#her motivation for wanting to do that is like...
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kingofterrors · 4 hours ago
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I love this - absolutely rings true. The assumptions that we make about ourselves, and where we think our personalities and/or motivations come from.
But an interesting extra step is to look at Helena / Helly R, because there we have the added dimension that Helena seems equally as constrained, if in a different way, than Helly is. Helly is allowed to fight and rage because she hasn't *learned* different. Helena has those instincts deep inside her, but she has had them tempered by her upbringing.
I'm longing to know what Helena's family life looks like, although I'm a little afraid of it at the same time. Because I have the distinct feeling that it is deeply weird and very scary. Has that fight been beaten out of Helena? Has it been "educated" out of her? Has it been twisted and forged into this steely controlled focus that we see in her now?
But definitely whatever her upbringing has done, it makes her deeply envious of her innie's freedom to express - both rage and love. Those scenes in the first 3 episodes of s2 (because I'm fully convinced that's Helena down on the severed floor and not Helly) show us someone who is both afraid of their innie's possibility to act, and hugely jealous of her. Helena's face in episode 2 when the board liaison (the one with 'frolic' tattoed on his hand - do we know his name?) announces that Mark will have everything he wants, including Helly R - it speaks volumes. She doesn't want that.
In fact, I wonder if Helena's presence down on the severed floor over the last couple of episodes has been unsanctioned. It *should* be Helly down there as far as the Board is concerned, but Helena has chosen to secretly go herself instead. Helly's caged 'freedom' has challenged her in a way she couldn't have imagined.
Helly R continues to change the shape of the world around her, even when she's being buried deep in Helena's subconscious.
God, I love this show.
obsessed with the Helena and Irving parallel and what it says about the aspects of our identity we think are fundamental (but aren't)...
Like Outie Irving assumes his Innie is just as radically anti-Lumon as he is. He assumes his hatred of Lumon is something ingrained in his personality! That's why he stays up at night drinking coffee and making paintings, because he hopes that when his innie dreams about the testing floor, he'll say "okay bet" and start exploring. That's what Outie Irving would do, after all. But he miscalculated! His hatred of Lumon isn't inherent--- his desire for meaning and art and spirituality is inherent. That's what his hatred for Lumon is built on. But in a world where there's no meaning outside of Lumon propaganda, of COURSE his innie would become ridiculously devoted to the company.
And Helena!! She is the corporation, that's her whole identity. She presumably assumed that Helly would be just as pro-Lumon as she is. But she miscalculated too! Her devotion to the company isn't inherent, her headstrong and entitled nature is what's inherent! And in a world where she's denied any agency whatsoever, that manifests as rebellion.
It's the same dynamic flipped on its head. They both sent their innies in there with opposite intentions--- one to take down the company, one feed the company's expansion--- only to realize that rebellion and devotion aren't inherent characteristics. Their innies have become the exact opposite of their outie selves, while still being exactly the same!! Because even though your personality is inherent, the values you hold are determined circumstantially. OUGH IT'S SO GOOD.
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literaryvein-reblogs · 2 days ago
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Writing Tips: An Unforgettable Villain
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A villain is the antagonist of your story whose motivations and actions oppose the protagonist and drive the plot of your story.
A villain is the opposite of a hero. In contrast to the hero, a villain is usually compelled by a desire to commit acts of cruelty and immorality.
Bestselling author Dan Brown advocates for writing your villain first—even before your hero—because it is the villain who will make the hero heroic.
Tips for Writing a Great Villain in Your Novel
Choose a real-life model. Find a real person to model your villain after. It could be someone you know, a person from history, or a famous serial killer. Try writing a brief character sketch in which you list their positive and negative attributes, their physical appearance, and their state of mind. Once you’ve done some brainstorming, be sure to differentiate your fictional character from your real-life model (you don’t want to get sued!). You can do this by changing identifiable elements like name, age, and specific actions or events.
Put yourself in their shoes. When it’s time for your villain to act, put yourself in their place. Think about challenges or hardships that might tempt people to act out or behave badly. How do you react to bad things? Tap into those emotions and try to apply them to your villain.
Consider their motivation. Just like with your main character, determining your antagonist’s motivation can help you unlock other aspects of their character, such as their goals and their personality.
Introduce a villain with a bang. A strong introduction to your villain sends your reader a clear message that this character is malicious. In Charles Dickens’ David Copperfield features an unforgettable introduction to antagonist Uriah Heep, whose seeming politeness is overshadowed by a face so shocking and ugly that it is described as “cadaverous.” His introduction immediately establishes the character as a villain.
Characteristics of a Good Villain
Every great hero needs a great villain. Villains are the antagonistic force of your story that challenges your hero and drives the action. Most great villains share a common set of characteristics.
Strong connection to the hero. The best villains are inextricably connected to the hero, and aid in the hero’s character development through their inherent opposition to them.
Clear morality. Every villain needs to have his own morality. If a villain spends part your story killing people, you need to give him or her believable reasons for doing so. Make the reader understand exactly what desperation or belief has driven him to it. For instance, in Ray Bradbury’s dystopian novel Fahrenheit 451, primary antagonist Captain Beatty’s mission is to find and destroy books because he believes that books cause people to reject the stability and tranquility of a life of conformity. He has a strong moral point of view, and the reader believes that he believes he is doing the right thing by trying to burn books. After all, every villain believes they are the hero of their own story.
A worthy opponent. A great villain should be a strong and worthy adversary to your hero. They shouldn’t be weak and easily beaten, nor should they be so powerful that they can only be defeated by random chance. In Sherlock Holmes, his arch-nemesis Moriarty is a criminal mastermind who is every bit as smart as Sherlock. Having a villain who is in many ways equal in skill and intelligence to your hero will raise the stakes of their encounters, as it creates a credible threat that your hero might be bested.
Compelling backstory. Any good villain should have an interesting and credible backstory. In addition to creating a deep and more three-dimensional villain, a memorable backstory allows ourselves to identify and even sympathize with the villain. For example, the Gollum character in The Lord of The Rings trilogy used to be a normal hobbit until he was corrupted by the power of the One Ring. In addition to deepening the character by showing us the full breadth of his journey from virtuousness to wickedness, Gollum’s backstory forces us to consider how we are sometimes tempted by bad or unethical forces in our own lives.
Villains should be fun. Let’s face it: evil villains are fun. In Thomas Harris’ Silence of the Lambs, readers hold their breath whenever Hannibal Lecter appears on the page. Whether it’s their black-hearted sense of humor or their odious worldview, our favorite villains possess qualities that we love to hate.
Source ⚜ More: References ⚜ Writing Resources PDFs ⚜ Villains
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k1mbe3rly · 2 days ago
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NSFW ALPHABET WITH NOEULLLL 🙏🙏🙏
No-eul NSFW headcannons
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A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)
She’s very gentle after she just fucked you like she hated you real bad, she calms you down from your high and softly strokes your hair, gives you water
B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)
Her favorite body part about you is your hands, she likes them a lot, she loves holding them or the way you playing with her hair, she also loves to hold your hand when she’s fucking you
Her favorite body part about herself is her fingers, she’s very skilled with them because she used to use guns, her fingers are pretty long so she likes when she fingers you, curving into your g spot
C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)
she makes you cum on her strap, and she also loves it when you cum in her mouth
D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)
her dirty secret is wanting to watch you fuck yourself with a dildo
E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)
She’s experienced but not really, overall she knows what she’s doing when it comes to pleasing you
F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)
her favorite position is doggystyle. she just loves the way her strap disappears inside of you
G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)
If she’s not goofy out of sex she’s not goofy in sex. She does NOTT play
H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)
She doesn’t really care that much but she does shave every now and then
I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)
She very into the moment and sometimes would whisper praising things into your ear
J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)
no comment, she doesn’t finger herself
K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)
spanking, degrading, overstimulation, edging, praising
L = Location (favorite places to do the do)
anywhere in the house
M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)
when you wear short skirts or shorts, and also the way you think you can give attitude
N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)
gun play or any weapon play
O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)
she mainly gives you pleasure mostly but sometimes she would like to receive it when she’s stress
P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)
Oh she is ROUGH, till the point where the skin slapping sounds violent, she likes to take her anger/stress out on you which causes rough sex, she does go gentle rarely or when you beg for her to go gentle and it seems like you really need it slowly
Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)
her favorite thing, she loves the way you try to stay quiet when she fingers you really roughly
R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)
she’s into risk but not anything too risky
S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)
she can last many rounds but mostly 4-5 rounds
T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)
vibrator, strap on, and dildos
U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)
she teases a lot but only when your acting like a brat
V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)
low moans and groans and raspy growls
W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)
she fucks you when you wear her clothes
X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)
the strap on it 7 inches
Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)
it’s not high but it’s now low, medium
Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)
when she’s done taking care of you or sometimes she doesn’t go to sleep
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deadpcnned · 1 day ago
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you're so vain (jj.m)
coming soon!
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general masterlist | join the taglist
pairing: jj maybank x reader (au)
synopsis: for as long as anyone can remember, jj maybank has been a ladies’ man—willing to charm any girl with a pulse. you, on the other hand, have never been easily won over, shutting down unwanted advances without a second thought in the name of higher pursuits.
so when his friends bet he can’t get with you, he sees it as just another challenge. what he doesn’t know is that you have a bet of your own—act like the worst girlfriend possible, and prove that guys don't just stick around for looks.
at first, it’s just a game. your weird quirks and stubborn attitude are nothing he can’t handle, and his flirtations are nothing more than motivation for you. but with every passing day, it all seems less like a game and more... real. what happens when winning the bet means losing each other?
* this series is inspired by 'how to lose a guy in 10 days' *
content warning(s): au, drugs, alcohol, language
author's note: uh oh, another series... like most girls, i am such a big fan of this movie and i couldn't resist adding my own spin to the plot. this series won't be starting until probably the end of february, but i wanted to go ahead and post it!
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“I seriously doubt a guy would stick around if he were fishing out spinach from my mouth every time we kissed,” You mumble, rolling your eyes at Ruthie as you return to tightly winding Sarah’s hair around the curling iron. Your grip tightens around the pink handle, more from exasperation than focus. Topper seriously needs to reconsider his recent taste in women.
Ruthie pushes herself up from the bed and saunters over to the two of you, a spark of mischief shining in her eyes that catches your attention in the mirror. Without warning, she scoops the ottoman from under your knee, ignoring your annoyed huff as she plops down. “You don’t get it, do you?” she says, shaking her head as if she’s explaining something painfully obvious. “Boys are simple. They’ll do anything for a good fuck.” 
“Ruthie!” 
“Sarah!” You exclaim, pulling away the curling wand hovering dangerously close to her turned cheek. “Stop moving! I almost burned you!” You cautiously rest your curling wand on the vanity, crossing your arms as you address Ruthie’s tireless campaign. “Ruthie, that’s just not true. Men suck, but they’re not that desperate.” 
“Care to test it?” The look she gives you, so full of unwarranted confidence, makes it tempting to agree blindly to whatever nonsense she’s about to spew. But in the short time you’ve known her, you’ve gathered jumping headfirst into whatever she plans is maybe not the smartest thing to do. 
“How would we do that?” You arch a brow, playing it cool, the picture of nonchalance. Girls like Ruthie want you to bark when you should be biting back. The best way to handle them is to beat them at their own game. It doesn’t matter how uneasy her grin makes you. You have to look like the picture of perfect insouciance. 
“Easy. You reel in some sucker and make him regret it. Clingy, loud, jealous – I’m talking full nightmare fuel.” 
“Me?” You scoff, reaching for the iron. “Sarah, I swear, if you move–”
 Sarah hums in acknowledgment but doesn’t angle her face towards the circular mirror like you need her to. She’s too busy watching Ruthie, waiting for her following words. 
“Yes, you.” 
“Why do I have to be the guinea pig?” You fuss, shifting your position to continue working on Sarah’s hair. You twist Sarah’s blond hair around the silver rod as you suggest, “You test it out with Topper. You’re the one with something to prove.”
“I’m actually serious about Topper,” Ruthie counters and you have to physically bite your tongue from making a snarky comment. “And you’re perfect for this. You’re objectively hot and leaving at the end of the summer. No strings with a hot chick? Guys eat that up.” 
“Ruthie, remind me again why you’re with Topper if you have such a low opinion of the entire male species,” Sarah asks. Sarah eyes Ruthie with a mix of genuine curiosity and plain judgment. Ruthie doesn’t dignify Sarah with a response, upholding the same catty attitude she’s maintained with her since the start of the evening. “Or not.” 
You and Sarah share a long look, not hiding your indignation, but you can’t deny that beneath you’re irritation, you’re a little interested. You would be in the Outer Banks for three months; you might as well find a way to kill time. 
“Done,” You announce, pulling back and smiling at your handiwork. As Sarah fluffs through her hair, you ask, “So, I just pick any guy and make him miserable?” 
Sarah spins around at a dizzying speed, her jaw dropping open. “You’re considering it? Like, actually?”  
You give her a sheepish shrug and look to Ruthie for confirmation. 
“No, I get to choose.”
“What, why?” You scoff. 
“Cause you’d choose someone you already know, and those guys have been harboring unrequited crushes on you since you were, like, twelve.” You try not to betray your surprise. Somehow, Ruthie knows more about your life than you want her to. You weren't sure how Ruthie knew this about you, but it wasn’t entirely untrue. 
“Fine,” You huff, flopping down onto your bed. “Who, then?”
Ruthie’s smile is one you could only describe as downright devilish as she leans in, lowering her voice to a lethal whisper. “Who else but Kildare’s biggest fuckboy? JJ Maybank.”
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taglist: @rinaarii @kaisgirlie @loophole3 @flourelle @xobeautifulfaith @brooklyn789 @jjscoquette
*if you would like to be removed, pls lmk!
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caughtthedarkness93 · 8 hours ago
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Interestingly, The Hunger Games' love triangle is actually the example I always point to when I talk about how, if you're going to write a love triangle, it should be done.
Because The Hunger Games has a love triangle, yes, but it actually matters to the story. It is thematically connected to the conflicts Katniss is struggling with throughout the trilogy. Peeta and Gale both represent an idea for how one should approach one's enemy in a war. Gale is merciless, wants to hurt the people who hurt him, is motivated by this sense of hatred of the systems of power and those who benefited from them. He wants to inflict upon them the suffering they inflicted on himself and the people he loves. Peeta, meanwhile, wants to be free, knows violence is inevitable, but more than anything he just wants it to stop and do as little damage as possible.
When Katniss is given romantic tension with both these guys, her choice is about picking between one of those philosophies - do you force those who made you suffer to suffer in turn? Or do you just let the violence end? It isn't about who she wants to be with. It's about who she wants to be.
And if you look at any love triangle that could be qualified as good, you'll see the same thing - a choice not just between two people, but between the ideas they represent. If you like the trope, that's fine. Like what you like. But this trope can be used to such stronger effect than how it usually is.
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eagerly awaiting the reveal of what political science 101 concept is she going to stop the plot to teach middle schoolers about. we got bread and circuses we got the extended work on thomas hobbes my money is on haymitch starting this book as an objectivist and having to unlearn that in the face of true struggle
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iamquiantrelle · 1 day ago
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SO INTO YOU ────── iamquaintrelle
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# pairings: aurelien tchouameni x black reader (✨💕) # wc: 5.9k
# tags: @sucredreamer @snowseasonmademe @jessnotwiththemess @rougereds @judectrl @mufasathatniggatho @irishmanwhore @lettersofgold @ayeshami @greyishbach @haartemis @goldenngt @solidbriii @sailurmewn @bbgkoo @mauvecherie-writes @leighjadeclimbedmtkilimanjaro
# summary: you’re a multiple grammy winning artist with a record breaking single based on an embarrassing crush on a footballer & when that single demands visuals who else do you ask to be your video vixen besides said footballer crush? but is he also willing to blow your back out too? ♡ masterlist
You were never drinking tequila again. Ever.
The tequila bottle sat empty on your coffee table like evidence from a crime scene, mocking you with memories of last night's social media bravery. Your Grammy awards caught the morning light, their gold surfaces throwing judgmental sparkles across your living room walls. You'd really done it this time - slid into Aurélien Tchouaméni's DMs like your verified check mark gave you the right to disturb his peace at 2 AM.
Your manager Carmen sat in the armchair across from you, tablet in hand as she went through tomorrow's flight details to Madrid. But your attention kept drifting to your phone, to that cursed Instagram conversation where you'd actually typed out "hey, random question but would you maybe want to be in my music video? no pressure lol" - asking him to star in your video for "So Into You," a song that lived in that dangerous space between confession and plausible deniability.
“Earth to lovergirl,” Carmen's professional tone carried just a hint of amusement. “You good? Or still having flashbacks to drunk-texting one of football's finest?”
His response still sat there in your DMs, casual as anything: “The song that's breaking records? I'd be down. Though I have to ask - any particular reason you thought of me? 😉”
You'd screamed into three different pillows after reading that.
“I still can't believe he said yes,” you mumbled, sinking deeper into the couch as Carmen scrolled through your embarrassing Instagram activity history with restrained glee. The evidence was damning: every single post liked within seconds, story reactions that probably made you look unhinged, the way you'd set notifications for his account months ago after that first video blessed your FYP.
It had been innocent enough at first - a clip of him in a post-match interview, fresh taper fade catching the stadium lights. Something about the way he carried himself, that quiet confidence wrapped in genuine humility, had you hitting that follow button before the video even finished. The way he'd laugh with his whole chest in interviews, how he could switch from intense focus on the field to the sweetest smile off it - you were gone before you even realized you were falling.
Your best friend had watched your descent with barely contained amusement. “Not you making a whole Tumblr shrine," she'd cackled one wine night, scrolling through @tchouamenithoughts. “Day 43 of manifesting Aurélien Tchouaméni to ruin my life’? Girl...”
“Listen,” you groaned now, watching Carmen pull up the same account on her phone, “we all cope differently.”
“Cope? You wrote a whole chart-topping song about how he 'controls the game like he could control your heart.' That's not coping, that's down catastrophic,” she said, maintaining her composure even as her eyes danced with mirth.
