#hes incapable of a lot of things and depends heavily on his parents and as a single child hasn't had much opportunity to learn from others

[kurthorton-moving]

I dont think i have ever mentioned nick on this blog bc hes an oc that has. Nothing to do with kurt or in common w him but looking at him next to kurt actually is so interesting to me because they're both around the same age coming from abusive homes and trying to just do what they have to to survive and theres so many interesting parallels between them

[the-lone-witch-and-secret-room]

The Blight twins, codependency and fatal communication failure

Recently I talked about “the Blight children and toxic behaviors”, specifically about the tough love fallacy and how their parents get them to target each other rather than backing each other up.

In that post I mentioned wanting to make one specifically on the relationship of the Blight twins, and, well, here we are.

When we think of The Owl House and unhealthy/toxic platonic relationships, we think of the one Amity has with the twins in the earlier episodes, or Eda and Lilith, or the one the Blight kids have with their parents. I’m pretty sure very few people would look at these words and think of Edric and Emira… but it’s true nonetheless. The twins are raised in a very toxic environment that teaches them a lot of unhealthy mechanisms. The heavily codependent relationship the two siblings share is incredibly unhealthy for both of them.

Let’s get into why.

More under cut because hell this got long.

Who am I without you?

The Blight Twins always show up as a unit. They’re a set of two, who share the same track and are involved in the same shenanigans.

We never see them separate from each other in the show. Not a single time.

Their mother picks their matching outfits, according to Dana, because she likes her kids to be “color-coordinated.” They’re supposed to always look similar.

To Amity, they’re a united front—we don’t get to see her relationship to them separate from each other, we only get her relationship with “the twins.”

As far as I’m aware we’ve never gotten art from Dana featuring just one of them. They’re also often treated as a pair by the fandom (outside of their respective ships, that is), showing up together and showcasing very similar behaviors in fics, showing up together in fanart, etc.

We don’t have much content of just one of them with Amity (or anyone else that’s not their romantic partner).

You also don’t generally see them disagreeing a lot in fan content, which is interesting. Despite being two separate characters, they don’t get to actually be separate from each other a ton.

The main difference you see in their portrayal is in Emira being treated as the more responsible older sister, while Edric gets treated as more goofy (and a bit of an idiot), both in the show and fanon content. But that’s essentially it.

The twins are the twins. There’s no “just Edric” or “just Emira”. They don’t seem to exist without each other.

Their united front is both their greatest strength and their weakest link. They likely experienced a similar abuse as the one Amity went through, but they always had each other to lean on instead of enduring it alone. And while it definitely helps them a ton that they have each other, it also results in an unhealthy amount of codependency. Edric and Emira ONLY ever had each other. Their relationship with Amity is pretty bad and outside of that almost nonexistent up until Lost In Language, mostly used to hurt each other. Edric is always with Emira and Emira is always with Edric and there is no one else they can fall back on. Their most important relationship, the one with each other, is simultaneously the only one they have, one that they desperately clung to for a very long time. They don’t have any friends that we’re aware of.

Both Emira’s and Edric’s worst fear is born out of this. Despite being completely opposite fears, they stem from the same basic issue. In Enchanting Grom Fright, when they talk about their worst fears, Edric says “Being alone forever.” while Emira says “Being stuck with you forever.”

There is so much characterization in those two little sentences.

Edric has a fear of being alone because he’s always around Emira. He doesn’t know what it’s like to be alone, and he doesn’t want to find out. He doesn’t know who he is without Emira. This is somewhat subtle in the show, but she’s shown to be the more responsible of the two, preventing her brother from eating snow and being bitten by a bat. Edric looks to Emira for guidance, and his fear of being alone might stem from him not thinking himself capable of taking care of himself. Emira is smart and knows what she’s doing, and so Edric always runs after her. Even just entertaining the thought of being without her, without anyone to guide him, scares him so much that he proclaims it his worst fear. He likely leans on Emira a ton.

His desire to to lean on other people because he thinks himself incapable of handling issues himself comes with the possibility of him opening up easier, to the extent of oversharing, doing it so much that it becomes overbearing for Emira. But even if he can open up about some of the fears he has related to not meeting their parents expectations, he can’t really communicate the issues he has that involve Emira, because open communication about their issues is something they generally struggle with (see the point about lack of communication further below). Edric is under the impression that he needs someone else because he’s never been without Emira and doesn’t know what it’s like to exist without her. And as long as he has someone to lean on, he never has to find out if he’s truly as incapable as he thinks himself to be. His refusal to let go of her fuels his fear further—the tighter he holds on, the scarier the thought of letting go becomes.

Emira doesn’t know who she is without Edric either, and that’s exactly the reason she wants to break out of that dynamic so desperately. She doesn’t want to be nothing but someone’s twin for the rest of her life. She wants to just be herself, not have all her interests linked to her brother, for people to stop mentioning her only in the same sentence as Edric. She’s had enough of the matching. What Emira really wants is independence—from her brother, and, to a larger extent, her parents and their control.

Edric leaning on her as much as he does makes Emira feel responsible for him, and she struggles to let go of that because she doesn’t want to hurt him—but the tighter he holds on because he believes he needs her, the more overwhelmed Emira feels by her brother and the responsibility she holds for both of them.

Emira loves Edric, but she’s his sister, and can’t provide him with emotional support 24/7. Spending all day handling someone else’s issues can be pretty draining, especially when you struggle to share the ones you yourself have.

With Emira’s longing for independence comes a refusal to lean on anyone, especially on Edric, because she can’t at the same time let herself be vulnerable and need his support while also wanting to break out of their current dynamic. So Emira doesn’t talk about her issues, she doesn’t cry, she doesn’t lean on anyone. Emira is independent and strong and she doesn’t need anyone, especially not Edric.

It likely started out as them leaning on each other, but where Edric started to become too dependent on Emira always being there, Emira started growing increasingly overwhelmed and pulling back, catching them in a vicious circle of him trying to hold on tighter in order not to lose her, which causes her to draw back further.

To be clear:

a) Emira is not a terrible person for wanting to be away from Edric. What she said hurt him and came across as callous, but what he said harmed her too, even if the “why” that I just explained isn’t as blatantly obvious in the show. Edric isn’t a terrible person for relying on Emira so much, either. Neither of them are inherently malicious in any way, even if they do hurt each other. That they have to deal with these issues in the first place is rooted in the abuse they experienced, specifically in their parents treating them as a two-part set rather than two separate people their whole life.

b) I think it should be clear now why Edric’s behavior is toxic, but I want to address that Emira’s behavior is also an issue. While her desire for independence in itself is normal and healthy, she’s striving for a toxic kind of independence where she doesn’t need anyone anymore, which wouldn’t be good for her either.

Everyone needs to rely on other people sometimes, and if she doesn’t allow herself to, it’s going to cause some serious damaged in the long run. The most reliable relationship she had, the only support system she has, falls victim to her desire to be away from Edric… and only after she is she’s going to realize just how much she needed him, needed anyone to be there, too.

I think it’s very interesting that Edric’s and Emira’s issues are essentially inverted—they have the same root, but their problems are the exact opposite.

Edric is Emira’s mirror image.

This is also shown visually. With the matching clothes and identical dominant features (eye and hair color), they look extremely similar. Their beauty marks are what makes them into a mirror image rather than just looking identical, because they’re on opposite sides of their face. Emira’s is on her right cheek, Edric’s on his left. If they face each other, the marks mirror each other perfectly.

They had the same thing in the concept art I’ve seen of them too, but it was with identical earrings on opposite sides rather than beauty marks.

Caged Freedom

I couldn’t find a way to somehow smoothly fit this into the overlaying topic, but it’s an important part of the reason for their communication issues I go into below, and also just something that I wanted to go into, so take it or leave it.

The twins appear extremely confident, seem like they always get what they want (Amity even resents them for “getting away with everything”), but they really, really doesn’t. Sneaking out of school is the only way they can have the slightest bit of normalcy and freedom and control over their life, and Edric and Emira cannot be caught or it will come back to bite them—the reason they wanted to punish Amity in the first place is that she told on them for skipping, getting them in trouble.

Even within their “rebellion” against their parents, there’s a set system Emira and Edric have to operate within—matching clothes, perfect scores, not doing anything that could get back to their parents or harm the family reputation. Despite skipping school, they both maintain excellent grades. It’s said in Adventures in the Elements, Amity is even trying to beat their best score on an exam.

It’s a careful, calculated kind of resistance, not one that includes them openly opposing their parents. They do things their parents wouldn’t like, they tread lines, but they’re being smart about it, in hopes it will never get back to their parents. Even their limited freedom is caged in that way.

Despite seeming as confident as they do, they’re too scared to talk back to their parents. They cause exactly the kind of trouble that they know is possible to get away with without putting themselves in harm’s way. Going further, openly calling their parents out for how they’re being treated, would be dangerous, and so they don’t. They operate within the system and follow it as much as they have to in order to be able to push the boundaries even slightly.

Their endless confidence, their apparent fearlessness, is just another illusion of theirs.

They wouldn’t need to get back at Amity for telling on them if their behavior was just a huge “fuck you” to their parents. But they do, because their parents aren’t supposed to know. They’re scared, even if they’d never admit that.

Emira and Edric target Amity as a way to cope with the treatment they receive from their parents, which they to an extent blame on Amity (I’ve gone over this more in-depth in the toxic behaviors post I linked above).

Hurting Amity in hopes she won’t tell on them again seems safe in a way that actively calling out their parents behavior could never be.

Lack of Communication

Edric and Emira both have trouble communicating their feelings in a healthy way, and instead of open communication and talking things through they revert to backhand comments and punishment.

They grown up believing that severe punishments are necessary, “tough love” used to help someone improve as shown (and literally quoted) in Lost In Language in regards to Amity. That’s also something I go into my other Blight sibs post.

Regarding the backhand comments, let’s look at their worst fears in Enchanting Grom Fright again. As explained above, Emira’s “being stuck with you forever”-fear is a shitty attempt at trying to get across that she’s unhappy with never getting to be apart from Edric to just be herself. Edric’s “being alone forever” brings up a huge fear of his, especially of being abandoned by Em, which, regarding her worst fear, is justified.

Both of these fears are extremely understandable, and they don’t necessarily have to be at odds with each other—Emira just wants to not feel overwhelmed by Edric, and figure out who she is, and she doesn’t have to completely abandon him to achieve that, even if it’s something she might think she wants now. Edric has to find a way to be able to rely on himself more because Emira can’t always be around him, but he can still maintain a close, positive relationship with her, and would absolutely be able to make other friends that could support him.

What them voicing these fears is, for both of them, is a desperate cry for help, for change. Edric wouldn’t be bringing this up if there wasn’t a part of him that desperately wants to talk to Emira about this, and in the same way Emira wouldn’t have said her fear if she wouldn’t want it too. But the issue is that the twins don’t actually communicate. They put these huge things out there, validating the other’s worst fear with what they say. And then they don’t talk it out. These sentences just hang in the air between them, and then they move on like nothing happened, both anxious and hurt.

And this is because the Blight family in general doesn’t communicate. As mentioned before, the twins don’t dare to talk back to their parents, they do things behind their backs and hope they won’t get caught. They don’t communicate with Amity, and despite Edric and Emira being the closest person the other has, they don’t really communicate the issues in their relationship with each other either, because they don’t know how. This is not a skill they were ever taught, because talking things through like that requires them to be extremely vulnerable. To acknowledge what their worst fears are and why, that they might have gone too far or might have been wrong about some of the things they said, and therefore admit to not being perfect.

But Blights are required to be perfect, and Blights aren’t wrong—if others don’t see things your way, you make them. If others don’t act the way you want them to, you punish them. Tough love to help them grow and “encourage” them to make the “right” decision.

There’s no room for open communication in an environment that sees vulnerability as a shortcoming, and admitting mistakes as a weakness. If neither party is willing to take the first step, communication withers and dies, and the issues go ignored as they grow. Admitting there’s an issue in the first place, and that it might partially be your fault, is considered backing down. And Blights don’t back down. They can’t.

If you back down in business, let others convince you into a bad contact, you’ll never be successful. Worst case: it might be the end. And so you don’t back down. You never do. Blights don’t lose an argument. The other person has to break and back down first.

But that can’t work when both people involved were raised with that mindset. So Emira doesn’t make the first step, and neither does Edric, and aside from their backhand comments that never lead anywhere, they just suffer silently as their relationship disintegrates without as much as their acknowledgement of it.

For Edric, there’s also the issue that bringing up his fear might possibly drive Emira further away, knowing her fear. He doesn’t want to make her angry, and doesn’t want to fight with her, because it might lead to him losing her, which is exactly what he so desperately wants to prevent.

I can’t remember which post brought it up, but one post I read a while back also addresses how despite admitting that her behavior was wrong, we never hear Amity say “sorry” to Willow. Because if there’s one thing the Blight family does even less than admitting mistakes in the first place, it’s apologizing for them. Open communication is weak. Apologizing is weaker.

In summary: There needs to be a balance between depending on yourself and still being able to ask others for support when you need it, and Emira and Edric are currently sitting on opposite ends of the same issue. Both of them need to move more towards the middle. What one of them so desperately wants is what the other needs to recognize.

Emira realizes that she needs space from Edric, and because Edric doesn’t recognize it, he’s the one that needs space from Emira more. He desperately needs to realize that clinging to each other the way they currently are isn’t healthy.

Edric realizes that he needs support from other people, and that’s something Emira denies for herself that she really needs to realize.

They both have half of the solution to their shared problem, but their difficulties communicating the issues within their relationship properly prevent them from finding a healthy solution together.

For everyone that’s incredibly sad now (myself included): I cover these topics in several of my fics.

Most prominently, Locked Out, where I’m currently beginning to explore the Blight twins and their different mindsets further.

Most recently, Sleight of Hand, a collab fic I did with my friend @lexa-alycia, where, among other things, the twins have a long overdue conversation regarding the things said in Enchanting Grom Fright.

But also 6/8 of my currently posted Owl House fics (not counting another additional two that also do and are done but haven’t been posted yet) give focus to at least one of the Blight twins if not both, so yeah I have plenty of twins content on my profile for anyone that wants XD

Next up, probably (because I just do not want to be done with this apparently): a post regarding Vinem and Jerbric and why these relationships would work and be extremely beneficial for everyone involved.

[appleflavoredkitkats]

Analysis of the “Fundy’s Mind” Stream: A Showcase of Repressed Memories and Repressed Insecurities

i. INTRODUCTION

Hi! This is going to be… something. Funny how I focus on this rather than my research homework, but I have a MASSIVE Fundy brain rot right now and I’d love to share my thoughts on Fundy’s newest stream. Fair warning, I am not the Messiah, so don’t take everything as fact. I’m open to constructive and objective discussions in replies or in DM’s, so feel free to hmu!

All of this is /dsmp and /rp by the way!

Heavy trigger warnings for derealization, parental neglect, neglect in general, self-deprecation, self-neglect, low self-esteem, death, manipulation, abandonment, loneliness, trust issues, torture mention, blood mention, and broken friendships.

Word Count: Approximately 10k.

ii. PRE-LIVESTREAM ASPECTS

Before we begin deep diving into the mind of Fundy, I do want to emphasize two major themes of this stream: 1.) Fundy’s insecurities, especially when it comes to abandonment and trust, and 2.) Fundy’s future predicting abilities. A ton (but not all) of statements uttered by the books and Fundy himself tend to have double meanings that apply to both of these themes. 

