#here i go writing meta about my own fics that i haven't even finished yet again

[lunar-years]

So I know people have talked about how Roy's anger and ways of dealing with that anger might trigger some stuff with Jamie given his history with abuse which is so very true, BUT I also think there's something worth exploring in the idea that the way Jamie deals with his father and processes his abuse might trigger Roy. We don't know exactly what happened with Roy's sister and her husband and Phoebe, but we certainly know how angry Roy is about it in canon. And I also think it's not an unfair assumption to think Roy carries around quite a lot of guilt over that too, guilt that he didn't see it sooner and guilt because he thinks he maybe wasn't there for his sister enough, or in the right ways, when it mattered. Guilt that he didn't help her get out of the situation sooner, even though much of that is wrapped up in the way abuse victims often conceal what they're going through from the people who care about them. Undoubtedly there were probably things his sister was keeping from him about the situation when it was happening, but knowing Roy I can also see him reflecting back and placing the blame entirely on himself for not being involved enough in her life to have seen it coming.

So I think like, the idea that Jamie would not only invite his father back into his life but also not tell anyone (not tell Roy) anything about it might genuinely be so triggering for Roy in that sense. It's not only that he's concerned about Jamie's wellbeing (though obviously that always takes priority) it's also that he feels like he's missed something again, something critical, and that a situation he's always feared happening with Phoebe & his sister and her ex is now playing out with this other person he loves. At Wembley he could handle it because it was James intruding where he didn't belong, and Roy had something to do immediately, a place to step in and a role to play. it would be sooooo much harder for him, I think, to comprehend Jamie being the one to reach out to James and blocking Roy out from helping him. Because then it's not only Jamie's wellbeing that scares him but also the fact that he feels completely helpless to do a anything about it, like there's no purpose for him and no way to make the situation any better or easier. ahhhhh.

[hyperions-light]

2024 Writing Roundup

Yeeeehaw it's writing roundup time! Thank you for the tag @uchidachi! <3

words posted: 41,838, plus miscellaneous amount of words on Tumblr

additional words written: uhhhh apprx 22,700, give or take. Probably give, bc I'm not counting any of the meta on here

fandoms: All published is for One Piece, almost everything unpublished is Dragon Age + there's some original something for Elden Ring (probably not going to clean that up tbh)

highest kudos: The Road(trip) to Hell is Paved With Questionable Decision Making at 103... which, yeah, it's the most accessible of them lol

highest hit one-shot: catalyst at 513-- pretty good, considering I only posted it at the end of October. Maybe cheating because it needs a sequel? But I haven't written it, so for now it remains an OS

new things I tried: I did two zines and three events (BB, Corazon Week and Fight)! They were fun, but I'll probably mostly focus on making my own stuff this next year. And I expect to mostly be hanging around the DA fandom, as opposed to OP

fic I spent the most time on: I doooon't know, but I think it was the ascent? High concept, difficult to write and wrangle into something resembling what I wanted. Good exercise, though.

fic I spent the least time on: I think it was resentment-- I do really love this one, actually, but I didn't spend too much time on it because it came together in like a day? Even the editing was quick.

favourite thing I wrote: Probably it deepens like a coastal shelf, which is an AU of someone else's fic lol, so very niche, but I loooove writing about terrible people and family drama. And I got to quote poetry. And make people cry <3

favourite thing(s) I read: I've really loved reading all of your fics that you all keep sending for BW fic comments Saturdays! And I enjoy hearing about everyone's Rooks, too <3 I don't feel it's fair to do 'best of' fics but I thought I'd pull a few that have lower interaction rates for various reasons; the BW fandom is soooo talented, though, my recommendation is to give whatever sounds interesting to you a shot!

pray for rain by mafalda_157 who I believe is @darethshirl on here? Elgar'nan/Solas, Mythal/Elgar'nan, dubcon + politics with especially strong character voices

Five, Seven, Five by theharellan, @queenaeducan Really beautiful and poetic Solas&Cadash!Inquisitor gen fic

The Memory of Her Scent by Vespaer, @vespaer77 Angsty Solavellan between games, gorgeously written

Mien'Harel by bodysnatch3r, @bodysnatch3r canon divergence Felassan/Solas, really stunning prose and well-realized world. Also recommend the Heistverse series, for any Hobbit enthusiasts!

