#hes bisexual but nobody wants him. hes mean. hes a pathetic sad little guy. hes a wet paper bag. he has killed in cold blood nd would again

[titanofthedepths]

I think my oc Delta could be a tumblr sexyman but also I dont trust ppl to treat him right

[punkcherries]

get ready to rrrrrumble

jesus christ this is a long ass submission so uh puts it in a read more also puts my txt in bold so its easier to read 👍

Right, so I’ve just read everything that happened in the last few asks you got and I’m just gonna sit down and tell you this right now. You better strap the fuck in because this is long and if you’re not gonna read it, shame on you, because all of this is specifically about YOU and the problems people have with you (the people Blu mentioned). First off, I’m not Blu, so don’t go and start calling him names in your server because you’re finally, FINALLY, being called out on all the bullshit you do. I used to be your friend, I left on semi-good terms, and this entire thing is going to explain WHY I left + why you need to square the fuck up.

sounds like fun whoever u are

You need to get your shit together and seriously change yourself, but of course you’re not gonna do that, because you’re an incompetent piece of shit who has your head so far up your ass you can’t see all the things you do wrong. You act like you’re the person who suffers the most, and that anytime anyone is rude to you it’s THEIR fault, not the fact that you did something terrible to someone or that you started some drama. I’ve been fed up with this shit for months, and have been hesitant to say anything directly to your face, because you don’t even know me that well and we hardly talked. We did interact a few times, but those few times were absolute hell to me, because I must have literally retracted some kind of disease just from being near you. You are the fucking EMBODIMENT of tumblrina, and it’s so fucking sad because you weren’t like this before (based on what a few others have told me).

the use of tumblrina here is jus makin me laugh ur a funny guy buddy but i feel like my past self is worse thn my current self like past me participated in cringe culture so like ew

The way you talk? Absolutely fucking horrid. Sit the fuck up and talk like a normal goddamn human being. I’m here to talk to you, not to decipher some 57 commas and abhorrid shortening of words. Jesus fucking Christ Sombre, I can understand Internet slang and cutting some words up, but you fucking butcher the English language so bad it literally sounds like a toddler having a stroke while mashing at their keyboard. It’s “that” not “tht”, it’s “thing” not “thng”, it’s “something” not “smth”, and for GOD FUCKING SAKES IT’S “THE” NOT “TH”. ARE YOU LITERALLY SO FUCKING LAZY THAT YOU CAN’T EVEN TYPE “THE”, A THREE LETTER WORD. I don’t give a shit if you’re talking like this to sound like an anxious uwu tumblr piece of SHIT, it sounds fucking IDIOTIC and it’s an ABSO-FUCKING-LUTE PAIN TO READ.

language is fake and is mostly just sounds we give meaning, im very sorry if you have trouble reading the way i type and id be more than happy to try and not speak to you like i usually do to everyone else if you just asked politely and talked it out with me (tho the idiotic part is accurate im not very smart lmao)

SPEAKING OF YOUR TUMBLR, LET’S TALK ABOUT YOUR UPSET.TXT TAG. If you think anyone is gonna pity you, SPOILER ALERT! THEY’RE FUCKING NOT. Unless they’re your shitty “friends”, NOBODY fucking gives a shit, alrighty? Speaking from my perspective and a few others, nobody’s gonna see this venting on their dashboard and give two shits. Unless they’re your mutuals, they won’t care and it just leaves a bad impression. It’s pathetic how when ANYTHING negative happens to you, you decide to take to Tumblr to boo hoo crypost about it. You wanna vent? You wanna cry yourself to sleep? Cool, talk about it on your server, NOT FUCKING TUMBLR, WHERE LITERALLY ANYONE CAN SEE IT. This is just like how Facebook used to be, you see these posts of people posting personal shit and getting bit in the ass for it later, YEAH WELL THAT’S WHAT’S HAPPENING TO YOU RIGHT NOW BUDDY. DON’T LIKE IT? DON’T FUCKING VENT ON TUMBLR.

i rarely vent on here dude like?? do you see the time gaps between the posts in my vent tag? its also my blog so i can post whatever i like as long as im not hurting anyone yo, plus the point of venting for me at least isnt to like get attention or sympathy its to let off some steam not to mention most to all of my vent posts are vague as hell so like…. why do you even care though?? if i get bit in the ass then thats my problem not yours

