#her and devi bickering pleases me

[keldae]

Cute, shippy starters: 46) “Hey, have you seen the..? *Oh.*”

Devi loved cats, for the most part. Having grown up in the Lower City, stray cats had been all over the place; and most of them, after some obligatory introductory hissing, seemed to tolerate the little half-Elf thief well enough. Some had even learned that, if they were friendly enough, Devi might share her food scraps with them while she waited for her next mark. It hadn't been uncommon for Devi to have a cat curled up beside her while she had sat on a roof ledge, or prowling around her legs while she'd scoped out a new target. Her father would never have let her keep one for a pet, but she enjoyed giving scritches and pets where she could to the stray animals. 

And then there was Tara.

Devi supposed her first mistake had been referring to Tara as “Gale's tressym” – she'd immediately gotten hissed at for that. She hadn't made the same mistake again, but Tara seemed to not ever forget a grudge. Even after Devi had come home with Gale to Waterdeep, Tara had regarded the thief with aloof suspicion. She was incredibly different from the normal cats Devi had grown used to, and even with regular usage of a potion to let her speak with animals, the two regularly butted heads.

She knew it caused Gale distress, that the woman he loved and the tressym he adored seemed to be permanently at odds. “Was she like this with Mystra too?” she had asked one day, watching Tara fly in pursuit of a hapless pigeon.

Gale had snorted. “Given how Mystra and I ended, and the sixth sense that animals have about such things, I like to think Tara would have tried to claw her eyes out if they'd ever met.” He'd smiled and given Devi a kiss on the temple. “I'm sure she'll warm up to you eventually. She's just… cautious with new people.”

That had been well over a tenday ago, and Devi still wasn't sure how long ‘eventually’ was supposed to last. 

She sat in her favourite chair in Gale's tower, idly plucking at the strings on her violin. Gale himself was out today – he'd been summoned to some sort of meeting with another wizard, and the tone of the invitation had made it clear that Devi wasn't invited. Honestly, Gale had been more offended at the entire matter than she'd been. She'd sent him on his way with a kiss and a promise that she wouldn't find any mischief in his absence. And so far, she'd been good to her word, reading one of his many books and coming up with a new melody to play on the violin.

She sighed, looking out the window for a moment, then winced as her stomach lurched threateningly. Apparently whatever stomach flu she had somehow picked up (that Gale had dodged. Lucky bastard of a wizard.) was still not fully out of her system. And that had been the other reason Gale had been reluctant to go to this meeting with his colleague – he was worried about her, after the last four days of her waking up sick and struggling to keep anything she ate down.

Maybe it was the coffee he had introduced her to. Devi wrinkled her nose in thought. That was something she had never been introduced to as a poor Baldurian thief – perhaps the rich, stimulant brew was the cause of her–

Her eyes went wide, and she barely had time to set her violin on the table and grab an empty pail before her stomach violently rejected the two pieces of toasted bread and the banana she'd eaten less than an hour ago.

Wincing as her stomach eventually stopped revolting, she spat into the bucket, then shakily stood up, intent on finding water to rinse her mouth out before disposing of the vomited meal. “Fucking hells,” she mumbled, scowling down at her stomach. “Are you done yet?”

“Tsk, tsk,” said a voice behind Devi, one that made her jump. “Mr. Dekarios will not be pleased to learn that you're still ill.” With a flutter of her wings, Tara jumped up onto the table, regarding Devi with a stern look. “Had I thumbs, I would make you drink some tea.”

“Gale's been trying with the tea,” Devi said, finding a carafe of water in the kitchen and swishing a mouthful around to get the taste of bile out of her mouth. She spat into the bucket, still feeling Tara's eyes on her. “I think it helps a little bit?”

Tara lowly growled, then jumped to the counter. “Here,” she said, standing up on her hind legs to paw at a rack of herbs. “Mr. Dekarios keeps ginger up in this rack, and that should help with human – or half-Elf – nausea.”

“... Thank you.” Devi approached the counter, reaching around the fluffy head and wings to grab the large ginger root. Finding where Gale kept his kitchen knives, she carefully cut off a thin slice of the ginger, then put it in her mouth, wrinkling her nose at the strong taste. “Please work,” she mumbled as she put the rest of the root away, then moved to clean off the knife. She knew how particular Gale was with his knives.

Tara sat on the counter, tail swishing as she watched the thief clean and return the knife to its block. “I know you haven't been sleeping either,” the tressym said, “what with constantly waking up sick the last few nights. Go lie down.”

Devi frowned at the idea of taking orders from the winged cat. “I'm honestly all right,” she started to say. “I don't feel–”

She blinked as a paw batted at her arm. “You clearly are not all right,” Tara scolded. “And I'll not have Mr. Dekarios fretting over if you're getting enough rest while you’re so obviously ill. He's made it quite clear that he cares a great deal about you.” The tressym shifted her weight, then jumped onto Devi’s shoulders, making her stagger with a little grunt at the weight of a heavy winged cat perching on her. “To bed with you, Deviali.”

“It’s Devi,” the thief muttered. “What about if I just sit and read or–”

Tara growled threateningly.

Devi sighed, admitting defeat. “Fine, I’m going.” She wouldn’t ever admit it to Tara, but she was tired, after four mornings of waking up sick before the time that she and Gale normally got up. And it was impossible to quietly vomit, as she’d figured out the hard way – Gale was always at her side within a minute of her lunging out of bed, holding her hair back and looking at her with open concern in his eyes. “What do you care about me?” the half-Elf asked the tressym as she started making her way to the bedroom, with a longing glance at her violin. “You don’t seem to like me as it is.”

Seemingly noticing which way Devi’s eyes went, Tara lightly smacked the side of her face with her paw to make her focus on going to bed. “My opinions are moot. Mr. Dekarios adores you, which means that it becomes my duty to look after you like I do him. I’ve looked after that wizard since he was a boy – I’m not about to fly off because he picked you.” She settled across the back of Devi’s neck, like an oversized, winged scarf. “And if I don’t look after you, then it becomes the dog’s job to tend to you, and he is not a suitable caretaker.”

