#hey im gonna go die in a hole
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her hands fold in front of her, a picture of serenity she does not feel. long has she learned to disguise the more unsightly of her emotions lest her enemies use them against her. when was the last time she was free with them? perhaps when she told his father goodbye. perhaps when she heard his death. perhaps when she realised she might never know the kind of love he'd offered her again. there was much to mourn, but never the love that had lived between them. it was not uncomplicated. and it was not without difficulty. a burden she was guilty that her children had borne.
' your father laenor, he was a good man, the best option when i was presented them to wed. it was an arranged match. and we were friends. i was friends with his sister, laena -- and i loved her as much as i loved anyone really. and laenor was gentle, and he was not cruel, and our marriage made way for him to follow his heart - and he allowed me to follow mine. i do not regret marrying him. he was my best friend -- and i mourn his loss.. every day. and he loved you -- all three of you -- so very much. '
there's a breath here as she gathers herself. she has not spoken of harwin strong in years now. decades it feels. but the loss still burns. and grief still chokes. like weeds trying to snuff out the gentle starts of new life.
' harwin strong -- i met him when i was -- scarce even your age. my brother aegon's second nameday. i'm sure i'd met him before - but i didn't remember him until then. i had seen the white hart, and i'd brought my kill back. i was -- drenched in blood. i'd had a rather -- trying day -- with alicent, with my father -- with aegon. and i remember, in a sea of faces who -- were shocked and horrified. he was beaming. smiling with me instead of horrified of me. '
she moves to rest against the edge of the large stone table she's been using as desk. the papers strewn over the surface shuffling as she adjusts her skirts.
' at my wedding, to laenor -- a brawl broke loose, laenor's -- companion was slain -- and harwin came to my aid. hoisted me up, and carried me away from danger like it was nothing. and then -- somehow - we kept finding each other. until i realised i was seeking him out on purpose. ' here her voice quiets, another steadying breath. ' for years laenor and i tried to conceive, i loved him and he loved me, but his nature was that i was not who he could desire in a way that would result in children. so we -- put the idea to rest. and when, we both had taken lovers, and despite caution -- i had fallen pregnant. the idea was, he would claim the child. and while i was -- apprehensive of the plan - i had no reason to believe that your appearances would be so different from my own. '
here she reaches to let a single dark curl twist 'round her finger before releasing it. the story is nearly over, but it feels as if it has festered for years within her.
' that concern disappeared when i watched laenor hold you for the first time. he was enraptured. he could not have loved you more. he wanted to name you joffery -- after his love slain at our wedding, but i convinced him of jacerys. it was discussed, that the fathering of my child was largely irrelevant. as your claim to dragon, throne, and birthright -- were all due to my bloodline. and as i had carried you for nine months, birthed you - and barely let you out of my sight during those first few years. there was no doubt you were my boy. laenor was delighted to claim you as his son, corlys accepted it, knowing any more children i bore would be his potential heir for driftmark. and your grandfather -- he didn't care. he loved you. he loved you for being born and living. for not taking me as my brother took my mother. he loved you for your strong lungs that let the entire palace know you were hungry or wet. '
trembling fingers raise to press to her lips as she is awash in memories. the times she'd had then that she'd thought had been so -- fraught. instead they were now the times she looked back on them as golden.
' when luke was born, we all rejoiced. the same with joffery. it never mattered to laenor, nor i, nor your grandfathers -- that you were perhaps, not fathered by laenor. and harwin strong -- he was a good man. and i see so much of him in you. the compassion and fortitude you bear, those are not marks often held by us targaryens. but by the man i loved, and who loved me enough to give me you? they were some of his best qualities. '
silence as she finishes. the unsteady beat of her heart feels audible in this echoing chamber carved from a stone as old as the dragons themselves.
' when the eggs hatched for you, none of it mattered. you are a targaryen. you are a dragon rider. you are my heir. you are my son. you have never been bastard born. laenor claimed you, harwin loved you, and i love you -- and i -- i am sorry this was never said until now. i'm sorry -- that this ghost has hung over you haunting you. i only ever wanted to protect you -- '
Jace had not expected to be summoned. It is rare enough, these days, for her to summon him, unless he has done something - such as when he flew to the Twins to negotiate with the Freys without her knowledge or permission. She was his queen, and his mother, but he knew she would have forbidden that journey, and it was a necessary step in completing his alliance with the North, though that had been an afterthought. It was the nature of needing to be necessary, knowing that this war, being fought for his mother, would need his show of strength. After his mother, it would be him - and his fight for the throne might also end in a war. He had entered the room reluctantly, unsure of what she wished to speak of. Perhaps more on his idea of the dragonseeds, those with Targaryen blood who might claim the wild dragons in the mont and aid to their side of the war. While warring the dragons was not in the preference, it was unavoidable at this point. They needed all the help they could get, all the allies who would fight for their just cause. Her words do make sense to him, almost immediately. She wishes to speak of the rumors, of his bastardy, of the nature of his blood. There has been an acceptance to him in some ways: Laenor had helped to raise him, before his death, and in most ways, he regarded Laenor as his true father. Daemon had since been his father figure, helping to mold him into the man he was growing to now, helping train him with the sword. But Harwin Strong remained, a thought in the back of his mind, who he matched in several ways, but it was not true if they did not voice it, he had supposed, since he had asked the question several years before. He had buried it in his heart, for a long while, though his own claim would come into question if they won this war, the rumors surrounding him and Joffrey (he would not think of Luke in the presence of others - it was far too painful, and obvious) still loud, especially now. He nodded in her words. He trusted his mother, and knew of what she wished to speak, but he was not sure he was ready for it. But this might be the only time - no one knew who's life this war would claim next.
"I don't know what you mean." He does, but he wants her to say it, plainly, as she had refused to do so before. Perhaps because he was young, and not ready to hear it. He had spent the subsequent years protecting his brothers from the truth, even if Luke had eventually learned of it. It was beyond time for them to have this conversation, as far as he was concerned.
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i like overthink everything now it makes me feel so dumb. i used 2 be able to just talk 2 ppl but nowadays every single thing im like Is that actually going to make them hate me. Yes probably. and then i just dont respond which makes ppl hate me. this is how it is
#ive been overthinking 1 light and casual mildly funny response to something but im worried itll come off as disrespectful and dismissive And#make me seem stupid and uncaring all at the same time. and also be seen as insulting. but like idt itd be insulting right like. im not#saying what it is so ig for all you guys know im like I mean if i say All your shit suck ball and i hateit kys. <- thats not the thing i was#going to say#like it doesnt matter now the window for response is closed now but i feel stupid bc i shouldve just said it it was light and casual. im so#bad at keeping convos gojng im convinced im not going to survive. In like a light and casual way like in a He will not make it through the#winter joke way. dw. im not going to do anything bc i had One failed interaction. if i was going to do anythjng itd be bc of the 8000000#other failed interactions. But im not. anyways. it just makes me feel so useless 😭 like i want to respond i want to talk to ppl so bad but#i feel like i mess things up Irreparably every time i speak OR i take too LONG overthinking my response and then i just cant respond bc its#been too long and then its been 3 years and the only messages ive ever sent r my intro message and 1 message 2 years ago that nobody#responded to at all. or the conversation stopped immediately after. and like i used to be better at this i was lkke. talkative in a couple#muts servers like. i talked 2 ppl daily in those servers and i had fun and like. I was an important part of the group and i felt like it#but i just feel like such an outsider for Everything and its literally my fault bc i cant just like. Talk. The explosion. bc im always like#im gonna try im gonna do it this time im gonna get it back im going to finally be Good connor and im going to fix it all and make a Good#solid friend group and ill find HEALTHY LOVE and i wont selfsabotage and ill move out and have a job and ill balance it well and ill start#all my hobbies and ill have a great routine and be so loveable and on top of it and not stressed and content and happy and roll with the#punches and then theres a single hiccup and im like Well fuckinf whatever im going to be an unemployed hermit forever and im going to die b4#im 25 anyways so Who cares and also im digging a little hole for myself. and its like. AUGHH ik i just have to persevere and overcome but#even saying that feels so stupid its not fucking hard its Talking to ppl. like. i literally if ive ever said a word to you i had to think#avt it and strategize how to respond right even for like. like. it makes it sound like its not genuine it is#like for example i want to say hey i love your art! but then i freak out and im like thats not normal thats like a rly generic comment they#hear that all the time theyll thjnk im being polite and my brains like hrmmm rewrite Your art changed my life. It shaped me. Ill never be#the same. Nad im like ok too far overcorrected go back and the sentence generator is like Your art has colors 💯 like. GOD. WHY IS IT SO#difficult. and then usually i either just dont say anythinf and feel awful abt it 4ever OR i send it on anon and then i spend like 15#minutes ibsessively slightly tweaking the apelling and capitalization and punctuation to make sure it doesnt seem like its me just in case#it Is the worst possible thing to say but then i see the response and itll be like AWWW TYSM :] THIS MEANS A LOT or whathaveyou and i feel#stupid bc i couldve just Told them this to their face and it wouldve been a good positive interaction we had. but instead i had 2 hide and#tyoe entirely differently so they couldnt sniff me from my typing style. and it soesnt even feel like the thanks is actually 4 me bc i#tweaked the message sm. and it still makes me happy that the oersons hapoy but its like. that couldve been a nice mutual interaction#like not that i need a personal ty i compliment ppl when i Want to compliment ppl and when its genuine yk. i dont do it so i get mutualpoint
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pros of using a fountain pen and bottled ink: i feel so fucking fancy
cons of using a fountain pen and bottle ink: i keep running out so quickly 😭
#aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa#im gonna have to steal a pencil from work so i can keep writing on my next couple breaks#this story is burning a hole in my head#'hey can i write the second book in the fantasy trilogy ive been doing'#'absolutely not go make some fucked-up and weirdly romantic cosmic horror. or die. idc'#n e way. i am being cursed by my own hubris and aesthetic sensibilities which is at least appropriate to the genre
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ATLA/LOK incorrect quotes
F, M & GN reader | every scenario without the readers gender being specified is Gender Neutral.
Bolin, on the phone with Mako: Mako, I need you to come pick me up.
Mako: Why?
Bolin: Y/n is busy passive-aggressively doing the dishes they asked me to do 6 hours ago.
Bolin: This house is not safe anymore.
-
Mako: Hey, whats for dinner?
Bolin: I cant tell you, its a soup-rise.
Mako: Is it soup?
Y/n: We soup-ose is could be.
Mako: Enough with the soup puns you two.
Bolin: Aww, you never soup-port our jokes.
[Five minutes later]
Mako: It was fucking tacos.
-
Mako: The stars look really pretty tonight.
Y/n: Yeah, they do.
Mako: You know who else looks pretty tonight?
Y/n: Asami.
Mako, at the same time: Korra.
Y/n: What?
Mako: What?
-
Toph: Do you do anything other than whine like a little bitch?
Y/n: Sometimes I whine like a BIG bitch.
-
Mako, not looking up from his book: What did she(Kuvira) do now?
Y/n: SHE SMILED!
Mako: At you?
Y/n: No, at her dumb friends, but she looks like an angel.
Mako: Go away, Y/n.
Y/n: Shut up, I watched you pine after Korra while in a relationship with Asami.
Mako: Go on.
-
Korra: We can bake these cookies at 400 degrees for 10 minutes or 4,000 degrees for 1 minute.
Lin: That’s not how you make cookies.
Y/n: FLOOR IT!
Bolin: How about 4,000,000 degrees for 1 second?
Lin: yOURE GONNA BURN THE HOUSE DOWN!!
Korra: IM GONNA HARVEST THE POWER OF THE FUCKING SUN TO MAKE COOKIES!!
Y/n&Bolin: DO IT!
Lin: NO-
-
Korra: I’m small, but knowing.
Tall!Y/n: You dont be knowing what the top of a shelf looks like though.
Korra: …
Tall!Y/n: …
Korra: Bitch.
-
Bolin and Mako watching Y/n from a distance chase a squirrel.
Bolin: Thats the person I see myself married to in the future.
Bolin: Thoughts?
Mako: …
Bolin: …
Mako: ..and prayers, bro.
-
Y/n: My autistic friend(book 1 zuko) is my favourite person on the planet. I asked if he would still be friends with me if I got a mullet and without looking up he said “we are not friends” like ok bestie.
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Korra: Theres only one thing worse than losing.
[Tips over paper saying ‘losing Y/n’]
Y/n: Me.
Korra: No-
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Y/n: Are you sure you’re ok?
Zuko, crying: Yeah, it’s just these onions, man.
Y/n: …
Zuko: …
Y/n: Those are potatoes.
-
[Asami, puts on chapstick]
Y/n: What flavour is that?
Asami: oh its [chapstick flavour].
Y/n: Lemme taste.
Asami: Sure.
[hands chapstick]
Y/n, kisses Asami
Y/n: Shit it does actually taste like [Chapstick flavour].
[Asami blushing like crazy]
-
Y/n: Aang, why do good people die young?
Aang: When you are in a garden full of flowers, which one do you pick?
Y/n: The ugly ones.
Aang: Exactly- wait wait what, why?
Y/n: Because ugly bitches dont belong in my garden.
