#helps to show that off well my squad doesnt feel complete

[edains]

People who claim to like either ashley/kaidan who turn around and are nasty to the other one baffle me tell me you don't know them without telling me you don't know them

Ashley and Kaidan are best friends, sometimes lovers cannot deny they are soulmates (in the platonic or romantic sense)

They would not stand for someone slandering the others name while claiming to like them

[wickedpact]

You can't just drop that "I read Forces Multiplied" bomb on us and not give a ten page written reaction.

[cracks knuckles] if u insist

nicky cant drive hc: destroyed. rip. also i loved how andy and nile stole those sports cars and were being badass and driving off the bridge & meanwhile joe and nicky were just absolutely vibing in the van

'heres the thing about power: people who have it think they deserve it' [shot of police car] i see u greg

5 whole panels being dedicated to booker not being able to unlock his door. booker not even seeing noriko sitting RIGHT THERE in the window at first. incredible

noriko being 24/7 horny was surprising. like wow all of the stuff i saw she did out of context was 100% equally horny in context as it was out of context. love that for her

i didnt think the 'andy + slavery' thing was handled as badly as everyone made it out to be when telling me about it. tho from the way it was talked about i had kind of figured the conflict between andy and nile re: slavery would be really racially charged (esp considering nile is a black american and would obvs have Thoughts on the subject in that regard) but like,, done in a cringey 'a-white-guy-obviously-wrote-it' kind of way? but it wasnt that. i mean. it makes sense that andy would be implicit in slavery through the years

i mean, like she says, is that not what people just did to each other in the aftermath of battles for thousands of years? and i really like how its pointed out that it was what she was raised with (in the beginning when you see her put shackles on that guy after the battle) but she also accepts responsibility for it and acknowledges that it was wrong and not just 'what people did'.

i like how from her expressions you can kind of tell baby andy knew it was off but she sets those feelings aside bc she felt angry. it explains how she felt but didnt make her out to be blameless in it. plus i mean. i dont know, the fact that andy was involved in a lot of morally shady stuff for 7000 years is not that wild for me. if you live that long youre just Going to be involved in some shit, and she didnt even have other immortals with her as positive community influences, she literally just did whatever the fuck she wanted for thousands of years

'i was worshipped as a god once' i mean, yeah no shit she wouldve been involved in some seriously fucked up stuff, gods were fucking scary back in the day

tldr it could use some polish but it wasnt that bad

tho everything people said about moose being boring was unfortunately a little true. sorry king i tried to be interested in you

joe and nicky writing verbal fanfiction about nile and moose was iconic. 'you seeing that?' 'i am definitely seeing that'

it was also extremely funny bc that was like 60% of their contribution to the whole comic, besides kidnapping copley. they came, they wrote some fanfic, they left. kings. at least in tog1 they had an excuse to be useless bc they got kidnapped

joe just found out his old friend who he thought was dead is alive (and also probably wants to murder them) and instead of investigating with andy he stopped to help nile up. champ.

nicky shooting noriko through andy was cool. rip to the concept since it wont happen in tog2

wanna see mr ejiofor deliver this line

on that note imo copley was. weirdly enough, more interesting in fm than in tog1. to me at least. the fact that andy let him live and he was so haunted by what had happened that he came back and sought them out despite knowing they would likely kill him for it bc he wanted to not only make up for what hed done but also to tell them what theyd done for the world was admittedly more interesting than andy just kind of drafting him to the cause and him going 'okie'

i like how nicky was drawn in this one. in opening fire he looks like a blob man but in fm he looks more like a very nice grampa with a very good dye job

'theres no pain like a broken heart' andy 🥺

noriko implying andy's never drowned. .. .idk about that one, she musta drowned sometime

joe and nicky came, they waxed poetic about nile's love life, they waxed poetic about grog, and then they left.

sports bras being a reason humanity is good. i mean..... okay, yeah.

i mean. wild but you cant exactly tell her shes wrong

i liked how noriko telling andy that their purpose is to make people suffer coincides with joe and nicky finding out that they actually did good all those years

joenicky in opening fire: jail for booker jail for booker for 100 years

joenicky when copley tells them he knows where booker is: WE'LL KILL YOU WHERE IS HE

joenicky when copley comes back: if your vibes come off as even remotely rancid we Will destroy you

joenicky 2 minutes later when copley helped them find booker: he made up some ground :)))) <3 lov you j cops

theyre forgiving af

moose: how old are you?? a hundred??? a thousand???

nile [vine voice]: I M 2 7 ?

alright andy you got me there

joe texts like my aunt

i dont know why noriko drowning andy in that car tickled me. Bad And Naughty Andromaches Get Put In The Pear Wiggler To Atone For Their Crimes.

the drowning sequence was cool

copley trying to talk to andy while she was like o_o at him was great

ive hit the picture limit but id seen that panel where nicky goes 'forgive me' as he kills a guy out of context and it was HILARIOUSLY anticlimactic for me to discover that there was literally no context to it. nicky just apologizes to random people he kills. i thought that guy was someone he knew or something. nope its just Some Guy that nicky didnt know from adam

nile's complaint that andy was especially brutal to the guys on the boat... i mean. . , how exactly does one kill a man with an axe and not be brutal about it?

it was funny how noriko kissed andy and the only people who seemed surprised by that were nile and also andy

nicky and joe's complete non-reaction to finding out noriko is alive And Evil Now is endlesly funny. they just left her on that boat and neither cared. i get book and nile not caring but joe and nicky knew her, and they just have 0 input on the subject of what to do with her

pinstripe suit guy!

joe and nicky and booker packing up and leaving with nile

andy blowing up at nile was A Moment tho

i dont know, i get why people didnt like the ending but its. .. . it makes more sense in the comicverse. bc the squad doesnt really. .. interact outside of jobs? i mean, think of the moon landing story in ttt. that was booker and joe and nicky doing a job and andy only showed up a for a couple minutes after it was done. or the brunch in the first issue of opening fire. the squad arent as tight in the comic, and andy often seems to do her own thing outside of work, so andy saying 'i dont want to do work anymore' and the squad being like 'alright bye then' makes more sense in this universe than the movie one

also i feel like greg was Trying to set up a thing where nile becomes the Leader of The Squad after andy dies but like. its not very well done since. . . i mean, nile hasnt spoken to booker since opening fire, (and she only knew him A Day). and shes known joe and nicky all that time, but there isnt really anything that indicates that they have any relationship at all, much less one that's grown. in all the comicverse the only time nile and nicky speak is in FM, and in that scene nicky tells nile about noriko. nile goes from someone who needs to be set aside to have background knowledge explained to her to being the Leader of the group with nothing in between. it kind of... comes out of nowhere.

on the other hand tho... i felt really bad for andy thru the whole thing. well, i always felt bad for andy, but in this one she seemed so miserable, especially since it really felt like none of the others actually.... cared about her. when noriko came back no one asked andy how she was doing (big question ik, but it wouldve showed they cared at least), nobody ever expressed any concern for her, no one even really seemed to want to be around her. in opening fire everyone was more distant than in the movie of course, but there were little moments where she would joke with joe, or nicky would try and comfort her, or stuff like that, but in FM it really felt like they just didnt really care about her. & in opening fire it felt a lot like andy's relationship with nile breathed some new life into her, but in FM it felt like all they did was argue. i get theyre not *as* close in the comics but it really felt like the only person who cared about andy at all was noriko (which was probably also how andy felt) but it just seemed to come out of nowhere. honestly i was reading and i was honestly agreeing with andy that she might just be better off if she did just die. opening fire, on the other hand, never make me feel that way

tho everyone made it sound like when the squad split up it was one of those cursed 'the found family leaves each other at the end of the journey' tropes. but guys i mean,,, this is the second installment out of three. that isnt the End. theyll come back in the third one and Dramatically Reunite to fight some baddies (probably those 'others' noriko mentioned). im guessing yitzhak fits into that too somehow.

anyways it wasnt That Bad but it made me kind of sad and the only Sweet Found Family vibes in it were when they saved booker. also they shouldve beefed up that nilemoose romance, it underwhelmed me. 6.5/10

i also ABSOLUTELY understand all of greg's comments about how you couldnt make FM directly into a movie, he always said that it had no plot and. i get it now. it really didnt have a plot sdfghjkl

[neoraso]

royal guard!minho

requested | some gender neutral hc for how he starts to wish he was maybe more than just a guard to you 

to put things lightly, minho was the ace of your entire guard

like he was better than anyone …at everything

so originally he was on (your father) the king’s immediate guard

he was nothing but professional and saved the king too many times to count even from like stepping on rocks idk 

when you turned like 17 and had to do more public appearances obv u were in a lot more danger so ur father jumped at having minho reassigned to u as the head of your personal guard “nothing but the best for his child”

the first time you met him… he only nodded or said yes or no to everything u asked him n ur jus like ok not much of a talker that’s not so bad ig haha ʕʘ‿ʘʔ

he was so quiet and “polite” for months despite you constantly trying to get something out of him

ur other guards always tried not to laugh bc if only u knew he had like two friends and was generally a pretty serious guy

but one day there was a festival in your kingdom’s central city so obv you had to make an appearance which u were very excited abt bc you only get to go into town like twice a year and THIS was one of those times

being “of age” and that much closer to taking the throne you might as well have painted a big red target on your head to signal people against the throne

everything was going fine, everyone was having fun and you decided to visit some of the booths and musicians around the square

minho was already suspicious of the situation and tightens the rest of your guard without u evenn rlly noticing but like

just as you turned to show these cute little candies to minho to maybe get a reaction for once -

the second he looks at you, someone moves to grab you but the flash of a knife in his other hand causes minho to jump immediately into action

honestly who knows what rlly happened minho moved so damn fast but the next thing you know, ur in the middle of your whole guard squad

looking through the gaps of their shoulders you see minho pinning down your assailant with a blade against his neck waiting for someone to arrest him even though he rlly wanted to just execute the guy right there 

the festivities were kind of killed for u after that bc you and your family were rushed back home which u might’ve been more sad abt if u werent in so much shock :<

obv minho was the one to escort you back but like all he said was “you’re okay?” and after u dumbly nodded with wide eyes he walked with you but kept a hand around your shoulder

no one really talked after that which wasn’t unusual for him but in his mind he was rlly like 

“?? ok i know its literally my job to protect this family but?? hm whyyyy do i seem to care sm more rnnn??//?” help him sdhskjd

u just looked so shaken up and disappointed and suddenly he was like damn </3 they rlly have no fun in their life and this one time they could was ruined :///

u had to stay inside for weeks after that bc it turns out there was a whole conspiracy to “eliminate” your family line so you waited in safety until the criminals were “taken care of” 

minho had everything triple checked around the castle for your safety and secretly made sure you had extra treats and warm drinks sent to your room sometimes with little notes that he had the cook pretend to have sent because lately he’d heard you had trouble sleeping sometimes he’s shy boy aw

he started to realize how much he had gotten used to your smile and your little jokes and the way you sometimes tripped on the corners of rugs. and he thought maybe it was a good thing you guys didnt have many interactions lately because he was way too attached

you on the other hand, couldnt even rlly complain about having to stay inside so much bc you had everything you needed and- you knew it was for ur safety but- it wassss kind of suffocating at times

u tried sneaking out at first ((just to the garden!!)) which obviously was a bad idea bc it’s impossible to get past minhos fcking hawk eyes lmao

he STILL didnt say anything like he would just follow right behind you

n like u kinda huffed but whatever honestly at least it was just him and not 15 other guards like everyone acted like you needed

plus it was somewhat comforting to have someone so solid around even if he never talked smh

one night you sat near the little pond and tried to calm your mind by watching how the moonlight rippled in the water

you can feel him behind you so u just turn around and look at him ignoring how he was already looking at you

 “would you at least sit with me?”

he kind of hesitates bc …what if someone tried to come up behind you? but with the sad look on your face he cant help but give in and sits on the stone bench at the opposite end of you

it becomes actually somewhat peaceful until you just decide to ask everything you’ve been wondering n u just blurt out-

“would it kill you to talk with me once in a while? i mean, talk like a normal person and not a machine? i dont bite i promise..”

he furrows his brow bc he’s shocked you cared at all and also he doesnt rlly know how to respond without being like “its not really in my job description to make conversation” but he honestly just thought you were being talkative out of niceties.

 before he could even form a sentence you continued,

“i mean- i’m always trying to get your attention. i dont get to meet many people for obvious reasons but my guards are the closest people to me-literally, and i dont want there to be a big gap between us just because of my status..”

he cuts you off before you ramble yourself to death 

“i didn’t know you were this troubled by it… i just take my job very seriously and i dont want to risk anyone’s safety for the sake of conversation”

u almost roll ur eyes but not wanting to be rude ur just like “even at home? i know you’re serious about your duties, believe me, i just… i get lonely.”

smthing inside him literally breakkkssss when you say that like u are such a pure and sweet person that deserves to have all the love and friends and fun in the world so he just gets quiet for a second and looks down

“im sorry.” he said it so softly you almost didnt hear him “i’ll be there for you more- if thats what you need. im essentially in charge of your safety and care and i’ll do anything to fulfill that responsibility.”

ok.

well this was good right? so why did you still feel unsatisfied?

“i dont want to just be a responsibility, cant we just be like friends? or…”

you cut yourself off before talking too much again

you had to admit to yourself you had developed a bit of a liking for minho, not just because he was probably the most handsome person in your kingdom, not even just because he saved your life, but he had really been a pillar of security in your life and you respected his loyalty and ambition.

he was more than admirable and everything you wanted as a standard for your kingdom

sometimes you let your mind wander to him getting on one knee and leading alongside you..

no, now youre getting sidetracked and delusional and he can practically hear the gears turning in your head so he stands up and reaches his hand out for you to grab 

“of course you’re more than a responsibility to me, come on, lets go inside it’s getting cold.’

taking his hand and realizing the conversation was over, you moved to link arms instead  as he walked you all the way to your bedroom door 

u slept a lot better that night 

from that point on you could not get rid of minho 

like everyone was borderline uncomfortable with how jarring his change in attitude was 

like he was constantly behind you looking right over your shoulder or grabbing your arm to stop you from bumping into things

even when he wasnt technically on duty he had taken it upon himself to give you little lessons in archery and even some defensive moves to help you protect yourself in case someone wasnt fast enough to help you 

your tried not to get flustered every time he adjusted your form and the way you could feel his breath behind your ear

or the head pats when he walked you to your room at night

or his hand on your back when you guys would take walks in the garden

honestly it did not take long until one night you were sat next to your pond and after some comfortable small talk you noticed how close his face was to yours

but he noticed you didn’t pull away even as he leaned in closer and finally just kissed you

when he pulled away and saw your eyes still closed and how soft you looked his heart almost exploded

“i didnt mean to make things weird i just,, couldnt help myself, sorry”

his rushed confession pulls you out of your daze and you’re so happy (a little shocked) but you’re quick to reassure him

“it’s ok, i’ve been wanting you to do that for a while …”

he’s jus like “rlly?😳”

obviously this complicates things a lot and you aren’t really sure if you would even be allowed to have a relationship with minho bc of ur position

or if he would get in trouble for breaking the rules of attachment to u

all of this is kind of racing thru both of ur minds as you look at each other but you laugh after u both start talking at the same time

you prod him to go first so he grabs your hands and says like

“look i care about you a lot, and i know we’re not really supposed to be doing this but if i can be by your side … beyond my duties…i would really love to. but if we can’t, i can survive with just being here to protect and serve you in anyway i can”

he’s so honest and genuine and earnest it shocked u a little

even tho you were uncertain abt the situation as well you knew you had grown a little too fond and dependent on minho that you would do anything to make it work

luckily an arranged marriage was not required for you so that wasnt really the issue, but falling in love with someone not at all royal..? it was a daunting thought how the idea would be perceived 

you wouldnt have said anything if you both weren’t completely sure of your feelings;  but you really could not imagine being content or safe spending your life with anyone else so you mustered up the courage to ask the king and queen…

when you brought it up to your parents they looked pretty concerned

minho went on the whole “i’ll do anything to protect them and this kingdom” speech and your father just waved him off and was like

“i know u would …. i’ll allow it because there’s really no one better to represent the kingdom and because i want only the best for my child ;)”

u and minho were literally in shock but just quietly said thank u and left the room

when you had privacy he immediately pulled you in for a kiss (maybe several all over ur face)

you had a lot to figure out and many responsibilities but now you had an amazing person by your side to help you through it :.) <3

[bean-pole-art]

Ed’s Borderlands Fics Masterpost

well finally

here is the masterpost of all of my Borderlands fics posted. most of them are Rhysothy focused to various AUs. I’m gonna update it as I post more but here it is, along with some of my commentary

right from the start big big BIG shoutout to @spoks-illogical-art​, my partner in crime, my biggest inspo, without them honestly most of these fics wouldn’t exist, please check out their amazing art <3

(latest edit - 21/02/2021)

Atlas AU - our main timeline, follows events of Moxxi’s Heist. lots of different concepts and ideas but the core really is Tim moving to Promethea to get help from Rhys. gonna sort em here with posting date, check the ao3 series for the “timeline”

Hypothetically - 2240 words summary: Rhys talks a lot, but usually thinks about it too little.

coffee, cats & monographs - 2880 words summary: “Hey hey, easy. You don’t want to repeat the accident from last week, do you?” Rhys cooed towards the cat and picked her up, just as Timothy instructed him to. Hearing these words, Felicity meowed. “Oh, don’t say that. This is my office and I have the power here,” he answered, carrying her back to his personal space.

Or Timothy's cat pays a visit to Rhys' office in the morning. note: I am a stupid mofo and at this point Tim would also have Loader Bot fkjbfd just imagine hes not mentioned cause hes wandering off, typical LB

Have Faith - 1470 words summary: During the 7 year lockdown at the Handsome Jackpot, Timothy couldn't really have any hope for himself. But maybe on Promethea it could be different. note: sudden feelings while watching JoltzDude139′s stream

Warm Cheeks, Cold Hands - 1170 words summary: Rhys comes home early and wants to say hi to his husband. With no ulterior motive. None at all. note: first fic Ive ever posted where characters are married, actually. fuck it, Rhysothy Real, his name is Rhys Lawrence

the battle (and the aftermath) of the ages - 2970 words summary: In a situation like this everything was possible, they could pull any punches they could think of. Four beasts playing against each other, every single one of them thinking of striking the winning blow.

Or Promethea Squad plays UNO. And then watches a movie. note: I love Promethea Squad with my whole heart

okurimono (贈り物) - 4/4, 17170 words summary: “Not a bomb. Just a device with a message for Rhys. Trust me on that,” this time an emoji of both winking and showing off a tongue [;P] appeared on the surface of Zer0’s helmet. Ah. So they were definitely trying to mess him up. In a way. Unfortunately, he really didn’t have any other options. Almost with a defeat, Timothy took the ECHOrecorder right from their hands and looked around it again. Or Zer0 gives Timothy a peculiar mission. note: my first ever multichapter fic. took me legit abt 8 months to finish but I am absolutely satisfied with this. also the bonus ending. yes

(there is) something I see in you - 8690 words summary: How one Rhys Strongfork met one Timothy Lawrence and how they fell for each other. More or less. note: best to go into this one blind, I swear. dumbest fic Ive ever written and please take this as a recommendation

this world is gonna pull through - 14380 words summary: Timothy really hoped it wasn’t anything important. He had that tendency to forget things easily, even if he tried to fight it. But Rhys kept on smiling and went by his side. So it couldn’t have been that bad. Still dumbfounded, he felt Rhys leaving a kiss right on his cheek.“November 11th? 

That- That seriously doesn’t ring any bells?” Rhys continued, brushing his hands against his shoulders. Or how Timothy spent one of his birthdays. note: also a love letter for Tim but a nicer one I guess kdjfnb dont ask how old is he i have no gdamn idea man

Strawberry Sweet - 3560 words summary: Rhys surprises Timothy with a gift for their date night in.

Happy Mercenary Day, Mr. Lawrence - 4670 words summary: How Timothy spent his first Mercenary Day on Promethea. note: I swear this is the best writer night Ive ever had. Ive written this whole thing in one night on Christmas day, solely on the inspo of that song I linked

Don’t Go Wasting Your Emotion - 4/4, 17080 words summary:  Afterwards, he went around with his usual duties. Getting a quick roundabout from his PA, checking several sectors himself and looking through the thousands of messages already sent to him via ECHOs. Rhys was ready to finally take on the day, yet when he made his way to the office, he saw the unusual envelope right by the edge of his desk. “For Rhys” was written on it. Straightforward enough. Or Rhys gets a letter from a secret admirer. note: another multichapter fic!! this one also took some time and well. its inspired by ABBA songs. cause only I would write a Rhysothy fic inspired by ABBA

Ratchet Effect - 7130 words summary: Knowing just how much overworked Rhys has been, Timothy wants to let them have a nice getaway in Lazy River Land. There's only one problem to overcome - ratch infestation. note: first fic of 2021!! Ive been playing a lot of bl3 suring the writing of it so it has a lot of stuff I had observed both on Promethea and on Jackpot

Reflections - 2250 words summary: Sometimes, Timothy needs a reminder.

Tales AU - second most important timeline. it’s Tales but Tim is a part of the group. sorted chronologically

A Story For Another Day - ongoing, for now -  2/25, 15280 words Tales AU main fic. it’s gonna be a big one

Connection Interrupted - 3240 words summary: With his driving shift finished, Timothy checks up on Rhys and Vaughn's plans.

Completely Hopeless - 1040 words summary: In which Fiona notices that Rhys behaves differently in front of a certain doppelganger.

infinity times infinity times infinity - 3460 words summary: Rhys and Timothy share some dreams and secrets underneath the stars. note: the beautiful combination of Sleeping At Last and Minecraft parodies. I promise it makes sense

reality can be whatever I want - 11420 words summary: “Hey, Tim?” Timothy didn’t even spare him a look, “Are we alone, or is he there with you?” Oh, this definitely won’t be pretty.

After the confession of Handsome Jack's AI in his head and his plan to infiltrate Helios, Rhys needs to set things right with Timothy. Somehow. note: thanosdancing.gif to Backstreet Boys’ “I Want It That Way” 80′s remix and a guest appearance from Ferocity but I cant legally say her name here

still here - 2820 words summary: It all had to go down, after Helios crashed. note: I have...a love/hate relationship with this one kjdfbfg I like it but it’s honestly an alternate ending and doesnt fit within our usual bad ending, so take it with a grain of salt. i ten jebany błąd językowy w summary, kiedy ja go poprawię

together at last - 5590 words summary: It all struck him down in an instant, in this one minute. They were all safe. And they were all alive. Nothing was threatening neither him, nor Timothy, nor Fiona. He could finally breathe out.