“Scratch is perfectly fine,” Devi protested, obligated to defend what she had come to think of as ‘her’ dog since the day he’d shown up in camp. “And he doesn’t try to nursemaid me or anything–”

“My point exactly. You’re obviously ill, and dogs, while loyal, do not understand taking care of two-legged creatures with no self-preservation instincts.” 

“... I have perfectly fine self-preservation instincts,” Devi grumbled as she entered the bedroom and sat down on her side of the bed.

“That’s not the impression I got from hearing Mr. Dekarios’ stories about you during your little adventure,” Tara disagreed. She hopped down from Devi’s shoulders, then settled on the thief’s lap, giving her a pointed look. “If I have to make you lie down…”

Devi thought about arguing with the cat, then saw Tara warningly flex her front paws, revealing sharp claws under her fur, and thought better of it. “I can’t believe I just lost an argument with you,” she complained, laying down and curling up on her side.

Tara’s tail twitched in an almost smug manner. “Please feel free to ask Mr. Dekarios why he doesn’t pick fights with me anymore.” She climbed up onto Devi’s hip and started kneading the half-Elf through her trousers. “Ugh, you’re far too thin still. Is Mr. Dekarios not feeding you sufficiently?”

“If Gale could feed me himself, he would,” Devi muttered. “It’s hard to eat when everything he makes, no matter how good, keeps coming back up.”

“If you wake up sick again tomorrow,” Tara mused, “I’m going to have to tell him to fetch a cleric or visit an apothecary. Then again, perhaps he’ll bring something home tonight for you to feel better.” She jumped down to the mattress and, to Devi’s surprise, curled up against the thief’s stomach. “You are not to move from this bed until Mr. Dekarios returns home this evening, and you do not want to know what the consequences will be if you disobey me. Are we understood?”

“I’m being bullied into taking a nap by a tressym,” Devi groused, and promptly got batted by one of Tara’s wings. “Ow!”

“Somebody has to ensure that you rest and recover, if you’re not going to look after yourself.” Tara’s vivid eyes met Devi’s without blinking. “Now, I will allow you to offer scratches to my ears, just this once. Do not get used to it.”

Devi eyed the tressym for a moment, then slowly reached to slowly pet the top of Tara’s head, rubbing behind her ears. She was quickly rewarded with the low rumble of a pleased purr, vibrating against her stomach. Despite the half-Elf’s reluctance to take a nap, the feeling of curling up in bed with a large cat – or tressym – snuggled up against her upset stomach did feel very soothing. She sighed, then let her eyes drift closed, and felt Tara’s purring grow a little louder, as though the tressym approved. “You’re still the worst,” she muttered.

“Likewise, Deviali,” Tara smugly said, her purring never stopping. “Go to sleep.”

“It’s Devi,” the thief grumbled, even if part of her knew that the tressym would always use her despised full name, until the day Devi married Gale and took his last name for her own. Then it would probably become “Mrs. Dekarios”.

That actually has a nice ring to it, she thought as she felt herself slowly drift away into sleep, lulled by the sounds of Tara's purring.

—

Gale frowned slightly as he entered his tower, expecting to be greeted on his return home. The only lifeform to welcome him was Scratch, curled up by the fireplace; the dog looked up and thumped his tail against the floor, tongue lolling out of his mouth happily. “Where’s Devi, hmm?” the wizard asked, kneeling to give the dog a scratch behind the ears.

Scratch wuffed, then set his head back down on his front paws. “Upstairs,” he said – Gale, once again, was grateful for the spell that let him speak with animals. “She’s been upstairs with Tara all day.”

That got a small wince from Gale – he almost wondered if there had been bloodshed in his home during his absence. “Good boy, Scratch,” he said, standing back up and making his way through the tower. It was suspiciously quiet in his residence: no Tara trotting or flying up to see him with a meow of greeting, no sounds of Devi playing her violin, no pretty half-Elf emerging from a doorway with a smile on her face to see her betrothed. He sighed, wondering if Devi and Tara had managed to kill each other while he’d been stuck all day with his wizarding colleagues. “Devi?” he lowly called out. “Tara?”

No sign of Tara anywhere – perhaps she was out hunting pigeons again. But Devi should have been here. Gale poked his head into the common room, then into his study – no sign of his favourite thief in either room, besides the violin resting on a table beside the window. Perhaps the bedroom, then? Gods knew that she hadn’t been resting well, with waking up sick every morning the past few days. He could only pray that the potions in his satchel, purchased from the apothecary only an hour ago, would cure whatever was wrong with her. He approached the bedroom door, only slightly ajar, and gently pushed it open. “Have you seen –” he started to say as he looked in – a second later, he went silent, his eyes softening. “Oh.”

On the bed, Tara looked up from where she was curled against a sleeping Devi, the tip of her tail swishing before her nose. “Not a word from you about this compromising position,” she quietly said, ears tilting back slightly. “It was the only way to make sure she rested. She was ill again this afternoon while you were gone.”

“Again?” Gale frowned worriedly as he sat on the edge of the bed; Tara stood up and stretched, then climbed up onto his shoulders, curling up around his neck and purring away. “Thank you for looking after her, Tara – I know you disapprove of her, but I love her.”

“I know you do. And it is good to see you happy with her, Mr. Dekarios.” Tara carefully adjusted her wings so she wouldn’t hit Gale in the back of the head with the large appendages. “She’s slept the last two hours after being ill again. You did stop at an apothecary for something to cure her, yes?”

“I did – and I’ve been assured that the potions I bought should fix anything.” The wizard carefully leaned down to Devi’s face, pressing gentle kisses over her forehead, her eyes, her cheek. “Hello, my love,” he murmured as Devi started to stir. “Did you sleep well?”

Devi’s eyes slowly opened as she looked up at Gale; her lips pulled up in a smile once she recognized him. “Hey, you,” she quietly said, reaching up to kiss him. “Welcome home.”

Gale smiled fondly as he returned Devi’s kiss, stroking his hand through her long hair. “And it feels the most like home when you’re here to grace it with your presence,” he softly chuckled. “Are you feeling better? Tara mentioned you were ill again.”

