#hey gay people in my phone I’m fixating

[shockpinkrosary]

Sometimes I get the feeling she’s watching over me 🔥

[jiminsfault]

❥ pairing: Jungkook x reader

❥ genre: non-idol!au, nc17 / fluff, the tiniest amount of smut, a bit of crack, romance

❥ word count: 7.5k

❥ summary: Jimin wanted to play matchmaker and you fell right into his love trap.

❥ warnings: a lot of sexual comments, Reader has a fixation on hygiene?, Jimin is gay, side Yoonmin (it’s not really much but present), sexual tension, Jungkook probably has a Noona kink, use of korean honorifics (only a bit), Reader is super awkward, Jungkook is gonna steal your heart, more sexual tension, Jungkook knows tiktok, making out, kisses, it gets heated a bit, a lot of love, shy boy!Jungkook, more love

❥ thank you for this great header heathy! @shadowsremedy​ uwu

“Hey, uhm. Could you…,” Jimin started his sentence next to you, lying on your couch, “would you go on a date with me?”

You just sipped on your glass of coke, hearing this, you almost spat it out. With wide eyes you turned towards him and couldn’t keep your mouth closed, once you gulped the drink down. “No?” He asked, seeing your reaction. His tone was questioning and he had eyes just as big as you had.

“No. What the fuck, Jimin? Why would I go on a date with you? Like, ever,” you rolled your eyes, looking at him with disgust. Not to misunderstand, Jimin was handsome and funny, always there for you when you needed him. He encouraged you to go out and meet people and sat through movies with you, when you needed to cry about the boy who broke your heart.

But that’s exactly why you wouldn’t ever go on a date with him. Jimin was your best friend ever since high school, when he sat down next to you, a new student from Busan and just moved to seoul. He didn’t know anybody but when he sat down next to you, you smiled at him and explained to him what the class was about. Ever since then, you both were like paper and glue, sticking together for whatever troubles you had. You know too much about the guy, couldn’t ever see him in a romantic way. Plus, he’s gay, so.

Jimin rolled his eyes, too, sitting up and throwing all the crumbs from his chips onto your couch. He’s going to be cleaning this. “No you dummy, not like that. Just accompany me out with two guys and-”

“I will not have a foursome with you and some random dudes you found on Grindr!” You screeched, holding your pointer finger up and successfully stopping him from speaking.

“Can you shut up for a second? I don’t ever wanna see you when you get down and dirty with someone. You can keep that for yourself, I already had to find your vibrator,” shaking his head, he shuddered at the memory, “that was enough trauma.”

“I’m trying to tell you, it’s kind of like a double date. Except, the two dudes don’t know that yet. I really wanna fuck this one guy but he didn’t get the memo so he invited his friend when I said we could meet up sometime.” Another eye roll while he threw a chip up in the air and caught it with his mouth. He continued to speak, while chewing, making you cringe at his disgusting behavior. “His name’s Jungkook, the friend of his. You’re gonna come with and distract him from me and my snack. I just want some alone time to make him my sl-”

You held your hand up again, looking away. You didn’t want to hear what he had to say. “Fine, okay. If I come along, what’s in it for me? I have to spend my evening with some rando, getting him away from his friend? What if that dude doesn’t want to be alone with you?” Your face gave your doubt away, looking Jimin up and down.

“That’s the thing, Y/N. He doesn’t know that he wants to be alone with me yet. After that evening, when he realized what good of a catch I am, he definitely won’t get enough of some good alone time.” You scoffed, when he wiggled his eyebrows up and down. Reaching forward, you snatched the bag of chips from him and ate some yourself. “And what’s in it for you, my sweet darling? Jungkook’s fucking hot, too. I’d want to bite his ass, but he’s straight as an arrow.”

He fake pouted, shortly after his devilish smirk came out because he could tell that you were considering it. “Do you have a picture? I’m not gonna let you trick me like last time,” the trust you once had in him to hook you up with someone was long gone after he told you he’d found the man of your dreams, until the guy turned out to look like he drank beer for fifty years and hadn’t showered for much longer.

“No, but I can describe him?” You tsked, standing up from the couch and going to the bathroom. Jimin could lie to you all he wants, you’re not gonna waste your time with this. “C’mon! Help me get some ass! Please!”

You snickered as he wailed in the living room, already having decided to help your friend out a little. But he didn’t need to know that just yet, teasing Jimin was too much fun.

“So you’re sure this guy won’t be a creep?” You checked back in with Jimin for the nth time. He could never be trusted when he was trying to get into some dude’s pants.

“Yes, Y/N. I’m a hundred percent sure and if I’m lying, you can absolutely cut off my balls and serve them for breakfast, yeah?” It was laced with humor and he side eyed you from the passenger's seat in your car. Breathing out, heavy with annoyance, you nodded.

This couldn’t be the worst, you supposed. “What happens if you and your twinky hit off and y’all wanna leave? Am I supposed to stay with this Jungkook guy?” 

“He’s not a twink, Y/N. You’ll see, Yoongi is really nice!” His voice reached high ends and you scrunched up your nose. Even though you dressed up in a deep blue dress that was bordering on mid thigh, with your favorite heels, comfortable but still chic, you were full of doubts. Yes, a movie with Jimin and additional possible friends would be nice, but the risk of an unhygienic or rude date is still present.

“I can smell your worries,” Jimin said. You looked at him quickly and saw that he was watching you intently. “Jungkook really is a nice guy. He’s younger than you but he got his manners. And he’s a smart one,” he went on about your date for the rest of the way to the cinema and once you parked the car, he finally stopped talking.

“If you’re lying, prepare your balls,” you threatened, looking at him with sharp eyes. He nodded with a smirk and jumped out of your car.

You followed him, linking your arm with his after he waited for you and together you walked towards the entrance of the cinema. Inside, the entrance hall was bustling with people buying tickets and snacks, walking to the assigned rooms to watch movies. Children were running around and groups of teenagers filled the ticket box office.

Jimin already went to complain about how long they’d have to wait but then a guy approached. He had black hair, was about the same size as Jimin but had a bit of a smaller frame. His face was feline like and he seemed to know exactly who to talk to. “Jimin?” His voice sounded when he was only a few steps away and with a happy noise, your friend let go of your arm and fell into the arms of the man.

“Yoongi! How are you, where’s Jungkook?” He blabbered quickly, laying his arm around this Yoongi’s shoulders. Now that you thought about it, you never asked how Jimin met this guy. When they were closer to you, you smiled at Yoongi and introduced yourself. He seemed a bit shy, shrinking into Jimin’s frame when he greeted you. It was cute and suddenly you knew exactly why Jimin was so keen on meeting him. 

“Jungkook is getting us popcorn, one sweet, one salty because we didn’t know what you guys preferred. Also drinks, I hope coke is fine?”

Jimin and you both agreed and once the both of them started conversation, you started to look around more. They seemed to get along well, why were you even here? And where is this Jungkook? The snack checkout was still full with people and considering the lack of knowledge you had about his looks except ‘he’s handsome’, your searching was hopeless.

You decided to grab your phone out of your small purse, checking the time only to see that the movie should start in about ten minutes. “Guys, why don’t we buy the tickets? We’ll miss the start if we wait longer,” you trailed while you still looked at your phone, overlooking the messages a group chat sent.

“Already taken care of,” a smooth voice announced from behind you. It caught you off guard, so you shrieked a bit and clutched your hands to your chest. A giggle was heard and shortly after, the person to the voice stood next to you, hands full with popcorn and drinks. The two men across you, still in conversation, took a drink each, Jimin holding a popcorn bag as well. “You must be Y/N, yeah? I’m Jungkook,” he said. Once you finally looked at his face, he was quite tall so you had to look high up, you saw a very handsome face.

He had perky and cute lips that seemed strawberry pink, a small mole underneath and his smile was cheeky and adorable. With his smile came bunched up cheeks and his eyes seemed to carry his happiness. The light brown hair was partly over his forehead, a small gap let you see a bit of his eyebrows, strong and dark. His frame was wide, muscly it seemed. He was wearing a jeans jacket with a white shirt underneath and ripped pants that hugged his wonderfully thick thighs. Was he a god or something?

Everyone noticed your quietness and to cover the awkward pause in conversation, Jimin laughed and went in to hug Jungkook. “Nice to see you! Yoongi told me a bunch about you. This here is Y/N, she can be a bit shy around new people,” he made show to hold your shoulders and make you look at him. Your cheeks glowed up with heat and an embarrassed laugh made it out from between your lips.

“It’s fine, I’m sure we can get used to each other inside,” Jungkook said with a friendly tone and you were glad that this was all that was needed for the small group to get moving. Jimin trailed in front with an arm draped around Yoongi’s waist and he looked back to wink at you. “C’mon, don’t wanna miss the ads, huh?”

This Jungkook really had an effect on you like no one else did. For god’s sake, you were older than this guy and you acted like a schoolgirl. Get a grip, Y/N!

With a heavy intake of breath, packing your phone back into your purse, you walked towards the three that were already a bit up the stairs. Arriving next to your date for the evening, you looked at his side profile. “Should I take something from that?” Pointing to the drinks and the bag of popcorn in his arms, you kept looking at him, between glancing down to make sure you didn’t miss the final step and walked behind Jimin and Yoongi. Did they even know which room the movie was playing?

“I got it, thanks,” he said, smiling down at you. Pressing your lips together, you nodded. “You’re a year older than me, right?” His question confused you a bit, after not much conversation he brought up age in an awfully weird way.

“Uhm… yeah, I think so? Jimin said I’m older than you, so,” you shrugged your shoulders and looked in front of you, walking through the doors of hall D. You saw your friend and his company walking up towards line 47 and they sat down on seat 4 and 5. “Do I go past them or do we sit here?”

You pointed at the seats 2 and 3 and looked at Jungkook. He scrunched his nose and you could see his eyes smile again. Nodding his head to the seats you were pointing at, he sat down shortly after you did too. He sat next to Yoongi, which made you be the furthest from your friend and slightly on edge. Jimin said he’d be with you until you were comfortable, but you weren’t sure if you were ready to be on your own with Jungkook.

The room was already dimmed down, the ads weren’t playing yet, so it was still relatively bright for a cinema. “Which popcorn do guys have?” Jimin asked from the end of your small row. Jungkook grabbed one popcorn and held it in front of you, looking at you with a grin.

“Find it out?” You gulped, raising your hand to grab the flake, but Jungkook held it closer to your mouth, making you open your mouth and taking it from his fingers with your lips. They touched the tips of his fingers briefly and you felt a spark of warmth in your belly, as well as your face. He still looked at you closely and didn’t waver from your face, meanwhile you looked sideways towards the screen to avoid his eyes. You munched the popped kernel and licked your lips.

“Salt,” you stated, shyly looking at the still smiling man who now nodded. Jimin could’ve just tried his own popcorn to find out that they had the sweet one. You furrowed your eyebrows and looked at your lap. Why did he tell you to dress up? Jungkook was only wearing a jeans jacket and Jimin himself wasn’t that dolled up either.

Gnawing on your lip, you blended their voices out, only to be poked at your shoulder. You looked over, noticing that Jungkook probably tried to talk to you. “Is salt fine with you?” You nodded, calming yourself down. Right when he put your drink in front of you to have it, the lights got turned off.

“Oh no, now I can’t see the holder,” you murmured more to yourself. You clumsily tried to place your drink into the round plastic on your seat to your left but almost dropped the cup. Hissing out a curse, you tried again but failed. Suddenly you saw through your peripheral vision that Jungkook moving next to you, leaning across your body and taking your cup from your hold, finding the holder and sitting back into his seat. Stunned, you were glued to your place. Your breath was quick, Jungkook smelled nice and the way he leaned over you and completely covered you made you a bit unconcentrated. The advertisements started blaring out of the speakers but people were still talking, chewing their snacks and slurping their drinks.

“Noona,” Jungkook suddenly murmured right next to your ear. You felt his breath on your cheek and his presence was so hard to ignore. “Are you fine? You seem uncomfortable,” he continued, voice laced with obvious worry.

You looked to your side, making his face out with the light of the screen in front. It was close but he kept his distance once you faced him. “I’m a little nervous,” you whispered honestly. “And I’m overdressed.”

He giggled cutely, looking at the screen for a moment, where a movie trailer was now playing, but turned back to you. “Maybe a bit,” he admitted. He paused, seeming to think about his words. “But you look really pretty, Noona.”

He turned his head slightly to the side and smiled at you, fumbling around with your purse in your lap and avoiding his gaze. The cinema filled even more up and before the advertisements were fully over, there sat a man right in your viewpoint. A very tall man. You huffed, going left and right to see over his head, but to really see something, you’d have to lean over Jungkook. Taking a glance at him, he was casually talking with Yoongi and Jimin, they had picked a conversation up while you were busy. Munching a bit on the popcorn and sipping from his drink, he looked almost cute, wouldn’t he be so attractive that you couldn’t cope. His jeans jacket was still on and he spread his legs, slouching a bit in the seat to get comfortable. You usually hated it when men took up space like this. Jimin constantly did it to get on your nerves and if you would have half a mind, you’d see that he’s doing it tonight as well. Something about the way Jungkook made it look like changed your mind. It was suddenly not as gross, you’d rather get a personal feel for the meaty legs and the man was so attractive, you were sure his body had to be as well.

With a quick look to his side, he noticed you stopped squirming. But when he looked at the head in front of you, he could tell that it still very much blocked your view. Rasping his throat to prepare, he leaned over to you and came close, “do you want us to switch seats? I can probably look over him.” You jumped, slouching into your form and when you looked to your right, you saw that Jungkook was ready to stand up. 

“No, it’s fine,” you whispered, laying a hand on his wrist that was nearest to you. He looked at the contact and you spluttered, realising your touch. He looked up, the dim lighting making it hard to really read his expression. With an audible sigh, he gave up the advance of switching seats, but still wanted to help you.

“Excuse me, Sir?” He leaned forwards a bit. The man in front of you turned over and looked at him, demanding what was the problem. “My girlfriend can’t really see with you in the view, would you mind scooting up the row two seats? It doesn’t seem like more people will come.”

You covered your face, wanting to disappear. Jungkook couldn’t just talk to a stranger like this, calling you his girlfriend. But to your surprise, the man nodded, smiling friendly and saying that he figured it should be alright, switching seats and then checking back that everyone could see. With gaping eyes, you looked to your seat neighbor and shook your head slowly. He grinned at you and leaned back, starting a conversation over how great he is, sarcasm obvious in his tone, but you still agreed wholeheartedly.

The movie started, the lights got even lower and you finally could lean back and relax. Until you realized one crucial thing, Jimin lied to you once again. The little fucker would get some nice bruises once you were done with him, he picked out a horror movie without telling you. In fact, you thought you were here to watch a family friendly animated movie, not something about dead dolls. He probably just wants his twink to be scared and hide in his arms and yet you have to suffer through it.

You tried to hold in your screams and whimpers at the first scary scenes, but Jungkook still noticed the stiffening of your posture and the small shrieks you let out. Without you even really noticing, he pulled you close and whispered in your ear, “you scared?” Nodding, you looked at him with terror in your eyes and he chuckled deep in his chest. You felt it through his jacket, your shoulder at his front. At the opportunity, you looked at the men next to Jungkook. Yoongi was laying in Jimin’s arms, hiding his face in his neck when the screen gave away jump scares and shrill noises.

“You can hold onto me, if it helps?” Jungkook suggested. At this point, you were willing to try anything. So you clutched onto Jungkook’s upper arm, pulling him a bit in front of you to hide behind his shoulder when the music started to build up.

As you left the movie hall, credits rolled and popcorn collected, you staggered out into the light and took in a big breath of air. You survived. Never in your life had you regretted meeting Jimin this much, the guy still had the nerve to laugh at you and mimic your shocked eyes. Yoongi giggled next to him, seemingly more attached than before the movie and you asked yourself if you really were needed to give them privacy.

“I think I’ll go to the bathroom, too. The ride home will be long,” Yoongi trailed, pointing behind him as he started walking backwards. Jimin nodded, waving cutely and turning back to you. Jungkook attended the bathroom as well, which made you wait on them now.

With a cheeky grin, Jimin looked at you expecting. “So? What do you think about Jungkook?” Rolling your eyes, you walked away from him, in search for the nearest chair to sit on. 

“Jimin, I have an assumption and if I’m right about it, I’ll kill you.” The seriousness in your tone made him press his lips together and look at you. “You and Yoongi know each other well enough already, yeah?”

Your friend tried to avoid looking at you, moving from foot to foot and laughing nervously. “Well,” he started, puffing his cheeks with air. “We do know each other, but we don’t fuck! Yet. He never took my flirting seriously, which is why he invited a friend when I asked him out.”

He looked at you with puppy eyes, making you sigh. “But there was more behind me joining tonight, right? This seems like a setup.” Crossing your arms in front of your chest, you looked behind Jimin to see when one of the others came back. Your friend bit his lip, slowly nodding.

“Y/N, I know Jungkook, so I know that he’s such a great guy for you. When Yoongi said he’ll bring a friend, I asked him to bring Jungkook,” he admitted. “Getting you out of your room has been hard enough for a few weeks now, but you rarely meet guys. You always cry about your ex and that you’d never find the right one, so…,” he trailed off.

“So you took it into your own hands and made me come here, dolled up like this? You chose a horror movie, how cliché of you. The seats?” The wild guesses made Jimin squirm, you catching his plan head on and exposing him.

“Give him a chance, Y/N. He saw pictures of you and I told him a bunch, he thinks you’re really cute and Yoongi probably listens to him swoon about you right now! Nobody takes this long for a wee.” You laughed weakly, not knowing what to think of this.

Exhaling, you looked at Jimin for a long, quiet pause. “He’s really cute,” you said with finality. He made a show of fist bumping the air and congratulating himself. “But you can’t just play matchmaker with me.” The guilty look was back on again, puppy eyes and wobbly lip.

“Y/N, but you like him, right? Will you see him again?” He said in his baby voice. You laughed at this, closing your eyes and shaking your head. “No, really, will you?”

You had to think about that. Jungkook was handsome, smelled good, his hair seemed washed. He looks like he’s hygienic and he was really nice to you as well. Funny, in his own way and he helped you out multiple times. He flirted with you, too. It was a good date, after the awkward beginnings you felt comfortable and he was ready to protect you from the scary figures on screen. While contemplating all this, you bit on your lip and looked at your feet, not noticing the arrival of your company.

“I think I will, actually,” you started, raising your head until you saw Yoongi next to Jimin and realized Jungkook’s presence next to you. For the nth time tonight, blush rose to your face and ears, averting your eyes.

Jimin, not getting enough of teasing you tonight, started to smirk at his newest plot against you. “Hey, why don’t I come back to yours?” He turned to Yoongi, wiggling his eyebrows twice and laying his hand on his date’s waist. He made a noise of thinking before checking in with Jungkook, agreeing to Jimin’s suggestion afterwards. With horror in your eyes, you saw Jimin wave at you and Jungkook, faking worry and playing his act of, “I hope it doesn’t bother you to drive with Y/N?”

Watching the two descend down the stairs, heads disappearing, you turned to look at Jungkook, who already watched you. “What do you think you will?” The question seemed like he waited the whole conversation out to ask and you couldn’t keep eye contact with his intense stare on you.

“Ah, just… Jimin asked if I’ll study tonight!” You exclaimed, moving to jump off the chair but Jungkook stood in front of you, blocking the way.

“Did you enjoy tonight enough to meet me again?” He asked, his voice a tone darker than it was before and when you looked up at him, you couldn’t focus on just one feature of his. His broad frame covered you completely once again and his smell invaded your senses. Feeling a bit dizzy, you put your hand on his biceps. He felt your apprehensiveness and held you by your waist to support you.

Being shy about this kind of thing, you looked down and nodded quickly. “Yeah, I…,” you started, looking up again and being assured with the way his eyes didn’t waver from your form, “I’d really like that.” He smiled, nodding slowly and helping you get down from the high chair.

“So, can I ask you for your number, then?” He was blushing a bit himself, touching his ear when he waited for you to tap your digits into his phone. He promised to text you soon, said he couldn’t wait to meet you again and asked you all kinds of questions to find out what date idea you liked most.

In the end, he had a few ideas that he wrote down and said he needed some more time to think about it. You giggled at his cute behavior, asking him to lead the way for his place, once you were in the car. He helped you navigate and thanked you for getting him home, wishing you a good night and a safe drive back to your place. You nodded and reminded him of texting you, hearing a ping only moments after he closed the car door to walk the driveway up.

Checking your phone, you chuckled when you saw a message by an unknown number, ‘how soon can you see me again?’

It turned out to be very soon, actually. Just the next week, Jungkook organized a date for the two of you, keeping it a secret where exactly he’ll be taking you. He told you to wear casual clothing, just a simple outfit and no heels. He teased you to not overdress again and you actually screamed. Getting your point across that it was Jimin’s fault was hard when Jungkook was cocky enough to assume you wanted to lure him in.

But on the same friday, Jungkook picked you up with his truck, greeting you with his bright smile and congratulating you on the fitting clothes. He received your famous eye roll and off you went, onto the road. 

The ride wasn’t long, Jungkook assured you that it’s around the city and that it’ll be fun. You decided to trust him, waiting to arrive wherever he takes you. Talking to him came easy, over the last week you texted a lot and got acquainted enough to be comfortable around him and tell stories to fill the car. His music taste was exceptional and he promised to make you a playlist soon.

When he turned the corner into a parking lot, you looked around. “Where are we?” You asked, confused because there was no obvious sign hung on the house you were in front.

“You’ll see,” he said, smile steady on his face as he left the car and walked towards the house, your steps close behind him. Jungkook rung a bell, next to it was a handwritten name but the door opened quickly, not giving you time to figure the letters out.

“Jungkook,” you said quietly, looking at him from where he stood three stairs above you. He looked down at you with a quizzed face, leaning his head to the side. “This isn’t some spooky stuff, right?” You furrowed your brows as you hesitated.

He let out an airy laugh, “no, don’t worry, Noona.” He winked at you, not very smooth since he ultimately blinked but it was cute, so you let it slide. Just opening your mouth to repeat the response to the title he used, that you had messaged him a few times now, he mocked in a high tone, “it’s just one year!”

You shook your head, following after him as he walked up two floors. “Pottery?” You asked confused once you saw a sign on the door you halted in front of. He didn’t include that in any of the ideas over the last week, so it took you off guard. Not pegging him for the type, you looked at him as he opened the door that was left open by whoever owned this.

“Yeah, pottery. Jimin told me you never tried it, so I figured we could learn something,” he trailed, walking inside the open room where a register stood with a woman behind and a few people walking around. “Hello, I called,” he greeted the woman behind the desk. “Jeon Jungkook?”

The receptionist nodded, making a noise of understanding as she scrolled through the computer in front of her. “Yes, there it is. Room 3, it’s right to the left once you lead the hallway.” He nodded, looking where she pointed and after you greeted the woman yourself, the both of you walked towards where she instructed.

“C’mere, you’re so slow,” Jungkook teased as he looked back at you and stood in the room. You grumbled something about your short legs, he couldn’t hear everything, but laughed his heart out at your grumpy face.

“Do we do this alone? Aren’t we getting instructions on what to do?” You threw into the almost empty room. There were stools and round tables, you figured they were where you could do the pottery. On the side of the room was a table with already made cups and bowls that were drying and next to them sat black plastic boxes. “What’s in these boxes?”

Before he could take a guess, you walked to them and opened one, seeing clay inside. “Ooh, so this,” you grabbed a clump, “is what we use?” He chuckled at your many questions as he sat on one of the stools in front of a table.

