#here's how akilah can still survive

[nataliesscatorccio]

YELLOWJACKETS 1.01 Pilot

[nataliescatorccioapologist]

Let’s investigate the new Yellowjackets season 3 photos!

First we have Tai, Van, Jeff, and Shauna at a funeral in the adult timeline, which we can safely assume is a funeral for Nat. Misty and Lottie are notably absent. I am guessing that Misty was not invited, understandably so because she literally killed Natalie. I think Lottie is absent because she 1) also wasn’t invited because she had a hand in Nat’s death and the others are a little scared of her right now, or 2) she is locked up in the psych ward at this point in time. Or maybe Misty and Lottie are there and just out of frame.

There are some other people in the background we’ve never seen before. Maybe these are some of Nat’s past sponsors? Maybe some friends or acquaintances we didn’t know about?

Card❗️draw❗️in❗️the❗️spring/summer❗️All of the characters involved are wearing light clothing, suggesting the weather is still warm and there likely isn’t a justifiable reason to be doing a cannibalism card draw for survival. So, there are two options here: 1) they’re starting to do cannibalistic card draws as a ritual or sacrifice to the wilderness, or 2) they’re drawing cards to decide something else. Maybe they’re drawing cards to see who has to kill Coach Ben?

I believe that’s Mari on the far left, and she maybe just maybe appears to be wearing the Pit Girl nightgown??? Not looking too good for her.

Also notable: Nat appears to no longer be wearing Jackie’s heart necklace in this scene (but she was shown wearing it in the early days of filming S3). What does that mean for the status of her leadership? Who was it given to?

There are some new people we’ve never seen before here. Background extras that get a plot line now like Melissa, Gen, and Krystal from last season?

This photo appears to be the aftermath of that card draw, given that the characters are wearing the same outfits as the previous photo. I am confused by the fact that Nat and Tai are now wearing jackets/shawls that they weren’t wearing before. Did they put them on after the card draw for some reason?

This photo strengthens the theory that this card draw could be related to Coach Ben, especially considering that Nat and Misty (the ones with the most attachment to Ben) are the only ones shown crying. Maybe Tai was chosen to kill Coach? Or maybe Nat was going to (since her gun is being used here) and she couldn’t do it so Tai took over? Also, the jacket Tai is wearing here (the hoodie) is the same one Nat was wearing when she was learning how to shoot the gun in S1. I wonder if that is significant/intentional?

People who may have drawn the fateful card here (as they are not seen in this shot): Travis, Lottie, Mari, Akilah, Coach Ben, and Gen. Could this be Mari or Akilah’s death scene? Or maybe Travis pulled the card which is why Nat is crying? This would line up with the writers’ implications that whoever draws the Queen card must die eventually (even if it happens many years later). Nat and Travis both died in the adult timeline, and we know Nat’s death was the fate of that Queen card catching up to her. Maybe it caught up to Travis too?

Either way, Tai holding that gun gave me chills I can’t wait to see how this scene unfolds.

Adult Taivan!!!! We were fed with all of these Taivan sneak peeks. These shots definitely imply that Tai and Van are rekindling their relationship this season, which fills me with joy. One thing that stands out here: in the street lamp photo, Taissa’s posture seems stiff and Van almost looks like she’s trying to keep her grounded/get through to her. Maybe this is The Bad One and Van is trying to keep her from spiraling?

Misty burning the reunion photo of her, Tai, Shauna, and Nat. I have a feeling that the others are really going to shun Misty this season and it’s going to make her a little (a lot) crazy. I think she may be burning the photo spitefully after being rejected by the others. Or she could be burning it as some kind of ritual/sacrifice? I could also see the possibility that Misty is burning that photo because it’s a painful reminder of Natalie and what she did to her.

Coach is confirmed to have survived the first winter somehow. And he’s not looking too good. Not a lot to take away from this photo, other than wondering what he’s looking so intensely at and how he has survived up to this point. I think he is definitely not going to make it through this season.

Adult Lottie well-dressed, looking amazing, and seemingly not locked up in a psych ward! So that’s great. Lottie appears to be outside of Shauna’s house in this scene, as the exterior matches and the address number (1285) is the same as in the pilot episode:

I also saw someone point out that the necklace Lottie is wearing here could be a vial of Nat’s ashes?! I feel like this is unlikely but let me tell you if that’s the case I will go absolutely feral.

And we have Callie and Shauna at the dinner table! Callie is a series regular now, so I am excited to see her arc this season and how involved she will get in the wilderness rituals. They appear to be studying something in this scene. Shauna has a book or textbook and Callie has a notepad. Could be just Shauna helping Callie with homework, but it also could be them investigating something👀

[perryabbott]

ben being the "only adult" hasn't actually mattered since the crash. it was subtle at first but then laura lee essentially tells him to shut the fuck up and the energy has a noticeable shift. there's a similar moment in 1.10 and all of that just solidifies it for ben: his "authority" means nothing out here. i do personally think some of it stems from the loss of his leg and his having to rely on the girls (i don't think any of them recognize that/outwardly think bad about him because of his disability, but it's a survival situation and it's impossible to not have that influence so much of their dynamics) but regardless, "adult" is a qualifier that's been meaningless for months now. we never really see ben have any interactions with the kids besides nat and travis (no, i will not be mentioning misty since she assaulted him, thanks!) like. he has spent his entire life being Othered. and he is still Other out here. because of his age. his gender. his disability. he is so completely and utterly alone. he is in the process of a mental breakdown. i truly don't understand how people are reading these scenes with paul as "flashbacks" or acting like they're willing at this point and not the product of his incredibly fragile mindset. paul's home was the cabin in 206. he could still hear the screaming. his mind is breaking down. no, his "gay fantasies" were not more important than shauna. it's a psychotic break. did no one see him almost pass out? (he's consistently had physical reactions to blood/injury. btw) does no one remember he didn't eat jackie, and probably hasn't eaten much since then?

does no one realize he can't exactly kneel in front of shauna and do anything meaningful because he's disabled?

but really, what can he even do? he isn't a "health teacher." i'm going to assume a lot of the people acting as if he has some kind of educational qualifications aren't american. i feel like it's pretty common in america for "health class" to be taught by a PE teacher/coach with no background in it who just plays video and reads out of a book. he doesn't have a medical history. he literally says, "i just press play on a video." no, misty and akilah aren't trained, but misty clearly paid attention in class and akilah's sister had given birth. they do know more than ben.

and no, ben didn't look at shauna and go, "that's gross." the blatant homo- (and transphobia) in acting like a gay man was just "disgusted" by childbirth is just disappointing to see.

if you really want to be upset by ben's actions, obviously, you can be. maybe he could have done more to be comforting but i just don't think he could have "saved" the baby. it was already dead. to blame him, to act like he willfully killed the baby/did not care about shauna, is just silly. to say that the disabled gay man needs to kill himself so the girls can eat him now is an insane take. to act like he needs to be punished for something out of his control is stupid. to single him out when he was far from the only one being "useless" is just weird. why is there a sudden lack of critical thought re: his character?

and can we wait to see everyone's reactions before deciding everyone hates him for it?

