#hey if you want to help you can also blaze this post! I literally cannot afford to do so.

[theminecraftgay]

I literally have less than 5 USD. I’m still too sick to be able to do proper commissions, but RedBubble is doing free shipping on stickers if you want to help me out there! I only make 20% of RedBubble money, but it’s still appreciated! There’s not just stickers, and if I’ve drawn anything you want that’s not up there, let me know! I’ll add it!

I will still take smaller commissions (bust / headshots) but only with fair warning that I will not be on the same work pace as I prefer to be on.

Help your local trans disabled failboy have bus money to get to work and school. I’m waiting on getting my insurance back (I’m not even going to pretend I’ll have enough cash to refill my meds) and I might not get paid until June, so anything helps! If you want to help but don’t want stuff, my Venmo is theminecraftgay (shocker, I know)

EDIT (so info doesn’t get lost in rb nonsense)

I’m losing my job. If I wanted to keep it I’d need to be in school but my mum just got in a car accident and now our household of 8 has one small car and that’s a major priory, so I cannot afford the class anymore. I’m finding side jobs for the summer, but all of them are either a month out OR have an indeterminate pay schedule. I still don’t know when the job I have now will pay me, and this is now the last week that I’ll have it.

The day my mum and her partner got in the crash, my dad was supposed to pay child support. He didn’t. Again. So we couldn’t even buy groceries before they headed out to the funeral.

I’m like 90% over my flu so comms are now fully open. Anything helps, I know everyone is having a hard time right now, so I do understand if all you can do is share and move on. Thank you everyone for always being so supportive of me and my art.

Edited Sunday, May 12, 2024. Original May 8th, 2024.

[figonas]

Twilight Re-watch Notes Pt. 1 - A Contest for the Worst Movie Quote in History

I'd like to think I'm funny so please enjoy my scene-by-scene notes from a recent Twilight Saga re-watch.

Hey Catherine Hardwicke, opening with the death of an animal was probably not the best choice but go off I guess??

There is a lot of general Bella awkwardness that I'm skipping over here but the scene in gym class is so horrifically, painfully uncomfortable that I almost passed out from the second-hand embarrassment.

Jessica trying her best to be fake nice to the human embodiment of a crumpled soda can: "Aren't people from Arizona like....really tan"

Bella with all the cadence of a child who just found out Santa isn't real: "yeah..I guess that's why they kicked me out"

Mike clearly just trying to get his dick wet: "HAHAH you are funny"

no mike she is not.

I'm not gonna go into the biology class scene because god knows tumblr has beaten that particular horse to death. BUT the scene in the administration office immediately after that is a TRIP. Edward has one of his most dramatic lines here when they won't let him switch classes: “I’ll just have to endure it” ?!?!?!?!?!?! This is INSANITY, he sounds like he's going to burst into tears like Edward please chill you aren't even being a little subtle.

I will never get over Bella trying to put Ketchup on her burger and then just???? giving up???? when it doesn't come out after she limply shakes it approximately once.

“HOW YOU LIKIN DA RAIN GIRL” Is our first contender for the worst and most unnatural line in movie history, and trust me there are plenty more.

Bella accusatorily saying “you were gone” to Edward as if this dude who she met for approximately 30 minutes 2 weeks ago owes her even a PALTRTY SCRAP of an explanation about anything???????

Actually, this whole scene is a horrific nightmare of awkward intrusive conversation:

“You’re asking me about the weather” HOE WHAT ELSE ARE YOU GONNA TALK ABOUT YOU DON’T KNOW EACH OTHER

“hey did you get contacts” WHO JUST ASKS THAT?!?

and of course; “it’s the fluorescents” [RUNS AWAY]

Charlie and Bella have the only organic-sounding dialogue in the entire movie. Any awkwardness they have is BELIEVABLE father-daughter awkwardness and not like "I'm being forced to film this against my will" awkwardness like every other exchange in this film series.

Bella asks Edward ALL OF ONCE about him saving her from the truck and Edward gets so haughty and smug thinking that Bella won't figure it out

“you’re not gonna let this go are you?” “no” “then I hope you enjoy disappointment” [storms off] MY DUDE LITERALLY 2 SCENES LATER SHE FIGURES IT OUT IN 3 GOOGLE CLICKS

“I had an adrenaline rush, it’s very common you can google it” contender number two for the terrible dialogue award.

Edward saying “if you were smart you would stay away from me” AFTER HE APPROACHED HER LIKE FUCK OFF [skeleton throwing its own skull gif]

Kstew got a lot of flack for her performance in this movie but when she has a good partner to exchange lines with she SHINES. The scene with Angela and her at the beach where she tells her to ask Eric to prom is GOOD. EVERY scene with Charlie in THIS ENTIRE FRANCHISE is GOOD. It is nothing but pure misogyny that Rpatz didn’t catch any flack for his truly, horrifically awkward performance

I cannot believe Stephanie thought it would be a good idea to have Edward save Bella from potentially getting gang r*ped like I get it girl is about the drama but still this is just a TOOOUCH too far

“your hand is so cold,” WHO SAYS THIS TO SOMEONE THEY BARELY KNOW COMPLETELY UNPROMPTED???

SHE TRIES TO REFUSE CARRYING BEAR MACE WHEN SHE WAS ALMOST R*PED NOT 4 HOURS PREVIOUSLY LIKE SIS CARRY A KNIFE?!?!?!?!?

The “you’re impossibly fast & strong” monologue is so bad I want to barf

“I’ve killed people before” “doesn’t matter” BITCH YES IT DOES WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU

“MY OWN PERSONAL BRAND OF HEROIN” IS SO BAD. Like we all recognize how bad this is right? Especially when one considered the target demographic for these films, i.e. teenage girls, have NO FUCKING FRAME OF REFERENCE FOR THIS WHAT.SO.EVER.

