travel whether they like it or not.

Thor being unable to do the mission correctly because he sees his mother. That conversation with his mother where she knew it was future him. “I was raised by witches” (this will tie in to my Loki thing later)

Peter Quill getting knocked out.

Clint and Natasha. We all knew only one of them was getting out of there. Them actually fighting over who should go was amazing. I know there are complaints about how Natasha deserved better and hm, they killed the only OG female avenger. No, it was amazing. Natasha, for the first time her life, truly knew what she wanted. She was grateful for Clint til the very end. (This also ties to her dream, but I’ll explain all the AOU dreams at the end)

Loki just yeeting himself the fuck out of there when Ant-Man gave past stark a heart attack was hilarious, in-character for 2012 Loki, and VERY IMPORTANT.

Going back in time even further and Tony talking to his father, Steve seeing Peggy. It was a great section. I loved it. Tony getting closure, Steve realizing what he wants when all of this is over.

All of them losing their collective shit in different ways over Natasha death; Clint telling Thor off about how it can’t be undone, so stop being an asshole. Amazing.

Arguing over the gauntlet. Drunk Thor trying to say he can use it. Hulk using it. Thor yelling to take it off, Steve asking if Hulk is okay (this is very similar to the CA:TFA moment where Steve is getting beefed up). Amazing.

From here on, everything was fantastic, every bit. The compound being destroyed, the heroes trying to stop Thanos and all that; Steve using Thor’s hammer after his shield is half broken (and he saves Thor by using the hammer);

“Hey cap, can you hear me?” While Cap is staring down Thanos. “Uh…” “Cap, it’s me Sam. On your left” AND THEN THE PORTALS OPEN AND HOLY FUCKING SHIT. FIRST THREE ARE OKOYE, SHURI AND T’CHALLA. People were screeching in my theater, shouting “Wakanda forever”.

All those portals opening up was so hot. And then when Dr Strange opened one up and the Guardians came out that was cool and all, but Spiderman made everyone yell and holler and hoot.

VALKYRIE ON A PEGASUS HOT DAMN

Hot gauntlet instead of hot potato.

RESCUE!!! Pepper in armor, lord almighty. Amazing.

Danvers destroying all of his ships. 10/10. Like she didn’t show up and save the day, she came to help. Cap - “Danvers, we need an assist down here” once she finishes destroying the ships.

Peter getting hella beat up was reasonable. CM coming over him and he says “Oh, Im Peter Parker” “Hi, Peter Parker, you got something for me?” He hands her the gauntlet. And then asks how she is going to get through all of that. “She has help” - Okoye. All the female Avengers surround him to protect my smol child and then charge at Thanos’ army. Please love oh love, that was fantastic.

“I don’t even know you” “You will”. I swooned. Amazing, amazing, amazing. Go Scarlet Witch

When they are going at Thanos and trying to get the gauntlet off, wow. That scene was crazy good. The main 3 trying, Carol trying (and then again and when Thanos headbutts her she doesn’t move, amazing).

Tony switching the stones without Thanos noticing.

“I am inevitable” says Thanos. He snaps. It fails; he can’t create a new universe where no one remembers what they lost, only what they gained.

Tony, holds up his version of the gauntlet, “And I… am…. Iron Man.” Snap. Whole theater erupted.

All Thanos’ stuff is gone, as is he. I would have preferred Nebula to cut his head off during one of her two opportunities, but I was satisfied with this.

Rhodey finding Tony and just smiling at him. People complained that Rhodey should of said something, but Rhodey is his best friend, the person who is still alive he’s known the longest. Rhodey understands. Rhodey knows he is dying and knows no words are going to help it or stop it. He’s an Air Force colonel for crying out loud, he gets death. So he just stays there for him.

Peter begging Tony to get up and telling him “We won, we won Mr. Stark” was so heartbreaking. I loved it, but it hurt.

Pepper telling him “It’s alright, you can rest now”. That shit HURTED. Great completion of the “but will you be able to rest?”

Tony’s funeral was possibly the best scene to show just how much he meant to everyone. “Proof that Tony Stark has a heart” laying on a bed of flowers, floating in the lake in the backyard of where he and Pepper and Morgan have been living.

Wanda and Clint moment - “I just wish there was a way I could tell her we won.” “She knows, they both do” I loved it so so much.

Morgan asking for a cheeseburger and Happy getting all teary eyed about how her father loved cheeseburgers “I’m going to buy you all the cheeseburgers you want”, bruh, I was in tears.

Tony Stark’s voice over while everything else is happening - people going back to their lives: T’Challa, Shuri and Ramonda looking over Wakanda; Cassie cuddling Scott while Hope is there too; Peter and Ned seeing each other at school; Clint going home; all these different little moments while he talks, only for it to end as a video recording he made before he left to fix everything. “I love you 3000” is what he ends it with.

Thor handing over Asgard to Valkyrie while he goes with the Guardians. I loved it. He acknowledge he wasn’t fit to be king but could still do good.

Steve returning all the stones. When he and Bucky said goodbye (“It’s only five seconds”) they both knew what he was about to do. “Don’t do anything stupid til I get back.” Bucky smiles, “How can I? You’re taking all the stupid with you.”

Sam and Professor Hulk freaking out that he isn’t back, only for Bucky to point out Steve sitting on a bench near where they are. He’s old now. He hands the shield off to Sam. I loved it. There is no way Bucky and Steve didn’t have a conversation about Steve staying in the past and who he would pass the mantel on to. (this also means Bucky probably told Steve’s ass that trying to save him/prevent HYDRA would have created a disastrous effect. “I’ll be alright, punk” or something like that).

Seeing Steve with Peggy made me really, really happy. I understand the complaints but it was a beautiful moment and such an amazing way to end the movie. If you watched Agent Carter you know she struggled getting over Steve. While she did eventually, she never stopped thinking about him. I mean, in the 70s, his photo was still on her desk!

Things I forgot to add originally:

“So you can get another haircut?” (or something like that); AKA Rocket making fun of Carol’s lesbian cut.

Professor Hulk. Hilarious, amazing, and a great idea.

“That’s America’s Ass” oh my god, Tony Steve and Scott. Best comedy trio.

Extended NY 2012 scenes... including Loki pretending to be Steve, amazing

the Budapest reference while Nat and Clint were flying off to Vormir. I loved it.

Thor suddenly in his old costume with braids in his beard and hair when they go to beat up Thanos when he attacks the compound. Crowd went crazy.

EVEN MORE I forgot:

The OG shot from the OG Avengers in NY. Hot hot hot. The crowd was losing it. I was losing it.