“Bring it here and let’s do this,” he grinned. Taking the clump, you dropped it on his table and went back to close the door, figuring that you really wouldn’t have an instructor. You sat down on the other stool, scooting it closer to Jungkook to watch what he was doing. “My knowledge about this is limited to tiktoks and youtube videos, I’m just saying,” he warned, serious look on his face until it cracked.

He dipped his hands in a water bowl that stood next to him on the floor, tapping the chunk of clay and applying pressure. When it worked, both your eyes were wide and you made a sound of amazement. After he made a high pole, he pressed it down and used his thumbs to make a hole and rounded his hands to cup the outside, bringing it into a circled form. “I’m making a cup!!”

You continued watching him for a bit and then decided to get working yourself, getting clay from the boxes and patting the mass, forming it up, pressing down but…, “my clump doesn’t like me.”

You looked over at Jungkook with a pout and presented the flat cake of wet clay, a small dent where your thumbs sat. He giggled, standing up and putting his chair next to yours, much closer than before. “Gimme your hands, let me lead,” he said, holding his hands, that were full of clay, in front of you and waiting for your smaller ones. “Now that I’m thinking of it, we should’ve covered our clothes with something,” he thought out loud. It broke the tension that started to build and let you laugh about him freely.

Now that he leaned over your shoulder and held your hands in his to help you form the clay, it seemed like the spinning mass was playing just a side character. His incredibly good scent rose up to your nose again, filling your thoughts of him and his much bigger frame. The way he leaned over you and you felt his hair tickle your ear, sometimes feeling his cold earring on your cheek when he leaned even more in, was intense for you. Thinking was hard when all your brain could process was him.

Just when he managed to archive the cup form, your thoughts stopped being foggy, brain clearing up a bit. “Look at us, we’re out here making cups! Look at this,” he almost roared, excitement clear. His arms were tight around you and he wiggled you with him, holding your hands in his, all full of clay. You cheered too, trying to turn your head to look at his smile. But suddenly, he seemed even closer, immediately looking into your eyes and you gulped, feeling the heat rise to your neck and face. You stuttered back, making him stand up and removing his arms from around you.

“We should uhm, wash our hands,” you said, stiff and shy. He nodded and added that the hour was almost over and you’d need to be out of the room anyway. “What about our cups?” You asked, puppy eyes on display and almost speaking in a high, watery tone. He chuckled, assuring you that he can get them once they call him. When you left the room, you not only found a washroom but the woman who owned this place. She greeted you and asked if you had a good time, mentioning that they will put your cups out to dry and can either pick them up or come and paint them too. With hopeful eyes you looked up at Jungkook and without even seeing your pleading face, he agreed that you definitely had to paint them.

Once she left to remove your cups from the tables and set them out to dry with small name tags in front of them, you and Jungkook left to wash your hands. The restroom wasn’t gender seperated, since the house was originally meant to be actual living place. So there you stood, both incessantly rubbing your hands to get rid of the clay.

Jungkook got done much quicker than you did, not in the mood to make your skin sensitive so you rubbed carefully along your skin. “I don’t think I can get it off,” you pouted. “My skin will hurt if I scrub them too harshly.”

He took your hands in his and started carefully smoothing off the partially dried clay on your fingers. Once he was sure that your hands were clean again, he turned off the water and dried both your hands with the towel, patting your skin rather than rubbing even more. You held back a coo, finding it incredibly adorable of him to take care of you this way. When he looked up from your hands, your eyes met and the tension from back in the pottery room was building again.

“Y/N, would you hate me if I said that I really want to kiss you right now?” His voice was held quiet, considering that other people could request the washroom as well. You shook your head twice and scooted closer to him. He wore a small smile and reached down, taking one of his hands from your still towel wrapped ones and holding the side of your face and neck with it. His thumb caressed your cheek and he switched from looking into your eyes, down to your lips.

After a final moment of giving you the chance of declining, he closed the distance and kissed you softly. There was barely any pressure for the first few seconds, until he moved back and licked his lips, kissing you again but much more determined.

You reciprocated the kiss immediately, filling all your senses with Jungkook and not getting enough of him. An eager, tiny moan slipped out from your lips when he pulled off for a short moment, turning yours and his own head a bit as not to clash noses. He chuckled breathily into the kiss and let his hand roam to the back of your nape, getting you closer to him. He let go of your hands completely, taking the other one and holding you softly by the waist. He took a step forwards, leading you blindly against the sink and the kiss grew desperate. Your breath turned heavy and you couldn’t hold back from pressing against his lips more. Laying the towel down behind you, you grabbed at Jungkook’s shirt around his waist and held onto him. A whine slipped past you when he tentatively licked against your bottom lip, asking for more but still taking it without thought right after.

You both flinched when somebody knocked against the door, calling, “could this be hurried up a bit?” Jungkook looked at your face with flushed cheeks and swollen lips, eyes wide for a moment before he broke out into his wide smile again. He held your face with one and your hip with the other hand still and leaned a bit back to give you space to breathe.

“We’ll be out in a minute!” He exclaimed loud enough to be heard outside and looked back at you. “You’re okay?” His eyes held something in them but you didn’t have time to analyze it, nodding and turning to hang the towel up where it’s supposed to be. He took your hand in his, surprising you and opening the door. A middle aged white woman stood in front of the door, giving you both a judging look before Jungkook said, “that clay sure is tough to get off, huh?”

After that you left, laughing about the woman’s face and praising each other for the cups you made. Jungkook suggested milkshakes and burgers after you drove for a little and happy with the idea, you agreed.

After the food, not definable if it was more lunch or dinner by the time you were eating, Jungkook dropped you off at your place, wishing you a good almost night and saying that he’ll text you when he’s home. You blushed as you asked him to close his eyes and went in to plant a kiss on his cheek. His eyebrow jumped up at the contact and when he opened his eyes again, he grinned. You waved after you closed his door and turned around to walk into your apartment complex, smiling widely.

“Did you guys fuck tho?” Jimin asked you, hand raised and flopped over when he stood in the doorway with his weight on one leg and his hip popped out. His lips were pursed and he raised his eyebrows in expectation. You laughed lightly, shaking your head.

“No, we just,” you bit your lip, “kissed.” It was clear he didn’t buy it but he let it slide. Nodding multiple times, he walked over to the couch and flopped down.

“So, I assume you fell for my little trap, huh,” he grinned. “I was right about thinking you guys would work out, he’s the right amount of gentleman for you.”

He was right about this, you did enjoy Jungkook’s company and you started regularly texting and meeting up, sometimes just casual without the whole pressure of a date around it. He stole some kisses from time to time, always grinning too cute to get scolded for it and secretly, you loved getting attacked with his smooches when you least expect it.

“When is he gonna ask you out? What’s he waiting for?” Your noisy best friend opened up his snacks, throwing some into his awaiting mouth and chewing obnoxiously. You shrugged your shoulders, walking from the kitchen isle to the couch and joining Jimin.

You snuggled into the couch, next to him, watching a movie, when the door bell ringed. “Did you invite someone?” You looked up at Jimin from where you rested your head on his shoulder. He shook his head, watching you as you got up to see who was at the door.

The peephole revealed that Jungkook was standing in front of your door and you never opened it this quickly. “Gukkie! What are you doing here?” You squealed, falling into his arms. You weren’t expecting him at all, haven’t seen him for a week now and missed him the most. He chuckled, putting his arms around you and kissing your head.

“Had to visit the baby,” he talked into your hair, beaming in the affection. Giggling, you looked up, chin on his chest and grinning. “Hyung?” He asked, wide eyes and pitched voice.

Jimin greeted Jungkook back and they fell into small talk, you taking the opportunity to get some drinks, you and Jungkook’s selfmade cups for each of your drinks and a store bought one for Jimin. 

The cups were painted white by your request and once they dried you and Jungkook were able to paint them as you liked, making it your fourth date at the time. You painted the cups for each other, making it a surprise but both ended up with an equally cute design. Jungkook painted your name in his squiggly handwriting and added a heart next to it, painting a smiley and flowers. On his cup you painted colorful swirls on one side and on the other one you painted two stick figures representing both of you.

Once you sat back on the couch, Jungkook between you and Jimin, the teasing started. “Cute show you guys gave me, is there gonna be more later?” Jimin’s eyes were glinting with mischief.

Instead of laughing like you did, Jungkook slapped Jimin on the back and grinned stiff, “you could also just leave?” They both laughed overly exaggerated at it and slept each others backs, until Jimin took Jungkook’s head underneath his arm and rubbed his hair quickly, creating heat.

“Respect your elders, Jungkook. But you’re right, I should go,” he looked up in thought, “Yoongi is probably missing me,” he swooned. After standing up and pushing Jungkook into the couch one last time, he hugged you and took his leave right after.

Jungkook took a sip of his drink and tsked at how Jimin left his untouched, smiling at his cup like he did every time he was over and you gave it to him.

“Ah, my plan worked well,” Jungkook smirked, placing the beverage back on the table in front of the couch, leaning back into the comfortable pillows and looking at you. “Let’s cuddle, c’mere.” His voice turned soft regarding you, opening his arms and inviting you with a wiggle to his brows.

“Why are you here, Guk?” You murmured after a short moment. He exhaled and sat up a little, rasping his throat.

“I actually wanted to ask you something,” he said, very serious but the corner of his mouth moved up on his own. “Can we play Mario Kart?”

You blinked at him, bursting into laughter. “This is a very serious matter, Y/N. ” His face was stern, looking at you with no hint of humor.

“You made Jimin leave so we can play a video game?” The question wasn’t really in need of an answer, but Jungkook nodded anyway.

“You can be Peach and I’ll be Mario,” he said as he stood up and searched the drawers of the TV table for the remotes.

“Why do I have to be Peach? I always play Toad.” At this, Jungkook turned around abruptly and shook his head.

“No, that wouldn’t make sense,” he said. He was confusing you and your face made that clear but he was too busy with checking if the remotes had batteries in them, turning on the console and picking out the game of his desires.

“What are you trying to archive with this?” You giggled. “Why can’t I play my usual character?”

He pursed his lips and rolled his eyes up to think. “Okay, well… let me word it differently.” He walked towards you, still sitting on the couch, and placed the two remotes to his side. Sitting opposite of you with crossed legs, he bit his lip and looked as his fingers as he pulled on his sock. “I want you to be my girlfriend,” he said timidly, looking up at you to catch your reaction.

You smiled, because it’s simply Jungkook. He could always act like the annoyingly confident guy but he’ll never hide how shy he really could be. 

Nodding, you breathed, “yeah,” and squealed when he took you into his lap with a smile. “But can I still be Toad?”

© 2020 @jiminsfault. All rights reserved.

[sevlgi]

when I miss you

requested: yes

group: mamamoo

pairing: wheein x fem!reader

genre: angst

contents: idol!au

warnings: none

synopsis: Wheein’s always on your mind, but it’s torture when you’re missing her.

a/n: read part 2 here!

word count: 2.2k

Almost every minute of every day, you think of Wheein.

It’s perfectly natural to think of your girlfriend all the time. She’s everywhere- a photocard of her is in your phone case, and she’s your lockscreen and wallpaper on your phone. To everyone else, it just looks like she’s your idol, but you’ve been hiding a relationship all this time.

Somehow, you’re still stuck in your honeymoon phase, even after going steady for almost 2 years.

It’s hard to date an idol, but Wheein makes so much time for you that you barely realize it. Recently, as you prepare to finally debut, you’ve been spending even less time together, which is why you’ve been thinking of her even more today.

You’re going over to your girlfriend’s apartment today, and you’ve been staring at the clock all day, pining for when practice will be over and you can kiss your girlfriend.

During dance practice, the heavy bass thumping through the studio sounds like Wheein Wheein Wheein, and you can’t help but imagine her reaction when you finally debut. To be honest, you can barely focus on the dance itself. 

“Y/N, pay attention, please,” your leader Heeyun sighs, a benevolent smile nonetheless gracing her face. “There’s barely 10 minutes left, let’s just finish practice.”

10 minutes? You perk up when you realize that Heeyun’s right, 9 minutes ticking away slowly on the clock. The steady thrum of Wheein Wheein Wheein low in your chest grows louder, and you whine, “Please, Heeyun-ah, we’ve worked so much today!”

Another one of your members chuckles, looking at you fondly. They all know about your relationship with Wheein, and they’re unbelievably supportive. “Y/N’s right, we can stop for today. Is Wheein unnie excited for our debut?”

Nodding, you scramble up to start pulling your sweatshirt over your head. “Unbelievably, she always tells me to practice hard, but I can tell it’s hard for her to not spend time with me.”

“Ew, just go,” echoes in the practice room, giggles bouncing off the walls. Slinging your bag over your shoulder, you wave a goodbye, Wheein Wheein Wheein still pounding in your heart.

Wheein’s apartment is barely 15 minutes away from your company when walking, which you’re very glad for. It isn’t rare for you to head to her apartment right after work instead of your dorm, though you try to give her space too.

You don’t even know what the two of you are planning to do, you’re just excited to spend any time you can with your girlfriend. All day, you’ve been thinking of what to say, what important details of your life to tell her and which ones to ask for.

You smile at the feeling of your fingers clasping around the cold metal of the spare key Wheein gave you, your initials etched into the metal, the familiar smile you give to the receptionist.

All of it has always been a comfortable constant in your life. You remember running through the halls with tears streaming down your face on the hard days, with a huge smile on the good ones.

The elevator ride to Wheein’s apartment is the same length as always, each of the 67 seconds punctuated by the thrum of Wheein Wheein Wheein. Your steps are timed perfectly with the beats of your heart, smile growing wider at the click of the door opening for you.

As always, the apartment smells like your girlfriend’s favorite perfume, a sort of sweet yet sharp smell. You’re surprised when Wheein doesn’t immediately pounce on you for a hug; in fact, she’s nowhere to be seen.

“Jagi?” you call out, closing the door behind you, eyes scanning the apartment. It’s not the first time your girlfriend has pranked you. “Where are you?”

The bedroom door swings open immediately, a tired-looking Wheein emerging. “Sorry, I didn’t hear you at first.”

“S’okay,” you grin, opening your arms for a hug and nestling your nose into her hair.

You’re surprised again when she pulls away quietly just a few moments later. It’s completely unlike your goofy, cuddly girlfriend, and you can only stare as she walks to the kitchen. “How was practice?”

“Um, good.” She’s obviously avoiding your eyes, studiously concentrating on the cup of tea she pours out. “Still on track for debut, anyway.”

“Good. You still have a few weeks, right?”

Wheein finally faces you, and you can only notice stress pulling her eyebrows together and darkening the circles under eyes. “Y-yeah,” you manage to say, your own forehead creasing as you step closer. “Jagi, are you okay?”

A beat of silence passes before she sighs, biting her lip. “Y/N, we need to talk.”

“Well that’s not good,” you joke, trying to alleviate the tension in the room. It doesn’t work; your girlfriend still looks stressed. “Okay, what do we need to talk about?”

A beat of silence passes before she looks up. “I think we should break up,” Wheein finally says.

You can only stare for a second, only managing to say, “Wh-what? Is this a prank? This is a prank, right?” She doesn’t look like she’s pranking you; every time in the past that she tried to pull a trick, she’s never been able to look as serious as she does now.

“Come on, we should sit.” Once you’re both situated on the couch, knees almost touching and facing each other, Wheein sets her tea down and starts to explain. “You’re debuting soon. Your group will be much bigger than mine, and you won’t be able to hide our relationship like I do.”

“No, I-”

She holds a hand up to stop you, continuing, “It’ll hurt your image, Y/N, for a rookie to already be dating. We’re not a normal relationship either, do you understand how terrible it is to be gay in Korea?”

You bite your lower lip, your mood significantly worse than before. Of course you understand the stigma about LGBT people, but you tried not to think about it much. “I… yeah, I do, but we can do it, we’ve already hidden it for so long.”

Wheein frowns, genuine sadness in her eyes. “You were a trainee, Y/N-ah. I don’t want to bring you down, so… so I think we need to break up.”

It feels like everything’s unraveling at those little words, your entire life coming to a halt. Just a few hours ago, you had everything you ever wanted, and it feels like it’s all just being taken away. “I…”

“We can still be friends,” she offers, hands over yours. “You know, we don’t have to cut off contact.”

“Yeah.” You feel numb, heavy, like you’re watching something you can’t control. “Um, I think we should reschedule this hangout. My members and I have more practice to do.”

She smiles, though her eyes don’t crease like they do when she’s really happy. “Sure. Call me sometime, okay?”

You both know you won’t.

For the first time, you hate the thrum of Wheein Wheein Wheein in your head, the pounding low in your stomach making you nauseous and irritable.

As always, she is the only thing you can think of, but now, you find yourself constantly trying (and failing) to push her out of your mind.

Your members stare at you with sympathetic looks in their eyes, expressions that you also fail at ignoring. Luckily, you haven’t seen any of Wheein’s members since the incident; they probably look even more saddened. 

Of course, your good luck doesn’t last. You’re collapsed on the dance floor, sweaty and tired, your members chattering quietly, when all of a sudden they go quiet. When you lift your head, you scowl at the sight of Yongsun.

“Hi, everyone.” The cheery note in her voice sounds false, but maybe your mind is just twisting everything. “I brought you desserts!”

“Yongsun unnie, you’re too sweet,” everyone else choruses. When you don’t move to get up for the snacks, the blonde approaches you herself.

She makes an attempt at a smile. “Hey, Y/N. Listen, I can’t stay long, Wheein’s waiting for me outside, but… I wanted to say I’m sorry.”

“For what?” The words seem to bite at Yongsun; even you have to admit that they’re far sharper than they had to be. “It’s not like you had anything to do with it.”

“Please don’t hate Wheein for this,” she sighs, dropping to the floor next to you. “It’s not her fault, it’s mine. Byul and I, we were the ones who told her that it’d be difficult to hide your relationship once you debuted.”

Your eyes narrow, but you shake your head. “Doesn’t matter. She chose to go through with it. I don’t hate her, Yongsun unnie, but I can’t forgive her either.”

A beat of silence passes before Yongsun stands. “Okay. I understand, but will you talk to her? She… she misses you.”

I miss her too. “I don’t miss her.” The lie tastes bitter on your tongue, but you know it’s what’s right. You need to move on, and you can’t do that if you’re still hung up on Wheein. “You can tell her that.”

The look in Yongsun’s eyes is nothing less than heartbroken as she purses her lips in a smile and bows lightly to you, then your members. “I gotta head out, everyone,” she calls out. “Good luck on your stage, we’ll be watching!”

You don’t join the chorus of ‘thank you’, your throat seemingly clogged when you see Wheein’s face through the glass of the dance studio. 

Wheein Wheein Wheein.

Your breath shakes when you exhale backstage. Heeyun sings scales to warm up beside you, and Soonja mumbles her rap; others rehearse the points of the dance, even more touching up their makeup.

At the moment, you can see Wheein talking to the camera, MC’ing like her life depends on it. She doesn’t look nearly as wrecked as you feel, her dimples as pretty as ever and her eyes smiling. 

It’s totally unfair.

Of course you should be more nervous for your debut stage, but it’s difficult when your entire mind is fixated on one person. Wheein Wheein Wheein thrums in your chest in time with the pounding bass of someone’s performance; your hands clutch at your sternum as if they can quiet the noise.

They can’t.

“And the winners… QSR!”

The crowd’s cheers are deafening, but the smile on your face feels like it’s plastered on. You can vaguely hear the cries and laughter of your members around you, but your fingers are numb when the clutch onto your trophy.

More importantly, your eyes are fixated on Wheein, who stands a good 5 feet away from you as she claps. She’s steadily avoiding your eyes, waving and smiling at the crowd, but she approaches you with a bouquet of flowers. “Congratulations,” she murmurs, barely loud enough for you to hear.

“Thanks, sunbaenim.”

The formal term seems to hurt Wheein physically, but she recovers quickly. “I look forward to your success.”

With a bow, she retreats to go and congratulate your other members. To be honest, it pains you when she hugs Heeyun with a huge smile that you know would have been yours too. 

You can’t focus even during the encore, and there’s no emotion when you sing your lines. Wheein Wheein Wheein feels more like steady stabs at your stomach tonight.

Over time, the pain dulls. It gets easier to see Wheein, which is good because you see her too often for your own liking. Your members offer to stop hanging out with Mamamoo, but you insist that you’re fine.

You’re not.

It’s not like you’re recovered; no, the pain of Wheein Wheein Wheein just feels more like a dull punch than a stab now. You’re no longer hurting, but you’re like an empty shell.

Your new fans assume that you’re just a quiet person, but you’re not. On the internet, they wonder why your members seem so close with everyone in Mamamoo and you won’t give them a passing glance.

But there’s no way you can explain to them how numb you feel to everything; even when your first MV hits 500 million views, you can barely smile in the celebratory Vlive. Even when your group earns your own lightstick, when you’re declared the rookie of the year, you feel nothing.

And you hate that so much of your group’s fame comes from articles wondering why you seem to have no emotions. You hate that your bond with everyone is destroyed, that your friendships are ruined because of you.

Most of all, you hate that you’re still not over her. You hate that the thump of your heartbeat still sounds like Wheein Wheein Wheein, and you hate that you still think of her.

You hate that she seems fully over it, happy and smiling like she didn’t break your heart. You hate that you still keep the key to her apartment on your dresser.

You hate that you still miss her.

[dinglemingle]

Lies that kill the soul (Ao3)

The pale light of the moon reflected on the two men,their flushed cheeks and messy hair the only evidence of what they'd done in the shadows.

Ben pulled his jacket on,and let out a breath he didn't know he'd been holding. He looked at the man before him ,who in this light looked more like a boy,soft and vulnerable

"You alright?" he asked tentatively

"Yeah I'm fine" Callum mumbled,running a hand through his now tousled hair

"I've got to go,Whit will be wondering where I am" he looked down at the ground,shame pulsing through his body, unable to look at his dirty little secret.

Ben scoffed as Callum hastily turned to walk away

"So is this it? You just gonna go back to her like nothing happened? Keep lying to her about who you really are?" Ben called after the man,who had stopped dead in his tracks

Callum spun round,darting at Ben with fierce intent

"Who I really am? You don't a thing about me" Callum was in his face now,his hot breath burning into his Ben's skin

Ben studied the older man,who's eyes were like sharp,steely daggers

"I'm straight,and I love whit"

"We just had sex Callum, last time I checked you don't get hot and heavy with a bloke if you're straight"

Ben stood staring,he didn't know what he'd expected from Callum but he thought maybe things might have changed considering what they'd done

"Shut up" in the dark of night the words echoed and hit Ben even harder, he'd seen Callum angry before, but this was something else, something buried deep inside

"You like men,you can't deny it forever" he moved toward Callum,his hand gently outstretched, hoping to break through to the fragile man before him

Callum slapped his hand away "I can cause I'm not like you" he paused snapping his head round to look at Ben  "I'm not one of them."

Callum's words were laced with spite and years of oppression. The self hatred burned inside him, bubbling to the surface as he locked eyes with the man he so desperately craved.

"One of them? wow" Ben raised his eyebrows and struggled to hide the amusement in his voice, Callum was a joke.

Looking at his phone Ben contemplated leaving,he'd had enough of Callum. It wasn't his job to help him come to terms with his sexuality, he wasn't some gay fairy godmother,and besides,he could easily find some other hot date for the evening.

