#help i'm rly proud of these

[fourthgem]

if anyone has anything they want giffed from the fanmeeting, let me know, bc a surprising percentage of my screenrecordings turned out pretty decent~!

they performed every single msp ost and just as many extra songs as well 😳 and then there are the ments too, ofc :’)

[helloidkwhatimdoing-0]

Been doing some art and I'm feeling a lot better than earlier!!

[hoseoksluna]

PRACTICE | jjk

pairing: dom!jungkook x reader

genre: smut; fluff

word count: 4.9k

summary: you make jungkook proud by practicing what he taught you.

warnings: jungkook smiling and being all dominant!!!, also manly as fuck, use of his korean name cuz it's hot, masturbation, reader is horny and just a girl!!, biker mask (gasp), edging, orgasm denial, oral sex (f. receiving), dom/sub dynamics, squirting, desperation, porn, use of a sex toy, brief nipple play, spanking, bratty behavior <3, degradation, praise, the beauty of cumming together, mentions of sex, aftercare

note: it's entirely jungkook's fault that i wrote this bc he made me h word. i hope you enjoy the very first of the many smutty one shots i'm planning to write!! i had the time of my life writing this, imagining 3D!jungkook cuz he's just so delicious there. my weakness. fuck my life!! pls let me know what you think <3 like and comment (reblogs r very useful but i won't pressure u angel). love you!!

side note: i rly fucking miss jungkook. that's all. byebye

Stars fill your vision as your hand works wonders between the softness of your legs. You are fucked. Oh so deliciously, majestically and colossally fucked. And you whimper once the wave of that pleasure you burn for unfolds within your body. Arch your back. Roll your hips. Huff and puff until you near your breaking point. Then you lift your hand. 

The surge ebbs away and you sink your teeth into your puffy bottom lip, desperation scorching each and every perimeter of your skin.

You enjoy this. The smug on your face couldn’t be wiped off even if you tried. You've been going at this for a dozen of minutes, sitting on your dark green couch with your legs spread, one hand rubbing circles on your needy bundle of nerves, the other gripping your phone with all its might, how it hasn’t cramped yet is beyond you, as it plays a dirty porn that does very little to quench your thirst. Your closest friend for the time being, have been ‘for the time being’ for much longer than you care to admit, a small pink vibrator Pinkie, keeps you company beside you while you swallow every grunt and whimper the couple in the video makes. It's turned off, however. Resting in the shadow of the threatening calamite that your shaking thighs are. You can't edge yourself with it when you're this fucked, so deeply lost in the rosy maze of lust. You would have to keep the head on your clit for merely a second, otherwise you'd be coming, and you'd be coming fast but not very hard. And where’s the fun in that? It still keeps you thirsty, your insides begging you again and again for another hit of dopamine, for just one drop of cum. Well, your pussy mainly.

It’s a persistent problem for you. You get horny, you touch yourself and you come under two minutes or less. The hit so small in quantity, so weak in quality that you inescapably need more than one round to be satisfied. The situation is even more problematic when you get down to it with your boyfriend. It doesn’t matter much when you’re on the receiving end; you enjoy yourself, you look forward to his dick splitting you open, so it just cuts time. Although it does matter when he fucks you like the man he is. You clamp down on him, and he comes as fast as you do. You can’t help it. You’re so enamored with him, with his masculinity and his dominance, it burns your body alive. Who are you to tell your body no? It’s impossible. He’s impossible, and absolutely irresistible. Though you wish you could get lost in the pleasure, and you truly do each time you have sex, and it gets unfairly swept away from you. You’re just a thirsty girl. This unjust treatment pisses you off.

You opened up to your boyfriend about this and he laughed in your face, stroking your cheek. Told you it’s what he loves about you and you just rolled your eyes, dismissing it. Then he took your hand and sat you down again, offering you a solution that changed your life. For the worst at first, for the better the more you did it.

He suggested you try edging yourself when you play with your pussy. He showed you the ropes the first time, guiding you through a long process of denied orgasms, and you wanted to strangle him. You had to lift your hand when he said so, otherwise you were getting spanked. The joke was on him because you enjoyed the harsh sting, the roughness of his palm on your skin. But then it was him who was laughing when he pinned your arms above your head and confiscated your pleasure. You squirmed. Whined. Waited. Then he fingered you and you came so hard you saw stars, the orgasm just kept going and going. You were satisfied after one round. Problem fixed.

“Practice it until your body learns,” he had told you and you almost came again.

What a man.

The memory of this teaching lesson is what got you thirsty right now, actually. 

You pay attention to the way the guy in the video squishes the tits of the lucky girl in the video and fucks them with his cock. You moan, lowering your fingers to your clit again and starting a series of slow circles. Your fingers are slippery from your leaking essence and the sweat on your folds from your marvelous torment, and it turns you on even more. You feel your orgasm coming, despite your pace, and you eat your fist in exasperation. Should you say fuck it and finally make yourself come? You hear the order uttered by your boyfriend in the back of your head, remember how long he told you to edge for that one time, and you want to make him proud (you do!), but then the girl licks at the slit of his cock and you clench around nothing. You want that so bad and you groan, anger and desperation creating something so sinful, so unhinged inside of you.

Resuming your movement on your bud, you pick up the pace because fuck it, you can’t take it anymore. The pressure, the anticipation of chasing after what you desire is so sweet and it fills you with energy and giddiness. Fuck jogging, now you're sprinting, clenching your muscles, nearing closer and closer to the finish line. You lift your knees, riding your hand, moans spilling from your mouth. You'd come right on the spot if it wasn't for the ding of a sudden text message snapping you out of your daze.

Your heart thuds in your chest. Fuck, did you not turn on 'do not disturb'?

koo: I'm here

You stare at the notification in disbelief. Beneath it, the guy is fucking the girl's throat. You screech, burying your face in your hands. What is your boyfriend doing here so early? You aren't supposed to see each other until later tonight, or are you forgetting something? Your mind is spinning, another denied orgasm taking a toll on you. Sighing, you slip your legs into your panties and your plush pajama pants, your feet finding their comfort in your fluffy slippers. Since he's here, he's gonna make himself extremely useful, you decide, putting on your warm bathrobe with Mickey Mouse on it and grabbing your keys.

As you descend the stairs from your apartment, the sticky wetness between your legs makes you uncomfortable. Your eyebrows furrow in anger. Does a girl really have to suffer in order to reach a mind-blowing orgasm these days? You scoff to yourself, sinking your key into the lock of the door to the main building. The key doesn't budge, though, and it almost makes you punch that fucking door. The lock has been sporadically working and not working for months, hence why the door needs to stay locked properly at all times, and nobody has so far taken the time to call someone to repair it. You kick the door with your knee and you hear a laugh behind it. You recognize it belongs to your boyfriend and you smile to yourself, finding the sweet sound stupidly cute. Your hand reaches for the key again and you turn it. To your surprise, the lock doesn't fuck around and actually lets you see your boyfriend.

Jeongguk is standing beside his motorcycle, black helmet under his armpit. Your eyes widen when they discover his face is hidden under a biker mask of the same color. You haven’t seen him with his bike in quite some while. He prefers to drive you around in his car lately. It’s winter after all. He keeps you warm, sneaks his fingers between your legs, rubs your pussy through your jeans to tease you because he likes it when you’re needy for the rest of the evening. Oh, and you eat there so icicles don’t hang from your hands. Food, that is. You get it.

It’s a wonderful surprise, nonetheless. Only his orbs and eyebrows are visible, his pouty mouth creates shapes on the mask that almost causes you to see stars again. Yeah, you think you could come like this, staring at his tall figure dressed in a puffer jacket and gray baggy jeans laying dangerously low on his hips. Even though you know how big his dick is, the size of them makes him appear even bigger and you salivate. Your pussy drools, too. You're about to get on your knees right now, you don't care.

"Looks like I'm gonna have to fix that fucking lock myself," Jeongguk remarks.

Oh, fuck. He's so manly.

Just one suck. Fuck, please. Just one.

You're going to scrape your fucking knees on the ground for everyone to see, you genuinely don't care. He deserves it for looking like that, for acting like such a man.

Your clit gains a heartbeat (again) and you blink up at him, desperation once again unfurling its flames under your skin. You smile behind the pain, finding the whole situation completely ridiculous now.

"I'd be grateful," you purr and Jeongguk walks towards you, smiling like the little shit he is, helmet still under his armpit. You lift the hem of his mask to reveal his delicious lips, piercing-less. You kiss him, moonstruck. "I'm tired of this shitty lock."

Jeongguk nods. "Noted." Then he kisses you again. "It was funny how you kicked it."

You laugh. He takes off the mask entirely and you both walk up the stairs to your apartment, though a pang of disappointment hangs onto your heart. You wish he kept the mask on. It was nonsensically hot to you. A lightbulb flares to life in your mind abruptly and you hide your smirk beneath the curtain of your hair.

Yeah, you’re going to make him wear it as you suck him dry.

Your giddiness extends to another level and you hurriedly walk up the rest of the stairs to your apartment, your butt jiggling under your thick robe.

Jeongguk walks in like he owns the place. He sets his helmet on the kitchen island and his mask right beside it. You watch as he empties out his pockets. Wallet, phone, keys, a pack of cigarettes and a purple lighter. Leaning over, he hangs his winter jacket on one of the barstools. His back muscles ripple under his oversized black T-shirt with each movement of his arms. What steals your attention, however, is the sliver of skin that he unwittingly lets you see as he fixes his jeans to rest a little higher on his hips. 

White Calvins. 

Oh, yes. 

The dip of his spine on his lower back.

You lick your lips.

The smallness of his waist that grows into such a vulgar broadness of his shoulders. 

Fuck, you do everything you can to not bite onto your finger; instead you opt to hide your drool beneath your hand as you continue to wait behind him, tracing your lower lip with the acrylic nail on your thumb, diabolical with your stand and your plan. Crossed arms, needy pussy and all.

What a man.

What a fucking man.

You squeeze your thighs together.

When he turns away from the kitchen, you leap to the counter. You snatch the mask and gaze at it lovingly. Such an innocent thing, and it made you this hot and bothered. You shake your head at the bizarreness of it all, but your smile remains.

"What the fuck were you doing here?"

You gasp at the sternness in his tone, hiding the mask under your armpit similarly like he did with his helmet downstairs. You don't understand where his abrupt austerity stems from, but it makes your legs wobbly, so much that you bump into him as you hurry to see what he sees, grabbing his arm as if to say sorry. And then your heart drops.

A round wet spot adorns your dark green couch, where you sat and pleasured yourself before he came. Your best friend Pinkie, sticky and lifeless, almost beams at you in mischief. A smile of your own begins to quiver on your lips before you burst into giggles, a tiny amount of shyness painting your cheeks with rosiness.

“I was practicing?” you answer truthfully, lilting your voice a little bit.

Jeongguk closes his eyes at your words, his lips forming a thin line. Hangs his head. Slouches in your grip. It is a stark contrast to how he entered your apartment. His breath quickens and you watch the raise and the fall of his chest. You realize this means only one thing.

