#hes still so young but thinks hes Doomed / his romantic life is over bc things didnt work out w his first love... like be fr

[cruelaffair]

@lostwcnderlands sent 🍷 for the wheel to select a blind date ✩

married young,  divorced young — elijah's been out of the game for years,  having thrown himself completely into his work as a way to distract his mind from how far life skewed from all the plans originally made.  almost didn't show up tonight,  but knew that his friend would track him down to the ends of the earth if he cancelled on someone else in lieu of disappearing again.  so,  here he sits,  uncomfortably fiddling with the napkin within his reach while trying to identify if it's the bar that's warm,  or him.  after a few beats,  he lets out a breath,  making eye contact.  “  i'm sorry about this.  i'm pretty out of practice—  ”  elijah sighs,  chuckling humorlessly at himself,  “  if you couldn't already tell.  sort've been a ghost the past few years.  don't really know how to do the casual conversation thing anymore.  ”  not with expectations weighing over every word.  “  wouldn't hold it against you if there's a better way for you to spend your time.  ”

[justapixelthing]

Rant about how to make OOT Zelink work with TP Link being a Farmer

I had this rant stuck in my head at work so I have to get it out or I'll explode!

So child timeline: Malon has a thing for Link but Link has eyes for Zelda and kinda has to break Malon's heart. So what does he do? As Link trains to become a knight, he meets a guy (an OC I have yet to present) who seems perfect for her. So he sets the two up and they become a couple. Link works his way up the ranks and becomes a royal knight, eventually also getting a honorary noble title (those do indeed exist). And once Zelda is queen she can do whatever she wants and marries Link. Besides Link literally has the mark of the gods (triforce on his hand) in a religious Kingdom like Hyrule. I doubt he'd be just a simple peasant. Not to forget to mention the warning of impending doom.

So Link and Zelda have multiple children and so do Malon and OC.

One of Zelda and Link's children ends up falling with love with one of Malon and OC's children. The ZeLink child eventually decides it wants to leave the royal duties to the siblings and moves to the farm to be with Malon's child (giving up royal life is also a thing that happens sometimes IRL, most recent example being... the kinda messy one of Harry and Meghan). ZeLink child x Malon/OC child create the bloodline that leads to Twilight Princess Link being a farmer. There are definitely at least several generation between them. I've seen people mention that the 100 years between OoT and TP was a mistranslation and it's actually hundreds. Can't confirm for sure but makes more sense considering how vastly different Hyrule is.

So that means: TP Link is: A descendant of Link, Zelda and Malon. It's basically a second generation MaLink through their children. Sure it is a lot easier to go the Malon and Link end up together route, but as long as Nintendo never confirms MaLink, It's pretty valid to go another way with your headcanon. That does make TP Link and Zelda veeery distant cousins, but so distant to the point that they can't really be counted as related if you want to ship them. (If you don't want to ship TP Zelink, them being lost cousins is also a cute story.)

Also kinda fits in with the Hero's Shade armor. It looks like no other armor of any other knight. Maybe it was a royal armor? I do think the Shade acts more like an old mentor, than a young man, so I think he probably died in old age and got buried with his armor, or fell in battle when he was an old man and no longer as strong (bc let's be real hero of time + hidden skills? He must have been a beast in his prime time). If his children were a mix of royals and a farmer, no wonder he wouldn't have taught them his skills. Or they just didn't want to or weren't fit for it. And ofc Link would still lament not being remembered as hero. It's not about being any hero but the hero of time. No matter how many people knew about it, no one would be able to relate.

Long story short: Oot Zelink is possible with a few extra steps. BUT MaLink wouldn't be a bad couple and I see nothing bad in people who like them. I just forever prefer ZeLink over MaLink because to me the romantic implications are too strong. I feel like Nintendo originally wanted ZeLink to be the main focus (Miyamoto saying he sees Zelda as Links girlfriend) but accidentally made MaLink a strong possibility by making TP Link a farmer. But that's just my thought. The TP Manga does try to retcon this quite a bit.

Anyway, as long as nothing is put as canon, every ship and head canon is perfectly valid and this is mine. :D Pls don't fight over things like fictional character love interests. Adding a fictional story to a... fictional story is no crime. It being open for our interpretation creates a lot of diversity and I like that.

Sorry for the long rant! Edit: Or just have Malon Zelda and Link in a poly relationship :D

[marlmckitten]

Mr & Mrs Kitty (An Introduction)

A new Blackinnon series by MarlMcKitten and PadsMcfoot

As so many of you know I have trouble letting go of past plots. And I spent three years working on a beautiful Blackinnon one with a friend. Unfortunately that story has come to a close but to keep it alive I want to share it with all of you. But since I also have commitment issues with writing an entire story at once. This is going to be written differently. It is going to be a number of short or long snippets of their lives in no particular order. This first ‘chapter’ is going to be a short, point form introduction to the version of Blackinnon that I will be sharing with you and all the important side characters that come with it. (Mainly bc my new Blackinnon is sooo different and all my plots are gonna shift a little now.) Thank you!

Marlene McKinnon:

your 70′s bombshell

loud, outspoken, unpredictable, wild

she fell in love with Sirius the day he arrived at Hogwarts on a motorcycle, grown out hair, new tattoos and a brand new family (The Potters)

she didn’t admit it for a while though

eventually they fell in love

she didn’t die with her family

but she was devastated

and pregnant

Bellatrix used occlemency to make her believe that it was Sirius who was killing her family

that was what made Sirius go to Azkaban

Marlene ran away, she made her way because she had to, she was pregnant and that was now the last living member of her family and the McKinnon line

she worked in shops, she kept a low profile and she did not tell anyone who she was

she gave birth to a beautiful young boy and named him Lynx McKinnon

the boy looked so much like his father

she would cry watching over him, her mind so conflicted on how Sirius would do that for her when her heart knew he wouldn’t

it was years before she saw Sirius again, but one day she just had to talk to him so she went to Azkaban to visit him

he believed she was dead and she asked him how the hell he could do that to her and her family in her emotional rant she let it slip that she had his son

this prompted Sirius to break out of Azkaban, finding out that he had a child and that Marlene was raising him all alone

Eventually they met up again, and Marlene ended up believing him. She always knew in her heart it couldn’t be true.

