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javierpena-inatacvest · 9 months

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Chapter 18: Hole in None

Summary: During your bridal shower, Steve takes Javi golfing. When they return, the way Javi is acting has you questioning everything you knew about your relationship.

Word Count: 12.1K (getting back to my roots of a short chapter LMAO)

Warnings: SMUT(18+) unprotected p in v sex (wrap it up irl pls), oral (f receiving), creampie, praise kink, breeding kink (if you squint?), makeup sex and getting caught (The Murphy's will never catch a break) ANGST (I'm so sorry!!), Hurt/comfort, Javi being super insecure, you being confused as hell, Steve being an absolute idiot

A/N: HELLO. IT'S ME! I DO EXSIST! I am genuinely SO sorry that this chapter has taken a million years to happen. December has been so busy and I have had no time to write, so I really, really appreciate all of your patience 🥺 This is a lil different than any other chapter we've had so far in the NTL universe, it's a lil angsty-er than normal but ya girl only believes in happy endings so don't fret!!! Also poorly beta'd bc I have the stomach flu and I am 100% there are mistakes in this chapter that I'm sure I missed 🫠

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“Do I really have to do this? This thing hasn’t even started yet and I’m already exhausted.”

“Yes, Hermosa, I do think that most people do expect the bride to be at her own bridal shower.” Javi laughed, staring into the bathroom mirror as he ran his hands through the dark curls of his hair, fixing them into place as you stood next to him, finishing the rest of your longer than usual makeup routine to prepare for being the center of attention against your will for the next several hours.

It wasn’t that you weren’t grateful that your co-workers wanted to throw you a bridal shower before your wedding, now only a few weeks away- the sentiment of the whole thing was incredibly thoughtful. Your 3rd grade teammates had even found a way to get in touch with your family to make sure that your mom, aunts and cousins felt included in the event, too. You should have been thrilled about the fact that the people who loved you most in the world were coming together to celebrate your upcoming wedding and quite literally showering you with gifts, but if there was one thing you hated more than anything else, it was the social exhaustion that came from having a party planned for no one but you.

You had really tried to convince Maria, Estelle, Linda, and now, your mom that you didn’t need a bridal shower- your wedding was going to be small, and since you had already been living on your own, there weren’t a lot of things you needed as you started married life together. Unfortunately, neither of those arguments were going to stop those ladies from going all out for you, leaving you feeling like your bridal shower was turning out to be even bigger than your actual wedding.

“Don’t you think I could just get a cardboard cutout of myself and use that instead? All these ladies love to talk so much that I don’t think they would even know the difference.” You sighed, giving yourself a once over in the mirror before putting away the rest of your makeup as Javi snuck behind you, wrapping his arms around your waist, planting a soft kiss into your shoulder as he pressed his chest against your back.

“I have a feeling that someone would notice.” Javi chuckled, a soft grin spreading across his face as your eyes met in the mirror, his smile and sweet eyes enough to calm your nerves for at least a moment. “I would definitely notice.”

“Well that’s easy for you to say, you don’t even have to be there.” You huffed, letting a little pout fall from your lips as Javi playfully shook you in his grasp, trying your best not to smile as you tried to keep up your unenthused facade. “It’s not too late to trade. You can go to the bridal shower and I can go golfing with you and Steve.”

Even though Javi had insisted he was more than happy to stay at the shower with you, Maria had insisted that Javi find another way to spend his time so the spotlight of the day could be on you, and not him being distractingly handsome to everyone else there. Lucky for Javi, that meant extra time to spend with Steve while Connie was at your shower- not so lucky for you that Maria had banished your future husband from attending an event for your own wedding.

“I honestly may have to take you up on that. Steve must have needed an ego boost when I let him pick what he wanted to do while you and Connie were at the shower because he knows I can’t golf for shit.” Javi’s overdramatic sigh and roll of his eyes was enough to make you break into a little giggle, turning your head enough to press a quick kiss onto his cheek before reaching your hand under his chin, giving his jaw a little jiggle. “It’ll go by fast, Osita, I promise. And then, when we get home,” he paused, pressing another kiss into your shoulder and up towards your neck, digging his fingers a little tighter into your sides as he rasped into your ear, “I’ll take as much time as you want to destress you.”

“As much time as I want? Bold of you to assume that the dog is gonna give us that long.” You snickered as a happy Bear trotted into your bathroom right on cue, his tail loudly thumping against the bathroom cabinets from his happy wags as he wedged himself between you and Javi.

The newest furry member of your household had been a well loved addition, but if there was one thing Bear had no concept of, it was privacy. Your dog had become a constant shadow to you and Javi anywhere and everywhere in your house, including your in your bedroom, even when you were, well, not sleeping. It hadn’t helped that Javi had already formed such a soft spot for Bear, and had let him on your bed from the moment he stepped foot into the apartment, and now, your dog and his clingy personality had become a new obstacle to try and navigate in your sex life.

“Someone needs to tell his dad that he’ll survive if he gets left out of the bedroom for a half hour, huh? That he’s adorable, but that he can be a little cockblock, can’t he?” Squatting down next to Bear, you wrapped your hands around his face, scratching behind his ears as you mockingly serenaded him, raising an eyebrow at Javi.

“He just sounds so sad when he whines and he’s trapped outside the door.” Javi grumbled, kneeling down to join you, patting Bear’s stomach, now much thicker and fuller than it was a few weeks ago after you had first brought him home, skinny and neglected from his lack of care from his previous owners.

“You say trapped like we're kicking him out to the streets when we close the door on him. He’s adorable and sweet, but he’s a dog, Jav, he’ll be okay.” You smirked, playfully scolding Javi as you peppered Bear’s head with kisses, making his tail thump even harder as it wagged back and forth. “Tell your dad you’ll be just fine, won’t you?”

“Yeah, yeah, yeah…” Javi groaned, knowing damn well you were right, even though he couldn’t bring himself to admit he had become an absolute softie for your new dog. “Alright, Hermosa, we gotta get you to this shower before Maria yells at me for making you late.” Pushing his hands against his knees, Javi let out a little grunt as he pushed himself back up to stand, checking the time on the silver watch wrapped around his wrist.

“Wow, so eager to get rid of me, you must really be excited to go get your ass kicked in golf.” You teased, now following suit and straightening out your dress as you stood, throwing your arms around Javi’s neck, pressing up on your tiptoes to plant a little kiss on his lips. “Sure you don’t want me to golf for you?”

“I’m sure, you dork.”

After Javi had insisted on giving Bear more than his fair share of treats before the two of you left for the day, you were on the road to Maria’s, Javi insisting that he drop you off, instead of letting you take the treacherous 2 minute drive by yourself. As you drove down Maria’s street, you couldn’t help but smile at the memory of walking up to her house for an end of the school year party almost exactly a year ago. A party that had ultimately turned a handsome stranger from the Laredo Sheriff's department into your future husband, now sitting in the driver’s seat on the way to your bridal shower. You couldn’t help but laugh to yourself at the irony, leaning your head over onto Javi’s broad shoulder as you pulled up to Maria’s house.

“What’s up, Osita?” Javi asked, a twinge of confusion in his voice at the content and calm of your demeanor as the two of you arrived at the event that you had been seemingly dreading for days.

“I just- It was probably a year ago to the day the last time that we were at Maria’s house. Crazy to think that a year later we’re getting married and here for my bridal shower. I don’t know, a year ago I never would have thought I would have met someone I love so much, let alone be getting married, building a house, owning a dog, I- I’m just really happy that the department made you come to do that stupid presentation. You’ve made this year the best thing that’s ever happened to me. You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me. I love you, Jav.”

A tender silence hung in the air as Javi leaned over the center console, gently bringing his palm to cup the side of your face, his thumb tracing circles along your cheek, letting his sweet brown eyes lock with yours as a soft smile spread across his face. “I love you too, Osita.” His words barely left his mouth above a whisper, bringing his lips to yours. The two of you could have stayed like this forever, lost in the moment of your love for each other, but unfortunately, the world had other plans.

“JAVIER. DIOS MIO. CAN YOU KEEP YOUR HANDS OFF OF HER FOR 3 SECONDS?” Maria shouted, banging at the driver’s side window, the aggressive thumps of her hand against the glass making the two of you practically jump out of your skin.

“Jesus Fucking Christ….” Javi whispered, clutching his hand over his chest, trying to steady his heart rate back to normal, the two of you looking at each other in pure terror.

“If you’re going to drop her off and make a scene in my driveway, the least you can do is help an old woman out before you leave, Javier!” Maria demanded, still rapping her knuckles against the glass, the two of you trying to keep from dying of embarrassment as you exited out of the car.

“Sorry Maria…” The two of you grimaced, still trying to avoid direct eye contact with her before she decided to scold you more.

“Chucho is right, you two are no worse than a pair of teenagers. Come on, we only have an hour before everyone arrives and I need you and that wildly blonde haired boy to help me move chairs.” Shaking her head in disappointment, Maria was already halfway up the driveway and into the house as you and Javi trailed behind her, glancing at each other in confusion as to who she was referring to, until you noticed the Murphy’s car parked on the side of the street, realizing that Steve and Connie must have beaten you there.

Before you even had a chance to make it a foot into the house, you were greeted by an overbearing swarm of people rushing to say hello and give you a hug, already feeling overwhelmed 30 seconds into the start of your shower, and these were all people you knew. Your mom was the first to make her way through the crowd, squeezing you in a death grip hug, even though you had just seen her last night after picking her up from the airport and dropping her off at her hotel.

“Oh my god, I can’t believe the day is almost here! My baby girl is finally getting married! Ugh, you look beautiful sweetheart!” Your mom beamed, planting a chaste kiss on your cheek before making her way over to Javi, squeezing him just as hard. “C’mere, don’t think that you get to escape hugs from me too, Javi.” Javi looked over at you, trying his best not to laugh at everyone’s dramatics, knowing how stressed you already were, and that no one’s overly excited attitude was doing you any favors.

“Ouch on the finally there, Mom. What do you need help with?” You asked, noticing that your mom had been holding on to Javi for a touch longer than what was probably appropriate while everyone else continued to hustle and bustle around Maria’s house.

“Does he always smell that good? God, I wished your father smelled like that, the man smells like a sweaty sock. Javi, what kind of cologne do you-”

“Mom! Jesus Christ.” You interjected, burying your hands in your face.

“Sorry, sorry! Honey, you don’t need to help with anything, it’s your shower!” Your mom swatted her hand at you, shaking her head in disbelief that you would ask to help, even though she knew better than anyone it was not in your nature to sit back on the sidelines and let other people do the work for you.

“Why don’t you come help me set up decorations?” A soft voice replied behind you, making you whip your head around as their hand rested on your shoulder.

“Connie!” You grinned, throwing her arms around her, relieved to find someone who wasn’t going to drive you absolutely crazy for the next hour of party prep. “It’s so good to see you, thank you so much for coming!”

“Hey, Sweetheart!” a lower voice grunted from behind a stack of folding chairs making its way to the backyard.

“Wow, Maria put you to work too, Steve? Yikes, she’s running a tight ship around here.” You and Connie snickered as Steve set down his stack of chairs, revealing his already sweaty and frustrated face, considering Maria had probably made him carry 6 trips worth of seats up and down the stairs since he and Connie had arrived.

“You’re tellin’ me. Hey, make yourself useful and pick up some of these chairs, lazy ass. Sooner we get this set up, the sooner I kick your butt at golf.” Steve smirked, gesturing over at Javi, still standing in the doorway with his hands on his hips.

“In that case, I’m taking one chair at a time.” Javi sighed, pressing a quick kiss to your temple in stride towards Steve, giving him a swift hug and a pat on the back before being interrupted by a shrill and demanding voice.

“JAVIER. I HEARD THAT. IF I DON’T SEE YOU WITH A STACK OF CHAIRS IN YOUR HANDS THE NEXT TIME YOU’RE OUTSIDE, IT’D BETTER BE BECAUSE YOU ARE DEAD.” Maria shouted from across the house, making everyone’s faces freeze in fear.

“You heard the woman. Chop, chop, Peña.” Steve chuckled to himself before passing off half of the chairs over to Javi, and walking towards the back of the house as Javi picked up his share, begrudgingly trailing behind Steve.

“Alright, we should probably get to work on decorations before Maria finds us standing around for too long. I know you’re the bride, but I have a feeling that holds very little value to her until everything is set up.” Connie shrugged, nodding towards the backyard where the shower was being held.

“You’re definitely right, and I would prefer to live through my bridal shower in order to make it to my actual wedding.”

With all of the helping hands around the house, and Maria’s commanding dictatorship over shower setup, all of you had finished with time to spare, leaving your mom and co-workers to happily chat and gossip amongst themselves as you and Connie found your way to say goodbye to Steve and Javi, one of whom was looking much more excited about departing for golf than the other.

“Have fun, ladies. Any last words for your future husband before I absolutely obliterate him on the golf course?” Steve snickered, giving Javi a soft punch on the shoulder.

“Shut the fuck up, Murph.” Javi groaned, rolling his eyes as he braced himself for the next 3 hours of harassment from his former partner.

“Don’t be too hard on him, okay Steve? He gets grumpy when he loses, so just a reasonable amount of ass whooping, nothing too drastic.” You teased, now playfully punching on the other side of his arm, you, Steve, and Connie laughing to yourselves at Javi’s fed up frown.

“Says the one who literally pouted for hours after insisting we play "Sorry" and then she lost.” Javi smugly murmured, raising an eyebrow at you, crossing his arms over his chest.

“Well someone wasn’t very sorry about it, were they… You know what, Steve? I changed my mind, go ahead and kick his ass for me.” A mischievous grin grew across your face, bursting out into giggles as Javi flung his arms around you, giving you a squeeze and shaking you in his grasp.

“Pendejo. Alright, you need anything else before I go get my ass kicked, Hermosa?” Javi asked, pressing a kiss into your hair. You were about to speak, but stopped yourself for a moment, looking Javi up and down, admiring how handsome he looked in the khakis and navy blue polo he had picked out this morning. You’d been so worried and worked up about the day that you hadn’t really had a chance to get a good look at him until now, and God, part of you wished you hadn’t taken the time to really take it all in as he stood next to you. You knew there was nothing you could really do about it now, but that wasn’t about to stop you from at least getting a little taste.

“Uh yeah, I uh- actually um, I uh, I scraped my finger earlier on one of the banners I was setting up and I think I got a papercut. I forgot to ask Maria about it earlier, but um, can you show me where the bandaids are upstairs again?” You tried your best to sound as casual as possible, but Javi knew just as well as you that there was no way in hell that you actually needed a bandaid. His brow scrunched in a slight confusion, head cocked to the side as if to say “I think I know where this is going and I’m not really sure it’s going to work” before giving you a little shrug, gesturing up towards the bathroom at the top of the stairwell, trying to keep his smug grin hidden between his lips.

“Yeah, I uh- here, let me show you where they are and I can get you one before we go.” Before Steve or Connie could even muster a word in protest, Javi was already dragging you halfway up the stairs, barely letting you make it to the top of the stairway before closing the bathroom door behind you.

“Band Aid, really? That was the best you could come up with?” Javi laughed under his breath, letting his hands roam down your sides and under the hem of your dress as his fingers dug into the meat of your ass, the heat of his breath tickling your skin where his lips met your neck, gently sucking at your pulse point, making a tiny moan escape from your mouth.

“I needed to come up with something to get you alone for long enough to give you a proper goodbye before you left.”

“And a Band Aid was the way to do that?”

“Oh shut up.” You giggled, draping your arms over Javi’s neck, letting your hands roam through the curls at the nape of his neck before pulling him in tighter to let his lips crash into yours with an electric intensity, his fingertips gripping deeper into your flesh.

“I don’t think-” Javi muttered between kisses, “I don’t think a bandaid is gonna buy us enough time to do anything, Hermosa.”

“I know. I just needed this. Just needed to kiss your stupidly handsome face. I needed something before you left me to fend for myself. Plus,” you paused, pulling back to see the lovestruck grin spread between Javi’s cheeks, “only fair that I get a chance to recreate our first kiss.” You snickered, gesturing to the interior of Maria’s bathroom, where you had found yourself with Javi almost a year ago to the day, your lips meeting for the first time as you sat on the ledge of the sink after Javi had came to your aid when a shattered beer bottle had landed in your leg.

“Fuck, I forgot our first kiss was in Maria’s bathroom. Real fucking smooth of me, huh?” Javi grumbled, rolling his eyes at his past self for letting your first kiss be in the bathroom of his Mom’s best friend’s house.

“Smooth enough for me to wanna marry you, so I guess it all worked out okay, didn’t it?” You teased, planting one last kiss on his lips before shooting him a wink and slipping out the bathroom, your face warm and tingly from the rush of excitement tucked away with Javi in your impromptu makeout session. Javi ran his hand over his face, taking a moment to try and compose himself, shaking his head to himself in shock and delight at how he found himself falling more and more in love with you every day.

“Okay, uh- sorry, sorry about that. Just didn’t wanna have to bother Maria for anything.” You sighed, darting your eyes away from Steve and Connie, their arms crossed against their chest with almost comically smug smirks on their faces as they watched you shuffle back down the stairs, Javi reluctantly trailing behind you.

“Yeah? How’d that bandaid work out for ya?” Steve smiled with a shit eating grin, nodding to your hands, neither of them with a bandaid anywhere in sight. You let out a gulp, trying to quickly tuck your hands behind your back, your cheeks flushing pink with embarrassment. “Goddamn, you two gonna make it 3 hours without touching each other, or am I gonna have to bring him back here after hole 4 for a mid-round makeout?”

“Jesus Christ, Murph, really?.” Javi grumbled, rolling his eyes. “Bye, love you. Have fun and I’ll see you soon.” Leaned over, snaking his arm around your waist to plant one last kiss in your hair.

“Not soon enough, apparently…”

“Murphy…”

“Stop makin’ out and I’ll stop givin’ you shit.”

“Touche…” You muttered under your breath, just loud enough to make the 4 of you burst into laughter, easing the uncomfortable tension that you had brought upon yourself from your antics. “Love you too, have fun getting your ass kicked.”

“Yes, yes, out, out, out! It’s only 10 minutes until guests arrive and your truck is taking up all the room in the driveway! Out!” Stampeding into the living room, Maria waved her hands at the boys, quite literally shooing them out of the house after overhearing your goodbyes. Giving a quick wave to Javi as Maria kicked him and Steve to the curb, you caught Javi’s head whipping around for one last glance at you before you left, giving you a once over with his eyes and a soft smile on his face as the front door shut behind him.

Truth be told, your shower ended up being way less painful than you expected it would be. In all honesty, it was actually somewhat enjoyable. The fact that your mom, co-workers, and Connie had put into helping everyone come together to celebrate you filled your heart with so much more joy than you could have predicted- your friends and family had bought you and Javi so many more gifts than you knew what to do with, had so many kind things to say about the two of you, and Connie had even gone out of her way to make sure that there were fun games planned for everyone to keep the need for constant socialization at bay. It really had ended up being a fun afternoon, even if it meant having to answer the same questions about your wedding, house and honeymoon plans more times than you could count.

Javi, on the other hand, could not have been having a worse time on the golf course, getting his ass thoroughly handed to him by Steve hole after hole, wondering to himself how anyone could bring themself to genuinely enjoy the torture that had been the past two and a half hours of hacking his club into chunks of grass and loosing his golf balls in the brush. The only consoling factor was that Javi was grateful to spend time with Steve, even if it meant being berated by endless questions from him on top of his painful performance while he played.

“You feelin’ ready for the big day?” Steve grunted, after smacking his driver against his ball from the tee box, Javi relieved that the pair were finally on the 9th and final hole.

“Yeah, I mean- Oh fuck me-” Javi grumbled, hitting his club and watching his ball fly into a patch of trees, the opposite direction of where he was trying to aim for, “I still can’t believe I’m getting married.”

“You and me both, Jav. I never thought I’d live to see the fuckin’ day, that’s for damn sure. Javier Peña, a married man.” Steve chuckled, slipping his club into his golf bag as Javi followed behind, grabbing what must have been the 57th golf ball from his bag this round.

“Shut the fuck up, Murph.” Javi chuckled, shaking his head at his friends’ jab, the two of them hopping into the golf cart together to try and scavenge for Javi’s long lost ball.

“I’m just given’ you shit, Jav. I’m fuckin’ happy for you man. Really happy. She’s a great girl. Best thing that’s ever happened to your sorry ass, I’ll tell you that much. Guess you don’t have to worry about really followin’ through this time?”

“What do you mean?”

“You’re actually gonna get married this time? You’re not leavin’ her at the altar like Lorraine, huh?” As Steve laughed to himself, Javi could practically feel his stomach drop, his heart beginning to race as a wave of terrible guilt and panic washed over him at his friend’s ironic question.

To his own shock and surprise, Javi hadn’t thought about his last lack of a wedding once since the two of you had gotten engaged. He had been so head over heels excited to spend the rest of his life with you, that the failures of his past engagement had been tucked far away in the back of his mind. But then again, no one had been so gracious as to bring up the knife to the chest that was leaving Lorraine at the altar, and no one had been so gracious as to bring it up in classic Steve Murphy fashion.

Javi could audibly hear himself gulp, his heartbeat pounding so loud he could hear it ringing in his ears as the terrible reality of the past he had so glady forgotten about met him in a head on collision, instantly re-opening all of the cuts and wounds he had finally managed to sew together.

The last time he almost got married, Javier Peña had astronomically fucked up the lives of every last person who cared about him, leaving nothing but chaos and heartbreak in his wake.

Rationally, Javi could tell himself that his upcoming wedding was the polar opposite of everything that was once planned between him and Lorraine. Javi couldn’t have cared less about Lorraine. From the moment he had wearily accepted his fate, he had dreaded every moment of his future from that point on. But you were not Lorraine.

Javi loved you.

Javi cared about you.

Javi wanted nothing more than to spend the rest of his life with you and give you everything in the world you could possibly want.

But, one mention of that 8 letter name had Javi’s brain flooding with every single doubt, regret, and painful memory of his past that he had fought so hard to forget. It had his mind reeling with every uncomfortable feeling of remembering the man he had been before you had come into his life and changed him for the better. He knew he was a better man. A stronger man. A man who was worthy of the love and compassion you had shown him from the moment you two had met.

Or was he?

“Earth to Javi? Hello? Anyone home?” Waving his hand in front of Javi’s face, Steve stared at Javi in confusion as to why it seemed like his friend had suddenly become lost in his own world as they pulled up to the patch of trees where his ball had most likely landed.

“Uh yeah, uh- what, sorry, um, what did you say?” Javi asked, visibly trying to shake the thoughts from his head, painfully scrunching his face and running his hand through his hair before looking back over at Steve.

“I asked if you were gonna go get the ball or if you just wanted to add to your +200 score and drop one here instead. Hey, you okay, man?” Steve questioned, pausing for a moment before asking the later half of his statement, seeing the color flushed from Javi’s face.

“Uh, yeah- Yeah, sorry, I just, I’m good. I’ll um, I’ll just drop a ball.” Javi muttered half to himself as he stepped out of the cart, barely paying attention enough to even remember what in the world he was even looking for in his golf bag.

If Javi wasn’t already thankful to be on the last hole before Steve’s comment, he sure as hell was now, mindlessly whacking his golf club with no regard as to how his ball made it to the green. Any thoughts about golf, let alone any previous attempts to even try to play well had now flown out the window, creeping thoughts of self doubt and resentment crawling through Javi’s mind. The rest of the round and the entire car ride back to Maria’s were spent in an internal battle ranging in Javi’s brain, the fight between the man he used to be and the man he’d thought he’d become rearing its ugly head with a painful intensity that absolutely felt like it was consuming him whole.

Steve, who was just as oblivious to his friend’s distraught state as he was to the idiocracy of his sarcastic question, had chalked Javi’s quiet and somber mood up to being an overly sore loser after getting mercilessly crushed at golf. Little did he know that his one silly comment had sent Javi spiraling down a trail of crushing self-doubt.

As the pair pulled into the driveway and made their way to the backyard where a few straggling party goers still lingered, trying to monopolize their time with you to get the details of your upcoming plans for the future. Being the attentive and patient person that you were, you were trying your hardest to seem enthused and engaged with in the conversation with who you thought was Javi’s Aunt’s Cousin (at this point, you had been introduced to so many new people, you were questioning your own name), but it wasn’t long before your future husband’s big, broad body entering the backyard had you more than distracted, your face instantly lighting up at the sight of him. Peeking over his Aunt’s cousin (or cousin’s aunt, you weren’t really sure) shoulder, you bit down on your lip to try and contain your excitement, letting a little wave shake from your hand in his direction.

Javi wished that your sweet smile and beautiful self were enough to snap him out of his funk, to see how you beamed in excitement just at the sight of him and shot him that lovestruck look he’d never get sick of- but for some twisted reason, it only made him feel worse.

You were everything- kind, smart, funny, the most breathtaking woman he’d ever seen. But what was he? Tired? Broken? A shitty guy who had done even shitter things, who had left nothing but destruction in his path for years and years, with no regard for who it hurt, or even worse, left for dead? How was he supposed to give you everything you deserved when he sure as fuck didn’t deserve you?

Before you had even said a word to him, you could already sense something was off about Javi’s demeanor that was due to more than just losing to Steve in golf. Even from across the backyard, his forced smile and tired brown eyes had a worried pit swirling in the bottom of your stomach, politely excusing yourself from your conversation to make your way over to Javi.

“Hi! You guys have fun at golf? Steve didn’t kick your ass too bad?” You grinned, wrapping your arms around Javi’s waist, pressing up on your toes to plant a kiss on his lips, his mouth barely ghosting over yours in return.

“Yeah, it was um- yeah, it was fine.” Javi nodded, trying to make a smile appear between his pursed lips. “How was the shower? You uh, you ready for Steve and I to start putting things in the truck to bring over to the new house?”

You immediately frowned in response, cocking your head in confusion at him. “Yeah, it was great, but hey, are- are you okay? You seem really off, like more than just Steve kicking your ass at golf off. Did something happen?”

