#hey chat alana is coming back because she realized she acted like a kid too

[lord-of-alana]

hello! regarding my last post about how i wanted to leave the fandom, i think maybe i should hiatus until i have the time to finish the book! running away from my problems is not how i should be solving them. i really want to continue drawing and you guys have sent me such beautiful headcanons ‼️ feel like i don't do them justice because of my lack of knowledge. just give me a week and i hope to be done!

[evdothansen]

The Hansens, Part Two – Jared Kleinman x Reader;

Pairing: Jared Kleinman x Hansen!Reader;

Request: Not requested by anyone, but Part One’s right here. Also I probably should say that this is an AU where Evan never invented all that jazz about Connor;

Word Count: 1769;

TW: mention of suicide, probably swearing;

Your senior year was coming to an end. It was funny to think about how you thought your life had already ended when you moved in with the Hansens, but, now, you felt better than ever before. Heidi and Evan really cared about you, and you did about them too. They weren't perfect, of course not, but they were there, and that was all that mattered for you. Throughout the year, you got to spent a lot more time with Evan, who was just the sweetest, and meet other kids from school; like Alana Beck, the girl in you science lab who was a tidsy annoying but overall a great friend; or Zoe murphy, the girl's whose brother had committed suicide and you had comforted – about that, you knew a lot, even though she seemed to be in a different position. For the last months, she also was Evan's girlfriend (you and Jared took all the credits for that, please and thank you), and they were about the cutest thing to ever happen. 

And, well, there was Jared too. According to what Evan said, he apparently always was an asshole like that, but there was something else about him. Something rather charming in how he acted tough and was always mocking you and Evan but seemed to be with you most of the time. In school, he didn't show any signs of having any other friends, despite always mentioning his camp friends. Outside, for you lived literally 10 minutes away from him, he seemed to spend all of his free afternoons bothering you and Evan – much to Heidi's delight, might you add. You'd never call him out on it, because you didn't think you needed to – it was as if he was lonely to the point that his wicked humour was his only consolation. Like your brother’s. 

No, you didn't need to call Jared out on it. Instead, you were satisfied with only spending time with him.

Well, okay, to be fair, not exactly satisfied. 

"You so should ask Jared about prom," Zoe said, pulling you out of your daydream. You hadn't even seen her sitting by your side, but she was sitting right across the table and opening her lunchbox. You looked around sneakily to see if anyone had heard it. Evan was talking to Alana as they made their way to your table and Jared was nowhere to be seen. You sighed. Thank goodness. Zoe saw your agitation. "I'm serious! I mean, he's totally into you."

"No, Zoe, he's not," you told her as calmly as you could. Zoe was pretty much the best girl friend your had, so it was pointless to deny you had a thing for Jared. Or maybe a little more than a thing. "If he had been, he'd have asked me out by now."

"Y/N, it's fucking Kleinman. He doesn't know how to people," she joked, her beautiful smile shining. "Really, for how long has he been flirting with you? First day of school?"

"Well..."

"And don't lie! It is, i've seen it."

“It's only like a joke, Zoe. He's not interested."

"Joke my ass! And he's always at your place!"

"So are you!"

"I'm dating Evan, sweetie," she told you with a triumphant smile. You rolled your eyes. 

"It's not like that, Zoe," you told her calmly again. 

"How long are you gonna wait until he makes a move?," she asked, and you ignored her. "You're almost graduating, Y/N! God knows where you're going, or where's he's going after that!"

"Zoe, I've told, that's not it!" you lost it. "I’m not waiting for him to make a move, because he obviously isn't going to like ever! Ind it's not because he's stupid, it's because he's not interested!"

"Who's not interested?," a voice you now knew perfectly asked. Shit. You froze as Jared took his usual place by your side. Zoe seemed to be having a hard time on acting normally. Evan and Alana sat by her sides. 

"Just this guy Y/N was hoping would invite her to prom," she said, faking casualty.

"Oh, little Y/N is crushing?," Jared smirked at you, nudging your side. 

"Shut up, asshole," you said, wishing you were dead. 

"Who's prince charming, huh, Hansen?," he insisted, and you could see Evan was now trying not to laugh as well. 

"More like the frog," you told him shortly. 

"Oh, so he is stupid after all," Zoe remarked. You shot her a shut-the-fuck-up look. 

"I mean, of course he is," Jared said, smirking as he opened his lunchbox. "If he isn't interested in hot stuff like you, Hansen, then Murphy might just be right. Can't see how he ain't stupid."

