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bellmo15-blog · 7 months ago

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Times People Took My Jokes Seriously

What is one of the main things I tend to do a decent bit? And I mean other than sharing art that I commission or request artists to do for me. If you answered “Calling people out on their stupidity” then you’d be close because, well that sort of stuff needs to be called out anyway, but that actual answer I was looking for is joke around a lot. I often make satirical posts, crack a few jokes every now and then, poke fun at a bunch of shit and in the past 4 years alone I’ve been actively going out of my way to try and do something for April Fools day every year. I am a jokester. I grew up on a decent bit of media that knew to lighten up and have fun with its story every now and then. I even wanted to be a comedian at one point growing up. (Yeah, I wanted to be A LOT of thing as a child.) And for the most part people have been able to tell I’m joking.

… Notice that I said “for the most part.” This is because sadly, not everyone has been able to get most of what I say IS in fact a joke. It doesn’t happen often but when it does, it’s usually enough to make me groan, roll my eyes and question why I even try to make people laugh anyway. But what do you expect from people in today’s age anyway? This is not an issue exclusive to just me, that would be incredibly entitled and selfish of me to pretend like my jokes are the only ones that people over react to. This is an issue that’s been persistent on the internet for years now! I mean we got people who took the “THEY FLY NOW!?!?” scene from Rise of Skywalker, a scene that was made to get a chuckle out of the audience, WAY to seriously and try way too hard to dissect the scene about how the First Order having jetpack troops isn’t that new. Or how about that one meme that was made about a year after the Nintendo Switch came out poking fun at how many of the major games that been released for the thing were either ports of Wii U games or were very similar to games on the Wii U and not a few days after that meme, someone made a whole 10 min video complaining about what was basically a joke! Overreacting to meaningless and dumb shit or misinterpreting what’s said on the internet.

Sure, you don’t have to find every single joke you find the internet funny. I don’t, in fact one of my least favourite jokes from the last few years has been that stupid “PS5 has no games” joke that uses Linken Park’s In The End as a template and have even voiced my dislike for it recently but it’s not like I’m over-reacting to it or anything. I usually just ignore it and move on. The times I have gotten people taking my stuff overly seriously really should be par for the course for me at this point as much as I wish they were not. So, just for the hell of it, here’s some of the times people have taken what have been obvious jokes of mine way to seriously. And I will admit that this journal was slightly inspired by PolarSaurusRex’s video on people who took his memes two seriously so credit to him and his video.

Top 10 Most Over-rated Games Ever

I wanted to start this off with probably one of my favourite examples of someone not getting an obvious joke. For April Fool day back in 2022 I decided to make a list of the Top 10 Most Over-rated Games Ever. Out of all the April Fools day jokes I’ve ever done this one was probably the one I had the most fun doing for a few reasons.

1; I actually REALLY hate calling something “over-rated.” Anytime I’ve ever seen someone call one thing or another overrated they always have some of the most fickle justifications for saying it. Such as saying that people only like the thing because it’s popular or saying that something else similar to it is better or that it’s aged horribly (which isn’t a completely unfair thing to say as there are plenty of games that HAVE aged horribly but that’s really not a good reason to say something is over-rated to me.) So, it seemed perfect for an April Fools day joke. Me making fun of a phrase I can’t stand by playing an over exaggerated characterchure.

2; This was actually my top 10 favourite games of all time, but I was just talking about them from the perspective of someone who absolutely hated them! Something that really should have been obvious to anyone who has been following me for a long time especially considering I put Devil May Cry at number one on this list which is a game I have gone on record on multiple occasions before and after this joke that is my absolute favourite game of all time and put Shantae and the Pirates Curse at number 2 on this list despite how much the character means to me to the point where I ship my self insert with her. Well, someone didn’t get the hint.

Now this is an amusing comment for me to get not just because I’ve said in the past that Shantae and the Pirates Curse is another one of my favourite games of all but also because just one look at my gallery would tell you that I do have a love for Shantae. At the time I wrote this April Fools day joke I had gotten TEN commissions relating to the Shantae series and if you wanna count comms of Thayla since she is a Shantae OC of mine then that total would be raised to 13! At least three of them were of Shantae herself and at the time this was written I was having a Shantae X Helluva Boss based comm being worked on for me two of Verosika dressed as Shantae based of the fact they shared a voice actress.

The worst part? The person who commented this actually had been following me for years now! I mean obviously I’m blacking out the names of the comments I show here because I don’t want people to go after them since this isn’t intended as a personal attack on anyone and I’m just poking fun at people not being able to get a joke but still, they should of known that this was an April Fools day joke. Especially since a few months before this, back when I was regularly doing game reviews, I did a review on Pirates Curse where not only did I praise it for a lot of reasons but also went into the more personal side of why this was one of my favourite games ever thanks to some of the shit that was going on in my personal life like it being my final year of High School when I first played it and my mother breaking up with her boyfriend forcing us to move and even without the context of how much this series means to me as a whole, the way I talked about Pirates Curse in this post should have been the first indicator I wasn’t meaning ANY of what I was saying. Seriously, read this whole section I wrote on Pirates Curse. Does this sound like something I’d write and mean?

Everything Wrong With BellmoTheGreat Vol 2

Speaking of obvious April Fools day jokes… kinda. Okay to be technical for a second this post itself wasn’t an April Fools day joke but rather it WAS a sequel to something I made as an April Fools day joke. I’ve mentioned this in the past but one of my favourite channels back in the mid 2010’s was Cinema Sins as well a lot of the channels that followed their style because I genuinely found those videos funny. I don’t anymore! And for good reason two! Even with that said, there was one video of Cinema Sins I actually loved the most from them, there Everything Wrong With video on… THEMSELVES! On June 8th 2013 they made a video poking fun at themselves and it was genuinely a pretty funny video to me. (Well except for the “the books don’t matter” part at least.) It was a self-deprecating video poking fun at themselves and honestly, having a laugh towards yourself is kind of fun at times. And then they made a sequel in 2019 which was a passive aggressive response to all the criticism they had gained over the years and wasn’t as funny.

So, for April Fools in 2021 I decided to do a similar sort of journal but on myself poking fun at myself. And then in late 2023, out of boredom I decided “You know what? It could be fun to do another one like that just for the hell of it.” So I did. And despite it not being an April Fools day joke this time around it was still pretty obvious I was making this for the sake of harmlessly poking fun at myself.

It was not obvious to this guy though.

Yeah, other than him not getting this journal was sarcasm I really don’t know how I’m even meant to interpret this one because the grammar is all over the place. No full stops and The Only Words That Are Capitalized Don’t Even Need To Be Capitalized In The First Place. There’s not understanding an obvious joke, and then there’s this. Like, how do you even react to this one?

Seriously, what did I do wrong with this one? Did I NOT make it obvious enough that this was a joke? Was it two on the nose? I will admit, looking back, some of the stuff I wrote poking fun at myself might of been a bit on the nose but this was never really meant to be a serious thing anyway.

Again, this was just something I decided to do one day out of boredom and something I did out of fun. Kinda like this whole journal actually lol. Of course it was going to be goofy and silly! It’s kind of a shame I literally have to spell this out for some people.

Hitler Reacts to the Fallout 4 Trailer

So I wanted to end this one on a bit of an ancient joke of mine. I’ve been wanting to talk about this part of my life for a long time now so here it is. There was a point in time where I use to make Hitler Rants parodies. I found other videos people did of this kind of thing funny and wanted to try my hand at my own. And for a majority of 2015 I did just that alongside doing stuff with my Pony OC’s using pre made bases. They were honestly really fun and I had a blast doing them. Granted a lot of my stuff wouldn’t get a WHOLE lot of views especially considering I was working with Windows Movie Maker (and still am for some of my memes) but occasionally I would get a few things that surpassed 1000 views. However, there was one video in particular of mine that really took off and surprised even me with how much attention it got. My video of Hitler Reacting to the Fallout 4 trailer.

For context, the trailer had JUST come out around this time so hype for Fallout 4 was at its peak. And well, I happened to have a friend who really liked the Fallout franchise. And when I told him I was working on a video of Hitler and the gang reacting to the trailer, he was more than willing to help. He wrote some of the dialogue, we got to work putting it together and soon I uploaded to Youtube for 27,000+ people to watch. And it did quite well to my surprise. I mean it’s not my most viewed video on my channel anymore, that honour goes to my video of the French dub of the Hazbin Hotel Pilot but only when Alastor speaks which not only has 642k views at the time of me writing this but I somehow STILL get comments on even 3 years latter but I was still pleasantly surprised with the attention my Fallout 4 Trailer video got.

What also came to my surprise was some of the comments I got on this video...

Yeah, despite the fact that this was a parody video and was a style of parody video that had been around for quite a long time now, I got quite a few comments of people not understanding that it was a joke. It was mainly because of this part of the video here which was one of the things my friend helped write.

And I’m gonna be honest, up to this point I’ve been treating most of the comments I’ve gotten on the previous jokes in a joking manner but this one? … Okay well I still am but forgive me for getting serious here and vent for a moment because I have A LOT to say relating to this.

1; I, as in me the person writing this, NEVER said that I think Fallout 3 had a better plot than New Vegas. That was the characters in the video saying that. Yes, what some characters can say in any work of fiction, parody or otherwise, CAN be influenced by the creators’ personal views but not EVERY bit of art is like that. Some people just want to create something for the hell of it and this was one of them. I wanted to create this just because I wanted to and it does NOT represent my actual thoughts on the Fallout series. I mean, are we really going to pretend like there is some super deep reason as to why 2B in NieR Automata looks the way she does when Yoko Taro has already stated the reason for her design is because he said “I just like drawing girls?” This is what bothers me about media criticism nowadays. You can’t just accept that something it being made the way it is because the creator thought it’d be fun or cool. You have to look deep into that thing and come up with a bunch of conspiracy theories about it. And for the record, I love New Vegas! I really do!

2; Did I mention yet that that line wasn’t even written by me and was written by my friend who was a much bigger Fallout fan than me at the time? Because this line was written by my friend yet most of these comments were directed at me personally. I even say I had help making this video in the description and when you have multiple people working on the same project often with different ideas it can show.

3; Even if I didn’t love New Vegas as much as I do now and I really did prefer 3 or even 4 over it, would that really matter? No seriously, would it? I’ll give you a hint. No. No it would not! In fact, there are plenty of reasons why someone might prefer 3 or 4 over New Vegas. 3’s story feels a lot more personal since it’s about finding your dad, they might prefer the more run down and end of days atmosphere of 3 over the Wild West inspired one of New Vegas, they might prefer the companions you can get in 3 over the ones in New Vegas, maybe they just like the side quests more, maybe they might like how you can actually customize the theme of your player home, the weapons, the characters, the fact that you can continue playing the game even after the final main story mission. Yeah, you need the Broken Steel DLC to even do that but considering the Game of the Year edition of Fallout 3 is super cheep online nowadays anyway and comes with all of the DLC pre-installed unless you are seeking out the base game release without the DLC almost everyone’s gonna have that. And that would be okay if those reasons are why one prefers 3, because we all have a little thing you might of heard of called opinions and personal taste!

This is something I hate about fandom. Not just the Fallout fandom in particular but EVERY fandom and community on the internet. Your always expected to think like a hive mind and the moment you have any sort of different opinion or open up about enjoying something that’s not as well loved you get made fun off or told by people in extensive detail about how the thing your enjoying is “objectively” bad and never let you just enjoy what you enjoy or try to gatekeep people or say that your “not a real fan.” And it’s annoying. Like actually, really annoying! Oh what’s that? Someone is enjoying a game/movie/episode you don’t personally like? And they have their own perfectly valid reasons for liking it even though you don’t like it yourself? Who gives a shit? They like it, you don’t! You’re a grown adult! Get over it! Let people enjoy things. It’s embarrassing you have to act like this.

I fucking hate the internet sometimes if you couldn’t tell.

There are probably more examples of times people have taken my jokes seriously, I’ve been fucking around for years at this point on sites like this, but I just wanted to talk about some of the ones that live rent free in my mind because hot dam do I love poking fun at people who get angry over nothing. I just can’t wait to see what joke of mine people decided to take two seriously next. Or maybe those kinds of people will stumble upon this and realize that most of what I say can be a joke sometimes. God, one can only hope!

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josie69am · 2 years ago

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About to be a bit of an advanced hater but here goes

I wish they'd just release the sonic dating sim normally instead of as a joke. Is the joke the fact that it is a dating sim/vn?

April fool's in the US is always a little off to me cause I don't write stuff off as a category like all vn stupid or puzzle game stupid (also hmm I wonder why the entire game categories that are associated with femme player bases are usually socially written off as not real games) It's especially annoying with food sometimes cause people are so adverse to anything slightly out of the USA white norm of food that like sometimes the joke item is just.. a food that exists somewhere else and people are like only willing to entertain something slightly different as a joke. Isn't it exhausting to only let oneself enjoy something different or experimental in this context

But it's also seemingly the one time a lot of white Americans are allowed to give themselves and others space. often times I stg people are just being perfomative about how something is bad or gross and then everyone else being perfomative about it reinforces to everyone doing that that it is without trying it. But it's like seemingly only under these circumstances people are open to trying something slightly out of their comfort zone without writing it off as having no value or stupid inherently because of the category of product it falls under and distance from white American "normal"

Let yourself like stuff aren't you exhausted by feigning outrage every time and only allowing this time of year to be the only time to try things outside of the norm... This is a prison of one's own making

Also if this doesn't apply to you cool, but there are people who are like this and I think they'd be happier because they would have more things they enjoy at the end of the day if they didn't write off entire categories of things. Those categories of "thing that is bad" are often incredibly different from each other like back to games for example I would t just recommend any vn id need to know what kinda shit youre into before doing that.

#ramble #personal #ignore me im aware this is just me being annoying online about being annoyed

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primofate · 3 years ago

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OSFISJWJ YES YES YES IVE BEEN WAITING FOR THIS MOMENT I love your writing sm!! You should be proud of it >:(

Can I request reader(any gender you like) to like play a break up prank on the genshin boys? If it's too much you can choose whatever characters you want! I prefer angst to fluff but it's up to you!

Not gonna give too much restrictions so go wild with it!!

Liked this one so I did all of them. lmao. Thanks anon.

Scenario: Break up prank on your Genshin boyfriends

Characters: Aether, Albedo, Ayato, Bennett, Chongyun, Dainsleif, Diluc, Gorou, Itto, Kaeya, Kazuha, Razor, Scaramouche, Tartaglia, Thoma, Venti, Xiao, Xingqiu, Zhongli, gn!reader

Warnings: slight elements of crackfic, mild angst to comfort, some of these might be a little yandere? used April Fools as an excuse, I don’t actually like playing these kinds of pranks but it’s pretty fun to write, I don’t suggest you do it in real life (but I know a lot of people do, haha. You do you, no judgement here) If my husband pulled this on me I’d go feral, poor him.

Personal favourites in this work: Bennett, Ayato, Dainsleif

What you said

“Have you got some time today...? I just wanted to talk to you about something important. You should probably sit down...Uhm...So...lately...I just feel like things aren’t going too well with the two of us...I just...Maybe we’re not a good match? What I’m saying is...It’s probably best if we part ways here,”

Aether

already gets the “oh crap” vibes as soon as you say you need to talk about something important.

The moment he sits down, his body language tells you he’s incredibly tense and nervous. Hands closed up into fists, brows furrowed, leaning forward to listen to you closely.

It doesn’t really hit him that fast and he has this blank look on his face until you stand up to leave--that’s when he snatches at your wrist.

“W-Wait,” he’s both confused and cautious. Like what he says next might change the whole thing. “Did I--Did I do something wrong? Cause if I did I--” he gulps the lump that’s forming in his throat and his eyes are getting misty. “I’ll make it right, I promise,”

“Oh gosh, Aether, I’m so sorry, it’s just a prank! I’m just joking! I know it’s stupid, but um...April Fools!”

His whole body slumps backwards on the chair while heaving a huge sigh of relief, head lolling backwards. He can only mutter “Y/N don’t do that again...” with a voice that’s a little wobbly.

Give him lots of kisses after please

Albedo

Does not get the vibe you’re trying to give at all.

He actually thought it was something practically “important” like how you might not have enough firewood for the next few days up on Dragonspine. (Yes that merits a serious conversation for him)

When you get to the part where you say you’re not a good match his head tilts the slightest bit sideways but his expression is still blank.

He doesn’t hear the rest of your sentences after that because he’s trying to go through his memories of the past few days and wondering if something was amiss.

He can’t come up with a conclusion because everything was normal up until today.

But he’ll still respect your decision

He’ll look down solemnly at his hands, “...Being with you... was a great privilege.” his hands start to grasp at each other when it sinks in that you want to leave the relationship. “Perhaps you’ll find a better match than I could ever be,”

Basically you’ve struck his secret insecurity that he might not be good enough for you.

Get down on your knees and apologize this instant!!!!!!

“Oh, Albedo... That’s not... It’s just a joke, it’s April Fools today dear... Do you really think that way? I’m so sorry...”

Cue a long conversation that got deep because of a prank. You reassure him he’s more than enough for you and you don’t stop telling him all the wonderful things you love about him until his eyes subtly light up again.

that might have backfired on you.

Ayato

He’s so used to business negotiations or the ‘sit down and lets talk business’ scenario so he didn’t think much of it.

He listens closely. I mean CLOSELY. It’s his job to negotiate with others so he has to clearly listen to what all the parties have to say for themselves.

When you get to the “maybe we’re not a good match part” he lifts a hand to his chin and lets out a hum.

He closes his eyes for a moment, his face is still calm, like he heard nothing at all. But then he decides to question YOU. “You say that we’re not a good match. Though, you say it with uncertainty,” smiles pleasantly at you “Care to tell me the reasons why you think we aren’t a good match, dove?”

You really thought you could argue with this guy lmao

So you grasp at straws and tell him the first thing you can think of. “W-Well... You’re an important man and I’m...just plain old me,” you laugh nervously because you’ve accidentally opened up about your honest insecurity.

But he considers that seriously. He asks you another question, “But do you love me?”