-
Toph: Hi, im your doctor today, I’ll be drawing your blood as soon as I’m done with my capri sun.
[Misses the hole four times before finally getting the straw in]
[Y/n, sweats profusely]
-
Sokka: I have the sharpest memory, name one time I forgot something.
Y/n: You forgot me and Suki back in the fire nation 3 weeks ago.
Sokka: I did that on purpose, try again.
-
Y/n: Listen to me, love is a scam.
Bolin: You’re making a valentines card for Mako right now.
Y/n, points glue gun at him: You’re on thin fuckin ice.
-
Zuko: Whats with the napkin on the glass door?
Y/n: Aang keeps walking into the glass door, so I thought this might help.
Aang: Oh cool, a floating napkin!
[Walks into glass door]
#atla#lok#x reader#korra x reader#bolin x reader#mako x reader#asami x reader#sokka x reader#toph x reader#zuko x reader#aang x reader#atla x reader#lok x reader
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heeseung smut + super shy reader 🤭🤭??
JERSEY ; LEE HEESEUNG
pairings. basketballplayer!heeseung x shy!reader
wc. 2.1k+
warnings. oral (f. receiving) , protected sex (wow crazy) , dirty talk, kinda pervy heeseung,
i hope you like it <3 !
heeseung loves seeing you in his jersey.
—
"you hate basketball." you maneuvered your way to your seats , your friend right in front of you. "i do , but i like jake sim more." she pointed to the boy who was currently on the court floor. "way way more." you shook your head , your friend had been obsessed with the basketball player since freshmen year , and when he finally started to show interest in her , she did everything she could to please him , including coming to his basketball games.
"i have to support him , you know how happy he gets when i come to his game." you didn't have a have a problem with jake , in fact he was actually really nice to her — you just hated basketball. "well heeseung is playing tonight , see." your face heated up just at the mention of the boys name. "i see that smile , im not blind , you should talk to him." you rolled your eyes. "like hell , i wouldn't even be able to talk to someone like him." you watched the boy pass the ball to the other player. "well jake told me that he talked about you." she said. "he wondered why you never talked." it wasn't that you never talked — you just couldn't talk to him , everytime you tried to nothing came out.
you ignored your friend , focusing on the game — well more so heeseung. he was ethereal , you've never been a fan of sweat , but he was just so sexy , and the way he played basketball. your heart damn near dropped to your ass when he made direct eye contact with you , quickly turning away , you didn't notice his smile before he turned back to the game.
all throughout the game , he'd constantly look your way , smiling at you before making a basket , smiling when you'd shy away , trying not to smile to yourself. soon the game was over , and your bestfriend was dragging you towards the court. "god it's like he can't make a basket without looking to you first." your friend said , you shook your head , waving her off. "stop saying nonsense." you scoffed. "and where are we going?" she pointed to the two boys walking towards you. "jake!" your friend jumped into the boys arms. "good game , im so proud of you." she kissed his cheek. "thank you baby." the boy said. "hey y/n." you waved. "hi jake."
"you know heeseung right?" he looked better up close , his body towering over yours , looking down at you , smiling. you nodded , unable to speak properly. "she's in a few of my classes , she sits way in the back." your face heated up. "she's a bit shy." your friend slapped your arm. "say something." you wanted to curse her out. "h-hi." you wanted to crawl into a hole and die. "nice y/n , nice." your friend sighed.
"we're gonna head back to our apartment , you girls down?" jake held on to the girls waist. "of course." you turned to your friend — who was too excited for your liking. "we are?" you said. "yes , we are." she gave you her best puppy dog eyes , she knew you couldn't resist it. "i-i guess , sure." she clapped excitedly , pulling jake away to the car. "you coming?" heeseung waited for you. "o-oh yeah." you followed behind him , he still made sure to walk slow so you wouldn't get left behind.
you climbed into the back seat of jakes car , heeseung climbed in the back, sitting down right next to you , his thigh touching yours sitting his gym bag on the side. "i hope you don't mind , but she looked like she was ready to fight me over the front seat so." your giggle , made him smile. "i finally got you to laugh." your heart was about to beat out of your chest , you turned to look out the window.
heeseung watched you out the corner of his eye , the way you fidgeted with your fingers , he thought you were so cute , he'd notice the way you'd always run away whenever he was in the vicinity , keeping your head down , smiling to yourself whenever he'd look at you , you did nothing to hide your crush on him , even though he didn't mind.
he could feel your leg shake with nerves. your skirt riding up just a bit , he wanted to so desperately squeeze your thigh , he wondered if you'd make a noise , he would love to hear it. "we're here." jake parked the car , knocking both of you out your thoughts. he let you get out first , taking a peek of your ass , before climbing out of the car , gym bag in his hand. you guys made it to their shared apartment , making your ways to the livingroom.
"you guys want drinks we have beer?" jake said. "y/n doesn't drink beer." your friend answered for you. "oh well there's sodas , but those are heeseung's and he doesn't like- she can have one." heeseung quickly spoke up. "you never let anyone drink your sodas." jake said , your friend sneakily wiggled your eyebrows , that made your little heart jump. "it's fine , she can have one." he sat down couch , next to the chair you were sitting in. "you must be really special." jake handed you the soda , sitting down next to your friend , heeseung's face turned red.
you guys ordered some food , turning on a random movie while you ate , and you listened to them talk , occasionally nodding when they talked to you. it eventually slowed down , and it became silent while you guys watched the movie. "hey." heeseung whispered , leaning into you. "hi." you said. "this movie is boring , did they even check to see what they were putting on?" you turned to the couple , they weren't even paying attention to the movie , they were two wrapped up into each other.
"i don't even think they recognize that we're still here." he laughed. "how about we go watch one in my room." was he serious ? in his room? alone? you could barely stand it when his leg simply touched yours , you don't know how you were gonna survive being alone in his room. "s-sure." you managed to get out. "okay , let's go." he held his hand out , helping you up. "t-thanks." you went to tell your friend , but she was already looking urging you to go.
he held your hand , guiding you to his room. "here it is." he opened the door , letting you in. "i cleaned it this morning so." you walked in , sitting down on the edge of his bed. "your room is nice." you don't even know why you said that , his room was pretty basic. "really?" he laughed , sitting next to you. "it seems pretty plain." he was so close , you could smell his scent. you looked around , your eyes coming into contact to most interesting thing in his room, his basketball jersey.
"try it on." he said , your eyes went wide. "it-it's fine." he stood up , picking up the shirt. "come on , i want to see you in it." he handed it to you. "i bet you would look really nice." you hesitantly stood up , taking the shirt from his hand. "go on." you put the shirt on , it fell past your legs , covering your skirt. his brain short circuited for a minute , you looked so cute in his shirt , it looked like you were wearing his shirt and nothing else. it made his mind wonder to a dirty place , how you'd look if he fucked you in his jersey , his cock stirring in his sweats. "d-does it look okay?" god you looked so cute , he just want to pounce on you , and ravish you.
"you look really good." the change in his voice made you feel something in your stomach. "so good actually." he stalked you , you stepped back as reflex , falling on to his bed. "i'm trying my best , i really am." he said. "but you look so cute , i can't stand it." your heart was racing , you swore he could hear it , he leaned down , grabbing your face , pulling you into a kiss — it was your first kiss , but it was surely the best kiss. he pulled away , his thumb tracing your bottom lip.
"did you like that?" he smirked , you nodded. "you want another?" you nodded , he sucked his teeth. "sorry babygirl , but you gotta sure your words this time." he watched you open and shut your mouth , trying to get your words out. "come on , you got it princess , you want another kiss right" he encouraged you. "y-yes , please." he smiled , his cock hardening even more. "good girl." he leaned in , kissing you again , this time much longer.
he tapped your thighs , signaling you to move further up the bed , climbing on top of you. you couldn't believe this was happening , you felt like you were in a dream , there was no way you were making out with lee heeseung in his bedroom. "so cute , been wanting to touch you ever since we were in the car." he kissed your neck , leaving little marks. "those cute legs , wondered how the felt wrapped around my head." you whimpered. "you sound so pretty , would you like that , for me to eat your pretty pussy?" his dirty words making your panties soaked.
"words baby." he unbuttoned your skirt , pulling it down slowly. "say it , tell me you want me to eat your pussy." he hovered above your clothed heat. "p-please." was all you could get out. "please what ? gotta tell me what you want." he was messing with you. "w-wan y-you to e-eat me out." you were so shocked hearing those words come out of your mouth. "good girl." he kissed your cunt , pulling your pants down. "fuck , you're so wet." he groaned , kissing your thighs. "pl-please heeseung." you whimpered.
"you gotta keep quiet for me , don't want them to hear those pretty noises." he licked a strip up your clit. "so sweet , like candy baby." he licked and slurped up your juices. "hee-heeseung." you bit your lip , trying to hide your moans. his nose bumped against your clit , sticking his tongue into your hole. "fe-feels so good." you soft moans and whimpers were music to his ears , he tried his best not to grind against his bed , but you were making it so hard. "hee-heeseung , im gonna-" you could barely get the words outs , before you were wrapping your legs around his head , your heels digging into his back as you came on his tongue.
he lapped up the mess you made , finally coming up for air , his lips wet from your essence , hair messy and his eyes blown out. "you made such a mess." he wiped his mouth , getting up untying the string from his sweatpants , his cock bulging against his underwear. "i want you to keep the shirt on." he grinded his budgle against your cunt. "wanna make you cum on my cock in it." he pulled his cock out , reaching over to pull out a condom , stroking his cock , putting the condom on.
"you ready?" he grabbed the base of his cock , pushing his tip at your entrance. "y-yes." you whimpered. "good girl , using your words." sliding into your hole. "oh f-fuck you're so tight." his eyes closed , your cunt was gripping his cock like vice. "fuck baby , you squeezing my dick." he pulled out slowly , pushing back in , his cock stretching you out once again , before he began to slowly rock his hips into you.
"taking my fat cock like such a good girl." you covered your face in embarrassment , he chuckled , grabbing your wrists , holding them down as he fucked into you. "no don't hide your pretty face , let me see how fucked out you are." he speed up his movements. "hee-heeseung." you clenched around his cock. "sh-shit baby , you feel so fucking good." he grunted.
"heeseung m'gonna cum." he rubbed your clit , hitting your spot over and over. "you're so vocal now -shit-" he said. "where'd my shy baby go , you're gonna cum , cum for me pretty." you wrapped your legs around his waist , clenching tightly around him , your thighs shaking as you came. "fu-fuck , fuck im cumming." he moaned , his thrust getting sloppier as he came into the condom. "shit." he pressed his forehead against yours , heavily breathing.
"you okay? i'm gonna pull out now." you nodded , he slowly pulled out , discarding the condom. "keep my jersey on , you look so good." hey layed down next to you. "want you to wear it all the time , even to my games." he pulled you close tucking you under his arm. "your games?" you questioned. "of course , you won't come support me?" he pouted , you smiled. "s-sure." you said. "good i look forward to seeing you in my jersey in the crowd." he kissed your forehead.
"and fucking you in the gym showers afterwards."
©️LUVYENI
#kpop x reader#kpop smut#enhypen scenarios#enhypen hard thoughts#enhypen hard hours#enhypen imagines#enhypen smut#enhypen fic#heeseung x reader#heeseung scenarios#heeseung smut#lee heeseung hard hours#lee heeseung hard thoughts#lee heeseung smut#heeseung hard thoughts#heeseung hard hours#lee heeseung x reader
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the bafta livestream out of context: top 60 cursed quotes.
There is nothing more cursed than the livestream I just witnessed, and I made a summary post but now I'm just going to put in quotes by the worthy maggots in the stream with no context, because BELIEVE ME THE CONTEXT DIDN'T MAKE ANYTHING BETTER. The livestream chat was NOT A PLACE OF THE LORD.
I'm going to make the quotes that were by me a different colour. Please know that I am NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR A SINGLE QUOTE OTHER THAN THOSE. SO HERE'S THE TOP 60 IN NO PARTICULAR ORDER:
Barbenhimer awakened things in me ok
aroace people the most disturbingly sexual talkers on the planet fight me on this
WHO JUST GASPED
MICHAEL SHEENS BABY TALKING BARK BADK IM A DOG BARK WOOF
I feel so sorry for this woman. She's being so heartfelt and we're here thristing over a slinky that possessed a man
IRELAAAND PLEASE ADOPT ME AS YOUR OWN PLEASE TAKE ME TO THE LAND OF UNPRONOUNCABLE WORDS, GREEN FEILD, CATHOLISISM AND HOZIER PLEASE
the urge to go to france and misgender a croissant is real
Devastated the slutty knees have gone away
So many men nowadays are so submissive and breedable like thank you lord for these men thank you
witches and murder slime tutorial
speaking of royals did the bloke who ISN'T lizzy's husband but her son apparently die yet
Turtleneck Crowley is my gender.
