#hemp leaves

[tanuki-kimono]

Screaming karasu (crow) for this antique black obi, with vivid blue bamboo pole and asanoha (stylized hemp leaves) details.

And long time no see for the kimono pattern! Those wavy lines is a super ancient pattern called tatewaku, which represents rising steam. In-between, you can often found other patterns like clouds, or chrysanthemums for ex. Here the tatewaku has delicate all-seasons plants (orchids, ivy, chrysanthemums, bamboo, maple leaves) on running water ground.

[sixwaystocopewithloss]

I also want to collect my own fiber be it hemp flax cotton or agave

And I want to start buying raw wool too

[ikigai-dubworks]

Asanoha pattern…

Asanoha is a pattern representing hemp leaves.

Hemp has strong vitality and grows vigorously without the need for a lot of care, so this pattern was often used on babies' and children's kimonos with the hope that they would grow up big and strong.

Of course, it’s drawn on hemp paper!

Enjoy!

[morethansalad]

Simple Celery Soup (Vegan)

[puppy-darling]

The ppl hate me for my chunky rope swag

[foolsdiamond]

Finally got my Look Crucifixes put up in the new place <3

[styleversum]

Immerse yourself in the soothing embrace of nature with this captivating background pattern. Featuring a lush green fabric adorned with intricate cannabis plant leaves, the design brings a touch of botanical elegance to any space. The repeating motif of the leaves creates a sense of harmony and tranquility, making it an ideal choice for nature-inspired decor and upholstery projects. Let the beauty of the natural world envelop you with this enchanting fabric pattern.

[the-stars-sigh-when-i-get-high]

The way my puckered hole suckled right back up into my sphincter when I saw those flashing lights😳😮‍💨🫠

[allpapertube]

vape coil cardboard box

butted tube style 

silver foil finish

custom size

recyclable & compostable

[tanuki-kimono]

Nicely goth asanoha (stylized hemp leaves) miyako jofu summer kimono, paired with this embroidered obi showing a sea bird drifting on the waves.

I love the adorable shells obidome:

[silphiumextracts]

Understanding the Phenomenon of Variegation in Cannabis Plants

Cannabis plants are known for their lush green leaves, but occasionally, you may come across a unique and captivating sight: a cannabis plant with leaves displaying patches of different colors, often referred to as variegation. This intriguing phenomenon can add an extra level of beauty to your garden or indoor grow space. In this blog post, we will explore the causes of variegation in cannabis…

[sugarbcnes]

— “well? dig in!” ★ MUNCHIES 𝖾𝗅𝗅𝗂𝖾 𝗐𝗂𝗅𝗅𝗅𝗂𝖺𝗆𝗌

cw: loser + stoner ellie. mean gf femme reader. groping. pretty much just food play. praise. ellie is a messy bitch but a munch nevertheless. obvious wlw themes. weed. high key this is so unhygienic. heavily unedited. lowercase intended. drabble don’t like it? don’t read.

“y’so handsy.”

ellie looks like a dog. a desperate puppy with her mouth hanging open on a hot day.

her chin digs into your shoulder and her free hand that isn’t holding her messily-rolled joint is grabbing at your breast like they’re going to run away. they had already spilled from their black, lacy cups the second you leant back in between ellie’s thighs, allowing her fumbling hands to grasp what they needed to keep her grounded.

“ow!” you wince as she lands a particularly hard bite on your shoulder.

“sorry, baby,” she apologizes sheepishly, grinning lazily as her lashes flutter to shade her green eyes. they look up at you, red and hazy, “i’m hungry.”

“yeah,” you mumble, standing up and tossing your bra to the floor, “i can fucking tell.”

you waltz over to her fridge, feeling the way her eager eyes burn holes through your underwear.

you scoop up an assortment of ingredients, not really taking notice of them until they’re laid out on the coffee table, her bowl and papers pushed to the side.

you roll your eyes at the sight of her lazily laid back against the arm of her sofa. she props herself up on one arm, her jeans already unbuttoned and white tanktop riding up to reveal her wispy auburn happy trail.

her eyes widen as she spots the food on the table and she freezes for a moment.