“Yes?”

“And I feel the same way. Where there is true love, nothing should be allowed to stand in its way...On the contrary, my love, you’re far from plain,” his hand moves away from his chin to graze his fingertips on your cheek. “You are...quite extraordinary. I only wish you could see yourself through my eyes,”

You’ve forgotten that you played a prank and just fell harder for the guy

No but he definitely knew something was up anyway.

Bennett

He thought that you just wanted to say you didn’t wanna join his adventure team anymore

So when you finish your whole speech his mouth is left slightly agape and he’s staring at you trying to process the moment.

“...I-It’s just the adventuring, right? If you’re tired of going out all the time you can always rest up! That’s no big deal! I can go by myself from time to time!” He raises a fist to pump himself up but he only manages a small, uncertain smile.

“No? That’s not it? Oh...” His whole mood goes down and it’s like a gloomy cloud has set atop his head.

“Well... I was thinking my luck was running out anyway... You know? Hehe,” He still picks his head up and scratches the back of it with a wobbly smile. “I mean, I’ve been so incredibly lucky all that time just spending it with you! I guess...that whole chunk of luck is just coming back at me with a whole chunk of bad...”

As a last effort, he gives you the brightest, still genuine smile that radiates love. “But it was great, it was really great! I loved it and...and...I love--” his voice breaks off at the end and he tries so hard not to cry and you quickly explain to him that it was all just a joke for April Fools.

“R-Really?” but his tears have already spilled out and is falling down his cheeks. He sniffles and wipes them dry while saying with a trying hard not to break voice “You--You really got me there!”

(Everytime I write for Bennett it always has something to do with his bad luck and adventuring. I’m sorry.)

Chongyun

Scared. Like literally hands trembling scared the moment you say it’s important in that serious voice.

Serious eyes that are boring into you as you speak. They slowly soften around the edges when you come to your conclusion.

It’s like his heart shatters. He’s a somewhat shy and reserved guy that takes a while to warm up, so it literally shakes his whole world when you, someone who had been so patient with him up until this point, wants to break up with him.

“I...” He wants to be mature and say he’ll accept your decision but he can’t even form the words.

“I understand,” but his eyes are already filling up with tears and they start to cascade down his cheeks even with him not blinking.

Has more of a physical response than a wordy response. Hands crumpling his pants as he grips at them and tries to keep his bearings.

You can’t take it and apologize immediately, wiping away his tears and telling him it’s all just a joke, but he continues crying, dips his head down, puts an arm to shield his eyes as he tries to get his composure back.

“S-Sorry, I...That really scared me...”

You’re mean.

Dainsleif (might contain 2.6 quest spoilers)

Troubled, because you rarely say that it’s something important. You don’t usually draw attention to yourself so when you say that it’s something of importance Dainsleif is all ears.

Dainsleif is...quite alone, in some senses. He doesn’t think that anyone should suffer with him, so accepting that you wanted to stay by his side was also a hard decision for him. He resisted for a long time, but eventually just realized you really wanted to be there for him.

So when you come around saying this, he’s almost offended, eyes narrowing at you “Where is this coming from?”

He just doesn’t get it and it doesn’t add up. His eyes searches yours and he’s not trying to be scary but he does exude some intimidating vibes. He’s merely trying to understand if he did something wrong or if you’ve always thought that the two of you were “not a good match”.

“...I don’t think that what you say is true...If so then you wouldn’t have insisted to stay with me,” and he starts to doubt whether or not he made the right decision, letting you accompany him to journey’s end.

You see the conflict and battle in his eyes and decide to just tell him it’s a prank without it getting too far.

He huffs and crosses his arms above his chest. “I thought so... You wouldn’t do something...so foolish,” his words are spaced out because there’s still a bit of doubt in him and you catch on to it, reassuring him that you don’t have any intention of leaving him at all.

He sighs and gingerly thumbs your cheek. “I can only hope so... This curse...This burden...I daresay it’s made easier with your presence. Let me be selfish this once and ask you to stay...”

Diluc

He trusts and knows you, so when you said it was something important he merely thought it was just you talking about being worried about his health again cause he works too hard (you often tell him that)

But when you start talking and get to the end of your speech he’s rather astounded and concerned more than anything.

“How long have you felt like that?” He takes this to a whole new level of serious now. Asking himself questions like ‘How did I not notice?’ ‘Which parts can I do better at?’ ‘Could we not have talked about this before it came to this conclusion?”

Reaches out with his hand to move your chin at an angle convenient for him. “Y/N, look at me. We should talk about these things before jumping to conclusions. A lot of things can be solved by talking,”

In truth he’s panicking a little inside. What if you don’t want to talk about it anymore? What if your mind is made up? What if that’s it?

“Is there anything we can do to make things better? Has my recent sleepless nights bothered you that much? I’ll change things around to make you comfortable. You’re right, it hasn’t really done much for my health...”

When you don’t reply to anything he says there’s a bit of defeat in his eyes and his shoulders slump a little. “Y/N please...” he just wants you to say something. Anything.

“U-Uhm...Well...April Fools!”

There’s 5 seconds of silence before he drops his hand from your chin and glares at you. It’s half mocking, half real and he stands up to walk away “I’m going back to work,”

Is a little salty but you follow him around all day and suck up to him saying sorry in a sweet way and that you’ll make it up to him.

(Okay, I wanted to use the Filipino word “lambing” just then. lmao. Is there an English equivalent, my Filo friends?)

Gorou

Military minded, so he doesn’t immediately think it’s about something personal.

When it dawns on him that it’s about something personal, and what more, it’s about your relationship with him, he freezes up. His ears stop twitching and his tail is frozen.

His body language changes, he suddenly doesn’t look so confident and his whole body droops. His ears start to flatten down.

“Were you...Were you really that unhappy? I didn’t even realize...” so much regret in his voice and he’s more worried about you than he is over himself.

“I’m sorry, it might be too late to ask now but, is there anything I can do? I’ll...try my best! I just... I just don’t agree...I think we ARE a great match! But if you don’t think so...” hesitates back and forth whether or not to see things your way or keep with his beliefs.

He really does think you’re the perfect companion to his otherwise busy life and you’re a delight to be around.

He doesn’t really say much about what he thinks, opting to think before talking but his look says it all and you apologize after telling him it was just a prank.

He blinks up at you. His ears start to twitch again and his tail swishes every so slowly. “O-Oh! I see!”

Breaks into a bashful, neck scratching grin. “R-Right! It’s April Fools! Wow, you got me good on that one,”

Doesn’t tell you that you basically broke his heart and mended it back together all in a span of a minute.

Is secretly 1000% more attentive towards you

Itto

The word “important” is not really in his vocabulary...Well, it is, but it’s linked with things like beetle fights and food.

So he thought you were just gunna talk beetle fight strategy with him. lol.

Has this huge smile on his face when you start talking and it just gradually droops into a deep frown.

Still tries to play it off. “Whaaaat? No way! We’re a great match! Remember that time we accidentally ordered the exact same thing for lunch, drinks and all? That was pretty cool!”

Grins but it falters when you don’t say anything. He finally properly thinks about you actually leaving him. “I--At least we can still be friends, right? I mean, who’s gunna hype me up during my beetle fights now? My gang...? Well, yeah... they’re great and all but...”

Lips start to tremble. “Th-They’re not you, you know? It’s different! Huh? No! It’s not just about the beetle fights!”

He has this puppy dog look on his face now “I mean, it’s all the other things too! Who-Who’s gunna kiss my hand better when I accidentally hit a boulder too hard? O-Or...”

Goes silent, then suddenly decides to man up...but in a childish way...

“Y-You know what! Fine! If that’s what you want then...then...” but can’t finish his sentence and his lips are really starting to tremble dangerously.

So you decide to put him out of his misery and tell him it’s a joke.

“April fools...?” He looks up at you, still trying to process it...and then he breaks into a watery eyed wide smile. “APRIL FOOLS!!!” like he just discovered something great.

He manages not to shed any tears but wraps his arms tight around your waist and snuggles into your stomach while he’s sitting down. “You can’t go for real, alright?”

Kaeya

Amused and intrigued in a “What do they have up their sleeve this time?” sort of way.

He crosses his arms midway through your speech and gives you this smirk while tilting his head sideways. As if challenging you.

“Oh dear, what an unfortunate problem we have here indeed,” he chuckles, but its not laced with humor, more of mischief.

“Not a good match you say?” He leaves his seat and saunters over to you fluidly, confidently wrapping an arm around your waist and dipping his head lower, to come face to face and almost forehead to forehead with you.

“Look me in the eye and tell me that again, kitten,” he breathes out and you have a hard time repeating your words at the sudden proximity.

“There isn’t a better match for me anywhere in this world, Y/N. I’m afraid you’ll have to try harder than that to get rid of me,” he chuckles genuinely this time, as if thoroughly amused.

You finally tell him it’s an April Fool’s joke and he just shrugs. “I figured. I’d like to think I’ve taken good enough care of you to make you stay for a lifetime, love.”

He presses a kiss on your forehead, “Now to worry about charming you in the next one,” and he winks.

Kazuha

calm, curious with a bit of an optimistic view. The type to go “I wonder what they want to tell me today,” but smile at the thought rather than be overly worried about it.

So when he hears your speech, he’s taken aback. You sound so serious too! Is it a mistake? Maybe a joke? But you wouldn’t joke about this, would you?

He’s been lost in thought for a while so you ask him if he heard you.

He places his gaze on you with a small smile. “My apologies, dear,” he’s still calm about it but he’s secretly thinking of ways to solve this without having you walk away.

“I’m afraid I’ll have to learn about your thought process a little more. What aspect do you feel is “not going too well”, if you mind me asking?”

You answer generically and tell him that you feel like he’s too good for you and that he’s extremely kind and loving while you’re not really able to contribute or give him anything.

His eyes widen for a fraction of a second but mellows off to a gentle gaze. “...You have done...a thousand more than I have for you, my love,” He closes his eyes, as if he’s sailing on a ship peacefully. “You’ve kept the nightmares away, the...solitude that used to visit me every night. Instead of waiting for the day to end, with you, I always look forward to its beginning instead,”

He opens his eyes and you see that they’re a little glassy. “So if you could just find it in your heart to reconsider, Y/N, perhaps we can work it through?”

He’s still polite than ever and you tell him it’s just a joke. His face stays passive, but he actually breathes out a sigh of relief. “Ah...I see...It’s that day today...”

He finally finds it in him to chuckle. “Well, I must say that you caught me unprepared for that one,”

Razor

You hesitate to even try and do this to him because explaining what you want to say and then telling him it’s a joke sounds to be something that might be gravely misunderstood by him.

But he understands and the moment you finish talking you can already see his face contort into a wince. Like something had just stabbed him painfully in the gut.

His face scrunches up but he bows his head to hide it from you and tears just non-stop cascade from his eyes to the ground.

“I...n-never see... Y/N again?”

The poor thing is more of an action than words type of person and it shows easily that he’s upset.

You immediately hug him and try to explain to him the occasion today but he still pouts and is slightly upset the rest of the day, complaining about how it’s not a good joke at all.

You agree with him and ask how you can make it up to him.

He simply asks you to stay forever.

Scaramouche

unbothered. sits down as if he’s the boss of the conversation and just stares at you through the whole thing.

When you finish, he smirks.

And it’s not just a normal smirk. It’s the go-ahead-and-try-running-away-from-me-im-just-gunna-pull-you-right-back-over smirk.

“Who put that nonsense into your head?” Raises an eyebrow and gazes at you, wondering if someone has told you that dating him was a bad idea or some crap like that. (He doesn’t deny that it’s a bad idea but you’ve stuck with him for a while now and you suddenly saying that is weird and extremely annoying to him)

He’s basically pissed off.

“Tch, go ahead if that’s what you want,” then attempts to stand and ignore you to walk away. You stop him and gape up at him. “What? That’s it? You’re just gunna walk away?”

He raises his eyebrow at you again. “I don’t have time to be playing these types of games, Y/N. If you don’t want to stay, then go,”

In truth he might be a little, teeny, tiny, secretly hurt inside and is salty.

You huff and tell him “It’s an April Fools joke!”

He stares at you for a good moment, then flicks your forehead really, REALLY hard. “Owww! What’s that for??”

He scoffs “For thinking of a stupid joke like that, and to remind you who you belong to, fool,” before walking away.

Turns back 5 seconds later and snatches your hand to pull you along with him.

Tartaglia

More curious than worried. So he sits down with that slight wide-eyed, ‘I’m all ears’ type of look.

He blinks and looks at you incredulously as you finish. Then, a laugh escapes his lips. It’s a strange laugh. A mixture of amused, dark and forced.

“Darling you’re...joking, right?” has a pleasant smile on his face but you can’t tell what he’s thinking.

He’s probably thinking of some ways to keep you with him, no matter the method and then he suddenly feels sentimental, thinking about that time you visited his family with him and his siblings loved you to death.

You haven’t said anything so he continues down that hole and proceeds to think about how long it took him to find someone who embraced his craziness and chaotic life like you did.

He gets a little fidgety and instead of actually wanting to force you to stay he gives you the respect he thinks you deserves. “Y/N I... I understand it well... I don’t want you to be caught up in certain things either but...Just let me tie up some loose ends and maybe...”

but then he knows it in himself than being with him might cause a lot of trouble for you, he doesn’t really know what’ll happen in the future, what with his affiliation with the Fatui and the Abyss.

“...I promise I’ll protect you,” he doesn’t beg for you to stay but he looks at you with pleading eyes. So you tell him it’s an April Fools joke.

He blinks and opens his mouth to say something, but then closes it again. Doesn’t know whether to feel sad or annoyed but in the end he sighs and gives you a grin. “A joke like that deserves some sort of punishment, love. Let’s see... what would be a fitting one,”

He looks like he’s having fun all of a sudden.

Thoma

Definitely worried to the point of anxiousness.

Thoma is used to multi-tasking, he always has a few things in his mind that he needs to juggle but when you say something like that he might be the type to not be able to focus on anything until you finally have the conversation.

He’s stunned when he hears your whole statement and definitely turns sullen. He suddenly starts to think about your time together, from the first date all up until today, it’s been a long journey and he begins to imagine walking through life without you.

He gets goosebumps at the thought of it. “I...I don’t think I can...live that way,” he gulps and continues. “Excuse me if this is too heavy of a statement for you but...I’ve always thought of you as the one I’d spend my whole life with, just suddenly losing that isn’t...”

It’s like your life with him just flashes by in his eyes, remembering all the good times, the smiles, the laughs and just the limitless love he has for you. “...I can’t accept it just like that... I don’t have the right to ask you to stay and you can walk away but...” and he gazes at you with extreme determination. “...but I’ll come looking for you again, and I’ll prove to you that there isn’t anyone else in this world that I’d rather be with,”

He smiles but it’s rather downtrodden and painful. “It’ll always be you, Y/N,”

Cue you telling him it’s a joke “Ahaha...Well... April Fools!”

He immediately slumps forward and buries his face in his hands and gives a deep sigh. You repeatedly apologize as he does this.

He straightens up after a moment and gives you his sternest look ever (it just looks like he’s scolding you but he’s not very menacing at all because he’s a little teary eyed.)

“Out of all the things you could joke about...” he sighs again but draws you in and smiles tenderly, instantly forgiving you. “Just a kiss from you, love, and I’ll forget about it,”

Venti

Hears the word “important” and thinks that this might be a conversation that needs dandelion wine.

“Okay!” Still has that playful lilt to his voice, but will take it as seriously as he can.

He listens to what you have to say and he becomes quiet. His smile disappears and he moves his gaze away from you towards somewhere faraway. “...You know, Y/N... Mondstadt is the City of Freedom,”

He’s unusually soft and quiet when speaking, a serious undertone to his voice. “I’ve seen...all of you. The good, the bad... I may be a God, but I’m the God of Freedom so asking you to stay is...not something I can do, even if I want to,”

Nods his head optimistically with a smile that looks genuine, “Besides, someone as special as you...the world deserves to see it. Keeping you by my side...they’re missing out on a lot, ehe,”

He does sound sincere and doesn’t sound bitter about it at all but you can’t help but feel sad about it. You apologized and tell him it’s a joke for April Fools.

He’s surprised, but mostly because he nearly felt as if tears were upon him and it’d been a long time since he shed tears.

But he emphasizes that he’s not joking and if there ever came a time that you’d really like to go, you’re free to do so.

You remind him that you don’t want to and he finally gets his usual laugh back.

“Well for that, you owe me a lifetime’s supply of dandelion wine!”

He’s looking forward to the “lifetime” part more than the “dandelion wine” part.

Xiao

This is someone who usually doesn’t open up to people, but he did for you and you’re coming around telling him you don’t want to be together anymore after he’s lowered down all his walls. Think about that.

He gets angry and it’s obvious. His eyebrows are drawn together and there’s a scowl on his face. He feels utterly betrayed. Thousands of years he decided to shelter himself because he thought that associating with others would bring them no good, and the one time he accepts someone in, they go barreling right out just as easily as that.

“What emotion does it stir in you, when you make crass statements like that?” you can practically feel the disappointment radiating off of him.

“It didn’t mean a thing to you, the burden I shared... The sides of me that...I’ve forgotten was ever there,” he curls his fist tight “I should’ve known...”

Oh, man, you might have messed up playing that prank on him but you immediately drop it and tell him it’s an April Fools joke.

He recognizes the event cause he’s heard people talking about it before but he definitely disappears and doesn’t show up in front of you for the rest of the day.

Knowing Xiao, you give him his space and eventually he seeks you out again but you’re terribly guilty once that happens and you apologize to him profusely.

He stays silent and hums a little, drawing you in for a one armed embrace muttering about the foolish pranks mortals play on each other.

“...My karmic debt is incredibly heavy, Y/N... yet...the thought of losing you...seemed heavier than the karmic debt I’ve carried for years.”

Xingqiu

Just a simple curiosity. Wondering what might be so important.

He’s at a loss of words when you finish, the book he’s holding slips from his grasp and he’s weirdly unable to form proper words.