His thoughts were disturbed by Callum's hoarse tone

"I don't wanna be gay" Callum choked out, sitting on a damp bench next to him

Ben was taken aback by Callum's tone,he sounded weak. Suddenly all thoughts of finding another hook up vanished,and Ben was sitting next to Callum, gazing at the man with worry

"There's nothing wrong with it,Callum it's not some curse or disease" Ben tried to reassure him,not wanting him to suffer

"No,you don't get I can't be gay,It's not me" His voice was strangled and barley audible, despite the quite of the night

"Right so your just gonna pretend for the rest of your life,deny yourself of happiness and love? And what about Whitney? It's not fair to force that upon her too." Ben wasn't Whitney's biggest fan,but he knew she didn't deserve to be Callum's beard

"But I love Whitney, I'm happy with her. She's what I want." Callum buried his head in his hands, forcing himself to believe the words he wished were true

Ben wanted to shake Callum, make him see that he no matter how much he said it, didn't mean it was true. Force him to to accept himself,but he knew he couldn't, he'd have to let Callum go through the motions,and pray he'd see sense

"Okay, maybe you do love her,but is it in the way you should love your girlfriend? Or more like the way I love Lola." Ben was careful,he didn't want Callum to have another outburst

Slowly tilting his head up, Callum's glistening,wet eyes met Ben's deep, concerned ones. The pair just looked at eachother deeply, before Callum looked away. He had answered the question without saying anything, the truth was written all over his face,no matter how much he wished it wasn't.

"And what about when you're with her,do you actually feel anything? Ben pushed for more,he knew he shouldn't, but he selfishly wanted to know how he compared to her

For a while Callum didn't speak, just fixated on a tree in the distance, Ben accepted that he'd gone to far and went to speak, before Callum's bleak tone interrupted

"I feel empty." His voice matched the words, the hollowness drifting from Callum into Ben

"And then when it's over, I lie there with her in my arms and I feel nothing" he continued,pain and torture releasing itself

Ben couldn't help but want to pull Callum into his arms and take all the hurt away

"I feel nothing Ben" his gaze finally shifted from the tree and onto Ben's face. This time his words came out as a cry and without warning he collapsed into Ben's chest,a sobbing mess

They sat in silence for a while, minutes feeling like hours,as Callum sniffled into Ben's shirt. Ben stroked the older man's back and played with his hair, wanting the broken man curled into his chest to be peaceful and content.

In the night,with no one there to distract them,Ben felt like right here in this moment they were the only people on earth,he forgot about everyone else,Callum in his arms was all that mattered.

"It's okay, you'll be okay" Ben broke the silence,pressing a soft kiss to Callum's forehead

Then slowly the crumpled heap rose from his chest and sat upright. Callum's features were soft,he looked comfortable and like he was going to say something, something kind and sincere

The phone in his pocket had other ideas, lighting up with a text

Hey babe,where r u? I'm going home,love u xx-Whit

Callum peered at the text,and then his lockscreen,a picture of him and Whit,him kissing her cheek,her grin from ear to ear,the look of love in her eyes. He sighed, knowing he couldn't break her heart.

Standing up,he wiped the damp from his jeans and looked at Ben, knowing what he had to do

"This changes nothing" he saw Ben's face drop as he spoke the cruel words

"What" Ben stood up, confused,he thought Callum opening up meant something

"I'm straight,Whit's the one,and this" He flippantly gestured his hand between them "This meant nothing" Callum took one last look at the man in front of him before trying to turn

Ben grasped his arm before he had the chance,and spun him around aggressively. Their eyes met, Callum's still pained and full of longing

Ben stared intently, before opening his mouth

"You know the longer you run,the longer you live in denial,the worse it'll get. It will eat at you,until eventually it will destroy you completely,and that's when it'll kill you."

With that and one last glare,Ben shoved past Callum and disappeared into the night,leaving the older man alone in the crisp air,feelings of emptiness still lingering deep inside.

[incorrect-hs-quotes]

oohohoho you just opened the deepest can of worms on the planet

-mod dave, who wrote a fucking ten mile essay

first off, addressing the second anon, no theyre all humans. h., half humans at least. cause yall know me i fucking love my humanstuck aus off my ASS

(that would be funny as hell though. a troll from space walking into a camp on earth going “I AM THE SON OF ONE OF YOUR EARTH GODS. BITCH” like... holy shit)

so first things first their parents. im gonna lay this out, the beta kids and trolls are all greek (EXCEPT sollux hes roman cause his parent has no greek equivalent), and all the alpha kids and trolls are those gods roman equivalents (,,EXCEPT dirk cause he kinda balances sollux being roman out). i havent figured out how thatd happen like 16+ times yet cause in the percy jackson books theres only ever been one instance of two siblings of the same godly descent being greek and roman respectively in HISTORY so like.. i guess th. i guess thats just not a problem in this au

anyway this gets really long so im gonna talk about the beta kids and trolls cause i havent elaborated on the alphas at all ((peep the tags if you wanna see their parents though))

johns the son of zeus, rose is the daughter of athena, dave is the son of apollo, and jade is the daughter of demeter. they were all raised in their respective states, all had to come to new york for various reasons. jades been there the longest, shes been there 9 years and shes been on a couple quests. her biggest accomplishment so far is how she protected the camp from this big vicious angry hellhound that got past the barrier. naturally the girls fluent in Dog Training, so she steps up and instead of trying to kill this thing, she reaches out and tames it as fast as she can. it ends up actually working, and ever since that day she, her cabin, and the camp have a whole bodyguard sleeping right outside the demeter cabin! hes her steed in battle and hes a Very Good Boy. and his name is becquerel

johns the newest kid at camp, he has no idea who he is or why the fuck his school got attacked or why in the hell those anemoi thuellai were so fixated on him or HOW in the hell he absorbed the lightning one threw at him and ended up fine,,, hes just a big mess right now. a big enough mess that when he got claimed by literally zeus, no one else was around, he shrugged it off as some basic magical happening, and he stayed in the hermes cabin far longer than he should have cause no one! fucking knew he got claimed! by zeus of all people! dumbass. he ends up figuring it out though. like an off-hand mention about how this “weird lightning thing appeared above my head a couple weeks ago, haha weird right?” once he figures it out he realizes “hey i might be able to fly” so he sneaks off into the woods to try it. he succeeds fairly quickly but god almighty everyones face the one day the dude just yote himself off a small cliff without warning,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

dave and rose are really tight, theyve been there roughly the same time length, and since their cabins are across from each other they just bother each other all the time. daves the resident Doctor even though he really doesnt look it cause hes got the apollo powers. apollo is the medicine god. so if you wound your stupid ass in battle daves in the ER room patching you up with his glowy hands. rose on the other hand is a very good strategist. shes one of the only athena kids ever recorded to actually have a power - telekinesis. she has no idea how she developed it, she thinks its from birth, but it freaks her out. shes training it though.

so the beta trolls, are also all human(ish). aradias hades kid. but i pulled a pjo trope on her based on one of my favorite characters (im not saying for spoilers, but if you recognize the situation, You Probably Know Who Its Based Off) and aradia died. her mom, the handmaid, had been pulling some Shady Ass Shit and ended up getting herself killed, but aradia tried saving her and ended up going down with her.

so handmaid gets sentenced to the fields of punishment in the underworld, and aradia gets sentenced to elysium, heroes paradise. shes like “no i want my mom to be okay” so they take that away from aradia and they put them both in the fields of asphodel, the neverending grey space for Not So Good But Not So Bad people. her mom becomes a shade (shadow spirit, no human resemblance), as all people do, but aradia. doesnt? and she gets dunked in the fucking river lethe and if you dont know what that does it erases your memory. so she just. comes out of the river like “hello? wgat tae fukc goin on??” but she still remembers one thing. there was an “a” in her name.

tavros is the son of hermes, hes just kinda taken on the role of backup counselor for when the actual cabin counselor is out. hes in a wheelchair, but he also has prosthetic legs for when he needs to actually stand up and fight. hes really good at it too. also catch him in winged converse cause he Owns Those and Uses Them To His Advantage. hes trying his best to keep focused on the camp, cause aradia was his childhood friend, he misses her a whole lot, she never got to camp in the first place. and to his knowledge, shes still dead.

sollux is a janus kid. thats a problem cause janus is roman, and this is a greek camp. he grew up with dave, he showed up with dave, hes been at camp as long as dave. but hes been unclaimed since he showed up so he thinks hes unwanted by whatever parent he has. he knows hes a demigod, he got through the camp barriers, so what the fuck is wrong with him? he also feels shitty cause hes shit at the greek lessons, he cant read a lick of it which literally every demigod without exception should be able to do, he cant name any gods- well, he can, but.. he gets their names mixed up. why does he keep calling poseidon “neptune”? and he has a much, much different way of natural fighting than other kids. they slice, he jabs. he wasnt taught to jab. 

karkat is an aphrodite kid with vitiligo, and to make matters worse, hes ace and on the aro spectrum. to make matters WORSE, the aphrodite kids are kinda notorious for being really shallow, really materialistic, and really mean. karkats been dubbed the “runt” of the cabin, he gets made fun of for his spots to the point where he uses make up and magic to conceal them. worst of all? hes the kid of the goddess of love, for fucks sake. being reminded that “loveless people shouldnt be able to stay in this cabin, mom must have made a mistake claiming you” is kind of.. a blow to the self esteem. long story short he hates aphrodite for claiming him, and would have rather stayed in the hermes cabin. but he eventually goes on this big quest thats vague as fuck right now but Its The Main Plot, he ends up proving to himself that hes worth something and that his siblings are wrong, and my FAVORITE LINE IN THE WHOLE THING i came up with is HIS when he deals a final blow to some big monster: “REMEMBER MY FACE THE NEXT TIME YOU REINCARNATE. MY NAME IS KARKAT VANTAS, I’M THE SON OF APHRODITE, AND LOOKS CAN KILL.”

nepeta isnt anywhere near developed as others are unfortunately, shes a daughter of ares and shes really really good at hand to hand combat. shes small but she leads groups of people in things ranging from camp volleyball games to actual literal wars. shes a tough little shit

kanaya isnt really developed either, i have yet to figure out most of her powers too actually, shes a daughter of iris, the rainbow goddess though. (blatant reference to both kanayas vampirism and. h. her. sh. es ga. gay) ONE THING SHE CAN DO THOUGH is iris message at will without water or drachmas so really shes just everyones go to cell phone and its fucking hilarious cause people just come into the cabin like “KANAYA I NEED TO TALK TO [X]” and shes like “You Better Fucking Pay Me I Am Not Your Personal Cell Phone”

terezi is the daughter of nemesis and she has this really peculiar power she hasnt really gotten the hang of yet. she has synesthesia, so while she cant see she can smell and taste the colors of her surroundings and its really helpful. sometimes though she gets messages from her mom. they dont even come as dreams half the time, they come as almost a different plane altogether. tez has the power to literally tip the scales, pretty much. and when she gets like that, she can see. shes not on earth though, shit on earth stops when shes like that. shes just kinda In Her Own Head, i guess? and in her head she holds the two scales in her hands. she is the arms of the scale. and depending on which one she lifts up, she can literally alter the fate of the battle or happening thats going on By Herself. once she chooses she just whooshes back to real life though and nothing has changed. the only downside? it takes a LOT of energy and cant be exploited for little things. her one thing on her bucket list is to tap into said powers while getting something from a vending machine so like three things will fall out but it hasnt happened yet and shes upset

vriskas a daughter of tyche, the luck goddess, come the fuck on you knew i was gonna, i havent really elaborated on her either and im upset about that. but hey now you get a break from all those fucking paragraphs

equius is a hephaestus kid, and he kinda stays in the background. hes a range fighter, he spends a lot of time in the forge, and even though its been a project looooong since forgotten, hes been excavating the tunnels under cabin nine for years. by himself. he has no idea where they lead, but dammit hes gonna find out where. he has no idea about a certain bunker in the woods though...

gamzees just there for a fucking laugh tbh hes a son of dionysus and i love that cause hes the god of wine and parties and insanity. usually gamzees just zoning out somewhere hes Not supposed to be, and hes not affected by the maenads FUCKED UP BULLSHIT that goes down the forest sometimes. also hes so fucking scared of tavroses wing shoes he tried them on once while he was high and JESUS CHRIST

eridan is the son of kymopoleia, a SUPER obscure goddess. lets just say dont fuck with eridan cause his mom is the goddess of violent sea storms,

and naturally, feferi is the daughter of poseidon. cause who the FUCK else would she be the daughter of. WHO. NAME ONE GOD

OH AND JUST CAUSE I FORGOT CALLIE AND CALIBORN ARE SATYRS IN THIS AU. CALLIE HAS PAN PIPES. and caliborn still has a gun

[rosedavid]

I honestly don’t know how I wrote this much, but it just happened. 

Tyrus ‘what if’ oneshot based on these lines: “I’m sorry.” // “I was probably deluding myself anyway.”

Tag list: @swingsetsandmuffins @chlarkthe1st @turtle0verl0rd

Why does it hurt so much?

Cyrus asks himself this question a lot nowadays. When TJ’s text notifications light up his phone, when he spots TJ standing at his locker between classes, when TJ sits with Kira during lunch. Every time, a lump forms in his throat and unshed tears burn his eyes. His friends tell him to stop wasting his energy on TJ, that he doesn’t deserve Cyrus anyway. So Cyrus tries to ignore him and pretend like everything is okay. Somedays, he wakes up and thinks that today will be the day that he feels like normal again. He’ll be able to walk right past TJ without even noticing him. That day still hasn’t come. 

Of course, Buffy and Andi have noticed the subtle changes in Cyrus’s mood. Although he’s admittedly much better than right after costume day, when he went and cried into his pillow in his room, he still feels a hole in his life. He smiles a little less and laughs a little quieter. More often than not, he’ll reject hanging out with his friends unless they’re at someone’s house because he worries he might run into TJ.

Due to these changes, convincing him to come to The Spoon after school is a difficult feat.

“Come on, Cy, it will be fun,” Andi prods. “Don’t you miss baby taters?”

“Not when my parents can get takeout and bring them home to me.”

Buffy decides to chime in next. “I know you’re still hurting, but you can’t let TJ ruin things for you! He’s not worth it. Please come, you know the two of us would never let anything bad happen.”

Cyrus knows she’s right. With everything going on in their lives recently, they all deserve a nice day to relax. He looks at his best friends who eagerly wait for his response. Finally, Cyrus let’s out a deep breath he didn’t know he was holding.

“Yeah, you’re right. And I’m sorry I’ve been so out of whack this week.”

“You lost a good friend, of course you’re out of whack. Besides, I think all of us are struggling with stuff right now,” Andi sighs, placing her head in her hands. Buffy nods in agreement.

A good friend.

Why does it hurt so much?

Deep down, Cyrus knows the answer. He just doesn’t want to admit it because if he does, everything will change for the worse. The special moments between them, the words of encouragement, and lingering touches will mean more; therefore, the heartbreak, the sense of betrayal, all of it will be stronger. So he pushes it back.

At one point in time, Cyrus did have hope. In fact, TJ asking him to do the somersault costume gave him the most hope of all. He felt wanted and perhaps even special. Then, it all came crashing down.

Despite everything that TJ has put him through, Cyrus can’t bring himself to despise him. He can’t even bring himself to be indifferent about TJ. Instead, all he feels is sad and lonely, and he hates himself for it. He still has Andi and Buffy and Jonah here for him, but TJ always filled a different part of his life. Now, that part of his life is an empty chasm.

The remainder of school drags on. The only thing that makes it go faster is that Cyrus doesn’t see TJ once. Nevertheless, lately he fixates on the other boy whenever his mind is wandering. Once school finally does end, he gets excited to hang out with his friends and distract him. Whenever he’s around them, they make him happy.

“Hope you’re hungry for baby taters,” Andi says as they walk to their typical booth in The Spoon.

Cyrus chuckles. “Always. Don’t forget the milkshakes.”

Buffy grins, sliding in beside him. “So, you guys will never believe what happened today in biology…”

That gets them started. Cyrus finds himself not even thinking about TJ.

The bell above the door chimes. That’s when everything goes wrong.

At first, Cyrus pays them no attention, his back to the door. Then, he notices Andi’s face drop at the same time rambunctious laughter starts up. He turns his head toward the front of the diner. It’s some of the members from the boys’ basketball team, and of course that includes TJ and Kira. Are they ever apart? Buffy turns to look as well, face turning into a sneer immediately.

“Don’t worry about them, Cyrus. Just ignore them.”

Cyrus hears Buffy’s voice in the back of his mind, but he’s more concentrated on TJ. This is the closest the other boy has been to him in a long time. He can almost make out the freckles along his cheeks. Then, TJ catches his eyes. Blue lock onto green. Cyrus can’t make himself look away. TJ swallows, opening his mouth slightly as if to speak.

“Oh look, we found the loser table,” Kira taunts, pointing at them. Beside her, TJ says nothing. He drops his mouth closed, eyes moving down toward his feet.

Cyrus can’t deal with this any longer. He rises from his seat, pushing past everyone to go straight out the door. This time, he can’t prevent the tears from leaking out. Seeing him right there with Kira, so close yet so far, it hurt too much. He didn’t even do anything, like he didn’t care. Did he ever care?

“Wait! Cyrus!” Andi calls after him.

He keeps going, not sure where he’s headed. All he knows is he needs to get as far away from TJ as possible. His feet carry him farther and farther, vision blurry from tears and breath short. He still hears footsteps behind him, signifying Buffy and Andi following him.

He’s at the park. This is where everything with TJ started, so it’s only fair it should end here, too. Cyrus can’t bring himself to sit on the swings, so instead, he heads for a bench nearby. Soon, Andi and Buffy come into sight, both wearing sorrowful expressions. They sit down, as well, sandwiching him between them.

“Are you okay?” Andi asks.

Cyrus laughs bitterly. “It just hurts, seeing TJ there with her. It reminds me that he chose her over me. I can’t even blame him! Most boys would’ve chosen her.”

He kicks at the dirt beneath his feet, trying to calm down. His tears slow but refuse to stop completely. Meanwhile, Andi and Buff wrap an arm around him to pull him into a side hug.

His breath hitches. “The worst part isn’t even that I liked him, it’s that I thought he was starting to like me back.”

With the gentlest voice he’s ever heard from her, Buffy whispers, “I’m sorry.”

“I was probably deluding myself anyway,” Cyrus admits with a sniffle.

It hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts

Suddenly, Andi and Buffy tense up beside him. Cyrus brings his head up and pales. He starts to make a move to leave in a hurry. His friends seem to agree with him, following in his footsteps. That’s when TJ speaks.

“Please, wait,” he begs, voice gritty. Cyrus realizes this is the first time TJ has said one word to him since costume day.

“Come on, let’s just go,” Andi urges, but something compels Cyrus to stand his ground.

“Why should I?” He questions. “After everything you’ve done, why should I listen to anything you have to say?”

TJ steps closer. “Just let me explain, please. After that, you don’t have to talk to me ever again if that’s what you want.”

For a split second, Cyrus considers just walking away and not listening to what he has to say, but he can’t. Something seems different about TJ, and not in a good way. Even though they haven’t been talking for a long time, Cyrus knows him. He’s acting off. Maybe it will make things worse, but Cyrus decides that he at least needs some kind of answer.

“Ok.”

“What are you doing, Cyrus?” Buffy worries.

Cyrus turns and smiles slightly at her. “It’s alright, I promise. Wait for me over there?”

The two of them cast him lingering glances before they warily walk away to give them privacy. Cyrus collapses onto the bench. TJ perches on the opposite end. The space feels greater than ever before.

“I miss you,” TJ sputters out.

The desperation in his words make Cyrus want to forgive him then and there, but this time won’t be so easy. “Why did you do it, TJ? Why did you abandon me?”

“I didn’t want to! I was really excited to do our costume, but I just…I couldn’t.”

Cyrus throws his hands up. “That’s not an explanation TJ! Do you know how hard this has been for me? Seeing her with you all the time, knowing that you chose her, it makes me feel like you never really cared about me.”

“That’s not true, I swear!”

“You made me feel special,” Cyrus says, voice cracking. “For once, I didn’t feel like the second choice. But I guess, in the end, I was.”

“You never were, Cyrus,” TJ promises. “I shouldn’t have abandoned you on costume day. I’m a horrible person, but I would never choose Kira over you.”

“You already did.”

“She didn’t leave me any choice!” He shouts. “She didn’t…I had to.”

This throws Cyrus off. “What are you talking about, TJ?”

“I’m a coward, okay? I’m a huge coward. The way she said it just set me off. I couldn’t risk it.”

“Risk what?” Cyrus asks, feeling more and more concerned.

Beside him, TJ is close to hyperventilating. He has tear tracks on his cheeks and runs a hand through his already tousled hair. He looks so unguarded, unlike anything Cyrus has ever seen from him, even when he was coming to terms with his dyscalculia.

Cyrus scoots closer so their shoulders just barely brush. “Hey, you can tell me anything.”

“I don’t want you to hate me,” He murmurs.

“Honestly, I don’t think I could ever hate you,” Cyrus admits. “Even after the whole costume debacle, I tried so hard to hate you, but I just couldn’t.”

TJ brings up a hand and wipes it over his face. His fingers clutch a bundle of his hoodie. After debating with himself for a moment, Cyrus places his hand on TJ’s shoulder. This movement causes TJ to startle and glance up. Cyrus flashes him a gentle smile.

“Kira, she said it was weird of me to be doing a costume with you instead of her,” TJ explains, “and the way she said it…it sounded like she was implying something that I wasn’t ready for people to know.”

A beat of silence.  

“I’m gay.”

Cyrus tugs him into a hug. His heartbeat pounds against his chest. TJ exhales shakily into his hair, causing Cyrus to grip him tighter. Neither of them moves for a while, but finally Cyrus pulls back as he has something to say.

“Thank you for telling me. You’re no different, TJ,” Cyrus emphasizes, remembering back to when he first came out to Buffy. “I just can’t believe Kira did that! I’m sorry.”

“I’m the one who should be sorry for putting you through all of this.”

“You don’t need to apologize. I understand now.”

The two of them move closer as if they’re being pulled by magnets. Cyrus has never been this close to TJ before. He can almost count the individual freckles on his face. He sees the flecks of gold sparkling in his green eyes.

“There’s one more thing, though,” TJ stammers. “Another reason why Kira made me so nervous. She also insinuated that not only would I rather do a costume with a boy over a girl, but that I’d rather do a costume with you specifically because I kind of really like you, Underdog.”

A blush tints Cyrus’s face. “I kind of really like you too, Teej.”

He places a hand on the side of TJ’s face, grinning. He grins back. They both lean in at the same time, closing the small distance between them. TJ’s lips are soft and warm and taste like mint chapstick. They kiss only for a second, but it sends tingles racing through Cyrus’s body. When they separate, they accidentally bump noses and giggle.

All the sudden, they hear gasps from nearby. It’s Andi and Buffy, both standing there with wide eyes and slack jaws.

“What the—” Buffy frowns, tilting her head. “I don’t understand.”

Andi agrees, a dazed look on her face. “Me neither.”

Cyrus glances up at TJ, waiting to see his response. To his surprise, he doesn’t look angry or upset. In fact, he appears joyful. Leaning back Cyrus lets him take the lead in this.

TJ starts, “Well, it’s a long story…”

[msjr0119]

Forgive me

Part 2- Selfie

A mini series, includes suicide and abuse.

Based on true events but using TRR characters who are owned by Pixelberry.

@annekebbphotography @burnsoslow @drakesensworld @ladyangel70 @kingliam2019 @bbrandy2002 @butindeed @bascmve01 @drakewalker04 @pedudley @captain-kingliamsqueen @duchessemersynwalker @insideamirage @of-course-i-went-to-hartfeld @kozabaji @texaskitten30 @ibldw-main @kimmiedoo5 @nikkis1983 @dangerouseggseagleartisan @gnatbrain @walker7519 @lodberg @cmestrella @hopefulmoonobject @addictedtodrakefanfic @angi15h @liamxs-world @rafasgirl23415 @notoriouscs @yukinagato2012 @dcbbw @qammh-blog

*****

I was considering asking you if you’d both return to Cordonia with us. Leo would want you both to be supported and cared for. I’m willing to do that with everything in me.