"Are you crazy?" Jeongguk says, eyes still closed. "Do you even realize what you've just done to me?"

He finally looks at you and your heart drops further down your belly. Fire splashes around in his eyes, akin to yours. He straightens his posture, turning his body to face you. Feet spread apart, he crosses his arms across his chest. Veins prominent, muscles like strings oscillating on his forearm as he taps his fingers on his elbow.

Your weakness.

Fuck.

Your breath hitches in your throat.

"And what's this?" He points to what you stole from him. He doesn't take it from you.

You suddenly remember your plan. Being so absorbed in his masculine energy, you forgot everything. Even your own name. 

"Well, I had this idea," you start.

He hums in interest. Butterflies break havoc in your stomach.

"And what idea was that?" He cocks his head to the side, studying you.

You started, but you don't think you can finish. Not when you're so wet that you can feel your slick trickle out of the confines of your thin panties. Not when his stance makes you feel like you did something very bad and the next word that comes out of your mouth decides your punishment. Not when it thrills you this much.

Swallowing dryly, you avert your gaze. Do you say it or do you play dumb? Sweat prickles at the back of your neck, eyes falling to his crotch. Those cursed fucking jeans do a poor job of hiding his growing member and you tremble, itching to sink onto the hardwood floor, itching to palm him through the harsh fabric just to hear him hiss through his teeth. The impulse to do it, to simply be a brat and do what you want while he stares you down, fills your every vein, but you know better. Once you hit a nerve, Jeongguk doesn’t let you cum (at all) and you can’t sit on your bottom for a week. You can’t afford that right now.

You close your eyes and take a deep breath. You need your relief, and you need it desperately. You will behave if it means you’ll receive it from him.

"I was thinking," you mutter, fluttering your eyelashes open. “You could put this on while I make you feel good."

Nodding once, Jeongguk hums again. You feel the deep vibrations of his voice coursing down your body, starting from your cheeks. They warm them and paint them in pink, then they continue over the swell of your chest, leaving behind little pearls of sweat, until they reach your cunt. There they strengthen the pulse of your needy bud and you can’t take it anymore. You sigh audibly, hoping it prompts your boyfriend to do something. 

“Make me feel good how?” he questions you.

You look up at him. His eyes are lowered into slits, woozy from arousal. You truly did turn him on with the mere evidence of your self-indulgence. You buzz from this achievement, a puckish smirk appearing on your mouth. 

Jeongguk pries the mask away from your hold, keeps it in his grasp and with his other hand, he unravels the knot of your robe with his fingers, sliding it off your shoulders. He cocks his eyebrow at you, waiting for your answer.

Fuck it, you’re giving it your all. Anything to get fucked in the way you want, in the way you know he can give it to you.

“I get on my knees for you. Play with your tip, take you as far as I can until I choke on it, then I suck on your—“

He grabs your chin harshly and raises it to his level. That’s enough, he said with that gesture and you leak down your thighs. No matter how strongly the words, ‘can I finish my fucking sentence’ hangs off the top of your tongue, you remain quiet. Obedient.

He cups your pussy through your pajama pants with his other hand, inching closer to you until his figure swallows you. His soft moan reaches your ear once he discovers how slippery your pussy is against your silky underwear and your stomach flips. You, on the other hand, don’t feel much where you need him due to the thickness of the material. It adds to your frustration quite plenty, though. This what you get for being good? 

Inhaling deeply, he levels his eyesight with yours. “How many times did you come, hm?”

Your breath hitches and you lower your eyes, shyness caused from his dominance taking every bit of confidence you had left. His words blaze your insides—he knows you so well. He knows how obsessed you’ve become with playing with yourself ever since he told you to practice. Sometimes you win, sometimes you lose. The latter being more frequent, hence why you exerted yourself today. He knows this. For some reason it makes this moment even more intimate and stimulating for you. But you don’t let him know that. 

“What makes you think I lost this time?” you retort, the brattiness slipping through before you could control it.

His fingers aren’t doing nearly enough to give you the relief you seek and you whine, grinding your hips against his curious fingers. Much to your dismay, he still keeps his pressure light. Pretends to be blind to your desperation. You let out a huff of air, hooking your thumbs beneath the waistband of your pants, anger fueling you on.

You barely manage to pull it down before Jeongguk turns you around. He locks your arms in his grasp from behind, tugs the pants beneath the swell of your ass and smacks your cheek, leaving a rippling effect in its wake. He then grabs your face from behind to make you look at him. 

“Did I fucking ask you to take ‘em off?”

You’d come on the spot if you could. But you’re still angry.

“No, I asked you a simple question,” Jeongguk continues. “And I expect you to answer.”

You bite your lip and furrow your eyebrows. “Jeongguk, I’m so wet there’s a fucking puddle in my panties. I can’t take it anymore. Please, I need to come.”

Jeongguk raises his at your answer and hums lowly, grinding his hips into your ass and arching your back even further in this position. You moan distinctly at the feeling of his member, engorged and hard. 

Jeongguk lets go of your arms and presses you against him fully, lowering his hand to wrap his fingers around your throat, the other around your middle. You love it like this the most, cocooned in his embrace from behind—you can’t see him, but you can feel him, you can feel the firmness of his touch, the solidness of his body, and you know he’s there. 

“How many times?” he asks once again, more gently this time, lips tracing the shape of your ear. He rubs your belly to soothe you and you close your eyes, teeth sinking into your bottom lip. A smile, a mischievous one, much like the one your best friend Pinkie had, threatens to appear on your lips. He has turned into a soft dom for you and it makes you weak. So much that all you want to do right now is give him pleasure.

You begin to rotate your hips against him and he hisses, cursing under his breath. Yes, that’s precisely what you wanted to hear. You put more pressure into your movement and he slides your hand down your mound to stop you, his tongue coming to play with your ear.  Fuck, okay. You listen, transferring your teasing elsewhere.

“Zero,” you finally answer, figuring he deserves the reward.

Jeongguk grabs your shoulders and turns you around, pinching his eyebrows together. “Don’t believe you. There’s no fucking way you’d leave it wet like that without coming at least three—“

“I was about to come before you so rudely interrupted me.”

His eyes darken and you realize you fucked up.

He takes his hands off of you and starts walking, causing you to walk backwards to your couch. 

“My apologies.�� He pushes you to sit down on the soiled spot, taking a seat right in front of you on the coffee table. “Don’t let me interrupt you any further. Please“—He hooks his fingers under your pajama pants along with your underwear and takes it off in one go—“continue. Make yourself come.”

You gulp. Fuck, if that isn’t the hottest thing you ever heard.

He scoots closer to you on the coffee table and extends your legs over his. You ogle him. The manspread, the tent in his pants, the serious look on his face. You slip your hand to your clit and start rubbing, your eyes closing as pleasure floods you. Finally. You moan, and you moan loudly. 

“Nuh-uh.”

You sigh before you open your eyes. There he goes, interrupting you again. A familiar buzzing fills your ears. 

You startle as the highest setting tickles your hand in an uncomfortable way. Jeongguk, wearing the mask now, wraps your hand around the vibrator and guides it to your clit, interlacing his fingers with yours in the process. Fuck, he did not just do that. You’re moaning before it even reaches you, your walls clenching around nothing.

“There you go,” he lifts his intense gaze from your pussy to your eyes. “Now come.”

And you do.

You squirt all over your intertwined hands, squirming uncontrollably while holding eye contact with him until he controls you, sliding his other free hand to your waist to hold you down. He moves the vibrator to your slit to give your puffy clit a break, collecting your juices. Then, another wave comes: Jeongguk slips the head back to your clit and presses down hard before quickly fixing a steady rhythm of going up and down. You’re just holding it, holding his hand. Taking the pleasure he gives you. Convulsing, clenching and screaming, coming so hard your eyes roll back—stars finally coming to stay.

Then, you’re pushing him away when overstimulation perfuses your body with a blunt pain. You close your legs. You thrash with yourself. But he’s stronger. The hand that was on your waist lifts up your bralette and uncovers your tits. The same fingers plunge into your mouth and you suck on them, calming down, earning an appreciative hum from him. He flicks your nipple, touches your breast, the nub deliciously rubbing against his rough palm. Pushes your other one to the mix so he can focus on both of your nipples at once, holds them like that as they bounce in his grip. You lift your pelvis, furiously riding the wave of an upcoming orgasm that will probably take you out.

You lose the sense of time and space when you come for the third time.

You’re gushing, leaking, bursting, both hands—yours and his—dripping wet with your dewiness. You think you’re levitating, but his firm touch grounds you, and when you open your eyes, Jeongguk is breathing hard. He’s watching you thoroughly; you can’t tell what he’s thinking, features still hidden by that mask. Your mind is empty, incapable of forming one coherent thought. You’re completely brainless. Fucked out.

Jeongguk gets on his knees and leans towards you. He tears his mask off, sweat pooling at his hairline.

“How pitiful,” he smiles. “So much for practicing.”

He gives you a filthy kiss full of tongue and you roll your body against his. His chest rubs against your nipples and it sends sparks of electricity through you. 

“You wouldn’t last. Not a chance.”

You groan into his mouth. He’s so close that his musky scent is intoxicating you, his T-shirt is wet and your core is pressed against the one part of his stomach that the cloth exposed. It’s so warm and soul-stirring to you. You whine from the overstimulation of it all, especially the degradation. 

“Jeongguk, I came so hard,” you tell him, coming up for some air.

He kisses your jaw. “I know. So fucking hot.” Takes his groans and presses them in the form of kisses into all the sensitive spots of your neck. “You made yourself come this hard, I’m proud.”

You moan. So moonstruck. So enamored. So satisfied.

Jeongguk lifts his head from the crook of your neck and grins at you. You reciprocate.

“That was so good,” you whisper and bite your lip, stroking his hair back. You find you’ve broken the skin already, but you don’t mind. “So, so good.”

His eyes drop to your mouth, then at the pearls of your pleasure on your chest.

“So filthy. Need to clean you up.”

Your stomach flips. 

He laps them up, collecting them with his tongue. One at the top of your sternum, the middle of your breasts, the long dip on your stomach. Pearl after pearl, butterfly after butterly breaking havoc again in you. You’re swaying your hips before he even gets to your mound.

“Needy again? I haven’t finished here yet.”

A little, but not as desperately as before. You’re enjoying it. Feels as though you’re allowed to. And you tell him.

He smiles. Starts a series of open-mouthed kisses on your inner thigh. Sighs against your skin when you play with his hair, gently scratch his scalp with your manicured nails. Rubs your wet thighs, sucking the skin and biting it. Hard and soft, the blend of it. You’re on cloud nine.

“Gonna reward you,” he announces. You suck in your stomach, biting your lip. He touches your cunt and the digits just glide. Straight to your hole that needs his cum. “For doing such a good job. Fuck, you’re so wet.”

