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Writing Notes: Sex Scenes
It takes skill to write an immersive & emotional sex scene. Consider the following tips.
Is the sex scene even necessary?
Ask yourself this question.
GENRE
Sex scenes may depend on genre. Example:
If you're writing a romance novel, sex scenes are almost always mandatory. But if you're writing in another genre, like mystery or speculative fiction, you may not need to add sex at all.
Sex sells in Hollywood, but literature is more nuanced than film.
You don't need to include sex in your novel just to grab your reader's attention.
NATURAL FLOW
Characterization, pacing, and plotting should do the heavy lifting.
In fact, adding gratuitous sex to your novel may actually slow the pace, cheapen the story, destroy your characterization, and insult the reader.
Before adding sex to a story, always figure out if the move is something that your characters would actually make, or if it’s something that you’re forcing.
MOVING FORWARD
A follow-up question to ask is if this sex scene moves the story forward.
Sometimes, you can simply imply that sex happened without retelling the entire scene: It’s not always necessary to share every intimate detail with your readers, especially if it drags the pacing to a halt.
Don't get stuck in modesty mode
When you write sex scenes, it’s gonna get raw.
There are arms, legs, emotions, sweat, and nipples.
If that made you squirm, you’re not ready.
Come back after you’ve eaten some nachos, downed a beer, and thrown modesty out of the way.
This is the one time when you can’t think about who’s going to read your book.
Usually, editors recommend that you always visualize your reader when telling your story. However, no one wants to think about their mom (i.e. your average reader) when they’re documenting lurid sex.
Instead of thinking about your reader, think about the characters and what you’re seeing. Your job is to write down what you see the characters do.
If it’s clear to you, it will be clear to your reader.
Remember that you’re on this step because you believe this sex scene is integral to your story’s plot. So, if it makes sense for the characters, don’t allow your sense of embarrassment to weaken the story.
Use a lot of detail
Here is your daily dose of “show, don’t tell.”
Instead of saying that the characters had sex, describe exactly what’s going on. Look at each moment as a still photograph and describe what you see.
And don’t forget about the emotional exchange between your characters:
Record every bead of sweat.
Make mention of every moan.
How one may adjust their position for the other.
Describe the feeling behind every glance.
The pressure of each kiss.
The movement of light and shadow on their skin.
Employ restraint
After writing the sex scene, you may realize that there’s no need to include every single detail. This goes back to pacing.
If you spend a few pages, or even a chapter, detailing the entire sexual escapade, your storytelling can suffer.
The hot and heavy sex scene can become a grind to read.
Plus, slowing your pace may make it difficult to speed back up again.
Another reason to truncate your sex scene could be your audience.
If you’re writing for young adults (ages 12-18) or new adults (ages 18-30), the topic of sex scenes can get a little awkward.
Yes, some teenagers have sex, but does your average teenager need to read a full-on sex scene for it to have the intended impact? No.
Sometimes, restraint is necessary and even preferred in order to tell the best story to your reader.
See from your characters' eyes
Do not to visualize your mom while writing. Here’s a tip: Jump into one of the character’s heads and see it from their perspective.
Even if you’re writing your story from third-person omniscient, it’s essential that you stick with one perspective in the sex scene.
This cuts down on confusion (for your reader), helps with characterization, and provides for a more captivating reading experience.
The reader needs to be a part of the scene, not some awkward observer in the corner of the room (that’s your job).
Here’s how you do it: Assign an imaginary camera to one character so that the reader can see exactly what this character sees.
Writing a sex scene requires that you move in very closely to your characters. You’ve got to be all up in their space to tell it with breathless emotion.
If you switch characters, you’ll lose intimacy, so stick to one.
Make it tense
Tension is an important part of sex, and so it is with writing sex scenes.
In an effort to make them integral to your plot, your sex scenes should be tight with tension, but how do you do that?
Figure out what’s at stake for your characters. The reader needs to know what’s at risk for the characters before, during, and after sex (broken heart, broken promises, etc.).