Right, so let’s talk about your “im gay” tag too! You identify as male, correct? That’s cool! Congrats. But you’re not gay if you clearly show an interest in girls. Doesn’t matter if they’re fictional or not. Your “im gay” tag is filled with girls (Bismuth, some anime girl, pinup girls). NEWSFLASH ASSHOLE! You’re male, those are females! Opposite genders! That means you’re NOT GAY! WOAAAAAH! So who are you to be reblogging and posting all this shit about how hetero people are the devil, hetero people are the worst wah wah, when you yourself identify as a guy and clearly seem to be interested in girls, even if just a little?

dude i used to identify as nonbinary i only recently started identifying as male, hell i used to identify as female ages back so like? the posts in that tag are most to all old and i do realize my attraction to girls isnt gay, hence why ive only been referring to my attraction to dudes as me being gay post-male identification i guess

Speaking of all the heterophobic shit you reblog, have you not considered it could make some of your followers feel absolutely terrible? I’m bi myself, I like both guys and girls, but holy FUCK when I see that shit on your blog it makes me feel guilty for liking guys at all! Is that how you want people to feel? Whether they’re pan, bi, or straight, that shit’s literally so fucking damaging and it sure as hell hurts to see! And don’t throw that “some of those posts are jokes” bullshit at me, because guess the fuck what! They may be jokes to people who aren’t hetero, but they sure as hell don’t seem like jokes to those who are! How would you feel if I made a joke that was even SLIGHTLY negative towards homosexuals? Wait, no, don’t answer that, because I already know how you’d feel. You’d get pissy, you’d stomp your little baby feet over to Tumblr, and then crypost about it, saying you’re facing homophobia and being harassed blah blah blah.

HETEROPHOBIC IM LAUGHING…. buddy…. pal…. heterophobia is fake and im very sorry if those post make you feel bad as a bisexual person (im also bi so) but heterophobia isnt actually a thing, comparing jokes directed at straight people to lgbtphobia is inherently lgbtphobic as it compares little jokes most to all directed at bigoted/ignorant straights to something that can often result in the actual literal death of hundreds of people for their gender/orientation- that doesnt happen to straight people dude

Also: you don’t have autism. Were you officially diagnosed? Because I’m gonna be real fuckin’ honest, it doesn’t sound like you have autism. You sure have something, hoh yeah, but it’s sure as hell not autism. You put your “autism” up on a pedestal and act like it’s one of the only things about you, like no hunty, your mental illness doesn’t define you. Nobody gives a shit, okay? Your mental illness isn’t an excuse to act like a literal fuckface, it’s not an excuse to treat people like shit, and it sure as hell isn’t an excuse to blame everything on others and make yourself out to be the good guy because “my autism made me anxious or forget things ;w;”. This is the exact kind of tumblrina thing I’m talking about, people on this goddamn website act like their mental illness is the only quality about them and that not being neurotypical makes them special. NEWS-FUCKIN-FLASH, it doesn’t. It really doesn’t. You don’t see me using my mental illness as an excuse for my actions, because I actually step the fuck up and take responsibility for shit I’ve caused. My mental illness does not define me. There’s more to me than that. You need to realize that your fake-ass autism isn’t an excuse for you to be a fucking asshole to the people around you, and that your actions do have consequences. Stop blaming others for shit you’ve caused, stop calling people jackasses when it’s YOU who’s insulting people and twisting the truth, and for the love of God tell your white knights of friends to shut the FUCK up if they don’t know all the details of a situation.

i was technically diagnosed albeit in a nontraditional fashion (a psych at our middleschool was the one who diagnosed me) and i have never defined myself solely by my autism nor have i used it as an excuse for my fuck ups, ive literally apologized and stopped doing the things i did since the blu incident, i recognize i fucked up there and i apologized and i havent done the whole lying out of anxiety thing since, also my white knights of friends??? YOURE the one coming into MY inbox to tell me how shit i am after i blocked blu i literally just want this to be over leave me alone dude