He rubs it in circles, teasing you. Watches your reaction. You throw your head back, moving your hips in tandem with the pads of his fingers. Soaked enough, he slips them into your mouth so you can taste yourself. You mewl. Sense his hot breath on your pussy. Sense him shifting in his spot erratically and you figure he’s grinding his hard cock against the couch. 

“My turn now.” 

He closes his puffy lips around your clit. Swirls the tip of his tongue around it. Merry go round, you throw your head back, enjoying the sensation. Then he puts pressure around the muscle and goes counterclockwise. Now you’re spinning, unable to stop the sounds, inter-threaded with his name, from slipping out of your mouth. Then he decides to tease you. Widens his laps of circles. Reaches your folds, makes them wetter. And it makes you feral, the waiting for the pleasure. You grip his hair, grinding into his face. His moans reach your ears again, and suddenly it’s too much. He sucks on your clit, and he sucks hard. Lifts your hips in the air and just ravages your cunt, licking up and swallowing all that you’re offering to him as he fucks his cock into the couch. 

He’s grunting, rapidly shaking his head from side to side. You’re obscenely loud. His thrusts quicken as do the skilled flicks of his tongue. It’s way too fucking much and you’re screaming, but you let him. You let him until he rams his hips for the last time, until he sucks so hard that your hearing sense leaves you for a moment, and you’re coming. And so is he. 

You don’t even know how long it takes before you fully come down, but you know one thing for sure. That when he stands up and you’re blessed with the sight of his unbuttoned jeans, his cock dripping with last drops of cum through his white (almost see-through) underwear, he deserves to be cleaned up by you just the same. 

You make grabby hands at him when he returns with wet wipes.

“What is it, baby?” He sinks to his knees in front of you, taking out the wipe to clean you properly. 

“Need you in my mouth. Please.” 

He laughs softly and you think that sound will be your demise. 

“You’re exhausted,” he tells you, wiping down your folds. “What you need is sleep.” 

You don’t have the strength to prove him wrong. You’re spent. 

He picks you up in his arms and takes you to your bed. He covers you in your fluffy blanket, knowing full well you hate to be under the duvet when you’re just napping. Tucks you in. Sits beside you. Brushes your hair back. Fixes the blanket so it rests under your chin, and not over your mouth. You watch him with droopy eyes as he does it all.

“Did so well today,” he murmurs. “But no overworking yourself so much next time, arasseo?”

You nod. “We came together again.” 

He traces the dimple on your cheek caused by your contended smile. Finds himself smiling too. “That’s just how our bodies work together,” he tells you, hovering his thumb over your bloodied lip so as to not hurt you. “Can’t be helped.” 

You nod again, warmth swarming in your chest. “I love it,” you admit. “I love you.”

Jeongguk presses a kiss into your hair. “No, I love you.”

“No.”

He shushes you. “Sleep well, baby,” he strokes you. Kisses you. Pets you. Can’t get enough. Hates to leave you. “My baby, my love, my girl.” 

You hum. Sleep slinks you away to its land, smile remaining on your mouth. 

Jeongguk returns to your living room and gets some cleaning supplies ready. Breaks a sweat making your dark green couch spotless. Takes a shower. Settles beside you on the bed. Cocoons you in his arms. Looks for you in dreamland.

© 2023 hoseoksluna, all rights reserved.

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[lesamis]

1810s dashboard but it's niche drama

💛 heartofanna Following

imagine cancelling someone for saying war is bad

🧵 sharethewoe Follow

#didn't expect better from w*rdsworth but some people i rly thought i could count on…… #anyway we will live to see this empire fall. can't stop history lol (via @heartofanna)

speaking as someone who was press ganged at the age of 17 to serve in his majesty's royal navy i couldn't be more grateful for your poem. young men like me are cannon fodder and you spoke for so many of us. fuck napoleon but fuck parliament even more.

86 notes

chatterpwned-deactivated78345629743

stable forgiving virtuous flourishing in my lane definitely not buying poison moisturized unbothered never been better

chatterpwned-deactivated78345629743

me when i lie

179302 notes

🏛 mynoseisfine Follow

Settling this once and for all. What does the public actually think about the Parthenon marbles debate:

🦉 realminerva Follow

lol i know it’s you lord elgin

🦉 realminerva Follow

like we joke and all but fully aside from the fact that removing the sculptures from greek soil was vulturine and opportunistic etc, it’s really just the tip of a frankly gigantic mountain of imperialist bullshit. let’s not pretend we haven’t been brutally killing hundreds who resisted oppression in india, LITERALLY BOMBED A NEUTRAL EUROPEAN CAPITAL, and embarrassed ourselves in the charge against napoleon for years now. pathetic ass empire & evil as hell to boot. @mynoseisfine the greeks who carved your marbles millennia ago would kick your tory ass so hard

3661 notes

🎀 emmawoodhousestan Follow

how do i still keep seeing thomas chatterton's final post being reblogged, wtf is wrong with you freaks??? he was seventeen it was tragic and horrible and happened ages ago. he was a kid just let him rest

294 notes

🍎 masque-off Following

callout post for @castleyeah @lordsidmouth @officialcoe @parliamentofficial: they oppress, murder and famish the british working people & also suck majorly

⛪ castleyeah Follow

sour cuz you’re unfit to have custody of your own kids huh

🍎 masque-off Following

proud to be the dad of a newborn who could already rend your pudding spine asunder with a mere glance

187 notes

🦆 mallardturner Following

finished this today 😊

44 notes

😎 chadeharold Follow

why is it always “you’re risking your life and legacy & will get yourself killed before the age of five and twenty” and never how was swimming the hellespont the hellespont looked fun was it fun

🎭 loved-joanna Mutuals

ohhh my god you swam the hellespont five years ago?? wooow should we tell everyone?? should we throw a party?? should we invite famous hero of greek myth leander who swam the hellespont

😎 chadeharold Follow

@loved-joanna look we never had any beef & don’t have to start this now. it’s cool that you’re sticking up for my ex, you guys were friends first, but just know that i’ve always trusted your opinion on my work & genuinely respect and admire you & would still be up for a collab whenever.

🎭 loved-joanna Mutuals

yea sure why don’t your lips collab with my ass

😎 chadeharold Follow

on it boss

1009 notes

#literally call me. down if you are

🍂 endymion Follow

sorry is it me or is the assassin who stabbed german bootleg wordsworth kinda…… 🥵

💄 biprincesscharlotte Mutuals

JOHN KEATS????????

2427 notes

#i'm p sure this is the author of lamia thirstposting on main??? help

🌾 huntsmanx Follow

romanticism this romanticism that why don’t you romanticise universal suffrage and rights for labouring people

🌾 huntsmanx Follow

anyone else in jail for seditious libel

🏹 axelaidtotheroot Mutuals

lmao i'm one of the “anyone else”s and i know you’re enjoying family visits and apparently some kind of cushy armchair situation, plus tons of books. try being in here as a spencean dude they won’t even let me learn how to write. worst of all some evangelical came by yesterday just to proselytize & put me “on the right path” fml

8341 notes

🗻 mounttambora Follow

y'all i don't feel so good :/

59 notes

[jinnie-ret]

silent cry

seo changbin x female!reader

genre: descriptive angst that turns into sickeningly sweet fluff at the end

content warnings: depressive tendencies implied, dependency

word count: 1.2k

summary: she hid her thoughts and struggles to not burden her boyfriend, but he catches her in tears

requested: 🕷️anon

this may have veered off slightly off of what the original request was but I hope you still enjoy! I loved writing this one, feel rly proud of it :)

1K FOLLOWERS PLAYLIST 💚🖤

MAIN MASTERLIST

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It was a hard thing to navigate sometimes, emotions. Often she felt as if something was wrong with her. Why couldn't she embrace and confront those sadder, darker feelings, when the love of her life was someone who championed every little thing she did?

Changbin was smart, intuitive, and incredibly aware of how those around him felt. His empathy, pureness and generosity was something many couldn't comprehend, so it was no surprise he had many idol friends. The level of extraordinary observation he carried only increased tenfold when he was with her.

But being without him, it was a different story. To be without him, cast a darkness over the sun that was coming out of hiding, and bringing warmth to her days. To be without him, was to snuggle up into bed, alone, and wrap herself tightly in crumpled blankets to try and imagine his arms encompassing her safely as she entered a dreamlike state. To be without him, was a nightmare that rattled her bones as cries wracked through her body in the early hours of the morning.

To be without him, was to live a life where she couldn't be.

Some may say it's dramatic. How could someone solely depend on another so much that they felt as if they had lost a part of them when they were not together? The answer wasn't simple. Anyone could have their own interpretation of the situation, but what really mattered was the way that their souls had intertwined and formed a love so strong and unbreakable.

That love would stretch a lot of the time. The distance that existed when she was apart from Changbin taunted her, tugging her heart towards where it belonged. Yes, maybe her heart didn't belong in a Stray Kids fanmeeting, or a tour around the world, but it was meant to be with him. Changbin knew it too. He just didn't know the extent of how bad things were getting because his partner had mastered the skill of presenting a facade through texts, video calls... you name it.

There were other things going on in her life, there always were, and he had helped her understand what was happening and how she could healthily support herself. She was struggling to wrap her brain around everything however, when she didn't have her lifeline next to her. Instead, she was holed up in their shared bedroom, aimlessly scrolling through her phone in attempt to divert and distract her mind. So much so, that when Changbin had arrived home early to surprise her, she didn't really believe it.

Perhaps it was a fever dream?

"Hey honey," Changbin cooed gently as he entered the dark room, weakly lit by the brightness of her phone and the dying bulb of the salt lamp they had. Damn, he needed to replace that soon. There were other things he needed to worry over first though.

She didn't respond. Her spiraling that had occured with his absence was clear to see. Curtains and blinds shut. Dirty dishes. Clothes strewn across the floor where, hey, at least she had been able to change into something different.

"Jagi?" Changbin whispered lightly, now crouched down next to her by the bed as he knelt on the floor, not quite touching her yet as he didn't want to overwhelm her. He was good like that, knowing exactly how she worked.

Again, no response. In truth, she felt that tug on her heart and knew he was there, but something within her, like a subconscious turning of cogs, fueled a robotic motion of continuing to fixate onto her phone.

"I'm here now," Changbin whispered, thick fingers delicately smoothing across her knee as he waited patiently for her to be ready.

And just like that, her phone was now beside her as she gazed ahead of her, no eye contact made yet but the twitches of her thumbs without nothing to hold, and the way her lips pursed together to stop anything from escaping her gave away some telltale signs to Changbin that she really had been going through it.

"That's it, I'm here," Changbin's deep, husky voice unleashed the floodgates as tears streamed down her face, chest stuttering with it's normal rhythm as she refused to let any sobs echo between the walls. His hands connected with hers, squeezing gently.

"I hate how much I miss you," she attempted to whisper, but with the lump in her throat rising the turmoil she had been facing revealed itself.

"Oh honey," Changbin felt himself tearing up but he calmed himself in order to remain stable for her. That's just what he was. A reliable pillar for her weight to rest against as he pulled her against him, joining her in bed and cradling her tenderly.