Riley stared at him, his eyes were sparkling every time he fixated his gaze on Lucas. She wanted him to have a relationship with his nephew. Leo would have wanted that too. Constantine. Regina. The two people who were the tip of the iceberg for Leo’s death. As long as they were still alive and breathing, Riley wouldn’t step foot into their country.

“Liam. I’m sorry. I can never come to Cordonia.”

“Why not? You are both my family. I will look after you both.”

Riley, Leo and Rob went out for a night out. Riley had kept making excuses up- since she had given birth to Lucas she never wanted to leave his side if it wasn’t necessary. Beth, Lola and Daniel had all agreed to babysit the nine month old baby and had encouraged her to let her hair down.

The trio arrived at the local gay bar, the atmosphere was electric, music blaring in every section of the room.

“I’ll get the drinks. You do know you both may have to carry me back - nine months without drinking a drop of any alcohol will go straight to my head.”

“Baby, don’t worry. We will do a leg and wing. And i promise we won’t drop you, right Rob?”

“Of course! You’re safe with us even if we are you know ‘puffs’. We will be your wingmen tonight.”

Riley brought a tray over to the table, full of different shots- creating a riot of colour.

“Are your tongues superglued to each other? God I feel like such a gooseberry right now.”

“Sorry Ri. I might put him down at some point. I’m just so happy for once in my life.” Riley smiled at the two of them, her heart filled with happiness with how much in love they were with each other.

“Rob, I believe you have something for Leo. I think now might be the best time to do it.” Rob smiled and soon bent down on one knee. Leo covered his mouth with his hands.

“Leo Rhys- when we first met, you were Prince Charming, I love you with all my heart. You make me happy every single day. I’m so glad Riley encouraged you to talk to me that night. I know you two on paper are married, but here I hold a ring which is a symbol for my love for you, it’s an eternity ring. Because I want to spend eternity with you.” Leo kissed Rob on the lips, it was slow to begin with but deepened. Breaking the kiss he turned to Riley.

“This is why you told me to remove my wedding ring?” Riley nodded, then wiped her tears away. “Robert I love you so much. You have made my life worth living. And Riley you are the best friend anyone could ask for.”

“That I am. Now I’m feeling slightly tipsy. I’m going to get a cab and return to the penthouse. Don’t worry I’ll be fast asleep, so you lovebirds make as much noise as you need to. Love ya both.”

Riley arrived back at the penthouse, slightly drunk- she bent down as she struggled to put the key through the hole. Squinting her eyes and swaying she eventually managed to open the door. Jumping out of her skin,seeing strangers in the penthouse she began to panic.

“Who the fuck are you? And what are you doing in my penthouse? Get the fuck out before I call the cops!”

“Is that anyway to talk to your father and mother in law? It’s so nice to finally meet you in person, Riley. You really shouldn’t leave the spare key under the plant pot. Where’s my son? And where are your wedding rings?”

Shit shit shit.

“Ohh, they are being cleaned at the jewellers. And he’s out with some friends. Why don’t you come back in the morning? At a more suitable time. When neither of us are drunk- and you can meet your grandson Lucas.” Riley quickly got her phone out of her bag, attempting to text Leo to stall him. As it was done discretely and she was drunk it came out like gobbledygook.

An hour went by and Leo nor Rob had responded. Riley tried every attempt and excuse to get her in laws to return in the morning.

“Tea? Coffee? I sure need a coffee. I’m ready for bed.” Riley exaggerated a yawn hoping they would understand the hint.

Before Constantine or Regina could respond, Leo and Rob fell through the door- tongues battling with each other. Constantine and Regina looked disgusted.

“Leo!” His Father bellowed. Riley held her hands in her head. They had been so careful keeping his secret. It had now been exposed.

“Oh father. Nice of you to pop in UNEXPECTEDLY!”

“Please tell me you are not homosexual?”

“No they do it all the time. I do it with my girlfriends Lola and Beth at times. Isn’t that right guys?” Leo gave Riley a thankful look, but he knew it was time to come clean.

“Riley is lying to protect me. This is what I am. This is the real Leo Rhys. I’m still me. I’m happy with Rob. And I love Riley as my best friend.”

Constantine grit his teeth together, as his eyes widened.

“Begin to love your wife! You are my son. You are not homosexual. You are a Prince. I will not tolerate this.” Constantine witnessed Leo hold hands and hold Rob in his warm embrace. “You are not my son. You never will be.” Riley noticed Constantine raise his hand as he moved closer to Leo, pulling the king back he elbowed her in the face accidentally before slapping Leo across the face. “Both of you begin to love each other! You will not bring shame to our country!”

“Get the fuck away from him! Don’t you dare touch him like that again! I don’t care what you do to me. He’s your son!”

Bastien stormed through the door, wondering why his King and Queen were taking so long. Attending to help Riley, he had sorrow in his eyes- what commotion he had missed?

“Leave her Bastien! She’s as bad as he is. We are leaving! Neither of you are welcome in Cordonia, for as long as I breathe.”

*******

Riley finished explaining the reason for why she could never go to cordonia even if she wanted to. Tears began uncontrollably falling down her face- smudging her mascara.

“Riley. If I knew. I’d.. I’m so sorry. But I am the Crown Prince. The future King. I will protect you both. He will never lay a finger on you ever again.”

“Liam I’m not going! I’m sorry. You’re always welcome to come here and see Lucas. Come on let’s feed the ducks before he falls asleep again.”

Liam didn’t want to argue the toss with her and upset her any more. Instead he carried Lucas over to the edge of the pond, holding him tightly- laughing and smiling with his nephew as they threw the bread into the pond. “Ducky.” Lucas screeched, whilst clapping his hands in a frenzy- once he had calmed down from the excitement he wrapped his arms around Liam’s neck. Placing a kiss on his nephews forehead, he never thought he would instantly fall in love with someone.

Riley admired the view in front of her- not the scenic view surrounding them, but the unconditional love and bond between Lucas and Liam. Taking a picture of them both, she would send it to Liam- their first memory together.

“Come and join us Mommy.” Liam said with the biggest grin on his face. They spent a while just sitting near the pond. Riley and Liam sat opposite each other, with Lucas in the middle- attempting to encourage him to walk. With help from Riley, he stumbled a bit but made that achievement of making his first step. Both Riley and Liam cheered, clapped and smiled at each other. Riley lift him in the air, spinning him around and kissing him. Daddy would be so proud of you. Mommy and Uncle Liam are proud of you too. Well done baby. Liam stood up and congratulated Lucas by giving him a high five.

“Can I take a selfie of us? Just a memory to take back to Cordonia?”

“You know what a selfie is? Of course we can have a selfie.” Riley did an over exaggerated shocked face, before bursting out laughing.

“I don’t live on Mars, Riley. Come closer to me. Smile.” Placing an arm around her, he held her close, Lucas sat on her lap- she tickled him to make him laugh showing off his gummy smile.

“Aww. That’s a nice photo. You’ll have to send me it.”

“Yes it is. I’ll treasure this day. Thank you. I’ll take you both home. Keep in touch?”

“Of course.” Liam helped Riley stand up, pulling her into his embrace holding Lucas in one arm- he wasn’t sure when he would be able to see them both again. This uncertainty broke his heart- but he was willing to put in the effort. His father may not have supported Leo during his life, but Liam was going to try his damned hardest to look out for Riley and Lucas even if they lived miles apart from each other.

*****

Liam had taken Riley and Lucas back home, holding back the tears as he walked away- he had hoped that she would reconsider his offer. It’s not goodbye- it’s a see you later, were the last words she spoke to him. He saw the fear in her eyes when she reiterated the story about how Leo’s secret was exposed. Her words made his imagination work over time, he pictured the scenario in his head of what happened that night.

Heading straight to the hotels bar, he ordered scotch after scotch. Once he arrived back in Cordonia, he was needing to have stern words with his father and step mother.

“Hey Li.” Liam turned around and saw Maxwell, Drake and Bastien smiling at him- all eager to find out how his day at been. Raising his glass up to them, gesturing them to join him for a last drink before they head back to all the drama that was awaiting them.

“Are you okay buddy?”

“No. I mean yes. I don’t know Max.”

“What happened? Did you meet Lucas? What is he like?” Liam got his phone out of his tuxedo pocket, showing his friends and guard the selfie.

“He’s amazing. He looks just like Leo. But his laugh and smile- he gets that from his Mom.”

“Aww he is a mini Leo.” Maxwell screeched.

“You and Riley look close. So why the sour face?” Drake questioned. Liam had ignored all their phone calls and texts all day. So they assumed their ‘date’ went well or that he had actually turned into Leo - mimicking his infamous vanishing tricks.

“I asked her and Lucas to come back to Cordonia with us. She refused. She said she’s not welcome. My father threatened her and Leo.”

“I was there that night Sir. I overheard Riley putting up a fight. She loved Leo - she defended him. Maybe in time she will come when she’s ready.”

Drake’s mind was ticking, he didn’t know the full story as to why Riley feared visiting Cordonia. The photo showed how happy Liam was with his nephew.

“Guys. I’m not returning with you. My mom just asked me to visit her whilst I’m in the states. I’ll be back in a couple of days. I’m going to the airport now hopefully to catch a flight.”

*****

Riley had finally settled down Lucas after he put up a good fight to stay awake. Laying on the sofa, she felt her eyes feel heavy- but needed to tidy up her sons toys. Sending Liam the picture she had taken of Lucas and him, he replied with a kissing emoji only. Believing that he was being cold because she refused to go with them- she just simply text back ‘it was nice to finally meet you. Don’t be a stranger x’

After completing the quick spring clean, she was about to settle down herself until there was a knock at the door. Answering her mouth was agape.

“Drake? What are you doing here? I thought you’d all be travelling back now.”

“They are. Tariq went home earlier this morning. The others boarded the royal jet around two hours ago. It’s taken me two hours to track you down.” Drake rubbed the back of his neck, he had gathered that she was going to be stubborn but he had to try his best to convince her and Lucas to go to Cordonia even if it was for a brief visit.

“Listen, please hear me out. All my life Liam has been there for me, looked out for me- Leo too. I’ve lied to him saying I was visiting my Mom in Texas. He is going to be going through hell next week with the social season, he’s found out that his brother has died, he has a nephew and he’s confronting his father the minute he gets home. Considering all this, that selfie showed him smiling- when he arrived back he was melancholy. Please come back with me. If you feel uncomfortable I will personally bring you back. We will all look after you and Lucas. I’ll even get down on my knees and beg.” “Beg then.” Riley had a serious expression, he wasn’t sure if it was just a poker face.

“I wasn’t actually being serious. But fine I will do it- I’ll beg.” He knelt down and begged, providing puppy dog eyes and a pet lip. He looked ridiculous, Riley threw her head back laughing hysterically.

“If I come, you’ll have to sneak me in. I’m not exactly Constantine’s favourite person.”

“Fuck Constantine. Liam never wanted to do the social season, but after explaining this old Connie confessed he was dying. He convinced Liam to go ahead with it. That was before he knew how he treat Leo. Once he’s gone, Lucas is all he has for family. Yes he has Regina, but she’s his step mother- not true Rhys blood.”

“Are you trying to guilt trip me Drake?”

“I’m just speaking the truth ma’am.”

“Come in. Make yourself at home. There’s whiskey in the bottom drawer.” Drake’s lips curled up- damn this girl knows me too well. Hearing her rush about he had hoped that he had convinced her to go with him.

“I’ve just literally thrown everything and anything into two suitcases. Here hold this.”

“What the fuck is this?”

“It’s Leo.” Drake gently placed the box on the floor- holding it at a distance, he panicked.

“You cannot be serious Riley. I’ve just held my deceased friend. And you didn’t even warn me.”

“It’s just ashes. Jesus Drake! I thought we could take some of it- scatter it around his childhood home. Myself and Rob haven’t really decided what to do with him. It’s been months and we still can’t decide. So maybe just take a bit of him back to Cordonia?”

“You were his wife. You decide. If you’re ready, I’ll take your suitcases downstairs and wait for a cab whilst you finish off.”

Sneaking off downstairs, he quickly text Maxwell. Knowing they would still be travelling- he needed to inform someone, anyone why he was deceitful before he abruptly left them at the bar.

******

Landing in Cordonia, they were jet lagged. Liam knew he needed some type of adrenaline rush- his aim was to find his father as soon as they arrived at the palace. Sitting in the SUV, Maxwell finally received signal on his phone- a notification from Drake.

Guys don’t be angry with me. I’m not in Texas. I’m waiting for a cab to go to the airport with two strays. And possibly a third stray- I’ll explain when I see you. I went to find Riley and convinced her to come. Do not tell Liam! I want it to be a nice surprise for him.

“Li, I’ve got a text from Drake. Do you want me to read it out?” Liam nodded. As Maxwell finished reading it out loud- he knew Drake would potentially kill him. If he could have foreseen what the last sentence said he wouldn’t have read it out loud.

“They are coming?” Maxwell nodded, and witnessed Liam smiling. Pulling his own phone out of his pocket, he traced his finger over his screensaver. The selfie of him, Riley and Lucas.

They are coming. Thank you Drake.

[notwritinganyflufftoday]

On a Scale from 1 to 10

There's nothing that grounds Pippa more than having her little routines. A big part of her life, the subject she has made her life's calling has to do with parallel universe theories based on the intricacies of the human mind. A complex blend between metaphysics and neuroscience and most days it's tough to keep her head screwed on straight. If she didn't have a routine down, she would be a lot less sane than she is today.

She runs on a schedule, wake up early to get to university classes and be there ten minutes before class starts in order to have enough time to buy a cheap coffee from the cafeteria. Wednesdays, do fitness with Doran and work on that upper body strength, also stamina training. Friday nights are movies and pizza nights with Coby, they've recently started on campy '90s horror movies. Sundays, time for the weekly Kingston family dinner, which now also includes Heather, Maureen' s girlfriend and Eli, Sam's boyfriend. And on Saturday afternoons she meets up with her older brother Sam.

It started out with Sam asking her to meet up the day before family dinner to tell her he was bringing Eli to dinner the next day because they were finally officially dating. And he could really use someone already in the know at the dinner table who could diffuse awkward conversations.

Then Pippa had done the same but with announcing to their parents that she wanted to live on her own, closer to campus.

And now it's become another part of her routine. Where they meet up depends on the season and the weather. As it is now the middle of summer, their venue of choice is the bar in Arden Park, which allows them to sit back and sink their feet into the grass while enjoying a cool and refreshing cocktail, or iced tea whichever they prefer at the time.

The bar is crowded as is only expected with the hot temperatures, and Pippa and Sam find themselves a nice spot in the shade. It's not the most private place, but as the two most shameless members of the Kingston family it doesn't prove as much of an issue.

They are very much creatures of habit, so their conversations always start the same way.

SAM How's uni?

PIPPA Tiring. How's school?

SAM The same. Way too many assignments.

PIPPA Ugh, good luck with that. And Eli?

SAM He's good. How's Doran?

PIPPA Getting better every week. Building up that upper body strength.

With that out of the way, they can start on the actual conversation, and it seems Sam has something he's dying to talk about.

SAM Speaking of upper body strength... is Eli fit?

PIPPA Er, he's your boyfriend, I guess you should know that yourself.

If Sam could, he would've rolled his eyes, instead he shakes his head with a snort.

SAM Yeah, trust me, I know he has biceps for days.

Pippa groans, 

PIPPA Sam, no one says that anymore. Wait, I don't even know if that was ever a thing people said.

SAM Yeah, yeah, my lingo is old and outdated. We've been over this, Pipsqueak.

They have, many times in fact, but that isn't going to stop Pippa from teasing him when the occasion arises. And when Sam retaliates with one of his lovely nicknames for her, it is only fair.

SAM So?

PIPPA So what?

SAM Is he fit? Like, in an attractive, “he looks fit”, way?

PIPPA What does that even mean? Can you be fit and unattractive?

SAM Of course, if your face is all-

And here Sam pauses to do a weird hand motion waving in front of his own face.

SAM - ugly and gross, then it doesn't matter how muscular you are, does it?

Pippa takes in a deep breath, and pushes her sunglasses up in her hair, to really look at Sam. His shoulders are a bit hunched and he absentmindedly scratches his cheek.

PIPPA First of, if you just dared to imply you look ugly I'm gonna need you to stop before I organize the next family intervention.

SAM There's no n-

PIPPA And secondly, since when do you give a flying fuck about appearance? Mister "Beauty is subjective and societal norms are a load of crap".

SAM Well, yeah that's all true, but can't I just be curious? (beat) So, how would you score Eli, objectively?

PIPPA This is ridiculous, I can't say that because as I've learnt from my older brother, how you perceive someone's appearance is inherently subjective.

SAM What about Maureen? She- she ought to be a bit more objective about it.

Pippa can barely hold it together and has to stop herself from bursting out laughing.

PIPPA Because she's gay?

Sam doesn't give a reply, doesn't even crack a smile, he just fidgets with the half-empty glass in his hand. His face turns to the ground, where their feet are resting in the grass. He's never acted like this, so self-conscious and fixated on his own and others's appearances. Something must've happened and Pippa is going to figure out what.

PIPPA (continuing) Let me text Maureen to ask her.

And if she texts someone else in the meantime as well, Sam doesn't really have to know.

PIPPA There, done. (beat) Now spill.

SAM Spill what, sister?

Oh, he's adding a little humor in now, trying to deflect and act as if nothing is wrong. Pippa isn't falling for it.

PIPPA What happened, Sam?

SAM Nothing. It's stupid, really.

PIPPA Tell me anyway.

SAM Last Tuesday Eli and I went to the Midsummer festival and because of the heatwave, we just went out wearing tank-tops and shorts. But because Eli's body is like a freaking furnace, he still felt too hot, so I just said, why don't you take your top off. Which he did and- and...

Sam sighs heavily and frown lines settle on his forehead.

SAM (continuing) Some woman turned up and started chatting and flirting with him while I was right there.

PIPPA Surely, Eli blocked her off?

SAM Yeah, he told her he was with me and when he did I just, I-I just felt this woman freeze up, as if she was thinking, "really, this freak?"

PIPPA Hey! Don't call yourself a freak. People like her, they're the ugly ones.

SAM (softly) It's okay.

PIPPA No, it's not. You deserve to be happy and I hate that this shit still happens. (beat) Did you talk to Eli about this?

SAM No, no, I don't want to make him worried or upset. 

PIPPA Sam, he deserves to know what goes on in that head of yours.

SAM I know, it's just... I've never had problems with this before and it's making me anxious.

PIPPA All the more reason to talk about it, don't you think?

SAM I'll think about it.

Pippa knows by now not to push him too much and this is about the best outcome she could hope for. Her phone buzzed a while ago, twice, but she only pulls it out of her jacket pocket now.

PIPPA I've got a reply from Maureen. Do you still want to know?

SAM ... Yes.

Pippa's eyes scan over the text message and she grins.

PIPPA She wrote that she doesn't know either and that quantifying the attractiveness of your partner is, in her words, "quite rude".

Sam reclines in the chair and throws his hands up in the air in frustration. Pippa notices the person standing behind Sam and waves at him. Sam doesn't notice, and complains loudly.

SAM Can't anyone tell me on a scale from 1 to 10 how attractive my boyfriend is?

ELI He's a ten.

Sam jumps up from his seat in surprise and Eli puts his hands on Sam's shoulders to push him gently back in his chair and leans in to give him a peck on his red cheeks. Sam smiles softly and places his hands on top of Eli's.

ELI Oh, you were asking about me? Well, I guess I would be around a seven or eight? What do you think, Pippa?

PIPPA I'm keeping myself out of this one.

SAM (hissing) Yet you didn't think to warn me.

Pippa slides her sunglasses back on her nose and completely slips back in her seat. 

PIPPA And ruin the surprise I so carefully and lovingly planned out for you? (beat) Nope, don't think so.

SAM You're my least favorite sister.

PIPPA Bastard.

I love you though, you stupid, sensitive, caring, insecure, cool, idiotic twat of an older brother.

[lovelyrhink]

for @daddyrhett

it’s sunny in the park, golden bright like spring days in may should be. link’s parked on a bench with his son’s stuff, watching as his boy tumbles down into the grass. lando leaps up with mud on his knees and gives them a half-hearted swat before running off again. his dad smiles to himself, a bittersweet loneliness coming over his heart. part of him wishes lando’s mom could see how confident lando is when he’s on link’s side of the city, maybe then he’d have a little longer with him, more than half the summer. 

it’s hard for his son, going between worlds. link knows that his ex-wife can’t go without seeing their son’s smiling face any longer than he can, but the back-and-forth wears him out, and lando, too. sometimes link feels guilty for putting his son through it, wishes he could’ve settled down with lando’s mom and given him a sister or brother, but it’s just not how life worked out for them. link’s caught in his sorrow, but perks up when his son waves at him from across the park. 

“hey, buddy!” link shouts, and the achey part of his heart swells with love when his son laughs and chases after another boy. link’s about to slip back into his head when someone approaches and points at the two boys playing.

“that your son?” he asks, and link looks up, squinting through the sun because the man is really tall. he motions his hand as if asking to sit, and link scoots to give him space, which he so clearly needs as he joins link on the bench, thick thighs falling spread. there’s a flutter in link’s chest at the man’s bigness.

link admires the handsome stranger, fixating on his beard before answering. “yeah, lando. he’s ten. is that one yours?” 

nods, “shepherd. eleven. he seems to like making your son laugh.” 

link looks from the stranger to their sons, who are now chasing each other ‘round a tree and throwing dirt clods at one another. link shouts not to throw anything with a rock in it and breathes, settling into the peace. spring birds chirp as the dads sit, taking a moment to admire the boys before greeting each other. 

the bearded dad holds out his hand, and it’s huge. “rhett,” he says, and link shakes, offers his name in return. “you and lando come here often?” 

“yeah, when i have him,” link answers, and there’s a twinge of loss in his voice that might go unnoticed, but link’s eyes betray him when they glance down.

“ah,” the stranger shifts. “i’m sorry. i know how that is.” a young child screams in the space between the words, and when link’s brave enough to look again, he finds the stranger studying him. his eyes are gold-green in the sun and as sharp as his features are. sloped nose and full beard and perfect hair, link lets himself stare a little bit too long, and when the man speaks again, his lip quirks like he doesn’t mind being looked at. eyes on the park, the stranger says, “if you don’t mind me saying so, your kid’s pretty damn cute. cherub-like.” 

link huffs, breathy agreement. “he’s got his mom’s face.” 

“when does he go back to her?” rhett reads between the lines but doesn’t shy from the topic, which link appreciates. it’s like he can sense link wants to talk about it, without any of the bullshit still-married people usually give him. 

“two weeks.” shallow breath. “hey, don’t feel obligated to talk to this divorced dad just because he was sitting alone and looked sad.”

rhett knits his brows, which link thinks look tweezed, or at least hopes are. “i talked to you because our sons might become friends. and you’re not the only divorcee on this bench, i’m single too.” rhett glances at him, and link catches something that seems nervous. “i mean, a single dad.”

tension melts from link’s shoulders. the stranger felt trustworthy before, but now link feels like he can speak honestly. rhett watches him, sensing as if he’ll say something, silently encouraging link to speak. “sometimes i feel so bad for lando. it’s not his fault his mom didn’t want to stay married to a gay man.” 

link’s heartbeat quickens when he says it, but something about the man is too gorgeous, too honest for link not to. rhett offers a measured breath and turns his attention back on the park. shepherd is at the top of the slide now, with lando scrambling up behind him. he mimes peering through a telescope as if playing pirates, and when lando joins him, link thinks they look like fast friends. 