This Marlene was so much more grown up, (being a single mother wil ldo that)

They went into hiding again, now at Grimmauld Place. Lynx was terrified of his dad. It broke Marlene’s heart and she did not know what to do.

Years later, the war ended, her family was back together. Sirius never died and she wanted to add to her family.

They had two more children. Halo and Aurora Black.

All Marlene ever wants is for her whole family to get along.

Sirius Black:

such a rebel

such a rebel

but he has a weakness

blondes named Marlene McKinnon

he’s infatuated

you think James is bad? You should see Sirius around Marlene.

he never thought he deserved a happy ending but he got it with her.

Well- for a while. Before she died and he was framed for the murder of her and her entire family.

What was the point of living after that?

He didn’t see one.

Years passed. Nothing mattered and then one day ... “Hey split ends.”

He has a son.

He would not be the same shit parent that his were to him. He has to get out.

And he does and he finds them. It doesn’t take much convincing. His Marlene always trusted him.

But Grimmauld Place and all those childhood nightmares are back. He cannot be a father or anything to Marlene.

So instead he drinks.

A lot.

Too much.

He feels Marlene getting distance. He can tell Lynx hates him but he can’t stop himself. And he hates himself for it.

He dies. Through the veil .

But miraculously he finds his way out. Just in time to save his Marlene and his son during the war.

Him and Marlene lead all the Slytherin children out of the castle, away safely. (Even Pansy Parkinson.)

Marlene never forgives McGonagall for locking her son in the dungeouns during a war, but Sirius knows she was doing her best.

Him and Lynx never get a great relationship.

They’re always rocky. But he gets another chance with Halo.

This pushes Lynx away even more but Sirius can’t help it.

He tries to make peace with it and then Aurora comes.

And oh Merlin how he loves Aurora.

They have a very special bond.

Sirius is a great father to Halo and to Aurora and he tries to be for Lynx too.

It takes so much time.

But he has his wife, his kids and Sirius gets the life he never knew he deserved.

Lynx McKinnon

Sirius lookalike

he hates it

he hates his father

but his mom is everything to him

She works a lot when he is a kid, so he tries to help her out.

One day he pleads her to go to the fair with him. It’s the last day, all the other kids have gone and she promised. He is only 7 at the time.

He meets a lonely little girl named Juliet.

They become instant best friends and for the rest of his life no one will ever matter to him quite like his Ma and Juliet do.

Then he is sent to Grimmauld Place, away from Juliet. And he is so scared.

His father terrifies him. The house terrifies him. He sleeps with his mom most night.

Hogwarts comes and he goes there, an escape. And there he finds Juliet also. She’s a muggle born witch and the world is restored!

He protects her when he is sorted into Slytherin and she is a Hufflepuff.

But he misses his mom dearly.

He befriends an ambitious and beautiful young girl named Valencia Mae.

They also become close. The three of them are happy with just each other.

One day he realizes that he is in love with Valencia and he asks her out.

She says yes.

She comes from a very rich family so he tries his hardest to impress her.

Lucky for him, she has some daddy issues.

He learns that he is a very talented artist.

When he decides to persue his dreams as an artist Valencia dumps him.

He is left devastated.

Lynx drops out of school, he leaves everything behind. He leaves his home.

He’s a little dramatic. (Don’t tell him that he gets that from his father.

But years, and years later, he is reunited with Valencia.

They’ll get a chance at their own happy ending.

Halo Black

such a mama’s boy

but so protective over his baby sister

loves his dad too

really a family guy

from a young age he wants to have his own family one day

he’s a little spoiled but doesn’t know it

doesn’t like Lynx much, doesn’t get why his brother doesn’t love his dad like he does

Lynx tries to tell him that growing up with a single mom then going through a war is much harder than growing up in a mansion with two happy parents and the Black family fortune

Halo doesn’t see it.

He has a lot of back problems.

He’s awkward and so clumsy it could put Tonks to shame

he looooves his (very much alive) Uncle Remus

He wears cardigans and he is a hopeless romantic, after a girl in his year who he idolizes in his head

they are doomed to always be in love but not have anything ever go their way

truly tragic but the love story Halo always wanted

Aurora Black

if Halo is too much of a mama’s boy he’s got nothing on how much of a daddys girl Aurora is

she can’t function without her father

and her brother

oh boy is she spoiled

and optimistic

naive

honestly just not that smart

but has the purest heart and the best intentions

she is always trying to get along with Lynx even though she doesn’t even meet him until she’s about 6 years old

she loves Lynx’s art

she messages him all the time, and never gets a response

she is bullied a lot for being air headed.

And it gets bad.

Some girls play a nasty trick on her.

She is turned into a werewolf.

It breaks Sirius’ heart the most.

She would have been killed if Halo hadn’t have saved her life.

She then keeps to herself more, believing that she is ugly and a monster.

Remus helps and Tonks helps but she thinks she will forever be alone.

After all Remus was until his late 30′s.

But she still manages to keep a smile on her face.

She really loves animas.

Her life ambition is to open a bakery with her father.

