#hes simultaneously a teenager and an old man

[jadedjuicerider]

[corkinavoid]

DPxDC John Constantine's How To: Ghost Kids (pt.2)

[<- part 1]

"Oh, yeah," John jerks his head up like he just remembered the fact people are supposed to have names at all. He gestures to the kids, pointing to each of them as he introduces, "Daniel, Daniel, and Danielle."

This time, all three kids flip him off simultaneously. Bruce clears his throat, trying to figure out if Constantine is messing with him and, if so, in which parts. Since, so far, everything the man has said sounds like a poor attempt at pulling his leg.

"I don't think they like those," he cautiously says, and the kids whip their heads at him, nodding furiously. Bruce can't help but be just a little enamored with the way they behave.

"Of, sod off, at this point I don't care what they like," John straightens up with a dismissive, albeit weak, wave of his hands, and rubs his face, "They are menaces. Sometimes by accident, but mostly on purpose. Their grandfather thought it would be easier to handle them if they were not teenagers, and while I agreed with his reasoning at the time, I-" he glances at the kids, who all have displeased grimaces of various levels on their faces, "I have been made to reconsider. I swear that ancient bitch is laughing his ass off wherever he is now."

The kids suddenly grin. They are not very friendly, nor polite smiles - if anything, they look a bit nightmarish. An old grandfather's clock in his study makes a very loud ticking noise.

"See?" John whips his head to look at said clock, the expression on his face bordering on insane. His eye twitches.

If Bruce doesn't do anything now, he might become one of the very few people who managed to witness John Constantine, the Laughing Magician, have a meltdown. So he sighs and decides to solve the problems one at a time.

Which means that no matter how alarmed or suspicious he is, his first move would not be to interrogate either the man or the kids.

"You can sleep in one of the guest rooms, I trust you can find it on your own," he tells John, almost softly, as he catches the girl from slipping away from his lap, "Is there anything I need to know about children before you fall unconscious?"

John slumps with relief, so obviously that Bruce almost smiles. Hardships of raising - or, watching, for that matter - kids, he understands.

"Yes," he breathes out with an air of exhilaration and turns to the kids again, pointing to the middle child, "Danny is the original. He is from this dimension and timeline, that is. Dan," he turns his finger to the older boy, "is in the wrong timeline, he's Danny's future evil self redeemed into older bratty brother. Dani," he switches to the girl, "is Danny's clone, made by his arch-nemesis of a godfather. If she starts melting at any point, wake me up immediately. If any of them start floating, sprouting tentacles, speaking to walls in static, or glowing, don't."

Bruce looks down to the kids. So, definitely metas, that would explain the government trying to get them... Or, no, it wouldn't because he is fairly certain no government is going to blatantly ignore the Meta Protection Acts.

"Don't let them raise the dead, and if you give them food, make sure it doesn't have a face. If you find more than three of them, it means one of them has duplicated, don't worry, they will absorb it back later. Absolutely don't let them touch any guns," Constantine is backing down to the door as he speaks, his gaze flickering from the kids to Bruce and back every second. Like he is leaving a ticking bomb in Bruce's lap, and not three children. "Danny is, comparatively, the most responsible one, the other two are up for any dubious trouble they can get to at any moment. Oh, and their memories are wonky because of de-aging, they remember some things but not others, so if they say something particularly disturbing, it's most likely some random piece of knowledge they managed to keep."

Bruce raises an eyebrow. He did get the part about the kids being, well, abnormal in the matters of their origins, but the disjointed set of rules and advices doesn't help as much as Constantine probably thinks it does.

"Allergies, preferences, ages they were before?" He tries to get at least some more info down before John disappears through the door. Actually, maybe he should send someone to handcuff the man to the bed lest he disappears completely.

"None, but don't let them eat cutlery. Danny likes space, Dani has a thing for exploring, and Dan likes violence." The older kid stirs in Bruce's lap and says something in the direction of Constantine. No sound comes out, but the man seems to get what he's trying to say anyway, "Okay, yes, that was rude of me, sorry. Dan likes... exercise," he ends up with, and that placate the boy enough to slump down and cross his arms. John sighs, "They were seventeen, fourteen, and twenty respectively. Now," he snaps his fingers, and suddenly Bruce can hear the girl - Dani - humming a tune under her breath. So, he lifted the silence spell, it seems.

"Good fucking luck," John wishes to Bruce, earnestly, and all but vanishes away.

Bruce sighs and looks down to the kids.

"Are you hungry?" He tries, and all eyes are on him at once, attentive and unblinking.

"Fruitloops," Danny says, and while Bruce is positive that's the name for a cereal, he gets a feeling that's not what the kid meant.

[papasyapperia]

Something I love about Edwin as a character is that he’s simultaneously such a teenager and such an old man all at the same time. Like, he’s a sassy little drama queen with boy problems, like all teenagers. But he also knits on trains and scolds you like he’s your great grandpappy when you do something stupid. It makes him such a fun character and I love it.

[sanguineterrain]

okay i've had this thought brewing for a while and i think you're the only writer who would do it justice!

reader meets jason again post-lazarus pit and he's amazed by how different reader is look-wise. reader was a teenager the last time they saw jason and now as an adult they've gotten a more "adult" body. reader is curvier, fleshier, no longer as lean as they were as a teen and is a bit self conscious about their body. but it drives jason wild to see his old crush all grown up into this mature body, hell he's changed a lot too. but yeah i feel like jason would be so body positive and full of praise 🩷

decided to combine this with a request i got for this prompt: 8) we share the bed because this is what we’ve done since we were kids, regardless of the adult implications now. i so agree with you anon, i think jason would be simultaneously body positive and absolutely FERAL for his old/current crush ;)

jason todd x gn!plus-sized!reader. reader used to work with the bats and is best friends with jayjay. reader is insecure and speaks poorly about their body. jason does NOT like that and desires you carnally! wahoo! suggestive content but no outright smut.

****

You haven't been in Jason's room in five years.

Alfred's kept it pretty much the same. Same books on the shelves, same Gotham Knights sweatshirt Dick gave Jason for his birthday. The curtains are the same shade of maroon, and the left one has a tear from when you played with a batarang. Jason had covered for you and was grounded for a week.

You flip through a dog-eared copy of The Three Musketeers. A few of the pages have underlining in pencil. You trace them with your finger.

The door creaks open. You look up.

Jason freezes in the threshold. His wrist is bandaged and you can see stitches on his forehead. You frown.

"Hey." You set down the book and go to him, offering your shoulder for him to lean on. "You okay?"

Jason sighs, ignoring your shoulder. "Who called you?"

"What d'you mean? We're psychically linked, Jay-Jay. I sensed that there was trouble afoot in Gotham City."

"Uh-huh. That didn't work when you tried to convince the old man I needed a puppy because you psychically divined that it knew me in a previous life."

"You and that Terrier were soulmates and I'll hear nothing of the contrary."

You take Jason's arm, despite his protests that he can make it two feet to the bed. He lays down, trying to hide how his arm twinges in pain. You frown and slip in beside him.

Jason's a lot bigger than he was the last time you shared a bed. Well. You both are. You roll over so you're facing him, squished against his side. You pull your leg up, suddenly self-conscious about everything Jason might be able to see.

Jason is warm. He's warm and big and solid and good God, you've missed him.

Your best friend is also fucking gorgeous and you really want to kiss him, but, uh. Ignoring that. You're very practiced at ignoring the urge to kiss Jason.

"Thanks for comin'."

The light is still on, casting a soft orange glow across Jason's features. He glances at you, lashes casting shadows on his cheeks. You can count all the freckles on his nose, this close.

"I'll always come when you call, Jay," you say. "Well, when Dickie calls. Said you got a concussion."

He turns his head, sighing at the ceiling. "'S not a big deal. Mild concussion. Leslie said I'll be fine in a week, but we all know that's code for two days."

"Yeah, I don't think so. You bats really are birds of a feather."

"How dare you. 'M nothing like those wackos."

"Sure, buddy. Keep lying to yourself. You brought me in all those years ago for a little normalcy."

"My mistake," Jason says.

He gets thwacked with a pillow for that. It fluffs his curls. He grins at you.

You tuck in closer, resting your chin on his shoulder. Jason turns his head so his cheek rests on the top of your head.

"You can have the bed," he says.

"Don't be a silly goose."

"'M gonna go home anyway."

You scoff. "Not like this, you're not."

"Been worse for wear."

You roll your eyes. "How are you gonna ride your bike with a hurt wrist and a concussion, genius?"

"Please, babe. The real question is how will I sneak past Alfred?"

"I'm a babe, now?"

Jason half-smiles. "Always were."

"Liar. Can you imagine me in a Batsuit again? Exactly, you can't. I simply don't have the bod for it."

"Hey." Jason reaches down and gently pinches your thigh. "Why ya doin' that?"

"Doing what?"

"Talkin' bad about yourself. Don't do that. 'Sides, it ain't true."

"Jaybird." You level him with a look. "Be serious. I know you're my best friend and you have to say that, but c'mon. I've seen the hotties you work with. Hell, I've seen Bruce and Dickie."

Jason's face twists in disgust. "Do not call my dad and brother hot."

"Okay, fine. I've seen you."

His brows rise. "What?"

"What, what?"

"Are you... callin' me..."

You snort. "Duh. Have you seen yourself? You've always been cute, Jason. If you didn't have the demeanor of a honey badger, you'd be fending off marriage proposals left and right from the Gotham public. You've always been the prettier one of us, Jay-Jay."

Jason's quiet. You keep going.

"Anyway, neon's never been my color, and it seems like that's a pretty immovable requirement these days. Like, I get Clark's trying to be seen from space but he doesn't get bloated. And the Spandex? Goodness gracious—"

"Y'really see yourself like that?"

Jason's staring at you with a wrinkled brow, mouth set.

"Like what?"

"Like you're not pretty? Like I'm too good for ya?"

You prop your head up on your arm. "You've always been too good for me, Jason Todd."

"That's just not true. And you're fuckin' beautiful, so stop sayin' that shit."

You blink. "Jay, c'mon—"

"No. It's true, so stop. You're the most beautiful person I've ever had the pleasure to know, and if anybody's gettin' proposed to, it's you."

