#her anatomy is fucked on so many levels in this drawing but Dont look into it. or else you lose the game!! dont do it!!

[dexaroth]

considering making naji plantigrade bc its annoying me how i cant wrap my head around making a digitgrade leg fatter anatomy-wise and also bc she wouldnt benefit from having digitgrade legs anyways but ough.. i like my digi leggies..

[bladekindeyewear]

Boots reads Homestuck Epilogue(s) Part 5 - Meat Page 7

==>

Okay, time for Rose and Dirk to talk delicious politics or something.

Heh, customary show-end riots.

Rose, stop causing all of us undue alarm.

Ascending? Is she going to fade out into a concept or something???

Oh shit, Dirk’s doing something similar.  Some sort of inevitability once God-Tier is reached or some such.

Dirk has a solution to the problem in the works.  That’s... well, Rose already cautioned that that could be ominous.  I hope it doesn’t involve decapitation.  Or robot bodies, or turning her into an omniscient cueball or something.

==>

Okay, stage play time.  I can see a weird-seeming text color choice for Caliborn down below, hm.  Time to read down to there...

Ah, the classic finale-callback thumbs down.  Nice.

...yeah, reinforcing the point he was trying to make a little less explicitly with his earlier finale of Homestuck that Lord English had really just, sort of, trapped them in this narrative that their ultimate reward would be to escape, realizing it never really mattered too much compared to their own long lives and happiness or something.

==>

Epilogue TWO??????  D:

Okay now it’s, like, Andrew commenting isn’t it.

Oh shit, it DOES suck them up and trap them? Huh. That explains how Jade was dealt with, I’d forgotten. Also because it was one of the huge goddamn unanswered fucking hugepoints that made it seem like a slap in the face when we were told it didn’t matter and-- yeah okay let me just keep reading.

Huh, broken glasses.

And, phew; the ages it takes is from an OUTSIDE perspective.  Let’s see what it is from an inside perspective...

==>

Jaaaane!!! :D

Okay let’s read about Janey.

Mhmm, that’s not that surprising... Dirk knew that Karkat was going to run against Jane, but Jane didn’t, even though Dirk was ostensibly “working” for her.  There’s definitely a plan here.  Maybe it involves Jane and Karkat smooching publicly at the end.  ...No, that’s just my wishful imagination talking, isn’t it.

Oh my god she’s screaming into a pillow at hearing she has competition.  That’s adorable.

YES, JANE.  UNDERESTIMATE KARKAT.  YOU WILL FALL IN LOVE WITH HIM LIKE EVERYONE ELSE (though probably platonically).  It does upset me that they’ve taken this long to really get acquainted, though; I’ve argued for years that their personalities are naturally compatible as the straight men for all their friends’ bullshit.

In fact, Jane is pretty sure that Karkat Vantas would probably literally burst into flame if too many people happened to look at him at the same time, like a vampire walking out into the sun.

Yes, but he’d get over it.  And be a flaming president or something.

In fact, Jane cannot remember a single conversation she’s ever had with him that wasn’t about the economy. She thinks back to one time at John’s eighteenth birthday when Dave engaged her in a rigorous and rather one-sided debate about deregulation and the failure of “neoliberal austerity measures” until Karkat had to come over and put his hands over his roommate’s mouth to make him stop talking.

Oh my FUCKING god, it’s true.  Dave’s appropriately liberal in the modern, Krugman-esque, statistically grounded way.  Karkat has my vote already.

She’d be happy to accept a graceful, temporary defeat and let Karkat play president for a couple of years. After all, unlike her, he was not immortal.

Hey fuck you.  Also, why the FUCK haven’t they used one of the myriad likely ways to extend Karkat’s lifespan basically indefinitely yet???  Heck, JANE could probably do it with Life powers if she crawled back out of her own butt!  We already know the Condesce could extend other trolls’ lifespans with weird troll powers so Life powers are almost certainly enough to suffice.  >:(

Ohhh, so maybe Jane is just, like... slightly traumatized by trolls? And thus a little tiny bit predisposed against trusting them cause of the Condesce? :(

Interesting how she views her past reliance on / pursuance of Jake as something that made her “weak” specifically.