“Hail Hydra” cap you sneaky bastard.

Scott’s storage unit is labeled 616. MCU really loves hiding 616 in plain sight.

—

Okay, now for the AoU dreams.

They all came true.

Thor: “See where your power leads us Odinson” and Heimdall talks about how they are going to be lead to Hel. More than half of Asgard was destroyed by Hela.

Steve: The movie ends with him dancing with Peggy.

Natasha: hers was more of a flashback, but still came true. “I have no place in this world”. Her dream sequence showed the horrors she endured and how she tried to seem weak so she wouldn’t have to do certain things. It shows how she has always felt like she has no home, it showed faceless children with no identity. Her dying was her finding her place in the world.

Tony: Everyone is dead except him. “And the worst part is you weren’t”. He reversed his dream. It came true (it wasn’t the OG6 who died) but then he spun it around.

—

other time travel stuff:

At one point there are two Steve’s since he decided to go back. At first I was like, thats gonna create some problems but the more I think the more I realize it doesn’t. Peggy is smart, genius and an amazing agent and could have easily found a way to ‘hide’ Captain America.

Also, most things stopped functioning after the decimation. A lot of schools were shut down most likely. So Ned and Peter to see each other again at school was reasonable.

Loki:

I LOVE WHAT THEY DID WITH LOKI. In the movie it shows at least two iterations of him alive: 2012 Loki who gets the fuck out of there; 2013 Loki stuck in prison. Both are alive by the end of the movie (2013 didn’t disappear even though 2012 noped out of there). Even though Steve put the stones back to make the timelines clean again, they show that even though one version of Loki left New York, he still ended up in Asgard’s prison. So one is out there with the Space Stone, and one is posing as Odin. Then, when time catches up, it’s unlikely Ragnarok Loki will just die spontaneously. Regardless, there are at least two Lokis still existing within the current timeline. He’s smarter than letting himself get stuck once he escapes, but he still gets locked up.

If there are two versions of Steve living for a time, why not two or more Lokis?

This brings me back to Frigga. She knew it was definitely Thor from the future almost immediately. Loki is much like his mother and knows that time travel is possible and that people have crossed timelines. There is no reason for him to not be out there in the universe, several different versions of him working at once. And there is no reason for him to not know that.

“The sun will shine on us again”, something tells me Loki knew some version of himself would survive. Whether it be 2012, 2013, or even now 2018, he knew he was going to make it… or he already knew he had.

I don’t know what is going to happen. I’m sure the Russos wrote the Loki getting out of there thing as a joke/plot inconvenience but Feige is smarter than that. He knows what that opened up, and honestly, that might be why the Loki show isn’t going to come out for a while. Imagine having a great idea only for the most recent movie to come along and have multiple Loki’s still alive.

Even better, I hope he has a small scene in the next Guardians movie. Thor could try to sway them towards looking for his brother and maybe they do - but it’s NY Loki.

#liz spoils endgame #liz talks endgame #endgame spoilers #eg spoilers #avengers endgame #avengers endgame spoilers #endgame #avengers

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starlight-parkers · 7 years ago

Text

The Report Card (Avengers x Reader) {Chatroom}

Author’s Note(s): I wrote this back in october and forgot about in entirely. I hope you enjoy x

Warning(s): just swearing tbh

Summary: Dogs are great but your dads Steve and Tony don’t agree.

you have created a chatroom

you have named the chat “dear fathers whom I love so very much :)”

you have added Tony

You: hello father who raised me from a yOung one whom to which I love very much :)

Tony: no

You: no???

You: I didn’t say anything ???

Tony: it’s paternal instinct

You: at least hear me out

Tony: nO

You: daAAaaAAD

Tony: (Y/nNnnnNn)

You: I’m gonna tell you anyways

Tony: I had a feeling you would

You: so I got my report card back

Tony: I can already see where this is going

You: and I got all As…

Tony: I was not prepared for this part of parenthood

You: so I was wondering…

Tony: gEt To iT CHILD

You: if I could get a puppy?

Tony: lmao NO

You: fudGe yOU

You: you’re the worst dad ever

Tony: I’m going to pretend that my pride isn’t wounded and say I love you too kiddo :,)

You: I bet Steve would get me a dog.

Steve has joined the chat

Steve: no he wouldn’t

You: pleaSe dad?

Steve: nope

You: how can anyone call you the man of dreams? Freedom? Liberation?

You: you’re both the worst

Steve: correction…Tony is the worst. Who makes you cap’s shield shaped sandwiches everyday?

You: you do…

Steve: damn right I do

Tony: hey I mean I totally don’t pay your phone bill… not at all… please do continue to insult me as if I’m not here.

You: you know what fudge you both, I’m asking peter.

Tony: oh god no not the kid

Tony: you know I can’t say no to him

You: exactly ;)

You have added Peter

Peter: Hey everyone!

You: hi Petey <3

Tony: hey underoos

Steve: hello

Peter: what can I do for you?

You: oh y'know

You: we just need you to settle a family disagreement

Peter: oh… okay, what seems to be the problem?

Steve: (Y/N) got all As in her report card

Peter: Aw well done baby! :)

Tony: I am resisting the urge to throw up (:

You: and I want a puppy as a reward but AnthonY and SteVeN wont let me get one.

Peter: well that’s a shame

Steve: it sure is…

You: shuT UP Steve

Steve: thE DISrESPECT

Tony: asjajaja

You: anyways I need you to convince them that I should get a puppy

Peter: uHhhh

Steve: I’d chose my words wisely kid.

Tony: or don’t say anything at all, y'know.

Peter: umm

You: if you don’t help me convince them I won’t let you do my homework for a month

Peter: I…shouldn’t…be doing… your homework… anyway?

You: shut up you know you enjoy it

Peter: I do :(

Tony: what…just…happened?

Steve: I don’t know but is this how dating works nowadays?

Clint has joined the chat

Tony: oh no

Clint has added Natasha, Bruce, Thor, T'challa, Bucky, Sam, Wanda, Scott and Vision.

Clint: we heard talk of a dog

Steve: well you heard wrong

Sam: how can anyone call you the man of dreams? Freedom? Liberation?

You: I SAID THAT

Thor: I FOR ONE AM IN FAVOUR OF SMALL AND FEROCIOUS BEAST RUNNING AROUND THE TOWER!! IT SHALL BE MOST ENJOYABLE :) :) :)

Natasha: Thor, caps lock sweetie.