“No, I’m- yeah, I’m good, Hermosa.” Javi’s eyes darted towards the ground, trying his best to stifle his sigh before another fake smile spread across his face, his response making you even more concerned than you were before, seeing he was clearly lying to you. As much as you wanted to problem solve right then and there to figure out what had Javi so distressed, the calls of one of the last groups of party goers wanting to say their goodbyes rang across the backyard, you flashing them a quick smile and a wave to signal you’d be over in a second. Before you could try and get anything else out of Javi, he had already backed himself away from your hands still tangled around his waist, nodding towards the group of women who were not so patiently waiting for you. “Go say goodbye, I’ll start loading stuff up.”

“Um, I- uh, yeah, o-okay. Thanks.” You murmured, half to yourself, as Javi had already begun to walk away to find Steve to help him start carrying things out to the car, leaving you more anxious and confused with every passing second.

With goodbyes finished, and decor and party setup cleaned up just as fast as Maria had demanded it to be put up, you and Javi made your way to your now packed car, followed by Connie and Steve, who had asked to see the progress on your new house while they were in town. You figured you’d kill two birds with one stone, inviting them over and having them help to unload gifts in the same trip, but now, given the strangely somber mood that Javi couldn’t seem to shake, you really wished it was just the two of you so you could figure out what the hell was going on.

You and Javi piled into his truck, Steve and Connie hopping into theirs and following you down Maria’s street towards your new house. A stark silence filled the car, praying to yourself that maybe Javi just wanted to be alone before he said anything about his current state, but 5 minutes down the road without a single word falling from his lips, you had a devastating feeling that wasn’t going to be the case.

Your leg bounced against the seat, fingers nervously drumming in your lap, letting out a quiet sigh to yourself before looking over at Javi and mustering up the courage to try and interrogate.

“Sooooo, golf was fun? I love ya, but I think it’s probably safe to assume Steve won?” You quietly snickered, trying your best to stay nonchalant.

“Yeah, it was good, Steve won, but that’s no surprise because I suck at golf.” Javi mumbled to himself, barely glancing your direction from behind the yellow tinted aviators perched on the bridge of his nose. Normally, if either of you had something that self-deprecating to say, it was at least followed by some sort of a joke or laugh, but his comment ended with nothing but a stoic silence as his hands gripped tighter around the steering wheel.

“Hey, babe, it’s okay, you don’t ever golf, so it’s hard to expect yourself to be good at something you rarely ever do.” You reached over to grab his arm to reassure him, that unsettling and anxious pit beginning to grow in your stomach again with the way Javi was acting. All he could muster was a half hearted huff in response, signaling to you that whatever was happening was much bigger than a poor game of golf.

“Javi… Baby, what’s going on? Did something happen with Steve?”

“It’s nothing.”

“It’s clearly not nothing, Jav. Did I do something wrong?”

“No, I told you, it’s fine.”

“Javi, it obviously isn’t fine if this is the way you’re acting about it. Why won’t you talk to me about it? I just wanna-”

“I told you, it’s fine, okay!? Jesus, I don’t need you to solve all my problems.”

Oh.

You and Javi had been in arguments before, hell, you’d been in fights before, but never once in the time that you’d known him, had Javi snapped at you like this. You could practically feel yourself recoiling in your seat from the harsh tone of his voice, fighting back the tears that had instantly begun welling in your eyes. You could feel your heart in your throat, choking down a heavy gulp as your lip quivered to try and keep from crying.

What had gone so wrong that Javi was acting like this?

You wish you had it in you to dig it out of him, but as you pulled up the driveway of your new home, Steve and Connie right behind you, ready for a tour, the best you could muster was a quiet, “O-okay.” As soon as the car was in park, Javi was unbuckling his seatbelt and slamming the door behind him, leaving you behind in the car, trying everything in your power to not become a startled, sobbing mess.

Wiping away the wetness pooling behind your eyelids, you swiped the back of your hand against your cheeks, taking a few deep breaths before following behind, mustering up as much courage as you could to keep your cool for however long Steve and Connie were planning to stick around before heading back to San Antonio.

You had hoped that Steve and Connie hadn't picked up on the palpable tension brewing between you and Javi, trying your best to put on a brave face as you paraded the Murphy’s through your nearly completed house. To be quite honest, you couldn’t have recalled anything that had happened in the time that they were there, your mind racing in torment as you watched Javi brood around your new home, barely saying a word to you, let alone make any eye contact, or look in your general direction.

As the four of you made your way upstairs, your attention was finally caught by the low lull of Steve’s laughter as he situated himself between you and Javi, grabbing you both by the shoulders and shaking you in his grasp.

“Well I’ll be damned. Y’all got enough rooms up here to house half a baseball team! You want that many kids driving ya nuts, huh?” Steve chuckled, making his way down the hallway, peeking into the empty bedrooms of your 2nd story.

“Steve!” Connie scolded, slapping the back of her hand against Steve’s stomach for his comment.

“What?! I’m just sayin’! I thought y’all would want like, 2, but there’s enough room for way more than that. I mean, I guess you two are fuckin’ goin’ at it like rabbits all the time, so I can’t really be shocked.”

“Steven Edward Murphy! Jesus Christ!” Connie snapped, shooting Steve a dangerous glare, aggressively raising an eyebrow at her husband as she gestured towards you and Javi.

“No, it’s okay, we don’t know for sure how many we want, but we figured if we had the space we’d add the rooms and even if they’re not bedrooms, they’ll still get used.” You had it in you enough to force a half smile across your face, flashing it at Steve and Connie before looking over at Javi.

While you hadn’t expected much of a response from him given the current situation, what you weren’t expecting was the panic stricken look painting Javi from head to toe.

If you weren’t already worried out of your mind about what the fuck was going on with Javi, you sure as fuck were now.

“Uh, I um- yeah.”

Those were the only words Javi was able to choke out through the audible thumps pounding in his chest as his face went ghost white, eyes peeled to the ground.

“See, Steve? You’re making them uncomfortable! You have absolutely no filter, I swear! I’m so sorry, you guys!” Connie frantically apologized, giving Steve another hardy slap in the stomach, making him wince.

“I’m just jokin’, Jesus Christ, sorry!” Steve grumbled, holding up his hands in defense from his wife’s accusation, sheepishly looking over at you and Javi with a little shrug.

“No, it’s uh- no, it’s fine, don’t worry about it.” You had given up on trying to be convincing at this point, your voice quietly shaking as you stared at Javi, now looking like a terrified, ragged shell of himself.

What the fuck was going on? Did Javi want to wait to have kids? Did he not want to have that many? Was he having second thoughts about kids all together? Fuck, was he having second thoughts about getting married? He’s literally never acted like this before. Fuck, fuck, fuck.

You were sure at this point, you probably looked just as much of a mess as Javi did, letting your thoughts race wildly throughout your brain, the silence now lingering between the four of you now seemed to feel deafening, Connie beginning to pick up on the uneasiness festering between you and Javi and knowing she had enough common sense for her and Steve to pick up her cue to see herself out.

“Well, still, I’m sorry. We should probably get going anyways, we told the sitter we’d be back around 6 so we should probably hit the road. Thank you so much for the tour! The shower was beautiful and I’m so glad I could be there for it. We’ll see you guys for the big day soon! Just let me know if you need any help with wedding stuff between now and then okay?”

“Uh yeah, yeah of course. Thanks for all your help, Con. I’ll um- I’ll let you know if we need anything.” You stammered as Connie pulled you in for a hug goodbye, followed quickly by Steve, who planted a few pats on your back mid hug.

“Bye sweetheart, thanks for letting me steal this asshole for golf today. See y’all when you’re gettin’ ready to get hitched! Adios, loser.” Steve chuckled as he pulled away from your hug to tug Javi into another, giving him an even harder pat on the back before letting Connie say her goodbyes as well.

“Do you want me to walk you guys down to your-”

“Nah, we’ll find our way out, no worries. Bye lovebirds, see ya soon.” Steve grinned, giving the both of you one last wave farewell before disappearing down the stairs, their hushed bickers about Steve’s unnecessary comments quietly trailing behind them. Before you could even get a word out to Javi now that the two of you were alone, he was already halfway down the stairs behind the Murphy’s, not even bothering to look back at you as he mumbled under his breath.

“I’m gonna get the gifts out of the car and go sit outside.”

“Jav, wait, I-”

You could feel the lump beginning to swell in your throat, your bottom lip trembling with tears welling in your eyes as you watched Javi storm down the stairs without even so much as an attempt to care about what you had to say, leaving you with nothing but yourself and 5 empty bedrooms that now had you questioning everything you thought you knew about your future with Javi. You felt your body begin to collapse like a sad pile of jello as you melted into a sobbing puddle on the floor, bringing your knees to your chest as you cried into the flowy fabric of your dress, leaving wet stains behind from your tears. Your breaths were rapid and shaky with each muffled sob, trying to rationally grasp on to something, anything, as to why Javi was acting this way. But the more the gears frantically turned in your brain, the more irrational and terrifying your thoughts became.

This all happened so fucking fast. It’s only been a year since I’ve known him. Is he realizing it’s too much? Am I too much? This was all too fucking good to be true, wasn’t it, you fucking idiot.

Taking a few more minutes to collect yourself enough to at least stop full on sobbing, you wiped your wet cheeks with the back of your palm, inhaling a trembling deep breath as you mustered up every ounce of courage you could find to face whatever fate was waiting for you downstairs with Javi.

Each step down the stairs felt heavier than the last, leaving your fingers anxiously drumming against your legs as you saw Javi’s broad body hunched over the side of the unfinished back patio, staring out to the tall grass of your backyard swaying in the warm summer breeze. If it were any other time, you would have rushed up behind him, wrapping your body around his back and attacking him with kisses until the two of you were wound up in a fit of laughter and giggles, happily tangled in each other's bodies.

Right now, you were terrified to even step too close to him.

Carefully and quietly sliding open the glass door to the porch, you prayed with every bone in your body you weren’t going to do anything that set Javi off enough to even let you attempt to have a conversation with him about what was going on. The new wood softly creaked under your shoes, making Javi turn his head just enough to acknowledge your presence as you wearily approached him. Taking one more deep breath, you opened your mouth to speak, but with your jaw hanging open, Javi’s words filled the stark silence before yours could.

“I don’t know if we should get married.”

Fuck.

You could practically feel your heart sink to the bottom of your stomach, like the weight of 1,000 bricks had been dropped on your body all at once, hearing that come out of his mouth. You could have mentally tried to brace yourself for a lot of things, but hearing Javi tell you he didn't want to get married anymore sure as hell wasn't one of them.

“Javi, I- baby, what- I don’t- I don’t-”

“Why the fuck do you even wanna marry me?”

Your brows scrunched in pain and confusion at the sharp tone of his words, desperate to try and understand what point he was trying to prove in this gut wrenching game he seemed to be playing.

“Because I- Javi, I- Javi I love you, that’s why.” you murmured, your voice barely above a whisper as you sat down next to him on the edge of the porch, leaning over enough to see the tears glistening down his cheeks, his eyes red and puffy as he tried to stifle the sobs rumbling in his chest. He shook his head back and forth before his gaze fell into his lap.

“You shouldn’t love me.”

“Javi… what the fuck are you talking about?” you plead, feeling the pain and hurt creeping through your body as you watched the tears he was so desperately trying to fight. With a scornful scoff, Javi shook his head, pressing against his knees to stand, taking a few paces around the porch, burying his hands in his face, his words muffled and muted by his palms covering his mouth.

“What the fuck am I- I’m not- I’m not what you deserve. I don’t understand how you don’t fucking see that.”

You followed suit, bringing yourself to stand with your arms crossed tightly across your chest, staring at Javi in bewilderment, biting down on your tongue so hard to keep from bursting into tears you thought you were going to make it bleed. You could feel the storm of pain, anger and confusion brewing deep in the pit of your stomach, your body numb and mind blank.

“Javier. What the fuck is going on? I don’t understand why-”

“Because last time I was gonna get married I fucked up everything. For everyone. I hurt everyone I cared about. I went half way around the world and I spent a decade fucking things up even more. How do you know I’m not gonna fuck everything up again? I love you too much to let it happen to you. The thought of ever hurting you even half as I much as I’ve hurt anyone else because of my choices fucking kills me. I can’t do it. I can’t hurt you like I’ve hurt everyone else. I’d never fucking forgive myself. I love you more than anything, Osita. I love you more than anything in the world. You deserve someone who isn’t going to hurt you. Someone who will do right by you, by your family, your future children, I just- fuck- I don’t think that person can be me.”

A deafening silence hung in the air as you stared blankly at Javi, tears streaming from his tormented brown eyes, his body trembling with devastation and regret. You had no doubt your body mirrored his as the guilt and heartbreak flooded you from head to toe, wondering how in the world you had ever let the man you loved and cared about more than anything feel like he wasn’t enough for you.

You wished you could speak- to find the words to tell him that he was your everything, the glue that had put you back together when you were convinced there was nothing else that could mend the broken mess that you had become. You wished you could express to him that there was no one on the face of this earth that you would rather spend the rest of your life with than him- that there was no one else you wanted by your side through every moment of your life, the good, the bad and the ugly, more than him. You wished there was a way to tell him that you loved him more than anything, but in that moment, all you could do was grab him and wrap your arms around his waist, squeezing him as tightly as your body would let you, letting your wet face rest against the familiar warmth of his chest as you whispered into the soft fabric of his shirt.

“Javier Peña, you’re the only person it could be.”

You could feel his chest begin to rumble with heavy sobs as his arms draped around you, pulling you against his body so closely, it was like his life depended on it, like he couldn’t bear the thought of ever letting you go again. One arm stayed wrapped around your back as the other slid up the back of your neck, his broad palm cradling your head in his grasp, his fingers practically digging into your skin to keep you close as the two of you let yourselves do nothing but hold each other in your teary silence.

You let one of your hands reach up towards Javi’s face, cupping his jaw and forcing his gaze back on to you, as your thumb traced back and forth along his cheek, wiping away the wetness that had been welling in his eyes.

“I need you to listen to me, okay?” You asked, waiting until you felt Javi’s head gently nod up and down in understanding in your palm before you continued, “The man you were before doesn’t scare me. If it did, I would have been gone a long time ago. The man you were before has turned you into the man that you’ve become. The man that I want to spend everyday with for the rest of my life. Every good day, every bad day, every painful, hard and shitty day, and every day in between. And I promise that I will spend every last one of those days until the day I die trying my best to convince you that you are the best thing that’s ever happened to me. And if I die trying, then so be it. I love you, Javi. Don’t you ever think for a second that there is anyone out there that I want to spend the rest of my life with more than you, and I won’t ever let you forget it.”

It was only moments before both of Javi’s hands were cradling your face, gently trembling as they cupped your soft, wet skin as you locked eyes with his, watching his face shift from terrified to bewildered, thinking he must have misheard what you had just said to him.

“Osita, I-”

“Promise me.”

“Promise you what?”

“Promise me that you believe me. Promise me that you know I love you more than anything.”

There was a part of Javi’s brain that wished he could find something to prove that he couldn’t. To prove he wasn’t worthy of keeping the promise you had made to him. To convince himself that he had no reason to believe he was worthy of the love you had given him.

But the truth was, for the first time that he could remember, as he looked down at you, the woman who had taken his life and forever changed it for the better, who had helped to heal him in ways he didn’t know he needed, who had cared for him in ways he never thought he deserved, and who had stood by him even as you learned about the ugliest parts of him he never thought he’d forgive himself for, Javier Peña finally realized he had learned what it was like to be worthy of love.

You had made him realize he was worthy of being loved.

A small gulp slid down his throat between his shaky breaths, taking a moment to soak in everything about you, before letting his lips ghost across yours as a quiet whisper left his mouth.

“I promise.”

And just like that, his lips crashed into yours with a ferocious and tender passion, soaking in every ounce of the sweet flavor of you, a taste he knew he would never tire of, one that he craved like nothing else.

“I love you, Osita. Fuck, I love you so much.” Javi moaned between your kisses, praying with every bone in his body you knew how much he meant it.

“I love you too, Javi.” The hot breath of your words danced across his lips before they were crashing together once again, his tongue swiping between your parted mouths as he ran his hand down your back and around your waist, pulling you so close you were convinced your bodies were going to melt into one as you pressed against his broad chest, now needily grasping at fist fulls of his shirt.

In that moment, it was like the two of you could feel something in the air change. The tension lifting, the frustrated fog fading, the both of you desperately needing the other to know how much you loved them. The Javi you knew and loved had come back, returning home to you. All of the fear and sadness was replaced by a rampant desperation to know how much you needed him, almost as much as he needed to show you how hopelessly he craved you, too.

With your bodies still tangled together, your kisses became messier and sloppier as you backed your way towards the door that lead inside, stumbling and trampling over each other’s feet without any regard for where you were headed until you felt your back bump against the kitchen island, the rounded edges of the countertop stopping you in your tracks as Javi caged you between his broad figure and the island.

Both of your hands were now feverishly roaming across each other’s bodies before Javi had run his hands down your thighs, hoisting you up to sit on the countertop, planting hot, wet kisses across your neck and collarbone while his fingers crept under the hem of your dress, his palms sliding up and down your legs, digging his fingers into your flesh.

“Javi…” You whimpered, letting your eyes close and head fall back as he sucked at your pulse point, leaving you with one hand bracing yourself against the edge of the counter and the other with your fingers wrapped around the navy fabric of Javi’s shirt, clinging on for dear life.

You eyes opened, and gaze shifted downwards as you felt Javi pull away from your grasp, watching him drop to his knees, slotting himself between your parted legs and kissing the inside of your thighs while his hands tugged at the waistband of your already soaked underwear, hastily shuffling them to fall down your legs and pool at your ankles. His needy kisses up your thighs crept closer and closer to your core as your legs draped over his shoulders, kneeling before you like you were the altar of everything he worshiped as his deep brown eyes looked up at yours, like he was begging for forgiveness for his sins.

“I’m so sorry, Osita. I’m so sorry for what I said. I didn’t mean it. Fuck, I love you so much. Let me show me how much I love you. Please, baby. Please let me show you how much I need to be yours.”

Your response was nothing but a ragged moan as you felt his hot breath hovering over your cunt before letting long, flat licks of his tongue drag through your folds, each swipe pressing firmer than the last, lapping up the arousal dripping from your entrance like a sweet nectar. With one hand still white knuckling the edge of the countertop, the other shot down to bury itself in the dark curls of Javi’s thick locks, tugging at ends to find some place to ease your tension as he began to flick and swirl his tongue relentlessly against your clit, lapping you up like a man starved.

“Oh fuck Javi- fuck- you feel so good, baby.” You moaned, raking your fingers along Javi’s scalp as you watched his head bob nestled between your legs, feeling the low hum of satisfaction thrumming in his throat as he began to suck your sensitive bundle of nerves, latching his lips around your clit as his mouth worked feverishly against your cunt. You could already feel the tingle beginning to grow at the base of your spine and spread to your legs as Javi found every sweet spot that he knew made you lose all control, desperate to make you feel how much he needed your love and forgiveness.

“That’s it, sweet girl. Let go for me baby, I’ve got you.” Javi hummed before diving back between your legs, tightening his grip around your thighs as his tongue danced around your clit relentlessly. It wasn’t long before you could feel your orgasm begin to flood your body, pleasure crashing through you as you cried out his name, a death grip clutching around the counter and Javi’s dark locks. Javi worked you through your high, drinking up the juices of your slick as you came, feeling your legs tremble as they stayed slung over his broad shoulders, not stopping until your body was shaking and your whimpers and moans had become so wrecked, he had no choice but to stop to relish in the blissed out, dripping mess he had made you. He would have loved to stay like this forever, watching you become more and more wrecked beneath his tongue, the want, no, need, to be buried inside your heat, getting lost in your wetness and warmth, savoring in the way no one else would ever be able to have you like he did, to know that you were his.

Javi worked in a determined silence, rusting with his belt buckle until the metal clangs of it opening had his pants and boxers in a puddle around his ankles, splaying kisses across your neck as he slid you towards the edge of the counter, his fingers digging into your hips with a bruising intensity. He stroked himself a few times as he lined his cock up with your entrance, guiding his tip through the glistening arousal covering your folds, leaving his dick shiny with your slick as you whimpered into his skin.

“Javi… Please, baby. I need you.” You whimpered, instinctively bucking your hips towards him, desperately craving him to ease the achy emptiness between your legs.

Resting his forehead against yours, the dark, damp curls of his hair brushed your skin, the hot and heavy heat of each of your shaky breaths melting into one another’s as your lips ghosted his, only fully meeting yours to catch the moan that had escaped your mouth as he pushed himself into your heat, letting himself bottom out, his tip brushing against your cervix. You couldn’t help but wrap your legs around the small of his back and drape your arms over his shoulders, desperate to have your bodies needily tangled and intertwined together as you savored in the sweet sting and stretch of his fullness.

He began to rock his hips, letting his cock drag in and out of your cunt, taking his time with each stroke, the movement making you dig your fingernails into the fabric of his shirt stretched over his muscular back, in turn, making the grip he had around your waist even tighter, his fingers buried in the soft flesh of your stomach where his hands had crept under your dress.

The way he punched up into you, perfectly pounding against your g-spot with each thrust, combined with the way the hairs at his base rubbed along your clit, already had the inevitable coil beginning to tighten in your belly. You dug your nails deeper into Javi’s skin, grasping for the damp curls at the nape of his neck, your whimpers growing louder and more desperate with each stroke as you could feel yourself beginning to crumble beneath him.

Each stroke seemed to become deeper and fuller than the last, Javi’s pace now climbing in speed and intensity as he felt your cunt clench tighter and tighter around his cock, knowing that familiar feeling meant you were coming closer to your end. You could barely muster anything but a whimper, your soft pleads and begs going straight to his dick as he slid and out of your wet heat.

“Fuck baby, don’t stop- ahhhh- please don’t stop, I’m so close.”

The lewd sounds of skin hitting skin and low, ragged moans echoed against the bare walls of your unfinished kitchen as Javi fucked deeper and deeper into you, singing sweet, soft praises against your skin between locking your lips with yours.

“Fuck- Dámelo, Hermosa (Give it to me, beautiful). Need to feel you soak my cock before I fuck you full of me. It’s okay mi amor- mierda- té tengo. (my love- shit- I’ve got you.) I’ve always got you. Forever.”

You could feel your legs lock even tighter around Javi’s waist as heat began to bloom in your belly, only needing a few more thrusts as you rolled your hips against his before your mind went blank and vision went white, your orgasm crashing through your body and flooding every inch of you with pleasure so intense, you could feel yourself going limp in his grasp.

“Fuck, Javi, fuck, fuck, fuck, oh my god-ahhhhhhhh-” You whimpered as Javi fucked you through your high, now desperate to chase his own as his thrusts became rushed and sloppy, pounding into you as your walls gripped around his cock like a vice. Your warmth and wetness consumed him, only needing a few more pumps before he could feel himself following suit, hissing through gritted teeth as incoherent babbles spilled from his lips.

“There it is, baby. Fuck- fuck, you’re so fucking perfect. I love you so much, Osita. Con todo mi corazón. (With my whole heart). Oh fuck- I’m yours forever. Oh shit, I’m gonna cum to, oh fuckkkkkk.”

With one last thrust, Javi finished buried deep inside you, hot ropes of his cum coating your walls as a slick mixture of spend leaked down your thighs, leaving him panting while he slumped into your shoulder, his chest heaving with labored breaths, trying to compose himself. Bracing himself with one palm flat against the counter next to your hip, his other hand reached up to your face, brushing away a piece of stray hair back into place before gently cupping your cheek as he spoke.

“Osita, baby, I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry. I love you so much. I didn’t mean what I said earlier, I just- fuck- I’ve never been so sure of anything, but when we were at golf today, Steve brought up Lorraine, and I- I just was so scared I was gonna fuck everything up again, and I-”

“Oh God, he brought up Lorraine?! Jesus. I knew it. I knew this was Steve’s fucking fault.” You sighed, quietly laughing to yourself as you shook your head.

“Wait, how did you-”

“Because it just seemed so strange that you were acting like this all of a sudden. You got back from golfing with him and it was like you were a different person. I mean, I’m not gonna lie, I was freaked out and panicking wondering what happened because you’ve never acted like that before. That, and because I love Steve, but he’s an idiot.” The two of you were both now laughing, Javi rubbing his hand over his face before rolling his eyes, wondering to himself how he had really let his friend’s stupid comment get the best of him.

“I’m so sorry, Osita. I should have just ignored it, I just hadn’t thought about it in so long and I was so terrified to mess everything up again. It would kill me to hurt you like that.” His thumb circled around your cheek as he tilted your gaze to meet his, sincerity and remorse swirling in the dark pools of his chocolate brown eyes.

“Javi, listen, if this is moving too fast, or it’s too much for you, I want you to be able to tell me, I understand if-” Before you could finish your sentence, Javi’s lips were planted tenderly against yours, pulling away from your mouth with a goofy grin and satisfied sigh.

“I promise you, I’ve never wanted anything more. I can’t wait to spend the rest of my life with you. I can’t wait to marry you,” he leaned in, pressing a quick kiss on your cheek, “I can’t wait to live in our new house with you,” he grinned, planting another ticklish kiss on your neck, “I can’t wait until we can finally start filling up these empty rooms with little baby Peñas” Javi chuckled, now peppering kisses all over your body, making you erupt in a fit of laughter and giggles, squirming and flailing in his grasp, playfully swatting at him. “I can’t wait to spend every day for the rest of my life with the most beautiful, amazing woman I’ve ever met.” He smirked, tilting his head to let your mouths meet again, this kiss filled with a tender passion and intensity unmatched by his previous playful ones.

It was the kind of kiss that said all of the things that words couldn’t. The kind of kiss that had butterflies fluttering in your stomach like the first kiss you had shared in Maria’s bathroom almost a year ago. The kind of kiss that made you fall even deeper in love with him, even when you thought you couldn’t.

It was also the kind of kiss where everything else in the world seemed to melt away and make time stand still, a kiss that you could have stayed lost in forever… unless a certain someone hadn’t forgotten his wallet at your house and needed to come back and get it.

You were so oblivious to anything else happening around you, that neither you or Javi had heard your front door open, followed by the rushed, impatient footsteps of Steve and Connie, arguing about where Steve could have left his wallet, and how on earth he could have left without realizing it was missing from its usual home in his back pocket.

“Seriously, Steve, I can’t believe we’re gonna waste a whole hour having to turn around and come back here because you couldn’t remember your wallet!”