“well?” you stand with your hands on your hips, “dig in!”.

yeah. ellie thought. i’m going to dig in, alright.

“lay down.”

you turned to look up at her from your position of bending to pick your bra up.

“what?”.

she stares at you blankly, sitting up now with her hands hanging between her knees.

“leave the bra and lay down on the couch. face up.”

you squint at her, suspicion crawling over your expression as you move to lay down across from her, shifting the cushions and throws to get comfortable.

she pulls off her tanktop, slowly crawling up your body in just her sports bra and unbuttoned jeans until she’s face to face with you.

“you comfy?” she whispers against your lips. she smells of hemp, champagne and the musky incense burning on the side table.

you nod and she messily presses a kiss to your lips, getting a good handful of your tit in her hand. she savors the way you gasp into her mouth, back arching into her touch. she chuckles lowly.

you watch curiously with bruised lips and hooded eyes as she grabs a strawberry and the bottle of honey. she takes a bite of the strawberry, placing it to the side and chewing as she opens the lid.

“wha- ah!” you gasp as the cold honey hits your nipple, the syrupy gold liquid slowly dripping down your rib cage, “ellie!”.

she grins and leans down, her eyes never leaving yours as she swirls her tongue around your hardened bud. her hands grip your hips, thumbs rubbing circles into your hip bones.

she collects the syrup on her taste buds, moaning as she finally takes your whole nipple in her mouth, doing her best to suck everything off.

“fuck,” you hiss as she releases it with a pop. the skin swells slightly and she grins, knowing a hickey will form there.

this feels like a fever dream, your mind blurry as she flattens her tongue on your skin and follows the sticky trail down to your navel.

“having fun there?” you manage to choke out, hands subconsciously tugging at the hair that lays by the nape of her neck.

she smirks lazily, collecting the sweet remnants on two of her fingers and bringing them to your face.

“have a taste, baby.”

you eye her down before slowly opening your mouth a little, letting her shove her fingers in. she moans at the warmth, your saliva coating her fingers as she sinks two slender digits in until you’re gagging on them knuckle deep. she feels herself getting irritable, her boxers now wet and uncomfortable.

“that’s it,” she whispers, looking down the bridge of her freckled nasal at you, “good fucking girl.”

she pulls them out and your hole clenches at the sight of your spit leaking down the veins in her hands and wrists.

after wiping her hand clean, she turns back to the coffee table.

you feel dizzy, trying to process the sensuality of what just happened to the point you hadn’t even noticed ellie tug your panties to your ankles.

she giggles slightly as your hips jump at the feeling of her nose bumping your puffy clit. you forgot she was high.

“ellie, i swear to god- fuck!”

you hear it before you even feel it. the slight hissing sound and then the feeling of the cold whipped cream swirled in perfect little mountain on your mound.

she ogles it, proud of her creation before she’s got her whole mouth on your pussy.

your jaw slacks and your mouth falls open yet your brain short circuits, failing to produce any sounds.

“mmm” she hums, lips smacking as she pulls off, “fuck yeah.”

ellie’s long fingers wrap around your ankles, the anklet she got you for your anniversary jingling in her ear as she raises them up, pressing your knees toward your chest.

you cry out as she latches onto your throbbing clit, tongue plunging deep into your hole to taste the main treat. you grip her hair, forcing her face into as if it were even possible for her to be any deeper inside you. trying your best to remember curtesy and your elderly neighbors, you chew on your bottom lip until it’s beaded raw and puffy. your mind goes misty, already hazed from how much you smoked and the spot ellie was repeatedly hitting with her tongue.

your orgasm is accompanied by a string of curses and white vision as your saccharine juices coat ellie’s chin and lips. your limbs twitch, toes curling as you struggle to grab onto any remaining strings of sanity let alone your own breath.

she gives you a lopsided smile and flops back against the sofa, rubbing your thigh tenderly just the way you liked.

