#hey everyone what if i killed my blog aesthetic by revealing how much of a secret nerd i am huh?? what if i did that??

[chrryjin]

sᴋᴢ ᴍʏsᴛɪᴄ ᴍᴇssᴇɴɢᴇʀ ᴀᴜ

Name: Kim Woojin

Birthdate: April 8, 1997

Occupation: Vocal trainer

Username: Teddybearwoojin, having a common name sucked so he had to be creative

Texting style: Usually uses proper grammar, but still will use acronyms and slang. Will leave it up to auto-capitalization.

Text bubble color: Mustard, basically a matte gold

Fun fact: He’s the eldest so he gets made fun of for being old a lot by the others. Everyone’s secretly terrified of him. Rarely posts selfies. Usually pretty chill.

Bad end: You end up kidnapped to Mint-Eye and get brainwashed into the cult, he didn’t make it in time to save you.

Good end: Woojin became your vocal trainer. He saw potential in you to become a singer, so he nurtured you. You both toured the world, and he proposed in one of your concerts.

Quote: “Whoa, it’s kind of weird to hear your voice instead of texting. Hm? You want me to sing you to sleep? Fine, but just this once.”

Name: Bang Christopher/Chan

Birthdate: October 3, 1997

Occupation: Actor

Username: CB97, his initials and birthyear

Texting style: Varied, usually proper grammer too. May type in all lowercase just for the aesthetic.

Text bubble color: Grey, since he couldn’t do black.

Fun facts: 1/3 of the ‘leader group’ 3racha (how everything started), the offical leader leader of the groupchat. Has you listen to song snippets that he produced as a hobby.

Bad end: You get into a scandal with him, his agency forcing him to denounce you. You end up harrassed by fans until you commit suicide.

Good end: You date in secret for a while, before he proposes to you on live national television. You accpet. The two of you overcome the hate and he retires to live a peaceful life.

Quote: “Me? Talented? Not really, but thank you! No, seriously I’m not! I think you’re the amazing one, organizing the party and everything.”

Name: Lee Minho

Birthdate: October 25, 1998

Occupation: Dance instructor

Username: Leeknow. He gets a lot of clowning for this.

Texting style: Lots of emojis, decent grammar. uses 🥴 a lot

Text bubble color: A turquoise/aquamarine

Fun facts: He has three cats that no one cares to remember. Those cats are his life clown them and die. Threatens to kill someone on a daily basis, also a flirter.

Bad end: On the way to his dance studio at night, you get robbed and eventually murdered for trying to fight back.

Good end: You encouraged and gave him confidence to follow his old dream of being an idol. With your support, he debuted in a group, and revealed your relationship before he retired.

Quote: “Hey beautiful, want to grab a drink sometime? Just kidding, but I’m always up for it. Drinks, or eliminating someone annoying for you.”

Name: Seo Changbin

Birthdate: August 11, 1999

Occupation: Producer

Username: SpearB, his ‘producer’ name.

Texting style: Uses a surprisingly cute style, lots of kao emojis (〃ω〃) and normal emojis despite his ‘darkness’

Text bubble color: Light pink. Edge lord sure.

Fun facts: 1/3 of 3racha. He’s a pretty well known producer, he’s made songs for multiple dramas and idols. He insists that he’s ‘edgy’ but he’s really not. Gets clowned for his height.

Bad end: You accidentally leak one of his works in progress and his music gets plagiarized. You get kicked out for betraying him.

Good end: You urged him to go into the spotlight rather than hide behind his music. He becomes known for his speed and spit-fire style, with you as his biggest supporter.

Quote: “What? Did you just call me short?! Binnie’s not short! He’s really mad now, hmph! It’s not funny! I’m seriously not short, hey!”

Name: Hwang Hyunjin

Birthdate: March 20, 2000

Occupation: Travel blogger

Username: Princejinnie, his nickname.

Texting style: He texts pretty normally. The occasional spell-check mess up, he uses emojis and slang too.

Text bubble color: Light blue, periwinkle.

Fun facts: He models part-time, but he’d rather have the places he visits become popular rather than his face. Super sensitive, a crybaby. Hated Jisung when he was younger.

Bad end: The bomb in the apartment malfunctions and goes off just as Hyunjin enters, the explosion killing you both.

Quote: “Hello? Hm? No, I’m not crying *sniffle*. Okay, maybe I am. The last episode of the drama got to me, okay? Maybe I can cry on your shoulder soon.”

E̸͗͗͊̽̓̈́͑̇̆̔̀��̡͔̲͇̦̙͙̗̳̣̹̤̩͇̣̥̫̩̜͙̈͊̿͐̃͂͒̔́̅̀̏͜͝ͅR̸̥͈̱̪̪̳̞̙̍̌̀͆̃̐̽͌̏̚͜͠Ṛ̸̡̤̞̗͈̜̱̫̖̫͉̤̂̽̓̍̏̾͋͆̃̃̈̑͘Ǒ̶̘̮͍̙̱̌͛̀́͂̉͒͊̈̈́́̑͛͑̈́̆̈́̄͑̚͠R̵̝̦̝̰͎̾̓͛͐̌̈̈́̕ A̸̢̛͉̱̙͙͇̟̻̲̻̮̦̝͛͑͋̂̂̿̂̋̄̀͒͊̌͌͘͝͠ľ̵̢͚̞̠̭̺̣͖̈́̆͛̀̍̽̂͋͜ţ̷̢̛̱̤̥̗͎̪̭̮̳͚̗̔̅͗̈́̆̈́̉͋̑̅͊̒͂̈́̽̄̕͘͝e̵͓̤͐̇̉̊̃͂͐͐̈́̃̐̐̏̉̀̏̃̀̈́͝͝ŕ̴̢̹̤̬̯̗̪̜̫͍͓̍͆͊̏͘n̴̺͕̪̮̮̰̔̎͂̂́̏͗̈́͂͝a̸͔̭̣̲̤͈̯̘͈͖̤̹̖̒̅̑̽͐͑̓͘͘͝ͅt̵̖̣̭͈͙́͌̾̎̆̆̈́̍̂́̆̈́́̓̒̈̀̀̀ȩ̶̧̱̥͈̫͓͖̦͓̳̜̼̻͓͇̑̂͊̈́̀͑̂̑͘͘͜ͅͅ ̷͔̮̫̋̋̏̅̊͗̈́Ȓ̶͍̼̅̄̅͒̈́͠o̷̪͓͔͉̖̥͚̗͈̎͌ų̷̹̦̱̬̪͍̖̭̱͇̬̼͂̔̿̌̉̔̍̉̿̄́̑͋̑͛̕͠t̴̢̛͙̭͍̮͍̝̝͕̬̺͚̲̙͙͒̐̂̐̀̒͑́͐͒̍̑̕ẹ̶̩̗̪̞̘̥͈̩͎̤̬͓̰̲̑̇̿̌̀͌͆̃͂̈̕͝

Occupation: Mint Eye’s hacker

Username: Unknown

Texting style: Super creepy, mysterious. Seems to know everything about you.

Text bubble color: Pure white

Fun facts: He was brainwashed at a young age, a devout follower of Mint Eye. The travel blog is a coverup, he usually scouts potential followers in those areas.

Bad end: He kidnaps you, and you end up brainwashed and suffer from stockholm syndrome, loving your kidnapper and willing to die for him.

Good end: You end up becoming his light, and you help him into the process of recovery. He makes up with Jisung, and his ‘coverup’ becomes his true self. He’s happy again, with you.