"Jason." Your face is on fire. Why did you open your mouth? "Stop. It's fine. So I'm different; my body's changed and shit. I'm not an athletic vigilante anymore. My thighs have, like, their own zip code. It's my own fault. I didn't keep up the training and whaa—!"

In one fluid motion, Jason's rolled you onto him. Your legs straddle his waist. You catch yourself on his shoulders, then begin to scramble off, burning with embarrassment.

"Sorry, I'm heavy, you're injured—" you babble, picking up your leg.

"Will you quit?" Jason keeps your leg exactly where it is, tenderly stroking your ankle with his thumb. "Actin' like I'm made of whipped cream."

"You're concussed."

"Mildly."

"Stop, Jason. Please. You don't have to do this to-to prove a point. I get it, I won't talk bad about myself."

Bit hypocritical, considering some of the stuff you know for a fact Jason believes about himself.

But this is humiliating, your extremely attractive, crime-fighting best friend pretending that you haven't totally let yourself go all to bolster your ego.

"Nah, I don't think you get it," Jason says conversationally. His hand creeps under your shirt. You squirm. "I really, really don't think you get how fuckin' gone I am for ya."

"Huh?"

"Oh, yeah. Now, that's my fault, never sayin' anything. I was being cowardly. So lemme make it clear for ya, sweetheart."

His hand leaves your ankle and pulls your face to his. And then Jason kisses you.

"You're concussed," you whimper against his mouth. "Jason, you're—"

Jason laughs, low and sweet. He strokes the side of your face. "I could have amnesia and I wouldn't forget the fact that I've been in love with my best friend since I was fourteen."

"Are you sure you don't want me to move? I can—"

"No way. Y'know how long I've wanted you on me? Shit, I sound like a creep, thinking 'bout you like that, but—"

Jason rolls you both onto your sides. He hefts your leg over his, so you're slotted between each other. Then he kisses your neck, mouth hot and desperate. You gasp, belly swooping.

How long have you wanted this? How long did you believe you'd never feel this way about another person after Jason?

"I can promise you," Jason says, breathing hard against your skin. "You're a knockout. You knock me out. And I'll knock out anyone who says otherwise."

You huff and get a little braver, kissing Jason and returning him onto his back. He grins, sharp and hungry. He wants you. There's no doubt.

"I still think you're concussed," you murmur, letting him feel up your shirt. "But lucky for you, I have the utmost sympathy for poor, bedridden bats."

Jason hums, grunting when your teeth scrape his ear. "Oh, I've always known I was the lucky one, having you."

[megumimania]

CRUSH — toji fushiguro

synopsis: toji has a crush on you, too bad he’s awfully shy to make a move.

warnings: toji fushiguro x fem!reader, fluff, toji and reader are both awkward, no curse au, minor mentions of shiu and megumi, toji finally beating the deadbeat dad allegations.

toji fushiguro felt absolutely pathetic right now.

love had never been his strong suit. in fact he was convinced he was going to die alone until he met megumi’s mom. in the brief time they were together toji felt love’s greatest pleasures until she passed, leaving him with his greatest blessing megumi.

megumi was the excuse he used these days when shiu often asked him when he was going to get himself back out there again. it was easy for shiu to say when all he had to do was to turn up his charm and work that smile to get the ladies to fall head over heels for him.

toji however was a bit rusty in that department. rusty was the lighter way of putting it. his flirting skills were essentially made redundant by the time he managed to pull megumi’s mom.

to this day he doesn’t know how he managed to do it, when all he had was shitty dark jokes and a dream. plus he had a cute body that probably really sold it for her.

how he missed her so much at times.

he wasn’t oblivious, he knew he was a fairly attractive man. he saw the way women and men alike would ogle at him, hushed whispers being exchanged as he walked past them. often breaking into giggles like they were giddy teenagers. the attention that he received was nice but he didn’t pay it much mind, especially since it wasn’t the attention he wanted.

you were the pretty face that was bartending at the old bar he frequented at.

after he was stood up on a date, you placed a consolatory drink at his table that you insisted was on the house, no matter how hard he tried to pay. it seemed that you won the battle in the end as he slumped back into his seat in resignation, raising up the glass as a silent thank you.

that small act of kindness stayed with toji for a while. he found himself gravitating towards the bar, just so he could see you. he wasn’t even a drinker with alcohol having little to no effect on him but he bought drinks anyway, hoping he could turn your brief interactions into something more.

god he was losing it.

but this was worth it when you flashed him a smile that made his heart stutter, before turning back to deal with the other patrons at the bar. he watched you make the rounds whilst simultaneously trying to brush off poor pick up lines and flirty advances from tipsy patrons.

toji waited until the end of your shift as per usual watching the last of the patrons leave the bar. the nippy weather making him wish he wore a heavier jacket. looking at the time on his watch, he figured that shiu wouldn’t complain having to babysit megumi for another 20-30 minutes.

you waved bye to your coworkers as you left the bar spotting toji leaning on one of the lampposts waiting for you. it had been a common occurence ever since a creep who couldn't take no for an answer tried to follow you home and luckily toji was there before shit hit the fan.

“thanks for waiting for me.” you tried to cool your nerves and keep your mind off the fact how he good he looked under the pale moonlight. it was hard to not be stuttering mess around toji, his tall imposing stature was one that often pushed others away but it drew you in like a moth to a flame.

“how was work?” a simple question that should encourage the simple response of it was fine or it was alright. however you short circuited, your brain lagging for a few minutes whilst toji split his attention on the road ahead and you, ever so patient.

"it was fine." you spluttered out after a couple of minutes, embarrasment creeping up behind you. god why couldn't you respond like a normal, cool person. you chided yourself quietly, hoping he wouldn't pick up on it.

toji was lucky that it was late at night, with the shadows hiding the ghost of a smile on his face. he adored every single thing about you. the rest of the walk was punctuated with heavy silence, both of you too tired and awkward to engage in deep conversations but you tried where you could.

"so, uh what plans do you have for the weekend?" you asked, trying to sound casual. it was small talk, not invasive you hoped. toji racked through his mind trying to find the most appropriate answer to the question. sure he could say he was busy but what if you wanted to invite him somewhere during the weekend?

he had to seem available but not too available where you’d think he was a jobless bum. you were a couple of minutes away from your apartment where you lived when toji finally replied.

“not much.” he replied trying to maintain a level of nonchalance in his tone. “just work and then takin' my kid to get his flu shot."

toji watched your eyes light up at the mention of his son megumi and for some odd reason it made his heart flutter more than it should've. another awkward silence passed between you both until you felt confident enough to break it.

"so..uh are you free on sunday?" you asked, rumbling around your bags for your keys to get into the apartment and it was also so you could mask the potential disappointment on your face if he declined. it was so embarrassing how he made you feel so giddy inside.

“why?” he smirked knowingly, deepening the scar on his lips even more. “you tryna ask me out or somethin’?” was that too forward? toji does not know where this sudden boost in confidence came from but he rides the waves of it, not wanting to lose the momentum in the moment.

the flustered look on your face says it all, as you feel the heat rise to your cheeks. “well…uh…yes?” you replied with a sheepishness evident in your tone, playing with the straps of your bag to avoid his gaze.

now it’s toji’s turn to reply and hopefully he prays that he doesn’t fuck this up. “i’d love t—” a vibration from his pocket interrupts the moment. he let’s the phone ring out, not bothered by shiu’s incoming meltdown for when he did eventually pick up the phone.

he wasn’t expecting that.

“ignore that…but um yeah i’d love to go out with you.” he rubbed the back of his neck, not knowing how to proceed. usually in his romantic conquests toji was usually the pursuer not the pursued so this shift in dynamic was something new entirely for him.

however he wasn't complaining, for a beautiful woman like you, he would walk the ends if the earth for you if asked. he knows it sounds pathetic but he didn't care, for right now he was the happiest man alive.

toji may have been a novice, an apprentice in love as they say but maybe that inexperience was worth it because after a bunch of bad dates he finally found you.

[urrockstar-xe]

3 teen boys vs 1 pretty girl - j.m x fem!reader

posted feb 10th, 2024 10:24 pm

heres another belated v day post!! :D im working my way up guys look at me go, im running out of valentine themed songs though if you have recs and see this before the 14th pls send them to me!!

summary: John B and Pope have to help out JJ when he's under too much stress over a pretty girl, not proofread, use of Y/n.

masterlist

wordcount: 1.0k

JJ wasn’t one for romantics, never was, never will be. He’s never witnessed real romance outside of TV shows and movies, although now that he has, with his best friend falling in love, JJ still just didn’t quite get it.

Until he met You, of course, because every sweet, enchanting, and cheesy love story has to start with the player meeting the one.

The one that broke down every little wall with a soft smile and pretty eyes. The one who saves everything while simultaneously ruining it all. 

At least in JJ’s eyes. 

“Dude, just admit you like her” Pope’s words went in one ear and out the other as JJ groaned into the old pillow, dramatically falling onto John B’s couch. “I think he did, just not in a comprehensible way” John B chuckled, shoving JJ’s feet off of his lap.

JJ groaned once more before shifting positions and sitting up on the opposite end of JB. “I don’t know what it is, man. She comes in, introduces herself with a pretty little voice, batting her pretty little eyelashes, smiling a pretty little smile on her pretty little face.” JJ’s voice was laced with irritation, his friends just laughed in response. 

“I think JJ thinks Y/n is pretty, Pope.” “No way, really?” Another round of laughter between the two boys made JJ scoff before chuckling a bit as well, he rubbed at his eyes. 

JJ’s laughter ended with a sigh, “She’s makin’ me crazy.” John B smiled at his friend, nudging his shoulder. “They have that effect huh?” JB remarked, sharing a knowing look with Pope before Pope pulled JJ up off the couch.

“What am I gonna do? I mean, I gotta really wow this girl, man I mean, she’s perfect” JJ gushed as he stared back at his friend who merely smiled back and shook his head. “Valentine’s Day is tomorrow, why don’t you go work that out with John B and I’ll continue studying.” Pope proposed the idea as JB stood up, patting JJ on the back before nearly dragging him out of the chateau by the back of his hoodie. 