WE COULD HAVE LEFT IT AS NOT SAFE FOR WORK WHY THE DRTAOLS ASMI
SAY AN BFUIL CEAD AGAM DUL GO DTÍ AN LEITHREAS AN WE'LL LET YOU THROUGJ
"Oompa loompa doopety dee, I really hated being in this movie" -Hugh grant probably
IF YOU'RE A CHILD AVERT YOUR EYES FROM THAT MESSAGE IM SORRY
i want the kilt back this a betrayal
if someone put me in a room with kilt!david tennant one of us is walking out of that room pregnant and its not gonna be me
a lot of these words are in the bible and none of them should be in that order you need jesus
Can we vote to make david wear that kilt back? Maybe make him do a twirl this time
You mean Bildaddy? 😏
Honey what make you think a dude who roamed around with prostitutes and got himself more holes for mankind won't be calling bildad bildaddy? [this was about jesus btw.]
FREE THE KNEE
Show us the knees!
AND YOU'RE COMING AFTER ME FOR MY BLOWJOB BANANA
He looks like those fancy chocolates. Imma take a bite outta him. Think you'll leak molten goo like them?
My brain isn't working, I read "bratty couch jr"
i'm sorry the what holes
FIND ME ON GOAD AND I WILL MAKE YOU PAY APPROPRIATELY
I genuinely thought it was a road typo and I thought you were threatening asmi with physical violence on the road
OHH FLOWER OF SCOTLAAAAAAND
Combine that with the unfortunate oranges and see what happens.
DEVASTATING NEWS I ATE UP ALL OF THEM SO I'VE BROUGHT A BLOWJOB BANANA INSTEAD
That reminded me of the army video where the guy was deepthroating a 7 inch banana without a hitch.
OMG THEY JUST FLASHED BACK & I GOT A GLIMPSE OF THAT KILT 🥵🥵🥵
thats why apollo had to deliver you at an illegal sushi restaurant
How long do you think it would take to get david naked from his chocolate man suit? Can we set a new speedrun category?
SUPERBOWL FOR TENNANTISTS
Big feelings about pants straps in the chat tonight
Last time i check yoire supposed to thank the lord gor his gifts
HEY GUYS ASMI'S FROM A PARALLEL UNIVERSE CONFIRMED
I just have a deep appreciation for ireland
Can you use suspenders as bondage gear? I mean it looks like it would be fine? I mean if you make the length a bit more they might be more comfortable than ropes. Just sayin
All i can think when i see him in the costume is the one specific ken and oppenhimer slash fic. Lord help me i can't be saved
GIVE MY LOVE TO THE LEPRECHAAAAAAAAAAAUNSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Like a giant orange slice on her one arm.
Stop hitting the lectern geez / what if its into that?
Men who wear suspenders are such losers like why do you need so much cloth to keep your pants up. Why dont you just wear a belt. Where do you live. What is your timezone. What are you office hours
what is this suspender shaming ari chappal for you
Aziraphales office hours are: fuck off
Put me ina room with a suspender wearing man and he shall have the same fate as kilttennant
MARIYADAM E ILLAI
It was titled "snake in my b***" It meant butt lmfao
CROWLEY AND LOKI MY GENDERFLUID ICONS
THE KNEES ARE BACK
THEKNEES GOD SAVE ME FROM THESE SINFUL THOUGHTS
What if slutshaming is my kink?
NOT THE BLOWJOB FACE NO
AT THIS POINT IF NEIL HASN'T UNFOLLOWED ME YET HE'S ASKING TO BE MENTALLY SCARRED IM SORRY
I am failing
Tagging the main culprits whose tumblr handles I know:
@thearoacemess @vitrilol @queermarzipan @good-usernames-were-taken
Cheers, maggots.
#good omens mascot#weirdly specific but ok#asmi#good omens#maggots#good omens fandom#crowley#bafta awards#bafta 2024#bafta#suspenders#discord livestream#david tennant#michael sheen#barbenheimer#oppenheimer
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ARLECCHINO insists we call her daddy in bed, and one day we call her daddy infront of other harbingers/fatui by accident 😌🤭
- Slip of the Tongue -
hii !! ive been sick recently so i honestly havent been doing anything but resting bc i didn't think id get as many requests as i did!! but im gonna start clearing them out so pls bear w me yall 🙏
also u guyss have been so sweet tysm ! <33
Arlecchino x Reader (Smut ??)
🪼🌸 cw: gn reader, daddy kink, mentions of hooking up/sex/fingering, humiliation?, self explanatory, kinda short .
It was no secret amongst the fatui and harbingers that you and Arlecchino were sleeping together. It really was just something you both started out of boredom! But it grew into something more. It turned into the two of you being a lot closer. Though you guys definitely weren't dating (yet). Ever since you and Arlecchino started hooking up, you've come to find that she had a daddy kink.
You discovered that during one of your hook ups. She had you splayed out on her bed with 2 fingers restlessly abusing your hole. You were a moaning, babbling mess begging to cum, only to be met with a harsh smack to the ass! She refused to let you cum until you called her daddy. Which, at the time, you did with no hesitation as you were too focused on your own release. Fucked dumb just by her fingers.
Then, you two started getting closer. And you let it slip a few times when you guys were alone of just hanging out. It started by you accidentally calling her daddy when she would ask you to go do something for her.
"Hey, mind go grabbing me something from the kitchen?"
"Okay, daddy!"
To say you were embarrassed at first was an understatement. But Arlecchino didn't mind in the slightest! It just became a thing when you two were alone. Something natural.
Which is how you accidentally let it slip during a harbinger meeting..
You were gathered at the large table in the conference room with the other harbingers. Pierro was going over something to do with the archon of Fontaine when he asked Arlecchino for something. You weren't paying attention. You were too busy staring at her fingers and fantasizing about them when her calling your name snapped you out of it.
"Y/n, can you hand me the report we talked about?" Arlecchino asked.
"Oh! Sure, daddy!-" You handed off the report like nothing.
Then you realized your mistake once you noticed everyone staring at you. You could've died on the spot. You were mortified. You opened your mouth to say something. Anything! But you had no words!
The only thing that broke the horrible silence was Childes and the Balladeers laughter. Followed by Columbia and Sandrones giggles while the others just stared in shock for a few more moments (Dottore looked disgusted).
Pierro cleared his throat and grabbed the file from Arlecchino, trying to continue the meeting after everyone stopped laughing.
"Uhm. Right- Well.. As I was saying.." Pierro continued. Your head fell into your hands so you wouldn't have to see the mocking faces Childe and the Balladeer were giving you.
You wanted to die. Arlecchino snickering in your ear and calling you her baby did not help at all as she continued whispering all sorts of dirty things she was going to do after the meeting. Oh God.
#genshin impact#genshin#smut#genshine imagines#genshin x reader#genshin x reader smut#genshin impact fatui#genshin impact fatui x reader#genshin impact fatui x reader smut#genshin arlecchino#genshin Arlecchino x reader#genshin Arlecchino x reader smut#arlecchino#the balladeer#scaramouche#scara#childe#tartaglia#ajax#pierro#dottore#sandrone#columbina#fatui harbingers#genshin harbingers#genshin harbingers x reader#genshin harbingers x reader smut
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Give up sweetheart
taglist: @oppopotamus@adissonsss@saumspam@violentnewmarley
This is set in 2002, spending a sleepover at your house, you guys are playing card games while sorta practising. bare with me 😭
"Okay, you kids have fun, call if you need anything" Your dad mutter off before closing the garage door after giving you guys some drinks and snacks for your sleepover/practise.
The 5 of you look at each other's eyes flicking over one another before Bill jumps up running to the makeshift table of cardboard boxes with the assortment of drinks and lollies.
"Oi, no fair!" Georg shouts jumping up as well grabbing a packet of some thing trying to protect it from Bills grabby little hands "I want those" he whinges and Georg shoves them under his shirt, getting more sulky as Georg sticks his tongue out.
While that squabble was going on the 3 others were rummaging through the packets and bottles. Licking pieces of food to 'claim' it. The other 2 see that there chances of food is very slim as crumbs of lollies fall to the ground, "Stop" they yell in sink, Gustav slowly turns around while ____ and tom continue to stuff their faces.
Bill and georg make eye contact with Gustav immadiatly laughing at the look on hia face, the chcolate smeard on the outside of his lips the chip crumbs adding to the texture aswell as the pringle can in his hand.
Wanting to see all the commotion ___ and Tom look behind them to see Georg and Bill on the floor along with gust av who looks like hes about to choke, his hand is hitting the floor while gasping for air.
"Fuck looks like hes choking hahaha" Georg says wiping tears that had gathered at his lashline, there was a pregnant pause before ____ shouted " HE IS CHOKING" you fall to the ground leaving the lollies behind. The boys drop aswell trying to lift him to sit him up "Omg hes gonna die!!" Tom yells panic eating pringles, "No your not gonna die.... just hold on..." you mutter before moving behind him and wrapping your arms around his stomache.
"____, not really the time of hugs" Georg questions, you roll your eyes as you thrust you arms agaist him effectivly popping the stuck peice of popcorn out of his throat hole. A few crackly coughs later and gustav is back to being a human skin colour and not one of an alien.
"Mabey we should calm down on the food" Bill mutters flicking the peice of popcorn into a corner where it will inveitably collect dust and mold over. "Yeah i just saw my life flash before my eyes" Gustav huffs clutching his imaginary pearls.
"Ummmm let me have a look" you hop over to the box of video games you have rummaging through, flicking through the collection before pulling out GTA "this one good" you say holding the game up. The synchronised agreement was enough for you to quit looking and close up the box, grabbing the extra controllers and plugging them up (pretend it works okay)
Time skip cause im to lazy
You and tom had decided to see who was the best driver in Gta making the rules as: No running over people, No cutting through an no distractions to the other player.
"Hey ____ remember the time you liked that guy a-" "SHUT UP TOM" you yell face getting redder "Your cheating tom" Stop cheating" we hear from the background as the 3 others chug on drinks to pass time.
"Not even cheating" Tom rolls his eyes "whatever, your just saying that cause your losing and your trying to distract me" you smirk feeling like you have just one up-ed him."I was only distracting you because you took a wrong turn and aren't going the right way" he chuckles.
"why didn't you tell me" you look over your shoulder at the boys who are mixing the different flavours together. You groan as you try and get back on track, you see Tom black character car in the distance before he speeds around the corner to the last stretch of the map.
You lean forward as your face drops to being serious, the background sounds quieten as the race begins to get more intense. Tom and you are neck and neck as he trys to bump you off the bridge but you drop back a little before ramming into the rear of the car and speeding off in front of him.
"What!, thats so cheating" he scoffs trying to get back into first place dodging all the NPC's that are just walking around. You see the fallen pole that you have marked as your end in the distance you decide to tease tom a little to rile him up some more.
"Tom you cant win im almost there you have no chance" you smirk continuing your rant about how you are so much better at this than him and how you going to get all the 'prize money' which is like $1.50 but still.
As the front of your car is 10 seconds away from crossing the line you mutter into his ear " Give up sweetheart" you giggle as you pull away you both watch as your car crosses over the line although you both have very different reactions to it.
You stand up cheering and hollering the others joining as you hold you $1.50 is the air as you start saying a speech thanking everybody that was in the room. Tom on the other hand was still sitting on the floor face scrunched up as he drops the controller before sulking by the food scattered by the table picking piece pf crumbs up, inspecting it then munching on it.
"Oh Tommie stop sulking, here you can have half of my winnings you know because im such a generous friend" you smile batting your eyelashes holding out the 50 cents. "Its fine" you groans stanching the money from you. Tom looks at you a devious glint in his eye "i was just going easy on you next time your dont gonna be so lucky 'sweetheart'.
HOPE YOU LIKED PLEASE LEAVE REQUESTS
#tokio hotel#tom kaulitz#tom kaulitz x reader#bill kaulitz#georg listing#gustav schäfer#tom kaulitz imagines
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Symbolism
Hey chat its me ya boy skibidi rizz (im so done im sorry)
i was inspired by @rockwgooglyeyes and @sotogalmo to do symbolisms for each of my ocs!! In order: Animal, Flower, Tarot, Solar, and Sin.
this ones gonna be pretty long since im adding images, I'll be updating this post later with my 2 new ocs' symbols (both s41), so for now itll just be Toki, Clove, Hori, and Sera.
some choices have extended meanings, some dont!
Toki
Animal: Hare (usually fertility,,,, but um... no. just imagine a predatorial rabbit lmao)
Flower: Red Spider Lily (death)
Tarot: I The Magician, reversed. (Manipulation, cunning, trickery, deception)
Solar: Red Giant. A star that is nearing the end of it's life, it is so overwhelmed with energy and heat that it's about to explode.
Sin: Gluttony
Body: Teeth (to take apart)
Clove
Animal: White Tailed Deer (gentleness, kindness, grace, and sensitivity)
Flower: Orchids (hope, resilience, and endurance)
Tarot: XII The Hanged Man, upright (feeling trapped/confined, self-limiting, uncertainty, needing release, contemplation, lack of direction)
Solar: Rho Cassiopeiae. Rho Cassiopeiae (in the Cassiopeia constellation) is a single star, and is categorized as a semiregular variable. As a yellow hypergiant, it is one of the rarest types of stars.