She wasn't wrong. You'd lost hours to The Bridge episodes, team interviews, even compilation videos of his best plays. You'd lost count of how many times you'd woken up hot and bothered from dreams featuring that TCHM chain of his dangling above you, his knowing smile as he– nope. Not going there. Not when you were about to meet him in person.
Your phone lit up with a text from an unknown Spanish number:
“Looking forward to finally meeting tomorrow. Been keeping those 2AM DMs for motivation during training 😊 - AT”
“Oh my god,” you breathed, showing Carmen the screen. “He saved the messages.”
“Of course he did,” she said, checking something on her tablet. “You really think he didn't notice how you watch every single one of his Instagram lives? Even the 3 AM ones after matches where he's just vibing to Afrobeats in his gym? Those thirst traps?”
The way he moved to those beats had no business living rent-free in your head like it did. Neither did the way his eyes got soft when he talked about his family in interviews, or how that dangerous half-smirk would appear after a particularly clean tackle. You'd documented it all on your Tumblr, built whole theories around his personality based on how he interacted with teammates, analyzed every public appearance like it was your job.
“What if he found it?" The thought hit you suddenly. “The Tumblr account?”
Carmen's composed expression cracked slightly with a knowing smile. “Girl, if he has, he still said yes to the video. What does that tell you?”
You didn't want to think about what that might mean. Couldn't let yourself hope that maybe he'd noticed you too, that perhaps those quick likes on your Instagram stories weren't just courtesy, that the way he'd immediately responded to your drunk DM meant something.
Tomorrow you'd be in Madrid. Tomorrow you'd see if that confidence you'd analyzed in countless videos translated in person, if his smile was really as dangerous as it seemed through a screen.
“Make sure you pack some lingerie,” Carmen said as she gathered her things, a slight smirk playing at her lips. “Just in case those Tumblr manifestations worked.”
You buried your face in a throw pillow, but your heart was already racing at the possibility.
**************************************************
The Madrid morning sun painted the makeup room in ethereal hues, casting everything in a dreamlike glow that did nothing to settle your nerves. You sat still as the artist perfected your look - soft glam that highlighted your warm brown skin, each baby hair laid with precision, curls falling in a carefully crafted cascade. The "effortlessly gorgeous" aesthetic you'd aimed for had, ironically, required a 5 AM start.
“He's here,” your assistant's voice cut through your reverie, and your heart performed a gymnastics routine worthy of Olympic qualification.
Here's the thing about Aurélien Tchouaméni - all the 4K footage in the world, every professional photograph, every high-definition broadcast couldn't capture what he was in person. The way he commanded space wasn't something a camera could translate.
He had to duck slightly entering the room (had he always been that tall?), the morning light catching him like it knew exactly what it was doing. The fitted white tee and designer jeans he wore were deceptively simple, the kind of casual that required serious thought. That signature "TCHM" pendant caught the light as he moved, the diamond Cuban link chain you'd written dissertations about on Tumblr proving worthy of every analysis. You'd watched enough matches to know his height, studied enough footage to know his build, but something about him actually being there, all 6'2" of him absolutely dominating the space, had your carefully constructed composure threatening to crumble.
“So," he said, that dangerous half-smile playing at his lips as he approached, “you're the one who slid in my DMs at 2 AM?”
The ground could swallow you whole any minute now. His French accent in person was a weapon that should be classified as illegal. “Listen, about that–“
“Nah, don't apologize," he laughed, the sound rich enough to drown in. "It was cute. Especially that part about my ball control being 'unfairly hot.'”
"Please tell me you're joking," you groaned, but you couldn't help smiling. His presence was magnetic - that quiet confidence you'd analyzed through screens somehow even more potent in the flesh.
"Three fire emojis and everything," he grinned, and you noticed his taper fade was fresh, clearly done for the shoot. The chain caught the light again as he leaned slightly closer, shortening the considerable distance between you. "But for what it's worth? Your voice is unfairly hot too.”
Your cognitive functions ceased entirely. The proximity brought his cologne into focus - something expensive and intoxicating that absolutely wasn't helping your ability to form coherent thoughts. The height difference hit differently in person, requiring you to tilt your head back to meet his gaze.
“Five minutes to places!” the director's call pierced through your haze, saving you from having to remember basic language skills.
The shoot itself was a study in sweet torture. For the first time in your career, you found yourself flubbing takes - missing cues, getting lost in moments. You, who prided yourself on one-take perfection, needed multiple runs at the simplest scenes. But how could you focus when he kept looking at you like that? The way his eyes would drift slowly down your body between setups, how his hands would rub together - a tell you'd seen in dozens of post-match interviews when something particularly caught his interest. But then again, Aurélien was known for giving everything his complete attention. You'd watched enough footage to know that.
He played his role perfectly - too perfectly, really. Each take had him hitting his marks with the same precision he showed on the field, but there was something else there. Something in the way his hand would linger just a moment too long when helping you up, how his eyes would catch yours in the monitor playback.
“Last setup!” the director announced, and you silently thanked whatever higher power was listening. Your heart could only take so much.
“So," Aurélien said during the lighting adjustment, his voice dropping to a register that did dangerous things to your pussy. “Since you're such a football fan now... maybe you'd want to come to my match this weekend? VIP seats?”
Your heart stuttered. “Yeah? What if someone recognizes me?”
"Let them," he smiled, and that chain glinted again as he shifted closer. "Maybe I want people to know, especially about that DM.”
You couldn't help laughing despite your burning cheeks. "You're never letting that go, are you?”
"Never," he agreed, then added more softly: "But I'm glad you sent it. Been trying to figure out how to slide in your DMs too, especially after seeing all those likes on my gym posts.”
You looked up at him (way up - seriously, the height difference was doing things to you), catching that dangerous glint in his eye. “Oh….”
"Front row seats," he continued, voice dropping lower. "Right behind the bench. That way I'll know exactly where to look after I score.”
Your heart did another full gymnastic routine. “Pretty confident about that goal, huh?”
"I'm confident about a lot of things," he smiled, and that chain caught the light once more as he leaned down slightly. “Like how good those likes looked on my notifications.”
You were going to pass away on the spot. But then his hand found yours, and that smile softened into something more private, more real. “Sure I’ll go.”
Maybe drunk you had known exactly what she was doing after all.
******************************************
Thank god for these VIP seats because the view? Immaculate.
Grandpa Ancelotti finally put Aurélien in his rightful position and oh my god, watching him command the midfield in person hit so different. TV did not prepare you for this. At all.
The way his orange kit stretched across those shoulders when he'd gesture to teammates? Criminal. And those calves? You'd seen them in videos but in person they were actually unreal. The entire package was just unfair - whoever said football kits weren't flattering had never seen Aurélien Tchouaméni in one. His body was sculptural, all lean muscle and perfect proportions, like god really sat down and took extra time crafting him specifically to ruin your life.
You watched him talk tactics with Jude, all authority and focused energy, and the way he carried himself on the field had you feeling some type of way. His whole demeanor shifted during matches - all business and pure power. The intensity in his eyes when he'd call out positions? Yeah, you were definitely going to need a glass of water.
When he made that assist - a perfect pass that had the crowd screaming - you jumped up cheering before remembering you were supposed to be playing it cool. But how could you when he glanced your way during the celebration with that smile?
Every time he'd body someone off the ball, the way his muscles flexed with the effort... Lord have mercy. You'd really thought writing a song about him was peak down bad but watching him work in person? Your brain was absolutely short-circuiting.
During a water break, he caught your eye and adjusted his shirt - a move you'd seen in countless matches but this time it felt deliberate, just for you. The stadium lights hit his dark skin just right, making him look like he was literally glowing. And that jawline? Sharp enough to cut glass.
The final whistle had you watching his post-match routine like you hadn't already memorized it from videos - the handshakes, the quick interviews, the way he'd run his hand over his fresh fade when downplaying how good he was. But then he looked up at your spot again with that private little smile and yeah... you were absolutely screwed.
Because watching Aurélien Tchouaméni absolutely own the soccer pitch? That wasn't just attraction anymore. That was straight up ruination.
You made it to the designated area and only had to wait around 30 minutes before Aurélien showed up, fresh from the shower, dressed casually but still somehow managing to look like a walking problem. A clean black tee stretched across his chest, showing off the definition of his arms, paired with dark jeans that sat just right on his waist. And the way his chain rested against his collarbone? Yeah, this was dangerous.
“You waited long?” he asked, a lazy smile on his lips as he approached, exuding the kind of confidence that came naturally to him.
“Not really,” you said, hoping your voice sounded steadier than you felt.
His eyes dragged over you in a way that felt intentional, like he was cataloging every detail. “Good. Would’ve hated to keep you waiting.”
The way he said it sent a shiver down your spine, but before you could overthink it, he tilted his head. “You hungry?”
You blinked. “Yeah.”
“Come on, let’s get something to eat,” he said, nodding toward the exit.
You followed him out, keeping pace as he led you to his car — his matte black Lamborghini Urus. Of course. He opened the passenger door for you, stepping back just enough to give you space but still managing to be close, like his presence was a gravitational pull.
“You good?” he asked, one brow lifting as you hesitated before getting in.
You nodded quickly, sliding into the plush seat, inhaling the faint scent of leather and his cologne —clean, expensive, and entirely him. He shut the door gently before walking around to the driver’s side, settling in smoothly before starting the engine. The deep purr of the car filled the quiet, and when he rested one hand on the wheel, the other on the gear shift, your eyes traced the veins in his forearm, the way his fingers flexed slightly.
Yeah, this was setting you off.
Aurélien drove with an effortless confidence, maneuvering through Madrid’s streets like he’d done it a million times — which, of course, he had. As he looped around the Bernabéu, he nodded toward the stadium. “You should come back for a tour.”
Your head turned sharply toward him. “What?”
He glanced at you, amused by your surprise. “You liked watching me play, right?”
Like was an understatement. Watching him on the pitch, commanding the game with precision and strength, was one thing. But now, seeing him here, driving through the city with that same quiet control, his jaw flexing as he focused on the road, his fingers tapping against the wheel — it was too much.
You were obsessed. Fully.
Your crush was sitting mere inches away, effortlessly charming, looking stupid good behind the wheel, and here you were, acting all timid. No. You needed to snap out of it. Because if you didn’t make a move now, when would you?
“You like tacos?” His voice cut through your thoughts as he stopped at a red light, glancing at you with a knowing smirk.
Of course, you liked tacos. But right now? Food was the last thing on your mind.
Because tomorrow night, you’d be on a flight back to LA. Who knew when you’d see him again? Your lives were on different continents. And after everything —after DMing him, after him actually showing up for your video — didn’t you deserve this one night?
Your heart pounded as you turned toward him fully, a slow smile curving your lips. “Tacos can wait.”
Aurélien’s lips curved into a smirk, the kind that sent heat rushing through you. He tilted his head slightly, feigning innocence. “Oh? And what are you in the mood for?”
The way his voice dipped on the last word made your breath hitch. He knew exactly what you meant. And judging by the way his fingers flexed against the steering wheel, he liked where this was going.
“Maybe we can go back to your place?” you suggested, trying to sound casual despite the thrum of anticipation running through you.
He hummed, dragging his tongue across his bottom lip like he was weighing his options. “For something to eat…or?”
“Definitely or,” you giggled, the boldness surprising even yourself.
Aurélien let out a deep chuckle, shaking his head slightly as he turned onto a quieter road. “Alright. So, UberEats later. Sounds good.”
Your stomach flipped at the ease in his tone, like this was the most natural thing in the world. Then his eyes flicked to you, warm and dark with something unreadable, and he bit his lip. “You’re so beautiful.”
The compliment was soft, unprompted, and it caught you off guard. Your chest tightened, heat creeping up your neck. “Thank you.”
He didn’t rush the drive, taking his time maneuvering through the streets, letting conversation flow easily between you. He asked about your time in Madrid, what you’d done so far, if you liked the city. And the whole time, his voice had that smooth, rich quality that made every word feel like it was meant just for you.
When he finally pulled up to his house — a sleek, modern place with clean lines and warm lighting —you barely had time to take it in before a low bark caught your attention.
Ocho.
The Belgian Malinois trotted toward the door as soon as you stepped inside, his dark eyes locked onto you with curiosity. Aurélien placed a reassuring hand on your lower back, his touch warm and grounding. “Let him sniff you first,” he murmured.
You extended your hand slightly, letting Ocho inspect you. The dog’s ears twitched before he gave a small huff, seemingly satisfied.
Aurélien grinned. “Good boy.” Then, switching to French, he said, “Va dans ta chambre.” (Go to your room.)
Ocho obeyed immediately, padding off toward what you assumed was his designated space.
“He’s well-trained,” you noted, impressed.
Aurélien shrugged, closing the door behind him. “Had to be. He’s my best boy.” Then he turned to you, his gaze softer now. “You want anything to drink?”
The fact that he even asked — so polite, so sweet —made your heart squeeze a little.
You shook your head. “I’m good.”
Still, he grabbed a bottle of Gatorade and a water anyway, tucking them under his arm before reaching for you. His arm wrapped around your waist, pulling you in just enough to make your breath hitch. “Come on.”
As he guided you upstairs, his lips found the side of your neck, pressing slow, lingering kisses against your skin as you walked. His goatee tickled, the warmth of his mouth sending shivers down your spine.
By the time you made it to his bedroom, you were already gripping his arm, steadying yourself against the dizzying effect of his touch.
Aurélien smirked as he nudged the door shut behind you. “Still thinking about tacos?”
Not even a little bit. “No.”
He placed the Gatorade and water bottle on the bedside table then Aurélien’s hands were warm against your waist, fingers pressing into your skin as he pulled you in. His lips found yours, soft at first, tasting, teasing, savoring. The kiss started slow, a gentle exploration, his lips moving against yours in a way that had your heart thudding in your chest.
But then his hands slid lower, gripping the curve of your hips, and something shifted. The kiss deepened, turning hotter, messier — needy. His tongue met yours, stroking, claiming, pulling soft moans from your lips that he swallowed greedily.
The room was quiet except for the sounds of your mouths working against each other, the wet slide of tongues, the occasional breathless sighs escaping between kisses. His fingers trailed up your back, making you arch into him, pressing your body flush against his. The heat between you was dizzying, his scent — fresh, clean, and something uniquely him —wrapping around you like a drug.
Your hands roamed, exploring the hard planes of his back, the ridges of muscle beneath his skin. He groaned into your mouth when your nails scratched lightly at his nape, the sound vibrating through you and making your thighs clench.
His hands moved with purpose now, sliding under the hem of your top, pushing it up, breaking the kiss only long enough to strip it from you. Then he went for your bottoms, peeling them away, leaving you in just your underwear. His dark eyes roved over you, taking you in, heat flickering in his gaze.
“Fuck,” he muttered, almost to himself, before his hands were back on you, caressing, exploring, like he needed to feel every inch of your skin.
You didn’t hesitate, your fingers slipping under the hem of his shirt, tugging it upward. He let you pull it over his head, and your breath hitched when you got a full view of him — his abs looked even better in person, all taut muscle and definition, a masterpiece carved in 4D.
Your fingers traced along the ridges, relishing the way his muscles tensed beneath your touch.
Aurélien groaned, low and deep, his head tipping back slightly. “You’re really testing my patience, bébé.”
You smiled, dragging your fingertips lower, teasing along the waistband of his jeans. Your fingers worked at the button, then the zipper, easing the denim down his hips. He helped, pushing them the rest of the way until they pooled at his feet, leaving him in just his Aime boxers.
Your breath caught.
He was hard.
The thick outline of his length strained against the fabric, the sight making heat pool low in your belly.
Your hands ghosted over his erection, barely grazing him, but it was enough to make him suck in a sharp breath.
“Shit,” he hissed, his hips jerking slightly at the contact.
You muttered an apology, but he just shook his head, eyes dark with heat. “It’s okay, bébé.”
Then his lips were on yours again, stealing the breath from your lungs, guiding you toward the bed. You barely registered the feel of the mattress beneath you before he was pressing you down, his body hovering over yours, his heat surrounding you.
And from the way he looked at you — like he was about to ruin you — you knew you were in for it.
His hands skimmed down your body to unclasp your bra then his fingers hooked into the waistband of your underwear, dragging them down your legs with agonizing slowness. His gaze roved over you, hungry and heated, before he lowered himself between your thighs.
His mouth found your skin, leaving a trail of open-mouthed kisses from your navel downward, making you shiver in anticipation.
And then — oh.
Aurélien’s lips, his tongue, the warmth of his breath against your pussy had you gasping, your fingers tangling in his curls as he worked you over with a skill that had your thighs trembling.
He was deliberate but messy, completely focused on you, his lips wrapping around your clit while his tongue moved in slow, devastating circles. When he slipped two fingers inside, curling them just right, a strangled moan escaped your lips.
“Tu prends si bien, bébé,” he murmured against you, the vibration of his voice making you whimper. His fingers stroked inside you, matching the rhythm of his tongue, and your hips bucked instinctively. He just chuckled, holding you in place as he kept going, kept building you higher, until—
And then he pulled away.
A whimper of protest left your lips before you could stop it, and he smirked at your pout, his thumb swiping at the corner of his mouth like he was savoring the taste of you.
“Be right back,” he said, pressing a final kiss to your inner thigh before moving toward his dresser.
You pushed up on your elbows, watching as he pulled out a condom, then hooked his thumbs into the waistband of his boxers, pushing them down. Your breath hitched at the sight of him — thick, long, and impossibly hard.
Aurélien caught you staring and smirked. “Like what you see?”
You swallowed, your cheeks heating. “Obviously.”
That made him chuckle as he rolled the condom on, then returned to the bed, his hands guiding your legs further apart as he settled between them. One arm reached behind you, grabbing a pillow and tucking it under your lower back, another small but thoughtful gesture that made your chest tighten in a way that had nothing to do with arousal.
His lips found your neck as he nudged himself against your entrance, teasing you with shallow strokes, making your body crave him even more.
And as he finally, finally pushed inside, a deep moan left your lips, because — oh. Oh.