Quote: “Mint Eye is the only place where I matter. Everything else is always Jisung, Jisung, Jisung! Yoh liar! I don’t matter to you, how can I?”

Name: Han Jisung

Birthdate: September 14, 2000

Occupation: Producer

Username: J-One, his producer name.

Texting style: Sporadic, it can vary immensely. You can’t predict it. Has sporadic moments of deep thoughts.

Text bubble color: Light purple, lavendar

Fun Facts: 1/3 of 3racha. Famous producer, collabs with Changbin a lot. Usually ignored whenever he acts cute or makes a joke. Knows how to hack from his olden days.

Bad end: You get kidnapped and used as a hostage, Hyunjin betraying Stray Kids. Jisung sacrifices himself over to Mint Eye, but you die anyway.

Good end: You help him defeat and recover Hyunjin. They end up being closer than ever, and you a true companion for Jisung. You saw through his mask and saw who he truly was.

Quote: “Heyo! It’s your neighborhood squirrel~ Hehe, you’re the only one who laughs at my jokes, the only one who loves me in this forsaken world~”

Name: Lee Felix Yongbok

Birthdate: September 15, 2000

Occupation: Song writer

Username: Fortniteguy4419

Texting style: Lots of memes and slang, it’s a miracle if you understand what he texts. Similar to Jisung, has his moments.

Text bubble color: Bright yellow, a bit harsh on the eyes

Fun facts: He’s relatively new, similar to you. He’s not super famous yet, but he’s trying. He’s the one opening up chatrooms at horrible hours, preventing you from sleeping.

Bad end: He gets tricked into Mint Eye, and you decide to go solo to save him. You both end up becoming brainwashed followers.

Good end: Felix ends up making it big, he writes songs for you to sing together. The fans supported you the whole way, excited that you were together. You both move back to Australia.

Quote: “Eyy, let’s get it. Dare me to drink five Redbulls? Anway, it’s 3am and I’m probably going to die. You better save me with a kiss okay?”

Name: Kim Seungmin

Birthdate: September 22, 2000

Occupation: Prosecutor

Username: #1myday

Texting style: Proper grammar, but will use emojis like :3 occasionally. Will text in all caps a lot, especially when about Day6.

Text bubble color: Mint green, on the lighter side

Fun facts: Huge Day6 fan, will never shut up about them. You’d think he was the normal member but nope. Regularly threatens to kill someone, like Minho. Soft spots for Hyunjin and Jeongin.

Bad end: You end up becoming the target of a serial killer, the one Seungmin was investigating into. You end up murdered, even though the killer was caught.

Good end: The serial killer is caught, and Seungmin becomes a well-respected prosecutor. The both of you go after the criminals that no one wants, becoming an unstoppable duo.

Quote: “You listen to Day6 too?! Oh, that’s my favorite song as well! We should go to a concert together sometime! You’re my favorite, stan kings.”

Name: Yang Jeongin

Birthdate: February 8, 2001

Occupation: 3rd grade teacher

Username: Babyshark

Texting style: Relatively normal, probably the most normal out of everyone. Uses emojis and slang but not too much or too little.

Text bubble color: Hot pink, looks nearly like red.

Fun facts: The youngest, he gets babied. He’s kind of evil, and he could probably get away with murder in the groupchat. Hates aegyo, hates being babied. Kind of hates the members.

Bad end: You visit his school one day, but then a terrorist showed up. You and Jeongin end up dying from protecting his students.

Good end: You end up in a cute and wholesome relationship. You baby him a lot, and he could tolerate it since it was you. His students helped him propose, it was really cute.

Quote: “I think you’re the only normal one in the groupchat—What? I’m not a baby, I’m a man! I teach babies! Baby teaching babies—It’s not like thaaat!”

Bonus

Name: Y/N

Birthdate: XXXXX XX XXXX

Occupation: XXXXXX

Username: Readerinsert

Texting style: It varies from time to time, but usually lowercase due to laziness. Emojis are used a lot too, and so are abbreviations.

Text bubble color: Your favorite color

Fun facts: You were lured and basically trapped into a groupchat named Stray Kids, and you had to organize a party on their behalf. Sketchy, but the guys were all sweet so you couldn’t help it —

Quote: “Wait, did you say that this apartment could explode? Great! Give me the sweet release of death, escape from the capitalist world of depression and letdowns—”

[kyloreyorgana]

STAR WARS 9 ! TROS SPOILERS !

In case this is not obvious enough, this post will contain SPOILERS for the last Star Wars movie, which I’m just now coming home from. These are my first thoughts. I have tried to tag as best I could so that people who mute the tags don’t see my post. Do not proceed f you don’t want to read any spoilers.

You have been warned. Long (and I mean LONG) post ahead.

First of all, I’m happy to be back y’all! Just with TLJ, I come from months (or has it been years already ?) of inactivity to jump right back into the fandom, as obsessed as I was back when I came home from TFA. Which is funny because at the time TFA came out, I had lost all interest in Star Wars and heard so many critics from people who’d seen it and said it was horrible and that Disney basically sold the franchise to the devil that I didn’t even want to see it, to keep the good memories closer to my heart. One night, one month after its theatrical release, I thought “aw fuck I might as well see it, at least for Carrie, Mark and Harrisson” so I went to the cheap theater that was near my home... I had zero expectation, and really I think it’s the reason why I loved the movie so much. I didn’t chose to ship Reylo, this ship whacked me like Harley Quinn’s oversized hammer with the Hades and Persephone aesthetics. When I came out, completely mesmerized with what I had just seen, I jumped on Tumblr as soon as I got home, and I ended up creating this blog just days later. I wanted more and more, fics, metas, fanarts, headcannons, theories, cracks, I could never get enough. For TLJ and TROS, I had lost most interest in the fanfics and the fandom (because as much as I love the movies and some people in the fandom, most of it can eat shit as far as I’m concerned). I heard so many critics of TROS already, I was afraid I was going to be disappointed. But I loved it. Only Star Wars can make me go from utterly uninterested to “Wow I can’t wait to see this new Star Wars in theater, what a time to be alive”, to a stage of total obsession that lasts for months. And that is the reason why I don’t give two shits about anyone disliking the movies. It’s sad you didn’t like them, but it made me feel the same way I felt right back when I was a child watching the original movies with my father. It feels like home. And that is the best thing I could ask for.

Like in TLJ, I cried as soon as I heard the first note of the opening. The last Skywalker story, the last time I ever see my Space Mommy on the big screen...

I know the Reylo community is about to be nuts. The whole movie, like TLJ before it, is basically a series of things we’ve already done in fics and theories. I am 100% positive I have read a fic where Rey and Ren try to hold back a ship with the Force and Rey ends up involuntarily shooting lightning. Whichever one of you did it is probably going to have a stroke in the theater. I nearly did.

And really, I wish I could see the look on the Antis’ faces when they see the movie. I’m sure it is a sight to behold. I wanted to scream “TAKE THAT, BITCHES” more than once. As in TLJ.

My biggest fear was what they would do with Leia. I knew Disney said they wouldn’t use CGI and chose to stick with the scenes Carrie had already shot, and I was afraid it wouldn’t honor Leia’s legacy. Well I... have mixed feelings. While the way they used Carrie’s scenes and made it look like she really is here is to be lauded, it sometimes feels like Leia had nothing interesting to say but they tried to put her in a dialogue anyway, because she needed to be seen doing (or rather, saying) something in the Resistance. And about her death... I still can’t put my finger on what exactly I didn’t like about it but I felt like something was missing. Watching the scene, at first I didn’t know if she was having a heart attack or if she stabbed herself or chose to give up her life because she somehow felt it was the moment, I’m still not sure just why she did what she did. I wish they put something more to motivate her decision and explain what exactly she does. I don’t know, a flashback of Leia holding baby Ben, a little more dialogue, something. Not just Leia suddenly getting up and going to bed whispering her son’s name. 

