#hes like a court jester fr

[blushingzephyr]

what waystar royco employees see everyday in the corridors

[unfunnystandup]

silly jester!alex edit because i love it so deeply but there’s only like .0005 seconds of footage and the quality is trash

[movietonight]

oh you've already done klinger! so what abt hawk :)

Trauma and hawaiian shirts babeyyyy

[famousblueraincoatmp3]

finished the piano teacher need a new book to read:(

[thothunter-420]

Mental Illness 💥BLAST💥

being hit with a massive mental illness beam as my spotify stats are shown to the people who just tolerate me on this app RIGHT NOW!!!

[irishmammonagenda]

hii , do you mind doing diavolo x m!court jester reader?

i saw a post with a king x jester trope and i could not get it out of my head 😭 it can be headcanons or a short drabble, wtv you want!!

hihi! this is such an interesting thingy to write and i apologise for taking a while to write it, writing male characters is fun but lowkey kind of hard for me😔✊

i also dont know what jesters do and my knowledge is watching horrible histories when i was younger so this is widely inaccurate heehee

no but fr i think in another universe diavolo would be a jester tbh

dividers by @/ioveartfilm

grma for requesting <3!!!!

Funny Funny (I'm in love with you.) Diavolo X M!Court Jester Reader

He laughs at your jokes like a man on crack

You're his favourite employee in the castle and your room is right beside his chambers (he made sure of it)

You sneak into his room for sleepovers sometimes. Barbatos has given up on propriety.

The Little Ds help you with your super cool jester preformances. They're surprisingly good at dancing and balancing plates.

You use the Little Ds as juggling balls sometimes.

Diavolo has promoted you as much as possible, bro atp people think you're a consort instead of court jester.

like they will full on go up to you to pitch ideas or put in a good word for Diavolo since he'll listen to you.

Barbatos also forces you to tell Diavolo news that'll make him angry or upset since he takes it a lot better coming from you.

Unrelated but you'd 100% be friends with Solomon and Thirteen. Which is awkward when theyre in the same room together.

Apart from Barbatos and Lucifer occassionally disciplining you, you are untouchable.

"Your Heighness...." A noble bows in front of Diavolo's throne. Why that scumbag had requested an audience with the Demon Prince, you had no idea. Technically you weren't even supposed to be listening in, but no one had noticed you on the chandelier yet so that was their problem.

And your problem when Barbatos eventually found out. Said Demon standing beside Diavolo's throne.

You watch as Diavolo nods along, uncharacteristically serious. "What do you need?"

"Well...I believe if we stopped trading pickles to the humans it would be a lot less daunting to create them-"

You blink. What the fuck. Bro requested an audience for this? Damn, this was so unserious it was good material for your next stand up routine.

You watch from overhead as Diavolo blinks, his wings stiffening ever so slightly, the crimson-haired prince raises an eyebrow. "You want to stop trading pickles to the Human Realm?"

"Yes, My Lord." The noble responds earnestly.

"No."

The demon blinks, astounded.

"Excuse me, may I ask you repeat that, my Lord?"

"No. Human's love pickles. They're our main traders. It'd sour relations even more." Diavolo says, you watch as Barbatos takes a deep breath, and as the Demon Prince begins to get annoyed.

You stiffle a laugh at the noble squandering, which leads to your downfall as you move your hands over your mouth, taking them off of your jester hat.

Which falls.

All the way down to the ground.

The bells on the hat jingle.

Barbatos' eyes are trained on you like a hawk. So are Diavolo's, but his eyes are more of an excited child on christmas than anything else.

The noble's eyes widen.

"Sup?" You grin awkwardly. The noble, sensing a way out of this pickle debate uses this as an excuse to say his goodbyes and leave.

Diavolo doesn't even notice. Barbatos just shakes his head ever so slightly.

"That guy was in a real pickle...!...Haha...right guys?" You laugh awkwardly, and despite the fact you're not funny at all, the Prince cackles like it was the best stand up routine he'd ever heard in his life.

You were currently at a banquet talking to the Little D's about your next juggling stunt when a demon approached you.

"Hello." She smiles, her red lips glossy.

"Sup."

"Well, I was wondering if I could ask a favour or two....." She looks hesitant but composed.

You nods your head, the bells on your hat jingling. You're convinced Diavolo put them on there to serve as some sort of cat bell.

"Well....I had an idea for expanding our trades of magical herbs to human world Alaska...since a few witches have been living on quote on quote 'lesbian cottages' there."

You whistle. "Damn. Do they have huskies?"

"A lot of them, from what I hear." She nods, her tail wrapping around her leg absentmindedly. "Could you put in good word for Lord Diavolo for me?"

"Sure?" You tilt your head, the bells jingle slightly.

The demon grins, "Thanks he'll listen to you more thoroughly!"

Little D No.2 pops out from your breast pocket. "That's because everyone thinks you two are gay for eachother."

You yank him out of there. "Go annoy Mammon."

"Sir yes sir!"

At this point you should be the Avatar of Pride.

"Sire. I'm telling you. He just stabbed several upper class demons with a rusty spoon!" The demon knight urges Diavolo, who isn't even looking at him.

"You expect me to believe that?" Diavolo tilts his head. You nod vigorously from where you're covered in entrails and holding a rusty spoon in your hands. "MC wouldn't hurt a fly."

The knight looks from you to him with a lax jaw.

What.

The.

Fuck.

That knight's putting his two weeks in now icl.

^^ idea from that one person on tiktok (sirleoninsunglasses) i cant get it out of my head.

can you tell im a merlin fan.

gang idk what noble people talk about i made these discussions up as i went along but i can assure you that pickle trading and lesbian witches in alaska are actually the only thing nobles talked about in history i pinky promise

[serenewrote]

"I'll follow you down 'til the sound of my voice will haunt you" - Aegon Targaryen II x Cousin! reader

Synopsis: After the events of the disagreement of Driftmark's succession, such as the "unfortunate" death of Vaemond Valeryon, the family indulges in a nice dinner where you give your cousin an offer he shouldn't refuse.

