#her sacrificing herself didn’t change her or make everyone around her see her as a good person

[lesvianism]

probably an unpopular opinion but i prefer believing jinx truly died at the hexgates rather than the implication that she survived the blast…

[lets-get-kraken-boys]

Gojo and Geto with bad bitch Chubby Reader

Guys, I tried to avoid being a Gojo stan...I tried so hard to hate him...but the pull was too strong. He got my ass. He's too silly. He's too cute the little shit. He's too perfect. Geto's great too before he lost his shit and went psycho the two are just too great to pass up.

2024 WILL BE THE YEAR THAT I GET YOU BITCHES TO PREACH STRONG, CONFIDENT, INDEPENDENT but not too independent bc these men are still yummy af CHUBBY READER! No longer will I be insecure about my weight because these men LOVE to see me coming AND going, I can tell you that.

WARNING: Fatphobia (happens when first meeting Gojo & Geto—they’re teens trying to bully Reader, but she handles herself because they’re idiots), A little angst with the small amount of bullying but I hope I made up for it, Cursing

✧༺♥༻✧

Imagine you, Gojo, Geto, and Shoko being classmates and friends during their schooling at Jujutsu High. All of you are powerful threats not to be taken lightly. The boys were undoubtedly freaks of nature with how strong they were—though, you had doubled over laughing alongside Shoko a couple of times when you heard them deem themselves "the strongest duo", as if they were some cool loner wolf types. Shoko was a master in the medicinal field; she made any injury look like a breeze to clean. She'd stitch them up no problem with her cursed energy and send them merrily on their way with a swift kick to their backside.

You definitely have more proficiency with cursed energy usage for combat more so than healing, but you could manage healing yourself just fine. You’d been born into a clan, not as highly revered as the Zenin or Gojo clans but still notable, so you’ve been taught from an early age how to wield cursed energy. Sacrificing yourself for the greater good of the world has been drilled into your head since birth, and you agreed with it. The world’s innocence needs to be protected from the cursed dangers life creates. Sure, there are bad people in the world, but the good people make life worth living. At least, that’s what you choose to believe.

While you’re just a normal—aside from the slight infinite power and jaw-dropping strength—girl, you are different in one more physical way. You’re chubbier than most, and not by a small bit.

Are you insecure about it?

Hell fucking no!

You’re a bad bitch. Fantastic face, banging body, stunning smile, bright eyes, a kind but strong heart, and even a cute butt to top it off. You knew this world inside out with how cruel it could be to plus sized folk, and while you took the beating for far too long without fighting back, you took a couple of steps back a few years ago to look at the situation. Why let people push you around like you didn’t matter? Why let them speak to you like you’re lesser than them simply because you weigh more? You were done being talked to like you were filth underneath their boots.

Since that new perspective, you’ve chosen the road of self love and hands rated E for everyone. You’re kind and sweet to those who reciprocate the respect. To those who try you, you beat their asses with a smile. “Education on Human Decency” is what you’ve begun to call the smackdowns since many want to try casting judgment in snide remarks or sneering looks. They can try these hands instead :)

That’s where Jujutsu High and the headaches you know as Gojo Satoru and Geto Suguru fit into this philosophy of yours.

You were homeschooled by your clan in the first year of your sorcery high school. Though, after much begging for a change of scenery and yearning for social interactions other than your family and neighbors, they allowed you to go to a high school centered on jujutsu sorcery the next school year.

When you started Jujutsu High in your second year, that is where you met Shoko, Gojo, and Geto, your classmates. The first thought to cross your mind was how small this crowd was. Sure, it wasn’t like the classes you’ve had before had many students in them either; the world of curses and cursed energy wasn’t exactly a booming population to start with, especially when every year is the same class roster composed of the few brothers and sisters you had. Considering that, three new faces was much better than before! You introduced yourself with a joyful tone and an eager handshake.

You started with Shoko since she was the only other girl. You’re glad you did. Shoko, who you originally thought would be tricky to get along with since she gave off “rebel” vibes with that unlit cigarette dangling from her lips and you were nothing of the sort, held a grin and took your handshake with grace. She told you she liked your spunk, that it was nice to be around another girl rather than more stinking boys. You agreed with her with a relieved sigh. You two shared a laugh and chatted some more, each of you discussing your thoughts of the school and figuring out your mutual interests.

Soon enough, you were interrupted by someone giving a very noticeable and forced cough behind you. You turned and were met with two boys, one with jet black hair and a sly grin and the other one with silvery moonlight colored strands sharing the same expression hidden behind circular sunglasses. The white haired boy was leaning heavily on the black haired boy with one arm propped on his shoulder as the black-haired boy crossed his arms in front of himself. Seems like the two are close. No matter.

You stuck your hand out, another smile—admittedly, this one was a little more forced than the one you shared with Shoko—and gave your name. Suguru was the first to bite. He grabbed your hand with a smooth, warm grip, and exchanged his name. His shake felt sincere, though the cunning smirk still laid on his lips.

You tried to shake the other boy’s hand after letting Suguru go, but he decided otherwise. He swiftly with no mercy said he wasn’t going to shake hands with the likes of “you”. You raised an eyebrow, already sensing the insult he would try to hurl at you. One thing bullies are is predictable. None of them have any creative bone in their body, they’re like leeches, in a way. Mooching off other clever remarks they’ve heard used before through the Internet or their idiot friends. Though, they alway reproduce it much shitter than the first time they heard it.

He leaned in with a smile and yapped about how if he touches you, some of your fat might rub off on him. Gojo tries to drag Geto into bullying you too by shamelessly asking if Geto is worried that will happen to him now that he’s so brazenly touched you. As much as you wanted Suguru to be his own person, to be better than the loser clinging to him like a koala, he chimed in that while Gojo’s afraid of that, that that could never happen to him. He sneered while looking down at you that he actually has the discipline to keep the weight off. The two of them share an evil snicker together.

Oh, so that’s how they wanna play it.

Okay. You don’t mind showing a bitch their place.

As Shoko pipes up and tells them to shut the hell up, you stop her. You give her a kind smile that says “I love you, but please back the fuck up as I rock these bitches world”. Her eyebrows jump up in surprise, but she gives you a nod. She quiets down.

You choose to laugh with them. They slowly shut their mouths, finding laughing at you not that funny when you don’t crumple under their taunts like they’d expected. You then explain to them that what you find so funny is that punks like them are so easy to read and, subsequently, ruin. You told them they need to find better insults to steal if they wanna cackle like they’re some kind of drunk hyenas and, unless they get more creative, they’re not worth the air they take from others. You turned to walk away, but since you just couldn’t help yourself, you gave the both of them a swift kick to the chest. Unprepared for the action, they both were sent careening back, but remained standing. You also snarkily nagged that being “undisciplined in weight loss” gave you the extra weight to knock their scrawny asses back that far.

Shoko gave you a hearty high five while laughing at them getting what they deserve. Gojo, though baffled at your defiance, is ready to start throwing punches, as he spews half-assed insults left and right. Geto manages to keep his thoughts to himself, but you do note his expression has definitely become sour. This little scrap is swiftly interrupted by your new teacher, Masamichi Yaga, when he enters and orders the class to settle down. He also snuffs Gojo’s babbling tantrum with a merciless smack to his forehead.

You give a small grin stuck your tongue out at the two when Mr. Masamichi turned his back. From then on, it was war.

You, Geto, and Gojo fought constantly in the beginning

When they (mostly Gojo now) tried to stir shit with you, you’d fling their rudeness right back at them

Whether they tried to pick on your weight, or cheery personality, or strength (which they couldn’t make too much fun off since you were only a little less strong than they were, but so was everyone else compared to their insane powers), you were always ready to kick their asses

You didn’t resent them for their teasing, mostly since you had a good head on your shoulders and you know that Gojo’s only deflecting all the shit he hates about himself onto other people, but they sure got on your nerves sometimes

So, you decided soon into your acquaintance with these dopes that instead of simply beating their asses every time they said some wack shit and never correcting the behavior, you’re going put an end to their bullying of based on others appearances

Because, who knows. You have enough self love and confidence to defend yourself against their rude remarks, but not everyone does. What happens if they target other plus sized people who maybe can’t or won’t defend themselves?

So, when they’d try to make fun of you, you’d correct them with sincerity and help them understand why that would hurt to someone

Geto pretty much never made a passing comment like that again towards you. You’re happy to see that change in him

Gojo huffed and puffed after what he called “your lecture”, but you also saw change in him

After that, it was slow progress to all be friends

Shoko and you were doing great! Hanging out outside of school, dragging her along with you to do some window shopping, eating a sit down lunch together, going to the nearest bookstore, grabbing a yummy sweet treat, stargazing—you did it all together!

She always made a fuss that she had “no interest” in what you would force her to do, but you could secretly tell she liked doing girly stuff together. As long as she could have a smoke break in between these hang outs, she was all good

The first time you, Geto, and Gojo made a recovery in your rocky relationship was when they asked if they could come along with the two of you to get a treat together

You were a bit hesitant to share the thing that brings you joy with the two people who tried to make you the butt of the joke, but you threw them bone and agreed

You four walked down the sidewalk, mostly you chit chatting with Shoko, when Gojo butted his way into the conversation at your mention of Kikufuku.

You and him bonded over your mutual love of the delicate, bouncy sweet treat and you watched as his eyes sparkled like a little kid when you said the place you were going to had an excellent Kikufuku

You know, when Gojo isn’t being a menace, he’s actually nice to share a conversation with

Geto teased Gojo for his astounding sweet tooth, and explained to you an embarrassing story of Gojo losing his mind one time when a dog stole one of his dorayaki treats and ran off

You laughed as Gojo tried to hit Geto as payback for sharing the “secret” but Geto fended off his flailing

Maybe I'll come back to this idea one day when I'm not hung up on the bullying. If you guys like this idea, I might continue it with less bullying. I am a baby when it comes to angst lol. I really do love these boys, I just don't think my heart is ready for the subject matter I wrote.

✧༺♥༻✧

[flower-blossoms654]

Each time I think about how they took out the Goldy Pond arc, I get so angry. Cause like not only was it a good ass arc, getting rid of it takes out something integral to the story as a whole, that I just don’t think they realized/cared about:

The validation of Emma’s beliefs.

Emma is established to be this happy-go-lucky character right? And as the children are still in Grace Field, you see that she still keeps this demeanor while juggling the new graveness of the situation she is in. While losing some of her naivety, she still shows herself capable of being someone hopeful for the future who will not let her circumstances get the better of her. The most important part of what makes this WORK for her character (instead of making it annoying and unrealistic) is the fact that she both acknowledged and experiences the tragedy of the world she is trying to be hopeful in. It’s not some little girl being like “I believe everything’s gonna be fine! Sparkles and rainbows!” while being shielded from the darker parts of the world. It’s a little girl who looks in the face of the darkness and that terrible world and is in the MIDST of it. It’s a little girl who found the dead body of her younger sibling and was faced with the reality that her whole life was a lie. It’s a little girl who realized her whole family was going to die and fought to grab onto her hope despite how overwhelmingly bleak their situation was. She knew and yet she didn’t hesitate to believe that they could escape. She knew and still wanted to yell to the world that she was going to save EVERYONE. Seeing someone so unwaveringly hopeful even after being hit with devastating loss and despair is like a beacon for anyone else struggling to keep surviving. Emma is lovable for how she loves—how her hope and determination stands fast in the face of adversity and still goes forward even as more events threaten to shake and bend it.

For whatever reason season 2 was changed the way it was (I’ve heard many things)(if it was because of the guns then WHY pick up the anime in the first place bc you derail EVERYTHING) it could never stand completely without Goldy Pond.

Goldy Pond is in plain terms Emma’s defining arc. It seems to be pushing forward a question whose answer will define the rest of the series.

“Who is Emma?”

Not as she is with her siblings. Not as she is when there is her family there to keep her going. Who is Emma, and how will she grow from here on out?

Goldy Pond is the first time Emma is “alone”. She has none of her siblings around her and she is in an unfamiliar environment, with people she does not know. People by all means unconnected to her when she has a family to get back to and protect.

But Emma doesn’t treat them that way. She cares for each stranger she meets, jeopardizing her safety by using herself as bait—by charging forward into battle to protect them and change the demons’ focus. As the arc progresses and she meshes herself into the other children’s ranks, treating them as family as well, it seems to be clear what the answer is. As she serves as a distraction in this main fight. As she reminds them of details of HOW they can win this fight even when there seems to be no hope left. When she gets empaled and STILL takes a shot to kill Duke Leuvis.

Emma is hopeful and kind and self-sacrificing. She treats strangers as she would treat her family, and cares for all lives the same. She is so overwhelmingly forthright and sincere in her emotions and love, that you can’t help but want to support and follow her. That is who Emma is. She is not naive. She has seen death and battle and bleak circumstances but still rises to the challenge EVERY time — and most importantly this time was the bleakest so far. This time she was “ALONE”.

She has the experience behind her to make her care for all things “valid”. This is not a silly, childish little girl not knowing all the different aspects of her declarations. She says they will survive and you can take her for her word because she knows what it’s like to be near death. But specifically and more crucially for Goldy Pond (and therefore the rest of the series): Emma says that she wants to save demons. And with Goldy Pond, you can take her word for it.

When Norman declares that his way of saving everyone is to have a demon genocide, the most important part of this is that we as the readers support Emma and her viewpoint (that the demons should not be killed.) Her viewpoint is valid in the manga because of what she has gone through. Emma says she wants to save demons and we can take her for her word because she has experience at the hands of some of the worst cruelty from demons possible. She and other children were hunted for sport. She was placed in a mockery of a sanctuary and hunted down for demons entertainment—not for the demon’s hunger or survival but for FUN. And she still turns around and says that she believes there are GOOD demons.

Without this, Emma has nothing in her experience for her to stand toe to toe with Norman’s beliefs. She looks like a naive, silly child trying to justify a foolish dream when she has experienced nothing of the world. It’s practically an insult to Norman and his experiences and it doesn’t give off what it should to the watcher. How are we supposed to believe in Emma (and go against a GENOCIDE) when it seems as if the writers want to paint that the genocide is the reasonable answer (when it fucking ISNT). And this is all because without Goldy Pond, Emma doesn’t have the experience to be meaningfully hopeful. She can’t properly value her positive experience with Mujika because she doesn’t not have a big enough negative experience to weight it against (and gracefield isn’t good enough bc Norman has gone through more than that). For Emma to have weight, she needs to be able to weight the good and the bad and STILL choose good. To still choose to be hopeful and caring.

Getting rid of Goldy Pond got rid of such an important foundation of Emma as a character and I can never forgive them for that.

[nexility-sims]

𝐍𝐎. 𝟗   ❛ 𝐡𝐨𝐭 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐟𝐚𝐬𝐭 ❜   |   CANARÍS, OCTOBER 1991

❧  𝐝𝐢𝐫𝐞𝐜𝐭𝐨𝐫𝐲  /  𝐛𝐞𝐠𝐢𝐧𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠  /  𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐯𝐢𝐨𝐮𝐬  /  𝐧𝐞𝐱𝐭.

In Canarís, something shifted. Arnaut perceived it as subtle, and he struggled to name it when he wondered aloud to Lorraine. He danced around it, grasping for meaning in observations, but there was a simple explanation. In his gut, he felt that people had been happy to see him. Their family arrived at the train station as the work week ended, emerging like generations before them to a crowd of locals eager to greet royalty. German and Abelina were becoming accustomed to the rhythm of life in Uspana. It was cause for optimism that the newborns would grow up without the adjustment pains that the rest of the family faced. Just as well, their birth inspired a deluge of good press. Arnaut quickly learned the public more readily embraced him as a father than as someone capable or even destined to lead them. Yet, at the train station, the tenor of their shouts was different. The questions they asked were different. He embraced them, old women and teenagers and grinning toddlers, and they gazed at him with what struck him as new—changed, even—eyes. 

❧ we're back !!!!!!! gonna post the magazine covers separately :^) as a reminder, large text will be below the read-more going forward, for ~readability~

𝐟𝐮𝐥𝐥 𝐬𝐜𝐞𝐧𝐞 & 𝐭𝐫𝐚𝐧𝐬𝐜𝐫𝐢𝐩𝐭 ↓

Such welcomings happened everywhere, but residents of Canarís understood themselves to be reenacting a kind of ceremony when it was their turn. A century after abandoning Canarís, the House of Tecuani remained seemingly divided on where its capital lay. The seat of government was in Nakawe. The ancestral home was in Yaas. Many members preferred in recent decades to live by the sea in Canarís—or to buy second homes, at least. This was where the Hunter went when he descended from the mountains to build the kingdom of Uspana, joining seafaring families whose names were subsumed into the clan they chose to lead them. It was the capital until revolting Uspanians many generations later burned and razed much of it, including the king’s palace. There were no palaces in Canarís anymore. There were still magnificent estates, but everyone politely called them villas or cottages, speaking as if belief alone could render the enduring resplendence quaint and inoffensive. 

It was possible the crowd’s warmth felt so palpable because Arnaut had spent the entire train ride stewing in desperation. This vacation was unearned, he had decided. The Crown positioned holidays as indispensable. Beatriz herself set aside a few days each month to feign relaxation away from the capital; Arnaut held fond memories of those childhood getaways spent in Initizara, surrounded by their ever-expanding family. No one much had the stomach for Initizara these days, but the schedule of vacations remained.

Yet, Arnaut felt anxious. Didn’t it teeter on the dangerous edge of presumptuousness—promising to work hard, to change minds, and then sacrificing time to pleasure instead? He wrote the accusatory headlines in his head. More than just knowing their names, he listened to news commentators enough to conjure up imaginary criticisms in their voices. Should I smile? he wondered. Or would that make it worse, looking sour and ungrateful? They would ask what he had to complain about. They would think, ‘I’d lose my job if I ran off to Canarís for a week!’ Disapproval had a face in his mind. It was an older woman who watched daytime television while her grandchildren played nearby. She was a clan mother. She voted. She used a backstrap loom. She had looked into a television camera and insisted with dismay, ‘People don’t change at forty.’