She never wants to leave her family

She can even melt Lynx’s heart when she really wants to

but man is she s t u b b o r n

and as sweet as she is she can piss anyone off with her stubbornness to always get her way and not see anyone else’s

Juliet Buchannan:

Lynx’s best friend

not the brightest, but very honest

she keeps Lynx from going too hard, he keeps her grounded

but they both really like getting high together

and talking about aliens

Lynx around Juliet is very different than regular Lynx

she happens to love Sirius, calls him Mr McKinnon and he loves it

Calls Lynx Kitty.

Calls Marlene Mrs Kitty.

She goes wherever the wind takes her

Carefree.

Despite her very lonely childhood.

Her father was abusive and neglectful.

She spent more of her time with Lynx and Marlene

They are her family.

Works in Disneyland when she is older as a face character.

She literally just wants to see everyone happy all the time.

But she makes a lot of bad decisions and always has the wildest travel stories

Valencia Mae:

the love of Lynx’s life

BDE

she gets what she wants

her family exploits muggles to make their fortune

hardcore business woman

loves fashion

never goes anywhere without her Louboutins

she really isn’t that into the wizarding world and hates Hogwarts

but still gets good grades

ambitious AF

dont mess with her

seriously don’t

she will also stand up for Juliet once she is forced to take her in

dating Lynx means dating Juliet as well

really not the jealous type though so she doesn’t care

just a bad bitch in fancy heels

wine

Lyra

the girl Halo is way too in love with

she is not easy to love

she is so troubles Halo just wants to fix her

they are on again, off again faster than anyone can keep track

she has a small thing for Lynx and also one for Sirius

she has serious abandonment issues

the bottom line is she just wants to be loved and accepted but doesn’t know how to be

she does not have a strong sense of self-identity

Sirius really takes a liking to her, and is kind to her, she misjudges that and develops her tiny crush

but it is always Halo she loves

she just doesn’t know how to

she’s there to create the drama without meaning to

Lynx hates her, but she’s good at art so he helps her with that

Valencia and her would kill each other if given the chance

Aurora adores Lyra

Marlene hates seeing a girl break her baby’s heart

Just so lonely.

[moresassythanclassy]

Thoughts on Gendrya, Season 8

I just have feelings, soo many feelings about Gendry and Arya from this season, that I had to write them down. I never really write out my thoughts on characters in general (bc I’m lazy but also have a hard time saying exactly what I mean) but I’d like to give it a go and see if you guys agree or have some other thoughts.

First of all, I love the way they basically pick up the relationship where it left off years ago with the banter and I’m really glad that that part has stayed consistent. Like most everyone else, though, I felt there was a palpable difference in the way Gendry treated her in ep1 of s8 than when they interacted before. When they were younger, Arya, of course, was just a girl and he treated her the way a young man should: he joked around with her, protected her, and took her thoughts and feelings into consideration even when he knew she was sometimes wrong. He loved her in a way that, to me, is difficult to define. On one hand, he did feel that responsibility a brother feels over his younger sibling, so I do see how this comparison is made. However, I think he was still aware that, as they both grew older and she became a woman, his feelings could one day begin to change (assuming that they were still together). Yet he’s also painfully aware that he could never be on the same level as her, because she would always be a highborn and he a lowborn. Therefore, he remains guarded and even chooses to stay behind with the brotherhood because he knows no one else would ever accept him as her “family.”

Arya, on the other hand, always knew she felt differently for Gendry than she ever did for her brothers, or for anyone else. Like most of us (including Joe) have said, Gendry awakened certain feelings she’d never before felt both physically and emotionally. She was enamored by so many things about him, particularly when he treated her as an equal (even when her own father didn’t do so), that she found herself falling in love. Yes, she was still immature and couldn’t have known exactly what it all meant, but she felt it nonetheless.

Now, as they reunite for the first time, they’re several years older and in completely new stages of life. Arya, in particular, is now the woman Gendry knew she would become someday; however, he’s still taken aback by how different his feelings already are only seconds after seeing her again. His mind is reeling and he has no idea what to say, except he knows he’s always been honest with her, so he stutters out, “You look...good.” When she responds in kind, he has to look away and then walks back over to his work station to escape the new tension he feels. He’s in completely unfamiliar territory and isn’t prepared for how hard his attraction for her hits him, so he reverts back to what he did in the past—he teases her and calls her “m’lady.”

Arya, now, has gone through so much that she’s changed in more ways than he could imagine. Although still stubborn, she doesn’t exactly wear her heart on her sleeve like she did with him before. At first, it seems like she is trying to be as distant from him as she possibly can. When she talks to him she even sounds almost...bored? Or tired? Of course she wasn’t either of those things, but I believe that was her way of trying to be able to brush off this interaction later and labeling it as no big deal, because she’s not that person anymore (at least that’s what she tells herself). I think she’s also afraid that he may not be the same person he used to be, either. And that his memories of being with her were not nearly as important to him as they were to her. Clearly, Gendry was able to dissolve that fear fairly quickly when he teases her in the same way he used to. She can’t help but smile and laugh a little at the fond memories, which helps her to feel a little more comfortable. Still, she’s a different person now, and although she jokes back with him, her responses still seem somewhat calculated. She’s definitely happy to see him, but in no way is she going to open up to him and allow herself to feel the same way she did when she was younger.

Despite having a sex scene later on in the episode, their first interaction in ep2 was my favorite interaction they’ve had in s8 thus far. To me, Arya is still trying to be guarded and calculated with every interaction she has with Gendry. She finds him in the forge and watches him until he looks up and starts talking to her. Clearly, she knows she’s still attracted to him physically and likes what she sees (the emotional part, though, she still refuses touch). At this point in her life she’s become so good at pushing down her vulnerability that she may even think that that part of her no longer exists. While she does come to the forge because she wants her weapon, she equally wants to impress Gendry by showing him how far she’s come since she was just a girl. And while I wouldn’t call her actions manipulative because the underlying emotions she feels for him are definitely still there, she’s made it clear by this point that she’s attracted to him as she now hopes he is to her.

