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join-the-joywrite · 4 years ago

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Hamish & Vera soulmate au headcannons

Oooohhhh who has the self control of a temperamental baby? Ma-ra! Mel-vyn!

This one feels longer than the others but I'm 43% sure it's because there's no angst and I'm a big fan of Person A and B continuously screwing up or screwing (with) each other

Up next, folks, is the lovely direction of your soulmate au. Fun.

Everyone is born with a little compass tattoo thing on their wrist. Instead of pointing north, it points to your soulmate. It heats up -- very slightly, almost unnoticeable -- when you're quite close to each other. Now and then, people can be seen walking up and down somewhere, eyes glued to their wrist because goddamnit it was pointing this way five seconds ago and now it's pointing the direct opposite way and-- wait shit turn back around

Vera knew her boyfriend wasn't it. Her compass never pointed at him. He knew it too. Still, she didn't leave.

Hamish knew Cassie wasn't it. His compass never pointed at her. He never said. She never noticed because she never checked her own. She didn't like the idea of soulmates anyway.

Hamish walks past "that scary girl who spends all her time studying" once and in his haste to step put of her clear warpath, he doesn't notice the slight tingling on his wrist.

Someone in the Order comes up to Vera before her Temple Magus days and gushes about how they think she's their soulmate. Vera, who has since kept up a facade of not really caring about her soulmate, sticks her wrist out and exposes her compass, which points towards the entrance to the Order. "Whoever he is, he's not in the Order."

For a while, Hamish tried to find his soulmate. Then he got caught up babysitting Randall -- and then Lilith. And then Jack showed up and there was no time for soulmate hunting when Jack Morton brings about the doom of the world somehow.

Jack and Hamish stand near the entrance to the Temple one day. Both their compasses point in the same direction. "Look, man, I know mine's this way because Alyssa's down there. . ."

Hamish doesn't believe his soulmate's an Order member.

A lot of shit happens. Their compasses go crazy when they fight the Order together, wildly spinning as they repeatedly cross paths. Given that Hamish is currently a werewolf, Vera is the one who notices this. Fucking hell, is it really a disciple???

Vera spends a few days walking through the Temple with her eyes on her wrist after they powder the werewolves. Once again, her compass is pointing in the direction of the entrance to the Temple. So who the hell was it??

The Knights get into the Order. Both their compasses stop pointing to one general direction and start randomly pointing in others. They're always watching their compass when they're not in the same room.

"If you're going to stand there, make yourself useful." Hamish gets Vera a drink. Vera chases him from the table. THEN Vera looks at her wrist and the mingling disciples. How could she possibly guess which one of them it is? °0° it's impossible.

"Bring me something in a tall glass." Well, I was about to go on a small soulmate hunt before I leave the temple for good but ok sure, let's rather do that instead.

When Vera's about to do the Excidium, she glances at her wrist to see that the compass once again points towards the temple entrance. She hopes her soulmate's far enough away, knowing that a good chunk of Belgrave is going to go down with her.

The more time Vera and Hamish spend around each other, the less they look at their wrists.

Once, they crossed paths while both looking at their wrists and when the compass flipped back, they turned, looked at each other, and went on their merry way

The have The Big Dumb okay

Gee I wonder who my soulmate is. Definitely not that one person the compass is literally always pointing to.

It's only after Alyssa, after Hamish is gathering his things and crossing the reliquary to find his other shoe that Vera sits back in the chair and glances at her wrist around Hamish. She watches the little compass follow Hamish as he goes from one end to the other.

"What are you laughing at, you're the one who threw everything around." "Nothing."

Hamish is there when Vera addresses the Order about the 'mysterious' passing of Kepler. As long as she still stands, his compass remains frozen. Hm, interesting. I wonder if there's a room behind Vera where -- OH!

"Mr Duke, do I have something on my face? . . . Stop grinning like that-- w-why are you? -- are you okay? Do you want to see the college therapist? Psychology? Psychiatrist? . . . An exorcist?" "I'm fine."

Vera loses Hamish in a crowd. I could check my wrist or I could-- "VERA STONE IS WEAK!" "WHO THE FUCK--" "ah, there he is."

"Hey you -- you new Medicum -- I swear I knew your name a minute ago-- have you seen the Grand Magus?" "No." "Damnit." Now I have to resort to old methods *cue Hamish marching around with his eyes glued to his wrist*

"Miss Dupres, do you know where the rest of the Knights have gone?" "No, Grand Magus." "Hm."

Vera gets Nicole in and checks her wrist against Gabrielle's. Both in the same place. "Those fuckers are up to something. Has anyone seen Mr Morton or do we have another impending apocalypse?"

Hamish won't stop tickling Vera. So while he's gone, she gets out her makeup bag. Fucking Alyssa. Could have returned my magic and then, not only would I be able to use magic for this, she'd be, you know, alive. Fucking stubborn Alyssa

Vera gets an epiphany. She might not have magic but she knows someone who does. Several someones, in fact.

Jack scrambles into the reliquary as fats as he can. "You said something about Hamish and an emergency."

Vera hands him a book. "Do this spell. Do it now."

"This is an illusion spell to cover up powerful magic . . . what did you do?"

"Nothing yet, I'm fucking with Hamish."

You mean you're fucking Hamish. "What was that, Magistratus?" "Nothing, Grand Magus. So, this spell, what do I do?"

Three hours later. "WHAT DO YOU MEAN IT CHANGED DIRECTION."

Jack @ Randall: hey, do u wanna go get a beer like right now and this exact moment which has nothing to do with all the yelling at all

To get back at Vera, Hamish decides to do thr same thing, except he has a 100% willing disaster partner Lilith to work with him on this one.

Two days after: IF I HAD MAGIC YOU'D BOTH BE DEAD

Hamish and Lilith sprint past Jack. "WE FUCKED UP WE FUCKED UP WE FUCKED UP WE FUCKED UP!"

Vera in the doorway with a knife in hand. "AND DON'T COME BACK UNTIL YOU'VE THOUGHT ABOUT WHAT YOU'VE DONE."

"So, is what normally happens when the temple is empty?" Gabrielle asks, "or is today a special occasion?"

"No, this is normal. Hamish and Vera often--" "Don't you finish that sentence Mr Morton or I'll be hanging Silverback up on my wall." "Noted."

Hamish loses Vera in a crowd. I could use the compass or I could-- "CHANCELLOR STONE IS STONED" "WHAT THE FUCK--" "ah, there she is."

Had Kepler been alive post S2 there's like a 99% chance she would've been like "why are your compasses pointing at each other?" Long silence. "Because we're sworn enemies, Bitsy, why else?"

Hamish is trying to teach a class. Vera stops by to ask something -- which would've been considered normal if she weren't also the chancellor. Whispering in the back: "Did you see their compasses?? Do you think they know??"

Vera doesn't have magic or werewolf senses, but she does have some good natural senses. "Krowchuck is looking to retire. Belgrave is looking to hire. Make sure you submit an application, okay, babe?"

Vera has literally never called him babe before. In fact, Hamish doesn't think she's ever called him anything other than Mr Duke, Hamish, or "you absolute fuckhead dickface" that one time he ate the chocolate she was hiding.

Hamish glares as she leaves. How the hell is he supposed to get a lesson done now.

Hamish turns up to the next Order meeting with his sleeves high enough that everyone can see his compass point directly to Vera. She isn't happy about it.

"Hey, how long do you think it took before they realised it was them?" "Like a year. I kept track." "That's creepy, Randall." "No, it's like watching your favourite show. Entertaining."

"Mr Morton, my favourite disciple! You look well! How are you doing today? Your magic keeps getting stronger, I'm so proud--" "What do you want?" "Do this spell and I'll let you play with one artefact from the reliquary." ".....You're fucking with Hamish's compass again aren't you?" "I would never! How could you -- okay, yes. Make it point to the most annoying person he knows."

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN IT'S POINTING AT MR CARPIO."

Randall chilling in the temple. "Wtf. Jack what did you do?"

"Why you always gotta blame me?"

Lilith, Randall & Gabrielle: because we're almost always right.

"Daddy, how long did you know Mommy before you knew she was your soulmate?" "Very long." "How did you and Mommy meet?" "I want a new question."

Can you tell my favourite trope is Hamish & Vera either vehemently denying that they're soulmates or just almost never realising it?? And then absolute chaos, of course.

See the other AUs I've mutilated

#hamish x vera #hamish duke #vera stone #the order #the knights of saint christopher #the knights of the blue rose #hermetic order of the blue rose #the hermetic order of the blue rose #vermish #soulmates #please just give me the soulmate au i want #soulmates au #soulmate #mara-writes

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coffeebased · 6 years ago

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It’s been a whole year since I posted last. Part of me wants to apologise for being gone so long, but mostly I’m just glad that I’m here.

Instead of doing a GIANT 2018 READING POST, I’m going to chop it up into three posts:

Favourite Books Read in 2018

2018 Reading Data and Goal-setting for 2019

2013-2018 Reading Data Trends

I was going to do a bigass one like I usually do but it just felt so daunting. Probably because I read 256 books in 2018 and it was pretty tempting to just close that Excel sheet and move on to an empty one for 2019. But what is the point of an unexamined life, anyway?

So this post is basically a listicle with summaries grabbed from Goodreads, as well as the complete list of the books I read in 2018. I really enjoyed all these books immensely and they’re all in my personal canon now.

My Top 10 Reads for 2018:

The Odyssey by Homer, translated by Emily Wilson

The first great adventure story in the Western canon, The Odyssey is a poem about violence and the aftermath of war; about wealth, poverty, and power; about marriage and family; about travelers, hospitality, and the yearning for home.In this fresh, authoritative version—the first English translation of The Odyssey by a woman—this stirring tale of shipwrecks, monsters, and magic comes alive in an entirely new way. Written in iambic pentameter verse and a vivid, contemporary idiom, this engrossing translation matches the number of lines in the Greek original, thus striding at Homer’s sprightly pace and singing with a voice that echoes Homer’s music.

Circe by Madeline Miller

In the house of Helios, god of the sun and mightiest of the Titans, a daughter is born. But Circe is a strange child—not powerful, like her father, nor viciously alluring like her mother. Turning to the world of mortals for companionship, she discovers that she does possess power—the power of witchcraft, which can transform rivals into monsters and menace the gods themselves.Threatened, Zeus banishes her to a deserted island, where she hones her occult craft, tames wild beasts and crosses paths with many of the most famous figures in all of mythology, including the Minotaur, Daedalus and his doomed son Icarus, the murderous Medea, and, of course, wily Odysseus.But there is danger, too, for a woman who stands alone, and Circe unwittingly draws the wrath of both men and gods, ultimately finding herself pitted against one of the most terrifying and vengeful of the Olympians. To protect what she loves most, Circe must summon all her strength and choose, once and for all, whether she belongs with the gods she is born from, or the mortals she has come to love.