“me and my wife,” rhett starts, “were always more like best friends. we loved each other very much, but we’d been together since high school and she wanted to see other people. i’m not gay, but i’m not straight, and she knew me well enough that she wanted me to explore my attraction to men. it’s always hard breaking a marriage, even when it’s completely mutual.” 

rhett keeps his hands in his lap when he speaks, but link notes a slight squeeze of his thighs when he mentions not being straight. his story is endearing and somewhat familiar, and link finds himself leaning in. he’s usually attracted to men who know how to speak their feelings, and with this new information, link lets himself feel. sure, rhett’s good-looking, but link’s taken with him, appreciates his vulnerability. “thank you for saying that.” 

“and thank you for wearing your pain in your eyes.” rhett regards him, and the look cuts hot through link’s belly. “most people hide behind their masks like they’ll die of shame if they don’t.” 

“thank you,” link repeats. “but really, i’m okay.” rhett stares him down, and the intensity has link searching the play-structure for their sons. he finds shepherd atop the slide with lando, now seated under the arch with heads pressed together as if conspiring. link’s son makes a happy face, cupid’s lips smiling.  “i just miss him sometimes, even when he’s right in front of me.”

rhett nods but otherwise makes no verbal answer. it’s refreshing, letting the silence fall, leavings things unsaid. the dads sit in quiet for the next ten minutes, enjoying the sun and their sons playing beneath it. on the eleventh minute, rhett calls to shepherd in a booming voice that it’s lunch time. in the moment it takes for shepherd to gallop back to them, lando on his heels, rhett and link exchange a few more pleasantries. 

when the small ones approach the bench, rhett introduces link to his kid, and link does the same. then he asks lando, “did you make a new friend?” in answer, his son beams the biggest smile link’s seen in a while, and it inspires link to do what he had already planned on doing. confident, he grins at rhett and does it.

“we should exchange numbers,” he says, “so the boys can play.” 

beardy smirk, rhett stands to fetch his phone. shepherd pulls on his sleeve and mumbles something about boba, then pizza, then sandwiches, and rhett fuzzles his head. “what do you think, shep?” the dad gestures at link’s son and asks, “you wanna hang out with this kid again?” 

shepherd presses his thin lips and feigns studying his new friend. “he’s okay.” 

lando rolls his eyes, telltale pursed lips a recognizable happiness. he kicks at shepherd’s sneaker, “whatever,” then tells his dad, “i want lunch, too.” 

“okay, okay.” link takes rhett’s phone and hands his over, and they type in their numbers as their sons poke each other. the men swap mobiles, and link sees that rhett’s saved his contact as rhett (shepherd’s dad). it makes him feel warm and tingly, and link smothers the burn in his cheeks by collecting their things. 

when he looks up, shepherd’s wandering off towards the car, hungry and impatient to do something about it. lando stays back with his dad as he says goodbye, and this time when rhett takes link’s hand, he squeezes. rhett lingers a moment too long in link’s eyes, and they pull back, locked in a moment. 

“i’ll call you,” link says, and lando tugs his belt loop. 

shepherd whines from the parking lot, and rhett’s lips twitch. “i’d like that.” 

[malloryslourd]

Switchblades & Stormy Nights | The Outsiders AU | Part 2

Pairing: Misty Day x Reader

Warnings: Some Strong Language, Suggestive Themes, Use Of Alcohol, Mentions Of Drugs, Mentions Of Violence

Words: 5,824

—————

"Wait, someone died?"

"No," John looked over his shoulder at Madison, quickly meeting her eyes before going back to work on his laptop. "Almost died. I swear you never fucking listen," he muttered the last part, hoping for it to go unheard. As soon as the girls had returned to his apartment both him and Behold started to fill them in on the events that happened just minutes before they left.

There had been an altercation of sorts downstairs. From what John had heard from his equally as nosy neighbors was an argument had broken out between two men downstairs, leading to the fight and 911 being called. Supposedly it only happened just a minute or two after the girls walked out the building.

Zoe looked over at Y/N, resting her head in the palm of her hand. "Maybe that's why you had such a weird feeling," she suggested the idea as a half joke. There was really no explanation for why Y/N felt the way she did, but hey, maybe this was why. Of course, it sounded crazy, but everything they were involved in was crazy.

Coco gasped dramatically, everyone looking at her. "Oh my God! What if you're, like, a fortune teller?" her eyes were wide like a three-year old's in a candy store, mouth agape. She loved the idea, thinking it was just so great to have a fortune teller friend. This could solve just so many of her problems. "Tell me my fortune!" she looked over at Y/N with a wide smile on her face.

Y/N turned to Coco, a blank stare on her face. "Oh, something's coming in," she deadpanned, putting a hand to her forehead dramatically. "I see it now, you're a dumb bitch and will continue to be one," everyone else busted into laughter loudly. Coco was quite obviously offended, a shocked expression on her face as she looked over at the witch. Y/N couldn't help but take the opportunity to make the joke, knowing just how sensitive the blonde was. "Oh, don't start pouting you idiot."

Mallory's phone started to ring, attention settling in on her. She took a second to inspect the caller ID before picking it up. She shifted positions in her seat, humming lightly in response to whoever she was on the phone with. "Yeah, I'll ask," she looked around the room, everyone still fixated on her and the phone call. "Club tonight?" Mallory tilted her head slightly, waiting for a response.

"It's a Tuesday!" Zoe practically screamed. "A fucking Tuesday! What is with you guys and Tuesdays-"

"-We're going out," John held a hand up, cutting Zoe before she could continue.

—

"Hurry the fuck up!" Madison stood outside of Y/N's room, banging on the door as some type of motivation for the witch to start moving faster. And it really hadn't been working for the past hour, so it wasn't seeming too hopeful. Y/N was usually one of the first people ready for a night out, but it obviously wasn't one of those days. "Oh my God! Come on!" she stomped her foot angrily, banging on the door once more.

Queenie walked up to Madison, arms crossing over her chest as they both stared at the door. "Has she even responded?"

Madison shook her head, huffing loudly. "No, but if she doesn't hurry up, we're leaving without her!" she hit the door once more, the sound ringing through the house.

"We're taking my car you dumbass! You can’t leave me if I'm the only reason we leave!" Y/N's voice was barely audible from the hallway.

"Where's my gun? Oh my God, I'm literally going to shoot this bitch," Madison stormed off, leaving Queenie laughing softly at the situation. She hurried pass Zoe, almost knocking her off her feet when they bumped shoulders.

Zoe looked back at Madison with wide eyes, shocked by the witch's demeanor. She looked back at Queenie, mouthing a 'What the fuck?' causing Queenie to laugh louder. "What's her fucking problem?"

Before Queenie got a word out, Y/N's bedroom door swung open, more than aggressively. The girls looked at her, eyes going wide and mouths falling open. "Oh God, what?" Y/N's face covered with worry. She looked down at the dress she was wearing. It was a simple black mini dress, but it made one Hell of a statement. "Is it bad? It's basic, and I know it's a little tiny, but I think it's cute… right?" she smoothed out the black fabric. She leaned on her doorframe to balance herself as she put on her heels.

Queenie shook her head as she looked over Y/N's outfit. "You look so fucking hot!"

"Agreed," Zoe laughed lightly as Y/N let out a soft 'Oh' in relief. "When did you get this? Why haven't you worn it before?" she looked at Y/N in awe, still taking in her outfit.

"Come on! We're never going to get into a club at this point!" Behold was practically screaming at the top of his lungs from the bottom of the staircase.

The three girls all exchanged a look before beginning to walk downstairs. "I think I got this when me, Coco, and Mal went shopping a few weeks ago," Y/N looked over her shoulder at Zoe. "I totally forgot about it until I found it pushed to the back of my closet," she shrugged her shoulders, lightly tugging on the end of her dress.

"You look so unbelievably good," Queenie had to admit that her friend looked more than stunning.

They reached the bottom of the steps where their friends were waiting. "Oh, so that’s why you were taking so long!" Madison looked over her friends outfit. Y/N smiled, placing a hand under her chin as she posed. "You know, if we weren’t such good friends I would fuck you," she smirked over at the witch.

"I’m sure that’s all the validation she needs," Cordelia rolled her eyes. The others laughed as Madison scoffed angrily. She shot Cordelia the finger, mouthing 'Fuck you' as she walked to the door.

Behold nodded his head, pushing the girls towards the door. "Right, okay. You look hot, we all look hot. Great. Let’s. Go!" he was obviously ready to leave, not even making sure everyone was actually downstairs and ready to leave.

Y/N walked over to the key hooks by the door. She took hers and threw Cordelia her own. "Come on kiddies, in the car," Y/N held the keys above her head jokingly as she stood by the front door. "We're gonna be late for soccer practice!" John walked past Y/N, rolling his eyes before snatching the keys out of her hand. "Hey! Give 'em back!" Y/N whined as she reached for her keys.

John only laughed as he pushed her away. "I'm driving your car anyways. I have a meeting in the morning, I can't have you bitches getting me so drunk I can't form words," he dropped the key into his pocket. "I take full responsibility tonight, so no one die."

"I’m the car we go!" Coco marched past everyone.

"We already lost one to pregame, sad."

—

"I think Kyle is working tonight," Zoe looked up from her phone briefly to look at Mallory as the walked into the club. Queenie was friends with the bouncer so he had let them skip the line and didn’t even ask for IDs.

Mallory looked at Zoe, a little confused. "Kyle? He works here now?" she raised her voice over the music and noise coming from all the people on the dancer floor in the center of the room. Zoe only nodded as she put her phone back in her purse. "Why?"

"Who cares? I’m going find us a table," Coco pushed past the two, Madison and Behold following close behind.

Y/N moved past her friends, slightly pushing John out of the way. "I’m going to the bar. Put it all on my tab," she hurried through the crowd. The club was pretty full for a week day. Then again it was summer, so it was packed with tourist and frat boys with nothing better to do as they avoided going home to their parents. She huffed as someone bumped into her, not even apologizing as they walked away. Y/N sighed a 'Finally' as she reached the bar, dropping her phone on the counter.

"Is that the Y/N L/N I see?"

Y/N looked up to see who was calling her name. She smiled when she spotted her friend Kyle a few steps away from her as he stood behind the bar. Y/N and Kyle practically grew up together. They had gone to school with one another since middle school and they lived just a few houses away from each other. "Kyle Spencer isn’t dead yet? I’m surprised," she laughed as Kyle stopped in front of her. "I didn’t know you were bartending now," she tilted her head as Kyle picked up a cup and started to dry it to try and look like he was doing some type of work.

He shrugged, sighing loudly as he took a look around. "Beats the diner," he laughed sadly, shaking his head at just the thought of his last job. "You wouldn’t believe how much drunk white guys cheating on their wives tip me!" he placed the cup down, throwing the towel over his shoulder.

"That’s New Orleans in a sentence for you," Y/N laughed as she glanced down the bar. She could spot three, maybe four of those same guys right now. Two of which probably had kids. "No, but seriously what happened with the diner? I thought you liked it?" she gave Kyle a baby voice as she pouted, poking his cheek jokingly.

Kyle softly hit her hand away, laughing as he shook his head. "I did, but shit happens. You know that kid David and his little gang of Socs?" he leaned closer to Y/N, lowering his voice. Talking about stuff like that could definitely get you in some shit- definitely when it was almost midnight and in the middle of the city- so Kyle tried to stay on the low about all of it as much as possible.

Y/N nodded, reaching over the bar to grab one of the cheap mints out of the bowl. "Ah yes, the nuts and bolts of Downtown New Orleans," she giggled as she put the mint in her mouth.

"Is that a gay joke?" Kyle narrowed his eyes. "I think that’s a gay joke," he chuckled, a smirk covering his features. Y/N rolled her eyes, mouth 'Obviously' as she motioned for him to continue. "Right," he shook his head before he picked up another glass. "Well they decided that’s where they wanted to hang now, so I left before anything started," he sighed. "I did kinda like that place though. We had some great memories there. Like that time we went there after our last football game sophomore year and Brad Thibidoux smashed the jukebox in two when he threw Landon Adams on it," he laughed at the memory. The actual record scratch and the loud laughters of high school students as the two boys bolted out of the restaurant before the cops were called.

Y/N nodded as she thought back. She could think of some of her favorite stories in that place, each a little crazier than the last. "That was definitely a time to be alive," he and Kyle laughed loudly. "It was good though, definitely miss that shit." Y/N studied the wrapper in her hands, twisting and pulling at all the corners of the plastic.

"Maybe I should get into the game like you, you’re still doing that right?" Kyle raised an eyebrow, a mischievous smile growing on his face. Y/N scoffed before punching his shoulder. "Okay, ow! I’m joking! But are you really doing that still?"

"Not really, my guy is out anyways. I can’t grow that shit myself, especially with the neighbors I got," she shook her head flicking the little piece of plastic in her hand towards Kyle. "Fucking Joan."

"Yeah, fucking Joan!" Kyle mocked, groaning sarcastically. "Fuck that lady!" he laughed as Y/N rolled her eyes.

Y/N looked around the club. She had that weird feeling again, like someone was watching her every move. She turned around fully, looking out at the sea of people in front of her. "Okay, fucking weird," she shook her head as she turned around, pressing her fingers to her temples. Kyle hummed as he looked down at Y/N. "I keep getting this weird feeling about... well I don’t know what exactly. Just a weird feeling," she shrugged her shoulders.

"It’s because you haven’t had a drink yet," Kyle pat his friend’s shoulder. "I’ll be back, don’t die of a panic attack or whatever." He walked away, turning a corner to somewhere as he left Y/N by herself.

"Fucking Hell," Y/N laughed to herself as she let her head fall. "I’m going crazy," that was her conclusion. The fight thing was just a coincidence. That’s all that was. That was no explanation for why she felt that way she did. And no one was watching her. Unless they were doing a really good job at secretly watching her. She sighed, straightening herself up as she looked at her phone.

Madi: hey went a lil overboard on the tab, hope u don’t mind

Madi: just know ily

Y/N shook her head, smiling lightly at the message. 'Maybe I will be dealing again, who knows?' she laughed to herself, finding the idea funny.

"Stayed on your own two feet tonight?"

Y/N turned around to see who was behind her. She could feel the blush settling in on her face, thankfully hidden in the bar's horrible lighting. A low chuckle left her as she leaned back against the bar. "First the shop now here? Glad to know I added another stalker to my list," Y/N looked at Misty with a bright smile.

Misty rolled her eyes, moving next to Y/N. "Another stalker? You're just that interesting?" she leaned on the bar, Y/N turning around to face the same way as her.

"Some tend to think so," Y/N smirked as she looked at Misty. "I mean you just be following me, there’s no other explanation," she shook her head, putting her hands up in defense.

Misty laughed, shaking her head. "And how do I know you’re not following me?" she raised an eyebrow. Y/N pointed at the blonde, nodding her head in agreement. "So what are you doing here?"

Y/N hummed for a second. "Here with a few friends, nothing better to do than get fucking wasted with one another," she rested her head in the palm of her hand. She looked up at Misty, a small smile on her face. "And you?"

Misty shrugged. "I had nothing better to do and a friend of mine wanted to go out," she nodded as she looked around.

"Alright I’m back!" Kyle placed down a bottle of tequila on the counter as he stood in front of Y/N and Misty. Both of the girls turned to Kyle and the loud sound of him basically slamming the bottle down. Y/N looked at her friend with wide eyes, nodding to Misty. "Oh shit, my bad," he whispered as he looked down at her.

Y/N shook her head, running a hand over her face. She sighed, plastering a smile on her face. She could kill Kyle right now. "Kyle this is Misty, Misty this is Kyle," she muttered, sending the boy a death stare.

"You know," Kyle looked at Misty, crossing his arms over his chest, "you look familiar. We don’t know each other do we?" He didn’t know why, but Misty looked like someone he had met a while ago.

Misty shook her head slowly, "Not that I remember."

Kyle waved it off, turning around to grab a few shot glasses. "Well then, let’s all get to know each other better!" he placed the shot glasses in front of each of them. "So, how did you and Y/N meet? We met when she threw a rock at me when we were like three," he laughed as Y/N gasped.

"That’s not true!"

Kyle only nodded at Misty. He opened the bottle he put down only moments before and started to pour each of them a shot.

"She must have a thing for violent first meetings because she almost knocked me out today," Misty picked up her shot.

Y/N rolled her eyes. "You ran into me, don’t get it twisted," she grabbed her shot after Kyle finished pouring it. "And I did not throw that rock at you, I kicked it and you just so happened to be walking on the fucking street like an idiot!" Y/N looked at Kyle angrily.

"Whatever take your shot!"

—

"Wait, wait, what?" Misty laughed as she looked at Kyle. Her cheeks were bright red from laughing so much, hand covering her mouth as she tried to be a little more quiet than she was.

Kyle ran a hand over his face, a tipsy laugh leaving him as he took hold of the edge of the bar. "Y/N thought it would be a great idea to just fucking fight the guys soccer captain-"

"-Which he totally deserved!" Y/N defended herself, raising a finger as she looked between Misty and Kyle. "Totally deserved," she grabbed her drink, some way too alcoholic drink Kyle had thrown together after they finished their fifth round of shots.

Kyle nodded in agreement, raising his hands in a type of surrender. "Yeah! He did! He did!" he ran a hand through his hair. "So she goes up to the guy, for whatever the fuck she was mad at him for-"

"-Everything! We were all mad at him for everything!" Y/N almost spat out her drink she interjected so quickly. She raised her hand to her mouth, laughing at herself as she realized how ridiculous she probably looked.

"Right, anyways, totally just sucker punched the guy in the middle of the argument! Like, she just," Kyle mimicked the punch he remembered to the best of his ability. "And the next day he comes up to her in homeroom and literally five of our friends have to hold Y/N back from pummeling the guy to nothing," he laughed loudly.

"Alright, I’m done talking about me being violent. I want out of this conversation," Y/N waved her hand as she cracked another laugh.

Misty nodded her head. "Okay then, let’s just talk about your personal life in general," she suggested. Y/N agreed with a nod, straightening her posture.

"Yo Kyle!"

"Dammit, this was just about to be good!" he groaned loudly, obviously let down by his coworker calling his name. "Don’t say too much without me here!"

Y/N rolled her eyes as Kyle ran off and out of view. "Forget him, what do you want to know?"

Misty hummed as she thought about it. Sure there was plenty she wanted to know, but exactly where should she begin. "Family life? Maybe? That one can bring up trouble though," she took a sip of her drink.

"I don’t like my family and they don’t like me, it’s pretty simple actually," Y/N laughed lightly. "My friends are my family, that’s what really matters," she smiled to herself, looking down at her drink as she swirled it around. That was true though. Y/N always had chose who she wanted her family to be, fuck the biological one.

Misty nodded. "Me too, my people definitely aren’t the best so I kinda just left," she shrugged her shoulders. "What are your friends like?"

"Different," Y/N laughed at herself. "Hard to explain really because they’re all so... different I guess. But it’s a good type of different because it makes us all go together to perfectly. I mean we live together so we kinda have to go together perfectly," she smiled. Y/N definitely loved her friends, that was for sure. She would probably be somewhere dead if wasn’t for them and everything they did for her.

"That’s sweet," Misty giggled. She moved so she was looking directly at Y/N, a bright smile on her face. "When’s the last time you got in trouble with the law?"

Y/N scoffed jokingly. "I can’t believe you think so lowly of me, I’ll have you know I’m a good person," she raised a hand to her chest dramatically, her drunken giggles making her lose her composure.

Misty rolled her eyes. "High school you seems a lot more interesting than you right now," she laughed at Y/N’s hurt expression.

"High school me changed in, like, my junior year when I transferred. I wanted to be better," Y/N shrugged her shoulders.

"I mean that’s always a good thing."

Kyle came running back to his spot like a madman running from the cops. "What did I miss?" he breathed heavily as he looked at Y/N.

Y/N rolled her eyes, punching his arm softly. "Nothing, we just talked about my family and friends," she laughed as the boy continued to pant and push his hair out of his face. "What did they make you do? Run a marathon?" Y/N laughed as Kyle attempted to look angry at him.

"I’m not in the mood L/N," he crossed his arms over his chest. Y/N rolled her eyes as she picked up her drink.

"I’ll be back," Misty smiled at Y/N before walking away.

"Well she’s something different than your usual choice!" Kyle nudged Y/N’s shoulder as they watched Misty walk away. "Something has got to be wrong with her," he shook his head before he went to cleaning up their shot glasses.

"What? No way!" Y/N shook her head. She finished off the rest of her drink before setting the glass down. "She’s fine."

Kyle shook his head, pressing his lips together as he hummed nervously. "I like her, I’m not saying I don’t, but are you sure she’s not a Social chick? Or a chick of a Social?" he leaned over the bar. He looked genuinely worried for Y/N. "I mean Greaser chicks just aren’t that hot!"

"Oh, so I’m not hot? Thanks Spencer!" Y/N shook her head as she leaned on her elbow.

Kyle rolled his eyes. "That’s not what I mean. Like, she’s too pretty to be a Greaser that’s not noticeably a Greaser. You’re hot-"

"-Thanks bud," Y/N nodded her head as she pushed a shot glass his way, motioning for him to fill it for her.

"You’re welcome," he laughed as he reached for a bottle behind him. "But like, you’re hot and very noticeably a Greaser. And Misty is equally as hot, but she’s like that middle place where you’re not too sure where she would stand," he pushed the glass back towards Y/N. "Do you get what I’m saying?"

"Maybe? Not really," Y/N laughed lightly. "Are you trying to say that a Greaser girl can’t get away with being as hot as me and Misty without it being known she’s a Greaser?"

"Exactly that!" Kyle pointed a finger at Y/N.

"But Misty is the type of hot that I am, but in such a way you can’t tell she’s a Greaser?" Y/N raised an eyebrow as she took her shot into her hand.

"Do you understand now?"

Y/N shook her head as she laughed. "Nope," she threw the shot back as Kyle groaned.

"Forget it."

"Trust me, I will."

"Y/N!" a hand grabbed Y/N's arm, turning the girl forcibly.

Y/N steadied herself, almost falling over from the action. She looked at Madi, a small, drunken smile covering her features. "Hey! What's up?" Y/N grinned like an idiot at the blonde.

Madison looked around the bar quickly. "We have to go right now," she attempted to pull Y/N away, but the witch pulled her hand back. "Look, I'm serious-"

"-Is someone sick? Did someone get in a bar fight? Did you get in a fight? Am I about to get in a fight? Are we all about to get into a bar fight?" Y/N rested her hand on her chest. Her and Kyle made brief eye contact, both of them laughing like idiots.

Madison grabbed ahold of Y/N's shoulders, making her look at her. "It's Michael. Michael Langdon's here," the words left her mouth as barely a whisper, almost inaudible over the music in the club.

Y/N seemed to be snapped out of her drunken state. Her eyes went wide, and she grabbed onto Madison to keep her from falling over in shock. Michael Langdon. She hadn't heard that name in what? Six, seven months? Thankfully it had been that long. And she hadn't seen him in person for maybe twice as long. "Holy shit."

Michael Langdon had quite a history with Y/N and Madison. Too much history. They had met him right after they had become friends at some random party they went. It wasn't a nice first meeting at all. Y/N had been arguing with one of Michael's friends- one of his followers really- when he came over and split the fight up. He called Y/N and Madison a few more than hateful comments that almost got him thrown against a wall, but someone had intervened with two groups before things had gotten too messy to fix. And everyone thought that was the last of it. Until the two saw Michael again just a few weeks later out in the city. There was another argument, a few threats and close calls. It became repetitive. See each other out and about and then almost killing each other.