Gendry is more prepared this time to see her because he’s now had time to process that he is, in fact, attracted to her and has feelings that go beyond what he felt for her before. He senses her watching him and looks up with confidence. He knows what she’s about to ask for and is prepared to tell her that, no, her weapon isn’t ready yet, and shouldn’t she feel safer by going down into the crypts when the white walkers come? He’s clearly given this some thought and this is his attempt at keeping her safe. I believe that he’s far more desperate to keep her alive than he expresses, simply because he knows that if he told her how concerned he truly was she would probably stand on the front lines in pure defiance. But even though he’s scared, he knows he can’t and won’t try to control her. At this point, too, he still doesn’t know how skilled with weapons she really is, and what exactly she’s gone through. He tries to casually tell her that making more knives are more important than making her weapon, and suggests that she should stay in the crypts where it is safer. The white walkers, he says, are like death, like nothing she’s ever seen before. When she responds the way she does though, with such confidence and incredible precision when throwing the knives, he’s blown away and knows he has no choice but to make the weapon she asked for.

Finally, the sex scene... this scene is where I have the most conflicting thoughts. Yes, I wanted this to happen eventually, and yes, I was thrilled that there was finally an official acknowledgement of the fact that their relationship has, in fact, turned romantic. What I’m conflicted about is how I was hoping it would happen, and, more specifically, how I wanted Arya to feel when it happened. Deep down, she knows she’s still in love with him, yet she can’t allow herself to acknowledge it to neither him nor herself. She wants to be able to express her love for him but the only way she can accept doing so is by convincing herself that she only wants this because she’s never slept with anyone before, and she wants to know what it’s like before she dies.

Gendry, on the other hand, knows how he feels and has accepted it to the best extent that he can. This doesn’t mean he’s actually going to tell her how he feels, but he’s at least content in knowing that he now understands why things are so different between them. This is why he’s so awkward and hesitant to answer when she asks him to tell her about the other women he’d been with before. Because to him, how many women he’d been with is no longer important. He most likely even has some anxiety when thinking about sex due to the experience he had with Melisandre. He’s surprised and hesitant when Arya kisses him because, although he does love her and would’ve wanted this to happen someday, this wasn’t how he’d pictured it happening. He knows she has a point, though, when she says they’re probably going to die tomorrow, and quickly decides to give in. He loves her, and, like Arya, he wants to be able to show it at least once before they die.

Then, at the end of the episode when the camera pans back to the two lying together, Gendry is sleeping contently (or however content he can be on a pile of burlap sacks with impending doom at their door). Arya, however, still lies awake, concern evident on her face. To me, this is really her “oh shit” moment, when she realizes she’s bitten off more than she can chew and all of the feelings she’s been holding in are suddenly flooding to the surface. Suddenly, she’s not okay, and she can’t just get him out of her system like she thought she could. She’s afraid now not for herself but for him. She’s finally hit with the fact that he’s probably going to die, and that terrifies her to no end. She loves him, and she has to figure out a way to try and keep him safe.

Tl;dr: they’re both idiots in love and I just want them to be okay.

If you actually made it to the end of this I applaud you and thank you for reading. Please let me know your thoughts about any of this or anything you’re thinking about on the show in general. Thanks again!

[taeilm]

potc!au | nct

drink up, me ‘earties (never shall we die)

3 ships, 3 crews, 18 boys sailing the vast atlantic

warning lowkey dark bc potc

TAEYONG: Captain of La Vipère

loves the sea more than anything

has probably sailed more waters than any other pirate (he does own the fastest ship out there)

fears neither death nor life

but has a gentle heart so therefore...too many weaknesses

cares about his crew a lot, especially jaehyun

brilliant swordsman; one of world’s best

it’s mesmerizing to watch him amidst battle bc he fights like he’s dancing

confident & courageous & will face anything head-on

charismatic; ppl are naturally drawn to him

ten’s nemesis; their vendetta against each other is never-ending (though neither is sure how it started)

romantically unavailable bc he’ll only ever be in love with that distant horizon and boundless sea

SICHENG: Quartermaster of La Vipère

taeyong’s most trusted right-hand man

aloof, mysterious; no one rly knows why he’s here or what he wants

ex-british royal navy commander but he left all that behind for the uncharted sea, bc taeyong somehow convinced him

pretty boy

his beauty is literally deadly bc ppl let their guard down around him then lose their lives for it

terrific fighter

doesn’t talk much

can be very cruel if needed (to enemies & crew alike)

extremely disciplined but slowly trying to unravel the navy orderliness that has defined most of his life

TAEIL: Boatswain of La Vipère

loves the ship more than his crew

carefully maintains her so she’s always running at 100%

will probably go down with the ship if she ever sinks

looks harmless but is actually p good with a sword

doesn’t like fighting though

taeyong consults him a lot

experienced & versatile bc he’s worked on many pirate ships before

but for some reason everyone trusts his loyalty to la vipère

has a lot of good stories to tell

loves singing haunting tunes about dying sailors; it sets the crew on edge but his voice is too beautiful to make stop