“Traitor,” Devi muttered, frowning up at the smug tressym, before slowly sitting up. “I… think I’m all right? At least for–” She froze, eyes widening as her hand settled on her stomach. “... Shit.”

Instinct had Gale stand up and get the hell out of Devi’s way, a second before she was on her feet and fleeing to the water closet. He frowned, worry becoming full-fledged anxiety as he started fishing around in his satchel for a potion. “Tara, can you stay with her for another minute while I get her some water?”

Tara was off his shoulders and flying after Devi almost before he’d finished speaking. “Do hurry, Mr. Dekarios,” she called back. “I am not an expert on half-Elves, but something is certainly wrong.”

[catty-words]

kinda related to ben being racist thingy, i saw some people accusing him of having a brown girl fetish which tbh the canon material doesnt give that reading to me, specially after margot, it feels more like he has a "hot chick putting me in my place through bickering" fetish. which begs even more strongly the years old question of how the whole ben-shira thing started....... which insult made him get the hots for her bruh

excuse me while i shove my face in a pillow and SCREAM because i want to talk about 'a lie away' so badly but i should just focus on writing it instead!!!!! FUCK.

anyway. definitely agree we're not plausibly in fetishism territory because two out of four love interests is kind of a small percentage all things considered and his attraction to aneesa and devi is never written as having to do specifically with them being women of color.

in terms of his relationship with shira, it feels most natural, in my opinion, for them getting together to have sprouted out of his eagerness to please/appear more popular. (x)

[ot-hoe-me]

About Sophie's 10 Wishes - understandable, the thing that was kept secret shouldn't have been a secret for that long. I don't agree with how that was handled at all.

Seduced By The Rhythm I thought was okay, the competition parts were fun but the sister relationship system in book 3 was a bit annoying to me and overall I felt pretty ambivalent about the LIs as datable characters and enjoyed them more as teammates and friends. Orlando made me want to smack him though lol.

And Ough. Amrit. Yes. Normally I love the soulmate trope, and I do really like Amrit as a character, but on a personal level he annoys me so much. Like the arrogance is *somewhat* justified and the distrust is *definitely* justified, him continuing to call Amala wife or fiancée (yes I know he continued to call her that to purposely annoy/antagonize her and it sure did work on me!!) or whatever after he's been rejected drove me nuts lmao like give it a rest. You know you're hot shit and have the pick of literally anyone else, so get over it already. You were intrigued over an idea and not Amala herself (Obviously this grows into real love for who she is on his route but I digress. Also, I understand that her not falling to her feet to please him is part of her appeal to him too though.) I'm also not a fan of the bickering/fiery couple trope either.

So yeah, it's Ratan for me I love the immortal x mortal, immortal falls in love for the first time, and immortal gives up eternal life to be with their mortal beloved tropes a whole lot. Plus he's always respectful, and actually accepts her friendship with Killian and Lima. Plus his epilogue with Amala on the Rage of the Goddess path is so cute. 🥰❤️✨ And of course all their other romance moments are A+ for me.

We both know why we love Liam and Selena and why~

I do also love Shadows of Saintfour, pretty much the only piece of horror media I wholeheartedly enjoy. I do like Aaron and did a playthrough with him, Luke and Derek make the most narrative sense and I do like them so I liked their routes, though my favourite was actually John/William. I didn't like that we could only save Luke if we were dating or broke up at the very last second and not also if you only took all the friend options. I wish Stephanie got more character development so I could like her more. I love the friend group and, predictably, Michael annoyed me.

I'm actually replaying Sins of London right now - first time I picked Sherlock, and this time I'm romancing Glashtyn. I love Abigail, she's adorable and. Gray annoys me. (Are you sensing a pattern yet? Lmao)

I LOVE Love From Outer Space, and of course I love Amber with Ray the best, though I do like her with the others except for Ursula. Because I absolutely ship Ursula with that redhead, can't remember her name right now. They'd be so cute as a couple. But yeah, I also love that entire friend group.

Of course, I also love Flame of Samsara so far, and right now I'm shipping Devi with Ram, my second playthrough will be with Ian. Also, I didn't think Kairas would die this soon in the book, I thought he'd make it to the last or second last chapter of book one. Apparently not though.

Garden of Eden I really like so far, the author also wrote On Thin Ice so I knew that this is going to be another quality story - and I have not been disappointed so far. I'm stuck between wanting to romance Castiel or the actor first.

As for Time Catcher, the plot feels a little slow to me so far, and I don't find myself wanting to romance any of the introduced LIs, a phenomenon which is even rarer than me wanting to romance all of them lol.

For the MCs that can be renamed, I do change their names 80% of the time.

Heaven's Secret - I changed to Grace

Chasing You/2 - I changed to Sylvia

Rage of the Titans - I changed to Ariane

On Thin Ice - I changed to Nadia

Seduced By The Rhythm - I changed from Michelle to Miranda I'm pretty sure

Sins of London - I changed from Irene to Rebecca

Vying For Versailles - I changed to Jacqueline

Time Catcher - I changed from Nova to Circe (because I already have an OC called Nova)

And if I changed any other names, I don't remember right now.

*The sounds of incoherent screaming and feet pounding the floor as I proverbially run down the hallway and into your room blog*

HELLO YOU LIKE ROMANCE CLUB AND ARCANUM SELENA X LIAM!!!!!?????!?!???

Bless, I need someone to talk about RC that funky little app (and Lovestruck may your memory be blessed, RIP.)

SLDJDKFJF I do!!!! And I do 🥰

I just finished arcanum for the first time (with the Liam romance 🥰) !!!!

I’ve been playing romance club for like a year maybe?? I’m in the top 15% of players 😌✨

[a-lockman5]

Things were different now. {Devi x Paxton}

A/N: Whoop! My first attempt at writing Paxton/Devi. Requested! (eeee!) Canonically accurate. I did not proofread so if it sucks I’m sorry. IF I SUCK, I’M SORRY. 

Also checkout my masterlist! Please request more!

Warnings: Fluff/angst, (that’s it, I think?)

“Devi, hi!” her voice came over the receiver.

“Hey!” Devi chimed back. “How’d you get my number?”

