#hes just so pathetic an whumpable

[insomniwillow]

Techno, Phil, Niki, & Ranboo for the blorbo bingo

Jeez, alright, in order:

Techno

Phil

Niki

Ranboo

[whumporpass]

Licorice Cookie from Cookie Run!!!

propaganda: GOD he is SO pathetic. he’s one of the villains and is a scrawny pathetic necromancer who is terrible at his job, perfect for whumping. in the youtube series Last Cookie Standing he immediately starts talking to a rock. also just take a listen to his voice. you’ll see. he’s incredibly whumpable.

[caspersickfanfics]

I absolutely ADORE your newest fic oh my word. Everything about it was just so indulgently soft and the sickfic elements were so delightful!!! I love Tighnari’s calm external self with just his full attention on Cyno, and I love how pathetic our usually strong and fearless Cyno is!! Just him clinging to that tolite for dear life!! Honestly I’d read a follow up just to see more of his recovery now that he’s got the help he needs and deserves. Super well done! Thank you for this meal 😋🥰

SCREAMS thank you!!! Gosh this made my night! It truly was my goal to make Cyno as pathetic as possible in that fic (sorry Cyno ur just too whumpable 😌), I'm glad that managed to come across XD I'm actively trying to get better about adding some ✨ fluff ✨ to my fics cause I know I tend to focus a lot on the pain aspect of things, so "indulgently soft" is really lovely feedback to get 🥰 💛

Oh! Also! You're in luck! A follow-up is in the works and nearly done, as a late day 14, "can't keep anything down" fic! So far it's quite a bit more suffering, but we'll get to the recovery part eventually (hopefully) (says the writer who's trying to get better at fluff. haha. ha. h–)

[toastess-with-the-mostess]

I'm gonna try to get my thoughts in order for this Larmina whump, I'm starting with her first because she's so whumpable it's crazy

This is kinda going to be a timeline of whump ig, that's the easiest way to explain everything I have for this pathetic little girl <3 Read more under the cut

Starting off stating this all this is fanon here, I like to think Larmina got to the team while the war was still happening. I don't see her as blood related to Allura any more than Allura and Romelle are, especially because I hc Larmina to be Polluxian

Maybe Pollux started having a war of its own so being royalty/nobility would place Larmina in a real bad spot, so she was sent off to Allura likely because Romelle had a hand into where she would go for protection Even though she isn't super related to Allura she is still considered to be an heir because after she got to the castle she was the only other royal there to take the throne in case Allura died

So now she's in a new place, still being attacked at least weekly, she doesn't know anybody, doesn't and/or can barely understand the language being spoken, and is now in line for the throne she was never supposed to take in the first place As she grows up, the war finishes, she is still seen as next in line for the throne, but now Allura can take up being queen. Except her royal studies keep going, they get more intensive and still prepare her for taking the throne. The throne that Princess Allura, the princess who crawled out of an underground tunnel like a rat, helped rebuild her left for dead planet and freed the universe from the enslavement and rule of the Drule Empire, still holds.

So yeah no pressure, just trying to fit in the shadow of a living legend (ty @duladear for reminding me that she's an heir and absolutely would have problems with it), but she made friends with the pilots and was doing well even if Coran decided to isolate her like he did Allura because she refused to marry if it wasn't for love, so Larmina was still next in line, in case that day never came. What came instead were her only friends, her family really, leaving her in the dust, alone and confused as to why she wasn't told a thing. She was closest to Pidge, he trained her to be a ninja which bonded them closer and was near his age, so she saw him like a favorite cousin or an older brother that'd make fun of her relentlessly but protect her no matter what. He was always truthful to her and never hid information because he knew the feeling of being left in the dark. Except he did just that when Wade took over, and she didn't even know why. Now she truly was alone in a castle where not even her aunt would come help her, being too busy fixing that broken planet they were on.

That's when she started her attitude change, she was always intense and stubborn, but now it was turned full blast. She found what she liked and stuck to it, changed her wardrobe to get as far as possible from what really felt like her destiny, sitting on a throne too big for her, always to be compared to her aunt and never being good enough to show she was different. Now a new war came, and new friends, she finally interacted with people her age and she was coming out of her metal shell and forced isolation. Her family came back too and everyone was so different, Pidge had changed radically, and she couldn't even see her favorite person in him now. So she pushed them all away because she was different too, and she was tired of taking orders that didn't involve her choosing what she wanted to do.