We can further discuss the future predicting powers later, but to give a little background on Fundy’s insecurities: Fundy is notorious for heavily depending his self-worth on the recognition other people give him. Despite his immaturity, a lot of Fundy’s character is rooted in being heavily underestimated. This could be observed during the Pet Wars when his safety was constantly being threatened by Sapnap, inevitably making him lose a duel against him. Another way we can see this is through Wilbur’s early treatment of Fundy where he constantly infantilized him because Wilbur believed Fundy was a child incapable of being independent. This caused Fundy to appeal a lot to any type of compliment from any person- it began with Quackity ensuring him that he will gift him a lot of cookies if he votes SWAG2020, then to Schlatt complimenting him to the point that Fundy almost gave up on spying and siding with Pogtopia, then to the Butcher Army where he unhesitantly followed Tubbo and Quackity’s lead no matter how many times they made fun of him. While he revels in any type of recognition given, oftentimes, those who seem to care for Fundy tend to leave after he grows attached to them; first with Wilbur, then Niki, then Schlatt, then Eret and Phil, then Tubbo, Ranboo, and Quackity. In the Dream SMP, Fundy is very lonely and has dealt with abandonment issues left and right, but typically, he never does anything with his loneliness, as the last time he lashed out against someone who left him, nothing positive really came out of it (this is when he got mad at Ghostbur). 

(Everything else is under the cut! I worked so hard on this, so please read it if you can, it’d mean a lot!)

So, with all that laid out, I want you to keep this all in mind as it is important for understanding why Fundy feels the way he does in the stream.

Now, let’s begin the analysis. First off, I believe it is important to denote the title and the tags of the stream. The stream is titled “Fundy’s Mind”, so we have to denote that this isn’t merely a dream sequence- the stream is meant to explore the complexity of Fundy’s mind. This includes his thoughts, insecurities, repressed memories, and so on and so forth. Additionally, the stream is tagged “Permadeath”, something different from what Fundy typically tags his streams. There is no clear explanation as to what this could mean, but the possibilities are:

It is hinting that the death system in the Dream SMP could be rigged, and someone is messing with the semantics of death and how it works.

It is hinting that someone will face a permanent death, and most fingers are pointed at Fundy as this is his stream. If not a permanent death, he might at least lose one of his canon lives which was hinted later on in the stream (will discuss later).

It is hinting that he was killed by the end of the dream. Not really a solid theory as we don’t actually know the repercussions of killing someone who is actively dreaming, but it is a possibility.

iii. PROLOGUE

A thing to question at the beginning of the stream is if the entire introduction was part of the dream or not. Seeing how Fundy has the same inventory from this to the next scene, it is plausible, but I don’t think it provides anything if it were a dream. 

Anyway, other things to denote are Fundy’s hotbar! First noticeable thing would be the 38 baked potatoes. The website angelnumber.org explains that 38 means:

“The combination of these two numbers makes the number 38 a number which signifies joy and optimism, courage, finding creative ways to materialize abundance, reality, etc.

The essence of the number 38 in numerology are different kind of relationships, such as romantic ones, business partnerships, teamwork, cooperation, diplomacy, etc.

Number 38 people have a talent for dealing with people in a caring and creative way. They are born team-workers. They need interaction with other people to fully enjoy their lives. They are usually optimistic and have a gift of inspiring others to action.”

So far, the number 38 is viewed to be positive. It signifies financial success and cooperativeness, which is interesting if Fundy’s future arc potentially ties to working with Quackity. To further add onto symbolisms regarding success, dreamastromeanings.com says the following:

“If you dreamed of baking or roasting potatoes, that dream is a good sign. It usually indicates your finances increasing over time.

Possibly you have made some investments and now you are beginning to reap the fruits of your efforts and risky activities.”

or,

“If you dreamed of holding a potato in your hand, that dream is a bit of a warning. You might soon receive some lucrative opportunity, possibly work related.

It is advisable to think fast and accept it because you might not get a second chance.

It could also indicate that you are a bit lazy when it comes to taking chances and missing opportunities because of that.”

Both explanations refer to business opportunities and possible investments. If we combine both the explanation for the number 38 and carrying potatoes, we can assume that Fundy will be receiving a business opportunity that would be too good to miss. These explanations also imply that nothing too negative would occur, but instead, Fundy can achieve success through this business opportunity. The only arcs in the Dream SMP which I think could provide a business opportunity would either be 1.) a new warden at the prison, 2.) new member at Snowchester (low odds), but the most likely occurrence would be 3.) Quackity offers him a position at Las Nevadas. With the Quackity smiley face at the end of Fundy’s stream, we can safely believe that the job opportunity at Las Nevadas would be the most likely occurrence.

Another explanation for this is that because the 38 potatoes were brought from the seemingly real world, it could possibly pertain to something that had already happened in the past. This could possibly allude to L’Manberg, especially when the explanations behind 38 potatoes are presented to be more positive, something the current Las Nevadas arc isn’t.

Second thing to notice about the hotbar: Fundy is currently at level 5, with his EXP bar 1/18 filled. To reach level 5, one has to gain 55 EXP, and to reach level 6, one would need to gain an extra 17 EXP. If the bar is merely 1/18 filled, 1/18 of 17 would be 0.94, which when rounded off, is 1. Add 1 to the extra 55, and we would approximately get 56 EXP. The website angelnumber.org says the following:

“The number 56 symbolizes teamwork, coexistence, family, relationships, adventure and expression of freedom.

Number 56 people have diverse interests, some of which they have an in-depth knowledge of and some just general understanding.

They try different approaches in relationships, trying to keep them alive. If everything they’ve tried fails, they simply walk to another relationship.”

This could mean a lot of things. The second sentence could imply that Fundy doesn’t fully comprehend the complexity of his mind. Some parts, he may understand, some, he does not at all. This could imply that there are also more secrets hiding in his mind that we couldn’t get to see. The third sentence is more interesting as Fundy’s entire character arc involves him and his broken relationships with other people. It’s a quite accurate description of Fundy, describing how he desperately tries anything to make a relationship work, and if it fails, he could easily befriend other people even if there is a possibility that that relationship would fail like the previous. 

If we ignore the number of EXP, we can merely focus on the number 5, which means the following:

“When angels are sending you number 5, they want to encourage you to have hope and to be ready to accept all the changes that are coming. Also, if number 5 has appeared just at the moment when you have been thinking about something important in your life, this number could be the answer or the solution for your problems. You should pay attention to number 5 and think of its secret meanings.

If number 5 keeps appearing by your side, it means that changes are already happening in your life. If they have not happened yet, don’t worry. They are on the way and you will feel them in the next couple of days or weeks.”

This can be connected to both the EXP number and the stream as a whole as Fundy begins to accept the gravity of his abandonment issues instead of suppressing his negative feelings towards it. Throughout the stream, Fundy is shown rejecting the idea that he is being neglected by others, but by the second half of the stream, he rejects it less and less. This could be the change the explanation is referring to as Fundy realizing his negative feelings towards his abandonment issues are valid and he needs to take them more seriously rather than brushing them aside. 

With number symbolisms finally aside, we can begin analyzing the actual sequences! Fundy is seen to be approaching his “Not A Secret” Base with a sigh, asking chat if they can go to sleep so that he can go to sleep too. Fundy immediately doubts the possibility of the others in the server following through his request until Ranboo responds with a simple “okay” while Niki responds with “yiss, am asleep”. Fundy quickly flashes the members list on the screen, showing us that only Niki and Ranboo are online on the server before he showcases his new bed, claiming that he likes it.

Two interesting notes about this: 1.) he decides to sleep, which is odd enough in the Dream SMP, and 2.) him having three new beds despite only using one of them. For the first point, I’d like to refer you to what Fundy said at around 26:08:

“I just gotta sleep and then, it’s gonna disappear! And then everyone is gonna appear out of a bush and they’re gonna be ‘Surprise!’, and I’m gonna be like, ‘You guys…! You’re always pranking me, you’ve always been there for me. Every single time… except sometimes… when I needed you the most.’ I just go to bed, I just go to bed, and none of this ever happened.”

While I understand that he is referring to the dream, I also believe that this statement would be one of those types I mentioned earlier that may have a double meaning. While “I just go to bed,” could refer to him wanting to sleep and wake up from this horrific dream, it could also refer to how he easily shuts down to his abandonment issues and goes to bed instead of handling it head first. Knowing this, him going to bed in the first scene could imply that he is in this type of  abandonment predicament, especially when we connect it to the second point. The color orange is meant to represent joy and warmth, and even without the symbolism, we all know orange is Fundy’s favorite color. He sees these three beds and says that he likes them, but I can’t help but feel like the other two beds are meant for two other people. I don’t think Niki and Ranboo being the only other two people on the server is coincidental; they have to relate to the two extra beds in some way.

Niki and Ranboo are two prime examples of close friends Fundy had before breaking off after a misunderstanding. Niki fought with Fundy after he had to burn the flag she made in order to gain Schlatt’s trust, while Fundy fought with Ranboo after Doomsday when they had conflicting beliefs about neutrality and sides. After both incidents, Fundy never really made his way to apologize, but Fundy has awkwardly met up with these two after a certain point. With Niki, he was forced to team with her at the beginning of the November 16th War, joking around with her and Eret, while for Ranboo, Fundy had to talk to him and Philza when they were joking around in the SMP. The meet ups definitely relieved some tension, but it never fully resolved the conflict Fundy had with both characters, so there was never a chance for him to rekindle the close bonds he had with both Ranboo and Niki in the past.

Fundy going to his favorite beds with two extra spots next to him could represent how he does cherish the friendships he shared with Niki and Ranboo, but never has the guts to actually bring back things the way that they were before. So, instead, Fundy sleeps, not wanting to think about them any further.

iv. FIRST DAY

When he wakes, Fundy checks his inventory before exiting his base, saying “Uhm, I don’t actually-” until he cuts himself off once he spots the desert. I don’t actually know what Fundy was supposed to say here, but because he checked his inventory beforehand, I believe he was trying to say “I don’t actually know where my things are,” but I could be wrong. To be fair, this isn’t too important, so we don’t have to focus on that. What we can focus on is the misplaced desert that was obviously not there before Fundy slept. We can easily infer what deserts could symbolize in dreams, especially when it comes to loneliness and the feeling of being deserted, but for better insight, consider what dreamstop.com claims about deserts:

“A dream of a desert is about something that is devoid of any feelings or care for you. It is all about them and nothing about you. Does someone show you a lack of respect? Is there someone or something in your life you dislike and adds no meaning to your life? Do you feel invisible? That no-one cares about you? Deserts represent an empty, barren place you may be trying to fill.

Desert dreams may appear when a relationship or friendship breaks down, or when you feel totally alone. You may have moved recently and have not yet made friends. You may feel homesick for all you left behind.

Being lost in a desert refers to your feelings that a situation is hopeless. You may have a problem you feel no-one cares about, even though you tried to reach out. You may feel there was no support and are feeling hurt and alone.”

You don’t need much analyzing to connect these meanings to what Fundy is experiencing. The setting of a “desert” merely pads the idea of Fundy being incredibly lonely to the point of him believing that he has nothing left to lose. Back in Doomsday, he was an optimistic nihilist, claiming that he doesn’t care much about what occurs from this point onwards as long as he can have a little bit of fun. On the stream where he created the Cube, he claimed that most people hated him anyway, so the least he could do was to make himself so hateable so other people could unite together in their hatred of Fundy even if it meant Fundy would have no companions left. Let it be known: Fundy is incredibly, incredibly lonely, and he is miserable in his loneliness, especially when his self-worth depends on how much people recognize him.

Another thing this desert could be eluding to would be Las Nevadas as it is set in the desert. I do think the desert’s main purpose is to showcase Fundy’s loneliness, but the connection to Las Nevadas is plausible.

Additionally, the dark skies Fundy sees doesn’t really need much of an explanation either. I couldn’t find a website exactly defining what it means to find a dark sky, but most of them speak of it as a negative thing, often symbolizing something terrible to come. I don’t think I need to explain that part, so we’re moving on.

Fundy is, understandably, very confused about this entire predicament. He quickly moves around his base to figure out what is going on, even messaging in chat to see if anyone would respond. Climbing up the ladders, he stands atop his base, spotting the silhouette of the Camarvan from afar. He continues to be confused, claiming he has no idea why he’s here in the first place. He claims he is “freaking out”, continuing to ask questions about where he is, and why the sky turns dark. He denotes that he isn’t at least completely alone as bunnies swarm around the desert. He begins to follow this sandstone path, every few blocks or so passing a fence with a torch stood atop it.

Here, we can infer that Fundy seems to have never seen this place before, or has no recollection of it entirely. Fundy doesn’t seem to be immensely freaked out just yet, especially since he hasn’t asked any questions about how no one is there, mostly focusing on his location and asking what the place is about.

Fundy then asks why the van is here, then zooms in on the nametags he sees at the back of the van. It is notable that something nametagged “Fundy” is shorter than another thing that is nametagged “WilburSoot”. Fundy tries to reach out for them but is unable to enter the van.

We can easily infer that this scene was meant to represent Fundy’s childhood in L’Manberg when he was being taken care of by Wilbur. Despite the lack of silhouettes, we can easily determine that Fundy is young in this scene because of how his nametag is in a much lower position next to Wilbur's, implying that whoever owns that nametag is much shorter. We can denote that by the beginning of the L’Manbergian Revolutionary War, Fundy was, in fact, a child. 

Another question some of you might ask: why is the Camarvan here in the first place? While I believe it could be representative of the part of Fundy’s mind that tackles past memories, I do think it also serves another purpose which I will explain later.

Moving on to the next scenes, Fundy continues following the sandstone path while typing in chat, asking if anyone was actually there. He gets confused by the path for a moment, wanting to go to the ominous building, before realizing that the path does connect to the building, it just swerves a little to the left.

It is notable that when Fundy cried out for help, he doesn’t call for a name in specific-  he calls out for ANYONE. The fact that he is calling out for “anyone” could denote that he doesn’t have any close friends or family members he would want to specifically call out for. 

Continuing on, Fundy follows the path to the building, still very immensely confused about where he is. Opening the door, he sees that the inside descends into an underground room with its flooring made out of chiseled quartz blocks. Fundy gets scared at first, immediately closing the door, looking back in, and going back out once more.

Fundy denotes that there is absolutely nothing out here as he walks around the building. He then gains the courage to descend the staircase, wondering what it is, and at the bottom, there are a lot of misplaced sandstone blocks with small lights illuminating at certain corners. The path leads to the left, showing 10 pieces of red carpet on the floor, and 8 pieces of yellow carpet on the table. He approaches the wooden table before looking to his right, spotting a skull on the floor next to a piece of redstone, which I believe is meant to resemble blood.

I don’t think we really need to research a skull to check what it might represent, but my theory so far as to what the skulls mean in each building would be that it’s meant to represent Fundy losing a canon life. I don’t know if this was intentional, but the corner room where the skull is somewhat reminds me of the Final Control Room with the redstone in the middle representing the button. That is, after all, where Fundy lost his first canon life. 

One of the theories I subscribe to is that the skulls in these buildings are meant to foreshadow Fundy’s death before he ever reaches it. Earlier in the day, we saw Fundy pass by the Camarvan with a younger Fundy which could possibly imply that they haven’t gotten to Eret’s betrayal yet, but the skull creeping up at the corner could represent that it is, in fact, coming. How this ties in to the entire future predicting thing, I will explain later, but for now, keep an eye out on the skulls.

Terrified of the skull, Fundy opens the chest and hesitantly picks up the book and quill inside of it. He opens it and is introduced to another Fundy writing to himself. Other Fundy claims that they’re not exactly the same person, but this Fundy is a part of the real Fundy. Other Fundy claims that Fundy cannot trust this place as it is not real, then begins saying that Fundy himself is not real repeatedly. Fundy’s heart rate suddenly increases when he sees the words “wake up” appear slowly in the book, and after page 34 is shown, Fundy wakes up to a new day in the dream world. 

First thing to denote is that the book has 87 pages, and 87, according to affinitynumerology.com means as follows:

“The numerology number 87 is a number of family, organization, and prosperity.

It's also a number of harmony and idealism, the ideal generally related to a harmonious and prosperous family relationship.

87 has parental instincts. It assumes responsibility for the welfare of others it considers to be family.”

