#hello I am broken truly and utterly broken

[waterfallofspace]

Finished T/MA

Spoilers for the Finale and what comes before under cut~ (as well as swearing, and rantings of a crazy person <3)

I am :D Never gonna be :D The same :D Uh so first things first, that was amazing. That podcast is amazing and I will be relistening to it.

Second things second: I'm so attached to so many of the characters oh no- oH NO-

And uh, third things third: WHAT THE FUCKING HECK??!?!??!! WHAT???? NO??? YOU CANT END IT LIKE THAT NO WHAT NO-

I will be reading a million hundred thousand posts about it now, both snz and non snz, because hECKING HECK that was amazing. I don't quite know what to put here bc I've just finished it and my mind is gone but quick summary of my thoughts incase anyone's curious:

JonMartin both gives me life and sucks it RAPIDLY away. I love them. I'm a sucker for a tragic love story and my god- ahhgnslkdanfgoil

Elias. I don't approve of Jonah, or heck, of Elias himself, but.... I can't lie... god I love that man... HIS VOICE OKAY- his mannerisms?? he's evil but he's CHARMING and- yeahhhh I fall for villains okay? Sue me <3

The whole world itself is SO insanely well designed. I loved listening to it and figuring out how all the pieces fit along with Jon and the others.

TIM!!! TIM MY BELOVED!!! I MISS HIM!!!

Daisy and Basira. Melanie and Georgie. I just loved the female representation in this, they were so badass truly.

THE LGBTQIA+ REPRESENTATION TOO!!! All the canon couples, not to mention the fact that they just? had characters be gay? without making a 'thing' outta it? 100/10 Um anyways this is a long post full of barely sensible nonsense, if anyone wants to talk about TMA please feel free to reach out because I will be dying over it for several days <3

Thank you for listening to the ramblings of an emotionally broken person, thank you to @onetrickponi for getting me INTO THIS!!! I had no idea what I was getting into and you know what? You did not lie, it broke me in every way there is and I could not be happier for it. <33

(And not that I think anyone significantly cares, but yes. I will be writing some absolute garbage for these beloveds. I don't know when, but it WILL be happening because I am Feeling Things and my boy Elias could use some wrecking <3)

[claymoresword]

The Queen And Her Knight | Chp: 3

Alicent Hightower x Knight Fem!Reader

Summary: Alicent Hightower against her better judgement, falls in love with her sworn protector. Can she bear to fight her feelings or will she finally just give in?

Pairing: Alicent Hightower x Reader

Wordcount: 3.6k

Warnings: fluff, harsh language, aegon ii targaryen, reader is a total simp for alicent

Note: "An incredibly closeted young woman who will do anything for hugs" -Olivia Cooke

just to clarify this version of aegon ii isn't an abuser he treats women just fine but he is still a loser !

i hope u enjoy this one let me know what u think! <3

not my gifs btw

"Drink it."

"No."

You sat the cup down, firmly crossing your arms as you sit back in the chair.

"Come on! We are celebrating!" The prince exclaims, pushing the rim of his own cup to your lips.

"Forgive my daftness my Prince but what exactly are we celebrating?" You swiftly grabbed his hand to still his movements.

"Your return, ofcourse!" Aegon nearly scoffs, acting as if you were being obtuse on purpose.

"Mother has been utterly morose without you here."

"The Queen tries her best to hide it but only ends up being disagreeable. Which would be fine if I were not always on the receiving end of her moods."

You throw the Prince a look, admittedly stunned at his words.

Alicent was truly that miserable when you were gone? Even Aegon, someone so imperious and self interested, could see it.

Aegon smirks knowingly, he has said the right thing to convince you.

He raises his cup and gestures for you to do the same.

"To Lady y/n, for returning to my mother's aide and in turn, my own. I do not know where we would be without you, my dear friend."

The platinum haired Prince places a quick hand on your shoulder as a gesture of gratitude before chugging his ale.

You followed his lead, too late to back out now.

--

The room had begun to spin, you definitely needed to stop drinking if you wanted to report for duty in the morrow.

The prince has long dissappeared into the back rooms. He had bought himself a suitable whore, or five to be precised, satisfying his needs for the night.

You had half a mind to get up and leave Aegon to his deeds but a part of you felt obligated. For Alicent, you needed to make sure her son is escorted back to the castle safely.

Your mind rarely ever strayed too far from the Queen. She occupied your entire headspace, you are intoxicated in her presence and grieve her when you are apart. You have lived this way since the first moment you met.

Naturally, you began to recall the incident that occurred in your chambers earlier that night. You started to feel something familiar stir in the pit of your stomach. You found yourself wondering how far the two of you would have gone if the Prince hadn't interrupted.

You are broken out of your thoughts when you hear giggling coming from across the room. You glance over and spot a group of women, evidently workers of that brothel.

Each of them whispering and throwing sheepish glances your way.

"Gods, she's a Greyjoy?"

You hear one of them say as she brings her thumb up to her mouth gnawing at it slightly, hiding a blush.

You throw the woman a warm smile as a good gesture. A terrible mistake you soon realised, as you watched her make her way towards you.

The woman took advantage of your unoccupied lap and situated herself on it. Her hand finding the back of your neck as she turns towards you. She is entirely too close for your liking, you can smell the ale on her breath.

"Hello gorgeous, why are you here all alone?" She leans in to whisper in your ear.

You give her an uncomfortable smile this time unsure of how to approach the situation.

"I am awaiting someone. He went into the back rooms."

The woman lets out a sudden laugh, loud and obnoxious enough to make you grimace.

"You are waiting for the Prince? Then you will be waiting all night sweetheart."

You didn't appreciate her condescension.

"You look terribly lonely my lady, allow me to take care of you."

The woman breathes out as she move her hand to your chest, slipping it under your shirt, her intentions were clear.

You grabbed her hand abruptly stopping her from touching you any further.

"I have no interest in being taken care of, thank you." You respond curtly, no longer meeting the woman's gaze you only wanted her to get off your lap.

"Am I not to your liking, my lady? Perhaps you'd prefer one of the maidens instead?" Her thumb grazes your jaw forcing you to glance at the other ladies sat across the room.

They did look young, way too young to be in a place like this.

"No, I assure you it's quite alright." You repeated sternly.

The woman removes her hand from your neck and slumps backwards. Her back resting agaisnt the edge of the table.

Your hand finds her waist reflexively, to keep her from falling off your lap completely.

"Alright then. If you ever wish to know what it feels like to be properly satisfied, you know where to find me."

With that, she finally leaves you alone. You took a large swig of your drink. You were never one to reject a woman's advances but you realised that you were no longer in the Iron Islands. It was already of poor standing for the Queen's sworn knight to be seen in a place like this. You decide to not push it any further.

Above all, the truth was you no longer had any desire to lay with anybody who wasn't Alicent. The queen has completely ruined you for other women.

--

Alicent is awoken by the sun streaming in through her curtains. She is shocked at how well rested she feels this morning. Her mind immediately turns to you and she's greeted by a warmth in her chest. You kissed last night but the guilt she once felt is no longer. She does not recognise the feeling stirring inside her but she would imagine it is as close as she will ever get to peace.

Like clockwork, she hears a knock at her door. Her handmaiden, come to dress her for the day.

"Come!"

Talya walks in, curtseys and makes her way to the windows. Pulling the curtains open the morning sun now illuminating the entirety of the Queen's chambers.

Alicent stands and allows her handmaiden to fix up her bedding, their usual routine. The queen puts on her robe and moves to stand by her window, she spots Aemond walking across the field in his riding attire he must be on his way to the dragon pit. A fond smile forms across her face, her darling boy.

She suddenly notices she could no longer hear the ruffling of pillows. Talya is stood behind the Queen, her gaze fixed on the ground as she fiddles with her fingers nervously.

The auburn haired woman turns her attention to her handmaiden. Her face contorts in genuine concern.

"Talya, what is it?" Alicent breaks the silence.

"Your Grace, there are rumours concerning Lady y/n's conduct. I figured that it would be better for you to hear these claims from me first."

Alicent feels the wind get knocked out of her. She clasps her hands over her abdomen at an attempt to stay composed. Did somebody see them last night? How could that be when they were in the privacy of y/n's chambers?

"Go on, what are these rumours you speak of?"

"The lady y/n had been spotted engaging in activities unbeffiting of a lady of her status."

"Activities? Please, speak plainly Talya." Alicent commands.

"She was seen in a brothel during the hour of the ghosts, with the young Prince Aegon."

Alicent no longer feels warm. Only the nausea emanating from deep inside her belly, a result of her disgust.

She brings her hand up to her throat rubbing at it soothingly.

Talya continues despite the Queen's obvious discomfort.

"She was seen with another woman, it is said that they were engaging in certain acts that should only ever include a man and a woman."

Alicent winces involuntarily, her handmaiden notices and looks down at the ground once more.

The Queen suppresses the sob threatening to come out of her lips before speaking again.

"Very well Talya, thank you for telling me."

Alicent feels as if she had just been struck in the chest, hard.

Her sadness quickly dissipating and she now only feels anger. How could y/n do this to her? Especially after the events of last night, why would you risk sullying your reputation? She needed to confront you about this. She wanted the truth.

"Help me dress now, I must attend to the King."

--

You open your eyes and right away feeling an all too familiar pounding in your head.

You lift your hand up to cover your face, the room was just too bright.

"Seven hells." You grumble as you reach for water just to realise you weren't in your own chambers.

Opening your eyes slowly you brace yourself for the sight of the woman from the brothel. In your drunken state you must have taken her to bed afterall.

To your horror, you quickly recognised the interior of the chambers to be Prince Aegon's.

You feel movement next to you and quickly turn your head, you are inches away from the Prince's face the both of you now only noticing each other for the first time.

Your eyes widen and you both let out a yell, he mirrors your expression as he pulls the covers closer to his bare chest.

You recoil moving further back away from him resulting in you falling off the bed, landing harshly on the ground.

"Fuck." You let out a groan. What the hell happened last night?

You looked down inspecting your attire. Your clothes were still on, everything was intact except for your sword and footwear which was strewn across the floor to your right. You sighed in relief. Atleast the worst didn't happen.

You stand up, your eyes meeting Aegon's worried expression.

"We did not.. do anything last night, did we?" Aegon asks and you feel the urge to fling your shoe at him for even suggesting it.

"You did things I am sure of it but definitely not with me. I am fully clothed." You state, putting on your shoes. You look up at him again.

"I am asking this to simply satisfy my curiosity my Prince but why exactly are you naked?" You watch as Aegon clutches the white sheet over his body holding onto it for dear life.

"I found that I rest much better unclothed, force of habit I suppose."

You found yourself staring at him bewildered for a few moments before you speak again.

"I should go now."

"Yes, best not to mention this to anyone." The prince warns.

"Aye, no one." You assure.

You pick up your sword and turn to make your way out of his chambers but you are stopped in your tracks by the sight before you.

"Your Grace." You coughed out.

The queen stood by the door, her hands by her sides. You watched as she balls her fists before relaxing them. It looked as if she was suppressing the urge to lunge at you. The expression on her face was otherwise a dead giveaway, she was furious.

Her eyes flitted to her son, she scans his appearance before scowling.

This is bad. This is really very bad.

"Your Grace, it truly is not what it looks like. Please allow me to explain."

Alicent lifts her hand up, you stop speaking immediately.

You have been face to face with actual dragons and in this moment she is more intimidating than any of them.

"My chambers. Now." She stares at you and you knew better than to challenge her.

You nod and follow the Queen swiftly to her rooms.

--

Alicent slammed the door to her chambers, promptly making her way towards you. Her hands coming into contact with your chest she shoves you hard, you lose your balance slightly but otherwise do not budge. Tears well up in her eyes and your heart shatters at the sight.

You've hurt her.

The queen shoves you again, this time she is repeatedly hitting your chest with her fists, being considerably stronger than she is you barely flinch. You stood your ground allowing her to take it out on you. Alicent needed to let her anger show once in awhile.

You hear her sob and you bring your hands up to pull her into an embrace. She fights you for a moment before giving in, she clings onto you and you feel her shoulders rapidly rise and fall as she cries into your chest.

"What are you doing to me" Alicent's voice breaks and you only hold her tighter.

"I do not wish to cause you pain Alicent, I am truly sorry. Nothing happened between me and the Prince, you must believe me."

Alicent stays silent and you continue.

"I came along with the sole purpose of keeping an eye on him. I admit I had too much to drink last night but I swear to you that is the worst of it."

You can feel her breathing become even, she is no longer sobbing.

She lifts her head and looks at you through glistening eyes. A tear falls down her cheek as she blinks and you move your hand gently wiping it away with your thumb. You take the opportunity to hold her face in your hand for a moment and she allows you to.

Alicent takes a step back, you are no longer holding her but you are still close enough to feel her breath against your skin.

"And what of the woman at the brothel? You took her to bed did you not?"

You were wounded at the accusation, although you could not entirely blame Alicent for it. You had a reputation before coming to King's Landing, most people knew you had an avid interest in sleeping around. However, that was back in the Iron Islands, before you met the Queen. Thinking back on it now it seems like a lifetime ago.

You gaze softens, you shake your head before grabbing Alicent's hand.

"I have not laid with any other since being back here." You admit, bringing the Queen's hand up to your lips, you place a tender kiss against it.

You noticed as Alicent lets out a breath of relief. You step closer, planting another kiss on her arm.

You lift the Queen's hand up to place it on your chest, right above your heart.

"I have no desire for anybody else, Your Grace." Your hand firmly on top of hers, you know she can feel your heartbeat. It is steady and calm, as you only speak the truth.

"I am yours, if you want me. It has always been you, Alicent." You whisper, your gaze now fixed on the Queen's lips.

You watch as her lips part for a moment. She fails to say anything and you take the opportunity to lean in, kissing her deeply. Alicent reciprocates before settling her hand on your shoulder as you end the kiss.

"You admit these things to me truthfully?" The older woman breathes against your lips.

"I only ever want to tell you the truth, my Queen." You respond.

Alicent leans forward once again, this time she pulls you into a kiss.

"I believe you."

A smile forms on your lips but it quickly falls when the Queen flashes you a stern look.

"You are so lucky I do not have a dragon of my own." Alicent jests and you let out a laugh.

"You'd feed me to a dragon?" You gasp, hand over your chest feigning offence.

"If you infuriate me enough, yes I would." A smirk on your face, this time you don't try to suppress it.

"Ah, baseless threats Alicent. I know you despise those beasts." You say, absentmindedly rubbing the Queen's arm.

Alicent giggles and you stomach flutters at the sight. She is just so beautiful.

"Speaking of Dragons, Princess Rhaenyra has arrived from Dragonstone I must make my way over to greet her. I will see you later."

Alicent moves to walk away but you grab her hand stopping her.

"Your Grace, I shall come with. I am your sworn knight afterall."

The Queen shakes her head at you before speaking.

"Take the morning off y/n, I am sure the events of last night has left you depleted. This morning's a long and tedious one."

"I will be listening in on petitions for the Driftmark succession." Alicent explains and she is right that does not sound like something you wanted to sit through.

"I have arranged for Ser Criston to escort me. You will resume your post later today."

You nodded, protesting no further. Alicent places a quick kiss on your cheek before giving you a genuine smile, making her way towards the door. You follow behind her but turning in the opposite direction once you have reached the hallway, you walked to your own chambers.

--

"Her children are bastards!" Lord Vaemond shouts for the entire throne room to hear.

Alicent shifts her gaze to Viserys, how foolish of him to lose his temper before the King. There will only be dire consequences.

"And she is a whore." The auburn haired woman eyes widen, she could not believe this was happening.

"I will have your tongue, for that." Viserys wheezes, pulling out his dagger.

Alicent hears gasps all across the room and in one swift motion Prince Daemon swings Dark Sister, cutting Vaemond's head clean in half.

She flinches at the horrific sight and immediately turns to Heleana, her only instinct in the moment was to protect her daughter.

"Disarm him!" The guards surround the rogue prince, forcing him to yield his sword.

Viserys can be heard groaning in pain and the Queen rushes over to him, catching him in her arms. All of his weight on her she struggles to hold her husband up. He was too weak to stand on his own feet.

"My love, please you must take something for the pain." She insists before one of the guards helps lift the King back onto his seat escorting him to his rooms.

--

Alicent places the empty cup by Viserys' bedside. The king, finally asleep. She lifts the blanket further up to his chest before standing up to make her way out of his apartments.

The entire walk back to her chambers Alicent can merely focus on how exhausted she was. The day is not close to being over. She still had to sit through dinner with Rhaenyra and her husband.

--

You were stood posted outside the Queen's rooms for awhile now awaiting her return. Feeling better after a bath and a decent meal you were ready to properly resume your duties.

Footsteps can be heard approaching and you catch a glimpse of the auburn haired beauty you were expecting to see. Though the expression on her face looks less than thrilled. She looks utterly defeated.

Being Queen of the seven kingdoms you highly doubted the existence of a simple day. You do not envy her.

"Was it dreadful?" You ask once she gets close enough to hear you.

Alicent sighs before answering.

"Abysmal."

The queen looks around to make sure nobody was near before reaching to open the door to her chambers. You move out of her way but she quickly grabs your arm pulling you inside with her.

In the privacy of her rooms she wraps your arm around her own waist, gesturing for you to hug her. You do so without a moment's thought and Alicent melts into your embrace.

You hold her for a few moments, placing a quick kiss on her forehead. You could really get used to this.

Alicent lets out another sigh and you rub her back at an attempt to soothe her.

"My love, what's happened?" You ask, still rubbing small circles onto her back.

"Vaemond Velaryon was beheaded in the throne room infront of everybody." The older woman merely states, exasperated.

"What?" You exclaim in disbelief, moving back slightly to meet Alicent's gaze.

"By the King's orders?"

Alicent shakes her head before leaning into you once again.

"It was Daemon, he took justice into his own hands."

"Ah, I see. I know Prince Daemon. I had the displeasure of fighting alongside him in the stepstones all those years ago." You admitted. The Rogue Prince every bit lived up to his name. You do not miss his company one bit.

"The King ordered a family supper tonight. I want nothing more than to miss it."

"Though I suppose I will have to settle with only having a quick nap beforehand." Alicent says lifting her head and you release her from your embrace.

The Queen walks over to her bed and you nod your head at her before turning to leave.

"Where are you going?"

An amused expression flashes across your face.

"I thought you wanted to rest, Alicent."

"I do." The Queen says now sitting on her bed, she extends her hand out for you to grab.

You walk up to her, your hand now in hers, she pulls you closer and eventually you had no choice but to land on the bed next to her.

Alicent lays her head on the pillow, her back towards you. It now became clear that she wanted you to spoon her.

You oblige gladly, quickly unclasping your sword from your side you carefully set it by her bed. Moving closer to her your hand finds her waist and Alicent grabs your arm quickly wrapping it around herself until your hand was against her abdomen.

You listen as Alicent's breathing becomes shallow as she rapidly falls into a deep slumber.

You can feel your chest constricting, an unfathomable amount of love for the Queen. You truly would do anything to ensure her happiness. Right now holding her as she slept, you were certain you never wanted to let go.

[antiquatedsimmer]

( Hello Everyone! Been awhile, had to rebuild my entire world & find horrible bug fixes. But I'm so happy to make a post! I hope u enjoy.) Subtitles will be available under the cut

So glad to be able to play my favorite pixels again, even if just for a little. I had a ER visit recently so I'm mostly sleeping till my health is better.

Everything was ruined in the save corruption, I had to completely start over, I mean complete restart, an entire new EA folder.

I love everything and had to rebuild my entire save + replace all locations in other worlds + remake broken sims.

Took forever..... But! I Tried to catch everything up to speed with a diary entry since a lot of stuff was lost in corruption.

Thank you for reading!

SUBTITLES:

Dear Diary, 1908

I am utterly exhausted… The rain jus' won't quit, and the Mud puddles cling to my skirts, chilling my ankles while dampening the hems of my dresses.

I'm struggling to tend to the farm like ah oughta, since Ma and Pa need so much care. Everyday I thank the Lord for Josephine,

The only thing we've ever expected of her was to make Silas happy, She's never lived or worked on a farm in her whole life...yet. She's taken it upon herself to learn the skills so that I don't have to do all the work alone. Josie's clothes aren't particularly built for gardening and are more for a garden party but her heart is in the right place. 

Perhaps I can get her some proper work gloves and boots... I couldn't stop laughing when her heel got stuck in a mud puddle. 

I'll be honest...I didn't expect Josie to enjoy living here, I figured going from a comfortable lifestyle to a poor farmers wife would be tough for anyone.

Did you know her father liked to bet on horses? Sometimes I wonder what its like having so much money u can afford to throw it away. 

I'm happy Josie is Happy here but, there are times I think about what if we had that money. Would Mama and Papa be cured? I Don't know… At the very least I would be getting better help, Josie can only do so much.

Silas hasn't lifted a finger in regard to anything involving the farm in a long time. I remember how he would beg Papa to allow him to learn so he could improve the farm for us.

I'm confident all aspirations of that are gone.

Now, all I hear is money money money. I know I don't know much but I think money changes people. Josie keeps me updated on Silas since we hardly speak anymore, she tells me He's been promoted to factory overseer and hired as a inventor for her fathers company.

She says he has the 1st patents for some of his inventions, which makes me a little confused, Where's all the money? If true we could be providing better for our family!

I would be angry if my heart wasn't already heavy with worry. The thought of living without Mama or Papa… Josie is the only thing keepin' me steady.

Her and the never-ending things that need to be done.

I pray every day for a change. Please Lord.

Yours truly,

Lucile

[edgarbright]

Ikemen Vampire Main Route // Charles chapter 23 thoughts

tl;dr Charles and his story are driving me insane and I love it so much

CHARLES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Holy shi-- That scene in the church was SO GOOD, FULL COURSE MEAL, PERFECT BAD-END TYPE OF CONTENT, I GOT TEARS IN MY EYES.

I was ready to murder Vlad if it turned out to JUST be a dream lol (MC's reaction and response at the end were so on point so thank you, girl.) I hadn't completely forgotten that moment two chapters ago between MC and Vlad before she suddenly woke up in the mansion (I am an Ikerev Loki gal, after all, so this isn't my first fake reality rodeo) but the church scene was so good it kind of pushed that moment to the back of my mind.

Because at the same time, I remembered the preview trailer where they showed Charles's CG of him bleeding out in the church while the voice over had him apologizing for his crimes and for being born. I thought this was going to be the moment.

So the MC and I were both in denial that he was dead while she feels his body going cold in her arms :')

And all the while MC is talking about the things Charles wasn't able to experience, like seeing the sunrise over the ocean, and that she needed to keep her promise with him. She asks Le Comte to bring Charles back.