I knew I was going to be disappointed. Among all the celebrities’ deaths, Carrie’s is the one that affected me the most, and believe me I was a wreck when Bowie passed. I miss her, I think about her every single day. And Leia deserved more, much more. When I saw TFA, part of the reason why I loved the movie was that, even though it pained my heart that Han and Leia’s son turned out this way, I thought they would make it right. I spent hours imagining a scene in the 9th movie where Ren would defeat Rey (incapacitate her the Skywalker style cutting her hand or something) and approach to give the killing blow, and Leia would enter the scene, pick up Rey’s lightsaber, look her son dead in the eye and say “Over my dead body, son”. Because Leia would never give up without a fight, even with her son. And she would get her son back, and her story arc would have been completed. I would have paid good money to see this. 

Episode 9 was supposed to be Leia’s movie, just like ep. 7 was Han’s and ep. 8 was Luke’s. When Carrie died, I knew it would be compromised and it broke my heart, because Leia deserved better. She lost everything. Her parents, her planet, her father, her husband, her son, her brother, the Rebellion, the Resistance, everything. She fought all the way, all her life even faced with the worst odds she never gave up hope, she inspired hundreds of people to keep fighting for what is right, and she would never have a satisfactory ending. What a fucking heartbreak. She didn’t even get to see Lando. Leia deserved more. Every little girl in this world who grew up with her as a role model deserved more. But c’est la vie, as we say in French... My only solace is that I know fanfics and fanarts are going to make me feel a little better about it.

Of course I cried every time I saw her on screen, and especially when they honored her body, as we all honored Carrie when she passed away. This was one of the many fanservice moments, and surely the one I liked the most, although there was some concurrence (more to it later).

Another thing I didn’t like is what they did to Poe’s character. Many people disliked TLJ because of it, which they attributed to a political agenda of hate on men. This is so ridiculous and has already been debated enough that I won’t get into it. I did like the evolution of his character in TLJ, because for me it was an interesting character development as well as a good message: wartime is not only about barging in fights head first, shoot first think later, as is, let’s be honest, everything Anakin ever does. At one point, the narrative of the reckless hero who saves the day when a situation seems impossible and everyone begs him not to do it gets old. Sometimes in war, you have to think ahead, to plot, and yes, listen to what your allies have to say. And it actually was a good critic of toxic masculinity. Could the conflict between Poe and Holdo have been avoided with minimally sane conversation ? YES. But the message was here (as were Holdo’s hair and dress and WOW gurl) and I thought that was it, and Poe would evolve into a wiser person.

But this Poe is, at least in the first half of the movie, not very likable. Hear me, I never really liked Han Solo (never been into macho men) but I really loved Poe in TFA because he was genuinely nice and brave. Here, he’s bitter and annoying. I told myself that he was jealous of Rey because he heard of Finn’s crush on her and he wanted to keep Finn all for himself, which I know is just a crack headcannon, but hey, anything to make it better I guess.

Of course, I’ll never forgive Disney for not making FinnPoe a thing, when even Oscar Isaac ships them hard. And trying to make Poe flirt with the other girl (whose name I even forgot and whose face we didn’t even see, now tell me again how Star Wars has been corrupted by feminists... sigh)  Speaking of, it is me or did two women kiss at the end ? 

I liked the new droid, it reminded me of my puppy. But at the end, it was just another fanservice moment, it didn’t really do anything useful onscreen apart from being cute and funny.

When Rey was finally revealed to be a Palpatine as I hoped, I giggled like a wee girl. Watching TFA, I begged the old gods and the new that they wouldn’t make her another Skywalker, because it would’ve spoiled the Star Wars spirit for me. The whole franchise, in my opinion, is a story about fighting for what you believe is right, no matter who you or your parents are or where you come from. Even though Luke and Leia’s ended up being Vader’s children, they weren’t the only meaningful characters. Anakin was basically a Space Jesus and went from a total nobody to the Chosen One. I didn’t want Rey to be a Skywalker because it would mean that your importance would only ever lay in your bloodline, and that is depressing and totally against the spirit of the Rebellion/Resistance: no matter who you are, you can fight for what is right. For this reason, I wished for Rey to be either a real nobody or Palpatine’s granddaughter, which is also why I liked the fact that Han and Leia’s son turned out bad, even though it made me sad for them (Leia didn’t deserve this). No matter your bloodline, you can always make things right, or fuck up badly if you let yourself be taken away. And, of course, the reveal that Rey and Kylo Ren are two sides of the same coin (aka one of the many times where I picture us Reylos screaming CALLED IT in our seats) was exactly what I hoped for, a beautiful balance. I didn’t share Palpatine’s implication that a Palpatine and a Skywalker are meant to work together, though. That is not how I choose to interpret this duality. That is not what they end up doing, anyway.

Speaking of that old pal Patine, seeing the trailers I feared I would feel nauseated that they chose to reanimate the Big Old Villain, just like they reanimated the Even Bigger Death Star in TFA (how lazy can you be ?). But I enjoyed it. What saved it was Palpatine’s will to be killed by Rey to perpetuate the Sith rite of passage. I don’t even care if it’s cannon or not. I was afraid they would recreate Vader’s dilemma in ROTJ with Rey, but I liked the choices she made. And the throne scene worked for me. Like the rest of the movie it was flawed, for instance we don’t even get an explanation on how he survived. Just like we don’t even get what Finn wanted to tell Rey, even though it was emphasized several times. Was it a love declaration ? What happened to the rushed romance with Rose in TLJ ? (What happened to Rose, actually). While we’re at it, why did Palpatine want Ren to kill Rey ? So many questions. So many flaws.

And, of course I cannot comment this film without mentioning my sweet star-crossed lovers, Rey and Ben. First, I’m really eager to see your reactions. We did it, Reylos! Years of hate and slander and we were right all along. Let’s rejoice.

I like Rey’s evolution. For the moment, I don’t feel like I have too much to say about it (which is fine because this post is way too long already). I like the way she handles her emotions, I like her choices and her character evolution. 

And Ben. Oh, sweet Ben. Although I think the part where he gets his old mask fixed wasn’t necessary, I kinda like what they did with him as well. I must say though that I liked his hair in TFA better.  Oh boy, I loved Kylo Ren but I absolutely adore Ben Solo. And I think the way the movie depicts him even surpasses some fics. The moment when Rey gives him the lightsaber and he gets up and does the Han shrug  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯  I almost lost my mind. This ties with the hommage to Leia’s body as my favorite fanservice moment.

And their relationship... Look, I know I wet my pants really enjoyed myself in TLJ when they held hands, but that scene felt rushed even for me who ships them with the force of a thousand suns. Like many things in TLJ (and, as I said, also in TROS) it felt like things I had already seen in fanfics, but in the fics I enjoyed the most Rey had tried to kill him at least 5 mores times before even agreeing to have a one-on-one conversation with him. Their romance in TLJ felt like it was hormone-driven, but I get Johnson couldn’t really do a slow burn in 2 hours. When Leia died and they both felt it in the Force, I could feel that Rey wanted to touch him, to confort him, to grieve with him. I’m glad she didn’t. It wasn’t time. And I really like that she told him she wanted to hold Ben’s hand, not his. And Ben, the Dork Knight, finally realized that if he wanted The Girl, he shouldn’t, you know, threaten her and chase her but get back to the Light Side like she begged him multiple times. Because he really isn’t the sharpest knife in the drawer, this is apparently what makes him choose to tip over. That or the fact she saved his life. I was still frustrated by Leia’s death so I don’t know if I’m not entirely convinced because it happened just after, I’d have to watch it again. I liked Han’s moment, though.

