#hes kind of exactly what we need but theyre being difficult w him and it’s pissing me tf off

[coyoxxtl]

we got a new coworker who is cool and i really like but my managers are giving him a little more heat for mistakes than i usually see from them and considering he’s a black man it does Not look good

[pinkmoondoll9shihtzu]

pinkmoonmutual i think i have come to u about my adoring fixations on older men before. I woke up from a dream where I was hanging out with this guy I really like and it was so wonderful and perfect and exactly what I want from him....a very nice dream to have, and it fits into what ive been working on recently which is human relationships and figuring out what I want and how to have it... its difficult for me because I love people SO MUCH often after a very short amount of time, this is especially true of older people because I crave sibling affection I didn't get growing up but it happens with people my own age too. and ah idk I'm never sure how to express it to people because love and intensity are things most people only want and expect from romantic attraction. and I'm not opposed to that but especially with older men this becomes difficult because the people I love are not interested in dating people 10 years younger than them and really it would be inappropriate (this guy was my professor! not gonna happen!) and i just end up feeling really creepy and weird and not knowing what to do with this huge adoration and affection inside me. so tricky I really wish you could just be /in love/ with someone and tell them and have them see it as a nice thing and not me trying to get sex or romantic commitment from them. i wish i was a little dog so i could just curl up at his feet and have it be simple. guuuuhhhhhhhh honestly i just wanted to tell you about my crush. I only knew this guy for like a month and a half so its a bit silly but hes so pretty and smart and cool and really inspired me to live and pushed me in the direction im currently going. its just tricky tricky im probably over complicating it but do you think there's more to love than the relationships that people in our world expect? I love people like theyre a god TT .. even talking about it here feels vapid compared to how it is for me. anyway nice dream thanks universe and i hope the pinkmoonworld is nice today <3

i understand u <3 it is a vary nice day in pinkmoonworld thanku for the wish~~~i know this dilemma tho sigh , my thoughts below..

i always felt like my admiration of people was extreme & consuming , i still do to a certain extent its a big part of the reason WHY i became a bit withdrawn like i struggle w how attached i get to others. i dont want to ask for anything in return but i feel shame when people find me creepy lol. And even then, that shame isnt rly the reason i've become untrusting with my heart, cold ppl r the least of my worries, i understand them.. moreso it's dangerous for me when i encounter someone who recognizes i am This Way & instead of being plainly disinterested or aloof they consciously decide to Use my affections in a sinister manner for their own advantage. that's what's mainly caused me to bcome distant even tho i want to love those ppl too.

so despite distance i still need some outlet for these loveful feelings so i guess i've spent the past 5-ish years working on ways to be overly compassionate in a safer manner.. And a big part of that is that i rly find the purest form of love to be platonic love, when theres not really any expectations or prize for being close to someone yet u still are, that kind of love speaks the deepest to me. and it's funny because really shortly after i surrendered my quest for romantic love, like completely surrendered , is when i met SLIMBO, and thru my efforts to be a really good friend to them we ended up falling sooooooo deeply sincerely in love like nothing i;ve ever known. if we had rushed into a relationship idk if it wld be the same , like having it slowly blossom over the course of a few years w no pressure, it's the foundation upon which we could be SO deeply sure we would always be together.

So the way u speak of loving ur crush, i'd say, just continue to act kindly towards him and everyone else u encounter, with no expectations of them.. people really need this like i think everyone needs to know what it feels like to experience a True Friend a selfless friend. it's rare! i rarely meet anyone who i feel doesn't want *something* from me that i cant give them. and i dont even want to hold that against them! im just saying, what U feel is rare so u should embrace it. allow yourself to exude love as much as u can and that frequency will return to u, just like how it did for me and slimbo...And other friends ive made along the way ^_^ Follow you heart.. maybe he's older but who knows what could happen. i've dated ppl 10 years older than me cus i have always acted like grandpa. sometimes ppl will just see u for ur soul.

and maybe ur dream is pointing u in a right direction, idk, i confessed my love to slimbo a few days after having a dream that we held hands. Ofc we had been friends for 2 years by this point so the time felt right, not every dreams mean u should confess, but i feel like having a sweet dream such as that can be a sort of telepathic experience sometimes.. show a connection between you and him on the astral plane. Take time to enjoy life n enjoy having a crush too cus it can be really fun to feel that crazy over someone :] thats my thoughts.....good luck with your heart, PMD9 out !

[hazujosh]

the way that hazuki is literally such a perfect match for joshua is sooo so sickening. they're peers? smth that joshua's been lacking for? forever? joshua who has not allowed himself to connect w the humanity he's always felt connected to inside of him paired with a guy who will absolutely just initiate conversation and whatever if he feels the need to is so. mwah chefs kiss. i dont care that they have exactly (1) interaction its everything. of course it makes sense for joshua to be bitter about the events that hazuki caused but it's also. does he hate hazuki? i dont think so. despite the bitterness he feels it's more complicated than that because after all joshua almost did basically the same thing it's just. he changed his perception before it happened. In what hanekoma didn't trust in (rightfully so), hazuki did. (granted we dont really know the exact reasoning for shinjuku's cleanse but...im setting that aside for now because this isnt about ntwewy's blanks in background info) .... Joshua's growth is what makes him bitter about it but it's also what makes him receptive towards seeing the changes that hazuki could make....the ways he could connect with humanity....... and then joshua asking hazuki about his conversation with rindou? in twewy's secret ending we see how he just turns away and disengages when hanekoma tries to engage with joshua after noticing he seems down, so it feels so interesting when he starts to open up about his own feelings after hazuki expresses his confusion to him. even though joshua doesn't. really need to know about that? he doesn't even need to tell hazuki about himself either... and also in the jp text rather than saying "you need to watch where you're going" after hazuki says he was just following after joshua he says smth like "really? im still inexperienced" (take the TL w a grain of salt bc my jp is not great but the text is 本当？まだまだ未熟だね). and it's like yea i mean joshua has lied and he's been kind of strange when he talks abt emotional stuff from wht we see in twewy (it's either testing neku in his feelings and beliefs or avoiding them entirely) but im inclined to think he's genuine there? because yes it would make sense that he would agree now that his idea to erase shibuya was a bad one? that he was inexperienced then and he might still feel inexperienced even after three years because he'd probably be dealing with navigating being more of a Person post-twewy with what he learned and then you know. having to trap your best friend who proved that you shouldn't give up on yourself and give up on humanity to protect him while also having to deal with whatever the fuck is going on in shibuya right after you decided to save that shit because you let yourself love it again. AND IT'S LITERALLY RIGHT AFTER JOSHUA SAYS (in the jp text, again loose tl) that hazuki has always been sloppy in regards to the lower plane....omg. like...its not like he has to extend kindness to hazuki but. he does. probably because he understands how hazuki came to do what he did. Again theyre just. exactly what they need for each other. joshua needs a push to get on with accepting the faucets of his emotions and humanity that he's repressed by being put into such a difficult position for (presumably) a teenager and hazuki needs someone who's willing to teach him about all of that.....we could even slot them under Male Yuri. theyve fascinated me in the like 2 minutes they have together. they fulfil the same needs of water and air and foo

[nicknellie]

Anonymous requested: “tricked into 7 minutes in heaven at a party” AU with willex, where theyre close friends and apart of the same friend group, and their friends know they both like each other and are tired of watching them dance around each other so they devise a plan to have a party and play seven minutes in heaven, and get them to be alone together in a closet or room or something. so a sort of getting together/modern AU with some kissing cause the boys deserve it?

I had to Google what 7 Minutes In Heaven is. Anyway!! I love this prompt so much, it’s so so sweet. We love some getting together fluff. Thank you so much for suggesting it!

Title from Alone by Heart.

The Secret Is Still My Own

Alex could have kicked himself for not realising what this was much earlier. It was probably Luke’s idea. Maybe Julie’s – she could be sneaky when she wanted to be. It didn’t really matter who had devised the plan, all that Alex was worried about now was the fact that he was about to spend seven minutes locked in a small room with Willie and the likelihood was that it was going to be utterly dreadful.

A few months ago when Alex and Willie had first met, it wouldn’t have been so awful. Their friendship had been fresh and exciting and there had been an easy banter flowing between the two of them that made Alex feel light and giddy. He had been glad to spend time with Willie then, looking for every excuse to hang out with him because who wouldn’t? Willie was funny, kind, intelligent, and everything good in the world. Alex would have been mad to not want to spend time with him. It didn’t take long for Alex to realise he was falling for Willie, quickly and with no signs of stopping.

And he made the grave mistake of telling that to Luke.

“Dude,” Luke had said, grabbing Alex’s shoulders. “You gotta ask him out!”

“What? No!” Alex had protested. He tried to wriggle free but Luke’s grip was like iron and he gave up after a moment or two. “I don’t want to. I like being friends with him.”

“Yeah, but imagine if you were more than friends,” Luke pressed, grinning wildly. “It’s not like he’d say no – he’s head over heels for you, man.”

“He is?”

“I think so.”

“That’s not proof,” Alex deadpanned. “You also thought that if you ate watermelon seeds one would grow inside you. Then you cried when Reggie ate them.”

“That was ages ago!” Luke whined.

“It was last week, but alright.”

“Alright, fine, I’m a bad example,” Luke admitted. “But what if I told you that Julie thinks Willie likes you?”

Alex considered it for a moment. Julie was definitely more reliable than Luke, and where Luke was almost definitely guessing about whether or not Willie had feelings for Alex, Julie had probably spoken to Willie herself to find out. So he shrugged and gave Luke a short nod.

“Does she think so?” he asked, trying to keep the hope out of his voice.

“Dude,” Luke scoffed. “She was the one to point it out to me. You and Willie are made for each other, bro! Ask him out or I’ll have to do it for you.”

Alex hadn’t asked Willie out. It hadn’t been because he didn’t want to or because he didn’t think Luke and Julie were right – it was because he simply didn’t know how. How was he supposed to go up to Willie, a literal angel, and ask him on a date without spontaneously combusting? He didn’t want to make a fool of himself, not in front of Willie.

He had thought that Luke was joking about getting Alex and Willie together himself. That had, of course, been an incredibly naïve thing to believe. When Luke said he’d do something, he meant it – Alex should have learnt that from the time Luke had said he would lick an electric fence and then followed through immediately and without hesitation. So really he shouldn’t have been surprised when Luke made it his mission to get Alex and Willie together.

The first time it had happened was when Alex and Willie were hanging out alone in the studio. They had been talking, just catching up with each other, and it had been nice. Willie had been halfway through a story about one of the kids at the nursery he worked part-time at when all of a sudden the lights in the studio had dimmed and slow, romantic music had begun drifting from the stereo in the corner.

Willie had looked utterly bemused, a quiet half-smile gracing his features. “What’s all this?”

