#hey Ladies and Others ;-)
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bttf au where they send Jennifer (criminally underused) to retrieve the sports almanac to avoid the tremendous problem of Marty accidentally meeting himself, which instead causes some tremendous other problems
#the other tremendous problem is marty running after her going 'HEY WHAT THE FUCK' and almost missing his flight back to 1985#back to the future#marty mcfly#jennifer parker#look bttf is a perfect movie i genuinely think#but bttf2 and 3 for sure arent because they HAD jennifer right there and then DIDNT USE HER#and while i prefer the original actress the lady they recast in the 2nd movie was so good with her physical comedy#anyway there is most of an au developing in my head. marty has an extremely bad time (he's dead for a good chunk lmao)#also jennifer in cute 1950s clothes :) tho she can't do her hair 50s style she has some degree of 80s teenage pride#didn't think i'd hyperfixate on bttf and i've tried to stave it off for like two months but. dude im in#drawings#jennifer parker versus the present
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ladies, I need to wander despondently across a foggy moor asap
#*this also applies to the not-ladies among us#y'all deserve a good pensive ramble across a moor in a really cool greatcoat#just be sure you don't turn it into anything vigorous#this is not the time to be Aragorn we are looking for Jonathan Harker pre-Dracula at best#in regards to the moor: a wind-swept cliffside would also be suffice#it would NOT do wonders for my health of course but hey#fortunately the bestie and I have plans to go hiking next weekend and if we don't have another option I'm gonna beg for the hemlock trail#I'd also take the cedar springs#I just need Nature that isn't the beach#in other news I am happy to report that the week is smoothing itself out somewhat#we're all still on edge but it's not as bad as it was and we've effectively kicked loose the pebble in the the shoe#my darling sister sent me a gift and told me to treat myself so I may get bubble tea after work#and I begged for tomorrow off so I can sleep and then spend the day coughing in peace#(this is such a bizarre cold. I didn't get any of the preliminaries outside of some sneezing)#(and then it was straight to my chest. not even a sore throat first! usually I get a lot of build up and can often get ahead of a bad cough#(thankfully my nose is not congested. I suppose that's the trade-off)#so I'll sleep in and then I may sort some of the filing I'm taking home from the office#by then I'll likely have completely lost my voice#AND I have ingredients for chili because for once I planned ahead. might even make some of my favorite rolls as well.#and then next week...I start a second job#(super simple and it's 2 hours max every evening. once I figure it out it could be an hour tops unless I decide to take it slow)#(the pay is great for the job and it'll give me something to do instead of just...I dunno...reading through the winter I suppose)#(sorry my head is in such a fog I don't know how I'm surviving work)#mine#greatest hits
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Part 1 / Part 2
Emmet remembers when he and Ingo first brought Elesa to explore Celestial Tower, back when they were fourteen and thought they were immortal.
“Allegedly, the bell chime will bring ghosts home”, ingo had told emmet with the pompous knowing energy of a child who read way too much brochures. “It’s culturally significant! We must ring it.”
“Hmmm,” emmet had responded suspiciously. “Brother. The bell is at the top of the tower.” The implication stands: Ingo, there are thirty flights of stairs between here and the top, and no elevator to speak of.
Don’t be a coward, Litwick had told Emmet with the blaise tone of somebody who’s going to be piggy backing off of somebody else. Go ring the bell. Tynamo, sensing a litten fight, floated towards a loitering blitzle.
Ingo turns his lilipup eyes on Elesa, who’s squinting at the carved stone faces of the front door.
“Elesa? What do you think?”
Elesa thinks. She shrugs. “We already made our way here,” she said in accented galarian. “Might as well make it the rest of the way. Ganbatte!”
Emmet sighs. “This is a mistake,” he tells the two in exhaustive patience, but lets himself be dragged into the building.
Last time the twins were here, Ingo caught litwick— but not before she managed to nab a good chunk of Emmet’s soul. It’s not terrible; he felt fatigued for a week and bounced back pretty quickly, but it was the principle of the whole situation— celestial tower’s a pain in the ass and Emmet will stand by that until the day he dies.