And in my opinion, Rey and Ren’s fight on the wreck of the Death Star is as good as Anakin and Obi-Wan’s. My Reylo heart will always have a special place for their couple fight in TLJ (aka the best non-sex sex scene in cinema, don’t @ me) but I also liked this fight in light of their relation. Surprisingly, it reminded me more of their fight at the end of TFA, when we see Ren holding his blows and Rey barging in. I thought it was endearing.

The end. Oh my god, the end. I can’t wait to see the first gifs and I really really can’t wait for the HD gifs, because oh boy, I now only live for Ben Solo’s smile. That’s it, I found my will to live, my depression is cured. And the way he handles Rey’s body with the utmost care (while Finn apparently watches it and does or says nothing). And that kiss... And the SMILE. And the KISS. 

Oh, dear gods. Oh dear.

I can’t wait for the first fics in which Ben doesn’t die and they live happily ever after on Tatooine or Naboo or wherever they damn want. Or the fics where he is indeed dead and they still share a beautiful relationship (if Force Ghost Luke could get his X-Wing out of the water, I’m eager to imagine what Ben would do with his Force dick, tongue and fingers. Forgive me, it’s getting late and I’m still flustered thinking of their kiss)

And the fact that she declares herself a Skywalker ? I know a lot of people are disappointed in this, but apart from the fact that she completely deserves the title in my opinion when she inherited the will of both Luke and Leia, which is reason enough, she is absolutely married to Ben and deserves her place in that family. Also, it’s again a beautiful way to remind you that bloodlines don’t matter as much as what we choose to do with our lives. And while I’m glad they showed Leia’s Force ghost (I would’ve been really mad if they didn’t) I’m super frustrated they didn’t show Ben’s. What am I to believe, that he gave his life for her, became one with the Force and vanished into litteral nothingness for him to never be seen again ? Like hell I don’t. Again, counting on the fics and arts to right this wrong.

The movie sure has its flaws, and I still have many unanswered questions, like what the fuck is the badge Maz gives Chewie, or how Rey does her lightsaber staff at the end, and I wish they explained some things better. I wasn’t sure if the saber Leia wanted Rey to have was hers or her mother’s. Most of those questions will be answered by bigger geeks than me in this fandom, so I really can’t wait to read from y’all.

I know a whole lot of people are going to hate the movie. The antis, the gatekeeping trve fans (already I’ve seen people say that those who enjoyed the movies are not Real Star Wars Fans and welp, we’re going to see a lot of shit). The manbabies who genuinely believe in a feminist takeover and see equality as a direct threat. I’m specifically happy they will be disappointed while I got the privilege of enjoying Star Wars as much as I did. It’s not my fault, or Disney’s fault even, that they turned out to be on the Empire’s side. And the day has not come when I defend a megacorporation. 

Leia was the first SJW. The Resistance lives on. People will always fight against evil, like it or not. I know the world is a shitty place and we don’t have much hope nowadays for things to get better, and Star Wars has always motivated me to keep going and stick to my values and my convictions. I felt chills several times in the movie, like at the end where everyone comes to fight, and now I’m more willing to keep fighting than ever. For Leia.

Godspeed, Rebels! 

[franeridart]

Merry Christmas!! I hope you are happy, and have a good New Year! 😁

Thank you!!! I hope you had a wonderful Christmas and will have a wonderful New Year too!!

Anon said:aaaaawwwnnn the good ol' platonic (or not, depending on the interpretation) bak*deku

I’m not anti anything anon, so you never gotta worry about that! I have ships I like and ships I don’t and ships I’m indifferent about, but I’m a firm believer in the ship and let ship principle~ sadly bkdk is strictly platonic for me (I see them too much as sibs for it to work in a romantic way, at this point), but I do adore their relationship and the way Horikoshi is writing it TT^TT it’s def one of my favorite Bakugou relationships, such a wonderfully complex story 💕

Anon said:Have you ever thought about drawing Bakushima as different ships? Like, from different shows. Put them in their outfits and such? I thought that wouls be pretty cool. Sorry if someone has already suggested this! I thought maybe Black Butler style ? Fruits basket, Death note, ect. ❤

I have in the past drawn them in AUs inspired by characters from other fandoms, if that’s what you’re asking! At the top of my head I can remember drawing them as Black⭐Star and Tsubaki from Soul Eater, Doumeki and Watanuki from xxxHolic and Jacuzzi and Nice from Baccano!, but I’m sure those are not the only ones... I’m never against that sort of AUs, if you have anything you’d like to see ask and I’ll see if I know the fandom you’re thinking about! :D

Anon said://squints// did your.... Did your lineart imPROVE??? holy maples Fran ur killing me with ur art I wanna survive my last 7 months of high school--

If you think so, then I’m seriously happy and glad to hear it! Thank you so much!! I feel like I’ve been getting sloppier actually, ngl, but I have been trying new tools for the line, so maybe that’s the difference you’re seeing!

Anon said:Gonna say anonymously caz' i'm too embarrassed to reveal myself for now, but I love your blog and art so damn much!!! Been following you for two years and you really inspired me to draw and really to stay in touch with bnha. Again, love you so much and hope you a merry Christmas!!!

Ahhhhh anon thank you so much!!! I’m happy I can make you keep up with bnha, ngl!! And I hope you’ve had a wonderful amazing christmas too!!!

Anon said:Sero with the long hair can murder me

He wouldn’t!

Anon said:what do you think of bakukamijirou 👀

I don’t ship it, sorry :( as far as shipping Bakugou goes, I only ship him around if Kirishima is involved - I do have a few Baku ships I like just for the aesthetics (like with Jirou, or Todoroki!) but I wouldn’t really call it “shipping”, I just like to see them next to each other cause their designs work well together haha

Anon said:Hello? Yes. Hi. Dave I love. Thank you.

I’m so happy to hear that!!! TT^TT thank you so much!!!

Anon said:Kamijirou cures my depression :3

WELL IF THAT ISN’T A MOOD!!

Anon said:Have you every considered a voltron au for your ocs? I know youve made a voltron au befores so i was wondering if you ever did it for anything else (i really love all your art have a lovely day

I’ve never, actually :thinking: the vld fandom is very scary to me so I try to keep away from it, ngl! I’ve also not watched past the first season of the cartoon itself so by now I don’t think I have the necessary information to make AUs based on that fandom, but the concept of my kids in space or piloting mechas is a wonderful one nonetheless haha

Anon said:Ah man I love dav so much. It makes me so happy when you post your sweet green haired boy. Day: brightened.

:sob: thank you SO MUCH!!!! TT^TT it makes me so happy to hear you like my boy!!