Thor: *whispers* oh yes, I apologise widow of black :) :) :)

Peter: is bad that I actually heard him yelling from the other side of the tower or?

Peter: and are we just going to ignore the fact that he added in *whispers* ?

Clint: LeT hIm LiVe pETer

Bucky: yeah! Sit down you little asshole

Peter: I… am…confused.

Sam: oh somebody get him a juice box, little Peter is confused.

Peter: w h y a re y o u a t t a c k i n g m e ?

Sam: oh shit someone’s having a tantrum.

Natasha: go sit in a corner sam, you’re being uneccesary.

Sam: stfu woman come back when you can spell unnecessary.

Bucky: #ROASTED

You: WE ARE GETTING OFF TOPIC

Wanda: what were we talking about again?

Tony has cleared the chat

Tony: I think were talking about getting pancakes for breakfast today

Steve: oh yes, Tony’s treat :)

Tony: of course it’s my treat I’m the only one with money.

Scott: I’m down for pancakes

Bucky: yeah I could go for some too

T'challa: if Tony’s paying

Thor: I TOO WOULD ENJOY THE CAKE OF THE PAN.

Natasha: as mentioned before, only if Tony’s paying.

Wanda: same

Steve: then its settled, pancakes at 10

Clint: WHAT ARE YOU TAPKING ABOUT

Clint: WE WERE TALKING ABOUT GETTING A DOG YOU FOOLS

You: T H A N K Y O U

Tony: fuck yOu clint

Steve: LANGUAGE TONY

Steve: there are children present

You: all in favour of getting a dog say aye

Scott: aye

Wanda: aye

Bucky: aye

Sam: aye

Peter: aye

Clint: AYE FUCKING AYE CAPTAIN

Bucky: too much Clint too much

Clint: sorry

Peter: well it’s decided, I guess we’re getting a dog

Tony: Vision, T'Challa, Bruce and Natasha haven’t voted yet.

Steve: not to mention Pietro

Pietro has joined the chat

Pietro: I vote for the dog, they’re better than people and I hate everyone.

Pietro has left the chat

Wanda: sorry about that, he’s still salty because we invited Scott to the Civil War and not him.

Scott: how were we supposed to know? he’s meant to be dead

Clint: RIP that speedy guy 2k15, you shall not be missed

You: I am physically sobBiNg

Bucky: she’s not kidding, I am three floors down and I can still hear her.

Scott : it sounds like she’s dying

Peter: then it’s nothing new.

Bruce: ARE WE NOT GOING TO TALK ABOUT THE FACT THAT YOU HAD A CIVIL WAR?

Bruce: I THOUGHT WE WENT THROUGH THIS

Tony: no brucie, we’re talking about the possibility of (Y/N) having a demon spawn to call their own

Bruce: I hate all of you

T'Challa: I agree, you are all beneath me

Sam: sit yo ass down and drink some milk, cat man

Bucky: #LIGHTLYBURNT

Wanda: IM WHEEZING

Scott: you guys gotta stop roasting each other, (Y/N) is going to D I E of laughter.

Peter: let her

Tony: what

Peter: f r e e m e

Steve: moving on…

Thor: yes…please proceed.

Steve: Bruce? Natasha? Thoughts on the dog.

Natasha: I’m against it

You: WHY?? YOURE SUPPOSED TO BE THE AWESOME AUNT NOT THE ASSHOLE AUNT

Natasha: cats are cooler

Clint: Natasha we can no longer be friends

Natasha: fine by me

Bucky: #CHARED

Tony: science bro?

Bruce: I’m also in favour of a cat, they’re more peaceful and less…like you guys.

T'Challa: I agree

Bucky: leave cat man

T'Challa: call me that again and pietro won’t be the only avenger to have died

T'Challa has left the chat

You: well then…

Peter: I don’t know what to say

Thor: what about brother vision? He has yet to cast his vote.

Wanda: I’ll admit Vis has been very quiet.

Vision: I apologise profusely for my lack of presence.

You: HE JUST PHASED INTO THE COMMON ROOM AS HE TYPED THAT IM W H E E Z I N G

Tony: Steve is your child asthmatic

Steve: she’s not my child, she’s yours

You: wow what a loving family I have

Thor: indeed, much like my own, at least you are not a murderous pathetic excuse for a villain :)

Wanda: is it me or does the smiley face make it worse ?

Natasha: it’s the smiley face.

Tony: anywho vis, vision, partial creation of mine

Tony: what do you think about getting a dog?

Vision: by my calculations getting a dog would perhaps increase the physical activity of (Y/N) as we have come to realise, She only moves to retrieve a food source before returning to her room. Having a dog would lead to (Y/N) leaving the compound more, in order to walk the animal.

You: I’m sorry I didn’t know asking for a dog would include roasting me

Bucky: #BARBECUED

Peter: what’s with all these hashtags ?

Bucky: I’m running out of synonyms for roasted

Vision: Additionally, having a dog would decrease the stress levels of the team and perhaps everyone’s mutual hatred towards Mr Stark.

Tony: you all hate me?

Steve: its less of hatred and more like a preference for avoiding you :) nothing to worry about.

Tony: oh okay then :)

Clint: how did that go over his head?

Bruce: I have no idea

Vision: to conclude getting a puppy would be most beneficial.

You: YAYAYAYAYAYAYAY

You: HAHAHA SUCK IT STEVEN IM GETTING A DOG

Bruce: (Y/N) is definitely Stark’s child.

Thor: aye

Natasha: no doubt about it

Loki has joined the chat

Clint: ew who invited him

Wanda: why so salty Clint?

Clint: he tried to take over my mind with some voodoo shit

Sam: VOODOO SHIT IM SCREAMING

Peter: he actually is

Peter: it’s very loud

Loki: you foolish midguardians. I always said that you would be responsible for your own demise.

Scott: what are you on about reindeer games?

Loki: I’m sorry who are you?

Bucky: #OVERCOOKED

Bruce: these hashtags are getting out of hand.

Peter: remind me to teach him how to use them properly.

Thor: brother! :D

Loki: NOT NOW YOU BLONDE HEADED FOOL

Thor: D:

Wanda: yikes

Loki: I HAVE COME TO WARN YOU.

You: warn us of your presence? Because none of us actually like you.

Thor: I do

Thor: just a bit

Loki: purchasing the vile beast known as man’s best friend will only result in the destruction of the Avengers. We all know (Y/N) would betray us. She would raise this animal, to become a beast. Multiply it and use it to destroy us from the inside.