He adores you, and suddenly getting told this is like a splash of water to his face.

“Is it--Is there--” he pauses and clears his throat to get his composure back. “Is there something unsatisfactory? Perhaps...” he doesn’t even know what to say, he genuinely thought the two of you had enjoyed each other’s company up till today. “Perhaps I...have overlooked something? I’d be more than willing to discuss it,”

When you say it’s not that and you just think the relationship has run its course he’s back to being speechless.

“N...No? But...” there were no signs at all, he wanted to say and he was confident that he would’ve been able to spot it if there were any signs. “...I might not be the...most likeable person... but I assure you that with me, you’ll always come first,”

You tell him its a joke and he immediately relaxes, he kind of sensed that there was something weird about the suddenness of it anyway. It was too out of the blue.

However, he coughs into his hand to hide his embarrassment and asks you to make it up to him. You ask him how and he hands you the book he dropped. “Read this to me, will you, my sunshine?”

Zhongli

He puts great value in the things you say, so when you say it’s important he merely takes it as a sign to be more attentive.

You finish and you cannot read any expression on his face whatsoever. However, he seems to have stopped drinking his tea and is in deep thought, looking away from you and over to the teapot, just keeping his gaze there.

“...Zhongli?” You softly call him back and his eyes fly towards you.

“Mm,” he simply lets out, and closes his eyes. “Might I tell you how I feel about this, Y/N?”

You nod your head and let him speak.

“I...was under the impression that everything had been progressing well, between the two of us...” he touches the rim of his teacup but doesn’t put it up to his lips. “I apologize, if that hadn’t been the case on your side...and I apologize further that...you seem to be unhappy with the current state of things...”

He closes his eyes and continues, “...Truthfully, I would not like it to end this easily... Your importance to me is far higher than that of just a few words... Beloved, if you’re not opposed to it... allow me to work through this a little longer with you...”

He opens his eyes again and there isn’t anything there but respect and gentleness. You can’t help but smile and apologize to him, telling him it’s a joke.

He doesn’t breathe out any sigh of relief but on closer look, his shoulders relax and he goes back to lifting his tea cup to his lips and gets a big gulp out of it. “Ah, I see...I’ve forgotten the occasion today...” seems to brush it off but adds after a few seconds later “But if there is something amiss, do not make a habit of keeping it to yourself, darling,”

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gayteensupreme · 3 years ago

Text

*slightly bad southern accent impression*

now that r/place is over, im gonna tell y'all a little story.

back in r/place, all sorts of different communities banded together to leave their own mark on the canvas. Some of these communities were larger than others, and most often, the larger communities won.

Now, let me be clear here - size did not always equal popularity. Indeed, the community this story concerns was based around a very famous, prevalent band active from the 70s to the 90s. But the community's presence itself on r/place, was very small in comparison to some others.

I am of course referring to the group that characterized themselves as fans of the band Talking Heads. I was one of those folks, and right now I'm tellin' you you're in for a pretty good tale. Maybe not the most exciting, maybe not the most interesting - but I like to think it's at the very least somewhat inspiring.

Now, take a look at this here image.

At 18:10, at the coordinates 704,178, we had created this pixel rendition of the words "Talking Heads" in white, against a blue background. It was something like 12 pixels high at its widest point.

By 22:52, we had turned those letters black and put it against a horizontally split red and white background, like the album cover art of True Stories. It looked good. We had done it.

But then - Moldova struck. All so they could make their already massive flag just a little bigger.

The damage was irreparable. We Talking Heads fans had to say goodbye. But we vowed we would be back. We vowed to persevere, and never give up.

And then, at 56, at the coordinates 538,1371, we found our new home. And we began to return.

By 69:35, after many a long battle, we had finally created a true space for us.

It was incredible. The True Stories cover art up top, with the A's upside-down in a nod to the album art of Remain In Light - which was featured in a much smaller pixel art below True Stories, to the right of the cover of Speaking in Tongues, with the famous lamp from the Stop Making Sense concert in-between them.

And below Speaking in Tongues, a glorious, yet small pixel rendition of David Byrne wearing the big suit.

This artwork was not large, not by any means at all. It was around 43 pixels high, by my count, and at its widest point - only around 29 pixels.

But it was home for us Talking Heads fans. And home was were we wanted to be. And we all shared a variation of the same thought:

"This must be the r/place."

But alas, all good things come to an end.

at 81:52, we had been griefed into the "Talking Deads", with the red becoming green and Big Suit David Byrne becoming deleted entirely.

And then of course, after that, the only colour that could be placed was white, and the canvas reverted to its original state.

But this story, like many other stories of r/place, was never supposed to be a story about longevity, or great success, or anything of the sort. It was about a group of people who came together to create something, to show to the world what they cared about enough to slap on a stupid April Fool's joke hosted by a forum and discussion website, just because they thought they should give it a shot.

And these people cared about Talking Heads.

#talking heads #place #r/place #reddit #talking heads place #talking heads r/place #talking heads reddit #r/talking heads #i dont know why i wrote this but i did so here you go #enjoy #i guess

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lovelybarnes · 4 years ago

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requests

request guidelines

how to request:

give me the number and letter sequence attached to the quote/prompt and for who you want it. if you have an idea, let me know and with who! (i tried to make this easy and easier to do, i am so sorry if this didn’t work)

example: person a painting person b’s nails because they’re hurt and “will you paint my nails? “PF10 + DF56 with bucky barnes please!!”

prompts

fluff

og posts: otp prompts, physical affection prompts

(PF1) person a reading to person b

(PF2) walking home in the rain

(PF3) person a giving person b their coat

(PF4) person a braiding person b’s hair

(PF5) person a learning to braid person b’s hair

(PF6) person a carrying around scrunchies and hair ties for person b

(PF7) person a playing with person b’s hair

(PF8) person a doing person b’s makeup

(PF9) painting each other’s nails

(PF10) person a painting person b’s nails because they’re hurt

(PF11) solving crimes

(PF12) committing crimes

(PF13) baking together

(PF14) cooking together

(PF15) person a bringing person b their favorite drink

(PF16) person a giving person b a stuffed animal and finding them sleeping with it years later

(PF17) person a sleeping with person b’s shirt

(PF18) person a making their pillow smell like person b when they’re away

(PF19) writing each other letters

(PF20) too long hugs

(PF21) person a tugging the bottom of person b’s shirt

(PF22) person a wiping food away from person b’s lips

(PF23) running hugs

(PF24) jumping hugs

(PF25) person a squishing person b’s cheeks

(PF26) person a wiping person b’s tears away

(PF27) person a comforting person b after a nightmare

(PF28) person a lifting person b up out of excitement

(PF29) incredibly loud and painful high five

(PF30) person a accidentally knocking their head into person b’s chin

(PF31) confusing a handshake for a fist bump or hug

(PF32) person a won’t let person b out of bed by cuddling them

(PF33) person a making funny faces until person b notices and laughs

(PF34) person a has a cast, and person b is doodling on it to cheer them up

kiss prompts

og posts: otp prompts, physical affection prompts

(PK1) sleepy kisses

(PK2) head kisses

(PK3) shoulder kisses

(PK4) forehead kisses

(PK5) kisses because of time apart

(PK6) knuckle kisses

(PK7) person a peppering kisses all over person b’s face

(PK8) prize kisses

(PK9) kissing scars, bruises, scratches, etc.

humor

(PH1) truth serum

(PH2) person a and b stranded on a raft in the middle of a lake

(PH3) person a posts a picture of person b and it becomes a meme

(PH4) person a and b stuck on a ferris wheel

soulmate au prompts

dialogue

fluff

og posts: prompt list, prompt list, 170 dialogue prompts, 200 prompts

(DF1) “you sleep cute.“

(DF2) “will you marry me?“

(DF3) “marry me.“

(DF4) “you fell asleep, i couldn’t move.“

(DF5) “i wish i could kiss away all your scars.“

(DF6) “i think i’m falling in love with you.“

(DF7) “it’s okay to cry.“

(DF8) “you’re so warm.“

(DF9) “is that my shirt?“

(DF10) “breathe.“

(DF11) “be safe.”

(DF12) “you’re okay.”

(DF13) “you’re safe.”

(DF14) “everything is going to be okay.”

(DF15) “trade with me, yours looks better.”

(DF16) “cuddle with me.”

(DF17) “is that my shirt?”

(DF18) “that looks better on you than on me.”

(DF19) “hands off the merchandise, babe.”

(DF20) “it’s like my boyfriend is a child.”

(DF21) “let me play with your hair.”

(DF22) “your hair is so soft.”

(DF23) “can i braid your hair?”

(DF24) “i learned how to do it for you.”

(DF25) “braid my hair? you do it so much better.”

(DF26) “i missed you so much.”

(DF27) “so what if i’m whipped?”

(DF28) “my mom wants to know when we’re having kids.”

(DF29) “move in with me.”

(DF30) “i think you’re my soulmate.”

(DF31) “maybe if you stop staring at her and actually talk to her, you might have a chance.”

(DF32) “breathe with me.”

(DF33) “did you just call me your boyfriend/girlfriend?”

(DF34) “did you just call me babe?”

(DF35) “they love me?”

(DF36) “are you single?”

(DF37) “are you throwing rocks at my window?”

(DF38) “you are so amazing. i don’t know how i got so lucky.”

(DF39) “is that mine?”

(DF40) “don’t cry!”

(DF41) “are you going to cry? please don’t cry.”

(DF42) “i’m yours.”

(DF43) “you’re mine.”

(DF44) “you have the prettiest eyes.”

(DF45) “you’re my hero.”

(DF46) “you came!”

(DF47) “i hate everyone except you.”

(DF48) “can you just hold me?”

(DF49) “i honestly just wanted to hold your hand.”

(DF50) “i fell in love with you the moment i saw you.”

(DF51) “you’re a goddess and deserve to be treated like one.”

(DF52) “is that a puppy?”

(DF53) “i just need you.”

(DF54) “you’re really cute.”

(DF55) “god, you’re adorable.”

(DF56) “will you paint my nails?”

angst

og posts: prompt list, prompt list, 170 dialogue prompts, 200 prompts

(DA1) “what is your problem?“

(DA2) “you’re scaring me!”

(DA3) “you’re too late.”

(DA4) “it’s too late.”

(DA5) “sorry doesn’t fix everything.”

(DA6) “you just flinched.”

(DA7) “why did you flinch?”

(DA8) “you can’t save everyone.”

(DA9) “you can’t save me.”

(DA10) “you left me!”

(DA11) “you don’t get to say sorry anymore!”

(DA12) “there’s so much blood.”

(DA13) “you have to make it.”

(DA14) “come back to me.”

(DA15) “choose. them or me.”

(DA16) “are you mad at me?”

(DA17) “you didn’t think about me at all?”

(DA18) “touch me, and i’ll chop your hand off.”

(DA19) “touch her, and i’ll murder you.”

(DA20) “i’m not the bad guy here.”

(DA21) “put down the knife.”

(DA22) “something is wrong.”

(DA23) “i wasn’t enough for you, you made that clear.”

(DA24) “they left me.”

(DA25) “they’re in love with someone else.”

(DA26) “please don’t leave me.”

(DA27) “please don’t take them.”

(DA28) “my parent misses you.”

(DA29) “i got stood up.”

(DA30) “i’m not one of the good guys.”

(DA31) “where did you get those bruises?”

(DA32) “are those bruises?”

humor

og posts: sentence starters, 200 prompts

(DH1) “what the hell did you just drink/eat?“

(DH2) “what the hell did i just drink/eat?”

(DH3) “i don’t think that’s edible.”

(DH4) “everything is edible at least once.”

(DH5) “i don’t think you were supposed to eat that.”

(DH6) “that is... definitely there.”

(DH7) “that sounds like a terrible idea. we should do it.”

(DH8) “how dumb can you be?”

(DH9) “are you drunk?”

(DH10) “don’t smell that!”

(DH11) “that was stupid.”

(DH12) “i didn’t know you could fly,” “i can’t.”

(DH13) “you really don’t know how to talk to girls, do you?”

(DH14) “stop quoting vines.”

(DH15) “if you take my blanket again, i will put my cold feet on you.”

(DH16) “if i act like i care, will this be over faster?”

(DH17) “it’s my natural reaction to stupidity.”

(DH18) “i’m pretty sure i didn’t do it.”

(DH19) “please stop getting shot, it stresses me out.”

(DH20) “when i finish making sure you don’t die, i will kill you.”

(DH21) “do you need a hug or something?”

(DH22) “you’re getting blood all over my carpet!”

(DH23) “i don’t know if i want to kiss you or shove you off a cliff.”

“can i pick?”

(DH24) “are you sure i can’t punch him?”

(DH25) “that has got to be the lamest pick up line ever.”

“does that mean it didn’t work?”

(DH26) “i love you so much, but your cooking is dangerous.”

(DH27) “i think they broke them.”

(DH28) “i think i broke them.”

(DH29) “you are a real pain in my ass.”

(DH30) “right. back to bed with you.”

(DH31) “does my being half- naked not bother you?”

(DH32) “i’m not human. i don’t sleep.”

(DH33) “no! i don’t need your help!” “fine. die.”

(DH36) "april fools!" "it's not april."

neutral (can go either way)

og posts: prompt list, prompt list, 170 dialogue prompts, 200 prompts

(DN1) “shut up and kiss me.“

(DN2) “you’re going to fall.”

(DN3) “you’re an idiot.”

(DN4) “i don’t want to be alone.”

(DN5) “please stay.”

(DN6) “you’re going to fall.”

(DN7) “do it again.”

(DN8) “i dare you”

(DN9) “you’re so cold.”

(DN10) “don’t leave me.”

(DN11) “it was just a dream.”

(DN12) “i’ll always be here.”

(DN13) “forget it.”

(DN14) “forget i said anything.”

(DN15) “don’t do that!”

(DN16) “can you shut up?”

(DN17) “take my hand.”

(DN18) “hold my hand.”

(DN19) “i lost them”

(DN20) “i can’t find them.”

(DN21) “i’m tired.”

(DN22) “how much of that did you hear?”

(DN23) “did you mean that?”

(DN24) “why did you say that?”

(DN25) “why won’t you let me help?”

(DN26) “will you pretend to date me?”

(DN27) “you’re lying to my face.”

(DN28) “did you think i wouldn’t find out?”

(DN29) “do you trust me?”

(DN30) “stay close to me.”

(DN31) “come with me, i don’t want to go alone.

(DN32) “they stare at you all the time.”

(DN33) “are you crying?”

(DN34) “they were crying because of you.”

(DN35) “stop ignoring me.”

(DN36) “they ambushed me!”

(DN37) “are you jealous?”

(DN38) “what the hell did they do to you?”

(DN39) “how long have you been standing there?”

(DN40) “are you bleeding?”

(DN41) “is that blood?”

(DN42) “what was that noise?”

(DN43) “what did you just say?”

(DN44) “you should sleep.”

masterlist

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i-will-physically-fight-you · 4 years ago

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Tightrope Fanfic

Title: Tightrope

Summary: Virgil feels lost. It’s not a foreign feeling, especially when one is the embodiment of Anxiety. But it feels like one as he stares down at a sniffling Roman in his arms. He doesn’t know what has happened. One moment, the others are having their spat about the wedding. The next, Roman barges into his room mid-breakdown and hasn’t left since.

Pairings: platonic prinixety

Word-Count: 2.9k

Warnings: Crying, Anger, Panic, Discussion of POF, Hurt/Comfort

This is a companion fic to Safety Net, but you don’t have to read that one to understand the context of this one <3

Virgil feels lost. It’s not a foreign feeling, especially when one is the embodiment of Anxiety. But it feels like one as he stares down at a sniffling Roman in his arms. He doesn’t know what has happened. One moment, the others are having their spat about the wedding. The next, Roman barges into his room mid-breakdown and hasn’t left since.

He keeps expecting the rug to be pulled out from under him. That perhaps this is some delayed April’s Fool joke. A ploy by Remus or one of the Others to fuck with him. His mind crafts a thousand possibilities, a thousand explanations for why this can’t be reality.

Because Virgil doesn’t know how to handle a Roman who fell from a great height and shattered completely. What if he cannot put the pieces back together again? What if he messes up and makes things worse? What if he’s the one to cause this in the first place?

No, he refuses to go down that spiraling thought pattern. Because if he unravels now, then he’ll be completely useless to Roman. He compartmentalizes the fear, stuffing it away to haunt him at a later date.

Roman’s cries have died down to a few hiccuping gasps of air. The ever-poised, ever-presentable Prince of Passion is anything but. He lays in Virgil’s arms, as limp and lifeless as a doll. His white princely jacket wrinkly and half-undone, red sash hanging loosely. Virgil cannot see his eyes from underneath his rumpled, messy hair but he’s willing to bet they’re bloodshot. Virgil bits his lips as he notes the dark ichor running down Roman’s cheeks like smeared mascara.

Roman has been in his room for far too long. Especially for someone who was already in a fragile emotional state upon showing up. Virgil shouldn’t have allowed him to stay. But he couldn’t find in himself to deny Roman, not when he’d looked at Virgil with a helpless terror in his eyes. So he had chosen instead to hold onto a sobbing Roman while trying to figure out what the hell happened.

The clock in his room is hardly reliable, but he’s certain at least an hour has passed and he’s still nowhere closer than he’d been at the start. Which is that it involves the stupid wedding, Patton and Deceit. The latter of which, apparently told them his actual name. He won’t know more unless Roman divulges more. And in the swirling storm of hysteria that is his room, the chances of that happening is slim.

Before he can let doubt rake its claws into him, he pulls Roman closer to his chest and syncs out. Roman realizes a moment too late what’s happening. He lets out a startled gasp, tries pushing away, but it’s too late. With a loud crackle, they appear in the gloomy fog of a dead forest.

Roman looks around, eyebrows bunched up together. If this was any other situation, Virgil might’ve smirked.

“It’s the imagination,” Virgil says, answering the question behind Roman’s bewildered gaze, “Or at least my little pocket of it. No one will find us here.”

Well maybe except Remus, the one responsible for its creation. Virgil is hoping that today will not be the day he decides to return here for the first time in years.