“I don’t know,” Alex told him, standing up and flicking the lights back on, then going to the stereo and turning the music down all the way. “Sorry about that. It’s never happened before.”

“You mean you didn’t set it up?” Willie asked.

“No,” Alex replied, looking around the studio. Unsurprisingly, he had spotted Luke in the attic, hidden amongst the beanbags, the stereo’s remote in his hands. He didn’t even have the good grace to look guilty, instead giving Alex a cheery wave.

“Oh,” Willie had said. His tone made Alex turn to face him – there was something in it he couldn’t quite put a name to. “Okay. Anyway, so, as I was saying…”

Luke’s plans had not improved from then on. He had pulled the classic “invite both of them to hang out but don’t show up so they’re just spending time together one-on-one”, he had dedicated an entire setlist to Willie at their most recent gig and told the entire crowd that it had been Alex’s idea, and every time Alex and Willie had a conversation he would find a way to muscle in and very unsubtly suggest they go on a date.

It was making Alex’s life a misery.

Because now every time he saw Willie felt painstakingly awkward. The both of them were just waiting for Luke to show up and do whatever he’d planned, after which they’d be steeped in brittle, tense silence until one of them found an excuse to back out of the situation. The ease and light-heartedness their friendship had once been built on was pretty much shot to pieces. Alex knew that Luke meant well, but he was almost certain that he had ruined everything.

It didn’t help that Luke had got Julie, Reggie, and Flynn in on it too, though they were much less heavy-handed than he was when it came to getting them together. Reggie’s main tactic was ask if they’d been on a date yet every time he saw them but leave it alone once they said no, while Julie and Flynn tended to talk to Alex away from Willie and try and convince him that they were, in Flynn’s words, a match made in heaven.

“He totally wants you to ask him out,” Flynn gushed on one of these occasions. “Did you see the way he was looking at you earlier? He’s in love.”

“Things are awkward enough between us as it is,” Alex had explained. “I’m not going to make it worse by asking him out.”

“Well, maybe you don’t need to ask him on a date,” Julie suggested, ever the voice of reason. Alex inwardly thanked her – at least somebody was on his side. “But I do think you need to at least talk about what’s going on between you.”

He revoked his inward thank-you.

“We don’t need to talk,” Alex insisted. “If we just leave it alone then the problem will eventually go away.”

“That’s always your solution,” Julie said.

“And it never works,” Flynn added.

“If you just face your feelings head-on and actually try communicating with him you might get somewhere,” Julie said. Alex looked at her and knew she was telling the truth – her eyes were wide and kind, her mouth set into a gentle smile, and she looked as if she wanted nothing more than to help Alex. “You’ve been dancing around each other for so long, all you need to do is figure out where you both are. Trust me.”

He had shrugged inelegantly and let Flynn change the direction of the conversation, grateful to be talking about something else.

But he hadn’t taken Julie’s advice. Talking to Willie was difficult. Their banter was all but gone and their conversations lasted no more than a few minutes at most. It was a lot easier when they were with all their friends, in a big group where they could talk to others, which had been exactly the reason that Alex wasn’t worried about the impromptu party Julie had invited everyone to that night.

And look where it had got him.

It had been Luke who suggested it during a lull in conversation.

“Why don’t we play Seven Minutes in Heaven?”

The suggestion had been met with excited ‘ooooh’s from most of the group sat around the studio, all except Alex. The last time he’d played Seven Minutes in Heaven had been in middle school – he had been locked in a closet with a girl in his class, she had kissed him incredibly awkwardly, he had blurted “I’m too gay for this” and fallen ungracefully out of the closet with six minutes still left on the clock. While that had been years and years ago, the memory still burned with embarrassment.

“Count me out,” he said. “That game is cursed.”

“I think you’re thinking of Bloody Mary in the Mirror,” Reggie supplied. “That game is cursed. This one’s just a bit of fun.”

“Absolutely not,” Alex said, shaking his head. “You guys can play, I’m staying out of it.”

“Oh, come on, Alex,” whined Luke, “everyone has to play! Otherwise it’s no fun.”

“You might not even get picked,” Julie said helpfully.

“But also you might,” Luke added.

Alex looked around the room at his friends – Reggie was smiling encouragingly, Luke looked put-out that Alex had even thought about refusing, Julie and Flynn were looking at him with hope and excitement in their eyes that he really didn’t want to crush, and Willie… Willie was avoiding eye contact altogether.

He didn’t know what it was that did it, but finally he relented. “I’ll play.”

Luke punched the air triumphantly and began entering everyone’s names into a generator he’d brought up on his phone. Alex watched with bated breath as the little wheel spun, slowing down until it landed on a name. The screen lit up with an over-the-top fireworks animation and the name ‘WILLIE’ in garish bubble writing.

Alex didn’t look at Willie, but he did feel his own insides squirm. What if he was picked next? He wasn’t sure he could last seven minutes alone with Willie. What was he supposed to talk about? What was he supposed to do? How was he meant to act like it wasn’t the most awkward thing he’d ever done especially after everything that had happened in the past few months?

Luke set the spinner off again and Alex watched nervously as it ticked through all the names. The firework animation lit up the screen again and when it was cleared the name ‘ALEX’ was left behind, glowing in all its bubble writing glory.

He tried not to sigh in defeat and he stayed put, no matter how much he wanted to leg it from the room and never come back.

“Alright then!” Julie said, clapping her hands and beaming. “Alex and Willie! You guys feeling up for this?”

Alex didn’t have an answer, but it appeared that Willie did. He stood up and offered a hand to pull Alex to his feet too, smiling gently.

“I’m ready,” he said, though Alex didn’t miss the waver in his voice. “How about you, hotdog?”

He could feel his friends’ eyes boring into him like lasers, but kept his own eyes trained on Willie, searching his expression with no idea what he was actually searching for. Eventually though, he gave a resolute nod and said, “Yeah. Yeah, I’m ready. Let’s do this.”

“You can go into the bathroom,” Julie said, pointing towards the little room at the back of the studio. “You’ll have to lock the door yourselves.”

Alex nodded and mutely followed Willie into the bathroom. He shut and locked the door behind them, then flicked the light-switch on. Immediately, Willie flicked it back off.

“Why can’t we have the lights on?” he asked. “I can’t see you.”

“Those are the rules, hotdog,” Willie returned. His voice sounded like it was coming from the opposite side of the room, but Alex couldn’t be sure. After all, he couldn’t see anything.

He could feel his heart hammering in his chest and sweat starting to bead on his forehead as he slid himself down the wall to sit on the floor. He had no reason to feel so nervous right then; he’d been alone with Willie a thousand times, this didn’t have to be any different just because it was in a small dark room and they had a time limit ticking over their heads. Admittedly, he hadn’t been alone with Willie all that often recently, but he shouldn’t have been too out of practise.

“So,” he ventured, rubbing his hands along his legs, hoping the repetitive movements would dull his nerves. “What do you want to talk about?”

Willie was silent for a moment and Alex was sure that he’d somehow already put a foot wrong. Briefly, he considered unlocking the door and trying to leave very quietly so that Willie wouldn’t notice, but he realised quickly that plan wouldn’t work because he would never get past his friends in the studio. All he could do was stick it out for six and a half more minutes.

But mercifully, Willie finally spoke.

“Things have been weird recently, huh, hotdog?”

It teased a laugh from Alex, if only a small one. Because yes. Yes, things had been incredibly weird and he hated it.

“Yeah,” he agreed, “it’s been weird. I’m sorry about Luke and the others.”

“You don’t need to apologise,” Willie said. Alex could hear the smile in his voice and found himself relaxing. “It doesn’t really bother me. But… I mean, it seemed like it was bothering you. I’ve been trying to give you a little space but I don’t know if that’s what you want.”

“No,” Alex said, far too quickly. He tried to rein himself in a little, not wanting things to descend back into that dangerous awkward territory. “No, I don’t want you to give me space. I really like hanging out with you, Willie. I don’t want to stop that. I just wish they’d stop teasing.”

There was another pause, smaller this time, barely perceptible.

“Why?” Willie asked quietly.

“Because,” Alex began, but he quickly found himself lost for words.

How was he supposed to explain it to Willie when he found it hard to explain it to himself? He didn’t like their teasing because he was scared. He didn’t like their teasing because he didn’t want to make Willie uncomfortable. He didn’t like their teasing because this thing, whatever it was, between him and Willie was theirs and only theirs and he wanted to keep it between that way. Because he wanted to make these decisions on his terms, not when his friends decided he should.

“Because?” Willie prompted.

Alex swallowed his pride and his nerves and made himself speak.

“Because I really like you, Willie. And when our friends try and find ways to get us together it just feels awful because I want to do it myself. I don’t want them to intervene or mess this up. I want to do it my way. They keep saying that you like me too – is that true?”

Silence again. Alex could hardly stand it.

“Yeah,” Willie said finally. With that single word Alex felt like he could breathe more easily than ever before. “I do. Like you, I mean. And I get it. I’m sorry this whole thing has been such a mess.”

Alex huffed a laugh. “Blame Luke.”

“Oh, I will,” Willie replied through a chuckle.

Alex heard him shuffle across the bathroom floor and felt their sides press together as Willie came to sit next to him. Without thinking he laid his head down on Willie’s shoulder, then felt Willie rest his head on his in return.

“So,” Alex said again. “What does this mean for us?”

“What do you want it to mean?” Willie asked teasingly, the smile on his face evident in his voice.

“Are we dating?” he asked. He could feel his own smile tugging at his lips as Willie slipped an arm around his shoulders.

He felt Willie press a gentle kiss to the top of his head. “Yes, Alex. We’re dating.”

Maybe it was the late hour, maybe it was the dark room, maybe it was the rush of adrenaline he got from hearing Willie day the words “we’re dating”, but something gave him a warm and welcome rush of courage and he said, before he could think better of it, “Can I kiss you?”

“Well,” Willie said, “I think that’s what usually happens in this game.”

“I don’t want to kiss you because of the game,” Alex told him. He knew Willie was probably joking, but he wanted to be certain. He wanted to make it clear that none of this was because of the game (mainly because Luke had probably rigged it somehow and Alex still wanted to do this his own way). He needed to show that this was for Willie and for himself, nothing else.

“I know,” Willie said gently. “I don’t either. I just want to kiss you.”

Alex slid a hand up to cup Willie’s jaw and they slowly came together. Willie’s lips were softer than Alex thought should be allowed, the kiss gentle and slow. It felt perfect, like fireworks had been lit in Alex’s soul (though much better fireworks than the terrible animation on Luke’s random selector wheel). He felt Willie’s fingers knot through his hair and pull them closer together.