Steve: is Loki… afraid…of dogs

You: oh my god

Loki: NO YOU IMBECILE I AM HERE TO SAVE YOU

Natasha: Loki? Saving us ?

Vision: in all my years on earth I have never heard such an entertaining tale

Peter: sit the fuck down bish you’re like 2 years old

Bruce: peter omg

Sam: THERE ARE T E A R S FLOWING FROM MY EYES

Thor: please send help it sounds like he’s choking

Bucky: l e t h i m

Steve: what is it with everyone and wanting to kill each other?

You: don’t act like you haven’t wanted to kill any of us, you golden child

Steve: …

Steve: proceed.

Bucky: #

Scott: don’t even start I beg

Bucky: D:

Loki: you mortals will all perish

Tony: so I think we’ve established that Loki is afraid of dogs, and since none of us like him I propose we get one.

Steve: agreed

Loki: NO YOU DENSE HEADED INFERIORS

Tony: all in favour of a dog say aye

Steve: aye

You: aye

Thor: aye

Peter: aye

Scott: aye

Wanda: aye

Vision: aye

Natasha: aye

Bucky: aye

Bruce: aye

Sam: aye

Clint: AYE MOTHER FUCKING AYE BITCHES

Bucky: Clint pls

Natasha: you are an embarrassment to this team, no wonder pietro is always running away from you.

Natasha has left the chat

Clint: damn

Bucky: #SCORCHED

Peter: well now that this has come to end, Let’s go Bucky, I gotta teach you the ways of the hashtag

Sam: oh I have got to see this

Scott: I’m definitely filming this

Bucky has left the chat

Peter has left the chat

Sam has left the chat

Scott has left the chat

Loki: you will all die

Loki has left the chat

Thor: it appears that Loki is having a tantrum

Thor: I must tend to my brother, his feelings have been hurt.

Tony: lolol I don’t care

Steve: same tbh

You: SE E YOU ARE NOT SUCH A PURE GOOD WILLING PERSON AFTER ALL

You: SUCK IT STEVEN

Tony: why do you have such a disrespectful child Steve?

Steve: biologically she’s your creation, you do the math

Clint: LMAOOO

Bruce: brb I’m totally not sobbing with laughter

Thor: I must depart from you friends (: goodbye

You: bye (:

Thor: (:

You: (:

Thor: (:

You: (:

Thor: (:

You: (:

Thor: (:

Clint: ISTG JUST LEAVE

Thor: be careful who you yell at brother Clinton. I am always watching.

Thor has left the chat

Bruce: well then

Tony: moving swiftly on

Clint: AHAHAA

You: im finally getting a dog WHOO

Clint: WHOOO

You: WHOOO

Steve: why are you both simultaneously yelling ‘whoo’ whilst typing it at the same time?

You: it’s for effect

Bruce: looool

Tony: anyways since you’re getting this dog, they least you could do is name it after your favourite dad

Steve: I agree, this debate has gone on for too long

Steve: which one of us do you like best?

You: sure why not

Bruce: this is going to get interesting

Clint: I’m ready to take screenshots

You: I’m naming my dog peter

Steve: why?

You: because he’s my favourite daddy

You: duh

(Y/N) has left the chat

Tony: what

Steve: pardon

Bruce: AJAJAJA IM SCREAMING AND WHEEZING AT THE SAME TIME I CANT

Clint: OH MY GOD BYE

Bruce has been disconnected

Clint: I’m totally… going to… see if he’s okay… and not laugh about this

Clint has left the chat

Steve: I can’t believe this

Tony: …

Steve: you have your suit right?

Tony: already putting it on

Steve: the shield?

Tony: it’s right where you left it

Steve: it’s time to go squash a spider

Steve has left the chat

Tony has left the chat

18K notes · View notes

snipsnsnailsnwerewolftales · 7 years ago

Text

Crisis Averted

A/N: These are just a few scenes that popped into my head, as the story progresses, they will fit in. Possibly even send in your requests for the duo! You will see some new faces that are OC’s of mine. There won’t be many, and the parts will be minor, so far.

I do not own Teen Wolf or it’s characters. Sadly.

Word Count: 1,445

Warnings: None that I know of. Light swearing?

Xxx

You met at the FBI academy.

For weeks now two particular students had caught your eye, and for two completely opposite reasons.

One of the fellow students simply excelled way too much and way too fast at everything. There was no way anyone was just that good, no matter who you’re related to.

The other was a gangly, sarcastic yet in a good way, boy who seemed to push a friendship with the first after seeing him excel so fast.

It wasn’t too odd, you thought, wanting to be best buds with the “it” guy, but the friendship seemed to be unrequited, if not somewhat hostile, at the beginning. You would see them arguing in the corner, the one staring in a bored way as the other flailed unnecessarily for emphasis on his topics. One time this seemed to go too far, and maybe it was just the lighting, but you could have sworn the guys already pronounced canines seemed to be a bit longer, a bit sharper for just a second, his eyes seeming to turn gold as he turned away to look out the window at the dying sunlight behind them, and the grip on his backpack shoulder looked so tight that it might rip the material simply by clenching too hard.

Mr. Sarcastic had gulped, but other than that had remained calm as you sat wide eyed, glued to your chair across the room, watching the whole exchange. The rational half of your brain had excuses for everything it had seen, whereas the fantastical part was spinning at a million miles an hour, racking your brain for any and every supernatural, sci-fi, and fantasy movie you had ever seen to see if you had indeed seen what you had saw.

And if you had seen what you had saw, that meant you had to have seen something not meant to be seen, a rare sight, a glimpse of the unknown that seemed to stare back at you, even though his back was literally to you.

The three of you were the only ones left in the classroom, and summoning an unknown reserve of courage, you gripped your own backpack strap over your shoulder and marched over, tapping the brooding one on the shoulder as the sarcastic one sputtered in search of words most likely of distraction.

A low growl came from the first one, and he spun to face you, the glimmer you had seen in his eyes back for just long enough that your natural instincts kicked in, and you punched him right in the nose.

“Well, this can’t be good,” the sarcastic one mumbled, before offering you his hand. “Hey. I’m Stiles. By the way. And welcome to my world.” He gestured vaguely to the brooding one still holding his nose, jaw dropped on shock. “This is Jace, by the way.” The other one let out another growl, causing Stiles to scowl at him. “Be nice.”

Xxx

And that is how you and Stiles Stilinski became partners in crime at the FBI academy. You are like animal control for the werewolves, going around in a squad car, a SWAT van if you were lucky, and picking them up after full moons, and all that fun stuff. Stiles wanted to call you the “Supernatural Task Force United”, which made you chuckle only to cause a raised eyebrow be sent your way from him as he drove your latest save home.

