#hes in pain in bed watching not dead yet while crying

[orangesand-lemons-234]

[littlest-w01f]

Bloody

Sylus x Reader

SYLUS MASTERLIST

LADS MASTERLIST

Summary: Even after being told against it time after time, you took a hit meant for Sylus

Cw: Blood, injury, angst, little suggestive at the end

The fight was a blur to you, all you remembered was that you and Sylus had been attacking your own Wanderers, as you finished off the Wanderer in front of you, you rushed for Sylus when you saw another about to take a strike at Sylus while his back was facing the creature.

With a cry of desperation, you lunged towards Sylus, throwing yourself between him and the looming threat of the Wanderer's weapon. Your body took the brunt of the impact, the alien's weapon slicing into your chest with brutal efficiency, the cut cauterised on impact. The pain was excruciating, but you barely registered it.

As you lay there, the gash burning your chest, your clothes slowly burning in, your vision blurring, you felt Sylus' strong arms wrap around you, cradling your injured form. His face was etched with concern, his eyes searching yours desperately.

"Stupid, aboslutely dumb little kitten!" Sylus growled, right eye pulsing red, his body nearly shaking in anger as he rushed home with you in his arms, being careful not to hurt you further, "Why? Why the fuck would you do that!?"

"You... You were gonna get hurt..." You gasped out as he set you on his bed, surrounded by pillows. "You always protect me... So I thought..."

"You don't take my hits!" Sylus growled, his hands hurting to remove your clothes so they didn't stick to your burnt skin, his words were harsh, yet they were laced with a desperate fear. "I step in front of you because I heal faster than you can blink. I will always step in to protect you, but you don't have to do that! Have you gone mad!?"

Sylus' intense gaze bore into yours, his chest still heaving with agitation. The dim light filtering through the curtains cast long shadows across his chiselled features, accentuating the sharp lines of his jaw and the furrowed brow above piercing crimson eyes. His broad shoulders seemed to tense even further beneath the leather jacket he hadn't removed yet. "If the blade was a little to the left YOU WOULD'VE BEEN DEAD!"

As he stepped back, giving you space, and himself too, his clenched fists hung at his sides, the knuckles white with restrained fury. The air around him crackled with barely contained rage, making the hairs on the back of your neck stand on end, but you didn't flinch at how pissed he was, knowing he would never harm you.

Sylus paced back and forth across the room like a caged beast, his hands clenched into fists at his sides. The anger radiating off him was palpable, making the air feel charged with tension. Every so often, his gaze would flicker over to you lying on the bed, his expression softening just slightly before hardening once more.

"I won't let anyone hurt you," He muttered, his voice low and rough. "But that doesn't mean you get to throw yourself in front of danger like some kind of martyr, sweetie!"

As Sylus tried to calm his breathing as if trying to lessen the power pulsing in him, his mind raced with thoughts of how close he came to losing you. The memory of seeing that Wanderer's blade pierce your chest made his stomach churn with nausea even if he had destroyed it, he hoped he could've tortured it more. He couldn't bear the idea of living without you, of watching your life slip away before his very eyes.

He stopped pacing abruptly, turning to face you with a look of determination etched onto his features. With swift movements, he shed his jacket and kicked off his boots, revealing his toned physique clad only in a black fitted top and pants.

"Sylus…" You whispered weakly, trying to sit up but wincing at the pain in your chest. He quickly moved to support you, helping you recline against the pillows.

"Just relax, sweetie," He murmured, his fingers gently tracing along the wound, applying pressure to stem the bleeding. His eyes blazing with intensity. "Look at you, all pale and shaky. You could've died, and for what? To prove some stupid point about how much you love me? I know you love me, you were crazy for what you did."

Sylus ran a hand through his dishevelled hair, his chest heaving with agitation. He knelt beside you, brushing away a stray lock of hair that clung to your forehead, his touch gentle despite his rough exterior.

"Damn it, y/n," Sylus muttered, frustration clear in his voice, "I can't lose you. I can't stop seeing you... On the ground... I..."

"Don't worry," You whispered, the words barely audible even to your own ears, "I'm fine."

Sylus growled lowly at your weak reassurance, his red eyes flashing dangerously. "Fine?" He scoffed, his large hands hovering over your exposed torso, hesitating to cause you any more pain.

His breath hitched at the sight of your tattered flesh, Sylus scoffed, unclasping and slipping off his leather belt, "Now this is going to hurt for you, kitten." You automatically opened your mouth for him to put the leather between your teeth to bite onto, having gone through him using his Evol to heal you before. He held you down, hands holding down your shoulders, he focused on your gashing wound, red and black tendrils formed around your injury, energy humming, stitching your skin back up as you struggled in pain.

Your breath hitched as Sylus' Evol surged through you, the sensation of your flesh knitting together was excruciating. BItting onto his leather belt in pain, tears lining your eyes. For Sylus, he was used to healing, the pain was almost unrecognizable to him, but for you, it was torture.

Sylus kept his grip firm on your shoulders, anchoring you to the spot as he focused his energy on repairing your torn flesh. The sound of your pained whimpers and whines were like nails on a chalkboard, tearing at his heartstrings. He wanted nothing more than to take away your suffering, to make everything better.

As soon as the last tendril of energy dissipated, Sylus released his hold on your shoulders, allowing you to slump back against the pillows with a gasp of relief. His chest rose and fell rapidly, matching the frantic beat of his heart, yours slow, gaining speed back after you were healed, a faint line now replacing the gash.

"There," Sylus said, panting lightly. "It should heal nicely." Sylus' touch was tender, his fingers tracing along the newly healed skin, ensuring every stitch was done correctly, leaving no opening. His eyes never left your face, watching every flinch, every grimace that crossed your features.

Leaning in closer, Sylus pressed a tender kiss to your forehead, then to your eyes, making the tears fall, his lips brushing against your skin with a feather-light touch. "Never again," He spoke softly, his crimson eyes burning with an intensity that spoke volumes of his unwavering dedication to protecting you. "Never do that."

He was furious. Furious that you'd willingly taken a blow meant for him, furious that you'd endangered yourself for him, furious that he hadn't been quick enough to stop you, or protect you. Sylus's voice was low, almost a growl, "You're mine to protect, not the other way around, alright, my pretty kitten?"

A vulnerability, a hint of his underlying emotions that he tried so hard to keep hidden. He looked at you with an intensity that made your heart flutter. "You can't just throw yourself in harm's way like that, y/n," he said, his tone softer now, though no less firm.

You looked away from his burning eyes, still a little weak, "I just..."

"You just what?" Sylus demanded, his voice rising once more as he towered over you again, looming over you. "Couldn't bear the thought of me getting hurt? Thought you could play the hero?"

His words stung, but you refused to let him see how much they affected you. Instead, you met his gaze head-on, your own eyes blazing with determination. "I did what I had to do," You said firmly, your voice unwavering despite the pain still coursing through your body. "I won't apologize for not wanting to see you hurt."

For a moment, Sylus seemed taken aback by your defiance, his brows furrowing as he studied you intently. Then, with a sigh, he ran a hand through his hair, his shoulders sagging slightly. "You stubborn kitten," Sylus' nostrils flared, his chest heaving with each ragged breath. "You have no idea what you put me through," He muttered, his voice thick with emotion. "Seeing you lying there… It felt like my world was ending."

For a moment, his usual tough exterior crumbled, replaced by raw vulnerability. He took a step back, raking a hand through his hair, his crimson eyes filled with unshed tears.

"Oh, Sylus..." You whispered, voice a little shaky, reaching out to place a hand on his forearm, feeling the corded muscles beneath your touch, the other stroking his cheeks. "I'm ok... I'm ok because you healed me... I'm so much better already..."

Sylus sighed heavily, his gaze dropping to where your hand rested on his arm. For a moment, he remained silent, as if grappling with his own emotions. Then, with a resigned sigh, he pressed his face further into your now healed chest. "I can't lose you, y/n..."

As he nestled his face into your chest, you felt his warm breath ghost across your skin, each exhale a reminder of his closeness. He buried his face deeper, inhaling deeply, the scent of you filling his senses, pressing his ear against you to hear the beating of your heart.

"I don't know what I would do…" He murmured, his voice muffled against your breasts. After a moment, he pulled back, looking up at you with those intense crimson eyes. "But I swear, if you ever try to pull another stunt like that… I'll tie you to my damn bed forever."

"Mmm... Kinky..." You joke half-heartedly, stroking his silver hair.

A small, wry smile tugged at the corner of Sylus's lips at your teasing remark, though his eyes still held a serious glint. "Don't think that's funny, sweetie," He warned, his voice a low rumble. "I mean every word."

"You're such a handful, kitten," He grumbled, shaking his head slightly, yet his actions belied his words as he settled further into your embrace. "Always causing trouble, always testing my patience." Despite his stern warning, there was a playful spark in his eye that belied his earlier anger.

"I love you, Sylus..." You breathed softly, nails scratching his head gently.

Sylus groaned in pleasure above you from your antics, "I love you too, sweetie."

He leaned into your touch, letting himself be pampered by your gentle strokes, something about your touch soothing his agitated spirit, his hands reaching your hips, calming himself with the feeling of you as you did the same with him, hands tracing his back, grounding yourself.

[bxlladxnnabxtch]

Devotion & Deceit

Rhysand x Reader

❀​🇲​​🇦​​🇸​​🇹​​🇪​​🇷​​🇱​​🇮​​🇸​​🇹​❀

Summary: Upon learning Rhysand intends to go through with his proposal, you begin to deteriorate. Your mates complete disregard for your concerns leaves you making some brash decisions of your own.

Read pt.1 to Devotion & Deceit - HERE

Read pt.4 - HERE

Warnings: Descriptions of trauma, Panic Attacks, Blood, Depression, Brief mentions of self harm.

You weren’t able to get up out of bed, and despite Azriels visits and multiple attempts, he couldn’t get you up either. Even though the majority of your time was spent in the small bedroom of that log cabin, very little time was spent actually sleeping in it. The miniscule amount of sleep you did get was broken by you jolting awake in the dead of night only to cry until the sun peaked through the cracks of the drapes that remained closed no matter what time of day.

The meals that Azriel brought to you remained ignored and untouched on the nightstand, to be removed by him the next day with a fresh platter in the hopes that you would at least pick through it. On occasion the smell would have you scrambling for the toilet, thin figure peeled over the side as you dry heaved into the bowl. The meals eventually reduced to small snacks the more often it happened, making you feel the slightest hint of guilt which only had you burrowing further into the sheets.

Niliana’s best efforts didn’t seem to shake you either, she’d come by to give you the latest spiel of the gossip in town, or brush out your hair as you laid in bed. She came by every day for the better part of a month, until the work she put off caught up to her, sending the wraith scrambling to catch up. She no longer came by.

Rhys hadn’t sent a word down the bond. Not a flicker of emotion, pain, even a thought. Just.. nothing. He was completely shut off from you. Not like you could complain, you did the exact same to him, going completely MIA.

“Have you two spoken?” Azriel said from the doorway, a glass of water in hand along with a small rag that undoubtedly held more food he wanted you to shove down your throat. Azriel sighed as he saw your eyes fall on the item, a grimace gracing your features. You muttered a soft “no” as he padded towards the bed, hand outstretched in a silent plea for you to sit up.

You groaned, sitting up as you rubbed your eyes, the dark circles surrounding them making you look like you had taken a beating. “I need to change anyways.” You croaked; voice rough as you swung your legs over the side of the bed.

You had visibly lost weight, your legs looking like if you look a step they’d crack under the pressure. You couldn’t bring yourself to care even the slightest bit. Ever since he had chosen her. Left his mate to rot in this stupid log cabin as if you meant nothing to him. Chose her again just like he did Under the Mountain, while Amarantha forced you to watch every night as she danced for him in that skimpy little outfit. But even then, you understood, then you knew that he was doing it for you- doing what was necessary.

What you didn’t understand was this. It had ended, you had run to him in that arena like you had wanted to for fifty years. You had clung to him like he was your lifeline. Five decades of Amarantha using you as her slave, only allowing you to see Rhys when he was tangled up with her. Always by her side.

And he had chosen someone else over you- yet again.

Azriel broke your thoughts by holding out the glass to you, and you rose from the bed, taking it in your frail hands, slightly shaky from the lack of vitamins. You brought it to your mouth, letting the chill of the glass rest on your bottom lip as you swallowed a few mouthfuls of the liquid. It didn’t go down easy, the cold making you recoil slightly as you swallowed the last bit.

You turned back to hand the glass back to Azriel, but he was frozen, face pale as he looked at you. His shadows swarmed him, moving around him in a frenzy, curling towards his ears, flicking around his waist. He stared at the glass you held out to him, and you slowly retracted your hand as you realize he was too caught up in whatever his shadows were whispering to him.

Your face fell, and the corners of your mouth downturned into a poorly concealed frown. “Is she there?” You asked, the question falling out of you before you could do anything to stop it, not that you could’ve. You didn’t know why you needed to know so bad, your body ached with the question, your hand gripping the glass tighter in an unexplainable want.  His mouth opened like he was going to speak, but immediately shut closed as he hesitated. He didn’t need to say it, you knew.

You knew, you always knew.

Something in you snapped, and like a cage being unlocked, a fiery, all-consuming fury burst through the bars and swallowed you whole. The feeling swamped you like a tidal wave, your arm cocking back, barely feeling the glass slipping from your grasp as you sent it soaring straight at the wall.

The glass shattered immediately upon impact, the sound breaking the comforting stillness of the room, making Azriel flinch. Shards of glass and remnants of water were blown back at you, but you couldn’t bring yourself to care as you felt the water drench the front of your shirt. The cloth stuck to your ribcage, the frigid wetness not registering in the slightest. You felt a shard slice your cheek open as it grazed you, and other bits of glass embed themselves into you as you heard the tinkle of the pieces falling to the floor, a few skittering across the ground.

“I’M NOT STAYING HERE!” You roared, hands coming to cradle your head, hands fisted in your hair. You pulled at the roots, clung to them like they’d offer some grain of comfort as your breathing began to speed up. The room was spinning, everything was spinning.

And you were Under the Mountain again- you were cold and wet. It was dark, your cell was too small. You could feel the dirt and grime and how it was caked under your fingernails like the dust had engraved itself onto you. Your matted hair and the feeling of the violent tugs as you ripped it out. But that was your hair- you could feel it between your fingers. You couldn’t breathe- God, why couldn’t you breathe.

“Get your shit together!” Azriel yelled, jolting you as he forced you to stop spiraling, hands clamping down on your wrists as you stilled. His grip dug into your skin, and you finally surfaced from the hurricane in your head enough to realize you were holding clumps of your hair in your hands. The thin strands hung from your fingers like a morbid Solstice decoration, and you vaguely recognized the sting that told you that you had bitten through your bottom lip in your haste.

You stared at him wide eyed, feeling the burn of your tears leaking into the cut on your cheek. You flinched as you felt a drop of blood hit your forearm, and looked down soon enough to watch the crimson run down the expanse towards your elbow. It stained your skin, and you watched as another drop landed right beside it. You were bleeding, you could feel as it ran down your cheek, over your jaw, mingling with the blood that dripped from your lip down your chin.

“Do you think if you destroy yourself enough that he’ll come save you like he did for Feyre?”

It dawned on you then, just how much you had ruined yourself. You had turned into the very thing you had hated Feyre for. The very thing that had Rhys tripping over himself to go and fix, just like he did for her Under the Mountain.

Yet he didn’t come for you.

“I can’t stay here.” You whispered, bottom lip trembling.

“Then you won’t.” Azriel said, letting go of your wrists.

Azriel had helped you calm down and think of what you were going to pack, not that you were taking much with you, the very idea of having anything to remind you of your time here made you want to throw up whatever was left in your stomach. You settled for a small change of clothes, your hands smoothing over the wrinkles as you folded the articles.

“Have you even decided where you’re going?” Azriel asked as he perched on the bed beside you. You shoved the small shirt you were folding into your bag, eyes trailing over to him as he waited on your answer. The drapes had been opened after your breakdown, making the light glint off Azriel’s siphons as he shifted, hands coming to perch on his knees. You shrugged, eyes stinging the slightest bit as they still needed time to adjust to the newly introduced light that you’d been avoiding for weeks. “Home.” You answered simply, finishing shoving your change of clothes into the small pack you now slid over your shoulder.

Azriel bristled, head cocking back as he questioned “The Winter Court?” The dresser at the corner of the room suddenly became very interesting as he made no attempt to hide his concern. “Yep.” You licked your lips, tongue smoothing over the teeth marks that had made a small crater in your bottom lip, the indent making you sigh. “That’s one hell of a flight.” You tucked your knife into the sheath on your thigh, the metal making a grating sound against the studded leather that had you cringing. “It’s not like I could winnow in if I wanted to.”

It's there, then that perhaps Azriel had begun to understand your insatiable need to flee. To leave everything that you had created, the life you’d built, everything that you are. Maybe he had sensed it subconsciously when he had found you that day on the border of the Night Court.

Azriel knew why you couldn’t winnow, it had always been a silent understanding between you two, and exactly the reason he hadn’t touched on it when your training had begun all those years ago. Not that you had gone into detail about what had happened in the middle, what you went through during your journey. But with Azriel being a spymaster, it hadn’t taken him long to fill in the blanks. He knew enough, and he had decided he didn’t need to know anymore- didn’t want to.

But even after you had gotten so used to running, the instinct carved so deep into your blood not even The Mother could undo it, he still had a small pit of anxiety sitting in his stomach that never quite went away. It was out of love, out of an uncontainable fear that history would repeat itself that he swished his hand over towards you, a shadow stirring to life, swirling around your waist and anchoring itself to you.

You watched how it swam and twirled around you, scurrying up your hand and over your arm. “Really?” You had asked, a light, barely there hint of amusement twinged your tone, and he rolled his eyes in response. But when he turned to you, his expression was deadly serious, almost concerned. This man, who had cared for a scared, young Illyrian girl who had somehow crawled her way to the border. Who had taught her how to fly, how to live, how to control the magic that wanted to burst out of her as if it was overflowing. He looked up at you, lips pursed. “You might see her again, you know.” He said, barely a murmur, almost scared that the words he spoke would conjure them to life.

Your eyes flickered to him as you shoved the last dagger into your boot at your heel. “That’s the plan.”

[queenofheartlessdreams]

Scorned Sympathy ( Aegon II Targaryen x Reader)

Fandom: House of the Dragon, Aegon II Targaryen x Fem! Hightower! Reader

Summary: Alicent Hightower's sister has always hated the King, and transversely, he has hated her back. But, that all changes after he returns from Rook's Rest.

Word Count: 3.1k

Warnings: none? I think, I don't know, its HOTD but mostly hurt/comfort and fluff

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They say that burns are a sacred death. The death of  dragon riders, honoring them among the living, and the dead. In his history lessons, Aegon had heard it was peaceful. Yes, there was supposed to be a screaming,  agonizing pain, but as flesh burned away, it took nerve endings with it, leaving them to feel nothing, numb. 

But Aegon hadn't been so lucky, he had only wished he had died back on the battlefield, died on impact of the flames. Then he wouldn't have had to suffer through spiraling to the ground, snapping his bones, or feel his armor being peeled away after it had merged with his flesh. He wouldn't have had to sleep nearly every hour of the day, waking up only to experience excruciating pain, relearning to walk when every step made him cry out in agony. 

The once comforting walls of his bedroom had turned into a torture chamber as he was forced to his feet by the Maesters, only to hobble around the confinements of those walls, good hand gripping the cane with enough force to drive splinters in his hands and cause his knuckles to turn white.

He cried out as the Maester pushed him into another step, holding him upright as best he could. Larys Strong stood in the patch of sunlight in the room, giving him an angelic halo, ironic as it was his devilish idea to make Aegon start walking so soon, only weeks after he had returned to the Red Keep.  

"Impressive," the club-footed man says, heads turning in his direction, "But I'm afraid you must work harder."

Aegon screams as Larys reaches around his other arm, cries of pain sounding like twisted laughter as together, they move him another step. Burned tissue stretched as they did, a blinding pain seeping through his barely-healed broken leg. 

The men pause in their persistence as the large bedroom doors swing open, silver-draped guards pushing them back to reveal the figure of Y/N, the youngest Hightower daughter. Her frame was draped in a long black gown, tied around her center with a golden chain that stopped several inches above the hem of her skirts. Long copper hair draped down her back, just as her eldest sister, yet that was where the similarities stopped. 

While Alicent was looked up to, a regal Queen of the realm, her sister had all but denounced her high-blood status, working in the streets as a herbalist, giving medicine to the poor, healing wounds, and delivering children. It wasn't until Viserys had died that Alicent welcomed her into the castle, for her protection, she had explained, though no man nor woman would dare to touch the 'witch'.

"Return the King to his bed, my Lords," the woman says, striding into the room, hands folded neatly in front of her gown. 

"The King must regain his strength, my Lady, he must practice," Lord Larys calls over his shoulder, dismissing her command.

Y/N smiles curtly at his defiance, "How would you like to disfigure your other foot, Lord Layrs?"

The man stops, struggling out from underneath the King's arm, "The King-"

"The King is too busy moaning in agony to give a shit about what you think," the woman interrupts, a boldness frowned upon in the castle, "Return him to bed, and leave us. I'm sure there are whispers to attend to."

Reluctantly, the Maester carries Aegon to his bed, allowing him to fall back onto the sanction of his covers. The Maester moves to lift the King's legs, despite his protests, earning a painful cry as they hit his sheets.

Vhisrya watches as the King rolls to his untainted side, arms curled up against his chest in defeat, body trembling as whimpers escape his scarred lips. The Maester exits quickly, Lord Larys slowly following, glaring at her with every step. It is only when she hears the large doors latch shut behind the men that she makes her way over to the King's bedside. He resembled a small child more than a man, curled around himself in loosely fitted clothes, eyes squeezed shut as his body shook.

He takes a ragged breath as he senses her presence beside him, eyes opening just the slightest to glare at the black-clothed woman, "Come to finish me off, witch?"

The witch makes no remark against him, only motioning for the boy to sit upright in the bed. He does so, grunting in pain, bracing himself on his good arm as he slides up to prop his back against the headboard. 

Y/N makes note of his trembling hands, the way he still insisted on putting up a bitter front despite not being able to move even a foot without collapsing in pain. It reminded her of his father. 

Regardless, she reaches for the buttons of his nightgown, pulling them apart hastily till his chest was exposed. Blistering red wounds stretched across the expanse of his left side, charred and black in some places, while in others, the skin had been cut away in jagged marks from separating melted armor from the King's flesh. 

"What-what are you doing?" Aegon trembles, fear lacing his voice. 

The woman's eyes move from his chest, to his face. He watched as they drifted from his swollen eyelid, to the top of his head, where silvery-blonde hair parted from vibrant burns, to where his ear once was, reduced now to a small lump that opened into his eardrum. He knew it was hideous, he wouldn't lie to himself, trying to persuade his own mind that he was still the beautiful boy the kingdom worshiped. He knew that if he healed, he couldn't even be seen in a pleasure house, not even the whores wanting to be fucked by a monster such as himself.

"Your grace?"

A soft voice draws him out of his own mind, one that was nearly unrecognizable coming from the woman beside him, "I have an ointment, one that should assist in healing your burns. But, I require you to remove your sleeves."

"Can't", Aegon grunts, talking becoming an exhaustion.

"I can assist you," the woman cooes, dragging the soiled fabric down his good arm first.

Aegon whimpers as her hand moves to his burned side, gently peeling the fabric from his neck, then down his shoulder, drawing near his bicep. He could feel the fabric stick to his skin, the pus that leaked from his wounds drying, attaching itself to the coarse fabric.

"I'm going to lift your arm," the woman says, earning a series of pleading "no"'s as she does.

The prince groans in pain, feeling the blistering skin stretch, muscle burning as she peeled the fabric away from his body, letting it pool around his waist.

Y/N could see the King's murderous gaze as she finished, pulling his arm back immediately, heavy breaths filling his chest, followed by shaking exhales. 

She makes haste, placing a mortar on the nearby table, filling it with oils and herbs, grinding it till the scent fills the room, overwhelmed by lavender. The King watches as she pulls a small vial from the pocket of her dress, opening it to reveal a nearly clear, thick liquid.

"What is that?" the King asks, the filth of his mind overpowering common sense.

Y/N looks back to the burned man, unaware he was watching her, "It's dragon saliva. Something in it prevents the dragons from being burned when they breathe fire, and proves itself to assist the healing process quicker than the Maester's brew alone. It only took me so long to bring it to you as your brother won't let me near his dragon, Sunfyre has not returned from Rook's Rest, and Helaena won't speak to me as she thinks I had something to do with your son's beheading."

Her last words come out as an aggravated shout, making the boy flinch. With a deep breath, she regains herself, carrying the mortar to his bedside, black dress fanning out on the sheets beside him, "I apologize, your Grace. You all think of me as some plague here to ruin the sanction of your home, yet Alicent refuses to let me leave the castle walls."

It was strange, hearing his mother's name be used so plainly, everyone else referred to her as the Queen, even Aemond and him referred to her as  "your Grace". 

Aegon clears this throat as the woman begins to spread the paste across his chest. It burned at first, but not to the level of the Maester's concoction. Perhaps dragon saliva was the key.

"She believes you would flee to Rhaenyra, aid her conquest for the crown," he grunts, intently gazing at the greenish mixture spread across his skin.

"And she is right," Y/N states plainly, "Rhaenyra is the rightful heir to the Iron Throne, and you have usurped her crown."

"I could have your head for that," Aegon jokes, a faint smile, one of the first since he had returned, spreading across his lips. 

The woman smiles back, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear as she continues to coat his torso, " I could have already had yours."

"Why haven't you, then?"

The hand that holds the brush hesitates, as Y/N searches for an answer. In all honesty, she has had many opportunities to kill the man, yet the thought never truly crossed her mind. She takes a deep breath before continuing her strokes, "You may be a monster- the sins you have committed are so terrible that you'd burst into flames if you ever set foot in the Sept. But, I know you did not choose to be King, just as I did not choose to waste away in this castle. I do not wish to punish you for something you cannot control, you have suffered enough."

Aegon says nothing, only faint whimpers coming from his lips. His breathing stilled as the woman traced a line of ointment across his face, delicately placing it across the edge where untouched skin met charred flesh. His body jolts as she accidentally brushes over an open wound on his cheekbone, where his helmet had melted, merging itself with his flesh. Despite how careful the Maester had been when removing it, deep gashes still marred his face. 

The King yelps in pain, eyes shut as the oils burn their way through his open wound, sending a new wave of intense pain across his face. His body curls against itself, a position he found himself in more and more often these days. But rather than digging the nails of his good hand into the palm of his fist, he found a softer, more delicate hand in his , softly stroking the back of his hand with her thumb, "I'm sorry."

Aegon whimpers, the comfort of her touch calming the scarred boy. It was rare that he obtained touches like these, not even from his mother, despite how much she claimed she loved him. No, she was more focused on being Queen than being a mother.  His wife was the same way, more fascinated with her bugs than her husband, only laying with him when they were forced to produce an heir, before returning to her own quarters in solitude. He would watch Helaena with their own children, interacting with them, holding them, reading to them, only wishing that his mother had done the same. 

So Aegon welcomes the warmth of the witch, clutching her hand with the intention to never let go until his scars had healed and he could hold his head with as much dignity as a true king. "Tell me a story," Aegon whispers, distracting himself from the pain that stretched across his body with every breath.

Y/N smirks, placing the mortar between her legs so she could continue placing the ointment with his hand still clutching her own. 

"Once upon a time, there was a beautiful Princess, who was locked away in a tower guarded by a fierce dragon. Her parents, the King and Queen, missed her dearly, and declared that any knight who were to rescue her from the dragon's keep, would marry the lovely Princess.

Not far from the kingdom lived a beast, alone. He was happy that way, till a power-hungry Lord wished to take the beast's land for himself. Upset, the beast made a deal with the Lord, in exchange for his land, the beast would rescue the Princess from her dragon's keep, so the Lord may marry her. True to his word, the beast saved the girl, yet as they traveled back to the Lord's castle, the beast found himself falling in love with the Princess."

Beside her, Aegon's breath slows, muscles relaxing against her grip, yet his violet eyes stay fixated on the woman. He listens to her intently, soft voice ringing through the silent room, as airy as wind blowing his curtains in the night. 

"One night," Y/N continues, brushing the ointment across his scarred forearm, "The beast sought to confront the Princess, yet when he came to her cabin, he heard vile words coming from her mouth, ones solely describing such a monster as the beast. Furious, he gave her to the Lord, returning to his swamp alone. Yet, he couldn't forget the Princess, as even if she despised him, he loved her. So, he returned to the Lord's castle the night of the wedding.

As the sun fell that night, the beast watched as the beloved Princess transformed before his eyes, to a beast herself. Cursed by a witch many years before, the Princess turned ugly, monstrous, every night, the curse only to be broken by true love's kiss.

Together, the beast and the Princess slayed the Lord, and wed that night. Yet, when she kissed the beast, her appearance remained disfigured. The Princess then realized, that love's truest form was not based in beauty, but in happiness. She returned to the swamp with her beloved beast, and the two lived happily ever after."

Vhisrya finished her story with a smile, placing the brush back in the mortar. She looks down at the King, whose eyes were shut. For a moment, she thinks he has fallen asleep, but Aegon grunts, indicating he is still conscious, "Was there a moral to that story?"

He had only thought of the question after listening to one of Jaehaerys's lessons, one of the few times he was sober while the sun was still high in the sky. It made him feel like a child himself, curled along his tutor's side as she read him tales of past Kings.

The woman beside him rolls her eyes, placing her hand atop his own, "The moral is that even though someone may appear hideous, it does not make them a beast."

A deep flush overtakes Aegon's body, understanding her words. Still, he purses his swollen lips, "What if one's insides are as hideous- as hideous as their outsides?"