This was happening. Your crush, your fantasy, your dream — was now your reality.
His thrusts were slow at first, letting you feel every inch of him stretching you, filling you, but it didn’t take long before the teasing gave way to something deeper, more urgent. He kissed you through it, all tongue and heat, swallowing your moans as his hips found a steady rhythm.
“You feel so fucking good,” he murmured against your lips, his voice thick with pleasure. “So wet for me.”
The chain around his neck swung forward with every movement, the cool metal brushing against your skin, dangling just above your face, and god, he looked beautiful like this — face twisted in pleasure, jaw clenched, brows furrowed, dark eyes locked on yours like he never wanted to look away.
“Tu es si belle,” he groaned, dropping his head to your neck, dragging open-mouthed kisses along your throat before moving lower. His tongue flicked over your nipple before he took it into his mouth, sucking just enough to send a sharp jolt of pleasure through you. Your back arched off the bed, hands tangling in his curls as you whimpered his name.
Aurélien pulled back slightly, his teeth grazing the sensitive skin before he released you with a wet pop. His eyes met yours, dark and full of intent.
“Turn over for me,” he said, voice like gravel, thick with desire.
You swallowed, your body already obeying before your mind could catch up. He sat back, watching you get on all fours, his large hands smoothing over the curve of your ass, squeezing each cheek once before dragging up your spine. The way he looked at you, eyes burning with hunger, sent heat pooling low in your stomach.
“You’re perfect,” he muttered, almost to himself. Then he ran a hand through his curls, exhaling sharply before gripping your hips and lining himself up again.
And when he pushed back inside, deeper than before, a broken moan fell from your lips.
“That’s it, bébé,” he murmured, his fingers digging into your skin as he started to move, slow at first, teasing. “Taking me so well.”
His pace quickened, the sound of skin on skin filling the air, along with the low, guttural groans spilling from his lips. His chain swung again, the rhythmic clink of metal adding to the mix of sensations that had you spiraling.
“Feel me?” he rasped, dragging a hand up your spine to fist your hair gently, pulling just enough to make you arch. “So deep inside you. Fuck.”
You whimpered, barely able to form words, barely able to breathe with how good he felt, how he filled every inch of you like he was made for this.
“Talk to me,” he urged, voice raw. “Let me hear you.”
“I’m—” Your words broke off into a moan as he angled his hips just right, hitting that spot that made stars burst behind your eyes.
“Yeah?” he taunted, a smirk in his voice. “Right there, huh?”
You could only nod frantically, your body trembling as he picked up the pace, chasing both of your releases. His angled his hips once more and that made you let out something primal.
“Damn, yes fuck me back,” he crooned just before you felt his lips touch the middle of spine. You shivered at the sensation, moaning out his name like a prayer.
“Aurélien….”
He rocked into you harder, faster and it made your toes curl. He was relentless and you loved every second of it. The sounds you both were making was the perfect lullaby of lust and pleasure.
“Mm…shit….Aurélien.” You couldn’t stop from moaning his name and judging by the way his hands gripped your hips each time, you could tell that he liked it.
Soon, you both were pushed over that edge, moaning as your orgasm overwhelmed your entire body. After awhile, you felt him slip out of you and then the bed shifted as he moved to throw out the condom.
Your body still hummed with the aftershocks of pleasure, limbs heavy, breath slowly evening out. You were probably a mess — hair wild, lips swollen, body still flushed with heat — but Aurélien? He looked unfairly good.
He was leaning back against the headboard, his chest still rising and falling steadily, dark skin glowing under the dim light. The chain that had been dangling in your face minutes ago now rested against his collarbones, catching the light with each small movement. He reached over to grab his Gatorade, unscrewing the cap and taking a long sip before setting it on the bedside table.
Then, he turned to you, dark eyes scanning your face, something soft in his expression. “You want some?”
You shook your head, not because you weren’t thirsty, but because you couldn’t stop staring at him.
His lips quirked slightly. “You must really like me.”
The way he said it wasn’t cocky or teasing — it was knowing, like he’d been piecing it together all night. And maybe he was right, because you couldn’t help the dopey-ass smile that spread across your face.
Aurélien chuckled, shaking his head before exhaling through his nose. “I like you too. Wish you didn’t beat me to sliding in the DMs first, though.”
You lifted a brow. “You really mad about that?”
He made a little face, scrunching his nose slightly, which was unfairly adorable for someone who had just rearranged your insides. “Not that much,” he admitted. “But I would’ve liked the chase.”
You scoffed, rolling onto your side to face him. “The chase? What are you, a lion?”
That made him smile, a real one, warm and lazy, like he was letting his guard down completely. “When a guy likes a girl, he usually asks her out first,” he said simply. “You were in my likes, I was in yours… I was about to slide through, but yeah, you beat me to it.”
Your stomach did a little flip.
He reached out then, running a hand down your arm before linking his fingers loosely with yours. “But I’m gonna do the rest, okay?”
Your breath caught, your heart stumbling in your chest. This was Aurélien Tchouaméni, your crush, your dream, and now, here he was — holding your hand, looking at you like this wasn’t just some one-night thing.
“Okay,” you whispered, squeezing his fingers lightly.
His smile widened, and then he tugged you closer, pressing a lingering kiss to your forehead before settling beside you, keeping your hand in his like he wasn’t planning to let go anytime soon.
You couldn’t help but stare at him — at the strong lines of his face, the sharp jaw softened by the faintest hint of stubble, the fullness of his lips, the way his lashes rested against his cheeks when he blinked. He was so beautiful.
“What?” he murmured, catching you staring.
You shrugged, biting your lip. “Just thinking.”
“About what?”
How crazy it was that you were here. That this wasn’t a dream. That your crush — the man who dominated the midfield with an effortless cool, the one you’d written lyrics about, the one you’d been too shy to DM for the longest time — was lying next to you, holding your hand like it was the most natural thing in the world.
“About how wild this is,” you admitted.
Aurélien chuckled, his dimples flashing as he turned onto his side, propping his head up with his free hand. “Yeah?”
You nodded. “I mean, this time yesterday, I was just hoping you’d even notice me at the game. Now I’m in your bed.”
That smirk made a reappearance, but his voice was soft when he said, “I noticed you way before the game, bébé.”
Your stomach flipped. “Yeah?”
“Of course,” he said easily. “You think I wasn’t watching whenever you posted on Instagram? When you DM’d me?”
Your face warmed. “You didn’t answer right away.”
He grinned, teasing. “Had to make you sweat a little.”
You scoffed, rolling your eyes. “Wow, so you really are a lion.”
“Gotta keep things interesting,” he mused. Then, more seriously, “But I was always gonna answer.”
Something about the way he said it made your heart squeeze. Like he wasn’t just saying it to make you feel good. Like, in some way, he’d been waiting for this too.
You swallowed. “And now that I’m here?”
Aurélien’s eyes darkened slightly, but there was something tender in his gaze as he squeezed your fingers. “Now,” he murmured, shifting closer, “I’m making sure you come back.”
Your breath caught, and before you could think of a response, he kissed you.
It was slow this time, unhurried, like he wanted to take his time tasting you. His lips moved against yours with an intoxicating rhythm, deepening the kiss little by little until you were completely lost in it. His hand came up to cup your jaw, thumb stroking over your cheek as he kissed you like he had all the time in the world.
And maybe he did. Maybe this wasn’t just for tonight.
Maybe, just maybe, this was only the beginning.
Aurélien pulled back just enough to search your face, his lips still brushing against yours, his breath warm against your skin. His fingers traced slow, lazy patterns along your arm as he studied you with that knowing smirk that made your stomach flip.
“That song,” he murmured. “It’s about me, isn’t it?”
Your heart stuttered.
For a second, you thought about playing coy, maybe teasing him a little, but what was the point? He already knew. You could see it in the glint of amusement in his eyes, the confidence in his voice.
You sighed, defeated but grinning. “Yeah,” you admitted softly. “It’s about you.”
Aurélien chuckled, shaking his head like he’d known it all along. “I knew it,” he said, his voice rich with satisfaction. “You should write another one.”
You huffed out a laugh. “Another song?”
“Mm-hmm.” His fingers brushed down your back, tracing the curve of your spine. “One about tonight.”
Your breath hitched at the implication, at the way his voice had dipped lower, rougher.
You bit your lip. “Might have to.”
Aurélien grinned. “Good,” he murmured, kissing you again. “Make it a love song.”
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gatheringbones · 2 days ago
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[“In the dungeon, the dominatrix was a paragon of high-femme adornment, training submissive men in the supposedly organic wisdom of her gender. In reality, I was trying on this kind of glamour and ultrafemininity for the first time.
Two things helped me to fall in love with mani-pedis and skin creams and click-clacking around in dramatically slanted stilettos in my 20s, despite rejecting these sartorial amusments growing up. One was that I was making cash money to do it, which was much more motivating than the Seventeen magazines and peer pressures of my adolescence. Second, I was surrounded by beautiful naked women encouraging me to develop my own style. Most of my colleagues were much more experienced with makeup, hair, lingerie, jewelry, heels, nails, lotion, and perfume, much more confident in products, styling, shapes, and colors than I was. Some of them were sweetly excited about my ineptitude, eagerly turning me into a doll they could experiment on. I smelled the sizzle of flat irons as they tugged at my hair from behind, I squeezed eyelash glue nervously along the rinds of falsies as they timed me, I sat on the cold linoleum and snapped their garters into place every day for weeks until I could do it with my eyes closed. As their hands and tools stroked my body, conditioning me in more ways than one, I felt an ASMR buzz all over. If I felt objectified, it was as an exalted precious object, like a car being tuned up under my hood, my exteriors waxed until I shined.
A colleague turned to me out of the blue one day, snapping, “What is your skin care routine?” When I sheepishly replied that I had none, she marched me into the bathroom, sternly showing me how to cleanse, moisturize, and always wear sunscreen. I have done this every single day since. That’s all it took for me to learn to care for myself in this way. A little feminine superiority.
If this sounds familiar, it should. Despite being assigned female at birth, I was just as enchanted as any dude could have been by confident pros guiding me into a realm of prettiness, and I needed every bit as much coaching. I would get femme trained by my colleagues, and minutes later I would lead clients into session rooms and train them to be femme too.
I’m hardly the first person to observe that drag is drag no matter your resting gender, your genitals, your orientation, your motivation. Not to put too fine a point on it, but most sex workers know we are drag artists. Much in the same way that pro wrestlers exaggerate their own masculinity, the dominatrix is a femme maximalist entertainer. The fact that a cis woman can feel like a drag queen speaks to the performative nature of gender expression, of both drag as an art and cross-dressing as a fetish. By and large, my cross-dressing clients didn’t want to be women. They wanted to be bimbos! They embodied their own ideas of insatiable sluts and campy cartoons. Maximalist girls, exaggerated girls, megawatt girls. They wanted satin corsets, jewel tones, iridescent glitter, fishnets, freesia body spray. They spoke like Betty Boop and did their best to stiffly dance along to Prince songs. They saw this glamour as sparkling dynamite to bust them out of the prison of their toxic masculinity, even if just for a few hours, even if only superficially.
I didn’t find these fantasies a reminder of the awful pressures of girliness I had initially rejected; gender-bending in the dungeon showed me that I had been positioned to see femme all wrong. The bimbo is an archetype, a shimmering human invention waiting to be embodied by anyone who cares to summon her. It’s the choice to play with gender as an adult, as opposed to a lifetime of imposed messaging about what kind of gender you can and can’t be, that generates the erotic pleasures of cross-dressing.
I enjoyed being bullied into girliness by my fellow pro-dommes, so I empathized with our clients, regardless of the gender trajectory that led us to femme power play. All of the qualities that we expressed as feminine—from soft clothes to luscious scents to sucking cock—had belonged to all of us the whole time. I get why a cis dominatrix wouldn’t want to participate in forced feminization. I also get why many trans people, trans women in particular, find the existence of transvestitism to be so painful. When you have to fight so hard every day for the fundamental dignity and civil rights of your gender, it can be agonizing to see someone treat that gender as frivolous. Cross-dressing clients were often annoyingly reductive, like young adults on rumspringa, gorging themselves on the sugar high of femininity after being denied it for so long. It was clear to me that some of these fetishists liked cross-dressing sessions because it happened to be the variation on humiliation that their submissive tendencies had alighted on, emasculation being one of a hundred ways of having your social status lowered by a dominatrix. Others would have liked to wear dresses and bubblegum-flavored lip gloss more often, including in situations where they weren’t necessarily aroused. Still others weren’t actually cross-dressers at all, but closeted or crypto-transgender women. The kinky space was the only one they knew where they could be themselves using what they saw as a safe, private, and limited method. Some of them would transition eventually, and some would keep that part of themselves compartmentalized their entire lives. All three of these categories of person deserve the space to explore their gender expression through erotic fantasy.
Some cross-dressing fetishists are cis. Some trans women are butch. Some drag artists are straight. There’s no one way to do or be any of these things, and while we can experiment with identity through art and erotics, we shouldn’t conflate persona with personhood. Most importantly, trans people of all kinds deserve an existence that is both sexually liberated and not constantly sexualized. I would love to report that we have reached the point in the gender revolution where cross-dressing is redundant because there is nothing to cross. But erotics are still a viable way for us to explore who we really are, or would like to be.”]
tina horn, from why are people into that? a cultural investigation of kink, 2024
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star-41306 · 1 day ago
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How do y'all think the duffers are going to go about initiating Byler?
I've been thinking about this a lot lately and would love some thoughts on how everyone thinks Byler will progress. This is my opinion on the matter. (PS: this is a very mike centered analysis as I believe his perspective is the most beneficial to the conversation since he is at the center)
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Mike is hiding his feelings for Will, but what benefit does this have for those involved? To us, the viewers, we can see the pain Will, El, and Mike experience through this situation. No party is receiving what they truly need to progress their happiness and growth.
El wants a boyfriend who will tell her that he loves her for who she is as a person, not her capabilities. At the heart of this is a need to be understood, but El herself doesn't really know who she is. Her growth is dependent on finding herself without outside influence.
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Mike wants a girlfriend to seem/feel 'normal' and cool. He knows who he is but is repressing it. At the heart of this is a need to be desired. Sure, El wants him, but she does not know the truth about Mike. Mike's growth is dependent on someone finding comfort in the real him.
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Will wants someone to treat him normal. He knows he's a freak and while he doesn't necessarily try to hide it, he wants the comfort of not being treated differently for it. Will's growth is dependent on the acceptance of those around him.
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The existence of a romantic relationship between Mike and El goes against all of this potential growth. Mike idolizes El, never being able to see past her abilities. El is unable to find herself at the cost of being mikes cover. While doing this, he rejects his true self and affection for Will, because he believes he is doing what's right. Simultaneously, Will is left feeling dejected and alone in the disregard of his feelings.
I think Mike has very low self-esteem. It comes with the territory of being a nerdy queer teenager in the 80's. I also, however, believe that when he has enough faith in himself, or the stakes are high enough, he's good at taking charge of a situation. He is selfless, a kind of selfless where you can't always tell he cares for those around him, but he would sacrifice his own comfort and livelihood for the people he loves.
But if Mike is so selfless, why isn't he fixing the situation for everyone involved? Because of one simple fact: He is clueless. He has no idea what he's doing to El or Will.
He may know Will is upset about something while in the Van with him, but that boy has no idea what's going on in Wills head. He might not even realize the painting he got from Will is the one El was talking about in her letter. With everything going on, he probably still thinks will has a girl he likes back up in Cali and this is a completely different painting.
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He senses El is upset and won't talk to him, but he thinks it's because she lost to Vecna. He has not even the slightest clue it's partially due to his conditional and untrue love confession. El believes that mike only said he loved her because she finally got her powers back.
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Mike thinks he gave El and Will what they wanted. El wanted a love confession? check. Will wanted mike to move on and fix his relationship with El? check. done and done. At least that's what he thinks.
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Now that we have motives and perspective out of the way, here's a general idea of how I think the Milkvan-Byler transition will pan out.
We have already established in the show that Will is too selfless to confess, thinking he's saving a perfectly healthy relationship that just so happens to involve the boy he loves and the girl who saved him. There is no way he would break them up on his own, or he would have done that already. The action relies on Mike and El. They both need to respectively decide a breakup is necessary for this to work.
The breakup cannot be prompted by one or the other, it must be prompted by both. Mike cannot be the only one desiring a breakup, because El needs to take her power back and make that decision by herself. At the same time though, El can't be the only one either, as mike needs to accept his feelings on his own and stop being someone he's not. Mike not initiating would also make Will seem like a second option and completely negate Wills growth of being accepted for simply being.
El will have distanced herself from mike tremendously. They may not have broken up officially, but she's realizing Mike is not what she needs right now. She will probably be spending time with Hopper and Joyce training to fight Vecna, and the reminder that that's the only thing mike seems to like about her will only push her more towards her own sense of self. Maybe she still has hope for her and mike, but that is not her focus right now.
While El is distanced, Mike and Will will fall into the same roles they did in season 2. Will will struggle with the supernatural aspects of the plot, while Mike takes care of him and keeps him safe. This will restore Mike and Wills friendship.
Mike simultaneously will realize how much happier he is away from El, because he can't help but act like someone he's not when he's around her. He will also realize the comfort he finds in being relied on by Will. This won't necessarily prompt him into the breakup, as he still believes dating El is the best way he can support her. He might want Will, but he still feels like he can't have him.
I Because of this, El will be the first to initiate, but it will be mutual. I think they will have a long discussion (maybe starting as a fight) about Mikes lies in his speech and the pressure he felt to conform to this relationship. El will share how his actions have not helped the relationship, but instead made them both feel miserable, trapped, and unappreciated. They will realize that the other is not what they need, and though they will both need platonic support through this journey, they just can't benefit each other this way.
While Mike and Will are reconnecting, El will finally notice... everything. The stares, soft voices, comforting, and everything will click. El might need some help understanding though, because even though she did not have a normal childhood, she is still subjected to heteronormativity even if she joined the game late. She will make the connection that that is how she should have been treated, and though they are both boys, I think a sit down with one of the other characters (Johnathan? Hopper? Joyce?) will help her connect the dots.
