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#hey how long do you guys think ill be temporarily blind? like a day maybe?
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het hiw lonh di yiu gyts thimk ill br tempotariky blund? luke a dsy matbe?
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mskimkaty · 4 years
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I AM THAT GIRL
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angst, slight fluff, smut
WARNINGS: MENTIONS OF DEPRESSION, MENTAL ILLNESS, SUICIDE, SELFHARM, DRAMA, SMUT, VANILA SMUT, SWEARING, KIM JENNIE IS A BITCH HERE AND SO OTHER MENTION REAL LIFE PEOPLE BUT ITS PURELY FICTIONAL.
synopsis:Johnny Suh, the most popular boy in college, tried to take his life? what could possibly go wrong with his wealthy background, popularity, and basically having everything in the palm of his hands?
expected word count: 12,692
release date: 01/18/21 (somehow, got deleted. so Im reposting)
details: college!au, strangers to friends to lovers!au.
JohnnySuh x reader.
Johnny Suh walked the hallways in his college ground and not one passerby gives him the freedom to do his business. Students give him a look of pity, as acquaintances try to give him fake words of comfort that disgustingly crawls at the back of his skin.
They were just into the gossip, but they never really care. It was obvious from how they whisper behind his back for looking out of place and out of character, he could see their mocking gazes every time he walks past them.
he pulled his hood up and covered his old blonde hair now dyed into jet black, the usual smile plastered on his lips was now in a tight line and was placed the usually friendly demeanor with a scowl on his face.
people are staring, not in a good way, but because he looks ridiculous in their minds.
"Youngho, if you need anything, I'd gladly do it for you." Johnny heard his Korean name roll of someone's lips and now he feels disgusted with himself for the 9th time that day, he was back to zero and the acid rushes past his throat and he might vomit with the anxiety building up in the pit of his stomach upon hearing his birth name. He halts his movements and turns around to face Kim Jennie.
How does she have the nerve to say that when she cheated on him with Jongin? He treated him like a brother. Her hands travel on his biceps, the usual warmth he felt in the past now buried at the back of his memories, and now, he's just disgusted with her. He ignored her and continued walking past her, Jennie's peers were instantly beside her to console her with words of comfort because her ex-lover practically brushes her off like she was nothing.
You didn't expect a drama unfolding in front of you while standing in your locker area, Christmas break was finally over, and now students are back putting their noses in other people's business. Especially, Johnny Suh's business.
You shrugged your shoulders and walks back to your class, this is definitely a way to start your first day at this University.
Johnny sat at the far back of the room, sporting unusual dark clothing rather than the usual light colors of his wardrobe, the professor walks in, shaking his head upon seeing him at the back completely not understanding how Johnny's mind works.
Johnny knows, just by the look his professor is giving at him, he knew and have seen that twice already — he couldn't control the urge to stand up harshly making the chair he was using falls down to the ground as he walks to the door not bothering to look back, stunning everybody in the room.
When Johnny came back to school after his attempt, he felt more pulled down in the darkest pit inside him, he was unhappy more than he did when he was attempting. The funny part? when people knew about his attempt, people started flocking around him as they cared, but it was obvious. They just wanted to be with him because of his surname and money.
Even Jennie did not differ from the other students trying to impress him. The sad part about it is that he genuinely liked her, but she was just up for it because of the money and fame, and maybe the good fuck. His friends were no different, people might think that he's happy being the captain of the football team, but his life was toxic with every moment. He was in more pain than ever, his friends who were his teammates low-key discarded him thinking he's a freak saying he needed to seek attention.
Johnny knew that they weren't practically saying that to his face, but they were showing it.
They weren't wrong, he knew that, but it was different. They were all trying to impress him, worshiping the ground he walks on and now he's on the rocky side of the road, they drop him? because their parents told them to?
Johnny empties his locker, blindly shoving everything in his duffle bag when his best friend, Kim Jongin, walks inside. He hardly shoved everything inside his bag and harshly closed his locker's door, scowling at the older boy.
"Look, I'm sorry, okay?" he heard him. "This isn't you at all, why are you suddenly changing? Johnny, I already said I'm sorry." that's the ugly fact. People around him are blind enough not to notice the slight changes in him and the little signs that he wasn't mentally stable.
"This isn't an apology. You're asking me to suck it up. It's Different."
Lunch came and Johnny has nowhere to go, not with all the pity looks the student body is giving him, he had a take-out for his meal and had his lunch alone in an empty room. deciding he has no appetite to eat something, he walked out of the building and drove out to Nakamoto Yuta's basement. He's supposed to be dead two weeks before this day, but here he was, seeking for Yuta's dirty business.
"Johnny Suh." Nakamoto Yuta was known for his dirty business around campus, selling overpriced illegal transactions under the table, tattoos, and piercing. "Stop talking like I'm some god. No god would try to kill himself."
"figures."
"I don't understand, how are you still in the university and not behind bars?" Johnny asks after taking a long drag on his blunt.
"This is the only way to have food on the table, and I need to graduate. I rather do these than sell my body."
Sadly enough when Johnny checked his phone, no calls or messages from his parents. As cliche as it sounds, he wants his father to check on him but after seeing him in his room bathed in his blood on the ground, his father drifted more away from him.
When he got home that night, his family was having dinner without him, his younger sister, Yerim, ran up to him and hugged him. "Oppa, where have you been? I've been calling you." his sister was the only purest being for him, and he distances himself around her, he doesn't want him to expose her to things that only he knew.
"Yerim, go to your room." the impersonal voice of their father surrounds the dining area and Yerim flinch. looking up to his eyes before walking away.
Kim Ji hoon walks up to him and looks at him with disdain. "Stop being a disgrace, If you can't act like your invisible. I don't need a disgrace in this house." It wasn't new to Johnny anymore.
His father may not be vocal about it in the past but he knew that his father doesn't want him to breathe the same air he does, if God may allow it, he knows that his father wanted him dead, he wanted his father to acknowledged him, and he did everything, that was when Johnny was kissing up to his reputation of being the good son, ace-ing all his grades, being the captain of the football team, doing unnecessary extracurricular activities for extra points, being the good boyfriend, good friend, good son, and a good brother, but it was all too much for him, he felt that he was borrowing someone's life to the point that he doesn't recognize him anymore.
His father hated him so much that he didn't even give him his last name, and the ugly part about it is that Johnny understood his father because he was the reason his mother died. "You can't even do one thing properly, and now everyone living in this town knows about you killing yourself."
"Are you saying that I didn't properly kill myself?" he wanted to vomit. He chuckled as he ran his hands down his locks. "Go fuck yourself," he murmured and walk down to the guest room where he was temporarily sleeping, his step-mother hasn't asked the helpers to clean his room's carpet that is still bathed in his blood, he looked at his wrist that is covered in a bandage, the ugly reminder that he was unhappy and that there is no saving from this anymore. Finding the reason to wake up was hard enough and going to school was another thing, but he did anyway.
People still gossip behind his back, ugly as it sounds, people are disgustingly twisted. He smirked upon hearing he still looked hot as fuck with black hair, one student saying she would gladly do him, blonde or black.
"Jennie must have cheated knowing that he's a freak."
"hey, he might hear you, lower your voice."
"He needs to seek professional help."
"I don't understand him at all. His popular, his ex-girlfriend was fucking hot, he's rich, has great looks, and has a hella hot of a sister." something snapped inside him when he heard some asshole talked disgustingly about his sister.
Before he could even think properly, Johnny repulsively pushed the guy up to the wall. "The hell!" the stranger shouted as the other students stop to stare.
"Did you fucking talked about my sister like that?"
People are staring not because of an aggressive man pushing a full-grown body against the wall like it's nothing. it's not uncommon to see a fistfight for the entire student body to see, people are staring because, Johnny Suh, for once stunned everybody with his demeanor that is completely out of his character. Yes, he is a big guy, but he was kind, sweet, and friendly, so Johnny using force for the first time against someone was a sight to see, added to the fact that this is the first time people heard him cursing, and If eyes could kill already, the guy who talked shit about his sister is practically dead right now, he would brush it off in the past, blindly ignoring gossip about him but this is the first time that someone disrespects his sister right in front of his face and definitely, it is the first time that he gave less fuck about his reputation.
Johnny stared at the man that lacks the urge to answer him, him sending shivers down the stranger's spine. He manhandled the guy and throw him down the floor. "You had the nerve to run that filthy mouth against my sister but doesn't have the balls to answer when I'm confronting you?" he smirked and walked away.
Johnny spent the whole week going to the university but doesn't bother attending his classes, he doesn't want to be left alone at home but doesn't want to go to his classes. He just lost every motivation to do something productive.
Johnny walked his usual path these past few days, going to an empty room on the 4th floor of the Marketing's building to kill time, he gently pushed open the door and saw you changing your clothes. You were almost done, putting your white dress shirt over your shoulder without noticing that you're giving a stranger a free show.
Johnny freezes up, staring and lingering more than usual. He was mesmerized by how your skin glistens under the light slipping through the windows, but what made him stop on his track is the lack of hair you have in your body. It's just smooth skin all over your body.
