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backtobackbakubabe · 5 years ago

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I’m Gonna Make This Place Your Home (Part 4)

Bakugo x reader

Runaway reader finds a home with Bakugo, but will trouble follow?

Words : 3175

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Bakugo’s leg bounced up and down as his anxiety climbed. He had left you all alone at the apartment. He got up extra early despite the fact that he had been up most of the night tossing and turning because of another one of your nightmares.

He made you breakfast, left instructions for how to make lunch and even left some emergency cash with a note letting you known where he was going to be, for how long, and a number to reach him at if you needed him. He wanted to be prepared for anything. What he hadn't anticipated was you not calling him at all.

He wasnt some clingy bitch. He knew he didnt need to hold your hand through everything. You were a smart and capable girl. And he needed to chill out.

You had gotten out of bed a little later than usual. Your nightmares had done a number on you and without Bakugo there to drag your ass out of bed you slept way longer than you should have. It was well past noon by the time you were up, showered and dressed. You put on your best outfit and hurried out the door taking the breakfast Bakugo had made to go. You were on a mission. You were going to get a job.

You had the route to the coffee shop memorized at this point but it did take longer than you remembered without Bakugo there to provide small talk on the way.

It wasn’t busy when you finally got there, in fact there were only three people there including you who didnt work there. You confidently strolled up to the counter and asked a very annoyed looking Tasha if they were still hiring.

She raised her eyebrows at you, “You are even dumber than you look...You really want to work here? With me? Do you even have any experience?”

You shrugged ignoring her little jab at you, “Bakugo taught me how to make coffee at home... and I really really love coffee...”

She simply scoffed and rolled her eyes, “Pushing a button on a coffee pot and being a barista are two totally different things.”

You bit your lip and nodded, “Yeah of course... I would never dream of insinuating that your job is easy. But I’m a quick leaner I promise!”

Tasha stared at you for a few nerve wracking moments before rolling her eyes, “You’re lucky it’s not up to me. I’ll go get the manager.” You started to walk away but she grabbed your wrist. Panicking you pulled back but her grip tightened. She looked you straight in the eyes, “Look I shouldn't even be telling you this but I feel like its my job, one woman to another... The manager... he's a little handsy. Just.... be warned.”

You slowly nodded, “Uh... thanks. Does the owner know? About the manager I mean... Bakugo knows him and I’m sure he could help if you want...”

She yanked her hand back from yours, “I can take care of myself thanks. I don’t need a man to fight my battles for me unlike some people I know.”

She turned on her heels and headed to the back office before you could respond. You desperately wanted to help her. Just because she could take care of herself doest mean she should have to. You pulled the note that Bakugo had left you and considered giving him a call but the manager was already walking out of his office and giving you a megawatt smile.

“Well hello there. You must be Y/n. Tasha said you were interested in a job?”

You politely nodded your head, “Yes sir, that would be correct.”

His smile looked so sleazy, “Sir huh? I like the sound of that. Most of the girls around here aren't as respectful as you seem to be. Come take a seat. My name is Riku. I’m the manager here and I just have a few questions before we move any further.” He motioned to one of the couches that you had sat on many times before with Bakugo. But you knew better and your instincts drove you to take one of the single chairs next to the couch.

If he was annoyed by this he hid it well. “So... Y/n. Tell me a little about yourself and why you would like a job here.”

You wiped your sweaty palms on your jeans and cleared your throat. “Well I’d like to work here because I absolutely love coffee, and I really like this place. I come here so often and it’s very cozy. I’ll admit my skills are limited, but I’m a quick leaner and a hard worker.”

He nodded as you spoke, “So what about you. You answered why you want a job but you haven't told me anything about yourself.”

You simply shrugged, “Not much to know honestly. I just uh... moved here. I don’t have many friends yet. I like to read, drink coffee, and my roommate is currently teaching me how to cook.” It felt so weird referring to Bakugo as your roommate. It felt like a lie almost as soon as you said it. But there was no need to dread on it now.

“Are you 18?”

You frowned, “I’m well over 18. Why? Do you have to be 18 to work here or something?”

He shook his head, “I just prefer to have a more... mature staff here. That way we don’t run into any.... childish drama.”

You averted your eyes away from his growing more and more uncomfortable the longer you sat there. “So uh... did I get the job or...”

He leaned over and put his hand on your thigh giving you chills, “Oh yes of course! Come with me and we’ll get you an apron and a name tag.” He stood up, “I hate to ask but would you mind starting today? Tasha, despite being a brat, is our best trainer and she’s here today.”

You swallowed back your instinct to slap him for touching you, “Yeah that shouldn't be a problem.” You allowed yourself to relax as soon as his back was to you. Why were you doing this? Was this job really worth it? Working for a scummy boss and a trainer who for whatever reason hated you... But you needed a job. You couldn’t depend on Bakugo forever.

You followed him behind the counter to what looked like a small break room. It consisted of a table a few chairs and cubbies to put your things. Tasha was currently occupying one of the chairs scrolling through her phone. Riku walked over and squeezed her shoulder, “Okay break time’s over. You need to start training the new girl.”

She looked up from her phone and locked eyes with you, “You’ve got to be fucking kidding me.. you actually hired her?!”

Before he could even respond you sat down next to her, “Yes he did hire me, and I would like to officially burry the hatchet.” You reached your hand out to hers but she didnt take it.

She stood up, “Whatever. Go get your stupid apron and meet me by the register.”

You looked at Riku who just shrugged, “Like I said... she's a brat. But I’m sure she’ll warm up to you eventually.” He handed you and apron, “Now get out there before she throws another fit. I can only handle her in small doses.”

You pulled your hair up into a bun, threw your apron on and scurried out to catch up with Tasha. She was already by the register taping her fingers in annoyance, “Hurry up will ya! I don’t have all day.”

You spent the next several hours learning in great detail about how to ring things into the register. She may not be very nice but she was in fact a great and thorough trainer. You were so excited to move on and start learning about all the machines and what they did. As the day went on she became more patient and her voice started to lose the board and distasteful tone.

It was about an hour before close when the bell rang signaling a customer had walked into the store. Tasha gave you a look. “Alright lets see how much you learned. I’ll let you do this all on your own.”

Giddy with excitement you skipped over to the register, “Hello welcome in! What can I get-” Your eyes locked with a very, VERY, angry Bakugo.

His hands were firmly planted on the counter in between the two of you. “Where the fuck have you been? I go all day without hearing from you then I get home to see that the food I had left for lunch was untouched and you were nowhere to be found! What the fuck Y/n!? Are you trying to kill me! I thought something had happened to you... I thought... I thought.”

You reached your hand out and placed it on top of his, “You thought the worst. I completely understand, and I’m sorry I caused you to panic. I should have called to let you know but I wanted to surprise you... Surprise... I got a job...”

He ran a hand through his hair in frustration, “Well you could have at least left a note..” He was already starting to calm down. As soon as he knew you were okay and safe he found it hard to actually be mad. “You know you don’t need a job right? It’s not like I’m going to start charging you rent..”

You rubbed your thumb over his hand, “Yeah but you should. You’ve been helping me adjust and part of that means I need to make my own money. I cant depend on you forever.”

He scoffed, “Says who? You’re an idiot if you think I’d ever kick you out to fend for yourself. I may be an asshole but I’m not that mean.... Is it even safe for you to have a job.”

You smiled and lightly shrugged, “Why wouldn't it be?”

He narrowed his eyes, “Think about it... A public place where anyone could see you.”

“I’m here practically every day anyways!”

“Yeah but usually you're here with me...” He groaned, “Don’t make me get you a fucking babysitter. Because I fucking will.”

You giggled, “Please Bakugo! It’s part time. I’ll only be here 3 days a week. I really want to do this. I need to do this.”

He groaned again, “Fine. But I’m waiting until you get off and I’m walking you home. It’s late enough as it is and I dont want you walking home alone.”

He started to walk towards one of the couches when you shouted after him, “Well you might as well order something while you wait! You’ll be my first customer.”

He could see how happy you were and it softened him up just the smallest bit, “Alright I’ll take the usual.”

You crinkled your nose, “Your usual or my usual?”

He cocked an eyebrow, “We have the same usual dumbass. You practically forced me to drink that girly cinnamon bun latte shit and now its unfortunately my favorite drink...”

You blushed, “Right.. Coming right up.”

He paid for his coffee and took a seat in his usual spot. The very same couch Riku had tried to get you to sit on earlier. You wondered if you should tell him about that. But you also barley got him to agree to you having a job. Not that he really had a say in what you do, but you still valued his opinion. You knew he would never say no to something unless he truly believed it was harmful in some way.

You skipped around as you made the delicious latte that was also your favorite. Your mouth practically watering, craving one for yourself. When you were done you looked to Tasha. “So did I do it right?”

Looking bored, “Considering how often you guys come in here, and how often I’ve had to make those... Yeah it looked like you did it right...” She took a step closer towards you, “You’ve worked pretty hard today and surprisingly haven't been a pain in my ass so how about I make you another one and you take a quick break with your boyfriend..”

“Oh, Bakugo isn’t my boyfriend. He’s my roommate. I can see why you'd be confused though. He's very protective. Believe me we’re working on that.” You fiddled with the lid of the coffee you had just made, “I just.... I just went through a lot. In a way its like I’m a bit broken and... well he’s taken it upon himself to help me put the pieces back together. Its not his job, and he knows that but he's determined to do it anyways.”

Tasha gave you a regretful look before averting her eyes down to the floor, “I’m sorry... for being a bitch. Not that there’s any excuse but... I basically flirted with him like every day for years and he never even gave me a second look. And then all the sudden you were there and he was so nice and caring to you and I.. I was just a jealous bitch.. I’m sorry I hope you can forgive me.” She picked her eyes up to meet yours, “And just so you're know... He may not be your boyfriend officially, but he's definitely not just your roommate. In my experience guys don't care as much as he does unless they like you.”

You felt yourself blush, “I promise you he doesn't like me the way that you think. He's just a really nice guy... and of course I can forgive you. I’m not the kind of person who holds grudges. Besides... I could really use a friend who isn't Bakugo.”

Tasha smirked a bit, “I dont know if you want me as a friend. I dont know if you’ve heard but I’m kind of a brat.”

You laughed, “You're not so bad. As much as you didn't like me you never once gave me bad coffee. You always made my drink delicious despite hating me and I think that says a lot about you. You also had no reason to warn me about Riku but you did anyways. I think you're better than you give yourself credit for.”

“OI! Dumbass! I know you’re new here but usually you get the persons coffee to them before it gets cold.”

You both laughed and you rolled your eyes, “I better get his majesty his coffee before he explodes.”

You walked over and plopped onto the couch besides Bakugo and handed him his coffee, “Has anyone ever told you you’re impatient?”

He chuckled, “People dont usually have the balls too. But I think I’ve heard someone say that once or twice.”

Tasha came up and handed you your coffee, “Alright just a quick break okay. 15 minutes and then I need to show you how to close up and clean the machines.”

You smiled and took a sip, “Oh this is delicious thanks Tasha!”

You turned back to Bakugo who was giving you such a soft smile.

“What? Why are you looking at me like that.”

He quirked an eyebrow “Is there anyone you cant wrap around your finer? That girl hated you yesterday and now she's smiling at you and making you coffee.”

You shrugged, “I find that being patient and empathetic gets you pretty far in life. You should try its sometime.”

“I think I’ll pass. But I will try this coffee... You didn’t poison it did you?”

“Only a little bit, not enough to kill you though so don’t worry.”

He let out a heavy laugh, “Look at you, picking up on sarcasm already. I’m such bad influence on you.” He took a sip of his coffee and gave you an unreadable look. “Alright Y/n. I have to tell you... this coffee... is fantastic. I will be purchasing a latte machine for the apartment, and your rent will from here on out be you making me coffee. I’m sorry I don’t make the rules.”

You were both laughing when you could hear someone clear their throat behind you. You turned to see Riku crossing his arms across his chest and looking very annoyed, “Y/n... We have a strict fraternization policy. We don’t allow our girls to sit with the customers while on shift for any reason.”

Your hand immediately went to Bakugos arms and squeezed. Trying to signal for him to let you handle it. “Sorry Riku. This is my roommate Bakugo. Tasha said it was okay for me too take a quick break out here before we start closing up.”

Bakugo was staring at Riku but it didnt seem to affect the man what so ever. Instead his eyes just flicked to where you hand was on Bakugo’s arm and he grew even angrier. “I don't care what Tasha said. I’m the manager. All breaks are to be taken in the break room. Employees only. And speaking of closing, it’s about time your little friend left.”

Before you could stop him Bakugo was standing up and getting in Riku’s face, “You may be her boss, but you don’t tell me what to do. It’s late and it’s dark outside. So I’m going to sit my ass down on this couch until she’s ready to leave and then I’m going to walk her home. You got that asshole?”

You were straight up panicking now. What was he doing? Was he trying to get you fired on your first day?! You put your hand on Bakugo’s chest, “Honestly I’m fine. You can wait outside if you want Bakugo it’s no big deal.”

You started to walk back to the counter when Riku grabbed you arm but his eyes remained glued to Bakugo’s, “If you know what's best for you you’ll wait outside. I have the power to make Y/n’s life here.... difficult. If she wants a job here then she has to follow my rules like the good little girl that she is...” He gave your ass a quick slap and that was it... all hell broke loose.

Bakugo had Riku by the neck and pushed against the wall in seconds. His other hand that was sparking furiously up next to his face. “Who the FUCK do you think you're talking to?! I am Ground Mother Fucking Zero! You have NO RIGHT to touch her like that!” His hand got closer to Riku’s now terrified face. His voice dropped an octave and you had to admit it was terrifying, but it was also kind of... hot. “You’re fucking lucky I dont send you to the fucking hospital, but honestly I dont want to deal with the paperwork. So instead I want you to pack your shit like the good little boy that you are.... and get the fuck out. And you better fucking PRAY that I never see you again.”

With that Bakugo threw him to the ground and turned too you. “You sure you need a job?”

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Tags: @theoneforallkiddeku @dexterous-deku @salkandari98 @malibusurfer56

@emotions-and-potions @carolinawindsay @fukyouthink @targaryens-blog @opentheskeletonkey

#bakugo #bakugo katsuki #Katsuki Bakugō #bhna bakugou #bakugo x reader #bakugo x y/n #bakugo imagine #bnha #bnha fanfiction #bnha imagines #bnha x reader #bnha bakugo katsuki #bnha x y/n #mha #mha imagines #mha bakugou #mha x reader #my hero academia

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star-and-the-motherverse · 4 years ago

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Chapter 3 - Earth and the Lost Soul

The Butterfly Who Lost Her Wings

Word Count: 3981 | AO3 Mirror | Previous | Next

Summary: Marco returns to Earth and sets out to right a wrong.

✧·ﾟ: *✧·ﾟ:* ☾ *:·ﾟ✧*:·ﾟ✧

A rift in space opened up in the Diaz family’s living room. Marco emerged from it a second later, dimensional scissors in hand. He was exactly where he had intended to land, in the middle of his living room. But only when the portal had disappeared did he realize that he hadn’t fully thought that decision through.

His mother, Angie, immediately noticed his arrival from her standing place in the kitchen. “Marco, you’re home!”

A cold wave of dread washed over him as he caught sight of his mother’s unknowing smile. She threw her arms around him in a hug, but he was completely lost in his thoughts, dismayed by his realization. I’m going to have to be the one to break the news to everyone in Echo Creek…

“Welcome home.”

“Hi, mom.” Marco tried to politely excuse himself to his room, but Angie wasn’t about to let him go so easily.

“Did you get everything figured out with Star?” she asked, letting up on her grasp. “I know she didn’t leave on the best terms.”

He turned around slowly, opting to stare at the wall behind her instead of making eye contact. “Actually… can we talk about it later? I’m really tired.”

Unfortunately, Angie was smarter than that. “Is everything alright?”

“I’m tired,” he repeated. “I’m really, really tired.”

“Marco?” She could only repeat her son’s name as he turned his back and ascended the stairs without responding further. “Marco!”

He shut his bedroom door behind him, trying to listen through the door. When he was certain that his mother hadn’t followed him in an effort to demand answers, he slid down the wall to a seated position on the floor and sighed heavily, his exhaustion finally starting to catch up with him.

His phone in is pocket was being bombarded by incoming messages, now that he’d returned to a place with cell service. He remained there on the floor for several moments before he was able to convince himself to look through his notifications. There were a lot of unread messages from his friends, mostly Jackie. As he was attempting to read through them, he was bombarded by several new texts from Janna.

Janna: yo diaz

are u home yet?

u better answer me

Because of course Janna somehow knew that he was back on Earth. He supposed it really wasn’t all that surprising, once he thought about it. I’m not sure if I’m in the right headspace to put up with this right now…

Marco: Yeah I am, how did you know that?

Janna: not important

ur gf has been harassing me bc u werent responding

next time maybe give some notice before u disappear?

Guilt flooded over him. She had every right to be upset with him, as far as he was concerned. Everyone did. He was the one who left without notice, and aside from a parting message to Jackie—apparently she had still tried to contact him anyways—no one else in his immediate friend group had known where he was.

Marco: I’m really sorry

I didn’t mean to be gone as long as I was

Janna: save your sorries for your gf dude

u cant just disappear for a week w/o warning and pretend nothings changed. shes got every right to be mad if she is

i kinda do too, lucky for u im not the grudge holding type

did star come back with u or is she like staying on mewni or whatever

Marco collapsed backwards onto his bed, defeated. His phone fell out of his hand, currently of little concern to him, now that he was so lost in his thoughts. There’s just no escaping this, is there? Everything had always been about Star, and everything still was about Star. Just as suddenly as she had crashed into his life, she was gone, and there wasn’t a thing he could do about it. He couldn’t stop thinking about her, about how the last thing she’d thought to do before disappearing in that explosion was to apologize.

A piece of his world had went with her, and he couldn’t help but feel that he was somehow responsible. There had to have been warning signs, right? Should he have done something differently, or done something sooner? “I hate this,” he murmured aloud, burying his face in his hands. “I hate this…”

Star probably hates this, too, he admitted inwardly. She always did everything in her power to be a positive force in people’s lives. The last thing she’d want is for everyone who cared about her to be moping around. I really hope she knew what she was getting herself into…

He finally spared another glance at his phone.

Janna: ???

Marco: Sorry

I don’t know if I want to talk about it right now, if that’s ok

Janna: yeah sure

if things are awkward between u two now thats ur business, not mine

jackie isnt mad at you fr that btw

Marco: For what?

Janna: uh

at the party?

Oh, right, Marco grimaced. Just before she left for Mewni—and subsequently vanished—Star had confessed her feelings for him in front of everyone at their end-of-the-school-year celebration. Even now, he still couldn’t help but hold some resentment towards her for how hasty that decision of hers had been, especially when she knew he was dating Jackie.

It was almost like she knew that was the last time she’d ever see him, and that her true feelings had been a weight on her chest that she could no longer bear to keep bottled up.

And yet, at the same time, his resentment felt unfair. He had no way of knowing when these feelings of hers had actually emerged, but Star never stopped trying to help him get Jackie’s attention. Even once they were finally dating, Star still went out of her way to include both of them in her lives however she could. As much heartache as it likely caused her, she must have valued their friendship over everything else, if she was able to force herself to put up with it for such a long time.