“Con, I told you, it’s right on the counter, I know where it is, lemme just go grab it really quick and then we ca- Oh Jesus fucking Christ!” Steve shouted, walking into the kitchen to see you and Javi making out on your island, your dress pushed up well past your legs, and Javi’s bare ass on display from his pants still pooling around his ankles.

“Ahhhhh!” You and Javi shrieked, practically jumping out of your skin to see Steve’s tall and lanky frame frozen in your kitchen, now scrambling to try and fix your clothes and hair to try and save yourselves at least some dignity.

“What the hell are you two doin’?!” Steve grimaced, trying not to cackle to himself as Connie rushed up behind him to see what was happening, only to very quickly cover her eyes and turn away from you and Javi.

“Us?! What the hell are you doing here? Jesus, you ever heard of fucking knocking, Murph?!” Javi groaned, shuffling his pants back up and fixing his hair before helping you off the counter, trying your best to hide your beet red, embarrassed face.

“I forgot my wallet! Forgive me for thinkin’ you two would keep your hands off each other for long enough to let me come pick it up in peace.” Steve frowned, raising up his hands in defense.

“I’m sorry! I told him to call you to let you know he was coming to pick it up, but he seemed to think it wasn’t a big deal.” Connie scolded, giving Steve a forceful nudge of her elbow before finally turning back around to face you and Javi, knowing you were at least halfway decent. “God, I love you, but you are an idiot.”

“You can say that again…” You snickered under your breath, just loud enough to make Javi and Connie join in your laughter, leaving Steve with his arms crossed over his chest, rolling his eyes in annoyance.

“Hey, listen. Call me what you want, but I don’t think you’ll be callin’ me an idiot when you need me to come babysit your 47 kids so the two of you can get some…” He paused gesturing to you and Javi’s disheveled state, “... time to yourselves. Like I said earlier, y’all gotta lot of rooms to fill, and I don’t think you’re gonna have any problem doin’ it.”

And for as much as you wanted to give Steve the ten pounds of shit he deserved, as you looked up at Javi standing next to you, you couldn’t really even bring yourself to be mad. Because in the end, the only thing that mattered was him- the man you were going to spend the rest of your life with. The one who was your future, the one who stood with you through every twist and turn, the one who was your home. What started as a day that had you questioning everything had turned into one that had never made you feel more assured. You knew that Javier Peña loved you more than life itself, and you knew that you were so lucky to spend the rest of your life getting to prove to him over and over that you loved him just as much.

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@cool-iguana @rhoorl @whyjuliaaa @bbiophiliaa @pertinentpostmortem @angelofsmalldeath-codeine @pedrobaby @fatima-marisa @beboldbebravethings @poodlebae @kittenlittle24 @3sriracha @jungchloee @perennialdoll247 @prettyinpunk85 @partyofone3413 @harriedandharassed @pedrohoe04 @theorganasolo @endlessthxxghts @beware-my-thorns @missladym1981 @messinadress @milly-louise @jay-zzle @the-one-with-the-grey-color @persephone-girl @bitchesuntitled @pedropascallvr @millennial-teenybopper @nastiasnow @vee-bees-blog @hopplessilse @mxtokko @its-nebuleuse @mandoisapunk @msmorningstaarr

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gavisuntiedboot · 1 year

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Friends with benefits! Pedri 🥰🥰

I just love avoiding sleep don't I? Here we go.

~~~

"I told you not to call me when I was busy."

"You wouldn't pick up at 1:30 in the morning if you didn't want to speak to me, angel."

You tried your best to suppress your smirk, opting to roll your eyes instead so that the Canarian could see your feigned annoyance.

"I'm curious - sue me. Now what do you want to I can hang up in your face and get back to studying? These kinematics aren't going to enter my brain just by staring at them."

"You know what I want."

This little "arrangement" with Pedri had been going on for the better part of a year now. It started off as a summer fling: you were heartbroken by a long-time boyfriend, and he was tired of Instagram models spreading his messages to every gossip site that would pay a Euro. So when he met you at the coffee shop where you worked, soft spoken and hands trembling as you punched in his order, he knew that you were going to be the most fun project yet. And boy was it a project. Between school and work, you barely had a second to breathe, and all the things he did to seduce other girls (dinner, clubbing, tickets to a match) seemed to have no place in your schedule. But Pedri is a patient boy, and after receiving variations of the "I'm so stressed and tired and home alone" text, he knew the only way he was going to get what he wanted was to go to you.

And come he did. Well, both of you did. The buildup and flirtation had led to some of the most mind blowing sex he had ever had. He never even thought about wanting to corrupt a sweet, innocent little thing until you. The tears on your lashes as you looked up at him, his soul sucked out of his body with you asking "did I do good?" was a combination he would like to inject directly into his veins. So that was the arrangement from thereon out. He had told you he didn't have the time or capacity for a committed relationship because of his job, but if you were down to keep doing this, then so was he. And honestly? The thought was appealing. You were swamped with responsibilities, with no time to breathe let alone try and go on dates and be a girlfriend. Why not just have mind-blowing sex semi-regularly?

Turns out, this fucker got a lot hornier a lot more often when injured. Since there were no games or early morning training sessions, Pedri had been calling you almost nightly during his injury, often coming over just for the company. It would be a lie if you said it was unwelcome, but you still had a life and tasks to complete.

"Pedri, I have-"

"The day off tomorrow. You told me that last week, so don't lie."

"Right. I have a reading day at school and I took off from work to study. I need to get like a 98 on this exam to get an A in the course."

"Maybe I wanted to call you and help you study."

His face lit up as he heard your laughter come through the line. He knew he had been clingier than usual lately, and a wiser person would have questioned why he wanted to spend all of his free recovery time with his sex buddy. Put Pedri wasn't wise. He was 21 years old with a cute girl who was DTF and he had her address saved into his phone.

"So I'll be there in...?" He let his voice trail off, and your sigh came through clearly.

"I need an hour at least to finish this chapter."

"Perfect. I'll shower and head to you."

You had not even closed your laptop yet when the doorbell rang, causing you to jump slightly at the loud sound at such a late hour. In your PJ shorts and tank top, you scurried to the door, ushering in your boy toy before the others in your building could see. Mrs. Rodriguez 3 doors down loved a good scandal, and you weren't going to be the one to cause it.

"Took you long enough." You said, pushing him towards the bed as soon as he kicked off his shoes.

"Eager now aren't we, angel? I haven't even said hello yet."

"There are better things for you to be doing with your mouth."

"Oh yeah? Like what?"

"I don't know, Pedri. This whole get together was your idea. You have to take charge."

What famous last words. Not even 15 minutes later, he had you digging into the wood of your headboard, hips moving with reckless abandon as you rode his face. Your pants and moans came as if it wasn't three in the morning, and he wrapped himself around your thighs to bring you closer, closer, closer whenever you dared to hover or lift your weight slightly. One you had finish, you dismounted and laid next to him, aftershocks wrecking through you. He smirked, propped up on one arm as he watched you struggle.

"Do you want to go back to studying?"

"Fuck you."

He rolled on top of you, smiling wide and leaning back so the dim light could reflect off the wetness on his hard cock.

"Oh no, baby. You'll never get a good grade like that. The grammatically correct way is, "I want to fuck you." And you can add a 'Please' at the end if you're feeling polite."

Pedri was concerned to get a call from you three days after your little session. You had blocked his number so that you could focus on your last exam, and he expected you to be gone for longer.

"Hello?"

"I got my exam grade back."

Your voice was mellow, and he mentally stilled himself, preparing to be yelled at first thing in the morning. He didn't want you to fail, of course. It's just something there were things personally more important to him than your grades.

"And?"

"I needed a 98% for an A." Your voice was still flat and gave nothing away.

"Right. And you got...?"

"I got a 98.5%." Pedri shot up from his mattress.

"So that means that we'll be fucking intensely during your next round of exams, right?"

~~~~~~~~~

Okay here you go! fun fact this is based on me irl when i slept over at a guy's place and then the next day got a 99 on my exam. Enjoy!!!!!!

#gavisuntiedboot #gavisuntiedbootasks #fc barca #pedri #pedri one shot #pedri x reader #pedri imagine #pedri smut #pedri x reader smut #pedri gonzalez imagine #pedri fanfic #football smut

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svmjaeyvn · 7 months

Text

love maze, s.jy.

chapter one pairing: jake x afab!reader word count: tbd (series)

masterlist

add yourself to the taglist here!

genre: college!au, mutual friends, fake dating, smut.

synopsis: an unfortunate encounter, drunken mistakes, and a sort of (definitely) stalker leads jake sim ‘dating’ his best friend’s childhood crush.

or, your life gets intertwined with a rich boy’s in attempt to not get sued by his crazy personal fangirl and like with all good cliches, sex overcomplicates things.

contents: smut, sort of strangers to fuck buddies to lovers pipeline, childhood best friend!jay, mentions of best friend! yunjin, curly haired & mixed reader, uni!au, rich nepo baby!jake, enha frat boys, lots of kissing, fake dating turning into fwb real quick, totally way too into it for it to be fake early on, big booty reader that’s jake’s obsessed with, partying and alcohol use, slight violence, he fell first and harder trope, stem bf & writer gf, (kinda overly) possessive jake, some angst to spice things up, daddy issues, hyper independent reader who struggles with her feelings, fluff and happy ending!!

a/n: hello~ i’ve never been a tumblr girly but i have went through my w*ttpad era back in 2018 so bare with me y’all. this will be a series but not that long (i hope) so pls look forward to it. warning tags will be placed before each “chapter” to specify what to expect. pls pls reblog and interact, i’d love to have feedback and see what your thoughts are. okay! yay, for now enjoy and thank you sm :D

MDNI, 18+

tap below to continue

CHAPTER ONE: PINEAPPLE

masterlist next

word count: 2.5k

warnings: alcohol, partying, creeper in a store, bestie jay, already stepping up to be a fake bf jake duhhh

a/n: short and sweet intro

"HEY SORRY, JAY's busy—”

"Hey baby!" You smile brightly, attempting to seem causal but emphasizing the conversation rather loudly. Wandering through the isles aimlessly, stopping to pretend to browse the selection of cereals while peeking through the corner of your eye, you keep watch on the unfamiliar man that seemed to be following you.

You've been at the store for 15 minutes, around 10 of those ago you noticed the same man over and over, passing by each other with first polite smiles which morphed into a sort of anxiety feeling on your end noting how he began to linger around more obviously, far enough away to not seem suspicious to those around but definitely setting off an alarm in your head to stay alert.

It was a Friday night, after finishing up with your last minute shift due to a coworker calling out, you decided it was time to finally grocery shop, something that you've been putting off all week due to laziness but now you wished you opted to eat eggs for the third day in a row rather than be here. Typically, you and Yunjin went to the store together, but with her out on a date, that left you alone for the night.

"We're still cooking for dinner right? I'm at the store right now picking stuff up," You continue after meeting confused silence on the other end. Due to the increasing gut feeling and you desperate for someone to come to your aid in at least knowing where you were if you did end up missing and on the news, you called the only person you knew in the area that would come. Jay Park, an extended family friend that you practically grew up attached to each others hips, had followed you along to the same Uni two years ago. With a three hour car ride being the distance to your home town, you and Jay depended on each other as a sort of familiarity and unspoken acknowledgment that there was support for one another.

University created a sort of distance in your relationship, both studying different majors and finding your own friend groups outside of one another but you still talked every other day through text and hung out occasionally. Jay, being a well know frat boy around campus, became a sort of gossip topic of him and his other frat members. His admittedly attractive looks that he grew into helping with his popularity along with his love for the party scene.

You on the other hand, were a home body more than anything. After your first year, you had moved into an apartment about 5 minutes away off-campus with your previous dorm-mate and newly founded best friend. You and Yunjin became close relatively fast and being able to get through freshmen year living together in the tiny space meant you'd work perfectly well moving in a place where you both got your own rooms and a private bathroom.

Thus, your routine consisted of lectures, homework, your part-time job, and sleep. It was quiet and comfortable. Not that you were opposed to a night out and getting drunk off your ass every once in a while but being a party girl didn't seem like your cup of tea to do every weekend.

"Sorry, ___ it's Jake. I don't know where Jay is, he just left his phone with me earlier," Jake speaks into the phone, making his way out of the booming house to better hear her. The muffled music and loud voices heard from his end causing a slight panic to rise in your stomach but also nearly face palm. It's a Friday night, of course he was partying.

You rake your brain to put a face to the name. You've met Jay's frat friends on occasion, though they mostly consisted of when you were all drunk so it was sort of a blur.

"Yeah I'm at Target," You nod, specifying your location and hoping that whoever Jake was, he was sober enough to comprehend that something was wrong and that he'd remember your words. "Do you want anything else specifically?" From the corner of your eye, you can see the man beginning to pace, seemingly growing antsy with waiting on you to move. Deciding it was best to make your way toward the front where more workers would be, you completely disregard your near empty cart and pushed it along while holding your phone to your ear.

"... Are you okay?" Jake inquires, his brows burrowed together in confusion but feeling the underlying feeling of the call. The only reason he answered was because he knew you and Jay were close, having met less than a handful of times but the contact picture Jay saved you under allowed him to remember who you were. The three spammed messages you sent prior to your call being unable to be read due to his phone being locked. He intended to only inform you of the reason the said boy wouldn't respond for a while but it ended up to this rather weird conversation.

"Uh... no I don't think so," You answer, acting as if you were responding to a question. Jake straightens up slightly, unaware if that was an actual answer or if you were still on the one sided random talk through the phone. He sort of hoped it was the second option for your sake. "Okay I'll look. I'm sure they have pineapple,"

Jay was an overprotective guy, especially when it came to those he cared about. Early on, whenever they'd go out, he told everyone that their emergency code word was pineapple. Jake, along with the other boys, found it utterly ridiculous and never once had to actually use it but he did remember the word loud and clear even months later. The conversation was far too random and specific for you to just casually be saying that, and thus Jake assumed the safe word was something Jay used universally.

"You're at the store in town right?" He asks, now heading back into the house, weaving his way through the bodies in search of his friends.

"Yeah," You nod disregarding that he couldn't see it. There was two Targets in the area you lived it, though one was undeniably farther away from the University. In town referred to the one you stood in, absentmindedly staring at the electronics assuming there had to be more cameras in this area. "Okay, well, I'll be home soon then,"

"Give me ten minutes," Jake said into the phone before handing up the call, not giving you time to respond. Scrunching up your nose, you felt significantly smaller without the comfort of another voice on the other line. From the opposite isle, you could see the man lingering around the corner, now staring directly at you but quickly looking away upon making eye contact.

With a slight pit in your stomach, you take a second to breathe. Attempting to seem inconspicuous, you glance over your items and visibly pale. The only things consisted of body wash, a bag of lemons, and ice cream bars that were now melting. You had circled the food department a near three times and hadn't picked up much even though you made it rather clear on the call you were meant to be getting dinner. Silently praying that the man wasn't keen enough to pay that much attention, you shake off the shiver that ran down your spine.

Meanwhile, Jake ran through the house collecting his friends one by one. Luckily, with it being only 7:30 and rather early in the night, no one was near hammered yet, barely started on a buzz when he interrupted. Not much was shared in the process, the urgent way Jake pulled them along was enough for them to follow but Heeseung finally questioned it once they were packed in the car driving away from their own party.

"Where we going man?" The eldest asked, running a hand through his hair lazily.

Jake, being the only one with less than half a bottle of beer in, was in the driver seat. He drove fast, weaving through the lanes occasionally but still safe enough to not seem suspicious.

He glanced back at Jay through the rearview mirror, said boy tilting his head back in confusion. "___ called you, she's having an issue. Said something about pineapple and wasn't having an actual conversation with me so I'm assuming someone was following her,"

Jay straightened up, leaning closer from his seat while the other two spared glances. "When?"

"Right before I went to find you, told her to give me 10 minutes," Jake answers, partially relieved that Jay seemed concerned by the matter meaning he interpreted the call correctly but that only meant you were actually in trouble. "It's been 6,"

"Drive faster," Was all the other boy said, the few shots of liquor seemingly gone as he sobered up almost instantly. Though, the panic and overwhelming anger that brewed in the back of his head indicated that he was being influenced by the intoxication. Not that it would be a problem, especially if you were in danger of some sort.

Heeseung and Sunghoon sat quietly as Jake drove, connecting the dots for themselves due to the conversation. A minute later, the four were barreling out of the car and into the building. The bright lights contrasted against the dark outside, the boys looking around for sight of the girl.

"Give me my phone," Jay tells Jake, holding out his hand expectantly while he pulls it out of his back pocket. Tapping through the screen for a moment, Jay hold up the device to his ear waiting for you to answer but it goes to voicemail.

"She was talking about food so maybe she was over there?" Jake offers, leading the way toward the back of the store which held all the groceries.

Jay tries once more, holding the phone up as it dials. This time, there's the faint chime of an incoming call that was further away. Sunghoon nodded in the direction it came from, heading toward the area which consisted of books, music, and other miscellaneous things.

"No, thank you, I'm alright," Your voice was recognized first by Jay. Speeding up his steps, he rounds the corner to see you backed away toward the far end of the isle, the cart in between you and an unfamiliar man who had his back toward the four. Your eyes widened seeing the familiar face, slightly relieved but still in a sense of panic considering the man that was following you grew the courage a minute ago to actually say something now, keeping you tucked away in the corner as he did.

Attempting to step away, you shift to the right but the man matched your movement, staying directly in your path and blocking it. Moving to your left, he matched that as well causing you to purse your lips. He smiled, seeming as if it were amusing to see you becoming undone with his actions which sent a chill up your spine. Aside from his creepy stalking, he seemed and looked like a regular guy, which made it even worse because of how normal he seemed upon first glance.

"Teenie," Jay spoke up, making his and the rest of their presence known, using a nickname rather than your actual one. The guy turned at the sound, his face morphing from the smile into one of annoyance, a clear grimace on his features at the interruption. "Come here," The space between where you stood and Jay was a couple of feet, having to go around the man in the process as he had backed you into the wall moments ago.

Expecting for him to allow you to move without resistance this time, you go to step around him but he still continues to block your way. Going as far as grabbing hold of your arm causing your eyes to widen and pull back instantly. The anxiety that grew in your stomach elevated significantly, it was wishful thinking that having four grown and tall men would have the single one back down but it seemed he was crazy enough to not care about that.

"Stop being a fucking creep dude," Heeseung spoke up, growing rather frustrated and particularly peeved that he had the audacity to grab you. If they hadn't shown up he couldn't imagine what he'd attempt.

"We're not done talking," The man sneers, the tone of his voice causing the hairs on your neck to stand up, goosebumps forming along your skin though your body felt like it was burning up inside. "You the boyfriend?" He adds, nodding toward Jay who faltered, confused by the sudden question.

Jake lets out a small sigh, growing tired of the back and forth. Stepping forward, he holds out his hand to you without a word. Now a mere foot apart, he stares down the guy, almost taunting him in attempt to do something. Quickly, your hand latches onto his, albeit clammy from your nervousness but as he pulled you into his side, you felt significantly safer than before.

Tucking you behind him, Jake walks you both back a few steps, returning to the rest who had moved up closer. Still holding tight onto Jake's hand, you grasp onto his arm as well, holding it as if it were a security blanket and would make everything better.

"I am," Jake answers, taking the rest of you by surprise. His fib was believable, you clinging to his side playing the part and the boys merely went along with it. "We done here?"

The man didn't say a word, the silent stare down that occurred between Jake and him more than enough. Finally, he looked away, accepting there wasn't anything he could do to win in this. Whatever that was. Turning around, Jake began to lead you away, not bothering to look back as the other three followed behind, ensuring he stayed in place as they went.

You let out a shakey sigh, deeming it far enough away as you could see the exit. Feeling the ever-growing tears weld in your eyes, a few began to slip from the corners painting soft streaks down the apples of your cheeks. Silently, Jake allowed for Jay to pull you into his embrace, presuming having the one you were closest with to comfort you would be best.

A quiet sob slipped past your lips upon being wrapped into his arms. Jay let out a small shush, one of his hands rubbing small circles with his thumb against your back, visibly upset by how affected you were as he tucked his head down toward your ear, whispering words of reassurance that everything was okay and nothing would happen.

Heeseung tapped Jake's shoulder, nodding him along to give the two of you a minimal amount of space but also linger close enough in case the crazed man decided to have second thoughts and come back. Meanwhile, Sunghoon had made his way over to one of the cashiers, explaining the situation and how the female staff should be cautious until security had eyes on the man.

Jake glanced over as Jay had pulled back from the hug, his hands on either side of your face as he wiped away the tears that kept falling from your eyes. His heart tugged at the sight of you, looking utterly disheartened with a slightly red nose and your mascara beginning to smudge.

He's glad he answered.

#jake #jake sim #sim jaeyun #enhypen #jaeyun x reader #enhypen jake #smut #jaeyun smut #IM SO EXCITED THIS IS FUN

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itsphoenix0724 · 10 months

Text

Meet Me On The Ice (Azriel x Reader)~ Chapter 1

Summary: You and Lucien Vanserra have been skating together since you were children, but when he has an accident that takes him out right before championships you turn to your brother and his hockey team to fill the position. His best friend Azriel has lethal grace on the ice and owes your brother a favor, which seems like a match made in heaven, except you can’t stand each other. Can you and Azriel pull a routine together in time for your competition, or will it all spiral out of control?

MMOTI masterlist

Warnings: mentions of injury, blood

Word Count: 1.9k

A/N: Hello everyone! Happy December, my final exams are over so I'm so excited to get back into writing! As you all know I've been planning this for a while, so I hope you're all as excited as I am!!

DISCLAIMER: I am not a figure skater or a hockey player, so while I'm trying to be as accurate as possible, it's likely some things may not be correct and/or are bent a little to fit the plot!

Figure skating is a lot more thrilling than people give it credit for. Only a few people are willing to be thrown 5 feet in the air at 20 miles an hour and completely trust the other person to catch them.

The ice was always your happy place. The biting chill against your skin, the feel of gliding across the rink faster than light. It was thrilling, to say the least. You and Lucien had worked so hard this season to advance this far, and you only had a couple of competitions left before the both of you graduated from university. The two of you were on a winning streak, and this competition looked like it would turn out no different. Your coach smiled from the sidelines as the two of you performed in perfect sync, his hands around your waist as he lifted you effortlessly into the air before resting you safely back on your skates. It was time for the big finish, you sped in a circle around the rink executing a triple toe and Lucien built up his momentum to launch his axel. Your eyes dart to the judges' impressed faces before you whip your head back to him and-

Something’s wrong.

The angle– the spin, is all out of balance, and in the blink of an eye, Lucien hits the ice. His head makes a sickening crack on the ground as red floods around him, and his right leg is twisted in the wrong way. The scream you let out doesn’t even sound like yours as you race over to him, the sounds of the crowd echoing around you in a sick symphony.

“Oh my god”

“Someone call an ambulance!”

“Get him off the ice quick!”

You don’t hear any of them too busy trying to shake Lucien awake with tears streaming down your cheeks, but he’s knocked out cold. A blur of red is next to you and it takes you a moment before you realize it’s Lucien’s mother. It’s another gut-wrenching eternity of trying your best to hold a towel against his head to stop the bleeding, Lucien still unresponsive, before the gentle hands of a paramedic ease you away from your best friend. You watch with abject horror as they load him onto a stretcher, and carry him out of the rink. Helping Lucien’s mother off of the ice, she follows them outside. The ringing in your ears still hasn’t stopped, not even when your own mother and father come racing down the arena steps, a hand coming out to hold your jaw, and another wrapping your coat around your shoulders. Before you blink again they’re ushering you out of the rink and into the car.

It’s two days before you can see Lucien in the hospital.

You had driven in complete silence, anxiety coiled like a viper in the pit of your stomach. Parking your car in the visitor lot you look at the teddy bear you buckled safely into your passenger seat, its soft brown hands clutching a heart with cursive writing spelling Get Well Soon. It had been dumb and cheesy, but you snagged it at the grocery store while picking up some of Lucien’s favorite snacks and couldn’t resist.

Hopefully, it would make him laugh at least.

The nurse at the desk smiles at you kindly before pointing you in the right direction of his room. The atmosphere of the hospital weighs painfully on your shoulders as the elevator ride seems to stretch on for decades. You thankfully find Lucien’s room easily enough, his russet eyes light up at the sight of you even with the angry red stitches that run through his hair.

“There she is!” He bellows, eyeing the bear and the bag of treats with interest. You set them on his bed and he laughs a joyous sound as he props the bear next to him on the bed, declaring it his new best friend.

“How are you feeling?” You ask tentatively, settling into a chair next to his bed. His leg is in a cast, elevated, and you run your bottom lip between your teeth with worry.

“I’m alright, all things considered.” He promises rifling through the bag to dig out the pack of spicy chips, “I’ve got a concussion, and my legs broken so bad I’ll be in physical therapy for months.” Lucien meets your eyes mournfully, looking as if you’d just punched him in the face. “I won’t be able to skate for the rest of the season. I’m so sorry.” He dips his eyes averting his gaze to the broken leg, like glaring at it hard enough will force it back together again. You feel your heart sink to your feet, but you refuse to let it show, trying to keep a happy smile on your face.

“None of that matters, all I care about is that you’re okay.” You reach out to grip his hand, and his warm palms engulf your own.

“You can find another partner to finish the season,” He urges, Lucien’s other hand comes up to cup your cheek, wiping away the silver trying to fight its way out of your eyes despite your best efforts. You had already registered in the partner skate division, so it was too late to switch now. But even thought makes your stomach turn.

“No one could ever replace you,” You promise, leaning into his warmth. It’s the truth. You had been skating with Lucien since you were small, and now you’re about to graduate from university. There could be no one else. No one else that, without fail, had such a warm touch even on the ice rink. No one else you could trust to catch you every time, even if it means sacrificing his safety.

You had tried to skate with one other partner, once, in freshman year when Lucien caught the flu so bad he was puking for weeks. It hadn’t ended well and you hadn’t trusted anyone since.

“You should skate your last season. Even if this new guy will never be as good as me.” It’s a lighthearted attempt at a joke, and you accept the crutch of humor, chest rising with a breath of laughter. “You could ask Rhys, maybe he’d do it? He used to skate before he switched to hockey right?” That was true, but he switched to hockey right before middle school to play with his friends, maybe he’d consider it if it didn’t conflict too much with his schedule.