They all found each other again. note: I am multitasking most time of my life but I dont relate any other fic to multitasking more than this one. I was honestly doing 10 things at once while writing this dfkjbndf

David AU - this one is a sub AU to Tales AU and the plot is kind of complicated dfjkbfb please check the fic for further explanation

building in curved lines - 22490 words summary: “To be fair, you look terrible. You’re barely standing in one piece and none of your coffees will hold you together for that long,” Lilith paused, seemingly weighing the correct words in her head. “You haven’t really been holding on since… We rescued The Double.” Rhys sighed heavily. Why did she have to be so right about everything. Or how Rhys and Timothy adjust to the reality after the Handsome Jack AI. note: bday gift for Spok, EASILY one of my absolute faves and the longest fic Ive written thus far

outside of AUs - some concepts I play with that are honestly outside any of our concrete timelines/concepts + fics not focused on Rhysothy

Real - 770 words summary: Reconciling with your past is a little easier, when you have someone you love right in your arms. note: first blands fic I’ve ever written. the characterization isn’t really there yet but as a first shot at the game and my kind of “introduction”, I am still satisfied of it

(Un)Familiar Faces - 9620 words summary: Timothy pursed his lips and leaned over the wall a little. He’s had enough of this solitude of closed doppelganger cabinet. Today wasn’t the day for another self-loathing session. Today, he should go off on Helios and do something for himself.

Or Timothy spends the night at a Helios bar. But not as Handsome Jack. And not as Timothy Lawrence either. note: personal favorite of mine, tough love letter to Timothy Lawrence. I have so many fond memories of writing this, including getting drunk out of my mind just like Tim and Rhys here

basics of survival - 2010 words summary: Athena taught Timothy everything he needed to know about survival. Now, it was time to put these skills into use. note: wrote this right before rona outbreak on last day in my dorms. thats all

[doctorguilty]

alright here’s how I’d rewrite Infinite and ergo some of the plot points of the games story.. it  got long i got a little carried away lol........................ 

Infinite’s name probably isn’t that before he becomes a tool of destruction thing but I don’t care all that much to name him something else rn 

he also doesn’t have a sword because that’s really not necessary and I don’t know how to make that relevant at all 

forget the mercenary thing because it makes no sense that he was “hired” by eggman and that’s also boring. The jackal squad is a nomadic, robin hood type group that steals from bad folks to help other animal people villages in need 

to make character relationships.. matter a little bit more, OC is a long time childhood friend of Infinite and they still see one another a decent amount despite the jackals moving around

I don’t really care how or why the phantom ruby exists in fact I’m just realizing there’s a huge discontinuity because according to the COMIC it just.. existed arbitrarily like a chaos emerald, but according to the GAME it seems to be something Eggman fabricated, since there’s “prototypes” in play??? hm hm okay you know what I’m feeling ambitious let’s make both make sense. There is one true phantom ruby that exists, eggman finds it, where ever I don’t care. some legend about, this ruby can bring your ultimate fantasies to life! EXCEPT you need to have, idk, a good heart, a heart of gold, to use it and eggman doesnt have that so he can see the illusion of his empire but it wont become reality 

eggman thinks okay well, maybe if I fabricate copies of it I can make a version that will work, which I reckon doesn’t make them “prototypes’ anymore but just, copies, but close enough. however, they still don’t work 

now cut to jackal squad raiding eggman for his cool shit. maybe they catch wind about this whole “bring your fantasies to life” power and want to use it for good and they know eggmans vibes are rancid. in any case the jackals make off with a ruby (a FAKE one uh oh!) but not without infinite losing an eye and gaining one big unsightly scar from a fight w/ eggman and he’s like Shook about that but he’s like hm well at least I stopped that terrible guy from harnessing this power (oh no bitch u thought..) 

of course the jackals dont keep their spoils but WHO ever could be trusted with this legendary gem thing?!? oh none other than You, Original The Character, aka Infinite’s best friend .............. so he gives the ruby to OC and tells them like, idk allegedly this can make ur dreams come true but I don’t know how it works...oh my eye? yeah I sure used to have two of those but dont worry about it, anyway ttyl stay fresh  *saunters off, jackaly* 

because the fake!ruby is.. fake, it just seems to be a dud at first so OC just hangs onto it as a keepsake 

eggman, pissed about his shit getting stolen and worried what could be done with it sends robots out to hunt down infinite, kidnap him, and drag him back to eggman’s base and demand the fake!ruby back. infinite naturally refuses to tell him anything especially at the cost of putting OC in danger, so he’s like, blow it out your ass

eggman is like HAHA WELL U DUMB SHIT you stole a fake anyway and I have the real one right here.. he uses the ruby to suddenly spawn a bunch of robots and infinite braces himself for the attack... except they go right through him because they’re just illusions. eggman is like FUCK !! DAMMIT! WHY WONT THIS SHIT WORK!! Infinite uses eggman’s tantrum time to rush in to snatch the ruby. when infinite touches it as its in eggman’s hand, however, all the illusion robots become “real” (probably conveying this through effects/opacity), taking them both by surprise. infinite is unable to take the ruby before getting hit with a full force attack from a robot 

infinite is incapacitated and eggman grins,  like, inch resting...................... you seem to be able to make the ruby work... I will now use you for malicious purposes >:) (cut to black) 

NOW when Infinite is in the tube, 1) he already has his mask because the scene with him putting it on and monologueing about abandoning his old identity is unnecessary, it’s more symbolic here, 2) he’s amnesic and I know we did that with shadow already and I don’t mean to overuse it, but I think it works well enough in a different way for this story! Shadow had some fragments of memories and an identity crisis, but with Infinite, his memory is completely wiped (or perhaps suppressed?) and his only understanding of himself is that he was “created” to work for eggman. Even MORE importantly! the stakes are raised because of Infinite’s relationship to the OC--Infinite cannot remember them which makes attacking them a lot more heart wrenching ESPECIALLY when we get to a point where OC begins to recognize their brainwashed best friend using one of the (apparently) very same rubies given to OC to try to destroy them with

this also adds more tension to all the scenes where Infinite is taunting and threatening OC on a quite personal , rivalry-like level? Infinite would, over time, begin to get an inexplicable sense of familiarity with OC, which causes him to hesitate and hold back 

oh and as for the fake!ruby, OC does use it to defend himself just like the first time! it ends up being successfully activated because OC shows a strong will to protect the other civilians. if you haven’t caught on to my cheese, both OC and Infinite have hearts of gold and thats why they can use the rubies. eggman is cheating though by fusing Infinite to the ruby and using him as a proxy for his bad will..... and again, coming back to the cheese, Infinite’s heart cannot be changed and he is not truly “evil” so that’s like, how this is working 

I’m way too lazy to fix everything scene by scene because there’s also just SO MUCH wrong with all the other characters and plot but I’m just focusing on fixing Infinite and making him more interesting so I’m skipping to the end..  

I’m not entirely sure how I’d order the bosses and what I’d wanna do with the eggman robot phases  the whole things was a big mess............I kinda wanna go with what I THOUGHT was going to happen after beating up giant robot thing and then that squid robot breaks out??? and I thought it was going to be Infinite cause that would be much more dramatic? So lets go with that---When Eggman says like, well fuck infinite who needs him? i harnessed the power of the ruby into my robot, he means he literally trapped Infinite in it like, wired up and shit to use him like a power generator. fucked up. Infinite breaks out after that phase of the battle, and he’s like, in so much pain and glitched out on overclocked energy he cant even control what he’s doing.... commence TRUE final boss battle (it can still be a tagteam with sonic), and it’s sad and dramatic! OC pleads (or I reckon sonic, maybe the other heroes too since they talk during fights! like since OC doesnt talk) infinite to remember his true self because they dont want to destroy him 

once you’ve depleted his health bar, I’m going to go ahead and use the game’s weird addition of quicktime events to fuel more cheesiness (B/C THIS IS SONIC...WHY DID THEIR “POWER OF FRIENDSHIP” MORAL END ON SUCH A BLAND, UNEMOTIONAL NOTE IN FORCES??? shadow didnt fall to his (alleged) death in sa2 for this..............) and you quicktime OC HUGGING Infinite, like jumping towards him and grabbing him in an embrace type of thing! and when OC makes contact with the ruby, it activates, making all the probably hostile glitchy  battle terrain or whatever dissipate, infinite stops being like.. idk lookin like he’s being electrocuted, and his mask fades away .. exposing Infinite as his true self once again 

the in between the lines intent here, again since OC doesn’t talk, is that OC’s fantasy was to bring Infinite back so they could be together again. you’re welcome to interpret that as romantic, or platonic, it doesn’t matter! it’s open ended! it’s just supposed to be cute!  

idk and then emotional stuff, I’m not entirely sure what it doesn’t really matter the idea is that Infinite is like, remorseful of what happened but everyone ofc forgives him because it’s not his fault , and then he joins up with with everyone to help fix the world! hmm I’m torn between Infinite keeping the true phantom ruby or giving it to the OC, like giving it to the OC makes sense, but for the sake of like, hypothetically bringing Infinite back in a future game and having special powers, it would be perfect if he kept it and that was his thing, he uses the power of virtual reality to help people and fight evil and whatever  

I dont know I guess there’s not a lot of sense in thinking too hard since I just remembered none of this is canon whatsoever and we’re probably not seeing Infinite again unless as a stock evil thing to beat up like metal sonic 8′) 

I have no idea who i wrote this for I guess myself! Idk if anyone else played forces or cares or w/e but! if you DO happen to be someone who read this and cares about it omg well like feel free to! comment and tell me what you think!!!  this was all very stream of thought

[arlakos]

Why Season 3 was a Rollercoaster of a mess. (Spoilers!)

 Oh boy

Oooooooh boy where do I even begin

Lets start from the beginning i Suppose

When Miraculous Ladybug first came out i fell in love with the series. I thought the premise was nice, the characters ok and the story interesting. Well, to be fair I didnt expect much of the story due to being in its first season, but I loved it. The finale was meh (the last episode, not the mid-series Origins story, I watched it on Netflix). I liked the series. I loved the fandom. And i Couldn’t wait for season 2 at the time.

Then season 2 came out

As i started watching the first ep of season 2, it started out strong, answered a question i already knew, but then... it didn't go any further. See, when I expected season 2, I expected the story to be taken up a notch, the plot to become stronger, new and interesting characters to be introduced, and for someone to replace Hawkmoth as the antagonist (bc in my mind, he always felt like a season 1 antagonist to be replaced one season later by the actual main antagonist, and the mayura leaks did not help). 

But it never came. The story remained simple and eventually started to become bland. All episodes were all single-story eps with no correlation to each other other than the characters in them. Every single character in the show that wasnt Marinette had any sort of character growth, and I could take any one of the episodes out other than the first and last two and it wouldn't have any impact. Maybe not all of them, but some.

(This was the same time I learned that all episodes in the series were meant to always be single episode storylines. It was the same time I learned the the shows creator was also an ASS-truc, but thats a story for another day)

So for season 2, I ended up starting to find the show boring and lackluster. Most of the episodes were boring and unentertaining, and aside from a select few, such as the finale, the new hero eps and a few others, the entire season was boring to heck. 

Worse still, Marinette went from an ok nice girl (who was at times a bit of an arse) to a stalker asshole who was at times worse than Chloe. 

(Then again, the first episode of the entire series literally had Marinette have a planner used to track Adrien's every move, so what the hell do i know)

The fandom, however, was still amazing at the time, so I stuck around. The fanfics were amazing at the time and the fandom was still so kind-hearted

Luckily for me, Season 3 would manage to have some much better episodes.

But at what cost.

WHAT. COST.

See, while Season 3 was undoubtedly better that season 2 overall in episode quality, this season was probably also the worst of all 3 at the same time. This season was not only the worst in overall season quality but the one that entirely ruined the fandom for me. The plot was again non-existent and there was still no character development, but they manage to make this season better by making a plotline that required all characters to be an idiot ball, then ditch it at the end just so Thomas could again insult people on twitter.

Lets start with the first episode of Season 3: Chameleon

Sometime before the production of season 2 and 3, Asstruc learned how to write someone as a martyr people would feel pity for that character and want to protect (read: stan) them.

So naturally, Ass-truc would abuse this a lot.

In the first ep of season 3, Astruc would create the worst episode ever made. 

The premise of the episode is that Lila has returned to school and has been telling lies, which makes Marinette mad. None of the class believes her due to everyone being written as an idiot (seriously the someone gotta has google on their smartphones everyone has), so of course, Naturally Mari confronts Lila, who swears to ruin her life before and after an akuma battle which doesnt really matter for this episode, aside from the fact that Lila fully works with hawkmoth because being a bad kid means that working with a terrorist is perfectly reasonable if you can get revenge on the good guys.

So, including the fact Ass-truc reintroduced Lila back into the show as a Chloe 2.0 to making everyone an idiot ball so that the writing could even work, this will be the episode that I will hate the most. And not just for the episode itself. We’ll come to that later. But the point is, this is how most of the season would go:

-Lila: *exists*

-Marinette: *cries* im suffering so much, my life is ruined!

-Fans: stan to the point of insanity

-Me sipping my salt flavored tea: b*tch calm the f*ck down.

Speaking of Marinette, the Miraculous team had already been hellbent on making Marinette more of an asshole, stalkery and creepy and passing it off as cute in season 2, so they decided to fix that by dialing all that shit up to 11. Episodes like Weredad and Oni-chan really showed this, with the former having Marinette Literally manipulating Chat Noir to be stuck in a bad situation just for her own sake, and latter literally having her try to break into Adriens house because Lila is there. All for the excuse that Lila is a Liar and totally not because she is with Adrien, Marinette cant be jealous because Marinetteisperfectandamazingand-

Yeah, she really sucks as the main character. TBH I'm waiting for the spinoff show where Alix and Kim dare each other to do stupid stuff each episode like its MTV’s Jackass, it's gonna be fun.

Now onto the Other episodes!

While I will admit that compared to season 2, there were a lot of good episodes. Gamer 2.0, Feast, Ikari Gozen, Party Crasher, and of course the heart-wrenching Oblivio come to mind. These episodes are amazing and show how good the episodes are when you make sure the garden gnome is locked in a closet somewhere during episode development.

So out of the 26 episodes, 5 of them were really good.

The rest were either kinda ok or complete shit. That's not to say they were all bad, but there were just some parts... at best there was either a part of it I found cringeworthy too much for me to consider it as one of the good ones, such as Pupetteer 2 with its Adrien Statue scene, or at worst all of it was just written so badly, such as the entirety of Stormy Weather not actually being an episode and acutally being just and episode recap.

Now for the plot. Oh, wait, what plot?

First of all, Miraculous never had one. At best it was just a bunch of single-episode stories that Ass-truc wants you to think are connected somehow and somehow all work together as a cohesive story. A lot of the characters in Miraculous Ladybug

You mean the overarching storyline where Marinette becomes a Guardian just because she can pick a hero? Yeah, just ignore the episode where Fu said he had to spend an entire childhood learning how to even be an apprentice Guardian, or ignore the fact that picking a person to be a hero doesn't make Marinette qualified to be Guardian in a slightest!

(If someone literally has to ask me this, ask yourself if a pharmacist is fit to be a doctor just because they hand out your meds.)

What about the storylines about other certain characters in the show like Lila, who the show has been building up to be a villain while casually destroying characters' intelligence to be able to do so? The story about Chloe accepting that she can’t really be a hero anymore and moving on?

Ruined by the Finale.

Oh yeah, the finale.

This season Finale was probably the worst finale out of all the seasons and half the stuff done in the last two episodes did not make sense. I dont want to talk about it much because I want to do a blog post about it later on, but for the sake of the finale, they ruined a bunch of characters, martyred Marinette for the 100th time, and created some stupid plot ideas for the sake of coolness. And by coolness i mean stanning Marinette again and making her extra special. Doesnt matter if it makes a contradiction or makes no sense. Stupidity has won this episode!

To be fair though, all the reasons above aren’t the reasons I hate this season. 

No.

The reason for season 3 being the worst for me is how it had ruined the fandom.

Ever since the first episode of season 3, the fandom has become a cesspool of salt and anger. Character bashing because the class didn't straight up agree with Marinette instantly, Over the top Marinette stanning, fanfics that go over the top crazy, it has gone insane. On ao3 most fanfics of ML that i have seen have been about ‘Chameleon Fix-Its’ where Lila is metaphorically shot with a GAT, ‘Marinette protection Squads’ which basically involve her moving schools because Lila exists, and the Maribat ship that has made my head dent my desk (seriously where the fuck did it come from?!). Worst still, as a result of Season 3, the Adrien hate has started to go crazy as a result of the Chameleon episode and similar eps resulting in Marinette being shipped with Luka (aka the better Adrien as stated by Marinette stans), Felix before the Felix episode dropped, and even Damien Wayne in the Notorious Maribat ship (no seriously where did it come from i want answers!). To put it simple, thanks to Ass-truc all of ao3 is filled with salt fics and no more original and interesting stories.

BTW while i have your attention and am talking about good Miraculous stories on ao3, go read Miraculous Tales by JED1 on AO3 its soo damn good.

To be fair, I myself am angry at the episode, but only because everyone was written to be an idiot ball for the episode to work, and because of the fact Astruc used the episode to rile up the fandom to be almost as toxic as him.

If anything, its the number one reasons why i hate seasons 3 and the reason why it has ruined the fandom for me.

And that, overall, is why i think Season 3 was a Rollercoaster of a mess.

[woshuaaa]

spoilers for BL3

i made some fixes for what i thought were weak points in-game. they personally made sense to me, feel free to tell me what yall think??

Maya, Ava and Krieg.

You meet maya on Athenas, and at some point along the way, she sidetracks a bit. 

“I have to go find my… friend. Yeah, lets call him that. He should be near the cemetery.”

You get to the cemetery where you’re greeted by the mountain of a psycho known as Krieg. He’s screaming about poop trains or ribcages or something along those lines.

“This is Krieg, he and I were crimson raiders a few years back.” “RIDING DEATH BOMBS TOGETHER!” “Speaking of which, Krieg, where’s Ava? You were supposed to keep an eye on her. In the library.” “RRRRGHGHH CONSTRAINTS OF A SKULL SPLITTER!” “I warned you Krieg. If she gets hurt it’s your fault. Come on vault hunter, this way.”

You continue through the rest of the mission as normal, but now there’s an extra occupant in maya and ava’s room. 

Upon killing the rampager, Ava shows up again, with Krieg trailing behind. Krieg could be less than interested and is just tossing rocks around.

You exit the vault and catch Maya scolding Krieg for not keeping Ava on the ship like she asked. Tyreen and Troy show up, and assume Krieg is just another psycho. “Hey there follower! You did good, capturing the Vault Thief and an extra siren! Should make you Eridium tier for that. You’ll be rewarded when we open the great vault.” Kreig cocks his head to one side in confusion, but for once is silent. 

Tyreen gets Ava by the throat and Maya has Troy in a chokehold, and Krieg is clearly confused on what to do as he looks back and forth between the two rapidly. Troy reaches up and grabs maya, and Krieg goes into a bloodlust, screaming and charging at Troy full speed. “Troy!” Tyreen shouts, dropping ava to rush to her brothers aid. When Krieg tackles Troy, maya drops, tattoos gone, and makes her way over to Ava. Troy and Tyreen get a grip on Krieg, with Troys robot arm wrapped around Kriegs neck. “Rule number one, follower: never betray the family.” Tyreen sneers through gritted teeth as she begins to drain krieg. “Krieg!” Maya screams, and she tries to run toward them, when Tyreen uses an energy pulse to send them flying back further. 

“Maya…. I.. love… you…” Krieg says as his eyes glaze over, and he turns into a husk, which quickly falls into a pile of dust. “No! Krieg!” Maya cries, tears streaming down her face. “Well, that takes care of that. Oh, eugh, ew, i think I got some psycho dust in my mouth, eugh, ew!” tyreen says, gagging. “Atlas! Ty, we gotta go!” Troy says, grabbing his sisters arm. They phase away as a squad of Atlas troops storm the vault, seeing nothing more than the three.

“Krieg…” Maya says sadly. 

“There’s nothing we could do, Maya. Lets get back to Santcuary.” Moze says.

“I know he meant a lot to you Maya, but we have to get out of here.” Amara says.

“He was a good hunter, but his time has come. We will mourn on Sanctuary.” Fl4k says.

“It’s sad lass, but there’s nothing we can do for him now. Let’s get you back to the ship.” Zane says.

>Upon rejoining Lilith on the bridge.

“Oh no, Maya, Tyreen got you too?” “Not Tyreen, it was that Troy douchebag.” Ava says. Maya can’t bring herself to speak. “Krieg… They killed him.” Ava says, staring down at her shoes. 

“Damn. I’m sorry Maya. I knew how close you two were. He was a psycho, but a good one at that. I can tell you for sure that he’s riding the shiniest of meat bicycles up in the stars, eh?” Lilith says, trying to comfort maya.

>After the mission is complete, maya has a side mission available.

“Krieg was one of the best of us, vault hunter, and I want to honor him as best I can. Can you head down to Pandora and see if he left any echo logs?”

Here you can find a few logs mentioning how he feels about maya semi-sanely. Maya seems to be oblivious to the clues that Krieg liked her, until you get to the end of the cave where there’s an echo next to a small box. 

“Maya. You’re the most beautiful woman I’ve ever had the pleasure of meeting. 

Your the tink to my turret, the bullet in my mag, the sister to.. My brother? Agh no that..that came out wrong. What I’m trying to say is… will you ride this meat bicycle with me, and be my wife?” The box opens, revealing a poorly made ring made of scrap steel. “Well, what did you find?” Maya asks. 

“Ill show you up on the ship.” the vault hunter responds. Upon returning to sanctuary, you meet up with maya in her quarters. “What is it you needed to show me vault hunter?” The vault hunter places the ring box on the table and the echo plays for maya, and the box opens on cue. 

“Oh Krieg, you crazy, beautiful bastard you.” Maya says, on the brink of tears. “Thank you for doing this, vault hunter. It means… it means a lot to me.” She pays you and you get a legendary grenade mod called Kriegs buzz axe, that turns your grenades into a buzz axe that gets hurled at enemies. It has red text that says “IM THE CONDUCTOR OF THE POOP TRAIN!”