Conflicted feelings about Star aside, he still had overwhelmingly negative memories associated with that party. He preferred to forget about it where possible.

Marco: Gee, thanks for that, Janna

I’d almost forced that party out of my recent memory, but now it’s back.

Janna: sorry lol

Marco: Why would Jackie be mad at me about that? Star having feelings for me doesn’t change anything

Just wondering why you think that

Janna: i dont, im just repeating what she told me

and she told me she wasnt mad at u, sooo

i dont think shes mad at all tbh? that was a week ago anyways

go talk to her urself dude, im no therapist

Marco: Alright

Thanks, Janna

Janna: no prob

Though he did feel a bit guilty for withholding the truth of the situation from Janna, he swore to himself that he’d be honest about what really happened as soon as he felt able to. Janna was a mixed bag, and even though they were friends—at least, I think we’re friends?—he had no idea how she was going to take the information. He wanted to give himself time to come to terms with it all before trying to explain it to his and Star’s friends.

He had some things he needed to take care of, first. There was someone that he needed to apologize to, more than anything. Hopefully she was home.

His door creaked open, and he slowly made his way back down the staircase. His mother looked up from the book she was reading on the couch, her eyes lighting up with concern. “Marco?”

“I’m gonna go see Jackie,” he said quietly.

“Okay…that’s okay.” Angie stood up and crossed the room to stand in front of him cautiously. “Just… if you need to talk, I’m here for you, sweetie.” She extended her arms in an offering for a hug.

“I know.” He accepted her gesture and rested his head on her shoulder. “I just need to talk to her first.”

He headed out to the garage. It didn’t take long for him to wheel his bike out of the garage and suit up. He never really felt like taking his bike out was all that notable. Nothing would compare to when he tried to teach Star a couple months back, but she—

No, stop it, he told himself, shaking his head as if it would help unscramble his thoughts in any way. Stop thinking about her.

He was sure that the last thing Jackie needed was for him to suddenly show up on her doorstep in tears, especially when he had already done such a terrible job of communicating with her during his impromptu trip to Mewni. His only message to her about the entire situation had been incredibly brief.

Marco: I’m going to Mewni to make sure Star is okay. It sounds like something bad is about to go down there. I’ll be back soon, I promise. Love you

If he could go back in time a week, he would have done a better job of explaining himself. But it’s too late to worry about it now. I just need to focus on the present.

Once he’d shut the garage behind him, he headed off in the direction of Jackie’s house. His gaze rarely lifted from the street, and he couldn’t bring himself to make eye contact with any neighbors that he passed, out of fear of encountering someone who’d ask questions or demand answers.

It almost felt like some of the color in his life had been leeched away. The only thing that didn’t look any more faded to him was the moon, which was painted a vibrant and shadowy red, slowly climbing its way out of the magenta-colored morning sky—wait, what?

Marco rubbed his eyes fervently in an effort to snap himself out of it, but it didn’t work. No, his fears were completely correct, and he found himself staring up at the Blood Moon, hovering behind the clouds. It wouldn’t be visible for much longer before it sank behind the trees, but the fact of the matter was that it was here. It was still here, lingering in the background like a silent menace. A shudder ran up his spine as he watched it, unable to look away.

The front wheel of his bike suddenly collided forcefully with the curb, threatening to launch him over the handlebars. Miraculously, he managed to plant a foot on the ground to prevent himself from landing in a heap. He let out a trembling exhale as he stared up at it with an intense gaze.

Okay. Why it’s here isn’t important. You’re here to see Jackie, he repeated in his mind, over and over in the hopes that it would stick. She’s worried about you. You haven’t spoken to her in a week. You need to apologize.

With one last fleeting glance at the moon, he backed his bike away from the curb and continued down the road towards Jackie’s house.

✧·ﾟ: *✧·ﾟ:* ♦ *:·ﾟ✧*:·ﾟ✧

“King River has returned.”

Moon’s gaze snapped up from the book on dimensional travel she had been scouring through. Even if she had publicly said that returning Star wasn’t first on her list of priorities, that didn’t mean that she was about to drop all of her efforts. As she viewed it, her status as as queen was an entirely different person from herself. Queen Butterfly was the one who would look after the kingdom, and Moon was going to find a way to contact her daughter. But hearing the news of her husband’s return reminded her that this situation was far too great in scale to look at it in such a black and white way.

“Is he alright?” she demanded, standing up.

The guard nodded. “He appears to be, yes.”

Moon let out a breath that she hadn’t realized she’d been holding in. “Thank goodness…”

She left her notes behind and quickly followed after the guard. It was a slightly unusual scene that she walked into, as there were several large eagles perched around the foyer. But her husband was there, too, and that was all that mattered to her in that moment.

“Moon-pie!” he exclaimed, his eyes lighting up at the sight of her. Their common formalities were forgotten as both of them rushed towards each other and met with a tight hug in the center of the room. “I’m so glad that you’ve returned safely.”

“And I you,” Moon murmured, pressing a kiss to his cheek. “I didn’t know how much more of this I could take...”

He pulled back from the hug to hold her hands instead. “You know, you really had me worried, leaving so suddenly!”

“I’m so sorry,” she apologized.

“It’s not that I don’t trust you, because I do! But if you and Star had to leave so quickly, it must have been serious...”

She’d sworn to herself that she wouldn’t cry, but her composure was betraying her. “I’m so sorry,” she repeated, her voice choking up on the last syllable.

River frowned in concern. “Did something happen?”

“I-I tried— but I didn’t— Star, s-she— I couldn’t...” River brought a hand up to cup her cheek, and she met his gaze with sad, watery eyes.

“Moon-pie?”

She lurched forwards and buried her face in his shoulder, holding him close as tears began to flow freely.

The few knights that were left in the room lowered their heads and excused themselves from the room, granting them both some privacy.

✧·ﾟ: *✧·ﾟ:* ☾ *:·ﾟ✧*:·ﾟ✧

After a very brief internal pep talk, Marco was finally able to convince himself to knock on Jackie’s door. As anxious as he was to see her, he tried to focus on the floor as he waited, in the hopes of not overthinking anything.

When the door finally opened and he was face to face with her for the first time in an incredibly long week, he felt a grin take shape on his face. “Hey, Jackie—“

“Marco!” She darted forwards and caught him in a tight hug. “God, I was so worried about you, doofus!”

“Yeah, yeah, I know. I’m the worst.”

“No you’re not,“ she argued, holding him tighter. “I saw your message… but I sort of hoped you brought your phone anyways, just in case.”

“I can’t exactly get cell service on Mewni. Earth phones don’t work there,” he reminded her, chuckling halfheartedly. She laughed too, and it managed to brighten his smile a little. There was something comforting and familiar about hearing her laugh.

“I know! I know, it’s just… you left without much of a warning at all. First Star, and then you… you guys really scared all of us.”

“I’m really sorry. I should’ve talked to you first. I didn’t mean to make you worry so much.”

“It’s okay, Marco. I know you didn’t mean to.”

A beat of silence passed as he tried to think of what to say and she patiently waited. Where do I even start?

“Do you think we can go sit down and talk about everything? It’s… a long story.”

“Yeah, of course!” She nodded and beckoned him through the door. “Come on in.”

He followed her upstairs—after a brief hello to her parents—and took a seat in her desk chair. She sat down criss-crossed on the foot of her bed and looked at him expectantly.

Jackie was the first one that dared to break the temporary pause. Her voice was cautious. “I take it that something bad happened?”

Marco was surprised by her forwardness. “W-what?”

“I can tell you have bad news, Marco. Well, either that, or something exhausting happened. I can see it in your face.”

“Oh, uh... yeah, your first guess was pretty on point.”

Jackie frowned sympathetically. “I may not know much about this Mewni stuff, but hey, I’m probably easier to vent at than a brick wall, right?” She leaned forwards and put her hands in her lap. “So lay it on me.”

“...How much do you want to hear?”

“Tell me as little or as much as you want to. If it’ll help you feel better, I want to hear it.”

But there’s so much that’s happened! “Gosh, where do I start?”

“The beginning, maybe?”

Marco nodded, and, taking a deep breath to try and calm himself, he began his story.

“Well... there’s always been a bunch of monsters from Mewni that kept coming after Star. Their leader was named Ludo. He wanted her wand, but him and his lackeys are pretty incompetent, so they never managed to take it. Not until this guy named Toffee came along.”

“Toffee? That’s a weird name…”

“Yeah, I don’t really understand Mewni’s naming conventions, either,” he laughed. “Maybe it’s a normal name there. I mean, to be fair, most of Star’s family is named after celestial bodies, so it’s probably not that weird.”

“Yeah, I guess that’s fair.”

“Anyways, Toffee kind of showed up out of nowhere, and we could tell that this was a lot more serious than what we were used to with Ludo.”

“You didn’t ask anyone for help?”

“Star’s not exactly the type to ask her parents for help, so no, we just kind of dealt with it ourselves.”

Jackie pursed her lip. “That sounds like a really bad idea.”

“In hindsight, yeah, definitely. We had no idea who this guy was.” Queen Butterfly made it sound like he’s pretty infamous, he remembered, silently wishing he had asked for more information on Toffee when he had the chance. “He’s the only one who ever managed to take the wand. He kidnapped me, and then he tricked Star into—“

“Excuse me?!” She interrupted, somewhat outraged. “You got— you can’t just gloss over that!”

“But this isn’t about me!” Marco protested. “I’m perfectly fine now, so it’s no big deal.”

“If you’re that calm about literally getting kidnapped, I’m not sure how comfortable I am with you going to Mewni all the time...”

“It’s not a regular thing, I promise!”

“Okay, okay,” she sighed in defeat. “Fine. What happened there? Besides the whole hostage-taking thing.”

“He used me as blackmail to make Star destroy the wand.”

“I thought you said he wanted to take it?”

“That’s what we thought, initially,” Marco admitted. “He had Star use this really weird spell that set it off like a bomb. The whole castle blew up, Toffee included. We thought it killed him, but… well, it obviously didn’t. He came back.”

Jackie furrowed her brow, thinking for several moments. “Not to insult your storytelling or anything, but I’m really lost.”

“Yeah, I’m, uh... kind of skipping over a lot. Sorry.”

“It’s okay... I know there’s a lot to go over, probably.” She glances around her room once before an idea came to her. “Wait! What was up with the night of the school dance? In the graveyard, when that weird little bird dude showed up.”

“That’s Ludo,” Marco explained briefly. “Long story short... when Star tried to destroy the wand, it actually split it in two. Star kept the first half, and Ludo had the other one. That night in particular was when he stole the spellbook from Star.”

“What does that Toffee guy have to do with this?”

Marco tried to recall as much as he could about the days prior to Star’s disappearance, but the fact of the matter was that he hardly knew anything about Toffee’s involvement with the whole situation. There was obviously a lot more to it, far beyond his own knowledge.

“That spell Star used must have put him inside of the wand. For some reason, she used it again, and she got caught in the blast that time...” He took a pause, having a hard time thinking about those that few moments before she disappeared. “Toffee got out. Wherever the spell put him, it put her in his place. I think that might have been his plan all along.”

He was leaving out a lot of the details—he could tell from the slideshow of emotions on Jackie’s face that she knew his explanation wasn’t quite lining up—but frankly, he could hardly make sense of it, either. Even if he had visited Mewni several times now, everything about it and its magic was otherworldly. He couldn’t imagine how crazy it sounded to someone who had never even been there.

It wasn’t that unlike the Neverzone, in that way, though Mewni was certainly a lot less intense. A few things had stuck with him once he left—mostly learned skills, like how to drive a dragoncycle or wield a katana—but all the rest of his memories of that place had faded in a matter of weeks. He supposed it was time shenanigans of some sort, but it was still weird to him that he had acquired these skills when he didn’t remember practicing them at all.

Jackie had remained silent, mulling over his words. In the temporary break in conversation, Marco went on, saying, “Apparently this guy has been involved with Star’s family in the past, but I don’t really know how.”

Finally, she spoke up, offering an idea of her own. “Can’t someone use the same spell, or something? Anything at all?”

Marco shook his head. “I don’t think it’s that simple. The wand seems to be broken for good now, and I think that’s the only way to get to where she is.” He stared at the floor as he was reminded of just how dire this situation was. “She’s trapped in a dimension that no one can get to, and… I can’t tell if that’s worse.”

Jackie immediately dipped her head in understanding, and her sadness was apparent on her face. “Gosh, this really sucks.”

“That’s a heck of an understatement.”

“You were there when this happened? I can’t imagine how hard that was.”

He nodded once, averting his gaze from her when he felt his eyes begin to tear up again. “It should be so easy, but it’s not… everything that could have possibly gone wrong did go wrong.”

Despite his efforts to hide it, Jackie was quick to notice his defensiveness. “Hey... come here.”

He hesitated for several second before finding the energy to move. When he got up, she stood as well and met him halfway in a hug.

“I-if I had known that was the last conversation I was going to get to have with her,” Marco mumbled, his voice never rising above a whisper, “I, I wouldn’t have just let her leave without—“

Wordlessly, Jackie pulled him in tighter, resting her head against his shoulder. “I know,” she murmured. “I’m so sorry.” Marco could tell from her tone of voice that she was upset, even if she wasn’t really showing it in the same way he was.

In that moment, he felt awful for subjecting her to all of it. She and Star knew each other, of course—it was hard for anyone not to be charmed by Star’s infectious personality—but he wasn’t sure if him dumping all of the information on her without warning was a fair way to relay it. I hope she doesn’t feel guilty about what happened.

Nobody should have felt responsible. Not Jackie, not Janna, not Marco. It felt awful to admit it, but Star had been a victim of bad circumstance, and that was all. It wasn’t his fault. He wasn’t supposed to be a mind reader.

A shudder went up his spine. But why do I feel so guilty?

“I’m so glad you’re here, Jackie,” he said, attempting to redirect his thoughts.

“And I’m glad you’re back,” she replied. “I’m so happy that you’re safe.”

At least he didn’t have to wake up for school tomorrow. That was something he didn’t think he could manage.

#star vs the forces of evil #svtfoe #marco diaz #janna ordonia #moon butterfly #river butterfly #motherverse #tbwlhw #immersive

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wildshub · 4 years ago

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WHO: The Twilight of Adams WHAT: The boys head over to the cliff to turn on the repaired radio, hoping to get into contact with someone who can rescue them. WHEN: Day 2 NOTE: For future reference.

Callum Callum would rather hike to the cliff and back with broken legs twenty times over than do it once with all of the other boys from the plane. Between two of the boys having to be carried and Warren teaching them all a song about how English was his favorite subject the entire way there, the Canadian felt thisclose to offing himself. The only thing keeping Callum from doing so was knowing that when they reached the cliff, they could finally turn the radio on. The radio that was now all fixed thanks to Jorts and JJ. “Yo, hey!” He called out to Sebastian when he first caught a glimpse of the boy and the fire they'd started. “They fixed the antenna. Let’s get this thing going." He practically yanked Warren off of Blue's back and dragged him over to Sebastian once they reached their destination. Not even bothering to ask Warren if he could touch his bag, Callum unzipped it and got the radio out, showing it off to Sebastian like it was the Stanley fucking Cup. "The twerps fucking did it."

Sebastian Sebastian could have waved at Callum, he could have given him any more of a greeting than the simple nod of acknowledgement that he did but he wasn't trying to be hella gay or anything, so alas, he remained fairly static. "Shit, you're kidding me," he found it hard to believe that Jorts could accomplish anything other than being chronically annoying but he didn't say that, instead he allowed himself to relish in the feeling of success, as limited as it was. "Wait, wait, wait, before we go too crazy, we need a strat," he instructed with his hands out in front of him, warning the other boys. "You said we've got limited battery on this thing- we don't want to waste it stuttering like idiots. We need to know how we're gonna handle the frequency and we need to know what we're gonna say and we need to know it by heart before we even touch that on button,"

Lukas "Yo, the fuck, dude, " Lukas objected half-assed-ly as he witnessed Callum pull Warren from Blue's back and basically dragged him over to Sebastian and the fire like they were about to sacrifice the Nordic cripple. Though he'd stuck towards the back of the group the hike up, now shit seemed to be happening he pushed the pace to catch up. Nudging Blue on the arm as he passed, he asked " You good? " with raised brow, referencing the bullshit Callum was on. But he didn't linger long, making his way to Thing 1 and Thing 2 but on steroids before they ruined his whole day of work on that stupid radio. " Bro, just because you couldn't even think to turn the thing on doesn't make the rest of us Stephen Hawking or whatever the fuck, " He said, announcing his presence with dry tone. He cast a glance to Warren, just to make sure the fucker hadn't lost a leg in the last thirty seconds thanks to Callum and his island famous manners. " If we're lucky, and, really fucking stupid lucky, " he was trying his best to be serious but even with his best efforts he still sounded kind of like he was taking the piss, " the frequency hasn't moved far from whatever channel it was on to begin with. But, it was in the ocean, " and Callum basically dry humped it all night, " so chances aren't looking too hot. Whatever we say it's gotta be short enough that we can say it, wait a few seconds on that channel for response, then move on without wasting a fuckload of battery. "

Sawyer With an extra hundred-and-some pounds on Sawyer’s back, the hike up the cliff had been a bitch on his ankle. But it was considerably less damage than Liam would’ve done if he’d tried to climb up on his own – and Lord knew they needed all the manpower they could get if they were stuck here any longer than a couple nights. After letting him down, Sawyer wandered over to where the rest of the group had congregated, clapping Canada on the shoulder and standing on his tiptoes to get a good look at the radio. "Shame we can't tap into a police frequency," he said. That would be his first try if a radio happened to wash up onshore with its batteries still intact. "How about our plane number, the number of guys stranded here, and, uh...shit, to bring us some fuckin' life rafts or somethin'."

Liam while liam was extremely grateful that sawyer offered to carry him up to the cliff, he couldn't help the feeling of guilt the entire way. he may be the shortest guy out of the group, but he was still pretty stocky and muscular. lukas probably weighed less than him. but thankfully they made it and the other boy let him down, liam hopping a few times before getting steady on his feet, making sure to not put too much pressure on his bad leg. "does anyone remember the plane number?" he spoke up, feeling like he was going to be shot with a bunch of sass from the meaner members of the group. "but uh, yeah, definitely say how many of us are here..."

Blue blue nodded in response as people check in on him, and he didnt mind shooing them off but the truth was carrying warren was tiring. he leaned against a tree, catching his breath while watching the others regroup, rallying around the radio. "is there like....a global mayday code?" his words came between breaths, occassionally glsncing around. "how many of us are injured too maybe....?"

Callum Callum shrugged the Hick's hand off of his shoulder, shooting him a clear dude, the fuck? look. "Who even remembers a plane number?" He pointed out. "Does anyone know it?" A question for the rest of the huddle. "Number of guys is good. And the injured thing too." He gave Blue props in the form of a nod for that. "But global mayday code? So like what, 911?" Nothing else came to mind.