Roman opens his mouth to speak, yet hesitates halfway through. He turns his head away from Virgil, shrugging. Virgil’s cold dead heart plummets at this. Roman isn’t supposed to be this defeated. He’s supposed to be stubborn, obstinate, argumentative. Virgil knows how to handle that. He knows how to bait Roman into banter, to get him to admit the root of his problems. But this? He doesn’t know how to deal with a Roman this apathetic. And that scares him.

Virgil should apologize, he thinks. After everything that happened, he hunkered down in his room. He stayed away thinking his presence would only be detrimental than beneficial. He was Anxiety after all, flight or fight. In this case, he chose flight. But obviously, like everything else in his existence, that’d been the wrong choice yet again.

He inhales deeply, his breath hitching at the last moment, the words refusing to come out. They remain stuck in clumps inside his throat, refusing to solidify into verbal spoken words. The ghostly howl of the wind is the only sound between the two.

Then Roman laughs. It sounds more like a cat hacking up a hairball than his usual melodious chuckles. It’s loud, harsh and absolutely dripping with pain. Halfway through he ends up in a coughing fit. Virgil watches, unsure how to respond.

“You were right.” Roman croaks at last, sagging heavily against a tree.

Those words aren't what Virgil likes to hear. It’s never good when he, Anxiety, is right. He’d much prefer to be proven wrong. Even if that meant Roman lording it over his head for weeks on end. It’s annoying as hell and he never thought he’d miss that until now.

Virgil swallows, pushing the sudden ache in his chest aside. He doesn’t need confirmation to know what he was right about.

Still, his heart thudding heavily in his chest, he asks anyways, “About Janus?”

Roman nods, grimacing.

“Ro, what happened?” Virgil asks, unable to hold that question within himself any longer.

The fanciful side doesn’t respond at first. His hand traces the grooves of the bark on the tree he’s leaned against. His lips twist and contort, as if fighting to find the words to say. Virgil isn’t sure if he’s ever seen Roman ever at a loss for words until now.

“I thought it was a villainous trick at first. Just another ploy to get us to trust him. I made fun of it, even. It wasn’t until the way you reacted when I mentioned it to you that I thought otherwise,” Roman says, breaking in mid-conscious thought. Something that is very Roman-like, forgetting other people can’t read his mind. There must be something in Virgil’s face because he clarifies, “Deceit’s name I mean.”

“I mean, I don’t blame you,” Virgil says slowly, toying with his hoodie strings, “He never told any of the Others.”

“But he told you?”

Now it’s Virgil’s turn to stare at the ground. The ache in his chest returns, except it’s different. It’s like a fire-pit at a summer camp-out. It’s warm and comfortable to linger next to, but stay too long and you’ll be sweltering in the unbearable suffocating heat. The same goes for thinking about the past. That’s why he hates getting nostalgic. It’s hard to reminisce about the good times without remembering why they ended.

The old him that hasn’t been extinguished yet, the one that called himself Janus’ friend, is indignant that Roman apparently made fun of Janus’ name. However the newer him that calls himself Virgil and wears the purple hoodie, isn’t. Good, he thinks, he deserves it. And he isn’t too ashamed of feeling that way. Not after the raging forest fire that burnt down their friendship in the first place.

“Yeah.” Virgil breaths out with stifled lungs. He can feel Roman’s eyes burning a hole in his head. He thinks he’d find an unspoken question in them if he looks up. He doesn’t elaborate. He isn’t in the mood for scorching his tongue on the ashes of a cremated friendship. Especially when it’d shift the focus onto him and not Roman. Something he’s certain Roman wants despite it being so rare for him to flinch away from the spotlight.

For all their vast, stark differences, they aren’t really that different when it comes down to several things, one being that neither of them like showing weakness. They are also incredibly stubborn. It just so happens Virgil has the stronger resolve at this moment.

“I trusted him,” Roman says, continuing where he’d left off, “I trusted him, I thought he’d knew best and I just wanted--”

A huff cuts off Roman’s words as he flings his arms towards the sky. He paces in front of Virgil, muttering bits and pieces too quick for him to understand. Perhaps he does need to share a little. Just to help Roman know and understand he isn’t alone.

“Listen, I get it,” Virgil says, “I also trusted Janus once too--”

“No, it wasn’t Janus--well, yes, but--” Roman yanks at his hair, “I meant Patton!”

Patton? Virgil feels as if he'd been riding on the flying magic rug from Aladdin. Only the magic rug has been ripped from underneath him and now he’s freefalling into a waterfall full of sharp pointy rocks at the bottom.

He’d thought he knew where this conversation was heading except now he’s lost more than ever before. He needs a minute to breathe, to process what’s happening. Roman doesn’t give him that. He pushes on, shaking his head like a riled-up mistreated stallion from a horse girl movie.

“I wanted to do what was right for Thomas and--and Patton has always known what’s right, right?”

He gazes desperately at Virgil, searching for reassurance, for affirmation. Virgil’s heart sinks. He can't honestly give that to Roman, though he'd love to give Roman whatever his heart desires to stop his pain.

Patton tries his best, he really does. But even he is wrong sometimes. He has made mistakes, ones that have hurt Virgil himself both past and present. And although Virgil has forgiven him, it doesn’t change the fact that even their softest puffball isn’t always right.

He can tell Roman realizes that by the way his scowl grows bigger.

“Am I too dimwitted?” Roman growls, “Was I the only one foolish enough to believe that? Just like believing that I could truly be--be--”

He lets out a tormented scream, slumping down against a tree. Head bowed, knees drawn close, arms pulled tightly around himself. Virgil stands a few feet away, still so far from understanding as he was when Roman first appeared in his room. Only that apparently he needed to kick both Janus’ and Patton’s collective asses.

Virgil withholds a sigh as he crouches down next to Roman.

A gloomy fog hardly provides the best lighting. It’s better than the dark murkiness of his room, however, and it’s here that he notices something. A blueish-purple splotch of something. Just barely poking out of Roman’s collar. It’s then, Virgil remembers that a metaphoric “bruised ego” is anything but metaphoric for one metaphysical entity such as Roman, Creativity and Ego in one.

“Princey,” Virgil says, his voice unusually level, “did you get hurt by what happened earlier?”

Roman doesn’t answer his question. Not directly at least. “Lee and Mary Lee hardly spoke to Thomas at the wedding, did you know that?”

“Yeah,” Virgil bites his lips, “I knew that.”

It’s a rhetorical question. Of course Virgil knows--he’s a part of Thomas. He’d been with Thomas during the wedding. The leg bouncing up and down in an anxious jitter. Directing the eyes away from the merriment of the wedding and towards that pointless moronic mobile game. The clenching feeling in Thomas’ throat during the brief interaction with Lee and Mary Lee. He hadn’t even been able to say hello because of Virgil.

He’d tried so hard to hold back, to not torment Thomas with his decision anymore than his host had already endured. It didn’t really matter in the end. As Thomas finally slipped away from the wedding, so had Virgil slipped into his room. He ignored the muffled noises of the debate erupting outside the mindscape. Why show his face when Thomas already knew what his input would be? Or knowing what he’d once been, for that matter? Or at least, that had been his justifications at the time.

“Which hardly seems fair! After what I--Thomas sacrificed to be there for them. B-but it’d been the right decision, right?” Roman laughs, shaking his head. He doesn’t wait for an answer as he pushes on, “Was it too selfish to expect more? To think that making the right decision would result in an award?”

Virgil stays silent. Morality isn’t his forte; sure as Anxiety he often cautioned Thomas to follow societal rules. It’s often easier to go with the current rather than fight against it. So he’s hardly the most reliable source of it.

And as for his role, both the wedding and the call-back offered the same amount of dread. After all, he’s Anxiety. It’s literally his job to nitpick and point out every single thing a situation could go wrong, no matter how improbable or absurd. Unlike Roman, he’d be lying if he said he was surprised by the outcome of the wedding. It’s not far off from what he had predicted.

On the flipside, he could offer a million ways of how the audition could’ve ended poorly. A tear in Thomas’ pants mid-audition. Thomas blanking out on a crucial line. A meteor falling from the atmosphere and effectively crushing Thomas to death. Okay, that last one is highly improbable but it could still happen! You never know!

Regardless, he doubted any of that is what Roman needed to hear.

“I trusted him. He’d said it’d been the right decision when I made it. And I believed him.” Roman scoffs.

Virgil frowns, cautiously sitting a few feet away from Roman. He chooses not to look him in the eye, treating him as if he’s an easily-startled wild creature.

“Y’know, he and I are going through a bit of a rough patch. He’s trying his best, I know he is. But take it from me--sometimes someone’s best isn’t always good enough. And I think it’s okay if it...takes time for you to forgive Patton.”

“No!”

“No?”

“I mean,” Roman lets out a frustrated scream, “I don’t know! Before, there was a script, a stage, parts to play. Ones I had intimately memorized! But it’s as if it’s before the curtain rises before the opening show and the director has thrown out the script completely. He expects me after years of practice to perform something I’ve never seen--that even he has no concept of what it looks like and h-how is any actor expected to perform in such conditions?”

A light-bulb finally goes off in Virgil’s head.

“You’re...angry at Thomas, aren’t you?”

Roman flinches as he’d been struck, throwing his body backwards harshly against the tree. He looks hardly affected by it as he scrambles quickly to his feet.

“Wh-what? No! That’s absurd!” Roman protests, “I’m not angry at Thomas--”

“But you are,” Virgil interrupts, rising to his feet, “You’re angry at both Patton and Janus, yeah, but they’re just targets to throw your misplaced anger at. Because you don’t want to admit it’s actually Thomas--”

“Yes, because you’re wrong, Mary Mary Q-quite Misconstrued!” Roman puffs up his chest, trying to keep his head high, “I--I’d never, I can’t hate Thomas--”

“Whoa, I didn’t say you hated him,” Virgil says, gently tugging Roman’s hands into his own, “there’s a difference between being mad at someone for something, and hating them.”

Roman looks at him with almost a wild gaze to his eyes, so close to almost hyperventilating. Virgil can almost see the invisible cracks in Roman’s skin, his multitude of facades peeling away before Virgil’s eyes. He looks at Roman and sees himself.

“I used to think they were the same thing,” Virgil begins, “But they’re not. Hate is when you abhor ill will towards someone, when you wish them dead or worse. Anger...anger is just a form of fear. And it’s okay to feel and experience that anger, you don’t have to repress it.”

“I’m not scared of Thomas,” Roman scoffs, his gaze drawn to the forest floor rather than Virgil.

“But you are afraid that if Thomas can accept Janus and possibly Remus, then he could just as easily change his mind regarding you, right?” Virgil questions, “You’re afraid because all you've ever done has been in Thomas’ best interest and suddenly now you’re being told all it’s done is hurt him. You’re afraid but you don’t want to admit it, so you turn to anger instead because that’s better than being scared, right?”

“I’m not…” Roman trails off, clenching his jaw. Virgil is fully expecting to get punched by the way his body tenses up. Roman does lunge towards him just then, arms flailing out. Virgil doesn’t even have a chance to raise his arms up in defense before he gets an armful of blubbering prince once more.

“I’m supposed to be Thomas’ hero, he told me I was, but what if I’m not? W-what if I never was? And--and I have to be good, Virgil, I can’t be evil--”

Roman lets it all go then. It’s a tidal wave of anxiety and fears, of self-doubt and self-deprecation. Almost any other person would become overwhelmed by how much perturbation Roman’s kept hidden all these years. But Virgil is Anxiety, his realm is terror and trepidation. He’s experienced every fear-induced thought and more under the sun. He understands it better than perhaps anyone else ever could.

He knows Roman will most likely clam up after today. That later on, they’ll need to address these things in detail and take care of the bruises mottling his skin. Roman will need encouragement to rebuild his confidence and to turn away from self-destructive habits. Both of which are things that Virgil struggles with all too well. He knows it to feel as impossible as walking across a tightrope blindfolded. Right now, however, all Roman needs is for someone to listen.

And so listen Virgil does.

#thomas sanders #sanders sides #virgil sanders #roman sanders #prinixety #kat writes

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heffrondriving · 3 years ago

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I'm sorry if this is a little assholely but after seeing your vent post I went looking for where you said to not tag names and the only place I saw it was at the end of your very long tags,, so assuming i didnt miss another more obvious place...? Have you thought of just putting that in the post itself? Because anyone who's seeing it second hand (as in seeing it after someone else rebloged it) won't see that tag + not everyone reads tags, you know :( sorry that it makes you uncomfortable but if you put it somewhere more visible, like in the body of the post, then at least people def will see it. Sending love either way 💕

nahhh nothing to be sorry for issall totally cool and encouraged and you are very kind,, tbh i was lowkey waiting around for something like this and i'm kinda glad for it and also surprised it's not at least fifty times worse??? in all honesty i think i am in dire need and deserving of the hardest dose of criticism at this point for all the stupid messy personal posts i make on a sleep-deprived whim, as i am fully aware that this is not the place for it, and i am and should never be exempt from getting my necessary comeuppance should it arise. and like i said, this quandary was completely of my own fault. i have made my stance on personal comfort posts clear numerous times before and only put them in subtler places like the end of my annoying-ass rambly tags because i really don't wanna bother people with something that sounds so trivially inconsequential, and it makes me incredibly anxious to add them in the post itself (as i reckon it just outright ruins the whole content and that's such a selfish and gross thing for me to do personally,, like who tf am i to ask anything of anyone ech :-/). but this is still my sole responsibility to properly handle and conduct myself online, and i'm so sorry if i came across like i'm attempting to pass the blame for my own self-implicated neglect, as no one else should be subject to dealing with my mistakes. (like no joke i screamed aloud when i read that you looked through my posts or tags??? PLS LICHRALLY NEVER DO THAT EVER THAT'S A VV BAD IDEA ACTUAL ONLINE EQUIVALENT OF DUMPSTER DIVING VIBES EXCEPT THE DUMPSTER'S ON FIRE AND CAUSES MAJOR BRAINROTOFFISITIS!!!!! (;´༎ຶД༎ຶ`))

i've had a well-needed rest hrk composed myself, deleted my prev post (i'm also thinking of removing the post that spurred it just to be sure, t'was super terrible anyway lmao), and muted my notifs for the time being, so please do feel free to tag anything however you wish at this point—i know i'm making an absolute fool out of myself for this full 180 departure (just in time for april 1st tho so swings and roundabouts-) but yeah that's completely fine idk, and if my walnut brain has anything otherwise to say abt it they will be catching These Hands according to the Fists Of Fury Code!!!!! ᕦ(ò皿óᕦ) but in all seriousness, emotional dysregulation is the absolute worst but i understand that maybe i can't really set boundaries for something fully well out of my control, so i just give up the ghost on this bc what else is there to do. c'est la vie if it sucks for me, tough shit @ self tough it out bebs u asked for this :^) though i hopefully can, however, keep everything else out of sight and out of mind so that i don't have to deal with the self-imposed repercussions by willingly setting my triggers off and lashing out incessantly. like mmm that's toxic shit girlie no one wants that here bls get u some therapy pare *whaps myself with an abaniko fan*. it's 100% on me if i choose to expand the tags on my notifs, and what happens in other ppl's blogs should be none of my fucking business and i'm just a super nosy lurker goblin sometimes ig exhibit a: this is what being a chronic cave hermit does to the human psyche. irreversible damage u.......*steven he voice* EMOTIONAL DAMAGE!!!!! my sincerest apologies again for all the trouble and i really hope this answer doesn't come off as too sardonic or acerbic or anything of the sort, i know i goof a lot but i really do mean all of it, even if trying to convey appropriate tone indication in text form is so whack 😩

also i'm really sorry for this mf ten-volume novel series of an answer (i really hope no one's insane enough to actually read this....whatever the hell this is .-.). thank you so much for your patience and understanding, and please keep the love and give it to another funky cool blog who's worthy of it and not deserving of getting squished like a pestilent vermin under your steel-toed bootheel!! /lh ~(இ௰இ~) anywayyy let's ignore (slash unfollow hardblock permanent dni etc. etc....very good ideas, those, bc if i could block myself i would without hesitation smh get this chernobyl elephant's foot outta my feed) this and my other inane bullshittery and let bygones be bygones and go back to our silly manband content, shall we??? this blog is for no-braincell shits and pure dumbassery first and foremost i promise......also i have more poorly-made sh!tposts and kendall's pretty grampa face stuff which i wanna plague the btr tag with if that's still allowed pls ¯\_( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)_/¯

(^^^ i can't believe i actually got to use this gif for something sdjsfjksd)

#tbh i'm genuinely shocked i'm not getting more hatemail at this point (this is an implicit urge to action!) bc lawd gawd i am obnoxious??#you know when you say things and the moment it leaves your mouth you instantly know that you fucked up??? that is me all the time #i have zero filter and it gets the best of me and i just really need ppl to tell me to shut tf up so this is good. more of this is good #i'll delete this too just so it wouldn't clutter up the feed i'm so sorry ahh ;-;#full disclosure there was another ask regarding this matter that i never answered bc it got washed out of my slow braim and by the time i #remembered it felt too uncomfortably late to respond yk so. i hope this could be some kinda reparation #fr why do i look forward to getting slammed down;;; watching me get my ass kicked is cathartic ngl. painful and tr//um//tic but still >:3 #this is what u get allen!!! hoshit here comes the undertaker with a folding chair ready to body avalanche the weak spine outta u hofuckk #i'm rambling nonsense in tags again when this answer already has no right being this long sorry drank too much coffee fushfuahj #anon #all the windows down #do pretty girl don't speak

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rainy-day-gracie · 4 years ago

Text

America’s Sweetheart 4

Here it is !! Read previous chapter here <-

Reader deals with nightmares, something Spencer knows all too well. Reader meets the infamous team of the BAU at a lovely party at David Rossi’s.

Slight angst and lots of fluff + the team !!

MASTERLIST

I was back on the beach, a grey storm rolling in, thunder echoing across the horizon. The waves weren’t as high up as my first dream, but they still made me stumble.