“I’ll think about it, let's focus on tearing through these snacks in the meantime,” You snag the peanut butter cups out of his bag despite Lucien’s vehement protests and turn the staticky hospital tv to shitty afternoon cartoons.

₊˚｡⋆❆⋆｡˚₊₊˚｡⋆❆⋆｡˚₊₊˚｡⋆❆⋆｡˚₊

You held your tears in successfully until you got home. You didn’t want Luicen to feel guilty, didn’t want him to see you cry, so here you were curled in a ball under your covers. Hiding from your problems like a child, hoping if you just ignored them long enough they would magically solve themselves. You had asked Rhys earlier about possibly skating with you, but between learning to take over your father’s business, university, and hockey he understandably regretfully declined. The bedroom door creaks open, hearing the delicate tread of Rhys’s footsteps before he settles next to you on the bed, rubbing a soothing hand along your curved form.

“It’ll be alright I promise,” Rhys mutters. “I think I might have a solution, but I don’t think you’re going to like it.” You rise from your chosen shelter, raising a brow and wiping at your tear-stained cheek.

“What is it?” You question, and Rhys almost flinches. “I’ll do almost anything to skate again.” He must see the desperation and he carries on anyway.

“Azriel is still suspended from the team at the moment, and he owes me a favor…” Rhys watches your eyes catch up to his words, the disgust flashing in them. Both of Rhys’s best friends had couched surfed at your house at one time or another, and you and Azriel had never gotten along. Not like sunshiney Cassian, who may be viscous on the ice but was one of the most gentle people you knew. Cas was the one who made an effort to include you in activities, who playfully tossed you in the pool in the summer, and took you for long drives when you were upset. Azriel spent those summers by the pool brooding in the shade until you left, and was currently suspended from the Velaris University hockey team for throwing another player so hard into the glass he was concussed. “You said you would do almost anything to skate again,” Rhys raises his hands in surrender and you roll your eyes.

“What about Cassian?” you offer. He would probably do it for you, but Cas wasn’t suited for figure skating. His style was too brutish, it was nothing against him, he just wouldn’t pick up the flow and patience you needed to skate with the music fast enough in time for the competition. As much as you hated to admit it, Azriel moved across the ice like smoke, flowing and ebbing with a lethal grace you couldn’t help but admire.

“Cas is too busy with school and hockey,” Rhys had clearly already run through the option. You knew that if you begged Cassian he probably would, but his stance at the school depended entirely on his grades and his performance in hockey. You wouldn’t give him any chance to mess up his scholarship. “Please just talk to Az with me tomorrow.”

“Fine.” You relent, perhaps with a little more attitude than necessary. So you correct yourself, Rhys is going out of his way to help you. “Thank you.” He gives you a small smile, pressing a kiss to your forehead before leaving your room.

So that was how you found yourself bundled up at the rink, at six in the fucking morning, with Rhy watching Azriel practice. He moved like a panther, prowling around the ice and slapping the puck with such ferocity the crack makes you flinch. He tears off his helmet, skating over with a mop of sweat-soaked hair. Az’s hazel eyes flick over you once in distaste before dismissing you completely and turning his attention to Rhys, which makes your temper rise to a heated spark of fury. Your brother clears his throat, nudging you on the back to speak. Azriel turns back to you and raises a cold dark brow.

“Would you please consider being my skating partner for my last few competitions this season? Please” you choke out, trying your best to send him a pleasant smile. Then, Azriel actually has the balls to laugh at you.

“Yeah, I heard about what happened to Vanserra. What makes you think I would ever want to do that?” Azriel chuckles out, voice dripping with sarcasm. You’re about to agree, call this whole mess off, and return to the comfort of your bed when Rhys cuts in.

“Because you owe me,” The two of them have some silent stare-down that you wish you could be privy to. Whatever Rhys had done for Azriel in the past it must have been big because after a moment Azriel fixes those molten eyes on you again.

“Fine, I’ll do it. Be here tomorrow at five so we can try to figure out this shitshow.” He tucks his helmet back over his head and prowls back around to the ice. You guess you’ll be meeting him here tomorrow night and you find yourself agreeing with the sentiment that this will be a shit show indeed.

#acotar #acomaf #acowar #acosf fanfiction #acotar imagine #azriel acotar #azriel x reader #azriel imagine #azriel #acotar au #Meet Me On The Ice

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hearts4golbach · 7 months

Text

The Night Shift.

Johnnie Guilbert x Fem!Reader.

chapter 13.

it was another night in the cafe, the same routine seemed to be never ending. as i scrubbed the counter down after spilling my own drink, i thought about Johnnie. i didn't want to have my hopes up that he'd continue to come and see me every night, so i had myself convinced i'd only see him a couple times this week, if even at all. i scrubbed the counter until it sparkled, wanting to keep myself busy with anything i could. if Johnnie was up, he would've texted me. and if he is up and didn't, then that's fine. i kept telling myself the same thing to try and quiet my mind, but i gave in and just put in one of my headphones.

it was around 11 pm when a trio of girls stumbled into the cafe. 2 of them were very obviously under the influence while the other must've been the designated driver because she had a miserable look on her face. the sober girl shooed them off, telling them to go sit somewhere. she walked up to me with an exasperated smile. "you seem like you're having a great night." i say sarcastically, trying to lighten the mood.

she sighed, "yeah. so sorry if they cause any trouble." she says shyly.

"all good, what can i get for you?" the bell on the door rings as someone else walks in. i didn't glance over while i was listening to her order. whenever she was finished ordering snacks for her friends, she thanked me and went to sit with them.

johnnie walked up after her with a tired smile. "hey."

i tilted my head and smiled softly. "why don't you take melatonin or something? your sleep schedule must be shit if you come and see me every night." i tease

"i mean, it's worth it. in the day you're usually asleep." i looked at him, confused, "so i can't see you." he explained further, lightly laughing.

"well, i'm so glad you come see me so often," i smile, but my mood immediately flipped as someone else walked in. a sweet looking old lady stood behind johnnie in the line. "you ordering anything?"

"probably not tonight. i just planned on seeing if i could talk to you for a bit." he moved out of the way and went to sit at his usual table. after i served this customer, i planned on going to sit with him.

"hello, ma'am. what can i get for you?" i repeated the words i had at least a hundred times in the past month. as she went through her order, i took a couple glances around the cafe. johnnie sat on his phone, leaving back in the chair lazily. meanwhile, one of the intoxicated girls was really eyeing him. it looked as if she was undressing him with her eyes, and i hated it. i watched as she turned to her friend and whispered before smiling and blushing and looking back at him. i think i visibly rolled my eyes.

"that'll be all!" her bottom lip slightly quivered as she smiled.

"i'll have that right out for you." i walked over to our case of pastries, occasionally taking glances back at the girl. she seemed to be scheming something. i collected her two cheese danishes before going off to make her vanilla latte. i set her things on the counter in front of where she was standing before telling her the total. she paid and went on her merry way.

i exited from behind the counter and sat across from johnnie. whenever he realized i was done, he shut off his and fixed his posture to face me correctly. "seems like a busy ass night."

"yeah, i mean, luckily i get off at, like, 3." which was about 3 hours before the day shift started. johnnie nodded. i watched as the same girl walked up behind johnnie. she had long, red, pin straight hair and the cutest freckles i had ever seen, which almost made me mad. she was beautiful, and if she was about to hit on johnnie, i didn't stand a chance compared.

she tapped on his shoulder while staring me dead in the eyes. " hi, i'm amelia." she smiled sweetly, sticking out her hand to johnnie.

"hi," johnnie replied, sounding confused but not taking her hand. him not taking her hand made me want to smile, but it was such a small gesture, i convinced myself it was nothing.

she cleared her throat as she put her hand down. "well, i think you're really cute," she blushed, "can i get your number?" her hand grazed his shoulder.

he slightly furrowed his eyebrows, glancing towards me before turning back to her. "i'm not looking for a relationship right now, no thanks." he said nonchalantly before turning back to me. she opened her mouth to say something but ultimately walked back to her seat without saying a word. "did i ever get your tiktok? i wanna send you shit." he immediately changed the subject.

"no, one sec." i pulled up tiktok and showed him my username. as he was looking me up, o began to spam text jake.

me: jake

me: jakeee

me: jake!!!

and so on for at least 30 seconds before he texted me back.

jake: whaaat why can't i sleep D:

me: because this girl was tryna get his number but he said he's not looking for a relationship is that true???

jake: i can't say much but that is not the case for that inbred

me: well damn good but what 😭

jake: is that it

jake: can i sleep now 🙃

me: yes get your beauty sleep cause you need it lol

jake: girl have you seen me?? gn

me: lol night

i turned off my phone and looked at johnnie, feeling much better. "you find it?"

"damn, sorry, i'm slow." he smiled awkwardly, a blush growing on his face. i smiled back.

#fanfiction #fanfic #johnnie guilbert #jake and johnnie #jake webber #johnnie guilbert x you #johnnie guilbert x reader #cafe aesthetic #cafe #tara yummy

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lemoncrushh · 4 months

Text

Write You A Song - Sneak Peek

COMING SOON...

Summary: Harry Styles is just a regular guy with a regular job. A little dispirited and down on love, he finds comfort in the small things like the moon, his morning coffee, and stopping at the local bodega. When the cute girl who works behind the counter starts to inspire his poetry and songwriting, he soon grasps a new outlook on life, and eventually finds a way to open his heart again.

Based on this request from @fkinavocado.

A/N: This will be a series, though I'm not sure yet how many parts. Probably not a long one though, but definitely more than just a few chapters. This is an AU obviously, with an OC. This will be lhh, sometimes beardrry, sometimes with glasses, sometimes with a man bun :). He also smokes, at least at the beginning, so just wanted to put that out there in case that's a dealbreaker for you. If this sounds like something you'd like to read as I post, please let me know and I'll add you to a taglist.

SNEAK PEEK

Caught up in his own thoughts, he almost didn’t see her until he was at arm’s length. She sat alone at the bus stop, the pitiful light barely giving enough glow for her to read the book in her lap.

He had seen her before. Many times in fact, though he did not know her name. She worked at the bodega near his building, next to the bus stop there. He wondered what she was doing on this side of town. Quickly putting out his cigarette, he approached her.

“Hello,” he said flatly as he took a seat next to her on the bench.

The girl gave a short nod and a mumbled hi before actually looking up from her book. When she did, her eyes blinked, and Harry caught the corners of her mouth curve upwards. “Oh, hey.”

Harry started to open his mouth again when the girl quickly returned to her book. Clearing his throat, Harry shoved his hands into his coat pockets. He considered asking her what she was reading, but decided against it. Some people don’t enjoy small talk, himself included.

Soon, the bus arrived and Harry climbed on after the girl, taking the seat across from her. At this time of night, the buses were fairly empty. He spotted a young couple a few rows ahead, and two more passengers near the back. On evenings like this when he closed the shop, it was rare to see more people than that.

He wondered what the girl was doing out this late. Surely she wasn’t going to the bodega. It was much too dangerous for a young woman to work such hours. Perhaps she was going to visit a friend, or a boyfriend. Or maybe she was returning home from doing so. That was probably it.

Harry pulled out a small notepad he kept in his inside coat pocket, along with a pen. He began to jot down a few words that described the moment, all the while sneaking glances over at the girl. She was still very content reading her book. He was just about to get up the nerve to ask what was so intriguing when the bus came to a halt. Nearly smacking his head against the seat in front of him, he cursed under his breath, returning the pen and notebook to his pocket. Then just as he was about to rise from his seat, the girl grabbed her backpack and stood in the aisle. Harry followed her down the bus steps and onto the curb. When he saw her heading for the bodega, he hurriedly caught up with her.

“You work tonight?” he asked, his words hanging in mid-air like his breath.

“What?” she turned, startled. “Oh. Yeah, I do.”

“That’s not right,” Harry frowned.

“Excuse me?” she chuckled.

“I mean…it’s late...”

“And that’s when the crazies come out?” she finished, tucking her hair behind her ear.

“Well…” Harry hesitated. “Yeah. It’s kinda dangerous, don’t you think?”

“It can be,” she sighed. Harry noted the way she shifted her weight to the other hip. “But…I’ve worked here long enough that Manuel trusts me. And I’ve been trained on what to do in dangerous situations.”

Harry couldn’t help but cringe. He didn’t like this one bit. “Is anyone else working with you?”

“Not yet. Manuel leaves when I go in, but Jared comes in at midnight.”

As the girl started again for the store, Harry instinctively walked beside her, grabbing the door before she could.

“Thanks, Harry, for your concern,” she smiled. “But I’m a big girl. I’ll be okay.”

Stepping into the bodega, she made a beeline for the back of the store. Harry heard her call out to Manuel that she had to use the ladies’ really bad, but would be right there. Gazing at the display of Valentine’s cards and heart-shaped candy boxes, Harry groaned.

He thought about sticking around to make sure she was okay, but when he paid for a pack of gum and she still wasn’t back, he decided to leave. He didn’t think loitering was wise with the manager giving him the eye.

When he turned the corner to enter his apartment building, Harry stopped, a notion finally dawning on him. She’d called him Harry. How did she know his name, but he didn’t know hers?

MASTERLIST

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cas-backwards-tie · 1 year

Text

Chapter Five: Threatened to Reset

Heiress of Gotham

Bruce Wayne x Daughter!Reader

Previous Chapter | Next Chapter

Summary: With the family's help everything is planned for the big move. A trip to Bludhaven to organize, pack, and move all your belongings leaves the past to be drug up. How will they react to your home? Will any secrets be found? Will emotions rise? Will your past be disclosed? It's all up to you... and maybe a crime boss and his goons.

Words: 4.3k

Warnings: The usual Banter and Bickering, Cursing, Knives, Threatening, Anxiety, Panic Attacks, Arguing, Fighting, Shame, Guilt, Fight or Flight.

Mentions of: Sex Trafficking, Criminal Activities, Police, Drug Busts, Prostitution, Assassins.

A/N: There's a lot of information to digest in the chapter, and really what was meant to be one chapters I actually am going to have to split up in order to make them manageable. It's been awhile, and while I'm still trying to figure out how to manage my life in the sense of hobbies, work, my health, a possible second job, and extracurriculars, I request you all be patient with me. I definitely do have more in store, yet for now this chapter isn't proofread (at least the beginning and end) I just need to get this one out.

Having discussed tomorrow’s events as a group at dinner, your Father let you lead the charge in what would happen with your apartment’s belongings. Decided on packing everything up and either donating the things you don’t need, storing the important things, and transporting the things you do need, it was simple enough. Nothing a little packing tape and rounds of boxes won’t fix.

Starting the day with a hearty breakfast from Alfred, you all packed into a minivan you didn't know or think the Bruce Wayne would ever own, let alone have anything to do with. Nevertheless, the ride was fairly timely to get to your old apartment building. Saying hello to the few neighbors coming in and out who you recognized and knew, you led the gang up the seven flights and begrudgingly let them inside. You knew sooner or later they'd find out where and how you lived. It certainly isn't as nice as Wayne Manor, but of course, what else would you expect?

Assigning everyone to different spots and or groups of items in the apartment, you really feel like they went for overkill. A welcoming and slightly overwhelming sense of love blossoms in your chest as they really didn't all need to help, but everyone insisted on coming anyway. Even Tim's girlfriend, Stephanie. How nice, you think, for someone to actually care that much to go out of their way. Family almost congesting the apartment, you focus on your room and belongings. The fact that Damian hasn't even made any rude remarks (that you know of) is surprising in itself.

After almost everything is packed away, it's a few hours past noon, and Alfred is tired. Damian insists he's spent enough time in this 'hellhole' and almost demands that Alfred take him home. With the time having gotten away from you and some of the others, it seems to no one's surprise that Tim and Stephanie also apologetically explain their need to leave. They have homework they need to get done; and with that, Alfred agrees that it might be best to head back to the Manor with everyone who needs to leave. Dick lives in Bludhaven, so there's no surprise he'd stay. And while Jason has his motorcycle, coming from his own apartment, he says he doesn't mind staying until it's all finished. Bruce also having come separately after checking in at work, explains that the two of you can drive back together once everything's done. It'd been lucky enough that he'd brought his car, and not one of the nicer ones, either.

Searching all the nearby boxes, you don’t find it. It’s nowhere to be seen, and if it’s not here then that can only mean one thing: They took it. Opening up the box near the kitchen you retrieve a butcher’s knife. Hand gripping the handle tightly you storm to the front door and lock it.

“Woah, woah- what’s going on?” Jason asks, hands raising in concern as he stops boxing the books that’d been on the nearby shelf.

With a tense look in his eyes, you adjust the knife in your palm, getting a better and more sturdy grip on it. Other hand rising to your mouth you place your pointer finger before your lips. A tacit command of ‘silence’. Jason’s fear had drawn the attention of the other two, though you ignore them as you quickly storm through the living room and down the hall.

Eyes flitting back and forth out the window, up and down the fire escape you quickly return with the same fervor you’d previously held. “Why do you have a knife?” Dick questions.

Back at the front door, you press your ear to it and listen to the hallway, hoping that if anyone were to come, you’d hear them and be ready. In the attempt of a raid via bursting through the door, at least you’ll be the first one in the line of fire, able to protect everyone. No sound so far; backing from the door slowly, you turn toward the men. While the worst case scenario always pops into your mind first, you’re not oblivious to the measly chance this could simply chalk up to coincidence. Holding out the knife, you point to each man in the room as your gaze shifts between them.

“Look. There was a gun in there last time we were here. It’s always there. If none of you have seen it, let alone packed it away… then we have a big problem,” you reveal. Knife pointed in the direction of the safe that's now open within a drawer of the tv stand, it's clear that everything else has been packed away.

Between the couch and television diagonally to your left stands Dick. Hands raised, he holds a stoic expression as he stands closest to the safe. His blue eyes flit to Jason. Knife shifting toward him, he too stands with his hands by his waist, palms facing you. Eyes filled with confusion and concern, he shifts his weight as he stands across the room in the corner between the kitchen's counter and the opening to the hallway. His green eyes shift to Bruce.

Before you can even turn the knife on the man closest to you, diagonally standing in the kitchen opening to your right, someone speaks up. “I took it,” Jason announces. All eyes dart to him and you watch as he slowly starts to reach around his back towards his waistband. Out of the corner of your eye you spot Bruce move.

“Don’t!” You warn, stepping back and pointing the knife at him. He’s not going to disarm you. Eyes back on Jason, you motion with the knife for him to place the produced gun onto the table between you two. Gun dangling from his fingers, he doesn’t move, so you gesture again with more of a ferocity this time. “Put it on the table.” It’s a command, not a request.

He slides it across the table. Three steps close the distance between you and the item. Though Bruce could easily do something behind your back, just out of your peripheral vision now, you focus on the task at hand. One look at the gun has you skeptical; face tense, you use the knife to turn the gun around. The examination is short. One flip of the gun onto its other side and a quick lift into your hands to make sure the safety is on, you release the bullet cartridge to find that one bullet is missing. With a click of the cartridge locking back into place, you toss it back onto the table.

Storming back to the door where you're at a far enough distance from all of them, your forearms rest against the splintering wood, face buried within them for a moment to gather yourself. Slowly turning back toward the men, but more specifically Jason, you glare daggers at him. “Why didn’t you just tell me you had the gun when I first mentioned it missing,” not waiting for an answer, your head tilts a bit as you don’t play his game. “Nevertheless, did you really think I’d be stupid enough to not recognize that that’s an entirely different gun? So what’s your game?”

Silence lingers. Jason knows he’s fucked, and they all know it too. Why did he think she’d fall for that? Better yet, why wouldn’t she?!It was worth a shot, sure, but the real gun is still back at the Batcave. However, she can’t know that. “There’s no game,” Bruce says your name, a sincere look in his eyes.

“I wasn’t asking you,” you bark, knife turning on him as he tries again to take a step closer. His hands are still raised in an attempt to de-escalate the situation.

The silence is expected, however, the smile that creepily inches across your lips is not. A shift of the knife in your palm has you gripping the handle in an underhanded approach, ready to stab, rather than slice. “Ha,” you scoff, “I knew it… too good to be true. I can respect the lengths he’ll go to play his little games, but this is just beyond fucked. A ploy to what? Fuck with me, pretend to be my family, and now what? Kill me? I knew it. After yesterday, I just knew it was coming.”

“What are you talking about?” Jason asks incredulously, a hint of anger and fear within his tone.

“Who?” Dick asks coldly, taking a step closer.

“Antonio Marin?” Bruce asks. Eyes darting to meet his, you shift the knife in your palm again to get a better grip on it.

“Oh, you wanna play it this way? Act all fucking coy and innocent now?” Gears shifting, you eye the other two men. “Unless he’s just another victim to his plan, I don’t buy it. Richest man in the world and he’s a good guy? Yeah? No.”

“Should’ve known,” you sigh, shaking your head. “BPD? Too obvious.” With a sad smile and tears beginning to threaten your eyes, you chuckle. “Well if he wants me, then go ahead. I’ve got nothing left. If I’m the last piece to the puzzle then do it. Kill me. It’s three to one, I know you’ve got a gun and more than enough bullets to take me.” You thump your chest with your free hand, open, ready to accept your fate. “Do it! Shoot me, Jason. Right now! Kill me.”

As if the reality of the situation suddenly dawns on you, fear readily replaces the confidence you’d just boasted. Backing up against the door you shift the knife in your hand to a stabbing position again, as you continue to shift it, unsure which approach will be best in your defense. Suddenly you're terrified of what’s to come. “No… no. Three big men on one teenage girl?” The way Jason had hesitated, it’s apparent. “I knew he was expanding the business, but like this? NO.” Chest heaving with rapid breaths, you’re suddenly running on pure adrenaline. Panic sets in as you know what the man's got planned for you. “If you want me then I’m not going down alone. I’ll kill myself before I let that happen to me- and if that doesn’t work then I’ll mangle myself SO badly that nobody will buy me,” you threaten, voice deepening in a terrifyingly chilling way.

Placing the knife against your neck, you’re more than ready to take yourself off the table. You won’t let that happen to yourself. You won’t let anyone take advantage of you that way. A punishment worse than death is something you're not willing to participate in, nor offer.

Dick calls your name in a calm tone, one far too calm for this situation. “This isn’t any ploy, or game. We don’t work for anyone. If you think someone’s after you, you need to tell us. We can’t help you if we don’t know what’s going on.”

“Oh,” you relinquish too easily, knife falling back to your side. Turning to face the door your eyes settle against it for a moment before spinning back to face the man. “I’m sorry. I didn’t realize that Officer Grayson from the BPD was here! I’ll just tell you everything so you can either arrest me or take me out on his behalf!” With a step toward him, you raise the knife by your side again. “Do you really think I’m that stupid, Grayson? That I wouldn’t realize you’d try to get a confession out of me, record this- have them take a voice memo? This isn’t my first rodeo.”

"It's not like that. We're just trying to help! You can't seriously believe this is all some conspiracy against you," Dick argues. His voice is still calm, and while the raised brow elicits a begrudging irk and prick of paranoia in your mind, his words do nothing but continue to cause the gears to mentally turn. "If someone wanted to take you out there would've been easier methods. You would've been dead weeks ago."

A wry chuckle leaves your lips, a knowing smile still set on your features as you two stand off with one another. "Sure... if it was anyone else. Yet that's not how he plays his game and you know it."

"You still think I'm corrupt?" Dick asks, shifting his weight to lean into his hip on one side.

"How could you not be?! Look at me and tell me that you're not! That you don't know about Perdy Chapman, or any of the sabotage the BPD plays," you demand.

"I know about the sabotage. I don't know about Perdy Chapman, but if you know something," he recites your name, "you have to tell us. I can't do anything or help anyone if everyone's keeping secrets."

"What? So this is all a loyalty test? An attempt to get me to come back? There's no way he's that desperate."

"Come back? You worked for Antonio Marin?" Bruce pipes up, concerned blue eyes turning on you as he shifts his gaze between you and Dick. Hands still up in surrender, he takes a step towards you.

"Quit fucking with me! If this is because he thinks I'll rat, I won't! I'm not a fucking rat. We got out, we left! We don't owe him anything!"

"If you know where he is you need to tell us," Jason voices his concern, also taking a step closer. "No one is taking you back, no one is gonna hurt you. I'll be damned before that happens." Jason whispers your name, garnering your attention as he gives you a serious look, "If you think he's after you, we need to know. We can't help you if we don't know what's going on."

With a stomp and a slash of the knife by your side as you realize they're right, you won't do this without a stipulation. "Fine! But... I can't go to the cops. I can't... file a report. I can't do anything. Promise me-" you respond, voice starting off confident until his falls short of a whisper. Jason nods, starting to close the space as he pulls out the last chair remaining at the dinner table.

"No cops, you got it. Just... tell us what happened, what's going on," Jason concedes, hand settled on the back of the chair.

As you shake your head in decline toward the chair, Jason easily swivels it around and sits on it backwards, attention on you. As you place the knife on the side table by the front door, you start to pace. "I... don't know where to start," you voice your thoughts.

"From the beginning," Dick encourages, voice gentle as he realizes Jason has made progress by building a rapport. Something he hadn't realized he could be making more of an effort towards, he supposes. Even if he already feels like he's done more than he can for the girl.

As the Detective sits on the back of the couch and Bruce leans against the wall, your eyes can't help but find his... your Father's. "I... I can't-" you realize. Steps coming to a halt, you find yourself face to face with the last person in your life who you feel like you can't lose. The only person you need to impress, to suck up to.

"This is important," Bruce says your name, head tilting further downward as he offers a more straight-on look with your height differences, not to mention the sympathetic look that crosses his features.

Eyes falling to the floor, you shake your head. "I can't. I don't want you to look at me differently, and I know you will. There's no way you can't." It's a warning, a vague divulgence on the subject matter. There's no way this conversation can happen without someone's impression being changed or shifted. It's just not possible.

"That won't happen," Bruce reassures.

"There's no way it can't happen. You don't know!" You argue, hands gesticulating the emphasis of your seriousness.

"This is your safety we're talking about," Jason reminds.

"We all have pasts," Dick reiterates your name, "we've all done things. It won't change anything."

"I promise," Bruce adds on, following up with Dick's words. Bending to be on your level, he holds out his pinky, and while part of you hesitates, the seriousness in his eyes begs for a piece of trust. An inkling of hope, sincerity, vulnerability, trust. Wrapping your much smaller pinky around his, you shake on it.

