#hey after you died your favorite kid went crazy and evil and now his name is a curse word

[lendmyboyfriendahand]

Finwe in the third age part iii

Finwe could tell when information was being kept from him.

To be fair to Elrond, the lord of the valley was not trying very hard to hide that there were secrets. Glorfindel had given history up to the rising of the Sun with only a few obvious elisions - Glorfindel had apparently walked to Middle Earth, but Feanor had gotten there years earlier with his sons. Feanor and Argon had "died fighting Morgoth's servants", while Elenwe and Amrod had died in "accidents". The capture and rescue of Finwe's eldest grandson was covered in two sentences as if Glorfindel hoped that Finwe would miss it. (Though how could he - capture by the Dark Hunter had been the greatest fear of his youth, and one that he had thought his kin safe from in Valinor!) The summary had lacked some details, but it had seemed like a reasonable first pass at history.

Glorfindel casually saying "Gondolin was isolated and I died when it fell, so I didn't witness much of the first or second ages. I was sent to aid Rivendell and the elves around two thousand years of the sun ago..." though was incredibly blatant. "Not much" was far from "none", and the fall of a city seemed newsworthy as well.

Finwe asked outright how Gondolin had fallen, and Glorfindel had said "it's a distressing topic let's wait until you've recovered". Glorfindel said that a lot, and after an hour left the room for his guard duties. Finwe was sadly too weak to follow him and demand answers.

He would just have to listen, and bide his time while he recovered. Whatever terrible thing had happened to his family, a few more days would not make much difference after the decades or centuries that had passed. (Finwe was not sure he believed that it had been Ages, but such a great undertaking as the Sun was not the work of a year even for the Valar, and Elladan was undoubtedly both his descendant and a fully grown adult. So it was at least fifty years since Finwe had been in Formenos, given none of his children or grandchildren has been expecting a child when Morgoth attacked.)

_____

Over the next week, Finwe learned more. What Feanor had done at Alqualonde was a tragedy, and it sorrowed him that such a great city was known now only for the pain and evil that had been done there. He shared stories of the city as it had been with his great-great-grandsons when they came to visit, and they listened eagerly even though Artanis-called-Galadriel could have told them just as much. Elrohir was unguarded enough in his speech for Finwe to learn a little bit more about the years immediately after his death, though the topic was quickly redirected to the present.

Finwe asked for more people to talk to and to fill his days, but was told that few in the city spoke Quenya, and none spoke Gnomish as he had in his youth. Instead most spoke Sindarin, which Finwe was not enough of a student of languages to follow along with in conversation. Elrond provided him with a Sindarin language history of the so-called Last Alliance to practice reading (written in Feanor's tengwar rather than Rumil's script, he noted), along with a dictionary obviously designed for those fluent in Sindarin reading older texts. That the word "kinslaying" and "unbreakable vow" were each given a paragraph of cultural context was concerning, but it was still a useful exercise. (While figuring out that his old friend Elwe had taken the title Grey-cloak, Finwe skimmed past the word "Therinde" and noticed his own name. He deliberately did not read that entry, as he was gaining plenty of reasons for new pain without reopening old wounds.)

The War of Last Alliance was not easy reading, but it was very informative, and not just about the years described. Finwe learned that even two Ages after his death, he was still seen as the standard for royalty and the authority by which later Noldorin kings derived their title. Elrond was Turgon's great-grandson, but had been taught by Maedhros, who was seen as both a villain and a powerful warrior opposed to Morgoth. (Finwe paused for a moment to boggle at his descendants have children with each other. It was not particularly strange after a few generations, but he did not feel nearly as old as Tatye or Imin!) The Secondborn and Aule's children had been found, and things had not always been easy but they became allies in time. Geography had changed some in these lands since Finwe's youth, both in ways as small as the course of streams and in new mountain ranges to the south.

Oh, and there was Sauron. Morgoth's second in command who had taken on his master's mantle and much of his army. The Valar had apparently not learned from letting Morgoth walk freely in Tirion, as Sauron had the run of a whole continent for many years. And even at the conclusion of the battle, Sauron was only beaten back, due to the difficulty of truly unmaking Maiar by incarnates.

Finwe asked Glorfindel if Sauron was still around, and got the unreassuring answer of "probably yes, but he's still building power and we aren't certain where."

Difficult was not impossible, though. And though Finwe could not get vengeance against Morgoth personally, it was clear that Sauron had done much harm to his family. If Sauron dared show his face again, Finwe would be ready.

[gardenerian]

Bed time story?👉👈

And here's one for you!

The kingdom of ummm glitter was a bright and happy place. King Ian made everyone feel welcomed and have a fun time. One day sir mickey showed up and caused some chaos throughout the kingdom! He was stealing from babies, taking money, rocking havoc on the citizens lives. King Ian didn't like dis tho so he marched right up to sir mickey and said SIR YOU ARE BREAKING THE LAWS YOU MUST PAY FOR YOUR CRIMES OR GIVE ME SOMTHING IN RETURN. Sir mickey smirked at King Ian and kissed him. There's my gift for you King Ian. And then sir mickey go on his horse and fled. King Ian was shocked. He stood there with 😲😳 this face. "Will I see the handsome criminal again?" Hrle thought

Who knows maybe he will in tomorrow's story dun dun dunnnnn

HE WAS STEALING FROM BABIES?! WHAT WAS HE STEALING FROM BABIES? *SMOOTH CRIMINAL PLAYS FAINTLY IN THE BACKGROUND* ok, inspired by this:

"Mickey."

"Yeah?"

"Are you still cranky?"

"I'm not fucking cranky, Ian. I'm tired. Your daughter cried till like 4 am and since someone slept through it, it was down to me to end the tantrum."

"Oh she's my daughter when she's keeping you up, huh?"

"She whines just like you."

"We just like getting under your skin."

"Well quit it, both of you."

"No can do, I'm afraid. It's too much fun for me, and she's a baby."

"Technicalities."

"Hey - you should take a nap while she's down."

"I don't think I can, man, I'm too - "

"Cranky?"

"Wired. Like so tired that it's making me crazy."

"Hmm. Here, lie down. No - on your stomach. Will this help you relax?"

"Oh, fuck yeah. Rub up by my neck?"

"There?"

"Mmmmm."

"Okay. Story?"

"Make it a good one."

"They're all good, Mick. Alright, so. Once upon a time, there was a knight named Sir Mickey."

"This is a Sir Mickey story? Why don't you pick up where we left the last one? With the flood of beer?"

"Because this one is my story. Totally different Sir Mickey. This Sir Mickey.... is evil."

"What the fuck? Why am I evil?"

"You're not evil, he's evil. Because... he didn't get any sleep and it made him very, very cranky."

"Did he also he have a husband that slept through their kid's teething tantrums?"

"Yes, actually. He had a beautiful, beefcake husband - the king, actually - who took some nyquil one night for a stuffy nose and he slept through their daughter crying. And it made Sir Mickey evil."

"I wasn't that bad today."

"You literally threw my lunch on the ground today. Slapped my sandwich right of out my hands."

"You didn't deserve it. And I bought you another one right after!"

"Yes, you did. Thank you. Anyways, evil Sir Mickey was so cranky, he went around the kingdom and stole all the sandwiches from all the redheads in the land."

"Good. They deserve it."

"Sir Mickey's king-slash-husband came to him and said, 'Sir Mickey, I am very sorry for sleeping through all the crying last night. I'll stay up tonight and make it up to you.' And Sir Mickey said...?"

"This is so fucking stupi - ow! - fine, he said, 'I'm sorry for stealing all the sandwiches. And I'm sorry for taking out all my crankiness on you.' ...or all the redheads, whatever, I already forgot how the story went."

"The king was so happy that they put their icky day behind him, he ordered Sir Mickey his favorite dinner and gave him a million kisses."

"A million? Hmm. That's a lot. Better start right now."

✨💕🥪💕✨

i could not make him steal from babies i just could not do it

[makeste]

BnHA Chapter 275: YAAAAY but Also AHHHHH

Previously on BnHA: Endeavor was all “I’M FIGHTING TOMURA AND YOU CAN’T STOP ME” and set everything on fire. Unlike SOME people, however, it turns out fire is NOT Tomura’s weakness, so he basically just shrugged it off. But before things could progress any further, AFO was all “psst, go get One for All” and Tomura was all “? One for All?” and Endeavor was all “?? One for All?” and Deku and Kacchan, who were listening in on their earpieces, were all “!!!” Having thus realized that Tomura was targeting him, Deku sped off to lead him somewhere away from the civilians... accompanied by his good friend Bakugou “274 chapters of character development have all been leading up to this” Katsuki. Because like hell are you going to have an EPIC BATTLE with the FINAL VILLAIN without him, you damn nerd. Who’s he going to heroically sacrifice himself for if you’re not there?? Hahh!?

Today on BnHA: Deku and Kacchan fly off to battle Tomura after confusing Endeavor into giving them his location (which wasn’t very hard lmao). En route, Deku finally thinks to ask Kacchan why he’s tagging along, and Kacchan is all “DON’T GET ME WRONG, IT’S JUST BECAUSE I WANT REVENGE ON TOMURA, AND DEFINITELY NOT BECAUSE I CARE ABOUT YOU AT ALL, HOW DARE YOU, WHY WOULD YOU EVEN SAY THAT”, which is super convincing and didn’t make me roll my eyes at all. Anyways so then Tomura shows up and is all “EYO TIME TO KILL YOU NOW” and Deku and Kacchan are all “OH SFFKDFK”, but fortunately Gran shows up to save them in the nick of time, because BnHA is literally the only shounen manga in which grown-ups will see kids trying to lead a battle and be like “lol wtf” and actually try to stop that shit instead of being all “what are your orders, children.” The chapter then ends with the heroes doing EXACTLY WHAT THEY SHOULD BE DOING??Namely, having the guy who can TURN OFF QUIRKS battle the guy with the ultimate death quirk! I’m so proud. But also I swear to god, if Tomura so much as breathes suspiciously in his direction...!! What the fuck. HORIKOSHI.

y’all what in the fresh hell is this bs

not yet there isn’t son but if you keep trolling like this I can give your nervous system something to actually be nervous about

anyway. this was his comment from last week’s issue of Jump, and I have absolutely no idea what it’s referring to, is the fun part! did he cry because of something he was working on in a chapter that’s coming up? or is he just tired from a combination of stressful mangaka schedule + 2020 in general?? or hell, for all I know he just recently watched Titanic or some shit

(ETA: KILLING AIZAWA SHOUTA WOULDN’T MAKE SOMEONE CRY OUT OF JOY, THOUGH. RIGHT?!)

anyways I guess it’s time to read and see if I feel like sadly happily crying for two hours afterward

-- oh shit I just realized there are two scanlations out for this?? one from readjump.com, and one from readheroacademia.com. lol now what. uhhh

lulzes. I guess I’ll go with RHA for now and keep checking back to RJ after each page and I’ll go with whichever translation I liked better

LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, OUR MILLENNIAL VILLAIN

or would he actually be gen z. he was already in his twenties when this manga started like six years ago, so I’m going with millennial. but on the cusp though I guess. anyway, he plays video games though is the point

and I see he’s already decided to contradict me and my inane speculations not two panels in! I GUESS I AM JUST A FOOL. that’s really interesting though. I wonder if it’s just Monoma’s quirk that doesn’t take the accumulated “save data” from the people he copies from, then? guh. how many of my AFO/OFA theory notes do I have to scrap now

and there’s a little quirk blurb about Search, which is fairly useless given that we already know how it works (actually in even greater detail than shown here), but at least it comes with a cute little picture of Ragdoll in her hero costume, to make us all sad and stuff

so anyways Tomura who are you looking at?? this was a topic of some contention last week! also why were you only seeing nine people then. Ragdoll had seen everyone in 1-A along with Aizawa and her fellow Pussycats at a minimum, so is this confirmation that Tora and Mandalay and Pixie-Bob are all really dead then, because I CAN AND WILL HUNT DOWN A MAN AND MAKE HIM CRY FOR A GOOD DEAL LONGER THAN TWO HOURS IF THAT’S REALLY THE CASE. was Kouta not traumatized enough already?? LET’S JUST ORPHAN HIM AGAIN WHY NOT THAT’S A GOOD PLAN

(ETA: I really hate that we are still up in the air regarding this? and I mean, sure, why not, we only had like a dozen lady heroes to begin with, so why not just kill off two more of them, offscreen, in one fell swoop??)

