#help I'm so fixated
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My fixation is BACKKKM ARGHHHHHHHHH and I got finally inspired
AMAZING DESIGN @cherryvampiro love it sm yes!!!!!(。ノω\。)
#cotc#craig of the creek#cotc fanart#steven universe#omar cotc#omar craig of the creek#cotc omar#craig of the creek omar#digital art#art#fanart#sketch#I'M LITERALLY BAWLING MY EYES OUT#help I'm so fixated#AGHH
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i need you to see my vision
i'm so sorry i know this is incredibly niche but i can't stop thinking about rtc characters with madilyn mei songs
(more of my unhinged thoughts in this post)
(all songs are by madilyn mei. in order, they are: flesh and bone, the chapel, the brink, nepotism, the milk carton, little long legs, never the muse, call me the bard, dress like a pirate, partner in crime)
#help i'm so sorry i know i do not shut up#i cannot help but combine my fixations it seems#guys i love madilyn mei. bet you couldn't tell#some of the lyrics on spotify for some of these are wrong and it is annoying me#but oh well. i'll live#ride the cyclone#rtc#madilyn mei#jane doe rtc#ocean o'connell rosenberg#misha bachynskyi#noel gruber#ricky potts#constance blackwood#bagel thoughts
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im so emotionally attached to jason grace it's not even funny atp. i literally think about him all day, I'm not exaggerating pls someone tell me they feel this way too 😮💨
#i actually might need to stop posting jason grace content for a while bc it's getting overwhelming lmao. the hyperfixation is REAL#I have so many ideas about him to post that i had to write it down on my notes app 😭#it's gotten so bad that I have attention span issues to do real life tasks bc I just wanna keep talking abt jason's character all day-#i actually went like 1/2 months without a jason grace hyper fixation. that's around the time I was inactive on tumblr#but these past few weeks the hyper fixation is hitting me harder. I'm pretty sure you can tell by how many posts i spammed this week#the fact that the jason grace x reader community isn't as active as it was back then is also not helping my hyperfixation at all#there used to be HEAPS of them every day that I looked forward to reading them every morning now I can't even see 2 in a week#i used these fics as an 'aid' for my attachment and still kinda do#also don't even get me started on how his death devastates me every single day omg like I feel genuine RAGE#pjo fanfic#pjo#pjo hoo toa#pjo series#percy jackson#percy jackson fandom#jason grace#pjo hoo#pjo fandom
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Femme Fatale (2002)
#Femme Fatale#Brian De Palma#Rebecca Romijn#filmtvdaily#tvandfilm#cinemapix#userbbelcher#chewieblog#moviehub#dailyflicks#fyeahmovies#fyeahmotionpictures#cinematicsource#userentertainments#userthing#userfilm#filmgifs#Rachel's edit tag#why is the fight being shot in silhouette make it so s*xy#and the slow zoom in showing how much laure loves having instigated this & that she could push nicolas to react this way. *chefs kiss*#also rebecca babe I hope you're not still this skinny. it doesn't look good to see your bones.#anyway. everything that happened in the bar is playing on repeat in my head. antonio and rebecca are so hot together. help.#more edits are coming. I'm fixating on this movie.
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Just had the cutest interaction while training Forte.
We were working on alternating between casual heeling/llw and fmp with him in harness around the block. We'd come full circle back to the driveway when I spotted a young kid on a bike coming up the road.
I put Forte in a down and planned to reward him as kid and dad passed by. But the kid saw Forte and stopped in front of us while repeatedly pointing out the doggy. (Kid was young, training wheels and dad's hand on the back of his seat.)
I could tell dad was getting uncomfortable because kid would not move on and was very fixated on Forte. So I looked at dad and explained that this dog is learning to be a service dog, which is a special dog who helps people. That this dog loves people but needs to be able to ignore them when he's working so he can focus on the handler. And if they had a few minutes, would they want to help me train him.
Dad relaxed and said yes. So I asked the kid if he could ride around real fast and call to the doggy. If the doggy stayed in his down I'd reward him with a tasty treat. Kid was pumped to do so. After a few minutes I thanked them both for helping me train my dog.