“What? What’s wrong with it?”

“You do realize the acronym for that is STFU?”

Stiles’ jaw dropped, staring at the road ahead as the street lights passed by, his mouth finally moving to try and make speech, but only peculiar sounds came out, making you chuckle.

“Okay, smart ass, you think of a new one. Sing me the alphabet, and I will pick a letter, only start-“

“Start with ‘F’ and end with ‘U’?” You grinned at him as he let out a frustrated growl, punching the gas for no reason.

“You take all the fun out of everything ever. Like in the the universe, everything that is funless,” he pointed at you, eyes not leaving the road, one hand still on the wheel, “your fault.”

“Stop being dramatic, you’re acting like that Hale dude you introduced me to.”

“Which one?”

“Well…. Both. But I was referring to the younger one.”

“Derek.”

“I just call him ‘Dramatic’.” Stiles snorted a laugh. “And if anything, we are more like the cleanup crew for the mess that seems to follow you.”

“Follows us. I dragged you into this, I plan to continue to do so for the long haul and you gotta admit, you are kinda a magnet for problems of the supernatural variety.”

“Gee, thanks,” You huffed, looking out your window as you reached the edge of the woods. “Anyway, we are more like maids than a task force.”

“Don’t make me sing the alphabet.”

Xxx

You could hear Lydia through the phone even over the din that filled the space, wincing for what you imagined Stiles’ eardrums must have felt at the moment. Not really that you could blame her. Girl was a banshee, and she had some impressive pipes. “I keep hearing a-” she was cut off by the ominous loud noise on Stiles’ end, and knowing what it was yourself still wasn’t any kind of comfort. “That. I keep hearing a that. What is that, Stiles?”

He looked at you with his lips pulled into a thin line, and you wanted to shrink into the floor for him. “Um, we’re at the shooting range letting the new Beta let off some steam-”

He winced as her voice raised to a dangerous, near banshee level pitch. “Stiles! Stop it now! Someone is going to-”

“Die, I know, I get that since you started off the call with ‘I think someone is going to die’.” He rolled his eyes, making you stifle a laugh, sending a wayward glance at said Beta. They knew how to handle a gun, top in their class, you weren’t too worried.

“Stiles-”

He sighed exasperatedly. “How do I stop him?”

“Use your bat!” You cringed, knowing where the hole in that plan was.

“I, uh….”

“Stiles?”

He let out a defeated and agitated huff, rubbing the back of his neck. “They confiscated it from me for using it on a different Beta last week who was getting way too obsessed with turning his eyes on and off.”

Silence filled the air, and you couldn’t blame her. Dude had been weird. So his eyes glowed, so what? You had wanted to scream at him, “YOU JUST BECAME A WEREWOLF AND THIS IS THE FASCINATING PART TO YOU?!”

“Yeah, these wolves are weird. Makes me miss home.”

You reach out and kicked his shin lightly, knitting your eyebrows together on a glare sent his way, and he simply shrugged.

“Wow, that bad, huh?”

“They make me…. Sometimes I…. I miss Theo.”

Wait, he what?

“……I’ll come get you this weekend.” Lydia’s tone was understanding, and forgiving of the previous misunderstanding.

He sighed, closing his eyes, a small smile on his face. “Thank you. That almost made me throw up to say.”

You laughed quietly, shaking your head. Theo wasn’t all that bad, but still, you understood what he meant.

“I know.” Lydia sounded like she was smiling, probably thinking the same thing you were.

“Like, I seriously hate that dude.”

“We all kinda do.”

“These Betas are like, worse than baby Beta Scott.”

The line was quiet, almost heavy and tense.

“…..I’ll come get you now.”

Before she could hang up, Scott’s voice was heard in the background, “I wasn’t that bad was I?” Followed shortly by a loud, masculine sigh which you could only assume was Derek.

Pocketing his phone, you walked up to him with your hands behind your back. “Hey, slugger. I felt bad about being a crappy lookout last week, and-”

“Yeah, you owe me a bat.”

You glowered at him, bringing your arms to your front and producing a brand new aluminum bat. The anger on your face couldn’t stay with the beaming smile and awe filled eyes he had at seeing it, and you felt your own smile coming on.

A round of shots sounded from behind you, and you closed your eyes, taking a deep breath to restrain yourself from using the bat on the Beta yourself.

Opening them to look Stiles in the eyes again, you grinned. “Go nuts.”

“Oh,” he said, taking the bat and twirling it with a roll of his wrist, turning towards the lycanthrope at your back and leveling his gaze their way. “I plan to.”

56 notes · View notes

duaneodavila · 6 years ago

Text

Post Runs White Nationalist Propaganda Masquerading As Law-Talkin’

When you attack birthright citizenship, I know what you are really doing. I know you are really trying to lay down intellectual covering fire, under which your argument for white nationalism can be brought to the masses. I know you are afraid of the browning of the country, I know you’ve crunched the numbers and have come to the obvious conclusion that you can’t deport your way into a future of white majorities. I know you have two options: double down on apartheid rule, or strip away rights from non-white people who you can’t stop from living here. The Electoral College is going to do the work of the former, so when you come for birthright citizenship, I know you are fighting for the latter goal.

I also know that you count on decent people being too weak or frightened to stand up to you when you try to infect people with your bigotry and stupidity.

You can’t get an op-ed in the Washington Post if you titled it “America Needs To Be Ethnically Cleansed Of Illegals.” Somebody over there would notice that as inappropriate. But, if you call it: “Citizenship shouldn’t be a birthright,” well the Post ran that very piece of racist drivel yesterday. I’m sure somebody over there noticed that as inappropriate too… but somebody else probably said, “Hey, there are good people on both sides.”

The argument against birthright citizenship is a common one in white nationalist circles. But unlike most of their stink, this one comes perfumed with an air of Constitutional interpretation. That thin veneer occasionally gets the dumbass argument repeated or published by mainstream sources, because otherwise intelligent and upstanding mainstream non-lawyers can be easily intimidated by things that sound like the have some basis in the Constitution.

Essentially, the argument comes in three parts:

1. The original Constitution did not define “citizenship.” (Non-lawyer mind = blown) 2. Birthright citizenship stems from a misinterpretation of the Fourteenth Amendment. (Non-lawyer mind = confused) 3. Birthright citizenship encourages illegal immigration. (Non-lawyer mind = intrigued)

The Post op-ed was written by Michael Anton, a former Trump national security adviser. It quotes the work of Edward Ehler, an anti-immigration author. It hits all of these classic points.