As he lets go and returns to leaning against the wall, they all sit in anticipation, waiting for you to speak. "From the beginning?" You question.

"From the beginning," Dick echoes again, trying his hardest to be patient. With a tacit gesture of his hand, he guides you to sit on the couch cushions. Despite his offer, you choose to sit on the floor in front of the couch, back leant up against it as Dick chooses to sit in the armchair to the left of it. Jason comes closer, perching himself on the edge of the tv stand, while Bruce lingers by the back of the couch to your right, still in your periphery.

"It... all started about, I don't know, two years ago?" Jason nods in encouragement, a sign for you to keep going. "I don't- I don't know exactly when, I can't really place a time or say because I didn't know- I didn't- I never thought- I mean," the words tumble from your lips as your thoughts begin to race with the memories. Heart beating faster, there was never a definitive point in time you could place. "He just... started coming over. After-" swallowing the thick lump that forms in your throat, the faint burning sensation of tears threatening to start welling up becomes real. "-Mom got laid off."

"Mhm," Dick hums, hands clasping in his lap as he expresses the fact that he's listening.

"Everyone knew who he was. We all do, but of course, you're nice to people you don't necessarily know. You don't wanna start any problems. I guess Mama met him one night when she was out with my Tia. He said he could get her job back, that he could help her make money again, that we wouldn't have to move, to get evicted. He'd get her job back. So he did. She didn't ask, she didn't even want her job back after everything they said and did to her, firing her just because of her skin- but... he did it anyways. He got her job back at the hospital and even got her a promotion. How? I never asked, but if you know Marin, then I guess you can imagine."

"Then he told her she owed him," Bruce speaks up as you take a breath. His tone is definitive, certain, as if he knows. A shake of your head lets him know he's wrong.

"Of course, she went back to see him at the same bar. She thanked him, we all did... but that wasn't the end of it. He said if she ever wanted anything more, a side job, extra money, anything else, that he could give her that. That all she need do is ask." A sigh escapes your lips and you subtly shake your head again. you know you'll have to tell them. It'll get there eventually, yet there's no way of knowing how they'll react. "They became friends. I always thought he liked her, that's why he was so nice."

"But he showed his true colors, didn't he?" Jason comments, a dangerous and almost vengeful tone in his voice as he leans forward so his elbows rest on his knees. His hands curl in and out of fists as he listens.

"No... he was... just nice." Finally looking up to meet their eyes, you gauge the room. Each man has a different expression on his face, looks of curiosity, intrigue, suspicion, and anger all around. "He'd be at the parties, come over, take us out, have a drink. He became a part of the family, at least... for a while. I think it all changed when Mama said no to him. He asked her out, and she finally understood why he'd been so nice to her. Yet, that didn't change anything. Being friends, he was still coming around. Maybe he was doing more, becoming more distant, but not much changed. He kept offering, and offering, and eventually I think she figured if she had control, and it was something he'd offer, then how could it hurt? It was only after that year and once the gifts died down that, well..."

"What?" Jason raises his eyes again to meet yours as he'd been mulling over his own thoughts for a moment, head in hands. A chuckle shakes his chest subtly as his hands shoot out in gesticulation. "You can't just say 'after that, well...' and not finish the story!"

"Come on, Jase-" Bruce gently reprimands with a look.

"It's clear there's more," Dick interrupts his Father to address you, still in the position he'd been in. Eyes intent on you as he waits for an answer, a scowl on his lips.

"I finally asked him if there was any way I could do something. Something small to make money; like mow someone's lawn, pet-sitting, house-sitting... things like that." Eyes falling to the pilled carpet by your sock-clad feet, you pick at the fluffy brown fabric. "I had school. My mom would hate me if she knew I asked him, but everyone else was getting money, and I figured if he was like my Uncle or Dad it's normal to ask for those things... I think." Hair falling over your shoulders, it masks your face as you rush to get the rest of the story out.

"He... had me do jobs for him. It was easy. Deliver presents, bouquets, envelopes, packages, things like that. No problem, lots of people do that, right? But I was making at least a hundred every week, if not more, and, and I didn't think about it. It was easy money! I could buy whatever I wanted, I could save, I could spoil my friends, my mom... I never thought about it until I... got curious." Words trailing off, you risk a glance up at Dick. Tucking your bangs behind your ear, his expression is immovable. He's stoic; a pickup of heartrate leaves you anxious as you haven't been able to easily read him like many of the others.

The movement of Jason's lips slowly opening garners your attention, and as his eyes widen you quickly duck your head back down again. "You were..." he tests the waters.

"So one day I decided to stay. They never opened their packages in my vicinity. Never opened the presents, envelopes, packages, or undid the bouquet. It didn't feel right. I haven't gotten many presents in my life, but I'd think if I got a big one like those, I'd open it right away... see what it is." Continuing with your story, you didn't give Jason even half a fraction of time to finish his thoughts. "So I delivered the package like normal, watched them count out the money and hand it over before I was on my way. Around the corner, I was halfway down the block when I realized I could probably wait it out, hide somewhere across the street and watch them from one of the store windows. They wouldn't notice. I could just put on my hood, if anything, and... well, then it-" eyes shifting back up to Dick, you don't look away this time, "-it happened."

"I hadn't realized it but parked on the opposite side of the road and right by me out of sight from where I'd come there were cop cars parked. Cops lined up with their guns pulled, batons and riot shields ready. I froze..." At this moment it seems like the gears in Dick's mind are finally starting to turn and place things together. "I thought I was caught, for something I only suspected, but... within seconds the cops were ushering me out of the area while the second team were busting the gang of boys I'd come from for having drugs."

"They were using you," Bruce states, an air of sympathy encased in his word choice.

"You were a mule f-" Jason affirms.

"-But that wasn't the end of it," Dick says confidently, his dark blue eyes still set on you, unmoving, a quirked brow joining his visage. "You said you're out. So if that's true then how'd that happen?" He asks, finally shifting in his seat as his head slightly tilts. It's almost as if he's testing you. "Exactly," he clarifies.

"Once I realized what was happening I ran home. I-" jaw clenching, your eyebrows furrow as you don't want to have to admit this. Especially not when Dick looks so confident and arrogant. You know he'd seen you that day, just like you knew you'd seen him. A silent staring match follows,a few seconds, before your resolve crumbles upon the memories. "I told my mom. I was crying, and she was shocked and surprised and angry and mad and I didn't know what to do! I didn't know where to go or who to tell, and I knew she'd be mad but she said she wasn't mad at me, but at him and that it was okay because she was gonna get us out of it. We met up with Anto- with- with Marin," you correct yourself. "We demanded out, and... he let us go. He said we were free to go as long as we didn't say or do anything that went against him. My mom didn't want us involved with him anymore."

"He just 'let you go'?" Dick reiterates.