WHAT IS A SHAME. TOMURA. DAMN IT

(ETA: ??)

-- well hello there

OR MAYBE I WAS NOT A FOOL AT ALL?? lol guys. please do not tell me my hobo husband is flying his vengeful ass over to where Tomura all heedless of the danger because I really do not need that just yet. CAN MY FAVORITE CHARACTERS PLEASE FUCKING TAKE TURNS BEING IN TERRIBLE DANGER INSTEAD OF ALL AT ONCE

sob we’re cutting back to Endeavor and Deku and Kacchan. ACTUALLY THAT’S GOOD THOUGH why am I complaining. I’m just gonna have to get used to the fact that no one is going to truly be safe for the next god knows however many chapters, and make my peace with that. hahaha. yeah right

lmao Deku. “HEY WHAT’S UP, ME AND MY FELLOW CHILD HERE ARE GONNA LURE SHIGARAKI TOWARDS US, BUT WE’LL EXPLAIN OUR REASONS FOR THAT LATER. IF YOU SEE HIM MAKING ANY SUDDEN MOVEMENTS PLEASE INFORM US SO AS TO AID US IN THIS PLAN.” Endeavor if you just go along with this I will lose so much respect for you lmao

lol he is trying to argue a bit but then he’s suddenly cutting off. so in hindsight I don’t know why I said “lol”, really. I’M JUST NERVOUS OKAY

btw in the other translation Deku straight up asks if Endeavor can redirect Tomura towards them. “sure no problem bucko, let me just tell the walking apocalypse exactly where he can find you, my two sixteen-year-old interns whose safety I am responsible for. I was just thinking to myself that I hadn’t had my fill of crazy ill-thought-out plans with a high risk of death today”

holy --

okay I have not the SLIGHTEST clue what’s going on here, even after analyzing both scans, except that someone, probably Tomura, either just went CRONCH or just GOT cronched just now lmao. let us read on to find out who was cronched and who did the cronching

the rest of this page is not really much more helpful

but I am becoming increasingly suspicious that those were in fact Tomura’s new, improved and ridiculously thicc legs doing the cronching as he did a Marvel Superhero Landing from the most RIDICULOUS ANGLE POSSIBLE

LMAO NOW WHAT

so he just cronched onto the ground and fooshed Endeavor and then went flying off again huh

LMAO AT EVERYTHINNNNNG

THANK YOU ENJI. HE’LL LURE HIM AWAY. lols WHY THE FUCK DID YOU TELL THEM WHICH WAY HE WAS HEADED YOU BOOB

he really just fucking hung up on him afterwards too. just, “got it thanks amigo just leave everything to me, [CLICK]”

OH MY GOD

BECAUSE WE CAN’T HAVE ANYONE ELSE CONVENIENTLY INTERFERING WHEN YOU HAVE YOUR LITTLE THROWDOWN OF DESTINY HUH. THAT WOULD JUST BE TERRIBLE

-- oh shit

that’s just. a SLIGHT change in meaning, there. silly me. thinking “get rid of them” meant “get rid of their communications as opposed to FUCKING KILLING THE ONE YOU’RE NOT ACTUALLY AFTER. hmm. well that’s not good

(ETA: never have I been so happy that a translation was wrong lmao.)

so now Endeavor’s shouting at everyone else that Tomura is heading southwest and that he has “SUPER REGENARTION” (sic) and is no longer THE SAME THUG HE WAS BEFORE and yeah RHA you have officially won me over, flaws and all. listen up boyos. this ain’t your granddaddy’s Shigaraki Tomura. this one regenars

also “that damn kid...” like why the hell did my son have to go and befriend two protagonists. why is this my life now

AHAHAHAHA

“MIDORIYA IS IN DANGER...!!” STORY OF THIS MANGA. AHAHA. KACCHAN HE’S COMING. HE’S COMING, KACCHAN. for you two. someone please help me I am both terrified and thrilled beyond all recognition and my body doesn’t know how to handle the conflicting emotions. honestly crying for two hours is starting to sound more and more appealing

oh my god I forgot they didn’t know, though

fff. Kacchan especially didn’t know, because unlike Deku he doesn’t have random bits of other people’s souls going “heyyyyyyy... transcendent being at 12 o’clock.” what has this kid so bravely and stupidly gone and gotten himself into

look at them go

damn Deku can you really not float yet?? that’s going to be really inconvenient if that’s the case

(ETA: my boy really would have just straight up died. he would have died so hard.)

OH MY GOD

NOW YOU WANT TO ASK HIM LMAOOOO. well it’s because of all the character development!! if you must know

THAT’S NOT AN ANSWER BLASTY MCANGERTY

you’re not as smooth as you think you are, you know. we all know why you actually followed him. but fine, be that way

okay so now he’s giving a real-er answer though

“understand the situation”, the situation being that your best friend and his secret-trump-card-in-the-battle-against-evil quirk were being targeted by the guy who just obliterated this entire city. got it. you put it quite succinctly

and Deku is all

and Kacchan is all

love how he throws that protagonist crack in there too. because we all know that Deku absolutely is the protagonist lol, and so if that part’s obviously not true, we can make some inferences about the rest of what he’s saying too now can’t we

ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh snap

YOU SURE DO!! and he does with you too!! :) it’s gonna be one big happy reunion! :) :) :) oh gosh golly

OH NO KATSUKI WHAT ARE YOU DOING

what are you doing to me, I should clarify. please be considerate of my feelings. you can’t just DUMP sudden Kacchan Kamino Angst on me without any warning, you have to let me know in advance so that I can buy some thank you cards

THERE’S MOREEEEE???

YOU REMEMBER TOO, DON’T YOU DEKU. HE WAS ALL CRYING AND STUFF. IT WAS A LOT. IT’S POSSIBLE THAT I HAVE NEVER PERSONALLY GOTTEN OVER IT

AND IT LOOKS LIKE HE NEVER QUITE GOT OVER IT EITHER

:’)

by the way in the other translation he says “I’ll make up for what I did that day.” so yeah. BOOM. right to the heart. shot of me collapsing to the ground in slow motion

but it’s interesting though that he still can’t admit to having selfless motives yet! even after everything he’s been through and all his character growth! he’s still all GET RID OF THE REFERENCES TO ME CARING ABOUT YOU, WE CAN’T LET PEOPLE KNOW WE HAVE FEELINGS

but even his Kamino feels are notably first and foremost about him feeling responsible for failing All Might. so yeah, buddy. where does that leave you? even your feeble excuses are still rooted in selflessness, JUST GIVE IN AND ADMIT YOU’VE BEEN SECRETLY GIVING A SHIT BEHIND EVERYONE’S BACK. and honestly he might be better off at this point if he didn’t! BUT HE DOES. and that’s that

anyways Deku I sure hope you and your big hero brain can see right through this nonsense

god. you’re both in so much danger though, do you even have any idea?! of course you fucking don’t. god

HELLO BAKUGOU NARRATION!?!

well that’s one hell of a rare sight!! all fresh and chock full of shrewd observations about his best rival’s current skillset. ah what a time we’re living in

ooooh

gonna hold off commentary until I read the next part of this lol

OOOOOH

goddamn. Horikoshi really went off this week. just a whole chapter’s worth of Stuff Makeste Really Likes, goddamn is it my birthday or what

so do you guys think he’ll be able to keep pace all the way up to 100%? I can see this part being interpreted in two totally different ways if I’m being honest. on the one hand we have the more pessimistic (some would say realistic) view that Bakugou is desperately trying to convince himself that he’s still on the same level as the rival he so desperately wants to surpass, but with the sinking feeling that he’s actually not going to be able to keep up for much longer. and then on the other side of the coin we have the more glass-half-full perspective that he actually is capable of keeping up with him right to the bitter end. that even as Deku grows stronger, he’ll continue to push himself and use that as motivation to keep getting stronger too. that Deku isn’t out of reach; that his goal isn’t out of reach

and I’m not completely sure which way this is leaning myself! I personally would like to lean more towards the second interpretation, because y’all know I love me some rivals. and also because imo one of the most commendable things about Bakugou’s development has been how he hasn’t once been envious of Deku’s strength or of his position as All Might’s chosen heir since he learned about OFA. he hasn’t once shown any kind of resentment towards him for it, or doubted whether or not he deserves it. and as minor a detail as that may seem to some people, I cherish it. and I don’t want that to change! but I guess we shall see

so now we’re getting the clearest shot we’ve had yet of the new AFO holes in Tomura’s palms as he gets ready to combine some more quirks. also! more information about the quirks he has and is using! fucking thank you, where was this last week

so “radio waves” is clearly going to be used here to disrupt the heroes’ communication, which is a shame for them, but I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t relieved given the alternative! the RJ translation is clearly just a hot mess lol. but I still adore that one “I’ll make up for what I did” line though

WOW

THE DISRESPECT. LOL DID YOU JUST FUCKING KILL HIS ASS

(ETA: I just realized he’s nowhere to be found after this, though, so... did he?? or is he now lying somewhere now all wounded and waiting to be found by one, or, dare I say, two of his sons? ...)

LKDFJLSDKGHOSIDGHOISDflkwejfdfsdklggdflgnfdlgndakgalkgldfdfkwlfwiowelKLDSGKSL:DKGJL:DKFM?G?SGSDLKG?SDFSDF??LKJ@L!

HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT

HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT

even if you ask him nicely??! somehow I just can’t help feeling that he probably shouldn’t oblige you, though!?!?!

anyways. THAT AIN’T SAFE. and what the hell is happening in that bottom left corner ahhhhhh

AHHHHHHH

GRAN DM ME YOUR ADDRESS I WANT TO SEND YOU SOME FLOWERS AND A BASKET OF FRUIT AND CRACKERS AND SOME LITTLE CHEESES AND SAUSAGES

jesus christ it completely slipped my mind that there was one other person currently in the vicinity who knows about OFA. my good sir, maybe you would like to introduce these two dunderfucks to the concept of a “plan.” and maybe you can also find the single shared braincell they apparently dropped and lost somewhere back there in all the city rubble

oh fuck me

(ETA: does Kacchan look so rattled here because he is being lectured, or because he just saw a vision of his own death and is now having it explained to him just how close he came to being decomposed. you decide! I’ll just sit here and bask in the angst.)

fuck. main character gods were really working overtime here. anyways so how are you all doing this fine Friday afternoon. me, I’m just sitting here wrangling with the knowledge that Tomura’s quirk is even deadlier than I realized, and that my two little boys came within inches of dying horrible deaths just now. but anyways it’s not as humid today as it was yesterday so that’s really nice

anyways so now Gran is continuing to lecture the mayor of Dumb Ideas Town here, along with his friend the deputy mayor who still thinks he outranks the actual mayor

SHH NOW AND LISTEN TO YOUR GRANDPA

-- ohhhh shit son are they mounting a counterattack?? don’t tell me!!

also is Gran seriously faster than Tomura. that makes no fucking sense, and yet these two are only alive now because of it so I’M SURE NOT GONNA QUESTION IT

YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

AND IS AIZAWA ON HER BACK THOUGH???

AHAHHAHAHAHAHA

AH, BUT IT AIN’T GONNA WORK THOUGH, IS IT!!! AHAHAHA YESSSSSS

excellent question sir. the short answer is “they’re idiots”, and the long answer is just a longer version of “they’re idiots” but with some more complicated BakuDeku feels mixed in. I’ll tell you all about it if you just promise me that you’ll actually live through this, all right?

“is he after the two of them?” listen boy if you don’t finally put two and two together after this I’m gonna be fucking beside myself lol. (though honestly, Deku and Kacchan have been targeted by the League so many other times already that he might just simply accept “yeah they’re after them again” without any further explanation)

my dear gentlefolk would you fucking look at how the lord has blessed us on this day

Aizawa Fucking Shouta and the motherfucking dramatic intro to end all dramatic intros. finally this man gets his moment

someone please teach me how to cast a force field. teach me how to reach into the manga and slap this man and tell him to stop talking about how everyone’s noble sacrifices to protect him and his eraser quirk have led him to this day and to this one encounter. my guy. my fucking dude. THERE HAD BETTER BE SUBSEQUENT ENCOUNTERS AFTER THIS

NOOOOOOOOOOOO

ISN’T HE THOUGH??? Tomura I love you sweetie but you better BACK THE FUCK. OFF

well FINE THEN! BE THAT WAY. it’s not like my life revolves around you and your stupid manga anyway!! it’s not like I’m obsessed with it or anything!! I have other hobbies!! well I actually do have other hobbies, so that doesn’t really work as sarcasm, so let’s see though. maybe something more like, “this isn’t by far my favorite out of all my hobbies!!” I don’t spend 80-90% of my free time on any given day either actively or passively daydreaming about this series and writing essays in my head and reading fanfic and scrolling through art on tumblr!! etc.!! whatever!! enjoy your break!! have fun living your life!!

please don’t kill Aizawa

[mansionofmuses]

Alright fuck it I figured it's time to put my nuts in the ring when it comes to writing up rwde reviews about shiddy writing.