Still, that was the sense he got as he interacted with the crowd. Some wanted to fawn over him. They said beguiling things about how excited they were to see him, how happy they were he had come to Canarís, how they prayed for him. The mood was distinct. These people were not just eager for photographs and stories to brag about; they hadn’t all joined the crowd amassing at the station for want of afternoon plans. For some of them, enough to matter, Arnaut inspired something positive. He wasn’t an unwanted pretender masquerading as their crown prince. His visit meant something to them because, in an undeniable way, he did. 

Later, he would finally blurt out to Lorraine, ‘I think they were proud of me—really, who knows why or if it’s true, but I believe they were.’

It wasn’t implausible. Arnaut had been hard at work for months, single-minded in his pursuit of improvement. Managing a crowd with charisma had never been an issue for him, but they were too often overcast by a cloud of suspicion and disappointment. On some level, he understood that the smiling faces and enthusiastic waving spoke for themselves and, in reality, his own insecurities were to blame for any misgivings. It was the litany of surveys and polls that shaped his reality, however. He obsessively watched the news, and his head swam with a flood of data pinpointing all the ways the nation found him lacking. It represented the millions of people who didn’t turn out in hopes of having their hand held by a prince for one brief, fleeting moment. Of course, those millions didn’t closely follow his real work, either—weren’t regular readers of tabloid rags like the National Exchange or newspapers of record like Relay. They responded instinctively to what was in the water. If the politicians at Nakawe Palace and the reporters who circled it and the royal family’s true fans found him lacking, the distaste became unimpeachable truth. It was truth to the faceless millions, and it was truth to him.

Lately, he had begun to feel like there was less blood in the water. 

They were joining Martin in Canarís, and the two families spent the time frolicking on the beach and dining under the stars. When they went out onto the water together, Martin confirmed Arnaut’s hunch. He suggested in his characteristic brusque way that Arnaut wasn’t as much of a laughable embarrassment as he had been that spring. Martin's wife was frail and almost a stranger, but she laughed heartily and smacked Arnaut’s arm after teasing out the admission that, yes, he was finally feeling likable. She was kind and likable herself, and her slow but steady decline was one of two dark spots on the vacation.

One morning, Arnaut found Martin out on the deck with remnants of breakfast and pages of print news splayed on the table. He only glance at them long enough to register what they were and remarked, “I thought we weren’t reading the news here,” as he sank down into an open seat. 

Martin’s nose was in a copy of the Fiscal Register. He replied without looking up, “Not really news, is it?” 

Examining the pages, a series of similar headlines grabbed Arnaut’s attention. He slid one of the papers, reorienting it in his direction, and absorbed the cover story with wide eyes. It wasn’t unusual to see Leonor on the front page of tabloids. She had become an exciting subject, and the loyal pack of photographers that trailed her around Nakawe ensured a steady supply of intriguing, occasionally outrageous, exploitable pictures. Arnaut remembered those days. Or, he remembered something akin to what her life was now, so limitless and delicious as to be out of control, with the crucial distinction that the press felt less hungry in his memories. His bad stories came from trustworthy leaks given to reputable journalists, not from candid photographs that spoke—screamed, really—for themselves. He had also never found himself in the mess Leonor appeared to have fallen into almost overnight. These covers offered grainy but unmistakable pictures of her, and Arnaut didn’t need to believe the sensational headlines and captions to be troubled by what the images suggested. 

“Did you see this?” he demanded of Martin, his tone incredulous. He flipped the paper around and pointed at the picture dominating the page. 

Martin lowered his paper. “Obviously. These aren’t here to be decorative.” 

Slowly, Arnaut blinked. “Is that it?” he asked. “You don’t—what, really, no thoughts? It’s shocking, isn’t it? Does anyone know—they do, they must, but what are we doing?” 

He might have continued with this attempt to process the news aloud, but Martin interrupted him. “We’re not doing anything.”

“Aren’t you concerned?” 

Martin shrugged. “It’s a little dramatic, huh?” 

“Is it?” Arnaut shuffled the papers together and read from them. “‘Princess L’s Big Plunge—Almost,’ ‘“Wanted to End It All,” Friend Says,’ 'Drug-Induced Psychosis? Our Expert Speaks on Page 3—’” Arnaut huffed. “I mean, look!”

“We’d know if it was that serious,” Martin replied, untroubled. “You see her all the time, don’t you? Either you can’t be that surprised or it’s all nonsense. You tell me.” 

At this, Arnaut frowned. It was a stretch to say they saw each other that frequently. Leonor’s preference was to behave like coworkers, not like relatives and certainly not like people who had always been bound together by deep love for the same remarkable person. Her hours were erratic at best, but it was difficult to complain when no one else did. The people on their team knew her; she had been gifted their unshakeable trust at birth, it seemed, and he struggled with envy for that. When she jeopardized the infallibility of that trust, she would do something to shore it up—impeccable contributions on the policy front, experience-informed insight in a meeting, effortlessly leveraging valuable connections that Arnaut still bumbled his way through. She was living a double life of sorts, so was the problem that she did it too well?

“Maybe she’s fine,” he ventured, folding his arms on the table. Martin had set aside the Fiscal Register and was looking at the papers Arnaut had reorganized. As he did, Arnaut continued, “You know, she looks thinner, but she seems better? I suppose it seemed inappropriate to comment on that kind of thing—everyone else does, so why would I? Someone would say, if she wasn’t healthy. And, she’s there, she’s present, except for when she’s literally not there, which, frankly, is often, but—” At this, Martin snickered. “Even if she’s not actually—uh, what would you say?” 

“A drug addict?” Martin offered, grinning.

Arnaut groaned. “Right, okay. Even if she's not doing that badly, then ... She's going to get in trouble for this. I haven't talked to Mama lately, but—”

Martin sat back in his chair. “Oh,” he said, making a show of the pause in a way Arnaut found obnoxious. “You don’t get it, do you?”

“What?” Arnaut retorted. “Don’t be an asshole.” 

“Well!” Martin exclaimed, raising his hands. “Look, it’s a mistake to think that this isn’t ... part of the plan.”

“Plan?”

Looking solemn, Martin nodded. “You know Mama reads the tabloids every day. She’s worse than anyone. I think she likes getting mad, or maybe she just likes the gossip that much—” Arnaut waved a hand, and Martin sniffed. “Anyway, she knows what’s going on. Absolutely. I guarantee she knew about this story before either of us did.” 

Their mother was a voracious consumer of lurid slop, Arnaut knew. It was a hobby of hers in the same way other people read literature or advice columns. Copies were delivered nightly, and she read them alongside her stack of briefs and letters. Broadly, she was part of their target audience. Uspana’s gossip rags, especially those with an emphasis on royalty, targeted women of a certain age who had grown up alongside Beatriz, who felt empowered by her unprecedented reign, and who saw themselves as equivalent matriarchs in their own communities. They were gatekeepers. They dispensed advice. They protected order, tradition, and the future itself. In all gossip, they found tools to aid their missions, whether it was identifying local problems or raising new national specters to be exercised from their communities. On a baser level, one that was just as real for Beatriz, witnessing other people’s private messes spilled in public gave them an enjoyable reprieve from cleaning up those that were their responsibilities. 

Arnaut nodded. “But ... This is a problem, Martin. It looks terrible for all of us, and Leonor is—she’s official, not someone on the sidelines.”

To Arnaut’s surprise, this elicited a knowing smirk from Martin. He nodded and said, “That’s right. Think about it, okay? I know this isn’t your strong suit, but there’s a logic here. It’s a simple idea. Give someone enough rope, and they’ll hang themselves, eh?” Martin mimed the tug of a noose, sticking his tongue out. Arnaut winced as he asked, “Does that ring a bell?”

It did, but it wasn’t clarifying. Arnaut frowned. “I don’t ... Why would that be helpful?” 

Martin shrugged. “Mama’s from the old way. Competition? Neutralize it.”

“What?” Realization dawned on Arnaut as Martin sat staring at him, pleased with himself, and he struggled to beat it back. It was the kind of awareness he didn’t want to have, that would be a burden on his heart, but Martin was determined he have it. 

“What? What!” Martin laughed, mocking, before concluding, “It makes you look better. If our little niece is out ruining herself, less people are going to be daydreaming about the alternate universe where she does a Beatriz and—”

Arnaut held up his hands. “Alright, I get it. That’s horrible.”

“That’s Mama,” Martin quipped. “But, you know—”  

Perhaps as no coincidence, Lorraine and German appeared in the doorway behind Martin’s shoulder. She offered a greeting, and Martin waved before picking up his paper again. The conversation was over. Arnaut looked up at her with gratitude in his eyes, and German leapt over on cue with a large kite in his hands. 

“Can we go?” he asked, looking briefly at his uncle before tugging Arnaut’s hand. “The wind is perfect, and Julian is saying I don’t have the right ‘energy’ for flying kites. I don’t even know what that means. They’re not alive, are they?” 

Arnaut chuckled and stood up. “Let’s go find out, huh?”

TRANSCRIPT:

[Crowd clamoring]

ARNAUT | I thought we weren’t reading the news here. MARTIN | Not really news, is it? ARNAUT | Did you see this? MARTIN | Obviously. These aren't here to be decorative.

ARNAUT | Is that it? You don’t—what, really, no thoughts? It’s shocking, isn’t it? Does anyone know—they do, they must, but what are we doing? MARTIN | We're not doing anything. ARNAUT | Aren't you concerned? MARTIN | It's a little dramatic, huh?

ARNAUT | Is it? "Princess L’s Big Plunge—Almost," "'Wanted to End It All,' Friend Says," "Drug-Induced Psychosis? Our Expert Speaks on Page 3—”

ARNAUT | [huffs] I mean, look! MARTIN | You see her all the time, don't you? Either you can't be that surprised or it's all nonsense. You tell me.

ARNAUT | Maybe she's fine. You know, she looks thinner, but she seems better? I suppose it seemed inappropriate to comment on that kind of thing—everyone else does, so why would I? Someone would say, if she wasn’t healthy. And, she’s there, she’s present, except for when she’s literally not there, which, frankly, is often, but— [Martin snickers]

ARNAUT | Even if she’s not actually—uh, what would you say? MARTIN | A drug addict?

ARNAUT | Right, okay. Even if she's not doing that badly, then … She's going to get in trouble for this. I haven't talked to Mama lately, but—

MARTIN | Oh. You don't get it, do you? ARNAUT | What? Don't be an asshole.

MARTIN | Look, it's a mistake to think that this isn't … part of the plan. ARNAUT | Plan? MARTIN | You know Mama reads the tabloids every day. She’s worse than anyone. I think she likes getting mad, or maybe she just likes the gossip that much—Anyway, she knows what’s going on. Absolutely. I guarantee she knew about this story before either of us did.

ARNAUT | But … This is a problem, Martin. It looks terrible for all of us, and Leonor is—she’s official, not someone on the sidelines.

MARTIN | That’s right. Think about it, okay? I know this isn’t your strong suit, but there’s a logic here. It’s a simple idea. Give someone enough rope, and they’ll hang themselves, eh? Does that ring a bell?

ARNAUT | I don't … Why would that be helpful? MARTIN | Mama's from the old way. Competition? Neutralize it. ARNAUT | What? MARTIN | “What? What!” [laughs] It makes you look better. If our little niece is out ruining herself, less people are going to be daydreaming about the alternate universe where she does a Beatriz and—

ARNAUT | I don't … Alright, I get it. That's horrible.

MARTIN | That's Mama. But, you know—

[mapis-putellas]

What we left behind.

Pairings: Natasha x you

Words: 2053

Warnings: talk of death. Vormir. Guns

Summary: Natasha was gone. At least, that's what you'd been told. She’d sacrificed herself; died to save everyone else, to bring back her family. If that was really the case, then who was at your front door?

The familiar sensation of a tear streaming down the side of your face breaks you from your thoughts as you stare up at the whirring blades of the fan. The wetness tickles your skin, but you couldn’t quite find it in you to wipe it away.

It had been nearly six months now since you’d lost your girlfriend, and that same old numbness still remains. It sits heavily on your chest like a blanket, except, this blanket wasn’t at all comforting. It was suffocating; restricting every single movement you make like a straight jacket.

The only thing you seem to know how to do anymore is cry, and even then they were pitiful tears, barely enough to warrant actual cries. It was almost as though you’d cried so much that all of your tears had simply run out. You’d all dried up.

Your eyes flicker almost subconsciously around the room. The only light came from a slit between the curtains at the window, the feeble brightness barely enough for you to make out anything other than the fine dust littering every surface. The sight of it brings you back to the last time you’d cleaned. It was over five months ago low, the day Natasha was supposed to come home.

Through the blip, neither you or Natasha had managed to find it in you to really keep your shared apartment tidy. You didn’t see the point, and Natasha just simply didn’t have the time. She was too busy with being team leader to what was left of the avengers.

But that had all changed when the plan of her going to vormir with Clint was put into action. She’d bring Yelena back with her, her mom and dad, and you’d share the first dinner in over five years with your girlfriend and family.

But then Clint had arrived back alone with the soul stone in hand, and a deep sense of unease had held you rigid until he’d shaken his head telling you she wasn’t coming back. That was when your whole world had fallen apart right in front of you.

You remember not being able to breath. You remember crying so hard you had physically made yourself sick. You remember the arms that had tried to wrap around you, and you remembered pushing them away in disgust. They weren’t Natasha’s arms. They weren’t allowed to touch you.

You remember leaving the compound and making your way back home to the empty, clean apartment you’d spent so long making perfect for her.

You remember the feeling of dread that had settled unceremoniously into your stomach. It remains there to this day as a constant reminder of what you’d lost. You remember everything about that day so vividly you want to erase it from your mind forever.

But you couldn’t.

Natasha was gone. She’d made her choice, and now you had to find a way to live with it no matter how badly it hurt to try.

*

And try you did. You woke up everyday despite never wanting to be conscious again. You went to work and pretended like seeing everyone was a blessing when in actual fact they brought you pain. You even managed to befriend Yelena, one of the hardest things you’d ever had to do.

She was a constant reminder of Natasha, and it was hard to differentiate the two in your deep stage of grief. You were sure you weren’t easy to be around for her either, but together you somehow managed to level one another out. It wasn’t perfect, and most days you fought like cats and dogs, but you were all each other had so you’d learnt to make it work.

It was on a normal Tuesday did all of that change.

There was a knock at your front door, the strength behind it both hesitant and wary. That, and the fact you weren’t expecting anyone raises the fine hairs on the back of her neck, and as grab your gun from it’s place in the locked drawer, you try your best to shake of the fear that had suddenly begun to run though you. Safety off and finger on the trigger, you reach forward and grasp the door handle before cautiously pulling open the door.

Absolutely nothing could have prepared you for the sight that greets you on the other side. You stand there, body rigid; trembling in complete and utter terror as your eyes burn with the familiar sensation of tears. It was her face. Her hair. Her clothes, her body. But it couldn’t be. She was dead. She died.

This wasn’t her, no matter how badly you wanted it to be.

An immediate feeling of dread creeps up from the pit of your stomach, and your pulse beats in your ears so loudly it blocks out all other sound. You go to raise your gun; because how dare this person torture you by pretending to be the love of your life -but raised hands promptly stop you in your tracks. You look at her, eyes wet with unshed tears desperate to fall.

She eyes you cautiously as she takes a small step closer, hands still either side of her head. “It’s me.” She seems to desperately plead, and at the sound of her voice, you feel the tightness in your throat grow a tenfold. It was her voice. This person had her voice too.

You try to say something; anything, but when you open your mouth, you come to find that even words had deserted you. It leaves you to release a choked sob despite your best efforts to stifle it, and you press your lips together in a futile attempt to prevent another from escaping as you tighten your grasp around the gun.

Your hands were noticeably trembling and unsteady, but the implication was there. You weren’t afraid to pull the trigger, and this person had to know that.

“P-prove it.” You somehow manage to choke out, and she nods, her throat bobbing as she looks away for just a second before speaking. You hate that your stomach clenches at the sight of the tears in her eyes.

Natasha used to show her emotions so rarely that each time she even came close to shedding a tear it would break your heart.

“We met just after my defection to shield. We didn’t like each other at first, because you thought I was too stubborn and hardheaded and I thought you were a self centred know it all.” She starts, and you hate the hope that begins to build in your stomach.

You were forced to remind yourself that this wasn’t hidden information. If you were around back then, you would know that Natasha and yourself never used to get along.

She seems to know this, because after a short moment, she continues. “You hate chocolate. The one time I got it for you for Valentine’s Day you waited until I was out of sight to give it to Peter. You hate the movie Up because it makes you cry. My sweater, the black one with the zip is your favourite because it’s oversized and smells like me. You…you used to wear it when I went on missions because it made you feel close. You used to sleep on my side of the bed when I wasn’t there because my pillow smells like my perfume,” she chuckles slightly as she uses one of her raised hands to wipe away the single tear that manages to spill down her cheek.

By now, you could feel your guard beginning to drop. Nobody knew this stuff. Nobody but Natasha. But it couldn’t be her. She was gone. It was a soul for a soul and she was the sacrifice. There was no other choice. She was dead. She was gone…wasn’t she?

“You think coffee is gross,” she continues, seemingly under the impression that you still weren’t convinced. “But you still kiss me even when I drink it. You call it the ultimate sacrifice.” At that part, your lips quirk up at the corners. It was an inside joke when you’d first gotten together. She’d make fun if you for not liking coffee and you’d kiss her just to shut her up.

“It’s our five year anniversary in two months. I was going to propose. I bought the ring and it’s in my underwear drawer underneath my socks. I wanted to spent the rest of my life with you, but then thanos…”

You drop the gun to the floor with a loud clatter and all but throw yourself against her body. Hesitant arms move from their raised position to settle gently around your waist, and you feel the tip of her cold nose nudge against the skin of your neck as she pulls you close to her.

“It’s you,” you choke out as you tightly fist the material of her jacket in your hands. You feel her nod against you, her hands fighting to grab purchase of any part of your body they could. She was shaking almost violently in your hold, whether that be from the cold or something else entirely. It forces you to tighten your grip around her, your hand rising to cup the back of her head.

“It’s me.” She whispers, voice trembling with emotion, “it’s me.”

*

You don’t know how long you remain in the threshold of the front door holding on to one another. It could have been seconds. Minutes. Hours. All you knew is that you never wanted to let go.