When you felt someone behind you, you turn your body around to look at the intruder, you saw someone and instantly locked eyes with him. At first, you were scared of seeing Suh Johnny behind you, Johnny got a full view of your unbuttoned shirt and your chest clad in your undergarments. it's not like you saw a ghost, he didn't die per se, but then it has drawn to you, that Johnny, in the flesh, saw you changing clothes. Your reflex acts up and you turn yourself away from him, pulling your clothes to hug yourself, you fix your buttons as you run out to get out of the embarrassment.
The next day, you went to your usual spot in the library to eat your lunch when you saw somebody sitting on your chair. You shrug your shoulders and sit across the stranger who had his head tucked in his arms on the table. You were excited to eat your favorite sandwich because your mother specially made it for you, it was a rare moment given your mother raised you and your sibling alone, having to work two jobs at a time just to put food on the table and to send you to a good school. You appreciate her and love her with all your heart, she was the only one you had next to your older brother, you were good at being invisible, it was your last semester at the university. Trying to finish one subject and your practicum silently like you didn't exist at all. You laughed at the fact that you had no one in this damn hell, but you didn't care.
You started eating your sandwich in silence while opening a good book to read, you were happy in your bubble. Johnny must have heard you as you flip pages after pages. His stomach growling after registering the wonderful smell coming from his surroundings. When he lifts his head, his eyes flicked to your form, silently eating while reading a book, you were so happy in your little bubble, giggling while reading. He straightens his back and you notice the guy across you, putting a face in the stranger who sleeps across you.
A blush crept up on your face when you realize it was Johnny again, you remembered the recent events that happened between the both of you, and your embarrassed ass started coughing hard, you hold your neck rather than reaching for the bottled water in front of you as you choke none stop in front of him. He was left dumbfounded for a couple of seconds but reach for the bottle and unclasp it before handing it to you, you chugged half the contents down your throat and he watched you with fascination.
"Thank you." You said in a small voice.
You put the bottle back in its place as silence hangs in the air, it wasn't a bad kind of silence, but it was awkward. You offer him the other half of your sandwich as you watch him look at you questioningly. "Your hungry." It wasn't a question. You knew he was hungry given you kept hearing his stomach growling a while ago. "You know a little food won't hurt you right?"
Johnny laughs at your ironic statement but accepts your offer anyway, "Don't get your hopes up, I'm not up for a casual relationship." he says as you thought that he wouldn't accept your offer, given that he's rich and can buy a much better lunch than what you're currently having, but then again, you shouldn't judge a book by its cover.
"I was just offering you food."
"Thanks." When he finished your sandwich rather quickly, he went back to sleeping in front of you. He liked hearing the sound of you flipping pages after pages as you read your book silently in front of him and the occasional giggle you let out when read something funny. When he woke up to go home, you were gone, but you left your coat as you hung it around his shoulders to keep him warm.
When he came back the day after, in the library, you didn't come back.
The next morning, Johnny awoke earlier than usual, heading to his car without giving a glance at his family, Yerim saw him and was rather puzzled at the baby pink coat he was holding delicately in his arms. He drove fast to get to the university, walking inside the library to wait for you if ever you were going to be there again.
Lunch came, and your guess was right, you see the same blacked haired boy taking a nap in your usual spot with your coat right beside him. You sat across him again and started minding your business, but this time, you had another bag of sandwiches repaired for him. You weren't ignorant about Johnny's attempt, but you choose to respect his space, you knew that he wasn't mentally stable yet. He might look fine outside and you might not know what goes inside his head, but you knew that he isn't fine. No one's mentally stable, everybody has their hardships in their private lives going on right now, but the important thing is that people shouldn't use it against someone, and as long as they don't step on other people to feel better for themselves then it's good.
You might not understand what he's going through right now, you weren't friends, to begin with, but you feel for him. Sincerely.
Johnny felt peaceful for once after many years, it was an odd feeling, but it wasn't bad. You were browsing your phone, checking your emails and your mother's, clearing and archiving unimportant ones. You look at the time and it was already half past lunchtime. Wednesday is a pain in the ass for you, you have to wait for 5 hours until your next class in the afternoon. You didn't notice Johnny waking from his nap, seeing as you still haven't touched the sandwich bags in front of you, he's guessing you still haven't eaten.
"I'm Johnny."
You look at the man in front of you, his usual strawberry locks are now turned into black, sporting a gray hoodie over his black shirt and matching gray track pants. You study his expression, his not extending his hands for a handshake nor his face valid of any emotion, yet you smile and said "What happened to not being in a casual relationship?"
Johnny was taken back, you give him the sweetest smile you could offer and handed him the extra sandwich you had, "You know, some people would reply with their names." he said as he accepts the food that you offered, you look at him as if contemplating before speaking.
"Y/n"
"I'm not sure, but what department are you from?" he asked after taking a bite of his food. "This is good, by the way. Who made this?"
"What question do you want me to answer first?" you asked laughing. "My mom made it, and I'm from the same department as you, Though, I just transferred to this school after the Holidays,
If he was shocked he didn't show it, Johnny nods his head as if acknowledging you, "I just want time to pass by quickly and silently, that's why no one knows I exist here. I'm just trying to live another day until I graduate." You said making Johnny fall silent.
"Good for you," he replied after a good minute with the both of you munching on your foods. "Was it hard?" he asked.
"What is?"
"You don't seem to have anyone, do you even have friends?" you laughed at his statement because it was the truth. "Yeah, something like that. It wasn't that bad I might have no friends because I choose not to have any relationships with anybody in here."
"That sucks, I'm not going to ask the reason why you transferred in the middle of the semester because that's your business, not mine," he says, you study his face and you weren't sure whether to run your mouth over his business or not, deciding against it you stood up and take your things with you. "Let me show you something."
Walking down the stairs while both of you kept a little distance, you lead him to the visual room, pulling the keys in your backpack and unlocking it. "Why do you have a key to the AVR?" he asks bewildered.
"Perks of being the teacher's pet," you replied as you pulled him inside, turning the computer and projector on, you played a video about constellations and aimed the projector above.
Stars hover above the two of you and you urge him to lay down beside you, looking up and taking a moment of peace to embrace both of you.
"When things get hard and I tend to be alone; let's be honest, no one wants to feel lonely, especially at the hardest times of our lives. But then, you can't force someone to be there with you physically and emotionally and it sucks to have yourself suck it up for being alone. So, I do this, I take my time staring at these constellations. You see, they're really beautiful to me. I find them fascinating, they have this beautiful meaning behind them, it was always fun finding their patterns, connecting them until they're complete, you just have to look closely, in that way, you'll appreciate them more." you smile while pointing above you, he might not look at you but your presence beside him does him wonders, it was so powerful that even if he closes his eyes, he still feels you beside him. The warmth he was feeling coming from you, your steady breathing, and your sweet scent.
You spent your Mondays and Wednesdays with Johnny, eating lunch together, or spending time as you watch different constellations every week.
Friday morning, you made a quick detour to your department before clocking in for your practicum, before leaving the premises a professor asked you for a favor and you agreed to make a copy of the files she was asking for. When you came back from the printing room, you saw a commotion ahead. It wasn't you to pry on other people's business, but your legs must have their mind when you saw a familiar tall build that is clad in a black hoodie.
Johnny Suh stands in the middle with Kim Jongin and Kim Jennie on the other side. He was hyperventilating.
"Just leave, please." Kim Jongin shouted at him, you can see the obvious horror written on everyone's faces. Kim Jennie was stuck beside Jongin as she shed tears silently, disbelief written in Johnny's face.
"Do you know what went wrong? it's because you were never enough." Jennie drops the bomb for everyone to hear, Johnny was livid. If he could crush everything that he could see he would take the chance and do it. If he could take his life again, he wouldn't give a single fuck and he'll gladly do it.
"I can't believe you both. I wasn't the one who cheated with my best friend, why the fuck do you act like it's my fault?" you heard Johnny said and for the first time your heart broke for him.
You found him in your usual spot in the library, his head hanging low and his body shaking as he tries to catch his breath. You drop your coat over his head and give him the bottle of water you were holding, instead of sitting across him, you sat next to him without overstepping and respecting his space to cool down.
When he started to calm down, he handed your coat back to you, stood up, and left the library. Saying you were dumbfounded was an understatement but you choose to understand him.
Days passed by and Johnny was still a no show. When a week has already passed without seeing Johnny, you started to get worried. You wished you asked for his number, but then again, you weren't even that close, to begin with. You decide to spend your long-vacant in the visual room, playing random constellations as you think about a certain boy.
When that certain boy suddenly appeared right in front of you. "I'm sorry." He had his hands inside his grey sweatpants.
"What matters is that you came."
Johnny joined you on the floor, staring up at the ceiling, after a moment of silence, he spoke up. "Why did you help me? why do you even care about me at all? I'm a mess."
"Aren't we friends?" You asked even though it was clear that he turned your offer of friendship down a while ago.
"What you said about the constellations earlier made me realize how I took myself for granted and at the same time how ungrateful I am."
You look at him and give him the chance to speak up. "I didn't have the will to live, do you know that you are annoyingly optimistic about everything?" He jokingly asked, and you laughed with him.
"Is that a compliment or what?"
"I still don't have a reason to be here." He suddenly says. Johnny looks at your face as if reading you, he was prepared to see you pitying him but there was none.