3. The World of the Five Gods by Lois McMaster Bujold

A man broken in body and spirit, Cazaril, has returned to the noble household he once served as page, and is named, to his great surprise, as the secretary-tutor to the beautiful, strong-willed sister of the impetuous boy who is next in line to rule.

It is an assignment Cazaril dreads, for it will ultimately lead him to the place he fears most, the royal court of Cardegoss, where the powerful enemies, who once placed him in chains, now occupy lofty positions. In addition to the traitorous intrigues of villains, Cazaril and the Royesse Iselle, are faced with a sinister curse that hangs like a sword over the entire blighted House of Chalion and all who stand in their circle. Only by employing the darkest, most forbidden of magics, can Cazaril hope to protect his royal charge—an act that will mark the loyal, damaged servant as a tool of the miraculous, and trap him, flesh and soul, in a maze of demonic paradox, damnation, and death

4. Noli Me Tangere by Jose Rizal, Translated by Harold Augenbraum

In more than a century since its appearance, José Rizal’s Noli Me Tangere has become widely known as the great novel of the Philippines. A passionate love story set against the ugly political backdrop of repression, torture, and murder, “The Noli,” as it is called in the Philippines, was the first major artistic manifestation of Asian resistance to European colonialism, and Rizal became a guiding conscience—and martyr—for the revolution that would subsequently rise up in the Spanish province.

5. America is Not The Heart by Elaine Castillo

Three generations of women from one immigrant family trying to reconcile the home they left behind with the life they’re building in America.

How many lives can one person lead in a single lifetime? When Hero de Vera arrives in America, disowned by her parents in the Philippines, she’s already on her third. Her uncle, Pol, who has offered her a fresh start and a place to stay in the Bay Area, knows not to ask about her past. And his younger wife, Paz, has learned enough about the might and secrecy of the De Vera family to keep her head down. Only their daughter Roni asks Hero why her hands seem to constantly ache.

Illuminating the violent political history of the Philippines in the 1980s and 1990s and the insular immigrant communities that spring up in the suburban United States with an uncanny ear for the unspoken intimacies and pain that get buried by the duties of everyday life and family ritual, Castillo delivers a powerful, increasingly relevant novel about the promise of the American dream and the unshakable power of the past. In a voice as immediate and startling as those of Junot Diaz and NoViolet Bulawayo, America Is Not the Heart is a sprawling, soulful telenovela of a debut novel. With exuberance, muscularity, and tenderness, here is a family saga; an origin story; a romance; a narrative of two nations and the people who leave home to grasp at another, sometimes turning back.

6. The Feather Thief: Beauty, Obsession, and the Natural History Heist of the Century by Kirk W. Johnson

A rollicking true-crime adventure and a thought-provoking exploration of the human drive to possess natural beauty for readers of The Stranger in the Woods, The Lost City of Z, and The Orchid Thief.

On a cool June evening in 2009, after performing a concert at London’s Royal Academy of Music, twenty-year-old American flautist Edwin Rist boarded a train for a suburban outpost of the British Museum of Natural History. Home to one of the largest ornithological collections in the world, the Tring museum was full of rare bird specimens whose gorgeous feathers were worth staggering amounts of money to the men who shared Edwin’s obsession: the Victorian art of salmon fly-tying. Once inside the museum, the champion fly-tier grabbed hundreds of bird skins–some collected 150 years earlier by a contemporary of Darwin’s, Alfred Russel Wallace, who’d risked everything to gather them–and escaped into the darkness.

Two years later, Kirk Wallace Johnson was waist high in a river in northern New Mexico when his fly-fishing guide told him about the heist. He was soon consumed by the strange case of the feather thief. What would possess a person to steal dead birds? Had Edwin paid the price for his crime? What became of the missing skins? In his search for answers, Johnson was catapulted into a years-long, worldwide investigation. The gripping story of a bizarre and shocking crime, and one man’s relentless pursuit of justice, The Feather Thief is also a fascinating exploration of obsession, and man’s destructive instinct to harvest the beauty of nature.

7. Educated: A Memoir by Tara Westover

An unforgettable memoir in the tradition of The Glass Castle about a young girl who, kept out of school, leaves her survivalist family and goes on to earn a PhD from Cambridge University

Tara Westover was 17 the first time she set foot in a classroom. Born to survivalists in the mountains of Idaho, she prepared for the end of the world by stockpiling home-canned peaches and sleeping with her “head-for-the-hills bag”. In the summer she stewed herbs for her mother, a midwife and healer, and in the winter she salvaged in her father’s junkyard.

Her father forbade hospitals, so Tara never saw a doctor or nurse. Gashes and concussions, even burns from explosions, were all treated at home with herbalism. The family was so isolated from mainstream society that there was no one to ensure the children received an education and no one to intervene when one of Tara’s older brothers became violent.

Then, lacking any formal education, Tara began to educate herself. She taught herself enough mathematics and grammar to be admitted to Brigham Young University, where she studied history, learning for the first time about important world events like the Holocaust and the civil rights movement. Her quest for knowledge transformed her, taking her over oceans and across continents, to Harvard and to Cambridge. Only then would she wonder if she’d traveled too far, if there was still a way home.

Educated is an account of the struggle for self-invention. It is a tale of fierce family loyalty and of the grief that comes with severing the closest of ties. With the acute insight that distinguishes all great writers, Westover has crafted a universal coming-of-age story that gets to the heart of what an education is and what it offers: the perspective to see one’s life through new eyes and the will to change it.

8. The Wicked + The Divine, Vol. 7 and 8 by Kieron Gillen, Stephanie Hans, André Lima Araújo, Matt Wilson, Kris Anka, Jen Bartel

In the past: awful stuff. In the present: awful stuff. But, increasingly, answers.

Modernist poets trapped in an Agatha Christie Murder Mystery. The Romantics gathering in Lake Geneva to resurrect the dead. What really happened during the fall of Rome. The Lucifer who was a nun, hearing Ananke’s Black Death confession. As we approach the end, we start to see the full picture. Also includes the delights of the WicDiv Christmas Annual and the Comedy special.

9. Mister Miracle by Tom King and Mitch Gerads

Mister Miracle is magical, dark, intimate and unlike anything you’ve read before.

Scott Free is the greatest escape artist who ever lived. So great, he escaped Granny Goodness’ gruesome orphanage and the dangers of Apokolips to travel across galaxies and set up a new life on Earth with his wife, Big Barda. Using the stage alter ego of Mister Miracle, he has made quite a career for himself showing off his acrobatic escape techniques. He even caught the attention of the Justice League, who has counted him among its ranks.

You might say Scott Free has everything–so why isn’t it enough? Mister Miracle has mastered every illusion, achieved every stunt, pulled off every trick–except one. He has never escaped death. Is it even possible? Our hero is going to have to kill himself if he wants to find out.

10. The Band, #1–2

Clay Cooper and his band were once the best of the best — the meanest, dirtiest, most feared crew of mercenaries this side of the Heartwyld.

Their glory days long past, the mercs have grown apart and grown old, fat, drunk – or a combination of the three. Then an ex-bandmate turns up at Clay’s door with a plea for help. His daughter Rose is trapped in a city besieged by an enemy one hundred thousand strong and hungry for blood. Rescuing Rose is the kind of mission that only the very brave or the very stupid would sign up for.

It’s time to get the band back together for one last tour across the Wyld.

PHEW. Did you guys read any of those books? Did you like them? Hit me up!

The books I read in 2018:

Okay, thank you for reading. Keep a weather eye out for the next post, hopefully very soon.

My Ten Favourite Books from 2018 It's been a whole year since I posted last. Part of me wants to apologise for being gone so long, but mostly I'm just glad that I'm here.

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pinksweatergettingbetter · 7 years ago

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warning, the following has mainly snarky (and possibly furious) opinions on Spirit of Justice. Reader discretion is advised.

ok guys. its the final ending for REALS this time.

Amara’s been shot after lying for approximately half a decade, boobs AND secrets were exposed, Dhurke was momentarily a good father and everything is exhausting.

now, for the actual final chapter of this ball-gripping tale.

“If she did shoot Amara, she’s not gonna get away with it!! Not on my watch!!” ok apollo do remember that youre still an unarmed foreign man with an occupation that makes you an outcast and also you’re 5′5″ up against a literally queen with followers proven to kill for her

a 50/50 chance of survival

so an Engarde/Vera/Hostages situation then

“...That Ga’ran! Justice will be served.”

ok APollo’s dialogue writers have officially opened the Stock Phrases barrel.

ok so Rayfa... maybe knows she’s Amara’s daughter? if so i love her like 10 times more. she actually put 2 and 2 together.

“...How are YOU, Horn Head?”

BLESS HER

Datz: :( Dhurke is dead guess the revolution is over

yeah i guess there’s nobody to defend you from pulling bullshit like throwing firecrackers at kids anymore, is there, Vore Machine? Cause I doubt Behleeb would stand for that shit.

yeesh. talk about weak ass resolve.

when Mia died Phoenix didn’t wallow in depression, he got his ass up and went to defend her sister.

Datz: Hey Apollo! Because I’m a lazy fuckwad, if you don’t prove Ga’ran guilty, the revolution is over and our country is doomed! Good luck!

god even when he’s actually taking things seriously he’s a shithead. like really? if the trial goes south, that’s it? no more revolution? despite how much the trial has /already/ done to rile up your supporters?? what kind of a revolutionary are you?!

Ready or not, here comes Justice!

god yes lets end this

hey where’s Sadmad

maybe he went with his mom to make sure they didn’t just kill her at the hospital.

ohhh. i see. they haven't announced it yet but thats actually pretty clever of her– Sadmad’s the final blockade to fall. Accuse him of the murder, carry off Amara to be ‘healed’, and then uh... do nothing about the rebels because apparently they’re not even interested in a revolution anymore.

yeeeeeep it’s sadm–

SEXY PAN UP SHOT FOR NAHYUTA

hey Perceive you should be kicking it about now.

well that IS leading the witness, apollo.

y’know, considering Ga’ran is a monarch, she could pardon Nahyuta for his crime. I mean, he’s still useful to her.