Like right now.
The map isn’t working. Emmet checked it once. He’s checked it twice. He’s taken out his pen and written on it, which he would usually never do but desperate times call for desperate measures. The compass he brought spins useless circles. It’s like chargestone cave up here, but worse because instead if electric pokemon it’s all ghosts.
“We’re lost, yyup yup!” He announced to the crew. “I vote we eat Ingo first.”
“I love you too,” Ingo told Emmet placidly. “But we all know between the two of us, you’re the tastier one.” Litwick gives Emmet a thumbs up. Emmet gasps in mock affront.
“Elesa, help!”
Elesa gives the two of them a wary look. It took two floors for her to realize this is not just a weird temple with strange rocks, but a full out graveyard. She’s not very happy about that development.
“Don’t drag me into this,” she tells them. “Teme wa urusaii.”
“I will take that as a compliment,” Ingo reports back.
Emmet, who’s cheerfully struggles with Galarian on a good day, simply gives her a thumbs up.
The three painstakingly crawl their way up. And up. If all else fails, Emmet told himself, at least they can orient themselves towards high ground.
“We’re like pidoves,” Ingo gasps. He has fallen behind them on the stairs, with Emmet taking the lead through sheer spite despite his legs going numb on floor twenty two. “We, hah, we are attracted by the magnet of the bell, like, like probopass-“
“I am emmet! You are not making, sense!” Emmet called back. Elesa, who’s stuck between them and looking two steps from perpetual collapse, giggles.
“No, no hear me out, Ingo wheezes. “What if the bell’s a magnetic pole? And that’s why your compass doesn’t wo, woo, hahh, work.”
Emmet stops to rest, just because Ingo is using precious breathing air to infodump. Elesa gratefully slumps against the railing. Tynamo and litwick, lazy in their still small size, have settled on a weary blitzle and look very smug doing so. (Emmet is not jealous, he tells himself. Emmet is also lying.)
“The bell’s important,” Ingo had repeated.
“Okay,” Elesa responds. “If it’s important to you, then it’s important to us.”
And Emmet finds that he agrees with Elesa. Partially because they crawled up twenty fucking three flights of stairs, but also because Ingo thinks this is important, so it is.
And here’s the thing—
— emmet doesn’t remember much after that.
The rest of that trip was a blur of exhausted groaning and burning legs, and by the time the trio managed to breach floor thirty, people’s brains have all but dribbled out their ears. Emmet remembers being disgustingly sweaty. He remembers blitzle almost tripping to death and litwick’s swearing. He remembers tynamo sticking to his neck like a damp towel. He remembers Ingo’s excited sneasel smile, and the way the sunset bounced off of Elesa’s hair.
He remembers the brassy ring of the Celestial bell. It sounded like victory.
But it was Elesa’s cackle turned scream as Ingo swiped cold hands down her neck that sounded like home.
—-
So when the conductor at thirty one, lost and disoriented in the Impossible Place, heard the sound of a familiar bell, ringing over and over and over-
-the sound of laughter-

-EMMET! Elesa cried-

-like a homing pidove, the conductor, thinks nonsensically as something in him perks up.
(Emmet had always liked winning, more than anything else, and the sound of victory calls him home.)
—
Elesa catches lightning in a bottle. Elesa, arms outstretched, finds purchase in her brother, and does not let go.
Emmet is so, so cold, Elesa thinks as the wind steals air from her lungs. (That’s okay. She’s already breathless from a terrible business called hope.)
Emmet stares back. His hands flap against Elesa’s jacket. Elesa desperately drinks in his wan face and too wide eyes and his frost bitten lips. In a tiny, meek voice, almost lost to the wind, he asks:
“Are you real?”
Elesa lets out an ugly sob. Her tears whip away in the wind as they fall. Emmet’s frightened countenance turns immediately to alarm. His shaky grasp becomes a solid grip as they spin through the air, cushioned by chandelure’s psychic.