“C’mon, we’re gonna make sure you get your girl by tomorrow night”

JJ and John B loaded up into the Twinkie, heading straight for the closest convenience store. JB distracted his lovelorn friend with loud music that the two teenage boys happily and obnoxiously sang along to. Once they finally pulled up to the store and went inside, John B led JJ to the aisle filled with red and pink colored cardboard, and heart-shaped candies.

“Dude, I don’t even know what kind of candy she likes,” JJ sighed, both boys scanning the wall of options. “This is gonna be harder than I thought.” John B mumbled. 

“It’s all just one big guessing game-” John B got cut off by the store clerk noticing them. 

“Maybank, I better not catch you stealin’ nothin'.” His gruffy booming voice caught their attention, heads turning towards the sound in sync. “Course not, Mr. Wade!” JJ waved, a small smile on his lips as the clerk shook his head and went back to his initial goal, leaving them alone once more. 

JJ watched as John B grabbed one of the blue baskets and started throwing random candy boxes into it. “What are you doing?” JJ furrowed his eyebrows. “She’s gotta like at least one of these, let’s just buy it all” John B shrugged, handing the basket to JJ who turned his attention towards the box full of small stuffed animals. 

JJ picked up a small cat before looking at the little dog holding a love heart. “Do you think she’s more of a dog person or a cat person?” “Which one do you want her to be?” 

JJ abandoned the cat and threw the dog in the basket, just as John B grabbed a pink bag covered in white hearts and threw it on top of their Valentine's treasures. 

“This should be enough right?” John B asked, earning a slightly concerned look from JJ. 

“Aren’t you supposed to be the professional here? I’m just the student!” JJ followed him to the counter and helped throw everything in front of Mr. Wade. 

“JJ, I don’t think people see either of us and think of the word professional.” and of course, he couldn’t argue with that.

JJ was left to his own devices the rest of the night, John B had a date with Sarah. 

He did his best at setting up the bag of goodies, before deciding it was good enough because nothing would be as perfect as you no matter how much he tried. 

Finally, Wednesday had come and right around the time you made it outside of your school building you were met with the sight of the Twinkie, eyes watching it as you laughed at something one of your friends said. You said your goodbyes before making your way to the old van just as JJ Maybank came out of the driver’s side and leaned on the passenger’s door. 

“Thought you dropped out, JJ.” You smiled at the blond, who happily mirrored you as he approached him. “You know, gotta come back every once in a while, see how the place is holdin’ up without me.” He shrugged, earning a chuckle from you.

JJ cleared his throat, standing up straight. “I wanted to surprise you. Ask you to be my Valentine.” Your smile got softer, that sweet look on your face almost making JJ chicken out but now he was too deep in. 

“So ask me,” you said softly, after a moment of waiting for him to continue. JJ laughed, shaking his head. “Right, yeah, sorry. Will you be my Valentine, pretty lady?” His voice was quieter than you were used to hearing, you couldn’t help but cover your face as you felt heat spread across your cheeks. JJ chuckled at your reaction before leaning forward just enough to remove your hands from your face. 

“Whadya say?” You smiled at him as he held onto your hands, whispering now that you were so close. “I’ll be your Valentine any day of the week, J.” He smiled back, pressing a quick kiss to your cheek before letting go of your hands and opening the passenger door, revealing the very same bag that was currently overflowing. 

“Awh, babe.” You smiled at the sight, picking up the little dog plush. 

“Hope you’re a dog person,” He said, grabbing the bag’s handles so you could get in the van. 

“And that you have a severe sweet tooth.” 

[whoopsies-daisies]

Ok so i noticed that in the last two seasons they really toned down fives unhinged behavior and wild facial expressions and i am not having it. The first two seasons showed an incredible range of intense emotions from five as well as the range of Aidan's acting, which seasond three and four seem to lack. It really feels like they abandoned his character in those seasons too, which many people have pointed out, but it also feels like they abandoned the wild, erratic energy from his character - and we all know that man is off the rails - in favor of making him more attractive. I don't know if anyone else has noticed this, but i just KNOW they were waiting for Aidan Gallagher to turn 18 so they could give him some kind of creepy barely legal sex appeal, and throw him into a romantic relationship with whoever was closest to him. It was very clear in seasons one and two that five was simultaneously a tired old man and a feral teenager. He acted both of his ages and didn't care how people saw him besides his stoic facade. In the past seasons he just feels like a slightly over mature twenty year old and not actually like an old man, because the viewers wouldn't find that as attractive. this is honestly the best explanation i could find or come up with that would describe the major shift in characterization for five. The writers clearly don't care about the characters anymore, and are just relying on shock value and sex appeal to keep their viewers hooked, which is also how we got that weird little five and lila pairing. They could have just made them grow closer as friends and family members but that wouldn't have had as much shock to it as a both characters abandoning things that were previously so dear to them with no explanation other than "they were lonely and near each other".

Let me know your opinions because I'm honestly at a loss, even here I'm not quite sure what I'm talking about. All i know is, the whole show would have been better off without season four.

[phosph-ate]

Tether

Dr. Phosphorus x GN!Reader

Rick is sent to collect someone from inside of seemingly haunted woods. He realizes he's bit off more than he can chew a little too late.

CW: violence, gun violence, swearing, canon divergence, no use of y/n

Word Count: 2k

A/N: they/them used for reader!! this veers away from the show. it is not set in it. it's just an idea i had and i want to run with it. it probably won't be too many parts/chapters. also, there is an oc in here, she is important to the story. just in case you have feelings about ocs! reader's abilities will be touched on more thoroughly next chapter! divider made by cafekitsune

The woods were considered haunted. They had not always been that way. In fact, they used to be beautiful and lively. But now, a heavy fog and dark shadows shroud them. Not a peep could be heard from inside once in them.

“This can’t be normal.”

“No, Phosphorus,” Rick sighed, “it fucking can’t be normal.”

Bride, Nina, and Weasel stood a little behind Phosphorus, who was directly behind Rick. After what seemed like an hour of trekking through the heavily wooded area, they stumbled upon a cabin.

“This is it.” Nina chimed in from behind them. “This is what the hunter described.”

“You all wait back here,” Rick begins to walk towards the cabin. “I’ll handle this for now.”

Phosphorus groaned but stayed put. The only one seemingly not antsy was Weasel. He stood there, patiently. Or as patiently as he could.

Rick walked onto the porch. He immediately noticed spots of blood scattered on it. The wood creaked loudly; it was very noticeable considering how silent the area had been. Before he could even knock the door was swung open. Someone who could not be older than sixteen stood in front of Rick. She was chewing, no smacking, some gum.

“Who the fuck are you?” The teenager looked Rick up and down, staring at him with distaste.

“I was about to ask you the same question.”

The girl peeked over Rick’s shoulder and noticed the group a little way from the porch. She rolled her eyes. “Well,” She stepped to the side. “I guess you can come in.”

“Huh?” Phosphorus was loud and confused. “You’re going to let some monsters into your home.”

“Not my home.” She shrugged. “Anyway, we’ve been expecting you.”

“We?” Bride asked. “Where is the owner?”

“Resting.” The girl seemed too calm. Rick hummed a response. The girl walked back to the couch and picked up a controller and continued playing some old game. “Any of you want to play with me?” She motioned to another controller. “We’ve got plenty of games! Diddy Kong Racing, Mario 64, and Donkey Kong!” She was excited to share. “I’m positive I’d kick all of your asses simultaneously at any of the games… But I’m not going to stop you from playing.”

Phosphorus looked down the hall. His head cocked to the side. “Where is the owner?” He sounded more assertive than Bride had earlier. “There is no way some kid is living out in these creepy woods by herself.”

“I said they’re resting.” The teenager snapped. “Now get your ass back in here. They don’t like people pokin’ around. I’d hate to see what would happen if they came out to you looking through their home.”

Phosphorus walked towards the steps and huffed. “We need to see them. Who are they? More importantly, who are you?” The doctor turned his head towards the girl.

“I’m Oli.” She gave her name quickly. “And I thought you knew who they were.” Oli mimicked Phosphorus’ huff. “Why else would you be here?”

“We’re here because people have been going missing in these woods. One man got away and was heavily traumatized.”

Oli went pale. “Not people.” She was short. She turned back to her game. She began to play again, and Phosphorus groaned.

“Look, kid!” He shouted. He started to walk towards Oli, and she froze. She went pale. A scream ripped from her throat, and she began to wail for something. For someone. A name Rick was not familiar with ripped through the air, straight from Oli’s lungs.

The house began to shift. The floor creaked and the lights flickered. The TV shut off and Oli fell off the couch and hit the floor, covering her face, still screaming.

“I’m not-” Phosphorus had no time to defend himself.

The wall behind the TV, closest to Oli, became covered in shadows. A black ooze dripped from the center of the wall. A loud crack, the crack of bones, came from the other side of the wall. Wind whipped outside and suddenly birds could be heard all around. The silence had been broken in the worst way possible.

Fingers creeped out from the wall, and then a hand was visible. It grabbed the wall, pulling whoever it belonged to out from the shadows. Bones continued to crack as whatever the fuck was coming from the shadows made its way into reality.

“What the fuck!?” Phosphorus screamed.

A distorted yell came from the person and once they dragged themselves from the shadows, they stood over Oli, protecting her. Their eyes were pitch black, no sclera, and their body cracked as they stood up straight.

“That must be the owner.” Nina said, eyes wide and full of shock.

You had been trying your best to replenish your energy. To recover from the earlier visit. But when you felt Oli’s fear and heard her screaming you could no longer rest. You pulled yourself together long enough to crawl out from your hiding spot.

When you stood over her fearful form and looked up to see the exact people she said would be paying you a visit you groaned.

“Oli,” Your voice was distorted. You peeked down at her before looking back around the room, assessing the situation. “You’re okay.” Your voice slowly returned to something more normal. “Aren’t these the people who you said were coming?”

“Yes.” She sat up and looked up at you with a smile. “They wanted to meet you!” She grinned, proud of herself.

“Excuse me?” You scoffed at her, “You just did all of that for me to come out? You couldn’t just say ‘Hey! The people from the fucking prophecy are here!’ That would be just as effective, Olympia.”