The next time you see Maya on Sanctuary, she’s wearing the ring Krieg made on a chain around her neck.

Gaige the Siren

“Hey killer. I’ve gotten word that another former raider is in trouble. I need you to go down and check on her, will ya?”

>Player goes down to pandora and meets Gaige and Deathtrap, who are in the middle of an assault. Pain and Terror get ahold of her during the assault, and she’s to be sacrificed to the twins as an offering. During the last third of the fight against the Agonizer 9000, she ~somehow~ (Hint: siren powers) manages to free herself and summon Deathtrap, and helps you finish off the fight. 

“Thanks for helping me out there, VH. Man, I must be getting rusty on my badassery. I’ll meet you up on Sanctuary, hey?”

>Continue through the game as normal, along with some additional bits with Gaige catching up with Zero and Maya, and mourning the loss of Krieg. 

“Hey, you didn’t think I’d let you fight those assholes alone, didja?” Gaige says she’s coming down to help you fight Troy. “Gaige, you cant-” “Lilith, Imma be real with ya for a sec, and uh, no. Im going, and you can’t fuckin stop me. Kay? Kay.” “If you’re going, I’m coming down too. That douchebag killed Krieg, and I can’t… I can’t risk losing you too.” Maya says, and she clearly isn’t backing down. “I’m the leader of the raiders, and I’m not letting you two kill yourselves down there.” Lilith says, frustrated. 

You go down to the cathedral of the twin gods, and Maya and Lilith say theyll meet you there. Gaige helps you fight through the bandit hoards.

“You’re too late vault thief! Tyreen and I are opening the great vault, you cant stop us now!” Gaige taps on Troys shoulder, and he turns around. “Guess again, jackass.” Gaige slugs him in the face with her metal arm, and there it is revealed that she has blue tattoo’s travelling up her arm and shoulder on the left side, same as her metal arm. As she punches him, her white siren wings appear behind her, and a title card pops up introducing her as “Gaige: the Siren: (whaaaaaat?)”

Gaige helps you out throughout the fight, occasionally summoning deathtrap and using phase shift (“Excuting Phaseshift, BITCHES!”)  to allow small turrets to pop up along with ammo boxes.

At the end of the fight, Lilith and Maya appear, and as Troy dies, Maya regains her powers back. 

“Gaige, when were you gonna tell us about this?” Lilith demands. “Well ya see, when… Y’know with the whole laying-low thing, I… okay look I know this seems bad, but I couldn’t figure out a good time. I didn’t even know what was happening, and it didn’t happen right away! A few years later, when I was off planet and trying to figure out my next move one day and bam! There they were.” “But the question is, how?” “Angel and I… talked. We liked to talk. Its not like anything personal, but it was nice. She was my first friend, and… I-I didn’t want anything to happen to that.” “So angel chose you?” Maya asks. “No, I-I don’t think so anyways.” “Maya what are you talking about?” Lilith asks. “Before a siren passes, it’s said that she must choose an apprentice, someone to pass her powers onto, and if she doesnt, her powers will just play the genetic lottery. The bond you two had must’ve meant something to Angel too, and she chose you to carry her powers.” Gaige looks at the tattoo’s on her arm and shoulder with newfound meaning. 

Gaige is significantly more impacted by the Childhoods End quest, for obvious reasons.

Gaige continues to play the role that Tannis did.

Liliths death.

(to clarify, i really think it’s time for lilith to give up her role. she’s been the main focus in 2/3 games now, and i personally think that its time for her to step down and go out in a truly badass way.)

“It feels nice to have these powers back. Like greeting an old friend.” Lilith says. “Hey uh guys? I don’t think we’re in the clear yet! Elpis is still tearing pandora apart!” Gaige yells. 

“Run towards the fire.” Lilith looks over at Ava and Maya. “Be ready Ava.”

“Lilith, what are you doing?” “Lilith, no!” Maya and Gaige plead with lilith, but she ignores them and takes off soaring towards Elpis.

“What the hell is she doing?!” Maya yells.

“She’s closing the great vault.” Ava responds.

“Is she insane? That’ll kill her!” Gaige cries.

“That’s the idea.” Ava looks up at lilith as she reaches elpis. 

Lilith phases Elpis away, leaving behind her insignia.

“She’s dead… She’s really dead.” Maya says sadly. “Not quite. She’s still lighting the way.” Ava says.

Ava suddenly doubles over and begins to float. “Ava? Ava what the hell is going on?!” Gaige shouts. A sudden burst of energy comes from Ava, revealing the bright orange wings of the Firehawk, paired with the tattoo’s now running down Ava’s arm.

“Those tattoo’s suit you, Ava.” Maya says, resting a hand on Ava’s shoulder. “She chose right, I can say that much.” Gaige says with a gentle smile. “C’mon Guys, let’s get back to the ship.” Gaige says, making her way out of the vault. Maya follows, and as Ava goes to leave, she turns back around, looking up at the Blazing Phoenix above her head. “Thanks, Lilith.” Ava says softly. “Ava, cmon!” Maya shouts. “Coming!” Ava quickly runs back to catch up to the others.

[weareallfallengods]

Survival

Writing prompt:

If you’re over 25 and haven’t done something remarkable, you are hunted down and killed. Some people invent things. Some make cures for diseases. Others become established members of their community. You’re pushing 30, and somehow not dead yet, even though you cant think of a single thing you’ve done thats remarkable in any way. Why aren’t you dead?

I write for adults about adult themes with adult language. I try to tag possible triggers (but I know I'm not going to get all of them), so if violence or implied death or cussing bothers you, you'll probably want to find a different author.

********************************************

Somehow, that date came up again. Not quite sure how, but somehow, the number circled on my shitty wall calendar with the coffee splatter on it managed to be today. Again. It's been doing that for 5 years now.

At first I wanted to be a surgeon- save people's lives, make a difference, all that shit. Yeah, I was caught up in the hype for a while too. Just like everyone. Thought I'd make some ground-breaking discovery and change the world. Just like everyone. And then, at 22, I flunked out of med school. That was it. Dream over, kaput, fin.

When I opened my termination letter, it was like reading a death sentence. 10 years of prep and study down the drain. 3 years left. 3 years, and no idea what to do. No clue what I could do to save my own life after all those years learning how to save others.I drank for a solid month. I dont even remember that month now. My only memento from it is an entire skip of liquor bottles. It's a miracle I didn't die from alcohol poisoning. Not that I didn't try.

See, I was afraid. Scared, actually. Terrified would be more accurate, if I'm honest. I knew I only had 3 years left until they came for me. Unless I managed to do something extraordinary within the next 3 years, they'd come for me, and the only thing that would remain is a 2 paragraph obituary in the local paper, followed by a vacancy announcement. When you're suddenly forced to confront your own imminent demise, and see every dream, hope and aspiration you'd had evaporate, right in front of your eyes, its perfectly natural to drown that in a swimming pool of vodka.

But then, after a month of drowning, and a week of curing a hangover that would make Satan shudder, I got angry. Like Bruce Banner angry. As I was leaving an all night diner, the notice board caught my eye. Having nothing better to do with my life, I stood there for a while just reading every single card in detail, every single lost cat, every used car, every 5k charity run. And then I saw it. And I thought, "You know what? Fuck it, why not. I've spent all this time trying to do one thing that I've never actually done just whatever I feel like, had hobbies, anything really. Why the fuck not."

And that's how I ended up 2 days later in some shity warehouse district, rolling around on a mat with some dude I didnt even know, sweating and swearing profusely and having the time of my life. "Sasha's Self Defense" it said on the small, weathered and rusted sign on the brick wall out front, next to a door that looked like it had been transported straight from the proverbial gulag.

I'd naively thought this was going to be one of those Karate Kid knock offs for some reason when I first arrived. Sasha soon disabused me of that notion. In fact, when he saw I'd brought a new gi in a duffle bag, he laughed so hard he had to slap his ass down on a rickety folding chair just to keep breathing. Once he calmed his mirth at my expense, he let me know in a no-nonsense, 'I'm an old-timer and seen some shit in my day' heavily accented tone that this would be a class that focused on survival at all costs. "No bullshit wax on-wax off," were his exact words I believe.

And boy was he right. When I told him I'd set aside my year's tuition for lesson payments, well, wouldn't you know it, I became his most prized pupil; I quickly learned this was not a good thing. It meant 14 hours a day of the most humiliatingly punishing activity ever dreamed up by Moscow's Finest. I couldnt even move the morning after my first day. But somehow I limped my battered frame down to the bus stop and was only an hour late. Ha, only. Sasha seemed to take it as a personal insult. The only thing he hated less than sloppiness was tardiness it seemed. Apparently the 10th Circle of Hell was reserved for those who dared be late. And he made you earn your way out of that circle.

His only saving grace was fairness. If I had to suffer, at least I wasnt alone. Well, at first anyway. The few other students that suffered his wrath along side me doing slavic folk dances with wrist and ankle weights very quickly learned that this wasn't the type of class they had thought it was and soon I was alone with Sasha.

On the days I did well, I got treated to pierogies. Oh man, I lived for those pierogies. They were made by angels and served by someone I can only describe as if Jesus came back as a woman. Who was Russian. And spoke even less english than Sasha, if that was possible. His sister was as completely opposite to that sadistic maniac as it was possible to be and still be a human being. Where he was loud, she was soft. Where he was tough, she was gentle. Where he was strict, she was generous, even indulgent. Blonde to his brunette. Slim to his barrel chest. Cousin by marriage, I think they said. Well, relatives of some kind anyway. And she was the only one who could make him laugh. And when he laughed, the whole block knew! He was just that loud, that boisterous, with everything he did.

But I loved his little Anya. Just like everyone. But like in a wholesome, mom-ish kind of way. I loved her because I got to sit for an hour when she was around. Because she"d always tuck a to-go container of pierogies into my bag. Because she'd chide Sasha for pushing me too hard. In short, she was an angel.

But I have to hand it Sasha- in 4 months, he took a scrawny bookworm into someone who could pose for Men's Health. In 6 months, I could beat Ivan, his partner, in 5/10 sparring matches. In 7 months, I ran a marathon. In 9, he had me enter a triathalon. And I made it into the top 50 out of 500 entrants. Not too bad if I say so myself. In 12 months, I was beating Ivan almost every time.

And that's when the other Ivan showed up. After a year, Sasha decided it was time I learned weaponry. After all, no real fight was fair, he said. And Ivan (another cousin? Sasha had one heck of an extended family) instructed me on everything from broken beer bottles, to knives and pool cues. And my medical training paid off, because more often than not, I was the one stitching myself up if training got a little rough that day.

Eventually, I moved into the gym. Not sure how it happened, but I think I just got too tired to leave one day and never really left. Sasha didnt seem to mind since it meant I wasnt ever late again. Plus the coffee he imported was the best thing ever. Like it was so good that's probably the Extraordinary Thing he did to live as long as he had.

The days just melted together, into one long symphony of beautiful exhaustion and physical torment, as I poured myself into the first activity I could remember doing purely because I wanted to, something that numbed the dread of the finality of my life expectancy.

But then one day, one specific day, the one I'd been dreading in the back of my mind for a year came around.

They found me.

I guess they were a little slow in finding me, not surprising since I'd basically just disappeared from my old life, no forwarding address type thing. It wasnt intentional, it just sort of happened, what with me diving head first into something purely for me, without the thought of doing it for someone else. But they found me. Just like they find everybody.

See, it doesnt matter if you try to run, if you move, or change your name. They always find you eventually. I just hadn't thought about it in a long while. That year was the first time since I was probably 14 that I'm hadn't thought about the Gardeners. I guess that's why it surprised me so much.

Yeah, Gardeners. I dont know who came up with the name, in guess some misguided attempt at a positive PR spin bullshit to pass off squads of government assassins who's only job was to track down the NCs of the world and eliminate them. Sorry, NCs- Non-Contributors; the people who hit their expiration date without doing something noteworthy, something that was deemed to "advance or bolster the Human Condition" to borrow a phrase from the civics classes we had to take every fucking year of school. A cutesy sounding name that was supposed to make the government sound like a benevolent old couple pulling weeds from their garden of humanity. The worst lies always sound the sweetest, dont they?

And I was now 25.

It happened a few weeks after my birthday. Just another routine day for me, going for a light 5k run after my soak in a mineral bath. Light rain, most of the streetlights out, the few lights on in the warehouse district reflected beautifully off the streets. That's why I ran at night, all the colors changed that normally bleak neighborhood into something beautiful. It was just one little thing to balance out the harshness of reality, and I reveled in it.

I don't actually remember what happened exactly. I do recall seeing a suspiciously conspicuous homeless guy huddled under a loading dock awning, and then just a flash of movement from the corner of my eye. I think it happened really quickly; at least that's what Sasha said the next morning as he was making arrangements for me to visit another cousin of his "back in the old country". It could have been. God, after seeing the bodies around me in the aftermath, I hope, for their sake, that it was fast. 5 bodies. All still. I still remember my breath turning to blue fog, blurring the details of them. Helping me to be able to pretend I didn't see the blood mixing with the rain and oil, spreading out over the concrete like a macabre inversion of the cloudy sky above.

I'm glad they wore masks. It's bad enough having that scene burned into my brain forever, without specific people's faces being etched there as well. I'm glad I dont see their faces in my mind every time I close my eyes. I just wish I could still enjoy the rain. They managed to take that from me, even if I'm still breathing, so I guess they didnt completely fail. They just killed a part of my soul instead. But hey, there's plenty of people that don't like the rain, right? But I bet they don't smell blood when it does though.

And that was pretty much it. No sirens, no manhunt, nothing. Before I could process what was happening, I was on a bus, headed for "the old country", which, as near as I could tell, looked an awful lot like Pittsburg. Sasha's 'cousin' met me at the bus depot there, a man of very few words. Not as loud as his cousin, Zhena tended to communicate with looks, grunts and shrugs mostly. Same work ethic though.

And then the cycle repeated- 14 months this time before they caught up with me. Too bad that Zhena got caught up in it, he was a great guy. He and I didn't really become close or buddies or anything, but it still hurt to see what happened to him. To what was left of him anyway. The Gardeners definitely were trying to send a message with that. To quote an old wise man, "I didnt want to know, but now I do, and I'm telling you, you dont want to know." And that's coming from someone who was training to become a surgeon, so just trust me on this one.

This time, they were waiting for me. I think they'd planned on Zhena being enough of a distraction that they'd be able to take me out easily, but since since I woke up the next day on the floor of the sparring ring in a too large pool of blood that wasnt my own, I'd say they failed. The difference this time was I was on my own. No 'cousins' to call in favors from. No family I could call because I didnt want them getting a visit from the Gardeners either. I was alone this time.

Weirdly, I was actually OK with that. I'd been surrounded by family, teachers, advisors, tutors for so long that solitude was actually kind of nice. I could hear myself think my own thoughts for the first time in what seemed like forever.

I'm not ashamed to say that I took what little of value there was from Zhena's gym (I knew him well enough to know that Sasha was his only family) so that I could get a seedy hotel for a while. I did at least have the decency to let Sasha know, and that that would be the last he ever heard from me, to keep him out of trouble. Bad enough that 10 people were already dead, I didn't want Sasha or Anya's name added to that list because of me.

And so I vanished. Completely. Sure I travelled, kept studying and training like I had been, but never staying longer than a few months, never using the same name, copying other random people's habits and patterns so I didnt have one of my own for them to track down. Yeah it was cliche, but hey, I figured my dad watching all those spy flicks when I was young had to be good for something, right?

Sometimes I was a baker, sometimes a delivery driver, even a dock hand. Whatever it took to make a buck so I could eat.

I got really good at other things too. Like disposing of bodies. Not really a skill I ever thought I'd want or need, but Necessity is a harsh and demanding teacher. Sadly, my skill as a surgeon came in handy- bodies are easier to get rid of when they're in smaller pieces. And people are easier to turn into bodies when you know how they're put together intimately. Not what I had in mind for my life, but since it was the choice between this or dying, well, I guess I can put up with it.

I suppose that catches us all up to the present, more or less. OK yeah theres a lot that's gone down between Pittsburg and now, but it was all pretty much the same: lather, rinse, repeat. Literally sometimes. Those were the days it felt like there wasnt enough soap in the world to get all the blood off.

So here I am, I'm my single room in Kandahar, staring at the date that had somehow come up again. Every year, they send someone. Usually a team. And I survive. No matter how they come at me, or when or how many. I survive.

And I'm sitting here, staring at the calendar, steaming cup of espresso, just staring, as a light breeze fluttered the corner of the calendar page, sending the orchids dancing in the vase next to it. All I could think is, "How? How does this keep happening? I'm not even supposed to be here, not supposed to be alive."

As I raised my cup of espresso, something slid under my door. "OK that's weird," I said aloud as I stood.

The chair made an ungodly screech as I pushed it back and made my way over to where a small, cream colored envelope sat on the floor, a couple inches from the bottom of the door. It was heavy for it's size, but not because anything was in it, just the paper was that thick. Probably hand-made. It's odd the little things you notice in times of stress. Heavy, rough paper, no postmark, nothing written on the outside, just the flap tucked in, not even sealed. Reminded me of how my mother used to give out birthday cards. I always thought that was a little weird, but it was just one of her quirks that made her even more endearing to everyone.

I sat down a little heavier than I had planned and felt the chair crack a little. There was a single sheet of paper inside, folded in half; I was right- handmade paper. But that wasnt important, what was important was the heavy, blocky hand-written message it contained.

"We've been looking for you for a long time. It has come to my attention that you may have something unique to contribute after all. We may have been too hasty in judging your Ability to be a Contributor. I believe you do actually have a remarkable Ability to Survive. I'd like to speak to you this afternoon in the plaza outside the Blue Mosque. I will be alone, and you can approach me, so as to allay your justifiable suspicions. I will have a silver coffee set on the table in front of me.

I believe we can help each other, if you're willing to listen to my proposition.

-Soon,

Baddar"

Well, this is interesting.

[episodeshadow]

ok im still letting a lot of the game sink in and while i had a genuinely good time playing forces theres a couple things i just gotta get off my chest as criticisms.

spoilers under the cut

ok so gameplay wise, i liked it! especially custom hero and tag team stages. modern sonics stages were almost as good, but there were times when reactions wouldn’t happen, or trying to turn was less responsive, he just felt a little too loose and slippery, but still pretty good. the classic stages were alright but after playing some of mania they just felt kinda eh :/

ok

one thing that bothers me is how tails was written... he’s depicted as helpless and can’t fight back, completely ignoring how capable he is.  in sa2 when he thinks sonic is dead his reaction is to fight eggman more determined than ever because sonics not there so he has to act alone.  in forces.. well knuckles says that he lost it a little but its not really said what.. but he isnt helping the resistance.  tails would have been at the forefront of the war effort with knuckles amy and the rest but instead hes off doing god knows what because?? and i know if he really thought sonic was dead it would be a lot for him to handle but i dont think the way they portray him accurately represents that. he only comes back when he finds classic. and anytime he is approached by an enemy he only ever cowers away even though its established he is very capable of defending himself in a fight. i dont feel like this game did any favors for tails. :/

also.. why is classic there? like story wise it just didnt feel like his presence was a big point in the plot, overall tails and classics little side story felt like just that - a side story that didnt quite gel w the rest of the story.  he was added to appeal to the 2d sonic fans but i feel like that wasnt necessary.. we just got mania, and if they hadn’t tried to shoehorn him in the dev team couldve spent more time working on modern sonic and custom hero’s gameplay and really adding depth.  instead, we get classic gameplay that feels just a bit too lackluster and modern gameplay that, while enjoyable, felt a little too shallow.

and thats another point i wanna make, is time.  the whole game feels rushed, both plot-wise and game-play wise.  the game itself is not long, i cant remember how many hours it took but it was not many, the stages were all. pretty short. it would have been cool to see a few more locations maybe? and more variety of boss fights or at least showing up in the stage. like why add chaos in the game and then not use them at all.  shadow wasnt a boss fight but he got his dlc so. metal and zavoks fights were ok too. they just. couldve done more. theres only so much story/cutscenes, with the passage of time just shown as text.  it doesnt really let the player feel  the consequences.  oh sonic spent six months in prison? its fine tho here he is again five seconds and one cuscene later.  it wouldve been stronger if we got to see at least a little bit of what happened in those six months.  how battles were lost. its implied a lot of people died, and while they likely wouldnt have shown that, they could have depicted the struggle.  the heroes fighting against eggman but without sonic they find themselves outmatched and caught off guard for the first time, and they tell themselves its ok its just one battle.  But slowly, over time, they win less and less, they see more and more people in terror realizing that this man who they saw as just a ridiculous scientist whos always defeated is suddenly a much more real threat.  We are told that 99% of the world is conquered by Eggman, but I don’t know if it’s just me, but it’s kind of hard to see that.  I just think it would be easier to get emotionally invested and really feel the sense of danger and urgency if we could actually get to see what led up to the point they were at.  They were all inside one bunker.  How did the whole planet become under an iron grip of Eggman that there were hardly any safe places to group?  I also can’t help but feel like the world was “reclaimed” too quickly.. all you had to do was take out the base and the whole area was free again? was the base the only thing that eggman had there? sure you take out enemies in the area but somehow it doesnt feel quite so impactful.  Although i will admit they do acknowledge this during the end, how the effort isn’t over and theres still a lot or work to be done.

likewise, theres just a lot of elements in the game that seem like they are supposed to be dramatic but don’t carry a lot of weight because they were not given time to stew... sonic was thought to be dead for six months but we don’t see them struggle without him and he seems just fine when he comes out of the prison; he’s ready to jump right back into action.  you could have just said he went on a space vacation and the effect would be essentially the same.

then theres the episode shadow dlc, where infinites “backstory” comes up.  we are told that infinte is a mercenary and was working for eggman, as a part of his army?? he was defending eggmans base, the rest of his squad had already been taken out by shadow.  shadow beats up infinite, infinite gets pissy bc he lost and decides hes not gonna be weak anymore, wears a mask and has the ruby.  Why did he react like this? He yells out that he’s not weak, almost like a mantra, even though Shadow never specifically called him that, just worthless and pathetic (damn, Shadow, chill).  Had he been called weak before? A problem he was already dealing with and Shadow just drove him over the edge? We don’t know. Actually, there’s a lot of stuff we don’t know about Infinite. He’s a guy, he was weak but then he wasn’t, and ? That’s it, the game doesn’t divulge anything about the Jackal Squad, we don’t know where Infinite came from, and we don’t even get to see his face in-game.  Although it could be argued that they left his story vague on purpose so that we could all apply our own theories, but.. there’s just so little to go on.  It’s hard for me to come up with specific questions because there’s hardly anything there to ask about.  

that was the main issue with me, everything was rushed.  i think i was expecting the game to go a lot deeper than it did.  Forces seemed to just gloss over a lot of the kind of details that would have made the story so much more gripping and worth getting emotional over.  Instead it felt more like going over a bulleted list of events; the cover summary instead of the novel.  Maybe I was expecting too much but I do think that they had a lot of potential that just wasn’t used to the best it could have been.  The story was there, it just, needed to be fleshed out a lot more. I’m sure there’s some plot holes too but I can’t remember off the top of my head.  Basically, I was hoping there would be... more.

ok thats what i wanted to say, i know im forgetting things and i dont know that any of that made sense but i just wanted to express the things i felt could have been done better/ be improved... i enjoyed the game despite all these things though and now that i typed up this lil mini essay im free to focus on the positives! :)

[fan-art-ic]

 ((@silverkitsune​ tumblr wont let me reply so i have take a screenshot like some kind of animal))

Alrighty so there is:

Captain Jewels, CC-6859. HIs name comes from that he has a genetic mutation making his eyes blue and a trainer said his eyes looked like jewels. He’s a commander clone, but when his Jedi General’s padawan showed up he had to be officially demoted (I’m not sure if clones can be commanders if there are padawans so). Unofficially, Jewels and the padawan work together as commander, sharing the work equally. Off-duty he is pretty laid-back, kind of a “don’t do any property damage and don’t kill anyone and i dont care” clone. on active duty (not even on the field) he’s strict and will not tolerate any bullshit. on the field it’s that but 1000% more intense. (in general he 110% always needs a drink)

More under the cut

Lieutenant Spice, CT-7890. His batch was an experiment to try to turn pain receptors (congenital insensitivity) off because if you can’t feel pain you’re able to keep going past ordinary limits. Spice was the only clone the experiment worked on (not completely though, if he got really burned or his hand was chopped off then he could feel it), but not without the side effect of amped up dopamine production, which is how he got his name. He was the only one of his batch not culled for defects. Due to extremely close monitoring on Kamino and being the only survivor of the experiment, Spice is terrified of the Kaminoans and has a really deep-seated hatred for people who experiment on living things (whether it be animals or sentients)

Lieutenant Ringer, CT-4965. He got his name from the fact that he loves to wear hoop earrings and rings whenever off-duty. He’s kind of like the therapist of the 604th bc any clone can go talk to him and just have a bitch fest with him for hours and really unload and get good advice. And because clones were never banned from being in commercials (well until Ringer), Ringer did a cosmetic holo-vid because a Space Sephora realized how amazing clones look with eyeliner.