Okay, I’m getting a slightly uncomfortable vibe that Jane is willing to almost play at seduction with Jake falsely to get his endorsement on--

And she’s willing to do more than that, too.

Okay FUCK, JANE.  GET YOURSELF UNDER CONTROL.  I’m starting to believe the shittalking the others have given about you!  You’d better shape up by the end of this epilogue or what have you.

==>

Okay, trapped John can hear the other three through the walls of their prison or something.

Conversation and musings, conversation and musings.....

Wait, Jade LIVES with Dave and Karkat in that SAME HOUSE and they didn’t even mention it??!??  What is even up with their thing.

Heh, John’s thinking he really could have used a nice kismesis riling him up to better himself.  That’s what they’re for, really.

There there, John.

==>

Oh my fucking GOD, Jane rolls with supply side economics???  TAKE.  HER.  DOWN.

And Jade is just... here?  Huh.

Yeah they DEFS weren’t listening.

JADE: especially when JADE: there are much better things we could all be doing with our mouths.....

HOLY SHIT.  HOLY SHIT.  JADE IS SO INTO EITHER OF THEM THAT THEY CAN’T TAKE IT, CAN THEY.  THAT’S FUCKING AMAZING OH MY GOD

Her tail swishes from side to side

SINCE WHEN DOES SHE HAVE A FUCKING TAIL HOW IS THAT SUDDENLY CANON

I’M NOT MAD IM JUST SURPRISED

Wasn’t that something that the ask-responses from Andrew said she canonically DIDN’T have or what the fuck

Since I guess it wasn’t confirmed IN CANON he just decided he liked it enough to offer it here or???? I DON’T KNOW????

Wow why am I all worked up by this all of a sudden.  It’s just transferring from her earlier line isn’t it.

three of her bras

Okay no nevermind Andrew’s just fucking with us.

...Even though this can probably still be considered canon.  Which only makes how he’s fucking with us work even better, really.  I mean, why WOULDN’T he lob this at us on the ten year anniversary and watch us squirm, really.  There’s no incentive not to.

--oh wait wait never mind reading further these are just bras from different days she threw over the couch.  PHEW.  I thought for a second that we were dealing with dog anatomy stuff that would REQUIRE multiple bras on her.  Jesus.  I wonder if Andrew intentionally phrased things so some people would think that for a minute.

JADE: also you know trolls dont actually have two dicks dave thats an offensive stereotype

Pffffff

Wait, is it that Dave and Karkat’s relationship isn’t quite full-hearts sexual and Jade is incessantly shipping them?? :O

because that’d be hilarious too??  --*reads*

YESSSS JADE BEING SUPER STAT WHIZ WITH HER SUPER PARTOMNIDOG SPACE BRAIN YES

The thing about Jade Harley is that she’s not as good at personal things as she is at other things. Like science, or mastering fraymotifs, or kissing, the last of which she has definitely put a lot of levels into over the past few years because, well, what else are you supposed to do with immortal godhood once you hit the age where the dog hormones start kicking into overdrive? 

f uck

dog hormones

i’m wheezing

Alright, Jade’s springing a thorough relationship talk on them.  That’s cool.  Also she’s throwing statistics in there and I LOVE that now that Jade is older we’re reinforcing just how scary science smart she is, I can’t wait to see other people roleplaying her properly because of it too.

...Yeah Jade would definitely date a chess couple

Jade sighs and crawls closer. She takes one of Karkat’s hands in hers.

JADE: i think wed all work good together

AAAAAAAA :D :D :D

JADE: and i think weve been dancing around that for years now JADE: i wanna try dating for real KARKAT: HAVE YOU EVER CONSIDERED KARKAT: SORRY IF WHAT I’M ABOUT TO SAY TOTALLY BLOWS YOUR MIND KARKAT: DATING A SINGLE PERSON, FOR MORE THAN HALF A SWEEP, FOR REASONS OTHER THAN INITIATING THE CONCUPISCENT EXCHANGE OF FLUIDS?