As I lost my balance, falling back into the sand, I noticed a figure standing a few feet to my right. A tall man with curly brown hair stood, dressed in a purple sweater vest and long pants. When I looked down, his feet were barefoot. Something in my head told me I should know him, but a name never came into my head.

“Why did you lie to me?” The man asked, his face looking hurt.

“Yes YFN, why did you lie to him?” I saw another figure in the corner of my eye, approaching me with a confident nature. The figure didn’t have any defining features, simply an average person, forgettable.

“What-” My voice suddenly seemed to shut off, and the faceless figure came and pulled down on my hair. My hands dug into the sand, my heart seeming to skip a few beats at a time.

The man with the curly hair stood above me, looking sympathetic but not making any move to help me.

I tried to cry out, but no sound left my mouth. The storm hit, and water filled my lungs.

Spencer was shaking me awake in bed, a cold sweat covering my entire body.

“YFN, hey, it’s just a dream, you’re okay!” Spencer called out, pulling me into his chest as I trembled. “It’s okay, we’re okay...”

It was several minutes before I calmed down again, and I pulled away from him slightly. “What... what happened?”

“You were shouting, screaming for help...” Spencer looked at me with concerned brown eyes. “Is there anything going on?”

My heart skipped a beat, the image of that eerie note flashing in my mind. How could he know? No, he couldn’t possibly know...

“Nothing, just a bad dream. Go back to sleep, Spencer.” I gave him a small peck on the lips before swinging my feet over the side of the bed towards the bathroom.

Once I was alone, looking in the mirror, I knew he could see easily through my lie. My eyes looked terrified, and if I could see it, Spencer could definitely see it too.

When I walked back out of Spencer’s bathroom, he was still sitting on the bed, clearly wide awake.

I gave him a sweet smile and another peck on the lips. “Go back to bed,” I pleaded with puppy dog eyes. “Pretty boy.”

Spencer smiled, finally tucking back into the covers. I joined him, wrapping my arms around his waist as the big spoon.

We both pretended to fall back to sleep, neither of us fooled by the other. __

Spencer’s team was thoroughly intimidating. How could they not be? Seven people that catch serial killers weekly?

“You’ll love them, I promise,” Spencer said, guiding me up the steps of David Rossi’s house... no, check that, David Rossi’s mansion.

“I’m sure I’ll love them, but what if they don’t love me? What if-”

Spencer cut me off, facing me before we knocked on the door. “Aren’t you YFN YLN? Oscar winning actress and movie star of the decade?”

I shoved him lightly on the shoulder. “This is different than that. This is your family, and that’s more important than some stupid trophy.”

Spencer smiled, giving a reassuring pat on the shoulder. “It’ll be great. I promise.”

The door swung open almost as soon as Spencer’s hand touched the wood, revealing a bubbly blonde in a bright pink dress. A grin covered her face ear to ear, and she gasped at the sight of me.

“You’re even more gorgeous in person! Come in, lovelies!”

As we entered the house, the blonde introduced herself. “I’m Penelope, and you must be YFN-”

“Garcia.” Spencer said nervously, glancing from me to Penelope.

I quickly offered my hand, which Penelope took in both of hers. “I’m YFN, it’s wonderful to meet you, Spencer had told me great things.”

If possible, Penelope’s grin grew, and she dragged me into a large seating area where other people stood, chatting and drinking wine. The chatter dimmed when I entered the room, but a man I recognized as David Rossi quickly shoved a glass of wine in my hand, making me forget everything else.

“David Rossi, welcome and make yourself at home!” David said, his eyes warm and kind.

“Hello, I’m YFN, so nice to meet you. Your house is beautiful,” I gushed, glancing around the immaculate mansion.

David smiled, looking to Spencer beside me. “I like her already.”

I stood and chatted for a few minutes with Penelope, and I quickly saw what Spencer was talking about when he said Penelope was the loveliest person you could ever meet.

A woman with raven black hair and a dark skinned man approached me, smiles on both of their faces. The man eyed me jokingly. “You must be the Hollywood Honey I hear so much about.”

I grinned, clinking my wine glass against his. “You must be SSA Derek Morgan, the phone thief, am I right?”

The woman laughed, pointing at Derek. “She got you there. I’m Emily, it’s so nice to meet you.”

I felt a hand on my back, and I turned to see Spencer. “Your friends are wonderful.”

“Um, your girlfriend is wonderful!” Emily giggled, looping her elbow around mine. “You’re sitting next to me at dinner!”

After I met JJ, who was warm and welcoming like the mom she is, and Hotch, who was polite but serious, we all sat down for dinner. One of the best meals I’ve ever had, but also the bond of family and love made my stomach hurt with giggles and my face hurt with smiles. JJ’s son, Henry, was absolutely adorable, and seeing Spencer with kids just amplified my baby fever tenfold.

Several times I caught Spencer staring at me, and each time I would wink, letting him know everything was okay.

I almost forgot about the crazy person leaving presents and love letters for me.

The night ended with laughter, dancing, and lots of peck kisses on the way back to the car. Spencer was definitely not okay to drive, and I couldn’t wipe the smile off my face as he clambered into the passenger’s seat.

“That was amazing, thank you for inviting me, Spencer,” I giggled, starting to roll down David’s long driveway.

“You’re incredible. It takes the average person about three months to fall in love, but for me it happened pretty much the first day,” Spencer slurred, his head resting on the corner of his seat. “You were wearing a black baseball cap, and you looked beautiful.”

My heart fluttered at his words. “You’re sweet, and definitely drunk.”

“Not drunk, just lovesick.”

“Whatever.”

“Do you want kids?” Spencer asked out of the blue.

I couldn’t help the smile that came to my face

We ended up at his apartment, not for any reason but just out of habit. “We’re home, pretty boy.”

His arm was slung across my shoulder even though he could probably walk himself. I teased him as he walked slowly up the stairs, and the moment we got to the apartment, we were dead asleep on the bed.

I didn’t have a single dream.

Read next chapter here <-

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lucysuniverse · 4 years ago

Text

Critical Beauty

Am I the only one who thinks Jo Jinho is perfect just the way he is? Probably not. :D

To be honest I incredibly miss this man so I just wanted to feel him a bit closer while I am writing this story and he is serving in the military.

Happy Birthday Jinho! We love you all.

Pairing: Jinho x OC/reader

Genre: comfort, romance, angst

Word count: 6081

______________________________

I messed up. Like totally. My dad and those idiot colleagues of mine totally washed my brain. But after all I was the one ruining our relationship completely. And I could not blame him for having the will to break up with me because If I was in his shoes I would have done the same.

-|-

I knew it wasn’t right this way. We lived together for almost a year by now, and I couldn’t tell him. I couldn’t tell him that I was lying to him continuously in order to protect him from pain and save his self-esteem. Or at least this was my intention through-out the years.

We lived in a small flat. This is what we could afford. I just graduated from high-school and he was going to auditions. One after another. He was determined, and he was good. Insanely good. I couldn’t understand what is missing. What do you need more to become a singer? Didn’t he have outstanding vocals? He did. Didn’t he have a bit shy but loveable personality? He did. Didn’t he have sense of humor? HE DID. And on top of that he was handsome. WHAT WAS MISSING THEN???

As his girlfriend my heart was aching to watch all his efforts go to waste after so many years passed. We had a relatively big age gap between us. Well as long as you’re a teenager or young adult even two and a half years difference seem a lot. But later on, it doesn’t really matter. Especially not when you like someone. Because you like them for the person they are.

I loved him so incredibly. Because he was great. He was caring and cute but sometimes surprisingly masculine and very hot. I couldn’t wish for a better man. There was only one thing missing. Actually, not was but were. 5 more inches.

Because although we were quite far from each other in terms of age, we were all the more so close in terms of height. To be honest I guess I might have been smaller than him, but it never felt like that. And every time I thought about this I felt ashamed. Because that was the only thing which gave me hard times. I wouldn’t say I didn’t like his height. I liked everything about him. But sometimes I just wished he was a tiny bit taller, or I was even smaller (if that was possible).

Sometimes I found myself wondering about this: this couldn’t be the reason of him failing all those auditions, right? They can’t be so mean right? If you’ve ever heard a good singer than you would know that Jo Jinho was one of them.

This is why I always told my father to wait just a little. He was really opposing our relationship. I would have understood his concerns if he had real reasons, since I was his only daughter. But what he always said was ridiculous, narrow-minded and I just resent him for that.

“When will he finally stop this stupid joke of becoming a singer. Didn’t he have enough throughout these years?”

“I am fine dad. How about you?” I said as a reply. I was so fed up listening to his bullshit all the time. He heard Jinho singing. And even though he would have never admitted, he knew Jinho was born to be a singer. Anybody could tell. But sadly, in his eyes only those are real men who are lawyers or doctors. When they divorced with mom, he even found me a real man… My dad thought I should go on a blind date with the trainee of his divorce lawyer. He even complimented his ears! Like what the heck! My always logical and strict dad tells me to date the trainee of his divorce lawyer because he has nice ears.

Don’t get me wrong I’ve never thought about leaving Jinho, but my dad nagged me all the time so I checked the guy’s social media pages. Funfact: he was born on the freaking same day in April as Jinho. Am I freaking joke?

“Little woman… I am your dad no need to act like this. But think about your future kids. Will they be also minions?”

“Bye dad it was good to talk to you.” And I hung up. I didn’t want to ignore him. After all he was my dad. But we never had a good relationship. Well a relationship at all. But the irritating thing was that even if I tried to ignore all these comments he made me angry. I couldn’t stop myself. I should not marry Jinho but we are already expecting kids?! And minions? And these are my dad’s words when he himself isn’t a giant either. ARRGGGGHHH!

“Hi babe! Is everything okay?” Jinho asked. And as always, I put on a nice smile and said “yeah, all good.” And I hated myself for that.

-|-

“What is that?” He asked curiously. I didn’t know he was still at home. I wanted to put the box back under the bed as soon as possible but it was too late he saw it.

“Oh this? It is just something stupid. It is not important. Did you leave something here?”

“Yeah, I left my phone on the charger. But don’t change the topic. It must be something important if you were staring at it so dearly.”

“Oh no. You misunderstood.”

“Okay, enough of this. What’s that? Do you have something to hide from me?” And even though he didn’t say this in an offended way there was edge in his voice.

“It’s your birthday gift.”

“My birthday gift?”

“Yeah.” I knew this couldn’t work. But I couldn’t come up with a real acceptable reason.

“It was last month. And procrastination is your middle name so it can’t be for my next one, I am not buying this. So, what is that?”

“I will bring this back okay? I don’t know why I bought this. I must have lost my mind. I just …”

“Oh show me finally.” And before I could give him the box he took it out of my hands.

“You must be kidding me, right?” He asked after 3 minutes of torturing silence.

“Look I am sorry. I know we should be saving money and …. but I can ask for refund and also…”

“You created such a big scene just because of this?” And he was laughing. He was LAUGHING!

“What? Aren’t you mad?”

“Why would I be? Should I?”

“Oh… yeah. I mean no. No. I just thought… I just…”

“You thought I would be upset to found out that my girlfriend is secretly buying a pair of high-heels for herself to feel pretty? I am getting more upset now that I know you felt like you should hide this. Also, why did you think I didn’t want to see your pretty legs in this? I thought you knew me better. If that’s all I am off for work. Bye babe see you in the afternoon.” And he gave me a light kiss on my forehead. And I felt on my skin he was smiling. “And I hope next time I see you, you’ll be wearing these.” And he casually left the room.

I made a fool out of myself. I really thought he would be offended by this. I mean it wasn’t a big deal to give up on high-heels. They weren’t very comfortable anyway and we really had to save money. But I was young and for the first time in my life I felt getting more feminine. Maybe I was already but this time I started to realize.

I thought it was selfish of me having these secret desires to put on a bit tighter clothes and wore high-heels especially when he is not really taller than me, but after having this conversation I was even more encouraged. I knew he didn’t have problems with it and that was all that mattered. I was happily tiptoeing to the office. My colleagues even complimented me.

The girls were jealous for having those nice shaped legs, and the boys… let’s not talk about them. If you think they will become serious once they grow up… Well friend you are totally mistaken. Boys will be boys. But they didn’t cross the line, in their own way they complimented me as well. And I felt confident and happy. All thanks to my sweet boyfriend whom I could always rely on.

I was in a really good mood until the point I let some idiots ruin my day. I couldn’t say they ruined it. I was the one let them do it. I just wish I never overheard their conversation.

“I was wondering why she is never coming to the year-end parties but now I see. The company is not yet prepared for those legs.”

“That was a good one bro. But they say she is just staying home all the time with that hopeless guy. I feel sorry for her to have such a boyfriend.”

“What really? Why aren’t they coming together?”

“Another rumor says it the guy is a dwarf. So, she is rather staying home with him.”

“Wow. How do you know so many things?”

“Resources…”

“Which girl then?”

“The blondie in the red jeans.”

“Mmmmmh.”

“Stop it she is mine.”

“Until when?”

“Tonight. Then you can have her.”

“You are disgusting man. Well done.” And they laughed.

“Ah but that sweetie. I really feel sorry for her. Having that boyfriend can be very burdensome.”

“Oh yeah. If I was her boyfriend, I would make sure she feels good in every situation.”

“You mean every position.”

“Exactly.” And they laughed again. “You know me so well.”

I felt dirty. It’s not like they did anything specific to me. They were just fantasizing. But I felt fucking dirty in that moment. I wanted to erase this conversation from my head but instead I heard their words repeatedly in my head.

I heard my shoes making that irritating sound on the street while I was going home. With every step I felt smaller and smaller. I regretted wearing that stupid high-heel… So as soon as I arrived home I put them back in their box cleaned, ready to bring them back to the shop. I would want to throw them away instantly but then suddenly I thought about Jinho.

We need to spare money. He needs to buy some nice clothes for the next audition. And also, we barely manage to pay the bills since I just started studying in the med school and next to collage it is quite hard to work. Sometimes I thought maybe I should just quit dreaming about becoming a doctor but there was a senior doc, my supervisor who inspired me a lot. Last month he helped that well-known celebrity couple. He said the lady had some complications while she was giving birth to their little girl but the doctor helped them and finally the little Daisy was born healthy. Some of my fellow classmates said he even resembles Jinho…. I don’t know why.

Talking about Jinho, he was quite clueless when he found me eating the third bowl of ice cream and watching Lovely Complex.

“You are still watching this?”

“Anime is not only for kids. And well I’ve just become an adult anyway, meaning I am still a kid. Let me be. Oh and if you go to the kitchen can you bring me the last Ben & Jerry’s? I know I shouldn’t be buying these but I just felt like having a pajama party on my own. Thanks babe. ”

“Look.” And he sat down next to me and slowly took away the Ben and Jerry’s from my hands to put it on the table. “Can we talk about today morning?”

“Sure. But what is there to talk about?”

“I hate it when you act like this. And the funny thing is that you know I do.” He smiled bitterly. I was aware of it. None of us were stupid. Well… we both were very clever to be honest. When I acted silly it was either out of fun or I was trying to hide something. Just like now.

“Okay. Sorry.”

“I feel like you are kind of disappointed in me. And I just wanted to let you know and thank you for enduring all these days and months together with me. I know that even if you don’t tell me that it is hard to tell your parents that I still didn’t make it.”

“Jinho it’s not your fault.”

“That is showbiz, I know. The only thing that hurts me is that when I started this utterly long and unpredictable journey, it was me and only me. But since then we found each other, and me failing all the time is not only an individual concern. We are a team. And I am not a good team mate. You just graduated and want to become a doctor. And I should support you.”

“Jinho you’ve already done so much for me, you can’t even imagine. And you do every single day. Even today. So, don’t just please don’t say you don’t support me, when you support me the most.”

“But then what’s wrong?”

“What do you mean?”

“Even after so many years I’ve never met your colleagues and I hardly ever meet your dad. I know you are working part-time and you are tired from doing college and your job at the same time but these parties could help you relieve stress a bit.”

“I don’t want you to meet those idiots.” And well, this was true. Not only because they would make a joke out of us, but after today I was kind of ashamed of working with those bastards.

“But I guess not all of them- oh what’s this? I am sorry babe but I need to pick this up, we will catch up on this okay?”

A producer called him. Or should I say the producer? The one who just became a dad. The one whose wife gave birth to the little Daisy in our hospital with the help of my professor. That producer. I was insanely happy. Finally, good news. I couldn’t bear anything bad any longer. But the worst was yet to come.

-|-

We were walking hand in hand on the streets. Finally, a promising audition. It was on Saturday so I could go with him to the company and show some support as I should. Once the audition was over Jinho shook hands with the producer. I could imagine them working together. I even found cute how they were both quite small.

Jinho said they would contact him later, but he had a good feeling about finally making it. I was so happy. I’ve never saw him so hopeful after an audition. When we were leaving the company there were six model like people nearing us. I was sure they just walked out of Vogue. The two most likely European girls alongside the four men suited each other very well. But not all the boys were Korean. One boy’s appearance shouted “Shanghai Prince” the other’s “Nagano Prince” but don’t ask me why. I just had this feeling.

I don’t know how Jinho felt but I was in awe. They looked stunning. Flawlessly chitchatting about a Flower Shop in the nearby. I always thought models have other topics to talk about. Well the owner of that shop must have done something very well then to become a hot topic.

“They were cool right?” He asked suddenly.

“Yeah.”

“Just wait a little longer. I will become one of them anytime soon.”

“I know.”

And I really knew that he would succeed. He was supposed to be a singer. I even imagined myself becoming his manager. I loved helping people. And I was determined about med school, but for him I could have given up on it. I knew with his music he may be curing more people in his life than me as a doctor. So after all our goal was the same.

As we were nearing home familiar faces were getting closer. The two guys that bullied me in high school. They always had something against me. If I had red nails I was a slut if I wore a turtleneck they called me a nun. They ate my lunch, stole my notebooks etc. Same old thing. Bullies are so uncreative.

“Oh hi dear. Long time no see.”

“Hi guys.” And I started to panic but wanted to grab Jinho’s hand and leave as soon as possible.