"Then that is truly a monster," Y/N replies, watching as the boy's face turns to a scowl.

A few moments of silence pass before the woman lets out a heavy sigh, "The beast was known for killing villagers set foot near his swamp, yet after he rescued his bride, he never killed again. He changed, Aegon, and you can too."

A chill is sent up Aegon's spine when she says his name. Like the rest of his court, she only addressed him "your Grace", and even when she did refer to him indirectly as "King Aegon", spite laced her words, bitter as poison. In every sober moment he had believed that she had hated him, yet her presence and aid in his time of need dismissed the notion from his mind entirely. 

Not even his mother had looked at him for this long, or made conversation so kind. Aegon had seen her, several times, hovering behind the Maester's as they tended to his wounds, yet she never dared to approach him, so close to his gnarled flesh. He couldn't blame her, he knew it was hideous, and the Queen's stomach was not meant to see such obscenities. 

In all honestly, neither should Y/N, but her previous line of work made her accustomed to such sights. The King swallows thickly, pain stretching up the left side of his neck, causing him to let out a small whimper. 

He feels the woman's hand stroke through his matted hair, hair that hasn't been brushed, or even washed in days. It shamed him, that he was incapable of keeping up his own appearance, needing the hands of servants to take the place of his own in combing his hair, washing him, dressing him, feeding him. 

"Will you stay with me tonight?" he whispers, discarding the last bit of dignity he held.

Y/N looked to the boy below her. There was a vulnerability in his eyes that she had never seen before, a glisten of sadness, despair, hopelessness. "Of course."

Aegon grunts as the weight shifts on the bed as she lays beside him, on his good side, not wanting to damage him in his slumber. The tormented King watches as she discards her jewelry on the furthest bedside table before fluffing a pillow to join him in the bed. Her long hair splays across the pillow as she grasps his hand, leaving several inches between the two of them. 

"Come closer," Aegon pleads, pulling gently on her hand, as much as his muscles would allow without excruciating pain.

"I don't want to harm you," Y/N says quickly, concerned etched in her features. 

"You won't" Aegon replies, sinking into the warmth of her body pressed against his own.

His body aches from his burns, the ointment only soothing his pain so much. It was nights like this, when Aegon couldn't sleep, when his body caused him so much trouble that he trembled and moaned until the morning sun rose. But as he curled against the woman, his pain began to subdue. He knew it wasn't literal, that her presence made his hurt go away, but he wished to believe it that simple, that she was his cure.

Y/N listened to his wheezing breaths slow as she held him, hand tight in her own. She felt the King's nose bury itself against the nape of her neck, a small grunt escaping his lips. She could feel his  chest rise and fall against her own as the King falls into a dreamless slumber. 

Darkness fills the room as the final candle burns low, the witch finally closing her eyes for her own rest, holding the broken, tortured boy in her arms, keeping him safe through the night. 

[corpsekiller]

i saw your halloween headcanon post from earlier and i just had to to drop this here — bakugou dressed up as ghostface from scream. that's it, this is the only thing going through my head😩

girl, you're so real for this. i've already read so many fics with this trope, but katsuki would definitely also dress up as ghostface on halloween. thank you so much for sending this ask, my love <3 i loved writing this dkksjsksla

PAIRING. ghostface!katsuki bakugou x genderneutral!reader

WARNINGS. a lot sexual tension, that's it

MASTERLIST

It's strangely quiet.

Your kitchen is dimly lit, the only source of light are the candles flickering auspiciously on your bedside table and the occasional colorful strobe of your decorations you've placed on your windowsill next to a carved pumpkin and some skeleton figurines you've found in a neat little store a while ago.

You're not sure where Katsuki is — he was supposed to pick you up for the party Mina is throwing at her place, but one glance at the clock steadily ticking on the wall above your bed tells you that he's already fifteen minutes late. It's odd, really, because he's always on time, considers punctuality almost as important as strength and victory during battle and yet, here you are, waiting for him as you stuff candy into your bag in preparation for this evening.

There's a faint memory of him mentioning that he wouldn't dress up, ignoring your pleads to wear matching costumes with a dismissive wave of his hand and a typical frown, muttering something about over my dead body and dressing up is only for kids, dumbass, so it doesn't make much sense to justify his unlike tardiness with the lame excuse of him just struggling with his costume.

"Where's that idiot?" You mutter with an exasperated sigh, gently tugging on the hem of your flimsy costume to readjust the fabric before reaching for your phone to text your boyfriend. Just as you're about to open your chats and type your message, a gloved hand snakes around your waist and pulls you back against someone standing behind you.

For a fleeting moment, your heart skips a beat. Then it begins to pound against your ribs — hectical and painful like a small frightened animal caught in the sharp canines of a predator — and your mouth falls open to cry out for help, but no sound dares to leave your trembling lips.

"Did I scare you?" His voice is low, a rough whisper that reverberates in his chest as he pulls you flush against his body, slowly leaning down until the smooth surface of his mask is pressed against your heated cheeks before he continues to speak. "Thought you'd just get away without giving me something sweet and call it a night, huh?"

Carefully, you turn your head and look up at him — hollow eyes and a distorted mouth locked in a permanent scream glare back at you, though the tension finally leaves your limbs and you sigh in relief, almost burst into laughter at your stupidly terrified reaction to his costume. You really must've watched too many horror movies over the span of the last few weeks if you're unable to recognize your own boyfriend.

Because now that you pay attention to the way he grabs your waist, almost possessive in a certain way, you just know his touch — strong, confident, so unmistakably Katsuki.

You squirm in his grip, meekly attempting to fully turn around to face him, but his grasp on your waist only tightens. A whimper leaves your lips, a quiet sound that causes him to chuckle as his hand trails up to tilt your chin, turning your head so you can look at him again.

"No, I don't think so. You're stayin' right here, got it?" His thumb brushes along your jaw, slow and almost tender. Even with the mask on, you can feel his smirk, can imagine the devilish grin that pulls on the corners of his mouth as he keeps you trapped between the kitchen counter and his body without a chance to escape

Though you're not sure you really want to.

"You like it, don't you?" He drawls, tilting his head to get a better look at you — although you can't see his eyes, his gaze seems to burn on your skin and you can't help the violent blush that tints your cheek in a shade of pink. There's a certain edge to his voice too, taunting and dangerous, almost sadistic if you listen close enough, as if he's enjoying the anticipation etched into the soft furrow of your brows, the sheer power he has over you and your body. "You like that I've got you cornered... nowhere to run?"

Oh, this is just a game for him and you've fallen right into his trap.

"Maybe," you reply, barely above a whisper, though you can't help but smile just a little.

"Maybe, huh?" He murmurs, a soft laugh escaping him as he lets his gloved hand wander from your cheek to your neck, lingering there for just a moment before his fingers slowly close around your throat. He doesn't squeeze, not yet, only lets you feel the weight of his hand, but it's enough to send a shiver down your spine. “Better be sure about it. Because now that I've got my hands on you, I won’t let you go.”

With one smooth motion, he pulls the mask up just enough to reveal his face—- the crimson of his eyes has darkened, pupils blown with something you can only describe as hunger and his lips are pulled into a sinister smile that bares all his teeth. There's a moment of silence, then he pulls you into a bruising kiss that punches the air out of your lungs and causes your knees to buckle under the weight of your body until the only thing that is holding you on your own two feet is none other than your boyfriend.

After what feels like half an eternity, Katsuki pulls away. Your head spins with the lack of oxygen, your legs are shaking and yet you can't help but reach out to dig your fingers into the fabric of his costume, roughly yanking him back for another kiss that leaves you just as breathless as the first one.

“Do you really think I'm done with you yet?" He whispers, voice a low rumble, before slipping the mask back down. "You have no idea what I've planned for you...Happy Halloween, babe."

[thejakeformerlyknownasprince]

Longtime reader and fan (thank you for existing and sharing your writing!) first time asker, prompted by watching the movie The Martian: what if the team went on a mission out in space, during the war or after, and accidentally left someone behind on a planet? I can't decide who it would be worse for it to happen to, and whether being able to morph would really be helpful. Maybe it's a funny no-big when you have alien space travel, I suppose

Ooh, I think it all depends on who got left behind.

Ax: We know from canon that he can get by while stranded on an alien planet without either dying or losing his mind. That said, Ax also desperately needs company and doesn't do well alone. When he's stuck in the Dome ship, he gets to the point of hallucinations and memory problems from the isolation (MM4). So Ax would probably figure out how to get a potato farm or other food supply going — he's very good at cobbling together solutions from limited technology — and he would be able to fix things that went wrong for a time.

But Ax better find that Rover and get it talking to an Earth satellite as fast as he can, if he's the one stranded. And he hopefully wouldn't make a mistake that results in it frying. If he does, then Ax would have the greatest risk of just losing the plot. That could mean falling into a depression so bad he stops maintaining his food supply, becoming so anxious he can't do EVAs anymore, developing psychosis and losing track of reality, or any number of other ways that his brain could start eating itself. But if he does end up with any kind of major overwhelming stressor, then he's probably screwed. It's not like there's a way to do therapy through a 2-message-an-hour Rover running on Morse code, and I doubt(?) NASA would've sent antidepressants in their limited weight supply.

Jake: Would go the same way as Ax, but a lot faster. He wouldn't consider himself worth risking others' lives to rescue, he wouldn't have the necessary mental flexibility to engineer himself a long-term survival solution, and he wouldn't be able to remain sane with no one to talk to. I don't think he'd actually die by suicide. I think he'd just curl up in bed and eat 3x a day until he ran out of MREs, and then gradually slip away.

Marco: Easily the best equipped to survive over a year alone on Mars. Name puns aside, he's the most Mark Watney-ish of the Animorphs. He can laugh as he's crying, he can entertain himself, he can think through problems quickly, and he can charm the media of planet Earth enough to convince NASA to mount a rescue expedition.

Marco would start talking to himself the moment he wakes up alone, and he wouldn't stop talking until he was finally back on the spaceship. He'd try so hard to be cool and tough in the logs, insisting on not really being scared, not really being hungry or in pain, until you could almost believe him. If something breaks, Marco will take it apart and fix it. If he risks dying in the process of fixing the broken water purifier or oxygen system, then he's going to run straight at it with manic determination to make his death at least entertaining for the folks at home.

Of course, Marco might also be the most upsetting one for the other Animorphs to realize they've left behind. Rather than trying to make the others feel better about having made an honest mistake in the process of trying to save their own lives, he'd be making jokes about how he was five minutes late for the school bus and yet they still left him on the field trip, or he knew that Jake found him annoying but never realized he was that annoying. Which would only make the whole team feel way worse about the fact that they left him for dead and nearly let him die for real.

Cassie: Would do all the science she could, with the opportunity she'd been given. She would carefully log the rock samples she found, take extensive notes on her processes, and use up every single sample container and scrap of disc space she had left on her observations. Then she'd go out somewhere beautiful, eat one last MRE and watch one last Earthrise, and take off her helmet.

Tobias: Probably second-best equipped psychologically to spend all that time in survival mode. Like Ax, Tobias is prone to mental illness and so risks not being able to keep going through all the relentless misery and stress, but Tobias is also a solitary creature at heart. And Tobias isn't afraid to do what it takes to survive, as long as he's not hurting anyone else in the process. So he wouldn't make contacting Earth a priority (except to make it clear that he needs rescue) and he would be okay with a tiny trickle of communication with his fellow humans that eventually gets cut off.

However, Tobias is also a lot more... rigid in planning, I guess? He doesn't have Ax's or Marco's "try anything" attitude. He makes rules for himself, and then he follows them, even to the point of risking death. He tends to obsess over taking the right course of action no matter what, and spends a ton of time considering what right would be in any given situation. Like, he's got more functional fixedness than Marco or Cassie, which could be bad if his only option for survival is to make a sock and a paperback book cover into a makeshift CO2 filter. So I think Tobias would handle the isolation best of anyone on the team, but risks not handling the 40,000 random engineering problems that come from using a tent meant for 6 people over 2 weeks as a home for 18 months.

Tobias would also be extremely upsetting for the other Animorphs to have left behind. His role on the team is classic break the cutie, where anything bad happening to him is utterly devastating for all his friends in a way it wouldn't be to have Rachel or Jake suffer a similar fate. If there's anyone that the team would risk cannibalism and death to return to Mars for, it's him.

Rachel: It's hard to say if impulsivity is more of a bonus or a drawback here. Rachel has never taken anything lying down in her life, ever, and she'd be offended by the idea of some stupid dusty planet getting the better of her. She would fight with every iota of her being to survive, fighting airlock failure and potato rot and oxygen leaks and water system clogs.

But. Impulsivity. If that means she tries anything, tries everything, until a solution works, then excellent. If that means she gets fed up with the process of survival, less good. If that means she says screw it and eats when she's hungry, doubleplusungood.

[amica-aenigmata-naboo]

Not to Me

Christian Yu/Mito x Y/N - drabble - 861 WC

Masterlist

Warnings: TW! mention of suicidal ideation, depression, fear, fluff, comfort, jealousy, hugs and kisses for the special bb boy, so much love its almost gross

-----------------------------------

Christian watched from across the room as you spoke to Da-bin. You laughed, hard. You playfully shoved him, almost spilling your champagne. Christian sat in the shadows, the party for the Dream Reborn World Tour was in full swing and had been for hours. Christian was exhausted and defeated. His whole heart had gone into getting the tour going. He had rarely seen you over the past two months and you were nothing but understanding. Yet he couldn’t help but feel like the long hours had put a wedge in your relationship and it was all his fault. So there he sat, watching you and his band member talk. He knew in his soul you would never cheat on him, but that didn’t make him any less jealous. Didn’t make him want to somehow fix it all and beg for you to stay. He could feel Mito inside, aching to take over. He fought so hard to be himself while all this was going on, to be normal. But he was losing the fight; he stood up slinking out of the venue. He lit a cigarette as he walked through the city, wandering back towards your shared apartment. At some point during the walk it wasn’t Christian moving, it was Mito. He had no idea how he ended up at the Han River but he did. Even worse, he was looking over the edge of the bridge into the deep blue below. He leaned in, closer to the edge. His foot slipped, a shoe coming off and pulling him back into reality. He stepped away from the edge, stumbling backwards before deciding to run home. Even Mito was scared of the hasty decision he might make. Once home he collapsed in your shared bed, wanting to escape his own mind.

--------------------------------------

“Christian?!” you screamed as you bolted through the front door.

Mito woke up with a start; why did you sound so panicked? He sat up, stretching a bit before the bedroom door flew open and startled him. 

“Oh my god…” you sobbed, running to him and engulfing him in a bone crushing hug. 

He felt confused but hugged you back instantly, “Baby? What’s wrong?” 

You leaned back, your voice sounding angry but also pained, “What’s wrong? What’s wrong? Are you kidding me??” you said searching his face.

He looked genuinely confused.

“I have been calling you since I saw you slip out for a smoke at the party. I thought you might want some space so I didn’t follow you but then… then you didn’t come back.” you said, eyes becoming big and round. “I called you so many times… you never answered. I got nervous and left the party. I walked home just in case. And what do I find at the fucking Han River? Your fucking shoe!” you said, hitting him in the chest as your tears pick back up. 

Oh. He understood now. “You… you thought I…” he gulped.

“I thought you jumped!” you yelled at him. You weren’t angry and he knew that, you were worried to death. “The only reason there isn’t a S.W.A.T. team searching for your ass is because I checked your location!” you hit his chest once again.

You took a breath, trying to steady yourself.

“I thought… I thought you were dead.” you cried, holding his face in your hands just to confirm to yourself that he was real and there with you, not at the bottom of a river. 

Mito kissed over your cheeks, catching your tears on his lips. He felt himself crying. Not only because of the fear he instilled in you but the fact that your nightmare had crossed his mind as an idea just hours previously. He felt ashamed and the question of why you were with him drowned his mind. “I’m ok…” was all he could think to say - over and over again until your sobs turned into sniffles. 

“I love you,” you said, “Don’t ever fucking scare me like that again.” you said in all seriousness. The way your heart dropped when you saw his shoe on the side of the bridge. It felt like your soul was ripped out. You had never rushed home so fast after picking up his distinct shoe (the one you painted red hearts on). You felt some relief when his location was current and said your shared address but that didn’t stop your mind from racing with all the other horrible things that could be happening to him. 

“I’m sorry…” he whispered, “I love you too… I don’t understand…” you could barely hear the last part. 

“Don’t understand what?” you said, thumbing over his cheeks. 

“Why do you love me?” he asked. His eyes looked so pained, so full of fear. 

You smiled at him softly, “You are my happiness. My sun, moon, and stars. Everything fades into background noise with you. You’re all I want and all I’ll ever need.” you said, sounding so sure of yourself and the decision to love him.

“It’s rotten work loving me,” he said.

“Not to me.” you assured him, kissing him so passionately it took his breath away.

-----------------------------

Naboo's Note:

Two requests in one fic! Hello all, sorry for the little break, life was life-ing and got very busy very fast. I hope to post more but there will be another community update soon that I think would be helpful to read so I don't get anyones hopes up too high. Thanks for sticking around, XOXOXOXOXOXO!!!!!!!!!

[lisbeth-kk]

Sherlock fandom. Part 1 Part 2

A Girl’s Touch

Thunder and lightning wakes John. The wind is making the windowpanes rattle. He is icy cold. On his left wrist an icicle feels his pulse point.

“That’s insane and you know it,” he scolds himself.

“John.”

He knows that voice. Would recognise it anywhere.

“Sherlock?” he croaks and opens his eyes. “What the hell happened?”

To John’s astonishment he’s lying in the bed where he found Sherlock, who sits crossed legged by his side. The icicle is in fact Sherlock’s thumb, still holding on to John’s wrist. John tries to focus on that beloved face, but his vision is quite blurry.

“It takes a while getting used to. Close your eyes and rest,” Sherlock says softly and squeezes John’s hand.

“But what about – “

“Later, John.”

***

His shoulder is on fire. Not literally but it certainly feels like it. John didn’t see the sniper. The pain is a shock. It’s a violent sort of pain. He can almost hear the damage the bullet did to him.

The cane. Where is his cane? He needs it. Instead, his gun is in his hand. What does he need a gun for? With narrowed eyes, he peers out of the window and over to the opposite building. Sherlock! He is about to take that bloody pill. The cabbie is watching him intently, holding a similar capsule. John fires the gun.

Sherlock is standing on the roof of Barts. He stretches out his arms. The image of a gigantic bat fills John’s mind. Sherlock jumps.

A fourposter bed with green curtains. Like a male Snow White, Sherlock lies on the bed. Dark curls against white pillows. His pale face is reminiscent of marble. Sherlock’s lips aren’t pink anymore, but pale like his face and tinted with blue. Dead.

***

John wakes with a cry, but although he lies in a comfortable bed, he’s cold. To the bone. Still, he doesn’t freeze or shiver. Sherlock’s chilly presence is comforting. He’s still holding his thumb over John’s pulse point. John tries to steady himself, which takes no effort at all, surprisingly enough. There’s no racing heart or thudding pulse to fill the silence. Only serene and eerie soundlessness.

“Have you figured it out yet, John?” Sherlock asks.

“What do you mean, Sherlock?” 

“Observe,” the detective commands.

Cold, but not freezing. Feeling a calmness that should be unsettling but isn’t. No heartbeats, ergo no pulse. Dead.

The panic that normally would rise in him, is blessedly absent. He looks up at Sherlock, who smiles at him. Fondly. Which should be terrifying but isn’t. 

“I knew you’d get there,” Sherlock says and lies down beside John.

“We’re dead,” John states flatly.

“Indeed,” Sherlock agrees.

“How did it happen?” John wants to know.

It’s liberating and a tad bit unnerving to feel so calm. Like, there’s nothing more to worry about. Which is true. Nothing can hurt him or Sherlock anymore now. 

Lightning strikes, illuminating Sherlock’s face. A smile forms on his lips, and John knows that if he was alive, a flood of relief would’ve washed over him.

“The little girl’s touch did it,” Sherlock says. “She must have touched you too after you realised it was me lying here.”

“What little girl?” John asks bewildered.

“The East Wind, John. Do keep up!”

The exasperation in Sherlock’s voice almost makes John laugh.

“Nobody’s called that, Sherlock! Besides, there was no girl.”

“Yes, and yes, John. She told me it was her name. You should know better than to think I'm making stuff up like this.”

Sherlock looks indignant and withdraws to the other side of the bed.

“He truly believes what he’s saying,” John thinks to himself.

He reaches out his hand to touch Sherlock’s upper arm. Sherlock is stiff like the poles surrounding the bed.

“Hey,” John says quietly. “I’m sorry I didn’t believe you, but I haven’t seen anyone but you since we sat foot in this godforsaken place.”

“She likes to sit in the rocking chair in the nursery,” Sherlock mumbles.

John startles when the wind increases. Outside something cracks, followed by a heavy thud. It sounds like a large branch has fallen to the ground. Hit by lightning possibly.

John plays Sherlock’s words in his head once more: “She likes to sit in the rocking chair in the nursery.”

The chair that moved. The girl sat in it when John was in there!

“I saw the chair move, but I couldn’t see her,” John explains.

“Pity. She’s quite mischievous. Reminds me of myself when I was a boy. The name too. Peculiar, like mine and Mycroft’s,” Sherlock muses.

“The East Wind is even more – “

“Not that. What it means in Greek. Her name is Eurus.”

THE END

--------------------------------------------------------------

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[technologyculturedneo]

icantfeelanything. Lee Donghyuck

“I don’t want to leave him! He’s mine and I am his!”

PAIRING(s). Donghyuck X Reader X Chenle

SUMMARY. Your whole world comes to an end when your knocked over by a car and are proclaimed dead. Yet you wake up in a different space, your boyfriend, Donghyuck’s mind. You are met with a furious ‘Memory Keeper’ Mr Zhong who tries to force you out. You’re reluctant to leave simply because he wants Donghyuck to move on from losing you. However, that is something you refuse to do as long as you're in his mind.

-Dreamscape Masterlist-

20:36 p.m.

It happens quickly. So quick that only a second goes by. So swiftly that you watch your soul fighting to remain intact to your body.

One minute you're running across the street with the biggest grin on your face, without any fear in the quiet road. The next moment your body is collided by such brute force that instantly you feel the cracks and punctures piercing out through your bone and body. Surging- high up in the air bitterly painful but beautifully dead- in pain you hear a splat sound as you fall and hit the pavement floors! It takes a millisecond to lose sight, but you see red. Your vision goes blurry, your eyelids shut involuntarily, your rapture your ears- eardrums beating promptly and briskly only causing you to hear muffling sounds. A spike sound has your heartbeat pounding so loud that your ears fight not to burst. Through it all, through this moment… that moment on the cold night, the paved road, you make out your boyfriend's state of worry. But even though you hear him... your body can't move.

Hyuck...

Parched lips, blood over your eyes, shivering with pain bruising all over your body. Your flickering eyes and palpable sense of lack in body motions has you worried – especially when you see your own steadfast boyfriend rushing to your side in panic and horror.

"You're going....to...ok-"

Your mind goes blank. Quiet. That quiet is scary as you fight to open your eyes. Nothing but pain spikes your attention again.

When you open your eyes again, you're almost blinded by all the light. Hyuck…

You’re confused to see his tears, to hear his voice that's fading in and out of your ears. It’s painful. You just want to close your eyes, but the sight of the heavy tears rolling down his eyes has you… fighting.  He’s crying hysterically moving his lips in haste, talking words you can’t hear. The pain is too much. Your heart strains, but you can’t find the strength to open your heavy eyes and look at him anymore. Your heart beating hysterically.

No.

Your mind gets blurry each and every time you try to open your eyes. But all you can see aside from waves of dizziness and blood, is your boyfriend. Broken and just so… broken. Hyuck… You try to move your hand, but it’s heavy. You try to move your lips, but their sore. You try to lift your head but you can’t feel nothing but the pain, you TRY to do something! You try so hard to even catch a beat of your heart, but your body doesn’t respond, your mind feels detached, your whole soul feels light as it leaves your body! No!- you only see his tears when you close your eyes after fighting for so long. A single stream leaves your own eye.

Donghyuck runs rapidly by the nurses’ side pushing forward the trolley bed with your unconscious body. He holds onto your bloodied hand unable to control his breathing. The tears are just as fast as his words, and his legs levitate with the speed he’s at. “You’re okay, you’re okay. You’re going to be okay, just hold on, hold on baby. Please hold on. Don’t leave, don’t leave. Please stay, please stay, baby please. I’m here, I’m here, I’m right here, please be okay, please please please, please- PLEASE!”

“I’m sorry sir, but you can’t go past this point,” A nurse cuts him from your hand, holding him back with another nurse trying to restrain his movements while the other nurses continue to hurry in pushing the trolley forward.

“Please you- I need to be there! I need to be by her side-” Donghyuck’s legs that try to get past the nurse becomes heavy and he thumps down on the ground watching your bed disappear after turning a corner. He barely shouts out clinging to his shirt that's bloodied and hands stained with your blood. He can only see red. He's finding it hard to breathe, his chest feels tight, his breathing is irregular and the damn tears won’t stop flowing out his eyes. 

The nurses’ voices fade away when he recalls all that happened just hours ago. He heard your yelp seconds before the accident. One second, you were there grinning and running to him, and out of nowhere your body was suddenly ‘kicked’ high in the cold dark air- flying like a ball with such speed he only saw in cartoons. His soul felt like it had been struck by lightning, because the moment he ran- he felt as though he would burn and die by how fast he got to you. His only priority was you – there was nothing else in his head but your wellbeing. The flying image of your body, the excruciating sound he heard when the car almost drove over your lifeless body, and how your hands struggled to hold onto him, made him hysterical.

"Please Y/n, you can't die. Stay."

You had to survive, you had to survive for him. You had to survive, you couldn’t just go, you couldn’t just go like that. There was so much that was left unsaid, so many feelings he wanted to express to you. So many things he wanted to share with you. You had to survive because of all the things you and him had planned out. He only had you in his life. He only had you.

With haste again, Donghyuck runs to the seriously firm and sturdy Doctor that approaches him. The doctor notices the dried blood stains over Donghyuck's shirt (possibly your blood) and he can tell that he might be the boyfriend that the nurse told him about. The doctor can see the trauma going through Donghyuck's eyes covered in a failing smile.

“Yes Doctor? How is she? She’s fine right? She’s okay right? S-she’s fine, I know she is. She’s a survivor. She’s a fighter, she’s my girl, she can’t die. She’s okay right. Oh my god, I knew it. Good because her brother, her brother is here-”

Donghyuck rambles on with an anxious positive spirit. He was positive that you survived, because he knew you, you weren’t the type to go down without fighting, fighting for life…fighting for him. The doctor watches on with a stale face but it slowly falls away and becomes filled with dismay and melancholy. He watches how Donghyuck has a wounded smile, with tears that prickle underneath his eyes, as he motions for Mark to come over. The doctor and Mark both see right through Donghyuck’s smile for the pain that’s truly building up in him.

“Mark, Mark, please come. Please tell the Doctor about your sister, she’s incredible and is alive, right?” Donghyuck prompts, avoiding the Doctor’s eyes that already said the words he didn't want to hear.

Donghyuck grins brightly at the doctor, the tears already falling down his eyes.

“Doctor, why aren’t you saying anything? Please say something. Tell us good news,”

Donghyuck’s smile twitches as he stares at the Doctor. His tongue begins to heavily tremble, when the male Doctor looks down.

As if possessed Donghyuck grabs onto the Doctor’s shoulders. “SAY SOMETHING! GODDAMNIT SPEAK! FUCK! SAY SHE’S ALIVE! PLEASE- please, please, please-“ Donghyuck’s words fade away as he clings onto the Doctor’s coat shutting his eyes tightly knowing very well that he won’t be hearing those words tonight… he won’t be hearing those words ever. “This can’t be… This can’t happen… Y/n… doctor please tell me you saved her. Please tell me you tried to save her… doctor…” Donghyuck drops to the ground, tears rushing out like a flood gate. His hands hit the floor as he buries his head on his hands as he cries out your name.

Mark not having enough energy is already seated on the bench, with a headache forming in his head from holding in his tears. His eyes are red and sting, tears ready to spill and overflow, his jaw feels strangled as the veins pump in heaps of pain. He lays his head in his hands fighting back with waves of crushing emotions swerving all over him. Donghyuck was already in a ball on the floor wailing out for his dear life- Mark is seconds away from letting his guard down but he tightly guards his trembling lips because he has to be the stronger person. But how could he be strong when hearing this news… He scoffs they didn’t even hear the news, hearing the words would just be too painful. You’re gone. Mark holds himself back as he realizes that he has no little sister anymore. You’re gone. You’re… gone.

“My deepest condolence for your loss.” Lifting his head up when feeling a brisk hand on his shoulder, his teary eyes peek up to the Doctor who’s already looking down at him, a coat of dejection and despair looming over him. “Your sister was as the young fellow said, she was exactly strong and did put up a fight. You’re allowed in her room for some days. If possible we'd appreciate it if you signed her release papers. There was nothing I could do to save her, for that, I apologize.”

-

“Oh god. She’s here!”

“Is she really here? Should we inform headquarters?”

“She’s truly stunning, I can’t believe she’s here,”

“But what is she doing here?”

“She’s not supposed to be here.”

Sound morphs all around you allowing you to hear voices around you. Your eyes are frozen literally, as if your body is trying to understand why it’s not feeling pain anymore. Nothing hurts. You try to make out the voices, yet you know none of them. Your conscious attention is directed to something else when you can feel… some sort of liquid being poured over your toes. Your breath hitches in your throat shutting out all the voices as you try to focus on whatever is being poured over your body. With trembling lips, you feel your knees and ankles buckle when the liquid substance pours over. It’s cold and it clings to your legs, your torso, your breast, your arms- everything gets soaked into the liquid goo and eventually your neck and head and even hair get smeared with the clinging liquid squeezing your body shut. You feel suffocated and chills all over your body. After a daunting time you struggle to breathe!- your body finally trembles and you can feel every inch of your figure and every movement of your fingers. Your eyes fly open as you sharply huff in a large intake of air.