Rating: PG-13

Warning(s): attempted manipulation (my girl almost had him fr).

You are seated at your father's left side, patiently waiting. You and your father, Daemon, glance at each other. He looks at you in discontent and you give him a look, he knows you won't let up.

King Viserys stands, well more like leans on the table, and speaks, "How good it is... to see you all tonight... together."

"Prayer before we begin?"

"Yes."

The Queen Alicent begins to pray, "May the Mother smile down on this gathering with love. May the Smith mend the bonds that have been broken for far too long."

You rolled your eyes. What does she thinks she's doing?

"And to Vaemond Velaryon, may the gods give him rest."

You snicker at the last remark, may the gods give him hell. Vaemond was out of his mind.

"This is an occasion for celebration, it seems. My grandsons, Jace and Luke, will marry their cousins, Baela and Rhaena, further strengthening the bond between our houses. A toast to the young Princes... and their betrothed."

You smile, proud of your sisters and how they've grown. "Hear, hear!"

Aegon leans over to whisper to Jace, "Well done, Jace. You'll finally get to lie with a woman."

Baela takes a drink and looks at him in annoyance. She then turns to look at you. You make eye contact. Do not worry, dear sister. He'll get his due.

You take a look at your cousin. How pathetic? Your women will chew him up and spit him out. Not before you have your turn, of course.

"Let us toast as well to Prince Lucerys... the future Lord of the Tides.

"Hear, hear."

Aegon leans over to Jace, once again.

"You do know how the act is done, I assume? At least in principle? Where to put your cock and all that."

"Let it be, cousin."

"You can play the jester if you wish, but hold your tongue before my betrothed."

Aegon hums in fake agreeance. You zone out halfway, coming back seeing Jace take Helaena to dance. You see your father nod in your peripheral. You move to Jace's seat and lean to whisper in Aegon's ear.

"Dearest cousin, I heard of the little situation with a servant girl this morning."

Aegon looks at you. Why the hell are you talking to him?

"What of it, cousin."

"I- It must feel so restricting. Not being able to do what you truly want, having to marry someone you feel no love for."

"Well, I don't see a man at your side, cousin. Did you scare them off."

"Quite the contrary, Aegon. Unlike all these other ladies of the court, I don't need a man at my side to have power. I'm free to bed whoever I want, whenever I want."

Aegon grits his teeth at your clear mocking, "How lucky you are, Y/n."

You smirk internally. Hook, Line, and Sinker. "I could help you, of course. The women of Dorne love men like you, cousin. Princely, Silver-haired, Targaryen. Personally, I like my men: pathetic... and good for one thing."

You lean closer. Your lips grazing his ear, "I could take you away from here. To Dorne. You'd be away from all of this. Away from your mother, who seems to only care about image. You'd be free, Aegon."

He looks at you, his eyes growing desperate. He's actually considering it.

Just then, a servant sets a roasted pig down. Lucerys chuckles. Aemond hits the table, anger evident. He stands, goblet in hand.

"Final tribute. To the health of my nephews: Jace... Luke... and Joffrey. Each of them handsome, wise... hm.... strong."

"Aemond."

"Come... let us drain our cups to these three... Strong boys."

Jace gets in Aemond's face, "I dare you say that again."

"Why? Was only a compliment. Do you not think yourself Strong?"

Jace punches Aemond as Luke gets up and Aegon slams his head on the table. You look the boys in disgust. One normal night. Just one, please?

"Why would you say such a thing before these people?"

"I was merely expressing how proud I am of my family, Mother. Mm, though it seems my nephews aren't quite as proud of theirs."

Rhaenyra turns to Jace, Luke, and your sisters, "Go to your quarters. All of you go, now."

Your father looks at you expectantly. You whisper in Aegon's ear one last time, "Seems as though you are happy here, cousin. Being a nuisance. Forever at the beck and call of your mother and grandsire."

You leave him, walking over to your father and Rhaenyra, "Goodnight, Father, Rhaenyra." You retreat to your chambers.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

As Aegon stands in front of the people, having been crowned King, he thinks back to your words. The offer sounding so convincing. If only he hadn't acted out, then maybe the sound of your voice and your sweet words wouldn't haunt him.

fin.

Oh. My. God. I don't know if I love or hate this because I straight pulled this out of my ass.

Also for further context, you are Daemon's oldest daughter. Your mother is one of the eldest children of Qoren Martell and the reason why you aren't married is because you really don't need a husband. Your mother has a twin brother and so you will rule alongside your cousin as it is not known which one of them came first.

[gemharvest]

Okay hear me out (and I will forget I sent an ask in again 2 seconds later) RGB as crystal gems

PREFACING THIS ART WITH AN "I'm sorry I didn't lean more into the SU side of things" I am being so fr I don't wanna mess with trying to figure out more gem-like outfits for them so they're basically the same except with limited palettes and also gems. I don't think it's actually gonna matter to anyone but ANSJKNKDGJ if I don't open with that my brain will Explode. /lh

GO CRAZY GO STUPID AHHHHHH. GEMS. I'm going to have to put my bullet points under a read more just cuz I know I am about to fucking Go Off. grins

Girlfriend is a red diamond. Boyfriend is a peridot. Pico is a green spinel.

GIRLFRIEND:

Went with a diamond cuz of the status thing. I am almost worried it feels like too easy of a pull but I doonnn't care I think it'd be fun if she was a diamond. :) Red obviously because it's her color.