"You don't have to look for it. You have yourself because, at the end of the day, you only got your own back," you turn to him as you give him a look. Johnny envied you, it was obvious, and you can read him like an open book. "Don't, don't look at me like that, Johnny Suh." the way his name rolled down your tongue felt flawless, as if you were born to say his name out loud.
"We all have our shortcomings, I'm not perfect nor are people around me, no one is, and we have to accept that fact, give less care about people who can't accept that."
"It's not as easy as it seems," Johnny says, your hand brushing back the stray hair that falls on his forehead as if your hand has a mind of its own. "Sorry-"
"It's fine. I like it." Both of you turn towards the ceiling as you continue to watch the stars, keeping the comfortable silence and just hang around each other.
For weeks, spending time in the library and the visual room to watch the stars has been your thing with Johnny Suh, you couldn't even imagine being friends with the likes of him, you view him as a constellation star, he's mysterious behind his disguise as he tends to fool everyone with, he was hard to reach and was always up above you, he brightens the surroundings like how the stars brighten the night sky, for you, he was more than the famous campus boy that everybody likes, even if he can't realize that.
Weeks passed by and you look forward to your Mondays and Wednesdays than the fact that you are graduating.
You were busy transferring your books to your backpack as you stand in front of your locker when Johnny came to you. "I didn't know we have the same classes."
You were stunned when you saw him talking to you in the open, students started looking in your way as if seeing a history. The most known guy in the University is with a nobody, but you shrugged it anyway as you closed your locker's door. You bite back at your tongue with all the attention you were getting, anxiety creeping out to you but you choose to ignore it.
"You weren't even attending your classes," you told him as you fix your backpack, the both of you started walking, keeping the same slow pace and taking your time.
"Well, I now have a reason, at least," he says as he grabs the strap of your bag and slings it in his shoulder. You ignore the bubbly feeling inside you and continued walking. Smiling at yourself as you forget about the stares around you.
"You're so cheesy, Suh Johnny." You giggled at him and for the first time, you saw a genuine smile creeping on his face.
When Lunch came, both of you sat outside to enjoy the sunny weather. "I'm going to start my Practicum next week," Johnny told you suddenly, and you stood up so fast to walk around the table to hug him.
"I'm so glad!" the sincere happiness is written on your face that even Johnny laughs with you.
"Thanks to you, I feel like, there's more to it than ending my life at the age of 21," he says and you shake your head at him.
"No, I didn't do anything. It's mostly you. I'm just here beside you to guide you, but it's your own will."
"I'll be honest with you, hurting myself still runs on my head but the difference this time is, I'm scared to do it." you didn't know what to reply to that so you just extend your hands towards his and hold it firmly in your grasp.
The rest of your day went ahead without you noticing, time flies by rather quickly when you are with Johnny. You stood waiting for your bus to arrive when a black Audi stops in front of you. Its windows rolling down and you see Johnny peeking through the window to smile at you.
"You want to wait for your bus or be logical and save time?" you laugh at his way of asking you for a ride but walk towards the passenger to join him in his car otherwise. The car ride was rather chaotic, you were debating about what to put first, milk or cereal, and you felt the horrors when Johnny says he puts milk in first. He was laughing like a child at how horrified you look.
"Anything's fine with me. I put whatever in first," he says after a long minute of arguing.
"I'm telling you, not to live like that!" you argue back. "Cereal comes first and then milk goes in, just imagine, do you pour the soap first before the water? it's water before the soap!" you explained and he laughs at how rilled up you get.
The argument was cut off when you arrived at your house. Johnny parked his car in front of your house and for some reason, your mother came in wearing an apron over her clothes. She raises an eyebrow at the unknown car blocking her driveway and you look at Johnny who looks back at you.
"Your mother is intimidating." He says.
"Want to come over for dinner?" you ask, and It took him a second before responding, " You think that's a good idea?"
"Come on, Mr. Suh, grow some balls, it's just my mom." Johnny looks offended at your statement.
"I have balls that girls flock around with," he retorted. You sigh and open the passenger seat greeting your mom with a smile as you ran to hug her.
"Can my friend stay for dinner?" you asked after hugging her. Johnny is behind you as he introduced himself as your friend and your mother shocked him by giving him a warm hug.
"There's still room for another boy in my house, I believe, it's no problem." Your mother stated as Johnny gives you a confused glance. Your mother invited him in and you welcomed him.
Inside, your older brother, Taeil is strumming his guitar with three other guys in the living room. "Oh, This is my Brother, Taeil." you casually said at him as you hung both of your jackets.
"You didn't tell me you have a brother." He whispered at you, standing awkwardly beside you. Taeil waved at him and you push him to sit beside Jaehyun.
"This is Jaehyun, Doyoung, and Ten. They're all bandmates during high school so they're always here for my brother," you explained. "And your mother's cooking." Ten added.
"Well, now you know," You said as you turn to him. "Let me just go to my room and freshen up real quick, just make yourself feel at home," you say as you back up on your track. "Cool."
Johnny didn't feel out of place for some reason, he was really happy that he got to meet your brother and his bandmates, they were cool to be around. They entertained him and ask what were his hobbies are and for the first time, he took his time to think about what he likes to do. He likes to draw.
When dinner was served, all the boys helped your mother to set up the table, Johnny was persistent in helping even after telling him to sit and wait because he was a guest. You let him help otherwise.
Dinner was well spent, he enjoyed talking with everyone and your mother even asks him to visit anytime he wants. Taeil takes a liking to him, asking him to hang out whenever he's free. Johnny presented to do the dishes and you helped him when he was done his shirt was a total mess because of the water splashing through the faucet, a good thing is that your brother has some clothes that are way oversized for him, and he lets Johnny use them.
You handed him the shirt, accidentally seeing a huge bruise on his chest and stomach, before you knew it, you stop him as he was about to put his shirt on. "What happened?"
His bruises must have slipped his mind and he mentally cursed himself at it. You were horrified. "Johnny, are you getting beat up?"
"I don't want to talk about this," he pulled his shirt down "Y/n, It's getting late. I should head home now. Thank you for dinner, I enjoyed it." and before you know it, Suh Johnny was gone.
Weeks passed by and Johnny was a complete no show. Faint rays of the sun trickled down through your curtains and fell on your room's marbled floor, you look up at your window and were blinded by the light, sitting up, you let your feet hovered on your marbled floors and mentally prepare yourself for the day.
In the office, your instructor asked you to copy some files and you gladly agreed to do it as you don't have much going on for the time being. You thought that it was hard doing your practicum, but all you did at the office was run errands evolving the x-ray machine. Your mind drifted back to Johnny, you'll have to talk to him. Being worried about him is already killing you and the last time you saw him was three weeks ago.
Wednesday came and you sat at your usual spot in the library, studying for the upcoming exams as you patiently wait for the tall black-haired guy. You forced yourself to do some actual studying but for some reason, all you can think about was Suh Johnny who didn't even show up.
The week passed by in a blur and on Thursday you went to your University to take the exam, you were scheduled for the second batch, and instead of your usual schedule of Wednesday, your professor divided your class into two batches.
You weren't even aware that your exams already finished as you were walking to your locker to put away some books.
You understood that Johnny had issues and you hated that you can't do anything to help him. You would do anything for him if that means for the comfort inside him and his peace of mind. You might not know the reason for his depression but everyone has a reason and you know that everybody around you has some issues going on in their private lives. You look around, seeing other students do their thing, minding their own business, some are even bored and waiting for their exams, You saw Jennie and Jongin together looking at you with disgusted faces that you shrugged off.
Johnny saw you as you mindlessly walk your way to the visual room, and he followed behind you silently, as he looks over his ex-girlfriend and ex-best friend. He realized he never really had a connection with Jennie before, they were both just into the sex, and then it gets awkward when they started to talk.
You were already done setting the projector up, walking in the center to lay down when you heard someone entered, and when you saw Johnny at the entrance of the room, his hands on his sweatpants pocket as he gives you a look, you stood up and ran to give him a big hug. You shed tears for him, as you give him a tight hug.
"Why are you crying?" he asked.
"Aren't we friends?" You asked him as you hold him in your arms. "Friends share their pains. So, I'll be here. I just want you to know that I'll be here when you needed someone to be there with you." Johnny fought his tears but who was he kidding? He yearns for someone's affection and not because of who he was but because it was him. And this time, he finally had someone to share his pains with. People already viewed him as someone going on a phase, probably someone rebelling against his parents but Johnny was more than that. He didn't care about it, though. He learned to give less fuck about insignificant people around him.
"My father used to beat me up, Football was just an excuse to cover up these bruises." He admitted. He was disgusted and embarrassed about it. But it was you, and he knows that you're not one to judge someone based off on their appearances.
You shed more tears for him. "Johnny, You don't deserve that, no one deserves that," you say caressing his cheeks. You hated the cheesy statement but you ignore it anyway, what you were feeling at the moment isn't important. Johnny was opening up to you.
The two of you manage to have time off from the university and Practicum. (Johnny started his practicum last, last week, that's why he was MIA most of the time, that time.) Johnny was hanging out at your house, the problem was, your mother and brother are both at work, so you take it to yourself that being alone with him, at your house, is inappropriate. You drag him outside, leading the way to one of your favorite diners.
"I am telling you, you're going to regret that," you said.