The notion that simply being born within the geographical limits of the United States automatically confers U.S. citizenship is an absurdity — historically, constitutionally, philosophically and practically.

Constitutional scholar Edward Erler has shown that the entire case for birthright citizenship is based on a deliberate misreading of the 14th Amendment.

Practically, birthright citizenship is, as Erler put it, “a great magnet for illegal immigration.” This magnet attracts not just millions of the world’s poor but also increasingly affluent immigrants.

Usually, these central premises stand unopposed. Lawyers don’t fight these white nationalists on the law, because their interpretation is so stupid that it’s barely worth their time. And liberals don’t fight on the law, they fight on the policy that immigration is good for the country, a point on which there is overwhelming evidence.

But, I have the time. As a wise man once said: “If the milk turns out to be sour, I ain’t the type of pussy that’d drink it.”

1. The Constitution didn’t define federal citizenship, because it was taken as an article of faith that citizenship flowed from the individual states, and not the federal government. Our entire concept of “diversity jurisdiction” rests on the concept of people being citizens of different states and not one country as a whole. That’s doesn’t mean that the Founders thought birthright citizenship was “absurd.” It just means that they didn’t think it was their call to make.

2. The Constitution does weigh in on the issue with the Fourteenth Amendment. Everybody agrees that the whole point was to grant citizenship to newly freed slaves, citizenship that was taken from them by the Dred Scott decision.[1] To give African-Americans citizenship, it had to be as a matter of birth. There was no other way. You couldn’t do it through whether their parents were citizens, because Dred Scott said their parents were not. You couldn’t do it as a one-time grant to newly freed slaves, because that would leave out all already free blacks. The only way to do the thing we all agree they were trying to accomplish was to make citizenship attach upon birth.

WHERE IS THE MISINTERPRETATION? These white assholes keep saying that we’re misreading the Fourteenth Amendment. HOW? The writers of the Fourteenth Amendment wanted to do a thing. They did it in the only way they could. THEY WROTE IT DOWN. Where’s the freaking confusion?

If you pin one of these jerks down, they’ll start talking about Native Americans. The Fourteenth Amendment didn’t confer citizenship to Native Americans, who were clearly born here, and thus, they argue, citizenship wasn’t meant to be a birthright. I have little patience for people who use our racism towards the First Americans to justify racism towards New Americans, but there you go. If you think that our treatments towards Native Americans was a feature instead of a bug, that’s your argument.

3. Birthright citizenship is, almost exclusively, a “New World” phenomenon. In Europe and Africa, citizenship generally flows from the parents, not the place of birth.

Why? Well… slavery. Other New World nations had the same problem America did after the Civil War. Having a system where rights flow from the parents is UNWORKABLE in a society made up of newly freed people. Almost all the countries in the Western Hemisphere tie citizenship to the land.

That reality means we can test the white nationalist assumptions that birthright citizenship has the unintended consequence of creating a perverse incentive for illegal immigration. When we look at Europe do we see countries that are free from the challenges presented by illegal immigration? No? Then I think these white nationalists need to STFU and come up with an argument that is grounded in REALITY.

************************* This stuff isn’t hard, folks. Birthright citizenship is NOT a controversial proposition. Mainstream media is hell-bent on creating an argument where there isn’t one, in their endless effort to normalize white supremacists. Not all arguments are created equal, and it really shouldn’t be too much to ask a national publication like the Washington Post to be able to READ THE FIRST SENTENCE OF THE FOURTEENTH AMENDMENT before publishing white nationalists talking points.

People who make arguments against birthright citizenship are racist, dumb, or both. Here endeth the lesson.

[1] As an aside, it’s an article of faith that Dred Scott necessitated the Fourteenth Amendment, but you could just as easily argue that Dred Scott was wrong on the law at the time it was decided. Maybe if we weren’t so quick to excuse racist white men as “trapped by their times,” we’d more easily recognize that.

Citizenship shouldn’t be a birthright [Washington Post]

Elie Mystal is the Executive Editor of Above the Law and the Legal Editor for More Perfect. He can be reached @ElieNYC on Twitter, or at [email protected]. He will resist.

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kidsviral-blog · 6 years ago

Text

Gamers gunning for David Axelrod over objection to violent TV spot

New Post has been published on https://kidsviral.info/gamers-gunning-for-david-axelrod-over-objection-to-violent-tv-spot/

Gamers gunning for David Axelrod over objection to violent TV spot

http://twitter.com/#!/davidaxelrod/status/280552289360560128

As the first scraps of information about the Sandy Hook Elementary School shooter — many of them incorrect — began to emerge online Friday afternoon, video game enthusiasts were dismayed to see headlines identifying Adam Lanza as an avid gamer.

Many found a violent, gun-filled ad for the film “Gangster Squad” broadcast during Sunday’s Colts-Texans game in poor taste, and former Obama senior advisor David Axelrod was similarly troubled by a post-game spot for the M-rated video game, “Hitman: Absolution.” Gamers were about as happy to be linked to gun violence as responsible gun owners are, and they let Axelrod know it, sometimes in violent terms.

@davidaxelrod shouldn’t you SHUT THE FUCK UP! You want an outlet of blame so you point to games rather than the government, the true source.

— Brian Maldonado (@Brizzy_Bear) December 17, 2012

@davidaxelrod Take a big step back and literally fuck your own face.

— Paul Haffely (@Nogib) December 17, 2012

@davidaxelrod you’re a dumb fuck. Video games have nothing to do with it. You should spend some time with Sandusky, faggot bitch

— Povich, Maury (@bootysweaat) December 17, 2012

@davidaxelrod Maybe try passing some gun control legislation you coward, oh and kindly STFU.

— Mitch Lake (@mlake9) December 17, 2012

Evil happens and you FUCKS want to control EVERYTHING. DONT you? Pathetic. DISGUSTING. @davidaxelrod

— Harry(@Tark31) December 17, 2012

@davidaxelrod I thought you were a smart man, but I guess not. Video games don’t make people do violent things you idiot.

— Berny Marcus (@Ratchetfan3) December 17, 2012

@davidaxelrod How about we worry about violent people in general, and not focus on VIDEO GAMES and other cheap, useless scapegoats, hmmm?

— DragonRift (@DragonRift) December 17, 2012

@davidaxelrod sorry you’re way off base..whats next ban ads for violet movies & TV? its BS & not something I’d expect from an educated man

— Sean Good (@goodbar_ca) December 17, 2012

@davidaxelrod shouldn’t we also come the the realization that a sprite on the screen is not a human being? Go blame something else.