“I think so??” Elesa warbles. She sees Emmet’s eyes dart to her mouth. He’s reading mirroring her, she realizes with giddy delight— it’s such an Emmet thing to do, to read lips, and-
“I am Emmet,” Emmet breathes. His eyes have started to water. “Yyou are Elesa- Oh dragons, Elesa!?“
Elesa reaches. Hesitates.

Emmet grabs elesa by the lapels and crushes her tight against him. Elesa holds on, and the grief and relief in her accumulates into a wet sopping mess. She’s ruining his jacket, she mourns, but its okay because he’s dripping all over hers.
She can’t hear what he’s saying into her shoulder, can’t read what he says, but everything’s okay because every part of her is chiming
You came back
You’re here

I’m not alone anymore.
Around them, the air distorts as Chandelure’s psychic wavers, flutters, and solidifies. Gravity reverses its call as they settle gently on the ground, dust billowing in all directions.
The ghost pokemon drops next to them, shaking so hard the musical clang of glass makes Elesa flinch.
You fucks, Chandelure gasps. DON’T GO LEAPING OFF BUILDINGS, I AM NOT YOUR EMERGENCY PARACHUTE.

“I’m sorry,” Elesa gasps, still giddy from the adrenaline.
AND YOU! Chandelure howls, whirling on Emmet, who’s still staring at the ghost with huge eyes. He’s gripping on to solid ground with the energy of a man who realized he could have been a splat on the ground.
YOU LEFT!
Emmet winces.

You- You left us, you left me-
Ah, ah no, Elesa thinks as golden globules of light shed from Chandelure. This is what a ghost looks like crying.
Emmet holds out his arms. Chandelure drifts into his embrace, and shakes, and shakes, and shakes.
You left me, the ghost pokemon whispers. How dare you. How could you.
“I didn’t mean to,” Emmet whispers. “I’m sorry.”

Stop doing this to me, Chandelure demands. Golden brine joins human tears, like drops of sun trapped in wet glass. Stop going where I can not follow.
And Emmet holds his tongue, because he knows he can not promise staying. Not while Ingo and Eelektross are still in Hisui.
(In the back of Emmet’s hurt and shattered mind is a spark. Synapses connect. The cold breach of the Distortion does nothing to drown out the sudden flare of hope in Emmet’s chest, so great he can not breathe, so strong he can not feel, because there’s a path. A difficult, painful path through the Space that Can Not Be, but a path all the same.)
“Elesa, Chandelure-“ Emmet’s voice breaks. He wants to tell them about Eelektross. He wants to tell them about the terrible past that is Hisui. He wants to explain how the last five months were filled with horror and wonder and fear and hope.
Hope, he thinks. So he says this:
“I know how to get Ingo home.”
NOTES:
AAAAAND THAT’S ALL FOR THIS DRABBLE. ITS OUT NOW. I CAN FINALLY GO BACK TO POSTING HAPPY SHENANIGANS! (Now you know the shape of their story.)
Thanks for reading this monster of a post!
#salvaging the ship of theseus#submas au#submas#ONCE AGAIN. MAKING THIS EVERYBODYS PROBLEM#hey look i did a funny little callback#remember the celestial tower as a Fun Time?#im about to make it BITTERSWEET.#emmet#elesa#chandelure#ingo#critterbitter screams into the void#critdraws#anyways uHh pls just know stsot is made from my worldbuilding notes#i dont know the shape of its ending yet and things are bound to change (which is why its on this acc instead of critterbitter!#feel free to postulate in the comments tho! i have other drabbles but drawing and writing hard)#((mostly? ingo taking care of the sneaslets. getting harassed by lady sneasler. confusing the local wildlife.))#submas angst#with hopeful end?#submas fanfiction#fanfic#Spotify
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Something I really like about Raph and Leo’s relationship is that Raph noticeably doesn’t hold back with Leo nearly as much as he does with Donnie and Mikey, and it’s really nice to see that from him.
Leo too would frequently fall into a natural strategist and second-in-command role of sorts, often actually giving his worries and thoughts to Raph where he wouldn’t normally.