(please don't take this as like... me not endorsing the other fics, I'm really enjoying reading everyone's <3 I just went off the top of my head + pulled stuff I think may have been somewhat overlooked. Also I am not even done with last week's set yet)

In every other fandom I peruse I am an Old Man Yaoi enjoyer, so I also will always recommend A Reflection of Starlight (reread) for Les Mis, and, for those of you interested in OP fic, the works of spaceliquid, ArgelTal (@chaoticargeltal-- they wrote this fic based on a prompt of mine & did an incredible job!), and Harmonica_Smile/Rescue_Remedy (@chromatic-lamina) who all write beautifully <3

writing goals for 2025: Need to finish that original thing I'm working on by... August?? I should check lol. And then I need to publish as much of this DA stuff as I can that's sitting in drafts lol... will the foursome be first?? unclear

new works: idk, Leth's thing I'm writing, probably some Lucanis&Bellara stuff, some Neve/Rook/Lucanis, and the Rook/Teia/Viago/Lucanis WT: speak of me in the language of reverence

tagging: I'm actually not sure if it's going to let me tag anyone else BUT @covertleathers, @thedissonantverses, @taashyvashedan, @chromatic-lamina, @wardensantoineandevka, @biowaredisasterbisexual, @mageofquandrix + anyone else who would like to do this!

[harukamitsuki]

Hello! Having a bunch of an unfinished WIPs is so relatable. Like, I literally started writing a MHA Fic where Hawks properly yet secretly joins the LOV but it's told exclusively from Tokoyami's POV also Aoyama is here and Tokoyama's endgame. But like I haven't touched it since like September and I'm now even thinking about changing how/when the fic starts. And not to mention my unpublished LOV Medic!Natsuo WIP and my own MHA Rewrite (which will be actually posted to @mharewrite-purpose in the near future). Anyways, back to the Forced Team-Up AU :P

~

I can't help but imagine the silence that filled the air after the remaining class 1-A finished caught up learning about the Tartarus Break-In. A lot of them are teary-eyed and some of them can't help but feel guilty. For all, sleeping through that mess. For some not being there for the Izucrew. For others not following them during the original raid. And for One, a guilt that be goes much further back before UA.

Obviously, there is clips in the Shoowaysha Publishing article of the LOV and Izucrew helping each other. Todoroki putting a wall of ice between Dabi and a random hero. Mr. Compress using his quirk on Aoyama, saving him from a life-ending blow from a so-called hero, but not before that same hero ended up destroying Aoyama's belt, the hero's quirk causing the belt explode (that part of the clip got a particularly loud sob from Hagakure) etc etc. However, since that Shoowaysha Publishing article comes written by a Meta Liberation Army member (though one could argue all Shoowaysha Publishing employees are apart of the MLA), it is not unbiased. The article is inherently critical of heroics, of the HSPC, of the heroes that participated in trying to stop the Tartarus Break-In, and most importantly it's critical of quirks, with of course calling them "Meta Abilities" instead of "Quirks".

And that gets an eyebrow raised from Nedzu, All Might, Vlad, and Aizawa (and whatever other staff that's present) when some of Class 1-A (Mina and the students that has been able to keep it together. Kirishima staying behind at the dorms to console and keep an eye on the students that brokedown) decided to go to them. To inform remind the teachers of the events that has already unfolded. There's a heaviness in staff room and that heaviness only grows when Mina and her classmates leave.