“Paxton gave it to me, of course. I have good news; I was accepted to FIDM!”

Eleanor and Fabiola looked at Devi questioningly, but she just shook her head as she rose from the table and went outside. They were at Fabiola’s house studying for their chemistry test.

“That’s amazing, but of course you did! They’d be stupid not to accept you!”

“I’m so happy! We’re celebrating tonight and Dad told me to invite whoever I wanted.”

“Great! You’ve earned it, Becca.”

“Thanks! Do you think you can come?”

“What?”

“Come to dinner! I never could have made it this far without you. You have to celebrate with me!”

“Uhh…”

***

“Who was that? Your mom?” Eleanor asked.

“No, it was my friend Becca.”

“Paxton’s sister, Becca?” Fabiola asked incredulously. Devi had finally told her friends the details of the photoshoot the day Eleanor’s mom left. She’d explained how Paxton did not trust many people around his sister, and that Devi had met her only by circumstance. When Becca needed someone to save her photoshoot for her portfolio, Paxton had few people he felt he could call.

“She got accepted to the fashion program.”

“Yeah, but have you” –

“No, not once,” Devi cut Eleanor’s question off. “I haven’t talked to him since he blew me off after Ben’s party.”

She had not told her friends about the voicemail Paxton left her on her dad’s birthday. She hadn’t even told anyone Paxton kissed her. Things were different now though, weren’t they? After making amends with her mom and spreading her dad’s ashes, Devi found Ben asleep in Mr. Gross’s car. He was waiting for her… he stayed for her to make sure she was okay. She hadn’t considered Shira in that moment like she had the night of his birthday party. Devi had been so consumed by what must have seemed like a small gesture to Ben but was monumental to her.

She’d felt so abandoned by so many people during the last few weeks, but not Ben. Ben Gross. If you’d told Devi a month ago that she would kiss Ben Gross in his father’s car by the beach in Malibu, she’d have died of laughter. Things were different now though. Ben had been there for her, opened his home to her, brought her friends back to her, delivered her to what was probably the most important event of her life to date. If that wasn’t love, what else could it be?

After their moment in Malibu, Ben went straight to Shira to end their relationship. Reportedly, there was no love lost on Shira’s end. Ben did say she’d been surprised, but not particularly upset. After that, he and Devi were together. No real discussion – not that they’d needed one. Ben was texting her the next day, telling her the details of their first date. They’d gone to miniature golf, and then for pizza. Ben actually had the good humor to take her to the pizza parlor where he’d met TheRealPickleRick69. They’d shared a laugh and it was a perfectly pleasant evening.

She’d never had a boyfriend before. She had nothing to compare her first relationship to, but Ben was nice. He didn’t bicker with her in class the way they’d used to. He studied with her during lunch. He brought her gifts every so often. They’d talk at night before bed, but only texting. Her mother didn’t know they were dating, but instead thought they had struck a competitive friendship. It was better that way. They were allowed to spend more time together. Things were different now, but they were good.

“What’d she want?”

“She invited me over for dinner,” she told them as she picked at her fingernails.

“What did you say?” Fabiola asked. Devi didn’t respond, only continued to stare at her hands.

“Devi!” her friends exclaimed in unison.

“You can’t do that!”

“What would Ben say?”

“Listen,” Devi held her hand up, “Becca is my friend, and this is big! How would you guys feel if I blew you off after you got into” –

“Cal Arts”

“Berkeley”

“Exactly,” she nodded at each of her friends’ aspirations. “You guys taught me I need to be a better friend. That means supporting my friend while she goes after her dream!”

“Okay… but what are you going to tell Ben?”

***

“Devi?”

“Paxton, hi,” she tried to say casually.

“Hey, I didn’t” –

“Coyote girl!” Trent appeared in the doorway. “What is up? I haven’t seen you since that rich guy’s party.”

“You saw me in history yesterday, Trent.”

“Oh yeah, that was you!” he laughed. “What are you doing here?”

“She’s here for dinner,” Rebecca said from deeper inside the house. “I invited her.”

Paxton glanced over his shoulder before looking back at Devi. He frowned slightly and his tongue swept across his top lip as he gaze searched hers for a moment. “Yeah, of course, I should have guessed. Come on in, Vishwakumar.”

It reminded her of that party at Trent’s – the one that had ended in Paxton driving her to the hospital. He and Trent had been surprised to see her that night too, but Paxton was much happier to see her then. She stepped across the threshold as she felt her phone vibrate in her pocket.

*Hey, quiz me for geography?*

She had chosen not to say anything to Ben about dinner at Paxton’s. Not that she wouldn’t… she just didn’t beforehand. Things were so new and she didn’t want to start a fight over nothing. Because it would be over nothing. She was celebrating her friend, that was all. It didn’t need to be a big deal. Still, she pocketed her phone again after putting it on ‘do not disturb.’

“Thanks for coming!” Becca enveloped her friend in a hug. “I can’t believe I got in.”

“I can,” Devi said genuinely. “I’d kill to have your clothes in my closet!”

“If I remember correctly, you tried to steal some of her clothes,” Paxton grinned at them. Devi’s eyes snapped to his, and she didn’t know what to say so she just grinned back.

“So this is the Devi we’ve heard so much about!” she heard a man’s voice from the kitchen. When she turned, her eyes met the warm smile of a tall Japanese man and a shorter blond woman kind brown eyes. She saw the resemblance between them and Paxton immediately.

“Mr. and Mrs. Hall-Yoshida, it’s nice to meet you,” she smiled. “I brought some assorted chocolates, my mom would kill me if I didn’t.”

“Yes! I remember Paxton mentioning you are an excellent guest,” Mrs. Hall-Yoshida said, graciously taking Devi’s gift. Paxton’s ears turned pink at his mother’s words.

“Devi, come see my acceptance letter!” her friend pulled her out of the awkward encounter.

Devi read the letter aloud and watched as Becca beamed at her. “This is seriously so cool. I can’t wait to see your work on runways, in stores, you’re one boss woman, Becca.”

“Now, come on, everybody sit. It’s Becca’s favorite tonight.”