"Yes. That's it," you reveal, a shrug following as you don't bother to make eye contact. "Now you know!" The revelation leaves you upset and unaware of anyone else's responses. You just know that this changes everything, now that they know... they know that you're a bad person. You dealt drugs. You worked for a mobster. A gangster, a criminal; you stocked up drug money, saving it, keeping it. Blood money, one could even claim in earnest... and you couldn't argue with them.

~~~~~~~~

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breyito · 1 month

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Fear your sins, not your monsters: Part Three: Paths Converging

Continuation of Day 1 and 2 of @painlandweek

Part 1 Part 2 Chapters: 3/5 Fandom: Dead Boy Detectives (TV) Rating: Mature Warnings: Graphic depictions of violence Relationships: Edwin Paine | Edwin Payne/Charles Rowland, Edwin Paine | Edwin Payne & Charles Rowland, Edwin Paine | Edwin Payne & Crystal Palace Characters: Edwin Paine | Edwin Payne, Charles Rowland (DCU) Additional Tags: Protective Edwin Paine | Edwin PayneUnhinged Edwin Paine | Edwin Payne, Violence, Torture, Hurt Charles Rowland (DCU), Sickfic, love language: acts of service, painlandweek, BAMF Edwin Paine | Edwin Payne, Angst with a Happy Ending

Here on AO3

A/N: Hello! I'm so, so sorry about the delay! My ADHD has been kicking my ass for the last couple of weeks and istg i feel like i can't do anything. Anyways. I had to split this chapter in half, cause it was getting ridiculously long again, and I wasnt going to finish the rest of it today. (I have this new app on my phone that is voice-to-text and it changed my life! All the dialogues i keep forgetting bc of lack of energy to write i can just *dictate* and it feels so good lol. It also lenghtened this quite a bit, tho.) No moodboard for this one either, not yet. I'll try to make one tomorrow (or in a few hours, as it is, once again, 5am). No beta and English is not my native language, so any mistakes please point them out. I hope you enjoy this one! I'm very curious about what you'll think of this one ;P Oh, WARNING:This contains violence, threats of rape towards Charles and other children's souls, etc.

Part Three: Paths Converging

They headed back to the office. On the way, Crystal with her phone in her ear, Edwin had explained the general gist of things to her. Mainly that the other ghost hadn’t known the location of the lair of the witch, but had visited a few times. To allow him to travel there via mirror, she had given him a token attuned to him and his energy. They could use the token, but not to travel with it more than once; and definitely not to escape the place. (Not to mention that Crystal would have never let Edwin go on his own alone, without even the possibility of helping him. She was glad, still, that the ghost boy had not even suggested that.)

“So how can we use it?” she asked, looking right at him, as she plopped down on the couch. They were inside the office now and nosy taxi drivers couldn’t watch her suspiciously anymore. Also, she was exhausted and couldn’t bother with more acting for a couple of hours.

Edwin had gone straight to the massive pile of books on top of every single flat surface, including boxes full of files. He had looked at the books covering the desk for a full thirty seconds and then sent a wave of the black smoke at them, and they actually began moving on their own towards the floor. Crystal was…ignoring that for now, for the sake of her sanity. (How many things was she already ignoring?)

“I think I can combine a couple of rituals to create a sort of…tether, between Charles and myself.” he replied to her, as he removed his outer layers. “This would, basically, allow us to communicate with him and follow his energy to the place where the witch has absconded him.”

“Don’t tethers usually need something more physical to work?” she questioned, curious. At least that’s what the book she had been reading before their last case went wildly off course had said. Maybe the black smoke allowed him to tweak the limits?

“I have something more physical of his.” Edwin said, touching Charles’ necklace still around his neck. ”And for me, well, some blood or the ghost equivalent should work.” His eyes showed his mind went far, far away for a couple of moments. She said nothing, remembering the sudden rush of cold, dark, wet she had felt the last time she touched it. Edwin eventually shook off the melancholy and straightened his posture.

“I will need to compile the different arrays and rites I need to build this ritual. It will take me at least a few hours, so I suggest you rest up.”

“Are you sure I can’t help you…?” she asked, despite knowing he probably wouldn’t let her. Building rituals from scratch was a whole new area and she had exactly zero experience with that.

“Crystal.” He sighed, already spreading an alarming amount of books on the now clean desk. “I don’t mean to be rude, but unless you have a working knowledge of any of the Celtic languages, Aramaic, Latin or Fuþorc Runes I’ll ask you to keep out of it.”

“Okay, okay.” she rolled her eyes. Kicking her shoes off, she got comfortable on the couch and covered herself with the blanket. “But wake me up if you need to leave, alright?” she mumbled, half asleep already. “I don’t wanna panic if you’re not there when I wake up…”

Several hours later, Edwin shook her awake. Still woozy from sleep, she understood he needed a specific kind of knife he didn’t have but knew where to get. And that he had to travel by mirror to the place. She mumbled her understanding to him, and he left.

It was only when she was about to drop back into a deep sleep that her brain actually zoned in to the important part. She sat up on the couch so suddenly she felt dizzy.

“ Esther Finch’s fucking house!?” she yelled at the flat mirror, frustrated beyond belief. “Are you shitting me , Edwin!?” she cursed at the empty office. She creamed into the pillow a bit more, then got up. At least this should give her time to shower.

—-- —-- —--

Edwin really doesn’t want to go back to Port Townsend. The place was bleak, damp and filled with memories of suffering. Whether it is mental, emotional or physical; he’d experienced more pain in that little town in a single month than in the rest of the world in the last fifteen years.

But Charles was missing. Taken by another witch with a penchant for sick, twisted games and children’s pain. The ritual he came up with was novel and needed every single element to work. The dagger was fundamental. Edwin could not risk wasting more time looking for another knife with the same qualities when he already knew the location of one.

So he travelled to Port Townsend via mirror. He landed in Crystal’s old room above Jenny’s shop, and walked up to the house in a disguise. It was better than trying to travel directly inside Finch’s house, which surely had enchantments against ghosts using her mirrors that way.

As soon as his feet landed inside a ten metre radius, he could feel the repellent wards telling him to go away. This magic felt different than Finch’s. Probably the Cat King, then. Or maybe Tragic Mick? He ignored the compulsion, and kept walking up the path into the porch.

He took off his glasses before reaching the stairs, and became his true self again. A loud caw immediately greeted him. He paused and looked back, and saw Monty in his true form on a tree branch. The pause allowed the crow to land in the handrail of the porch, exuding an air of disapproval. Edwin sighed.

“I need to get something from inside this house.” he said, focusing on one of the crows’ eyes. “I’m not going to-” he paused before he promised something he couldn’t keep. Because he couldn’t promise not to hurt someone with what he took from inside. “I’m going to get something from inside this house.” He said instead. “And you are not going to stop me.”

Monty lifted into the air, agitated, cowing. His wings produced so much wind that Edwin took a step back, but then straightened up and pulled his notebook and held it open with one hand.

“I don’t want to hurt you, Monty.” he stated. “But I will if you try to stop me.” His other hand opened and a bright orange flame erupted, tinged with wisps of black. An alarmed cry made Edwin feel like garbage, but he held the flame on his palm. In control, but ready to attack.

The crow flew off then, shrill caws on his way. Edwin took a deep breath and extinguished the fire, wiping his hand on his coat. He pocketed his notebook and climbed the stairs. Fortunately, he went in as easily as he had done for Becky.

By the time Edwin had found the dagger, and snatched a book that looked like it had been involved in the creation of the ghastly machine that so much pain it had caused him; it was already too late. He felt a pulse of energy from outside, and cursed under his breath. He could try to undo the spells on the mirrors of the house, but that would take too long. So he sighed and marched outside.

“Edwin, Edwin, Edwin. You don't write, you don't call…” the Cat King said with a fake moue. Edwin looked up and saw Monty flying in circles above their heads. Little snitch , he thought, resentful.

“Cat King.” he said, nodding in respect, trying to walk around him. “I'm just leaving.” But diplomacy never worked on him.

“Tsk, tsk, tsk.” The other man clicked his tongue, stepping in Edwin’s path. The ghost boy stopped where he was, not willing to get closer.

“What do you think you are doing, entering the house of the Wicked Witch of the West?” The shapeshifter asked, sauntering around him. He was wearing heeled boots, and it added a little height difference that irked Edwin.

“I already have what I came here looking for. Now, if you please, I'm in a hurry.” Edwin tried to give another step, but the Cat King walked closer again, forcing him to step back. He was not putting himself in reach again. Monty cowed, flying faster, agitated.

“No. I don't think I please.” he tilted his head. “Knowledge like Esther's is dangerous. And I just can't let you leave with something dangerous.” The trickster’s tone was still playful, and it was grating on Edwin’s nerves.

“Knowledge is just knowledge.” the detective said, exasperated. “And I'm not asking you for permission.” he countered, snappish, head held high. “You're wasting my time .” The Cat King’s eyes shone.

“You should always have time for me, dear.” he said, smile cutting. “I can always just trap you here again, Edwin.” He offered, the smile still on.

“...And I can always start killing your subjects until you let me leave. But we are not doing that, are we, Thomas? ” he smirked back, biting. There was something cold in those green eyes that made the shifter want to shiver. The faint wisps of black coming up from the ground were certainly unnerving. Monty screeched in alarm and abruptly landed on a branch several metres down.

“You know my name.” the Cat King realised, stepping back.

“I do. I know a lot of things about you now.” the ghost added, taking a step forward. “You like to play games . But I already knew that, from last time.” Edwin took another step closer. “The difference is, Charles is not with me right now. And I don't have a lot of patience for games when he is in danger.” he snarled.

“So that is why you're doing this? For him? You came all the way to America, to the house where you were tortured in, just for him ?” Thomas asked, indignant.

“I would do many more things for him.” Edwin stated, staring right into those yellow eyes, daring. The shifter scoffed, leaning closer, looking down at the ghost.

“Like threatening me?” The man asked, incredulous.

“I'm not threatening you. I'm warning you.” Edwin said, looking up, teeth bared. It looked more like a show of aggression from a cornered animal than a smile. “You're either on my side, or standing in my fucking way. And I'll get through anything standing in my way to get to him.” Their faces were only a few centimetres apart now, noses almost touching.

Thomas knew, in that moment, that Edwin was being completely honest. He seemed not to care a single bit what could happen to him as long as he could leave to go help his little friend. Nor what enemies he could leave behind. The Cat King felt a bit peeved about it, quite hot under the collar, and a lot jealous. That kind of loyalty to another person, to the point of detriment to yourself? He’d never felt it nor had he had it. It was alluring , damn it.

“Deathly little thing, aren’t you?” he whispered to this mysterious boy, unwillingly feeling more attracted to him still. The tension between them finally broke when Edwin’s lips formed a teasing smile and his eyes softened a little.

“Only when I have to.” he whispered back, before breaking his gaze and pressing the faintest of kisses on Thomas’ jaw, surprising him. He then sidestepped him and walked out of the yard.

By the time the Cat King turned around, Edwin was already jumping into a puddle, travelling to where he needed to be. Monty cowed twice and Thomas felt the hidden amusement.

“Oh, shut it, bird-boy. Like you didn’t defy your witch for him, even after he rejected you.” he snapped.

—-- —-- —--

Charles woke up all at once, gasping. He was sopping wet and chained to the ceiling. The metal of the chains was iron, and they were burning every part of his body that touched them. He was still only wearing his trousers, felt his extremities numb with cold and some of his curls had crusted over with ice.

When his eyes got used to the dim room, he could see it was the same basement he had been trapped in since the beginning. The only real difference was that he wasn’t alone this time. There was a woman on the corner, deep in the shadows. For what he could see, she was pretty fit. Charles might have looked twice if he had seen her on the street. But with her wild blonde hair, tight red dress and tall boots; she looked like she was wearing a halloween costume that couldn’t decide if it was vampire or witch. A large white spider, with its eyes closed, peacefully placed inside her hair didn’t help matters. He had almost missed it.

“You’re finally awake!” she cheered, getting closer. “Now we can finally get started .” her grin was dangerous and the boy felt a shiver go down his spine.

Taking advantage of the fact that his feet barely touch the ground, she spun him around, making him lose balance. His knee buckled under him and his whole weight was left suspended from his shoulders until he managed to find his footing again. He was trembling even worse after that, and tears of frustration began leaking from his eyes.

“Are you crying? How cute .” she cooed, grabbing his face and licking the trail the drop had left on his cheek. ”I’d give you a comfort kiss, but I don’t snog anyone that’s not my man.”

“You. Are. Crazy.” Charles said, leaning away from her. The spider opened its eyes and winked with half of them, waving two of its legs. The shivers got worse.

“Don’t be like that, poppet. Everything I’m doing is for love.”

“ Love ?” he repeated, sceptical.

“Yes! I’m gonna get the love of my life back, and you’re gonna help me.”

“I don’t know anything about love potions or spells; we don’t mess with that shite.” Charles explained, weary. The witch snorted, the spider wiggled, like it was laughing too. (Was this her familiar? Did it share the same amount of sentience as Monty? Somehow, that thought was terrifying).

“Pffff, I don’t mean like that . My boo and I were tragically separated when he was killed by the police and then he got dragged to Hell! ” she huffed. “Like, what even? I just want him back .”

Usually, Charles was willing to give everyone a chance to explain themselves. It’s not like the system was flawless. Good souls could be sent to Hell, like it had happened with Edwin.

However, since he was still shivering from the literal torture this woman had put him through (torture she implied her ‘boo’ would enjoy); he would go out on a limb an bet the bloke completely deserved his tenure in Hell.

“And why was he killed by the police?” he asked anyway, already tired of dealing with this. The chat was a step up from the freezing water, but the talk itself so far was three steps down from the earlier solitude.

“Because his stupid best friend and he decided to rob a bank!” she exclaimed, clearly miffed. This time, when she grabbed him to spin him around, her nails left deep scratches, burning and bleeding. This bitch had iron in her nail polish, apparently. “They were caught doing that. I mean, you have to give it to the pigs. They really messed up on that one.”she laughed. “They were caught and got done in as fucking robbers. They didn't even search their flat! They just killed them and left them at the morgue. They never found out that we were the ones dropping the mangled bodies everywhere.”

“You're sick.” Charles said, swallowing, as he found his rooting again.

“Oh, baby, of course I am. Didn't I tell you already? I love making people break, playing with them.” She licked her lips, seductive. The ghost boy just felt nauseous. “What I love even more is watching my man do it for me. And that's why you're going to help me bring him back.”

“From Hell ?” He asked, incredulous. “Even if I wanted to, I couldn't help you. Edwin is the one with the knowledge of Hell and its paths, not me. You chose the wrong one of us to kidnap.”

“I don’t think I did. Word is, you are the one that I saved him from hell this time.” she smiled. She put her extended arm on his shoulder and placed her weight on the claw-like nails sinking in the muscle there. He felt blood dripping down his back. The spider began walking down her shoulder and onto her arm. Leaning in until their faces almost touched, she looked him dead in the eyes, despite his efforts to keep the blasted thing in his line of sight.

“I did, yeah.” He admitted. “But I had help. I had someone else, much more powerful than I or you ever could be. They opened a portal down to Hell and they kept it open until we got back. You can't do that.” He swallowed. “Can you?” he couldn’t stop himself from asking, now looking at the spider.

Cursing, she pushed him back and started roaming the room, hands wildly gesturing. The spider had quickly climbed up to her head again. Charles had lost his balance and was spinning again, but at least that beast was not near him. He took her cursing as a negative to his question. Charles wanted to believe this was good news (he dreaded the thought of that man anywhere but Hell), but you never knew how others were going to react when you didn’t give them the information they wanted. This woman? Completely bonkers. Hopefully she would just let him in here, until Edwin rescued him. Suddenly, she stopped in the middle of the basement.

“Hmm, maybe I can't open up a portal. But I can make a deal with a demon so that I can get into hell.” She was smiling again. “And you will help me find my way out.”

“A deal with a demon is a terrible idea. Besides, lady, even if I tell you all I know about hell, which I won’t do. The level Edwin was at? It was terrible, but it wasn't that deep. The level your boo must be in… it has to be one of the deepest and darkest ones, just based on what you describe me you two did, to people.”

“I can think of a few things I can offer the demon so that he helps me.” she countered, now pensive instead of agitated.

“Like what?”

“Like you, your soul. Essence, whatever. Or one of the others’.” Charles was almost afraid to ask.

“Others?”

“Oh, yeah. I've been collecting little souls as gifts for my boyfriend when he comes back. Since, you know, he won't be able to interact with the living now he is dead and will become a ghost.”

“... Little souls?” he asked again, disgusted. He tried leaning away, but she plunged her nails into his face to keep his eyes on her.

“Yeah, the souls of little ones!” she smiled, and it was a terrible smile. A wild hunger seemed to seep from her feverish eyes. “He's not that much into kids. He prefers young people, teenagers, you know.” she winked at him, suggestive.

“So he's a paedophile, but not that much of a paedophile?” Charles mocked, deciding to ignore the implications.

She let go of his face only to slap him hard, hard enough to leave deep gouges from the iron on the nails she wore.

“He hates that word!” she screamed, offended. “He just… really loves young people.” The sheer incredulity must have shown on his face, because she just continued. “Anyways, I was collecting these souls so he could play with them when he comes back, you know? I bet he will be in a foul mood, and I just thought 'well what better way to cheer him up than letting him blow off some steam on a couple souls he will find pleasing?’ ' I took great care in ensuring they were innocent, as well. The responses to all the pain and the bit of little pleasure here and there that we can teach them are always the best .” she sighed, dreamy. “And ghosts are so much more resilient! We can play with you and play with you and play with you until you break.” She said, eyes evaluating him up and down. “And then we can start all over again!” she laughed.

Charles puked all over the floor.

"You truly are," he said in disgusted awe " the most despicable person I've ever met. And a few months ago I was at the mercy of a witch that cannibalised little girls. "

“Oh, cannibalism.” she hummed. “That sounds fun, doesn’t it, Ari?” she cooed at her familiar, reaching for the thing. “You have to get me her number.” she said to him.

Charles spat at her. It barely touched her face before she shrieked and sent him crashing to the back of the room. The chains had fallen from the ceiling and onto his torso, burning him terribly.

“And you need to learn some manners." She said as he screamed from the sudden agony. Then she turned her back on him and walked towards the door. "I guess I will just leave you to repeat the cycle until you have had enough."

Charles’ last coherent thought before he was dropped under the thick frozen layer of water of the lake instead of through the ice as always, was that Edwin and he would absolutely need to save those poor spirits.

—-- —-- —--

“That took longer than you said it would.” Crystal said as soon as he stepped through the mirror into the office. “Did the house not let you in?” she asked, remembering how they had just phased through the walls last time.

“The house gave me no problem at all.” Edwin answered, placing the knife on the desk. “It was Monty, actually.” he explained, with a grimace. “I had an encounter with the Cat king,” Crystal’s eyebrow went up “but not much came out of it. He was very insistent about not letting any kind of knowledge leave that witch's house.” He took off his coat and his gloves and, uncharacteristically, threw them onto the couch. It was the only free surface, she supposed. “Which would normally be a good thing, but in these circumstances, I could not abide by it.”

“And did he give you any trouble?” she questioned, sceptical.

“He tried to threaten me, so I just…threatened him back.” Edwin said, unbuttoning his cuffs and rolling up his sleeves, trying to play it off as unimpressive. Yeah, Crystal was not gonna let that one slide.

“ You threatened the Cat King?” she said, incredulous. “He left you trapped in Port Townsend for weeks!”

“Ah, but I didn't know anything about him back then.” He countered. “And I wasn't dabbling in anything more dangerous than usual. And perhaps the most important thing of all…” Edwin started, leafing through his notes.

“...It was you in danger, not Charles.” Crystal interrupted, finishing the idea.

“Exactly.” He said, pleased that she understood this about him by now.

As they began prepping the materials for this massive ritual, she managed to corroborate that it was far beyond anything they had shown her so far. The ritual seemed so complicated. Beyond the dagger that he had to pick up from the other side of the world, it required them to move every single piece of furniture against the walls, then grabbing the bathroom mirror for a later use.

After that, they placed a bedsheet on the floor, drawing a big circle on it with black chalk, and drew a set of runes inside it, near the centre. Then Edwin grabbed Charles' backpack, and took out a bottle full of a viscous dark liquid. He then lit a dozen candles inside the marked circle, each one in its specific place. A wave of different smells assaulted Crystal’s nose. She supposed that ghosts weren’t bothered by it since they couldn't smell much. She tried very hard not to sneeze.

Edwin retrieved two different cups from a cupboard, one made from silver and one from crystal, and poured the liquid from the bottle inside the silver one. For the other, he took out Esther’s knife from his pocket and sliced his forearm with it. Blood tinted with ectoplasm began to pour inside the empty cup, and once it was three quarters full he removed the wound from it to avoid overspilling. He slid two fingers over the wound and the black smoke that was becoming familiar to Crystal ate up the blood and sealed the wound. Then, he reached for Charles' chain around his neck and took it off. Gently, he let it fall inside the cup that had his blood. He took a big piece of parchment paper, those old ones that you see only in movies, yellowed with age, thick, and coarse to the touch.

With a grimace, he sank his fingers into the first cup. A low hum came from his throat, sounding almost like words but not really. He began writing symbols with the blood onto the parchment. With the other hand, he began tracing the same symbols again, on another blank sheet of parchment, on top of the first one. These symbols were mirrored, and written with his own blood from the second cup. Once he was done, a string of Latin came out of his lips, and the second set of symbols lifted up in the air, glowing golden light, and fused into the first set, on the first sheet of parchment. The other parchment disintegrated as soon as the last trace of blood left the paper.

Edwin let out a breath Crystal hadn't noticed he was holding. Done, he took the parchment, and began ripping it in pieces, keeping each symbol inside its own square of paper, and placed the symbols inside the circle according to the instructions written down by his own hand. The bloody symbols then sank through the paper and sealed themselves to the linen fabric. Edwin waved his hand and all the blank pieces of paper flew from the array. Then he took the necklace from inside the second cup and put it into the first cup.

He took the bathroom mirror, and placed it in the middle of the circle array spell, then took the necklace out of the cup and flicked it in the air where it remained still, frozen in place at about two metres high. The symbols on the bedsheet and the blood on the necklace pulsed with golden energy every couple of heartbeats.

“I need you,” he started to say, very clearly, “to not, for any reason, enter the circle.”

“All right” she said, heart beating like crazy.

“Whatever I ask you to bring me, you will put it inside the circle without touching inside it.”

“Okay.”

“Okay.” Edwin repeated, breathing deep. He knelt beside the foggy mirror on the floor and began writing on it with his finger. At the same time, he spoke up, to keep her in the loop. “Charles? Are you there?”

Charles

are you there?

#fear your sins not your monsters #payneland #painland week #edwin payne #charles rowland #edwin x charles #dead boy detectives #dbda

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mimisempai · 3 months

Text

You're the only light in my blurry world 6/10

Chapter summary

With some time on his hands, Crowley decides to pay Aziraphale a surprise visit.

But he's the one in for a surprise.

Who is this stranger acting so familiar with Aziraphale?

Is there storm on the way?

On Ao3

Rating G - 2907 words

Masterpost for this fic : here

Crowley was gathering the materials he'd used for his presentation when a gentle knock at the door made him look up.

It was the head of the planetarium's education department.

"Hello, Crowley, I came to inform you that we had to close the main amphitheater due to a technical problem, so there will be no sessions this afternoon."

Crowley nodded and asked, "What am I supposed to do instead?"

The manager shook his head and replied, "You have the afternoon off. Since you've been working here, attendance has increased significantly. You've earned it."

"Glad to know that, thank you."

"I'm the one thanking you. Have a good day and see you tomorrow."

"See you tomorrow."

Crowley finished packing his things and then left the planetarium, wondering what he would do with his afternoon.

Maybe he could do some drawing.

That made him think of Aziraphale.

He took out his phone to read their last conversation, which made him smile again.

I'm looking forward to Thursday.

PS: You're even more beautiful after being kissed.

Send at 11:15 am

Don't send me messages like that anymore!

I had to explain to Maggie and Nina (his girlfriend)

why I was blushing.

Received at 2:05 p.m.

Oh, what did you tell them?

Sent at 2:06 pm

The truth, of course.

That it was because of a message from my boyfriend.

(I hope you don't mind me telling them)

Received at 2:07 pm

It hadn't been hard, knowing Aziraphale's history with James, his ex-boyfriend, to understand that he was worried about Crowley's reaction to talking openly about their new relationship. So even though he couldn't call him because he was at the planetarium, Crowley had written back immediately to reassure him.

Of course I don't mind.

You can shout it from the rooftops.

Even put an ad in the paper.

No, even better! You can put up a poster

in your bookshop.

It would say: "I, Aziraphale Fell, am dating the

gorgeous Anthony Crowley."

Sent at 2:11 pm

At least it would help me get rid of

customers who might flirting with me.

Received at 2:13 pm

Crowley remembered the overwhelming feeling of jealousy that had come over him when he'd read this.

All the more reason to make this poster.

Right now.

Sent at 2:14 pm

Possessive?

Received at 2:15 pm

Crowley couldn't deny it, but he also didn't want to upset his lover in the early stages of their relationship, so he had been slow to find an appropriate response to send. That's why he had received a second message from Aziraphale after the previous one.

I like it.

I'm seriously considering doing this poster now.

;-)

Received at 2:17 pm

The exchange of messages continued in this playful tone until Crowley returned to work.

Closing his phone as he reached his car, Crowley sighed, realizing that he missed Aziraphale and that it was hard to believe he'd have to wait another 48 hours before seeing him again.

Wait. He had the afternoon off.

Why should he wait? The only commitment he had was a meeting later that evening.

He knew now what he would do this afternoon.

He was going to visit a bookseller who wasn't expecting him.

So, half an hour later, he parked his Bentley at the end of the street and quietly made his way to the bookshop at the corner.

Moments later, he walked past the window and, turning his head to see if Aziraphale was inside, saw him and another man.

Crowley immediately sensed that this was no ordinary customer.

He slowed his pace, keeping a discreet lookout, then saw Aziraphale shake his head. The other man put his hand on his arm, and when Crowley saw Aziraphale back away, he had to stop himself from rushing into the bookshop. Then he saw the man nod and walk away from Aziraphale.

Just as Crowley reached the door, the man, who was handsome, stepped out and turned to say Aziraphale inside the bookshop, "I won't make the same mistake, Zira. I've changed."

Zira?

Then he waved a small pendant he wore around his neck and added, "Now you'll always recognize me, thanks to this."

I don't need a pendant for him to recognize me.

Crowley waited until the man with the pendant had disappeared around the corner, then took a step toward the door.

"Crowley? "

Crowley froze as he recognized the voice and turned to say in a harsh tone, "What the hell are you doing here? Are you following me?"

"Hey, is that any way to talk to your father?"

Crowley shook his head and replied, "You are not my father. You lost the right to call me your son the day you ran off and emptied the accounts, leaving us with nothing."

He felt nothing but loathing for the man before him.

He remembered his mother's tears when she'd tried to excuse him, then when she'd run out of arguments. He remembered her drawn features and all the evenings he'd spent alone at home because of the jobs she'd had to pile up to support them. Never complaining. Always trying to give him the best.

No, this man was not his father.

"You didn't answer my question, were you following me?"

The man in front of him looked at him and sneered, "No, I was having a beer in the pub across the street and what a surprise to see my dear son through the window. Look at you. Things seem to be going well for you. Life is not so hard, it seems. Do you have a small bill for your poor father?"

Crowley felt the anger that had been building inside him since the beginning of the conversation about to explode, so he clenched his fists and tried to control himself.

The other man continued, "Oh, come on, you seem to be doing all right for yourself, and besides, I'm sure that rich father-in-law your mother sold herself to must be spoiling you..."

Crowley grabbed the man by the neck and angrily shouted, "Say that again!"

"Crowley."

The soft voice made him turn his head and Crowley saw Aziraphale raise a hand toward him as he advanced.

His lover repeated softly, "You'll regret it if you do that."

Crowley slowly released the man and Aziraphale came to stand in front of him, between him and his so-called father.

"Sir, I must ask you to leave immediately. You are harassing a very dear friend, and if you continue, I won't be as nice as I seem."

"I advise you to listen to him."

It was Nina who had just arrived, accompanied by Maggie, who continued, "I have a friend who's a cop and owes me a favor, I can call him and he'll be here in a minute."

Crowley's father tried one last bravado and took a step toward Aziraphale, saying, "Are you threatening me?"

"You're the threat, we're just protecting someone we care about."

Crowley felt Aziraphale's hand slide down his arm and grab his own, squeezing it tightly.

Crowley's father grumbled, and as he turned to go back to the pub, Aziraphale added, "I would suggest not going back there, the owner is also a friend. To be clear, this is our street and you're persona non grata."

"You!"

Maggie waved her hand.

"Bye-bye!"

Crowley's father had no choice but to leave and Crowley watched him until he disappeared around the corner, then, his hand still in Aziraphale's, he turned to the small group and whispered, his throat tightening, "Thank you all."

Maggie approached, then hugged him briefly and said quietly, "You're welcome. Thanks to a certain bookseller, you're part of our little family here. And no one messes with one of our own."

Then she turned to Nina, who nodded in agreement before they both walked off in the direction of the coffee shop.

"Come on, Crowley, come with me."

In a daze, Crowley let Aziraphale lead him into the bookshop. He watched as he hung a small sign on the outside of the door before double locking it.

"Now we're safe."

Crowley let himself be dragged to the sofa where Aziraphale made him sit before saying softly, "I'll be right back."

Crowley saw him off to the back of the bookstore, realizing that he hadn't taken the time to look at Aziraphale's place the last time he was here. He gave a small smile because everything was so much like him. An eclectic mix of old things and books everywhere, but what stood out most was a feeling of warmth and comfort.

He sighed.

It was so welcome after what he'd just been through.

He felt bad for losing his temper and making a spectacle of himself.

What had Aziraphale been thinking?

"Here, drink this. It'll make you feel better."

Lost in thought, Crowley hadn't heard Aziraphale return and looked up at his lover handing him a steaming mug.

Crowley took it and inhaled before saying with a half-smile on his lips, "Hot chocolate? I'm not a kid."

Aziraphale sat down beside him and replied, "I know it calms me down after a stressful situation, so I thought..."

"I was just messing with you. Thanks, that's very thoughtful of you."

He blew on the chocolate and continued, looking embarrassed, "Look, I'm sorry about before. I know I never should have lost my t-"

"Stop that right now!"

Crowley looked at Aziraphale in surprise as his lover shook his head before continuing, "You don't have to apologize. The only one who needs to apologize is your father."

"Please don't call him that. Besides, how do you know it's my-"

Aziraphale replied quietly, "I overheard part of the conversation. Crowley, you had every right to be angry after the horrible things he said, and if I intervened, it wasn't for him, it was for you. Only for you."

Crowley took a sip of chocolate and replied, "Thank you, because I think I would have come to blows with him. I guess I owe you some explanations, I-"

Aziraphale interrupted him again and said quietly, "You don't owe me any explanations. Only if you feel like talking about it."

Crowley replied, "I do. I need to."

Aziraphale gently placed his hand on Crowley's knee and said softly, "Then I'll listen. Whenever you want. Whenever you're ready."

Crowley first emptied his cup of chocolate, then set it down before placing his hand on Aziraphale's and squeezing it tightly.

Then he told him about his childhood, how his father had left him and his mother, the difficult consequences, but also how his mother had done everything she could to give him a happy childhood, and she had succeeded. He told him how she and her boss had fallen in love a few years ago.

"I know it's a cliché, the secretary and the boss. But nothing my f- this man implied was true. She didn't do it for the money. She even resigned, against her soon-to-be lover's advice, when they decided to be together, to avoid the rumors, and she found a job elsewhere, on her own, and only then did she agree to go out with him. She's not-"

Aziraphale said reassuringly, "Hey, you don't have to justify anything. I'm sure your mother is a wonderful woman. You just have to know her son to know that."

Crowley blushed slightly and continued, "Anyway, they got married and five years ago I got a little sister, Sarah."

"Ohhh you have a little sister!"

Aziraphale's emboldened interruption made Crowley smile and he replied, "Yes, and even though she's a little brat, I adore her."

As he spoke, Crowley realized he'd like to introduce his sister to Aziraphale; he had a feeling the two of them would get along perfectly.

Wow wow wow, stop, they hadn't even had their first date and he already wanted to introduce him to his family.

"By the way, what are you doing here?"

His lover's question came at just the right moment.

"I wanted to surprise you."

He chuckled and added, "And I was the one who was surprised."

More than once, in fact, Crowley thought, remembering the other man who'd been in the bookshop when he'd arrived.

As if Aziraphale had read his mind, he said with a half smile, "Well, looks like it's surprise visit day."

Crowley asked innocently, "Oh, yeah?"

Aziraphale nodded and replied, "Yes, I had a visit from... James."

Crowley s'exclama, "James as in James your ex-boyfriend?"

Aziraphale nodded again.

"You mean that handsome guy who came out of your shop earlier was James?"

"You saw him?"

"I arrived just as he was leaving. What did he want with you?"

Aziraphale began to play with a thread from his shirt sleeve and replied, "Well, he wanted us to make up. He said he wanted to make an effort to understand me..."

Crowley interrupted coldly, "And since you're nice, you agreed, didn't you?"

"No, of course not, you idiot!"

"No?"

Aziraphale replied, looking irritated, "Is that what you think of me? That just because he comes crawling back, I'm going to forgive him and we're going to go back to the way things were? I'm telling you again, you idiot, I chose you. There isn't even a choice, you're my first choice. You're the one I am i... I mean, you're the one I want to be with."

Crowley replied, "But as he was leaving, he said this thing about thinking about it again, he even had this pendant that you could recognize him."

Aziraphale sighed and replied, "He talked about being friends. After I made it clear that I had someone in my life now who made me much happier than he did, he suggested we stay friends, but I said no, I'm not ready for that. Especially not now that I know what it's like to have real friends who won't let you down in a hard time."

"You said I make you happy?"

Aziraphale nodded and Crowley insisted, "But how? We barely know each other. I mean, you make me happy too, but..."

The bookseller smiled tenderly and replied, "What can I say? That my heart beats faster knowing I'm going to see you soon, that it beats faster when my phone vibrates in my pocket because I hope it's a message from you, that there's not an hour of the day I don't think about you, that I really want to tell everyone I have a lover, that Maggie told me she's never seen me glow like this. Crowley, these last few days, just thinking about you has made me happier than I've been in a long time. None of the memories I have with James thrill me the way every memory with you does. And I know that we're just getting started. That there's a lot we don't know about each other. But one thing I'm sure of is that I'm in this for the long haul. Crowley, I don't know how to convince you, but..."

"Stop, you convinced me, Aziraphale, you convinced me."

With those words, Crowley leaned forward and pressed his lips to Aziraphale's in a kiss that had nothing to do with the brief kiss they had shared on the doorstep the day before. There was no hesitation as they tested the sensation of their lips pressed together. No hesitation in the way Aziraphale's mouth opened to welcome Crowley's tongue. No hesitation in the way their breath mingled. No hesitation in the way Aziraphale's hands buried themselves in Crowley's hair to deepen the kiss.

No hesitation as it went on and on until they were forced to catch their breath.

Gasping, Aziraphale pulled away just enough to raise his fingers to Crowley's face, following the line of his jaw, studying his lover's face. He saw in Crowley's gaze the same sense of longing to continue the kiss, but also the fear of ruining everything by rushing in.

Crowley asked, his voice a little hoarse with the same emotion Aziraphale could feel in himself, "Are you okay?"

Aziraphale, far too moved to answer aloud, simply nodded.

Crowley, concerned, asked, "Do you want us to slow down a bit?"

Aziraphale, confused by all the emotions running through him, replied, "No, yes, I... I don't know."

Crowley laughed lightly and said, "I know, me too."

He planted a light kiss on his lover's lips and continued, "That's a lot of emotions in a few hours. For both of us."

He wrapped his arms around Aziraphale's shoulders and pulled him to his chest, leaning back against the sofa.

"Let's keep it that way for now. We've got time."

Aziraphale nodded, immediately realizing that this was perfect and exactly what he needed.

After a moment he laughed softly and said playfully, "We still haven't had our first date."

"Well, we do things a little differently."

Aziraphale replied, "Look around, order isn't really my way of life."

Crowley pressed a kiss to his hair and replied softly, "I like it the way it is.

I like you.

He wrapped his arms around his lover, who snuggled even closer.

They spent the rest of the afternoon like this, savoring this new intimacy together, aware that they had overcome new obstacles and emerged unscathed.

Both knew exactly how they felt, even if they weren't ready to put it into words.

They had time.

_________

Still not beta'd

Still not my native language

Still hoping you'll enjoy this story 🥰

Still thanking you for bearing with me 😝

Ineffable Husbands masterlist : here

#good omens #aziracrow #ineffable husbands #ineffable boyfriends #aziraphale #crowley #good omens fanfiction #aziraphale x crowley #crowley x aziraphale #Human AU

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iamamythologicalcreature · 9 months

Text

Six Sentence Sunday/Creative Proof of Life

Thanks for the tags, @alexalexinii, @shrekgogurt, and @that-disabled-princess!

This WIP post is basically a proof of life statement. I can't believe it's been over a month since I posted Chapter 1 of the Haunting of Simon Snow. I'm so overdue for chapter 2, BUT... instead I finished writing the rough draft. I've been attempting to outline, because when I rough a draft, I really rough it up. Ahem.

So I have been working on it, even if there is zero evidence on AO3 as of yet.

How about some sentences? I haven't sliced up chapters yet, so not sure if this is from chapter two or three, but here's a snippet of Simon on the phone with Penny expressing some smooshy sentiments:

I curl up on the couch a bit more, maneuvering myself so my wings aren’t crushed. “I went flying last night,” I confess then, in quiet tones. Like someone might hear me. “You— Oh, but… You can’t! What if someone sees you?” I can actually hear her biting her lip. She wants to spell my problems away, and she can’t. “But I can,” I say, smiling a bit more. “There’s no one around for acres. No one will even willingly drive here on account of the house being haunted. It’s empty. And I’m flying at night.” I say flying in the present tense and realize I fully intend to fly again tonight.

Penny huffs. Her specialty. “I don’t like it.” “I do,” I say easily, warming up to explaining, hoping she’ll understand. “It’s so freeing, Pen. Like the weight of the world can’t hold me down, anymore. I feel… It’s like… It’s like I’m closer to the stars. Like I’m close to stirring up the milky way.” I let out a sigh, my eyes closing as I drop my head back, indulging in that recent memory. “I don’t hate it as much, when I’m up there. You know?” There’s a few seconds of silence, and I open my eyes again. “Pen?” “Hate what?” she asks quietly.

(just in case you were worried I wouldn't be including angst...)

Bit more info on my progress (maybe some whinging) and tags and hellos below the cut!

Fun facts about my ineffecient writing process:

I spent more than one or two hours clearing asterisks from my rough draft this morning. (Because discord has trained me to do *this* when I write instead of this.) Because I'm trying to listen to my draft via screen readers, but it keeps sounding like "asterisk-impossible-star-fuck me" (that's my favorite one honestly, it's supposed to read "Impossible. Fuck me.") which is really annoying (more often than amusing). ANYWAY… what this has revealed to me is that I use "Fuck" a lot, as well as "So good." Ahem. Take from that what you will.

BTW, I'm sure there's an easier way to do that than manually. Please don't tell me for at least a few days, or I might lose it. I am but a mortal being, with a tattered heart and patience worn thin. (Or something.)

OKAY. It's been awhile since I did one of these posts. Time really flies. Gonna give this list my best shot, but as always, open to any who want to participate! (Also adding some new names in for the new year so this is sort of my "Gee I hope this is cool with you" super long tag list. If you'd rather not be tagged, just drop me a missive to that effect!)