Then the Shredder happens and this dynamic is thrown into a loop where they both stay solidly in their own camps of “we’re heroes, it’s our duty” and “we’re teens, who cares?” And during this, Raph not holding back from Leo is cranked up to an eleven and Leo flips around to mask more with Raph than he ever had before and deliberately riles Raph up so that fights are all but guaranteed.
Post-invasion, it’s clear they’re (mostly) back to how they were before for the most part, with an added level of respect and maturity (and trauma) there too, and it’s great to see because they’re an amazing duo when they’re on the same wavelength.
#rottmnt#rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles#rottmnt raph#rottmnt leo#I love their dynamic a lot actually#it is funny to see Raph be all ‘hey buddy ☺️’ sometimes to Donnie and Mikey but Leo he’s like nah it’s on sight#and Leo for his part is like okay we should probably not trust the spider lady right Raph? RIGHT Raph??#they work really really well together tbh and cover each others weak points amazingly#strong and defensive Raph and quick and strategic Leo#lethal combo#I could say more but that essay is for another time#codependency mention below /#okay but *eyes my post-invasion codependent Raph & Leo idea because the movie could so easily lead to that*
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Bloofer Lucy: "Of course I love, and hold all of my suitors in my fang- I mean in my non beating heart equally! There is 💕Arthur💕... Jake? Quanxi?"
Lucy, complete with 100+ layers of natural and heavily trained-in politeness: "I love Arthur so much but I hate that I broke anyone else's heart in turning them down for him. I'd marry them too if I could so nobody's feelings were hurt :c"
Bloofer Lady, has 99.99% of those layers sandblasted off with nothing but pure vampiric id impulse left, chucking an entire human child like a used juice box: "It's Arthur! Hi, Arthur! Want to get undead with me right now this second so we can spoon in the tomb? c: ...oh and hey, uh, leftovers. Quiche and...Jimmy? I want to say Jimmy. And the guy with the garlic flower crowns. Whatever. Hi, Arthur! 💕💕💕"
#Miss Bloofer come on now#you couldn't even give them a hello? nothing?#just 'Hey babe ditch these losers so we can get to crypt cuddling?'#like. I get it. but still.#bloofer lady#lucy westenra#arthur holmwood#and some other guys#dracula#re: dracula#dracula daily
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I feel like I would be a horrible mother but then I am the only voice of reason telling my mom “Hey, ask your 7 year old granddaughter before you try hugging and kissing her bc she is obviously annoyed with you right now. Hey no, stop calling it attitude.”
#I’ve been here since I was 12 asking her ‘hey can I get lovins?’ since she could talk#and guess what?#she loves auntie#bc auntie asks if she can give smooches and if she’d like it on the forehead or cheek or just blown at her if she’s overstimulated#and auntie recognizes when playing isn’t fun anymore and stops immediately#and actually tries to fucking communicate with the grade schooler that’s excelling and understands a lot#like lil lady I am so with you. grandma is a bootie. let’s go color in the other room#rant#personal rant
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If this doesn’t inspire you to get passes to just like heaven this friday, we don’t know what will!
About the artist: @makrustic “Hi, I'm Mak! I'm a Landscape/Environmental Pixelartist who's been making squiggly square lines and blocky trees for over 5 years. My works are pixelated love letters to the romantic sceneries that go through our minds every day.”
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SNATCHED! GRABBED EVEN!
Low effort, but I wanna draw more of these dorks.
Archie Refrence:

#KILL. THE PART OF YOU. THAT CRINGES#do things that make you happy!#south park oc#sp oc#jean wellman#my oc stuff#maybe I just wanna see a buff lady and a super responsible man kiss sometimes#maybe - I wanna see that golden retriever and black cat dynamic#MAYBE that childhood best friends to lovers shit got a grip on me#MAAAAAAYBE its the fact that I'm running on 3 hours of sleep#who can say really??#Lulu's professor Kyle design changed my brain forever#oc x canon#i forget to shade her hair and I already merged everything so...#I'm not going back#i was late to the other archie trend#this works tho#(WARNING: silly ass rambling ahead)#i love the idea of them both becoming teachers#Jean works as an elementary school music teacher when she's older#I love the idea of Kyle being an English professor#may perhaps even sneaking kisses in between classes??#helping each other with lesson plans#celebrating when summer comes around and they can both goof off#I've got a few drabbles in my back pocket about it#hey btw you guys have been so nice and sweet with indulging my stuff#it really warms my heart#in ways I can't express ♡#archie comics#sp-growingpains
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"Faugh! Mina is a woman, and they have naught in common! They are Devils of the Pit!"