That is when All Might's phone goes off. Breaking the tension with that all too familiar ringtone. All Might's stammers out an apology. Yes, he does think it's Inko calling him, but to his suprise, it's actually the one and only David Shield. (Internally, there’s a bit of disappointment when he realizes that it wasn’t Inko. But he is happy to speak to David)

So, as All Might excused himself to have this phone call with David. Nedzu and the rest of the staff present couldn’t help but talk about the article they were shown, instead of continuing whatever conversation they were having prior to Mina and the others showing up

~

That's also a silence when Aoyama tackles Shigaraki into a hug. Aoyama's verbal mess of "thank you" and "merci" melting into quiet sobs. On contrary to one's belief, Shigaraki doesn't hate physical contact, so after making sure Aoyama didn’t turn himself into dust, it’s a bit (a lot) awkward but Shigaraki does return his hug. Then there’s an old, distance memory that flashes in Shigaraki's mind- it’s fragmented and blurry but Shigaraki knows that it’s a memory of his mother hugging and consoling him when he was a toddler.

A chill ran up his spin and there’s a bittersweet tingle on his tongue. And in response to that memory, he hugs Aoyama a little bit tighter. Perhaps, there’s a burn behind his eyes and a few tears managed to escape.

Soon enough Aoyama wasn’t the only one breaking down in tears. The only teens not crying would be Momo, Todoroki, Toga, and surprisingly enough Midoriya. Though, Momo and Midoriya (and a couple of the LOV members too tbh) are one coin flip away from breaking down themselves.

Uncomfortable (and probably a bit overwelmed) with a bunch of crying children, Dabi's the first to put distance between him and the group. Well, he’s a bit slow to do it, considering his injured state and Kurogiri.

But Dabi manages to escape the watchful eyes of Kurogiri when it comes to light that Aoyama has ripped his stitches when he tackle hugged Shigaraki. So, despite the pain, he manages to leave the room and goes outside. Luckily, the abandoned building they’re hold up is in a forest with heavy foliage and it’s on the outskirts of a nearby city (one of the Izucrew, perhaps Momo, had recognized it as the city of Deika).

So, Dabi leaned against the wall of the abandoned building, lighting a cigarette.

There’s a door creaking open. A figure coming out of the abandoned building. The person joins him. Revealing the figure to be–

~

And have a silly little cliffhanger, that if you’d like you can decide who joins Dabi outside. And okay, so this one a lot more prose-y, but in my defense I was listening to an audiobook while writing this lol.

— ✨✍️ (<- This can be my little emoji combo indicator)

Nice promo there, buddy, haha

(Might check it out hmm)

-

I can imagine 1-A just rewatching all those close calls, some too close for comfort, in the dead of night, unable to do anything else. When they're not watching them, they're thinking about it. Even the staff are the same, because this isn't a group of heroes making an unlikely alliance, it's a bunch of kids fighting for their lives against the people who should be protecting them.

The staff feel even worse when the kids remind them of everything that's been happening, because how do they feel about it? How do their own students now view heroism and thus them after seeing heroes constantly fail and actively harm their friends for a false claim?

They don't realise that this, right here, is them trusting them. Allowing their teachers to see them so vulnerable, letting them know what they could monopolise if they wanted to, is their show of trust. But the staff don't view it as this - they see it as a slap to the face.

"What are you doing about it?" it seems like they're asking.

All Might x Inko, yes, I agree. But David is also a close friend to All Might who knows him well enough to help him, emotionally or otherwise. This could be where he informs All Might he's coming to Japan with Melissa.

-

When Yuuga breaks down, holding Tomura close, his friends don't know what to do.

Ochako and Tenya are mostly confused, because since when did they become so close, and when did Yuuga become so bold or courageous enough to do that? But, then they remember how fast they were forced to grow. How it feels like it's been years since they were safe in U.A. And they start crying, mourning for the innocence they thought they could hold onto for just a bit more.