"I don't know why-" she cried, hands resting at his lower back and she desperately clutched onto him, squeezing the soft fabric of his black hoodie to tell herself he was here. She was safe. She was ok. And with him, all of the stress would alleviate and float away. With him, the fogginess that clouded her judgement would leave. With him, her silent cries that were cruelly locked away, could be unleashed and heard.

"I've got you, it's ok, I'm with you, and I'm here now, ok?" Changbin's lips pressed a kiss into her hairline, as he relished this moment of having her with him too.

"I wish I wasn't like this. I just... I need you. Always. Some days it's just harder," she sniffled, bravely shifting into his arms to climb over the walls she had built around her and finally stare into his eyes. The very ones that made her putty.

"Those days will get better. When you let go, when you can let everything out, it feels better, right?" Changbin rested his head against her, searching, scanning for anything she'd try to hide. He found comfort that there were no signs of caged thoughts being left unsaid.

"It does. You're right. You always are," she nodded ever so slightly, as not to break this close intimacy she was receiving, what she had craved for these past two weeks.

"Mm, aren't you lucky?" Changbin smirked but without any trace of joking or performative arrogance.

"I am, I'm so lucky. Sometimes it doesn't feel real that you're here with me, because I can't even comprehend that, like... That I'm with you," she said with utmost sincerity lacing her words.

"Aigoo, this is why I like to hear what's on your mind. My honey is so good with her words," Changbin chuckled, nuzzling his nose against hers, smiling brightly when he heard a giggle that came straight after his.

"I'm not," she protested, looking down.

"No, don't do that, I need your pretty eyes in my sights," he tilted her head up.

"Gonna cost you," she joked. There it was, the warmth was back. The light was back, despite the cave like lighting in the room. He could so easily bring out that side of her, and help her to forget about her struggles and simply exist around him, being her true authentic self. He helped her to be.

"Yah! I shouldn't have to pay!"

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

tagged: @skz-streamer @kiraisastay @hannahhbahng @kpopmenace143 @sakufilms @kailee08 @arloo00 @dunno-wut-to-do @splat00z @cheesemonky @his-angell @turtledove824 @2minstan @royal-shinigami @yangbbokari @skzoologist @crabrangoongirl25 @atinyniki @writingforstraykids @minholing @lilmisssona @astraysimp @lixie-phoria

[nurse-floyd]

Grounded

Pairing: Daniel Ricciardo x reader

Anon Request: “hey there, i felt rly represented by your autistic!reader x daniel and was wondering if i’d be able to request something myself, if you’d be up for it? i get really overwhelmed easily, i get upset super easily too, it’s honestly embarrassing. i feel like daniel would be good at reassurance, and would cuddle to help out and keep me calm. do you think you’d be able to write anything like that?”

Warnings: mentions of autism/ panic attacks/ anxiety. This is my own interpretation and experience with autism/ being ND so it may vary from others. This story is fiction and meant to be enjoyed xoxo

You walked hand in hand through the paddock entrance with Daniel by your side. Media day was always hectic and overwhelming; the noise, the flashing lights, and the sheer volume of media and fans were overwhelming. You knew it would be busy, but the reality of it was just too much for you that day, your senses already wrecked from the lack of sleep due to all the traveling. The chaos sent anyone’s senses into overdrive. You tried to focus on Daniel’s presence, his hand gripping yours tightly, but with the sheer amount of noise and activity around you, it was difficult to concentrate.

You tried to stay calm, reminding yourself that you were there for Daniel, hoping that would be enough for you to push through the discomfort. But as the noise built and the crowd closed in, it became harder to focus. The world felt smaller, your heart rate quickened, and your breathing became shallow as the anxiety threatened to overwhelm you completely. You hated feeling like this, hated not feeling normal, and hated feeling like you were drawing attention to yourself.

Daniel had always been understanding; he was patient and kind and always knew when things were becoming too much for you, sometimes even before you did. As the media frenzy closed in, you felt the familiar signs of overload creeping in.

Daniel noticed immediately. His grip tightened around your hand as he gave it a reassuring squeeze. He leaned in closer to your body, his voice low in your ear. “You doing okay?” he asked, concern evident in his tone.

You shook your head, unable to voice your needs with the world feeling like it was closing in around you. The flashes from the cameras felt like they were burning your eyes, and you instinctively pulled your jacket over your eyes to block out some of the world. The anxiety was too strong, and the words got caught in your throat. But Daniel understood without you having to say anything. His arms moved around your shoulders as he guided you quickly towards a quieter corner of the paddock, waving and thanking the media as he led you away.

He found a relatively calm area near the team’s garage, away from the worst of the noise and chaos. He sat you down and knelt at your level, his expression full of nothing but concern. “Can I touch you?” he asked. You nodded, and you felt his hand gently cup your face. "Just breathe," he said gently, his hands resting on your shoulders, grounding you. "In and out, nice and slow. Just focus on me.”

You met his soft brown eyes, focusing on his voice as you followed his instructions and took in a deep, shaky breath, mirroring his. The world started to blur into the background as you concentrated on your breathing and the reassuring weight of his hands.

"It's alright, take your time," he continued, his eyes never leaving yours. There was no judgment in his gaze, only understanding and patience. "I'm here with you. Just focus on me. You’re doing so good, sweetheart,” he said, his voice full of warmth and pride. “I’m so proud of you.”

His words of comfort brought a lump to your throat, a tear threatening to spill over. You hated feeling like this, hated the overwhelm and embarrassment that came after, but Daniel’s support and understanding helped you feel less alone. He didn’t see you as a burden or annoying; he accepted you for you.

Gradually, the tightness in your chest started to ease, and the sensory overload subsided a little. Daniel had always been so good at knowing exactly what you needed in those moments, never making you feel embarrassed or ashamed for being overwhelmed. He pulled you into a gentle hug, his arms wrapping around you securely. You relaxed into the embrace, feeling the anxiety melt away.

"Thank you," you whispered into his chest, your voice barely audible. It was hard to express just how much his support meant to you, but you hoped he could feel it in the way you held onto him.

He pulled back slightly, just enough to look into your eyes, his own filled with warmth. "You don't have to thank me," he replied with a gentle smile. "I'm always here for you, no matter what."

You stayed in his arms for a few moments longer, the feeling helping to ground and regulate you a little more.

"Ready to give this another go?" he asked.

You were unsure but nodded. With his support, you knew you were safe no matter what happened, and he would always be there to help you navigate it all.

[slytherinshua]

SCOUPS WITH AN OLDEST CHILD S/O

genre. comfort. headcanons. warnings. this is honestly so messy, not rly sure how well it flows or how good it is so sry abt that. mention of burnout, academic stress, self doubt, etc. pairing. scoups x reader. wc. 548. request. requested by 🌱 anon a/n. even though i'm the youngest i kind of relate to a lot of these especially academic ones :( to everyone who feels this way not just oldest children, know that you're all doing amazing and i'm so proud of you just for being you, you don't have to be perfect all the time, and your achievements don't reflect how valuable you are as a person

as the oldest in Seventeen himself, Seungcheol would probably be all too used to the stress and pressure of setting an example and living up to people’s expectation

especially since he’s also the leader and has to represent Seventeen to the public, he deals with his own share of pressure

he hates that you have to feel that way too, but he would be the best person you could ever ask for to help with it

he knows that some days you just need extra kisses and cuddles and encouragement

he knows that even just him saying that he’s proud of you is enough

he doesn’t need to be over the top, he just needs to be there for you

he’ll especially try to do extra small things for you

“grades don’t define your self worth”

he’s repeated that so many times to you that now it’s constantly circling in your head

and it’s been so helpful for you to give yourself a little bit of grace

of course it doesn’t always work— some days are just shit and it feels like everyone in the world is disappointed in you and that no matter how hard you try, it’ll never be enough for them

sometimes it even feels like Seungcheol himself is also disappointed in you

when you tell him, he washes the thought away so quickly, it’s almost as if it was never there to begin with

he’s always proud of you, no matter how much you do in a day

instead of looking at your achievements— your grades and projects and work— he looks at your every day life

he’s proud of you when you wake up in the morning and shower

he’s proud when you eat 3 meals a day and actually get dressed enough to feel pretty

he’s proud when you do the things he knows are so hard but so necessary

Seungcheol is always so observant as well

he can tell immediately when you get uncomfortable around your family or friends

he knows when you feel like they’re judging you

and he’ll make up an excuse to take you home every time

even just an reassuring smile from across the room from him can allow you to breathe and relax

when it comes to studying when you absolutely cannot take breaks even if you want to, Seungcheol will make sure to be right by your side as much as he can

one thing he’s best at is being able to make you laugh even when you’re stressed

sometimes Seungcheol doesn’t think that he does that much to help

he’s sure that he could do so much more and he would in an instant if you needed it

but he already does so much more than any other person you’ve ever had in your life

the smiles, the laughter, the encouragement, the closeness, the comfort, the stability

he’s relentless at times when it comes to you taking care of yourself (depriving you of kisses is his best method for making you take care of yourself) but it’s exactly what you need and you couldn’t be more thankful to him for it

Seungcheol slowly but surely did everything that no one else had been able to do in the past: he made everything feel okay

↳ svt taglist: @kangtaehyunzzz,, @eternalgyu,, @ddeonudepressions,, @hannahsophie0103,, @minholing,, @shuabby1994,, @icyminghao,, @98-0603,, @weird-bookworm,, @candewlsy,, @wonwooz1,, @cyberpunksunwoo,, @haecien,, @amara-mars

[3v3ry0n3z-fav3-al13n-x3]

(not using my tq cuz this is gonna be pretty long)

GUESS WHO FINALLY GRADUATED!! \(>O<)/

After 10 years of torture I finally did it. I'm so proud of mahself :33 yesterday was our graduation party and it wa actually SO FUN AND RAD!!!!

^ mah graduation fit btw >:33 I made lots of selfies and photos/vids of the party, tho I'm not gonna show them here for other people's privacy

I honestly still can't believe it's over. I STILL CAN'T BELIEVE ITTT /vpos

Anyway now onto another good news: I haven't talked about here on mah blog b4, but a while ago I applied 4 an art school 2 go there after summer holidays, and after some time I got a letter back SAYING MY FIRST DAY THERE IS GONNA BE ON LATE AUGUST ヽ(≧∀≦)ﾉ I GOT ACCEPTED THERE!!!!!!! I can't waitttt 2 go there, I always dreamed of going 2 an art school (I just hope everything there will go better than in my previous schools..)

da art school is a bit far from my house, and I don't rly want 2 take the train and sit there for an hour every morning 2 get there, so I'll be moving into a youth dormitory right next 2 da art school! Dis is gonna be my first time of living without my parents, I'm excited but also nervous.. ;-; but I still have high hopes 4 both the school and dormitory ^_^ I actually gots to get 2 know mah future roommate and he's so kewl!! He's also a student of the art skool, he's trans & queer jus like me and we generally have lots of the same interests and hobbies, can't wait 2 live with him!

