#help why did tumblr label this as mature what did i doo

[minlicious]

my favorite odysseus is the monster (rawr rawr rawr) lines in no particular order and the reasons i like them:

“and if i gotta drop another infant from the wall so we all don’t die? THEN I’LL BECOME THE MONSTER!! I WILL DEAL THE BLOW!! AND I’LL BECOME THE MONSTER LIKE NOTHING’S EVER KNOWN!!”

dropping astyanax from the wall was one of the hardest moments, the most painful decision for odysseus up to that point so saying that he would go through that again (and more!), perfectly shows how desperate he is to get home and what he is willing to do and to become. and screaming that is freeing and i love that.

“CUT OFF THEIR TAILS! WE’RE ENDING THIS NOW! throw their bodies back in the water. let them drown.”

i love how the first part is really aggressive and you can feel the rage but the “let them drown” is so cold, like he doesn’t even care anymore. that mood change is EVERYTHING. and it is the first time after “monster” we see odysseus doing something monstrous on purpose without struggling.

“exactly.” (after poseidon’s “you can’t kill me”)

that one word has so much power. i can’t even explain it. it’s just argh omg SLAYED. i imagine him either saying it in a similar way he said “let them drown” (that means cold and emotionless) in different beast or with a really smug but threatening (?) grin.

“YOU DIDN’T STOP WHEN I BEGGED YOU! TOLD ME TO CLOSE MY HEART!”

THE EMOTIONS IN HIS VOICE IN THIS WHOLE PART OF THE SONG AHHHHHHH and he tells poseidon that it is his fault, that he could’ve shown mercy, but didn’t and that odysseus is just doing what he told him to do.

[goldenlaquer]

Ok, ok, requests are open and, first of all, I want to say that I love you with my whole heart ❤ Secondly, can I ask for hcs about Gin and Hijikata if their current s/o told them that before she/they met her boyfriend she had a crush on another one? Like Gin's so on Toshi and the other way around? I think it'd be hilarious. Maybe with Sougo's so with a past crush on Toshi too, if it's not too much trouble? Love you

With your whole heart, you say??? I’m positively spoilt rotten! (*꒦ິ���꒦ີ)❤ And this is an interesting ask, so it’s not too much trouble at all.

After finishing, I felt like their reactions were overkill, but who am I kidding? This is Gintama. The word ‘overkill’ doesn’t exist in this universe. 

Gintama Headcanons:

Hijikata Toushirou:

It’s so interesting to see a cigarette automatically combust into smithereens by the time you’re finished. 

The thing is, Hijikata could’ve gone without it. He could’ve truly gone his whole life not knowing. But for some insane reason, you felt the need to tell him that- that-

Hijikata does not yell. He does not yell. (“WHAT. WHY THE FUC--”) He does not yell. His words are peaceful and rational, and definitely not raised squeakishly high to near harpy-levels for all of Edo to hear. And the vein on his forehead is not threatening to pop out of his skin, and he does not, does not, look like he might just explode from the sheer stress that you have sicced on him out of nowhere, because he sure as hell didn’t ask you to tell him that you had fucking crush on that fucking dogshit sleezebag! 

Once you have sufficiently calmed him down with some nice, coaxing words ( “You want some mayonnaise pudding?”), he’s reaching out to tightly grasp at your wrist before you can leave to get the aforementioned pudding. At first, he looks at the floor for a moment before his gaze goes to you, a dark scowl on his face. 

If you think you know him as well as you do, you’d notice that he looks... a bit uneasy. 

Because he is. He refuses to label the feeling welling in his chest as something as pathetic as “insecurity” (that kind of emotion is wasted on a monkey like Yorozuya). It would probably be more accurate to name it as ‘I am currently deeply, deeply unsettled because of you so you better make this right’.

“But,” he starts, pauses, and then starts again. “You definitely don’t like him anymore... right?”

Tell him: OF COURSE NOT. OF COURSE NOT.

Okita Sougo: 

There is silence and then:

“Huh.” 

He finally says, eyes unblinking as he stares at you. More silence. Then he goes back to whatever he was doing before you dropped the bomb on him. 

This is a complete 180 from your expectations. You were expecting... more. Like, maybe a little more explosions and sadistic promises of punishment for even thinking of Hijikata in that way

but nope, there is none of that. Instead, Okita is practically whistling as he walks away from you. It’s astonishing. It’s unnerving. It’s terrifying. 

(Didn’t you just tell him that you liked the guy he’s been trying to kill for the past 10+ years?)

No, he did not suddenly become this benevolent, well-howdy-doody-doo-slap-my-ass-and-call-me-mother-theresa person overnight. He did feel bothered. But the more he thought about it, the more the irritation faded and a sense of catty satisfaction took its place. After all, you had liked him. Liked. Lik(ed). Past tense of ‘to like’. As in, you did like Hijikata at one point, but then woke up after smelling that trash breath and realized that Okita was the far more superior and evolved specimen worth chasing after. Essentially, you had chosen him over Hijikata. The mere thought of it makes him grin and head out to poison his superior’s mayonnaise in celebration.  

Okita coming in hot as Mr. StealYourGirl (except not really, but he spiritually feels that way)

Sakata Gintoki: 

Gintoki would’ve died from the lodged spoon in his throat if you hadn’t jumped up and gave him the Heimlich maneuver.

Yeah, maybe it wasn’t the greatest timing on your part. 

“Y-you-” Gintoki hacks and sputters, slamming his fist on the parfait-covered tabletop. “-you! Are you trying to kill me or something???” 

There aren’t enough apologies for telling him what you told him at the worst possible moment, thus ruining his love-away-from-love relationship with the mistress dessert in question. 

This tumblr author could tell you what Gintoki says to you as he orders five more parfaits to make up for his sabotaged day, but the dramatics go on for nearly thirty minutes and no one has the time to translate all his diva nonsense. But from the way he keeps bringing it up, the parfait probably bothers him more than you telling him about the past crush on Hijikata. 

After, there are two ways Gintoki could go about it: 

The first way. Be petty as hell. For every minor inconvenience that comes your way, keep on mentioning the tax-waster’s name to her like it’s going out of style (”OOohhh, help you open that jar of pickles? Well, why don’t you just call Hijikata over and help you since you like him so much? You wanna break up?” Shut up, Gintoki. You’re just too lazy to open the jar yourself.)

The second way. Forget about it the next day because there’s no way she’d go for Hijikata again after tasting your big fat c--

In which Hijikata gives himself a stroke, Okita is the mature one for once (?), and Gintoki almost dies. 

(I actually had a lot of fun with this. Thanks!)