Those around your figure stand by with some wet towels, dry towels and a robe. They watch your clear slime covered figure breaking out of the yoke you were in. You’re wet and nude as you shoot up on the white operating table panting for your dear life. They stand in astonishment watching you in awe, at how breathtaking you look.

You cough out trying to get rid of the odd liquid substance that entered your mouth. Your eyes are struck by the blinding yellow of the room you’re in- and the weird goo. You see three ladies in the room and you can’t stop trying to breathe as your breath feels short and unstable. “Why can’t I breathe?”

You're short of breath yet again when you look down to see the gooey slime all over your body. Shrieking out of the white mattress the ladies follow you and so does the gooey white slime. The slime falls off of you and your stunned that you’re bare and exposed. A squeak leaves your lips when the ladies scramble to you quickly wiping you and cleaning you up. You quiver in fear but stay still out of shock as they continue to clean you up and assure you that everything is alright.

However that doesn’t seem to be the case when your head snaps to the side watching as the door fiercely opens up and with heavy propelled steps, a figure stands in all black. Your frantic eyes are sharply on the male figure that enters the room with sharp eyes of vexation. Your arms quick in reflex cover up your exposed breast, but the ladies around you are faster in getting a grip of your hands trying to clean you with the wet towels and dry towels. “Hey-” your side tracked when seeing the ladies faces… Donghyuck? They look like your boyfriend but in different colored wigs.

This was supposed to be simple, with you waking up, coming out of your yoke, sitting up and calmly being cleaned up. Normal procedures for the ladies in white, yet they're stunned and muzzled by your befuddlement and the entrance of a presence that’s not supposed to be here. 

“Mr Zhong,” The main nurse steps forward bowing to him. “You’re here.” Is all she can manage to say. Why was he here? What was he doing here? What did he want? He’s not supposed to be here during clean up- not even that, seeing him out of the main core center is unusual.

“What the hell are you doing here?” His question and devious tone is not aimed at the nurse or other cleaners. No, it’s aimed at you. You simply stare at him quivering back in fear with every step he takes. You’re just as frightened and confused like the other nurses, but you’re more on the alarmed side.

Where were you? And what is going on- what is going on?

Mr Zhong stands in front of you, his being towering your bare trembling body. Your eyes are on his harsh dark eyes as you watch his own irked eyes move down your body. Your hands are too afraid to cover up so you let him take in your nude body that’s been cleaned up.

“Answer me.” He whispers making chills run down your spine- his voice rises again so loud that you jump. “What are you doing here!?” 

You cower your eyes looking down trying to hold yourself from exploding into a scared cry. “I don’t know- I don’t know where I am. I don’t know anything. I just woke up! I think I hit my head or something and-”

“Mr Zhong she just woke up from her yolk. She’s disoriented and her memory is still foggy. If you give us a few minutes we’ll get her in-”

“Where’s Hyuck?” Your soft voice speaks up as his eyes suddenly come up into your eyes. You were at a hospital the last you remember with Donghyuck… you were in an accident. “Where is he?”

“Oh god.” Mr Zhong rolls his eyes shut in irritation as he runs his hand through his hair. “Get her cleaned up right now will you? Why is it taking so long?”

The nurses are quick to clean you up, applying some lotion for your body and even massaging your shoulders and head, scraping your skull with deep fingers calming you down. You feel like you’re being given a free spa treatment, when they wrap your body in a robe. They make you perform some balance test, asking you move your head left and right, if you can stand on your right leg and left leg, they dress you up in a white bra, a white vest and finally a white shirt, paired with white underwear and a white skirt. You feel comfortable amongst the ladies who strangely look like Donghyuck. Nonetheless you ignore the male figure in a black suit eyeing everything that they’re doing.

Are you dreaming? Did you hit your head?

His eyes are shamelessly glaring you down as the ladies pamper you up with sweet calming words that meant absolutely nothing to him. You were here and if you were here, it only meant trouble.

“Alright. You’re all cleaned up.” The three nurses stand in front of you bowing, before returning to their natural smiles. You don’t understand why you had to be cleaned up and why these ladies even looked like Donghyuck. In fact, where is-

“Where’s Donghyuck?” You ask.

The smiles slowly slip from their lips looking to each other.

“She’s a spirit.” Your eyes turn to Mr Zhong seated on the chair watching you with such distaste that you instantly look away. “A lover.” Why is he looking at you with such anger? And what is a lover?

“A lover?” The mentions of a lover floats around the air on different lips of the nurses as you look around the yellow space.

“I need to get back to Hyuck,”

“No.” Mr Zhong stands up sternly. “What you will do is follow me, and hopefully you can get out of here before you overdo your stay.”

-

“You’re dead.”

“No.”

“You’re dead.”

You gulp and shake your head. “I’m awake. I’m alive.”

“You’re dead.” The guy known as Mr Zhong repeats his words. You shake your head with disbelief not allowing your ears to believe a thing he’s saying.

“I’m not dead.” You say again. It seems like a cycle with you in denial and Mr Zhong repeatedly repeating himself not wanting to break the cycle. It seems like he really wants you to get it in your head that you’re- “I’m not dead!”

“You’re dead.” He deadpans again.

“No I’m not.”

Not bothering to change his wording, he crosses his arms only staring at you bored and angered out of his mind. “You’re dead.”

“Stop saying that!” You yell standing up balling your fists. There are tears clinging to your eyes. “I can’t be dead! I can’t! Can’t you see I’m breathing? Are you blind to that?”

“You don’t even have a heartbeat or pulse.” Mr Zhong tilts his head. “You’re dead.”

“Stop!” You yell at him controlling your hands to stop you from trying to slap or push him. Blinking your tears away. “Stop saying that please. I only asked you where Donghyuck is.”

“And I’ve been telling you that you’re inside of him.” He shuts his eyes rubbing his temple. “And that’s because you’re-”

“I will strangle you if you dare repeat that sentence.”

He calls your name once while turning around. How did he know your name? “You’re wasting precious time. You know what, follow me, if you want proof and clarification.”

Being told you’re dead and that you’re inside your lover (inside of Donghyuck’s body) causes an unstable balance inside of you. You look at your hands and see how clear they are from any wound, but you can also remember feeling numb from all the idle pain all over your body. You can’t remember what happened- but you know that you were hurt badly. Otherwise why else was Donghyuck crying. You remember following him to the hospital... or he was following you- you’re not sure, but you do know that he was in an insane amount of pain...wait, you were in an insane amount of pain. You felt your head about to explode and your entire body in such frail torture, throbbing and aching. 

If you felt that pain, then why are you okay right now? It’s the only thing you can think about. You turn around in the white hall, finally finding Mr Zhong by an elevator. He sticks out like a sore thumb because everything in the room is white except his dark suit. Your legs are heavy but you follow him and stand beside him in the elevator letting out a chilling breath. 

“Where are you taking me?”

You pose simply, only to have him ignore you and press up a button. The elevator starts moving up and you notice that the doors are clear and see through. As the elevator goes up, the white hall you were in goes down and the new scenery of black clouds and a neon view of an ominous city lights up in the night, but the elevator goes higher despite floating in… midair. You stand closer to the door taking in the view of each layer of the city that is darkened and only lit by the flashing colors of pink blue and yellow. The confusion in you only grows. The views disappear and a grey room is present when the elevator stops. The doors slide open and Mr Zhong takes steps out with you carefully following him.

After leaving that weird place, he continued being cold with a bothered face. You can already guess that he doesn’t like you at all, not one bit. He barely gave any other emotion then abhor and clear hatred. Maybe hate is too strong but that’s what you can see in his eyes. He hates you and you don’t know why, you don’t even know him. But he somehow seems to be in charge as he walks around like he knows everything.

In the narrow grey corridor, you try to keep up with him as he turns into various open turns. Peeking from behind him you spot a door that’s in front with the number 4R. 

A flashing white light hits your eyes and you shake your head hearing loud voices. 

“Pulse going down!”

“Doctor we’re losing blood, we’re losing her!”

“We need to stabilize her stat!”

You stand still shutting your eyes to block out the words but they continue on yet instead of getting louder, they slowly fade.

“Get the charge.”

“Volt?”

“180.”

“Standby. Clear.”

You gasp aloud and pant out.

“Pulse fading.”

“Again. Standby. Clear.”

A sharp sting grips your chest and you grab it gasping out.

“Pulse fading.”

“We’re losing her.”

It’s the last thing you hear before sharply opening your eyes blinking excessively when Mr Zhong stands in front of you. “That’s called your Last Memory.”

“Last Memory?” You ask trying to catch your breath and stand straight. 

“Yes. The last thing your inactive brain remembers before it shuts down. I guess this hall triggered it.”

“But I thought I’m in Donghyuck’s mind?” You whisper out grumpily standing straight. “What the hell is going on?”

“Right now we’re not in Donghyuck’s mind. I just took your spirit out of it. Plus another day has passed. It’s almost 7pm. You’re tethered to him.”

“What?” Confusion washes over you yet again, by the words that leave his lips. You have no idea of the things he’s talking about. “What do you mean tethered to him?”

He turns on his heel continuing to walk towards the door named 4R. “Things will make sense when you come to terms with the fact that you’re dead.”

He opens the door and there’s a dim light that he disappears into. Quickly you follow him rubbing your eyes upon entering the bright room. 

You can hear soft sobs and instantly snap your head to the source. There’s a hospital bed and a chair. On the chair... And on the bed...

You feel your heart about to explode from beating so fast. Your knees lose balance and you fall down. “W-what is this?” You ask unable to comprehend the sight before you. 

Mr Zhong stands by the corner of the room with his hands in his pocket as he looks at the sight of your dead body on the bed and Donghyuck’s disheveled appearance seated on the chair. He’s crying as his eyes are fixed on your lifeless face.

“What memory is this?” You ask trembling as you try to get on your feet with your weak body trying to handle and support your movement. But it can’t, your emotions wearing you down.

“This isn’t a memory.” Mr Zhong speaks taking in a breath stepping closer. “You died 3 days ago. Today, they’re discharging your body and preparing for burial-”

“B-burial?” Your heart hammers in your chest as you fall again to the ground. “Burial for what? Who’s getting buried?”

“Your burial is in 2 days time,” Mr Zhong continues.

“No.” A string of disbelief leaves your lips just as your tears blur your vision. You stumble up and run to Donghyuck but get the surprise of your life when your whole body passes through him and you fall rigidly to the ground. “D-Donghyuck?” You cry out immediately sitting up and trying to touch him. “Baby please I’m here! I’m here! That’s not me! That’s not me! I’m here! Donghyuck! Hyuck! Baby!” Your voice quivering and trembling as you try so desperately to cling onto his body, but each time your hand goes through, until you’re struggling to breathe with your chest at a loss of air. “No!” You wail out in deep agony. “I survived- I’m here. I can feel and that’s not me. That’s not me- please no.” 

Your tears are nonstop as you bury your head on Donghyuck’s thigh… well, trying too.

Mr Zhong’s eyes widen when he senses that Donghyuck can suddenly feel your presence. Donghyuck blows out a breath of air and his own tears stream down faster as he looks at your dead body on the bed. He stands up and his whole body circles your dead body again as he cries. He’s not supposed to be holding you, but the nurses are not around, and he could care less about the trouble he would be in. Mr Zhong lets out a breath of relief when sensing it was only your sorrowed and burden emotions that pushed Donghyuck into another wave of tears.

Mr Zhong needed to get you out, but your weakened state next to the feet of your boyfriend has him in despair. Even though he despises you, he knows how much you mean to Donghyuck, and so he leaves the room to let you have a moment. After all you just found out that you’re dead.

You're crying alongside Donghyuck, while Mr Zhong stands outside the door listening to the both of you pour out your hearts. Of course it’s hard to believe you’re inside of Donghyuck’s mind when you can see him with your physical eyes. But then again, Mr Zhong has been here far longer than you have. In his mind, he tries to think of ways to get you out of Donghyuck’s head before it’s too late. He shakes his head. “It’s already late.” He mutters to himself. “But I need to get her out of here. Before anyone sees her.”

This is all happening because Donghyuck doesn't want to let you go. Mr Zhong sighs. He needs to get you out of Donghyuck's head, he needs to do it as soon as possible before you got sucked in. The less you know the better. It’s even better that no one saw you aside from those nurses. He needs to get you out before another member inside of Donghyuck sees you.

Mr Zhong's senses alert and sharpen when he can feel Donghyuck and you together. Donghyuck can feel you. That’s not good. Donghyuck can’t interact with your spirit. Under no circumstance is he allowed to do that. Mr Zhong bursts into the hospital room his eyes enlarging when you're hugging Donghyuck from behind. You’re focusing your entire being just to hug Donghyuck and it seems to be working because Donghyuck can feel your presence… or rather can feel an embrace wrapping their arms around him. Donghyuck is anything but confused as he cries out. “I can’t live without you. I can’t…” Donghyuck shakes his head when seeing your dried out and dull lifeless lips.

Meanwhile Mr Zhong's heart beats rapidly when he senses what Donghyuck is about to do. He gulps and his legs are quick to act in grabbing your shirt from behind and yanking you. "We have to go now." 

"Wh-what? Why?" You're ripped from Donghyuck as Mr Zhong pulls you back. You try to fight him off you with your strength but Mr Zhong balls his fist and your body begins to move against your will. "No- please- just give me more time with him! Please-"

Your words fall on deaf ears as Mr Zhong's running and forcing your body to move as well in the direction you came from. In a far distance as you cross your ‘Last memory’ you hear the words of the Doctor charging your body again and you jolt up when feeling the electrical current shoot throughout your body, however the process is short lived when you're pulled away extremely fast and into the elevator next to Mr Zhong. “Come one go faster. Go faster.” Mr Zhong stresses out. You wipe your tears suddenly being drawn to his alertness. What’s going on now?

There's a loud ringing in your head when the elevator door opens up to a... large white room that looks like a lab with plenty of laptops and screens. –Beep- Beep- Beep- the alarm sounds off very loudly. 

"What's going on?" You shut your eyes when the ringing ‘crings’ annoyingly. You can't hear Mr Zhong but with blurry sight you see him run out of the elevator to the white room… that's slowly turning dark. You try to follow however your mind is distorted and you collapse on the ground due to all the ringing.

Mr Zhong- tagged along with a great hand of different operators run around the ‘monitor room’ also known as the Core control room. With screens all over monitoring all of Donghyuck’s scenes, there’s one large screen that captures what he’s seeing exactly. That’s the one that Mr Zhong controls when he senses that Donghyuck isn’t being himself. The people in the room all in charge of different senses are running up and down in haste- trying to get Donghyuck to calm down- they press on all the buttons that are used to prevent a forced ‘shut down’. The lights in the center are fading black.

Donghyuck is having a breakdown and is about to shut down his mind. That can't happen. Because if it happens, then the Core can’t control, leaving Donghyuck in the hands of his impulsive ‘Body’. Mr Zhong pulls on a leather hanger and blinks several times when eyeing the monitor screen to see through Donghyuck's eyes. 

Donghyuck is still in the hospital room pacing back and forth, wanting to rampage. “I… I should be the one to die. I should be the one to die. I should be… the one… to…” Huffing and puffing, Donghyuck picks up his car keys and goes out the door. He can hear his brain telling him not to do it but there's just so much emotion building in him that he can't fathom or want to feel. Getting in his car he slams the door shut and bangs repeatedly on the steering wheel yelling out in sheer anger and possibly crying out.

Mr Zhong speaks into Donghyuck’s thoughts as his ‘subconscious voice’. “Don’t do it Donghyuck. You don’t have to do something crazy to prove.” 

Drive. However, with the fading lights in the control room, Donghyuck gives into the will of the Body to drive instead of listen to his own thoughts.

"No!" Mr Zhong hastily pulls on the leather to try and have some more light- to try and have control in the darkening room. The other coordinators are scampering in heaps of fear by Donghyuck's edged decisions. "Come on Donghyuck! Please don’t do it! Listen to be before you do something crazy! Stop the car!" 

All efforts in the control room are vain when Donghyuck starts the engine and with raging force the tires screech loudly and his car thrusts forward in deadly speed. Cars are hooting on every lane by his careless driving. Donghyuck finds himself not caring and he drives on the highest speed challenging the accelerator in his car. All the windows are up, the car is filled with sounds of him deeply breathing and running his hand over his hair violently and his foot blistering from how cogently he's stepping on the speed paddle. 

The Core’s control room is no longer fading black, instead the whole room is a darkened red with flashing lights- the alarm sounds are all off. All the controls are black and the only thing everyone can do is watch the screen of Donghyuck's eyes and he swerves in dangerous speeds racing in between cars and him yelling out. He’s on a high way leading to his own death.

Mr Zhong worriedly looks at the screen watching his best friend lose his mind and having a mild panic attack. Mr Zhong holds onto the ledge tightly with tears in his eyes. “Donghyuck stop this!” All the pain Donghyuck is feeling - he can feel it too. Especially in this moment. Donghyuck is feeling guilty. Worthless. Pathetic for staying alive when his girlfriend has died. Mr Zhong feels useless that he can't do anything but watch as his friend is driving to his own death. In moments like this, when Donghyuck’s Core lost control to the Body- they could do nothing but watch it all happen. All the operators as if in defeat and sync all kneel on the ground together with their eyes no longer trained on the screen but on the floor as they prepare for death. Because by the looks of Donghyuck’s reckless driving, they were bound to death. This is what usually happens when the mind and body are no longer connected. Donghyuck feels on edge that he can't feel anything and so the body moves on its own in rebellion. Mr Zhong doesn't close his eyes, he simply sinks on the ground waiting for the impact of the crush whenever it'll happen.

Is this seriously how Donghyuck will lose his life? By ending it, while thinking of being with you.

Donghyuck panting out in sheer self-resentment drives off the highway and crushes past the border line lanes and he's car is surging down the cliff in rapid speed.

It's getting hot and Mr Zhong can feel it. The roads are bumpy and Donghyuck stupidly removes his seatbelt having his red tearful bleeding eyes already set on a tree. He's ready to crash into. 

With determination Donghyuck prepares himself for impact his eyes balling out blurring his vision.

"Hyuck… Hyuck…"

Mr Zhong's ears are sharp when hearing it. Hearing the soft breathless echo. From Donghyuck's eye vision, Mr Zhong sees a ghostly appearance of a hand holding onto the staring wheel… holding onto his hand. Mr Zhong's eyes snap all around until he spots you on the ground (that you supposedly passed out on).

Your lips are dry, your body is flat on the floor, however your eyes are filled with tears when wearily looking at the screen. Mr Zhong makes out your hand that's slowly balling in a fist and by instinct he can feel that Donghyuck can feel it as well. You intertwine your fingers with his.

Donghyuck feeling the tingling sensation presses his foot sharply on the break! pedal causing the car to come to a dangerous sharp stop with the tires raging on and burning up with smoke emitting all around the car. Donghyuck nearly flies off his seat but he grips the wheel tightly especially when still seeing your hand on his.

The car stops a few gaps away from the rough branched tree, but Donghyuck's isn't even focused on that as his breathing rises with his eyes firmly on the hand wrapped tightly in his. He turns to the side and the ghostly appearance of your bloody image is what he sees before it fades away.

“Y/n…” He breaks out into a breathless cry, laying his head on the staring wheel.

In the center, heads rise when noticing the red lights disappear before the white light flickers back on giving control back to the mind. The sadness team comes together to allow Donghyuck to cry- quickly getting back on track to allow Donghyuck to not lose control again. Mummers go around, but Mr Zhong has his eyes fixed on you. The others can't hear it, but he can. He can hear it because Donghyuck can hear your soft whispers in his ear. 

"Please, don't do it. Live...for me...please. Hyuck…"

While the coordinators in the room weakly take control of the system, Mr Zhong looks to the screen of Donghyuck's eyes. Donghyuck glares at the empty passenger’s chair and whimpers out your name. Mr Zhong moves to your corner before anyone can see you and he places you in his room leaving the door open. “Why is it so dark in here?”

He ignores you and carries on doing what he was doing. “Rest up.”

Donghyuck falls asleep on the couch again, too lazy to go to his room and too drained to move. After having a full on blow cry of his life, he got out his car when it refused to start again. The car was busted. He walked up the rocky cliff making it to the highway again. His mind not even on the fact that he just lost his car. He felt numb of emotions and his throat was sore. Walking wasn't such a bad idea as he got to slowly recall your weak figure...bloody figure. He got teary eyed again and allowed himself to cry out on the road as he walked meekly on the side. How could he go on without you being there? He couldn't. And that's why, when feeling your presence tonight he wanted to continue feeling it forever more. By the time he got to his house, he crashed on the couch and instantly got induced by sleep.

Mr Zhong monitors everything until he feels sleep take over and Donghyuck is passed out on the couch. Mr Zhong looks at the blank screen being worn out. Now the Dreamers in Dream Land are taking over in giving him something to dream about. Tonight was challenging. If it weren't for you, Donghyuck would've died. As if being summoned Mr Zhong turns his head around when seeing your walking figure. You're dressed in all white again and you sit on the chair next to him. 

"I told you to rest." Mr Zhong's voice isn't sharp like before, but it's stern and on the quiet side. 

You nod your head slowly, fumbling with the ends of your sleeves out of pure anxiety. "I did. But I couldn't bring myself to sleep. Mr Zhong... I wanna understand what's going on. I'm lost out of my mind and you're the only one who I believe I can talk to."

Mr Zhong turns his head to you and sighs. "What you don’t know won’t hurt you. Besides, you have to leave his body. Let's take a walk."

"You said something about me being a lover. That I’m tethered to Hyuck. Is this heaven? Am I supposed to be here?"

“You’re not supposed to be here, which is why should leave.”

Elevators are Mr Zhong's way of movements you take note. The moment he thinks of it, by a second there's already an elevator door that presents itself. Just like him, it's a darkened grey almost black color. You stand beside him and the elevator goes down and away from the white center room. “Why are you the only one that is coated in darkness?” You question, and as you expected, he doesn’t answer you. By the time the elevator opens up, you see the outside. You follow right behind Mr Zhong on the darkened streets of the neo colored place.

"I’d believe that I’m inside of him if his insides looked all brainy and stuff. So, where are we really?” You pose confused while looking at a place that looked much more like a city then a mind or brain or all bloody.

"The less you know the better. But for a little insight, everybody is different as they should be. If you want brain and blood, just ask and I’ll take you to the real interior of Donghyuck. Right now, we’re in the interior central. The Dreamscape City. You know how some people are, structured, punctual, disciplined and focused? Well Donghyuck's being is like that. Everything that Donghyuck is, his personality: the things he likes, dislikes, traits, smarts, kinks, special places, basically his whole conscious is here in an organized collected city. I call it Cyber Dream, just because of it’s tech style. But everyone here knows it as the pit of Donghyuck or Dreamscape. If you like, you can call yourself a figment of Donghyuck’s imagination." Mr Zhong answers as he navigates himself through a busy street. You’re not far behind from him trying to hear everything he’s saying. He really doesn’t seem to like you. But that’s the least of your concern.

You rest close by being enchanted by all the flashing lights and different buildings and skyscrapers with enchanting names such as; ‘New Things I learnt Encyclopedia’, ‘Guilty Pleasures town’, ‘Music-Phoria home’, ‘Skates City’ and more. What attracts you more are the people.

Your eyes do a double take almost every time when you notice that the people.... probably all of them are lookalikes of Donghyuck but with different hairstyles and clothes. Just like the nurses and the people in the Core room, most of them just have blank faces, or eyes or mouths. Your mind easily grasps these things and you feel like your brain might explode from how weird everything is.

"Figment of his imagination? Dreamscape," You mummer out. You smile when recalling how much of a brainy tech nerd Donghyuck is even internally. “That’s my Hyuck,”

"Everything that he breathes lives here." Mr Zhong nods his head. "Night time. When Donghyuck sleeps, he's left to dream by The Dreamers in Dreamland. They're the ones who coordinate his dream and guide him to a dream or not. While he's out, his Mind, Body and Core begin to rest up. We don’t sleep, we can’t, instead we rest. That basically means the people who work in his Body come out here, the people who work in his Mind come out here and the Core people come out here."

You and Mr Zhong go inside a yellow building called, The Commune, with high shelves, comfortable lounging spaces and such a cozy warm place, the place has such a comfort feeling. Going to the top floor, you and Mr Zhong walk past some people who are seated on the one seat couch or tables as they read quietly or talk together. There’s such harmony. Mr Zhong leads you outside where there are some tables and chairs, but even outside still looks so nice and impressive. You and Mr Zhong draw to the rail and sit on the high stools there, getting sucked into the sporting lights and peaceful sights of the Dreamscape City. The illuminating night sky as well, draws you close and into everything. The night sky is composed of stars that look like objects and faces… little white dots in the sky. You smile when you see your own face.

"Don’t get too comfortable." Mr Zhong breathes out and you face him taking in the structure of his hard face. He's got soft slightly plumped lips, a firm jaw that holds up his face proudly, high cheek bones, slit eyes that are partially open and his hair is a midnight black... just like his whole attire. A very...not so much Donghyuck look alike.

“How come you look so different?” You ask. “Everyone here looks like Donghyuck but you-”

“You’re different too.” Is his response. You don’t press much into it, as you see him giving you such cold eyes. He breathes out again rolling his eyes, as he thinks on how to break down everything to you. "I know you don't like hearing this, but you're dead. I'm sorry," Despite his words sounding sincere you don’t like how he looks at you, or the fact that he doesn’t appreciate your presence with him. “And you have to come in terms with that fact, because it’ll help you get out of here faster.”

You let out a soft breath. There's no denying it now, because you believe it yourself too that you’re dead. But you don’t even know where you are? So why is he so eager to have you out? “Honestly, you keep telling me I’m inside of Donghyuck, but I really don’t even understand anything. If I’m dead, why am I here?”

"When people die, good or bad, they go to a waiting place. Where they wait for their judgement and verdict on hell or heaven. In their waiting place, they're like spirits who wander the earth. With physical eyes you can't see them or feel them, but they can see and feel you. You're supposed to be there right now and your spirit is not supposed to be here. But Donghyuck has done the impossible, yet again." Mr Zhong's lips halt and he looks away from you.

“Yet again?” You question. “What does that even mean?”

“Tell me, when you were hit by that car, did you feel your spirit going…”

Thinking back, you recall how your soul felt like it was getting out of your body. “I actually did feel that.”

“That was your spirit already taking flight from the pain. So I don’t know how he did it but… your spirit was drawn to him before you could walk off to the ‘bright white light’. What do you remember?”

“Dying.” You answer honestly and sadly. “But nothing else. I woke up here thinking that I woke up in the hospital. What do you mean when you say he’s done this before? Is that why you’re here and look diff-”

“Stop asking questions, listen.” Mr Zhong wastes no time in allowing you to speak. “For now nobody seems to know that you’re here, let’s keep it like that. The best thing I can tell you now is that if we work together we’ll be able to get you out of here before it’s too late, and before everyone begins to notice. You see now, they aren’t even looking at you.”

“What kind of best news is that?” You furrow your brow. “And what do you mean-”

Mr Zhong groans out being annoyed. “What do you mean this- what do you mean that- you ask too many questions. Do you think you could listen for once in yourlife?”

“That’s because I’m trying to-”

“If I tell you that Donghyuck can’t move on and that’s why you’re here, will you be able to understand that?”

"He can't move on? I mean what do you expect… I just died." Although your tone is saddened, your questions are endless, but if it’s answers you want, then you’ll get them. One way or another, even if he’s being difficult. “Well at least tell me about this place and why you want me gone so bad?”

"You see, the people here are all Donghyuck's self-made conscious. They're all born with purpose. For example, everyone in this building is tasked to read or socialize over matters that Donghyuck wonders about. One of the popular discussions in his head is whether we have 1 butt or 2 butts-”

You laugh, remembering how you and Donghyuck would argue on end about the said subject. He'd bring up points you've never even thought about and it was always such a discussion with depth- rather then it being silly. You stop laughing seeing Mr Zhong just staring at you irritated.

"The place where you came out of- is like the neck of birth. All of the time, it's Donghyuck being born again with a new trait and that trait moves on to its assigned Member. Now the problem is, you haven’t been assigned, which ultimately makes you a lover. Someone that Donghyuck has kept because…” Mr Zhong stops himself before trying to find better words. “Because he doesn’t want to lose you. There are 3 types of Members here, namely: Mind, Body and Core." Mr Zhong sticks out 3 fingers. "Mind members are the ones who initiate thoughts and strategies, analyzing, thinking, making plans and short term memory or long. They are the ones who fuel this place up with ideas and ideologies, they make up half of Donghyuck's conscious. Typically, they're the ones who work all over. They monitor him as his spoken conscious, they monitor eyes and ears. You know the little thoughts in your head, or the feelings you suddenly feel when you're with a person, or that one voice you speak to in your head by yourself? That's the Mind members.”

You nod you head. “What department are we-”

“Well maybe if you stopped talking I’d be able to fill you in properly without jumping and skipping. His sharp tone has you leaning back and silencing yourself. “Body members are the desires and cravings of this place. Anything they desire or lust after, they fuel to the body. The mostly deal with his senses of touch and movements. Meaning for example, if Donghyuck started liking yoga, then there are yoga body members who are born and have the necessary knowledge on yoga. Naturally the Body members main station is down to the body below the neck, but from time to time the Organs and Nerves system will come up to build awareness for new things that Donghyuck's body has started liking. And then we have the Soul, but commonly known here as a Core members, this is my department. Considering you touched him, this is… your temporary placement."

