#her whole fucking life bro was just in service to this Thing and She was just like some its like horrible trapped mode She Has To Be That Pe

[psiimaid]

genuinely the concept of mai is so. well someone has to be that be person and everyone ever in the whole wide world ever doesnt have to be that person but SHE has to be that person but it's not even random unluck bc it was always going to be her pre-scratch damara caused the scratch knowing it was going to be her but post-scratch damara isnt her and well See i'm not saying pre-scratch damara should go through what she kind of put her post-scratch self through or anything like its balls for her both times truly but just kind of like way more for damara2 imho.............. but that's just me damara1 was always going to cause the scratch bc it has to happen for blah blah blah but she did so and wanted to for the blah blah blah LE and like for all purposes it WAS her (prescratch damara) on the other side so she's making the choice abt herself they were literally the same baby they were born the same but now they're different. and prescratch damara decided to work w LE and caused the scratch knowing She would be theHis handmaid in the second iteration of the universe and since it Is Her she gets to choose that but it also but postscratch damara who kind of is not her didn't get a choice because she never had a choice bc of being number2 tough luck all around it sucks to tbe the handmaid homestuck

[jayktoralldaylong]

One of my favourite things about Arcane is that all the couples can be read as toxic, which is GREAT.

I'm tired of people bringing morality debates into dark media. Let dark media be fucking dark. You guys wouldn't survive a day in the TMA fandom, needing everyone to be as good as gold. How are they going to make for enjoyable complex characters if they're not morally grey. In fact, I wish there'd been more expansion on just how morally black they can become!

"CaitVi is so toxic" According to lesbian statistics, that sounds just about accurate. 💀 Heck, I wish Caitlyn had done more (Not really, but it would have been nice to further explore the darkness in her heart). Isn't it adorable how she immediately folded as soon as Vi called her cupcake? Caitlyn's like one of those villains that will consistently do the most....until it comes to someone else hurting her girlfriend. The only one allowed to hurt her girlfriend is her. 💀

Then let's talk about Vi. Someone pointed out how Vi never cared about Zaun's independence in the first place and many people yelled that they were wrong. But actually, they were right. Vi never wanted Zaun. Zaun was Silco's dream, and Jinx inherited that dream cause Silco would never shut up about it. Vi wanted Piltover to take responsibility for all the shit they allowed to happen in the Undercity. That's a part of the reason she joined up with Caitlyn in the first place. Let's not forget she wasn't dissuaded when she dragged Jayce down to fight with her and he killed a child. Children been dying, it's been her whole life. Someone needed to do something about it, and Zaun would have just isolated the people from all the privileges that Piltover SHOULD have been providing for them. Some people just can't accept that Independence cannot in fact solve every problem, and sometimes independence is colonisers running away from the responsibility of fixing the mess that they started in the first place.

Besides, we all know Vi joined up with the Enforcers because "I feel like I am worthless if I can't be of service." She'd already run out of family members to serve, Caitlyn was the next best thing. She's just like Jayce.

And speaking of Jayce, let's talk about his violent levels of codependency with anyone who'll give him attention. People LOOOOVE to talk about Mel, but it's there with Viktor too. When bro wasn't basing his worth on his inventions, he was centering it around Viktor.

Viktor who decided at some point in his life that he would not LIVE without Jayce. He was fine dying without him, but living without him was unacceptable. Oh how healthy. 🙄😂 Viktor be the kind of toxic ex to threaten divorce 500 times over, then burn the world when you actually leave him. Jayce is no better cause he's the kind of guy to keep going back to his toxic Ex.

Yes, Mel is manipulative. That's what I love about her. How are you guys failing to give this woman the praise of being an outsider in Piltover, but running their entire council. 💀 Girl raises her hand once and the whole government starts spinning. She was the best sugar mummy Jayce and Viktor could ever ask for. She kept the whole city running. Literally the entire of Piltover dancing on her palm. And yes she manipulated Jayce but let's not forget she thought that was a love language. 💀 You wanna be mad at someone, be mad at Ambessa for raising her that way.

I also don't think it's fair to blame her for the Undercity situation, she's not native. Monkey see, monkey do, and not a single one of those Council members actually cared about the situation down there, it was deplorable. 💀 Jayce did way more in his two weeks as Councillor than any of those drug pushing, money laundering, Piltovian heads of government.

And that just covers MelJayVik, we don't even need to get fully into TimeBomb, cause we know what's wrong there. 💀 Surely we have not forgotten the many teammates Jinx has killed, but making sure to never kill Ekko cause that's her man. Ekko has a lot to unpack, like how his consistent and unwavering love for Jinx is an indication of a lot of doors he might not be ready to open. I know they dynamics go crazy and I love to see it.

Ambessa and Sevika are a crack ship but I'm sure we all know bedroom dynamics go crazy with Mrs. Warlord and Miss Liberation. I love it when characters clash in a toxic heap. It's insane and should be explored.

Quit saintifying my toxic ships with your woke morality debates. If you want everyone to be sunshine and rainbows then you should be watching literally anything else. 💀 "It's not healthy." GOOD, I like it that way. 💀 Angst, spice and trauma are the recipe for a plethora of explorative fanfiction. Any of their dynamics can be taken in any toxic direction and I want that EXPLORED.

[2knightt]

HII!! could you write the gang with a reader that has an rbf and seems really intimidating/unapproachable but is a sweetheart? they arent very talkative and seem very cold but their love language is acts of service/gift giving & sorta quality time?? <33

୧ ׅ𖥔 ۫ pretty as a vine, sweet as a grape. ⋄ 𓍯

…REQUESTED: you never judge a book by it’s cover. especially when it comes to y/n!

tags/warnings: people being judgy asf/spreading rumours, gang defending reader with their soul, reader is a softie i fear, reader is kinda shy, probably stupid:3c, steve threatening a manLMFAO

ೃauthor notes⁀➷ READER IS SO ME CODED HELLO also if two-bits part sounds stupid it ‘s because i’m high rn and even if can admit it’s a little iffy

—

dallas winston

thought of you as someone to be threatened by at first ngl

he heard of this scary, mean mugged, tuff looking girl and went ‘mh. an enemy🐺😒’

he went up to you one day, acting all tuff and shit just for you to look him up and down and nervously wave

look, he may not be the smartest cookie but he can see someone shy a mile away. and when he seen you wave, he felt like such an ass LMFAO

did he show it? no. obviously.

this is dallas. he’s an asshole.

“little miss tough girl, huh?”

“…pardon?”

that teasing from him DID continue until you walked away because dallas is the type to never back down, even when he’s wrong

expect for the next time you met him!!!!

he was actually asking you your name, where you’re from, etc, etc!!!

turning a new leaf dare i say…

and everything after that was history! cutest scary looking couple ever!

HE THINKS IT’S SOOO FUNNY THAT PEOPLE ARE SCARED OF YOU LMFAOOO

he plays into it sm if someone brings it up bro

“y/n? like..scary y/n?”

“yeah, like scary y/n. and i’ll get ‘er on ya if you keep talkin’ ‘bout her.”

“oh!😰”

he thinks it’s so silly to see you look really pissed off when he isn’t around just to greet you and see your whole demeanour change!!

dallas thinks it’s so cute😭 it’s like one of his favourite things about you!

“😠😒”

“hey, baby.”

“oh! hi, dal!<3”

LMFAO IMAGINE SOMEONE SEEING YOU, A MEAN LOOKING GIRL, SHOPPING FOR MENS LEATHER JACKETS

yuppp spoil that dickhead!😫 he lovelovelovesss getting gifts, ESPECIALLY from u!!!

if you’re clingy, i feel like he wouldn’t mind it. he teases THE FUCK out of u tho!😊

“big tough girl wants to hold hands, eh?”

“…yea😞.”

“awh, look at ya. come ‘ere.”

johnny cade

you might think he’d be scared and intimidated, right? but NO! he’s literally bff’s with ponyboy, he knows damn well what rbf is!

you two are sooo cute together

little kicked, scared puppy with his feral doberman!!!

tells people to stfu whenever they try and spread rumours that you’re scary, mean, and rude.

“you’re dating y/n? don’t you know she-“

“i don’t care, shut up. ‘s not like you know her😒.”

sometimes refuses your gifts.

johnny’s not used to them :( but all u gotta do is say please and flutter your lashes and u got em!!!!

“i can’t take it.”

“please?😞”

“…okay😣.”

and he DOES NOT regret it! he might fight you at first, but he cherishes those gifts with his life<3!

loveloveloveLOVESSS having u around constantly!! since your love language is quality time, you two are always hanging out together.

and, with your scary looks, you often keep the socs away from him!

hip-hip, hooray‼️‼️

the gang was like…worried for johnny at first.

THEY DIDN’T KNOW U WERE COOL THO😭😭💔💔💔

they were all like, “??seriously, johnny?? you pick the meanest girl?? ever???” and johnny was QUICK to defend. “y’all ain’t even meet her, and you’re already sayin’ she’s bad for me?”

when they did though, they were like ‘ohhhh….she really isn’t rude…..oh….’

HE’S SO PROUD TO DATE U THO LMFAOOO

and to know the real you?? treats it like an HONOUR

ponyboy curtis

was intimidated by you.

forgot he was also like you and accidentally glares at people who walk past him LMFAOOOO

You two are like two peas in a pod istg!!

“you look mean from far away,”

“???so do you, pony??”

“…no??”

“WHAT DO YOU MEAN, ‘NO’?”

mean looking couple who are truly just a bunch of nerds deep down to their soul<3

the gang was a little protective of ponyboy until they realized ur just like him LMFAO

They get having an rbf<3

pony loves spending time with you!

gift him a book and he’ll love you forever!!! (maybe even read it to you when you two are finally alone to help you fall asleep🤍)

he’s such a cutie…..

stays close to you in public because he thinks you’re scarier looking than anyone he’s ever met😊😊.

“cm’ere,”

“why?🤨”

“BECAUSE🙄!”

SCARY DOG Y/N IS REAL.

glares at anyone who goes around telling people that you’re mean and rude.

if looks could kill, they’d be dead already!!!

ponyboy does not fuck around with u i fear.

Sodapop Curtis

LMFAOOO GREEK GOD OF A MAN WITH HIS PISSED OFF GF WHO IS NERVOUSLY HOLDING HIS HAND !!!

he was NOT afraid of you!! in fact, he thought the rumours of you being an asshole were all fake

“you talkin’ about y/n?”

“yes, bro! they’re so rude-“

“how do you know?”

“well, i don’t-“

“so, shut up?😒”

cuz like??? did they not bother to understand you???

soda literally made it his mission to prove that you weren’t a dick!!😭😭

and GODDAMN HE WAS SO RIGHT

you’re such a sweetheart to soda! he lovesss telling people about how cute you are around him since it’s his own way to squash the rumours.

“my y/n is so sweet, you wouldn’t get it.”

“isn’t she the same girl who beat the soc to a pulp?”

“she can barely kill a fly.”

you don’t need to do much to scare off the girls that flirt with him at the DX, just a nice little glare every now and then and they’re already gone!

(soda doesn’t have to know that you play into the rumours sometimes. it’s our little secret.)

steve randle

HATES EVERYONE WHO TALKS ABOUT YOU

he’s petty AS FUCK LMFAOOO

they can’t handle the randle😜💯

“ew, y/n-“

“MAN, GET THE FUCK OUTTA MY FACE WITH THAT WHAT DO YOUUU KNOW ABOUT Y/N🗣️‼️”

that was an over exaggeration but you get the point.

gets very defensive when people try and ‘warn’ him about you lmfao

gift him a tool box and he’ll use it until it’s literally falling apart at the bolts<3

no seriously. it could be holding on by one screw and he’ll still use it. he doesn’t gaf. steve will use anything u give him.

he accepts ur rbf cause he thinks it’s SO FUNNY?? like he’ll see you far away with your friends looking all angry before one of them says a really funny joke and just watches your expression change so quickly

one of his fav things ever<3!

two-bit mathews

he makes so much jokes about it LMFAOOO

“jesus, y/n! you sure yer glare ain’t the thing that killed the dinosaurs?”

—

“swear i see the devil in yours eyes sometimes. it looks soooo good on you, though🤭🤭”

HE THINKS ITS SO ATTRACTIVE

and he lovesss your sweetheart side sm it’s like he gets best of both worlds

RAHH GIFT TWO-BIT MICKEY PLUSHIE OR ELSE

He’d totally have it on his bed 24/7. his sister has tried to steal it before to scare him btw.

skmetimes just to spend time together with him—you just go walking around town with him while he has an arm around your shoulder the whole time<3

[earlysunshines]

asap baby

kim minji x fem!reader ; fluff

synopsis: hanni and danielle spent months getting you and minji together only to find out you haven't kissed once

warnings: sixth member reader ; they makeout i GUESS muahaha very small tho very short ; if you have a sweet tooth you'll love this one I hope ; loser gf minji I fear (my type) ; not proofread

a/n: LOSER GF!!! muahahahaha also i wrote this in one sitting what

not many things make kim minji weak in the knees, she’s very good at keeping her composure. however, as soon as you were put into her life, all of that was thrown out the window.

you’ve been minji’s member for over a year. you’ve also been dating kim minji, the prettiest most gorgeous girl you’ve ever met for nearly two months now–all thanks to hanni and danielle, your other fellow members.

as happy as they were to get you two together, it was almost dreadful to witness the two of you together. it wasn’t necessarily awkward, but time alone with minji was limited, and you two were stupidly shy and giddy when the girls were around you. the two of you still act like how you did while you were crushing on each other – before the confession – and it’s not entertaining.

you’re much more outgoing and open about your feelings, however, but you’re willing to be patient for minj–even if that means her taking forever to initiate things and show you just how in love she is other than using acts of service and gift giving.

it isn’t until hanni and danielle bug you to death on your whole relationship, itching for more out of the two of you.

–

hanni and danielle sit in front of you, petrified.

“you’re telling me, the most you’ve done is held hands with her and kiss her on the cheek?” danielle gasps, her brows creasing.

you shake your head, blushing. “okay, well, i’ve kissed her hand and forehead too–”

“bro, you haven’t kissed her? you’ve been dating for like, almost two months are you fucking kidding me?”

putting up your hands in defense, you begin, “hey! she’s… shy… i think about kissing her and shit like that all the time but… i just… you know.”

“oh y/n, you haven’t even tried to initiate it? i know her, she definitely wants to kiss you too.”

“well,” you start, crossing your arms. “kissing isn’t the most important part of a relationship. she makes sure i’m healthy and we sleep in the same bed and i like her and care for her and–”

“well yeah you’re right but we didn’t spend five months listening and watching you two drool over each other just for you to end up together and act like an awkward couple in the 90s!”

“hey! we’re not! stop that!” you roll your eyes, then flop onto your bed from where you sit. picking up your phone, you gaze at the picture of your girlfriend on your screen. “i just– we kind of agreed to take it slow.”

“take it slow my ass man.” 

“well, everytime i’ve tried to initiate things more… you know, couple like… we always get interrupted! i mean i’ve tried to kiss her but i swear hyein and haerin have some superpower that lets them know when one of us tries to and they end up walking in and ugh!”

you weren’t lying, really. most attempts at trying to be affectionate and bolder were often interrupted.

after two weeks of going out with minji, spending nights together and cuddling as you talked about who knows what, you finally had the chance to be home alone. with everyone's schedules piled up, this rare moment of solitude was perfect.

minji had her arm around you as you both watched a movie, deciding to spend your last hour together curled up beside each other. your thumb gently grazed her hand repeatedly, making her smile and lean her head into you a bit more. it was calming, just being there beside her. the warmth of her presence was comforting, filling you with a sense of peace.

halfway into the movie, you turn to kiss her jawline. she tilts her head slightly, allowing you better access, her smile widening. the simple act feels intimate and precious, a quiet affirmation of the more romantic bond that took months of (mostly danielle and hanni’s) work to happen. 

her skin is warm and soft against your lips, sending a flutter through your chest. you savor the moment, wishing it could last forever.

“that tickles, you know.”

“mm, but you’re so cute.”

“you’re so corny,” she says, blushing. she looks at you more closely, tilting her head. “is that my t-shirt?”

“too early to do that?”

minji shakes her head. “nah, you look cute.”

her lips turn up in a smile, and you mirror her. “now look who’s corny.”

“oh, shut up, you’re literally blushing.”

“that’s only because the girl in front of me looks so good right now.” you gently push her glasses up so they sit on the crown of her head. the movie in the background dissolves into white noise, and minji’s breath hitches. your eyes dart down to her lips, making you subtly bite the inside of your own. “so good, kim minji.” 

she leans in closer, the warmth of her breath mingling with yours. the moment feels suspended in time, the anticipation building. you can see the sparkle in her eyes, feel the rapid beating of her heart through the closeness of your bodies. everything about her draws you in, making you smirk as your head tilts.

just as your lips are about to touch, you hear the door swing open and a pair of voices fill the air. you and minji quickly part, hearts racing. minji chokes on nothing, coughing as hyein walks into the living room and plops down on the couch between the two of you.

"hey, what's up?" hyein asks, oblivious to the moment she just interrupted. “what movie? no way you’re watching the mario movie without me!”

you exchange a quick, knowing glance with minji, both of you struggling to suppress smiles and calm your racing hearts. 

“sorry…” you mumble, turning to hyein and giving her an apologetic smile. “you’ve already watched this movie like three times!”

“still! i can’t believe you left me out…”

minji scoffs playfully, smiling at the two of you. she raises her brows at the youngest member. “you literally had a shoot, it’s not like we can facetime you in the middle of it.”

if that were even possible, hyein would’ve had to witness everything that had happened before. you and minji preferred things to be less… out there. besides, hyein didn’t even know the two of you were more than just members that had gotten super close. 

“hey, let’s watch it the next time we’re both free then!” you offer.

“yes for sure! anyway, i’m going to go change”

hyein walks off, leaving you and minji a space away from each other. minji stands up and puts her hand out, you grab it with a teasing smile. your girlfriend rolls her eyes at you and starts to lead you to the room you two share.

the two of you don’t really speak on the incident.

–

it takes a bit of time, a few weeks after the first incident to be exact, before you get the confidence to try again.

the rest of the members and your performance manager have gathered outside to recharge and grab water, leaving the two of you alone. minji sits next to you on the floor of the practice room against the mirror, both of you sweaty from practice.

minji is on her phone, her breath still a bit heavy from the past thirty minutes of repeating and repeating several moves until they were perfect. your eyes soften at the sight of her, knowing how hard-working and passionate she is about being an idol. she's been your main motivation ever since you both were trainees, and the way she caught your eye was also a factor.

you admire her dedication, the way she pours her heart into every dance move and every note she sings. the sweat on her forehead and the tired yet determined look in her eyes only make her more endearing to you. the room is quiet except for your breathing, the air thick with the lingering energy of your intense practice.

gathering your courage, you inch a little closer to her. your heart races, but the desire to share a tender moment with her pushes you forward. you reach out and push away some of the hair framing her face, which makes her turn over to look at you. her eyes smile before her lips do, making you fold.

“tired?” you ask.

“very.” minji admits, putting her phone down and giving you all of her attention. “you’re sweating a lot, you must be too?”

“it’s whatever.” you sigh, leaning against the mirror. you stare at your girlfriend, her eyes drill right back into yours before a smirk plays on her lips.

“you like what you see?”

“my sweaty girlfriend?” you chuckle and push her arm, then bite your lip not-so-subtly. “for sure.”

minji smiles, gums showing a bit. she places her hand on your knee, letting her fingers run up and down your skin. “you’re a tease.”

“kim minji, you look so kissable right now.” the words flow out of your mouth, pausing minji in her place. 

she clenches her jaw before scooting closer to you, her hand moving from your knee to your arm and under the short sleeve covering your bicep. her touch is warm, sending a shiver up your spine.

without saying a word, she leans in, her eyes locking onto yours. the moment hangs in the air, charged with anticipation. 

“yeah? what are you going to do about it l/n y/n?”

you scoff lightheartedly before leaning closer, time seems to slow down as you move your hand to caress her jawline softly. “wouldn’t you like to know.” you whisper just centimeters away from her lips.

both of your eyes close and just as you begin to close the distance, a group of girls bursts into the room. 

you and minji part suddenly, pushing each other away as your cheeks turn crimson. the interruption is jarring, and you can feel the heat rising to your face, matching the flush on minji’s cheeks. the lively chatter and laughter of the group fill the room, making it impossible to continue the moment. you exchange a quick, embarrassed glance with minji, both of you silently lamenting the lost opportunity.

haerin stares at the two of you on the floor as if a meteor had just landed between you, causing both of you to jump apart. there’s now three feet of awkward space between the two of you, and haerin simply tilts her head.

“minji, y/n, you didn’t get water?” haerin asks, her voice tinged with curiosity.