It hadn’t gone the way Alex would have really liked. He didn’t get to ask Willie out on his terms. But from now on, with Willie as his boyfriend, they could do everything else on their terms. They could go at their own speed, hand-in-hand, with no ticking time limit set by their friends. They could move at their own pace with nobody but each other.

And Alex could breathe easy.

*

Taglist (if you want to be added or removed just let me know): @ace-bookworm @williexmercer @willex-owns-my-heart @itstiger720 @the-reckless-and-the-brave @that-one-newsie @bluedarkness @lookingthroughmirrors @teammightypen @salty-star @julieandthequeers @lmaohuh @sunnysbright 

[axemetaphor]

oh i have looked for a one of these for an ot3 for So Long adn finally i found one this is amaziing

these are just my headcanons and because i can Never help myself im gonna go on a ramble under the cut

so in canon babe/baby seems to be dave & amy's Thing, their go-to petnames, and i think to avoid any kinda confusion john & amy would adopt 'honey' as their go-to petnames. john and dave dont often use pet names with each other so like. the 2 that i wrote down there are Rarely Used but they Are used every now and then. most of the time theyre just "dude (romantically)"

i dont actually know their canon ages at this point like i think in book 3 theyre mid/late-20s, but overall i think theyre all pretty close in age. i think amy is a year younger than them, and of the two dudes dave is older by just like. 2 months lmao

i think amy & dave was a case of love-at-first-sight while john & dave was more a case of them both just slowly falling into it. amy probably also fell in love w john slower than she did with dave but still faster than it took the two of them to fuckin Sort Their Shit Out lmao

also the 'misadventures' chart was really difficult because really john and dave are constantly getting themselves into and out of trouble but In General i think john tends to poke the metaphorical bear the most. and amy is kinda always willing to join in the shenanigans much as dave would rather she didnt and would keep herself safe lmao

I put amy as the one who budgets because in my opinion john simply Cant Budget, nobody ever taught him, and dave's version of budgeting is Just Don't Really Spend Money, which can be kinda unhealthy. i think either her parents or Big Jim could've taught amy at least a little about budgeting and therefore she's got the best idea of how to actually Live and not Just Survive or Waste Money lmao

In Defense Of Saying Dave Would Admit His Feelings First: honestly a Lot of the dynamic between john and dave is that dave has a lot of hangups and john knows Exactly Why and therefore is very cautious with him/lets dave take most of the initiative. which doesnt happen much because dave is equally afraid of violating any kind of boundary. SO i think it would go that amy nudges dave into telling john how he feels, because john is never going to be the one to approach dave, because he doesnt wanna upset the guy

john and dave would Not let amy die to protect them but rest assured, emotionally, she is also on that level.

important note: while amy will scream about a bug she will also squash it. shes no coward she just Gets Startled. dave also will let out what he'd tell you is a very manly squeak if he sees a particularly big spider.

to amend the Experience Slider: i think amy has more experience with online/long-distance relationships than either of the other two. but john definitely has the most experience overall, dave's way too shy

i think dave is Technically Detached like. he Seems To Be detached. but we all know in reality he would probably die without john and amy

dave's better with verbal affection when it comes to john because again, He Has Some Hangups. in general i think he fluctuates between more verbal/more physical as i think he sometimes has phases of "nobody touch me, ever"

john imo gets Very Jealous Very Easily but not in an angry/possessive way more like if someone else hits on dave/amy he will for sure pull the "this guy bothering you, babe?" if they seem even slightly uncomfortable about it. like. he trusts them of course, but hes also Jealous yknow he very much wants other people to Know He's There lmao

its actually Almost Sad that dave kind of Has to be the clothes-lender in the trio because he could probably only fit into some of john's jackets lmao. but john and amy swap clothes a lot imo and of course they both steal dave's shirts and hoodies all the time

John Needs Attention So Much. he most definitely will interrupt something the other two are doing to Politely Demand Attention either by way of Being Involved (he's the worst backseat-writer when Dave is working) or just convincing them to take a break to talk to him

[shenanigans-academia]

Season 2 w/ Internship Arc/ Final Exams

Episode 26: Time To Pick Some Names

•The kids are so cute, they’re like “we’re FAMOUS” precious babies

•”Congratulations Todoroki on your offers”

“It’s PrObaBlY BecAuSe oF My FaTheR” just take the W babe

•BABY AIZAWA AND HIZASHI we need more flashback episodes I live for a Baby Emo Shouta

•”You’re not even French are you that’s just an act isn’t it?” Call him out Sato

•Alien Queen is amazing stfu Midnight

•FROPPY FROPPY FROPPY

•WE STAN RED RIOT

•ALL MIGHT JUNIOR I’m crying

•I love Jirou and Kaminari’s friendship. Which is mostly her bullying him (reminds me of me and my friend Zack I should call him)

•Okay Cellophane is actually a really good name as well as ChargeBolt. Creati is probably my favorite tho

•”WHY DONT WE GO OUTSIDE AND ILL SHOW YOU EXACTLY WHY MURDER SHOULD BE IN MY NAME” BAKUGOU YOU’RE TRYING TO BE A H E R O

•Also I love how Kirishima just loves to push B’s buttons

•I relate to All Might freaking out so fucking much

•Iida you shady bitch THEY CARE ABOUT YOU AND JUST WANT TO HELP

Episode 27: Bizarre! Gran Torino Appears

•Oooh new intro ngl I think I preferred the beginning half of season 2 theme TENYA FLASHING HIS GLASSES AND TENSEI BEING REFLECTED IN THEM THAT SHIT HURTED

•Gran Torino gives me the biggest whiplash istg

•Brooding Iida is a Time guys

•”what makes a movement special” only flashes of Bakugou show

•TESTU AND KIRI IN THE SAME AGENCY I FORGOT LOVE THE HARD BOI TWINS

•The fact that Momo and Kendo got picked for their internships just because they’re pretty genuinely makes me upset

•okay but Sho could’ve chosen literally any other place to intern why did he go to his dad who he actively hates (with good reason)

•Ayyeee he didn’t break his legs. Maybe he still hasn’t figured out he can exactly use them yet. Look at baby bunny go

•Omozan I see you

•Izuku you are just as sweet as that fish dessert

•FANTASY AU END CREDITS IM LIVING if Hirokoshi doesn’t want to make another movie after this next one comes out he should just make mini films out of all the AUs he makes because honestly I want to see them all animated ESPECIALLY the Fantasy AU that would be Dope with a capital D my dudes

Episode 28: Midoriya & Shigaraki

•oof Midoriya you tried sweetie you did good

•BAKUGOU MAKEOVER TIME. Serving Looks by Best Jeanist we Stan

•I always forget the Nomu were once actual people what the fuck

•Anndddd things are getting tense. These poor kids don’t know what’s coming

•Dark Iida is. Intense

•I love Iida’s Internship Mentor he’s a good boy

•Shigaraki honey. Please. Get therapy

•Okay but Midoriya’s icon for himself on his phone or whatever he’s using to message Iida is All Might and that is just so him

•Iida you’re so DUMB STAIN IS RIGHT YOU ARE A C H I L D STOP MONOLOGUING YOUR REVENGE

Episode 29: Hero Killer Stain VS. U.A. Students

•The Nomus are so fucking gross

•Fuck off Enji

•Midoriya is so good, worrying about other people like Iida

•Shigaraki is a giant man child

•Iida: “You took everything from me”

Stain: “I don’t even know who you are”

•I’m sorry but how did Stain figure out how his quirk worked like how do you find out you can freeze people by ingesting their blood without having to do so crazy fucked up shit when you were younger

•BUNNY BOY BOUNCE

•Iida I love you but you Dumb

•Todoroki being like “i know you’re not the type of person to send cryptic messages so I knew you were in trouble” yeah he knows his boy

•Iida shut UP

•”you’ve got a dark side I guess my family isn’t the only one” Todoroki now is not the time to be emo

•Ah okay decent explanation for why Sho chose Endeavor that i forgot okay now makes sense

•Iida your inner Bakugou is showing

•IM SO PROUD OF TODOROKI it’s only been a couple of episodes since the Sports Festival but he’s already shown improvement and I love him

Episode 30: Climax

•I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again. I would die for Tensei Iida

•MIDO-IIDA-ROKI KICKING ASS IS WHAT I LIVE FOR

•”My friends may be in trouble” OUR BOY IS GROWING

•I will say at least Endeavor listened to Shouto and told other Pros to go help him

•Ah shiiiIIIIITTTTTT I forgot Mido got (semi) kidnapped and Stain escaped/ fucking DIED (???) I’m SHOOKETH

Started cooking dinner around this time and was in and out for the next 3 episodes so these are less in-depth until Episode 34

Episode 31: The Aftermath Of Hero Killer: Stain

•SHIGGY you Big Dumb

•DABI & TOGA SIGHTINGS HELL YEAH BABY

•“Once this night is over the world will forget he ever existed” whelp that’s what you get for being a little man child Shigaraki

•BAKUGOU IN JEANS IS A FUCKING LOOK OKAY

•Lmao Kiri I love a dumbass

•“Was that a boy?” OKAY I LOVE GUNHEAD

•MIDORIYA, URARAKA IS ONE OF YOUR BEST FRIENDS YOU SHOULD BE USED TO TALKING TO HER BY NOW YA DAMN NERD

•BIRTH OF THE HAND CRUSHER Todoroki’s having like a fucking existential crisis and Iida and Mido are fucking laughing at him I’m dead

Episode 32: Everyone’s Internships

•It says Everyone’s internships but it was mostly just Froppy. Jirou and Bakugou got some spotlight (Bakugou’s hair is just *chef kiss*) but yeah super proud of Tsuyu tho!

•Kiri and Testu kill me I love them so much I need more of them together

Episode 33: Listen Up!!! a Tale From The Past

•Honestly one of the 1st instances I can see Kaminari being the ~traitor~ since he’s low key hyping up Stain but I refuse to believe it because he’s such a good dumb boy And IF it is true then I want him to be such a total BAMF that it better make it worth the heart ache. Like the whole short circuiting thing be a ploy to make people think he’s weak when he could control it the whole time and you know what this is for a different post MOVING ON

��Everyone watching Mido go through the rescue exercise, “WOAH since when does he move like Bakugou???”