“My-” His sudden sharp stare has you shutting your mouth discontinuing your question.

"Core members work in the Upper room, they control room whereby we're in charge of his purpose, his meaning to life, his intelligence, his personality… we incorporate together with the Body and Mind to create Donghyuck as a whole. While the Mind members are everywhere of his conscious, the core makes up 1 half, just as the body makes the other half. The one mostly in control is the Mind, second in charge is me, however other times the body is stubborn and refuses to be third, so it’s tug and war sometimes. Especially if what the body wants to do is stupid.” Mr Zhong explains.

“You talk as if the Mind, Core and Body have a spokesperson,”

“They all do. I hope you don’t get to meet them. Your task should be to get Donghyuck to move on.”

“Again with this.” You huff and look away.

Mr Zhong stares at your side profile. “Tell me something. You’ve been here for a week now-”

“A week? It hasn’t felt like a week, it feels like literally 1 whole day.”

“Time moves quick here.” Mr Zhong brushes off quick and continues in his speech. “And that should let you know that you’re losing your chances of a quick escape.”

“Okay. I understand that I’m dead. I kind of understand that Donghyuck doesn’t want to move on that’s why I’m here, but I don’t get your constant need for me to leave asap.”

“Because you’re different from everybody else here.” He states.

Staring back at him, you want to bite your tongue back but the words don’t stay in. “News flash you’re also here and you’re the only different looking guy.”

“And you think that’s nice? You think that it’s a good thing being here?” He questions sternly, his voice being so threatening. His anger is bright and clear in his eyes, but… something in his eyes evoke this… pain… hidden so deep. “Call me what you want, but I’m trying to help you. It may not look like it. But really I am.”

“You don’t even like me.” Your mouth let’s out again.

“No I don’t.” He admits. That makes you feel some way. “But Donghyuck loves you. The Mind, Haechan loves you, and Body Sun loves you too. Donghyuck as a whole loves you, more than anything in this world, he loves you. Heck he was even going to die because he didn’t want to live without you. Listen here Y/n, just because I don’t like you, doesn’t mean that I don’t want what’s best for you. And believe me, leaving is what’s best for you. Going to heaven… or hell, is best for you than being trapped in here. The longer you stay here, the harder it’ll be to let Donghyuck go. You’ll be like me.”

You want to ask what’s wrong with that, but the way he’s going on and on has you feeling that being like him is bad. Aside from his facial difference from all the other Donghyuck’s around, you do notice that he’s the only wearing black. Of course you see others in black clothes too- but he’s black has an eerie vibe to it. His hair black, eyes black, clothes black, even his complexion, against all the black makes him look incredibly angry… dark.

“Take what happened earlier tonight. I don’t know if you’ve noticed but the Mind members are kind of lamenting and mourning your death, and by doing that they’ve given us temporary control of Donghyuck. We need to keep Donghyuck in check all the time now. While we were in control of his thoughts. His Body, just wanted to die, like I said he didn’t want to be third so he took control. Hence the room turning black. We lost Donghyuck to the control of his Body, and at times that can be the most dangerous of situations to be in. Basically, this period in Donghyuck’s life will be tough, because he has to let you go, so that you can be free." Mr Zhong slowly nods his head. He doesn’t know how you’re taking the news, but he’s trying to be honest with you, without letting you know too much.

“I don’t see what’s so bad about that.” You mumble looking away from him. Mr Zhong rolls his eyes. “For someone who’s also inside of Donghyuck, you really don’t embody anything that he likes. I bet you’re probably the one that takes over when Donghyuck and I argue.”

“I actually do. I think Donghyuck can do way better-” He shuts his mouth hearing you scoff angrily. “You’re scoffing? Didn’t you cheat on him?”

You suck in a sharp breath and look at him in astonishment. “That happened a long time ago.”

“Yep and it’s still the main reason why you and him argued.”

“I didn’t cheat on him. He caught me in a bad time with Jaemin.”

“Mhm. You’re dead now so it’s pointless. You’ll no longer argue about that.” He nods his head not convinced by your statement, at the same time puts you back in your place of death. "Thank you by the way.”

You’re still so high from the conversation, that you furrow your eyebrows when he suddenly says that thank you. “Thank you? What are you thanking me for?” You grumpily say and try to ignore the mini argument you had.

“You brought the Core out of the influence of the Body. I bet it wasn't easy, however you handled him well."

“This is crazy,” You blink your eyes to the stars above. “I just wanted to spend the rest of my night with Donghyuck, but now a week has passed, I’m supposedly dead—there’s just so much going on. And it all feels like a really long nightmare that I can’t stop. And you’re just so annoying and infuriating.” You shake your head and scoff. “I just wanted to touch him and hug him and just..."

“I get what you’re feeling, but complaining won’t do anything.” Mr Zhong, this time, gently interrupts causing you to huff in air and sulk. “Despite not liking you, I feel everything that he feels for you.” Mr Zhong turns his head in your direction. You're looking at the stars. He can only hope to get you out of here as soon as possible. “If you want this nightmare to stop. You need to get out of here and occupy your own spirit. Your spirit needs to go and rest in it’s rightful place.”

You ignore him and just look at the stars. Your mind blank. This can’t be real.

“I can’t risk the others seeing you, so I’ll need you to hide out in the Upper controls room, preferably in my room.” Mr Zhong gets up. “There’s a meeting I need to attend.”

“A meeting?”

“Yes, with all the other elements in Donghyuck. Our discussion is on the accident that happened. We need to head back so that I can make it in time and argue for you.”

“Can I come?”

“I just told that you need to lay low and hide out.” He grumbles. “So, no. You cannot come.”

Despite what Mr Zhong said, you find yourself with a mask over your face and large hoodie that you accidently stole from The Commune you were in. While Mr Zhong goes on leaving you in his room, you end up leaving and following some of the Core members into an auditorium like building. Where the meeting already seems to be in progression between:

Body, Mind and Core.

The names that Mr Zhong didn’t want you to know, you now know when associating yourself with the 3 members who stand at the center of the whole room. There’s ‘Sun’ (The Body), Mr Zhong (The Core) and Haechan (the Mind). One in all white (Sun), another in all grey (Haechan) and Mr Zhong in all black. The other two look a lot like Donghyuck and you can almost feel a connection to them both.

All of them are representatives. Sun and Mr Zhong report to Haechan. Haechan is in control of Donghyuck’s entirety. Sun and Mr Zhong work separately yet together to achieve the full personality of Donghyuck.

The Core’s representative is of course Mr Zhong. He stands on his own podium, looking to the rest of the present core, mind and body of members inside of Donghyuck. “The events of some night ago hit us all gravely. Donghyuck nearly drove himself to death. And that was because he was under the watchful eye of the Body members, while the Mind went into a crying cave. Donghyuck nearly tried to commit suicide. However, the Core was able to get Donghyuck back to his senses and allow him time to grieve. So, as this period in Donghyuck’s life seems to be one that is tragic, I suggest, we’ll give him a few days of grieving, before he can slowly return back to his habitual patterns and daily life. We wouldn’t want him to rashly commit suicide again.” It seems like a reasonable plan to get Donghyuck back in motion, yet the Body and Mind are opposing. “I suggest perhaps a period of 2 weeks, before we can allow him to move on-”

The Body’s representative, ‘Sun’, however has a loud mouth when speaking. “Firstly I apologize for my rash decisions. I know we were all overwhelmed and all just wanted to die. I shouldn’t have pushed that agenda. But, I don’t have to be the one to remind you and everyone else, that something happened that night. We felt the presence of Y/n. A ghostly hand belonging to her. A soft voice reminding us to carry on. She was there.” He states firmly. “Y/n was our everything. To have her there was a sign that we should… we should seek her.” That gets the crowd murmuring by that ghostly presence.

The one thing weird about being in Donghyuck’s mind, is adjusting to how everyone looks. While some only have ears and nothing else on their faces, others had Donghyuck’s full face, however they had unique looks, their own purposes and weren’t exactly like the Donghyuck you fell in love with. So, as you watch ‘Sun’ speak with so much passion towards you, your heart hurts… to think that you’d never be able to see Donghyuck the same way again is something that you find… weird. You’re inside of him and are surrounded with his traits and several personalities, but not one of them embodies all of those traits. While you can fall in love with his individual presences, you can’t fall in love with him as a whole anymore.

“I felt it too. And not just that night, but I… it sounds weird but I feel her here. I know she’s watching over us.” The Mind’s representative, Haechan speaks. It’s the first time he’s speaking. And instantly hearing his voice and seeing his facial expressions, you know that this… he’s the closest thing to Donghyuck. Why? The way he looks and reasons just highlights so much of Donghyuck.

It’s him. Heck… he’s even called Haechan. Your sunshine… “Hyuck,” you lowly call out.

Not expecting his ears to rise a little, his eyes turn to the side… he freezes on spot. You. The mere eye contact you make with him has both of your hearts beating rapidly fast. You can’t take your eyes off of him, you can’t stop looking at him. You swear that his emotions begin to enlighten… just as much as he seems much more attentive to you. You want to hide, just as Mr Zhong told you to do just in case someone saw you… but it’s so weird. You can’t look away from those eyes. The same eyes you fell in love with is now looking back at you. You watch as the tears fill his eyes… His lips tremble. “Y/n-”

“Haechan.” Mr Zhong calls quickly when noticing that Haechan staring into the distance. And of course a part of him is not surprised to see you there. Of course you’re here, you followed him. Idiot.

“Why else…” Haechan leans on the podium, his eyes flickering to yours once in a while. “Why else would she appear in the spiritual sense to save Donghyuck out of the blue? It’s crazy… but… I think she’s here.” While Mr Zhong’s eyes enlarge, the crowd at large gasps in astonishment. “Some nurses reported back to me that she was here… I don’t know what to make of it, but if she’s really here… then it’s a sign for us to keep her here,”

“No.” And that’s where Mr Zhong’s problem starts. While he’s the only different looking and only different person within Donghyuck’s head, everyone in here still respected him, however when it came to making decisions he was out numbered, by the number of little Haechan’s and Sun’s who’d all think the same. “Or maybe if she is here, it’s for no other purpose except to help Donghyuck to move on.” Mr Zhong tries to reason.

“I call bull on that shit.” Sun shakes his head. “Haechan is right. Something is happening. We as the body have been doing Yoga and we found out about all types of spirits and energies that can enter into a person when you call upon them. I think we should try that for Y/n.”

Mr Zhong shakes his head with disbelief. “What the actual hell did you just say? You want to summon her spirit?”

“Yes.” It comes as a surprise for Mr Zhong as well as you when everyone in the auditorium nods their heads and chants out ‘yes’!

“In fact I think if we do it right, we might even bring her back to life-”

“That doesn’t make sense!” Mr Zhong tries to cut out through the noise. Even his own core members were agreeing to this. “Do you guys realize that by doing this, you will ruin her spirit- and her chance to get true peace?” Mr Zhong stresses out, and that’s something that gets your attention. “She doesn’t belong here with him. She belongs wherever spirits go when they die.”

“If we’re all here why can’t she be here?” Sun enquires.

“She’s meant to be here. And if she already is here… maybe she’s scared… maybe she… maybe she wants to come out but she’s scared that we want to chase her way.” Haechan speaks again softly. Your head turns to the gloomy looking Haechan who’s so depressed when speaking and even when looking around. His eyes linger on yours again- and you feel all sorts of vulnerability. His eyes always had that affect. “I think it’s good if we’re gentle in this matter not to scare her.”

“No.” Mr Zhong’s voice breaks the peace everyone is in. Everyone in the crowd looks at him like he is going mad, they ignore him and slowly begin to chant:

‘Gentleness-’

Your head turns around to all the faces, ears, eyes, mouths, and generally everyone seems to be in agreement. Of course they are, they’re all Donghyuck. Sun takes center position and lifting his hands up. “I think it’s best to make a vow. That if we see her we should vow to never forget about her. To make her feel welcomed and that we don’t plan on letting her go. We vow to never move on without her-”

“No!” Mr Zhong bangs the podium yelling out. “For heaven’s sake! This is not a game. This is a gamble with someone’s spirit. Plus this isn’t something… something that everyone has agreed to.”

“I’m about sick and tired of you refusing to accept her.” Haechan equally raises his voice. “Maybe it’s you she’s afraid of. Maybe she feels unwelcomed by your energy. Cut it out! Can’t you see that we all miss her, can’t you feel just how near she is-”

Mr Zhong stands up in defending himself. “This isn’t something that everyone has agreed upon-”

“Can you hear them Mr Zhong?” Sun gives Mr Zhong such an attitude and holds his hand to the crowd causing them to let out an ear piercing scream. “They’ve spoken.”

“No they haven’t.” Mr Zhong solely fights for you. But yet, you can’t understand why he wants you gone so bad. Especially if Haechan and Sun are giving you a chance to stay. If you’re here, it surely means something… It’s what Haechan said. “This isn’t a democracy, this is someone’s life, spirit on the line. If you do this, there’s no going back. Haechan,” Mr Zhong looks to the Mind. “Right now, you’re just sad. You’re not thinking straight. If you allow this to happen, if you make this vow, you’ll be repeating a mistake. Should I be the one to take you to long term memory? Please. I’m begging you. I’m trying to prevent that. Please.”

Very subtly, the Mind, Haechan, looks to you and his heart quenches up. It really is you. There’s no denying it now. Your eyes are clear and he knows what you’re feeling… He’s just as confused of you being here… but how can this be? Is he dreaming? Normally, his colors where bright and bubbly and had a balance because he also looked after Donghyuck’s heart and everything else surrounding his energy. When the Core and Body found no agreement, he was the final decision to everything. The Mind is always the bridging gap between the Core and Body. However, as Haechan’s eyes are grey and brown, it only shows how much your death has affected him deeply, intensely… progressively that he doesn’t mind making a terrible decision.

“Please don’t be afraid to come out… I’m here.”

You blink your eyes a little, the tears slipping more before quietly getting up and leaving the auditorium. Haechan too follows your going figure. He wants to chase and follow after you- but Mr Zhong is in front of him. “I need to go.”

“No you don’t.” Mr Zhong stops him. “Please Haechan. The unconscious part of you knows better than anyone what bringing her soul here means. Or do you need me to go and find the memories for you so that you can see-”

“I don’t want to talk about it anymore. I need to go to my room. Tomorrow is Friday. There’s a speech we need to prepare. Remember?”

[Friday, 10:45 a.m.]

Donghyuck isn't feeling too well as he leans on the wall of your once bright lively bedroom. His eyes are on the ground to a box of items that belonged to you. Your older brother Taeyong found it fit to give him some of the things you cherished. Donghyuck squats down and begins picking, moving his hand around the box looking for something particular- "There is it." Donghyuck pulls out a ring...

A promise ‘purity’ ring. This was on your body last, your finger before they removed it. Just looking at his makes his eyes water... How could you be gone? Just like that, how could you go? He sharply sucks in his breath when hearing the bedroom door open.

"Hey," It's Taeyong. "We're about to start."

"Cool." Donghyuck wipes his eyes. "I'll be down."

Giving him a moment to pull himself together, Taeyong walks out your old room first and then goes down the steps. This house once used to be a home filled with so much love and care. But it only took your parents dying, also in a car accident, to break the foundation of the family. Taeyong, Mark and you were siblings who loved each other so much and dearly, yet once your parents died something shifted in all of you. There was a lack of connections or understanding between you all. While it was evident that Taeyong tried to bring his siblings back together and become the man of the house, he couldn't find himself being strong for both you and Mark. While you and Mark confided in each other and got closer, Taeyong drifted further apart from the both of you as he made sure that you both went to good schools, colleges and even found good work. Under Taeyong's guidance, Taeyong managed to afford a student accommodation for Mark because Mark got a scholarship in a top university. Just like Mark, you also achieved good marks and got a bursary were they paid your full tuition as well as housing fees. Happy to have sent you and Mark to good schools, Taeyong was able to look after the house and move out, leaving it as a treasured piece of their family. Their parents were buried in the backyard and he only saw it fit to keep it as a memory house, as a personal cemetery for their family.

However, upon your passing, Taeyong sits outside with tears in his eyes. He never wanted you to die, he still wanted to send you off into a good marriage with a good man, he wanted to see you give birth to many children and be happy, because even though he failed to get closer to you he still loved you as his little sister. But now you're gone and can only look at your coffin that's in the middle of the backyard.

Mark is seated on one of the chairs alongside a few of the distant family relatives and your friends. He hates the feelings he's feeling. But there's nothing for him to do except stare down on the ground while some of your friends play a lovely song on their violins to slowly start the ceremony. The instrumental is so good that it takes him down the memory lane he had with you. He remembers the last time he spoke to you, you were jubilant and excited as ever for getting a job in a nice office of a company that you had admired for long. Credit Insurance Company. He recalls how joyful you were and how everything you spoke about was almost like reminiscing on your life... It's like you knew that you were gonna die. Because Mark can still remember your last words. 'Goodbye Markie. Hopefully the next time we see each other I'll be covered in all white, head to toe full of riches.' You only meant it as a joke of how rich you were going to be, but now it's the last thing he'll ever remember from you.

Donghyuck sits next to Mark absorbing the somber feeling and nonchalant feeling. It doesn’t help that the violin fuels into the pain he’s feeling in his soul.

Taeyong gets on the grass setup of an alter with flowers and pictures of you, while your coffin is stacked next to your pictures. "Thank you for that beautiful symphony. It was a masterpiece. This was my sister’s favorite song. She loved music, specifically the instrumentals because, she could always hear the unsaid words that were said. She always connected to instrumentals. I bought her... her first ipod and the first song she had on it, Near to thee my God. A song that was played at our parents’ funeral. I hope… that right now.." Taeyong gulps down the lump on his throat and looks at your body. "That she’s near to them…”

Taeyong shakes his head.

“Thank you all for joining us, in this ceremony. It's not fair that we’re here in memorial of my little sister. We should’ve been here to celebrate, but we’re here in remembrance. Gone so young, gone too soon. Life, another shit show. It's not fair that she's meeting mum and dad in heaven. It's not fair that she's left us behind. It's not even fair that we're here in honor of her death. It’s just unfair. Even though I'm her brother, her brother who barely spoke to her, I loved her so much. In times when I thought of her, I remembered the small things. The arguments we'd have about how much she hated cheese burger but loved cheese and she'd always nag that tomato is a vegetable, but it was a fruit. Her random topics being too… She was so dumb, but yet so intelligent." Taeyong finds himself bitterly chuckling and sniffing. "She always lit up the room, always had something to say. Whenever she’d step in, you’d know that she was there. Even if we hardly spoke to each other, she always made me happy with her presence. I think Mark can agree with me that she was the pride and dearest of our family. The best gift I've ever gotten was having a baby sister who I could look after and make sure that she kept smiling no matter what. I love you Y/n. Where ever you are, I love you, and I wish I told you that more."

Mr Zhong standing right next to your coffin watches you as you're seated on the floor looking up to your brother with so much admiration. It's true you never spoke a lot, but it's also true that you loved him so much. You always wanted to make him proud and not make him disappointed for sending you off to school- he gave up on school so that you and Mark could make it far. He had lots of self-hate because he thinks he drifted far from you, but he didn't even know that he was the center of your pride. You stand up and move closer to him and focus when you wrap your arms around him-

Mr Zhong watches the effect of the hug and what it does to Taeyong. Right on the spot Taeyong bursts out crying, only irking you to cry more as you whisper how much you love him and never hated him, and how much you looked up to him. You thank him and give him a kiss on the cheek. Taeyong can feel this presence like a warm blanket coming over him. He moves to his seat not being able to handle the overwhelming warmth coating him and little whispers of your voice saying you love him too.

Next up, Mark gets on the pulpit a little wobbly. It only takes one look at your coffin for him to begin crying and releasing all the tears he tried to hide. He doesn't know why he can't stop himself from crying, but Mr Zhong watches how your crying has an effect on Mark. You hold him tightly while he cries and you cry so much.

Taeyong gets up and moves forward to his brother, giving him a firm hug and never letting Mark go, Mark shakes his head in denial and can't even make out words when feeling so much sadness come over him. You join in on the hug that your brothers have, and from the side Mr Zhong has a somber face. He hated funerals. He hated them with a passion. But it was a law, a mind law that even when you die, you have to be present at your funeral to see the people who love you one last time before you'd get all ties with them. So while his eyes get watery by your tears and your brothers tears, he has no choice but to keep standing by your coffin with your body in a white dress. He sighs when Taeyong and Mark move over to sit down. A friend comes to speak, says short tearful words about how she knew you were her real friend. A distant family member speaks of your enthusiastic behavior, another group of friends play an instrumental in tribute to your love for a specific movie, and then next on stage is Donghyuck.

The one you’ve been waiting for. The reason why your life began to make sense after your parents’ death. The one who said love and you knew what it meant, took you out of that broken place you had placed yourself in, kissed you and you knew who you were. When you were lost, you simply looked into his eyes and you knew who you were because he was there. He has always been there for you. You feel like you’ve betrayed him, because you left. You left him all alone.

Donghyuck’s hands shaking uncontrollably pull out a white piece of paper that he wrote on the days you died. He tries to keep his cool but just seeing two of your brothers break down as well as everyone who you had a close bond with, only has him shaking and trying not to fall apart too. "In loving memory of my girlfriend. Maybe I’ll start by saying I’ll never regret loving you. But I must say, I wish things turned out the way we wanted it to be. I would never know what love was until you brought me the definition. You were there in the right time and place and time, you saw and you opened my eyes to a whole new world. That’s why I’m unprepared to let you go. You mean everything to me. I am not prepared to see you like this… in this coffin. We had plans, a bucket list to cross of. Growing old together, getting married, having kids, getting to open up each other more. Maybe along the way we would’ve gotten tired of each other, but in all the years I’ve been with you, even after arguments, I’ve never gotten tired of you. I love you. But now, I see you in white, inside a box with all our broken promises. I’m not ready to let you go. I don’t want to say goodbye. I don’t want to move on. I want to acknowledge all the feelings you made me feel, I never want to let you go. I am glad that I opened my doors for you because you gave me a lot of reasons to continue living even though I was hurting. Remember when I was on the verge of giving up on life and … you saved me? Just like always you came to my rescue like a shining armor. It was surreal. You told me to live. But how am I supposed to live when you’re not here anymore. Please if you can, show me a sign again. Show me that you are near. Y/n, I prayed for you to come back. I need you to be back here with me, with your brothers and friends. But… I know it’s impossible. Because the cold hands of death snatched you away from this cruel earth. This earth doesn’t deserve you, but why did you leave me? Don’t I deserve you?”

Donghyuck gulps when his tears block his vision.

“Since you passed away, life hasn't been the same. If I could, I would move to heaven just to be with you. I would turn back time to have you here on earth with me again. The time we spent together meant the world to me, your laughter and your precious smile always made my heart beat- even when we fought. It always took 3 minutes to make everything alright again. We always came back to each other even though we’d drift apart. I remember those times because it made me feel that whatever I’d do, or what you’d do could never break us apart because we always knew the way back to each other, to try and fix it. " Donghyuck shivers and grunts lowly when his eyes get blurry. "No one will ever know, what it's like to lose someone who’s saved them countless of times from destruction. I miss you... I want to move on, but I can't. I can't move on when you're not here. I won't find another one because you'll always be in my heart. Maybe I will, but I don’t want to. I only want you. I’ve only wished it to be you."

Mr Zhong shakes his head when hearing Donghyuck declare the words that would be your entire existence.

“No one will ever know what it’s like to lose the love of your life just when things were only getting to the best parts. Because I was there when that cruel car drove into you and took your breath away, Y/n, it didn’t have to end that way, you still had so much life. But if it’s this way, please just come back to us and let us say goodbye properly. I’m sorry for this to be the end of our love story… but I know you’re not gone. You’re still here. Inside of your brothers, of your friends, of family, you’re also inside of me.” Donghyuck sniffs. While Mr Zhong is in the corner disliking the words that Donghyuck is confessing, you’re on the ground holding tightly onto his torso.

Mr Zhong sits through your funeral, watching your friends from school an internship place speak such wonderful words about you. He watches how your body is sunk into the ground, everyone being a crying mess… you really had an impact on people. He watches family bid their last good byes, he watches your brother and Donghyuck spend a few more minutes around the spot they buried you. He watches how they’re the first ones to throw a shovel of dirt onto your coffin. Everything feels too real for you, but you’re in a mass crying hysteria as everything unfolds. This is not at all how you imagined your life to end, so to see this all happening is unreal. Mr Zhong watches as the people begin to pack up, how your brothers don’t move from your spot- Mr Zhong watches it all. His own eyes glistening with tears. Day turns to afternoon, and afternoon turns to night…

The last person remaining in the burial sight is Donghyuck. Taeyong and Mark are in the house preparing some food. Donghyuck is seated on the ground watching the place where they buried you. The next day they’d continue to place the rest of the burial ‘ornaments’. For now he can only look at the soil that has covered up the grave and coffin. His mind is blank of emotions.

Meanwhile you’re next to him laying your head on his shoulder. It takes you focusing all of your might into just holding him, but once you get the grip you never let him go. Donghyuck can feel it… he feels a strange sense of comfort by the warmth over his arm. He doesn’t try to move afraid that it might go away… instead he uses this moment to speak to you.

Mr Zhong knows that inside of Donghyuck, it’s Haechan who is in control right now. “Y/n… are you… are you here?”

“Yes I am,” But he can’t hear you. Just the wind blowing.

“I miss you,” He carries on but stops himself when the tears come rushing out again and he’s crying so much. Your own eyes are already puffed up from crying heavily after hearing all your family and friends lament on your death. Mr Zhong disappeared a while ago leaving you alone on the surface with Donghyuck. So to hear him cry, you know that inside Haechan is crying whole heartedly. Literally.

In a shift, a blink of an eye you see Donghyuck get up. “Hyuck,” You call him. “What’s wrong? Where are you going?”

You can’t hear it, but for some reason you know that he’s having internal conflicts again… as he paces back and forth and trembles and his eyes literally look like they’re thinking. It’s all because you were inside of him, you know how everyone is operating there. He makes a rash decision when he suddenly and swiftly punches himself in the face! He falls on the ground and you gasp- what was that. You move to his side trying your hardest to do something from the outside. If Mr Zhong is doing something in there to prevent another ‘Donghyuck shut down’ then perhaps you can you also do something out here. So with all your concentration, you place your hands over his shoulder and you stare at his face that’s in anguish and distress.

“Hey, Hyuck,” You lowly say… Donghyuck’s ears aren’t prepared to hear the spiritual world, but he does hear your voice. Instantly that has him frozen. You keep looking into his eyes hoping he can just stay focused on you- but his eyes shift around- an indication that he can’t see you, but he did hear you… “Please calm down,” you try hard to let him hear the words… and… surprisingly he crosses his legs and nods his head.

“Okay,”

You breathe out, having him back for a bit. You stay with him, this time wrapping your arms around him as you straddle his waist. Hopefully he can feel that… he can.

“Hey Donghyuck, supper’s ready,” Donghyuck doesn’t want to snap out of the daze he was in when hearing your voice and sorta feeling this embrace around him. But as Taeyong calls he sighs out when instantly everything he was feeling, vanishes away. He gets up and heads into the warmly lit home with Taeyong and Mark and takes a seat with the brothers and eats…

You take a seat on the table simply watching them eat. Your heart mourns and aches to be this close to them. “It’s time to go back.” Your head snaps to the side where you see Mr Zhong standing by the corner of the kitchen as if he’s in the shadows. “We have to go back.”

“Can’t you just wait for a few minutes?”

“No I can’t. It’s urgent we move now.”

“How do you expect me to go when my brothers and boyfriend are still wounded?” You question not budging.

“For once in your goddamn life can you just stop asking questions and follow me.” Mr Zhong, frustrated, grumbles. “Come on.”

“Do you guys… feel it?” This is Mark who asks. Both you and Mr Zhong freeze and turn to him, wanting to hear what he’ll say. “Do you feel how empty it is in the house without her?”

Taeyong nods his head and so does Donghyuck. Meanwhile Mr Zhong stomps to the table and grabs your hand. “Let’s go-”

“Let me go!” You yell trying to force yourself away from him!

“Did anyone else hear that?” Donghyuck questions, but this time Mr Zhong doesn’t stop until he’s pulling you off the table and into his personal elevator.

“Gosh! Why do you have to be so infuriatingly frustrating!” You yell out spinning around grabbing your hair. The anger soon turns to tears watching the lift close and your brothers and boyfriend disappearing from your view. “I just want to be with my family. I just want to be with them.”

Your crying doesn’t phase Mr Zhong nor does it stop even when the doors open back into the room of the core members. Mr Zhong picks you up and drags you to your room… well… his room. It’s dark in here. Like a punishment. You can see nothing but pure darkness. It’s an abyss and you’re afraid of it. Mr Zhong leaves you there for 5 whole minutes. That’s how long it takes you to stop crying and begin to fear the dark. Thank goodness he comes back, the little light emitted from the door way makes you immediately stand up. However he crosses his arms.

“Because I can’t trust you out there I’m going to leave you in here-”

“What?”

“And the next step we, we as Donghyuck’s core, will try to get him to move on, because this already looks like an unhealthy way to deal with losing someone.”

“You can’t do that-”

“I can.”

“No you can’t-”

“Watch me.” Mr Zhong voices aloud. “You’re not supposed to be here, the faster he moves on then the better. If you can’t help us with that, then we’re doing this without you. Stop leading Donghyuck on.” Are Mr Zhong’s final words to you.

You’re a little too late to react when he shuts the door and you’re swarmed with internal darkness all over again. You leap off the bed and run to the door trying to unlock it and shake it- to no avail it doesn’t budge. It starts off with you yelling for him to let you out! Before it turns to you banging out the door! You begin to get paranoid yelling and banging! Minutes turn to hours very quick and you’re met with no response. You don’t know how long you remain in the same position before paranoia turns to tears and you’re now wailing in the dark room. And then, like a good cry always does, you fall asleep.