Anon said:I love and appreciate every variety of your ocs

THANK YOU!!!💕💕

Anon said:You: This is my boy. | Me: I love him so much and his hair and his shirt- 👌

Thank you so much!! His hair and clothes make less sense every time I draw him, but I have fun with it so I’m glad you like them anyway hahaha

Anon said:Hey! Who is he? He looks cool

Thank you so muuuccchhhh!!! His name is Dave!! He doesn’t really have much of a story, but he’s a uni student and likes music, philosophy and cats! He has a bunch of friends I draw him with now and again, and they mostly spend their time avoiding studying and being generally ridiculous :D

Anon said:Just wanted to let you know your art style is GORGEOUS. You're one of the few people on this site whose art always makes me excited to see it. I'm a huge Bakushima fan to begin with but your Bakugou is just...oof. lol I don't know if it's the hooded eyes or the undercut but you make him HAVE it!

That’s such high praise oh my god! TTOTT I’m glad you like how I draw my boy, he makes me so happy to doodle !!!!! 💞💞💞

Anon said:The two art post with "An unexpected sappy thought" and "Bunch of stuff from yesterday I finally managed to finish" were both flagged. i tried to send them to u, but couldn't. Just thought you should know if you haven't been notified yet! sorry that i cant be much help. (also the protest starts in like 10 min for me, so youre probably off already if youre doing it) sorry for bothering!

Anon said:hey your post (a colored fanart) of kirishima and bakugou cuddling w/ song lyrics as the caption got flagged, just thought i’d let you know if you didn’t see it :( stupid tumblr

These are pretty old asks at this point but I wanted to thank you for the heads up anyway! I have gone through my posts twice already and new flagged things always pop up, so the fact that you took the time to let me know was seriously huge help! Thank you so much!!

Anon said:hi i just saw your year summery-thingy and i just realized that i have followed you for more than a year now and i just want to say thank you for all the beutiful art i have seen !! you are truly one of my favorite artist i hope that you are well

Ah man thank you so much!!! I’m so so happy to hear you’ve been following me that long, it’s incredible to me!! I hope I’ll manage to get out of the slump I’ve fallen into soon enough orz meanwhile thank you for sticking around!! 💕

Anon said:Seeing your art summary makes my soul feel the urge to have your beautiful kiribaku art in a book. Have you ever thought about making a little zine with some of your illustrations? Or selling prints ;___; You're absolutely amazing!

Oh heck thank you so much for being interested in something like that! I’ve actually thought about something of the like, but if I ever did it would be a small zine with pieces made specifically for it! I have to research the whole thing a bit more, but in case I’ll reach a point where it’s a concrete possibility I’d first post something to check the actual interest in it between everyone! ;^;

Anon said:... Why BakuJiro tho?

Why not! They are good friends, have a nice dynamic, and their styles match together well! And Jirou’s so tiny next to him, I like the idea of Baku hugging her a whole lot as it might have become obvious by this point haha

Anon said:7w7r I see you there

I dunno what this is about but !!! neat!!

Anon said:Soooo,,, DabiHawks or Hawks single? I have curious for how would a drawing of them be made by you

I’ve said this a couple of times before, but I’m really only interested in dabihawks if Dabi is Touya at this point! I might change my mind if Hori develops their relationship more, but right now that’s how it is... and until I have more concrete proofs of Touya and Dabi being the same person I don’t wanna get too involved with the ship, in case I end up disappointed haha

Anon said:Fran, have you ever posted a selfie before? For some reason, I imagine you looking a little more like Kuroo from Haikyuu!! Haha.

I haven’t! I prefer being behind the camera instead of before it hahaha a couple years ago you would have been right! By now I have too much hair for it, tho lol also, I wear glasses and have a bunch of piercings and earrings that Kuroo doesn’t have (but should have, cause it’d be hot 👀👀👀)

[garden-ghoul]

return of the blog, part 6

“I can’t believe I tricked myself into mandatory subheading/blurb things”

THE LAST DEBATE

I’m going to quickly try to guess what they’re debating. It definitely has to do with Aragorn, if only obliquely, because he’s such a hot topic these days. It might be like “should Aragorn reveal himself as the True King??” or it might be like “should we march on Mordor to act as a diversion for Frodo and Sam?” or it might be like “would it make marching on Mordor more likely if Aragorn revealed himself as the True King?” FIND OUT THIS AND MORE UNDER THE CUT.

No debate yet. Legolas and Gimli are off to see their hobbit pals; Gimli wants to berate them for being so much trouble (and hug them) and Legolas... I guess wants to smile benevolently but slightly creepily at them? That’s what he does, right? Anyway I think it’s rather odd that they need to “beg leave to go into the city” (all the fighting’s done, isn’t it? Maybe they’re supposed to help shovel corpses?), and then there’s this great description of how they look together:

Legolas was fair of face beyond the measure of Men, and he sang an elven-song in a clear voice as he walked in the morning; but Gimli stalked beside him, stroking his beard and staring about him.

Legolas is such an airhead, or he just doesn’t care if he annoys anyone by singing. I love him. Gimli is 100% me though, from the fact that he “stalks” to the fact that he is stroking his face and staring. That’s the ghoul aesthetic. I seriously do stalk everywhere. So they meet Prince Dol Amroth and tell him to go take council with Aragorn outside the city. Listen, Aragorn, it’s kind of pointless to pretend you aren’t taking over rulership of the city if you’re just... moving war councils out to wherever you fancy and actually making it more inconvenient for everyone. Like, your symbolic gestures are a little half-baked.

Legolas and Gimli are talking while they walk like, “what IS it about humans?” “well, it’s probably their high reproductive rate.” “oh yeah that makes sense. HEY SEAGULLS. GIMLI DID YOU KNOW.... I GOT A BAD CASE OF THE SEAGAYS...” “:(” Actually here I’m condensing two conversations, like half an hour apart, into one. But in my defense Tolkien really did not make that clear. Legolas tells the hobbits about how they got from the Paths of the Dead to Pelennor. I didn’t find any of it interesting except for this passage:

Pale swords were drawn; but I know not whether their blades would still bite, for the Dead needed no longer any weapon but fear. None would withstand them.

It’s really fun how unclear it is whether they are just Super Scary and people are throwing themselves overboard to get away, or if they actually are exuding a powerful curse of suicide. Metal. Oh also the dead army didn’t even make it to Pelennor. The stolen ships were manned by freed slaves and people from just, around the general region of Lebennin.

NOW we go to the debate at Aragorn’s. Gandalf tells everyone that, as Denethor saw, trying to win against Sauron in outright battle is just completely impossible. So they need some craftier way to beat him! Specifically, they need a way to keep him certain that Minas Tirith currently has the Ring. And they need to empty Mordor of combatants so it will be safer for Sam and Frodo to travel through. I’m looking at the map, and it can’t be more than a week’s walk to Orodruin from Cirith Ungol, if they don’t have to take too many detours. Aragorn and co just need to stall for time. Gandalf’s plan is to do something so incredibly dumb that Sauron will assume “only someone who possesses the Ring would be confident enough to pull a stunt like this!” So they’re going to take about 7000 people and try to assault Mordor. But as Gandalf says, for what they’re doing “there are names among us that are worth more than a thousand mail-clad knights apiece.”

THE BLACK GATE OPENS

Merry is upset that he’s too injured to come on the suicide mission. But Pippin can go! To represent hobbits! Ummm dude Merry is probably more worried about his best friend dying? Maybe? Also weren’t there supposed to be elves eventually. Maybe from Lorien. I’m sure they’re coming. Galadriel has a natural instinct for drama, so they’ll show up at precisely the most dramatic time.