•Cut to Bakugou having a stroke lmao

•All Might you’re gonna make me CRY

Episode34: Gear Up For Final Exams

•“Sexiness isnt just an aesthetic” Midnight laying down facts

•Honestly? Fuck Mt. Lady. I want more Anime Groot Kamui Woods and Gunhead

•Final Exams stress is real no matter how powerful you are. Take notes kids

•“WIERDO LITTLE CREEPS LIKE YOU ARE ONLY LIKEABLE IF YOU’RE STUPID WHO’S GONNA LOVE YOU NOW” Kami is NOT holding back

•Teacher Momo is the best she’s so excited

•Kiri is pining SO HARD for Bakugou and Baku is blinded by the rage of his life he can’t see it Baby Shark is trying his best “Maybe I should beat the lessons into your skull” “I’m counting on it” KIRISHIMA THERE ARE BETTER WAYS TO FLIRT

•Shut the fuck up Monoma, Kendo come get your Rat Boy she’s just as done with him as everyone else is lmao

•”Deku, how you use your power is pissing me off I’m still better than you” every time he opens his mouth it’s either to curse someone out, to say Die, or accusing them of thinking their better than him. Honey. Go to therapy I’m begging

•WOW he uses Todoroki’s actual name

•Aizawa help the angry boy please

•“I didn’t leave anything blank at least!” MOOD KAMINARI

•How long was Nezu in Aizawa’s scarf???

•”We’re fighting...teachers?” Lmao yall fucked

•Midoriya & Bakugou against All Might. Aizawa really said fuck them kids

•Saving the most intense and chaotic for last I see

•Jirou “aren’t you just the announcer”

Mic “HEY WATCH YOUR MOUTH GIRL HAVE SOME RESPECT” he’s so butthurt haha leave Mic alone

•Aizawa is calling people out left and right we love a Ruthless Bitch

•Bakugou disses All Might. All Might “it’s on now you angry little asshole”

•MY BOY KIRISHIMA IS UP FIRST LETS GOOO AND WE FINALLY GET SOME SATO ACTION LETS GO SUGARMAN WE GOT SOME POWERFUL BOIS. Too bad they failed

•Tsuyu and Tokoyami are a good matchup and the fact they got the creepiest teacher to go against a kid with a quirk like Dark Shadow is just so funny to me. Basically said let’s make it as Goth as possible

Episode 35: Yaoyorozu: Rising

•Ectoplasm’s quirk looks like it’s literally eats Tsuyu and Yami. Everyone watching TRAUMATIZED. But they still fucking DID IT

•Also LOVE DARK SHADOW I wish he talked more

•Ojirou on Iida’s back “I can only imagine how stupid we look right now” no Ojirou you look adorable. Also just fucking LAUNCH THE TAIL MAN but hey it worked

•”Spikes? What are you trying to be some kind of ninja” yes he is Shouto why do you think he’s an underground villain HES LITERALLY DOING A NARUTO RUN AS WE SPEAK

•my girl Momo showing us what she’s made of

•Aizawa is proud of two smart little shits

•Todo is an awkward gentleman. Something he DIDNT get from his father

•Momo starts crying and covers her mouth. Todoroki:”what’s wrong? Do you feel sick? If you’re feeling nauseous we can call recovery girl” a. GENTLEMEN. He drinks his good boi and respect women juice daily

Episode 36: Stripping The Varnish

•Aoyama. Bruh. Why are you like this lmao

•Nezu is a fucking MANIAC BEAST WHAT THE FUCK we need more Mouse Hero

• “times like this he gets his vengeance” THEYRE KIDS RECOVERY GIRL

•Mic why is your face like that jfc

•KODA IS SO FUCKING PRECIOUS WHY DONT WE GET MORE OF HIM???

•”YOU CAN TALK???” It’s been like a good couple of months right? He just hasn’t talked the whole time? Honestly, respect. KODA IS AMAZING

•the fact that Hagakure just gets fucking naked so she can be completely invisible is hilarious

•”MisteR SNIPE YOU PERVERT”

”I COULDNT SEE YOU IM SORRY” poor Snipe lmao

•WHY IS MINETA TRYING TO BE A HERO WHEN ALL HE DOES IS CRY AND RUN AWAY (WHY IS HE CRYING BLOOD???)

•Lmao Sero you didn’t stand a chance sweetheart

•Oooooh so that’s Midnight’s quirk. Okay makes. A little sense I guess. But fuck I love her

•Ah. That’s why he wants to be a hero. He’s creepy and pervy but fuck that was actually a good plan

Episode 37: Katsuki Bakugou: Origin

•IT’s OUR FAVORITE ANGRY BOI. Please Katsuki. I’m begging. Take ALL the chill pills. Just once

•”Why does he always have to make things so difficult” you’ve known him literally all your life you know why. It’s because he’s an asshole

•Midoriya: PLEASE stop yelling

Bakugou: feral yelling continues

•Bakugou why are you like this

•All Might killed a child wow

•Bakugou 110% deserved that punch, good on you Midoriya

•he didn’t directly blow him up that time at least that’s a tiny bit of progress

•”Ah. They got me” All Might is so cute

•”They’re actually pretty smart. They just lose all sense when it comes to each other...They have so many complicated emotions when it comes to the other they don’t even know how to interact anymore” I don’t ship it but that’s pretty fucking gay

•”Your teachers going to do his best to school you” ALL MIGHT SNAPPED

•KB: ”When he shows up it’s my turn to blast him”

AM: “Say that to my face you Limp Noodle”

•Nice teaching just beat one student WITH another one nice All Might

•All Might literally broke Deku’s back what the fuck

•”It’s time to sleep. Goodnight Young Bakugou” ALL MIGHT YOURE KILLING HIM BRUH

•Lmao the angry Pomeranian fucking bit him I’m crying

•THATS MY MESSED UP BOIS

•Recovery Girl is just like All Might if you don’t lighten the fuck up I’ll beat your ass they are CHILDREN and she’s right

•OFFICIAL DABI AND TOGA INTRO IM SO FUCKING PUMPED DABIDABIDABI

Episode 38: Encounter

•”right now I go by Dabi”

“No I want to know your REAL name”

“I’ll tell you when you need to know” IT’S TOUYA TODOROKI THANK YOU VERY MUCH TOUYA CALL YOUR MOTHER

•Shiggy, Dabi, and Toga LITERALLY all at each other’s throats:

Kurogiri: Mom Mode Activated

•”DONT YOU GET IT MIDORIYA OR DID ALL MIGHT KNOCK ALL THE BRAINS OUT OF YOU” DENKI WHY DID YOU HAVE TO ATTACK MIDORIYA LIKE THAT HE WAS JUST TRYING TO HELP

•Aizawa and his logical deception is Class 1A’s Cry Wolf

•Kiri immediately went to Bakugou and was like you’re coming shopping with us right, right? Kiri your pining is killing me you’re not subtle honey but I love it

•”you’re going to scare the children” says the guy with the demon shadow bird that flies out of his chest Tokoyami I love you

•JIROU AND MOMO I love two lesbians

•Kiri the man in charge love my boy

•”GOTTA KEEP THOSE PEST AWAY”

“DO YOU MEAN ME???” Lmao poor Midoriya

•Shiggy you’re so fucking CREEPY

•Finally see Shiggy’s whole face. THIS IS YOUR MANS YALL??? BRUHHH

•Poor Mido he can never catch a break

•Shiggy this just looks like really gross PDA you crusty creep

•”I can’t just run away every time I get flustered” yes you can Uraraka, that’s what I do, live your dream girl, run away from boys

•Wow they actually went to the police their first smart move

•ALL MIGHT IS IZUKU’S ADOPTIVE DAD I LOVE HIM SO MUCH HE WAS SO WORRIED ABOUT HIS BOY YOU COULD TELL

•”there’s a good chance that he or another student could be targeted” ForEShAdOwInG

And that concludes Season 2! Season 3 time baby!! God I need a life outside of this

[minblush]

k-armys are spreading a tweet namjoon made in 2013 about korean independence where he says 'There is no future for people who have forgotten history' which shows he probably won't agree with working with a japanese imperialist, hopefully he still has this attitude in 2018 twitter(.)com/BTS_twt/status/367906282012831744

yeah i have seen them doing that ;; and fancafe and all the official tweets since then have been flooded with people talking about these things too, but bighit is playing dead fish so far :(

microwavehater said:Am i the only one who never believed that bts has ~creative freedom~ (anymore) ? If they (still) had, they’d use their influence to spread msgs like baepsae, not just love urself uwu (considering yoongi made political pre-debut releases &interview stuff) Also, their newer releases (LY her onwards) are v much lacking in the hiphop department which (i assume) was a marketing choice. Hiphop just doesn’t sell as well to a female audience (along w the fact that vocalists are the face of BTS).

i think they still have creative input but creative freedom definitely not, but it’s debatable if they ever had it anyway? idk.. and them moving on from hip-hop was definitely both trying to change things up as well as appeal to a broader audience, love yourself era overall was an attempt to basically touch as many people as possible, i don’t mind them changing their musical direction but what has bothered me was the loss of their involvement (because it is less)

Anonymous said:I totally agree with you about BTS losing their originality. I’m almost starting to get annoyed of them. Now bc they know people love their music for its topics such as mental health, etc I almost feel like they’re thinking that they’re obliged to constantly write music that only has a “social” message. I did not like Idol at all. It was pretty tacky and the idea of loving yourself seemed so forced in the lyrics. I want them to make songs about whatever they want at that moment. (1/?)

Anonymous said:Also every fan keeps saying the same thing about them being unfiltered when actually they’ve become SO filtered now. They’ve almost created this illusion of being super open with us when actually we barely know anything about them. I don’t mind that but I hate how they’re touting that as something that applies to them. Honestly most fans now are the bandwagon type and the fandom is starting to feel more like a cult versus a community like it used to. (2/2)

i don’t know if i ever talked about them losing their originality? because originality is debatable in this case too, if you mean their original intention then yes i agree with that, and i agree they definitely created the illusion, once i got out of the bts bubble a bit and also thought back to the old days, i realized how closed off and filtered everything is comparison to the past and even to other kpop groups nowadays that are way more direct, i feel like even exo is more outspoken these days and direct with their fans which i thought could never happen??? i used to stan them and it was hell hah.. and these days.. wowza..