Donghyuck finishes eating and thanks Taeyong and Mark for the meal, before he heads on home. Without his car, he opts for transport services. However, selecting what address to put, he contemplates between the club (Sun’s doing), the park to clear his head (Mr Zhong’s doing) and home (Haechan’s doing). While inside of him they quickly try to verify what action to take, it’s decided upon going to the park. That way, they can try to have another meeting on Donghyuck’s next turning point- instead of simply just rushing in to anything and everything.

Looking at the time, it’s past 8 pm and the little twinkling lights shine blending in with the aesthetics of the park. There seems to be a self-made concert of a guy with what looks like an electric guitar. Donghyuck simply walks by to hear the words that captured his attention:

‘I can’t go back now, nothings the same. But I won’t forget how you called my name? So will you remember me? Will you remember the way that I was? Will you remember me? Will you remember the way that you felt when you were next to me? Will you remember? Do you remember?’

Donghyuck finds himself taking a seat on the grass along with the other singles/couples scattered on the grass as they listen to the guy sing with his slightly raspy voice. The guy goes on to singing a few more songs, before he opens up his eyes that had been closed since Donghyuck came. “Thank you,” That gets the little crowd gathered to applaud for him. Donghyuck is surprised how instantly when the guy gets up, there aren’t girls swarming him with how good his vocals were- he’s just in shock how the guy gets up and begins walking away. Taking his chance, Donghyuck follows him. This being Sun’s doing, as he’s also been interested in singing and would love to hear this guy’s inspiration and would also like to thank the guy. “Hey, man, dude,”

That gets the strangers attention as he turns around curiously, to see if they were calling him. And upon seeing Donghyuck he smiles gently. “Oh hey,”

“What? Aren’t you going to wait for tips after your show?”

The guy’s smile turns a bit shy as he scratches the back of his neck. “Nah, I don’t really do this for the money. But if you’ve got some tips, I’d gladly take them,”

“I’d feel awkward handing you money in cash, it’d kinda send a suspicious message,”

“I get you,” The guy chuckles. “My name’s Jeno, I don’t usually get ‘fans’ running up to me, so I assume you don’t know who I am. What’s your name?”

“What an introduction,” Donghyuck tries to stay upbeat and positive even though his smile is tired. “Well, I’m Donghyuck, some call me Haechan or Sun,”

“You must be a ray of sunshine then,” Jeno enlightens.

“Me? Nah, I’d say your voice was the sunshine in my dark world,” Donghyuck admits… a bit weakly.

Jeno sees the sadness that passes through Donghyuck’s eyes. “If I didn’t know any better, I’d think you were flirting with me,”

“Not really,” Donghyuck gulps looking down, trying to control the sudden knock of tears. He exhales and tightly smiles looking up. “I actually buried my girlfriend today. Hearing you sing just brought me to a place. Uhm, yeah,” Deep. Is all that Jeno can think as he listens to Donghyuck. “I guess I just wanted to acknowledge you for that,”

“I guess music really does have a way to connect people together,” Jeno smiles sadly too. “Even though she’s my ex now, I can’t imagine ever losing her to death. My condolences.”

“No biggie,” Donghyuck shrugs it off, clearing his throat. “Thanks for that,”

“I may not know your girlfriend, but I bet you loved her,” Donghyuck can only swallow back tears giving a brief smile. Jeno pats Donghyuck’s shoulder. “I was actually headed to one of my pal’s get together, wanna tag along? Might help you to relieve some stress,”

Donghyuck finds himself chuckling a little. “Not even gonna call this pal to make sure it’s okay?”

“The more the merrier,” Jeno smiles nudging his head forward as a sign that they should get going. Donghyuck doesn’t mind following along with Jeno. Throughout the walk Jeno talks about his ex girlfriend and how she cheated on him, and he was really depressed and as a way to de-stress himself, music came to him and allowed him to free himself. Donghyuck listens and wonders to himself if he’ll ever move on-

No.

He hears in his head. It’s not even an option. Why should he let you go especially knowing that there’s no one who will ever make him feel the same way as you? Why should he let go when he won’t find another like you? Why should he let go when he’s promised and dedicated his life to you? Why should he let go when you were his everything? How do people who break up begin to let go so easily? Is it because they were never in love- or because they found another? Donghyuck shakes his head, there’s no point in moving on especially if he didn’t get any closure.

It's very clear to Mr Zhong that Haechan and Sun are more in control of Donghyuck’s eagerness to not letting you. It’s clear that he might have to prepare himself in seeing you everyday. And that’s not an option he likes. So finally when Jeno and Donghyuck arrive to the ‘pals’ house- Mr Zhong actually gets thrilled when seeing the familiar face of Jaemin.

Y/n’s quote on quote fling.

The house is big, there are a bunch of guys and girls not exotically all over each other, but in a friendly state of a gathering. Donghyuck over hears something from Jeno as he comments that it’s a birthday of another friend- but Donghyuck could care less, especially when Jaemin also catches Donghyuck’s eyes.

Both have a deep stare down and instantly Mr Zhong takes front and center and immediately activates anger. Donghyuck’s lips twist in anger just as Jeno picks up on the tense atmosphere. He holds onto Donghyuck’s chest and with an arm around his shoulder he forces the ladder out of Jaemin’s equally engraved bitter eyes and to the kitchen.

“Am I missing something? Do you know Jaemin-”

“F-”

“She died because of you.”

Jeno’s ears are sharp when he turns to Jaemin who sucks in a breath after following them. Donghyuck turns around his eye twitching. “I beg your pardon? What did you say?”

“You heard me.” The teary red eyes of anger stare back into Donghyuck’s eyes as Jaemin balls his fist. For a very long time his thought about this encounter. Ever since hearing about your death over social media when one of your brothers posted that- Jaemin could only think of the last conversation you had with him. “You killed her.”

Donghyuck pounces but Jeno stands between the two hastily. “Yho yho Jaemin calm yourself, it’s Renjun’s birthday and he doesn’t want any of this.”

Jaemin is far from hearing that as he stares into Donghyuck’s eyes infuriated eyes. And Donghyuck isn’t even in the room anymore as his full focus is on Jaemin. “I buried my girlfriend today. Don’t forget that, she wasn’t your girlfriend, she was my girlfrien-”

“Cut that bullshit. She’s dead now all because of you. And you know what, she didn’t have to die- but you-” Jaemin stresses looking pain stricken. “You. It’s all your fault. If you hadn’t called her out that night she would’ve still been alive- matter of fact if you just gave her that space instead of always suffocating her then maybe- just maybe would she still be-”

“Excuse me? What the hell are you on ab-”

“God you’re so full of yourself.” Jaemin tries to step forward but Jeno’s hand stops him. “I loved her and she loved me. Do you honestly think- no do you really believe that she was happy in that claustrophobic relationship you provided her? Are you shitting me? You gas lighted her-

“Jaemin-”

“You filled her head with shit. Kept hurting her, manipulating her thoughts to think that she needed you at all times. You’re so controlling that you didn’t even realize that she was getting sick of you-”

“Listen here dude you know nothing about our relationship-”

“Oh but I know plenty pal,” Jaemin cries stuffling his anger. “You think you were good for her? Shit, you were draining and knowing now how possessive you are over her- I can just imagine the loniless she endured while being with you. Do you know she called me when you’d sleep? Or do you even know how much she cried to me? Do you even know where her heart lied truly? No. Because you continuously put her down. Continuously limited her. You didn’t know that girl like I did. You did not know her. She couldn’t even get out- always waiting for you and whatever you’d say.” Jaemin sniffs in blinking the tears away. “You selfish bastard, you kept her all for yourself and still have the nerve to claim her after death-”

Donghyuck has always been considered as a weak fighter- yet when he lands a punch right against Jaemin’s jaw! No one sees it coming, and that fuels Donghyuck to pounce on Jaemin and rattle him with each of his fists while his eyes wreak havoc in tears. By now there’s a crowd formed, howls of urgency just as Jeno and a bunch of other guys hold onto Jaemin and Donghyuck separating them. In the end- Donghyuck points a deadly finger at Jaemin who’s on the floor panting out in rage. “You know nothing about us. I loved her more than anything and I know for a fact that she loved me too. You weren’t even present at her funeral so what fucking say do you have over her life- If anything you were annoying- you still are annoying. Don’t you ever, EVER, speak of her again. You filthy piece of shit.”

Donghyuck passes by the flabbergasted faces of guys and leaves the house. After a heavy and teary walk where he constantly talks out loud blaming Y/n for dying. His feet find him in a 24/7 store as he buys liquor. He chugs it down shaking his head at the overwhelming thoughts pouring in his head from meeting Jaemin. This is the first time he’s confront Jaemin. Mr Zhong is glad that he can ‘pollute’ Donghyuck’s mind to the point where Sun and Haechan are both grieved and trying to believe that really Y/n is innocent. But it’s hard to believe that, especially since all that quote on quote crap came from Jaemin.

Y/n’s fling.

This all started a year ago when your relationship with Donghyuck began getting a little rocky. You became distant, and within the time of you being away from him, you met Jaemin. At this point only heaven knows what you’ve told Jaemin. Because ever since you patched things up with Donghyuck- Donghyuck began seeing a lot more of Jaemin around you. Seems like Jaemin had caught feelings. Donghyuck would note how you’d try to hide Jaemin away-  but Jaemin was very vocal about how he felt towards you. Hell knows what you’ve done privately with Jaemin, but even the little thought of it makes Donghyuck boil. Because now you’re gone. Now you’re dead and all the answers he wants to get, he can’t get them because you’re a whole spiritual platform away from him. “How could you do this to me!? Was I really suffocating you? Then why’d you stay with me all this time? What was the point of us getting back together if your heart lied with him? What the hell was he talking about? Y/n! Why? Why? This isn’t fair.”

Getting home, slurring his words and mumbling curses to you and Jaemin’s abomination relationship. He enters his dark room.

You’re awakened when hearing a cry. By now darkness becomes your second vision when you open your eyes and still find yourself in the same dark place. But yet.. you still hear a cry. It’s Donghyuck’s cry. Why is he crying?

Feeling sad and sorrow filling you up, you think of how to get out of the room, and how to get to Donghyuck in order to help him out. You don’t like hearing him cry. Why is he crying? Meanwhile Mr Zhong on the other side of the door is with the others as they formulate a ‘Moving On Strategy’, but he doesn’t know that as you’re on the other side, miraculously you think of something…

If Mr Zhong could do it, then so can you. He mentioned something about the cyber dream being part of Donghyuck’s thoughts… imagination… So without any delay, you try your hardest and begin building in your head. You construct something that you’ve seen him use to teleport you places. That elevator…

You’re already in the elevator when you open your eyes again. Just think. Think. Where do you want to go? The elevator begins to go up high and you have to keep your self-balanced against the side when it gets rigid and shakes a little too strongly. Steady. Steady. You remind yourself while picturing Donghyuck’s room. Taking in a deep breath you allow yourself to focus and concentrate on getting the elevator to Donghyuck. Actually you don’t know why you suddenly thought of Donghyuck’s room… but it seems like the crying if from there.

The first thing you hear when the elevator door opens up is sniffing. Despite the time being 18h26 pm, his blinds shut out any light- creating a pitch back room- only being lit up by his phone’s brightness light. The room is similar to the way it was when you were in the Organs and Nerves center. You step out the elevator and carefully tread on the carpeted grounds of Donghyuck’s room. If you still had a pulse, a heartbeat, you’d be able to feel your emotions going all over the place. As soon as you see him, his disheveled appearance slouched and face so stiff in sadness, you get a headache from how stupid you’d been to have died.

Why did you have to die? Why? You were his everything… You were his, and now that he’s gone you just feel this cold atmosphere around him. Getting in front of him you bend down, holding onto his knee- only for you to nearly fall as you pass through him. You can smell that he’s drunk. You can smell that alcohol. Great. You can’t help the little squeak that leaves you, the little squeak of frustration as your head lightly throbs that you can’t touch him. Watching him in the face, and how he doesn’t even react to you is just another slap in the face that you’re… no longer living. Looking at his somber face you feel your throat clog up.

“Hyuck,” you blink when seeing he’s looking at your picture on his phone. “I’m sorry for leaving you,” You try to hold his face, but the way your ghostly hue flows past him has you just kneeling in front of him in pure and pitiful sadness. “Hyuck,”  

Your sweet voice drowning in the silence as your eyes take him in.

Your arms keep passing him but right now you feel so close to him in the sense that you’re actually here with him. You can’t just be here and he doesn’t acknowledge you. You want him to acknowledge you…

You want him to feel you…

You just want him to look you in the eye and not be sad. You can’t stand this. You can’t stand being in him when outside he’s hurting. You don’t want him to hurt anymore.

Concentrating with everything in you, you brace yourself to touch him again. This time you tell yourself that you will. If you did it before at the hospital. “Feel me…” You can do it again. “Please,” Your fingers get a grip on his face… just a tingle and he instantly reacts.

Gasping out loud and looking around, you smile a little more as the rest of your fingers slide past his face until your whole hand is against the side of his face. “Hyuck…”

“Y/n?” You’re happy that he calls out your name, only except he doesn’t look at you or acknowledge your presence. He’s probably just having a reflex again. That doesn’t stop you from sliding your arm over his leg as you get back taking a seat next to him.

“I’m here,” You tilt your head to the side, willing yourself to wrap your arms around his torso. “I feel you Hyuck,”

His reaction to your touch is subtle as he stiffens and quietly breathes out. Can he feel it? Can he feel you?

“Can you feel me?” You whisper looking up to his face. “Look at me babe,”

He let’s out your name again from his lips sniffing. His eyes an ocean of red veins with tears dripping out. “Are you… Are you here with me right now?”

“Yes,” you nod your head a smile breaking out of your lips. “I never left you,” You place your hand over his chest rubbing it. Surely he can feel it because he places his own hand over his heart and bites his trembling lip. “I’m here,”

“I miss you so much,” He cries and shuts his eyes. He can’t hear you, but he can feel you. “I miss you so much…”

“I’m here,” You whisper out sniffing.

“No you’re not here… Jaemin was right,” He cries, and you hesitate a bit when hearing the foreign name. “I should’ve never came to see you, maybe you’d still be alive, maybe you’d-”

“It’s not your fault,” You mummer sadly listening to him blame himself. You gulp and shake your head rubbing his back. “Hyuck please stop, it was never your fault.” But he continues to speak… it’s when you understand that although he can feel you he actually can’t hear you.

“I wish I was there when you took your last breath. You took your last breath to a bunch of strangers and I wasn’t even there to… be with you.” He sniffs, hiccupping. He unpleasantly leans on his knees trying to control himself and his tears. “Were you scared? Taking your last breath, were you scared to cross over to the other side… you were alone. So alone. And that fucker blames me for suffocating you. Is that how you felt? Is that how you really felt? I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. Is it better that side? Is it better wherever you are?” He runs his hand over his hair. “Are you really here with me? Can’t I… follow you?”

“No.” You get on your knees and assuredly hug his knees. “Hyuck please don’t talk like this. It hurts me to see you like this. It hurts without you. It hurts not being able to live,”

“Are you… really here?”

“I am baby,” You grip him tighter. Even though he can’t hear you, you’re just filled with joy by his presence. “And I don’t plan on leaving you, so please, please Hyuck,” just stop talking nonsense.”

“You’re all worn out Donghyuck,” he faintly chuckles to himself. “You’re even hearing her voice,”

Your ears perk as he speaks. Kneeling down but facing him, you touch his face. Caressing him. “I’m in you Hyuck. I’m here,”

He scoffs. “Was that crap Jaemin was talking about true?”

“What?”

“Did I really suffocate you? Did I hurt you? Did you always call on Jaemin when I slept- was he the one you hid from me? Why didn’t you tell me anything- why didn’t you just fucking break up with me, if I was always on your case- why are you here? Why aren’t you with him? I hate that you’re gone. I hate that you left when you could’ve been alive. This is all my fault.” Donghyuck drunkenly sinks on his bed crying out. You’re just confused about everything he busted out. What was going on in the surface? Did he meet Jaemin or something? Did he really speak to Jaemin? What was Jaemin even saying- the anticipation killing you.

His eyes open up… his pupils slightly enlarge. Your eyes go all over his face and you can only wonder what he can see. He sits up on the bed still looking shocked. And this time his eyes don’t budge from yours. “Hyuck?”

His lips part and he freezes. “Y/n?” He carefully calls your name. “Is this real?” He sucks in a sharp breath. “You’re really… hey…” His eyes water up and he gently smiles.

“Hey,” You bite your lip feeling teary eyed.

“Y/n? Babe? Am I hallucinating-”

“That’s enough.” Like a shadow emerging from the darkness- a hand grips tightly onto your arm yanking you back into the shadows.

“Stop!” Of course it’s Mr Zhong. In his black suit, he gives you no time of his attention as he just drags you. You grip and try to pull away but his durability is great compared to your weak state. “Hey!”

You’re thrown on the floor of the elevator- his elevator and the doors close. Getting up you’re cross faced towards Mr Zhong however, your eyes take in the scenery of Donghyuck standing up on his feet in his dark room. He’s stationed in place with his arms lightly out. He pulls his curtain open and looks around his room. Your heart aches when you watch him bury his head in his hands before getting down on the ground shivering and another unruly cry escapes his already raspy throat.

“Have you lost your mind?” You now yell at Mr Zhong being furious. “Have you lost-”

“No the real question is, have you lost your damn freaking mind?! Why only now when we’re trying to get him to move on past you? Why are you here? Do you not understand how dangerous it is for you to be up here? What is wrong with you? Do you actually know how much risk you put yourself in when you continue to engage with Donghyuck this way-”

“I don’t care! I don’t give a damn because I’m just as broken! I’m just as sad as he is. That’s my boyfriend. I died and left him alone-”

“So why are you here!” He infuriatingly lets out, not minding that it actually hurt your feelings. “Why are you here? You should be dead!”

“I’m here because he needs me!” Holding back your tears you push him back when he gets too close. “He clearly needs me and you’re stopping me. You can’t stop me-”

“He doesn’t need you! What could he possibly do with you if you’re dead? Be depressed? Be sick? Die and follow you to the grave? Exactly. You have no place here. And that’s why you need to leave now. When you leave you’ll give him room to move on. Your presence here is holding him back-”

“I don’t want to leave him! He’s mine and I am his!” You stand your ground against him who’s just making you feel all sorts of anger. “I love him! I just want to be with him!”

His cheek pops out as he shakes his head folding his arms. “Well too bad. You just earned yourself a week in the cellar. If you do not want to cooperate with me then I’ll get you out of here by myself.”

“What is wrong with you? Why can’t I just-” The elevator door opens up and he’s back to grabbing you not paying mind to a word you say. You try to tell him to stop but he’s not letting you go. He drags you all the way to his room and tosses you inside, locking the door behind him, leaving you alone in his dark room. You huff and puff bang the door. But he doesn’t come back for you. Leaving you all alone.

Donghyuck returns back to work, melancholy and quiet. A few people from work greet him and pat his back just as others wish him well and pass their condolences. He sighs when nothing eventful happens throughout the day. He ends up going back home with the lingering thought of what occurred last night. Not the fight between him and Jaemin… but how he saw you. Or at least he wants to believe that he saw you. But he was drunk… there’s no way.

Another day passes, uneventful with him going home and sleeping. Another day passes and he feels so very alone and cries the whole day before getting up to go to work. He visits your grave, but nonetheless, he is troubled deeply. Mr Zhong inside is satisfied that everything is going according to plan. A few more days of melancholy will bring Donghyuck to slowly move on from you. And it so happens that when Donghyuck visits the grave again, he sees Taeyong.

“Oh,” Taeyong acknowledges Donghyuck. “How are you Donghyuck?”

“Hanging in there,”

“Yeah,” Making small talk with each other, they spend a good amount of time reminiscing on you that Donghyuck finally decides to open up something. “I… I’ve seen her a few times.” He meekly lets out while looking at your tombstone. “I’ve seen her a few times... even felt her. It’s like… she’s still here,”

Taeyong doesn’t respond immediately. He lets the words process before he can speak. “That night… after burying her, when we were eating… I felt her presence. It was like she was in the room with us. I don’t know what to make of it, but… If you feel her, then it should be a good sign. Maybe she’s looking after us before she… goes. Lucky you,”

-

It's sitting in the darkness of the room for several days and nights that has you feeling angry. You know what you have to do. You have to get back to Donghyuck. This guy (Mr Zhong) can’t keep trapping you down here.

If you can concentrate really hard then you might be able to get out of here. If you concentrate to the extreme you’ll be able to see him again. Only except everything in this room is dark and just so hard to see anything appear. You feel all kinds of annoyance gnawing upon you. But you hold yourself steady trying to think of an elevator again- or any means of escape. “Please let me just go to wherever Donghyuck is.” It’s only when you hear a pop(!) do you rapidly open your eyes when hearing the wind. Instead of a room, you’re actually outside. But it doesn’t appear to be the real world, instead it’s it really looks like the dreamscape city, only that it’s filled with clouds and buildings of all shapes and sizes are on the clouds. You turn your head back and forth hoping to see someone but you don’t. “Hello?” You logically call out.

“Yes?”

Snapping back and forth to find the source that is heard everywhere you look up to the pale orange bright sky. “Uhm, hi? Where are you?”

“Everywhere,” He clears out your thoughts. “Welcome to Dream Land, where every night we provide Donghyuck with a dream.”

Dreams… You can work with that. “So, what can I do if I want to be a part of Donghyuck’s dreams?” The silence follows for a few minutes, before you ask something else, not knowing if it’s ignoring you or what. “Can I be a part of Donghyuck’s dream?”

“Log in a file with Dream Corp and we’ll process it before Donghyuck arrives.”

“And where can I find that?” You furrow your brows. “And what do you mean before Donghyuck arrives?”

“Jump off.”

“What?”

This time the silence is everlasting. “I guess I’m jumping off.”

But just as you’re about to jump off- you take notice of you see him…. You see Donghyuck. You can’t believe your eyes, but you begin running towards him on the bumpy clouds. He walks to the edge just as your almost close to him and when he jumps you gasp but also jump after him. Thankfully your body clashes into his- and you grip him tight in a hug not letting him go. The wind blows and tugs on your body making you feel dizzy and sick but you hold on tight to Donghyuck. “Hyuck?” It doesn’t look like he realizes, but you see that his eyes are shut. Checking to see where you’re falling- you see the sky slowly turning dark before all of a sudden-

You’re thrusted straight onto a heavy ground. It doesn’t hurt like you expect it too- Donghyuck gets up still with his eyes closed and begins walking. There’s no time to adjust to your scenery or rather the pure blue sky with green grass blowing gently with 5 doors present for Donghyuck.

“Who’s in control?” You hear the skies asking.

“Sun.” A drowsy Donghyuck speaks.

“What door will you go through today?” The skies ask again. “We’ve got a quiet room, a nightmare seems to be brewing, a message from the angels and oh- Dream land informs me that Y/n has followed you.”

“In which… room will she be in?” You hear Donghyuck ask. As you walk forward to see his face, he doesn’t seem to be looking at you. Suddenly a thought comes inside of you to pick a door, where you’d like to speak with him.

Standing by a door, you hear the sky hum out. “She’s in room number 3. But beware, she didn’t pick an unoccupied dreamscape, she picked the dreamscape with the angels, so beware of Angels voices.

Donghyuck without hesitation follows to the room. You look at Donghyuck who opens up the door and you follow him.

-

“Where the hell is she?” As a nightly routine Mr Zhong enters your room to check up on you. Not seeing you on the bed he groans and walks in moving everywhere until he can determine that you’re not inside. Using his elevator he goes up to the surface and doesn’t see you in Donghyuck’s room. He comes back inside and furrows. He tries to sense for your presence but you’re nowhere around- he’ll be damned if he asks anyone if they’ve seen you. So he decides to go through some territories. The first is Sun.

Entering into the body territory he’s surprised to see what’s on the screen… is that… You?

“Sun what’s going on here?”

“We’re scheduled to be in Dreamland today, but you won’t believe who we encountered.” Sun speaks just as everyone looks too excited that they leap with joy around the body center. Mr Zhong shakes his head as he draws closer to the screen monitor- the monitor which reflects what Donghyuck can see in the Dream World.

You and him are talking… having a conversation. “What are they talking about?”

“We’re still in shock. We’ve been holding her here in place because his alarm clock is gonna ring in 10 minutes, we called Haechan over. He’s coming soon. It’s a shame he decided to make Donghyuck sleep at freaking 4 am in the morning, knowing very well that we need Donghyuck to rest up. The angels tried taking her away. What do you think this means?”

Mr Zhong curses. He can’t get you out of Dream Land by force, because he has no access there. How on earth did you get there? This is getting dangerous. If Haechan comes then-

“I came as quick as I heard the news. Where is she?”

“There.”

“Could it be? Is… is it really her?” He whimpers as he gets close to the screen. “Can I talk to her?”

“Yes, here.” Sun hands over the control to Haechan.

You watch Donghyuck’s head dip for a moment. “Hyuck? Hyuck? Is everything alright?” Sitting on the white blanket over the high grass, you just spent your time listening to the… angel… a huge white cloud covered in mist…. All the Angel did was stretch it’s hand towards you, repeating the phrase ‘Come home.’ You were so tempted to go… not knowing where, but Donghyuck held you back. The angel… kept saying ‘Come home’. And even now as Donghyuck holds onto his head, you wonder if he’s switching personalities from Sun to someone else… you hope it’s not Mr Zhong. So when he comes to a start you call: “Haechan?”

“How did you know it’s me? You still look so beautiful, my baby,” His teary eyes open and you smile holding onto his cheek. He holds onto your hand and kisses the inside of your palm. “You’re really here, I miss you so much, these past few days have been drowsy and lonely without you.”

“I don’t know how long I have until the dream is over, but I need your help Haechan,” You draw closer to him. “I know it’s going to be hard to believe, but ever since I’ve died… I’ve been here with you. Inside of your conscious…”

“You’ve been here? My conscious? That’s impossible.”

“Yes, every day I’ve been here. Close to you, hearing everything you’ve been doing. I fear that something is happening, they’re trying to make you forget me.” You nod your head trying to come clean. “I’ve been with a guy called Mr Zhong, and he keeps wanting me to get out of here. He’s in the Core-”

“Wait wait wait what?” He backs up-  “You had her all this time?” By now you know he’s not talking to you but someone else… in his head, as he looks to the side looking confused. “What do you mean she’s lying? Then who the hell am I speaking to? She said-”

BZZZZZZZZZZZZZ BZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ BZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ BZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ BZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ

You’re jolted to the side and suddenly… You’re back in the dark room. “What?” You get off the bed and wonder what happened? You run to the door- almost falling over when it opens instantly. Mr Zhong.

“I could strangle you to death right now.” He huffs and fumes. Holding his hand out, you watch on object appear. “I’m bounding you in chains. Because I can’t trust you.” You’re surprised when he holds onto your hand and chains you to the bed. You plead in shock trying to pull away. He gets tape and places it over your lips. You watch him walk out the room before a pit of darkness is formed. Muffling your cries you can’t believe that this is happening again. How long will he trap you in here? It’s not fair.

The next day Donghyuck awakes from a confused dream, he remembers seeing you and hearing you. He saw you wanted to go to the light but he held you back pleading you to stay with him. He goes to work, it’s a FrIday so the day drags as he’s got no plans.

Meanwhile inside of him, there’s a full on search for you.

Sun begin to ‘take the wheel’ and run Donghyuck’s body, simply because Mr Zhong is in a meeting with Haechan. Thus, leaving Donghyuck to be run by Sun. Who is active tonight.

Donghyuck finds himself in a bar. Dimmed lights, bass so low, alcohol and pool tables being the only source of entertainment for the few loitering people inside the bar on the casual Friday night. Donghyuck is obviously here for the alcohol to drink and just forget... and slowly pass into tomorrow. He doesn’t want to wake up. If anything he wishes to dream about you again. He doesn’t want to feel anything. He just wants to be numb and drink… It’s what the Body wants anyway. The pain of crying for your death is too much… they just want to be numb.

“Hey,”

Donghyuck looks up to the bartender… It’s Jisung. Unlike the other days when Jisung’s face is upbeat and ready for a conversation, he looks down casted, and Donghyuck can guess why. “Hi.” He greets back lowly clearing his throat that sounded so clogged and choked from crying. “Can I get a row of shots.”

Jisung nods his head.

“Regular or-”

“No.” Donghyuck shakes his head. “I want something strong. Really, really strong.”

“Coming right up.” He’s tempted to go, but after hearing the news and seeing all over his social media about your death, he sticks around. “Sorry about your loss man,” He pipes up. He’d recall how you and Donghyuck used to be tight. You guys would often come to the bar to celebrate together… in a quiet space, laughing and giggling, getting tipsy and touching each other till you’d both go home and do just what he can imagine. You were a pleasure in Jisung’s low key bar. He enjoyed seeing a young couple be together for a long time and staying consistent to their ‘Friday night bar night’. Not only did he know he’d get money on that day, but he also knew you’d grace him with compliments about how fine he looks especially when you wanted to make your boyfriend a bit jealous. But now seeing Donghyuck here all on his own, looking like shit is a representation of how he must feel inside.

“It’s cool.” Donghyuck quickly discards. You were friendlier with Jisung then Donghyuck was. “Can I just have my shots?”

But Jisung is in a caring mood tonight and opts for a conversation instead. “You know, I lost a friend of mine once, and I realized that drinking my pain away wouldn’t do much, so I-”

‘Why the fuck is he not giving me my drinks?’ Sun complains looking at the screen of Donghyuck’s eyes. ‘Ask him again.’