Clone Medic Inquire, CT-4968. He’s batchmates with Ringer and thus super close with him. He got his name because he was always asking questions as a cadet (the tattoo on his left temple is actually a question mark in galactic basic). Just wouldn’t shut-up. It got him in trouble a lot because soldiers aren’t supposed to question orders, but once he switched to the medic track it got his bonus points because if you don’t ask questions the patient might die. Ironic as it is, but while Inquire is super over-protective of his brothers and gets on their cases about staying safe and getting treated right away, he’ll dive headfirst into danger to help and after battle he’ll ignore his own wounds for hours, one time even days, to patch up wounded clones. Ringer, for all the chill that he is, will get super pissed about Inquire’s self-sacrificial ass. 

Sergeant Siege, CT-391. He was on the 1st battle of Geonosis, which is where he got his name. Despite the fact that he’s one of the oldest clones left, he 1) never made it past sergeant because he can’t think in larger terms and 2) is immature most of the time (it’s pretty much a coping mechanism at this point). Because he’s been around so long, if a clone needs battle-related advice, or advice with a more serious tone, they’ll go see Siege. And when on leave, if a clone doesn’t want to go to 79′s or stay in the barracks, Siege is the go-to clone because he knows all the best (and safe) places a brother could go.

Sergeant Jag, CT-5032. No one knows how he got his name because everyone who was with him dead (Jag would be happy to tell his brothers how if he could only remember). He’s actually dating his padawan commander as the Pantoran really doesnt give a shit about the Code and the general turns a blind eye b/c it’s war-time. it’s a huge power imbalance which makes older/higher-ranking clones (not Siege who was actually his wing-man) skeptical and kind of protective of Jag, but they make it work. He really cares about his squad and would probably (definitely) kill anyone that threatens them even if they aren’t a Seppie. Within the officers he’s kind of like the kid brother, but he’s a complete mother-hen with his little brothers squad. 

Glint, CT-7779. In Jag’s squad, Flow Squad. Got his name like Jewels; he has a genetic mutation making his eyes green. He was the first clone to have green eyes, so before clones started really individualising themselves, he was somewhat ostracized and teased by his brothers and trainers (all of this making him really paranoid of people who are genuinely nice to him). (Side note: Glint, for a really long time saw his eyes as something to be ashamed of, while Jewels embraced his blue eyes because it made him stand out from other clones which is good for commanders.) Now that he’s off Kamino and around clones that all change some aspect of themselves, he’s able to try relaxing.

Aspen, CT-6502. In Jag’s squad. Aspen should actually be a sergeant because he’s really good tactically on the field, but isn’t because he passes every time a promotion comes up. He’s really struggling to even handle being a trooper and living, he doesn’t think he’d have the ability to take care of a whole squad (which is why Glint would be acting sgt. if Jag died on the field). The whole left side of his face and some of his side is burned badly due to his first squad’s gunship being shot down and exploding during battle. He struggles with a deathstick addiction and while deep down he does truly care, he’s really apathetic and it’s hard for him to care beyond the required mission.

Riff and Raff, CT-4985 and CT-4986. They are tubemates and got their name from a trainer calling them riff raff. They’re somewhat pranksters and like to break the tension and help their brothers calm down and relax. Riff has a tattoo for Isk (galactic basic ‘i’) while Raff has a tattoo for Aurek (’A’), both have it on the left side of their neck. They kept the standard haircut and even as clones, are practically indistinguishable from each other (Jewels made them paint their armor differently so he’d be able to identify them on the field). They border unhealthily codependent as they work extremely well together but when separated they fall apart and you’ll never see one without the other.  (If you’ve ever read Percy Jackson, they’re like the Stoll twins.)

Swear, CT-498. (I actually forgot to include him on my line-up D:). He’s the second oldest right after Siege, but as a sniper he doesn’t fit leadership role very well. He’s technically under Siege and in the 604th, but is 1) treated like a lieutenant in terms of respect and 2) loaned out frequently to special ops mission as he’s a really fucking great sniper. like. one of the best. He got his name because even as a cadet he was constantly cursing and bitching about shit (it was always relevant and made sense, but on Kamino there was a lot to be pissed off about so). He actually almost took a name related to languages because he was alway he’s always learning new languages for the sheer sake of having the right swear word.

And them the kids. I apologize if you asked and expected a few short sentences lol. And thanks to anyone who is actually reading this b/c that means you read about my clone kids. anyone have question PLS ask me im always willing to talk more!

[fan-of-mulligan]

FOM BLOG: GILLINGHAM SUPPORTERS REPORT (PART TWO)

At the start of the season, and after Fifteen League Games Of The Season, I asked Gillingham Supporters for there thoughts and opinions on Gillingham’s Player Recruitment, Where Do Gillingham Need To Strengthen The Squad In The January Transfer Window, And Questions About Gillingham’s Home Form, If you want to check out those blogs in full, then here are a few links to those respective blogs - http://fan-of-mulligan.tumblr.com/post/176599990077/fom-blog-gillingham-supporters-season-preview-for AND http://fan-of-mulligan.tumblr.com/post/179698794922/fom-blog-gillingham-supporters-report-part-one

This blog is a follow up blog to the two previous blogs that Several Gillingham Supporters have participated in, the first blog was a question and answer session before the start of the season, and the second blog saw Gillingham Supporters answer questions after Fifteen League Games, After this third blog for The 2018 / 2019 Season, there will be one more Gillingham Supporters Blog for the end of The 2018 / 2019 Season,  Answering these questions are the following Gillingham Supporters,,,, Richard, Luke, Emlyn, ForzaGills, We_Need_Eaves, Dave, BQGillsFan, Mac, Colin, Rob, Smithy, Marc, Stocky, Loonpotter, Louis, Matthew, Gills Debate, and Lewis.

I want to thank every Gillingham Supporter for contributing to the blog, not only the supporters who participated in the first blog, but also the newcomers who have given there thoughts and opinion’s on the first fifteen league games of The 2018 / 2019 Season For The Gills, Now on to the questions and answers.

1, AFTER THIRTY LEAGUE GAMES, GILLINGHAM ARE NINETEENTH IN THE LEAGUE ONE TABLE WITH THIRTY THREE POINTS, HOW WOULD YOU SUM UP GILLINGHAM’S PERFORMANCE IN LEAGUE ONE SO FAR THIS SEASON, AND WHAT DO YOU THINK GILLINGHAM WILL NEED TO DO IF GILLINGHAM ARE TO START CLIMBING THE TABLE AND HEAD IN THE RIGHT DIRECTION ???

Richard - Inconsistent. Yes the home form is a concern but I'm more concerned by the number of pathetic goals we concede. Don't mind being beaten by a stunner but 9 of 10 we concede is due to poor defending.

Luke - My feelings haven't changed an awful lot since the last round of these questions after Bradford. Still average to poor in the league. Having an FA Cup run however has been bit of a nice change and the scenes when Elliott List scored against Cardiff I will remember for a long time. A lot of inconsistencies need to be ironed out but the new signings will hopefully add some fresh impetus into the team.

Emlyn - It’s disappointing to be in the position we are in at the moment, to climb out of it Im not too sure, maybe a different formation like the one used in the last few games, stick with this one for a while and see how the results go, we were unlucky against Accrington(wasn’t at Coventry), we were creating chances and looked more dangerous going forward, so I’d prob give that a go for the foreseeable.

ForzaGills - I think our current league position is lower than most would've hoped, but about right in terms of what we'd have realistically expected at the start of the season. With little opportunity to invest in the squad Steve Lovell’s done an ok job of getting a young squad together capable of competing at this level, but we’re a long way off a playoff push or even mid-table at this stage. If we’re going to start climbing the table, we need to stop conceding so many soft goals, particularly at home.

We_Need_Eaves - one dimensional. Have a plan b for when plan a doesn’t work IE: use wingers.

Dave -  There have been some positive results so far for the gills. However, inconsistency has been our biggest issue again. We haven’t had a run of results where we have won 4 or 5 games with a couple of draws in a row. If we can do that we should be fine since we are essentially 6 wins away from the magic 50.

BQGillsFan - Gillingham's season is getting more and more infuriating as it goes on. We have a team capable of putting in big performances but we don't do it in the games we need to. Dropping too many points in winnable games and not showing any consistency on a week to week basis. At this point I'm not sure what Gills can do, it's going to be a nervy end to the season.

Mac - It’s been pretty poor so far but I think we could climb the league if we carry on playing wingers.

Colin - The squad lacks creativity in midfield. We have too many agricultural players. The defensive unit of Fuller, Ehmer, Zakuani and Ogilvie can't deal with pace. Maybe the new loan players can give us a better blend. The upside is that Eaves and Hanlan look likely to get more goals.

Rob - I think Gillingham have been poor this season. We're just above the relegation zone for another season and results continue to be unimpressive. However, that is not particularly unexpected as this level of performance was predicted by many before the season began. To improve results and move up the table, Gillingham had to do two things in the winter: keep Eaves and sign more players. We have done both.

Smithy - Looking at the stats and how we've been on the pitch, it's plain to see it's been a mixed bag so far. Performance-wise I don't think we've seen the best from this squad this season. It seems to be very stop-start. At the start of this campaign I was really hopeful that we could do well. However not to be. I feel slightly let down to be honest, we have the ability to be doing so much better than we are, and it's such a shame.

Going forward we need to remain positive, I think the boys need to be more confident and just fight more. Some players need to realise what they're capable of, and show us.

Marc - Underwhelming and inconsistent. I fully expected us to be comfortably in the middle of the table and pushing for the top half. The home form needs to improve drastically as we’ve already seen this season that our away form isn’t as good as last season. Get the home form right and we’ll be pushing up the table.

Stocky - I think we are consistently inconsistent. We Go on a run and look as if we have no relegation worries then we go through a bad patch and are sucked right in it again. I think the home form is a massive area of concern; it used to be a fortress and now we make it easy for teams to pick up points.

Loonpotter - The problem for me is the inconsistency so if we just performed we probably wouldn't be in this position.

Louis - It’s been massively inconsistent really, one step forward, 2 steps back. We need to start winning games and being better defensively.

Matthew - I think after thirty league games we are not doing very well but now with the new signings we can now improve. I think we need to sort out the defending side of our game tho.

Gills Debate -  Frustratingly inconsistent for me. This group of players have shown that they can put in good performances and pick up good results at this level, but in order to properly climb up the table we need to put together a good run of results over a decent number of games, which unfortunately we haven’t really been able to do. At the end of October/beginning of November we beat Bradford 4-0 and Fleetwood 3-0, but then lost the next 3 in the league. At the beginning of January, we got back to back wins against Cardiff and Burton (albeit the Burton one was a bit fortuitous), but then in the next game we put in a really disappointing performance against Walsall. The inconsistency in results is frustrating, but Southend in 12th are only 5 points ahead of us, so if we can get a good run together then we should pull away from those places just above the bottom 4.

Lewis - I think the best word to describe it is inconsistency. We started well, then we fell flat, like, really flat, then we picked up again, and ever since it’s been up and down. We have a good squad, one that shouldn’t be in this situation, and it’s obvious home form needs to change to help us progress. We need to defend better, but it’s all about results now.

2. WHO DO YOU THINK HAS BEEN GILLINGHAM’S MOST IMPROVED PLAYER THIS SEASON ???

Richard - Elliott List. Wasn't convinced when we signed him to a 2 year deal, thought 1 would be appropriate, but he goes to show the difference some game time and confidence can make.

Luke - My answer also still remains Elliott List. 7 goals this season is more than double his best tally so far in a Gills shirt and he's now starting to show the confidence to run at people, keep going and creating things. He's not looked quite as effective in the last couple of games playing wide left for me, but Lovell has confidence in him and hopefully that will help spur Listy on. Also shout-out to DJ Oldaker who looks a lot more of a complete midfielder this season but I think he's still got a lot further to go before he's at his best.

Emlyn - Ogilvie has improved a lot  on last season, Rees looks to now be showing what he is capable off, the last 4 games he has deserved his place!, Oldaker obviously and Eaves has almost beaten his goal tally of last year already, There are improvements to more than just  one player!

ForzaGills - Elliott List for me. You could argue that his progression started at the back end of last season but it’s the last few months in which he’s really kicked on. When the team looks flat and void of ideas and creativity, as has often been the case this season, he seems to be the one player than constantly looks to get on the ball, run and people, and try and make things happen.

We_Need_Eaves -  Until recently I’d of said Ogilvie however now it’s List.

Dave -  For me it has been Connor Ogilvie. He was obviously a much better player defensively last season than he was going forward. This season he seems to have grown in confidence going forward and it has shown at times. His defensive performances have also been improved at times with a standout being Cardiff. Hopefully we can continue to see this and we can get him on a permanent at the end of the season.

BQGillsFan - Easily Elliott List. He's gone from a few bench appearances to being arguably our most important player other than Eaves.

Mac - Elliot List.

Colin - Barry Fuller has surprised me given where he was when he left us for Wimbledon.

Rob - The most improved player this season is either List or Oldaker. List has had a regular run in the side for a number of months, both scoring and creating chances. However, he still drifts out of the game too often for my liking and now has some serious competition on the wings. Oldaker has also massively improved. He barely featured last season but I'm glad he was offered a deal. This season has been a break through for him – he's both playing in rotation and has contributed on the field, especially his fantastic FA Cup goal. However, he still needs to perform consistently to play regularly and there are still questions about his attitude in training.

Smithy - Personally for me I think I have to say List. He's been around a while now and ever since that goal down at Bristol at the end of last season I think something clicked and he's moved on this season. He's one of the names we almost expect to see start now and I've no doubt there's much more to come from him.

Marc - Elliot List for me. Showed glimpses last season of what he could do and he’s taken his chance this season and scored some good goals. He’s forced his way into the starting 11 this time round and is impressing.

Stocky - Based on my expectation, I am going to go with List and Fuller. I wasn't sure of List being offered a new deal but he's proved me wrong and has grabbed the bull by the horns. Fuller I expected to be a squad player only but is now out first choice right back and his effort is outstanding.

Loonpotter - I’m not sure anyone has really improved on last season.

Louis - Elliott List for me.

Matthew -  Elliot List has definitely been our most improved and some time important with his work rate.

Gills Debate - During the course of the season, I think I’d possibly go with Josh Rees. I think it’s taken him a while to adapt to playing at a higher level, but over the last month or so I think he’s improved a lot. The big thing for me is that I think he looks a lot more confident as a player, and that’s probably been helped by the goals that he’s scored against Burton Albion and Swansea City. If he can score goals on a consistent basis, then he’ll be a big asset to the side. In comparison to last season, I think I’d go with Elliott List. For me he’s often looked like a player with potential, but he’s been able to turn that potential into performances this season.

Lewis -  For me there’s no doubt it’s Elliott List. There was huge relief when he got his goal against Bristol Rovers, and this season he’s really kicked on from that. He can play out wide or through the middle, and he’s scoring goals. Let’s not forget he’s only 21 as well. We’ve got a very solid League One player on our hands, one that I think could go further.

3. AND WHO DO YOU THINK HAS BEEN GILLINGHAM’S MOST DISAPPOINTING PLAYER THIS SEASON ???

Richard - Tomas Holy. Particularly since the "announcement" he wouldn't be signing.

Luke - Could choose anyone of the three players that left us in January. Wilkinson had a real opportunity to nail a first team place down this season but didn't. Parker has looked less interested and lazier to me this season although I do appreciate he has been played out of position for a number of games, his goal stats however don't look anywhere near as good as last season. Finally poor old Navid Nasseri. Probably didn't get enough of a chance this season especially when we've been chasing games but Loves saw him day in and day out so if he wasn't the right option, perhaps his future is best elsewhere.

Emlyn - Don’t Know.

ForzaGills - Luke O’Neil. Started well with a great free kick against Burton but was dislodged by Barry Fuller pretty early on and has struggled to get back into the squad on a regular basis. When he has played recently, I think he’s been poor more often than not. Maybe I’ve come to expect too much from him after last season, but I personally thought he’d be more important to us than he has been.

We_Need_Eaves - Bradley Garmston.

Dave - N/A

BQGillsFan - It's hard to look beyond Mark Bryne as being a complete let down this season. I've sung this guys praises for so long and he was my player of the year last season, but this campaign has been one bad performance after another and I'm shocked he's still starting every week.

Mac -  Bradley Garmston.

Colin - Luke O'Neill has really suffered a big drop in confidence and form. As a result we are playing Ogilvie as a Left Back. Byrne is also a shadow of what he was.

Rob - The most disappointing player is, for me, a choice between either Parker, O'Neill, or Reilly. Josh Parker scored 12 goals last season and I was expecting a similar return this year. This has not happened. He was sent home by Lovell during the winter and, although he returned to play, hasn't been the same player this year. A continuing legal battle with his former employers in Serbia cannot be helping. I was surprised to see him leave for Charlton in the transfer window but perhaps this a good move for all parties.

Luke O'Neill has not hit the height of last season – that is not to say he has been playing bad this term. However, he has often lost his place to the ancient Barry Fuller and has not been quite as effective in his deliveries from the wing back position. One of our most creative players in the 2017-18 season, a bit of consistency and improved performance would definitely increase our attacking output.

Callum Reilly is perhaps a harsh choice here. He looked fantastic on loan last season and I fully expected him to continue with that level this year. Unfortunately, this seems not to have happened. He's often been paired with Byrne and this creates a midfield full of effort and endeavour but little creativity.

Smithy - The most disappointing player for me was a hard one. There are a couple of players who in my opinion haven't shown the same ability, If I have to pick one, it's Callum Reilly. I liked him when we had him on loan, very much. I thought he had something about him. I spoke to him at the end of last season and asked his thoughts on a permanent move and he seemed like that would be a good move. It was the name I wanted to hear we'd signed in the summer and I was delighted when we did. I think he's got talent, I like him a lot and I would love to see him excel however I just don't feel he's been at it more often than he's not sadly.

Marc - Sadly I’d say Luke O’Neil. Last season he was my favourite player in the squad but he’s struggled this time round and has only shown glimpses of what he can do. It’s not all his fault though. Barry Fuller has come in and has been better than expected which has meant Luke’s been in and out of the side  and when he has played its often been out of position. I think he can certainly turn it around and I’d offer him a new deal it it was down to me.

Stocky -  For me it has to be Parrett. He undoubtedly has quality but it hasn't been seen often enough partly.due to injury. For me it's similar to when we had Wagstaff; a good name on paper but not on the pitch often enough.

Loonpotter - Most disappointing possibly Josh Parker.

Louis - Mark Byrne for me, just don’t feel he’s hit the heights and has played the best he can like we saw last season.

Matthew - I think Parker has been very disappointing but now he has left it gives others a chance.

Gills Debate - I had been a bit disappointed with Parker’s performances this season. I often thought that he was a quite a clever player with a decent ‘football brain’, and 12 goals in all competitions last season was a decent return for a side that finished in the bottom half of the table, but I don’t think he had been as good this season – Perhaps the ongoing case with Red Star Belgrade has had a part to play with that. That being said, I was still slightly disappointed to see that he had left for Charlton, because when he’s played well, he’s been an important part of the side in my opinion.

Lewis - I’ll chose 2 - Luke O’Neill & Tomas Holy. Both were absolutely brilliant last year, and I think both have struggled quite a lot this season. It’s got to the point where Holy is making a mistake most games now (whether it leads to a goal or not), and I think he’d be lucky to get that Championship offer at this point. As for Luke O’Neill, he’s been dropped a few times this season for Mr 100% Barry Fuller, who I think was only supposed to be a back up when he was bought back. We could really do with both O’Neill and Holy picking up their form from last season.    