Cue me nodding my head and getting intrigued at the idea of Charles being freed from the Cult of Vlad (affectionate) and getting to live the idle, wealthy lifestyle of one of le Comte's collection.

Except le Comte says he can't, he can't, because he can't sense any desire to live coming from Charles. (And the way le Comte said it breaks my heart because you could tell he regretted being unable to help.)

At last, after trying so hard, Charles had truly and utterly given up on everything. And he did it in the most horribly perfect way: as the God of Death, as a man who had experience executing thousands of people with both axe and guillotine, he killed himself with one perfect strike.

(And while I greatly appreciate the fact Cybird acknowledged his expertise to let him die with such quick precision, insert a hundred more pictures of the crying hamster here because my heart is broken!!!)

Fun fact: between Ikevamp and Ikevil, this is the third route in a row that I've read that has dealt with a suicidal Love Interest (which, hello, Cybird, that is a wild stat??? why do you have so many LI like this??) At this point in the story, however, I feel like Charles has the route that has best handled the topic in a narrative-rich and nuanced way.

Charles is so incredibly tragic and real that he's looking for hope to the point of endangering himself. He's sweet and funny and wildly friendly. He's also drowning in his tragedy and so he clings to people who might save him, such as Vlad, someone he even calls a God, someone who promises him a better world, a world where he doesn't have to experience the things that hurt him, a world where he can be happy and loved and accepted. I was thoroughly entranced in the scene where MC gets kidnapped (at last lol) and she sees how easily Charles defaults his will away to Vlad. Even though Charles asks questions several times which show his hesitancy and doubts, it becomes clear he isn't seeking truth. What he really wants are reassurances that this is right, that this is OK, that he's not making a mistake.

(He is an executioner through and through: someone else makes the choice for him. It's not his place to judge or decide.)

But in this way, Charles is just so wildly victim-coded to me in that I can clearly see him accepting abuse if it were called by any other name. When he speaks of his house calls, when he offers to let MC do anything--anything!--she wants to him, when we witness the group of men he lets beat him up (because he could have kept his truth without letting them abuse him), I dread to think what violence has been done to him in the dark streets of Paris that he has accepted in the past under the guise of the word love.

So the fact chapter 22 and 23 showed Charles realizing the solution to all his moral and ethical and emotional turmoil is to stop struggling and die, and that the story actually lets him succeed--albeit in a "highly possible future" scenario that Vlad reinforces will surely come to pass again at some point--hurt me in the best kind of way and I'm looking forward to how this route ends.

But Charles's highly probable suicide also brings up the question of why did Vlad pick Charles, of all people, to bring back as a vampire? Was Charles simply an ideal follower? Because the the key promise Vlad makes with Charles seems to make Charles somewhat useless for his plans: Charles won't have to kill anyone. What use is a perfect executioner who refuses to raise the sword?

The dynamic of Vlad, Faust, and Charles is wonderful though and I hope Vlad gives us a straight answer for the reason of his original experiment of MC teaching Charles love.

(Maybe helping Charles was Vlad's true experiment all along.)

[ferventrabbit]

Ao3 Fics

Hello hello! I thought I'd pin a post of my works on Ao3 :-). Here are the pairings I write:

Hannibal: Hannibal/Will Good Omens: Aziraphale/Crowley Interview with the Vampire: Lestat/Louis Our Flag Means Death: Ed/Stede Red White and Royal Blue: Alex/Henry

Fic Key

🤝 Collaborations

Series

🐭 Hannibal: Disney for Cannibals

🏡 Our Flag Means Death: Tales from a Seaside Inn

Completed longer works (>5k)

Hannibal

🐭 Tale as Old As Time (M): "I would consider very carefully before moving any further, Will," says Hannibal. Will can feel the mirth dancing in time with Molly's pulse. "What am I considering?" A great perhaps," he says. If he could learn to love another, the spell would be broken. But who could ever learn to love a beast? (24.7k)

Our Flag Means Death

🤝 Ariadne with art by @babykittenteach (E): While out thrifting for furniture and decorations for the inn, Ed comes across a painting that leads him on a journey of self-discovery and self-acceptance. (17.3k)

Down to Fall (E): Stede decides he wants to expand their repertoire, so to speak. Like all things worth having, it's worth working for. (5.9K)

High Point (T): Documentary videographer Ed Teach retired at the top of his game five years ago. An odd request from documentary producer Stede Bonnet has lured him back into the field to join a film crew in the mountains of India. Ed and Stede are looking for a snow leopard, but end up finding something unexpected along the way. (9.6k)

🏡 Old Friends (T): The crew of the Revenge pay the innkeepers a visit. (6.7k)

One Day You'll Awaken (T): A sea witch gives Edward Teach a gift - Blackbeard, a shadow, a sentinel - to keep him safe and strong. Her condition? He must keep Blackbeard close, or she will make sure he sleeps soundly forever. Stede Bonnet threatens to ruin her plans. (32.6k)

Red White and Royal Blue

Once in a Century (E): After the kiss everything goes to utter and complete shit. OR COVID-19 interferes with best laid plans. (23.7k)

Completed one-shots (<5k)

Hannibal

A Terror Quiet Calm (E): Will makes up his mind during Mizumono, when things could have ended differently. A Mizumono fix-it. (1.2k)

Conversion (T): The woodsman notices a presence in the wilderness. A giver of gifts. (2.5k)

Hot Stuff, or The night Hannibal realized he was well and truly whipped (T): Hannibal wakes up to find Will is missing. His search leads to some surprising discoveries. (2.1k)

Into the Dark (G): "In the dark Will looked like a shadow. Hannibal felt the soft sound of Will’s breathing on his skin, tasted it in his throat." Prepare for super creepy times! (1.3k)

Raindrop Prelude (T): Will and Hannibal, on a boat, feeling feels. (1K)

🐭 Poor Unfortunate Soul (M): Will would sell his soul to be rid of the nightmares that plague him. Or, at least, his voice. (4.9k)

Surge (E): "He remembers that look in the kitchen, tries to place it. He’d seen flashes of it in Baltimore: the night of Clark Ingram’s arrest and maybe even the first time they met, glimpsed from the corner of Will’s eye. Then in Italy, seated together at the feet of spring. He doesn’t think about the cliff – can’t, or else his lungs tighten and he feels like he can’t breathe, like he might be dying." (2.3k)

The Tide (M): Based on this prompt: I can’t shake this idea: Hannibal and Will being intimate for the first time and being utterly overwhelmed by it. (1.5k)

🐭 Trust in Me (G): Will is lost in the jungle. He finds refuge in a familiar place. (2.1k)

Until (M): Will is desperate for an end. Hannibal will fight him every step of the way. (1.8k)

Interview with the Vampire

Room for One More (E): Baby Vampire's First Night In. or: Louis is feeling some type of way about sleeping in a coffin, but after some finagling he and Lestat finally get it right. (2.3k)

Good Omens

Hush (M): Aziraphale has returned from heaven, but there are things still left unsaid. Crowley has finally had enough. (2.1k)

Our Flag Means Death

A record of the kingly duties of Maximilian, cat about town (T): Maximilian may be a new cat on the island, but it looks like he'll need to teach these clueless human innkeepers a thing or two. This fic is a remix of "Leave a Mark" by dance_across. (1.8k)

Anchor (E): Ed assures Stede that their first time was not a mistake, which Stede desperately needs (AND DESERVES) to hear. (1.7k)

🤝 Canvas(s): Not just for sails anymore with @the-widow-olivia (T): Stede is newly divorced and ready to turn over a new leaf. Ed is trying to escape the monotony of his day-to-day life. Sparks fly when they are paired up at a "Get Out The Vote!" event. (6.4k)

Captain's Quarters (G): Ed and Stede platonically share a bed and feel feelings, like pirates do. (2.3k)

Daylight (E): Ed doesn't know what to do with himself when Stede comes back, until he does. (2.1k)

🏡 Filled (E): Stede thinks about what it would be like if he could carry Ed’s child, which leads where all roads lead during Bottom Stede Week. (3.6k)

🏡 Filled Out (E): Ed tries to figure out how he feels about his body post-piracy. A post-season 2 inn fic. (1.6k)

The Finer Points (G): Stede expands his fancy pants curriculum to include a simple waltz. (1.9k)

🏡 First Night (E): Truly just an entire fic of Ed and Stede making out in this shitty house. A post-season 2 inn fic. (2.1k)

Five Kisses (E): A chronicle of five important kisses on the good ship Blackbonnet. (2.3k)

🤝 Forever's Gonna Start Tonight with @shieldmaidenofmithrilhall (G): As the total solar eclipse approaches, two strangers meet at the top of a mountain, one with a telescope and one with a picnic basket full of eclipse treats. (5k)

Holdover (E): A PWP in which Stede wears a nightie for one reason and one reason only. (3.5k)

I Feel Pretty (E): Stede engaging in body worship of Ed, his preferred occupation. (1.4k)

Interlude (E): A PWP missing scene from 2x08 because BOYFRIENDS. (1.7k)

Leather and Silk (E): A PWP based on the “leather and silk” bts we received from Samba 🙏. (1.6k)

Midnight on the Revenge (G): Literally just a smol fic about Stede holding Ed until he falls asleep because I need that, okay? (1k)

🤝 Milkmaid with @dracothelizard (E): Stede remembers the little song he and Ed sang at the floating market, and Ed decides it’s as good a day as any to show Stede the true meaning of “all things milk.” (4.6k)

🤝 Perfectly Ordinary Tuesday with @petrichorca (M): Dave just wanted a place to sleep for the night, but he gets a lot more than he bargained for when the owners of a seaside inn make him an unwitting participant in their wedding. Will he make it through the ceremony unscathed? And what’s that seagull doing here? (4.9k)

Pinned (E): Ed has been thinking about Calypso's Birthday since they arrived at the inn, specifically about Stede shoving him up against a wall - the strength of his arms, the look in his eyes. Maybe it's finally time to ask for a repeat performance. (2.5k)

Reset (E): Ed notices Stede looking at him more than usual, leaving them both a bit hot and bothered. He proposes a failsafe plan to give them both a reset. What could go wrong? Set sometime between 2x05 and 2x06. (5k)

🤝 Row Your Boat with @petrichorca (T): A missing scene following the events of season 2, episode 4, “Fun and Games.” Ed’s agreed to come back to the Revenge with Stede for the night, but they’ve got two dinghies to row back to the ship—will the distance between them linger? (3.3k)

Skintight (E): Ed wears a set of lingerie that he's kept in the back of his closet before now. Stede does what anyone would do after seeing Ed in lingerie, bless him. (3.7k)

🏡 Soft Open (T): Ed and Stede start sprucing up their inn and welcome Mary and Doug for a soft open. (3.3k)

Storm (G): Stede helps Ed through his grief in the season 2 finale. (1k)

Taking it Slow (E): As requested, Stede takes it slow. (2k)

That Ship Has Sailed (E): My interpretation of what happened after Calypso's birthday. (2.1k)

The Lube That Fell to Earth (E): A fic in honor of the Astroglide lube-along, in which Ed and Stede are in receipt of a gift from outer space. (4.1k)

🏡 Threshold (T): Ed and Stede take turns carrying each other over the threshold of the inn. Eventually, they cross it together. (2.6k)

🏡 Tucked In (E): Discussion of first times and new discoveries under the Wee John blanket. A post-season 2 inn fic. (2.7k)

Wanted (T): The fuckery after their inevitable discovery at the inn, and what it means for Ed. Written for the #13DaysofCrimesmas! (2.7k)

Wide Awake (M): Five times Stede wakes Ed up, and one time Ed returns the favor. Set throughout seasons 1 and 2. (2.2k)

Works for Spiders, Works for Men (G): Stede rescues Ed from a formidable eight-legged foe. (575)

Works in progress

Good Omens

The Second Coming and Other Heavenly Tales (T): Aziraphale is the new Supreme Archangel of Heaven, and he's made a huge mistake. As Aziraphale navigates a tricky heavenly web, Crowley tries to find a way forward - is there one? - while being periodically interrupted by wishful Bentley songs and transmissions from Alpha Centurai. Can the ineffable duo save Earth from "Plan C?" Will the ducks in St. James' park ever get the good bread again? Join my headcanon for season 3 to find out! (16.5k, 15/20)

[sailoryooons]

hey dear hali, i wanna say so many things but my english is so bad and i'm too excited to write a normal message so please just don't mind my broken english lmao

so, imma be honest, and please forgive me, but when i first saw your yoongi x jimin story i only started reading cause i saw the fanart a few weeks before, maybe around yoongi's birthday i guess, when i first saw it i was like eeehmm, i'm not into ships but oh fuck this fanart is hot af, jimin straddling on a half naked yoongi with a gun in his hand demanding to marry him lmfao, loved the energy. so when i saw it again on your page i felt the same emotions and i was skeptical at first, but in the end i was like okay, imma give it a shot.

and oh, did i regret? absolutely not.

it was the first ship story i read and I LOVED IT. hali, i adore you so much, cause you made me enjoy your story even tho i was unsure what to expect and i thought i will stop reading somewhere at first sight cause i'm not particularly into shipping bts in general, (idk why tho cause i often read bl, yeah, i'm weird) but omg you write so beautifully and enchantingly i became absolutely immersed with the whole story the moment i started reading!!! the whole idea, the storyline, the characters, everything so brilliant omg i love your sexy brain!! THE ANGST, OMG, it was intense, the emotions so raw and vivid. the storyline was so well written and powerful. aaaahh my brain stopped working and my english is so bad idk what else should i say to express my love towards you and your stories. you're truly an amazing writer, hali! you always completely and utterly capture me with what you write cause you write your stories with so much love and so much care, and it doesn't matter what you write about, you always create a masterpiece. <3

AND THE CERRY ON TOP...... LITERALLY!! jimin as the top? OH MY GOD, I LOVE, whenever i run into ship stories i always see jimin as the bottom so when i realized jimin is the top i went feral fr AKSKAJSJDK

HI HELLO first off - your English is not bad and even if it was, two languages is more than I can speak fluently! I am so glad you decided to read Samsara! The art is absolutely amazing and I was so so so inspired when Jai sent it in.

In regards to the ship aspect - this is totally just my view and not everyone's POV or thought process but I always view 'fic shipping/pairing' as very different from actual shipping/pairing. I enjoy reading/engaging in media where members are used as characters and are paired together, but I by no means thing it's any representation of actual life/think they're together. Still, I am really happy that you decided to read, even with that hesitation! You can always approach media you're unsure about with a healthy caution!

Thank you so much for all the kind words. My goal when writing anything is to feel like you're transported to somewhere else, especially when I'm writing anything fantasy/supernatural or that takes place in a world that's different from here, so to speak.

Ugh this was so so so nice. Thank you for writing, thank you for saying such nice things, thank you for giving this fic a chance!

[jhdyuiee]

White Lies

༊*·˚ pairing: CEO!jaehyun x EX-gf!y/n ; ex’s to lovers

༊*·˚ warnings/tags: fluff, angst, pregnancy, second chances, kissing/making out, suggestive, drinking, cursing, possessive jaehyun, jaehyun & y/n have a child together, slow-burn

༊*·˚ wc: 19.5k +

༊*·˚ a.n: finally! after working on this for 2 months i’ve finished it :) ! i mainly blame school for this && suprisingly my own life as well… anyhow i hope you all enjoy this fic, it’s quite litterly my baby, my first born, per say? fun fact! i named this before NCT 127 song “White Lie” && felt like it was fate (?), so i kept the title, haha. thank you though && i wish you all a late, but a Happy New Year ! stay tuned for what’s next & what i have in store this year! stay safe, jiji out 🤍

If there were a moment in my life I regret, it’d be meeting him.

Jeong Jaehyun was his name. His name, once a melody to my ears, became something so unpleasant to hear.

‘Why?’ was all I could ask myself. It’d been well around 3 years since I left, since I’d broken up with him and 3 years later I’m still dealing with the hole he reptured in my heart. But slowly that hole has recovered it’s pieces; thanks to my baby boy, Chaemin. Before I broke up with him, I’d found out I was pregnant with his child- our child, but I never got the chance to tell him…

“Mommy.”

A little voice called out for me, pulling me out of my trance.

“Yes my baby.”

My sweet Chaemin looked right at me with those beautiful chocolate like-doe eyes.

“Siwoo asked if I could go over to his home tomorrow,” hesitation in his voice. “to play.”

“Of course you can! You know Chaemin, I always tell you you’re free to do whatever you want, I want nothing but happiness for you.”

His eyes smiled and his dimples popped out, how could he be so cute! He truly is my entire world, my universe. I snapped out of my thoughts when I heard the doorbell ring. I walked to the door and opened it, noticing an unfamiliar figure. ‘Who is this stranger?’ Standing in front of my door was a tall figure, dressed in a suit. ‘What could he want with me?’

“Hello, are you Ms. Y/N Lee?” the man asked.

“Yes? Who’s asking?”

“Oh sorry about that, I’m Johnny, Johnny Suh and I work for J.corps.”

‘J.Corps? The cosmetics company I applied to?’

“We received your application and the CEO has reviewed it and asked if you’re available tomorrow at 10:00 a.m for an interview,” he explained.

‘Was this real? I’m not dreaming am I?’ After quitting my last job, I’d finally be able to work again.

“Oh my god, yea of course. I’ll be there.”

“Well then Ms. Lee we look forward to seeing you tomorrow,” he said as he bowed.

“Yes, thank you so much!” I bowed as well.

“Have a good day miss,” Johnny said, smiling before departing. I watched him as he walked to his car, giving me a wave.

“Wow- woah,” was all I let out as I closed the door, still utterly shocked.

✧˚ · .

Johnny entered his car, whipping out his phone from his suit pocket. He dialed a number, the person on the other line picking up on the third ring.

“You’re done? That quick?” The voice of a man on the other line. “How was it Johnny, was it really her?” The man kept pestering questions at Johnny.

“Well sir, if my eyes don’t deceive then yes sir, it was her.”

“You’re a dead man if it isn’t her. You know how long I’ve looked for her, trying to find her,” he said in a desperate voice.

“Yes, Jae I know.”

✧˚ · .

“Chaemin! Come out for dinner!” I brought the plates to the tables when I heard his little footsteps running.

“Come wash your hands first,” I told him when I noticed marker all over his little fingertips. I picked him up and headed to the kitchen sink when he washed and dried his hands.

“Mommy,” he asked, drying his hands.

“Yes, my baby, what is it?” I looked at him, putting him down.

“I made you a drawing.”

“Really!? Can you show me after we finish up our food,” I smiled at him. I placed him in his chair and sat in mine, enjoying another peaceful dinner, just the two of us.

“I’m done! Now can I show you my drawing mommy?” he asked.

“Of course, go fetch it.”

He didn’t need to asked twice, running as fast as possible to retrieve the drawing. I could hear his footsteps as he came running back. He stopped in front of me and handed me the drawing.

I froze.

“Chaemin, why are there three people?” I asked, I already knew who the third person was, but I still wanted to hear it from him.

“Ah him? That’s my daddy,” he said innocently.

I let out a soft chuckle, not taking my eyes off the drawing. “It’s a lovely drawing baby. I’m sure your daddy would’ve thought so as well.” He let out another smile, dimples appearing once again.

“Here, take it to your room, I’ll make sure to hang it up later,” I said as I handed the drawing back to him. He took it back, running back to his room. I watched as he left.

I sighed, running a hand through my hair. It wasn’t like he didn’t know about his father. I never wanted him thinking he had no father or that his father had abandoned us. No, never. Instead, I told him a white lie.

“Your father is working overseas and can’t fly out every time to see us.”

Pathetic, right?

But I just wanted him to be happy, living in a world where he has two parents, not just one.

But I know that one day this white lie will have to end, the truth will be revealed.

✧˚ · .

After I’d finished cleaning up the table and dishes, I went to see Chaemin in his room.

“Ready for bed?” I asked, entering his room.

“Yes mommy,” he said, yawning.

I picked him up and headed towards the bathroom to give him a quick bath and then dressed him in his favorite dinosaur printed pj’s. He asked me to read him a bedtime story, in which I complied. He laid in bed as I read Peter Pan. By the time I finished reading and looked to see Chaemin, he was already peacefully sleeping. He looked so adorable. I pecked his nose and whispered “Goodnight my Chaemin-ie.”

I placed the book back where it belonged and headed out, making sure not to make the slightest noise.

I headed towards my room and grabbed my phone. I scrolled through it for a while, until I received a call. It was Soyoung.

Soyoung and I have known each other since elementary, we practically grew up together. She’s seen me at my lows and highs, sticking to me like a sticker. When she found out I was pregnant with his child she stuck by my side through the pregnancy. Honestly, what would I do without her?

“Hey Y/N!" Soyoung answered excitedly.

“Hey, what’s with all this energy?” I asked her, she couldn't possibly be drunk right now.

“Hehe, I just missed you,” she replied.

“It’s almost 11:00 p.m, yet you’re out here missing me?”

“Yes, how could I not, I’ve been stuck at the company all day. Anyways, how's my Chaemin-ie?” she asked.

“I just put him to sleep a while ago,” I told her.

“Awh, I wanted to talk to him,'' Soyoung said, with a hint of sadness in her voice.

“It’s too late for him to be up, besides he has a playdate tomorrow. Speaking of which, can you go with him?” I asked Soyoung.

“Huh? Yeah, sure I can, but where are you going tomorrow?” she questioned me.

“Ah, well remember the company I applied to, J Corps?”

“Yeah, the famous makeup company,” she replied.

“Well, earlier today a young man, I believe his name was Johnny, came to tell me to go to the interview tomorrow,” I explained.

“He came to your home?” Soyoung asked.

“Yeah.”

“Couldn’t they just send you a message, call you? Why’d he make his way all the way to your home to tell you something so simple?” Soyoung asked.

She had a point, I applied my information on the application, so they had access to that, so why’d he come in person to tell me something so trivial? “I don’t know, maybe they just function differently?” I just said, trying to shrug it off.

“Hmm, well then what time do you want me to pick him up?” she asked me.

“9:00, please. His playdate isn’t til 11 though, but I’ll probably still be stuck in the interview, I’ll be sure to send you the location too,” I informed her.

“Sounds good, I’ll stop by early tomorrow, get some rest, now Y/N,” she said.

“Good Night Soyoung” I wished her warmly.

Once our call had ended, I headed off, readying myself for bed. I hopped in the shower, dressed myself in my silk pajama gown, and did my skincare. It felt so peacefully, yet lonely. I tried not thinking too much, tucking myself off to bed.

Minutes passed by, my eyes were still awake. I couldn’t sleep. Was I thinking too much? Was I nervous for my interview tomorrow? Whatever it may be, it seems it’d keep me up for a while.

But as the wind blew and the night sky got darker I drifted off, finally dreaming away.

✧˚ · .

Ring. Ring. Ring.