Sin: Sloth
Body: Heart (compassion)
Horizon
Animal: Bat (transformation, true sight, power, rebirth)
Flower: Black Pearl Asiatic Lily (transformation, rebirth, and the hidden depths of the human psyche)
Tarot: II The High Priestess, upright (mystery, intuition, divination, esoteric wisdom/knowledge, things yet to be revealed)
Solar: Event Horizon. The event horizon is the 'surface' of a black hole. It is the point of no return. Once you are past the event horizon, you cannot leave, time and space continuum are warped and your perception of the plane is... gone. You will not be able to escape, it's a one way ticket to your fate: the singularity.
(the event horizon is the warped space around the black hole,,, it warps light as it passes through)
Sin: Sloth
Body: Eyes (The doors to the soul)
Seraph
Animal: Dove (prosperity and peace)
Flower: Lily of the Valley (beautiful, but poisonous)
Tarot: XVIII The Moon, upright (illusion, vagueness, instability, deception, misconception, subconscious, insecurity)
Solar: Singularity. The singularity is the center line of a black hole, it is also the end point. Do not see the black hole as a sphere, see it as a tunnel. The true singularity is the end of the tunnel, where everything is (yes this is a legit term) spaghettified. Light, matter, molecule, element, atom. Everything that passes the event horizon will end up in the singularity. You will die.
(theres no like,,, super cool image of a singularity,, not even what itd look like obv... also, the idea of the singularity is a tad bit outdated and the structure of a black hole has been reworked i believe, but for sake of. my sanity. were going with endpoint/center.)
Sin: Wrath
Body: Shoulder blades (if humans had wings, where would they be?)
#dear god this took so long#i took out my tarot deck for this#i had so much fun with the solar symbols though#OUGH space is one of my special interests AHHUSOJk#alien stage ocs#alien stage#alien stage oc#alnst#alnst ocs#alnst oc: toki#alnst oc: clove#alnst oc: horizon#alnst oc: seraph#zen's alnst oc lore/notes/logs
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WIP WEDNESDAY
@devilbearingtrouble tagged me like 2 weeks ago, but now I actually have something in progress!
DEADPOOL & WOLVERINE SPOILERS but not really, this snippet is vague. Also TW for canon-accurate gore (lovingly). Gonna hide most of it behind the readmore just in case.
(tagging @wyverningx @augusteofarles and anyone else who reads this 😈 bc im lazy)
the car scene altered my brain chemistry ok that was some gay shit
“You’ve made so many holes in me,” Wade chuckles breathlessly, skimming his hands over his torso. “If you were that desperate to be inside me you could’ve just asked. I’m not a natural bottom, but I can be flexible if it’s an absolute no-go for ya. Y’know, it’s funny—my suit should be in tatters by now with how many times you’ve filleted me today, but either the TVA made self-healing fabric or Marvel made a new hole of the plot variety.” Logan angles his head across the stained, shredded back seat with a long-suffering sigh. “I really don’t know how you can chronically put your foot in your mouth and still keep talking.” “Hey, you’re in the presence of a world champ. I won Deepest Mouth at the 2019 Foot-in-Mouth Olympics.” “Gross.”
“It’s a blessing and a curse.” Logan groans. “Do you have an off switch?” “You’re gonna have to find it, honey badger. I’ll give you a hint: it’s… uh…” Wade trails off as Logan reaches across the seat and finds his face. He touches his cheekbone. It’s weirdly intimate, the way Logan’s gloved thumb skitters across the jaw and knuckles press into his temple. Wade’s words don’t die in his throat, they can’t—they’re as unkillable as his body. Instead, they bounce around on his tongue like Pop Rocks, all full of things like what and why and sweet baby Jesus and fuck and wow and nice and are we doing this? whispered rapidfire under his breath. Then Logan’s claws emerge and spear into his skull. Wade’s vision blurs and warps into colorful sounds and loud shapes, then snaps back to reality when the claws leave his brain matter with a trademark snikt. Wade giggles. “Yowza, full penetration. A little lower next time? That’s where my—” He gets another fist to the face.
#dp&w#dp&w spoilers#deadpool and wolverine#deadpool 3#deadpool#wolverine#what's their ship name#poolverine#wogan?#wip#jules writes
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PLEASSSSSEEEEE CAN I GET AN ANGSTY ABBY X READER ON MY KNEES
phantom pain
misleading photos ish bc angsty abby!!!!!!!
so tbh abby speaks 0 times in this but idc. ellie and dina r the best tho! also so sorry it took so long to get to this 😭 have not been motivated at all
ALSO I PROMISE ELLIE IS IN THIS PLATONICLY BUT SHE IS ITS NOT IN THE ELLIE TAGS FOR NO REASON TY HAVE A GOOD DAY!
not proofread!!!
lyrics from ‘phantom pain / the rapture’ by leanna firestone !
my masterlist
you weren’t vital to my survival its just what it felt like
the door slamming shook ellie and dina out of their haze, both heads turning to see who walked in.
“dude, watch it the neig- shit. are you okay?” ellie quickly switched over as she saw the tear streaks on your face. both she and dina rushed over, pulling you to the couch.
“babe, what happened? i thought you were on a date with abby tonight?” dina treaded lightly, scared to upset you more. unfortunately, the blondes name only brought more tears to your shiny eyes. she shushed you, pulling you close to her.
“i just,” you pulled away from dina. “i think im gonna sleep this off.” your fingers wiped the salty tears from your face, finding your lap afterwards. “yea, im gonna go to bed.”
“i just,” you pulled away from dina. “i think im gonna sleep this off.” your fingers wiped the salty tears from your face, finding your lap afterwards. “yea, im gonna go to bed.”
“i just,” you pulled away from dina. “i think im gonna sleep this off.” your fingers wiped the salty tears from your face, finding your lap afterwards. “yea, im gonna go to bed.”
ellie and dina watched with concern as you slowly grabbed your bag and headed to your door.
“what. the. fuck.”
it didn’t kill me to lose you i just thought that it might and right when i think i’m finally fine
“welcome back to the land of the living, princess.” ellie smiled, teasing you as you finally ventured out your room.
you’d holed up in bed for days, only getting out for food and the bathroom. dina was close to intervening, but ellie convinced her you’d come out on your own.
you hummed in acknowledgment, eyeing her pancakes and bacon and making a b-line towards it. ellie tried to swat your hands away as you reached for her food, but you hit back. “i’ve barely had any sustenance, you want me to pass out, hit my head, and die, ellie? hm?”
ellie grunted, pulling her plate closer to her as you walked away with a piece of bacon in hand.
“babe ill make you more relax.” dina’s voice rang as you made your way to the kitchen. “hungry my love?” you nodded and she laughed, not shocked in the slightest. “go shower and i’ll have some ready for you. you reek.”
the girls made it their mission to keep you preoccupied from thinking of abby. a movie marathon, a couple pizzas and puzzles, and some reading, and they managed to get you out of the house for some fun.
happy and confident, ellie and dina led you to your favorite spot to go together.
“im gonna go grab a couple drinks, ill be back.” they both nodded with a smile and watched as you headed to the bar.
the healing is done its been enough time thats when, it sinks back in
you ordered all of your drinks, and stood waiting for them. you looked around the room, taking in all of the people and music.
an all too familiar blonde filled your vision. hyper focused on her stupid braid, and stupid arm around some stupid girl.
not even two weeks and she had found someone new?
ellie noticed you out of the corner of her just in time to watch you push out the door. “fuck...” she grabbed dina’s hand and rushed out to you but saw abby first. she nodded at you for dina to go after while she hung back. “hey, abby! what the fuck?”
dina watched you gasp for the breath outside the door. she grabbed your face in her hands, focusing you on her and her breathing.
“what about vermont?” a finger drew small doodles over your chest as your fingers ran through blonde locks.
“vermont?” abby laughed, looking up to you. “what’s in vermont?” she questioned, stopping her tracings.
“i dont know... its stupid but ive always wanted to go. my sister and i used to plan to live their when i got older.” you smiled fondly, pushing her away from her face. “its pretty, lots of trees. could live in the middle of nowhere. nevermind.” you frowned, looking away back to the movie.
“hey, no.” she turned your face back to hers, a smile on her face. “its not stupid. promise. sorry i teased.” she tickled her finger into you. “forgive me? please, oh so kind amazing lover, please forgive me!”
you laughed at her antics and gave in. “mm, fine. no more though.” she nodded, pressing a kiss to your lips and laying back down.
“so vermont it is...”
the invisible and incurable pain of
“fuck me.” you laughed, leaning into dina. “shes so horrible but god, i miss her.”
she nodded, a sad smile on her face. “i know. it’ll get better though, i promise. and y’know... karmas coming for her.” you both giggled as ‘karma’ walked out the door. “what’d you do?”
“ripped her a new one, thats what i did!” ellie showed off her newly bruised knuckles, making dina gasp and rush over while you laughed. “and whats so funny to you chuckles?”
“only you would say ‘ripped her a new one’!”
“hey, you didn’t have joel for a father.”
“... and then she pulled out a chair for me? like what? i mean, what a gentleman but like who taught you that, you know?” dina nodded, snacking on the popcorn you made. “anyways, we had dinner, which sucked by the way, and she’s like ‘wanna get out of here?’ and im just like, ‘what 2000’s movie am i in right now?”
“as much as i love your little commentary for your own story,” ellie teased, “please get this moving, i have class soon.” she checked her watch as she spoke, nudging you to continue.
“anyways. we went to this park i honestly thought she was gonna murder me, and we just like talked. like about everything and it was really cathartic. and then she kisses me! and dude it was like, amazing. best kiss ever. and she took me back to her place and...”
“oh gay people,” dina sighed. “wish someone did that to me.”
“hey!” ellie yelled, knocking her shoulder. “youre so lucky i have class.” she threatened, leaning in to kiss dina as she headed out. “love you, have fun!”
“can i be brutally honest?” you wondered aloud. dina hummed, looking to you expectantly. “i almost hoped for someone like abby. i just... i don’t necessarily miss her, just us, you know? and i wanted that back.” you let out a breath, leaning against her shoulder. “but im so happy she wasnt. she was so, so much better.”
losing a limb.
@lov9r
#abby anderson#abby anderson angst#abby anderson fluff#abby anderson x you#abby anderson x y/n#abby anderson x female reader#abby anderson tlou2#abby my beloved#abby anderson x reader#ellie williams#ellie williams x y/n#ellie williams x female reader#ellie williams x you#ellie williams fluff#ellie willams the last of us#ellie williams tlou#ellie williams x reader#dina nolastname x reader#dina nolastname
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RETURN OF THE KING: MALEVOLENT LIVEBLOG EPISODE 37 THE FARM
spoilers (you already know)
back at it with some humming!
JOHN MY BELOVED !!!! youre so bitchy i love him
HES SO PETTY HELP
harpers hill mention omg (harpers hill hijinks coming soon)
“MY BOOK HMPH 😤” girl 😭😭
“i didnt realise” yes because you cant see and john is like really really dumb
it kills me that john is bitching about oscar not finding anything but like what information have you contributed in the last 3 episodes
ive missed bullying john
malevolent is a comedy and i will stand by that
mmm rain sounds
HYPNOS GREEK GOD MENTION ‼️
“can you imagine hahah” yes i can it was the best arc of the show send tweet
well you havent seen his face
whys john being so quiet all of a sudden?