She thought she wanted to be on the voltron force, to fight for her adoptive planet, to do some good with her own two hands. Except she didn't even like the damn lions, she hated the flying, she hated the teamwork, and the cockpits only set off her claustrophobia which messed her up even more. Sometimes she thinks if she's really at home with Arus, or if going back to her war ridden planet of Pollux would be better because she'd finally do what she wanted, and maybe find the parents she felt had abandoned her with no reason why

[perfectpaperbluebirds]

Intense Coddling

@sicktember 2022 Prompt #8

Fandom/OCs: the Office

Title: Much Better

Words: 1100

Inspiration: This ask requesting sick Ryan Howard from the early seasons of the Office

Author’s comments: As I said when I answered this ask, I have always been a Ryan simp despite his horrible life choices and generally bad personality. He’s just so pathetic and whumpable and cute. Enjoy this snippet set during the first month of Ryan and Kelly’s relationship. 

As anyone could tell you, an office is the worst place to be during cold and flu season (except maybe a school), and the Scranton branch of the Dunder Mifflin Paper Company was no exception. Every other week someone was coming in sniffling or coughing. Everyone was armed with hand sanitizer, and potlucks were on hold until the spring, but everyone knew it wasn't a matter of "if" they got sick, it was a matter of when.

Ryan's turn came in late February, the worst time of the year. It had been a stressful month for him, what with becoming Kelly's boyfriend and all, so it was almost inevitable that something like this should happen. 

When he woke up one morning with a nasty sore throat and headache that confirmed the sniffles he'd had the day before were definitely a cold, he sincerely considered staying home. However his temperature was normal, and he knew between Kelly and Michael that he was certain not to be left alone, regardless of whether he went in or not, so with several resigned sighs, and a lot of cough drops, he made his sniffling way to work. 

His plan was to avoid Kelly for as long as possible and keep her from knowing he was sick even longer. All day, if he could manage it, and he carefully crafted ideas on how to avoid her the whole drive over. Naturally, that plan was shot to hell immediately when she walked in right behind him and they shared the elevator up to the office. She was of course ecstatic to see him and talked his ear off the whole time, which thankfully required very little input on his end. As long as he kept his cold in check around her, he might survive the day. 

Luck, as usual, was not on his side, though. Right inside the doorway there was a powerful hot air vent that blasted down on everyone all day long. Ryan usually appreciated that vent in the frigid Pennsylvania winters, but today it betrayed him. The change in temperature and airflow as he walked in tickled his sick nose exactly right, and he launched into a wet, unexpected pair of sneezes:

"Hiihh'DJEHSHhuue! Ttt'EHH-shuue!"

Kelly eyed him keenly as he wiped his nose on his sleeve. "Bless you, sweetheart. I hope you're not getting sick!"

"I'm fine. Just dust," he sniffled, walking toward his desk to hide his red face. Yet it seemed his fate was sealed. As he passed the reception desk, he caught a faint whiff of Pam's perfume, the one that always made him want to…

"Gihh-IHXSS'shooo! Hihh'TIHHSshoo!"

"You ARE sick!" Kelly crowed. "Your nose and eyes are all red and watery! You poor baby!" She ran to him and wrapped him in a hug, as if she'd just found out he had two months to live. 

"It's just the sniffles. It's really no big deal," Ryan sighed. 

As if she hadn't heard him, Kelly smacked her hand to his forehead like she was slapping on a sticker. "But your face is hot!"

"It only feels hot because your hands are cold from being outside. I checked this morning. I don't have a fever."

Kelly pouted, tucking her hands under her arms. "Well I'll be checking all day as soon as my hands warm up! I'm gonna take such good care of you. You'll definitely feel better by the end of the day."

"You don't have to do that. I'm fine."

"You're not fine, you're sick. But I'll make sure you feel much better soon." Her statement sounded as much like a warning as it did a reassurance.

It was a long day for Ryan. Just being sick on its own was tiring, but the intense coddling from his girlfriend was exhausting. For the rest of the day, it seemed every time he sneezed, Kelly was rushing over to bring him something, from several mugs of gross Indian tea (which he kept discreetly dumping onto the nearby plant), to tissues, to water, to cough drops, to a sweater. It would have been endearing if it wasn't so irritating. It was as if she took him being sick as a personal challenge to her status as his girlfriend and was determined to baby the cold right out of him. 

If she was bad though, Michael was almost worse. He insisted on hovering around Ryan's desk the entire day trying to hand him things or do things for him, likely thinking he was being helpful but only being a nuisance. Not only that, but Michael insisted on taking work away from Ryan and giving it to other people, saying Ryan needed to rest since he was sick. Jim was having none of this however, and pointedly asked why he didn't get his work passed off when he had bronchitis and a raging fever the month before and was told he still had to come into work. Michael pretended he didn't hear, but stopped trying to give Jim extra work after that.  