Zoe shot you a look that screamed I-told-you, and you did your best to ignore her and not blush. You didn't know what was happening to you. Jared had always been like that, from day one. It was just a joke, he couldn't be interested in you. 

Why were you having butterflies in your stomach, then?

Thankfully enough, Alana shot off in a speech about how prom committee was way harder than she thought but she'd still manage it. You tried to take part in the conversation, but spent most part of that lunch rather quiet. When the five of you parted ways for the next period, you and Alana walked Zoe to her next class and went to science lab together. Meanwhile, Evan and Jared headed outside – Evan had a free period and Jared was supposed to go to computer lab, but he almost always skipped that class and aced the exams either ways. As soon as you and the girls got out of view, Evan stared at Jared with reprehension. 

"Oh, Hansen, quit glaring!," Jared said, rolling his eyes. "This seriously isn't the best time, jerk."

"Firstly, you're the jerk here."

"The things living with Y/N has done to sweet baby Evan, Jesus."

"Since you so kindly mentioned her," Evan said, looking at Jared, "Why didn't you say anything?"

"Oh, Evan, fuck off."

"I'm serious, Jared! I mean, you've been pining for her all year long!"

"And look where it got me, having to hear Evan Hansen call me out on my romantic life," Jared ironized. 

"At least Evan Hansen got his act together and asked Zoe out," the blond spat. "How much longer are you gonna wait before you make a move? I mean, graduation's right around the corner and –"

"She's not interested, okay?" Jared practically yelled at Evan, interrupting him. "Y/N’s just not interested! You heard her and Zoe at lunch, you should know it! She likes someone, and she's hoping he'll invite her to prom and she thinks he won't but likes him anyway! I don't... I don't stand a chance, Evan."

"Jesus Christ, Jared," Evan said, a little freaked out by his friends’ blurt but trying to sound calm. "Have you ever –"

"And I mean, if Y/N 's after someone and that guy's not interested... He really gotta be stupid, you know?," he interrupted Evan again. He just looked straight off heartbroken now, and Evan regretted his first approach. "'Cause, I mean... you know her. She's wonderful. Look at all she’s done for us. I don't get how anyone could not be in love with her."

Evan subtly put his hand on Jared's shoulder, afraid he'd shrug it off immediately. His friend seemed to be too absorted in his own thoughts to notice the touch, however. Evan swallowed. "Why don't you tell her that?"

"Didn't you hear what I just said, asshole?"

"Jared, are you that stupid? Like, for real?," Evan took a step back and stared at him. Jared didn't react, just kept looking sad. "Jesus Christ. Jared, Y/N likes you. She has like this major crush on you."

“No, she doesn't. Can you please stop?"

"Zoe and her were talking about you!," Evan insisted. "She thinks you’re charming like since day one but you never say anything so she thinks you're not interested!"

"That's such bullshit!," Jared spat. "Anyone with eyes can see I... Can see I'm into her."

"Yeah, well, call her blind then," the blond replied. "Because she likes you, she always has. Why do you think she still calls you over all the time?"

He ran out of arguments. He didn't have anything to say to Evan, but his cousin liking him back... That was impossible. At least, in Jared’s head, it should be. "Leave me alone, Evan."

"Hey. You're the one skipping class to hang out with me," Evan shrugged. "Plus, I'm right. If you still doubt me, go and ask her about it."

After saying that, Evan sat at the bottom of a tree on your school's yard and searched his backpack for his laptop. From the rhythm he was typing, Jared would have been able to tell he was writing a letter to himself about his day, but he wasn't really paying attention to his friend anymore. Jesus, he hated how vulnerable you made him feel. It was probably the only thing he hated about you, but how he did. When it came to Y/N Hansen, his façade just fell apart, every single time. 

After a few moments of just staring at the woods, he made a decision. He picked his phone from his pocket, sighing in anticipated regret. He didn't realize Evan was looking at him with a kind smile, but he was. Jared opened up the chat with you, having to convince himself to write each one of the words he did. 

To Y/N:

Hey, Y/N

To Y/N:

You have a five minute break before the next period, right?

He didn't think you'd reply so fast, for you were in class, but the moment you'd seen it was Jared you'd started typing underneath your desk. 

From Y/N:

Actually, you just got a jackpot

From Y/N:

My counsellor, Mr Washington, couldn't come today, so I have a free period

From Y/N:

Please don't use me as an excuse to skip History though I'm like begging it can wait

He smiled goofily at your text. Little did you know he'd already waited too long. 