OH WHAT THEFUCK I SAW RHIS COMING
“i suppose ill just watch again” SOMEONE IS A JEALOUS GIRL
arthur ignoring john….. the girls are going to DIVORCE
“not you sorry ^_^” and then he goes back to ignoring john?? girl
oh wait that was very sweet
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST TOOK ABDHDNFN
sorry arthur speaking to john like that just destroyed me
I TRUST YOU AND YOUR MY FRIEND??? IM NOT TRYING TO IGNORE YOU?? THEYRE COMMUNICATING A
“its not because i dont care 💛” “…yes?” oscar this isnt about you
poor guy though he must be so confused
arthurs tone changes so much when he speaks to john
someone get john a pair of glasses either that or he was too busy daydreaming to see the turnoff
oh of course john would want to split off because he hasnt ever seen a horror movie arthur if you die then it’s your fault for not showing him the movie 🙄
“we might have to sleep in the car” okayyyy
oh so now john wants to give him info because he deserves to know
aaaand now he doesnt want to tell him. we love a hypocritical king !!!
return of the canadian sourry
you dont need to sound so smug that he looks hurt john 😭😭
okay oscar love the existential crisis while reading very relatable
is he gonna say arthur is his purpose
oh for fucks sake
NOT THE SOFT “oscar”
ok oscar is def into arthur and arthur saying “i don’t believe in god” is like rejection. this is how unrequited blindfaith can still win.
also god believes in you? well john and kayne sure seem to believe in him for what its worth
oscar nooo dont devote yourself to arthur that never ends well
john i dont care about oscar either but you have got to stop laying it on so think jfc
john the undefeated more like john the opportunist
“woAH” same john same
oooh so john can see auras now basically?
what monster are we gonna find in the barn 👀
oh that sounds fun actually though /j
AWW I KNEW HE WAS GONNA ASK IF HE WAS OK
ok i love how prominent the dreamlands are this episode i was just thinking about how good it was
john just wants his alone time with arthur because he cant answer his questions
“i need another set of eyes” thats like the one thing john can do it must be kinda sad to like, not be able to fully do the one thing you used to be great at
“ *gasp* a forgotten one :0” john dont act like you know what that means
hey is john a forgotten one then. is he. is he though.
can everyone except arthur feel the weirdness of places
NOT THE MUSIC BOX MUSIC IN THE BACKGROUND HARLAN WHEN ARE YOU GIVING US AN OST PLEASE IM BEGGIN YOU
ITS MIDNIGHT DONT GO IN THE FUCKING BASEMENT ITS RAINING YOURE BEING CHASED BY AN EDLRITCH THING
john its ok if you didnt see it you dont need to justify yourself ❤️🩹
john sounds almost scared to go in the basement lol
the stairs are gonna give out at a later date im calling it
what could possibly happen in the last 15 minutes
a door ajar omg is that a wtnv reference
did arthur almost die by getting crushed by a bunch of furniture
oh a barricade i know what this is about
oh happy halloween btw guys
OSCAR JUMPSCARE
my honest reaction too john
what… what did you just sink into….
oh hole in roof, cool
arthur pay attention oscar hes gonna set hjmself on fire on accident
the jarthur was too busy analysing the painting to pay attention to oscar
OH GODDAMIT ARTHRJ WHAT THE FUCK JOHN WHAT THE DAGGER? THE ONE HE SLIT HIS THROAT WITH
oh he wants to cut it off ok
jfc 7 minutes oh no
I CALLED THE STAIRS CAVING IN
GUYS HE WAS READING THE BOOK OFC HE KNOWS
question: how strong is arthur physically
“A TOWEL!” “A TOWEL?” as i said a comedy
WE GOT A “WELL DONE ORTHUR” LETS GO
you know its weird that i can handle this fine but couldnt deal with the michael torture in the woe.begone finale
NO ARTHUR ITS NOT OK
HES ISNT GOING TO MAKE IT
oh ok hes fine sort of ok
the music goes so hard again
that arthur was so scared
ok the arms alive run
or get john to arm wrestle it idk
“what thE fUCK WHAT THE FUCK” my daily vocabulary
and oscar was right :)
RUN YOU IDIOTS
arthur you could at least carry him instead of dragging him that poor poor man
i find it amusing that this mostly happened because of jarthur studying a painting and ignoring the man currently in possession of their braincells
indeed what do we do now
and thats a wrap! oh boy what an episode i have THOUGTHTS (oscar is not surviving this)
i know like maybe 2 people read this type of posts but i enjoy making and reading them back. so if youd like me to keep going with these i will :)
#malevolent#malevolent podcast#unhinged aromantics#arthur lester#john doe#john malevolent#arthur malevolent#malevolent john#malevolent arthur#oscar malevolent#malevolent oscar#malevolent spoilers#mr scratch#malevolent part 37
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Proud of Your Boy
Glass Shard || Vehicular accident || “Watch out!”
MK's missed one too many classes at his fancy schmancy school and now has to tell Pigsy he's at risk of expulsion.
However, MK would literally rather do anything-- anything other than tell him. Even if it means delivering noodles in rain so thick he can barely see.
This will work out just fine.
Ao3 Link
Pouring rain fell outside of Pigsy’s Noodles, setting a dreary mood for the already dreary teen pacing up and down the back alley. He was late for work, just as he’d been late for school, and late to wake up– all of which he had no good reason for.
He knew he should go inside, that his boss didn’t appreciate tardiness, but he couldn’t– he just couldn’t because sitting heavy in his front backpack pocket was a letter from MK’s principal, explaining that he’d missed roughly the maximum amount of classes for the year and was at risk of expulsion.
MK hated himself and his chronic lateness– it wasn’t that he was completely ditching classes most times, his trigonometry teacher just had it out for him, he swore. Though, it wasn’t like his other teachers were great either and sometimes MK felt like he’d sooner die than step inside those awful classrooms. Plus, it wasn't like Jian and his other classmates created a "welcoming environment".
Still, MK knew it was only a matter of time til he had to face the music– and turns out it just had to be today.
MK sighed. The last thing he wanted was to go into Pigsy’s restaurant and announce that all of the years of hard work making sure MK got into the same good and fancy school as Mei was for nothing, and MK had completely thrown it away because of stupid anxieties. He was sixteen, man– he should be over this.
But at the same time, Pigsy would be upset if he was late for work too. It was a lose-lose situation; MK was destined to get a scolding, but the question would be if it was about being late or about making him break his back with extra hours of work for years for nothing.
MK sighed, a particularly large drop of rain landing on his head and dripping to his forehead, which he quickly brushed away. He didn’t have time for this. He just needed to get in there and start delivering so he could avoid conflict with Pigsy for as long as humanly possible.
Taking a deep breath, the kid walked in, quickly slumping his soaked backpack onto the back office countertop, only getting more annoyed when he noticed there was a hole in the side, meaning one of his expensive textbooks was probably damaged by the rain too.
He was just on a roll today, wasn’t he?
“Put on your game face, MK, just get through today,” He muttered to himself in the reflection of the computer screen, noticing how disheveled his hair looked and the heavy bags under his eyes. He practiced a wide grin two to three times before he dared emerge and make his presence known with a quick, "Hey Pigsy."
"There you are, kid. You're twenty minutes late," Pigsy looked at the clock while frying shrimp.
"Y-yeah, I know– the rain delayed the bus," He lied. "Any orders yet?"
“Just one I’m wrappin’ up now," His boss informed, so MK took a seat at the bar, his legs bouncing the second they were at rest.
The kid glanced around the restaurant and noticed the stool next to him was empty. "Where's Tang?"
"Sick. At some point he's gonna order his usual for delivery online, but he isn't gonna pay, but that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t ask ‘im anyways," Pigsy rubbed his forehead a little with a sigh.
Great, Pigsy was already having a bad day and MK was just going to make it worse. What fun.
“School okay?” Pigsy asked, adding the final touches to the bowl.
“S’whatever,” He mumbled, messing with a scratch on the counter.
“If you make that scratch worse you’re payin’ for repairs,” Pigsy smirked a little.
“I’m not making it worse,” He stuck his hands in his pockets, cursing the fact Pigsy had eyes on the back of his head.
His boss got back to work with a laugh, and MK just sat and waited until he was done cooking and bagging it all up.
However, when Pigsy actually saw MK he paused.
“You… uh… doin’ okay..?” He looked him up and down.
“Like I said, the rain delayed the bus, can I take the stupid order now?” He rolled his eyes.
Pigsy frowned. “If the bus got delayed then it might not be best–”
“Pigsy, I’ll be fine, okay? The order was already made anyway, so let’s just take the money and that’ll be that,” MK snapped, surprising himself and the chef.
The chef shook his head and sighed. “Fine– just be safe, will you?”
“Yeah, yeah,” MK rolled his eyes, snatching the bag and heading out, hearing Pigsy sigh right as he passed the bamboo flap.
Once he was out and by the dinky little excuse of a delivery cart, he cursed the fact that it didn’t have walls or doors, but he was the one who built it so that was also his fault. Well, at least there was a see through rain tarp thing– he just had to roll it down– and try to avoid the massive pool of water it collected, of which he completely forgot about this time and was soaked even worse in seconds.
What a fabulous day this was, truly.
Grumbling to himself, he placed the order next to him in the passenger seat, buckling it tight before pulling up the address on his phone and heading out.
Traffic was annoying and the wind and rain made it even more annoying, as the lack of doors made for a very cold, wet, and anxious MK. It also didn’t help that his windshield wipers were powered by mere thoughts and prayers, so did very little to clear his vision. At the very least he still had his headphones, but being soaked and practically blind canceled out any benefits they would’ve brought.
But it was still better than telling Pigsy he was getting expelled, so MK drove on.
He managed to deliver the noodles in fifteen minutes and received no tip, which was– whatever at this point. What was one more sign he was a total failure anyways?
When he got back in the cart, Pigsy had texted him saying two orders were waiting, and Mei texted asking to call, so he quickly dialed her number.
“Heyyyyyyyyyyy~ how goes my favorite delivery boy?” His friend sang out.
“I hate the rain,” MK muttered, waiting to be allowed out of his parking spot but car after car kept passing him.
“Aw, is Mr. Piggy still making you work with the weather like this?” Mei sympathized.
“No, I asked to. I don’t know why, I really hate this,” He sighed, seeing a chance and going for it– cringing when a car honked at him.
“You know, I told you getting a motorcycle would’ve been better but nooOOoo~ you need a cart,” She teased.
“Oh, please, this thing holds a lot more meals than any motorcycle could,” MK rolled his eyes and joined the main road.
“Motorcycle would get you there faster,” Mei pointed out smugly.
“Pigsy says those things are death traps, you know,” MK countered.
“And that dingy little cart isn’t?”
“I take offense to that.”
“I’m not wrong~”
“You know, if you wanted to call just so you could bully me, just take a number because I deal with that enough already,” MK huffed, checking his blind spot and switching lanes.
“Ugh, are those boys still being punks to you?” Mei voiced her disapproval.
MK snorted. “You thought they ever stopped?”
“Look, if you want me to beat them up, all you have to do is say the word.”
“Funny, but I’m in trouble enough as is,” MK rolled his eyes.
Just then his phone beeped and there was a call notification from Pigsy.
“What’s that sound?” Mei asked.
MK sighed. “Pigsy’s calling, though I don’t know why– unless the customer I just dropped off already called to complain, which is… ugh.”
“Oh, are you gonna pick it up?” His friend asked.
MK bit his cheek. “Nah, I’m not too far, it’ll be fine.”
“Oooooo~ boss man’s gonna be mad~” Mei teased again.
“Do you want me to hang up on you? Because I can,” MK smirked.
“No! Pleaseeeee don’t hang up– I don’t wanna do my homeworkkkkkk,” Mei groaned and her voice became muffled, probably from her slamming her face into a pillow.
“Yeah, well, at least your homework isn’t telling your d– boss you’ve made him waste thousands of dollars for some hoity-toity school that’s kicking you out before you can even finish your third year,” He complained, turning right and Pigsy’s icon disappeared.
“What? Why?”
MK internally face palmed.
In his stupidity, MK forgot Mei went to his school too and would obviously be stressed at the news of his imminent expulsion.
“Nothing, I–” MK tried waving off, when a truck kicked up a huge amount of water right in front of him, causing water to soak his feet and ankles right where the tarp didn’t reach the floor. “I hate the rain, did I tell you that?”
“MK, what do you mean they’re gonna kick you out? Isn’t there something you can do?” he heard Mei sit up.
MK sighed. “Look– I really don’t want to talk about it, okay? So either hang up or talk about something else.”
“... I can see if my parents can do something? Like– give the school some more money? Sweet talk teachers? Anything, really,” Mei offered.
“Not in the mood, Mei,” he warned, making a right turn.
“Right, right, okay,” His friend sighed, and he heard her flop back on her bed.
There was a bit of silence, in which Pigsy called again, but MK just ignored it.
“Jeez, he doesn’t normally call when you’re driving, does he?” Mei asked.
MK shrugged. “Not really, but he’s probably just being a worry wart because of the rain, or–”
MK’s eyes widened and his stomach sank.
“Or what?” Mei asked.
“I-I– um…” MK hit ‘decline’ on his phone. “Nothing, hopefully– I-I–”
“Shit, is he mad at you?”
“I don’t know,” MK glanced at his phone and saw a text from Pigsy he didn’t read.
“Maybe you’re right and he’s just worried; that sounds like him,” Mei suggested again, and MK shook his head.
“I’m not far from the restaurant, maybe if I’m quick I can just pick up the orders and be in-and-out of there,” MK tried to plan.
“You think he found out about the expulsion?” Mei asked the question he dreaded.
“He’s totally gonna kill me,” MK lamented, pulling up to a red light before slamming his head against the steering wheel.
“He’s not gonna kill you– yell at you, maybe, but Pigsy wouldn’t kill you,” Mei emphasized but all MK heard was “blah blah he’s gonna kill you blah”.
Eventually, MK was greeted by the familiar sights of the restaurant and pulled back into his parking spot, which was where he noticed Pigsy… smoking.
“I gotta go Mei,” MK said, heart and stomach full of dread.
“We can video chat later if you need, MK,” Mei offered.
“Yeah, I–… we’ll see,” MK chewed his cheek.
“Talk later?” Mei asked again.
“Yeah, talk to you later,” MK hesitated over the red button, but Mei hung up instead.
MK glanced back at his boss, who wasn’t looking at the cart at all, his eyes towards the road with a distant stare.
MK took a deep breath, put the vehicle into park, turned it off, and got out. “Pigsy–”
“What’re these absences about, MK?” His boss looked at him, already holding the letter in his hand.
“How did you find that?” MK tried to dodge.
“Backpack had a hole in it and I decided to inspect it to see if I could fix it. Now answer my question,” Pigsy huffed, eyes firm.
“I-I– I know it’s bad– I know–”
“MK, you’re such a smart kid– so much smarter than me. Why would you do this?” Pigsy interrupted.
“I-I didn’t mean to-! I just–... you know it’s hard waking up on time,” MK put his hands in his pockets and went under the little ramada to protect himself from the rain, though stayed as far away as possible from the chef.