Anonymous said:Fuck yesss we need new yoongi mixtape and i agree abt what you said i wish bts could read that and be like okay guys i think they are right we have done some questionable things and shit has to be addressed whether we like it or not and just fucking do so. Some fans will drop but some would drop anyway bc it is getting out of hand i would never want to call bts problematic bc shit i cannot imagine that being true but them supporting problematic people is kind of making them ones

i just feel like nothing will change because bang pd is too greedy.. he really is eyeing like building a global empire with all the business deals he has been making.. also bts have done plenty “problematic” things themselves, though not to that extent, but some of their actions have hurt a lot of people too, but it depends on what bothers you, i find colorism and things like that a problem, but ofc definitely different thing than pedophilia and such, i just meant to say that nobody is perfect

Anonymous said:Do you ever just wanna randomly bump into bts and be like “hey lets talk!” And then tell them about all these issues and fandom drama and just tell them to wake the hell up? Cos I do haha

well even if we bumped into them, most of them wouldn’t talk to you so dkajsdka

Anonymous said:i agree with everything you have said but what bothers me is he is a co produce of produce 48 and nobody really complained about it even though he is know for sexualizing minors... or did i miss something?? also i feel sorry for you getting hate you were just saying your opinion and people should start to accept some facts! it's not the first time bighit did something questionable ://

oh but actually when that was announced there was backlash? i remember seeing complaints about the producer as well as some of the trainees due to their supposed right wing associations, there were also complaints about women’s rights cause of the oversexualization of some of the girls back in japan and the producer’s lyrics, i think this backlash seems bigger or more visible to you because it’s happening in your fandom ;; that season of produce even ended up having the lowest rankings and voting participation so :/

Anonymous said:I have three words to describe the part of the fandom that blindly accepts all the things, even the problematic ones, BTS do. 'Situationally woke cult'.

that fits perfectly

Anonymous said:i rly appreciate sou voicing your thoughts even if they r not in essay form or refined for days. I agree with you on many things but at the same time it's not as disappointing to me bc I guess I never held them to high standards. like in the beginning I could kinda imagine that they were somewhat sincere (but still remained sceptical) but the more they got famous the more I accepted that that sincerity and authenticity would stop bc that's just the kind of business that kpop is... (♤)

Anonymous said:like it's an inherently dishonest industry. they sell an image just like everyone else, and at best(!!) they were as real as possible with us in the beginning. no doubt they wanted to be different from everyone else and it was easier as long as not that many people gave a fuck about them. but as soon as they started to this chance was over. so i guess what I'm saying is that my view didn't change and I'm not surprised, because I never really bought what they were trying to sell...(♤)

Anonymous said:I still love them, theyre likeable & adorable boys. but theyre not changing the world. they're not in the right kind of industry for that. they love their luxury expensive stuff & the glamour of it all & that's okay. I just take every concept the whip out w/ a grain of salt & a knowing smile & enjoy the entertainment. that's just my own two cents that nobody in the fandom wants to hear so I'm bothering u. & its not an analysis or anything just what is on top of my mind while watching TV lol (♤)

Anonymous said:(♤) oh ps. except for that whole controversial stuff with that misogynist jpn songwriter and supreme boy and what not. I take that seriously , I wont act as if that's just a cute quirk. but they're men so I didn't expect much lmaoo. I knew that those kind of disappointments are just part of the deal ever since I learned that jimin (a whole cutie pie and my ultimate bias) stans chris brown. definitely would kick jm in the shin for that if I ever got to meet him. at least keep it to yourself lol.

haha i wish you didn’t start this with a backhanded compliment but dkajsd yeah overall i see your point and agree... i understand like if you didn’t buy into that whole spiel, then of course you can just keep on going and stanning them as idols and all that comes with that, but many people and me included sincerely thought that they were different, i have stopped stanning kpop groups for a while and got drawn back in with bts because i felt they were so fresh and unique, genuine and open with fans in comparison to other groups i have stanned.. but ofc that image crumbled as time went on.. things have changed as well... and i agree, it’s fine to enjoy it for just the entertainment and like the boys as people, accepting they are just as any other idol.. and maybe i will continue with that perspective myself!! but i honestly find it difficult having believed in it and also bighit continually selling this image to their fans despite evidence of the contrary, i can deal with idol business but like continually being blatantly lied to and then being in a fandom where most of the rhetoric is build around blindly believing it and eating anything the boys and bighit sells? it’s honestly emotionally exhausting sometimes.. but yeah.. you’re honestly right.. even with the last point lol... they are men, and korean men at that sigh.. that’s why i’m burying myself in girl groups nowadays adkjsd to heal my soul

Anonymous said:Hope you have a wonderful day filled with only good things ❤ - the cutest person in the world

thank you so so so so much! you have a wonderful day too ♥ cutie

Anonymous said:simple question, not loaded at all, no wrong answer, the honest answer is the right answer- yaddah yaddah you get it -what do you think bangtan is lying about and what exactly are you saying overall? i just need the language simplified for my 3 braincells :) if i do get what you're saying - whether the actual members of bts are real or not, their message is. "dont let anyone tell you what to do" "live your own life and not a borrowed dream" "life is a marathon, not a race - go your own pace"etc

you can read this post as well as the tags to it to see some of the examples, i mean i have been saying lots of things so i don’t know what exactly you want me to clarify? i think their message is compromised when their actions contradict it, whether it’s their actions or bighit’s is up to debate, like i was talking about in the post though, you can’t have things both ways, can’t hail the boys as woke independent kings while propagating the idea that they are just the company’s pawns at the same time, if you accept their authenticity isn’t there then ofc it’s a different argument, and the things you have listed there may be true, but isn’t is soured knowing they are just things that are said in order to sell bangtan as a product to you? to me they are

Anonymous said:I'm not gonna disagree but I like to see all the sides of a story. Bang pd is their boss, bts made a contract with him, he will ALWAYS have the last word on, well, everything they put out. We like to think that bc bts has creative freedom they can do whatever they want, well obviously they can't. Even if bts wanted to talk more about issues and not work w bad ppl, bang pd wants them to succeed, he wants to make money bc it's his business and bts is the only thing bringing money to it.

i get this argument a lot and to that i will answer again this and this, i don’t understand what your point is exactly though, so you are saying bts are pawns that have to do as they ceo says, yes and? i am criticizing the decision he has made? i’m criticizing that what he cares about the most is money? that he will stop at nothing to widen his wealth and influence? i will not support bts cooperating with vile people just because it wasn’t -completely their decision-, i’m sorry i’m really struggling to see what your point is about the other side of the story, it’s a shitty situation and if they all go through with it, it be greatly disappointing

[girlhorse]

im in the mood for an abemiha meta so im going to talk about the language use in oofuri! and by language use i mean the use of the word “like” (suki/好き/スキ)

im putting it under the cut since i gotta include some images. beware of minor manga spoilers! really, really minor though lol

first i’m going to provide an explanation of terms and stuff, and their connotations (info is from jisho.org and wordreference. i am still just a beginner in japanese but i am fairly confident in these explanations!)

a lot of you may know this but japanese has three systems of writing, which is going to be very important for my discussion! these are broken down into hiragana and katakana (referred to together as “kana”, symbols are syllabic) and kanji (written characters that represent a word/phrase) you can express japanese in writing in kana alone, but its way more common to use kanji along with kana in writing. this will be really important to my discussion, as i will be highlighting the distinction between katakana usage and kanji usage of the word “suki” 

suki, written “好き” in kanji and “スキ” in katakana, is defined as: “liking; fondness; love” which can be a little confusing - the distinction between “liking” something and “loving” something isn’t quite available, so that typically necessitates context. but with written language, especially in a language with three entirely different writing systems, i think it is safe to say there are other ways of constructing that distinction.

(i can hear a distant “but gabby what about DAISUKI!!! isn’t that MORE about love?” yes and no! ive addressed this in an earlier post but in general the word “suki” is considered to be more serious and romantic, while “daisuki” is a bit more.. uh.. “extra” and frivolous)

so why would an author choose to use kana (in this particular case katakana) in place of kanji?

the kanji is difficult/obscure (gonna just say that “好” doesnt seem particularly difficult at all - it is taught in grade 4)

the author wants to stress sound of the word/emphasize the word (this is important for my interests lol)

a stylistic choice

(i picked up this info a bit from japanese language forums & from translating stuff so it might not be completely accurate but! i think this sums it up)

now that that is out of the way im going to make my bold ass claim! that in the text of oofuri (or just in mihashi speak), スキ is love, and 好き is like! i will now try to show u how i came to this very very bold conclusion:

the first instance we see of “suki” being used in the manga is when abe tells mihashi he likes him as a pitcher (bottem left bubble is “i like it”) 

which is followed up by this panel:

in sequential panels, we have two different spellings of “suki”. it is made clear from the very first chapter in the manga, that (esp for mihashi) that kana “suki” and kanji “suki” have different, important implications. it seems here that mihashi is bewildered that abe would say anything like “like” to him, and writing suki as スキ only drives this home further, almost as if “like” was in bold or italicized

now this is just the first instance and only proves that katakana can be used as a tool to emphasize something, or that maybe mihashi doesn’t know the kanji for suki, or that this is how “suki” is translated to mihashi speak - but it can also set us up to look out for this distinction in the future. I’ll get to the confession scene last my dudes just hold on a minute lol 

now the “this is the mihashi version of suki” theory could work if not for the fact that we have at least 2 instances of mihashi using 好き:

the first when he says he likes the big carrot chunks in the curry: 

and again when he asks abe if he likes catching (i’ll say more on this in a bit):

so if mihashi didnt just learn 好き (its fair to say he always knew since hes not like illiterate dgfdg) then in this instance, “suki” doesn’t have any particular emphasis -- ie mihashi is saying “like” here

setting aside mihashis fondness for carrots is the question he asks abe which is “you like being a catcher, huh?” to which abe emphatically replies: 

this is followed by mihashis conclusion, where we see the shift back to スキ:

“i see. i like pitching. and abe likes catching”  (mihashi uses スキ elsewhere when he talks about his feelings towards pitching; we can pretty much assume that he loves it. thats like his whole character) mihashi wasnt sure how much abe liked catching, and after hearing abe’s response, shifts 好き to スキ. it is subtle, but it means a lot! abe likes/loves catching as much as mihashi likes/loves pitching! there wasnt really a need for clarification on the reader’s part here - we can get what abe is saying right away, but mihashi must confirm it for himself and re-confirm to the reader that “スキ” has a special meaning in this manga/to mihashi

moving on!!!!!! just to solidify, i want to show a couple more instances where スキ shows up:

here, in the word for crush: (the word crush is lit. “person you like” - interestingly, while “person”(人) is in kanji, “suki” is written in katakana)

ofc this could just be because this is handwritten, and it is easier to read handwritten kana, so perhaps it is this way for clarity (人 has 2 strokes so its not an issue, but 好 has 6 so its just a bit more complicated) BUT higuchi. (unfortunately for amateurs like me who try to translate her work) really is not opposed to handwriting more complicated kanji in her manga. i also haven’t looked hard enough but perhaps there is an instance where 好き is handwritten. dont know though!

and here, unrelated to abe and mihashi, when suzune is telling her boyfriend  ookawa that she loves him (its blue cuz its an omake on the cover thats just how it is)

again, it is handwritten, but also this scene seems to rely on the emphasis provided by the katakana

and now. drumroll. im finally focking ready to talk about the confessoin scene! i have talked about how it can be read as a “confession” in this post, but i think it is definitely worth bringing up again bc it is my focking point!

maybe u already guessed (or read my other post) but when abe and mihashi tell each other they like each other it is with スキ:

am i trying to imply theyre in love already? yes and no! i think that スキ here is meant to draw our eyes to the word so we remember it well, or maybe give us a hint of what’s to come in the story (like a real confession scene between them) the two of them are very naive and dont know each other well in the beginning, but it is clear higuchi wants us to pay attention to this word and ask ourselves why it might be written in this way, and how this writing can kind of make the meaning of “suki” ambiguous 

(as an aside id like to note how in the panels above, the phrase “i like you” is isolated from the rest of the sentence. as u probably know abe’s full phrase is “not just as a pitcher, i like you as a person, too!” bc of the way japanese grammar works, though, abe’s “i like you” clause out of context can work as its own sentence; and higuchi chose to give it its own bubble. mihashis “i like you” is even isolated from his “me too!” which i think is interesting. mihashis flashback later in the manga to abe’s “i like you” is segmented in exactly the same way)

also in this scene is where mihashi says he loves being a pitcher w/ スキ:

so if we add the layer that this scene is from mihashis perspective he may very well be meaning “love” in this scene, and may have even interpreted abe’s words in that way (again at the beginning we already see mihashi interpreting abe’s 好き as スキ, so perhaps he is doing it again - though it is left unclear on purpose)

make of this what you will - i could be just picking up on unimportant things. after all, “suki” absolutely isn’t the only word that is emphasized/ kana in the manga, so perhaps this is just a coincidence. but i think it is pretty significant that it is fairly consistent of a distinction in the manga, for such a loaded word, and i honestly suspect this isn’t going to be the last we see of it.