Playing off the status thing; ofc her parents would also be diamonds and so you can have the reasoning of "oh this isn't a high-rank gem" for them not liking Boyf. I mean if you need any reasoning aside from them just being unreasonable LOL but that's always there.

Placement on her chest because !! love !!!! That's also why it's a heart-shaped cut instead of a. Diamond shape.

My backup assignment for her would be a jasper because I think it'd suit her well to be any quartz, and with jasper you can get close to her reds !! The status thing is really what made me decide on a diamond tho.

As I type this I realize there are some vaaaguee similarities to Pink I could pull as extra reasoning but shruuuugs my brain is NOT in an analytical mood rn so I'll just let others chew on that for me.

This isn't really relevant to RGB but I wanna mention it: I think it'd be funny if the demon henchmen were rubies.

BOYFRIEND:

The biggest factor for me going peridot with him is the fact that a common headcanon for canon Peridot is that she's autistic and while I mostly work with ADHD Boyf myself (since that's the experience I can pull from personally)... I am a sucker for a good autistic/AuDHD read with him.

This man is short and Era 2 peridots are short. If I drew him SU style this guy would need limb enhancers. lol

Instead of a prohibition symbol his shirt has the outline of a star. I just find that neat. :)

He would sooooooo suck at a peridot's role but also iirc in canon he's a college drop out anyways so it cancels out. He's got that Greg Universe in him.

Honestly, I put his gem placement on the back of his hand bc I had no clue where else to put it. My secondary placement for it would be on his forehead bc it'd make me giggle with him being Dumb but canon Peridot already has the forehead placement so I didn't go ahead with that.

HE STOLE PICO'S GREEN SPOT. spritzing him with water like a naughty dog BAD BOYFRIEND.

PICO:

This is my little indulgent one I really. I really love canon Spinel. This is tangential but like I literally have 4 spinel OCs and then another 4 furry OCs with designs based on canon Spinel. The urge to make One Of Them a spinel was going to be there.

The juxtaposition of him being a gem with an entertainer role and also a hard-ass hitman makes me giggle. Idk I feel like if you already know canon Spinel then you can probably connect the dots as to why I'd imagine him as a spinel as well.

Heart cut because I find it cute and it matches GF. I think a spade shape could be fun too but idk I prefer just going with a heart. Placement on his upper back because. :) Because he can't easily shield it from damage that way. He has to be constantly aware of his surroundings, unless he wants to give someone the chance for an easy hit on him if they sneak up from behind. Little paranoia thing to fuck with him. I'm so nice to Pico !! :D

Bringing back the status thing with GF's parents; I can't help but giggle thinking abt them hiring him. Imagine you get recommended this really good hitman and you meet up and it's a fucking court jester. Fucking ego hit but DD needs the job done so he hires him anyways. AND THEN PICO DOESN'T EVEN CARRY OUT THE FUCKING HIT. Never hiring a clown off of Craigslist again. /JOKING

hits play on this and sits down with my head in my hands

OKAY BEFORE I'M DONE I WANNA MENTION: I made myself give them all gem assignments BUT I do think it would be fun if one of them was not a gem a la Greg and Rose. So I give you: regular canon demon GF and her two gem boyfriends. Takes a bow. (<- honestly might do something further with that for my own fun. teehee)

[ventismacchiato]

O1 behind the lens — kicking my feet and giggling !

scaramouche x g!n reader

“When you said we were going out for a meal I didn’t think you meant a cat cafe,” you mused as you slid into the seat Kuni pulled out for you.

“You mentioned you liked cats during class,” Kuni shrugs, sitting across from you and flinching as a cat jumps up onto his lap almost immediately. You were a little envious…whether it be of him or the cat you didn’t know.

“I have a cat,” you grin, always eager to show anyone your precious baby. You hold back though since Kuni doesn’t seem the type, but much to your surprise he kept up with you as you swiped through your photo album dedicated to you and your roommates’ cat.

“Cute,” he hums, a soft smile on his face as you put your phone away.

“Me or the cat?”

“Both,” he easily says, mindlessly petting the creature in his hands.

You feel you cheeks heat up at his comment, hiding your face behind the menu as he snickers at your reactions.

“You’re so fucking easy to fluster.”

“No, it’s just you.”

“Oh?”

“Shut up—”

“I’m sure you’d like that.”

“Shut up!”

behind the lens !

masterlist — prev | next

background info for kuniyn you both have the same major and are in the same photography class and became friends after being paired for multiple projects together

everyone other than scarayn use their public accounts to reply to private tweets but the fans don’t see them just pretend 😇

have only been to a cat cafe once in my life LITERALLY SO FUN cures ur depression fr

made the message icons different than the twt ones so it’s more fun

synopsis — you, better known as STARDUST, and BALLADEER have always been in competition for the top streamer spot on twitch, which is especially impressive since the two of you have never shown your faces. you’ve never been on good terms, constantly one-upping each other in matches and getting into petty arguments on twitter, causing your fans to also dislike each other. that’s until BALLADEER does a face reveal that breaks the internet with his good looks…which makes you realize it’s the same guy you went on a date with last night. the type of date that made you crave to see him again. the only problem was he didn’t know you were STARDUST and he was way different behind the lens than he portrayed himself online to you. should you keep your identity a secret to salvage the relationship or just let him go?