I think the painting and mikes feelings for Will may become an entirely different discussion later in the season, and this is what will push mike into feeling allowed to want him. The combined acceptance from El, and the implied reciprocation from Will could be the push mike needs for his own self-acceptance.
This will allow Byler to build up in a healthy way where all parties benefit and are able to build even stronger connections with each other. Through honesty, acceptance, and love, all of which have been lacking.
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Thank you if you read all of this. Please let me know if you feel like this will go in an entirely different direction in ST5!!!
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galateaunloved · 1 day ago
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^^^^
Also i want to remind people that there is nuance to this statement. What Liri meant by this, I can't tell you. Many people in israel do believe that unintervened, Hamasnik children will be indoctornated into martyrism aka terrorism. At no point in this quote does Liri say "kill them all". At no point in this quote is tbere a call to action. But many israelis believe that this is the truth SIMPLY BECAUSE under Hamas' rule, THAT IS WHAT THEY WANT. They want these children to look at Liri, an israeli slave caretaking them, and to feel superior. They want there to be 2 million martyrs among the gazans. Hamas indoctrinates children into believing that they should dream of becoming martyrs, and for Hamas, that means terrorism.
Whether you feel like this is an overexaggeration, a horrible statement that should not be judged because of the trauma of the victim, or a radicalization of the internet in order to create hatred, all things which may be true, that fact is that this statement ALONE does not call for killing. However you want to take that is on you.
Also, OP, the fact that this quote concerns you is, with all respect, your problem. Different people take different things from statementa, that's just life. "This just paints us as even worse to the opposing side" who? The Gazans? Who Liri is saying want to kill us already (justified, unjustified, revenge, jihad, whatever motive irrelevent)? Or the "world" who will hate Jews no matter what we do? You care about sensationalization, but you're inferring from this statement that Liri is "blaming... children". I don't feel that way about this statement. I do not see a blame on children at all. I can understand why you might, but i see a lot of room for nuance here. This is a very frank statement that, like i said earlier, does not call to action at all NOR does the word "blame" or "fault" appear at all. In my opinion, the sensationalization will come from outside actors (like the ig account, as others have pointed out) no matter what she said. But you seem to be blaming her ("i feel like there is better... wording" -> her wording is somehow wrong -> she is wrong/should not have said it) for saying something that doesn't align with your world view. Imo facts can exist without inherent morality attached to them. There might be 2 million people who, given the time and energy, would become terrorists in gaza. That does not make those people irredeemably evil or whatever morality you are trying to attach to that statement. Like I said earlier, what you do, or believe should be done, with that information is up to you.
And like others said, fine if it makes you uncomfortable, but Liri does not owe anyone nuance. She does not owe anyone carefully chosen words. She gets to pick the words she wants to pick (which, I'm guessing are actually translated here) and just because she says something you think is morally wrong does not make her morally irredeemable. And if it does, then you're a Christian.
BEFORE YOU RESPOND: IF YOU HAVE NOTHING INTELLIGENT OR PRODUCTIVE TO SAY DO NOT SAY IT!
Jumblr (and others who wish to contribute in a respectful manner) i would like to discuss this post and get your thoughts on it!
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Personally – something about this does not sit right with me. I understand what they're trying to say, but I feel like there is a better, less sensational wording. Not only do extreme and absolute statements like this just paint us as even worse in the eyes of the opposing side, but i also feel like it is unfair and lacks nuance. Not that I'm excusing it, but when you're a literal child and are raised with propaganda shoved down your throat and embedded in your language OF COURSE you are going to believe it and regurgitate it. It's their entire existence, it's all they know. I feel like we shouldn't be blaming young, impressionable children, but rather the adults indoctrinating them and molding their minds in such a way.
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olderwomenenthusiast · 1 day ago
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undercover aftermath (emily prentiss)
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PAIRING: emily prentiss & fem reader DESCRIPTION: emily reminds you who you belong to after being undercover CAUTION: spit, swearing, fingering, oral, strap-on, power dynamics, slight mention of your undercover stint WORD COUNT: 2.7k AUTHOR'S NOTE: sorry for any mistakes, i wrote this at 3am x
The case had been brutal. Deep undercover, you had played your part perfectly, too perfectly, as far as Emily was concerned. You had spent weeks infiltrating a high-profile trafficking ring, posing as an informant willing to trade information for protection. The role required you to get close to dangerous men, to endure their scrutiny, their suspicion, and, ultimately, their violence.
It was part of the job, you reminded yourself each time a hand lingered too long on your waist, each time a leering gaze made your skin crawl. You had prepared for it, trained for it. But nothing could have truly prepared you for the moment one of the men decided to test your loyalty.
They had cornered you in a warehouse, questioning your motives, threatening to expose you. A punch to the ribs to make you talk, a knee to the stomach to remind you of your place. You played your role flawlessly, feigning just enough fear to convince them, keeping just enough strength to make it out alive. The team had extracted you before it escalated further, but Emily had seen enough. She had seen the blood on your lip, the bruise forming beneath your shirt, and the way you winced when you breathed. And she had been forced to do nothing, to stay in character, to keep her rage in check until the case was wrapped up.
Now that you were finally safe in your hotel room, she was done holding back.
The moment the door clicked shut behind you, Emily grabbed your face and kissed you hard. There was no hesitation, no preamble, just raw possession in the way her tongue parted your lips and claimed you. Her hands gripped your waist, pressing you into the wall, her thigh slipping between yours with deliberate pressure.
"You’re mine," she growled, voice thick with frustration and something darker, something desperate.
"Em --" Your voice barely made it out before she was nipping at your jaw, sucking a bruise just beneath your ear, her fingers already working at your shirt.
"Take this off," she demanded. You obeyed without hesitation, wincing slightly as the fabric brushed over your ribs. Emily’s eyes darkened, her fingertips ghosting over the deep bruise before she kissed the spot - soft at first, then harder, her teeth grazing over sensitive skin.
"They hurt you," she murmured, voice softer now, but no less intense. "I’m going to make you forget every second of it."
Then she was everywhere at once - lips, hands, body pressed to yours as she guided you toward the bed. You barely registered the moment your back hit the mattress before Emily was stripping you completely, her eyes locked onto you like you were the only thing that mattered.
She spread your legs wide, her gaze darkening as she took in the sight of your soaked pussy, glistening and aching for her touch. "Fuck," she breathed, dragging her fingers up your inner thigh, teasing just shy of where you needed her most. "So wet already. You want me to take care of you, don’t you?"
You whimpered, hips shifting in search of contact, but Emily only chuckled, pressing a single finger along your slit, sliding it up to circle your clit in agonizingly slow motions.
"Look at you," she murmured, voice thick with arousal. "So fucking needy."
She leaned down, lips pressing open-mouthed kisses along your stomach, her breath warm as she finally flicked her tongue over your clit. The sudden contact made you jolt, a sharp gasp escaping as she wrapped her lips around the sensitive bundle of nerves and sucked.
"Oh, fuck..." Your fingers tangled in her hair, your body arching as she licked you with broad, slow strokes, her tongue relentless, flicking and teasing, alternating between sucking and circling your swollen clit. She knew exactly how to unravel you, how to make you squirm and plead, her hands gripping your thighs, keeping you spread open for her.
She trailed her mouth up, hovering over your chest, her eyes locked onto yours. Then she gathered saliva in her mouth and spit onto your nipples, watching as it glistened over your sensitive skin. Her tongue followed immediately after, swirling the warm spit around each hardened peak, teasing, flicking, then sucking one deep into her mouth.
The sensation made you moan, your back arching as she switched to the other nipple, giving it the same attention; spitting, swirling, sucking, her teeth grazing just enough to send pleasure straight to your core.
When she slid two fingers inside your dripping cunt, you moaned, your walls clenching around the intrusion. She curled them just right, pressing against your sweet spot, thrusting slow and deep as her tongue continued its torment.
"You’re dripping for me, baby," Emily groaned, pulling back just enough to watch her fingers disappear into your pussy. She pushed them in deeper, twisting them slightly, making your back arch. "God, I love watching you take my fingers."
She fucked you slow, dragging it out, savoring the way you clenched around her, the way you writhed beneath her touch. When she added a third finger, stretching you open, your moans turned desperate, your body trembling.
"Cum for me," she ordered, her voice low, demanding. "I want to feel you soak my fingers."
Her words pushed you over the edge, pleasure slamming into you as your pussy clenched around her fingers, your orgasm tearing through you in waves. Emily didn’t stop, she fucked you through it, her thumb pressing firm circles against your clit, her mouth devouring every sound you made.
When you finally came down, chest heaving, body spent, Emily pulled her fingers from you, watching as your slick coated them. She brought them to your lips, pressing them inside your mouth. "Suck," she commanded.
You obeyed, tasting yourself as you wrapped your lips around her fingers, watching as her pupils blew wide with hunger. "Good girl," she praised, her voice dark, dripping with satisfaction.
She reached for the nightstand, retrieving the strap-on she had packed - one that you both knew she loved using on you. Adjusting the harness, she stroked the thick silicone, watching you as she spread your legs even wider.
"You want my cock?" she teased, pressing the tip against your entrance, barely pushing in.
"Yes," you breathed, rocking your hips toward her. "Please, Em."
That was all she needed. She thrust forward, stretching you inch by inch, filling you until she bottomed out, the base grinding against her clit. The pressure made her moan, her hands gripping your hips as she started to move.
She set a punishing pace; deep, relentless, each thrust driving the thick strap-on against your sweet spot with devastating precision. Your gasps turned into sharp cries, your nails raking down her back as she fucked you harder, the sound of skin on skin echoing in the room.
"Look at you," she murmured, watching your face twist in pleasure. "Taking my cock so well."
She reached down, rubbing your clit in tight, fast circles, her other hand pressing down on your stomach, feeling the way the strap filled you. "Feel that?" she whispered. "That’s me stretching you, owning you."
It was too much, the relentless thrusts, the way she played your body so perfectly. Your orgasm hit hard, your pussy clenching around the toy as pleasure tore through you. Emily groaned, grinding against you, her own release shuddering through her as the base of the strap rubbed against her clit.
Your body was still trembling from your last orgasm when Emily pulled out, but she wasn’t done with you. Not even close. She pressed a lingering kiss to your lips, tasting your pleasure, before trailing down your body with a smirk that sent shivers through you.
“You think I’m finished?” she murmured, her fingers tracing circles on your inner thigh. “Oh, baby, I’m just getting started.”
Before you could respond, she flipped you over effortlessly, pressing your stomach against the mattress as she gripped your ass and spread you open.
“You’re dripping all over the sheets,” she purred, her voice thick with amusement and arousal. “Such a messy little thing.”
Then, without warning, she leaned in and licked a slow, teasing stripe over your soaked pussy, flicking her tongue against your clit before moving lower. She moaned as she tasted you, her grip tightening on your hips. Her tongue was relentless, dipping inside you, sucking, devouring. When you whimpered and pushed back against her mouth, she chuckled against your skin.
“You want more?” she mused. “Then ride my face.”
She pulled you up onto your knees, guiding you over her mouth. You braced yourself against the headboard as Emily gripped your thighs and pulled you down onto her tongue. The first stroke made your breath hitch, the sensation of her mouth working you over making your legs shake.
Emily moaned beneath you, her tongue flicking, sucking, teasing as she ate you like she was starving. She gripped your ass, holding you in place as she devoured you, her moans vibrating against your sensitive flesh.
You rocked against her face, desperate and needy, grinding down as she licked into you, her nose nudging your clit just right. The pleasure was overwhelming, sharp and electric.
“Fuck, Emily, babyy”
She didn’t stop, didn’t let up, her tongue pushing you closer and closer until --
Your orgasm crashed over you like a tidal wave, making you cry out, your body convulsing as pleasure burned through you.
But Emily wasn’t done.
Still reeling from your high, you barely had time to catch your breath before Emily flipped you onto your back again, her predatory gaze locked onto yours. She reached for the strap-on, adjusting the harness, her fingers wrapping around the thick length as she smirked down at you.
“Head over the edge,” she ordered, her voice dark with intent.
You obeyed, your pulse quickening as you positioned yourself as she wanted. Your head hung over the side of the bed, your mouth already parting in anticipation as Emily knelt over you, lining the silicone cock up with your lips.
“You’re going to take it, aren’t you?” she purred, rubbing the tip over your lips. “Gonna be my good little slut and swallow it all?”
You nodded eagerly, opening wide as she slid the tip past your lips. She started slow, letting you adjust, but soon, her patience ran thin. She gripped your jaw and thrust deeper, pushing past the back of your throat as a muffled moan escaped you.
“Fuck, that’s it,” she groaned, her hips rolling as she used your mouth.
The weight of her against your tongue, the way she held your head in place, was intoxicating. Your throat tightened around the strap as she fucked into your mouth, her moans growing louder as the harness rubbed against her clit.
And then...
Smack.
A sharp slap landed on your pussy, making you jolt, your muffled gasp vibrating around the strap.
Emily chuckled darkly. “Sensitive, aren’t you?”
She did it again, a sting of pleasure-pain that made heat pool between your thighs. Then her fingers were there, rubbing your clit in tight, punishing circles as she kept thrusting into your mouth.
“You love this, don’t you?” she growled, her movements growing more frantic. “Getting fucked like this, used like this?”
You moaned around her, your entire body burning with need. She pressed down harder on your clit, the pressure sending you spiraling toward another orgasm. The combination of being filled, overstimulated, and owned had you shuddering as you came hard, your body shaking beneath her.
Emily pulled out of your mouth, panting, her pupils blown wide as she took in the sight of you - lips swollen, eyes dazed and slightly teary, body spent and trembling.
She leaned down, capturing your lips in a messy, hungry kiss.
“You’re not done yet,” she murmured against your mouth. “I still have one more round for you.”
You pushed her onto her back, straddling her waist as you ran your hands down her toned stomach, feeling the way she tensed beneath your touch. Her pupils were still blown wide with lust, but there was a flicker of surprise as she looked up at you.
“Oh?” she smirked, lips swollen from all the ways she’d claimed you. “You think you’re in charge now, Princess?”
Instead of answering, you slid down her body, trailing kisses down her stomach, your tongue flicking over the dips and curves of her muscles. Emily inhaled sharply when you reached her inner thighs, spreading her legs wider as you settled between them.
The strap-on had long been ditched.
She was dripping, her arousal glistening against her flushed skin. You licked your lips, teasing her with slow, deliberate kisses along the inside of her thighs, purposely avoiding where she needed you most.
“Don’t tease,” she warned, her voice low and dangerous.
You smirked. “What happened to patience?”
Emily growled in frustration, but before she could grab your hair and shove you into her, you finally gave her what she wanted. You licked a slow, teasing stripe up her slit, making her breath hitch. Then, with no warning, you shoved your tongue deep inside her, curling it as she gasped and arched off the bed.
“Fuck..”
You gripped her thighs, holding her open as you fucked her with your tongue, moving in deep, slow strokes before flicking your tongue against that sensitive spot inside her. She clenched around you, her hands tangling in your hair as she rocked against your face, chasing her pleasure.
“You—ah—” Emily’s voice broke, her dominance crumbling as you pushed her higher. “Fucking hell, baby.”
You sucked her clit into your mouth, swirling your tongue over the swollen bundle of nerves before sliding two fingers inside her, curling them just right.
Emily gasped, her entire body tensing. “Don’t stop,” she panted, her grip tightening. “Don’t fucking stop...”
You didn’t. You fucked her with your fingers, your tongue never leaving her clit, sucking and flicking until her thighs trembled around your head. When you added a third finger, stretching her, her moans turned desperate.
“God—fuck—” Emily’s body arched, her head thrown back against the pillows as pleasure slammed into her. Her thighs squeezed around your head as she came hard, her body shuddering, her nails digging into your scalp as she rode the waves of her orgasm.
You kept your mouth on her, licking her through it, drinking in every drop of her pleasure until she was trembling beneath you, her breathing uneven, her muscles twitching from the overstimulation.
Finally, when she whimpered from the sensitivity, you pulled back, licking your lips as you moved up to kiss her. Emily grabbed your face, dragging you into a slow, deep kiss, tasting herself on your tongue as she let out a soft, satisfied hum.
Emily’s dominance had melted into something softer as she pulled you into her arms, rolling you onto your side. She kissed your forehead, then your temple, her hands stroking up and down your back in slow, soothing motions.
“You did so good for me, baby,” she murmured, her lips brushing against your skin. “So fucking perfect.”
You nuzzled into her, your body warm and relaxed in her embrace. She reached for a nearby towel, gently wiping away the slick between your thighs, making sure you were comfortable before pulling the blankets over both of you.
Her arms wrapped around you tightly, one hand cradling the back of your head as she pressed another kiss to your hair. “Are you okay?” she whispered, her voice laced with genuine care.
You sighed contentedly. “More than okay.”
Emily chuckled softly, her fingers tracing slow circles on your hip. “Good. Because you’re mine,” she murmured, pressing a kiss to your lips, slow and deep. “And I take care of what’s mine.”
Your heart swelled at her words, at the way she held you so securely, grounding you in her warmth.
“I love you,” you murmured against her lips.
Emily smiled, brushing a strand of hair from your face. “I love you more, Princess.”
With that, she pulled you impossibly closer, her arms locking around you as the steady rhythm of her heartbeat lulled you into peaceful exhaustion.
Safe. Loved. Completely hers.
And that was all you ever needed.
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pythagoras180 · 2 days ago
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How "Sublimation" manipulates Sublime, and the audience.
So I have a question for everyone: Why did Marinette pretend to be akumatized, pour soap on the floor, and cause the new girl Sublime's prosthetics to break? (I know it was an accident, that doesn't make it okay.) I know a lot of people are going to say it was because Marinette was trying to become her friend, but is just really dumb and keeps screwing things up. But no, that's not the case. Marinette did what she did because she overheard Sublime talking to herself and thought she liked Adrien and was trying to steal him. The entire first part of the episode actually has little effect on this, it's actually just a shield against criticism towards Marinette. I'll try to explain how.