“not... um, thirsty,” you manage to say, feeling the heat of embarrassment still lingering. minji nods in agreement, her gaze darting away briefly.

haerin’s expression remains unreadable as she continues to observe the two of you, her silence adding to the awkwardness that hangs in the air.

your girlfriend jumps up with energy, clapping her hands and beaming, “alright! let’s continue!” which makes you chuckle. minji looks back at you and you mouth, good save, before sticking your tongue out at her.

–

“i told you we almost kissed! we just... every time i want to and we get close, it gets ruined.”

danielle frowns sympathetically, feeling bad after hearing your frustration. hanni shakes her head, then crosses her arms and nudges danielle closer to her.

“dude, just kiss her,” hanni sighs, then turns to danielle, who looks utterly confused. “like this.”

“woah, wait–”

hanni smiles mischievously at you, then fixes danielle with a serious gaze. “just put your hand on her shoulder like this—” she squeezes danielle's deltoid, making her gasp in surprise. “—then look her in the eye.” they lock eyes, and danielle can’t help but smirk at the absurdity of the situation, struggling to keep a straight face. you chuckle, thoroughly amused by their impromptu demonstration.

“then say whatever lovey-dovey shit and lean in, mmm~” hanni hums playfully, puckering her lips for effect.

danielle smirks back, leaning in slightly and catching hanni off guard. hanni jumps back dramatically, looking at danielle with mock horror as danielle bursts into laughter. you join in, unable to contain your amusement at the whole scene unfolding before you.

“oh, come on, hanni pham~ we have to give her a demonstration!”

“gross!” hanni sticks her tongue out at dani, who’s laughing louder now. “i didn’t think you’d actually play along!”

“don’t be shy!”

“i hate you.”

you smile at the two, rolling your eyes playfully before leaning back and hugging your pillow again.

the thought of minji, right before she’s about to kiss you, fills your mind with warmth. memories of those moments flash before you, making you smile. her lips look soft, and you've imagined how they would feel against yours countless times. they must be heaven, and you can't wait to experience it for real. you don’t want this to just be a daydream you have everyday anymore.

kissing minji is something special, something that has to be perfect. you want it to be a moment you both cherish, not hurried or awkward like hanni's demonstration. you want to approach her with tenderness and sincerity, making sure every detail is just right. it's a moment you've been waiting for, and you want to make it unforgettable for both of you.

“ugh, this is so frustrating.” you sigh, collapsing onto hanni’s thigh.”

danielle thinks to herself, then lights up. “wait, you’ve always been the one to start it, right?”

“i guess?”

“just find a way for minji to do it instead then.”

“and how will i do that?”

"just use your ways, i don't want to think about how i'd get minji to kiss me. that's gross…" hanni interjects, prompting you to push her head lightly.

"okay, minji is not gross, and she’s my lovely girlfriend that i want to kiss very much, thank you." you defend minji with a playful smile, while hanni pretends to gag, earning chuckles from you and danielle.

you start to ponder danielle’s suggestion seriously. how could you make a move on minji? she’s confident on camera when it comes to variety shows, livestreams, or anything of that sort, even playing along with fangirls’ comments. but she’s completely different when it comes to you, her girlfriend, and always reserved when it comes to initiating intimacy. she's comfortable with cuddles and the occasional kiss on the cheek, but you want more.

as you think about it, a plan starts to form in your mind. you recall how she responds to your touch, the way her eyes soften when you compliment her, and how she leans into your affection–but this is all behind closed doors

every nuance of minji's personality and her vulnerabilities flood your mind, and they all seem to revolve around your relationship. you muse over the idea of teasing her playfully to elicit a more spontaneous reaction—like kissing you.

as you think about the dynamics between you, a plan starts to take shape in your mind. 

–

the notification on your phone alerts you that minji is live, and since you're done with everything you need to do and nearby, you might as well surprise her.

you stare at the screen for a moment, admiring your girlfriend. she's wearing the leather jacket you bought her before you started dating, a white t-shirt underneath, a cap perched on her head, and the glasses that always make her look even cuter.

"ugh, you're going to be the death of me," you mutter quietly to yourself as you gaze at her image. gathering your courage, you knock on the door to the room she's in. you watch as she jumps in her seat, clearly startled by the sudden interruption.

"hello? who is it?" minji calls out, her voice tinged with curiosity. "hanni, is that you?"

you chuckle softly, turning off your phone and deciding to play along. slowly, you open the door just a crack, peering in with only the top half of your head visible. minji's eyes widen in surprise, and a bright smile instantly lights up her face, showing her gums and top teeth.

“y/n!” minji rolls her chair to the door and opens it fully, grabbing your hand as you step inside. “what are you doing here?”

“i got a notification from phoning and wanted to see you.” you grin, knowing her cheeks are warming up since the live is still going. “i have squid crackers.”

minji pulls a chair beside the two of you and pats it down so you can sit. “yum, let’s eat!”

“okay, okay.”

the live continues on with the two of you bickering over small things, arguing over vegetables and you trying to convince her that they won’t kill her. the comments roll quickly, something tells you that most of the live will be clipped and shared online, not that you mind.

nearing the end of the livestream, you and minji sit close together, your arms brushing against each other as you read through the comments. the phone sits on the desk in front of you, capturing your interactions with your fans.

underneath the desk, where the phone is positioned, minji taps your knee. you subtly glance down and see her hand open, silently motioning for you to hold it. a smile spreads across your face as you turn towards her, interlocking your fingers with hers. you exchange a brief, affectionate look before turning back to the camera, continuing to hold hands as you engage with the comments and wrap up the livestream.

you move your head closer to the screen to glimpse at a few comments, most of them complimenting minji with her glasses on and tousled hair. your lips turn up and you agree, “yeah, the comments are right.”

“what do they say?”

“that you look…” you read a certain comment that makes your nose scrunch as you laugh. “they're saying you look… scrumptious?”

minji chuckles, shaking her head. “strange.”

you lean back in your chair and keep your eyes focused on minji, the whole time as she reads through more comments, eyeing her like a meal. yeah, the comments have a point.

your girlfriend tries to maintain composure as she notices you eyeing her up and down, your tongue poking the inside of your cheek in a playful manner. she turns to meet your gaze, and all you do is smirk at her, glancing down at her lips for a fleeting moment before locking eyes with her again.

kim minji can stay sane for the cameras, she has to. 

even when you look at her like that, and in her hoodie. 

“minji please be my girlfriend…” minji reads out quietly, making you sit up and move to look at the screen yourself.

“absolutely not.” you retort, bringing minji in closer by the arm. “she’s off limits.”

minji looks at you, trying her absolute best to keep her cool and playing off her nerves with a laugh. “says who?”

“me.” you mumble, turning to face her. 

the livestream captures the entire scene: you grinning mischievously at minji, playfully holding onto her arm, clearly enjoying teasing her. she visibly folds a bit internally, swallowing lightly as she glances over at the rapidly scrolling chat. sensing the attention, minji gently unlinks your arms and ruffles your hair, pushing your chair back with a playful eye-roll as a blush spreads across her cheeks.

"okay, that's enough from you, y/n," minji sighs, feigning exasperation but unable to hide her smile. she addresses the screen, her voice warm despite her playful annoyance. "bye bye everyone, stay safe and see you next time!" with that, she ends the livestream as fast as she can, placing the phone down on the table.

as the screen goes dark, you exchange a knowing look with minji, both of you aware of how bold you were.

minji pulls your chair toward her, stopping you in your place right when your faces are a hand’s length apart.

“what was that y/n?” she questions you, narrowing her eyes. 

you giggle. “what do you mean?”

“you know what i– ugh, we’re going to be clipped and posted and–”

“and you’ll be watching over it all?”

minji gazes at you in disbelief, her breath catching slightly as she meets your gaze. you return her look, peering at her through lowered eyelashes, a subtle smile playing on your lips. the air between you two is thick with tension, the intensity of the moment palpable.

you begin to stand up, stretching your arms out as you make your way towards the door. however, before you can take another step, your wrist is gently but firmly pulled back. you turn around, surprised, to see minji still seated in her chair, her eyes fixed you, her pupils dilated.

her cap and glasses are taken off before she stands up and meets your level, her hand travels to your waist.

“was this on purpose?”

“what was?”

"don't make me work for it," minji warns softly, her head tilting ever so slightly to the side. her eyes linger on yours for a moment before trailing down to your lips. you feel a rush of anticipation as you lick them, waiting eagerly to see what she’s planning to do next.

“someone is eager, huh?”

“shut up.” is the last thing minji says before her lips meet yours, finally.

her other hand is on the base of your neck, lightly adding pressure as she kisses you. her lips are as soft as they look, and they feel even better against your lips than anywhere else. 

both of you pull away, then minji looks at you hesitantly. “is this okay?”

“fucking finally,” you sigh right before cupping both her cheeks and kissing her again.

minji's grip on you tightens, her touch indicating the need to hold onto you as the intensity of the moment deepens. the scent of peach and jasmine surrounds you, adding to the dreamlike atmosphere. your lips feel like a wish that no genie could ever grant, so hazy and perfect in this moment. as you slide your hands into her hair, the moment feels surreal, as if you're both caught up in a beautiful dream.

she shifts the two of you over towards the small couch in the corner, settling you down and hovering over you. she catches you smiling at her as your thumbs rub her cheeks lightly.

“you’re so cute minji.” 

“stop that.”

“are you flustered? aw look at you–” she cuts your teasing off with a kiss, both of you smiling into it. you want this to last forever, just you and minji together, kissing, her lips on yours, hand in your hair and the other trailing down your torso – just the two of you in the moment and nothing else.

your desire is rejected when you hear a squeal, making minji fumble and fall on top of you, her face meeting the base of your neck.

“minji? y/n? what–”

hyein.

your girlfriend gets up, crawling away from you, her face beet red and visibly flustered. she meets the youngest member with a complete lack of composure, while you sit up and watch everything unfold.

“w-why didn’t you knock?” minji scolds her, immediately looking away from hyein because she cannot look her in the eye after she had walked in on both of you. 

“are you two together? how long has this been going on? oh my god… why did no one tell me?”

“hyein, listen.”

“i knew something was up.” she facepalms, then looks at you. “sleeping in the same room… being alone together so much– i just though you guys were really close until i caught minji kissing your hand.”

your eyes widen. “what? when?”

“you guys were in the kitchen together cooking and ugh it all adds up…”

minji looks at you and silently pleads for help, prompting you to get up and stand next to your lover. hyein looks at the two of you expectantly, raising her brows as you two shrink under her.

“can we please talk about this with everyone else? they can help sort this out.” you suggest, which only feeds the flame (lee hyein).

“everyone else but me knew this?” she says in shock, then pouts at the two of you. “c’mon! why did you keep the juiciest stuff away from me!”

“because! you’re young! and besides, haerin doesn’t know either.” you desperately try to defend yourself, but none of your words get through her head – or maybe they do and she’s too shaken up to process it.

you and minji look at each other, blushes taking over your faces like a tsunami. 

a small breath leaves your lips; hyein had caught you making out with your girlfriend and now you both have to sit her down and give her a little talk as if you were two parents.

but at least you got to kiss your girlfriend after what had felt like forever, so maybe it was worth it in the end.

(plus, that look on minji’s face – yeah, maybe it was slightly worth it even if the kisses got cut short.)

[bluedalahorse]

In my heart of hearts, I have this headcanon where, during one of his summer weekend leaves during his military service, August hangs out with Nils and Vincent and opens up to them about his breakup with Sara.

(He’s still processing it at this point. Maybe he’ll always be processing it, but that summer in particular he’s wistfully sighing over Sara’s picture/listening to sad songs and applying the lyrics to how much he misses her/waking up in the middle of the night and crying into his pillow.)

Picture it: three 18-19 year old dudes who are maybe just learning to talk about their feelings because someone explained their first-year trauma to the media and it led to all their old wounds suddenly being reopened and their school getting abruptly shut down.

The conversation about Sara gets started because Vincent and Nils have been curious about what happened with August and Sara for months. Vincent, who is no longer patient about waiting for August to bring it up, insensitively breaks the ice by asking if Sara was a freak (complimentary) in bed. It’s up to Nils to diffuse the situation and keep the whole thing from turning into fisticuffs. While August probably does have some Old Nobility Honor Reason that justifies him punching Vincent in the face, Nils also feels it’s too early in the night for anyone to need emergency dental work, and he’s leaving for Georgetown in two weeks guys, he just wants to have a nice time with his friends before he flies out to DC.

So the conversation in time turns serious. August is explaining what he’s allowed to explain of what went down, and he’s like, “She said I wasn’t in love with her, I was just in love with the version of myself that was in love with her.”

And Nils is just kinda nodding along and patting August on the back and is like, “That’s tough, bro.”

Then Vincent cuts in with, “No offense August, but you kinda hate yourself.”

And August puts his head down on the table dejectedly, because yes, it is true, he does hate himself.

Nils is like, “Where are you going with this?”

Vincent replies, “I’m just saying that August kinda hates himself, but maybe Sara was telling him there’s a version of himself he could fall in love with, if he decided to be that guy instead.”

August is like, “I’m not even sure what you mean. I don’t even think that makes sense.”

Vincent, whose gestures are increasingly dramatic because of how many shots he’s done, is pointing emphatically all like: “Because I’m too deep for your thick head right now! But I’m trying to talk you up, man, I promise!”

Nils sighs. “You are not too deep. You are too drunk.”

Vincent stares at the array of shot glasses in front of him and realizes he can’t tell which Nordic country’s flag is which anymore. “Yeah. I actually have no idea what the fuck I’m saying.”

“August probably needs to hear it, though,” says Nils. He leans forward and shakes August’s shoulder and adds, “Hey. Don’t hate yourself, you dick.”

And the next morning they’re probably all too hung over to remember most of it. But maybe, just maybe, months later, when August ends up in inpatient treatment for his disordered eating and his other mental health issues, he remembers Vincent and Nils giving him space for his feelings and trying to talk him up. He realizes that—if he doesn’t want to become his dad, if he doesn’t want to become his cousin the queen, if he doesn’t want to repeat the worst mistakes of his life again and again—he actually has to let the self loathing go a little bit. And maybe it’s a step in the right direction.

[jasperandhenryslovechild]

bro i made a whole ass ramble and then it got posted on accident (FUCK TUMBLRS STUPID DRAFTS FEATURE BECAUSE IT ALWAYS POSTS NY FUCKING SHIT BRO WHAT) so now I'm remaking it but it's kinda the half assed version because im so tired and sleepy but

i have a theory. a film theory if you will! which is like probably kinda obvious because it intertwines with a lot of stuff you just know by looking at it or like by using your brain and connecting to past stuff but it's making me notice things that I just need to talk about so like..... anyways j digress

this also only makes sense if you've seen the ~40 second clip glee dango (missy martin) posted on her insta so if you haven't seen that go go go go and also won't make sense if you haven't watched the danger force episode (s1 ep8) return of the kid so if you haven't also go go go watch that because it's one of my favorite df episodes, not my all time favorite but definitely up there ANYWAY FILM THEORY THAT I WILL LOOK SO FUCKING STUPID FOR IF I'M WRONG BUT

i think the guy who pushed henry through that window is absolutely, 100% blackout

i come to this conclusion out of 3 different factors from the clip that are easily observable and serve to prove my point and these three factors are

SETTING

APPEARANCE

VOICE

in depth explanation under the cut

SETTING.

oh boy do i have quite a bit to say about where this clip takes place.

now what do these images show, what do these things say to you

at a first glance this says:

dark

creepy

run-down

dear god i would kill myself before living here

further than that, let's like break down what the fuck is in this place

starting from bottom to top, there's papers and chairs and like is that a lamp?? there's things thrown all over the place and it looks like either someone just crashed out severely in here or there was a fight that took place here not too long ago— judging by henrys relatively calm demeanor as he just walks up to this poster so casually and starts holding a small interaction with the person behind him, it doesn't look like he was the one who came in here and made this mess. probably not a fight!

the fact that henry falls from easily ten stories when he's pushed out, and the fact that in the window between the two distant henry posters there is a building with a light on (missy's house? mainly say that because of the light coming from it, but why would she live this close to blackout though so probs not) shows us that this is an area that people live in. this villian has a lair that is essentially hiding in plain sight. that makes the idea of this room being an abandoned or taken over office building makes more sense because it makes it harder for neglectful nickelodeon-class cops to find.

also, the fact that it's not very light-permitting in this place + it's night (or just an incredibly polluted area maybe both) gives way for the blackout theory because in return of the kid henry says that blackout strikes when all the lights are off!! so yippee!!!

the only thing i really have a bone to pick with about this frame is that fucking poster. because if my inferences are correct, that's probably a poster for a service he offers in dystopia or something along those lines. but those posters.

that says BIZWATCH.

BIZWATCH

on the first image in this section, the big poster he lolz at has, on the bottom, "we handle your bizness".

dear GOD there's a reason charlottes not in the movie and it's because if she was, bizwatch would have never been a name option on the table and there would be no movie JESSUUUSSSS SOMEBODY CALL UP MY GIRL, THE THINGS MEN DO WHEN YOU LEAVE THEM BEHIND OUGUGHHHH

im moving on with my life because my opinions on the name bizwatch could be its own post ngl

APPEARANCE

this one and the next are gonna be tinier sections but like, when blackout shows up like right before, he's this big puff of smoke or like shadow that can fly kinda?? and the first thing that my mind goes to are dementors & death eaters from harry potter like

eating people's souls is very similar to sucking their happiness in my mind and like the correlation although nothing to do with whatever blackout may or may not be able to do in canon just like strikes a cord with me like oh!! blackout!! flying as a puff of smoke and sucking people's souls!! i wonder what that reminds me of!!

also, additionally, the exact moment he kicks henry out that window he sorta like turns back into his normal form aka not just a black cloud and that's all we ever see of him. that little snapshot in that like 2 frames is all we get of whoever this villain might be, and MAY I ALLOW YOU TO JUST LIKE MAKE THE CONNECTIONS FOR YOURSELF BECAUSE

LIKE THAT LOOKS SIMILAR. YOU CAN'T TELL ME IT DOESN'T LOOK KINDA SIMILAR TO EACH OTHER AND I KNOW THE RELEASED CLIP VERSION IS LIKE SUPER DARK BUT LIKE ALSO THAT'S THE POINT OF BLACKOUTS COSTUME, IT'S DESIGNED LIKE THAT TO HELP HIM DISGUISE HIMSELF BETTER UNDER THE COVER OF DARKNESS AND UGH UGH UGHHHFHHDH!! ¢[¢[[¢

guys i love blackout 🤭🤭

im tweaking

VOICE

this one is. quite self explanatory but

i wish i could like add the other video of his voice in the new clip but they have a one video per post limit thing UGHHH😭😭 but like. SAME SHIT BRO SAME SHIT SAME SHIT AUUHGDHDHD

WHY I'M TWEAKING SO HARD ABOUT THIS

BECAUSE IT'S BLACKOUT! #! $! $?

blackout was the first and only villain we got to see EVER that showed us how bad dystopia actually was. henry had to flee from across the world to escape this guy, cut off all contacts from dystopia so that they wouldn't find him, and bribed the danger force to come and help him only when he literally had no other choice. blackout is one of the many things dystopia!henry is working so hard to keep under wraps because blackout is one of the worst of the worst things there is to behold in dystopia— at least, as we know of

expanding on his character not only will show us more about his and henrys relationship, but will also show us more about the world as a whole here! expanding on blackout is going to help build up dystopia as a world and environment— why is blackout, a bounty hunter, hunting for our protag in the first place? what did henry do (or rather, what did henry not do)? is this usual behavior for dystopia? is there no legal forces beyond bizwatch trying to stop this guy?? IS BLACKOUT WORKING ALONE?????

jesus christ this raises so many questions and can help expand on everything so much and if blackout is the main villain in the movie i will literally be so satisfied omg i love this bitch (watch him get two seconds of screen time/j)

if you made it this far thank you for coming to my ted talk🙏🙏

[domwitch]

Overwhelmed rn by my desire to fulfill my purpose and be owned by a woman 😖

I wasn't meant to be a person all the time; most of the time, I'm supposed to be a beautiful woman's possession, and I need to be reminded of that, *often.*

I should be wearing two collars at all times (one for my neck, and one for my dick) as a constant symbol that reminds me and everyone who sees me that I am OWNED! I would fiddle happily with my neck collar all day, just thinking about how lucky I am to have such a nice, pretty owner. And if I ever get horny, my dick collar will feel tighter, and remind me that my body doesn't belong to me, it belongs to ✨️her!✨️

I shouldn't wear anything except for what my owner tells me, because she always picks out the bestest, prettiest, sluttiest outfits for me, that show off my body and make me feel so cute!