Sebastian Sebastian listened to the others, some more carefully than others. "I don't think we need to waste time talking about who's injured and who's not, nobody's dying and they'll figure it out when they get there," he suggested, though the number of people in need of rescue was definitely worth mentioning. "Nah, 911 is just the U.S. bro, there's another one for international emergencies but that's on cell phones. Radios are a whole different ball game, it doesn't work like a dial-in service"

Liam liam froze for a second as everyone started talking over each other to figure out the best way to go about this. he always had a bad habit of freezing in stressful situations, and this was about as stressful as it could get. but after some talk about 911, he tried to find his voice and speak up. "i'm pretty sure you just say, like, mayday three times or something. the other people will figure it out. you don't need a code. at least that's what they do in movies."

Lukas Lukas didn't know why telling whoever might be listening how many were injured was necessary at all but maybe they would edit before the decided on a final message. For the most part he stayed quiet (shockingly) while ideas were thrown around, just watching the two meatheads with the radio. Afraid they might get a little too riled up and break the thing, like he hadn't been basically tossing it around that very morning. He didn't know the flight number, even though his mother had said it a million and one times just yesterday, but Lukas did know an international mayday code. " Like, SOS? " He asked, looking to the group, surely these dumb motherfuckers didn't mean that and not be able to think of it. " That's the international distress code, " or if it wasn't technically, at least anyone on a boat or plane out there would know what the fuck it was.

Blue as he sat beside his pal liam, he listened in, but looked to sky like he'd see a helicoptor and could say nevermind to all this. "so..sos, uh...what 9 stranded...mayday?" it wasnt like he expected his word to make an impact but he has hoped he could organize all this before having to carry warren back down.

Sawyer Sawyer feigned hurt when Callum shrugged his hand off, rolling his lips together to stifle a chuckle when he looked away again. He couldn’t see shit with everyone huddled together like this, so he opted to step back from the group and poke a rock around with his toe. “It don’t work like a GPS,” he interjected, “so nobody’s gonna know what the hell we’re talkin’ about if we just go in with a stress signal. Flight number’s our best bet of being located, with the name of the island we were s'posed to land on second.”

Sebastian Sebastian found himself getting increasingly frustrated with the group he'd unfortunately become a part of by way of disaster. "That's a fucking morse code distress signal- not a stress signal and it's for when you don't have a radio, this is different," his voice became a little harsher as he continued. "Yes, you say mayday, we got that part sorted, okay, we need to tune into a frequency so that we're actually saying it to somebody that can actually do something about our situation and not some fucking ninety year old ham radio loser in Iowa trying to make a friend," he explained. "-but you're right. We need flight number or anybody with a unique enough name. I'm Sebastian Claude Sergeant," he announced, though he wasn't convinced it was unique enough. "Blue, Dash- those your legal names? You're probably our best bet if so unless your last names are Smith,"

Sawyer Sawyer raised his hand, still kicking a rock around. "I got a criminal record."

Warren For once, this conversation got interesting to him. He turned to Sawyer. "That's sexy. For what?"

Sebastian Sebastian turned to Sawyer suddenly at the revelation, "What the fuck?" perhaps it was the suddenness of the statement or perhaps it was the fact itself but either way, it had surprised Sebastian in that moment. "Okay, you're out, nobody's coming for you," he decided, as if a criminal record immediately made Sawyer disposable, regardless of what it was for. "Shut up, Von Trapp, now is not the time," he spat at Warren a moment later, "Names, who has a good one," he reminded the group.

Blue blue was ready to responde but hearing sebastian's full name caught him off guard. "word? ok. blue barrowcliffe. legal name." he offered an understanding look to sawyer, not based on shared experience but moreso on wanting sawyer to feel alright. unless he murdered someone.

Sawyer "Hotwirin' a 1500," he replied, winking and clicking his tongue. "Meanin'~" Sawyer spun around on his foot. "They can legally look me up in state records. You got state records in your name, Claude?"

Liam liam's eyes widened when sawyer say that out of nowhere. of course that annoyed sebastian and the two went at each other. liam just looked down at his feet and mumbled to himself, "i do." not that anyone asked him. but he just hated how heated everything was getting and wasn't really thinking.

Sebastian Sebastian did not, for a second like being referred to by his middle name, especially not with such a facetious fucking tone from Deliverance. "Yeah, cowboy, I got a birth certificate, a social security number, enrollment in school, my car is registered, I've got medical records- do you want me to continue, genius?" he asked bitterly before Liam piped up. "You do what, bro? If you've got something to say, use your words,"

Lukas " It's a radio thing, dude, " Lukas said, mainly just to be contrary to Sebastian but he was also fairly certain he was right. He snorted a laugh when Sebastian revealed his middle name, but didn't risk saying anything about it. The snort was enough to let Gigantor know that it sounded fucking stupid. Looking to Sawyer when he revealed his criminal record, he didn't think now was the time to bring up his own. And plus, high school drug dealing didn't really compare to auto theft. But, it was still a good idea. " Yo, that's smart. " He complimented, though Liam's confession was far more surprising. Unlike Sebastian he could put together context clues. " A criminal record? Does it beat auto theft? " He asked, not really able to imagine short king doing anything besides maybe some smoking. " I'm thinking it's between Big Blue and GTA right now, " no one cares what you're thinking, Lukas.

Liam he looked up when sebastian addressed him, not realizing anyone heard him. "nothing," he said quietly, deciding to stay quiet for the rest of the time.

Callum "Okay, so... fuck." He shook his head, keeping up with that entire exchange made his brain feel like mush. "We'll use Blue's name, mention how many of us are here and... shit, really does no one remember the plane number?"

Blue blues proximity allowed him another front row view to liam’s emotions and he gave him a soft pat on the back. while he hadn’t wanted to rock claude’s boat, he felt protective to the guys he was so critical of. "hey, we're getting sidetracked. let’s agree on a message and get home. I domt know the plane number or the pilot’s name.....what fucking company even set this retreat up?"

Liam "no, it does," he said to lukas when he asked, feeling like he was just wasting everyone's time anytime he spoke. he glanced over to blue and gave him a small smile when he tried to comfort him. "it was the twilight of adam," he remembers because his lawyer kept repeating it to the judge as if it was some church thing to rehabilitate him.

Warren Warren was never one for idle moments. He was the type of person who hated being still for too long. Nothing bored him like conversations that seemed to go nowhere. He was a person of action. The only way he could tolerate another minute of these boys not recalling information and sharing their gay middle names was if he was drunk, and unfortunately, there was not a drop of Dom Perignon Brut in him. He sighed. "Okay, you know what–" He had a lot of energy saved up from being carried up here. He could do this. He hopped over and snatched the radio out of Callum's hands, making quick work of getting away by prancing over to the ledge where he knew everyone would be careful around him. He turned the radio on. "Mayday, mayday, 911, this is Blue Cliffebarrel, I'm on an unknown island with 15 other boys and one of us have a criminal record, over."

Lukas Maybe they all should have expected Warren to be the one to cause trouble, but it certainly surprised Lukas when he made a grab for the radio, succeeded, and then hobbled away to the edge of the cliff before anyone could do anything about it. " What the fuck, " he reacted, more statement than question but it quickly got more heated when the cripple started talking " Dude! " He raced over, though Warren's plan worked and he slowed down when he got close to the edge. " Did you not hear any of that shit about the battery? " He snatched the walkie out of his hands, feeling a lot better now he had it rather than Warren or either of the Hulk impersonators. " And none of that even made any fucking sense, if anyone heard that they're just gonna think we're some idiot kids fucking around. " He said irritably, turning the thing back off. Too be fair, they were some idiot kids but he thought they were trying their best not to fuck around.

Sebastian Sebastian's patience had been wearing thing, needless to say. Not that it had been particularly in tact even before the other boys had started squawking at each other. When Warren snatched the radio, however, regardless of his precarious position, Sebastian launched. "Are you fucking kidding me? Do you want to fucking die today? You said nothing- nothing of any value and nobody understands your goddamn hurdy durdy bullshit anyway," his was easily the most offensive of all the accents on the island in Sebastian's firm opinion. He couldn't believe he was in agreement with Jorts but for the first and perhaps the last time, Jorts was right, this was not the time to fuck around and he was glad the radio was turned off again. "Thank you" he offered the smaller boy genuinely, slightly relieved that the radio was seemingly in the hands of somebody that was taking this shit seriously now.

Warren "I said everything you all were talking about," Warren launched into his own defense as the walkie was snatched away from him. " Did I miss anything?" He asked the group, not waiting around for their answers. "I didn't miss a beat!" And then of course, Sebastian had to go off on him because if he didn't go off on someone every hour, his penis would shrink in size and that clearly couldn't happen. "Oh fuck off, Claude. Je m'en fous, frère. Coller l'antenne dans ton cul! Vous vous sentirez mieux."

Sawyer Right. Sawyer didn't speak French, but those sounded enough like fighting words for him to step between Claudia and the angry little Swedish man, putting a sizable distance between them. "Yeah, alright, oui oui. Last thing we need is to start fightin' with each other, so let's just...re-calibrate. Curly can take it from here, yeah?"

Sebastian Sebastian squared his shoulders at Warren's squealing, "Yeah you missed the part where you did anything fucking useful- Barrel-cliff, are you fucking kidding me?" he had registered it the first time but reminded of the mistake, he fired up all over again. Then came yet another Claude jab, "Call me Claude one more fucking time, I dare you, I'll hit you so goddamn hard you'll have to learn to speak French without teeth," he warned, whether Warren was on the cliff or not didn't matter much to Sebastian when his patience was being tested. He inhaled sharply at Sawyer's advice and nodded his head, "Yeah," he agreed, cracking the knuckles of one hand in his palm, "Back to square one,"

Lukas Ask him an hour ago if Lukas ever thought him and Sebastian would be on the same side of an argument Lukas would have made a fart noise in response. But now look at them, Lukas was having to hold back another Claude comment after he was thanked. Hyper aware of the cliff edge seeing as Claude was basically shaking Warren over it he took a few steps back towards the group and the fire. " Yeah, " He confirmed, looking up when Sawyer spoke. He actually didn't want this responsibility but he did not trust any of these idiots with it, not even the idiots he liked, so it had to fall to him. " So, " he started, running over all the suggestions from before Warren's interjection in his head. " Mayday, flight number, Twilight of Adam. How many of us there are, and a name they can look up easily. " He listed the things off, counting them on his fingers and conveniently leaving out the ones he thought were dumb. " That it? " He asked the group, letting it sit for a beat before he brought up the point Callum had just before. " Does anyone have any idea of the flight number? " Because he sure as fuck didn't.

JJ with all the bickering in the air, Jacob got lost in thought trying to figure out if the geographical landmarks of the island could tell him any more of their current location. Other than tropical and approaching rain season, he didn’t seem to notice much else. It wasn’t until Lukas had presented the questions again that his mind was pulled back to reality. “Private hire Boeing 12596...” he replied calmly. “Fifteen survivors. Heading through South-West links. Jacob Sanders, that’s my name. Plane crashed roughly two hours and fourty minutes from the expected arrival time to Hawaii. If the pilot flew the right route, they should be able to find us.” He said all he had to say and left the others to decide what to do with it. Of course, he felt he knew a better way to do so but did not want to be met with Sebastians anger issues, Warrents utter imbecility or anyone else’s need for explanations.

Sebastian Sebastian pointed at JJ and clicked his fingers, "That's it- fucking perfect- almost. A few changes- you're gonna say you're Blue Barrowcliffe, Canadian national- and make sure you mention that the plane went down. Private hire Boeing- whatever- down," he corrected, "Don't waste time we don't have," he justified a moment later.

Warren Warren rolled his eyes at all of Sebastian's threats. Hagrid didn't scare him one bit. He made faces behind Stumbo the Giant's back as JJ swooped in to save the day, doing his best to stay standing on his good foot as he listened in. He supposed what JJ said was far better than what he'd come up with. He didn't like how Sebastian seemed to be happy about it. He was going to do something to change that. "Are we sure we don't want to go with Sebastian Claude Sergeant? Because I would cross oceans in seconds just to see what kind of person that gay ass name belongs to."

Sebastian If it wasn't clear that Sebastian had had enough of Warren by now, the look on his face after his most recent comment would surely make it clear, even to NASA. He spun around to face the male and wrapped his hand around his neck firmly, "Good idea, I'll throw you across the fucking ocean to show you what kind of person I am," he suggested savagely, tugging ruthlessly at the other boy's throat as he got in close to his face.

Warren "Not really my kink but choking is close. Do it harder," Warren gasped out, grinning like an idiot as his face grew red.

Sawyer Their brief moment of triumph was quickly overshadowed by Sebastian’s short temper, and none of them were currently in the position to weather that storm. Sawyer acted on reflex, reaching out to grip Sebastian’s shoulder in a feeble attempt to pull him away from Warren and the edge of the cliff they were standing on. “Woah woah, hey - fuck, man, enough, you’re gonna kill him!”

Lukas Thank God JJ had enough braincells to make up for the rest of this sorry gang of misfits. Lukas felt a wave of relief wash over him as JJ was able to answer all the questions he had and without being an absolute moron about it. " Boeing 12596, heading through South-West links, " he repeated those details, nodding as he tried to commit them to memory. But on top of that, JJ had been calm about most things so far, approaching everything with reason, so it made Lukas think he'd be the least likely to stumble under pressure. Plus, JJ was probably the only person besides himself that he didn't need to watch like a hawk with the radio. " Alright, do you wann– " he starts to offer the radio, but before he can finish Gigantor and the Nordic cripple were having at it. " What the fuck, " he uttered for the third time in about five minutes, looking over at the interaction but with the radio still in hand he made no move to get between them like Sawyer did. Even in the weird circumstances an abrupt laugh escaped him at Warren's gasped comment. Then he looked to Callum, probably one of the only guys in the group that had any chance of taking on Sebastian. " You wanna fucking get control of your buddy there? " He raised his brows and tilted head towards the situation aka Warren getting murked and liking it.

Sebastian Sebastian stumbled back with hands on his shoulders but he didn't take Sawyer's words as a warning, "Then I'd be doing everybody a goddamn favor," he shot back, it didn't seem like a bad thing if the loudmouth European took a plunge off the edge of this conveniently placed cliff if it meant he didn't take any more shots at fucking up their plans for survival...or call him Claude again. He shrugged Sawyer's grip off of him but it didn't do much to ease his hostility toward Warren who was pressing just about every button Sebastian had at this point.

Callum Callum was fixated on the radio. He just wanted everyone to shut the fuck up so JJ could turn that thing on and spout all the information they took forever to agree on already. But then Warren. The fucking invalid idiot just couldn't keep his mouth shut. He sighed, moving away from JJ to assist Sawyer in deescalating the situation. "Yo, hey, Sebastian-" His concern for the situation grew when the Hick was shrugged off and the pressure around Warren's neck didn't ease. "Hey! C'mon!" He grabbed onto Sebastian's shoulders and pulled, hoping a more aggressive approach would make a difference.

Warren Warren was suffering. But he was also: thriving. Seeing the anger on Sebastian's face brought him joy like you would not believe. It was the only fun he's had on this island so far. "Is this all you got, Claude? Did Daddy not show you how it's done? You have to do it like this-" His hands left their position over Sebastian's, moving to grip Claude's neck with his own fingers.

Sebastian It was the name, it was the mention of his father, it was the shit-eating grin on Warren's face. Sebastian was immediately seeing red again and no amount of 'hey come on's from any of the other boys was enough for him to simmer down. "You wanna lose this fucking hand?" he asked, gripping onto the other boy's wrist still with Warren's hand wrapped around, "Try it, I fucking dare you, see what happens,"

JJ He was mildly amused by the situation at hand. He found Sebastian’s irrational anger to Warrens imbecilic digs to be a waste of time and energy. Perhaps neither of them were aware just how important energy was in situations such as these, where the distance between them and their next meal was unknown and so was the distance between them and the rescue. Trying to speed the situation up, he’ll take the radio over from Lukas and move aside from the dick measuring contest. He adjusts the antenna until he can hear out the clear static. “Mayday, mayday” he will repeat, hoping the channel would pass through their call for help. “Maybe we could..” he skips through different channels, trying his best to find something intelligible, in any language. “We should get higher.”

Radio "92.1–" Static noises.

Lukas Unlike JJ, even preoccupied by the radio, Lukas was growing increasingly concerned about the whole Warren and Sebastian situation. Maybe if they weren't so close to a cliff, he wouldn't be so concerned– but then again Dash's words about Sebastian being their very own General Zaroff came to mind. His attention snapped back to JJ and the radio when the radio seemed to spurt something out, though it was hard to hear. " Did that just say something? " He asked looking back up at JJ, maybe he'd watched Ghost Adventures too many fucking times and was just making himself hear shit in the static. He nodded in agreement at the idea of getting higher, their makeshift antenna needed all the help it could get. Though, he couldn't leave without saying anything. " You think they're good? Like Sawyer and Callum probably have it handled, right? " He asked, glancing to the group by the cliff and then back to JJ, once again asking him for some reassurance that they weren't all gonna die here.

Sawyer Sawyer’s gaze flickered between the two groups of boys, spine stiffening as the radio whirred and crackled to life. That was it—that light at the end of the tunnel they were all so desperately chasing after. It was too fucking close for them to turn their backs on it now. He shot an urgent look at Callum, tilting his head toward Sebastian as if to say, fucking pull him off.

JJ With Lukas' attention dancing between the radio and the bikini contest, JJ focused entirely on quickly securing the antenna further using the string coming off his sleeve. As the static started coming through he could feel his body buzz with surprise and he'll press the button to the right. "Mayday, Mayday, Boeing 12596 coming through, do you copy?" he releases the button to allow the other side to process and continues to walk further up the hill, unsure if the change of location was actually helping the process or if they would have had a better chance sticking to the coast. "Come on..." he says, turning towards the group. "We might have something."

Callum The radio! It was obvious to anyone what Callum cared about more. Honestly, would it be the worst thing if Sebastian crushed Warren's windpipes? They could use all the quiet they could get to hear that thing. "Sebastian, come on, quit it-" He hooked an arm over Sebastian and leaned back, hoping his weight and the force would successfully separate the two. "Yo, Texas! A hand!"

Warren Warren has never been so close to death before. And he's taken a dangerous cocktail of party favors with nothing but a shot of absinth in his stomach once before. "Come on, Daddy Claude! Harder! Show me how you do it back home!" He laughed maniacally.

Sebastian That was the last straw, or maybe it was the laugh, or maybe Sebastian was just over tired but he wasn't fucking around anymore and without a moment more of hesitation he threw his weight into a punch that connected seamlessly with the other boy's face.

Sawyer “Jesus Christ,” Sawyer muttered beneath his breath; the first time he’d ever considered calling for God to help them escape from this apocalyptic hellhole. He hadn’t been quick enough to grab Sebastian’s arm before it reeled back, releasing with a sharp punch that caused a crack so loud it sent chills down Sawyer’s spine. He did, however, have the sense to grab Warren’s arm and yank him forward—at least enough to keep him from plummeting to his early death. “Alright, we need to cool it. Now.”