With almost no work to do and two people mother-henning him constantly, the day was the slowest Ryan had ever experienced, even at Dunder Mifflin. It didn't help that his cold steadily got worse as well, developing into a lovely cough and earache. However he remained stubbornly fever-free, per Kelly's hourly checks, so he stayed until five with everyone else. 

He was worried Kelly would try to come home with him to continue her coddling, so for the last few hours, he tried to make himself seem as gross as possible, intentionally sneezing on her several times and saying how contagious he probably was. Thankfully it seemed to work, and she started keeping her distance little by little. At five o'clock he shooed her away one final time. She half-heartedly offered to drive him home, keeping a few paces back, but let him leave with a promise to go straight to bed when he got home.

Ryan had never hopped in his car so fast. He took a deep, cleansing breath as he drove away, ignoring the fact that it made him cough, and headed straight for the nearest drugstore. He planned to have a proper sick day tomorrow, even if he had to find a way to give himself a fever. That meant he needed to stock up, not only for his own comfort, but also to ensure Kelly had no reason to stop over. He could survive a cold perfectly fine on his own, but there was no way he would survive another day of being taken care of.

[coldwind-shiningstars]

MDZS for the Blorbo meme?

blorbo (favorite character, character I think about the most): hmmm probably favorite is Lan Wangji? This seems like an obvious choice but also I adore him and, importantly, I also don't want to categorize him as anyone else in this meme.

scrunkly (my “baby”, character that gives me cuteness aggression, character that is So Shaped): Jin Ling. He is just so Teen and so many Emotions and so small and his dog…

scrimblo bimblo (underrated/underappreciated fave): Wen Ning? I feel like he's widely loved but not widely appreciated, if that makes sense? People make him out to be a scrunkly and I mean valid I suppose but it does come across a little infantilizing imo. I love him and I also respect his rich interiority and complex system of ethics.

glup shitto (obscure fave, character that can appear in the background for 0.2 seconds and I won’t shut up about it for a week): QIN SU!!!! I love her and can talk at length about her and I'm mad she died and even more mad it was just to advance the plot and we like. never even saw any depth of emotional response to her death beyond JGY trying to spin it to save his own skin. I've extrapolated an entire personality for her from like three lines.

poor little meow meow (“problematic”/unpopular/controversial/otherwise pathetic fave): Jin Guangyao for sure is my strongest? He is delightful. I think he should do more murder and also I am very invested in defending why he felt like he needed to do all the murder he did. However I have been very interested in Wang Lingjiao lately? I feel like she is kind of in the category Su She is, which is people… Often make them into worse people then they are, for the crime of Aspirations Above Their Station and/or not being a genius in a cast of geniuses. And I'm invested also in the precarity of her position in society and what she feels she has to do to maintain it

horse plinko (character I would torment for fun, for whatever reason): Wei Wuxian. Sorry, Wei Ying, you are just very whumpable.

eeby deeby (character I would send to superhell): I feel like everyone is going to say Jin Guangshan so I shall buck the trend in advance. Chang Cian.

[icannotweave]

more more blorbos!! :D hmm how about another fandom that you've been thinking about lately? pick one that u are just Bursting to talk about!

ahhh I couldn't think of anything for a while??? but then remembered daredevil exists and fell back down that obsession hole whoops! 😂 let's go on a nostalgia tour!!!

~

my blorbo: god....I am never not thinking about my absolutely chaotic peak of mental health, matt fucking murdock, good LORD. has there ever been a more unhinged man? the human equivalent of a chihuahua shaking and saying "normal, I'm normal I swear"??? my man has so many mental illnesses, "baby I have neurodivergencies you've never heard of". his religious struggles hit so hard and I love how angry he is, how hard he tries, he frustrates me so much when he hurts people he loves and I also GET IT 😭😭😭 he's such a martyr (derogatory) and his heroic nature is his biggest weakness and just...we love to see it! peak character design!!! 😍

honorable mention - I have spent way too many hours of my life defending karen "goat" page from stupid hate and while my defensive zeal of her has cooled somewhat, she was my blorbo for years and she is still one of my many wives 💖💖💖

my scrunkly: foggy nelson, sweetheart, nobody on this fucking show deserves you 🥺🥺🥺 he's such a good-hearted guy and his flaws are so real!! he's just a guy, trying hard against a fucked system and friends with sooooo much trauma and just! he needs to rest lmao. my heart lights up whenever I see him. he's so funny, he's so emotional, he cries over things!! he's nerdy and frustrated and an incurable optimist trying to be a realist! everyone loves foggy nelson. I love foggy nelson and I will kill anyone who hurts him. 💖💖💖

my scrimblo blimblo: honestly?? vanessa doesn't get nearly enough credit as an evil #girlboss. she's unhinged in such a sexy way and her casual evil, her eye for the beauty of destruction, is fascinating. she should have been the one to take over fisks' empire when he was in jail and it's sexism that stopped her ascendency. they hate to see an evil woman winning.