4. TRANSFER WINDOW QUESTION NUMBER ONE: GILLINGHAM HAVE EXTENDED CONNOR OGILVIE’S LOAN SPELL UNTIL THE END OF THE SEASON, AND GILLINGHAM HAVE SIGNED BILLY KING, RICKY HOLMES, GRAHAM BURKE, TAHVON CAMPBELL AND LEONARDO DA SILVA LOPEZ ON LOAN UNTIL THE END OF THE SEASON, HOW WOULD YOU SUM UP GILLINGHAM’S TRANSFER BUSINESS IN THE JANUARY TRANSFER WINDOW ???

Richard - Promising. Some greater strength in depth. The Holmes one is entirely dependent on his fitness. Could be a season changed, could be a waste. Time will tell.

Luke - Well it looked pretty dire until the last two days of the window but what a thrilling deadline day we had. Very pleased with the players we have brought in and actually gives us more options to vary the shape with Holmes, King & Campbell all able to play out wide. Very happy with the caliber we have brought in also as they have either played at a higher level or on the International stage. Ogilvie can be hit and miss but we have had much worse. I for am very excited to see Ricky Holmes in a Gills shirt (when he is fit of course).

Emlyn - Pleased with Ogilvie he’s played very well at times this season, and personally preferred it if he stayed!, The new signings should definitely add something different to the team in a positive way, really looking forward to watching Holmes though, He’s always been brilliant when I’ve seen him play against us, If him alone was the only  signing in January I would have been happy with just that!

With the other additions it looks to have been a really good window - Time will tell of course.

ForzaGills - The January window was brilliant, deadline day especially. Of course, we can’t judge these new lads until we see them play, they could all turn out to be a disaster, but they all look promising and like they have something to offer the squad. New faces will no doubt shake up the squad and add a bit of life to the dressing room. I’m particularly excited by Leonardo Da Silva Lopez and Ricky Holmes.

We_Need_Eaves - Very active to remedy the issue of not having a plan B.

Dave -  I am overall very happy with the club’s transfer business. They brought in a couple of players with some evident league one pedigree in Da Silva Lopez and Holmes and they will be great additions. I am also happy with the others and I believe they will make a positive impact. On first glance at Graham Burke, I think he offers something different to what we had. On Saturday he looked comfortable on the ball and tried to make things happen. Maybe should have scored, but some very positive signs.

BQGillsFan - In the context of the remainder of the season, it's a cracking set of signings to get in to the team. Ogilvie has massively stepped up from 17/18 season and glad to see him back. Holmes is a top drawer signing for League One as well. My fear is that they are all loan deals and if they play well enough to keep us up, they will be gone come summer time and we're straight back to square one.

Mac - Very good.

Colin - So many loanees looks like panic and an admission that the squad was way off the mark despite all the "we have cover in every position" hogwash. Hopefully a couple of them can get in the starting eleven and make a difference.

Rob -  Our transfer window business has been very surprising. Extending Ogilvie's loan was a no-brainer and hardly surprising - I would also be surprised if we do not sign him permanently in the summer. However, our deadline day spending spree was unprecedented and a delight for fans. We needed players in and we have signed some! A deluge of wingers should hopefully end Lovell's "we don't play with wingers" though process and allow us to have good wing play to fully utilise Eaves's aerial ability. Burke looked promising on his debut, finding pockets of space and willing to have the ball. If I'm being super critical he may have spent a little too much time dwelling in possession but that will surely be rectified with training sessions with his new teammates. The additions of King and Holmes (when fit) will also add width and quality on the ball and this can only be a good thing. Campbell is a surprising signing given he's on loan from a team in a league below us, but I am intrigued to see how he does. Leo Da Silva Lopes is a name that I have heard many good things about and Wigan were willing to spend big money on him. Peterborough fans seems less enthused about his performances at the club, but he is still young and could add some real quality to our midfield.

Smithy - Generally I think we done quite well from the January transfer window. Although all the deals are loans I still think it's good business as on paper strengthened in areas where we may have been a bit weak. I'm very hopeful of at least 2-3 of them being very useful indeed between now and May.

Marc - I’d say it’s been positive. Ogilvie for me has improved this season. He’s a decent defender but lacks a bit going forward. I think he gets a lot of unfair stick from our fans who think that because he’s come from Spurs he should be a superstar. We had to wait a while for most of our business but in Ricky Holmes and Graham Burke I think we’ve got a couple of quality players. I’m interested to see how Lopes gets on too. Was highly rated at Peterborough and hasn’t played much at Wigan. Campbell and king are low risk moves but could both prove to be good business.

Stocky -  I think it's been good, we haven't seen a deadline day like that! I haven't seen any negativity about any of the signings despite some coming from the lower leagues so hopefully that indicates some potential. The signing of 2 wingers is interesting and hints at either a plan to change the formation or a plan b.

Loonpotter - Done some good business.. if fit, Ricky Holmes is probably one of the best players in this division.

Louis -  Very good. We have signed wingers and positions we needed and have brought in some real talent.

Matthew - I think it has been very positive. All the new signings will be useful. I am not a big fan of Ogilvie and I feel he is the week link at the moment.

Gills Debate - I thought that extending Ogilvie’s loan was a sensible piece of business, and it was good to see that Lovell was backed to add players to the squad, and I’m excited to see what the new additions can offer the team. Burke obviously got to play the full 90 minutes on his debut for the club last Saturday, and I thought that there were some good signs – He looked like he had a good touch and I thought that he was confident when he was on the ball. There were perhaps a couple of occasions where he shot when maybe passing the ball on would have been a better option, but on the flip side that does show that he is confident. The only real disappointment for me was that we weren’t able to add an ‘enforcer’ style midfielder to the squad, as I do feel that we lack that kind of player in the middle of the park.

Lewis -  It was brilliant, wasn’t it? We needed wingers, we got wingers, and that’s the main thing. Ricky Holmes will be a brilliant signing if he can get fit - we know all about him from his time tormenting us at Charlton. Graham Burke looks very good on the ball, and early signs of Lopes & King are positive too. It would’ve been nice if we’d have got some permanent ones in, but this is risk free, which is another positive.

5. TRANSFER WINDOW QUESTION NUMBER TWO: JOSH PARKER, NAVID NASSERI, LEROY HLABI AND CONOR WILKINSON HAVE ALL LEFT GILLINGHAM FOOTBALL CLUB DURING THE JANUARY TRANSFER WINDOW, WHAT ARE YOUR THOUGHTS AND OPINIONS ON THESE FOUR PLAYERS MOVING ON ??? AND WHICH PLAYER FROM THESE FOUR LISTED ARE YOU MOST SURPRISED ABOUT LEAVING GILLINGHAM FOOTBALL CLUB ???

Richard - Surprised by Parker but not disappointed. Yes he contributed some goals but never rated his passing or creativity, personal opinion. Otherwise no major players left. Think we have, again potentially, strengthened what's left.

Luke - Mainly covered this in question 3 tbf. I was surprised to see Parker get a move to Charlton as they're meant to be a side chasing promotion and he's perhaps not the 15-20 goal a season striker they've lost in Karlan Grant. Hope they all do well in their careers, unless they're coming up against us of course.

Emlyn - I have no problems with any of them leaving, obviously more surprised with Parker going!

ForzaGills - I was shocked that Josh Parker left, that seemed to come out of nowhere. Although not always consistent he was certainly versatile and scored some important goals. Conor Wilkinson was destined to leave, bar the goal at Fratton Park last season he’s been pretty dreadful. Navid Nasseri left for personal reasons so wish him well, I would’ve liked to see him get more game time. Never seen Leroy Hlabi play so couldn’t comment on him.

We_Need_Eaves - Great business by the club as 3 of them didn’t play for us and Parker was a real shock, didn’t see it coming. What about Nash? No surprise though as he had no future with us.

Dave -  I am disappointed that it didn’t work out for the four that did leave. You always want players to succeed and it is a shame. Wilkinson showed glimpses of brilliance at times and will be remembered for his beauty at Pompey. However, he seems settled at Dagenham and I am happy he is scoring goals. I am most surprised about Josh Parker, was something I didn’t see coming at all.

BQGillsFan - I'm surprised that Parker left but I'm not going to say I'm disappointed. This season he's barely played and when he has, he's quite simply been awful. Centrally he's been outshone by List and even O'Neill has done better as a winger than Parker. The other three I'm not so surprised by and getting them off the wage bill can only help the feint dream of some investment in other players down the line.

Mac - It’s good because it frees up wages and they weren’t starting 11 players. I’m most surprised by Parker.

Colin - No surprise. It will be interesting to see whether Bowyer can make something of Parker.

Rob - As stated earlier, I was surprised to see Josh Parker leave. While he has been less effective this year than last, he was still getting regular games in the side. However, a move to Charlton may rejuvenate the Antiguan and boost his career further. Not a great loss considering our replacements, and a good move for all concerned. I fully expected Connor Wilkinson to depart having been loaned to Dagenham days after being sent home by the manager. Navid Nasseri is a player that barely featured last season or this. While he looked good on his goal-scoring debut, he also was very lightweight in the hustle-and-bustle of a League 1 relegation battle. A player that is better suited to a more technical game, I wonder if his career would be better suited to somewhere like Scandinavia. I don't think I've ever seen Hlabi play and his contract was simply because he missed a good chunk of this third year as a scholar. I expect to see him ply his trade across the Ryman League for years to come.

Smithy - Without doubt I was most surprised to see Josh Parker leave us in this window. I didn't see that coming to be honest. He's not been his best this season, that's not to say I didn't like him. He was great last year, chipping in with the goals, however if he feels this is the right move for him then I wish him all the best.

Navid I liked, I think he's got potential. He's only young so hopefully he'll find his feet and progress somewhere that he's happy. Having not been in/around the squad for some time I wasn't particularly surprised to hear he'd left, Mr Wilkinson, what can I say. He's got talent, when he wants to apply it. I wish him the best of luck but I'm sorry I'm not overly sad to see him go, As for Leroy Hlabi, whatever suits the lad for his future. I hope he does well but I can't comment on him personally as I've never seen him play.

Marc - Josh Parker I was most surprised about. Surprised but not gutted. He’s done a job for us over the last 2 years, alright not been as consistent this season as last but he’s been involved in most match day squads and he probably suffered from Elliot List’s development. Connor Wilkinson moving on was probably best for all concerned. Rarely got a run of games and when he did some fans slated him because maybe they expected him to be another Tom Eaves. He’s gone down to the national league now and maybe if he hits a bit of good form he’ll get back in the league. Good luck to him. Nasseri seemed to be treated as just another number in this squad. An unused sub for the first months of the season but was soon cast off when the likes of Oldaker got his chance. I don’t know why this didn’t happen sooner. It wasn’t doing him any good not playing and he now has a bit of time to get himself fixed up for next season. Hlabi was a no risk move. Sadly it didn’t work out for him but good luck to him.

Stocky - Most surprised is Josh Parker, I don't think anyone saw that one coming. I felt frustrated for Nasseri as he looked a good player in the brief times he played but didn't get enough game time.

Loonpotter - Quite surprised that Josh left despite performances dropping and was delighted to see Conor Wilkinson leave.

Louis -  I’m not too bothered by any of them leaving really, I think Parker going to Charlton surprised me. Didn’t see it coming.

Matthew - Navid Nasseri because I feel he did not get the chance to play that often.

Gills Debate - The only real disappointment for me was perhaps Josh Parker leaving as I mentioned in question 3, and his departure was the only real one that surprised me. We’d spent the final few days of the window wondering if Eaves was going to leave, but I didn’t expect Parker to go anywhere! I think that Wilkinson going was the best decision for all concerned and it sounds like he’s done well at Dagenham & Redbridge, whilst Nasseri showed a bit of promise last season but he hasn’t been able to secure a spot in the 1st team this time around.

Lewis -  Before the window I wouldn’t have said any of them got in our ‘best XI’ and I didn’t think any of them had a long term future at Gillingham, so I don’t mind too much. Wilkinson clearly has a few problems so I’ve no sadness about him leaving. Hlabi and Nasseri I liked but I don’t think Leroy was ever going to break through & it seems Nav has some personal problems, which I hope he sorts ASAP. Josh Parker was the one I didn’t see coming, especially to Charlton. He was a frustrating player but on his day he knew where the goal was, and certain aspects of his game, such as his hold up play and passing ability were solid. It seemed like he was in favour so it was a weird one, but I’m not gutted by it.  

6. DARREN OLDAKER HAS SIGNED A TWO AND A HALF YEAR CONTRACT EXTENSION WITH GILLINGHAM FOOTBALL CLUB, WHAT ARE YOUR THOUGHTS ON DARREN OLDAKER SIGNING A NEW CONTRACT EXTENSION, AND ALSO, WHICH PLAYER CURRENTLY IN THE SQUAD WOULD YOU LIKE TO SEE GILLINGHAM OFFER A NEW CONTRACT TO ???

Richard - Pleased to see he's committed, he's got a lot of pressure to be Dack 2.0 so mentally he needs to be ready. Eaves will be the one but can't blame him for wanting to try at a bigger club.

Luke - Very excited to see Oldaker progress further with the Gills. I hope he can earn himself a foothold in the side permanently at some point and that he just continues to progress. Eaves would be the obvious choice for a new deal but it's unlikely he will stay so I will go with Barry Fuller. Has been very consistent this season and was only awarded a one year deal last summer and I thoroughly hope he stays onto next year. Keeping hold of O'Neill & Lacey would be good business if they can both stay fit. Bingham for me is a lost cause sadly due to his injuries.

Emlyn - Very happy that Oldaker has signed a new contract, I think he will be an important player for us and sooner rather than later, I rate him highly already!

And obviously we would all love Eaves to sign a new contract!!

ForzaGills - Really pleased that DJ signed a new deal, he’s an exciting player who will only get better. I think he’s one of those players that will either fade away into mediocrity or get snapped up by a bigger club. He’s got all the ability, it’s whether he knows how to use it. Elliott List and Bradley Garmston deserve new deals.

We_Need_Eaves - Oldaker is good business as he has potential. Obvious but it has to be Eaves. If not Eaves then List.

Dave - I am delighted that DJ has signed a new deal. He has shown great promise in the games he has played in and is a fantastic dead ball specialist. He is definitely one for the future and has shown great maturity since getting back into the team. The one player I want to sign a new deal is obviously Tom Eaves.

BQGillsFan - I'm very happy to see Oldaker sign a new deal as I think he should be starting for us. Most of Gills best midfield performances have been with DJ in the starting line up.

Obviously I'd love to see us offer Eaves a new contract but it seems like that won't be happening, so next would be List. I know he signed one recently but I've been hearing a few clubs have got their eye on him so we need to lock him down to a bigger contract in order to either keep him or get more money for him should clubs come in for him.

Mac - I love Oldaker and think it’s a good move and Eaves.

Colin - I hope Oldaker can make the playmaker role his own. There isn't much competition. I would like Eaves to sign another deal but that looks unlikely.

Rob - Darren Oldaker has had a break-through season at the club. From going to an untested but promising youngster, the midfielder has matured enough to deserve a place in the senior squad. Several good performances (including a spectacular FA Cup goal) have seen him maintain his place in the 18 for most games. He adds much needed creativity to the base of midfield and is rapidly learning the discipline required for such a role. If he keeps his head down and works hard – suggestions of attitude issues in training seem to remain - he can become a great and profitable player for the club.

The one player I would like to see sign a new contract: Tom Eaves. Who else?

Smithy - I was very pleased to see Darren Oldaker had signed an extension. I think he genuinely could be a very valuable asset if he keeps working hard and pushing for a spot in the team. Very pleased with this news, There are two players that I would love to see sign new deals, however it's been made public that they probably won’t.(Tom Eaves and Tomas Holy), Regarding a new contract being offered the one for me is Barry Fuller. I'd love to see him stay on past the summer.

Marc - DJ has taken the chance he’s been given this season. He’s finally starting to show his potential and offers us something different in midfield. Could be a cracking piece of business. The obvious one who I’d like us to offer a new contract to us Tom Eaves. Whether he signs or not is another matter but he’s looking good for 20 goals this season and the club should make him an offer he can’t refuse.

Stocky - I think it's a brilliant signing; he's got a bright future in the game and hasn't looked out of place when he's played. It would be good to see him get an extended run in the team. I would offer the biggest contract ever to Mr Eaves but whether he would accept it or not is another matter.

Loonpotter - Darren has a bright future.. so good on his day.

Louis - I think he’s an extremely talent player with bags of potential. One of the best midfielders ability wise at the club. I’d love to see us renew Tom Eaves contract although can see it will be difficult to keep him at Gillingham.

Matthew - I would love Tom Eaves needs to sign because he is our top scorer and a big influence in the striking department.

Gills Debate -  I was very pleased to see Oldaker sign a new deal. He’s clearly made an impression on Lovell this season, because he was quite critical of him at the fan’s forum back in the summer, and it’s been good to see him getting some minutes in League 1 games this season. Eaves to me is the obvious one that I’d like to see sign a new deal, but I’m not sure that we’ll be able to keep him beyond the end of this season, and it does sound like we have already been in talks with him for a while. List isn’t out of contract at the end of the season, but I’d perhaps look at offering him an extra year on his current deal, as I think there is a lot of promise there.

Lewis -  Oldaker has matured a lot, and he’s still working on that I’m sure, and he’s a player that does a role no one else does as well as him in the team. He gets on the ball and makes us tick, and you can really tell how important he actually is when he’s playing. Its great to get him tied down because he’s vital to the team and, if he gets anywhere near his clear potential in the time period of the contract, we’ll be in the money. In terms of a new deal, obviously I’d say Eaves but it doesn’t look like he’ll stay, so I’ll go with Barry Fuller, who I think deserves another year.  

7. GILLINGHAM ONLY WON FIVE LEAGUE GAMES AT HOME LAST SEASON, AND GILLINGHAM HAVE ONLY WON FOUR HOME LEAGUE GAMES THIS SEASON, WHAT DO YOU THINK NEEDS TO CHANGE FOR GILLINGHAM TO MAKE PRIESTFIELD STADIUM A FORTRESS AGAIN ???

Richard - The players mentality. If attendances are dropping the fans can't be on their back that much! We need to play like we did against Burton at the start of the season. Knock it around and take control. Play like the supposed home team rather than try & counter.

Luke - I normally get shot down for answering this one so to avoid getting myself in trouble with the boo boys (who should stay away) I won't delve too much.

Emlyn - I think the new players coming in will bring a change, let’s see what happens with that.

ForzaGills - We seem to have this problem every year now. There’s no wonder the attendances are down when we’ve only won 22 of 72 home games in the last 3 seasons. Scally needs to reduce the ticket prices for a start. £22 for an adult is unreasonable for any League One club, let alone the club with one of the worst home records in the EFL, I don’t blame people for staying away. Drop the ticket prices, get a few thousand more in the door and hopefully it’ll create a better atmosphere for the players to play in.

We_Need_Eaves - If we start on the front foot this will get us singing and chanting from the 1st minute and this creates the atmosphere, The players need to give us something to start with.

Dave - I think the fans just need to stay behind the team and they will feed off that confidence. We saw it against Cardiff everyone was behind them and they got a great result.

BQGillsFan - I think it's the same as I've always said, the responsibility is 50/50. Gills obviously need to deliver on the pitch to get the Priestfield crowd on their feet, but the fans also need to stick with the team when the going gets tough. Too much negativity before the game even gets going sometimes. I understand performances have left with little to cheer for, but it's amazing how much a good atmosphere can change a teams fortunes around.

Mac - More people to come to games.

Colin - Poor home form comes down to our lack of midfield quality. We can't break teams down. Away from home we get more space to play the long ball into.

Rob -  I really don't know what can be done to make Priestfield a fortress again. It is almost 10 years since we seemed unbeatable at home and hopeless away under Mark Stimson. Declining attendances - unfortunately a self-fulfilling prophecy – will not help to create an atmosphere. The fans are, understandably, very weary of both a perennial relegation battle and a lack of investment (either internal or external). The club always seems to remain one disaster from sinking and the back-room organisation is, at times, laughable. Be exciting, be successful and people will return.

Smithy -  I remember the days of Fortress Priestfield and I would love to see it like that again. I'd love for teams to hate coming here because they know they'd be in for a tough match.

How do we get there, I'm not sure at this moment.. Ticket prices I think are beginning to become a problem for some. I know a lot of people that have stopped going because it's too expensive. Maybe a few clever ticket reductions/deals for certain games would entice people through the door, Higher attendance could have an effect on the players, which in turn makes for a better atmosphere and therefore better for us and harder for the opposition.

Marc - The whole mood around the place is very negative at the moment. The fans know it, the players know it and the staff know it. That changes when you win your home games. Maybe the emphasis is on the fans to encourage rather than criticise the players? At the same time the players need to give the fans a reason to be positive and to cheer them on. Too many times this season at home we’ve sat back and let the opposition go 2 or 3 goals up. We need to start games better and get on the front foot. That would be a start.

Stocky - This is a tough question and a real chicken or the egg situation. The crowd is generally quiet unless we are playing a local team or a 'bigger' club such as Sunderland or Pompey.  The action on the pitch isn't enough for the crowd to be 'up for it' the majority of the time but the players could argue that fans could play their part by being vocal. I think if safe standing was an option, that would be productive to get the singer's in one place. As the crowds are dwindling, I think more offers would help raise the attendance. The Coventry fans we spoke to Saturday said they get 11-12k average ly but 28k for the community day shows what a good incentive it could be for our club if planned right. Even tickets for a tenner for one game would be a step in the right direction.

Loonpotter - I can't think of a single reason why being at home should be affecting them... the pitch was the excuse last year ...  but this year has been as bad or worse.

Louis - Supporters attitude.

Matthew - I feel we need to start games at home a bit brighter and keep teams out for at least 45 minutes.

Gills Debate -  One thing that I think I’d like us to work on is being able to pick up more points when we concede the first goal in games. We’ve gone behind first in 10 games at home in League 1 this season, and have only managed to pick up 5 points from these matches, with 4 of those coming in the 1st month of the season (against Burton Albion and Coventry City). Obviously ideally, we’d want to be the side getting on the scoresheet first, but if we could get more points after falling behind then that would help us. I think we also need to generally concede less goals, as we have the 6th worst record at home in the league in that respect, and if we could keep things tighter at the back, then Priestfield would be more of a fortress.