Lukas Okay, so, JJ's non-response didn't fucking settle Lukas' nerves at all. So instead he simply had to focus on the radio, the yelling all getting a little too fucking real for him real quickly. When he suggested moving, Lukas followed, though not without casting a glance over his shoulder to catch the argument getting more and more heated by the second. When a fist connected with Warren's face, Lukas was shocked. Not that Sebastian had hit someone, that was fairly predictable, but just at the whole fucking situation. " Yo, we gotta fucking get to someone before Gigantor fucking kills him. " He said, not bothering to hide the growing panic, turning back to JJ and continuing to follow him further up the hill. Using the ideal of not witnessing a death on top of all the trauma of surviving a plane crash to focus him on helping with the radio.

JJ He would have continued walking as he was and expecting everyone to fall in line. Once again, as per usual, he was let down by the sheer lack of ability some humans possessed to prioritise. Looking over his shoulder, he witnesses the argument, teasing and pinning had now gotten much too real and he'll stop in his tracks, passing the radio over to Lukas before heading back for the group. For the first time, he will approach Sebastian directly. His voice remains calm, almost quiet. "If you walk front of the line, you won't be able to hear the next thing coming out his mouth. Come on, radio is buzzing." he'll give Warren a look filled with pity, uncontrollably so and with the same tone he'll not even bother to check if the others head was still in place. "You walk the back of the line. Your leg is fucked enough." with a sigh, he'll look over at everyone else. "Everyone good? Can we keep moving?" they still had to reach the peak and walk all the way back before the sun sets. Otherwise, they might have just made a fatal mistake.

Warren Warren spat, a spatter of red and enamel on the ground when he did so. "Fuck..." Coughing, he gripped onto Sawyer to stay standing. He accidentally put weight on his bad foot in the middle of the chaos he'd started, so in addition to his mouth throbbing from the impact of Sebastian's fist, his leg now twinged with pain too. "He started it..." Warren had the audacity to say, holding onto to Sawyer a little tighter in anticipation for how Sebastian would react to that.

Sebastian Sebastian looked at the male with pure and utter disdain at how pathetic he looked and sounded. "-and I'll finish it too, don't think I won't," he barked in response, more than happy to give him another smack to even out the bruising on each side.

Callum Callum clapped a hand over Sebastian's shoulder. "Stop. C'mon, man." He was tired. He just wanted to get to the fucking peak like JJ said and try to reach out to someone. This shit, whatever was going on between Sebastian and Warren, it was a pointless waste of time.

Sawyer Normally, Sawyer liked to think of himself as the one with his head screwed on (somewhat) straight in times of disarray, but the calm coldness of JJ’s voice as he addressed the other boys was eerie—even to him. He stumbled a little as Warren shifted his weight into Sawyer’s side, looking down to see splatters of blood painted across his own white undershirt. Shit. He’d just bought this one for the trip, too. “Yeah, nah, JJ’s right. We’re done with all...this.”

Lukas The next couple seconds happen way too fast for Lukas to process in the moment. One second, he'd handed off the radio duty to JJ and the next JJ was successfully pulling the two that were fighting (if you could call what Warren was doing fighting back,) apart and seemingly ending the commotion. He was paused on the hill, watching it all unfold, but after a second another unintentional chuckle tumbled from his lips. " Are y'all done? " He called out to the group by the cliff, amusement on his tongue and shit eating grin back on his features as if he hadn't been scared shitless moments ago. " 'Cause we actually got fucking signal on this mother fucker, " He said enthusiastically, holding up the walkie in celebratory manner. A small and probably shit attempt to stop another fight from breaking out any second.

Sebastian Sebastian raised his hands, though there was a self-satisfied smugness coloring his features that made it obvious that he was pretty pleased with himself, despite the blood shed- or perhaps because of it. "I'm done," he announced plainly, happy for all things to be said and done as long as Warren didn't dare open his fat mouth again, at least for another half an hour or so. He wiped his hand on his shorts, whether it was spit or blood he didn't know, nor did he care, "So we're high enough to get a signal, now we need to find a better channel, right- is that what we're saying?"

Lukas Okay was it just Lukas or were he and Sebastian actually getting along? Nothing brings people together like almost murdering and almost witnessing murder. " Pretty much, " Lukas confirmed, though it was mainly just an assumption. His radio knowledge was still relatively basic, even after rebuilding this one with JJ. " We're gonna go a little higher, see if it can get any clearer. 'Cause while you guys were jacking each other off or whatever, " he had to make a joke, even dismissively, he couldn't actually acknowledge what he had just witnessed " I swear to God, this thing said something. " He insisted, though he hadn't actually caught what it had said in the moment. " So let's go, " he said, turning on his heel and returning to the mission of getting a bit higher before anyone could get back to the murder.

Sawyer The snort that escaped Sawyer after Curly’s little dig was entirely involuntary, but also entirely deserved. He was just glad he didn’t have to be an accessory to murder today—that’d be a hard one to explain to his parole officer when he got home. With a final, mournful sigh for his dirtied, bloodied shirt, he chucked the thing off over his head and handed it to Warren. “For the bleeding, Bateman.” Sawyer clapped his hands together. “Now let’s get the fuck outta here.”

Warren "Thank you, Yeehaw." His lips pushed into whatever form of a smile he could manage. Warren bunched up the shirt and pressed it to his mouth, giving Sebastian a nasty glance as he did so.

Callum "Alright." Callum clapped his hands together, glad JJ was able to settle the commotion. "Let's fucking do this." He was more than ready to put this dumb shit behind them for the sake of accomplishing what they actually came to do today. He jogged up to Jort's side, wanting to be up close to the action in case the thing crackled to life again.

Lukas As the group continued up the hill, Lukas returned his attention to the radio. Turning it back on, he adjusts the antenna until he's satisfied with the static settling and speaks into the machine. " Mayday, mayday. This is Blue Barrowcliffe, one of fifteen survivors of flight Boeing 12596. Do you copy? " It felt completely silly to say he was Blue, the Canadian that looked literally nothing like his scrawny New Jerseyan self, but aside from JJ he didn't know if he could trust any of these guys with the radio. " I repeat, fifteen survivors of flight Boeing 12596, " he said the numbers slowly and clearly, if someone heard them the numbers would be their saving grace. " Do you copy? "

Sebastian Sebastian could hardly fucking believe that Jorts had actually managed to stick to the script, he'd nailed it. "Canadian- say you're Canadian," he reminded Lukas, waving his hand a little with encouragement as he listened carefully to the static on the other end of the radio device, praying that words in any language came from it- even one of the languages Von Trapp spoke would do. "Keep going," he insisted, his heart in his throat as he awaited a response from somebody with the potential to save their sorry asses.

Radio Lengthy static noises. "Ha-" Static noises. "Gehen-" Static noises. "Liest du-" Static noises. "-nächsten hafen." Static.

Sawyer The excitement was palpable now, eyes lighting up and heads perking with hope. Sawyer grasped the shoulder of the boy nearest to him and shook it, laughing. “Fuckin’ A, we got a fuckin’ German!”

Liam liam stood off to the side as everything went down. his hand flying up to over his own mouth as he watched the altercation between sebastian and warren, but the last thing he was going to do was step in between them and end up in the same position because sebastian redirects his rage to him. but finally lukas can get a message out. static and a few broken words that he couldn’t understand, heart sinking when sawyer announces that it’s a german. “does anyone know german?” he asks, looking around at the others.

Blue blue hadnt said much during the saga, other than an extremely confused "why the hell did i have to carry him" when warren zoomed into chaos at a speed blue's exhausted mind and body couldnt keep up to. he sat away from the drama, and while he would normally intervene to save morale but his body seemed glued to ground. hearing his name echoed by the others tothe radio, he imagined his parents and his sister, and a lump in his throat had to be swallowed down, tears avoided for now. as the confrontation got more violent, blue rested his head between his knees, fighting sleep or panic, the yelling and tension a little too intense of a reminder of...her. he resumed his role helping the injured, though more resentkful of helping mr instigator. "warren......youre swiss, eh? dont your people speak like swiss french and german? what'd they say, man?"

Lukas Lukas is about to tell Sebastian that he doesn't even sound Canadian, not even a little bit, and that saying he was would be kind of fucking stupid when the radio spattered to life in his hands. He looked down at it, amazed. After half a second of awe at his own handiwork he tried moving the antenna and pushed himself to move up the hill faster to help get rid of the static. Sawyer picked up on the language before he did and he glanced over his shoulder at the rest of the group. He sort of had his toes crossed for JJ to come through again, even if his behaviour was a little unsettling– but then Blue addressed the European. And while he was probably their best chance, Lukas wasn't feeling especially eager to let him have the radio again. " Anyone else? " He asked, looking around the group and avoiding the now toothless Nordic cripple. " Don't need to be fluent, just enough to say we need help. "

Dash Dash watched the entire shitshow with varying degrees of amusement and disturbance. Initially he didn’t see much point in following everyone up the hill, like, logically speaking, mostly because didn’t know jack about radios or distress signals or even their flight number. But he did want to be there if they made contact with anyone. So he ambled up near the back of the line, and spent the first few minutes of the hike looking at a cloud in the shape of Marge Simpson’s head, glad that Lukas and JJ seemed to have things covered on the radio front. Douchebag Callum was there too or whatever, he guessed, and Sebastian came through, even if he took his roid rage to the max and punched Eurotrash in the mug over a couple gay jokes. Dash’s lip curled at the blood spat out on the ground. He didn’t really vibe with all the sadistic shit, and he’d take bets that the little guy had half a chub through the whole thing. “Nein, bro,” Dash shook his head. He had maybe a handful of phrases in Spanish and Tagalog in his repertoire at max. And if any anxious fact stuck with him, it was that the battery was on its last legs, so he glanced toward JJ in hopes he could step in ASAP. He reminded Dash of a guy he went to elementary school with who learned those wack languages from Lord of the Rings for fun and hid under desks to hiss at people as they walked by. Surely he knew some German. “American public schools kinda fell off with the whole foreign language thing.”

JJ As the radio went on, he tried his best to decipher what was being said. His German was rusty at best, mostly based on old philosophical texts he picked up at college. Extending his hand to get the radio back, he’ll rub the top of his brow as he recalls the words. “Hilfe, Hilfe! D-das ist Jacob Sanders. Fünfzehn Menschen am Leben. Privatflugzeug Boeing 12596 kaputt. Wir brauchen hilfe.” He knew the German was butchered, but he believed he’d said the most important things in the process. “Hallo? Kopierst du?” He’ll shift the radio around, trying his best to get the signal.

Warren Warren was tired. His mouth hurt. On top of losing a tooth, one other in his mouth felt loose and he hated it. He didn't really care that they'd made it to the peak, leaving the business of getting into contact with help to whoever had a hard-on for talking to strangers in the group – Mister Moley Man and the smart one. They seemed to have it figured out and he really needed to pee. Besides, with the space at the peak much smaller than where they were before and everyone so excited about it, he felt as though he'd be caught up through overhearing while he tried to take a piss where he was at the back of the group. He was halfway done with his leak when he heard German, making him turn on instinct and accidentally getting piss on shoes. "Agh, nein–" Two quick shakes and he pulled his track pants back up, hopping over to the front. With his bad leg, he had to touch some shoulders on the way so he wouldn't fall over. What the boys didn't know wouldn't hurt them. "Du sprichst Deutsch?" He asked the smart one as he hobbled up. Schlecht, but he left that in his head. Stretching out his hand, he opened and closed his fist a couple of times, asking for the device.

Sawyer Sawyer held up a finger and thumb. "S'German, actually."

Sebastian Sebastian rolled his eyes at the budding discourse, "Which is the same thing- moving on. What did they say?" he gathered the gist of what JJ had relayed back, he's a lesbian, the private flight number, uh whatever else- it didn't matter, Sebastian was pretty sure he'd pretty much stuck to the script. "Does that mean we're near Germany or a country that speaks German? What countries outside of Germany speak German?" he couldn't think of a single one that wasn't landlocked or anything but tropical- no freakin' way they were near Western Europe.

Sawyer Sawyer just looked at him like he felt even worse for him than he did when they found out his middle name was Claude. "Dude."

Dash Dash pressed his tongue against the inside of his cheek to fight back a fleeting grin at Sawyer’s emphatic dude. “I dunno dick about who’s speaking German other than the Krauts, but could be a passing ship, right? Maybe we’re in international waters or some shit.”

JJ He looks at Warren and his eyes wonder for a moment if the other is genuinely fluent or just proceeding to be a more persistent human equivalent of hpv. “I speak limited amount.” he answers honestly as Sebastian proceeds to throw in a question which would by all metrics be considered dumb if it wasn’t somewhat valid. Before he can answer, Dash adds to it a more plausible explanation and he’ll nod. “German speaking countries are Germany, Austria, Belgium and Luxembourg. German is also an official language in Switzerland and Liechtenstein, but it sounds different. It is highly unlikely we’re close to any of those...” his eyes now on Dash. “It may very well be the case. Any other ideas?”

Liam watched as everyone silently as they freaked out over who may or may not speak german. his anxiety rising with each moment as their chances of rescue started to lessen the more they used up the battery of the radio. he stayed away from the group, off to the side and pulled out his tech deck out of his pocket and started spinning one of the wheels anxiously to try and calm himself down.

Sawyer "Maybe," Sawyer said, leaning in close to the other boys like he was about to tell a secret, "the operator's just bilingual."

Warren "I live in Switzerland, I speak German," he told JJ. To emphasize his point, he stretched out his hand more blatantly. "Give it to me. Or do you want to stay on this island forever?"

JJ Instinctively JJ will look over at Lukas as if to get some type of blessing or permission to pass the radio to the village idiot. Still, he didn’t have any real ownership of the thing so he stretched his hand out, anxiety rising. He was almost certain the other would either send off a message too ridiculous for the other end to decipher or fully throw the thing on the floor just to get his other leg broken and bleed out in the woods. “Go on then. Careful with the antenna...”

Joe Joe's initial relief at hearing a voice on the other side of the radio was dimming as Henry Bowsers but hopefully redeemable starting asking irrelevant questions that made no sense."Pinky's right it's probably a ship. There's no way there's no way there's a hermit nearby that just happens to hack into radio signals." Who the fuck still used radios besides sailors and boy wonder (not that JJ counted he seemed to have swallow an encyclopedia) ? Watching boy wonder hand over the walkietalkie to Warren was an extremely nerve wracking experience."Be careful Warren."

Lukas With only a couple Hebrew words along with his questionable at best English skills Lukas was mainly sitting this conversation out. If it could be called a conversation, mainly it just felt like a lot of bullshit but what else was new on this island. When Warren revealed he could speak German, and they all kind of knew that because of the song he'd sung on the way up the hill, Lukas had to grimace. It was their best chance, so he gave a small nod to JJ as it was passed over. " Remember, flight Boeing 12596. " Again he said the numbers slowly, fingers and toes crossed old gap tooth wouldnt fuck them all over.

Warren Finally, Warren thought as the radio came into contact with his hand. "Danke, wunderkind." That was so drawn out and dramatic. It's not like he's done anything crazy with the radio before. He hopped over and lifted a hand, swatting it in the group's general direction to settle their apparent nerves. Then he pressed the transmit button spoke. "Ja hallo? Kannst du mich hören? Wir sind auf einer Insel gestrandet. Wir brauchen deine Hilfe."

Radio Static noises. "kannst du-" Static noises.

Lukas It's like watching a toddler handle a bomb, Lukas is just waiting for it to fuck them all up big time. But somehow, it doesn't. Not yet at least. He doesn't hear anything that sounds like numbers come out of Warren's mouth but he also knew literally no German at all. When the radio responded he raised his brows, as if the two words the voice said could possibly mean anything useful. " What's going on? Do we need to go higher still? " He asked, because he was like 65% certain the voice had been cut off by the static.

Warren For once, Warren was invested. He shook the walkie slightly and held it against his ear. Then he spoke into it again, thumb on the transmit button. "Ja? Hallo? Hallo? Kannst du mich hören?" He hopped forward a little, perhaps needing to get a little higher. "Yeah, I think so," he answered Lukas. It was a shame. They were at the peak already. But the edge had a slight lift so Warren was going to take the chance. "Hallo?" He tried again. He heard some static, some response in German before the walkie went dead suddenly. "Shit." He shook the thing. Perhaps a little too vigorously. "Hallo??" He turned on the foot he was balancing. "I think it– Ahh!" The ground beneath him crumbled. Warren slipped. Quickly, he used grabbed onto whatever of the edge he could, releasing the walkie from his grasp to do. "Help! Help!"

Sebastian Sebastian had his arms folded tightly across his chest to keep them at bay as he listened to the chatted shift from person to person. It seemed as if everybody had something to say but nobody was saying anything useful to the situation. "We might just be in a dead zone, I mean look at this place- who knows where the next tower is," he explained, worried that there wouldn't be another radio tower or any man-made structure for hundreds and hundreds of miles from where they stood. He heard the crumbling rock before he truly registered what had happened and as the walkie hit the ground, Sebastian reacted to try and catch it, though his efforts were thwarted at the last moment, his attention divided by Warren's shrieking. "Fuck, Warren!" the words spilled from his mouth as he stumbled as close to the edge of the cliff as he could without risking another rockfall. "Bro-" he looked back at the other guys over his shoulder, "What the fuck- do something!" he practically squealed.

Lukas When Warren moved past the bulk of the group, so did Lukas. Eyes on that radio. He really did not think he was gonna care so much about it. " Hey! " He reacted when Warren fucking shook the thing, as if it wasn't already fucking precarious. Moving towards him, more to take the radio off him than pull him away from the edge of the cliff– but then the fucking dude took a dive off it. " Holy shit, " Lukas moved quickly when he fell, he thought he cared about the radio but he didn't even notice Warren had dropped it yet. Instead falling to his knees, scraping skin since the alterations he'd made that morning. Leaning over the edge he reached out his hand to Warren, holding onto stable ground as best as he could, but he was still a fraction too far away. " Grab my fucking hand, dude! "

Sawyer "Fuck-" Disaster struck in such quick succession: the radio, the crumbling peak, Warren--Sawyer's heart fell to his stomach with such force, he felt like he was about to shit it out of his asshole. He raced to the edge of the cliff, grabbing onto Lukas's free arm. "Pull him up, I'll anchor you!"

Sebastian Sebastian's breath caught in his lungs at the sight. Ten minutes ago he'd wanted to slay Warren where he stood and now, the thought of the other male plummeting to his death right before him made Sebastian want to throw up. "Grab his arm, grab each other's arms, lock in," he insisted, certain that Jorts' clammy ass hands were going to just help Warren fall to his death quicker than ever. "Fuck it- grab me," he insisted, wiping his hand and arm on his shirt before grabbing Warren's forearm firmly.

JJ All he could think about was the exact impossibility of seeing the radio again and for a second he thought about stepping on Warrens hand to push him off with it. As he paused to think, the others jumped to help, and he offered a hand to yeh guys as they moved into action. The stability of the cliff was unknown at this point and a dangerous place to be placing weight so he tried his best to focus on the situation at hand as opposed to possible catastrophe.

Warren Sebastian? Sebastian wanted to help him? Warren knew now wasn't the time to be picky. Beggars couldn't be choosers after all when their arms were aching and they were hanging off a cliff. He pictured his 8th grade English teacher's cleavage one last time before throwing all caution to the wind and letting go of his grip on the ledge to hold onto to Sebastian's arm for dear life.