I already made a post about how closure doesn't exist in rwby, so that SHOULD trim this a bit. Hopefully.

These last two of seasons of rwby have been ASS and idk even know where to start. So lemme do some character progressions instead of jumping all over the place. Let's start with my fav: Neo. And I'll be as unbiased as possible.

Starting from v6, she came back and teamed up with Cinder. Cool? Cool. Fair enough. V7 onwards she's been treated like a BITCH by Cinder and has visibly shown her disdain for that on screen. And yet she still chooses to hang with her? Why? Like... Genuinely why? Is Neo not like the stealth queen? And the driver of a thousand vehicles? Why does she even need Cinder? Could she not have just jacked an airship herself, flown to Atlas after getting the info from Cinder, and began her hunt there? Instead she's just some minion to her now? Okay fine so let's say their team up makes sense in some odd world. Why the fuck would Neo agree to go to Cinder in the Satan Whale? Why? Why the fuck is she there? After being denied multiple times to get to Ruby and even being treated like shit with visible disdain, she should have absolutely left with a middle finger to Cinder. But nope. We get to see her be visibly uncomfortable in this cult and clearly wants out. Which she does, so good shit. She snatches the lamp and heads out. Fair enough, I guess? I don't know why the fuck she trusts Cinder to go back to her after being treated like shit. After Cinder's doodoo attitude towards her, Neo should be like "wow maybe she's lying to me about roman lemme check with this genie bitch" but no. And don't say "oh well she can't talk so jinn wouldn't be able to answer her." Fuck that. 1. I should hope that the password wouldn't be so ableist against mute people. 2. Neo's resourceful as hell. Text to speech and boom. There ya go. Instead she goes back to Cinder like a lost puppy after being shown multiple times how much she hates her. Why the fuck does she need Cinder to get to Ruby? I have no fucking idea! And then everyone's favorite scene. I know I know she killed Blake's hip atta-- I mean character devel-- I mean Yang. That scene. Was doodoo. And I'll get into more intricacies about it much later. But for now, why the hell was Neo so sloppy in that assassination? Like gurl you revealed yourself so early from, apparently so far away? Pretend to be a passerby with everything disguised (I saw that lamp) impale her and boom. Done. Not sure why she went for a slash either when a thrusting weapons like that would be best for a quicker impale. It would have made any on screen death so much more confirmed instead of up in the air bullshit.

Next we have Ironwood. Oh James. How far you've fallen. I don't really understand what the hell they're doing with this character any more. Like... At all. I fully expect him to turn into the joker and join salem at this point lmfao. At first he was complex, but cool, right? Ok a stern leader who still wants to help people and see team rwby in beacon grow and be successful. Fair enough. Then came v4 and he was like "hey yang. Heard about the arm. Here ya go homie." That was pretty cool to give to a young veteran. Fair enough. But good god once v7 hit, everything just went haywire. He started making the dumbest decisions. Kind of. I understand how he's like "aite let's sack mantle to ensure atlas lives cause otherwise both parties will be dead." except idk why he didn't just make a plan to evacuate everyone to mantle first but whatever. I mean team rwby did it like... In a day? Shouldn't have been hard. Then he started losing his fucking mind. There was an entire thing about trust issues and plans (ngl I didn't care enough to pay much attention) and he ends up wanting to arrest the kids more than actually stopping Salem. Like homie. Why. You have a gang of strong ass hunters on your side, don't just throw that away. They could say "acab fuck the police anarchy reigns" and you should still keep them just to fight literal satan on your doorstep. But he fucking drops everything and resources and materials on arresting them. Like why???? And then he just shoots a child just because? And he goes around full fascist mode and his character is just gone at that point. He literally actively wants to kill the people of Mantle now instead of stopping Salem and I don't fucking get it. He could literally plot with salem about how to nuke mantle and I'd be like "shoulda seen it coming". And then when he gets outta jail he kills Jacques... Just cause? Like why? I understand Jacques let Salem's forces in and eventually led to this shit show, but like... Atlas was falling. Just leave. I don't understand. But I guess it's to show how hateful he is towards those who oppose him, so whatever. Idk I'm so done with him. This man is just so boring I just can't wait for him to get killed off so we can be done with him. I'm sure I missed a fuckload of intricacies about Ironwood but I really don't care at all about this schmuck.

Next on the shitlist is the entirety of team rwby. Just to compact it all into one. Ruby has been getting on my nerves SO much. She is so holier than thou and always right. If she had just openly talked with Ironwood about all these secrets and shit, none of this would be happening. Yeah there would be panic, but homie what's the alternative? Fight in secrecy against the police and Salem?

"hey Ruby I noticed that lamp you keep hanging around. What is that?"

"oh uhhhh definitely not a grimm magnet HAHAHAHAH"

Like no shit everyone's gonna be pissed when you lie to them and keep these secrets. Also these plans are dogshit. "We gotta get a message out." To who??? The rest of the world is gonna see some lil kid be like "hey Ironwood's gone crazy and some evil witch bitch is here tryna kill us all." Like who are they gonna believe? A random girl or the fact that ironwood is the head of the largest military state in the world? For all they know it's just some prank and it's totally unbelievable.

Team RWBY sippin team for v8 and doing nothing all volume? Nice. "But they needed to protect Nora." You mean to tell me Ruby, May, Blake, and Weiss all had to be there to protect someone. The Grimm attacked once and that was it. You guys have no medical history. At all. All you did was wrap her up and drink tea during the volume where there's a literal war happening outside. You don't just "wait for help" you ARE THE HELP you're hunters you fucks! Go out and get shit done. Have like one person stay behind just in case shit goes wrong. Preferably Weiss so she can have those meaningful conversations with her family members she never fucking had. But whatever. Ruby and Yang get into... A fight? That lasts for five seconds when they leave and then when they see each other again it just doesn't matter so I'm not sure why the fuck it was brought up at all. It had no impact whatsoever. And there's a ton more I'm sure I'm just burning out at this point. But let's just talk about the big shit. Yang's death. Everyone's saying she'll come back because plot armor but I'm in the "I genuinely think she's dead" group. She turned to Dust as she fell. I mean who knows maybe Deus Ex machina rears it's convenient head. I hate hate hate how that scene was done. That was such an unbelievable death. Weiss, Ruby, and even Blake all have ways of catching her. Easily. Weiss has like fifty ways of catching someone between summons and semblance. Ruby can teleport around the world. And Blake can just shadow clone jutsu her way there but WHATEVER. I guess everyone was too busy being nerfed and sucking ass. Again. And the reactions? Dog shit. Even when she sacrifices herself for Ruby, it's still all about the bees. It's so genuinely annoying. Ruby just whispers her sisters name and that's pretty much it aside from a >:( face here and there. Weiss doesn't even grieve she just comforts Blake who's losing her shit. And I don't know why Weiss doesn't grieve cause SHE WAS HER HOMIE TOO LIKE C'MON RT LET'S SEE SOME UGLY SOBBING DAMN so now everyone's gone feral (except Weiss who just doesn't give a shit about Yang apparently.) And despite Blake saying "yo let's not kill people aite Yang?" She's gonna say fuck that and have it out for Neo and Cinder out of revenge. Alright I guess. That's fair honestly. Challenging ones own morals based on emotions. Good enough. But god I just wished we could see more from Ruby and Weiss during that. Also I'm so sick of the "oh this character fell are they dead are they not?" Thing that rt keeps doing. Just have Neo impale her and go. Easy as that. On screen confirmation. I'm sure team RWBY has a fuckload more to crit but I'm done with this topic.

Winter. Bootlicking to the extreme that she casts aside her own sister and doesn't care if her friends die. Nice. No closure at all after she turns back to being a good guy I guess. I'm done with her. Not a whole lot to say.

The aceops are just so dumb. I'm done with them. Everytime they talk about genocide for the good of atlas I'm just rolling my eyes. Just say you're fascists and move on. And idk why the fuck harriet is gonna bomb an empty mantle. Atlas is already falling on it, you literally have no reason to do this. And this plot point is stupid as hell. Next.

Cinder. I'm not sure why they decided to randomly drop her background story into the mix. Like I don't think anyone gives a shit after all the crap she's done. I'm so sick of rt trying to make her some "uwu woe is me" woobie after doing so much shit and killing so many people. Her uwu crying moments are just stupid. Honestly watts is one of my fav characters just for telling her how crappy she is. Next

Hazel. Homie is dumb as hell. He hates Ozpin because his sister died in a mission. Fair enough. Why the fuck would you ever join Grimm Hitler when Grimm are what killed her in the first place??? Like??? Just hate him on your own time dude, jesus. And he is consistently hypocritical and it's so stupidly funny how bad this character is.

"HOW MANY MORE CHILDREN WILL YOU HURT OZPIN" as he beats the piss outta Nora, Ren, RWBY, Oscar, and probably some random five year old on the street while shouting OZPIIIIN to the skies. It also didn't take a whole lot to convince him how stupid he was thank god. His character was so cool in design and in theory but good god he got executed soooo fucking poorly. Kinda glad he's dead just so we don't have to deal with his stupidity. Next.

Emerald. This bitch. I can't. I LOVE how easily rwby just forgave her. It was so stupidly funny. "oh but yang was ready to fight her at first and snatched her weapons" yeah for five fucking minutes. Then came the part where she helped stabilize Penny and gave a half assed speech about switching sides. Meanwhile everyone's just magically forgiving of her like OH THAT EMERALD AHAHAH like she didn't help orchestrate the fall of Beacon, the death of many, including Penny, and all the terrible shit that's gone down. No resentment from RWBY except for my favorite line delivered this volume. It was Weiss's ever so beautiful "SHUT UP" LOL (I play Smite and I love how her VVGQ Quiet voice line sounds the same. So when I heard this line, I thought of Smite and immediately laughed. Kudos to you Weiss.)

Salem. The hound attacked Penny in the mansion... Why? You already established connection with Watts in jail. Did he not tell her "ay she cool with us." And in turn did she not tell him "ay she cool with us don't hit her"? I guess not? Cause the hound and penny shoulda bounced together the second they met up lmao. Other than that, salem's done nothing this volume except try to be scary and get her ass beat by hazel. She could easily just go out in the field with her grimm and blasts some people or SOMETHING GOD so far our main villain is just so boring and unimposing that literally every other villain, including her subordinates, feel more like threats than her.

Now I'll just talk about scenes.

The scene with ambrosius was COATED IN CONVENIENCE. Apparently Ozpin didn't tell the gang about the WinMore button they could just fucking walk to until now because??? Idk. I LOVE how team rwby just assumed that penny would be okay when they took her robot parts out. Realistically she should just be a floating husk of aura and nothingness. Like she never had organs. I don't understand how she's a real person now? Which, by the way, I'm pretty fucking insulted about how they handled that. Why make Penny human? She was already a real girl and accepted by her loved ones. Like shit, she was a character that a LOT of transgirls, myself included, could relate to on a personal level and we LOVED how Ruby handled it in v2. It was cute! It was sweet! She said she was a real girl back then and it made all of our collective kokoros go doki doki. Fun stuff!

But now? It feels like none of that was validated until she got an actual human body. Like damn I wish I could just get my ideal body within seconds. Shit. I've seen and heard a lot of upset from my fellow tgirls about how doodoo that scene was, because it's implying penny wasn't a real girl until after she got her human body and that's probably how most of the rwby fandom is gonna see it too. "oh wow penny's a real girl now!" And just forget Ruby's cute speech in v2. So annoying. Minor nitpick, if she's got the aura of a black man inside of her (her father), and her robot body is gone, why the fuck isn't she black? Like? Idk minor nitpick I guess. But anyways back to ambrosius scene. I love how rwby had the answers for everything within the hours worth of planning they were given by Ironwood's motive. Totes believable. And yet the "one way ticket to vacuo" thing was the simplest shit they could have avoided lmfao. Like THAT is what you trip up on? Not the portals you're trying to make or the assumption that penny lives without her robot parts? Insane. (side note: how did oscar have a flashback to that scene if he wasn't even there?)