PFFFFFFFFFFFFF OH MY FUCKING GOD THIS IS PERFECT

Jade being

literally the thirstiest person in this ENTIRE CAST OF CHARACTERS

to the point that everyone’s calling her out on it

in something that’s virtually goddamn canon

holy fucking shit I love everything.  I love life.  Living in a universe where this hilarious shit happens is fun.

....pFFFF JADE DIDN’T KNOW OBAMA WAS REAL THIS IS AMAZING

Ooh, dueling god-tier powers for petty reasons.

OH NO DICK DRAWINGS ARE LIKELY IMMINENT

THAT OR A CHART

OR BOTH

...yeah her hair would get everywhere, wouldn’t it.

yes make fun of ship names some more

What Jade leaves in her wake is not quite the emotional scorched-earth situation that she was going for, but a few of her needles have definitely gotten under some skin. Dave and Karkat both stare after her, silently caught in their own private rationalization spirals.

So this whole time Jade’s been all “JUST KISS ALREADY” and they’ve been all “what no” and now she’s just laid it all out in the open and left them to it.  Yeah that sounds about like what would’ve happened.

Aaaand of course, since this is Dave and Karkat, they just choose to stall some more and play video games.  Jade really DOES complete this relationship with her pushing them to accept reality and stop downplaying their own feelings and self-esteem and all.  But that’s what I thought would happen BEFORE I even read any epilogue stuff so I’m biased.

==>

Pff, Vriska time.

You’ve now got two bitches of either gender at your side

Vriska, shame!  Don’t use that kind of language!!

Yep, this version of her didn’t learn her lesson and is still pretty much completely delusional.

Alright, Real Terezi™ is still flying out in the abyss trying to scoop Vriska out of this jam, cool, cool.

Flailing and spinning, screaming, not being able to see the final event or whatever-- someone save her already we know it’s gonna happen!

JOHN: Emerge from the juju.

Oh.  Well, that’s uncomfortably in line with earlier presumably-discredited theories.  About John saving Vriska from the black hole the Green Sun left in its wake and all.  :|

Yawns too wide and snaps in half?  The moment he was dreaming about?

==>

Oh hai Jake.  This really IS the perfect time to get to see some attempted-exploitative discomfort between Jane and you.  I mean that!  The narrative timing is pretty hilarious.

The sunset has turned the head offices of Crockercorp into a shimmering glass monolith—a beacon, if you will, of the future, visible for miles in every direction.

Jane probably likes to think about it that way at least.

Wow, Jane REALLY sounds like she needs to be knocked down a peg or seven.

The whole place is candlelit, and Jane is reclining on her desk, sprawled out like a lounge singer on a grand piano.

OH MY FUCKING GOD JANE STOP BEING A SLIMEBAG!!!! D: D: D:

Thank you, Jake, for coming through and tanking this.

This is not really the kind of conversation you initiate if you’re looking to extract a sexual deal out of someone. It is, however, the kind of conversation that you might have with a childhood friend who has become somewhat emotionally estranged from you.

THANK FUCKING GOD.  Jane has been saved from herself for the moment.

Okay I see a whole bunch of paragraphs of black text down below just as these two are likely coming together for a kiss.  Uh oh.

...Yep, kiss there.  And, uh...

Okay whew, most of it is Jake privately soliloquy-ing to the narrative about the circumstances leading up to this. I can deal with that.

...Oh my god he keeps thinking of Dirk while getting in close to Jane.  This is gonna blow up in his face isn’t it.

Reading on....

--Ah, yeah, he just realizes he’s more into Dirk I guess.  Ouch.  Ouch, Jane.

DIRK: Were you nice to him? JANE: Well, I... DIRK: I told you, you can’t be nice to Jake. JANE: ...

PPFffffffffff

DIRK: Why don’t you leave Jake to me?