Sawyer The harder Sebastian pulled, the more unstable the ground became. Sawyer's pulse rocketed, heartbeat thundering in his ears as earth crumbled from the very edges of the cliff Warren was dangling from. He whipped around to face the rest of the group--all frozen in various stages of shock and panic--eyes wild: "Guys--"

Dash Dash saw it all happen in slow motion. Warren turned on his foot, then plummeted. One second he was there and in the next he was dangling from the edge like some kind of Wiley Coyote bit. Dash stood frozen, panic seizing his chest. In what world was he equipped for this shit? “Are you fucking kidding me?” he asked no one particular, his voice inching up high and reedy with shaky incredulity. He watched as Sebastian, then Lukas, and finally JJ leapt forward to help. “What the cucking shitfuck this is so fucking fucked.” It was Sawyer’s panicky voice that made him take a step forward, half-wondering if he ought to grab a hold of the back of Lukas’ shirt as some kind of useless backup for a second before he finally did it. “Guys — Jesus, the whole thing’s gonna come down.” But what was the alternative? Letting Warren eat shit and die?

Lukas Lukas was willing to admit (to himself) he was fucking grateful Gigantor joined him on the edge of the cliff. Lukas Skinny Arms Tozer was gonna have no hope of pulling Warren up on his own though he actually hadn't thought of that in the moment. He thought he nearly felt his stomach fall out his asshole when Warren made the move to cling to Sebastian's arm. Feeling a tightness on the back of his shirt he took that as a cue to move again, pushing himself back up, on his feet but still crouched by Sebastian and the dangling Swiss. Glancing over his shoulder to see it was Dash that pulled him up, see Lukas knew he got good vibes off that dude. He'd give a proper thanks later but for now he gave an out of breath nod before he looked back to Sebastian. " You got him? " He asked, barely allowing time for an answer before he's looking back to Dash, Sawyer and anyone else that was braving the cliff edge. " Let's pull them up. " He said, trying not to think about the the precarious cliff face everyone was so desperate to point out.

Callum This was all too fucking insane. How was Warren in a near death situation for the second time that day? Not wanting to deal with a dead body on top of trying to survive on a deserted island in the middle of nowhere, Callum dove headfirst into the chaos, grabbing onto Dash to give him support because there was no way this skinny fucker could realistically help Warren, Sebastian and Jorts. "Pull 'em up, pull 'em up!" He urged, mentally preparing himself for the energy he was about to exert.

Dash Dash nodded back once toward Lukas and if his thoughts weren’t too preoccupied with the fact that they were all surely about to plummet to their deaths, he might’ve twisted around and mocked Callum’s deep, booming pUlL ‘eM uP pUlL ‘eM uP to his face. The guy’s hand gripped tightly to Dash’s arm though, pretty effectively making extra sure to keep that petty, poorly timed instinct in check—and probably ensuring that he didn’t full-on Kermit over the edge of the cliff, too. Fuckin’ jocks. Dash gritted his teeth; he didn’t know if it was in his head or not, but the ground felt shaky under his feet. He dug his heels in and used his other hand to grab hold of Lukas’ arm to create some kind of human chain, his breath coming fast and shallow, and did his damned best to keep their skulls intact.

Sebastian Sebastian's heart was in his throat as Warren grabbed onto his arms, his grip pinching the skin though he was far, far too drenched in adrenaline to notice the pain. "Come on, come on," he bellowed, urging the other boys to give it all they had, lest both he and Warren tumble over the edge and into the rocky waters below. At least it would be a quick death, he supposed.

JJ Several things have happened in a span of seconds that JJ could not process. First, Warren hanging off a suspiciously strong cliff. Second, Sebastian of all people putting his ass on the like to save the other. He wasn’t sure if he was dreaming. If maybe all the years of shit sleep had caught up to him and he was now stuck in some hallucination limbo making shit up. Either way, he didn’t say anything, he balanced his weight and pulled onto the guy in front of him and prayed to God and Saints and whoever might have been listening, for this to be over soon. — He was still pissed about the radio, pissed that he’d even passed it to the other, pissed that there was no way now to make his phone work either. Not without the parts he used for the antenna.

Liam liam watched in horror as warren grabbed the radio, babbling into it before eventually stepping off the cliff. in the split second between him falling and everyone snapping into action, liam actually though he had falling to his death. and with most things since the crash, he froze yet again. but a second later, he shoved his toy back into his pocket and ran over to everyone else. which he later realized was a bad idea because pain was shooting up his leg as he grabbed on to one of the other guys to help pull the kid up. thankfully the stress of it all, he was able to ignore his own leg and focus on getting warren back on to solid ground.

Blue everything appeared to blue in flashes, the group heading up the cliff, and the chaos when the cliff crumbled. he watched the other spring into action, and took a deep breath to pump himself up. "Get him! Is he okay" He pulled on whatever body parts or clothes he could to help the others, blue felt the solidarity that he felt with his teammates back home. "Is the radio grabbable?" he was sweating, panting, and the desperation was coursing through everyone it seemed. "Save warren. Get the radio. Save Warren. Get the radio." He chanted to himself, pulling along with the rest of the group. "Save. Warren. Get. The. Radio."

Warren With everyone pitching in to help him, it seemed that Warren would live to see another day. His body was yanked up and onto solid ground again thanks to the efforts of Arsch mit Ohren and the rest of the boys hanging onto him. The second he felt firm rock below him, he wriggled as best he as he could past the boys to further in, wanting desperately to put as much distance between himself and ledge as possible. When he felt it was safe, he dropped to the ground and rolled onto his back to stare at the orange sky above. "Heilige Scheiß..." He was breathless, chest heaving up and down rapidly. Never in his life has he felt such a rush. It was a terrible thing to think about but he wondered how much 'near death experiences' would sell for. Thrill seekers like him would surely pay a hefty price. What Warren really should have been thinking about though was the radio, and how it was no longer in his hand and probably in a million little pieces hundreds of feet below them or lost to the waves of the ocean. He had yet to recall the reality he and the boys were in and how dire it was that they got into contact with someone.

Sawyer Sawyer fell back with the rest of the boys into a sweaty, adrenaline-clouded heap, wincing at the harsh impact of solid rock against his elbow. Nobody dared speak for those first fragile seconds, as though the silence was a crumbling cliff and puncturing it with words would cause it all to come tumbling down. This wasn't a game anymore. The isle was no longer a midpoint in their journey, a pit stop on the way to a boys' retreat in Hawaii; it was a living, breathing thing, with the power to swallow any of them whole at a moment's notice. He rolled to his side, dog tags clinking together as he let out a shaky breath: "the radio...fuck are we gonna do now without the radio?"

JJ He falls back and for a moment he just sits there in silence with the rest of them. He will then get back to his feet, wipe his hands and dust his trousers and look over at Sawyer having considered the exact question throughout the conundrum. “Nothing to do. It’s gone, it’s done.” all they could do now is hope that the Germans or whoever the fuck, heard their message and was on the way. Regardless, the sun began to set so he pointed towards the downhill path. “We should head back before it gets dark...”

Lukas Relief of not having to witness Warren's death washed over him, for the second time that day. But it only lasted a moment. Pulling himself free of the cluster of boys that had pulled him back up off the cliff face, he moved back towards the edge, looking over it in hopes of seeing the walkie on a ledge or something. Perfectly in tact and working a dream, ideally. But nothing. All that fucking hard work, and for fucking nothing. He turns back to the group, eyes landing on the culprit and any relief that he was alive long gone. " You fucking moron, fuck's sake, " If Warren had managed to stand before Lukas turned around, he absolutely would have shoved the bastard. Not over the cliff, but at least back to the ground. Seeing as he was still down, Lukas tried to not let the anger build. JJ, who with each passing moment seemed to be closer and closer to having the emotional complexity of Chucky the fucking Doll, made a good point. They should head back before it gets dark. Seeing as he was already up, he offered his hand to help up the guy closest to him (and who was not Warren).

Blue blue accepted lukas' hand, grateful for any assistance the guys had to give. "thank you." his tone was somber, torn between gratitude for jort's work with the radio, and like the others devastation for what they lost. "im sorry." a reflex more than a habit, a conditioning she taught him. the thought of spending another night was unappealing, and with each hour the fantasy of this being a camping trip was disappearing. he moved towards the front of the group. "alright, we did good. I know this wasnt the outcome we wanted, but their was some macgyver inspector gadget shit that was amazing...and out teamwork pulling a man up. Thats the kind of trust we gotta lean into......carry the injured and lets head back. Warren, when your concussion or whatever gets better, we NEED you to tell us what they said."

Dash Gravity proved itself to be a bitch not once, but twice. Warren luckily managed to get back up from the side of the cliff face, but once the tension of holding tightly and pulling released, Dash fell back and into Paul fuckin’ Bunyan behind him. Even with the air knocked out of lungs, he managed to release a hybrid relieved-slash-disbelieving laugh after a moment's silence when any rescue mission for the radio was declared null and void. Because what the fuck. He hoped his elbow at least got one of Callum’s soft spots as he struggled to his feet, clasping onto Lukas’ hand as soon as he let go of Blue’s. “Well that was a total shitshow.” And like, who knew what the lederhosen-looking dickhead was telling the Fuehrer over the line? The u-boats could’ve been well on their way to haul them to some undisclosed lab by morning. He cracked the knuckles of his right hand, his limbs left a little shaky post-adrenaline rush, and shook his head. With a sharp exhale, he edged away from the sudden drop. His heart racketed just looking where Warren had been clinging on. “Yeah, yeah, down before dark, but what’s the punishment for the high crime of nuking what was probably our one chance at direct communication, man?” In a half-assed attempt at fairness, he tacked on: “I know he didn’t like, spike it on purpose here, but.” Cue: womp womp. “Be real. Are we or are we not totally fucked?”

JJ The corner of his lip lifts slightly as Dash asks what the punishment is for the accidental crime of losing their best chance out of this Island. It’s not that he found it particularly amusing, it’s just that he thought punishment was rather obvious. “The punishment is being stuck here.” He will reply simply. “What impacts one of us - impacts us all.” It’s time we start acting like it, he thinks as he shoots a look towards Warren and Sebastian and then down to his hands. “One fucks up, we all fucked up.” Trying to remain positive he will face Dash and start walking further from the edge of the cliff. “Perhaps whoever’s on the other side has got our message. We’ve only been here for little over a day so it’s also possible the search party separate from the radio is underway. We should stick to the beach for now, keep the fire going...as of right now —“ with the radio gone “it’s the best option.”

#wilds.thread

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riskeith · 4 years ago

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HIIII hope you have been well my dearest last airbender hehe. i have so much exciting things to share <333

so first off, i did two wish rolls the other night and guess what? on one roll i got BOTH bennett AND qiqi!!!!!! (the other one was just weapons but 🤷🏽‍♀️) i love them both so much i literally ascended them the second i got them. i still can’t believe my luck. so now my team looks like: traveller, noelle and those two. i’m having a little issue bc i don’t have a long range combat character but i love them all too much to change anything. which means i struggle sometimes maybe if i roll for someone else in the future i might change but rn i’m LOVING them. have you ever had luck like that?

AND i started watching haikyuu again and i forgot how funny it is. i usually don’t laugh out loud while watching things but i was literally chuckling while watching some moments. i’ve only watched 10 eps-ish but i fell in love with it again at the first ep already. i cant believe i dropped it before i’m so stupid.

ok that’s all the updates i had hahaha ! i was like buzzing waiting to tell you lmaidhdhdbd 🥺

oikawa is SO pretty it’s insane. when he showed up i was like yeah.... that’s him. that’s the pretty boy. but then again pretty much everyone is pretty in haikyuu who the hell are we supposed to focus on hehdhd the art style is just that good yk?

ships that have silent (+ points for angry) yearning are just superior. and usually they fall in the enemies/rivals category which is lovely. nothing is finer than watching people struggle with their feelings like mmmmmm... tasty. also as good as rareships can be, popular ships are popular for a reason yk? like canon content isn’t everything ofc but if canon can back it up in some way more people tend to be interested heh

wanna know something super weird? when i consume content i always fall for the stotic bois with angst backstories first but after i finish the shows i always miss the cute happy babies and that makes me obsessed with them? idk it’s crazy like voltron for example keith is literally my favorite character of all time but when i finished voltron i was literally bawling bc i missed lance so much help

well i guess we’re talking about voltron now HAHA 😭 dude s3 was a fucking blessing i can’t believe we got that and they just cut it off cold. the leader and his right hand man dynamic makes me yell to this day 😭😭😭 remember all the scenes where they continuesly reassured each other 😭 the ‘leave the math to pudge’ scene lives in my head rent free no joke dhdnhdbdud... s3 was just them loving each other tenderly and dw stole it from us.. ALSO PLEASE WRITE THEM AGAIN LITERALLY BEGGING 😭 pls 🥺

dude our government doesn’t give a shit we literally have politics traveling around and chilling without masks. they don’t care at all we barely have any restrictions so people don’t care either. it’s a mess here ngl.. :/

can’t wait to hear from u again... mwah!

hi hi!!!! is this gonna end up being 2 replies in one day for you again HAHAHA i’ll try not to disappear after

!!!!!!!!!! QIQI AND BENNETT??!!?!!!!!!!! oh my goodness… oh my goodness!!! i can’t believe you got a 5 star before me fjskskkdd but big deserve 😭😭😭😩😩😩 i’m so happy for you nejdnskamxlxmm holy shit!!!!! that’s so cute tho that’s such a cute team… and big mood!! who cares about team dynamics/fighting styles all that matters is that you like them 😩 but also does that mean you currently have 3 sword users and 1 claymore on your team jdjsndnsm. i also used to not have a ranged fighter on my team but it just got so inconvenient lolol. and no my luck is actual ass :( so often i only roll weapons, and when i do roll charas it’s like. all the base free ones djdkskdk

haikyuu is SO funny!!! everyone’s humour is so >>>> omg they’re just silly boys… are you restarting it from the very first ep? and it’s all good if you dropped it before bc you’re coming back to it now and that’s what matters 😩 keep me updated tho! i’m so excited to hear what you think

HFJDNSKSN sorry i went mia and made you wait chksjs WHICH REMINDS ME!! omg i’ve been meaning to tell you and keep forgetting but i downloaded genshin on my phone last week for my trip and it’s so??? difficult? like mad mad respect to you for being able to play on mobile omg… maybe it’s just bc i was used to pc already but damn.. djsjjs

HAHA yeah just admiring the visuals instead of focusing on the story.. we’ve all been there 😩 sometimes you just gotta rewind and take 48394993 screenshots of the one scene you know? who let them be so gorgeous..

yesssss the mutual oblivious pining is so good.. like they’re enemies to lovers but they’re also IDIOTS to lovers… or my fave headcanon which hurts so bad… the one person (keith) pining for their rival (lance) but it’s unrequited and they’ve just accepted that and are kinda resigned to it but. they just want them to be happy above all else :’) :’(

and honestly you are so right like if the popular ship are foils and have all these parallels between them and a deep backstory and stuff that’s so good too there’s so much food AHAH

omg that’s kinda cute tho.. like once you’re done you enter the honeymoon phase w bubbly outgoing charas.. (speaking of honeymoons when’s ours 🤪) speaking of lance he deserved everything lmao.. he deserves everything PRESENT TENSE!!! wow we are really talking about vld in 2021 huh

LEAVE THE MATH TO PIDGE!!! I AM SCREAMING JUST THIBKING ABLIT THIS TOO!! WHAT THE FUCK DOCYOUCMEAN KEITH. WHY DIDNYOUCSAY IT WITH THAT SMILE. LANCE WHY DIDNYOU SMILE LIKE THAT IN RETURN. LEAVE THE MATH TO- KEITH EXPLAIN??? WHA WERE YOU WDOIDJGNDKDNSKFKDKFNDNNCMS the way that lance went from ‘despising’ keith and hating being beaten by him in everything to SEEKING OUT HIS ADVICE AND COMFORT???? IF THAT ISNT GROWTH AND DEVELOPMENT I DO NOT KNOW WHAT IS like their relationship progressed so so so so so so so so SO much in that one single season… like. i cannot BELIEVE that was real???? no fucking way. like. we were literally so close.. SO FUCKING CLOSE!!!!!!!! my god the trust they had in each other..… LANCE SEEKING KEITH OUT!!! lance accepting keith as the leader before even keith accepted himself EVEN WHEN LANCE HIMSELF SO DESPARATELY WANTED TO BE THE BLACK PALADIN bUT RECOGNISING IT WASNT WHAT THE BLACK LION WANTED AND i have to stop or else i’ll literally never stop typing chskdkdkndcuksncjxjskcoskosnaksj

hhhhhhh i wanna write them sometimes i get hit with the feels SO SO BAD (like just then? LOL) but i haven’t properly written them in so long i feel like i don’t even know how to anymore D; but anyway do you have any prompts? i have so many wips (i have one fic that i said was gonna be my Final klance fic but lmao i’m never gonna finish it at this stage so i guess i’m also not done writing klance? lmao) but after a while i just. have no desire to go back to them anymore fjdjjx so something new might spark my motivation! but also no promises sorry i always say i’ll do shit but never do JEKSKS altho i will try!! i’ll try bust out at least a drabble even if it ends up as an unfinished wip as well lol 😩

oh fucking rip that’s so horrible i’m so sorry you have to deal with that :((( legit it’s so upsetting to see so many governments just. complacent and not caring about this issue at all like?? this is your job? you’re literally meant to be doing all these things to help us right now and you’re just not. which i guess unfortunately also makes sense bc they’re the ones who would suffer least. it’s so frustrating lmaoooo >:(

:***** i’ve stayed up again bc i am Not intelligent fjskdk but i’m looking forward to your response!! goodnight and sweet dreamssss (for when you next sleep LOL) 💗😘

#cluna cries at 2am over s3 kl potential 😔#marriage anon #wowclunaanswers #long post

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drkcnry67 · 4 years ago

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oops sorry wrong boy toy

title: oops sorry wrong boy toy... (drabble)

pairing: lucifer!sam x reader

rating: pg-13

fluff sq: in vino veritas

h&H sq: lucifer!sam

share the love: fever dream

tags: illusions, vivid dreams, dreams that feel and look so real that you believe they are but get awoken by something else in reality that shakes you out of the dream. other than that nothing really else maybe the warning of some potion usage

created for @thisismysecrethappyplace @spnfluffbingo @heavenandhellbingo

share the love list fluff list h&H list

this was reality wasnt it, you were under the impression that nothing had gone wrong, when infact everything was wrong. this seemed so real it was uncanny.

you, your boyfriend Sam and his brother Dean had gone to stop Lucifer from rising, to stop the apocalypse from happening. in fact that is exactly what you all thought had happened.

this day happened to be the 2 month anniversary of you all stopping the apocalypse, the boys were out on a hunt you on the other hand were soaking in a nice hot bath.

till something or someone pushed you down and ran some more scaldng hot water. it was a few hours later when the boys returned to find water all over the floor and you passed out unconcious and salding hot in the water.

Sam was freaking out, Dean was trying to clean everything up. but both of them looked round there was no signs of forced entry, no signs of hex bags or anything. then they saw that you were making something. they knew better than to touch it.