And now everyone's favorite scene. Yangs death. Already covered it early I just wanted to add more on. This scene is insane. Like... If they actually go through with killing her (i don't see how she could have survived turning into dust) then roosterteeth is dumber than I gave them credit for. Like... They have to realize the shitstorm they're gonna receive right? First they kill off clover, an lgbt+ coded character. Next is Yang? A main character who is WIDELY loved by all. Apart of their most pandered ship in existence: bees. (Both the ship and the character make them so much money in merch btw so this was stupid from an objective standpoint.) You can't just kill a main character that is heavily lgbt+ coded in THE most popular ship in the show. Like... How dumb can they be? They're gonna lose so many fans at the very least. Sales? Down. Death threats? Way up. It would be astonishing if they weren't up to their necks in shit in backlash by that decision. Bury Your Gays trope strikes again folks. But this time with everyone's favorite! Like I just... Idk that decision was stupid and that scene hardly was given any real pomp or circumstance it deserved. She's a major title character and that scene lasted like a minute lmao. It's gonna be RWBY without the Y. RWB. As in rt is a bunch of rubes for making that decision. A cynical part of me thinks they did that just because they want an excuse to off Neo, another really loved character. (Well if everyone hates her now we can kill her off cause god knows we don't know what to do with her), but I'm not gonna make this about her. I honestly don't know how to feel about this death tbh. On one hand it's shitty and *points to essay above*. On another it lets Blake be her own character for once. We get to see who she is on our own. And we can finally shift gears from The Bees Show featuring Some Plot to RWBY without the Y. But again that scene was done horribly with doodoo writing already explained up above. They're gonna use this as some edgy excuse to have the heroes start killing again or grieve or whatever bullshit shock value.

(now that I think of it tho, Neo shoulda killed yang in v2. How the fuck did Raven know she was finna die again. Lmao)

Anyways, that's my two cents. I'm sure there's so much more I forgot. Love or hate my ramble idc these are just my thoughts. I'm sure I made doodoo arguments at some points so feel free to call me an idiot and point them out. Imma bounce. My fingers fucking hurt lmfao

[nataliedanovelist]

GF - Growing Old(er)

Alternate Title: Growing Older

Summary: Everyone has a sinking realization that life is temporary and that we’re all gonna die, and unfortunately sweet Mabel has her’s.

~~~~~~~~~~

“Come on, Stanley, be serious!”

“I am serious! Dipper can have my boxing gloves and Mabel can have my old collection of photos.”

“This is an important document that goes above and beyond a few keepsakes!” Ford tried to explain this, yet again, to his brother. “We need to discuss more important arrangements…”

“Look, Wise Guy, the Shack already belongs to Soos…”

“But what about the car? What about the Stan O’ War?”

“The boat’s gonna be burned down with us in it.” Stan held up his hands in front of him and moved them apart as he elaborated. “Picture this: two old sailors lying in their boat, their friends and family shooting flaming arrows at it across the sea as some farewell-bar song plays. We’d go down like kings!”

“Yeah, no.” Ford said firmly. “We’re not doing that.”

Mabel skipped into the living room and found her grunkles at the card table. They had a bunch of stupid-looking documents covering the table, but Ford seemed like the only one really interested in it, a pen in his hand and he was leaning forward to work while Stan was sipping a can of soda and sat back in the chair. “Whatcha doin’?” She asked.

“Constructing our will and testimony.”

“WHAT?!” Mabel shrieked and covered her mouth with her hands. Her uncles stared at their niece as her eyes filled with tears and she struggled to ask with a choked whisper, “Are… are you guys…”

“Oh no, pumpkin.” Stan scooped her up into his lap and hugged her. Mabel clung onto his undershirt tightly and bit her lip as she tried not to cry. “Sixer and I are fine, I promise. He just thought it’d be a bright idea to get this outta the way for when we do kick the bucket.”

Ford leaned forward and rubbed her back. “I’m sorry, my dear, I never meant to scare you like this. I swear, we’re both perfectly healthy and going to be around for awhile.”

Mabel wiped her tears away with the sleeve of her sweater and sniffed. “O-Okay. So… why are you making a will?”

“Well, unfortunately someone bypassed the downsides of faking your death and stealing another man’s name.” Ford said lightly as he gave Stan a crooked smile. His twin just stuck his tongue out at him. “So there are some things we need to discuss to simplify complicated actions and it would be a good idea to make certain arrangements.”

“Like what?”

“Well, since in a way we both share the name ‘Stanford Pines’, it would be wise to make such legal documents together. This will ensure that the right people receive the right gifts and inheritance, and that our bodies are properly taken care of in an orderly manner that best helps the living grieve and keeps the government off our backs.”

Mabel still didn’t like the sound of all of this. “But why do you guys need to talk about it? You said you’re fine.”

“We are, sweetie,” Stan said warmly and ruffled her hair. “But we’re not gonna be around forever. Eventually these old farts are gonna be sleeping with the fishes, and when that happens we just wanna make sure everything’s taken care of. At least that’s what Sixer wants. I don’t care what happens as long as my tombstone is bigger than his.”

“That is not going to happen.” Ford said firmly with a smile.

“Too bad, I called it.”

“Since when?!”

“Since the election last summer. The niblings can back me up, right Mabel?”

The brunette grinned and shrugged. “Sorry, but since you two aren’t fighting anymore it doesn’t count. Clean slate!”

“What?!” Stan gasped with a smile. “Betrayed by my own pumpkin! Fine! Someone’s not getting my old stop-motion movies!”

“Good!” Mabel laughed with her uncles for a little bit while Ford wrote some stuff down, still trying to complete the task. The teenage girl looked up at her hero and she remembered the reason why she came in here in the first place. “Hey, do you guys wanna go make some cupcakes with me? I’ve got extra sprinkles!”

“Sure,” Stan let Mabel slide off his lap and he stood, but his brother stopped him.

“Not so fast, Stan, we have to finish this at some point. Why don’t we make cupcakes after dinner?”

Mabel’s concerns were coming back. She looked at Ford carefully to try to pick up a lie. “I thought you said you two were okay.”

“We are, Mabel, I promise.” Ford even paused his work and crossed his heart for his niece, making her smile. “But no one lives forever. One day we won’t be here. It’s like Stanley said; we just want to make sure everything will be okay.”

“It’s the way it works.” Stan said with a shrug and plopped down in his chair. “We’re born, we live a little, and then we die. S’long as you don’t just survive but live too, it ain’t so bad.”

Mabel stared at her uncles. “Aren’t you scared?” Her voice was meek and lacked her usual confidence.

“Of death? Not really.” Ford admitted. “Death is nothing but the next great adventure. An unseen destiny awaiting all mortals at the end of their lifespans.”

“And hey, that doesn’t mean I’m ready to go just yet.” Stan added in. “I wanna see my kids graduate and get married and have their own little gremlins to terrorize them.”

“Oh, absolutely!” Ford quickly agreed with. “I didn’t mean we’re done with life, but the more familiar we become with death, the less frightening it is.”

“Besides, we’ve both faced the hooded dude so many times, leaving with him will be like seeing an old friend.” Stan barked a quick laugh and added, “Maybe I’ll grab drinks with him!”

Mabel giggled, but then slowly wandered onto a dark train of thought. The idea of death was not new to her; she and her brother had nearly died at the hands of an evil triangle (she still sometimes had nightmares about it). But even though she had come to terms with growing up, she hadn’t put two and two together and realized that growing up also means growing older and then dying. It was new territory Mabel had not yet ventured into, and suddenly she didn’t feel like making cupcakes anymore.

~~~~~~~~~~

The next day the subject was still on Mabel’s mind. One day, her favorite people in the whole world were going to die. Stan was going to die, Ford was going to die, Dipper was going to die. Then she would be all alone until she died. But then what? The end? Lights out? There were such things as ghosts, so maybe they could come back and haunt Gravity Falls as a family, but the ghosts didn’t seem quite like themselves on Earth; they were vengeful and angry and hurt. Mabel’s grunkles had enough of that in life, so maybe it was for the best that they don’t come back.

Mabel was so distracted that she tripped on a rock while walking in the woods and scraped her knee. She held it and winced with tears in her eyes, a little bit of blood trickling down from her small wound. “Ow, ow, ow! What the…”

She looked at the rock that had caused it and saw something odd by it. A necklace with a silver chain and a red ruby in a circle sparkled by the rock. Mabel picked it up and looked at it. Scratches of some kind were around the ruby and it sparkled and looked pretty. The ruby was a darker red than most normal rubies, but there was no denying the sparkling gem. “Wow, cool! I bet Grunkle Ford would love to look at this.” For safekeeping, Mabel put it around her neck and tucked it under her sweater as she stood.

She continued on her way to town and she smiled at the arcade. As she approached, she was oblivious to her changing body. She grew a few inches taller, now maybe slightly shorter than Wendy, and her hair was shorter, now only to her shoulders. A few zits littered her maturing skin and her curves were growing in. Mabel was so distracted by her thoughts and the need to think of something else that she didn’t even notice. Her clothes magically changed with her so she didn’t feel tight or uncomfortable.

Mabel entered the arcade and happily played that new battle video game she had her eye on. Shooting aliens made her feel a little bit better, but it also made her hungry. She left the arcade a little while later and talked to herself as she wandered around Gravity Falls for something to eat. “I mean, I get it. There’s nothing wrong with change. I know there’s nothing I can do about it, but I guess I never really thought about everything changing like that.”

As Mabel walked, her hair grew back to it’s normal length and her zits went away. Her vision was a little blurry, but Mabel just shrugged it off and dismissed it as a sign that she was tired. She did feel emotionally drained as she purchased a jelly-filled doughnut and munch on it, her mind now in a rut. She had no idea what to do or where to go to feel better, so maybe a walk in the woods would help.

Mabel strolled through the forest and continued to think about life and death. “Poor guys… what will happen to them if they’re not together? What if Grunkle Stan dies first? Grunkle Ford will be all alone, but what if Grunkle Ford dies first? Then Grunkle Stan will be all alone again. None of that’s fair.” Mabel then gasped in horror and her eyes became more blurry due to tears. “What if Dipper dies first and I end up all alone? Or what if I die first and then he’ll be all alone? Ugh, why can’t every twin die of duel heart attack?!”

Mabel was very tired. Her back ached and her legs ached and her knees ached and she had a headache… everything hurt. She realized she was at the lake and she decided to sit by the shoreline and rest. She held her knees by her chest and peered down at the water. “I guess I just gotta… WHAT?!” Mabel yelled in horror and jumped away from her reflection, but then forced herself to make sure she wasn’t crazy.

An old version of Mabel stared back at the thirteen-year-old. Her gray hair was the same shade as Grunkle Stan’s except for a stripe of darker gray down her long hair, kinda like Grunkle Ford. She had wrinkles from all of her past smiles and her hands were ached with arthritis. In fact, everything hurt, but if Mabel had to guess, her reflection was only in her fifties.

“Wow… I look so cool!” Mabel cheered as she peered down at the lake. “Look at me! I look like a silver fox! This is great! I can buy all the drinks and magazines I want! On weekdays I get half-priced dinners! I get free money from the government! And now I don’t have to go to high-school!” She laughed at her own joke, but then her back popped painfully and she yelped. “Ouch! Is this how the guys feel all the time?” Mabel asked as she looked at her curly gray hair and her wrinkling skin. A scary realization started to sink in. “Oh no. This… This is bad… What if I… Ford!” She gasped and quickly stood up. “Grunkle Ford will know what to do! He can fix me!”

Against better judgment, Mabel ran as fast as she could for home. Her hair became grayer and curlier as it began to lose it’s life. Mabel suddenly felt an overwhelming pain in her chest, making it hard to breathe, and she tripped over her own feet and fell, unable to get back up. The old lady moaned on the grass, helpless. She looked up and with her horrible vision she could have sworn she could see a brown triangle up ahead, indicating the Mystery Shack.

“Help… help…” She breathed weakly, but no one was coming. She sighed with exhaustion and laid back down on her front to try to regain some rest so she could move forward.