The explanation implies that Fundy longs for family and cares deeply for those who he considers as his family. As much as he hated Wilbur after he died, Fundy still continuously expressed how much he needed Wilbur to be there. He is absolutely attached to anyone who poses as a possible family member, especially to those who he views as parents or guardians. Even outside of Wilbur, he is still practically attached to Phil, even if Phil refuses to consider Fundy as family. Fundy also got immensely angered by Eret when she didn’t show up to sign his adoption papers. I’d even say his attachment to family would even reach people like Sally and Schlatt. Fundy has a tendency of casually talking about Sally, and whenever a character talks about eating salmon, Fundy becomes deeply offended. For Schlatt, Fundy kept Schlatt’s netherite sword after he died, considering it to be an “heirloom”, something that only gets passed down onto different generations of the same family. Fundy is incredibly attached to the sword, and whenever he loses it, he’s absolutely desperate to get it back. As much as Fundy gets abandoned, he still deeply appreciates a lot of his family.

87 is also very reminiscent of one of the books in the Inbetween. A lot of the phrasing in the books are actually quite similar to the Inbetween, but we aren’t sure if Fundy and the Inbetween are directly affecting each other or if these places merely work in similar ways. The main similarity between Fundy and the Inbetween is that it involves something related to time travelling, so the similarities could be pointing towards that rather than imply that Fundy is directly affecting the Inbetween all together.

Secondly, the book stops at Page 34. The website angelnumbers.org express the following:

"Most likely you are leaving your projects unfinished because of fear for their destiny after you finish them.

Will they be rejected or accepted by others?

Because you would rather not find out that and possibly have your ego hurt, you consciously or subconsciously sabotage your work and leave things unfinished.

When this number starts appearing in your life frequently, it is a reminder to acknowledge you have a problem and start dealing with it.”

This is very reminiscent of the paragraph I made earlier discussing Fundy’s relationship with Ranboo and Niki- and this could honestly apply to any other relationships Fundy has as well. Besides Fundy’s relationships, this explanation could apply to Fundy’s hesitance of finding out the truth of his mind. Earlier on in the streams, Fundy is immensely confused about the dream, not wanting to discover its truths at all. This eventually changes on the third day, but we’ll discuss that in a bit.

Another thing I’d like to discuss would be the identity of the book authors and why they wrote the books the way they did. I’ll explain about this more in-depth later, but I do believe that another Fundy is, indeed, writing these books. As this was set in Fundy’s mind, it’s quite impossible for anyone who isn’t Fundy to be meddling with the books. What we can denote, though, is the reason as to why these books were created in the first place. The book itself seems to be harmless at first, quite inviting towards Fundy in the first few pages, but once it had to introduce what this world is, it seemed to hesitate. There were a couple of disjointed pages, as well as blank pages, before it began claiming the world wasn’t real, and that Fundy wasn’t real. It turned a complete 180, which seemed to be very odd to me. In past events of the Dream SMP, derealizing statements like this tend to be tricks of the mind, but these statements seem to be intentionally put there by those who wrote the book, especially since later on, we see another book completely give up on saying these triggering statements, saying that “It’s not going to work.” (32:05). 

What this implies is that whoever placed these statements are attempting to scare Fundy in some way, possibly heightening his insecurities and terror so that he can be truly terrified of the place. The constant statements of “you are not real” may not only refer to the Other Fundy trying to make Fundy spiral downwards in derealization, but it might actually represent how neglected Fundy feels to the point of feeling invisible, to the point of feeling that he “isn’t real”. But why is this Other Fundy trying to scare Fundy, and who, specifically, is the person behind the writings, you might ask? This question will be answered later on when we go more in-depth with the other books, as the bigger picture is very much needed instead of explaining it all by the first book.

v. SECOND DAY

Fundy wakes up in his base once more, evidently confused. We don’t really know why he wakes up in his base, and why the world changes every time he wakes up, but let’s just say this is all part of his dream to make sense out of it. This time, he sounds more broken, and definitely more unhinged. He calls out for any other member in the chat, telling them that whatever they’re doing is not funny. This is the first we see of Fundy believing that the others may actually just have been pulling a prank on him. He opens his chests frantically before venturing outside once more. He claims that he doesn’t believe the book, saying that this dream sequence feels pretty real to him. 

This time, Fundy puts a bigger emphasis on asking why he is alone, and why nobody seems to be here with him. Fundy seems to be more shaken up by the idea that he’s alone over the idea that he does not know anything about where he is at all. He approaches the van, and when he zooms in, he sees that Wilbur’s nametag disappeared. 

Transcript of this following scene:

“I knew you were there. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no- you can’t fool me! No, I knew you were there Wil. You were there, right there! Where did you go? Are you being- he’s being funny. This is funny! This is great. Aw, this is amazing- it’s just a prank! It’s April Fools soon- that’s why! Oh, I’m just being pranked… right?”

Now, this was… sad. This is one of the other statements that could have a double meaning. Fundy insisting that Wilbur is supposed to be there could not only be him comparing this day to the previous, but it could also imply his true feelings towards Wilbur, especially since he’s disappeared for a good portion of Fundy’s life. Fundy believes Wilbur is supposed to be there for him, but the reality is that he wasn’t. Instead of facing reality, Fundy concludes that all of this was a harmless joke instead of believing that Wilbur might have possibly left him.

Fundy attempts to enter the van once more, but his attempt doesn’t work. He then follows the path on the side directing to the ominous building only for him to realize that it has gotten closer.

The building getting closer to the main base actually has a lot of symbolism behind it. The building itself stores a lot of secrets, especially when it comes to the truths about this world and the different insecurities Fundy has repressed. Those writing the books have laid out all these secrets in every single book found in this building. The fact that it’s underground is meant to represent that these secrets are meant to be hidden in the depths of Fundy’s mind, but the fact that the building is getting closer to the main base makes it feel like 1.) the stored secrets about this world that Fundy may have forgotten about might finally seep into his consciousness, making him aware of them next time he wakes up, and 2.) the insecurities Fundy repressed deep down are seeping out more and more as it reaches the main core. Once it’s there, Fundy won’t be able to reject the truth about his abandonment issues any longer.

Fundy nears the building, still quite nervous. He opens the door, and the layout of the inside seems to be slightly similar to the previous day, but there are small details here and there that are different. Instead of 10 red carpets, there are 6, and instead of 8 yellow carpets, there are 6. Additionally, the skull seems to be closer, this time directly next to the table.

While the carpets were quite subtle, I do think it symbolizes a certain decrease of something. Red symbolizes the color for passion and love, while yellow is meant to represent happiness and positivity. Earlier, we saw that Wilbur disappeared from the Carmarvan, so the decrease of rugs for each color could represent Fundy’s love and happiness decreasing.

For the skull itself, I don’t know if I’m right, but this is what I infer from it: On the first day, we saw that Wilbur was still standing next to Fundy in the Camarvan as the first skull underground was still very far away. On the second day, when Wilbur was gone, the skull got closer, standing next to the table instead of it being far away. I theorize that if the skull is closer, then a canon death has already occurred in the time period the day wants to present. The first day presents a time where Wilbur was still taking care of Fundy, so Eret’s betrayal may not have happened yet, hence why the skull merely stayed hidden at the corner. On the second day, Wilbur has actively left Fundy, similar to the period after L’Manberg’s independence when Fundy had to partake in the Pet Wars alone. During that era, the betrayal has already happened, which is why I believe the skull is much closer this time. 

Continuing on, Fundy opens the book and begins reading. From this point onwards, I do want to go more in depth with each of the books, so I’ll put transcripts here and there with my thoughts added onto it after each transcript.

“Hi me!

Welcome back!

Yeahh, second time here? or third?

not entirely sure”

So, this is confirmation that this might not be the first time Fundy’s having dreams like this. A good question to ask is if the book was written a long time ago and has presented itself the same way it does right now, or if this book was written recently. I don’t think the stream gave a definitive answer, but it is something to keep in mind.

“Listen to me Fundy

and you should trust me because,

well you know why

There are two things you can do right now

Walk back to your base, jump in bed, fall asleep, and you will wake up as if nothing ever happened

Or you can keep reading…

And I will tell you what I know”

The book pauses for a bit then continues saying “You are not real” ten times, “You dont want to know the truth” fifteen times, and spams “WAKE UP” until the 38th page, a number we analyzed earlier because of the 38 baked potatoes. 

For the book itself, whoever is writing the book seems to be a bit hesitant when writing. It doesn’t seem to want to explain what this place truly is to Fundy, and as much as it clarifies that they are, indeed, Fundy, they never expound on how they were able to write these books and why Fundy should trust him. Other Fundy saying “you should trust me because, well you know why” is actually quite ominous, and I can only think of two reasons as to why they would say it: 1.) Other Fundy is implying that Fundy can trust him because he is, in fact, the same person, or 2.) Other Fundy is hinting that Fundy trusts too easily as seen with the people Fundy trusted in the real world.

Additionally, the Other Fundy seems to emphasize on the fact that they WANT Fundy to go to sleep and wake up in the overworld. They phrase it so that sleeping once more is the more logical option, while they basically scare Fundy with the other option, evident by his quickened heartbeat. The Other Fundy seems to know about the intricacies of this dream and its world, but seems to be very hesitant to tell Fundy about it. The continuous threats imply that the Other Fundy doesn’t want Fundy to know the truth at all.

Basically, this Other Fundy knows something, something our Fundy doesn’t know about, and wants to emphasize that it is something horrific. He will do whatever he can do so that he can stop Fundy from knowing the truth, even if it means he has to scare Fundy.

Additionally, to me, it feels like “WAKE UP” could possibly have two meanings. If the underground structure is meant to represent things that Fundy constantly represses to the back of his mind, not only would the secrets of his dream reside there, but his own repressed insecurities may reside there as well. The way Fundy treats the truth about his dreams is actually quite similar with the way he treats his insecurities- he tends to reject its existence and pretend that everything is normal. This dream isn’t just a dream, it’s an exploration of Fundy’s mind, and telling Fundy to “WAKE UP” doesn’t just refer to not knowing the truths about the dream, but it could also refer to Fundy not knowing the truths about his own insecurities hidden deep in the depths of his mind. 

vi. THIRD DAY

Fundy wakes up, breathing heavily. He paces around his room before opening the door frantically, seeing that he is still stuck in a desert. He begins to laugh, repetitively telling himself that all of this is a “joke”. He continues questioning why he’s still in this dream, and when he opens the door, he sees the ominous structure observably closer to the base. He claims that he’s actually stressing out, and Fundy goes on a tangent about this dream and reveals a bit about his insecurities:

“They’re toying with me, they’re toying with me. They’re actually- everyone is toying with me- they are ALWAYS TOYING WITH ME. Everyone is! I’m always being played with. Why? Why always me- no! Why does it always have to be me? Every single time. I don’t wanna- (sigh). I don’t wanna keep dealing with this- I just wanna- no- do I just… Do I just… Do I just go up here and listen to- wai- okay. The book said I have two options: I can wait here until it’s night time. Wait until the sun sets and I can go to sleep, and when I go to sleep and wake up, none of this is real. None of this is gonna- it’s gonna disappear. None of this is real, none of this is real, none… It’s not real, it’s not real, I am currently not real, this is no- how is this possible? How is this- wha- how did- how… None of this is real. I am not real. All I have to do is wait for midnight and just sleep, and all of this would end, right? All I have to do is… wait until night time and then… it’s all gonna be over, it’s all gonna be done. 

I just gotta sleep, and then, it’s gonna disappear. And then everyone is gonna appear out of a bush and they’re gonna be ‘Surprise!’ and I’m gonna be like, ‘You guys! You’re always pranking me… you’ve always been there for me (sniffs). Every single time… except sometimes… when I needed you the most. I just go to bed… I just go to bed, and then I wake up, and none of this ever happened. And we’re gonna go back to my old life where I have fun and join parties and join groups and only see them disappear in front of my eyes as I start to get attached to them. Y-yeah, that’s- that’s- that’s the choice I’m making. Go back to that... (sigh). Just… or you know…”

LOTS to unpack here, and I’ll go one by one explaining certain aspects of this because it’s not just something that showcases Fundy’s insecurities.

Firstly, interesting how Fundy believed that the book was toying with him like how a lot of other people do. That’s what makes him afraid of the book- the feeling of being pushed around. The book is actively trying to use Fundy’s insecurities against him in order to make him more and more afraid of the truth. This is interesting because Fundy is known to be ignorant towards his actual issues (just look at his monologue), but the Other Fundy seems to be acutely aware of them. I will explain why he is aware of them later on.

Secondly, this is the most observable point, Fundy seems to be aware that he is quite frankly, alone, but tends to ignore it. He copes with his abandonment issues by treating his abandonment like a joke. He believes that every single person who’s left him did it as a prank. Even if he laughs at this idea, he is also evidently hurt by it. It hits even harder when you realize that Fundy is quite the dependent character, often sucking up to any person who gives him recognition. If Fundy depends on others to dictate his self-worth, how do you think he thinks of himself right now when he literally has nobody?

Putting emphasis on Fundy’s loneliness is going to be interesting because I do think some characters in future arcs are going to exploit that. If Quackity is going to use and manipulate Fundy the same way Sam does, then there would be no doubt that he will use Fundy’s loneliness against him. Even if it’s not Quackity who approaches Fundy first- even Bad, Sam, Dream, anyone, really, could use Fundy’s loneliness against him, which will make for an interesting plot point.

Lastly, not a lot of people spotted this, but this monologue also gives us insight as to why Fundy continued looking for the truth about his dreams instead of staying in his base and waiting for night. When talking about what to look forward to once he wakes up, he talks about how much “fun” he is going to have. Slowly, you see his denial start to dwindle as he finally admits that people leave him just as he gets attached to them. As much as Fundy wanted to wake up from this horrific dream, he realizes that, once he wakes up, he has nothing to look forward to either. That’s why he hesitates when he says “Yeah, that’s the choice I’m making,” because he realizes waking up isn’t as ideal as it seems. This is why Fundy immediately goes outside afterwards with no hesitation- Fundy has nothing left to lose, hence why he chooses to venture forth. Fundy is driven to do things because he feels like his life is purposeless anyway.

Fundy then begins to head outside quietly, zooming into the ominous building while walking right towards it. He then detours for a moment, walking towards the right of the building, and approaches a giant crater filled with obsidian and blackstone.

The explosion could symbolize two things:

Any of the L’Manberg explosions. With the obsidian and blackstone combination, my guess is that this is either the first Doomsday event (L’Manbergian War of Independence) because of L’Manberg’s walls, or the November 16th War because of Schlatt’s Podium. Why the big amount of blackstone and obsidian? Well, I’m not so sure when it comes to L’Manberg as its walls didn’t have obsidian, but for the November 16th war, I do think that the abundance of blackstone and obsidian is meant to represent how Fundy is reducing the November 16th war to Schlatt’s Podium. This can be alarming as he was the one who made Schlatt’s Podium, so reducing the war to that one building might symbolize that he blames himself for the war.

Another theory, which is the theory I subscribe to more, is that this is actually depicting an event in the future that we haven’t seen yet. Namely, the prison. If you zoom in on the explosion, the block pattern is quite reminiscent of the block pattern present in the prison.

While I’ll mostly discuss Fundy’s future predicting powers later, I do think that there’s a possibility that Fundy saw a vision of the future, unlike the past two days where he saw visions of the past. The prison might possibly be nuked in the future.

Fundy then proceeds to walk back towards the building, repetitively saying “no”. He claims he needs to find out, sounding more determined than before. For this, even if the explosion could represent many things, I do think Fundy is generally reminded of the explosions he had to witness throughout the history of the Dream SMP. Perhaps he believes that finding out the truth could prevent more explosions from occurring, perhaps he figured out that this was the prison and he needed to know why it exploded, perhaps him walking away from something that’s reminiscent of real life represents his choice of wanting to learn more about his dreams rather than sticking to anything similar to real life. 

Moving on, Fundy enters the building, saying he wants to know what’s going on. The underground room seems to have changed a bit, as the chiseled quartz floors changed into quartz bricks. The place also seems to be littered with end stone blocks and bricks. The place is much darker as well, and the carpets on the floor and table seem to be gone entirely. Two skulls can be observed near the table.