Lewis - First of all, the pitch is rubbish. We’ve spent around half a million on a new one and it’s not been looked after properly. I know it doesn’t cut up and stuff, but, in regards to the surface, we’re back to square one. The atmosphere is also poor - Lovell said the players felt the pressure against Walsall, and, although I don’t think you can blame the fans, I doubt that helps. We just need to find a way to have some confidence and make teams fear coming to Priestfield.  

8. GILLINGHAM MANAGED TO KEEP HOLD OF TOM EAVES ON TRANSFER DEADLINE DAY, GILLINGHAM MADE FIVE VERY GOOD SIGNINGS BEFORE THE JANUARY TRANSFER WINDOW CLOSED ON THURSDAY NIGHT, BUT HOW IMPORTANT WAS IT FOR GILLINGHAM’S SEASON THAT TOM EAVES REMAINED WITH GILLINGHAM FOOTBALL CLUB UNTIL THE END OF THE 2018 / 2019 SEASON ???

Richard - Very. Had he wanted to have gone it could have been an awkward few months but he's potentially playing for the right to get a chance to play at a higher team. Top goalscorer will only help his chances of that.

Luke - Very much a Dack moment circa January 2016. I'm sure there will be people moaning that he will go for free in the summer but he is so influential to our side that its very pleasing we didn't take the money from Sunderland and kept the big guy. Real chance for him to get 20+ this season so lets hope he keeps up his pre Christmas form and keeps us moving up the table.

Emlyn -  It’s extremely important to keep him this season and beyond that if possible, he has been nothing short of brilliant since he joined, his attitude, work rate etc has been unquestionable!, He will be vital to us trying to stay in this division.

ForzaGills - A couple of months ago, I’d have been torn between taking the money in January and keeping him until the end of the season, but given how we’ve slid down the table and back into the thick of the relegation battle, I’m pretty relieved he’s stayed. He could be the difference between League One and League Two next season.

We_Need_Eaves - Vital. It also motivated the rest of the team as we’ve kept our best player.

Dave - I think keeping hold of Eaves was vital. He’s our top scorer and has won us many games this season. He has the potential to score anytime. His penalty on Saturday was vital in our quest for safety.

BQGillsFan - Whatever money we could have got for Eaves is nothing compared to what his contributions in our bid to stay up are worth. If we had lost Eaves we would be down, no doubt.

Mac - Very important because otherwise I feel like we would struggle to score goals.

Colin - Without Eaves or an adequate replacement we would be heading for League Two.

Rob - Vitally important. I'm certain the club had offers but clearly decided that Eaves was more important than a few hundred thousand pounds. Once it got to deadline day, it was unlikely he was going anyway – we would have had no time to sign a replacement, and I think both Lovell and Scally know how important he is. He's scored the majority of our goals and is a player who occupies defences and can score from anything in the air. With our new wingers hopefully putting balls into the box, he's only going to score more.

Smithy -  I tweeted after hearing Paul Scally on Radio Kent saying he'd had two bids come in for Tom Eaves but had turned them down because he wanted to keep the player over cashing in. Some people may well say that's very unlike Scally, and to a point I agree. He's done the right thing, no question. By all accounts Tom wants to stay until the end of season and that's great to hear. He's going to be very important right up until the final whistle up at Blackpool in May. I don't believe in one man teams, but he's certainly a huge part of ours.

Marc - Eaves staying is massive. It’s the difference between us staying up or potentially going down. I hate to think where we would be without his goals this season. Whether he stays or goes in the summer is another story but for the next few months he’s our player and will hopefully score the goals to keep us up.

Stocky - Massively important. As I've previously alluded too, I didn't know too much about some of the signings and that's an instant pressure on them if they were signed and suddenly had to replace Eaves - each game they didn't score, it would just get worse. His goals that will hopefully keep us up are more important than the fee; it was too late to get an adequate replacement and if we went down, I think we would struggle.

Loonpotter - Very important that Eaves stayed... The main player and goalscorer for this team.. probably would have been dead certs for relegation without him.

Louis - Very important, has contributed a lot to our season with scoring many goals.

Matthew - It is massive and we need that big striker to score goals.

Gills Debate -  I think that it was very important that we kept hold of Eaves. We have shown in games against the likes of Accrington Stanley (on the opening day of the season), and Portsmouth (in December) that we can win games without Eaves in the side, but there’s no doubt for me that losing him would have been a blow – He’s the club’s top scorer, and also the joint 3rd top scorer in the league, with a better minutes per goal ratio than a lot of the other contenders. I’m delighted that he’s still with us, and the fact that he did stay, made a good deadline day even better!

Lewis -  Very, very important. His goals are huge - 16 already this season is top stuff. I know we’ve not seen Campbell yet, but, with Parker gone too, we don’t really have another striker that can hold up the ball, so Eaves is important on that front as well. It shouldn’t have got to the point where we’re going to lose him for free, but I’d rather do that and stay up than cash in and effectively guarantee relegation.    

9. WHICH YOUNG PLAYERS (CAN BE MORE THAN ONE) WHO ARE ON THE FRINGES OF GILLINGHAM’S FIRST TEAM OR ARE CURRENTLY PLAYING IN THE YOUTH TEAM, DO YOU THINK CAN BE PUSHING FOR A SPOT IN GILLINGHAM’S FIRST TEAM WITHIN THE NEXT YEAR OR TWO ???

Richard - Potentially Hadler with Holy going and Stevenson. Not really sure who else will be given a chance. There doesn't appear to be any stand outs at the moment.

Luke - All of them if they push themselves. Oldaker is already a lot further ahead with the amount of game time he has had this season with both Simpson, Stevenson & Mbo warming the bench regularly. In terms of some of the younger boys, i think Henry Woods sounds like an exciting attack minded midfield player, Ryan Huckle is a very good height for a Centre Back which gives him every chance of having a future in the game and Charles Noyelle sounds lethal in front of goal. Exciting times ahead if they can push on.

Emlyn - I think Noel Mbo would be my best prediction for someone breaking into the first 11 in the not too distant future!

ForzaGills - Noel Mbo has looked promising the few times he’s made a first team appearance, he really needs to go out on loan to get game time though, given the number of forward players we now have. I’d also love to see Bradley Stevenson and Jack Tucker get some game time in the next year or so. I would’ve also said Liam Nash, but Lovell seems to have made his mind up on him.

We_Need_Eaves - Darren Oldaker.

Dave - I think Roman Campbell is one player for the future alongside Henry Woods. Both have impressed at youth level. Another which is highly rated within the club is Miquel Scarlett.

BQGillsFan - I still hold out hope for Bradley Stevenson but it seems less and less likely he's going to get a chance. Noel Mbo seems to be quite popular amongst Gills fans but I personally don't see much in him. Unfortunately I don't see any of our current youth set up getting into the squad any time soon, but I hope to be proven wrong on that one.

Mac - Oldaker, Stevenson, Campbell and Simpson.

Colin -  Oldaker obviously. Other than that maybe Stevenson.

Rob - It's difficult to say as I don't know too much about our youngsters. Obviously Oldaker is the big graduate this season, but Stevenson did play a few games back in the autumn. An attacking midfielder, he looked promising in the few cameo appearances he made and I would be intrigued to see him develop at the club. Aaron Simpson is another youngster who has been on the bench a few times, but this may be due to a lack of other viable left back options. A similar situation has applied to Noel Mbo.

Smithy - I have to admit I don't really follow the youths in terms of individual players, perhaps I should.

Marc - Obviously Oldaker. He’s been in and around for a while now and he’s starting to show how good he can be. Bradley Stevenson has shown glimpses of what he can do and I think he’ll feature more next season. Roman Campbell maybe not next season but the season after could be knocking on the door too. Iv only seen him a couple of times but he’s a handful for defenders and had scored all sorts of goals for the youth team this season.

Stocky - Well Darren Oldaker still comes into that category so it'll be nice to see him push on next season. Other than Darren, I would like to see what Noel can do at professional level and I also thought Stevenson equipped himself well in the first team in the autumn.

Loonpotter - I'd like to have already seen more of Mbo.

Louis - Darren Oldaker can really solidify a place in the first team in the coming years.

Matthew - I think Oldaker is a good player on his day and should be in that midfield but other are just that little bit better.

Gills Debate - Out of the 2nd year pros, I think it’s tricky to say who I think may be able to push on for a spot in the 1st team. Stevenson seemed to do OK when he had a couple of opportunities earlier on this season, but hasn’t been involved in the matchday squads for 3 or 4 months now. I’ve always had hopes that Mbo may be one that will really come into the 1st team picture, due to his impressive scoring record in the youth side, but he is now on trial in Sweden with Helsingborgs. In terms of those who are slightly younger, I’ve often been impressed when I’ve seen Jack Tucker play, and it sounds like Roman Campbell has done well in the youth team and is doing well now while he’s at Sittingbourne, so hopefully those two can perhaps stake their claim in the next year or two.

Lewis - I don’t want to sound biased because he is a friend of mine, but I think Aaron Simpson deserves a chance as left back. He’s been on the bench so often but is yet to play in the league, and, with neither Ogilvie or Garmston excelling, Aaron should get a chance for me. Honourable shoutouts to TJ Bramble and Miquel Scarlett, too.    

10. WHAT ARE YOUR THOUGHTS ON STEVE LOVELL AS GILLINGHAM MANAGER ???

Richard - I still think he's a coach rather than a manager. Needs help/assistance on coming up with a plan b or c etc. Becoming too dependent on poor first half > half time rocket > better second half.

Luke - Still has my backing. Still makes frustrating decisions, including making substitutions too late (Accrington at home) but I have faith in the Welsh Wizard. If he can get us to beat a Premier League team, he can't be all bad.

Emlyn - At this moment in time I am happy for Steve Lovell to be the clubs manager.

ForzaGills - I think Steve Lovell’s done ok. There’s not a great deal of quality in the squad and he hasn’t had the chance to spend any money so we can’t be expecting miracles. That said I don’t agree with his public battering of some players earlier in the season, I don’t think that helped the players or himself. I’d be surprised if he’s still here at the end of next season given how volatile the manager market is nowadays.

We_Need_Eaves - Too one dimensional and more often than not he isn’t decisive enough with his substitutions.

Dave - I am a big fan of Steve Lovell. He has great respect from the players and they are willing to play for him, which to me is vey important. He received a lot of criticism at the beginning of the season, but managed to turn things around. I just want him to succeed and be here for a few seasons. This club needs stability at the manager position.

BQGillsFan - I still stand by Lovell. I think he gets a lot of unwarranted abuse from fans, especially online, but he saved us from certain relegation last season and is working witha budget closer to actual peanuts that decent money. I agree there are times I question his starting XI and/or the subs he makes in game, but when he's got a team that hasn't paid for a player since Brennan Dickenson in 2014, it's like trying to sew with one hand behind your back. Not impossible but so much harder than it needs to be.

Mac - I think he’s an average manager and he cares about the club. Won’t get us anywhere in League 1 but will most likely keep us up.

Colin - Lovell has done well with a threadbare squad but has relied on long ball counter attacking. For us to be a team that can win at home he needs to show he can do more with the players technically.

Rob - I like Lovell. Until now, he hasn't has much to work with and I don't think he could have done all that much better with our squad. He still has some problems such as not signing wingers in the summer and making substitutions too late, but that's the reason he's a League 1 manager and not in the Premier League. He's still learning as well. It's very difficult to judge a manager with such a poor squad, but now that he has been backed, there's no real excuse. His comments to the media should always be taken with a pinch of salt; the comments that some fans are after would alienate most of the players.

Smithy - I really like Steve Lovell. As a manager he does frustrate me, however not to the point where I've wanted him gone. I think he's doing well with what he's got.

Marc - I want him to succeed. He comes across as a nice guy who genuinely wants the best for the club. Sometimes we see some naivety with him in regards to the timings of substitutions and some of the things he says in the press. We have to remember that he’s very inexperienced in terms of management. He’s trying and I think he’ll be here next season regardless of what division we’re in. Is he the right man for the job? I’m still not 100% convinced.

Stocky - I like Steve Lovell and think he's doing an ok job in the circumstances.  This may seem controversial but I think he's an average manager of an average squad therefore it's a good fit however I personally think we as a club should be aiming higher. Whether it would be different if there was more money to be spent, I don't know, but I personally think a change is needed in the summer as I can't visualise a promotion push. Again, a lot of this also comes down to the chairman. To summarise, I'm not Lovell out but think we could be doing better.

Loonpotter - I must admit I was a massive fan but I'm starting to lose the faith.

Louis - I think there’s better managers out there, makes some interesting decisions. Still question his tactics when chasing a game.

Matthew - I love him as a manager and seems like most fans do. But my only criticism is he needs to not leave it 10 minutes before the end of the game to bring on players.

Gills Debate -  I like Lovell, and I think that he did a great job when he took over control of the side last season. We haven’t pushed on like I was hoping that we may do this season, but I still think that he’s doing a fair job, and I think that it would be great to have a long term managerial appointment at the club that would offer some stability. Of course that shouldn’t come at the expense of the team, if Lovell’s not doing a good enough job then Scally should act, but I think that he’s doing OK at the moment.

Lewis -  It’s so hard, because he had such an impact when he came in, but our form has dipped massively since the turn of 2018. He does some stuff where I just think ‘what the hell are you doing?’, and I find his press conferences very tedious and confusing at times. His tactics are sometimes stale, but sometimes we are great. It could be worse, but it could be better.

11. GILLINGHAM HAVE SCORED SOME REMARKABLE GOALS THIS SEASON, IF YOU WERE TO SELECT YOUR TOP THREE GILLINGHAM GOALS OF THE 2018 / 2019 SEASON, WHICH GOALS WILL YOU SELECT AND WHY ???

Richard - Eaves v pompey, O'Neill v hartlepool, oldaker v slough

Luke - Best has to be Eaves vs Portsmouth Away, Unbelievable goal and if it was in the Premier League, people would still be going on about it now. 2nd goes to Elliott List at home vs Coventry at home. The tenacity he showed to run the whole half down the wing, beat two players run off the pitch and then back on to score from a ridiculous angle. Very good. 3rd for me is Luke O'Neill at home vs Burton. Lovely free-kick. Enough said.

Emlyn - Both of Eaves’ goals v Bradford/Fleetwood where Oldaker assisted with the two long passes! Two great passes with two brilliant(and difficult) finishes!

Elliott List V Cardiff...because of the occasion, beating premier league opposition and making the 4th round of the cup.

ForzaGills - 3rd Luke O’Neil vs Burton – one the best free kicks I’ve seen at Priestfield for a while.

2nd Elliott List vs Coventry – this goal just sums him up, pace, trickery, battling for everything, and dragging us out of a tough spot when we weren’t playing well.

1st Tom Eaves vs Pompey – you don’t need me to tell you why it’s number 1.

We_Need_Eaves - 1st Eaves vs Pompey away 2nd List Vs Burton away 3rd Fuller vs Doncaster.

Dave - Goals of the season so far for me: Eaves away to Pompey at number one, Barry Fuller away to Doncaster number 2, Elliott Lists solo run away at Burton number 3. Oldaker’s goal away to Slough is also up there.

BQGillsFan - Number One has to be Tom Eaves at Fratton Park. A stunning flick and volley to score a goal Messi or Ronaldo would be proud of. Simply stunning.

Number Two has to go to Elliott List for his winner against Cardiff. I've never seen Priestfield as loud all season and I nearly jumped out my skin as my phone pinged for the goal notification (I was in London and missed the game sadly).

One and two was easy to pick, I'm struggling a bit more for three. In the end I've gone with Barry Fuller's strike at Doncaster. Long way out for a striker to shoot, let alone a 34 year old right back.

Mac - Oldaker vs slough because the technique was unreal and it was an important goal to get us through to the next round, eaves vs Pompey because we hadn’t won in a while and it was a class goal and we went on to win, Fuller vs Doncaster because he never scores and it was a great strike and we went on to get a point away at a class team. Honourable mentions: list vs Burton away, parrett vs Scunthorpe away and list vs Coventry at home.

Colin -  Eaves at Pompey is our best by a country mile. Oldaker at Slough and Rees at Swansea also stick in the mind.

Rob -  Three best goals have to be: Oldaker in the Cup, Barry Fuller (just for scoring!) and I'm sure Eaves has scored a blinder at some point.

Smithy - This was the one I took the most time over, Without doubt THAT Tom Eaves goal at Portsmouth is my number one. Incredible skill against a team that were flying. Enough said. There have been lots of good goals scored so far for many different reasons. I think my 2nd and 3rd place goals would go to Listy at home to Coventry. The way he handled the ball, took it all that way, nearly lost it, got it back under control and from such a tight angle netted was incredible. Superb one man goal, And perhaps a slightly controversial one, I quite like a poacher and Max Ehmer at Donny is up there for me. Appears at the back, chests it down and hits it. Infact he did the same at Hartlepool in the FA Cup replay so perhaps his trademark!

Marc - Tom Eaves away at Portsmouth - Elliot List away to Coventry - Barry Fuller away to Shrewsbury I think?

Stocky - Luke o Neill free kick, Eaves wonder goal against Pompey and the rarity that is a Barry Fuller goal vs Donny.

Loonpotter -  Eaves chip over the head and volley wins it.

Louis - Tom Eaves vs Portsmouth, Darren Oldaker v Slough, Barry Fuller v Doncaster.

Matthew - Elliot List goal against Cardiff because he placed it perfectly. Tom Eaves goal against Portsmouth. To read it from the air was amazing. Oldakers goal in the fa cup against Slough. To score from that far out is amazing.

Gills Debate -  The number one pick for me would be Eaves’ strike against Portsmouth back in October. I thought that the technique to control the ball, flick it up and swivel, and then finish powerfully past the goalkeeper was superb. There have been a few other contenders so far this season, but I’ll go with Oldaker’s goal against Slough Town and Fuller’s goal against Doncaster Rovers as my other two to make up the top 3.

Lewis -  Tom Eaves’ first at Portsmouth gets number one for sure. What’s the saying? Great feet for a big man? Elliott List takes number two with his incredible solo effort at home to Coventry, and number 3 is Barry Fuller’s screamer at Doncaster, for who it was as well as the strike.

12. IF YOU WERE TO GIVE GILLINGHAM A MARK OUT OF TEN, TEN BEING THE HIGHEST AND ZERO BEING THE LOWEST, WHAT MARK OUT OF TEN WOULD YOU GIVE GILLINGHAM AT THIS STAGE OF THE SEASON ???

Richard - FOUR

Luke - 6 out of 10

Emlyn - I would have to give a 5.5...purely because of our current league position!

ForzaGills - 5/10 – as I’ve said we can’t be expecting playoffs given our budget and squad but there have been some shocking performances this season. On the flipside we’ve played well on occasions and deserved more from some games. We’ve been rather inconsistent though, hence the 5.

We_Need_Eaves - FOUR

Dave - I will give it 6.5. Nothing is perfect so that is one thing. Our league one form needs to be better, we need to climb up the league and stay away from relegation trouble. The FA Cup run helps boost this. The win over Cardiff will live long in the memory, regardless of how the season pans out.

BQGillsFan - Only a 3. We are flirting with relegation again and whilst the Cardiff result was a nice distraction, we look woeful in the league and I genuinely fear we may be dancing with death one too many times and League Two is calling.

Mac - 3.5/10.

Colin - Four out of Ten. Must do better.

Rob - Probably a 6. We're doing as well as expected. Most fans anticipated another season of struggling to stay up and that is what has happened. Perhaps the second half will be more fruitful.

Smithy -  Marks out of 10, I think a 6-7 personally. We've done ok, it's not been great in parts but we've had some good results and I think we can start pushing on now.

Marc -  5 - we’re consistently inconsistent. We’ve had chances to pull away from the bottom 4 but seem to fall short a lot of the time, for every good result two or three bad ones seem to follow.

Stocky -  I would give it a 6 which is about standard for an inconsistent side. There's times we've looked like a good side yet other times where we've  been frustratingly bad.

Loonpotter -  4 out of 10.

Louis - 3/10.

Matthew - I would give is a 3 because we need to start wining more games to get us out of the relegation battle.

Gills Debate -  I’ll stick with what I believe I went for last time and go for a 5.5 At the beginning of the season I had hopes that we could have a campaign where we spent the majority of the time in mid table, and not in or around the relegation places, but unfortunately that hasn’t really turned out to be the case. There have certainly been some good performances this season and some enjoyable games, but there have also been too many poor showings.

Lewis -  Probably a 3, that sort of area. I had high hopes after the first 3 games (including Millwall), but now we’re in another relegation fight and I can’t help but feel we shouldn’t be, because we have potential to be good - we just haven’t been too often this season. I find myself at another point where I can’t wait for the season to end yet again. 

 13. AT THE START OF THE SEASON, I ASKED GILLINGHAM SUPPORTERS FOR THERE PREDICTIONS ON WHERE DO YOU THINK GILLINGHAM WILL FINISH IN LEAGUE ONE THIS SEASON, SO AFTER THIRTY LEAGUE GAMES, WHERE DO YOU THINK GILLINGHAM WILL FINISH IN LEAGUE ONE THIS SEASON ???

Richard - Heart says 20th or higher...maybe 19th if we push.

Luke - I shall stick with my prediction earlier in the year and say somewhere in the top 24.

Emlyn - I think we will finish 14th.

ForzaGills - I’d like to think we’ll finish lower mid-table, maybe 15th. At this stage though I’d probably take anything above the dotted line, there are some big teams in and around the relegation zone who have started picking up points and its getting tighter and tighter down there.

We_Need_Eaves -  19th

Dave - I think Gills will avoid relegation and come in the bottom half of mid table. So anything from 14th-18th.

BQGillsFan - I can never bet on the boys going down so I'll say we will finish 20th, just narrowly avoiding the drop.

Mac - 19th.

Colin - I think we will just about survive avoiding the drop by a couple of points. Let's say 18th.

Rob - I think we'll finish in a similar position to where we are now. I would hope that we are safe with a few weeks of the season remaining, but this is Gillingham and we never do it the easy way. I'd love for us to have a good run of 6-7 games and just pull away to mid table, but I can't see it happening unless the new signings all make a big impact.

Smithy -  At the start of the campaign I didn't predict a finish, however I did think we could end the season relatively comfortable. I genuinely believe we'll avoid relegation, I think we could pull up a few places. I think an optimistic 15th would be an okay finish to an up and down season.

Marc -  I think we’ll finish where we are now. Hopefully I’m wrong and now we have some new players in we can go on a run and pull away from that dotted line.