[comicteaparty]

February 18th-February 24th, 2019 CTP Archive

The archive for the Comic Tea Party week long chat that occurred from February 18th, 2019 to February 24th, 2019.  The chat focused on Patchwork and Lace by Sooz.

Featured Comment:

Chat:

RebelVampire

COMIC TEA PARTY- WEEK LONG BOOK CLUB START!

Hello and welcome everyone to Comic Tea Party’s Week Long Book Club~! This week we’ll be focusing on Patchwork and Lace by Sooz~! (http://www.patchworkandlace.com/)

You are free to read and comment about the comic all week at your own pace, so stop on by whenever it suits your schedule! Remember, though, that while we allow constructive criticism, our focus is to have fun and appreciate the comic. Below you will find four questions to get you started on the discussion. However, a new question will be posted and pinned everyday (between 12:01AM and 6AM PST), so keep checking back for more! You have until February 24th to tell us all your wonderful thoughts! With that established, let’s get going on the reading and the chatting!

QUESTION 1. What has been your favorite scene in the comic so far? What specifically did you like about it?

QUESTION 2. At the moment, who is your favorite character? What about that character earns them this favor?

QUESTION 3. What has been your favorite moment between Sheol and Lilika? What about their relationship dynamic stood out to you? Ultimately, do you believe the two will wind up together romantically, or will the past keep them apart?

QUESTION 4. In regards to Sheol’s PTSD, what moment most stood out to you? Do you believe Sheol will be able to heal, and if so, what will it take? How might Sheol’s continued suffering affect the story or her relationship with Lilika further?

Delphina

I really like the scene with both Sheol and Lilika's flashbacks happening simultaneously. Something like that could have been very confusing, but it was laid out really well with the chain going down the middle. http://www.patchworkandlace.com/?p=451

Lilika's probably my favorite of the two main characters. She's sort of like this adorable dark demon-summoning cultist Card Captor Sakura. Darray is pretty new, but he also cracks me up.

Delphina

Lilika and Sheol's dynamic is interesting and falls a lot on hurt/comfort patterns. The kiss (http://www.patchworkandlace.com/?p=533) was satisfying, both as shipper kerosene and also because it was one of the few times that Sheol expressed something she wanted instead of just protecting Lilika or doing her duties. Even if it's not romantic, I hope there's more situations like that in Sheol's future where she discovers who she is and what she wants in (un)life, but I suspect that there's still going to be a lot of secrets she'll keep from Lilika before she really gets to a place of balance and peace. I suspect Lilika and Sheol will end up together, but only once Sheol is able to let go of the pain in her past and stop protecting Lilika from her secrets.

€heshire777

Sheol looks a lot like Unity from skin horse.

Stefan G

1) There are so many beautiful scenes, but my favourite one so far was this one ... I think the interaction/dynamic between the characters works really well/naturally and the ending made me chuckle. I enjoy humor like that

RebelVampire

QUESTION 5. Who or what do you think Lilika is a vessel for? Why was Lilika specifically chosen for the role and why do you think they can’t just find a replacement?

RebelVampire

@Stefan G For future record, it's better to link the page by URL rather than post a screenshot. Many creators don't like screenshots of their work taken, and images also aren't included in the archive either. Thus, to readers to the archive, your comment would actually have no context.

Stefan G

Roger that

...this is so difficult

Delphina

It definitely seemed like Lilika was special and advanced in magic for her age. I'm just curious all around about the organization (cult?) she grew up in and what their motives are. It definitely appears that whatever they originally wanted for Lilika, she's a free agent now who's doing pretty much whatever she wants, so I would assume she got too powerful for them to control and ran away. So if they don't even have anybody on her power level because she's over 9000, it makes sense that they want to get her back.

RebelVampire

QUESTION 6. How exactly do you interpret Sheol’s past so far as it’s been shown? Who do you think her former master was? In the end, how do you think Sheol came to be on her own and will her former master come looking for her?

RebelVampire

1) i really liked the most recent scene where sheol is talking about leaving lilika while you can hear lilika just teaching the kiddo in the bg. before i felt their relationship was just kind of set in stone (romantic or not) in terms of them staying together. but this scene...this scene added doubt. now theyre not just star crossed lovers, but actually have to work at the relationship, whatever their relationship is meant to become. and i really like when stories add a complicated aspect like that, because relationships are work whether theyre friendships or something else. 2) Lilika. I just like this dynamic of Lilika being cutesy but summoning the most horrific looking creatures. Yet, even if the creatures are weird looking, she shows them a lot of kindness in a way. I also like shes more of a hiding her cards type of character. While I like Sheol, her emotional issues are pretty in your face so you can basically see her deck of cards. Lilika though? I don't know how she might be hurt or traumatized and I like that a bit more. Adds more mystery to solve. 3) I liked the scene where Lilika is offering understanding and comfort to Sheol being out of sorts. Just...it was such a positive interaction and really showed the depth of Lilika's care for Sheol beyond just having a bunch of shirts handy. I like in general how the two of them are somewhat opposite in personalities and yet have this subtle way of getting along and showing their care. As for the ship, I'm gonna be optimistic and say yes. And assume they won't go up in flames.

varethane

that answer to 2 is really interesting, because in that respect they're both kinda opposite to the usual tropes that tend to apply (the stoic/stern type vs the bubbly, upbeat type)

you'd expect that Lilika would wear her emotions and background on her sleeve while Sheol would keep everything close to the chest, but it's the reverse, haha

Delphina

Yeah, to get a bit meta about it, the webcomic title is a pretty obvious reference to the two main characters, so I think they gotta stay together.

varethane

I hadn't thought of it that way til I saw your reponse though

RebelVampire

4) The moment where Lilika asks if Sheol is good but Sheol was like, "no but ill manage." That was such a sad slap in the face but so true to trauma. Cause sadly life doesnt care if you are traumatized. Sometimes you have to go live life and just manage. And I liked seeing that in the story cause it made the trauma more relateable to me. As for healing? yes, but years and years and years and years from the current time. For now though, I think Sheol's trauma is actually gonna get in the way and stop her from helping Lilika when Lilika most needs her. Then drama and conflict ensues. 5) Probably this comic's version of cthulu. As for why specifically Lilika, like Delphina I assume magical talent. But I'm skeptical at the time cause if all it took was magical talent, they wouldnt need to chase her down. Just get a new student. So I feel there must be super special about Lilika's talent. Like she has some sort of connection even better students don't have. 6) I assume her master was some lord scientist who just felt like playing god. And that he was using Sheol to both prove his awesome and gather some sort of resource. Hence the whole targets thing. I personally think that Sheol just ran away cause she found some body part had murdered a shiz ton of people and could no longer live with herself of the selves she was made of. It sounded like he was alive, so I do think her former master is gonna come looking for her? Or someone close to him. I mean not everyday you hear about living flesh dolls, so someone is bound to be interested.

huh, you make a good point @varethane . actually had not considered that their types are different from the expected trope

Delphina

On the topic of Sheol's past, it looks like Zerymos assembled her. Nell and Lilika's cult seem to know of him from the recent pages, so I assume the dude is either a cult-adjacent individual practitioner or split off to do his own thing. From the flashbacks, Zerymos pretty much made Sheol go out and murder specific people on the regular. (From this scene http://www.patchworkandlace.com/?p=452 and the one that I can't find where the person recognized her mouth and wanted to "kiss their daughter" one last time - (Really wish this comic had an archive page...)) I first suspected Zerymos wanted corpses for more experiments, but in the first scene, she's not carrying the body back, so maybe he's a leader who just wanted to freak people out and flex his power over them? He certainly didn't seem to be worried about Sheol using discretion since she just walks into a crowded group of screaming people and chokes 'em. If she's been that overt and people have heard of her, then it definitely makes sense that she wants to cover up as many scars as she can, but I've also been curious why she's only covering the mouth because you can still see the stitchwork down the middle?

varethane

she's still gotta see lol

that's why the broad-brimmed hat I guess, it puts shade on the area she can't help but keep exposed (unless she invests in something like this )

Delphina

Maybe the big hat helps, but yeah, I'd get me a ski mask or veil or something if I'd been that murdery.

snuffysam

she could go all invisible man-style with bandages and a pair of sunglasses

and yeah if Zerymos wanted stealthy kills, he probably wouldn't have made her walk around naked

RebelVampire

QUESTION 7. Do you believe that Nell will succeed and capture Lilika? If so, what will happen to Lilika? What will Sheol do? If not, how will Lilika and Sheol manage to avoid capture? How will it affect their future plans?

RebelVampire

7) Nah. I honestly think Nell is going to vastly overestimate her skills and vastly underestimate Lilika. It's also 2 v 1 right now since her partner was sent off, so nell probably isnt gonna have a good time. Sheol, assuming she's present, will over course protect Lilika. Although this begs the question of how much of Lilika's past does Sheol know? I mean of course she knows of Lilika's demony magic stuff, but did Lilika mention anything else? cause if not, that's the point i feel Sheol is gonna go wtf and want answers. but yeah i think after all is said and done, theyre gonna skip town for a while together.