"What's wrong with what I ordered?" Johnny did this little thing in his nose, and you take a moment to look at him as you smile at him. You ignore the stares around you, feeling like a sore thumb sticking and obviously, out of place. Johnny scowl at the man who was drunk out of his wits, shamelessly checking you out. This wasn't the first time, this always happened, but not to you though. You told him to ignore it, that man was probably in here to order a cup of coffee.
"Their chicken and waffles here are the best! I'm telling you, I'm not going to share with you."
One pout of his lips towards you and you were switching your plates towards Johnny. You told him, only because this was the first time that he got to try out your favorite dish, and there won't be a second chance in the future. Johnny was kind enough to share a piece of waffle with you. But not the chicken, though. He fell head over heels for it.
Bit by bit, Johnny's walls crumbled down around you, and before you knew it, both of you are inseparable. Johnny dating you spread like wildfire around campus, but there wasn't any truth behind that gossip, you were just a friend. Simple as that.
He was hanging more lately with your brother than you expected. Both of them have the same interest, so it wasn't a surprise when Johnny befriended most of your brother's friends.
Johnny was going on about how Jaehyun's a chill guy, Mark, and Donghyuck introducing him to play games, even Yuta, the University's drug dealer, as they brand him, was included in Taeil's group of friends.
"You didn't tell me that you knew Nakamoto Yuta," Johnny whispered behind you.
"Yeah, For some reason, I didn't want to get involved with most of them. Some girls are crazy about them and I just want peacefulness as I end my college years." You answered. Yuta was from the same department, Jaehyun was from the same university but was taking a different course, as well as Doyounga and Taeyong. Mark and Haechan still need a year before attending college. Ten was studying arts and your brother was a college dropout.
You were having pizza night at your house, your mother was kind enough to accommodate a bunch of men in her tiny house, seemingly impossible to fit 13 men inside, but it did. Instead of the usual party that frat houses and rich kids throw around, Taeil and the others like to keep it to themselves. Sharing one shot glass and downing a cheap rum as everybody waits for their turn. Most of them didn't think that Johnny would be fine with this kind of setup. Besides, he was branded as the campus king and a rich heir at that. He could spend Friday nights at some high-end bar and drink expensive alcohol. But no, instead, here he was, sitting on the cheap carpet your mother owns with a bunch of drunk men but you were glad that your brother is such a nice guy and so are his peers.
Johnny was glad, that he found true people, who accepts him for who he is and not because of who he was.
Doyoung placed you on the empty sofa, you have a low tolerance for alcohol, and you can't keep up with them anymore. The cheapest drink Taeyong bought isn't of cheap quality, you knew better than to judge a bottle chosen by him. You watch them with heavy eyelids, smiling at yourself, Mark and Donghyuck made fun of you by putting thick blankets around you and this was the first time Johnny saw you annoyed by the younger boys.
When Morning came, you were already on your bed as your head pounds. When you came downstairs to leave for school you look around and saw that last night's trace was gone as if 13 grown men didn't make a mess out of your mother's living room.
You wished you had gotten a coffee first when you entered your room way too early and saw that most of the students are yet to arrive, even water would be good, anything liquid down your throat would be good.
You saw Jaehyun and Johnny bidding farewells at the front of the room, students who were present to see the two interacting were shocked, for them, It was rare to see Johnny without his usual crew. But, who are they to decide that for Johnny? It was a rare sight to see, A popular music major and the famous ex-football captain, together?
When Johnny approached his spot beside you, he gives you the cold Iced latte he was holding fresh from Starbucks, completely ignoring unwanted stares behind his back.
"Good Morning," there was a warm aura surrounding him as he settled down beside you, and you look at him in awe. "What?" he asks.
You watched him for a moment, smiling at him as he looks at you questionably. "You're happy," you stated making Johnny pause for a second to think, he was sporting a baby pink hoodie and grey Nike pants, holding his Earpods and Macbook at the other hand. "I think I might be getting there."
Your heart swells up for him and as you fought back the tears that wanted to fall. Johnny reached out to you, wiping the strands of hair that keep falling on your face. "Sorry," you said. People might think that yesterday, Johnny was trying to end his life, and then suddenly, he was okay, because he never was, and you continuously walk on a thin thread around him, Johnny is like a ticking bomb and porcelain that needs to be handled with the utmost care. Five months ago, Johnny doesn't have the motivation to continue living his life, but here he was thriving to know what tomorrow can offer him.
For Johnny, meeting you was his saving grace, problems might fill up in his life, there is this constant reminder that society will always judge him the minute he does something wrong, there is his father, his stepmother who doesn't really pay attention to him, his old life and old self constantly reminding him the pain of the past.
"What happened to your eyes?" there were dark circles under his eyes and for a moment you thought that he has a lot in his mind to think about for the lack of sleep.
"I stayed up till dawn playing overwatch with Donghyuck and Mark last night." He says smiling.
"I'm glad your settling with the boys all right." Johnny watched you, how your long hair flow past your shoulders through your back, he loves the little freckles dancing all over your cheeks naturally and how a touch of pink creeps in your cheeks naturally because of the humid air.
You were really glad. "Do you want to go with me and Ten?" He asks you when your classes ended for the morning, both of you walked to the library to hide from prying and malicious eyes. "He wants to hang out in the nearest coffee shop." he continued and you agreed to go with him, making a turn for the exit.
Johnny ordered an Americano for him and a latte for you, eating the packed lunch your mother made for you and Johnny as you wait for Ten.
Ten arrived with Jaehyun in tow, placing their bags down Jaehyun took the seat beside you while Ten walked to the counter to order their drinks. Johnny looked at you and Jaehyun but ignore the malice running in his head.
"Kim Yerim!" the three of you looked at the entrance to see Johnny's sister entering the cafe, Yerim waved at someone across their table and saw his sister's friend Park Sooyoung waving frantically. Johnny turned to look at you and Jaehyun ignoring his sister who started walking inside, "What happened to you?" he asks Jaehyun,
"Why?"
"You're turning really red." Johnny pointed out and you snickered at Jaehyun who turns to look at Johnny's sister absentmindedly. "Man, That's my sister!" Johnny whispered-shout at him as he fought the urge to laugh at Jaehyun. Someone definitely has a crush on his little sister.
You and Johnny eyed each other, laughing as you both understood telepathically. "What's so funny?" Ten asks when he arrived and the both of you laughed loudly this time.
"Hyung!" Jaehyun shouted at him his ears turning red.
When Johnny got home, he locked himself up in his room that his step-mother finally asked to clean. He was busy waiting for Donghyuck and Mark to play when he heard a knock on his door.
"Can I come in?" His step-mother asked. Yerim's mother is a great person, but that doesn't really mean that she's a good mother to both him and Yerim, he can't really judge her though, she's still young and living her dreams but then his father got her pregnant with Yerim and then here she is stuck at this hell of a household, all three of them under the strings of his father.
"Yes." He says.
Kim Ah-Jong walked inside, placing a warm cup of milk beside him for the first time, "Johnny," She started as he settled at the edge of Johnny's bed facing him. Johnny turns his chair to face her too, holding the warm mug in his hand to seek comfort in this awkward setting.
"I don't know how to start, but I just wanted to say that I'm really sorry," she paused for a second, ignoring the lump in her throat, "I hope you forgive me for replacing your mother's position, and that I'm really grateful because you love your sister more than anything even though you didn't have the same mother."
"It's the least that I could do." He says.
"Yes, I know, and I'm sorry if I failed you as a mother, I was busy finding myself to the point you and Yerim grow up without the right amount of affection from us. We're such horrible parents and I wanted to say sorry on behalf of your father. You don't deserve this, no one else did."
That night, Johnny slept soundly in his own home for the first time in a while.
Yerim was shocked to see her mom attending to his brother, it's as if she suddenly had a change of heart and finally started to be a mother to his brother. Her father was another problem, he still hasn't moved on from his son's attempt. Spitting atrocious words early in the morning making Johnny regret even joining the breakfast.
Kim Ah-jong had enough of his husband's wrath, it was still morning and his husband is starting to get on her nerves. She stabs her bread knife on their table as she turns her head towards him, "Is still early in the morning for the love of God, Kim Ji Hoon. Must you really ruin our morning?" she says.
Both Yerim and Johnny were stunned at her, their father shutting up in instant at the fear her wife would stab her.
Johnny and Yerim drive to the University that day together, "Oh, do you mind if we stop by at my friend's house? I promise to pick him up." Johnny asks and Yerim nodded.
Johnny smirked, he was excited to see Jaehyun's reaction.
Johnny pulled up in front of Jaehyun's apartment, sending him a message the was up in front of his building, after a minute, Jaehyun emerges from the entrance of the building running to get to his car with a tumbler in his other hand.
Johnny pulled the window down and Jaehyun saw Yerim first, he stopped midway, flustered that a girl was with his young, and It was no other than his sister. he played it cool and sat at the back.
"Oh, Yerim-ah, this is Jaehyun. He's my friend."
Jaehyun didn't expect her to turn around and bow her head down. "Thank you so much for taking good care of my brother."
Johnny became flustered with Yerim but laughed it off instead. Jaehyun bowed his head towards her saying it was nothing. Yerim was unaware of the looks she was getting from the older boy sitting at the back seat of his brother's car as Johnny keeps throwing playful glances at the back while he drove them to the school.