As my owner, she should have total access and control of my body--as a male, I was born to submit to her, so that's only natural. 💕 She touches me whenever and wherever she wants, and she has the authority to fuck me anytime, even if I'm asleep, or if I thought I was going to do something else.

I can't touch myself without her permission, obviously. And I only get to cum when she says it's okay, and only where she tells me. Usually she makes me cum inside her, but sometimes she likes seeing me cum all over my own belly, and then she'll clean me by eating up all of my seed (sometimes she even lets me eat some!!)

Sometimes she ties me up and just uses me like the dildo I am 🥰 Sometimes she gets naked, and tells me very carefully how to touch her and help her cum 🥺 Sometimes she makes me stay inside of her while she does people things. It can be frustrating if she ignores me, but I have to remember that all I was made for is her pleasure. Plus, she feels so nice and warm inside, I should be thankful that she's keeping my delicate cock safe.

It goes beyond sex, too--if my owner tells me to do something, I should do it without question. She's a woman--she's just naturally smarter and more in control than I am, so why would I ever not listen to her? And I should do things for her even when she hasn't asked--cook her nice meals, and do the house chores for her, and give her a nice massage when she gets home from work. I can't possibly imagine the amount of stress she's under sometimes, but I can be a good useful man for her.

I think men would be happier if they just accepted that they were born to submit to women. All men are for is looking pretty for women, making life easier for women, making their woman feel good in bed, and, if she wants them, to provide children for their woman.

Literally all I was made for was to submit to a woman. 😌

Bro honestly I'd love to have a househusband like this in the future. Free use and service sub??? That seems too good to be true, honestly. I also love the way you describe penetration as a generous way to keep your cock safe. It honestly makes more sense, since cocks are so delicate! It puts a whole new perspective on cockwarming honestly. Ouughhhh... Free use service sub to cooks and cleans and fucks me save me......

[andydrysdalerogers]

Cross-Checked ~ Chapter Seven

Andy Barber x OFC Leighton "Leia" Andrews

Summary:

Andy Barber is having the best year of his life. His game is on point. It’s gets to play with his best friend and his fiancé just... dumped him?!. 

Reeling from a sudden change in status, Andy decides it’s time to just focus on hockey. Until his best friend's sister comes out with news that rock the entire organizations world., 

Andy has always carried a torch for the untouchable Leighton but in her hour of need, is now the time to shoot and score or risk getting cross - checked again? 

Warnings: Cheating (but not by the MCs); slow burn; friends to lovers eventually; SMUT!; pregnancy; jealousy; handsome goalies, evil exes...

A/N: The tag list is open!

I do NOT give permission for my work to be translated or reposted on here or any other site, even if you give me credit. DO NOT REPOST MY FICS. Reblogs, comments, likes, and feedback ALWAYS appreciated

Dividers by @firefly-graphics

Banners by me!

Previous: Chapter Six - A Swift Kick In The Pants - Andy

Series Masterlist // Main Masterlist

Chapter Seven - A Little Boston Magic - Andy/Leia

Andy 

I’m trying really hard to not say anything.  

It’s physically painful to not say anything.  

But here I am, watching the girl of my dreams getting ready for a date. With another man.  And not just another man. One of my team mates.  

Jeremy Swayman.  

If I didn’t think it would end with me getting my ass beat by Ullmark or my defensemen or my forwards, fuck, basically the whole team, I would have sabotage this date and put Swayman in a ditch.  

Why do I say that? 

Because Jeremy Swayman is the worst when it comes to women.  He has puck bunnies climbing him left and right. The problem is, most women say he was sweet, and they understood that it was just a hook-up. No one talks about how degrading he could be. The things I have heard in the locker room; its like he is an overgrown frat bro.  

And my girl is going out with him.  

Fuck my life.  

I’ve stayed in my room tonight as she got ready.  I know that I cannot keep the scowl from my face if I try. Then I would have to explain why and you couldn’t pay me enough to let that information out. I’m reading in my room when I hear a knock.  “Yeah?” 

“Andy, can you help me with my zipper please?” Leia peaks around the door in a robe. “I can’t reach it.”  

Just kill me. Strike me down.  I don’t want see her in her dress. I don’t want to know what she looks like for a first date that isn’t with me.  “Sure Princess.”  I get up slowly and have her spin.  She lowers the robe for me to see the two flaps of her black dress. I reach for the zipper and accidentally run my knuckle down her spine. I think I hear a quiet moan escape her mouth and I work on holding back my own moan. Her skin is like silk, soft and warm and oh fuck, I have to fight the urge to kiss the exposed skin.  I pull the zipper up and step back. “All done.”  

��Uh, yeah, thank you.” She closes the robe and steps back. She takes a good look at my face and I know she can see something there.  “Are you ok?” 

“I’m fine. Just tired.” I give her a weak smile. I don’t want to do this right now.  I just want her to go because it fucking hurts to see how beautiful she is and its not for me. “Some of the guys asked about grabbing a beer so i might do that but get to bed early.”  

“Oh, okay.  Well I just need to finish up and I’ll get out of your way.”  

“It’s not a problem Princess.  Be safe and have fun.” I kiss the top of her head and she leaves.  Fifteen minutes later, I heard the doorbell and Leia climbing down the steps. I headed to my window. I watched as Jeremy opened the door for Leia, made sure she was in and went to the driver’s side and got in.  

I waited a few minutes before calling a car service. I can’t stay here tonight. I just need to drown my sorrows, but I can’t call Luke. I headed to a bar across town.  Hopefully, I can drink in peace.  

Leia 

I am nervous. I hadn’t been on a date in a long time. Bret barely took me out unless it was to impress someone. His clout was that I was the sister of an NHL player.  Whatever, he’s out of my life now, regardless of child in my belly.  

My child.  

This is such a fucked up situation but Andy was right.  No point in worrying about telling anyone unless it was going to be a thing.  This is not a thing yet with Jeremy. At least, I don’t think. I just like the attention.  

As Jeremy drives us to the restaurant, my mind can’t help but think of the way Andy looked as he was zipping my dress. He’s eyes were dark, almost lustful, as he ran his knuckle across my skin.  It was rough but it felt so good. It’s confusing. I mentally give myself a shake and focus on Jeremy.  

“I made a reservation at Grill 23.” Jeremy smile falters.  “Shit, I forgot to ask if you eat meat.” He swallows and looks back at the road.  

I giggle.  “It’s ok, I do eat meat. I’ve never been to Grill 23.” I smile at him.  “So, how was practice?” 

“It was good. Had some good stretches in butterfly. My hip was bothering me so the trainers updated my stretching routine.”  

“Butterfly?” 

“Oh, when we are down on our knees and our legs as splayed out, like wings.”  

I couldn’t help but giggle again. Goalies are so flexible. “Well, I’m glad you are taking care of yourself. Need you to help get the cup.”  

“That’s my plan, sweetheart.” Jeremy took my hand and drove with one hand. Its incredible sexy. “How’s the business going?” 

“It’s good, still building my client list. Got a couple of baseball players that Andy and Luke know to come on board, Adler and Storm.  And I have a meeting with the Patriots social media as well.” I was excited for the Patriots meeting. While the Bruins were the top in the NHL, everyone knew the Patriots. Even if I would never get to work with Tom Brady.  

“I know you’re gonna do great.”  Jeremy lifted my hand and he kissed my knuckles.  Ok, swoon.  

We pulled up to the restaurant and the valet opens my door. Jeremy takes my arm and we walk in. “Reservation for Swayman,” he told the hostess.   

She gave him a big smile, which made me dim a bit. “Mr. Swayman, welcome. Please, follow me.” Was it necessary for her sway her hips like that as she walked? Jeremy changes his hold on me, now linking our hands and intertwining out fingers. “Here you go Mr. Swayman.”  

Jeremy moves to pull my chair. “Here you go sweetheart.” I smile and sit before he takes the seat next to me instead of across. The hostess looks like she’s eaten a lemon now.  She hands over the menus and walks away. “Wow,” Jeremy said. “She must be jealous because I have the most beautiful girl in Boston having dinner with me.”  

I blush at his words. “Jeremy, stop.” He laughs and we move on with our date. He’s a perfect gentleman the entire time. He didn’t question when I said I just wanted water instead of a drink or when I passed on the oysters. That’s the down side of pregnancy. No alcohol or raw seafood.  

“Would you like to go and grab a drink, a coffee?” Jeremy is walking me out the door.  “There is a lounge around the corner. Listen to some music?” He’s face is hopeful. And then he smiles and I’m gone.  

“Sure, we can do that.” His smile grows and he holds my hand a little tighter.  

The lounge is dark, save the candlelight all around and the spotlight on the band.  Its a 40s band, playing old school tunes. We snag a table a he orders both of us a water.  “If you want to have a drink, its fine.”  

“Nah, have a game tomorrow and I don’t want to get bloated.  Besides, I don’t want to drink when you’re not. Is there a reason?” 

Fuck. Ok, just have to breathe through this question. “Umm, I had a bad experience with alcohol so I just don’t anymore.” I smile. “Lesson learned when I was underage.”  

“Ah,” Jeremy says. “Well, healthy body and all that.”  

The band starts up a slow song.  Jeremy stands up and turns to me.  “Could I have this dance, sweetheart?” 

Did I create this man with magic? It takes everything in me not to swoon. He’s perfect. I take his hand and he leads me to the dance floor. We dance slowly, my body is pressed close to his, hands on my waist. When he looks at me, I’m lost in his eyes. He raises a hand and caresses my cheek. “Beautiful,” he whispers.  

His lips are soft when they are pressed against mine.  

Andy 

I’ve been sitting at Red Line for a good two hours and Mike keeps me topped off. First thing he asked when he saw my face was whether I was driving or not.  He’s a good guy.  I mentioned taking a cab, he poured the first drink.  

How did my life come to this? I mean, I think I’m a catch. Women have no problem telling me how handsome I am.  I have more money than I know what to do with. I have friends and yet I have never felt lonelier. Maybe I earned Fiona finding someone else. I had been so focused on the captaincy that I lost focus on her. But I was doing it for our future. The future. When did it change to wanting to raise Leia’s baby with her and have my family? I guess it was always there. I knew what i wanted a long time ago.  

All I want is the one person I can’t have.  

I think I am on my third or fourth bourbon when i feel someone sit next to me. I ignore whoever it is because really, I am not good company right now.  

“Andy?” 

My head looks up to see Leia’s best friend Stella seated next to me. “Hey Stel.”  

“What are you doing here?” She has genuine concern on her face.  

“Leia’s out and I didn’t want to be alone in the house. I mean, I’m alone in life, so I guess should get used to it but not tonight.” I threw the drink back and waved down Matt for another.  

“Don’t you have a game tomorrow?” As Matt put down my refill, Stella picked it up and downed it.  

“Hey, that was mine!” I looked at her. “What do you want, Stella?” 

“I’ve been watching you and I got worried. The last time i saw you like this was...” she hesitates.  

“You can say it. Fiona.  The last time i was like this was Fiona.” Mike put a glass of water in front of me.  I looked at him questioningly.  

“Drink it and I’ll give you another,” he said. I sighed, flipped him off and downed the water. It felt good going down.  I looked at Mike and he poured another, which I kept from Stella this time.  I took a sip and looked back at Stella.  

“Talk to me, Andy.”  

“I can’t watch her date. I can’t watch her find happiness without me. Especially with him. He’s not a good guy but I can’t say anything because she’ll hate me.  I can’t have her hate me.I don’t want to lose her.”  I could feel my eyes burn with tears that I would not let out.  Like hell was I going to do that.  

“Oh, Andy. Why not tell her?” 

“How does she know?” I can feel myself pale. “Stella, you can’t... Fuck, how do you even know?” 

“Are you kidding me, Barber? Half the team knows that you have been into Leia for years. You are not sublte about it. Really, I’m surprised Luke hasn’t kicked your ass by now.”  

Fuck. I hang my head. “Then why doesn’t she like me back?  What’s wrong with me?  Fiona cheated, Leia ignores me.” Mike set another glass and I sipped it. “It has to be me right?” 

“Andy, you don’t see it, do you?” She leaned her head on my shoulder. “You’re catch. And trust me, we all know it. We just know who belongs to you and we’re waiting for her to get her head out of her ass.”  

“Who?” Stella made like she was locking her mouth. “I think you’re lying Stella.  But thanks.”  

We sat for a moment when Stella said, “you like her a lot don’t you?” 

“No,” I shook my head. “I’m in love with her.” 

Leia 

We pulled up to my house and I can see the house is dark.  Andy’s probably asleep; he said he was turning in early. As Jeremy killed the engine, I turned to him. “I had a great night.”  

“Me too.  Let me walk you to the door.” Jeremy climbed out and went to open my door.  We were at the door when another car pulled up to the house.  

“Stella?” I looked as she pulled into the driveway. She had someone else in the car with her.  “What are you doing here?” 

“Jeremy, oh thank god.  Can you help me?” She went to the passenger side and opened the door and I gasped.  

“What happened?” I watched as Jeremy helped Andy to his very unsteady feet.  I moved to the door to open it. “Put him on the couch.”  I turned to Stella.  “You went out with Andy?” My tone came out harsher than I intended.  

Stella took a step back. “No. I was hanging out with some of the trainers at The Red Line and when everyone left, I noticed him at the bar. He was four in, according to Mike. I tried to sober him up but he was too far gone already.  Mike helped me get him to the car. I was going to call Luke but thankfully Jeremy is here.” 

“Oh.” Why would Andy do this? I looked at him, passed out on the couch. “Thanks for taking care of him Stel.”  

“He’s my friend too, you know. I’m just glad I was there.” She turned and smiled at Jeremy. “Thank you for your help.”  

“Anytime, Stella. Sweetheart, can you handle him?” 

I nodded.  “I’m gonna leave him here and just put a blanket over him. Let me walk you guys out.” Stella waved as she walked to her car. I turned to Jeremy, who wrapped his arms around me. “Thank you for a wonderful evening, Jeremy.”  

“I’m happy you liked it. Can we do it again, soon?” His eyes, even in the dark, looked hopeful.  

“I would love to. Good night Jeremy.” I felt myself blush and look down.  

He tilted my chin. “Good night, sweetheart.” And he kissed me gently. God, this man can kiss. He pulled away and brushed my nose with his. “Talk to you later.”  He walked to his car and I went back in, closing the house.  I turned to Andy, who let out a soft snore. I sighed. I went to him, pulled off his shoes and threw a throw blanket over him.  I kissed his forehead.  

I want to know why he got drunk tonight, especially before a game day. Its so not like him.  

My phone chimed as i made it into my room. 

Stella: Talk to him. I think you would like what he has to say 

NEXT

Taglist:

@patzammit

@texmexdarling

@slutforchrisjamalevans

@firephotogrl74

@tinkerbelle67

@before-we-get-started

@bunnyforhim

@alexakeyloveloki

@sunnyhummingbee

@whiskeytangofoxtrot555

@peaceinourtime82

@saucy-sassy-sparkly

@kmc1989

@kandis-mom

@lokislady82

[kaycode1999]

Hi!! I love your workk!! It's soo darn good <33 Hope you are doing amazing! So I saw you are doing matchups and I wanted a kny, jjk and bsd matchup (CAN WE PLEASE DO A MUTUAL MATCH UP 😭😭🙏!!)

Personality: I’m an ENFP. I am an ambivert. I love talking to people but also it sucks the soul out me. And by the end of the day I just want to be alone. I love trying something new (Always in for an adventure), but I absolutely LOVE to travel. I try to always be nice to people and make them comfortable with me. In my friend group I am the most chaotic kid (in college) I used to be the mom friend but now I'm just a chaotic kid who my friends take care of😭. Fun fact I also the youngest in the group and hence is it is like declared that I need to go to a mental asylum. I take pride in myself in being so funny that people are concerned if I am okay. I am also very VERY clumsy and forgetful. I also get distracted very very quickly. I LOVE LOVE FASHION! And Me and my guy best friend always judge fashion in our college. I am also quite dramatic (Unfortunate for my pookies, cause I have made their peaceful life a living hell). I also curse a LOT.

And I have zero shame, I flirt with my friend in every second line. But If I actually like some. ZIP! NO VOICE COMING OUT!

AnD HeRe CoMeS ThE TrAuMa~~ I have big BIG attachment issues. I am the only child in my family and hence have to be picture perfect. Like the best Miss world be feminine, independent, financially stable, get the topper grades, also always put family first, be polite, be the therapist you get the point. I have accomplished this to the point I am the prodigy child now. This also kind of made me good at everything but yeah CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT.

My music taste varies to the people I am attached to. Yes, this is why my spotify wrap is always a history book. It shows how many times I have fucked up.

I think my love language is almost anything, especially giving gifts and acts of service, Normally I don't like that much of mushy hugs and all thing but If I am really close to someone be it friends or relationship. Bro you are never getting me off. The clingiest mf you'll meet then. I will follow you like a god damn puppy follows its mom.

Pronouns and age: she/her, I’m a female and straight (male preference). I am 19.

Hobbies: I have a bunch of them actually, I just gain them like Pokémon's. Minor inconvenience in my life, BOOM a new hobby :). I LOVE to dance, I love to listen to music, I do play guitar and drums a little, I like to crochet, bake, cook, sketch, paint, Fashion. I also love to wrtie poetry and letters.

Type: Honestly, I love Introverted cuties, with a geeky side cause when introverts start to yap it the most cuties fucking thing. BUT with a sense of humor! I can also end up with anyone who matches my freak. But too well cause idk why i brother zone them. ( This is why i am never getting a bf)

Appearance: I have medium-length black hair and dark brown eyes, almost black. I have lush eyelashes and eyebrows. I also am 5'3 (It ain't that short). I wear glasses too. I usually in college have old money style and street style but as I have said, very diverse in fashion. I just don't wear too short clothes (those micro skirt and shit do not like, no offense if you like them (I AM SORRY) )

I wouldn’t like to get mahito, muzan or mori and fukuzawa ( I see him as a father figure)

Sure! I’d love a matchup!

By the way thank you for your patience with me getting this up and I hope your 2025 is going well!

I have a self matchup with all my information on my page if you want to look for it or I can send it to your inbox- either one

I match you with

Jujutsu Kaisen

Takuma Ino

BSD

Junichiro Tanizaki *not gonna lie a small part of this was just because I need him to be with anyone but his sister because 🤢🤮. We’re just gonna pretend that whole thing doesn’t exist*

Demon Slayer

Kyojuro Rengoku

All 3 of them do lean on the extroverted/sociable side, maybe not completely extroverted/outgoing but at least know how to socialize with people when the situation calls for it. but they all understand having a social battery that gets drained

All of them enjoy experiencing new things with you and also traveling

They are all kind just like you and like to make people around them comfortable

Honestly all of them find your chaotic nature humorous as well as have a caring and protective natures so they’re kind of the order to your chaos

It depends on the severity of your clumsiness, if you get hurt a lot because of it they will be concerned but if it’s not that serious they don’t worry TOO much. All three of them are in professions that mean they either know people who are willing to help you with your coordination or they can help you themselves so that you at least don’t get hurt too much *this is if you want to of course*

Rengoku and Ino specifically would prefer you at least get basic self defense training because demons/curses just because they want to make sure you are able to keep yourself safe

As long as there’s nothing worrisome or concerning/dangerous causing it they don’t mind your forgetfulness. If you want they don’t mind helping you by getting things like calendars or reminders for important things, or even other processes that might help- again it’s completely up to you though

They all find your love of fashion endearing

Ino and Tanizaki don’t care about you cursing as long as it isn’t in inappropriate times/situations. They don’t do it excessively themselves but still do it a reasonable amount

It takes Rengoku some time to get used to it because poor baby hardly curses at all except for one word here or there, it makes him flustered at first but once he gets used it to he doesn’t mind as long as it isn’t at inappropriate times/situations

There is probably some variation for all of them of them finding out you like them where they were confused or thought they did something wrong when you couldn’t talk to them but when they find out they think it’s adorable and unfortunately you will be teased about it

The good thing about your relationship with all 3 of them is that they are loyal, caring, and loving. They understand your attachment issues and make sure to help you feel secure that they aren’t going anywhere

Ino and Kyojuro in their own ways understand the pressures of feeling like you have to be perfect very well. They both put way too much expectations on themselves for either the same or different reasons so they go through it too. They try to help you with working through it just like you do for them

I haven’t seen anything about Junichiro that would make me think he goes through the same thing but he would also do his best to be there for you and help you work though it

They probably get you into different songs/artists/bands/genres maybe you haven’t heard before and vice versa

I get the feeling all three of them tend to be spoiling in almost all aspects; gifts, words of affirmation, acts of service, etc. but they all love physical affection so feel free to be as clingy as you want with them

They all enjoy seeing whatever new hobby you have and would love for you to tell them all about it. They all try to join in if and when they can because they take interest in you and your hobbies but obviously not everything is going to be for everyone. They also enjoy seeing the things you end up doing or creating through it because they are intrigued by it

I think there are similarities and differences with all of them that they are similar enough to enjoy your company but not so similar as to be a problem

I hope you enjoy it!