As the kid rode off I could hear him excitedly telling his dad "I helped train a service dog. They're really special dogs ". And dad agreed that he did and that he'd done a good job. Kid proceeded to say "I'm going to tell mom I helped train a service dog. Does she know they're special dogs?" To which dad said mom's going to be impressed because she knows those are special helper dogs and their training is really important.
It was such a wholesome interaction.
#dogblr#forte#belgian tervuren#service dog in training#psychiatric service dog#sdit#distraction training#kids are often a trigger for me so when i train around them it's usually at a distance#plus I'm sure the dad was nervous about his young son fixating on an unknown dog#so it really felt like a win for all to invite them to be part of the training#also it was so cute to hear the kid be so excited about helping train Forte#they moved into the neighborhood at the beginning of summer and this was our first real interaction#it felt really nice to have it be a positive learning experience#unrelated picture of Forte with his beloved piggy for tax
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y'all ever get fixated on something so extremely you feel like you HAVE to speak abt it RN or else you'll start CONVULSING AND DYING ON THE FLOOR (not rlly but i will SCREAM AND CRY about Hatchetfield). YEAH THIS IS ME ABT HATCHETFIED IM GOING INSANE AAAAAAAAA
#hatchetverse#hatchetfield#starkid#npmd#black friday musical#the guy who didnt like musicals#tgwdlm#nerdy prudes must die#I'M GOING INSANE ABT HATCHETFIELD HELP ME#AAAAAAAA#☆‧₊˚ fixating ✩#fixating so intensely
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sometimes looking at like Self Help Strategies lists for the symptoms I'm having is always just like:
thing that I already do
thing I have tried 10 times
thing I already do
thing that I don't have the money to do
thing I already do
thing I've been doing since I was 10yrs old to no avail
thing that is impossible given my situation
thing that doesn't apply to me
thing that I already do
thing I have already tried
hrmm, oh wait, maybe finally- OH, yeah.. okay. thing that I already do but it was just phrased slightly differently
thing I have already done
#I think maybe productivity tips help less if the reason you're unproductive is partially like.. physcial health and other extenral things#out of your control. rather than just like having trouble paying attention or spending too much time on tiktok or whatever#all the strategic to do lists in the world are not going to somehow prevent me from waking up with a debilitating migraine or whatever#or having external stressors or lacking resources and connections or other Productivity Essentials etc.#especially many tips involve stuff like 'cut off from social media' since thats the modern day time waster for so many poeple#and it's like.. lol.. i can hardly even maintain a blog even thuogh i actively WANT TO DO SO. 'shut off your smart phone!' already#done babey i fucking hate smart phones i shall never use an app unless i am forced to. 'delete tiktok' yep. already covered. tiktok and#all of those thinsg are my enemies. 'save money by cancelling some of your services' cool. already ahead of you.#who the fuck is out here paying for like 10 different subscription services. pirated videos uploaded to google drive and youtube to mp3#my beloved. etc. etc. and so on. 'socialize less' .........LOL.. if only you knew.. mr.writer of the article. i can barely muster#talking to friends more than once a month and even less if I'm actively sick (often occurence) etc. etc. ... hewoo#I think maybe instead of generic productivity tips I need more like.. how to refocus and be productive anyway even if you have a headache#or are nauseous or etc. Not that those are always things to ignore. and of course you should let your body rest and etc. But plenty of peop#e have mild physical symptoms and just work through them. Ithink something about the way my body/mind is SOO hyper attuned to all#sensory information just makes it like... constantly 'GRR well I cant focus on WRITING right now because my lef#t ear feels weird and my socks are too itchy and my back has a strange pressure and I'm vaguely warm and my eye feels some ssort of#way it doesnt normally feel and I'm hyperaware of my breathing and also nauseous for no reason' and like half of those things I#think '''normal''' people wouldnt even notice or at least would be able to just live through. but for me it's like.. nealry impossible to i#gnore and soooo distracting always. like 'wahh.. nooo we can't draw or get anything done.. my legs feel slightly heavy or something!!'#like............. ok......... who cares. thats not even a PAIN sensation it's just something weird. but it's just like.. NO. constant#mental alerts about the 'heaviness' of your legs be upon ye. Though Imean like.. yes.. 70% of the time I am in genuine pain#or having some sort of actual ailment with trackable physical symptoms. but sometimes it's just like... we could totally be working right#now and ignoring this silly thing but my brain is fixated on it for no reason uncontrollably. etc. etc. I guess it's the same way that like#most people can go to a grocery store without the whole experience being so overwhelming and so much stuff going on at once#that they have to rest afterwards but like.. in my own HOME doing NOTHING i feel like I should be able to not get overwhelmed lol. ANYWAY#Rolling my bastard little rock up a dumbass hill and so on and so forth