“The law, Nahyuta? Or the queen?”

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

“problematic testimony”

s top... using that word... pls

“The holy mother does not condone killing in her name” but her sister’s name??? fuck yes murder that shit up

just say Lady Kee’ra told you to do it and you’re off the hook sadmad

ok... so Dhurke rescued Amara when Nahyuta was ten, (15 years ago) and he met her at that point. Apollo got shipped off to America when he was nine... And since Nahyuta is a year older than Apollo, that would make that the very same year. Ah– and confirmed by Apollo himself. Guess he just missed her.

“Sorry Apollo– I’m getting my wife back and we need your bed... See you in 15 years!”

“Mr. Justice. Know that Dhurke sent you away so that you would not be caught up in the life we led.” oK??? but why didn’t he send Nahyuta away too? it’s literally been stated that Nahyuta was totally outcasted, and even worse, now we find out he had to live constantly on the run. A ten year old.

Why not send Nahyuta off to America with his brother, and bring them back when everything was safe?

Apollo: But Dhurke said that pic was from 23 years ago!!

tbh i have no idea why theyre still trying to cover up Rayfa’s true parentage. cause i dont think the shame of her being related to a rebel really matters at this point.

my brain is pea soup

“If Rayfa comes out as the daughter of Dhurke, everyone will hate her like they hated me!”

...except we just got done basically freeing him of all wrongdoing and that was the end goal of the revolution, thus making this utterly meaningless.

...wait. this isn’t the only thing Garan was threatening to do to Rayfa, was it???

holy fuck. thats it. no threats of murder or assault; just “ill tell everyone that her dad’s Dhurke”

despite the fact that even IF she got kicked out of the royal family, she would still be the next queen since the queen Must be a spirit medium, and Rayfa is the only other medium in the country??

but whatever, i ... fuck it, whatever.

this is just a straight up rehash of Simon and Athena anyway, preceded by a rehash of Trials and Tribulations.

“You are an innocent party in this”

damn right she is

“I just gave up overthrowing the queen because she said she’d tell everyone your dad was a bad man”

good fucking lord, no wonder the revolution didnt get anywhere. NOBODY believed in it, even from the fucking start.

god the longer this goes on, the less afraid I am of Ga’ran. hell, considering the police’s skill level, i could probably just deck her in the face and then sprint out the door and id get away with it.

Apollo: The Edgeworht I knew–– fuck, the Simon I knew–– shit, fuck, damnit–– The NAHYUTA I knew would NEVER let himself be turned into this!!

“This hope in your heart is what binds me, Dhurke and you as a family”

yeah whatever

boy everyone really WAS depending on Dhurke. No Dhurke, can’t do shit.

thats just... depressing.

“I have to protect her from being outed as the child of Dhurke!!” he yells in the middle of court surrounded by witnesses who can probably figure this shit out for themselves

“..............Really? Nothing at all? Could an exceptional lawyer like Dhurke try that long and really uncover nothing at all? He had over two decades, Apollo.”

IM WHEEZING

I KNOW THIS ISN’T WHAT HE’S SAYING BUT IT FUCKING SOUNDS LIKE HE’S SAYIGN “uhhh i fuckin did it in SEVEN years"

oh my god!! oh shit!!

thank god real-life physics dont apply to fire-smoke in the AA universe or else lil baby apollo would be dead in like 2 seconds

OH MY GOD OH NO

APOLLO JUST STRAIGHT UP FLIPPED OUT OF HIS ARMS

I HOPE HIS SWADDLING IS REALLY PADDED

JESUS CHRIST

noooo god. now I'm genuinely distressed

why'd Rayfa bring up the lighter evidence?? thats not something to do with Jove’s last thoughts

“Someone attempted to assassinate Queen Amara by settling her residence ablaze”

me: who's the motherfucker in the shiny thing

hrhrhhghg looking at baby apollo is hurting the horrible gremlin mother inside me pls let me just find the contradiction soon

ᶫᵒᵒᵏ ᵃᵗ ʰᶦˢ ᶜᵘᵗᵉ ᶫᶦᵗᵗᶫᵉ ᶠᵃᶜᵉ ʷᶦᵗʰ ʰᶦˢ ᵗᶦᶰʸ ᶠᵘᶜᵏᶦᶰ ᶫᶦᵗᵗᶫᵉ ʰᵃᶦʳ

OH ITS A HAND

OHHHHHHHH

>ENHANCE<

“Peasants”

whoa go back to old timey tumblr your malevolence

“It shall still be I who shall decide Rayfa’s fate.”

uh pretty sure you won’t cause your guilt just got proven in front of tonnes of witnesses and the rebels can legitimately just whisk Rayfa to safety right now, right? like. you’re not queen anymore. you lost. Rayfa is already queen at this second if Amara doesn’t make it.

“The child lives only by my good graces”

ok at least we know murder was on the table. but also Ga’ran you’re literally dead on the spot you can’t do this anymore

does she uh. maybe know anything about Russian history, perhaps..? if i was her id be sneaking out the back way real fuckin quick

well Sadmad its a little less impressive that youve finally decided to defy her when there’s literally nothing left to defy but... meh.

“I believed protecting your secrets was in the best interest of his kingdom...”

WHY

WHAT

WHY??

“In all this time, not once did I reflect on my own conduct -- for I had believed all was fate”

did he just admit he happily acted like a fuckhead under the excuse “oh well, fate’s fate! better be an enormous shithead!!”

yeah, Sadmad?? doesn’t fucking fly.

the DD’s salute looks like they’re catching a kiss

( Now, if we could just prove Ga’ran’s guilt... )

YOU JUST DID. YOU HAD A FUCKING WITNESS

“For the cuffs could have been stolen and used without my knowledge”

you have actual octopus hair

you’ve visibly threatened the life of your own daughter

everything about you is evil and your shit system convicts people on a dime

id say witnessing those cuffs is enough evidence.

oh i just realized Sadmad and Amara do the same head-down hand-symbol pose. cute

“we gotta find the clothes– if we can, then–”

oh god. oh god. i dont like where this is going

siblings unite to piss off auntie

oh god

OH GOD

CORPSE CLOTHES

SHE STRIPPED AND REDRESSED A CORPSE

I DIDN’T WANT THIS

“Because even Monarchs aren’t above the law.”

hell yeah

"Haha. If you convict me, Nahyuta will die for using fake testimony to protect me!”

a) it was under duress, i’d say thats exempt from the law

b) when you go, you’re no longer the queen. you have no power to enforce a law YOU wrote. Amara/Rayfa will abolish the law and pardon Nahyuta

you really are grasping at moron straws aren't you??

“I hate it too but its the law of the land. And as you said, nobody is above the law.”

you people have the brains of protozoa

“She wants us to let her off scot-free? And yet, I don’t see any other choice...”

phoenix, ho-humming about how he had basically the same dilemma in JFA and he convicted engarde anyway

babe,,, you cant make laws anymore,,, you lost. just give up jesus christ. er, holy mother.

oh this is where the SEX! SEX! SEX! gif is from heheh

garan if you kill them you’ll have a courtroom full of witnesses and even the most brainwashed of your subjects won’t stand for a straight up massacre

and if you dont want witnesses you’ll have to kill them all

covering that up’ll be pretty hard. along with the fact that this will only piss off the resistance more

you’re really spiralling here your malevolence

oh my god we didnt need that to be voice acted

HSHDGDJ

Phoenix: shut UP apollo!!! w-we’re gonna die!!!

“I cannot lose you to the twilight realm too!”

aren’t you heading there together? ...that is kinda sweet tho.

alright, enough griping– lets just treat this like a nice big finish.

this music is weird though i gotta say

Apollo: time to face death and laugh!

Phoenix: heheh, yeah, heheh– [signalling to the gallery] TAKE CARE OF TRUCY FOR ME

“Two auspicious creatures dwell within you– a fierce dragon and a virtuous Phoenix.”

im gonna assume the japanese version of the line was “boy ya got double the dragon power up in you”

your playbook huh phoenix

heheh

oh shit

logic

i forgot about that

wow. i love that “the queen literally committed several murders, fraud and basically ruined out country” doesn’t mean anything, but “our queen doesn’t have magic powers” is enough to kick her out on the fucking spot

as much as this ending is kinda stupid, i do appreciate the sheer amusement value of backing Garan into an impossible corner

sjkhdhjshj

and in front of her creepy guards

ur diarrhoea garan indeed!!

“I want a lawyer!”

[bart voice] the ironing is delicious

o man... I'm laugh

the collective emotion here is ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

hes goNNA THROW DOWN

oh no she’s gone try

“HRRRRGGH”

it usually doesn't involve shitting yourself but youre trying

garan: [does the Macarena]

ohhhh yikes

“It seems... she now believes that she herself is the Holy Mother.”

oh boy.

“Whyd she try to kill her sister??”

bro,,,,, it

never mind. also, Inga was actually going to stage a coup??

wow this is just misty and morgan on a gargantuan scale isn't it

OH! THEY MIGHT EXPLAIN THIS

“why did amara even listen to garan in the first place?”

“My mother is a gentle soul who loves her sister. So when Ga’ran told her to hide because Dhurke was out to kill her, she believed it.”

...

“What’s more, she did not wish to tarnish the name of her beloved sister...”

.......

“That is why she acquiesced so obediently to Ga’rans request to keep channeling for her.”

.............

“Until she fled with Dhurke and was told the truth, that is.”

wh––

“But since Rayfa was being held captive... I imagine Amara had no choice but to help cover up the truth behind Inga’s murder.”

THAT DOESN’T ACCOUNT FOR THE TIME BEFORE AND DURING HER PREGNANCY. WHAT THE FUCK WAS SHE DOING THEN!?

AMARA.

“Well, that was a trial for the ages.” You said it, K-judge.

“Dhurke... I hope you’re watching...” well you retconned people being conscious in the spirit world so no, he isn’t.

“Nah, it was all you.”

baw, nick.

here we go. here’s the phoenix/apollo interaction we’ve always wanted. its just a shame it has to be in this game...

maya: :D PRAISE ME TOO

phoenix: trucy!? how'd you get here?

trucy: its maaaagic :D

edgeworth: i was nearly arrested at the airport for suspected human trafficking.

D: RAYFA NO SAD

tbh rayfa is the best character here.

I'm literally actually smiling with genuine joy as she steps up to the queenly plate. may the Holy Mom bless and keep her.

“Big B...B...”

BABY

“Buh..?”

“B-B-B... Br...”