[cdyssey]

Yellowjackets 2.08 Reactions

CW: Cannibalism

The opening scene of Mari and Misty helping Lottie pee is harrowing. Jfc. One thing that it’s high time for me to give YJ flowers for is its unflinching look at the human body. It’s unafraid to show us what the body does and how it functions in every facet. It’s gross at times, and yeah, that’s the point. Having a body can be gross; what comes out of it is abject.

MISTY CALLING MARI OUT!!!!!! WOW, THAT WAS GOOD. But now I’m sad for Mari. All of these girls are so fucked up.

Every time Akilah talks about her baby nephew, I wanna cry bc I have a baby nephew and I’d do anything in the world for him.

NOT FUCKING NUGGET BEING DE A D. GODDAMMIT.

THESE GIRLS ARE SO FUCKED UP.

If I had a nickel for every time Taissa has called out her teammates for talking to corpses, I’d have two nickels. Which isn’t a lot, but it’s weird that it happened twice.

Shauna returns to the group and they’re all so happy and tipsy; just five minutes ago, all these women were howling and dancing in the flurrying snow.

“Well, I didn’t have a fucking tape measure.” KQKWDJFNWK

Misty: “I should have done it myself.” Yeah, lmfao.

Van immediately knowing that Tai is lying to her.

VAN JUST YEETING THE KEYS OUT INTO THE WILDERNESS QOOQKDOWEK

The girls are fighting!!!!!

Lottie plays the peacemaker here. THE SHARING SHACK!!

Shauna, anguished, disgusted: No.

That cut from Lauren to Liv was so good.

Jesus, that shot of the two Tais in the window.

Oh, my fucking god. Belt soup. They have to eat belt soup.

(Even months and months after her death, mere weeks after they literally ate her, they’re still consuming Jackie Taylor.)

“Lottie took it from her to protect us.” Such a goddamn fascinating line because the implication is that if Shauna hadn’t been allowed that catharsis, she would have wrought vengeance upon them all.

“Maybe Lottie dying wouldn’t be the worst thing.” Goddamn. It’s a mirror of Nat telling Jackie’s remains that she was the lucky one.

Coach Ben and Nat’s relationship is still one of my favorite things ever. God, I’ll never forget their moment in the woods at Doomcoming.

Ben seems much more invested and present here (and while he’s rifling through Javi’s drawings) than we’ve seen him look all season; Misty really got through to him!!

Oh, my God. She almost tried to eat the mouse skeleton. (Like Shauna, if Akilah had to, she’d eat a creature that she loved to survive.)

Taissa hearing the dripping as well hhhh. THAT FUCKING BLOOD IS TERRIFYING.

I always get chills when I think of the theory of Mari’s hallucinations possibly portending her death as Pit Girl.

Matt the Cop is the FUCKING WORST. Every time he says something with that smarmy grin, I grind my teeth!!!!!!!!!!!!!

How can he fucking look Callie in the eye?!

Go, Callie, for video taping him!!

“The other-just-as-problematic cop has your back. Congratulations.” I LOVE HER.

That fucking low blow about the cannibalism. KILL KILL KILL.

Eurghdhhdh, the photos of Adam.

WOW, THE GIRLIES (cough, Misty) DID THINK OF THE TATTOOS.

Jeff doesn’t back down from Kevyn, underscoring his utter loyalty to Shauna, the lengths he’d be willing to go to protect her, and I really do love him for it.

The girls are fucking SNIPING at each other in the Sharing Shack!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

“Yeah. I’ve had Van’s address for years. You could’ve just asked me instead of outsourcing.” AKQKQOWIOWOWWJJDNSJE. Goddamn, never change Misty.

OH, ALL THE SECRETS ARE COMING OUT TONIGHT, HUH? YEAH, I’M HERE FOR IT.

MISTY NOT EVEN HESITATING TO GO FOR THE JESSICA ROBERTS REVEAL!!

“And, fuck, Shauna, it’s not like you couldn’t use the money.” GOD GOD GOD GOD?!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

AND THEN JUST STRAIGHT UP CALLING NAT AN ADDICT.

CLAWS OUT TONIGHT.

Misty’s concern for Ben here is so touching, esp. right on the heels of her adult self saying that she fixed things, like she always did. She’s fucked up in a thousand myriad ways, at least a hundred of which the other girls are not, but it’s a testament to the show’s writing and Samantha/Christina’s acting, that it’s genuinely clear that she believes she’s doing it for some greater good.

Nat tenderly caring for Javi. 😭 So glad that young Nat’s getting some more screen time. I’ve missed her!!

“You’re a good person. And I’m sorry for… ever making you feel otherwise.” Sobs. Listen, Travis gets it.

“If I die, don’t waste my body.” Goddamn. Even on the verge of death, Lottie’s thinking about what’s best for the collective.

“Oh, wait, maybe those were her hands.” AKKQKWDNWJNSS. Van, I fucking love you.

“Misty, you are nothing if not proactive.” / “Thank you?” AOQOQKWOWJIWJWDJD.

SHAUNA’S FACE WHEN MISTY SAID THAT RANDY MENTIONED JEFF EJDJEND.

I’m so fucking glad this secret is coming out—all cards on the table!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Love that shirt on Elijah. Really makes his eyes pop. Walter possibly being a fuckin’ snitch. I think it might be a misdirect, though.

THIS JEFF NIGHTMARE JESUS.

“Why the fuck would I like it?” AWMEKKEWMSN

The nightmare told us something we’ve deeply suspected for a long time: Jeff loves Shauna, yeah, but he cannot fucking handle the wilderness within her.

JEFF KNOWS ABOUT WILDERNESS BABY.

THIS BEING THE FIRST FUCKING TIME CALLIE HAS LEARNED ABOUT HIM.

GOD GOD GOD

Callie reacting with absolute devastation when she hears this. She loves her mom so much.

This talk between Jeff and Callie is so goddamn tender and good. But his emphasis that she doesn’t have to bear her parents’ burdens is tragic in light of the fact that, Jesus Christ, she already has. From the moment Callie Sadecki entered the world, she was a product of all the effed up shit her parents had gone through, and now she just learned that for herself.

Shauna saying “Me either” at being unable to imagine being in the cabin without Lottie. Like, girl, YOU PUT HER IN THIS POSITION. WOQKWKWOWNDDJNDNDS. YOU’RE SO FUCKED UP ASNDNSND

Taissa: “You lied to me.” / It’s personal for Tai after all the shit she and Shauna have gone through together.

This Tai-Shauna back-and-forth is brutal. The reaction shot to Lottie just made me realize that she’s been quiet during all of these exchanges.

“… I probably would have fucking killed them.” Shauna’s unflinching honesty here is so, so good. Every uncontrollable impulse she’s had this season has been unexplainable to her, but she knows for certain that she would have killed, even if it meant hurting her friends. She’s done far worse to them before.

Hell, they’ve all sunk their teeth into each other, with equal amounts of violence and all-consuming love.

Oh, God. Lottie doesn’t believe in therapy and psychological needs anymore. 😬 And ironically enough, Nat is the one who is advocating for talking it out.

ARE THEY DRAWING CARDS TO FUCKING HUNT

OH GOD I THOUGHT THIS WOULD BE LATER

THEY START IN THE FIRST WINTER?!