Donghyuck interrupts Jisung. “Look man, tonight’s just not one of those nights. I just want to drink.”

“Truth be told, you actually look like you need a chat. And all I’m saying is that I’m all ears-”

“Thanks for the offer, I’ll take it into consideration.” Donghyuck tightly smiles with no emotions in his eyes. “But may I please just have my drinks.”

Jisung takes the hint when seeing Donghyuck’s cold gaze. “Ayt, but just so you know-”

Banging the table furious and abruptly standing up Donghyuck grabs Jisung by the collars staring at him deadly in the eye. “I just want a fucking drink.” Grating his teeth, Donghyuck tosses Jisung back, leaving the poor guy startled by what just happened.

“Alright shit. I’ll get you your damn drinks.” Jisung stares shocked and eyes still in a daze. “Just calm the fuck down before you get beat the fuck up.” Jisung turns around still with an upset gaze as he fixes up the drinks.

“You know what,” Donghyuck doesn’t finish his sentence as he gets up and heads out. You weren’t here anymore it would be pointless to carry on the tradition without you. He’s just gonna go to the club.

-

“Come with me.” Is the first thing Mr Zhong says when opening up the door. He unchains you just by opening up the palm of his hand.

“Where?”

He ignores you and carries on walking. Trying to show him that you’re angry is pointless as he doesn’t even pay mind to your face. He steps in the elevator and you’re next to him before the doors close and suddenly you’re in a dimly lit place.

“I must warn you.” Mr Zhong speaks as he steps out. “The Mind’s layout isn’t as civil as the upper Core or Cyber Dream.” Mr Zhong places his hand on the handle of a door that reads ‘MIND’ and grips it tightly. “Stay by me at all times. And please, do not touch anything. That’s a warning.”

“I won’t.” You grumpily say, as realization dawns on you that you’re going to the Mind. Walking behind Mr Zhong at all times, you tremble with every step, as the floors shake. “Why’s the floor shaking so much?” You question and stand still when you feel another heavy tremor.

Mr Zhong sighs. “That’s not the Mind for sure, the Body is partying or something.”

“Partying?” You go on. “You could’ve just used your elevator.”

“Unfortunately here I can’t use much of my power, because this isn’t my domain or territory.” Mr Zhong fills you in. “When we’re in the Upper part of Donghyuck’s body, I’m in control. But from the neck downwards, this is the Body and Mind’s layers.”

Still following behind Mr Zhong, you take in all the aspects of the Mind, which is a literal bloody sight. The walls are hollow red with veins gauging out from time to time and blood being spilled before a few ‘workers’ in red… just with empty faces quickly come and clean up. Everywhere is red, veiny and just so flesh like. The deeper you go, the darker it gets. Maroon and smelling like his natural scent. Right now you feel so close to him even though you can’t see him. There’s a door that says ‘heart’ and you furrow your brows.

“Are we going in there?”

“You’re about to head into Donghyuck’s heart. Literally.” Mr Zhong is about to speak, but the space and area around gets darker then usual, not even the maroon bloody lights can light up the way to the door. “We have to hurry, the Body is doing things that I hate again.”

“Such as?”

“Drinking. I don’t know if you recall but Donghyuck once exposed to alcohol, large portions of it, he does crazy things.” You get a flash of Donghyuck drinking and you recall just how wild he was. Mr Zhong mumbles finally getting to the door. “A damn alcoholic.”

Just from opening up the door, you feel this deflated downing energy, everything is lifeless and your ears are exposed to weeping. You swear that’s one of the common sounds you’ve been hearing from Donghyuck. He’s just been a crying mess. Instantly you feel emotional and your eyes water up as well. Why’d you have to leave him all alone? The room is still dark but every once in a while it flashes a little maroon and then you’re able to take in the view. Just like the upper Core room, it’s spacious but instead of multiple little Donghyuck’s running around, there’s only one person seated behind a desk looking at screens. When you look at the screen you see dimed videos of your face, your lips, your laugh and how the specific moments shown on the screen remind you of special times you’ve had with Donghyuck.

Whether it’s holding hands and just looking up to him with innocent eyes. Or your muted talking as you smile at him. Haechan, The Mind seems to be watching it all.

There’s one where you’ve just won the scrabble competition (in which you represented your university) and you jump up high cheering on as the crowd around and your teammates also join in on the celebration. You can see Donghyuck from his eyes point of view running towards you yelling out in pure ecstasy and joy! Once he gets to you, he lifts you up so high that you begin laughing, and when he brings you back down, your lips and his merge and he holds you so tight. You recall how the week before you were so stressed that you deprived him of any kisses, of any attention just so that you could study and prepare for the competition. So to watch it again, brings a memory to your head of how thrilled Donghyuck was on your behalf.

Another video that plays on the screen in how you’re sitting on his lap as he plays video games. You’re on your phone texting your friend while he’s immersed into the game and talking to his friends over the microphone. It was just calm and simple, and then out of nowhere he kissed your cheek. “I love you, you know that right?”

“I know,” You smiled at him placing a kiss over his lips. “I love you too,”

One video captures your attention the most. It’s just your face as you’re sleeping. The room is a bit dark, but from Donghyuck’s eyes he can see you. He leans close and kisses your forehead. You hum out with a little chuckle.

“Babe just sleep,”

“I can’t,” he whispers, and you can tell he’s smiling. You can’t remember this at all, but just watching how pure everything looks as he draws closer to you and wraps his arms around you. Moaning and continuously pampering your face with kisses. “This is the first time you’re sleeping here in my room, and I’m just realizing how perfect you are for me,”

“Hyuck, sleep,” You giggle. “You’re pussy drunk,” you mumble but still accept his kisses on your face.

You can hear him laughing… “You were so good tonight,” he whispers. You smile to yourself, in faint remembrance, it’s the first time you made love to him. You were flattered the entire night, and he was submissively dominant with you and at the end, he couldn’t stop admiring and praising you. “I can’t believe how good you were,”

There’s a long pause of silence. “My parents would’ve killed you,”

“Why?”

“We had sex before marriage,” you mutter out. Donghyuck looks down to how your arms wrap around him and you get closer to his body. “I don’t think they’d approve,”

Donghyuck is silent for a really long time before he finally speaks. “The purpose of marriage, to my understanding as you’ve said before, is for emotional commitment. We’ve been together for like 4 years now. If we weren’t in love at that moment, then it was just going to be sex. But right now, tell me what you feel? Was it just sex?”

Donghyuck looks down to you as you look up to him with a little smile. You shake your head. “It wasn’t just sex because I felt safe. As in, I wasn’t scared to give you my whole body, my whole mind… my everything. I’m not scared or anything, because I know that you’re my lover, and I will always be there for you. The same way you’ll be there for me, right?” Your eyes look so hopeful.

“You have no idea how much, I just want to spend the rest of my life with you,” Donghyuck smiles kissing your lips as you kiss his again.

“I feel like I don’t want this night to end,” You lay your head on his chest and Donghyuck’s fingers play with your back and your head.

“Same here,” he mumbles. “So let’s make it official,”

That gets you to turn your head and rest your chin on his chest. “What are you saying Hyuck?” You laugh a little. “That was just so sudden,”

“You’re so beautiful like this,” he giggles, running his hand over your hair and down your face. “I’m saying we make it official. Courtship. Let’s just spend the rest of these months seeing what marriage would be like, and if you like, I’ll buy you a ring,”

You squint your eyes at him with a playful smile. “Dude, are you serious?” You laugh. “Is this like a proposal or something?”

“I mean, I can’t get on my knee now and propose can I?”

“Donghyuck,” You can’t stop smiling as you watch him get up. You too get up as you wrap the blanket over your boobs. Donghyuck sits up and reaches down into his pants. Your eyes enlarge when he gets out a ring. Thankfully, as you remember, it’s his own ring. “For a second there, I thought that was a real ring.”

“But then again, wouldn’t you want me to propose in a grand dramatic way?” He chuckles as he holds his hand out. You place yours on his hand and he kisses it looking at you. “Here’s my ring, this will be my commitment to you.”

“So much for a purity ring,” You giggle as you watch him place the ring on your index finger.

“It can still be a purity ring,” He pats your chin. “Just with a different meaning. We’ll wait again,”

“Hyuck this is huge,” You whisper, blushing and looking at the ring. “I don’t know if I’m saying yes because I’m dick drunk, or if I really want to,”

“That’s why I said, we’ll wait,” He lays back down, just as you follow him. You’re just giggling as you lay your head on his chest.

“Hyuck you’re crazy, right now you’re just crazy,” You’re laughing as you look up to him. “I’m just as crazy,”

“Crazy people get divorced even after promising each other that they wouldn’t.” Donghyuck says. “I don’t plan on making a commitment I can’t keep. Especially when it involves you babe,”

“Same here,” You whisper out. “I guess, till death do us apart,”

“Never,” Donghyuck shakes his head. “My love for you goes beyond that. Even in the next life, if there is one. I just want to keep loving you… and only you. No one else. I’d probably not be able to move on,”

Mr Zhong hears that, and he can remember that the Upper Core wasn’t in control that night, neither was the Body. The one in control was the Mind, Haechan. Mr Zhong reminiscences just how he was that night when Donghyuck was mindlessly pouring out his heart. Mr Zhong knew that his friend loved you so much, but hearing this confession, these were the Mind’s thoughts. He never knew it ran this deep. He thought it was just a physical attraction to you. That the Body, Sun, loved your body and was finally happy to have sex with someone. Mr Zhong didn’t know that the one in control of these recurring feelings was the Mind. It just explains how precious you are to Donghyuck as a whole. It also just goes to show how far Haechan was willing to go if he gave you a ‘purity’ ring. Mr Zhong turns to you, and you’re a crying mess. You’re crying silently and he can only guess that Haechan too is crying silently while watching this. He sighs. He already got in so much trouble for hiding you. There was no way now that Haechan would release you.

Your voice catches Haechan and he instantly presses pause on the video snapping his head back. Of course his teary eyes are red from mourning you, but when he sees you and Mr Zhong, his posture immediately straightens and he tries to act cool. “You’re here.” He clears his throat. “I was just…”

“Haechan.” Mr Zhong moves forwar-

“Were you really going to marry me?” You ask.

Haechan’s eye instantly go over to you. Your face still so real and beautiful. He nods his head. His voice coming out lowly, afraid that you’ll be taken away just like all the other times. This time he takes in your presence and beauty… you’re here. “I wanted to, I still do,” he tilts his head to the side as you get swamped in his eyes. “You’re just as beautiful,”

Your heart swells with such pain, and you gulp looking down. “Mr Zhong,” You turn to Mr Zhong, pleadingly. Mr Zhong can tell where it’s going, and he doesn’t want you to go there in that direction so he looks away from you and continues talking to the Mind.

“Haechan.” He calls, bringing Haechan’s eyes away from you and to him. “Right now we’re in a dilem-”

The ground shakes tremendously and Mr Zhong holds onto the chair just as Haechan keeps his hands on the desk. You meanwhile sway with the violent shake. It happened again.

Mr Zhong sighs. “Haechan, you know how reckless Sun is when he’s in control. Please. I came here to just talk to you about Y/n and how you have to let her go.”

“Straight to the point.” Haechan scoffs and looks away. “After hiding her away from us you just want to bring her back and then take her away again. You’re so full of shit.”

“You know what will happen if she stays here longer. I know it’s hard to-” Mr Zhong quivers when another tremor erupts. Shit. Donghyuck is probably in a club or something, drinking badly and the body is allowing him to do whatever.

“You know what Mr Zhong. I’m not in a mood to talk to you.” Haechan starts and presses some buttons on the keyboard trying to see what’s going on out there. Unlike when the core loses control to the body, the mind can actually gain control back. But when seeing where Donghyuck is, Haechan shakes his head. In a club. With several bodies jumping and bumping into him. And to make it worse, Donghyuck is tipsy. How much did he drink? “You said we should have 2 weeks of grieving. I can grant you that. But I can’t let go of Y/n,”

“Haech-”

“Bro she’s here.” Haechan turns around snapping. “She’s literally here.” His voice pipes down. “She’s not just some imagination like I thought she was. I thought I was going crazy, but man, she’s here. Do you know I felt when Donghyuck was about to die when going down that mountain in speed… and then I saw and heard her voice? Do you know how shitty I felt when Jaemin accused me of killing her? Do you have any idea how worthless I’ve been feeling these past days just seeing myself in the mirror? But the mere thought of her… Mr Zhong… just thinking of her, I’d feel whole again. That night when I first felt her hand I didn’t know what to believe. But then I saw her. I stopped Donghyuck from ending it, because of her. I thought she was just a... a figment of his imagination. But she’s not. She’s real. She’s here. I just want to be here with her,”

“You’re gonna regret it.” Mr Zhong whispers out of your ear shot and he gets closer to Haechan. “Do you want her to become like me?”

That seems to get Haechan upset as he pushes on Mr Zhong’s chest. You can only wonder what’s happening as you see the anger cross over Haechan’s eyes. “She won’t become like you.”

“How sure are you?” Mr Zhong clinches his jaw. His eyes deadly and even a bit tearful. “How sure are you that she won’t be st-”

“Because I love her!” Haechan yells out. “And times are different. She’s here for a reason. And that’s what I’ll keep my mind to.”

“Haechan yo-” Another tremor causes Mr Zhong to screech out in annoyance. He needed to get out of here and try and gain control of Donghyuck again to get him out of the bar and go home… but now, he’s just really upset that Haechan doesn’t want to consider his thoughts. “Fuck. I can’t stand this. I already told you that this isn’t up for discussion. I’m doing everyone here a favor. Afer 2 weeks. I’ll make her leave. Let’s go.”

“Can I just stay here for little bit Mr Zhong,” You ask gently still looking at Haechan. When he looks at you too, simultaneously you can feel like there’s a literal connection.

“No you can’t stay here.”

“But-”

“I said let’s go.”

“Come to think of it.” Haechan speaks up with his eyes turning to a glare when looking at Mr Zhong. “You defiled me by going behind my back and assigning her to the Core. Who made you in charge of her?”

Mr Zhong sighs. “It’s the fact that I knew that if you knew, or rather if anyone else in this place knew that she was alive in, that you wouldn’t let her go. I was protecting her. From this.”

“You don’t have to protect her anymore. She’s got her own conscious. Her own mind.”

“Let’s go.” Mr Zhong turns his back and walks to the door not wanting to argue about this.

Your heart is beating fast, but when Haechan’s soft gaze turns to you, as if telling to do what you must, you feel safe being with him. “No.”

“No?” Mr Zhong turns around in stun and surprise. He stomps to you, but you’re quickly pulled back just as Haechan gets in front of you. “Haechan get out of my face.”

“She said no.” Haechan’s low voice is nothing to mess with as he sounds threatening. “Last I checked. You’re in my territory. You’ve got no power here. So leave. Before I make you.”

“Haechan.”

“Mr Zhong.” Haechan calls firmly.  You peek from behind Haechan, and Haechan can feel just how your tiny fingers gently come up on his sides. He misses this. He misses this feeling. “I said leave.”

Mr Zhong clinches his jaw. He strides out with so much anger in him. When the door closes, there’s another tremor that makes itself known. But you hold tighter onto Haechan as his hands stretch out behind you making sure you’re steady.

Haechan’s fingers over you, and yours on his sides makes you feel good.

Even though you’ve always been around the others who look like Donghyuck, being alone right now with Haechan feels equivalent to being with Donghyuck. You just want to see his face. You want to feel him. To just…

“I just want you to be alive,” Haechan steals the words from your lips, as he whispers it to you. Still not being able to look at your face. He’s finally alone with you, but it feels so sacred.

“But I’m here,” you mutter and peek your head on his shoulder looking into his eyes. “It’s you that’s not here,”

“I am though,” That gets him to slowly turn around and longingly tilt his head down. “I’m the realist thing to Donghyuck. His spirit,” Haechan’s eyes that were clear are now glassy. You’re so real… He can’t believe you’re here. “But Mr Zhong is right,” He sniffs surprisingly himself when saying that. It feels good to have you this real in front of him. “You can’t stay here,” But he doesn’t want to ruin things.

“Why?” You shake your head, your arms still being around him as your eyes search all over his own. “Why can’t I be here with you, isn’t this better than actually being dead?”

“Is it,” He runs his hands down your face. “It fucking is.”

Once Mr Zhong gets to the Upper core room, he’s stunned when looking at the screen and seeing Donghyuck making out with some random woman... “You’ve gotta be shitting me. What the hell is the Body doing?”

But also down at the Body, Sun is surprised by the sudden kiss that Donghyuck gives to a random lady. Of course the lady is confused at first but then she gives into the kiss and has her arms around him. “That’s not us. Who’s in control right now?”

Haechan picks you up by your waist, as you wrap your legs around him. “I just want you so bad right now,”

“Have me all you want,” You’re breathless when kissing Haechan back equally as hard and longingly.

All the way in the control centers, Sun tries to stop the action of Donghyuck getting down on a girl. Mr Zhong watches as Donghyuck is hooked to the girl he’s making out with- it’s getting pretty strong as instantly Donghyuck’s hormones act as an edge for him to feel needy and lustful. And thus, the Core’s lights slowly begin to shut down… allowing the body to have full control of the erotic moment.

“We’re supposed to be grieving, what the hell.” Mr Zhong walks away, not wanting to feel any part of these emotions.

Sun in the Body center feels the heat just from the simple kiss turning to French, but he too wonders who’s in control of the heavy, needy, lustfully intention. He watches as the familiar lights turn dim showing that the body is not in control. Although he watches, he’s quite upset that it’s not Y/n that Donghyuck is kissing.

However for Haechan who’s full on hands with you, doesn’t notice the bright light shining within the mind, showing that he’s now in full control.

Donghyuck has no time to think, he’s thoughts are clouded by the steamy make out session that he has with the lady. They move from the dance floors to the public toilet, barely even walking straight and moving in a tipsy needy way to one of the stalls, Donghyuck’s morals are forsaken when he takes the girl in a seemingly loving passionate way. As he’s drunk it’s difficult for him to control or focus, but one thing he knows is that for some reason in this moment… he feels closer to you. You’re here with him. He can strongly feel that. Even though the little part in his core knows it’s not you, he still feels your strong presence.

Haechan places you on a table in another section of his own control center, your lips not leaving his once just as he unfastens his band and pulls down his pants till his waist. You pull your skirt up and remove your underwear, Haechan gently places his tip in between your wet folds before breaking the kiss and taking a peek at you. Your cheeks are a shade pink and you nervously smile. “Do you trust me?”

“Always,” Your heart beat syncs again as he keeps his grip on your waist, with his other hand on his member as it strokes over your wet folds. It’s the fact that he was your first and you’ve only done it once with him, but you still feel so cautious and nervous. Being here with him in... inside of Donghyuck, you still feel so much love and passion oozing out of him, and all the emotions are washed into you. When he pushes more into you, you arch your back and hold him closer.

“Hyuck,”

Donghyuck hears the soft whimper in his head, he hears your soft yelp and it only causes him to pull the random girl closer to him. His lips find hers, envisioning it as ‘yours’- but even though he envisions it – he still feels strongly close to you. Haechan takes control allowing you to feel much more comfortable as he moves a bit quicker. Donghyuck feels so much pleasure as he pounds harder and faster making love to you- even though he’s with a random person.

Even when he locks eyes with her all he can see in his head is you. He can hear you, he can feel you. He doesn’t know how, but feeling so close to you in this moment allows him to hold you close. Mr Zhong tries to block out the protruding thoughts that Donghyuck thinks over and over again. The moaning, the love making-

His eyes slowly enlarge… “The body is not in control right now… because Donghyuck’s drunk… that means… Haechan’s having sex with Y/n.” Mr Zhong cuss when realizing that disobeyed him and that you’re probably touching Haechan right now. “What’s wrong with this girl?” He gets up from his chair quickly using his elevator to go down to The Mind. Once the elevator door opens up, he speed walks along the long bloody corridor trying to reach to Haechan’s center quickly.

The random girl’s legs grip Donghyuck’s waist closer to her as he pounds harder and faster, getting sloppier each time she squirts. He’s weak, he can feel an overwhelming amount of pleasure. His eyes are tightly shut kissing the girl’s face off. But then-

All of a sudden he feels like he’s getting slapped. A sharp slap gets him falling out of the girl and on the floor.

“Oh- are you okay?” The girl asks slightly frustrated that she was close before pulled out suddenly, heavily panting, her legs shaking begging for more. She uses her own fingers to finish off closing her eyes angling her head upwards.

Donghyuck however is still in a trance. Did someone just slap him? He blinks several times to get rid of being dizzy, but all he can see is his stiffly hard cock popping. He gets up holding onto the sink. He tries to calm himself off. It’s strange how suddenly, he’s no longer in the mood to get off. Stuffing his stiff manhood back in his drawer and getting his pants up, he looks up at the mirror- ignoring the girl who’s finishing off by herself. In the mirror he sees himself.

Tired. Drained.

He calls your name silently when thinking back to what he saw and heard in his head. It’s like you where there with him. He could feel you, literally feel you. Woozily moving to the side, he watches the girl squeal out before another stream of cum leaves her throbbing pink pussy. It doesn’t turn him on, it only makes him feel sad, especially when the girl’s face is revealed. Its not you. He steps back, finding himself out of the toilet and eventually drunkenly passing by the crowd trying to get himself to go out.

The fast pace emotions and mind wondering what’s going on inside of him- he stops once he’s outside the club and hurls out on the ground. Some passers pull gross faces moving away from him, the bouncer of the club groans and grabs a handful of Donghyuck’s shirt before violently tossing him further away from the club doors. Donghyuck hits his head and suddenly he’s out of conscious.

“Hyuck,”

“Mh?”

“Hyuck wake up,”

“Hm?”

Donghyuck’s head is buzzing when hearing something… your voice. He jolts up instantly when pairing it to your voice, but… you’re nowhere in sight. Left and right he turns his head before wincing and holding onto his stomach. He notices that he’s somehow by your family old home, by the graveyard… wait… how did he get here?

Minutes before….

“No!” Mr Zhong grabs your hand forcing you out of Haechan’s grip. “No more!”

“Why the hell do you want me gone so bad!” You screech pulling your hand violently away from him just as he shuts the door to lock Haechan away and his elevator comes. “Why can’t I just be happy with Donghyuck-”

“Look around! This isn’t the fucking real world anymore.” Mr Zhong motions around when suddenly the elevator reaches the Upper Core room. Of course some core members are surprised when seeing you, but now, even though Donghyuck/Sun is drunk, it’s no secret that you’ve been inside of him for a long time. “You’re trapped here! The longer you fool around here, the harder it’ll be for you to get out-”

“And what if I don’t want to go out! What if I want to be here, inside of him!” Your eyes water up. “What if I don’t want to go- he buried my body ready to leave me behind… what if I’m afraid of leaving him, of leaving everything behind- of just… of just dying.” Weakly your legs give out as you fall to the ground when he tosses you in his dark room.

He’s about to close the door on you but you shed some tears saying something that has him frozen in spot. “I don’t want to go Mr Zhong. I don’t want to leave everything behind. I’m not ready to die. I don’t want to leave Donghyuck. I love him. I don’t want to go. I don’t want to die. I just want to love him… I just want him. I want my life back… I want him so much.”

Mr Zhong watches you on the floor balling your eyes out. The realization coming again that you’re dead and that really you have left the world. Silently he takes a seat on the ground allowing you your moment to grieve. He knows it’s hard. He knows what you’re feeling. He knows it all. He understands your tears and pain, it’s why he tries to cool himself down to speak to you more calmly.

“I’m going to tell you a little story.” He speaks in a whispering tone. “And if this doesn’t change your mind, I promise you I’ll stop trying to get you out of here.” He gulps. “If this story doesn’t change your mind, you’ll be stuck in here… with me. Like me. You’ll have Donghyuck, but it’s not as luxurious as it seems.”

You quietly exhale listening to him as that gets your attention. You look at him seated across from you. Even though darkness is second nature, you can still see him. And by his words, you already prepare yourself to stay with Donghyuck… Haechan and Sun, because there is nothing that he will say that will make you want to leave. You just can’t wait to stay with Haechan.

“Donghyuck was only 9 years old when this happened. He met a boy. An 8 year old boy. A foreign exchange student who moved from China to Korea. Donghyuck and the boy instantly clicked despite the language barrier. They clicked in such a way that the young boy’s parents were relieved that their son had made a friend. Donghyuck taught the boy how to speak and was just of much help to the young boy whenever. The boy’s parents loved Donghyuck. So it was only natural that Donghyuck and the young boy ended up becoming best friends who did everything together.”

Your ears are attentive when listening to this story. You’re hooked, not because of the young 9 year old Donghyuck, but because of how Mr Zhong speaks. This is almost the first time he’s looking vulnerable.

“One day they were walking home for school… and came across a junkyard. Curiously they snuck inside the forbidden territory and began exploring. They discovered so many new things and even took some souvenirs.” Mr Zhong chuckles faintly. “The young boy suggested playing a game before they left. Hide and seek. They played that game back and forth in the junkyard,” Mr Zhong’s face slowly scrunches in confusion. “They played 4 games before it was Donghyuck’s turn again. Donghyuck…”

You look up when Mr Zhong stops speaking. You’re surprised to see him with one hand tightly over his mouth as his own eyes are glistening and look moist. You don’t speak, watching him stay quiet. He regains composure again and removes his hand from his face.

“The young boy hid in a freezer. It was broken of course, so he felt safe getting inside of it. In his hiding position from time to time he would open the top and peek his head out. He laughed when he could see Donghyuck getting confused… it’s through the little laughs and giggles that Donghyuck spotted him. He was busted… but then… Something happened.” Mr Zhong licks his dry lips as he stares into the void. “The young boy watched Donghyuck getting approached by some guy in uniform. The guy said something that made Donghyuck nervously turn and began heading in the direction of the exit. For some reason Donghyuck left. The young boy was too afraid to step out of the freezer just in case the man would yell and shout. He waited for a really long time. Because now there wasn’t just one man, but they were many men walking around the junkyard. The boy was getting scared. He just thought that if he sat inside quietly, that when those men would go away he’d quickly sneak out and run. Unfortunately for him, those men stayed for hours on end. They were construction site workers. So, they were working. He began losing hope but then- the freezer top lip opened. He thought that he was caught… thankfully it was just Donghyuck. Donghyuck looked nervous and scared but he assured the boy to quickly climb out. The boy tried climbing out… and he… he…” Mr Zhong stops and turns to the floor, he sniffs.

You don’t know what has the most of your attention now. Perhaps it’s the story, maybe the expression Mr Zhong uses, or it could be that… that little boy was Mr Zhong…

“I can’t remember well what happened from there, but I know for some reason, Donghyuck was knocked over and fell to the ground when a sudden… claw came from the sky… and… picked up the freezer. The young boy was tossed back inside freezer… Chugged around as if he was in a washing machine.” Mr Zhong bites his lip. “He tried getting up to get out. But he was struggling to lift the lid up… It… the freezer was being lifted up and then from such a high feet it dropped to the bottom… causing the freezer door to creak a little. But… the boy was already injured. He still tried to lift the lid up with one arm. He saw that he was on a moving platform. He needed to get out fast. It was already too late… the boy died a slow painful death… however his spirit did not die… it was called back.”

“Mr Zhong?” You call out sadly as you watch him shiver.

“Donghyuck ran home. He ran home and… shut himself in his room.” Mr Zhong’s eyes stay closed. “The young boy’s parents came over, they were anxious worried and crying… they asked if Donghyuck had seen him, and Donghyuck… he lied. He said, he hadn’t. The parents filed a missing case report. That whole week was a nightmare… Every day when Donghyuck would go to the school, he’d see the boy’s mother standing outside the gate with a poster of her missing son. She’d desperately ask the other kids if they’d seen him. But no one had. Donghyuck… felt guilty. From time to time he went to the junkyard to search for the young boy. Donghyuck was… traumatized. Guilt ate him from the inside… he refused to move on without finding the body… because by now he already knew that the young boy was dead.”

“Mr Zhong…” you cup your mouth.

“Donghyuck refused to move on. He was scared that he had killed someone else’s son. But something crazy happened. He prayed to find the boy.” Mr Zhong opens his eyes. “The boy was dead, but somehow, he was still inside of him. Donghyuck began hearing voices in his head. He’d see images of the little boy… they’d talk together in his room. Although physically the boy wasn’t there, Donghyuck saw this kid with his own naked eyes in the spiritual world. The little boy too… he didn’t know what was going on but he just wanted to go home to his parents… he wanted to leave Donghyuck’s mind, but Donghyuck insisted that he’d find a way out for the boy. It was comforting at first… but as days turned to weeks, and weeks turned to months, the little boy began getting sucked into a personality that wasn’t his. He wanted to leave, but Donghyuck didn’t want to let him go. Donghyuck promised the boy that he’d find a way out for him… so that he could live again. I think that’s why the little boy stayed… he thought he could live again- he ignored all the doors that opened up to try and help him to leave and instead he stayed in Donghyuck. Being inside of Donghyuck, had him feeling that he was still alive and that he could come back alive. If only they could find his body then they could make him come alive.”