“How do you ‘accidentally’ skip nine entire classes, MK?! These aren’t late marks, they’re absences,” Pigsy pointed out, before taking a step back and smoking more. “I– I don’t get it.”
MK winced. “I-I–”
“You begged me to go to this school, MK. I have poured thousands and thousands of yuan– I just– why?” Pigsy looked at him all heartbroken and confused.
“I-I know you did, D– Pigsy, a-and I know– I know it’s expensive, I-I just–” MK started rubbing his arms anxiously and glancing at the door to the restaurant.
“Then why, MK? Why are you skipping classes?” He pressed.
Because he was a stupid and dumb idiot coward who didn’t want to deal with a few mean looks and would rather make his poor guardian spend a stupid, stupid amount of money for classes he didn’t feel like going to, that’s why.
“I-I… I don’t know–”
“What do you mean you don’t know?” Pigsy huffed.
“I– look, can I just deliver the orders to get this over with?” MK switched subjects, not waiting for permission before going inside.
“MK, you aren’t going anywhere until I get some answers for why I’m even paying for that school–!” Pigsy urged, following him in, cigarette still in hand.
“You know quitting smoking is supposed to be a permanent thing, right?” MK bit back, picking up the orders.
Pigsy stepped back, looking hurt by the low blow before he shook his head. “MK, this isn’t about me– it’s about you.”
MK tried not to care, using Pigsy’s somewhat fallen demeanor to get past him and back into the cart.
“MK–! Where on earth do you think you’re going?!” The chef fixed himself and followed him.
“To make my stupid deliveries and get out of your stupid hair!” MK shouted, struggling to turn the vehicle on when thunder suddenly boomed.
“MK, get back inside, we are not done talking about this,” Pigsy demanded.
“W-well I am! So– yeah!” MK got the ignition to start and shifted the gear into drive without buckling his seatbelt.
“MK!”
MK ignored him, barely looking before turning the vehicle out of his spot and turning onto the main road. Of course, he didn’t have the addresses plugged in so he’d have to do that while driving, which wasn’t smart and–
“MK– WATCH OUT–!” Pigsy shouted at the top of his lungs, and before MK could even turn to look, a car crashed into the side front of the cart, causing it to go airborne before landing on its side. Since MK wasn’t buckled in the slightest, he took the fall hard, hitting his head against the ground twice, and he cried out in pain as something hit his foot. He also had a sharp, sharp pain in his side, and was surrounded by broken glass and other fun rubble.
MK groaned at his stupidity and tried sitting up, but every inch of his body screamed that it was a bad idea. He tried just looking around, but his vision was fuzzy. He tried listening to his surroundings, but that was all muffled too– the shouting, the talking, the horns, the honking, the rainfall– all of it.
Great. Just great. Real smart, MK. Get yourself killed over skipping a few classes. Way to make Pigsy proud of you.
“MK?! MK–!” Pigsy’s voice broke above the ringing. MK tried to see where he was, but that was a mistake if there ever was one.
He heard shuffling and whispers and talking and shouting when a hand touched his shoulder, making him flinch– which made the rest of his body move and thus made him cry out in pain.
“Kid–! Oh, kid– you’re gonna be okay, o-okay? I-I’m right here– Didja hit your head–? What am I sayin’, of course you did– I won’t let you sleep, okay?” He heard his guardian say, and MK wanted to say something, but thinking just of words made him groan.
“I-I know kid, I know, it’s okay, I’m here for you kid,” Pigsy’s voice cracked– which was unusual. “Wh-where does it hurt? I-I know in your head, I know, I know, but where else, okay?”
MK tried very hard to concentrate, eventually sputtering out a, “P–pi–” before the pain in his side was too much and he instinctively curled himself a little tighter.
“Y-yeah, it’s me, I’m right here kid– where does it–” Pigsy gasped, apparently noticing something. He felt his guardian’s hands near where the pain was stemming, but they didn’t dare touch him, and after a beat, he called out, “S-someone– a-anyone– call 1-2-0– please-!”
There was more muffled talking but all MK could hear was the sound of his ill-tempered guardian sobbing openly.
He then felt a soft hand touch his soaking wet hair, stroking it somewhat as Pigsy whispered, “it’s okay MK, it’s okay, you’re okay, you’re gonna be okay, it’s okay–” over and over and over again. MK tried saying anything to make his guardian feel better, but could only cough and cry and groan from the all consuming misery before sirens wailed.
He heard Pigsy tell the EMT’s things before there was organized counting and suddenly his right foot was freed– though obviously still hurt like a motherfucker. He was still in agony when they put him on a stretcher and took him inside an ambulance, but at least he could see Pigsy now, who sat next to him, still stroking his hair as lightly as physically possible.
“You’re okay, MK, you’re okay– I-I’m so sorry for yellin’ at you, I’m so sorry,” his guardian continued to cry, making MK just feel even worse somehow as they drove away from the scene.
When they got to the hospital, Pigsy was pulled away from him, which MK knew because his crying and protesting faded.
The second his guardian was out of earshot, MK’s tears went from pain to sadness.
Soon after, he was taken to a room, where he was given an oxygen mask and pumped full of drugs as doctors and nurses pulled out a massive glass shard that had been lodged into his side. After that, he was given stitches and a handful of weird pills before being taken in and out of rooms with all sorts of scanners and weird machines, all while he barely maintained consciousness.
After about three scans, MK was taken to an average and empty looking room, where he was given yet another handful of mysterious pills he didn’t question. He was hooked up to a heart and oxygen monitor, as well as a new IV and a few weird stickers they placed on his head before he was out like a light.
.o0o.
MK awoke feeling like his mouth was full of cotton, and the rest of his head was full of lead. His chest and sides felt numb from where he vaguely recalled there had been stitches, and his right foot was in a cast he didn’t remember getting.
As he slowly cracked open his eyes, MK was met with a hellish cold light that only added to the misery of the beeps and boops of the machines around him. But that soon didn’t matter at all, as MK saw his guardian pacing the foot of his bed, dark circles under his eyes that were still red and tear-stained from–
From him.
He had actually made Pigsy, the hot-headed chef of pure titanium, shed real tears over him that fell and everything.
It made MK cry too.
“P-P-Pigsy–” MK croaked, hot tears streaming down his face, making the chef stop in his tracks and rush to MK’s side, which was when MK noticed how bloodstained his chef's shirt and tank top were.
“Kid–! Oh I’m so glad you’re okay– I-I’m so sorry for yellin’ at you, okay? I-I was just– I don’t know what’s wrong with me– you feelin’ okay? You’re safe now, you’re at the hospital,” The chef stroked his cheek again and MK leaned into it this time since it didn’t hurt that much and he could.
“P-Pigsy, ‘m so s-s-sorry,” He cried, his whole chest shaking.
“No– no, MK, don’t be, it’s okay, I-I was so stupid– I should’ve handled it all differently– it’s not your fault, okay?” Pigsy wiped away his tears with calloused hands.
“I shouldn’ve skipped class, ‘m sorry,” the boy just continued to weep.
“I’m not mad MK, I promise I’m not– I-I’m so sorry,” Pigsy now held the boy’s face with both hands and MK was just overwhelmed by how warm they were and how he never wanted to leave his da– Pigsy’s embrace.
“M’sorry Pigsy– m’ so, so sorry,” He nuzzled Pigsy’s hands a little and the chef laughed weakly.
“You’re such a good kid, MK, I know you’re sorry, it’s okay, I’m not mad, I’m not,” The chef smiled warmly and wiped away some of the boy’s tears.
MK smiled weakly, though continued to cry, which Pigsy let him, which was… nice. It was so, so nice. It was so nice in fact, that it briefly made MK consider getting himself almost killed more often, but he’d never do that to Pigsy and Mei.
Unfortunately, the nice moment could only last a minute or two before a doctor suddenly came in. Both quickly wiped their faces and tried their best to pay attention to the medical mumbo jumbo.
It was a long winding conversation MK knew he should’ve paid attention to, but he was still absolutely exhausted and his head was filled with emotions and worries and aches and drugs– and also annoyance at the monitors and an obnoxiously loud AC unit.
At least Pigsy seemed to be taking note, nodding seriously and answering questions while MK was too busy looking at the shapes in the ceiling and a painting of a tree on the wall.
When the doctor left Pigsy sighed and wiped his face again, despite there being no tears to wipe away, but of course MK didn’t blame him and wouldn't dream of pointing it out.
“Kid, I-I’m–... I’m gonna ask you about the absences, is that okay?” The chef looked at him hesitantly.
MK sucked in a breath but nodded.
“So… I-I–... why? What’s going on..?” Pigsy looked at him for only a second before looking at the painting. “You’re so smart, MK. You don’t pull the same shit I used to do on the regular– and I keep trying to figure it out– a-and why you’d be so– so scared to tell me that you go out and nearly get yourself ki–...”
Pigsy choked on his words and clenched his eyes shut before desperately blinking away tears and taking a shaky breath.
“I just… a-am… Did I-I…? Are…?”
Pigsy took another breath.
“Are you… afraid of me?”
MK’s eyes widened. “N-no! No, never! I-I just– I– didn’t want to disappoint you, o-or let you know I’ve been wasting your money, which I know you work so, so hard for, a-and I don’t wanna seem ungrateful because I’m not! I-I’m so grateful, Pigsy– I-I–”
“Hey, hey, take it easy kid, it’s okay,” Pigsy looked relieved as he wiped away another one of MK’s tears.
“I-I’m just– I’m so sorry– e-even I don’t always know why I skip class. It's just– it’s like no matter what I do, I just can’t step in– but that’s only happened five times! The other times’re just because my trig teacher doesn’t let students be late, I swear! I-I don’t like wasting your money, Pigsy, I really, really don’t,” MK shook his head and covered his face, which made Pigsy pull him into a nice and warm side hug.
“What do you mean you ‘can’t step in’?” He asked softly.
MK shrugged weakly, leaning into the embrace a little more. “I-I don’t know… Sometimes it just– it feels like I can’t– like there’s a wall and if I pass it I’ll like… die or something. I know it sounds stupid, I know b-but– yeah…” he looked away in shame.
“Classmates bein’ dicks too?” His guardian guessed.
MK hesitated, but nodded.
“It’s okay kid, I know a thing or two about teachers n’ classmates bein’ dicks,” He rubbed MK’s arm and rested his head carefully atop his. “You’re a good kid, MK. You’re so grateful too– it’s almost concernin’ for a kid your age to be so aware,” his guardian tried to joke, but MK could hear the sadness.
“Still… m’sorry,” MK sniffled.
“Ah, it’s okay, kid, we’ll get this sorted out; I’ll send an email to that principal askin’ to switch trig teachers or somethin’, or try to deal with any punk kids– see if there’s a deal we can work out,” Pigsy chuckled tiredly.
MK nodded, but didn’t dare move from his guardian’s warm and protective embrace. To his relief, the chef didn’t seem keen on breaking it up either.
But after a while, MK couldn’t help but ask, “A-are you… disappointed in me?”
“What? ‘Course not, kid– if anything I’m disappointed in m–that– uh– that staff at your school. I pay ‘em how much a year and they don’t even take proper attendance? What a joke,” Pigsy forced a laugh.
MK looked down at his hospital blanket. “I-I was just– I was so scared you’d hate me o-or something and I-I just–”
Pigsy straightened up and forced MK to look at him and his deep, soft eyes.
“MK, you’ll always have your ol’ Pigsy, alright? I’m not going anywhere. Ever.”
MK nodded hesitantly and his guardian hugged him once again.
“Good… because– because I really mean it, there’s nothing you could do to make me hate or leave you.”
MK laughed weakly. “I know, Pigsy, I know.”
“Good,” Pigsy laughed a little too, squeezing him a little tighter before slowly letting go and fixing up the boy’s appearance– or what could be fixed of it anyways. “Are you feelin’ any better, kid? I know I should’ve asked that before but–”
“Yeah, much better,” MK chuckled, before a thought came to mind. “Is– um… Is my phone still in one piece? And do you have it? I think Mei probably thinks I’m dead so I should probably text her.”
“Oh, right, yeah– you kids and your phones,” Pigsy joked, fishing it out of his pocket and handing it to the teen, who instantly opened it and saw a myriad of texts from Mei.
4:15 You talk to Pigsy yet? 4:17: I’m going to take your silence as a no 4:20: Are you done yet? 4:22: MKKKKK are you doneeeeeee? 4:45: MK you’re making me actually consider doing my homework plz respond 😩 4:50: Did he kill you? If he did sorry I instilled false hope. In my defense, you didn’t seem like you believed it. 4:52: Okay I’m concerned fr fr– text meeeeeee 4:56: Damn you two must either be having a heart-to-heart or he’s ending your whole career– if so BIG oof 4:56: Praying for you 🙏 5:00: You done yet? 5:02: Is your phone on silent bc damn you aren’t even reading these– and here I thought we were friends smh 😔😔😔💔💔💔 5:13: DUDE there was a crash outside Pigsys Noodles! Did you see it?!! Call me!!!!! 5:15: MK WERE YOU THE GUY WHO CRASHED TEXT ME RIGHT NOW 5:16: MK you better be alive or so help me buddha I will motorcycle to your apartment so fast and kill you myself 5:17: OKAY i didn’t mean that, plz be alive I’ll be so nice if you’re alive 5:20: MKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK 5:25: Call me as soon as you can, okay? I’m worried over here 9:37: My parents took my phone but gave it back now bc I did my homework but you didn’t call so ig we can both be mad at each other 10:42: If this is revenge for Kim, you’re gay and that was middle school, I thought you got over that 11:01: /j 11:04: /lh /ily 💚 2:42: I really, really hope you’re okay… 💚💚💚
“Yeesh, you kids really do text a lot,” Pigsy eyed all the messages.