You never thought you’d get to hold her again. Feel the weight of her body in your arms and take in her intoxicating smell that had once brought you so much comfort. She was everything and you wanted to remain in this moment, right here, right now, for the rest of your life.

“Let’s…” you swallow heavily as you reluctantly pull her away from you and bring your hands up to cup her cheeks. Your thumb trails softly over the skin; just as soft as you remembered despite the tears staining it. “Let’s go inside, okay?” You whisper with a tender smile, and Natasha nods as she gently grasps your wrists in her hands.

Her wary eyes flicker down to your lips, and your smile becomes a little more genuine as you lean forward and place them tenderly against her own. They were warm, and soft; a feeling you’d missed dearly.

She gasps softly at the sensation of your lips against her own as her hands move from your wrists and down your back until they come to rest on either side of your waist. Her touch litters your skin with goosebumps, the caress of her hands on you for the first time in months an indescribable feeling.

Her bottom lip slots perfectly in between your own, an action that lingers as you trace the tip of your thumb over her jawline before reluctantly pulling away and resting her forehead against her own.

Her soft breath hits your lips as she clings to the shirt either side of your waist, and you feel your eyes fill with tears all over again as you pull her body into your own before closing the door behind her. Now that you were encased in the privacy of your own home, you watch as Natasha finally allows herself to break.

It starts off small. Quiet, hitched breaths as her unfocused eyes fill with tears. But then slowly, gradually, it gets bigger. Her chest heaves, her breathing intensifies, and she lets out a loud, unstifled sob as she falls defeatedly into your arms. Your own bottom lip trembles as you pull her body flush against your own, hands slipping beneath her jacket to desperately clutch at her shirt.

You were desperate to feel her skin against your own.

“It’s okay. I’ve got you. You’re okay.” You attempt to sooth, knowing no words would ever be good enough but desperate to try. “You’re back. You’re safe, and I love you. More than you could ever imagine.”

**

Part 2?

@goldenempyrean @mywitchy-assassin @romanoffsbish

[aria-greenhoodie]

Yknow I was mentioning “A World Without Wordgirl” earlier to my boyfriend and it’s honestly such a fucked up episode if you think about its implications for more than like, 2 seconds.

Like, Becky Botsford aka Wordgirl is 10 YEARS OLD and she has to CONSTANTLY leave behind her friends and family and miss out on fun, normal kid activities to take care of some mess a (usually grown-ass) villain made. We see this happen in plenty of other episodes, but “A World Without Wordgirl” makes it even more obvious.

It’s this kid’s BIRTHDAY, and her parents decided to go all out for her. They brought her best friends, got her a bouncy castle, got her ponies to ride, did all these really sweet and amazing things for their daughter, but she didn’t get to enjoy ANY of it because she kept having to zoom off and fight crime as Wordgirl. She’s just a KID! She is a 5th grader for goodness sake, she shouldn’t be sacrificing her BIRTHDAY, the single most exciting and highly-anticipated day of the year for a kid, to clean up after criminals that the local law enforcement couldn’t handle. And she isn’t forced to interrupt her party once, no, she’s forced to interrupt her own fun SEVERAL TIMES to the point that every single nice thing her parents did for her she misses, doesn’t get to enjoy any of it. So of course, she’s so fed-up by the end of the day, so tired of having to pick up after everyone, she makes the wish that she wasn’t Wordgirl, and that Wordgirl never existed… just like ANY EXASPERATED 10 YEAR OLD MAY DO IF THEY WERE IN HER SITUATION!

And what is she given in response to her extremely understandable angst? SHE IS IMMEDIATELY SCARED STRAIGHT BY EVERYTHING AROUND HER FUNDAMENTALLY CHANGING DUE TO WORDGIRL BEING ERASED FROM EXISTENCE (courtesy of electrified magic birthday cake).

In the universe without her, CHUCK of all villains is running the city, allowing the other villains to run amok as well, under his rule (sans Twobrains). Becky is shown that if she DOESN’T continue to sacrifice every single nice thing that happens to her in order to clean up messes that ADULT LAW ENFORCEMENT SHOULD BE HANDLING, the city will fall to villainous hands. She’s shown that she HAS to be a savior, a protector, a hero above anything else. She’s not allowed to be a kid, she’s not allowed to have a carefree childhood and leave larger issues to the adults, she’s not allowed to enjoy herself without the anxiety of another crime taking place that she has to stop.

And you know, this would be bad enough if this was the only episode that touched on this, but it ISN’T. This type of shit has happened to her SO MANY TIMES. The people of Fair City are absolutely HELPLESS without her, a 10 YEAR OLD GIRL. she’s not allowed to be a kid for more than 5 seconds without hearing some alarm in the distance! Sure, she chose to be a super hero, but she made that choice when she was still VERY YOUNG, and even if it was her choice, it’s still completely unfair that her entire childhood is marred by constant interruptions from villains and constant anxiety in anticipation of the next crime, not to mention the physical danger she’s put in nearly every day by (again, usually GROWN-ASS) villains who hold no care for her well-being!

She doesn’t even have a trusted adult figure to really confide in, either. The only adult who knows her secret identity (as far as I’ve gotten in the show) is her grandfather, but he doesn’t live with the Botsfords and seems to be perfectly ok with his granddaughter throwing herself into dangerous situations for the sake of others. Sure, later in the show Scoops figures out her identity, and I’m pretty sure Violet does too (Haven’t gotten that far yet though), and while it’s great that she has peers to confide in after all this time, she still really needs an adult in her life who can shield her from some of the sacrifices she feels forced to make.

I know this is a kids show and her being frustrated with villain interruptions is usually played up for laughs, but as an adult watching the show I can’t help but feel kinda angry on her behalf at the adults around her if I think about it too hard. Yes, she’s capable and strong, but that doesn’t mean that the adults in her life shouldn’t be protecting her anyway. Has no adult in Fair City worried about Wordgirl, the 10-year-old heroine? Has none of the local law enforcement questioned why they keep letting a 5th grader do their jobs for them?? I guess it’s in-character of cops to be incompetent and selfish, that’s definitely realistic, but what about the other adults who know Wordgirl? Hell, Sally Botsford, Becky’s own MOM, has said she sees Wordgirl almost like a daughter, but she still has little to no problem with her constantly being the city’s only defense against crime both big and small. Sure, Kid Math is now able to help out, BUT HE’S JUST A KID TOO! And Becky/Wordgirl is still doing a LOT of the work! She’s never even had a proper mentor who knew of her superheroism. Her LAST hero-mentor was fucking MISS POWER, and we all know how that turned out.

This is why I’ve been writing a fic about Becky (and Tobey because I’m a sucker for Tobecky) 15 years after canon dealing with her mixed-up feelings about her childhood and her superheroism. It must be such an angering, terrifying feeling to grow up thinking that you can’t be allowed to be a KID, to have FUN for too long, because a villain might rob a bank, or steal an artifact, or turn the city into cheese, or WHATEVER. Imagine Becky as an adult, imagine the anger she must feel, and the guilt because of that anger. Someone give this kid a hug and a proper mentor figure. And some THERAPY.

[unforgivenyunjin]

There are a lot of headcanons surrounding Nesta and Nyx. Personally I don’t believe Nesta will play that big a role in Nyx’s life as everyone believes she will. ACOSF was supposed to be Nesta’s big healing journey - but her relationship with Feyre and Elain is still very rocky. Yeah, she said I love you to Feyre and sacrificed her powers (powers she didn’t even want btw - after months of simply not caring about Feyre’s potential death/miscarriage). And we can still see that there is tension between Nesta and Rhys. I don’t see Rhys or Feyre being comfortable with Nyx treating Nesta as a ‘second mom.’ Yeah, Feyre would probably encourage Nyx to spend some time with Nesta as Nesta is her sister and she clearly does love Nesta - but Nyx will likely be closer to Mor than any of Feyre’s actual blood related sisters.

And I don’t see Nesta wanting to be a big part of Feyre’s child’s life either. She didn’t want to take care of herself - relying on Feyre for years even tho she was more than capable of earning money and being independent… what makes people believe she wants to care for a child that’s not even her own?? And Nesta doesn’t even like children - didn’t she say she wanted to scare the children in ACOSF??

Honestly the essays people write on how Feyre will be an awful mom and Nesta will take care of Nyx and be a great mother figure is laughable - especially considering Nesta would frankly be a terrible mother. Even after her supposed healing journey, she still makes mean, callous comments to everyone around her (ex: her comment she made about Azriel’s mom) and plays the victim every time she gets called out. If she had a child, she would most definitely be overprotective to the extreme and controlling - like she was with Elain. If she had two children, she would also most definitely choose a golden child and a scapegoat. She would offer an over abundance of affection to one child while emotionally neglecting the other. Or she would simply leave all the emotional issues for Cassian to handle. It’s sad how her mother was so mean and cruel to her that Nesta basically turned into her abuser… and I get she’s supposed to have changed in ACOSF but it didn’t really seem that she changed all that much…

Yeah I don’t see Nesta being this “second mother” to Nyx either. Even at the end of Acosf neither she or Elain are included when the Inner Circle being protective of him was talked about. Mor was included, Azriel was included, and Cassian was included. Mor is also the one that’s going on walks with Feyre and Nyx when Rhys can’t. Not Nesta. If she was going to be this major person in his life who is super protective of him don’t you think she would be the one spending a lot of time with him and his mother? We have one scene of her holding him and that’s really it.

And going to your point about Nesta not having a good relationship with her sisters, I think that would also affect her relationship with Nyx. Rhys doesn’t trust her at all and Feyre is never shown to have this unconditional and unwavering trust in Nesta. When it comes down to who Feysand would both agree to leave their child alone with, it’s Mor. They both trust her, she’s maternal, and she can protect him. There would be no conflict about leaving Nyx with Mor but I don’t think the same would happen with Nesta.

And it’s true that she’s just not a maternal person. Even with the person she did want to protect above anything (Elain), she expressed that in toxic ways. She’s never had to look after anyone but herself and most times she fails to do even that. She constantly needs her baby sister to keep her on track so why would you think she’s capable of looking after an actual baby? Nesta is just not a child person and even with the love Feyre holds for her, I can’t see her leaving Nyx with Nesta for long periods of time. Nesta is 25/26 but mentally she still seems in her early teens and no one would leave their child with an impulsive teenager.

[lemmetreatya]

home for new years — husband!reiner x fem!reader

contents: fluff, sex, m!pen

happy new years to everyone!! last fic for the year but not the last from me! the last 4 months on here have been great and i cant wait to see what 2023 brings us! thank you to everyone whos supported me and my work so far i love u all MWAH! 🫶🏾🫶🏾

home for new years will have you declining invitations and calls from your friends who are asking both you and reiner to back the nye party sasha and niccolo are hosting.

“i’m sorry, sash! not this year. me and reiner already planned to just have a night in between the both of us.”

“but you can come and spend it together with us!” she’d whine into the receiver.

you could only chuckle at her. even though she may have come across as invasive or unregarding of the quality time you’ve decided to dedicate to spend with your spouse, you knew she came from a place of love.

sasha wasnt the only one. both of your respective messages were blowing up; relatives who lived in different countries already wishing you the new years well due to their forward timezones, friends asking about the motives and misc notifications.

none of them, however, were as adamant as reiner’s younger cousin.

“why cant i spend new years with you two?! if you’re only staying home then that means you’re not doing anything important.” gabi moaned.

“what we want to do is important enough that we dont need you around. we literally spent christmas eve, christmas day and even boxing day with you, isnt that enough?” your husband responded.

reiner was definitely tired of gabis back and forth notion that she practically needed to be in your hair on all seasonal events. even though he was too kind to say it to her face, he definitely made it known to you through the agitated expressions he occasionally made behind her back.

“no, it’s not enough! there’s no reason for you not to see me if you’re free.” she haggled.

reiner sighed loudly. you could tell that he was tapping out from the argument as from the way he rested his head against the sofa back.

seeing him no longer want to entertain his cousin, you decided to step in. with an easy smile, you replied to her instead.

“just because we’re staying home it doesn’t mean we’re free.”

she didn’t say anything but she definitely considered your argument a lot easier than she did reiner’s. reiner always said she listened to you better.

“if it makes for anything, we can spend new years day together?” you kindly offered.

gabi huffed as she crossed her arms over her chest and bounced herself onto the couch.

“that’s such a cheap excuse. no one does anything on new years. it’s a free holiday. you wouldn’t be sacrificing anything to be with me, you guys don’t even go nowhere. i am literally the only fun in your lives.”

even though you were surprised at her level of rebuttal, you couldn’t help but laugh aloud at the twelve year olds words. whilst you and reiner may not be the childless lavish-life living adults she wanted you to be, she still seemed to want to spend every waking moment with you both.

but alas, you and reiner were okay with that life for now because it meant you had room to spend new years at home.

you didn’t have to worry about childcare expenses or who was willing to have your kin on a holidays like this. you didn’t even have to worry about answering to anyone for anything. you both had the night to spend it within each other and that alone was the reason you were fine with how things were.

“i’m really happy we’re spending new years like this.”

reiner placed the last platter down onto the coffee, the look on his face giddy as sat down next to you.

“same. i feel like we don’t get to spend a lot of our holidays with it just being the two of us. it’s a nice change.” you replied, fingers already sneaking into one of the snacks.

reiner’s arms found solace over your shoulders, his warmth already seeping into you as you pressed play on the remote which started up the movie.

“we should deffo do it more often then.”

he said more quietly due to his awareness of the movie starting. still, looking down at you, reiner couldn’t help but plant a closed mouth kiss to your temple.

“deffo.” you agreed, your attention already captivated with the movie introduction.

there was no doubt; reiner would definitely treasure this new years.

throughout the year, the two of you were always so busy. if it wasn’t work then it was extra-curricular commitments and even in between those times, the both of you were deeply involved with the lives of your family and friends.

deciding to simply spend it with just the two of you was a well curated decision. really and truly, the both of you could have spared yourselves once again and indulged with the lives of others.

but deciding to chose each other just this once was the best decision you could have ever made.

“god, i love you so much.”

reiner endearingly muttered into your ears as he pumped himself in and out of you. the soft whimpers you poured out into his were just as sweet as your arms hooked around his neck.

“i-love you too, rei.” you breathed, the feeling of his dick stretching your insides so familiar yet estactic.

and oh how you did love this man because when he first offered for the both of you to ditch all new year plans just so he could spend it with you, in you, you couldn’t help but to allow him what he wished.

making love to reiner in the most enchanting low light and soft candle glow was such a way to go into the new years.

rough and lustful sex had its place and it was definitely one of your favourite past times with reiner. but there was none of that right now. there was no biting, rough handling, guttural or carnal intent, nothing.

just you and reiner underneath the blankets, vulnerable and opened for the other to indulge in.

and you loved that, because this, was how you wanted to spend new years. with reiner, and totally enamoured by him.

and just as the neighbouring fireworks bursted outside your bedroom window, and your phones simultaneously buzzed with texts, you couldn’t think of a better way to go into the next age but within his arms.

with the indication that you had been graced into a new year, the both of you wispily smiled into the others embrace.

reiner continued to chase his climax as he lightly kissed the top of your shoulder, his face then burying into the crook of your neck

“ha-happy new year, baby.” he said with a grin, his hands still working over your curves beneath the duvet.

“happy…new year to you too, rei.” you muttered back, your hands gently caressing the short bristled hairs on the back of his neck.

[fics-by-em]

Amorous Facades - Chapter Three

A wild night out leaves the lives of Jamie Tartt and Ophelia Adams more intertwined than they ever would have imagined.

Will their decision to try and use the situation to their advantage work out in their favour or will they realize that they should have cut their losses when they had the chance?

———-

note: This one is a little shorter than normal, but I have a feeling that the next one will be extra long so that should make up for it!

Thanks again to everyone who left a comment! I love to hear everyone's thoughts!

———-

previous chapter

———-

“Good morning!” The sound of her dad’s overly cheerful greeting as Lia walked into the back office of the  bookstore had her immediately regretting her decision not to stop for coffee on her way to work. “How’s my favourite newlywed?”

“Tired,” Lia admitted, thinking back to the night before. She’d slept soundly until Jamie joined her in bed almost two hours after she went to sleep, but she’d become incredibly restless once he was lying beside her. She wasn’t used to feeling someone next to her in bed and she was hyper aware of how much she moved or how close she got to him as she wanted to respect his space and not make him uncomfortable. “It’s been kind of a hectic weekend.”

“Ah, well, weddings are known to be rather exhausting.” The comment was said with an air of teasing and Lia rolled her eyes despite the smile on her face as her dad pushed for more information. “So, do you care to elaborate?”

Lia nodded slowly as she hung her things on the coat rack in the corner, buying herself some time to think about where to start as she pulled her sweater over her head. 

Despite the many hours she spent lying awake the night before with nothing to do but think of how to spin the situation, she hadn’t come up with any way to explain it that made it sound less crazy than it really was and she didn’t want her dad to worry. She’d started to finally wrap her mind around things - she’d determined that Jamie seemed like someone who was mostly just misunderstood and simply needed a little love and support to reach his full potential and she was starting to feel more intrigued about how things would play out instead of just being stricken by anxiety at the endless possibilities - but she knew that convincing people that it was at all sensible to pretend to be married to a football star to change his reputation would be a hard sell. It was hard to make it seem like it was mutually advantageous instead of just her being taken advantage of - especially when she was talking to her father because if he knew what she’d asked for in the arrangement he would be racked with guilt and assume she was sacrificing herself for his business.

And while in some ways that was true, she was happy to do it. It had been just the two of them her whole life. Her mum had died from complications related to her birth and instead of crumbling in his grief or harbouring any resentment, he’d worked hard and made plenty of sacrifices to keep her happy and fed with a roof over her head. If her little scheme with Jamie could help him out even a little bit then she felt it was worth it.

“Jamie is my boyfriend,” she informed him after gathering her thoughts. “We’ve been together for a few months now, but we decided to keep it quiet because he’s a footballer and people are nosy.”

“That’s understandable,” her dad agreed. “But why do I have to tell people that you’re married if they ask?” 