:)
First time reading: aww, his love for Mina won't allow him to even categorize them as 'women', because she's a woman and she would Never.
Rereading: ...ah. Oh dear. About that.
I do love the foreshadowing in this line. Mina never quite becomes one of these women, but she comes scarily close. They are eager to welcome her, and call her one of them. Jonathan himself is fully willing to change his tune too - should Mina become a devil of the Pit, he'll follow her, rather than the rejection implied here.
Of course it's not full dramatic irony. That would have to be reserved for some kind of Bad End AU where Mina's too far along and ends up joining the vampire ladies/probably killing Van Helsing, but Dracula gets killed too. Then you could actually have a potential end with Jonathan "alone in the castle with those awful women" - but by his own choice this time. The line is still pretty great though.
#dracula daily#dracula daily spoilers#mina murray#jonathan harker#jonmina#vampire ladies#anonymous#replies#that's not a bad end au i've ever seen before but hey. it could actually tie in REALLY well to other stuff as well.#dracula's gone but jonathan is still there taking over as the man in the house fulfilling the hints from the end of june#except mina is the one who takes over as lead vampire which is her fully stepping into his shoes in a kind of ultimate completion of what#happened as she was reading his mind throughout october
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yt reccomended kept giving me witcher analysis videos today, so after work i decided to doodle the grumpy old people for the first time in a good while.
i promise you, maiilys and roche usually are NOT this lovey dovey but. tonight, self-indulgent fluff won.
#the witcher#oc x canon#rochelys#fae art#doodle#vernon roche is such a damn rizzless human being but! hey! he brought flowers this time!#or rather ves pushed them into his hands like 'please. ur embarrassing urself.'#and for once maiilys is not being a pain about it! a win is a win#goodness i love it when old bitter people kinda love each other a little uwu#the flowers are a whole. story with these two#cause they met when they were super young (like in their late teens. maiilys is a year or two older than roche)#during one or the other war campaign and. little man kinda developed a crush on the medic lady#followed her around like a lost puppy#even brought her flowers to fukken propose man#she rejected him outright lol#mainly cause she already was engaged to someone else but also. she was kinda done with the men in her life#didn't need another one to make things complicated.#they kept meeting now and then throughout their lives and. kinda stuck together in the end#most of the time things between them are like 'no one knows what the hell is going on' but sometimes. they can be a little affectionate#uhhh. enjoy the lore dump? :D
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So im gming this pathfinder adventure that prominently features a temple of a god of battle and I was like really struggling with figuring out how to roleplay these acolytes because I don't underSTAND them so in the end I just decided to make them huge losers. I understand huge losers
#It's just like a unique situation like I can understand worshipping a war god in most medieval fantasy situations except that these ones#Dont fight they were all born and raised on an island in the middle of fucking nowhere in a village with 80 people where nothing everhappen#And then they're given the chance to go fight and conquer things but they have to forsake their god for a demon lord and also murder half#Of the other acolytes in the temple and they're just like hell yeah brother let's go#And I was like ohhhhhhh okay so they're just really lame like they're just losers#Especially this one lady who participated in the killing but regrets it a little she just kinda did it cause everybody else was lol#And then when the players are like hey wtf is wrong with you she's like fuck you're right and then she fights with them but gets scared and#Won't follow them into the dungeon cause it's scary like okay war god acolyte you're a little bit of a pussy huh#Losers!!!! I know how to play losers#🍯🧚 txt
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Lying here trying to eradicate the tiny round grass seeds that have somehow[*] gotten into my sheets... I ponder whether there was a royal line that suffered from fibromyalgia, that was the basis for "The Princess and the Pea."