— addicted to youtube (@adicted2youtube) December 17, 2012

@davidaxelrod excuse me but doesn’t the government you work for kill innocent people for oil with the excuse of terrorism? Hypocrite…

— Renzo Lazarte (@Renoxzor) December 17, 2012

@davidaxelrod Would a game involving the death or foreign children via Drone Attack be more to your liking?

— Rob Penco (@pencotron) December 17, 2012

@jaketapper @davidaxelrod Seems pretty stupid to think the average person sees a commercial, or plays a video game, then murders people

— Jeff Hardacker (@hardacker) December 17, 2012

@davidaxelrod BLAMING VIDEO GAMES IS A COP OUT. They also have Call of Duty in Australia and GB. THINK!

— David Lovekamp (@D_Love) December 17, 2012

Hey, Occupods! Your heroes at Team Obama are coming for your videogames!MT @davidaxelrodShouldn’t we quit marketing murder as a game?

— Michael Graham (@MGraham969) December 17, 2012

@davidaxelrod Please opine on banning violent football games. Battered wives all over America are waiting with bated breath.

— Jim Law (@jimrl) December 17, 2012

You heard @davidaxelrod, gamers.You’re next!

— David Hines (@hradzka) December 17, 2012

@davidaxelrod the O campaign had no problem taking money from Hollywood and others that glorify the murder culture.

— Jonathan (@3ftswell) December 17, 2012

@pegobry @davidaxelrod I saw an ad for “Django Unchained” that was full of guns too. Let’s outlaw movie violence in the same bill! #idiots

— paul rinkes (@pr9000) December 17, 2012

@davidaxelrod Thanks mom but I’d rather decide for myself.

— Josh N (@fitdabattle) December 17, 2012

@davidaxelrod I blame chess as the origin for violence in society. Regicide isn’t cool, kids.

— Free Radical (@Free_Radical1) December 17, 2012

@davidaxelrod violent video games dont make school shootings. Lieberman was wrong after columbine and you and @arifleisher are wrong now

— Sam Barrows (@barrows350) December 17, 2012

@davidaxelrod Bullshit. Gun control too hard? Too much easy access to mental health services doesn’t sound as sexy?

— Matt (@MattPalm) December 17, 2012

@davidaxelrod you do realize, your future seal team sixers are the ones playing those games, along with your Drone pilots. Think about it

— TahoeNeely (@TahoeNeely) December 17, 2012

Axelrod wasn’t completely alone in his opinion. Will a closer look at violent video games become part of the nation’s “conversation” on guns?

@davidaxelrod 100% agree. For the sick/evil, they see life as their shoot ‘em up game. The violence exposed in the games HAS to contribute

— Sam (@sgoeb) December 17, 2012

@davidaxelrod I agree.These games r hypnotic.The right trigger 4 an unstable person could easily cause events like recent mass shootings!

— harriet mathieu(@mamarocks54) December 17, 2012

@davidaxelrod Probably the only thing I’ll ever agree with you on.

— DC Dude (D) (@DCDude1776) December 17, 2012

@davidaxelrod Agree! Makes me cringe watching sports with my 4 yr old.

— Josh Kaplan (@joshdkap) December 17, 2012

Those old enough to remember the efforts of the PMRC in the 1980s couldn’t help but be reminded of a certain former second lady.

@davidaxelrod amen! We mock God when we trivialize the gift of life He gave to us!!Tipper was right!

— Dianna Wentz (@DiannaWentz) December 17, 2012

You’re a little off, Tipper. MT @davidaxelrod In NFL post-game an ad for shoot ‘em up game. Shouldn’t we quit marketing murder as a game?

— Ryan (@RTMcNeely) December 17, 2012

Here’s a TV spot for the game.

@davidaxelrod Must be a popular game in Chicago

— scott (@bakerinCA) December 18, 2012

Read more: http://twitchy.com/2012/12/17/gamers-gunning-for-david-axelrod-over-objection-to-violent-hitman-absolution-tv-spot/

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theliterateape · 6 years ago

Text

American Shithole #19 — 500 Days of Bummer

By Eric Wilson

I don’t want this summer to be a bummer. Last year was the Summer of Puppy where Stella stepped in to fill the void of a loss so terrible, I still can’t write about her — my sweet Layla. That summer though, followed 365 days less Trump. That is decidedly less Trump.

Those days are hell and gone.

Is anyone else feeling a little out of gas after 500 days of Trump? I sure am. This is all so spectacularly gross; and taxing. Turd sandwich after turd sandwich makes my tummy ache. Another day? Another turd sandwich. Check the midday news? Turd Sandwich. Did you choke down that turd sandwich too fast? Well never you mind, here’s the evening news with a shit milkshake to wash it down.

Mm, tastes like Giuliani.

But alas, we must carry on; forward we push, on to the pressing questions of the week!

Now that I have been proven horribly wrong in my prediction that Scott Pruitt would lose his job long ago, I figure it’s time to get back to my seer's roots. Back to a source that has never let me down. Back to the Oracle, baby. Let’s consult the Magic 8-Ball for (answers) to this week’s big questions. Here we go:

1. Did the dick dictator dictate? (It is decidedly so.)

2. Will Mueller’s investigation gather any high-hanging fruit before our collective will to live is extinguished? (Ask again later.)

3. Did this administration — via inaction and gross negligence — effectively murder thousands of Americans in Puerto Rico? (You may rely on it.)

4. Will there be another school shooting between now and five minutes from now? (Outlook not so good.)

5. Did Jefferson Sessions commandeer a former Walmart with blacked-out windows to house the hundreds of children he has separated from their mothers and fathers, and was a U.S. Senator from Oregon barred from entering that detention center for migrant children, with the officials on site going so far as to call the local police on the Senator? (Signs point to yes.)

What the fuck, Jeffery?

6. And finally, when adrift at sea — a sea of lying liars — is there an island I can float away to, somewhere I can play the fucking ukulele all day long, and spend my nights looking up at the stars? Preferably an island that isn’t on fire as it is mercilessly ravaged by rivers of molten lava? (My sources say no, loser!)

Hey, wait a minute. I’m pretty sure that last one’s not an official Magic 8-Ball answer…

(Whatever, loser!)

Whatever, 8-Ball. It’s a geyser of bullshit in Washington, America. I’ve watched enough CNN in 500 days to drown myself in it. I can say with confidence, if it weren’t for the deplorables, we would have flushed this guy already.