“And so the lion fell in love with the lamb” YOU’VE KNOWN EACH OTHER FOR ALL OF 3 SECONDS I CAN’T WITH Y'ALL. AT LEAST THE BOOK HAD SOME BUILD-UP JESUS GEEZUS

Who thought this meadow scene was a good idea, they need to be sent straight to hell. WHY ARE THEY LAYING DOWN LIKE, SIT MAYBE?????? IT’S SO WEIRD AND UNNATURAL THEY LOOK LIKE DOLLS I HATE IT

The scene where they get out of the car and Edward puts his arm around Bella while Spotlight by Mutemath plays in the background is TOP TIER teen drama bs and I love it. Far and away the best shot in the movie apart from The Baseball Scene(TM).

I will never get over the fact that Edward's bitch ass rats Bella out for already eating when she comes over to meet his family. BE FUCKING COOL EDWARD FOR ONCE IN YOUR LIFE, GOD!!!

Esme is too pure for this world I can’t deal with her, & Emmet waving the knife is my favorite thing in all 5 of these movies

Why tf are Alice and Jasper fucking off doing god knows what in a tree and not helping with dinner like everyone else? Y'all ain't special even Rosalie is helping

Esme talking to Rosalie “Clean this up..now” I LOVE YOU BE MY MOM

Earlier they talk about the fact that vampires don’t sleep BUT the first thing Bella says when she walks into Edward's room is “no bed” girl we know what you after you ain't slick.....

WHAT IS THIS DANCING SCENE IN HIS BEDROOM IT’S HORRIBLE TO WATCH and I want to find whoever thought “well I could always make you” was a good line for Edward to say and slap them directly in the mouth.

“hold on tight spider monkey” excuse me while I VOMIT

Mike offering his opinion on Bella dating Edward HOWEVER justified is automatically invalidated by A. his own romantic interest in Bella and B. the fact that he has also know Bella for all of 10 minutes & has no bearing on her personal life whatsoever

THE PAST COUPLE OF MONTHS THIS MAN HAS BEEN COMING INTO HER ROOM AND WATCHING HER SLEEP THIS IS RED FLAG CITY LIKE BELLA WATCH A TRUE CRIME DOCUMENTARY OR READ THE NEWS FOR FUCKS SAKE

THIS FRANCHISE HAS THE MOST HORRIBLE KISSING SCENES IN MOVIE HISTORY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YOU CAN HEAR LITERALLY EVERY BREATH, EVERY AWKWARD PRESS OF LIPS. You're telling me THIS was the best take of this???? CAN YOU IMAGINE HOW AWKWARD THIS WAS TO FILM

The whole scene when Bella is telling her dad about her date with Edward is absolutely god tier. Charlie snapping the barrel of the shotgun closed, him motioning that he has a halo on, asking her if she still has her pepper spray. BILLY BURKE LIFTED THIS MOVIE UP AND TRIED SO HARD TO CARRY IT ON HIS BROAD, MUSTACHIOED DAD SHOULDERS, WE STAN

WHERE TO START WITH THE BASEBALL SCENE:

Supermassive Black Hole in the background, Alice going AWF with her pitching, Rosalie getting all pissed when Bella says she's out and Emmett yells "c'mon babe it's just a game" like the puppy dog of a person (vampire?) he is, CARLISLE WEARING A SCARF WHILE PLAYING BASEBALL, I WILL NEVER EMOTIONALLY RECOVER FROM JASPERS BAT TRICKS, EMMET AND EDWARDS LAUGH AFTER CRASHING INTO ONE ANOTHER.

A TRULY IMMACULATE MOVIE SCENE. This scene isn’t long enough

“My monkey man” might be the worst line in this movie, I’m so torn between which one is the worst. Also, I'm just now realizing that this is the second time someone has compared a loved one to some type of monkey and I really don't like it.

Bella's defeated “I can’t hurt him” breaks my heart every time. AND FUCKING BILLY BURKE pulling out his acting chops with Charlie’s poor little broken sounding “I know I’m not that much fun to be around we can do more stuff together” & “I just gotcha back” LIKE LITERALLY EVERYTHING ABOUT THIS SCENE HURTS ME ON A PHYSICAL LEVEL AND I AM ENTITLED TO FINANCIAL COMPENSATION

I know I've skipped over a lot but it's just a lot of like star wipe level montage of nonsense, so we are mOVING ON to what is possibly the biggest plot hole I've never recognized before now: How in the hell was James planning on luring Bella out if he didn’t find that videotape of Bella's mom looking for her????? Or was he just going to bust up in the holiday inn, metaphorical guns blazing & toss Bella out a window???

This fight scene between James & Edward is VERY poorly choreographed and you can practically see the stunt wires pulling on their clothes but no one is surprised..this is Twilight after all.

Who the fuck starts the fire in the ballet studio if Carlisle & Edward are with Bella, Jasper and Emmet are holding James's arms and Alice is ripping his head off???? Esme and Rosalie aren't there so the only explanation is that Emmett's power Stephanie never told us about is his ability to start small, controlled, indoor bonfires with his mind.

If Bella was losing blood from her femoral artery it is HIGHLY UNLIKELY that she would have been cognizant enough to tell them her hand was burning + THERE’S A BIG ASS BITE HOW DID THEY MISS IT???

Let Me Sign is such a good fucking song. Actually, while we're on music every song on every Twilight Saga soundtrack SLAPS. At least 1 department at Summit Entertainment was staffed with competent people. (side note, why the fuck do I know the studio by name that made this movie. I need to go lie down)

Bella acting a damn fool in the hospital bed like clingy much

CHARLIE IS SUCH A GOOD DAD FUCK!

The Edward/Jacob beef is so dramatic at prom can you both chill for 5 minutes we haven't even gotten to y'alls bullshit yet that's not until New Moon.

Bella really thought this mfer was gonna turn her at prom in the middle of the dancefloor??????????

Flightless Bird American Mouth. That's it, that's the bullet point

Victoria coming to prom, like we stan a dramatic bitch.

I will almost CERTAINLY post my New Moon (Extended Edition) notes in a few days. & yes I do have notes on the entire franchise.

[pikachugirl1250]

So

I guess no one’s made a post with quotes from the amazing Sonic ‘06 dub so here’s my master post:

“Oh man, I hope somebody fucks up the fireworks.” *literally 3 seconds later, the entire place is being blown up*

“O N E!” *said by Sonic in front of Elise*

“We always miss the ice cream airship, Tails!”