THE QUEEN CARD

AND THEY’RE ALL COMPLICIT. THEY’RE ALL STANDING IN THIS CIRCLE BECAUSE THEY BELIEVE THEY’RE MAKING THE CORRECT CHOICE OF ACTION. HOLY GODDAMN SHIT

Tai’s visceral sigh of relief when Van doesn’t draw it.

JAVI FUCKING RUNNING TO HIS BROTHER. I’M UNWELL

NATALIE?!

WHAT WHAT WHAT WHAT WHAT

And they’re all in goddamn tears.

JACKIE TAYLOR’S FUCKING NECKLACE FOR GOOD LUCK.

I AM SICK. FUCKING JACKIE FLASHBACK.

THE GIRL WHO HAUNTS THE NARRATIVE; SHE WILL ALWAYS HAUNT THE NARRATIVE.

SHAUNA THE BUTCHER. THEY WERE GONNA SLAUGHTER HER IN THE CABIN.

I love how Ben steps out for a few hours and the team decides to resort to ritual killing and cannibalism.

“Wait. You’re gonna have to look me in the eye.” Shauna is visibly terrified. Jesus Christ. It’s one thing to carve up something that’s already dead—a deer, a bear, your very best friend—it’s another thing entirely to hold a knife up to the throat of someone you love and slaughter them.

TRAVIS SAVING NAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

NOT THE GIRLS FUCKING HOWLING AS THEY GO HUNTING. THIS MAKES THE SCENE LAST WEEK WHERE THE ADULTS WERE HOWLING SO FUCKED UP!! THAT WAS THEIR HUNTING CRY!!

This needle drop is insanely good.

Adult Shauna, right on the heels of the girls sacrificially hunting Nat: “None of that was real, Lottie.” GOD GOD GOD

“Natalie’s right, look at what we lived through.” NAT, WHO LITERALLY GOT HUNTED!!!!

OH GOD. LOTTIE MATTHEWS FULLY SUGGESTING THEY SACRIFICE ONE OF THEMSELVES. GIRL.

LOTTIE HAD THE EUTHANASIA DRINK ALL PREPARED. JESUS

“It is quick and it is also painless.” Unlike the death that those hunted will receive—i.e. Pit Girl.

“Misty, you did actually kill someone.” AKWMSNSNDNNSSN.

Van is the only one whose big secret didn’t get revealed in the circle.

“Why don’t you just volunteer to drink it, Lottie?” HOLY FUCK. THE DISDAIN

LOTTIE IS REALLY ON THE VERGE OF CONVINCING ALL THE WOMEN THAT THIS IS HOW IT GOES.

Ben, while ur doing the good work, your girlies are hunting Natalie in the woods.

Javi trying to save Nat too. 😭 And this is the most he’s spoken this season since talking to Ben in that one episode.

THE WAY THEY BREAK OUT OF THEIR ANIMALISTIC STATES WHEN JAVI FALLS THROUGH THE ICE.

THE GIRLS ALL STANDING THERE.

MISTY ACTIVELY TRYING TO FACILITATE THE DEATH.

“If you save him, the others will get you.” AND SHE’S FUCKING GODDAMN RIGJT

AND NATALIE STOPS STRUGGLING. BECAUSE SHE WANTS TO LIVE.

TRAVIS AND JAVI BOTH TRIED TO SAVE HER. I’M

THIS IS THE MOST UPSETTING FUCKING THING I HAVE EVER SEEN IN MY GODDAMN LIFE

IT’S A REVERSAL OF THE WHITE MOOSE.

I’M NOT WELL.

NOT VAN SAYING THE WILDERNESS CHOSE.

THIS EPISODE IS UNREAL. HOW IS IT EVEN MORE UNHINGED THAN “DOOMCOMING?!”

THE PROMO THE PROMO THE PROMO THE PROMO

THE WOMEN ARE GOING TO FUCKING HUNT ONE OF THEMSELVES!!!!!!!!!!!!!! IN 2021!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

TRAVIS EATINT HIS BROTHER IS SO FUCKING. IT IS?????

[dirhwangdaseul-archived]

is anyone gonna talk about how most of the dead characters will consist of nonwhite characters on the show (yj) now or what? the treatment of minorities kinda suck right now. travis died in the adult timeline. adam (the mexican coded character) was killed by shauna. javi died in the wilderness. kristen 'accidentally' died by falling off of a cliff. misty killed that reporter in the first season. and all these talks abt mari dying and possibly akilah dying and im like...? if you gonna do that you'd at least have to really really write well for lottie and tai's characters when your main cast consist of predominantly white characters alongside a handful of 'dead' nonwhite characters.

the writers wrote themselves into a corner honestly but as ever it was and still is an opportunity for them to like truly build up the horror by connecting with who the characters represent whether they want to accept it or not because im like very convinced they understand who taissa and lottie could represent but they prefer not to touch it out of fear of coming off racist probably but the fact that they remaines neutral about acknowledging their race as more than a wink like with the scenes of taissa becoming a senator and she was the only main character of color, it's fucking insane that we're dealing with tokenism in 2023 because the writers aren't brave enough to simply ask input in their white story like tawny cypress who fucking loves horror and her craft is there, simone kessell too like these are not amateurs if they don't want to ask for writers of color in their writing room and meanwhile we have jasmine savoy brown asking for scenes with akilah and taissa because that shit isnt even being thought of, its fucking weird it's what it is, but leaving that behind the fact that fandom can be so vindictive without acknowledging that the story does request like actual critical fucking thinking of its pieces however superficial the text could be at times like that is something fucking requested of the damn text considering just what people clearly come for which is shauna and jackie like suddenly all nuance is there for them, gone the minute people ask to pay attentio attention to the imbalance of the depth and exploration of the perspectives of the characters of color in a survival setting as if it could ever be paired up so easily with whiteness even as kids, way before the teenage years, that shifts, and like fuck, the fact that we have been prevented from seeing tai's family? lottie's? even the other dead yellowjackets families???? what does that say of thr focus of the story and the failures of the writers to present a balanced story like the scale is rigged, it always is but even so obviously presented here as you are, all we get from white fans is apathy, like that doesn't mirror the cruelty that is being commented on one way or another....... sick shit no lies......

and it is been a few of my mutuals and some posts in the tags which have acknowledged it as such and for all that fandom claims that is a space to speculate and expand on the text, once again, true colors are shown and instead of trying to build on the characters of color, they continously pull them down, like mary, like kristen, like travis not even in the way the story did as a tool for her suffering, he's erased for convenience like fuck.... the story shows how much it took to dehumanize each other to that point and i know it's fiction like i don't fucking teach it for a living but in a story that asks you to see the humanity in their cruelty and reason and childhood, people in the tags and fandom spaces of this show find it easy to dehumanize who they deem less worthy for free like... girl look at the fucking text ffs....

[novelconcepts]

81. for taivan

81 - Feeling For Them in the Dark

Habits are formed fast in the wild. Taissa can't even be sure how long she's had this one. Started, maybe, after Van's injury. Started, maybe, when the sleepwalking got especially bad. Whenever it started, it's ingrained in her system now: a tendency of rolling over in the dark, eyes still closed, hand stretching for a familiar body.

Most times, she finds fabric first. Van's shirt. Then her arm. She pulls, and however Van's fallen asleep, she rolls instinctively to curl against Taissa's side. Her head nestles against the crook of Taissa's shoulder. Her fist tightens around Tai's biceps, or her sleeve.