Oli stood up. “Do not call me Olympia.” She gave you a nasty look. “You are not my-” She paused. She took in a deep breath and looked at the TV. “Anyway,” She turned it back on, “I gotta restart my game now. Because you turned the TV off when you showed up.” Her voice was low. “Go take care of whatever the fuck they need you for.”

You narrowed your eyes at Oli and turned back to the group of people in your home. “Sorry about, uh, earlier,” You gave them a nervous smile. Your eyes had returned to their normal color, “unless of course you came to kill me. Then I’m not sorry and you will not be leaving this property-”

“We are not here to kill you. My name is Rick, and we are investigating the missing people-”

You interrupted him. “Missing? They’re where they belong. Those men were fucking evil.” You rolled your eyes. “I try to keep this place unreachable. And yet, some people just cannot help themselves.” You glanced towards Oli. “Look, I’ll let you all go. I’ll make a path for you. It’ll be safe. I’ll even let a little sun come in, but I’m not going anywhere. We aren’t going anywhere.”

Rick ran a hand through his hair. “That hunter that escaped, was he…-”

“Oh!” You waved a hand around, “He was just a hunter. Happened to see a little too much, but he seemed like a nice enough guy.” You walked towards your front door and opened it. “I hate that I didn’t get to know all of your names, but… goodbye!” You smiled widely at them and motioned for them to leave.

“No.” Rick stood his ground. “What the fuck are you two doing out here? You just have this kid out in the middle of nowhere, where are her parents?”

“Dead.” Oli looked back from the TV and at Rick. “My family is fucking dead.” She paused her game and stood up. “Did Waller not tell you that? Or did she not know?” Oli snapped. She walked past you and straight towards Rick.

“Who’s Waller?” You asked, while quickly placing yourself in the middle of her and Rick. “What are you not telling me, Oli?”

Rick looked down at Oli with the amount of confusion you seemed to be in. “We were not aware you were here. We were told to bring them,” he pointed to you, “in. That is the extent of our knowledge.”

Oli’s nails were digging into her palms. Something in her seemed to snap. “You are not doing that!” She snarled at Rick. You tried to calm her. “That is not- I didn’t see that! You’re supposed to help us!” She had tears in her eyes.

“Olympia!” You grabbed her face. “What are you talking about?”

Her eyes glazed over, and her knees buckled. You were quick to grab her and hold her up and keep her from hitting the floor.

“What is happening?”

You looked up to see the obviously irradiated skeleton speaking. “She- She’s-” You did not get to finish your sentence. Oli sucked in air harshly, and her eyes widened. She looked at you in fear. You felt every ounce of her fear. Your stomach flipped.

“Oli,” your voice was soft, “What did you see?”

“Me-” She sucked down a sob, tears filling her eyes. “Dead.”

You sat at the kitchen table with Oli. You had insisted your visitors leave, she insisted on them staying. Because of that, you had learned who each of them was. Bride, Dr. Phosphorus, Nina, and your personal favorite: Weasel.

You grabbed water for Oli and sat down beside her. “It could be nothing.” You tried to reassure her, keep her calm.

“My visions are never ‘nothing’.” Oli sipped on her water. She sighed and looked past you and at the group of people in your home. “I haven’t been telling you everything…” She shut her eyes tight and gripped the glass in her hand. “The people who are coming to these woods, they aren’t coming for me. They’re coming for you.” She looked at you with a scared look.

“Well,” Dr. Phosphorus clapped his hands together and began to walk towards you, “we’d better get you out of here then!”

“I can’t leave her!” You snapped at him.

At the same time, Oli whispered “I can’t leave them.” She sounded defeated.

“Why?” Nina cocked her head. “Do you not have anyone else?”

You were growing frustrated. “No!” You pulled Oli into your arms and stood over her as she sat at the table. “Her family is gone! She was wanted for her abilities. I took her in and she’s safe with me-”

“I’m their tether.” Oli sounded distant. You froze, arms falling slightly, but not leaving her sides. You were shocked she would give that information away so freely. “If I die-” She stopped talking and closed her eyes tight.

“What is she talking about?” Rick swallowed hard. Things got a lot harder if what she was saying was true.

“I’m their tether,” She repeated. “You know how when a baby duck imprints on, like, a human?” She looked back at the group of monsters standing in your home.

“What does that have to do with this?” Bride crossed her arms.

“We found each other in times of need. And somehow, their need was much greater than mine. I’m keeping them sort of… holding onto humanity.”

You were standing there silent. She was talking like you were not even there. So, you decided to speak up. “If she dies, I’ll feel it. And I’m afraid of what I will do.” You watched the group, face deadpan. “I’m not leaving here. We are both safe here.”

There was a heavy silence before Dr. Phosphorus spoke up. “That’s too fucking bad, we need you to come with us.”

You groaned. And then you felt it. Something was getting close to your cabin. Your hair stood on end, your head snapped towards the window behind you and walked towards it. Oli pouted, she knew what that meant by now. You tried to pinpoint where they were coming from. Your head began to pound.

“What are you do-”

The window shattered and a bullet flew through, hitting you straight in the forehead. You heard Oli scream. Her fear was palpable. She was at your side in a second. “There’s blood!” Oli wailed. “They can’t even bleed!” Her screams wrecked you. Everything went black.

[th3sungod]

parkner au where harley technically remembers peter, and is very concerned that tony suddenly stopped talking about him one day.

he remembers hearing about tony's insanely smart intern and how he rivals even tony's genius ( harley would beg to differ on principal but tony never says that about anyone ) so he assumes the kid must be special. he absentmindedly assumed the kid was spider-man, and when he asked, tony simply told him 'i can neither confirm nor deny' which basically answer that question.

but, he never got a name for the intern. spider-man. the kid. underoos. spider-boy. spiderling. 'one of the two people fully responsible for every grey hair on his head' -- all names used, but never explicitly stating a name.

and, when after nearly a month and a half of not hearing a thing from Tony about him, he asks. at first he assumes he has no new stories since it's been a hot minute since Tony's even been able to do anything other than sit in bed and recover, but something isn't sitting right with him. he asks where's the intern been, and says as much about not hearing anything, throwing in a joke or two about leaving him on the side of the road, but Tony is silent.

"Who?"

"Uhh- your intern? Spider-man? Don't tell me you're already forgetting in your old age." Harley jokes dryly.

Except, Tony actually has no clue why Harley would think Spider-man interns for him. And, he doesn't seem to remember any instances he'd brought up when trying to jog his memory. He says he remembers Spidey helping for a few different things, but never stayed to chat and never revealed his identity.

So, given that it's not particularly out of the question, he automatically assume an alien has taken over Tony Stark's body and calls Pepper. And Pepper knows nothing. And after a very frantic bout of questioning, he takes the initiative to drive all the way to New York.

He doesn't know The Avengers, he talked to Rhodes and Vision maybe once at Tony's wedding, but something is most obviously wrong so his first thought is to tell them. Get there before whatever took over Tony's body, or is impersonating him, or something doesn't have the time to infiltrate the world's mightiest heroes.

No one knows anything. Happy said he drove him once, but he was in full costume and he doesn't remember the starting address off the top of his head. He feels like he's going crazy. He tells Tony as much.

He tells Tony about the kid from Queens he picked up basically off the side of the road, gave him a new suit, and every single story he can remember Tony told him about Spidey. It's a fucking long shot, but he recounts the Vulture incident and about how he took the suit, so he has to know who's under the mask.

Eventually, Tony tries picking out specifics about the dates Harley mentions, and can't honestly tell him what happened otherwise -- other than things that definitely don't add up.

Harley, now trying to think back to ever since time Tony even mentioned the kid, while simultaneously trying to figure out why the vigilante has been subsequently missing since around the time Tony stopped mentioning him, puts himself to work immediately. He said the kid had an aunt, he doesn't know her name. He went to one of the best STEM schools in New York, but he doesn't know which one. But, there are discrepancies. The AI he knows Tony made the kid is still functioning, though it won't locate since the HUDs been off for nearly a month.

Slowly, Harley finds himself spending every waking hour thinking of Spider-man, one of the world's finest, who simply fell off the face of the earth. And, by the time he finds concrete proof in the form of a picture and a name, Tony finally brings him to a resident wizard to help. There are no files on Peter Parker anywhere, so maybe magic will help?

What they find is a scrawny teenager half dead in an abandoned train station, wearing what's left of a spider-suit underneath dingy clothes. he's balled up, and doesn't hold a lick of peace in sleep.

he despises, then and there, he isn't leaving New York until whatever happened is fixed, and everyone remembers peter again. he doesn't know why any of this happened, but he's gonna damn help as much as he can.

( harley would've definitely heard the news of some teenager being outed as being spidey, but he never got a name. he did see a picture, so any memories of the outing are wiped from his mind. )

[coochiequeens]

There's something satisfying about when an abusive man is called out by other men. Or at least one man.

Rest In Infamy, You Haunted Castle

Why I believe the Neil Gaiman accusations

By GRAHAM LINEHAN JUL 19, 2024

I only met Neil Gaiman once, at an upscale dinner party where Derren Brown had been hired to do magic tricks like in the old-timey days. Between astonishments, Gaiman and I withdrew to a quiet corner where I pretended to be pleased that he was giving me a signed copy of ‘Sandman’. One of the unexpected advantages of being cancelled is telling people who took part in my harassment what I really think about their work, but this was a long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away, so I said the right things and we went back to being bamboozled by Brown’s invisible craft.

To give credit where it’s due, I later read Gaiman’s ‘Coraline’ to my kids which had them simultaneously terrified and hooked, and thanked him for it. Whatever my feelings about his earlier work, he was a real writer, practising his own invisible craft. From the evidence of that book, I thought he was probably a decent person too, an impression that continued until 2022, when we started to get into it over The Issue.

I may have asked why he wasn’t speaking out on behalf of JK Rowling, who was undergoing one of her regular cancellations for refusing to pander to the spoilt brats who loved her books but missed their meaning. A big name like his might have shifted the conversation and given her some much-needed support. He might perhaps have persuaded some of his fans to give the matter another look. This was when I assumed people like him acknowledged biological reality but worried about ‘coming out of the closet’, as it were. It took me years to realise that almost every celebrity mate of mine believed, or was pretending to believe, in the fashionable, American mind-cancer of ’gender’.