“Hey Rouge, hey Rouge, hey Rouge, we found the computer room.” “Oh fuck the computer room! We can play so much Fortnite in here, dude!”

“So, this is the fabled Tilted Towers.” *the whole cast bursts in laughter*

“That’s what you get for unironically having 69 in your name!”

“Going through the floor. Who do you think you are, Danny Phantom or something?” “My shadow...that’s how I got my name!”

*Mephiles (I’m sorry, Memphis) comes out, violently coughing, then laughs menacingly* “Welcome to Tilted Towers. My name is Memphis Tennessee and I am part lizard.”

“In your future, it looks like you will kiss seven girls. How lucky for you.” “Joke’s on you, if you a true copy of me, you’d know I’m gay!”

*after the Iblis battle* “And then we ate it.”

“I’m not even gonna pretend you were talking about Fortnite. I just really love bringing up my favorite game whenever I can.”

“They don’t treat you like a friend, they treat you like an item.” *the cast starts to laugh hard* “Sometimes I wish I could be more than just an accessory...but unfortunately, as a gamer, I don’t get respect.” “I’m not a gamer, so maybe they’ll respect me!” “That just makes you a beta cuck.” *the cast chokes in laughter*

“OH! OH MY GAWD, SOMEONE HELP ME!” ... “I had to trap Sonic in the hell dimension cause he disrespected gamers.”

“PUBG’S OLD NEWS, EGGMAN! Tetris 99’s where it’s at!”

“Tell it to us in excruciating detail, Tails.” “Well, it was a whole dream— Bye!” “You knew that was coming, you asshole.” *said by Ryan*

“You’re heavy!”

*both Shadow and Rouge turn around quickly* “Sorry, I thought I heard a cat.”

“All around me are familiar Blazes, worn out Blazes, worn out Blaze— IS THAT WHAT A HOUSE LOOKS LIKE?”

“I am happy with myself. I have a Positive Mental Attitude!” “Gawd I wish that were me.”

*a butterfly lands on Sonic’s nose* “This is food, Elise.”

“YOU MUST NEVER RAP AGAIN, OR ELSE THE WORLD WILL BE DESTROYED!” “Have you even heard my mixtape? It’s fire!”

“Aw dammit, I missed my opportunity on Sonic’s next album!”

“You don’t make this fun cause you’re sad!” “I’m always sad!”

“EGGMAN I FUCKED YOUR WIIIIIIIIIIIIFE—“

“I flushed them down the terlet.”

“Listen, you got any weed on you?” “No, what are you the only one who smokes weed here, Knuckles? Except for maybe Rouge. Rouge?” “Speak for yourself, motherfucker!”

“That’s the last fucking time you confuse me with that blue asshole. You did it once before, you did it again. You did it at our wedding, Rouge.” “You just look so much alike!”

“You know, maybe things aren’t so bad. I’m here, I got the nice ocean breeze. Just alone with my thoughts.” “Hey Silver.” “GAWDDAMMIT!”

“YOU HAD THE WEED THE WHOLE TIME?!” “YOU INTERRUPTED MY BROODING—“

“So, lemme get this straight. You’ve been dating...Sonic? The hedgehog? The blue one? Looks like this?” “I guess? If that’s my story arc, then yes!” *the cast snickers, then bursts into laughter as Amy examines Elise* “Yep, I can kill ya.”

“Wait, Sonic, which of us is the bride? Sonic! SONIC, I NEED AN ANSWER!”

“Go on, Shadow, don’t you support gay rights?”

“Here, do you want some weed?” “I do not have lungs, so I cannot smoke weed. But I will take it anyway, and put it directly into my brain cells. Here we go.” *Omega puts the weed into his chest cavity* “Downloading Weed.exe” “HOLY SHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIT”

“I was actually meaning to ask you a question: Are you seeing anyone right now? Cause there’s no one sexier than myself.” *Memphis chuckles* “Why? Are you interested because, um, I was actually thinking you and I are pretty similar.” “Bruh, I wouldn’t be asking if I wasn’t interested.”

“If you die in the game, you die in real life, Shadow the Hedgehog.” “How did you know Sword Art Online was my favorite anime? You should have known that I had terrible taste.”

*I would put it in Omega’s confessions, but the bit is that he’s being ignored*

“Shadow, you are my greatest creation of all time from the battle royale, and now look at you.” “Wait, hold on. Are you my dad?” ... “Well, if you’re my daddy, it makes the last dub horrifying. Gawd.”

“Now I carry around my boyfriend wherever I desire.”

“I didn’t have fun at all. My eyeliner’s ruined, my arms hurt, I got kicked in the head. I hate everything, and I didn’t even know I could do that.”

“How many times are you gonna run? I’ve captured you 17 different times!” “I feel like it’s gonna be at least 18.” *long pause, with a faint wheeze, then hysterical laughter from the cast* “The caucasity of this bitch.”

“If someone hacked into my Fortnite account, I’m going to have a birth of cactuses out of my asshole.” “Currently being hacked.” *Eggman lets out a high pitched scream*

“Hm, the desert. Count how many sand is here, Omega. That’s your first mission.” *Omega slowly counts*

“Omega! Count the number of grains of sand in this room!” “Omega slowly counts again*

“You guys suck. Really, I can’t believe I used to date you. You used to be cool, dude.” “Have you met me? I was really cool.” “You’re sexy as fuck, but you’re also a dickhead.”

“Omega, count how many mouths he has!” “Okay.” *was about to count, but Shadow interrupts* “Yeah, exactly! You ain’t got no mouths, bitch!”

“Silver, you know what? You’re a twink. Imma go smoke some weed now.” “How long were you waiting to say that?” “The whole dub, baby!”

“Silver? I’m almost proud of you.” *gasp* “That’s the most proud of me you’ve ever been!”

“Elise. Guess what?” “What?” “I can never die!”

“Now I have all the colors of the rainbow, and I can unleash my true gay power!” *maniacally laughs* “Now everyone’s my boyfriend!”

“I think the power of friendship can bring him back. If we unite as friends.” “I. Will fucking. End you.”