Spinner and Twice cry from the get-go. The moment Yuuga breaks, so too do they. Twice constantly denying that he's crying, blaming ninjas cutting onions. Spinner has no shame, claiming that it's as tragic as it is beautiful.

Toga doesn't do anything at first, mostly confused as to why Yuuga's crying so much, and why he seems so relieves. But it all slams into her at once. Because of course he's relieved. She would hate to be forced to betray her friends just 'cause her family didn't care enough. And while she doesn't cry, she allows herself to watch, and just feel his pain.

Momo wants to cry. She does, but she can't bring herself to. Her eyes are too dry. She breathes in and out, trying to regulate her pacing, but it isn't enough. In this scenario, she knows she should be crying, and maybe one more push would break her, but as it is now, she can only feel so destroyed by everything all at once.

Shouto wishes he could bring himself to cry. Yet, as he watches, he can only feel sympathy. Not quite empathy. He thinks about Endeavour, and how he'd feel is someone killed him, freeing him from his shackles of abuse, and isn't sure how to feel about how little he'd care.

Izuku watches it all, and feels so wrong. He's the one who cries so easily, who had no shame in crying fountains on live TV, in front of thousands of pro heroes. He should be the first one to have cried, maybe even before Yuuga did. But, as he watches, he can't find it in himself to cry over what should be celebrated.

Eventually, Kurogiri peels Yuuga off to dress his wounds and Dabi manages to escape outside, lighting up a cigarette. He brings it to his mouth, taking relief with each burning inhale, blowing out smoke and watching the wind catch it.

As he does, someone approaches him. I can imagine Hawks dropping in. Dabi does as he usually does, approaching him with sarcasm and cynicism, until Hawks asks if it's true. That Endeavour abused him and still abuses his children.

He wants Dabi to say it was a big, fat lie. That he only said it to stir controversy in the media and he could continue to look up to Endeavour as his saviour - the one who saved him from his own torrent of abuse.

He doesn't, and Hawks hates how stupid he was. A good action doesn't make a good man, and he should have known, but he let himself be blinded.

He takes off his sunglasses and throws them against the wall, hard enough to shatter them into pieces. Dabi observes coldly.

"The HPSC have orders to kill on sight," he tells Dabi, breathing heavy, towering over his destroyed visors with rage. "Be careful. And don't you dare let those kids die."

"No promises."

-

Hawks was the only one to make sense to me, but I can also see Endeavour appearing or even Natsu and Fuyumi. I can't see Melissa and Mei finding them this easily, so it would probably continue on until the IzuCrew somehow get a signal out to them that only Melissa and Mei can decode.

See ya later, ✨✍️

[cosmic-navel-gazin]

"About the Blogger" Meme by @razielim

Haven't seen one of these in forever; I'm being the change I want to see. (You're encouraged to adapt/remove questions or add new ones to better suit yourself.)

Favorite Pseud: Cosmic is the new hotness but my indecisive ass has had a billion! Alas-poor-yorick! is an old one I'm still fond of because my child self really went and saw Hamlet and thought: "YES! THE SKULL OF THE DEAD JESTER! THAT'S WHO I WANNA BE!"

Time Zone: GMT

Star Sign(s): the one that's a COSMIC RAM! 🐏🌠✨

Favorite Holidays: every holiday is always tinged with just a tad of existential dread, a pang reminding me of the time that's already gone by, that I'm one day closer to death , I guess the ones during Spring and Summer, just because of the weather and that the days are longer

Last Meal: Soup and a piece of bread with olive oil (and olives)

Current Favorite Musician: my dear friend who plays the piano^^ (whom I hope never finds out about this blog and reads this or I'll never hear the end of it). Not sure if current, but I've listened to a lot of it regularly so, shout-out to Jordi Savall and his Hespèrion XXI group *gnaws on their many variations of the spanish Folías*

Last Music Listened To: Just Dropped In (To See What Condition My Condition Is In) · Kenny Rogers & The First Edition