JAEHYUN: Sailing Master of La Vipère

inexplicably attuned to taeyong’s feelings and desires

prob bc they’ve known e/o since they were little pirate boys

shares his captain’s love for the sea

taeyong trusts him with his life

doesn’t like making empty promises

soft-spoken & gentle

has the face of a heartthrob but doesn’t use it to his advantage

very precise with navigations

seems to always know where taeyong wants to sail before he even tells him

JOHNNY: Master Gunner of La Vipère

chill and laidback; nothing ever fazes him

joined the crew bc he was bored & wasting his life away on land

master gunner for no reason other than that he gets a sick thrill out of bombing other ships to oblivion

he only feels alive during battles; the more chaotic the better

so unsympathetic that ppl think he’s missing a nerve but rly, he’s just perpetually disinterested in everything

can be very charming from time to time depending on his mood

loves thunderstorms & hurricanes

JAEMIN: Surgeon of La Vipère

childhood friends with jeno; they were both orphans living off of scraps in paris

doesn’t talk about it bc they’re kinda enemies now but he worries over him a lot (taeyong knows this but can’t do much about it)

initially joined la vipère to find jeno

adapted well to life as a pirate; anything is better than the starving hell he grew up in

a surprisingly capable doctor even though the only experience he’s had was from treating his and jeno’s cuts & bruises from larceny punishments

very stealthy & nimble

good at stealing

loves his crew members

+++

+++

TEN: Captain of The Black Pearl

taeyong’s nemesis; would kill him but would highkey also fuck him (their relationship is rly twisted & intense idk)

a playful trickster

nothing but snide remarks tucked under his tongue

devil-may-care attitude; little thoughts given for the future

so unbelievably selfish and narcissistic it’s amazing he has a crew at all

but he’s fun!! and clever and charming as hell

can wiggle his way out of any trouble

very good at lying & acting

speaks a lot of languages

legendary swordsman; on par with taeyong

only shows genuine affection when talking about the black pearl

sleeps with countless ppl every time they dock at a port

DOYOUNG: Quartermaster of The Black Pearl

basically in command of the ship bc ten rarely does anything for the crew

smart, organized, well-rounded

revered and somewhat feared by the crew

hides his emotions v well

ppl think he’s heartless but tbh he’s not rly; he’s just good at separating task from feeling

has a soft spot for jeno; thinks the boy is wholly unsuited for this barbaric life

doesn’t seem very invested in piracy (he wants something more but he’s not sure what)

loves the sea at night when everything is calm & quiet

prefers peaceful sailing to battle frenzy but that doesn’t mean he can’t fight well (he’s actually the second-best swordsman onboard after ten)

KUN: Boatswain of The Black Pearl

similar to taeil, the ship is his pride & joy

does a good job overseeing everything on a daily basis

greedy; loves gold more than anything

always the first to locate the treasure hoard on a conquered ship

dreams of being the wealthiest man in the world and thinks piracy is the quickest way to achieving that

everything he does is for his own gain; the crew to him is just another means of aiding him in the bigger scheme

takes care of yukhei the most bc he thinks that kid is their best asset in battles; ppl mistake it for affection but kun would drop him in a heartbeat for even the tiniest materialistic gain

loves rum

JENO: Sailing Master of The Black Pearl

the kindest & most thoughtful boy

very good-looking (his beauty is famous across all the seas; even mermaids fall for his allure)

childhood friends with jaemin; misses him but doesn’t dare to say anything bc if ten ever finds out, jaemin will likely die just so ten can see jeno’s reaction for his own entertainment

not very fond of his captain

only joined the crew bc ten saved him years ago from nearly getting his hand chopped off for stealing (“now, boy, i need me a crew, so what do you say? join me and i’ll consider your debts paid”)

separated from jaemin due to that but fate has her own way and now they’re enemies on sea (he’s not sure if he’s thankful or angry)

has a natural affinity for directions at sea despite having been a parisian street rat his whole life

YUKHEI: Master Gunner of The Black Pearl

epitome of the ruggedly handsome pirate™

crazy fucking bastard

doesn’t know what holding back means

blasts cannons like there’s no tomorrow every time the black pearl engages in battle

loves joking around with the crew

says he adores & would die for everyone but no one knows if he rly ever means it

so reckless w everything he does that it’s a feat he’s still alive

drinks a lot but rarely gets drunk

honestly just wants to live life to the fullest

that’s why he loves being a pirate!! nothing else can give him the same dizzying rush of being alive, knowing he’s always on the verge of death

huge womanizer... always gone the moment they dock, just like ten

JUNGWOO: Surgeon of The Black Pearl

shy & quiet & seemingly innocent

but no one knows of all the shit he’s done in secret to get to where he is today

obviously he’s darker than he comes off as if he’s survived for this long on the sea

ppl always want to protect him and he goes along with it bc false impression is his favorite weapon

so tbh he’s as good of a liar as ten is

pretends to act like an airhead but is acutely perceptive to everyone and everything around him at all times

a highly skilled surgeon; was trained as a pirate doctor’s apprentice since v young

+++

+++

MARK: Captain of The Flying Dutchman

cut his own heart out and locked it away; no one knows where it is or dare to ask

cursed with the ship; can never make port and is doomed to sail the seas for eternity

acts cruel and merciless but is deep down very sensitive

ppl say no one knows love like he has known love

self-destructive, moody

lone wolf; pushes everyone away but somehow his crew is unshakably devoted to him

superior swordsman; second only to ten and taeyong

controls the kraken; the entire sea is envious of him for that

RENJUN: Quartermaster of The Flying Dutchman

ex-british commodore

was so so devoted to great britain like literally exemplar pawn of the empire; would’ve died for his queen with zero hesitation

drawn to ppl who are better than him

which is why he was enthralled by mark during one great battle bt the british navy & the flying dutchman 

and then promptly abandoned everything he ever stood for just to follow this boy

has a pride complex where he simultaneously pines after & wants to kill those who’ve bested him

very good with guns & pistols

YUTA: Boatswain of The Flying Dutchman

loves being a ghost-pirate; he was made for the undead life

had an intense affair with sicheng from years ago but was betrayed and nearly hanged for piracy 

so now he’s bent on revenge (but some fucked-up part of him is still in love with sicheng) (he’ll never admit it though)

tongue sharper than ten’s bc he always speaks with the intention to hurt

very manipulative

holds grudges

joined the flying dutchman bc it’s the most feared ship on the seven seas & he thinks it’s his best chance at finding & killing those he’s been wronged by (rn primarily sicheng)

despite everything he’s p loyal to mark bc there’s something about cutting one’s own heart out that intrigues him to no end