Dipper, meanwhile, had been looking for his sister. He guessed she was hanging out with Candy and Grenda, but in case she was somewhere in the house he wanted to ask her if she had borrowed his BABBA CD. “Mabel? Mabel?” He called on the porch. He shrugged and was about to head inside, forced to be patient, but then he heard and saw Waddles scamblering out of the woods alone; immediately Dipper suspected something was off; Mabel never lets her beloved pig explore alone, but maybe he had been adventurous and sneaky and now regretted it.

“Waddles?” Dipper scratched the top of his head to calm him down. “What’s up, buddy? You okay?”

Waddles suddenly bit his vest, tugged, and then let go and ran back to the edge of the woods. He oinked and squealed, begging Dipper to follow him. Taking his chances, Dipper followed, wondering if something - or someone - was out there. Only a few steps into the woods and Dipper saw a woman on the ground face-first. He saw the long gray hair and gasped with shock when he realized it was an old lady. “Whoa, hey, are you okay, miss?” He asked and was on his knees by her side, unsure how to help.

“Dipper…” The old lady sighed and looked up at the boy.

“Mabel?!” Dipper gasped; she may be old, but he could recognise her own twin. “What the heck happened?! Did you time travel? Are you from the future?!”

“N-No…” Mabel sighed. “Ford… Grunkle Ford… get…”

“Come on, I’ll take you to him.” Dipper said firmly to mask his fear. He draped one of his sister’s frail arms over his neck and helped her up to her feet. Slowly but surely they were heading back towards home.

Meanwhile, Ford was at the kitchen table, pleasantly munching on his lunch. Stan, on the other hand, shivered, put down his fork, and gulped down some soda.

“What, you don’t like my tuna salad?” The scientist asked.

“No. Who puts raisins in tuna salad?”

“The French.”

“Well, it’s not right.” Stan grumbled as he started on a new task: picking the raisins out of his meal.

Ford rolled his eyes and got up to refill his glass with water. The door opened and they heard Dipper’s voice before they saw him. “Grunkle Ford!”

He smiled kindly and turned, “What is it, m-” He dropped his glass, letting it shatter by his boots.

Mabel hung loosely by his shoulder, her hair gray and her skin in wrinkles. The elder twins rushed to her and Stan got to her first, holding her gently by the chin to look at her face. “Mabel, sweetie! Can you hear me? What happened?!”

“I don’t know, I just found her like this!” Dipper answered.

“Set her in the armchair.” Ford instructed. “We can fix this…”

“What if we can’t?!” Stan dared to ask. “I’m not just saying this cuz of her age, but she doesn’t look good.”

“No, you’re right.” Ford elaborated. “She’s not that much older than us, but the sudden change must have taken a toll on her body; we’ve had time to adjust and keep our bodies in good shape… or at least prevent aches, but she hasn’t had that kind of time. But she’ll be fine, we can reverse this, I’m sure of it.”

Dipper had Mabel sit on the armchair, her eyes closed, and now sitting back the amount of effort she had to put into breathing was more apparent. She groaned slightly and the boys were shocked to find her aging again more rapidly in front of them. Her wrinkles were deeper and her hair slowly turned white.

“Dipper, get the first aid kit, now!” Ford commanded and the teenager was off like a rocket.

Stan sat on the dino-skull and held her thin hand. “Just hang on, pumpkin, we’ve got this.” He soothed, his voice trembling slightly due to his tightening throat.

Mabel moaned slightly and tried to open her eyes. “Gr-Grunkle Stan…”

“Yeah, it’s me, sweetheart.” Stan smiled and squeezed her hand. “You’ll be fine, you’re a Pines for crying out loud, so just hang in there, okay?”

Mabel cracked a small smile and nodded.

Dipper was back. “Here!”

“Good,” Ford opened it and took her opposite hand, pulling out a stethoscope and listening to her heartbeat through her wrist. “Let’s see…”

Mabel was aging again; her hair was thinning and some of it was falling out of her scalp. Her hand in Stan’s grasp was now nothing more than skin on bones, her veins sensitive. She moaned and had to put more effort into her breathing; now she looked almost a hundred.

“No, no, no!” Stan called. “Mabel?”

“Hold on, sweetie, it’ll be okay.” Ford gently coached Mabel as he listened to her heartbeat, praying it would never stop.

“What the…” Dipper began to notice faint glowing behind Mabel’s sweater. He pulled down to see her neck and upper-chest and he gasped at a red ruby necklace with a silver chain. The gem was glowing and vibrating, almost looking like it was hot, and when Dipper went to touch it, it almost burned his skin and it was stuck to Mabel’s skin like it had been super-glued onto her.

“That’s not any gem!” Ford gasped. “That’s a Youth-Sucker! It drains the wearer’s youth until the host dies and then the necklace will feed off of the body.”

“What do we do, what do we do?!” Stan asked.

“We have to remove it, carefully.” Ford said and turned to Dipper. “Get the tool kit.” And the teenager was gone, again.

Too soon Mabel was aging again. More hair was falling out, now half of it was gone and the rest remaining was thin. Mabel tried to swallow a moan but it was very apparent on her face that she was in a lot of pain. The pain would definitely explain the sou-sucking leech. Ford eyed the anomaly on his niece’s chest as it began to pur happily over the approaching meal.

“Dipper, hurry!” Ford barked harshly.

Mabel struggled to open her eyes, but she was tired of looking at the darkness. “I… I love you…” Her voice was so quiet and so weak it was a miracle it could be heard.

Stan squeezed her hand as tightly as he could risk without hurting her. “We love you too, pumpkin, but don’t gimme any of that mushy stuff like it’s goodbye, okay?” He blinked to try to ease the stinging in his eyes.

“M’scared…”

“Here!” Dipper was back and practically threw the tool box at Ford so he could get to work.

The scientist pulled out one of his electronic gloves and a pair of tweezers and instructed,” Dipper, hold down the sweater’s neck so I can work.” Dipper helped the gem being showcased and it continued to vibrate and burn and pur. Mabel would probably have a very nasty burn on her chest for a while, but that didn’t matter nearly as much as saving her life.

“Easy, easy,” Ford said mostly to himself as he carefully pinched the gem by the hook where the string was, reading to pull when the anomaly was at its weakest. He would have to do it quickly to not worsen Mabel’s burn with his glove, and so in classic Stanford Pines action, with one swift movement he shocked the gem and pulled it off of Mabel’s chest the second it screeched with pain and anger.

The moment the Youth-Sucker was off Mabel her youth returned her to and soon she was a tired thirteen-year-old, rosy cheeked and with a full head of beautiful brown hair. She blinked her eyes open and rubbed them with her fists, like waking from a dream, and was surprised to find still electrocuting the Youth-Sucker in his fist as punishment for trying to kill his Mabel. “Whoa.”

“Mabel!” Stan cried out and swallowed her into his lap for a tight hug. “Don’t scare me like that, pumpkin, I thought I was gonna lose you!”

“I’m sorry, I just thought it looked cool.” Mabel tried to explain but her face was buried in his chest and she happily hugged him back.

“Well, all’s well that ends well.” Ford breathed, his anxiety finally going down as he stood normally and pocketed the Youth-Sucker to dissect for science. “I’m sure there’s a valuable lesson to take from all of this.”

“Meh, too tired to figure that out.” Mabel moaned as she nuzzled her face against her grunkle.

“Alright, then bed sweetie.” And Dipper and Ford knew better than to point out that he was taking her to his bedroom instead of the attic; Stan needed a nap, too, and there was no way he was going to let his little girl out of his arms for a while after that traumatizing scare.

[trying-write-fanfics]

Shouji Mezo X Reader part  6 Remember

They went back to class. Aizawa explained the assignment to them as Y/n typed a letter to her brother. Honestly she didn’t think her situation had reached her brother. Though they were family, they didn’t really talk about much. Maybe if someone died, their mom would be force to spread some information, but Y/n saw her as a person who would try to bring the dead back just so she wouldn’t have to talk to all four of her children. That being said, she did like her siblings, enough. They weren’t close enough in age to tease her like they use to. When they were children they did, but now they all just treat Y/n like she’s only a child that needs minimal protecting. I mean yeah they see her as frail, but she’s someone else’s job. Her oldest brother was her favorite. He didn’t change, even though he was always protective of Y/n. He didn’t understand her well, nor did she understand him, but she was grateful for his efforts to minimize the damage done. 

“Hey, Miss Velia, do you wanna sit with us during lunch?” Tsu asked.

 So she did. Momo made her nervous, but she would keep with the lie as long as she could. She didn’t know what would happen if she was found out. Everything catches up eventually. She gave out hair advice, skin care, but then they asked why she singled out Bakugo. Y/n explained being someone who isn’t hero driven can see why he wouldn’t be likeable when he made pro. It just seemed he was sticking his self worth on others and will forever compare himself which will always make him unsatisfied. He won the sports festival but felt he never got a real win. It made sense why it felt that way, but would he truly be happy if Todoroki used his left side? No something else would surely come up in her eyes. He needs to get his ass kick to taste victory for real. Then the girls asked if Y/n had any other advice. 

“Honestly don’t take my advice too seriously. I never wanted to be a hero.” She told them. 

“Then why do you know how to fight?” Mina asked. 

“It’s a good skill to have in these times. Sure hero killer stain would never target me, but that doesn’t mean other crazy people with quirks are out there. Besides with a quirk like mine it’s expected that I learn something.”

Momo’s eyes widen as she figured it all out. 

Once the students were back at the dorms Momo went to Jiro and Izuku. They were the two closest people to talk to in such a private conversation. 

“I have something to tell you guys. Aizawa lied about who miss Y/n Velia is.” Momo told the two. 

“What do you mean?”

“She’s not just some random person. Here I have a page I wanna show you.” Momo pulled out her phone.

“She’s the daughter of a government official!” Izuku was surprised, but that wasn’t all.

“She’s our age.” Jiro added. “How did you know something was up.

“I’ve met her before.” Momo said. “Her father invited my family over to a benefit to get people to sign a petition. I don’t know if my parents ever signed it, but people compared our quirks. She could create and use quirks as long as she understood them, and I could create objects as long as I understood them.” Momo explained. 

“Why would he lie about her age, and why isn’t she in school?” Jiro asked.

“From what little I know about her, a lot has changed. The next time I saw her she told me she couldn’t use her quirk, and then she just didn’t show up: but here’s this photo op with her and her father.” Momo showed another webpage. “Her name is (full name).”

 Though they were speaking quietly they were in a hallway. Once Shouji heard they were talking about the teaching aid, he listened. He stayed in the stairway. This all wasn’t as shocking as he thought. He knew something was up with that girl. Turns out she’s his age, but that wasn’t a surprise. It took like 2 days to figure something was up?

“Why would she be here though? What could she gain by helping Aizawa.” Izuku asked.

“I have a theory, but I could be wrong. Her mother is a scientist in quirk biology. She could be researching quirks and what better school than U.A?” Momo explained.

The information spread, Shouji wasn’t the only one eavesdropping one the conversation. Once it got around the class had a discussion. Of course Y/n wasn’t present yet. She was researching a topic for a busy work paper.

“Should we ask why she would spy on our class?”

“I knew something was up!”

“If we ask does the whole experiment fail?”

“We never consented to that.”

“Maybe we did in the agreement forms. No one ever reads those.”

“But why would they hire a 15 year old, so many other people would be way more qualified.” 

“Hey she has Instagram!”

Aizawa sighed. Of course they would figure something was up, not only was Y/n not the best actress, but she got into a fight with another student and asked for “the tea”. It was like a town hall debate on the girl’s existence at the school. They were wrong, she wasn’t here for her mother, she was here to get away from her mother.

“Well congratulations, you guys are good enough detectives.” Aizawa told the class. He decided to come clean with it all, her position in the school wasn’t the weirdest thing to happen. “(Full name) is here because she committed a lot of petty crimes.” The whole class gasped. Why would someone like that be in the school. “Calm down, she’s more of a threat to herself than any of you. She mostly was accomplice or accessory to a crime by letting the real criminals escape.”

 The class roared with questions. They knew she was rich, but why would someone like her have to commit a crime!

“Quiet! Next person to interrupt is going to be suspended.” Aizawa said. “She is still a minor, just like all of you. I did capture her, and use excessive force when I took her down. When the court decided our punishment, I was given the task to take care of her. Since she’s young, they’re hoping I can guide her to a better path, one that doesn’t end a jail sentence. I figured she can help you guys understand petty crimes, and help her understand her own quirk better. She doesn’t have a phone to contact anyone. We read all her mail, and she can’t communicate with her mind, so she isn’t contacting her old gang.” 