My brain actually can’t reason as to why the end blocks were there, or why the quartz blocks changed. My guess is that the end stones will eventually connect to a future plot point relating to the End, but again, I’m not sure. The carpets being gone could represent that the love and happiness (red and yellow) that Fundy had disappeared completely. The dishevelled state of the room could represent that the secrets being held inside this underground room are finally breaking free as its confines tear down more and more. 

Now the skulls- if we go by the theory I presented earlier, then the skulls are meant to represent canon deaths. If the skull was tucked into the corner, then that means death is to come, but if it’s near the table, then I believe the canon death already occurred. If two skulls are next to the table, then it could imply that whatever time period the day is set in should be around the time Fundy loses a second canon death, which hasn’t occurred yet. Again, this is all speculation, so I might be overthinking, but if the explosion is meant to represent the prison getting nuked, then there’s a possibility Fundy would lose a canon life before the prison gets destroyed.

Now, onto the juicy bit: the book. The book reads as follows:

“Hi. again.

...Why are we so persistent

...Why are we so stubborn

...You have been here before, but you keep coming back

...Why?

WHY???

You dont want to know the truth

It will hurt you

I dont want to be hurt again

YOU dont want to be hurt again

I KNOW WHAT YOU WANT

PLEASE JUST LEAVE

GO TO BED

FALL ASLEEP

ENJOY YOUR LIFE

ENJOY THE FUN THINGS

THE TRUTH ISNT WHAT YOU WANT

PLEASE

STOP THIS

STOP!!!”

The book tries scaring Fundy by spamming “WAKE UP” across multiple pages.

“It’s not going to work, huh..

Listen to me Fundy…

Your mind is not safe…

You are not imagining this…

This place might not be real…

But he is.

Spare yourself.

I need you to listen carefully.

Do not join him.

Whatever he asks of you.

Do NOT join him.

his plans aren’t as nice as they sound.

his intentions aren’t what you think they are.

he will use you

he will destroy you

everything you ever loved

everyone you ever cared about

do not join him.”

Before I explain this book, I think it’s best to also note down what was said in the next book as well so I can better explain what’s going on.

“note to self

hello

I just wrote this book to remember who I am

To remember what is happening

All the books I just found are indeed written by me

Listen to yourself

You suffer from a very odd illness

You suffer from a form of insomnia, within your own dreams.

Now the effects of this aren’t really known, and even I don’t fully know what is going on.

but let me tell you

somehow, this world, these actions and events, are linked to reality.

things that happen in these so-called “dreams”, tend to leak into the real world

they will actually happen.

you might wonder how exactly this is a bad thing.

the ability to predict certain events from happening, sounds pretty cool.”

Fundy then stops reading the book, seemingly overwhelmed by the influx of information. Analysis time, boys, time to unpack what this all means.

Firstly, I believe that this dream has happened before. Multiple times, actually. If certain “events” in the dream are meant to predict the future, then the moments involving the Camarvan on the first two days could imply that Fundy has seen this place before during the L’Manberg era where he could’ve predicted Eret’s betrayal and the loss of his father. If we think about it, the books could honestly be given to Fundy at any time period and it would work. Look at the entire section of the book describing someone who Fundy can’t trust- this “him” person could honestly be… anyone who abandoned Fundy? If the book hints at someone who might possibly hurt and use Fundy, then Eret, Wilbur, Schlatt, and Dream could also be considered. These people were nice to Fundy at first before betraying him one way or another. There is a possibility that this dream has warned Fundy about these people in the past, only for Fundy to forget about the dream. What about this time though, who is this “him” that’s going to betray Fundy during this time period? Well, the easy answer would be Quackity, but Bad could be a possibility as well. With the hint towards Quackity at the end, I do believe that Quackity would be the main suspect, but it’s also good to keep an open mind as we don’t know much of who Fundy’s involved with in Season 3.

Now, why would Fundy be able to forget about the dreams, though? I do think that whoever is responsible for writing the books are doing their best to prevent Fundy from uncovering the truth. Who do I think are the book authors? Well, I don’t think they were lying when they said that they were Fundy. I believe that, just like the Dream voice in Ranboo’s head, the Fundy that writes books would be some sort of conscience or subconscious in Fundy’s mind. This part of the mind holds certain memories repressed by Fundy, as well as some of the insecurities he chooses to ignore. They are aware of all of Fundy’s past visits of this dream, and they know the dangers of it, which is why they want Fundy to not uncover the truth. 

The signed book claims that whatever Fundy sees in the dream will seep out into reality. Knowing this, I believe Fundy’s subconscious is trying to prevent Fundy from seeking out the truth to prevent these future visions from happening in real life; this especially applies to events that involve Fundy possibly being hurt. There is a possibility that this Fundy has seen past Fundy’s discover events like the Camarvan and the loss of Wilbur occur in dreams way past before it occurred in real life, so they feel afraid that our Fundy would uncover more and more truths that would become reality. While we don’t know if Other Fundy’s beliefs on future predicting is true, this gives us a better understanding of why they want Fundy to go to bed and wake up. (Additionally, the Other Fundy has placed emphasis on saying that the truth may hurt Fundy, so there is a possibility that these future events might involve something that heightens Fundy’s insecurities more. That’s why this Fundy seems to be so aware of Fundy’s insecurities- they have witnessed Fundy’s insecurities being used against him in certain visions.)

For the memory thing, so far, I believe a part of Fundy’s mind is actively suppressing all the memories Fundy has of his dreams. Fundy already represses a lot of his insecurities, so using Fundy’s insecurities against him might actually enable them to keep Fundy’s memories about the dream locked in the corners of his mind. The place where the book is kept in is underground, after all, but we do have to keep in mind that the building is getting closer and closer to Fundy’s main base. This could symbolize that Fundy will remember his dreams more once he wakes up.

So basically, so far, Fundy has dreamt this dream multiple times in the past, and during each dream, he witnesses an event in the future that could possibly happen in real life. Fundy’s subconscious, or possibly past versions of Fundy, are trying to warn future Fundy’s to not uncover too many truths about the dream as they believe this could possibly manifest terrible events to happen in real life. To get Fundy to go back to bed, they try scaring Fundy, using his insecurities against him, only this time, Fundy is a bit more disobedient because, again, he feels like he has nothing left to lose. 

Another theory I have which I’m not 100% sure about is that this Other Fundy, as much as it has good intentions, may have committed a mistake when they tried to get Fundy to bed by using his insecurities. If anything in the dream may happen in real life, them heightening Fundy’s insecurities might pass over to the real world as well. While scaring Fundy could prevent him from uncovering the truth, it might’ve also been a double-edged sword as Fundy is more aware of his insecurities more than ever.

Continuing on, Fundy decided to leave the building, seeing that it’s night time. He sounds relieved knowing that he can sleep and that he can wake up from this dream. He celebrates for a moment, throwing the book away, but then he hesitates, saying he wants to know the truth. He picks the book up again but doesn’t read it immediately, claiming that he could just sleep instead of knowing the truth.

Fundy seems to revel in the idea of waking up for a bit until he mentions how much of a “blast” he can have with everyone once he wakes up. After mentioning this, he immediately picks up the book with no hesitation. This is the second time Fundy is shown to be motivated in finding the truth about his dreams because of him realizing how unfun the real world is. Again, Fundy is seen to be motivated by the fact that he has nothing left to lose, and as much as he is scared of this dream, he seems to prefer finding this world’s truth over going back into the real world where he’s practically alone.

Moving on, the book continues:

“however…

while this might be the case of dreams…

this is also the case for nightmares…

this is your last warning Fundy

please… for the both of us…

just wake up”

This part of the book simply affirms all I’ve theorized about earlier. The Other Fundy hints that some events that Fundy might witness in his dream would be detrimental to Fundy, which is why he doesn’t want Fundy to continue exploring. He knows that Fundy will possibly manifest an event that will ruin him in real life, so he wants Fundy to sleep instead of accidentally manifesting his demise.

vii. FOURTH DAY

Fundy then wakes up once more, complaining that this dream never ends. He goes outside, seeing a black, hooded figure slowly turn around and chase him. With a quickened heartbeat, he runs up his stairs to sleep in a black bed placed on the roof. Fundy screams as we see the hooded figure approach, and the screen fades to black. A white smiley face reminiscent of the one on Quackity’s skin appears on the screen as casino slots sound effects play in the background.

Now, what do I make of this? Well, firstly, we gotta point out that his bed at the end looked EERILY similar to a gravestone. A lot of websites claim that sleeping in a gravestone or seeing a gravestone could indicate change, especially when it comes to overcoming one’s sadness or problems. In a literal sense, we can think of it as something foreshadowing a future canon death, especially if we think that the person chasing Fundy is the grim reaper.

Speaking of that person, I do have a couple of explanations as to who this person is:

The person is death themselves, the grim reaper. This is the common conclusion everyone believes in, especially when we consider this “him” person possibly hurting Fundy, and that second skull in the underground room. Quackity is the main culprit for now, especially with that smiley face in the end, but there could be other possibilities! Like, what if someone takes Fundy’s canon life before he joins Quackity, which is why the smiley face only popped up after Fundy’s dream death? Mayhaps someone affiliated with Quackity might be doing the dirty work for him, so Bad, Sam, Dream, and anyone, really, could be responsible for Fundy’s future canon death. Moreover, the fact that this death occurs affirms the beliefs of the Other Fundy. The Other Fundy merely wants Fundy to be safe from possibly manifesting his demise in real life, but Fundy’s curiosity got the best of him, and in the next sequence, he was killed, proving that the Other Fundy was right in saying that Fundy should’ve just slept.

A theory I made up which I’m not 100% sure of is that this figure is actually Fundy’s subconscious trying to get him to sleep. When Fundy was being chased, we heard a quickened heartbeat, and where was the only other time we heard that? When Fundy was reading the “WAKE UP” and “you’re not real” messages from those books. We can view this as the Other Fundy’s attempt in trying to get Fundy to actually sleep by using another scare tactic against Fundy. And well… it did work! Because Fundy was afraid of this figure, Fundy went to sleep. There is also a possibility that this occurrence is what makes Fundy forget about the dream because his subconscious got a hold of Fundy and forcibly made him forget, but I’m not 100% sure about that one yet.

Lastly, the face! That should already allude to Fundy possibly joining Quackity’s lore, and with the “38 potatoes” symbolizing business opportunities, I expect Fundy to be joining Las Nevadas as a possible employee. Quackity does, in fact, prey on people who are insecure, and can easily get them to do whatever he wants because of his words. If he can get Sam to give him the tools needed to torture Dream, Quackity might exploit Fundy’s loneliness into making him do whatever Quackity wants from him. 

Another face that this could possibly connect to is the face in the Egg lair! While I’m leaning more towards Quackity because of the casino sounds, I do wanna say that the Egg and the Eggpire could possibly be connected as well, especially when the Egg could provide Fundy anything he wants. Just like how Quackity could prey on Fundy’s insecurities, the Egg preys on those who feel like they’re missing something, so as much as Fundy could be manipulated by Quackity, he could also be manipulated by the Egg. Additionally, business opportunities could apply to the Eggpire as well as they’ve contacted Purpled in the past to assassinate Puffy, so who’s to say they won’t try adding Fundy to the Eggpire?

TLDR; This entire stream showcased both Fundy’s insecurities and Fundy’s future predicting powers and how this “Other Fundy”, aka his subconscious, wants him to repress them because they believe that if Fundy uncovers the secrets of his dream more, then Fundy would accidentally manifest his demise in real life. Additionally, Fundy is very lonely, making him vulnerable of being used in the future because he is desperate to get any type of recognition from anybody. In summary, be afraid of Fundy’s future lore streams, be very afraid.

viii. ADDITIONAL NOTES

Even when I finish this, there’s a lot of questions to ask about this stream that I want you to keep in mind:

How many times has Fundy encountered this before?

How does Fundy forget all the information he got from the dreams?

How does Fundy write to himself?

Why is there so many details connected to Karl, and what does it have to do with time travelling?

Why does Fundy return to his bed every time his heartbeat quickens when reading a book?

Was the first scene part of the dream or not?

Could the underground room’s structure actually mean something?

And there’s probably more, but just saying, keep an open mind about this entire stream because there’s definitely a lot more to uncover.

I want to reiterate: I am not the Messiah, so don’t take my word as the truth and the absolute truth. I’d love to hear your thoughts about Fundy’s stream as a lot of it could be up for speculation! The entire thing is filled to the brim with symbolisms, so there could be a lot of interpretations to consider. If you enjoyed this, feel free to like and retweet because I worked my ASS off with this one. 

Special thanks to the following:

Fundy and any of the Dream SMP members because that stream was INCREDIBLE. Go give them your love and support.

kingjem for always being there whenever I want to discuss any ideas I have about the Dream SMP. One of the smartest bitches I know, go follow them.

To all my betas who reviewed this document since I have a TON of grammar mistakes (thanks English): prismartist, bootsforthebootsgod, Finni_june (twt), ender-hyperfocuses-on-things, and Dngertosociety2 (twt)

And to all of you who like this post and would share it to other people! All support is appreciated. :D

[fortunatelylori]

I love reading your thoughtful posts! I was wondering if you thought there was any significance in the story Cat told Talisa about Jon being sick and the promise made then broke after he recovered especially since this was not in the books. Could this be foreshadowing of maybe Sansa being by Jon's bedside after being injured in the upcoming war and what he might become after? Thank you!

Hey, nonnie!

Thank you so much for the kind words! I’m glad you like my posts. I’m certainly having a great time writing them. :)

Your question is very interesting. I do think there’s room for a foreshadowing interpretation for it but it doesn’t necessarily need to be linked to Sansa taking care of Jon when he’s injured. 

“Taking care of the injured hero” is a well-established romantic trope, one D&D have already subverted with Jon and D*ny because while he is injured after the wight hunt and she’s sited on his bed when he wakes up, she never actually takes care of him. She also breaches his personal space uninvited, bringing to mind more of a sexual harassment vibe than a romantic, nurturing one. If anything, if Sansa ends up taking care of Jon after he’s injured in the War of the Dawn, I see it as more of a direct foil to how the Jon/D*ny scene was constructed. 

Could they also add a bit of Catelyn in there, with Sansa praying for Jon to be saved through the night? Sure. They could do that and my shipping heart would swoon, if they did. It would fit with the whole Sansa/Catelyn parallel as well as be a nice way of seeing Sansa embrace the Faith of the Seven again, an aspect that was very important to her and that gave her great strength during the Battle of the Blackwater only for the heartbreak of Robb and Catelyn’s death to strip it from her. It would be a really nice way for her to heal that emotional loss, if that makes sense. 

Will they do that? I don’t know … It really depends on how the narrative develops and also how other aspects pan out. For example, during the actual War of the Dawn, Sansa might be in King’s Landing as Cersei’s hostage, if the kidnapping theory proves true. So, as with any artistic choice, it all depends on what direction the creators want to take. I’ve talked a bit about just how many romantic tropes are sprinkled through out Jonsa scenes so that’s one of the major reasons why I think it’s very plausible to see a Sansa taking care of Jon trope as well. 

On another note, I have to say that I know a lot Catelyn fans didn’t like this scene and thought it was an injustice to Catelyn’s character. While I don’t dismiss their feelings on the subject, personally it’s my absolute favorite Catelyn scene (it’s battling the Red Wedding scene really but at the moment, I like it more) and I loved Michelle Fairly’s acting in it. I think it added such an interesting and complex layer to the Cat/Jon dynamic. 

Cat is by far the most positive and nurturing mother figure in this story. She is capable of great love and care when it comes to her children which is such an amazing thing to see, particularly in a show where parents disappoint and hurt their children over and over again. Cat never does that with any of the Stark kids: she supports Robb and even understands that she must keep from mothering him once he starts his campaign, she is the only one who constantly thinks about Arya and Sansa and wants to do everything she can to save them, she sits by Bran’s side for days on end, in a state of sheer desperation. She mourns Bran and Rickon when she believes them dead as only a true mother would. And she’s willing to give herself to the Freys to spare Robb’s life. 