The army rides for Minas Morgul, only to destroy the bridge so nothing bad can come out of it. Because they are goodies two-shoes they also wash off some graffiti on the way. They also regularly shout “ARAGORN IS HERE!” really loudly, just in case it might incite someone to attack them. They look like real boneheads tbh. When they get to the Horrible Nightmare Desert a lot of people just can’t go on because it’s so filled with evil thoughts and they’re just mostly young teens who really don’t belong here and want to go home. So Aragorn sends them to do murders in a more pleasant place, since there’s still plenty of murdering that needs to be done.

Wait sorry one of the features of the desert that was just mentioned is “vomit of the maggot folk of Mordor.” WHAT IS THAT. THE MAGGOT-FOLK? The way that it’s described makes me imagine some kind of enormous burrowing worms, which is FANTASTIC. Please let me meet the maggot-folk of Mordor. Like I know that’s not what maggots do but let a guy dream.

The army comes to the gate of Morannon and they shout “HEY. KILLING US UNPROVOKED IS ILLEGAL. SAURON COME OUT SO WE CAN ARREST YOU.” Sauron tells his thralls to do a really dramatic pause, and then... right... NOW do the drums and trumpets, yes, just like that, this is sick as fuck I bet they’re terrified. Now we’ll send out Ghost Rider (no seriously the Mouth of Sauron is described exactly like Ghost Rider) to taunt them. Ghost Rider is actually a human, a “black Numenorean.” no JOHNALD black Numenoreans are just cool guys who happen to be black. This is an EVIL Numenorean. Hey remember how great he was in the movie? He did this cute dumb smile that was really charming. I remember watching a special explanatory video on how they made the gross open wounds around his mouth, I am enormously fond of him. THIS version is more obviously just a normal person. Aragorn like, stares at him sort of menacingly and he cringes and goes “I’m an AMBASSADOR you’re not allowed to hurt me!!”

Then he holds up Frodo’s personal effects and says “Hey we are going to torture him until he is a horrible thing... UNLESS you cede all lands east of the Anduin to Sauron. This is some classic early WWII Nazi fuckery, honestly. First the lands east of the Anduin, then the entire south, then they’ll be spreading into Arnor, and when they’ve got the elves cut off and surrounded they kill them too. But Gandalf is like “uh hold on there is literally no single person who is worth that much. Fuck off.” And he takes Sam’s sword and the mithril coat and whacks Ghost Rider in the face with wizard light. All very badass, until the gate opens and 80,000 orcs and Easterlings come out. Everyone points their pointy things outward. Pippin gets ready to die, hopefully ASAP so he won’t have to see too much carnage. He misses Merry. He kills one guy and almost immediately gets sat on by a troll, and passes out. 

Also, eagles?

[lilietsblog]

Strike Witches episode 1: first impression

so im gonna try strike witches: the unknown anime i chose to not familiarize myself with the premise beyond 'something like fighter pilots i think?' that i picked up by osmosis

oh hey look a discarded doll. def war is hell vibes here

cant say im a fan of the visuals from the first several seconds, the color scheme and everything seems kinda bland? the only reason im making this observation is bc i had to pause to let it load tho

oh look Very Noticable CGI

(i have a headache and am vaguely nauseous and basically am Very Cranky as a result)

man, there aren't even characters yet. it's been almost two minuets and there still aren't people for me to relate too that's a crime by which i dont mean that literally but just 'this might not be the thing i want to watch right now'

oh hey monsters okay this is better than just straight up war is hell between humans omfg in 1939 subtle 'we wanna play with ww2 era toys but without bringing up the fact japan was on the side of nazi germany' i assume sure im onboard if thats the premise

magitech??? magitech!!!

that's. their legs. in those things. are they evoking Baba Yaga and her travels in a stupa bc thats okay panty shots i think imma quit at the end of this episode

oh i. just realized this is the movie that actually makes it a bit better and gives me more hope lets try the actual first episode first

ok the first shot is of the sky and not a discarded doll that's already better

holy shit whatever this video player is it allows to load external captions from pc or url. technology progresses at an incredible pace

i love that the fighter planes are clearly shown attacking the vortex first 9u9

opening has so many girls wearing shoes but no pants. im just. this entire device's entire point is clearly to fanservice that does not mean this is bad character-wise yet ofc. i watched and liked fucking rosario+vampire. this show has a chance yet. lets see what its got

the op song is nice its also very straightforward about aesthetic of this show being 'girls without pants in absolutely non-sexual situaitons' and i can respect that

and oh look it actually does start with characters interacting right after exposition that's what im talking about

okay so now might be a good time to mention that the first context i heard of strike witches was uh. misogynist porn. like the kind that doesnt go for 'look at these relatable characters being kinky' but for 'consider: what if powerful girls got hurt instead'. so thats the context in my brain and i want to fucking overwrite it

military uniforms+panties are definitely an aesthetic and im incredibly amused by it okay every single girl here doesnt wear pants sure that actually looks like a swimsuit rather than panties and thats nice

also they are characterizing the protagonist! like i know thats not much to ask for but im going into this straight off blogging about madoka and this is just such a relief! she is kind and brave and plucky and talks gently to a scared kitten and I love her also she Does Not Think Things Through shes like the typical shonen protagonist but a girl. im in

Yoshika her name is Yoshika

and her motivation is her dad but eh sure whatever I kind of like the touch of 'it was classified military information' not sure why

theres nothing about Yoshika that qualifies her other than her personality and magic powers huh

yep thats a swimsuit aww shes a healer!

I love that the military observers rush to help as soon as they see something is off theres work and then theres helping emergencies

oh!!!! her mom and grandma are around!!! and teaching her!!! im happy!!!

Yoshika why is all that a 'but' to 'you should learn to control your power' i dont think there was any subtext of 'you shouldnt even try' there? or was it? maybe i should just trust her for now

awww Yoshika actually doesn't want to go to war <3 but this woman thinks she will because she wants to help people and she'll help people the most there I I like this ;~; I'm so happy I like this I love Yoshika's 'fuck war' instinct I love her drive to help everyone and in fact the trope of magical healer almost killing themselves to help a patient (despite it being professionally inadvisable) is actually the thing i made my very first rp character sooo :> you know. stuff something is fishy about that letter. its no coincidence it was sent just now... I love Sakamoto and her A+ social skills HA HA HA HA HA also huh... she's not in on whatever's up with that letter

Yoshika so uh alright she'll take her without enlisting her huh interesting but uh what about school I guess military and witches can override all that and it kind of makes sense to me thematically

'Britannia' gee how familiar that name sounds and i dont mean geographically

so hm could Yoshika be a military doctor without actually enlisting? how do the formalities work there i like that Sakamoto doesnt question her dislike of all things military like its unexpected but mostly bc Sakamoto's got a one track mind that has a hard time expecting anything other than what she wants to happen and beyond that its like 'sure ok a conscientous objector got it' even though its weird how there would be conscientous objectors to fighting MONSTERS its not like theres an alternative to not fight I mean also clearly Yoshika is a kid and theres room left for that in other characters' treatment of her opinions and I love that they dont get Offended that she doesn't understand and Have Proper Respect well Sakamoto doesn't at least not sure about how other people will react

man that raccoon on the road sure was convenient though. like i first thought it was Sakamoto's deliberate tactic to gauge Yoshiko's powers. she was opening her eye to i guess do just that visually and then the raccoon appeared and it just felt very natural that one follows from the other? is this foreshadowing or are the writers of this anime just unfamiliar with the concept of 'subtle' i dont mind if its the latter tbh