Most times, Van is right there, within grasping distance. It isn't safe to sleep alone. It doesn't cross their minds to even try.

Tonight, she reaches, eyes shut, and finds nothing.

A jolt of adrenaline punches her out of a sleepy fog. She's upright before her conscious brain can weigh in, her anxious voice cutting through the night.

"Van?"

"Here," Van calls softly. Taissa groggily follows the echo, shivering in the brisk summer air, to find her sitting sidelong the low-burning fire.

"What're you doing up?" She looks around, puzzled. "Wasn't it Mari's turn to keep watch?"

"And Akilah," Van confirms. "I told 'em to sleep. Brain's all..."

She makes a gesture either side of her head vaguely akin to jazz hands. In the shine of the firelight, her eyes look ancient.

Taissa settles in beside her. She'd rather be sleeping, but they have a rule about watch: no one sits alone. Anyway, the look on Van's face worries her.

"Was it..." She lowers her voice, pressing a palm to her own sternum. Van shakes her head.

"No, haven't seen her in a week. I've just been thinking. About Coach."

Taissa grimaces. "Why?"

"He's still out there. Just...hanging out. In the movie biz, they call that Chekhov's gun."

"In the reality biz," says Taissa dryly, "we call that unlikely. We lost track of him in winter, Van. He's probably dead."

Van scuffs a hand across her face. Her skin is blotchy, peeling in places. The constant sunlight is not agreeing with her in the slightest. "And if he's not?" she counters. "I hate thinking of him like some kind of boogeyman, but..."

But he tried to kill us once. What's stopping him trying again? Taissa understands. It's a thought she's had in the dark, too. And in the light. It's awful, and it's probable, in the event that a starving man with one leg has survived on his own could be probable, that they will have to deal with him again. Like Van's said: he's an element already introduced, one that must surely return.

"There are more of us," she says, "than of him."

Van rests her face in her hands for a moment. Taissa leans against her, tugging at her sleeve until Van tips seamlessly into her. She wraps an arm around Van's shoulders.

"Don't wander off like that," she adds. "Scared me."

She feels Van smile. "Usually my line."

"Yeah, well. Maybe we should reintroduce the rope."

"Yeah, well. Maybe you just want to tie me up."

Taissa smothers her laughter before it can rouse the others. Van gives a low sigh of contentment. The fire smolders on.

[itchose]

@feminaferitas said, "Maybe it makes me selfish. I don't think it makes me wrong."

It's been frustrating to watch Jackie these past few weeks,   noticing the way she seemed to turn her nose up at the tasks they've all been forced to complete in order to make it through another day here.   Akilah never wants to judge the way any of her teammates cope with their conditions,   because she knows firsthand just how horrifying their circumstances are and how easy it would be just to completely shut down,   but she also knows that without them all coming together,   without the help of everyone,   they'll eventually start turning against each other,   and that's the last thing she wants.   Maybe Jackie needs a push in the right direction  —    though Akilah isn't sure she's the right person to do it.   All she can try to do now is remind her what's important,   try to reason with her in a way that maybe no one else has.

❝  I don't think it makes you selfish,  ❞    she says quietly,   though she's sure the others wouldn't agree,  given the glares and the sighs that have been shot Jackie's way every time it feels like she's unwilling to help.   Akilah's not innocent from that,  either,  finding herself frustrated with Jackie despite the logic in her brain reminding her that she's just as scared as the rest of them,  too.   She takes a deep breath,   shaking her head as she thinks it over.   ❝  Hey,  I know it's hard,   trying to figure out what you're good at out here.   It's not easy for me,  either.  ❞    That's not entirely true;   her girl scout training has prepared her for this,   in some twisted way,   and she's doing everything she can to try to prove her own worth,   something in her gut telling her that's going to be important,  the way others may perceive it just as they watch Jackie.   But if it helps level with Jackie and make her feel better,  then she'll say it anyway.   

She can't shake the way it feels wrong,   being the one to say any of this.   She's younger than most of them,   and she's not used to being part of their team,   only brought to nationals last minute because of Allie's injury.   She's still trying to figure out her place here and when it's okay to speak up,   but she likes Jackie,   and she doesn't want to see anyone turn against her —  nor does she want to,  either,   so she's trying.   ❝   But you'll figure it out.   We just,   you know,   all have to do our part.  It's how we're going to survive.  ❞

[jimmycarterghostland]

Good Girl Mari Needs To Happen

Mari from Yellowjackets is an interesting character. She's not considered one of the mains(Natalie, Misty, etc) She's more of a side character who isn't quite one of the big players.

Throughout season one she was a one-note mean girl. Season 2 added some depth to her, showing her crying, and even hugging Lottie in the finale of the season. In season one, Mari was actually mean to Lottie. Probably in all their one-on-one interactions.

I doubt Mari will ever respect Natalie as her leader. Mari adores Lottie, and it will be interesting to see how Mari interacts with Natalie in season three. Will Mari let her dislike for Natalie be known? The only two people Mari seems to sincerely like are Lottie and Akilah, so I am sure Mari doesn't like Natalie either.

Moving on.

Here's what I want to see for Mari's character in the future:

Good Girl Mari. That's what I want to see.

Season one had Lottie on a path to evil, but in between S1 and S2 that idea was clearly thrown out. Lottie in season 2 is more of a Jesus figure. The personality switch was jarring, and that evil wilderness queen build-up from S1 was all for nothing.

Mari, though. She's got noticeable character development going on. She's still a jerk, but becoming less of one. When she hugs Lottie in the S2 finale, Mari tells her she's glad she's okay. Sadly, Akilah being involved in the hug too lessened the impact. But still. That moment proved Mari can be good. And seeing these characters devolving into ruthless people who hunt their own friends, it would be nice to see a character who doesn't. Or no longer wants to.

I want that character to be Mari.

I saw a post on Reddit showing a girl post-rescue who might be Mari. I'm hoping it wasn't. Because it would be great if Mari turns out to be Pit Girl and that she refused to draw a card, which automatically made her into the ritual sacrifice. Perhaps could've refused because she no longer wanted to hunt and eat her friends anymore.

If the show does that with Mari, I would absolutely love it. Before Ben set the cabin on fire, he was the moral, compassionate member of the group. This show needs a new one. Badly. I want that person to be Mari. If the showrunners go that route, if they turn Mari into a person who wants the murderous cannibalism to stop, wants them all to stop being monsters, and wants everyone to make it home, that would be amazing.

It could be realistic character development too. Unlike the jarring personality switch we got with Lottie. How she was talking about spilling blood in season one, but is all goody-two shoes in season two.

A lot of people are betting that Mari is Pit Girl. Many are hoping that she is. If she is PG, I hope the show uses my "Good Mari refused to participate in the choose-a-sacrifice card game" idea.

I need to see this girl Mari go from cold-hearted bully to cannibalism-hating saint. I feel like this is the best way the showrunners could use her character. I don't want to see her character used any other way. Unfortunately, my idea is just an idea, and I'm not a Yellowjackets showrunner, so I highly doubt everything I detailed will happen. But it is what I want to see. And I do believe the YJ staff will miss out big time if they don't make Good Good Mari happen.