She’s the perfect mother … with only one glaring exception: Jon. When it comes to Jon, she completely fails. I’ve always felt that the reason for her animosity towards Jon isn’t just about the Blackfyers and the dangers bastards pose to true born children, but that it’s also a way of getting back at Ned, with the only means available to her. 

Despite him being a good man, Ned is still the Lord of Winterfell, the ultimate authority on what goes on in the household and the family and he wasn’t above using that clout to stifle Cat’s understandable anger when he brought Jon home. He never gave her an explanation, he never talked about it and made it clear that it was a subject Cat was not allowed to touch on. That has to be a tremendous blow and being forced to accept it for years on end, I think made Cat that much more bitter. The issue is, of course, that she can’t directly oppose Ned. If Cat wants to have a good, happy life, she must swallow the bitter pill and get along with her husband. There’s an interesting parallel to be drawn here between Cat accepting Ned’s decision and loving him in spite of it and Sansa trying her level best to blame anyone else for the Trident incident except Joffrey. 

As Ned, himself, put it: 

Joffrey is going to be her husband. She can’t go against him. 

Well, he’d know about that, wouldn’t he? 

So just like Sansa couldn’t go against Joffrey, Cat can’t really go against Ned. So the only person she can truly take her frustrations out on and punish Ned in the process, is Jon. This is one of the things that really bothers me about the: Catelyn didn’t owe Jon anything argument. It’s a false argument because, in truth, it isn’t about owing Jon something, it’s about being fair. And Cat never is when it comes to him. She hurts and traumatizes him, anyway you want to slice it. It doesn’t make her a monster, of course, but that amount of vitriol directed at you for no fault of your own is bound to haunt you for a long time and that’s certainly the case for Jon. 

Which is why I loved that Cat/Talisa scene so much. Because it shows another new, hidden layer to the Cat/Jon dynamic that you wouldn’t have assumed. The tragic truth is that, at least in showCat’s case, she did try to love Jon, she even swore to ask Ned to legalize him and yet, she found that she was simply incapable of doing it. And it’s something that haunts her, something she uses to punish herself now that she thinks two of her children are dead and she’s ashamed that she swore a sacred vow and failed to live up to it. For a person who values duty and honor as much as she does, that’s definitely something that would weigh very heavily. And I found it fascinating, sad and compelling at the same time. 

In terms of foreshadowing, I’ll leave you with this: 

Cat: Let the boy live!

Talisa: And he lived?

Cat: And he lived. 

Not only did Jon survive his childhood fever. He survived death itself. Catelyn must have some really powerful connections among the Seven! 

[jinkisbelly]

Wildest Dreams 3/?

Pairing: Onkey

Raiting: idk pg-13 for kissing in a pool 

w/c:4.6k, altogether so far 18.9k

Summary: Prince Kibum of the Kingdom of Joesan is saved by a mysterious, young swordsman who becomes a lot more than just his personal guard.

Part 1,   Part 2  Ao3    AFF

          It took weeks for everyone that was visiting for the party to leave and return to their own homes. It was only then that Kibum gave into his incapability to sleep and roamed the Castle in the stillness of the night. His attempt to get out of bed without Jinki noticing failed. The moment his legs moved against the silk of his sheets, Jinki’s attention was moved from the balcony doors he was looking through. Noticing he was awake and sitting up on the edge of his bed, Jinki quietly asked as he stepped closer. “Are you alright, Kibum?”

          “I am having trouble sleeping.”

          “Oh,” Jinki pursed his lips for a moment, “Do you want me to send for something from the kitchens?”

          Slipping on his boots he shook his head, before turning enough to look at Jinki. “If I say I wish to go for a walk are you going to stop me?”

          “Depends on if you try to lose me in the process.”

          “Oh, never. I like your company.”

          “That’s very good to hear.” Jinki held up a thick robe for Kibum to wiggle his arms into before it was laid against his shoulders. “Lead the way.”

          The halls almost echoed as he moved through them. He knew Jinki was just a few steps behind him even with the silence of his footsteps. Soon the looming archway that led into the main courtyard came into view and they no longer needed the light from the candle in their lanterns.

          “It’s so beautiful out,” Kibum softly exclaimed, head moving quickly as he took in how the moonlight fell on the rich gardens of the main courtyard. “So quiet as well. I’ve never experienced the castle so still before.”

          Jinki had stopped walking a few paces behind him. His eyes were closed as he took the light of the moon across his skin. He didn’t notice the Prince gazing at him until he opened his eyes again. His head was gently cocked to the side, curious. “Is something wrong, My Prince?”

          “I haven’t seen you so relaxed.” He replied quietly, giving a small smile. “You’re softer here in the gardens.”

          “It’s the stillness. My senses can take a rest from all the constant stimulants.” He folded his hands in front of his belt with a kind smile. “My mind is quiet, so I am relaxed.”

          “It fits you.” Kibum panicked a little when Jinki’s eyebrow raised, flustered slightly. “I mean, you’re always so focused and vigilant. It’s a nice look on you, for you I mean, to be relaxed like this.”

          “Uh huh.” The corner of Jinki’s lips quirked up. His fingers flexed a little at his belt. “Are you alright, Kibum? You look flushed.”

          “Oh, just fine.” He turned away from him, swallowing thickly as over and over in his thoughts he mumbled ‘stupid just stupid’. The fountain’s edge was cool against his palms as he carefully sat upon it. He was running his fingers through the almost cold water when he glanced back at Jinki. “Thank you for following me down here.”

          The laughter flowing from Jinki’s lips was soft and warm, causing Kibum to freeze his hand movement in the pool of water. Jinki was smiling fondly at him, his amusement dripping off of him in waves, but his eyes showed how tired he really was. “I go wherever you go Kibum.”

          Seeing Jinki move about the gardens, pulling his glove from his right hand to be able to touch the softness of the flower petals and the cool dew on the leaves, Kibum felt his immoral feelings toward the man bubble into his chest. It was getting harder to ignore them with how frequently they slipped through his defenses. Thinking about the way Jinki’s hand felt clasped on his shoulder, the carefree smile he had when he laughed, the way he calmed down over a cup of tea, and the look in his eyes when they sparred. A few strands of hair falling on his forehead, blowing in the soft breeze, made Kibum remember the way he gathered the dark hair from his neck so carefully to put it back up one late night. Remembering the way Jinki’s fingers moved across his neck to catch escaping strands. He forced himself to look away from Jinki, swallowing thickly as he tried to push the feelings away. If he came clean, he knew he could very well ruin the state of their relationship, this friendship, completely. The daydreams of all the positive possibilities confessing his secret love for his friend stopped him from ignoring that option entirely. He knew Jinki favored men, knew he had felt attraction toward his fellow men, but even knowing Jinki wouldn’t react as if disgusted made the next words out of Kibum’s mouth difficult. “Will you come to sit with me?”

          Concern flashed over Jinki’s features, his hand slowly falling from the flower he was reaching up to bring closer to smell. He made his way over gracefully, each footstep silent as he did so, before sitting almost delicately on the fountain’s edge next to him. Their hands would touch if both of them were laid against the stone between them. “You seem bothered by something. Do you wish to return to your rooms?”

          “No, no, I’m fine here.” He waved his hand softly before it fell into his lap. He twisted his fingers nervously. “Something is clouding my thoughts, however.”

          “Anything I can help with?”

          “Actually,” Kibum laughed a little, “All of it really.”

          “Oh?” Jinki breathed out softly, voice quiet with how close they were.

          “In the last two years, we’ve learned a lot about each other, haven’t we?” When Jinki slowly nodded, Kibum continued. “I have been thinking things, immoral things, about you for some time. I’ve tried to block them out, convince myself that they were just passing thoughts, like a feather on the breeze, but they kept coming back even stronger.”

          “I’m not quite sure I understand, Kibum.”

          “Do you remember our conversation on whether you’ve bed a woman?”

          “Quite.” Jinki was staring intently at him, probably trying to figure out what foolishness was actually coming from his mouth.

          “Well, I lied when I told you I didn’t understand what you meant by having an eye for your fellow man.” Kibum bit his bottom lip, eyes falling from Jinki’s face before fluttering close. “I lied because I keep looking at you the way someone such as I should look at a woman.”

          “Kibum…”

          With a shuddering breath, Kibum’s eyes opened, but he stared out at the trees before him, too scared to see the way his friend was looking at him then. Just the soft gasp of his voice was enough to break his heart a little. “And it’s quite more than that I’ve recently realized. I want to hold your hand just, or even more than I wish to kiss your fingers, to feel the roughness of them from all your sword work. I find myself wondering what it’d be like to kiss you, to hold you close, to court you as one would someone they’re involved with. To hear you say you love me as I do you. Because I do Jinki, love you that is.” Kibum licked his lips, nerves shot by that point. Silence fell then, just the rustling of the plant life around them and the trickle of the fountain behind them. Against his better judgement, he turned to look at him as he pleaded. “Please say something Jinki.”

          “I-” He huffed, licking his lips nervously. “I am not worth your love Kibum.”

          “What?” He had expected a kind, yet sweet, dismissal. Maybe even a mumbled, but we can’t.

          “I am not someone you should love.”

          “If you do not feel the same as me, or find me offensive, say so instead of these foolish excuses.” Except, all anger melted from his voice when Jinki lowered, hunched over his lap. Jinki was always tall in structure, never slouching at all, and seeing him bent so heavily on his knees concerned Kibum greatly. “Hey, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean..”

          When Jinki spoke his voice was so soft, each word sounding strained and almost forced. “I told you about my father and my mother. People who love me end up hurt. They die.” He glanced over then, through his falling strands of hair, and Kibum’s heart ached seeing how pink and glossy his eyes were. “I will not allow you to be hurt because of me.”

          “Loving you is not what caused their deaths.” He reached over to grip his arm softly, “People are disgusting creatures. They killed your parents. Not you.”

          As Jinki straightened again there was a sad, almost mocking, smile upon his lips. “I never told you they were killed because of me, who I am. I’m a mutt.” He rose his hands slowly. As his fingers rested against the black cloth he wore around his ears he paused for a moment, as if contemplating if he really wanted to go through with it, but then he was untying it under his braid and the cloth was laid across his palms as he rested his hands in his lap. A shimmer moved across his face as he turned completely toward him. “I lied to you about who I was. I did it to protect myself as my mother requested of me, but I must confess. My mother was a human. The daughter of the baker in the human town close to my father’s farm in the Elven lands. My Father was a dark elf.  Having me, keeping me, was proof of their immoral relationship. I got these scars when I was eleven from the man who was supposed to be my maternal grandfather. My parents were killed protecting me.”

          “Oh, Jinki.” Kibum breathed out, a hand lifting to cover his lips briefly.

          Jinki shook his head, laughing at himself pitifully. “Don’t look at me like that. I look at myself that way more than enough.”

          “You are beautiful Jinki.” When the man tried to move away, Kibum gripped his arm, moving to kneel before him. His hands rested softly on Jinki’s thighs, a gentle smile on his face as he gazed up at him. “I’ve always believed you to be gorgeous. The way you move, how you form your words when you speak, and even how your hair always falls into our eyes. I think the most beautiful I’ve ever seen you is here before me now.”

          “Kibum, please, don’t pity me.”

          “I love you.” He found his hand curling around Jinki’s, feeling the warmth of them as he tried with all his might to make the man believe those three words. Jinki’s walls were crumbling, his resistance scattering. Kibum’s gaze flicked over to the soft, pink, ragged scars. Four lines curving from his right cheekbone down his jaw and his neck slightly. “May I touch them?”

          Jinki’s eyes widened for a moment before he softened, “Yes.”

          When Kibum’s fingers brushed against the scars, they were warm and soft, almost as much as his gaze was. There was no malice in his expression, no disgust. It reminded Jinki of the way Kibum looked at the stars at the night, fond and almost amazed. “My feelings for you, whether or not you return them to me Jinki, haven’t suddenly gone away because of this. You opened up expecting me to be repulsed, but I am not. I want you to feel safe here. No one will harm you because of who you are. If they try, it’s because they want to harm me.”

          “I did expect you to be repulsed.” Jinki quietly confessed as he laid his hand over Kibum’s still touching his cheek. He shifted a little to press a kiss to his palm as he returned the words. “I love you too, Kibum.”

          His breathing hiccuped then, as he cupped Jinki’s other cheek, pushing up to kiss him on the lips. It was sweet, and chaste, if only for a moment. They parted slowly, searching each other’s gaze for some sign of doubt. When finding none, it was Jinki who pressed deeper, opening the kiss to more warmth and feeling. Their kiss was interrupted by the changing of the guard then, Jinki grabbing his wrist and tugging him from the open view of the fountain. His right arm was tight around him, pulling him so their bodies were aligned as they hid behind the line of oak trees. His other hand was lifted, a single finger against his lips, as his eyes seemingly said, be quiet.

          It was when the courtyard was once again clear did it feel as if they could breathe, both beginning to laugh at the circumstance. The laughter was cut off by a simple glance. They were still pressed together, Jinki’s arm wrapped around his waist, and neither had any self-preservation to prevent them from kissing again. Kibum’s fingers curled around the back of Jinki’s neck, feeling how the young man’s grip tightened on his back. Soon though, they parted, with an unspoken promise for more as they walked back to Kibum’s rooms. Before Jinki left he pressed a sweet kiss to Kibum’s lips, smiling with a soft, “Good night, My Prince.” Before slipping through the door. Leaving Kibum with his heart beating fast and his mind floating above the clouds.

----

          Jinki tapped his foot impatiently, arms crossed over his chest as he stared at the closed door he was ordered to not enter yet. He wasn’t sure what Kibum was doing inside of his rooms, but whatever it was didn’t negate Jinki’s duty to be there to protect him through it. He had a feeling Kibum had been keeping him away all day. Ever since their sword lesson, Kibum had made it very clear he had no intention of returning to his chambers yet, which was extremely odd. Then, finally, when they did Kibum had ordered Jinki to wait out here. Not taking any complaints or opinions before shutting the door in his face. That was really not the way you treated someone you supposedly loved and kissed a few nights prior, or anyone really.

          “What do you think he’s doing in there?” Jinki slowly turned toward the voice to find one of the patrol guards.

          “No clue.”

          “Maybe he’s entertaining a girl.”

          Jinki hummed quietly, tapping his fingers on his arms as he kept them still crossed across his chest. “I doubt that greatly. I’d know if there was anyone in there with him.”

          “Maybe.”

          He returned to gaze at the closed door across the hallway from him as he quietly quipped. “Don’t you have a patrol route to finish?”

          “Of course, Sir.”

          Just as the man had turned the far left corner the door opened. Kibum was standing in the opening with the biggest smile on his face. Jinki rose his eyebrow, slowly pushing from the wall to take careful steps toward him. “And what have you been doing, Your Highness?”

          “Oh, this and that.” He stepped aside with a wave of his arm. “Come in and see.”

          Jinki’s eyes were closed as he walked into the room, “This is highly unorthodox and against protocol. What really-” His voice stopped completely as soon as he opened his eyes and saw the spread on the main table straight up the middle of the room. He whipped around to find Kibum, the question on his lips as he moved. “What is this?”

          There were candles lit down the length of the table. There were various plates of food on either side of the candles, but only two place sets laid out. “I don’t know what your people do for people they are with but I recall reading somewhere this is the type of thing you do when you’re courting someone and um I did this for you.”

          Kibum was rocking back and forth on his feet, wringing his fingers in front of him and his bottom lip was pulled through his teeth as he softly chewed on it. Jinki took the few steps and pressed a gentle kiss to his cheek. “It’s very sweet. Thank you.”

          “I was worried you would be angry with me for making you wait out there.” Kibum quietly said as he pulled Jinki’s chair out for him.