[arcplaysgames]

hey so i noticed this guy in the intro sequence and are you telling me Chaz is getting a fucking persona because that's fucking dope, his outfit looks so silly, is that FRINGE i see???? amazing

ANYWAY we're trying to get out of this Palace and protect our new chobit when

CHOBIT GOT A FUCKING PERSONA?

Actually the game..... is unsure???????? lmao It has no idea what the fuck this is and all of the skills have a little ? after them which is VERY funny.

I DO know that a Pithos is a term for the old earthenware pots that the old Greeks used. It is also related to the myth of Pandora and is the actual vessel she carried around, which we tend to mistranslate to "box."

I know this because there is a Linux client for the Pandora radio service called Pithos that I used ages ago.

I am very interested in the possibility of Sophia being associated with Pandora, but also just her name is interesting. P5 Vanilla had a lot of Gnostic shit going on, and in Gnosticism, Sophia was.... gdi was she associated with Abraxas or Yaldaboath? I'm not looking it up, the POINT IS that Sophia is definitely a name from that whole mythos.

oh fuck she was literally found in a box, PANDORA'S box, oh for god's sake. Persona!!!!! lmao.

You're doing great, Sophia.

I MANAGED TO GRAB A CAP OF REVERIE POLE DANCING, YOU ARE WELCOME.

Reverie's life path should either be a social worker or a housespouse who moonlights as a burlesque dancer. Those are the ONLY two options. I lean towards the latter because I want Reverie to be a trophy wife and spend all of Akechi's his husband's money on outrageous outfits.

SOPHIA IS GREAT. The way her VA goes from this not-quite-but-almost monotone cadence to these verbal SFX moments is DELIGHTFUL.

Anyway, she finds a portal out of the Palace and doesn't actually want to leave the Metaverse?

Ryuji, if she dies the moment we leave the Metaverse, I will kill you, dude.

BUT NO ITS EVEN BETTER

SHE IS IN THE PHONE

so canonically Futaba has hacked Reverie's phone and can monitor him that way. then there was the Metanav malware shit. now we got the EMMA adware nightmare. and now Sophia is in there too.

Reverie, what the fuck is wrong with your phone, bro?

oh god she's not even an app she's fucking Bonzai Buddy, i'm dying. this game is great so far. zero notes.

IMPORTANT THING TO NOTE THOUGH

it's not a palace, it's a jail.

That......... is interesting. Those are practically opposite concepts, honestly, palace vs jail. I wonder if instead of the situation in P5 where the cognitive world bent around the distorted desires of the ruler based on their real life issues, a jail might be an inversion. What if you have the call of the void intrusive thought kinda shit which is fairly harmless and then something happens that traps you in a cage of those desires? Morgana mentions that he's getting faint hints of Treasure in there but not actually detecting A Legit Treasure, so what if something else is going on here?

ANYWAY that's pure conjecture and the game might just being calling palaces by a new name.

i have missed you yusuke kitagawa, welcome back.

ALSO I GOTTA SAY. Ryuji's VA is doing so much fucking work, it's so nice. Like, all my issues with the clunky writing of P5 Vanilla are gone, this feels much closer to the naturalistic style of P4G (though it hasn't quite hit that apex yet, tbh, but we're early on).

I like that Morgana already feels a kinship with Sophia based on their similar experiences not knowing what they are and where they came from.

If Sophia winds up being, like, Igor's version of Duolingo, I will laugh.

Back to the point: We gotta figure out what the fuck is up with Alice, so vacation plans are on hold.

someone please feed Yusuke, i don't know if he's eaten since Reverie left Tokyo.

morgana i don't know if you realize but you are basically going to be sophia's mentor. you must advise her how to be a good companion and friend, which includes having the best jokes, being a great teacher, how to fit in a carryone, and purring. i believe in you, morgana.

I THINK I LIKE PERSONA 5 STRIKERS, FOLKS

i want to fluff her too, she looks so COZY in that thing. I understand where Ann is coming from. Just give her a hug and rubrubrub those arms. uwu

[scentofpines]

long ass text

yesterday was one of those days where i felt like the whole world really did conspire against me. when i was at the train station i heard someone call my name and it turned out to be the girl from the welcome event last week that i got along with really well but hadnt seen since and guess why?? she switched programs. to ECONOMICS :| and we were on the train together for 30 minutes and usually that wouldve killed me to do with someone i dont know well but we were really vibing and this makes me so fucking mad, i was really looking forward to having courses with her :(

then i had a seminar (the one abt women and gender history) and it sucked. the lecturer seemed nice (albeit in a bit of a manic way) but the thing is a) half of the seminar will be reading this AWFUL book about basically the history of gender history/philosophy which i tried to force myself to read a few weeks ago and gave up after 40 pages bc i didnt get ANYTHING. and she said repeatedly how well written and understandable that book is :))) and b) even though i asked her via mail before i signed up for the course what the exam will look like and she said its a written one now she came out and said we will have to do a book presentation. and, like a normal presentation would be bad enough but doable but a book presentation?? presenting a modern scientific book about a topic instead of just presenting the topic itself seems so fucking useless to me????? i think i will drop out of this course and do a lecture abt prehistoric drugs instead bc i genuinely dont have the energy for weirdly structured stupid classes anymore.

today we were SUPPOSED to have a lecture about greek archaeology and the dude who was supposed to do it just didnt fucking show up???? we waited for 50 minutes and then just left lmao. i just looooveeed taking a stinky, 3 hour long (there and back again) train ride for nothing.

but at least i got to know two girls i guess. i already chatted with one of them on whatsapp and we talked about ukrainian/russian folk music which she also likes lol and i complimented her name, which is kinda arrogant bc i have the same one lmao just spelled differently bc hers is transcribed from ukrainian. and then she complimented mine back lol. so she seemed pretty nice and the other girl too, buttttt they are...idk extremely girly girlypop perfectly styled girls and i always feel soooo weird and out of place with women like that.

oh god and at one point they both said that they were "for real on the spectrum". bro. BRO. i have literally NEVER seen more well adjusted women who had ZERO issue conversing in this full loud ass room for 50 mins straight, who also had customer service jobs that they can do with basically no issue and that were completely chill just randomly chatting with ppl they dont know well. YOU ARE NOT FUCKING AUTISTIC. YES I TAKE THIS LABEL AWAY FROM YOU. ITS NOT YOURS. MY LEFT ASS CHEEK IS MORE AUTISTIC THAN BOTH OF YOU COMBINED but i still dont go around telling ppl im on this fucking "sPeCtRuM". this term has become so meaningless. i cant imagine how absolutely awful actually autistic ppl have to feel with everyone nowadays basically appropriating their (often) life ruining disorder if i already feel like shit. i know ppl dont mean it like that but it feels so mocking.

and tomorrow i have to get up at 6:30am and drive there again and i will probably get my presentation topic for this other course. but at least i will be back home at 1pm and then i wont have to go to uni for friday and the weekend. its only week 2 and i already feel so awful. oh and btw i fucking miss my fav professor so much it hurts, i know men are evil blabla but i have insane father hunger sometimes (i think thats what its called) and my god. would i do anthing for him to be my father. and then i see my actual father and i just want to throw up and kill either him or myself. genuinely my prof has shown me more loving consideration than my father in the last 15+ years. ok now you know the depths of my pathetic soul if you read this far congrattssss and goodnight

[shayandwildlifepack]

I have been really going through it with bad memories from my life as Zuki lately, lol.

So, instead, I wanna share some good memories I have so I can balance out the bad.

Since I was like an older sibling to Izuku, I would let him help me preen my wings and shit, which is a thing for mostly family [and mates]. He was one of the only ones that I allowed to do this for a long time. Eventually, others from Class 1A got added to the list of people who were allowed to even touch my wings, let alone preen them. Hikari, my queer platonic partner, was the second person who I allowed to preen my wings [of my class], we may not have been romantic, but they were still my mate. Hitoshi was the third cause he was my little brother, legally this time, lol. Toshi was the least likely to ask to preen my wings though, even after getting permission to ask, I would usually have to ask him if he wanted to help for him to feel like he could, lol [it did come from his trauma though so it's ok, love you bro]. I allowed Denki to touch my wings and tail cause it would help with his ADHD sometimes, which mood I would play with my own tail to help my ADHD, lol. There are others, but these are the ones I feel like sharing rn.

Bro, I remember hanging out with the "girls" [I use quotes cause not everyone identified as a girl/woman]. We would have "girl's night," which once again not everyone identified with that gender but it's pretty much what we would call it, lol. It was fun. We would paint each other's nails. The ones who knew makeup and shit would help those who wanted to learn. And we would just talk about shit. I miss these "girl's nights" so much.

I miss the game nights we would have as a whole class. We had to ban some games cause of how people got, lol. Monopoly was the first one to be banned, lol. We would play Uno the most, even though people got very competitive [*cough* Bakugo and me mainly *cough*]. We also had to ban truth or dare, and I will not be explaining why, I think it's obvious why. Would you rather and never have I ever were allowed though, lol.

Dadzawa and Papamic would take me, Eri, and Toshi to do fun activities, such as arts and crafts, go trick or treating, and other fun shit, lol. I would usually end up carrying Eri at some point cause she loved to be carried, and it helped with my protective instincts, lol. I would usually wrap my wings around her while holding her, and she loved it. If someone who is good at art would draw that for me, I would love it [I don't have money rn so I'm not gonna commission anyone right now, but I might when I get enough money, lol].

I would never have described myself as good with kids, and I would say that I wasn't a lot. My friends and family tended to disagree with me there. They would bring up how good I was with Eri, Kota, and a kid who is not canon. But I would bring up in response that they were all traumatized kids that I latched onto in a sibling way mainly but also cause I saw bits of myself in them and didn't want them to not have someone. Other kids I was definitely not good with. I would say I'm not really good with kids in this life, even though at the church I am forced to go to, I help with the kids, lol. Kids are kinda weird.

I remember Remo, my service dog, and despite the fact that I had been so fucking upset that I needed another being/creature with me to function, I loved him. I remember when I would have him off duty and use my quirk to become a little wolfdog with wings spirit thing and play with him, lol. I also used that to play with Hikari, whose quirk let them become certain animals, lol. It was very fun to do these things and I miss being able to do that.

I really miss everyone. I miss my life as Zuki. I miss my pack. I miss my wings. I miss my tail. I miss my ears. I miss my sharp teeth. I miss my claws. I miss being Zuki physically.

- Zuki Shay Lupo (They/it/xe)

[jaggedwolf]

pll rewatch 2x16

the aftermath of caleb's surprise party. does my guy even get to celebrate his birthday? don't do surprise parties in rosewood, just don't.

The liars appear to be back at Spencer’s house, not the lakehouse, as they debrief the missing Lucas situation, and I am so distracted by the absence of Caleb

Don’t get me wrong, PLL is at its best when the men don’t matter, but from Caleb’s PoV, he showed up to a surprise birthday party where his girlfriend dragged herself out of the lake, the guy whose house he’s living in is missing, and he uh, did not stick around to question the girls?

A took the opportunity to fill Hanna’s water bottle with lakewater. Gross.

Hanna tells the girls that Lucas destroyed Alison’s memorial — sometimes PLL slow walks reveals in frustrating ways, but here is an example that makes sense, where Hanna would not disclose this secret

Spencer: Well, my family never uses that house after LABOR DAY

Okay, no she doesn’t yell LABOR DAY like that but that’s all I can hear when anyone ever says that phrase in this show

Maya’s crisis hotline call joke is funny to me. In the same courtyard that Emily yelled at Aria for having sex dreams about Jason, Emily’s like well, Maya, say something dirty then. 

Emily confidently says she can get a fake ID for Maya and later we learn what she means is that she can snag Aria’s because bouncers in Jersey concert venues are so blind that all short brunettes look alike. Sure. 

Caleb is ready to be a good bro and chase down Lucas, Ashley wants to call Lucas’s parents because her daughter threw the party and the whole time Hanna is like guys, what’s the big deal, can’t we all forget about the guy I knocked overboard with an oar???

My favourite A message this episode is with the fucking boat in the overflowing sinks of the school bathroom, where A texts

Life is but a dream, Hanna. And I'm your worst nightmare.

Maya ditches Emily at the call center (again, this is her community service punishment, why can she bring guests over) because of mysterious texts and Emily is conflicted on asking her

I’m just grateful this leads to Emily actually discussing a girlfriend with a liar for longer than one sentence, it’s been a minute. Even if that conversation is basically

Hanna: It sucks keeping a secret! 😤 Emily: Well, it sucks having a secret kept from you.😟

The Sparia scene in Philly where they follow up on the receipt is so odd. They take ten years to realize the newsstand right in front of them is the store they’re looking for, Aria is supposedly on house arrest outside of Holden dates but is gallivanting with Spencer here, and then, when Aria ditches her....

Spencer sees more than one blind person and you can see her eyes go ALERT ALERT ALERT SUSPICIOUS BEHAVIOUR ALERT ALERT

She just starts randomly following blind people?? Till she gets to the blind people school???  And it is indeed the school Jenna went to??? She has a conversation with some guy who thought Jenna was the raddest girl ever???? She steals a visitor log?????

The blind school receptionist is played by Symmetra from Overwatch, is my only other note on this scene. Weird to realize that when this episode aired Overwatch was three years away. 

Emily and Aria are at Hanna’s house while a storm rages on and are like...well...we guess we could stay and ditch our dates to keep you company while you are terrified of Lucas showing up like an axe murderer...and Hanna is like nah, I’m good. 

As Aria leaves she reminds Hanna “SOS okay”. (1) Oh so it’s not just a Spencer thing anymore, they’ve all agreed on it. (2) Aria, you are going to a play! Your phone better be turned off! No checking your texts during a play, I know Byron and Ella raised you better than smh

Rosewood’s train station (or the closest one to it) is in a slightly more run down area than the rest of the town, and Spencer gets jumpscared by Mona.

Is this the first time we’ve ever seen Spencer uh,  care about Mona? Spencer is the liar whose affection and loyalty is drawn most tightly, whose circle of compassion is limited to the liars, her SO, and her family.

Mona: Do you know how hard I have to work to get a guy like Noel Kahn to go out with me?

Spencer: Well, if you’ve become the Mona you want to be, why are you letting Noel Kahn tell you that you’re not good enough? You cannot let him send you spinning backwards like that.

Mona: You’re, like, smart smart. I always thought you were just book smart.

Spencer is genuine in her vehemence here, it’s not a pretense

Aria should have just stayed home with Hanna, the slo-mo Ezria staring at the theatre made me want to gag. Of course Holden noticed.

Emily makes a face of biphobia when Maya says “he” referring to her stalker ex and you know Maya does not even think of that possibly being an issue, I am glad she is still the same Maya post-wilderness camp

The big Lucas reveal is that....he got into sports gambling and lost Caleb’s money? I’m sorry, what. I completely forgot this subplot. 

Somehow Hanna is madder about this than Caleb. Caleb is clearly pissed off but he’s also like, we’ll work it out bro, meanwhile Hanna is dramatically going “I don’t know who you are” and that’s the last of Lucas we see for the next few episodes

Don’t get me wrong, yelling on a boat while there’s only two of you or creeping into someone’s house? Very inappropriate behaviour, but that does not seem to be what Hanna is mad about. Strange.

Also Ashley Marin is taking a bath and hears none of this shit go down, must be a good bath.

Garrett checked Jenna out the night of Ali’s murder. Wasn’t she 15/16 then? Is this blind school checking out minors to people who aren’t parents or guardians? Wild-ass behaviour

Worms in your chinese food! Worms in your chinese food! Terrible!

This does not appear to be themed on anyone's secret, A had this idea on the backburner and simply had to let it out.

[bradenthompson]

Insurgent (2015) notes

Give Divergent (2014) this: I did immediately put on the sequel.

>iirc, I bought a ticket to this movie opening weekend, for the purposes of sneaking into a screening of Kingsman: the Secret Service. So I'm partly implicit in this movie being #1 at that weekend's box office.

>by 2015, Lionsgate had acquired Summit Entertainment, further consolidating their power in the bloody history of YA Movie Feudalism. This is important because at the top of Insurgent is a splash logo for Summit subsidiary International Distribution Company LLC, touters of maybe the worst splash logo of all time. Looks like a PS2 game, but like, the ones made when the PS3 was already out.

>also producing is one Red Wagon Entertainment, the production name for one Douglas Wick, producer for all three Divergent movies as well as 2005's Jarhead and Memoirs of a Geisha. So if you want someone to blame for these movies never concluding, well, he's a name that's public.

>Winslet says "...by dividing people based on personality and aptitude..." which goes against what I understood Faction Society to be. Citizens self-select their factions, don't they? Or is forced division a new thing since the Great Beatrice Crisis

>It'd be really funny if Kate Winslet is only seen on computer screens for the entirety of this movie. Just rolled up to the bluescreen studio and knocked out her role in one day

>I miss Jai Courtney. Haven't seen him in a movie for a while. Bro wasn't phoning it in, unlike some of this cast

>New director for this one! Robert Schwentke, also responsible for RED, R.I.P.D., the yet to be seen Allegiant, and Snake Eyes: GI Joe Origins (a movie that--get ready for this--I've seen)

>RUNNING👏THROUGH👏FORESTS👏

>lil pissbaby Ansel doesn't get a cool Dauntless jacket lol get fukked bud

>Katniss also started her sequel with the lingering consequences of taking a life, Beatrice. One of you is gonna have to change

>ain't no goddamn way they filmed Divergent 2 with the IMAX cameras

>too many movies feed teenagers the lie of chopping your own hair and having it come out salon-layered and photogenic.

>am I supposed to call him Four or Tobias, because the former is funnier

>"How long do we have to stay here" Bea are you for real

>aw dammit Winslet's in the flesh

>secret box, secret box, secret box, secret box

>gonna start making guesses at what's in the box now and pray they reveal it before the end of this movie a. letter from the founders saying factions are a load of bullshit b. key to door that will be opened in Divergent 3 c. contract buyouts for the whole cast when this series fails to conclude

>"I really don't know how much longer I can do this whole peace and love thing." Truer words wrt Beatrice have never been spoken. She pops more heads in one movie than most YA girls do in a trilogy of books

>Miles Teller is silly now.

>"wait, we're fugitives?" Ansel, what the fuck did you think was happening here?

>"we need to find out what happened to the other Dauntless" presumably stayed in the city, Four, you beautiful cinder block of a man. They certainly didn't run off with you--I would know, I just watched the first movie like two hours ago

>"we need to kill Jeannine" TALK YOUR SHIT BEA

>lmaoo Miles Teller is such a dick, Beatrice is a psycho, this movie's gonna rule ass

>love how Amity has roads but the villain trucks just run over the fences anyway

>the dominant trait of Amity is politeness, which I feel runs counter to what's historically known about the agricultural complex

>hahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha (people who have seen Insurgent know what I'm talking about)

>save money on set design with a little bit of the ol' RUNNING👏THROUGH👏FORESTS👏

>do you think Ansel was directed to run like a geek or is that just how he is

>man I hope Veronica Roth eventually got to jump on a moving train irl. Seems like a big fantasy of hers, next to sharing needles (incidentally, injection count's still at zero)

>who could ever dislike Beatrice. She breaks arms. She kicks women out of trains to be crushed under the wheels. She bites hands and doesn't afraid of anything

>Four's mom lives in a haunted house lol

>shut up Ansel (I've said this out loud four times, we're thirty minutes in)

>Divergents fit into every faction, like a faction avatar of sorts, and by that token the factionless don't fit into any faction, ergo they are the worst people. With you so far, movie

>hey what's the absolute weirdest thing a mother can say to her son's girlfriend. Because that's what Four's mom just said

>hey what's the second weirdest thing a mother can say to her son's girlfriend. Because that's what Four's mom just said

>we have just received mention of administering a truth system, bringing our injection counter dubiously up to one

>so every faction can hold their own trials? Is that what Four's talking about? Is the Dauntless trial just Thunderdome?

>injection counter now decisively up to 1

>the Divergent series doesn't have a love triangle and thus doesn't have any teams other than Team Four but I'm gonna be Team Miles Teller just to be a pissant

>injection counter: 2

>Candor man asks "did you harm anyone" to which Beatrice, under the effects of truth serum, says "my mom," which literally is not true. Then again, maybe the truth isn't a divine thing, rather whatever the serumee believes to be true. Beatrice could be telling the truth as she believes--ie. putting her mom in the position to be shot is as good as killing her herself. So could a totally delusional person invalidate the serum by just believing incorrect things? Discuss with your table.