My alarm kept ringing as it went off. I dreaded mornings and the bright sunlight that pierced through my bedroom curtains. I grabbed my phone that laid on the nightstand and checked the time, 7:00 a.m. Feeling a bit groggy, I got up from my bed and headed towards the bathroom. I showered to fully wake myself up and grabbed my best pair of professional clothes I could find. ‘First impressions count,’ I reminded myself.

I grabbed a pair of stockings to top it all off and thankfully these didn’t have a hole in them already. I proceeded to do my makeup, settling for something natural and my hair, giving it slight curls. I checked myself out in the mirror, patting my skirt, feeling satisfied with how I looked. Hoping this leaves a good impression on them.

8:15 a.m. It was now time to get Chaemin ready. I let him sleep a while longer, making sure he has enough energy for his playdate.

“Chaemin, baby time to get up” I said softly, stroking his hair.

“Mmm” he said.

“You gotta wake up love, we can’t have Siwoo waiting all alone” I said trying to convince him. He lifted himself up, being half-asleep and half-awake.

“What do you want to wear today?” I asked him, getting off his bed, going to his closest.

“Um, you can pick mommy,” he said looking at me.

I grabbed him a pair of jeans and a white shirt that had some drawings on it. I dressed him up, tied his shoes on, and carried him to the bathroom. I sat him on the bathroom counter. I ran the water, gently cleaning his face and slightly wetting his hair.

“Are you more up now baby,” I teased him. He looked at me and giggled. I then carried him again, making our way to the kitchen. I’d placed him on his chair.

“Stay here, while I prepare some breakfast,” I told him. He nodded his head.

I made us a simple breakfast, scrambled eggs, some waffles (Chaemin loves waffles), and a couple of sliced fruits. I brought out our breakfast and saw that Chaemin-in the midst of me making breakfast-had grabbed his tablet. That sly little boy.

“Breakfast is served,” I tell him, placing the plates down. He gives it a look and I swear this boy already has drool running down his mouth. “Don’t just look at it baby, dig in,” I tell him.

As we finished eating the doorbell rang. I got up looking through the peephole, seeing Soyoung waiting on the other end. I opened it and was quickly embraced into a hug.

“I’ve missed you!” she yelled, leaping into my arms.

“Me too,” I said but it was inaudible as my face was squished on her.

Footsteps of little feet could be heard. “AH! CHAEMIN!!!” Soyoung practically throws me aside now, “My sweet little child.”

“AUNTIE SOO!” Chamin yelled, running towards Soyoungs open arms. I watched as they warmly embraced one another.

“Chaemin, I can’t tell who you love more, me or auntie soo?”

He lets go and answers, “Obviously you mommy!”

“Come on Y/N, we haven’t seen each other in ages!”

“I know, but someone is just so busy being loving dovey with her soon-to-be,” I roll my eyes.

“Oh come on, I didn’t know Eunhyuck was gonna surprise me with a trip to Bali and then when I returned to a pile full of work!”

“Whatever, you can catch me up later. It's almost time for me to go, Chaemin’s things are already packed in his backpack upstairs in his room. Call me if you need anything or an emergency emerges. I’ll let you know when I’m out of there.”

“Got it ma’am.” My eyes rolled at the use of the word “ma’am.”

“I’ll try to be back as soon as possible.” I go over to Chaemin who sat at Soyoung’s lap. “Be a good boy while i’m gone, I love you. Mommy will be back soon,” I kiss his cheek.

“Yes mommy, Chaemin will make sure not to cause any trouble,” he smiled.

I pat his head and head to the door, they followed behind me. “Good luck!” They wished me. I gave Soyoung a parting hug and a last kiss to Chaemin which he gave me back in return.

Thus, I was off to whatever or whoever awaited me at J.Corps. Suddenly, feeling an eerily sensation running through me.

✧˚ · .

The ride to J.Corps was not long, a 15 minute commute.

One word though: Exquisite. The building was tall and quite wide. It ran from one end of the street to the other, and was made entirely of glass, yet maintained a modern look to it. In and out went people of all kinds, yet I felt like an outsider, out of place- out of touch?

‘Get a grip Y/N.’ I made my way inside and had my breath taken away. It just got a whole lot better on the inside, it feels as though I landed the jackpot. I can’t fuck this up.

“Hello, I’m here for an interview,” I asked the front desk receptionist. She looked young, mid 20’s? But yet so young, not to mention beautiful.

“Your name?” She asked kindly.

“Y/N Lee.”

She then dialed the telephone, “Hello, sir the applicant Y/N Lee is here, should I send her up now?” “Alright I’ll let her be on her way up,” she replied and hung up. “If you walk straight and take a right you’ll find the elevators, and head on up to level 14,” she explained. “And here take this pass so security can let you through,” she handed me a lanyard pass with the words “Applicant Y/N Lee” labeled across.

“Thank you,” I said to her and bowed.

I headed in the direction of the elevators, there was a hurdle of workers waiting.

Ding.

Luckily the elevators didn’t take long and I was on my way. I pressed the 14, which was the highest level this building had.

My nerves were settling in again. I felt sick to my stomach, fingers fidgeting.

Ding.

That was my stop. I stepped out and took a deep breath. Once I opened my eyes a familiar figure was in front of me. It was that man, Johnny.

“Hey there Y/N, glad to see you again,” he greeted me. I suddenly felt at ease.

“Are you the-” “No. no, no” he quickly shut me down.

“The big man is behind those doors,” he pointed toward the space surrounded by glass walls and doors. Though you couldn’t see who was inside.

“Shall we?” he asked, guiding the way. I nodded and we proceeded down the hall.

I looked to my left and right, observing everything bit by bit. I noticed a work space close, stopping in my tracks, “Is this where you work?” I asked Johnny.

“Ah yes, I'm more or less like his right hand man.” he smiled, seemingly proud.

We continued a bit further down, until we reached the doors. Before Johnny opened the doors I could’ve sworn he gave me a sympathetic look, but it must have been my imagination, I mean what could be awaiting me behind those doors is nothing, right? As he opened them we walked further inside.

“Sir, Y/N Lee is here,” Johnny notified the man standing looking outside the window.

The man was tall, well built, he didn’t look old, in fact he looked around my age. His hair was slightly slicked back. He felt almost nostalgic.

“Hello sir, I’m Y/N Lee it’s a pleasure to me-”

As he turned around, I didn’t need to see or be told who that man was, it was Jaehyun.

Jeong Jaehyun

The same man from 3 years ago.

What was Jeong Jaehyun doing here?

Why was Jeong Jaehyun here?

How was Jeong Jaehyun here?

“It’s nice seeing you again… Y/N” Jaehyun spoke, his voice so bittersweet.

Jaehyun’s POV

After the front receptionist called me up, I sent Johnny to wait by the elevators.

Nervous, wouldn’t be the right word to describe my feelings right now.

After 3 years, three, in which I spent looking for her, trying to find out her whereabouts, she was finally coming back.

That day, it still haunts me, it’s like I'm stuck there repeating those moments over and over again.

No matter how long it’s been she’s still mine, mine to love, adore, cherish, support, protect, and die for.

When I saw she applied for my company I couldn’t believe it. I thought it was a dream, or perhaps someone impersonating her, but no it was like I was given another chance, fate perhaps. I accepted it without hesitation, though sending Johnny to go over to her home was a bit much, I still wanted to verify and confirm it was indeed her. She was going to be mine again and this time I won’t let her slip through my fingers.

When I heard her voice, the most beautiful melody, a voice that I had missed hearing every hour, every minute, everyday. But when I turned to get a look at her for the first time after 3 years, her face looked drained of color. Like she’d come face to face with her worst nightmare.

“It’s nice seeing you again… Y/N” I spoke. Her name, finally saying it to her again.

“Yo-you” she spoke softly, head to the floor, “What are you doing here” she asked.

Silence.

I signaled Johnny out the room, I knew this encounter wouldn’t be a happy one, far from it.

“What do you mean? I’m here to conduct your interview,” Jaehyun answered.

“Don’t tell me you're the-” “CEO? Yes, that would be me. Let me introduce myself, I’m Jeong Jaehyun, CEO of J.Corps,” he explained, walking over, closer.

I lifted my head. He was in front of me now. We looked at each other, burning our gazes into each other.

“So what, you wanted to mock me? Ridicule me? Humiliate me?” I yelled, holding back tears.

How could the 3 years I spent, forgetting, moving on come crumbling down in a matter of seconds.

He came closer, but I backed away, “No, Y/N I would never do that. That was never my intention, I just wanted to… to see you again. Do you know how hard it’s been for me since you left?”

Oh?

3 years ago…

Y/N version:

It was a particularly cold January day. Y/N found herself waiting in the big shared apartment complex for Jaehyun. Awaiting his arrival so that she could announce the big news…

Her pregnancy.

As of late Y/N hasn’t been feeling her best and after she missed her menstrual cycle, she put 2 and 2 together. So upon taking several pregnancy tests and a doctor visit, she indeed got the confirmation she needed. She was pregnant, 3 weeks to be exact, according to her doctor. Oh boy, was she excited, it was her dream, this child inside her was not only hers, but Jaehyun’s as well. Their child.

As every second, minute, and hour passed, Jaehyun was still not home. But, Y/N didn’t let this bother her as Jaehyun had been occupied with work, as of late, resulting in him coming home late. As she waited she watched whatever television show, a means of keeping herself awake. In the midst of this her phone pinged. A message. Her mind went immediately to Jaehyun, but that fantasy got shut down in a matter of seconds. It was her brother, Taeyong Lee.

Taeyong: Isn’t this Jaehyun?

Then proceeded to send an image. In a matter of seconds her world came crumbling down.

The image in question was of Jaehyun, no matter how much she tried denying it, it was useless because that was him. Jaehyun with some other woman. They were hugging or more like cuddling one another, seemingly enjoying each other's company.

Y/N: Yes… but who’s that besides him?

Her mind was overflowing with questions and her heart was overflowing with emotions.

Taeyong: To tell you the truth, I don’t know. I came out for some drinks with my friends and well he was here

Taeyong: At first, I wasn’t sure but it sure did seem like him

Taeyong: So I took the picture to verify with you it really was him

‘What the fuck. Does this mean all this time he was out doing supposed “work” he was partying up at some club with god knows how many women?’ was what she thought. She didn’t know what to do, what to feel. But, she tried suppressing her emotions as she remembered she was carrying a child after all. The doctor told her earlier not to put too much strain as it could be bad for the baby. Yet that didn’t stop the tears from coming out. They flowed down her face.

How could he?

Why would he?

In those moments she realized what she needed to do. It was to get out. Leave him. And so she did. She called Soyoung asking for a place to stay, explaining everything, minus the baby part as she feared she might’ve made her want to murder Jaehyun even more than she would’ve. Packing her stuff, leaving not one single trace of her behind.

Fuck this and Fuck him.

3 years ago…

Jaehyun’s version:

Lately, Jaehyun has been stuck working non-stop as he was in the midst of preparing to inherit his father’s company. He kept this a secret from Y/N, wanting to surprise her. But, this particular night ended differently from the rest. His colleagues, Mark and Jungwoo suggested going to a bar for some drinks, as a way to get Jaehyun to take a break. Jaehyun was left with no option but to oblige. So the trio went out to a local bar not far from the office. Though, it seems like Jaehyun had a little too much. Was it all the stress from working so hard? Yet, needless to say, he was drunk.

That was when another trio, some woman came in and joined them, but Jaehyun, being drunk, practically passed out, doesn’t take into account one of them bundled up against him.

In that moment was when Taeyong entered the same bar and spotted him. From Taeyong’s perspective it looked like they were all up on each other but in reality that really wasn’t the case.

After some time, the girls left the trio by themselves, finding other men to be with. Mark was somewhat sober and noted Jaehyn was asleep so he tried reaching out to Johnny to get him to come get Jaehyun.

Johnny drove Jaehyun to Johnny’s apartment complex. Getting Jaehyun out was a hassle, it was like dealing with a dead but very much alive body. He placed Jaehyun on his bed and slept on the couch.

Oh, was Jaehyun gonna get an earful when he’d awaken.

Jaehyun awoke the next morning, his head stinged, possibly from all the drinks he’d had last night. He looked around, noticing an unfamiliar setting.

‘Where am I?’ he wondered. This wasn’t the shared apartment he had with Y/N. That was when a familiar figure opened the door, Johnny.

“Finally, you’re awake! You seriously need to calm down on the drinks man,” Johnny nagged. He handed Jaehyun some medication, to help with the hangover. “Since you’re awake want some breakfast?”

“No, I’m good, I'll go eat with Y/N she must be worried. Can I at least use your shower?” Jaehyun asked.

Johnny agreed and showed him to the bathroom and lended him some of his clothes. After showering Jaehyun noticed his phone was on the floor, it must've fallen when he laid down. He opened it, but to his surprise no calls nor texts from Y/N.

‘That’s weird? Is she mad?’ Jaehyun wondered, after all he didn’t tell her he wouldn’t be home last night. So he tried calling her, no answer, he tried again, again no answer. He began panicking, imagining the worst. He rushed out of the bedroom, to Johnny.

“Can you drive me back home, I need to go NOW!”

“Sure, but what’s wrong?” Johnny tried asking.

“It’s Y/N she’s not answering my calls or my messages.”

Johnny asked nothing more and the two left the apartment. Johnny sensed a sense of urgency and desperacy from Jaehyun.

Once they arrived Jaehyun didn’t waste time, not bidding nor thanking Johnny. He ran, like his life depended on it. Jaehyun entered the door code and opened the apartment door.

It was dark, deprived of any light. It felt cold, like if the freezer had been left open. He called her name, yet again no answer.

Jaehyun was scared. Scared to even turn on the lights. Scared of what he may find. But when the lights shunned in that room, it felt as though death came to him. He searched every room for Y/N. When he reached the bedroom his clothes were scattered and Y/N’s completely gone. No note left from Y/N, nothing, not a single trace.

She was gone. Everything of and about her was gone. Her scent was gone too.

And at that moment, Jaehyun felt that he’d lost you. Forever.

3 years ago…

the following day

I’d finally awoken, last night's events playing in my head. It was a nightmare. Jaehyun had been cheating on me in the disguise of “work.” After being together for 6 years I thought nothing could stop our love, stop us, but it seems like this universe had other plans in mind. I’d gotten up from Soyoung’s bed, turning to my left where my phone laid on a night stand. I grabbed it, powering it back on.

20+ missed calls, 20+ messages all from Jaehyun.

Messages like, “Where are you?” “Y/N please tell me where are you” “I’m sorry Y/N please come back” “Answer me Y/N”

‘What the actual fuck’ I thought. Was he serious right now? After everything he did, he’s out here begging me?

I got up from bed and headed outside. I looked for Soyoung and she was nowhere to be found, only leaving behind a small post-it note with the words, “Went to work, call me if anything :)”

I was alone again, well I still had my baby with me. I stroked my stomach, remembering to eat some breakfast, for the sake of my child. While I ate I thought about how I still needed to break-up with him, end this... For my sake and for my child’s.

With courage I opened his contact. And typed

Y/N: Meet me at your apartment. I’ll be there at 2.

He immediately read it, three dots typing

Jaehyun: Do you mean our apartment?

Jaehyun: Y/N?

Jaehyun: Fine, i’ll be here waiting for you

I didn’t answer back, why should I? I’d made my intentions clear.

I got ready, using the clothes I’d brought with me and wrote Soyoung a post-it in case she came back earlier, and headed off. Facing Jaehyun wasn’t going to be easy, but I had to, I had to get out of this.

When I arrived it was like Jaehyun was waiting for me, the door opened before I could put in the code. He looked disheveled, miserable, like his life had been sucked out of him. I stepped inside, closing the door behind me. He got closer, trying to embrace me into a hug, but I backed away him down. He was shocked, he knew this wasn’t like me, in fact I loved his embraces, his warm touch, but knowing those arms touched someone else’s, embraced someone else made me disgusted. He disgusts me.

“Y- Y/N?”

I gathered up all my courage, fighting back tears, clenching my fist.

“Let’s break-up Jae.”

Those words were like Jaehyun’s second death.

“N-no, Y/N what? Why? What’s wrong, le-let’s talk it out, please” tears started spilling from his eyes, his voice shaken.

“There’s nothing to say Jae, let’s end this here and now. Please, I- I just can’t do this anymore, I don’t love you anymore,” lies, how could I not anymore? Jaehyun is all I wanted. He was the perfect boyfriend, I truly love him. After all I was to- we were to have a child together, but he would much rather warmly embrace another…

I looked into his eyes, tears overflowing from those chocolate like eyes of his. Nothing was said, it was silent until he spoke again, “Fine, if that’s how you truly feel then fine, I won’t blame you…” he hesitated for a moment before finally saying it, “let’s break up.”

At that moment, tears were threatening to fall down, but I couldn't, I wanted to stay strong for just a little while longer. I made my way to the door, wanting nothing more but to get out of here.

I took one last look, he was still standing there, lifeless. I’m sorry Jae, but I wasn’t gonna be by his side and act like nothing happened.

“Goodbye Jaehyun,” I said, coldly, with no emotion. I felt numb, my heart was ruptured into a million pieces.

There was no more us. It was over.

Back to Present

“Look, Jaehyun, how about we end this talk? What happened in the past, doesn’t matter. I’ve moved on and you should’ve too,” I told him.

“Ye-yeah, you’re right after all I called you in for an interview, not to argue about our past.” he said before continuing, “please have a seat” he gestured to the chair in front of his desk.

I sat down, taking a deep breath in before bracing myself. I’m here to get a job after, even if that means having my ex-boyfriend, aka my child’s father as my boss.

“Now Y/N you applied to be my secretary, right?” he asked.

“Yes before I knew you were to be my boss,” slight attitude in voice. Mainly because I still found the whole situation a bit annoying.

“What? Do you not want the job any more?”

“I DO!” I yelled. How else was I gonna support Chaemin, making sure he got everything he needed in life.

“Fine then, let me ask you some questions,” he said, getting more serious. He really stepped into his job as CEO.

The interview took some time, but by the end of it I felt some confidence.

“One last question” he abruptly questioned. I nodded signaling him to proceed.

“Are you truly fine with working with me? You know being my secretary means having to be by my side at all times.”

I gave it some thought, ‘Was this his way of saying I got the job?’ If so, I have to say no, maybe it’ll be a pain, but again for Chaemin’s sake I have to. As long as he doesn’t find out about Chaemin.

“Yes… It’s like I told you before Jaehyun what happened in the past happened and I've moved on.”

He studied me and my face for a while before proceeding to say, “Fine then, you're hired.”

I instantly gleamed with happiness, finally a stable job where I'd receive a stable income. No more part-time job at some restaurants or grocery stores.

“THANK YOU MR. JEONG!” I bowed, giving Jaehyun my thanks.

“You know it feels weird having you bow to me, don’t do that again unless you wanna get fired.” he joked. “You can start the day after tomorrow. I’ll tell Johnny to send you your schedule later and a set of company rules.”

“Alright, thank you once again.”

“I’ll see you the day after tomorrow then… Bye Y/N or should I say Ms. Lee,” he said, giving a slight smile. His dimples on display, the same dimples like Chaemin’s.

“You can just call me by my name, it feels weird being called Ms. Lee by you,” I say walking towards the doors.

I heard Jaehyun briefly chuckle at my remark saying, “As you wish Ms. Y/N.”

I stopped, not opening the door yet and turned around one last time. “Goodbye Mr. Jeong.”

He gave me a wave and I returned one back. Opening and closing his office doors.

As I walked back to the elevators, I heard someone call my name. The voice in question was Johnny. He came towards me stopping 3 feet from me. Bowing he said, “I’m so sorry Y/N I know you probably hate Jaehyun yet I deliberately kept his identity from you… but it’s just the guy has really been a mess since you left, I’m not saying this in the hopes of anything, but really Y/N... Jaehyun may seem like nothings bothering him, especially something that took place years ago, but it’s still an everlasting nightmare engraved in him.”

I was speechless to say the least. I thought maybe he would’ve moved on and exaggerated earlier when he said, “Do you know how hard it’s been for me since you left?”

Answering Johnny I said, “Oh, no, no it’s fine I mean it hasn’t been easy for me either, but I found a new happiness, something to live for,” I said smiling as I remembered Chaemin’s bright dimpled-smile.

The elevator finally arrived, my cue to leave. I bowed to Johnny, “Thank you though… for everything,” I said, indicating at looking after and taking care of Jaehyun all this time.

As the doors closed I saw Johnny smiling, giving me a wave goodbye.

On the elevator ride down, I thought about what had just happened, trying to process it clearly now. ‘This is my life now…’ The man who I thought I’d never see again, came back–unexpectedly--but he was back. Though, this time we were employer and employee, nothing more.

✧˚ · .

I made my way back home, I’d notified Soyoung, in which she responded, ‘Chaemin’s still playing, we probably won’t be back for a while.’

That was good to say the least, part of me wanted nothing more but to be alone right now. After my encounter with Jaehyun, flashbacks of 3 years ago replayed in my head. It felt like I was there–in that apartment complex I shared with him–telling him ‘Let’s break up.’

Seeing him everyday from now on wasn’t going to be easy, but it’s something I’ll have to deal with. I was in a daze when my phone pinged. It was an email.

To: Ms. Y/L/N

From: Johnny Suh

Subject: Work Schedule - Company Rules and Guidelines.

Hello Ms. Y/L/N,

I know you just left a while ago, but Jaehyun informed me to send you your Work Schedule and a set of Company rules and Guidelines. So I have attached two files, one for each subject. Please let me know if you have any questions or would like for your schedule to be rearranged. Thank you.

[ Y/L/N Scedule.pdf ]

[ J.Corps Rules and Guidelines.pdf ]

I skimmed through both files, my schedule was fairly decent. From 7am to 11pm, everyday. I mean I applied for secretary, I knew what I was getting into, the long hours, piles of papers to look over, countless appointments, etc.

Yeah, maybe that meant less time to see Chaemin, but he was already going to school, so he wouldn’t be that alone. At least, the pay was good too and I would even get paid on vacations and absences. Maybe Jaehyun isn’t too bad of a boss after all.

I replied to Johnny’s email after going through everything, “Everything seems fine to me. Thank you Johnny, I look forward to working with you!” And hit send.

I rested my head against the couch, feeling myself finally relax. Without realizing it I had drifted, drifted into a warm and cozy sleep.

✧˚ · .

I felt something on me, something calling me.

“-my,” It said. It shook me, “Mommy!”

I know who that something and it was now, Chaemin.

I awoke from my restful nap to my child, sitting on my lap.

“Hey, baby. You’re back from your playdate?” I asked.

“Yes, mommy! I had soooo much fun and I wanted to tell you all about it, but when I came in we saw you sleeping on the couch!”