“Hey its Saturday, why such a hurry? Knowing you, you don’t have any plans or invitations, do you?”

“I am sorry boys, but we will be leaving.” Jinho said firmly.

“Oh, did you see someone? I heard a voice but I don’t know where it comes from.” One of them said.

“I don’t know man. Maybe our favorite girl can tell us.” And now they were both looking at me challengingly.

“You guys are still not tired of the same old shit, are you?” I asked with a bored face but deep inside I was startled. I hated seeing them again, I hated the fact that even after graduation they can do this to me and Jinho as well.

“Same old shit? Look at you. Are you talking about yourself?”

“It was enough. Get lost.” Jinho said again.

“It is strange I keep on hearing things but I don’t see anyone.” One said.

“Poor girl. You should have higher expectations. Are should I say taller?” The other added. And they laughed. I was about to cry. Why is this happening to us, when finally, things seemed to become better.

“Is he the best you could end up with? Oh god your still so low-class as you used to be… or is he not your boyfriend? Correct me if I misunderstood.”

And that was when I fucked up. I didn’t say anything. I hesitated. There were no good answers. I knew them so well, no matter what I was about to say, they would turn it against me. But even that should have been better than this.

“I am sorry guys, but if that’s the problem, I can tell you we are not together. Look at her. Is she someone to mess around someone like me? Definitely no. She is better than that. She has a taller, funnier and richer guy next to her. He has just entered that building at the end of the corner. I guess you both know which building I am referring to.”

“Is that true?” They asked at the same time.

It was our only chance to finally escape from this nightmare situation. They could stop us if they wanted any time. We were both too small to resist if they were up to something.

“Yeah, that’s right. He works there.”

And as if the curse was broken, they nodded with respect and were no longer blocking our way.

“If that’s the case, we are sorry about what we said. We knew you are going to make it. And who is that lucky guy? Yanan? Shinwon? Yuto? No waaaay. Oh my god are you dating Jung Wooseok?”

I had no clue what they were talking about, but I had this gut feeling that my dear ex-classmates became fanboys throughout the years. FANBOYS! It was ridiculous. I couldn’t help but smile out of embarrassment.

“I am sorry, but you also know that we should respect the artist’s privacy. I cannot say more.”

“Okay, so its Wooseok. Oh my god. He is a legend. Could you please get his autograph?”

“I am sorry but we should get going. Jinho has- wait… Jinho?”

“Oh the small guy? He left couple of minutes ago when it turned out you are dating Wooseok. Is he jealous by the way? He might have some feelings for you. But don’t mind him girl. You are dating the great Jung Wooseok. What else can a person ask for?”

For a forgiving boyfriend I guess. I left these two idiots there and I started to run after Jinho as fast as I could. Did he say he is leaving I just didn’t notice? Was he upset? Did he leave something at the audition? I called him several times but I couldn’t reach him. After going back to the company and checking the possible places where we were that day I decided to finally go home. I just hoped he would be there.

-|-

He was at home. And he didn’t seem upset. He told me to take a shower after this tiring day. It was his tiring day though. If only I had the audition today.

We spent the afternoon calmly he was practicing and I watched a movie. The male protagonist kinda resembled the divorce lawyer’s trainee. Yang Hongseok. And wait a second, he is at the same agency where Jinho had the audition. Nice. I was so happy and excited I really hoped they will call him back with good news.

Jinho was practicing for hours. He only did this when he was determined and wanted to prove himself before an upcoming audition or when he was hurt. I started to have a bad feeling. There isn’t any upcoming audition. Shit.

I prepared some nice food and I cautiously knocked on his door to tell him we can have dinner. He didn’t seem angry or anything he just casually nodded and we started to eat.

“About today… thank you for saving me. These two were always bullying me and if you weren’t next to me today I might have ended up crying and hurt again.”

“At least YOU are not hurt.” And the way he said ‘you’ was different.

After minutes of awkward silence he thanked for the food and was on his way to go back practicing.

“Wait Jinho.”

“Yeah?” He asked indifferently.

And I couldn’t ask what I wanted.

“There is dessert for you in the fridge.”

“For me? Aww. That’s nice. I thought it is for someone else. Maybe for Jung Wooseok.”

Bingo. I knew something was fishy…

“I don’t even know who that guy is. And you are well aware of this. Look, I know those two are disgusting and resentful but it was you who stopped them. It was thanks to your made up story that they finally stopped.”

“Oh right. You are so right. What if we just pretend not dating anymore? Maybe it will solve other worries too?!”

“What? Do you want to break up?”

And I saw that he kinda froze at this question. He didn’t mean it. But if he was mentioning break up he must have been hurt for real.

“No. Of course not. This is why I was kind of avoiding you. I wanted to talk about this when I have calmed down. But fine since it’s out it can’t be helped.”

I was getting nervous. The thought of losing him was more than painful. I didn’t want to live without him. I couldn’t live without him.

“I always thought we are a great team. Even if there are things we should work on we were always open about concerns and we solved the problems together. But I am worried this situation right now is not something we can change even if we work together.”

“We can solve everything together, okay? I want to solve it. Jinho please. I understand and realize that I must have hurt you with my words. And I am so sorry about that. I never wanted to hurt you. I should have told them the truth.”

“Do you know how much happier you looked when I said you are dating this illusionary taller, funnier and richer guy? Do you realize how relieved you were when they showed you respect for dating an idol? Do you get it finally? I love you so incredibly. But this is me. Only this much. I cannot give you more. I am working hard to get there. I might be there someday. But it won’t change facts. I am Jo Jinho, I am 5.6. I don't look like a model. I don’t have money. But I love you. That’s all I can give. But I am not sure it is enough. I am no longer sure I can give you the things you need. I am not sure what I can give you is the same as you want me to give you.”

“What?”

Is this really how I behaved? Is this really how I made him feel?

“I am not saying we should break up, but I am asking you to reconsider what you want from me and from this relationship. I want you to be honest. I promise you even if you say ‘I am sorry but I only date guys above 5.8’ it will hurt and I will be broken, but I will accept it. As long as I know you made the right choice in order to be with someone who can make you happy, I will accept your decision.”

“No Jinho. You totally misunderstood. I don’t want to date anybody else. Who cares about those stupid inches?”

“You. It was only you. Always. Did you ever hear me complaining about it? This might sound cruel but I learned to accept myself and love myself in this way. And it was a hard and long journey. I won’t pretend it is only about you. I don’t want to lose this confidence. I don’t want to become that insecure man I was before. But you make me feel like someone who needs to be protected, someone who should be hidden. I don’t want to feel like this.”

“I never wanted to hurt you.” I said while my tears were falling.

“I know you never did. It was unintentional. But you’ve hurt me. I just want you to realize a lot of things can be improved and changed, but my height is not something I can modify. Please just think about it. If you still want me this way, just let me know. I would be happy to stay together.”

And he left me there. I would want to hug somebody, and I needed his presence but, I was kind of glad he didn’t see my ugly crying face.

He was so damn right. And I could totally understand the way he felt. If you love someone you shouldn’t make them feel like trash. And it was always and only me who had those concerns. The rumors spread by the colleagues and my dad’s stupid words. I am not sure how I really felt. Maybe I was just influenced by them but I was worried I might have cared too much about his height.

Everything was up to me now. He was waiting for my answer. Even after I hurt him so bad, he didn’t want to break up. It was up to me to choose an average life with a divorce lawyer’s trainee type of guy, or choose a different type of life with him. A life with Jo Jinho.

-|-

We’ve slept separately. It was better this way. I was suffering alone but it just made me realize how much I needed his presence, how much I wanted to see his face when I woke up and how badly I wanted to feel his arms wrapped around me.

I prepared a nice breakfast. I wanted to clear things as soon as possible, but food is important too. Kids, don’t forget to eat breakfast!

“Hi! Good morning!”

“Good morning! Wow. So many nice dishes. Is this a compensation?”

“It’s an ‘I am sorry for being a bad girlfriend’.”

“Oh thank god it’s not an ‘I am sorry for breaking up with you’.” He said with a smile. But I couldn’t laugh at it. I know he was hurt. And him trying to make a joke out of it meant that he was hurt more than he showed.

“I am not gonna leave you Jinho.”

“I am sorry I didn’t mean it.”

“Look. I… I… messed up okay? I understand that even if I had good intentions I’ve hurt your feelings. But I think we can solve this too. I wanted to say thank you for finally saying what I should have heard. The thing is that you were right. I was the one obsessed with your height. And the saddest is that not specifically because of you. I thought if I am almost as tall as you I can not be a fragile, small woman. I wanted to be smaller, I wanted to be the one who needs to be protected. And I couldn’t accept myself in this way. I didn’t see me the way I wanted.”

“I wish you would see yourself with my eyes just to understand how beautiful you are.”

“I am sorry to make you feel bad when I was the one who couldn’t love myself. If you could help me to accept myself as you did back then, I think we would be able to stay together. And if you still love me I wouldn’t want anything more than this. I want nothing less and nothing more than you, Jo Jinho.”

-|-

Magic Bra. I was raising my eyebrows. Did she really make a successful business with such a company name? But when I checked on the internet the reviews were praising her insanely.

Lucy_1127 wrote: I was invisible before. But when my longtime best friend saw me in this red bra, he finally realized we were supposed to be together. I love this bra. It is indeed magical. My only regret is that it is more times on the floor than on me. (Moderators please don’t erase my comment *begs*)

Hoetaekie828 wrote: when the owner told me that this lingerie has magical power I was sceptic. I am 27 you know. I don’t believe in fairytales anymore. But when I saw her (my back then best friend now girlfriend)... Wow! She was indeed a beautiful princess from a fairytale. Since than I couldn’t thank the owner lady enough. We are regulars at the shop. I totally recommend it for couples, and for those friends who are shy to admit the truth.

Jinho didn’t tell me why I got this. He just told me this is a gift from him to me and also a part of our therapy. We didn’t apply for real therapy. But we agreed to rebuild our trust and change things. As a first step he told me to wear these. I was kind of surprised. Jinho wasn’t really a shy type but we were both so stressed recently, having a time dedicated to ourselves was so rare like a leap year.

When I put on the ‘magic bra’ I checked myself in the mirror. I wasn’t totally satisfied but I looked so different in these. I finally saw someone who is brave and confident. For the first time I thought if I work a bit harder, not only on my body and carrier but on my behavior and inner values, I might become someone who is worth of Jinho’s love. I really hoped so.

“Okay, so where is my lovely and concerned girlfriend who cannot see herself as a fragile, feminine woman? Because I only see a stunning, confident lady here. I am sorry miss, but even if it is so hard to send you off I will have to ask you to leave because I already have someone closed in my heart.” He said when he suddenly appeared behind my back. Our eyes met in the mirror.

“Oh is that so? That’s a shame then. Are you sure she wouldn’t allow this one? As long as you are happy I think she wouldn’t mind it.”

“Do you think so? Am I that kind of lucky guy? Well… let me see.” And he is seductive gaze was wandering all over my body. “No. I cannot do that to her I am sorry.”

“Why not? Is she so nice?”

“Yeah. She is a precious someone to me. And I promised something to myself. I wanted to show her how beautiful she is. I need to keep that promise. So even if your affair offer is very tempting I have to say no.”

“What a pity. I think she doesn’t even know how lucky she is… Is she more beautiful than me? That can’t be true. Mister you must be lying.”

“No, I am not. I love her and she is beautiful. What if I prove you?”

“Fine. If you prove me than I’ll be leaving and won’t seduce you. If you don’t prove me you’ll have to have an affair with me.”

“Okay.”

“So, how will you prove me?”

“Just look at yourself in the mirror.”

And even if I was confident pretending to be another lady for fun looking at myself in the mirror while he was watching me from behind was kind of embarrassing.

“You know my girlfriend is a bit insecure and even if I tell her she won’t trust me when I say she is beautiful. You have some similarities. You both are stubborn and don’t trust my words… bad girls…”

And I couldn’t help but laugh a bit. He was cute. I was grateful. And I loved him incredibly.

“So, for example if I would say I love how she puts her hair behind her ears she would be like: but it is nothing special.”

And as he said it he put my hair behind my ears and put a soft kiss on my neck. And then looked back at me in the mirror. And I started to get the taste of this whole thing. He was so freaking hot. He decided to show me how he loved each and every part of my body. He put soft kisses on my shoulders and wrapped his arms around my waist without taking his eyes off of me. And this excited me. For the first time I realized it was really not about being small or tall, fragile or not. He loved me and I loved him back. And we were perfect for each other just the way we were.

-|-

“Sorry but could you please go to the hall? Someone passed out. Oh god these fans these days…”

“Sure, I’ll be there in a sec.”

It wasn’t the first time in this week. Fans were crazy about him. And it was good to see that he finally received this much of love after working hard for his dream for the past years.

“I am here. How can I help? Where is the patient?”

“He is here.”

“You two?” I asked a bit shocked.

“Oh! Our favorite girl. Please save him!” Member 1 of the bully duo said. I am sorry but after what they’ve done to me throughout these years I don’t bother calling them on their names…

I just gave him first aid and after he woke up I made sure he is fine.

“You’ll be fine now.”

“Oh my goodness. Thank you. You saved him.”

“You saved me. Thank you. I have never thought one day you’ll be saving my life.”

“Trust me, this is not something I’ve expected either. But what are you two doing here?”

“We are fans!”

“I am sorry to let you down but Wooseok is not present today. This is Jinho’s solo concert…” I said a bit offended.

“Silly. We knooow. We came to support him.” They said.

“Oh, if that’s the case… I am glad. I think he would be happy to see your faces. But promise me you won’t faint in front of him okay?”

“Yes doctor!”

“Good.”

“Also… we are sorry… for everything.”

And I just nodded. I was happy that they apologized even if it happened after so many years later. But in a way I was happy that we met them on that day. I guess I needed to meet them to realize being critical about beauty is just so unnecessary. Beauty is so subjective, and is not only about visuals and heights. And when I looked back on Jinho talking happily with his fans signing the albums, I knew that in my eyes he was the most beautiful person, and nothing else mattered.

#jo jinho #pentagon angst #pentagon #petnagon jinho #happy jinho day #pentagon fanfic #pentagon fanfiction

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fuckyeahgreenwing · 5 years ago

Text

Mac and Caroline’s timeline - Series 1

thisisntwaterstones asked:

do we think mac asking guy, "so have you given up on her?" at the party is maybe our first hint that he's pining for caroline? can we work out a timeline of mac falling for her? and/or of the scenes when he's looking for ways to get closer to her? or when he's testing the waters or working out whether she's into guy? they're like the ultimate angst/fluff fic and i need something cute to occupy my head aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

Note: For some reason I wasn’t able to answer directly to your ask and had to make a text post as HTML kept messing up and wouldn’t allow me to do a “read more”.

1x05 - “Housewarming Party” was a true blessing for Mac and Caroline shippers as this was really the beginning of Mac and Caroline’s romantic journey. This is what I deem to be as Mac’s timeline in series 1.

I have put this under a cut as naturally I decided gifs should tell the story, so this is a looong and very image-heavy post. May not be app friendly, best viewed on a browser!

Let us thank the student in 1x05 during their hospital tour for “sowing the seed”.

And so our tale begins!

It was no secret that Guy had been attempting to sleep with Caroline since her first day at the hospital. He even spread rumours about being successful to the staff which resulted in Caroline making him sign a confession which stated the truth.

At Caroline’s housewarming party, Mac asks Guy the following question.

Guy replies with, “Far from it. It's all part of the grand scheme. Anyway, she's TDTF.” Guy then approaches a drunk Caroline as she’s dancing with attempts to “woo” her and leaving her wanting more.

This resulted in these looks from Mac as he watches on. This is the moment he realises he has feelings for Caroline.

Fast forward to later during the party and Caroline has been enjoying a few too many shots of tequila with Martin (whilst he has been enjoying shots of undiluted orange squash, bless him).

Mac catches Caroline as she falls and does the moral thing and takes her to the bathroom to look after her as those many shots of tequila make a reappearance.

Caroline confesses to Mac that she has only eaten Hula Hoops that day and also tells him, “You're a very attractive man, aren't you?”.

Cue the romantic music.

Ah, romance. But he doesn’t seem to mind as they go in for round two, until they are interrupted.

1x06 - “Tests” brings us to the next day.

And Caroline is currently the “brave explorer returning from the uncharted regions of drunkenness”. Seeing her suffer, Mac tries to help.

It seems to work and Mac seems pleased with himself.

Now that Caroline has recovered, slightly, she wants to discuss the previous night, which we find out later she has difficulty remembering fully.

Knowing that Mac finds it difficult to express his emotions, and possibly not knowing how Caroline really feels about him, he sees Martin as a chance for a distraction and a way out of a potentially serious conversation.

After surgery, Caroline wants to discuss what happened at her party, again, and wants clarification on a certain “incident”. Mac teases her by not knowing what she’s talking about.

Caroline ends up describing how she kissed Guy, getting her drunken memories confused, as well as remembering that she kissed Sue White. Mac continues to tease her and finds the situation humorous until she says, “First you say you don't remember any kissing at all and now you're saying there was kissing in the toilet, which one is it?“

And before Mac can answer, they are interrupted by a certain Swiss anaesthetist.

Caroline, again, goes to Mac to find out the list of everyone she kissed at her party. Mac smiles as she mentions him and that smile soon fades as she mentions Guy. A pang of jealousy, perhaps?

Later, Caroline manages to pull Mac somewhere private and demands to know how the kiss happened between them. Again, knowing Mac struggles with being “serious”, he teases Caroline again by beginning to jokingly act out what happened. Things do finally get serious and there is some strong flirting and tension, although both try to act like the kiss was an “accident”. (Ha!)

Mac pulls away before they can fully re-enact the kiss, leaving Caroline hanging a little. She tries to play it “cool” and acts like she only kissed him because she was drunk. Hm, does she actually like him?

Mac watches on as Caroline leaves. She falls against the wall, weak at the knees...

Next episode! 1x07 - “Tangled Webs”

"Mac, do you think you'll ever have kids?” asks Caroline. Again, this being a “serious” question and his history with “Holly, the tear-your-life-apart baby-killer”, Mac manages to deflect using a pair of random glasses he finds.