CHENLE: Sailing Master of The Flying Dutchman

navigates the ship to various locations to collect sailors who died at sea & ferry their souls to the next world

good judgements when it comes to sailing

often climbs onto the crow’s nest to stargaze or watching the rising sun bc they’re the only things that calm him

absolutely devoted to mark bc mark plucked him out of an abusive shanghai orphanage & basically saved his life

has a dark side but is generally a sweet boy

confides in renjun a lot bc he trusts him the most

DONGHYUCK: Master Gunner of The Flying Dutchman

would die for mark in a heartbeat

he’s in love with his captain? maybe?

rude/sarcastic little shit

jack of all trades; very smart but puts 20% effort into everything

disobedient as fuck bc he wants to get a rise out of mark but has never succeeded

sunshine boy on the surface but won’t bat an eyelash when spilling blood

gets a sadistic kick out of firing cannons and pistols

likes playing games with their captives/hostages

good at telling jokes & stories but everyone finds him annoying

JISUNG: Powder Monkey of The Flying Dutchman

suspicious of everything & doesn’t trust anyone

bad at managing emotions & relationships (his captain can relate)

a quick learner; can honestly take over any position on the ship if he wants to

gets along well with chenle but isn’t super close w anyone

his mother tossed him overboard at birth w the intention to drown him but mark saved him by chance

yuta jokes that mark only picked him out of the water bc he didn’t want to ferry another dead soul

he considers his life to be mark’s; 100% at his captain’s disposal

excellent fighter despite being so young

[augchamp]

jackaby fan ending bc i am still tORN UP

[in which viv isn't quite satisfied with the ending of a certain novel. thanks to @rfjackaby . hope you enjoy!] That isn't quite the end of my story, though. Everything following the blinding light, up until Charlie was kissing me on the front porch of 926 Auger Lane later that day, was a blur of colors. Auras and people and emotions and footprints all blurred together into a fine mess of vision. I didn't marry him. Not right away, at least. Instead Charlie Barker moved into the bustling household, newly refurbished, and slightly less cluttered. The library wasn't mine, per say, but I spent a lot more time in there than my employer, who preferred to spend most days either outside or in bed, with rare in betweens. ​​​​​​Jenny tended to float in and out of her house, instead opting to accompany Jackaby on most of the walks, God knows where. She was a vibrant pink whenever she returned from those expeditions, I will say. I asked Charlie once, and he had also noticed that she seemed more... Alive. I gave Douglas better access to the pond. It's quite interesting to observe him in the new pond, still figuring things out. I realized why he had chosen to stay that way, and briefly wished I too was a waterfowl. Briefly. Charlie learned how to make the best tea in all the world, I dare say better than mine. He brought me cups of it throughout the day, and at some point throughout gallons of tea, my butterfly feelings for him faded, replaced with a sense of calm. A sense of home. There was one moment when he brought me a cup of tea late in the evening, and leaned over to kiss my head, when neither of us blushed, and neither of us shyly glanced away. I kissed him back. That's how I knew I loved him. As for I, I changed in some considerable ways after our events. Lucky for me, things were unsettlingly calm for the next two months, a time where I could grab for bearings of the new colors and senses and smells and feelings. I noticed I, however, became grayer. Duller. Sharper around the edges, and now I had perpetual bags under my eyes, even as I smiled. The vision was overwhelming, exhausting, and occasionally made me frustrated enough to break down into tears. I knew I'd have to live with it, though, and if I did get upset, it was away from Jackaby, and away from Jenny. I grew comfortable with Charlie's shoulder. I knew if my employer saw me at those breaking points, he would keep himself up at night, and he'd already done that enough for too many years. It was heartbreakingly beautiful the first time I saw him grin, ear to ear. I don't think I'd ever heard him laugh the way he did just a few weeks after he'd passed the vision on. He was happy. He had color in his cheeks, and a spring in his step, and when he shot me a grin, I knew he truly was enjoying life for what it was. And for me, it was all worth it. What wasn't worth it, were the amount of inside jokes among my three housemates, who dubbed the catchphrase "I didn't die for this". It became something they immediately bonded over, and laughed about, and something else to make me crack a smile and roll my eyes. As the years grew on, we all grew on each other. From the time that Jenny took Charlie to see the things she'd chosen for her wedding (which she insisted I try on her dress), to when Jackaby and I decided to bake a cake (you do not want to hear that story), we were no longer just a group of odd faces. We eventually became a mystery quartet. Oh, how we pissed off Marlowe. We became quite the team, however, where we each played to our strengths, and helped support the others' weaknesses. We had a few bumps in the road, times where we almost died, or got eaten, or got banished from another kingdom, but it was, for the most part, exceptional. The Mystery Quartet wasn't unbeatable by any means. We were just remarkable by all others. Months became years, and cases stacked up, and our friendships and romantics only grew for others in the group. There was one instance where I threw myself in front of Charlie and Jackaby, where I thought I was going to die. I thought I was going to flicker out. I could see in the others' faces that they did too. It was another year before Charlie proposed to me. He knew that I knew. Several weeks leading up to it, he'd discussed things with me, desperate to be sure I was involved in our conversations on the matter, but not quite saying when he would ask. He asked when I made us both a cup of tea after a long day. It was one of my favorite memories from there on out, one I could remember almost without the filters of color and smears of emotion. I set a glass down on the table in front of him, sat down beside him, and leaned on him, as he leaned on me, before he whispered: "Please tell me you'll marry me, Abigail." "Of course, Charlie. Of course." I had held onto the ring after he'd been revived, and he never had asked for it back until that moment, only to slide it onto my finger, lean on my shoulder, and drink his tea. We got married in the fall, a few friends attending, among those were Jackaby and Jenny, and Miss Lydia Lee. I wore Jenny's dress. She cried. It was another few years before children even entered our minds, another few years of adventure. Neither Charlie nor I were quite ready to settle down when I became pregnant, and though it turns out that you probably shouldn't be investigating a resurfacing of a certain redcap while six months pregnant, all ended safely. I didn't throw myself headfirst into danger. ​​​​​​ When I held our daughter for the first time, very few were present, among those were Charlie, Jackaby, and Jenny. I let Jackaby hold her. He cried. We raised strong children on 926 Auger Lane, four of them, to be exact. Freckled, curly haired children they were, but they were fiercely kind and stubborn, and I knew that we had gone right somewhere along the lines when our oldest son rescued a wood nymph from certain doom, and his the creature in his bedroom for months. The first expedition our children went on was catastrophic, and that was simply to a fortune teller, so when Jackaby and our oldest daughter returned from her first official dealings with the paranormal, covered in mud, you can bet I asked if anything had been set on fire. There hadn't been, but something that did set alight were my daughter's eyes, at the young age of thirteen. She'd seen things I hadn't until I was well past my thirties, and that scared me. It also instilled confidence, though. My story is never quite over, just as the Seer's isn't. I truly hope when I die, it's long after my children have learned the love and death of life, and that my daughter will be strong when colors blur before her own eyes.