“I remember this worked well when I was trying to summon Animal Crossing for Switch.”

“You guys wanna start a polyamorous marriage?” “Sure!”

“Didn’t you guys feel that? That breeze? It penetrated my heart.” “Sorry, that was me, I farted.”

[wikiangela]

my thoughts as I was watching the episode (didn't feel like doing multiple posts, felt easier to do just one lol):

awww Dean has a dog 😍

Dean trying to make his bed cracked me up ngl

actually it's funny seeing them do such ordinary things lol

this dog is so cute I can't 😩😍😍

"Pie Fest" 😂 "this is my destiny" okay 🤣 so dramatic over pie, but that doesn't surprise me 😂

Sam THANK YOU for mentioning Cas (and Jack) 😭

Idk but I'm kinda loving that Dean's trying to live his life? "If we don't keep living, then all that sacrifice is gonna be for nothing" I mean that's true 🤔 (even though I'd love to see Cas back but not getting my hopes up)

pie in the face lol and Sam's laugh is so great haven't heard that in too long

(this post is gonna be long af 😂 it's been just 5 minutes hah)

"Singer and Kripke" aw cute

vamp-mimes cracks me up every time, even though I saw the sneak peak before 😂 and he's so serious when he says it hahaha

I cannot stress enough how I missed that about Dean

okaaay so vampires. cool.

is that the trenchcoat in the trunk? is it? it looks like it? IS IT? or am I just imagining things??!! I paused and I've been looking at it for like five minutes trying to figure out if it's the trenchcoat wtf (I mean would it even make sense? Cas was taken in that trenchcoat? unless he had a few? And, I mean, he had, right? it's all so blurry in my mind now, I need answers)

Sam, let Dean have fun for once, geez 🙄😂😂😂

I don't remember that girl (Jenny, was it?) (okay, I googled it, and I still don't remember her and what happened with her haha all I know is it was in season 1 so 💁‍♀️)

oh nevermind, she dead now (dead dead) so whatever

as soon as I saw the metal thingy (I'm an English major but somehow I can't remember what it's called in English or in my native language??) I knew what was gonna happen but...

NO DEAN BABY WHYYYYY 😭😭😭 he can't die like that noooooo

he's like, accepting that he's gonna die? omg I'm crying 😭😭😢

I'm literally sobbing right now and how is he dying its only been 20 minutes of the episodes what the fucking fuck how am I supposed to get through 20 more minutes

"don't leave me" omg Sammy 😭😭💔💔💔

"I can't do this alone"

"yes you can't"

"well, I don't want to"

where have I heard that before? 🤔😭😭💔

"I love you so much my baby brother" is that the first time Dean said that to Sam in the show? I'm pretty sure I don't remember him saying that before - and I am crying so hard I can barely see what I'm writing thank God for autocorrect 😅

nooo Dean 💔💔😭 my favorite character since the moment I saw him and now he's dead and I wasn't emotionally prepared for that and how am I supposed to just go about my day later this is the worst why are they doing this I hate how attached I got to this show and the characters FUCK

And my mom called me just as Sam was about to burn Dean's body and I had to pretend like I'm okay. I WANT TO GO BACK TO THIS MORNING BEFORE I DECIDED TO WATCH THE EPISODE FUCK

so Sam's alone now, with the dog

but my question is: What the hell happened to Eileen? weren't they, like, in love? didn't she come back? (I feel like we actually don't know so I'm seriously asking) why isn't she there? wtf if I don't see Cas or Destiel, at least let me see my girl Eileen at the end 😭 and Sam being happy with her

baby's grieving and I cannot stand to see him so sad SOMEONE GIVE HIM A HUG (or me, I could use a hug too 😔)

I physically cannot stand seeing Jared cry - I feel like I'm literally falling apart

WHY IS THIS SO SAD wasn't it enough that we have to say goodbye to the show? couldn't those be happy tears about a happy end? THEY DON'T DESERVE THIS

okay, "agent Bon Jovi" made me chuckle through tears, I LOVE DEAN SO MUCH

lights out in the bunker made me cry even more

DEAN'S IN HEAVEN

BOBBY

OG BOBBY

ARE YOU KIDDING

idjit 😭😭😭😭😭😭 I missed him much more than I expected omg

"that kid of yours" I. am. not. okay.

Jack setting things right, I love it ❤️ thank you for Bobby 😭😭😭

"everyone happy, everyone together" is it everyone though?🙃

"the Heaven you deserve" DAMN RIGHT HE DOES

"CAS HELPED" I CANNOT HANDLE THIS

right now I would just like to take a second to appreciate how fucking hot and handsome and beautiful Jensen is because I needed to pause and calm down a little and focus on something else

and Jensen is fucking gorgeous and Iove his fucking smile and his fucking lips - you know, when I started watching it, for about the first season I had to rewind every time Dean was talking because I couldn't focus on anything but his lips hahaha good times, wish I could forget about this show and watch it all over again and get supper annoyed at everything all over again but I still love this show more than any other even though I've been watching it only for the past 2 years haha

I think I'm good, back to watching:

I don't think I can express how I missed the og Bobby ❤️

AND BABY'S THERE OH YEAH

that smile, Dean/Jensen ugh you're killing me

"Hey Baby" ❤️❤️

CARRY ON MY WAYWARD SOOOON THERE'LL BE PEACE WHEN YOU ARE DONE

AND I JUST STOPPED CRYING AND NOW IT STRTED AGAIN AAGGHCHFJHSH

"love this song" me too, Dean, me too 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭❤️❤️❤️

(wow, too much emojis, bitch, chill)

baby Dean that's too much

and Sam seems so happy 😭😭

but who's the wife, please tell me it's Eileen, I miss her where is she that's not fair

Sam as a dad is just so precious and cute and so fucking great I can't 😭😭❤️❤️ love that for him ❤️

but why aren't there any pics of Cas and Jack? C'mon, Sam 🙄 (I mean, there surely were some pics of them, we know for a fact there was at least that one Cas picture in a cowboy hat so there should me more ugh)