“Because AFC Richmond’s marketing team thought that it would be a good idea. The pictures in that article you saw were just us being silly after a few drinks, but they thought leaning into the image of being a happily married man might help people see that there’s more to Jamie than some people think.”

She’d left out the part about it being Jamie’s idea in an effort to prevent her father from wrongly assuming that he was manipulating her, but her father was smart and knew her well enough for his suspicions to be rising nonetheless.

“And why does your boyfriend need his reputation saved so badly?”

“Because he made some questionable choices in his life, but he’s not a bad person,” she assured him. “He’s trying to make amends and he’s working on himself.”

“Well, I guess that’s all we can ask of anyone,” her father mused. “He treats you well?”

“Very well. He’s respectful and kind and he makes me laugh,” Lia smiled, realizing that so far nothing she’d said was a lie before she added a slight exaggeration for effect. “I really care about him.”

Her father watched her closely - as if scanning her face for any hint of a reason to be concerned - but she was relieved when he eventually relaxed.

“Then I’m happy for you,” he decided. “And I’d love to meet my new son-in-law at the earliest convenient time.”

“I’m sure he’d like to meet you too,” Lia lied, knowing that spending an evening pretending to be her boyfriend to win over her dad was probably low on the list of things Jamie would find exciting. “I know he’s busy with training and matches at the moment, but we can try to find a time soon.”

“Great!” 

Her father flashed her a smile, but there was something in his expression that had her own suspicions rising. He knew her better than anyone and the cheeky twinkle in his eye had her doubting just how convincing she had been so she made a mental note to put off organizing a dinner with him and Jamie for as long as possible. He would find far too much joy in watching them squirm if he had any kind of a hunch about the game they were playing.

“Did the order come in last night?” She asked, changing the subject and waiting for him to nod before she continued. “Do you mind if I stay in the back today and sort it all out? I don’t know how nosy football fans can be, but I’d rather lay low for a few days in case anyone starts snooping around.”

It wasn’t an unusual request as they usually took turns checking over the inventory and restocking the shelves and Lia was glad when her dad agreed without any fuss before taking the cash tray out of the office to set up the till and unlock the door for the day.

——

It was almost twelve hours later when Lia finally found herself walking back up the driveway towards the house she now shared with Jamie.

To her relief, her father had assured her that there had been no one poking around or asking questions about her, but the order that she’d volunteered to put away was larger than she’d anticipated and took longer to organize. Her father had offered to stay after closing to help her, but he looked exhausted from handling things alone while she’d had the weekend off so she’d sent him home and finished up by herself. 

The lateness of the hour meant that Jamie’s car was already parked beside the front door and she was surprised by the twinge of excitement that she felt knowing that he was already home. But she was even more surprised by the silence she was met with when she opened the front door.

“Jamie!” She called out, briefly wondering if he’d simply parked his car before going out with his friends. “Are you home?”

“Up here!”

The reply came from upstairs and Lia hesitated as she weighed up her options. She didn’t want to intrude on whatever he was doing as his simple reply hadn’t really been an invitation to join him, but there was something pulling her to investigate and see what he was up to.

And when she walked into their bedroom to see him digging through her suitcase, she was very glad that she’d followed her gut.

“What are you doing?”

She could hear the shock and dread in her voice as she froze in the doorway, but there was no trace of guilt on Jamie’s face as he lifted his head to look at her.

“Why do you have so many cardigans? I’ve never seen anyone who isn’t ninety years old own this many cardigans.”

To emphasize his claim he lifted up an armful of her things before letting the many cardigans he’d been holding fall one by one back into her suitcase. She had to admit that she’d acquired quite a collection, but her cheeks heated up at the critique of her sense of style.

“They’re cozy,” she protested. “And they’re coming back in style!”

“Not ones like this though, are they?”

She wanted to argue and offer more defense of her choices, but the teasing hint to his voice told her that she would be fighting a losing battle.

“Why are you going through my stuff?”

“I cleared out some space in the closet for you,” he explained. “So I thought I’d do the gentlemanly thing and help you unpack.”

“You thought it would be gentlemanly to go through my stuff?” Lia questioned, her tone portraying just how skeptical that claim made her. “Thanks, but no thanks. I appreciate the effort, but I can do it myself.”

“Why? You got stuff in here you’d be embarrassed for me to see?” The smirk and the wink that accompanied his words had her blushing even deeper. She’d been single for quite a while so she had brought a few particularly personal items with her, but she felt slightly more at ease when she recalled that she hadn’t packed them in the suitcase that Jamie was currently rifling through. However, her humiliation quickly returned as he held up one of her bras with a look of horror on his face. “What the fuck is this supposed to be?”

“It’s a bra!” Lia informed him, stating the obvious as she stormed across the room to snatch it out of his hand. “I would’ve thought with all your sexual accomplishments that you’d know what they look like.”

“Whatever that is, it’s not a bra,” Jamie insisted, pointing at the beige garment in her hand with his eyebrows raised as if Lia had lost her mind. “Bras are supposed to be black or red or sexy colours with lace and fancy shit on them.”

“Not all bras,” she argued, wondering why she felt the need to justify her underwear choices to him. “Bras like that aren’t particularly comfortable, bras like this are better for normal everyday life.”

“That’s the most depressing thing I’ve ever heard.” The way Jamie managed to keep his face straight had her rolling her eyes at his dramatics, but he was undeterred. “Were you wearing this the other night? Is that why I never even got my pants off?”

“No! I was wearing one of my nicer ones,” Lia informed her, her indignance clear as her annoyance grew. “I would think it’s safe to assume that the reason your pants stayed on was because I came to my senses and remembered that I’m far too smart to sleep with someone I just met.”

“Ah, but not smart enough not to get married to someone you just met?”

His very valid counterpoint had Lia falling into a stunned silence until a scoff fell from her lips.

“Piss off, Jamie.”

It was a mumbled and weak comeback, but when it earned a bark of laughter from her tormentor, she couldn’t help but crack a smile.

“I’m just sayin’,” Jamie continued his teasing. “You never know when someone’s gonna be seeing your underwear, it pays to be prepared.”

“Actually, I usually do know when someone will be seeing my underwear,” Lia insisted. “Because it’s not very often that I find men just rummaging through my things.”

“Yeah, but we’re married,” Jamie smirked. “I’m allowed.”

He tried to swipe the bra back out of Lia’s hands, but she quickly moved it out of his reach.

“No, you’re not, but nice try.”

With a chuckle, Jamie flopped on the bed and Lia let the bra she was holding fall back into the suitcase before taking over the job that Jamie had been doing. Catching him going through her things had broken the ice when she’d first arrived, but she felt the edge of uncertainty creep back in as he quietly watched her hanging up her clothes in his closet. It felt strange - taking up so much space and encroaching on his territory - but she was grateful that he’d taken the initiative to make her room for her without her having to ask as she was starting to wonder if she’d be living out of a suitcase for the foreseeable future.

“So, how was training today?”

Assuming that it was a fairly harmless question, Lia had simply hoped to break the silence that had settled between them, but as her words pulled a huff from Jamie, she realized she might have misjudged.

“Pretty shit if I’m being honest,” Jamie admitted, picking at a thread on the cover of his duvet. “Frustraing as fuck.”

“Oh,” Lia frowned. “Why’s that?”

“Roy Kent won’t train me,” he grumbled. “He’s got plenty to say to the other lads, but he refuses to give me any advice.”

Another ‘oh’ fell from Lia’s lips as she tried to think of a way to phrase the question she wanted to ask that wouldn’t get Jamie’s back up. After Katie’s parting shot when she was leaving their flat, she’d done her own research and had been looking for a way to bring up the information that she’d found, but she was worried that doing it now would be a bit like kicking him when he was down. Her suspicion seemed like a good hunch though so in the end she found the courage to voice it.

“Does it have anything to do with the fact that he’s dating your ex-girlfriend?”

Jamie’s eyes snapped up to meet hers.

“You know about that?”

“Yeah,” Lia nodded. “Katie told me when I left our flat yesterday.”

“Oh, well, no. I don’t think that has anything to do with it,” he informed her. “If anyone should be mad about that it’s me. I genuinely don’t know what his problem is, but I think he’s just a grumpy old prick.”

Despite the disdain in his voice, Lia bit back a smile as the pouty look on Jamie’s face reminded her of a little boy sulking about being picked on by a teacher that he didn’t like.

“Well, maybe he’d be a little nicer to you if you stopped calling him old all the time.”

“He is old,” Jamie insisted. “I’m just stating a fact. He’s well past his prime, but he thinks that everyone should bow down to him just because he used to be great.”

“Have you tried talking to him about it?”

She tried to keep the suggestion as gentle as possible, but it only earned a scoff from Jamie.

“He won’t listen to me,” he dismissed her. “He’s never liked me. He thinks I’m selfish and arrogant and he refuses to believe that I’m trying to be better.”

“That’s frustrating,” Lia sympathized. “Do you have other coaches? Could they help you?”

Her lack of football knowledge shined through in the potentially silly question, but Jamie didn’t call her out on it.

“We have three other coaches,” he informed her. “But I don’t know if they’d be willing to stick their necks out to help me anymore than they already have by letting me back on the team.”

“You never know unless you ask,” Lia shrugged. “Or you’ll just have to win Roy over slowly and hope that he grows to love your boyish charm.”

As she’d hoped, her teasing comment had a smirk sliding back onto his face despite his sour mood.

“You think I’m charming, do you?”

“Oh, please,” Lia smiled as she rolled her eyes. “I think you know that you are.”

“Yeah, but it’s always nice to hear it from a fan.”

“A fan?” Lia barked out a laugh. “That’s a big assumption. I’m just tolerating you because of our arrangement.”

“I don’t buy it,” Jamie insisted, his smirk still firmly in place. “I think you like me, that’s why you agreed to it so fast. I thought it would take days to convince you, but you jumped at the chance.”

“Because it’s mutually beneficial,” she reminded him. “It’s just business.”

“Or,” Jamie countered. “You think I’m sexy and couldn’t wait to get back into my bed.”

Another laugh fell from Lia’s lips as she shook her head at his arrogance.

“You really are a cocky prick,” she told him, even though they could both hear the way the words were meant to be more affectionate than they were derogatory. “If you think back to last night you’ll remember that I actually really didn’t want to get back into your bed and was hoping to have one of my own.”

“It was all an act, I bet,” Jamie mused. “I saw right through it, you just didn’t want to admit how bad you want me.”

“It sounds like you’ve had a rough day so if you need to believe that to soothe your bruised ego then you can go right ahead, but I think we both know the truth.”

“Yeah, truth is that you’re pretty much in love with me.” It was such a clear exaggeration that Lia didn’t even bother to comment as she reflected on how little awkwardness there was between them. Another silence settled in the room as she continued putting away her clothes, but considering they’d only known each other for about forty-eight hours, it was amazing how easily their conversation flowed and how natural their teasing banter felt. There was something about Jamie that helped her shake off her usually shy nature and she was starting to think she might gain more from their arrangement than she originally thought. She was lost in her contemplations when Jamie spoke again. “So, have you heard from your friend today? The one who’s mad at you?”

Just the thought of the current messy situation with Katie had Lia’s heart sinking and she shook her head.

“No,” she sighed. “And I probably won’t until I reach out to her. I doubt that she thinks she’s at all to blame for our disagreement so it’ll be up to me to make amends.”

“And are you going to?”

“Not right now.” It had been something that Lia had been mulling over all day, but that was the decision she’d finally come to. “I’m still hurt about how she handled things yesterday and that she didn’t believe what I told her about Daniel. I have no reason to make it up and I’m not the kind of person who would lie about something like that. If she doesn’t know that then that makes me rethink our friendship.”

It was a heavy thing to accept and Lia wasn’t quite ready to write Katie off completely, but she wasn’t going to run straight back to her either. She wanted friends she could rely on and friends she could trust and it hurt that her best friend no longer seemed to meet that criteria.

“I don’t blame you, she sounds like a right nightmare,” Jamie scoffed and while Lia’s instinct was to defend her friend, she was currently inclined to agree and simply shrugged as Jamie’s eyes lit up with an idea. “We have a match in a few days, you should come. Keeley can show you the ropes and keep you company, she’s always making friends.”

Going to a football match had never really been Lia’s idea of a good time, but she figured that as Jamie Tartt’s wife her presence would probably be expected and she was touched that he seemed eager to help her with her troubled social life.

“That would be really fun,” she smiled before another thought hit her. “Can you get me one of your shirts? As your wife, I should probably make sure I’m showing my support.”

Jamie seemed slightly taken aback by her request before a smile of his own slid onto his face as he assured her that he would take care of it and Lia realized that for the first time in her life, she was feeling rather excited about something to do with sports.

——

The first thing Lia noticed when she woke up the next morning was how hard her pillow felt.

She’d been amazed by the plush, luxurious comfort that Jamie’s pillows had offered so the contrast of the stiffness under her cheek was particularly notable. 

The more alert she became as she shook off the sleepiness clouding her mind, the more confused she was as she realized her arm and her leg were draped over something as well. She lazily nuzzled closer in an attempt to puzzle out exactly what she was cuddling, but it wasn’t until she noticed the increasingly familiar scent of Jamie Tartt that she realized what was happening.

Her eyes snapped open and she froze as she confirmed her fear: she was laying on her side, wrapped around Jamie’s body with her head resting on his chest.

He was still and quiet and Lia silently hoped that he was still asleep so she’d be able to slip away before he noticed how she was clinging to him, but his raspy morning voice crushed that dream as quickly as it had appeared.

“I guess it’s not ‘just business’ after all.”

The amusement was clear in his voice and Lia pulled herself away from him.

“It doesn’t mean anything,” she insisted, despite the way her cheeks heated up. “I must’ve just been cold.”

“It’s May, it was eighteen degrees yesterday.”

“Well, it still gets cold at night.”

“And I’m just so hot that you couldn’t resist sneaking in a little cuddle.”

“That is not what happened,” she argued, climbing out of bed to put as much distance between them as she could. “I can’t control what I do when I’m asleep.”

“Sounds like the perfect excuse to get your hands all over my body.”

Lia’s jaw dropped at that accusation, but she figured that any further protests would just result in more teasing. So, with an indignant scoff, she hurried off to the bathroom with the sounds of Jamie’s amused chuckles echoing around her as she tried to forget about how nice it felt to be pressed up against him.

----

chapter four

[endlesslystarlitskies]

Lost and Found- Part 1

A/N: Okay, here is the official first chapter, edited and extended. I am still playing the game so I don’t know how long it will be until the next chapters come out, but hopefully it will be soon. I am going to try to have each chapter follow the chapters in the game, but this one is already pretty long, so I don’t know how that will work out. Do you guys like long chapters, or no? Just let me know. And please give me all the constructive criticisms! Especially with how I am portraying Leon. I am trying to be accurate but I may be slipping up. If so, just let me know.  I will continue to leave physical characteristics out of it so you can put yourself in Ella’s shoes, though it is She/Her pronouns. I just don’t like the way Y/N looks in a story, so hopefully that works for you guys. If enough people request it, I might change it. I don’t know. I want everyone to be able to read it.  Pairing: Leon Kennedy x Named Reader (Named but not Described) Genre: Horror, action, adventure, Slow-Burn, Romance Summary: Ella was one of the missing hikers who was kidnapped by the villagers. She narrowly escaped being sacrificed, but her friends weren’t so lucky. Managing to survive out in the woods with her previous skills and knowledge, she runs into Leon, and that meeting begins the longest, most dangerous adventure of her life as she tries to help him save the girl she saw being taken into the church. What will happen along the way? Only one way to find out.  Warnings: Canon typical violence and gore, suicidal ideations mentioned, Ella has little regard for her own life and is dealing with the loss of someone closest to her while also fighting to survive with waning self-preservation instincts. Please be cautious if that triggers you.  Word Count: 6,812

Story Masterlist

 xXx

It was quiet, the sun high in the sky as the farm animals calmly picked at the limited food around them without a care in the world. It appeared to be a normal day, with a couple of villagers going about their business tending to the area, and at first glance, one would assume that everything was as it should be; however, after spending four days running and hiding in the woods, Ella knew better. 

She crouched behind the old, worn down wooden shelter, peeking around the corner to get a look at the villager who had his back to her, his focus on the object in his hands which gave Ella an opening to sneak up behind him. 

Her heart was beginning to race in her chest, and Ella had to take a deep breath to calm her nerves as she readied to put herself in another dangerous situation.  She really did not want to risk going into this small settlement of the village, and if it weren’t for the fact that she was starving, she would still be in the woods where there was a significantly lower chance of engaging with anyone, but she would never make it out of this hell if she didn’t keep her strength up as much as possible. The mint leaves, dandelions, and few other edible plants she found weren’t cutting it anymore.

Fortunately, Ella could see that there weren’t many villagers around from the woods, only noticing the one in her view and another woman behind the barn, who wouldn’t be able to see her take out the man. 

Gripping the rusty kitchen knife tightly in her hand, she began to slowly stalk forward, keeping low as to not be noticeable. Her combat boots made it hard to keep her foot falls quiet, but she had gotten used to walking lightly over the past few days, as she had been doing a lot of sneaking around, and she was to the point that her steps made virtually no sound. 

Because of this, the villager was none the wiser, and as she neared the front of the building, she looked around to make sure there was no one else. She could see the slightest movement of a pitchfork that she knew was the woman she had already accounted for, but otherwise, it was clear. 

Moving forward once more, she did her best to not disturb the animals that spilled out of the barn, lest she startle them and give herself away, and she managed to sneak up right behind the male villager, keeping her breathing quiet as she assessed her best move. He was a bit taller than her, but she would have to work around that, it being far too late for her to turn back now.

She had enough knowledge to know where the jugular was, and with a quickness she had gathered over the course of the last few days, she stood up straight, jabbing the knife deep into his neck and moving her hand around to cover his mouth to keep him quiet. He flailed lightly, but his body began to drop, and Ella did her best to help him fall quietly. However, grown men were heavy, and she stumbled back, falling on her ass as the man’s body thumped to the ground. She grimaced, looking behind her and praying the other villager behind the barn hadn’t heard anything. She was met with silence, and after a few moments, Ella determined the coast to be clear. 