But back then, I was still astonished to find that he was a carrier of the virus, the mass delusion that by sheer coincidence, turned up after the arrival of the Internet. Whether it was Bill Bailey or Neil Hannon, Robin Ince or Matt Lucas, Arthur Mathews or Jimmy Mulville, it was always the same story. A sudden cloud of amnesia would form around my celebrity mates, a real peasouper, from which they suddenly could not see why we need female-only spaces, or why unhappy teenage girls will not find a miraculous cure for their woes in a double mastectomy. Far from sharing any of my urgency in the need to stop children from being irreversibly harmed in gender clinics, they instead downplayed, deflected and dismissed. “I never ask you to join in with my animal activism” grumbled Neil Hannon on one of the occasions I begged for his support.

“Couldn’t you pretend women and children are animals?” I thought.

My usual trajectory during these conversations saw me shifting from gobsmacked disbelief to fury and despair. The disloyalty made me angry, but knowing my friends did not care about their own daughters, wives, sisters and mothers was, and continues to be, destabilising in the extreme.

Gaiman went one step further. I can’t find the tweet, so I may be paraphrasing, but he said

"I hope you're kinder if your daughter ever hopes to transition."

I can think of no uglier thing to say to a parent. For girls, ‘transition’ means double mastectomies in their teens, hysterectomies in their mid-twenties, early menopause and a four times greater chance of having a heart attack than males of the same age. To have this decaying goth wish that horror on my daughter was more than I could bear. I wanted to rip his throat out.

Like a pair of grappling cowboys falling off a rooftop, our fight spilled into email. I sent Gaiman this article about the Tavistock. It was clear when he wrote back that he hadn’t absorbed it Like most celebrities in this fight, he appeared to have lost the ability to read.

“As I said before Graham, I hope that you'd be kinder if it was one of your kids who wanted to transition. “

He actually said it again. The piece was right there, detailing exactly what was happening to the children unlucky enough to wander through the Tavistock’s doors, and he chose to repeat that disgusting thing. Why?

That same year, just months before Gaiman was advising me on the value of kindness, a 22-year-old woman (‘Scarlett’ in the podcast) arrived at his Waiheke Island home in New Zealand for a babysitting job. Upon her arrival, she discovered that Gaiman’s wife of the time, Amanda Palmer, had suddenly remembered a sleepover, an appointment the child was apparently eager to attend.

So she and junior drove out of view, leaving the 23 -year-old Scarlett alone with Gaiman for the night. Within a few hours the 61-year-old man, without warning or invitation, appeared fully naked and slipped into the other end of her bath. Scarlett alleges that over the next three weeks, they embarked on a semi-consensual relationship, where Gaiman routinely ignored the boundaries she set. She alleges that he became angry when she would refuse these demands, used a belt to beat her, insisted she call him ‘Master’ and once sexually assaulted her so violently that she lost consciousness.

“… (the sex) was so painful and so violent that I fainted. I passed out, lost consciousness, ringing in the ears, black vision, the pain was celestial, you know, which is a strange word to use, but I couldn't even describe it in language. And when I regained consciousness and I was on the ground, I looked up and he was watching the rehearsals from Scotland of whatever they were filming, I don't fucking know. And he didn't even notice that I was passed out. And you know…there was blood. It was so so, so traumatic, and I asked him to stop. I said it was too much.”

Scarlett is a compelling witness despite, or because of, her contradictions. Certain things paint a picture of consent—she sexted Gaiman, to which he would send careful replies—and she laughs nervously when she talks about the alleged abuse. But when Gaiman’s side of the story is put to her, she turns cold as a knife and shows flashes of fury that she—in her telling—young, inexperienced and dazzled by Palmer and Gaiman’s fame and lifestyle, was used so casually and so brutally.

A few years back, I wrote about becoming a sort of Jessica Fletcher figure on Twitter. ‘Murder, She Wrote” but with paedophiles and predators. “Just as murderers seemed drawn to any location Jessica presented herself, “ I said. “My opining about women's rights and safety on Twitter appeared to attract the kind of men who can't sit still during a spelling bee.”

Among my adversaries was Peter Bright, the Ars Technica writer now doing twelve years for trying to buy two children to abuse. Luckily the children didn’t exist and the parents were actually FBI agents. Our exchange was brief and concerned safeguarding. I’m sure you’re all astonished to discover that he was against it.

Then there was ex-Labour MP Eric Joyce, who argued with me about the safety of mixed-sex loos in schools and was done for possessing the worst kind of child abuse images. More recently, I tangled with ‘Lexi’, who is now serving time for rape.

They all had one thing in common. They couldn’t leave alone those of us who were actively opposing the trans movement's assault on safeguarding, an assault that chimed nicely with their plans for the future. Each was returning to the scene of a crime not yet committed, each picking at a scab on their own character.

In 2018, at the height of #MeToo, Gaiman tweeted “On a day like today it’s worth saying, I believe survivors. Men must not close their eyes and minds to what happens to women in this world. We must fight, alongside them, for them to be believed, at the ballot box, and with art, and by listening, and change this world for the better.”

Well said. I certainly believe the women in ‘Master’. During my Jessica Fletcher period (a period which continues) no-one except Gaiman ever mentioned my kids. I think he knew it would cause me distress, and the second time he said it was just a twisting of the knife. Many of my colleagues in the media joined in with the trashing of my reputation, but Gaiman went that extra mile. I believe this is because he is a sadist. I think he is a man who finds pleasure in the suffering of others, and a man who does not see women and girls as fully human.

This was my final letter to him.

Dear Neil

I notice you’re still pretending you can’t read the Tavistock story. If you ever try and lay that curse on my kids again I will certainly share our exchange. Your privileged beliefs are harming children so to paraphrase Will Smith, keep their names out of your fucking mouth.

Thank you for giving me one last chance to say that JK Rowling will be remembered as a hero and you as a traitor to the kids who loved your books.

Rest in infamy, you haunted castle.

All the best,

Graham.

[ruoshik0]

Tim Wayne and Timothy Drake

Do not let yourself get fooled. Because while Tim Wayne and Timothy Drake are one and the same, they are also not. There are tell tale signs of which one you are facing and if you don’t know the difference- depending on who is in front if you- you will get… surprised, at the minimum. At the maximum, you will either lose all of your family fortune and go bankrupt after an indefinate amount of time or your hubris will be shreded in the politest and simultaneously the most vicious way possible.

This is also not the case of DID, otherwise known as Dissociative idendity disorder. Tim and Timothy are both one and the same, no gaps in memory, just masks for different occasions.

Specifically differant masks for the Drake name and the Wayne name.

Tim discovered- not early, but somewhere along the line- that at their core, the Waynes value family over business- mostly. Moral codes and emotional intelligence are huge obstacles but in the end, everyone comes around. Every once in a while there’s this rare moment that everyone is in peace with one another. Tim likes it. Happy family. The Tim Wayne mask was created to fit in with everyone, less of a soldier for The Mission and more of a teenager with specific intrests.

Tim Wayne is a dork, a nerd. Dungeons and Dragons, anime and manga. Caffiene is his life (mostly) and power naps all over strange places are fun!

He is also a pretty one. Wolf cut framing his face nicely, dark circles contributing to his looks than not. Pale blue eyes and the mischief barely hidden.

His fashion choices on the other hand? Mess. A very fashionable mess with unholy amounts of chains as accesories. Black converse? Check. Mostly black clothing? Check? Practical and easy to move in? Check and check. Casual skater drip bordering vampire-esque aesthetic and emo vibes? It’s because of the amount of black and red he wears. And then the accesories. Oh GOD the accesories.

Rings? So many checks there. The double rings with chains connecting them? Yeah, looks so beautiful on him too. The multiple (two (2)) claw rings on left hand. It just makes him seem cooler than he actuslly is. The ones with crystals? Unique designs? What about the rest of his body? The chains on his pants? The chains around his neck? The CHAINS connecting some of his pockets?

All that with his skateboard. HOW IS HE NOT DIED YET?!

Then there’s Timothy Drake. A highly respected, skilled beyond belief, and a professional high society socialite. Purposefully styled hair that borders a little messy. It looks amicable. No dark circles- a clear skin that makes even women jealous, probably.

A cold pair of eyes and a barely smile, more a smirk plastered on his face. There’s no sign of weakness in this young man. He get what he wanted with barely effort. Just steer the conversation naturrally, let them think they’re in control. Sinking his little Drake sharpened claws on anyone stupid enough to show weskness. While he is not as good as Cassandra Wayne, his body language reading skills are nothing to laugh at.

Timothy Drake is confident, he doesn’t overshare. Every move, every word he says is planned. There’s not an ounce of failure in his blood, for he has many contingency plans to get what he wants. The dominoes that are carefully being placed- preparations.

Timothy Drake doesn’t DO emotions. Because, to be a Drake, one must value Business over anything else. And that’s setting aside every other Drake family rules.

His old money style directly contridicts his skater boy style. Because The Waynes and The Drakes are complete opposites. While the bats invade privacy to show care for one another, the dragons don’t even stay long enough to appreciate the company of one another.

And isn’t that funny? Most bats live in colonies, together. And most dragons are solitary creatures. Just the families that are represented by them too.

He wonders if one day, he would be able find a fine line that represents Timothy Jackson Drake-Wayne.

[eldest-of-katts]

okay because people have shown up in my dms talking smack I'm going to make one blanket statement on the 1000 year loli chilchuck thing.

yes, there has been a problem with young girls being put in suggestive positions in anime with the "uhmmm she's actually a bajillion years old" excuse. yes, other characters don't treat chilchuck like an adult. yes, he is short with big eyes.

However, chilchuck consistently acts like a grown man. he- in both the manga and the anime- straight up just is an adult. He looks like an adult when he is any other race during the swaps in the manga. When the other characters get turned into half-foots they look similar to chilchuck. He is explicitly stated to have more dungeon and general life experience than laios, and he acts like it.

The 1000 year loli trope explicitly functions as an excuse to prey on people who are inexperienced and unable to advocate for themselves. Chilchuck is a parent, is a union organizer, has explicit boundaries that he enforces rigidly, and he is treated as an adult man by everyone who doesn't have a fantasy racism-focused character arc/issue.