“Oh, Nurse Todd, but you look beautiful with your glasses on.“

There is some playful teasing going on here.

“See you later, smelly four-eyes.“

“Oh, I always wanted one of those.” “What's that, a small boy?” “No, a remote-controlled car.”

And so Mac bribes a child, with a lighter, to use the remote-controlled car, and then passes the remote to Caroline.

“Ready? Live the dream.”

To mimic Mac’s words in the previous episodes “there was a lot of looking going on.” And again, more tension.

Mac pays a visit to Sue. He is not happy with the shift pattern which allows Caroline and Guy to be off at the same time, obviously knowing about Caroline’s date with Guy. Mac, in a roundabout way, admits aloud his feelings for Caroline.

The plot thickens in 1x08 - “Slave Auction”.

After her unsuccessful date with Guy, Caroline realises she loves Mac. She tries to set up a date with him, not knowing that Mac is now seeing Emily, or as Caroline calls her, “Emilily”.

(Note: At this point, this is where I get a bit ??? I’m not sure if Mac is aware that Caroline’s date with Guy ended sour. We also find out later in the episode that a hospital in Sheffield offered him a consultancy and that Emily is going with him.

Does Mac think he lost Caroline to Guy and thus stared seeing Emily? Did Caroline take too long to admit her feelings? Or knowing he’s moving does he not want to pursue Caroline as it would be easier not to? Questions, questions, questions.)

Anyway, Caroline pretends she doesn’t like Mac and was doing an early April Fool’s joke... In September...

Mac whisks Caroline away as she becomes increasingly catty towards Emily.

Later, Caroline talks about “Emilily”, bitterly, with Mac.

“No disrespect, but she is a bit posh.”

They spat back and forth before Caroline leaves, sarcastically saying, “She sounds great.” This leaves Mac looking a little puzzled.

Later, Martin goes to Mac for advice. He has “bought” Caroline at the hospital’s charity slave auction and they are going to go out for dinner. The advice Mac gives is... questionable. Is he jealous that Martin is going to dinner with Caroline? (Even though he most likely knows Martin doesn’t stand a chance with Caroline.)

And finally, we get to 1x09 - “Emergency”

It’s Mac’s last day at the hospital and a certain “scatterbrained floozy” isn’t too thrilled.

“This is stupid. You've got to tell him how you feel. What have you got to lose? You're never going to see him again. The worst that can happen is that he rejects you, totally humiliates you.“ Angela advises Caroline. Ah, friendship.

Caroline finds Mac and tries to put him off going to Sheffield, with reasons such as flesh-eating spiders up to six feet in diameter. (Hell no.)

She then tries to speak to him seriously. Mac tells her why he acts the way he does. (#Realness)

He finally agrees to be serious for one minute and Caroline speaks to him about how they failed to get on at first.

"You thought I was some sort of incompetent neurotic who went to a boys' barber, and I thought you were a rude, offhand bloke with lady's hair.” "Being serious, maybe I would have said that, but I wouldn't say that any more.”

Hm...

Caroline spends her day searching the internet, “trying to find fault with Sheffield”. She approaches Mac, who is with Emily, at his leaving drinks. She reads from a print out of her findings on Emily, accusing Emily of being a “fraudulent little tart”. This turns out to be a misunderstanding and Emily puts Caroline in her place, causing her to leave. Mac’s reaction to Caroline’s antics speaks volumes.

Instead of jumping to Emily defense, Mac doesn’t and he finds what happened incredibly humorous. This results in beer being poured over his head.

Mac goes to look for Caroline, who he finds upset in the hospital lecture theatre.

“Go away.” “Shan't.”

And now the two are alone and are able to finally admit their feelings for one another. (About bloody time.) I’ll let these gifs speak for themselves.

And then Mac makes the move. CUE THE DAMN ROMANTIC MUSIC.

After the long overdue kiss and finally getting together, they leave the hospital and some very suggestive flirting takes place.

And then everything was fine and lovely and nothing else happened after - oh wait, this is Green Wing we’re talking about here.

PLOT TWIST!

Their night is ruined as they get interrupted by Sue, who informs them that there’s been an accident at Guy’s flat. They head over in an ambulance. A very drunk Guy then decides to steal said ambulance with Mac and Martin in tow, leaving Caroline with very shell-shocked Joanna Clore...

And then the series ends on an actual cliffhanger.

But not before Mac smiles at the thought of finally getting together with Caroline.

#thisisntwaterstones #ask #green wing #mac macartney #caroline todd #well this was a huge trip down shipping memory lane

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calumcest · 5 years ago

Text

you and i were fireworks that went off too soon - chapter one

[ao3]

The tattoos appear one Wednesday night.

“What’s yours?” Michael demands, sounding beside himself with excitement. Luke frowns.

“What’s my what?”

“Your tattoo.”

another soulmate au...but this time its ANGSTY (but dont worry it will end happy because i am me)

The tattoos appear one Wednesday night.

Almost everyone wakes up for a few minutes at around three-thirty a.m., feeling a strange burning sensation in some square inch of their body. Almost everyone rubs sleepily at the patch of skin - wrist, bicep, shoulder, hip - rolls over, and goes back to sleep.

Some people, of course, are already awake when it happens, and some people wake up and don’t go back to sleep. Those are the ones who start shooting off confused questions on social media, comparing tattoos, trying to figure out what they mean. A few people start theorising - mine reminds me of my wife, they say, or, mine reminds me of my first love, and by the time the rest of Australia wakes up, the theories have ballooned from maybe they’re to do with someone you need to reconnect with to this is a clear sign from the government that they’ve placed chips in our minds and know what we’re thinking about.

Australia is the first major country to get them. As Tuesday rolls into Wednesday across the globe, more and more people’s thighs, forearms and ankles start to burn, until, by the time it gets to LA, people are buzzing with anticipation, almost the entire country awake at three-thirty in the morning, waiting for their tattoos.

Luke doesn’t notice his immediately. He sleeps like the fucking dead, so he hadn’t even woken up in the middle of the night like most people, and he wakes up late for work so doesn’t have time to check his phone for the fifty billion messages he’s received overnight until he’s made it onto the train, panting as he flops into an empty seat opposite an elderly lady. She gives him a warm smile, which Luke thinks is a little strange, but he returns it slightly tentatively, pulling his phone out to avoid any further eye contact.

His phone lights up before he even touches it, and Luke frowns as he sees new messages appearing every few minutes. On top of the messages, he’s got seventeen missed calls from Michael, twenty-five from his mum, three from his dad, and even some from Jack and Ben.

He unlocks his phone and heads for the messages app, barely managing to open the group chat with Michael and Calum before his phone is lighting up with Michael ringing him again.

“What?” he hisses, as quietly as he can, throwing an apologetic look at the lady opposite him. “I’m on the train.”

“What’s yours?” Michael demands, sounding beside himself with excitement. Luke frowns.

“What’s my what?”

“Your tattoo.” Luke blinks.

“Are you alright, Mike?” he says. “You know I don’t have any tattoos.”

“Are you fucking serious?” Michael says, now sounding incredulous over the staticky phone line. “Have you not, like, looked at your phone? Seen the news? Spoken to a single person?”

“I woke up late,” Luke says, a little defensively, even though he doesn’t really think he needs to defend not looking at his phone for an hour while he showered, dressed, made breakfast, sprinted to the station.

“Jesus Christ,” Michael says, and Luke can just imagine him pinching the bridge of his nose in frustration. “Trust you to sleep through something like this.”

“Through what?”

“Everyone got a tattoo last night,” Michael says. Luke hesitates for a moment, and then rolls his eyes.

“Mike, I’m not that gullible,” he says. “I think even I’d wake up if a tattoo artist broke into my house overnight.”

“I’m not joking,” Michael says impatiently.

“Where are they, then?” Luke says, slightly amused.

“Mine’s on my elbow,” Michael says. “But everyone has them in different places.”

“Right,” Luke says. “That’s convenient. Is this just a ploy to try and get me to strip naked on public transport and embarrass myself?”

“Why do you never believe anything I say?” Michael says indignantly.

“You’ve never given me much reason to,” Luke says. There’s a beat, and then-

“Yeah, that’s fair enough,” Michael says.

“What’s yours, then?” Luke asks, because he might as well humour Michael.

“It’s, uh,” Michael says, cagily. There’s a moment’s pause, and when it becomes obvious Luke’s waiting for an answer, he says quietly: “Duke?”

“Duke?” Luke says, because he cannot have heard that properly. “Like, Calum’s dog Duke?”

“Yeah,” Michael says, sounding a little nervous. Luke rolls his eyes. Obviously Michael’s just picked the first fucking thing that came to mind.

“Right,” Luke says. “Not really doing yourself any favours on convincing me this isn’t just a massive joke, Mike.” Michael makes a small noise somewhere between outrage and embarrassment.

“Check the fucking news, then, arsehole,” he says, and then there’s a beep and he’s hung up. Luke removes the phone from his ear, screen back on the group chat where Calum’s still sending messages, and clicks out and onto his news app.

He’s immediately confronted with approximately thirty-seven articles about tattoos. Blurry pictures of people’s tattoos, clips of news anchors showing their tattoos to the camera, interviews with people who claim they know what the tattoos mean, interviews with medical officials who are telling people to stay calm, the tattoos don’t appear to be dangerous. Luke’s first reaction is to bring down his notification bar and check the date - okay, May the seventh, so this isn’t an April Fool’s. It might be a late April Fool’s, though, he thinks.

“He’s not lying to you,” someone says suddenly, and Luke’s head jolts up to see the old lady opposite him smiling at him benignly.

“Uh, sorry,” he says, “what d’you mean?”

“Your friend,” she says, “Mike? He’s not lying. Everybody got a tattoo last night.” She rolls her sleeve up to expose a frail, wrinkled arm, and right there, in the middle of her forearm, is a tattoo of a policeman’s hat.

“That was my late husband’s identification number,” she says, pointing to the number underneath the hat.

“Oh,” Luke says, because he has absolutely no idea what the appropriate response to everybody got a tattoo last night, by the way, here’s mine of my late husband’s police hat and identification number is. The lady smiles at him again, and rolls her sleeve back down.

“You should look for yours,” she says knowingly, like she understands this whole tattoo situation. Luke opens his mouth, although he’s not really sure what he’s about to say - thank you? Piss off? What sort of a fucking alternate universe am I living in? - but then the train doors open and he looks outside and realises this is his stop.

“This is my stop,” he says, thankful that this incredibly uncomfortable conversation is over. “Have a nice day?” He’s not really sure why he phrases it as a question, but he doesn’t have time to think about it, grabbing his bag and coat and just about making it off the train without getting decapitated by the closing doors.

What a weird fucking start to the day, he thinks, as he starts towards the ticket barriers, but upon realising he’s left his season ticket at home all thoughts of a tattoo leave his mind.

-------

The first person Luke sees when he gets into the office is Calum. He’s wearing a scarf indoors, which strikes Luke as a little strange, but he doesn’t have time to ask because as soon as Luke walks into the room, Calum rounds on him.

“Why the fuck haven’t you been answering your phone?” he demands immediately.

“Jesus Christ,” Luke groans as he throws himself into his chair. “Not you too.”

“What?”

“Mike rang me trying to convince me to get naked on the train because apparently someone tattooed me in my sleep last night,” Luke says, powering up his desktop. Calum gapes at him.

“Are you telling me you haven’t seen yours yet?” he asks in disbelief.

“What? Cal, are you fucking serious?” Luke says, annoyed. He might be gullible, but he’s not that gullible. “I’m not falling for this shit.”

“Have you checked the news?”

“Yeah,” Luke says, swivelling in his chair to face Calum as he waits for his computer to turn on. “It’s got to be some kind of joke. A late April Fool’s, I dunno.” Calum stares at him as though he’s just said the sky is green, or All Time Low are a bad band, or something.

“Are you insane?” he asks incredulously.

“Alright, show me your fucking tattoo, then,” Luke says sarcastically. Calum hesitates.

“I don’t want to,” he says shiftily, after a moment.

“Right,” Luke says smugly. “See?”

“See what?”

“Mike came up with some bullshit too,” Luke says. “Said his was fucking Duke.” Calum stares at him for a moment.

“Wait,” he says, and he sounds a little strangled. “Duke? Like, my dog?”

“Yeah,” Luke says pointedly, in what he hopes is a I’m not that stupid kind of tone.

“Oh,” Calum says, and now he sounds somewhere between frightened and elated. Luke cocks his head, frowning.

“What?” he asks.

“It’s just…” Calum trails off, and shrugs.

“What?” Calum bites his lip, and then tugs the scarf down.

There, inked on the side of Calum’s neck, is a Gibson guitar with six numbers on it: 201195. It takes Luke a minute to put two and two together, but after realising it doesn’t say 2011-95 but 20-11-95, it suddenly makes sense. That’s Michael’s guitar, and that’s Michael’s birthday.

“Oh,” he says, and now he’s just confused. “Why the fuck did you get Michael’s guitar tattooed on your neck?” Calum lets go of the scarf and it snaps back up, covering the tattoo again.

“I didn’t,” he says. “It appeared last night.”

“Well, where’s mine, then?” Luke asks sceptically, looking down at his hands and turning them over and over, like a tattoo is suddenly going to appear.

“I don’t know,” Calum says. “Andy’s was on his arse.” Luke stares at him.

“I’m not getting my arse out in the office,” he says. Calum rolls his eyes.

“Go to the fucking toilet,” he says. Luke stands up, because it seems like until he plays into this elaborate prank it’s not going to end, and then stops.

“Wait,” he says. “What if it is on my arse?”

“Then it’s on your arse,” Calum says, sounding a little nonplussed. It’s Luke’s turn to roll his eyes.

“I won’t be able to see it,” he says, hoping Calum will get the hint. Calum stares at him for a moment, then shrugs, and stands up.

“I hope it’s on your dick,” he says, with a grin.

“Fuck you,” Luke says, as they walk to the toilet opposite their office. Luke pushes open the door to the first cubicle, and then pauses. “Wait, is it going to look weird if we’re in a cubicle together?”

“Probably,” Calum says, but he follows Luke into the cubicle anyway, closing the door behind him.

It’s cramped with Calum in there too, and they shuffle around each other for a moment before Calum hops onto the toilet and gets out of Luke’s way, leaving him to take his jacket off and then fiddle with his shirt buttons.

“This is the world’s worst strip-tease,” Calum comments after a moment, and Luke scowls at him.

“Dickhead,” he says, and then, having finally removed his shirt, he turns around to hang it on the hook on the back of the door. That’s when Calum gasps.

“It’s, uh. It’s on your back,” he says, and he sounds a little worried. Luke twists, trying to see.

“What?” he says, because he’s not that flexible. “Where?”

“On your shoulderblade,” Calum says, pointing, as if it’ll help. Out of the corner of his eye, Luke can see a crease of concern between Calum’s brows.

“I can’t see,” Luke says grumpily.

“Hang on, I’ll take a picture,” Calum says, standing up and fishing his phone out of his pocket. Luke stands still for a moment, until he reckons Calum must have taken the picture, then turns around. Calum hesitates for a moment, then thrusts the phone at Luke.

Luke sees his skin, pale and freckled, broken up by dark black ink. It’s a strangely beautiful tattoo, a bird carrying what looks like some kind of stick in front of a waning moon. It reminds him a bit of two of his ex’s tattoos, actually - he had some kind of bird on his neck, and a bunch of moons on his forearms.

It’s that thought that’s on his mind as he looks over the picture again, and his eyes fall on the stick.

It’s a drumstick.

Oh.

“Fuck,” Luke says, and he suddenly feels sick. No fucking way has he woken up with his first ever tattoo, and it’s something to do with Ashton. “Fuck. Calum, tell me this isn’t real. Tell me this is a fucking prank.” Calum looks at him like he wishes he could tell Luke it was a prank, and shakes his head slowly.

Luke feels his knees give out, falling to the cold tile floor hard.

“It comes off, right?” he says, an edge of panic in his voice. Calum looks at him again, and then shakes his head again. “Cal, please. I- I can’t have a tattoo to do with Ashton.”

“I don’t know what to tell you,” Calum says, eyes sincere and sad.

“What does it mean?” Luke asks. Calum shrugs helplessly.

“No one knows,” he says.

“But you have Michael,” Luke says desperately, “and Michael’s got you.” Calum hesitates, and then shrugs again.

“I don’t know, Luke,” he says gently.

“Maybe it doesn’t mean anything,” Luke says, like he’s trying to convince himself more than anything.

“Maybe,” Calum echoes, but he doesn’t sound sure at all.

-------

It takes three months before it’s decided what they are.

A huge number of studies are done in that time. Calum and Michael themselves volunteer for one, because apparently not everybody knows what - or who - theirs refers to. Some people turn out to have no tattoo, and it seems like people are only getting their tattoos on their eighteenth birthdays. It’s the only topic in the news for that entire time - the only topic of conversation, the only topic Luke encounters fucking anywhere.

He’s grateful his tattoo is on his shoulderblade, so it’s mostly hidden, because he sees everybody sneaking furtive glances at people’s necks, hands, forearms, collarbones, anywhere with visible tattoos. He dodges questions about what his tattoo is from everybody but Calum, Michael, and his family, because the words rise like bile in his throat - it’s Ashton.

(“Oh, Luke,” Michael says sadly, when Luke tells him, and pulls him into the tightest hug Luke thinks he’s ever had.)

(“Oh, Luke,” his mum says sadly, when Luke tells her, sigh broken up by the static of the phone line.)

(“Oh, Luke,” Jack and Ben say simultaneously on their group call, a moment of tense, awkward, sad silence hanging between them for a moment afterwards.)

After three months, though, there’s a huge press conference. They’ve worked out what they are, the authorities say, and they’re going to do a televised conference announcing it and explaining how they reached that conclusion.

Of course, the whole world is on tenterhooks. They do it in Europe, because it’s deemed the easiest timezone for everybody to work around, so Luke finds himself wedged between Michael and Calum on Calum’s sofa at eleven p.m., biting his nails almost obsessively.