Last Movie Watched: Saw X and The Lobster

Last TV Show Watched: The Bear

Last Book/Fic Finished: Can't remember what was the last book so I'm going with: One of only two in existence A Field In England fics on AO3 😳

Last Book/Fic Abandoned: Kafka's The Trial (not abandoned, I just wanted to finish the ones I had started first before continuing because I know this one's gonna hurt for sure)

Currently Reading: Solaris by Stanisław Lem

Books/Shows/Movies/etc. You Want to Get Around To: For Films I have some listed on this ask. For books I got some Strugatskys to get to, some Terry Pratchett, some Kafka, some Horus Heresy, my sister got me Foundation *looks at bookshelf and ignores the dozens of others that have been sitting there for years, waiting for me*

Last Thing Researched for Art/Writing/Hyperfixation: Wild boars! Boarzinhos if you will.

Last Eureka, Breakthrough, or Neat Fact/Concept Learned: Have learned nothing and remain a fool.

Favorite Online Fandom Memory: I don't think I've ever been in a Fandom™ per se. It's usually just, sitting in my dark lair and enjoying a thing with a handful of other people. But, if it counts since it's the closest to interacting with Fandom I've had: these past (4?) years on tumblr in general. From the months-long (sometimes years-long) discussions about this or that piece of media and the insightful observations traded, the juicy meta, the joy and privilege of people sending you unfinished pieces of their art and writing through DMs (the trust and intimacy of it all!!!), sending each other memes and posts we think the other might enjoy, the nice messages, etc... all of it really.

Favorite Old Fandom You Wish Would Drag You Back In/Have A Resurgence: Am baby and haven't really experienced this yet.

Favorite Thing You Enjoy That Never Had an Active or Big "Fandom" but You Wish It Did: I literally can't choose because almost everything I love is some flavour of weird-ass-obscure thing! But uhmmm, *flips through enormous tome of interests* : Here! Rule of Rose ! I was starving for psychological horror games after the Silent Hill series and this is the closest I've ever seen to them while also not being just a rip off/clone of SH, and telling its own beautifully tragic story (the combat is broken and there's other issues but everything else, maaaaaaaaaaannnnnnnn).

Tempting Project You're Trying to Rein In/Don't Have Time For: I will draw Rumata and Budach's Conversation™ from chapter 8 in full, in comic form, skill to pull it off and do it justice or not, EVEN IF IT KILLS ME!

Tempting Project You're 100% Going to Undertake: It involves sandcastles and the joys of creation... but it needs to *gasp!* actually be written and not just daydreamed about.

Tagging: AAAAAA I DUNNO ANYONE WHO WANTS TO!

[astarkey]

Fun meta asks: 2, 3, 17, 18 and 20! ❤❤❤

This one is also a long one!!

2. Tell us about what you’re most looking forward to writing – in your current project, or a future project: Well, there are some stuff I'm looking forward to writing in projects I've thought about writing but I haven't written yet, and others that I haven't written in a while. Like "Off the Grid," I'm looking forward to writing the dynamic between Cooper and Meredith and how they try to work together to get out of situations. Because... yeah, in the words of Kate Fuller, it's better to work together than doing it all by yourself lmao. Idk, I wanna finish this fic because the plot and the characters are so damn good and it's interesting to get into the mindset of the characters even though I know very little about them, but it's like the more I think about them, the more I get an idea. It's like they're doing the work for me lol! And I'm just too busy in my Meredith and Cooper feels because it's like I see it! I see their relationship and it's like I want what they have :'(

3. What is that one scene that you’ve always wanted to write but can’t be arsed to write all of the set-up and context it would need? (consider this permission to write it and/or share it anyway) Oh gosh, okay so... that au fic I have that I haven't written yet (the one where it's like Queen of the Damned and Richie's part of this underground vampire corporation to rise to the top and Kate's part of the secret organization where they search for the... you know, supernatural stuff, and she pretty much stalks Richie until Seth, who's also a vampire, stops her and he and Kate fall in love with each other. That one) and I've had this scene in my head for the longest damn time, but I have absolutely nowhere to put it because it's like in mid-story and I haven't even started writing the fic. So here I go, once again, freestyling this snippet of the scene because... yeah, I have no idea where to put it!