I can see how if you haven't read the manga and seen that he has an established life that he later reveals (and haven't paid attention to him in the anime lol) you could get a mistaken impression about him. Marcielle does too in the source material! It's part of her character at the start of her arc that she has issues with longevity!

The thing that irks me a little about this interpretation is that it leans into the child-coded discourse that was prominent a while ago (she's short!!!!! but has boob???? ILLEGAL!!1!) and it does a disservice to the themes of infantilization as a policy maneuver hurting the working class.

I saw chilchuck and his labor advocacy for half-foots both as a metaphor for racism (obvious take ik) and for ageism.

The working gen z as a cohort are being infantilized and pushed out of job markets due to infantilization, similar to half-foots in the show. gen z is being maliciously portrayed as too young to vote, enter office, know themselves, know their rights, and take advantage of their resources. Simultaneously, child labor protections and protections against workplace abuse are being rolled back in the US. In Japan, young people are being worked to the bone for nothing and are becoming disenfranchised as a generation while simultaneously expected to be the labor faction that supports the postwar generations in their old age.

Chilchuck's being treated poorly I saw as a clever commentary on the ways infantilization allows for protections to be stripped away under the guise that "oh it's just a job for teenagers- they don't need more than minimum wage" or "let the kids rescue the economy! they're always complaining about that job market!" while simultaneously stripping away rights under the guise of protection- "We can't have that on the internet! think of the children!" "to protect these young people we must raise the age of medical consent for hormones/reproductive health decisions!"

Kui's work with this series spoke to me on many levels, and specifically, the infantilization issue touched me in a way that few other pieces of media have. The struggle to be taken seriously in a stem field as someone young, as someone female, and as someone who had a high-pitched voice to the point I did years of voice training to be taken seriously, chilchuck's character resonated. I (kinda) understand your instinct to think "SHORT! CHILD! RALLY THE MASSES AND KILL THE PEDOS!!1!" but in this case, it's misdirected- mostly because the author was trying to use this misdirection to prove something to you, the reader.

Kui consistently makes cutting commentary on modern issues, the show's take on food neutrality as its headliner, but also the author's takes on cultural issues and the environment (with a focus on our place in the food web as animals). I feel that reducing chilchuck's very conscious position as a tradesman and an activist discounted due to his apparent age down to "1000 year loli ewwww let's send this random tumblr user suicide bait" just displays a lack of critical analysis of the show and a level of disrespect towards Kui and the work as a whole.

TL:DR- stop sending me kys messages I'm fucking that old man

[lillaydee]

Matchmade Part 12

Millionaire! Joel Miller / Reader

Having experienced traumatic, life altering events, a freshly divorced Joel worked to repay his debt to the person he owed his life to.

@peelieblue @feenoire @vickie5446 @liciafonseca @drewharrisonwriter

WARNINGS:

Good Parent Joel (The Last of Us), Soft Joel (The Last of Us), Joel Needs a Hug (The Last of Us), Joel Lives (The Last of Us), Protective Joel (The Last of Us), Alternate Universe - No Cordyceps Outbreak (The Last of Us), Character Death, Fluff, Angst, Eventual Smut.

SERIES MASTER LIST

Part 11 - Allie

---

The guard unlocked the grilled door to the visitors area. You walked in, Joel’s hand clasped with yours, his body close, silently letting you know he was there, supporting your need to do this. The two of you took a seat at one of the steel tables while you waited for Tanya to be escorted in. The room was buzzing with chatters from the other tables surrounding you. You and Joel sat quietly, your hand still in his, your heart beating uncomfortably fast.

Truth be told, Joel being there was not just a need for you, for emotional support. But a necessity. The moment you found out what she had done, you had screamed so loudly the entire PD could hear you. You screamed and wailed in Joel’s arms while he held you, cried with you, consoled you as best as he could, his own tears mingling with yours. What, you thought, could Allie had possibly done to her that she needed to do that? She was 14 for heaven’s sake. The ‘accident’ was clearly not what it seemed. She had calculated it, purposely aiming for the teenager, even making sure she was unconscious before taking off.

And all the while, while your life shattered, she had played nice at the hospital, being the supportive neighbour and friend while simultaneously making sure you had nothing left to live with at work.

The door buzzed again. Tanya walked in, looking around the room for her potential visitor. Her hopeful face turned so sour when she saw you and Joel, she actually turned around to go back in, but seemed to change her mind and came back, her body language in surrender, defeated. She took a seat across from you and waited for you to speak, her head down, looking at her own hands on her lap.

You didn’t speak. You were going to wait until she looked at you. You were done giving in to her. As far as you were concerned, she was no longer your troubled childhood friend. She was the bitch who murdered your sister and mother figure in cold blood.

She seemed to get the message, looking up at you with hesitant eyes.

“Didn’t think I’d see you here.” She looked like shit. Gone were the perfect hair and the perfect skin and designer clothes she was always bragging about. “Addie…”

“Why?”

She shrunk back a little at your tone. “Why what?”

You stared at her. “Why?”

She had the audacity to still roll her eyes, annoyed that you felt the need to ask her that question. She let out a heavy sigh.

“She found out about me and George, okay?”

You continued to stare at her.

“Look, if Alice finds out, she will take him for everything. Everything he has, his money, all came from her family. Without her, he has nothing. She will take him to the cleaners. And then what would I get for enduring his smelly old man breath on my body? And then that morning, she said something to me. Made me feel like a fucking whore. I couldn’t just let her get away with it. I couldn’t risk her telling people.”

You kept staring at her. Your heart was thumping traitorously. You were seriously glad Joel had his hand on yours. You were so close to reaching over and smacking her nonchalant face onto the steel top.

“When I got home from the store that day, George called me. Told me the guy he had paid to disappear the traffic cam had been arrested on some stupid drug charges. He was going to talk to get out of it. We argued, I told him he needed to stop him, or I will tell Alice everything, and that if I go down for Allie’s accident he will too.” She ran her hands through her hair, head down on the table, her voice beginning to falter.

“Everything was falling apart. We were screaming at each other. I hung up on him and opened the door, and my mom was on the other side. She had heard everything.” Tears began to fall down her cheeks. “She turned around and started dialling on her phone. I didn’t know if she was calling Alice or 911 but I just panicked and grabbed the closest thing and just rammed her head with it. And she just… dropped. I didn’t mean to, Addie, but it just happened. All I kept thinking about was that I couldn’t lose George! If my mom said something, about George, about Allie to anyone else, I’m fucking screwed. I couldn’t let that happen!”

You kept staring at her.

“He was the only one who wanted me Addie, I’m not like you, I need to live a certain lifestyle. Please understand, Addie, I had to do it!”

Your face remained stoic. She seemed to give up.

“Look, what do you want me to say? I’m in here. I’m done. The man I did all this for betrayed me the moment I was in custody. I get it. I lost. You won. Can’t you just let this go?”

Your eyes were filled with angry tears. Seriously? Allie, your sweet sister, lost her life, because she didn’t want anyone knowing about her stupid affair? And sweet Mrs Anders? Her own mother? All for a man who kept her as a side piece, who turned her in as soon as things got messy. What the fuck was wrong with this woman? Was she even sorry?

You stood up, turned, and began walking away. Tanya stood up and called Joel’s name. You stopped and faced her again, you needed to hear what she had to say.

“Why her? Why not me?”

Joel didn’t even hesitate.

“Because she’s beautiful inside and out.”

He placed his hand on your back and began to lead you away.

“You hear that, Addie? He just thinks you’re a good person. And guess what? A good person gets boring really quickly. He may enjoy you now, but one day, he’ll toss you aside. Men like him always do. You’ll see. He’s with you out of pity. He feels sorry for you and your pathetic situation.”

You were already walking away, Joel’s hands steady on you, guiding you out, telling you not to listen to her.

You didn’t see her break down, her final attempt at bringing your spirits down seemingly an unsuccessful one.

**********

But it was successful.

You had been wondering why Joel went out of his way to help you. Why he cared so much. Why he had always been far too generous with you. You were grateful, of course you were. But the realisation that you literally had nothing to offer him, apart from maybe taking care of Sarah and cooking for them, had you wondering if Tanya was right.

He felt sorry for you. You and the pathetic situation you were in.

Why else would he had taken you in? He’s a rich, good-looking man. He could literally get anyone he wanted. And yet, he saved you from homelessness, paid you way too much for a three-day job, gave you a credit card and let you drive his car. He let you live in his guesthouse, which, by the way, was so fancy, that if it was being rented out as a studio, there was no way in any universe imaginable you could possibly afford.

And yet, he asked for nothing in return.

He must be a literal saint.

Unless… he expected something else from you?

No… don’t go there. It’s been a week since the two of you kissed. He had never tried anything you were uncomfortable with. You told him you were nervous, that you needed to take it slow, and he agreed. Surely, if that was what he wanted, he would’ve pushed?

You’re letting Tanya poison you. Don’t do this. Don’t let her win.

You didn’t want to. But deep down you knew she had planted a seed of doubt in your mind.

**********

Joel knew Tanya’s words affected you. He could see it. You were far too quiet on the way back home, and you didn’t really engage when he talked to you. Maybe you were just upset at Tanya’s confession regarding Allie and Mrs Anders?

Please, please, please don’t believe that conniving, criminal of a bitch.

Sarah greeted the two of you at the door. You immediately scooped her up and took her back to your place, wanting to spend some time with her. Maybe watch The Little Mermaid again.

Tommy and Maria stayed with Joel, asking him how things went. Joel gave them the gist of it all, Tommy and Maria shaking their heads at the childishness, the vapidness, the selfishness of it all. All that – just to be kept in expensive designer items. And to think she was trying so hard to get her claws on Joel. Maria shuddered at what could have happened.

She left Joel and Tommy alone to talk in the living room, joining you and Sarah at your place watching a cartoon redhead dance around in the ocean. Tommy asked Joel if he was okay. He knew his brother well. Something was on his mind.

“Tanya tried to poison Addie when we were leaving. Said that I will leave her one day, that I’m only with her out of pity. I think it got to her.”

“What makes you think that?”

“She’s gone all quiet. I don’t want her to think that. That’s not why I’m with her. You’ve met her. You’ve seen her around me and Sarah. Do you think I’m with her out of pity?”