“Tacos!” she cried cheerfully.

“We have black beans or tofu if you’re vegetarian though,” Mr. Hall-Yoshida assured Devi.

“I’m supposed to be,” she nodded, “but I’m not always great at doing what I’m told.”

Paxton chuckled at his plate as Trent nodded next to him. “Yeah, this girl tried to wrestle a coyote! She does not follow any rules.”

“Right, my boy took you to the hospital that night, right? Isn’t that when you first met?”

“No, Devi came over before that. They were already hanging out.”

“Yeah, we had to partner up with Trent for a school project,” Paxton said, glaring at his sister. “We spent some time together then too.”

“And then of course, Becca’s photoshoot. The reason we’re all here,” Devi said trying to divert attention from her and Paxton’s… relationship? Friendship? Were they even friends at this point? Ben’s party, the night they kissed, was more than three weeks ago, and Devi never brought up his voicemail after she and Ben got together. They hardly looked at each anymore, even when they were in the same class.

“Devi, we always have fun when you’re here,” Becca told her. “You and Paxton should hangout here so I can see you more.”

Devi felt herself wince. She glanced at Paxton, who was busying himself with constructing a taco with a practiced stare. Did Becca really not know they weren’t hanging out? That would certainly explain why she let her walk right into this awkward evening.

“I don’t see why it has to be me and Paxton, Becca,” she tried to say with good humor. “You and I are the ones that have fun. We’ll just let Paxton keep hanging out with Trent. Who needs him, right?”

Everyone at the table laughed, except Paxton. Devi noticed he’d not looked up from his plate since getting his taco prepared. Was he actually hurt? He was Paxton Hall-Yoshida! He could have any girl he wanted, why was he being so weird?

“Yeah, dude, you don’t need the ladies when you’ve got me,” Trent elbowed his friend. “Mrs. H-Y, will you pass the tofu?”

“I didn’t know you were vegetarian, Trent,” Mrs. Hall-Yoshida replied, passing the tofu down the table still.

“I’m not, but my mom is, and I just have mad cravings for tofu!”

Devi couldn’t help but smile then, and it looked like neither could Paxton. Who knew Trent would be such a good buffer? So many times over the last couple months, Devi wished that Trent was not around and she could just talk to Paxton without having ‘Coyote Girl’ shouted in her face. She knew he meant well, Trent was a nice guy once you moved past his inability to read a room. Besides, it looked like that very same shortcoming would be what made this evening bearable.

“Actually, I will take the black beans too. Thank you for thinking of me.”

“Of course! Honestly, I did not know that many of those practicing Hinduism are vegetarian. My father is Shinto as I was raised. Paxton said that vegetarianism isn’t required in Hindu culture, but it is thought to be a form of body purification. Is that true?”

Devi looked at Paxton again, though he continued to avoid her gaze. When had he learned all that? Did she even tell him she was Hindu? Sure, they talked the day of Ganesh puja, but did she ever actually tell him she was a practicing Hindu? Maybe she did. She did have a tendency to ramble and lose track of her sentences. She finally tore her gaze from him to meet his father’s eye again. “Yes, generally speaking. In my mother’s house, it is expected. It’s not as common as it used to be, but traditionally the consumption of meat is considered sinful and we’re to have a responsibility to limit harm to other life forms – ya know, cows, chickens, goat. Plants are alive too, but my mom doesn’t take to that argument well.”

The table laughed again, and Devi felt herself start to relax. This wasn’t so bad. So she and Paxton kissed one time. Things didn’t have to be weird. She could still be friends with Rebecca and enjoy time in the Hall-Yoshida house. This was nice.

“So how are things with Gross?” She finally heard Paxton’s voice again.

Fuck.

“Uh..” Devi hesitated. She looked at Rebecca, who looked confused at her brother’s question, and then back at Paxton. His face was hard, smooth.. effortlessly cool. “They’re good, actually. I don’t know if you remember, but I got in a really big fight with my mom a few weeks ago. Ben was really there for me. I guess it made sense all along for us to end up together. I’m really happy.” She punctuated each word with an equally cool gaze at the boy she’d pined for for years.

She saw Paxton’s jaw set. “Good. Glad to hear it. You deserve it.”

Silence descended. Devi felt her anxiety spike. Why did he have to bring up Ben? And why did it feel like everyone knew how uncomfortable the situation became when he did it? Why was he trying to ruin dinner?

“Oh, Gross!” Trent said after what felt like an hour of silence. “I saved that dude’s life once! Man, you should have seen the crater on his face that day. Lucky I was there.”

Devi nodded at Trent slowly, not even able to begin to decipher what he was talking about. “Excuse me, I need to use the bathroom.”

“You know where it is,” Paxton shot back, eyes on his plate again.

She didn’t respond. Instead she found herself shut in the bathroom with her back against the door as quickly as she could. A deep sigh escaped her as she pushed her hair out of her face. Maybe she should just go. This was a bad idea. She shouldn’t have come. You know what? No! she thought to herself. I am being a good friend to Becca. Paxton is the one who blew me off. If he’s mad about me being with Ben, then he should have thought of that before not speaking to me for a week.

Devi pulled her phone out of her pocket then and had several missed calls and text messages from Ben.  He wanted to know why she wasn’t answering. It didn’t take long for him to start spiraling. Had he said something to upset her at school today? Did she not need to study for geography? Was she with Fabiola and Eleanor? He thought they liked him, why wouldn’t they let her talk to him? Was she rethinking things with him? Devi rolled her eyes impulsively but felt guilty as soon as she realized. She typed him a quick reply before putting her phone away again.

*Mom took my phone away. I found it but I have to leave it here so I don’t get in bigger trouble. Talk to you tomorrow.*

After washing her hands, Devi returned to the table. Some of the tension seemed to dissipate in her absence, but she still consumed her meal quietly unless she was directly spoken to. It felt safer that way. Trent kept Becca and her parents in stitches, and it almost felt like Devi and Paxton weren’t even at the same table.