Michael and Calum aren’t speaking much, either. Luke’s not really sure it was the best move for them to be together while finding out what their tattoos about each other mean, but frankly, he’s too focused on finding out what his tattoo means to worry about them.

At two minutes past eleven, researchers begin to file into the panel in front of the audience of journalists, world leaders standing behind them. It looks almost comical, Luke thinks a little hysterically, a row of men and women in lab coats to highlight their authority on the matter, the world’s most powerful people standing solemnly behind them. Some of their tattoos are visible too, but Luke’s too caught up willing time to move faster so he can finally fucking find out what having a tattoo about Ashton on his shoulderblade means.

At four minutes past eleven, they start speaking. There’s about five minutes of preamble that Luke can’t follow, lots of words like hypothesis and methodology washing over him, and then the researcher sitting in the middle of the panel clears his throat, pushes his glasses up his nose, and takes a deep breath.

“From these international, rigorously conducted studies of large portions of different populations, we have concluded,” he says, and nobody breathes. This is the moment. Luke’s heart seems to be trying to get his daily quota’s worth of heartbeats into a single second. “We have concluded that these tattoos appear to be soulmate markings.”

Luke hears nothing that he says after that.

Soulmate markings. The words echo in his mind, bouncing off every cell in his brain.

It can’t be right, Luke thinks desperately, as he watches the panellists take questions from journalists but doesn’t hear the words they say. Ashton’s not his soulmate. There’s no such thing as soulmates, and if there were, Luke’s wouldn’t be the first man who had ever truly broken his heart, who had left him almost incapable of carrying on, who had brought him so fucking close to the precipice.

He’d thought Ashton had been it, back then. He’d thought that he’d been so lucky to find the guy he wanted to marry so young in life. And then, three years later, Ashton had turned around one day, ashen-faced, and told him he didn’t love him anymore.

That had been it. Luke’s world, Luke’s mind, Luke’s heart, had broken.

So there’s no fucking way, no fucking way, that Ashton can be Luke’s soulmate. Luke’s soulmate wouldn’t have fallen out of love with him. Luke’s soulmate would never have pushed him so close to never seeing another birthday again. Luke’s soulmate wouldn’t leave him.

Luke’s so caught up in the sickness that’s washed over him, hands trembling, freezing and sweaty, that he doesn’t realise what this means for Michael and Calum until a noise pulls him back to reality harshly. It’s Calum, clearing his throat.

“Well,” he says, and he sounds weirdly high-pitched, and suddenly Luke thinks, shit. Calum and Michael are soulmates.

“Yep,” Michael says, equally high-pitched and slightly choked.

“Oh,” Luke puts in, because fuck, Calum and Michael are soulmates.

“Oh,” Calum says, like he’s just remembered Luke’s there, and then there’s two sets of arms around Luke, warm and vanilla and mint and pine.

“Oh, Luke,” Michael says, and he sounds so sad that Luke’s heart breaks all over again.

Neither of them say anything more, because there’s so much to say that picking any one thing would be doing everything else an injustice.

-------

Luke does nothing about it for five weeks.

Michael and Calum don’t say anything about it either, not wanting to push, but Luke’s getting kind of sick of the wary looks they send in his direction, of the whispered conversations that stop as soon as he walks into the room. They’ve fallen into it so easily that it chokes Luke up when he sees them, easy touches and glances that they’ve always had but have somehow taken on a new meaning.

(“When did you know?” Luke asks Calum one night over the phone, staring up at his ceiling.

“That I was in love with him?” Calum asks.

“Yeah.”

“I’ve always known,” Calum says, and Luke’s heart hurts because he’s so happy for them, he is, but he’s so fucking miserable.)

He jumps every time he gets a text for the first few weeks, thinking it might be Ashton, and filled with both relief and a little bit of disappointment when it never is. His mum doesn’t ask, and neither does his dad, and nor do Jack and Ben, and he loves them all for it. He doesn’t want to talk about it, but he hates the way it hangs, thick and solid in the air between them all every time he calls.

Five weeks is when he breaks.

He’s in the toilet at work, sat fully-clothed on the closed toilet seat, practically hyperventilating as he types, erases, types, erases.

Hey. I know we haven’t spoken in years-

Hey. I know we haven’t spoken in a while-

Hi. It’s Luke.

Hi. It’s Luke (Hemmings).

It feels fucking awful still, even after a few years have passed, to see Ashton Irwin staring at him at the top of the screen, not the stupid inside joke contact name he’d had for the entirety of their relationship. It feels fucking awful typing so formally. It feels fucking awful not knowing what to say to someone who used to know Luke better than anyone else. The whole thing feels fucking awful.

Eventually, when he’s been sat on the toilet for so long his arse is starting to go numb, he just types two words.

What’s yours?

He puts his phone back in his pocket, unlocks the cubicle with shaking fingers, and goes to wash his hands, because otherwise it’ll look like he’s incredibly unhygienic.

His phone buzzes as he’s drying his hands, and his heart lurches. He hastily wipes his hands on his trousers, fumbling with trembling fingers with his phone and nearly throwing up when he sees Ashton Irwin flashing up on his screen.

Ashton Irwin It’s you.

-------

Luke sits on the information for two days before telling Michael and Calum.

They’re at Michael’s, sitting on the sofa eating pizza (or, at least, Michael and Calum are eating pizza - Luke’s half-heartedly prodding at his), and Calum and Michael are having some kind of a heated squabble about whether tuna on pizza is acceptable or not, and Luke just blurts it out.

“I texted Ashton,” he says suddenly, and both Michael and Calum stop, dead still.

“You- what?” Michael says, after a few (incredibly strained) seconds have passed.

“I texted Ashton,” Luke repeats, mumbling this time. He’s gazing intently at his pizza, mostly to avoid looking at Calum or Michael.

“Did he reply?” Calum asks.

“Yeah,” Luke says. Both Michael and Calum inhale sharply.

“What did he say?” Michael asks. Luke swallows. He doesn’t think he can say it out loud.

“I-” he starts, but cuts himself off, the words too heavy for his tongue to handle. He shakes his head instead, fishing for his phone in his pocket, and chucks it over to Calum, who catches it deftly. Michael leans over as Calum types in Luke’s passcode - his birthday, because he’s too stupid to remember any other date - and there’s a moment of tension, of bated breath, as they wait for the message to load.

Luke knows when they’ve seen it because both of their faces contort into the same expression, somewhere between worry, confusion, fear, concern and sympathy.

“Fuck,” Michael says, staring at Luke almost hesitantly, like he’s about to implode.

“Are you okay?” Calum asks quietly. Luke shrugs.

“I don’t know,” he says honestly, because he doesn’t. He’s over Ashton, he is, but he’s never going to forgive or forget the way Ashton left him, the way he broke him and swept away, not even glancing at the pieces of Luke he left in his wake. Ashton can’t be his soulmate.

“That’s okay,” Calum says, calm and reassuring. “It’s okay to not know.”

“It’s just a tattoo,” Michael says. “Tattoos can’t tell you who to love.”

It makes Luke feel a little better.

-------

He doesn’t text Ashton again.

In fact, he’s almost succeeded in pushing Ashton into a corner of his mind again, shoving him back into the Do Not Open box that this tattoo business had let him out of, when his phone buzzes in the middle of the night a week later.

He reaches over groggily, aiming to turn off whatever it is that’s lighting up his screen and sending vibrations resonating through his bedside table, but wakes up with a shot of adrenaline when he sees the name lighting up his screen.

Ashton Irwin We should probably talk about this.

Luke sits bolt upright in bed, palms suddenly sweating. The only thing he can think to do is unlock his phone and dial Michael, knowing he’ll be up, even though it’s two a.m.

“What?” Michael asks, sounding slightly irked. Luke can hear clicking in the background, so it’s probably a safe bet that he’s playing a game.

“Ashton texted me,” he says, and the clicking stops.

“What did he say?”

“Uh,” Luke says, holding the phone away from his ear and squinting as the bright screen blinds him in the darkness of the room. He fumbles for his light switch with one hand while exiting back into the messages app with the other. “‘We should probably talk about this.’”

“Yeah, we should,” Michael says, “that’s why I’m asking what he texted you.”

“No, that’s what he said,” Luke says.

“He said you should talk about it?”

“Yeah.” There’s a pause.

“That bastard,” Michael says calmly. “What did you say?”

“Nothing, yet,” Luke says. “I called you first.”

“Tell him ‘nah, you’re good’,” Michael says, and Luke knows he’s only, like, ten percent joking.

“Michael,” he says, tone admonishing, but his stomach feels a little lighter. Knowing he’s got Michael and Calum on his side - fiercely on his side - makes it feel a lot less scary, a lot easier to handle.

“Well, what do you want to say?” Michael asks.

“I don’t know,” Luke says. He’s fantasised about this so many times since they broke up - about Ashton texting him, about Luke having the power to say no, or say yes - but he’s never decided on a resolute response in his daydreams.

“You don’t have to reply,” Michael says. “You don’t owe him shit.”

“I know,” Luke says, and it comforts him, somehow. “Maybe I won’t.”

“I’ll reply for you,” Michael says, and then there’s more clicking. “Just give me a few minutes to look up how to say ‘go fuck yourself’ in at least forty different languages.” Luke laughs at that, the knot in his stomach loosening considerably.

“I can’t fucking believe this,” he says, because now that he’s talking about it, now that it’s not just in his own head and his own heart, it feels a lot less frightening. “What a fucking joke. We get soulmates, and mine’s Ashton?”

“That’s what you get for saying my fringe was ugly in Year Seven,” Michael says.

“It was ugly.”

“Well, now something else terrible is going to happen to you,” Michael says cheerfully.

“What’s worse than waking up with a giant tattoo about Ashton on my back?” Luke says.

“Having to speak to him again,” Michael says. Luke doesn’t really think he can argue with that.

“I’m going to turn my phone off,” he says, stifling a yawn, because now that the adrenaline’s subsided, the exhaustion is kicking in again.

“You should just block him,” Michael suggests. Luke is sorely tempted for a moment, but then sighs.

“I’ll deal with it tomorrow,” he says, because it’s too late, and he’s not thinking straight, and he doesn’t want to do something he’ll regret. “Thanks for listening to me, Mikey.”

“Always,” Michael says, with a sincerity Luke didn’t know he had in him. “But you’re going to have to pay me for my services in food.”

“I’ll cook for you,” Luke says.

“I said food, not chargrilled remnants of what used to be pasta,” Michael says.

“I can cook pasta,” Luke protests.

“‘Cook’ is a bit of a strong word to describe what you can do with pasta,” Michael says.

“Arsehole,” Luke says, but he’s smiling.

“Love you too,” Michael says, and Luke can hear the grin in his voice. “Go to bed.”

“Alright, mum,” Luke grumbles. “Night.”

“Night,” Michael says, and then he hangs up, and Luke’s suddenly all too aware of the silence and darkness and sheer loneliness of his room.

He switches his phone off, rolls over, and lets the warm feeling of knowing Michael’s there for him envelop him, eventually drifting off to sleep.

-------

“So,” Calum says, when Luke walks into work the next morning, exhausted and late. He’s swivelled around in his chair to face Luke, fingers steepled against his chin like he’s deep in thought. “Did you text him back?” Luke scowls.

“I wish Michael would let me tell you things myself,” he says, slamming his bag onto his desk with a little more force than strictly necessary.

“Did you?” Calum asks again. Luke shakes his head, throwing himself down in his chair, taking his phone out of his bag and putting it on the table before chucking his bag under his desk.

“I don’t know if I want to,” he says.

“Fair enough,” Calum says, with a shrug. Luke bites his lip.

“Do you think I should?” Calum shrugs again.

“I think you should do what feels right,” he says.

“I don’t know what feels right,” Luke moans, putting his head in his hands. “He’s my fucking ex. He fell out of love with me. How is he my soulmate?”

“Maybe he’s, like, a platonic soulmate?” Calum offers, and then recoils in the heat of the glare Luke sends his way.

“Ashton’s not really high up on the list of people I’m looking to be friends with,” Luke says. Calum looks like he’s about to say something, but then Luke’s phone buzzes. He looks over, half-expecting it to be Michael, but-

Ashton Irwin Don’t ignore me, Luke. This is important.

Anger suddenly flares hot in Luke’s stomach.

“Is it him?” Calum asks. Luke nods, and holds the phone up over his desk for Calum to see. “Are you fucking serious?”

“He texted me at two a.m.,” Luke says.

“He’s so fucking entitled,” Calum says, sounding almost as irate as Luke feels. Luke’s so angry that he types out a response without even thinking about it.

Me Are you fucking serious? You texted me at two in the morning.

“What did you say?” Calum wants to know, and Luke dutifully reads it out to him. Calum nods approvingly. “Call him a bastard next time.” Luke laughs, both bitter and amused, and then his phone buzzes again.

Ashton Irwin I know you’re at work.

Ashton Irwin Call me on your lunch break?

“Jesus fucking Christ,” Luke mutters, thrusting his phone at Calum.

“At least he put a question mark this time,” Calum says. “Fucking arsehole.”

Luke’s fingers are shaking as he types.

Me Fuck you. You left me like it was nothing, like I meant nothing after I gave all of myself to you for three years. You never checked in on me, never asked about me, never bothered seeing if I was okay. You just told me you fell out of love with me, and then up and left. You don’t get to demand shit from me now.

Luke erases it all.

Me I don’t have anything to say to you.

The typing bubble pops up as soon as Luke’s sent the message, and he watches the words form in front of his eyes.

Ashton Irwin I do, though.

-------

Luke’s not really sure how he finds himself standing outside in the biting early-October wind on his lunch break, finger hovering over the dial button on Ashton’s contact name.

He’s been standing there for five minutes, almost pressing it but never quite getting there (except one time his finger had slipped and he’d pressed it and then stabbed the ‘end call’ button about fifty times straight in a blind panic).

On the one hand, he really, really doesn’t want to talk to Ashton. He’s moved on from Ashton, with a lot of expensive therapy, a lot of leaning on his friends more than he should have and a lot of eating his body weight in processed food, and he wants Ashton to stay a part of his past. He’s worked hard to get to where he is today, and he doesn’t need to be flung back to where he had been.

On the other hand, this is kind of a big deal. They’re soulmates. Ashton was right, although Luke doesn’t want to admit it - this is something they should talk about. Plus, it can’t hurt to hear what Ashton has to say, right?

With ten minutes left of his lunch break and approximately the same amount of time before he has to start sacrificing fingers to frostbite, Luke takes a deep breath and presses the dial button.

It rings twice, and then there’s a click as Ashton picks up.

“Hello?” Ashton says, and Luke suddenly feels incredibly sick. He hasn’t heard Ashton’s voice in two years, not since he was telling Luke he didn’t love him anymore, and it throws Luke back to that place, making him feel small and vulnerable and pathetic.

“Hi,” he says, and he’s proud of how steady his voice comes out given the circumstances. “I have ten minutes.”

“Okay,” Ashton says. “You’re still living in Sydney, then?”

“What?” Luke says, slightly taken aback by the question. “Oh. Yeah.”

“Cool,” Ashton says. There’s a moment of awkward silence, and Luke contemplates Googling the quickest way to end his own life before Ashton speaks again.

“How are you?” he asks, and Luke can’t help but laugh at that.

“Are you fucking serious?” he asks, and he suddenly feels a little better, a little more in control. Ashton’s asking how he is, and he’s the one laughing. He’s the one with the power. Ashton wants to talk to Luke - Luke doesn’t want to talk to Ashton.

“What?” Ashton sounds a bit defensive.

“Get to the point,” Luke says, feeling braver and bigger with every passing second. “I didn’t call for a fucking catch up.”

“Jesus,” Ashton mutters. “What the fuck happened to you?” You happened, Luke thinks bitterly, but he won’t give Ashton that satisfaction.

“I grew a fucking spine,” he says instead. “Just tell me what you wanted to talk about.”

“Well,” Ashton says. “I just- I feel like we should talk about the fact that we’re...y’know. Soulmates.”

“I don’t have anything to say about it,” Luke says.

“Are you serious, Luke?” Ashton says, sounding slightly pissed off, and Luke’s caught off-guard for a moment, hearing his name in Ashton’s familiar yet strange voice again.

“Yeah,” Luke says, and he can’t help the bitterness that tinges his tone. “You fucking left, Ashton, and it’s been two years. What the fuck am I supposed to have to say to you?”

“We’re soulmates,” Ashton says, like that’s supposed to mean something to Luke.

“Oh, what, so you wouldn’t have fallen out of love with me if you got a fucking tattoo a few years earlier?” Luke says, fury swirling in his chest. “You needed a bit of ink to tell you who to love?”

“That’s not what I mean,” Ashton says, even though to Luke it sounds like it’s exactly what he means.

“Right,” Luke says sarcastically. “What’s the point in this call?”

“To fucking talk, Luke, not have you bite my head off,” Ashton says. The fury grows hotter in Luke’s chest, seeping into his veins and heating up his muscles.

“Talk about what?” he spits.

“You’re my fucking soulmate!” Ashton says, voice rising. “Don’t you want to fucking talk about it?”

“No!” Luke shouts, and two passers-by give him an odd look. He lowers his voice, and tries again. “No. I don’t have anything to say about it.”

“I think we should meet up,” Ashton says.

“I think you’re fucking insane,” Luke tells him. “I’m going back to work. Don’t contact me again.”

“Wait,” Ashton nearly yells, and Luke, out of instinct, hesitates. “Uh. What’s your- what’s it of?”

“Wouldn’t you like to know,” Luke growls, and hangs up.

He lets out a shaky exhale as he tips his head back against the cold brick wall behind him, anger pounding through his veins, ringing in his ears.

Fuck Ashton Irwin, he thinks, blinking up at the cloudless sky. Fuck Ashton Irwin, and fuck the soulmate tattoos.

chapter two

#lashton #5sos fic #5sos fanfiction #5sos slash #malum #i spent So Long trying to come up w a good title and then gave up #i can always change it on tumblr #its ao3 that fucks me

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