#hes a black cat but his brother is orange and they share the braincell

[eggcats]

my cat dexter gets the zoomies when he has to use the litter box and if I don't catch him and make him use it there's the risk of him not realizing he has to go until it's too late

which is fine and all, but despite me raising him since he was an infant, EVERY TIME I go to pick him up, he runs away from me like this is the time I decided to cut off his tail and eat it

it's literally like

dexter: mother loves me and I wish to Run Around and have fun! Excitement! Love!!!

me: okay time to use the potty

dexter: BETRAYAL!!!! EVIL!!!! YOU WILL NOT STEAL MY TAIL YOU VILE WITCH

and then the second I get him in the litter box (like I do at least 3x a day 🙄) he's like oh yeah, I do have to pee thanks for reminding me

and then this repeats every few hours

[sanjuno]

So a thing happened

Hey, so who remembers me saying that “Wildfire Hearts” was a one shot and I wasn’t gonna create an entire crew of OCs for a one shot?

... I’m weak and think too much so here have a crew list.

SHIP: Days of Reckoning

CREW: The Anarchy Pirates

Captain: Portgas D Riot | “Wildfire” Riot

Technically South Blue by way of his mother and birthplace, East Blue by way of his father and part of his childhood

Has eaten the Legendary Logia - Mera Mera no Mi, Model: Ghostfire (because “Hotarubi” reminds me of bog lights.)

Will never admit to anyone what happened in the canon timeline

Wants to bang Marco the Phoenix like a screen door in a hurricane

Completely out of fucks to give

Has died once already and fears nothing

First Mate: Ranger Dustin

Literally a cowboy

From East Blue

If Jesse McCree was a pirate this is the pirate he’d be

Has a Seahorse, likes to rope Seakings when he’s bored

Has roped and tied his crewmates and Captain to stop them from doing a Dumb more than once

Main weapons are his lassos and his ability to suplex a rowdy Seaking, but he’s also got a decent quickdraw – he shoots from the hip!

Hat-tip to Dusty – we loved you before you had a real name, white cowboy hat pirate man

Quartermaster: Occhio D Vittoria

Clairvoyant Clearfin Lionfish Mermaid

A “first generation” D – the D means “Drowned”

Technically an Author-SI but shh that’s a secret so she says she’s from Fishman Island

She’s basically a waterbender but only with seawater

Old enough to have legs and that’s all you need to know

Probably a witch actually

Spends a significant amount of time yelling at the Sea – please don’t freak out when the Sea starts arguing back if it happens just roll with it

Navigator: Kele of Shandora

Shandorian from a tribe that migrated away from the main Sky Island to an arpeggio to get some distance from the fighting

Has eyes tattooed on his eyelids for the lols

Black hair and black eyes, swarthy skin, many tattoos

He swol but built rangy like an alley cat

Has a magic compass

Fell off the Shandora arpeggio when trying to catch a seaturtle as a birthday present for his mother

Has pearl beads in his hair

HC that people from the Sky Islands have hollow bones, so Kele looks scary but is actually comparatively fragile.

Pirate married to Hilda and Tern

Cannoneer: Svan Hilda

Former North Blue noble

Platinum blonde with red eyes, very pale skin

Jacked like whoa – this woman can bench-press both her husbands and the main cannon at the same time

Also very tol

Really likes it when her “little surprises” make a bigger boom than the other guy’s

Frequently kidnapped by other pirate crews; proceeds to take them over through brute force and broken arms before absconding with their loot before they regain consciousness

Pirate Married to Kele and Tern

Bladesmith: Heel Tern

Why are there so many knives?

East Blue native and exactly as stubborn as you think that means

Light brown hair and dark brown eyes, tanned

Basically immune to fire because of Armament before Riot drags him out of East Blue because he started playing with burning coals before he was old enough to know better

Pirate married to Kele and Hilda

Doctor: Angelo Merci

Always smiling. Always.

Lost her medical license when she “accidently” slipped with her scalpel during surgery on a World Noble who was “fond of children”

Originally from West Blue

Technically was supposed to get killed for that but shanked the Marine escort and bolted before the order was given

Pink curly hair and green eyes, dark brown skin

Swordsman: Iago Montoya

Is basically what happens when a flamenco dancer and a swashbuckler have a baby

Very Dramatic Person

From South Blue

Dark purple hair and bright purple eyes, dark tan skin

Is BFFs forever with the Badu Brothers

Likes to accuse his opponents of killing his father to “set the proper mood!” even though Mr. Iago Sr. is running a popular theatre back in his hometown

Shipwrights: Ghal Friday and Mahn Gull

They are both from Water 7 but moved to East Blue as children

Friday looks like a dairy maid pin-up and has a grip that can crush cinderblocks barehanded

Has orange hair and blue eyes, tanned with freckles

Gull is really fond of secret passages and trapdoors

Has dark grey hair and overly large orange eyes, pasty from spending as much time as possible inside the ship

Friday and Gull are either married or co-dependant. We dunno for sure and we’re too scared to ask

They will finish each other’s sentences… and sandwiches.

They share only one braincell and it’s usually occupied with ship maintenance

Bard | Chronicler: Tarone Deff

A Lobster Fishman

From Fishman Island, obvs

His swimmerets have pseudo-hands that he uses to play instruments that need digits

Mostly a singer and percussion player tho

Has perfect pitch and can imitate voices really well

Musician: Dandy Leon

Has a massive embarrassing crush on Badur Mofu

Fails hard at flirting when he likes someone but gets like six different denden codes when he’s schmoozing for clothing discounts

Believes that every fight should have a musical score

Plays instruments beautifully, sounds like a dying cat when he tries to sing

Tucks his shirt into his pants but then leaves it unbuttoned so he can show off his “assets”

Fights with a giant fucking axe wtf you twee little bastard where were you keeping that?

Sniper: Mark Tagger

Has a telescope that is the same size as his rifle, and carries them both on his back in a harness, and that has caused some interesting incidents when he mixes them up by grabbing the wrong one

Best artist of the crew, so he helps Kele make the maps

Rainbow dreadlocks and black skin

Never seen without his visor on

Wears massively oversized shirts – I have no idea if he’s got pants on your guess is as good as mine

Cooks: Badur Mofu and Badur Asif

Twins – have recent Artic Wolf Mink Ancestry that makes them look feral, but far enough removed from it that they’re mostly human

White hair, gold eyes, claws, fangs, and slightly off proportions

Badur Asif talks, Badur Mofu doesn’t talk

Enhanced senses mean they are super strict about seasonings

Lookout | Spymaster: Long Conner

Extremely farsighted – can see an approaching ship 3 days away, cannot see own shoelaces

Learned hypnosis and grifting from his granny

Has a very trustworthy face

He is a lying liar who lies

Apprentice Captains:

Portgas D Ace

Born Gol, took mother’s family name instead

Ate the Mera Mera no Mi because he was shipwrecked and forgot to pay attention to what he was eating

Portgas D Sabo

A “First Generation” D

Formerly Outlook, forgot this due to brain trauma

Joined the crew at 13 when the Anarchy Pirates stole him from the Revolutionary Army

Ate the Yami Yami no Mi because Luffy did a Dumb Thing

Portgas D Luffy

Formerly Monkey

Ate the Gomu Gomu no Mi because he thought it was a desert

Gonna be the next King of Pirates