"it's okay, you can go now" why are doing this to me again

I mean, I'm happy that Sam got to live his life to the end and died of natural causes or old age or whatever

brothers togheter again 😭😭

I'm a mess

also, let me just ask, WHERE'S THE ANGEL

WHERE THE FUCK IS CAS

just a cameo at the very end would be great

"and cut" this made me cry again fuck

so that's the end, huh? brothers together again, in Heaven?

well, I choose to believe that at some point they reunited with Cas, too and that's that

overall, it was not what I expected, and I didn't have much hope for destiel but I hoped for some acknowledgment of his confession by Dean or at least a cameo

I mean, he's been one of the main characters for so long and they didn't even have him in the finale? and he was mentioned literally twice?????!?? FUCK YOU WRITERS

so, I didn't love it, but I didn't hate it that much, is was meh, It wasn't a good conclusion to the show and I'll be bitter about Cas till the day I die and I didn't like how Dean died, I mean, he was literally impaled, in my opinion it wasn't "going out in the blaze of glory" like he always wanted

this is a long post, I'm not even gonna reread before posting, but those were my genuine reactions haha

if you read it, wow, I'm so sorry haha

now I need to lie down and cry before I can function again and do my homework so that's fun

I'll see y'all in your notes as I reblog every fucking thing about 15x20 😊👌

just one more thing at the end:

THIS SHOW RUINED ME AND I STILL LOVE IT WHY AM I LIKE THIS

anyway, I'm gonna go cry now hahahaha I'm not okay

I'm gonna live in denial about Cas not being there haha

I hope the rest of the spn family is holding up somehow because I'm losing it and I need some fix it destiel fics asap

okay not gonna make this longer haha

bye, have a good day 🙂👍❤️ (don't mind me, I'm losing my mind)

[quadcitycrossfitter]

What Does a 170 Pound Weight Loss Look Like? Oh, like this.

That. It looks like that. Hot damn! 

I remember way back at the beginning, way back when I started this blog. Way back to the seriously 100+ degree day that I waddled into my CrossFit gym in the dead of August as an absolute last resort to bariatric surgery. Honestly, at that point I was a little bit banking on just going out via massive coronary in a blaze of glory. Hey, at least I tried right? Too dark? In all seriousness, for a long time I never in a million years would have thought I’d get to the point where I’d be comfortable and confident enough to post a fucking picture of myself in a sports bra on the Internet. Yet here we are. 

Also, excuse me, I would just like to say that every woman (or man) everywhere should at any point feel comfortable posting whatever they want, wherever, regardless of anything. Weight does NOT equal a god damn thing when it comes to self-worth or the measure of a person and literally anyone can rock whatever garment (or non-garment, hey!) they want regardless of their outward physical appearance. Also, some people are seriously hot AF being a little heavier, no joke! I just personally cannot pull that off. Please know that if that’s you, rock it! Never feel pressured to look one way or another unless YOU want to. And if you want to, quit whining and get to work already! 

Anyway, the picture above represents someone who is learning self-discipline, and that is what is truly important to me. Yeah, I’m not going to lie that I love the new look (and cute clothes!) and all the health benefits, and being able to just run/row/bike for an infinite amount of time, but the fact that I accomplished this has given me the “crazy” idea that I can accomplish anything. And that is truly at the core of all of this because 99.9% of the time I just do not know what the hell I am even doing... but hey, I lost 170 pounds so I can probably tackle the next thing, right? Fingers crossed!

Also one of the biggest things I learned was that I truly believed at one point that “my life would be perfect” if I could just “be thinner”. The funny thing is, weight has nothing to do with any of that, and losing weight is not a magic life-fixer. In fact, I was introduced to a whole new set of concerns that I didn’t even see coming, but I won’t bore you with all of that! 

Everyone has their own stupid garbage they have to deal with in life, and everyone’s story is a little different. Self-discipline has helped me in coping with my garbage (and bouncing back when things get a little dicey) like nothing else has. Part of self-discipline comes balance though, and that is something I am still learning. Luckily learning is my favorite. 

People ask me how I’ve done this and honestly the best advice I have is to surround yourself with people who are doing what you aspire to, reach out to people who are qualified in whatever it is you are trying to accomplish and learn from them, also always listen to your body. That last one is key because oh boy, oh boy, you will get yourself into a fairly significant jam if you do not. 

In addition to working out and tampering with my diet I really do love writing (hence the blog). I own a small publishing company and since it seems like everyone that loses a ton of weight either gets on Instagram and goes on and on about it (check!), or humblebrags endlessly on Facebook (check!), or writes a blog documenting the entire thing like anyone truly gives a shit (check!), many times they write a book going on and on about it even though they are most certainly not qualified whatsoever to go on and on about it, so, of course I don’t want to miss that opportunity for my sweet, sweet 15 minutes of fame:

No seriously, IT IS AVAILABLE NOW

Please keep in mind this is for entertainment purposes only. I like to think that I’m funny, so if you’ve enjoyed this blog, get ready for more of the same hot trash. By all means if you find motivation in it, or it helps you, awesome. If it pisses you off, come at me bros! ;) I just like writing and sharing it with my friends. If you are reading this, you are my friend. If you buy it, we just became best friends because you are really doing me a solid as I will use those proceeds to go right back into my publishing company to help fund books that are actually serious, and good, and a real contribution to society. ALSO THIS TOOK FUCKING NEARLY 5 YEARS TO DO AND WAS BACKBREAKING WORK.

Thank you again for all your support, and keeping me in check when I needed it. I could not have done this without all the amazing people I get to call friends and family. 

Also, the absolute very best part of this entire ordeal? Exercise is really fun. Like, so fun. Like one of the funnest things ever and that’s something I never want to not have in my life again. For that, I am so very grateful. 

[ourlittlebitofnothinguniverse]

Hey for the ask thing, all the questions you're comfortable with answering

oh boy!!! heck yeah fun shit thanks my dude! little did u Kno…… I LOVE oversharing !!! lmao muahahahahaha i’m probably gonna answer all of them thank u for enabling it lmfao

1. Do you ever doubt the existence of others than you?

yah on Rly Bad days

2. On a scale of 1-5, how afraid of the dark are you?

like… 3.5? i like the dark but,,, ‘m Scare,,,,,

3. The person you would never want to meet?

Orange Turnip

4. What is your favorite word?

it changes tbh,, hm but i can’t think of any rn!