(im writing a ton of reflection bc the episode broke after i tried to rewind a little and i decided to download it after all, and its doing that)

so far, this show seeems nicely straightforward and fast paced. like, really straightforward. yoshiko's introduction? saving a kitten. making a ww2 era anime without difficult shit? monsters attacked in 1939. motivations and revelations are handled with all the subtlety of a hammer to the face, from the raccoon to the letter. even fanservice has the same charming quality that makes me actually be okay with the entire point of their outfits being gratuitous panty shots. making sense and having pretense is for the weak. this anime knows what it wants to be and is going straight for that. i respect that approach

also its p clear that what it wants is to be character driven and its been Delivering on that since its only half episode one and i already Love two characters personally and also some supporting cast (Yoshiko's entire family)

and like you know that in some other show GASP MIGHT MY DAD BE STILL ALIVE would be a reveal saved for like. the halfway point. but here its literally the starting point spurring everything into action bc all other motivation was just too slow to get the character where she was supposed to go. good job yo

there's this trope where the main character doesn't want to go into the main conflict (Refusal of the Call)... and very often it's handled by either 1) letting them wallow until everything goes to shit showing how wrong they were or 2) immediately conveniently wrecking everything so they have no choice now I uh. am really glad this show went a different way if just joining the conflict isnt a good enough motivation GET A BETTER ONE and IT DOESNT HAVE TO BE ANGST (and it doesn't have to be romance, either!!! why are those two the only things writers seem to be able to think of jfc)

...okay I was more like two thirds through the episode rather than half but my points stand

okay so I think what just happened was Yoshiko realized the parallel between herself and her dad leaving and got scared and her response was to comfort other people and I love that <3

I love that Sakamoto doesn't have a doubt in her mind that Yoshiko isn't going to be useless and will definitely help and also comes to her to discuss this explicitly <3

man I love Sakamoto and her absolute lack of social graces and sense of when enough is enough

and the fact that Yoshiko is working chores now and seems to enjoy it too <3

and it's when it's established that she's part of the team that Sakamoto starts showing off <3 she clearly has a dedicated well thought out campaign of convincing Yoshiko going on and its borne out not of manipulation but of clear conviction that she is right and she just has to show the girl what she doesnt know yet <3

ahaha of course showing off worked <3

so I paused and imma make a bet with myself on whether Sakamoto is going to tell her 'if you liked that you can join' right now or leave that unsaid subtly my bet is that she is, bc subtlety is an entirely foreign concept to this wonderful human being, and if i lose im going to make my bed right now not even waiting for the end of the episode let's see

oh she starts with education huh, this is not widely known? i had no idea anyway lets see if she says the thing

I love that it's her dad and it's this kind thing of 'this is what he said he was going to do, and he did' <3

huh so that was slightly more subtlety than I expected, she offered her to try them rather than trying to recruit her directly so I lost the bet gotta go make the bed now

BAM DONE YAY GOOD SELF CARE

hey more main characters!!!! I love all of you already!!! you have personality and discuss things that make sense!!! including their outfits!!! I love them!!!! the parasol girl is my favorite but also the tiny girl and the red-haired girl they are all my favorites!!!

omfg a month of travel and half a day early Yoshiko gets impatient I love her

YOU ARE A NONCOMBATANT she said with the steely confidence of a commanding officer <3

I love so much that Sakamoto respects Yoshiko's boundaries re: fighting???

OMG THE ENDING SONG I LOVE IT

I love the upbeat and airy tone this show manages to have despite the premise??? like I had trepidations at the start bc I dislike doom&gloom-heaviness of 'war is hell' narratives and I'm not a WW2 affictionado. but instead of shiny boom boom toys and angst it's all character adorableness and so much sky??? even the lack of pants ends up feeling like freedom this is the anime we all deserve

[acoolguyscoollife]

Chapter 2: Irradiated Bananas

“Bullshit.” The word came quickly and unanimously from all three of us. Tabitha was clearly not expecting this response, and her expression quickly turned to a frown. She looked behind her, at the computer, then back at us. A moment or so passed with a silence so uncomfortable that I felt the urge to say anything to make it end. Thankfully I was stopped from saying something hasty and dumb by Tabitha finally responding.

“You don’t believe me? Fine, get on the tables then.” She gestured to the tables that had come out of the ground, and we got onto them, seeing no alternative. I barely managed to fit inside without taking off my sunglasses and almost considered doing it for an easier experience, but didn’t. I wasn’t giving up looking cool no matter what. Very quickly I felt a whooshing feeling, for want of a better descriptor, and I wasn’t where I had been anymore. And it surprised me, because for all intents and purposes, I felt like I had actually moved. So obviously, I began testing the limits of the machine. I burst into a series of awesome, indescribable karate moves, the likes of which have never been seen and would make men weep and woman lust for my… okay maybe I’m getting carried away. The point was, I tried everything I could to break the machine as soon as she connected me to it. When I had finally given up, a glance upwards after I had flopped to the floor in tiredness revealed the other three to be staring at me.

“Should I even ask?” Tabitha said, staring at me with an expression that just screamed tired mother.

“Tryna break yo’ shit, fool.” I replied, before passing out for a moment. When I came to, I hadn’t moved at all, and nothing had changed. I did say it had only been for a moment. “I don’t get it!” I said as I did a cool-ass backflip type thing. Which is to say, I rolled backwards, got stuck slightly, fell onto my side and sheepishly stood up. “So, you weren’t joking? We’re really in some kind of life-replicating simulation?”

“Of course I wasn’t joking!” Tabitha replied, indignantly. “This technology is next level. If it hadn’t been for my mentor, this tech wouldn’t have existed. I-” Tabitha continued to talk, but my mind already began to wander. The technical aspects never mattered to me, it was more the potential of what could be done with technology like this. I could live on an island for the rest of my life. I could spend my life in a video game! This possibility was-

Tabitha

Forgive me, but I feel it necessary to hijack the narrative here for a moment. As the subheader says, I’m Tabitha, the girl who was talking in the story a second ago. Honestly if you somehow didn’t manage to catch onto that, I can’t imagine this bit of the story entertaining you much. However, if you’re interested in spatial-temporal mechanics, then I can guarantee that you’ll be very happy with this-

Cool Guy

BOOOOOOORING!

 Look, there’s some important stuff, and there’s some unimportant stuff. The important stuff is the stuff I’ll end up being re-told in the near future, and the rest of it can just go on Tabitha’s blog or something. The point is, I daydreamed for like half an hour as Tabitha went into an unnecessarily large amount of detail on stuff that I feel like neither of the other two even remember. To avoid this chapter just being nothing but people talking, I’m going to move the “plot” forward slightly by not including the part where everyone stands around aimlessly as the computer started up, and just stick to what happened after.

 “Okay, so do you know the game Apocalypse VII?” Tabitha asked us, half-rhetorically. Part of my whole aesthetic had come from the fictional greaser gang that was in the series, the Cellar Serpents. They wore leather jackets and had a no-nonsense attitude, so obviously I wanted to be exactly like them. Seth, on the other hand, was more of a hero-martyr type kind of guy, always taking the nice path no matter how boring it got. One of the best things about the Apocalypse series was how varied the choices were. You could work for the enemies who originally hated your guts, or you can kill them all. Or maybe convince everyone to work together so nobody dies. Or, if you felt like it, you could just go off and kill some zombies. I was aware that Amy had played it as well, but her methods of playing games like that where you have free choices was… odd, to say the least. The last time I’d seen her playing, she’d created a brothel of every character you can romance in the game. The weird part was how tender she had been in the creation of it, making sure all the characters were well-fed and watered.