SHES TRYING SO HARD

YOU CAN DO IT BABE

(cries)

“straight through without doing any serious damage”

wow lucky shot

i wonder if this was the same guy who “sniped” the phantom

you know... on one hand, I'm glad Apollo’s come into his own. But I also hate that he’s leaving the series this way.

It’s not the fact that Apollo is getting his own office, even in a different country– that’s not half bad. But the way they’ve left everything unfinished, and the way they’ve tossed his character around like a hacky-sack... I just can’t accept this as a “happy” ending for the character.

wait why is the revolution still being spoken about– isn’t it over, technically..? i mean, they won... the rebuilding part isn’t really a revolution, is it?

well anyway. I’m happy for Apollo, but not for Apollo Justice. you know what I mean?

“I... I’m sorry guys... Capcom just can’t be bothered with me anymore. I’ll remember you fondly...”

Klavier, from the Capcom storehouse: he WHAT

“But someday... I’ll return to the US!”

[squints]

heh... goodbye, Man Cub. you’re off to the human village. and as for us, it’s back to the jungle.

“We must never stagnate, but continue to grow and change.”

phoenix: uh huh!!

god the voice acting... its so bad...

Dhurke: hello son... I'm a butterfly now!

oh no you dont– dont you dare play us out on a jazzy version of apollos theme >:T

HEY I JUST REMEMBERED

NOBODY CHANNELED GOD.

I WANTED TO SEE GOD DAMN IT

baby Faith.

Datz: Faith! Grow up to be a horrible guy like me!

Faith: [tiny baby middle finger extends]

good child. he takes after his mum

haha eat shit dickquill

..also who are you calling “old chum”

aww pearly you can wear as many city girl outfits as you want ;w;

.......just no slim white dresses

Sadmad: I know I’m a total fuckwad in court but does she have to call me a silly name :’(

sadmad... youre getting off so, so easy

oh hey. this game didn’t end with an OBJECTION!

“Don’t you think it’s about time we told them the truth?”

ohhh you mother fuckers. you absolute asswipes.

huh... an after scene??

“Case backlog” jesus

...ohhh here’s the huh huh huh OBJECTION

“From legal advice to investigating extramarital affaires– even yak milking!”

uhh

DJF ITS FREE

HAHA

heh. i like it when you can use the mic for that.

well, it looks like that’s the end. i made it through SOJ. I gotta say, I don’t feel anywhere near as soul crushingly miserable as i thought I would. I’ve got a lot to think about for my final thoughts... guess i’ll get to that tomorrow morning.

anyway– it’s been a pleasure writing all this shit and going through this whole thing with you guys– err, whoever reads these, haha.

I may come off like a dick, but honestly it comes from a place of deep, deep love for a series that's helped me in so many ways. Here’s hoping AA7 will bring us a new, crazy adventure.

so, i’ll seeya next time. possibly with a much more lighthearted play by play of PL VS AA :)

[deep inhale]

#soj spoilers #sulking over SOJ #iiiiits long #but not as mean as you might think #finally finished guys]#seeya in the next one!]

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unworthy-stars · 8 years ago

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Red Roses and Red Cheeks

Last week an anon requested something GerIta and as I promised here it is. It is in Flourist AU with Ludwig (Germany) being the shopkeeper:

Not a single soul could be seen near "Beilschmidt's", a flower shop in the narrow streets of Venice. Perhaps it was the weird name of the owner, Ludwig Beilschmidt. Apparently he had no Italian origin, something distracting the mere tourist from the Italian aura of the city. Something with German routes couldn't possibly sell in a vera Italiana citá.

Quite an irony cause Ludwig was selling first and fairmost Italian flowers. Mostly little bushes, but also blossoms such as lilies, daisies and poppies. All plants mattered to him and each one had importance and effect on him.

His shop was really colourful and approachable. All kinds of colours painted every corner of the small room and the road, but no one was eager to enter and pay attention to any of his plants. Red, pink, white, blue and purple were strokes of the huge painting of his unremarkable shop.

One spring day, Ludwig was humming his favourite song while he was taking care of some azaleas. He felt quite lonely as he had left his family back in Berlin. It was just him and his flowers in a quiet room. They were the ones feeling him with comfort.

'Buongiorno!' an Italian almost broke the glass door of the shop 'Vogli-'

'English speaker. Still in the process of learning Italian.' he said unconciously.

After realising his huge blunder he had made he ran to his very first customer and tried to hold him back 'Scuza mi signore...eh...primo...k-kunde' he couldn't remember the word for "customer".

'Oh, I am your first customer. No need to worry, I can understand English. I am also a student of Italian philology so I am kind of an Italian teacher ve!'

The German dried his sweat and smiled at his customer. The man was surely from the Mediterranean. Tanned skin, almond eyes, brunet and a slim body. He wore a loose white shirt and matched it with brown trousers. The cross necklace around his neck was apparent.

'Una rosa per favore!'

'Bianca o...' Ludwig couldn't remember the other colours.

'Rossa!' he pointed at the red ones.

'Ros-sa?' he ran to the corner of the red roses and cut one 'Una?'

'Si, una!' the Italian smiled at him.

Ludwig pointed at the bows. The customer nodded negatively and so Ludwig handed him the pretty rose.

The little Italian widened his eyes with excitement. The rose was indeed beautiful. So beautiful he squeezed it on his chest and smiled.

'Grazie mille!' he thanked the florist.

Ludwig smiled back at his first customer. He was so gracefully touching the rose, with such delicance and attention. Hid over-excitement though led to him wound himself by the sharp thorns of the flower's body. The Italian didn't look scared as he was staring at his red by the blood hand. He would be if he wasn't used to seeing it.

'Eh-eh let me take my first aid kit! I'll find a bandage for your fingers!' he seriously didn't know any Italian.

He rushed to get the red and white box with all the necessary medical treatment. When he discovered it under a bunch of gardening scissors he didn't hestitate to apply the antiseptic and wrap the bandages around the Italian's long fingers.

'I am Ludwig Beilschmidt apparently. I own the shop,' he introduced himself to the customer.

'Feliciano.' he replied with a giggle.

Ludwig wrapped the Italian's pinky finger tightly and gave him the rose again, but this time with all thorns cut. Feliciano smiled as he exitted the shop with the red rose in his right hand.

Ludwig stared at the glass door for a minute before realising that he was daydreaming. That Feliciano was his very first and only customer. That gave him hope that more friends of his would pay a visit to the small hidden shop.

All his dreams were crushed when Feliciano entered the shop again asking for an other red rose. Ludwig laughed when the student sneezed because of the bell purple flowers. They were known for being constant troublemakers.

'Here's your flower!' he handed him the rose.

'Grazie signore Beilschmidt!'

'Ludwig, just Ludwig. We must be around the same age anyways,'

Ludwig had dropped his studies on agriculture to run the shop. His whole family was attached to this industry, even if it was back in Germany. Even his brother, known to be a complete savage, had a fondness of it, especially the ground texture. How could he disappoint the decent?

'Oh...I see! See you tomorrow! Arrivederci!' Feliciano waved his hand and exitted with the rose in his palm.

Ludwig thought he blushed for a moment, but it turned out to be some jasmine blossoms touching his pale cheek. The thought of seeing the Italian boy again was a really exciting idea and gave him hope. He would give a shot in happiness once again.

When he was younger Ludwig had experienced a heavy heartbreak. He might indeed have been eight years old but he fell in love with a really pretty girl from Italy. Her charismatic drawing, her eagerness and usefulness were enough for him to fall for her. His brother had also pointed out she had pretty curves, but he didn't understand what that meant.

At a time, his father forced little Ludwig to stop hanging out with the cute girl and they moves away from that village. He never saw her again.

That's why he thought he would find her in Italy, the reason he moved so far away. It had all been for a stupid childhood unrequited crush.

The way Feliciano had embraced the hurful rose the precious day made him remember how his Italian girl used to hug her broomstick. Bravely, hiding the pain of holding something they actually hate and with more love than anyone else. These closed eyes seeing everything.

And as Feliciano had promised, he indeed came the next day to buy an other day. And the one after that. And the one following. Daily. Ludwig couldn't receive so many roses and certainly not take care of every single one.

That's when Feliciano changed his preference from red roses to pink roses and then to white. Ludwig couldn't stop giving his precious roses to the generous customer, no matter how absurd the whole situation looked. He had to earn money somehow.

One day Ludwig decided to go to Feliciano's house, just to say hello. He had been feeling down and lonely and Feliciano was the closest he had to a friend. He had also been that naive to give Ludwig his exact address.

Feliciano's letters were calligraphical. They were more circular than usual and gave them a romantic character. The dots were little lined hearts, matching his weird hair curl. That revealed his childish personality.

As he was walking near the canal he noticed something weird floating on the water. It looked like blood in the water. Ludwig checked again. He focused more and concluded that it wasn't what he had assumed at first...but it was his very own rose!

Going towards the origin of the rose blossom he came across other similar roses. Somewhen pink and white ones joined the rest. The waves doffed some pretty rose blossoms. Ludwig had the honour to grab one.

When he had reached Feliciano's residence, he dropped the rose he held in the sight of a tailor's shop. Inside it a similar to Feliciano boy was working on a fabric. However he wasn't Feliciano.

He wondered why his pretty flowers were dropped in one of Venice's canals. Did his only customer not like them? What could be wrong with such magnificent flowers?

Sad, tired and disappointed he returned to his little shop to water the chrysanthema. His flowers were his only support in times like this. They reminded him that he wasn't a complete failure and that he had done something useful and remarkable. Somehow their little petals were moving, talking to him, advising him.

After a sleepless night, Ludwig decided to head downstairs to the shop. He looked really pale and ready to be taken by Death's cold hands regardless of his young age. His dull blue eyes stared at the cieling in hope something interesting would happen up there. His hands played with the bows.

'Buonasera!' the ring went off when the familiar boy entered the shop again 'Una bianca signore Ludwig!'

He unconciously headed to the rose spot to cut the wanted rose. When he realised he had already got there he stopped, scissors in his right hand. He sighed and tried to smile to the unfaithful man.

'So, how does the lucky signorina look like?' he asked.

'There is no signorina I give the roses to,' he paused for a bit ', I have decided to give my love to someone else!'

Ludwig perfectly understood what Feliciano meant by that and he tried to remain calm. He hadn't met many homosexuals before and this was said a bit suddenly. Did Feliciano trust him that much to come out so easily?

He hoped that his assumption was right and there was nothing else involved such as love for his religion or his love and dedication to his studies and perhaps work. Or else he would be really embarassed he had thought of the first scenario.