Alright, so now that we’re done talking about YOU, let’s talk about your fandoms. You like Osomatsu-San. Okay, that’s fine. What’s not fine is how FUCKING obsessive you are about it. There’s nothing wrong with liking something and being attached to characters, making art of it, having a blog, reblogging it, talking about it, that’s okay. That’s okay! But you? You fucking hold the characters so close and act like they’re your own characters. You get upset when something doesn’t go your way in the show. This was evidenced by how many times you’ve complained about episodes (guess where? upset.txt) after they’ve come out. That anon about the straight joke? You got so heated over that, didn’t you? Saying Chibita was “out of character”, BITCH, what do you fucking know? He’s not your goddamn character! The writers will write him however the fuck they want. It’s THEIR fucking show, it’s THEIR fucking characters, and it’s THEIR decision of who does what and who acts like what. There’s a VERY thick line between canon and fanon, and you can’t seem to distinguish that AT ALL. You merge your shitty headcanons with the canon universe, and when something doesn’t go your way, you FREAK THE FUCK OUT and go crying about it in your server or on your tags.

youre blowing that ONE FUCKING POST so out of proportion ive never complained abt ososan in upset.txt outside of MAYBE episode 4 and that would be because of the NONCONSENSUAL SEX SCENE i KNOW my headcanons arent canon i KNOW that the chibita/snowtoko complaint was MINOR and i fucking LIKED THAT EPISODE A LOT!! i didnt cry i just felt that based on how the staff have characterized chibita up until that point it was a little jarring to see him react like he did THAT IS ALL! what the fuck!! how would you even know what i talk about in my servers!! youre obviously misinformed my guy!!!

Lemme tell you something, Sombre: Karabita isn’t canon. OH SHIT! I SAID IT BOYS! THAT’S A FUCKING CURSE ISN’T IT!! No, sorry, sit the fuck down and suck those tears up, because it’s true. It’s not canon. It isn’t. You grasp at straws to say it is, but it isn’t. Chibita wore somehing blue? Oh shit, it’s Karamatsu! He’s clearly in love with him! No, sorry honey, that’s not how it works. Of course Chibita would feel pity on him and let him stay with him (ep 24), because who wouldn’t? That doesn’t mean they’re dating. Karamatsu may be the most bisexual person ever, but he sure as hell isn’t dating Chibita (at least, not canonly). Speaking of Chibita, you need to stop acting like any other Matsu x Chibita ship is literal hell. They’re not. There are some decent ones out there, and although they’re rarepairs by now, they’re a lot better quality than the Karabita bullshit you spew out.

me saying karabita is canon is a joke, and my disdain for non karabita matsubita ships is based half in coping reasons and half in chibita has literally no chemistry with the other matsus and seems to not like any of the other bros at all whereas hes actually shown some level of tolerance or interest in karamatsu

While we’re on the subject of non-canon ships, Atsutodo isn’t canon either. Fuck’s sake, they were on screen together for 10 damn seconds. Yes, I’m aware there’s card art of Atsushi and Todomatsu having a meal together, but they’re very clearly not dating if Todomatsu is still going out with girls and holding their hands etc. Oh, speaking of Todomatsu: Your trans hc of him? Generic as fuck. He’s not trans. Call me a transphobe, I don’t give a shit, but he’s not trans. Look at the -kun animes. He’s a guy. Where in his life would he have magically been a girl and then go right back to a guy? The time span between a 12 year old and a 21 year old isn’t long enough to allow you time to transition. In that day and age, it wasn’t even acceptable to be transgender. So none of the Matsus are trans, get that out of your head. Get those “autism hcs” out of your head too, because I KNOW you hc Kara and Jyushi as autistic (and I’m aware you used to headcanon Ichimatsu as autistic too, but we’ll get to that later).

i know atsutodo isnt canon i never said it was all the “x ship is canon” jokes are about karabita and theyre jokes dude, i just think atsutodo would be cute. why the fuck do you even care about my trans hcs?? theyre HEADCANONS they dont HURT ANYONE and like dude there are trans children out there….. stop being a fuckface about simple headcanons what the fuck.