author’s notes — finals are over 🔥 kinda jumping in cus in order for the au to start i gotta build on their existing off camera relationship which is HARD but i hope it’s good 😓

taglist is closed — @captainzep @elysiumarchieve @plinkuro @sakkakuu-squared @eliqusgenma @vuvulia @kunikuzushiit @heehooyeslol @stxrgxzxr @lilneps @uma-umie @lynnforever @mitsukifilms @caesars-bubbles @wheneverthesunrise @its-like-twilight @kazuhalvrr @camiluvsreading @cloudxemoji @thenightsflower @p1utto @caesars-bubbles @lxry-chxn @orbitscara @court-jester-stuff @lauragalliart @veyu002 @kaeyas-eyepatch-69 @leathernourishingshoepolish @satowaluverr @lexlapis @drunkwithfever @remiikoe @exhaustedcommunist @vincanzu @just-here-reading @amoguz @ainlaw @ovaliz @depressedwhore @kitsuvil @whatamidoing89 @bunny-x-sakura @kunihaver @kazioli @xiaosoneandonly @vinskypuff @cridtiins @cherrybeomgyu @asukahiriko [1/3]

[ratking-mo]

My king, My jester

Synopsis: You are the king’s Jester, one of the most valuable members of his court. You are the only thing that’s able to pick him up from his dreary, stressed out mood. Though this time around, he seemed to be in a worse mood than usual. And you know just how to get him to bring him back to his old self.

Tags: Dom!Switch reader, Sub!Switch character, nipple play, slight dumbification, reader is silly, rim stimulation

Word count: 3.1k

Authors note: the people that know how to write moaning/begging are real ones fr; might end up writing a part two in the future

—————————————————————————

—————————————————————————

“FOOL!”

A low, booming voice shouted out throughout the castle halls.

Your head lifts slightly, the bells decorating your ivory and black felted hat jingling lightly as you move. A wide grin spread itself across your lips as you let out a soft, giddy laugh. It seemed like your king requested your presence.

And who are you to deny him the need?

You skip gleefully down the cinder-colored palace, a labyrinth you've grown to become quite familiar with. The walls, holding canvases decorated with oil paint, were strewn about. Some paintings depicted a different descendant of the royal family, while others depicted different environmental scenes. Useless decor to show off, really. Your pointed shoes lightly thumped against the hard red carpet as you turned the corner, walking through the quiet corridor as your smile began to grow into an open-mouth grin.

Your bells came to a halt as you finally entered the throne room, taking a knee in front of your King.

There sat King Istemi, plastered broadly against the dark wooden throne and soft blue cushions. Around him sat two, quartz pillars. The farther they went into the air, the closer they leaned into one another, soon conjoining and creating a slightly damaged alter of sorts. The throne room itself was a large, circular room. Two other large entryways sat on the right and left of you, two knights on either side as large flames sat beside them to dimly illuminate the room.

Istemi slowly lifted his head when the jingle of your being ceased, amber-hued eyes boring into your gaze. Yet your stature was unrelenting.

“What is it that you desired of me, my liege?” You spoke, voice lightly bouncing off the walls as you lifted your head up

Istemi lifted his left hand slowly, waving it back and forth dismissively. And with that, the four knights took their silent leave, leaving the two of you alone. Your king let out a harsh, disgruntled sigh, slumping within his chair. “Ive grown overstretched, my dearest jester..” he spoke, his tone growing into a more softer one. “My duties as your king have begun to push me to my limits, and I fear the day that my mind wanders into distances I cannot come back from..”

Istemi lifted once more, motioning for you to rise. And you do not skip a beat. You hop up onto your feet. “Poor thing..” You cooed out, skipping off towards the throne. Once you reach it, your hands gently graze against the crest rail. You dangle your head over slightly, your hat nearly tipping off as the bells jangled. “Your pity towards our kingdom is appreciated in ten full. Though, if I may comment,” you move your hand up, gently playing with the tips of his crown. “If you keep this up, you’ll end up going mental by the morrow!” you giggled out in a teasing manner.

Istemi’s eyes opened up more before he quickly moved to face you, a lock of his chestnut-colored hair falling in front of his eyes. He seemed rather frantic, worried that he may lose himself so soon in his rain. He has only been king for six years, how embarrassing would that be to his bloodline? “W-what are you saying??” He demanded an elaboration, his hands moving to grab onto the arm of the chair. “Keep what up? I am only doing what is demanded of me!” He lifted his hands gazing down at the palms of his hands as he struggled to figure out any possible meaning to what you said.

“And that is your problem,” You pointed out before leaning backward. The spine of your back bent inwards as you pressed firmly against the ground, soon kicking your legs upwards and causing the bells on your shoes to jingle lightly. You stand tall. If you could even call a handstand standing, that is. “You push yourself to follow your duties every single day, despite your psyche.” You then tilt yourself to the side, your left foot colliding against the ground as you flip yourself into a proper standing position. “It is quite pathetic, once you think about it..” You laugh lightly, placing the tips of your fingers over your mouth as you look to the side.

“Fool, your words are not making any sense,” Istemi mumbled, his index finger and thumb lightly rubbing at his eyelids as a shaky sigh emitted from his throat. “You have not a clue what I go through every day… From the moment I rise, to the moment I must leave to my chambers, it is nonstop motion.” He explained, eyes slowly lifting upwards to make mutual eye contact with you.

While he was looking at you, it was as if he was off somewhere else, somewhere distant. He wanted oh so desperately to be back on the same plane of freedom as you, but something was stopping him. He ached to stop this senseless carousel of thought for at least a brief hour.

Istemi lowered his head slightly, placing his hands within his hair as he sighed out. His gold-laced crown shuffled slightly on his head due to the constant movement, so you took the rare liberty of removing it. You held it delicately in the air, pretending to analyze the accessory in scrutinizing detail. “Ugly thing, this is..” You commented offhandedly.

“Now don’t say that, fool..” Istemi muttered, lightly nudging at you with his foot before he went back to focus on his anguish. “I just wish for a break… A break where I am not demanded, not pushed into the constant stream to fix others' problems, or to do my duties.. Just once, I wish to be free from thought itself.” He mused, shutting his eyes for a moment.

Your eyes shifted to look at him for a moment, your arms lowering the crown as your head slowly tilted to the side. How rare it was to see your King in such a weakened state. And even rarer it was to have someone such as him, confide in someone like you.