--------------------------

meanwhile, you were unaware of what was happening on the outside, you were focused on what you were witnessing on the inside.

Sam: babe, why dont we go find something fun to do... i mean you know like a normal couple...

YN: sam when have we ever been normal... we hunt monsters for christ sake. besides i think we can have lots of fun right here. besides i feel like we just had date night...

Sam: are you having de ja vu. cause if you are then whats the issue...

You had to second guess yourself, something seemed a little off, Sam didnt seem like himself. he kept speaking about normal, normal wasnt what either of you were accustomed too.

also sam never ever called you babe, like never... he always called you angel... he never ever called you babe. something was seriously wrong thats when you watched the scenery shift around you and Sam, things got really really hot.

you started sweating feeling like you were gonna pass out which you did waking up still sweting a few moments later except now hanging above a pit of boiling hot lava.

Sam or what looked like sam standing above you..

YN: sam what are you doing?

lucifer!sam: nope wrong boy guess again?

you took no time to think on this everything suddenly made sense.

YN: lucifer...

lucifer!sam: in the flesh, i cannot tell you how amazing it is to be out of that cage. there is a certain sense of accomplishment i feel right now, i had hoped you wouldnt figure it out for a while longer but something inside me wanted to have a bit of fun. so hows this for fun.

YN: this is a dream.. this has to be a dream...

--------------------

on the outside, Dean, sam and Cas were all hovering over your still scalding hot to the touch body. Sam was "frantic".

But Dean started to notice Sam mumbling to himself. He pulled Cas outside with him to "help get something out of the impala".

Cas: what's wrong Dean we should be finding out what happened to YN.

Dean: that's not sammy

Cas: what are you talking about?

Dean: that's not my brother in there he keeps mumbling to himself the Sam I know wouldn't doesn't do that.

Cas: I have an idea to wake YN. I need to be alone in the room when I do this cause it's not gonna be pretty. Something is causing her body to go into fever shock. That's why she is too hot to touch. The fever needs to break which means I need to go in and pull her from whatever is holding her in. you just need to keep “sam” distracted and out of the room while i save YN.

Dean: we will go get some alcohol.

Cas and dean walk back inside the hotel room, “sam” is kneeling beside your still form as Cas and Dean approach, Cas goes to place a hand over your forehead, using his angelic grace to scan your mind.

Cas: i know how to save Yn but i need to be alone for a few moments. like no one else can be in the room. its not gonna be an easy thing to watch nor will you guys be able to withstand watching this, humans can go blind from seeing this process. by the time you guys come back inside YN should be awake.

“sam” got up and looked at your body. none of the 3 boys except maybe castiel knowing what was occuring inside your head.

-------------

speaking of which, you are still suspended over a boiling hot pit of lava, lucifer!sam is ranting about his grand plan to start the apocalypse, to deal with the world itself once the apocalypse is in completion.

Lucifer!sam: are you still listening?

YN: yes unfortunately... but i thought we were in my head i thought we would be able to do what i wanted.

Lucifer!sam: that unfortunately is not true, we are not gonna get into too much detail. now pop quiz beginning with what did you and the 3 idiots use to open the door to the cage?

YN: the rings of the 4 horsemen.

Lucifer!sam: very good. now who else is supposed to be apart of the apocalypse.

YN: michael but he wants dean for his vessal. dean is not keen on that idea at all. now i have a question for you: how did you get my boyfriend to say yes to you using his body?

lucifer!sam: easy i threatened to take away the one thing that he loves the most, you... i threatened you... i was really surprised cause i knew you were pregnant the second i saw you, that is why i threatened you, thats why he said yes.

you suddenly went into a state of shock... you were completely clueless. wait did he just say Pregnant?????? you were not sure you trusted your voice or anything.

YN: what did you say? did you just say im...

Lucifer!sam: pregnant yes... Sam is right here inside my brain in a cage, he is screaming for you to hear him... i might be willing to let him speak to you one last time, but after that im taking him and we are going to bring on the apocalypse and no one can stop us.

YN: what's that light?

-------------

On the outside Dean and "Sam" went out to grab some disposable cups and alcohol. While Cas stayed behind to wake you up.

Whatever Cas was doing seemed to be working. He took one look at your current situation and could only reach in and pull you out as fast as possible.

Once he did that you were back in your own body. You sat straight up and woke up. You hugged Cas.

Cas: are you okay?

YN: I'm fine kind of. Umm where are the guys?

Cas: getting some alcohol.

You had sat up a bit before continuing to speak.

YN: can you tell me if you hear anything irragular in my belly... Like anything at all.

Cas places one hand on your belly, light begins to flow from it, you look at your belly then at Cas then back at your belly

Cas: is it Sam's?

Yn: yes but I don't want to tell him yet. That's not Sam... Not our Sam anyway. i have the perfect thing to use to find the truth but we all 4 need to be here for it.

Cas: they should be back soon, anything i can do to help in the mean time?

you and cas go to where your workstation is set up and you get to work finishing the potion that you were working on. you also get into a silk gown and house coat while cas mixes something for you.

Cas: the boys are just approaching the door. we will see if this works. what was your purpose for making this in the first place?

YN: to find the truth if we ever needed too. but i am sure thats not our sam. i am also sure that if im correct and thats not our sam then what sam had told me to do will need to be done. in the event that something happens to Sam in anyway shape or form, Dean is to become more than just a best friend to me. in that event i am to live my life hunting and killing every disgusting monster out there. but with a baby on the way i dont know if i can do that.

cas was about to reply when the boys walked in. both of them entered the room fully before they saw you. beforre they could speak you ushered for them to sit down...

YN: before you both speak yes im awake yes im fine. but there is something i want my lovely boyfriend to test. i have made something that in the future i am hoping will prove useful in interrogating. will you test it honey bun?

Sam: of course babe!

that set something off in cas and dean... for they both knew that sam never ever ever called you babe. but you brought the small vile to “sam” who drank it. after a few seconds you decided to test if it was working.

YN: im now gonna ask a series of questions but only Sam is allowed to answer.

both dean and cas were in agreement.

YN: lets begin. what is the numericle date of our anniversary?

Sam: 04.19.2006

YN: how did we meet?

Sam: we saved you from a vampire den after that we were hooked with eachother.

YN: you said something to me the day we stopped the apocalypse what did you say?

Sam: you are the most amazing woman i have ever known and i now know for sure that i want to spend the rest of my life with you however long it may be.

you now had to ask one final question and you knew that this one would have to be envoked by the incantation that goes with the potion.

YN: what is your name? in vino veritas!

the second you said that he kinda twitched and thats when he spoke.

Lucifer!sam: lucifer the ruler of hell the son of god that has been locked up in a cage for the last however long cause some of my people in hell decided i wasnt fit to rule the dark dominions.

dean held his hand towards you while keeping a hand held trained on his brother’s form. well at least what looked like his brother but was not his brother.

Dean: but how i thought Sammy wasnt gonna say yes to you, you dick bag. plus how did you get out of the cage... there wasnt anything to release you.

Lucifer!sam: actually you did, when you used those rings it opened an exit from the cage. you were mis informed on what you did and what were actually doing. that was meant to set me free... so when sam and i started arguing he agreed only cause i threatened to do harm to YN and her baby. oh well time to go start the apocalypse.

that was what set the moood in the room, your shock was real and yet something else no one expected was how protective Dean and cas suddenly became of you. this lasted several moments.

lucifer or sam or whoever that was had disappeared. he was laughing when he did. that became your new life.

Dean: i guess we all have a new mission or 2. one of them is to save sammy whatever it takes. the other is to protect YN and my brothers kid.

once you hit 3 months along you were only allowed to go on salt & burns as well as assist the occassional possession and haunting.

~but that is another story for another time~

#heaven and hell bingo #thisismysecrethappyplacesharethelove #spnfluffbingo

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dobrikburrito · 6 years ago

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great expectations, d.d.

words: 2.4k

Write something about david surprising his girlfriend with a surprise trip to like hawaii cos its her dream vacation and when the vlog goes up people compare it to the vacation dav and liza took and it makes her upset and her cheers her up. ( She wasnt a public figure and people didnt think they should be together)

disclaimer: angst & fluff. david being cute af.

⠀

“Okay, give it to me.” You sat down by the corner of his bed, putting both of your hands out and closing your eyes. You smiled to yourself. “That’s what she said.”

David burst out laughing. “Can you be serious for one minute?”

“You’re one to talk,” You opened your eyes and gave him a dirty look. “By the way, I just want to say on the record that David promised that nothing gross was about to happen here. I wanted to put this out there so he can be held accountable if I have a heart attack.”

David couldn’t stop laughing, so he pointed the camera to himself. “I did promise that, unfortunately, so I had to put the anaconda away.”

“That’s what she said.” You laughed and slapped yourself. “Bad (Y/N). Alright, me-serious. Go.”

“You know how our friends say we’re really annoying with the whole anniversary every month?” David started and you nodded. “So, I had this really fun idea, which actually makes me a genius.”

“Show off.” You commented under your breath and he chuckled.

“So I decided to combine our fourth month anniversary with your birthday and…” David put two plane tickets on your hands.

You looked at David, confused and then took one second to read the tickets. Your mouth instantly dropped. “What the fuck? Oh sorry.” David laughed. “Wait, are you serious? Is this real?”

“Yes, baby!” David was loving how shocked and paralyzed you were. “This says Hawaii in it.” You commented, looking at it, trying to find any clues that it was a fake ticket for a prank.

David turned the camera to himself. “She’ll get there, just give her a minute.”

“Are we going to Hawaii?” You looked at your boyfriend, puppy eyes and jaw to the floor.

“Yeap, we’re spending 7 days in a mansion in Hawaii.” David told you and the new information just hit you even harder?

“What the fuck?” You were looking away, shocked. David burst out laughing again.

Cut to you guys on the plane, first class tickets, with a fake flower on your ear, being all excited and childish. David ordered two glasses of champagne for the both of you.

“This is literally so extra,” You laughed, posing as some fancy old lady, then doing a british accent. “David, dear, would you please take care of my ponies for the summer. I’m spending it in my mansion in Dubai. I miss my liquid gold pool.”

“Why are you british?” David was laughing so much.

“I’m not talking like Dom to try and look fancy, silly.” You joked around, then smiling to your boyfriend.

You arrived to Hawaii, rented a porsche, headed to the rental house in Kamuela. David filmed you driving there, your hair flying on the wind, loving how big the smile on your face was. The drive was about 50 minutes, which earned some shots from the road, the two of you singing to Ariana’s songs and being overall weirdos.

David filmed your whole reaction to the massive mansion just for the two of you. Feelings every feeling known to man at once, you couldn’t help the tears of happiness when you saw how beautiful everything was. It had an infinity pool, a jacuzzi, a green big yard, enormous rooms with an amazing view to the sea and sunset. David didn’t want to tell you the day price of the rental at first, but you managed to get it out of him, shocked when he told you it was US$1.5k for the night.

It was a lot of money, but you made a 7-days schedule to enjoy the most of it and have so much footage for his vlogs that the trip would end up paying itself. Honestly, you were always amazed by how David never really thought twice about spending money on you and making sure that he was doing it because he loved to. Rarely spending on himself, this was just as rewarding to him.

The next three vlogs were filled with the funniest moments of you guys snorkeling, golfing, hiking, sightseeing, watching cultural concerts, doing surf lessons (which turned out horribly), visiting local markets even going on a helicopter ride, even though you were scared to death of the height.

On the fourth day, you woke up before David did. You just took one moment to watch him sleep, so peacefully, next to you. You knew how lucky you were to have him in your life, but not because he was a successful youtuber or because he had money. When you met him, randomly at a friend’s friend party, you didn’t even knew who he was and you loved him instantly, his humor and charm sweeping you off your feet.

Even though you weren’t a public figure nor ever was used to having cameras around, you got used to it, compromising for your relationship with him, knowing how this was basically his entire life.

“You know I can feel you staring at me, right, creep?” David said, eyes still closed but a little smirk lurking in his lips.

“I’m trying to decide when to murder you, that’s all.” You softly joked as you ran your fingertips over his cheeks. David loved your dark humor and laughed to himself, taking your hand and kissing it.

“Good morning my favorite serial killer.” He lazily opened his eyes.

“Good morning pretty boy.” You gave him a long peck on the lips. “Did I tell you how much I love you yet?”

“Not today, no.” David snuggled closer to you, humming happily when you started caressing his hair.

“I do. I love how you do that little smile with your tongue hanging and how no matter what you do to your hair, it always kinda looks both great and like you’re turning into a mad scientist.” David chuckled, hiding his face on your neck. “I love how you’re always looking to hold my hand, even when you don’t realize it.”

“Tell me more,” David gave you a sweet kiss on the neck.

“I love how you respect and love me. How you look at me with those shiny brown eyes and how those are the reason I never can’t get mad at you, which by itself makes me mad.” You sighed, then laughed. “And how selfless you are, how much you care for your friends even if sometimes you try to not to show it too much.”

“You wanna know what I love about you?” David looked up at you, his hair looking like he was definitely a mad scientist, which instantly made you chuckle. “I love your butt.”

You burst out laughing, putting your hand on his face. “Asshole, I was here pouring my heart out like a good old Todd Smith poem and you do me like that.” David chuckled for a good minute, hiding his face again and holding you tight. “My butt is pretty good, I guess.”

David nodded and you pulled his hair. “Ouch, (Y/N), the fuck.” He looked back at you. “Wait, do it again.” You rolled your eyes and tried to let go of him, only earning you deathly tickles.

Since his next posting day was tomorrow, you reserved half the day for David to edit some of the footage of the trip to post. The video was up early in the morning, after long hours of editing, so through the first couple of hours since the video was up, David was asleep on your bed.

Curiosity always got the best of you and you checked the video again, loving the whole montages and fun moments, but your attention soon focusing on the mean comments.

Can someone make an edit with all the same scenes from this vlog and David and Liza’s vlog in Hawaii? lol

Someone tell David he found a gold digger, plz.

She’s trying too hard to replace Liza, never gonna happen hun.

Who’s gonna tell her the minute Liza calls David will drop her ass? lmao

All this money dropping on what’s-her-name. Not even that pretty tbh.

Damn she must have a top sex game to whip him up like that.

How’s it like being a long-ass rebound for David while Liza is away?

This is literally the same trip he did with Liza wtf

David can do so much better she doesn’t deserve him

I kinda like her but she’s clearly after his clout

Every word was a knife to the heart, over and over and over again. It broke your heart how much comparison there was between you and Liza, and how come most of his fans never accepted you. This wasn’t the first time you read mean comments, but this time it was deeper. They knew exactly how to hurt you.

You were sitting by yourself by the porch, looking out of the amazing view of Hawaii, a dream come true for you. Wrapped up in a small blanket, you couldn’t help but cry to yourself. The feeling you had is that your relationship was doomed for the start and that you’d never live up to his fans’ expectations because you simply wasn’t Liza.

“There you are, I’ve been looking all over for you.” David made his way towards you.

You quickly cleaned the running tears, knowing it wasn’t doing much, since your face was read and swollen. David was taken aback by the sudden change of pace.

“Wow, (Y/N), are you okay? What happened?” Sitting by your side in the porch chair, his brows were furrowed, worried.

“Nothing, sweetie. I’m just thinking about everything and feeling so happy about this trip and how much I don’t deserve you for being so amazing.” You were a terrible liar and he knew you pretty well.

“I appreciate the compliments, but I don’t like when you lie to me.” David caressed your thigh, comforting. “We don’t keep secrets, remember?”

“I’m going to be fine, I promise. I just need one moment.” You laughed and cleaned the tears again.

“(Y/N).” That was all he said.

You sighed, knowing you wouldn’t get out of this so easily. Deciding to comply, you read him all the youtube comments you had read. David tried to speak in between, but you stopped him until you went through all of it. His hands slid through his face in frustration.

“I’m so sorry you have to go through this, baby.” He held your hand. “You don’t deserve this kind of hate. This is all my fault. I should’ve kept our relationship to ourselves.”

“This is not your fault. I love our relationship and I love our dynamic and somehow you made me love being in the vlogs. You know I support you no matter what, but I feel like I’m facing a war and losing everyday. No matter what I do, I’ll never be Liza. They’ll never accept me for me. I’ll always live down to unreachable expectations because I’m not famous nor funny enough or pretty enough or skinny enough.”

“You know I don’t care about any of that, isn’t that enough?” David’s heart was shattered by watching you cry like that, seeing how much you were hurting.

You caressed his hand with your thumb and smiled to yourself, though still sad. “Dave, when you introduced me to your life, I had no idea what any of this meant. You taught me a lot about how your life works and I adapted, because I wanted this, us. It’s so hard to be used to the cameras, the need for content, the clickbait, but I did it because I love you. You’re always enough for me, but I know I feel like I’m not enough for you.”

“(Y/N), don’t say that…” His eyes were starting to tear up.

“No, it’s okay. I understand. This is a big part of your life, it’s your career. You’d never ask me to give up on my job or personal dreams, neither would I.” You took a deep breath. “But I try to be strong and… T-to try and ignore all the hate, but it’s just so many comments. Instagram, youtube, twitter. The good ones are so rare.”

David didn’t know what to say. Your tears were rolling down your face again. “I know I shouldn’t look at it, but it’s stronger than me. I just wanted them to give me one real chance, you know?”

“Come here.” He said, pulling you up for a tight hug. “I know this sucks and it’s hurting you and I hate it, because you’re amazing and you don’t deserve any of this.” He caressed your hair. “You wanna know what I love about you? Besides your butt, I mean.”

You looked up and chuckled lightly. David cleaned the tears away.

“I love that you always check me when I’m being an idiot. You always give me your honest opinion. You treat my friends like family. You stay up late with me when I’m editing even if you sleep by the couch with me, because you don’t want me to be alone.” David caressed your cheeks. “You have the prettiest smile and seeing it instantly makes me happy, no matter what. You motivate me and inspire me. I love how you cook for me and how you’re always talking with my mom, letting her know I��m being healthy. How much my parents and siblings love you.”

You sighed, happy. You gave him a soft kiss on the lips.

“I love how you make me think about having kids, because I often see how much of a great mom you’d be. I love planning with you, surprising you, thinking about our future together, because I know that if I wanted to drop this whole thing tomorrow, you’d be there for me.” David kissed you again. “You’ll never be Liza and I love you for it, because I don’t want you to be. I want you to be you, because that’s who I fell madly in love with.”

“Oh my God. I’m crying more now, stupid. Look what you did.” Chuckling softly, you hugged him tight again. He returned the hug.

“I’m sorry these haters keep hurting you, but I promise I’ll be here to kick their ass and assure you that you’re absolutely amazing, okay?” David pointed out.

You nodded, overwhelmed by how much you loved that boy. “I love you, stupid.” You smiled.

“I love you too, dumbass.” David smiled and kissed all over your face.

#david dobrik #david dobrik x reader #david dobrik fluff #david dobrik angst #david dobrik one shot #david dobrik fanfic #david dobrik imagine #david dobrik imagines #vlog squad #liza koshy #request

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depressionbelikeamanda · 4 years ago

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Just felt i should start writing cause nobody would understand the way i do. So a letter to my future self.