Delphina

Well, it seems like Nell is going to be forced into seducing Lilika away for reasons I don't quite understand (http://www.patchworkandlace.com/?p=589). So I suspect it's not going to be a physical fight (which I agree, Lilika and Sheol have the advantage with, especially if Lilika is irreplaceably powerful and Sheol has no visible physical weaknesses) but a love-triangly-psychological sort of approach. Drive doubts in both of their heads about whether they really love/trust each other so they're easier to manipulate.

varethane

I don't think Nell is likely to overestimate herself, lol. She admits right off the bat that she's not good at that sort of thing

RebelVampire

hey, someone can say theyre not good at something and still be far off the mark at how not good they are

XD

RebelVampire

(the archive for the chat on Sombulus is up now! https://comicteaparty.com/post/182974467985/february-11th-february-17th-2019-ctp-archive @Delphina )

RebelVampire

QUESTION 8. What exactly do you think happened with the Way of the Bright Waters that has Sheol so interested? Is it something Sheol herself was involved in, or something from one of her memories that isn’t hers? Will she actually learn information about it?

RebelVampire

8) well we know there was a murder thing, but somehow the way sheol worded it makes me think she wasnt entirely responsible or something? which that to mean means two likely scenarios. either its the fault of one of her body parts or someone whose life force or whatever she stole and she feels she needs to take responsibility. or sheol might have like a detachment complex. kind of like how some media portrays assassins as guilt free cause they consider themselves like the sword or gun and it was the person who ordered them to kill's doing. so sheol might have some of that going on. not sure. what i am sure of is id hate to be in sheol's head cause if any of this is true it sounds like an identity hellscape

RebelVampire

QUESTION 9. Do you think Sheol will indeed leave Lilika to pursue her own goals? Is she right that Lilika doesn’t actually need her, or do you believe Lilika has her own trauma regarding her past history that Sheol helps with?

€heshire777

No, or at least not until endgame.

It's a possibility that she will leave and be pursued.

Delphina

Yeah, I think if they do get separated (either because Nell succeeds in finding away to get in Lilika's head or just flat out kidnap her), it won't be permanent because they'll want to be with each other. Lilika hasn't really given much indication that she's having trouble with stuff from her past IMO, but y'know, growing up in a cult has gotta do something to a person in general. I think they're both going to realize eventually that they're happiest together and do whatever they can to stick to each other and continue their life of adventuring together.

snuffysam

I think Sheol doesn't realize how much Lilika likes her. Like she considers herself to be a burden or something.

Delphina

True, I think it's safe to say that the part of Sheol that thinks people like and accept her is severely underutilized.

She also may be worried about snapping and going out of control and hurting Lilika

RebelVampire

QUESTION 10. What are you most looking forward to in the comic? Also, do you have any final thoughts to share overall?

RebelVampire

i second. i def think sheol just has a large disconnect with how much lilika likes her. evend espite the kiss. almost like she thinks its all just some game to lilika and that eventually lilika will get bored. 9) the above being said, i think sheol is going to try at some point or another. i kind of get this impression sheol just thinks lilika is the this strong, carefree person who would be completely fine on her own and doesnt really even think too hard about all the times sheol has had to save her. and i think sheol needs to make the attempt to break this image. but will it be permanent? nah. i believe in them to realize theyre happier together. or be practical and realize safety in numbers. 10) im looking forward to learning more about lilika's magic and seeing what else the full scope of her capabilities are. like, what other creepy monstrosities can she summon. XD mostly just cause thats my favorite aspect right now.

Delphina

I'm looking forward to learning more about Lilika's past and both of them growing as characters. It's hard to say what Lilika might be dealing with beyond conjecture, so I hope more is explained about why she's so cavalier if that's indeed a defense mechanism. Sheol is clearly dealing with a lot and I'd love to see her develop more healthy attitudes toward self-care and growing and healing from her pain. While I suspect a lot of that is going to involve Lilika's affection and that's okay, romantic relationships don't and can't heal everything, so I hope some of it is also just self-reflection.

snuffysam

Oh this is extremely last minute, but - more sappy romance! can't get enough of it!

RebelVampire

COMIC TEA PARTY- WEEK LONG BOOK CLUB END!

Thank you everyone so much for reading and chatting about Patchwork and Lace this week! Please also give a special thank you to Sooz for volunteering the comic and creating it! If you liked Patchwork and Lace, make sure to continue to support it via some of the links below!

Read and Comment: http://www.patchworkandlace.com/

Sooz’s Twitter: https://twitter.com/itsasooz

[wdfa]

coming back from winter break like HELLO NAUGHTY CHILDREN ITS RELAPSE TIME

warning for... um. lots of stuff. a loooot of self hate/negative self talk. internalized transphobia/cissexism. discussions of sexual experiences (not in detail). menstruation mention. depression and symptoms.

im struggling so hard rn ugh so many Symptoms.. especially with feelings of worthlessness!!!!!!! like i just feel like im annoying ppl with just my existence!!!! UGH like i know it’s irrational bc so many ppl love and care about me and they have voiced these facts as well as affirmed them through actions! and they continue to do so! it kinda has a lot to do with my dysphoria? im not sure how to like. explain it??? because there is Context.

last saturday my frat had a brothers-only party and it was fun and cute and i had Such a Good Time because i love my brothers! some alumni came too like i got to see my grandbig again and my 2 adopted grandbigs LMAO... one is dating my gbig so she’s step-gbig i guess not adopted? but the other one is in my family line, and he has 2 “real” grandlittles but he adopted me and one of my fifth (?) cousins. ANYWAYS it was really tender because that literally happened that night, he said “as far as im concerned, i have 4 grandlittles... plates, kali, billy, and u” and im not kidding i almost cried it touched my salty ass heart. and that was pretty much the theme of the night, just me loving on everyone and everyone loving on me! 

i was kind of worried about that tbh because i was wearing one of those douchey ridiculously large arm-hole tshirts and my scars were pretty visible,,,, but like everyone was really cool about them like i got some compliments actually haha mostly they were just like “aw im so happy for u/proud of u” but one of my older bros (who happens to also be a bass!!) said smth like “yo those are really cool thats so hardcore!” which pleasantly surprised me because he’s a very aloof and sarcastic kind of person, so getting something genuine was really neat. and so much good happened that night!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! it was great!!!!!!!!!! but also like. ugh. i guess more context needed. 

in my pledge class of 7 only 2 of us were virgins and im one of them. like ive literally never had any Sexual experience, and it was always because i was never comfortable enough with my own body due to dysphoria. even when u get past that my high school was fucking tiny so who was going to love my fat trans ass 8^) and my pbro’s situation was a little different, but he’s gay and his high school was similar so he never had the option to explore anything either. and we were like. together on that u know? i had kind of accepted that it wasnt realistic for me to want things like that, and while that realization hurt, i knew that i had someone in the same boat. but then he goes and loses his virginity!!!!! and this is where i get MESSY LMAO IM NOT READY FOR THIS BUT HERE GOES

first of all i want to say that i am 100% happy for him because he’s my friend i will support him until the end of time and he told us it was important for him finally being able to celebrate himself and grow up and operate with sexual/personal autonomy and live his own DAMN LIFE and im so so SO proud of him for that!! and i HATE myself so FUCKING MUCH for being selfish and feeling this way and taking something so important to someone i love and making it about myself, but. now its like im left behind. i hate this feeling so fucking much i hate being left behind/forgotten about/ignored/excluded from anything and everything. and now this is something that everyone has gone through but me. and it fucking sucks even more because i know the main reason that i havent done this is because im trans!!!! like i didnt ask to be this way!!!!!!!! trust me! its so fucking difficult!!!!!!!! i hate being different sometimes, i literally just want to be like everyone else, i want to be fucking normal for once. like i know that ‘normal’ doesn’t actually exist but im tired of having to struggle through things that other people dont. and ive really just been dwelling on this and extrapolating like “welp no one will ever wanna hook up with me or date me or love me and im gonna die alone like the piece of shit i am” and it’s just opened up soooooo many Bad Feels that i either havent thought about before or did a really good job at repressing! literally just shitty Dysphoria garbage!!! 

and now its like. “ok well u dont want to be a virgin anymore then go out and have sex” WELP it doesnt really work that way!!! i’m very masculine in appearance (or at least i try to be) and the people who are attracted to me expect me to be a Cis Male, because unfortunately we assume everyone is cis until proven otherwise. bottom line is theyre gonna expect me to have a dick! but i dont! what happens when im into someone and theyre not aware of this fact? what if we Get Going and start Doing the Do but theyre like EW GROSS DIE??????? i just keep thinking about this!!!!!!!!! its in my head and i cant get it out!!!!!!!!!! like i Did Not go to bed on sunday night because i just keep dwelling!!!! i went to therapy on tuesday and told all this to my psychologist and usually that gets it out of my system but no!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! she’s usually really helpful because she approaches things logically rather than emotionally but that didnt work in this case i guess!!

i told my pbros about some of these feelings and they said the shit your friends are supposed to say to make u feel better and it was reassuring that they loved me at the time but like. i guess it didnt stick lol because im still convinced that im unlovable even though mccoy sat on my lap half the night and david let me casually touch him (he does not like physicality so that was kind of a Bigger deal) and ben laid on top of us and we were all so tender but i literally cant translate that into permanence i guess!!!!! but also bad things happened at meeting that kind of validated my fears bc me n a few bros were talking, i think it was me and a gay guy and a girl who thought she was straight but shes questioning if shes bi and i cant remember who else because i was Turnt but these two were like the main source of conversation. the guy was like “im definitely gay like i know i dont like girls because vaginas are just gross” and the girl was like “yeah i dont know, im attracted to hot girls but idk if i could ever fuck w/ a girl because ew vagina” LIKE im.... ... standing............ right .... here...................... and i said something! like “thats transphobic not everyone w a vagina is a girl” and i cant remember exactly but they totally like. brushed me off. i initially have all of these doubts, then my bros are like “yooo that’s irrational, everyone loves u” which makes me feel better and kind of makes the doubts get less awful BUT THEN this happens and we’re back to square one SO.

it doesnt help that i fucking started my period on monday. i havent had it in over a year. but i had to skip a dose of T before my surgery and my ADHD ass forgets everything so i ended up skipping like 3 so apparently this is what happens when you stop taking it :) im really hoping that this is the reason im so emo about everything right now UGH.

all of these feelings are just taking such a toll on me its like im weighed down,,, i was supposed to do some studying today and take some notes but instead i stayed in bed and played games on my phone lol!!!!!! i didnt even do anything fun!!!!!!!!!! and now im alone on a friday night doing NOTHING just like i did fucking NOTHING all day today!!

what sucks about this is that im alone because i feel sad.... but being alone makes me feel even MORE sad........... like im happy when im with my friends, im happy when im with my brothers, im happy when im at the house! but for some reason i cant just text a bro at random whenever im feeling down. like if i did, i know that no matter who it was theyd give me the support i need/the support id get at the house with everyone there. but i cant make that move, i cant take that risk, because i must Avoid.... like i know talking to ppl and being around them makes me happier, and i know if i did gather the ‘courage’ or w/e to do that then the odds of getting a positive response would be 99% but i just. Cannot initiate. because that 1% chance of rejection is just too much. im terrified of it. even if i did take that chance i dont even know what i’d say??? “hey lol im kinda craving death because im a worthless abomination haha wyd” ????? im still not comfortable w talking about being trans. like i am a bit but only with certain people. definitely not with the brotherhood. maybe my big? but she just got a new girlfriend so i dont want to bother her. honestly i dont want to bother anybody!!!!!!!!!! which is Wrong because i tell ppl all the time that their emotions are valid and theyre not bothering people who care but HERE WE FUCKING ARE KIDS!

ok i think im done now i just. really had to get that out. replies and likes and asks are welcome but the other thing is not allowed. the thing with two arrows that kind of go in a circle. none of that.