After dinner, Becca requested root beer floats for dessert, and was eagerly helping her father. Trent had needed to leave because he had to get his evening workout in. So Devi and Paxton were sat as far from each other as possible on the couch in the living room with the TV on. She was trying not to look at him but she couldn’t help notice his fingers tapping on his thigh. It took her straight back to riding in his car the night of Ben’s party. The night he kissed her – what, at the time, was the happiest moment of her life. Things were different now though. Right?

She looked to his face to find he was already looking back at her. He didn’t look as cold as he had during dinner. He looked vulnerable and there was an emotion in his eyes that she couldn’t pin point. She was going to ask if he was okay, but he spoke first.

“Can we go outside for a minute?”

She felt her eyes widen. “Uh yeah, sure. That’s cool,” she tried to sound aloof, but she failed. The corner of Paxton’s mouth kicked up in a smirk as he nodded briskly and stood.

As soon as the door was closed they both started speaking.

“Paxton, I’m sorry” –

“Look, Devi, I shouldn’t have” –

And then they stopped and looked at each other with what could only be described as matching stupid grins.

“I’ll start,” Paxton said reaching a hand out and grasping her shoulder gently, “but let’s sit down.”

She nodded, letting him guide her to the top step of the stoop where they’d sat together after Becca’s photoshoot. “Devi, I’m sorry. I’ve been a really shitty friend to you. I didn’t know how bad things were with your mom, but that doesn’t matter. I should have been there for you.”

“I should have told you about Ben. I didn’t mean to blow you off, but I didn’t know what to say. We hadn’t been talking, and so many things changed.” Did he flinch when she said that?

“You don’t need to do that. You don’t have anything to be sorry for. So we kissed one time, and now you have a boyfriend. If I wanted a piece of the Devi Vishwakumar, I should have taken it when I had the chance,” he winked.

“I didn’t think…” he grinned at her, much like he had when he found her kicking a locker over a month ago. “You’re joking again.”

“Let’s not let things get weird, okay?” he stood up, before offering her his hand. “At least not weirder than tonight has already been. We’re friends, right?”

“Right, why should things be weird?” She grabbed his hand and felt the electricity shoot through her. It was the same every time they touched. Sure in her mind, things didn’t need to be weird. She wasn’t sure her heart agreed.

Part 2 >>

[ramblingsrantsreviews]

Season Review: Never Have I Ever (Netflix, 2020)

I’m a little late to the party since Never Have I Ever released on Netflix on April 27th but there’s just so many amazing shows nowadays that it can be hard to keep up. At least I joined the party!

Co-created by Mindy Kaling and Lang Fisher, Never Have I Ever is Netflix’s latest coming-of-age dramedy to take the world by storm. The show centers around 15-year-old Devi Vishwakumar (Maitreyi Ramakrishnan) who is desperate to change her social status and redeem herself from her disastrous and traumatic freshman year of high school. Let’s just say, the only thing worse than being known as the freshman who lost her dad during a recital is being the girl who lost the ability to walk because her dad died and she went into shock. Just as quickly as she lost the ability to walk, she gained it back and now Devi is determined to redefine herself and make sophomore year her bitch. With her friends by her side, Devi devises a plan to get them boyfriends so they can start climbing the high school social ladder. In addition to her plan, Devi must also learn how to finally grieve her father’s death, deal with her nemesis Ben (Jaren Lewison), and figure out how she’s going to get her crush Paxton (Darren Barnet) to fall in love with her.

In true coming-of-age fashion, the show deals with friendships, crushes, parties, and the general displeasure that comes with being a teenager. It’s cringey, hilarious, heartbreaking, and emotional all at the same time. Plus, it’s a fun and easy binge you can knock out in a day or two if you’re a hardcore binger.

Now, here is my review of Never Have I Ever.

As always, spoilers ahead. Proceed at your own risk.

Favorite Episode: 1×10 — “…Said I’m Sorry”

Season finale episodes can be hit or miss but Never Have I Ever knocked it out of the park. It truly did the impossible by tying up loose ends while still leaving us on a cliffhanger of sorts so that we beg Netflix for a season two.

With the title, “…Said I’m Sorry,” it’s safe to assume that episode 10 is going to be the redemption episode for Davi. What’s so incredible about this episode is that it’s not just Davi who is saying sorry for her actions, everyone around her is. The episode begins at Ben’s house since she has moved in with him so that her mother can’t force her to move to India. When Nalini shows up at Ben’s house Devi is less than pleased. Her displeasure soon turns to anger when Nalini tells Devi that she plans to spread her father’s ashes today, on his birthday. Devi freaks out and refuses to attend because she fears this is another “spring cleaning” attempt so they can go to India.

When Ben finds out that Devi isn’t going to the beach to spread her father’s ashes he springs into action. He convinces Devi’s best friends Fabiola (Lee Rodriguez) and Eleanor (Ramona Young) to put aside their annoyance with Devi and come convince her that she needs to do this with her mother. The girls show up and eventually convince Devi that she needs to do the right thing. Ben offers to take Devi to Malibu and though they face some obstacles, Devi makes it and is able to reconcile with her mother.

Meanwhile, Paxton gets a reality check from his sister Rebecca (Lily D. Moore) and shows up at Devi’s house. When she’s not there he calls and leaves her a voicemail. Devi doesn’t get the message right away though since she discovers Ben waiting for her in the parking lot of the beach. Instead of checking her phone, Devi and Ben kiss.

All of that happens in less than 30 minutes so its a pretty intense episode but an amazing one nonetheless.

As I mentioned above, I love this episode because everyone gets their apology moment.

Devi must first apologize to Fabiola and Eleanor, again, for her shitty behavior. What I love though, is that it’s not just Devi who’s apologizing, Fabiola and Eleanor also recognize that they’ve been a bit unfair to Devi too. One line that really stands out to me is when Eleanor says “just because we aren’t talking doesn’t mean we don’t care about you.” It speaks volumes about what teenage friendship looks like. It’s messy and there will be fights but true friends will always be there for you when needed. And they’ll always be there to call you out on your bullshit and point out harsh realities.