Lemme tell ya something. Karamatsu sure as hell isn’t autistic. Literally the only reason you headcanon him as such is because you yourself claim to be autistic and because “uwu he’s m fav,,,, i relate to him,,,”. Also, I realize “jyushi is autistic xD” headcanons are common, but JESUS FUCK it’s time for them to die. Jyushimatsu is just bizarre in and out, it’s his personality and his way of life. If you’re gonna hc him as autistic for his personality, you’re obviously ignoring his physical abilities. What about that time he cloned himself? Grew different sizes? What about how he seemingly has no bones (tentacle arms)? But oh, let’s ignore that, because he’s always got a smile on his face and he has a childish personality so DURR HE’S OBVIOUSLY AUTISTIC. Also, you used to headcanon Ichimatsu as autistic, but as soon as you started hating him you threw that headcanon out the window. This is PROOF you only headcanon your favorite characters as autistic, and that’s some of the STUPIDEST shit ever.

literally just let people headcanon what they want if it doesnt hurt anyone, im sure in canon theyre not autistic but this is HEADCANON. and is this also to imply that just because a character can do bizarre thing with theyre body they cant also be autistic?? what the fuck does that have to do with anything??? and i didnt throw my autistic ichi hc out the window because “i hate him” i dont even hate him im indifferent to him i hate his fanon incarnation because its stupidly out of character and one note, i also didnt even drop the autism hc for him i feel like he definitely 100% could be autistic but i just dont think about it as much because i think about other characters more than i think about him

Oh yeah, I’d love to hear why you hate Ichimatsu so much? Shut up, I know it’s because “hhhh he abuses kara” but that’s fucking wrong. Listen, Ichimatsu isn’t exactly my favorite either but at least I don’t make him out to be a fucking asshole to Karamatsu. All of the brothers have treated Karamatsu like shit at one point or another. They’ve thrown things at him, ditched him, called him names, ignored him, it’s a fucking trope in the anime that Karamatsu was the one to get hurt. Sure, season 2 has kinda turned that around, but the whole “Ichimatsu is bitter to Karamatsu” thing is the dynamic between them. They DO have moments where they’re not onto each other, though. See how Ichimatsu followed Karamatsu into the woods? Remember the episode where they switched clothes? They didn’t kill each other neither of those times, did they? And yes, I’m aware Ichimatsu has hurt Karamatsu at times (the bazooka, I think smacking?) but he doesn’t LITERALLY ABUSE HIM. You don’t see him kicking him around, PUNCHING HIM, HITTING HIM, EVERY SECOND OF HIS LIFE. Yes, he calls him names. Yes, he’s threatened to hurt him (“I’ll kill you, Shittymatsu.”) but he’s been stopped or HAS stopped every time. If he really was so intent on hurting Karamatsu, don’t you think he wouldn’t ignore his brothers and hurt Karamatsu anyway? But no, he didn’t, and he stopped each time he grabbed Kara. That’s because the entire “Ichimatsu despises Karamatsu” thing is a GAG in the show. It’s meant to be funny. It’s not meant for your negative ass to label it as abuse and then boohoo about it every time Ichimatsu is mentioned. That’s not a valid reason to hate a character, hell, even Karamatsu’s seiyuu said in a Doramatsu CD that Karamatsu was just comic relief. And if you’re gonna look for a reason why Ichimatsu dislikes Karamatsu, consider the hinted and well-supported reason: Ichimatsu “hates” Karamatsu because of how confident he is and how he can always be himself. Ichi is insecure. Ichi is antisocial. Kara, on the other hand, can express himself and show how “cool” he is. Consider that Ichimatsu wants to be more like him, hence why he said he’s the “number one Karamatsu boy” in that one episode.

okay this is just ridiculous i DONT HATE ICHIMATSU and i KNOW its a GAG, i KNOW they get along sometimes i KNOW all the brothers have shat on kara I KNOW THIS abuse takes many forms though and in a more serious anime the way the bros treat kara would probably be depicted as abusive, but it isnt a serious anime so its a gag and i understand that thats FINE, did you even watch the ichimatsu incident? ichimatsu got plenty fucking pissed off at karamatsu and stuff and the “number one karamatsu boy” nonsense was him being concerned about how karamatsu might think of him as such not him calling himself a karamatsu boy, and yes i know the whole ichi wants to be cool and confident like kara thing i understand that but even so that wouldnt logically excuse his bitterness toward kara but again, its a gag anime so its whatever, youre also ignoring the facet of his disdain towards kara being in part because kara is also vain and ichi finds this annoying and thinks kara is fake as hell because of it there was something in i think a magazine where the bros are all asked what they think of eachother i think and i THINK ichi said something along the lines of him not liking kara because he fakes being nice for the sake of his own ego or something (which is likely ichi just having a negative image of kara rather than that actually being the case because i dont think karas that smart but who knows i dont!!) so like y’know