It was a mutual hate-hate relationship. But then it got worse. Y/N had met someone out at a party, someone she would never typically go for. But it was a Friday night and how much could a quick hookup hurt someone? Then it turned out that that same girl was the girlfriend of one of Michael's best friends. The argument happened faster than usually. Most of them weren't physical, but there she was in the middle of some random house fighting some random person while a bunch of random people watched in shock.

A few people Y/N knew had jumped into a fight and then a few people Michael knew had jumped into the fight. And then next thing she knew, Y/N had Michael pinned down on the ground with her knife pressed to his neck. Someone had grabbed her from behind and she had accidently cut his chest. A cut deep enough to leave a scar. A scar that Michael would have forever.

Kyle’s head shot up from what he was doing. "Langdon? Alright you guys gotta get out of here," he looked at the two girls in front of him, glancing behind him to see if he could try and spot Michael. "I’ll put everything on your tab. You have to get the Hell out of here, especially you Y/N/N," he pointed at the girl who was trying her best to bring herself to sobriety. He knew if Michael saw Y/N, the whole club would go up in flames... literally. "Where did you even see him?"

"I was on my way to the bathroom and I saw him at a table with his friends," Madison looked behind her anxiously.

"Are you sure it was him?" Kyle raised an eyebrow, knowing that Madison might be a little too drunk for her own good.

"Yes it was him!" Madison whispered shouted at the boy, anger covering her features. She looked back at Y/N, letting her hands fall from her shoulders. "We have to go, now."

Y/N nodded quickly, grabbing her phone off of the bar. "Hey, Kyle, can you do me a favor when Misty gets back?" Y/N nodded to the hallway on the other side of the club. "Give her my number, just tell her I had an emergency," Y/N felt Madison tug on her arm again. "You should skip too, the last thing we need is a mini war when all of our friends and connections are out of town for the summer. For all he knows, we’re not around either," she kept her voice low, hoping that no one Michael knew was close. She couldn’t risk anyone noticing it was her or recognizing her voice and going get Michael as soon as they did.

Kyle took a look at his watch. He sighed contently, "I’m off in five, I’ll head to the back and claim I’m trying to restock. Keep your head low. And I’ll give that chick your number."

Madison pulled on Y/N’s arm even harder, practically pulling the other girl halfway across the bar. "I’m not carrying anything on me, you?" she looked over her shoulder as she pulled them through the crowd.

"On my thigh-"

"-A gun!" Madison turned quickly, eyes wide in shock. She couldn’t believe Y/N would bring a gun out of the house. "Are you stupid?" she asked the question through gritted teeth, her nails digging into Y/N’s wrist.

"Ow!" Y/N ripped Madison’s hand off of her, grabbing her wrist in pain. "I’m not that stupid, it’s a knife. Don’t tell Cordelia I have it, I promised her I would stop carrying after..." Y/N bit her lip, looking around the club.

Madison nodded, knowing exactly what she was talking about. "My lips are sealed, but so will someone’s coffin if we don’t dip," she motioned between the two of them. Y/N nodded in agreement, huffing as some drunk bumped into her. Madison took Y/N’s hand back into hers as they continued to their group of friends.

"Is Jacob in town? Mikey? Colby and his crew?" Y/N squeezed past a couple. She shot a quick apology their way as one of them turned around to look at her abruptly. 'Jesus fuck, why did we come out tonight?'

Madison shook her head. "It’s us, Kyle, and maybe Miles and his few friends he lives with. We don’t need to be planning a war anyways," she sighed as she saw their table in view, everyone still sitting around and laughing just like they were when she left.

"There you are! We were starting to get worried!" Zoe smiled at Y/N, eyes barely open and words slurred like she was a child learning how to read for the first time. "Where you been Y/N/N?"

"We have to go! We’ll explain on the way out, we just have to leave!" Madison pulled grabbed her things off the table.

The others didn’t even question it. They could tell both of the girls were worked up about something. And it wasn’t a 'I’m tired and want to go home' type of work up, it was a 'We’re possibly in danger if we don’t leave right now’ type of work up. They all collected their things before they followed Y/N and Madison outside and to the two cars they had taken.

"You go ride with Cordelia, Mallory, and Coco," Y/N opened the passenger door to her car as she looked at Madison. "I’ll ride with John, Zoe, and Queenie. Just tell them everything," Y/N got in the car quickly, slamming her door shut.

John, Zoe, and Queenie got in right after her. "What the fuck is your problem?" John looked at the girl with wide eyes. "Did someone slip you and Madi something? Are you having a panic attack? What is happening?"

Y/N looked at John as she put on her seat belt. "Start driving and I’ll tell you everything. I can’t be near this place any longer." John sighed as he put the keys in the ignition, mumbling something under his breath as he pulled out of their parking spot.

"What happened?" Zoe leaned forward in her seat, looking at Y/N worryingly. She could tell she was just about to explode under any more pressure and that was never a good thing for anyone.

"Michael, he’s back," Y/N ran a hand over her face. She took out her phone, scrolling through her contacts at the speed of light. Her hands were shaking and her breathing was getting faster.

"Langdon? Like the Michael you almost killed Michael?" Queenie looked at Y/N in pure shock.

Y/N nodded rapidly as she started to text someone. "Madi saw him. And let’s not forget we’re all still on his hit list!" she laughed nervously.

"Dammit! I thought that kid got scared into Cali?" John shook his head.

"Well he’s fucking back!" Y/N laughed nervously. "If he tries to start something we’re already losing! Everyone is out of town for at least another week! And Miles’ boys don’t know how to fight," Y/N leaned her head against the back of her seat. She couldn’t focus on anything. She didn’t know if she wanted to cry or scream.

"This is bad."

"No shit Zoe!" Queenie looked at the brunette next to her. "Just the mention of this dude’s name can kill seven women and their children!"

"Look, we all need to calm down! We’ll talk about it when we get back to your place! Who else knows he here?" John glanced at Y/N form the corner of his eye.

Y/N shook her head. "As far as I know, us and Kyle... that’s it."

"We’re fucked."

"Oh we are more than fucked Benson."

—

"I think I’m gonna puke," Coco groaned as Mallory practically dragged her inside. She was slumped on the girl’s shoulders as they all entered the house. "I need assistance to the bathroom." Mallory sighed as she continued to hurl Coco and all her body wait to the bathroom.

"What the fuck are we going to do about this? We aren’t equipped to fight him and all his meatheads he calls friends!" Behold walked further into the living room, arms thrown over his head in the middle of his panic.

"This is a tomorrow panic, okay?" Cordelia looked at everyone as she locked the door behind her. "We’ll talk about it at breakfast, no one mention this to anyone. Even people we can trust. It’s only going to make madness." Everyone agreed silently, too tired to continue yelling and screaming about what was going to happen.

By the time Y/N had calmed down and gotten ready for bed, everyone was already passed out. She fell onto her bed, her body bouncing as she hit the mattress. She let out a deep breath as she stared at the ceiling. Maybe this was the end? Or better yet, the new beginning she always wanted? The new beginning that would end her up in a hospital bed if she wasn’t careful. She laughed to herself, shaking her head at the idea. It was definitely a possibility. Her phone vibrated beside her, snapping her out of her thoughts. She picked up the phone, confused by the text on the screen.

Unknown: hey baby, need a favor

Y/N: i'm sorry, who is this?

Unknown: D

Y/N: … what type of favor?

Unknown: lets meet up, we can discuss it. you know the place

[starkatana]

Through and Through

This song was basically written from Dabi's point of view.

Birthday - Quietdrive

"Fffuuuccck." Dabi downed his drink. "Hey yo, bartender, can I get another one of these?" Dabi pointed to his drink.

"You aren't going to go y/n's birthday?"

Dabi starred at the shadow through drooped eyes. "Dude, just get me the drink."

"Of course, sir."

Dabi starred at the leftover drops of whiskey at the bottom of the cup. It was just a few hours ago. He accidentally told you that he loves you. Then it got weird. He didn't mean those words but you kept pressing him on why he said it then.

He threw back his drink, desperate for the droplets left over. I didn't mean it.

Kurogiri switched Dabi's empty glass with a full one. He raised his glass at the bartender and took a swig.

Then he got a text from you: "Wanna talk about this?"

He ignored it.

Today was your birthday and he knew that. He had played the day off like it wasn't your birthday and that he didn't care. When he had actually planned to take you on a motorcycle ride to a secluded place to do some stargazing.

He was just at your place. You guys were just hanging out. It was a normal day. Nothing was different. You guys were having sex and afterwards. That's when he said it. He tried to play it off but you kept pressing it.

"I didn't mean it! I don't know where that came from!"

"Suuurree." You gave a sly smile, "Whatever Dabi you love me."

He didn't want to fight you. He didn't love you. He didn't have to prove anything. You were just someone he used for his benefit to care for his wounds. He didn't care about you. That's when he left.

There was another buzz: "C'mon, I'm sorry about earlier. I was just teasing."

He left you on read again. And threw back the rest of the new drink. "Aye Kurogiri, just keep them coming."

The night persisted on and Dabi kept drinking he didn't give a shit about you. At least that’s what he kept telling himself. Yet he couldn't help but think about you and check up on you by going through your social media.

Your social media had you with your girls. You had a birthday crown on and sash saying ‘birthday girl.’ You looked just how you acted, the epitome of sass. Your friends were all around you. Then there was a picture of you and a boy he was down on one knee proposing to you with what looked like a ring pop.

"What the fuck!" Dabi gripped his drink and flames appeared around him.

"I'd appreciate it if you didn't use your quirk in my bar."

"Shut up, Kurogiri." Dabi downed another drink.

"Another? Sir."

"I don't want to know who she is."

"I don't want to know you, but here we are."

A week has passed and Dabi found himself injured and in need of some healing. Instead of going back to the league of villains, he found his way back to your apartment. He climbed the fire escape and the window was still unlocked.

“Y/n?” he called in.

“Dabi?”

He walked into the living room and looked at her.

“Oh god.” There was blood running down his face. “Come here. I’ll fix it.”

His eyes were fixated on her. He couldn’t take his eyes off of her. Every time he was around her, she cast a spell on him. He was tired, but with her around he was relaxed. He sat next to her on the couch and without another word, she used her quirk to heal the wound and to take away his pain.

Once his cut was healed and before you could move your hand away, Dabi grabbed your hand and held it close to his face. He kissed the inside of your palm and looked up at you with his striking turquoise eyes.

Taking your hand back, he turns around to lean against you. You stop him and press your hands to his back, “You know my birthday was a couple of days ago, right?” she asked massaging his back.

“Oh yeah?” Of course, I knew.

“Yeah last Friday, I texted you...”

Act nonchalant. “Oh yeah?” He scoffed, “I was shitfaced sorry.” Way to go. That was dickish.

She didn’t respond, but he kept feeling her hands against his back. His aches were going away and he felt the tension melt away.

“Did you...have fun?” he asked.

“Yeah.”

“Y/n,” he stopped her and turned around to look at her. Say it, say you’re sorry.

“Dabi, I, uhm, brought someone home that night.”

Dabi got up from his spot. Fury fueled his body, rage in his eyes. All he could think about was your bed. The bed you shared together. Dabi grabbed his coat and headed for the door before he’d do something he’d regret. He bet it was the guy who proposed.

“What you're leaving again? You're not gonna ask? Are you even curious?"”

“You slept with another man y/n what do you want me to say?!”

“I don’t know maybe that you care? That you’re sorry for skipping my birthday? That you're only using me! That you hate me! Anything Dabi, I want to hear anything.”

He stopped and stared at her.

“you told me you loved me and you didn’t mean it. I just want to know do I matter to you at all? Even in the slightest bit? Not even as your healer but as a friend, confidant, anything. I want to know.”

“Tch. It doesn’t matter.”

“Dabi,” she got up after him, “I didn't sleep with anyone. My friend stayed with me and she brought someone home. I slept on the couch. All I could think about was you and how I wanted to see you.”

“Y/n, I don't care what you do.”

Go back, you idiot! You're a fool! Turn around you piece of shit. Dabi shook his head. He wasn't going to turn around. Being with you clouded his judgment. He wanted you to be safe, but couldn’t imagine you being safe with him. Maybe this was for the best.

“Y’know, she finds someone, suited for her, they get married and she lives a normal life. I’ll be nothing but just a guy.” 

“You’re an idiot, kid,” Kurogiri responds. “She cares about you villain or not. She cares and here you are throwing it away like she’s wrong for believing the things you said.”

“I didn’t mean it!”

“When are you going to stop lying to yourself? You can have her and live your life the way you want it to uphold Stain’s values. All you have to do is get away from my bar and apologize to her before she’s gone.”

Dabi hated that Kurogiri was right but more that he was wrong for not handling his situation with you more maturely. Instead of dealing with it, he just kept walking away. Not anymore. He bought a bouquet of flowers and got on his motorcycle and headed for your apartment.

He checked the time you’d just be getting home from work. He parked his bike in front and waited for you to arrive.

“Y/n,” he said as soon as he saw you.

“What are you doing here?” you ask.

“I’m here for the truth.”

“Okay….”

“And to apologize.”

“I’m listening.”

“I’m sorry, y/n. I love you and I didn’t know if I was truly capable of loving you. You deserve someone so much better than me, you deserve a better life than this, and I didn’t think I could give that to you. I thought the words slipped, but I truly meant them, I was just scared of them.”

“You know,” you said getting close to him, “you can be a real ass, but I forgive you. Let’s just be better from this, okay?” You hold his face in your hand.

Dabi smiles and grabs you by your hips, pulls you into him, and gives you a rough passionate kiss. “But wait a minute,” he takes out his phone and finds the picture of you getting proposed to. “Who’s this guy?”

You look at the phone and laugh, “That's my work husband. For breaks, we hide in closets together to avoid people. We bitch about life together and we’re just on the same wavelengths.” You could see Dabi squirm, trying to keep his cool but at the same time wanting to scare the guy into staying away from his girl. “Oh, and he's gay. He has a boyfriend they are a very cute couple.”

Dabi gave you a smile as he put his phone away. You put yourself close to this body, leaning your hands against his chest; he rests his hands on your ass. “I think I like jealously on you.” You purr, “It looks good.”

[demyrie]

I'm curious but why did you delete JAM? It was one of my favorite JxD fics and I never got to finish reading it.

ahhhh oh dear, yeah, that happened.

So, for everyone arriving, I wrote a fic called Just Another Mission for the Jak and Daxter game series, and Jak/Daxter pairing. Yes, the green haired elf protag with the fuzzy orange thing, which btw used to be a human and was a human in fic. I think I started it when I was maybe 14 (yikes omg) and a few years ago, I deleted it, and I don’t delete fics.

Rant and personal history ahead, but tldr; i deleted this particular fic because:

1) I became more and more uncomfortable with the way I’d treated certain characters without giving them respect or resolution (throwing around things like domestic abuse while being too young to properly understand What I Was Doing or How to Answer Very Triggered Friends Who Had the Misfortune of Reading This I’m So Goddamn Sorry, as well as falling into that Not Like Other Girls slash fan ditch of treating female characters like shit/obstacles to the main pairing WHICH IS JUST ******) as well as personally uncomfortable portrayals of obsession and taking advantage of people that turn my stomach to this day (see reason 4)

2) i got way in over my head with my own writing/style which was so obtuse and self-indulgent that I felt a great amount of shame over it, including the attention it had gotten, and the way it went to my head and turned me into an egotistic little shit. I was an asshole peacock and I regret it. There was a break where I got waylaid before the final confrontation in the fic (see reason 4, also a very bad time to get held up in any narrative) and when I returned to the story, i nearly cried because it was such a mess and I didn’t know what I was saying anymore. Finishing it was a struggle and I even remember one JnD fan friend being like “hey this chapter seemed really curt??? short?? not like you” and I was like YEAH THATS NOT ME ANYMORE god i hope

3) there was a sort of ... anti-JxD surge in my little pool from people I really respected and it made me think i was doing something wrong even just remembering it, so I cut off that memory.

4) it coincided with two ugly relationships in my life that marred it, and I just wanted it gone for my own mental health.

So anon, I’m very sorry that you never got to finish it. I had good intentions in mind and gave them a happy ending where they realized they loved each other, even if the journey there was difficult. 

It both touched me and broke a piece of my heart when someone came to me years ago and asked me why I had deleted it, saying the story had given them the courage to come out as gay to their family. In that moment, overwhelmed with how ProblematicTM the whole story was, I was really struck with just ... how subjective our world experience is, and how so many things can mean so many different things to every single soul and how terrifyingly VALID peoples experiences are, no matter how they come by them. We’re all so unique and convoluted, one man’s trash is another man’s treasure -- and one man’s trigger is another man’s key to Becoming. But no matter how inspiring, I couldn’t bring myself to repost it. 

Hopefully this will be the only fic i ever delete with relish. Jak and Daxter will always be a good memory for me, regardless. Thanks for the ask, anon.

(even more) personal stuff below the cut. tw for stalking, harassment, manipulation and emotional abuse.

So.

Im a firm believer in stories living beyond their authors (something that JK rowling doesnt seem to understand iykwim). I don’t normally delete past works, because while I wrote them, I also know that they’ve outgrown me as most narratives do: people are absolutely allowed to enjoy what they want to or need to, not just because I think said thing is reflective of my current work or jives with my current stage of life. 

However, JAM was a particular Thing that Had to Go.

The timeline is hella fuzzy to me because I’ve blocked a lot of it out, but I was coming out of middle school and struggling with my mental health. On the real life side, I was stuck in a situation with a close friend of mine who was very fixated on us being in a relationship and the pining was loud enough to hear from the other side of the country. Wounded people pleaser that I was, I flipped (exhaustingly) back and forth between “i dont like you like that” and “but I want you to be happy so what if I tried liking you like that?” and there was massive amounts of hidden hurt and resentment and tension and abandonment complex activation and just ... a strangling of anything that made our friendship good for either of us. 

Also she was a she. So. Yannoe, gay is difficult.

This definitely burnt me out on the “best friends pining” trope and is probably legit the ONLY reason I’m not equally in the erasermic and erasermight camp haha. That trope feels claustrophobic and draining to me, so I leave it for others to enjoy.

It also coincided with a married 45yo adult man luring me into a “platonic, ecstatic, boundary-breaking, you-are-my-beautiful-young-muse, words cannot express how much I love you” creative type relationship that inevitably turned possessive, domineering and manipulative. Within the bounds of the Renaissance Faire community, I thought he was a safe person and he was not, and his constant reassurance that I wasn’t like other women my age was absolutely hypnotizing to a undeveloped soul who really, really wanted to be special.

We traded poetry and tarot card readings over email. He bought me manga and shared stories about his time overseas and in the service. He made me props to go with my renaissance faire character and showed me where to find cheap leather so I could piece things together myself.

He also stalked me and owned me for the better part of a year and I only realized it once he started harassing a dear friend of mine overseas, whom I was visiting, about a package that he’d sent, which apparently he’d covered in original poetry to let me know how much he loved me But Not In a Hetero or Sexual Way Bro, so of course he didn’t want it to get lost in the postal system. So what is he going to do? Note my friend twice a day asking if its arrived until she inevitably, tearfully spills that this guy is stressing her out and who is he anyway?

My horrible secret was out, which only sounded horrible when I explained it to someone else. I realized this man was trying to follow me wherever i went and I got so fucking angry that he was messing with my friend that I had to stop it.

(He called me a cunt when I broke it off with him on the phone in the dark on the floor of my bedroom in the middle of the night so my parents wouldn’t hear, then sobbed and said he was sorry. I was so dissociated from the rush of anger and helplessness that it took for me to actually MAKE the call that all I could do was wiggle my foot and watch it in the reflection of the mirror on the back of my door, and think maybe I was a cunt but I wasn’t his cunt anymore. So there. 

Afterward I slammed my forehead into the mirror a few times to make sure I’d actually done it and it wasn’t a dream.)

During all of this, I was writing this stupid fic. I think. Honestly, I don’t fucking know, but I can’t think of it without thinking of him and how i was devoured.

The stress of hiding this “totally wonderful but NORMAL PEOPLE DONT UNDERSTAND WHAT WE HAVE!!!!” grooming shit from my parents was gutting me alive, and I was so far gone RE: worthiness/autonomy that I didn’t even consider why I BOTHERED diffusing his petulant accusations over notes on deviantArt again and again as he baited me into shit just to explode over how I didn’t love him and I figured out another way to soothe his engorged and tarry ego without explicitly lying that I loved him too. 

He made me regret my silver tongue and way with words as I used it to defend myself again and again, and crushed my love of writing. I would pace the neighborhood for almost an hour several times a week, claiming I was ‘exercising’ but really trying to understand why i felt so trapped, or where the lines between love and hate lay, or why I wanted to cry all the time, as i low key tried to get hit by a car just to force something to change in my life and jolt me out of his smothering, needy nightmare of constant texting and emails and notes. I couldn’t fucking flinch without him knowing about it, and asking me if I was okay. For this reason, I react very poorly to people fretting over me at length, and loudly. I get angry and feel violated, or just pinned to the floor by someone Performing their love on me with no real regard for my health.

This whole time, I was escaping into fandom. It probably saved my life, in one way or another, because I found friends who supported me and made me laugh in the JnD sphere. Especially the friend whose distress caused me to snap and realize This Couldn’t Continue.

This terrible man was the first one outside of my friend group that I showed my writing to, the first adult as well. It was on the dark side even then, but he said it was wonderful and amazing. He teased me for being stuck up in my authors notes on JAM (one of the reasons I’m just getting over ... talking ...) but said it inspired him to start writing as well. He used that writing to imagine hokey sprawling stories of him being a hot rod racer and me being his sexy girlfriend, Very Totally in Love. Why Couldn’t We have Just Met in a Different Lifetime??? not that its a relevant question for my young 16yo friend lol just something dreamers wonder lol lol here why don’t you take this traditional irish engagement ring aka claddagh i bought for you, lie to your parents and say I bought one for everyone in our renfaire group, and turn it toward your heart, to imply that you’re in love, so that I can keep your heart safe for you until you find a boyfriend?

FUCKER YOU ABSOLUTE FUCKER ok I’m done. Fuck.

JAM was a project of mine that spanned a year or two and is intrinsically tangled in those very bad relationships and very bad lessons. I deleted it because I needed to, for purely personal reasons beyond the fact that it was generally bombastic, over-long, tone-deaf and dealt with very serious issues poorly. Due to these experiences, you won’t catch me in a hot minute writing either best-friends-pining or heavy jealousy/possessiveness fic, but everyone else? Go crazy just tag your shit.

so. anyway. isn’t subjectivity actually terrifying? You never know what something can mean to someone else. So just ask, maybe.

Damn, son. Some fics you just can’t repost.

[timespanner]

Earth. They called it that, because they were standing on it.

Putting together some (too many?) words on The Dan in the High Castle, before it falls off the iPlayer in just a little over a week. 

(Speaking of which, you might want to have your say on the future of the iPlayer - you know, just in case you’d like to stop your favourite shows from disappearing into the void after a measly thirty-day time span.)

Here be spoilers. Consider yourselves warned.

If there is one good thing that’s come out of having to wait two long years for Time Spanner 2, it’s that we all time-travelled to Martin Gay’s future in the meantime. (Everything’s a very slow time machine, if you think about it.) 

The new episode starts right where we left off, only with Laika the Dead Space Dog doing a quick recap of - well, you know, everything. It’s been two years after all, and the pilot episode’s no longer on the iPlayer (though you might want to try here, if you haven’t already.)