          “I was concerned, but far more curious.” Jinki sweetly smiled as he took a closer look at the food on the table. “What did you tell the kitchens to get all this up here?”

          “Oh, that I was practicing for entertaining visiting diplomats.”

          “And they accepted that?”

          Kibum shrugged, but there was a slightly goofy smile on his face. “It worked didn’t it?”

          “That it did.” The juice was poured into his glass carefully as he wiggled a little to get his chair where he wanted it to be. Once happy with the placement, he took the filled glass until it was almost to his lips, looking at Kibum drinking his own over the rim. “And my people give wooden pendants they’ve carved to the people they’re courting.”

          Jinki laughed quietly when Kibum choked a little on his juice. “But you - the pendant wasn’t... We didn’t yet.”

          “No, but it meant something to me and I wanted you to have it.”

          “Does it…did you mean it to mean that?”

          “I did. Does.”

          “And if I hadn’t said anything, you would have just let me wear it all the time without knowing the meaning of it?”

          “I suppose I would have told you what it meant eventually.” There was just a slight curve at the corners of his lips as he cut the meat from the roasted chicken before them. He glanced over quickly to scope out Kibum’s features before returning to cutting. “You seem bewildered.”

          “I was thinking about what would have been if I never said anything.” Kibum ran his tongue over his bottom lip quickly, “You’d have spent the rest of your time guarding me looking at the pendant knowing what you meant by it. Whoa, okay that’s sad. Let’s forget that.”

          “Alright.” Jinki chuckled before reaching to grab Kibum’s hand, giving it a soft squeeze. “Things are just beginning and nothing is set in stone. I just want to enjoy the time I have with you like this.”

          “We don’t want this food to get cold, either.” Jinki pressed a warm kiss to his knuckles before letting the hand go.

-----

          They made a point to sit on Kibum’s balcony after retiring to his rooms from dinner, usually Jinki leaning back between his legs, staring out as the sun fully set over the sea in the distant horizon. However, today was one of Jinki’s off days where he could do whatever he pleased. Kibum was very surprised to see him standing outside the door when he opened it late that morning. He blinked for a moment before stepping aside to let him in, closing the door and locking it numbly. He shook his head as he worked through it all. “What are you doing here?”

          “I was wondering if you’d be up for a little mm rebellious act.”

          “Are you asking me to break the law, Jinki?” Kibum rose his brows as he stepped behind the chair across from Jinki, fingers curling around the back of it.

          “Vaguely.” The grin on his face was so pretty Kibum couldn’t find himself able to hold up the rouse of saying no. “Just… put these on and trust me.”

          Kibum caught the clothes tossed at him, looking through them quickly before turning toward his bedroom to change, the question on his tongue but remaining unasked. Once changed, he glanced into the mirror along the far wall. The clothes were nicely made, but simple. A light tan pant and a white shirt, tight around his forearms, but loose over his upper arms and shoulders. He vaguely looked like a pirate and he wasn’t sure how he felt about that. When he stepped from his room Jinki dropped his riding boots on floor in front of him. “These too?”

          “Trust me.” And he did, so he left it alone as he pulled on his boots. He was given a simple sword to put on his belt before Jinki grabbed his wrist with a bright smile. He pulled Kibum over to the large painting on the wall, pushing the corner to make it slide open revealing a dark passageway. Jinki looked back at him, smile still bright on his face as he asked, “What didn’t know you had secret passageways?”

          “No.” Kibum huffed. “I didn’t. How did you know?”

          It was then he realized Jinki had taken off the wrap he usually had on his head, his ears clearly visible as they wiggled. “Better spatial ability. Let’s go.”

          Jinki had his hand out, palm up as it glowed softly. Could he always do that? “Could you always do that?”

          “Watch your step here.” Jinki quietly warned before answering. “And yeah.”

          “Do you have other mystic powers?”

          “A few yes.” Jinki stopped then, letting go of his hand for a moment to slide the barrier before them slightly. He put a finger to his lips as he kneeled to peer through the small crack. Then he was quickly taking his hand, their fingers intertwining as he tugged him through the opening. Kibum looked back for a moment to see a large tapestry in the south hallway leading from the grand dining room. Then he was tugged around a corner and out into the back lawn toward the stables before he could look more.

          Noticing that the stables were empty, but their horses were saddled, Kibum ventured to ask, “Did you plan this?”

Jinki slipped around the other side of his horse as he leads them out of their stall, smiling over the saddle. “Don’t you usually have to plan to kidnap the crowned prince?”

          “I suppose.”

          “Let’s go.” Jinki quickly swung his leg over the saddle and moved over to the back stable door, which Kibum could have sworn was just closed.

          As he rode alongside him, Kibum asked, “Where are you taking me?”

          “You’ll find out.”

          Kibum needed to talk to him about these vague cryptic answers.

-----

          They managed to ride through town without much trouble, past the far docks and into the thick woods that lead away from the Capital City. They stayed off the main road, cutting through the woods with a familiarity Kibum wondered how Jinki acquired. When they exited the line of trees, Kibum was presented with a stunning view of the bright blue sea. “The horses must remain here.”

          He slowly looked over to find Jinki dismounting and leading his horse toward on of the trees with a low branch to tie the reins. When his horse was also tied up, Kibum noticed the few apples Jinki had rolled onto the ground before each horse. He had a large pack on his back as he straightened, bright smile on his face as he offered his hand. “You aren’t worried about thieves?”

          “The rock formation there hides them from plain view even if someone happened to be this deep in the woods from the road.” Jinki gestured down the rocky path leading to the beach below. “The only way to get to where we’re going is from the sea, or the way we came. If anyone came we’ll know. Come on and watch your step.”

          Jinki’s hand was sure and warm holding his as they made their way down the narrow path.  There was a soft breeze blowing from the ocean, the waves crashing against the shore in slow intervals, but as they stepped onto the sand Jinki led him away from the water behind a large rock formation just ahead. The light shifted then, from bright to muted and Kibum stood frozen as he gazed around the foliage he now could see.

          It looked very much like a cave except the top was open, allowing the blue sky to be seen through the treetops. There were so many different types of plants in the circular space. Trees almost as tall as the cave itself, flowers he had never seen before in bright flowing colors, and in the distance there was the soft sound of a waterfall. Jinki led him through the thick broad leaves until they were in the middle of the cavern. Kibum looked around dazed, mouth open slightly and eyes wide, as he softly breathed out, “What is this place?”

          “The unique shape of the cave allows the air to be moister than other places which allow more diverse plant life that washes in from the sea. I hid here after ditching the caravan for a few days before heading into town.”

          “It’s very pretty.” Kibum playfully glared. “You still could have told me where you were taking me.”

          “I wanted to surprise you.” Jinki stared off in the distance, chewing on his bottom lip for a minute, before smiling, “Romantic. I was being romantic.”

          Warmth bloomed from his chest seeing Jinki so proud of himself. He kissed his cheek. “You were.”

          That only proved to make his smile grow somehow, “Come sit, I have more romance planned.”

------

          Jinki swam to the edge of the pool slowly, putting his arms onto the warm sand and smiling up at Kibum sitting beside him. “You should come in and swim with me. It’s not that deep.”

          “I’d rather just watch.”

          “But Kibum,” Jinki grinned, his hair fanning around him once it hit the water. “I really want you to come to swim with me.”

          “And if I refuse?”

          “Why don’t you try and find out?” Kibum really didn’t like the way Jinki was looking at him, so with a sigh, he pulled off his shirt and tossed it behind him toward the rest of their things. Jinki was grinning from ear to ear as he slipped into the water slowly. “It’s nice, isn’t it?”

          Kibum curled his fingers around Jinki’s wrist in the water, softly tugging him closer as his other hand cupped his cheek. “C’mere.”

          Jinki returned the kisses slowly, letting Kibum lead. The water was shallow enough they both could stand flat-footed and still have their shoulders out of the water. Jinki pulled his hand from Kibum’s to hold his hips, laughing a little against the kiss when he was twisted and his back was pressed into the bank of the pool. “Eager?”

          Kibum chuckled, pressing his forehead into Jinki’s damp shoulder. When he lifted his head his skin was flushed pink. “Thank you for today. I felt.. Normal.”

          “Thank you for letting me kidnap you.”

          “Any day.” Kibum lifted his hands slowly, water dripping from them before he pushed them through Jinki’s hair. “Your ears are out.”

          Jinki had his hands covering them quickly, eyes widen as he rushed out, “I can hide them if it-”

          He pecked his lips quickly, shaking his head as he pulled away. “You’re so pretty, My little Elfling.” When he realized what words came out of his mouth his eyes widened, “I apologize if that offends you.”

          But Jinki was giving that shy smile of his, a slight curve of his lips and pink on his cheeks, but his eyes were narrow slits to the point of them being all the way closed. “I like it.” He leans forward just enough to press a kiss to Kibum’s jaw. “Princeling.”

          Soon they’d have to pack up and head back to the castle before it got too late the Castle Guard was put on high alert, but until then Kibum was content on enjoying the quiet there with Jinki. And the warmth in his chest knowing Jinki felt safe with him to drop his mask.

-----

[adhurikitaab]

When your 'Rakshak' is no longer ready to even get the holy 'Rakhi' tied

For years growing up in the shadow of your father figure brother, with his love, care, the liberty to think and fly, because he is there for you, to protect, to let you grow. She shared things and enjoyed the age difference even when it's unlike others. It's a gap of 9 long years... Still sharing things and making demands. The unconditional love and affection sustained.

And then eventually what made a brother to deny to get the silk threads of the holy Rakhi woven with beads and in this particular case 'rudraksha' (yes! Every year.. Same rudraksha) (rudraksha is symbol of Shiva, God of Gods.. Powerful yet humble, down to earth) and lots of trust and love that he will stand by the sister?

I will have to start from the start!

When a child who has just passed her puberty and is spoiled of love and freedom faced some restrictions and rules which are gender biased and reason behind this being failure in so called board exams, the shadow of a father figure turned into other side of actual shadow of a person which seems so untouchable and unknown even when she knew him from birth till that very day...

One who just faced failure while having abundance of freedom is just grounded from freedom itself. Less time for communication from the provider of family (to become a provider, she needs to work hard and hence the result is no time for her child) and the one to whom she looks upto.. The 'Rakshak' being busy with own stuff, added more and more to the distancing between them. Moreover restrictions (which is not followed by himself) were put on her to convey that he cared. What he himself did was seen possible with his sister and hence sister was restricted by saying 'she is young', 'she has failed', 'he cares', and so forth so on...

In all this he forgot that communication is must. Whatever he meant to convey, was needed to be conveyed the way he used to convey. Whatever he spoke just not landed right! He could not just run from his responsibility. On one hand he was making decisions for her saying she is young and on other he did not made her understand the things as a young child.

You are running brother, you are!! Form your responsibilities!!

In between all this, with harmones on altogether different level with the blend of restricted freedom is more dangerous. Yes it is! Which direction the child would go is highly unpredictable. So was the case here with the sister. She made mistakes. Starting from lying till having an affair!! All was fair for her because she had to eradicate her loneliness and face challenges of life which were spat directly in her face.

Denied of all possible aspiration for carriers, by Rakshak himself [to establish himself as the decision maker, happiness seeker, well wisher, who knows it all, ultrabrillant and a father who is deciding in good faith for her, judging her capabilities, and delivering responsibly on behalf of parents, without becoming a parent (couldn't even become a sibling)] she was demotivated to study, in a college which was in metro city, of her choice and made it difficult to move out the town. She is made to study without any guidance and in subjects in which she would probably not even be interested.🤔🤯

She rebelled!!

And as a last resort to the rebel from her, Rakshak asked her to study one particular subject which was the 'baap' subject to the whole curriculum. On a condition that if she can conclude it in a summarized way, she convinces none other than the Rakshak himself, she gets to study according to her will!!

What a joke brother.. You just cut her wings.. And you didn't realized. She looked upto you. Did you really wanted her to study? Or feared that she can do better than you think? Or was that just to prove a point that you are the coparcener????

(Coparcener means a male child of the Hindu undivided family, who gets the right by birth to ask for partition of the undivided property and make decisions on behalf of undivided family)

When she gave it a honest shot, and failed (coz actually it was not possible to succeed without any guidance) and Rakshak denied further education certifying her to be incapable and trying to get her married to some decent chap, sister ran to the last person to whom she could ask help, the provider. Convinced her day and night, cried all days long just to get one chance! Last one!

Brother, Here you just distanced yourself from a lovely sister. Here you spoiled your relationship with her. Here for the first time she doesn't look up to you and she distanced herself very very far away from you in one stroke. By announcing her as incapable and trying to get rid of her by means of marriage and spoiling her career, you made a huge mistake!

Still.. Further going on..

At the end, when provider gave all possible support and she started studying, by this time, Rakshak had made so deep and non erasable marks, all the confidence was gone. At the end only failures was what she could see and Rakshak was the only one to whom she would look up to. So ending up relying on his views was unavoidable. And a bad relationship just added more to it.

Still trying a hand at whatever was there, she found this another guy to trust on and started gushing. She started spending long hours with him talking and discussing. It started with friendship and was headed to the other end.. Love! ❤️

Now studies and this adventure was going hand in hand...

An incident happened. The only friend just aware of friendship between them, and on whom Rakshak could rely ; unknowingly, in panic, told about this new guy to Rakshak. Then what happened was nothing unusual. Rakshak lost his trust and became more admant on getting her married ever than before but this time he did not said it directly. He was good on face. Taking out things from sister and through the provider, keeping her in some or the other restrictions was his set of plan and in a way he succeeded too..

Here it started breaking up. Here the beads and the silk threads could not hold love. Only reason was that it started holding distrust, questions, burden! Here it lost its meaning. Henceforth it was just a regular festival to be celebrated from his side. And as usual, for sister (unaware of his intentions)it was to make up with Rakshak, the only one she can trust blindly. It was king of challenge to get his love back like old days.. Now it was just endure- challenge feeling was remaining. No matter what was the aim, it didn't worked. Because the basic love and affection was lost. Authority-fear took place instead.

Time went by. The new guy unknowingly (whatever the intention was, good or bad) added to the distance between the sister and Rakshak n the provider.

Now whoever came in contact with this girl would see that she is rebellious, stubborn, unworthy. And on the other hand the Rakshak got to play dejected, helpless, who is correct.

The provider was unaware of this type of play from her son and relied blindly on her son.

Time went by. More failures faced this time. On emotional front, only this guy was there and hence she started depending on him heavily. Still there was a little talk between the Rakshak and the sister, her visits to Rakshak would always end up tragically. Rakshak would pursue provider for sisters marriage. Sister would keep mum and stand there crying. Provider would avoid this situation by saying 'she can't forcibly get the daughter married. She would do it with her will. She can't just arrange a wedding and make her sit there. She is grown up!!'

Yes brother.. She was always grown up. She took only good qualities from you even when she looked up to you and you resisted. She understood the difference of living life with morals and ethics.She covered up for you, for your dirty secrets, for your relationships. It didn't mattered to her how you behaved. What mattered was only you! Yes you lucky man.. It was only you who mattered!!

Time went by.. The friend who was involved in the unintentional disastrous incident, came in frequent contact. Sister had many friends already, still this one was different. This friend totally unaware of all this what happened in past, went on pumping things that would make her think differently and with new angel. With time she could rethink her perceptions and made changes accordingly. This helped her reduce this distance with the provider and start trying for Rakshak again with new ideas.

Now things started getting better. She was considering new possibilities. She even under this influence of friend did some things which created problems between her and the boyfriend (by then she was full fledged in a relationship). This was meant for greater good for future.

By this time she became more confident. She was challenged to earn. She started that. That first salary she received from her small little first school job helped to build her confidence back. She again started to dream. Was willing to try her hand again in studies. But till then it was already late in eyes of society as per Rakshak 's definition. Now was the high time for her to get married (to get rid of her).