“that was like— munchies but on steroids, babe.”

that was the last you heard of her ramble before you fell asleep. god, she was such a fucking weirdo.

[starcrossed-lov3rz]

The Vow Spoken Through Time - Part 7

Daemon x Rhaenyra x Wife!Reader

Series: Series Masterlist

Warnings: MDNI, FILTH, SMUT, dirty talk, oral (fem receiving), praise, degradation, slight d/s vibes, spanking, thigh riding, bondage, ropes, Slight!Brat!Reader, Dom!Rhaenyra, Dom!Daemon, Daemon has a rope collection bc I said so

Tags: marriage, poly relationship, Daemon being hopelessly in love with his wives, Queen!Rhaenyra

Words: 2.1K

Description: Y/N is having a rough morning. She's fired. She's hungover. She's in a stranger's bed. She's waking up in a new world? She's married?!

Rhaenyra and Daemon's day started normal. Waking up next to their darling wife before tending to their duties. The difference? Their wife is speaking in riddles and has no memories of them.

Check out more works in my Masterlist!

“If you didn’t make such lovely noises, I would gag you for that comment, issa jorrāelagon?” Daemon hums humorlessly. [my love]

“Daemon please,” you beg, pulling uselessly against the soft hemp ropes. Daemon had waited for you to finish your bath before ordering you to kneel on bed. He tied a silk blindfold around your head, cutting off your sight before tying you up. You could barely pick out his deft steps as he flitted around the room to find the softer rope in his collection. The ropes wound around your torso, and although you couldn’t see them, you could feel the grounding pressure from each intricate knot. Your arms were only bound at the wrist, giving Daemon the freedom to move you around and tie them where he wished. Right now, he had the rope rigged to the ceiling above the bed, forcing you higher on your knees with your arms stretched above your head.

“Be patient,” he orders with a swat to your thigh. 

You moan at the sting, head dropping back. “Daemon, please just touch me-”

“And why would I do that?” Daemon teases. “I said you were to wait patiently for Rhaenyra. This performance does not seem patient to me.”

“But, it’s not fai-”

“How about I give you something to keep that needy cunt busy?” 

You hear him move on the bed and feel the bed dip as he sits in front of you, sliding a thigh between yours. A groan of frustration escapes you as you realize that the ropes holding your arms up are keeping you from seating yourself fully on his thigh. “Daemon, baby, love, zaldrīzes, prince, please-” [dragon]

Daemon has mercy on you, loosening the rope holding your arms up. He leans in, nipping at your ear. “Go on, give me a show. Rub that needy cunt on my thigh.” The words barely leave his mouth before you grind down onto the hard, corded muscle of his thigh. You moan at the friction against your clit, and start a steady rhythm. Daemon’s hands rest at your hips, guiding them as he occasionally flexes his thigh up to add to the friction. 

“Gods, you’re making such a mess,” he purrs. “You just cannot help but cause trouble at every turn.” You whine, a blush lighting up your cheeks. The slide against Daemon’s bare thigh is smooth from the slick coating him. “I should make you clean the filthy mess you made.” He slides a hand down from your hip to swipe some of your slick. 

Daemon slides his coated fingers into your mouth. “Suck.” You slide your tongue across his fingers, eagerly following his direction. “That’s my filthy girl,” Daemon praises. 

You nibble at the tips of his fingers, and he pulls them out slowly. Daemon replaces his fingers with his thumb, holding your mouth open. Your hips still and brow furrows in confusion until Daemon spits in your mouth. “Don’t swallow yet,” he murmurs, rubbing at your tongue with the pad of his thumb. “Did I say to stop?” Daemon growls. “Keep those hips moving until I tell you to stop.”

“Yes my prince,” you garble out through his thumb. 