my glup shitto: claire, my wife, my beloved, my angel. it's a CRIME that she wasn't a bigger role and erasing her from the narrative is just absurd. she's so compelling and complex and heroic and!! the chemistry!!! with matt is so damn electric 😍😍😍 I Stan forever and I will always be bitter she was sidelined.

my poor little meow meow: it's frank castle, of course it's frank castle, who else could it be? he's...so wonderfully pathetic and ain't no more problematic but he's my free pass, so 😇 metatextually, he's a fascinating introspection into the destructive internalizing of imperialism, traumatic martyrdom, and toxic masculinity but in canon, he's just....a fucking bloody mess. I am obsessed.

my horse plinko: hmmm....they're all so fun to hurt but I love watching matt suffer 😇😇😇 he's the most tormentable man ever, he's pretty when he cries and I wanna watch him wrestle with god forever. is anyone more whumpable than matt murdock? no. no there isn't. my man is bleeding as we speak and frankly I encourage it.

my eeby deeby: WESLEY, james motherfucking wesley, he's such a fascinating character and I love him but in a very real way I also despise him, he's such a nasty man!!! he's not bothered by any nasty shit and his devotion to fisk is so spicy but also...ugh he's awful 👿

~

@yakuzadog thx so much for please (whispers please send me moreeeee 👀👀👀)

from this ask game

[tenapricots]

stf! (for extra challenge: no repeats)

Decided to do two versions, one with repeats and one with no repeats (well, I tried at least, but my efforts were in vain. Fun fact about me: whumpable character is almost always the favorite character)

With repeats:

blorbo (favorite character, character I think about the most): Cedric, Lorelei

scrunkly (my “baby”, character that gives me cuteness aggression, character that is So Shaped): Amber, Cedric (especially as a child), Sofia

scrimblo bimblo (underrated/underappreciated fave): Lorelei my beloved!

glup shitto (obscure fave, character that can appear in the background for 0.2 seconds and I won’t shut up about it for a week): Lorelei again!!! and idk if this counts since I don’t talk about him but younger!Baron Von Rocha is quickly becoming my music projection character so there’s that

poor little meow meow (“problematic”/unpopular/controversial/otherwise pathetic fave): Cedric

horse plinko (character I would torment for fun, for whatever reason): Cedric

eeby deeby (character I would send to superhell): Goodwyn, Roland II

No repeats (aka stop making everything about Cedric and Lorelei challenge):

blorbo (favorite character, character I think about the most): Cedric

scrunkly (my “baby”, character that gives me cuteness aggression, character that is So Shaped): Amber, Sofia

scrimblo bimblo (underrated/underappreciated fave): Hildegard - I don’t talk about her much but I feel like I do like her more than many in the fandom

glup shitto (obscure fave, character that can appear in the background for 0.2 seconds and I won’t shut up about it for a week): Lorelei, Baron Von Rocha

poor little meow meow (“problematic”/unpopular/controversial/otherwise pathetic fave): Wormwood (not exactly a fave but he has great potential to be one, I just need to rewatch the episodes he’s in because I feel like I’ve forgotten a lot)

horse plinko (character I would torment for fun, for whatever reason): Cedric (sorry but I do not torment anyone as much as I do him)

eeby deeby (character I would send to superhell): Goodwyn, Roland II

[friendlylocalwhumper]

Hi! This is @whumpedupvesper here and if you wanna, can you please write a ficlet (any fandom or even oc) where a villain character gets whumped and unwillingly saved by the hero character? Btw, love your content!

Hi @whumpedupvesper ! of course I can. thank you for the request! what a great way to start my day. I’m writing this with the Flash and Captain Cold (Leonard Snart). He’s, like, one of my favorite villains, and since they’re from comic books originally, they have such a classic hero/villain dynamic. And Cold is so whumpable, it’s not even funny.

“Get back, Barry,” Snart drawled, cocky as ever, with his cold gun trained on the speedster.

Barry stayed where he was, hands raised in more a show of temporary peace than surrender. “Hey, I’m not the one with the gun, no reason I’m a threat right now.”

“Nice try, Red. Don’t try and pull a fast one on me, or I’ll freeze you where you stand.” His tone, usually sinister, was lackluster this time around. And those bags under his eyes made him look more tired than dangerous.