But because of positive changes, now provider was keen to let her grow. She allowed her willingly to go out of town for job. With hope for greater good, she stayed all alone in town and allowed things to be in daughter's favor than of sons. Now this was an strike on Rakshak being coparcener. His decision was challenged and denied for the first time. 😁

So he again gave a try by saying she won't get a job even for the worth that she would require for her monthly expenses! So, the provider agreed to the son's surprise for one month expenses. After that if the daughter can't do anything, she won't support.

With positive heart, sister came to the same city as of the Rakshak. Searched for jobs. And with God's grace she got it!! Now nobody could stop her from achieving new horizons. Now she was unstoppable. Now she could do what she wanted and dreamt of. She just tasted her first success.😍

Now by every passing day, trust of provider grown in daughter and provider could see all those plays of her son. Now provider was more and more close to daughter than her son and this attacked the very existence of coparcener. His male ego got hurt. These two ladies now needed no one. They were always self sufficient but this time they could show that off!!

And this very incident made this Rakshak play this cold blooded, stone hearted victim. He closed all the walls to his heart and denied holy Rakhi... This was just a reflection of his disagreement, his reaction to loss of power... His existence got a hit from this and he shattered... Earlier he could play those acts saying it was for the sake of happiness of his mother by him getting that Rakhi tied on his hand... Now he could not do that too.. Coz provider too started sensing what was cooked all these years.. And he acted this way to run off from his responsibilities to achieve his own agenda by saying that he is no more a brother! She is just like a neighborour.

Neighborour!! Really??

Now you are not a brother anymore. Brother is one who stands by sister then let what may come up. He would be angry but would never keep ego. Will always take side of your sister no matter what is there. Will rescue her of difficult situations and guide her in difficult paths. In becoming father figure, you lost all that bro!! You really lost that!!

I hope this idiot sister thrives for your love in coming time too and you undergo a change of heart...

Dedicated to the sister in the story!! You are unstoppable! Don't wait! Don't stop! Keep trying and go on! You can do it! I believe in you!! You believe in yourself!! Believe in your confidence! Go! Get it girl!! Go fight for it which is righteously yours!! All the best!!

[wholemeasure-a]

Hi! I was wondering how you handle the whole 'are you catholic frank?' 'Once' exchange in DD if you view frank as Jewish? Is it like 'nope red said jewish' or like do you have a backstory that he tried Catholicism once but was like mmmnah definitely Judaism? Or like was it Maria that was catholic and frank Jewish? I just. Yes to all and more Jewish Frank headcanons please.

Hi! I’m super excited you asked me this because I’ve been thinking about it a lot lately. Sorry if this is a longer answer than you were looking for, but I’m having trouble sleeping and the melatonin ain’t kicked in yet.

Just as like. I guess a disclaimer, I myself am not Jewish. I was raised in a pretty lapsed Catholic household, but attended a private Catholic school for seven years all throughout my childhood, and wasn’t exposed to any other religions until I was about fourteen. And in the wake of leaving a very oppressive and abusive atmosphere, I became very bitter about religion and sort of have been angrily fighting against having anything to do with it until mmmm maybe the last year. My struggle to come to terms with my own bitterness is a work in progress, so- the reason I don’t touch much on Frank’s religion is because I, personally, am still unlearning a lot of distrust/hatred based on my own experiences.

THAT SAID. There’s this whole thing in the older comics where as a young man Frank was going to enter the Priesthood, but expressed doubt that he was not fit to serve the Church due to his inability to forgive sinners. As such, he eventually dropped that path and joined the military. This is a common thread with Frank in any incarnation- that even long before he picked up a gun, he was incapable of forgiving cruelty. Murder, rape, abuse- The Tyger shows a ten year old Frank stealing his father’s gun to go kill the man who raped and caused the suicide of his friend Lauren.

Frank’s parents in the comics are Mario and Louisa Castiglione. We know he had two paternal uncles as well, and since comic Frank is a baby boomer, the usual story is his father fought in WW2. So that’s the time frame comic Frank is working with, and for me, I thought it was interesting that we know more about Frank’s Italian roots and that it seemed to center more on his dad’s side of the family. 

Those facts in mind, it became a pretty quick jump to Frank’s mother- the person who in the comics he seems to relate to and take after more heavily- is Jewish. Potentially a Jewish woman who lost track of family ties in the wake of WW2. She married into a big Italian Catholic family. This is a concept I haven’t dug too deeply into, but it’s all just part of the big overly complicated reasoning I always seem to have to come up with. Obviously the timeline is jumped upwards in the show, but Frank still claims he has older parents. Regardless, I HC that Frank’s mom is Jewish.

All this in mind, I decided to ditch the 'FATHER ANGUS I HAVE SUCH DOUBT’ nonsense, and figured I may as well pick from my own experiences. AKA- feeling stifled by white Jesus.

For me, Frank was sort of pushed into Catholicism very heavily from his father’s side of the family. Probably an altar boy, Sunday school, the whole nine yards. And as he got older and sort of started to question and come into his own, the whole thing felt very oppressive. Not faith, but obligation. So for me, since I pull a lot of headcanon out of the comics, I thought how perfect is this? Frank’s mom is the one who gave him all her books, who imposed on him this sense of justice and respect and outrage at awful things. If Louisa was Jewish, how beautiful is it for Frank to make the choice to get in touch with his mother’s roots, the roots he inherited but never really got to learn. Was Catholic, not anymore.

So, TL;DR- Frank is Jewish on his mother’s side, and as a teen/young adult, he chose to step away from Catholicism and instead pursue Judaism. He’s not a strictly religious man, but he found more things in common with his Jewish heritage than his Catholic family members. As for Maria- not sure! Guess it kind of depends on who I’m RPing with, but in my own head I guess there might be a mix of things going on.

[mikami]

Do you think Light or Teru would have made good dads? Something tells me they would have put their social cause before their families..

I meant to answer this yesterday, but then I ironically got stuck playing Dream Daddy, so take that as you will, uhm.

I think whether or not they’d be good fathers would depend heavily on the context in which they have kids, which… is very wishy-washy, sorry.

For Teru, I don’t picture him as a very good dad in most scenarios because he’s a person who has a hard time comprehending mindsets other than his own and also relentlessly prioritizes work life. He’d neglect his kid without even realizing he’s doing it, because to him this is all so self-explanatory…?

However, I can see him doing decently if he has a kid with a partner he actually loves - like, by that point he’d already have improved his social skills by virtue of figuring out how to respect someone else in a long-term relationship, so a kid comes sliiightly more easily to him as well. Plus his partner can criticize him and balance him out. I don’t think fatherly love is something he’s incapable off, he just needs to be shown the ropes and that’s the tough part.

Generally, my headcanon is that he would not want kids at all though, given his own parent experience went hideously and he’s just kinda /o\ at the thought.

Light would be a moderately good parent, in most cases? He definitely likes family more than friends, so at least his kid has a better standing than most.But he would probably pull a Soichiro and be away a lot, because work is indeed a thing he prioritizes and this is how he knows it from his own childhood.

But really, it’s still so… context dependent. Like Light who just gets a child to produce a Kira heir, with a woman he doesn’t love? Probably not a good dad.Light who has a child with someone he is actually attached to? Way better dad.

I agree they’re both not really made to be Nr. One Family Man, but I don’t think they’d be bad if they had children in a situation they genuinely feel at ease with.If they have children without being convinced of the context of conception, the kid would suffer from that negative association and it’d be……alright… ish.

[obdurare-archive-blog]

You have me thinking it, damn you, so now you can suffer right along. Barbossabeth for the ship thing.

insert ship; receive answer : accepting : @aladyatseawho is more likely to hurt the other?He’s more likely to hurt her, I think.  He’s not bound to the same rule of conventions I think she still would be, to a degree, and while I really, truly believe he can be loyal and steadfast and seriously the most dedicated thing in the world, I also think that he’s not going to be delicate with feelings.  Coupled with the fact that he holds so much inside and can come across as cold and a bit uninvolved, she’s bound to get hurt by him more than once.who is emotionally stronger?That’s really hard to quantify, honestly.  I think they’re both emotionally strong, willed people.  She might be more so, though, because I feel like, to a point, she’s not afraid to express those emotions?  Whereas he’ll keep them locked up tight because betrayal is something he’s very familiar with and it would take…Gosh.  A lot of work to get him to stop being so guarded.  He’d miss out on a lot because of it.who is physically stronger?Have you actually met Hector Barbossa?  He’s strong as a fucking ox.  Definitely him.  He’s got more leverage, anyway, being so much taller.who is more likely to break a bone? Probably Hector.  He’s a reckless fuck.  Like, it wouldn’t surprise me if he gets banged up fairly regularly just doing as he do.who knows best what to say to upset the other? With Hector, definitely accuse him of having no honor or backing out on what he says.  His temper will flare faster than you can say ‘parley’.  Or put words in his mouth he didn’t say.  With Lizzie…Gosh.  Lizzies out there, bear with me, okay.  I’m pretty sure treating her like she’s weak or incapable would probably get her temper up, actually.  She’s so capable and she knows it.

who is most likely to apologise first after an argument? Hector will refuse to apologize until judgement day.  So don’t hold your breath.  Elizabeth shows a willingness to actually do so.  So my money’s on her.who treats who’s wounds more often? Idk, it probably goes both ways.  Which I think would be strange for Hector, he’s so used to doing it himself, he’d be hella resistant at first.who is in constant need of comfort? They’re both strong people who don’t need asspats.  I think they could be a mutual sort of support for one another, but they don’t need constant reassurance.who gets more jealous? Hector.  Definitely Hector.who’s most likely to walk out on the other? Hector.  He’d be way more likely to just.  Fuck off.who will propose? Neither, I think.  But I also think it would also depend heavily on where in the timeline they are.  Either way, I don’t see a piece of paper being very important to Hector at all.who has the most difficult parents?Well, considering.  If Weatherby was still alive I’m sure there’d be a.  “This is not what I meant by pirate” talk.who initiates hand-holding when they’re out in public? Oh God, would they?  I don’t know that they actually would, honestly.  Hector’s not overtly touchy and pda would like.  Announce a weakness, honestly.  That’s something Hector would be incredibly conscious of.  And I don’t know that Elizabeth would, either, but she’d be the more likely of the two if it happened.who comes up for the other all the time????  I’m going to assume that means excuses and uh.  Neither?  Like that’s kind of part and parcel with what they do and I feel like if Elizabeth ended up fully entrenched in that life she’d eventually see that. who hogs the blankets? Hector.  He is a pirate burrito.who gets more sad? Eh, probably Elizabeth?  Like, Hector doesn’t actually dwell on things much.who is better at cheering the other up? Idk, I think they’d both be good at keeping each other’s up, honestly.  The constant banter would probably do wonders.who’s the one that playfully slaps the other all the time after they make silly jokes?Hector is a man who makes dick jokes so…You can see where I’m going with this.who is more streetwise?Definitely Hector.  He’s been at this too long not to be.who is more wise?Also Hector.  But Elizabeth would have insights into things he doesn’t.who’s the shyest? Neither one is very shy at all, let’s be real.  They’re both very confident people.who boasts about the other more? They wouldn’t need to.  Actions and reputations would be plenty in that respect.who sits on who’s lap? Aaaah, oh  no that’s cute, but I’m pretty sure Hector’s entirely too heavy so Elizabeth would be the lap sitter.

[talabib]

How To Find Financial Freedom In Your Forties. 

Once you reach your forties, it’s safe to say you’re not the high-school prom king, nerd, or cheerleader you once were. Your path in life has led to new roles like worker, breadwinner, spouse, parent – or all of the above.  

No matter what your situation, though, you still have something in common with all the other forty-somethings of your generation: money.

Most people hope that middle age will bring them financial security and freedom. However, many find some stumbling blocks between them and prosperity in the second half of their lives. 

This post looks at the lives and fortunes of six distinct characters. Along the way, they reveal the damaging attitudes, beliefs, and assumptions about money that are holding you back and show how you can build a secure foundation for your family’s future.

Indulging your every want leads to a lot of debt that you don’t need. 

There are five damaging attitudes you’ll need to let go of if you’re going to achieve long-term prosperity and fulfillment. In this post, you’ll meet a cast of characters who embody these bad attitudes, and you’ll learn just how they turned things around – or how they didn’t. 

The first attitude you’ll need to unlearn is desire.In today’s consumerist society, it’s easy to confuse the things you want with those you need. Surrounded by media images of glamorous celebrity lifestyles, you may find yourself spending excessive amounts on designer clothes, fast cars, or extravagant restaurants. 

Sure, indulging your desires is part of what makes life fun. But unfortunately, doing so can also burden you with debt, which is likely to send your anxiety levels soaring. 

Josephine, a successful entrepreneur and businesswoman, knows all about desire and the stress it can put on a person’s finances. Although she owned a successful communications business – a business that provided her with an annual income of around a million dollars a year – one thing she didn’t have was financial security. Hundreds of thousands of dollars came into her bank account each month, only to leave it just as quickly. All thanks to her decadent lifestyle. Josephine splurged her massive salary on everything from huge mortgages on a string of luxury properties to five-star hotel suites to personal make-up artists.

Unfortunately, Josephine’s desire for a lavish lifestyle was costing her more than just money – it was taking its toll in stress, too. 

From the outside, it looked like Josephine had a perfect life. But in reality, she had to keep working extremely hard to keep the money rolling in each month. Josephine knew if she took her foot off the gas, she would immediately encounter difficulties; she had so heavily leveraged her property investments with debt. This manic, work-hard-play-hard lifestyle had suited Josephine in her twenties and thirties, but now, in her forties, she’s finding that she doesn’t have as much energy. Unfortunately, with all her desires and their accompanying debts, slowing down hasn’t been an option. 

Clearly, Josephine needs to reassess her lifestyle and her desires.

When you don’t focus on the right things, you’re headed towards failure. 

What do you really want out of life? Not just tomorrow, but in five or even twenty years’ time? If you’re a little unsure, then you’re not alone. All too often, we fail to clearly envision exactly what we want our future to look like. Without this grand vision, we have trouble focusing our efforts on long-term goals. Instead, we live day to day, searching for fulfillment in our next vacation or job but rarely finding anything more than fleeting moments of gratification. 

This brings us to the next attitude that’s holding you back from a prosperous future: your focus. 

Meet Jasper, a forty-something man who’s been struggling with focus ever since he left high-school. During his formative years, Jasper didn’t have a problem with focusing on what he wanted. In high school, he was a star athlete; he looked to be headed for great success, and had no problem envisioning a future career in professional sports. 

Unfortunately, through a combination of bad luck and injury, Jasper’s athletic career never took off. He’s been drifting through life ever since. He never replaced his vision of becoming an athlete with any other long-term goal. So at the age of forty, he’s without focus. He bounces from one dead-end job to the next, living for the weekend and drinking too much. He lives with his elderly mother because he can’t afford to pay for an apartment of his own. 

Deep down, Jasper is a decent guy. But because he doesn’t know what he wants from life, he’s ended up with very little in the way of possessions and almost no savings for his retirement.  

However, not everyone who struggles with focus does so because of a lack of it; problems can also arise when a person’s focus is too narrow.  

Meet Jayne, a lawyer and single mother to eight-year-old twin girls. Although she has the potential to earn a very decent income, Jayne only works part-time. Why? Because she’s always made her family the main focus of her life. When she was younger, she believed that getting married and having children would be enough to bring her happiness. 

Unfortunately, when her husband became abusive, and their marriage ended, Jayne was left to shoulder the financial burden of raising two children. However, her current job barely covers the family’s expenses, let alone a retirement plan. Finding herself in this precarious position, Jayne is starting to realize that focusing so much on her family isn’t bringing her the happiness or peace of mind that she’d anticipated.

Money is a limited resource for most, but time is finite for all of us.  

Even if you’re bad with money, you’re probably savvy enough to know that it doesn’t grow on trees. We all understand – in theory, at least – that money is a limited resource. Yet many of us fail to grasp that time is finite too. We act like we have all the time in the world to get what we really want, whether that’s closer relationships with our loved ones or a solid financial plan for our retirement. But time, like money, is something we can’t afford to waste. 