“Of all people, why are you asking about video games? You play farming simulators and tycoons.” Seth remarked, and I had to hide my personal feeling of being attacked. Micromanagement Tycoon was a game I had spent a LOT of time on back in the day.

“Well, it just so happens that this machine, given a game’s world, can recreate it on a much more realistic level.” Tabitha pushed her glasses up the crook of her nose as she said this, as Seth gasped audibly in excitement.

“Ymeanwecngointopoclypsevn?” Seth said without a breath in between words. It took me a moment to process his question as being you mean we can go into Apocalypse VII? Tabitha nodded, and it was if a human firework had been lit next to me. Seth literally exploded.

Seth

No I didn’t!

Cool Guy

Seth metaphorically exploded. All I could do was watch as he bounced around, occasionally glancing over to Amy and Tabitha, who returned my uncomfortable expression.

“Are you done?” I asked as he finally began to slow down. He nodded, but his eyes still shone like an excited dog’s eyes. Tabitha had turned away, tapping away at a keyboard she had magically materialised out of nowhere. I would have marvelled at the technology more, but instead I tried doing it myself. I wasn’t sure which hand gestures caused things to materialise, so I found myself doing nothing but waving my hands around aimlessly as I tried to make something happen. I gestured up, down, and all around, doing a strange dance in a vague attempt at being a super-cool hackerman.

“CG, what the hell are you doing?” Tabitha asked, and I looked up to see that I was once again being watched by everyone.

“I wanted to make a keyboard appear.” I replied simply, before turning back to my efforts. Maybe it was the hand signs? I tried devil horns, holding my hands like there was an invisible guitar, and the shocker, but nothing worked.

“You don’t have admin privileges.” Tabitha said, her head in her hands, and I finally stopped, sidling over to Amy as Tabitha turned back to whatever she was doing.

“So, what are you gonna do first?” I asked, half-whispered. The less Tabitha knew about what we were going to do in there, the better.

“Well, first off, I’m finding Franklin and bringing him everywhere with me. I don’t know how carrying stuff works in this game and the last thing I want is to have to lug guns everywhere.” She replied, reminding me about the half-robotic companion you could get in the game. “Then, I’m gonna go to the Whiteguard and sign up. I’m gonna nuke everything I can.” I hadn’t even considered the possibility of nuking things, but the prospect excited me. I could go full Cellar Serpent, complete with a badass hairdo and shades. Well, I already had the shades, but that only added to the excitement. “You?” She asked, turning to me. I didn’t just wanna seem like I was copying her ideas, so I frantically thought of something to say that would be even MORE awesome, and totally befitting of someone like me.

“I’m going to… try the cuisine of the apocalypse.” I finally said. Balls, that wasn’t a very good excuse. Her eyebrow raised, but I quickly changed the subject. “Won’t the nukes break the simulation, anyway?” I asked, and Amy shook her head.

“Weren’t you listening to Tabitha? This stuff is a LOT deeper than your basic simulation. It’s powered by…” I found my mind wandering again as Amy spoke, this time about what the apocalypse’s food would taste like. Probably regular meat, but irradiated. Wait, don’t bananas have a minor amount of radiation? I wonder if radiation tastes like bananas.

Amy

Dude, you have ADHD.

Cool Guy

Look, I can’t help it if everyone around me is boring. And I still want to know whether bananas taste like radiation, or if radiation tastes like bananas.

 But anyway, Amy went on to most likely repeat what Tabitha had said that I had now conveniently missed twice, and would most likely not hear a third time until I had learnt the hard way exactly why there was such a specific difference. But hey, doing things like this has worked for me in the past. Why wouldn’t it keep working in a trans-dimensional situation?

“Voila!” Tabitha cried suddenly, bringing me out of a rousing thought-train about bananas and radioactive spiders, and I glanced over. Slowly but surely, the horizon, which had been dark with some faintly-glowing stereotypical computer lights, was now brightening. Well, I say brightening, but the image that was beginning to come in was more… earthy and dull than that. The price to pay for your games becoming owned by a triple-A company, but hey, at least I didn’t have to wait too long between instalments, and I’ve played games with worse stories.

“Holy shit, it’s happening.” I said, not able to comprehend much else. I had never played a game in VR before, not even with a flimsy plastic piece of cardboard that strapped my phone to my face in eye-burning closeness. This was next level, and then some. I could smell what the wasteland smelt like. I could hear what it sounded like, feel what the wind rushing through the landscape felt like. I could even taste the earthiness of the land… since the four of us ended up suspended in mid-air, causing us to all fall a few feet downwards. I wasn’t sure whether anyone else had landed flat on their face like I had-

Tabitha

No, we pretty much all landed on our feet.

Cool Guy

-but I quickly recovered, pushing myself back up in one of those aforementioned awesome gestures. Looking over at the other three, I could see that our clothes hadn’t changed at all, but thankfully, were all outfits that we could have probably grabbed somewhere in the game anyway. Hell, you could dress up like a psycho clown and hunt for giant moths, I was pretty sure that some basic pre-nuke clothing wouldn’t turn many heads. One thing that was quickly noticeable, however, is that while the videogame characters could easily walk around in a leather jacket all day, it was insanely hot in the wasteland. I took off my signature jacket, sighing as I could feel my overall coolness rating drop by a few hundred percent, and tied it around my waist, which pretty much dropped my coolness to zero percent. Everyone else, however, seemed to be content to stay in the outfits they had been in, not seeming to care about the weather at all. Even Tabitha, in her lab coat, was barely registering the heat, instead running around the environment with a handheld device, looking excited every time it went ping at something. And ping it went, over and over. Ping ping ping, as she ran around the area we had landed in, scanning rocks and sand and little patches of shrubbery. Eventually she reached us again, and the device went pong. She frowned and shook it next to her ear, and the rattling from inside was audible even over the wind.

“What’s wrong with it?” Seth asked, and she looked up at us.

“It’s more like what’s wrong with us. We’re not nearly as safe as I had hoped we would be.” She replied, taking out another device. For a moment I thought she was going to do another weird technical thing, but all she did was take a stylus out and write a few notes down. Right, not everything had to be super futuristic.

“And that means?” Amy asked, trailing off her words in that way of asking the other person to continue speaking. Tabitha was quiet for a moment, before looking up at me and Seth specifically.

“Try not to die.” She finished, turning away and looking over the horizon. Immediately, Seth and I looked at each other, smiles growing as we quickly knew what we were going to reply with.

“Are you saying that if you die in the game…” I began, and Seth was quick to finish as I saw Tabitha visibly bristle at the beginning of the sentence.

“…you die in real life?” Seth finished, barely able to contain his laughter long enough to finish the sentence. Tabitha turned back to us as if she was going to start yelling at us, but seemed to think better of it as she sighed, turning away again.

“Yes.” Her words dripped with irritation, but the serious nature of what she was saying still reached us. Luckily, I knew I was too cool to die. That, and I’d played this game enough times to know where to stay away from. Before either of us could say anything else, Tabitha spoke up again. “Let’s head that way. I’m picking up large amounts of people converging over there.” She put away the retro-looking device with a long antenna (you know, the kind of one you need to push down before putting it away) that I hadn’t seen her take out, and began to walk. Everyone else started following her, except for me. The sense of smell that this world had hit me with was making me very aware of a specific kind of smell. One of ripe fruit. I grinned, and yelled out to the rest of them as I rushed forward.

“It smells like bananas!”