“I’m sorry baby, mommy has had a long day.”

I tried smiling, trying to avoid being pestered with questions by Chaemin. I was in no mood to lie, I couldn’t. I don’t know if it was my half-asleep or half-woken state or my guilt that rushed over me when I had just met the one person Chaemin has been dying to see- to meet, his father.

What I didn’t expect was Chaemin to embrace me into a hug. ‘Was he trying to comfort me?’ I felt tears threatening to spill from my eyes, ‘What did I do to deserve him, he’s so precious. My Chaemin, my baby.’ We stayed like that for a while longer, until I heard quiet breaths and little snores. He’d fallen asleep, all the while embracing me, his mother.

At that moment Soyoung walked in. I had forgotten she must’ve been here too. I shushed her, signaling to her that Chaemin was asleep. She gave me an Ok.

I got up, whispering to her, “I’ll go put him in his bed, be right back.” She nodded.

I continued my way to Chaemin’s room. Opening the door and heading straight to his bed. I lifted the covers, putting him down and untying his shoes. I tucked him in–making sure he was nice and cozy–gave him a good night's kiss, and whispered to him, “Good Night.”

As I made my way to the living room, Soyoung was on the couch, two glasses of wine on the coffee table, already filled. I knew I had to tell her, tell her about my encounter with Jaehyun.

“Don’t just stand there, here have a drink,” Soyoung said in a cheerful tone, offering me a glass of wine.

I made my way to the couch, sitting down next to her and taking the glass she’d offered me. I took a sip, enjoying the sensation it brought down my throat.

“Rough day?” She asked.

I hummed.

“Didn’t get the job?”

I looked at her, “Yeah, I did… it’s just.”

“Just?”

I took another sip, hoping this wine intoxicates me to have some confidence, some courage.

“I saw him- Jaehyun I mean.”

She didn’t speak, she looked shocked, her eyes widening.

“When I walked into the supposed CEO’s office, he was there… Jaehyun is the CEO.”

“Shut up! What the fuck Y/N!”

She seemed enraged. It’s been 3 years, but she’d still gladly murder Jaehyun if she had the chance.

“I wish I was lying, wished my eyes deceived me, but it really was him. After 3 years, he appeared before me again. Though, he looked hurt, in pain.”

She let out a chuckle, “Him hurt? In pain? Are you hearing yourself Y/N? We’re talking about Jaehyun! Jaehyun, the man who cheated on you!”

“I know, but the way he would look at me, like I was still his world, like he still loved me. And the strange things he said.”

“What did he say?”

“‘I just wanted to… to see you again. ‘Do you know how hard it’s been for me since you left?’ Was what he said.”

“That ass-”

“I didn’t get it. Why now? I felt like my life was finally peaceful, like I’d never see him again, but then today happened. Then suddenly, I began reminiscing, going back to those days from 3 years ago,” I interrupted her before she could have an outburst.

Her expression softened. Soyoung was the only one who truly understood me, who stood by my side after I left him. She supported me, even accompanying me to my ultrasound appointments whenever she could. Truly one of the best, best friends anyone could ever ask for.

“Look, Y/N, I’ve always told you I’ll support you no matter what, whatever happens I’ll be here. I just hope you don’t forget what he did to you. No matter how long it’s been. It pained me seeing you like that, with no will to live.”

My face felt wet. Ah, the tears that I’d been bottling up since the morning finally streaming down my face.

Soyoung pulled me into her embrace. She rubbed my back, like I was some baby, but I didn’t move, in fact I enjoyed it. It felt warm, it felt safe. I continued sobbing, whispering, “I love you,” to Soyoung.

She whispered back, “I love you more.”

I smiled, peacefully drifting off to sleep again.

✧˚ · .

I awoke the next morning. Finding myself on the couch and Soyoung on the other side. She was still sleeping, peacefully sleeping. I got up sneaking my way back to my room. Tomorrow is the day I remembered. My first day as Jaehyun’s secretary.

I slipped into the shower, readying myself for today. Today I decided to go visit my mother with Chaemin. Crossing my fingers she’d agree to looking after Chaemin while I worked.

As I made my way back outside, Soyoung was in the kitchen, making herself some coffee.

“Good morning to you,” I said.

She looked at me yawning, “Good morning.”

Soyoung wasn’t quite a morning person, the same could be said about me too. I joined her in the kitchen–taking ingredients out–making breakfast.

“Could you go wake Chaemin up for me?” I asked her.

She didn’t need to be asked twice, scurrying off to Chaemin’s room. I began making, yet another regular breakfast. Scrambled eggs, bacon, crispy toasted bread, and a yogurt parfait (another one of Chaemin’s favorites). As I just about finished, I heard footsteps approaching. Soyoung carried a sleepy, but woken Chaemin in her arms.

“Smells, good!” she said.

“I’m just about done. What do you wanna drink, Chaemin?”

“Chocolate milk,” he mumbled.

I softly chuckled, “Alright, go sit down and I’ll bring out the food shortly.”

Soyoung left with Chaemin, seating him down at the table and walked back to the kitchen.

“I’ll help make the chocolate milk,” she said.

“Make me some too!” I said.

“Sure thing, anything else your highness,” she teased, laughing at her own statement.

I cringed. Soyoung really was something.

✧˚ · .

After we finished breakfast, Soyoung insisted on cleaning up, to which I had no choice but to agree. I took this as an opportunity to get Chaemin ready. It was already 10 a.m and we best be on our way to my mother’s.

As I got him ready Soyoung popped in. “Hey! I’m a go now,” she said.

“What? Really?”

“Yeah, besides you guys have to go see your mother.”

I’d informed them of my visit while we ate breakfast, in which Chaemin smiled so happily, he loved his grandmother.

“Alright then, I'll see you…”

“Soon, soon I promise,” she said.

“Fine by me. Bye Soyoung. Thank you for everything, literally everything,” I told her, embracing her into a warm hug. She helped me yet again yesterday. She’s like my angel sent from heaven.

“You know I’ll always be here.”

We let go of one another and she bid her goodbye to Chaemin.

“I love you Y/N, take care,” she said as she left.

“I love you too Soo.”

With Soyoung gone, I finished getting Chaemin ready, packing him any necessities in his backpack. You know, in case of emergencies. I finished and carried him, all the way to my car. I locked our home door, placed him in his carseat, and soon we were off the road to visit grandma.

✧˚ · .

My mother lived an hour away, living in the same home since I’d been born. I’m actually glad she hasn’t moved, that home holds some of my most precious memories, times when I was an innocent child, expecting life to be rainbows and sunshine.

My family was quite small, consisting of my mother, father, and older brother Taeyong. In their eyes, I was their baby. Despite our four year age gap, my brother and I got along. We were like regular siblings. My family was pretty well off too, owning and operating a restaurant in the town they live in. I truly love this family.

While on the ride there, a memory flashed in my head. The day I told them I was pregnant.

3 years ago…

I sat my mother down, my father joining soon after. Taeyong was set to arrive anytime soon. I’d call them all over to tell them about my pregnancy and about Jaehyun. My family absolutely loved Jaehyun, so how would they react to this news?

The door opened and then closed, Taeyong storming in. He noticed us as he came into the living room, taking a seat.

“What’s wrong Y/N, is everything okay?” He asked.

I felt my tears rushing out of me again for the nth time this week. I’m surprised my eyes don’t look like puffer fish by now.

Weakly I said, “I-I’m pregnant.”

Shock on their faces. Soon after my mother rose and pulled into a hug. It felt nice, warm, something I haven’t felt in a while.

“Congratulations!” She said.

“Bu-but.”

“But? But what sweetie?”

I sucked up all the strength I had left, “I broke up with Jaehyun.”

There it was. Saying his name, that phrase, triggered the tears. They fell, like a waterfall.

My mother sat back down. The happiness from earlier, wiped.

“Why? What’d he do? I thought you two always wanted a child?” she asked. She was as broken as me.

“That ass-” Taeyong finally spoke.

“Taeyong,” my father said sternly.

“What is it Taeyong? Do you know?” mother asked, looking between me and Taeyong.

He looked at me for approval, I nodded. I didn’t have much in me to explain.

“He cheated on her,” he said bluntly.

My parents turned their heads to me. My father was fuming and my mother in disbelief. Taeyong explained the situation-his encounters of that night-and I chimed in whenever I could. My father looked like he was about to explode, ready to kill. My mother walked over to me, lifting my head up. I was a sobbing mess. She embraced me yet again, letting me cry on her.

She patted me on the head, “It’s okay my darling, you did what was best for you, for your baby.”

I stayed like that for a while longer. Until I pulled away. Their eyes on me, filled with sadness at watching me break down like that.

She took my hands. They felt so warm.

“Y/N, no matter what happens from here on out we’ll support you, you can stay here until you can find a job. We’ll take care of you and the baby. Your guys' well-being is all that matters, after all.”

My father nodded in agreement. He didn’t say much, he never really did, but I knew he cared.

Taeyong got up as well, putting a hand on my shoulder. “I’ll be here too, I’ll come visit whenever I can, I’ll take care of you and the little one,” he smiled.

It was moments like these that gave me hope, gave me a will to live. ‘Your going to be one lucky baby.’

15 minutes later, me and Chaemin arrived at our destination–Grandma’s house. We got out of the car and walked to the gate. I opened it, making our way to the front door.

“Wanna knock Chaemin?”

He knocked, his little knuckles hitting the door. No answer. I told him to do it once more. So he did. Luckily this time the door opened.

“Oh! What a pleasant surprise!” my mother said happily.

“Grandma!”

I passed Chaemin to my mother, she took him into her arms where they embraced each other. She then pulls me into a hug, feeling that motherly warmth. We part and she says, “Come in, come in sweeties.”

We made our way to the living room in which me and Chaemin sat down.

“Any drinks?” she asked.

“Juice!” yelled Chaemin.

“Some water is fine, mom.”

She grabbed the beverages and then proceeded to sit down with us.

“So what brings you here darling?” she asked me.

“Ah, well the thing is I finally found a stable job,” I said.

“Really!? That’s amazing darling!”

“Yeah, but it requires me to be at work from 7 to 11, everyday,” I explained. “So I was wondering if you could watch over Chaemin while I’m gone.”

Before she said anything I informed, “Ah well you wouldn’t have to care for him completely just getting him ready for school, dropping and picking him up, and making sure he sleeps.”

She looked in deep thought. “You can even come live with me, if you want or I can drop Chaemin off,” I said.

“Y/N enough rambling, I know whenever you ramble it’s because you're nervous, but don’t be darling. I won’t say no to you, of course I'll take care of Chaemin. After all, this is your first serious job opportunity, go for it.” she said.

I was glad she supported me, but would she still feel the same if she knew I'd be working for Jaehyun?

Our visit ended up lasting longer than I'd expected, as by the time we left the sun was beginning to set. Chaemin got to see his Grandpa too, in which they spent quality time together. It warmed my heart seeing my family laughing and smiling in front of my eyes.

We bidded them a farewell, giving each other a hug and kiss goodbye. I walked to my car, Chaemin wrapped around my waist. I put him in his car seat and went to mine. As I drove away my parents were still outside. They waved at us, with a big ol-smile on their faces.

The talk with my mother went smoothly, we agreed to rotate from one week of her staying at my home and the next with Chaemin staying with them. Starting tomorrow she’d arrived just as I was to leave.

Tomorrow, less than 24 hours away. My new life from now on, with him there.

✧˚ · .

I could hear my alarm ringing. I reached out to grab my phone, 5:00 a.m read the lock screen. It was times like this that I wish I was a morning person because as much as I wanted to get ready, I stayed in bed for another 5 to 10 minutes.

When I finally felt like getting up I made my way to the bathroom, a nice shower ought to do it. I proceeded to dress myself in a white button down long sleeve shirt, a black pencil skirt that reached above my knees, and a black wool coat. Once dressed it was time for hair and make-up. I decided on straightening my hair and another natural look, natural to the point it looked as though I had nothing on.

With around 50 minutes left to spare I grabbed the black Loewe handbag my brother Taeyong gifted me a while back. I stuffed in my necessities, to survive 16 hours in that company. I quietly went into Chaemin’s room, kissing him goodbye before I left.

I looked at my phone clock again, it was time to go. I approached the front door, slipping on my black heels. As I opened the door and looked up I saw my mother approaching in her car. She sure is punctual. I walked over, helping her with her suitcases and briefly explained some things and told her to text, if not call me if anything.

“Good luck,” she said, smiling as I left to my car.

Once I was all situated, I drove off. My first day as Jaehyun’s secretary. ‘I wonder what today will have in store for me.”

I parked my car, luckily there weren’t many cars parked. I made my way to the elevators to get out of the parking lot, arriving on the first floor. Last time I was so nervous that I was unable to see the cafe on the first floor. I went in, getting myself something to eat, but also some things for Johnny and Jaehyun, I mean starting today we were all going to work with one another, so why not commemorate? I ordered a frappe for myself and two coffees, ordering Jaehyun’s just as he liked it, hoping he doesn’t take this in some way. As well as 3 sandwiches, all the same,

‘I hope Johnny doesn’t have any food allergies.’

With drinks and sandwiches in hand, I made my way to the elevators, up to the 14th floor.

Ding.

I was here. The 14th floor. I took a deep breath in, going out of the elevator. I made my way straight to Jaehyun’s office. Taking in another deep breath before knocking.

“Who is it,” said a voice, his voice.

“It’s Y/N, sir.”

“Come in.”

I gripped the door handle, opening the door. There he was. Like last time, sat in his desk chair, wearing a suit, and a pen in hand.

“Good morning. Welcome to your first day Ms. Y/N,” he said smiling, displaying his dimples.

I walked towards the seating area in his office, placing the things I bought in the cafe on the coffee table. Taking out only his things.

I walked over, standing in front of him. He gave me a confused look.

“I stopped by the cafe before coming here and thought about buying you and Johnny a gift,” I said, shyly.

“A gift?” he questioned.

“A I look forward to working with you, type of gift.” It probably sounded stupid, but it was the truth.

He chuckled. “Please take care of me then,” he said, taking the coffee and sandwich out of my hands. “Thank you Ms. Y/N. Next time I’ll treat you.”

I nodded, retrieving my things, before heading to the door. I looked back saying, “I look forward to working with you.” I was about to bow when I remembered when he told me it made him uncomfortable seeing me do such a thing to him of all people.

I saw a faint smile appear on his face. “Same here, now go do your work secretary.”

I smiled and then nodded, heading out of his office. ‘Maybe this won’t be too bad after all.’

✧˚ · .

I’m starting to regret what I said earlier about this being not too bad. 5 hours into my first day as secretary and I've booked 5 appointments for Jaehyun and gone through 2 files. It’s no easy work, not to mention my running back and forth from my office to Jaehyun’s, a whole cardio workout. But with 30 minutes left until my lunch break, I decided to go over one more file.

I was going over the third file when I heard a knock on my office door. I looked up yelling, “Come in.”

It was Johnny, his figure walking into my office space.

“It’s almost lunch time and I was wondering if you wanted to eat together? You know as a thank you for the coffee and sandwich.”

“Sure, let me just grab my bag.”

“No need Y/N, i’ll pay.”

“Oh my- Thank you Johnny.”

I still grabbed my bag and we then walked out, heading to the cafeteria.

Lunch was delicious, true to his word Johnny paid for everything. We ate and chatted. Surprisingly me and Johnny seem to have hit it off pretty easily and quickly. When we finished Johnny was kind enough to throw our trash away.

Afterwards, we headed back to the 14th floor. Where work is to be resumed. As we stepped out of the elevators we saw Jaehyun leaving his office. He noticed us, nodding when he did.

“Off somewhere?” asked Johnny.

Jaehyun stopped, “I got a call to stop by the new store we’re opening.” His eyes alternated from me to Johnny.

“Ooh, go ahead then don’t wanna keep them waiting.”

“I’ll see you two when I get back,” he said, getting ready to leave but said, “Oh Y/N can you look over a file I sent you, I need it done by today.”

“Sure thing, i’ll go look at it in a sec.”

He gave an approved hum before finally entering the elevator that arrived. He gave a short wave, in which me and Johnny both returned.

Just as Jaehyun said, I looked over the file he sent. It took around 4 hours, from reading it thoroughly, editing it, and finalizing it. After that I sent it back to him. ‘I wonder if he’s back by now… What? Seriously Y/N what are you thinking?’

The rest of the day went by normally, I even went to take my picture for my employee card. Johnny informed me about that when we were eating lunch. It was a long first day but it was finally time to leave. I looked out my window, seeing it was pitch dark outside. I went to Jaehyun’s office–he must’ve been here by now–to inform him about my leave. I knocked.

“Come in,” said his voice.

As I walked in he looked up, leaving whatever he was doing, giving me his attention.

“I’m here to tell you that it’s time for me to leave.”

He looked at his watch. “Ah, yes it is. Good job today.”

“Thank you sir.” I said.

“Drive safely,” he said. ”See you tomorrow Y/N.”

“I will, and see you tomorrow too. Bye Mr. Jeong.”

As we bidded each other a goodbye I walked out of his office. I felt his gaze burning holes in my back, I tried ignoring it as I walked out.

I headed to Johnny’s office next, bidding him a farewell as well. I left the building, heading to my car. The drive home was fairly peaceful. When I rolled into my driveway I noticed the kitchen lights were still on.

I walked into my home, my mother was still up. It was well past 11 and she was still up.

“Why are you still up, mom?”

“I wanted to wait for you, make sure you made it back safely.”

“Thank you, but next time don’t do that, you should rest as well.”

“Sure, sure, sure, but how was your first day?” she asked.

“Tiring and exhausting, but great.”

“That’s nice, now go get ready for bed. Rest yourself up darling.”

“Mmm, you too mother. Good Night,” I said, giving her a hug before we went to our respective rooms.

I got into bed, feeling so nice to finally relax. It must’ve been how tired I was since I was able to fall asleep very fast.

✧˚ · .

The first week went by quickly. I accompanied Jaehyun to several meetings and even to some of the stores the company owned. It was still quite tiring and exhausting, but sooner or later I'd be used to all this.

By the second week, I felt drained. I wanted out, but it was too late now wasn't it?

The third week came around and it was better. I felt more adapted to all this. Even working with Jaehyun seemed easier, not as awkward as before.

One month later.

It was well over a month by now and I would say I’ve grown to feel like I belong here. Today was a fairly regular day, like any other. I was working on the monthly report when my office phone rang, I picked it up wondering who it could've been.

“Can you come to my office?” said the person on the other line. I recognized that voice, it was Jaehyun.

I wonder what he could’ve wanted now? To book him another appointment? To look over files? reports? I left my office and headed to his. Unlike before, now I just walk in, no knocking.

“What can I do for you sir?”

“I know this isn’t work related but, is it okay if I treat you to some dinner after work? With Johnny too of course.”

I felt flabbergasted, no words. He must’ve felt it too because he said, “Ah, but of course you don’t have to- I just thought we’d commemorate your first month working here, after all I do owe you a dinner.”

Oh, right he did in fact owe me dinner. So there should be no reason to refuse, right?

“Sure,” I said.

My eyes might’ve deceived me but his expression seemed to brighten. “Great, then we’ll get off work earlier. 8 seems fine?”

“Yeah, sure. I’ll try and finish before we leave,” I said, making my way to the door. I headed back to my office, quickly finishing the report before it was time to leave.

It was finally time, well not 8 exactly but 10 minutes till 8. I organized my desk and then grabbed my things.

Knock.

“Are you ready to go?” said Johnny from the other side.

I walked to the door, opening it. “Yes, where is Jaehyun?”

In that moment it was like he appeared out of thin air.

“Shall we?” he asked.

We nodded, Jaehyun walking first and us following behind him. We waited for the elevator and headed down to the garage. Johnny and Jaehyun headed to Jaehyun’s car, while I went to mine.

“I’ll send over the location,” Johnny said.

“Okay, thanks.”

I put the address into my phone GPS, exiting the parking lot. I ended up arriving before them, considering how we both left at the same time. I took this as an opportunity to call my mother, informing her I'd go out to eat with my boss and a co-worker. As much as I insisted for her not to worry and go to sleep–but as stubborn as she was–she refused. Just as I hung up they arrived.

“What took you two so long?” I asked as they approached.

“I needed to stop by the convenience store,” Johnny answered.

“Ohh-” I was going to say before Jaehyun interrupted me, “Shall we?”

We then followed Jaehyun inside the restaurant. It wasn’t some luxurious restaurant, it was a normal restaurant. A BBQ place. We sat down at our table, the food beginning to roll in, and so did the drinks. Johnny grabbed the bottle, pouring some to me and Jaehyun.

“To commemorate your first month,” he said, lifting the small cup.

I giggled, lifting mine. “Thank you Johnny.”

“Any words Jae?” asked Johnny.

I looked over to Jaehyun, noticing he was at a loss for words. It was like he was trying to find the right words, the right sentences.

“As Johnny said, congrats on your first month. You’ve worked hard, I see it in your work. Good job, Y/N.”

“Thank you sir,” I said, slightly embarrassed.

“You don’t have to call me sir anymore, we’re not at work.”

“Ah, sorry. Thank you J-Jaehyun,” I said.

Thankfully Johnny interfered before things got awkward saying, “Cheers!”

We held our cups up, drinking that one shot. It’d been a while since I’ve drank anything other than wine. Ever since Chaemin, I haven’t drank or gotten drunk. I wouldn’t say I was a high-tolerance type of person, nor of low-tolerance.

The night passed, we ate, and we drank more. We conversed in conversation both about work and many other things. The last thing I remember was feeling hazy, I felt myself sway–left to right, right to left before hitting something. My eyes shut. Pitch-black.

Jaehyun’s POV

Y/N was drunk. There was no denying it. The moment she hit the table, I knew for sure now. I’ve been keeping an eye on her for the past hour since we arrived. Her cheeks started turning a pink-blushy color the more she drank. After being with her I knew she could handle her alcohol, but oftentimes would end up like this. I thought it’d be best to take her home.

“I’ll take her home,” I told Johnny.

“What about her car?” he asked.

“You drive it. Follow me to her home and leave her car parked there.”

“Alright, but do you know where she lives?”

“No, I forgot but I’m sure she’d tell us.”

I tried shaking her, trying to wake her up. She mumbled some words. Her head then propped up. She looked at me and Johnny, squinting her eyes into focus.

“Hey Y/N, wake up,” Johnny said. “Tell me where your home is so we can drive you there.”

“Huh? Oh! I live at… at a house!” she said.

“Yes, Y/N you do, now where is it,” Johnny asked.

She looked at him and then me. She called Johnny over, whispering her address into his ear.

“Alright, then let’s get you home!” he said.

He called me over, “I’ll send you her address, once you're in your car.”

“Now, Y/N can you give me your car keys?” he asked.