Graduation was already nearing, both you and Johnny were already finished with your practicum, Johnny was moving boxes towards his car, for some reason, his father allowed him to have his own flat, his step-mother saying that it would be the best for him and his mental health to have some space between them and that they should give him some time and space. His father was adamant at first but has nothing to do in the end.
"Just let him do what he wants, He's already graduating, with honors! He already did everything you wanted it's the least you could do for him." he heard his step-mother argue a while ago with his father. Johnny still had to go home every Sunday at the main house, though.
You and Taeil volunteered to help him with his moving and he was glad, to say the least. Yerim contacted you to do his groceries for him and the two of you left the older boys as you went to the market with Yerim.
Yerim was a cool young woman, she was matured for her own age, you learned that she was very frank at what she wants and that she loves her brother so much.
"I'm really glad my brother meet you," she says as she links her right arms with you, you were both walking to the parking lot, and you smiled at her blushing.
"Honestly, I never really liked his old friends. Jongin? Nope. Chanyeol? He's an asshole. Everyone in that damn team is an ass except for Sehun," she says as both of you entered the market, pulling a big cart in the process, and continued walking ahead. "You and your brother are surrounded by good people. Do you know that? And I'm kind of jealous of you, not that I don't have good friends, I do."
"Well, consider me someone you can be with so those good people will surround you too," you said smiling, Yerim giggled at you.
It took Johnny a week before really settling down in his apartment, he invited the guys over to have a small welcoming party, drinking and playing till the sun rises.
Johnny was busy typing at his laptop as you were both doing your last requirement for college, papers, and documents were all scattered around his living room when he turns his head to look at you. "Are you comfortable with those jeans?" He asks.
You look at your pants, it is uncomfortable.
"I don't have extra clothes," Johnny poked at his cheeks with his tongue, he stood up and went inside his room, when he came back he was holding clean boxer shorts. "You can use this if you want," he says as he extends his arms to you. You gladly took it and went to his bathroom to change.
Johnny thinks this was more dangerous than when he had blood oozing out of his wrist, you had your toned legs on display for him, and only him. It wasn't helping at all. Without knowing, he stared at your legs for a good minute, the urge of having his hands run along the lines of your thighs was becoming unbearable. He was amazed by the lack of hair you had around your arms and legs, was it liked that too with the parts your clothes have covered? He can't help the wild imaginations running around his head with the things he wants to do to you.
Johnny focused his attention back on the screen of his laptop. What the fuck is he even thinking? It's you, his fucking angel. How dare he have dirty thoughts about you. He mentally slaps himself and went back to typing.
You noticed Johnny having a mental crisis because of you and you silently laugh at him, extending your legs further to have your skin touch his thighs.
after hours of being productive with your work, You and Johnny decided to call it a night.
After a week of preparations for the upcoming finals, you and Johnny decided to meet up, the waiter placed both of your orders in front of you and Johnny, who give the waiter a small smile while uttering a quick "Thank you." You eyed Jhonny's food who looks somewhat more delicious than your Pesto Pasta. You don't even know why you ordered it, you never even tasted it before, you just want to— maybe, impress the guy in front of your table who were giving you obvious looks about the taste pallet you had which is definitely of a 13 Years old.
Johnny gives you a look while shaking his head, knowing all too well that you wanted a bite of it. Looking at you who's eyeing his barbeque bacon burger with fries on the side— It's usually what the two of you order and he was shocked that you ordered something out of the ordinary. He knew that you weren't the type of girl to go out of your comfort zone. You like what you usually eat, what you usually drink, and what type of clothing you usually wear. You are a very simple, young woman. You don't usually try things out of the blue, especially, when the two of you are both hungry.
Instantly, Johnny switched both plates. Giving you his food whilst saying a silent goodbye to the famous BBQ burger that he craves so much after winning a football game, which, he deserves. "What are you doing?" you asked shocked. You already saw him digging in and wincing at the taste. "Why the fuck would you even order this thing?" he asked.
You looked at the guy at the other table. You both were giving silent glances, he's good-looking and obviously from another school but you don't do other schools, that is the thing, you'd rather date someone from the same school, same department or same village. You don't like the hassle. People can go ahead and say your such a basic bitch, which in fact, you are. You finally give your full attention to Johnny who looks at his back to find some guy obviously ogling your face. That was the scariest thing in the world for him, guys ogling your face rather than your body, honestly, it was obvious from guys falling for your body— they just want to get in your pants, but guys who fall for your beauty is different.
You start digging in with your food. "This is the reason why I love you so much." You stated giving your burger a bite.
"Why would you even want to eat this." He says. You give him a chuckle as you extend your right arm towards him, offering him a bite of your burger, which he gladly took. "I'm sorry, I'm such a pain in the ass." You said.
"I kidnapped you in your after party and I'm so sorry, I didn't know Jennie's going to be there, and now you're eating something you don't even like. Man, you don't deserve this." You continued. Sincerely saying sorry towards him— picking a fry and dipping it on the ketchup provided at the side of your plate.
For some reason, Things work out for him and the team, It was going to be his last year playing, and the higher-ups decided for him to lead the team again, making Jongin lose face around the campus. It wasn't like before, It was expected, Johnny was just professional around them, leading them at the court and out of sight, after.
"What? No way. This is what I deserve. A peaceful dinner and finally having time with you." He says after biting at the toasted bread the pasta has. It was true though, Johnny was talking with Jennie again, well, but not exactly dating her, as students would say around campus. They dated, but that was that, he can't even imagine being good friends with someone who cheated on him, he was just being civil with her, ending things with a good note and leaving the better past behind him, and you haven't really had the chance to hang out together since their coach intensified their training hours and days, and right after that Johnny would hang out with your brother and the other guys.
"What did my brother say, though? with you being with me tonight? You guys are basically dating each other by now," you joked.
"Yeah, he's cool with it. Don't worry, I told him about our meeting before you actually kidnapped me." He gives you a smirk and you give him a confused look. "I was actually going to ask you for a dinner with me after the game." You rolled your eyes at him.
"Wow." You commented. You were practically like a twin at this rate. "Can I ask you something, though?" Johnny didn't know whether to ask because he was curious or just wait for you to open up to him, for some reason, Johnny felt naked around you. You knew everything about him, you have him wrapped around your pretty little fingers "What if I don't want to?" You countered and he scoffed.
"What was the reason you transferred? you only had a year to finish before graduating," Your face fell and he instantly saw how your face contorted into a frown. "Why are you making that face?" he asked.
"I had a bad break up to the point that I was destroying myself." You finally said like it was nothing. Johnny stopped everything that he's doing, giving you a look as if asking why. He felt like an idiot. How can he? at your worst time? "I'm such a horrible friend." He says.
"It's not your fault, and I'm even sorry that I didn't tell you sooner." You said quietly. Suddenly your favorite dish from the dinner doesn't look appealing anymore. "And I wanted time for myself, you know, he cheated on me."
the clicking of utensils can be heard throughout the diner when he dropped them to the table. He was fuming mad.
"It wasn't anyone's fault, though. if anything. It was mine. I lost interest in our relationship, didn't have time for him, and just lost everything along the way." You said while moving your plate towards him which he gladly took, abandoning the pasta you ordered and eating the half of the burger you had. But the real reason was, you can't stop comparing your ex-boyfriend to him.
"Still isn't a reason to cheat on you." He says after taking a bite. You move your lemonade in front of you and lazily sip on it. He drops the topic knowing all too well that you don't want to talk about it. Still, he felt guilty for some reason, What could go wrong?
Right, Johnny Suh is starting to have feelings for you, and definitely not in a platonic way.
And you don't have any idea about it.
He opened your bag that was beside him and fetch the wet wipes that were inside. He opened it and out of habit cleaned your fingers with it. And you let him, smiling. "I wished I meet you sooner," He looked at you and smiled. "I'm really sorry I haven't been with you for the last 21 years." you joked as you let him dry your fingers with a dry napkin that the diner provides.
You were about to head out— fetching the car keys that you placed on the bowl beside the main door when you hear a familiar honk outside your house. Your hands slip past your keys and you walk the small distance to your door, opening it the cold air of December heats your face and Johnny greeted you with his usual beam on his face, his left hand stretched up outside his window, giving you a wave.
You smiled to yourself, biding your mom a quick goodbye and you were off to school with your best friend.
"Good Morning." He greeted you when you opened the door of his black Audi.
"Good Morning, indeed." You said facing him after securing yourself with the seat belt. There was a tint of pink in Johnny's checks that you choose to ignore.
Pulling up at the parking lot in front of the university's main building where a lot of students lingered chatting with their circle of friends— Johnny smoothly maneuvered and parked at his usual spot.
You both get out of his car and started to walk to the building.
"See you at lunch?" he asked when you neared your classroom— you were slightly shocked. "Won't you be eating with Yerim today?" you asked as you stopped in your tracks facing him. "Doesn't have to." He simply replied and you nod your head. "She'll be mad, John." You said as a matter of fact— facing him while slowly backing away as he marly give you a shrug. "She doesn't have the right, though." you rolled your eyes at him "Just ask her to eat with us!"