“You’re so beautiful like this issa jorrāelagon. Tied up and chasing whatever I give you like a desperate bitch in heat.” Daemon’s thumb pulls your jaw down again to spit into your mouth once more. “I’m giving you what you begged for. Use your words, what do you say?” [my love]

“Thank you.” You attempt to form the words, but you can feel a mixture of drool and Daemon’s spit dripping down your chin. 

Daemon moves to swipe it up with his thumb, popping it back into your mouth. “Swallow.” He leans down to kiss you after you swallow. You’re panting into his mouth, hips speeding up. “Are you close?” he asks.

You nod.

“Good,” Daemon purrs. “Stop.”

“Bu-” your hips stutter, but don’t stop. 

Daemon’s hands grip your hips, halting your movements before laying a spank on your ass. “I said stop.”

“She does have the hardest time listening, but she’s so beautiful when she writhes like that and begs for release.”

“Nyra,” you gasp as you hear your wife from across the room. How long had she been there? “Nyra please, Daemon is being unfair.”

“Oh, really?” Rhaenyra hums. “From where I’m standing, it looks like you’re quite enjoying yourself.”

“But Daemon didn’t let me cu-”

“What did she do to deserve this?” Nyra asks, and you can hear the conspiratorial tone of her voice.

“Nothing!”

“Keeping secrets.” You and Daemon answer at the same time.

“I was not asking you,” Nyra says as she spanks your thigh. “But please share what secrets you have been hiding.”

You whine, refusing to answer. Rhaenyra takes the bait, gripping your hair and pulling your head back roughly. “Either tell me now, or I will have Daemon spank that pretty ass red until you wish you had told me.”

“Nyra-”

“That’s not my name right now.”

Your eyes roll back. “My queen, please.”

“Now, jorrāelagon,” Daemon purred. “That’s not true.” His thigh grinds up into your cunt. “Why don’t you tell Rhaenyra the truth. Exactly like we practice.”

“Shi-shijetra issa, issa dāria.” Your voice shakes and you pull at the ropes circling your wrists in an effort to concentrate. [Forgive me, my queen.] 

“Say it,” Daemon says, hands sliding up your chest to pinch and tug at your nipples.

“Ny-nyke should emagon ivestretan ao.” You stutter out. [I should have told you.] 

“You’re forgetting something.”

“Don’t make me say it,” you whine. “It’s embarrassing.” 

Daemon answers you with a sharper pinch at your nipple, and your choke out a moan.

“Nyke aōhon, issa dāria.” [I’m yours, my queen.]

“And? What else, my desperate little rene?” [slut]

“Kostilus gaomagon issa. Nyke jorrāelagon ao naejot fuck issa needy orvorta.” [Please use me. I need you to fuck my needy cunt.]

Rhaenyra is silent, her grip on your hair drops and you feel her untie the blindfold. It drops from your face, and you find yourself staring up at her. “Fuck,” she breathes out, cupping your face. “Issa jorrāelagon, skoros emagon nyke gaomagon naejot gūrogon ao?” [My love, what have I done to deserve you?] She kisses you deeply, pulling back to plant kisses across your cheeks, placing a final one on your nose. 

“But Daemon is right,” Nyra says with a wink. “I think you’ve earned a punishment for keeping this from us.” She stand up straight, turning to address Daemon. “I think our naughty little love should start by cleaning up her mess, don’t you?”

Daemon grins wickedly, reaching up to untie your hands with a quick motion. Nyra catches your wrists, tying them behind your back with the silk blindfold. She pulls you back a bit as Daemon shifts away. With one hand at your bound wrists and the other knotted in your hair, Rhaenyra pushes you down until you’re level with Daemon’s thigh.

“Lick it up,” Daemon growls. “Clean your mess off my thigh and I might reconsider your punishment.” 

You lap at the slick coating Daemon’s thigh, letting Nyra’s grip guide your motions. She pulls you back as you try to kiss up Daemon’s inner thigh to his cock. “Are you really so desperate for cock that you cannot finish a simple task?” Nyra tugs at your hair.

“My queen-” you whine. 

“Finish.”