Y/N didn’t answer, searching her bag for her keys, until she dangled them in front of us. Johnny grabbed them and she swayed front and back this time. Before she could fall I caught her in my arms. I carried the very much asleep Y/N into the passenger seat of my car, strapping her in. I put her address into the GPS, driving her home. On the drive there Y/N kept mumbling in her sleep, the words were incoherent, until she said a name.

“Chaemin… my Chaemin.”

‘Chaemin? My? Who is this Chaemin? Did she actually move on?’ I thought. My heart broke, it ached.

Luckily the ride wasn’t too long, her home was just 15 minutes away. I got out of my car, making my way to her side. I grabbed her bag and then unstrapped her, carrying her once again and placing my suit jacket over her so she wouldn’t get cold. I walked to her front door, ringing the doorbell. ‘What if that Chaemin person is in there right now,’ I thought.

The door flung open, it was no guy, it was her mother. When she saw me, it looked like she’d just seen a ghost. Her eyes widening, her figure backing up. Her hand went to cover the body on her waist. ‘A child?’ I thought.

“Grandma?” spoke the little voice.

She finally spoke, “Ah, Chaemin sorry. Go to your room okay? I’ll be there in a bit.”

“But what about Mommy, I thought we were going to wait for her,” the little boy spoke as she placed him down.

“Mommy will be home soon, don't worry. In the meantime go play okay.”

He looked at her and then me, he looked familiar. His features looked all too familiar. Once he left and was out of sight she spoke to me.

“What are you doing here Jaehyun,” she said sternly.

“Hello Mrs. Lee, it’s been a while.”

“I don’t need small talk Jaehyun, tell me what you’re doing here.”

“Sorry, you see Y/N got a little drunk and ended up falling asleep so I,” I gestured to Y/N who was sleeping in my arms. “brought her home.”

She sighed. “Come in," she said.

She led me inside Y/N’s home. It reminded me of our old apartment, everything in there seemed like her. Her scent occuping the air. We stopped by a room, and she opened it. “Place her on her bed,” she said. I walked over to her bed, gently placing her. I wanted to tuck her in, but I was stopped. Her mother stopped me.

“Leave Jaehyun,” she said. “You brought her home, yes thank you, but please leave.”

I nodded, making my way outside her room. As I left I glanced around her home one last time, I noticed a photo frame by the front door. I looked at it, picking it up. It was of her and the little boy from earlier. They both looked so happy, his dimpled smile on full display. I felt a slight stab in my heart. I placed the picture down and made my way to the door. I opened it, leaving her home with nothing but confusion.

As I walked back to my car, I noticed Johnny leaning against it.

He must’ve noticed the confusion because he asked, “Everything okay?”

I didn’t answer, I was lost in the midst of all the questions I kept asking myself.

“Hello? Jaehyun!”

He knocked me out of my trance.

“Ah, sorry it’s just…”

“Just?”

“Johnny, Y/N has a child.”

I awoke the next morning. I felt groggy, hungover. Fuck. I must’ve drank so much. ‘But how did I get home?’

I looked around and saw it was well past 9. Shit, I was late for work. Whatever. I’ll just call in sick. I wasn’t in much of a spirit to go anyways.

I got up from my bed, making my way to the kitchen. My mother was still here.

“Go sit down on the couch, we need to have a talk.”

Was all she said, no “good morning.” I knew I was going to get an earful. As she made her way to the couch she brought out two coffee mugs and handed me one. I took a sip.

“Why was Jaehyun with you last night,” she said, getting straight to the point.

Fuck. Shit. So Jaehyun was the one who took me home.

“Mother, I can explain.”

“You better.”

“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you but Jaehyun, he- he’s my boss.”

She let out a sigh, “Why didn’t you tell me that before?”

“I was afraid you wouldn’t let me take up the job if you knew I’d be working for him.”

“I wouldn’t say no, after all it would be your choice to work with or for him, not mine.

“Sorry…” I said.

“But that should be the least of your concerns,” she said.

“What do you mean?” I asked, fearful.

“He… I think he knows about Chaemin,” she said, putting her palm to her cheek.

‘What… No. God, oh please no.’

Before I could respond, my phone rang. It was an unknown number. We looked at one another, I picked it up.

“Hello?” I said.

“Is this Y/N?” said the voice.

It was a man's voice. A voice that I knew all too well. Jaehyun.

✧˚ · .

I sped, probably violating various driving regulations.

It was Jaehyun who called me earlier, demanding we meet at a cafe, it was around 10 minutes from where I live. I knew this was about Chaemin, I knew it. I felt it.

As I pulled up no one was in the cafe. ‘Strange.’ I entered, he sat at a table looking at me as I entered. He put his coffee down. I walked over, not sitting down.

“What do you want Jaehyun,” I asked.

“Don’t worry I cleared the cafe, no one is here besides us right now. So, Y/N I want you to tell me the truth.”

“What do you mean?” I said, obviously knowing what he was talking about.

“Don’t act dumb, right now Y/N. Who is Chaemin?”

Great. He knows now, but no I can’t. I can’t get Chaemin taken away from me. He’s my life.

“He’s my child, but not yours.” White lie.

“Bullshit.”

“IT’S TRUE! How can he be yours, he’s about to be 2! I left 3 years ago, do the math Jaehyun.”

He looked at me, he was enraged, upset. “Y/N you know lying to me won’t work, i’ve known you long enough to know when you’re lying.”

Fuck. Was he truly not buying it?

He got up from his seat, coming closer to me. He stood in front of me now.

“Tell me, the truth Y/N now,” he demanded.

I guess I have no choice now, I have no other choice but to tell him. Tell him that Chaemin is his, Chaemin is ours.

I felt tears spill from my eyes as I tried saying, “Fine! Yes! Yes, Chaemin is yours.”

The room silenced, we no longer shouted at each other. My tears streamed down my face like a waterfall. In that silent moment, he pulled me into him. Our bodies finally touching each other for the first time in 3 years. As comfortable as it was, I couldn't, I hit his chest, over and over. He wouldn’t budge.

“Stop! Get away from me!” I started shouting again.

He let go, looking me in the eyes. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

I looked at him letting the events of that day replay. “I was. I really was, but you never came home that night.”

“That night?” he asked, giving a confused look.

“Don’t act stupid Jaehyun, that night you were supposed to be at “work” but were actually at a club with some goddamn woman all over you.”

“A woman?”

“Yes! Fuck, are you pretending you don’t know what I’m talking about?” I was getting mad, how can he act like he doesn’t know.

“Look Y/N that night, I really was at work. I was working as I had been the days prior, but that night Mark and Jungwoo suggested we go out for some drinks, as a means to get me to stop working. It must’ve been the stress from work, but that night I got drunk, blackout drunk. I don’t remember any woman or anything after the 30 minutes we got there. The next thing I knew I was waking up in Johnny’s bed,” he explained, looking me in the eyes as he confessed his re-encounters of that night.

What? Did I just misunderstand and assume he cheated on me? I didn’t know what to think or feel right now. My brain was all over the place, my heart too.

“Y/N,” he called my name softly. “You don’t have to believe me or forgive me, but this is what really happened that night, ask Johnny he knows–everything–just please, I beg you let me meet my child. Let me be a father, I'll support him, you don’t have to be alone anymore,” he said.

“I… uh… fine. I’ll let you see him,” I let out.

His face lightened up, “Thank you! Thank you Y/N!”

“But that doesn’t mean I forgive you or anything, I- I still need time… to think,” I said.

“That’s fine. Take your time, I'll wait Y/N, whether you love me or not it’s fine.”

‘Love. Do I still love him? Will I still be able to love him?’

I nodded, unable to respond to his statement. “Let’s go,” was all I said.

He gave me a confused look.

“To see your son. I thought you wanted to see him?”

“Ah, no, no, no I do! Let’s go,” he said, rushing out.

I softly chuckled watching him practically run to his car, he looked like a child. I got into my car, heading home hoping things go well between Chaemin and Jaehyun. Today has already been too much both physically and mentally.

✧˚ · .

We both parked in my garage and got out of our cars. We walked to my front door, but before I opened it I said, “Don’t say anything, I’ll tell everything to Chaemin.”

“Alright,” was all he said.

I opened the door yelling, “I’m home!”

I heard footsteps running, “Mommy!” Chaemin yelled. I got down on my knees hugging him and carrying him. He then noticed Jaehyun.

“Ah! he’s that mister from yesterday!” he said, pointing at Jaehyun.

Jaehyun smiled, “Hello, Chaemin.”

“It’s okay baby, you can talk to him,” I said, as Chaemin hesitated to talk to Jaehyun.

“Hi!” he said, waving his little hand at Jaehyun.

At that moment my mother walked in. She looked surprised, but she picked up on it quickly. Not saying a word to Jaehyun, just bowing. He did the same.

“Since you’re here now, I’ll get going,” she said.

“Okay mom, see you soon,” I said, bidding her goodbye.

“Bye Grandma! Thank you,” Chaemin said, giving her a kiss on the cheek.

“Be a good boy to mommy,” she said, before exiting my home.

It was now me, Jaehyun, and Chaemin. It was now time to end the lies, the white lies.

I walked to the living room, Chaemin still in my arms. I sat him down and called Jaehyun over, as he still awkwardly stood by the door.

We all sat, Chaemin in the middle. I breathed in.

“Chaemin, baby, remember daddy,” I said.

“Yes! Is he finally coming home!” he said excitedly.

My heart ached, and I know so did Jaehyun's. I could see it in the way he looked at Chaemin.

“About that, you see… Mommy lied.”

“Lie? But mommy you said lying is bad.”

I felt tears threatening to come down again. “Yes, mommy is bad isn’t she…”

“What! NO! My mommy is the best in the ENTIRE WORLD! She feeds me, buys me cool stuff, and loves me!”

I pulled him into a hug, he really has a big heart. I wonder where he got it from…

“Thank you baby, but you see the truth is… Mommy left daddy.”

“Why?” he asked.

“Because mommy thought daddy did some bad things, but daddy told mommy he didn’t and that he wanted to see Chaemin,” I explained, making it understandable for a 3 year old to understand.

“Really! Daddy wants to see me!” he said, excitedly.

“Yes, my baby. Do you want to see him too?”

“Yes! Yes! Yes!” he said, jumping up and down on the couch.

I laughed, it warmed my heart seeing how excited he was to meet his father. I gestured to Jaehyun, giving him the okay to finally speak.

“Hi, Chaemin,” he spoke.

Chaemin stopped jumping, giving him a confused look.

“Hello mister.”

“Chaemin, this is your dad,” I said.

Chaemin looked at me and then at Jaehyun. He wasted no time, jumping on Jaehyun. He embraced him in a hug, in which Jaehyun returned. Father and son reunited. A tear escaped my right eye, the sight of them warmed me.

“Daddy! Daddy! Are you really my daddy!”

“Yes, my baby. I’m sorry daddy’s late,” Jaehyun looked at him, his eyes watering.

“It’s okay! Chaemin knew one day you would come.”

“So you love daddy more than mommy now?” I chimed in, trying to lighten the mood.

They both looked at me. Chaemin let go of Jaehyun, running to me.

“No mommy! Chaemin loves BOTH!”

I laughed, “Alright, alright and we both love you.” I kissed Chaemin’s cheek.

The rest of the day up until the night was spent with all three of us in each other's company. We laughed, talked, and played. Jaehyun even stayed for dinner, after Chaemin insisted he should. All of that must’ve tired him out as Chaemin fell asleep peacefully in his fathers arms.

“Ah, sorry about that, you can just give him to me i-”

“It’s fine i’ll put him to bed, where’s his room?” Jaehyun insisted.

I guided him into Chaemin’s room, placing him on his bed. I crouched down whispering, “Good Night.” Jaehyun did the same. We both kissed the sleeping Chaemin and soon exited his room.

Now it was just us two.

“Jaehyun,” I called out.

He stopped turning to face me.

“Yes?”

“How do you want to do this… you know, seeing Chaemin.”

“Ah, why don’t we go sit down,” he said, walking over to the couch.

“I won't pressure you into anything Y/N, the decision is yours,” he said.

“How about you have him for 3 days a week, the other 4 with me. Unless you're busy, you know with the whole CEO thing.”

“No, no that’s fine, like I said I’ll respect your decision.”

“Nice, then… It's settled. I’ll drop him off tomorrow, if you want.”

He nodded and we later exchanged contact information. We’ve been working together for a month now and we have yet to share our contacts with one another.

“You're going to work tomorrow?” he asked, before leaving.

“Can I have tomorrow off too? If that’s fine with you boss.” He softly chuckled, “Okay. Then I'll send over my address so you can drop off the little one. Feel free to come at any time. I’ll be waiting for you two.”

“Okay Jaehyun, drive back safely.”

“Bye Y/N,” he bidded.

He left, walking to his car, but suddenly came to a halt. He turned around, walking back and pulling me into a hug. I was sure you could hear the beating of my heart and see how red my face was. ‘Why so suddenly?’ This wasn’t like earlier when we were at the cafe.

“Thank you,” he whispered, pulling away soon after. He didn’t even give me a chance to talk, as he began walking back to his car.

I watched as his car left my driveway, picking up my arm, giving him a small wave goodbye. He noticed, using one hand to wave back.

Today was quite the day. The most eventful it’s been since I had Chaemin. But I felt a sense of relief, like a weight had been lifted off my shoulders. There would be no more lies between any of us anymore.

✧˚ · .

I headed off to bed, staring at my ceiling. I replayed the events in the cafe over and over. I still couldn’t believe it, Jaehyun never cheated on me. No matter how many times I lied to myself, as a means to forget him I couldn’t. Deep down, buried somewhere deep was my love for you. I still loved Jaehyun. I always did, but I always tried to desperately deny the reality. ‘Maybe giving him a second chance isn’t so bad,’ I thought and slowly drifted off to sleep.

✧˚ · .

I got Chaemin ready, ready to spend the next 3 days with his father. He has been beyond excited ever since I told him. Yeah, I'll miss him but I was also happy for him. This was his dream. I grabbed enough clothes and whatever other necessities he needed so he can spend the next 3 days comfortably. Then we were soon off to Jaehyun’s.

When I pulled up I was lost beyond words. Jaehyun lived in a big home, not some grand mansion, but a comfortable and modern looking home fit for a family. Then I remembered he’s practically the only person living in the house. It was like he was looking out the window, since he woke up because he was out standing in front of his door as we pulled up. I parked and exited my car, he came up to me.

“Can you help me take him out?” I asked, as I grabbed his luggage. He walked over to Chaemin, taking him out of his carseat. I heard a “Daddy!” as Jaehyun took Chaemin into his arms.

“He’s been very excited ever since I told him,” I told Jaehyun.

“Have you?” he asked Chaemin.

“Yes! I get to stay with daddy for the first time ever!” Jaehyun smiled, displaying his dimples.

“Here are his things, should be enough to last 3 days,” I told Jaehyun, handing him the luggage.

“Ah, do you want to come in?” he asked, hesitating a bit.

“Uhm, sure if you don’t mind,” I said.

We all then made our way inside his home. Upon inspection it was minimalistic, fit for Jaehyun who lived by himself. It was very clean and smelled like him. It brought me back to when we used to live in that apartment complex together.

“Make yourself at home,” he said, placing Chaemin down before walking away.

I awkwardly sat down at his couch, while Chaemin ran around, exploring the place. “Woah! What is that daddy!” Chaemin asked.

I turned around, seeing Jaehyun coming back with a bouquet of my favorite flowers. My heart fluttered. He still remembered. He shyly stood in front of me saying, “I bought these for you, your favorites. A gift from me. I guess you can call it a trying to win you back type of gift.” I laughed, “Thank you Jae.”

His nickname, the one he loved me saying so much, came out after all these years. I can see it in his face how happy he was to hear it again.

“Jaehyun,” I said.

“Yes.”

“Just for the record, I want to let you know that I want to start over with you. Whatever happened, let’s put it behind us. I want to make this work again and I’m not just saying this for Chaemin's sake. I truly wish to love you again.”

He sat down, taking my hands into his. He stared at my eyes, not taking them off. “I told you Y/N i’ll wait no matter how long it takes, no matter how many dates, gifts, or wooing I have to do to get you back, I’ll be patient,” he said.

I smiled for the first time since I’ve seen him. Mouthing a “Thank you” to him.

✧˚ · .

I wasn’t there for much longer, I still had some business to attend to. Meeting Soyoung. It only felt right telling her everything that had been going on, no matter how she’d take it.

I drove to my favorite sushi restaurant where I told her to meet me at. When I arrived she was there waiting for me. She saw me, waving at me. I walked over sitting next to her.

“You got here quickly,” she said, as I took off my cardigan.

“I wasn’t far,” I said.

“Where were you?” she asked.

It was time.

“Soyoung,” I said.

“Yeah Y/N? What’s wrong?

“I- The truth is Jaehyun knows, he knows about Chaemin.”

She didn’t say anything. I looked over to see her, her eyes had flames in them. She was enraged. If we weren’t at a restaurant she sure would’ve let out every profanity possible.

“I didn’t expect him nor wanted him to find out, but that night I got really drunk and he drove me home where to his surprise saw some little boy in my home,” I explained. “Then the next day he called me to talk, I ended up confessing everything to him, the truth.”

“So? What’d he say?” she said, looking to have calmed down a bit more.

“He was happy, surprised, shocked, and confused. When I told him why I never told him I was pregnant, he confessed everything about that night.”

“WHAT! Shut up.” “Yeah, I look like a real fool now.”

“A fool? Why do you say that?”

I clenched my fist saying, “Because he never cheated on me. He said that night Mark and Jungwoo invited him for drinks, but he got black out drunk, he doesn’t even recall anything from after he passed out.”

“So that means Taeyong…”

“Yes, Taeyong, I, and everyone we all misunderstood.”

I felt her hand rubbing my back. “So now what? You forgave him?”

“No, I'm giving him a second chance. I told him I wanted to start over, but not because of Chaemin. I want to love him again,” I confessed to Soyoung, wary of how she’ll respond.

She sighed, “If that’s what you truly want then I’ll still support you. I’m glad you didn’t forgive him so easily, but Y/N… please, please, please don’t let him hurt you again.”

I gave her a soft smile, “I know. Thank you Soo, thank you. I love you so much.” I hugged her, she hugged me, and we hugged each other in that sushi restaurant.

Once the talk was over, we finally ordered our food. We ate while gossiping, laughing, and teasing. One down, three more to go.

✧˚ · .

I still needed to talk to my family about the whole Jaehyun situation, but I also needed to return to work. I was glad Soyoung understood and supported me, but also didn’t cause a scene at the restaurant.

I arrived to work on time, it felt great to be back. As I got out the elevator my phone pinged. A message.

Jaehyun: I won’t be there today

Jaehyun: I’m going to spend some father-son time with the little one

Jaehyun: Is it fine if I take him to the aquarium?

I smiled, how sweet of him.

Me: Yeah just be careful he can get overly excited sometimes.

Me: Have fun :)

Jaehyun: I’ll send you pictures!

Me: How kind of you, haha

Me: Also is it fine if I get off work early?

Jaehyun: Sure, what time?

Me: 5, seem okay?

Jaehyun: Fine by me

Me: Thanks jae. Tell my baby to have fun

Jaehyun: Sure thing now get to work Ms. Lee

Ha, he was the one who messaged me first. I placed my phone down, getting to my work. 10 hours to do work, here I come.

Lunchtime was approaching and a knock was heard from my door. It must’ve been Johnny, he was the only one here after all.

“Yes?” I said.

He opened the door, giving a soft expression. “Your back,” he said.

“I am, missed me?”

“Oh yes, I was left all alone for two days! You and Jaehyun really betrayed me,” he said dramatically.

“We had our reasons.”

“Lunch?” he asked.

I nodded, getting up from my desk chair. We were off to the Cafeteria. I got a sense of deja vu, him paying for our lunches and us talking casually with one another.

“So Chaemin…” he said.

“You know too,” I asked.

“Yeah, that night he told me you had a child and last night I went over to his home and he was there,” Johnny said.

“You went over?”

“Yeah, just to check up on Jaehyun since he hadn’t been coming.”

“I see… well I’m guessing Jaehyun told you everything.”

“Yes, I was shocked at first. He even told me about that night,” he said as he looked me straight in the eyes. “Look Y/N that night Jaehyun was drunk, I had to drag him out of there for fuck’s sake. It was torture. So don’t worry about it too much, Jaehyun would’ve never done such a thing. He has and will always love you. You're the only woman for that best friend of mine.”

I never knew Johnny would give me such a pep talk. It was comforting though.

“I know, which is why I’ll give him a second chance. A new beginning. Don’t tell Jaehyun, but I too still love him no matter how much I tried hating him I couldn't. That love we built, I couldn’t throw it away to be honest,” I confessed. That was something only I knew, I never told anyone, not even Soyoung.

Johnny softly chuckled, “Well then, Good luck to both of you”

“Thanks, I'll need it.” I said before continuing eating.

We ate and chatted some more. Then finally heading off to finish our work. As the clock approached 5, I gathered all my things, ready to clock out. Ready for the final talk.

✧˚ · .

The drive wasn’t long, my work was actually closer to their home. I’d messaged the family group chat, warning them that I wanted to meet them all at around 5:30-ish. When I pulled up into the driveway, Taeyong’s car was already there and so was my parents' car.

I knocked on the door, being greeted by Taeyong.

“Long time no see sis,” he said, embracing me into a hug.

“I could say the same about you, you’re always busy and never around.”

“What can I say, being a full time choreographer, has me going places,” he says, shrugging.

I roll my eyes, making my way to the living room.

“Mom?” I yelled.

“In the kitchen,” she yelled back. I made my way there.

“Cooking?” I asked.

“Yeah, thought we’d have dinner together.”

“Sounds good, can’t wait.”

“Y/N!” yelled taeyong. I made my way to where he was sitting on the couch. “What can I do for you,” I said, sitting down next to him.

“How’s the little champ?”

“Chaemin’s fine, he can’t stop talking about missing you.”

“Really!” Taeyong’s face lightened up.

“No, I doubt he remembers his uncle,” I said laughing.

“Ha, ha, ha very funny,” he said sarcastically.

“You should stop by more often.”

“I’ll try, but I have to go to Japan next week.”

We talked more and more. Siblings catching up with one another.

“Dinner's ready,” yelled mother.

We got up, walking to the table.

“Where’s dad?” I asked.

“In the back, can you go get him Taeyong?” asked mother. With Taeyong gone, it was just us two. “I’m guessing you’re here to talk to us about Jaehyun?”

Mothers’ intuition.

“Yeah, but once we’re done eating.”

Dad and Taeyong came back. We all sat down, enjoying the delicious food mother cooked for us. We chatted, laughed, and joked. It brought me back to the times when I was a child, when it was just us.