>Maybe Beatrice should've objected to Four's "neither of us have secrets worth hiding" thing

>"people get hurt when they get close to me" objection, your honor?? Conjecture???? why is truth serum making her say this????????? Again, I think truth serum has a big flaw someone should reformulate

>what's in the box? d. a ceremonial dagger whose holder gets to be King of Earth e. map to the rest of civilization f. the Allegiant book ie. the scene in Spaceballs where they fastforward the movie

>Divergents are special, but some Divergents are more special-er than others. What the fuck does that mean

>Four has a way of flying in from offscreen for stealth attacks. Refuse to believe he's capable of this. Giant, pretty tree, him. Ain't creepin up on nobody

>Jai Courtney we hardly knew Yai Courtney🙏

>what a fool I was to attempt an injection counter when I should've been doing a popped collar counter

>Beatrice wearing a tactical vest and nothing else; I like her style

>"I'm gonna kill Miles Teller!" "okay" lmao

>nine injections in one scene, talk about a buzzer beater

>back to the simulation fakeouts. Still momentarily fun

>still don't think admitting to insecurities should count as Candor. If anything that should be Dauntless

>Beatrice realizing Four's not actually there by him referencing a line from a scene he wasn't in? Cool idea. Don't think Beatrice had to reiterate that, but it's cool

>women in movies love taking showers while holding some random step of the Macarena

>shut up Ansel

>injection count: 12 (I'm counting all the simulation probes separately) (btw: injection count 21)

>good on them for keeping the "breaking glass barriers" motif for all the big "she's a Divergent" moments. Someone on the storyboard team wants senpai to notice. And I did

>so... am I to understand that Kwinslet unknowngly shut herself out of the box by putting Beatrice in a position where she can't act on her Amity-worthy kindness? I'm not ruling out this scene possibly being a longform fakeout. These movies have set a precedent

>Miles Teller Best Character

>injection count: 30. Allegiant's gonna need a miracle to beat this record

>I did predict Beatrice eventually scrapping with a shadow clone by means of self-discovery. Did not predict the video game graphics.

>Beatrice The Cooler Beatrice

>Beatrice should try the ducking in the corner trick, bug out Evil Beatrice's AI

>taking one more guess at what's in the box, for ol' times sake g. incomplete coordinates. Allegiant is about getting the rest of the coordinates, we never find out because they never finished these movies

>okay I was... almost correct? first answer was almost correct. It's a message from outside the city. If I have this right, the whole Faction Society was just a prank bro a social experiment with the goal of creating Divergents, and their greater purpose will be revealed in the next movie, or maybe not because they didn't finish them

>approximately how much time passed between movies? Kwinslet still has a bandage from Beatrice stabbing her hand. Has it been a week? I'm gonna imagine both movies are set over a week.

>Four's mom taking a little too much credit for this

>if Beatrice and Kwinslet don't get their ultimate deathmatch by the end of these I'm eternal sunshining this series from my head

>Faction Society only needed one "you guys can leave" message and everyone packs their bags, lmao. Solid as a rock

>BOO FOUR'S MOM, DENY ME MY THUNDERDONE

I'm clapping folks, I'm sitting at my desk and clapping. That was way better than the first movie, wtf is imdb talking about. We got Punished Venom Beatrice, Miles Teller talkin his shit, the number one cause of death is shooting in the head, YA Sequel Haircuts, Royal Blood at the end which isn't a great band but they bring some much needed oomph to this soundtrack. You'll take Veronica Roth's needles and jumping on trains from her cold dead hands. What is it with 2010s YA trilogies and the second movie being the best one, and why am I the only one who holds this obviously correct opinion? Glad I bought a ticket to this movie in 2015 and didn't watch it for eight years. Bring on movie three, I crave that total deflation.

[luckynumbersevenseven]

nolan said what do u call a graff bro w no gf? …homeless…

We hooked up recently and it felt. Weird and distant and like i was ? High? Or dissociated? Not present. Maybe it was just hitting his damn vape. Shit has so much nic. I dont think i can do the whole casual sex thing especially not while i rebuild (or build? Did it ever exist?) a healthy relationship to physical intimacy.

Every time i try masturbate i start to think of cam and my stomach drops. Its like meditating or focusing on your breath and the same thoughts about your breathing start to make u feel faint or like ur not really breathing. I cut him off. He responded to my letter at 3 am clearly fucked up. Probably should block him. Cant leave the door ajar because the desire to open it again never rests. Not fully.

Substance abuse as accountability/excuse/apology.

Jack sent me his “detox” playlist today from rehab. As if that will just…close all the gaps?

What is it with these boys and wanting to show up just to share music and disappear back into the night? Or their drug habit.

The boys w out moms….always the boys w out moms or very fraught relationships w them.

Holly the hairdresser ive had since i was like 11 told me today that she was a slut before she met her husband. Her words not mine. And she says he doesnt rly know. That when things from her past come up she’s like….erp and tells him to cover his ears and im like…?! Cant imagine sharing my life w someone or having kids w someone who doesnt know like. Everything about me. She and i talked about how our first boyfriends/crushes in middle school haunt our dreams consistently. She said hers stopped when she looked him up on facebook and saw that hes a truck driver/trump supporter these days. She will be 50 this year. I dont think ill ever stop having dreams of nico. Even though hes puffy faced from alcohol now, and getting swallowed up by both his ego/clout/fame and his demons.

Things i thought about today that i want to write about. San quentin and its location. The old people holding political signs that i saw over 580 east and on the road side in Berkeley. Generational shit. Connection…lack there of. Road rage and kindness in the service industry/ interacting w strangers. Rural life.

[itgirlgyurecs]

okay lemme just start by this simple comment, this was FUCKING INSANE MY GOD! I had my hand on my mouth in awe like the entire chapter.

I've been keeping up with this since the beginning although I couldn't comment back then ( I intend to read this again hehe) and this story has gripped me so much from the beginning, and oh my god to this would be their end, oh how fucming naive I was. Lord this was like the best book I've ever read, like straight up the best. the way it is written, the characterization, and how like flawed they are and still I cannot find fault in them just because how human their mistakes were, istg my heart aches for everyone in this story, like the emotions I've felt through this entire time I can't explain in mere words I'm punching air rn.

like bro i get beomgyu and I feel so fucking bad for him too, like I was thinking about it and like we have so many ppl feeling bad for oc or taehyun, which is rightfully deserved THEY WENT THROUGH SHIT, but like yo beomgyu I just feel so bad for him, bc i too have this shit in the back of my head that I cannot just push away which is, they were meant to be! they were meant to have that life they dreamt of together like if only the king wasn't such a cunt, and like even beomgyu, he wanted to give up his title, I'm not shaming oc she did what she had to do, but beomgyu just wanted her; he loved her, and she loved him too so why couldn't they just be together

now before I get onto this chapter and scary things, THE SMUT THE SMUT YO LIKE BEFORE THEM LIKE DOING THE KILLING STUFF TO EACH OTHER, YO I love beomgyu ( and I will keep on saying this number of times during this, don't play any drinking game with it, I'm not tryna catch the case for someone's liver cirrhosis for it) yO BEOMGYU WAKING HIS PREGNANT WIFE UP WITH SOME GOOD OL PUSSY LICKINg and getting off that?!? yo where do I sign up for that service now?

and him being so eager to be like spit on his tongue?! hm YES AND HUMPJNG?!? YES!! BEING CALLED OCS DOG AND WANTING TO A WEAD fucking Leash?! double yes!! I'm sorry but no one is winning against BEOMGYU HES THE IT GUY I LOVE HIM man was good, also thr nipple licking scene yo like the evolution!(?) of oc like beomgyu gotta thank taehyun for getting our girlie to become a bit more provocative bc i don't see beomgyu complaining about that shit ay ( I mean she always was but yk)

now like coming back the serious business, like I love how in the whole like latter half of the back we see our. oc having like illusions of the reality sneaking into because the crack left by the guilt that even beomgyus love cannot cover up, but in this chapter we see it breaking piece by piece, wonder if now the baby is there too, like in a way a symbol of her betrayal to taehyun, along with all the people talking behind her, but chae confronting her really got the nail in the coffin. the entire progression to the nightmare was so so so so chef kiss, I LOVE WHEN BOTH OF THESE MEN WENT I CAN GIVE YOU A BABY! (dums dums I love it) also I know I shouldn't be praising the angry nightmare sex but that shit was sooooo good I love when taehyuns gets nasty and angry it so sexy but the bit where he had that gash on his neck and the blood was like draining off his body am do to oc that scene was written like so well it gave me goosebumps.

YO AND THE KAI AND OC CONVERSATION+!? HOLD ON LIKE

//There is no way. He’s been doomed since the second he laid eyes on you. You should’ve left him alone. If you had just done that, he would’ve been safe."//

the way you word these I just feel like. the dagger has been pushed through my own heart it makes us in the shoes of the oc, the one who is being accused it actually feels bitter and scary like what if the person accusing me hates me forever albeit knowing they have nothing but venom in their heart stored in for me, YOUR WRITING IS BEWITCHING!!!!

albeit I would like scoff at kai for the comments he's passed at oc for like telling her to leave taehyun , or tell her to die by his side and do some good for once I'm her fuckin life when he's thr one who pushed oc out of his brothers life and then getting mad at her for like getting pregnant? what did he expect oc to do? just be a fucking show piece for beomgyu?

but then again he's in the cell of the kingdom. that has waged a war against his and his brother is supposed to be here for execution, can't blame him too much!

NOW COMING TO MY FAVOURITE FVOUR FAVOURITE FAVOURITE FAVOURITE FAVOURITEEEEEEEEEEEE PART OF THIS FUCKING FIC ( oooooooooooo if I dare to say hahah) OC KILLING BEOMGYU and BEOMGYU YELLING THR GUARDS TO BACK THR FUCK. OFF YO if my man ain't this crazy I dont him this is why I fucking love beomgyuuuuuu yo he's my my my main lead he's my guy he's my ride or die BECAUSE YES YES YES YES FUCMING YES WHEN HE KILLED OC like idk if he wanted to kill her or the baby ( I hope its her) because like yo he wanted to be with her and yk what I feel like beomgyu migjr even feels happy that he died in the hands of our oc he's twisted and in love like that and I RESPECT IT and when he pushed his sword and oc was like he won't hurt me, BABY he didn't mean that heeant you LEAVE WITH HIM! I love this, beomgyu to the type who'd get a boner when you tell him you're mine and so I have the right to kill you, he would vibe with me sm ( jk jk jk I'm a 20s bollywood girlie)

also the fact we can see that beomgyu was like let's meet in next life while oc hoped for them to be together but as stars, just away from thsi mess like somes up this love story pretty well at least for me. beomgyu isn't guilty of any of this, if it's for him, for this love he will cause blood shed and pure chaos again to attain this love but even if oc loves him just as so, this situation, this mess doesn't come easy to her. she will never be able to be in peace with it. I cant like. judge the difference between their nor can I explain it in words but I think i get ( imagine if it's completely different lmao)

now to conclude, I actually love that we had taehyun in the end to talk, like i didn't know what to expect from that convo but I'm glad it happened and I wonder how it wouldn't effect taehyun too like how would be like, will he actually fall in love again? lile truly?

but my god I can't believe this story had ended like I-I'm actually emotional the reason why I didn't read it the day it released bc I wanted to like calm myself to read it fully and just grasp each bits to cherish each bit and I'm gonna miss it so so so much I don't think any story will like have the place of yamqn in my head or. my heard like it has its own special folder, its my heirloom now, thank you so much for writing this and sharing this with us, FOR FREE! yoire the best, I'll be waiting for the sequel like I'mma camp on your profile and like I'll be here for any work you do anyway!

again thank you so much for this, you're the best author in tumblr for me!!!!! you go author!!! thank you so much! yamqn forever!! on beomgyu we trust to ruin shit even in next life, and yk what I'll be in the front seat rooting anyway!

You Are My Queen Now | Final Part

Word Count: 15.4k

Genre: Smut, angst, fluff

Summary: Growing up as a child of a minor lord, you had it instilled in you since a young age that you needed to find yourself a rich and affluent husband that would not only provide a comfortable life for you, but would also help further your family’s position in the court. So it was of the utmost importance that you remain a virgin in order to land such a coveted husband.

The problem lies when the man you secretly love, Prince Beomgyu, suddenly and unabashedly propositions you.

Warnings: somnophilia, dry humping, thigh riding, cunnilingus, mentions of domestic abuse, physical fight, handjob, boobjob, gyu being pussy whipped, slutshaming, gore, major character death, and some other warnings i can't give without spoiling the ending but just know it's a very dark fic

“Beomgyu, what are you doing? Get down from there!” You shout, noticing Beomgyu scaling one of the nearby walls of the garden. 

“I’ll be right down” He yells back to you over his shoulder. 

“You’re not a boy anymore. You could fall down and hurt yourself.”

“I won’t.” He protests stubbornly, his words faltering as he almost loses his footing on the wall, making you gasp, your heart plummeting down the same way you imagined he would have. 

“Beomgyu, don’t stress me out like this. It’s bad for the baby.” You wail, your pregnant state lending a nice vulnerable effect to your pleading words. It works very well because in the next moment Beomgyu gives in and starts climbing back down the wall. He walks towards you with shoulders slumped and a dejected frown on his face 

“What has gotten into you?” You ask him and he shrugs. “I wanted to get you a sunflower.” 

You furrow your eyebrows at the silly reason behind his dangerous action, an unwanted memory of pearl necklaces and bloody bandages springing forth into your mind. You shake your head to dispel the intrusive thoughts. “You could’ve had one of the gardeners get one.” 

“But that’s not the same.” He whines, plopping down to the floor next to you. “I wanted to get you one, you know, like old times. But all I got are these stupid flowers.” He throws said flowers at your feet, sulking. 

You roll your eyes at his little tantrum. “Beomgyu, you shower me in gifts every day.” 

“I know but it doesn’t mean much anymore. I want to give you something meaningful to cheer you up.” He sighs, getting closer to you and cupping your face between his hands. You refrain from pulling back at his words that remind you why you’re in such a sour mood. “I hate seeing you so sad.” 

Lately, there have been a lot of unflattering rumors swirling around about you following your wedding and especially after your pregnancy has been announced. People have been calling you all kinds of nasty things–a homewrecker, a cheater, disloyal, unworthy… and of course, a whore. 

Among Taehyun’s supporters, you’re seen as an adulterer who betrayed her husband and spread her legs for the king in order to win the crown. They theorize that you’ve been prostituted since a young age by your own father (a claim you have no doubt has been pushed primarily by Heejin’s family) and planted at the palace to seduce to the younger prince before jumping to Taehyun when the king refused to let Beomgyu marry you, then jumping back to Beomgyu when his father was out of the picture. 

Even among those who support Beomgyu, you’re seen as a low-born noble who clawed her way up the ranks by seducing the king and having him get rid of his rightful wife. They believe you not fit to be his queen, that you’re below him because you’re not only not royal but that you don’t even bring him or the kingdom any political or monetary advantages. On the contrary, you only bring them war and death. 

Neither side is kind to you. They both see you as the whore who bewitched the two men. How else could a woman of your standing get these two powerful men to fight over you to the death like this? 

“I only wanted to do good.” You look down in pain. You didn’t expect Taehyun’s men and his people to hold any fondness for you but for even Beomgyu’s vassals and the common people to view you so disfavorably? It crushed you. "I tried to help them. Why are they doing this?"

“Do you want me to stop the project? Round up those who talk ill of you and punish them?” Beomgyu asks firmly, that fiery anger he gets when someone hurts you blazing in his eyes.

You shake your head. "No. Let them. They're not worth my time." It’s no use, punishing them won’t make it any better. They’ll just hate you more. Only Beomgyu loves you. You will be safe as long as you stay by his side. Only he can ever love you. 

He sighs defeatedly. “I wish there was something I could do to make you feel better.” 

“Come, lie down on my lap.” You gesture to him and he obeys, laying his head on your thighs and facing your growing belly. He kisses it, grinning in that endearing way that makes his eyes crinkle and your heart leap in your chest. “I can’t wait to meet you, baby.” 

You smile at his airy giggles and pick up one of the flowers he collected, snapping off most of the stem so you can nestle the rest between the strands of his hair. You then grab another flower and do the same until his hair is filled up with the colorful petals in a delicate crown upon his head. 

“Stunning.” You awe, prodding his head up just a little bit to see your handiwork. 

“Am I?” He arches one eyebrow, teasing. 

“Very. But you could look even more stunning.” You ponder, taking off your necklaces and wrapping them around his neck one by one. “Now I know why you love dressing me up so much.” You half-tease, half-swoon at how breathtaking he looks with the mess of different flowers in his hair and your necklaces draped around his neck. He looks just like what you imagined those woodland nymphs you read about in your books would look like. “Remember when I used to put makeup on you when we were kids?” 

He laughs heartily at the memory. “Of course, you always had fun at the beginning but then you’d get all pouty and annoyed and huff about me looking prettier than you.” 

“Well, you were.” You cross your arms over your chest, huffing. 

Beomgyu suddenly sits up and pulls you onto his lap, burying a hand into the hair at the nape of your neck and pressing your face inches from his. “And now? Still think I’m pretty?” 

You bite your lip, suddenly feeling hot. “Well, yeah… But also sexy.”

He smiles, pleased, and pulls you into a sweet kiss. 

But when he pulls back, face still so close to yours, you can easily see the bags under his eyes that droop heavily from fatigue. As far as you know, he’s winning the war, but that triumph necessitated an insurmountable amount of work and time spent in meetings and war councils that went on from the brink of dawn till late at night. He still made sure to put aside time to spend with you and the baby growing in your belly, but even that must be taxing on his already depleted energy. 

You know you shouldn’t feel bad for him–he’s doing this to get rid of his one and only competition–but your heart can’t see your Beomgyu suffer and not ache along with him. You know if you tell him to go take a nap, he would refuse, insisting that spending time with you was more important than even his own health, so you go with the next best thing. 

You lay him back on your lap, running your fingers through his silky hair while you murmur a slow love song to him, trying to lull him into a peaceful sleep right there in your arms. 

“No, I don’t want to sleep.” He whines, catching onto what you’re doing. After all, you’ve been doing it for a few days now. 

“Please, baby, for me?” You whisper softly, trying not to scare away the sleep from his pretty eyes. “I need a little nap.”

“Oh, well if you need it.” He yawns, giving in. wrapping his arms around your waist and nuzzling his face into your belly. 

You smile at your tired lover fondly, leaning back against the tree behind you and closing your eyes before beginning to sing again, the both of you drifting into a peaceful, warm slumber under the soothing rays of the dazzling sun. 

______________________________

You wake up with a liquid heat gathered in the pit of your stomach. Anyone else experiencing this strange sensation might've thought it unusual, but not you. You’re quite used to it by now. 

You register Beomgyu’s wet tongue lapping at your pussy before you even open your eyes to confirm it. Beomgyu has been at this for weeks, starting the day with his face buried between your legs. He has been even more insatiable ever since he got you pregnant. He can’t even look at the little bump of your belly without getting heated up. 

As for you, you've heard that pregnancy can decrease your libido and make you withdraw from sex but in your experience, it's been quite the opposite and Beomgyu was more than happy to satisfy your heightening needs. Even when you aren’t in the mood to have actual sex, Beomgyu would content himself with eating you out and jerking himself off like he's doing right now.

Basically he would wake you up with his face buried in your pussy and if you were in the mood, you would grab his hair and pull him up to get fucked and if you weren’t in the mood you'd just let him give you a nice little orgasm while he got himself off too–a little something to get the both of you through the day. 

You feel Beomgyu’s hands leave your thighs and move up your body to push your delicate nightdress down to expose your breasts, moaning out as they come into his view. "They're getting bigger, huh?"

You blush under his lewd gaze. "Yeah."

"Push them together." He groans, jerking urgently at his cock. 

Beomgyu has always liked your breasts, and now that they’ve been getting bigger, he’s become positively obsessed with them. Whenever you two are alone, things would always devolve into him latching onto them, kissing and sucking on the sensitive flesh until it’s all red and glistening with his saliva. Even when he is too busy to properly pay them attention to them because he has to do paperwork or the like, he would sit you on his lap and write with one hand while holding one of your breasts with the other, intermittently squeezing it like his own personal stress reliever as he reads over and signs the documents. 

You obey his request, pushing your breasts together and flicking your fingers over your nipples, whining at him for neglecting your pussy for those few seconds. "Puppy." 

Maybe you're more horny than you thought. 

"Want me to take you, baby?" He bites his lip, noting the way your pussy gushes between your splayed legs.

You do, but you want to mess with him even more so you shake your head. "No. Want my king to hump the bed like the horny dog he is." 

Beomgyu doesn’t shy away for a second, biting his lip at your filthy request. "I got you, my queen."