Imagine if we deleted the whole first part of the episode, all the stuff about Marinette trying to help Sublime and be her friend. Imagine if instead the episode started in the bathroom, with Marinette misunderstanding Sublime. In this scenario, what would stay the same in the episode? Well, almost everything. Marinette would still pretend to be akumatized, still pour soap on the floor, still show up as Ladybug, Sublime's mom would still get akumatized, and all the action in the episode would go exactly the same. So what would change in this scenario? Well, Adrien wouldn't have told Sublime about Marinette trying to be her friend, so Sublime wouldn't have believed that's why Marinette did what she did, so Sublime wouldn't have forgiven her so easily. So yeah, the entire point of the first half of the episode was to give Marinette an excuse for what she did, and so Sublime and much of the audience would misunderstand her motives. The writers had Marinette do a bunch of dumb things with good intentions so that once she did something really bad, Sublime and the audience would be confused and think it was also done with good intentions.
Want the final nail in the coffin? Ladybug says that she was the real villain here. If Marinette really did have only good intentions and caused the problems by just being dumb, then isn't calling herself the villain being really harsh? Making innocent mistakes doesn't make someone a villain. But pretending to be akumatized to scare a girl away from your boyfriend because you're jealous does.
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literaryvein-reblogs · 2 days ago
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How to make a fic or writing longer how to add stuff without making it boring
Writing Ideas: Adding Details to your Story
Keep engaging the reader every few pages. Do not spend the first act introducing your characters. Let the reader discover your characters as they are catapulted into the concept. Let the reader learn their motivations and arcs as they are bombarded by the conflict that you are hopefully throwing them into from the get-go. Let there be a mystery to it. Why show your whole hand when you can keep a reader invested and engaged by slowly peeling away the layers of the character as they deal with the conflict and overall concept? Continue to build and build and build, whether it’s with the laughs, the drama, the screams, the mystery, the thrills, the action, etc. Offer as many twists and turns as you can. Lead that reader towards something, only to pull the rug out from underneath them just when they feel that they know where you’re going with it.
The HCM Plotting Method
List the Heart-Clutching Moments you’ve already thought of—you know, those pivotal points in your story that will evoke all the intensity of that “look behind you!” response in your readers.
Think of more.
Construct your story around them. Don’t focus on your loosely formed storyline. Focus on the key points in your story.
What Is an HCM? Some examples:
Love at first sight (Marius Pontmercy meets Cosette)
A huge moral lapse (Judas takes the money)
Murder (Miles Archer’s sets Sam Spade in motion)
Death by other means (Injun Joe starves to death in the cave)
A refusal of grace (Mayella Ewell sticks to her story in spite of taking the courtroom oath)
Nature gone wild (shark dines on first recreational swimmer)
Someone standing up to corruption (Shane picks up his gun again)
A change of heart, for good or ill (Michael Corleone offers to kill Sollozzo and Captain McCluskey)
An act of depraved violence (Bill Sykes cudgels Nancy)
Betrayal (Sandy puts a stop to her mentor Jean Brodie)
Forgiveness (Melanie insists Scarlett join her in the receiving line)
A revelation (Pip’s secret benefactor is none other than … !)
HCMs can be active, whole scenes. Some examples:
A lifesaving attempt
A chase
A battle
A seduction
A caper
Make a list of Heart-Clutching Moments and put them on index cards in rough order. Then you can build an outline based on any form you desire, be it classical drama, farce, or anything in between. If you get stuck, do any of the following:
Start writing one of your HCM scenes. Immediately the scene itself should prompt ideas, perhaps for new courses of action or even new characters.
Write deeper into an HCM scene you’ve written already. You’ll likely find yourself coming up with bridges between scenes—and thinking of more elements to enhance your story.
Look for places to add conflict, suffering, or frustration.
Example: Shakespeare wanted to take Macbeth from conquering hero to murderous traitor whose decapitation at the hands of one of his countrymen is the only possible, imaginable end.
How does he do it? Reread the play and you’ll realize that one HCM leads to the next, fast and furious: The witches’ stunning prophecies, Macbeth’s realization that he could be king, his wife’s corrupt ambition, one murder, two more murders, and more upon that, and prophesy again, and insanity, and suicide … all in the space of 98 pages!
Introduce a ticking clock. A ticking clock is an important element that ramps up pressure on your characters and piques your readers’ curiosity as to how your protagonist can possibly succeed. Set up big promises and obstacles early in a narrative and layer in a time crunch to make a character’s predicament seem dire.
Weave subplots into your narrative. Use subplots effectively to add variety and texture to your narrative and explore characters and backstory. When used well, subplots can artfully pose and answer key questions and flesh out characters.
Add dramatic irony. Dramatic irony is one of the many literary devices that can keep your reader engaged and increase the suspense. If a reader is aware of impending plot points that your characters are not, you can foreshadow plot twists and raise questions in your reader’s mind as to how your characters will deal with the trouble that lies ahead.
Invest in the details. Good writing generally contains sensory details and specific observations that remind readers of real life. A longer story can be much more powerful and less boring with detailed descriptions of the environment in which it takes place.
Open loops. This expands a bit on the idea of hooks and page-turning chapter endings, but the concept here is much broader. Basically the idea is to open boxes … and then take your sweet time in getting around to closing them. If you’re interested in a situation and the story cuts that situation off without resolving it, you’ll do that OH COME ON thing and then keep reading. You can’t rest until you close the loop. So if the story is well-told, you’ll just keep looking for that dropped loop … even if it takes chapters to pay off. It takes many chapters to find out what did happen, and your readers just keep blasting through them, cursing us all the while.
Relentless pacing. Take your time and meander when writing your book. What happens, happens, and try not to rush it. Characters talk and the reader learns plot points. On the contrary, let your readers keep asking, “What happens next?” The answer to that question needs to be exciting. Threatening. Maybe violent. Don't let your characters have much time to catch their breath, because the goal is to keep your readers breathless.
Learning from the Classics. Some Examples:
Armadale by Wilkie Collins, 1864 - Armadale was regarded by author T.S. Eliot as "the best of [his] romances" and includes Lydia Gwilt, a character considered as one of the most astonishing wicked female villains in literature. Drawing on scandalous newspaper headlines, Collins creates a story of confused identities, inherited curses, romantic rivalries, espionage, and murder – making for an action-packed 752 pages.
Les Misérables by Victor Hugo, translated by Norman Denny, 1862 - Adapted into one of the most successful musicals of all time, Les Misérables’ running time in London’s West End is an impressive 2 hours 50 minutes. But for a more immersive experience, try the original novel – a full 1,232 pages of injustice, heroism, and love in 19th-century France.
The Count of Monte Cristo by Alexandre Dumas, 1846 - (1,240 pages) On the day of his wedding, Edmond Dantes, master mariner, is arrested in Marseille on trumped-up charges and spirited away to the cellars of the Chateau d'If, an impregnable sea fortress in which he is imprisoned indefinitely. Escaping from the chateau by a series of daring manoeuvres, he unearths a great treasure on the island of Monte Cristo, buried there by a former fellow prisoner who bequeaths to him the secret of its whereabouts. Thus armed with unimaginable wealth and embittered by his long imprisonment, he resolves to devote his life to tracking down and punishing those responsible.
Ulysses by James Joyce, 1922 - It is one thing to write a novel of 1,040 pages, but quite another to dedicate the entire page count to one single day. Ulysses follows characters Stephen Dedalus, Leopold Bloom and his wife Molly across a day in their lives in 1904 Dublin. Dedalus and Bloom, who are are unaware of each other, are trying to find a missing loved one: the former, his long-lost father, and Bloom, despite being childless, for a son.
War and Peace by Leo Tolstoy, 1869 - (1,225 pages) At a glittering society party in St Petersburg in 1805, conversations are dominated by the prospect of war. Terror swiftly engulfs the country as Napoleon's army marches on Russia, and the lives of three young people are changed forever. The stories of quixotic Pierre, cynical Andrey and impetuous Natasha interweave with a huge cast, from aristocrats and peasants to soldiers and Napoleon himself. In War and Peace, Tolstoy entwines grand themes - conflict and love, birth and death, free will and faith - with unforgettable scenes of nineteenth-century Russia, to create a magnificent epic of human life in all its imperfection and grandeur.
Sources: 1 2 3 4 5 ⚜ More: Notes ⚜ Writing Resources PDFs ⚜ On Pacing
Here are some tips and ideas I found from different sources. Choose which ones you would like to incorporate in your story. Hope this helps with your writing!
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feelbokkie · 3 days ago
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L♡VE IN F♡CUS | Chapter 22
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WARNINGS: swearing, mention of food and eating, depiction of an anxiety attack
PAIRING: idol!Changbin x fem reader
GENRE: smau, crack, angst, fluff
P♡V: 1st/2nd person (depending on how you view it)
SUMMARY: Amateur concert photographer Y/n has recently been promoted to junior music journalist. Her first assignment? An exposé on the popular Kpop boy group, Stray Kids. Spending an entire tour doing in depth interviews with eight men seems simple enough, but one member isn't exactly open to the idea. Will Y/n be able to break down the walls around his heart, or will her big break turn into a big disaster?
TAGLIST: ♡PENED
W♡RD C♡UNT: 2,972
SCREENSH♡T C♡UNT: 21
A/N: I wasn't planning on writing this chapter so soon but on of you sent me a ko-fi and it kinda motivated me to get this chapter done and out.
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You flip through the menu for the fifth time trying to figure out what to eat. Hyunjin and Wonseok happily chat along in their own little world about some art movement—you lost the plot of their conversation ages ago when they started about a specific type of paint and technique that you’re not even going to try to pronounce. Changbin sits across from you, absent-mindedly fiddling with his menu and nodding to the ongoing conversation.
“Are we boring you so much that you’re just going through the menu? Again?” Wonseok asks suddenly.
“I don’t know what to eat,” You grumble quietly.
Wonseok reaches over and turns a few pages in your menu. When he finds the page he's looking for he traces the page with his finger until he lands on one of the menu items. "They have fish and chips right here."
"Yeah, but I didn't think you'd take us to an actual restaurant. I can't order fish and chips while the three of you order...whatever you're going to order. It's like if I went to a restaurant back home and just ordered tteok-bokki...or if we were in the States and I got chicken tenders and fries." You gently push Wonseok's hand away from you and roll your eyes.
Wonseok pulls back his hand and brings it to his temples, almost as if he's starting to get a headache. "This is probably the only time I'm going to get to treat professional idols to a meal, I'm not just going to give them street food. Just order what you really want to eat because you're not going to be able to order fish and chips for dinner at the place we're going to. I don't want to hear you complain about not eating what you wanted for the rest of my life."
You huff out a 'fine' as you close your menu and set it to the side. Your eyes land on Changbin who is quietly scribbling something on a piece of paper that seems to have materialized. You quietly shake your head and turn your attention to Hyunjin who is looking between you and Wonseok, thinking hard about something.
"You know, Wonnie, Hyunjin is an amazing artist." You pull up your broken arm from resting on your lap. "He's the one who drew all over my cast. He posts some of his stuff on his Instagram. He's probably even carrying around his sketchbook in that tote bag of his..."
"Ah, noona..." Hyunjin's voice trails off as he scratches the back of his neck. You can't see his ears under his hat but you can almost imagine how red they're getting.
Wonseok takes your broken arm and carefully examines the doodles and drawings on your cast. Most of them are flowers and plants. Occasionally, there are little characters like the BbokAri he drew next to Felix's message and the puppy next to Seungmin's. There's hardly any room left for anyone else to write anything. Before you forbade any of the members from hanging out with you without someone else there, Hyunjin would find his way to you when he was bored and draw on your arm.
"Wow, these are amazing, Hyunjin! Do you mind if I look at your sketchbook?"
Your arm is returned to you as Wonseok and Hyunjin get wrapped up in yet another art-filled conversation. Changbin is still focused on his piece of paper, scribbling away. Part of you wishes you could pull out the small tablet you brought with you so you could work on editing photos on the ride to the gallery. But you know that'll only cause Wonseok to scold you for working when you're not supposed to. If you could offer more thought to Wonseok and Hyunjin's conversation that isn't just regurgitated garbage from your first-year introduction to art history course that you took back in university, then you could easily join in their conversation.
Deciding to bite the bullet, you sit up a bit straighter in your seat and rest your chin in your good hand. "What are you so focused on writing there Changbin?"
There's a moment of silence between the two of you. He pauses writing but you're not sure if he heard you or is thinking of what to write.
"Lyrics," He mumbles so softly that you almost miss it amongst the noise that is Wonseok and Hyunjin chattering loudly beside you.
"Did you get an idea just now?" You perk up in your seat a bit. "Can...can I see? I won't write about it. It's all off the record."
Changbin's head stays low, focusing on writing his lyrics. It's only now that you're reminded of his inability to focus on more than one thing at a time. The fact that he answered you earlier is strange and probably the most he can do.
You watch him silently as he works. You take note of all of the little things you see. Like the way his brows twitch as he tries not to furrow then while he scribbles something out. Or how the fingers on his nondominant hand dance on the table while his head subtly bops along to a rhythm only known to him. Whether he's simultaneously creating a beat in his head while he works or he's remembering a song that one of the other members of 3racha made is another unknown factor that you wish you knew the answer to. You notice the way he mouths out the words he's writing to himself and how quickly he presses his lips together and shakes his head when it appears to not flow correctly. You can only imagine that this is what it was like watching Michelangelo paint the Sistine Chapel; hypotonic.
You only break out of your trance when your server comes to the table and takes your order, something that neither you nor Changbin noticed until Wonseok and Hyunjin told you. And that's when Changbin finally looked up and caught you staring at him, forcing you to look away as heat rose to your face. Wonseok took advantage of the situation and ordered your food for you before you could change your mind.
After lunch, the four of you decided to walk around London for a bit. When you were working with Han and Seungmin yesterday, you made sure to avoid the more populated and obvious tourist areas, only capturing notable landmarks in the distant background. With more freedom to explore, you all head to the more touristy areas so Hyunjin and Changbin can blend in more seamlessly.
As you walk along the crowded streets, the earlier pain you felt inside the art galley quickly comes back. You're paying less attention to the conversation between Wonseok and Hyunjin and more to your surroundings. Despite the cool day, you feel suffocatingly hot. Almost like something is sucking all of the air out of your lungs.
"...Y/n!"
You snap out of whatever daze you're in at the sound of Wonseok's worried voice. You glance up to meet three concerned faces watching you carefully.
"Sorry, what were you saying?" Your voice is thick is unsteady as you're unable to meet any of their eyes.
"Are you okay? You're walking slowly. I thought we lost you in the crowd for a moment there."
You swallow hard as you try to settle your rapidly beating heart. "I think I ate too much earlier. My stomach hurts."
"You look kind of pale, noona," Hyunjin chimes in. "Maybe we should head back to the hotel?"
You wave Hyunjin off quickly. "N-no, it's okay. I just need a moment."
"I'll go get you some water." Wonseok's voice softens with a gentle tone as he looks around for a shop.
Hyunjin places one hand on Wonseok's shoulder, stopping him from trying to look through the crowd. He pulls his bucket hat off with his other hand, gaining a clear view of the area. "We've been here a few times. I think I know where there's a shop nearby. I'll help you find it, hyung."
"Okay, thank you. Changbin, are you okay watching Y/n?" Wonseok asks the younger man.
Too focused on the unsettling feeling growing through your body, you don't notice that Changbin's already watching you. He's been silently keeping an eye on you since you started to fall behind on your walk. Had Wonseok waited a second longer to notice you, Changbin would have said something to bring their attention to you.
"I got her," He says simply.
With that, Hyunjin tosses something at Changbin and leads Wonseok forward through the crowd. Changbin quietly pulls you off to the side away from the crowd, under the shade of a tree. You mumble out what you hope is a 'thank you,' and focus on Changbin's shoes. They're white sneakers a blue stripe going through them. Subconsciously, you start to count the small holes near the end of the shoe while you place your hand on your chest. You feel your heart beating rather quickly like it's beating a little too hard and might give out at any moment. You apply as much pressure with your hand and take deep, unsteady breaths as you try to calm your heart.
You feel something cover your head, partly obstructing your vision and muffling the outside noise. You look back up at Changbin who is now adjusting Hyunjin's bucket hat that he put on your head.
"Professional idol secret," His words come slowly as he continues to fix the rim around the hat. "A lot of us don't do well in crowds so we wear bucket hats to block out the noise and the view a bit. Fans think we wear them to hide our hair for comebacks, but most of the time it's to protect our sanity."
You swallow dryly, unable to wet your suddenly parched throat. "I go to concerts and fan signs for a living. I do well in crowds."
Changbin crouches down so you can see him under the protection of the bucket hat, a tender smile warms his whole face. It's the first time you've seen him smile since the gallery. "In the past, yeah, but...you have the same expression on your face that you've been getting when we're at the airport lately. You kind of look like Hannie when he's having an anxiety attack."
"I don't have anxiety attacks," You're not sure if you're telling Changbin or reassuring yourself. You can't remember a single moment in your life where you've had an anxiety attack. So why would you start now?
"Okay," Changbin nods before standing up straight again, your view of him is once again obstructed by the hat. He gently takes your hand off of your chest and places it on his own. "At the very least, match my breathing. You sound like you just ran a marathon and I can't help you if you pass out. I don't know cpr."
The two of you stand there for a moment. Changbin's hand is firmly on yours as he keeps it on his chest. You have no choice but to match his breathing by following the steady rising and falling of his chest. You can feel the subtle, yet rapid thuds of his heart beating in his chest despite how calm he is.
Slowly, but surely, your own breathing falls into its own steady rhythm and the strange feeling in your body dissipates. You're not exactly sure how long the two of you stand like that, but eventually you drop your hand from his chest and Changbin let's you.
"Better?"
You slowly nod your head. Most of your discomfort is gone, but you still feel jittery. Almost as if you injected straight caffeine into your bloodstream. "Yeah, I just need to sit down."