5. If you were a type of tree, what would you be?

i’d be….. a nice oak! thicc and full of secrets

6. When you looked in the mirror this morning what was the first thing you thought?

i didn’t lmao reflection what’s that

7. What shirt are you wearing?

i’m wearing the dress i wore to work

8. What do you label yourself as?

annoying or boring lmao but also the Goblin King and that is Good

9. Bright room or dark room?

i still don’t know if this is referring to like paint shade or like the amount of light it gets or like if i sleep in a bright room or dark room so like??? *shrug emoji*

10. What were you doing at midnight last night?

i was?? drawing i think

12. Who told you they loved you last?

i think it was @wrenn-frug​ 💕💖 lov u fren!

13. Your worst enemy?

dunno man probably myself but that sounds cliche so like??? the sun bc it always burns me

14. What is your current desktop picture?

a screenshot from song of the sea!!! lOVE that movie!!!! i’d post it but like?? i don’t think i have it saved anymore or if i do i don’t feel like looking but it’s that one scene where they’re walking thru the pretty field towards the trees and there’s foxes in the corner and she’s playing the shell it’s so pretty,,,,,

15. Do you like someone?

uh yah my cat

16. The last song you listened to?

Young God - Halseygood song lov it,,,,

17. You can press a button that will make any one person explode. Who would you blow up?

oraNGE TURNIP

18. Who would you really like to just punch in the face?

orange turnip my dude i Hate

19. If anyone could be your slave for a day, who would it be and what would they have to do?

uh nobody ????

20. What is your best physical attribute? (showing said attribute is optional)

my squishy thighs and my fantastic stretch marks (which have taken me YEARS to accept)

21. If you were the opposite sex for one day, what would you look like and what would you do?

No

22. Do you have a secret talent? If yes, what is it?

????????????? secret???? talent?????? lemme check, ,, , , *reaches into a bag* nope bitch empt y aint got No Talent lmao

23. What is one unique thing you’re afraid of?

okay so like this is really dumb and i partially answered this in this ask abt the flushing toilets @ night thing but like to elaborate and make it even more dumb not only am i afraid to flush toilets @ night bc it’s just rly creepy and loud to me (esp if i’ve been asleep) but like,, , sort of in the same vein of fear is that when i was little my older sister told me that there was a ghost in the toilet and if i don’t flush it’ll get me and like i kno it’s not tru but like,,,,,, Sometimes,,,,,, (i must clarify i’m not scared of toilets themselves but like flushing freaks me out sometimes like @ night or if i don’t flush fast enough lmao don’t look @ me i’m a mess)

24. You can only have one kind of sandwich. Every sandwich ingredient known to humankind is at your disposal.

Excuse? is this like that i can ONLY eat this sandwich or is it that this is the only sandwich i can ever eat or like i can only ever have one last sandwich bc honestly i’m Not Okay with any of those scenarios no matter how many ingredients i get for the initial creation

25. You just found $100! How are you going to spend it?

Dream daddy dating simulator lmao uh?? also probably more food for archie bc he is Expensive

26. You just got a free plane ticket to anywhere in the world, but you have to leave immediately. Where are you going to go?

Ireland probably. always wanted to see ireland

27. An angel appears out of Heaven and offers you a lifetime supply of the alcoholic beverage of your choice. “Be brand-specific” it says. Man! What are you gonna say about that? Even if you don’t drink booze there’s something you can figure out… so what’s it gonna be?

“Even if you don’t drink booze there’s something you can figure out” like???? no???? if u don’t drink alcohol why would u want a lifetime supply??? unless i could like…. sell it??? whats the Most Expensive kind i’ll just get an unending supply of heavenly Expensive Alcohol to sell for incredibly inflated prices to the rich bc it’s From Heaven and give the money to the poor bc like,,, why not

28. You discover a beautiful island upon which you may build your own society. You make the rules. What is the first rule you put into place?

bitches gotta keep they damn opinions to themselves if they can’t respect somebody’s life based on factors they can’t help (race, religion, orientation, gender etc) also no money like We Don’t Need It i’m so tired of Needing money

29. What is your favorite expletive?

Fuck bc u can use it in So Many situations

30. Your house is on fire, holy shit! You have just enough time to run in there and grab ONE inanimate object. Don’t worry, your loved ones and pets have already made it out safely. So what’s the one thing you’re going to save from that blazing inferno?

o shit probably the twenty dollar metallic watercolors i got bc shit son??? actually probably like my laptop or smth idk

31. You can erase any horrible experience from your past. What will it be?

my childhood thx

32. You got kicked out of the country for being a time-traveling heathen who sleeps with celebrities and has super-powers. But check out this cool shit… you can move to anywhere else in the world!

this is.. not a questionalthough it is a wonderful scenario

33. The Celestial Gates Of Beyond have opened, much to your surprise because you didn’t think such a thing existed. Death appears. As it turns out, Death is actually a pretty cool entity, and happens to be in a fantastic mood. Death offers to return the friend/family-member/person/etc. of your choice to the living world. Who will you bring back?

none of them bc if the celestial gates of the beyond is real then all the people i’d want to bring back are probably in a Better Place or something and why would i want to drag them to Hell?

34. What was your last dream about?

Cannot remember to save my life altho i kno it was rly weird and convoluted

35. Are you a good….[insert anything you’d like here]?

u did not put anything Here so i will Ignore

36. Have you ever been admitted to the hospital?

Nope

37. Have you ever built a snowman?

yAH it’s fun!

38. What is the color of your socks?

not wearing any

39. What type of music do you like?

A Lot

40. Do you prefer sunrises or sunsets?

Sunsets,,, evening is so nice mm m

41. What is your favorite milkshake flavor?

chocolate ayyyy

43. Do you have any scars?

a couple but like for Dumb Reasons

44. What do you want to be when you graduate?

I’ve graduated hs but i wanna be an animator when i decide which college to go to

45. If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?

my brain pls bartender can i have a Healthy One (correction to favorite word #4: fav word currently is deign)

46. Are you reliable?

i would like to think so

47. If you could ask your future self one question, what would it be?

are you happy?