He leans down to catch your pussy with his mouth once again while simultaneously pushing a couple of fingers inside you. But it wasn’t his mouth or his fingers that truly drove you insane, it was the way he ground his hips against the mattress in pace with his pumps as if he was imagining it was his dick fucking you instead. 

You love seeing him so needy for you, yet so obedient. He’ll take anything you give him even if that was just your attention as he got the both of you off. 

And it doesn’t take him long to do that. He cums first, his moans half-muffled by your pussy before he pulls his head up to let you look at his face that is twisted in pleasure, just like he knows you like. His fingers keep pumping rapidly into you as his own hips stutter and he stares at you, slack-jawed and pleading. 

“Cum for me, my queen.” 

“Beomgyu, fuck!” You scream, grabbing him by the hair and pushing his head back down, grinding yourself against his pretty face as you orgasm. 

Fuck, how have neither of you had your fill of each other yet? How are you just as needy now as the first night even as you lay boneless in your post-orgasmic bliss?  

Beomgyu climbs up your body to press a soft kiss against your lips, giggling when you kiss him back dazedly. “I really tired you out, huh?” 

“Just a little bit.” You answer lazily, leaning into his touch as he carasses your body. "You don’t have to leave the bed, you know? I can have the maids come and take care of everything, get you your food, your painting supplies… my mother says pregnant women need plenty of rest." 

You roll your eyes. He’s been trying to stop you from making even the slightest bit of effort ever since the pregnancy was discovered. "I'm not that heavily pregnant yet. I can still move." 

"I know. I just want you to be safe and comfortable. Both of you." He rubs your belly lovingly. 

"We are, puppy." You really are. Beomgyu is going above and beyond to make you happy. He has put himself completely at your beck and call–along with everyone he rules and everything he owns. You want for nothing in your blissful little bubble that he has made for you. 

Only, you wish that bubbles weren’t so fragile. No matter how much he and you try, you can never completely keep the bad thoughts and horrible dread at bay. He doesn’t tell you but you know he is closing in on Taehyun now. You hear it all around the palace, and you worry that you will receive news of his demise any day now. 

That is why you sorely need any distraction you can get. You can’t stay in bed with your calamitous thoughts all day. 

You shake your head at Beomgyu and smile. “Don’t worry about me. I just want to spend some time with my friends.”

____________________________

Friends–a word that has been foreign to you all your life, but somehow you’ve managed to gain a few friends this time around–made yourself a little group from among the ladies in waiting and others who frequented Beomgyu’s court. 

You can’t say that you’re close to most of them, nor do you really talk about your private affairs but it's still nice to be around people who are there by their own volition rather than having been forced to accommodate you because the royals ordered them to.

Yes, you’re not close to them but that doesn’t mean you know nothing of their situations. Secrets aren’t a thing in the socially intricate and gossipy landscape of a royal palace, and everyone’s business gets passed around like a particularly sublime wine for all to enjoy. And now that you have your own circle of friends, you too get to be privy to those poorly-kept secrets. You learn that you weren’t misery’s sole companion, that everyone else is touched by it too. 

Even the high-bred ladies suffer from their own misfortunes; Lady Minjun can't give her husband a child and he resents her for it, making his distaste clear by sleeping around and fathering numerous bastards from other women. Lady Namjoo’s husband prefers the company of men. Lady Hayoon’s in-laws aren’t fond of her and they make it their personal mission to sabotage her marriage to her husband who won’t even stand up for her in front of his family. And Lady Chaeyoung's husband hurts her behind closed doors. 

Chaeyoung was the first of your so-called friends. After she had cheekily congratulated you for putting Heejin in her place, you two started speaking more and more and eventually became close–well, as close as the situation permits. She had a quiet demeanor which made her blend into the background when she was around other ladies, which is why you didn’t take much note of her before, but when you were alone, she demonstrated an impressive sharpness of wit and a penchant for bluntness that you’ve quickly grown to appreciate. 

Out of all the ladies you’ve befriended, she was the one you’re most likely to actually consider a friend. Which is why you were all the more heartbroken when you noticed the suspicious marks on her skin.

She had at first dismissed your concerns, chalking the bruises up to her being clumsy and unintentionally hurting herself. But you’ve never known her to be particularly graceless and the shape of fingerprints on her skin was unmistakable. Eventually, after much insistence and prodding on your part, she told you the truth, confiding in you that when her husband loses his temper, he often times takes it out on her. 

You were horrified to hear that. Her husband is a big brute and she’s such a frail little thing–how can he hurt her like this? You wanted to get Beomgyu involved immediately, knowing he’s the only person powerful enough to put a stop to this, but she adamantly refused, insisting that her husband didn’t mean it and that he promised her that he would stop. You didn’t believe him. That’s what they all say, only to turn around and hurt you again and again. Still she had begged you not to tell Beomgyu and you didn’t on the condition that if he does it one more time, you’d have no choice but to tell. 

And here she is again, with the marks of his anger on her body. 

“What is this?” You ask Chaeyoung, grabbing onto her arm where you can see a bluish bruise peeking out of her sleeve. 

She yanks her arm back and tries to cover it. "It's nothing, my queen."

“It’s not nothing.” You scoff, keeping your voice low so that the other ladies won’t hear. "Is your husband hurting you again?" 

"It’s my fault. I drove him to it. If I had just listened, he wouldn’t have needed to act that way." She hurries to defend him, and something about her response makes you both livid and profoundly sad. 

“No! It’s not your fault. Don’t you dare say that again.” You hiss lowly, set off by her words. “He is the one to blame. He is the one who hurt you, and he has to answer for what he did.”

“No!” She panics, shaking her head vehemently. “Please, don’t! Just let it go, my queen. I’m fine.”

“He can’t keep getting away with this. I won’t let him. If you don’t want Beomgyu to know then I’ll confront him myself.” You get to your feet, your mind made up. You don’t listen to her cries and pleads. You can’t really hear them, too focused on the ringing between your ears and the unbidden tears springing to your eyes. 

You march towards where you know he would be and demand to talk to him alone, all the while Chaeyoung keeps trying to get you to back down. You pull him out of whatever meeting he’s in, demanding to speak to him alone. He has to oblige you. You’re his queen after all, and so he follows you to an empty room where the three of you can be alone–well you three and the guards who stick to you closer than your own shadow. 

“What is the matter, my queen?” Lord Myeong, her husband, asks with faux-politeness, looking between the two of you. He never was quite able to sell the fake respect the other lords and ladies have had to treat you with ever since you got married to Beomgyu, his disdain of you managing to shine through every time. 

“The matter is that you dare to lay your savage hands on her. What kind of man lays a hand on his own wife?” You shout at him, your voice shrill with disgust.

Realization dawns on his face and he glares at Chaeyoung. “What happens between a man and his wife is only for them to know.” He tells you, a sharp edge to his voice, but he still tries to maintain his affected cordiality. 

You, on the other hand, don’t bother with those stupid pretenses. “Not when your ugly handprints are all over her skin for everyone to see. What is the matter with you?” 

“I was merely punishing her for acting out. I have the right to discipline my wife.” 

“She is not a child or a misbehaving dog. She is your wife. How could you do this to the woman you vowed in front of the gods to love and protect?” 

The man rolls his eyes and looks at you like you’re wasting his time with your silly womanly wiles, and it makes you almost burst from the anger building up inside you. “I am your queen and I demand that you never lay a single finger on her again.” You command forcefully but the man dismisses you as if you were nothing, always nothing. 

“Should I now?” He asks cockily, eyeing you up and down. “Maybe if the king disciplined you once in a while, you’d learn your place.”

His words make you see red, and before you can control yourself you launch yourself at him, punching him right across his unpleasant face, hearing a crack as your fist connects with his nose. 

"You fucking bitch!" He howls, touching his nose in shock, his teeth grinding together when his fingers come away bloody. “I’ll fucking get you for that–”

You tense up, preparing to fight as the huge man advances on you. What did you do? You can’t take him. He is too big and strong to fight off. Unless…

Your hand reaches for the dagger tucked away inside the skirt of your dress, prepared to do anything to protect yourself in your moment of madness. Thankfully, before he can reach you, the guards step in to shield you. 

“Back away.” The head knight barks at lord Myeong, his deep voice booming around the room.

Lord Myeong stops in his tracks, vexed but not about to lose his life over this. “Of course, the whore hides behind the king’s men.” He spits out before turning his furious gaze towards Chaeyoung who was shaking in the corner. “Wait till we get home.” 

He tries to grab her but you quickly order the guards to stop him. They do, shoving him away from the small woman. But when you order them to throw him out of the room, they refuse. 

“I’m your queen. You obey when I order you to do something.” You hiss at them but they don’t budge. 

“Fine. We’ll see what the king has to say about your disobedience.” You scoff and attempt to exit the room yourself but they stand in front of the door, blocking your way out. “We’ve already sent word out for the king. No one is going to leave this room before he gets here.” 

“Some queen you are.” Myeong snorts and you go to attack him again in reflex, burning in humiliation, but the guards step in and hold you back this time. 

“Let go of me.” You scream, fear and panic spiking inside you at the traumatic memories that being restrained brings back. You kick one of them in the shin, getting him to let you go before you punch the other one in the stomach, freeing yourself and moving away from them. 

“Don’t you dare touch me again.” You heave out frantically. 

“Crazy bitch.” You hear lord Myeong mutter under his breath, further igniting your rage but you don’t try to attack him again, focusing your energy on trying to get out of the room that suddenly feels all too suffocating.  

“Let me out.” You try again but they refuse, on their guard for any further attacks from you. 

“Let me fucking out!” You scream, growing more and more agitated with every passing second. 

Thankfully, Beomgyu arrives at this moment, bursting through the doors and rushing towards you at the first glimpse of your panicked state. “What is going on? Why are you screaming? Are you okay?” 

“These imbeciles don’t know how to carry orders from their queen.” You hiss in the direction of the guards, still disquieted but feeling better now that Beomgyu is right next to you. “They refused to let me leave. They even fucking restrained me.” 

“Is that true?” Beomgyu turns on the guards and the head knight stutters out, no longer sounding so frightening when faced with the king’s wrath. “S-she was attacking lord Myeong, my king. We j-just thought you’d prefer to sort things out before we let her go.” 

“Well, next time don’t think.” Beomgyu barks at them, “She’s your queen and you will obey her orders unless you want to be thrown in the cells.” 

“Y-yes, my king.” He backs off, and bows to you. “I’m sorry, my queen.” 

The rest of the guards echo his words, their apologies soothing your fire a little bit. But then Beomgyu turns to you and snuffs it out all together. “Now, what happened here?” 

"Nothing, my king." Lord Myeong straightens out as he talks to his king–so different from how he addressed you. 

Your scoff at his changing attitude catches Beomgyu’s attention and he turns back to you, seeking an answer, but you don’t say anything, too embarrassed by everything that happened to speak right now. Beomgyu gets the message, reading you easily just like he always does, and escorts you to a separate room so you can explain yourself freely, away from the others. 

“Beomgyu—” You tear up, throwing your arms around his neck, needing him to comfort you after your fuck up. He wraps one arm around your waist while the other goes to brush away the stray tears that leave your eyes. “It’s okay, my love. Tell me what happened and I’ll fix it.” 

He will. He always does. Every time you lash out at someone or do something stupid, he always has your back. 

“He hurts her, Beomgyu. He beats her up. We can all see the ugly blue and green bruises on her skin.” Your lips quiver as you recount to him what happened, telling him how she asked you not to go to him and promised you that the beatings will stop, and how you flew into a rage when they didn’t. 

“Oh, baby, my kind-hearted queen. You just wanted to help your friend, didn’t you?” He coos softly and you nod. “But you should’ve come to me, still. I would’ve helped her. Don’t I always help?” 

“You do.” You admit quietly. 

“Then why didn’t you come to me?” He asks and you feel an uncomfortable, queasy feeling budding at the pit of your stomach at that question. You don’t want to answer that. You don’t want to unfurl the seed and let it grow into the hideous monster it can be. 

So you go with half of the truth. “I wanted to fix it on my own. No one takes me seriously, Beomgyu.” 

He sighs. “And you think threatening to punch people–or in this case actually breaking their nose–is the way to get them to take you seriously?” He reprimands you and you try to draw back, feeling embarrassed, but he doesn’t let you go, using the arm he has around your wasit to hold onto you and pull you tighter against him. “My love, you need to let go of the savage ways he’s taught you.”

You press your lips into a thin line at that, your hackles raised. Taehyun isn’t savage. He taught you to defend yourself for the first time in your life, something that Beomgyu never did. He only shielded you from the abuse when he noticed it or when you told him. He never taught you how to protect yourself.  

Beomgyu doesn’t like your silence. He never does. But thankfully, for now, he lets it go, sighing. "Stay here." 

But you grab onto his arm before he can go, fretting. "Is Chaeyoung going to be okay?"

"I'll take care of it." He promises you, pressing a soft, reassuring kiss against your forehead before he leaves you to deal with the mess you created. 

As you’re left alone to simmer in the aftermath of your most recent fuck up, you realize just how much you’ve strayed from Taehyun’s teachings. You almost were something, almost were your own person, but now you’re even worse than before. Weren’t you the woman who once stood up to the fearsome lord Taehyun and got him to listen to you? Now you’re hiding away as you let Beomgyu take care of problems you created while trying to reclaim that phantom power. You're back to being the stupid helpless little girl who needs Beomgyu to do everything for her. This is just what he wanted, isn’t it? Well, he succeeded. 

You’re yanked out of your ruminations when you hear the door open. You look up to ask Beomgyu how it went, only to find Chaeyoung standing there. 

“Oh, Chae–” You rush towards her but she puts her hand up to stop you and you halt. “What–”

“Why did you do that? I told you to let it go!” She fumes and you draw back in shock. “I was just trying to help–”

“No, you were trying to make yourself feel better about your own issues with the king.” 

You freeze at her words. “What are you talking about?” 

She scoffs. “It’s obvious. I don’t know what exactly is going on with you and the king, but god knows everyone has heard the rumors, and whatever unresolved shit you have going on is making you feel helpless and angry and instead of confronting him about it, you lashed out at my own husband to make yourself feel better about your own complacency.”

You shake your head forcefully. “That’s not true. It’s not.” The hot tears sting at your eyes once again, but Chaeyoung doesn’t care for it. No one does except Beomgyu. 

“Yes, it is and don’t you deny it. Because if you actually cared about what’s good for me you wouldn’t have put me in danger by confronting Myeong.”

“P-put you in danger?” What is she talking about?

“Yes. Do you think what you did will make him hurt me any less? It will only make him more angry!” 

“You’re staying with him?” You ask incredulously and her answering laugh is haughty and bitter. "You're staying with Beomgyu?" 

You clamp up.  "What other option do I have? You think I can just separate from my husband and not be completely ostracized from all my friends and family? I don’t have a king who would kill his own wife and buy my annulment so he can marry me."

"That is cruel, Chae." You croak. How could she say this to you? She might not know the full story of what happened between you and Beomgyu, but just like she said, everyone has heard the rumors, and her being one of the ladies in waiting, she is sure to know more than anyone else about what you’ve been through at his hands. 

She takes in a deep breath to try to calm herself down, and you can see how underneath her anger, there is tremendous fear. “I’m sorry but you need to hear it. I didn't ask you to intervene. Worry about your own problems from now on."

She’s right–the seed unfurls, the monster grows. The only reason you got so enraged and out of control is because what she said reminded you of what Beomgyu has always told you–that you’re the reason for your own suffering, that if you had just been good, that if you didn’t try to escape, that if you let him do what he wants to you, he wouldn’t have hurt you like he did.   When she blamed herself for what happened, it felt like she was blaming you too. 

"I'm sorry. You're right. It was about me. I guess I just saw my situation in yours and couldn't control myself. It was selfish of me. I just feel so helpless and I wanted to do something for once." 

"You are doing something.” She insists, stepping closer to you for the first time since she came into the room. “You’re using him to make things better. It's the best anyone can do in your position. You know the peasants are talking shit about you and yet you’re still helping them and he's letting you. You may not be carrying out those good deeds directly but you're accomplishing more than you ever could have with Lord Taehyun. The king will do anything to please you. You just have to ask." 

You contemplate her words in silence. You suppose she’s right about that too. You may not be doing anything directly. People may look down on you and belittle you. But through Beomgyu, you can accomplish so much and he would be more than happy to let you. Maybe you should just get out of your state of self-pity and acknowledge that you’re more lucky–despite it all–than most of the other ladies here. 

"But you need to be careful because you’re costing him too many allies by your reckless actions. If you keep this up, you'll be damning him." She continues, and that more than anything, gets your attention.

You hadn’t thought about it that way before, too caught up in your own feelings to know any better. Beomgyu never said a word about it to you either. You suppose he’s just so intent on proving to you that he has your back and will not let the others treat you in a way you don’t like anymore, that he’s letting you ruin his court relations. 

"I don't want you to remove my husband from the palace. That would just make things worse for me. So could you please smooth things over with the king?" She asks you, and you give her a small nod. “Thank you.”

You still feel a hint of satisfaction when Beomgyu drags Lord Myeong into the room, the bigger man looking denigrated and subjugated as he apologizes to you and his wife. You merely give him a nod while Chaeyoung graciously announces that she forgives him.

"Get your things ready. You leave at first light." Beomgyu announces when he’s done, and Chaeyouung shoots you a panicked look. 

“Actually, I would like him to stay” You interrupt, shocking both men. You bow your head and continue, "If my king will permit, of course."

“But the way he treated you–” Beomgyu balks, unable to stomach the offense to his wife.

“I provoked him.” You bite down on your tongue as you parrot the incriminatory words. “Neither of us behaved particularly civilly.” 

“But, baby–” Beomgyu moves close to you, whispering quietly. You hold his right hand between your two smaller ones, giving it a reassuring squeeze. “It’s okay, my love. Give him one more chance. For me.” 

He still looks uncomfortable with letting it pass, but you turn to face Lord Myeong, scowling at him in warning. "If he will give you his word not to hurt Chae again." 

Beomgyu turns to him and the man nods tightly. "I give you my word, my king." He proclaims, then bows to you. “My queen.”

It’s hard to keep in your scoff, and you can’t look at the coward much longer. Luckily, you don’t have to as Beomgyu waves his hand, dismissing them both, along with the guards, leaving only you and him in the room.  

“I don’t like this, darling. He almost laid his hands on you.” Beomgyu recounts angrily, taking you in his arms. “He almost hurt you.” 

“I hurt him first. I started it.” You repeat uneasily, and it’s almost funny how Beomgyu finds issue with the sentiment when it doesn’t relate to him. 

“You can do whatever you want. You’re his queen.” Beomgyu argues, “If you want to, I can bring him back here and you can use that dagger of yours to brighten up his face a little bit.” 

His suggestion, entirely too serious, sends a shiver down your spine. 

The king will do anything to please you. But you need to be careful because you’re costing him too many allies.

You shake your head. “No. I need to start acting like a lady again.” You look away, your lower lip wobbling and cheeks flaming, but Beomgyu turns your head to face him once again. “You’ll always be a lady. No one can ever change that.” He presses a kiss against each of your tear-stained cheeks, before continuing, "But I must admit that there are better ways to get people to listen to you than punching them in the face. No matter how endlessly funny I find it when you do that."

You can’t help but smile a little at his joke, allowing yourself to really look at him, and you see nothing but adoration shining back at you. Beomgyu is in love with you. He'd do anything for you. So why are you standing here worrying about anyone else? 

“You’re so pretty.” He whispers, kissing you slowly, his soft lips molding against your own as your breaths mingle and your tongues meet. You can never get tired of kissing Beomgyu, each kiss containing a multitude of emotions that never wane–love, lust, need, ecstasy, relief… He kisses you like it’s the first and last time he ever will. Even this slow kiss is so heavy with feeling, it takes your breath away. 

“Am I?” You ask once you break the kiss, mouthing along his jawline. 

“Yeah. So perfect.” His breath hitches as you move down his neck. “Oh, love, if you keep going like that I’m going to–Oh…” 

You slip your hand under his pants, palming him as you suck on his sensitive neck. “Going to what, puppy?”

“Going to lose control.” He finishes, and you chuckle cockily. “As if you ever had any control when it came to me.” 

You take your hand out of his pants, hushing his protesting whine, and walk him backwards until you reach a chair and push him on it, getting down on your knees between his legs. 

“Darling, no, don’t sit on the floor. Want you comfortable–” 

“Hush, Beomgyu. Be a good pup and let me play with you however I want.” You chastise, shooting down his overly-protective tendencies as you take him out of his pants and jerk him into hardness. 

“Yes, baby.” He groans, throwing his head back against the chair as he hungrily watches you pumping his cock from under his heavy lashes. He’s too damn easy. So what if everyone thinks you’re his whore? You have him wrapped around your finger. He’d do anything you tell him to. He adores you. He’d spend his days and nights worshiping at your feet if you let him. "Love it when you use me." 