As Laika quite rightly points out, the exact logic of the Angel’s plan - tasking our feckless hero with stealing the Time Spanner, and then using it to bring back some unspecified technology from the future in order to save the world - has yet to be tested. Even more so when the Angel reluctantly admits to the true nature of said technology - a flesh-eating death laser, which she claims ‘is to be used only for good’. (Which, for some reason, keeps reminding me of that JFSP sketch featuring a young Hitler, and a time machine. Oh, well.)

As the story develops, the Angel seems to be gradually losing her aura of aloofness and power - not only does she appear somewhat bumbling at times, but she also sounds a tad jealous of Gabbie’s role in Martin’s life, such as it may be. We also find out what happened at Kraken Self-Storage: the explosion towards the end of the previous episode was caused by the Metatron, who blew up Mr Kraken’s scrying glass from the Heaven’s end - yikes, indeed - and there are now factions of angry Not-People (angels? some other supernatural beings?) after our Angel/Muse/Lady Wizard, and possibly Martin Gay, soon. 

(I am aware I’m most likely reading too much into this, but I find it quite intriguing that the aforementioned factions call themselves ‘The Usual’. You know, what with Martin mentioning he’s ‘the usual, thirty-eight’ in the pilot episode - apparently forgetting he’s a whole two years older than that. But hey, this is probably just me, so you might as well ignore this bit.)

We also learn that, along with granting its bearer the power to travel through all of time and space, the Time Spanner also serves as a means of communication between the transcendental dimension and the physical plane; either by functioning as some sort of transceiver implanted straight into your brain, or by turning any old mirror into an otherworldly version of FaceTime - provided that you mark said mirror with a sigil, that is. 

(Apparently, any and all sigils would do, but for some reason the Angel sees fit to start with a swastika, only to end up having to hastily reassure a rightfully indignant Martin that she definitely, definitely didn’t give the Time Spanner to Hitler. Which is even funnier in the context of the episode’s title being a reference to The Man in the High Castle, as I believe we can safely assume.)

And yes, the future. As rubbish as 2018 looks to Gabbie and Martin’s eyes - and heaven knows they’re not that wrong - things are not as bleak as they appear to be at first glance. The Nazis didn’t take over, or at least, Dan(iel) Kraken didn’t - he may have been made a Lord, but his overzealous Yellowcoats are a mere private security force, and the titular ‘high castle’ turns out to be nothing more than a flat in Vauxhall. 

(While it’s true that I do not know enough about South London to fully appreciate the extent of this joke, the whole ‘that’s Vauxhall’ exchange is one of my favourite parts of the entire episode. Lord Kraken and Gabbie are truly wonderful throughout this scene, especially when addressing one another - and may I just say, David Mitchell and London Hughes did a pretty amazing job there, which is really quite something when you consider how talented the entire cast is.)

And here we find Mr Mergatroid as well, who’s apparently been in the service of Lord Kraken for the past two years. Oh, and it (he?) has also been holding on to Martin’s shoes for all this time, which means our hero can finally stop wandering about shoeless; and while he’s not getting future shoes like Gabbie suggested at the beginning, he’s still getting his past shoes back from the future, which is - significant, somehow?

(On a somewhat related note, how did Lord Kraken successfully locate Gabbie’s phone - in the future? Do phones still work when you suddenly jump two years ahead of when you last paid your bill? Am I just fixating on an entirely irrelevant detail for no reason?)

So, yeah. Daniel Kraken may be little more than a rich (and possibly disturbed) individual, but he does seem to be perfectly fine with using force to extract the truth of what Martin saw on the other side of his magic mirror. Which in turn leads to some interesting questions about the morality of Gabbie’s choices at the end: Kraken is not lying when he says he didn’t kidnap Martin two years ago, but he did technically hold him there against his will, and while he never had the time to use force, it’s reasonable to assume that he would have done - does he deserve to be arrested, then? (To be fair, I’m just as terrible at this kind of question as Martin is when asked what he wants to do, so let’s just leave it at that.)

But let’s not jump ahead of ourselves. We finally get another very interesting piece of information, which is that the Angel is not only capable of opening a portal that will bring you back to the real world, but also a portal to any (?) chosen point in time and space. (Incidentally, if on November 3rd, 2016 Martin skipped eight hours of his life to get to six o’clock in the afternoon, that means the first episode took place around, let’s say, ten in the morning? Well, its ending, anyway.) At least now we know how on earth she expected Martin to be able to bring those ‘ideas’ (or weapons, as they may be) back from his world’s future, when she spent the better part of the first episode claiming that you cannot travel backwards in time. (Never mind that Martin proved her wrong by travelling all the way back to the Big Bang, and then out the other side. Cool.)

And then - those final five minutes are such an emotional rollercoaster that I was left reeling in the aftermath of my first listen. The Time Spanner’s broken, so the only way they have to go back to 2016 is through the portal 'Bridget’ opens up for them; only then she claims she will remain trapped in the mirror until the sigil is erased, and my goodness, that moment when Martin volunteers to stay behind - well. (I’m so proud of him, I tell you.)

Martin’s trapped, and then he isn’t, as 2018 Gabbie shows up in a Yellowcoats uniform, and rescues him. I’m so here for this now twenty-two-year-old badass coming in to save the day, and that’s even without taking into account how much ‘time travel story where character A has to wait for n years to be reunited with character B’ is my cup of tea. 

(Speaking of which, might I interest you in this lovely and quite touching audio play written by Peter Davis of Monster Hunters fame? That’s the first thing that came into my mind right after this whole scene played out, anyway.)

And then - oh my days, that ending.

“But Gabbie, the Time Spanner’s broken.”

“Everything’s broken. Fix it! Oh, sorry, am I sounding old and grumpy?”

“Everyone gets hopeless.”

“Ha! Who said that? Was it someone amazing?”

That’s one of the most inspiring, life-affirming bits of writing I’ve listened to in a long time. We can but hope that not only Martin and Gabbie will succeed in making the world a better place, but that we the listeners will somehow do, too.

[insomniac-arrest]

Preview of my Next Story

I was struggling with some of my other stories, so I made this one as more of a palate cleanser

The Walmart Predicament

Jesse’s life is a bit of a mess, Jesse has insomnia, Jesse gets bored, Jesse is certain the centaur at the Shell gas station is going to light him on fire one day.

Ty is a Walmart greeter who is always there at 1am and kind of looks like a K-pop star that should be on the front of knock-off Twilight novels.

Vampires were all supposed to be killed off around 1901 with the Vampire hunters doing their damn job, but Jesse has a very shaky theory that one just happened to make it. And works at Walmart.

Based on that one tumblr post, urban fantasy where vampires are the fantasy part.

Preview:

Part 1: You Can’t Live with your ex-Girlfriend in a One Bedroom apartment

Jesse was looking at a Pokemon figurine, a very blue, very smooth pokemon figurine. According to the confusingly labeled rack this thing was either supposed to be 14.99 or 4.99. One was a little more reasonable than the other.

On one hand, the little plastic toy of a mudkip was probably going to be made of a much better plastic if it was actually $14.99. On the other hand, all he had in his pocket was a crumpled ten dollar bill and his debit card with Schrodinger's amount of money on it.

He refused to check so it was like bank account was empty and full at the same time, ooh, science. He told himself it was science and he wasn’t waffling on buying a toy from the kid's aisle.

Jesse had no idea how long he had been standing in aisle nine, it could have anywhere between 5 minutes and fifteen minutes. But he blinked and it felt a lot more like an hour.

He leisurely looks down at his blank watch and then back up toward the end of the aisle. He wondered the Home Decor section earlier looking for someone to ask but then reverted to the ‘wait and ambush’ method in aisle 9 instead.

He waited.

Walmart had been nominated for the number one customer service store in the US for five years in a row. Jesse had no idea why.

He waited for at least twenty minutes hoping an employee would pop up and tell him if his pokemon figurine was 4.99 or 14.99. But it looked like he had been left to the wolves.

Alone in the world to try and navigate Walmart at 4 in the morning. Or five in the morning. His watch was also broken and Jesse liked to keep his phone battery at a simmering 4%.

It gave his brother anxiety to look at but Jesse liked an excuse on why he didn’t answer texts. He had enough to think about already without 22 questions from his coworkers on what kind of hot sauce he preferred (Cholula).

Jesse looked back to the mysteriously priced toy and then back to the end of the aisle. Walmart had won the number one customer service award for the United States for five years in a row.

Ricky said it was because everyone had very low expectations for the place so whenever an employee so much as smiled at them they just thought ‘banger, best place in the states.’ Jesse took that as a life motto: keep expectations low and blow ‘em away with minimal effort.

He was working on the minimal effort part after coming off a nine-day bend of only 3-4 hours of sleep a night. Per night.

He had been in the aisle for anywhere between thirty minutes and an hour thirteen minutes, he glances down at his blank watch again. Finally, he puts the toy down and goes shuffling back toward the front of the store.

If he said he remembered why he drove over here in the first place, he’d be lying.

He’s contemplating the fact that one of his socks is gray while the other is dark purple when he hears a sharp voice off to his left. “Good morning, ma’am. Let me know if you need anything.” Jesse’s head swivels around like a partially-broken merry-go-round, moving at half speed. He recognized that voice, like a silver chime in the wind against a very blurry morning mist, Jesse blinks.

He stays perfectly still for a moment, a young man in a blue vest and styled dyed blonde hair stands by the door. His hands were neatly held behind his back and his shoes were a shiny black material that reflected the light.

Jesse’s mouth opens slowly, his eyes go wide, he knew this greeter. Ty, blonde, shiny-black shoes Ty.

Jesse freezes in place and fixates on a single glowing sunbeam that peaks just through the door. It was happening. His eyes dart to the greeter, and then back to the sunbeam.

It had to be somewhere around five o’clock in the morning now, his eyes go back to the sunbeam, and then once more toward the greeter.

Ty, the young man with dyed blonde tips and a pleased smile on his face steps delicately out of the way of a sunbeam as it snakes up toward his shoe. He takes several steps away from it.

Jesse’s mouth was completely open now, he takes out his phone to take a picture but then he remembers his battery is dead.

He looks back up, Jesse is pretty sure the door-greeter at the Walmart is a vampire.

-----------------------

Jesse sat slumped on the couch with his neck craned at just the right angle for it be almost comfortable. The couch itself slumped underneath him like it wished to be a lumpy mattress in its next life and the floor stayed perfectly still. Which was a good thing.

He couldn’t say the same thing about his vision, but the blurry smudge people in the corner of the room were probably friendly. The TV was on but he couldn’t repeat the plot of it if he wanted to, a girl around the age of 17 sat in front of it munching on croutons out of the bag.

Jesse was lucky he heard his phone ring as he was reaching into his pocket, his instincts let him just press the little green button before checking the caller ID.

“‘Ello.” He says as the smudge people in the corner of the room begin to dance emphatically.

“Jesse?” He hears a high-pitched voice call out, “this is the third time I’ve called.” Jesse shrugged as if the other person could see him, “the TV was loud.” He just hears a heavy sigh on the other side, “It’s Tom.”

Jesse lowers himself down in the chair, ”I know hey.”

”I’ve called because-” “I renewed the lease, yeah.” The voice sounded tired, “That’s what I thought.” “For like, just another month.” “Jesse,” his brother says on the other side of the line in a slow voice, “you can’t live in a one bedroom apartment with your ex-girlfriend.” Jesse just hums, “perhaps?”

The girl near the TV turns around, “What’s he saying?” Jesse blinks up slowly, “he doesn’t want me to live with Yumi anymore.” “Tell him to push off,” she crunched a crouton between her teeth, “she’s the only one that vacuums.” Jesse frowns, “hey, I do the laundry. We are both contributing.” “Will you do my laundry?” His niece bats her long lasses and Jesse makes a face.

“No.” “Then your argument is invalid, next.” “Jeez,” the voice on the other side of the line says, “this is what I’m talking about. You can’t live in a one bedroom apartment with your ex-girlfriend and still do her laundry.” “We’re friends. And she doesn’t like touching detergent.” “It’s weird! And,” Tommy, his brother, continues, “weren’t you getting more hours at the Shake Shack anyway? You know. To find a new place.” “What’s he saying now?” Chaudhry asks as she turns around in place.

Jesse holds the phone away from his ear, “he thinks I should get a new place or Yumi needs to leave.” Chaudhry rolls her eyes, “he’s gay now Tom,” she says in a loud voice, “not mean. You should learn something from it.” “More hours!” Tommy continues, “at the Shake Shack!”

Jesse tilts his head back, “they’re actually cutting them. But I figure, hey less time there, ya know?” He hears a loud groan, “I can’t pay everyone’s phone bill forever.” “Thanks for that Tom-Tom by the way,” Chaudhry had crawled over and was sitting by his knee.

“Please,” it was almost begging, “at least tell me you’ve gotten some sleep this week. Or gone to the group.” Jesse opens his mouth, he closes his mouth again. “Do you think Walmart hires vampires?” He heard a small muffled cry, “can someone put Yumi on the phone actually? I can consider switching to being her brother.” “She’s buying more paper plates since she hates doing the dishes,” Chaudhry props her chin up as she speaks. “And touching dish soap.”

“Well, nevermind them.” Tommy sighs. “Right, sleep. Yes? No?” Jesse frowns, “I tried.” He studies the smudges in the corner of his eye, “but the vampire thing was kinda bugging me, you know? He’s really pale, well-dressed, asian, like a K-pop star or something since his hair is all, you know. Buttery.” “Buttery?” “Yellow.” Chaudhry contributes.

“Yes, yellow,” he says with a jab of his finger, “that one. And he’s only there at night.” “He just works nights then Jesse, actually, okay, yes, yes, I’m coming over, stay right there.” “Wait,” Jesse says it too late, “you don’t need to-” Click.

And that was the end of that.

Chaudhry takes out another crouton and munches it between her teeth, “I would like to hear about the vampire.” “He’s a door greeter,” Jesse says slowly as he blinks, “and he couldn’t tell me how much this Pokemon figurine was.” His brother was still coming over to the apartment.

--------------------------

Jesse had one older brother and one older sister, his sister was ten years older than him and already had two kids which put her in a league of her own. A superman if you will, but Tommy, Tommy was only one year older than him.

And that meant something.

He also didn’t want him to live in a tiny apartment with his girlfriend that broke up with him two months ago, but some things can’t be helped. Like sleeping, that was hard to help.

Or do, or stop thinking about sometimes. Sleep, sleep, sleep, that’s all that came across his mind, like a seashore he could never reach but kept paddling towards. It was an uphill battle.

Jesse was having one of those nights, Chaudhry had gone home to her moms after Tommy began chewing Jesse out and now he once again, staring up at his ceiling. Tracing imaginary lines in it with his eyes and taking deep even breaths.

He wished he could invite Yumi back onto the bed, having someone else there usually helped. But the bed had never really been big enough for the both of them, and even she drew the line somewhere.

Her distant snores helped, but Jesse felt his consciousness start to tighten around him like a boa constrictor. Did he remember to lock the front door? Did he need a new lock?

What kind of idiot didn’t check their doors now, or have a spare lock.

Jesse sat bolt upright in bed, he blinks. He needed to go to Walmart.

[cwnerd12]

Forgiving

“Forgiving” Everyone meets in a meeting room (the council chamber is under construction), Asher in charge of everything. Asher, “Okay, David’s off in love-land, so it’s up to us to run the government for us for two weeks without turning Gilboa into a smoking crater.” Reinhardt, “So are you king?” Asher, “Uh, not really, but David did put me in charge.” Reinhardt, “If we need David, we can still reach him, right?” Asher, “He said to only call him if it’s an emergency, and by emergency, he means someone’s nuked Shiloh.” Abby, “It’s kind of really important that he and Jack get to relax and have some time together.” Shay, “He’s fuckin’ earned a break okay?” Asher, “I’m still supposed to call him and brief him every couple of days, so that would be the time to talk to him.” Reinhardt, “So what are we doing until David gets back?” Asher, “Ideally, nothing. Everything that’s supposed to happen will happen, and nothing new will come in and fuck everything up.” Rose speaks up, “Has there been any word from Warner or Gerald? They both thrive on being inconvenient.” Abby, “If they try anything, we’ll deal with them without bothering David.” Monique, “I do have one thing.” Asher, “What?” Monique, “The palace renovations are almost done, I think it would be a good idea to have some kind of public tour of the palace, preferably on TV. Rose, that would be your job. Didn’t you do something similar when Silas had the palace built?” Rose, “I don’t believe I’m the right one to give a tour of the new palace.” Monique, “Of course you aren’t. It’d be me and David. You need to set it up so we can do it as soon as David gets back.” Rose, “Very well.” Asher, “So, until something happens, that’s it.”

Asher sits in his office, reading some papers. There’s a knock at the door. Asher looks up, “Come in.” Betty, the girl who escaped from Nob with him, enters. Asher’s face lights up, “Betty.” Betty, “Hi, Rabbi.” Asher, “Please, just call me Asher. What are you doing here?” Betty, “Uh, I’m supposed to brief David every couple of weeks. I wasn’t sure what I was supposed to do this week, so I guessed I’d just come in and brief you.” Asher, “I’ll send your reports in the briefs I send him.” Betty, “Oh, god, don’t send him extra work on his honeymoon because of me. Besides, there’s not a whole lot to report.” Asher, “What are you briefing him on?” Betty, “Minority religious rights in Ammon. Basically, it’s my job to tell David if Warner’s arresting Jews and Muslims again.” Asher, “Ooh, that’s hot-” he catches himself, “I, uh, I mean, that’s quite interesting.” Betty laughs, “Yeah, I really enjoy it.” Asher, “Doesn’t Warner also arrest Catholics?” Betty, “Every once and a while a priest or a nun will say something in favor of human rights and it doesn’t go well, but Abedon was the one who went after Catholics. Which is really weird considering that his wife was Catholic.” Asher, “Well, we saw what became of her.” His phone buzzes, and he takes a look at it, “Oh, shit.”

Asher, followed by Betty, goes back into the meeting room, where Abby watches a TV, Rose beside her. On the TV, Warner makes an announcement, “For fifteen years, King Silas Benjamin lied to the world. He said that Vesper Abedon was killed in the conquest of Carmel, but that is not true. Abedon is alive and well, and he has been held in the palace of Gilboa.” Asher, “Why is he doing this now?” Abby, “Because he’s an asshole.” Rose, “Speculation has been running rampant about what it was that David was offering Warner at Council, he had to make an announcement some time.” Abby, “Also, he’s an asshole.” Rose, “I knew he’d try to do it while David is gone, so I had a statement drawn up last week. You don’t need to do anything, unless he wants to start negotiations.” Asher, “You’d better get to making that statement.” Abby, “Who’s gonna be the one to tell him?” Asher, “I can’t do it, I’m Jewish.” Abby, “I’m gay!” Rose, “I have a statement to make.” She gets up and leaves. Abby, “You’re the one who’s in charge, Asher.” Asher, “But you’ve already talked to him!” Abby, “And I don’t want to fucking do it again.” Betty speaks up, “I’ll go with you, Asher.”

Asher and Betty stand in an elevator while Asher frets. Betty, “Didn’t he have kids?” Asher, “What?” Betty, “I’m pretty sure Abedon had kids. What ever happened to them?” Asher, “Oh, god, I don’t know. I’ve heard a lot of conspiracy theories. Can you fucking imagine just trying to live your life knowing that you’re an Abedon?” The elevator opens and they get out. They go down into the dungeons, and then stop outside Vesper’s cell. Asher, “You ready?” Betty, “Go for it.” Asher opens the door. Vesper looks up, “Yes?” Asher and Betty both stare awkwardly at him. Asher, “Uh, Warner just announced that uh… you’re alive.” Vesper, “Ah, yes, I was expecting that. Thank you for letting me know.” He continues his work. Asher and Betty exchange curious looks. Asher looks at Vesper’s papers, and sees Hebrew written across them. He steps forward, and picks up a paper, “You mis-translated this.” Vesper glances up at him, “Oh? Do you know ancient Hebrew?” Asher, “I’m a Rabbi. I fuckin’ dream in ancient Hebrew.” He looks at Vesper and says something filthy in Hebrew. Vesper chortles heartily, “I usually don’t come across that kind of language in my work.” Asher, “I’ll leave you to it, then.” He goes back to the door. Betty follows him, and they leave.

Back in the elevator, Betty says, “Well, that was creepy.” Asher, “Yeah, no shit.” Betty, “It’s so weird that he’s like… normal.” Asher, “What did you expect?” Betty, “I dunno, something more disturbing.” The door dings open, and they get off. Asher, “I’ve got to get back to work.” Betty, “Yeah, me, too.” Asher starts to leave, but Betty says, “Listen um, there’s this restaurant that just opened, their thing is super high-end kosher food. Would you want to have dinner there some night?” Asher stares at her. Betty, “Y’know, in case you want to have waygu that’s been blessed by a rabbi.” Asher, “That sounds great! I’d love to!” Betty smiles, “Okay.”

Out in the lobby, as Asher leaves for the evening, a man has a heated argument with a security guard, “Why are you protecting him?! That sick fuck killed my family!” Security guard, “We can’t just let people into the palace.” Asher approaches, “Can I help with something here?” Man, “I want to see Vesper Abedon!” Asher, “I’m afraid you can’t do that.” Man, “I spent fifteen years believing that motherfucker has gotten what he deserved, and today I found out he’s been alive, being fed, with a roof over his head! I’m here to do what King Silas never could!” Asher, “Well, unfortunately, we need Abedon alive to be able to do something else Silas never could, and make peace with Ammon.” Man, “So Warner can just hang him and he dies quickly? No fucking way. Not without pain!” Security guard, “I’m sorry, sir, if you don’t leave, you’re going to be removed.” Asher steps away, “I’m sorry, I can’t help you.” Man, “Bullshit! I have fucking earned this!” Asher turns around and leaves as security guards wrestle the man to the ground.

That evening, in his apartment, Asher calls David. David, “Hey, what’s up?” The sound of laughing and playing in the background. Asher, “Uh, just wanted to let you know, today-” David interrupts him, “Can you hold on a sec?” a pause, and David yells away from the phone, “KNOCK IT OFF, will you?! I’m trying to get briefed!” The sound of Jack laughing. Asher sighs impatiently. David, “Okay what is it?” Asher, “Warner announced that Abedon’s still alive.” David, “Okay, is there anything that I need to do?” Asher, “Nah, we’ve got it handled, you go back to whatever it is you’re doing.” David, “Thanks, man!” Asher, “Okay, bye.” He ends the conversation. There’s a knock at his door, and he answers it. Betty stands there in a cute little dress, “Hi.” Asher, astonished, “Wow, you look… wow!” Betty, “Better than some old clothes that haven’t been washed in months, huh?” Cut to: Asher and Betty have dinner in a nice restaurant. Betty, “Yeah, my parents weren’t really thrilled about me joining the AFG. It wasn’t even the AFG at that point, just some vague resistance movement. Once David took over, they seemed to be impressed with it, though.” Asher, “You have no idea how many times I’ve had to kick his ass into doing the right thing.” Betty laughs, but then grows more serious, “It’s been hard, getting used to y’know, having a normal. I’ve been going to temple and observing shabbat, but I still can’t get rid of the feeling in my gut that I shouldn’t get comfortable, that I’m going to have to get up and leave again soon.” Asher, “I know that feeling.” Betty, “Have you been back to Nob?” Asher, “What?” Betty, “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t ask.” Asher, “No, no, that’s okay. And, no, I haven’t been.” Betty, “I don’t understand how you can just work with Reinhardt every day.” Asher, “The raid at Nob was done by the army, not the MSS.” Betty, “The MSS had to tell the army where we were.” Asher, “Honestly, I just try not to think about it. He had a job, and he did it.” Betty, “The Nuremberg defense.” Asher, “David trusts him, for whatever reason, and I trust David. I try not to think about it.” Betty, “I went to visit my parents last week, and as I came home, out of nowhere, I got hit with this immense feeling go guilt. Like, why do I get to visit my parents when so many people out there don’t?” Asher, “There is no answer to that.” Betty, “Yeah, I know. Anyway, I’ve kind of been fixated on the subject of parents since then. I keep thinking about Abedon’s kids. How are they reacting to all this? Do they even know that he’s their father? And if they don’t, are they better off not knowing?” Asher, “Those are all excellent questions.” Betty, “What if they want to see see him again?” Asher, “He murdered their mother.” Betty, “Love and loyalty are weird things. They defy all logic. It just doesn’t seem fair to me to just hand him off to Ammon without giving them at least the chance to make some sort of peace.”