Anyway, I just wanted 2 thank everyone who helped me go through these tough school times, dat includes my mother and step-father, my irl friends, my online friends, my Tumblr followers and even just strangers online who decided to help check up on me after seeing my concerning posts. Without y'all I probably wouldn't be here right now, and I wouldn't be able to pursue my dreams of going 2 an art skool

I love y'all so much <333

[spideysbruh]

be with me

liked by tchalamet, sarahhyland, ayoedebiri and 1,817,778 others

y/n it ain't a fun day at work if im not covered in blood !!!!

view all 97,766 comments

screamyn so excited that she's gonna be in another movie with timothee !! we were all begging for itttt

tchalamet how do you still look so beautiful 😍

liked by y/n

laurieslaurence HIS COMMENTTTT 🥺🥺

liked by y/n, tomholland2013 and 3,276,626 others

tchalamet Je suis amoureux

view all 123,717 comments

lauriexamy PARENTSSSS

y/n 🥺🥺🥺 I love you

tchalamet liked

paulsarrakis I'll translate- 'I am in love'

scrubscrubtimmy CRYINGGG AWWWW

illiteratewonka I need a girlfriend before I kms

@yn tweeted- HAVE YOU GOT A SWEET TOOTH ?!!!??? 🗣🗣🗣

@ynsgirlfriend replied- LMAOOO is that your fave wonka song 🤔

@yn replied to @ynsgirlfriend- it is soo good and catchy but I think i would be deemed a bad girlfriend if i said one without timmy... so no! 'for a moment' is my fave!!!!

@realchalamet liked

@realchalamet replied- good choice, baby 😊😊🩷🩷🫶🫶🫶

@wonkastim replied to @realchalamet- HELPPP LMAOOO

liked by tchalamet, rachelzegler and 2,627,727 others

y/n handsy man !!!

view all 121,817 comments

tchalamet can you blame me 🙄

y/n liked

wonkaswhore BROOOOOOO I GASPED OMG

ynsflorals im loving her happy and in love era

addisonraee y/nnnn I love you

y/n liked

y/n I played your ep for timmy, he's been singing IVE GOT NOTHING ON BUT THE RADIO for days help

tchalamet okay let's not stretch the truth here ... it's been one and a half days

liked by y/n, zendaya, francesa.scorsese and 4,186,266 others

tchalamet be with me. out june 7th!!!!!!! made another movie with the love of my life. im really proud of this one.

view all 121,187 comments

y/n and I'll watch.

liked by tchalamet

saysoyn girl you're literally in it too !!

littletimmy the laurie reference 😭😭 I bet she says it all the time to him.

floralyn IT LOOKS SO FUCKING GOODDDD

timmylaurie I CANT WAITTTT

timotheepaul it seems so romantic omg

rachelzegler ILL BE SEATED DAY ONEEE AHHH

liked by tchalamet, rachelzegler and 1,976,817 others

y/n June 7th!!! our second film together, we fell in love during the first one, what will this one bring?

view all 99,817 comments

giddyyn can't wait for the press tour omg

motivatedyn YESSS IVE BEEN WAITING SINCE YALL WERE ANNOUNCED AS THE LEADS

fluorescentyns I wonder if they got cast BECAUSE they're together 🤔🤔

tchalamet why did you get better pics to post than I did 😔

y/n liked

y/n I like your pics 🫶

blankspaceyn marriage ???🤔🤔🤔

tsgf or a breakup 😁

ynslipgloss okay you're weird.

y/n just posted a story!

caption- June 7th 🤭🤭

@popcrave just tweeted- some newly released behind the scenes photos of @y/n and @realchalamet on the set of their upcoming film 'Be With Me'

@hometoyn replied- in the video it seems like they rly had a lot of fun together 😭🫶🫶🫶🫶

@honeymoonyn replied- THEY ARE SO DAMN CUTE OH MY GODDDD

@ynxtimmy replied-

@y/n just tweeted- COUPLES QUIZ WITH GQ OUT NOWWWW 🫶🫶🫶

@ynscurtains replied- yall are so cute oh my worddd

@goldenyn replied- the way timothee looks at you 🥺🥺

@leextimothee replied- y/n is so goofy she's perfect for timmy fr

@modernyn replied- i love how both of their personalities rubbed off on each other 🫶

@popcrave just tweeted- Timothée Chalamet and Y/n L/n seen getting close while filling their car up with gas.

@ynsfluffysocks replied- they're so real. I would never stop kissing y/n either no matter what.

@medalliayn replied- "getting close" 💀💀😭😭

@fuxkyn replied- getting close or rounding third??

@celebgossi just tweeted- Y/n L/n and Timothee Chalamet at the 'Be With Me' premiere after party.

@sweettoothyn replied- im gonna just join someone else's relationship fr

@timmyxyn replied- ooo yk they're high asl 💀💀💀

@leemarenss replied- watching the movie tmrw I'm so excitedddd

@fuxkyn replied to @leemarenss- it's not that good tbh, timmy carries

@leemarenss replied to @fuxkyn- yeah... you have a weird one sided aggression towards y/n I ain't gonna trust your opinion 💀💀

@wonkastim replied to @fuxkyn- 100 percent on rotten tomatoes so far... letterboxd avg is so high, you're a hater fr !! he ain't gonna date you sweetie!!!

liked by y/n, florencepugh and 3,726,748 others

tchalamet making this movie with my favorite person ever was the best experience in the world. everybody worked incredibly hard on it and it's now out for you all to see. I hope you'll watch and enjoy.

view all 98,828 comments

y/n !!!!!!!

ynslipgloss IT WAS SO GOODDDDDD you guys are amazing

reguluschal yall are like a younger ryan gosling and eva mendes fr

florencepugh you guys absolutely smashed it!!! love you both🫶🫶🫶😍😍😍

tchalamet and y/n liked

y/n I LOVE YOU I MISS YOU FLO

liked by tchalamet, rachelzegler, sabrinacarpenter and 2,166,727 others

y/n Be With Me out nowwww !!! I hope you enjoy it as much as we loved making it.

view all 95,254 comments

tchalamet my girl is a movie star 🥺🫶🫶🫶

y/n liked

rachelzegler you are literally amazing. chills, I love you

y/n liked

ynstan JUST GOT OUT OF THE THEATRE WHY DID YALL DEVOURRRRR

*

[asherxz]

PLEASE DO SOLDIER X READER 🙏🙏🙏🙏

GENERAL SOLLY DATING HEADCANONS ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

FIRST REQUEST 💥

As its stated in my rules, if you dont specify gender or story form, i will assume its gn reader and HCs! Hope thats fine by you, anon! :)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

-LITERALLY acts like a stray dog. Barks at everybody, but shuts up when somebody shows him even the smallest bit of affection.

-Speaking of dog-like behaviors, I also believe he tends to follow you around like a lost dog.

-Very loud with the facts he has an S/O. Everybody knows that the two of you are dating, even if you don't want them to. I do think he would try and keep it a secret if you ask, but I can't promise it's a secret for long.

-Big on PDA! Loves hand holding and big hugs. Bone crushing hugs. Your back will let out a few cracks.

-If you're not American, he will refuse to believe so. Oh you're mexican? Not anymore. European? Nah, you just have a special accent. Oh, you speak another language other than English? Nah you weren't born with that language, you just learned it and is scaringly fluent with it.

-Speaking of speaking another language, he will make you translate what he says to that language. He could use hours with that. Be prepared.

-Will ask you at some point to get naked and covered in honey with him, its unavoidable. He will respect you if you say no, but he will be visibly disappointed. Don't worry though, he'll forget. If you accept though? Oooh boy, i hope you're ready for burn marks for when Soldier tries to rocket jump naked with you...

-Uses nicknames such as Cupcake, maggot and sometimes honey.

-I hope you're fine with raccoons, because you WILL have to help him care for his. Don't worry though! I'm sure none of them have rabies... I hope.

-Will take you out training with him, but lets you train in your own pace. Of course, if you ask him, he will help, he can just be a little rough with it sometimes.

-HE'S A SWEATY MAN. SWEATY, DIRTY AND STINKY, YOU CAN'T CONVINCE ME OTHERWISE.

-What i'm hinting at is; shower with him. Force him into that goddamn shower. Force him under that hot water and scrub him THOROUGHLY. He may resist at the start, but he'll eventually come to really enjoy it.

-He's not a big fan of having his helmet off, but that doesn't mean he never has it off. Just rarely. He does it much more often when you two are in private.

-He sleeps like a plank. He lays flat on his stomach, arms down by his side, and i hate to break it to you, but he snores. Loudly. Loud and proud cuz 'merica. Do cuddle into him though, he likes that.

-Overall, he would be a fine boyfriend! Maybe a little loud, rough and pushy at first, but after establishing some boundaries, you're all good to go!

I hope you enjoyed this anon! I rly wanted to write more, but i didn't want this to be too long... If you do want more, don't be afraid to ask for a part 2!

[hanasnx]

diff anon but what fandoms did you meet your close moots through? i don’t know if that counts as indy lore

that counts! more under the cut. i wanted to talk about all my mutuals

@its-clockwork-princess one of my best, oldest, and dearest friends. years and years of friendship, roleplay, fanfiction, writing. every time i see a duo on screen or in any media my first thought is always her and my second thought is always “us.” we went through a thousand different fandoms and i can’t remember our first but we definitely bonded heavily over fandoms like marvel, dc, and fnaf at the very early stages of our friendship. her dad was actually dating my mom for a long time, which gave us plenty of time together. literally cant even summarize everything we’ve gone through together, everything we’ve built, seriously been friends for a decade and i plan on staying that way for the rest of my life. i cant imagine my life without her, how bleak and colorless it would’ve been. i’m honored to know such a generous and kind person, and someone who helped shape me into who i am today. a love truly unconditional.

@ohgodmyeyes loved his takes on anakin, thought he was so real and so down to earth even though he could stand to be more egotistical considering how talented he is. i think about a certain post he made about anakin -> vader's dick literally once a day. i'm not even exaggerating at all when i say it was my roman empire. in just that small amount of time i was taught his quiet confidence, his exquisite way with words, and his unapologetic thought process. i maintain a distance from him because i'm playing the long game and from what i've seen on his personal posts i feel like he might be overwhelmed if i come on too strong, as i often do. but that doesn't stop me from grinning every time i see him in my notifs and i get to think, "this message was approved by ohgodmyeyes." very proudly.

@somuchfrstardust we talked in the comment section of anakin edits on tiktok i feel like and then i was like "hey wanna be friends" and we haven't talked in a while but that's totally cool, that's just how i am. i still consider them my friend i think they're a rly cool person.

@banakinbabygirl was one of the first anakin/hayden blogs i followed, i love how they write smut. it's a very emotional way of writing, very heavy on the descriptions and realistic reactions that drew me in and kept me there.