Now ain’t that telling?

Ooh, getting down to plot business with Rose.

==>

Back to John.  I see a bit that says “Listen” there, is he going to hear Vriska screaming? Or is Terezi going to pick her up? Since, like, I mean she has the jetpack and has been searching for her longer and stuff.

Yep, big ol’ LE tantrum.  Though alt!Calliope seems at least as much at fault for the end of the universe as him, if not moreso.

Ah, right, Andrew wanted us to THINK he’d hear Vriska screaming just so he could troll us like that.  Makes more sense, anyway.

Huh, the Juju just pops away.

OW.  Down a spare Rose, just like that, huh?  Probably part of why main Rose knew what the plan was supposed to be for all this.

Ah right, can’t use your Green Sun powers here, Jade.

OW.  Another quasi-doomed side-character death.

Yep, you have to make a tough, leaderly decision and let go.  :C  --Oh crap, you saved her body.  Are you gonna put the ring there or what, I’m not sure where that’s going plotways.

Pff, the whole fight going south just due to John losing his glasses... that’s pretty funny from a perspective.

Oh huh, real ghost Tavros gets nuked.

Oh shit, Meenah’s going in!  Don’t die, I actually care about this version of you!!

--Ah, thrown out and fate unclear, that’s a bit better than clear death.

Hm, Davepeta vs English round two?  I wonder what the purpose of all of this really is, anyway, beyond just a sense that some only implied-wrapped-up things are being actually wrapped up?  This whole Meat arc?  Is Candy going to be ultimately more important to everyone, as was part of the point, or?  Huhhm.

Final Round!!

Hammer buffet!

Slight obligatory feelings allusion via hammer!

Oh no! VORE!!! D:

DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < wrow you almost got vored to death

Phew, avoided

Ow, another decapitation.  There’s a killing blow and being trapped forever in a black hole for LE to look forward to, though.  Weren’t there theories about him being trapped forever at the center of that black hole or whatever?  Huh.  I mean there WAS the garbage disposal that his metaphorical Jigsaw-head gets stuck in early in the comic after all.

Alright, Davepeta sticks him in there?  Cool.

Yeah, you just had to remind us that he’s going to be plunging into his dead sister’s gaping hole, didn’t you? >:|

Davepeta. How they were so unfettered and brave. How they sacrificed themselves by flying right into the black hole like...

Like a fucking piece of garbage, you can almost hear Dave saying. May God rest his soul.

Yup.  Closing another callback.  Why is it silent, though?  Did the black hole stop sucking now that it’s gotten almost everything but John, or is it just his blackout?  I mean, is the end of everything just a thing that “happens” (which is still pretty fine, Paradox Space had a pretty good run), or did it just stop, or is it yet to be resolved or re-John-creates-Paradox-Space’s-beginning-because-hes-the-only-thing-left-constituted if he inexplicably doesn’t die from his heroic wounds or?  And Terezi definitely didn’t go flying around Paradox Space’s dying remains just to get sucked in too, right?  I definitely haven’t seen the whole picture yet I guess.

==>

Alright, back to Rose... actually this post’s getting long so I’ll cut here and keep going in another post.

[gravybath]

i’m reading killing stalking and i’ll slap my commentary over here as i go. gonna just add as i go okay? okay. it’ll probably get long so how about a read more?

okay, first page. already kinda annoyed by the whole i’m a male and have a guy crush i’m weird thing but.. moving on

also i can’t believe this is just. straight up levi.

why does yoonbum look like he’s already dying when bad shit hasn’t even happened yet hello?

mmmkay so he’s a creepy stalker. okay then.