Yaoyorozu’s hand went up. 

“What do you mean she doesn’t understand her quirk?”

“Most you guys have used your quirk when you used your quirk outside of school. (Last name) was instructed to not use her quirk by her family. It seems every time she uses her quirk she gets hurt in the process, but it’s not like Midoriya’s where he breaks his fingers or arms. It’s all random what comes back.”

“Nothing happened to her when she copied my quirk!” Bakugou yelled.

Shouji raised his hand. 

“What is it?” Aizawa asked. 

“She had something on her stomach, it was a lot bigger than what I could see though. Is that the affect of her quirk?”

“How did you see her stomach!” Mina asked. 

“She was looking at it when she was picking up the assignment yesterday.” Shouji answered. 

“Damn Shouji I wanna see that sort of action!” Mineta yelled.

“Quiet! From what I know she gets rashes, coughs up blood, or a blood pressure burst, asthma attacks, and some other side effects.” Aizawa explained. 

“How do you know for sure she’s not dangerous?” Jiro asked. “She did attack Bakugo.”

“She didn’t hurt me! She just cheated is all.”

“I must admit I should keep a better eye on her. After seeing the sports festival and you work studies, any of you could probably take her now that you know her quirk.”

“But she does know how to fight.” Tsu said.

“In your future as a hero you will need to be able to combat all sorts of fighting styles. Her best strength is the element of surprise. Since all of you have seen her quirk, know its her weakness, I’m sure you guys could take her down if she tried.”

“What is she doing now?” Jiro asked.

“A paper.” Aizawa replied “she’s under surveillance.”

“When you captured her, you said you used excessive force, was she that scary of an opponent?” Izuku asked. 

“I misjudged her. I didn’t see her use her quirk much when I had to chase her down, so when I went hand to hand combat with her, I was surprised she didn’t rely on her quirk. I thought she had something up her sleeve like a bomb or a flash grenade, so I had to take her down fast. She sacrificed herself so two others could escape. She’s not the big evil scary villains you are all use to, she’s a teenager just like you, who can help you with your training.”

 The atmosphere changed. They wanted to be mad because they were really lied to and put with someone who could be dangerous, but she wasn’t as dangerous. She was just like them, wanting to help someone else in a dire time. 

“What about school for (last name)” Kaminari asked.

“She’s been an online student. She doesn’t have to show up for her classes.” Aizawa explained.

“What’s gonna happen to her now? Since we know…” Tsu asked. 

“I’ll tell her later that you guys found out, but she’ll still be my teaching aid. It’s not like she’s allowed back home.”

“What’s happening to the (last names)?” Momo asked. 

“They’re gone for long periods of time. Sure Y/n can take care of herself, but it got her in a life of criminal activity.”

The class went back to teaching. There was a gray cloud around them. Iida, Momo, and Shoto were all realizing that they met Y/n at least once. Momo already knew, but she was trying to analyze everything she remembered. Shoto remembered how she was with her mother, they were asking his father questions. It was a private meeting, but they came to the house a couple times. Endeavor kept the two kids separated. Shoto assumed it was because he didn’t want Shoto to remain childish, but maybe it was something else. Iida’s situation was the same as Momo’s, but he wasn’t as young. He remembered her father and mother joining his family for dinner. Y/n came and didn’t leave her parent’s side. He didn’t even remember her talking at all. It was a dinner about politics. 

Izuku tried rationalizing everything Y/n had said to him. How she called him beefcake, and worried about his quirk. Her mother is a scientist of the biology of quirks. She couldn’t be a criminal, but she was. How could they trust her not to do anything. They were attacked on the USJ. Now they’re keeping her nearby.

[appavevo]

okay so listen some times you get really interested in one single thing and that’s all you think about for a long time so you develop some dumb thoughts and here are a list of mine about atla and tlok in no particular order

1. in tlok they made aang look so BORING like so COOKIE CUTTER. the only times i like how they made aang look is in the old friends poster and in the picture where he’s airbending the rolls like that’s IT like come on yall focus too much on making the hair differenet people got faces too ya know

2. TENZIN IS LIKE 16 YEARS OLDER THAN PEMA??? ISN’T THAT CRAZY??? LIKE PEMA WOULD HAVE ONLY BEEN ABOUT 20 WHEN AANG DIED. ALSO TENZIN HAD KIDS SO OLD

3. at the end of tlok bumi must be about the age (maybe a few years younger) when aang died that’s so weird bc bumi doesn’t look old i wonder how it happened with aang like maybe the last few months of his life he just physically aged like 30 years wouldn’t that be weird (and sad)

4. i mentioned this before but i’ve seen posts like “its sad to think about the fact that aang probably had to bury appa” and NO i refuse to believe that esp appa bc i thought an avatars spirit animal lives as long as the avatar? like roku’s dragon lived and died with him so that’s what happened with appa too. also momo, i’ve decided

5. kinda.............weird how learning the avatar state was like one of THE main problems in atla and aang had a hard time with it and it was considered this awesome power that we didn’t see that often and the in the legend of korra she just.......................gets it. like aang gives her her bending back and oh here’s the full power of the avatar state as well no need to learn about the chakras and meditate on life or whatever hey also have some energy bending as well why not

6. lin beifong is literally so hot 

7. also in the legend of korra, bending isn’t as cool.. like in atla bending has all the beautiful forms and its like a dance or an art like that dance aang and katara did was based on their bending moves!!! and tlok isn’t like that and they try to spin it like “oh its modern now” but that’s just lazy and  boring

8. also (that one video explained this better than i could) while it’s kind cool to see the new technology mixed with the bending at first, the legend of korra is so much more american than atla, like i can see how a city with all those cultures mixed together might be a bit culturally ambiguous but like....... idk they talk about democracy in a weird way and they literally got the statue of liberty type thing going on (although i love every reference to aang i can get) and idk how to describe it. the bending is like this too where it used to be based off of hung ga kung fu or��tai chi chuan now it’s just ..........boxing. i’ve seen some people say it’s because its easier to animate but like idk

8.5 oh also the whole good and bad evil spirit thing goin on (i forgot their names i think the good one was raava?) was really like god and satan smelling even though they tried to paint it as yin and yang idk it just didn’t come off like that

9. speaking of animation while i am desperate for new material can they NOT MAKE ANOTHER LIVE ACTION VERSION like........make a NEW STORY or maybe just DON’T with how korra turned out just like.....focus on the goddamn comics bc those are kinda fun and chill

10. bolin is pretty funny but him and mako and even asami are kinda boring im sorry but they are(asami is more interesting than mako though)

11. also fucked up how like the culture that was the most accepting and peaceful and spiritual and kind is the one that we never fuckin see this isn’t really a complaint about the plot just like it fuckin sucks!!! i would have loved to see some gay and funny air nomads

12. also maybe this is just bc im a big dumb fan but i refuse to believe aang was a bad father like maybe he didn’t divide his time in the best way but hey no one’s perfect and kya esp made it clear she wasn’t interested in air nomad culture so like what was he supposed to do ALSO SORRY BUT HE HAD TO LITERALLY BUILD A WORLD OUT OF 100 YEARS OF WAR AND REBUILD HIS CULTURE OUT OF NEXT TO NOTHING LIKE SORRY HE DIDN’T HAVE TIME TO TAKE YOU FISHING OR WHATEVER 

13. i do love kya though bc lesb 

14. THAT ONE LINE IN TLOK THAT WAS LIKE “ZUKO KNEW AANG BETTER THAN ANYBODY”??????? LIKE OF COURSE THEY WERE VERY COURSE BUT KATARA IS RIGHT THERE???? HELLO???

15. bc im a big dumb stupid idiot every character i get attached too i immediately insist that they can sing bc i’ve always wanted a really good singing voice so i’ve decided that aang is just like, a great singer

16. god i just love momo

17. UHHH I’M CURRENTLY READING THE WIKI AND IT SAYS THAT KYOSHI LIVED TO BE 230??? THAT’S COOL????? 

18. i’ve said it before and i’ll say it again, air nomad avatars are just cooler bc of their fuckin tattoos. when those tattoos glow? fuckin tight. korras just got her eyes and like.......where’s the drama and conflama 

19. while the spirit world can be interesting idk how i feel about the spirits in the legend of korra, like all cutesy and weird like that, like i don’t hate it, it’s just really different from atla spirit world and idk

20. i’ve always been curious about aangs tattoos like,,,, the ones on his arms go into his armpit, but like the one on his back? does that just go all the way to his ass or what? and where do the leg ones stop do they connect with the back ones or just go to the hip bones or idk

21. i wanted a detailed map and description and history of air temple island and i want it now

22. while i know that extensive and unnecessary backstory and weigh a good story down WHO ARE AANGS PARENTS, I’M JUST CURIOUS. LIKE WERE THEY EVER TOLD HE WAS THE AVATAR?

23. i will defend aang until the day i die bc he was so young and so good and even the stuff he did selfishly he has like ample reason to can u imagine being twelve and waking up and realizing that not only are you the only person left of your race and culture and history and that everyone you knew and loved, like even people you didn’t really know but the people who you would smile too sometimes, the all died pretty violent and horrible deaths while you were just stuck in some ice bc you got hit by some storm after running away can u imagine???? ALSO LIKE the world hadn’t had an avatar for a century so he had to just like make shit up as he went along of course he could talk to his past lives but like..........idk!!!! and how do you build up

24. I ALREADY SAID THIS BUT KORRA JUST..........GETS THE POWERS. LIKE WE SAW AANG NOT ONLY LEARN THE ELEMENTS BUT ALSO DEAL WITH LEARNING ABOUT THE AVATAR STATE IN DEPTH AND HOW BEING THE AVATAR WORKS AND IT WAS SPECIAL AND INTERESTING AND WE COULD HAVE SEEN KORRA WORK TO GET HER AIRBENDING POWERS AND HER SPIRITUAL SIDE AND HER AVATAR STATE BUT THEY WERE ALL JUST FUCKIN HANDED TO HER EVEN THE E N E R G Y BENDING LIKE COME ON................................................................GIRL WHOS WRITING THIS

25. real disrespectful how much sokka is neglected in tlok!!! smh

26. this is very important to me but my favorite episode (not really including the last ones bc those are just on a dif level) but my favorite episode is 3x2 The Headband which was the footloose ep if you don’t remember..........it’s just fun............he just wants to dance AND HE WAS FUCKIN MACKIN YOU SEE THAT SHIT?????????? “DON’T WORRY ABOUT THEM IT’S JUST YOU AND ME NOW” LIKE BITCH!!!! YOU’RE TWELVE YOU HAVE NO BUSINESS BEIN THAT SMOOTH also i LOOOOOOVE the fact that aang being a good dancer is literally canon....................

27. i literally never wanted to know how the avatar cycle started like don’t explain the magic like that just leave some mystery

[sueboohscorner]

The Vampire Diaries 814 Recap “It’s Been a Hell of a Ride” #TVD #KilltheDevil

Episode grade: 10. Pure perfection. 

All week long, I was both looking forward to and dreading Friday night, because one of my all-time favorite shows is coming to an end…but man, it’s going out strong.

We start with Cade menacing Damon for another crappy deal (all Cade’s deals suck, because he is literally the devil). This time, Cade wants his dagger back–you know, the one thing that could kill him. And of course, Damon’s going to play along, because Cade has Elena’s coffin, delivered helpfully by Kai. 

Elsewhere, Bonnie’s throwing herself into the beautiful pocket dimension she’s able to access, in which she and Enzo can be together. Stefan ignores the “if my dreamland’s a-knockin’” sign and starts bugging her with his guilty conscience. She’s all, Not my problem, brah, and I don’t blame her a bit. Enzo’s a little more forgiving, though, and he urges her to let Stefan off the hook.

Rebuffed by Bonnie and continuing to wallow in his self-pity, Stefan is about to bail on everyone. He agrees to put his broody walkabout on hold when Damon asks him to help get Elena back from Cade. First step: Find Kai Parker.

TVD, I love you. I love you for so many things over the last eight years, but right now, I love you for making time in your final episodes for the delightful insanity of Kai Parker doing karaoke, tweeting (under the amazing handle CobraKai1972) in what can only be described as (ahem) presidential fashion, and hilariously refusing to pronounce Stefan’s name correctly.