“Surely his base must tire?” I have asked a thousand times.

“Surely their reality must be tethered to some distant lamppost in their conspiracy-addled minds that can still illuminate the truth?” I’ve cried.

“Surely enough of these mono-browed, knuckle-dragging troglodytes will cease spelunking their own assholes for five fucking minutes; just long enough to catch wind of the geyser of fucking bullshit erupting from the White House?”

For far too many, it seems not. These modern day zombies may prove to be the end of us.

And with the lying from everyone involved within this administration being so effectively pervasive, so ubiquitous and insidiously destructive, I can’t even bring myself to watch Giuliani or Sanders spin the president’s words and actions this week. It’s too much. It’s just too damn much.

Uncle.

Oh, and can someone please find Bill Clinton’s handler and fire that worthless sack of shit for not keeping Bill the fuck off television? Jesus fucking Christ, can someone please keep the fucking Clintons off the goddamn television? Hey Bill, hey Hillary, shut the fuck up!

He is literally like the grandfather that comes to Thanksgiving and — during the huge family row — takes his fucking pants off. We have important family issues Pepaw; put your fucking pants back on and shut the fuck up!

Jesus fucking Christ. You’re on a book tour, because you wrote a book — a work of fiction I might add — with your buddy James Patterson, that no one wants to read while the country is ON FIRE, and you answer questions about Lewinski, sounding tone-deaf as shit about apologies, you stupid, insensate, doddering old lecher!

Could someone please fucking show the Clinton’s the EXIT sign.

Someone needs to give them a Hicksian reverse maître d’ — “Thanks for coming, street’s outside.”

Fucking hell, Bill. STFU.

(Sigh)

(Author's Note: President Clinton appeared on Late Night with Stephen Colbert after the writing of this column, with an admirable, even commendable performance. I love you Bill, but please shut the fuck up until this fucking monster is out of office.)

I am having one of those days, one of those “poor me” days. I was so frustrated and angry this morning — mostly due to chronic pain (for which I do my very best to keep a positive attitude, about 99 percent of the time) — and my temper flared, and I scared the dogs. So I have been feeling like shit about that all afternoon.

I woke up to my foot in puppy poop because someone had too many human dinner treats last night. It went downhill from there.

Here’s the thing about stepping in poop — it’s much worse with just a sock. The sock/poop combo really brings home the experience.

It’s just been one of those days.

It’s been one of those days where every outcome was somehow annoying — everyday tasks proved unnaturally difficult — and the walls felt like they were leaning in on me, trying to trip me, or throw me off balance, every time I’d round a corner. It’s been a day of obstacles and irritants. Every outside stimuli one would normally dismiss, was a buzzing bee, or a blaring siren.

Today was a buzz hassle. Today was a bummer.

As my friend Awyn put it in a private group this morning where I expressed dismay regarding my bummer predicament:

“This seems like a pretty common occurrence for the average American. Most of us have no money and tons of debt and we either do shitty jobs that kill us a little more every minute, or we starve and die more quickly. Government doesn't care which, so long as we are quiet about it.”

America's new slogan: Get Busy Dying. “We took the one from Shawshank and shortened it.”

All I know is, being able to see a doctor when you're sick shouldn’t be the pot of gold at the end of the American rainbow. I just want to be able to see the right doctor — like many, many Americans. That’s it. I can handle the rest.

Yet apparently we ask too much of our country’s billionaires — who have fought universal healthcare tooth and nail with hundreds of millions, perhaps billions of their filthy dollars over decades.

Healthier people are unfortunately happier people; and happy people don’t fear the bogeyman. For obscene wealth inequality to work, billionaires need lots of bogeymen — and of course, lots of terrified poor people.

Wasn’t it Christopher Hitchens who marveled that there are groups of Americans whom actually believe we aren’t awful enough to each other?

My medical adventure hasn’t yet reached a satisfactory or unsatisfactory conclusion — I am in Limbo — worried about insurance and coverage and pain and death and surgeries and recovery like so, so very many Americans. I won’t be pulling the trigger on American Shithole’s take on healthcare just yet; but I long to tell that story. I hope it ends well. Before it ends.

My experience so far is that every institution I have come in contact with involved in healthcare — from the pharmaceutical companies, to the insurance companies, to the hospital boards, as well as many of the doctors and the nurses — everyone involved is gaming the system.

None of them have your best interests, first.

Coming to this pitiful realization has siphoned my reservoir of hope more than Trump ever will. The disregard for the Hippocratic Oath in America — particularly regarding the opioid crisis — is at its heart, a betrayal by the scientific community. Greed apparently knows no boundaries. That’s what saddling healthcare with capitalism brings. Capitalism unleashes greed on our most desperate hour.

Our cruelty and indifference to our sick, our disabled, our dying, is appalling.

Anyway, back to the giant orange idiot, and how much he clearly does not give a fuck. I am starting to sense that Komàndant Bonespurs has pivoted from his “zero fucks given” default position at the outset of his presidency, to a somewhat more revved-up, 500+ days “negative fucks” attitude.

What’s the biggest story of the week — did daddy tell junior what to say about the Ruskies?

What was his response? He’s got Guiliani on television saying he can shoot the former head of the fucking FBI. Yep, put that one in the history books. He doesn’t give a fuck what anyone thinks or says at this point.

Are you numb yet?

Sure, legally it matters if he dictated the lies about the Trump Tower meeting that involved his son, but I’m not confident it matters in any sense involving the opinions of his base. With all the chum his legal team and the White House staff are heaving into the waters, the deplorables can feast for years without any need to belabor the facts — while the rest of us slowly drown in an ocean of deceit.

They are pirates on the high seas of American democracy, these filthy swashbucklers, riding the ugliest wave of populism since the 1930s. I look out on to the ocean that is America, and I dream of a blue tsunami — and yet all I see is Lady Liberty walking the plank.

What's on the horizon for America, you ask? Undiscovered country.

Will anyone bring these privateers to justice before it’s too late? Let’s ask the Magic 8-Ball one last time. (Don't count on it.)

B.S. Report

"Beginning June 15th at the Peace March in Chicago, the tour — dubbed March for Our Lives: Road to Change — will make 50 stops around the country over the course of 60 days. A separate tour led by March for Our Lives activists will make stops in all 27 of Florida’s congressional districts. Both tours will focus on registering young people to vote and educating the community about where their candidates stand on gun reform, and which of them have ties to the NRA." — Rolling Stone

4LWjr.

#500 Days of Trump #Giuliani #Robert Mueller #Jeff Sessions #Bill Clinton

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