The potential is there. Mari went from hating Lottie to loving her. She became one of her most devoted follower's. Mari cried after Misty lashed out at her(a show of softness that might lead to benevolence). And Mari's possible hatred of Natalie being the leader might just make Mari eventually dislike the whole cannibalism thing and cult stuff. It might bring her on the path to benevolence, one where she finds a way to survive without killing and eating people. Ben might find a way to do that. Maybe Mari will join him and they will live together in that secret tree lair? Ben wanted that life with Natalie. Perhaps he will get it with Mari.

I'm aching to see Good Girl Mari team up with Ben.

Mari needs to become a main character in the teen timeline. We definitely don't see enough of her. And what I want to see is Good Girl Mari happen.

[doomdays]

akilah has made her own mental note of every monumental date passed since they got here: the end of the school year, her mothers' anniversary, the first day of her senior year, homecoming, the SATs. it's her birthday that made her realize that as much as she wants to hold onto these things that still make her feel like a real person who gets to resume her life someday, it's getting harder to ignore the true reality of their circumstances. people are dying, and she's in no power to stop it, not when that seems to be the only way for her to survive. she's no stranger to self preservation, but it's starting to eat away at her, make her feel less and less like the person she was once proud of being, even though she's still trying.

@warpainte, "it’s funny how you don’t even notice the time go by. horrible shit just stacks up day after day."

❝  you don't keep track of the time? ❞ she knows they're all different, but she's never been sure what to expect from her. ❝ i— i did. for a while. it's kind of all blurring together now. at least for a while, it wasn't all . . . horrible shit. ❞ mostly, though, and there's no escape from it now — not after the lines they've crossed. she looks up at mikayla, then back down, hesitating for a moment before she decides to say something that may either give her a death glare from mikayla or, hopefully, something much more calm. ❝  hey, um— ❞ she starts, looking back up at mikayla again. ❝ i'm really glad you and tai have each other. ❞ she may not know mikayla as well, but she does know tai, and she knows that whatever really is happening between them is something that is helping her, too -- so she can only hope it's doing the same for mikayla.

[knuts-and-bolts]

yellowjackets as tma fear entities!!

Van- The Hunt: (obviously) girl’s rapidly going more and more feral and i love that for her. In an interview, Liv Henson talked about Van in season two dying on the inside and losing her humanity because she realizes that they have to survive one way or another. While many of the girls try to rely on humanity to save them, Van let’s her instinct take over and becomes more of a beast than a person. adult Van tries to hide it but there is a part of her (Lottie pointed it out in episode eight) that has died.

Tai- The Dark: my biggest influence on this one is Sammy. Tai’s biggest problem is that she sleepwalks and loses control of herself, especially at night. as an adult, she does so much to stay awake but still ends up becoming her own son’s nightmare. it reminds me of The Dark and how it’s specifically a fear that a lot of children have, and Tai has this childlike fear within her. The thing that Tai needs the most is reassurance and somebody to look after her even though she wants to be independent, which also just reminds me of innocence in a way.

Lottie- The Eye: My other top pick for her would be The Web, but I really the Eye fits better. Lottie has very big Tim energy in a very specific way. She doesn’t want to be a prophet, she doesn’t want the girls to follow or worship her, but she can’t stop it. Lottie can certainly see and understand things beyond what others can see and instead of being some kind of gift it scares the shit out of her. much like Tim, she wants to be martyr. Unfortunately, Lottie does not go kayaking. Something about her struggle with her visions and strange ability to just know things reminds me of the perverted nature of how Elias forces this power onto others.

Nat- The Hunt: While Van is closer to an avatar of The Hunt, Nat is a victim of it. Even before episode eight (when she literally is getting hunted) she’s the one they rely on for food, and reason she can do this goes back to horrific death of her father. The Hunt follows (hunts) her and she can do nothing to escape its inevitability. Adult Nat can still fell something following her, and goes to great lengths to prevent herself from thinking about it.

Shauna- The Slaughter: She says it herself a few times, Shauna wants to kill people. She’s the butcher of the group not because she’s good at it, but because she wants it. Shauna, sweet, browned-eyed Shauna, who tries so hard to push it down and pretend it isn’t there, wants to kill and tear flesh from bones.

Misty- The Spiral: At the very beginning, young Misty’s greatest fear is Loneliness. This might lead some to believe that she embodies the Lonely, but she doesn’t. Misty obsesses with the attention she gets and learns that she can manipulate people to love her in a sick and twisted way. While she fears loneliness, she embraces the insanity and deception of the Spiral, even as an adult.

Jackie- The End: Jackie is a girl who dies horribly. She is a vision of teenage girlhood and it’s innocence that hides behind surface level corruption. Jackie is afraid of so many things, but she’s terrified of dying. She’s so scared of her friends dying that she manages to survive for months longer than she should have. Like Nat, Jackie is a victim rather an avatar.

Laura Lee- The Web: Laura Lee fully believes that everything in her life is controlled by god. she thinks it’s her fault the plane crashed because she called somebody a cunt. When Laura Lee finally decides to do something about it, for possibly the first time in her life, she dies. Laura Lee’s every action is predestined, and when she steps out of line and does something unexpected, she burns to death.

Akilah- The Corruption: I wish we knew more about her, but Akilah is another victim here. She has a sense of wonder and joy even in the darkest times with Nugget. This is, of course, destroyed when she realized it’s been dead the whole time, and she follows the path many victims of the Corruption take. Like Matin with the Jane Prentiss stuff, Akilah physically curls up and tries to isolate and protect herself.

Ben- The Vast: Of course we need so Vast out here lost in the woods! Ben seems to feel the most isolated, which makes sense given that he’s an adult man stuck out there with all of these teenagers, none of which seem to know him well or care about him all that much. Even at home, Ben has nothing. There’s one scene that really sticks out to me about Ben being the Vast, and it’s when Misty stops him from jumping off the cliff. The best threat that Misty can come up with is to put him, thus further isolating him. even though he says “tell them” i noticed some fear there. Ben wants to be loved so badly that he hallucinates his boyfriend, but is so haunted by his loneliness that his hallucinations tell him to kill himself.

that’s all for now!! i’ll probably think of more later. if you read this far, i love you.

[lingeringscars]

⭐ as is tradition

Akilah- gigi because I think I could put her in yj if I think about it and there is something about her quickly viewing violence as a means to an end vs akilah not even picking up a weapon, ryan. i still don't know how we'll do that without creating a whole sep verse just for them or akilah lives au but yeah <3, leoni. oh you know nothing about this but YEAH THEM. she's actually described as walking sunshine but also has contributed to destruction. she's devoted her life to helping other people because she was saved from death + as a result someone died to help her. as for yj chars, I feel like we don't talk about shauna as much. and then gen.

Travis- if i don't say shauna here who even am i? can't explain this one as well but my gut does say percy too. or maybe i just miss him. I do think harper and travis would be really interesting because she has that directness and kindness where she'd be like dude wtf at his outbursts while also extending empathy to him bc she's been there re taking shit out on other people esp after dads dying. she would also initially want to help look for javi but would taper off as more time went by and it became unlikely he was still alive rip. tyler. that same teenage boy anger at the world, shitty fathers, not able to regulate emotions well and reactionary because of that. ryan. feeling responsible for siblings deaths. he's really good at just adapting to whatever needs you have so if you wanna talk or sit and drink or explode he got u travis. miller. being part of the in group to survive.