When we finished, I helped mother clean up. I braced myself for what was to come. How would they react? Would they understand?

“We’re back,” my mother announced, when we made our way to the living room where they both were.

“I have something I want to tell you all,” I said, sitting down.

“I’m getting a sense of deja vu,” Taeyong said.

I softly chuckled. “Well, where do I even start… First off, Jaehyun knows about Chaemin.”

Taeyong’s eyes widened, “WHAT! How?”

“Long story short, I got a job, but to my surprise he was the CEO of that company. I worked for him for about a month, until he found out. That night we went out for drinks with a co-worker and I had too many to drink. He took me home, where he saw mom and Chaemin. The next day he called me to go meet him, that was when I confessed everything. We also talked about that night. So then I took him to meet Chaemin, Chaemin was beyond ecstatic to have finally met his father. Then me and Jaehyun agreed on having Chaemin spend 3 days at Jaehyun's, which is why he isn’t here today.”

“What did he say about that night?” Taeyong asked.

“Well for starters you misunderstood. He was black-out drunk. He didn’t even recall anything after he arrived. The guy who picked him up that night even told me, confirming things.”

“So what now? You’re forgiving him,” Taeyong said, questioning again.

“Something like that, I'm giving him a second chance.”

Mother finally said something, sighing “If that’s what you want, just don’t let him hurt you again.”

“That’s what Soyoung told me too.”

I looked over to my father, trying to read the emotions on his face. “As much as I still want him to rot in hell for putting you through all that pain, I know you wouldn’t like that. Like your mother said Y/N don’t get hurt a second time, you’re our one and only daughter–our baby–who we want nothing more than to live a happy healthy life.”

I don’t know when the tears started coming out, but they were. They weren’t sad tears, but happy ones. I was happy at how much they cared about me, wanting nothing more but for me to be happy and loved.

✧˚ · .

I left my parents’ home along with Taeyong. He said he needed to go so he could pack for his Japan trip next week. Before I got into my car he called me.

“Y/N, about earlier… I’m sorry that night I should’ve verified it myself, gone up to him-” he said, before I cut him off. “It’s fine, we can’t regret it now, it’s too late. And also don’t blame yourself, okay!”

He smiled saying, “Drive back safely little sis, I love you.”

“I love you too,” I said, waving goodbye with a smile plastered on my face.

I drove off to Jaehyun’s. It was time to pick up Chaemin.

I pulled into his driveway, parking and walking to his front door. I couldn’t wait to hear Chaemin talking about his day at the aquarium.

I rang his doorbell. The door swings open, Jaehyun standing in front of me.

“Hey!?” He looked surprised to see me.

“Hey to you as well,” I said. “Where’s the little one?” I ask, making my way inside.

“He’s playing up in his room.”

“His room?!”

“Yeah, I arranged one for him before he came.”

“Thank you Jae,” I said smiling. He really was a good father already.

We walked to Chaemin’s room upstairs, and he opened the door for me.

“Look who’s here Chaemin,” Jaehyun said. Chaemin turned around seeing me. “Mommy!” he yells running to me.

I got down to his level, bringing him into my arms. “How was your time with dad?”

“FUN! I saw sharks, penguins, and a bunch of fishes. Daddy even bought me a whale stuffie,” he said, going over to get his whale plushie. He handed it over to me.

“You sure had fun.” I smiled, happy that he enjoyed his date with his father.

We ended up playing with Chaemin before it was time to leave. “It’s time to go baby, it’s getting dark.” He looked saddened, he didn’t want to leave yet.

“It’s okay you’ll see daddy soon,” I said, trying to cheer him up. He understood, letting me take him. Soon all three of us made our way out the door. I put Chaemin in his car seat, strapping him in. Jaehyun watched. “See you soon little man,” he said, patting Chaemin’s head.

“Bye daddy! I had fun!” Chaemin said brightly. Giving Jaehyun a dimpled smile. Jaehyun shut his door, running along to the driver’s side, opening the door for me. “How gentlemen-like of you,” I said.

He gave a slight smile. As I was going in, he grabbed my wrist making me turn around. “Something wrong?”

“Can I take you out tomorrow?” he asked, his ears turning red. Cute. 

“You mean like on a date? Just the two of us?” I questioned.

“Yes, if you don’t mind…”

I smiled widely, “I’d love to.”

He smiled, “I’ll come pick you up tomorrow then at 12. I’ll even ask Johnny to take care of the little one.”

“Sounds good, see you tomorrow. Night Jae.”

“Sleep well Y/N and drive back safely,” he said.

I slipped into the vehicle and he closed the door for me. He waved goodbye as I backed away, leaving. Another eventful, but good day. We returned back home and got ready for bed. As I was about to slip under my covers my phone pinged.

Jaehyun: [ 10+ images ]

Jaehyun: I still owed you your pictures

Jaehyun: Good night Y/N

I opened them, seeing them all. Pictures of Chaemin looking so happy and some he took with his dad. I saved them all.

Me: Good night Jae

✧˚ · .

Perhaps I was too excited that I woke up at the crack of dawn. I still couldn’t believe it, my first–but not so first–date with Jaehyun. He hadn’t informed me of where he’d take me, but nevertheless I was still looking forward to it.

I got ready, slipping into a sundress and some ballet flats. It felt so exciting getting ready for a date, I felt like a teenager again. As I grabbed my bag, the doorbell rang. I ran towards the door, opening it.

A bouquet of beautiful iris flowers shoved right in front of me. Behind them, Jaehyun.

“Is my lady ready?” he asked, handing me the flowers.

“She is.”

“You sure are a hopeless romantic,” a voice said. I was too distracted to notice Johnny’s figure beside him.

“Oh! Johnny.”

“Hi, Y/N your babysitter is here,” he said, raising one hand. I giggled, telling them to come in. “Chaemin is in his room, it’s the door to the left.” They walked to see the little one, while I put the flowers in a vase. My second bouquet of flowers from him. This date was already off to a good start.

All 3 boys came out, Chaemin in Jaehyun’s arms. “Mommy and Daddy are going to be gone for a while so be a good boy to uncle Johnny, okay?” I told Chaemin.

“Yes mommy,” he said as Jaehyun passed him to Johnny. Then me and Jaehyun made our way to the front door, ready to leave.

“Call me if anything Johnny,” I told him.

“Will do ma’am.”

Jaehyun opened the door, guiding me outside. He then went over to the passenger seat of his car, opening the door. “Thank you,” I say going in. He made his way to the drivers side, joining me inside. Johnny and Chaemin waved us off and off we went to our date.

The car ride was silent, but there was no awkwardness. In all honesty I was nervous that I couldn’t think of what to say.

It was then when he broke the silence, “We’re here.”

I looked to see where we were. We were outside an art gallery, To Dream Arts.

I turned to look at him, happiness visible on my face. “So you do like it?” he asked.

“Of course! This is one I've always wanted to visit,” I said. “You remembered,” I say almost in a whisper.

I loved art galleries and so did Jaehyun. I remember we visited some when we dated, but my dream was to visit this specific one. I could never go though, because you had to make reservations for this place, and unfortunately it was always booked. I’m beyond happy he took me here today.

As we exited the car, I stood beside him. I fought with the urge to hold his hand. When we entered it was like we were in Europe. The inside was just so beautiful, so majestic. We went everywhere, exploring everywhere. The paintings, sculptures, artifacts. I was so excited, I failed to notice when Jaehyun grabbed my hand. Our fingers intertwined with one another. I looked over to him, not saying a word, but seeing the hint of red on his ears. We continued like that, until there was no more to look at.

“That was fun!” I say, happily as we made our way to his car.

“Glad you enjoyed it. How about we get something to eat?” he asks.

“Yes! I’m starving.”

He chuckled, leading me to the passenger seat. Soon driving off, I’d expected some fancy food at some fancy restaurant, but no. We instead arriving at a local diner. I was actually relieved, this type of food is better than some small fancy portion of overpriced food.

We made our way inside, settling in the booth located at the end. We sat facing each other. The waiter came by taking our orders. The food arrived in no time and we dug in. They say food tastes better when you’re eating with others, it must be true because the food tasted better as I ate with him.

Jaehyun paid and we soon left once we finished eating. This truly was the best day. The best date I've had in a while.

As we drove back he asked, “Did you enjoy today?”

“I did, very much. Thank you,” I said, glancing over at him.

He glanced at me as well, smiling. “I’m glad,” he said, turning his head back to the road.

That night as he drove, I noticed the dark night sky, the stars that shone above, and the wind that blew. It was too perfect, today was a day to remember.

✧˚ · .

The past 4 months have been the best ever. Ever since our first date, Jae and I have gone on many more, going to a different place each time. He’s even gotten me more gifts and no matter how much I insist he shouldn’t, he still does. Though as time passed, Chaemin’s birthday approached. In fact, it was tomorrow. I was saddened, my little boy is turning 4. Time sure flies. I informed Jaehyun, my family, and Soyoung to come over tomorrow so we can throw him a small party. Unfortunately, Soyoung was unable to make it, as she’s off on a business trip and so is Taeyong. Meaning it’d just be Jaehyun and my parents. It was still going to be nice, though I'll make sure of it.

It was around 8 in the morning and I finished making Chaemin his annual birthday breakfast. I headed off to his room, tray in hand. I flicked his lights on. “Happy birthday to you,” I sang. He looked up, his eyes adjusting to the light.

I go over placing the tray down. I pulled him into a hug saying, “Happy birthday my sweet boy.”

“Omg! It’s my birthday!” he exclaimed, excitedly.

“It sure is. Here I made you your special breakfast,” I said, handing him the tray.

He began eating, not missing a single crumb. I let him eat as I went to finish setting up the decorations. As I was about to hang the banner, the doorbell rang. I walked over to open it, seeing Jaehyun. He sure was here early.

“What a pleasant surprise, Mr. Jeong,” I teased.

“Where’s the birthday boy?” he asked.

“In his room.”

He then hurried off quickly, wanting nothing more than to get there quickly. As he left, I went back to my decorating. “Jae!” I called.

His footsteps approaching, “Yeah?”

“Can you help me with the banner?” I asked.

“Sure thing,” he said, putting it up ease. “There we go.”

“Thank you.”

He gave me a smile, returning back to Chaemin. I finished with the rest of the decorations and went to see them. As I went in, Jaehyun had finished dressing Chaemin up.

“Thank you for that,” I told him.

“Thought I’d help you out since you were, you know,” he said.

“Baby, come with mommy. Mommy has a surprise!” I told Chaemin, taking him into my arms. “Okay, close your eyes.” Chaemin closed his eyes shut. “Open,” I say.

“WOW!” he said. I placed him down, he began running around taking in everything. I watched fondly as the now 4-year old ran throughout our home.

“Stand there, Chaemin,” I asked him, as he stood below the birthday banner Jaehyun hung up earlier.

I snapped a picture and at that moment the doorbell rang again. Must be my parents. Before I could go open it, Jaehyun had already gone in my stead.

“Oh Jaehyun, what a surprise,” I heard my mother say.

“Hello Mrs. Lee and Mr. Lee,” Jaehyun said.

They came inside, meeting me and Chaemin near the table. “Grandma! Grandpa!” he yelled, running to his grandparents.

“Happy birthday Chaemin!” said my mother and then my father.

I then went over to greet them, hugging them both. I could sense a feel of awkwardness in the air., hoping it'll clear up soon.

Luckily it did. It took a while, but my dad and Jaehyun seemed to be conversing well with one another. My mother joined me in the kitchen as we both got the food ready.

“They’re getting along,” she said.

“Thankfully,” I say. “I know it must be hard for all of you, but I know you’ll come around.”

We finished, calling everyone to the table. We ate with each other's presence. We talked and laughed. It felt normal. Like we were one big ol-family.

After we ate I brought out the cake, candles lit. “Happy birthday to you,” I sang as I walked over to place the cake in front of Chaemin. We sang him happy birthday. “Make a wish,” I say. He closed his eyes, making his wish. I hope it comes true. We then cut the cake, each eating a slice. Afterwards, me and my mother cleaned up while Jaehyun and my father played with Chaemin. Not long after Jaehyun came in with Chaemin in his arms.

“Birthday boy is asleep,” he said.

I make my way to him. Caressing Chaemin’s hair. “Good night my baby,” I say.

Jaehyun then walked over to Chaemin’s room placing him in his bed. “Well then I guess it’s time for us to leave, right honey?” my mother said. My father nodding at her statement.

I walked over with them to the front door. “Thank you for coming, it sure made Chaemin happy,” I told them.

“Anything for the little one,” my mother replied. “Take care darling and you too Jaehyun.”

I failed to notice as Jaehyun stood behind me. “Thank you Mrs. Lee, yourself as well. Nice talking with you too Mr. Lee,” he said.

“Goodbye you two,” my mother said, with my father beind her, waving goodbye.

We watched as they left inside their car, pulling out from my driveway. Once they were out of sight, I closed the door. I turned around, Jaehyun still behind me. He got closer looking at me deeply, only centimeters away from me.

“Y/N, can I?” he asked, placing his right hand on my cheek.

I nodded.  I wanted him.

He leaned in, his lips on mine once again. Ah. I really missed this. We melted into each other's touch. Neither of us pulling away. Enjoying this moment, just the two of us.

✧˚ · .

After the kiss, me and Jaehyun grew closer. Often sneaking a couple more behind closed doors. It never escalated to anything more though. Jaehyun respected me and my boundaries. 

On another note, today is another of many dates I'll be going on. Jaehyun called me up last night telling me he’d take me out again today. I got ready putting on a white sundress, the summer heat was beginning to arrive. As I went to put on my shoes my phones rang.

Jae 🤍, read the caller ID

“Hello?” I said.

“Are you ready yet?” he asked.

“Yeah, putting on my shoes. Where are you?”

“Outside your house.”

I opened the door, seeing his car parked in my driveway. I hung up, walking to his car. He got out, embracing me into a hug. Good thing Chaemin stayed over at his grandparents.

“Let’s go,” he asked. I smile, nodding. As always he opened the passenger door for me.

Our dates were always unpredictable, I never knew where we’d go to next. This time though, we must’ve driven for an hour now, before finally arriving. We were at a park, a park all too familiar. This was the same park where we had our first ever date. Jaehyun has stellar memory; always remembering such things years later.

“Ja-” I was about to say his name before he cut me off.

“You remember? This is where I took you during our first ever date,” he said.

“Yeah, it sure is.”

“Shall we?” he asked.

“And what exactly are we going to do,” I say, curiously.

“A picnic,” he answered.

We then got out of the car and he went to take out a basket, we really were having a picnic. He grabbed my hand as we walked, picking a spot under a tree. I admired the park as Jaehyun set the mat down. This park was so breathtaking. The grass was green and wellkept, big trees that moved along as the wind blew, and a crystal clear pond.

“Here, have a seat,” he said, patting the spot next to his. I sat down, looking at him as he took the food and wine out of the basket.

“Wine so early?” I say.

He chuckled, “Yeah, I suppose so.” We ate the food he’d prepared and drank wine, talking about everything and anything. I couldn’t be any happier.

“Y/N,” Jaehyun said softly. I looked at him, his expression soft, calm, delicate. “Yes?” I replied.

“Thank you,” he says.

“For what?” I say, confused.

“Everything. For coming back, for giving me a second chance, for giving birth and raising my child, the list goes on,” he says, never taking his eyes off mine. “Not to mention these past months have been the best my life has ever been since 3 years ago and to that I thank you as well.”

He then took my hands in his, “Y/N I love you, I always have. You’re the only person in this world I want. I truly believe you’re my soulmate, the person I'm meant to be by until I’m gray and old. There is no one other than you Y/N, no matter how long it’s been I still want you.”

“I want you too jae,” I say, with watery eyes. “I love you so much Jaehyun no matter how long it’s been, no matter how hard I tried hating you. I love you, all of you.”

His eyes begin to water as well. “Y/N, please be mine again, my girlfriend, my wife.”

My wife. I nod frantically as my tears spill. I jumped on him, embracing him into a hug. I incoherently repeat “I love you” to him. I pulled away, attaching my lips to his. He returned the kiss back, kissing me deeply. This kiss was different, it was filled with love, want, need.

I was the first to pull away, looking into his chocolate-like eyes. “You’re beautiful,” he says. I felt my face heat up at his sudden comment.

“I love you Y/N, now and evermore,” he says.

“I love you too, more than words can ever describe,” I say, kissing him once more.

Day after day, I'll spend my time loving him, Jaehyun. I’ll build a new future with him, with one another by each other’s side. Myself, Jaehyun, and Chaemin.

Epilogue

2 1/2 years later

“Honey!” I called out.

“Yeah, what’s wrong,” he says, rushing inside our shared bedroom.

“Can you bring me some fruit,” I say with pleading eyes.

He sighs, “Cravings?”

“Yeah.”

“Alright, I’ll be back,” he says, placing a hand over my stomach.

I’m currently 7 months pregnant with a baby girl. I still remember the day I told Jaehyun the news, he wouldn’t stop smiling for the entire day. The same could be said for Chaemin, he’d been wanting a sibling for the longest time and at last it finally arrived.

The past years have gone by in a flash, I still couldn’t believe me and Jaehyun got married just around 2 years ago. It really feels like it was just yesterday when I was walking down the aisle, in my fathers hands, off to be wedded to the love of my life.

“Mom!” Chaemin yells, as he enters the room.

I can’t believe my little boy is now 6 years old. “Yes?” I ask.

“Where’s dad?”

“He should be in the kitchen, why?”

“Thank you,” he says, running off. He didn’t even answer my ‘why?’ how sad.

Minutes fly by and still no fruit. I debated whether to go down there and find out what was taking so long, but before I could Jaehyun entered, fruits in hand. My eyes lightened up, drool practically coming out of the corner of my mouth. I waste no time eating it as he hands it to me.

“Easy there now, you’ll choke my love,” he says. Since he found out I was pregnant, Jaehyun has became very protective worring over the littlest things.

“It’s fine,” I say, eating more.

“You’ve grown a lot,” he says, placing a hand on my belly.

“You don’t like it?” I say worriedly.

“What? No, no, no why wouldn’t I?” he asks.

“I don't know.”

“Y/N this honestly turns me on, seeing you carry my child in front of my eyes makes me so happy and horny,” he says, mumbling the last word.

I slap his chest, “Don’t say things like that.” I’m sure by now my face was red as a tomato.

“But love you like it when I say things like that, it turns you on, doesn’t it?”

“Jaehyun!”

He laughs, “I’m sorry. I love you,” he says, kissing my temple. I pout, continuing eating my fruit.

“I can’t wait to fuck you again,” he says, eyeing my chest.

“This again,” I say.

“Sorry, I'll stop now only if you give me a kiss.”

I roll my eyes, placing the plate to my side. I leaned in, kissing him in which he returned, deepening the kiss.

“My everything is all yours.”

© jhdyuiee

2024.01.07

final a.n: it’s finally done! my real (?) fic, this started towrds the end of november all the way til now. i stayed up countless nights writing & editing, overall satified with the end result. i hope to all my readers that you enjoy it & if its too long then i apologize i guess i got a little carried away (T-T). though some big news is i’m working on another fanfic as we speak, hint: doyoung x reader x jaehyun & will definitely have smut 🤫… if you have any concerns, feedback or members you’d like me to write about pls let me know. i love u all - jiji 🤍

[cameheretorepent]

Karma hit harder than a muhh

Hello ol' kindred spirit, It’s been quite some time. I've wanted to reach out at times and reply more but felt unsure if it was the right thing to do. On a personal note, things have been a bit rough on my end, but I guess that’s just the way of the world these days, isn’t it?

I wanted to take a moment to express my heartfelt apologies for how things played out between us. I genuinely miss the friendship we shared, especially my bond with N. She became an incredibly close girl friend, someone I deeply valued during a time when I felt I had no one else. Her sisterhood meant a lot to me. And the Court gaming sessions were the highlight of many days. I really miss the excitement of our friend group as it was something new and special for me. I think I've expressed all this to you before.

As much as I'd love to reconnect, I believe it might not be the wisest choice at the moment. I came here to repent. Looking back, I realize my actions were deeply wrong. Going behind N’s back and lying to everyone was a mistake I deeply regret. It caused a rift in our connections, and for that, I’m truly sorry.

My recent ending of a painful relationship triggered the regrets I've had to the forefront. I found out that he was engaging with other girls behind my back, under the guise of 'friendship', which has completely and utterly shattered me. However, it was a huge culmination of a series of red flags – his interactions with other women, his online onlyfrenz/waifu habits, and all the untruths which I can't even begin to fathom how much omitted information there was. I feel angry with myself for ignoring my intuition and turning a blind eye because I was in love and feared being abandoned. The pain and loneliness is crushing and unbearable on top of leaving me with a heavy heart and no one to confide in.

I hope this doesn’t come across as a pity party; it’s just the current reality I’m navigating through. Writing this amidst my tears is oddly therapeutic, allowing me a momentary sense of relief. The universe said sike tho, cause I'm sobbing again. lol curses T_T

Your message response, even just reading this, means a lot. I appreciate your kindness, understanding, and confidentiality. I hope life is treating you well, despite the challenges it throws our way. I am sorry if me sharing is disturbing anything. I am sorry if I am intruding. I just...am feeling broken and lost and deeply exposed rn on top of that. Yeeeek I don't even know if sharing all this was the right thing to do, but i just want to say THANK YOU and I'M SORRY I AM CONFLICTED AF ABOUT SO MUCH RN, HEARTBREAK IS A MOFO xD -AND SCENE! *exits stage left* *cries into pillow*

[ithebookhoarder]

Reunited (Obi-wan Kenobi x Ex-Jedi Reader)

Summary: What if, like Ahsoka, you were forced to leave the Jedi Order? And Obi-wan comes to find you again after Order 66?

A/N: Thanks to the anon who requested this as I was already working on something similar given the pain the new Kenobi series has caused me. I actually cannot with life, right now. So I apologise in advance for the possible avalanche of Kenobi content coming y’alls way. I am still working on all the other requests I have though! I promise ❤️😅

Masterlist:

----

I feel he’d have been conflicted about whether or not to leave with you, after you chose to make your own way in the world without the order. After all, we know how much he cared for Satine, and he didn’t leave the order for her (even if he said he would have, had she asked) but you couldn’t ask him. 

You can’t blame him for choosing to stay, given how much the Jedi order means to him and the promises he made to Qui-Gon, regarding Anakin who is like a brother and son to him. 

He couldn’t abandon him or his duty to defend people with the republic - it’s who he is, and he wouldn’t be the man you’d fallen in love with if he did. 

That doesn’t mean it wouldn’t hurt though, that you wouldn’t have felt pain and rejection to leave, knowing he won’t come with you. 

But you learn to make peace with it. 