48. Do you hold grudges?

YAH but only if i’ve been Pushed Too Far which is Pretty Damn Far by most ppls standards

49. If you could breed two animals together to defy the laws of nature, what new animal would you create?

none I am Not a God

50. What is the most unusual conversation you’ve ever had?

i have had So Many???? the most recent one was two times in a row random ppl i barely knew asked me for my netflix account bc they didnt have one and like…. bro what who R U,,,,, (i had literally only talked to the first guy once for ten minutes on fb)

51. Are you a good liar?

is the sky green? don’t think so

52. How long could you go without talking?

Very Long but like Only on Bad Weeks

53. What has been you worst haircut/style?

None my hair is Magnificent (idk)

54. Have you ever baked your own cake?

like birthday cake? never but i lov to bake cakes so like i bake myself cakes all the time

55. Can you do any accents other than your own?

i am so bad @ accents i can’t even Read in my Head in accents even though i know what the accent Should Sound Like

56. What do you like on your toast?

peanut butter and banan slices

57. What is the last thing you drew a picture of?

working on a picture of a tiger redraw

58. What would be you dream car?

a Bike bc i Do Not Like cars

59. Do you sing in the shower? Or do anything unusual in the shower? Explain.

i only sing in the shower when nobody is home (which is infrequent bc my mom is Always here) bc i am self conscious around most ppl but like Music,,,,, also when i was little i would pretend that i was standing in the rain all sad like in movies lmao

60. Do you believe in aliens?

yah

61. Do you often read your horoscope?

i follow an astrology blog and i read homestuck i mean,,

62. What is your favorite letter of the alphabet?

i??? A maybe bc there are a lot of ways to write it pretty idk but like specifically capital A ig

63. Which is cooler: dinosaurs or dragons?

Dragons they’re fire-breathing friends and i love them

64. What do you think about babies?

Gross

65. Freebie! Ask anything interesting you can think of.

U Didn’t put anything Here either so like how abt i give u a random fact abt myself that seems good my favorite bird is the lammergeier bc they’re basically irl dragons and they’re so pretty??? love them??? also i hate monkeys and apes esp chimpanzes bc they are scary and too much like humans to me i don’t like them

BOY that took way longer than i thought bc i had to feed my cat halfway thru and everything and like this is a Long Post sorry guys but ayyyyy this was fun thanks ari

[vestedbeauty]

Midlife Rage: Because That Is Most Definitely NOT William Devane

New Post has been published on https://vestedbeauty.com/midlife-rage-because-that-is-most-definitely-not-william-devane/

Midlife Rage: Because That Is Most Definitely NOT William Devane

Beating this periodic midlife rage thing is going to take some practice. Or bail money.

Ever shock your normally even-tempered and rational self with the realization you’ve become a fire-breathing midlife rage dragon? Damn, I hate when that happens.

But there we were, watching bad sci-fi, my sweet hubby and I.

The bad guy had just revealed his devious plan for… well, I can’t remember what he was up to, really.

“Oh, that’s William Devane,” hubby said.

No. It was most definitely not.

Fight or flight mode hit me hard. Like when I watch a horror film (through the gaps between my hands covering my eyes), I begged myself to be reasonable. Do NOT go into the dark. Don’t do it, girl. You’ll be sorry. This cannot end well. It’s not too late to…

Oh, but go, I did.

“You’re crazy, that’s not him. You always think it’s some other actor than who it is. Can’t you just watch the damned show and not make bold proclamations that are utterly incorrect?”

I went. 

Only in my mind, thank goodness for small wins.

Yup, wearing my annnnngry eyes.

Why So Grumpy?

To be clear:

Do I give a flying hoot about William Devane? No.

About sci-fi filmology? Absolutely not.

About being right? Ooooh. Busted.

And about my sweet hubby’s feelings and the relationship we are so consciously, carefully building? YES. Definitely, absolutely, and emphatically, yes. 

This is the man I chose to marry, not even a year ago. He’s the man I admire, respect, cherish, and enjoy. He’s the one I’ll go from midlife crank to elderly crone with… assuming I don’t push the self-destruct button on this marriage with this ridiculous prickliness. He is kind, brilliant, creative, strong, handsome, funny, sexy, deep, daring, principled, and fun.

Yet for some reason, midlife me sometimes kind of wants to go all Daenerys Targaryen on him (of all people) and scorch his wrong-actor-guessing ass into next week. To be honest, sometimes I let some of the flames loose. Not a full vent, but snappish enough that it’s shocking to both of us. And enough that I feel devastated, shocked, and betrayed by my own midlife-mad self. At this moment, I TOTALLY get Kathy Bates in Fried Green Tomatoes.

Only You Can Prevent Midlife Rage Forest Fires

We’ve talked about this, hubby and I. It’s painful even to remember how I’ve shown up during these crazy-headed scorched earth moments. Of course, he thought it was him, that he’d disappointed me somehow. It’s not him.

I mean, sure, he misidentifies actors. But is that REALLY a scorchable offense?

No way. But I know that if I don’t figure this out, I will torch everything I love, everything I hold dear, everything I’ve worked so hard to create. And that kind of midlife crisis – of my own making – is absolutely not okay.

I’m no stranger to personal development – current midlife bizarreness aside. Though I’ve created a life I love, sometimes something’s not working right in my mind. Maybe it’s hormones, and I’m going to look into that. 

Hormones or not, this is an experience I need to look at and understand so I can be and do better. I want to show up like me, with my normal level of weird rather than this super-sized serving of crazy. It’s definitely not him. That means it’s up to me to figure this out.

A (Not-So) Shocking Discovery about Midlife Rage

Stick with me a sec here.

As an empty nester, it’s been a kick to design my life. Our life. We get up without an alarm because we both work from home and own businesses. Usually, it’s about six or so. 

We eat far more culinarily interesting foods than we ever did when we were raising our families. 

Bedtime is – don’t laugh too hard – literally when our flock of chickens puts themselves to bed, around eight. I read a while, then sleep and get a solid eight hours each night. (I know midlife women often struggle to rack up enough zzzz’s, and someday I’ll tell you how I do it.)