Changbin doesn't ask further questions and instead leads you to the small grassy area near the tree and urges you to sit. He joins you on the grass, falling back into silence. Now that you're relatively back to normal, you can't help but avoid looking at Changbin. You're more thankful for the hat now that it can help you avoid his gaze.
The two of you sit there in silence for a few more minutes before Wonseok and Hyunjin find you. Hyunjin is about to question why you're wearing his hat before Changbin stands up and pulls Hyunjin to the side for a moment to talk to him.
Wonseok takes one of the empty spots beside you and rummages through the plastic bag he brought back with you. He pulls out a water bottle and a small metal tin and hands them to you. "I watched a TikTok ages ago and a doctor on there said that mint is supposed to be good for an upset stomach."
"Thank you," You smile tiredly at Wonseok.
Hyunjin and Changbin make their way back to you. Hyunjin takes the other open spot next to you while Changbin sits on the other side of him. They're quiet for a moment while you continue to drink your water and eat the mints that Wonseok bought. Wonseok passes out the other water bottles from his bag to Hyunjin and Changbin.
Surprisingly, Changbin breaks the silence first, asking if the store that Wonseok and Hyunjin went to was crowded. Then the conversation shifted to what everyone planned to do later. Wonseok tells them about your now tentative dinner plans, which leads to an argument. You change the subject to see what the newlywed couple of the group had planned. The conversation shifts again, this time to souvenirs that all of you want to get. Which of course leads to another teasing argument that ends with Wonseok trying to make you spill water on yourself.
"You two are such a cute couple. How long hav--"
You choke on your water as Hyunjin's words catch you off guard and trickle down the wrong pipe. Wonseok has his own visceral reaction, one that you don't see but you can hear the sound of him gagging at the question. Still, Wonseok slaps your back to help you get the water out.
"We--are not--dating." You choke out as you try to regain your composure.
"Y/n is like my little sister," Wonseok adds as he drops his hand back to his side.
Both Hyunjin and Changbin have confused expressions as they watch the two of you. Hyunjin opens and closes his mouth like a fish as he lets out confused babbles. "Sorry, I just thought...you two are...when..."
"Wonseok hyung is older than you but you two talk casually. Plus you're so close." Changbin says finally. Hyunjin shuts his mouth and nods quickly, agreeing with Changbin's reasoning.
"That's because Wonnie is a pathological liar--ouch!" You rub the spot on your leg where Wonseok hit you and glare at him. Although, you're not sure he saw your face through the hat.
"Stop telling people that I'm a pathological liar." You don't have to see to know that he's rolling his eyes. Wonseok shifts a bit and faces Hyunjin and Changbin. "I enlisted right after I graduated high school to get my military service over with. I ended up liking it so much that I stayed for two more years. When I finally enrolled in university, I was so much older than everyone in my classes that I just never mentioned how old I was. I met Y/n our senior year during our internship so I never said anything. She didn't know that I was older until we got our official IDs with our birth year on them."
"And he's so much older," You crack a smile.
"Stop that, I'm only 3 years older than you."
"Whatever," You wave him off as you turn back to the two younger men. "Besides, we're really like family. His parents treat us like siblings."
"Plus I have a girlfriend."
"And he has a girlfri..." Your voice falters in the middle of your sentence as you think about it for a moment. You turn to Wonseok and blink for a moment as you try to process what's happening. "You got a girlfriend? You actually got a woman to talk to you? Romantically? Who is it? Do I know her?"
His lips form a line so tight that the skin around them turns white while he tries to think. You flip part of the bucket hat up so you can see his have better. He's looking down at a blade of grass, contemplating something before he meets your eyes. "Frankie,"
"My Frankie?"
"Well, technically our Frankie but yeah." He sheepishly scratches the back of his neck.
"Oh," Your heart rapidly sinks to the bottom of your stomach.
You physically bite your tongue to prevent yourself from asking a million questions. Knowing that your best friends are dating behind your back hurts. Especially when there's an unspoken agreement against keeping secrets. So why did…
"I'm going to throw this all away and then we can explore a bit more." You get up quickly and take everyone's now empty water bottle.
If you stay where you are and continue to let your mind wander any further, you're going to either say something rude to Wonseok or burst into tears. You're happy that your friends found happy relationships. But they kept it from you and the idea of that doesn't feel good in your head or your heart.
"Noona--"
Wonseok puts his arm out, preventing Changbin from going after you. You're out of ear range as you walk quickly to the trashcan. Wonseok turns to both younger men and shares a small smile. "I get it but if you try to comfort Y/n when she's upset, it's going to become a bigger issue. Trust me, she hate when people see her upset or cry. Just let her have a moment and then she'll be okay."
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foreveia · 1 day ago
Text
take two ⤨ iwaizumi hajime
⨭ genre; fluff, idiots to lovers but like they're actually so dumb
⨭ pairing; iwaizumi x fem!reader
⨭ word count; 5.7k
⨭ descriptions; your boss has been trying to set you up with her son for months, but as it turns out at the holiday party... you've already met him before.
⨭ warnings; explicit language and dialogue, no graphic content tho, alcohol
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⨭ a/n; fun little short fic to fill the fix to publish something lolol enjoy this iwa love dump as i work on my next long fic (tell me in the comments if y'all like these better)
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one.
There are exactly three things you know to be true about Iwaizumi Emi:
She is the best divorce attorney in Tohoku, possibly the country.
She is the kind of woman who could negotiate her way out of murder charges and secure the victim’s house in the settlement.
She is, without a doubt, trying to set you up with her son.
You respect her. You admire her. You are, on occasion, lowkey terrified of her.
Which is why you’re currently sitting at your desk, nodding at all the appropriate intervals while she breezes through yet another pitch about why her son and you are, in her professional opinion, a perfect match.
“He’s back from Irvine for the summer,” she says, skimming a property settlement document like it personally offended her. She tosses it onto your pile nonchalantly, and you let out a short sigh because it’s just more backend filing to do and, despite your adoration for your career path and real passion towards legal work, entry jobs in the firm are mostly busy work. “I really think you’ll like him. He’s—”
You tune out. Not in an obvious way, of course—no, you’re a professional. You sprinkle in the occasional mmhmm and sounds great so she doesn’t catch on, but this isn’t your first rodeo. You’ve heard this pitch before—multiple times. Hajime is intelligent, responsible, not an idiot like some of these men out here, blah blah blah.
It’s not that you have anything against him, really. It’s just that you’ve spent months perfecting the art of dodging your boss’s matchmaking attempts, and frankly, you don’t have the energy to entertain her latest scheme.
“You’re finally going to meet him at the firm’s ball this weekend,” Emi continues, finally looking up from her paperwork, her smile entirely too satisfied.
You blink. “Oh.”
“He’s excited to meet you too.”
Now that is new. Usually, these monologues are strictly one-sided—I told him about you! and You two will get along so well! But he’s excited to meet you too? That’s an escalation. That’s a game-changer. That means he knows about you. He has an opinion about you.
You resist the urge to groan. Instead, you summon a polite, professional smile—the same one you use when dealing with particularly insufferable clients. “Looking forward to it,” you say, because what else are you supposed to say to the woman who could single-handedly end your career if she wanted to?
In reality, the only thing you’re looking forward to about the ball is the open bar. Being in your early twenties means being woefully broke, and you’d be lying if you said the thought of unlimited free alcohol wasn’t a strong motivator.
So, you strike a deal with yourself: you’ll put on a fancy dress, endure painful heels, and let Emi parade you in front of her son like a prize show poodle—all in exchange for an endless supply of pinot noir, cocktail shrimp, and, if you play your cards right, an entire bottle of champagne to sneak home in your purse.
It’s a sacrifice you’re willing to make.
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two.
Because you’re an adult with an absolutely thriving social life (read: you have two friends who are willing to tolerate your bullshit after 6 PM), you, Yachi, and Kiyoko are now seated at your favorite little izakaya, wedged into a corner booth with plates of karaage and a pitcher of beer between you. 
Kiyoko is talking about wedding venues. Because she’s engaged. To Tanaka. Which is objectively insane because in your head, they’re still in that “grossly obsessed with each other but pretending they’re just friends” phase, even though they’ve been together for years. The whole thing is a crime against single people everywhere, but you are supportive because your already jaw-dropping friend is somehow glowing even brighter now that she has a fat rock on her ring finger. She looks lighter, happier. She deserves it.
Yachi, meanwhile, is explaining—between delicate sips of her beer—that she’s too swamped with work to even think about dating. Which, yeah. Fair. The woman works harder than most people you know, so you respect it.
Then, as the conversation naturally shifts to your love life (as it always does, because you’re the group’s designated mess), you sigh, sinking into your seat dramatically.
“I haven’t had sex in months.”
There’s a beat of silence before Kiyoko and Yachi both roll their eyes in unison, like they rehearsed it.
“Oh my God,” Yachi mutters.
“You cannot still be caught up on GDD,” Kiyoko says flatly, pouring herself another drink.
“Okay, first of all,” you say, holding up a finger, “it is not about him. It’s just a general fact about my current state of being.”
“Uh-huh,” Kiyoko hums, entirely unconvinced.
“Second of all,” you continue, undeterred, “GDD was life-changing, and I feel like I should be allowed to mourn the lack of that level of—of excellence in my life.”
“Life-changing,” Yachi repeats, deadpan. “You hooked up with him once.”
“Yeah, and my life was changed.”
GDD—Good Dick Dude, as he has been dubbed by your dear, unsupportive friends—was a guy you hooked up with in January after a truly legendary New Year’s Eve party.
The night itself had been pure chaos. Hinata had somehow scored an invite to this insane rooftop party—one of those bougie, exclusive, if-you-know-you-know events where you absolutely do not belong but somehow manage to fake it enough to get through the door. He’d gotten a few plus-ones, which is how you ended up there, sipping champagne you definitely couldn’t afford and making out with a guy who, to this day, remains one of the most mind-blowing hookups of your entire life.
Gorgeous, buff, and dangerous with his hands. The kind of guy who knew exactly what he was doing, which, honestly? A rarity these days. You barely remember his name—something short, easy to moan—but you do remember his stupidly perfect smirk and the way he all but ruined you against the nearest flat surface.
But then the party ended, the night faded into a haze, and you never saw him again.
Which is fine. It’s fine. Really.
You’re definitely not still thinking about it.
Kiyoko takes a sip of her beer, unimpressed. “You’ve been on, what? Five Hinge dates since then? Six?”
“Seven,” Yachi corrects.
You point at her. “Exactly.”
Kiyoko gives you a long, slow blink.
“I mean that as proof that I am not hung up on him!” you clarify. “I’ve been trying, okay? But the bar is in hell. Do you know how many ‘we should get drinks’ texts I get from guys who put crypto investor in their bios?”
Kiyoko sighs. “Okay, but let’s be real—are you actually giving any of these guys a chance?”
You open your mouth. Close it. Frown. “I mean… like… conceptually?”
“Right.”
Yachi, forever gentle but devastatingly perceptive, tilts her head at you. “Is it possible,” she says carefully, “that maybe none of these guys are measuring up because you’re subconsciously comparing them to him?”
You scoff. “That’s ridiculous.”
Is it ridiculous?
Because, okay, maybe—just maybe—no one has quite lived up to that night. And maybe you’re being a little unfair to the dating pool by expecting every single guy to have that same kind of chemistry with you. And maybe you do occasionally find yourself staring at random ceilings, wondering where GDD is now and if he even remembers you.
But still. That doesn’t mean—
“I hate you guys,” you grumble, stabbing aggressively at a piece of karaage.
Yachi pats your hand sympathetically. “We know.”
Kiyoko, ever the queen of smooth topic transitions, nudges the conversation in a new direction. “Speaking of your questionable taste in men, your boss is still trying to set you up with her son, correct?”
You groan, letting your head fall back against the booth. “Unfortunately, yes. And now, apparently, he’s excited to meet me.”
Yachi perks up. “Wait, so you are meeting him?”
“At the firm’s ball this weekend,” you say, waving a hand. “It’s fine. I’ll get a little wine drunk, take advantage of the seafood bar.”
Kiyoko raises an eyebrow. “So, you’re not going to entertain the idea of this Hajime guy at all?”
You scoff. “Absolutely not.”
Yachi hums, tilting her head in that way she does when she’s about to say something devastatingly reasonable. “I mean… what if Emi’s right?”
You blink. “What?”
“What if this is it?” she says, half-teasing, half-genuinely curious. “Like, what if you meet him and he’s actually your soulmate? Imagine if this whole time, your boss has been playing the long game, orchestrating your love story like some kind of corporate fairy godmother.”
You snort. Loudly. “Right. Because that’s totally my luck.”
Kiyoko and Yachi exchange a knowing look, but they let it go.
You take another sip of your beer, shaking your head. Hajime Iwaizumi—whoever he is—is not the love of your life.
That would be insane.
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three.
You had to pull out your graduate school formal gown from the back of your closet for this, but wow, you really forgot just how good you look in red.
Your day-to-day work attire consists of pantsuits and button-ups, neatly tucked into cautiously ironed trousers, so you’ve honestly forgotten how nice it is to get dressed up once in a while. There’s something about slipping into a gown that fits like a dream, sweeping your hair up just right, and swiping on that perfect shade of lipstick that makes you feel invincible. Like you could negotiate a million-dollar deal, steal the firm’s best clients, and seduce someone’s husband all in the same breath.
Not that you would, obviously.
Probably.
The venue is ridiculous in the way all law firm events are ridiculous—held in a ballroom large enough to house a small country, chandeliers dripping in gold, servers weaving through the crowd with trays of champagne and fancy bruschetta topped with fucking caviar of all things. All this just to celebrate another year of making money off people’s divorces. Incredible the way capitalism works.
You’ve barely made it through your first glass of wine before Emi finds you.
“There she is,” she croons, linking her arm through yours. She looks positively radiant in an emerald gown, diamonds at her ears, and the kind of effortless elegance that comes from winning. You’d respect it more if she weren’t actively dragging you toward your inevitable doom. “Come on, sweetheart. Hajime’s here, and I cannot wait for you two to finally meet.”
You bite back a sigh, because of course. No warm-up period, no buffer—just straight to the matchmaking. “Can’t I get a few more drinks in me first?”
She waves a hand, utterly dismissing your complaints. “You’ll like him. I know you will.”
You doubt it. But you let her lead you anyway, mostly because you know resisting is pointless: your boss has the world’s most spell-blinding smile and enough charm to always get her way. Emi always wins.
She stops near the bar, where a man stands with his back to you, broad shoulders wrapped in a sharp black suit, one hand resting on the counter as he talks with someone just out of view.
Emi squeezes your hand. “Hajime,” she calls, her voice warm.
The man turns.
And every thought in your head immediately ceases to exist.
Because standing before you, looking unfairly good in a tailored suit and sipping from a glass of whiskey like he isn’t single-handedly ruining your life, is GDD.
Good Dick Dude.
Hajime Iwaizumi is Good Dick Dude.
Your brain short-circuits. This is not happening. This is some kind of fever dream, a cruel trick played by the universe to punish you for your sins.
Hajime’s sharp green eyes land on you, recognition flickering behind them, and then—oh no. 
He smirks. Like he knows exactly what’s running through your mind right now. Like he remembers everything.
Emi, completely unaware of your crisis, beams. “Hajime, this is the associate I’ve been telling you about.”
His mischievous, more than just amused smile widens. “Oh, I know who she is.”
Your soul leaves your body.
Because that voice? That voice is the same one that had whispered filth against your neck four months ago. The same voice that had laughed when you moaned his name. The same voice that had ruined you in ways you still haven’t fully recovered from.
You are going to die. Right here, right now, in the middle of this godforsaken gala.
“Hajime Iwaizumi,” he says smoothly, offering a hand. His palm is rough when you take it—calloused, strong, a stark reminder of exactly where those hands have been. His grip is firm, steady, and entirely too knowing.
You swallow, pasting on the best Oh wow, I am totally not spiraling internally smile you can manage. “Yeah,” you say weakly. “We’ve met.”
“Oh!” Emi beams, clasping her hands together like she’s just delighted by this new revelation. “That’s wonderful! I knew you two would get along.”
You let out a sound that’s somewhere between a laugh and a strangled choke. Hajime is still watching you, head tilted slightly, like he’s enjoying this: like he can see the exact moment you realize how deeply, horrifically screwed you are. Because there is no way Emi knows. She’s too composed, too pleased. If she had any inkling that her son and her associate had met four months ago in a completely inappropriate context, she’d have you both buried in litigation faster than you could say conflict of interest.
Which means Hajime is choosing to be a menace.
God, you’re going to kill him.
“Hajime just got back from Irvine a few days ago, for the start of his summer break,” Emi continues, completely oblivious to the absolute war waging behind your polite smile. “I’ve been telling him all about you, of course.”
You almost choke on your drink. “You have?”
“Of course I have!” Emi nods enthusiastically. “She’s one of the brightest associates we have, Hajime. Sharp, diligent, absolutely ruthless in negotiations—she reminds me of myself when I was her age.”
Your lips twitch. You do enjoy being compared to the most terrifying woman you’ve ever met, so it’s really too bad that this entire situation has you currently dying inside.
Hajime hums, eyes still locked on you. “Yeah,” he says, voice dipping just slightly. “She’s definitely memorable.”
Your entire body lights on fire.
Memorable.
Oh, he’s being insufferable on purpose.
Emi sighs happily, taking a sip of her champagne. “I knew you two would hit it off.”
You want to scream. You want to throw your drink in Hajime’s face. You want to rewind time and never step foot into that rooftop party.
Instead, you just smile tightly. “Mm-hmm.”
Hajime grins at your suffering. “So,” he says, tilting his glass in your direction, “how have you been?”
You resist the urge to kick him in the shins. “Busy,” you say, voice clipped. “Working.”
“Ah,” he says, nodding thoughtfully. “Yeah, that does sound like you.”
You stiffen. Hajime, you realize, is having the time of his life watching you squirm. And it’s only going to get worse.
Because Emi suddenly claps her hands together, eyes bright with mischief. “Oh! I should leave you two to chat,” she says. “Get to know each other properly.”