To Y/N:

Choir Room, after the bell

To Y/N:

And be there, or else I'll have skipped History for nothing

He shoved his phone back into his pocket nervously after hitting send. Even though he was curious when it beeped, he was way too anxious to actually look at the messages. Evan looked back at his computer, trying to cover up the smile on his lips. Had Jared actually paid attention, he would have failed miserably. 

[queen-shade]

3 A.M. (Jared Kleinman x Reader)

394. “It’s 3am and you’re the only person in McDonald’s right now and why do I have to work the night shift”

A/N: Okay, so this is the first fic I’ve ever posted online so be gentle, please lol. I really have been meaning to write this for a long time, but it took some self-convincing. Anyways, here it is and enjoy! I do take requests about anything to be honest so ask away!

_______________________________________________

You were bored. Scratch that, you were dying from boredom. Why did you have to work the night shift, rather why was there even a night shift? It’s currently past midnight and the only customers you’ve had since midnight are junkies without money. You were resting your head on your hand and leaning over the counter. You sighed heavily and stared at the clock, watching the minutes pass by. You wanted nothing more than to wash the grease off of you and to lay down in your bed watching your favorite show on Netflix. 

Just then, the bell hanging above the door chimed. A customer at this ungodly hour of the night? You instantly recognized who the customer was. He was wearing a flannel with a striped T-shirt underneath. He wore big glasses and had brown hair and plastered on his face was his big shit-eating grin. The insanely annoying Jared Kleinman. But he was also your friend, so maybe he can tell you some of his stupid jokes to cheer you up. 

“Why are you here? Seriously, it’s 3 am.” 

“Is that how you talk to paying customers? Honestly, I’d like to speak to your manager.” 

“Go ahead, she’s probably in bed asleep considering she left 3 hours ago. What do you want, Kleinman?” 

“I just wanted to visit my best friend slaving away her youth in a shitty fast food chain restaurant. Are you seriously the only one working?”

“Afraid so. There’s no point in me being here.” 

“You’re right. Let’s ditch it and go to my house.” 

“Isn’t that a little suspicious? You know, a girl actually wanting to be at your house at 3 am?” 

“Fuck off. I’m trying to save you from this hellhole, but if you’re going to act like that-” 

“Look, it’s not that I don’t want to, but I can’t just leave.” Jared looked around the restaurant. Literally he searched every corner of the dining area and came back. 

“That’s funny, I don’t see anyone else here. No manager to force you to stay. C’mon, live a little (Y/N).” 

“I appreciate the sentiment, Jared, but seriously, I can’t go. Maybe another night.” 

“Alright, I guess I'll tell everyone to come in, then.” 

“Everyone?” Jared smirked and dialed a number on his phone. 

“Yeah, man, she said she can’t leave. Alright, come on in.” 

He shut his phone off and you stared at him in confusion. Just then, you heard a couple car doors slam shut. The bell chimed again and in walked Connor, Zoe, Evan, and Alana. 

“Guys, what the hell are you doing here?” 

Zoe answered you, “Since you couldn’t leave work, we decided to come here to try and convince you to hang out.” 

“But you guys can’t stay unless you buy something.” 

Everyone “checked” their pockets for money, meaning that they didn’t actually look for the sake of getting you to leave your job. Connor spoke, 

“Aww man, we don’t have any. Guess you’ll have escort us out and then ditch this place.” 

“Alana, you’re going along with this?” 

“I know, it seems so out of character, but Fridays aren’t fun without you, (Y/N).”

You wiped your hand on your face and looked at your friends’ pleading faces.

“Okay, okay, fine. I’ll leave. But if I get fired, it’s on you.” 

Jared clapped your back, “Aaand we can help you find a new one. One that doesn’t make you work a night shift at 3 am on Friday nights.” 

You locked up the restaurant. You had changed clothes before leaving and even put on some deodorant because no one likes lingering McDonald’s smell. Everyone else had already piled in Jared’s car. Jared hung back with you. You turned to him, 

“So, you’ve dragged me out of work to hang out? We could've done this another night, you realize.” 

“Now what kind of friend would I be if I let my best friend in the whole world out to dry working?” 

“A normal one..?” 

“Good thing I’m not normal. Unless you’d rather be in there with all the grease fuming up into your hair-” 

“No! I-I’m happy that you came and got me.” 

“That’s what I thought. I mean who can resist the insanely cool Jared Kleinman?” 

 You two began walking to his car as you said, “Oh, definitely not me, Jared. My life would be too boring without you.” 