Stocky - I think we have enough about us to stay up and believe there are 4 teams worse than us. I think it'll be hit and miss throughout the season but we will end up staying up by about 5+ points. I predict an 18th-19th placed finish.

Loonpotter -  20th.

Louis - 17th.

Matthew - Still think mid table hopefully with games in hand.

Gills Debate - My hope is that the new signings will give us something extra that will ensure we don’t spend the final couple of games of the season battling to stay in the division. I’ll go with 15th.

Lewis - These last few weeks is the first time I’ve been seriously worried about relegation this season. We slipped in there against Coventry, but the Eaves penalty bailed us out. I’m not sure if I’m kidding myself because I think we have a lot of talent, but I think we’re too good to go down (touch wood). I think we’ll end up where we are now - 19th.

14. HOW WOULD YOU RATE GILLINGHAM’S PERFORMANCES IN THE DOMESTIC CUP COMPETITIONS THIS SEASON ???

Richard - Let's face it, only really 1 good game out of 4 in FA Cup. Struggled past Hartlepool in 1st round, just past Slough then a great result v Cardiff. A good cup run should hopefully give them confidence though.

Luke - Checkatrade Trophy: Pants but who cares?

Carabao Cup: Unlucky with the penalty shootout with Millwall but it is what it is.

FA Cup: Good effort, nice to get to the 4th Round for the first time in 15 years.

Kent Senior Cup: Still in it at the Semi-Final stage, could we actually win something ???

Emlyn - Pleased with the cups - We drew with a championship side and unfortunately went out on penalties in Carbao cup, that could have gone the other way!, And The FA Cup was great, it was nice to make the 4th round, the best one for quite some time.

ForzaGills - The FA Cup run was great fun and well overdue. The League Cup campaign was over in August and the Checkatrade trophy was non-existent. But we surpassed all expectations in beating Cardiff and getting to the fourth round in the FA Cup, I just hope it can become more of a regular occurrence.

We_Need_Eaves - Poor. Rode our luck vs Cardiff.

Dave - I think in the League Cup and EFL Trophy we were underwhelming because we got knocked out at the first hurdle. However, I think they were competitions that we were not totally fussed about progressing in. As nice as a wembley trip would have been, even if it is the EFL Trophy. The FA Cup as I stated above was a great campaign, we managed to get over two tough hurdles in the opening two rounds, then overcome premier league opposition. We even got to visit a new ground because of it with the Liberty. Hopefully we have something similar next year.

BQGillsFan - The FA Cup run was nice,  especially the Cardiff win. The other cups I've genuinely forgotten how they went and can't be bothered to Google it.

Mac - Quality.

Colin - Anything would have been an improvement but to beat Cardiff's reserves was a fantastic achievement. The way we got to round three wasn't much to shout about. We didn't do anything in the other competitions. Maybe we can win the Kent Senior Cup.

Rob - Unexpected. When we were draw to a non-league side (twice!), I fully expected us to have another humiliating cup exit, especially when going to a reply. Luckily, a last minute goal saved us against Hartlepool and an inspirational performance against Cardiff sent us through to the 4th round for the first time in ages. I wasn't overly surprised to see Swansea away was just a step too far.

Smithy - Cup competitions have seemed fairly unimportant in my opinion. Other than the FA Cup.

Caraboa Cup, poor. Simple as. Going out in the first round is never great in any competition.

Checkatrade, the fan favourite! Again it was awful,  I don't really have anything to say about it. I'm not for it personally.

As for the FA Cup, yeah I'm happy. I think we did ourselves proud. Going out in the manner we did was unjust in my opinion but we took a lot of support to South Wales, we got behind the boys and we did manage to knock a Premier League side out on the way. I'd have loved nothing more than to see us progress of course, but for a team in our position we focus on the league now.

Marc - Obviously the FA cup run was an enjoyable one but the other two competitions aren’t too memorable. The checkatrade competition needs a major revamp to get fans interested in the competition again.

Stocky - I think it's been good overall. On paper, we wasn't expected to beat millwall and took them to penalties in the league cup. The check a trade is much maligned and although I don't like the club losing any game, it's the least important of the competitions. The fa cup has been the obvious highlight although we made a pigs ear of it drawing to Hartlepool at home, salvaging extra time in the replay and perhaps riding our luck at times against Slough. That home Game against Cardiff however was something else; one of the best atmospheres in a long time. Unfortunately Swansea was a step too far.

Loonpotter -  I thought they performed well against Cardiff but no other performances to note,  excited me.

Louis - The FA Cup run has been fantastic, I waited all my life for Gillingham to beat a premier league side and it was fantastic to beat Cardiff. Didn’t get the result we wanted against Swansea but was still a class day out.

Matthew - The fa cup run was amazing and to get to the fourth round is great for the club. The game against Cardiff was the best to win the way we did.

Gills Debate -  I’m pretty happy with what we’ve done in the domestic cups this season. It was disappointing to go out in the group stage of the Checkatrade Trophy, as while I don’t agree with the changes that have happened to the format of the competition, I’d have preferred for us to get through a few rounds but it’s clearly not that important in the grand scheme of things! It was also disappointing to go out of the Carabao Cup in the 1st round, but the performance at the time was quite encouraging. The big success though has been our run in the FA Cup, to get through to the 4th round via a victory over a Premier League side in the 3rd round was great, even if we didn’t do things the easy way against Hartlepool United and Slough Town!

Lewis -  We’ll forget the Checkatrade Trophy - that was awful. The Millwall game in the Carabao Cup was impressive, it was just a shame we couldn’t take the penalties to save our lives. The FA Cup was a bit overrated because, apart from the Cardiff game, I think we were poor. We had to go to a replay against non league Hartlepool, and we scraped past an even lower ranked Slough, after they dominated a lot of the game. The Cardiff game was great, and I had a lot of fun, but at Swansea we were poor again. I enjoyed the run, but it was very up and down emotionally!  

15. AND FINALLY, IS THERE ANYTHING ELSE YOU WISH TO ADD (EXAMPLE: IS THERE SOMETHING I HAVE NOT COVERED IN THE FOURTEEN QUESTIONS ASKED ABOVE YOU WANT TO EXPAND UPON) ???

Richard - Lot of criticism about Scally and he's given the team backing this window. If we do go down, the players, manager and coaches will have to take the blame.

Luke - Paella. If i sit in the Rainham End, I always get the Paella before a game and I have to say, its been a hit and miss this season so up the effort please caterers. It used to be very good so lets get back to those levels. Anyways Up the Gills!

Emlyn -  Nothing to add!

ForzaGills - Nothing To Add!

We_Need_Eaves - Really concerned that as our home attendances dwindle due to poor home form how will we finance better signings next season? Have we done enough ‘kid a quid’ offers to boost future potential fans?

Dave -  Nothing To Add.

BQGillsFan - The main thing now is going into these final games of the season, I'd urge all Gillingham fans to get behind the team 110%. We need to show all our love for the boys between now and the final game of the season and hopefully will them on to survival.

Mac - Nothing To Add.

Colin - I do think that Mr.Scally after a long and eventful tenure with many highs as well as the more recent lows should pass on the baton to someone who can rebuild trust with the fans.

Rob - Not particularly. I said before the season that I was hoping for stability and no nonsense comments from the Chairman – that was broken within days. His dream of a stadium is continuing and a leaked investment brochure created much excitement and amusement on the forums. I still think that a new stadium that generates revenue 365 days a year is the way to go. Ultimately, I know that our Chairman has neither the resources nor the aptitude to create such a scheme. Accepted planning permission on a site where the land is secure would be a massive boost for any future new owner. We can all dream.

Smithy - Nothing To Add.

Marc - Nothing To Add.

Stocky -  I think everything's been covered but all I would say whatever your view on scally/Lovell and whether you want them in or out, let's get behind the team and try to make a difference to their performance to pull us away from trouble.

Loonpotter -  Nothing To Add.

Louis - Nothing To Add.

Matthew - Nothing To Add.

Gills Debate - Nothing more to add.

Lewis - The only thing to say is I wish we’d stop letting players’ contracts run down. We’re going to lose our most valuable asset, Tom Eaves, for nothing in the summer, and that shouldn’t happen. Apart from that, thanks to Lee for asking me to participate, and up the Gills!

Once again, thank you to everyone for participating in this blog, and if anyone who is reading this who wishes to participate in the end of season blog, then feel free to send me a message, and your more than welcome to participate in The Gillingham Supporters Blog for the end of The 2018 / 2019 Season, Let’s Hope Gillingham can pick up enough points between now and the end of the season to retain Gillingham’s League One Status and avoid relegation (or potentially achieve something higher then avoid the drop) - COME ON THE GILLS!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[lhassinu]

For the fandom meme, could i ask for either kekkai sensen or kill la kill (or, if you haven't gotten this ask already, fma/fmab?)

aaa thank you!! ill do Kekkai Sensen and FMA because although i still love KLK i cant remember any of their names so it is just embarrassing.... 

fmaB (i still havent finished fma03 sHAME ON ME i know i knowww)

The first character I first fell in love with: well i love them all so much now i honestly cant rememeber who was my First Fav?............it was Greed wasnt it of course it was because years ago i saw a gifset of his death on my dash and i was in my No-More-Weeb-Shit phase (lmao how long did that last..not) so i just went to my friend to explain that i have feels about this dying piece of bacon and who the heck is he so i dont have to watch the show.. and like year later i ended up watchin said show anyway and to no one’s surprise Greed fuckin wrecked me.

The character I never expected to love as much as I do now: so many!!! Paninya, Ed, Maria Ross, Lan Fan, all the chimeras (okay my furry ass should have probably expected those...) but yea obviously the unexpected love par excellence was Envy. .  . i was fine until that piece of shit drama queen lizard stepped on that fuckin snow mine and got blasted off and i just wheezed and then suddenly feels and i just fell in love with every tantrum n move they did and started focusin on their issues and just. welp. 

The character everyone else loves that I don’t: Roy sorry everyone... :// and not just because of the lizard barbeque but that sure didnt helpThe character I love that everyone else hates: every minor character is at least somehow popular so im not complaining but lets say chimera squads again? Darrius and Heinkel of course but Devil’s nest ones especially deserved better ;A;The character I used to love but don’t any longer: hmmmmmm maybe Roy’s team? like i still love them and they are great but since they are usually associated with Roy in every fanart im just ¯\_(ツ)_/¯  The character I would totally smooch: Lan Fan The character I’d want to be like: tough choice! i honestly dont know? they are all very good but.. oh i know! Lily!! aka Madame Bradley!!!! she is wonderfulThe character I’d slap: obviously my top list priority is to join the Kicked Envy’s Ass club A pairing that I love: i owe my life to Greedling tbh its all my fav tropes in one... plus obviously all the femslash, mainly Lan Fan/Paninya but Panini/Winry is also good?? And Winry/Sheska.. and Lan Fan/

A pairing that I despise: i dont care much about RoyEd but i dont really have anythin i would Despise.. oh and LinFan mostly because i have such strong otps with both of them and i love their dynamics are friends aaaand Kekkai Sensen!The first character I first fell in love with: i have a flippin Type for my fav characters so of fuckin course it was Zed :’D i even started watchin it for him tbh? i saw an undertale/kekkai sensen crossover fanart with undyne being hyped there is a fish guy and i was like 👀 fish guy 👀 huh. Although who doesnt love Leo tbh five seconds in and i was sold :’) 

The character I never expected to love as much as I do now: hmmmm Femt i think? he seemed kinda cliche at first but now well he is still cliche but also hilarious and i Appreciate. also i guess Black and White? like at first i was kinda meh about them but once i rewatched and also thanks to all of the greelin’s posts i really really appreciate them both?  

The character everyone else loves that I don’t: hmmmmm im quite fond of them all? like i dont really care that much about Klaus but thats not really that i dislike him its just there are others i love more? The character I love that everyone else hates: there is definitely not enough love for Dog&Hummer they are both so Good (tho it makes me kinda mad cuz aGAIN IM FUCKIN PREDICTIBLE so of course they just introduced a two body sharing characters and i was like. yes. my fav.´)   The character I used to love but don’t any longer: i still love them all maybe im a bit colder about KK? i was just really hyped about her and now im not as much? but same as with Klaus, i like her but just not as much as others...   The character I would totally smooch: idkkkkk i guess i would give a lil peck to all of the libra members? for the good work~ and Vivian! The character I’d want to be like: Leo is just Good and Pure and hardworking and selfless and-..... The character I’d slap: Zapp obviously, i love him he is great but deserves good good asskickin to chill a bit.. also his master tbh ...A pairing that I love: i dont actually have many ships in BBB but i really like that headcanon Leo was completely and utterly smitten by both Mackbeth siblings? hm so i guess Leo and Will is a good? 

A pairing that I despise: idk what kind of ships are there even? guess im not into the Leo/Klaus one? shrug

[birdysnow]

Who is your favorite OC? Pls share their backstory I must know👀

to be honest it’s totally Devon. I’ve had him sinceee about the 6th grade, and he’s been concrete since about 7th grade (I’m almost a junior!). He’s so important to me :’). Whenever I feel sad I just work on him or write about him and it cheers me up real fast. 

haha his backstory is a loooong, complicated mess. I literally went on an 1.5-2 hour rant about his backstory at a sleepover once, it was ridiculous how long it took for me to talk about him. I actually wrote a response for this ask yesterday, but it got deleted I hate my life. It was soooo long because I wrote it in the way I speak. You’re probably getting a lot more than you bargained for :’). I’ll put it below the cut so everyone else doesn’t suffer. 

im gonna use bullet points bc i like them and theyre shorter

note: universe is like. sci-fi. there’s space stuff you know

full name: Devon Mateo Westmore

born: August 16th 

a leo!!! do with that what you will

as far as parents go, they’re kinda dicks basically

Devon was a complete accident and he’s kind of treated as such

they’re pretty neglectful?? they really dont give a crap abt him frankly

they’re more interested in making bank with their jobs and turning up

has a sister who’s like graduating or smthn. she’s old. her name’s Lucía. 

she also could give less than a crap about him and had a similar experience with their parents; just wants to be free and have no attachment to this rando baby 

is a total Problem Child™ during school because of his messy life, just wants attention and love really but never really gets it

universally hated by teachers all his life

high school is especially rough he is a disaster

he’s basically like party all day every day bitches bc is parents are never home/probably wouldnt reprimand him for going out anyways

he drinks a lot, does drugs 

he bangs a lot of people irresponsibly. A LOT of people.

is a player tbh he will flirt with anyone. very pansexual. 

makes a lot of (bad) friends 2 fill the Void™ and does a lot of illegal things

anyway fast forward to when he’s like 17-18 and school’s like yep time to graduate!! and hes basically like

but he does graduate in order for the story to move forward

but now he’s like careers????????

all he’s kind of enjoyed is music throughout high school but he’s like thats not what i want to do. 

yolo, he probably says to himself one day. I’ll just join the military and become a space pilot because thats what I wanted to do when i was 8

so BASICALLY i haven’t figured out how I want this space military to work but he ends up in like an academy (he’s like around 19ish) or smthn 

this is where he starts to like chill tf out tbh

he discovers that he likes this a lot?? and he’s like dedicated to it???

a lot of like. coping happens and he has to figure out what kind of person he wants to be and recover™ himself

but yah he does well and he ends up being valedictorian nice going m8 

basically if you’re #1 in your class you get the opportunity to go to this like. school/training thingy. and it’s very exclusive but if you like graduate from their you’re like. set 

its like harvard except you could die there 

yolo, he thinks in yet another life decision he really shouldn’t be taking lightly. I want $$$$ so i’m about to make that place my bitch

he does not make that place his bitch

he suffers so much

by the end of the year/2 years he’s there, he does pretty well

He makes a bunch of good friends, and he gets a ton of experience. he’s really good because of it, as to be expected

while there the top of the class is this girl and her name is Adella

shes my daughter

Devon likes her but she’s like super stand-offish and he’s a party kid so he’s like

“hard pass.”

but he has like mad respect and he thinks she’s chill

the feelings mutual

anyways like RIGHT before they graduate she gets recruited to this special program because she’s top of the class and like disappears he never sees her again

sike

but not for a while at least……………

so like fast forward he’s like 23 maybe

he’s got a good job, he’s living it up really?? he’s just like pretty happy all around he has a life, an apartment, friends

he gets an email from this girl and she’s like yo

I’m Tamara, my mother passed away recently but I discovered that our parents are apparently siblings?? I never knew I had a cousin, I heard you live in the area and I was just wondering if you wanted to get to know each other 

and hes basically like damn if i’m about to pass up this chance!!!!!!!!

Tamara works as a programmer literally one (1) city away 

basically they just?? end up getting along really well?? Devon spends a lot of his off days hanging out with her

he’s so ecstatic to finally have someone who’s his family like she treats him like a little brother

probably Tamara also has a younger sibling, their name is Calix. they work as a doctor and dont see Tamara often but the two are close regardless

they’ll be important later but for rn they’re not relevant

anyway, at some point they make plans for Devon to meet Tamara and he ends up at her work

and she’s chilling with this guy who is absolutely

fucking

gorgeous

Devon’s sure he died, right there, behind a goddamn cubicle,,

he’s frantically trying to think up something suave to say (are you the only tennessee no– wait–) when Tamara notices him

she introduces him to her hot friend, his name is Shay

Devon tries to play it cool

“Hey would you mind if Shay came w–”

“NO NOT AT ALL I WOULDNT MIND”

they go out for lunch

he chills out a little bit on the way enough to be his usual self

Shay mistakes flirting for good-natured joking

Devon suffers

They exchange numbers 

cue pining 

Shay continues to be oblivious

He has to be told point blank by Tamara whos like “Please, for the love of all that is good, fuck him go on a date with my cousin.”

“Has he been asking me on dates every time he takes me out?? every time??”

I love Shay so much u dont even know

Shay is basically a really pure and happy person, literally nothing can get him down ever he’s just trying to live his best life

he’s everything to Devon, he’s so sunshiney and nice and Devon has just been through some stuff and his life is going well and now he has been blessed with this beautiful, perfect boy….,,,

it’s not like Devon has never dated anyone before, most of his relationships have been purely physical but he’s been in romantic relationships w people

but this is like. it he knows it. 

they date for about a year, everything’s fantastic

and then

things are heating up politically, and Devon’s in the military so they need him somewhere else

right now everyones living in like?? around india somewhere and they need him in like. canada.

hes understandably upset

he’s gotta move. acROSS THE GLOBE.

he’s not going to break up with bae but they’ve got to talk through this like Adults™

so they talk through it

and Shay’s basically like

“fuck no, i’m moving with you idiot

did you think you were just going to move away from me bench?? sike”

they move in together

I used to have their apartment layout drawn up on homestyler but they reset the system and it’s gone into the void so i’ll have to remake it :’)

so now they’re moved in which is super great everything is popping

remember Calix? they’re relevant again

basically, Calix has been dating this girl for a while now and they’ve gotten serious but their relationship is not working out because she is a mess tbh and they love each other very much but they are not good for each other

Calix isn’t emotionally receiving or helpful he’s very blunt so they end up splitting up because she doesn’t need a relationship  

Said girl is Adella

Adella is a mess basically

the program she was recruited for made her very successful, very well known in her field and in a lot of ways, among common people

but downside is there was a lot of government dirty work she was kind of pressured into doing

there’s also a lot of hush hush skirmish’s that have been occurring that she had to stop

she’s been struggling with depression for a lot of her life and she has PTSD so when her contract is up she decides to take a break™ 

her and Calix’s relationship kind of falls apart but she’s friends with Tamara and she’s like I need to leave somewhere and get out of this messiness, i’m going to move back home (Canada)

Tamara is like

LIGHTBULB DING DING DING

she doesn’t think that Adella shoudnt be on her own, she wants someone to supervise her and make sure she doesnt accidentally starve or smthn

she has the best intentions but she kind of tricks Devon and Shay tbh

“Hey you guys got an apartment with an extra room?? Can you take in my friend for a while, she’ll pay rent, she has a job she’s just trying to find a nice place to live but she needs to move to the area rn”

the two of them are like “yeah sure lol sounds legit tammy we ly

Adella shows up on their doorstep with the intention to live there for like 2 years

cue Shay internally flipping his shit over this lowkey celebrity whos going to LIVE in HIS APARTMENT DEVON DID YOU CLEAN THE KITCHEN

Devon is not phased 

he knows Adella from school so he’s just kind of like hey its u whats banging girlie

he basically just treats her like normal and she is so appreciative 

basically they become SQUAD i love them and thats the beginning of my story and thus ends background 

i’m sorry this was so long i tried so hard but i got carried away. double sorry for taking so long I have like 3 end of school projects due rip me

Thank you so much for asking!! I can’t tell you how much it means to me :’)) If you made it this far through my story I applaud you. thanks for reading!!! Feel free to message me if you have any questions 

[firemama]

sometimes i like to think about the Steven Universe metaphor from Mindful Education, using the butterfly metaphor for dealing with emotional turmoil. How the butterflies would work and how my characters would react on this metaphorical scape with one another. 

Many of you know my character Sayrus. For him i think he’s like Sapphire’s reaction. for the most part he’s okay, but then one butterfly shows up, one problem. and then another. and another. and more. and more. and more. they swarm him fast and a moment ago he was happy and joking around, but someone said something that made him think of this, and then that, and then all these things, and the next moment he starts losing it. He’d run from them and if he couldn't, he’d fight and attack them, and if he couldn't, he’d recede. close in until he was gone. Realistically it would look like Denial/Avoidance of the topic, panic/bitter comment/outrage, and at its worse it becomes the complete mental lapse where hes losing himself and crushing his surroundings and sobbing to himself. It’s not aseasy to save himfrom his swarm as it is for Sapphire; a loved one just isnt quite enough to make him stop lookng only at them. it’s hard to get his attention away from the problems long enough that he can calm down from the panic, but once you do, He’s okay again. this was never an easy feat for anyone, though, not even those he loved; when he’s attacked by his swarm he can be dangerous physically, and he had a way with words and paranoid raving that prevented those to help him. the best ways he managed to distract himself from his butterflies was burying himself in work, never resting too long less he think too much, constant facades and a streak of a pathological liar, alcohol, and vicious torture in The Pit. He never really escapes his butterflies.