OKAY okay he is. hes jerkin it okay then. also again why is he already skinny af and look like he’s dying aND no human alive jerks it that way but okay

hooooo, don’t . don’t bring bpd into this,,,,

mmmkay that’s low key,,, creepy sexualizing so much okay then,,

okay !! when drawing random people that are just background/flashback that dont matter !! it’s fine not to draw the eyes but !!!!!!!!! fucking those r ur mains just draw the other fucking eye there is no reason not to that is a front facing pose omfg u can even just copy paste omggggggg

why does this man look like a five year old boy, asking for a friend

don’t u hate when the cops show up when ur trying to break into ur crushes house b/c ur a creepy stalker?

also why are his nails like white? the hands r drawn p nice but why r the nails literally white compared to his skin tone?

okay originally i thought yoonbum was an innocent in this situation but nah no fuck him u don’t break into someones house omgggg

okay more titty than i requested but sure of course 100% necessary to show she naked yup okay,,

oh shit boi the cops talking to sangwoo,, that’s not the face u make at cops but okay lad also i’m cracking up the officers head is like ten times the size of the cop car oka y okay okay focus flynn keep going

i never understood the whole sniff the pillow and it smells like that person thing i have never experienced that?

yes a mysterious locked floor door in the closet obviously covered by things, yes check it out

why would she be wearing underwear but not anything on her top plz explain also that full body drawing the anatomy was super wonky but moving on

i dONT think u have a thigh gap when ur lying on ur side like that but ya kno,,,, whatever,,,,,

what kind of freak locks naked women in their creepy hidden basement?? i dunno maybe the same kind of people that break into their crushes house then smell their pillow

ohhhhhh he got the bat good fuckin night levi

wait did he hit his shoulder not his head? what now?

did sangwoo take his shoes off before dealing w/ the intruder in his house

i have no sympathy for yoonbum sorry not sorry fuck him up sangwoo tho ur a fucking piece of shit too

i’m gonna die !! quick admit u fell in love w/ him then broke into his house b/c u love him so much !! nailed it

this basement’s too small for the both of u, let’s go up. yes !! yes let’s just !! ignore the naked tied of woman and go upstairs like all is fine !!

wait? how does pushing him off the stairs break his legs it looks like he fell on his back but okay,,,,

his hand is going thrU the steering wheel yall !!!! omg,,,,,,, also the blur effect is,,,,, kinda getting annoying

okay,,, okay why r his hips so thicc he is a skinny underweight man why is his ass thicker than pudding

is he just gonna,,,, keep the dead body in his basement?,,,,

midDLE AGED? yoonbum looks like he’s 12 binch wtf

his hands r bigger than yoonbum’s legs okay how them chicken legs hold up all that thicc ass

ah yes, when mentioning how someone has hairy legs, drawing a single hair definitely is enough,,,

 sangwoo is,, i just? dump food in his mouth then kiss him okay,,, okay,,,,

i’m disgusting and yet he’s so kind. i love him. god damn this boy u idiot !! he has u trapped in his basement he just admitted to killing multiple people he broke ((i guess??)) ur leg? ofc he is so kind. i’m only mad b/c i’m this level of denial stupid shit

also wait who had bpd? was is yoonbum or sangwoo? i wanna say yoonbum but yeah,,, anywho back to it,,,

i’m sorry but the way they draw feet is horrifying

at least he bandaged,, one leg? and drugged him? annnd okay is he fucking him now okay wait no what

oh! okay he was uhh working out? and yoonbum was in pain,,, okay i don’t think this is the time for a ha ha u thought it was gay moment like ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,anyways once again yoonbum has the thiccest ass

who just fucking works out in their basement where they keep their kidnapped persons also where did the girls body go?

frame one: look how skinny yoonbum is

frame two: thiccest ass in the whole world don’t worry

if ur gonna wash him at least ?? put him in the tub wouldn’t that be easier to clean like u dragged his ass up the stairs wouldn’t it be easy to put him in the tub,,,,

yoonbum like i don’t mind u trapping me in ur house but can i at least get out of the basement

“of course it’s dark... it’s a basement ?” this fucker

again why does yoonbum have a crazy waist and the thiccest ass in the world i will never stop bringing it up b/c ??? he is literally underweight

“ur some kind of county whore” ??????????????