In conclusion, I would like to say you need to shut the fuck up and chill with your fandoms and headcanons, realize headcanons aren’t canon, and also get your head out of your ass. You’ve done so many wrong things and need to stop blaming them on others. You’ve lied, insulted, and put the blame on so many of your old friends, you’ve avoided people who you deem “toxic” (simply because they have different opinions than you), you think people can’t form their own opinions, and you don’t back up your friends when they’re getting shittalked. You act like an assoholic brat and cannot, for the life of you, open up your eyes and see this. You’re lucky the dicktwats on your server are there for you, because if they weren’t, you’d be all alone, and honestly? That seems pretty good at this point. Fits you perfectly.

i know headcanons arent canon, i know ive lied (though ive really only insulted people who were dicks to my friends and maybe blu which probably not a good thing but i mean hes also insulted me so?? even i guess??) and i regret that, im more honest now and try my best to show kindness to people who have done me and my friends no wrong, ive only ever put blame on blu i literally dont blame anyone else for anything, i dont avoid people i deem “toxic” i avoid people i dont get along with because if i dont get along with them then theres no reason to talk to them im gonna let them live their lives, of course i think people can form their own opinions what on earth are you talking about???? when did i not back up a friend when they got shit talked?? i dont remember that but id like to deeply apologize if i ever did, unless youre talking about when someone in my server insults blu over ykno… him not leaving me alone and harassing me when ive done nothing but mind my own business since the incident, then while it was kind of uncomfortable for me because i felt it was the wrong thing to do i couldnt exactly muster the words to protest it. im very sorry you feel that way im always trying to improve and i like to think that im making some level of progress in being more sensitive and kind to those around me. but also dont insult my friends they didnt do shit weve been minding our own goddamn business this entire time blu is the one who started it back up again.

Now, go back to crying in your server and soaking in self-deprication, fuckass.

yknow i get the feeling i know who this is but i dont want to jump to any conclusions so, uh, okay! see ya my dude :0c

[anoldwound]

And My Wasted Heart Will Love You - Kurt/Finn [Glee]

Title:

And My Wasted Heart Will Love You

Characters/Pairings:

Kurt/Finn

Rating:

PG-13

Spoilers/Warnings:

Some slight sexual content

Word Count:

~3000

Summary:

I'm supposed to be trying to get over him, and instead I invite him over to my house for an imaginary party. Oh, God... what am I going to

wear

?!

A/N:

I have no clue if I got these characters right, but I gave it a shot. Kurt was absolutely, positively certain that he was going to be alone for the rest of his life. Call it Drama Queen Syndrome if you want, but it was still true, and he was in the mood for sitting around his room moping and feeling sorry for himself. He absently stabbed his desk with the pencil he was supposed to be doing his Algebra homework with as Joni Mitchell played in the background, and he thought about Finn's smile and his eyes and the way they would look at him sometimes, inspiring a small germ of hope inside his chest, only to be quashed the instant he remembered that Finn loved Quinn and not him – and would never love him, ever. Unless he was secretly bisexual. He could at least be a little bi-curious, right? Right?

No, he isn't,

Kurt angrily told himself, focusing his attention back to the imaginary numbers equation he was supposed to be doing. Imaginary numbers. Imaginary, like the entire fantasy world he had constructed around –

STOP IT.

Oh, God. He was so, so pathetic. His forehead hit his desk with a light thud. How was he supposed to concentrate on anything when his life was so... so

sad

? “Kurt?” The door cracked open slightly. Kurt looked up to see his dad peeking through the doorway at him. “Dinner's ready.” He gave a heavy sigh. “I'll be right out...” “Why is your room so dark? Is everything all right?” “No. But I don't want to talk about it.” A pause. “Okay.” The slit of light from the hallway disappeared, and Kurt sighed again. He switched off the lone desk lamp that illuminated his stupid homework that was utterly pointless, just like his pointless life and his pointless love for Finn. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath, trying to breathe in anything he could from the air around him, like some kind of courage, courage to get over Finn, courage to find something else to occupy his thoughts with, instead of this ceaseless aching in his heart. He remembered one time at football practice, as he forced himself to stare at his feet in the locker room instead of the men in various states of undress around him. He curled his toes and tapped his feet together three times. You could see some of the veins around his ankles. His eyes flicked over to the feet next to his, Finn's feet, pale like his but bigger. You could see the veins around his ankles as well, only they were not as delicate as his own. He idly wondered if he ought to suggest he and Finn go to a tanning booth together as Finn grabbed a dirty white sock and yanked it on. “Finn,” he said, jerking his head up. Finn looked over. “Yeah, what's up?”