There’s a moment of silence as your eyes water… could this little boy be… You’re completely speechless as you listen to Mr Zhong…

“Of course this brought attention to Donghyuck as his own parents saw how the death affected their son… they watched Donghyuck talk to himself about a way to escape… they saw their son obsessed with talking to ghosts and wanting them to come alive… so… they had him hypnotized.” Mr Zhong looks to his own hands. “Hypnotized to forget the little boy. A so called solution to make him stop seeing things. And it worked. They didn’t help him move on, or even help the little boy trapped to get out. No. They just erased the little kid from his head. And so, the next morning, when the boy woke up and tried to speak to Donghyuck. Donghyuck never heard a thing. It began getting scary, as the only way out was shut completely. The little boy slowly became lonely as his own best friend… forgot him. Do you know how many years went by? Do you know how lonely it got when his own friend grew a conscious and couldn’t even recognize him? Do you know how terrifying it got to wake up in the same place every day being forced to forget who he was? He hadn’t seen his family in so long? Everything the little boy loved, he couldn’t properly because he was now forced to become someone else. He missed touch, tasting? Seeing and living with his own eyes and life. Do you know what it means to give up your life for someone else? Do you know just the amount of endurance the boy had to go through, adjusting to the fact that he was now forced to live as someone else? That little boy has been alone for more than 22 years and it may seem fantastic to spend your life trapped inside of someone, but you’ll begin to feel the effects when the person you’re in doesn’t even know who you are.”

You shake your head. “Mr Zhong, I don’t get this. What does this have to do with me? I hate to be inconsiderate, but it’s not like they hypnotized him to forget about me.”

Mr Zhong nods his head. “True. My best friend was hypnotized to forget me. So of course that doesn’t affect you. It was pointless telling you that story, I should’ve just skipped straight to the point.” You had a feeling he was telling the story about himself… but hearing him actually confessing to the name has you sinking in sadness. Until he opens his mouth… “I stayed here because Donghyuck refused to confess what he’d done to me. My soul has become restless. Rest less spirits don’t go to their resting place. No, they stay here until the person who killed them, confesses to either moving on, or admitting what they had done.”

Your heart sinks… drops to the ground. What did he just say? “Restless spirit?”

“Why do you think you’re in here?

“I didn’t mean to be insensitive Mr Zhong… but this isn’t funny. What you’re saying is scary…”

“I asked you why you think you’re here?” He ignores you and continues. “Donghyuck may have not been the one who ran you over, but he… did do something. He refuses to let you go. He wants you to haunt him until he’s dead. Just wait and see how he’ll be so obsessed with spending so much time in his ‘head’ with you that in the outside world they deem him crazy. Watch as friends begin to see him as strange because he doesn’t want to break the bond he has with you, watch as your brothers get annoyed that he keeps using your name in vain, watch as his perfectly normal life spirals into only wanting to focus on you. Just watch and see how the only answer that will make sense to him is death. Suicide. Watch as you see him paying all his attention on you and neglecting that he really has a life.”

Hearing that, it doesn’t sound as bad… “That doesn’t sound as bad.”

Mr Zhong shakes his head. It’s like you’re okay with being trapped here. It’s like you’re okay with letting Donghyuck not have a life anymore as he focuses on you. You’re okay with letting him not move on from you, to try and find another kind of happiness. You’re okay with making him numb to reality and float by like a ghost. You’re selfishly okay with him not moving on. By allowing Donghyuck to self-destruct. You’re selfish.

Mr Zhong gets up and shakes his head. “The dark truth about death, is that you end up losing everything and everyone you love. Once you’re dead it’s over. No second chances. One thing that I’ve learnt while being here, is that you either help the person to move on, or you haunt them with your presence, adding a cloud over their head. Weighing them down as they live with unsaid and unspoken confessions. So as you embark on this journey, I’m begging you don’t be the downfall of Donghyuck.”

The truth is, Mr Zhong never forgave Donghyuck for what he did to him. He never forgave Donghyuck for ending his life. Even though it wasn’t Donghyuck who killed him, Donghyuck could’ve said something, confessed of where Mr Zhong last was. Could’ve said… sorry.

When Mr Zhong woke up inside of Donghyuck he had the option to leave peacefully, or try to use Donghyuck’s body to shout and confess to the world. But unfortunately for him, his greed to be noticed inside of Donghyuck costed him his eternity and made him unknown. The bitterness inside of Mr Zhong transferred to Donghyuck, and added the personality and the greed and need to poses everything and anything. Maybe it’s why Donghyuck is just so obsessed over you like that. He miscalculated and ended up getting stuck inside of Donghyuck. Mr Zhong was forgotten. And maybe you won’t be forgotten, but surely, your selfish tendencies would manifest in Donhyuck one way or another.

What no one tells you about death, is that if you don’t learn to let go, you’ll never let go. You’ll never achieve a sense of control over yourself again. And unfortunately, that’s Donghyuck’s new path…

“I’m sorry Donghyuck.” Mr Zhong suddenly says. Tonight, he decided that he’d come up to the surface… because he didn’t want to be with you in his room. So instead being here in Donghyuck’s room, as Donghyuck sits idly on his bed is better. “I’m sorry.” Mr Zhong confesses again. “I blamed you all these years when really it was me that needed to let go. I hardened my heart because I was angry. My anger cost me my freedom. I’m so sorry for blaming you. It wasn’t your fault. You didn’t kill me. You were just as scared. You were a little boy, what was I expecting from you… I’m sorry.” Mr Zhong is surprised when he blinks and a tear drops from his eye.

He’s even more shocked when he feels a gnawing stare. Turning to the side, he sees Donghyuck’s enlarged beaded eyes on him…

Maybe you’re close by and Donghyuck’s just zoning out again. No. Mr Zhong turns back and when seeing no one he looks back to Donghyuck… Is he looking at him?

“Ch- Chenle?” Donghyuck chokes a little in surprise. “Is that really you?”

Mr Zhong feels his whole heart cave in when hearing his name. He momentarily freezes as he pays attention to Donghyuck. Donghyuck without haste instantly wraps his arms around Chenle crying out. Mr Zhong is surprised when Donghyuck doesn’t fall over. He’s even more surprised when… feeling comes back over his being. He can… feel again? “Donghyuck?”

“Chenle.” The reuniting is somber as both guys cry into each other’s arms. Donghyuck because inside of him… he recognizes Chenle… the friend he once had who disappeared.

“I’m not as selfish as you think I am.”

Mr Zhong doesn’t let go of Donghyuck but he does hear your voice. He opens his eyes and sees you behind Donghyuck.

“I thought long and hard about what you said.” You watch Donghyuck shiver and shed and break down whilist hugging Chenle… “You’ve got such a nice name.”

“But… how did you do it?” Mr Zhong asks. “How did you do this?”

“How did I do what?” Donghyuck asks. Making you slightly chuckle. Donghyuck shakes his head. “All this time… how did I forget about you? Were you really lonely? You never went to heaven to see your parents? I’m sorry man. I’m sorry for leaving you alone.”

Mr Zhong can’t comprehend the feelings he’s feeling. It’s just so sudden. All this time he couldn’t feel anything, for more than years he couldn’t feel anything, but now he can feel. Breaking away from Donghyuck he notices that instead of wearing black clothes… he’s also wearing white… and also he’s back to his… younger self. Which only strikes Donghyuck again.

“You said I had to let him go, and a part of me didn’t want to do that. But then… with the help of Haechan, we digged deep and looked into his memories… and then I saw you. A small boy who died all too soon and quick.” You confess. “You’re right we only have one life. And I can’t be selfish to steal someone else’s life. The more I thought about it, the more I thought about Donghyuck… I cried. He has carried so much loss, so much pain in him. Looking into his memories, I saw him hiding away and not being himself because he felt like an outcast. He doubted himself so much that he found it better to find pleasure in letting someone carry his pain… in not being himself. That hurt me, because I had many opportunities to be myself… But he shielded himself. I would just want him to be free and not be controlled by me. To be himself. To be free of pain and carrying so many things inside of him. So now I’m ready,”

Donghyuck’s ears hear that and he turns around, surprised to also see you. “You’re ready to do what?”

“To let you go,” You say sadly as you smile gently to him. “How about you Chenle?”

“I’m ready too. I’m ready to forgive you, and letting you go.” He gulps feeling so many emotions all relating to joy and a bitter sweet sadness.

“You’re both going to leave me?” Donghyuck turns to you both… especially when a bright light presents itself right in the middle of his room. “No. Please don’t go.” He cries… and you can hear Haechan… just as much as Sun. “How do I live? How do I breathe? I’ll suffocate without you,”

“No you won’t. You’ll find peace, joy and the same way your drowned in love into me, you’ll be able to do that again with yourself and with someone else.” You hold onto his cheek. “I need you to live Hyuck. I need you to let me go and live. Be happy with yourself. Confess and be free. Me dying isn’t the end of the world, it’s the start of a new future. For both of us.”

“But what if I don’t want to be free? I just want you,” He holds onto both your hands, surprised at how warm they are feeling.

Come home… You hear… and this time, Mr Zhong can hear it too. It’s the angel calling you guys over to the other side.

“I want you too, but we both can’t have what we want.” You gulp. “Instead we can cherish what we had and move on. I’ll always be with you, Hyuck,” you try to say while maintaining your own tears.

“Please,” He cries. “Don’t leave me.”

“Come on buddy,” This time Mr Zhong speaks with a warm smile. You’re so happy to see him smile. For the longest of time, he has only had a terrible frown on his face, so to see a smile you feel comforted that you’re not going alone. “You know we won’t leave if you ask us too, but I’m asking you to let us leave… I don’t want to make you heavy anymore. I want you to be light.”

Donghyuck thinks… he looks between you both and he can hear his heart breaking. But he knows it’s important. In his head… the thoughts coming, are the thoughts of how they died. He remembers seeing so much blood… he recalls seeing the life fade away from their eyes. At least they won’t suffer anymore… a tear rolls down his face, just as you hug him on the side and Chenle hugs him on the other side. He gulps. “Okay. Okay. I’m ready to… to… let you go…”

He doesn’t open his eyes but he feels so much warmth all around him. Slowly all the feelling around him becomes cold and he sighs out when opening his eyes in his dark room… Inside of him, Haechan and Sun run to the Upper Core trying to see if Mr Zhong would be there… and of course he’s not there. As they both cry, creating a crying feast of everyone crying, Donghyuck can’t stop balling his eyes out at losing both you and Chenle. Again

Meanwhile, donw by the ‘neck of birth’ a being is formed. In the exact same replica of Donghyuck… the next one to take over the core in Mr Zhong's old place. He wakes up with a name and aim.

Name: Hyuck. Assigned to: Core

“Hyuck. Please live.” He hears an echo serenade of your voice. “You must live and let go.”

That night, eventually when Donghyuck is able to sleep he dreams of doves and a serene peace washing over him.

Fin.

[toxicanonymity]

when will the next raider be out?? my desperation is almost concerning at this point😪😪

J. Miller

2k / DARK raider!Joel x f!reader / raider master

mood board by @serenaxpedro

Picks up from Raider: Failed Escape.

Credits/shoutouts: @chernayawidow & commenters, rope kink anon, anal anons, prob more. switchblade gif

WARNINGS: I8+ mdni. DEAD DOVE painful skin carving, manhandling, rope restraints, dubcon via captivity, unsafe P in V, overstimulation & noncon anal creampie, fingering, angst, crying, dacryphilia, pet names.

This one is skippable (as are most) if you're not into the warnings. Just go ahead to Raider: Home (fluffier).

Joel drags you to a back room in the stash house.  His cum is trickling down your thigh from the van ride as he pulls you by the elbow in your forlorn dress and the men look away obediently.  The room has two cots.  He throws you down on the one with the radiator behind it.  Then he gets on the mattress and puts his weight on the radiator, trying to move it, making sure it's solid, not too rusted.  When he's satisfied, he puts his hands on the filthy mattress, hovering over you.  Your eyes try to meet his, but it's like he's looking past you.  His brow furrows and he sighs regretfully.  

"Ya had to run,” he laments ominously. “Why'd ya do it, sweet pea?"

"It's not you.  The others, they scare me. They look at me when you turn around, and I heard-" you think better of telling him what you heard in the van, for now. 

His face hardens. "You heard what?"

"Nothing"

He firmly grabs your jaw.  "You better tell me right now."

"They said you couldn't watch me every second." 

He lets you go and his nostrils flare as he fumes. "WHO said it?"

"Jackson. I think." 

He nods, unsurprised, then takes a deep breath and cracks his neck without using his hands. "We'll deal with Jackson, I promise. Got somethin' else to take care of first." 

-

He takes some rope out of the duffle bag.   "don't need this yet if you can be a good girl for me." 

He straddles you, sitting on your crotch but not with all his weight. "only take a minute." He backs down toward your feet and his warm package meets your thighs as he leans forward.  He squeezes your legs together with his. Then he pulls out his switchblade and pops it open. 

“What are you doing??”

“We’re gonna make sure everybody knows you're mine.”   He caresses your collar bone with a calloused thumb. "So they won't hurt you." He looks at you with soft eyes.  "Wanna pick a side?”

“No.” You’re too tired to think about it. 

“You sure?”

“I don’t care.”

“Then we'll do both."

You whimper. 

"C'mere, sweet pea.  Close your eyes," he says soothingly.  He bends down and holds your skin taut with his left hand while the tip of the blade begins to puncture it, sending a cold chill through you. He glances down to your nipples which have puckered to form little tents under the thin dress.  

The blade digs into the skin on your right collar bone, drags, then curves.  The cold heat of it burns and you squirm as he ends his first stroke.   "Owwwww," you whine. 

"Shhhhh. It's okay, baby. Sit still.”

He does the next stroke faster, carving one quick line to finish the J.  Then he carves a tiny “x.”  You manage to sit still even though it hurts worse than the first strokes: J.

"Doin' great, sweet pea. Be over in no time." 

He moves to your left collar bone and carves a few straight strokes, making the beginning of an  "M." 

When the point of the blade comes down in a place he already carved, pain shoots through your chest, making you flinch.  Joel's face goes dark then he firmly grabs you and gives you a frustrated shake against the bed. 

"Stop movin', damnit. It's for your own good."

He digs his elbow and forearm into your ribcage and pins you with his body weight. It hurts, but what’s worse is that he's mad.  You deserve it, though. You tried to run today and that might have hurt him.

He resumes carving.  You flinch again with the first "L" and his massive hand wraps around your throat. 

"What'd I just say?"

He loosens his grip enough to let you answer. 

"Stop moving. But I couldn't."

"You're makin' me do this, sweet pea. I don't wanna." He lets go of your throat and picks up the rope.  

He ties you down on the bed, tighter and more elaborate than necessary with the rope firmly digging into your breasts and arms.  He uses a separate rope for your ankles. Then he settles back in on top of you.  You admire his biceps and perfect facial hair. Such a handsome man.  Such a bad man.  But worse of all, so disappointed in you.  You start sniffling, then the tears start falling. 

"Shhhh. I know, baby. I know.  We're halfway done." 

He carves again and you feel a trickle of blood run toward your neck.  You sob. 

He pauses to look at your face and briefly tugs at the crotch of his tight jeans where a bulge is growing.  He adjusts his hips and moves upward so he has to curl his spine to reach where he's carving, but can rest his hardening cock against your cunt.  Arousal washes over you, numbing some of the pain. 

He carves the second "L" and your back arches with the pain.  

"Keep your chest still," he grumbles. "'less you wanna get real hurt."  

The "E" has so many lines, so many connecting points, you can't.  When  the middle line connects with the vertical line, the pressure of his arm and the rope keeps your chest down but your hips lift into his, making his hardness swell against you.  He pushes back with it and takes a loud breath in, then a vocal exhale. 

He doesn't take his eyes off your chest as he says, "Careful, sweet pea. You'll get what you ask for and a whole lot more."   He reaches back and unties the rope from your ankles.  Then he spreads your legs and lays his hard bulge between them, making your pussy purr.  You weren't trying to fuck him, consciously at least, but the insinuation makes you wet. 

He gently thrusts against you as he carves the “R" and you manage to stay still.  But then he goes back and improves some of his previous lines and the pain is unbearable.  You flinch and squirm. 

"God damnit, you were doin' so good,"  he mutters. He closes the switchblade, then pockets it.  Then he shoves his hand between your naked legs, engulfing your wet cunt. 

"Turn you on, bein' bad? When I'm tryin' to keep ya safe?" He plunges two thick fingers into you.  

"No," you shake your head. "It just hurt, that's all."  Your nose gets snotty with your tears. 

He pulls out his fingers and pulls them apart, a clear string hanging between them. 

"I wanna be good, I'll be good, I swear."

"You're goddamn right you will." He puts his slippery fingers in your mouth and you suck them clean. 

He strokes the skin next to the J on your chest and drags his finger a few inches.  “room for three more letters if ya need'em." 

He starts unbuttoning his tight, stretchy jeans and your breath hitches. 

"Ya know, there was a girl at that house today. Sucked some damn good cock."

It's not rational, but your heart aches thinking about him doing anything with or even to anyone else. 

"I can do it," you offer. "

"Coulda left ya with FEDRA, taken her home. Woulda been easier."

You whimper. "I’m really sorry." 

"There's somethin' about ya, sweet pea." He looks concerned by what he's saying.  "Not everyday I make someone mine." He sighs.  "But god damnit, you better behave."

You swallow and aren’t sure why you say, "Yes sir." 

He raises his eyebrows.  "Goddamn right.  Know why?"  

"You protect me"

"That's right. . . and I like takin' care of my good girl. But only my good girl, and if that ain't you, I got no use for ya." 

You can't make one wrong move at this point.  

-

He takes his imposing erection in his hand and readies himself under your dress.  He wastes no time shoving it into you with such force that he bottoms out in one go. "There ya go, baby."  He plunges in hard and deep, nudging that special spot inside.  You moan, his eyes darken, and he repeats the motion nice and deep.   

With the rope holding you still, he rails you harder than ever.  His thrusts are rough, powerful bursts, not smooth or continuous. A drop of sweat falls into the carving on your chest.  It stings and you whine.  The rope rubs and burns your skin. But soon, he's fucking you so hard it drowns out every other feeling.  His power and pace are relentless.  It's the opposite of what you felt in the van. You remind yourself what he said - you come when he says. Your face contorts as you try to hold off. 

"It's okay baby, you can come." 

His thick cock now impales you continuously, and soon you're unraveling, clenching around his cock, the rope digging harder into your skin as your spine arches.  As soon as you contract around him, he slides his hands up your stomach to your tits, groping them roughly as he keeps pounding you and your climax continues.  

Then as you’re almost finished coming, he slows down and brings a hand to your clit.  He starts going to town with his fingers while his cock is still inside you, fucking you in small pulses. The overstimulation has you squirming. 

"Too much," you whine. Your eyes well up in tears. This is what he wants.  

He picks up the intensity of his fingers. It's killing you. Your poor clit is aching to rest. 

"You come when I say. And you're gonna come again." 

"I can't, it's too much, it hurts."

He keeps a thumb at your clit but intensifies the thrusts of his huge cock until he's full-on railing you again. He puts your ankles over his shoulders, pounding you even deeper, the head of his cock pushing your g-spot. 

You whimper, clawing at the mattress beneath you as you reach the edge of bliss again and implode with pleasure on his cock. Your body jerks and a tear rolls down your cheek. 

"Good girl."

“I’m gonna be sore,” you sniffle. His face hardens.  “But I wanna be good."

He pulls out and just as you're feeling some relief, you feel his wet tip at your asshole. 

“Wait-”  you’re not prepared for this.  Joel pauses, to your surprise. 

“I’ve never really done it,” you tell him, then quickly add, "but it's okay." Wouldn't matter to him if it wasn't okay, you just want points for behaving. 

“Aw, sweet pea. . . try to relax for me.” 

You take a deep breath and before you can exhale he slowly pushes his slippery cock into your ass. Your eyes go wide and sting.

It's hard to tell if it hurts so bad you're numb, or if it's just such a shock. He holds your legs up with his hands around the front of your thighs as he fills your body with his massive cock, claiming another hole for himself.  He's prodding something deep inside you, something you didn't know about. It's like when he fucks your cunt nice and deep, but you feel fuller. 

Somehow, another climax is building, and it overwhelms you.  It's almost like you like the pain. He pushes into your ass again and again until finally his chest is swelling more with each breath and his grunts become erratic.  

He slams into your ass once more, then pulses his warm load into your guts.  As he finishes emptying his balls, you start to come.  He pulls out and brings his mouth between your legs, making it far too much for you as you whimper, "Joel, please!" But the best he'll do is slow down. He won't stop until he's made you come one more time. Then, he finally puts his dick away. Your body is limp and spent. 

He sits on the bed with you and holds the FEDRA handcuffs in his lap, looking at the radiator contemplatively.  He whispers, "Jackson said that, huh?" The paradoxical softness of his voice makes you swoon.  You're silent with regret for bringing it up. 

He cuffs you to the radiator.  "For your own good. Back in a minute." Joel whistles to summon your designated guard and reminds the guard what'll happen to him if anything happens to you. 

It starts to sting while he's gone. Within a few minutes, Joel returns disappointed.  "I'm sure he’ll be back in a few days," he says as he unties you. He squeezes his hand into his tight pants pocket to retrieve the key to the cuffs. "C'mon. Let's get away from these animals."

He packs up, grabs the duffle bag, and takes you up the hill to his trailer. On the walk, he says, "you gotta talk to me, sweet pea. Someone botherin' ya, tell me. Runnin's not the way."  

--

Next: Raider: Home

Thanks as always for your support and engagement. 

-

All Joel: @ethanhoewke @silkiers @eiviea @evyiione @xdaddysprincessxx @queerly-anxious @chernayawidow @ambassadortotrilliusprime @not-a-unique-snowflake-blog @jasminespringtime @romanarose  @fandomsfallnomore @djarinxore @lokanda @blackvelveteen1339   @manazo @wolvesandvampires  @taeslarityy @str84pedro @kyloispunk @filthfairy @fieryglutenfreechickennoodles @harriedandharassed @moonlightdivine @worhols @fan-fiction-floozy @cutesyscreenname @weddingfairy @feministfanboi

Raider: @randomhoe @princessloveweird @mugshotqueen @anas-dreamer @eggnox @dindjarins-brown-eyed-girl @tulipsatmidnight @imaginary98 @zliteraturehoe @neobanguniverse

[c0smoshit]

Seeing you cry

⋆ ࣪. ℂ𝕙𝕒𝕣𝕒𝕔𝕥𝕖𝕣𝕤 ≫ Solid Snake, Big Boss and Venom Snake

⋆ ࣪. 𝕎𝕒𝕣𝕟𝕚𝕟𝕘𝕤 ≫ smut!!, dacryphilia, mocking the reader >:((

⋆ ࣪. 𝔸/ℕ ≫ STOP THE METAL GEAR BRAINROT, I NEED MORE FICS

Solid Snake (David)

★ My man is worried

★ All the people he had to kill yet seeing you in any pain would be the death of him

★ However, if he sees that you are begging for more...

★ It is such a turn on for him

Gripping your hips tightly, back pressed against the mattress as your back arched in a way that made his head spin over and over again.

Stranded moans suddenly being quieted down, he looked over the hickey he was placing just on top of your areola into your face.

He was dead silent, his hips on automatic mode hitting over and over again the spongy spot inside you. He couldn't get any words out, your tear stained cheeks, the redness of the saltiness already begining to tint them a passionate red.

"Ah- mgh... nhg"

Red he also loved seeing on other cheeks too

He was concerned, of course, was he being too rough? Maybe he needed to stop, however, before he choose that option he watched your eyes roll back, a choked moan leaving you as another fat roll cascaded from you eye.

"Fu-Fu...uck"

Tightening on him like it was the first time you had ever taken him, he even struggled to move, restraining his bloodflow as he was begining to drift into nirvana with you. The new wash of arousal from you was the only thing that could have kept him going, the bed hitting wildly the wall as he raced to his orgasm.

"I love... mgh- you, so beautiful"

Big Boss "Naked Snake" (John)

★ Not much of a talker while he's reaching his orgasm, but if you pull that out

★ He's gone and he is not going to shut up

★ Something about seeing you so pure, real with him, to feel such powerfull emotions during intimacy

★ It just starts to mean something deeper than just carnal desired for him

"Doing alright there?"

His gruff voice asked even when he was in the verge of going mad, the creak of the bed from his wild movements as he pushed you further and further into the pillows.

Face down, your moans were muffled as only your mouth let you breath, cheek pressed against a pillow your hair created a mattress on top of your face. You had absolutely ruined the fabric; drool, tears and sweat tinted it in such an erotic colour.

When you didn't respond, he slowed down a bit, grabbing your chest with one hand and pulling you up so your back was pressed against him while the other hand peeled sticky strands from your face, just to see the most beautiful view ever.

"D-don't stop"

He had thought you were in pain, but of course you were absolutely enjoying this the same way he did by watching you fall apart on him, hiccuping and sniffling as you took him.

"ngh- Snake!"

"You're such a dirty thing aren't you?"

He whispered into your ear, pushing his hips into you deeply, slowly as you felt all of him. He still held your chest, his hand dangerously close to your pulse as he perfectly knew here it was thanks to CQC techniques. Noticing how fast it was beating, his breathing raged and you also could feel the adrenaline flowing inside his veins through your back.

"Got me all worried, your- fuck... little face"

He enhanced his last words with a deep thrust as he felt you tighten around him, almost going limp on his arms as he held you securedly.

"But you... like this huh? Cryin- crying all over my cock"

Venom Snake "Big Boss"

★ He's the most dipshit in all of the three, such horny words coming out of his mouth the moment he sees you in that state

★ "All this just from me huh?" YES

★ As big boss, seeing you so vurnerable with him clicks on a switch inside his brain

★ He needs to ruin you every session after seeing you completely frustrated to the verge of tears by him

★ Has seen you crying before, however, during sex it's even more arousing to him

"What's the matter sweetie?"

The sound of his pat against your right cheek pulled you out of your extasis for a little while, teary eyes threatening to fall apart looking at his blurry face.

"Can't take it?"

His mocking tone made you huff a breath out, not letting down your words, you were supposed to ride him until he passed out, not the other way around. However, as soon as your movements halted for a bit, he smiled wickedly. Trembling thighs around him, sweaty skin and a frustated face was such a cute view for him.

A low "yeah" was enough praise for you to keep going, moving up and down, down and up. Grasping his knees with both hands you felt him pressing a hand sneak down your stomach, ending on the most brutal nervous point of your body.

Your elbow buckled at the sensation, tears now starting to fall down more wildly as he repositioned you, letting you bounce as he kept you close to his chest. His devilish thumb never stopping it's ministrations.

"Such a good girl"

Gruffy vocals sending you over the edge right away, finally giving out as you cried from the stimulation on his chest, a mantra of many of his names coming out of your mouth.

Yet he wasn't done, grasping your hips he forced you up and down once again. The coldness of his prostetic arm making the hair on your back stand out.

"Sna-..ke, st- stop"

"You are-.. letting me finish-"

He grunted out as his thrust became more erratic, deeper. His own eyes were closed, opening a few times to admire your drool on his chest, your scrunched eyes as he abused your sensitive hole.

"You wanted me-... hmph, to pass out huh?"

He repeated your words, grabbing your face to make you look at him, seeing your puffy cheeks as he squeezed them until your mouth formed an oval.

"Then you're in for a ride, cowgirl"

[joels6string]

Never Enough

Joel Miller x f!reader

Summary: After a long day out on a patrol, Joel returns home to a soft place to land.

Rating: E

Word Count: 2.2k

Content: established relationship, soft, happy fluff, nothing but love and care for the gruffest man, minor wound care, smut, minor nipple play, unprotected p-in-v, oral f-receiving, slight Joel with a praise kink, cockwarming

Here he felt the perfect dichotomy of vulnerable and indestructible, there was nothing that could taint him here, no pain, only the shattering of walls and a warm embrace. 

The crickets’ summer song had droned on too long, a melody that was usually so welcome haunting as you sat alone at a dining table that was too large, a plate of uneaten food still set in front of you, a meal made to share. He was late. Too late.

After 2 hours of waiting, panic had tried to convince you to search out Maria and beg her to send out a search crew. You’d go out yourself if you had to. As you entered the third long stretch, busying yourself around the house had proved a dismal distraction and by the fourth despondency had taken over. He was gone. He had to be.

It was closer to midnight than his usual hour of return now, tears dripping into ice-cold tea, your fingers trembling around the ceramic of his favorite mug. Had you taken a sip you’d have wrinkled your nose at the slightest hint of coffee evident over the chamomile, he never scrubbed the dishes well enough. 

The ticking of the clock made the slow progress of time an audible horror, the thud of each flick of the second hand like a metronome to the terrifying scenarios playing out in your mind. Bitten. Lost. Dead. Which one was it? Would one be easier to grieve than another? It was always a risk, but that was a fact easier to face entwined in strong arms in the comfort of your bed.

Heavy boot steps had you leaping to your feet, your hand wrenching the door open questioning who would be on the other side. Was it Tommy, here to deliver the bad news? Was it him? Was it someone else tasked with speaking to you and Maria alike?

“Jesus Christ,” you cried out as you crossed the threshold, his pack falling from his hands onto the wooden deck with a thud.

His forehead was still soaked with sweat when it buried into the skin of your neck, your arms pulling him into you as he wrapped you up tightly with his own. The sight of dried blood caked on one side of his face hadn’t been missed, nor was the way he collapsed as soon as the refuge of your embrace had swallowed him, his sigh of relief hot on your throat as his fingertips dug into the plushness around your waist. Tears had begun to fall when your fingers tangled in graying strands, his body still somehow too far away to comfort you.

“M’alright,” he mumbled, making no effort to pull away just yet, “M’alright, darlin’.”

With every attempt to speak your tongue was strangled by relief and fear alike, the sounds battering against your throat giving you away, and despite the fact you were supposed to be comforting him, the tables had turned.

“Don't cry,” he soothed, tugging you impossibly closer, “It’s all over.”

“Go sit,” you finally instructed, releasing him too quickly for both of your liking, “Let me clean you up.”

It had taken time for Joel to relinquish some of his stoicism to you. Years ago he’d have batted your hands away when you fussed or fret, done the work himself while you watched on with guilt and concern. But as time had worn on, he’d slowly started giving in. It started with accepting meals prepped for him when he got too busy carving in the studio, followed by bandaging hard-to-reach areas, and now, he was more than willing to accept every one of your affections.