Perhaps even, someone like you could help him, if he so wishes.

You take a minute to weigh your options and gather your thoughts, before deciding it was best to act. You move a step closer, placing the crown on one of the arms of the chair. “My liege,” you start, reaching your hand out. “It hurts me to see you in such a state… I would give nothing more than to aid you in any way I can.” You pledge, gently resting the palm of your hands on his stubble-ridden cheek.

Istemi seemingly stiffened at the sudden touch, his eyes popping open once more in an instant. He slowly moved his hand, about to place it over yours.

“My knowledge may be limited, unlike yours,” You acknowledged, soothingly beginning to rub the thumb of your finger back and forth. “But I certainly know a few… Options we could test. One is bound to put you in a better mood.”

“…” Istemi’s mouth opened slightly as he gave a shaky, hesitant inhale. He closed his eyes as his eyebrows knitted together, cheeks beginning to heat up. He was not used to such gentle care (or any care, at that.) He began to push his head further into your hand, sighing.”… I trust you, my jester.” He confided quietly.

You hum at that lightly, leaning forward and gently pressing your forehead against Istemi’s. The bells gave a quiet jingle due to this. “You won't need to have a single thought until I'm done with you, my King.”

!!

You remove yourself away from him for a brief moment, breaking the warm contact shared between the two of you. Istemi gave a small frown, opening up his mouth to protest the separation but was nearly immediately interrupted.

You gently pressed your lips against your king’s, bringing him into a warm, sweet kiss. For you, it was a decent enough opening to lead him into the rest of your little excursion. Not that you were hating, this, however. Itsemi’s lips were slightly chapped, and the lower one was cold to the touch. It was as if he had been biting on it for quite a while. For Istemi, the kiss was rather unexpected, to say the least. He didn’t know what to expect, however, but it certainly wasn’t this. But that didn’t stop his trust in you. It seemed to only heighten it. His eyes slowly began to flutter shut as he leaned into the kiss, his lips following behind the rhythm that was set by yours.

Your hand began to travel downwards as the two of you focused on the other’s lips, your right hand giving a firm squeeze at the corresponding pec. This caused Itsemi to gasp out, the blush on his increasing. You took the chance to slip your tongue into his mouth, the muscle lightly swiping against your king’s as he tried to keep up with your pace. He tasted like salt, mostly, with the faint flavor of fermented grape. Istemi shivered slightly in your hold as your gloved hand groped his clothed chest. What a sensation, both of them. The feeling to be ravaged and tasted in such a way, the feeling to be grabbed like you have never felt anything like it. The dual sensations were causing his mind to grow flooded, despite how minuscule they were. He was struggling to focus on them, his overwhelming grip slowly slipping to a thankful lucidity.

Istemi arched his back slightly, further pushing his chest in your hand as it wandered. You then pulled your lips away with a soft gasp, a trail of saliva faintly following your tongue stemming from your King’s mouth. Istemi let out a small whine, eyes squinting to gaze at you. “Wha..why’d you stop..?” he whispered out groggily.

“Because sharing a kiss won't fix your problems that easily, my liege.” You responded harmonically, a soft dust of blush coating your cheeks as you gazed at Itsemi. You then moved to place your left hand against his chest, firmly holding it before glancing up at Istemi. “My Liege, may I remove of your fabrics?”

Istemi gazed down at you with half-lidded eyes, face flushing at the thought. He seemed a bit hesitant to fully reveal himself to you, those thoughts of his demands, duties, and status still holding him back, You take notice of this. You soothingly began rubbing at his sides, thinking of some way to encourage him. Hm, how to take this in a different approach. You then had an idea. You lean forward, mouth close to your King’s ear as you whisper out. “Come now,” you breathe. “I love your mantle so much, but you won't be needing it anymore… Be good for me,” you spoke, planting a gentle kiss on the lobe of his ear. “Will you?’

Istemi let out a quiet whine at the feeling of your warm breath against his ear, once again arching his back in an involuntary response. He opened his mouth, taking a moment to form any coherent words before quickly sputtering out. “Y-yes, please..” he whispered out, eyes drifting over to look at you. “I-I’ll be good, just.. Please.” He pleaded out, shedding off any inhibitions that once held him captive.

You take this and act quickly, disrobing him cloth after cloth in a steady succession. Istemi’s head lazily drifted to the side, eyes following your hands after each movement. His typically stiffened form was like putty in your hands, warmth radiating with every delicate touch. After finally pushing off the last barrier of clothing, it falling to the sides and joining the others in a small pile on the throne, you were greeted with his undershirt. “Such a sight this is,” You commented, gently placing your cheek against the palm of your right hand while the left hand pushed up the bottom of his shirt. A bit of his stomach and pelvis came into view, you pulling a lazy grin. “To see my King in such a weakened state..” you added, slowly trailing upwards. The shirt began to ride upwards against the wrist of your hand, Itsemi beginning to shutter at the feeling of your felt-covered hand sending shockwaves through his body.

“What a waste, this body is, on such a wandought man like you!” You teased in a laughing tone. Itsemi whined a bit at that as he evaded eye contact, his face complementing a soft red hue.

It was hard to tell if that was from arousal or embarrassment, however. Perhaps both?

“Do not tease me with such words, fool..” He croaked out, tilting his head back slightly. “Oh, my King,” Your hand finally reached its destination, cupping it for a brief moment. The hairs decorated across his body pricked through your gloves ever so slightly, due to the weak material. Though, you were undeterred. You lifted your thumb, beginning to circle his nipple in a rhythmic motion. “Is it really I who is the fool at this moment?” You question.