You’d start your life over and for a while, no matter where you end up, you’d find a new way of existing without the Jedi order and without Obi-wan

However, no matter where you ended up, there would be no way you didn’t hear what had happened to the Jedi following Order 66. News like that spreads fast, even to the very edges of the outer rim. 

You’d also feel it, the great unbalance in the force - the pain and suffering being inflicted as they are all but erased. 

As soon as you hear the news, you’d have been distraught. You wonder what has happened to your friends, your family… after all, you knew connections and attachments were forbidden but it had been impossible not to form them with the group of people you spent every waking minute beside. It doesn’t make any sense and you feel anger and guilt at not being there to help them or protect them.

You also struggle to understand what had happened and how no one had seen it coming. It would leave you questioning everything you knew or remembered about your time there as you try to make it make sense. 

However, it is only when Obi-wan one days appears on your doorstep that you are able to understand what truly happened. 

You want so badly to be angry at him, to scream and shout and throw things, but the broken man that stands before you wouldn’t be able to handle that. 

There are tears swimming in his eyes that he won’t let fall because he knows once he lets them he won’t be able to stop the flow.

You’re standing there and he’s wanted nothing more than this moment but he can’t move. He’s afraid that if he tries to reach out to you, to touch you, you’ll disappear like everyone else in his life.

“Obi…”

He lifts his head, a sad ghost of a smile tugging at his lips. “Hello, Y/N.”

You can’t help it. Both of you would break down in each other’s arms, utterly consumed by too many emotions to even try and begin to process them. 

Eventually, you’d compose yourselves long enough to invite him into your home. 

Busying yourself with making tea and tidying up the place you’ve made your own is a good distraction as you try to fully comprehend the fact that the man you thought you’d never see again is sitting across the room from you. In a way, it feels like old times, even down to the fact you have his favourite blend of tea (a fact he doesn’t mention aloud, but you see his eyes brighten in recognition of the smell as he takes his first sip)

It also makes it easier for him to begin trying to tell you the tale of everything that had happened since you’d left the Order; the words flow easier without your eyes on him, even if you are still giving him your undivided attention, listening closely as you continue stirring your tea over and over and over.

As the story nears its tragic conclusion, you can no longer stand there. You find yourself drawing closer until you are sat beside him, hands holding his as the tears pour from his eyes. 

“I… I killed him… I left him there, writhing in agony… and it was all my fault.”

“No. No, Obi. It wasn’t.”

“I should have seen it coming.” 

“How could you? Not even Master Yoda himself could have foreseen it. Chancellor Palpatine… he tricked us all, and he manipulated Anakin - turned him against us.”

“But by using doubts I did nothing to prevent. Nothing to soothe! That was my job - that was the promise I made and I failed.” 

The tea is soon forgotten, replaced by whatever supply of alcohol you have stashed away (yet another sign of how much the world has turned upside down. After all, Obi never liked to drink if he could help it, and even then it was normally as part of a mission or social event that he’d agree to partake… to see him consuming the bottle in his hand like it was water is a peculiar sight) However, given what he has seen and endured, it isn’t hard to understand. 

“So, Luke is on Tatooine?”

Obi nodded slowly. “Yes… with his uncle, where he’ll hopefully be safe and far away from those who wish him harm, or to use him for their own purposes. Leia is with Bail on Alderaan.”

You agree then and there to help watch over the boy. It is the least you can do for him, and his parents… both of whom you’d loved beyond comprehension. The mere thought of Padmé’s pain and grief is enough to finally tip you over the edge and into another bottle of drink. 

Together you’d grieve… for your friends, for Anakin, and for the time you’ve lost… You simply let it all out, emptying yourselves as you fall apart into a thousand pieces. That way, when you wake the next morning, you can both begin the task of putting yourselves back together again… to construct a new world, a new reality for you both - together. At last.  

It would take some time and adjustments, to learn to live with one another but you’d eventually get there. 

You adapt to the fact that you two can now be together, without the need to hide your relationship. 

You start to remember what it is to laugh at things, to feel joy and not feel guilty for it. 

You also begin to find your own identities, your own purposes, without the Order or the Jedi. 

[lavenderdaisyhoney]

Maybe

Y/N x Jean Kirstein, Y/N x Reiner Braun

A/N: Please enjoy this little fic that came to mind as I was listening to The Weeknd’s ‘Save Your Tears’. I’ve been obsessed with this song lately and all the ideas that come to mind are angst filled so I apologize in advance for this. It does kind of have a light ending? Let me know if I’ve redeemed myself.

warnings: bar setting, angst, heartbreak. Please let me know if I’ve missed any!

Someone wise once told you that you could meet the right person but at the wrong time. You always naively laughed at that because it seemed so ludicrous. If someone was right for you, wouldn’t you do everything in your power to make it work? It was that type of innocent thinking that led you to this unbearable road. The sound of the microphone being tapped pulled you out of your thoughts. You were at the dive bar you and your friends frequented.

“Hello. I’m Mikasa. Recently, I hurt someone who is near and dear to my heart.” She paused and looked down at her guitar, regret filled her face. “This song isn’t mine. You all might know it actually..” She chuckled. “The lyrics...they resonate with me. With what I’m going through right now.” She looked up from her guitar and focused on the crowd. “Well, here goes nothing. I hope you enjoy my cover.” She started to strum on her guitar. Mikasa’s seductive voice filled the bar as she sang her sorrow away.

“You could’ve asked me why I broke your heart

You could’ve told me that you fell apart.”

She was apologizing that she couldn’t love him the way he deserved to be loved and you knew he would accept it. You just knew. All the time he spent looking at Mikasa, you spent looking at him. You’ve been in love with him since you could remember and you were ecstatic when you two had started going out.

You thought that you finally had a chance, reality be damned. You ignored your friends who told you that it was just a rebound relationship. Thinking back now, you should’ve listened. You thought finally he could see what was right in front of him this whole time but you should’ve known that he wanted to see one person and one person only. Mikasa.

“I made you think that I would always stay

I said some things that I should never say.”

You wished that you hated her but you didn’t. She was kind, pretty, athletic, friendly, and strong. All the things you pretended to be. Before you lost yourself to your own thoughts, you realized something. You loved him. Even right now, as he looks at someone else the way he should be looking at you. Your heart ached because it knew that those feelings will never be reciprocated in the way you wanted them to be.

A lone tear made its way down your face as you turned to look at him. A quick glance at Jean’s ruggedly handsome face confirmed what you’ve been putting off for the longest time. You knew that look. That was the same look that stared back at you when you looked into the mirror. Heartbreak. It’s at that moment the agonizing truth of what you need to do hits you. He’ll never love you the way he loves her.

You let go of his hand, cold air quickly absorbed the brief warmth you felt as you walked towards the bar to pay off the tab. Eren was there, cleaning the glasses. When he saw you approaching, he set them aside and threw the towel over his shoulder. Sadness and anger twisted his beautiful features. He paused, as if he was too hesitant to ask. “You okay, Y/N?”

You smiled but you knew it wasn’t sincere. “I will be.” You picked at the edge of the counter with your fingers, hoping he couldn’t see how utterly broken you are.

“It’s not fun for me either. She feels things for him I could not understand. I don’t think I’ll ever be able to but one thing is for sure. Mikasa and I? We’re endgame.” He sighed. “She’s the love of my life and sometimes…just sometimes I doubt if I am the love of hers.”

That confession had you shook to your core as everyone knew that Eren and Mikasa were soulmates. “Eren. You and Mikasa…are truly soulmates. If you’re doubting that, it seems like you both need to have a talk. What’s happening right now is my own fault. I knew better but just for once I wanted to give into my wishful thinking. I wanted to feel what it would be like instead of always wondering.” You caught your breath, having said much more than you had wanted to say.

Eren looked at the stage and then looked back at you. “I’m really sorry things played out this way, Y/N.”

“That’s why I’m letting him go. Because we’re both hurting each other.”

You took out your wallet but he shook his head. “I’ll make him pay.” You’re afraid to ask what exactly he meant by that.

You placed it back in your pocket. “I uh, I’ll be seeing you around, yeah?” With a nod, you headed towards the exit.

You left without a single last look. You came to the conclusion that it was a luxury you could no longer afford…that he was a luxury. One that you weren’t good enough to have.

A rough bump to your shoulder pushed you out of your own head and caused you to stumble against the door. You almost lost your balance but a warm hand grabbed you by the elbow, steadying you.

“I’m so sorry. I wasn’t watching where I was going.” A deep unfamiliar voice apologized.

You looked up and a pair of hazel eyes met your own. It seems like forever passed by as you both stared at each other. It didn’t escape you that his hand was still holding onto your elbow.

“Sorry about that.” He chuckled. “I’m kind of late so I was in a rush.”

Before you could reply back, a random guy you’ve only seen around a couple of times appeared behind you. “Hey Reiner, you’re late. We’re next on stage!”

Your perfect stranger nodded at his friend and his eyes met yours again. “I gotta go now. I hope to see you around here again sometime.” With that, he walked around you and into the bar.

You quickly exited and looked up at the sky, the moon appeared to be super bright tonight. That brief interaction replayed in your mind as you walked away into the night with your hands in your jacket pockets, a small grin on your face. Hmm, maybe it won’t be so bad. You let out the breath you’ve been holding in and realized your heart was little less heavier than before.

Maybe you will be back here again sometime.

Just maybe.

Taglist: @porcoqalliard @coffeeforday @lue-arlert @sinnerofthewalls @reiner69er @sunshinedragonofthewest @levis-hazelnut @oh-theseus @fierydiamond @maddieschai @honeyspalette @usernamehere91

[valleydean]

https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZTRjufjaR/?k=1

Hello! I just wanted to pass by and say that this was a 100% me when I finished A Ghost Story. It is the best destiel fic I've ever read and I am a complete utter disaster for it. This fic just clutched my heart into its claws and never gave it back. I have this immense ache in my chest because I'm mourning having finished it. I wish I could erase my memory so I can experience reading this story for the 1st time again. I'm so damn happy I found this fic because the amount of happiness that it brought me can't compare to anything else!

Also, oh Gosh, I know Dean Winchester and Dean Wesson are the same person but idk why I couldn't help but fall utterly and completely in love with Dean Wesson! He's so fucking sweet he gives me toochache! He legit built a whole ass garden for Castiel!!!! If a guy doesn't put as much effort as Dean put then what's the point! The way he loved Castiel just made me swoon so hard! I felt like my feet would never land on the ground bc I swear I flew off to another dimension! It made me so happy whenever he would make Castiel smile!

Also I'm still not over (spoiler alert!) That he fucking made it!!!! He fucking made it in timeeeeeeeee!!! And that fucking kills meeeeeeee! He went to get his love back and then... and then... FUUUUCK I can't!!! Both outcomes killed me either way. Dean making it and then that happening vs Cas sacrificing himself and Dean having to witness that! 😭😭😭😭😭 like my heart can't take this suffering!

Anyways, Dean Wesson, my beloved, has my heart in every sense of the word ❤️

Dean and Cas were literally so much fun to read throughout the whole story. I was invested in every aspect! The highs, the lows, the angst, the fluff, just EVERYTHING! Their love story was truly magical!

Thank you so much for gifting us such an extraordinary and captivating story! I swear it became one of my all time favorites!

I just started The Shawnee Trail and I already love it too! ^.^

P.S I love when Dean made a comment about Cas' aim being a little to the left and Cas getting all >:( about it hahaha it was so cute!

omg this is so NICE!!!!!!! i'm grinning like a fool rn hahaha. so so glad you liked it and that it made such an impression on you. it was a special fic to write, and honestly comments like this make it all worth it. thank you so much for taking the time to read it and let me know. i really appreciate you.

lmao i also love dean wesson. even though he was the one who was the hunter, there was still something so innocent and pure about him. he didn't have two lifetimes of trauma to deal with. and i do think that, even though dean didn't remember the way he died, he still subconsciously did and it made him very closed off and very protective of his heart in a way that dean wesson tried to be but never really was. for me, it's kinda like - the difference between who a person is when they're young and in their first puppy love vs. when they're older and have had their heart broken. so i'm glad that difference was able to come across in some way between the same character in different time periods. thanks for sharing your thoughts on that.

hope you enjoy shawnee trail!!! i'm flattered you're reading more of my stuff! i do love my western. it's the most fun i've ever had writing a fic.

thanks again for your support!

[animeyanderelover]

Hello again! Can I have prompt 46 with Ash? Tnx

Recently I told my friend that I had a lot of requests about him and she laughed about it. She doesn't really like him, but she gives him credit since he looks good.

Tw: Yandere themes, unhealthy mindset, unhealthy relationship, possessiveness, obsessiveness, delusions, extreme paranoia, isolation, desperation, mentions of kidnapping,overprotectiveness, mentions of self-harm, Stockholm syndrome

Prompt 46: "Can I...can I kiss you?"

It was nothing less than a miracle that someone like you existed, someone who was cleansed from all the sins of this world and the corruption of humans. You were radiating with everything Ash had wanted for this world, a world that he wanted to give to you. It was the minimum from what she should and would do for you, it was his duty as your very own guardian angel. A role he was utterly dedicated too, devoted to his very own angel who forgave him his sins every time.

It was true, you had forgiven him his crimes already a long time ago as everything around you had started to fade away and you had lost count of how long exactly you had been stuck in here. Somewhere around one and a half years would be your expectation, looking on how the seasons had changed through the large and closed windows which symbolized your loss of freedom. But you didn't mind anymore.

You only needed and wanted Ash, your guardian angel.

There was clear tension in his body, you could feel how he stiffened up under your embrace. He had never really received that sort of affection before from anyone nor would he have ever wanted it from all those worthless lives walking around freely. You were the only person he actually wanted any sort of touches from. That was how pure you were, even causing someone like him craving something and falling victim to his own desires. And it was his own fault for being so weak-minded. He didn't deserve you yet letting you perish outside would be an even greater sin. He had to keep you safe.

"My Queen...what are you doing?"

Being able to keep his composure was important in front of you, though he remembered to have failed multiple times in the past already. Severe punishment was the only thing he could think of to atone for his failures for not being good enough, for proving himself to be so incredibly useless. Even now he could feel some unhealed wounds aching a bit, but you didn't have to know about his weakness and incompetence.

You blinked slightly confused up at him when he asked you such an obvious question, but it soon turned into slight giggling that instantly plunged Ash's heart into painfully warm emotions and forced his eyes to get wet. It had taken a while until you had been able to look so happy after he had quickly rescued you from all the evil waiting to devour you. The distress he had felt back then could never be put in words and no burns, knifes and broken bones had been able to make up for what you had been suffering under. Even now it remained as a anxiety deeply stuck in his heart. But looking at you now, smiling at him and not staring with wide eyes filled with fear at him, was worth much more than his whole life could ever repay you.

"I’m hugging you. It’s just that you always look so worried and stressed over my safety and never appear to take a rest. Just now you did as well so I thought this might help you a bit. A strong hug can be more worth than thousand words after all. That’s what my mother told me at least when I was younger.”, you replied softly, pressing your face deeper into his chest with a content look on your face.

There was nothing Ash could think of for a few moments, instead he seared the scene in front of him deep into his brain, how you were currently buried into his chest, looking so happy and peaceful. So stunning and precious.

Tears were quick to escape his eyes only seconds later, his insides stirring up with warmth that stung him and yet baked him with something he hadn’t felt in so long. Comfort and peace.

This was exactly why he had to protect you with his very own life, no one was allowed to snuff out the light you carried inside of you and that was able to even share it’s warmth with him. You possessed too much kindness to understand, but normal humans only destroyed what they touched, ruining it with their greed.

He wouldn’t let them do the same to you.

He would kill everyone who would even do as much as getting too close.

He just had to guarantee that you would live.

But first of all he had to calm himself down or otherwise he might worry you even more than he seemed to have done already. The tears were quickly wiped away with his sleeves before Ash was able to look at you again, still feeling like he wanted to continue crying. His heart felt like it might burst at any moment.

“You have so much warmth and love inside of you that I don’t think I deserve any of it. You shouldn’t even be concerned about me, I merely do what I have to do as your guardian. If you were to fall victim to this damned place, I would perish as well. What use is an angel who can’t even protect their chosen one?”

Pain was twisting his voice and face a bit when he dared to imagine how a world without you would be, a world filled with grief and darkness for him. Letting his guard down would be a fatal mistake, he had seen the worst of this world and the humans and he knew that it would happen again. That was why he had to be like this for you were his heart beating outside his chest. If something were to ever happen to you...

The angel hadn't even noticed that he had already started crying again, fist tightened and body shaking whilst getting lost in fears of losing the one good and bright thing this world had still left.

"But for me you're more than just a guardian angel. You're my angel and I want you to feel happy as well. I want you to feel loved as well. You do so much for me, but I feel like I only cause you stress and uneasiness. Shouldn't you be happy because of me?", you asked him in slight protest, feeling sadness whilst seeing the man you had come to love like this again because of you. You had never seen him truly relaxed nor had you ever been able to show him your feelings. He wouldn't let you, not thinking that he deserved you.

His reaction was instant, suddenly falling on his knees upon hearing from what you had said that he had disappointed you yet again, the visible look of your sorrow only stabbing his fear deeper into his very soul.

"I-I am so sorry! I didn't know that you felt this way only because I was so selfish to only think about myself like this! I don't deserve your forgiveness and accept any sort of-"

When he felt the soft sensation of your hands cupping his stained cheeks, he abruptly stopped his rambling, trying to not choke on his own breath that had gotten irregular.

"You don't have to apologize to me. I don't want to hear you saying such things about yourself. Don't you understand? I am unhappy whenever you are like this, seeing yourself as so worthless and not deserving of my love. That's what hurts me so much. You're rejecting my feelings. I love you, Ash. And I want to know if you do too. Because if you do, please stop talking like this and behave so distantly."

Your voice conveyed every bit emotion that was going on inside of you in that moment, something that Ash noticed with widened eyes as well.

Silence was cut short by him when he realized that you wanted something crucial from him which he would gladly give you. He had never considered that you would ever consider his love as something you wanted, consider him as someone you loved. When had been the last time someone had been truly kind to him and loved him? He couldn't remember anymore.

"Of course I do. You should never doubt my feelings for you. I love you more than you could ever imagine. It's impossible to function without you.", he managed to reply with a shaking voice as he grabbed both of your hands in his own.

"Then why are you acting like this? Everyone deserves someone who loves them. Without love it's a very painful life, isn't it? That's why I am hurting as well. Let me love you and I promise that you'll be able to feel peace as well.", you muttered slightly embarrassed out, leaning your head down so your forehead could rest against his own.

Slight sobs were starting to catch up to Ash as he was staring in pure awe at you.

"Thank you. I'll be better and make sure that I won't cause you sadness anymore.", he pressed out, tightening his grip on your hands only the slightest bit so he wouldn't hurt you.

"I'm glad to hear that.", you replied with a sincere smile on your face, joy stirring your heart up just by seeing that for the first time since he had abducted you, Ash was looking relieved and less tense. He just looked extremely grateful.

"May I ask you for a favor then?", you requested with a certain idea in mind.

"I'll do anything for you.", Ash replied, sounding very emotional.

"I want to do something for you for once since you normally do anything for me."

Hesitation and clear dislike instantly shadowed his face, the thought of him asking something from you going against Ash's belief in all the wrong ways. You shouldn't have to do him favors.

"It doesn't have to be something difficult. It can be a really simple thing. Just...something that I can do for you this once. Please.", you begged slightly, seeing the angel already struggling. You knew how he felt about such things, he hated letting you do something for him and he had never done it before either. Ash saw it only upon himself to serve you which was another thing that sometimes made you feel guilty. You wanted to do more for him as well.

"Can I...can I kiss you?"

Maybe that had been more a slip of his tongue, but he had been slightly panicking since hadn't want to sadden you again nor had he wanted you to do physical work for him. It was supposed to be the other way around.

So when he had stared for a moment at your face, eyes locked on your lips, he had considered somewhere deep in his mind possibilities which he had been fantasizing about a few times before, but hadn't thought that they would actually have a change of happening.

In his opinion they were still sinful, it would take a while for him to get used to the idea that you wanted to receive physical affection and love from him. The first impulse when he realized what he had said was instantly apologizing, only to be interrupted before he could even start saying anything.

You had already leaned down to fulfill him his wish before he could take it back again.

[sylvie-writes]

Chain of Events

word count: 2500

pairing: andy barber x female reader

warnings: cheating, age gap, some profanity.

request: can i request a andy barber x fem!reader where the reader is his asisstant and his secret mistress (in mid 20s) which she always stick by his side and help him through jacob's trail. after the trail he divorced w laurie and they got marry and have a baby girl please!! thank you!!

a/n: sorry for the wait! i hope you enjoy lovely! ngl this really fueled my love for andy. 

please excuse any mistakes!

It wasn’t something you were proud of. Something that had started off as a night with a few innocent drinks paved the way for a never ending cycle. At times you felt dirty and awful, yet that didn’t stop you from going to see him every other night. Even when you had the slightest feeling that Laurie had a hunch, it didn’t stop you. Especially when things got dark for Andy, you were the one to hold him close and not his wife. It felt so right although extremely wrong all at the same time. 

༻﹡﹡﹡﹡﹡﹡﹡༺

Currently, you were sitting in your apartment bed, spending your Friday night a bit differently than most. Rain gushed from the sky and rhythmically hit your bedroom window which you were spaced out on, many thoughts running through your mind and a glass of wine occasionally hitting your lips. Using your free hand you softly ran your fingers through the mop of hair that belonged to Andy who was passed out in your lap. His breathing was even and it did your heart good to see him so peaceful for once. Just two hours ago, he called you, sounding so broken and vulnerable which was out of the ordinary for Andy. The minute you answered the door, he flung himself at you and held you tight, whispering repeatedly “don’t leave me, please.” 

It absolutely tore you to pieces to hear him say that and you were quick to reassure him that it wasn’t even possible. You then lead him to the bedroom to ask what had happened. 

“Is everything alright? Talk to me, Andy.” You placed a set of his pajamas into his hands but not without a pleading look in your eyes when meeting his own sullen ones.

“Laurie’s adamant it’s him, but (y/n)-” Placing a finger on his lips, you hushed him. 

“I know, I know. You just have to ignore it okay? Laurie is just,” Pausing, you chose your next words wisely, “having a hard time with it all. Everyone copes differently.” 

He sadly nodded before standing to kiss your forehead and make his way to the bathroom to get changed and cleaned up a bit. 

The two of you continued to chat about Jacob’s trial once Andy returned from the bathroom, and he confided in you in many ways more than one. You’d never seen Andy so open, even with yourself, and clearly it helped him quite a bit as he was now relaxed. 

Time had flown and amongst your thoughts, one stood out to you in particular. When would Laurie start to question where he was? Andy always had some bullshit excuse ready to give her and would then tell you that it would be alright. Normally, before you had time to truly convince yourself, Andy’s lips would be on yours or his hands would caress you gently and you’d melt into him as did your cares. Except for now. 