Oh. Oh no. Emi. Emi, please.
But before you can protest, she winks at you—winks, like she’s a fairy godmother orchestrating the perfect romance—and disappears back into the crowd.
And just like that, you are alone with him.
Hajime watches you over the rim of his glass, eyes gleaming with amusement. “So,” he says, smirking, “you haven’t forgotten me.”
Your jaw clenches. “You smug little—”
“You look good,” he interrupts smoothly, scanning you from head to toe. His gaze lingers, appreciative but blatantly teasing. “Red suits you.”
God, you want to strangle him. You cross your arms, willing yourself to stay calm. “You knew this whole time, didn’t you?”
He chuckles. “I had a feeling.”
“A feeling?”
He tilts his head, as if contemplating. “Well,” he says, “it wasn’t confirmed until I saw you.”
You glare. “You could’ve warned me.”
“And miss that reaction?” He grins. “Not a chance.”
You hate him. You hate that he looks so effortlessly good in a suit. You hate that his voice is still just as devastating as you remember. You hate that even now, months later, you can still feel the phantom weight of his hands on your hips, the rough scrape of his callouses against your skin, the way he had murmured just like that, baby against your ear—
You inhale sharply. Nope. Absolutely not. We are not thinking about that right now.
Hajime, unfortunately, definitely knows what you’re thinking about. His smirk is downright criminal. “So,” he says, leaning in slightly, voice low, “been a while, hasn’t it?”
You refuse to give him the satisfaction of blushing. “Oh, shut up.”
He laughs, warm and amused, and you are horribly aware that this night is only just beginning.
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four.
The universe clearly hates you, because Hajime happens to actually be a pretty intelligent and funny person, which is making it much, much harder to dodge his attempts at flirting and his mother’s attempts at forced-proximity matchmaking.
It was supposed to be easy. You were supposed to sip your wine, endure some polite small talk, and then fade into the crowd before Emi could corner you into any serious you’d make such a beautiful couple talk. But instead, you’re somehow still here, talking to him, because apparently Hajime Iwaizumi is annoyingly easy to talk to.
Which is not fair.
He makes it look effortless, like this isn’t completely unhinged, like it’s not absolutely deranged that your boss has spent months trying to set you up with a man who has already—
You take a sip of your wine. You are not going to finish that thought.
Hajime watches you over the rim of his whiskey glass, looking entirely too entertained by this whole situation. “You seem tense.”
“Gee, I wonder why.”
His mouth twitches, but he doesn’t argue. “Hey, could be worse,” he says. “At least my mom has good taste.”
You choke on your sip, feeling the bubbles tingle in your nose and really regretting every life decision you’ve made in the last six months. “Oh, my God.”
He laughs, tilting his glass in a mock toast.
You squint at him, wary and slightly annoyed, unable to fathom how he’s not also dying at this situation. “You’re enjoying this too much.”
“I mean…” He shrugs, all easy amusement. “I’m just saying—this could be a lot worse. Imagine if she was trying to set you up with someone actually terrible.”
“I don’t know,” you mutter, swirling your wine. “You’re already pretty high on my list of worst-case scenarios.”
“See, now that hurts.”
You roll your eyes. “You’ll live.”
Before Hajime can respond—before you can regain any sense of control over this conversation—Emi appears out of nowhere, her eyes shining.
“There you two are!” she says, absolutely beaming. “It’s time for the first dance!”
You freeze.
Hajime—the absolute traitor—just raises an eyebrow. “First dance?”
“Yes! It’s tradition,” Emi says, already ushering you toward the ballroom floor. “Senior partners and their dates open the dance floor—it’s been that way for years.”
You dig your heels into the floor. “But I’m not—”
“Now, sweetheart,” Emi interrupts, entirely ignoring your panic, “you wouldn’t want to break tradition, would you?”
You stare at her, betrayed.
She smiles.
Oh, she planned this.
Hajime, standing beside you, lets out a quiet, amused sigh before draining the last of his whiskey. “Well,” he says, offering you a hand, “guess we should give the people what they want.”
You glare at him. “I hate you.”
“Uh-huh,” he says. “That’s why you’re still holding my hand.”
You drop it immediately.
Unfortunately, that doesn’t stop him from leading you on to the dance floor. His hand slides around your waist, pulling you gently to the center of the ballroom; you’re struggling to ignore the far too many pairs of eyes on you two as he rearranges your arms around his neck.
And—oh, hell.
You forgot how solid he is.
His grip is firm but steady, his palm warm where it rests against your back. He moves easily, like this isn’t completely ridiculous, like your brain isn’t currently melting out of your ears.
“Relax,” Hajime murmurs.
You scowl. “I am relaxed.”
His lips twitch. “Yeah, totally.”
You hate him. You hate the way he’s looking at you—amused, interested, entirely too smug for someone who has already ruined your life once.
He leads you into a slow, easy step, and goddamn it, of course he’s good at this, too. His movements are effortless, confident. He keeps the rhythm perfectly, and you hate that you match him so well.
He tilts his head, watching you. “You’re thinking really hard about something.”
“No, I’m not.”
He raises an eyebrow. “Right. So you’re definitely not thinking about how good I am at this.”
You promptly step on his foot. He laughs, and it ignites your hatefire even more.
“Asshole,” you mutter.
“I was going to say you look good tonight,” he muses, unfazed. “But now I don’t know if you deserve the compliment.”
You glare at him. “Shut up.”
Hajime smirks. “Touchy.”
He spins you as the music hits a crescendo, dropping you abruptly into a dip that catches you heavily off-guard. It makes you lock your fingers tighter around his neck, and when he lifts you back up, you nearly slam right into his very, very firm chest (what the hell, is this man made entirely of protein?), face first.
“What the fuck?” you huff, a little winded. “You are actually a horrible human being.”
Hajime hums, tilting his head slightly, his eyes flickering with something too smug, too entertained. “You keep saying that,” he muses, voice low enough that it barely carries past the space between you, “but I think you just like having someone to complain about.”
Before you can deliver a scathing reply, he tugs you a fraction closer. It’s subtle, barely noticeable to anyone watching, but you feel it—the shift of his fingers pressing against the small of your back, the way your body slots against his just enough for warmth to pass between you.
Your breath catches, and it’s infuriating how he notices. How his hold tightens, like he can read every single thought running through your head and is thrilled by it.
“You’re such a dick,” you frown, shifting slightly, trying to put some space between you.
Hajime chuckles, and the sound is entirely too satisfied. His mouth is right by your ear, so you practically feel it more than you really hear it, when he murmurs, “And what are you gonna do about it?”
Your brain short-circuits.
Because that—that—is not fair.
That is the kind of thing a man should not be allowed to say in that voice, in that low, teasing rumble, into your ear, while holding you against him like this.
It happens before you can even think about it.
Before you can register that you are, in fact, in the middle of a ballroom at your company’s annual gala. Before you can process the reality that Emi is somewhere in this crowd, and she has already been insufferable about this whole ordeal.
Before any of that can hit you, you grab the lapels of his stupidly well-fitted suit, tilt your chin up, and kiss him.
It’s instant, sharp, devastating. Your hands tighten against his chest as you crash into him, and Hajime—because he is the worst person alive—immediately reacts.
One hand presses firm into your back, the other finding its way to your jaw, fingers curling just slightly as he deepens the kiss without hesitation. His lips are warm, just the right mix of soft and steady, and when he angles his head just so—his nose brushing against yours, his thumb skimming your cheek—you feel yourself sink, like he’s pulling you under and you don’t even mind drowning.
It should not be this good.
It should not set your pulse racing like this, make you forget for a single, damning second that this is the worst possible thing you could be doing right now.
But it does. And for just a moment, nothing else exists. Not the party. Not the music. Not the fact that literally everyone is watching you right now. Just the heat of his mouth, the firm press of his fingers at your back, the way he exhales sharply like he wasn’t expecting this either, but he’s not about to stop it, not for anything in the world. 
And then you remember where you are.
You rip yourself away, blinking rapidly, your brain racing to catch up with what you just did.
And that is the moment you hear it: the loudest, most delighted squeal of your entire existence.
Your stomach plummets.
Because standing at the edge of the ballroom, her hands clasped together in sheer glee, is none other than Emi Iwaizumi herself. And she is positively vibrating with joy.
“Oh, sweetheart,” she gushes, and the way she looks at you is the exact way someone would look at their child who just announced they were getting married. “I knew it! I knew you two would be perfect together!”
Your soul leaves your body. You stare at her, horrified. You slowly turn back to Hajime—who, because he is an absolute menace, is still standing entirely too close, still holding you just slightly like he isn’t ready to let go.
And he is smiling.
The kind of smile that says I win. The kind of smile that says he is absolutely going to remind you of this for the rest of your natural life.
You physically have to stop yourself from shoving him away.
Instead, you inhale, sharp and deep, and will yourself to stay calm. Emi is still talking. She is still gushing. And you cannot deal with whatever she’s about to say next, so before she can so much as breathe, you turn back to Hajime, seize his wrist, and drag him off the dance floor, because if you don’t get away from this immediately, you are actually going to die of secondhand embarrassment and shame.
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five.
This is because of your dry spell.
Your dry spell is the reason why your entire sense of self-control and awareness have gone out the window, and the reason why, now that you and Hajime have successfully escaped the ballroom onto the balcony, he is doubled over laughing and you are actually freaking out.
“Jesus fuck,” you groan, pressing your hands to your face. The cool night air does nothing to soothe the absolute catastrophe unfolding inside your brain. “I kissed you. I kissed you in front of everyone.”
Hajime straightens, still grinning like an asshole. “Yeah,” he says, entirely too pleased. “You did.”
You drop your hands, glaring. “Fuck you, dude. You’re not helping.”
He shrugs. “Wasn’t aware I needed to.”
You let out an incoherent noise of distress.
Hajime, because he is insufferable, just leans against the balcony railing, watching you unravel like it’s the best entertainment he’s had all night. His tie is slightly loosened now, his jacket unbuttoned, and somehow, he looks even better like this—a little rumpled, a little amused, looking at you like he already knows how this is going to end. 
That is actually unacceptable.
“This is your fault,” you snap, pointing an accusing finger at him. “You goaded me into it.”
Hajime raises an eyebrow. “Oh, so I made you kiss me?”
“Yes,” you declare, with full conviction, even though you definitely grabbed him first. “You set me up.”
He snorts, shaking his head. “You really can’t handle taking the L, huh?”
“I can handle it,” you insist. “I just don’t want to.”
His lips twitch like he’s trying very hard not to laugh again. “So you kissed me against your will?”
“Yes.”
Hajime tilts his head, amused. “Interesting. Because you seemed pretty into it.”
Your jaw drops. “I—you—shut up.”
He chuckles, and God, his voice is all warm and low and pleased with himself, and you really need to get it together before you do something stupid again.
You exhale sharply, crossing your arms and shifting your focus to the city skyline instead. Sendai stretches out before you in a sea of golden lights, a stark contrast to the absolute nightmare happening in your head. 
This is fine. You can recover from this. You just have to never, ever acknowledge it again.
You square your shoulders, turning back to him. “Okay. Here’s what’s going to happen. We are going to go back inside, pretend this never happened, and move on with our lives.”
Hajime hums, considering. “Yeah, I don’t think that’s gonna work.”
You squint. “What do you mean that’s not gonna work?”
He pushes off the railing, taking a step closer—too close, enough that you feel it again, that ridiculous, stupid warmth that shouldn’t still be there after all this time. “I mean,” he says, slow, deliberate, “you’re acting like that kiss was a mistake.”
You blink. “Because it was.”
He lifts a single eyebrow. “You sure about that?”
“Yes,” you say immediately, but it comes out way too defensive, and Hajime knows it.
He grins. You decide that you hate him.
“I’m sure,” you insist, crossing your arms tighter, like that will somehow make this whole situation less insufferable. “It was a heat-of-the-moment thing. A lapse in judgment. That’s it.”
Hajime tilts his head, thoughtful. “Okay. So if I kissed you again right now, you wouldn’t like it.”
Your entire brain short-circuits. The audacity. The unbelievable nerve.
You gape at him. “You wouldn’t.”
His grin widens. “Wouldn’t I?”
You hate how smug he looks. You hate that your stomach flips at the idea of it. You hate that you don’t immediately shut it down.
He watches your expression carefully, like he’s waiting for you to stop him, like he won’t actually do it unless you give him some kind of sign. Which is so much worse, because it means he’s giving you the chance to say no, to walk away, to end this before it can spiral any further.
But you don’t.
And that—more than the kiss itself, more than Emi’s squealing, more than the public spectacle you just made—is what finally sends you into full-blown panic mode.
You do want him to kiss you again.
You stare at him, pulse thrumming, brain caught in a violent tug-of-war between denial and desire. And Hajime? Hajime is watching you with the patience of someone who knows he’s already won.
“Say it,” he murmurs, voice low, steady.
You scowl. “Say what?”
“That you want me to kiss you again.”
Your jaw clenches. He’s baiting you, letting you choose, waiting for you to meet him halfway. You exhale sharply, tilting your chin up. “You’re so full of yourself.”
His mouth twitches. “Not an answer.”
“Fine,” you snap. “I want you to kiss me again.”
Hajime grins. “That’s all I needed.”
And then, he does.
This time, it’s slower, deeper, not rushed by the heat of the moment. He takes his time, like he’s savoring it, like he’s memorizing the way you melt into him. And you? You let him. Because, goddamn it, you were never winning this battle.
When you finally pull away, breathless, he smirks down at you. “See? Not a mistake.”
You groan. “I hate you.”
He laughs, pressing another quick kiss to your forehead that feels far more intimate than a casual pair of friends-with-benefits should. You, scandalized, shove him away, but Hajime just grins, like he knows exactly what he’s doing.
“You’re impossible,” you mutter, pressing your fingers to your forehead, like that will somehow stop the ridiculous heat crawling up your neck.
Hajime hums, smug. “And yet, you’re still standing here.”
You are still standing here. You could have left, could have walked back into that ballroom and pretended this entire thing never happened. But instead, you’re here. On this balcony. With him.
You shift, glancing at him out of the corner of your eye. “So… what now?”
Hajime leans back against the railing. “Dunno. Guess that depends on you.”
You narrow your eyes. “Why do I feel like you already have an answer?”
“Because I do,” he says plainly, in a way so nonchalant and effortless it could only be said like that by him. 
You exhale sharply, tilting your head up to the sky, like the stars might have some kind of solution for this. “You know this is gonna be a thing now, right?”
Hajime raises an eyebrow. “A thing?”
“Yeah,” you say, making a vague gesture between the two of you. “A thing. Emi’s gonna lose her mind. She’s probably already telling the senior partners that her matchmaking career is a success.”
Hajime laughs, the sound easy, effortless. “Yeah. She probably is.”
You sigh, dragging a hand down your face. “I am never going to live this down.”
“Probably not.”
You squint at him. “You could at least pretend to be sympathetic.”
Hajime shrugs, then reaches for your hand, tugging you forward so suddenly that you nearly stumble into him. His hands slide down to your waist, thumbs brushing over the fabric of your dress. “I could,” he murmurs, close, too close, “but we both know I wouldn’t mean it.”
You scowl. “You’re the worst.”
“And yet,” he says, smug, “you still kissed me. Twice, actually.”
You glare. “Stop counting.”
“No promises.”
You groan, pressing your forehead to his chest in sheer exasperation. “This is my villain origin story.”
Hajime just laughs, wrapping his arms fully around you, and you hate—hate—that it feels nice, that it feels right.
“Hajime,” you say, voice muffled against his suit jacket.
“Yeah?”
You lift your head just enough to meet his gaze. “If we’re doing this, you are legally required to make it up to me with at least two fancy dates. Minimum.”
Hajime smirks, like he was already planning on it. “Deal.”
“And no getting too smug about this, either,” you squint.
He tilts his head. “Define ‘too smug.’”
You groan, shoving at his chest. “God, I hate you.”
Hajime just catches your wrist and grins, pressing a slow, soft kiss to your knuckles. “Sure you do.”
You really don’t. And both of you know that very well, because he has his mother’s spell-blinding smile and you have always been a sucker for them both.
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⨭ closing; churned this out over one 3 hour writing sesh bc i got this idea in my head and had to see it through. not proofread and very very hastily written, but i like her anyway. #comment #reblog #lemme know ur thoughts mwah xoxo
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xxchumanixx · 17 hours ago
Note
May I please request a fic where the reader (who's a famous singer) falls in love with Tim but is reluctant to fully trust and be vulnerable with him due to bad experiences she's had with men in the past? The reader could eventually write and sing a song about her love for Tim which blows up and even wins awards like Grammys too which makes their relationship stronger and she opens up her heart more? 🥺
Be myself
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Tim Bradford x fem!reader
Warnings/Tags: fluff, a bit of angst, mentions of physical abuse / hitting (please look for help if you're in an abusive relationship! Being abused is not normal and it shouldn't be simply endured and viewed as it) Word count: 2.421 Authors note: I don't know if I used the gif before (probably did), but it just fits perfectly. I know you linked Whats love got to do with it by our legend Tina, but I kinda didn't vibe with it. I hope you'll still like it, though (if it was even meant for reference to the song the reader writes). I'm in no way a songwriter, so I'm not at all sure about that small part i wrote there. I know I posted a sneak peak for something different, but this gave me so much motivation to write so i put it first. Enjoy!
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He didn't know how he ended up with you of all people.
Not that he'd complain.
Never.
But a famous singer like you and a cop like him? It had to be fate that brought you together when him and his rookie had been called to deescalate a situation at a concert of yours.
He didn't expect to fall for you - hell, you probably didn't either. It just kinda happened after you gave him your number before him and his rookie left.
It had been meant more like a joke - yet he hadn't been able to get you out of his head and neither did you. So he texted you.
Three weeks later you went on your first date.
You had been cautious, bad experiences with previous boyfriends and dates branding you more than you'd have liked to admit.
And so you didn't.
The date went great, leading to another one shortly after.
Tim swore you were playing some magic trick on him. The speed in which he fell for you was shocking. In a few weeks you had him wrapped around your finger.