“You-”Istemi stopped mid-sentence, letting out a shaky moan at the sensation. “O-oh.. Heavens..~” he whispered out, pushing himself further into you as he partially covered up his mouth. You chuckle lightly at that, finding it rather cute. You free your right hand from the grasp of your cheek, pulling Itsemi’s shirt further upwards. “Be a dear and hold this for me?” You requested before shutting his hands. “With whatever you can, kindly.” Istemi took a moment to even register your words before giving a small nod, lowering his hand. He knew that he’d most likely get tired of holding his shirt up for however long with his hands, so he chose the next best option. He leaned forward slightly, opening up his mouth in a small ‘O’ shape before biting down, holding up his shirt with his mouth. You give your trademark smile, closing your eyes. “Good boy.” You praised him, causing Itsemi to visibly stiffen slightly as his body somehow got redder. You laugh sweetly at his reaction. “What a reaction!” You teased, placing both hands against your cheeks. “I wonder just how red you can get till you resemble a tomato.” he jeered, causing Itsemi to whine at you in embarrassment. You hum, waving your hands back and forth dismissively. “I kid, I kid..” You clarify, leaning downwards till you are in the eyeline with the bud. “Now, let us get back to it..” You whisper out before opening up your mouth slightly, taking in his left nipple before gently rubbing and pinching at the right. Your lips locked around the hardened nipple, your tongue teasingly rubbing around it while giving light nips now and then. You could feel each steadily getting warmer the more you showed attention to the two.

Istemi’s body shook slightly at the new sensation, feeling an overwhelming amount of warmth fill his senses. “F-fuck–” He cursed his head tilting back slightly as he felt your teeth graze over his bud. He lifted his hands, his fingers nestling themselves underneath your belled hat as he gripped onto your hair. “Ke- Uhn– K-keep going, please-.” He pleaded, squeezing his eyes tightly. You move your freehand slowly, trailing it down towards the tent slowly forming within Itsemi’s pants. The palm of your hand pressed down against his clothed tip, grinding it down in a firm motion. You could feel Istemi’s body tense up underneath you, him letting out a low moan in a content response. You decide to push forward, tucking your hand into the crotch of his pants. His undergarment was rather thin, to the touch it felt like the thinnest of lenins.

It didn't leave much to mystery.

Your fingers traversed past his ever-aching erection, going to farther nether regions. Soon the distance and space you were given began to close in, your fingers beginning to grow encased between your King’s two firm, chiseled cheeks. It was warm, cramped, and ever so slightly hairy. It's a sense and texture that only you will ever get to know. Lucky you! Then; the pads of your fingers touched his puckered hole. Itsemi tensed up for a moment at the sudden touch.

“Ho–” he breathed out, grip tightening within the locks of your hair. “My g- haah–” his voice struggled to croak out, struggling to search for words. Nothing for him was connecting, not a word on the tip of his tongue. All that was able to formulate for him, was thoughts of pleasure and you. “I-”

“Hm?” You look upwards, eyes meeting Istemi’s finally. You slowly pull your lips away from his nipple, saliva now coating it in a faint glaze. “I- Uhnn..” He faintly whimpered out, closing his eyes firmly as he ground his rear further down against your fingers. “Use your words, my King.” You encouraged, your freehand lightly nudging at Istemi’s side.

“In,” Istemi finally gasped out, eyes fluttering open as the bottom of his shirt fell from his teeth. “In, please, in.” He pleaded, letting out a choked-out moan. “Yes, dearest.” You respond in a gentle tone. “But I do feel it is best to tell you that if I go in dry, I-”

Istemi reached up, his hand roughly grasping the ruff of your ensemble. He yanked you up towards his face, the two of you making close contact once more. “IN,” he demanded, voice going low once more. “This is an order from your king, fool.” he spoke to you slowly as his chest rose and fell, a soft color of red remaining on his form. You stare up at him for a good moment, eyes wide before giving a simper across your face. “Well!” you let out a giddy laugh, hands clasping together eagerly as you held them up. “You certainly know what you want now, don’t you?” you prompted the King before letting go.

“Bet that didn’t take much thought now, did it?” You wink at him playfully before pushing both of your hands underneath his legs. “What are y-” Before Istemi could finish his question, you lifted his legs with ease, causing him to slump in his chair with a startled yelp. His hands moved to grab onto the sides of the chair loosely, making sheepish eye contact with you. You let out a soft giggle, placing his legs on both of your shoulders gently. “Now,” a joyful glint filled your eyes. “To carry out my king’s order.”

[moonshynecybin]

#he really does cut people out cold shoulder them with no discussion huh.... fascinating man......#invisible transgressions remembered forever at arms length#he is. i think. pathologically nonconfrontational. idk even with the sepang stuff.#like he doesnt look at marc AT ALL only performs to the press. same with argentina he sends uccio.... <- *eye* have a theory that vale on his factory settings is actually quite a desperate people-pleaser. not necessarily in a "i need others to approve of me" way (though that too) but in a "i need for others to cheer for me" (to try and explain what i mean better, he's not doing anything just to get the approval but he wants to feel approved/supported for whatever he's doing. different catalysts for action, same need). that's why he can play the crowd so well. and sepang - i think it was genuinely a protracted breakdown caused by vale realizing he's not superhuman anymore and his lead slipping and compounded by the anniversary of the worst loss he's suffered in his life

post about graziano here, jorge confrontation here

like the thing about vale is. well we dont personally know him. so outside of stuff people close to him tell us, we only see the side of him he wants to show the press, which is still him, just more of a performance, i think. its already been discussed AT LENGTHHH that he loves to do this sort of performance and is just. generally very good at being a celebrity. and i think its an extension of his PR deftness that when jorge comes at him he just laughs and looks at his audience. he ropes them into a private joke, like can you believe this guy? which jorge (who takes to confrontation like a duck to water) HATES so bad. its a very effective deflection tactic. fr the easiest way to seem like the bad guy is to treat an argument like it is worthy of your attention. so he meep-meep roadrunner court jesters his way through off track conflict for the majority of his career. and yes he makes enemies and they tell US that he is being cold and prickly and treating them differently. but crucially. he does not seem anything other than a Chill Dude in front of the cameras. until well. sepang lol.