The true emotional moment of this episode comes when Devi and Nalini reconcile on the beach before spreading Mohan’s ashes. While it’s Devi who begins apologizing for her terrible behavior and for telling her mother she wished she had died, it’s Nalini who steals the show by apologizing for making Devi feel like she didn’t love her. It’s the perfect mother-daughter moment for these two and one that is so important because it shows that these two do love each other despite everything they’ve said and been through.

There’s one more apology within this episode, though it’s more subtle. To me, Devi and Ben finally apologize to each other for their years of bickering and nonsense fighting when they kiss in that car. Not only did Ben prove that Devi can count on him in the hard times, but Devi also proved to Ben that she could appreciate his presence.

Least Favorite Episode: 1×06 — “…Been The Loneliest Boy In The World”

Before you yell at me, it’s not what you think. I absolutely adore Ben; in fact, he’s my favorite male character in the show. And I don’t even hate that they decided to give Ben a stand-alone episode, what I hate about it is that it didn’t do anything to further tell us who Ben Gross really is.

The episode, which is narrated by Andy Samberg, opens with Ben on the bus on the way home from the disastrous Model UN event. Not only is he hurt that Devi turned on him causing him to lose, but he’s also hurt because he thought they really had a breakthrough moment at the hotel party. Things only get worse for Ben when he gets home and finds out his mother is leaving for another retreat so she can “be a better mother.” In addition, Ben’s father informs Ben that he’ll be unable to go to an NBA game with Ben.

Things aren’t much better for Ben at school. Sure, he has a girlfriend but she’s only with him for his father’s money and he’s definitely lacking in the friend department. In fact, Ben becomes so overcome with loneliness that he agrees to meet some dude he met in a Reddit forum. Of course, that goes about as well as one might think and Ben flees the restaurant after the dude is revealed to be a middle-aged man who asks him to “blow on his pizza.”

After a large pimple finds a home on his face, Ben goes to Dr. Vishwakumar’s office to get it dealt with. While in the chair, Ben breaks down and Dr. Vishwakumar ends up inviting him over to her house. Let’s just say Devi is less than pleased to have her nemesis sitting across from her at the dinner table. Despite it all, they end up having a great time together. In fact, Devi and Ben even have a moment while doing dishes together.

See, I told you it wasn’t a bad episode!

As I was researching the show I stumbled upon an article published on Forward.com that exposed the show’s “Jewish problem.” The author, Mira Fox, makes some good points, and its one of the reasons I decided to pick this episode as my least favorite.

Fox points out that while the other characters are either not defined by their backgrounds or are allowed to have nuanced opinions about their backgrounds. Everyone that is, except for Ben who is trapped under endless Jewish stereotypes.

Ben’s stand-alone episode could have given us the depth to his character and his personality. It could have introduced us to his family and his life that is drastically different than Devi’s. It could have even explored his Jewish background in the same way that Devi got to explore her Indian heritage in episode 4.

I guess what I’m trying to say is that this episode lacked depth until the final scene with Devi and Ben in the kitchen together. When I realized it was Ben’s point-of-view episode I had high hopes for it but unfortunately, all I got was a bunch of character backstory I already knew and a weird catfish scenario.

Favorite Character: Devi Vishwakumar

I’ll be honest, I had a really hard time picking a favorite character because there were so many amazing ones to chose from. My honorable mentions include Ben, Kamala, and Mohan but I eventually decided to pick Devi since I had more to say about her as a character.

Devi is insufferable at times and she’s selfish pretty much all the time but that’s why I love her so much. All too often we expect the female characters to be nurturing, to be selfless, and to be this perfect stereotypical version of what a woman should be. It’s refreshing to see a teen girl who’s allowed to be a mess because let’s face it, teenage girls are messy.

While it might seem that Devi stays static for most of the season, it’s simply not the case. With every minor mistake and fall out with a person, Devi is getting closer and closer to working through her grief and trauma to become a better person.

One of the things I love about her is that she’s so ready to have the best sophomore year ever that she doesn’t stray away from asking for exactly what she wants. Is her asking Paxton to have sex with her even though they’ve barely talked weird and probably qualifies as harassment? Yes, but when has a teenage girl ever been allowed to pursue what she wants so stubbornly?

More importantly, I think Devi is an extremely interesting and important character because of how she deals with her father’s death. While it might be an odd statement, I found that a lot of people I knew in high school, myself included, went through their first death while in high school. High school is hard enough with the pressure to succeed academically and socially but when you add in the need to grieve it gets so much more complicated.

Devi’s grieving process explores one that’s not traditional but is common. She’s so affected by her father’s death that she simply cannot process it. Dr. Jamie Ryan (Niecy Nash), Devi’s therapist, nails it when she tells Devi that all her issues with people stem from her trauma from her father’s death and the fact that she hasn’t been able to grieve it. And while I don’t condone Devi’s constant need to use her father’s death as an excuse or pass for her behavior, I do understand it.

Lastly, I want to briefly discuss Devi’s relationship with her Indian heritage. I love that the series chooses to introduce her right from the start as someone who isn’t “traditional” or rather is “Americanized.” We further see her complex relationship with her heritage explored in the fourth episode of the series. In fact, she even states that sometimes “she doesn’t feel Indian enough” to a family friend who used to feel the same way but after going to college has reconnected with his heritage.

It’s a theme we’re seeing explored a lot with characters who are both American and from a different ethnic/religious/racial background and one that is so important. I’m glad we got to see Devi’s version of her struggle to fit in and I hope (assuming the show is picked up for a second season) we get to see it explored more later one.

Least Favorite Character: Eleanor Wong

Similar to my disclosure before my least favorite episode, I also don’t really have a least favorite character from Never Have I Ever. Part of the reason why this was so difficult that all because all the characters are sort of terrible which is the point of the series!

While I could have picked a guest character, I decided to pick a character that was a bit more permanent to the story at large. In the end, I ended up choosing Eleanor as my least favorite character. While I did like aspects of Eleanor’s character, I felt that she was just another stereotypical theater kid. While it’s true theater kids can be over the top and dramatic, it’s not true for everyone. I wish the media would understand this and diversify it’s theater kid characters.