@leithillustration @prettygoododds @rimeswithpurple @artsyunderstudy @blackberrysummerblog @hushed-chorus @nightimedreamersworld @best--dress @whatevertheweather @ileadacharmedlife @scribble-tier @imagineacoolusername @brilla-brilla-estrellita @alleycat0306 @angelsfalling16 @fatalfangirl @erzbethluna @tender-ministrations @anxious-m3ss @ebbpettier @bubble-gumhead @facewithoutheart @bazzybelle @theimpossibledemon @aristocratic-otter @mooncello @cutestkilla @annabellelux @ic3-que3n @j-nipper-95 @letraspal @messofthejess @onepintobean @palimpsessed @raenestee @supercutedinosaurs @theearlgreymage @thewholelemon @wellbelesbian @you-remind-me-of-the-babe @youarenevertooold @bookish-bogwitch @martsonmars @orange-peony @mostlymaudlin @stardustasincocaine @confused-bi-queer

Lastly, quick note/question. Tumblr seems to be remiss in informing me when I've been tagged in other posts. Is this a common issue?

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braveclementine · 3 months

Text

Chapter 10

Warnings: None. (Will however be a 18+ reader book)

Copyright: I do not own any Marvel characters or locations. However, I do own a few OCs like Elizabeth, Katherine, Stacy, and Jessie. I do not condone any copying of this.

A week before all of you were supposed to be leaving for the Bahamas, you got another call from your dad.

Well, actually, he had been calling about four times every single day since the last time you had talked to him. But neither you nor your sister had bothered picking up when he called nor had you bothered replying to his messages. And the others had slowly gotten used to just ignoring the calls as well.

However, your father had spent nearly every hour sending in a call. It was interrupting the plans, and finally you picked up the phone.

"Hello?"

"Y/N." Your father's voice sounded relieved. "I've been trying to contact you for two weeks now."

"I know." You sighed. "But I really don't have the energy for another fight, okay?"

"Please, I want to be there for this, I want to be there for you. You're right. My and your mother never really wanted kids, but I still love you and Y/S/N. If I could do things over again, I would. Make more time for the both of you. Maybe then when. . . when your mother passed away I would've had. . . I'm sorry Y/N. I never meant to lash out at you or Y/S/N. It's just. . . it's so painful when your soulmate dies."

He sounded truly guilty and sad and apologetic. He really did sound sincere. But still, you couldn't just forget everything. How when you needed both him and your mother the most, they were busy with something 'more important'. And afterwards. . . Y/S/N still had a scar on her shoulder blade from that.

You let out a sigh. It had been a short period of time and now years had passed in between. Everyone deserved second chances. "You can come."

Sam looked up at those words.

"But I. . . I don't know if I'll have you walk me down the aisle." You finished. "There's a lot of mending between the both of us and also Y/S/N before I let you walk me down the aisle."

"That sounds fair." Your father sounded happy that you were giving him a second chance. "Where should I go? What should I do?"

"We're having the ceremony in the Bahamas." You said. "I can-"

Tony whipped the phone out of your hand, "Hello? Mr. Y/L/N? Yes, this is Tony Stark. One of the soulmates of your absolutely gorgeous daughter."

"What are you doing?" You hissed quietly, mortified. You really hoped Tony didn't say anything rude.

"I'm more than lenient to have a private jet fly out to your nearest airport and fly you to the Bahamas and also provide your stay for free. However, the minute that Y/N gets upset with you, you're on your own and all of the expenses fall right back on your head." Tony threatened. "The plane will be there in six hours, have a nice trip."

He hung up on my dad on my phone.

Stephen just shook his head, sighing.

"That was dramatic." You said, taking your phone from him.

"At least now he'll be on his best behavior." Tony said with a smirk, drawing you into his arms. "Oh I can't wait before you're ours."

You smiled a little, pecking Tony on the lips. "The feeling is very mutual."

"Have you decided whose going to be first?" Nat asked.

"First?" You questioned, turning out of Tony's arms to face her.

"Sure." Nat said with a shrug. "I mean, with so many soulmates, you can only lose your virginity to one of them."

You blushed scarlet. Sam just stared at Nat while Stephen turned his back to her, putting a hand to his head like he was frustrated. Tony just snorted. Clint poked his head out from the vent.

"I mean, sure you're going to bond with all of them in one night, but I don't think it would be a good idea for you to start with a super solider or a God for your first." Nat explained, "You should go with someone smaller in size. Or at least, not genetically enhanced."

"Damn." Sam said, shaking his head, "Guess you're losing it to Clint first."

"Oi!" Clint protested, falling out of the vent. "Why am I the smallest?"

"It's commonly known that black males have the biggest dicks." Sam said, raising an eyebrow.

Stephen walked over to Tony, putting his hands over his ears before dragging him out of the room. You were both mortified and amused at the conversation.

"Hey." Sam said, shrugging his shoulders as Clint scoffed, "Thor, Loki, Bucky, Steve, and I are out already from being enhanced. T'Challa, Rhodey, and Fury are black. Tony and Stephen already lost it to each other. Which leaves you. The white virgin."

Clint just stared at Sam for a moment and then grinned, "Yes! I get Y/N first!"

Sam just pursed his lips.

And then the floor dropped underneath you and you landed in Stephen's arms in the elevator.

"Well, hello there." You said before kissing his cheek. "How are you?"

Stephen sighed, "My poor babies had to listen to that conversation."

Tony blushed slightly at the nickname. So did you for that matter.

You giggled. "Well thank you for protecting our ears."

You might've added 'daddy' to the end of that sentence, but you didn't want to tease him anymore than they already were. You wait until all of you were properly bonded before you started teasing them relentlessly.

Stephen, Tony, and you ended up going to the New York Sanctorum. Stephen gave you a full tour or the rather large building. You even stepped into one of the climate portals for a short amount of time, though you didn't stay for long.

It was very interesting, seeing how many magical items there were in the different glass cases.

Tony kept trying to touch stuff, being the tinkerer that he was, but Stephen kept slapping his hands away from the stuff, before finally threatening to tie them behind his back. You giggled at the playful banter.

"STRANGE!" A voice shouted through the Sanctorum.

"WONG!" Stephen shouted back in the same exact tone.

"Ah, there you are." Wong said, climbing the stairs. Wong was descended from Tibetan Monks, which I found fascinating. Especially as Tibet was hidden from the world as China tried to pretend there was no Tibet.

China refuses to acknowledge the three T's: Taiwan, Tibet, and Tiananmen Square. They like to pretend that Taiwan and Tibet are still under their rule. And then also like to pretend that the Tiananmen Square massacre never took place.

"I was hoping that you could come to Kamar-Taj and assist with the training of some new recruits." Wong said, glancing over to us, looking apologetic.

"Yes, of course." Stephen said. "Tony, Y/N, would you like to come and visit?"

"Sure." Tony said.

"Um, if you don't think we'd be intruding." You said.

"Not at all." Wong said.

"Where is Kamar-Taj?" You asked as they led you down the stairs to where Stephen had shown the Sanctorum's connected with the others. Wong started to open up the one into Kamar-Taj.

"Tibet." He answered.

Ah, of course. Made sense.

Once you stepped through the portal, Stephen and Wong led the way up another flight of stairs and through some dim hallways lit with torches until you reached a courtyard like area. There were several rows of students there to learn. Wong, Stephen, and another female teacher quickly spread out amongst the others.

You and Tony quickly sat out of the way next to each other. He wrapped his arms around you as the two of you watched Stephen teach.

"He's so bloody handsome." You muttered.

"Isn't he just?" Tony sighed wistfully. "Hey, are you sure that you're okay with your dad coming to your wedding ceremony?"

You were silent for a moment and then replied with, "I thought it would be fair to give him a second chance. If he screws up, well we weren't exactly rich so it'll certainly be a bit of a pain in the ass for him if he, you know, screws up. I don't know. I'm more afraid for Y/S/N being around my father. She was the one who was more involved in his bad period because she was home more. I don't know though. . . I haven't had my soulmates for more than a year yet. And he and my mother were married for a pretty long time before she passed away."

"How did she die?" Tony asked softly.

"She was at one of those parades, I don't even remember what it was for. Some guy drove his semi truck through with the intent to kill. She just happened to be one of those victims."

"Sorry." Tony said softly.

"What about you? Parents, I mean?" You questioned.

"I grew up thinking they died in a car crash. Turns out HYDRA sent Barnes after them because my father had something they wanted. Super soldier serum vials I think. Bucky killed them."

"How can you stand behind in the same room as him?" You questioned.

"Well, it took a bit of self control and listening. But I knew it was HYDRA in his head, not him himself. Eventually I forgave him. He had been beating himself up over it for so long. The Bucky Steve knew, the one you know, he wouldn't hurt a fly. It's a good thing Shuri was able to help him."

You nodded, "Good. It's already pretty awkward between Loki and Phil."

"Ah well, the difference there is Loki actually killed Coulson." Tony said. "Although admittedly, he was also being mind manipulated by an alien so there's some leniency."

You were quiet for a moment, "You don't think it was a mistake? Inviting my dad?"

"No." Tony said quietly as we watched Stephen create a glowing sword down below us. "My father was also fairly absent in my life. I wish I could've given him a second chest."

You turned your body so that you could hug him from the front.

A few moments later, you heard Stephen's voice behind you, "Well don't you two just look adorable."

You turned to see him standing there, sliding his sling ring off his finger and into his pocket. You got to your feet, barreling into him for a hug. Stephen wrapped his arms around you, pulling you against his chest. "Hey there sweetheart. Ready to head home?"

You nodded. You heard Stephen call out a good-bye to Wong before the three of you headed back to New York.

Upon walking back up the stairs though, Stephen flung an arm out to stop you from walking. He moved slightly to hide you.

Peeking around him, you saw a slightly handsome African American man standing there.

"Mordo, what are you doing here?" Stephen questioned. You noticed his sling ring was back on his finger. Tony had his Iron repulsor gloves on, hands raised slightly if he needed to shoot.

The man that Stephen had called Mordo crossed his arms over his chest, "You know what I'm here for, Stephen."

"And you won't get-" Stephen said firmly.

"I wasn't asking." Mordo said, shaking his head, pulling out an electric sword.

"Tony get her out." Stephen said, taking up a defensive position almost immediately as Mordo charged.

"Stephen!" You shouted as Tony wrapped an arm around your waist, kicking off to go through the glass ceiling. However, all that happened was you ended up flying through a portal which put the both of you in front of Mordo. Tony quickly shoved you out of the way.

You went sprawling across the marble floor as he ducked one of the swings of Mordo's sword. Stephen lashed out with a glowing whip as you scrambled to your feet.

You were quick in pulling out your phone.

Y/N 🥖: SOS Sanctorum. Angry Wizard

God 1 🔨🌩: On our way

God 2 💚: Portal out

Thor suddenly smashed through the front doors, sending a streaking bolt of lightning towards the dark skinned wizard. He deflected rather quickly and you dropped to the floor to avoid being electrocuted.

Steve and Bucky were next through the doors. Steve threw his shield, which got deflected by a mirror. Steve quickly ducked to avoid being decapitated by his own shield.

Bucky didn't dare start shooting, instead trying to get to you. But Mordo portaled him to who knew where.

"Bucky!" You shouted as the portal closed up.

A few other wizards started to jump down, fighting against the others.

Suddenly, you felt a cold feeling wash over you. "Shh, not a sound." Loki's voice whispered in your ear, "I'm cloaking you. We're invisible. Start making your way towards the door."

You couldn't see Loki and you had to assume that he was right there with you as you started to walk towards the door. You hoped Bucky was safe, wherever he was, and you hoped that the others would get out of this okay.

"Where'd she go?" Mordo shouted.

Was he after you? Why?

"Faster." Loki's voice was urgent in your voice and you started running, hoping that you weren't making any noise as you did so.

The doors slammed shut right before you could've gotten out of them and you heard Loki curse.

You reached around blindly, grabbing his hand, starting to drag him back towards where Stephen and Tony were still fighting Mordo. He tugged on your hand, trying to get you to slow down.

Steve and Nat were fighting another four wizards, while Thor was slowly but surely taking down the six that were against him.

You dragged Loki carefully, but quickly past Stephen and Tony, back down the stairs. Loki sped up once he realized that you had an escape plan in line. You quickly opened up the door to Kamar-Taj and stepped through.

Loki lifted the spell immediately and you could see him there. He had a slight scratch across one of his cheeks, but though it was red, it wasn't bleeding.

He gripped your hand tighter as the two of you ran through the building. "Wong?" You shouted. "Wong?"

Wong approached very soon, "Y/N?" He stopped short upon seeing Loki, "Where's Stephen and Tony?"

"They're back in the New York Sanctorum with Thor and Steve. Mordo is attacking them but he brought a few Wizards with him and Stephen is the only magician there." You explained through quick puffs of breath.

Wong nodded, "I need you two to stay here." He called out to a few wizards who all got ready, lifting off a bunch of staffs that you assumed were something like Mordo's glowing lightsaber stick thing and Wong hurried the way the two of you had come.

He left a few other wizards there for your protection in case their was another onslaught of fighters. You weren't sure if that was normal, but you felt to sick with worry to care about it.

"Are you alright?" Loki asked as he led you to an area so that the two of you could sit down.

"Physically." You answered, "But where did he send Bucky!? What if. . . what if sent him to a volcano or the middle of the ocean!? What if-" Your voice choked off at the end and you crumpled forward to cry into Loki's shoulder.

"It's alright Y/N, it's okay. You'd know if Bucky was in danger." Loki said softly. "The fact that there is nothing happening to your soulmate bond that is linked to him means that he is not feeling any pain, nor is he dead. Those are both good things."

You nodded as your tears subsided. "No pain and no death."

"Exactly."

"The others will be okay, right?" You asked, needing reassurance.

"I'm sure. They managed to survive everything else before."

"Why did he want me?"

"I have no idea. Probably because he would see you as. . . a way to get to Stephen." Loki explained. "I'm afraid having the Avengers as soulmates is going to put a rather large target on your back my Queen. But we'll protect you with everything we have."

You kissed Loki's cheek before settling into his arms while you waited. It seemed like an eternity, but only fifteen, maybe twenty minutes later, Wong came back with his group, Stephen, Tony, Steve, Thor, and Nat following behind.

You leapt to your feet, rushing over to Stephen. "Are you okay. You're bleeding. Can you find Bucky? Everyone's okay, right?"

Your questions were rushed as you grabbed a tissue and started dabbing at the cut lines along Stephen's cheek.

"He bleeds all the time." Tony sighed, "It's his trademark to come back from a fight with at least three bloody scratches on his face."

Your lips twitched a little while Stephen rolled his eyes. "Everyone's alright Y/N. And it will take some time, but I think with the help of FRIDAY and a few magic tricks, we should be able to find Bucky within an hour of two. Depends on where he ended up."

You nodded frantically as you finished dabbing at Stephen's scratches.

Steve looked absolutely terrible. He wasn't hurt, but it was obvious that Bucky disappearing had done a number on him. You attended him next, wrapping your arms tightly around his chest. He hugged you back, almost as tightly.

"We'll find him Steve." You murmured. "He's going to be okay."

Steve just nodded, his cheek brushing with yours as he did so.

Stephen ushered all of you back to the Sanctorum before portaling you all back to Avengers tower. Once there, Tony got to work on using FRIDAY to see if she could use all of the cameras in the world to help narrow down potential spots that Bucky might be.

While that was happening, Pietro had called the girl named Makkari, and they both decided to run around their respective hemispheres and see if they could locate Bucky and help save time.

You felt utterly useless, sitting on the couch next to Rhodey who had an arm around your shoulder, fingers softly moving up and down your arm in a comforting motion.

Your leg kept bouncing up and down in anxiety before Clint finally pulled you up off the couch to take you to the kitchen.

"I can't eat, I feel sick." You muttered.

"Well, you're going to have to eat." Clint said. "Buck will be fine, you'll see. Now eat, it wouldn't do to get sick before our wedding now, would it?"

You managed a small smile with Clint's enthusiasm and persistence. "I just. . . sometimes I wish I could locate where my soulmates were."

"That would be nice, wouldn't it?" Clint asked, moving around the kitchen and then pausing, "I don't actually really know how to make anything so. . ."

You giggled, feeling just a little bit lighter. Maybe Clint was just trying to distract you, but it was working.

"We should make dinner for everyone." You decided.

"But that's like forty people." Clint said. "We should just order pizza."

You rolled your eyes, "I actually already had preparations ready for dinner for tonight."

You opened up the refrigerator, pulling out several large, blue glass bowls with plastic wrap over them.

"Oh? What are you making?" Clint asked in interest as you started to preheat the oven and undo the plastic wrap.

You smirked at him evilly, "Spicy Chicken legs."

⬅️➡️

21 notes · View notes

toorusluvr · 9 months

Text

❥ ҉ CHAPTER SIX - WHAT ABOUT US?

❥ ҉ NOTE FROM NIS: hello hello! an update after more than a year geez i'm so sorry. life got in the way! anyway, i decided to finish this fic before this year ends (time is ticking for me lol at least it's an accomplishment!!) this chapter carries mental health issues and toxic relationships. wow semi is being a dickhead in this chapter (spoiler alert) he reminds me so much of my ex LOL anyway i hope you enjoy reading this update! as usual, reblogs, likes, and comments are very very much appreciated!!

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The cafe used to be your dating place with Semi felt empty even though there were customers inside. You were waiting for Semi, and surprisingly, Semi was 30 minutes late than the promised time. But, it was not surprising given the condition both of you were living in. You glanced over your watch countless times, breathing out a soft groan as you kept on looking over your phone as time passed by.

Another 20 minutes passed when he finally showed up. He made you wait for an hour! If that isn’t infuriating enough other than the fact that he also cheated behind your back. What a douchebag. But fuck is it easy to let him go. It’s not as easy as it may appear to others. Hands to God, you have tried. But each try ends in failure.

The man, Semi, was seen wearing his backpack over his shoulder, still neatly dressed in his school uniform though his tie was loose. The guy kept both of his hands inside of his pockets and he appeared relaxed while you were looking like you could explode any sooner. Sucker. He spotted you nearby the glass window with a frown look. His steps felt heavy with each drag, but he needed to see you one last time. He promised, this is the last time he'll hurt you.

Semi recognised that look you had on your face. You were upset with him, extremely disappointed was all over your face. And, you had every right to be upset with him. He loathes himself too, sometimes.

“We need to talk, Semi”, you mumbled softly, not wanting to start a fight with your boyfriend. You do not want to act like a crazy girlfriend, but yesterday’s incident was too much as it never happened before. Your eyes trailed his movements when he pulled out the chair in front of you. Semi took his seat and rested both of his hands on the table.

When things got worse between you and Semi, neither of you had ever cheated on one another.

“What is it?” Semi asked half-heartedly. His tone showed concern for your question.

You let out a soft sigh, not knowing where to begin. “Who were you with yesterday?” you asked with a slightly stern voice. His answer is what you needed the most. There's no way he would lie to you, right? He would convince you that it is not him, right? Right?

Fuck. How you wished that wasn’t him but it was as clear as day. Your stupid heart wouldn’t want to accept any other answer.

The last word came across as pleading in your mind. Heaven knew how pathetic you sounded at the moment when the truth was as clear as day.

Please, he would not lie to me... you prayed.

His action yesterday resulted in you overthinking last night if this relationship was worth risking yourself and your sanity, which was on the edge to begin with. Getting back together with him has always been a mistake. Who else could you blame other than yourself? You’re the one who puts yourself in this position.

“I was with my team, as usual. Why?” Semi replied, with no remorse. A liar, he calls himself. How many times does he have to keep lying to you? No. The real question is, what is holding him back from letting you go? Is it the fact that he can't stand seeing you with another person, or he just wanted to keep you for himself even though he has fallen out of love?

You scoffed, “You lied, Semi. Some girl sent me a snap of you guys being together. I don’t even know what you guys were doing, but why were you guys shirtless? I swear to God, Semi, if you slept with the girl, I don’t even know what I’ll do.”

Semi’s eyes widened at the statement. So you knew the truth already. Fuck that. He was just playing dumb. He knew you already knew. The girl showed the snap she sent to you with a proud smile all over her face and Semi couldn’t stop her.

He didn’t hesitate to stop her so he just let it be. Anything to prevent him from saying he wanted to break up with you.

“She’s just a friend, you know?” Semi paused before he spoke again. A friend? That's what pathetic liars tell their significant other every single time they are caught cheating.

“So it’s true that you did something that friends wouldn’t do?” you emphasised the term 'friend' he clearly misused. You felt your blood boiling when you spotted the lies hidden in his eyes.

He looked away from your face, letting out a frustrated sigh. “I guess.”

“Why in the hell would you do that with her? You have a fucking girlfriend, Eita. What am I to you? For fucks sake, what the fuck is wrong with you?” you asked. Your voice was slightly trembling as you could feel your tears threatening to fall on your face any moment from now on.

The rage you've bottled up for years threatened to be freed from your body. Torture. This is like a living hell if it's living in agony.

“You aren’t there with me every day, and I got… bored. I was lonely, Y/N! I need someone to be there with me physically!” Semi sighed. He stopped and stared straight into your eyes. The girl he has loved for about three years. The sweet look you have always had on your face is now gone, replaced with anger and betrayal.

It felt like he was painting you to be the bad guy in this case. Playing the victim card, huh?

You scoffed in disbelief, “What am I to you exactly, Semi? Was the reason you got back with me the other day so you could fuck me and then leave?” you snapped, trying to keep your voice low so the other customers won’t be interrupted.

Semi brought both of his hands to his face. He let out a deep sigh, “Would it hurt less if I said yes?”

“Hell yes, Semi! Oh god, I can’t fucking believe this. What has gotten into you, Semi? What drove you crazy? Fuck, I can't even believe I love you no matter what happens!” At this point, you don’t even know if you are strong enough to accept this. A part of you just wanted to storm out of the cafe, but a part of you also needed closure.

“You’re always there when I need you. That’s why I keep on coming back to you because you’re there. You’re special to me, Y/N,” Semi told. His eyes failed to convince you that he wanted you to be with him forever.

You let out a scoff, “You know too damn well that I’ll come back running to you whenever you need me. You used me, Semi. What happened to the old you? I can’t believe this. You know that I can never let you go, that’s why you used me, isn’t it? Semi, I’m not naive. It’s just that I loved you so much that I can never let you go and… and, you took it for granted!”

Your tears were beginning to fall on your cheeks. You were sobbing so hard that even a box of tissue is not enough to help you wipe your tears away. Shit, breakup hurts like hell.

Semi felt terrible, really he is. He couldn't deny that he takes you for granted. “I’m sorry.”

“Is that all you could say, Semi?” you asked with a gruff voice. You were hoping for a lot more. Maybe an 'I love you’ or ‘You’re my entire world’ would be sufficient.

“I’m so sorry," he apologised once again. You let out an unbelievable sigh as you wiped your tears. “That’s it. Once again, we’re breaking up. Maybe we’re just not meant to be. I hate the fact that I will always love you no matter how bad you treat me, Eita.”

“I’m sorry. I’m never good enough for you. I guess I will never be good enough for anyone. I hope she’s good enough for you, Semi,” you said your final words as you left the cafe without saying goodbye.

Strangers on the street looked at you with a weird look on their faces. Seeing a random teenager on the street bawling her eyes out concerned them most slightly.

Returning home, you cried yourself to sleep. Your thoughts kept you up at night, wondering if you are ever enough for someone. You wondered if someone is willing to love you unconditionally. Does love even exist in this cruel world?

You skipped school for two days because you were down in the slumps, all alone in your room. You never cheated with anyone behind Semi’s back when you guys were together. Hell, you even ditched Iwaizumi as your friend with benefits when you got back together with Semi.

You sobbed again, not knowing what to do with your life anymore. You just wanted your pain to be over. Why does everyone have it easier? Why can't you be happy just like they do?

The sound of keys jingling from outside startled you. You saw the figure of your mother standing at the door frame with a stoic face. “Y/N,” she called your name seriously. You wiped your tears and looked at her, nodding your head to answer her call.

“Why the hell did you skip school?” your mother asked, taking another step towards you. She was infuriated when your homeroom teacher gave her a call this morning and told her about you being absent for the past 2 days.

She even left her work to come home to ask you about this matter. Ever since your dad passed away, your mother barely cares or makes time about your personal life that much. All she knows is that her daughter is supposed to go to school, and she wants her to graduate high school and become a doctor.

Your mother sets a high expectation on you, and it kills you inside.

“I’m sick, can’t you see?” you replied with a sad voice. You caught a cold after meeting with Semi the other day. You sniffled back your tears, not wanting to cry in front of your raging mad mother.

“I didn’t raise you to become a liar, Y/N! Why the hell did you skip school? Tell me now!” your mother yelled. You flinched at her words, and you knew you couldn’t lie any longer. But you weren’t lying! You were sick! Anyone who sees you in this state could tell. But why the person who gave birth to you couldn't see it?

“I skipped school because I was sick, mom! Can’t you see? I was telling you the truth!” you slightly raised your voice back at her while wailing out loud.

Your mother didn’t take your wailing seriously, apparently. “Just return to school tomorrow. I don’t want any excuses.”

“Because of you, I want to fucking die,” you snapped. “You tortured me throughout my life, mom! You should have let me die back then!”

The woman who birthed and raised you had a fuming mad expression written all over her face. Her fists tightened on her sides, eyebrows scrunched together. Your mother’s back is now turned to face you. “I raised you to become a successful person. I don’t want to raise a pathetic loser. Get your shit together!” your mother raised her voice one last time as she slammed the door to your bedroom.

You threw your pillows on the floor while wailing out loud, though it will never be heard. You weren’t sure what went wrong in your life, but everything seems to become a failure every fucking minute.

The following day, you decided to return to school. With visible dark circles under your eyes, you lazily walked to your desk where Oikawa was already waiting for your presence.

“Hey, are you okay? You didn’t come to school for two days. What happened?” Oikawa's gentle voice greeted you the first thing in the morning. He sounded worried. You shrugged your shoulders, ignoring his questions for the time being.

You were quiet, not even bothering to pick a fight with Oikawa like you guys always do. Oikawa looked at Iwaizumi, asking him if he knew what’s going on with you. It turned out Iwaizumi didn't know about it either.

Iwaizumi inhaled a deep breath, lowkey suspecting that you were going through something. Probably had something to do with your boyfriend. But, he knew better than to intervene. If you ever come to him, then he’ll keep you company.

Every second passing by felt like an eternity. You kept on going to the bathroom only to break down in the cubicle. If this goes on any longer, you’d collapse for sure.

“Y/N! Let’s go to lunch!” Oikawa cheerfully said as he closed his textbook and kept it under his desk. You looked at him, “Okay.” Your short answer freaked him out a bit. That was the first thing you said to him on that day.

Oikawa didn’t realize you were walking slowly until he realized you had collapsed on the floor. The other students gasped in shock as they gathered around you to check on your condition.

The brunette gasped as he yelled for Iwaizumi’s name to ask for his help. Both of them ran to get you, who just collapsed on the floor.

“Can someone call the teacher?” Iwaizumi asked one of the students there to go and get help. Iwaizumi checked on your pulse, making sure it’s still beating. Fuck. His mind was about to explode from all the possibilities.

Oikawa rested your head in his lap. Not long after, the teacher came and brought you to the hospital as soon as possible. Iwaizumi was with you the entire ride to the hospital. He couldn’t keep himself patient. A million thoughts were running in his mind.

You heard people whispering around you the moment you opened your eyes. You looked around you and found your mother, your teacher and... Iwaizumi? It’s him, right? You weren’t mistaken. His sharp jawline and raven hair. No one else looks as gorgeous as him.

Wait. That’s not right to be thinking of it this time.

Iwaizumi glanced over at you and noticed you’re already awake. “Doctor, she’s awake!” he immediately told the doctor in front of him.

The doctor rushed to get to you and checked on your condition. “She’s awake, professor”, the doctor informed your mother. Your mother let out a relieved sigh before she approached you on the hospital bed.

“Your friend told you that you collapsed at school today. What happened?” your mother asked. Not even an ounce of worry flowed in her tone. But she’d be lying if she said she wasn’t worried when she got a call from the teacher informing her that you collapsed in school.

“I was sick. I guess,” you sarcastically replied. You kept your head hung low, not wanting to look at everyone in the eyes. Embarrassing, you thought. How weak and pathetic.

She went silent for a moment. It was entirely her fault for neglecting you yesterday. The truth is, she just didn’t know how to comfort you the way your late father had always comforted you. And she was fine with you blaming her because she’s at fault.

The silence was deafening and Iwaizumi felt awkward being in the middle of this hospital room. He glanced over at you who returned an awkward glance.

Your mother didn’t say anything but ensured that you're okay before telling you that she had a minor surgery to perform on a patient. "I have surgery in 10 minutes. I have to go now. Take care, darling. I’ll come back to you when I’m done,” your mother said as she patted your head.

Before she left, she stopped in her tracks to look at your teacher and the man beside you, Iwaizumi.

"Thank you for coming here with her. I owe you a lot," your mother thanked Iwaizumi and your teacher. Your teacher then left to take care of school matters, leaving you under Iwaizumi's supervision.

He stood there and watched you with a stoic expression. Well, it’s not like you could read him anyway. Both of you exchanged stares as silence surrounded the hospital room.

“What are you doing here? You have practice, idiot!” you blurted out in half-murmurs. It’s not like you didn’t know about this man and his volleyball practices. He can easily get scouted as a professional volleyball player with his routine. Obviously you didn’t want him to waste his time keeping you company at the hospital.

You heard a scoff from the man that had you looking at him with a furrowed eyebrow. Iwaizumi locked eyes with you.

“Even when you’re sick, you’re still acting like a brat?” Iwaizumi shot you a look with an indecipherable expression.

His words silenced you. “I’m sorry. You have practice. You should get back to school, or else you’ll miss practice. I am being a considerate person, Iwa. I know how practices are important to you.”

Iwaizumi shrugged his shoulders, “Oikawa said it’s fine. He wants to visit you this evening. After he arrives, I’ll leave with him.”

You didn’t know how to respond other than asking them to not mind you. So, you gave him a slow nod, avoiding his gaze at all costs.

“Do you need anything to eat? I’ll go and buy it for you,” Iwaizumi offered. He still remembered how he reacted when the doctor said you collapsed because of dehydration and lacked nutrients. In reality, you starved yourself for the past two days and hid alone in your bed.

“Never mind. It’s useless asking you, anyway. I’ll just go buy whatever that will make you full,” Iwaizumi decided. He walked out of the door and went to the convenience store in the hospital. You didn’t get to say a word so you watched him leave.

Iwaizumi came back with food and even fruits in his hands. “I just bought whatever is left. So, eat this for now. I think the nurse will come back with a meal later. Have this for now.”

The plastic bag was then shoved into your hands but Iwaizumi took it back and placed it on the table instead. He took out the food one by one so you could take a look and choose what you wanted to eat first.

You felt like he was scolding you instead of asking you to eat. Feeling dazed, you only stared at the food in front of you.

“I know for a fact that you would hate someone to feed you, or are you actually waiting for that?” Iwaizumi clicked his tongue as he sat on the chair beside your bed.

You scoffed, “I can eat by myself, Iwa.” You proceeded to take the microwaved rice with curry and fed yourself a spoonful of rice. You chew the tasteless food, only to pour it all out not long after.

You ran to the toilet in your room and poured everything you’ve eaten just now. Iwaizumi gasped. He ran after you to ensure you’re fine. He held your hair for you while you were puking in the toilet bowl. You sat beside the toilet bowl lifelessly. Your head was aching like crazy to the point you felt like the whole world was spinning at a rapid speed.

Iwaizumi could only stare at you. “What happened to you exactly?” Iwaizumi asked with a laid-back voice. He was concerned. He was just trying to look out for a friend. Well, he definitely knew something was wrong with you the moment you skipped school after yelling at him the other day.

You chuckled tiredly. Your energy was drained, leaving you with nothing. “I guess you can predict what happened to me, right?”

Iwaizumi furrowed his eyebrows. What did you mean? Though his suspicions might be right. He is rarely wrong. Instead, he gave you a reply of “I am not a mind reader. Spit it out.”

You tried to get back up, but your legs gave up on you. Iwaizumi helped you to get up and brought you back to your bed. He’s still waiting for your answer.

“I broke up with Semi, and it turned out he was cheating with your ex-girlfriend. What a funny world,” you chuckled. You looked outside the high rise window next to your bed with the view of skyscrapers.

“That’s all?” Iwaizumi questioned. You nodded weakly, expecting him to lecture you.

“Look, I know you loved him, but you have to take care of yourself too, you know. He doesn’t do you any good. It’s time for you to let that toxic relationship go to waste, Y/N,” Iwaizumi lectured you, but clearly you weren’t listening to what he said.

Iwaizumi tilted your face gently with his fingers. You weren’t even looking at him in the eyes as tears dropped on your face. “I’m sorry if I ever did anything wrong to you, Iwa”, you apologized.

“Why are you crying? Oh my goodness,” Iwaizumi panicked. He genuinely did not know what to do in this situation. Slowly, he brought your head to his warm body. “It’s unlike you to cry, tough girl”, his voice softened while patting your head gently.

You chuckled, your vision glistening with tears. Iwaizumi’s touch made you feel comfortable, something that you need at the moment.

“My mom didn’t even care about me. Sh-she just left..” you mumbled softly under your breath. Your tears weren't stopping spilling out from your tears duct.

“She's busy, right? You know that more than anyone,” Iwaizumi hummed. His voice was soothing that it made you smiled, but you made sure you kept it hidden from Iwaizumi himself. He’d tease you endlessly if he ever sees you smile because of what he said.

“Dumbass, you need to eat. Are you trying to get sick again? Come on, eat this,” Iwaizumi said as he pointed to the rice he bought for you just now. You let out a deep sigh as you stared at the rice with a blank expression. You had lost your appetite, to be frankly speaking.

You took another bite, making sure your stomach fully digest it. Iwaizumi on your side waited for you to eat your meal properly. You felt like you had hired a personal bodyguard with him staring down on you the entire time.

“Iwa, you don’t have to look at me like that”, you scoffed lightly at him while feeding yourself another bite of the rice.

“I was making sure you’re eating properly”, Iwaizumi exclaimed. He dragged the chair closer to you. You gave a side glance at him, “Stop!” you yelled with a giggle.

“Oh, is that a laugh I hear?” Iwaizumi teased you. You shook your head continuously, trying to deny it even though the hard smile on your face was evident.

“I was sure I heard you laughed”, he wiggled his eyebrows at you. You just let out an annoyed sigh with rolled eyes at him. Both of you then looked at each other with a smile.

“Oikawa's gonna be here after school, by the way. He’s bringing Matsukawa and Makki along,” he informed you as he just got a message from Oikawa saying he’d drop by after school ends.

“Oh. You guys, you know... don’t have to visit me. You guys have practices after all,” you mumbled awkwardly while fidgeting with your fingers on top of the hospital's thin blanket.

Iwaizumi frowned at your sentence, “Our friend is sick, of course, we have to pay a visit. Don’t you think you would do the same thing too?" He crossed his arms while staring at you with an unreadable look. Whatever you said just now made him questioned if you really look at the four of them as friends.

You chuckled rigidly, “I’ve never had a real friend other than Yuuji, you know. That's why I was surprised seeing you guys here."

“Oh- Terushima, you meant? I’m sorry if my words offended you,” he apologized, realizing what he said earlier might come across as rude.

“Yeah, Yuuji is my only friend. He knows everything. Even if I’m stubborn, he still sticks with me. I owe him a lot,” you chattered, another tear dropped on your face. It’s just that you have gone through a lot, and it sickened you that nothing in your life ever worked out anymore.

“Do you want me to give him a call that you got admitted? I can do that for you,” Iwaizumi asked. He knew how important Yuuji is to you.

“I’ll tell him myself soon,” you smiled bitterly.

“How soon were you talking about?” Iwaizumi furrowed his eyebrows. It’s not like he doesn’t know how you are, generally.

You let out a soft sigh, “Truthfully, he’d nag if he knew I got admitted again.”

“What do you mean?” Iwaizumi asked. His expression showed that he didn’t get what you meant.

A nervous chuckle escaped your mouth. You were clueless about how to break it to him. “I’ve been admitted to hospital several times, to be honest. So, you know, he’ll nag the shit out of me if he knows this.”

You clearly saw his confused expression. Iwaizumi cleared his throat, “Of course he’d nag you, dumbass. Who wants to see their friend falls sick?”

“I know. I know that Iwa. It's just that... Nevermind. But, thank you so much for helping me today,” you thanked him again with a genuine smile this time.

Not long after, Oikawa, along with Makki and Matsukawa, arrived at your door with a bag of food. You smiled at them weakly, trying to give them a warm welcome.

“What happened, Y/N? I was shocked when the ambulance rushed you to the hospital,” Makki asked as he took a seat on the couch provided. You let out a soft sigh, “I was just stressed, and then I passed out. It happened before, so no worries.”

“That doesn’t convince me. Iwa-chan, what happened?” Oikawa appealed. He crossed his arms and looked at Iwaizumi. Iwaizumi glanced over at you, “Y/N starved herself. She said she forgot to eat.”

Matsukawa looked at you with a mischievous smile, “Y/N, you’re really something. How could you forget to eat unintentionally? What’s wrong?” His tone was hinting that he couldn’t believe such mistake could happen.

Ah, there you were, caught red-handed. You bit your lip, “I-um, I suffered a loss of a loved one, okay? So.. yeah.”

“Oh my, what happened?” Oikawa asked this time. He was genuinely concerned and he also thought you had lost someone you truly loved.

“Y/N broke up with her boyfriend”, Iwaizumi blurted at last. Oikawa looked at you in disbelief, “What? I thought someone passed away or something. That douchebag? God, Y/N, you deserve so much better!”

You scoffed at Oikawa's words, “I know. My best friend has been telling me that every time. Thank you for the gentle reminder, Oikawa. I appreciate it. Thanks for dropping by too. I truly appreciate all of you coming here today.”

"Stop with that nonsense, please. We are your friends. That's what friends should do the very least," Oikawa scoffed dramatically. His brown eyes landed on your weak figure. He knew how painful your breakup was. Oikawa was in your place once upon a time. "You have to let go of that relationship, Y/N. Trust me," Oikawa said.

Yeah, the same old thing. You know it but you just couldn’t do it. Being cheated on is the final straw and you have to let this relationship for your own good too. Moving on takes time but everything starts from zero. You are not sure how you are going to do it, but you know it definitely will take you somewhere.

“Your words of wisdom might convince me someday but I’ll try. Thanks,” you gave him a bitter smile and Oikawa gave you the boyish grin that has all of his fan girls falling on their knees. Hopefully they will not come after you.

Iwaizumi gave his friends a once over, “She’s back.”

All of them burst into laughter after Iwaizumi said that, insinuating your sarcasm was the indicator of you coming back. You swatted him on the arm and he ruffled your hair messily.

“You’ll pay for that, Iwa,” you threatened him with a glare.

“Gladly looking forward to it,” he said with a glint of mischievous in his eyes, along with the stupid grin you wanted to wipe from his face.

Funny enough, your stupid heart decided to flutter at his remarks. Well, looks like you have another trouble to look out for.

#haikyuu x reader #hq x reader #haikyuu!! x reader #haikyuu smut #haikyuu!! smut #hq smut #iwaizumi hajime #iwaizumi hajime x reader #iwaizumi hajime smut #iwaizumi smut #iwaizumi x reader #[💭]. ain’t my fault

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humanitys-strongest-bamf · 1 year

Text

"get me a damned matcha" | Chapter 7: December I

{{ Chapter 6: November I | Chapter 8: January I }} Chapter Directory

i finally finished outlining this series! which means i can get all the chapters written ahead of time and i'm so excited because things only get fluffier from here on out skdjfksf

if you wanna get tagged for updates, fill out this form here!

✧ pairing ➼ levi ackerman x fem!reader, college x coffee shop x roommates!au ✧ summary ➼ After you find yourself plagued with misfortune due to struggles in your personal and family life, you find yourself needing to move last minute. As a junior in undergrad with little money and little social support, you considered yourself lucky when you found a sublease that was close to campus and was relatively cheap. Unfortunately, it seemed that your roommate did not seem to be so excited regarding your presence. ✧ content/warnings ➼ fluff, slowburn, strangers to lovers, alcohol, college-typical parties, explicit description of an anxiety attack, mentions of death ✧ word count ➼ ~4k

> [you (4:45pm)]: hey you locked me out again > [you (4:47pm)]: hello??? > [you (4:48pm)]: hello??? earth to levi

> [levi (4:50pm)]: Should've come home earlier. I have work.

> [you (4:51pm)]: it's 4:50. u said your shift doesn't start till 5

> [levi (4:55pm)]: It's a 15 minute commute, dumbass.

> [you (4:56pm)]: YOU'RE a sumbass > [you (4:56pm)]: dumbass

> [levi (4:59pm)]: How clever > [levi (5:00pm)]: I made you another Matcha. Get your ass here before it gets cold.