so yes! i think he is invested in controlling these narratives and good at it to boot. but!!!! where it gets crazy is when you get to the personal arenas. like the people he loves that he is actually invested in. where his feelings are on the line fr.

like for other (professional) conflicts he gets over it!! but not with his dad and not with marc. and part of the marc stuff is the ego involved (theyre having a GOAT-off) and the professional stakes, as ive discussed. BUT. i think he doesnt get over these two because. well. because they really really hurt his feelings, i think. like he's said in the past that he's been able to get over the rivalries he has with other racers (like biaggi) bc they WERENT friends before so he didnt gaf when it got nasty. but. he still. REALLY cares with marc. (and of course with his parents divorce. like yeah that makes sense) so i actually think its very telling that he isnt over sepang. and that he didnt look at marc at all whenever they had their epic divorce moments (sepang press conference, postrace argentina 2018) rosquez would be less real if he could just move on lol. like it is a divorce to them both for REAL. so vale is going to handle it the same way he did with his parents and quietly cut marc out while making it. VERY clear. that marc is no longer one of the people that he holds within the select bubble that gets to see vale without all of his press trappings.

[dafodils-on-the-moon]

!!!! So many questions bc I love this with all my heart <3 First, it's freaking hilarious that he became jester because he was "difficult to handle." LOVE that. Second, I gotta know, what does everyone else think about him? Arthur? Gwen? Morgana? Is Morgana doomed to die by the hands of a COURT JESTER?????

Ok so. Crucial part of this Au: Uther knows Merlin in Balinor’s son but does NOT know abt the magic. Merlin does not know about being Balinor’s son. Uther kept him cause he thinks it would be a good idea to have a dragonlord on hand that's loyal to Camelot, given what he's keeping under the castle.

Also I'm very aroace and don't wanna write romance for a while, so no romantic Murther.

Instead, Uther raises Merlin and Arthur as brothers. He deeply encourages the loyalty to one another as keeping Merlin loyal is essetail and Merlin is a very valuable asset that bears protecting. He emphasises to Arthur that as the eldest, Merlin is his responsibility and he should take care of him. Merlin is his younger brother.

Arthur takes to this role like a wildfire. Protective as SHIT over his new baby brother (Merlin is two years younger), esp. Since he was… not doing too hot when he first got to the castle. He was greiving and seemed *terrified* and didn’t speak at all for months. He was sickly too, for reasons no-one could pinpoint. Arthur had made it his mission to cheer Merlin up, as no one should be that sad. He and Merlin communicate at first via drawings.

He only seemed to improve after he started talking quietly to an imaginary freind he named “Kiggah.” It seemed to help cause merlin slowly started talking to Arthur and then in general and his health imrpved too.

Yeah… Merlin’s imaginary freind is Killgarrah lol.

Killgarrrah, or Kiggah as a now 5 year old Merlin could pernounce, is getting a major overhaul in this AU. His is going to be far far less of a bastard. Cause dragons are too cool for him to be the absolute worst.

In this AU Kiggah actually cares more THAT HIS ENTIRE RACE WAS ERADICATED than that he was trapped under the castle. Cause, fr, that is not the part id focus on. Also I gave him a family before, sorry man. Kiggah was also really really fond of dragonlings and hatchlings and was very excited to see the hatching of his first great-grandhatchling before the purge. Ow.

Anyway, Merlin is TERRIFIED of being in Camelot. He’s terrified he’s going to say something wrong and reveal his secret and die. He blames himslef for his mother’s death (cause he’s like 4 1/2 and thats normal for kids that age) and more specifically, his magic. So he supresses the shit out of it, which is why he’s so sickly.

Kiggah senses Merlin basically killing himslef and tries coaching Merlin into using his magic again. Adopts Merlin as his own hatchling. Kiggah doesn’t know Merlin’s dad is Balinor, but he DOES know he’s emrys, magic itself. As a result, Kiggah views Merlin as a fellow magical creature and raises him accordingly. He… doesn’t really get how human hatchlings are supposed to work.

Merlin starts acting weirdly dragonlike. His growling, he’s biting people, hee’s climbing everything, hoarding things and has a major fixation with fire. He is gettign “difficult to handle” as UTHER, assumes this is just how dragonlordlings are, (good gracious), but needs a way to coverup the fact he’s raising one.

Fooleswurth, nuerdodivergent in ye-old times, sees Merlin and his like “haha verily. Reminds me of when I was that age, I was just the same. He must have “The Jester’s Spark, haha.”’ Uther goes “yes and” and now fooleswurth has an apprentice and Uther has a way to explain why his ward is so weird.

Anyway, Kiggah is NOT excited about Merlin’s new older sister, but Merlin loves her. He is very excited for whenever Morgana’s magic manifests. She grows on Kiggah. (Esp. With all teh trouble she gives Uther). Morgana’s going to be fine.

She and Merlin get on like a house on fire. Gossipy bitches. Morgana sics Melrin and his “jester’s privolegde” on bothersome nobles to insult them into the ground.

Gwen becomes Morgana’s maidservent, and she Morgana and Merlin are great friends.