“Something wrong, Snart?” Barry asked, and Cold was enraged to hear genuine concern in his voice.

“Don’t act like you care, Red. Just leave. One little robbery isn’t gonna kill this place.”

“I’m not gonna let you steal that diamond.”

For some reason, Snart paled at that. Wait. Barry took a step forward in the dark vault, and saw that Cold was already pale. Too pale. There was a light sheen of sweat on his skin, and the hand holding up the cold gun was unsteady.

“What’s wrong with you?” The Flash stepped closer, and Cold’s lip furled in anger.

“Get back.”

Tired of the games, Barry used his speed to knock the gun from Cold’s hand in a split-second. The weapon flew across the room. Snart’s eyes snapped to his gun, out of reach, and staggered back. He knew how eager the Flash was to help, how he couldn’t just walk away, and he scrambled for something to say that would make the damn hero lose interest in him.

“Fine, this heist is toast. I’ll leave, find some other joint to hit. Your job here is done, Flash.” He dragged out the hero’s name condescendingly, though his voice cracked embarrassingly. He looked for something else to use against Barry, who didn’t look remotely interested in letting him go. “Why wear the mask, Allen? I know who you are. I could let everyone else know, too.”

“Are you sick?” The hero asked, ignoring the criminal’s deflections. “Do you have a cold, Cold?” The half-mocking comment was one Snart himself would make, but the fact that he was advancing made the villain start to get antsy.

“I’m not sick,” He hissed, backing away even further... but his vision faded, just for a second, it was nothing, and his legs went wobbly. Damn it, he thought as the world spun and, suddenly, he was on the ground. It wasn’t all bad, he figured, as the cool marble floor felt amazing on his too-hot skin. He was tempted to go for his cold gun and use it on himself.

“Woah!” Barry exclaimed, and it was a testament to how surprised he was that he hadn’t used his speed to catch him. “How sick are you?”

“I’m not sick,” Cold repeated, desperation and exasperation making his voice a little less sarcastic than usual. “Don’t you dare-” before he could even get the words out, Barry was at his side, feeling his forehead. Snart pulled away, too late, too slow. It felt like he was moving through molasses, and he almost missed Barry’s expression growing even more confused.

“You’ve got a fever,” Barry said, and with that, Snart knew there was no way the hero would leave him be. His good guy instincts were way too pathetically ingrained in him. Cold sighed.

“Listen, Red,” He started getting up, but fell back down as soon as his stomach clenched in warning at the room spinning faster. “Don’t touch me, don’t ask questions, don’t act like-” He shivered, and knew the Flash noticed. “like we’re friends.”

Barry took off his mask, and Snart looked at him, still defensive. The hero’s brown eyes looked genuinely worried, and with a half-delirious spike of loneliness in his gut, Cold felt like the hero actually cared. The feeling made him even more sick to his stomach. “I just want to help. Do you have anyone else that cares?”

The idea of trying to make it somewhere safe - because he didn’t have a home, a place to stay - of finding a place to lay down, and getting water, and something cold to hold to his skin... it exhausted him immensely to even imagine doing that all on his own.

“I’ll be fine,” He deadpanned. “Never needed anyone.”

“Okay, well,” Barry grabbed him under the arms and pulled him up to his feet, getting under one arm to help him walk. “Too bad. You’re coming to my place.”

Snart was mortified. He tried to pull away, although just being upright sapped away most of his energy. Nausea was building up in him and he didn’t want to breathe, let alone fight off a damn clingy hero. “Don’t touch me!”

“Trust me, it’s not how I want to spend my weekend either. But I’m not leaving you here to pass out and get arrested. Because, with everything you’ve done, the cops probably won’t be as accommodating as I am.”

“I’ll take a bunch of good-for-nothing pigs over some sad sap with a god complex,” Snart muttered, though he let Barry guide him to the door. “You’re gonna pay for this, Allen.”

“No good deed,” Barry sighed, pulling his mask back on before they got out of the vault. “You know I’m gonna have to run us over to my house, right?”

“If you even try-”

Barry burst forward, his powers sending them shooting through the streets in a flash of light. He skidded to a stop in his living room, having only taken 5 seconds to get there, and Snart looked a few shades greener than before.

“Are you gonna-”

“No,” Cold growled. He doubled over, gripping his stomach, and Barry set him down on the couch. He knelt in front of the criminal, whose eyes were screwed tight in pain.

“I’m gonna get you some water.”

“Do what you want,” The villain snided, curled up and trembling.

“Ice?”

“Yeah. Lots of ice.”