~~~~~

It had started snowing on your way to the café. The weather forecast hadn't called it a snowstorm or anything along the lines of that, but walking through it was still a pain in the butt. You hadn't anticipated having to walk in it, so you were wearing tennis shoes, which meant that snow seeped in, leaving you with cold feet and wet socks. On top of that, you weren't wearing any gloves, so you had to have your hands shoved into your jacket pockets the entire time.

Needless to say, you were more than grumpy by the time you arrived. You shook the snow out of your hair and patted off your coat before sitting down at your usual spot with a more than obvious frown on your face.

Levi's gaze met yours and he pushed the cup of Matcha gently towards you. He seemed to notice your mood and chose to simply hand you the drink without providing commentary on the fact that you had locked yourself out of the house again.

You mumbled a thanks as you took a sip of the drink that Levi had now been regularly preparing for you whenever you came into the café. Most days you simply appreciated the gesture, but there were also days like this where your mood was nothing but sour, so getting your comfort drink for free was more than needed.

You had left your apartment keys at home while you were in a rush to leave in the morning and then you had missed the bus on your way home. You rushed to your apartment, hoping that Levi was still at home, and were rudely met with a locked door. Today was just full of misfortunes.

You took solace in the fact that the Matcha meant there was at least one thing in your day that you could consider a positive. The day wasn't a complete loss.

"Does this mean I'm trapped with you for the next five hours until your shift is up?" you asked, finally placing the cup back down onto its accompanying plate.

"Fuck no," he responded with a frown. "Having you here for the entire shift will make it a hundred times worse."

Levi didn't miss the subtle pout that appeared on your face. If he didn't know any better, he would've sworn that he had hurt your feelings based on the look in your eyes.

He paused briefly, glancing at you, noting that you really did seem affected by his comment.

"Whatever," he mumbled underneath his breath as he began digging around in his pockets, before pulling out a spare key.

He began to slide it over to you.

"A spare that I made a while ago," he muttered, his fingers still on the top of the key to keep you from immediately grabbing it. "I expect you to give it back."

After emphasizing that last statement, he let go of the key and flicked it closer to you.

It took you a second to react. You hadn't expected this from him.

"Thanks," you said quietly as you took the spare and placed it in your pocket.

You sipped on the Matcha again, subtly looking up as you watched Levi tend to his station.

The two of you have kept this routine up for a few months at this point. You'd come in, he'd prepare you a drink, and you'd exchange some banter with him before he went back over to his station. You were surprised every time you saw Levi being completely engrossed in his station. As much as he complained about working here, you could tell he did legitimately enjoy making the specialty teas the café offered. It was probably one of the only things he could do to keep other real life things off his mind.

You heard the door open (and felt the accompanying freezing wind) behind you.

"Oh hey, _____!"

You turned towards the door and saw Nicolo leaning against the open door carrying a box of supplies.

"Oi, are you trying to turn this place into a fridge?" Levi called out. "Close the damn door."

Nicolo stepped inside, kicking the snow off his boots. Upon a closer inspection, you could see that he was carrying a variety of baking supplies in the heavy-looking box in his arms, likely to restock his own station.

"Hey!" you greeted with a wave. "How's business been?"

He walked up to you and placed the boxes on the counter, much to Levi's ire since they were still somewhat covered in snow.

"Slower since you haven't been needing our pastries!"

"Well, the semester's over so activities are paused until after February."

"You going to the party tonight?"

"Probably," you said with a nod. A subtle smirk appeared at the edge of your lips. "I assume you're going with Sasha?"

"Wh-What?!" Nicolo exclaimed as his face flushed up. You had caught him off-guard.

"Nothing," you said innocently as you shut your eyes and continued sipping at your Matcha.

You've seen the two underclassmen interacting here regularly nearly every other day. Although it was none of your business, anybody with even a hint of social awareness could put the pieces together that there was something developing between the two.

"If you're taking her out, I'd recommend getting something bigger to eat first," you spoke up, turning towards Nicolo, who was still reeling from your comment. "And it's Sasha, so I mean it when I say bigger to eat. It's an end-of-semester party, which means it's a bigger one. Make sure you have something to soak up the alcohol."

You were well aware that neither of them were drinking age, but you weren't dumb. Although there were some that attended parties without ever drinking, you knew it was rare. It was more than likely that the two of them would be drinking in some capacity. You'd rather them be careful, instead of them getting into trouble because you decided to turn a blind eye.

You didn't notice, but Levi had kept his eyes on you throughout this whole exchange. Every single time you came into the café or interacted with him, the more of you he actually got to see. Although he wouldn't admit it to himself, you were straying further and further from his expectation of you as just another annoying undergrad.

"Are you going with anyone?" Nicolo finally asked after gathering himself.

You nodded.

"I'm going with Petra and a few others. So I guess I'll see you there!"

~~~~~

Everyone had finally left.

While Levi didn't particularly enjoy closing shifts, he did find them more relaxing than his regular mid-shifts. He got to spend the last 30 minutes or so alone after closing to clean and prepare the café for the next day.

Still, given how late it was, he found himself in a sour mood. Having to be out past 11pm couldn't just be remedied by 30 minutes of cleaning, no matter how much he enjoyed it. He was more than ready to go home and lock himself in his room for the rest of the night.

The snow had stopped and only a small layer had gathered on the ground, but it was still fairly chilly outside. Levi dug his hands into his pockets and frowned at the fact that his breath was visible whenever he exhaled. He knew his car was going to be annoyingly cold once he got in.

He felt his phone buzz.

He groaned, knowing it was you. He wondered if he should ignore it.

His phone kept buzzing. It was a phone call.

He finally dug out his phone, exposing his hand to the freezing temperatures surrounding him.

"What?" he spoke sternly into the phone, immediately grimacing from the loud background noise that came from the other end. He held the phone about an inch away from his ear.

"Levi?!"

He heard you yell into your phone, as if you were surprised that he picked up.

"What do you want?"

He heard a lot of loud music, which meant that you were still at the party, but also wind blowing into your microphone, indicating that you were outside.

His eyebrows scrunched together as he tried to make out whatever it was that you were trying to say. He vaguely heard the words "me" and "up". With the music and the wind fighting for the microphone's attention, he could barely understand a word you were saying.

"What?"

He heard some shuffling on the other end before your voice began coming through clearer.

"Can you p-pick me up?"

Your voice was unsteady and slurred. You were drunk.

"It's too late into the night, fuck off."

You had gone to the party with friends, so it wasn't like you didn't have a way home. Plus, he already had to pick you up last month at the last minute. He really didn't want this to form into a habit.

However, before he could bring his phone down away from his ear and press the end call button, you spoke again with a sense of urgency.

"Levi, p-please!"

He had noticed that your voice was unsteady the first time, but now he could almost picture you trembling as you spoke.

You were upset about something. Listening closely, he was vaguely able to tell that you were crying based on the way that your speaking and breathing patterns were not matching up with each other, in addition to the sense of urgency in your voice.

He groaned audibly.

"Fine. Which stupid party are you at?"

~~~~~

Driving through this area of campus was always a pain in the ass. Not only did most of the buses pass through here, but it was also the central location for parties. Most fraternities were located here and it technically wasn't as monitored by campus security, which meant parties could go late into the night and be as wild as they wanted to get without too many repercussions. It was precisely why Levi avoided driving through here.

Yet, he found himself here, driving at a snail's pace, trying to pinpoint your figure out amongst the crowd of drunk undergrads. Given the fact that you were a small person, he had no idea where you could've been.

He parked across the street and shot you a quick text message telling you to get your ass outside within five minutes or he was going to leave.

The five minutes passed.

He glanced at the frat house you had texted him the address of and still saw no signs of you.

He let out a tut of disapproval as he prepared to re-enter the freezing atmosphere. He was more than irritated as he got out of the car, zipping his jacket up as began walking towards the party.

Despite what he texted you, he wasn't going to leave you here, no matter how much he wanted to go home. He knew how shady these parties could get and that wasn't even considering how upset and intoxicated you had sounded over the phone.

He stared blankly into the crowd, trying to identify you within a sea of people.

It was only by luck that he saw you out of the corner of his eye. You weren't even at the frat house.

You had stormed off to the nearby street corner, no doubt trying to get away from the party, although it didn't seem like you had a particular destination in mind.

He began to make his way over to you, but paused once he saw you squat down and hold your chest.

You were upset, drunk, and likely about to be sick because you couldn't control your drinking.

However, his hesitation quickly faded once he saw that you didn't keel over because you were going to be sick from the alcohol.

You were struggling to breathe.

His walking quickly turned into a jog as he made his way over to you with a worried look in his eyes.

"What the hell is-"

You were indeed upset about something as tears streamed down your face. Your words were incoherent as you failed to push them out as you hyperventilated, barely taking in any oxygen with each breath in. One hand was placed onto the ground to keep yourself from falling face-first onto the concrete sidewalk, but even that was unsteady.

"_____?" he called out your name.

You didn't respond.

"Hey, brat," he said again, more urgently this time.

When you didn't respond, he kneeled down next to you.

You were having an anxiety attack. You weren't going to answer him in the state you were in.

He placed his hands on your shoulders and shook you a bit.

"Hey, brat," he spoke again quietly, although still with a sense of urgency as he attempted to ground you.

You rapidly shook your head, your eyes tightly shut, communicating that you knew that he wanted you to calm down, but that you couldn't.

"Look at me," he said sternly.

When you didn't respond, he let out a quiet "tch" before reaching out and gently lifting your chin so that you were looking into his eyes.

"I said look at me. Do as I say."

Your vision was still wavering, but you were able to somewhat fix your gaze onto his gray eyes. Although you still felt like the world was swirling around you, your immediate field of vision held still. All of your senses seemed distorted, including him, but you tried your best to listen to the words coming out of his mouth.

"Breathe in for four," he instructed.

You parted your lips and took a shaky and unsteady breath in, but it immediately got caught in your throat and you felt your chest convulse as you heaved again.

He shook your shoulder again to get your attention.

"Through your nose. Try again."

You slowly began to inhale through your nose, never taking your eyes off him.

"Hold for four."

You held your breath, with those four seconds feeling absolutely agonizing. You tried to focus on him as he fixed his gaze intensely on you, refusing to break eye contact with you.

"Out for four. Through your mouth this time."

You exhaled slowly through your mouth, having just done your first successful breathing cycle from within the past twenty minutes or so.

"Good," he said quietly with a nod. "Again."

It took a few more rounds of box breathing, but you were able to stabilize your breathing and somewhat calm your perception of the world around you.

With your anxiety attack somewhat mitigated, you finally collapsed and sat on the ground, burying your face into your hands as you quietly sobbed to yourself.

~~~~~

You were at the same diner as last month. You barely remembered walking in through the doors, much less getting into Levi's car and getting driven here, but you found yourself looking down at the now empty basket of fries and chicken tenders that you had apparently ordered for yourself.

You looked up and saw Levi sitting across the table, having opted for a cup of black coffee. It wasn't like he was going to sleep anyway.

This was the first time that Levi had seen you this upset. Sure, you were upset the last time you were at this diner, but that appeared more similarly to a low mood state, in contrast to him finding you sobbing and hyperventilating on the ground thirty minutes ago.

He could've just taken the both of you home, but considering how unsteady you were as he got you to stand up and how much you were babbling and incoherently apologizing to him, he opted to take you here instead. He figured at least the food would sober you up enough to tell him what the hell had happened.

You had spent the entire car ride sobbing and apologizing to him for a variety of reasons that he had never even thought of or considered. Sure, he was annoyed that you pulled him away from going home and shutting himself in for the night, but apologizing for being useless hardly seemed appropriate.

"...Thanks," you muttered quietly as you sniffled, looking down at the basket of fries. It was less that you were fixated on the fries and more that you were afraid to look up at Levi.

"...Don't mention it," he uttered, taking a few seconds to respond.

You finally glanced up at him, fully expecting him to be scowling at you, but you were instead met with his signature neutral expression.

"I do tend to gravitate towards food when hammered, so..." you said as you trailed off.

"Yeah?" he asked, crossing his arms as he watched you. "So you would've found yourself here regardless?"

"No," you said as you shook your head. "I don't think I would have."

You averted your gaze as you pulled up vague memories of the anxiety attack and Levi coaxing you out of it.

"Not the way that I was anyway."

You didn't expect Levi to come in with knowledge on how to calm you down. Everyone always just said "quit worrying" or "breathe", which did little to nothing. Levi was the last person you had expected to show up and actually walk you through something as fundamental as breathing—but you were grateful. You really didn't know what you would have done had he not shown up when he did.

You felt your face heat up in embarrassment.

"So...thanks," you mumbled again.

You heard him click his tongue.

"Didn't I just say not to mention it?"

You vaguely saw him grab something and by the time you looked up, a balled up napkin came flying across the table towards you. Levi had bunched it up and threw it at you as a way of getting you to quit apologizing.

You swatted it away right before it hit your forehead, giving him an annoyed glare.

Regardless, it did make you feel better. You were beginning to sober up.

You stared at the balled up napkin for a few seconds before opening your mouth to speak again.

"Petra said something shitty," you mumbled.

"That girl you're always hanging out with?"

"Yeah," you whispered as you nodded. "She said something about how what my aunt said a few weeks ago could've been her 'way of caring', and that she had a point of-"

You suddenly stopped speaking as you felt your body tense up again as you recited in your head the words your supposed "closest" friend had mentioned to you.

"A point of the fact that I'm 'wasting' my parents' lives being the way that I am," you spoke quietly, with the end of your sentence being barely audible, as if you were afraid that speaking the words would confirm that they were true.

Levi raised his eyebrows at that comment.

"The way that you are?"

You looked over at him and gave him a grim expression.

"The semester didn't end great. Grades weren't all there. I even have some classes that I need to do extra stuff with over break to pass."

Petra's comment threw you off. You hadn't expected it from her. She was generally a very nice person, but you also knew that she'd occasionally mention something out of left field without really thinking about it. She was the embodiment of toxic and blind positivity, which was helpful for superficial problems that weren't actually upsetting. That wasn't really the case when it came to something that bothered you on such a deep level. The alcohol didn't help either.

Levi scoffed and an annoyed expression quickly overtook his facial features.

"Sorry," you whispered again, looking down with a shameful expression.

"What the hell are you sorry for?"

"I'm sorry for bothering you with this," you said as you continued to look down. "I can tell it's annoying you."

You knew how late it was and you knew that he worked a closing shift tonight. The fact that he came all the way out and took the time to get you food to sober you up and make sure that you were okay filled you with regret, guilt, and remorse.

You heard him let out a sigh of disappointment.

"It's not that."

You glanced up at him again, unsure of what he was trying to say.

"I just forget how annoying you all are about your grades," he grumbled while glaring off to the side.

Upon seeing you staring at him with a confused expression, he leaned forward, placing his elbows on the table while looking at you.

"People aren't to give a shit about your grades after you get your first job. Hell, even your first job is barely going to look at your grades. Your grades don't mean shit if you don't have anything to back it up with."

You fell silent, looking at the table as you contemplated his words. You knew what he was getting at. Good grades weren't enough.

"You're worth more than a letter on some piece of paper."

Your eyes widened as he spoke. He had gone from what sounded like beratement to affirmation within the blink of an eye. You were speechless as you looked at him. You didn't know how to respond. You didn't know how to even process it. Regardless, his words had hit you on some level.

You saw his eyes flash down to your empty basket of fries. He began to get up while you found yourself in your dumbfounded stupor, bringing his wallet out as he walked up to the front counter with an irritated look on his face.

You watched him as you saw him chatting with the cashier up front to pay for your late-night meal.

You're worth more than a letter on some piece of paper.

Whether you would consciously admit it or not, those words were what you needed to hear. People always seemed to measure your worth based on your grades or your ability to get a certain thing done, and you still found yourself always preoccupied with what others thought.

For the first time, someone told you directly that those metrics did not dictate your worth. Your grades weren't everything.

Those words undoubtedly meant a lot, but it was strange. The strange part was that it came from Levi. He's the last person you would catch providing words of comfort to someone. Although you can't realistically say that you hate him anymore—which was hopefully reciprocated by him—you still didn't expect that from him.

However, because it was Levi, who usually wanted nothing to do with you, you were able to believe that what he said was true. It wasn't a blanket statement or something he pulled out of his ass to make you feel better. He just wasn't that type of person.

Thus, you found yourself reacting much more to those words than you would have had it been anyone else.

Levi glanced back at you, noticing that you were watching him. He broke eye contact with you to sign the receipt that the cashier had printed out for him.

Everything he said was true. You really were worth more than whatever dumb grade some asshole with a PhD decided to slap onto your GPA record.

Throughout the course of the semester, your perception of what Levi thought of you versus what Levi actually thought of you shifted and fell out of balance. He thought higher of you than you thought he did, although you weren't quite in the headspace to be able to accept or process that.

All you knew was that one sentence was enough to encourage you to fight past the hurdle that consisted of this very shitty first semester.

#: @levisbrat25 @gothgril69 @sckerman @berrijam @notgoodforlife @meowjaa @averysmolbear @roseofdarknessblog @bejewelledd @hhighkey @ayame236 @sad-darksoul @velouria17 @kamyru @l1zk4 @layenacreates @lamees004 @whoami-72 @highgoon69 @chaotic-on-main @levishotgf @nube55 @chosos-mascara @heichoucleanfreak @svftackerman

#cw: alcohol #tw: anxiety attack #levi x reader #levi ackerman x reader #levi heichou x reader #captain levi x reader #levi #levi ackerman #levi heichou #captain levi #modern!au levi #coffeeshop!au levi #college!au levi #attack on titan #levi fanfiction #fics: matcha

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