[*] "somehow" 🤣 surely those beautiful feathers are innocent, innocent

#chronic illness#history of fairy tales#honestly i think about stuff like this more tyan is healthy#inspiration for fairy tales is such a rich field of potential#we all kniw the changeling - neurodivergent thing#feel free to add other fairy tale headcanons tho#whatcha got?#there's also the everpresent 'hypochondriac' victorian lady stereotype that oh hey might be any of many chronic illnesses#they couldn't diagnose 'em but that doesn't mean they weren't right there
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Listen I have watched four minutes of Ace and I love her. She's so cool what the hell
#Ace#Doctor who#Classic who#Rememberace of the darleks:part three#Also side note this lady with peral necklace that was drafted love her to you tell him lady you go#Amazon's doing this thing of hey this is playing right now. Because we've circled back towards cable#And like on on hand fuck amazon#On the other I don't pay for a subscription and now I can watch classic who#Even if it is out of order and I know none of the characters
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Sometimes you have to spoon feed your cat to remind her that she likes to eat food... so that's how my last few days have been going
#personal#she got a vaccine on monday and had a really bad reaction to it#she's a 16 year old old lady and exempt from vaccines now#she's finally drinking water on her own again though and she's eating food when i sit there and feed her#just like 3 bites at a time and then she growls and ignores me but HEY it's progress#i ALMOST trust her to be able to go up and down the stairs again too#thank goodness we had a baby gate for my niece lol the other two cats are so annoyed at it being closed all the time though#time to watch some m9 and chill out for a few hours
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This is kinda late but I have never been more proud of the grammys than this year
#other than Billie losing. that was shit#BUT HEY!! AT LEAST TAYLOR SWIFT DIDN'T WIN ANYTHING!!#I'm not saying she's bad I'm just saying it's a but revealing to not hear Taylor swift won!! for the first time#grammys#grammy 2025#grammys 2025#the grammys#doechii#sza#bruno mars#lady gaga#beyonce#billie eilish#kendrick lamar#sabrina carpenter#miley cyrus#charli xcx#also chat I'm so obsessed with Doechii rn you don't even KNOWW
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cute guy winked at me while he was wearing a milan tracksuit........ i might self combust
#there's a 99.9% chance it means nothing#maybe even more#do cishet guys wink at...other men? tbh i don't even know if he thinks i'm a woman or a man or. confused about my gender#there's like equal chances for all three#and also honestly i'm even uglier as a “woman” than i am if you look at me as a man#i'm slightly better if you see me as nonbinary bc i mean that's who i am. like i'm still ugly but. slightly better#he might actually even know i'm trans lol#bc (wait for this) he's the son of one of my landlords (still not entirely sure which one. that family has 600 people and half of them are#legally my landlords/ladies)#(i'm exaggerating of course)#but like at least some people in that family know i'm trans bc my legal name is still my deadname but i try as much as possible to live as#nico so i had to be like hey that's my legal name but call me nico.. and he....#so who knows maybe they spread the word lol i would hope not but do i trust cis people? absolutely not. never#anyway all this to say... what was i saying. he probably just acts like that with everyone who's around his age or worse just the women 🥲#he's so cute tho.. and i've met him a few times lately bc he's been helping out at the family shop i guess and he's always so nice to me#i mean i'm a customer so he probably has to lol he's good at it tho. better than the guy who works there all the time (his dad ?)#and the first time i met him recently i was going to pick up a package and he remembered my name?!? we never rly talked#he was like “nico right?” with the most beautiful smile.......... that's the moment i was like oh no. i never have to see this guy again#unfortunately i have 3 more times and. oh no. i can't be getting a crush that's horrible i don't want it#nico rambles#<- never has this tag been truer to the nature of a post (lie)
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long rant incoming, I'm just fed up with a certain person right now