She looked to the dead villager in front of her, doing her best to ignore the twist of her heart at the sight of his wide, lifeless eyes; blood still spilling out of his neck and seeping into the dirt below him. This was the third person she had to kill since coming on this trip. Beforehand, she had never even punched another person outside of her defense classes, Ella being a pacifist for the most part. She knew these people were infected with something that made them violent and homicidal, and they wouldn’t even bat an eyelash while gutting her, but that didn’t change the fact that Ella was killing other human beings. 

It was a fact she couldn’t dwell on if she wanted to survive and escape the this place, turning away from the dead man and pushing him from her mind. She couldn’t stay in one place for too long, and she still had to clear the small barn area, or she risked being caught as she tried to cook her meal. 

Getting up, she dusted her torn and dirtied tights off as much as she could, before wiping the bloodied blade of her deteriorating knife on the dead villagers clothes, her eyes purposefully avoiding his face. She would have to find another one soon, the one in her hand visibly about to break. 

She straightened her back, turning around and beginning to slowly walk forward to gain a better view from behind the barn to where the other villager had been. As she got closer and closer, she saw the hay, but not the pitchfork, her brows furrowing. They must have left, but then where did they go? Ella stopped, her eyes widening as she took in the limp body of the female villager, questioning what had happened and if the woman had just died suddenly. 

Ella supposed it was possible considering the infection, but she hadn’t seen them just keel over before; however, what was the alternative? Was there someone else here? 

The very thought made her heart pound. She had just adjusted to the villagers and the large man in the hat and robe walking about. What else could there be? 

It was then that Ella heard the slightest sound of movement behind her, the hair on the back of her neck standing as panic rose within her. Every possibility ran through her mind in a single second, her fight instincts kicking in as she spun around, ready to do whatever she had to to defend herself. However, what was behind her made her heart stop and her mind reel. 

A gun was pointed at her, the man behind it giving her a suspicious and cautious look. He appeared. . .normal, and not from around here, with his not pale and sickly skin, steel blue instead of red eyes, relatively clean clothes, and damning of all- the gear she could see peeking out from his jacket. 

An outsider. Possibly a police officer, or an agent. She didn’t know, but maybe he was someone here to deal with whatever was going on in this hellhole, hope blooming in her chest for the first time in days. 

Finally coming back to herself, Ella immediately put her hands up and dropped her knife, showing she meant no harm. 

“Wait-” She breathed, her throat a bit hoarse considering she hadn’t used it since escaping. “I’m not like them- I’m not infected.” She tried to explain in a rushed and panicked voice, but her mind was still reeling from the shock of suddenly running into someone who wasn’t a villager here. “I-I was out here hiking with friends, but we- we were attacked, and I escaped,” He still wasn’t saying anything, his eyes not moving from hers. Ella could only assume he wanted her to continue. “I just want to get out of here and go home, please. I swear I’m telling the truth.” Surely he could tell she wasn’t a villager, with her combat boots, black tights, dark jean shorts, black t-shirt, and dark green flannel. He had to know she was telling the truth, because why else would she be out here in the middle of nowhere? People had to have reported their group missing.

The blonde man seemed to take in her words, considering them a few moments before he lowered his gun, holstering it. Ella let out a breath of relief, though a dark part of her mind that had surfaced since this hell had started, wondered if him shooting her would have been the best thing for her after everything she had endured. She ignored it, her waning self-preservation instincts shoving the thoughts into a faraway corner. 

“How long have you been out here?” He spoke for the first time, a gruffness to his voice that hinted to a tortured past. 

“Um. . .a few days. I think four,” She answered as she tried to think back to how many nights had passed. She had stopped keeping track and instead focused on surviving. This man didn’t seem like he was one for facial expressions, but the twitch of his eyebrow made Ella think he was shocked. Sensing his curiosity, Ella moved her flannel shirt to the side, revealing a metal water bottle hanging at her hip. The bottom of it had an orangish to dark brown to black gradient, revealing it had been burnt multiple times. 

“I boil water and add iodine tablets for good measure, I know some edible plants, though there aren’t many around here, I was about to kill a chicken, and these villagers leave a lot of kitchen knives lying around.” She answered his unspoken questions, and when he didn’t say anything, she shrugged. “I was the survivalist nut of my friends,” She murmured, leaving the explanation at that. The very mention of her friends sent a sharp pain through her heart and she had to quickly think about something else.

“It shows.” Was all he said in response, before turning his head to scan their surroundings. When he noticed the dead villager on the ground, he glanced at her once more, but didn’t say anything about it. 

She waited for him to ask anything else, but he was quiet, Ella wondering what he was thinking. His expression was well guarded, making it almost impossible to tell, but after a moment, he reached into a large pouch at his hip, before holding something out for her. Her brows furrowed as she looked to see what it was, taking in the wrapping and the words across the front.

It was a granola bar. Food. 

Without another word, she practically snatched the snack from his hand, unable to find it in herself to care as she almost tore it open with her teeth. She refrained, opting to tear the wrapping with her fingers and making sure not to waste a single bit. 

“Thank you.” She breathed, relieved she didn’t have to kill a defenseless animal for now. He nodded in acknowledgement, before he moved to the open building to look around as Ella focused on her food.

She was careful not to eat too fast, taking a couple bites before unclipping her water bottle and taking a swig. It didn’t taste great, especially compared to the honey flavored granola, but when you were in survival mode, it didn’t matter how the water tasted. Just that it was clean. Despite trying not to eat fast, it wasn’t long before the granola bar was practically gone, Ella turned to the man as her curiosity grew.

Her eyes took him in for a few moments. He wore a leather jacket with a navy blue shirt underneath, black jeans and boots, and a pouch that clipped around his thigh. She had also taken notice of the fingerless gloves and combat belt that was at his waist when he had the gun to her face. He was ready for a fight, that was for sure. 

“So what about you? You look prepared, you’ve clearly come out here on purpose for who knows what reason, and you don’t seem like a cop to me.” He stopped at that, turning his head enough for her to know he was listening to her. “Why are you here? Did someone you know come out here and go missing?” She probably shouldn’t pry, but he was the first non-infected person she could talk to in days.

“Something like that.” He grabbed a green herb that was growing into the barn, picking a piece off the stem and putting it into his pouch. He had more knowledge on plants and herbs than she did, as she had no idea what he had just grabbed.

“Does it happen to be a young girl? Blonde, kinda like you?” She went out on a limb, and it was the correct one, because his eyes snapped to her, the most emotion she had seen from him thus far showing in his expression. 

“You’ve seen her?” He questioned, having clearly been traveling blind thus far. 

“Yeah, they carried her into the church up on the hill. I tried to help her but. . .she was surrounded and all I have are these crappy knives. I was hoping to get help once I got out of here.” If the girl, or herself for that matter, lived that long.

After everything Ella had lost, the last thing she had wanted to do was leave that young girl by herself with the villagers, but she knew going in with just a rusty, deteriorating knife wasn’t going to be of any help to her, and her best bet was finding help. It seemed she had found some much sooner than she thought. 

“The church. . .” He was speaking mostly to himself, taking in the information Ella had given him. Ella wondered if it was the first piece of information on the girl the man had gotten since coming here.

“Yeah, it’s that way.” She pointed in the direction she had come from, the man's eyes following her finger. His brows were furrowed lightly in determination, and Ella could easily see that getting that girl back was important to him. 

She didn’t know why. The girl seemed a little young to be his girlfriend, but maybe she was his family. They were both blonde, but that was about where the resemblance ended. To be fair, Ella hadn’t gotten a great look at her.

“Is she your sister or-?” She asked, but she had a feeling she wouldn’t get an answer. This man was very clearly reserved, and he didn’t talk more than he had to. 

As suspected, he looked back to the area around him, preparing to leave without answering. Ella pursed her lips, unsure of what happened next. 

Was he going to leave her here? That was likely for the best since he was venturing deeper into the area and she was trying to leave it, but at the same time, she had no idea if she was going to make it out alive by herself. She didn’t even have a sure way out of here, having just been winging it thus far and hoping for the best. 

That, and the girl kept flashing into her mind. Ella couldn’t shake the guilt of leaving her behind even though Ella knew there was nothing she could have done for the girl. All she could think about was Alice’s terrified expression right before- 

Her heart twisted, and she had to bite the inside of her cheek to push the feelings down. 

“If you’re going to save her, I want to come with you.” The words were spilling out of her mouth before she could stop them, but she looked at him with determination nonetheless. He met her eyes then, his expression unreadable. 

“I know some basic self defense, and I’ve clearly handled myself this far. Plus, I don’t think I’m going to make it if I keep going on alone anyway, so I don’t have anything to lose,” She explained before he could reject the idea.  “I won’t get in your way. I just want to help.” She hoped that would be enough to convince him, but his expression made her believe that he was unsure.

“Look. . .I lost the most important person in my life to these cult assholes. If there’s a chance I can help stop whatever the fuck is going on here, and save someone in the process, I want to take it. Even if I die trying.” She hadn’t been kidding when she said she had nothing to lose. Alice had been everything she had, and she was gone. Ella could do nothing but watch as those people in robes murdered her on the stone table. She didn’t want to sit by anymore. 

And truthfully, she didn’t see a life for herself after all of this. Not after everything that happened. Not without Alice. So if she was going to die, it might as well be trying to do something good, like saving someone else’ person. 

“Also, you don’t seem like the kind of guy who leaves people behind so. . .” Maybe that was a low blow, and for all she knew he was the type, but it was her last ditch effort. She saw his chest fall in exhale, and she knew then that she had read him right.

What she hadn’t expected, however, was for him to grab another handgun from his waist belt, holding it out for her. 

“Do you know how to use this?” He asked her, seemingly doing some of his own reading. Ella looked to the black weapon, reaching out to take and examine it. She tested the weight of it, and noted its specs, before looking back up at him. 

“Well enough,” She answered, and it was true. She knew he knew that by the way he had watched how she handled it- the way she purposefully kept her finger off the trigger, and how she checked to make sure the safety was on, as well as the way she seemed to know how it was meant to be held. 

Ella had handled guns when she was younger. Her dad, who also taught her all the survival skills she knew, wanted her to know how to use one. Ella didn’t like guns, and because of that she had left the skills in the past, but considering their situation, she knew this was an exception. 

She’d get the hang of it quickly, considering it had only been a few years since she last handled one and she remembered the gist of it.

The man seemed satisfied with her answer and his own analysis on whether or not she should have a firearm, turning as he continued his exploration of the area around them. She tucked the gun in the waistband of her shorts before grabbing her dropped knife and moving to follow him. Her waistband wasn’t the safest place to keep the weapon, but she didn’t have much of a choice so it would have to do. 

“What are you looking for?” She questioned curiously. Maybe she could help if she knew what he was searching for. Because she had come from the woods, she didn’t really know the area, but two sets of eyes were better than one.  

“A way to open the gate.” He answered simply, proving that once again he was not a man of many words. 

“Gate?” She had not seen one when she snuck into the area, but she hadn’t been looking for it, concerned more with the animals and the amount of villagers nearby. 

“Do you know another way around?” He didn’t look her way as he talked to her, not slowing down for even a moment as he now had a clear direction to go thanks to Ella. 

“Not a quick way.” She sighed, knowing that going through the woods wasn’t a good idea. First, she had almost gotten lost multiple times, and she was lucky she knew how to tell where North was. Second, it would take a while if they went the way she came, because there was a fence that she had to find an opening in to get to here. 

Something told her he’d rather go through than around if it meant saving time, and with that, she began looking around herself.

Eventually, they found their way into the windmill, and Ella stayed behind as the man climbed the ladder to the top. 

After some rustling and shuffling, Ella contemplated going up herself, not being a very patient person. Especially in this situation she had found herself in.  

“We need to find a wooden cog.” His voice called down just as she moved to climb up. A wooden cog? She didn’t remember seeing one anywhere they looked. 

“Oh, maybe it’s in the barn!” She suggested. They hadn’t been able to find a way in, but perhaps there was a way from up there as she remembered seeing a wooden platform on the outside. “I’ll head that way.” AKA, she stayed where she was to wait for him to open up the barn from the outside. Fair enough. 

She sighed, crossing her arms as she awaited any news or a sound from him that told her if he found a way in. She began to look around the windmill for something to do, and she noticed another green plant just like the one he grabbed before. Hm. He clearly wanted them, right? Doing as he did, she grabbed a sprig of it, putting it into her back pocket. 

There wasn’t anything else of interest, and she no longer heard him walking around above her. Taking that as her que to head to the barn, she left the windmill, and it was then that she noticed the large man with a boar head and a giant hammer, her eyes widening.

 “Hey!” She shouted just as he slammed the large hammer into the wood of the barn, hoping to get the guys (she should really figure out his name) attention, as well as the boar man. 

She pulled out her gun, ready to test her neglected skills as she took a moment to aim, before opening fire. The recoil shocked her, as she hadn’t remembered how that felt, but hopefully the shot still landed.

She barely managed to get him in the side of the head, which was close enough to where she had been aiming, but the thing didn’t even flinch. To make matters worse, other villagers were spilling into the area.

Before she could think of what to do next, a loud bang rang through the air, making her flinch and look to the barn in shock. 

The boar man was on his knees, and the guy came out with a shotgun, before landing a spin kick to the creature's head. 

What the- where the hell did this guy come from?! 

She couldn’t focus on that, deciding to take care of the villagers that were on their way to him. She took aim again, and this time when she fired a head shot, it was effective. 

Feeling more confident than she had in days, she stepped forward, focusing on the villagers while the man took care of the bigger threat. There were quite a few, but soon the last fell to the ground just as the blonde finished his threat off. Ella was glad that she had remembered her previous gun lessons, because otherwise she would still be running off into the woods and hoping for the best when she alerted the villagers. 

“What the hell was that?” She questioned as the adrenaline slowly left her body, turning to the man as she lowered her gun and focused back on what she had seen him do.

“I’m not sure.” He responded, clearly thinking she had been asking about the boar head villager. 

“No, not him. You. That was skilled training. Knowing how to use multiple kinds of guns, remaining calm under this kind of pressure, and that spin kick? Who are you?” She couldn’t help but ask, having not expected that from him. He reloaded his shotgun, seemingly contemplating his answer, and it was then Ella knew she wouldn’t be receiving one. 

“I’ll explain later. Let’s go.” He replaced the shotgun on his back, which had been hidden behind his jacket, before grabbing the wooden cog they had been looking for off a table and walking past her. 

Ella took a moment to process, before letting out a sigh and turning to follow him. She supposed who he was didn’t matter, but she still wished she knew a little more about her new traveling companion. 

He was back up the ladder a little bit later to place the cog in its rightful place, and it was then that Ella decided to ask a question that she really hoped she’d get an answer for. 

“Can you at least tell me your name?” She called, though a moment later she heard the mechanism start and the creaking of the door sound from outside, Ella turning her head to look as if she’d be able to see it opening from inside the windmill.

It was then that the man decided ladders were unnecessary, jumping down and practically startling Ella to death as she flinched lightly, letting out a breath and putting a hand to her heart as she willed it to calm down.

“Leon Kennedy.” He answered, and Ella could have sworn there was a hint of amusement in his eyes and a smirk pulling at his lips as he walked past her again.

 She narrowed her eyes at him and followed him out, her look turning into a half heartedly glare at the back of his head as they passed through the gate. 

“Ella Monroe.” She returned, deciding to keep her full first name to herself. She hated it anyway and no one but her father called her by it when he had the pleasure of ever speaking to her. He didn’t respond, but she knew he had heard her. Even if he hadn’t, it probably wouldn’t matter anyway considering he didn’t speak much. 

Letting it go and focusing on the journey, it only took a moment of walking before they came across something that made Ella stop in her tracks. 

“Oh hell no.” She found herself saying as she took in the rickety old wooden bridge. Leon turned to look at her with raised brows then. She could practically see the question in his eyes. “Oh come on, that looks so unstable.” She pointed out (even though it wasn’t really true), but he didn’t budge, and she sighed, relenting. 

She guessed he could see that she had as he started forward once more, and Ella pushed the fear from her mind as she reluctantly followed behind him. 

“I said I wanted to die helping out your friend. Not falling to my death after going over an obviously deteriorating bridge.” She grumbled, missing the way Leon’s steps faltered just slightly as she was too busy looking over the edge of the rope. Wasn’t looking down something they told you not to do? Even so, she found that she couldn’t help herself. 

All it showed her was that if she fell, it would probably be an instant death because she couldn’t see the ground, so there was that. This trip was already putting her in life threatening danger. 

But, she supposed that’s exactly what she wanted. 

xXx

There was a large door on the other side of the bridge, but it was locked.

“Maybe there’s another way in?” Ella suggested as she began to scale the wall.  She went around the left side, Leon going around the right, (not that there was much on that side), but it was no use. 

Her side came to a dead end, and the wooden fence was impossible to climb with its spiked tops. Meeting Leon back around, she shook her head.

“Nothing.” They would need to find a way to open the large wooden doors.

“How did you get through before?” Leon asked her, and she wished she had a good answer for him. 

“I didn’t. I was in the woods, over there,” She gestured in the direction to the left of the wall, and Leon sighed. “I could see down into the area, but I haven’t been in it.” Ella looked around, hoping to see anything that might help them get through, and that was when she noticed the wagon. “Oh, look!” She pointed. She was sure Leon had noticed that before, but he didn’t think they’d have to go that way. But maybe they could find a way around. It was really all they had right now.

She moved over to the back of the wagon, though she almost gagged at the scent surrounding it. A dead bull was inside, flies buzzing all around it as Ella swiped one out of the air in front of her. The bull would make it heavier and harder to push, but it wouldn’t stop them.

“Gross.” She murmured, before holding her breath as she pressed her palms against the wood, attempting to push it out of the way. It moved just a bit, but she definitely wasn’t going to be able to get it on her own, Ella letting out a grunt at the effort before giving up. She looked to Leon, who was watching her in amusement, his arms crossed. “A little help would be nice.” She sassed, a smirk tugging at the edges of his lips.

“Don’t hurt yourself.” He really thought he was funny didn’t he? “Move over.” He told her, and she rolled her eyes before she did as he said, giving him room to push as well. With his help, the wagon practically slid out of the way, Ella almost falling forward onto her face as she let out a yelp, catching herself.