[mazzystar24]

the edits once they go canon are going to be next level

(i also admittedly can’t wait to be petty too and comment on every single one of them going “look at this beautiful CANON ship” since apparently being canon is the only thing that makes a ship valid /j🤭🤭)

Our range🤩

we can be sobbing over edits while being petty 😭😭

No fr tho the minute gay Eddie or buddie are canon I’m giggling and making jokes like no tomorrow

I may not have the talent to make edits or fics or anything but I am a court jester at heart so I shall be making many many jokes

Back to the edits yesss I will personally be requiring:

My love mine all mine

Lover you shouldve come over (personally one of my ideal songs if the buddie confession/kiss required a soundtrack)

Paper rings

Lover

The alchemy

He could never love you (SHUT UP SHUT UP I GOTTA GO MAKE A POST OR ANNOY MY FIC WRITING FRIENDS ABOUT THIS ONE)

Until I found you (cos of the how could we ever just be friends)

We’re in love (boygenius l because it’s so underrrated and so unbelievably a buddie song - “we’re not swapping blood” “And I told you of your past lives, every man you've ever been It wasn't flattering But you listened like it mattered” “would you still love me if it turns out I’m insane I know what you’ll say but it helps to hear you say it anyway” “And I'll be feeling lonely So I'll walk to karaoke” “Who looks like hell and asks for help And if you do, I'll know it's you” “I can't imagine you without the same smile in your eyes There is something about you That I will always recognize And if you don't remember I will try to remind you”

Keep me warm - Ida Marie (also one of my buddie ideal soundtracks and also criminally underrated as a buddie song)

Anything from hozier’s discography that man can scream into the mic and it’d be the most romantic shit you’ve ever heard

Crack option: my best friend’s hot by the dollyrots (yes this was also my crack karaoke guess but listen I need this song to play around buck when in proximity to Eddie- whatta man scene 2.0 if you may)

Truly truly - grant Lee buffalo

So highschool - listen Eddie officially does know how to ball and you can’t tell me walking encylopedia has full ass bookshelves in the loft buck doesnt in fact know Aristotle - plus y’all already know they will have no sense of decorum (yes this is about the lyrics jk jk)

Lucky- Jason mraz, colbie caillat (I don’t even particularly listen to this song but “lucky I’m in love with my best friend lucky to have been where I’ve been lucky to be coming home again they don’t know how long it takes waiting for a love like this”)

Nothing- Bruno major (CMON THE VIDEO GAMES AND THE DOMESTICITY IT ALL SO BUDDIE)

Oh god you asked for none of this but you’re getting these songs 😭😭 sorry babe you should know I’ll take a simple ask and go on and on😔💔💔💔💔

[visenyasdragon]

My brilliant and correct headcanons about Laena Velaryon 💞🌊🐉

She thinks the tradition of putting dragon eggs in cradles is not entirely a good idea because it leaves and older dragons riderless and then they can get lonely!!! Can't allow that. Also who would want a hatchling when you can just claim an older bigger dragon. Doesn't really understand that those are usually more picky when choosing riders and she just got incredibly lucky with Grandma Vhagar </3

She would not be happy with her daughters being betrothed to obvious bastards and their own claims to Driftmark and the Iron Throne bypassed

Thinks she actually would make a better Lord of Driftmark than Laenor, but she loves her older brother so she only teases him about it sometimes, she would never dream of usurping him

Thinks Laenor's marriage to Rhaenyra was a huge mistake and low-key resents Corlys for arranging it. She thinks Laenor should just have stayed unmarried. She agrees with her mother on that point

Sometimes when she was a child her father would rant that Viserys was stingy in not giving her and Laenor a princely title as was their right as children of royal blood, but she doesn't give a fuck. She has Vhagar so all princesses are automatically less slay than her 👑

She loves seafood, and fish of all kinds, and prefers them far more than roasted game and fowl served in the capital

She's bisexual but we all know that so let's move on

She has a stellar haircare routine funded by her dad. She owns the best hair soaps, oils scented and unscented, jewelled ivory combs, ironwood/mahogany/weirwood/oak combs and brushes, so her silver curls always look PERFECT, glossy and shiny and springy. Her maids (often of Summer Islander descent) are chosen partially based on their expertise in caring for curly hair. The miserable wigs on the show were a psyop

She loves shopping trips to Spicetown and Hull for new clothes and hair products (she's just like me fr)

Daemon was in love with her so help me god

She loves to listen or read about the Conquerors and is very proud to ride Visenya's dragon, but would probably not consent to be a polygamous wife unless she knew for sure that she would retain her position and not be sidelined at all

Huge girl mom. Her daughter's must have the best dresses, toys, nursemaids, servants, guards, tutors, books, of everythingggg just like she had as a child

Knows that some day Rhaena will have a dragon of her own

Loves dragons, especially old and huge ones, but dislikes horses. She thinks they're stupid, unreliable, and much too slow. She hated her horse riding lessons as a child because she lives on an island, what's the point? Why can't mother or Laenor just take her on dragonback whenever they need to go somewhere they can't get in foot? But Corlys insisted they learn to ride the best horses because he wanted that status symbol. So when she claimed Vhagar at 12, she never rode her horse again

Loves to dance, knows all the old Valyrian dances and Westerosi reels

She finds court jesters annoying and unfunny

The more she learns of Alicent's marriage as she grows up the happier she is she dodged that bullet oof. To be so disrespected constantly!!! Couldn't be her

Prefers silver to gold jewelry. But obviously Corlys made sure she has plenty of both bc he's Corlys

Loves to swim in the sea like any Velaryon

Speaks fluent High Valyrian because that's the language Velaryons speak most of the time, especially in private

[atopvisenyashill]

i wish they’d included mushroom in the show bc the idea that rhaenyra just had this court jester who insisted on telling dirty jokes constantly chilling with her thru the entire war as her whole life crashed down around her is hilarious to me. but also when he writes that sometimes he was the only one who could make her smile. idk like i know he says some wild shit about her but all of it is stuff i think rhaenyra would find hilarious. they were besties fr

[attaboy-art]

every day i get closer and closer to cosplaying dex