If i look at Chelo, im conflicted with two different ways that Chelo functions. The normal everyday Chelo is furiously plagued by the swarms of butterflies, and she ignores them. they swarm about in a dangerous hurricane around her constantly as she walks about her life, but do not come close enough to touch her. Chelo is content and although the visual is frightening at first look, Chelo seems calm with these things. accepting. The second way, however, is if one strays too close. something a little too much hapens one day, a butterfly falls directly upon her, something just too much. Chelo snaps in the mannor of Ruby. that one insignificant butterfly that seemed to have done something so miniscule prompts the outrage and hateful attacks. Physical swatting and stomping on this single butterfly enough to crush the whole fleet. Unloading everything on one unsuspecting person wh crossed chelo in some insignificant manner. and then the misery sets in soon following, like grieving for the violent, merciless behavior toward it, the same frustrated and pained, angry tears as rubby exhibits, accept rather than yelling and and shouting, Chelo is much, much more violent and actually attacks.And again, unlike ruby, cannot calm herself down even as she realizes she has gone too far on something small. She is bitter and cant apologize, She looks up around her at all the problems, gives a single sigh of a person carrying a million pounds, and continues. 

Svet’s always a fun one to think about. his analogy changes to me, sometimes, because he’s such a fluid personality. it’s hard to tell what his butterflies would even be at times. If he could even have them. Things that weigh upon him normally absolve from him quickly- or so it would seem. Svet walks through his life sure footed and bright. one at a time little butterflies visit him, sitting upon his shoulders comfortable, and he doesnt dislodge them, seeming to welcome them. Svet welcomes most if not all aspects of life, including the pain and sadnesses. he grieves only for short periods, he moves on with his life, he’s unattached to these butterflies and he knows that, even if they touch them, they are not tied to hime, they will go on with life just as he does. many of his butterflies leave hime as he goes. But the longer you watch, you start to see that these butterflies, which seem so light on his shoulders, even though they come and go, there are... there are many of them. his pace is slowing as he walks through his life. some of these butterflies have not left his shoulders- no, they have grown onto him. these things he thinks are not attacked to him are, indeed. they have attached and feed off him. the grow, never leaving, getting heavier the more he ignores them. Maybe once in a while a butterfly overstays itself, or one comes along that is just too big for him to carry. The onsight you see is a horrifying image of a calm, slow burning rage. The butterflies with him in their great numbers burn alive, and suffer. He is vengeful, and while he welcomes all things in life- betrayal, hate, pain- if you step too far, you can see the rage of a wrathful, merciless god as he is. But, that rarely happens, oh, no. At most you can watch him walking though life, looking back at the long, long life he’s lived, the many, uncountable butterflies that cling to his shoulders and feed upon him, and watch his steps slow as the path in front of him only holds more and more butterflies flying toward him. You marvel how Svet can hold them all and yet keep walking forward. Until you start to see him falling under the weight. You, as am I, are curious to see what happens when he cant hold them all anymore.

One of my dearest characters ever, im sure some of you can tell, is a character by the name Koyol, aka Kyle. he’s been featured at some point in any character i’ve ever played. As a crucial Brother and Close Friend to Sayrus, as a strongly Trusted advisor to Svet, as a kindhearted guardian who watches out for Chelovek, as a calming if not spooky figure to others who interact with him. Koyol is most interesting to play because a key part of himself is an entirely second person, Koheu. Kyle and Koheu walk the mindscape of life side by side just as Kyle and Koheu share a body outside the analogy. However, the butterflies never reach Koheu; passing through him, he cannot even see them. Koheu, Ender of Worlds, has no sense of regret, no guilt, no sadness, no anger. A creature of only one ‘feeling’, a hatred specifically only for Kyle, Koheu’s only desire is to harm Kyle in any means. Kyle by contrary is a mob of pain, loss, suffering, fear, anger, sadness, guilt, and regret. The butterflies are constantly trying to drown him, even without Koheu. But, Koheu himself, produces more; more and more butterflies, more pain, it swarms to Koheu but falls upon Kyle. They follow him in a trail for miles, they cover his person, and still, Koheu fights kyle the whole way. Kyle, unfortunately, has stopped walking by now. He no longer sees a point in his own life, and he doesnt care if he died- sometimes even going so far as hinting that it would be better if he were indeed dead, as it would kill Koheu once and for all. Kyle is alive to this day only because he just hasnt happened to die yet, and as a person who cant even make facial expression, who cant scream, who has great difficulty explaining a fraction of his own emotions- his reaction to the butterflies is inaction. a constant internal screaming, a swirl of confusion, and yet a calm stillness that when looked upon would make him seem almost as if he, like Koheu, cannot see or feel the butterflies, like a serene stranger amidst life. Kyle appears to have never had a butterfly before to someone who doesnt know him well. But there are so many, there is no possible, actual way to save him from them. he cannot be distracted. he cannot be saves. this the fact of Koyol the Immortal. He will most likely suffer for the rest of his life with Koheu and the ever growing butterflies.

i think of less used characters, too. i have, uh, too many OCs. deffinitely not going to list them all in this post, i mean, ive only talked about 4 characters and this post is long. if i talked about them all... well, i mean, just to start with, Koyol’s Rainbow Squad has 99 Top Operatives (see above for Kyle and his 4 Lead Operatives; from Left to right, 4th in command Sammy Sylvette Dalphinius aka True Orange and code named The Soldier Kid, 2nd command Monilisa Cana Veronica aka True Blue and codenamed Mona Bright, Head command Koyol Bessmertnyy aka True Green and codenamed Universe, Secondary Head command Kal Kyazukyiito aka True Violet and codenamed The Twoheaded Knight, and lastly third command Belladonna Amalia Scentry aka True Pink and codenamed Spider, all of which in Realism World Disguise (meaning this is not how they all normally look)), not including any of the lesser Colorguard, or any of the Color Trainees and other children housed there or the other affiliates... i mean, Koyol’s Rainbow Squad and Nomadic Cohorts is somewhere around 400 characters the last time i compiled and counted them all. 

Im sure this post is annoyingly long and believe me ill go on for days just talking about the Rainbow Squad let alone any other OCs i have like Chelo’s family or fellow junk rats, or Svet’s long list of companions in his history or other gods, or the key characters of Sayrus’ massive plant worth of Siblings or his Alternate selves. looootttttssss of characters.loooooootttttsssss of designs, world builds, theory, etc.

[dajoezenone]

THE ZOO ARC (Steven Universe Review)

Confused about how I’m reviewing an entire arc of episodes that has been promoted to release at the end of this month? Well, Cartoon Network put the episodes on their website without warning last night. And I watched em. 

But you dont care about that. Lets talk about the episodes. I’ll be as spoiler free as I can but its a pretty intense arc. Just watch it and then come back if you still care. 

The first one starts out by breaking the cardinal rule of the show: STEVEN PUTS STUFF TOGETHER AND ASKS QUESTIONS ON HIS OWN.  Except, not really. His questions come up because his dream powers are causing his mind to connect with that of Blue Diamond. Side note: any other time Steven’s dream powers have acted up, its because Steven is thinking about the person as he falls asleep, or otherwise because he lucid dreams his way there intentionally. This time it is COMPLETELY unprompted as far as I know, and its not really said why. But thats okay. 

Anyways, its really Connie that puts together that she’s seen the thing in Steven’s dream before, and thats the only thing she does this whole arc. While we’re on the subject, Lapis and Peridot show up momentarily in the subsequent episode only to also get left out of the entire rest of it. The three are told that if anything happens while the main crew is gone, they must defend Beach City and the earth, which shows how much the Gems trust them, but since, to our knowledge, nothing really happens, it doesnt mean anything really. I really want to see the three of them interact on some kind of mission sometime soon though. That would be really fun and solidify the three of them not only as Crystal Gems, but as a team themselves. I’d really like that. 

Anyways, Greg and Steven go off in search of answers to what really happened to Pink Diamond, and do so by flying to Korea in Andy’s plane. They have a nice touristy montage through Korea, and then end up at the Palanquin. There, they find Blue Diamond, who is mourning Pink. Greg has a nice moment where he connects with her, where he tells her he knows how she feels and what she’s going through. Its a really good scene. The two characters aren’t ones you’d expect to connect. The parallel is nice, not expected, and really clever. Its emotional, and genuine. Its also interesting to see Greg do something like this, as its definitely what Steven would do in the situation. I somehow always thought that side of Steven really was from Rose. After all, we’ve seen that she loved everything on the Earth. But... the more we’ve learned about who Rose was, it does make much more sense that having this kind of response to Homeworld things definitely comes from Greg, not Rose. 

Anyways, Greg is dadnapped by Blue Diamond and put into her Human Zoo a few lightyears across Space. 

Steven and the OG CG crew follow in the Roving Eye they stole from the Rubies. Speaking of whom, we see them briefly, and its mentioned that they’ll clean up THAT mess on the way back. The second episode in the arc seems mostly wasted on in-jokes like this. Steven messes with the ship’s controls, and as they go farther beyond the speed of light, it becomes harder and harder for the Gem’s to maintain their form, which results in some not that funny shape shifting shenanigans at first, and some soul-crushing loneliness later. Steven has a revealing, yet predictable emotional moment while the Gems arent able to take form, confessing he feels this is all his fault for asking questions. But the problem is solved and the Gems comfort him. This is by far my least favorite of the five, in case you can’t tell. Its got its moments, but not enough for me to really like it. 

The third episode brings the quality back up though. They arrive at the zoo, and realize they’re going to have to sneak past the Homeworld Gems stationed there. Garnet unfuzes, and Steven and the four Gems start faking their way through the security so they can get to where Greg and the other humans are held.

Something I really like about this episode, and the last one in particular is that each of the Gems that does come along on the journey has to deal with their own little struggle. They all have moments that are unique to their characters, and they’re all balanced well. Ruby, Sapphire, Amethyst, and Pearl all grow as characters, at least a little bit. Pearl is the most obvious, as she is forced to revert to being subservient to the other Gems. Sapphire and Ruby have to be apart again, and the stakes are much higher than in Hit the Diamond. Also, while that largely seemed to focus on Ruby and her interactions with the other Rubies, this focuses a tad more on Sapphire, having to pretend to be in charge of the other Gems, and having to struggle with the knowledge that they WILL fail. Without Ruby, its hard for her to change the course of time she sees before her, and we really see the effects of that. She gets a lot more screentime than she usually does, and its really nice. 

At the base, we’re introduced to the main villain of the arc, a Holly Blue Agate in charge of the Zoo. Compared to Peridot, Jasper and even Lapis, she’s relatively mediocre, and I kinda doubt she’ll ever become as important as those Homeworld Gems, but she does her job well. She’s super uptight and perfectionist, and while she clearly enjoys her work on the Zoo (expressing delight at both the new human arrivals) 5,000 years of dealing with the squadron of Amethysts and other Earth Gems that crew the station is clearly wearing on her. Any tiny thing that goes wrong, she blames on them, which is really nice for our heroes, but at the same time only allows them to see how ferocious she would be to them if she found them out. Even Steven never really tries to befriend Holly Blue. She manages to be scary while also hardly raising her voice. She expects things to work the proper way, and whoever is making things NOT work properly will suffer, if she has anything to say about it. 

Without spoiling how that episode really goes from there, the fourth episode in the arc focuses on what things have been like for Greg actually in the Zoo. And this episode is probably my favorite of the bunch, though the last one is really good as well. The humans in captivity are all very blissfully unaware of how life is. They all seem to be happy, but their lives lack true meaning or love of any kind. The people there are all really nice, albeit childlike and a bit weird. They’re somewhat entitled, a bit lazy, and all seem to lack any real individuality. But this isn’t a fault of the writers, its just that they’re all just products of the world they live in. Even Greg is starting to just do what he’s told and exist in this blissful utopia. He only really disobeys it when he discovers that romantic relationships in this world are all predetermined by the automated voices. And Greg doesn’t want a new Romantic relationship. Especially not with any of these people that can’t make decisions on their own. I wont spoil how this one ends either so lets move on to the finale. 

btw, I DO spoil the finale. If you havent’ watched it, just know that its very good and you should watch it. 

The final episode begins Greg and Steven being captured by the Amethysts aboard the Zoo. The have our Amethyst as well, who plays like she’s being held captive before revealing she has befriended them all since the last time we saw her. It turns out that all Earth Gems are about as unruly and immature as our Amethyst is. There’s even a Jasper and a Carnelian from the Beta kindergarten mixed in. The whole gang is delightful, and I wish we got to spend more time with them, but we really only get enough time to see how accepted our Amethyst really is among the rest of the misfits and freaks from Earth. From there, the squad helps hide Steven and Greg from Holly Blue long enough to get them to a large room where we see a bunch of bubbled Rose Quartzes. As they make their way across the giant room, a couple suitably giant gems come in. Blue Diamond and Yellow Diamond. Blue is still depressed about Pink, and Yellow is attempting to cheer her up, so they can get rid of the Roses and the Earth, and move on. 

She sings a song, accompanied by Blue and Yellow Pearl. I dont like it that much. Yellow Diamond’s singing voice annoys me, and Deedee is definitely better as regular Pearl. But, its still really good for what it is, and it allows us to see into Yellow Diamond’s head a little. The Pearls are really fun as well. I love how Yellow Pearl is so opposite of ours. She glories in her diamond’s arrogant sass, and feels so honored whenever she’s addressed, no matter how demeaning the task she’s commanded to do. 

That aside, Greg and Steven regroup with the rest of the squad, and they all manage to make it past the Diamonds without incident. They make it back to the docking bay, and almost make it into the Roving eye, but are caught by Holly Blue. We get a quick fight scene, but its mostly just the Gems showing off. The Agate is apparently more bark than bite, and her squad of Amethysts don’t do much to help, as they’re rooting for their friends over their hated boss. Pearl gets the last laugh, telling Holly Blue why it’d be a bad idea for her to reveal to the Diamonds what just happened, and they fly off into the sunset.

Its a great arc. Definitely bigger and more intense than almost any arc before it, but at the same time, some of the episodes, the second especially, seem really slow. Theyre all just kind of building, and then the last episode, while really great, just kinda wraps up all that setup. Its really great, and it leaves room for the rest of season 4 to be even bigger and more amazing. 

I really hope we see the humans and the Earth Gems of the Zoo again. I imagine we’ll have to, since all the Rose Quartzes are bubbled there. All three groups are native to Earth, and I’d love to see them all return there sometime. But... we’ll see. 

This was a great arc, and a step in a wonderful new direction for the show. Can’t wait for more. 

[cosmicchronicles]

I need to make a call.

Once back to Remiel's house, Kephales steps aside while the rest clean up or head to the kitchen for dinner.

He dials into his pad and puts a small pod to his near invisible earhole.

The phone rings at the precinct in a suburb on Akiton, Keph's old workplace. It rings longer than usual, things are in disarray, but he expected that.

Finally a voice picks up.

"Olanti?"

"Stolle, yeah, is the chief there?"

"Well sure, but... man we're kinda swamped down here. No chance you can spare a moment, huh? Nah, I expect you've got big bad Steward stuff to do." A sense of relief and familiarity seemed to wash over the officers tone.

"Stolle, theres nothing I'd rather do than be there to help Akiton, you know that," the detective lied, "But... I'm actually calling to ask for *your* help."

"Mine??"

"No, the precinct. Can I talk to the chief?"

Stolle, a medium sized ysoki with a beat in the southern part of their suburb where the border abutted the the norther part of the city proper, was a good cop, honest, one of the few, but not the brightest bulb. It worked in his favor most of the time, because he wasnt the type to scheme for bigger busts or sneak away with confiscated goods or play the politicking game with local lawmakers. He was just a Good Guy.

"Sure, Olanti, just gimme a sec."

Keph could hear the noise on the other end. They had to be stretched thin filling in for branches that got hit. But it didnt take long. Soon enough, the tired raspy voice of the chief who clearly hadnt slept in a week greeted him. Ruk had not slept in a week, and if she was being honest, she didn't intend to sleep for another two at least. Undead armies prowled the cities of Akiton, an invading force that seemed both willing and able to pour as many bodies at a problem as necessary to solve it with no mind to how many were lost. Mostly, the precinct had been working at keeping civilians safe and providing what little protection they could. Half the force hadn't shown up to work since the attack, and she didn't know if it was because they were dead, trapped, or simply felt they had more important things to do than attempt to keep peace in the middle of a war.

Still, it was not every day Keph called in, and considering what he'd given-- and lost-- on her watch, well, she wasn't going to not take the call.

"Keph?" She winced at how hoarse her voice sounded; she'd always been gruff, but the complete lack of sleep combined with the smoke weren't doing her any favors.

"Chief, I know this isn't a good time, but I got a big favor to ask you.." he knew it was a bad time, and he knew it wasnt fair; that's the part that bothered him the most. What rivaled that in guikt was the knowledge that there was a selfish aspect to his impending request, and that is to alleviate potential inefficiencies in Fisk's work by removing the distraction of his missing brother. It was mutually beneficial to everyone except the officers at the precinct...and well...anyone who doesnt receive help because bodies have been diverted to a personal request.

Still, what was the point of working for clout and reputation if you never called it in? All of these moral and ethical quandaries circled through Keph's mind in the few beating seconds that passed after his last words.

He leaned against a wall as much as one could when their head protruded so much further than their back.

"A colleague of mine in the field... his brother's not checked in since Akiton went dark. I know what that means, I'm pretty sure he does too, so I'm not calling asking for miracles... but if you could dedicate a few guys to finding him... either way it turns up... it might help his focus. The guy is named Fisk, his missing brother is Twib. The rest of his family is accounted for, I'm sure they can provide you with photos and such...."

He felt worse and worse, but knew he had to try.

"Can you... do that for me?"

The sigh that came over the line was the definition of weary. Ruk knew she didn't have the time or manpower to devote to such a request, but at the same time, she wasn't going to refuse Keph and it was likely he knew that.

"Last known location? Part of a warren? Names of family members I could contact who remain on Akiton? Any other pertinent information?" The ysoki sounded as exhausted as she felt, and the idea of diverting two men to try and find a missing boy in the midst of everything else that was happening certainly didn't help matters. How much more paperwork was going to be needed to get this overlooked by superiors? She could probably finagle a good reason, if she worked hard enough. And if she only diverted one person instead of two and then put herself on the case... Her mind swirled with possibilities, but she needed more information before she could reasonably begin.

"He's from a warren in the Kephak Depot area. I know it's not particularly convenient. I'll forward you details when I...." he broke off, something occurring to him or perhaps the privacy of the call threatened or more likely it was just a hard ask, "I didn't want to tell him I was making this call. I'd prefer this stay between us. Let me see what I can dig up on him and his brother. If I get that information, you'll put someone on it though?"

It felt like he was making a deal. Maybe he was. Shit, Ruk deserved better, but what's done is done.

"Understood, Olanti," she said, coughing slightly. The switch to his last name indicated she was treating this as business. "Send me whatever you can get, but I'll get someone on it now. Kephak Depot? We can spare... We can spare someone, I think. I'll do it myself if I have to."

Unseen by Keph, the older ysoki was shaking her head, one paw pressed to her temples in an attempt at dismissing the headache that was building behind her eyes.

There was a considerable pause. When it came to Keph, he usually already had his next statements pre-planned, but in this case, he was clearly debating how to reply. These were unprecedented times and he knew that.

"Can I do anything for you..?" he tried.

"Not unless you're planning to run the blockade around Akiton just to turn up for the next beat shift," Ruk huffed, "I've lost have the precinct in the last week, we're understaffed as hell and the ones who are still showing up, well. I don't know how much longer they'll be useful. Keph, they've got undead bodies on every corner and--"

There was a choking noise, something akin to holding back tears.

"They're reanimating fallen corpses. I saw Kort two days ago, a hole straight through his chest, wandering the streets." Kort was one of the precinct's "muscles", a massive red-skinned Hylki with few words and an eye for trouble. He'd been Ruk's right hand man, a regular presence at the station and a neighborhood favorite. The mental image of him dead and still walking was no small part of why Ruk wasn't even trying to sleep anymore.

Keph's secondary arms twitched angrily, the equivalent of a clenched jaw and deeply furrowed brow.

"I didn't realize," he said, "I knew Eoxians *could* raise the dead. I didn't realize they were using it as an offensive strategy." He recalled the times he'd checked the news since Akiton fell. It seemed that Pact news was keeping this detail minimized if not hushed all together. It wouldn't matter for long as communications reopen. Everyone will know.

And that meant panic.

"It's effective psychologically as well, isn't it? It's working on you," he took a breath through a number of invisible spiracles, "Ruk, you need to sleep. I know it's hard, but you *will* feel better with a fresh head. This is a long game, and the sooner we start playing, the sooner we stop losing. I promise nothing will happen in the next 6 hours that won't be better dealt with after you've had some rest."

There it is, the guilt. He felt terrible for asking anything. The memory of the day after losing Pad played through his head like a highlight reel of nightmares. It felt like any small favor, even an inquiry, was going to make him snap.

"God, I sound like you," he admitted, knowing he did a pretty poor job of following instructions when the roles were reversed. That was all before the Stewards and The Job.

That garnered a chuckle, barely audible over the line.

"You're not wrong, on either count. I'll... try. To get some rest." Ruk sighed. She knew this had to be dredging up uncomfortable memories for Keph and she hated to put him through that. Guilt plagued her, the knowledge that she was, in part, responsible for the loss of his partner. Hell, she'd partnered them up to begin with, so long ago. She wondered if the contemplative knew her willingness to acquiesce to his personal favor requests was rooted in a pit of shame and self-hatred that she hadn't felt for the loss of any of the other men or women on her squad

"Thanks, Chief. I'll be in touch soon." He reached out a little and felt the humming minds of his nearby colleagues. These little lights were beginning to feel familiar to him and that was a comfort in the end.

"Keph? Stay safe, okay?" It was a request, but it had the tone of an order, the tone she'd use when he worked for her. "I'll keep an eye on my pad for any communiques from you."

The reply would have been a detached acknowledging smile, but from the Chief's side, it was just silence. Now he just had to get through dinner and he could finally be alone.

Alone.

He didnt want to be alone, no Contemplatives did, and for the first time in years, he wasnt. Ever since hed made the decision to bond with the group, there was this static in his mind reminding him of their presence. There is no alone like this, and that's the way it's supposed to be.

Everyone seemed to be adjusting well enough except....*right. Jeredith.*

He did feel a little bad for snapping at him, though the feeling still felt oddly justified. It occurred to him he ought to ask someone else, just to verify he wasbt the only one who thought the mysterious shapeshifter was a little *too* private.

After all, they're supposed to be a team.

He left the wall and floated over to the table, taking a seat across from Taroyn.

((Compilation of a text-based RP))