You were joking when you said that, but you knew deep down that it was true. If it wasn’t for Jared, you’d still be at work, bored out of your mind. Jared always came to the rescue, whether it was getting you to ditch work or to even chase off creepy guys who were flirting with you. You couldn’t imagine your life without him. 

You got in the passenger seat while Jared got in the driver’s seat. He smiled at you as he turned on the radio. He plugged in his phone and began playing Cupcakke’s Deepthroat. You and the rest of the gang started shouting the lyrics, except for Evan and Alana who were terrified at the horrid lyrics. 

Jared pulled into the parking lot of a park. Everyone got out and ran around like kids. You laughed at Connor and Evan who were recreating the Jack and Rose scene from Titanic at the top of the slide. The night was filled with many pictures and snapchat videos of you all just goofing off and having the time of your lives. You saw a tree at the back end of the park that seemed sturdy enough to climb, so you raced towards it. You reached up to the lowest branch and hoisted yourself up. You grabbed onto the next branch and sat upon it. You leaned back against the trunk and watched your friends run around.

“Hey, you better be careful up there. You don’t wanna end up falling out of it like Tree Boy over there.” 

“I’ll be fine, Jared, I used to do this all the time when I was younger.” 

Jared hoisted himself onto the branch that was next to yours. He faced the trunk of the tree and leaned against the other branches. You smiled and averted your gaze, blushing. Thank God it was dark out. 

“Hey, thanks for bailing me out.”  

“What are awesome friends for, amirite?” 

“Man, I really don’t know what I’d do without you.” 

“In all honesty, you’d probably be better off. I mean, you could lose your job by being here.” 

“So what? If it wasn’t for you, I’d still be there and not here… with you.” 

“(Y/N) (L/N) if I didn’t know any better, I’d say you were flirting with me.” 

He smirked as you sighed. Then you grinned as you said, 

“And what if I am?” 

It was his turn to blush. For once, Jared was speechless. He just laughed awkwardly as you chuckled. 

“Okay, okay, calm down there. I know I’m irresistible, but no one can tie down this loser.” 

“Pfft. Whatever, Kleinman. You’d jump at the chance to get with me and you know it.” Jared just smiled and avoided your gaze. 

“What’s wrong?”

“Nothing. Hey, I’ll race you to the slides!”

“Oh, you are so going down!” 

You and Jared jumped from the tree and took off running for the slides. You had taken a shortcut under the jungle gym and climbed up to the top. You jumped over the side of the bars. You stopped him in his tracks. 

“I win!” 

“Damn, you got lucky.” 

“I sure did.” 

You smiled as you kissed his cheek and immediately went down the slide. He stood there in utter shock and then chased after you. After an hour, Jared drove everyone to his house and passed out in his living room. You and Jared had somehow ended up in a cuddling position throughout the night. Your face was in his chest and his arm was draped over your waist pulling you in closer. 

You woke up to the smell of him and grinned. You hesitantly sat up and looked at your surroundings. There were your best friends in the whole world passed out on the floor in the living room of the guy you had been crushing on since 6th grade. You reached around for your phone and picked it up. You looked at the pictures from the night before and reminisced about the fun times that happened only hours ago. You saw the picture of you on his back with him holding your legs and your arms wrapped around his neck. You were both smiling and laughing. You cheesed at the photo. 

“That might actually be the gayest photo of me.” 

Jared was up. You, jokingly, pushed him away. Pretty soon everyone woke up and it was time for everyone to leave. They all, once again, climbed in Jared’s car as he dropped them off one by one. You were the last one to get dropped off. Jared walked you to your front door.

“Thanks for everything. Seriously, that was the most fun I’ve had in awhile.” 

“Glad I could help. Seriously, if you ever need me to bail you out again, I’m one text away.” 

You smiled as you turned to go into your house. Jared’s hand on your wrist caught you by surprise. 

“Jared, what th-” 

He cupped your face and crashed his lips onto yours. You, mindlessly, grabbed onto his flannel as you kissed back. He pulled away as he rested his forehead against yours. You both smiled as he pecked your lips. 

“Sorry, I’ve wanted to do that for a long time.”

“You can do that whenever you like, I won’t complain.”

You both laughed as he started back to his car.

“I gotta run, but I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“We’re hanging out tomorrow?”

“Well, I just now decided that we are going to a movie tomorrow. I’ll pick you up at 7.”

“Well, aren’t you assertive.”

“You love it.” 

“You’re damn right I do.” 