@starmanskywalker is one of my favorite writers in general. anything on her masterlist is an instant recommendation from me, instant like, instant reblog, instant indy review. i'm such a jealous person in general but the way i feel about alanis' writing is beyond jealousy. it's admiration, it's fondness, it's awe. i don’t feel envious i feel fulfilled. i was very proud to become her mutual, her friend, be on a first name basis with her, and write fanfiction with her. we have a collab we've been working on for a while but because we're both so busy and it's such a big project it takes a lot of time and a lot of love, but i'm still so excited for the day it's finished and can be published.

@xstarkillerx is so much more than a person i met on the internet. truly one of my best friends, and i can’t imagine not having him in my life. there’s so much i can say that i have actually already said on this blog before. donnie has a way with seeing the world i just love to hear about. i’ll ask his opinions and experiences on everything simply to hear what he, specifically, has to say about it. when we have conversations inhibitions are left at the door for the both of us instead of just me. i feel skinless, muscle-less, body-less with donnie. an entity obsessed with him on discord as we write novels to each other, sonnets about how we view the world and its fictions. donnie is my bread and butter, and i’m so glad i found him and stalked him and forced him to be my friend and now he’s reliant on me just like i want.

@weixuldo such a sweet person and very understanding of me and my boundaries. i first found wei’s blog through their fanart of darth vader which i loved so much i sent every single one of their posts to my best friend who i mentioned at the beginning of this post. i still go back to look at those works every so often to brush up on my love for them. such a talented artist i’m very happy i’m worthy of a follow back, and that we enjoy each other’s content.

@mcondance i met through hobie brown back in june 2022. i loved how they kept luring me to their page by mentioning me and my hobie works they kept reading, i swear they were using my vanity as bait and it worked. they are, genuinely, so fucking funny. i only have friends that are funny don’t get me wrong, but there’s something about jupie that when i’m talking about them to other people, that person is like “omg jupie is so funny.” like. jupie just transcends my sense of humor to other people’s. they’re funny to the masses. i’m very bad at texting, but jupie is a person i try to reach out to so they know i’m virtually loving on them. they like the attention. another writer i’m so pleased to be mutuals with when they’re so skilled at the part of writing i always feel like i’m most wooden at. the side of smut writing that takes feeling and sensation and even an edge of genuine horniness, jupie is so good at translating that onto a page.

@murdrdocs is another mutual i gained from the height of the hobie brown era and i believe i saw her content through jupie’s page. now we don’t get to talk too much but that doesn’t mean i don’t think she’s not a super cool person. i don’t read much, but the things i do get to read specifically on icarus’ page make me very proud to be her mutual. not only is she an accomplished and gorgeous writer, but her blog designs are always envy-inducing. she shifts her aesthetics so seamlessly—even tho i know how changing a theme can be draining and time-consuming—and it’s always easy on the eyes. her navigation is especially creative and i’ll never forget her newspaper clipping themed announcement for last kinktober.

@princessbrunette another writer i’m constantly in awe of. i met her through her anakin works, and invited myself onto her kinktober taglist when she was still a relatively new blog that’s how much i was instantly attracted to her work. her style is so distinct and so refined, i can overlook non canon work because hers is just that good. she’s also very funny, and has a gifted silver tongue. i’m always impressed with how she’s able to paint a picture in her pieces using nothing but the most concise and visualizing words. it’s not often that i watch something because a friend watched it, but i watched obx for her so i could still enjoy her work that’s how much i love it. our universes we create in our dms are so special to me.

@empiresheir was someone i met through their anakin one-shot about order 66 which i’ve reblogged several times and it’ll never be enough. it was such a good piece i gave live updates to my best friend who was reading it too. i sent those screenshots to her orc cos she deserved to know what i had to say. she was also an essential help when i was writing my kinktober project, kind enough to read my pieces and give me line by line feedback just like i like so i wouldn’t go crazy from lack of attention on pieces i couldn’t post til october. not only another talented and powerful writer (capable of dropping my jaw at how insanely good she is at wording things), but such a sweet person to talk to. and though she’s not active in the fandom anymore i think of her fondly and i hope she’s having such a good time with baldur’s gate.

@darthvvder had a collection of anakin drabbles that i found on wattpad of all places and i was amazed at what i read. thoroughly impressed by the physical reactions her works were eliciting in me. got me to care about smut tropes i hadn’t cared about before simply bcos she was so good at writing them. i posted about a line that gripped me and she commented that it was her, i followed and the rest is history.

@jarebare99 is my boyfriend :) he gets an honorary mention. i wrote him an entire book of poetry and my thoughts on him so he can read that if he’s feeling left out from everyone getting paragraphs. i met him in irl not through a fandom but idc.

@ddejavvu was someone i’d see in my notifications including my inbox every so often and she was very recognizable. i really can’t remember how us being mutuals happened? i’d like to say i somehow discovered she wrote and wrote well and once i began noticing i consistently liked her content then i followed and lo and behold she was following me too. mei is very respectful of my space and i like that she texts me without expecting an answer back bcos i like to read her updates and don’t always know what to say. i have some of her inbox messages i gatekeep and i go back and read them every so often and think about how diabolical it would be if i answered them and floored the world, but i have yet to be ready to share the genius.

@anakincentric technically through anakin. even though we don’t talk much bcos both of us have really similar no-contact ways that doesn’t mean i don’t think she’s real sweet. i like when she pops in, drops a banger, and then peaces out. like a disney cameo appearance.

@harrisonbrainrot i wanna say han/indiana. i feel like i was already following his blog because i got to read some of his stuff when i was in a han mood and was like, “yea, this guy gets it.” and then when we reconnected in the comments of someone else’s post, i told him i was a big fan which was true, and then wham bam thank you ma’am mutuals. i have no idea if he knew who i was before or if he was following me, but he’s cool asf. not only is he hot and chill, he’s also really kind with me about not texting. a very generous soul who let me use his crunchyroll to watch jjk out of the goodness of his heart, which i am kissing him for. one of the rare writer’s on here who’s unapologetic in the shit they say, which i always admire and prioritize in who i choose to follow. love his han characterization, so when he’s reblogged a han work of mine, i believe it’s been christened by the harrison ford pope.

@anitheus tagging this blog bcos it’s what i followed first but i also follow her other account @silxani because i love her art style. i love how she draws anakin every time. her spider-sam fanart, and her nsfw anakin works are my favorite, as well as the fanart she made of us for my birthday. gorgeous art style i could look at all day, and i like her personality when we text.

@ivysangel i wanna say it was dc comics but i can’t remember the character, might’ve been jason todd. she came for the dc, and stayed for the other stuff including my general tomfoolery. she flatters me with kind words about how i’ve influenced her, which always makes me soft. we have a lot in common, which is always so much fun to compare, and i love that she watched batman beyond when i recommended it even though i wasn’t expecting her to a) do it and b) love it. she’s aware and respectful of my boundaries when it comes to sharing my ideas which i appreciate, and i love seeing her in my inbox. we haven’t had enough time together for me to nail down everything i like about her, but i will.

@loveliestlovelygirl eloise caught me by surprise bcos it’s not often i get instantly hooked, or at least it hasn’t been that way for a while. i haven’t been in an anakin mood for a while, but i still reblog her works instantly so i can get to it later because i know i’ll like it even though i haven’t read it. idk much about her, but her theme makes me bonkers jealous. it’s so beautiful. like her chapter HTML for her fallen angel au makes me drool.

@psuedosis newest mutual. her reaction towards me made me instantly endeared, and i loved her jet works. some zuko pieces as well! hit at the right time bcos i just finished atla animated. very excited to get to know her more.

boom. indy lore and extensive thoughts on tumblr mutuals.

[onefourone]

GOOD (part 2) — previous part

simon 'ghost' riley x gn!reader

warnings: none

a/n: i'm rly not too happy with how this came out orz i'm so sorry! i will try to make up for it with a spicy addition soon 😖🙏🏽

You groan as you roll over in bed, a sadness rooting deep in your chest when you found the other side to be empty. You force your eyes open, immediately focusing on the slither of light peeking out of the bathroom. Now that you're more awake, you can faintly hear the sound of the shower running.

You couldn't help the smile that spreads across your face like a wildfire. He isn't even doing anything but showering and you're in bed, blushing like you haven't been with him for almost 5 years.

God, I love him.

You can feel the box staring at you from inside the drawer. Today. It has to be today. You were snapped out of your stupor when the door to the bathroom opened up, revealing your mountain of a man. You immediately noticed that he wasn't wearing his mask and didn't seem to be interested in putting it on. You didn't want to make it a big deal and put him on the spot, but you hoped he knew how much that level of trust meant to you.

"What's on your mind, love?"

The question doesn't surprise you. One of the things you love so much about him is his ability to see through like a window. It was as if your soul was on display for him at all times.

In lieu of responding verbally, you reach over into the drawer and retrieved the black box. Your heart hammered in your chest and your hands felt sweaty as you gripped the box tight. You were scared. So scared. Scared of being rejected. Scared of being alone. Scared of scaring him. Fuck, you wanted to run. You wanted to hide, save yourself the humiliation.

You chance a glance at his face, trying to gauge how he feels. The knowing look in his eyes makes it obvious that he knows where this is going. Your head feels like it's under water. You wait until he pulls on his underwear and sits on the edge of the bed next to you.

The gentle and patient look he gives you makes you want to start sobbing. Gods, he looks at you like you're the only thing in his life worth looking at. When he grabs your empty hand and brings it to his scarred lips for a kiss, you nearly break into pieces. You take a deep breath, blinking away pesky tears before you make eye contact. Now or never.

"Simon... We've been together for nearly 5 years now, and have been in love for even longer than that. You have stood by me when I was at my lowest and brought me up to my highest. You fill a space in my heart that no one else has ever been able to, and I suspect no one else ever will. You allowed me to see you at your most vulnerable... And that trust means more to me than you ever know."

You let out a breath that came out shakier than you wanted it to. His lips were tightened together, the way they do when he gets emotional. The fact that this was affecting him at all was a good start, you suppose. He stayed quiet, patiently waiting for you to finish.

"I guess what I wanted to say was... Simon Riley, would you marry me?"

You aren't proud of your voice cracking, but you ignored it in favor of opening the box and showing him the ring. Of all the reactions you were anticipating, laughter definitely wasn't one of them. It wasn't malicious laughter, but it still made you feel incredibly embarrassed. Before you could voice this to him, he stands up from the bed, which makes you panic even more.

"... Hold on, love. Nothing bad, I promise."

The words make you calm down slightly. You trust him not to make fun of you for something so serious, but you were incredibly curious about what he was doing. The sound of your heart beating feels so loud in your ears. You watch carefully as he walks over to his favorite leather jacket and reaches into the inside pocket, pulling out an identical black box.

Oh. Oh fuck.

Just like that, all the tension and anxiety flows out of your body like a deflated balloon. You both met each other's eyes once and fell into a fit of laughter and warm chuckles. A mischievous grin graced your lips as you positioned yourself to wrap your arms around his broad shoulders from behind.

"Well, my answer's yes. What about yours?"

He hummed, pretending to think about it and grinning when you playfully swat at him. He turned around so he could face you again, a soft smile on his lips that made your insides melt.