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I want to get to the good part of this blastvoid thing I'm writing but i do NOT want to write the part before it and I'm procrastinating so fucking hard
Like i know what i want and it'll be satisfying but it's like the reverse of eating beef jerky, where this is the tough gross part you just need to swallow before getting to the fucking SPPIUCCE
#I'm writing their early days when blast first realizes a) fucking void is an option and b) he REALLY wants to#but it's in the middle of a one night stand with a woman#and I'm just......so uninterested in most straight stuff......like unless its genderfuckery with the characters cause that's cool#also hard because i really believe background characters should have their own lives so trying to write these OCs as likable and believable#without them taking to too much time#or at least if they do have them be fun enough that it's fine#and also having it be believable that they'll go about their business even after the story moves on from them#hard too to get into the head of a frat bro/fuckboy which is kinda how i see Blast#or rather it's hard to write him without making him either too soft or too gross#like the way i like and see women isn't necessarily the way a guy like that would and it's tough to figure out where the crossover is#so i can use it to make this whole thing more believable#i REALLY want it to be clear that blast and void do not have the kind of relationship that would be good for anyone else#and probably really isn't even good for them#but that requires a fair amount of build up to get it across the way I'd like#like blast is fixated on void and so hyper aware of everything he does that he's almost#but not quite#scared of him#and void knows what he's doing because blast is the Goldie Locks of candidates for someone to help him with the GOD stuff#and he D O E S N O T want him going anywhere so he's gonna keep him close using every trick in the book#but blast IS charismatic and he IS fun and he DOES make daily life a lot more pleasant#so he's uncomfortably attached too#but blast has zero fucking for clue about any of that other than he's aware of just **how little** he knows about void#IT'S A FUCKING LOT OF SUBTEXT TO GET ACROSS WITH A CHARACTER I'M STRUGGLING WITH#I'm going to do it but MAN#blastvoid
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one of the worst part of experiencing focus issues is that once you notice it's happening, you're reminded of it every 3 seconds if you try to do literally anything
I feel like a glitchy camera lens, constantly going in and out of focus
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the falsettos experience gets worse every time u watch it because there's nothing u can do to prevent anything that happens
#me when i fixate on media#me when i can literally only sit in misery and can't help or save any of them#i'm so devastated#each time i forget to expect it again#i literally cant deal#falsettos#falsettos musical#leo talks!
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ngl having bad brain times. Can you ever physically FEEL the lack of the get things done chemical
#the advice for depression is to do the things that you used to enjoy and wait for them to help again#it's good advice and it does work to an extent but listen#i don't choose when i find things enjoyable i fixate on a topic and everything becomes enjoyable again#it's not like doing hobbies or reading or cleaning or eating meals helps THAT much#it just keeps me busy and sane and makes my body keep working until i get some good brain chemical shipped in#then I'll remember everything i've been putting off but at least i'll be relatively functional at that point#it's not that all the depression tips are useless. i'd be much worse if i didn't do any of them#as it is i've made it over 25 years without even developing a nicotine addiction or a crippling dependence on alcohol#my joints are even still fine mostly and i can tell when to get out of a situation so i can keep living#now i even know when i want to be around someone and when i don't!#i'm basically great at existing i've studied with the masters#still.