She was pretty sure she hadn’t even helped much. Leon, seeming very pleased with himself, began walking forward down the path.

“Well, I’m glad I could help wipe that permanent scowl off your face. It definitely makes you a little softer on the eyes.” She huffed, her jab of course halfhearted, and he looked at her, the amusement still there. The fact that he didn’t respond only annoyed her further, and she felt like throwing her hands up in defeat, to which he seemed to chuckle the slightest bit at.

She had only spent a little over a half hour with him, and she could already tell he was hopeless. However, if she was being honest with herself, this banter between them was a great distraction to keep her mind from wandering to everything that had happened, and she appreciated that immensely.

The way she could tell he had a comedic side to him that seemed to be suppressed told her he had been through some heavy things as well, and maybe, just maybe, he knew at least some of what she was going through. Maybe he knew he was helping her stay afloat in a shitty situation.

That was a lot to assume about someone she just met, and maybe she was projecting, but she had a feeling.

Either way, she- “Watch out!” Ella reached over, grabbing ahold of his arm with both hands and pulling him out of the way of a flying ax, the blade just missing his shoulder. They had been too distracted to notice the villager rounding the corner, and it was then they shouted out to the others. Leon readied his gun, and Ella followed suit.

These bastards were everywhere.

xXx

“You’re welcome by the way.” She pointed out as she checked the ammo on her gun. She was just about to run out. 

Taking care of the villagers they had stumbled on hadn’t taken too long, Ella getting better and better the more she used her gun. Killing the villagers was still making the weight in her chest grow, but she was trying to accept that she didn’t have a choice if she wanted to survive long enough to help the girl out. She reminded herself of that every time she watched a villager's body fall limply to the ground, combatting the guilt in the only way she could. 

“Thanks.” She looked up at him, a little surprised he had actually said it as she had only been joking around. She definitely wouldn’t complain. 

She had been very conscious about not getting in his way, so to actually be helpful was a big plus.

“You’re welcome.” She smiled, her words more genuine this time. She was clearly satisfied with herself, and Leon had to refrain from shaking his head. “By the way, do you have any ammo in there?” She asked hopefully. Leon reached into the pouch at his side, his hand seemingly disappearing right into the thing before he held out bullets.

“What is that? Mary Poppins’ pouch?” She asked in surprise as she took the bullets and began reloading her gun.

“It holds what I need it to, for now.” Leon responded, though he seemed to find the reference entertaining, it showing in the slightly raised pitch of his voice.

“Oh, so he can show emotion in his voice.” She teased, though she was glad she could get a reaction other than a smirk out of him. With that, he rolled his eyes, making her laugh lightly as she put the rest of the bullets in the pocket of her flannel. That would hopefully hold them, and she buttoned the top for good measure.

“Alright, we’re coming up on another small village. Stay low and quiet.” He instructed, and she nodded, following behind him as he began to move forward.

There was a small shack leading up to the settlement, and the sound of beeping could be heard as they neared.

Was that a tripwire? Ella hadn’t even known they had those, but considering all her traveling was done in the woods, she wouldn’t have come across one. 

Fortunately, Leon seemed to know how to disarm it, making it a non-issue as long as they kept a lookout for them. 

“You’re going to have to teach me how to do that.” She murmured, thinking that useful information considering the situation they were in.

He nodded, moving forward before putting his back against the wall, and Ella knew he was going to survey the area beyond the shack to get an idea what they were up against, staying out of the way and hanging back.

“There’s a few of them, and it seems they have bear traps scattered around.” Leon stated as he looked around the edge, Ella nodding.

“Okay, what if we split up? This area is bigger than the barn, and maybe we can clear it faster.” She suggested, though Leon didn’t immediately seem on board with that plan, his look of disapproval showing.

“Oh come on,” She sighed. “I promised I wouldn’t get in the way, right? And you need to find a way to that church sooner rather than later. This will get us through faster. Besides, if you refuse, I’ll take that as an insult to my survival skills and assume you don’t think of me as capable of taking care of myself.” She gave him a pointed look. She knew that he was just concerned that she would get herself hurt, but she didn’t want him worrying about her. It would slow them down and take up more time if he was trying to keep her close and watch over her, which was the last thing either of them wanted. 

Leon seemed to consider her words, before relenting. 

“Shout if you need help.” He told her, Ella unable to hold back her grin of satisfaction at succeeding. 

“I won’t, don’t worry.” He wasn’t happy with that. Whether she meant she wouldn’t need help, or she wouldn’t shout for him, she didn’t clarify, which seemed to be the main reason for his unhappiness. 

She just winked, and he sighed through his nose in disapproval, but didn’t comment further, already catching on that it wouldn’t change anything.

He was a fast learner; she’d give him that.

“You go on ahead and find the best way through or anything useful. I’ll stay back and make sure the villagers to the right are taken care of and no more show up. Deal?” She suggested, and he nodded in acceptance.

“Watch the traps.” He warned.

“You too. And be careful.” She returned, and he nodded his head at her, Ella knowing he was returning the sentiment. With that, he went forward first, and Ella was right behind him, taking care of the villagers to the right so he didn’t have to worry about his back. She had realized thanks to the crop of villagers on the way here that she needed to be more frugal with her ammo, so she decided she’d use the bear traps to her advantage. She shoved a villager into it, watching as the teeth of the trap clamped down on his leg, leaving him immobilized and allowing her to use the kitchen knife she had, stabbing him through the neck.

Unfortunately, the knife broke in his flesh, and Ella cursed to herself as she threw the handle down. So much for her plan to save ammo. She’d just have to try and make every shot a kill shot.

She got through her portion of villagers, letting out a sigh as she checked her ammo. She still had a bit left, but it wouldn’t last her long.

She noticed one of the cabins had an open window, thinking maybe it would be good to check it out. She didn’t see Leon, but she wasn’t worried. Even in the small amount of time they knew each other, she knew he could take care of himself just fine. She’d go on ahead to look for him and see what he found in a moment.

For now, she jumped through the window of the cabin, gun at the ready in case there were any straggling villagers. Fortunately, it was clear, and as she searched the small house, she found another kitchen knife, smiling.

See? They just leave them lying around everywhere.

With that being the only useful thing she found, she moved to exit back through the window, but movement caught her eye.

Her eyes widened as she noticed the large man in the hat and robe walk through the small village, her eyes widening as she quickly ducked out of sight.

She had seen him around the village before, and he always gave her a really bad feeling. He was different from the others. He seemed to have authority over the villagers, and he was clearly more intelligent and in control, like him. 

She quickly shoved all thoughts of him from her mind and focused on the threat at hand. There was no way she could take him with the limited skills and ammo she had. Hell, she didn’t know if Leon could take him.

Leon.

He was going in the same direction her new companion had.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck.” Ella murmured as she began to panic, looking out the window and seeing that he was gone. She had to do something, but what?

She jumped out the window, moving as quickly and quietly as she could in the direction the man went. She didn’t see him, but there was only one way he could have gone. Nearing the big house at the end, she had just gotten to the kicked-in door when she heard the distant crash, fearing she was too late.

She froze as she tried to think of what she should do. Should she run in and help? But what if the best thing she could do is wait, lest she get in his way? But maybe her extra bullets could be of help! But she may also just distract him?

She had no idea what to do, but she couldn’t just sit out here. 

Just as she was about to run inside, she heard heavy footsteps begin to come towards the entrance. Leon was a big guy, but he wasn’t big enough to have those kinds of footfalls. Plus, he was stealthy, something she had picked up on along the way. That could mean only one thing.

Ella quickly ran to the side of the house, hiding behind it and waiting, hoping she was wrong. However, she knew she wasn’t when she saw the large man walk outside of the house, her heart dropping.

He was carrying two people; one man she didn’t recognize, and Leon. Ella had to look very closely, but she could see he was breathing, relief flowing through her.

But now she had no idea what to do to help him. If he couldn’t take the guy on, then she sure as hell couldn’t. 

What did he want with Leon? He wasn’t killing him immediately, which meant he probably wasn’t going to kill him at all, unless he wanted to do a ritual like the one- 

No, Ella wouldn’t let that happen if that was the case. She may have only known him for a couple of hours, but she would not sit by and let him die if there was anything she could do about it. 

She had a gun now, and while it wasn’t much, it was far more than she had before. 

For now, she had to put her stealth skills to use once more, and follow the man carrying Leon.

A/N: Again, let me know if you like it! If I don’t get a lot of notes on this I might not continue it, but who knows. I’ll probably post it elsewhere too. If you have any issues with it or think I should have put better warnings, please let me know! Also let me know if you think my portrayal of Leon should be different. Thanks for reading! 

[spacepiratenemo]

Shortly before Nemo officially joined the Whitebeard Crew, there was a breakdown that led her to trust the first “Blue World People” she got to know. Wanting to give Nemo time and space, the Crew often watched her behavior, not wanting to push her to talk about things she wasn’t ready to discuss. However, as her behavior and actions grew increasingly worrisome, the Crew couldn’t stand by and watch any longer. Especially Ace didn’t wish to see his new friend destroying herself, drowning in sorrows. He recognized a lot of her behavior from himself before he met Luffy and Sabo. And since he recognized this pattern of behavior, he understood where Nemo was coming from.

One morning, after a sleepless night filled with worry, loud screaming echoed across the deck as Ben, her assistant droid, caused alarm. Its Boss hadn’t been asking for help, refusing to absorb thermal energy, not sleeping, constantly working, and pushing everyone away. The night before, Nemo learned how quickly the weather can change on the Grand Line, and while everyone was asleep, a quick blizzard froze her solid, effectively threatening her life. When the Crew found her after Ben alerted them, they brought her into her parked spaceship, where Ace quickly heated her up, thawing her out and helping her regain consciousness. Once again, Nemo pushed him away, telling him to “mind his own damn business” - But this time around, Ace wasn’t having any of it! He wasn’t willing to keep watching, hence, he didn’t let her go this time around. Ultimately, this is how Nemo also finally accepted him, as a true friend.

Author’s Note: Ace prevented Nemo from running away, keeping her close, eventually causing her to fully snap. The Space Pirate first began to clench her teeth, tighten her fists, resolving in punching against the Firefist’s chest over and over again, yelling, screaming… and ultimately, crying. Despite the Crew already knowing bits and pieces of what happened to Nemo, they hadn’t realised the full scope of what she had been through. 

During her complete breakdown, Nemo told him that she and her crew were just having a party and did some maintenance, resulting in security systems being shut down. No one could’ve expected this massive blast from the Blue World annihilating pretty much everyone within a second. And those that survived were on the brink of death. Ultimately, the next unfortunate circumstance was Enel’s appearance on the moon shortly after the destructive killing-blast. This self-proclaimed god wanted them to bow, and when they refused, he wiped the rest of them away. Only Zekka was still strong enough to defeat this opponent, but the Capt’n lost his life trying to save at least two of his kids: Nemo and Alliqui. 

The siblings couldn’t comprehend what happened. Suddenly their whole world was gone, everyone was dead and they were the sole survivors of an apocalypse. Struck by grief and overcome by emotion, the siblings quickly finished the Omnis, and despite the ship not being ready, they still used it to dive into the Blue World and enter Mariejois, demanding answers for this genocide. You can imagine how this turned out. Nemo and Alliqui were captured, tortured and used as guinea-pigs. Eventually they managed to make their escape, but Admiral Kizaru now stood between them and their freedom. Knowing Ben restored the Omnis so much that it could at least fly them away, they knew they only needed to make it to their spaceship in order to flee. However, Kizaru wasn’t willing to let them go, resulting in Alliqui sacrificing himself so his baby-sister could live… Nemo had to watch… And ever since, she refused to sleep or rest, afraid of the nightmares and pictures that kept haunting her. Completely broken down into tears, she kept wondering what the Lunarians did to deserve all of this. What justified such genocide? Were they monsters with no right to live? 

This breakdown served as a character-development and bonding scene. After the “worst is over” - Nemo joins the Whitebeard Crew, knowing that the Jackpots would’ve wanted her to live and be happy again. Ace helped her to see that and overcome this extreme grief, helping her to cope and showing her a new path. Ever since, these two have become best friends that weren’t able to live without each other for a single day. 

[dna-d2]

(One Piece Live Action Spoilers, Beware) (Also long post alert, Also Beware) (TL;DR at the end)

(Beware)

So I finally finished watching the Live Action One Piece and BOY LET ME TELL YOU.

(Please note that this is coming from someone who’s read the manga numerous times and is almost caught up on the anime. So this is a time for me to lovingly rant about this show/franchise in general)

I loved it. Like, to start off with, I fucking loved it. It had a couple flaws, and I certainly wouldn’t say it’s the BEST way to experience the story of One Piece, but I had so much fun with it, god.

Like, one of the biggest flaws you see with live action anime adaptations is that they make a bunch of changes, and these changes feel like they were made by a bunch of higher-up suit-wearing dickheads who think they managed to systematically dissect why people loved Dragon Ball so much and gave us the war crime that was Dragon Ball Evolution.

No, OPLA does have changes, but these changes feel like they were made to actually ADAPT the story into a new medium, since this would require a whole different type of storytelling compared to anime or manga. And (almost) all of the changes do feel like they were able to get the same point across as in the anime/manga, just in a different way.

Like pretty much everyone’s been saying, the casting choice was SPOT-FUCKING-ON. Like

HOLY SHIT

Guys, Iñaki as Luffy was absolutely brilliant and you’d have to kill me before I’d ever say anything different, I mean it. The closest I’d have to a character complaint (and it’s really not a complaint, it’s more of a nit-pick than anything) is that Zoro was just not goofy enough. OG Zoro gets caught up in the shenanigans more than he’d like to admit and gets pissed about it and many other things. OPLA Zoro was way more stoic than that. Though I did also like the stoic himbo energy he was giving off too, so like I said it’s not ENTIRELY a complaint. Just a slight nitpick. (And this is nothing against the actor, the actor did a phenomenal job and I will hear no slander against him or any of the others. Especially Usopp’s actor. Dude was perfect in pretty much every way)

And then the only REAL complaint I had. Well, two, technically. And they both center around the final two episodes.

One of the ONLY changes I didn’t like is that the people in Cocoyashi DIDN’T know that Nami was working for Arlong to buy back the village. The anime/manga had them all know about it and play along so that her efforts to help them wouldn’t be in vain, thus when she was double-crossed by Arlong, they had 7 years of resentment against just HIM to get out, and it felt so nice knowing that these guys were more than willing to fight to the death for her in her name and in the name of the years she sacrificed for them.

In this one though, the fact that they didn’t know just made it feel less impactful to me. They hated Nami for years, then just gave her an apology for not realizing what she was doing before deciding to march on Arlong Park. They didn’t even march on Arlong Park. It felt like the writers were rushing this along a little bit, which kinda leads into my other complaint.

I think there should’ve been ONE more episode. Just one. Nine overall. I think they should’ve spent 2 episodes, 7 and 8, specifically on the fight against Arlong, instead of an episode and a half with the resolution to the Garp thing stuck on at the end. THEN made episode 9 the resolution to the Garp subplot. Or hell, I think even just an extra 30 minutes would’ve helped a lot more. But it felt like they didn’t 100% get how to pace it out properly and had to change certain things that resulted in being a detriment to the overall product. I didn’t feel anywhere near as moved during Nami’s scene asking for help as I did during the anime/manga. In those, she looked absolutely broken, pushed so far past her breaking point that she just couldn’t see a way out of this darkness she’d found herself in for years and years. And in OPLA, she just…Didn’t. It’s hard to put to words, but it just wasn’t as impactful to me.

NOW WITH ALL THAT SAID!!!!

This is an incredible show in its own right. If I didn’t have the anime/manga to compare this to, I would have almost no gripes whatsoever. Maybe even none!! I enjoyed the hell out of this from start to finish, and only came out of it with like one complaint and a couple nitpicks. That’s INCREDIBLE for a live action anime adaptation. Not to mention the way that this is already proving to be a great way to get new people into One Piece. (They don’t realize. They don’t realize that this is the gateway show. That this is where it starts. They don’t realize that they’ll be hooked after this. They don’t realize. But I realize. I know. And soon, so will everyone…!!!)

So yeah, OPLA, solid 8/10. It’s not the best way to experience the story overall, but it’s great for beginners and I will watch again for Easter Eggs and further enjoyment. You should watch it.



TL;DR: One Piece Live Action is great actually, and while it’s not perfect, you should watch it and I love it.



[secretswiftymarvelfan]

The Demigod From Asgard - Steve Rogers x Reader (Part 89)

Summary: You and Steve begin to process everything in the aftermath of the final battle

Word Count: 5.5k

Warnings: HEAVY ANGST! Emotional Reunions! Language! Dark Thoughts! Grief!

Dividers by @firefly-graphics​

Series Masterlist / Masterlist

Chapter 89: The Aftermath

The hours after the battle were a blur, everyone rushing around, tending to the wounded and clearing debris. There were portals open everywhere allowing people to quickly run between New Asgard, the New York Sanctum and Wakanda.

You and Steve were sat side by side on a camping cot in the New York Sanctum, not saying a word as everyone rushed around. You hadn’t said a word since the battle, just held onto his hand. You had cleaned the dust and grime from your bodies, spare clothes had been found and any injuries had been stitched up and bandaged.

“The doctors in Wakanda are overwhelmed with the injured but there are healers in New Asgard on standby, send who we can over there,” Sam said to a young sorcerer as he walked past.

You watched him go, your mind going to all those times on the run together, the safe houses you used to live in with the far too-thin walls. A lump formed in your throat as you looked over at Steve who was also watching Sam.

“Nat’s gone isn’t she?” you whisper looking down a the floor.

“yeah” Steve confirmed his voice thick with emotion “she-she sacrificed herself to get the soul stone”

You try to hold back your tears but fail shaking your head as your head drops. Steve let go of your hand to wrap his arm around your shoulders pulling you into his side. You held onto him as you cried into his shoulder, kisses pressed to the top of your head.

“I’m so sorry- i- i- wish I could change it, bring her back for you and for JJ, she was a rock for him and me the past few years,” Steve says shaking his head, as you lifted yours enough to wipe away your tears.

“how-how is he? JJ?” you ask.