“Nah…” Tommy fiddled with the water bottle he was holding. “I’m gonna ask you something okay? Please don’t be offended or defensive about this.”

Joel braced himself for whatever it was his brother was about to ask him.

“I have never seen you like this with anyone, not even Liz. And you were with her for years. Maria, Tess, Mama, Dad, all noticed. Heck, even Sarah noticed. Are you two a couple? Or just casually dating? What?”

Joel smiled at his brother. “I don’t know. We’re taking it slow, I don’t want to rush her, but if it were up to me, I want her to move in here, with me, with Sarah, be a family. But… realistically, I know that’s pushing it. Too fast. But, yeah, I am obsessed with her.”

“Oh, we know. We could tell. It’s written all over your stupid face,” Tommy snickered.

“I just don’t want her to pull back, you know? I told her we could take it slow, but my heart wants everything with her. And I want it all now. I feel like if I wait any longer my heart will burst.” He took a deep breath and expressed the worry that he had never told anyone.

“But I’m also worried that I am falling into my old pattern, if that make sense? I was head over heels for Liz, I sort of clung on to her and didn’t want to let go. I was terrified that no one would want me other than her. And I became a world class idiot, just taking her back in again and again and look how that turned out. I would regret that relationship so much if not for Sarah… And with Addie, I feel sure that I want to be with her, that I am not making a mistake, she is not like Liz at all, I can feel it. But there’s still this worry that I’m rushing her despite my promise to her. We’ve only known each other a few months, you know?”

Tommy nodded. His brother did fall headlong into love with Liz. Like he couldn’t believe a girl was interested in him, and he just latched on to the first one that showed interest in him.

“I get it, Joel. Liz put you through the wringer, and you didn’t even see it. I’m going to ask you this. Why do you feel like you want to be with Addie? Is it just because of the way she is with Sarah? Because she cooks for you? Or is it something else?”

Joel thought about it for a while.

“You know Allie came to me in a dream after I found out she passed, right?”

Tommy nodded.

“Well, you know she asked me to look for Addie. Make sure she’s alright. So, that was all it was. I made a promise to Allie, and I’m going to keep it. She saved my life, twice. I need to pay her back somehow. Because of her, Sarah still has a father. Nothing I can do can ever repay this kid. I owe her my life, so I will keep my promise.”

Joel rubbed his face, trying to organize his thoughts. He took a few deep breaths, while Tommy waited patiently for his brother to continue.

“But then, I met her, got to know her, and all I want is to be with her. I just…” a giddy smile appeared on his face. Tommy couldn’t help himself. Seeing his brother so smitten with someone like you was such a breath of fresh air. He laughed a little, punching his brother in the arm.

“I feel seen with Addie. I’m not a wallet, or an ATM machine with her. You know she waited up for me to ask about my keynote back at the conference? She actually wanted to know about me. She cared. You know she tried to give me some of the payment back for the weekend gig? Claimed that I overpaid her. She didn’t charge anything to the room that wasn’t for Sarah. I was just reimbursing her for all the entrance fees she had to pay for herself while taking care of Sarah. She’s just so genuine and honest. You know I told her not to cook for me and Sarah? She did it anyway. Just because. And it took a lot of convincing to get her to charge the groceries to me.”

“You sure that’s not because she was worried you might eventually poison Sarah with your ‘cooking’?” Tommy’s sly jab earned him a real one from Joel.

“And when I’m with her, I’m Joel. Not Sarah’s father, not a bank account, I’m just Joel. I can be myself around her. I can tell her anything. She makes me feel like myself, makes me feel good about myself. We have these great talks during our meals, and we hang out at night at the gazebo, and we just… listened to each other. I have never had that with someone, you know? Even with Liz. But with Addie, I knew she was special right away. But the rest of it, just falls into place organically. And now? I can’t get her out of my fucking head. I think… I think I’m… fuck!!!”

He covered his face in his hands, unable to stop the silly, stupid smile that graced his face, one he couldn’t control for the life of him.

Tommy gave his brother a look that only Joel understood.

Fuck Big Brother, you have it bad…

He really did.

**********

You, Maria and Sarah were on your bed, Sarah cuddled up to you, Apple in her arms, her hands playing with its horn, pulling and twisting on it mindlessly as the three of you watched Ariel sing. It had only been about twenty minutes into the movie when she started complaining that Apple had injured herself again, the resown rip on her horn had reopened.

You told her to stay with Maria and walked over to the main house to retrieve the sewing kit you knew you had stashed in Sarah’s room. You walked through the patio door and immediately heard Joel’s voice from the living room.

“You know Allie came to me in a dream after I found out she passed, right? Well, you know she asked me to look for Addie. Make sure she’s alright. So, that was all it was. I made a promise to Allie, and I’m going to keep it. She saved my life, twice. I need to pay her back somehow. Because of her, Sarah still has a father. Nothing I can do can ever repay this kid. I owe her my life, so I will keep my promise.”

Your insides went cold. You couldn’t listen to this. You went back out the way you came in, told Sarah you will fix the horn tonight instead. You couldn’t focus on anything. He’s only keeping his promise to Allie. Tanya was right. He was only with you because he felt sorry for you. He wasn’t in it for real, just to ease his conscience.

You waited until Sarah and Maria left, before crying your eyes out.

Of course he only spent time with you out of pity. Look at you. Look at him. In what world did someone like you and someone like him belong together? You should leave. You should ease this for him. Withdraw. He had saved you, now he should be free of his promise to Allie.

Except, you had fallen in love with Sarah.

And you have definitely, definitely, developed a strong feeling for him.

He had shown you in these past few weeks, time and again, how much he cared about you. You felt safe with him, protected, cared for. But if it was just another obligation to him, you didn’t want to hold him to that. He shouldn’t be held on to a promise he made to your dead sister in a dream.

And you, you had begun to get used to living here in his world, where the houses were nice, where money was not a problem, where there were spare cars around for you to drive when your own crapped out, where you had someone come in and clean up after you, even do your laundry. It was nice to be able to eat out and go grocery shopping not having to worry about your budget drying up before the next pay check came in. It was nice knowing that you have a good amount of savings waiting if things go tits up. It was nice knowing that your dream of going back to school and finally getting the degree you had always wanted was actually feasible now, and perhaps, dare you even think, not that far off in the future.

You had gotten used to talking to him about everything and anything, joking around with him, laughing with him and Sarah while cooking, teaching him simple recipes that he could only screw up a little. You had gotten used to hanging out with him by the pool at the gazebo, cuddling with him and Sarah watching a movie, your lives revolved around each other, and you loved it. You wanted this life.

But this wasn’t your life. You shouldn’t get used to this, not if he was only doing this out of obligation.

You began discreetly packing your things, boxing them, putting them in your suitcases, you needed to get out of here. You needed to have your own footing. You cannot enjoy this life knowing you only had it because he felt indebted to your dead sister. You had moved some boxes back into storage, and some were in your trunk. You just needed to tell him. And you will. When you have the courage to do it. When you have the strength to do it. When you no longer feel as if your heart would stop at the thought of not seeing him or Sarah every day.

Of course you wouldn’t just leave him without telling him. Right?

**********

That Friday evening, Anita and Jake picked up Sarah from the house. A close friend of theirs had a lake house, and their twin granddaughters were having their birthday party there. Which meant you and Joel would have the house to yourselves for the whole weekend.

You needed to tell him this weekend. You had spoken to Mr Cohen. Since Tanya was incarcerated, you could stay at Mrs Anders’ old house for a while, while you plan your next move. It had been a whole month since that day you went to visit her. Joel, not knowing you heard what he said, had been a strong support to you, making sure you were alright, talking to you, asking you if you needed anything. But in your mind, he was just being nice. Because he felt bad for you. He had not tried to get very physical with you at all. Just a quick kiss and a cuddle every now and again. To him, it was him giving you space to process what happened with Tanya, Allie and Mrs Anders.

But to you, it was proof that Tanya was right.

That Friday, after Sarah went off with her grandparents, you and Joel had dinner together. You made him that chicken rice porridge thing he loved so much. He ate so much he couldn’t move afterwards, sitting down on his massive couch with his feet up the coffee table, you sat next to him, some food show playing on TV.

“Joel?”

“Hmm?”

“I think I’m gonna move out.”

He stared at you dumbly for a second, before sitting up straight. He switched the TV off and turned his body to face you. Confusion written all over his face.

“What? What do you mean?”

“I can’t keep living off your generosity, Joel. Nothing has to change, I can still pickup and send Sarah home from daycare, I just… don’t think I should live here anymore. It’s time I get back on my own two feet.”

He looked as if you had just slapped him. He took your hands in his.

“Wait, but, why? Have I been rushing you? Do you feel like we’re moving too fast? I can slow down. Please… stay. I need you to stay. Please.”

He enveloped your entire body with his, taking you in his arms, pulling your legs across his lap, just holding you, the way he did when you had just found out what really happened to Allie. You let him hold you, your own hands clutching on his shirt.

Truth was, you didn’t want to go. You loved being here. You loved Sarah. You lo… cared a lot about him. But if he only wanted you here because of a debt he had with Allie, then some distance would help him understand his feelings better. Right now, he saw you as someone he needed to give service to. And perhaps, having you around to care for Sarah, caring for the two of them made things easier, maybe that played a hand, making him think he’s really interested in you. You shouldn’t, couldn’t, wouldn’t take advantage of him like that.

“Joel, I feel like I’m taking advantage of your kindness, your generosity, I have to move on. I’m on my own now, Allie is gone. I need to figure out where I fit. What my next steps are. What my future would look like.”

“You can do that here, with me,” his voice was muffled in your neck, he finally raised his head, his eyes glistening, he genuinely looked so broken at your insistence to leave. “Please, I need you here. Please don’t leave me, please don’t leave us.”

“I’m not leaving you, you silly man. I’ll still be in your life, just… no longer living here. I should give you space. To figure out if you really want to be with me. I think, me being here confuses you. I feel like, you like me because I’m always around, but not necessarily because you want to be with me. Some space would help you clear that up.”

He shook his head. “I may not be an expert on this matter, and I know I’ve made bad decisions regarding this, which I don’t regret because it brought me to Sarah, but I do know that I want to be with you. I am not confused. I need you in my life. Please…”

You lay down on the couch, pulling him with you. He held you close, his nose buried in your hair at the top of your head, your face buried in his chest, your legs tangled with his, your bodies pressed up together.