Asher goes into Vesper’s cell and sits down. Vesper, “Can I help you, Rabbi?” Asher, “You killed your wife.” Vesper, “Yes.” Asher, “Why?” Vesper, “That’s a question best left to scholars-” Asher interrupts, “That’s bullshit, you had a motive, what is it?” Vesper stares at him, and then says, “I was doing God’s work. Gilboan forces were at the doors of our compound. Esperanza wanted to surrender, but I would surrender only to God. The children’s souls were pure and innocent. I knew God would let them into His kingdom. Esperanza stood in front of the door.” Asher, “Jesus fucking christ, you are sick!” Vesper, “You asked.” Asher, “What happened to them?” Vesper, “I don’t know. For fifteen years, Silas never told me.” Asher, “How old were they?” Vesper, “My oldest, Mercy, was eleven. The youngest, Gabriel, was just a baby.” Asher, “What would you say to them, if you saw them again?” Vesper, “That I was wrong, and I don’t deserve their forgiveness.”

Asher approaches Thomasina’s desk, “What happened to Vesper Abedon’s children?” Thomasina, “Why do you want to know?” Asher, “Because I just fucking do.” Thomasina, “I’m not at liberty to tell you.” Asher, “I will call David right now and tell him to order you to tell me. I know you don’t want to interrupt his honeymoon.” Thomasina gives him a dirty look, and then says, “They were given new identities and adopted into Gilboan families.” Asher, “Where are they now?” Thomasina, “I don’t know.” Asher, “That’s bullshit, Silas kept every string he could pull.” Thomasina, “Why do you want to know, anyway? It’s no business of yours.” Asher, “Because I just do! If I had one last chance to speak to my parents…” he drifts of. He exchanges looks with Thomasina, “Just tell me where they are, okay?”

Asher takes Betty into a coffee shop. Betty, “Okay, seriously, why are we going all the way across town just to get coffee?” Asher, “They have something here that I think you’ll be interested in.” They step inside. Asher pulls a photograph out of his jacket pocket: The Abedons, Vesper, Esperanza, and five children, smiling and happy. Asher looks from the photograph to the barista, a beautiful young woman with dark hair. They go up to her. Barista, “What can I get for you today?” Asher looks her over nervously, and then quietly says, “Are you Mercy Abedon?” Cut to: Mercy sits with Asher and Betty at a quiet table. She eyes them with harsh suspicion, “King Silas used to visit my every once and a while. He told me to keep quiet and refused to tell me anything about my brothers and sisters. Is this more of the same?” Asher, “No.” Mercy, “What the fuck do you want, then?” Asher, “I know where your siblings are.” He hands her the photograph. A sob escapes from Mercy’s mouth, and she covers her mouth with her hand, as if to push it back in. Asher, “Your father is in custody at the palace. I want to give you and your siblings the chance to see him one last time.” Mercy, “I held my baby brother in my arms and tried to stop his crying while I listened to my father murder my mother.”  Asher, “Would you like to see your brother again?” Marcy, quietly, “Does he even know who I am?” Asher, “He was given a new identity, just like you. He’s lived his whole life with that identity. I don’t know if he knows the truth.” Mercy, “He’s lucky, then. I’ve had so many times when I wished I could just zap the memories of my parents straight out of my head. It’s a godawful burden, a name like Abedon.” Asher, “Then we’ll leave your siblings alone.” Mercy, “I didn’t say I don’t want to see them.”

Asher sits in his office. Abby enters, “What the fuck are you doing, looking for Abedon’s children?” Asher, “Did Thomasnina snitch on me?” Abby goes over and puts her hands on his desk, “You don’t know what kind of shit you’re stirring up.” Asher, “I’m not forcing anyone to do anything.” Abby, “What exactly are you doing?” Asher, “I want to give his children the chance to forgive him.” Abby, “Forgive him?!” Asher, “He’s repentant! He knows he was wrong!” Abby, “I’m sorry isn’t going to un-murder their mother!” Asher, “They deserve to know, and to see each other again.” Abby, “Is this some kind of weird bullshit about your parents?” Asher, “And what if it is?” Abby, dismayed, “Oh my god, Asher!” Asher, “What? I’ve already talked to Mercy.” Abby, “What?!” Asher, “She wants to see her siblings. She at least deserves that.” Abby, “Okay, but I’m gonna be there to try to salvage shit when it all goes south.” Asher, “You should probably have Michelle there, too.” Abby, “Why?” Asher, “Someone has to apologize on behalf of Silas.”

Gabriel Abedon, (Jake Hearn), 15, walks into the lobby of the palace with his parents, Vince and Jackie. They look around in amazement at the work that’s being done, and approach the front desk. Jackie, “We’re here for the adoptee event today.” The receptionist, “Certainly, just a second. What’s your name?” Jackie, “We’re the Hearns.” The receptionist picks up a phone and presses a number, “The Hearns are here.” Vince whispers to Gabriel, “Pretty cool, huh?” Gabriel, “Yeah.” The receptionist speaks up, “Right this way.” Cut to: The Hearns are led into a room where Asher waits for them. Asher steps up, “Hi, You must be Jake Hearn. I’m Rabbi Asher Levinson.” Gabriel goes up to him and shakes his hand, “You’re the one who administered the oath for King David, right?” Asher, “Yeah, that’s me.” Gabriel, “Cool!” Asher, “Please, have a seat.” The Hearns sit down, and Asher sits across from them. Gabriel, “What am I here for?” Jackie, “We were told it had something to do with adoption.” Asher, “Yes, it is. Do you know anything about Jake’s birth family?” Jackie and Vine look at each other nervously, “No.” Asher, “I brought Jake here today because he was identified as a member of a family that was broken up. He has siblings, who are also here, today.” Gabriel, “I do?” Asher, “Yes, and you can meet them if you like.” Gabriel, uneasy, “Oh, wow, I- I really dunno what to say.” Asher, “Before you were adopted by the Hearns, your name was Gabriel. Gabriel Abedon.” Vince, “Abedon?” Asher, “Yes. Jake’s birth parents are Vesper and Esperanza Abedon.” Jackie, “That’s not possible, the adoption agency would have told us-” Asher interrupts, “The adoption agency was told to lie and keep quiet.” He pulls a photograph out of his pocket, “I have a photograph. Would you like to see?” Jake nods numbly, and Asher hands him the photo. Jackie takes on look at it, gasps dramatically, and turns away. Vince, “I’m sorry, but this just can’t be true. I fought in Carmel, I saw first-hand was Abedon did. Jake’s a good kid! He’s nice! He has friends! He volunteers at the animal shelter! He’s not a monster like Abedon!” Jackie whispers, “Vince, look at the picture. That’s him. You know it is.” She hugs Gabriel, “This doesn’t change anything. We still love you so much. You’re our son, and you’re a good person, Jake.” Gabriel, numbly, “I love you, too.”

In another room, Mercy sits. The door opens, and Abby, Betty, and Michelle lead in Elías, 23, Isobel, 21, and Amada, 18. Elías stares at Mercy, and tears well in his eyes, “Mercy?” Mercy rushes up to him, and hugs him tightly, “Te extrañe. Te extrañe mucho.” Elías, “Mercy!” Isobel turns to Abby, “I had two brothers. Where’s the other one?” Abby, “He’s coming.” Mercy goes over to Isobel and Amada, “My name is Mercy. Do you remember me?” Isobel, “A little bit.” Amada, “I just remember that my name was Amada.” The door opens once again, and Asher leads in Gabriel. He stares at his siblings, still numb with shock. Asher looks at Michelle, who steps forward. Michelle, “First of all, I’d like to apologize on behalf of my father for breaking you all up and keeping you in the dark for so long. I know what it’s like to be denied a sibling. I know that no words can undo the years you’ve missed together. But hopefully you can start something today.” Abby, “If you want to, you can go and see your father. He’s here in the palace, but I don’t know for how much longer. I expect a deal will be made with King Warner once King David returns from his honeymoon.” Elías looks at Mercy, “Do you want to see him?” Mercy, “I don’t know.” Abby, “That’s okay. You can take some time to make up your mind. In the meantime, I’m not sure what names I should refer to you all as. You’re free to identify yourselves however you want when you leave the palace. We’ll provide you with any forms and documentations you need to make it legal. Do you prefer your adoptive name, or your birth name?” Mercy, “I think, while I’m here, I’ll be Mercy.” Elías, “Elías.” Isobel and Amada look at each other, and smile. They each repeat their names. Asher looks at Gabriel, “Do you have a preference?” Gabriel looks at him, and snaps out of his trance, “What the FUCK! I thought I was just a war orphan!” Asher, “Do you need a moment?” Gabriel looks around for a moment, and then bolts out the door. Asher tries to follow him. Out in the hallway, Gabriel turns and yells, “Leave me the fuck alone!” Asher stops. Gabriel reaches the end of the hallway, turns around in dismay, leans against the wall, and slowly sinks to the ground. Mercy, followed by everyone else, comes up behind Asher. Abby steps forward nervously, “Do you need anything?” Gabriel looks at her, dismayed. Slowly, Mercy approaches him, and then sits down beside him. She puts her hand over his. He looks at her, and sees that they share the same features. Elías, Isobel, and Amada go over and join them. They sit together in silence.

Asher leads the Abedons down the dungeon hallway. Mercy holds Gabriel’s hand tightly. They stop outside of Vesper’s cell. Asher, “Are you ready?” Mercy nods. Asher goes in to see Vesper, “Your children are here.” Vesper looks up in astonishment, “My children?” Asher nods, “Do you want to see them?” Vesper’s eyes fill with tears, “Please.” He stands, and his children file into his cell. Michelle, Abby, and Betty stand behind them, watching. He gasps and looks at them in awe. Mercy, “Hi, Dad.” Vesper lowers himself to his knees, “My children, my children… I am sorry. I am so profoundly sorry. I don’t deserve your forgiveness. I deserve no one’s forgiveness.” Mercy wipes away a tear, “God says to forgive.” Asher, “You don’t have to forgive.” Everyone looks at him. He goes on, “Forgiveness isn’t just a favor that you  give out. It’s hard. It hurts. People spend their entire live struggling to forgive, and they can’t. Sometimes, it’s just impossible. The mouth says I forgive while the heart stays angry. That’s what destroys the soul. Don’t forgive because it’s asked of, or expected of you. Forgive because you’ve struggled with it. Forgive because you want to.” Michelle holds on to Abby’s hand. Mercy, “I need time.”

In Jack and David’s apartment, David serves up dinner for Abby and Michelle while Jack looks on, beaming. David, “It was nothing but non-stop hedonism. We were taking NAPS all over the place. Absolutely unthinkable levels of depravity. We spent a whole day watching a Chopped marathon! We went on picnics, and there was this fantastic lake, we did a lot of swimming!” Jack, “Skinny dipping.” David, “And we went out on a boat and I caught us some fish and fried ‘em for dinner that night.” Jack, “Providing." Michelle, “Such decadence.” Jack, “It was great!” David, “I swear, as soon as we got there, Jack’s speech started getting better. He was telling me stories the whole time. Stories!” Jack, “Easier, just you.” Abby, “Well, tomorrow, we get to negotiate handing Abedon over to Warner. So that’ll be fun.” David, “Oh, come on, don’t talk about work now.” Abby, “Asher found his kids. Brought them to the palace.” David, “Seriously? How did that go?” Abby shrugs, “Okay, I guess. It’s hard to tell if that sort of thing is good or bad. How’d you feel if you got invited to the palace only to be told that you’re the child of a mass-murderer?” Michelle, “I have to give it to Asher, though, he handled it pretty well.” Abby, “Yeah, he did.” David, “So does that mean we can just hand him over?” Abby, “Not unless Warner gives us something in return.” David, “Okay. I kinda hate to do it. Vesper, he- he’s unusual.” Abby, “We have to make peace with Ammon.” David, “Yeah, I know. And we will.” Cut to: David sees Abby and Michelle off, “You two have a good night, okay?” Michelle pauses and looks at him, “David.” David, “Yeah?” Michelle hesitates a moment, and then says, “I forgive you.” David, “What? Why?” Michelle, “Because I just fucking do, okay?” David, “Okay. Thanks.” Michelle, “Good night, David.” David, “Good night.” He shuts the door.

In the treaty room, Abby stands next to David, Warner and his diplomat, Bernard, across from them. Abby, “We will agree to let you keep a small portion of Carmel, the same portion as was agreed to when we first arrived in Ammon. In exchange for the return of Gilboan territory, we will hand over Vesper Abedon.” Bernard, “We agreed to peace, not an exchange of territory.” Abby, “Then Abedon will remain in Gilboan custody. This isn’t up for debate.” Warner looks at Abby and David and shakes his head, “God does favor you, David. How else could such an enormous advantage just fall into your lap without you even knowing about it?” David, “That was Silas, not God. Are you going to agree to our offer, or not?” Warner gives him a scrutinizing look, and then says, “I’ll sign your treaty. Vesper will be brought back to Ammon and hanged before sundown tomorrow.” David, “Very well, then.”

(“Shadow” Celia Pavey) In his cell, Vesper goes down the line of his children, hugging them and kissing their cheeks in turn. Gabriel stands stoically and accepts his embrace without emotion. Vesper comes to Mercy last. Vesper, “Do you forgive me?” Mercy, “Not yet, but I’m working on it.” Vesper’s eyes fill with tears, and he hugs her. She hugs him back. Out in the hallway, David, Abby, and Asher stand waiting, Warner, Bernard, and a group of Ammonian soldiers beside them. Vesper steps out of his cell, and the soldiers put him in handcuffs. Warner takes in a deep victorious breath, puffing up his chest, “May God have mercy on your soul, Vesper.” Vesper, “May God have mercy on yours,” he turns to David, “I thank you for your hospitality, King David,” he looks at Asher, “I thank you for your gift, Rabbi Levinson,” he turns back to Warner, “let’s go, then.” The soldiers lead him away. The Abedon children exit the cell, and watch Vesper be taken down the hallway. Outside the palace, furious crowds gather, waving signs, chanting furiously, demanding to see the monster Abdeon. David pushes the front doors open, and Warner and Vesper exit behind him. Vesper blinks in the sunlight, the soldiers still holding tightly to his manacles. The crowd roars for vengeance. Warner walks towards the crowd, a number of security guys in front of him. They begin making their way through the multitude, the security guys clearing the way. The soldiers escort Vesper as he follows behind Warner. Bottles and rocks fly at him. The man who was there earlier demanding to see him spits at him. Still, Vesper carries his head high, with dignity. Warner stands by the open back of a police van, and gestures for Vesper to get in. Vesper follows. He looks back out into the crowd one last time, and sees David, still looking out at him. The doors shut, and the van drives away. In the palace, The Abedon siblings hold on to each other, determined to stay strong.

A tombstone: Leo and Nora Levinson. Asher and Betty stand holding hands, looking down at it. Asher weeps and recites the Kaddish. When he’s done, they both lay stones on the graves. They walk away, still holding hands.

[artificialqueens]

Acceptance: Chapter 3 (Dela/Shangela) - outlawed-melodies

Dela found herself virtually spaced out on the way home, Shangela having to constantly nudge Dela in order to get her back to reality so she could direct them to Dela’s apartment complex. Dela couldn’t help it; something was wrong with her today. Maybe it was the stress of the past week causing her to lose focus. Or perhaps it was the thought of potentially meeting her stalkers by her home that kept her thoughts elsewhere. But even then, she wasn’t sure if that was the reason for her distracted behavior or not.

Shangela gently nudged Dela’s arm. “Dela, how close are we to your place?” she asked impatiently, probably having asked this same question dozens of times.

Dela took a moment to glance around and refocus her attention to her surroundings. The familiar area caused her to smile slightly. “We’re almost there. I’m on the bottom floor of this next building.” Despite the relief of almost being home, Dela couldn’t help but feel bad for spacing out so much on Shangela, especially considering how much she was willing to help despite the two just meeting each other. Dela only hoped her room would be the same as it was when she left this morning: spray-painted and a mess from the many anxiety-ridden nights.

Approaching Dela’s apartment door, Shangela quickly noticed the bright red spray-painted words across Dela’s door and frowned. “Jesus. Do people really still have hard feelings against gay people? Unbelievable.”

“Yeah…” was all Dela could muster out, once again getting back into her head. She couldn’t help but question herself. Was she gay? Did she actually like girls? Well…she didn’t know. Most people she knew told her they knew they liked the same gender since they were very young, and practically always knew. Dela, on the other hand, had no idea whatsoever. All she knew was that she didn’t like guys. Supposedly.

Noticing Dela’s hesitation, Shangela gently put her hand on Dela’s shoulder. “Hey… I just want you to know that I accept you the way you are. It’s a difficult world for us, y’know? We’re different…but that’s okay. Just keep your head high and you’ll be okay.”

Dela couldn’t help but let a small smile peek out, even though neither of them had a clue about the extent of her feelings. “Thank you…” she whispered, finally getting her keys out of her pockets and unlocking her door. She peered inside, instinctively putting her keys back in her back pocket, and sighed, relieved. “Never thought I’d say this, but I’m glad this place is how I left it.”

The two walked inside, Shangela closing the door behind her and locking it per Dela’s request. Shangela sat down on Dela’s caramel colored couch, her eyes fixated on the messy living room while Dela immediately went to her bedroom, pulling out a big purple suitcase from under her bed.

Shangela listened to the suitcase unzip and closed her eyes, paying attention to Dela’s movements in the other room as she moved back and forth and back and forth to who knows where. After a few minutes of silence, Shangela spoke: “So, Dela, I hope you don’t mind me asking, but like, how do you identify your sexual orientation?”

“Excuse me?” Dela’s voice perked up, a hint of confusion arising in her tone.

“You know, like do you exclusive like girls, or are you bi or pan? Or do they give you shit ‘cause you’re ace? ‘Cause no straight person I know has ever had fa-“ Shangela stopped herself. “Uh…y'know…that painted on their door before.”

“I’m…” Dela took a moment to find the right word. “Questioning.”

“Questioning, huh? Well, I guess that can set ‘em off too.”

“I guess…” Dela uttered uncomfortably. “I’d…rather not talk about it right now.”

“Understood, princess.”

Dela sighed, staring at her half-full suitcase. She had so many things, and not enough space for them all. But then again, she didn’t want to bring every possession she owned to Shangela’s. Like she said, she’d be there for a few days, maybe a week at the most. It’s only until things settle down here. It won’t be that long…

Stepping into her closet, Dela took the time to change from her work clothes into something more comfortable. She pulled out a light pink t-shirt that was slightly baggy on her and a pair of black leggings and changed into them. This wasn’t Dela’s usual go to for clothes, but at this point, she could care less.

“So, uh…what about you?” Dela inquired, the silence bothering her.

“Me?” Shangela asked. “I’m bi, but I have a preference towards the ladies. I can handle them more than I can with men.”

Dela chuckled softly. She didn’t know why she did, but it just…happened. Maybe it was the fact Shangela knew who she was as an individual, or the idea of being so comfortable with your sexuality that fascinated Dela, considering she was now “questioning” hers. Dela liked it when she believed she knew herself. She just hoped the empowering feeling of confidence would return once she figured out this whole sexuality thing.

Dela stepped out of her closet and wandered around her room, organizing the things she decided to keep and shoving the rest in her bag. Slowly, her room became cleaner…and emptier. She dragged her suitcase out to the living room, the purple fabric bulging out in all sorts of places. To say her bag wasn’t packed was…an understatement.

Shangela’s glance went to Dela, then to her suitcase. She didn’t seem very amused. “Jeez, what all is in there? Did you pack the entire house in there?”

Dela nervously chuckled. Kinda. “No…Just the essentials.”

“Sure. “ Shangela eyed Dela suspiciously. “Come on, let’s get this in your car and head on out.”

Dela nodded, leaning down to pick up her suitcase. She held it in her arms as if she held a newborn, close and protectively. Shangela opened the door for her, letting Dela go out first. Luckily, Dela’s vehicle, sat right next to her door. Her vehicle. Which was a 2014 minivan. Shangela noted to make some sort of joke about it at a later point.

“Oh, shit.” Dela uttered. “I can’t reach my keys.”

“Where they at?” Shangela asked. “I’ll get them.”

Dela bit her lip slightly. “No, I can get them, could you just ho-“

“Dela, where are they at?” Shangela impatiently asked.

Dela averted her eyes and mumbled, “Back pocket. On the right.”

She felt her face flush. Thank God for it being dark out. It was… embarrassing to say the least. Sure, moments like these have happened before, but it was with people she knew. Additionally, considering the fact she had spent the past several hours questioning whether or not she liked girls or not did not help her judgement as she felt Shangela’s hand slide into her back pocket and quickly pull out her keys. You’re overthinking this, Dela and you know it. This is nothing. It means nothing and don’t you dare try convincing yourself it’s something because it’s not.

Shangela unlocked Dela’s car door, making sure the back door also opened so Dela could put her luggage in. As soon as Dela dropped off her suitcase, Shangela handed Dela her keys, a sly smile on her face. She said nothing, but Shangela’s expression said a million words. Was she…flirting with me? No. Dela. It’s nothing. You’re just overthinking things because you’re stressed. Once you sleep things will be better. Hopefully.

“You have everything?” Shangela asked.

“I think I have everything, but let me double check.” Dela headed back to her apartment, Shangela following behind. Shangela stopped by the front door while Dela continued on into her bedroom.

“Okay, so I have my clothes…shoes…phone and its charger…That should be-“ She stopped and stared straight at her desk. At the huge tank. With her two turtles. Who were both peacefully sleeping at the bottom of the tank.

“Hey, uh, Shangela, could you help me?” Dela called out, disappointed in the fact she almost left her two babies behind. Sure, they can go a while without food, but how long was she going to be gone, exactly? And what if someone broke in and hurt them? Dela wouldn’t be able to forgive herself for leaving them behind, knowing how dangerous it was for her to stay here.

“Yeah sure, what’s-“ Shangela stopped in the doorway, immediately noticing the huge tank on Dela’s desk. “You have… pet turtles?”

Dela nervously smiled. “I need help moving their tank.”

Shangela frowned. “Can’t you ask someone to look after them for a week? It won’t be that long.” Dela stubbornly shook her head, her eyes full of concern and her lips pouting. “No one else has a tank for them! And I don’t want to leave them here when someone could come on by and try and hurt them. Please, Shangela?”

Shangela looked at Dela. Usually, she was able to resist people’s pouting faces, but she couldn’t help but give in to Dela and the love she had for her two turtles. She reluctivity sighed. “Fine, let’s empty the tank and get it in the car.”

And after a good half an hour of carefully dumping out the water and even more carefully getting the tank out of the apartment and into the floor of Dela’s back seat, they were finally ready to leave Dela’s.

Dela ran back to her apartment, double checking if she locked her door while Shangela chilled in the front passenger seat. She messed around with the radio, trying to find a station with some decent music to listen to for the ride, but found herself interrupted by a loud and high-pitched scream: Dela’s.