Oh God, he's not wearing a shirt.

He felt a blush creep up his neck, which he began scratching nervously. “We're really pale.” He stared. “Um... yeah, I guess so.” “I hear there's a new tanning salon in the town center... do you wanna go there with me sometime?”

Oh my God, why am I asking him this, why in the world would he want to go to a tanning booth, what is wrong with me, oh my God why is he still not wearing a shirt?!

“Well... I mean, I guess it sounds... uh... well, you have fun.” He patted him on the shoulder and stood up, drying his hair with the towel as he walked away. Kurt gazed forlornly after him and wished that there was a way to travel back in time so you could kick your own ass before you said idiotic things to the man you were desperately in love with. Presently, Kurt picked his head up off of his desk and splayed his hands on top of his worksheet. Perfectly manicured nails, soft, white skin, the black cuffs of his new Calvin Klein top perfectly folded into neat triangles. Always impeccably dressed, with flawlessly coiffed hair, the height of fashion and fabulousness – why did nobody love him the way he wanted to be loved? He wasn't ever going to find anyone. He was always going to fall for the unattainable straight guy, and that was that. “Kurt! Your dinner's gonna get cold!” “I'm coming, I'm coming!” he yelled back. The smell of Chinese food wafted through the air as he opened the door, and it reminded him of Finn for no reason other than everything reminded him of Finn. *** The bell rang for second period and Kurt's feet were taking him to the hallway where Finn's locker was located, even though it was nowhere near his next class. Finn always went to his locker before second period to get his science textbook, and normally Kurt would feel like a stalker for knowing this but he had found that out completely by accident one day, so whatever. His heels clacked against the linoleum, and his heart began racing when he saw Finn coming down the opposite end of the hallway. Finn looked distracted, and headed immediately to his locker, hands fumbling at the lock. Kurt's heart was practically thumping in his stomach as he got closer (why did he always have this reaction, he saw Finn almost every single day, God he was such a mess), and he took a shuddering breath before he said, “Hello, Finn.” “Hey,” Finn mumbled, not looking at him. He finally got his locker open and grabbed his textbook. “How's it hanging?” “Fine, thank you.” Kurt gripped the strap of his satchel tightly. “Yourself?” “Not great.” He slammed his locker shut. “Quinn's acting weird again.” He hesitated, then turned to face him. “You wouldn't happen to know more about this pregnancy hormone stuff than I do, would you?” “Sorry. Can't help you there.” He smiled. “Maybe you should look it up on Google or something. The World Wide Webs.”

The World Wide Webs? What?

“I did. I still don't really get it, though,” Finn said, breaking eye contact. They stood there in silence for a few more seconds, Kurt drinking in Finn's face while Finn stood there uncomfortably. Finally Finn said, “Well, I should head to class now, I guess.” “Yeah. Have fun.” Kurt stood rooted to the spot as Finn brushed past him. He felt his chest constrict with pain and the smile faded from his face. On an impulse, he spun around and cried, “Wait!” Finn stopped in his tracks and turned around. “Yeah?” “Um – ”

crap gotta think of something

" – there's gonna be a little get-together at my house tonight. For Glee. Pump us up before sectionals. Do you wanna come?” Finn grinned. “Yeah, sure! Sounds awesome.” “Great! I'll see you at five tonight.” “See ya!” He waved and continued along his way. Kurt's grin froze like his teeth were simply clenching.

Oh Dear Lord.

There were, of course, no actual plans for a get-together. What on earth was he going to

do

?

I'm supposed to be trying to get over him

, he lectured himself in Algebra a few minutes later, as the teacher went over the homework he had never managed to finish.

And instead I invite him over to my house for an imaginary party. Oh, God... what am I going to

wear

?!

Kurt waited until the teacher's back was turned, then discreetly pulled his cell phone out of his pocket and began to text Mercedes.