Whining, you redouble your efforts licking your slick from Daemon as they both whisper filthy praise. “You can stop now, jorrāelagon.” [love]

Rhaenyra pulls you back up to your knees, “you did such a good job for us. But you can take more, can’t you? How many strikes do you think you deserve?”

“Ten?” 

Daemon snorts a laugh, flipping you on all fours, facing away from him. “Twenty it is.” 

“Bu-”

“Hush,” Rhaenyra chides. “You’re going to take twenty strikes and count them out for us. If you miss one or forget to thank Daemon for each hit, we will restart the count.”

You let out a yelp as Daemon lands the first spank on your right ass cheek. He rubs at the stinging skin. The tinge of pain has your core dripping, and you arch back into his palm, “Don’t tell me you’ve forgotten already?” He teases.

“One, thank you Daemon.”

“That’s not the proper way to address the prince consort. I know that you know better.” Nyra purrs. 

“I’m sorry,” you squeak out. “Thank you my prince.”

“I’ll forgive you this time,” Daemon responds with another swat. This strike lands on the opposite cheek, but it is harder than the first. You squirm away from the hit, but Daemon reaches a hand to grab your bound wrists and push your chest down to the bed. The sheets feel rough as they rub against your sensitive nipples. 

“Two, thank you my prince.”

“What a good girl,” Daemon purrs, moving his hand to rub at your cunt. “You’re a dripping mess. This is supposed to be a punishment.” His hand pulls back to deliver three hard swats on the same cheek.

You jump, but Daemon’s other hand has you locked in place. Your breathing is heaving, and you pant as you try to regain your composure.

“What number, jorrāelagon?” Rhaenyra asks. “I don’t hear you thanking your prince.”

“Five, thank you my prince.” 

A gasp falls from your lips as Daemon again moves to rub your slick folds, this time sliding two fingers into you. “I might just leave you like this after we finish. Helpless, needy, wet, and begging for someone to fuck this desperate cunt.”

Your hips move back of their own according, trying to fuck back onto his fingers. Daemon pulls them out quickly, spanking your ass and thigh with two swift smacks.

“Ah!” you yelp. “Six-Seven! Seven, thank you my prince.” 

“Our desperate slut cannot seem to sit still and take her punishment,” Daemon teases. “Why don’t you give her something to focus on?” His fingers slide back into your cunt, fucking into and rubbing at your walls. You moan, not noticing Rhaenyra slide the dress from her shoulders before she sits, thighs spread in front of you. Daemon pulls you up by your arms, and your shoulders ache slightly. “Put that mouth to use,” Daemon orders. “You’re going to be a good girl, and make your queen cum.”

“I need my hands, my prince” you whine. 

“You have a tongue. Use it.” Daemon growls.

You begin lapping at Rhaenyra’s cunt in earnest, her gasps and moans encouraging you. Daemon lands another three hard slaps on your ass, all on the same cheek. You gasp into Rhaenyra’s cunt, your noises muffled. Daemon’s grip on your hands pulls you back up long enough for you to choke out the count and thank him.

“Fuck, that’s it jorrāelagon,” Rhaneyra moans as you suckle at her clit. You flick your tongue across the bud before sucking it again with earnest. You lick and suck your way down, fucking into her with your tongue, nose bumping at her clit with each thrust. [love]

You’re so focused on trying to make Rhaenyra come that you don’t notice the next few spanks. A hand pulls you away from her, and you whine at the loss of contact. “My poor little slut,” Daemon purrs. “Trying her best, but just can’t manage to do one simple task.”

“Looks like we are going to need to restart the count,” Nyra sighs. “And she was so close to being done.”

“Wait, that’s not fair,” you protest.

“Really, what number are we on?” Daemon asks.

You try to remember how many spanks Daemon had landed, but you truly hadn’t been paying attention. “Fourteen?”

Daemon laughs cruelly, spanking your sore ass. “Now we are at one. What do you say?”

“One, thank you my prince.”