OH MY GOODNESS is it too much to ask for just a LITTLE respect?? I drive this girl to and from school, every day. I'm going to call her Laura. Laura is an only child and the only reason I'm taking her to school is because she refuses to bike to mile and a half from her place to the school in the cold. Which is fine. The arrangement was that I drive her and she pays gas money. The problem is, she's been super annoying about it. Every morning for about a month, she would text me "are you picking me up today". every single morning. Until I snapped one day and told her that I have been picking her up every morning for the past month, of course I'm picking her up. not my proudest moment, but it works. Now, however, I have to text her every time I'm at her house and she still takes maybe 4 minutes to get out the door. Which, okay, I can understand the texting thing, but I would like her to be ready. and then every afternoon, she tells me that she can't find my car, so I have to tell her where I parked it in the morning. or she won't text anything and I'm sitting in my car for five or ten minutes after I text her for a response that's lik "oh I was with friends" or "I thought you were still in the school, I'm coming out now" which. okay. I understand, I like talking to my friends, but we all leave pretty quickly because no senior wants to stay at school longer than they have to. But there have been more than a few times where I'm sitting in my car for OVER HALF AN HOUR waiting for her to text back with "oh btw I forgot to tell you, I have a club meeting" or "i went home with a friend" or some bs. So every day I have to text her "do you need a ride home" because I'm waiting, in my car, for 15 minutes after school, waiting for this girl. And today, I'm sitting there for 25 minutes. and I'm like, okay I can wait, because I have some fics to catch up on. But then I'm finished with my fics
and I text her because she's still not there and it takes another five minutes for her to respond, word for word, "oh, sorry, I thought you would text me when you got to your car" after I've REPEATEDLY said that I typically leave school as soon as I can. I'm willing to wait for her, but I'm usually gone within five minutes of the bell. I waited half an hour for her to tell me that she was waiting for me to text her, informing her of my location, after I've told her that I'm always at my car. I even text her when I have something going on! Club meeting? I pick her up and before we get to school "I can't drive you home because I have a club meeting." If I have somewhere to be, or if I have to stay after school, I tell her before school or during lunch. Every single time, without fail.
not to mention the fact that the original arrangement was that she would pay me 10 dollars every 2 weeks for gas. I've only gotten 20 dollars in the past three and a half months. she keeps asking if I have venmo, and then never bringing up payment when I say that I don't. and she always complains about being too broke to afford anything, then goes and buys pizza and donughts during lunch. she's been flaky for everything else, too and it's so annoying. I've been trying to be a nice friend, because I didn't have friends, let alone kind friends growing up, and I've becoming known as the rich friend who's always willing to help in my friend group. I try to set boundaries, but then people stop talking to me the moment I do. and this has gone on throughout my entire life. Laura's behavior is even what happened in all of my previous relationships, I'd be giving 100 percent and they're giving 50, at best, until I wear myself out just trying to spend time with them and make it work, including talks where I set my boundaries and tell them, literally say "I would like it if you could just do this". If you could just get work off for a single evening or just look away from the computer for half an hour during lunch so we can have an actually conversation, then they never even try and don't understand when I'm all out of juice and can't keep going, then are confused when I stop giving my all
it's infuriating and I hate it. I really want to set boundaries, but guess what. I was raised to walk on eggshells around my mom and let people walk all over me because that's the only way that I would ever get attention from my PARENTS. because I was told to shut up and do what I'm told so that my siblings could get the help that they needed.
#I need to set more boundaries#I want to be the nice friend#but nice doesn't equal taken advantage of#I really hate Laura right now#but I feel bad trying to set boundaries and leaving her out in the cold if she decides that putting in just a little bit more effort#isn't worth it#asjhkdfjhf#personal#if anyone has any advice#I love my trauma so much /s#my other friendships are great because they actually contribute things to the relationship#but also when I start setting boundaries people don't stick around#I have a really hard time making friends and my parents suggested a money incentive#hey lets go out to eat; I'm paying#and I get a friend but it feels like I'm buying a friendship#because I'm the fucking “rich” kid who only has three real friends#and the only place that I've actually felt like I belonged#or like people actually cared about me and my interests#was a fucking discord server#some random 25 year old lady from Germany cares more about me than some of my friends
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