I also wasn’t a fan of her plotline with her mother. While it was interesting and unique it didn’t pull the same emotional weight as Devi or Fabiola’s storylines. I had a lot of questions regarding the plot. Why was her mother hiding from her? Was she ashamed? Why did Eleanor decide to give up acting when she finally was finally the lead? I know it’s because she didn’t want to be like her mother but by giving it up she became her mother.

Again, I just wanted more from her both in her character personality and in her storylines.

Favorite Pairing: Devi and Josh

Like most teen shows, Never Have I Ever does have a love triangle but unlike most shows, this one doesn’t seem forced. You’re either Team Paxton or Team Ben and I am 100% Team Ben.

While Devi and Paxton are cute (if you can get past the fact that the actors are literally 10 years apart in age), but they’re nothing unique about them. The cool guy falling for the nerdy girl is a tried and true trope and Never Have I Ever doesn’t do much to make it fresh. Nemesis to lovers, on the other hand, is something I haven’t seen done in quite some time which is why I was so excited when the show decided to explore Devi and Ben’s relationship.

Ben and Devi just get each other, even if they don’t think they do. They’re both competitive and smart, they both deal with familial struggles, and they’re both desperate to figure out who they are so they can fit in. In fact, the one thing constant in these two lives is each other’s presence. Even in their most vulnerable moments, these two seek each other out because they know they’ll be real with each other.

I mean come on, Ben ends up at Devi’s house after being neglected by his family and his girlfriend and Devi literally moves into Ben’s house when she has nowhere else to go. Not only that, but Ben literally rallies Devi’s best friends because he knows they’ll be able to convince her to do the right thing.

When will your favs ever?!

I knew I was shipping them the entire season but what really sealed the deal was the fact that Ben stayed at the beach when he didn’t have to. He could have dropped Devi off and left which would have forced her to work things out with her mom or else she’s been stranded at the beach. instead, he chose to stay because he didn’t want Devi to be forced into any situation she didn’t want to.

In my eyes, there is no love triangle after that kiss!

Complaints:

One of my biggest complaints regarding Never Have I Ever is that the series didn’t utilize it’s reoccurring characters as strongly as they should have. Obviously, the show is mainly about Devi and her struggles but that doesn’t mean that the other characters couldn’t share some of the action. There were several episodes where they were MIA completely. I would have loved to see Fabiola struggle to figure out the right way to tell her family that she is a lesbian. I would have loved to see Eleanor in action in the theater club and how her relationship with a crew member made that better or worse. I wanted to see more of Paxton and Rebecca’s relationship. I really really wanted to get to know Kamala better. It almost felt like Never Have I Ever was pulling a Twilight by having all these amazing secondary characters who didn’t get the time they deserved. I hope we get to see more of them in season 2!

Another complaint of mine was the arranged marriage storyline. While I’m not Indian and I can not speak to the culture at large, I personally felt like it was an outdated stereotype. For a show that’s so diverse and progressive, I felt they could have done something else with her character that was equally as entertaining and conflict inducing. Or, at the very least I would have wanted them to dig deeper into why she was being subjected to an arranged marriage. I guess what I’m saying is that I didn’t like that the storyline was played for laughs instead of actually digging deeper into it. It still could have funny elements but I wanted a deeper meaning out of it. Who knows, maybe that’s something that’ll happen in season 2.

Lastly, and this one is minor and has nothing to do with the writing, I was displeased with the fact that they cast two actors who are ten years apart to play romantic love interests. Look, I get it, when an actor is right for the part they’re right for the part but at some point, you have to be cautious of age. Maitreyi Ramakrishnan who plays Devi is only 18 and yet Darren Barnet who plays Paxton is 29. Maybe I’m too old but I just can’t ship a couple knowing that there is an age difference of 10 years! Ramakrishnan and Barnet are both amazing actors and they did an amazing job portraying their characters and I wouldn’t want them re-casted. I just would prefer it if they weren’t love interests.

Praise:

I haven’t loved a show so quickly and so deeply in a long time so it was refreshing to have that moment again while watching Never Have I Ever.

The humor and the dialogue was spot on from the beginning to the end. I literally laughed through every episode of the show not because I had to because I genuinely thought it was hilarious. From one-liners to entire conversations I seriously couldn’t believe how funny the show is. And it’s not just cringe humor nor is it purely physical humor. It’s not even just the humor that the dialogue nailed but also the serious and awkward moments. I cried through the entire final five minutes because of the dialogue leading up to that moment and the dialogue in the moment itself.

Never Have I Ever completely nailed the awkwardness of being a teenager in high school. I don’t know what exactly it was but watching the show immediately transported me back to my sophomore year of high school which is both a bad and a good thing. The friendships dynamics were spot on. I loved that they explored a friendship break in an authentic and positive way instead of it being a bigger moment than it needed to be. Had friendship breaks been acceptable when I was in high school I probably would have had more friends. Even the relationships were spot on — both romantic and familial. In fact, I really appreciated that Devi and her mother weren’t the perfect mother-daughter duo and that they both were still grieving Mohan’s death.

I absolutely love the show’s diverse characters. One thing I think was groundbreaking about the show is that none of their sexualities/races/ethnicities/religions specifically defined who they were. Devi wasn’t just an Indian-American character. Fabiola wasn’t just a lesbian. Eleanor wasn’t just Asian-American. Ben wasn’t just Jewish. Paxton wasn’t just Japanese-American. They were those things but they were teenagers first and foremost. Were there times I wished we got to know more of their backgrounds? Of course, but I also appreciated that it wasn’t the focal point of their characters or the story at large.

Finally, I did love that they gave Ben a stand-alone episode — even if it was my least favorite episode. It was refreshing to have a different point-of-view character and it helped keep the series fresh and entertaining as I binge-watched. I really hope they continue with this trend and that we get to see Ben have his own episode again but also that some of the other characters get there’s too. I’d love to see Kamala and Paxton get one to explore their characters more. Fabiola and Eleanor would also be interesting too. Even Devi’s mother would be interesting!

* * *

Overall, I did really love Never Have I Ever. I thought it was fun, fresh, diverse, and entertaining. I will definitely be rooting for the series to get a second season because I’m not done with these characters.

You can stream Never Have I Ever on Netflix.

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