He chuckled and kissed your hand before leaving. You walked into your house and sat down on the couch. Your mom came in and scolded you about getting fired because you went to hang out with your friends. Apparently, the security cameras were on. 

After your mom was done, you sent a text to the group chat with everyone in it. 

To: Tree Squad🌲 

Guys, I just got fired!!! 

Alana👩🏾‍🏫: 

Oops! Sorry! 

Connor🖤: 

Well, you didn’t need that job anyways!

Zoe🎸: 

:/// 

Evan🌿💙: 

Oh my god! I’m so sorry! We didn’t mean to! 

(Y/N):

Haha, relax, Hansen. I can just find another one. 

MemeBoy™: 

McDonald’s fucking sucks anyways. Have you guys seen this meme? 

Connor🖤: 

Jared what the fuck 

Alana👩🏾‍🏫: 

That’s disgusting

Evan🌿💙: 

Honestly that’s just in poor taste Jared 

Zoe🎸: 

I’m really starting to think that that can’t even be considered a meme 

(Y/N): 

Hahaha 

MemeBoy™: 

See? I’m funny! (Y/N) is the only one that gets me! 

Connor🖤: 

Ugggghhh 

(In a separate text) 

MemeBoy™: 

Hey, sorry about your job. I’ll definitely make it up to you. 

(Y/N): 

You already did 

MemeBoy™: 

Well there’s more where that came from.

 ——————— 

Just then he sent a picture of your face in his chest from this morning. You smiled. 

———————

MemeBoy™: 

You should definitely take more naps at my house. It’s like hella cute and all that gay shit 

(Y/N): 

 Thank you once again insanely annoying Jared Kleinman :p

[roadkillfuneral]

if connor never found the letter

No Letter AU a.k.a. connor and Evan were set up to be a perfect gay love story

-The story is the same up until the moment after Connor signs Evan’s cast. He doesn’t find the letter and leaves the computer room, already forgetting the nervous boy he just encountered

-Evan goes home and his mom sees Connor’s name on his cast bigger than life itself and invites him over for dinner. Connor never has a chance to even think about his previous plans that night

-As soon as Heidi leaves them alone they begin bonding over overbearing mothers and, soon after, shared disdain towards their fathers, and they’re attached to each other before they even realize

-Sometimes due to Evan’s mother, but more on their own, the two start to hang out. They goof around, talk about books they like and Connor shows Evan loud music and Evan shows Connor… support.

-At some point Evan notices the marks on Connor’s arms and asks about them, completely innocently. Connor lashes out of course, defensive as all get out because it’s not Evan’s business, it’s not anyone’s business, he doesn’t have to talk about it with anyone, it doesn’t matter he’s fine

-And Evan drops it because he’s confused but also because he wants to respect Connor’s wishes

-Connor sees that and not too much time later, he finds himself confiding in Evan, telling him about them, what he’s done, how long he’d been clean, but it doesn’t really matter, he’s fine. And Evan, touched, tells how he’d broke his arm. The real story.

-And then there’s a moment where they both have never felt less alone.

it doesnt end there though

-the friendship progresses pretty much perfectly. Connor’s parents love polite little Evan, and Heidi, at first, is just glad that Evan has a friend, but then she sees some of her lost teenage self in Connor and finds that Connor is actually a funny kid???

-Heidi and Connor totally playfully gang up on Evan “sh hon the grownups are talking” they sip their tea in unison  omg give me heidi and connor cute friendship

-By now Evan is coming to Connor’s house whenever Connor isn’t at his and his crush on Zoe is ever persistent. And one day he makes a fool of himself, trips or chokes and eventually Connor is just like dude. what’s going on.

-so Evan comes clean, all blushy and dumb and gushing, but apologizing all the while because she’s your sister I’m sorry but gosh have you seen her smile? sorry but wow

-then Connor feels it. the tug in his chest and the burning of emotions he thinks are gone, thinks he couldn’t possibly feel anymore

-Connor has always known. He was lucky to grow up in this generation where he sees men holding hands on the sidewalks and it’s been a couple years since gay marriage was legalized. He knows this and he’s long since accepted it, though he’s never been with anyone cos everyone fucking sucks have you met people? they’re gross

-But Evan. He’s sweet and understands Connor and when he laughs- not that awkward laugh, but a real laugh that’s hard and deep- Connor’s heart stammers.