Graduation was nearing and you've been offered a job at one of the top companies in the city, you didn't have the reason to turn them down so you accept and were set to sign the contract right after having your diploma.
This calls for a celebration, though.
When Johnny heard that he was the first one to know about something significant in his life, he was delighted.
You found yourself getting tipsy with the cheap booze in front of you and Johnny. You were laughing at something he said about his sister, holding the cheap beer in your hand as you chug the contents down your through. "Okay, That's enough," Johnny said whilst grabbing the cans of beer and putting them back at his refrigerator. You pout back at him but don't argue, you still have to attend your classes tomorrow morning and you don't want to miss anything for the last weeks you have for being a college student.
Johnny tucked you in his bed and you bid the sweetest goodnight on him, he leaves a sweet kiss on your forehead before heading for the couch in the living room to sleep on, since he had no energy to actually drive you home.
You woke up that night, feeling rather hot, unconsciously stripping out of your pants and bra out of habit, you walked to the kitchen for some water.
Walking with blurred vision, you find your way into the kitchen. The lights were dim as you passed by the living room completely ignoring the fact that Johnny could definitely walk on you wearing only your white tee and undies.
You helped yourself around the kitchen, rummaging in the refrigerator for a jar of water, your hands felt the cold lid of the jar, popping it open and chugging the contents down. You giggled after realizing that you should probably use glass and act like a lady for once since you're not in your own place.
You hissed as you struggle, reaching for a glass in the cupboard. "Just why is it placed so fucking high?" you asked yourself. A hand reached for the glass and you turned around, shocked and ready to pounce the person behind you.
you came face to face with Johnny. His face, only inches away from you. His hands find their way to your waist as he looked at you and the glass in his hands, he purred his self some water in the glass and chugged the whole content down.
"I got thirsty," he said. You moved beside so you don't disturb him, stepping at least five steps away.
He looked you up and down, the smell of booze around, is strong, it almost made you gag. Feeling the cold air between your legs, you looked at yourself. "Fuck." realizing that you were only wearing your white t-shirt; that you probably owned since 7th grade— Your breast was obvious that even your nipples were prominent, your shirt just hanging before your hip bone and then your undies.
You mentally slap yourself. He put the glass down and you put your hair in front to at least cover your hardening nipples away from him. Chills run down your spine as he took another step forward, clearing the distance between you.
"Hey-" he cut you off.
"Johnny," he says.
"What?" you asked, barely whispering. Your eyes moved down on their own, from his eyes down to his upper body, he was shirtless, giving you free access to his perfectly sculpted body, his pelvis, so sharp even a God couldn't compare. Again, you felt the burning sensation coming back in your throat. You touched your neck instantly as you tried to swallow.
"My name, say it," he whispered, you looked up only to be met by his eyes, dark with unknown lust as if burning you within. He keeps staring at you, keeping you captive with his eyes that you somehow felt naked.
"Johnny," you whispered trying not to sound like your practically moaning his name. He took a step forward, leaving no space between you and him. "Again." He commands you. You sucked a deep breath as you avoid eye contact.
"Johnny."
He used his index finger to lift your head as his thumb drew circles just below your chin to the base of your neck. blood rushed to your face as you suddenly felt hot on your cheeks as he put his hands on your waist again. He tilts his head, the smell of alcohol mixed with his aftershave and mint filled your senses, suddenly it wasn't too dark anymore.
He brushes his lower lip against yours that you barely felt it. He licked his lower lip as you bite yours. He stares intently at you. "You know, I would appreciate it if you don't walk around the house in these." his hands hot on your skin.
all rationality seems to fly out of the window, both of you staring at each other gazes, Johnny pulling you in for a much deeper kiss. "Didn't know you were this naughty with alcohol in your system," he murmured, Johnny's soft languid kisses were driving you wild, he moves at the base of your neck and sucked at the soft skin before pressing light kisses.
"Do you have any idea how much I want you?" he says softly, your breath hitches without knowing and you deliciously clenched around nothing upon hearing his statement, you were hypnotized by his eyes. Leaning down, he kisses you again.
You put your hands around his chest to push him slightly, gazing up toward him, "I want this," you whispered. "No. Not in the morning when you're sober enough to regret this," Johnny says, you ignore him and pulled him down to kiss him again, and Johnny lost all his logic with how delicious you tasted, you guide his hands on the hem of your shirt and slowly he peels it off for you and lets it fall down the floor.
Johnny put his arms around you and hauls you against his body, squeezing you tightly, his hands traveled down your waist and down to your behind, he holds you against his hips, and you feel his erection, which he gladly pushes into you, easily lifting you from the floor after, you moan once more in his mouth, He eases you towards the bed and you feel your back against the soft cushion once more.
Tentatively, you move your hands up to his face and his hair, tugging at it lightly as if implying for him to take you fully. But Johnny has other plans in his mind. He grabs your hips with both his hands and runs his tongue around your navel, gently nipping his way to your hipbone and across your belly to the other.  "Ah," You groan.
Seeing him on top of you, between your legs as you feel his hot breath against your skin, Is unexpected, but you wanted this as much as he wants it. Your hand on his hair, pulling gently as you try to quiet your loud breathing. He gazes up at you through impossibly long-lashed, and chocolate-colored eyes. His hand reaches the hem of your black underwear, leisurely pulling it down without taking his eyes off you, he stops and licks his lips, never breaking eye contact. Johnny leans forward, running his nose up the apex between your thighs, and you feel him.
"You smell so fucking good," he murmurs and closes his eyes. a look of pure pleasure on his face and you practically convulse.
You raise yourself on your elbows to see what he's doing, you were panting, you wanted him right there. shit
Moaning, you felt him run his tongue on the sleek of your heat, "Keep still," he murmurs and then leans down again to kiss down your clit. "How can I not move? you're making me feel this good." you felt him smirk against your skin. "Then, we'll have to work on keeping you still." there was a dangerous tone laced in his voice and you find it impossibly hot and twisted. You're flushed, skin burning, too hot, too cold, and you're craving more as you clawed at the sheets beneath you.
Johnny moves forward and you protested but the pleasure came back once more when he blows very gently on one of yours mound, his hands moving to the other breast, and his thumb slowly rolls the end of your nipple, elongating it. You moan, feeling the sweet sensation all the way to your groin.
"Johnny," you were wet, "Please," you beg silently as your fingers clasp the sheet tighter. His lips close around your nipple and he tugs, making you convulse. He doesn't stop.
Johnny moves his fingers around your clit, drawing circles as he laps on your mound,  you let yourself go from his touch. His thumb and finger continue doing you deliciously and you fall apart on his hands.
"Oh," you won't lie, that felt extraordinary, and now, you know the fuss around him is about. He gazes down at you, a satisfied smirk on his face and you're still in owe from your high.
Johnny was amazed at how responsive you are, he laced his fingers around you, drawing slow and lazy circles around your clit again, bringing another set of heat in your core. He closes his eyes briefly, his breathing hitches. You're deliciously wet and Johnny doesn't want to fuck you with a condom on, and neither did you.
He reaches over the bedside table, anyway, grabbing a foil packet, and then moving out of the bed to discard the rest of his clothes. You saw him, and your mouth watered at how long and thick he is. He kneels on the bed and pulls the condom onto his length. "I really don't want to use one."
"Is that going to fit in?"
"Don't worry," He breathes,  "You're wet enough, Angel. I know you can make me well," He murmurs as he positions the head of his erection at the entrance of your sex and pushing hard.
"Aargh!" You cry as you felt him sliding in, there was a weird sensation pinching deep inside you as he rips through you without warning. Johnny stills, his eyes bright with ecstatic triumph. His mouth opened slightly, his breathing harsh. He groans wanting to move.
"Fuck, baby, so tight."
"Johnny, Wait."
He stills for a moment, "Why?" You held onto his forearms, fucking him with a condom doesn't feel right, you wanted every little part of him, you wanted to feel him. Raw. "I- Can we remove the condom?" Johnny asks as if reading your mind.
You nod at him, You felt him slide out of you, removing the condom and throwing it at the trash bin beside his bed. Johnny positions his self once more, easing on to you, groaning. He loved every bit of it, this was the first time that you had sex without using protection, and the same thing goes for Johnny. Moving your hips up to him, as a sign that you wanted him to move already. He groans. You felt so full, as he let you acclimatize at the overwhelming feeling of him inside you. Naked, and Raw.
He eases back with exquisite slowness. Closing his eyes, Johnny controlled himself not on to fuck you hard, He thrust into you again, and you cry out in pleasure. He shifts into his elbow, and you feel his weight on you, holding you down. He moves painfully slow at first, easing himself in and out of you. You grew impatient and you can't help but move your hips up tentatively to meet his. He speeds up. Pounding on you, picking up speed by the second, merciless and in a relentless rhythm.
you can't help yourself to meet his thrust, making Johnny lose his mind because of you. Your body quivers. a sheen of sweat gathers over you. Your thoughts are scattered. There's only the feeling of him, of you, and him, and you stiffen.
"Come for me, baby," he whispers breathlessly, and you unravel at his words, exploding around him as you climax and shard into pieces with every being you had underneath him. And as he comes inside you, calling your name, thrusting hard, the stalling as he empties himself into you.