Show the conflict within the character’s mind (perhaps one character is torn between wanting to have sex and wanting to leave).
Create conflict with another character (perhaps one of the characters is engaged to someone else).
Figure out what happens after the moment of glory
They had sex. Now what?
Don't end your chapter with a sex scene unless the next chapter starts with the repercussions of sex.
Otherwise, if you don’t tie the sex scene into the rest of the story, you’ll miss an important character development opportunity.
The reader needs to know what happens in the story immediately after the characters have sex as a result of them having sex:
Do they fall asleep together in love?
Do they wake up in the morning together in disgust?
Does one character leave?
How does the other, now-abandoned character feel?
Sex is a huge deal.
It should prompt the characters to make new choices that they may not have otherwise made.
If sex doesn’t change your characters, it doesn’t belong in your story.
Write it all at once
When writing a sex scene, don’t break your narrative to get a taco—Wait, why are you eating?
Sex demands your full attention (at least, good sex does).
And, just like with sex, you don’t want to break in the middle to do something else. After all, you wouldn’t stop in the middle of the act to eat a taco, would you? Don’t do it when writing a sex scene.
The ebb and flow, push and pull, rise and fall of sex are best written as one, flowing narrative. If you stop, it’s hard to capture that same moment.
After writing the scene, take a break. Then re-read.
Does it make you feel tingly? Then you’re doing something right.
When it’s time to edit/rewrite, only do so when you have the time to relive the scene from beginning to end.
Source ⚜ More: Writing Notes & References ⚜ Word List: For Sex Scenes
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Henri de Toulouse-Lautrec - The Two Girl Friends (1895)
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In Bed, the Kiss by Henri de Toulouse-Lautrec, 1892
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Title: At the Moulin Rouge, the Dance Artist: Henri de Toulouse-Lautrec (French, 1864-1901) Date: 1890 Genre: genre art Period: Belle Epoque Movement: Post-Impressionism Medium: oil on canvas Location: Philadelphia Museum of Art
#art#art history#Toulouse-Lautrec#Henri de Toulouse-Lautrec#genre painting#genre art#interior#Moulin Rouge#Belle Epoque#Post-Impressionism#France#French art#19th century art#oil on canvas#Philadelphia Museum of Art
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by Henri de Toulouse-Lautrec
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Henri de Toulouse-Lautrec (French, 1864-1901), La femme tatouée [The Tattooed Woman], 1894. Peinture à l’essence on board, 24 ¾ x 19 in.
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Henri de Toulouse-Lautrec - Etude de danseuse
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Henri de Toulouse-Lautrec (1864-1901, French) ~ The Artist's Dog Flèche, 1881
[Source: nga.gov]
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Henri de Toulouse-Lautrec - Pierreuse (Carmen Gaumin) 1889
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Rousse (La toilette), 1889
- Henri de Toulouse-Lautrec, Musée d’Orsay, Paris, France
#rousse#la toilette#henri de toulouse-lautrec#musée d'orsay#paris#france#painting#daily painting#art#daily art#artwork#daily dose of art
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Henri de Toulouse-Lautrec
Portrait de Vincent van Gogh, 1887
Pastel on cardboard.
#Henri de Toulouse-Lautrec#vincent van gogh#van gogh#expressionism#post impressionism#art#modern art#painting#pastel painting
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Simon Fujiwara — Syphilic Comrades "Henri de Toulouse-Lautrec" (found objects, skeleton, antique fabric, digital print on plexiglas, metal mesh, paper, paint, 2020)
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Henri de Toulouse-Lautrec - Waking Up (1896)
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Marcelle Lender Dancing the Bolero in Chilpéric, 1895-6 by Henri de Toulouse-Lautrec
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Henri de Toulouse-Lautrec (French, 1864-1901)
Two Friends, 1895
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Henri De Toulouse-Lautrec, A La Toilette Madame Poupoule, 1898
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