[isaacathom]

thooough kevlar is supposed to stop bullets, ya. so in theory, even if the Captain had managed to get the shot off, Esther could have still been reasonably fine. understandably shaken and probably bruised, but fine. of course that also depends on what GUN the Captain actually has? like ive basically been working off something thats not remotely automatic. no burst fire. basically a semi auto. a rifle would be ideal except that the scenario is is close quarters, making a rifle pretty fucking stupid, so it has to be some sort of handgun. raising the question Why does he have a handgun if the military is expected to be at range, and how did he get the scenario to let him get so close as to invalidate his rifle?

also he probably would actually have an auto of some kind, but for dramatic purposes id rather not? simply because then its far more difficult for him to be disarmed without basically killing Esther in the meantime. if its semi-auto, then in theory he can fire one shot that misses and then be disarmed before a second bullet can be fired. if he has an auto, you squeeze the trigger and youve already launched a small volley and even if Seora bends the goddamn world to stop it, at LEAST one would likely hit Esther, not to speak of the multitude more bullets that could then be fired between the initial trigger pull and the disarm from Seora. so for dramatic purposes he cannot have an automatic. like a full auto.

which then means the actual circumstances surrounding the shot have to be changed in order for him to even be capable of using his semi auto rifle with any confidence. which works fine, i suppose. maybe the reasoning behind the military having semi autos rather than full autos is because they’d likely want to be picking off combatants at range with a /degree/ of stealth. considering in general the combatants are Blue Mages that’d be pretty important. the moment they’re alerted, you basically can’t really get them as easily. immediate dirt wall, immediate scalding hot guns, etc. toasty. so like.... i guess like sniper rifles???? except theyre just.... regular rifles..... yknow actually that doesnt make a fuck ton of sense. hold on. uh.

actually, one important thing re: guns is that they were likely invented AFTER the schism and after any fighting between the two countries. so the guns would never have actually been used for their intended purpose, that being to shoot Dusk Maidens before they can use magic. So they are unlikely to have been field tested in the practical sense. plus theres the fact that metals are rare in the Light Kingdom, so they might have been limited in terms of just how much progression they could make on this front. so since there hasnt been open warfare since like 300 years ago, the military’s non-sword equipment is probably Pretty Ordinary. technologically behind the times relative to the rest, mostly due to the structure of the kingdom separating Maidens from crafts. unlike the Dark Kingdom, which likely has a stronger technological basis, with stronger and more advanced weaponry, armor, etc, especially if its derived from metallic substances. more “organic” substances would be the realm of the Light Kingdom. so its a bit complicated. so the light kingdom probably has these older style of guns because they decided, well, the guns dont matter TOO bad as long as theyve got decent range and dont break. we’ll focus our limited metallic resources onto things like phones and shit.

meanwhile the dark kingdom would have a far greater industry for weapons, with their Warrior Maidens being Fucking Kitted Out. the actual Dusk Maidens among them wouldnt have guns (no real need, tbh) but the few human members would, they’d all have decent armor. the onl downside is that this tech is the only thing the dark has OVER the light, because they still lack in more organic resources like GD food. they’ve got a few farms clear of darkness that are responsible for a majority of organic produce, a few people manage to scrape out tiny farms in their homes, some people have come up with the idea to dig up piles of tainted dirt and place them in pots to then be cleansed, allowing them to grow shit like tomatoes or carrots or smth. meats are rare because the only consistent sources of animals are mountain dwelling, and over hunting probably already forced a few species to extinction. fish is still available on their limited coastline (the light kingdom kept almost all of the coast following the civil war) but its not ideal by any stretch and they certainly dont have ENOUGH of it.

uh shit so i guess like.... the light kingdom have great tech in terms of software and such, while the dark kingdom has stronger “practical tech” like industrial shit. we got good cars, we got good infrastructure (except in some particularly bad joints), got good weapons, etc. niice.

ok so then. light kingdom has shit guns, probably timelocked to a specific era. potentially circa a time JUST before the civil war, as that would have allowed the proto-dusk maidens to help in their creation and lay down the groundwork for their blueprint to be slowly adapted by the light kingdom. so thats like..... uh...... can that be semi auto???? i suppose with the use of magic itd be fairly uncomplicated for the advancement of tech to be faster than our own. so if the story itself takes place around 2000, even though in our world the first semi auto wasnt until the 1880s, with magic being present its not unfeasible for them to have been successfully made ~300 years ago, so the 1700s (perhaps late? or maybe just 200, so 1800s still, but earlier than us). except then following this there was the civil war and the separation of the two countries, separating the light kingdom and their human-exclusive military to these semi auto rifles that they couldnt really improve without significant expense. so theyre probably timelocked to the early 1900s? maybe up to around the M1 Garand? which is still a solid weapon, but not like, a machine gun or anything. whereas the dark could easily have continued tech progression past this point up to present day, so they’d have shit like..... uh... whats a really modern gun. idk. get shit like AR15s and M14s at any rate, or even just the AK47 (i couldnt remember that for the life of me, wild). though again, considering the fact that the majority of the military possessed magic, the extreme advancement of guns was definitely not a priority for the people, so i dont need to get /super/ modern. jsut modern enough to where you could easily fuck up a guy with an M1 Garand which wouldnt be difficult, surely. maybe even a lil further cback from the M1, w/e, shit like that.

however the lack of general gun usage from the Dark, and the general understanding from the light that their military is exclusively magical in nature (which was true for quite a while) light military protection is PURELY against magical shit. a human Warrior Maiden with a gun could very easily kill any number of light military troops, because they simply arent prepared for be fired upon. which would be a fun revelation at the climax for the Captain, when his troop headed for the castle’s main room is under a hail of fire and many of them are easily killed because No Fucking Shit, lads. meanwhile the dark military is aware of the solely human military and very capable of understanding the guns they use. they’d only need to recover a SINGLE gun from the troops (likely during the first failed attempt to recover Seora) to work out exactly what sort of defences they’d need in order to fight the light side safely, ie how many layers of the Good Stuff. really, provided the dark are prepared (they sure are) they would easily, at this stage, win a war. the only way to lose would be ambush, having their tech reverse engineered (a little tricky but technically possible) and running out of food. a quick war would easily favor them.

so then, in THIS case, that means when the Captain reaches the castle for the second time in his second brave quest to save the maiden Seora, his squad is substantially smaller than it was at the start. they specifically probably weren’t under fire, as they would have entered through the back rather than the through the dusk maiden army guarding the front gates. but its in the lead up, after the first shot WAS fired (by the light army under someones command, probably not the Captain’s specifically) that he wouldve lot a solid number. mild earthquakes, raging heat, bullets?????? the army basically served to divert attention while they dove the fuck for cover and his squad went ‘oh shit, time to go NOW’ and bolted for it. a few of them might have been shot as they ran. idk. good fun! then they get into the castle through the same entrance they used the LAST time (it was at least partially deliberately left open. there are folk waiting on the inside but theyre basically in shadows just in CASE)

so when the captain enters the room with Esther and Seora and the other small group of Dusk Maidens who are present, he is probably one of the few if not the only person in the room with a gun. his troops likely dropped theirs in the chaos (either from the quakes or the heat, or just general pants shitting terror). he’s got his gun out. everyones ready to fuck up, but noones firing off yet. he’s probably yelling something about it being Esther’s last chance to turn over Seora before more people are killed, Esther’s going all ‘yea cool but a) my troops are winning by all accounts and b) youre the idiot who didnt listen LAST time you came here! she doesnt want to go’ seora going ‘right. fuck you’ captain ‘>:o thats it!’ and then fires on Esther. Seora makes that first shot miss, but now the dusk maidens are fucking Ready to Fight and leap forward. before the captain can take a second shot at Esther, Seora and Esther disarm him (making the gun too hot to hold and then flinging it the fuck away with that Windy Business) and then that whole long fucking post from last night ensues. nice!

which is cool. but i THINK, looking at tech, the M1 miiiight be too strong for kevlar. might? im not positive. numbers are confusing and im bad at math. but i thiiiiiiiiiink its penetration velocity is too high for ordinary layers of kev. yea no theyre too high. hold up. we need to back up the semi auto time frame a little. plus, m1s can do 40-50 rounds a min, thats a few too many. oh bitch i can bring back the model 8, oh fuck yea, i love the model 8. oh perfect. mm yup thats a good one. ok so that means that roughly speaking, light kingdom gun advances stop in the early 1900s, with dark kingdom advancements continue up till around the 1950s. its a bit fiddly because the light probably did have resources left over from before the civil war that allowed them to continue development for a while, but if we basically stick to model 8 era (not 81, generally). but because the dark kingdom contained the majority of the experts (even if a number woulda eaten dust from that Dark Plague Nuke) they’re far closer to that M1 level. M1s, AKs, the fun shit, really. that shit and beyond. meaning that, in theory, sufficient layers of kevlar (approx 6-8?) could block a model 8 shot (at range, anyway) allowing for the dark to be Kitted The Fuck Out. niiiice.

i lost my train of thought because of my mum which is pretty bad because this post is incredibly stream of consciousness...... dammit.

uh tl;dr dark side better weapons, armour, and infrastructure. light side better organic industry (farming and fabrics, also glass shit). dark side has jack all food and relies on limited coastal fishing and a few specific mountain creatures plus their limited farmland.

gun? light kingdom stuck at arooooouuunnnnddd model 8 level tech. its a good gun, and it gets the job done, that job being to shoot maidens before they can fire back. it was developed before the civil war and proved instrumental in many of the fights. however, in the time SINCE then, they havent progressed at all. the dark kingdom has continued to progress, especially in terms of armour (w/ the goods like Kevlar available for all Warrior Maidens) and they have stuff closer to m1 garands. the dusk maidens dont typically use guns, but the human members of the Warrior Maidens are usually given them. for uh, obvious reasons.

unrelated aside - most of the gems used by the Light Kingdom are made of glass, due to the lack of actual gemstones on their side of the border. just sorta how it goes