Your gentle fingers felt better than his own ever could on sensitive flesh, the throbbing side of his face relaxing as your featherlight touch softly turned him at the jaw. You were close enough that he could feel your heat radiating off of you, the faintest hint of floral and earth mingling in his nostrils. You’d been in the garden all day, your beloved blooms and greenery keeping you safe in his absence. Without a word, you pulled his blood and dirt-stained shirt over his head, your hands and eyes assessing the rest of him for damage and thankfully finding none.

“It’ll sting,” you warned as you did every time, his response nothing more than a single nod.

A scotch-soaked rag brushed over his lips first, your own coming to taste the amber liquid lingering with the welcome home kiss he’d been fighting to return for. It was too short, too fleeting, and he was desperate. A palm cupping behind your head redirected you, the way you crashed back into him breaking open floodgates both of you had been doing poorly to maintain. He grunted in approval when your knees trapped him on the couch, your body sliding into his lap as you anchored yourself to him by the hair once again, his tongue sliding along the seam of your mouth begging for more of what he thought he’d never have again. 

Lack of food was starvation he could endure, but losing the slight sting of the crescent moon stamps you were pressing into his chest was a famine he would never survive. The way you whimpered as he pulled the will to live right from your swelling lips could cure his melancholy, the tension melting from his weary form as you soothed every ache and pain with nothing more than a brush of your lips and fingers. No matter how many years he was able to swindle away from the grips of death that had stalked him for decades he would never get enough of you.

“Let me finish,” you giggled, breathless and flustered, the smile ticking at your lips easing his guilt for the turmoil he’d put you in.

A peck to the scar marring the bridge of his nose came before the brush of the rag to his temple, a hiss of pain he’d only grant you the gift of seeing coming when you pressed it to the cut decorating his hairline. Meticulously you worked as he kept you firmly in his lap, kneading into the velvet beneath his calloused fingers worshipfully, your body following as he relaxed back into the cushions when the exhaustion became too much to battle against.

“You don’t need stitches,” you informed, the way you brushed his hair ever-so-gently sending a shiver up his spine, “Just some food and a shower.”

“Yes ma’am,” he slurred, the loss of your heat a worse discomfort than the burn of the alcohol still prickling at his wounds.

Despite his protest, you warmed a plate and rushed off to begin heating water, leaving him to eat alone where the sight of your still-full plate wasn’t lost on him. He picked at enough to appease you before trudging up the stairs and stepping into the stream of warm water you’d prepped, rushing through the motions to join you in the bed he knew you’d already settled into. 

However, he found you ready and waiting with a clean rag and a towel, the taste of copper dripping into his mouth as you sat him down and pressed against his now throbbing head again. You’d changed into one of his t-shirts and nothing more, a sight that riled him up no matter the state he found himself in. Your thighs were free to explore, he could see your lips lifting into a smirk as he dipped his finger beneath the leg of your panties.

“Aren’t you exhausted?” you asked with a mischievous lilt, inspecting the current state of his head.

“Nothin’ I can’t fight off,” he answered as he roughly grasped each cheek of your ass in his palms, your body responding immediately with a pathetic mewl.

Strong arms lifted you around his waist, his towel falling to the floor without regard as he carried you to the bed, his pillow soft behind your head as he laid you down gently. Your panties were discarded, the loose tee draped over your frame pushed up to reveal your nipples already pebbling in arousal and need. That was where he began teasingly, challenging your already threadbare resolve as he pressed his lips everywhere but the place you needed him. Your spine arched searching for his heat, but every time he denied you, grazing his nose along your skin in a taunt until you were writhing in what felt like agony. 

When his mouth finally locked over the hardened bud and you trapped his head in place, your core began pulsing with need as his tongue swirled, his fingers tugging and pulling on the other side until you could bear it no longer. Spreading your thighs wide, you pushed his hand down and pressed his thumb to your buzzing bundle of nerves, crying out loud enough for the neighbors to hear you through the open window as he wrestled his head to your opposite breast. He worked you over in sync, his circles and presses to each sensitive spot simultaneous until you tensed and threw your head back, a wave of white-hot pleasure washing through you. 

Choking and sputtering on his name you settled him between your legs, his whispered promises of “I got you” and “I’m here” brushing against your lips and erupting like butterflies in your stomach as he fisted himself. He was here, he was home, he was safe. 

Joel liked to be close, foreheads and chests pressed together, breath shared, and tonight was no exception. Your soaked channel took him easily, but he still went slow, enjoying every second of your cunt pulling him in, the softness of your inner walls, the quivering of your thighs as he filled you. Here he felt the perfect dichotomy of vulnerable and indestructible, there was nothing that could taint him here, no pain, only the shattering of walls and a warm embrace. He kissed you when his hips notched with yours, pausing to take in the sensations he’d never tire of. Your heat, the way your thighs parted in trust and devotion and gripped him as if you needed him as much as he did you, the heaving of your chest and the fluttering of your eyes as you stretched around his girth, you would always be his undoing. He’d never fight it, either.

With the first gentle rock of his body into yours, you tangled your fingers into his hair, it was no secret to either of you how much he loved it. You knew he wouldn’t last long, his face was already contorting as he pushed back the heat coursing to his middle, the pressure already bearing down and begging to be relieved. Your lips pressed to his eyes, his brow, his cheeks, his lips, dipping lower to lavish the scars on his throat and over his pulse; if you only you knew his heart beat only for you. 

He was whimpering now, weakened further than usual by his flirtations with death and the sheer respite of sharing your body, his pace picking up as he fucked you like it was the last time. In his mind, maybe it was. 

“You’re okay,” you reminded him as his face twisted, “It’s okay.”

The loss of him had you gasping on air that caught in your throat as his mouth cinched over your clit. Without shame you lifted your knees to your chest, giving him access to dive into your dripping hole, your juices sweet on his tongue and soaking his beard as he devoured you. It was sloppy and unhindered, he wanted every drop you gave him, each moan into the dark and tug on his locks fueling him as he suckled and lapped until your vision went black and the elastic holding you together finally snapped. 

Boneless and spent, you felt him pecking his drenched lips along your inner thighs, the sensation guiding you back to him and somehow craving more. With fingers beneath his chin, you guided him up, his body sliding behind you as his cock slipped into your cunt again. He tasted like you, his beard still damp as your mouths moved tiredly in tandem, your sweat-soaked skin pressed together as he rut into you harder and faster than before. 

“Come on, baby,” you urged, reaching behind you to cradle his head, “Come me for me.”

“Not yet,” he grunted, needing this longer, he wasn’t ready to lose it, he needed more.

“Always so good for me, love. So good.”

That did it. The praise, it always sent him metaphorically to his knees. He may have thought it was a deep, dark secret only he knew, but you were well aware. His pace stuttered as he spilled hot and thick deep in your soft heat. He was panting now, his body limp as he fell to the mattress in a heap, your own following along with him. With a sigh, he began to pull himself free until you stopped him, pulling his arm around your middle and pushing your hips back to sheath him once again.

“Just go to sleep,” you said softly, his shocked whine as he thrust his sensitive shaft into you like a reflex, his spendings easing his way, “Just like this.”

“Okay,” he sputtered, burying his nose in the hollow behind your ear.

Moments after breathless I love yous, sleep overtook you both, the crickets outside no longer a haunting hymn, but a lullaby.

Joel Miller Masterlist

[yanderenightmare]

im with anon, i'll take 500 words or less! anything you have of nasty shigaraki to spare, i'll gladly take with a smile:) also, kinda unrelated, but maybe not ;) iv'e never seen you do soulmate aus?

BNHA ! IMAGINE

Shigaraki Tomura x darling

I love soulmate aus! But only when I give them my own awful unromantic spin. 

TW: soulmate au, yandere, implied noncon/dubcon

I like to think the words written on your arm are “Why aren’t you dead?” and the fear you felt in your heart when you first heard them being spoken – lying naked in the decay of a city Tomura had just leveled with the single touch of his fingertips. Followed shortly by the sound of your voice cracking into a scream and a cry when you cough up those few pitiful words written on his arm – “No, please, no!”

I like to think Tomura hates you for making him go through his entire life, knowing those were the first words his soulmate would ever say to him – and how he’s going to torture you for it by forcing you into doing nightmarish versions of all those romantic clichés soulmates usually do.

You try to run even knowing how silly it was, crawling barefoot over sharp crumbling debris with your heart in your throat. He grabs you with ease and takes you home – each wrist and ankle tied tight to the other, a piece of ripped cloth gagging you, and a sack pulled over your head – your naked skin dusty with ashes of people and buildings laid to waste while he holds you in a bridal carry.

You were thrown on the bed with a startled yelp, bouncing on the springy mattress for a moment before stilling and sinking – swearing that the soft feel of it was moist and clammy to the touch, clinging to your skin while slowly swallowing you -and stuffy as though a million spores had just burst upon your impact, spewing out a thick fermented stench that stuck in your throat like a coat of slime.

You heard a door being locked and a key being hidden before feeling his presence crawl over you again where you lay, tied up and shaking. 

Your hood disintegrated a moment later, leaving you to stare up into those beady red eyes.

“Psh-” He scoffed, having cast a glance over your face, from the teary streaks running through the ashy dust on your cheeks to the shifty whimpers leaving your lips. “Who would’ve guessed my soulmate would be a pretty thing like you?” 

You swore it sounded less like a compliment and more like a jeer while his dry lips further cracked when stretched over the horrid smile that soon broke across his face – sharp like jagged shards of glass you feared would cut you. You shriveled in sight of it, feeling all types of gross and all types of dread twisting your gut as his hand, pale and dry like the rest of him yet unexpectedly warm, started to touch.

Your eyes swiveled with dread, spinning while eerily watching him and how his own two followed the path of his hand. Beginning at your neck in slow fascinated strokes – all five fingers with crass fissures scratching down your jugular and collarbones, making your breath hitch. Drawing down your body with a deepening sense of ownership.

And all you were left to do was chew the cloth spreading your teeth and lips, wettening it with pitiful whimpers and cries. Hands wringing pointlessly, charred and aching from the strict bonds keeping them locked snug beneath you.

A sudden giggle sprung from him then. A dry type of snicker that came from somewhere raspy deep in his lungs. Almost sounding painful if it weren’t for the glistering gleam of something terribly perverted pooling in his eyes – and the tongue that suddenly swept up your face.

“Fate can be such a sweet bitch, can’t it?”

[sassenach77yle]

7x09 “Unfinished Business”

JENNY & YOUNG IAN

AS THE TIME GREW SHORTER, Ian found it impossible to sleep. The need to go, to find Rachel, burned in him so that he felt hot coals in the pit of his stomach all of the time. Auntie Claire called it heartburn, and it was. She said it was from bolting his food, though, and it wasn’t that—he could barely eat.He spent his days with his father, as much as he could. Sitting in the corner of the speak-a-word room, watching his father and his elder brother go about the business of Lallybroch, he couldn’t understand how it would be possible to stand up and walk away, to leave them behind. To leave his father forever behind.During the days, there were things to be done, folk to be visited, to talk to, and the land to be walked over, the stark beauty of it soothing when his feelings grew too heated to bear. At night, though, the house lay quiet, the creaking silence punctuated by his father’s distant cough and his two young nephews’ heavy breathing in the room beside him. He began to feel the house itself breathe around him, drawing one ragged, heavy-chested gasp after another, and to feel the weight of it on his own chest, so he sat up in bed, gulping air only to be sure he could. And finally he would slide out of bed, steal downstairs with his boots in his hands, and let himself out of the kitchen door to walk the night under clouds or stars, the clean wind fanning the coals of his heart to open flame, until he should find his tears and peace in which to shed them.One night he found the door unbolted already. He went out cautiously, looking round, but saw no one. Likely Young Jamie gone to the barn; one of the two cows was due to calf any day. He should go and help, maybe … but the burning under his ribs was painful, he needed to walk a bit first. Jamie would have fetched him in any case, had he thought he needed help.He turned away from the house and its outbuildings and headed up the hill, past the sheep pen, where the sheep lay in somnolent mounds, pale under the moon, now and then emitting a soft, sudden bah!, as though startled by some sheep dream.Such a dream took shape before him suddenly, a dark form moving against the fence, and he uttered a brief cry that made the nearer sheep start and rustle in a chorus of low-pitched bahs.“Hush, a bhailach,” his mother said softly. “Get this lot started, and ye’ll wake the dead.”He could make her out now, a small, slender form, with her unbound hair a soft mass against the paleness of her shift.

Speak o’ the dead,” he said rather crossly, forcing his heart down out of his throat. “I thought ye were a ghost. What are ye doing out here, Mam?”“Counting sheep,” she said, a thread of humor in her voice. “That’s what ye’re meant to do when ye canna sleep, aye?”“Aye.” He came and stood beside her, leaning on the fence. “Does it work?”“Sometimes.”They stood still for a bit, watching the sheep stir and settle. They smelled sweetly filthy, of chewed grass and sheep shit and greasy wool, and Ian found that it was oddly comforting just to be with them.“Does it work to count them, when ye ken already how many there are?” he asked, after a short silence. His mother shook her head.“No, I say their names over. It’s like saying the rosary, only ye dinna feel the need to be asking. It wears ye down, asking.”Especially when ye ken the answer’s going to be no, Ian thought, and moved by sudden impulse, put his arm around her shoulders. She made a small sound of amused surprise, but then relaxed, laying her head against him. He could feel the small bones of her, light as a bird’s, and thought his heart might break.They stood for a while that way, and then she freed herself, gently, moving away a little and turning to him.“Sleepy yet?”“No.”“Aye, well. Come on, then.” Not waiting for an answer, she turned and made her way through the dark, away from the house.There was a moon, half full, and he’d been out more than long enough for his eyes to adjust; it was simple to follow, even through the jumbled grass and stones and heather that grew on the hill behind the house.Where was she taking him? Or rather, why? For they were heading uphill, toward the old broch—and the burying ground that lay nearby. He felt a chill round his heart—did she mean to show him the site of his father’s grave?But she stopped abruptly and stooped, so he nearly tripped over her. Straightening up, she turned and put a pebble into his hand.“Over here,” she said softly, and led him to a small square stone set in the earth. He thought it was Caitlin’s grave—the child who’d come before Young Jenny, the sister who’d lived but one day—but then saw that Caitlin’s stone lay a few feet away.

This one was the same size and shape, but—he squatted by it, and running his fingers over the shadows of its carving, made out the name.

Yeksa’a.

“Mam,” he said, and his voice sounded strange to his own ears.

.“Is that right, Ian?” she said, a little anxious. “Your da said he wasna quite certain of the spelling of the Indian name. I had the stone carver put both, though. I thought that was right.”

“Both?” But his hand had already moved down and found the other name.

Iseabaíl.

He swallowed hard.“That was right,” he said very softly. His hand rested flat on the stone, cool under his palm.She squatted down beside him, and reaching, put her own pebble on the stone. It was what you did, he thought, stunned, when you came to visit the dead. You left a pebble to say you’d been there; that you hadn’t forgotten.His own pebble was still in his other hand; he couldn’t quite bring himself to lay it down. Tears were running down his face, and his mother’s hand was on his arm.

“It’s all right, mo duine,” she said softly. “Go to your young woman. Ye’ll always be here wi’ us.”

The steam of his tears rose like the smoke of incense from his heart, and he laid the pebble gently on his daughter’s grave. Safe among his family.It wasn’t until many days later, in the middle of the ocean, that he realized his mother had called him a man.

83 COUNTING SHEEP ~ An Echo in the Bone

[clanwarrior-tumbly]

Can I maybe Request a oneshot of a Friendly alternative Reader who is comforting Mark after saving him from the other alternatives? This man needs a break..and some of his fav movies with junk food like pizza and such while wrapped in a blanket. :(

"GET OUT!! LEAVE ME ALONE!!! NOW!!"

Despite the loud shouts of the terrified human who held a gun in his trembling hands, you just calmly stared down at him. He had been screaming nonstop ever since you and two other Alternates broke into his house.

However, he didn't realize that those ones were gone...because of your intervention.

Sure, it was common for Alternates to fight each other over human victims, but you didn't chase them out just so you could take over this one's identity or drive him to suicide.

No.

You in fact arrived here to save him.

You've been watching him for quite some time--ever since that encounter with the "Intruder". Yet you never made yourself known to him, curious about his behavior as a human.

And it made you want to protect him from all things evil and vile. It sounds ironic, considering you're one of those evil and vile things that haunted his existence, and showed up at his bedroom door on this very night.

But you only look the part, deep down you've developed things like "empathy" and "compassion"...and you wanted to show Mark that you're not out to harm anybody. You hoped that by fighting the other Alternates, he'd see that and at least put the gun down.

Yet he kept it trained on you, finger on the trigger.

Every time you tried talking, he believed you're attempting to inflict MAD on him and would start shouting curses, prayers, and whatnot, demanding you to leave.

"You don't understand, little one. I'm here to help you-"

"You can "help me" by dropping DEAD!! I'll fucking do it, I swear!!" He screamed, his voice nearly giving out.

It was very much obvious that his vocal cords couldn't take the strain. With his dehydration and all of the screaming and crying he's done for hours on end--begging for his parents and for his God to help--it's a miracle he could still even speak.

But it's clear that this conversation wasn't going anywhere. Talking's not the solution.

So you decided to let him shoot you and see what happens. As much as you hated for him to learn the truth...what else could you do in this moment?

You knew the bullet wouldn't hurt, but he didn't.

When you reached for his gun, he yelled and pulled the trigger--

Yet you barely even flinched, much to his horror; not even a slight wince of pain escaped your mouth.

"Wh..What..?" Mark shuddered, eyes growing wide as they darted all over your shadowed form, not finding any wounds nor blood whatsoever.

Where the hell did the bullet go?

It was like..you absorbed it or had some bulletproof skin.

'But those broadcasts...they told us that firearms would-'

"They lied to you, Mark. No manmade weapon can kill us." You regrettably told him, seeing the realization hit him. "Despite what your government has told you, a gun will not keep you safe. We may mimic humans, but we do not follow the same laws of biology as you."

"..n-no..that's..." He seemed to be in utter denial, dropping the gun as his arms fell back to his sides. "I don't believe it.....why would they..?"

Staring at you in shock, he could see a look of sadness flashing in your eyes. And he felt tears filling up his own, his whole body trembling as he wondered what else those broadcasts could have possibly lied about.

"I-Is that true?"

"Unfortunately, yes." You nodded your head. "But that's not the only thing: your law enforcement won't be here to help. They were given orders to ignore people who cry "Alternate"...because they fear mass causalities and assimilation attempts."

".....no...I....I-I called them so many times, and they said they'd help me! They said someone was on the way!!" His voice cracked as he slumped back onto his bed, face buried in his hands; the shock was slowly becoming too much for him to handle.

"I'm sorry.." You muttered. "But nobody is coming. Those are just comforting lies disguising a painful truth."

He couldn't understand any of it.

Guns didn't work?

The police won't deal with Alternates?

Did they just give up on protecting terrified, innocent civilians like himself?

How could he put his faith in them..or anyone, for that matter?

What was the point of surviving if nobody was going to save him?

Why bother living?

Mark put his hands down, his gaze flickering to the gun on the floor. And for a brief moment he considered just ending it all...right here, right now.

He wouldn't have to hide anymore.

He wouldn't have to feel this pain.

He wouldn't have to feel so...afraid.

And yet he couldn't bring himself to immediately grab it. Instead he stared at you, wondering why you attacked those two Alternates and didn't try to harm him now that he let you in.

What was so special about him? His life was meaningless. He didn't know where Cesar was, his sister was out of town, and nobody at school noticed he was missing class...he was all alone.

If anything, he was a perfect target.

Why spare his life?

"..j-just leave me be.." Out of pure distraught, he began to weep again, curling up on the bed and hugging himself like a terrified child. Hot tears streaked down his face as he begged you to go away, not wanting to hear one more horrible truth from you.

You frowned slightly, feeling some guilt in knowing you've told this man things he didn't wish to hear; yet it wasn't anything metaphysical that would've given him a severe case of MAD.

If you went any further and mentioned that he had been praying to a false god his entire life...he probably would've grabbed that gun already.

Surely, some other Alternate would have jumped on that opportunity But not you.

Instead, you wanted to comfort him, though you weren't sure what to do at first. He wasn't threatening you, but obviously he was still quite freaked out.

So you stood up and looked around his room for anything that could help him calm down, eventually spotting a blanket tossed into the corner. It looked slightly dirty upon closer examination, but otherwise soft as you picked it up.

Looking back at Mark, you could see his head resting on his knees, shoulders trembling and jolting every other second. 'Is he cold?' You wondered.

The air did feel quite chilly in this room. Perhaps this blanket could help.

As he sensed your presence becoming closer, he raised his head rather quickly, about to scream at you to leave--

Only to stop when he felt the weight of the familiar cotton fabric being wrapped around his shoulders, and he watched your claws gently adjust it so it didn't fall off.

You kneeled in front of him, ensuring it was brought around the front of his torso, your eyes seemingly smiling at him. "Does that feel better? You must've been so cold..you humans have such fragile skin. Very vulnerable to the harsh elements of your world."

Sniffling, his eyebrows furrowed as he just stared back at you in silence, utterly dumbfounded by your behavior. Yet he couldn't help but nod in agreement to your words, feeling a warmth overcome him.

Why were you acting like this?

After all, he tried to kill you. So why were you so merciful?

He didn't know what to say.

Your eyes wandered to the home phone that was on his bed, taking it. "I learned that..humans like to eat when they're in distress. You must be famished, little lamb. You hadn't left this room for days...do you have food out there?"

"...n-no." Mark shook his head, surprised when you handed the phone to him, and he shakily grasped it. "What..do you want me to do?"

"Takeout."

"...huh..?"

"The youth of your kind like "takeout". So get takeout for yourself." Standing up, you backed away and smiled, seeing that he looked a little more comfortable.

Although he had so many questions, you simply left the room, ensuring the nightlight in the corner was still on beforehand.

He sniffled as he wiped the tears from his eyes with the blanket, sighing and staring at the numbers on the phone. Then he finally decided to dial the local pizza place.

He could go for some after all the hell he's been through.

..........

When the delivery guy arrived to Mark's house, you were nowhere to be found, and so he tried to act as normal as possible while paying for the pizza.

It was a rather awkward exchange considering he hasn't had any human contact in days (not to mention going through one of the most traumatic experiences of his life).

But when they asked if he was alright, he lied about going through a "tough breakup". And they wished him a good day before leaving.

After closing the door, he turned around--

Nearly dropping the box in fright when he saw you standing by the couch.

"What did you get?"

"God-!! D-Don't do that." He spoke through gritted teeth. "Why are you still here? What do you want from me?"

"I'd like to know what pizza tastes like." You tilted your head like a curious cat.

"......"

"......."

"....it's cheese." Sighing, Mark just went over the couch, setting the box down on the coffee table. In the blink of an eye, you were sitting beside him.

Since you were awfully tall, you knees were touching your chest, and you rested your arms on them as you smiled down at the human. You noticed he still kept the blanket wrapped around himself.

He looked quite cute, if you'll be honest.

It was awful quiet in the house as he took a slice of pizza and chewed on it, seemingly staring off into the distance, thinking.

You had taken up a slice, too, revealing your sharp humanlike teeth as they bit down on the gooey cheese. And your eyes lit up with delight at the flavor....before you rapidly consumed it.

"Woah, what the hell?!" Mark was startled, watching you swallow it whole with wide eyes. "Damn, I guess..you were hungry, huh?"

"I don't need food, but..it was quite delicacy."

"..you mean delicious?"

"...yes." You realized your error. "So...what else do you usually do?"

"Why do you wanna know?" He scowled, his hostility returning. "So you can mimic my routine when you takeover-?"

"Mark, I've already told you..that's not my intention."

"But why? Those other two tried to kill me! One mimicked my best friend..th-the other tried getting inside my fucking head...but you...you just attacked them. Why?"

"Because unlike most Alternates who lack empathy and compassion...I happen to have those." You gently explained to him. "Think of me as...a sheep in wolf's clothing, if you will. I don't follow the Savior's-"

"Wait..the Savior?" He blinked slowly. "You don't mean-"

"No, no..not yours." You reassured him. "We have a different Savior who says we should annihilate humanity, but I disagree. So I chose my own path. I wanna help your kind because...well...there's a lot of beauty to be found in it. Like you."

"Me?" Mark raised an eyebrow, doubting that he exemplified anything "beautiful" about humans. "I'm just a kid who pointed a gun at you."

Looking down at him, you shook your head. "There's beauty in your desire to survive, little lamb. You showed fortitude while most would have crumbled at the first sight of me. That alone was impressive."

"...yeah, well..my "fortitude" was great before I knew that the broadcasts fucking lied to us." He felt his eyes starting to sting again, and he hastily wiped them, not wanting to look pathetic and helpless in front of you anymore. "So is that their plan? To leave our lives in your hands and basically tell us to fuck off if we call about an encounter?"

"......."

"...right, you told me. I guess we'd be even more screwed if Alternates started mimicking cops." His shoulders slumped, suddenly losing his appetite as he stared at the few pizza slices that remained, only now realizing you've eaten most of them.

But he didn't care.

He just wanted to be done caring.

You could tell a lot of this new information was weighing heavily on his mind, so you wondered if a distraction could help ease his anxieties.

Then your eyes landed on the TV in front of you both, the remote on the table next to the pizza box. It still intact and untampered, and with your influence over it you could stop another Alternate from overtaking the signals. "You like TV? We should watch some."

"But-"

"Nothing bad will happen to you. No Alternate will set foot in here other than me." You promised, shifting a bit closer to him. "You have my word, Mark Heathcliff."

Finally, he gave in and decided to trust your words. But only because he had nobody else to turn to and you seemed to show sympathy towards his situation. So he reached for the remote and turned on the TV, unsure of what to expect as he flipped through the channels.

Part of him worried he'd see that same man that he met in his childhood all those years ago..

Yet all the stations were normal, and he eventually found one where a favorite movie of his was playing. You could see the way his eyes lit up, realizing he found something he liked given the way he curled up and relaxed.

You simply watched the movie with him in silence. Neither of you knew how much time had passed, although judging from the light outside the locked windows, it was night.

Then you became surprised upon feeling something soft against your arm; you looked down to see it was his head, the top of his messy brown hair visible to you.

"Mark?"

"......."

There was only more silence from him, but since you could sense his gentle breathing, you knew he had fallen asleep.

You mused at how quickly you managed to gain his trust.

Only a little while ago, this young Christian boy was condemning you to hell and back, thinking you were some vile "demon" coming to kill him.

But now? Your presence seemed to comfort him.

Smiling, you carefully put your arm around him, hugging him a bit closer to your side. He snuggled closer to you out of instinct, not having felt the comforting touch of somebody in a long, long time.

'How could Gabriel ever want to destroy these precious creatures?' You pondered.

You knew he needed this rest, and so you let him be, keeping your eyes on both the television and the shadows all the around the house.

You'll make sure no other Alternate harms this soul.

Never again.

[wandanatsbaby]

Princess In Red

Pairing: Dark Princess Wanda Maximoff x Fem maid reader

Warnings: slight mentions of smut, dark themes, killing, posion

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Wanda laid beside you silently as she watched your bare chest rise and fall as you slept peacefully. It was the first time you had ever slept in her room and she couldn't be happier. Getting to watch as your eyelids fluttered with your dreams, the small mutters you would let out, your peaceful breathing, and just getting to feel your warmth and hold you. This was something she was never allowed to have until now.

Her parents always forbid her from having any relationships claiming she needed to keep herself pure for her suture and for a while she tried, until she laid her eyes upon you. Maybe it was the innocence that radiated off you, the obedience, the eager to please; or maybe it was simply how you would listen to her ramble on about nothing, listen to her complain about her parents trying to marry her off to yet another prince, perhaps it was the way you’d broken the rules one evening by taking her into your arms and whispering soft reasurrences to her as she cried. Whatever it was Wanda had found herself falling for you quickly. You went from being a simple handmaid to being Wanda's Lady in waiting. Many of the other maids had despised you of this but before you could even question them they would disappear without a trace.

Being the Princesses Lady in waiting was not bad in fact you loved it. She showered you with praises everyday and even gave you pieces of old jewelry that she would find you staring at. She would let you lay in her bed, try on her fancy dresses (that always seemed to be just a tad bit too big on you) and she started holding you close. She was very affectionate and touchy so it was no surprise to anyone when you two would be spotted walking down the hall with her arm around your waist or your arms looped together. She always made sure that her parents never saw though as she knew they would not approve of how close the two of you were.

One fateful day though after you and Wanda had gotten done being more intimate her father caught you two very close and was beyond angry. Wanda wasn’t even able to utter a word before you were harshly grabbed by a guard and dragged off to the dungeon with a cry of her name. Wanda had tried to reason with her father but he would hear none of it. That's when Wanda formed the plan.

Sneaking into the kitchen, Wanda took the small vial out of her dress pocket and poured it into her father and mothers cup. The poison was to work quickly and was not supposed to bring the victims any pain. Sitting down at the large table Wanda had watched with a small smirk as her parents drank from their cups and soon collapsed. The palace doctors had said it was a heart attack but Wanda knew better.

When they were claimed officially dead Wanda ordered a guard to bring you to her with the threat of death if he was to leave even a single mark on you.

You fully collapsed onto Wanda when you had arrived at her room sobbing as you held onto her tightly.

“Shh Detka it's all okay now. You're safe. Nothings going to happen to you.”

As you slept Wanda watched the rise and fall of your chest as she gently stroked your face. Tomorrow she will be crowned Queen in front of the whole kingdom. Tomorrow she will ask for your hand in marriage. Some of the citizens would go against her for it but that didn't matter, they would just have to disappear like the maids did.

That night as she holds you close she promises you the world. She promises that nobody will ever take you from her. She will kill everyone who tries.