NOTE: One thing about Daemon and Rhaenyra? They’re always gonna find a reason. One thing about Y/N, she shamelessly loves being manhandled. Is it really bratting if Y/N almost immediately gives in? Probably not, but in her defense they’re both kinda intimidating. Anyway, another chapter will be up later this week. Also, there are some ppl who I can’t tag, so if you’re listed and the tag list and not receiving notifications, please check that your settings are on “allow this blog to appear in search results” or message me if I messed up the spelling! ~ Lacie <3

Taglist: @syraxnyra , @avalyaaa , @angeliccss , @clocksonthewall79 , @sia2raw , @forma-lina , @lorarri , @imoonkiss , @ba6ysworld , @abaker74 , @aniisbavk1, @different-tale-student , @cruelladevil4,  @ronswhoree, @Lbl252003, @18dmlk, @beca2468 , @hnm-mika , @brocomegetyobitch, @pendejalian , @xoxoluvs-world, @lexasaurs634 , @jaydemon99 , @lovelyy-moonlight , @lavender2ari, @katiemars, @waitaminuteashh , @Judgementdayfan1, @shadyloveobject, @winterrnight , @malfoycassimalfoy , @Gracielacie, @serenitytomothings,

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[woso-dreamzzz]

Master Builder

Lauren Hemp x Reader

Summary: You work at Legoland

You spent most of your time tucked away in your workshop, isolated from the rest of the world.

Your work was repetitive most of the time, forcing Lego bricks together and gluing them in place, but you loved it. You had done a lot to become the head Master Builder of the Legoland Windsor Resort and sitting in your little room with your earphones in and nothing but Lego bricks was soothing.

You got to do what you loved day-in, day-out and watch as your creations got displayed around the theme park.

You weren't used to having people in your workspace (all of your coworkers knew not to interrupt you while you were building) so you didn't expect the thunder of feet on the stairs as you worked on your life size model of a leopard.

You paid no mind to it though. Sometimes the park booked schools to come look at the workshops and as the head Master Builder, they always ended up in your one last.

Sure, little kids were a bit annoying and always tried to touch your models but you could tolerate them for the ten minutes they spent in your room.

So, you didn't even turn around as you dug through your drawer of black bricks.

Arms wrapped around your shoulders and a familiar wet kiss was placed on your cheek.

You wiped it off in disgust and tore off your headphones, whipping your head around to glare at the offender.

Chloe Kelly grinned back at you.

"Must you do that?"

"Course I do!" She said," Only the best for Mrs Hemp!"

"The fact that you think you're the best is very arrogant," You replied, hunching back over your model with the black brick you had fished out.

"y/n's our head master builder," The tour guide said," It seems that she knows a few of you already..."

"You can leave them here," You said," I can take them from here."

"Are you sure? You're-"

"I'm nearly done. Can you call the site team and get them to move this outside the gift shop?"

"Of course."

You glued on your last piece and took your usual photo of the model before turning around to face the rest of the Lionesses. You hadn't met many of them in person apart from the City girls, whom you each greeted, but your eyes were immediately drawn to your wife.

Like whenever she ended up at your work, she was digging through the drawers of your mini models.

"If you're going to take some of them," You said," Then I'm going to need some of my other ones back. You're robbing me blind, Lauren."

She smiled at you. "You can make more. What's yours is mine, right?"

You rolled your eyes. "You're so lucky we're married."

She pressed a little kiss to your lips. "I know."

You picked out a few little parrots and a wolf for Lauren to put in her bag. "I didn't know you were coming today."

"It was meant to be a surprise. We've got the next few days off before we fly out."

You kissed her cheek. "It's nice that you came to see me." You slipped your hand into hers, swinging it for a moment before sending her an ear-splitting smile.

She shrugged. "I just came for the Lego."

You pulled your hand away. "In that case, I'm sure that Chloe can take your place."

"You're a catch!" Chloe crowed from the other side of your workshop," I'll fill Lauren's space if you're asking!"