Melissa- shauna and van because there is so little and we can go wild thinking about it. her and spencer would have played a sport together or like if we stick with rival team, would have met against each other across multiple sports growing up. melissa would you have tried field hockey at some point. also harper. they can be snarky together. then ofc mari and gen. akilah vc: duh.

Allie- layla is my gut reaction because of how they were supposed to be somewhere that turned disastrous (the plane crash, her mom's car crash). i think allie would get completely on her nerves though and would Try to be understanding because it is a vicarious trauma while also like oh my god i can't stand you. christian would be like oh my god you weren't on the fucking plane. sorry allie. lydia. i'm not really sure with this one i was just thinking about them being tertiary to some stuff but still affected by it.

Van- finch or hope m if just because I am thinking about landon and van being friends. i just think while you were streaming would be such an important place for spencer but also going to the movies and parents that don't notice you weren't home. maddie because needing to be the one that takes on that caretaker role and isn't taken care of when they need it, running, etc. thinking about van & rachel having different arcs almost. them both going through something traumatic that results in a disability but while van becomes harder and deflects with humor, rachel leans more into humor and becomes lighter and freer. gen & shauna. harper + mothers that don't really notice you're gone. she wouldn't understand most of the pop culture references and would ask. like mari. love u van sorry about that. emma duval. reclaiming identities, disdain for modern technology after All That, almost dying 432 times. lucy and van should hook up.

Jessica- christian/adrian/sonya. i can see her having connections to their powerful families, basically. being hired to manage things by christian's extended family, covering up adrian's escapades, sonya's fall. idk! same with tyler. his dad was mayor so. you sent a meme for melinda but yeah her & may. doing what needs to get done, i can see her getting mixed up with shield stuff too. michael bishop because this reeks of nikita. lmao spencer. her loose connection to the team so trying to talk to her like those at the beginning of the pilot but like. she's been through shit of her own because of A so she's not gonna talk about that or the yj team but also that being a whole other thing.

Hayden- kaley. idk they could meet at college or something. striving for independence. christian. moving after traumatic events, family member (sister, aunt) that means everything to you and helped raise you. JAYMEE. they could have worked together but also they just have a lot in common. i have zero thoughts about lydia/hayden in yj but like why not. all <3 gen, shauna, van, nat, mari. jenna. jenna studying psychology and hayden for social work.

Callie- hey cal wanna meet your mom's friends? kaley, ryan. just want her to have friends. also they would listen to her talk if she ever wanted to do that. christian. family secrets are the hardest kind are they not? sally because closeted lesbians who sometimes do the wrong thing because they're just trying to cope with their families. thea because navigating Life. Mariana also understands going through it because of family drama. don't know how to explain it but lydia and callie + the way they interact with their moms. oh also emma duval and the way your mom's life comes for you personally (sorry maggie ily).

@itchose sent ⭐for potential dynamic combinations / always accepting

[manslaught]

lately, hearing anything about soccer just makes mikayla's eyes roll, now that she isn't expected to care about it anymore, now that it's over, but it's not as irritating when it's coming from tai. unknowingly, she was always some sort of escape for mikayla, because focusing on competing with her felt less suffocating than focusing on impressing her father. “ if you were so much better than me, why would you need to improve? ” she scoffs, leaning back on her hands for a moment. “ you can admit i'm better, just once. it's not going to kill you, ” mikayla teases, her smile starting to slowly fade as she decides to admit something herself. “ i wouldn't have told you this at home, but playing with you made it... fun, sometimes. less of a chore. ” that doesn't mean she misses it at all, especially not when it's the entire reason they're stuck here, doomed to die, but she can at least admit that she didn't entirely hate it, not with her.

“ yeah, exactly. this place just makes it... worse. ” again, she's subtly referring to the two of them, because even if being here definitely wasn't what caused her feelings to develop, it's definitely made it worse— forcing her to see more and more tai, but liking everything she saw, the way she was always afraid of. “ maybe you're right. i should just start with nat and akilah. you can wait for the nicer version of me. ” mikayla nudges tai's foot with hers once more to show she's just kidding, though she probably doesn't need to when she's here with tai, not any of the others.

she hates knowing she'd be welcome next to her, because mikayla's sure she'll spent all of tonight thinking about that, debating whether she should just ignore all her doubt and join her anyway. mikayla knows she won't, still too afraid of what might happen, but that doesn't change the fact she'll lose sleep over it anyway. “ kind of remember you offering for anyone to go up with you a few months ago. now the only ones allowed are me and shauna? ” she doesn't want to think about what that means, to be reminded of what tai said near the end of their fight yesterday, so she clears her throat, continuing, “ nobody else would go, anyway. they're still pussies. ”

mikayla chooses not to point out that jackie and javi also spent the last five months surviving this, only to die anyway. it's easier not to think about that at all, to try to move on, which is easier for her to do without any real attachment to either. “ you better fucking not. i'll be kind of pissed if you leave me alone with the rest of them. ” pissed isn't the right word at all, but it's less vulnerable than heartbroken.

it's a promise she's hesitant to make, being all too aware of who she is as a person, how quickly she can force herself to believe that destroying things for herself is the best solution, sometimes the only solution. that's what happened yesterday, after all, but maybe all that hurt and loneliness she felt after will serve as a reminder why she shouldn't do it again. but even if she was hesitant before, what tai says next makes mikayla feel more sure of herself than she's been in her entire life, knowing now that she has to do better. “ i promise. ” she pauses, then reaches for tai's hand, just barely holding onto it, still afraid to touch her after yesterday, but mikayla wants her to know she means it. “ you got me, okay? ” her gaze doesn't waver, even as she pulls her hand back into her own lap, ignoring how her skin feels like it's on fire, even from the briefest touch.

she holds her breath as mikayla hesitates,  but what she lands on is something tai can agree with, too.  after they kissed, it put a lot of their fights in perspective.  she assumed that meant because mikayla felt something for her, the same way tai realized she felt for her too,  but she’s not sure what that actually means for mikayla now.  regardless,  she’s right — it’s been entertaining,  no matter how frustrating.  ❝  yeah.  entertaining,  ❞   she repeats,  nodding once as she glances back over at her.  ❝  i would’ve never admitted this to you at home,  but—  i think fighting with you, like, actually made me better at soccer,  ❞  she says,  not meeting her eyes as she starts to smile.  ❝  — i mean, better than i already was.  which was better than you,  ❞   she adds, because that’s natural between them.

she looks away again, her eyes fixated on the floor as she shrugs her shoulders.  no, not really, because clearly shauna and jackie’s fight as fueled by things that have bubbled up over time.  and maybe her and mikayla’s fight from yesterday was the same — so much leftover, feigned resentment for one another, at the price of not being together anyway.  ❝ i guess not.  they were always going to blow up at each other sooner or later.  ❞   she can’t help but wonder what that means for mikayla and tai — would the kiss they shared still happen?  or would they graduate, let it go, and never see each other again?  maybe, letting it go without ever going there would’ve been the better option out here;  it would save her from the ache in her chest now, being close to her but not with her.  ❝  three people?  that’s a lot for you,  ❞  she notes,  teasing her but her surprise is genuine.  ❝ akilah’s helped me a lot out here.  be nice to her, and maybe she can help too,  ❞  she points out, nearly leaning to nudge her shoulder playfully again, but she stops herself, knowing she’s already given into touch too many times already.  