“We’ll talk about this later okay?” he pleaded. “Can we just, lay here for a while? Please?”

You nodded into his chest, savouring in his smell, his warmth, his arms. Fuck, you really didn’t want to go, but you know you had to.

The two of you laid there, quietly savouring the feel of each other in each other’s arms, and before long, the comfort, the familiarity of it all drifted the both of you to a peaceful sleep.

**********

You woke up early, as usual. You were spooning him, your nose pressed up between his shoulder blades, your arm around his waist. His hand was holding yours, keeping it in place on his tummy. If this was just another morning, you would stay here forever. You loved waking up to him. You savoured your morning talks and giggles with him. You had always been amazed at how comfortable you were with him during these moments, and how he always looked at you during these moments - with mussed up face, birds nest hair, crusts in your eyes and nose, drool on your chin, pillow dents all over your face – and still made you feel like the most beautiful person on earth. Not to mention your bad morning breath. He kissed you anyway like it didn’t exist.

Then again, you found him at his most beautiful in the mornings too.

But today, you needed to do this. You needed to, to make sure he was really in it for you, and not a promise he made to Allie.

You slowly pulled your arm out of his hold and got out of the couch. You went back to the guesthouse, splashed some water on your face and picked up the last of your suitcase, locking the door behind you, went out to the driveway and placed the suitcase in your trunk.

And then you got into the driver’s seat of your rusty old tin can of a car and started the engine.

---

Part 13

[mamawasatesttube]

I love mentor Tim and his hero kids. He says there’s anywhere between 6 and 27 of them at all times, he lost count. He’s lying. He knows everything about them. He is their cringe mentor who uses vintage memes and simultaneously the coolest person they know

there's a whole plot here i'm gonna write one day about tim mentoring a little gaggle of idiot teenagers <3 they adore him but he's so cringefail and they're like god how is it that you of all people know everybody in the hero community??? you did NOT just say "weirdchamp" tim youre killing us!!!

but the plot of this is a lil idiot teenager outsider pov thing wherein like. this lil squad of teenagers (all very starstruck by superfam btw. they all still think yknow superfam are kryptonians 24/7 and live at the fortress of solitude etc.) are blown away by the fact that tim, rook, their kind of pathetic scrunkly mentor who they love TIM, knows supernova. whoa. they saw supernova in the hallway and he stopped to say hi to tim!!! whoa!!!!

but then supernova just like. keeps showing up?? seemingly, like, just to hang out with tim? and theyre like oh my god wait you guys are fRIENDS???? TIM HOW????

supernova of course finds this hilarious, laughs his ass off, and says oh yeah man, this guy's been my bestie since we were what. fifteen? and tim snorts and says yeah, about then. and supernova elbows him and says what, you didn't tell them ANYTHING about our days of bothering red tornado? and tim says wryly, i didn't want to give them any more ideas.

and so, hero worship or not, supernova showing up to lounge on tim's desk while tim instructs them in hand to hand, or to chatter over tim's shoulder while tim tinkers with a new gadget, or this or that, etc, becomes kind of normal. he's just always hanging out, when he's not busy with his own hero work or away with other members of the superfam, etc. it's wild! they're all so starry-eyed. he talks to them about how cool tactile telekinesis is (and why is tim rolling his eyes??? supernova is right, it's SO cool!!) or about his favorite episodes of wendy the werewolf stalker (man that's old and like, a classic. he's cultured!!!! whoa...)

but they just see him around a lot, is the point. he's starting to become a constant presence, and they get to see how seamlessly he and tim interact.

and it is then. that the gaggle of teenagers starts to suspect something.

they have a feeling--and tim plays his cards pretty close to his chest, of course, but they have a feeling... that tim. might actually be in love with supernova.

(what follows: local bunch of dumbass teens with hearts of gold try really earnestly to set tim up with his own husband. tim doesn't understand why this is happening. kon thinks it's hilarious.)

[familyagrestefanblog]

I find it... kinda irritating how saying that Hero Gabriel is still a failure of a father even if he's not a bad person is apparently somewhat of a hot take.

It is irrelevant at what extreme end of the moral spectrum Gabriel is - sadistic villain or heroic saint - fact still remains that you wouldn't notice either with Monarque or Hesperia that they are fathers at all, while simultaneously both Adriens are clearly depicted as teenagers who basically have to re-settle themselves into their lives after they were emotionally orphaned in every sense that matters.

It is irrelevant that Alt Gabriel is a hero, not a bad person or that he wasn't outright abusive like our Gabriel, nothing will change the fact that Griffe Noire Adrien's path to healing goes the same route as our Adrien's.

And that is AWAY from his father, not WITH him.

Griffe Noire at the end was roughly were our Adrien started off at the beginning of the show, just this time with a better path ahead Ladynoir wise since they know their identities.

He changed for the better when our Adrien gave him the self-acceptance, understanding and sympathy he didn't receive from Alt Gabriel or anyone else for the matter.

Helped him overcome the grief of loosing their mother and accepting that the self-harming behavior he's acting on (or both of them) is not something she would want for them.

There are 2 reasons why Alt Adrien couldn't get over his mother's death, and that's 1) because unlike our Adrien, Alt Adrien didn't try finding new happiness in friendship, and 2) because he too couldn't count on his remaining parent (Gabriel) which made him feel his mother's loss even worse.

Alt Gabriel could be the greatest hero of all time and he still would be a fucked up father because he was so busy being a saint that he apparently barely was a father. When alt Gabe cries in the sewer one would think he'd bring up his child as one of his main motivations, but no, he doesn't.

Because Hesperia is just as little characterized as a FATHER as Monarque.

That aspect of Gabriel didn't change.

Hesperia didn't even fucking know that his son is Griffe Noire either, how attentive to you think this man IS??

Alt Adrien goes on the same path as our Adrien and that's away from being emotionally dependent on his father - the way a 14 year old should normally ALLOWED TO BE bc thats NATURAL and how it's supposed to be - to make friends, but most importantly he sure as hell went on being emotionally dependend on HIS Maribug the way our Adrien was/is

Especially the last picture is extremely telling (and one would think our Marinette would finally start paying attention bc Griffe Noire's change right in front of her eyes is literally all she would need to help her fully understand HER Chat Noir's behavior and how that came to be. But apparently we can't ever have Marinette pick up on the most obvious stuff about Chat Noir's problems).

Unlike Toxinelle who is waving goodbye while holding Griffe's hand, HE is not acknowledging our dimension anymore even when he's the last one to enter the portal by a good bit, bc he's so fixated on his Maribug as his whole world bc just like our Adrien he's literally emotionally an orphan and needs an anchor like everyone else.

Good chance that Toxinelle thinks they're just normally holding hands and she's merely going in first, but no, he is letting her lead him out. He doesn't care whats behind or ahead of him, he's just seeing her.

Alt Gabriel is an awful father and you can tell because Alt Adrien literally has to re-settle in life similar to an orphan while his father is still alive and living in the same damn house!

THAT'S what decides if Alt Gabriel is an awful father, NOT him running around as a charming hero. The quality of parenthood is NOT measured by how "good of a person" the parent is, it's measured by the child's fucking well-being

And I don't know if you noticed it by now, but this is the same logic as our Gabriel being hailed a hero after his death. The special already elaborates on this new angle of Gabriel suddenly being a "hero" while he very clearly was a monstrous failure of a father (and person).

So what side are YOU gonna be on here?

Are you going to victim blame Adrien by just declaring Gabriel Agreste a great, blameless and loving father now because that's what you're being told at face-value while the narrative conveniently plays the case in Gabriel's favors by removing all of them from the dimension they are actually from so his faults are being mostly covered up, and Adrien's looks worse without its proper context of their home-dimension and father-son dynamic

Or are you going to fucking LOOK at the child this amazing hero is emotionally abandoning on a daily in way too many ways and ask yourself if that's the result of a competent and attentive parent?

[freakartack]

Hey I just wanna I've been kinda obsessed with your blog for a while now, but never had the courage to make an ask. It's really nice to see such love with something as underrated at Warioware. It really needs more love. Anyways what's your headcanon on the Crygor family? (I personally headcanon Mike being close with Penny, but sometimes they will get into a harmless spat about who's the best singer of the family.) 

Aw, thank you!! That's very sweet of you. i'm honored....I think that Penny is one of the few people on God's green earth that Mike genuinely respects. I think they also chronically get on each other's nerves. The best summation of their relationship in my mind's eye is probably this excerpt from my upcoming (REALLY upcoming, like "not even sketches yet" upcoming) comic called "Mike Has A House Party":

I imagine that due to the asynchrony of Mike's rapid maturation (he came out of the lab a freshly angst-riddled teenager and is now what i would consider a "young adult") and his actual age (Kat & Ana are older than him), they have this kind of silent struggle over who is the "older sibling". (I use "sibling" lightly here because of the unconventional family structure of the Crygors but if I were to liken Mike's relationship with Penny to a family dynamic not created in a lab I would say that he is akin to a step-brother that went to college while the other sibling was in grade school and now exclusively makes shitty music in Garageband.) Mike can be very protective of Penny in kind of an older brother way but also thinks she is kind of a goody two-shoes (and tattletale), whereas Penny kind of sees him as a really annoying baby but also simultaneously looks up to him in a way. Between the two of them, Penny is more likely to humor Mike's insistence of being the Older Sibling, but she will very readily step up to the plate when mike is having Baby Brother Problems. She also enjoys poking fun at his various idiosyncrasies, such as being way too invested in Grease.

Mike does genuinely respect Penny's musicality though, and considers her one of the only people who understands his very very strong feelings about Music. (Much to the dismay of Dr. Crygor, who often tries to connect with his robot through their shared love of song and dance but is tragically branded by him as a Lame Old Man.) Likewise, Penny is elated to have a family member that shares her passion for singing, although unlike Mike she has far more respect for the talents of Grandpa Crygor. That being said, Mike and Penny can certainly butt heads about music too, which is honestly more aggravating to them than dealing with someone they actively dislike. Nevertheless, they will always welcome an opportunity to duet with each other