"Hey!" Lauren grabbed your hand again. "Get your own wife!" She squeezed your hand and pouted in a way that had you kissing it off her face.

"Come on, pouty," You said," You've only got a few more hours before you have to go to your hotel. Don't waste them being grumpy."

Lauren sighed. "Only if you take me to see Miniland. It's very mean that you guys keep updating it while I'm in Manchester."

You laughed, already pulling her out of your workshop by the big double doors that led into the park. "The work doesn't stop just because Lauren Hemp isn't here."

"It should," Lauren said as you led her and the group over to Miniland," You know how much I love coming here."

"You love coming here because you get in for free," You reminded her with a soft smile," Always take advantage of me, you are."

"Only when it's about Lego."

From behind you, you could hear one of the girls say in amusement," Of course, Hempo's wife works at Legoland. I don't know what I expected."

"There's a bit of a surprise for you now," You said as you wandered through Miniland (with the same amount of pride you always got from looking at your work)," And I want you to be very happy because I had to fight tooth and nail for this."

Lauren's brow furrowed as she frowned. "Huh? But you didn't know we were coming."

"I didn't," You confirmed," But you haven't been here for a while now. I did want to show you on our anniversary but," You shrugged," You're here now and you would have found out anyway."

You covered her eyes with your hands and guided her over to the model of Wembley.

"Okay," You said, feeling an anxious kind of excitement filling your body," Are you ready?"

"Ready."

You took your hands away from her to reveal the final of the Euros made out of Lego figures.

It had taken you a while to get permission to change what was going on in the model and even longer to get speciality minifigures made to represent everybody.

Lauren looked wildly between you and the model even as all of her teammates crowed out and exclaimed their excitement.

"Do you like it?" You asked.

"Baby," She said," I love it!" Her hands wrapped around your waist and she spun you around. "You're so brilliant! Look! That's me!"

"Good god," Chloe muttered behind you," She's more excited about a bloody Lego figure than having her shirts sold."

[achromatophoric]

Upon learning of his impending transfer, the girls discuss their farewell gifts for Xavier.

Wednesday: Some would consider my gift to be quite thoughtful. It is made from the finest abacá, with a 3,300 thread count.

Bianca: Never heard of abacá.

Wednesday: It is also known as Manila hemp, which is misleading. It comes not from cannabis, as the name suggests, but from the leaf-stems of a species of banana endemic to the Philippines.

Divina: Oh! And Manila is the capital of the Philippines!

Wednesday: *nods*

Bianca: So what—is it like crazy soft or something?

Wednesday: No, but it is the strongest natural fiber. My gift has a minimum breaking strength of approximately 3,960 pounds, as opposed to hemp’s paltry 1,587.

Yoko: Breaking strength? Uh— Why is breaking strength important for bedsheets?

Wednesday: *narrows eyes* And why would I know the answer to that?

Bianca:

Bianca: So we’re NOT talking about sheets?

Wednesday: Of course not. My gift is for his neck.

Bianca/Yoko/Divina: *in unison* Oooh.

Wednesday: Though do I admit, I am unsure as to if I measured enough material.

Divina: Yeah? How long is it?

Wednesday: Nineteen—

Divina: Inches? That’s WAY too short—

Wednesday: —feet.

Divina: —for a… a tie?

Bianca: Excuse me? Nineteen feet?

Yoko: What the shit is Xavier going to do with a tie long enough to ha—

Enid: *runs up* Babe! Babe! I found like the PERFECT tree!

Wednesday: *turns* Splendid. Take me there and I shall text that fool the location.

The two immediately dash off, leaving the remaining girls staring in bewilderment until—

Divina: I just got him a shampoo and conditioner set.

Yoko: Bulk pack of deodorant.

Bianca: A gift card to Great Clips.

There’s a brief moment of thoughtful silence.

Divina: Should we like—tell Weems?

Bianca: 😒

Yoko: 😎

Divina: 🤔

Bianca/Yoko/Divina: *in unison* Meh.