okay so,,, he can be upstairs? but can’t go past the line that starts behind the stairs? why not just make it where he can’t go downstairs? what’s upstairs?

if u loved ur mom fuckboy why did u murder her?

why does sangwoo have so many ?? boxes in his house he’s lived here for a while so ???

has no one noticed yoonbum is missing? no one?? he is a creep but i mean,,, anyone,,,,,

oh fuCK he stabbed him right in the fuckiNG EYE SHIT

wait damnnit he didnt

also how long has he been there? if his legs heal will sangwoo just break them again or will they just always be broken?

u can’t kill people w rat poison i thought tho? like somthing about gag reflexes or is that not tru scream queens don’t lie to me

also he only threw a few pills in the huge pot so honestly even if he ate that hand full of pills he probably wouldn’t have died so he’s just gonna get maybe even barely sick??

also why does he wear a crop top and a skirt like,,,, sangwoo,,,, what u doin there bud,,,,,

why did he kill his mom if his dad was an abusive piece of shit hello??

okay weird romance stuff is like,,, ummmm,,, i;m uncomfortable but okay? he fantasized about killing him multiple times and thought about escaping too he stopped talking about how much he loved him so ?? this is kinda out of place,,,,

“i can suck it” please stop i’m calling the police

“nah you’re scary” fucking !! i agree !!! who fucking does that after trying to kill their actual kidnapper and abuser ???????????/

look if he was still like oh i love him every now and then maybe but the past few chapters have been about him wanting to escape or kill sangwoo so ??

sangwoo is like blushing b/c this boy just rubbed his dick and his own dick then came everywhere and was generally alarming like yoonbum is 100% more alarming at this point. he stalks his crush breaks in attempts to kill him then jerks him and himself off like....

“he’s gonna hit me again” to “fuck he’s making out w/ me” is,,,,,,

with gentle hands he washed and clothed me everyday, and best of all he didn’t lock me in the basement anymore. yes what a gentleman,,,

“it’s so warm it’s like i’m in my mom’s belly again” okay how many layers of fucked up he got some mommy issues this boy also i really wanna kno why he killed his mom

u can’t show dick but u can show plenty of titty ???

“u understand we can’t go to the hospital” yes bby b/c ur a horrifying abusive murderer and broke my legs don’t worry i love u

okay so,, he’s leaving him home alone... why wouldn’t he just get a look on the front door that’s a keyhole on both sides? that would be the easiest way to keep him locked up w/o locking him in the basement?

okay so he’s still planning on leaving okay i don’t understand how he was so happy to suck his dick if he wanted to leave aND r there body parts in the washing machine?? 

okay i’m p sure u can’t fit that many bodies in the washing machine but okay,,,,wait was that hallucinationS? oh okay okay

again with the thicc ass

u chose this u can’t change ur mind” my boy sangwoo has a lot of issues

yoonbum is like avoid torture seduce him also thiccest ass strikes again

ah yes the notorious glowing dick

okay?? the pacing is so weird like it’s nothing then shit tons of abuse then make out time he he then torture time

thicc ass again

this guy was like suck my dick sangwoo so sangwoo was like let’s go back to my torture chamber ha ha time to die. like what kinda ego....

how could he tell were his fingers were on the other side of the cards okay ???

again w/ the thicc ass and thigh gap while lying sideways????

why is the cough sound effect drawn right over the eye i mean this time you could have skipped drawing the eye?????

again w/ the ass

okay i read it all annnd? i gotta say not as gross as i expected, the pacing is weird and it goes from nothing for pages to too much i dunno. it’s not awful a lot of unnecessary sexualization of yoonbum tho. and the whole is it just fan service or nah? idk i still feel like there r a lot of scenes where yoonbum looks like he belongs in porn so.. not awful but not amazing idk why it’s so popular rn? i really hope it’s not b/c people r making gross fetishy stuff out of it. i would like it w/ more horror/gore that would be nice. but overall it’s interesting i guess? not too terrible but somehow yoonbum is tiny and skinny as hell while still having the thiccest ass around.