-he feels it even before that moment but he only begins to really comprehend his feelings when he’s jealous

-He manages to ignore it until one day when he asks Evan if he wants to smoke weed with him

-Evan trusts Connor fully and he’s curious and Connor always seems so laid back when he does it

-So he agrees, even if he’s a little skeptical 

-He’s an anxious mess at first and coughs his lungs up and Connor has to light the pipe for him because Evan’s hands are shaking so bad and Connor was just planning on giving him a few hits, making him chill, but Evan takes a few too many drags and he is stoned

-At first Evan is just giggling and rambling and fluttering his hands and he seems fine and Connor thinks its fine so he smokes a little more, feels a little lighter, a little more high

-To this day he doesn’t know who started it. All he remembers is touching Evan’s hands and Evan touching his hair and counting Evan’s eyelashes and then they were kissing 

-Connor has kissed a couple people before, usually pecks and things like that, and he assumed Evan has never kissed anyone before but it feels perfect, it feels like finally

-They’re pretty much making out by the time Evan pulls away, his eyes wide and scared and no longer high. Connor wants to kiss him again but he looks so scared. It’s a silent moment before Evan runs out silently  

-Evan knows he’s not gay. Connor knows he is. Connor knows what he wants. Evan does not. 

-he knows that he’s been admiring Connor, sure. He likes how tall he is and his black nail polish and how when he’s angry (even though he’s almost always angry) his eyebrows pucker but his bad moods make him look likes hes glowing when he smiles or laughs and…. that doesn’t make him gay, does it?

-So naturally he goes to his mother. 

-And he’s like so. asking for a friend. what should you do if your friend of the same sex kisses you (even though he thinks he might have initiated it) and you kinda like it and might wanna do it more

-Heidi freaks out she’s all oh you and connor would be so cute oh what a sweet boy your cousin lindy can flower girl at the wedding 

-Connor is all mom no for a friend

-Heidi smiles and agrees to play along, tells Evan, all wise and mom-like, that if he really likes Connor then he needs to tell him and see how Connor feels and talk out where they should go from there. 

-Evan is scared to death. He likes Connor so much (in what way he doesnt know) and he’s pretty much his only friend and he’s so scared of ruining this but he goes anyways 

-There’s a lot of stuttering and flushing on Evan’s part and mumbling and avoiding gazes on Connor’s part but they both admit to the feelings they have that are definitely not Straight and by the time theyre done they’re kissing again, simultaneously relishing in the fact that it feels much better sober and knowing where they stand 

bonus content

-connor’s long noodle ass limbs getting in the way of everything. when they cuddle its a jumble of connor’s ligaments and evan in a ball watching as his beanpole of a boyfriend tries to adjust 

-oh and cuddling? these two are a fucking mess

-it starts off the most awkward thing ever as i said connor can’t adjust himself and evan doesnt know where to put his hands but they are both very touch starved but they dont give up they keep trying and eventually connor knows just how to curl himself around evan so he can kiss his forehead and whisper in his ear and evan still can touch connor’s hair and snuggle his face into his tiddies chest 

-connor denies that he likes it even a little bit even though he’s the one that initiated it, the nerd

-possessive connor. bruh. 

-once he gets evan he refuses to let him go. if he sees alana even look at evan for too long he feels the need to take that moment to grab his hand (if he isn’t already holding it) or to kiss him or grab his ass whatever connor is possessive but pretty harmlessly. he knows evan likes him and only him but still. 

-evan can also get jealous at times, though his is much more lowkey. if someone flirts with connor he wont speak up, but he’ll feel the need to tell connor how much he likes him and cherishes him. connor understands. 

-weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeed

-stop that ‘evan makes connor stop smoking’ bullshit. im here for evan becoming a borderline stoner because it helps with the anxiety. he might evan smoke more than connor. maybe he likes edibles more but im totally here for connor and evan shotgunning because homies share hits

-speaking of evan’s anxiety

-connor is annoyed with it at first tbh. evan’s nervousness and awkwardness grates on him but then he’s okay with it and then he finds it cute and then he loves him for it

-who says i love you first? ohoho boy

-i have way too many headcanons for this but my favorite is that they’re hanging out, probably smoking, def telling jokes and swapping little kisses and they’re laughing and evan just kinda says it

-connor’s mother doesn’t even tell him she loves him that much anymore. she kinda gave up when he started taking out his anger on everyone including her and when evan says it, connor stutters it back, but he says it, and dives down to kiss evan again but honestly no kiss could convey how happy he feels. evan says it many more times that night. 