“It’s how she shows love,” MK laughed a little, and shot a quick text:
4:01 “Not dead 👍 in hospital”
He waited only two seconds before his phone flooded with more texts from his friend, none of which he read, just typing:
4:02 “Go to bed. I’ll call when I have the energy. Ily 💛”
The barrage stopped, and Mei sent back:
4:02 “Fineeeeeeeee, ily2 or whatever 🙄💚”
MK hearted the message and chuckled.
“You two need better sleep schedules,” Pigsy pointed out, shaking his head.
“Bah, I’ll sleep when I’m dead,” MK repeated one of his guardian’s favorite mantras.
“Har-har, I see how it is,” The pig demon rolled his eyes and MK laughed.
“Had to,” He grinned.
“Yeah, yeah, whatever,” Pigsy ruffled his hair lightly before fixing it again.
MK chuckled. “How’s Tang doing? You call him at all?”
Pigsy half-shrugged. “Yeah– he was real bummed about not getting his noodles, but I talked sense into ‘im eventually,” the demon snorted. “He hopes you’re okay and get better soon.”
“Good, good,” MK nodded to himself, before glancing at his boss. “You– uh– gonna check up on him soon..?”
Pigsy laughed. “That big baby just has a cold, he’ll be fine if I stick around with you,” he assured him, though raised an eyebrow. “Why do you ask?”
“Oh well– um–” MK didn’t know how to respond. “I don’t know– I’m just– I’m glad you’re here, Pigsy,” he smiled weakly.
“I’m glad I’m here too, kid– I… I care a lot about you, you know that?” the chef asked nervously.
MK nodded with a weak smile. “Yeah, I know.”
Pigsy smiled with a soft hum, before he suddenly wrapped MK in another side hug and MK snuggled back up to him as best he could.
He knew it was stupid, that Pigsy was just his boss, but moments like these made MK feel like maybe in a different universe, Pigsy could be his dad, and that he’d stroke his hair and call him “son” and instead of saying “I care about you”, they could say “I love you”.
But that wasn’t what they had– MK was just his “ward” and employee, and Pigsy was just his legal guardian and boss, nothing more, nothing less.
But for now, MK could pretend and just be happy feeling safe and warm in his guardian’s arms without a care in the world– and a part of him could think that maybe– just maybe– Pigsy felt the exact same way…
Well, it was a nice fantasy no matter what, and he’d be fast asleep in the matter of minutes, snug as a bug in a rug in his guardian’s arms, feeling as though everything was right with the world for once in his chaotic young life.
#lego monkie kid#lmk#dadsy#whumptober 2023#pigsy lmk#mk lmk#my fics#we stan one (1) pig dad#he's trying his best dammit#precanon#angst#angst with a happy ending#tw car crash#tw hospitals#uhhhhhhh#anyways stan dadsy#that's an order#he tries his best#but like#tho the emotional disconnect will always make emo#GOD#when will they allow themselves to be father and son smh#i need it now
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Jjk first years with reader who was badly injured during shibuya incident ?
Sure, I don't have a lot of medical knowledge, so i didn't go into a lot of detail with the injuries!(I haven't gotten to the shibuya arc yet, so this might be inaccurate.( >Д<;)
(Yuji itadori, Nobara kugisaki, megumi fushigoro )
Yuuji:
"Y/n?" The pink haired boy stared at you "Y/N" he cried before throwing himself onto your hospital bed (literally) and hugging you tightly. "Yuuji, get the hell off me," you winced when his knee dug into your wound. "Oh shit im sorry!" He apologized and sat down in the chair right next to your bed." Miss Choko patched you up!" He said once he noticed you lifting your shirt a bit to look at the bandages that covered your torso. " You won't be able to feel anything until the anesthetics wear off! So uh... sorry in advance for probably opening one of your wounds. " You shot him a glare."Forgive me? Pleasee!" Your gaze softened at his apology, and you sighed. The room was now oddly quiet. It wasn't normal for a room with yuuji in it to be quiet. "I- I thought you were gonna die y/n," he admitted. "I tried my best to protect you from getting injured." He sighed and looked at you."I couldn't protect you then. But I promise I'll protect you in the future!"
Nobara:
You opened your eyes and found yourself in an unfamiliar room. You looked around and realized it was a hospital room. Once this information registered in your brain, you remembered the events of shibuya and shot up immediately, wincing at the huge wound you had on your stomach. "It's about time you woke up. I was getting bored waiting here. " You looked to your right and saw your friend Nobara." Well? Aren't you gonna thank me for waiting here all this time?" She raised an eyebrow at you, and you stayed silent."I missed a sale at Macy's for you." She rolled her eyes. Trying to distract you from her breaking voice and the fact that she was holding back tears. "I-im sorry." You apologized and clutched the blanket that covered you and stared down at your hands. "I'm so happy you're okay!" She cried, wrapping her arms around you and sobbing into your hospital gown. "Miss Choko told me you might not make it! So- I-i-i" She tried to catch her breath "I stayed here with you! I didn't want you to die alone!" She sobbed even harder and you gently rubbed her back "I'm fine nonara" you assured her and she backed away to wipe the tears (and snot) from her face "y-you owe me skincare! Crying like this isn't hic good for my face!" She huffed and crossed her arms." Once I'm discharged, I'll take you shopping. Will that be a good enough apology?" She asked, and she smiled."I guess."
Megumi:
"How are you feeling?" He asked, looking away from his phone and staring at you "I didn't think you'd wake up so soon" he said and put his phone in his pocket "whoever long has it be-""three days" he stated "you didn't answer my first question. How are you feeling?" Megumi leaned forward in his seat "well.. there's a hole in one of my organs and I have a concussion, and a broken leg. So I'd say I'm feeling great" you smiled and held up a thumbs up. He rolled his eyes and sighed "dumbass." He turned his head away from you "hey! That's no way to talk to an injured person!" You pouted "you're the one that went and got injured " he argued back and you laughed before clutching your torso "are you okay?" He rushed to check your wounds "did your stitches open?" He asked before looking up at your smug face "your such a piece of shit" he sat back in his chair " I'm sorry! I didn't meant to" you clutched your stomach as you laughed " it really hurts when I laugh but I can't stop laughing" you beamed and megumi smiled a little "good-" You slapped the back of his head before he could finish his sentence "because i'd be very sad if you stopped laughing"
#beginner writer#jjk oneshot#jjk#jujitsu kaisen#jujitsu kaisen first years#nobara kugisaki#jjk nobara#jjk megumi#megumi fushiguro#jjk yuuji#itadori yuuji
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Kenny x reader
Okay here we go with chapter two
Do I know what I’m gonna do for this chapter absolutely not. But you guys won’t know that because it’ll be done when you see it. 😝
But anyways hope you enjoy this chapter nuggets peace ✌🏾
Warning: probably some violence/ eventual smut/ fluff/ angst/ bad writing lol
The World Around Us
Strangers to Friends to Lovers to Memories
Chapter 2
We had some good news and bad news, the good news was you had made it to Macon and stopped near a liquor store.
There’s definitely gotta be some food in there.
The bad news was we were out of gas. So it didn’t look like we were going anywhere anytime soon.
Well this is as far as we’re going.
Then it’s far enough.
We all step out the car. I pick up Clem and hold her in my arms. Just to be safe.
Look!
We all turn to see what Ducks looking at, it looks like a guy, but something’s seems kinda off.
Hey there! You friendly ? Trucks run out of gas
Uh Kenny?
Before I could say anything else, the guy turns around showing his face.
He was 100 percent dead. And Kenny not only got that guys attention but the whole fucking herd of them we hadn’t seen until now.
FUCK!
WERE TRAPPED!
AHHHH!
We all turn to see who screamed. It was Duck and a walker was right on top of him, trying to bite him.
Before anyone of us could react, someone had shot the walker right through the skull killing it instantly.
Two new people appeared a women and a guy.
RUN!!
They were covering us. Now was our chance to run.
I held onto Clem as tightly as possible, Lee grabbed my hand. Kenny grabs his family and we all book it, heading straight for the liquor store. The new guy locking the store so no one could get in or out.
I sigh, squeezing Clem.
Are you okay sweetie?
I..I think so.
Once I catch my breath I look around. We got into the store safely, but with a whole new group of people as well.
We can’t taking risks like this!
And we can’t keep letting people die either.
When I say that door stays shut no matter what. I fucking mean it ! We don’t know who these people are they could be dangerous!
Worse they could’ve lead them right to us!
Where the hell is your humanity ! They would have died out there!
Then we let um!
We have kids with us.
Lee now speaks up.
I see one little girl.
I hold Clem closer to me. Not liking this guy one little bit. Clem pokes me.
Yes Clem.
I..I have to pee.
I put her down. And scan the room finding a restroom.
There’s a restroom there. Hurry up.
Clem nods and walks over. I turn back to the conversation
They’ve got kids lily.
Those things outside don’t care!
Maybe you should go join um then ! You’ll have something in common!
Kenny starts to get agitated
Goddamit Lily! You have to control these people!
Carly and glen just ran out there!
I don’t give a flying fuck, we’re in a war zone.
She’s not wrong, they took a risk. And we appreciate it. Now let’s settle down.
The big guy turns to Duck
Holy shit ! One of them is bitten!
Deciding I had enough of this guy I speak up
He wasn’t bitten.
Hell he wasn’t, we have to end this now!
Kenny walks up stands in front of Duck blocks the asshole from getting to him.
I’m very my dead body.
Will dig one hole.
No Im cleaning him up, there’s no bite, he’s fine!
Don’t you fucking people get it! We’ve already seen this happen, we let someone with a bite stay and we all end up bitten!
Shut up !
We’ve gotta throw him out, or smash his head in !
KENNY STOP HIM !
Lee, Peaches, what do we do about this guy!
Dad, it’s just a boy, it’s…
Lily I’ll handle this.
But your heart dad you, need to calm down. Well get these kids out of here.
A rush of anger goes hits me.
Kick his fucking ass, if he ever try’s to touch our kids.
That’s what I’m thinking!
Everyone chill the fuck out!!
Nobody is doing anything.
Shut up Lily!
He turns to the other girl.
And you shut the fuck up. They will find us and they will get in here and none of this will fucking matter. But right now where about to be trapped in here with one of those things!
What the hell are you talking about !
He’s bitten! That’s how you turn!
He’s not bitten. Lee stop this. It’s upsetting him.
Oh I’m upsetting him, what’s upsetting is getting eaten alive!
Dad we get it, it’s a big deal.
Do you? You’re not fucking acting like it!
Lee starts to get aggressive as well
Sit down! Or that’s it.
Ha, your gonna whoop me? You and what homo parade.
I step in again, also more aggressive.
This one !
HA that’s good.
Kenny glances at you, showing a hint of a smile.
The dude turns back to Kenny talking to Duck.
Little boy! Before you eat your mommy, you can watch your daddy, and his little friend get their noses broken.
This little shit
I’m gonna kill him Kat! Just worry about Duck.
Me and Kenny keep digging into this guy. I didn’t notice that Clem and Lee were talking across the store.
Lee.
Yeah.
There’s someone in there.
It’s just locked, keys behind the counter.
Probably.
I caught that tho. I don’t have time to think too much on it because the guy with the peanut brain is still yapping.
Hey! I’m not the bad guy here, I’m just looking out for my daughter!
No you’re just the guy arguing for killing a kid!
He’s covered in muck! She’ll find the bite. WATCH!
She won’t.
And if she does? The first thing he’ll do is sink his teeth into his mom’s face. Then he’ll probably pounce on your little girl. She’ll turn fast, and then?
Please, let me punch this guy please, I’m so ready.
You motherfucker!
I go to punch him but Lee stands in front of me. (Damn)
Then we’ll deal with it then! But right now you’re just feeling everyone out!
Then get ready to deal with it, because that boy is bitten.
Kenny still standing beside me speaks up again
It’s not gonna happen!
It is! AND WHERE TOSSING HIM OUT NOW!
Something in Lee snaps
STOP, you don’t touch that boy, you don’t touch anybody!
I step in, like we were tag teaming
We’ve got my little sister, we’re trying to protect in here too! You want to get violent you old fuck, well come on!
Lee steps back in
You better have a plan to kill us tho. BECAUSE ITS US BEFORE ANYONE ELSE IN HERE!
(Yay girl power.)
Before the old man could say anything else we hear Clem scream. I drop everything I turn to see what happened to my sister.
We turn to see a walker was in the restroom and trying to grab her. He and Lee react fast trying to get to her.