Mercedes u need to come ovr 2 my house 2night wat y bcuz I told finn there was gonna b a prty but there isnt boi wat iz tha matta wit u idk but u have to come or im screwd cant i have planz but lemme txt tina k thnx

He flipped his phone closed and exhaled slowly. It was going to be okay.

Somebody

had to be free tonight, right? *** Nobody was free that night. Kurt laid down on his bed at 4:45 pm, his face smothered with the silk shirts and black pants spread out across his duvet. What was he going to

do

? It was going to look like he set this up on purpose. He was even wishing that Finn was bringing Quinn, although he probably wasn't, since she had left rehearsal early because she wasn't feeling well.

Oh, God. Okay, do NOT have a panic attack.

He sat up straight and smoothed his hair.

This is completely manageable. Just tell him the truth – that everyone was busy and that it's just me and him, and he can leave if he wants. Okay? Okay.

First, though, there was the urgent matter of his ensemble. After selecting the appropriate outfit (his Alexander McQueen sweater and some nice, form-fitting tuxedo pants by Oscar de la Renta), the doorbell rang. “I'll get it!” he yelled, and ran upstairs to answer the door. Just before opening it he took a deep breath and pulled down his shirt. “Hello,” he said, smiling up at Finn, who was alone. “Hey.” He looked inside. “Where is everybody?” “They were all busy,” Kurt said, tucking his hair behind his ear. “Jerks, the lot of them!” He chuckled faintly. “So... it's just you and me?” He looked wary. “Yeah. But you can just leave if you want; it's fine,” Kurt said hastily. “I'll reschedule. No biggie.” He waved his hand around like a buffoon and promptly wanted to commit suicide. “Eh...” Finn shoved his hands in his pockets and rocked his feet back and forth. “I guess I can stay for a little while. I don't have anything else to do.” Kurt's heart leaped. “Well... okay, then!” He stepped aside. “C'mon in!” “That sucks that everyone just canceled on you,” Finn said as he entered. “Well, to be fair, I only came up with the idea last night.” Kurt shut the door closed. “I shouldn't have expected that everyone could make it on such short notice.” “Ah.” Suddenly, Kurt's dad came out from his bedroom. “Hey Kurt, what's – ” He froze as he caught sight of Finn. “...Hello.” “Dad! This is Finn Hudson. You remember him?” He stared at Finn almost suspiciously. “Yeah. You're the quarterback, right?” Finn nodded. “He's also in Glee, Dad.” His dad's eyes slipped over to his. “What's he doing here?” “T-there was gonna be a party. For Glee. But no one else could come.” Kurt gave him as much of a “BACK OFF” look as he could without Finn noticing. “Huh.” He looked back at Finn. “You're the guy with the pregnant girlfriend?” “...Yes?” “Hmmph.” He looked him up and down, then said to Kurt, “Keep the door open, okay?” “

Dad!

”

Oh my God I am going to KILL HIM.

“It's not

like that

.” “Yeah, well...” He scratched his head and turned back in the direction of his room. “I'm gonna... go now...” He took one last look at Finn, then at Kurt, before he went back in his room and closed the door. “Oh my God, I am

so

sorry,” Kurt immediately apologized. Finn put a hand up. “Don't be. It's all right. Parents are weird and embarrassing. It's like a law of nature.” “Thanks.” He tucked his hair behind his ear again. “So, what do you wanna do?” He thought for a few seconds, then exclaimed, “Oh, dude! There's this hilarious YouTube video you have to check out! C'mon!” Finn grabbed Kurt's arm and started heading down the hallway. Kurt felt his skin go prickly and warm and cold all at the same time. “Wait... where's your room?” “You're heading in the right direction, don't worry.”

He's going to be in my room. Where my bed is. Fffffff –

“Oh, okay.” He let go of Kurt's arm and they went downstairs. Finn sat at Kurt's desk and clicked on Firefox. “I saw this yesterday and I just about died laughing. I think you'll like it.” “I can't wait.” Kurt dragged another chair over and crossed his legs. He was so close to Finn he could smell his aftershave. Finn eagerly went onto YouTube and found the video. “Here it is. You're gonna laugh, I promise.” Finn was right; Kurt was laughing so hard his stomach hurt. Finn was laughing as well, and they collided into each other several times as they rocked back and forth in their chairs and sang along, and Kurt would've sworn that Finn was doing it on purpose if he didn't know any better. Once the video was over, Kurt said, “I think we have an inside joke for life now – 'I'm a little man, and I'm also evil, also into cats'.” Finn chortled. “Nobody's gonna get it. It'll be awesome.” They both giggled, but the laughter faded away until they were simply staring at each other. For once, Finn didn't look away. “What should we do now?” Finn asked. “Well... any more absurdly funny YouTube videos?” He felt his heart go

thump thump thump

. “None that I can think of.” He finally averted his gaze. “Have any good movies? Or maybe I should leave.” “Why?” he asked quietly. “I dunno. Maybe I'm intruding.” “You're not intruding,” Kurt whispered.