-zoe doesn’t get it tbh

-first this anxious weirdo comes into her house and is looking at her weirdly and then he’s looking at her brother and her brother is looking back and she hears laughing coming from connor’s room it’s weird but hey at least he isn’t acting crazy anymore

-then one night she hears a car come up the driveway at like 11 at night and she goes to her window to see who in fresh hell it is, forgetting that connor has gone to evan’s for the afternoon

-she sees the two get out of the car and go to the door. they chat a little bit and connor is smiling and their faces are weirdly close and they stop and evan leans up on his toes and oh my god they’re making out on the porch

-she never mentions it but there’s at least a week or more where she can’t look at connor 

-if im being honest i see evan being ace but if he weren’t/still copulates with connor, im here for power bottom connor

-someone that wasn’t me mentioned evan still letting cynthia pay for his college but only if she gets connor therapy and i love it and i love evan getting connor to therapy and i love him getting therapy gwahh

i havent got anything else but um this au kills me daily hope u like it adios

[jaredkleinmanisanerd]

Omgggg, please do more of baby Alana and Evan xxxxx that fic healed my sound and cleared my skin with it purity 👌👌👌👌

I’m glad you liked it! and here’s some more, because I’m obsessed with this now

Alana hitches her backpack higher on her shoulder, loiteringoutside the doors to the cafeteria.

She can hear the bellows of the basketball team,congratulating themselves on a win by a wide margin against one of theparochial schools that barely has enough players to constitute a team, and thesoft tittering of the girls on the dance team, probably a result of aparticularly nasty comment from their captain about some poor girl’s weight orbraces. Under that, she can hear the general populace of the school chattingabout classes, laughing at each other’s jokes, enjoying the break from themonotony of classes when they can hang out with friends. And that’s with thedoor closed. Once she opens that door, the roar of middle schoolers will bedeafening and she’ll barely be able to hear herself think.

Alana used to sit in the cafeteria. She’d sit with some ofthe nice girls from her honors classes and discuss the merits of whatever YAnovel series they were currently invested in, but, at some point, unbeknownstto her, the girls decided that Alana no longer fit in their group. She tried totalk to them for a while after that—she’d catch them in between classes, ask ifthey wanted to hang out at lunch or recess or maybe walk to the library afterschool together, but they’d always provide some subpar excuse that made itclear that they were avoiding her. Eventually, Alana just stopped botheringthem, telling herself that she didn’t need people like that—fair weather friends,that’s what they were, and she could find better than them. Find people wholiked her, who she didn’t have to put up an act around. People who didn’t careif she thought Twilight was dumb,people who wouldn’t look at her weird when they found out she went to therapy,people who would actually show up to her volleyball games and cheer her oninstead of just promising to come and never actually following through.

But, Alana didn’t find those people. Maybe those people werenever real, maybe there’s really no one out there who will like Alana for whoshe is. The thought makes her want to turn around and march back to safety, tothe library where no one will bother her and where she can almost convinceherself that people just aren’t talking to her because it’s a library andlibraries aren’t exactly conducive to discussion. Not because she’s lame.

Instead of turning tail and running away, Alana takes a deepbreath and pulls open the door to the cafeteria, taking a few steps in andlooking around, letting out a little sigh of relief when she sees a smallfigure hunched over at the end of one of the tables, staring intently at hisbook in a way that makes Alana think he might not actually be reading it but isjust trying very hard to seem like he is.

She walks over to where he’s sitting, stepping out of theway of a rowdy boy who’s flailing around like a fish out of water as he tellssome story.

Alana really doesn’t like the cafeteria.

Evan doesn’t notice her when she gets to his table or whenshe slides into the seat across from him or when she takes off her backpack andplaces her lunch box on the table. He’s still looking hard at his book,frowning like something in the pages has offended him. His shoulders are drawninward, making him seem even smaller than he already is, and Alana can see thathe’s rolled up the sleeves of his sweatshirt, revealing his pale forearms.Alana hasn’t seen Evan without a sweatshirt in years—he started wearing themreligiously in fifth grade and he’s never taken them off at school that she’sseen. Evan even wears one during physical education. Alana can understand why;she’d taken to wearing sweaters for a while, feeling more than a littleself-conscious about her body as she meandered her way through puberty, but hermother sat her down and told her that she had nothing to be self-consciousabout and that wearing these sweaters to cover herself up would just add tothose negative feelings. Alana’s mom is the smartest person she knows, so shefigured that she should heed her mom’s advice, and she’s gotten along wellenough without wearing sweaters to ease her self-consciousness. Alana wondersif Evan’s mom has ever sat him down and told him that he doesn’t need thesweatshirts, that he’s fine the way he is.