[aeroknot]

some thoughts on the latest wynonna plot twist

i’ve been working on this for a little while. 

i just want to explain a large part of my resistance to the wearp development of season 2. it is very personal (perhaps tmi) and reveals a deep bias infiltrating my ability to whole-heartedly accept or celebrate the plot line. I still think it’s worth expressing, though.

ok so like… i’ve felt a range of emotions regarding this pregnancy plotline, most of them negative and just varying in the degrees of pissy pessimism i can shift between, and at first i was really self-interrogating and just being like “are you being an insufferable asshole about this because of wyndolls?” and i thought about it and y’know, probably, like, I’ll be transparent bc who the fuck else am I gonna be real with about this show other than strangers on the internet? and yeah, 10% of it’s wyndolls-related dread, sure, but honestly??

the root of it is that I don’t like kids right now, especially infants, and this intensely combines with the fact that, as a 27 year old with shared qualities with her, I was projecting onto wynonna hard. a big specific fear we shared was where I constantly wonder about whether I truly have choices in my “fate” (mostly, re: am I doomed to repeat my parents’ mistakes? and also am I doomed by my depression? a deep and real limitation that really honestly does feel like its own kind of curse. and, would I pass this onto a child and doom them?) I was ecstatic to be connecting with her and key tenants of her personality, as well as her past traumas (such as but not limited to: child abuse from an alcoholic father, being institutionalized, and acting things out sexually with guys) that I found so relatable. a smaller part, but most relevant to this discussion, is that liked to think of her as a woman who, also, at this point in her life, was wholly uninterested in motherhood, for a whole shitton of reasons; many of which I could relate to, but particularly based in her family trauma/this curse/complicated relationships with men, and also her general attitude of prioritizing her needs above everyone else’s except maybe waverly’s and her partner(s)’. working on herself. and i loved that. it resonated with me.

a baby has really thrown a wrench in this experience, and this is largely because a not-so-insignficant emotional dufflebag that’s been chained to my ankle since my ex left is all the times he told me I’d be a terrible mother, and how i’ve been processing that and moving on from letting that hold any more weight in my life completely opposes being excited about a plot development like this.

after I finally picked myself up off the floor of my shame spiral into his evaluation of me, I rebuilt myself by asking: what right did he have to evaluate my worth based on an abstract, idealized, and hypothetical version of motherhood he imagined – specifically myself as a mother, when, might I add, neither of us were even close to being stable enough even as individuals to be ready for parenthood – (answer: no real fucking right). so: would it be liberating and healing to discover that I can be a woman without procreating? could I still find my worth in myself if it never happened for me? could I erase some of that disdain for my character away by moving the goalpost and allowing myself to say: I don’t need this to be a woman worth admiring and loving-- and I could remain someone a person would desire in a long-term romantic relationship? and did I even fucking want children? was it a good idea for me to have them? I don’t completely have a definitive answer and even if I did decide I didn’t want some, maybe if I met the right partner and i decided -- regardless of what my partner wanted -- that I wanted a baby more than I was afraid of a baby, it’d change, maybe. or I’ve thought about adoption later in life. but for now, and what’s feeding into my disappointment and discomfort with wynonna’s arc, is the fact that I have been experimenting with expressing disinterest in children, publicly and privately, and testing out how that makes me feel, and lately, I’ve felt pretty damn good thinking about a childless future, and after the pain I felt with ‘being inept at motherhood’ lorded over my head as a deep insult to my character, it’s very healing and empowering for me to be able to say “I could live without kids” or “having children is perhaps not in my path” and even go so far as to admit “I don’t think I even like children right now.” 