It didn't take long for him to admit his feelings to you, saying he'd understand if you weren't ready for anything yet, and as he rambled on, you'd cut him off with a kiss.
Because you were indeed ready.
At least that's what you thought.
Not that you didn't have feelings for him - you had, and they were strong. You just had trouble letting yourself be too open, too vulnerable.
To trust easily.
Though, right from the start, you knew he was different. He was interested in your career, yes, but in a way that didn't profit him or made him want to brag about his girlfriend being famous.
Or try and hit you if you didn't spend all your money on him. It had happened once, leaving a mark on your soul you had trouble getting rid of. Getting rid of the douchebag wasn't exactly easy, either.
But that was another thing.
No, Tim supported you, took days off to watch your concerts and be there for you. And maybe to have the time of his life with you in your wardrobe backstage.
For a while now, you had been working on a project - a new song that one day came to your mind when you thought about the past few months and your relationship with Tim.
It had almost been a year now, and you started to question whether your cautiousness was misplaced.
Not that you didn't trust him.
You trusted him more than you did any other man you'd been with, it just was like a habit of sorts. Some sort of protection your mind had put up in the beginning.
It wasn't easy to let that guard down.
It was one of the main parts you included in that song. How he made you want to be more open, to trust and give up that control you so desperately held onto.
To love without the constant fear of it all going downhill.
Your producer, Savannah, supported you all the way. You wrote your song, recorded it over and over again until you were a hundred percent convinced that it did Tim justice in a way.
Or rather his love for you. The way he never treated you differently even though you were famous.
Sure, there were times when his face would be plastered along magazine articles alongside yours - especially the beginning hadn't been easy.
Hiding a relationship wasn't easy and it certainly didn't work in this case, either. The first time it happened it had been on Instagram.
Someone had seen you and him together, taking a video and posting it for everyone to see. Once it reached a certain amount of views, it spread like wildfire, and everyone knew.
Tim wasn't very happy about it.
He understood that it was part of your life, but he didn't like it - and that included him - plastered all over the internet.
When you were shopping and hoarded by paparazzi or too many fans and he'd notice you were overwhelmed, he'd play the 'I'm a cop, please stand back' card, effectively getting you out of the situation.
Another thing you loved him for.
He didn't thrive on the constant attention, didn't suck it up like a sponge and used it to his advantage. Not like other men had tried to do before.
So why was it so hard to let go? Why was it so hard to trust, to let yourself be too vulnerable?
When you published the song, Tim had yet to hear it.
Yes, maybe you should have let him listen to it before publishing it, but you were too nervous. Too nervous he'd laugh at you, tell you that you were crazy for writing and publishing that song.
It would have also meant he'd question the origin - why you had such trust issues, had these problems of opening up.
You didn't want to be judged. After all, you still hadn't told him about it.
Only a few days later, you and Tim were driving in his truck home, when suddenly, the radio moderator announced your new song. Tim's gaze snapped to you - normally you'd show him your upcoming projects, talk to him about them.
He didn't know you'd just published a new song.
Your cheeks heated up as he stared at you in confusion before his gaze fixed back on the street. You knew he was listening, picking up on the lyrics.
Another thing you loved about him.
He didn't just hear the songs, he listened to them. Analyzing them, understanding them.
So it was no surprise he did understand this song, too. About a minute into the song he parked in his driveway, killing the engine but leaving the radio on.
You nibbled on your lip nervously, heart beating wildly as you tried to make out his reaction. You couldn't read his thoughts, so you had to rely on his body language.
And when he understood the song was about him, his gaze snapped to yours right as the second chorus hit.
You let me be myself, and I thank you for that.
You ban all the bad thoughts from my head.
No matter how hard I try, I can't find anything bad about you.
And I hope you see me like that, too.
You support me, give me strength,
It is wrong to hold you at arms length.
I love you and I hope you see,
that your're the best thing that's ever happened to me.
You swallowed, not interrupting him as he listened to the rest of the song. This certainly hadn't been how you'd planned this.
Sure, you wanted him to know about the song and all the things it expressed sooner or later, but when you published it, the thought of him hearing it that fast hadn't exactly crossed your mind.
When the song ended and the next came up, he immediately turned the radio off.
He stared at you, shocked, surprised.
In awe.
You bit your lip as his own parted, though nothing came out. His head tilted slightly, thinking.
"Is it true?" was the first thing he asked. "Or is it just... I don't know, a random love song?"
Your eyes widened slightly, and you shook your head. "No, it's not a random love song." you said. "It... It's about you, Tim."
He nodded slightly, still shocked. "What about the- the trust issues you talk about? Or sing, for that matter." he inquired further. "Or the 'keeping at arms length'?"
You swallowed, sighing quietly as you looked away. "It's all true, yes." you admitted quietly. "And I know I should have told you, and I know you're having a lot of questions right now, but... I'm sorry."
Tim leaned forward over the middle console and placed his finger under your chin to lift your head, his blue eyes meeting your Y/E/C ones. "Hey, you have nothing to apologize for." he said, shaking his head slightly. "Yes, it would be nice to know the details behind it, but I understand that you didn't tell me. Or show me the song beforehand, for that matter. It's great, by the way - just like everything else about you."
You blushed, suddenly feeling undeserving of him. He was way too caring and understanding.
"I mean, I assumed some things..." he continued, tilting his head from side to side for a moment. "But I never pushed you to tell me. And I won't now. Neither did you on the subject of Isabel. If you want to tell me, I'm happy to listen, but you don't have to. Just know that I feel incredibly honored and love you."
Tears burned in your eyes, and suddenly, you knew you could trust him with everything. No more keeping him at arms length.
"I love you, too." you breathed out, smiling through the tears. "I just- I don't know." you shook your head in sudden embarrassment. "Ever since I got famous all the men seemed to want the same thing. Fame, my face as their way into Hollywood. To brag about their girlfriend being famous and make themselves look more important. Or try and hit me for not spoiling them like the ungrateful bitch I am." you grimaced, and his eyes widened before they narrowed. "I know you aren't like that, I do. I just couldn't shake this... habit of closing myself off and trying to avoid another one of these situations. I'm sorry, Tim. I know you are better than them. That song is about you and it is supposed to express how I feel about you."
Tim smiled, cupping your face with his hands. "You're so much more than your career, Y/N." he told you, wiping the tears away with his thumbs. "You're a caring, beautiful and brilliant woman. You're far more than I deserve yet I'm too selfish to ever let you go. I love you more than you can imagine, and I want you to know that I'd never try to get any fame or benefits or whatever from you or your career. Let alone lay a hand on you. I love you too much to risk us - not that I'd need your fame or money. I'm a cop and I love being a cop. My girlfriend just happens to be an amazing singer."
You laughed quietly, blushing more. His words spread a warmth through you like no one else ever did. "You're flattering me." you mumbled sheepishly. He cocked a brow. "I'm not." he said. "You are an amazing singer. You're amazing in general, all over."
You laughed once more, a smile on your lips. "You're way too good for me, Tim Bradford." you said. "I'm the one not deserving you."
He huffed, tilting his head from side to side again. "Debatable." he said. He leaned closer, capturing your lips in a sweet and gentle kiss. "Come on, let's head inside." he mumbled against them. "I want to celebrate this song."
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It had been about two weeks until your song seemed to have gained massive popularity, and when the letter landed in the mail weeks later, you screamed.
Tim had rushed into the kitchen, gun drawn as he tried to find out what happened. When he saw you with the letter in hand, pressing a hand to your mouth, he lowered the gun, stepping beside you.
One look at the letter and his lips parted.
You looked up in your excitement, almost headbutting him where he was looking over your shoulder. "Tim-" you breathed out, cutting yourself off with another squeal. He grimaced at the high sound, though laughing as he moved to hug you from behind.
"Baby, that's amazing." he breathed out. "I'm so proud of you." You bit your cheek, heart pounding wildly. "I- I mean, I haven't won anything yet." you said, fingers trembling as they held the letter. "But..." "But you're nominated." Tim finished for you. "That's more than most can wish for. This is amazing, Y/N. God, I'm so proud of you."
You smiled widely, clutching the letter to your chest. You giggled and jumped up and down in his arms, pressing a hand to your lips. Tim laughed quietly, holding tighter onto you, his nose brushing the shell of your ear. In the last few weeks you'd grown even closer, and it all felt more right than ever.
"Told you you're amazing."
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Nervous wasn't word enough to describe your current state.
The Grammys.
The fucking Grammys.
Never would you have thought this would happen. Who would have thought you'd make it this far?
Fidgeting with your small clutch nervously, you took a deep, trembling breath. Tim grabbed your hand, intertwining your fingers and giving them a reassuring squeeze. You'll be okay.
The wait had been torture.
Waiting for the day to come, waiting for the announcements. It was like a dream come true, yet the wait left you on edge.
You'd been nominated for single of the year. Your song about Tim Be Myself had literally exploded, landing you a spot at the Grammys.
You inhaled shakily as the nominees were announced before the moderator opened an envelope. She drew it out, making the anticipation rise higher and higher until your heart suddenly slammed to a stop.
"Best single of the year goes to... Be Myself!" Your lips parted, not believing what just happened. Tim cheered, the crowd applauded, and you got up on shaky legs.
You couldn't believe it.
This was more than you could have ever wished for, and as Tim pressed a kiss to your cheek, giving you the biggest, most proudest smile you'd ever seen on him before he ushered you to the stage, you knew it.
You knew he was the one.
He was the one that treated you right. The one that loved you unconditionally.
And you'd be forever grateful for that.
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Tag List
@laheysfilm @newobsessionweekly @augustvandyne @RookieTrek @dhundhchrih @nachofriess @dtftheavengers @wonderland2425 @skywalker0809 @freyathehuntress @caplanbuckybarnes @sacredwarrior88
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stephstars08 · 2 days ago
Text
You Love Me?
Jason Todd x Vigilante!Reader
Warnings: Adult Language, Dark Themes, Mention of Death, Reader get’s Shot, Weapons, Violence, Angst, Fluff, and Possibly Grammar Errors. (Sorry if I forgot any!)
Summary: After Y/N literally takes a bullet for Jason she finds out a big secret he’s been keeping from her thanks to Dick.
Word Count: 1,583
Author’s Note: This is actually my first story of 2025😬! Last month I just didn’t have any motivation to write. Also sorry if this is sloppy and sorry for postponing the release date! I’ve been having pain in my back and neck! Anyways, hope you all enjoy this short story!
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Y/N was in her vigilante suit on a mission with Jason. Y/N is very close with Jason so most of the missions she goes on, he’s always right there by her side. Y/N’s vigilante name is Shadow. She picked that name since the suit she wears makes her look like a shadow. Her suit is all dark gray and the mask she wears covers her whole face.
Y/N’s father was a police officer and he got killed in the line of duty by Scarecrow during one of his tirades. That event is what motivated her to become a vigilante. She never wants a kid to go through with that she went through. At first she was just doing it to protect her mother and little sister but as time went on she wanted to protect her whole city. She was seventeen when she started fighting crime and has now been doing it for three years now. She recently became a part of the Bat team.
Her and Jason were at the docks fighting some gang members. There was three of them so from time to time Y/N or Jason would be fighting two people at the same time. Y/N finally took the guy she was fighting down. She was finally able to catch her breath. Jason was still fighting his guy.
Y/N’s eyes went wide when she noticed the third guy pull out a gun and aim it at Jason’s back. “Shit!” Y/N hissed with worry. Right when the guy pulled the trigger. Y/N jumped in front of Jason. Y/N felt the bullet go through her side.
When Y/N screamed out in pain everyone stopped. Jason’s eyes went wide under his red helmet when he turned around and saw Y/N laying down on the cold ground. “Fuck!” Jason said with panic in his voice as he kneeled down next to Y/N.
“Let’s go boys!” The guy who pulled the trigger said to other two guys. Jason didn’t care that the gang members were getting away. All he cared about was Y/N.
Before Jason could ask where the bullet hit her he saw the blood coming out from her left side. “J-j-Jason” Y/N stuttered in pain. “Shh don’t speak.” Jason told her taking off his jacket and putting it down on her wound to ease the bleeding. Jason used the device in his helmet to call Bruce.
“Jason. What’s going on?” He heard Bruce said. Bruce already knew something was wrong since that’s the only time Jason ever calls him. “Its Y/N. She got shot.” Jason told him. “Shit!” He heard Bruce hiss out. “Where did the bullet get her?” Bruce asked him. “Her left side.” Jason answered. “I’m tracking your location now. I’ll be there as fast as I can.” He heard Bruce tell him. “Just keep her stable.” Bruce told him in a stern tone and ended the call.
Jason decided to take her mask off since he can hear her struggling to catch her breath. His heart ached seeing the painful look in her eyes. He pressed both hands down onto his jacket. “Just stay with me Y/N. Help is on the way.” Jason told her. Y/N gave him a nod which made her groan out in pain. “Don’t move. Just keep your eyes open.” Jason told her with worry in his voice.
He was trying everything he can do to stay calm. Y/N used all of the strength and energy she has to keep her eyes open. She felt like she was paralyzed everywhere but where her wound is.
••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••
When Bruce got there him and Jason carefully helped Y/N into the Batmobile. Jason followed the Batmobile to the Batcave on his motorcycle. When they got to the Batcave Bruce and Alfred immediately took Y/N to the medical room. Alfred has patched up everyone so he knew exactly what he was doing. He’s taken bullets out of Bruce many times.
Jason was in the main room with Dick and Barbara. Jason couldn’t stop pacing back and forth. “Jason, you need to sit down. You pacing like that isn’t helping your nerves.” Barbara told him. “What if she doesn’t make it!” Jason said as he stopped pacing so he was looking straight at Barbara and Dick. “Jason, she’s going to make it.” Dick told him. “She’s in good hands, Jason.” Barbara said adding on to what Dick was saying.
“If I was fucking paying attention this wouldn’t of happened!” Jason said with a mixture of frustration and anger in his tone. “Woah, Jason!” Dick started. “There is no way in hell that this is your fault.” Duck told him in a stern tone. “Bullshit!” Jason hissed. “She took that bullet for me!” Jason said as his anger grew.
Bruce walked into the room. He was still in his Batman suit he just didn’t have his mask on. “How is Y/N?” Jason asked with worry as he quickly walked up to Bruce. “She’s going to be okay.” Bruce answered which made everyone in the room feel relief. “So relieved to hear you say that.” Barbara said with nothing but relief in her voice.
Y/N is Barbara’s best friend and Barbara doesn’t know what she would do without her.
“Luckily the bullet didn’t go through her.” Bruce told them. “Alfred got the bullet out of her side and is stitching her up.” Bruce added.
“Can I see her?” Jason asked with a pleading look in his blue eyes. Bruce answered his question with a nod. “Follow me.” Bruce told him. Jason followed Bruce back into the medical room.
••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••
After Y/N woke up Bruce had Alfred take her upstairs to Wayne Manor. Since she needs a lot of rest for some weeks he’s letting her stay in one of the guest rooms.
A couple of days have passed and Y/N was still bedridden. Dick and Barbara just showed up to visit Y/N and see how she was doing. When they walked into the room they did notice that Y/N was starting to get some color back into her face. “How are you feeling?” Barbara asked her standing by the bedside with Dick right next to her. “A little better than yesterday.” Y/N answered.
“If I didn’t have those pain killers I would be so fucked.” Y/N added which made Barbara and Dick let out a little laugh. “Its good to know that your sense of humor is still in tact.” Dick told her. “Don’t worry. They didn’t shoot out my sense of humor.” Y/N told him with a small smile.
“I’m surprised Jason isn’t here.” Barbara said. Jason has been by Y/N’s side almost every hour of the day. It would take Y/N forever to get him to leave so he could get some rest of his own. “You guys actually just missed him.” Y/N told them. “We did?” Dick said with one of his eyebrows raised. “I made the dumb mistake of telling him I was craving truffles from that fancy chocolate shop.” Y/N said with a sigh. “But that shop is across town.” Barbara said. “That’s what I told him but he didn’t care.” Y/N told her. “Damn, he’s crazy.” Barbra said as she shook her head. Y/N couldn’t help but giggle.
“Hey cut the man some slack. A guy does anything when he’s in love.” Dick said which made Y/N freeze. Barbara looked over at Dick with wide eyes. “What?” Dick asked in confusion. “You just told Y/N that Jason is in love with her.” Barbara told him which made his heart sink. “Oh, um, yeah my bad.” Dick said with a nervous sigh. “He’s in love with me?” Y/N asked Dick in a surprised tone in her voice. “Yeah he um told me a few months back.” Dick answered knowing he can’t take back what he said. “Oh my gosh.” Y/N said as she felt nothing but shock.
“Jason is so going to kill you.” Barbara told him. “Yeah yeah I fucking know!” Dick hissed as he ran one of his hands through his raven colored hair.
••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••
After Barbara and Dick left Y/N couldn’t stop thinking about what she just found out. Jason doesn’t just love her no, he’s in love with her. Y/N snapped out of her racing thoughts when Jason walked in holding a white paper bag.
“I’m back.” Jason said walking over to her bedside. “Your truffles.” Jason said handing her the white bag. “Oh um thanks.” Y/N said taking the paper bag.
Jason could immediately sense that something was wrong. “Everything alright?” Jason asked with concern in his voice. Y/N set the bag down on the table next to the bed.
“Are you in love with me?” Y/N asked taking Jason by surprise. “Who um told you that?” Jason asked her. “Dick might’ve let it slip out.” Y/N told him fiddling with her fingers. “That stupid fuck!” Jason snapped as he a ran a hand down his face.
Y/N grabbed one of his hands before he could get too worked up. “Jason.” Y/N said in a soft voice as she looked up at him. “Yes, I’m in love with you.” Jason confessed to her. Y/N lips turned up into a smile. She pulled him down and connected her lips with his’s. Jason immediately kissed back since he’s been waiting for this moment for a very long time.
They continued to kiss till they needed to pull away to catch their breath.
“I’m in love with you, too.” Y/N told him with a big smile on her face.
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