"I'm yours forever."

[dapper-lil-arts]

Do you have any top tier horse yuri fic recs?

Hmm, i got a couple, lemme think

This one is a very sweet slice of life EG Sunset x Scitwi one, its got a lovely interpretation of the characters; With the expected but very welcome pairing of cool punk girl and adorable nerd. and i plan on doing fanart of it! The writer knows her stuff nyeheh =v= This is the best "Rarity and Applejack get drunk together and mushy stuff happens" Fic i seen out there, a trope that is surprisingly recurring, ive seen others like this! But this one is the best, hands down. A mutual of mine wrote it and its just a wonderful time! This one is a super fun horror esque rarijack fic where rarity is haunted and applejack tries to help her. its got fantastic prose and its just damn lovely! I've done fanart of it before, its a sweet one, and its also just a really interesting direction to take Rarity's character that i'm almost sad to not see more of. Overpowered rarity whennnn Although i don't ship twilight and trixie, this fic of this pairing, that is still ongoing, is fucking hilarious. The comedy has wonderful timing, and the takes on the characters are endlessly entertaining

Stay tuned to this wonderful fic of Rarijack anthros (Inspired by the ones i designed, too!!) 'cause its gonna have a sex sequel that i've already gotten a sneak peek or two of, and i'm frotthing at the mouth about it. biting things even (i sketched the cover btw!)

This fic isn't rly horse yuri but its 1000 words of Sunset Shimmer being the utter insane badass i always wished she was; and I will continue writing her like so. I'm glad to see another writer also concidered the same

If you're like me, and think that sex is funny, this fic and it's two sequels are for you. Sunset Shimmer throws a party of deranged proportions that ends in debauchery and indulgence that nearly destroys the fabric of equestria; and it's consequences are hilarious. This is a rly cute short trans rarity fic, and it has a delightful amount of rarijack within. utterly adorbs. Almost sad to see it so short! Finaly, i'd be amiss to not recommend the fics i've written myself; Here are my two biggest and most awesomest i've done: The Return of Midnight Sparkle Is a take on MLP where there is no EG universe, and rather, Sunset Shimmer is brought to the mane 6 per twilight's request, and she absolutely does not feel like she belongs, and its a narrative about her desperate attempts of fitting in; and dealing with the fallout of her failings. I put an inordinate amount of effort on this one, even drawing covers for each chapter. I went DERRANGED with the idea of "what if sunset shimmer was on FIM and also it was gay as fuck." i basicaly wrote an entire season of the show and its finale. If you're a fan of Sunset Shimmer and Twilight Sparkle as a pairing, cannot recommend enough. Here's some of the art i made for it. Insanely sick chapter covers im super proud of The Princess and the Peasant is an all you can eat buffet for Rarijack enjoyers, I've taken the baseline of the story of "shrek 1" and i made it about Applejack and Rarity; And also expanded upon it and fixed some of the annoyances with the og story (No third act misunderstanding! On the contrary. Third act understanding. SEX.) The humble farmer Applejack has to rescue fair Princess Rarity from a dragon keep, and escort her across Equestria to ensure that her farm and family are safe. Of course, on the journey, those two grow a bit close... Too close. VEry very very veyr close. Here's a comic i've made of one of my fave scenes of it lmaooo Cannot express enough; If you're a fan of rarijack? This fic is EVERYTHING for you.

[wachtelspinat]

Hey ! I’ve been seeing your art going around since your midnight crew stuff and I just recently stubble across your tumblr, thank to your beautiful overwatch art for our beloveds junkers ! I’ve been scrolling through your account and read about your experience of being a former graphic designer who is a doctor now. And damn. I can’t emphasize how much I admire you, especially as someone who is struggling really hard to choose between 2 careers paths ( with one of them being art related ). This is why I was wondering if you would be open to talk about how and why you switched from art to medecine ? Especially because most of the time I feel it happens more the other way around ? ( If it’s too personal just ignore this ask + sorry if you already talked about it before )

hey ! no worries, i don't expect ppl to scroll through my tumblr to find an answer for a question they might have. first of all thanks for your nice words, means a lot <3

i switched from art to medicine because my early 20-something-self was even more anxiety-ridden than my present-self, and being in art school and having to "perform" regularly was a nightmare. i'm talking about a time in which i was so scared of being perceived that i often skipped grocery shopping, just so i could avoid being around people. so like, pitching art related projects to peers and profs was eeh... especially because art is so personal oh my god. i still hate it when someone tries to sneak a peek while i'm drawing, makes me wanna throw my sketchbook and myself off the bridge. anyways so i always felt a 110% inadequate (plus i got a gf during that time who was so good to me and tried to get me out of my funk on multiple occasions (she was and still is an artist and has now a career as a freelancer and i'm rly proud of her) but i couldn't see that because i just compared the two of us all the time and sabotaged any attempt she made for having fun with drawing with her) that i sat down at some point and asked myself if i could do this any longer, and i came to the conclusion that no, it really kills me rn.

what made me go into the health sector? i don't even know anymore, i think it was a mixture of "i loved biology, esp. the human body in school" and "my mum is an icu nurse and talks a lot about hospitals, maybe i should check it out"... it was not a well thought through decision, which is so funny because studying medicine was a hell of a meatgrinder ride (also my anxiety and self hatred? still there, but now i wasn't judged anymore because of my art but instead being called a dumb idiot collectively with all the other students because nobody likes med students) and for some reason i was able to get through that despite it not being my passion at all, but i couldn't stand up for myself in art school. i don't even know if i could work through it nowadays, but the good thing is i don't have to ask myself this question anymore, because being a doctor pays the bills, and ever since i left art school i was able to just draw without consequence. which is nice to a degree, my artistic output is not tied to the means of generating money. on the other hand... idk, in another life with more confidence and less worries, i'd love to be some sort of character designer T_T

so yeah that's basically it. at some times i cherished my career decisions, at other times i regretted them deeply, worst thing is i know it has a lot to do with personality, but the fact that we can't change who we are with a blink of an eye gives me the framework to think that the path i took was ok. as in. things happened for a reason and maybe i'm just not cut out for that kind of work. you have to be aware of the conditions of a job to decide if you are up for it. because being an artist doesn't end with "just draw". i myself had an unrealistic view of the job back then too. and the fact that i could not seperate between personal aspects and "doing a job here" was crucial.

yeah, idk if this is helpful at all. i think the one thing that is super important here is to have a realistic view on the conditions of work you are about to head into, and i know this is mostly very difficult to aquire. because unless you really work in a sector there is often no way to fully grasp the situations you can find yourself in (this applied for me also in the health sector, which made me fall into a depression a year ago, but what do you do after you spent 6 years of studying :') ). doing internships and just trying to get to know a lot of things really helps. and - idk how old you are, but if you're really young: it's ok to switch careers at some point. it's even ok to do so when you are older (trying to end on a positive note here because it feels like i just said a lot of depressing things... like don't get me wrong i like my job, the conditions are just fucked up, and again my personality prevents me from switching again but it's also not that easy in germany, BUT it's a valid thing to do, being versatile is good! just... make sure you don't end up with a job that you absolutely hate because that kills it all)

[avatar-anna]

Hey I've had a rly rly bad day :( I'm about to breakdown down n trying to do things to distract myself.. would you mind writing a little fluffy blurb about h comforting reader ??? You don't hve to if you're busy :))

hey! i'm sorry you're having a bad day. here is the fluffiest blurb (w a little bit of angst bc reader has to be crying for some reason) enjoy! 💕💕💕

.

You never knew how little you put yourself first until today.

All your life you considered yourself a compassionate person. Reliable. Dependable. Someone friends and family could count on. And you liked being that person, you liked that you had a prominent role in the lives of the people you loved and cared for most.

And if carried over into your work life too. You were constantly working overtime, saying yes to projects that your boss or co-workers prefaced with, “I knew just the person to come to for this!” And that made you feel valued. Important.

Until today.

You were already behind on a project because one of your co-workers asked you for help with theirs, and without asking why, you agreed as usual. But your own was already kind of kicking your ass and you had a million other things going on outside of work that needed your attention. You really weren’t sure why you couldn’t say no this time. You had valid reasons, yet you still tacked on more work, more stress (and not more pay, either).

“Hey, Y/n, how we doing in here?” your boss said, knocking on the open door of your office.

“A little stressed, but what else is knew?” you said with a smile. It was your normal response, but this time there was a little edge to it you hadn’t expected.

Not even noticing, your boss moved on. “Good, good. I was wondering if I could ask a favor? Our partner office from Hong Kong is coming next week, and I thought who better to show them around than our hardest worker bee?”

He said it with a smile, like it was an honor to be asked such a thing, but all you could say in reply was, “Both of my projects are due next week.”

With a quick look around the room, you saw that you were one of the last ones in the big office space. Either your co-workers took their work home or didn’t have as much to do as you did, and for the first time, that irked you. Why couldn’t your boss ask any of them when you were clearly drowning in meetings and phone calls and spreadsheets and ten minute lunches?

“I know you’ll make it work,” he said, as if he hardly even heard your response. “So you’ll do it?”

“I...”

Tears sprung out of nowhere, perhaps the stress of a task you hadn’t even accepted already weighing down on you. There would be no time, no time for yourself, or anything or anyone other than work.

“I’ll think about it,” you finally said, hoping that your boss would ask someone else in the meantime.

“Well, I kind of need an answer now—”

“Then no, my answer is no,” you blurted, standing up from your desk to pack your things. “Not only can I not do it, I don’t want to do it. You have so many people that work here that could do this for you, and even though you knew I was up to my ears in work, you asked me anyway. So no. I will not be able to help you next week.”

Your boss floundered a bit. At your outburst, or that you said no, you weren’t sure. He probably hadn’t thought to ask anyone else, had just expected you to say yes. And that once would’ve made you proud, but now you absolutely despised that.

“Well, I mean, this might affect your promotion,” he said, a last stitch effort to get you to say yes.

Could he really not see you were on the verge of tears? Or that you were in the same clothes as yesterday because you fell asleep in your office last night? Or did he just not care?

That promotion was dangled over every project, every favor, every little thing you did at work. It was the reason you did so much. You worked hard, and you wanted a paycheck that validated that. But if your boss took one refusal as a reason for you to not get a promotion, when so many of your co-workers turned things down left and right, then...

“Fuck your promotion,” you said before you could filter your words, then hastily left your office, not bothering to look your boss in the eye.

Tears wanted to fall as you rode the elevator, as you got behind the wheel of your car, but you swallowed them down, pushing them away for later.

A minute into driving, your phone rang, your cousin’s name popping up on the screen on your car’s dash.

“Hey! How’s it going?”

You didn’t have it in you to be chipper. “I think I just lost my job.”

“Oh...Well that’s—Are you okay?”

“I don’t know,” you said with a shrug.

“Great! Well, I was just calling to ask if you and H have locked down a date for the wedding,” your cousin asked.

With a raised brow, you said, “We sent out save the dates three weeks ago.”