It’s funny how depression is seeing like something that's just in your mind, no one treats depression like a broken arm, or an injury but ‘’try to think good things’’.

Nice to meet you, my name is Amanda, I’m 22 years old, a brazilian girl currently living in Ireland, working as a caregiver, doing IT, trying to survive my mental condition everyday, trying really hard by the way…

I’m not writing so people can see this, but because i need a place to express myself and not being judge. Maybe not even this, but a place that i can just write everything I’m feeling.

I don’t think most of people can understand what it is to have depression, anxiety or some mental problem, maybe because they are too busy with their lifes, maybe they just dont give a shit, maybe they way they were raised was so though they just don’t want to accept that people can have mental problems, or maybe smth else that i cant think right now. But yeah, everybody has their own reasons to not believe this is a real thing, but what can we do right? Even though there are many people struggling with depression, others mental problems, and studies that proves it’s real and we are not making this up, people still think it’s nothing, it’s just something that we can just turn to happy thoughts, right? If you can’t see the problem it means there is NO problem.

Anyway, I started writing this because I’m literally in the middle of a mental breakdown but (not saying the company i work for) the person who’s in the emergency line of my company doesn’t give a shit for mental health.

Is it fair that I called 2 hours before my shift starts that I was in the middle of a depression crisis?

Is it fair that she needs to find someone to cover me in this short period of time?

But I dont think it’s fair with myself as well that i have to work while I’m crying, feeling I’m gonna faint, vomit, that I’m feeling so weak my stomach is hurting, that I can’t barely breathe (No, it’s not corona cause i did the test and it was negative), that I have to cycle to EACH client even though I’m feeling all these things and I can literally fall from the bike, that I wasn’t taking my depression/anxiety medicines cause I didnt have enough money to pay for my medicines cause i dont even have money to pay my own rent (at least my friend gave me some so i dont have to freak out for some time). Yeah, I’m not working that much since when the pandemic started, used to work 43/45 hours per week and now I’m working just 23. I have my rent, bils, food, medicines, student loan… but as the emergency woman said ‘’you can’t stay without your medicines, it’s not that expensive, around 10 euros.’’, but i paid 36 and yeah, it’s not a lot of money, but for a student who has to pay everything by my own, it’s not working as much as I used to, don’t have money to pay my rent, food, imagine medicines… so, it’s just 36 euros, i’d love if someone could pay my medicines, i’d love if I could get strangers medicines, but I dont even have money to pay my medicines, imagine to pay the doctor AGAIN, and then start paying more for a medicine that right now I dont even have money to pay the ‘’normal’’ one. (Idk if it makes sense in English, cause not my first language, anyway). And I’m here in my client’s house waiting her to finish her conversation with her daughter so i can start working, my shift starts at 17:00 and it’s already 17:26, and i have to make her tea, smth to eat, wash the dishes when she finishes, but yeah, at least i dont have to talk with her cause im feeling so sick, my face is so huge right now cause i couldnt stop crying, I took 3 medicines to get better to finish this day but idk if is helping or making worse cause i wanna vomit so bad that idk whats happening.

Anyway, i finished my client and called my friend so he could help me to sort this out before i go to my next client at 20:00, he was teaching me how to breath so i can calm down, it worked a bit not even thought i was feeling tralking with someone who really knows and the best thing is that shes a psychologist, so I called her, i was crying like hell, explained everything that happened and she said that (not exactly in these words) i need to get help from a psychiatrist cause I’m always gonna have smth going on if i don’t get help, and as she said ‘’Headache, sore throat, depression crisis, that all these things that i have/feel is connected to my mental health…’’. I’m feeling so lonely and disappointed after she said this cause I know that ny mental health is because of my emotions 99% of times, but it’s dont think my sore throat was caused because im feeling sad. Two weeks ago when i felt my throat hurting I was pretty ok, I haven’t stoped with the medication at that time cause i still had it, and I was pretty ok actually, I just reported to the office cause when i got the virus for the first time the first symptoms i had was sore throat, and i dont have this often, like, in over 2 years i just had 3 times, the first time was tonsillitis, the second was because i got the virus, the third was two weeks ago and i still dont know what it was, cause i felt a bit strange so i reported because i thought it might be the virus, cause it was exactly what i felt before, so i did the covid test and it was negative so i know it wasnt the virus, but i didnto go to any doctor because as I said in the beginning of the text i dont have money to pay my rent, my medicines, I DO NOT HAVE MONEY TO SEE WHY MY THROAT IS HURTING, so i still dont know what it was, but i got throat medicines from my friend and then got better, so maybe smth like tonsillitis but not that strong cause tonsillitis feels worse than what i felt, anyway, coming back to 2 weeks ago, i just reported because I was afraid that it could be the virus and my clients were in dangerous, but now that i know how she feels about myself (even though it can be true) I won’t report any other symptom (she works in my company office), not cause im trying to get attention, cause no one is reading this, but myself, but cause i feel that the company doesnt take me serious. Anyway, I just wont report anything anymore, I just hope i don’t get anything that i can spread to my clients cause i do love them, and i care for them more than for myself, cause i dont give a shit if i die because of the virus, or anything, but if if my clients get this because of me id never forgive myself. Anyway, it’s just sad that a friend and a psychologist thinks that cause my emotions i have sore throat and headache and i’m not able to work because of THESE. Normally I’m not able to work for good reasons, I’m always honest with my company, I could totally pretend i felt from my bike so I couldnt work, I could give a really good excuse to not work, but instead i said the truth, cause i couldnt get my medicines cause I’m not working that much so i dont have money to pay anything and i was having an abstinence crisis and I was shaking, feeling vomiting, dizzying… anyway… Unfortunately people can’t understand whats happening with others cause they are not others, and even if we try hard we could never understand, unless we’re going through the same. The only thing we can do is support who we love, even if it doesnt make any sense for us, because for them it does.

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two-calicos-in-a-trenchcoat · 4 years ago

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CW: transphobia, homophobia. Also pretty long and I'm on mobile so I cant put a read more thing on it.

Ok so this is kind of a personal post so if you don't wanna hear about some of my personal drama, just scroll along. But I feel like I need to get this shit on record somewhere since I don't have the screenshots of the texts this is concerning anymore.

So a little over a year ago, I told the person who'd been my best friend, we'll call her E, since I was about 9 that I didnt want to be friends with her anymore. More on that later.

Back in senior year of high school I started thinking I might be Bi. I brought this up to E and she was super dismissive right off that bat. Saying that I wasnt, sounding like she was trying to console me. Like being Bi was this awful thing that I needed to worry about.

Well fast forward about a year and a half and I went up to my college with her so I could do new student orientation since I was starting the next semester. This is when the fact that I was Bi sort of smacked me in the face because the girl doing my orientation was super hot. I immediately knew I wouldnt be telling E that.

Fast forward to march of 2017. Its spring break. I've reconnected with my high school friends. I've never felt the need to hide my sexuality from them and they were instantly nothing but supportive of me. We never really hung out outside of school back in high school (or in elementary school either in Eric's case.) I start realizing that I've been having more fun with them then I ever did with E. And I finally had people to geek out about sciencey stuff with because E doesnt believe in science but eric LOVES science. It was nice.

Well a couple weeks after spring break me and Es mutual friend Althea asked me to drive her to the shelter so she could get her boyfriends cat fixed (it's way cheaper there then at the vet) and spent the day hanging out with her because she WAS planning to walk back there to pick up the cat afterwards and I was like "uh no. I'm not gonna make you walk across town by yourself." So I finally got to meet her boyfriend. Well that afternoon E came and picked me up to go up to the KU campus to get some more bus passes to go to our college in KC because our school was out of bus passes and didnt know when theyd get more.

Here's when I kinda started to realize I should maybe get out of this friendship. On the way to campus E starts telling me about her day at school and how "theres a girl that used to be a guy in one of my teachers other classes. It's making me uncomfortable."

Me: "that sounds like a you problem, E."

Now I knew she kind of thought that way already. She may not have said shit like that around our other friends but I had to hear it a lot. But because I'm pretty nonconfrontational and she was my only close friend outside of school and I was terrified of being alone, I usually just ignored it or politely debated her about it but generally just agreed to disagree. This was the first time I ever decided to speak up to her about it. Unfortunately I couldnt say much cuz her mom was the one driving us and i knew she agreed with everything E said.

But I'd been hanging out with althea and her boyfriend (who just so happened to be trans) all morning so suddenly having to hear E talk about how uncomfortable trans people make her got me more fired up than usual.

After this I slowly started distancing myself from her. I'd been hoping for a few years that she'd grow up and accept that not everyone is like her and try to be more open minded and accepting of people. Apparently that wasnt happening.

I stopped responding to her texts as often. I was trying to think of a way to talk to her about it but all my past friendships that fell apart, did so naturally and on a silent mutual agreement. So I was half hoping that would happen. Pretty stupid. Dont recommend. Just be straight with people.

After a few months of me only answering her texts every once in a while, she decided to start calling me multiple times a week. Often while I was at work. Sometimes from her mom and sisters phones when I wouldnt answer from her number. Idk y she thought that would work. She knows I hate talking on the phone.

I still didnt know what to say to her. I probably should've just told her I needed some space and she might've backed off for awhile so I could figure it out. But subway stressed me tf out. And i have no idea how you're supposed to end a relationship with your best friend of over 10 years.

(Also some of my other reasons for not wanting to be friends with her were specifically because of althea and I didnt want althea to get dragged into it. Unfortunately it ended up happening anyways. But basically back in highschool, if we were planning for all four of us (me, e, althea, and nikki) to get together, and nikki would have something come up, E would tell althea our get together was cancelled but would still have me come over and then made me promise not to say anything to althea about it.)

Around march or april of last year I blocked her family's numbers. This is when they started showing up at my work. The first time it happened I had a long ass line and was helping my coworker get through it before I left. Her sister came in by herself and just asked how I was doing but left pretty quick after she got her sandwich since it was busy. A couple more times they came and just parked outside like they were waiting for me to get off my shift but ended up leaving. The last time it happened E came in while I was there alone and I really didnt wanna have THAT conversation while i was at work alone and her crazy overprotective mom was out in the car waiting for her. So i made her sandwich very quickly so i could get her out as fast as I could.

I was planning on finally talking to her around the end of april but was still having trouble figuring out what to say.

Unfortunately any plan I had to let her down easy was sort of thrown out the window on may 13th of last year.

My mom texted me that morning about how she got a weird call from Es aunt. On her work phone. This is basically how that call went:

"IS THIS OLIVIAS MOM?????"

My mom, suddenly worried it's my work and something happened to me, "Yes?"

"Why isnt olivia talking to E anymore?"

"............I dont know."

So that kind of crossed a line for me. It really freaked my mom out.

I'm bad at articulating my thoughts when I'm mad or stressed out tho. So my friend Alice ended up writing out the text for me and I read through it to make sure it was ok.

Basically it said "I'm sorry but I dont think we can be friends anymore. The way you talk about the LGBT+ community makes me extremely uncomfortable, especially seeing as I am bisexual and have several friends in the community. The way you used to exclude althea from hanging out with us because you think shes annoying and then expect me to lie to her about it makes me uncomfortable. It was inappropriate to show up at my work unannounced to corner me into talking to you when I needed space. And it was even more inappropriate for your relatives to call my mom at work. I'm sorry I didnt say something sooner but I'm tired of pretending I'm ok with everything you've said over the years."

Then her mom texts me. I dont remember all of it but the gist was "you're a horrible person. E never judged you or anyone else (sure, miss "gay people are gross. I can see how conversion therapy might work." Totally isnt judging anyone and 100% cares about the lgbt+ community.) The only reason she did those things is because she was worried about you."

Then E left me a voicemail that I couldnt understand at all cuz she was crying and I felt terrible even tho everyone was telling me I shouldn't. Now I probably should've taken out the part about althea because it effectively threw my "not wanting to get althea involved" plan out the window. Honestly what really pissed me off about this next part both made me pissed at E but also at myself. E removed herself from the group chat I had with her, nikki, and althea. Blocked althea on Facebook and blocked her number. Didnt bother to explain why. I still feel terrible about this even tho althea has told me many times that it's fine and if she'd had to pick a side she wouldve picked mine. But I still felt like she at least deserved an explanation.

Alice told me to screenshot the texts. I almost didn't cuz I just wanted to forget about all this. But I did.

Anyways life moved on. Eric got a new phone and gave me his beat up galaxy s7. I stuck my s6 into a drawer and let it die and forgot about it.

Then on new years I got a call from althea. Not weird at all. She calls me every major holiday and birthday. Shes done this every year since junior year of high school.

Normal phone call at first. But then she says that her mom has been talking to E's mom. Apparently E's mom told altheas mom that I told E that althea hates her and thinks shes a terrible person and that's why E hasnt been talking to althea. Althea of course didnt believe that but wanted me know about it. This prompted me to try and charge up my old phone and get the screenshots off of it. I had it plugged in for a couple of days and it never turned back on. So that's out apparently.

That's also why I felt the need to get all of this written down. It may not be as great as having the actual screenshots but I'm bad at articulating my thoughts when confronted so I want to have something written down in case any of this comes up again.

#cw: transphobia #cw: homophobia #i needed to get this out while i could actually put it into words #this is the first time in a while that i actually can #personal #homophobia #transphobia #i never post stuff like this so hopefully im tagging it right

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readbythestarlight · 5 years ago

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c2e70

I miss Ashley :(((((

Sam has way too many props in front of him I’m nervous

Matt having to be like "Sam please don’t gloss over this the feature is actually really cool"

Oh man I wish Liam was actually in the room for this

Takiesin losing it at Sam’s ads is always my favorite part

[[MORE]]

I love how well Matt and the others handle the fandom drama. Just a reminder to love each other and a sort of stern look. No big grandstanding speeches or anything, just a reminder that we are a fandom who should be spreading love.

I don’t like that "seemingly" destroyed...

They need to message Yeza too because he’s just at home waiting

They should 100% have written this message before she sent it

YES tell her where you are right now

Cad’s right don’t act like you did anything wrong

I really think they should go back, regroup, maybe get some advice or some help

Idk man I know Cad sometimes sees the best in people and wants to trust them and maybe he’s wrong but I really think they should go back. They need help. They are so in over their head.

Frumpkin the therapy cat

"I don’t mean to raise my voice" Cad says while talking only moderately louder than usual

Cad’s so appaled by the fact that none of them know how to have any kind of faith

I don’t understand Fjord’s insistance that they are responsible

Oban would have done it anyway. This way they KNOW it’s happened.

Cad’s right. Jester’s right.

Beau and Fjord are both being pretty aggressive about this and it’s really interesting

I can’t decide whether that was a manipulative thing or a "we literally just don’t want to cause a panic by telling people there’s a monster demon god thing suddenly on the loose" thing

I don’t think that was a fair way to word that question, Beau. "Would a good guy serve a queen or save some people?" like that was not at all a fair way to ask. Y’all don’t have all the answers and Caleb’s right, you shouldn’t go off half-cocked

"Should I scry on Yasha?"//"Well at least she’ll know she’s not alone." MY HEART.

"I think disavowing authority simply because it is authority is reckless." Ooooo Cad hitting that nail on the head where Beau is concerned.

Jester being so sad and done is breaking my heart tbh

MotherfuCKING OBAN IS BACK ISNT HE

"The dead stare" too sad

FUCKING KNEW IT

I KNEW HE WASNT GONE

God dammit

"Seemingly" Matt said and I knew

"What if she was bad you guys? What if she was bad the whole time?" Oh Jester no </3

"She wasn’t." Thank you, Cad.

That’s an unfortunate point

What if they are heading to the main door

Which is very close

Don’t

That

All

Okay it looks like the Bright Queen has at least warned some people which is good

I can’t when Matt uses that accent because all I can think of is Skyrim

"Right now she’s definitely the orphanmaker" owwwww

M: "Make a stealth check"

S: "I’m not trying to steal them."

":O"

S: "I’m trying to buy them."

":O!!"

It was forged in the forest where he grew up?? And now he’s gonna reforge it in the kiln or something maybe?? Idk.

Dwueth’var. cool name.

It’s so cool to finally know something about the sword

Beau trying to make Jester feel better while internally being like "McFancypants??"

Jester doesn’t just need Fjord’s validation she needs EVERYONE’S validation

"Couldn’t sleep because I kept waiting for lightning" Beau was waiting for the Storm Lord to come save Yasha

C: "Caduceus is not the only one who’s good."

B: "You uh... talking about me?"

C: "Yeah, I am. You shit on yourself a lot. I see you do good every day."

Having Empire Kids feelings now

Ohhhhh Beau was supposed to take over the family business??

GASP Shakaste has gotten Luc to Nicodranus that’s good!

I hope

N: "You’re not chill?"

J: "No!"

"And you’ll meet the rest of your family" for Jester’s sake I don’t want the Traveler to end up being a jerk but I just can’t quite trust him

Time to go sailing again

"Let’s have the meeting at the volcano Cad wants to go to for convenience sake"

J: "It’s really hard. There’s so many things in the world and I thought it would be really cool to see it all. .... But a lot of it is just really sad, a lot of people getting hurt." :(

TT: "But there is beauty in sadness too. Without those moments it’s hard to appreciate the beauty. You’ll be sad again. To live is to be sad, time and time again. But you also get to be happy. You get to be playful. You get to be mischievous. Just know no matter where you are, I’m not far. And also know... you’re not the only one being watched over anymore. There are many voices, many eyes upon you. ... Wherever your friend Yasha is, I’m sure there’s some very powerful eyes on her that never left."

J: "Good ones? Helpful ones?"

TT: "I’ve seen the storm myself."

Alright fine I like him and I trust him and I’m gonna regret it

Beau listening for thunder again </3

What the FUCK is this Yeehaw Game Ranch ad omg

GUYS

GUYS YOUR MOORBOUNDERS

Literally anyone but Fjord

"I’m just gonna lie to her" see it needs to NOT be Fjord

Oh damn so their information was good?? There was an attack on the garrison and there were the assassination attempts

That’s good. It gives them a little cushion here.

Wait fuck do you think Dairon is the assassin they caught??

It is Dairon isn’t it

oh fuck is it Astrid??

I can’t decide which will be worse

AYYYYY BOY

ESSEK I missed you

Oh boy here we go who is it

I am so anxious

Oh shit he said her name

oh god

Oh no

Ohhhhhhhhhhh godddddd

Oh shit now he’s said his own name

FFFFFUCK

oh god it’s not Astrid

AND HE MIGHT HAVW JUST GIVEN HIMSELF AWAY

FUCK

nope nope nope

Well this woman has to die now

"I’ve heard things about you Bren. Welcome back."

NOPE.

"Some of us get tired of macabre fairytales. Enjoy your mouth full of lies when they choke them out of you." Damn.

Awww Yeza has been cleaning and making things neat because he’s LONELY HE’S BEEN ALONE SO LONG

Caleb, babe, be careful

You are emotional and making very curious decisions about what you are choosing to reveal

Stone, Dust, and CLAY huh?

I’m suuuuuper into this lore this is great

I wanna know if it’s Matt’s or Taliesin’s or a mix of both

Cad: "I’m 2000 years old"

N: "Are you shitting me right now?"