Stefan gets stabbed through the hand (this is important), but Damon steps in to take Kai down. They drag Kai into the Armory and toss him in a cell. Alaric is gravely displeased at having his archenemy back under his roof. Of course, Alaric has other things on his mind right now; his daughters have been going all Firestarter.

With Kai stashed away, and the devil dagger in hand, Damon and Stefan head out to find Cade. At the last minute, Stefan insists he has to be the one to kill Cade, because atonement yadda yadda. Damon rationally points out that hey, I’m still a vampire, and you’re not, so of the two of us, I’ve got a much better chance at actually pulling this off. But Stefan is determined to be the hero, so he actually vervains Damon, and OMG Stefan you selfish jackass. Here’s where Stefan’s hand injury is an issue for me. He’s not only mortal, he’s got a freshly maimed stabbing hand. He’s refusing help killing the devil when he’s not even at full strength for a human. 

To be fair, he does have something of a plan…he’s tasked Alaric with ringing the Maxwell hell bell. Since Alaric isn’t part of the Maxwell family line, he won’t be able to access the bell’s full power, but Stefan correctly guesses that the bell’s ringing will at least cause Cade some pain. (I’m choosing to ignore the minor plot hole about how the bell was deconstructed and taken away, yet is now back in the tower. I mean, Bonnie and Enzo had it with them, but her house was stolen from her, so it’s not a safe place anymore…and I am pretty sure Peter Maxwell had taken another component of the bell with him when he left town…but you know what? Screw it. Given the choice between expository dialogue about the bell or Kai Parker singing “Knockin’ on Heaven’s Door” at karaoke, I'll pick the latter every time.)

Speaking of our favorite evil scion of the Gemini coven, Kai and Caroline are having a heart-to-heart about her daughters, who are also, of course, Kai’s nieces. They’re siphons, just like him, and he offers Caroline a personal perspective on the crazy crap her kids are pulling lately. He tells her about growing up a magic-siphoning abomination, treated with disdain and fear, an embarrassment to his magical royal family. Being shut away and ignored, watching as his twin sister was nurtured in her gifts. Occasionally getting a blast of magic when he was able to siphon it from someone or something, and feeling like a druggie the rest of the time, desperate for more. It’s a powerful monologue, subtle and intense, and Caroline is as captivated as the audience is.

Then Kai explains that the reason her kids are suddenly out of control is that they’ve been dumped into an environment so full of magical artifacts, they simply can’t be expected to control their siphoning. He says a place like the Armory practically has magic in its walls…and then he demonstrates by siphoning the very glass that separates him from Caroline. Kai is out, loose in the Armory.

Right now, Alaric is dutifully ringing the hell bell, and it’s basically doing what Stefan thought. Cade is vulnerable, and Stefan’s got a shot here…until Alaric’s phone rings. Josie and Lizzie are calling for their daddy, because Kai is coming after them with an axe. Alaric walks away from the bell without a second glance, and Cade’s back on his feet.

Cade’s about to kill Stefan, but here comes Damon to save the day. Except that Cade already has the dagger now, and he still has Elena, and now he has Stefan as well. Damon has no leverage in this situation. Cade laughs that he’ll give Damon this much: Damon can choose whether it will be Stefan or Elena who dies today. Damon can’t accept this choice, so he asks Cade to take him instead. Cade agrees, requiring Damon to stake himself. Stefan, you know this is your fault, right?

Bonnie feels the psychic ripples of the danger to Elena, and she follows the feeling to where Cade is about to collect Damon’s soul. Bonnie says, Oh hell no, and she and Cade get into a psychic battle. The beauty of a psychic battle is that the opponents are too busy to do anything else…leaving Cade far more vulnerable to attack. Stefan finally does something right, and the devil is dead. 

Back at the Armory, Kai’s stalking the girls, because not being the only surviving member of the Gemini coven is kind of a sore spot for him. He follows their voices into the Siren cave, then siphons away the magical wall Beatrice Bennett put up so long ago…except he hasn’t found the girls, he’s found Ric, pulling a pretty neat trick with his phone on speaker. Ric gets in a good punch or two, but he’s a little outgunned under the circumstances. Fortunately, Caroline is awake from Kai’s neck-snap nap, and she saves the day.

Damon, magically blown back into his body by Bonnie’s psychic rage storm, is able to convince Stefan to stick around and not be a self-pitying jackass for a few minutes. I mean, we’ll see how long before the full-bore brooding starts back up, but for now, Stefan is able to appreciate the miracle of the life he almost lost…presumably because they’re all operating with the belief that killing the devil also destroyed hell, so they’re no longer living with damnation hanging over them. Funny how Stefan is suddenly less ravaged by guilt now that he thinks he’ll escape punishment. He proposes to Caroline all over again, and she says yes, even though she and Ric seemed to be having a moment, and Ric is so totally the better man on every level.

(Also, Stefan is all excited about the future he sees as possible now, and he’s yammering about how great it will be to grow old and help raise kids, and be with his best friend? What best friend? He doesn’t mean Caroline, because he listed her separately in the marriage portion of the speech, and he doesn’t mean Damon, because he has always consistently called Damon his brother. Lexi’s dead, and that’s the only best friend I was aware of…I’m confused.)

Kai awakens, chained to a chair, in the karaoke dive bar from earlier. The delightful 90’s song, “Two Princes,” is starting up. Kai clearly doesn’t like this song as much as I do. Bonnie relishes the moment as she fills Kai in on his new normal: He’s in a new prison dimension, built to approximate his personal idea of suffering. All alone, no magic to siphon, no tricky escape hatches to work on, with a song he hates that will never stop playing.

But Kai has a parting gift for Bonnie, too: the truth about hell. Killing the devil didn’t destroy hell; sure, Cade created hell, but perhaps it took on a life of its own, nourished by the imaginations of all the people who feared it. Or perhaps a pocket dimension simply doesn’t exist in the head or at the whim of its creator; maybe, once created, it’s a true place that can’t be unmade so easily. If the latter, I would like to point out that Bonnie’s new pocket dimension is not simply a place to keep Enzo safe; it might be the place where all her loved ones can spend eternity–the new version of the Other Side!

But I digress. Kai’s revelation to Bonnie continues: Hell is still very much a real place, and there’s someone else who was waiting for Cade to be deposed so that they could step into the top dog spot. Gee, who else do we know who was that bad? Who absolutely went to hell, rather than to the Other Side? 

You got it.

Granted, this raises another question about how bad someone had to be to wind up in hell rather than the Other Side–remember that Silas was on the Other Side, and he was as bad as they come! But that’s a minor aside, and I’m more than okay with it. Katherine is coming back to remind us why she’s “the baddest bitch of them all,” and I can’t think of a more fitting story arc to carry us into the bittersweet ending of this gorgeous series.

Finally, can we talk about the gift to villainy and television and acting that was Chris Wood's portrayal of Kai Parker?

I don’t know that I’ve ever enjoyed a villain more. Chris Wood is masterful, chilling and hilarious by turns, impossible not to pay attention to every moment he’s on screen. I don’t like Kai, obviously, but I love having Kai around. With every other villain we’ve had on TVD, I’ve been thrilled to see them breathe their last. By the time our heroes vanquished the Travelers, or Silas, or fricking awful Julian, I was cheering to have them gone. With Kai, even though he’s terrible, even though it’s clearly good that they’ve bested him!, I’m sorry to see him go.

[makeste]

BnHA Chapter 275: YAAAAY but Also AHHHHH

Previously on BnHA: Endeavor was all “I’M FIGHTING TOMURA AND YOU CAN’T STOP ME” and set everything on fire. Unlike SOME people, however, it turns out fire is NOT Tomura’s weakness, so he basically just shrugged it off. But before things could progress any further, AFO was all “psst, go get One for All” and Tomura was all “? One for All?” and Endeavor was all “?? One for All?” and Deku and Kacchan, who were listening in on their earpieces, were all “!!!” Having thus realized that Tomura was targeting him, Deku sped off to lead him somewhere away from the civilians... accompanied by his good friend Bakugou “274 chapters of character development have all been leading up to this” Katsuki. Because like hell are you going to have an EPIC BATTLE with the FINAL VILLAIN without him, you damn nerd. Who’s he going to heroically sacrifice himself for if you’re not there?? Hahh!?

Today on BnHA: Deku and Kacchan fly off to battle Tomura after confusing Endeavor into giving them his location (which wasn’t very hard lmao). En route, Deku finally thinks to ask Kacchan why he’s tagging along, and Kacchan is all “DON’T GET ME WRONG, IT’S JUST BECAUSE I WANT REVENGE ON TOMURA, AND DEFINITELY NOT BECAUSE I CARE ABOUT YOU AT ALL, HOW DARE YOU, WHY WOULD YOU EVEN SAY THAT”, which is super convincing and didn’t make me roll my eyes at all. Anyways so then Tomura shows up and is all “EYO TIME TO KILL YOU NOW” and Deku and Kacchan are all “OH SFFKDFK”, but fortunately Gran shows up to save them in the nick of time, because BnHA is literally the only shounen manga in which grown-ups will see kids trying to lead a battle and be like “lol wtf” and actually try to stop that shit instead of being all “what are your orders, children.” The chapter then ends with the heroes doing EXACTLY WHAT THEY SHOULD BE DOING??Namely, having the guy who can TURN OFF QUIRKS battle the guy with the ultimate death quirk! I’m so proud. But also I swear to god, if Tomura so much as breathes suspiciously in his direction...!! What the fuck. HORIKOSHI.

y’all what in the fresh hell is this bs

not yet there isn’t son but if you keep trolling like this I can give your nervous system something to actually be nervous about

anyway. this was his comment from last week’s issue of Jump, and I have absolutely no idea what it’s referring to, is the fun part! did he cry because of something he was working on in a chapter that’s coming up? or is he just tired from a combination of stressful mangaka schedule + 2020 in general?? or hell, for all I know he just recently watched Titanic or some shit

(ETA: KILLING AIZAWA SHOUTA WOULDN’T MAKE SOMEONE CRY OUT OF JOY, THOUGH. RIGHT?!)

anyways I guess it’s time to read and see if I feel like sadly happily crying for two hours afterward

-- oh shit I just realized there are two scanlations out for this?? one from readjump.com, and one from readheroacademia.com. lol now what. uhhh

lulzes. I guess I’ll go with RHA for now and keep checking back to RJ after each page and I’ll go with whichever translation I liked better

LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, OUR MILLENNIAL VILLAIN

or would he actually be gen z. he was already in his twenties when this manga started like six years ago, so I’m going with millennial. but on the cusp though I guess. anyway, he plays video games though is the point

and I see he’s already decided to contradict me and my inane speculations not two panels in! I GUESS I AM JUST A FOOL. that’s really interesting though. I wonder if it’s just Monoma’s quirk that doesn’t take the accumulated “save data” from the people he copies from, then? guh. how many of my AFO/OFA theory notes do I have to scrap now

and there’s a little quirk blurb about Search, which is fairly useless given that we already know how it works (actually in even greater detail than shown here), but at least it comes with a cute little picture of Ragdoll in her hero costume, to make us all sad and stuff

so anyways Tomura who are you looking at?? this was a topic of some contention last week! also why were you only seeing nine people then. Ragdoll had seen everyone in 1-A along with Aizawa and her fellow Pussycats at a minimum, so is this confirmation that Tora and Mandalay and Pixie-Bob are all really dead then, because I CAN AND WILL HUNT DOWN A MAN AND MAKE HIM CRY FOR A GOOD DEAL LONGER THAN TWO HOURS IF THAT’S REALLY THE CASE. was Kouta not traumatized enough already?? LET’S JUST ORPHAN HIM AGAIN WHY NOT THAT’S A GOOD PLAN

(ETA: I really hate that we are still up in the air regarding this? and I mean, sure, why not, we only had like a dozen lady heroes to begin with, so why not just kill off two more of them, offscreen, in one fell swoop??)

WHAT IS A SHAME. TOMURA. DAMN IT

(ETA: ??)