I don’t dislike children, per se (though I do resent I even feel the pressure to have to put that as a disclaimer!!). I’m nice to them. I love my young cousins. I think children are often hilarious and inquisitive and generally good-natured. but they’re…. they’re like how men are to me right now. the idealized ones are really neat; the fictional ones and the ones over there and the ones other people really love are really cool and I’m happy they make others happy and sometimes I get to spend some time with them too, but as a general practice I’d like to just not prioritize them in my life right now, and women are asked to prioritize both all the damn time or else believe there’s something wrong with them, and I’d like to create space and consume some more media where maybe we just… don’t allow that as much? I promise I’m not going around kicking kids nor am I telling other people to kick them. but I am letting myself feel what it’s like to admit that maybe I don’t think they’re the greatest thing on earth, which is what I feel pressured to say (oh god damn, especially in my Christian work environment, dear lort). I’m experimenting with allowing myself to say to someone who invasively inquires about the status of my reproductivity, “y’know, I don’t really like the idea of being responsible for a very sensitive, innocent, impressionable, and defenseless young soul who deserves a lot of time, energy, and self-sacrifice in order to care for and raise; emotional and physical and mental labor that I don’t feel like designating to anyone but myself right now.” basically, I just don’t find them as enthralling as I used to (I once worked at a daycare and wanted to be a teacher), and I’m even questioning now how much of my enchantment back then was authentic and how much of it was indoctrinated.

and a large part of what I’m realizing is the fact I’m made deeply uncomfortable and displeased by the idea of carving out parts of my identity and my life in order to create the large, large space a child deserves in order to fit one into my story. I don’t like the permanence of adding a child; I don’t like the irrevocable nature of such a huge undertaking that will impact every single facet of a person’s life from that point forward. maybe I’m selfish. maybe I’m just not ready. call me what you want, I’m still walking this path for now, though, and I’ll assert I deserve respect even if I don’t want kids.

so to watch this story that I was feeling so connected to for reasons really opposite of this whole storyline so quickly suddenly make room for a baby while I am resisting motherhood as a measure of a woman’s worth and also very freaked out by the permanence and weight of being responsible for your offspring? yeah. it’s a little disheartening to me. like dolls said, it changes everything. and it’s like…… any way they shake the story out, I think I’ll be upset, because I’m... not personally invested in the baby even sticking around, even though I know that sounds sort of horrible.

I admire the way they’ve done it so far in the aftermath of this reveal. I admire the dialogue. and I think admiring and respecting how they’re doing it while still not liking it is valid, and is also a testament to how well-executed it can be. but I’m still hesitant, skeptical, and resistant.

and this is all hard for me too because like… I think I WOULD think it’s awesome if post-broken-curse, older, perhaps in-a-loving-relationship-wynonna and forgiven-herself wynonna kicks down a door while pregnant, and asserts she can still be a hero while pregnant, and she’s still this or still that and not an invalid fragile incompetent person at her job, etc, etc….. demon-hunting mom who pisses off the PTA moms because all their kids think she’s so cool. but it... it’s sudden. it’s “too early” in my head. and of course I understand why that is. but I’m still grumbly about it.

i’ve also realized that I was a child who was somewhat unwanted. conceived between two people with an unhealthy relationship who did not want to be tethered together for the rest of their lives. and as a child in the middle of that stress, as an unplanned baby who MY MOM GOT PREGNANT WITH WHILE ON BIRTH CONTROL, I know what the downsides are to have that origin story. with this context, it makes sense this is a big hang up for me, something I’m recoiling from. and my mother made me her impetus for change and growth and when she failed at healing herself through me, it made me feel like the failure and a waste of space and “not worth it.” (it’s similar with my dad, but fatherhood’s not really the point here.) to be entirely both the source and motivation for your mother’s (and sometimes father’s) personal healing is a lot of pressure. and it feels suffocating. to be the only reason your mother works on herself when you live with her, but then devolves when you’re not with her-- it serves up some real emotional erosion. we can’t say for certain this is what wynonna would do, but even a whiff of this makes me want to run the other direction.

I’m also upset about the issue of consent in the pregnancy. her opportunity to choose was taken from her by the time demon, and that makes me uncomfortable. she’s doing amazing now, she’s so fucking strong, but I’m still upset. it was clever, but if you really look at it, it was another way she had no choice. &... I appreciate her anger about it! i really do! that is one of the things I do really respect: I appreciate her sadness being allowed time onscreen, and Melanie’s acting is uh-mazing regarding this.

see, I have a lot of conflicting emotions about this. I’m trying to articulate it as best I can.

so then I’m even further flabbergasted by all the ways my brain is trying to cope and trying to make the story cool, trying to patch it, trying to adapt it, trying to twist it, and trying to sneak in lighter and happier moments, and trying to find optimism in things like “oh well I love Jane the Virgin and that’s baby-heavy from the get-go.” .... though therein sorta lies the fundamental difference. you knew a baby was coming from the very first episode, the baby is literally the impetus for everything, and so even though there were consent issues even in Jane the Virgin, there was no real transition from Main Plot to Suddenly A Baby Gets To Be The Center of Everything..... but.... making this comparison also helps me to maybe trust a bit more. I love Jane the Virgin (but.... even still, I’ll be honest that I’ve kind of lost interest since Mateo was born and I haven’t been keeping up as regularly as I used to. I need to stop with that, but I feel it’s another example of just how much I’ve been disinterested in kids these days.)

anyway...

i’m trying to…. well…. respond to the prospect of this fictional baby the exact opposite of how I’ve been trying to react to real babies lately. and it’s just… it’s all a perfect storm, I guess.

BUT: it’s my own personal shit. and maybe I just need to set it aside. 

and maybe, even.... this take on motherhood onscreen, seeing wynonna, who I relate to so much, be a mother... perhaps it may even heal some of the wounds I’ve felt regarding the subject since the shame was first implanted by my ex, and reinforced by my own childhood and genetics and immaturity as an “adult.”

maybe. 

we will see.