Johnny's breathing was ragged as you try to slow your breathing, your heart thumping hard and your thoughts in a disarray, you opened your eyes. His eyes flickered open and gaze down at you, dark but soft. He's still inside you, leaning down, he gently presses a kiss against your forehead then slowly pulls out of you.
Johnny cleaned you up and spoon you to sleep, he hoped that in the morning you won't regret what happened. Because he loved every moment of it.
--
Part 2? I didn't put the taglist because this is already reposted. so, yeah, hope u guys enjoyed! let me know what you think, I feel like i sucked making this.
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mainly-kpop · 6 years
Text
text me
She sits on the bus flicking through her music trying to find the perfect song, a task that usually takes a ridiculous amount of time for her to just settle on a song shes listened to so many times before. One of those ones you listen to and never get sick of. She slouched down in her seat slightly watching the people pile in one after the other, a clear almost robotic routine to her days. Closing her eyes she relaxes into the bubble she had placed around her simply by putting headphones in, she bobbed her head gently to the music letting herself be immersed completely.
A light tap on her shoulder brought her back to the world, with a jolt she gave a gentle tug to one of the headphones letting it fall out of her ear. She looked up at the man who was standing in front of her. His fluffy looking dark hair parted straight down the middle,and curving in the bangs, it had a childish and almost sweet kind of turn to it, she smiled mostly to herself. The man had a smile which she could only describe to be blinding to mere mortals, coffee coloured brown eyes dancing along with the smile. he was tall and slim, or maybe rather muscular it was hard to tell, if he was he hid it well. He layered on clothing today, he definitely wasn’t from here, this was a summer day kind of heat in the UK. He was most likely around her age which made her interest peak in him. In conclusion he was tall, dark and handsome, just her type. 
‘May i sit?’ He spoke his voice sounded so cute yet so calming, it certainly matched the beaming smile lacing his features, her heart fluttered slightly, she had expected a deep raspy voice one fit for a mysterious man, not a soft and soothing, a voice that made her happy just listening to it. She nodded motioning her hand towards the seat telling him silently that he may indeed sit, she didn’t trust her voice to stay calm. He thanked her by bowing his head slightly and whispering a small thank you. She placed her earbud back in her ear and gazed out the window, it seemed like some dramatic movie. The typical teen movie, staring out the window listening to sad music thinking about life, that’s what she looked like right now and it almost made her laugh out loud.
Her shoulders shook slightly as she let a small laugh escape, she was almost certain she snorted, but if anyone asked or pointed it out she would deny it. The boy next to her looked at her strangely before turning back to his phone smiling. He hadn't randomly asked to sit next to her, there was plenty other seats free, plenty other places he could plop down temporarily, but she was pretty. Drifting off into her own world she looked so relaxed to him, he wanted to be near that, around that kind of energy. She was alluring to him, he liked everything about how she looked he was sure her personality must be just as good. He was so lost in admiring the girl he hardly noticed he had missed his stop. Looking up from his phone and looking at the surroundings outside the bus, his eyes widening in horror as he realised he had indeed missed his stop, 3 stops ago in fact. He pushed the button quickly running to the front of the bus waiting for the driver to stop, he stepped off quickly taking a breath as he watched the bus drive off. He patted his pockets for his phone, he should probably let Tae know what an idiot he had been. Shit. She turned to look back out the window sinking herself back into her bubble. She had concluded the boy really wasn’t from here, who forgets their stop these days. A sudden vibration on her leg broke her out of her thoughts, she looked down at her phone to see no messages, strange, she ignored it. 
It happened again, and again, and again. She looked down at her leg Confused. Sitting right next to her right leg was a phone, his phone. She rolled her eyes picking it up and looking at the screen. 
10 messages from Tae
What the? This boy has some obsessive friends. She decided to swipe the screen up, i mean if there was no password was she even really snooping? Of course she was, but he didn’t need to know that. 
‘Hey i’m here where are you?’ 
‘Dude its been 5 minutes did you miss your stop?’ 
‘Broooo i swear to godddddddddd’
‘Dude we left 5 minutes apart how are you this late?’ 
‘OI YOU GIRL SITTING THERE’ 
‘PLEASE ANSWER MY PHONE’ 
‘ANSWER 
ANSWER 
ANSWER’ she smirked at the phone laughing at the messages, he was asking for her to open the phone he cant accuse her of anything now. To be honest she was impressed at the boys speed he had only gotten off the bus about 5 minutes ago.
‘PLEASE PICK UP MY PHONE I KNOW I LEFT IT ON VIBRATE I KNOW YOU HAVE IT’ 
‘ILL SCREAM THEFT IF YOU DON’T ANSWER RIGHT NOW.’ she scoffed at this statement, steal his phone? HIS phone? No thank you sir, as if she wanted a LG when she had a perfectly beautiful Iphone sitting right in her lap. 
‘Wow hold up little boy I ain’t no thief, you left your own damn phone that ain’t my fault, also who doesn’t have a password on their phones these days, are you crazy?!’ She typed out the text and hit send waiting for the flurry of messages. 
‘Okay okay I’m sorry, pls don’t leave...also people who don’t have anything to hide don’t have passwords, bet yours is like 15 characters long.’ She frowned at his snark then looked around the bus, what was with this idiot boy. 
‘Dude, i’m on a fucking bus, what do you mean don’t leave! and my password is actually 4 numbers don’t be rude.’ Hoseok was beyond done with this girl, he had seriously miscalculated her personality. He looked at his best friend as he continued shovelling food into his mouth. 
‘Can I have my phone back now?’ He frowned at the boy across the table, no, no he fucking couldn’t. 
‘Not until i get my phone back buddy, unless you want me to send your photos to every girl in-’ Tae’s eyes popped out his head, no way did he just threaten to leak his nudes... 
‘No! no... its okay man keep it who needs a phone right!?’ Hoseok slumped back into his seat returning the text. 
‘Don’t be a brat, when do you get off the bus.’ at this rate he wasn’t going to get his phone back anytime soon. She was a pretty girl but the attitude on her was infuriating. 
‘EW stalker much! I’m not telling you where I live! For all I know you left your damn phone on purpose.’ She smirked and sent the text, okay she knew he just wanted his phone back but she was enjoying winding him up, he was entertaining. She rang the bell packing her stuff up, slotting the phone in her bag, she left the bus thanking the driver and headed up the road to her house. A little humble home. She lived in a white picket fence neighbourhood but somehow wished she didn’t. The families around her had little demon children that would kick the ball into her yard, who would ding dong ditch, who climbed the bins to jump off inevitably hurting themselves then crying to their mothers like it wasn’t their own damn fault. She also didn’t quite fit in here, everyone was either 90 or married with little gremlins. She was neither of these people at this present time. 
She unlocked the front door running in and closing it quickly before some random mother could invite her to their kids bake sale or something, it was not something she needed after a day like hers. Throwing her bag down in the hallway she plonked herself down on the couch, scrolling through her phone and wasting time. She had a lot to do, she usually did, this just seemed far more appealing to her.
‘She’s not answering the texts anymore what am i meant to do now!’ Tae rolled his eyes, his best friend really was the idiot of all idiots. They had made it back to their hotel, Tae looked over to Hobi’s pillow seeing he hadn’t taken advantage of the little pillow chocolate, his loss. He swiped it up and plopped it into his mouth before his friend could protest. 
‘Omg maybe she stole it, or left it on the bus too, or maybe shes been kidnapped and cant answer oh or maybe she-’
‘Shut up you dingus.’ Tae pouted at being interrupted, bidding farewell to his friend, and his phone as he set of back to his room leaving Hoseok to his own devices. 
He paced back and forth deciding on what to do, he could text again but hes texted a lot so far, he went into the call log on Tae’s phone and pushed his number. 
She heard buzzing. incessant buzzing that wouldn't damn well stop, she got up following the sound and rolled her eyes when she realised it was her bag. picking it up plucking out the phone she answered it.
‘Hello? What do you- hello? Hello?!’ He hung up. She was confused to say the least but she looked down at the phone anyways seeing all the messages, she snorted bringing it to the living room and scrolling through the chat. 
‘Why did you call me to hang up as soon as i answered? How rude!’ 
‘I needed you to answer! I need my damn phone back, i have important things coming up, important business.’ She raised an eyebrow, hmm we will see, she clicked on his calendar to see exactly what he had going on, empty. Nothing. Nada. 
‘Really? cos your calendar says you’re free for like ever, how sad’ Hoseok widened his eyes in disbelief and scoffed, was she really snooping through his phone right now? Another message came through and he smirked. 
‘Can I answer your other messages? The little notification thing is annoying me and your friends seem about as persistent as your bitch ass.’ That could be interesting... 
‘Sure why not, don’t answer family tho that’s weird. Also i really do need my phone back, we have this thing we are going to together... i can’t explain but i need my phone so Tae can have his back.’ She frowned at his vagueness.
Really all they were doing was flying back to their home town, it wasn't for another few weeks so he had time but she didn't need to know that.
‘Omg do you guys gather around and hold hands every week and tell each other your struggles? SO CUTE I LOVE BOYFRIENDS.’ She scrolled onto the other chats looking at the unread messages not wanting to invade his privacy too much. 
‘Tae tells me you lost your phone on a bus, well done genius.’ She scoffed already typing out the perfect reply. 