Lee was a bit faster then me tho, he grabs the walker and start wrestling with it. While I grab Clem and set her down next to Kenny.
I turn and see Lee needs help. Frantically I look around and see a bat on the floor, so quickly I grab it and run towards Lee and the walker.
Luckily he pushed the walker far enough away from him that I could swing the bat at the walker and not both of them.
I swing and hit the walker as hard as I can on the head. Probably a bit too hard. Its brains went all over that side of the store.
Man.
The woman looks at us
You okay?
Just great thanks.
Uh… guys?
We all freeze, us shouting from earlier was so loud it alerted the walkers outside, now they are trying to get in.
We all began to whisper
Everybody down. Stay quiet.
Clem scared clings to my back while I cling to Lee. He puts his arms around both of us.
There gonna get in.
Shut up.
All of a sudden we hear him shots outside.
Is that the military?
I don’t know?
Thank god for whatever it is.
The asshole speaks up
We almost died because of this bitch and her yelling! That’s was stupid! That’s was.. ahh ah.
He doubles over in pain
DAD!
He falls to the floor ( hehe karmas a bitch huh)
Was he the one bitten
I say with a hint of sass
No don’t be crazy! It’s his heart.
My pills.
He says very weakly, clutching his fucking pearls.
Uh-um Nitroglycerin pills?
Yes. We’re out. We’ve been trying to get into the pharmacy since we got here. Please try to get in there, behind the counter where the pills are.
She’s practically begging.
I sigh, I don’t like her father. But I’m not heartless. Me and Lee share a look making a silent agreement.
There’s probably another entrance. Maybe through the office?
How do you know that’s an office?
(Good question)
Uh educated guess.
It doesn’t matter, we need nitroglycerin pills. Please get in there. I’ll keep an eye on my dad.
Kenny finally speaks up again
Everyone else should get comfy and look for anything useful. We could be in here for a while.
I’m starting to think this drug store isn’t a permanent solution.
You’re right, this ain’t exactly Ft. Knox.
What do you suggest?
We need as much gas as possible so we can all get of downtown Macon. Fast.
Agreed.
Then I’ll head out and get gas. There’s a motel not too far from here, out towards the end of (Peachtree). I’ll work my way towards it and then loop, back siphoning what I can.
I hear Kenny chuckle softly, then look at me.
He thinks he’s so funny
This motherfucker, I cover Clems eyes real fast, just so I can flip him the bird.
He puts his arms up slightly as a surrender.
I shake my head smiling going back to the original conversation.
Alright well silence is consent. That’s the plan.
Damn Kenny distracted me, I didn’t even notice they were talking to me.
Well if you’re gonna go out there, here’s a walkie talkie if you get into a tight spot. Hopefully you won’t need it.
Hey that one was mine 🥲
Cool.
My sister has the other one. Check in with me and her and get back as soon as you can.
Kenny turns to wingus and dingus
And you. What’s your name.
It’s Lily, my dad’s Larry.
Keep a good eye on him. These guys will work on getting you your medicine.
Better than me Kenny. He turns to the other guy in the room.
And you, you keep an eye on that front door. You’re our look-out.
It’s Doug, you got it.
And I’m Carley.
Okay Carley, you’ll shift in with Doug or peachy when he needs it. For now, get some rest- peach you got a mean swing that could come in handy and Carley you’ve got a good shot and I’d like to keep it that way.
You got it boss.
Peachy?
I mutter under my breath.
Now get him those pills.
Well I’m glad that’s all over, I look down at Clem, I walk her over to a chair next to Carley. And sit her down. Popping a squat to her eye level so we could talk.
Do you need anything?
I’m okay, maybe I’m a little hungry?
I know Clem, I’ll see if I can find something for you.
I get up and start to look around the store anything to eat.
Near the counter I see Lee and Kenny talking, Kenny taking a quick glance at me then going back to Lee.
Huh what are those too idiots talking about. I wonder but I let it go once I found a energy bar on the floor
Well better then nothing I suppose.
I go back to clementine and give her the energy bar.
Thanks.
I nod and just decide to sit there next to her in the floor.
I don’t stay there very long tho, because Kenny comes up to me.
Hey, can I talk to you.
Sure, stay here Clem I’ll be right back
Okay.
I get up and walk with Kenny to a corner so no one could hear us.
So what’s up.
I wanted to thank you for standing up for my son. You and Lee really gave that old man hell.
No problem, plus ain’t no one hurting my little sister or duck, they’re just kids.
You don’t have to tell me, I was ready to tear the man’s head off myself. Anyways me and Kat appreciate y’all’s support. So thank you.
Don’t mention it.
But um, How’s duck doing?
He’s okay I think. We’re lucky as hell nobody got nabbed on the way in here.
Yeah, no kidding.
How is Clem doing?
Okay I hope.
Right, and how are you doing, you okay?
Well before we met Lee our parents left us messages that we missed so I listened to them. And um…
I try to hold myself together.
It’s okay you don’t have to say anything I get it. I’m sorry darlin.
I’m just not sure how to tell her.
You’ll figure it out, I’m sure you will. Plus she’s a tough girl.
Yeah she is.
But, that’s not really what I came over here to talk about. I wanted to talk about Hershel.
Oh.
We didn’t even try to save him that blood is on our hands. You know?
It all happened so fast.
I guess, but I can’t stop seeing him in my head.
Me too , but we can’t kill ourselves over it .
We killed that boy. We could’ve saved him together.
We did what we could and bad things happened. We didn’t kill Shawn. You think you did, when you think back on it. But in a moment? When things are really out of control. You don’t have a choice.
I guess.
I put my hand on his shoulder.
Just… try to let it go. And focus on the now.
I let go of his arm and go back to clementine to let him soak in what I said.
Kenny goes back to his wife and son.
(Kenny will remember what you said)
Authors note: and that’s the end of the second chapter yay, and so much more to go. I was gonna write a lot more in this chapter buuutt I’ll leave the intense stuff for the next chapter. Hope you guess liked this one. Next chapter will come out soon later taters. 😝✌🏾
#kenny x reader twgd#the walking dead game#kenny twdg#slow burn#series#romance#kinda funny#love chase
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casually leaking top secret files: elliots quote book. our little poet.
“my faggot bench!”
“magnussy”
“blast off! 😄 Its party time!!!😃🎉”
“theres not bugs in my bagel i swear”
“im allergic to josh hutcherson”
“I am a minimim”
“Oh worm i accidentally spelled banana”
“ive run off to play musical chairs”
“FUCK NO NO NO NOT MY SCARY SOAGETI PHAZE”
“Also the djungelskog is immune to fire I decided”
“I dont get it”
“Oh. Oh i see.”
“The camera be darriens”
“Hehehehehehheheh”
“hold my hand NOW!!!!”
“I smell potato. Im gonna die”
“Horray”
“NEW STATEMENT. ......of Jonathan sims...... Regarding a spooky book”
“Sonbign”
“wait wjos mr blinkkin”
“TUMMY HUT”
“STOP”
“WUAT
“STOP ADDING THINGS”
“GRRRR”
“ABAHABABAHABABHHABBAHABBAB”
“.....boob.............”
“Shit”
“Fuck”
“Damn”
“C O C K”
“I bite all of my friends [and you]”
“[Runs away] OW MY KNEES”
"i have a corrupt government plan"
“what if he had big naturals but it was just his eyebrows”
“earful? what about buttcheek full?”
“THE 😭😭😭MAGNUS😭😭😭 ARCHIVES😭😭😭”
“for someone who hates being mean to people-you talk a lot of buttcheek.”
“can i just have a peice of cheese? hooray!!”
“i have acquired cheese”
“giggling”
“*dabs*”
“its boobs** carter.”
“Because theyre fucking stupid, elliot.”
“Respond to me you buttcheek”
“you say thats the fattest thing youve ever heard—- have you heard yourself?”
“NOT YEAG”
“wait you need to add the-hold on i have to find it”
“im not gay”
“but men though”
“finish the story first awnwgh”
“WHO SAID THAT”
“I'M NOT A hOmOsExUaL”
“god FORBID”
“i hate gay people so much. i hope they all burn for their sins ooooh my name is elliot and im oh so hateful and i avtuslly said thtid. this isnt other elliot typing this up in hopes he will be cancelled, this is me, Josh Hutcherson saying i hate gay people.”
“Thats upsetting.”
“Rhe beabtles”
“KILL YOURSELF”
“sonbign”
“No bazinga”
“No, bazinga”
“No? bazinga”
“No! Bazinga?”
“no not lmoa”
“Good lord.”
“SOBBIGN”
“do i need to doxx this guys entire friend group.”
“I mean i said fuck it we ball but still”
“Nothing i thought we were just sharing what we were eating and what we were thinking abt”
“I know what im gonna wear… MY KNEE BRACES”
“Also im going to murder the guy that asked you to prom”
“hey dipper, if your show gonna make big money i can show you how to do tax fraud. wink wink.”
“it doesnt matter how it started it matters how its going”
“Mitchell…… ‘who is Migchel’ ‘mitchell…’ Cultist ‘woah’ *ex cultist ‘whyd he stop ☹️’ He got burnt at the stake 🤪 ‘HWTAP’ elliot sometimes i wish i understood the out of pocket shit you say’ :3”
“my plaSTIC NOOOOO”
“Will wood😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭”
“You die”
“OH MY FUCK MY QUEEADESA”
“DONT DROP HIM”
“HE WOULD PROBABLY DROP YOU TOO IF HE HAD LONGER ARMS”
“what if i slide into your bounce house”
“Autismo…Dont you mean… AWESOMEO”
“Wee woo”
“Movie tim…”
“THIS IS NO LAUGHI G BATTER”
“i am going to drink airport water real quick”
“i’m italian and german, im on the wrong side of ww2”
“im gonna bite someone do dododododo”
“mmm… medical help..”
“No like velcro”
“Is there a larry the cucumber in my bag right now, elliot.”
“MARTIN. STOP trying to TOUCH the PLASTIC EXPLOSIVE. just PUT YOUR HANDS in YOUR POCKETS or SOMETHING-“
Its crude oil! “Called it”
“if theres a will — WILL WOOD!”
“larold”
“stop rizzing up larry the cucumber.”
“This is…. larry the cucumber..”
“chiropracting…. OOOOW”
“i’m magnussing!”
“amongd us… what if amongst us?”
“i switch them out every other day” (referring to his collection of knees)
“dareiwn”
“FUCK ITS TOO LONG”
“😭🤣😭😭😭🧅😭so tried”
“His teerth aer nit skft😭😭😭😭😭”
“GOODFNINGET ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️”
“HOW DO YOU SAY MISSIPIPI”
“I’m serving cunt and ceaseless watcher”
“oh its my cult!”
“i was met with- BOOM TITTIES!!!”
“its a cult ritual ☝️”
“They crabs FUCK dude”
“Sigh. Faggot.”
“I love hole(s)”
“MISTER WHAT.”
“i wanna punt that kid into the sun. i want to make field goals with him, nevermind, i want to use him as the ball.”
“actually my mommy loves me very much”
“Booyah.”
“I love it when Mitski plays without my consent”
“Gerlad!!”
“Jaws the shart”
“THE REASON I KEEP GOING OFF SPEAKER IS BECAUSE I AM NOT SPEAKING I AN SCREAMING”
“I just perpetually hit the reblog button” (stuttering and on the verge of tears)
“They looked at tma and thought not gay enough”
“he suffers from white.”
“I didn't know your dog could bake”
“im not crying i swear i just have really wet autism eyes”
“What if. I forgot”
“Back in my day we didn't have no anti depressants. We just killed ourselves.”
“MAYcy”
“AAHHHH I KNOW THAT BALD HEAD ANYWHERE”
“THERE ARE COMMUNISTS IN MY FUNHOUSE”
“this is disgusting and i am going to be smearing it on my face”
“thats not charlie thats jesus hate to break it to you”
“im not crying okay? im batman.”
“THATS NOT ME ITS SHAKESPEARE, MODERN DAY SHAKESPEARE: HIS NAME IS WILL WOOD.”
“You look balder than usual.”
“asmr youre being eaten alive”
“THERES A TRAIN GOING ON BY MY HOUSE IM FUCKING TWEAKING I LOVE TRAINS SO MUCH”
“autism be damnked my boy can cook a bbq”
“autism win💀💀👻”
“Jonathermostat”
“let me give andrew the biggest, wettest, autism eyes ever.”
“hey bucko- hey FUCKo”
“yeah. take that POOKIE.”
“i do what i want BIETCH”
“am i so white that white face paint makes no difference “
“GOD. who needs that much food at once!! Slow down!!”
“The trout population will be affected.”
“i need a little baby rat— actually youre my little baby rat”
“balls blast? ohhh”
“the number of miles is i dont care—oh fuck”
“hashtag my tummy really hurts”
“*whispered after a long moment of silence* you should go on township…”
“would you like me to be your waiter.”
“thats a real knee-slapper— OW MY KNEES”
“balls”
hehehehehehehe hi its me elliot
JUDAS NOW
“I dont freeze Im too hot😎😎😎”
“i’d prefer not to have titties, thanks.”
you’ve been exposed @possiblyhenry
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