“Right, but my wife and I booked a cruise before you and Harry even got engaged, and our flight to get to port is on the same day as the wedding. You see where I’m going with this, right?”

You did, but you were so furious that you said, “I don’t, actually.” You needed him to say it, to admit what he was asking for.

“Well, you know, since we booked this cruise before you and H got engaged, we were wondering if you could change the date. Move it up or something.”

“Or something,” you said, voice completely devoid of emotion. What would that even mean?

Did you really accommodate so much that a family member was asking to move your literal wedding day for them? Did people really expect you to bend over backwards like that?

The answer was yes. You put so many people first, that you’d become the default, friends, families, co-workers were practically on autopilot when asking for favors, you doubted they even tried to come up with solutions themselves at this point.

“So tou’ll do it?”

You were surprised when you started laughing. Not a giggle, but a full-bellied laugh. Maybe it was exhaustion, maybe it was the ludicrous favor your cousin just asked you, or maybe you’d finally snapped. Your cousin was still on the other line waiting. Because despite what clearly was a nervous breakdown, he was still expecting you to do this for him.

“Shove it up your ass and don’t bother coming to the wedding,” you said when your laughter subsided, then promptly hung up the phone.

:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

Harry was on the couch when you got home, watching one of his crime shows he loved so much. He smiled when he saw you, the reaction almost involuntary, but it faltered when he got a better look.

“What’s wrong?” he asked, turning the TV off and coming over to you.

“Bad day. Really bad day,” was all you said, voice empty.

“I’m sorry, lovie. Do you want to talk about it?”

You shook your head, and Harry took that as his cue to pull you in for a hug. He was much taller than you were, so you were completely engulfed in his soft sweater and the fresh scent of his cologne. You sighed, your shoulders sagging as he squeezed you, as if he was trying to wring all the stress and sadness out of you.

After a couple minutes, Harry let go, but only to look down at you. “So I’m thinking that as your fiance, I need to make you feel better.”

“Yeah?” you said, a small smile forming on your face. Harry seemed to be the only one who put you first, or realized when you needed a break.

“Yeah, which is great because I bought stuff at the store to make that dish you really love. The one with chicken and the red sauce? I just need a little help with—”

“You need help?” you asked, smile immediately turning into a frown. “Like a favor?”

Confused, Harry said, “Well, it’s not really a favor, I just need—”

“And I just need people to stop needing me! Why can’t anyone understand that? I give, and I give, and I give, and I never ask for anything in return, so people keep expecting me to give. Well, I have nothing to give anymore. I‘m—I’m...”

You pulled away from your fiance and stormed upstairs, locking yourself in the bathroom the two of you shared. Your were breathing as if you’d just run a marathon, unable to get a sob out before the next one came over you. Tears were hot on your cheeks, and you knew if you looked in the mirror your face would be an angry shade of red. Sliding down to the cool tile floor, you curled in on yourself and just cried.

You weren’t sure how long you’d been sitting like that, how long you stormed away from Harry. If you had the ability to think rationally for a moment, you would’ve realized that he wasn’t trying to use you or take advantage of your kindness. He didn’t even know that asking for help would’ve triggered you like this (you didn’t either, to be fair). But he just happened to be the person you blew up at, and while it wasn’t fair, you couldn’t exactly take it back.

Not that you could, at the moment. You couldn’t stop crying. No matter how much you tried to steady your breathing, or how much you thought you got out of your system, you just kept crying. So much so that you didn’t even hear Harry knock on the door the first time.

“Lovie? Can you unlock the door? Please?”

You didn’t answer, hoping that would be answer enough.

But he persisted. “I hate hearing you cry all by yourself. Will you please let me in? Let me help you, lovie.”

The sobbing stilled for just a moment, long enough to stand up and unlock the door for Harry. He opened it immediately, but you didn’t see his face before he pulled you against him again.

You didn’t know how long you stood there like that, how long you cried in Harry’s arms while he smoothed his hand down your hair soothingly and kissed the top of your head, waiting patiently until you let it all out. When you finally did, he wiped the remaining tears from your cheeks with his thumbs. You didn’t know what to say or what to do. You knew you had to do something, explain, apologize, change out of day-old clothes, something, but Harry thankfully spoke first.

“I think you need a long, hot shower.”

While you got undressed, Harry turned the water on and made sure it was the right temperature. You thought he would leave after that, but he began shedding his clothes too. You wanted to ask what he was up to, but you couldn’t find the words.

He led you to the shower and stepped in behind you. Once you were under the stream of hot water, he leaned down to kiss you, his fingers delicate as the held the side of your face. “Just relax,” he breathed, kissing the top of your cheekbone before turning you around.

Something like excitement stirred in you, even though you were much too exhausted for sex currently. But that wasn’t Harry’s intention. You heard the familiar squirt of the shampoo bottle behind you, and before you could utter a single word, Harry’s fingers were in your hair, massaging your scalp and working the shampoo into a nice lather on your head.

It was the greatest feeling, your fiance’s hands applying the right amount of pressure to make it feel soothing. Your eyes closed involuntarily, a small sigh leaving your lips as he combed through the ends of your hair. Harry repeated the process for conditioner, then body wash, and even a body scrub and the hair oil you applied after getting out of the shower. He did it all himself. You didn’t lift a finger.

At some point, as the steam and Harry’s fingers and the lovely scents of all the products used on you, you managed to find your voice. “I...I think I lost my job today,” you said, then proceeded to tell him everything. You left nothing out, not a single detail, and Harry didn’t say a word, just listened to you recount your day, and all the frustrations that came with it.

You were in a fluffy pink robe by the time you finished. Harry stood behind you while he combed your hair, careful not to hurt you with each knot he de-tangled. Only when you were obviously done talking did he say something.

“I’m proud of you,” he said, moving your hair aside to kiss your jaw.

“Really?”

He nodded. “I...I’ve noticed that you go...above and beyond for people, but family can be a touchy subject for you, and I didn’t want to upset you by implying that your family relies on you a little too much. But after hearing all of that, I can’t help but think I should’ve said something sooner. Why didn’t you tell me about work?”

“I just thought I was working hard,” you said.

It was true. You never really complained to Harry about work or let on how much you were actually doing. And maybe it was subconsciously because you knew he felt a certain way about how your family treated you. If you looked back, you could see moments where his caution manifested. Cancelling a date or two to pick someone up at the airport, running late because a family member called you at the last minute asking for a favor. It was almost like your life wasn’t yours anymore, it was everyone else’s.

“I’m sorry,” you said after a long stretch of silence while Harry finished combing your hair. “For letting all of that affect our relationship and for earlier. I wasn’t mad at you, I promise.”

“I know,” he said. He kissed your jaw again, letting his lips linger this time. “Nothing to be sorry for.”

You felt like there was, but Harry didn’t seemed concerned about it, just concerned about you.

He went through your skincare routine, applying everything to your face with gentle fingers. With each cream and serum, he kissed you. On your nose, your cheeks, your eyelids, the corners of your mouth. Every inch of your skin was sealed with a kiss and the mumbling of, “I love you.”

Harry helped you dress in cozy clothes—your favorite sweatshirt of his and your softest sweatpants. And when he was done he led you downstairs where a pot of something was waiting on the stove.

“I didn’t know how to make the red sauce,” he admitted. And you blushed at the way you exploded at him for that. He wasn’t asking just because he was lazy or wanted you to make dinner for him, he just needed a little help.

As if he could read all the thoughts swirling in your mind, he kissed your rouged cheek. “But no matter. I made macaroni and cheese for us. Straight from the box.”

“Sounds delicious,” you said. And you meant it, just appreciative that he did so much for you.

Harry served you and poured you wine. He talked about his day and the cute dog he saw while stopping for coffee, all the while holding your hand. And when you were both done, he sent you upstairs to relax while he cleaned the kitchen, threatening to haul you up himself when you tried to take your bowl to the sink.

It was weird to lay in your bed and do nothing. Usually you worked or tried to get some things done for the wedding, but tonight, you just laid in bed and watched some reality show on the television mounted on the wall that faced your bed.

Harry came up a little while later, two mugs with something steaming in them in his hands. He handed on to you and kissed your forehead before setting his down on the night table on his side of the bed and sliding in next to you. You set yours down too, cuddling into his inviting warmth.

You immediately found a comfortable position, tangled in a way that said he wasn’t letting you stand up for a single thing, except for maybe using the restroom. Harry’s cheek was squished against yours, his hand tracing delicate patterns on your stomach while he kissed you whenever he felt like it. It was the most relaxed you’d ever been, you thought. The most at peace.

“I love you,” you whispered, his hands and warmth and endless supply of kisses lulling you to sleep.

“I love you too. Now go to sleep, lovie.

To be taken care of. To hear the promise of Harry doting on you now and the rest of your life in his voice was enough to put a smile on your face as you did just as he said.

[lingy910y]

Weekly Tag Wednesday

tagged by @doshiart, @mybrainismelted, @sgtmickeyslaughter, @gallapiech, @suzy-queued

@blue-disco-lights, and @mmmichyyy

name and ao3 handle: ling, lingy910y

current location: bedroom

favorite picrew (don't have one? you can skip this or do this one)? twisha's gallavich picrew hehe, i did doshi's too for good measure but idk why i got deja vu. maybe i did it before??

what's one thing you want in a picrew? a ponytail bc i never wear my hair down if i'm going somewhere

favourite thing you’ve created (or seen created) for the fandom?

my fav of my own work has to be Going Down Kicking

my fav thing i've seen created has to be fragile little fate: portrait of a marriage by siriusmickey

why is it your favorite?

i spent so much time researching writing tips cause i want to improve each time i write a fic yknow? and i had so much specific ideas going into it

cause of the amount of space it takes up in my brain. nobody was gonna write a divorce fic but they did and they did it well

did it come easily or was it hard to create?

i rly struggle with pacing :( when i write a fic i have some big ideas for plot points but once i've wrote them, i need to write how to get from point a to point b. but those parts seem so boring to me and they'll def be for the reader as well but if i delete them it might not flow well

last ao3 fic you commented on? guys i haven't been reading much fics :(

if art counts then a reply to gigi's art, Springtime Embrace

otherwise it's Re-boyfriending by @ms-moonlight-inn

biggest wip heartache you’ve ever experienced? refer back to my fav fic 🥲

favorite trope or head cannon you like included in a fanfic? hurt/comfort

least favorite? coffee shop aus 😬

secret or surprising kink or trope? guilt, like religious trauma or internalized homophobia or survivor's guilt. I'M EVEN EXPERIENCING GUILT WHILE ANSWERING THIS

describe how you feel after you’ve created something new? very proud but also don't want anything to do with it anymore. my heart pounds in my chest and i'm sweating bullets as i secretly check to see who has seen it </3

top hype man you have that always helps you get across the finish line: @jademickian

it's been a bad day, you turn to the fandom and you___? browse tumblr ofc

tagging @deedala, @heymrspatel, @burninface, @iansw0rld, @energievie

@reganmian and @creepkinginc