A smile breaks out on Steve’s face, shaking his head gently “he’s amazing, you’ll be so proud of him, he’s my mini me but I see so much of you in him, your kindness, intelligence, empathy” he smiles looking back over at you.

“Really?” you breathe out, tears welling up in your eyes.

“really” Steve nods, a warm smile on his face before he chuckles gently “I’d show you the photos I have on my phone but it’s currently buried under rubble”

You give him a weak smile before letting out a long sigh and resting your head on his shoulder. Steve presses a gentle kiss to your forehead “you alright?” he murmured against your skin.

“yeah… just tired” you mutter, unsure whether you could class it as the truth or not. You were tired, exhausted after fighting two battles back to back, but after everything you’d witnessed and learnt you weren’t sure what you were feeling if anything at all.

“do you want to go home? Or do you want to stay the night here?” Steve asks his hand running up and down your back “it’s your choice, I’ll just have to let Roberta know” he adds making you look up at him in confusion “Roberta is my, well our neighbour, she’s looking after JJ, she’s been great too helping me out when Nat couldn’t” he explains.

“oh” you hum nodding your head, you felt a sudden wave of jealousy that you didn’t expect. It had been 5 years since you disappeared… died… so it would have only been natural for Steve to move on eventually.

As if reading your thoughts Steve hooked his fingers under your chin and got you to look at him “I haven’t been with anyone, Roberta is just a friend, the idea of being with anyone but you just felt wrong” he tells you, his voice cracking.

You bite your lip to stop it from trembling as you leant forward to rest your forehead against his “I wouldn’t have held it against you… I’d want you to be happy…”

“I know” Steve whispers pressing a gentle kiss to your forehead “so do you wanna go home? Or stay here?”

You take a deep breath pulling back enough to look around at the hub of activity around you. Part of you felt like you should be helping out, despite the orders from everyone to rest up. But another, larger part of you just wanted to have a good long shower, have a big meal and curl up on the couch with Steve and JJ. You really wanted to see JJ.

“I want to go home” you decide “I want to give my baby a hug and never let go again”

Steve nods, wiping away a tear you hadn’t realised had fallen “okay, I’ll see if Wong can portal us home, I’d take us on the bike but that is also buried under rubble and probably not road worthy anymore” he says with a small chuckle.

You couldn’t help but let out a weak chuckle with him, Steve squeezes your hand before standing up and walking off to go find Wong or Dr Strange.

You had barely been alone for a second before the thoughts and feelings you were trying to process started bubbling up. The world seemed to fade away and all you heard was a humming in your ears, one that got louder and louder.

“hey,” Bucky said pulling you out as he sat down next to you “where’s Steve?”

You clear your throat a couple of times, not trusting your voice “gone to find Wong or Strange or someone to portal us home I… I just don’t think I can stay here much longer” you mutter rubbing your hands together nervously.

“that’s fine, we’ve got this all handled, you guys deserved to go home and recuperate” Bucky nods and silence falls between the two of you as Bucky studies you “and look… you know you always have me to talk to right?”

You hum nodding your head “I know I just- I don’t know what I’m feeling, there’s so much but so little at the same time” you sigh shaking your head “how are you feeling?” you ask hoping to shift the attention away.

“fine” Bucky shrugs “this isn’t the first time I’ve woken up a few years in the future”

You swallow slightly before asking “do you get used to it? being physically in the future but still feel like you’re in the past?”

Bucky sighs glancing off into the distance “in some ways yes… in others, it's still confusing and disorientating, knowing years have passed for others, years you didn’t get to experience” you could only hum in response “are you excited to see JJ?”

A small smile tugs at your lips before fading “yes… maybe it’s-“ you start before sighing and rubbing your forehead “what if he doesn’t know me? or remember me? I’m practically a stranger to him” you admit blinking back some tears.

“hey,” Bucky says shifting closer to you, reaching out to take your hand “he’ll remember you, he always will”

“buck he was 1 when we disappeared, he’s not going to have any memories of me” you mutter shaking your head.

“Maybe, but he’ll know you,” Bucky says squeezing your hand “you don’t need a physical memory to know someone, you can remember how they felt, made you feel, the comfort they brought you, in the years I couldn’t remember Steve I still felt something familiar about him, I knew him without remembering him”

Tears fall down your cheeks as you listened to him, his words helping calm that whirlpool of doubt in your heart.

“you and JJ spent every day of a year together, and that’s not including all the time you spent together while you were growing him,” Bucky says with a lopsided smirk “he’ll remember the feeling of you holding him, comforting him, singing him a lullaby as he fell asleep, you won’t ever be a stranger to him”

You sniffle back your tears “thank you buck”

“Anything for my pal’s gal” he winks.

You instantly grimace, your nose scrunching up as you cringed at what he just said “that was terrible” you say shaking your head with a small laugh.

“yeah, but it made you laugh so it’s a win for me” Bucky smirks shrugging his shoulders as he stood back up.

“what are you doing now? you know after this is all sorted?” you ask gesturing to all the hustle and bustle.

“probably go back to Wakanda, check on Steve the Goat and lay low for a bit, I am still the most wanted man in the world, even with the accords being repealed” Bucky sighs.

“they should pardon you, you weren’t in control and you’ve helped save the world,” you say shaking your head.

“maybe but it’ll be difficult, I’m gonna need a damn good lawyer,” he says with a weak chuckle.

“we’ll find you one, and whatever you need we’ll help, you belong back here buck, back home,” you tell him.

His lips tug upwards gently “we’ll see, give JJ a hug for me” he says taking a couple of steps away.

“I will, see you later” you smile.

“ready?” Steve asked as you gripped his hand.

You swallowed the lump in your throat glancing over to Wong before looking up at Steve “yeah” you choked out before clearing your throat “yeah” you repeated a bit more confidently.

“we’ll take it slow, just let me know whenever you’re ready” Steve reassured you, squeezing your hand.

You gave him a grateful look before glancing over at Wong, nodding your head to signal that you were ready. He gave you both a small nod before summoning a portal, you weren’t sure what you were expecting but your breath caught when you saw the large yet cosy living room. You looked over at Steve who gave you a warm smile but anxious smile as if he was nervous about what you thought.

As soon as you stepped through the portal it closed behind you allowing you to spin in a circle and take it all in. You had assumed Steve would have moved into an apartment somewhere you weren’t expecting a house, and certainly not a house as beautiful as this one. Everywhere you looked it was perfect, it was your dream house.

“where... when..?” you mutter still looking around unable to find your words.

“I found this place a few months before we had to go on the run” Steve answers, you turn back to look at him in surprise “it was going to be my anniversary present to you… this home for our future… but then the accords happened” Steve explained sighing gently at the end “but I couldn’t give this up” he says gesturing to the house “so I asked T’Challa to secure it for us in the hopes that someday we’d be able to return home” he steps forward to take your hand.

“you had this place all this time?” you whisper in disbelief.

“yeah I’d kinda forgotten about it, especially after the snap,” he says wincing slightly as he shook his head “but then Okoye gave me the deed on the one-year anniversary, this place had already been a fixer upper but it was in an even worse state but it gave me some sense of purpose so I fixed it up so me and JJ would have the home I knew you’d want for us”

Your lips parted in surprise “you did all this?”

“yeah, Roberta helped a lot, Nat and Bruce too whenever they had the time,” Steve says glancing around before looking back at you nervously “do you like it?”

You let out a breathy chuckle shaking your head in disbelief “I love it Steve, it's perfect”

A wide grin grows on Steve's face “I’m so happy to hear that doll, every decision I made was with you in mind… maybe deep down I knew that someday you’d be back” he admits tears glistening in his eyes.

“oh, stevie” you whisper stepping closer to cup his cheek, his forehead pressing down against yours.

“I missed you so so much” he choked out his eyes screwed shut, his tears dropping down onto your face.

You held back your own tears your thumb brushing over his cheek, your breath catching when you felt the smooth skin instead of the beard you’d grown accustomed to. Another sign of how life had moved on without you.

“I’m back… it's okay I’m back now, I’m not going anywhere I promise” you whisper, your voice shaking.

Steve’s large hand covered yours as he nodded, pulling back enough to look you in the eyes, the love he was feeling clearly projecting from them “can I kiss you?” he muttered under his breath.

You nodded your head “you never have to ask me Steve” you whispered, thumb running over his cheek.

A choked laugh escaped his lips as he nodded, his head dropping as his lips captured yours. It was slow and hesitant to begin with but as soon as you melted into the kiss Steve grew in confidence as if he was no longer holding back and he was catching up on all those missed years in one kiss.

You felt your heart hammering in your chest and a sob trying to break free so you pulled away, forcing a smile as you looked up at him.

“you okay?” Steve questioned a worried look in his eyes.

“yeah, I’m fine” your voice cracking.

“you ready to see JJ? He’s just next door” Steve asks nodding his head in the direction of Roberta’s house.

Your mouth opened to say something, anything but your words caught in your throat as you realised you didn’t have an answer. You did desperately want to see JJ and hug him and hold him tight and never let go ever again, but you were absolutely terrified. What if he didn’t recognise you, didn’t know you, what if he resented you for leaving him, that was yet another heartbreak you couldn’t face right now.

As if reading your mind, Steve cupped your cheek “hey it's okay, take as long as you need” he reassures you.

You swallow the lump in your throat nodding your head as you glance to the side spotting a picture of Steve and JJ on the mantlepiece. You automatically started walking over, hugging yourself as you took it in. it was a picture of Steve and JJ sitting on a bench together at Coney Island, sharing cotton candy, both smiling towards whoever was taking the photo. It looked like it had to be recent, maybe the summer just gone or the one before. Either way, you were able to see just how much JJ had grown up in your absence, and he looked exactly like Steve, right down to the cheeky grin on his face.

You felt Steve approaching you, his hand resting on your back. You bit your lip to stop it from trembling as you stepped closer into his embrace, taking a shuddering breath and resting your head on his shoulder. You felt him press a gentle kiss to the top of your head, before resting his cheek against it the both of you just standing there in silence looking at the photos in front of you.

You were about to say something when you heard the sound of the front door opening, your breath catching as both you and Steve turned in that direction.

“Alright, you go get all things you need for a sleepover, and don’t forget your toothbrush” a woman, who you assumed was Roberta said as she shut the front door.

“Can I get my colouring book?” you then hear JJ ask.

“of course, get your crayons too, yours are better than mine” Roberta responded.

You hear the sound of footsteps running towards you and your heart begins to hammer in your chest. You hadn’t realised you were holding your breath until it was sucked out of your lungs like you’d been sucker punched when JJ turned the corner and froze in the doorway to the living room.

“JJ” Steve started slowly taking a step closer to your son who looked like a deer caught in headlights.

“Mommy?” JJ muttered in disbelief his lip trembling.

“yeah” you choked out, a small sob escaping your lips.

You barely had enough time to crouch down as JJ ran across the room and launched himself into your arms. You held onto him as tight as you could, the sobs you had been fighting to hold back breaking free.

“I’m sorry, I’m so so sorry” you muttered pressing kisses to the top of his head “I missed you so much”

Steve’s whole body was trembling as he watched the reunion playing out in front of him, he hadn’t realised how scared and nervous he was for this exact moment. Despite picturing it in his head for weeks, months even years he wasn’t expecting this much raw emotion.

“Hey, you did it” Roberta whispered putting a hand on his shoulder.

Steve choked back a sob as he nodded his head “your sister? And friends?” Steve asked clearing his throat.

“my sister is next door, confused but okay, Frank and Mary are good too, just waiting for me to get back when I can” Roberta nods tears collecting in the corner of her eyes “how are you? I heard the news”

Steve nods swallowing “sore, but we’re okay, we won but… we lost so much… Tony-“ Steve explained quietly unable to finish his sentence.

“I’m sorry, I know you two didn’t always see eye to eye but-“ Roberta sighs rubbing his back.

“but he gave me back my life” Steve finished looking over at you, watching as you gently wiped away JJ’s tears, a brave smile on your face as you kissed his forehead “and I’ll be eternally grateful for that”

“we all will be” Roberta smiles gently “I’ll go get the rest of JJ’s stuff and let you guys catch up, do you want me to put the lasagne in the oven for you before I go?” she offers.

“yeah that would be great thank you Roberta” Steve sighed gratefully.

As she went he turned back to you and JJ, a smile on his face when he saw you sat down cross-legged, JJ curled up in your lap, holding onto the cotton tee you wore as he rested his head against your chest. It was a scene Steve had seen so many times before when JJ was a baby and one he honestly didn’t think he’d see again.

Walking over he crouched down in front of you, pressing a kiss to your forehead before smiling down at JJ “hey bean”

JJ turned to look at him, his brows furrowing when he saw the healing cuts on Steve’s face “you’ve got an owie” he points out.

Steve nods gently “yeah but we’re fine, we just had to fight off some bad guys to make sure everyone was safe, but we’re okay we’re just a little sore” he reassures him.

“but you said fighting was bad” JJ frowns.

“it is, we should always try and use our words first, fighting is only ever used as a last resort, remember,” Steve tells him, before glancing up at you to see a questioning look on your face “I’ll explain later” he whispered to you.

At that exact moment, you then heard the sound of claws scampering across the hardwood floors, you look up to see a flash of gold fur running towards you. Steve easily intercepts the excitable dog, stopping it from causing havoc as it wiggled around.

“you got a dog?” you ask, not surprised at all.

“kinda, I found him when renovating this place, he was only a few months old shivering in the crawl space I wasn’t initially going to keep him, a pup and a toddler didn’t seem like a good idea but he worked his way in quickly” Steve explained getting the dog to sit beside him, stroking the top of his head.

“of course, you’d rescue a puppy” you chuckle shaking your head at him “let me guess his name’s buddy?” you ask arching a brow knowingly, recalling all the conversations you had about getting a dog someday.

“no, it’s Scout” JJ answers looking up at you.

Your jaw drops and tears once more collect in your eyes as you look over at Steve in disbelief, you hadn’t expected him to have picked the name you’d suggested all those years ago.

Steve gives you a warm smile “another reason I kept him was because he felt like a gift from you, so it was only right that you got to name him”

“oh Stevie” you whispered shaking your head, Steve just smiles leaning over to kiss you gently.

“I’m gonna go feed him, JJ why don’t you show mommy all of your drawings?” Steve suggests standing up.

JJ’s face instantly lights up and he leaps out of your lap to run upstairs to his room

“you doing okay?” Steve asks once JJ was out of earshot.

You stand up from your spot on the floor, looking in the direction JJ went in before looking back at Steve “yeah… I think so… thank you Steve for bringing me back home”

Steve didn’t, couldn’t say anything so he just cupped your cheeks and kissed you deeply. He didn’t dare break the kiss until he heard JJ running back down the stairs, carrying his books that were overflowing with drawings.

“I’ll be back in a minute” Steve promises before stepping away towards the kitchen.

He quickly gave Scout his dinner, before letting the pup out into the backyard to run around and do his business. He had just shut the backdoor when the timer on the oven pinged, grabbing some over gloves he pulled out the lasagne and began portioning it out.

“dinner’s ready” he then called out poking his head back into the living room where he saw you and JJ sitting on the couch going through all the drawings in his book.

You quickly helped JJ put the drawing away, smiling when he took your hand and led you into the kitchen. Steve was just putting the plates down on the table when you walked in, your jaw dropping when you saw what was for dinner.

“you cooked?” you asked in disbelief looking over at Steve.

Steve smiled bashfully “yeah I kinda learnt how to over the years, Roberta helped a lot, Nat too, I didn’t want to condemn JJ to a life of microwave meals and frozen food” he explained with a small chuckle.

You felt your heart clench slightly, so much had changed in your absence and Steve and JJ had lived perfectly happy lives without you. you knew you should be grateful and happy that they did, but it also hurt, it felt like you weren’t needed.

“It looks lovely,” you say forcing a smile as you sat down.

Dinner was eaten in almost complete silence, the emotions and events of the day having worn everyone out. You however kept your gaze on JJ as you ate, mostly because you were scared to ever miss anything again, but also because you recognised the look on his face. It was the same look that Steve wore whenever the cogs were turning in his head. You glanced over at Steve to see him also watching JJ, the both of you waiting to see what he’d finally say.

“i-“ JJ finally starts before frowning “if mommy could come back, can Auntie Nat come back too?” he asks looking over at Steve.

Steve lets out a small sigh shaking his head “no I’m sorry JJ” he says reaching over to take JJ’s small hand in his own “you know I told you we were working on a project to help a lot of people?” he asks, JJ nodding his head in answer “well we were working to get everyone who disappeared back, like mommy and Uncle Bucky and Uncle Sam, we were able to undo what happened to them, but we can’t undo what happened to Auntie Nat”

JJ looks down with disappointment “but who will look after her?” he asks sadly.

You and Steve exchange a glance, quietly debating on whether to tell him about Tony, ultimately deciding to wait. It had already been an emotional day already.

“lots of people will bean, she’ll have my parents and daddy’s parents up there, friends, her family too” you reassure him.

“there are a lot of people up in the stars that will look after her for us, and she’ll be able to look down on you like mommy did and watch you grow up” Steve adds.

JJ nods in understanding “can we go to the compound to see the stars?” he asks hopefully.

“not right now, the compound is uh- really busy with everyone coming back but we can go into the backyard to see the stars instead” Steve offers.

“okay” JJ nods before returning his attention back to the meal in front of him.

You look over at Steve, taking a small shaky breath knowing that he used Asgardian lore to explain where you were in the years you were gone. Something that made your heart swell knowing that all JJ had to do was look up at the stars to see you. But then the feeling of guilt washed over you, because you hadn’t been there, you didn’t see him grow up or look over him like the lore said you would. You were nowhere.

That evening, after putting JJ to bed together for the first time in years, you and Steve lay in bed together. The room was in complete darkness as you both lay next to each other just staring up at the ceiling, not touching, your hands only inches apart but never moving closer.

Hours seemed to pass and neither of you moved or said anything. Just waiting for the exhaustion of the day to take over but it never did. You knew Steve was still awake, and he knew you were too, but still nothing was said.