'Is he the person you buy the roses for?' Ludwig asked to make sure.

'He is the person who gives me the roses.' Feliciano admitted with confidence.

Ludwig blushed not expecting the answer. He was truly flatterned but he didn't know if he could love a man. Or generally love, after the heartbreak he had experienced.

'In the past I loved a German kid whose art skills were worse than a monkey's, but he had a passion for flowery.' the Italian scratched his neck 'These particular flowers you take care of remind me of him so much that I can still feel his presence in this room. So intense are these flower's power that they almost resurrect him from the dead!' he stared at Ludwig's eyes 'And you, you and your German origins, bring back his soul and spirit. I can't help but fall in love with someone that resembles so much him to the point he is almost the same as him!'

Ludwig leaned on him. He put his mouth next to his ear in a centimeter's distance. He let his lips move and whisper those sweet words to his long lost love.

'It is normal to fall in love with someone he looks alike. But wouldn't it be better if you knew he stands right in front of you?' Feliciano's cheeks turned to red 'Afterall it is a totally true love you are experiencing. It would be a waste to lose it because the man in front of you isn't good at confessing. We Germans aren't open and friendly, but we know how to love...occasionaly.' Ludwig paused 'And yes it is possible to fall in love when you are eight years old. Because this is how love works. Unexpectedly. And that's how life works too and brings you your and my beloved one back!'

Feliciano couldn't help but kiss Ludwig. The German replied to it, despite it being something new. And he replied with passion, showing Feliciano how much he loved him and how much he had missed him. Same goes for the Italian.

'Love is a wonderful thing' Feliciano said in order to breathe and let his tears of joy touch Ludwig's also red cheeks while he went for an other kiss.

Two men with red cheeks, four hands on the piano of life, four feet dancing in circles of the waltz, two pairs of eyes to explore the world.

What a wonderful beautiful world it is when it is filled with love.

#anon #request #red roses and red cheeks #gerita #flourist au #flwoers #fanfiction #fanfic #one shot #one-shot

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thegloober · 6 years ago

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NYFF 2018: Divide and Conquer, What You Gonna Do When the World’s on Fire?, Film Noir Revivals

by Odie Henderson

October 5, 2018 |

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One can usually find a few hidden gems in the New York Film Festival Documentary section. This year brings such varied topics as “American Dharma,” Errol Morris’ take on Steve Bannon and “Divide and Conquer,” Alexis Bloom’s exploration of the life of the creator of both MSNBC and Fox News. Subtitled “The Story of Roger Ailes,” Bloom’s fair and balanced film is an often harrowing look at the man directly responsible for the elections of Richard Nixon, George H. W. Bush and that current guy in the White House. Ailes media savvy, which was admittedly brilliant and probably unmatchable, made him a political kingmaker whose reach is still affecting us even after his death in 2017.

“When I go, people are going to say awful things about me,” reads one Ailes quote cited here, along with another that pretty much sums up the philosophy of the current political climate: “If the audience likes you enough, they will forgive you for anything you do wrong.” It’s this kind of media manipulation that Ailes strove for throughout his career. One former Fox News anchor says the network’s main goal was to “rile up the crazies” by keeping them in a state of constant anger and false victimization. The angrier people are, the more glued to the TV they’ll be. And if the message is coming from someone with whom the viewers can identify, they’ll watch every day and the money will just pour into the pockets of Ailes and his boss, Rupert Murdoch.

Bloom interviews several people, some of whom are surprising talking heads. We learn that Austin Pendleton was Ailes’ middle school classmate back in Warren, Ohio. Pendleton gives one of the few portraits of Ailes that doesn’t include his professional life. On that side of the equation, we’ll hear from John Cook, Glenn Beck and former Fox News journalist Alisyn Camerota, who is now on CNN. We’ll see enough clips from Fox News to own the libs (I cop to wanting to pull my eyes out), but Bloom also informs us that Ailes’ first network venture, America First, was eventually taken over and purchased by Bill Gates and rechristened MSNBC. It’s hinted that this coup was the reason Ailes created Fox News.

Bloom also covers the sexual harassment lawsuits and claims that got Ailes kicked out of the kingdom he created. This section is particularly harrowing in the age of Time’s Up and MeToo, culminating in a credible claim that Ailes’ ouster was the first example of someone getting their just desserts as a result of these movements. While Bloom doesn’t interview Gretchen Carlson or Megyn Kelly, she does show several other women who had tales of how rebuffing Ailes’ sexual advances was grounds for him to ruin their careers. Each woman’s pain is vividly on display, even if the harassment happened decades ago.

“Divide and Conquer” shows how Ailes’ tactics and philosophies are still in effect after his demise. We can see and hear it in the GOP Congress members, their constituents and their president, who gets the last word in this film. If you want to get a feel for why the political climate is the way it is now, this portrait of a mad genius is a must-see.

Speaking of Fox News and Megyn Kelly, I recall their warped, overripe coverage of the New Black Panther Party, which was supposed to have been beating up White people who were trying to vote back in 2012. A far more truthful portrayal of a Mississippi branch of the group can be found in Roberto Minervini’s documentary “What You Gonna Do When the World’s on Fire?” Shot in sometimes harsh black and white, Minervini’s camera also observes the camaraderie between two brothers named Ronaldo and Titus as well as chronicles the exploits of Judy Hill, a recovering addict and singer who runs a bar in New Orleans.

As the original Black Panthers did, the New Black Panther party is shown educating people about Black history, feeding homeless people and protesting the police shootings of unarmed Black men. The NBP crew features Krystal Muhammad, a fearless spokesperson who is investigating brutal hate crimes and murders during the film. The group explains its mission for viewers, but we can also deduce what they’re goals are just by watching them interact with the neighborhood. Their protests ultimately lead to a confrontation with the police, which Minervini unflinchingly records for posterity.

Minervini supplements the New Black Panthers’ story with scenes involving the brothers and their mother and Judy’s time in the bar. The film is comfortable just letting its subjects talk and tell their stories, with several standout scenes for all involved. Judy has an excellent scene sharing her story with current addicts, and the brotherly scenes will intrigue and touch anyone who’s ever had a brother. At 123 minutes, “What You Gonna Do When the World’s On Fire” becomes a tad redundant as it plays out, and more than once I felt that Minervini’s gaze made his subjects out to be Others. Still, this is an important film about Black life, a good companion piece to the superior “Hale County This Morning, This Evening.”

Since I am the resident film noir addict, I signed up for two restorations playing in NYFF’s Revivals section. The more obscure of the two, 1947’s “The Red House” stars Edward G. Robinson as Pete Morgan, a man with big, nasty secrets that are slowly driving him insane. His sister Ellen (Dame Judith Anderson) has given up a chance at romantic happiness with the town doctor so that she may keep Pete in check and help raise his ward, Meg (Allene Roberts). The Morgan farm is off-limits to the townsfolk, most of whom think the family is too creepy for company.

That changes when Pete asks Meg to invite high school hunk Nath (Lon McCallister) to do some paid chores for him. Meg harbors a secret crush on Nath, but he’s already beholden to the town’s drop-dead gorgeous firebrand Tibby (a deliciously fierce and nasty Julie London). Tibby is the type of bad girl whose never worth the trouble but always worth the time. She thinks Meg is way too homely to take her man, but that doesn’t stop her from throwing major shade at our heroine.

Out of curiosity, and despite Tibby’s objections, Nath accepts Meg’s work offer. Alas, curiosity is the last thing Pete wants running rampant on his farm, especially when it concerns the mysterious red house hidden deep in an even more mysterious and forbidden patch of woods. When Nath mentions he’ll be cutting through those woods as a shortcut to shave an hour off his walk home, Pete goes bonkers. He demands Nath avoid these woods, as they are haunted and potentially deadly. Veteran director Delmar Daves lets us think Pete has a point by staging a scary encounter that leaves Nath mildly injured.

Neither the woods nor the red house turns out to be literally haunted. But that doesn’t mean that evil forces aren’t present throughout “The Red House,” starting with Pete’s consuming obsessions and branching out to the actions of the sleazy, sexy guardian of Pete’s land, Teller (Rory Calhoun). What happened in the titular house is warped enough for the best of gothic tales. Daves appends these elements with the typical noir ingredients of murder, jealousy, madness, guilt, sex and sin.

“The Red House” is gorgeously shot in black and white by Bert Glennon, whose images are almost Lynchian at times. Merrill White’s editing is masterful—watch for the companion shot that precedes Pete snuffing out a candle with his hand—and Daves’ direction is tight and edgy. Plus, Edward G. Robinson gets a visual send-off that’s simultaneously beautiful and horrifying. Robinson plays it to the hilt, too, succumbing to his fate with more relief than the average noir victim gets to display.

Edgar G. Ulmer’s legendary 1945 classic, “Detour” also gets a much needed restoration, as it has only existed in very poor, scratchy prints that were practically unwatchable. According to the NYFF catalog blurb, this new print is approved by Martin Scorsese himself. As I will not have seen the restored version before press time, I can only speak to the film itself at this moment. A staple of the noir genre, this is a nasty, brutish and short piece of work, clocking in at 68 minutes and proudly displaying its Poverty Row studio origins.

Tom Neal plays Al, a down on his luck drifter who narrates the tale. Before bad luck befell him, he was a virtuoso jazz piano player madly in love with blonde singer Sue Harvey (Claudia Drake). Sue decides to motor west so she can try her luck in Hollywood, leaving Al to follow her once he gets enough dough. But Sue’s not this film’s dangerous woman. That role goes to tough-as-nails Ann Savage, whose Vera doesn’t enter the picture until halfway through its runtime. Savage makes the most of her screen time, spitting her pitch black barbs of dialogue at Al while blackmailing him for a murder he didn’t commit even though he disposed of the dead body. And while it may seem that Vera’s the femme fatale, she’s actually upstaged by fate itself, whose nasty twists prove to Al who the real villain is. After all, you can’t spell fatale without fate.