"Yeah?" You shiver, soaking up his need and adulation that hit you like the buzz of a strong liquor. You really can’t live without him. You live off his love. He wants to give you everything–himself, a family, even the whole kingdom. No one else matters to him and no one else should matter to you.  

You push yourself up to loom over him and cup his chin with your hand. "Open your mouth."

He does, sticking his tongue out, ready for you to spit in his mouth. His eyes flutter when you do and you feel his cock jerk in your other hand. 

"Filthy." You sneer, but you can’t hide the thrill that goes through you at that, neither do you even try. He deserves to see your own need. "And that bastard dares to say you can discipline me." 

Beomgyu quickly pulls his tongue inside his mouth and grinds his teeth together as his hazy eyes clear up a little bit. "He said that? I'll kill him." 

"No. He doesn't matter." You brush it off, pushing him back down. None of them matter. Only Beomgyu. "As long as you're mine."

"Always."

You push his shirt up his body, bunching it up under his chin as your free hand feels his tummy up to his pert nipples–his soft tummy, so different from the hard planes of Taehyun’s abdomen now that Beomgyu allowed it to go back to its natural state. You don’t know how he got it into his head that you wanted him to resemble Taehyun when all you’ve ever wanted was everything he was.  

Beomgyu’s back arches when you flick one of his nipples lightly, his cock getting pushed further into your fist as he mewls. 

“So sensitive.” You purr, nudging his poor nipple again and again. “So desperate. You fuck me every day and night and yet you’re still so needy. Is it never enough for you?”

“Never.” He vows breathlessly. “How can I ever get my fill when you’re the most wonderful creature the gods have ever created?”

The words come to him so easily, pouring forth like a sweet balm to soothe any semblance of worry in you before it has the chance to flare up. This is what you needed. This is what love is. Yes, it hurts sometimes, but god when it’s good, nothing and no one else compares. 

"More…” Beomgyu pleads, hips nudging upwards ever so lightly. “Just a little bit more. Please." 

“Of course, whatever my baby wants.” You coo sweetly, too sweetly, increasing your pace on his cock a little bit. Just a little bit though, messing with him until he groans out in frustration. “Baby, please!”  

"What? I thought you said just a little bit." You cock your head to the side in mock confusion but the playful giggle you can’t hold back at his pout gives you away.

“You’re always so mean.” 

“Oh, puppy.” You finally take pity on him, leaning upwards to press a kiss to his lips as you quicken your pace, much faster this time, and his mouth falls open as moans stream out of it.  

"You have such a pretty cock, puppy, so big and thick. It feels so good when you fuck me." You tease him, knowing it will just drive him more insane. And it does just that, the imagery getting to his dumb head. "Yeah? Want to fuck you so bad."

"Of course you do.” You pout sympathetically, “You're ready to fuck if I even just glance your way, aren't you?"

"Yeah. All ready for you, always." He nods, hips thrusting up to fuck your fist.

“Did I say you could do that?” You hiss and he quickly stills,  whimpering at your harsh tone like a scolded dog. 

You pause for a moment to take your lover in, sprawled on the chair with his dick out and his shirt pushed up to his neck, his hands fisted into the cushion below him so he wouldn’t be tempted to touch you. He looks delectable and he’s all yours to enjoy. "You can't control yourself, can you? Maybe I need to be put on a leash or you'll be humping my leg every chance you get."

He moans at the lewd idea and surges forward to kiss you. You allow him to do it, if only so you can rile him up more, before you grab him by the neck and push him back. "You like that, don’t you, puppy? Should I make you a gold collar and put my name on it too? Show your court who rules their king?"

"Yes. You own me. You own everything." He babbles heatedly, "Whatever my queen wants, she gets. I'm just your obedient dog."

"Fuck, yes you are.” You bite down on your lip harshly, your thighs rubbing together in need at his pathetic display. “My vicious, feral dog. Come on, hump my hand." 

"Thank you." He mewls, thrusting his hips up to fuck your hand once more. He is so lost in that measly amount of pleasure, taking anything he can from you, that an even more wicked idea pops into your mind. 

“You really want to cum, huh?” You drawl cryptically, making Beomgyu tilt his head, giving you a confused look even as he continues to fuck your fist. But you don’t make him wonder for long. "Let's see if you can cum on command. I'm going to count down from ten and I want you to cum on one, pup."

"Baby–" He tries to protest but you’re already going through with it. 

"Ten." You start, making his eyes wide, and suddenly his thrusts turn frantic. 

“Good boy.” You purr, twisting your fist around his cock as a little treat for his obedience. “Nine.” 

“You’re going to kill me.” He croaks and you huff out a little laugh. If only you could. Your grip gets a little tighter around him, unintentionally helping him out. “Eight.” 

As you keep counting down, he gets more and more breathless. 

"Please, please." He cries out in desperation. “It’s not enough.” 

“Are you saying I’m not enough?” You purposefully twist his words, delighting in sick pleasure as he gasps and shakes his head. “No, no, you’re more than enough!”

“Then stop complaining and be good. Five.” 

His heartbroken wail goes straight to your pussy and you wonder if you’re the one who is going to cum on one. He just looks so delicious, sprawled there whimpering and crying as he strives to obey your almost impossible command. 

“Four.” 

“Baby… my queen…”

“Three.”

“Fuck–nghhh–”

“Two.” 

“I can’t. I can’t!” He freaks out, his eyes blown wide as he stares between you and his pistoning cock. 

"One." You take your hand away and he wails. You’re disappointed for a second–you really thought he could do this–but then you see his body go rigid before it convulses, cum spurting out of his red cock as he sobs. 

You gasp out in delight and reach out to run your hands over his feverish skin, calming him down. "Good boy." You praise, leaning up to kiss his tear-shocked face. “I’m so proud of you baby. You did it.” 

Beomgyu chases your lips, catching your lips with his own as he whines into your mouth. “So mean.” 

“Why? You got to cum.” You ask him in confusion, "Did that not feel good?"

He shakes his head and sniffles. "No. It was horrible."

"Oh, you poor pup." You take his cock in your hand and stroke it languidly, unsure if he can take it. He seems to like it though and so you ask, "Do you want more?"

"Yes.” He nods empathetically, “Yes please."

"Well, since you were such a good boy." You quicken your pace, his cum making a mess of him as you use it to stroke him. 

"Such a messy pup." You tsk, leaning forward to lick it. You don’t do a good job, a thick trail of saliva and cum linking your tongue and the head of his cock. But you weren’t trying to clean him up. You just wanted to tease him more, knowing how messy he likes it. 

"Ah please! Suck my cock."

You grin, once again getting just what you wanted. “I have a better idea.” You tell him, spitting on his cock and spreading it along his length while your other hand pushes the top of your dress down, exposing your breasts to him. 

“What?” He stutters, watching wide-eyed as you place his cock between your breasts and push them snuggly around it. “Come on, puppy. I know you’ve been dreaming of this.” 

"I love you." He effuses, making you laugh as his hips thrust up wildly under you to push his cock between your breasts. 

This should be humiliating. You’re on the floor, knees sore and tits out as you let him fuck them just so he can add even more to the cum and spit already covering them. But how can you feel anything but powerful when this is the king himself you have being so pathetic for you? When the one thing shining brighter than lust in his eyes is his love for you? 

“Are you okay, puppy?” You ask him, noting how he’s struggling to keep his eyes from rolling back and the way he’s panting like a dog, sweat glistening on his skin from the struggle. "Going dumb from fucking my tits?" 

"So pretty…" He whines, his thrusts growing sloppier and more erratic. "Going to cum… please let me cum."

“Go ahead, baby. You’ve been good.” Your praise, more than anything, pushes him over the edge, and he cums all over your breasts, his seed decorating your chest in beads more beautiful than any pearls. 

“That’s it. Let it all out, darling.” You coax the last bit of his cum out of his cock, rubbing the head of it against your nipples in a way that has you shaking in need. God, you need him inside you. You feel so empty. 

Sensing your need, or perhaps seeing it on your face, Beomgyu grabs your arms and pulls you to your feet, planting you onto his lap as he buries his face in your chest, licking his cum right off your tits and pebbled nipples. 

You can’t take it sitting still so you start rubbing yourself against his thigh, a fire lighting up inside you as he tickles your nipples with his tongue and sucks on them. You’re so wound up that it doesn’t take long for that fire to become an inferno, your legs clamping around his thigh as you cum, pulling his head back harshly by his long hair to give him an open-mouthed kiss. 

"Please… fuck.” He whimpers, moving your ass up so you’re sitting on his cock that is now hard once again. “Baby, please take my cock, use me." 

But you shake your head, sitting up and putting him back in his pants while he whines and protests. You press a firm kiss to his lips, shutting him up. "You have things to do. We can’t stay here all day. Go do your duties like a good king and maybe I'll let you cum inside me tonight." 

“Yes, baby.” He shivers, the fucked out look still apparent on his face as he gets up, and the thought that everyone is going to see him like this and know you’re the one who did this to him has you swelling with pride. 

___________________________________

You don’t know how you didn’t see this coming. You knew both men were out to kill each other. You knew Beomgyu offered to pardon whoever defected from Taehyun’s men and compensate them handsomely for it. You knew more and more people were turning their backs on Taehyun. You knew he was losing, and yet this somehow still comes as a shock to you. 

Kai has been captured, betrayed by Taehyun’s own men and brought to the palace to be used however Beomgyu sees fit. As it so happens, what Beomgyu sees fit is using Kai's life to bargain for Taehyun’s own life. He’s asking Taehyun to give himself up in order to save his little brother. 

Suddenly, everything becomes real.

“Sweetling, calm down.” Wonyoung’s musical voice trills out, halting your anxious pacing. 

“Calm down? How can you be so calm?” You shrill, “Aren’t you scared for him?”

“Of course, I am but I have to stand behind my brother.” Her composure ticks you off. 

“He’s going to kill Kai!” You exclaim. How can Wonyoung act so coolly about this? Doesn't she have feelings for Kai?

She sighs wearily. Despite her being a few years younger than you are, in moments like these, she feels much more mature and aged in comparison to you, like a wizened old spinster who has seen everything there is to see and knows better than you silly little you. “Not if Taehyun gives himself up.”

No. He can't do that. You shake your head in denial. “He can’t. He won’t. If he gives himself up, then the war is lost. He’s the only thing keeping it going right now. His men will put their swords down if he’s captured.” 

“Whether he gives himself up now or keeps fighting, the war is already lost. It’s better to surrender now before he’s betrayed by his own men too.” 

You grimace at her prediction. God no, that can’t happen. It would simply kill him. He has worked so hard for his city, sacrificed his childhood in order to become a strong, competent leader to his people. He suffered so much hate and malicious rumors and yet he never bowed under the pressure. So for him to go out this way, given up by his own men… it would kill his already broken spirit. 

“He’s going to take the fall for everyone. He has no choice but to give himself up so Kai can live and his city can be spared from slaughter.” She tells you, and in your delirious state you imagine you can hear a hint of sorrow in her gentle voice. You shake your head once again, childishly refusing to acknowledge the gruesome truth. She speaks again, even more gently, "Come on, sweetling, did you really think this was going to end any other way?" 

“I don’t know." You croak, Beomgyu's words clanging around inside your skull. 

I'll let you see his severed head when I bring it home to you.

She doesn’t say anything else, knowing there was no use. She just holds you and lets you cry. You already know she’s telling the truth. You just refuse to believe it. You refuse to believe it’s ending this way–just like Beomgyu wanted. Always like Beomgyu wanted. 

_________________________________

Once again it’s Wonyoung who accompanies you to visit Beomgyu’s newest prisoner. She could get in a lot of trouble for this and yet she does it anyway. You don’t know why. She doesn’t even go with you into the room Kai is being held in, weakly admitting that she can’t see him in that state. But she asks you to make sure he’s comfortable. She had requested from Beomgyu that he be held some place befitting of his status, but since she has never gathered the courage to visit him herself, she couldn’t be sure if Beomgyu had kept that promise or not. 

The guards standing outside Kai’s makeshift cell hesitate to let you in, telling you that you need permission from the king first, but Wonyoung wouldn’t have any of that. 

“This is your queen you’re speaking to. If the king finds out that you’ve refused an order from her, you’d be thrown into one of the cells, and it won’t be as nice as this one, I can promise you that.” She threatens the guard, who exchanges a look with the men flanking you. Your head knight gives him a small nod. “Listen to your queen.” 

The man takes in a weary breath and shakily raises his hand to unlock the door, the keys clanging together from the way his hand trembles. When he pushes open the heavy door, Wonyoung turns away, not bearing to even glance at her captured lover. 

“Stay here.” You quickly order your guards before you step inside. They hesitate, but before they can think it through, you shut the door in their face. Sure, they can open it again, but you’re certain Wonyoung will prevent them from doing so. 

Once you’re inside though–your back facing Kai after you’ve shut the door–you hesitate, suddenly realizing that you don’t even know why you’re here. You haven’t prepared anything to say. You’re not sure you even have anything to say. 

“Took you long enough.” Kai's voice hits your back. It’s so different from how you remember it–so tired and weak. You quickly turn around, seeing him for the first time in so long, and your heart hammers at how different he looks. 

Gone are the soft, boyish features–his round cheeks replaced by sharp bones, his eyes sinking in their sockets, his usually smiling lips pressed into a sardonic smirk. He looks exhausted. While Beomgyu has gotten softer and more radiant since you came back, Kai’s life force seems to have been stripped away from his body. 

This is what war does to those caught on the wrong side of it. This is how you know Beomgyu couldn’t have lost. The boy in front of you looks ten years older. He looks like he has seen the worst that a human can see, while Beomgyu has been thriving more and more each day. There was never any hope for Taehyun. 

Oh god, if this is what Kai looks like, then what about Taehyun? 

“Is… h-how is he?” You ask tentatively, and Kai lets out a little laugh. “Why don’t you ask him yourself. You’ll be seeing him soon enough.” 

You wince and wring your hands together anxiously. “How can I help him? There has to be a way to save him.” 

Kai scowls, getting up and walking towards you. Your heart leaps in your chest for a moment, thinking he’s going to attack you before his shackles stop him from reaching you. “There is no way. He’s been doomed since the second he laid eyes on you. You should’ve left him alone. If you had just done that, he would’ve been safe.” 

“I’m sorry.” You weep, “I didn’t know it would end this way. If there was something I could do–”

“Go back to him. Die by his side, do something right in your life.” Kai compels you and you scoff at his change in tune. “Didn’t you tell me to stay away from him?” 

“I thought that would stop your lunatic but it didn’t. It just broke Taehyun’s heart. He doesn’t love easily and I ripped the one person he loved from him.” He confesses sadly, but you shake your head in denial. “Taehyun doesn’t love me. He’s only doing this because he has a compulsive need to do the right thing even if it ends in disaster.” 

“That may be true but it doesn’t mean that he doesn’t love you. I saw it with my own eyes.” 

“Then you saw wrong.” You shake your head again. Taehyun doesn’t love you. You don’t know what Kai thinks he saw but it wasn’t love. Beomgyu looks at you with love. You’ve never seen that look in Taehyun’s eyes. "And even if that was true, Beomgyu would never let me go. I can’t escape him.” 

“You can kill your monster.” He cuts you off, “You can rid the world of his evil.” 

Just the thought of it makes your heart clench painfully. You stare at him, wide-eyed. “I–I can’t do that… I’m carrying his baby.” 

Kai scoffs. “You’re really something else, aren’t you?” 

Humiliation burns deep inside you at his disgusted expression. "You told me to leave!" You scream. What does he want from you? 

"But I didn't tell you to fuck him.” He denounces, and in that moment you can’t even recognize the sweet boy you met a year ago anymore. “I thought you didn't want to be known as his whore."

"I am not his whore.” You insist, distraught. You shouldn’t have come here. You shouldn’t even try to leave Beomgyu’s side anymore. Only he is safe. “I am his wife and I am carrying his rightful heir."

"And was this rightful heir conceived before or after the illegitimate marriage."

You hold in your tears. "Fine. I am rotten, just like him. I admit it. Are you happy now?"

"You should’ve realized it sooner. Your pity party is killing my brother." He spits out in disgust. “You never loved my brother. It was always Beomgyu you wanted. You just used my brother to get what you want. Well, congratulations on the happily ever after you’ll have once Taehyun is dead.” 

________________________________

Your heart almost stops when you step out of the room and come face to face with Beomgyu. He looks enraged, but you don’t even have the energy to fight with him right now. And when you collapse into his arms, sobbing uncontrollably, he too puts whatever he had to say to rest for now, carrying you in his arms and muttering to Wonyoung that he’ll deal with her later as he takes you away. 

It’s funny how you seek comfort in him from the very thing he caused and how you actually feel soothed by him. This is why your protests never get through to him. How can they when he always manages to get you back into his arms? 

You don’t see where he is taking you as you cling onto his body and hide your face in his neck. You only realize that he’s taken you back to your chambers when your back hits the mattress and the comforting and familiar smell of the room fills your nose and allows you to calm down enough to speak.

“I don’t want you to kill Taehyun.” You claw at his back desperately, your eyes searching his own for any sign of mercy. “Please.” 

He looks at you with anger in his eyes, for daring to beg for Taehyun’s life, but you’re surprised to also see pity there, and that pity tells you that there is no point to your begging. “You know I have to do it. I have to set us free. I have to protect our baby.” 

But you still plead your useless case–for if you really wanted to save Taehyun. You know what you must do. “So exile him. Banish him from the kingdom. Just don’t kill him.”   

He shakes his head, much more patient than you ever expected from him. Why was he being so gentle with you when usually any allusion to Taehyun would have him fuming with rage. Is it because he knows he has already won? 

“He will always be a threat to our family for as long as he lives. You know that.” He reminds you, “It’s time to end it. Aren’t you tired of this?” 

You are, so very tired. So tired you can’t reciprocate the kiss Beomgyu initiates, prompting him to pull back to look you in the eyes. And that’s when you realize why he’s being so sweet. He’s afraid he’s going to lose you again. He’s afraid that Taehyun’s death will make you withdraw into yourself again. He’s been keeping you as far away from the war as he possibly could so you wouldn’t fully fathom the gravity of it all, but now that it’s ending, there is no escape from the heavy price. 

When it comes down to it, is it going to be him or Taehyun you’re going to protect? 

“I love you.” He tells you urgently and waits for you to say it back, his eyes swimming with fear and uncertainty, his soul just about to drown in them. His soul, your other half, how could you possibly let it sink? 

“I love you too.” You finally say it, and his sigh of relief is like a drowned man’s first gasp for breath after being revived, quickly followed by more and more. 

“I love you. I love you.” He sobs, smothering you with kisses that you swallow down eagerly. 

He makes love to you, needy and scared, clinging onto you tight enough to leave room for nothing but his whispered confessions and pleas for yours. 

"Say you love me." He begs urgently, craving it more than his building release. 

"I love you." You blabber, your own ears not able to distinguish your words from the pathetic sobs as his hips smack against yours feverishly, but he hears them. 

"Say it again."

"I love you." 

"Again. Please." 

"I love you."

"Only me." 

"Only you." 

Beomgyu doesn’t let you breathe in anything that isn’t him. He surrounds you everywhere–his heat, his scent, his heartbeat… it all blends together and flows into you, uniting your being with his so tightly you don’t know where you end and he begins. 

_____________________________________

“He’s beautiful, isn’t he?” You whisper to the man behind you in an effort to not wake up the sleeping baby laying in his crib in front of you–your baby, your little prince. 

“Is he?” 

That voice. 

You immediately whip around, fear gripping your heart as you come face to face with the man you once called your husband. 

“Taehyun!” You stammer, reaching your arms out to try to protect your baby from him but when you hazard a glance back, he’s not there. 

“Where is he? You ask, panicked. 

“I could’ve given you a child. That baby should’ve been mine.” 

Tears spring to your eyes at his words. “Please, give him back.” 

But he ignores your plea, advancing on you. You try to move away but your legs don’t obey you. They keep you rooted to the spot as he comes closer and cradles your face in his hand. “Why did you leave me?” 

"I wanted to protect you." You attempt to answer, but your uncertainty is evident even to him. 

"Did you?" You look away guiltily but he turns your head back towards him. "Did you also give him a child to protect me? Are you going to let him kill me to protect me?"

"I tried to stop him but I failed. You saw what happened. I always mess up. I don't know what to do, Taehyun." You cry, but Taehyun isn’t Beomgyu, and he isn’t going to coddle you no matter how much you cry and whimper. "That's not an excuse."  

“I know, I–” He kisses you, shutting up your worthless justifications. Once again you can’t move. You have to stand there and let him devour your lips, his kisses harsh and angry. 

So you focus on gathering all the strength in your body, an effort so immense just to take a step back and beg, "Stop." 

He hears you and he pulls away, but only enough to talk, his lips brushing against yours as he does. "Why?”