she wouldn’t need to protect her spot, because she’d have a new one next to tai — but tai knows that isn’t the right response,  so she has to accept that there’s a reason mikayla doesn’t want to go upstairs,  and she won’t push.  ❝ right. i get it, ❞   she says, taking a deep breath.  ❝  just— know that you’re always welcome.  ❞   she glances around for a moment before looking back to mikayla.  ❝  just don’t pass that invitation to anyone else,  ❞  she teases.

tai makes a face of disgust,  looking down at her lap.  her sleeves are covered in dirt and grime, and she knows there’s no way of actually ever really being clean again  (  not until they’re home, if that’s even still possible.  )  ❝  good thing is, at least we’re used to it,  ❞   she mumbles.   she looks back up to mikayla, hoping she can believe her.  ❝  yeah.  we haven’t spent five months surviving this to lose anyway.  i’m not dying, either,  ❞   she says, speaking it as a promise.   

she feels the same pull to want to reach for her,  her hand nearly twitching in her lap,  but she takes a deep breath to collect herself.   ❝   is that a promise?  ❞   she asks,  her eyes meeting mikayla��s.  she's teasing, but it's serious, her face reflecting that after a moment. ❝ because i think i really need you now, ❞ she admits, never the first to suggest that she needs anyone, but she does. she needs someone to keep her grounded, a friend to lean on -- and that was shauna, but it can't be anymore. what she feels for mikayla is far different than that anyway, but she is still the person tai wants next to her now, even if that means they're just friends.

[shanastoryteller]

Happy Pride!!! ☺️🌈💕 I adore your writing. Could I see more of Sacrifice is Free, please?

a continuation of 1 2 3 4 5 6 7

Ed is tired.

He knows Denny and Maria want him to rest, to give himself just a bit of a break between cities, and he doesn't want to but at this rate he thinks he's going to have to. Even Olivier is starting to sound concerned about him on the phone. He hadn't known she could sound concerned.

"Be careful," Maria says quietly, smoothing down the front of his uniform. She only gets fidgety when she's scared.

"Be quick," Denny adds, clapping him on the shoulder and letting his hand linger there a few moments longer than he normally would.

Ed nods, gives them a grin that he knows doesn't reach his eyes, and heads out for the city of Tsarr.

It doesn't take long to reach the edges of the city, the first point of the circle that he'd laid out yesterday.

When he and Al had come up with this plan, they thought the big flaw would be how to convince everyone he was the one drawing the circle. It turns out people are a lot stupider than they'd anticipated.

The line leads to a circle drawn by many hands and wind whips upwards, pulling sand into the air and obscuring the city from view.

Ed follows that line into the city, past the cyclone and to the center.

The Ishvalans are waiting for them.

Akilah is there. She's the last priestess left. There are two priests still, likely organizing everyone even now.

Ed glances to the temple and tries not to let his stomach roll at what he knows is inside. He doesn't ask how they choose, but it's always the priests and priestesses, always the soldiers and the mothers.

He wishes it didn't have to be any of them. But less of them is all he can do.

There's over a million people to evacuate from the city, hopefully soon to be on their way. There are a couple hundred peoplel standing in front of him.

"Elric," Akilah says, "we're ready."

A couple hundred healthy and young men and women.

A couple hundred people hopefully strong enough to lose a limb and survive the journey to safety.

The trick is to cut just like Winry taught him to. To give them the best chance of survival and to do the least amount of harm.

"I'm sorry," he says quietly.

She softens, but she's too grim to be anything but wry. "Thank you, Edward."

He really is going to be sick, but they don't have time for that. There are doctors here to help, at least. He won't have to do it all himself.

He's done it all himself before.

No matter what, it has to be believable.

[jimmycarterghostland]

GOOD GIRL MARI

Mari from Yellowjackets is an interesting character. She's not considered one of the mains(Natalie, Misty, etc) She's more of a side character who isn't quite one of the big players.

Throughout season one she was a one-note mean girl. Season 2 added some depth to her, showing her crying, and even hugging Lottie in the finale of the season. In season one, Mari was actually mean to Lottie. Probably in all their one-on-one interactions.

I doubt Mari will ever respect Natalie as her leader. Mari adores Lottie, and it will be interesting to see how Mari interacts with Natalie in season three. Will Mari let her dislike for Natalie be known? The only two people Mari seems to sincerely like are Lottie and Akilah, so I am sure Mari doesn't like Natalie either.

Moving on.

Here's what I want to see for Mari's character in the future:

Good Girl Mari. That's what I want to see.

Season one had Lottie on a path to evil, but in between S1 and S2 that idea was clearly thrown out. Lottie in season 2 is more of a Jesus figure. The personality switch was jarring, and that evil wilderness queen build-up from S1 was all for nothing.

Mari, though. She's got noticeable character development going on. She's still a jerk, but becoming less of one. When she hugs Lottie in the S2 finale, Mari tells her she's glad she's okay. Sadly, Akilah being involved in the hug too lessened the impact. But still. That moment proved Mari can be good. And seeing these characters devolving into ruthless people who hunt their own friends, it would be nice to see a character who doesn't. Or no longer wants to.

I want that character to be Mari.

I saw a post on Reddit showing a girl post-rescue who might be Mari. I'm hoping it wasn't. Because it would be great if Mari turns out to be Pit Girl and that she refused to draw a card, which automatically made her into the ritual sacrifice. Perhaps could've refused because she no longer wanted to hunt and eat her friends anymore.

If the show does that with Mari, I would absolutely love it. Before Ben set the cabin on fire, he was the moral, compassionate member of the group. This show needs a new one. Badly. I want that person to be Mari. If the showrunners go that route, if they turn Mari into a person who wants the murderous cannibalism to stop, wants them all to stop being monsters, and wants everyone to make it home, that would be amazing.

It could be realistic character development too. Unlike the jarring personality switch we got with Lottie. How she was talking about spilling blood in season one, but is all goody-two shoes in season two.

A lot of people are betting that Mari is Pit Girl. Many are hoping that she is. If she is PG, I hope the show uses my "Good Mari refused to participate in the choose-a-sacrifice card game" idea.

I need to see this girl Mari go from cold-hearted bully to cannibalism-hating saint. I feel like this is the best way the showrunners could use her character. I don't want to see her character used any other way. Unfortunately, my idea is just an idea, and I'm not a Yellowjackets showrunner, so I highly doubt everything I detailed will happen. But it is what I want to see. And I do believe the YJ staff will miss out big time if they don't make Good Good Mari happen.

The potential is there. Mari went from hating Lottie to loving her. She became one of her most devoted follower's. Mari cried after Misty lashed out at her(a show of softness that might lead to benevolence). And Mari's possible hatred of Natalie being the leader might just make Mari eventually dislike the whole cannibalism thing and cult stuff. It might bring her on the path to benevolence, one where she finds a way to survive without killing and eating people. Ben might find a way to do that. Maybe Mari will join him and they will live together in that secret tree lair? Ben wanted that life with Natalie. Perhaps he will get it with Mari.