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systemmalfucktion · 7 years ago

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oc asks stuff i stole and didnt proof read

1. What’s their full name? Why was that chosen? Does it mean anything?

ollie petrov, i chose the name ollie bc i liked it and pretrov is just one of the most common surnames in russia. the meaning isn’t important to his character at all

2. Do they have any titles? How did they get them?

nah

3. Did they have a good childhood? What are fond memories they have of it? What’s a bad memory?

he had a decent childhood and grew up in a high income family but suffered the Neglect from daddy. his fondest memories are w childhood friends, bad memory would be Neglect from daddy and mommy and living in fear

4. What is their relationship with their parents? What’s a good and bad memory with them? Did they know both parents?

he loved his mama lots until she walked out on him, he didn’t understand why and he resented her A Lot, when he came to understand why she did it he thought she was a coward and resented her A Lot More. he never forgives her for it over the course of the entire story

he cared for his dad maybe when he was younger but after his mom left he was basically sent off elsewhere. he made no efforts to talk to his dad over the phone or ask for visits bc he was completely content with not seeing him. after a bit he literally just hates his dad bc of Plot Related Issues, when they have their own fucked up version of Dad to Son talk later he word vomits every thing he hates about him and the dads like “ya i figured this would happen the moment u came outta mamas pussy. dammit”

5. Do they have any siblings? What’s their names? What is their relationship with them? Has their relationship changed since they were kids to adults?

no sibs

6. What were they like at school? Did they enjoy it? Did they finish? What level of higher education did they reach? What subjects did they enjoy? Which did they hate?

he was really good in school and used it as an outlet to pour all his attention into bc he liked the satisfaction it gave him when he got good grades, he planned on going to college until Plot Related Issues derailed his life. he liked the English Language and didn’t care for like science n shit

7. Did they have lots of friends as a child? Did they keep any of their childhood friends into adulthood?

when he was growing up he was just a friendly nice only kid so he liked to treat friends like his family so he was well liked, when he moved away he lost all contact with anyone there. friends he makes in russia when he first moves there are mostly also left behind, hes Big on leaving places thats 4 sure

8. Did they have pets as a child? Do they have pets as an adult? Do they like animals?

no pets as a child, he likes animals and is a cat person but didnt see a reason to get a pet

9. Do animals like them? Do they get on well with animals?

animals are probably chill with him, i imagine any instance with animals is probably just a chill one

10. Do they like children? Do children like them? Do they have or want any children? What would they be like as a parent? Or as a godparent/babysitter/ect?

same w animals, hes just chill. kids probably would like him bc hes relaxed and not strict. he likes the idea of being traditional and starting a family but he truly doesn't see it happening for him given Plot

11. Do they have any special diet requirements? Are they a vegetarian? Vegan? Have any allergies?

nope he eats whats put in front of him almost always

12. What is their favourite food?

probs like a soup or something warm and filling

13. What is their least favourite food?

Get Those Damn Avocados Away

14. Do they have any specific memories of food/a restaurant/meal?

when he went out to restaurants with his ma and pops as a child, or when way later his roommate Matt cooks for him when he was goin thru sum shit

15. Are they good at cooking? Do they enjoy it? What do others think of their cooking?

he doesnt cook anything complicated at all, when shopping for himself its a lot of instant food bc hes cheap and doesnt care to put a lot of effort into his food. others either dont care or thinks its unhealthy

16. Do they collect anything? What do they do with it? Where do they keep it?

ive thought of this a lot and its mostly momentos, not that it matters bc every item he gets from someone is eventually left behind when he leaves russia as Symbolism. the collection serves almost no purpose bc of how often he Jumps Ship when it comes to relationships w other human beings but thats kinda the point

17. Do they like to take photos? What do they like to take photos of? Selfies? What do they do with their photos?

hes fine with pictures like selfies w ppl or scenery until hes in america, where he is convinced any pictures he takes or pictures hes in will end up being the reason hes found out. but in russia he liked taking silly pictures of just stuff around him. its like on instagram u dont know what someone looks like until u looked at what they were tagged in kinda, crappy over filtered pics of stuff around him like trees or windows. 1 of those instagrams....

18. What’s their favourite genre of: books, music, tv shows, films, video games and anything else

he likes those shitty kind of john green novel types with the manic pixie dream with the wallflower type, indie music, documentaries or crime related, video games that are story driven rather than multiplayer. just ur average Introverted Bro

19. What’s their least favourite genres?

sci fi or anything BORING like that

20. Do they like musicals? Music in general? What do they do when they’re favourite song comes?

doesnt care for musicals but likes music, he gets really focused when his favorite song comes on bc he wants to appreciate it if its on and hes not focused on it he will play it over again to Appreciate it.

21. Do they have a temper? Are they patient? What are they like when they do lose their temper?

he has a temper but hides it well but if u manage to get him to actually lose him temper he will glare at u until its his turn to speak and argue u 1 response before he Fucks Right Off meaning if it doesnt end right there Boy’s Got A Grudge. it doesnt happen often bc hes not huge on confrontation, the reason why goes from social anxiety when he was 14 to PSTD when he was 16

22. What are their favourite insults to use? What do they insult people for? Or do they prefer to bitch behind someone’s back?

i dont know about favorite insults but he manages to stay polite in the face of people, and bitches about them to sergei when he can

23. Do they have a good memory? Short term or long term? Are they good with names? Or faces?

good memory and with faces for sure

24. What is their sleeping pattern like? Do they snore? What do they like to sleep on? A soft or hard mattress?

he doesnt stay up very late all that often until he has a reason to (heists n whatnot) he sleeps on an old mattress twin sized, p soft

25. What do they find funny? Do they have a good sense of humour? Are they funny themselves?

hed probably have normie humor b4 he met the shitpost that is (i had 2 rename her bc i forgot her fuckin russian name kms but this is a name on doulingo a lot so i wont forget hopefully) vera, her humor is like my mains shitposts so hed find that stuff funny after a bit. he doesnt make many jokes

26. How do they act when they’re happy? Do they sing? Dance? Hum? Or do they hide their emotions?

hes good at hiding emotions but when hes happy abt something (thankful for ex) he’ll make it known to them, good times w friends he’ll basically mirror what they’re doing, happy when he’s by himself would be a jittery smiling Fool

27. What makes them sad? Do they cry regularly? Do they cry openly or hide it? What are they like they are sad?

lots make him sad, his daddy issues, roommate issues, mental health n shit. he cries a few times and tries to be secretive about it, over time he’s not that ashamed to cry in front of sergei given that he’s seen him cry a couple times. when he’s sad he’s even more quiet and sulky. if u made him sad and said u were sorry he’d say he accepted the apology but like the mood wouldn’t lighten up at all.

28. What is their biggest fear? What in general scares them? How do they act when they’re scared?

1. big fear is probably getting hurt/attacked and being helpless (after the Great Stab), after that era he’s basically all up in self defense knowledge to prevent that turn out again. he’s scared of the ppl he deals to and eventually is scared of anyone he doesnt know well (in america, thats everyone outside of matty, joe, and austin) bc of the threat of getting caught by work peers who are looking 4 him.

29. What do they do when they find out someone else’s fear? Do they tease them? Or get very over protective?

if he were to find out someones fear he wouldnt put it against them, if a situation came out where he could protect them from it he would try to do so casually. Nice Guy

30. Do they exercise? Regularly? Or only when forced? What do they act like pre-work out and post-work out?

he doesn’t exercise but if there were a case of him doing so pre would be a motivated Bro ready to get pumped and post would be tired dead man

31. Do they drink? What are they like drunk? What are they like hungover? How do they act when other people are drunk or hungover? Kind or teasing?

he drank a bit in russia, hes the Underage Ollie. Underage Ollie is really clingy to sergei, the only guy he knows in the group of Bros around him, he tries to have a good time and laugh w everyone. hungover he’s sick and pitiful, boo hoo woe is me i feel like shit kinda way. when ollies around drunk sergei imagine this season of morty dealing with rick, like fed the fuck up but caring uknow?

Not Underage Ollie is a lil more fun, he went 2 sum clubs w austin only a few times ;) ;), hungover he was a less whiny version of Underage Ollie. he’s less caring when others are drunk around him bc its austin and austin drinks irresponsibly and is also is ex so SHRUG

32. What do they dress like? What sorta shops do they buy clothes from? Do they wear the fashion that they like? What do they wear to sleep? Do they wear makeup? What’s their hair like?

he dresses comfort over fashion and owns like 3 shirts basically. clothes shopping is not really a priority for him at all, but he does appreciate some aesthetics just not on himself. he sleeps in his panties (undies) with a shirt, doesnt wear makeup. his hair is a mousy brown i guess? its not tamed at all hes got that anime boy protag gohan/luffy/ash hair

33. What underwear do they wear? Boxers or briefs? Lacey? Comfy granny panties?

boxer briefs

34. What is their body type? How tall are they? Do they like their body?

hes a slight young twink man, and in his youth hes like 5′5 and it caps at like 5′10 maybe when he’s an adult. he’s ok w his body but everyones got insecurities

35. What’s their guilty pleasure? What is their totally unguilty pleasure?

guilty pleasure are the john green type shitty novels and the ungulity pleasure is idk! slime vids or something

36. What are they good at? What hobbies do they like? Can they sing?

he’s good at writing i guess (4 school, in english n russian), he likes 2 read, and he can sing but its like generic male voice singing. its just ok

37. Do they like to read? Are they a fast or slow reader? Do they like poetry? Fictional or non fiction?

he likes 2 read and he’s fast i guess, n like i said the genre he likes is that shitty poetic adorkable fictional stuff

38. What do they admire in others? What talents do they wish they had?

he likes when ppl are assertive, not really when assertive @ him, but when they can be assertive in general. he would love to be able to hold any power in any conversation he’s in between ages 0-18

39. Do they like letters? Or prefer emails/messaging?

emails and messages

40. Do they like energy drinks? Coffee? Sugary food? Or can they naturally stay awake and alert?

he can stay awake without any energy boosters for a while

41. What’s their sexuality? What do they find attractive? Physically and mentally? What do they like/need in a relationship?

he’s gay, he likes Boys. he likes nice friendly boys who basically carry out social interactions and are good at not letting things get awkward (this goes for austin and matt and even vera). he needs a lot of space, like an unhealthy amount of space, Like Mayhaps There’s Something Wrong amount of space.

42. What are their goals? What would they sacrifice anything for? What is their secret ambition?

goals: get outta the bis!

sacrifice: friend’s safety/livelihood!

secret ambition/guilty subconscious: get in bis and succeed 2 make papa proud! its a job handed to him that makes BANK and is basically a fallback if his goal doesnt work except he wont admit it to himself

43. Are they religious? What do they think of religion? What do they think of religious people? What do they think of non religious people?

no religion basically, he would probably not be an asshole about it but be kinda an asshole abt religion in private

44. What is their favourite season? Type of weather? Are they good in the cold or the heat? What weather do they complain in the most?

he loves the winter bc he likes being bundled up, overcast sky, he’s good in the cold and he complains abt wet weather (rain and snow)

45. How do other people see them? Is it similar to how they see themselves?

like he’s a troubled navie kid, and he’ll come around when it comes time for him to work. ollie doesnt know about the work he has to do when he’s older for a while, all he knows is that everyone is Preparing him for something. he knows he’s troubled but he doesnt think of himself as stubborn like other ppl do.