“I’m married to Beomgyu.”

That makes him laugh darkly. “That didn’t stop you before. You cheated on me. What does it matter if you cheat on him too? That's what you do." 

You try to shake your head but he has your hair all fisted in his hand. “Don’t deny it. You want to be fucked, I know. Maybe if I had fucked you enough before, you wouldn’t have ran after his dick.” 

He rips your dress from your body, tearing it away the same way he did when you wore that dress Wonyoung got you, and with the same disdain. “I hate these fucking dresses.” He growls, “But you love them, don’t you? It’s another reason why you crawled back to him. I tried to give them to you, lost my fucking eye over it, but you couldn’t even give me some more time.” 

“That’s not why I left.” You deny, but that just makes him angrier. 

“Don’t lie to me. You know what I do to liars.” He hisses, grabbing your chin and digging his fingers into your cheeks, forcing your mouth open for him to kiss. He coaxes your tongue out, sucking on it before grazing it with his sharp teeth, making you shiver with both fear and lust. 

Are you lying? If you aren’t then why are you letting Beomgyu kill Taehyun? Why haven’t you killed him when you had the chance? 

Because you love him. Because you can’t live without him. Because he’s the father of your child. Because even though he is wicked, you could do so much good together, help so many people, live the rest of your life trying to atone for the horrible sins you've committed. 

But will you ever be forgiven?

As if he could hear your thoughts, Taehyun asks, “Do you believe him when he tells you that everything will be okay when I'm gone, angel? Do you think you'll forget me when I die? You think he’ll ever forget that I had you when he can taste me on your lips? Even if he kills me, he’ll always know that you let me shove my cock inside your pretty mouth and your tight cunt.” 

“Taehyun!” You gasp. This was so unlike him–the possessiveness, the jealousy, the emotion.  

“What? You like it when I talk to you like this? Treat you like the whore you are?” He grabs the underside of your thighs and lifts you up, walking you towards the bed before throwing you on it and prowling up to cover you with his body. He looms over you. "And you, you think it won’t eat you up alive everyday knowing what you did to me?"

"Then kill me." You beg him and he laughs. Clearly you aren’t strong enough to hurt Beomgyu or yourself, but he is. He can end you. He can end this tortured existence. "No, you don't deserve the mercy of death. You deserve to live by that monster for the rest of your miserable life."

“Taehyun–ah!” You squeak as he rips your legs open.

“Look how wet you are. You really like this, don’t you?” 

You bite your lip, trying to gather up your own emotions like precious gold, scared to show them to him lest he steal them away. 

He scoffs at your silence. “Come on, angel, speak up. I can’t know what you’re feeling if you don’t talk. So speak up.” He mocks, his fingers gliding up and down your spread pussy, his eyes falling to your hole as it flutters around nothing. 

His fingers tease around your entrance as his gaze flicks back up to you, harsh and angry, before he slams his fingers inside you, making your mouth fall open in a sharp cry. “Speak up, bitch.” 

“I’m sorry.” You weep, not knowing what else to say as his fingers ram into you, much too fast and hard. “I’m sorry, Taehyun.”

“Are you? Are you really?” He tilts his head to the side jeeringly, but you nod earnestly. “I am. I am.”

“If all that’s going to come out of that pretty mouth is lies then maybe you shouldn’t talk.” 

“W-what–hmph!” He stuffs his fingers that were just in your pussy into your mouth, choking you on your own taste. 

"You never loved me. You used me.” He spits out bitterly, and you feel his cock prodding at your entrance before it breaches your hole in one stroke. “You killed me."

Suddenly, Taehyun looks different, his clean, white skin covered in nasty cuts and bruises, a hideous gash extending across his neck, dripping warm blood onto your naked body. 

Overcome with the urge to throw up at the sickening sight, you close your eyes tightly, hoping to dispel the gruesome image, but he screams at you to look at him, not letting you escape what you did. 

“Look at me. Look at me! Look what you did.” 

You cry as you shake your head, hot tears flowing down your cheeks. Or maybe it was blood. 

"Don't cry." He screams at you as he continues to fuck you, uncaring about the pain he’s causing you or the blood that drains from his body. "You fucking killed me, you bitch."

You shake your head harder, unable to speak with the fingers buried deep in your mouth, the tips of them hitting the back of your throat and making you choke on something that didn’t taste like you anymore. No, it tasted metallic and nauseating. 

"Don’t cry." A voice shouts in your ear, much more vivid and clear this time. It feels more real than everything else and the shock of it allows you to finally, finally, spit the fingers out, sputtering out repeated No’s as your whole body spasms with cold dread.  

“Please, stop crying.” It tells you again, surprisingly gentle and worried. “Calm down, baby. I’m here. Please, princess!” 

Princess? 

Suddenly, you’re pulled out of this void of agony and despair you’ve been plunged into. Blinking away your tears, the ghastly visage of your past lover slowly loses its crimson discoloration as it morphs into the terrified face of your husband, tears of his own streaking down his flushed cheeks as he gazes at you in horror. 

“Beomgyu?” You croak, voice scratchy and strained. “W-what’s happening?” 

“You were having a nightmare, baby.” He explains, sniffling. 

“Why are you crying?” You ask, cupping his cheek and weakly wiping his sparkling tears away. 

“You were making all those noises, like you were being choked, and I–I was so worried.” He whimpers, leaning into your touch. “It’s so stupid. You’re the one who was having the nightmare, but I was so scared because I couldn’t get you to wake up. I couldn’t reach you in there.” He breaks out into a loud sob at the last part, lips trembling as he relives the terror. 

“I was scared too.” You whisper, pulling him tightly against you as if the physical proximity would allow him to protect your soul from further attack. 

Is this what your life is going to be like from now on? Plagued by nightmares of what you and your lover did? Getting trapped in a ghoulish dreamland where Beomgyu can’t reach you to comfort you? Is this your divine punishment?

______________________________

Taehyun is here. He is here to give himself up to appease Beomgyu’s wrath and save everyone else. He’s here to die so you can get your happily ever after. 

And here Beomgyu is, getting dressed in his ceremonial armor to personally carry out the execution of the man whose only sin was briefly making you his. 

You get dressed too, your attire blood-red just like Beomgyu’s so you wouldn’t be able to see any of the blood that might splatter in the aftermath of today’s abomination. 

"Don't make it hurt.” You plead your lover, and Beomgyu snaps his head to look at you with equal parts fury and imploration–half a mad king and half a child begging for something he wants but knows he shouldn’t have. "Let me take my vengeance on him."

"You're decimated his army, brought him to the ground, and now you’re going to take his life. What more do you need?” You press your hands against the gold of his breastplate, seeking the heartbeat you know is under there. “Just give him a quick death. Get it over with. Please, for me."

He looks into the distance, the request not sitting well with him, but he didn’t shoot you down immediately which tells you that he’s at least considering it. 

“Fine.” He says at long last and your knees buckle in relief under you as if you had managed to save Taehyun. “You don’t have to come, you know?” 

“I thought you said you would kill him in front of my eyes.” You remind him of his own words and he gives you a weary look. “I was mad when I said that. I never want to intentionally hurt you.”

You laugh wistfully at his claim. What he means is that he never wants to hurt you in a way that wouldn't benefit him, and he knows that seeing him personally kill Taehyun might be too much even for you.

This has always been Beomgyu’s method–keep you away from the battlefield so you’d forget all about his monstrous actions. But you owe this to Taehyun. If you’re the reason he’s losing his life then the least you could do is look him in the eye during his final moments and face all the hate he has for you. 

“I have to come.” 

“My queen–” 

“I chose you. You owe me this.” You snap at him and he recoils, shoulders slumping. He’s so anxious about ending this that he doesn’t have the energy to protest much “Yes, darling.” 

________________________

If you thought Kai looked bad, then Taehyun looks like he already has one foot beyond the veil. You’ve never seen him look so small, stripped of his leather and armor, his muscles–though never remarkably big–wasting away from malnourishment and the stress of war, what appears of his skin bruised and discolored, and his hair cut in a blunt style so as not to obstruct the vision in his one good eye. 

Dear god, his eyes. 

He's not even wearing the black enamel anymore, a hollow socket left in its place surrounded by darkened skin, giving you a glimpse of what he will look like once the crows have picked out the other eye. After all, dead men have no use for sight. 

But for now, he sees, looking at you with that singular, stormy eye of his, and you don’t know how you missed it before–perhaps it got diluted in the middle back when both were intact, and then was overshadowed by the black orb he put in-but you see so much emotion there now, intensified enough by the singular outlet for you to finally perceive. 

Anger, pride, regret, disappointment, fear… and so much more that you can't begin to untangle, so much that will be silenced forever when his vision goes dark. 

His gaunt face had been so startling to behold that you almost missed the necklace wrapped around his neck… a pearl necklace, your necklace!

W-What? Why? Why is he wearing that? What is he trying to do? 

You ponder it for a second, eyes jumping around the room in a confused frenzy, before they land on Beomgyu’s sword, and you’re immediately hit with a sickening realization–he’s showing the world who is behind his death. You are. You did this to him. 

Suddenly, you see him as you saw him in your dream, wounded and bloody. You see Beomgyu standing over his corpse, triumphant. And it takes everything in you not to fall to your knees. 

He doesn't deserve this. It had been so exhausting for you to fight your short battle before you gave in and ran back to your captor, but Taehyun has been fighting all his life. He never gave up, never flinched back no matter the horror he was facing. He even fought for you when you couldn't be bothered to fight for yourself. And yet here you are, preparing to watch him die for the sin of choosing to help you when he should have turned away like all the others. 

No act of kindness goes unpunished. 

You shake your head, a few bitter tears getting dislodged in the process and burning down your cheeks.

It has to be done. You think as Beomgyu recounts to the crowd of noble men and women gathered the crimes he has fabricated for Taehyun, his only real crime standing there for all to gawk at.

It has to be done. You think as you watch the proud man being forced to his knees, his head lowered down so his pearled neck could receive the royal sword’s fatal kiss. Still, he attempts to look at you, raising his face up to pin you under his gaze the same way the guards are pinning him to the floor. 

It has to be done. You think as Beomgyu, enraged that Taehyun even dares to look at you, grabs him by the back of the head and shoves his face back down. But once again, Taehyun looks up at you. 

It has to be done. You think as Beomgyu angrily unsheathes his sword and doesn't even ask Taehyun for his last words. 

It has to be done. 

Gods help you for what you're about to do. 

It's easy for you to slip past the guards flanking your side. You’ve proven yourself loyal to Beomgyu and so they forsake watching you in favor of watching the deadly dance of their king and the reviled warlord. 

You didn't expect to do this, you contemplate as your legs that were so heavy before carry you easily towards Beomgyu, as if walking on air, your arms solidly brandishing the dagger you had been gifted by the man on his knees. 

Taehyun is the only one to react to your sudden movement, eyes widening as he gasps. 

Or maybe he’s the only one you can see or hear, because suddenly Beomgyu is turning around to face you, startled. It all happens slowly, so painfully slowly. You can see the concern on his face first, followed by shock when he sees the dagger glinting in the sunlight, and then pain erupts across his beautiful face as the dagger plunges itself into his chest. 

You let out a pained wail even before he does. 

"I'm sorry." You choke out, your fingers grasping the hilt of the dagger in a death-grip as if you could take it back. As if you can undo what you've done. "I'm so sorry."

You hear people running behind you but Beomgyu barks at them. “Don’t touch her!”

They immediately still, clueless as to what to do as everyone else is in this court of madness. As clueless as you are. 

Oh, gods, what have you done?

“Hey, it’s okay. Don't cry.” Beomgyu murmurs softly, braving the pain to comfort you. Always comforting you even as your knife is buried in his chest. “I hate seeing you cry."

That just makes you cry harder. You’ve made a terrible mistake. "Beomgyu, I–" 

Your eyes widen as you’re cut off by a sharp pain that overwhelms your senses, and you look down to see Beomgyu's sword jutting out from your abdomen. You look up at him in confusion, not grasping what you’re seeing. Beomgyu would never hurt you like this. He would never. "Beomgyu?" 

But if the excruciating pain radiating from the sword protruding from your belly isn’t making it clear enough, then the horrified screams of Wonyoung does. "What have you two done?!" 

You also hear an anguished shout of your name, followed by a commotion and what sounds like someone being restrained. 

But you don’t look at any of them. You only look at the man in front of you–your lover, your soulmate, your killer. 

"Shhh. It's going to be okay.” He hushes your pitiful cries. “I'm not going to leave you. Never again." 

Of course. It all makes sense now. Beomgyu promised to never let you go, and he’s not going to break that promise even in death. 

"I love you." He murmurs, pressing a tight, pained kiss to your lips. 

"I love you too." You say helplessly. You deserve it all. You deserve him. You harbored this monster, loved and nourished him, reveled in all the twisted pleasures he gave you, hid between his sharp claws that were sullied by the blood of others. So how can you expect a different end to such a despicable existence?

"I'll find you in our next life." He vows to you, smiling as if it were your wedding day again. "I'll get it right next time. I promise you."

Next time? The thought sends a chill down your spine. 

No, please, let this be the end. You love him endlessly and tirelessly. The sun might grow sick of the day sky, the waves might abandon their shores, mothers might forsake their young, but you’d never stop loving Beomgyu. 

But you can’t do this again. Please, let your souls intertwine and become a distant star, far away from everyone and everything, together forever or until the lights in the heavens go out. But not this again. 

"It looks like you hit my heart. How ironic is that?" Beomgyu lets out a shuddering laugh before he kisses you again sluggishly. "Don't keep me waiting for long. I’ll miss you. I love you."

“Beomgyu, I–” 

He slumps forward, falling limply into your arms. 

Wonyoung shrieks, running towards you and taking him from your paralyzed grip. “Call the palace physician. Get him here now!”

The whole court springs into action, trying to save their king and queen. But you know it’s no use. He’s already dead. You know he’s dead. You can’t feel his soul anymore, and you know that soon, you will be too.

______________

You’re not dead yet. How could you not be dead yet when half your soul is already rotting away? Why are you still clinging onto this miserable world that has lost all its color and beauty with the departure of your loved one? The gods must truly enjoy your suffering to want to prolong it this much. 

When the door creaks open, your dying heart gives a weak thump, still foolishly hoping it would somehow be Beomgyu on the other side, back to tell you that he’s okay after all, that it wasn’t as bad as it seemed to be, and that he forgives you for what you had done. 

But it wasn’t Beomgyu. No, because you killed him. 

It was Taehyun, who now seems to resemble death itself, and for a second you wonder if the gods were playing a particularly cruel joke on you by having your collector take on the form of the man you had betrayed and betrayed the love of your life for. 

“Taehyun?” You ask shakily, growing more anxious the longer he hesitates at the door. Startled by your voice, he finally moves, walking towards you with trepidation in his step that is entirely too human. “I’m here.” 

He takes your hands in his and you stare down at them, feeling the chasm in your heart pulsating hideously at the touch as if in protest. 

"You saved me." He breathes out incredulously, like he can’t believe it. You can’t believe it too. 

"You deserve to live." You tell him, matter of fact. Everyone got what they deserved. 

"So do you." He proclaims and you smile wistfully. Oh, Taehyun. 

"What is going to happen to you now?" You ask him, brushing off his misguided declaration and he frowns, considering whether to push his point or just answer your question.  

For now, he answers your question. "I don't know but princess Wonyoung–well, I should say queen Wonyoung now--is allowing me and Kai to return home if we agree to a ceasefire. I don't think she cares about continuing the war anymore. Neither do we."

"Right." With Beomgyu dead and you to follow him, what else is there to fight about? 

"It won't be easy dealing with the fallout but–" 

"But it's better this way." You finish for him. 

"No! How can it be better when I'm losing you?" His voice wavers and you look at him curiously. Is he going to cry for you? After all you’ve done? 

"Don't cry over me. I don’t deserve it. I loved him." 

"He tricked you. He–"

You squeeze his hands firmly, or as firm as your dwindling strength allows, stopping his empathetic excuses. "I still loved him and you know that. You don’t have to pretend like I’m blameless just because I’m dying. It isn't like you."

"I just…" He trails off, staring down at your joined hands uselessly. 

"I still loved him… I loved him and he killed our baby. He didn’t want me to live if he wasn’t going to have me.” You pause, letting out a tired laugh. It was never about protecting your child after all. It was about keeping you. “You know what the sad thing is? I wouldn’t have wanted to live without him either, but he didn’t even give me the choice. He never did.” 

Taehyun stays silent and you wonder what is going on inside his head. He must think you’re stupid for expecting anything else from Beomgyu. He must think you deserve it now. He must find you abhorrent for saying you would have killed yourself if Beomgyu hadn’t. 

"You should go." You sigh, the breath coming out harder now.

But to your surprise, he shakes his head. “No. I won’t go.” He says, taking out the pearl necklace he was wearing at his failed execution. "I am not going to leave you alone." 

He leans forward, trying to wrap the necklace around your neck but you lift your hand up and push it down, shaking your head. 

"I won't be alone." You say and he looks at you in confusion. "I'll be with him."

His face changes into the contemptuous expression you've been expecting all this time. "You're choosing him again? I can't even win against his corpse?" He spits out bitterly, taking the necklace back and shoving it in his pocket.

"I killed him for you. What more do you want?” You ask him tiredly. Haven’t you already made the ultimate sacrifice for him? Is even this not enough? Can’t you spend your last moments on alive with the one person who loved you? The person you betrayed for Taehyun? The person who is now cold and stiff on his deathbed, waiting for you to warm him up or grow cold next to him. 

He’s so, so cold… 

“You know you never even said you loved me once?" 

“I did–” He protests but you cut him off. “You’ve never said I love you and meant it.” 

He opens his mouth and you hold your breath, the world stilling around you. 

Do you want to hear it? Would it make anything better? It would only dig the knife of what could’ve been deeper. What use is it now?

But you do want to hear it. You want to believe that you could’ve had someone else’s love, that you could’ve deserved more than what Beomgyu dictated for you. 

But then he shuts his mouth again, furiously wiping away his tears as if it disgusted him to have any evidence of them left.

"Go, Taehyun. I don't want to spend my last few hours on this earth doubting if I am worthy of love or not. At least he loved me. He's the only one who ever did." 

And so he leaves–storming away angrily and slamming the door behind him, but he leaves. He always leaves. 

Isn’t it time for you to die yet? 

In the wake of Taehyun’s furious exit and behind your useless tears, you see Wonyoung enter, a vision of an angel as she floats down towards your deathbed. 

"Is there any way I could make you more comfortable?" She asks softly. 

"Why are you so nice to me? I killed your brother."

She shakes her head, always so patient despite her grief. "He killed himself when he started all of this."

You don’t get her. How can she be so fine with this when the weight of what you’ve done is killing you faster than the sword they took out of you. "Aren't you angry at me?"

"What use is being angry? Is it going to bring him back?" She asks, finally letting a little edge creep out in her voice, but she quickly reins it back in. "My brother made a lot of mistakes, some he was driven to and some by his own volition, and they all led to where he is right now. It is no use to dwell on it. Why spend your last hours making you answer for sins you've committed together? For sins I was a part of. I killed him as much as you did when I encouraged his unhealthy obsession."

You fall silent for a while, considering her words. She’s right. What use is it dwelling on any of this and leaving him alone? You’re going to die soon so you might as well let go of your guilt. The gods will make you answer for your crimes whether you feel sorry about them or not. 

"I want to be with him." You finally say and she nods. “He’d like that.”

__________________

They take you to him, laying you both down on your bed before leaving you alone with only a single candle burning on the bedside table. It’s good. Your souls need the peace. 

You look up at your lover’s deathly visage and frown. He used to be so expressive, in happiness, in love, in anger, in madness… never was there such a lively spirit as his, but as you look at him now, you find nothing but emptiness that resounds in your very core. It chills you to the bone as you curl up tighter around him, chasing a warmth that isn’t there anymore. 

You don't know what will become of the others now. Will the war really end? Is Wonyoung going to be a good queen? Will Taehyun get remarried? How will Beomgyu be remembered in a hundred years? Will you both be wiped out from the history books?

You hope so. The oblivion of death can’t come soon enough. 

Mercifully, you can feel the drug Wonyoung had given you making its way from your faltering heart to your collapsing veins, pulling you into a slumber you know you won’t be waking from. 

You smile at the thought, leaning up to kiss the corner of Beomgyu’s lips before whispering one last “I love you.”

And with that, you finally let go.

______________________

A/N: well, it's finally over. make sure to let me know what you thought of the end or i will cry. lol jk but i really really appreciate all the feedback. thank you all for coming on this journey with me. i definitely wouldn't have been able to finish this fic if it weren't for all your support ❤️

and now, click on this link to see the future fics i have in store and vote on your favorite one. the one you pick will be the one i write!