-- well hello there

OR MAYBE I WAS NOT A FOOL AT ALL?? lol guys. please do not tell me my hobo husband is flying his vengeful ass over to where Tomura all heedless of the danger because I really do not need that just yet. CAN MY FAVORITE CHARACTERS PLEASE FUCKING TAKE TURNS BEING IN TERRIBLE DANGER INSTEAD OF ALL AT ONCE

sob we’re cutting back to Endeavor and Deku and Kacchan. ACTUALLY THAT’S GOOD THOUGH why am I complaining. I’m just gonna have to get used to the fact that no one is going to truly be safe for the next god knows however many chapters, and make my peace with that. hahaha. yeah right

lmao Deku. “HEY WHAT’S UP, ME AND MY FELLOW CHILD HERE ARE GONNA LURE SHIGARAKI TOWARDS US, BUT WE’LL EXPLAIN OUR REASONS FOR THAT LATER. IF YOU SEE HIM MAKING ANY SUDDEN MOVEMENTS PLEASE INFORM US SO AS TO AID US IN THIS PLAN.” Endeavor if you just go along with this I will lose so much respect for you lmao

lol he is trying to argue a bit but then he’s suddenly cutting off. so in hindsight I don’t know why I said “lol”, really. I’M JUST NERVOUS OKAY

btw in the other translation Deku straight up asks if Endeavor can redirect Tomura towards them. “sure no problem bucko, let me just tell the walking apocalypse exactly where he can find you, my two sixteen-year-old interns whose safety I am responsible for. I was just thinking to myself that I hadn’t had my fill of crazy ill-thought-out plans with a high risk of death today”

holy --

okay I have not the SLIGHTEST clue what’s going on here, even after analyzing both scans, except that someone, probably Tomura, either just went CRONCH or just GOT cronched just now lmao. let us read on to find out who was cronched and who did the cronching

the rest of this page is not really much more helpful

but I am becoming increasingly suspicious that those were in fact Tomura’s new, improved and ridiculously thicc legs doing the cronching as he did a Marvel Superhero Landing from the most RIDICULOUS ANGLE POSSIBLE

LMAO NOW WHAT

so he just cronched onto the ground and fooshed Endeavor and then went flying off again huh

LMAO AT EVERYTHINNNNNG

THANK YOU ENJI. HE’LL LURE HIM AWAY. lols WHY THE FUCK DID YOU TELL THEM WHICH WAY HE WAS HEADED YOU BOOB

he really just fucking hung up on him afterwards too. just, “got it thanks amigo just leave everything to me, [CLICK]”

OH MY GOD

BECAUSE WE CAN’T HAVE ANYONE ELSE CONVENIENTLY INTERFERING WHEN YOU HAVE YOUR LITTLE THROWDOWN OF DESTINY HUH. THAT WOULD JUST BE TERRIBLE

-- oh shit

that’s just. a SLIGHT change in meaning, there. silly me. thinking “get rid of them” meant “get rid of their communications as opposed to FUCKING KILLING THE ONE YOU’RE NOT ACTUALLY AFTER. hmm. well that’s not good

(ETA: never have I been so happy that a translation was wrong lmao.)

so now Endeavor’s shouting at everyone else that Tomura is heading southwest and that he has “SUPER REGENARTION” (sic) and is no longer THE SAME THUG HE WAS BEFORE and yeah RHA you have officially won me over, flaws and all. listen up boyos. this ain’t your granddaddy’s Shigaraki Tomura. this one regenars

also “that damn kid...” like why the hell did my son have to go and befriend two protagonists. why is this my life now

AHAHAHAHA

“MIDORIYA IS IN DANGER...!!” STORY OF THIS MANGA. AHAHA. KACCHAN HE’S COMING. HE’S COMING, KACCHAN. for you two. someone please help me I am both terrified and thrilled beyond all recognition and my body doesn’t know how to handle the conflicting emotions. honestly crying for two hours is starting to sound more and more appealing

oh my god I forgot they didn’t know, though

fff. Kacchan especially didn’t know, because unlike Deku he doesn’t have random bits of other people’s souls going “heyyyyyyy... transcendent being at 12 o’clock.” what has this kid so bravely and stupidly gone and gotten himself into

look at them go

damn Deku can you really not float yet?? that’s going to be really inconvenient if that’s the case

(ETA: my boy really would have just straight up died. he would have died so hard.)

OH MY GOD

NOW YOU WANT TO ASK HIM LMAOOOO. well it’s because of all the character development!! if you must know

THAT’S NOT AN ANSWER BLASTY MCANGERTY

you’re not as smooth as you think you are, you know. we all know why you actually followed him. but fine, be that way

okay so now he’s giving a real-er answer though

“understand the situation”, the situation being that your best friend and his secret-trump-card-in-the-battle-against-evil quirk were being targeted by the guy who just obliterated this entire city. got it. you put it quite succinctly

and Deku is all

and Kacchan is all

love how he throws that protagonist crack in there too. because we all know that Deku absolutely is the protagonist lol, and so if that part’s obviously not true, we can make some inferences about the rest of what he’s saying too now can’t we

ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh snap

YOU SURE DO!! and he does with you too!! :) it’s gonna be one big happy reunion! :) :) :) oh gosh golly

OH NO KATSUKI WHAT ARE YOU DOING

what are you doing to me, I should clarify. please be considerate of my feelings. you can’t just DUMP sudden Kacchan Kamino Angst on me without any warning, you have to let me know in advance so that I can buy some thank you cards

THERE’S MOREEEEE???

YOU REMEMBER TOO, DON’T YOU DEKU. HE WAS ALL CRYING AND STUFF. IT WAS A LOT. IT’S POSSIBLE THAT I HAVE NEVER PERSONALLY GOTTEN OVER IT

AND IT LOOKS LIKE HE NEVER QUITE GOT OVER IT EITHER

:’)

by the way in the other translation he says “I’ll make up for what I did that day.” so yeah. BOOM. right to the heart. shot of me collapsing to the ground in slow motion

but it’s interesting though that he still can’t admit to having selfless motives yet! even after everything he’s been through and all his character growth! he’s still all GET RID OF THE REFERENCES TO ME CARING ABOUT YOU, WE CAN’T LET PEOPLE KNOW WE HAVE FEELINGS

but even his Kamino feels are notably first and foremost about him feeling responsible for failing All Might. so yeah, buddy. where does that leave you? even your feeble excuses are still rooted in selflessness, JUST GIVE IN AND ADMIT YOU’VE BEEN SECRETLY GIVING A SHIT BEHIND EVERYONE’S BACK. and honestly he might be better off at this point if he didn’t! BUT HE DOES. and that’s that

anyways Deku I sure hope you and your big hero brain can see right through this nonsense

god. you’re both in so much danger though, do you even have any idea?! of course you fucking don’t. god

HELLO BAKUGOU NARRATION!?!

well that’s one hell of a rare sight!! all fresh and chock full of shrewd observations about his best rival’s current skillset. ah what a time we’re living in

ooooh

gonna hold off commentary until I read the next part of this lol

OOOOOH

goddamn. Horikoshi really went off this week. just a whole chapter’s worth of Stuff Makeste Really Likes, goddamn is it my birthday or what

so do you guys think he’ll be able to keep pace all the way up to 100%? I can see this part being interpreted in two totally different ways if I’m being honest. on the one hand we have the more pessimistic (some would say realistic) view that Bakugou is desperately trying to convince himself that he’s still on the same level as the rival he so desperately wants to surpass, but with the sinking feeling that he’s actually not going to be able to keep up for much longer. and then on the other side of the coin we have the more glass-half-full perspective that he actually is capable of keeping up with him right to the bitter end. that even as Deku grows stronger, he’ll continue to push himself and use that as motivation to keep getting stronger too. that Deku isn’t out of reach; that his goal isn’t out of reach

and I’m not completely sure which way this is leaning myself! I personally would like to lean more towards the second interpretation, because y’all know I love me some rivals. and also because imo one of the most commendable things about Bakugou’s development has been how he hasn’t once been envious of Deku’s strength or of his position as All Might’s chosen heir since he learned about OFA. he hasn’t once shown any kind of resentment towards him for it, or doubted whether or not he deserves it. and as minor a detail as that may seem to some people, I cherish it. and I don’t want that to change! but I guess we shall see

so now we’re getting the clearest shot we’ve had yet of the new AFO holes in Tomura’s palms as he gets ready to combine some more quirks. also! more information about the quirks he has and is using! fucking thank you, where was this last week

so “radio waves” is clearly going to be used here to disrupt the heroes’ communication, which is a shame for them, but I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t relieved given the alternative! the RJ translation is clearly just a hot mess lol. but I still adore that one “I’ll make up for what I did” line though

WOW

THE DISRESPECT. LOL DID YOU JUST FUCKING KILL HIS ASS

(ETA: I just realized he’s nowhere to be found after this, though, so... did he?? or is he now lying somewhere now all wounded and waiting to be found by one, or, dare I say, two of his sons? ...)

LKDFJLSDKGHOSIDGHOISDflkwejfdfsdklggdflgnfdlgndakgalkgldfdfkwlfwiowelKLDSGKSL:DKGJL:DKFM?G?SGSDLKG?SDFSDF??LKJ@L!

HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT

HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT

even if you ask him nicely??! somehow I just can’t help feeling that he probably shouldn’t oblige you, though!?!?!

anyways. THAT AIN’T SAFE. and what the hell is happening in that bottom left corner ahhhhhh

AHHHHHHH

GRAN DM ME YOUR ADDRESS I WANT TO SEND YOU SOME FLOWERS AND A BASKET OF FRUIT AND CRACKERS AND SOME LITTLE CHEESES AND SAUSAGES

jesus christ it completely slipped my mind that there was one other person currently in the vicinity who knows about OFA. my good sir, maybe you would like to introduce these two dunderfucks to the concept of a “plan.” and maybe you can also find the single shared braincell they apparently dropped and lost somewhere back there in all the city rubble

oh fuck me

(ETA: does Kacchan look so rattled here because he is being lectured, or because he just saw a vision of his own death and is now having it explained to him just how close he came to being decomposed. you decide! I’ll just sit here and bask in the angst.)

fuck. main character gods were really working overtime here. anyways so how are you all doing this fine Friday afternoon. me, I’m just sitting here wrangling with the knowledge that Tomura’s quirk is even deadlier than I realized, and that my two little boys came within inches of dying horrible deaths just now. but anyways it’s not as humid today as it was yesterday so that’s really nice

anyways so now Gran is continuing to lecture the mayor of Dumb Ideas Town here, along with his friend the deputy mayor who still thinks he outranks the actual mayor

SHH NOW AND LISTEN TO YOUR GRANDPA

-- ohhhh shit son are they mounting a counterattack?? don’t tell me!!

also is Gran seriously faster than Tomura. that makes no fucking sense, and yet these two are only alive now because of it so I’M SURE NOT GONNA QUESTION IT

YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

AND IS AIZAWA ON HER BACK THOUGH???

AHAHHAHAHAHAHA

AH, BUT IT AIN’T GONNA WORK THOUGH, IS IT!!! AHAHAHA YESSSSSS

excellent question sir. the short answer is “they’re idiots”, and the long answer is just a longer version of “they’re idiots” but with some more complicated BakuDeku feels mixed in. I’ll tell you all about it if you just promise me that you’ll actually live through this, all right?

“is he after the two of them?” listen boy if you don’t finally put two and two together after this I’m gonna be fucking beside myself lol. (though honestly, Deku and Kacchan have been targeted by the League so many other times already that he might just simply accept “yeah they’re after them again” without any further explanation)

my dear gentlefolk would you fucking look at how the lord has blessed us on this day

Aizawa Fucking Shouta and the motherfucking dramatic intro to end all dramatic intros. finally this man gets his moment

someone please teach me how to cast a force field. teach me how to reach into the manga and slap this man and tell him to stop talking about how everyone’s noble sacrifices to protect him and his eraser quirk have led him to this day and to this one encounter. my guy. my fucking dude. THERE HAD BETTER BE SUBSEQUENT ENCOUNTERS AFTER THIS

NOOOOOOOOOOOO

ISN’T HE THOUGH??? Tomura I love you sweetie but you better BACK THE FUCK. OFF

well FINE THEN! BE THAT WAY. it’s not like my life revolves around you and your stupid manga anyway!! it’s not like I’m obsessed with it or anything!! I have other hobbies!! well I actually do have other hobbies, so that doesn’t really work as sarcasm, so let’s see though. maybe something more like, “this isn’t by far my favorite out of all my hobbies!!” I don’t spend 80-90% of my free time on any given day either actively or passively daydreaming about this series and writing essays in my head and reading fanfic and scrolling through art on tumblr!! etc.!! whatever!! enjoy your break!! have fun living your life!!

please don’t kill Aizawa