46. Do they make a good first impression? Does their first impression reflect them accurately? How do they introduce themselves?

no, most of the time he’s kinda awkward. it reflects him p good :(. he basically just goes “hey im ollie” and depending on who it is he’ll explain what he’s doing like “i have your coke” or “im austins friend. thanks for taking me in”

47. How do they act in a formal occasion? What do they think of black tie wear? Do they enjoy fancy parties and love to chit chat or loathe the whole event?

he’ll act mannerly and polite like he usually does, he likes getting dressed up fancy and being in a fancy space. not one for chit chat but he’s not Hating it

48. Do they enjoy any parties? If so what kind? Do they organise the party or just turn up? How do they act? What if they didn’t want to go but were dragged along by a friend?

he doesnt care for parties i guess, he turns up at them to supply the good stuff and he tries to act like it’s a job, except usually the person he deals with is like ??? y so serious bitch? he’s dragged along by sergei p often, he doesnt complain in front of others but throws fits with him before or after

49. What is their most valued object? Are they sentimental? Is there something they have to take everywhere with them?

Daddys Jacket. its just a winter coat that he wears a lot

50. If they could only take one bag of stuff somewhere with them: what would they pack? What do they consider their essentials?

accurate to what happsn in canon. his clothes, phone, chargers, wallet, and i think that would be it. hes pretty minimalist and doesnt want to be held down by stuff cus when he went to america he did so Swiftly.

0 notes

whump-tr0pes · 5 years ago

Text

Honor Bound 2 - 28

This is a series. Start here, continued from here.

This is a sequel to Honor Bound.

AO3

Cw: y’all, this is where everyone gets their feelings out. Funeral, lots of talking about death: parent death, sibling death, spouse death, brief mention of death of children, mention of fatal car accident, mention of alcoholic abusive parent, aftermath of parental abuse, mention of death due to breast cancer, mention of noncon, mention of blood, mention of death squads killing minors, brief mention of noncon of a minor, self-blame, emesis, disowning, Jesus Christ this got long

Isaac shuffled his feet nervously. “I… I’m sorry. I’ve never done one of these before.”

Tori’s hand rested gently on his shoulder. “That’s okay. Just… say whatever you’d like to say. If you want to talk about him, or… a good time you had together, or something you miss?”

He looked down at the small bouquet of wildflowers he held tight in his hands, crushing the stems until they drooped. “I, um…” He shrugged. “I don’t think I even… remember that much about him at this point. I’m sorry.” He fell a step back. “I should just—”

“Isaac…” He stopped at the sadness in Sam’s voice. “Please don’t go.”

Isaac took a step back into the circle, closer to the fire. He raised his gaze for a moment to Sam, then to Vera. Her face was already glazed with tears and she stared at him with a broken hurt in her eyes. He let his head fall forward. “Okay. I’m sorry. Um.” He swallowed hard and took a deep breath. “So…” He looked at Tori as she squeezed his shoulder again. “My dad’s name was Jonathan. Um. He died when I was… uh… twelve. Um. In a car crash.” He couldn’t help but glance at Gavin, to his left. Gavin was staring into the flames, head bent, his eyes studiously away from Isaac. “He was, um…” Isaac shrugged. “He was a mechanic. He liked his um. Boat. Had a rowboat. And… he would take me out on the lake in it sometimes.” He bowed his head, finished.

Tori looked at him, her hand never leaving his shoulder. “Is that all you want to say, Isaac?”

He felt the sting of tears forming in his eyes and nodded once. “Yeah. I think so.” He held out his hand and dropped the flowers into the fire.

He watched them burn. The petals fluttered and browned, and burst into the flame as the fire licked along the stems, curling them, turning them black. Something very old was rising in him, climbing up through his lungs from his stomach. Tightening his throat. Something he hadn’t felt in a long time. Something that was all wrapped up in blue uniforms and the smell of gin and the very faint feel of his father’s rough hands in his hair. He panicked, tried to push it down. Not in front of them. I haven’t felt this in years, I can’t, not in front of them… He shuddered as Tori reached down and squeezed his hand. He squeezed back and closed his eyes tightly. If I feel it, it’ll level me.

He felt warmth as Tori took a step closer. Maybe it’s okay to be leveled with them. He opened his eyes and looked into the fire. The flowers were burned to ash. Two tears rolled down his cheek. “Um…” He drew in a shaky breath. “Um. He’d take me out on the boat in the summer. We… we couldn’t fish in the lake, but he would have me row, he said it would make me stronger… And sometimes he would row and I’d just, um.” He shivered. “I’d lay in the bottom and stare at the sky and feel the cool on the bottom of the boat and we would just talk. And… he always cooked, not my mom. Except for steaks. She cooked the steaks. But… he cooked for us, all the time. And, um.” Tears rolled freely down Isaac’s cheeks. “He helped me work on my bike. And took us out for ice cream after it would hail.” He sobbed out a laugh and shrugged. “I don’t know why he did that. But he, he would look outside at the hail and say, ‘it’s an ice cream day!’” Isaac licked his lips.

“And when he, um.” Something bitter rippled through his chest. “When he, um. Died. The, the cops, they…” He pushed down a sob. “They um. Came to the door. And t-told my, my mom he was…” He shuddered and whimpered. “…he was… was dead…” His arms wrapped around his stomach. “She um. She screamed and the… cops, um… told me and… they said they were, were sorry, that it was a car accident and someone ran a red light, and I just thought, there’s no way, there’s no way someone could run a red light and kill my dad, he was a good driver, and I didn’t even know you could run a red light. I thought you had to stop.” The words spilled out of him now. “And I, I didn’t understand, he was just here, he went out to buy some milk, and now he was g-gone, and he wasn’t coming back, and he was dead…” He sobbed and trembled as Tori rubbed his arm. Sam pressed against his side and he immediately opened his arm for them. “And I didn’t under, understand that… he wasn’t gonna be there anymore…” Sam buried their head against his chest. “And I… I lost my mom that day, too, because she… she never came back either… After that she was always drunk and never came back…”

Isaac gasped and looked down. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I don’t know if she’s dead, this is… this is for…”

Tori’s hand tightened on Isaac’s arm. “You lost her, too. It’s okay.”

Isaac slid to his knees and pressed his face into his hands. His chest shook with deep wracking sobs, sobs that came from the core of him. Came from that place where he still wanted to feel his mom and dad’s arms around him, their voices telling him they loved him. It was a need he had almost forgotten. It was a need he hadn’t let himself feel in over ten years.

He felt the press of bodies around him. Hands on his shoulders, hands on his head. Whispers. “We love you Isaac.” “Thank you for telling us.” “I’m so sorry.” Sam knelt beside him and pulled him into their arms. He turned and wrapped them in an embrace, burying his face in their hair. Hands at his shoulder pulled him up to standing and he reached out an arm for them, too. He smelled Vera as he pulled her close. She was trembling.

After a while, Isaac pulled away from the tight embraces. He wiped his face with his hands and raised his eyes to the dusky sky. “Um.” He swallowed. “Thank you.” He glanced over to see two figures standing uncomfortably still in the circle around the fire, away from the others. Gavin. Edrissa.

Everyone returned to their spots and Isaac bowed his head. He felt raw. Not torn apart, but like an infected wound had just been cleaned. He raised his gaze to Tori as she started to speak.

“I lost my mom to breast cancer when I was nine,” she said softly, tears standing in her eyes. “We had a good memorial service for her, and I’ve had a long time to mourn her.” She nodded. “But I miss her. I miss her so much. She had the most beautiful singing voice. And she loved flowers. Daffodils, especially.” She glanced down at the wildflowers in her hand. “That’s why I picked these.” She smiled and two tears ran down her cheeks. “Yellow.” She dropped them into the fire.

Vera squeezed Tori’s hand. “Is that all you wanna say, babe?” she said softly. “You can… you can say more, if you want…”

Tori shook her head and rested it on Vera’s shoulder. “No, it’s… it’s alright. It’s been a long time.” Tears ran into Vera’s shirt. “And I’m okay.”

Vera stared into the fire and clutched the flowers in her hand tightly. Tears welled in her eyes and ran over. “Okay. Um.” Her throat worked as she swallowed a sob. “I. Um. Lost my sister. Asa. In the, in the fights.” Her eyes slid shut, sending another cascade of tears down her cheeks. “She w-was killed… two years after I… escaped.” Across the fire, Gavin’s eyes closed. “I didn’t find out un, until… years later.” She opened her eyes and looked down the circle to Gray. “I heard it from one of your friends.” They nodded, remembering. “In the militia we were helping in ’24. She was… was shot… fighting the syndicates.” She blew a breath out through trembling lips. “Doing what she thought was right. Trying to avenge me.” She bit down on her lip and stifled a sob. “And I… regret… being too broken to go back home and, and see my family again.”

She shuddered and a sob ripped from between her clenched teeth. Tori rubbed her back, swaying slowly.

“And… and Ryan…” The word was a sob. “I… I didn’t know… that he was… was dead… this whole time…” She pressed a hand to her mouth. “He, um. He died. Trying to help me.” Her face went horribly blank for a moment. “And Joseph fucked me in Ryan’s blood.”

Gavin flinched. Edrissa whimpered and squeezed her arms around her own waist.

Vera slammed her eyes shut. “Oh, fuck. I’m… I’m sorry. I didn’t mean—”

“It’s okay,” Tori said softly.

“No, I… I don’t wanna talk about that stuff… I wanna talk about Ryan. How good he was.” Vera opened her eyes and laced her fingers through Tori’s, squeezing hard. “He… he was my friend. He was a good man. He never hurt me because he wanted to. He… tried… so hard… to get me out…” She let the tears run freely down her face. “He found my handler, paid the guys to get me out, he was with me every night in that cell. I was never alone.” She lifted her chin and drew in a deep breath. “I’ve been trying to… remember… everything about him. He had light hair and… really clear blue eyes. He… he was taller than me, I remember that… He… We didn’t laugh very much, but he had a nice laugh. And he smelled like some cheap deodorant bodywash thing, I can’t remember what it was called but…” She smiled. “I remember how it smelled.” She let her eyes close. “He always wanted me to be warm. And he… he worried about me drinking enough water. He helped me remember who I was. Remember… there was a world outside the basement he put me in. He would…” Her voice wobbled. “When it got really bad he would clean me up after. And he never…” She licked her lips. “He never let me lose faith entirely. He always promised he would get me out. Right up until… until the moment he died, he was trying to get me out.” Her eyes opened and focused on the fire. “He was a good man.” She dropped the flowers into the fire. They sent up a little puff of embers and ash.