‘Who says he’s the idiot, you’re the one texting a lost phone looking for your friend Mr Min Yoongi.’ 
She moved onto the next one seeing it was from someone named Jungkook, she opened it up seeing a random picture of a chest and then some winking emojis underneath. 
‘My my, are you flirting with me?’ She sent getting a reply almost instantly. 
‘DUDE NO, you were telling me you were fitter than me yesterday, I wanted to prove you wrong... remember...’ She laughed, so he was fit under those layers. 
‘Damn now you got me all disappointed.’ 
She exited that one and scrolled onto the next chat seeing its a group, oh how delightful she smiles in the most evil manner clicking the screen opening up the group. 
‘Whats up my fellow men, how are we hanging?’ she sent the text seeing them all receive it, before all the typing bubbles pop up. 
Jimin: ‘Hanging pretty well mate thanks for asking.’ 
Jungkook: ‘Honestly what is with you today? I'm pretty good...’ 
Tae: ‘I DIDN’T SAY YOU COULD ANSWER THE GROUP CHAT!’ 
Hobi: ‘Yeah? Well, you didn’t say I couldn’t so...’ 
Yoongi: ‘You idiots, Hobi left his phone on the bus and now some random has it.’ She was hurt by this, like not in a genuinely wow I feel pain but in a wow what a meanie kind of way, she opened up the camera and sent a pouting selfie into the chat captioned ‘How rude I’m deeply offended little boy.’ she sent it and closed the group chat going back onto the one with Hoseok. 
‘So that’s your name? Hobi? Like Hobby?’ He rolled his eyes, and replied with a simple yes, going back to the group chat, he looked the selfie over again making sure it was the same girl he was sitting next to on the bus, no doubt about it, seems she really does just have an attitude on her.  
‘I will meet up with you to give your precious mobile device back to you, but only if you can prove you’re not a murderer or something.’ Honestly this fucking girl. 
‘And how the hell am i meant to do that? Search my phone if you want i don’t care i just need it back, we fly out soon and I can’t just leave it here.’ Ah she knew they weren’t from here! That makes his urgency a little more understandable. Its understandable anyways when she thinks about the longest she had ever been away from her phone, she shudders at the thought of it being the other way around. 
She now had permission to go through his phone and boy was she going to take him up on that offer. Listen, she wasn’t nosy or snooping where she didn’t need to be, she just wanted to get a feel for the guy, find out who he is, what he likes, what he does, And of course whether he is fucking crazy or not. 
She scrolled through his photos first, finding a few of what she assumed was him and his friends, they were cute, she wont lie. There was seven in total and they were all super attractive. She looked at them all picking out one of them zooming in, screen shotting and sending the photo to the group chat. 
‘Who is this?’ 
Jungkook: ‘Oh my god’ 
Jin: ‘Are you fucking kidding me. 
Yoongi: ‘That’s me you random what do you want.’ 
‘Wow, I was just going to say you are attractive af, but never mind i take it back.’ 
Namjoon: ‘Fucking shot down mate.’ she closed the group continuing her search for anything suspicious. She found a video of what seemed like Hobi and another boy, she recognised the other boy from the photos. He was tall and adorable, boxy smile and bright eyes, always seemed to be happy or drop dead gorgeous, there seemed to be no in between. Clicking play she listened to the video getting chills all the way up her arms and down her back.
‘Yo who the fuck is this i just wanna talk.’ 
Jimin: ‘Hey its tae, its me whats up?’ 
‘Look at that Yoongi, that’s how you politely answer a question.’ 
Yoongi: ‘I’m muting.’ 
‘Anyways, how is your voice so deep, and soothing, and beautiful, hello can we be wed.’ 
Jimin: ‘Sure tell me where and when’
Tae: ‘OKAY enough flirting, it’s making me want to vomit.’ 
Jimin: ‘spoil sport.’
‘ugh, fine, we still have a side chat, looks like Jimin wont be getting his phone back either...’ 
Jungkook: ‘ugh, disgusting.’
Tae: ‘Just, please don’t send nudes from my phone, or to my phone for that matter...’
switching between talking to Tae and looking through photos nothing really seemed to pop out at her as being shifty or suspicious. Mainly just photos of family and friends, scenery of places he had been to, it seems the group travelled a lot and she couldn't help but wonder what they all did. Were they in it together or just always travel together? She would ask later she decided shrugging it off. She scrolled more enjoying the photos he had, he seemed artistic and she enjoyed that a lot.
'So? Anything that screams psycho murder to you?' She smiled at the text.
'okay okay, I'll admit it, you don't seem like a crazy killer, however. You do travel a lot, where do you get the money for this? Do you guys deal drugs or something?' he laughed out loud in his hotel room. Drugs? That’s the first thing that comes to mind? What kind of area did this girl grow up in... 
'No you idiot, we are all partners in a business, a highly successful one at that, why did your mind go straight to drugs, you Brits I swear.' Her mouth hung open at the stereotype, she was Scottish actually, not that it made it all that much better, worse actually, the stereotype was still annoying.
'wooooooow you really Don’t know a superior accent when you hear one huh!'
'okay first you didn't even say a word to me you moved your perfectly manicured hand and put your headphone back in. As for superior accent if it's not Australian I don't care.' she rolled her eyes this boy truly was a handful.
'meet me on Sunday, half 4 at the cafe down the road from the bus stop you got off at, not a minute later, then you will hear a real accent you uncultured swine.' He rolled his eyes, honestly any longer talking to this girl and he was going to have a permanent migraine.
Jin: 'Hobi did you get your phone back?'
'nope still me you boobs, sorry to disappoint'
Jimin: 'Tell us something about you anyway, shouldn't we get to know the girl our hobi is going to date?' Hobi smacked himself on the forehead, migraine suddenly building at a rapid pace. For the last couple of days he had been getting to know her, finding out about what she likes, what her family is like, where she's from and when she moved. He learned about her little quirks and what makes her, her. He was falling head over heels for the girl with his phone and he couldn't stop it any longer. He had confided in the boys when they last went out for dinner saying how much he enjoyed her. He knew he shouldn't have, he knew it was a bad idea, these idiots had the biggest mouths.
'DATE!?!?! Wow wow wow pretty boy slow your roll!' She shook her head no way. He couldn't want that. There was no way she was sassy, and annoying, brash and infuriating. He was bright and smart, funny and artsy he was the opposite to her, he couldn't like her it just wasn't feasible.
Jungkook: 'it's Taeeee, it's not a lie he loves you.' He could feel his heart beating and his mouth drying, he was going to kill them if it was the last thing he did.
'Agh stop telling me lies little boy, I'm far more interested in moody little Yoongi and we all know it.' she teased. She had been talking to them all a lot over the past few days, and truthfully although she did get along well with Yoongi, she wanted Hoseok, and there was no changing that.
Yoongi: 'Ew leave me you mutant, date the one that actually wants your lame ass.'
Tae: 'STOP OMG, I’m getting my phone back tomorrow leave the poor girl alone'
'Y/N. My name is Y/N.' Through the last few days no one had requested your name, not even Hoseok, You found it strange but the mystery was soon to be over, therefore a name should be given. 
He waited at the bus stop the next day, checking Tae’s phone obsessively waiting for her to say she wasn't coming. He arrived earlier than told, but he was just excited to see her after this whole week, excited to finally see the girl he had gotten to know, most of all however he was thrilled to finally have his own phone back in his hands. The bus pulled up and she stepped out thanking the driver and walking towards the cafe seeing him standing back towards her, he had a t-shirt on, clearly finally used to the weather, she smiled to herself admiring the way he stands so effortlessly, yet somehow still looks lost and scared.
‘You lost love?’ She spoke gently tapping him on the shoulder. 
‘Oh no, sorry i’m just- hey.’ He spoke gently, smiling fondly at the girl in front of him.
'What accent is that?' He questioned not quite able to place it. She smiled looking up at him, he was taller than she expected. When she was sitting it was obvious he was tall, she hadn't expected this tall. 'Scottish, its not heavy but its there.' It had faded slightly with all the years she had been living in England, she held on to what she could of it. 
'oh here.' she handed his phone over with a small smirk on her face. He let out a sigh of relief and flicked his finger over the screen unlocking it, he looked up at her with a raised eyebrow.
'you set your face to my home screen? Really? You couldn't have taken a more flattering photo?' She sucked in a breath of mock insult.
'I'll have you know both my chin and I look astounding in this photo, I also set it as my caller id because-'
'wait, you put your number in my phone?' She blushed instantly realising that she maybe went a step too far.
'oh uh yeah, I just thought that maybe you would want it, to um talk later, sorry you don't have to keep it, it's uh no big deal' She brushed off as if it wasn't a massive deal.
'no, I do want it, the boys love you, I love you. Oh as a friend of course I uh' He blushed and brushed his hand through his hair, she giggled at him being this flustered.
'Hobi, do you maybe want to go get a coffee? I know this really nice cafe just-'
'I would love that.' He interrupted she rolled her eyes smacking his arm.
'you really need to stop interrupting me little boy'
'hey I'm like 100% older than you little girl'
'yeah well I'm cuter'
'HA OKAY THAT'S WHERE I DRAW THE LINE'
They joined hands walking to the cafe together blissfully unaware of the future.
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