Seth stares at himself in the mirror, running his fingertips along the two small scars on his neck; the ugly memento his brother left behind as a reminder of what he is.

A bloodsucker.

An immortal lapdog to Satan who's cursed to feed off the blood of others and live for eternity on this wretched earth, alone.

He wishes he died a hundred years ago that day. He would've loved to go out his own way, the way it was intended without Richard's interference. He took a bullet for him when they wanted Richard dead; bled out for him when he saved his little brother's life; and yet his brother's selfishness got in the way, and he wasn't ready to let go of Seth just yet.

This isn't what he wanted to be, though. Nothing like this.

He hears the door squeak and whips his head around and pulls out a gun tucked from behind his back. He sees the person from the other side of the door cautiously walking into his motel room, and when he sees their face, he's half surprised to find it being familiar.

"Hi," Kate greets, unarmed this time.

"What are you doing here, Fuller? How'd you find me?" he asks, still pointing his gun at her.

"Well, I saw you had your front door open, so I-"

"No, no. What are you doing in here? How did you know where I live?" he asks again.

"I asked around and I… followed you."

"You're stalking me now?"

She shrugs and retorts, "Kind of like how you always seem to show up conveniently whenever I follow your brother around?"

Seth pops his brows, surprised by her witty comeback, and lowers his gun. "Touché, princess. You still haven't answered my question."

"What question?"

"What the fuck are you doing here?" he asks again, slowly.

Without giving him a verbal answer, she reaches into her satchel and pulls out a small, semi-tattered book, handing it to him.

"What's this?" he asks while taking the book from her hand. He opens the book and reads the first few lines of the first page, stopping at a sentence he remembers too well from memory, much like his handwriting.

"It's yours isn't it?" Kate asks.

"Where the fuck did you find this?" he asks sharply, still gazing at the journal that holds too many haunted memories he threw away for his own good. Little did he know that decades later it would fall into the hands of this girl, and it would reach his lap once more.

17. Do you think readers perceive your work - or you - differently to you? What do you think would surprise your readers about your writing or your motivations? I don't think so. I think most of the time they perceive how I intended to write my work. I don't know if anyone's perceived it differently. I don't think any of my writing or my motivations would surprise readers lol. My writing's at an amateur level and I don't really have any motivation besides getting an idea written out.

18. Do any of your stories have alternative versions? (plotlines that you abandoned, AUs of your own work, different characterisations?) Tell us about them. Yeah, like a bunch of weird abandoned plotlines.

20. Tell us the meta about your writing that you really want to ramble to people about (symbolism you’ve included, character or relationship development that you love, hidden references, callbacks or clues for future scenes?) OFF THE GRID!!!! Like, gah, the dynamics, all of the characters' stories told like in the classic style of Robert Rodriguez, THE FUCKING COLORS OF HOW VARGAS' POWER IS THE COLOR RED AND THAT COLOR'S LIKE A SYMBOLISM OF CONTROL AND MEREDITH IS WEARING THAT RED JACKET LIKE SHE'S STILL IN CONTROL AND SHE DOESN'T TAKE IT OFF UNTIL SHE FEELS LIKE SHE'S NOT UNDER HIS CONTROL ANYMORE (THAT SHIT DID NOT EVEN REGISTER TO ME AT ALL UNTIL LIKE MONTHS AFTER I THOUGHT ABOUT THIS STORY), the "you're not worth the bullet," I'm just gonna scream about this story forever. I'm still screaming, too, about the sethkate Christmas fic because of the fucking HANDS. Screaming about that for the rest of my life.

Thank you so much for asking me!!!