What am I doing? This can't possibly end well. Snap out of it, Kurt Hummel.

“Um...” Finn shifted in his seat. “Okay. S-so... what movies do you have?” He abruptly stood up and inched away. “I have lots of movies. Depends on what you're in the mood for. Drama, comedy... romance...”

Seriously, what am I doing?! Stop making sad attempts to flirt! Jesus Christ.

“A comedy sounds good.” He looked decidedly nervous. Kurt tried to compose himself. “Great! The DVD rack is over there.” He pointed at the rack next to his TV. Finn picked up one of the DVDs and smirked. “Spider-Man.” “I don't believe that falls into the realm of 'comedy', but feel free to put it in anyway.” Kurt propped his feet up on Finn's vacated seat. His feet tingled. “I wouldn't think you'd like this kind of movie.” “Spider-Man is Spider-Man. Also, James Franco is ridiculously hot.” Finn laughed and put the DVD in, then sat awkwardly on the edge of Kurt's bed. Kurt felt himself begin to get... well,

excited

, so he took his feet off the chair and crossed his legs again.

The Holocaust. The time you found Dad's porn stash in the linen closet. Maggots. Lots and lots of maggots.

After a minute or so of that he calmed down and watched the movie with Finn, valiantly fighting the strong urge to jump on his bed and pin Finn down and start making out with him. They were about twenty minutes into the movie when Finn said, “Listen, Kurt – ” His breath caught in his throat. “Yes?” “We're... we're friends, right?” “I like to think so.” “Then – can I be honest with you?”

Oh, boy. Here it comes. Rejection City.

“Absolutely.” He braced himself. Finn cleared his throat. “I'm sure I'm gonna seem completely full of myself when I say this, but – I keep getting the feeling lately that, like, you have this... this thing for me? Or something? I'm probably just reading too much into it. I don't want to sound like one of those guys who thinks all gay dudes are in love with him or something, I just – yeah.” Kurt found himself almost unable to form coherent syllables. “Yeah – well – sure, I could understand where you, uh, may have gotten that, um, impression.” “Really? So there's nothing to it, then?” This was it. The moment of truth. Was he going to chicken out and say no, or was he going to admit it? Finn looked at him expectantly. “Well...?” Kurt took a deep breath. “It's... true.” He blinked. “Oh.” “Yes. I do sort of... have a... thing for you.” He felt like he was going to throw up. Every inch of him was trembling. “I'm sorry.” “Don't apologize, Kurt,” Finn said. He looked sad. “

I'm

the one who should be sorry. You deserve better than to be into

me

.” “You shouldn't sell yourself short like that, Finn.” “That's not what I meant. What I meant was...” He walked over and sat in the chair next to Kurt. “You deserve to like someone who can, you know... feel the same way towards you.” Kurt said nothing. Every molecule in his body felt like it was just dowsed in ice cold water. “I'm really sorry, man.” Finn bit his lip. “We're still friends though, right? I still think you're really awesome. And you're gonna find a... a great guy someday, and you're gonna be happy.” Kurt half-smiled. “I hope so, at least.” He smiled back. “You will.” He looked down at the floor and rubbed his neck. “Do you want me to leave now?” Kurt was silent for a moment, then said, “No. It's fine. Let's keep watching the movie.” “Okay. Cool.” Finn patted him on the knee and turned to face the television. Kurt bit back the screams of humiliation in his head and turned to the TV as well, feeling his heart break into a million tiny pieces.

What are you so upset about? You knew this was coming,

he thought.

Yes, but that doesn't make it hurt any less.

He stared numbly at the television, his hand resting where Finn's hand had just touched him, and they watched Spider-Man together, and that was that. And that was all it was ever going to be.