The silence became deafening as your mind replayed the last 24 hours, it seemed to finally catch up with everything. Every feeling you had, every dark thought. It replayed the moment you disappeared and the sick feeling you had felt. It replayed the battle against Thanos, how you slaughtered monster after monster, tears streaming down your face as you did so because you knew what you were condemning them to. You knew how they’d feel as the life was stripped away from them, because you had felt it too.

You could deny it no more, you knew what had happened and there was no other explanation.

“I died” you choked out, your hand shaking as it covered your mouth trying to stop yourself from sobbing but it was useless, tears streamed out of your eyes and into your ears.

Steve let out a short sharp breath. He knew something like this was going to happen, he could tell from the moment he first saw you that your mind was turning and soon the emotions would be processed enough to actually come to the surface. He wasn’t expecting that you’d say that though.

He looked over at you and while he couldn’t see much in the darkness, he could see your entire body shaking as you sobbed. Shifting closer to you he wrapped his arms around you and pulled you into his embrace, your face buried in his chest. He wanted to say something but he couldn’t think of what to say. He couldn’t tell you it was okay and you weren’t going to let him apologise. He’d never felt so lost for words, give him an enemy to face or troops to command and he’d have a speech ready without a second thought. But right now when you were hurting so much, he had nothing.

“I’m sorry” you stuttered through the tears.

“no, no don’t apologise” Steve muttered pressing a kiss to the top of your head, blinking back his own tears.

“i-I just- I-“ you tried to say before the sobs took over once more, stealing any words you had.

Steve held onto you tighter, burying his face in your hair. He pressed kisses to the top of your head, wordlessly reminding you that he was here, that you were safe now. The two of you remained like this for hours, in silence, just letting every emotion you felt out.

“I’ve never feared death before” you finally say sniffling “no Asgardian really does, we grow up with stories of Valhalla, its an honour to die in battle” you continue reaching up to wipe away your tears, yet new ones still fell “but it was terrifying, that moment when I went, I’ve never felt so scared”

Steve swallows a thick lump of emotion, trying desperately not to cry knowing how terrified you were at that moment. His heart aching to know that you were in any kind of pain when it happened.

“it didn’t hurt…” you said as if reading his mind “it was just nothing, it was emptiness, I didn’t go to Valhalla, or up in the stars, it was just an empty void” you mutter shaking your head “but it was more… when Tony snapped his fingers I heard screaming, I felt that same feeling of cold creeping up on me before it suddenly stopped, it only happened for a split second but it felt like an eternity” you explain looking up at Steve seeing his brows furrowed in concern “I didn’t realise it then, but I think witnessing the snap again triggered something, and what I heard was the screams of terror as half the universe disappeared”

Steve didn’t say anything, he couldn’t say anything.

“I’ve been fighting for decades, and I never thought twice about- about killing my enemies, I just did it because it needed to be done, but after experiencing what death is like I just struggled to condemn anyone to that, every time I killed one of those beasts it felt like a stab in the heart because I knew the fear they were feeling in that moment. And I know they were just creatures, and they didn’t have families or friends, but they were still dying, and then I just started to think of all the people I’ve killed in the past, wondering if they had children, a wife or husband waiting for them to return and i-“ you say beginning to stutter once more your chest heaving.

Steve had to stop you now, the path your mind was going down was too dark, too dangerous. He cupped your jaw, pressing your lips closed with his thumb, gently shushing you.

“don’t go down there, just don’t” he muttered shaking his head.

“but-“ you gasped as another sob rattled through your body.

“but nothing,” Steve says pressing a kiss to your forehead “anyone who goes into a battle knows what they are facing, the risks they’re taking, it doesn’t matter whether you’re good or bad, you go there knowing you might not walk away and it's only your decision to be there, nothing else matters,” he tells you, but he can still see the unconvinced look in your eyes “every enemy you’ve defeated chose to be there, chose to be bad, we don’t like to kill people but sometimes we have to, because if we don’t other’s will get hurt, and it's just something we have to compartmentalise”

“I don’t want to do it anymore Steve” you mutter shaking your head, your voice weak.

“I know, and we don’t have to, we can be done and just live out the rest of our lives as civilians, ones who get pissed when an alien damages their car or makes them late for work,” Steve says grateful to hear the small snort of laughter from you “we don’t have to fight ever again”

You sniffled a couple of times before nodding your head “thank you Stevie” you whisper looking up at him.

“it's nothing, and I know this is going to be hard, and this will all take some getting used to but you’ll get through it, I have a great therapist that can help and I’ll be there, through thick and thin remember” Steve promises you.

“through thick and thin” you whisper, your hand moving to rest on top of his.

Steve gives you another reassuring smile “get some rest princess, I’ll be right here keeping you safe” he promises kissing the top of your head.

“thank you Steve… for everything” you whisper reaching up to kiss him softly, before relaxing back down and snuggling yourself into his chest.

Steve remained awake for another hour or so, counting every breath you took, knowing the exact moment that you finally fell asleep. His hand slowly ran up and down your back, hoping the comforting motion was enough to stave off any nightmares. Once he knew you were fast asleep, he let himself drift off. He knew he’d probably wake again in an hour or so when nightmares found you, but he was ready for it. You had a difficult few months ahead of you both, but he was ready.  

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Series Masterlist / Masterlist

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[toxic-mothers-tourney]

Round 1: Match 11

Yu Ziyuan/Madame Yu (MDZS/CQL) vs. Rainflower (Warriors)

Yu Ziyuan/Madame Yu

CW: suicide - Sucks every good thing outta the atmosphere as soon as she walks into the room. - She is verbally and emotionally abusive to both her children, constantly comparing her son to a prodigy and saying his father disliked him until he developed a killer inferiority complex that set the stage for him to be forever alone and bitter. Her daughter had to parent her younger brother and her adoptive brother, who her mother HATES and constantly berates and abuses, even whipping him with a magic electric whip. She makes everyone around her miserable. - permanently fucked up all three of her kids. her impact on the main characters' journeys, their sacrifices, their low self-worth, their insecurities, and their relationship disintegrating cannot be overstated. convinced the adopted kid to essentially kill himself to protect her son and that the military invasion of their home was all his fault. her last words to the adopted kid were “I hate you so much” and the last thing she did before sacrificing herself was hug her son FOR THE FIRST TIME. toxic mother of all time. - read more here

Rainflower

- literally neglected her child for his looks and an accident he couldn’t really control - Basically disowned her son after he was permanently disabled due to falling in the river and smashing his jaw on a rock. Had him RENAMED after his injury (Stormkit -> Crookedkit) and said she couldn't love him because he was "ugly". Spent the rest of her life ignoring him and heavily favoring her other son and Crooked's brother. AND YET. SHE STILL GOT TO GO TO HEAVEN??? - She didn’t allow him as a small child to sleep in the same nest as her and his brother, basically the cat version of throwing him out on the streets. Rainflower also forced their leader to change his name to something that reflected his disability, and once he was old enough to provide for himself effectively disowned him. This extreme emotional abuse had a huge effect on both of her sons, and caused her disabled son to literally start training in cat hell because he didn’t feel appreciated anywhere else. - read more here

mod notes: I feel like rainflower will sweep but myu is so fascinating to me (deragatory)

[linkspooky]

SPOOKYYYYY!

I Need Explainationsssss!!!

Why is it that in your recent top fav jjk character, I didn’t see a certain Zenin Twin?!

Have You Forsaken that Mai Nation?! I thought you were an Ally!!! Oh the horrors!!!

How could you?!

I’m not actually being serious btw, I can tell that making that list way already a lot so ya probably didn’t have time to add her. Understandable

Haha, anon I understand! I have said before that Mai and Miwa are the two best written female characters in Jujutsu Kaisen. Mai is probably my favorite character to write - the potential a character like Mai has because of interesting subtext surrounding the character and because they are one of the few complex "bad" victims in the manga is different is different from the way they're written in the story.

When I call a character my favorite character, it's because of their character arc in the story. I believe Mai is an emotionally complex character, but if you look at her appearances in the story, she shows up once and is important in the Kyoto Battle arc and then in the next major scene she is in she dies. There's no arc there, we just skipped from point A to point B. While I enjoy Mai's character there's no much of it, we have her introduction scene against Nobara, her fight scene with Maki, and then her death and she doesn't really progress or change as a character across those three scenes.

When I say Mai is my favorite character to write, and not my favorite in Jujutsu Kaisen I don't even necessarily mean on a fanon vs. canon level. A character can be complex and have a lot of interesting ideas going for them, and still be underutilized in the story itself. The implication of Mai as a CSA victim. The complex victimhood she exhibits because despite being a victim alongside Maki, she's nasty, she doesn't want to fight to get better like all of Gojo's kids, instead of being strong and determined she's cowardly and wants to give up easy. She blames everyone else around her instead of herself.

A lot of those complex ideas are there, but does the story do anything with them?

This is a topic I discuss with @theanimepsychologist a lot. Jujutsu Kaisen tends to have themes and ideas that work on a subtextual level, but the story itself does not do a good job of writing them in a compelling way. For example, when I talk about the potential Mai represents as a character that made me fall in love with her:

Mai is set up as a person experiencing a different but equally valid victimhood and response to victimhood as Maki, being her twin sister who endured the abuse in the Zen'in Clan along with her. While Maki strives to be stronger than her abusers, Mai doesn't want to try hard to be better than them and cares more about staying together with her sister than proving herself as a sorcerer.

Maki is strong and independent, but it comes at the cost of sacrificing her relationship with Mai the only person who unconditionally loves her to try to prove herself to her family for the sake of her own pride. However, at the same time Maki feels like there's no other way she could have done this because if she stayed with the Zen'in she would have hated herself, the way her family always taught her too.

At the same time Mai loves her sister and wants to be loved in return, and Maki in several ways not only abandoned her sister but treats her like an afterthought, not really caring about Mai's friends, not really understanding Mai's feelings, and not communicating with her.

It is not Mai nor Maki's fault really, but their family who has created this conflict between the sisters and pitted them against each other. Both of them mourn the innocent youth they once had when they thought they were always going to stay together. When Maki was happy to protect her sister from the curses all around her she was afraid of, because Mai wasn't a burden at the time.

That is a potential story there where the two sisters coming together, shows that love can break the cycle of abuse, and the conflict in their relationship that was created not by them but by their family.

However, Maki and Mai never learn to understand each other. They never grow or develop their relationship from where it was at the start of the story.

Instead what happens is Mai commits suicide in a tragic fashion, beliving that it's all her fault Maki was weak all along and she was noting more than a burden (which the story seems to agree with, invaldiating Mai's complexity as a "bad" victim that was supposed to be deconstructed) and then instead of breaking the cycle of violence that created Maki she just continues it.

The story tries to present Mai sacrificing hreself as some kind of moment where the sisters have finally come together, it's an act of sisterly love that gave Maki the strength she needed to finally fight back against the Zen'in but that's the thing... they're not together! They didn't learn to understand each other. They didn't grow or solve or change or fix the conflict of their relationship. Mai just died and Maki got a new sword.

Which is why every moment that the manga tries to sell as Maki's character growth from now on feels kind of flat, because Maki was challenged to learn to understand her sister and work together with her and see her as a person and she never did that. She was supposed to free herself from the cycle of violence through love, but she just chose more violence.

The themes are there, both sisters coming together to unlock Maki's true strength and how Maki never needed to be strong on her own but needed to learn to fight with her sister...! That's there!

The way the story tells those themes though is just uncompelling, and they cut the potential of a great character short. Is Mai a good character? Yes. She's complex and her emotions are realistic and nuanced. Is Mai written as a good character in the context of Jujutsu Kaisen?

No way. It's not even the fact that she dies, my favorite characters of all time are Gwen Stacy and Terra Markov and they both die. However, those characters were destined to die. They were dead at the start of the story. Mai was set up to live alongside her sister and grow up with her, and grow closer together and then she just died.

So in conclusion, a good character =/= a good character arc.

[merrock]

CHARACTER INFORMATION

face claim: Greta Onieogou.

full name: Chloe Sonya Nwokobia.

nickname(s) / goes by: Chloe.

pronouns & gender: she/her, cis woman.

sexuality: bisexual.

birth date: June 24, 1991.

birth place: Alexandria, VA.

arrival to merrock: arrived one year ago in May, 2022.

housing: downtown.

occupation: youth program coordinator and organizer.

work place: Community Center.

family: Daniel (father), Henry (older brother).

relationship status: single.

PERSONALITY

There is no one in this world more sociable than Chloe Nwokobia, which is something she grew into as she has gotten older. She’s the kind of person who would make friends with a tree if you gave her the opportunity. She loves going out, having a good time and making new friends. One of the reason she loves meeting new people? She’s fascinated by them - where they come from, who they are, what they do, what their life story, all of it. She likes knowing everyone’s business but isn’t the type to pass it along. For the most part, she’s one of the most optimistic person you’ll ever come across. For her, life’s too short to be sad. When it comes to Chloe, it’s all or nothing. She’s there for you until the end, but the moment you turn your back on her, you’re on her list until further notice. There’s no boundaries when it comes to the people she cares for in her life. For Chloe, being around good people is all that matters. She’s not afraid to speak her mind or give her opinion. She likes thinking outside of the box and finding solutions to things. She’s trying to find herself and figure out what her next steps are in life. And honestly, if Merrock had superlatives for the residents, Chloe would most likely be known as the woman who smiles too much.

WRITTEN BY: Janessa (she/her) est.

BACKGROUND / BIO

TRIGGER WARNINGS: mentions of parental death, emotional parental neglect.

She was born on a summer night during June, in a town called Alexandria, Virginia. The town is nestled somewhere along the Potomac river and would never be anything other than a location on her birth certificate. She came into the world to two parents who couldn’t wait to welcome their daughter. However, she never got a chance to know her mother as she died due to complications during childbirth. Her father might not have blamed Chloe for her mother’s death but she could see something in his eyes as she grew to look more and more like the woman she saw in photographs. There was a sadness, a longing and an expectation. Almost like he was waiting to see if she would be worth the sacrifice. She could feel that pressure long before she could put into words what it was.

When Chloe was around eight years old, her family moved to the city of Berkeley, California as her father got a new job as a college professor. Chloe took solace in school – the hours away from a home that permanently felt sad. That never changed even if her reasoning did. Education offered her a chance to prove herself. That she was worth the sacrifice her mother made for her. She pushed herself to excel academically. Nothing but the best was good enough for her. No one was harder on Chloe than herself and it started to show. Chloe sacrificed a social life and those teen experiences that she saw her peers enjoying. That could all wait, she decided early on, even if she wavered a couple of times. But it was worth it when a combination of stellar grades and her performance on her SATs earned her a partial academic scholarship to Cornell University. She saw the pride on her father’s face when she told him, even if he told her that going to school in Berkeley was a more practical choice. If only he knew the real power he’d had over her growing up, how his lack of doting had created this tightly wound person fearing his disapproval. Chloe didn’t care about his opinion on this particular matter. She would deal with the consequences of loans later. She knew that she wanted to go to an out-of-state school more than she wanted anything else. So she went and got a real taste of freedom.

But college was like a blur – she studied and she studied, exams, extra work, and before long she graduated summa cum laude from Cornell University with a degree in environment and sustainability. It wasn’t long before she found herself applying to graduate school in New York City. Her master’s was in her grasp. Her aptitude for collaboration and passion for the environment impressed her professors. But more importantly, the progress reports she sent back to her father were what really mattered. The praise, the heralding of her having a bright future. It was all she could have hoped for. But still, she felt like something was missing.

She didn’t count on meeting Barry. He was a legacy from old money – legal and political connections in Chicago – studying law at Columbia and had hopes of a political future. He had big dreams, bigger than she had ever dared to dream. It was inspiring and being around him made her want to be better. Their relationship was one of mutual encouragement and lofty ambitions. They both knew what they wanted and their visions aligned. They wanted the same things. And he wanted her. They were still dating by the time she finished her program at Columbia and he asked her to stay with him while he finished school. She happily agreed and she spent a year bouncing between odd jobs before securing a position at Brown and Caldwell. She worked hard. She went above and beyond to prove that she was capable and that she had something that made her stand out from the other employees hoping to move ahead. It took up more time than she thought it would but she shined professionally.

Chloe’s relationship with Barry was much like it always was. He continued law school at Columbia and both of their demanding schedules didn’t leave much time for one another, but they figured that it was only temporary. She was comfortable even as the passion she once felt dimmed. It seemed like a side effect of getting older and being with him for three, four and then five years. He proposed on their five year anniversary. Of course, she accepted because that’s what you’re supposed to do after all that time, right? It only took a few weeks before the excitement started to wane. She started thinking about the life she would have with Barry and she felt… unsure. She couldn’t put it into words but she wasn’t rushing to plan her dream wedding. She kept claiming work was the reason, which was half the truth. The engineering firm was planning to expand and she hoped that it would lead to a promotion she had been working towards for years.

Spoiler alert: she didn’t get the promotion. Feeling defeated with her career and the lack of passion in her relationship, she decided she needed space from The Big Apple. She told Barry that she had gotten the job, telling him that the job was out-of-state, making up the little lie so she could get out of the city. Barry, equally as ambitious as she was, understood what it would mean for her. They agreed to break off the engagement, looking at the separation as a chance to find themselves again. She felt a sense of relief at the distance; at the chance to figure out what went wrong and why her engagement ring didn’t feel the way she thought it would.

Not wanting to hear those three words ‘I told you so’ from her father, she knew deep down that she couldn’t go back home until she figured out her next steps in life. After searching online for jobs that suited her interests, she stumbled upon The Vinyl Hub. She thought the timing worked out perfectly and she jumped at the opportunity, finding housing in a Brownstone within Merrock’s historical downtown. Moving to Merrock was the first time she wasn’t reliant on anyone else but herself and she welcomed the independence, despite the adjustment. It was the first time she felt truly in control of her own life.

Now, with Chloe truly finding herself and her footing in Merrock, she decided to quit her job as a sales clerk at the Vinyl Hub and pursued a full-time job in coordinating youth events and programs at the Community Center. Along with Merrock Earth Club, she assists and organizes other enrichment programs at the Community Center, encouraging the youth of Merrock to participate in recreational games, recreational sports and educational activities offered at the Community Center. These days, she's pretty content when she's spending time with her friends, hanging out with her cat, and educating those in Merrock about the environment.