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again and again i find myself lamenting that audio roleplay isn't taken more seriously by some people. like yeah, they often have a romantic element, and by nature they usually directly involve/address the listener- and i totally get that those things aren't to everyone's taste. no art or entertainment is universally appealing, and that's okay! but.. it still makes me a lil sad that the "cringe" reputation of asmr/audio rp precedes it. there's a whole lot of talent and creativity being poured into these audios by so many people that i feel goes unrecognized and/or disrespected simply due to the medium that the stories are being told through.
#this post brought to you by: me bingeing Sam & Darlin's entire storyline over the past few days and having a Lot of feelings abt it#asmr#audio roleplay#rp audio stuff#redacted audio#anyways i don't have a conclusion to this post. and i'm not Mad or Upset or anything i'm just thinkin' out loud#and i mean it's not like it doesn't get plenty of praise within its respective audience bc it does. at least for the more popular creators#but i feel it'll still always have the shadow of its cringe reputation looming over it#which makes it hard for some ppl to openly appreciate or share with others that aren't already fans of the medium#like do u know how many comments i've seen along the lines of 'this is great but i'd die if anyone knew i liked this kinda stuff' ?? :(#idk maybe i feel strongly about it bc i'm a self-insert fanfic writer. and i feel like the two have a lot in common. including a bad rep.#like. not every audio will be well-written or produced and neither will every fanfic. but that doesn't mean it's a less legitimate artform#and i'm lucky to have never (yet) received negative comments on my work. but that doesn't mean that it doesn't make me sigh when people-#-say shit like 'this reads like fanfiction' as a way of calling something bad. or other similar sentiments that make the same implication#and i wouldn't be surprised if audio creators feel the same way when they encounter certain comments or statements#like. those YT videos where ppl will 'try bf asmr for the first time' or whatever and it's just 20 mins of cringing and over-reacting? eugh#tbf i haven't watched many bc why do that to myself. so Maybe there's some that are respectful but still. imagine getting roasted like that#and yes yes i know that by posting stuff online you're inadvertently sighing up to be criticized by Anyone but still. man. i dunno#i'm going on a tangent but my point is. i'm grateful for the creators that still make their art in spite of the public's perception of it#bc some of the most impactful emotional experiences i've ever gained from fiction took place in audio rp and i'm so serious abt that.#anyways. this post almost feels like i'm 'making up a person to be mad at' but i promise it's not that serious i'm just yapping. mostly.#certainly not trying to start any kind of debate or anything either i just have a lot of fixation-induced energy and nowhere to put it#this is Eric's fault (/lh) for cooking Sam up in a lab catered exactly to my taste and making Darlin' waaaaay too painfully relatable#but it's also My fault for bingeing the Inversion /and/ the Quinn arc /and/ the Summit all within a couple days. but i can't help myself#feels like i've run an emotional marathon. triathlon. The Emotional Olympics if u will. i'm feeling Everything#who knew that beating the shit out of ur fictional abuser could feel so goddamn cathartic! it's a nice replacement when u can't do it irl#anyways i'm off on a tangent again. thanks for coming to my TED Talk i'm gonna crawl back in my hole now#actually i'm gonna go relisten to a few audios. as Research for my Sam & Darlin' playlist as well as a post i'll be making about it soon#u Know i've got it bad when i not only make a playlist but start Posting on here about the songs that remind me of them. i'm cooked guys.