Cad: "Yeah :D"

Caleb is confusing everyone and it’s quite funny but also a bit sad he’s clearly so shaken

Beau’s definitely in trouble

Good episode! Honestly Laura really carried it this week, with the amazing Jester feels. Taliesin too.

Good ep. Gooooood ep.

#cr spoilers #emi watches critical role #critical role

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thegeminisage · 5 years ago

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alright im about to watch 5.03 of merlin for the 2nd time ever

because if i dont do it now i may NEVER GET ANOTHER CHANCE

but first i wanna get out of the way that i thought merlin convincing arthur to keep the ban on magic in 5.05 because he was trying to thwart ~*~destiny~*~ or whatever is the laziest writing ever, it’s unsatisfying for the audience, it renders the rest of the last season utterly pointless, it’s unfair to merlin and arthur, and the tonal shift of the show from farting trolls in season 2 to full greek tragedy in season 5 was completely unwarranted and i feel TRICKED as a human person because i expected the end to be bittersweet and make me sad, not table-flipping angry, and i do not at all have high hopes for the finale

but i can ignore something having a “bad last five minutes” i did it for life is strange and final fantasy 13-2 i will do it for merlin but honestly

speaking on 5.03, after it was over the first time i was like “i can never write my fanfic now because nothing i ever do will be as good as that” but i’m really relieved in that way that that was apparently the last good episode of merlin because now i can continue my work in peace and maybe hopefully even actually finish it

okay commence the liveblog:

love that arthur and merlin are down to just jump off their horses whenever random women start screaming in the distance. season 5 could have been so good, they’re so much more grown up and in sync with one another, i absolutely LOVE their #vibe

it was interesting to me also that arthur DEMANDED a fair trial for this woman despite her being accused of sorcery. god, he was SO CLOSE?? that hatred of magic just can’t really take root in him especially with uther gone...arthur may be an asshole in the early seasons, and he may be quick to anger and quick to lash out in that anger, but it’s just not in him to be cruel, especially needlessly

EVEN THIS LADY IS LIKE “u showed kindness and compassion” arthur is a Good Boy deep down he is he IS he didn’t care a bit about that horn she gave him but still politely said it was beautiful

although lmao the way his face changed when she said it was magic...that’s the STUFF

lowkey losing it at athony head in the credits. i was looking to see if he’d be in the s5 ones since he’s dead and didn’t see him in 5.01 or 5.02 so when i DID see him in 5.03 i was like haha no way did they pay to put him in here i guess i just missed him the first couple of times BUT I WAS WRONG

like, in buffy, they spend an entire episode trying to decide whether or not to necromance their mom or whatever and she doesnt actually APPEAR IN THE EP they never SEE her i thought this would be an episode ABOUT uther i didn’t think uther would be IN it

love that from the get-go arthur’s face screams “i am thinking about making a terrible mistake” and merlin’s face is like “he is thinking about making a terrible mistake”

i’m quite proud of merlin in s5 actually. bad writing aside he uses multiple braincells many times per episode. it’s a vast improvement. same energy as clary from shadowhunters right down to getting shafted in his final season

ive said it before and ill say it again gwen looks SOOO GOOOOD as queen

if this is the anniversary of uther’s death then (if you go by 1 season = 1 year) arthur just turned 30...it’s been nine years and change since merlin met him, and by the end of season 5 it will have been an entire decade

in an otherwise increddibly heavy episode arthur panicking and throwing all the apples out of the bowl so he could cover the horn with it is absolutely priceless. season 5 if nothing else has really hammered home for me what a TERRIBLE liar arthur is - merlin got good at it fast out of necessity but arthur can’t hold a poker face to save his LIFE. “leave it.” “why??” “because i’m telling you to and i’m the king of camelot” buddy......

we were ROBBED. if there had ever been a day where arthur came to accept merlin’s magic but still had to help merlin hide it there could have been an entire episode of arthur nearly blowing merlin’s cover because he’s a nervous nelly and at the end he goes “i cant believe you have had to do this 24/7 for YEARS without a single friend to help you” and merlin goes “well now i have you” anyway.

i love also that repeatedly when arthur goes to do something scary by himself he also brings merlin. they LITERALLY are two halves of a whole

“you’re threatening me with a spoon??” i can’t tell you about the unfortunate fanfics i have seen involving The Spoon. i shall also not mention the ones involving The Glove. we will not speak of it

I CANNOT BELIEVE STONEHENGE IS IIN MERLIN. i got so agitated i did not pay one bit of attention to the conversation following its reveal and me and cathy and had to rewind so i could listen properly

my hate-on for stonehenge goes thusly: stonehenge apocalypse, starring misha collins, is @callowyn‘s favorite movie. i have seen it 45 times. i hate it nearly as much as she loves it. it’s an age-old battle

merlin is so intense when he looks for signs in arthur that he DOESN’T totally hate magic...arthur using magic to see his dad again is one of those signs. he’s willing to turn to it in desperation - maybe he’d be willing in less desperate times too

“my father was taken from me before his time” i mean...he was practically in a coma. so like. he wasn’t

love that when arthur mentions merlins dad ONCE he immediately looks like he’s about to cry. mood. i also want to cry every time i think about merlins dad

up until the moment i laid eyes on uther i was SURE they werent actually gonna do it. i came into this thinking it was a FLASHBACK EP

for the record (and believe me i NEVER thought i’d say this) even though i waited and waited for his demise and cheered when he was gona for good...i really missed uther in season 4. at least with uther you know what you’re getting. agravaine (his replacement as “evil guy who keeps us from being able to solve our problems too easily”) was a slimy cowardly CREEP. and in season 5 i WISH things were as simple as “work around uther’s pigheaded unreasonableness”

for a hot second i really thought uther and arthur would have a nice conversation where they reconciled or said something heartwarming. i was worried about an uther redemption arc - this guy is responsible for the genocide of magic users, he doesn’t deserve redemption - but this show said NOT TODAY and they said it QUICK

ARE

BLESSED

i have A LOT of issues with season 5 but JESUS FUCKING CHRIST THIS WAS DADDY ISSUES 2.0 BROUGHT BACK FROM THE DEAD

repressed trauma returns: harder better faster stronger!! that’s the STUFF

was i not just speaking the other day on my fanfic ask meme about how i love emotionally intense stuff? this is IT babey

uther’s such a bad father! he’s with his only child again for the last time in ever and all he does is tear him a new one! this is why arthur’s such a fucked-up human being (morgana too)

i’m THRILLED we got to revisit this. his eyes get bigger and bigger and he starts fucking stammering and by the time uther’s done calling him weak and a failure he looks ready to CRY. i was HOLLERING. i still couldnt believe uther was even HERE and not only is he HERE he’s a WRECKING BALL

“this CAN’T be the last time i’ll ever see you” oh buddy you’re gonna wish it was

and he looks back, as he leaves. of COURSE he does. just like lot’s wife. so it goes.

you know how at the end of every supernatural episode sam and dean debrief and talk about their feelings in the car? for merlin and arthur it’s almost always done around a campfire at night - sometimes in arthur’s chambers or other places, but usually out here in the wilderness where it’s just the two of them. i’m...really going to miss it, when it’s gone.

“my father doesn’t approve of the way i’ve chosen to rule his kingdom” “you mean YOUR kingdom”

you know i don’t think i really got...like, fundamentally, on a deep level...that merlin fucking HATES uther

i’ve seen him save uther’s miserable life so many fucking times that i thought for merlin it was kind of the way it was with gwen - he feels nothing for him, but he looks after him for arthur’s sake (or as i came to understand later because he’s professor x about the whole thing)

but the way his expression got SO UGLY when arthur revealed that uther just shit-talked him the entire time...holy fuck

between that & some other stuff that happens later it really paints a clearer picture of like...uther’s dead so merlin doesn't have to hold back anymore and he FUCKING HATES HIM?? like obviously he SHOULD bu i just never SAW it before this. merlin LOATHES him. it’s INCREDIBLE to witness when he bore it so silently for so long. maybe even merlin didn’t realize just how much he hated him until now

and not to get too real here but if youve ever been friends with someone who had an abusive/toxic parent or was in an abusive/toxic relationship and you watch them feeling like shit after and they start making excuses for that asshole like “oh yeah he’s right about x” and you just want to find this horrible person and THROTTLE THEM that emotion is like ALL OVER merlin’s face rn. i didn’t actually seriously "”ship”” merlin and arthur until late season 4/early season 5 (i didnt like dislike it i just wasnt actively bothered by a lack of it) and what changed was this vibe. merlin wants to kill uther all over again just because he made arthur feel this way. he’s so fuckijng PROTECTIVE

and he still almost manages to drag a smile out of him via roasting, god bless these 2

ok so i didnt believe this show would actually DO THAT re: putting uther himself in this ep but i was doubly shocked by the fact that he HITCHED A RIDE AND GOT OUT

me shrieking during this entire poltergeist sequence: OH MY GOD OH MY GOD IT’S REALLY HIM?? HOLY FUCK HE IS LITERALLY HAUNTING ARTHUR I CAN’T BELIEVE THEY’RE DOING THIS I CAN’T BELIEVE THEY’RE GIVING US THIS etc etc etc

actually most of that was probably muffled nonsense because i was yelling with both hands over my mouth

percival’s the realest motherfucker on this whole show. dude survives a murder attempt in which he got an AXE lobbed at him by the fucking GHOST of a power-mad genocidal king and he’s like: yeah idk i guess it fell

there was thunder in the bg for this WHOLE ep and i’m Big into it

absolutely CACKLING at the bit where merlin has to ask arthur if he looked back at uther’s spirit. it’s one of those nice big heavy questions - so heavy, in fact, that arthur can’t answer, can’t even LOOK at merlin, either because he’s ashamed or because he’s bugging out or both. you thought this shit was over? it’s never over! daddy issues are a lifelong ride, pal! arthur’s just get to haunt him literally this time. god it’s so fucking good

can i just say? merlin reads that damning silence reeeal well. and it’s a big, heavy thing to know about arthur - but then again he knows all the big heavy things about arthur

the score for this episode is really good too...very suspenseful and good, adds a lot to the atmosphere, keeps it from getting too slow

there’s a hint of merlin’s absolute HATRED of uther in this conversation again - the way his face tightens when he says “uther would do anything to protect his legacy and that makes him dangerous, who knows what he’s capable of now”

and arthur dismisses him because he can’t hear this but merlin almost refuses to leave - and when he DOES leave, he doesn’t take his eyes off arthur for one fucking second. he stares him down all the way out of the room. i don’t think it’s because he’s angry with arthur, per se - he’s angry with uther, and he knows uther in a way arthur never can or will, as someone ruthless who will kill without warning or remorse. he’s afraid of uther and he’s trying to get arthur to be afraid of uther too before it’s too late and LSDKFJGHSLDFJH

if you’re thinking “thats a lot to interpret from one look” yes it is but i’m right. IT’S A BIG, HEAVY LOOK. NICE AND LOADED. love unpacking all of that

i cant believe this dude tried to KILL GWEN like he really is coming after everything that makes arthur happy. im so glad it was merlin that saved her. i really do think merlin is her best friend

multiple times in this serious arthur fidgets when he’s nervous or thinking, usually with his hands near his mouth. i am endeared to him. my poor boy

“i always knew my father could be cruel but why would he do this to gwen when he knows i love her” BECAUSE HE’S CRUEL

merlin knows. merlin knows his cruelty much better than arthur. boy does he know. i’m dying. it’s fine

love that at this part of the ep we slide seamlessly into the “merlin and arthur are both scared shitless” section which was truly one of my favorite things about the s4 opener. they’re both so fucking jumpy and giving each other shit about being frightened and continuing to be frightened anyway. the DELICIOUS IRONY of arthur finally being scared of uther in the way merlin has been scared of uther for Y E A R S oh my god it’s so GOOD

do also love the entire silent conversation they have when deciding what to do about the door. this is what i mean by their upgraded vibe.l in the early seasons merlin wouldn’t have understood and his lack of understanding would have been played for laughs. now they’re totally in sync

here’s the thing, gaius could have made this magic “able to see uther’s ghost” potion for just arthur and he didn’t. he made it for both of them. everything arthur does merlin does. they’re partners in all things. they’re COMPANIONS. and this is why i finally now Ship It. tragic.

you know this is a kind of weird comparison but late seasons arthur reminds me JUST a bit of gwaine. he complains so much less that he sort of has that same “roll with whatever” vibe to him. pretend to faint so you can steal some guy’s dagger? why not. take this foul potion that may kill us? sure, let’s do it. come what may he’s not really fussed. much more unflappable

until he starts getting spooked again LMFAO

we do love a good pair of spooked dumbasses. this is charming and entertaining.

leon HAD to know they were lying about poetry. he probably thought they were having.......a tryst,

love also that even in this very dire moment merlin does NOT miss the chance to have some fun at arthur’s expense. that’s true friendship

i got jumpscared three separate times during this ep and one of them was when uther was glaring down merlin and arthur in the hallway after leon left

arthur didn’t jump but he did go hunting after him and to his credit he does not look scared. he looks like a man who is trying to deal with his business and get his shit together

merlin made that FACE again when arthur expressed sadness at hunting his own father because all he ever wanted to DO was make him proud

honestly it’s like since he can’t shit-talk uther he just sings arthur’s praises instead like this here is a guy who is just barely holding his tongue about how fuckin pissed he is. i cant believe it

splitting up was the WORST idea. have they not seen scooby doo??

love that when merlin gets cornered by uther’s ghost and gets scared he yells for arthur and when arthur gets scared because his torch blows out he yells for merlin. you fools, why did you SPLIT UP

uther locks arthur in the room with him, which is already some top tier content, but doubly good? it’s the same room in which arthur nearly ran him through in 2.08. don’t think i didn’t notice. i did notice. i was shrieking into my hands.

seriously this is a pretty calm liveblog but the first time i watched this ep my face was like this the whole time: O O

just kept going “HOLY FUCK HOLY FUCK OH MY GOD” over and over. it was greeat

“arthur your fatal flaw is that you put too much trust in other people” do you think arthur, who now has a complex about people betraying him, ever forgot that for one second in his entire life afterward? me neither

speaking of 2.08 arthur dropped some FACTS “your hatred comes from fear” i'm sure they didn’t do it on purpose but #throwbacks

i’m fully experiencing human emotion. “i’m not you, i can’t rule like you did” he’s trying SO HARD to fight his way out of that bullshit

also lmao arthur like “then you’ll have to kill me” and uther like “yeah okay” arthur didn’t KNOW how this man was this could have been SUCH a good awakening

AND NOW IT’S TIME

FOR MY FAVORITE PART OF THIS EPISODE

when i say merlin hates uther. WHEN I SAY MERLIN H A T E S UTHER

HIS LINE HERE. ok. “get away from him, uther. you’ve caused enough harm” he’s furious! he’s GROWLING!

“you are just a serving boy” “i am much more than that” listen. human words cannot express the emotion that ran through me. when they said “we’re gonna bring back anthony head as uther” i doubted. when they said “he’s gonna be the bad guy and reopen all of arthur’s old wounds” i doubted. when they said “he’s still here LITERALLY haunting arthur who now has to HUNT HIM” I DOUBTED. i didn’t believe they’d do any of it until it was happening on my screen. but ONE LOOK at merlins face made a MOTHERFUCKING BELIEVER out of me. i knew exactly what he was about to do. pretty sure i gasped “NO” in astonishment

AND HE DID THAT

HE👏

DID👏

THAT👏

NOT ONLY. DID I SHRIEK ALOUD. FULL SCREAM. WHEN IT HAPPENED THE FIRST TIME. BUT JUST NOW. WHEN I WATCHED HIM DO IT AGAIN. MORE SCREAMING.

how LONG do you think merlin had ACHED to do that

to show himself to uther for what he was, what he REALLY WAS, someone to be reckoned with instead of someone to be overlookedd, without fear of consequences

i can’t even like

like just imagine the triple rush of 1. satisfaction 2. rage 3. lingering habitual terror

i think at this moment merlin was closer to and more like morgana than he had ever been and maybe ever will be again. because the two of them have so much in common but one thing i didn’t really clock until now is how much they both hate uther

it’s so good. uther is SHOCKED and DISMAYED and this is like merlin’s old fear come back from death too (getting found out by uther) while at the same time being a dream come true (getting to tell uther what he really thinks, who he really is - “i was BORN with it!”) he’s so ANGRY! he is LIVID!)

he’s also really SATISFIED like “even while you were king there was magic at the heart of camelot” GOD how long has he been WAITING for this and not even realized it

and like then uther starts spewing his hateful bullshit and stalking forward with the intent to kill and my guy merlin who should be terrified STANDS HIS MOTHERFUCKING GROUND and says right over him “you’re wrong, you’re wrong” for thirty beautiful seconds merlin really got to be free. i know i will keep comparing things to 2.08 until i die but it’s just like when arthur was almost ready to kill uther in cold blood because for one perfect, brilliant moment he really and truly saw clearly the world as it was. i really love these moments...the strength of their respective convictions is so gratifying

merlin yeeting uther through a door is also gratifying although i have no idea what he hoped to accomplish by following without waking arthur first

i. LOVE. that the camera lingered a little on the spears or whatever after merlin walked by them. nice little foreshadowing moment

THOSE SPEARS GOT AWFULLY CLOSE BUT IM PRETTY SURE UTHER MISSED ON PURPOSE BECAUSE HE WANTED TO TAKE HIS TIME. HIS MISTAKE

okay merlin spent the better part of a lifetime dreading uther’s death sentence and here’s uther stalking down a hallway sword pointed at his chest and certain death is IMMINENT and what does merlin’s face look like?

arthur comes in with the rescue and INSTANTLY his expression changes to?

IT’S BETTER IN MOTION BUT HE LOOKS READY TO CRY

my immediate thought: oh jesus what if uther outs him

i knew he wouldnt bc of spoilers but i would bet a benjamin that that was merlin’s first thought too

tbh. i wish he had.

i kind of wonder if merlin doesn’t wish the same thing. like yes being outed like that is terribly violating and he’s terrified of telling arthur obviously or he would have already but at the same time there would be so much relief once it was finally out. no more secret-keeping. no more burden

i mean, if you go back and watch it, dude’s straight up shaking. he’s trembling all over. he’s losing it. that last teary glance they exchanged.......

uther was two SYLLABLES away from blowing the whole thing

and in a better happier canon where arthur knows and was waiting for merlin to tell him this is like double angst because uther wouldve ben blowing something for them both

i like arthurs followup of realizing that he’ll never be able to please uther (step 1 of breaking away from the cycle of abuse) but for the LIFE OF ME

i will NEVER be able to understand why they segued into this GLOVE THING

i’m not talking about the glove thing

i will say however that by the end of this episode i was so hysterical i had to get up and get water and pace around my kitchen for ten minutes fanning my own face

and that’s it. that’s the second-best episode of merlin and the last good episode there ever was

#personal #merlin blogging #it took me three and a half hours to rewatch this episode because i kept pausing to scream #MERLIN DESERVES TO BE OUT TO EVERYONE ALL THE TIME it's not FAIR #that episode deserved to be 20 minutes longer it ended too soon #in a happier world arthur found out about the magic and immediately took merlin's side and defended him against the genocidal maniac but app #apparently this show is a greek tragedy now

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