Well, that’s a question for another day.

Alana reaches across the table and taps Evan’s hand gently.Finally, he looks up at her, head jerking up like she just zapped him. When heregisters that it’s just Alana, his expression changes from shock—and maybe alittle fear, too—to something pleasant Alana can’t quite put her finger on. Shewouldn’t say he looks happy, exactly, but he looks calm. He seems much lesslike he’s about to bolt than he did a few seconds ago, and Alana figures she can’texpect him to look overjoyed at her presence just yet. I mean, they only becamefriends a few hours ago, after all.

“H-hey, Alana.”

“Hi, Evan! Do you mind if I sit here?” Alana has to raiseher voice to be heard over the raucous noise of the cafeteria and she can seeEvan flinch a little.

“No, um, that’s—that’s fine.”

“Great!” Alana smiles broadly at Evan and there’s that shysmile from earlier, when she let him borrow her pen, spreading across his face.It’s close-lipped and small, but it’s more than she usually sees from Evan. “Whatare you reading?”

“Oh, n-nothing really, just this—it’s weird, you don’t—you don’twant to hear about it.” Evan’s looking back down at his book, embarrassed, andAlana thinks the tips of his ears are turning red.

“Well, I think I’d like to hear about it, and, considering I’mmyself, I’m pretty sure I know my interests better than you do, Evan.”

“Well, I didn’t mean to—I didn’t mean it like—I’m sorry, um,it’s about, uh, trucks and tractors? Like kind of an encyclopedia about them?”His voice goes up at the end of his sentences, turning what should bestatements into questions. He looks flustered, but there’s something hopeful inhis gaze and Alana recognizes that hope. Hope that maybe you’ve found someonewho finally gets you, someone who shares your interests, someone who could beyour friend.

So, tonight, Alana’s going to read up as much as she can ontrucks and tractors. For now, Alana merely asks general questions: does Evanlike trucks or tractors better, does he have a favorite type of truck, is ittrucks in general that he likes or specifically certain types of trucks likefire trucks? And Evan looks so excited—he’s even gesturing around for someanswers instead of just picking at his nails or tugging at his sweatshirtsleeves like he usually does. He talks more than Alana has ever heard him talkin their past eight years of going to school together, and Alana finds herselfgetting interested in the topic. Evan’s enthusiasm about trucks—something shewouldn’t necessarily consider boring, but that she would never seek outinformation on for fun—is contagious and, by the end of lunch period, he’sbasically convinced her that trucks are the most interesting mode oftransportation, even more so than airplanes.

The bell rings, halting Evan’s incensed declaration thattransporting cargo on trucks is much better than using airplanes and making himblink dazedly, like he hadn’t realized that time was still passing while hetalked about trucks to Alana.

“Oh, gosh, I’m—I’m so sorry, I wasted your entire lunchperiod,” Evan looks actually concerned, as if he thinks Alana has much betterthings to do than listen to Evan Hansen go off on a rant about trucks.

“I wouldn’t call this a waste at all. It was very interesting,”Alana smiles at him and, summoning up all the courage she has, continues “weshould do this again some time. We could sit together again tomorrow?” Shehates how uncertain the question comes out, but she doesn’t think she canreally handle a blatant rejection to hanging out from the only person in theirgrade who has more trouble making friends than her, and even though she thinksEvan likes her, he might not want to be friends with a girl, or something. She’sheard some of the other kids teasing boys for only having female friends, andEvan gets teased enough as is, so she’d understand if he didn’t accept heroffer.

“Y-yeah, that would be—I’d be really—that sounds great! Or,uh, cool, that would—that would be cool.” Evan’s obviously trying to tone downhis excitement, but it’s not working particularly well and it makes Alana wantto laugh a little, but she figures it’s a bit too soon in their friendship forher to laugh at him randomly. He might get the wrong idea and think she’smaking fun of him.

“Awesome! I’ve got to get to class, but I’ll see you later,Evan!”

“Yeah, uh, see you later, Alana.”

Alana dumps her trash from lunch in one of the cans by thedoor, exiting the cafeteria quickly and walking fast to her next class. Shedoesn’t want to make a fool of herself, but. But she has a friend.

Alana has a friend.

Alana has an actual friend!

A friend who she’s going to sit with at lunch tomorrow and,if she has her way, every day for the foreseeable future.

Alana can’t manage to wipe the smile off her face for therest of the day.