I'm aching to see Good Girl Mari team up with Ben.

Mari needs to become a main character in the teen timeline. We definitely don't see enough of her. And what I want to see is Good Girl Mari happen.

[doomdays]

for so long here,   akilah has done her best to keep moving forward and not allow the fear to get to her.  that’s been harder recently as things have taken a turn and choices have to be made.   she doesn’t agree with everything they’re doing out here,  she doesn’t like the person she has to be to survive,  but she is desperately holding on to the possibility of their rescue,   of getting back home.   that’s what this is all about —-  no matter what horrible, awful acts they must commit,  they’re doing it for one reason:   to get back home.    she just has to figure out where the line is and when she’s allowed to speak her own truth,  but she has to be careful,  she knows.  there’s only so much she can say out loud in front of a group that’s already been willing to kill one of their own.  

@lingeringscars said,  “so what is it? the good that comes out of this bad?”

❝  we survive,  ❞   she says quietly,   not as certain as she used to sound when saying it,  so much of her hope dwindled.   her eyes look up to harper’s and she shrugs her shoulders.   ❝  i guess that's always how i've been okay with what we had to do.   it's about making it home,   right?  so----  that's the good.   the good is our families get to see us again. ❞     she used to be so certain in that,  but that optimism flickers in and out now,   and while she still believes they're doing what they have to so they can go home,  it's so much harder to believe in her words after how far things have gone.

[doomdays]

Taissa has always been the person Akilah looks up to most,  not just on the field,  but who she is off of it,  too.  That bond has only grown stronger out here,  and Akilah’s grateful for anyone she knows she can turn to,  even though things have definitely taken a turn for the worst now.  There’s a big part of her that knows she can no longer blindly trust anyone,  even though what they’ve decided to turn to is, in some way, purely an act of love — but her stomach still turns at the memory of watching Javi sink and Shauna’s voice telling her to stop.  Still,  she refuses to lose that connection,  because she’s well aware what could happen if she does.  Javi was an outsider, after all, wasn’t he?

❝  Maybe, but I—  weirdly liked taking tests,  ❞   she admits with a small attempt at a laugh,  even if talking about any habits from before still feels so ridiculous.  It’s unavoidable, though, considering the book that’s now been spared from the fire.  ❝  I’m pretty sure you can manage that.  You’re one of the smartest people I know, ❞    she compliments,  and it makes her sad too,  knowing Tai isn’t already there,  making a name for herself the way Akilah always imagined she would.   She glances behind Tai again,  taking a mental count for maybe the fifth time since they escaped,  nodding her head in relief.  ❝ Yeah, me too.  I don’t know how you can still manage the strength, but— we might not have made it out of there at all without you, ❞   she points out,  and she knows that’s not the first time that’s been true,  either.  She remembers being on the plane,  next to Taissa,  feeling like Taissa was definitely doing a lot more work than her to get that door open.  She can feel it, the way Taissa’s spirit changed after the excursion,  but she hopes that she knows how important she’s been to their survival anyway.  

Akilah trusts Nat, too.  It’s been hard to see her and Travis return empty-handed every day from heir hunts,  but she also understands the wilderness enough to know that if there was game out there,  they’d all be fed.  Akilah hasn’t always been certain about Lottie’s leadership;  she just knew there were things that couldn’t be explained in any other way than what Lottie had pieced together,  and there was comfort in accepting that clarity.  Knowing that she believes in Nat makes it all the easier to want to trust her, too — especially after all that Akilah’s seen from her out here.  ❝  Yeah,  okay.  I can be calm.  ❞   She’s always been a master of that,  even when she’s silently freaking out — despite almost letting it falter after their hunt.  ❝ I’m not sure about everyone else, though, ❞   she admits,  thinking of Mari,  how her paranoia has gotten the best of her lately.  She can’t blame her for it, but she hopes she can manage to give Mari some comfort anyway.  ❝ —- Sure, an inventory.  Feels like we got every blanket out of there that we could.  ❞   But the rest left unsaid is obvious:  that still won’t do them much good, anyway. ❝  I’m going to be honest,  I can’t even think about what’s most important now other than being warm.  ❞   And she should, she knows.  She’s the Girl Scout, but Girl Scouts definitely didn’t prepare her for this level of survival.

@doomdays is too... nice. In another life, it might have bothered Tai a little, seeing as she seemed to let people walk all over her and drown out her voice, if only because she wanted more for her. It's the very antithesis of who Tai has trained herself to be as a person. She pushes her way into the center, demands the spotlight and attention whether it's deserved or not, and she forces people to acknowledge her for it. It doesn't win her many friends, and she knows the things that people have to say about her, but she'd rather be called a bitch than having them speculate about other things. A part of her wants to tell Akilah to toughen the hell up. The quiet, go with the flow teammate might have been an asset in public high school, but out here, it is going to get her killed.

And just like that, any anger or irritation shrivels up and turns into a cold fear, because she realizes that she's not actually annoyed with the younger girl. Tai's terrified no matter what she does, it won't be enough to save Akilah because she is a good person, a hell of a lot better than who Tai is, and the most brutal lesson they've learned over and over again? The good ones don't generally make it. She thinks of all of the horror movies that Van has made her sit through, slashers and ghost stories and evil men who just want to hurt people. In Tai's mind, the survivors are the ones who are willing to be just as bad as the killer to make it to the credits. She tries to imagine Akilah with Shauna's knife, and it makes her nauseous. But how else will she survive this harsh world they've found themselves in?

Tai meets Akilah's eyes and shakes her head. "It's not a bore, even if the SATs are a scam. Still have to remember these words to impress the folks at Howard," she says, trying to manage a cocky grin like she might have in the past. It sounds silly to care about what some assholes at a liberal arts HBCU would think about her after going through hell, but it's the only way she knows how to contextualize it. They're standing in the smoldering remains of the cabin that has saved their lives up until this point, and she's worried about what a bunch of hacks are going to say in a future that she's not entirely sure still exists.

"I'm just glad we all made it."

Tai's eyes go back to search for Van unconsciously at that, needing that reminder that they had, in fact, all made it. But behind Van is Travis, who is staring morosely into thin air and Tai's throat feels tight. Her eyes flicker to Shauna, who is quietly simmering off to the side and thinks of the girl who used to be permanently attached to Shauna's side. Even for the people who are left standing, Tai can see how the Wilderness has changed them all, taking bits and pieces of them until all that is left is the personification of desperation.

She follows Akilah's lead and begins to scoop clean snow into one of the pots that they'd saved. Tai doesn't know how to answer her question though, and she lets the silence fall between them uncomfortably. "If anyone will know, it's her." It's all she can really say, but Tai also has connected the dots already. Natalie and Travis have hiked all over these mountains looking for food and Javi, and found nothing. No shelter, no game, nothing that suggests any living creature is capable of surviving out there. And they'd watched as the only person who actually did manage to survive the elements, drowned in the face of their passivity. If Tai believed in karma, this would be a pretty stellar example of it. "The best thing we can do to help her is to just stay calm. We should also get a count of everything we managed to grab from the cabin. If we're missing something important, we'll want to know sooner rather than later."