Vera folded against Tori, whimpering softly. Tori smoothed her hand through Vera’s hair.

Gray cleared their throat. “Um. I… I lost a few f-friends. In the, in the skirmishes.” They nodded, their mouth twisting. “Marci. Aaron. Todd. Mike. The other Mike.” They smiled ruefully. “Mike Gates and Mike Johnson.” They pressed their lips together and took a steadying breath. “They were fighting for something they believed in. It doesn’t bring them back. I miss them every day.” Gray sniffed. “But I have to think that’s how they would have wanted to give their lives. I have to believe that.” Their hand opened and they dropped their flowers into the fire.

Ellis was already crying. They let the tears fall as Finn leaned in to press a kiss to their temple. When Ellis opened their mouth to speak, their voice was low and husky. “Um. I… miss… my children. Galen. Chloe. They would be eleven and fourteen now. Chris and I would have been, been married for fifteen years this year.” They whimpered. “And there are some days when I feel like… I can’t breathe without them here.” Ellis laid their head on Finn’s shoulder. “And I will… will always love them. And miss them. And I like to… imagine… they’re all alive somewhere else. Living. Not being afraid.” Finn smiled against Ellis’s hair. “God, I miss them.” They all but threw the flowers into the fire and turned against Finn’s chest, wailing. Finn ran their fingers through Ellis’s hair and let them cry. Their own eyes shone with tears in the firelight.

Ellis’s sobs eased and quieted until they stood in Finn’s arms, weeping softly. Finn wet their lips. “Um… I don’t even know who I lost. After the Junior Defense Corps base got destroyed I… I was too scared to… go back home, even. After a few years I went back home, but… I…” They looked up, blinking rapidly. “My parents weren’t there anymore. I um…” They gulped. “I don’t know if they’re still alive. But my school…” Their face crumpled. “I don’t know who escaped the death squads and who didn’t. My medic education instructor, Instructor Grant…” They pursed their lips and blew out a slow breath. “He, um. Sacrificed him, himself. For us. So we could get away. I wah, watched him get shot.” Ellis’s arms tightened around their waist and they squeezed back. “I wish I knew who was still alive from my class. If any of them are—” Their mouth snapped shut and they heaved a shaking sob. They bowed their head and threw their fistful of flowers into the fire.

Everyone was silent for a moment, watching the flames. One by one, they all looked at Edrissa where she stood next to Finn, biting her lip and keeping her eyes down.

“Edrissa?” Tori said softly. “Is there anything you’d like to say? You can talk about anything you want.”

Edrissa stared into the flames, tears rolling down her cheeks one by one. Finally, she raised her eyes and looked at Vera across the fire. Softly, almost too softly to hear, she said, “I’m like you.”

Vera went still against Tori’s side. “Wh-what?”

Edrissa’s eyes flicked back down to the fire. “I… They… d-didn’t torture me, th-that much. But they… hurt me and I… um…”

Vera stared at Edrissa in horror.

Tori licked her lips. “But you’re a… a child…” she whispered.

“Old enough to know how,” Edrissa said under her breath, with a strange tone to it. She shuddered and focused again on Vera. “But I hoped my, my brother was alive for two years. I didn’t know he was… was dead…” She convulsed forward, her arms going around her stomach again.

A silent look passed between Vera and Tori, and they both walked around the fire to stand at Edrissa’s side.

“Can I touch you?” Vera whispered to Edrissa. She threw herself into Vera’s arms, sobbing like her throat would tear open. Tears ran down Vera’s face as she slowly wound her arms around the girl.

“Can I touch you?” Tori said softly, on her other side. Edrissa nodded against Vera’s chest and Tori wrapped herself gently around them both, holding Edrissa in her embrace. Edrissa sobbed long and hard as they held her together, as if everything she had been through was being torn out of her chest, seeping out of her pores, flowing out with the tears from her eyes. Vera and Tori held her and swayed with her gently, matching their breathing to each other, deep and slow, silently encouraging Edrissa to do the same. After a while, her breathing slowed to tremulous, hitched sobs, then to quiet whimpers. Eventually she was quiet, still wrapped in Tori and Vera’s arms. She lifted a hand to wipe her nose. The flowers brushed her face, forgotten in her hand.

“Oh.” She laughed, a little painfully, and tossed them into the fire. She turned back and wormed her way a little deeper into Vera’s arms.

Sam bit their lip and took a small step forward. “Um…” They looked around the fire. “I… I don’t think I’ve really… lost someone. I… don’t remember my parents, and I… I mean, I’ve had homes but I never really had a… a family before you guys. I’ve known people who died, but…” They shrugged. “I was safe, for a really long time. I was… really lucky I guess.” They looked down at the flowers in their hand. “But I… I do miss them. I miss Corey. He was the one I was closest to in the group I was with when…” They swallowed. “When I had to run. So I don’t know if he…” They gasped softly. “Anyway. This is for him. And all the others I never knew what happened to them.” They dropped the flowers into the fire and watched them burn.

Everyone was silent for a moment. Isaac looked around the fire and saw everyone’s eyes averted from Gavin. Gavin was looking down into the flames, shining lines of tears on his cheeks. His flowers were crushed in his grip. He had his lips pressed together like he was terrified of opening his mouth.

“Gavin?” Gray said softly. Isaac’s head snapped up to look at them. “If you have something to say, you can say it. This is for all of us, including you.”

Gavin raised his gaze to Gray. His eyes looked almost desperate with something Isaac couldn’t place. “How can I—” Gavin’s voice broke and he tried again, shaking his head. “How can I speak when… when the people I’ve lost… destroyed your lives?” He hung his head, staring down at the flowers in his hand.

Gray’s voice was stiff as they navigated carefully. “You still have your grief. It’s alright to have… complicated feelings about it.”

Gavin shuddered and nearly pitched forward in a sob. “I…” He whispered. “I’ve lost… everyone.” He tossed his flowers into the fire, sending up another shower of sparks. He pressed his hands to his face and sobbed.

Isaac stared at Gavin with an open mouth. He’d seen Gavin lose control. When Isaac had beat him. When Isaac had killed that bounty hunter. But it had never occurred to Isaac before that Gavin might… feel something… just like Isaac did. Something besides pain or anger or just goddamn delight in hurting people. Isaac had never realized Gavin might have… feelings. The world permanently shifted a few degrees.

Gavin sank into a crouch, covering his head with his hands as he sobbed. Everyone around the fire stood still, stiff, uncomfortable. Gavin shuddered on the ground, cowering away from the eyes on him, pushing down his sobs until they came out in strangled whimpers.

Sam wiped their hands on their pants, staring down at Gavin. They bit their lip. They took a step closer to Gavin. Knelt down beside him. Gently rested a hand on his back.

Gavin jerked away from the touch, a low wail rising from his throat. Sam’s hand squeezed into a fist. They took a deep breath and pressed their hand to Gavin’s back again, making slow circles.

Gavin slowly raised his head from his hands. When he saw it was Sam kneeling beside him, he dissolved into sobs again and covered his face with one hand. With his other, he reached out and clasped Sam’s.

“I’m sorry,” he whispered. “I’m sorry, I’m so, I’m so fucking sorry, Sam…” he moaned. “I didn’t, I didn’t know, I swear I didn’t know what… what I did, I didn’t know… I didn’t fucking… I’m so goddamn stupid, I didn’t fucking… realize… the… the damage… I didn’t know what it meant when someone hurt, I didn’t know what it felt like, I just knew it felt good and I… god fucking dammit, I’m so stupid, I should have fucking figured it out, and I’m so sorry…” He pitched forward onto all fours, his face getting close to the flames. He crawled backward and settled back on his heels. “I didn’t know how it felt, I should’ve just known but I didn’t, and I regret it, I’m so, I’m so fucking sorry, Sam!”

Tears shimmered on Sam’s face as they rubbed Gavin’s back. Isaac stared at them both, dumbfounded.

Gavin raised his gaze up to where Vera was clutching Edrissa, staring at Gavin in disbelief. “I didn’t know my dad was doing that to you, I’m a fucking idiot but I swear I didn’t fucking know, I should have, I should…” He shuddered and froze into a full-body tension. “If I had known, if I had, I could’ve helped, I could have, I could have… done something, and I didn’t, and I… oh, fuck…”

Gavin collapsed and wretched into the dirt. He wailed and pressed himself against the ground. “Oh my, oh my god, I didn’t…”

Vera’s face was pinched and tense, like she was holding back tears. Her arms tightened around Edrissa.

“And I… I wanted to hurt you, I know I did, I’m not saying I didn’t want that, but… fuck… And I… how can I miss my dad, how can I miss him when he did that to you… I believe you, I know he did, I know it in my fucking soul, I know he hurt you like that… and how can I… how can I say I miss him, that it fucking kills me that he’s dead, that I watched him die, when he… he strung me up as bait for you, after he…” He keened brokenly into the ground.

“Gavin…” Sam said softly.

“No no no no no,” Gavin sobbed. “I lost my entire, f-fucking family, I’m… I’m fucking dead to them, I can never go home, my mom, my fucking mom wants me dead because she, she fucking blames me…”

Sam’s hand settled on Gavin’s shoulder and squeezed.

“I can never go home, my family, my mom told them all to close their doors to me and I can’t…” Gavin gasped. “I… I’ve lost… everyone…” He collapsed into himself and sobbed. Sam moved their hand in circles on Gavin’s back again, silent.

There was a flicker of moment in Isaac’s periphery and he looked up to see Gray take a hesitant step around the fire towards Gavin. They stopped, their hands tightened into fists. Took a step. Paused again. Finally they blew out a slow breath and made their way around the circle to Gavin.

Gray knelt at Gavin’s side, their hand hovering slightly over his head. They bit their lip. Finally, their hand settled in Gavin’s hair.

Gavin glanced up, his eyes widening when he saw Gray. He looked back down at the ground. His hand went up to wrap around Gray’s wrist and squeeze, keeping their hand pressed gently in his hair.

Everyone else watched, silently. They watched until the fire started to die down.

Continued here

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