Our house is cleaner than any I’ve ever kept. It helps a whole LOT that we have a wonderful cleaning lady who keeps on top of it all. I putter and clean and tidy up more than ever, but she’s the one who does the real work.

Puttering, in fact, has become a favorite part of my days. It’s therapeutic for me to create and maintain order. It’s also one way I get more movement into my day (I’m super sedentary during my work hours – I’m a writer).

You wouldn’t walk in and go, “WOW, that’s a clean house!” but most days you also wouldn’t run screaming from the mess.

I’ve discovered that I like order. In fact, I thrive in it.

Everything in its place, and a place for everything. 

I’m ruthless about decluttering. As a minimalist, it’s easy to feel suffocated by too much stuff. I’m also not all that fancy. OK, not fancy at all. I despise shopping. So, we don’t have the mountain of stuff many couples have. 

But while I seem to thrive on routine and tidiness, there’s a dark side that shows up in my thoughts. It shows itself in the form of a control freak. That feels like a new one for me.

OMG, I’m Procrustes

So, in Greek mythology, there was a baddie named Procrustes. He was infamous for his bed practices. (Not that kind.) He’d force his victims onto a bed, then either stretch them to fit it perfectly – or cut off any bits that hung over. Nice guy.

Oh. Nice me.

Turns out, I’m cool as long as everything fits my notions about what should be, cool. Same with anything else that might need to sync up.

But if something sticks out – or in, really – into the bubble of my thoughts, especially if I’m concentrating, indulging in story-driven entertainment, or if I’m lost in thought while mulling a work challenge… it’s time to sound the smoke alarm. Danger, Will Robinson!

Unless I notice the warning signs and take action to extinguish the blaze.

Well, Whaddya Know

Here’s what happens when I catch those sparks before they go wild. Something happens. I perceive it. Then I have a thought about it that sure seems to be entirely valid and accurate. Next, there’s a feeling followed by a surge of energy that demands release. 

Are you kidding me? THIS again? This is the same freaky way my brain behaved when I had a binge eating disorder. How on earth do I not have this solved and beat it for good?

Oh. It’s the way the human brain works. OK, fine. At least I’ve got the tools that worked every single time I’ve ever actually bothered to use them.

Rather than fly off the handle (or eat two rows of Oreos while standing over the sink with a glass of cold milk), I can stop for a moment and go:

Hey brain, whatcha doing here?

Oh, you have a thought. Cool. Let’s hear it.

My, that’s an interesting one.

Is there possibly another way to look at this? Or do you really just want to go ahead and do that thing you think you want to do? I mean, you can but make sure you realize you have a choice in this.

That’s kind of the gist of it. It’s a matter of throwing the brake lever on the train long enough to make an intentional choice about what comes next. I’ve been up and down the tracks long enough to know where they head, and how hard it can be to stop that freight train if I reach a certain point.

And really, despite all appearances when I’m in the throes of a temper tantrum, I’m typically a very happy and chill person. I adore my husband and enjoy him thoroughly. It’s a delight to live in my skin, because I’ve chosen it to be that way.

So, if all I need to do in the heat of fury is to take a beat to breathe and choose, that’s pretty doable. That doesn’t mean I’ll always do it, or even remember to do it. But if I choose not to master my own mind and the experiences I create, life’s going to suck… by choice. Sounds worth it to me.

This Is Not Entirely Unfamiliar Territory

I have many, many, many happy memories of my grandparents, and I was blessed to have most of them around well into my 40’s. But I also have memories of incidents that were puzzling at the time – and now make sense – of my grandmother whipping out a dragon of her own. My grandfather would be telling a story. She’d interject corrections throughout. It wasn’t that day, that place, that person, that meal, that… Every single detail of his story was subject to her correction. I always felt bad for him when it would happen, and annoyed with her for creating such an unpleasant situation for everyone witnessing it.

Fast-forward a few decades, and I’m about to flip my shit over not-William-Devane. I am utterly grateful for this bad memory of Grandmommy because it’s like a canary in the coal mine for me. She did her very best, and did so without the world of personal development that I can access with a few clicks. She didn’t have podcasts, blogs, videos or books aplenty to help her sort her grumpy midlife self out.

I do.

And I will.

And if you’re also finding yourself baffled by your own sudden snappish tendencies and sudden midlife rage, maybe we can figure this out together. It might save lives. 

Want to Do this Together? (I promise not to breathe fire on you!)

If you were to examine this blog closely, you’d notice a humongous gap between posts. Before, to be honest, I had in mind to build an affiliate site and nothing more. I had several sites going, covering everything from gifts to health to pet rats to magical uses of marijuana (we’ll talk about that someday if you want). It was exhausting. There was no way to keep up. Shiny object syndrome had me in perpetual busyness, but it was like running on a treadmill – it went nowhere.

Now, there’s another driver. I’m realizing that maybe I don’t have to have this midlife thing sorted out. Let alone the whole midlife rage thing. But, there’s no need to be an authority. No requirement to have all the answers. Instead, I can just document this journey and report back the discoveries back to you.

Pretty much every midlife woman I know has a lot of puzzles to solve. (I’ve adopted that distinction – a very smart guy I work for says, “There are no problems, just puzzles.”) Being an alliteration addict, I’ve got a bunch of M’s that fit here. 

As midlife women, we’re sorting out our:

Mindset

Movement

Metabolism

Mind (like, how it functions)

Marriage

Money

Makeup and hair

Mission (why are you here?)

Meals

And a bunch more, like our kids, grandkids (someday), friends, etc. They don’t fit neatly into those M’s… though I swear I will find a way! (Darnit… Procrustes has ways but let’s not go there!)

Anyhow, if you’re up for taking a wild and all-over-the-place ride with me, let’s do it. I sure can’t promise it’s going to be smooth, consistent, or pretty. But that’s kind of alright, too. We can just show up as-is, be real, and grow together. 

Deal?

P.S. I just showed this post to my sweet hubby. He liked it. Then he muttered, “I still think it was William Devane.” Guess he’s a little pig-headed, too.