Many forty-somethings have competing demands on their time and finances, from teenage children to aging parents, which means they delay making arrangements for their financial future. Believing they have plenty of time to secure their finances in the years to come, they continue to focus purely on the urgent demands of the here and now. 

Karen and Russ did just that. While Karen was a stay-at-home mom, Russ worked long hours to provide his family with a comfortable lifestyle. Unfortunately, while the couple had a great house and enjoyed overseas vacations, they hadn’t put a plan in place to ensure their lifestyle remained sustainable. They had a big mortgage, for example, but neither of them had any life insurance. 

This meant that if anything were to happen to Russ, or if he were suddenly unable to work, his family might lose their house. Furthermore, with Karen out of the workforce for so long, her retirement income would be worryingly small. Once they crunched the numbers, the couple realized that, even if they downsized and sold their house in the future, it still wouldn’t give them enough money to enjoy a comfortable retirement.

But an unhealthy attitude towards time doesn’t only hurt those with financial troubles. It can also negatively impact even the most financially secure people. 

Brad was a self-made billionaire who owned a global technology company. However, despite his enormous wealth, Brad’s life was far from perfect. Because he’d been so focused on his career, he’d never dedicated the time to finding the right person to settle down and start a family with. 

He also had a distant relationship with his parents and only really communicated with them through his personal assistant. In other words, Brad lacked loving relationships in his life, and no matter how much money he had, he couldn’t buy back the time he had failed to spend on getting closer to other people. 

Your childhood beliefs around money may be hindering your progress as an adult. 

What do you think about when you think about money? Perhaps either that it’s something to be spent and enjoyed, or that it needs to be saved for a rainy day?

Many of our attitudes about money are formed during childhood. They’re handed down to us by our parents. Most of us reach adulthood without ever questioning them. But these attitudes aren’t correct or even helpful just because we’ve clung to them for a long time.

In other words, if you’re serious about building a better financial future, you might need to examine your core beliefs about money.

Remember Jasper, the former athlete? Unfortunately, he doesn’t just lack focus. He also inherited damaging beliefs about money from his father, who spent his life working eighteen-hour days for little pay. From a young age, Jasper’s father drummed into him that working for a living was extremely hard and that money was very difficult to come by. As an adult, then, Jasper felt that the best way to protect himself from the hardships his father had suffered was to eschew ambition and try to work as little as possible. 

Unfortunately, this reluctance to knuckle down and work meant bouncing around from job to job. As a result, he never progressed up any sort of career ladder. Jasper may have avoided his father’s struggles, but he’s got plenty of his own as a result of his damaging beliefs. 

Although it’s better hidden than Jasper’s, Karen – our stay-at-home mom  – also has a damaging belief about money: she’s always felt incapable of making any. Instead, Karen believes she was meant to be a wife and mother, with her husband the family breadwinner. This belief was given to her by her parents,   who never really expected anything more of their daughter. It’s no surprise then that she’s now completely financially dependent on her husband.

And what about lonely Brad? His loneliness also arose from a damaging belief about money that was handed to him by his parents. From a young age, Brad was taught to value money and success above all else. As a child, his parents gave him the impression that their love was conditional on his accomplishments. As an adult, Brad now believes that human relationships aren’t nearly as important as his career. Unfortunately, the result is that he has no one to share his high-pressure lifestyle with – and he’s getting lonely.

The key to changing your financial future is to take action. 

At this point in our journey, it might seem as if your finances can only ever cause you stress and despair. Luckily, this isn’t the case. Anyone can turn their finances around if they take action. The sooner you change, the sooner your future will too. 

You don’t have to do it alone, either. Talking to a trusted financial advisor can help you understand your options and the changes you and your family need to make. 

So what did Ben, a financial advisor, advise our group of assorted forty-somethings, each with their own unique financial challenges? 

First, Ben advised extravagant Josephine to come to grips with her desires, which had loaded her up with debt over the years. Following his advice, Josephine sold most of her luxury properties and used the money to buy her remaining homes outright. It considerably lessened her expenses and reduced her stress levels.

Next, Ben advised Karen not to let damaging beliefs about herself hold her back any longer. Karen launched her own business, which built up her confidence along with her and her husband’s retirement savings. Now Karen is well on her way to a secure and fulfilling future. 

As for our former high school Jock Jasper, Ben advised him to focus on bigger goals, like establishing a real career for himself. With some financial help from his mother, Jasper was able to go back to college and study physical education. 

Sadly, though, Jasper’s beliefs were just too deeply entrenched to overcome. After only a year, he dropped out of college and lost a lot of the money his mother gave him. He is yet to achieve financial security. 

Lastly, Ben correctly pointed out that both Karen’s husband Russ and billionaire Brad needed to unlearn their attitudes towards time. Russ had to act immediately to secure his family’s financial future, so he took out life insurance and protected his family’s income in the event that anything were to happen to him. 

Brad, on the other hand, needed to spend more time with his ailing mother, who was terminally ill with cancer. Encouragingly, in the final months of her life, he rearranged his busy schedule and took the opportunity to rebuild his relationship with her.

The positive changes that this bunch of forty-somethings made prove that, even in middle age, you can still transform your relationship with money for the better.

By the time you get to forty, you’ve probably made some money mistakes in your time. Whether they’ve struggled to build a sustainable career or failed to grow a nest egg, many forty-somethings are grappling with an uncertain financial future. But it’s not too late to take action. By reassessing your priorities, curbing your desires, and reevaluating your beliefs, you can still look forward to financial security later in life. 

Action plan: A trustworthy financial advisor is within reach. If you’re looking for financial freedom, you’ll need to find a financial advisor you can trust. With this in mind, you should always look for an independent financial advisor, one who doesn’t earn a commission on any of the financial products she deals with. Instead, look for an advisor who only makes money from the fees her clients pay her directly. Advice from a qualified professional can be a great help and can cost as little as $200 a month. 

[wannabediogenes]

A Critique of Capitalism & My Ideas for Solutions

I understand the benefits of capitalism as it provides competition which means that we will have better products and more people working because it provides incentives in the form of money which can be used to basically buy anything.

Which on the whole doesn't seem that bad, I wouldn't say there's anything bad about it inherently, the problems come from what it's lacking, and what ends up happening when it's practically introduced.

First, it's lacking in two things: inherent morals, and valuing human life.

In capitalism we value money over both morals and people. Not to say that people don't have morals, most people do, but the onus is on them to actually carry out those morals, not only is their little punishment for being amoral in capitalism (in ways that have not already been clearly drawn out i.e. murder, extortion) but there are no incentives in capitalism to be mortal. And in a system that elevates incentives i.e. money over everything, makes it very easy for morals to be washed away if incentives are strong enough.

Capitalism is a dog-eat-dog system, meaning that although that means competition can bring better products, it also means competition can bring products that are being bought for a multitude of reasons: addictive ingredients, ads praying on Primal impulses, unearned company loyalty, convenience, etc.

What this means is that capitalism does not make better products, or products that are better for the people, it solely makes products that are bought more than other products, regardless of why that is.

In a moral system, there would be rules, or at least guidelines on what you're allowed to do when selling a product, and most of the products would be advertise based on what they can do and what they're good for, not how they make you feel or how they can make you feel like life is good. Because if half of the people buying products today spend more time fixing their own lives than trying to buy something to fix their lives, I think they would be genuinely happier and more fulfilled. And there's a huge amount of people that do that now, but there's enough people that don't, simply because they're not as good at parsing out the information given to them on a daily basis and fighting the urges capitalism and it's players have gotten so good at drawing out. I personally I don't think they should be punished with a subpar life because they have less self-control. I don't think having more self-control should make you a better person and I definitely don't think it makes you more deserving of happiness. If anything should have self control, it's capitalism, since it takes no responsibility for it's indulgences of businesses that make money but make people's lives worse. I think the onus should be on capitalism to be self-controlled, to have morals, so individuals don't have to make up or pay for its laziness.

A moral system, would not allow certain things to be sold so readily and so easily when being so harmful to the person's health or the world's health. The fact that rice and beans cost more than a Big Mac is Criminal. the fact that you can buy a million cheap products that break because they're made to break so you can keep buying them (causing a bigger biological footprint) is Criminal. But if no one is stepping in to add morality, those who are willing to fight dirty will always win - or at least enough to hurt a lot of people.

Secondly, capitalism does not care about people. Now, a supporter of capitalism might say, "capitalism support's those who are willing to work hard enough to succeed" or "capitalism supports those who help themselves". Now these are both things I agree with heavily. I think effort is incredibly important and something we should value immensely. Capitalism values your ability to succeed which is not the same as effort. But personally I think effort is more important, because it's one of the few things we actually have control over in the life we're given. And in my opinion you are only really putting in effort if you are succeeding in some way, if you continue to put an effort to something that's not succeeding because you want it to work out and not because you think it will work out, you're probably avoiding the truth out of laziness/fear depending on what your goals are. Capitalism doesn't value effort, even when it's so skewed in terms of who's being benefited and who's actually putting the work in. Here are some examples to express my points - these examples are not to say that all people in these groups are like this, but these are some various traps that people fall into.

A rich kid, spoiled by his parents, who never learns the value of true effort because he's never not had something long enough to have to work for it. This kid grows up and although they might have great genes and huge potential for the world, they end up either squandering their abilities or using them for some of the immoral means mentioned in the first point.

My personal solution to this is having everyone in the world start off with the same amount of money, to allow ample amount of creative competition to create a better world. he would not be able to inherent all the money from his parents, and so maybe his parents would not worry so much about saving so much money and might use it to help others more. You might disagree with that and think it's a bit extreme, and it is, but as you'll see with my next examples, what's much more extreme is people working incredibly hard and getting very little credit and mostly punishments with no safety net. I also think most people can agree that the majority of rich kids are more spoiled than most and don't work as hard. Simply because of the fact that the only one controlling whether or not they have things as their parents and their parents love them so they usually give them everything they can. I think that whatever the person's parents did to make that money means that they're obviously relatively smart and have good genes to pass on. If their child is spoiled enough, the world will not benefit from someone who in a more competitive situation could have had much more success.

The poor kid, working a job to support his family while trying to get through his studies in high school. Working tirelessly, saving every penny in order to give his family a better life. While he's very smart and very committed, his grades always end up slipping. The college he ends up going to is below his level and doesn't push him, but he doesn't notice because he still needs to work just to survive. He will most likely not be rewarded for the huge amount of effort that he puts in, unless he gets bailed out by luck, then that really doesn't have much to do with his effort. He will most likely get a lower-paying job and have a good life with a family that won't have much more money than the one he grew up with.

Capitalism doesn't value the fact that he worked harder than a lot of people with more money than him, it would punish him for failing just as much as it does a kid who willingly throws his life away from his naivete. As I said before, everyone's we should start out with the same amount of money. because if the rich kid and this could have the same amount of money and resources and continue the way they had in their previous life, the poor kid would be a billionaire and the rich kid would be on the streets. I personally hope that they would both find things that they cared about and work for them and have fulfilling lives because of it, rather than having money affect their lives so much.

The homeless person, who from either one lapse of judgement, an inability to handle a mental illness, a physical addiction gone awry, or just a regular person who cracks after just too many things have gone wrong and downward spirals.

Anyone who has spent any time being homeless knows - they work tirelessly, constantly trying to make enough money to survive by either stealing, panhandling, collecting cans for deposits, or doing odd jobs. Capitalism limits heavily the amount of choices they have, without an address or reliable use of a shower or bed they are unable to get any real job. No one wants them in their business, and they of course don't want them working for it.

Additionally if whatever the person's mistake causeed the resume to look subpar and not be called back - be it dishonorable discharge, a messy firing, prison time, etc. All together their options are very small, and there chances of becoming a normal member of society again are few and far between. Regardless of this fact, all of them are working constantly to survive, some of them much harder than the others. These few are able to keep themselves always moderately fed, put what's close enough to a roof over their head, and even be able to keep their wit and good attitude through all the pain and suffering. They may be finding creative solutions to difficult problems that people don't even notice.

Though none of them are even measurably rewarded for their efforts. The only reward they get, if they're still level headed enough, is avoiding the punishment that those who have spiraled further are incapable of avoiding.

Capitalism pushes the need for incentives to it's extreme, and believes that not only there is not enough money/jobs for everyone to be able to work, but also that anyone that can't succeed deserves to rot until they can figure out how.

Personally my thoughts are if our government provided the homeless with the the barest essentials: a cheap cloth cot, a shower, and a cheap meal - in addition to obviously helping people who are suffering everyday - it would be an investment resulting in a huge amount of people to add to the workforce (that would probably be fine doing our less glamorous jobs) and furthermore a huge amount of people with money buying goods and services, eventually renting a place, paying for rehab (if that's a problem), buying a car, etc. I believe this would over time provide a huge increase to the economy, especially because the homeless would still have to be creative, but they could use there creativity to help businesses and others instead of using it just to survive.

Ironically both money and people themselves are being underserved in this system. The only benefit of not helping the homeless would I guess be ideologically continuing to provide a huge punishment for not succeeding and not working. However I feel that no one would enjoy the provisions I laid out, and they would be level headed enough because of them to want something more and work hard to get it.

As anyone familiar with Maslow's hierarchy of needs will note, before certain needs are met, a person is unable to deal with higher more delicate needs. It is incredibly difficult to live meal to meal and day today just trying to survive, without a shower or a good night sleep, compared to putting together a resume and going job hunting, it's a huge jump and requires much different skills and perspective. If given the base provisions I mentioned they would be much closer to a normal life than they are now. Then if they still are opposed to getting a job and a normal life, then at that point there truly is nothing we can do and they have resigned themselves to what they want. However, because of these provisions, there would be no need for criminalization, cleaning after, security risks for people and businesses, etc with homeless people anymore. They would simply just be people, and if they decided to then do something wrong all the responsibility would be on them and not their situation.

From all these points it can be seen that Capitalism's goals are questionable, and how it's been practically introduced is lazily adhering to the goals which it says it sticks too. Either that or it's goal is solely to not have outside involvement and people tout its benefits are lazy in their analyzations. Capitalism should understand what it's trying to do and do it better or we should have a system that does it better.

I hope though that you also see how capitalism the way it is today is inherently without morals and doesn't care about people.

[narrativedoomed]

#i think they both have this. put side to side its like. they have this spectrum of how grown up a person can be in their early 20s#kurt has a very young feeling to his age and you'd believe hes younger than he is. hes immature#hes incapable of a lot of things and depends heavily on his parents and as a single child hasn't had much opportunity to learn from others#and just generally tends to feel a lot younger especially since his trauma makes him shrink down and age regress a little#whereas nick. hes spent so many years being the older brother and while he did have joe being older he still felt this huge responsibility#and he put it on himself to be the protector of his brothers esp when joe went to college so he had to grow up young#and his history of abusing substances has in many ways aged him#and he has this thing this. he got out of that house and he got free but the moment his brothers need him he moves back in#he faces down the abuse again and almost dies for it because his brothers needed him#and its something kurt never experiences because he never has the protective drive for a sibling#when he ends up back at that house it is because kurt feels too weak to stand on his own feet#when nick does it its because he knows he can be strong enough to endure long enough to protect his brothers#and theres a Lot about nick that makes him more grown up than kurt emotionally#and i do think being a single dad to a baby is very very heavily involved in that but thats a whole other thing#if/when kurt has a baby he shifts to be more grown up tok but thats not the point of this#i started this saying they have nothing in common but they r v similar actually and maybe they should kiss#i ship a lot of my muses w kurt simply bc he deserves all the love#god i love nick i miss him catch me yelling on my multi ab him

I dont think i have ever mentioned nick on this blog bc hes an oc that has. Nothing to do with kurt or in common w him but looking at him next to kurt actually is so interesting to me because they're both around the same age coming from abusive homes and trying to just do what they have to to survive and theres so many interesting parallels between them