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Having fun, more and more! (Patreon)
#Doodles#Unicorn Tails#Dangersoft#Villainsona#Just Desserts#True Villainy AU#Okay fine I'll talk about the really silly fixation I accidentally fell into lol#It's all Jello's ISaT stream's fault they mentioned Wall Day and I got curious!#Actually it was Jello reciting Will's line as the mad cultist in a kids' unicorn game that got me interested lol he just went all out#And it really is a kids' game! Like yeah some of the lore is dark and ominous and weird but it's genuinely just a nice unicorn game#And the character customization is cute and you can buy a spider hat! I want a spider hat#I'm fully onboard at this point lol I intend to buy it for realsies and play as an alicorn and go hunting for the Estranged Rabbit#Dangersoft is great of course <3 Neon green horse love that for her#Some happies <3 I've been quite happy lately :D Big Loves yay <3#If there is an article of clothing I can hide in I will take the opportunity every time lol#Regularly hiding in hoods and collars - it just feels nice!#More Charm more cutes <3 I've had the idea of her cutting her hair for S3 since she was created but I still don't Actually have anything lol#She's just cute and I love her! She's adorable no matter what she looks like#I think I was thinking something along the lines of her long hair being used against her in her True Villain form#Like how it's normally up and ice cream shaped but Kaiein wanted it down and it gave her a different look#But short it can't look like that :) She's always light and fluffy if it's short! I like it <3#Speaking of - her candle wings popping out from her Kaiein wings!#It's weird to see her with her hair down and glasses on in that context haha#I do like the symbolism of dark inky wings being cut through with fire and light :) Still drippy tho lol#And rounding off with a Just Desserts bee <3 I posted that one JD Pet Bee a while ago but I think bees are also wild animals#They're important for sweets production and pollination! Fruit-based sweets need them!#I personally really love bees I think they're the cutest but I also get really stressed about buzzing :'D#Does Not help that my hair is a colour they're attracted to so they come up right next to my head to investigate agh#So Charm is the same! Loves bees! They're wonderful and important and cute! But the buzzing...#She's being very brave tho <3
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I got bored & tried making a psd. hmmmm
#i am so horribly fixated on hsr right now I'm gonna be sick#and noo ... i don't think I'll become a photopea editor fully. ibispaintX are my roots and that's where I'll stay#/silly. HELP
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There's just so many little 'why...'s in TLJ... They brought the last bombers the Resistance had to the fight over D'Qar, but actually they didn't plan on using them, they were just meant to distract the FO from the Resistance's base evacuation. They were meant to turn around and leave as soon as the evacuation was complete. But Poe goes through the trouble of clearing all of those surface cannons. To make way for the bombers that aren't supposed to be used. Was there no better distraction they could think of? They lose every single bomber and quite a few pilots for this mess.
AND, ON TOP OF ALL OF THIS — the giant fuck-you cannons on the Dreadnought could completely bypass the bombers. All of the distractions in the world would not have mattered at all if Canady had been just a little quicker on targeting the Resistance flagship. The only reason the evacuation was successful at all is that the Dreadnought took a little too long to charge and fire on the base. The bombers had nothing to do with it. A+ plan???
#The writing's just. very loosely knit.#I'm not even 50 pages in god help me#why is it TLJ my brain wanted to fixate on#tlj#text#okay actually I know why my brain fixates on TLJ it's because Mr. Hux gets hurt and humiliated and I love angst#Also I love the visuals in TLJ sorry sorry I am a visuals gal#I don't like JJ's directing aesthetic and pallettes etc#TLJ is so much more pretty and pleasing to me#Like stark lighting and reds and blacks seems much truer to the FO aesthetic me#ANYWAY#talking in the tags#meta
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Annie Cresta: *is played by a woman with only slightly wavy hair*
Me: Give me this or give me death
#again no hate to the actress#just as a book lover first the wild dark curls live in my head rent free#like white annie?#I'm down#asian annie?#i could see it#some other race for her?#I'm open to it#mixed raced annie?#tottally cool to me#but the hair?#that's just something my heart can't let go of#thg#the hunger games#catching fire#cf#mockingjay#mj#annie cresta#2 posts about in the span of like 5 seconds i guess i should have seen this coming#& well Finnick is such a great character that you can't help but fixate on him#& well i guess that was a gateway drug to getting invested in odesta & then later annie herself#I'm sorry i took the long route but don't worry my mermaid princess i see & appreciate you now & forever#sorry for getting rid of sandra oh but she’s a bit too old to play her (she probably would have slayed it when she was younger though)#& i wondered if it might confuse people#like i only used her picture for her hair not her#so i replayed her with younger actresses with similar hair that I think represent well what I imagine annie to look like
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