The two had just gotten into a huge fight and you were sure Andy hadn’t even thought twice about telling her where he was going. Even if he did, Laurie would surely be on the lookout for his return. 

Carefully reaching over to your nightstand, you grabbed your phone to check the time and noticed that it was getting late. 

“Andy? My love, when do you have to go home?” You leaned down to whisper to the sleeping man who groaned in return. 

You repeated his name once more, this time slightly shaking his shoulder to which he rolled onto his back, a goofy grin on his lips as he looked up at you. “Well hello, honey.” 

From Andy’s point of view, you peered down at him like a disappointed mother but with a faint smile upon her lips at her child’s goofiness. 

“Nice of you to join me, sleeping beauty. I was wondering what time you had to get home. It’s starting to rain more heavily and Laurie-”

Andy sat up and turned himself so he’d be sitting shoulder to shoulder with you. Silently, he took your empty wine glass from your hand, leaning to place it on your nightstand. As he did so, he didn’t let go of your wrist, which he brought to his lips when he returned to face you. 

Murmuring against your wrist, he started to place soft and delicate kisses to the smooth skin there. “Don’t worry about it. I told her I’d be back tomorrow morning.” 

“But Andy, she knows you don’t have anywhere to stay.” You didn’t want to exactly say “Hey! Andy, you have no friends and your wife knows that!” but it was implied in a kinder way. Andy picked up on this, clearly deflecting when he just nodded in response and started to place more kisses up your forearm. 

Letting out a frustrated “hmph,” you let Andy carry on before he victoriously smiled at you.

༻﹡﹡﹡﹡﹡﹡﹡༺

The vicious cycle went on throughout the course of Jacob’s trial as things between Andy and his wife got worse. Even though they both lived under the same roof, slept in the same bed, and put on a facade for Jacob, they were practically separated. One night Andy drunkenly showed up on your doorstep, confessing how he had come home to find Laurie with another man. In a fit of rage he let the cat out of the bag that he had been seeing you. Funny how things work. 

You knew they were both wrong, so instead of shaming either one of them, you just let Andy cling to you for comfort. When Andy was drunk, he was like a big child and if the circumstances were different, you’d been laughing, but rather you soothingly rubbed his back and listened as that’s all he needed. Someone who would just listen.

At three in the morning, he most definitely needed you as well when you found his head in the bowl of the toilet and not sleepily nestled in your neck. (Which was ironic as the two of you would be switching places very soon.)

Christmas came quick and along with it, many miracles, one being that Jacob was not convicted.

Just as Andy was in a rush to tell you the news, Laurie was even faster to serve the divorce papers to him. In a relationship, you and your partner are supposed to be able to push through tough times without breaking. With that being said, Andy and Laurie mutually agreed that they had failed and it was time they both quit lying to themselves. It was time for real happiness. 

༻﹡﹡﹡﹡﹡﹡﹡༺

“(y/n) meet me at our favorite restaurant in thirty minutes.”

You were working on some case files for Neil, despite your hatred for him, and tried to tell Andy that you were busy at the moment. He didn’t listen but continued to insist that you meet him there. His tone wasn’t demanding, but it was...excited? Surely, Andy had been excited over things in his life, but you’d never actually heard the usually emotionless man speak with such ardor. 

Setting down the case files, you rushed to put on some real pants and a blouse, but nothing too fancy or flashy as you had no idea what was about to happen. 

When you arrived at the restaurant, Andy happily flagged you over. He wore the biggest smile ever and you were borderline concerned. What could have him this happy? Was he getting back with Laurie? As much as you wanted them to be a functioning family, you weren’t sure if you could deal with such heartbreak because Andy really did feel like the one. 

Ever the gentleman, Andy pulled out your chair and handed you a small bouquet as you sat in the wooden seat. Before he walked away, the man planted a smack of a kiss on your lips and hurried back to his seat since he saw the waiter out of the corner of his eye. As the waiter approached, you were just sitting there, the most shocked expression on your face as it settled within you what Andy had just done. Long ago when this whole fiasco began, you and Andy always kept it professional when out in public because so many people knew him and word could get out easily that he was cheating. 

The minute the waiter left, you were quick to chastise Andy who just laughed as if it were the funniest thing in the world which left you a bit angered. 

Since the restaurant was quiet, you extended yourself across the table so Andy could hear your harsh muttering. 

“Do you realize what you just did, Barber?!” Andy shook his head in a content manner and at this point steam was about to emerge from your ears. Before all hell could break loose and you go ballistic, Andy cut in to explain. 

“Jacob, he’s a free man!” Andy looked at you with an awaiting smile and your face immediately softened, but for only a second as that didn’t explain why he was parading your relationship out like this. Didn’t he know what he was risking, not only for himself, but you.

Your counterpart noticed the sudden change of expression on your face and continued, “But among other things, I meant to tell you that Laurie and I got divorced recently.” 

“Oh hon, I am so sorry.” Reaching across the table, you comfortingly ran your thumb over the back of his hand, but he just shook his head in detest.

“No no, it’s not a bad thing because it just opened the gateway for this,” Andy pulled his hand away and went to dig in his coat pocket. You thought to yourself, no he couldn’t be-

“(y/n), I’m gonna make this short, but sweet. You mean the world to me and I could spend all night listing off why I love you, but that will never do justice, so instead, I ask that you make me the happiest man alive, and marry me?” 

His cliche, yet utterly adorable speech could make a person’s heart melt and instantly say yes, but you’ve always been a thinker, and maybe Andy had accounted for that a bit in his proposal. 

“Andrew! You just got divorced!” In a semi-whisper slash hiss, you bent over so only he could hear, hiding your words from the prying onlookers as if you had top secret info spilling from your lips. 

“I know, but, (y/n), you are the one.” He looked a bit awkward being on his knee for so long and the ring box still patiently in hand as you processed his question. Nonetheless, Andy continued to hopefully smile at you, ignoring all of the whispers, until you excitedly replied “yes” just a mere second later, though it felt like ages for him. 

This proposal was definitely gonna be a story for generations. 

༻﹡﹡﹡﹡﹡﹡﹡༺

You and Andy settled for a simple courthouse wedding with just your parents in attendance as witnesses. The two of you were never really used to flaunting your relationship, and even though you could now, it just wasn’t ideal. Besides, you had bigger things to worry about.

For example, when just a few weeks after your short-lived honeymoon, you noticed some changes and came to the conclusion that you were pregnant. 

One night, you casually brought up the idea of more kids to Andy to test the waters. 

“Hey love, you awake?”

Andy lifted his eyes from his book, no longer looking as if he was asleep. He nodded his head and set the book aside giving you his full attention. 

“What’s up, gorgeous?”

“I was thinking… what if we were to have a kid. Would you be opposed to that?”

The reaction on Andy’s face was most definitely not the one in mind and he looked as if you had asked him the most appalling question on earth. 

“(y/n), I love kids,” He chuckled a bit, “I thought I made that clear, you know, by being a dad and all.” 

His lame attempt at making a “joke” eased your nerves and you just came straightforward with the gold. 

“Andy, I think I am pregnant.” 

And faster than a predator can pounce, Andy was on you in seconds, his arms hugging you close as he whispered words of excitement. 

༻﹡﹡﹡﹡﹡﹡﹡༺

Nine months later and that statement was very true as you held a bundle of joy in your arms. Your hours numb in pain couldn't even be compared to the gift that was before you. Andy could hardly keep his hands off your stomach for the past few months and he never failed to speak to your daughter as if she was actually there. Now that her presence was finally in the world, Andy was yet to look away from her small figure and his smile hadn’t withered the slightest. 

The nurse had stepped out a few minutes ago, giving both you and Andy some time and privacy with your newborn. Even though drowsiness overcame your body, you visibly forced yourself awake just to absorb all the time you could with her. Little ones grow up in a flash and you weren't going to miss a second if it was up to you.

Andy joined you in the hospital bed when you silently invited him in with a soft pat to the crinkly sheets. Once he snuggled up against your side, you carefully passed the little baby who was about to have her first contact with her father. 

As Andy played with her mini hands, you sleepily rested your head on his broad shoulder, watching the two and already figuring out that they’d be lifelong friends. 

“They always say with age comes wiseness, but darlin’, your momma gives that phrase a run for its money.”

You giggled at your husband’s words and propped up the little darling the smallest bit so she could “see” you and her dad. 

“Don’t listen to Daddy, munchkin. The grey in his beard says otherwise.” 

“Hey! I’m not that old, I was still able to knock-” Backhanding Andy’s leg caused him to dramatically cut his sentence short. There were plenty of years for him to taint your daughter’s innocence.

 As you observed the two, you noticed Andy gazed at her as if she hung the moon and stars for him, a familiar look he often gave you. Possibly from the lack of energy or just being enamored with the interaction, a sweet tear slipped from your own eye. Upon closer inspection, one could see that a subtle tear fell from the man beside you.

If Andrew Stephen Barber had known all those years ago he’d be here with a second chance at life, he would’ve never even waited another second to be with you. It’s funny how life can send you down the most twisted paths, yet have you come out with the most precious of gifts. 

 taglist: @memissbee @tricereads @buckybarnesthehotshot @bval-1 @tonystankschild @just-one-ordinary-fangirl @turtoix @kelbabyblue @jakiki94 @aubreeskailynn @calirindo @lady-elena-adeline @siriuslyslyslytherin @sushiinmidnight @patzammit @iwik3it​

a/n: what did you guys think? it feels like ages since i’ve written anything, and I am sure you can tell haha

if you are new here, check out my masterlist at the top of my blog for more Andy Barber (and Chris Evans characters) writing. I’d link it but tumblr always tag blocks me :( 

[my-unmanageable-mischief]

New Norm

For the Anon who requested : Hey can I get a Sirius black x reader fic where their parents arrange their marriage.

Part 2

Trigger warning : Vomiting 

Sirius Black x Reader

You were practically inconsolable. Sobbing deeply into your pillow as your mother rubbed your back, your grandmother was behind her standing in the doorway with her nose slightly in the air. She was never fond of you- a troublemaker since you could walk. The family disappointment. The moment you were sorted into Gryffindor you expected to be disowned. Your paternal grandparents took it hard, your father even harder, but your mother- a soft spoken and at her core, kind hearted woman, still loved you. You were her only daughter after all. 

“This is no way for a young lady to behave.” Your grandmother tisked, and your mother looked over her shoulder, eyes pleading, “You’ve been given a gift greater then you deserve, to marry into the noble house of Black is a great honor.” That’s all she kept saying. How honorable it was, how lucky you were. You didn’t feel lucky. You choked slightly on your tears and your mother rubbed your back slightly harder. 

“I don’t want to be married! Not to a Black, not to anyone!” You sobbed, punching your pillow before shoving your face into it and letting out a scream. 

“Despicable.” Your grandmother scoffed. “You should be grateful, for a girl like you to marry a man like-”

“Mother.” Your mother spoke firmly, never raising her voice, “Give us some privacy please.” Your grandmother was displeased but she turned and walked swiftly from the room, allowing your door to slam shut behind her. It sounded like the lid of your coffin closing. Once you were alone your mother wrapped you in her arms, pulling you to her chest, allowing you to cry it out. When you were good and done and fully exhausted she pulled back looking at you. 

“I am sorry.” 

“Then why are you doing this to me?” You asked, voice pleading as you looked at the woman who was supposed to protect you. She smiled sadly, wiping the tears from your face with the sleeve of her robe. 

“We’re not doing anything to you, my love. This truly is for your own benefit. A good husband with a good name will take you far in life. You know, your father and I had an arranged marriage. We turned out alright, and we had you- and all your lovely brothers. Good will come from this.” You wanted to argue with her. To tell her that your father was a bastard and that they didn’t turn out alright. Your eldest brother hadn’t spoken to your family since he graduated and your youngest brother was so brainwashed he had never had an original though in his life. Nothing about your family was fine. “Besides, your father has already set these plans in stone. This summer you are going to marry Sirius Black. That is final, my love.” Final. If the door was the lid to your coffin closing then those words were the nails keeping it shut. 

“Okay,” You croaked. 

“Wash up and come downstairs for dinner, we will talk more then.” 

“Okay,” Your voice was broken and hoarse from your sobbing. ��Will grandmother be there?”

“Yes.”

“Okay.” 

On the other side of London Sirius Black was having a very similar and entirely different conversation with his own dotting parents. Much more screaming, and a lot less sobbing but the sentiment was the same. He did not want to be married. Not to you, not to anymore, especially not to someone his mother picked out for him. 

“I’M NOT GETTING MARRIED!” He roared at his mother who threw another curse in his direction, Sirius dodged it. 

“You will do as you’re told your ungrateful bastard! You bring shame on this family every single day, this is the least you can do!” She screamed back, his father sat in the parlor reading the Daily Prophet, ignoring them both. 

“I haven’t even graduated! And you expect me to be married? To some bitch you’ve picked out for me?” His mother sneered. 

“A bitch she is, perfect for you. I couldn’t get anyone worthy of the Black name, since you’ve disgraced yourself. You will be marrying Y/N Y/L/N. I think you’ll have more in common then you know, both pure-blooded family disappointments. The bottom of the barrel. You deserve each other. Maybe you’ll learn then.” He stopped when she said your name, surprised. He knew you, sure he did. A fellow Gryffindor a year below himself. He knew you were smart, and pretty and as far as he could tell, kind. Frankly, he didn’t even know you came from a pure-blooded family. When Sirius said no more his mother lowered her wand slightly, still sneering. 

“Go to your room immediately and do not leave until you’re fetched. We will be dining at the Y/L/N’s house later this week to finalize the plans for the ceremony. You will be ready to go, and you will be on your best behavior. Or else.”

“Or else what?” Sirius muttered, moving towards the stairs. 

“Or else your father will have to deal with you.” He wouldn’t admit it but that frightened Sirius to the bone. He and his mother could fight and yell their heads off for hours uninterrupted, but once his father got involved it ended swiftly and painfully. Sirius nodded once before stomping up the stairs and down the hall to his bedroom, content to lock himself inside for the remainder of the week. 

  A week later you sat in your kitchen fidgeting awkwardly in a dress you would have never voluntarily worn. But your grandmother had bought it, and your mother insisted saying it was a gift and a kind gesture. You were convinced it wasn’t. A green light flashed from the next room over, where your grandfather and father were waiting for the Blacks to arrive, and you heard an unfamiliar voice going through introductions. 

“Get up,” Your grandmother snapped at you, and you stood but didn’t move. “Go!” She barked out, “If you’re to be the lady of the house it’s high time you learned some manors. Go greet your guests.” 

“Yes, grandmother.” You muttered, walking from the kitchen into the sitting room. You knew Sirius from school, mostly from the gossip of your dormmates- according to them he was a god and could do no wrong. You couldn’t deny he was fit and he and his mates were a laugh, but the Sirius you saw in your home was not the Sirius from Hogwarts. Gone was his usual laid back demeanor and it had been replaced with cold eyes and a painfully neural look. You were used to the rule breaking wild child you heard epic tails about. You were surprised he wasn’t brought here kicking and screaming. His parents looked just like him, and there was a younger boy with them, something with an R if you remembered correctly. 

“Hello,” You greeted them, glancing at your father and grandfather sideways as you attempted to muster a smile- it came out more of a grimace. “Welcome to our home, Mrs. Black, Mr. Black. Sirius. R-erm...” 

“Regulus.” The mother spoke curtly. You nodded.

“Regulus. Welcome.” 

“Thank you child,” She was a stern looking woman with a voice that cut through your thin dress, chilling your bones. But the father was even worse. He barely spoke a word, only stared at you disapprovingly. 

“Come to the dining room, dinner is ready,” You father offered, gesturing, the Blacks filed past him and you into the other room, Sirius glancing down at you and meeting your eye as we went. Dinner was awkward, the talk was strained and sparse. You ate your food quietly, keeping your eyes downcast and only speaking when directly addressed, which was rarely. You caught Sirius’s eye a few times during the meal and offered him a small shrug and halfhearted smile which he barely returned. At least you had one thing in common; your shared misery. 

“The wedding will be in July,” Mrs. Black stated, and that got both of your attention, two heads turned. 

“This summer? I’m-” 

“Thrilled.” Your grandmother completed for you, sending you a chilling look. You swallowed thickly and looked back down at your lap for a moment as the conversation finally shifted to why you were all gathered. 

“We can hold it here, if you’d like, in the yard.” Your mother offered, eyes misty with tears of joy at the idea. You were going to be sick. 

“May I be excused to go to the loo?” You managed to choke out, everyone looked at you, and your mother nodded. 

“Of course, dear, everything alright?” 

“Fine,” You spoke but you were already out of your chair as you practically ran from the room. You heard your grandmother’s voice before you shut yourself into the bathroom.

“She’s just nervous, you remember how it was.” Nervous wasn’t the word you would use. Disgusted was more accurate. Destroyed. Completely and utterly devastated. You retched into the toilet, spilling the contents of your dinner you had forced down. When you were done you laid on the floor for a few minutes, trying to calm yourself. 

“Sirius,” His mother pulled him from his thoughts. 

“Yes?” He asked boredly, pushing his food around with his fork. 

“Why don’t you go check on your fiance.” It wasn’t a suggestion as much as it was an order politely delivered for the sake of their company. 

“I’m sure she didn’t fall in,” He responded dirly and his mother’s face darkened. 

“Go. Now.” Sirius tossed his napkin down onto the table and glared back as he got up, following you in the direction you had went. He knocked on a door and opened it when no one responded and was met with a large office. Not the loo. He found another door and knocked sharply. 

“Be out in a mo,” Your voice called weakly from inside, he frowned. 

“It’s Sirius. I’ve been sent to make sure you’re not trying to escape through the pipes.” He joked lamely and listened to some shuffling on the other side of the door, when you opened it, it was from a seated position on the floor. He smirked slightly. “What are you doing down there?” He asked, stepping into the bathroom and shutting the door behind him, “Alright?” You scooted back towards the toilet and shook your head going green. 

“I think I’m going to be sick again, you might want to go,” You warned, gripping the toilet bowl with white knuckles. Sirius felt something for you in that moment- pity maybe. You seemed so young sitting on the floor of your bathroom, and that’s because you were. 

“I’ve seen worse,” He assured, wincing as you began to heave into the basen. He came forward awkwardly, scooping your hair into his hands, trying to keep it out of your face. “You should see James after a bottle of firewhiskey.” You snorted out a laugh before retching again violently. When you were done you sat back and wiped your mouth and Sirius dropped your hair, going to the sink to get you a glass of water. 

“Thank you,” You croaked, taking it and sipping it slowly, “I’m sorry you had to see that.” 

“It’s alright. Are you okay?” He asked, knowing the answer but wondering if you would grace him with honesty.

“No,” You whimpered, “This is all... too much.” 

“Understandable,” He agreed, sitting on the bathroom floor beside you, “I am sorry. About this, the situation we have found ourselves in.” You shrugged meekly and continued to sip on the water. 

“According to my grandmother marrying you is a blessing for a disgrace like me,” You spat the words, not looking at the boy. “Like I’m supposed to be grateful I’m marrying virtually a stranger. Like I’m supposed to be happy to be married right after I turn sixteen for Merlin’s sake.” He nodded sympathetically. 

“Well trust me, being seventeen doesn’t make it much easier. And according to my mother this is my punishment for being the family fuck up, no offense.” You waved him off with a hand, “So at least we’ve got that in common.”

“What a wonderful thing to share.” You mused and he chuckled. There was another knock on the bathroom door before it opened your mother poking her head in. “Mum,” You greeted her, how long had you been gone? 

“Y/N, are you alright?” She asked, coming fully into the bathroom eyes worried. 

“I think I’m ill, must be grandmother’s cooking.” You quipped and Sirius hid his laugh behind a cough. Your mother looked at you sternly for a moment before her eyes went soft. 

“Poor dear, come back to the table, say your goodnights and then go to bed, we can finish the planning without you, it’s not a worry.” You wanted to tell her you weren’t a part of the planning to start with but refrained. 

“Yes, mum.” Sirius got up first and took the glass from your hand, setting it on the sink before offering you his hand, which you took, allowing him to pull you up. “Thank you,”

“Don’t mention it.” He assured and your mother led you both back to the dining room. 

“Y/N isn’t feeling well,” She announced, and at the look of you no one could accuse you of lying, you were pale and clammy and still a bit green. 

“My apologies, Mrs. Black, Mr. Black. I wish I could have been better company.” You didn’t. Mr. Black simply nodded and you while Mrs. Black managed to barely hide a sneer. 

“Poor dear.” She stated drily, but you had an inkling that she could simply care less. “Feel better and worry not, your wedding will be taken care of, nothing for you fret over.” 

“Thank you, ma’am.” You managed a weak smile at her which she did not reciprocate.  Your mother ushered you off towards your bedroom and you managed to send Sirius a thankful glance over your shoulder as you went. 

You took solace in the little things over the next month of wedding planning. Mainly, that your mother allowed you to choose your own wedding dress much to your grandmother’s dismay. 

“It’s hideous.” She commented when you had brought it home. 

“I think it’s lovely,” you answered smugly before being forced to sit through another lecure about how ungrateful you were. She was right, you weren’t grateful for the torture they were putting you through. Your birthday came and went with little fuss, the only gift you received came late at night by owl. You went to your window, letting in the unfamiliar owl, and taking the small simply wrapped parcel from his leg before opening the attached note. 

Happy Birthday Y/N,

My mother said I should get you a gift for your birthday, and you’re lucky I talked her into letting me pick it out on my own, she’s got awful taste. You should see the dress robes she wanted me in for the wedding, even my father had to veto them. Anyroads, hope your birthday was good, happy sweet sixteen. Enjoy the wedding planning, I sure am. (Sarcasm if you didn’t pick up on it,). I will see you in a few weeks. 

Sirius

You smiled at the kind words, thankful for them. You set the letter aside and opened the package genly, revealing a small jewelry box, you opened it and allowed yourself a small gasp. It was a simple gold chain with a small ruby pendant, Gryffindor colors. You smirked, knowing it was a direct disrespect of his parents to get you such a gift, it made you love it more. You put it on and looked at yourself in the mirror, touching the jewel gently. 

The two weeks flew by sickenly fast and you found yourself laying in bed wide awake at three a.m. on your wedding eve. Your grandmother had denied your request to have some of your school friends attend, citing that there was no room on the guest list for half-bloods and blood traitors. When you finally slept, it was restless and you kept waking up, a pit in the bottom of your stomach. Finally, about the fifth time you woke up it was light enough outside that you could call it morning, so you dressed in a dressing gown and tiptoed downstairs. 

Your house was spotless, covered in flowers and decoration even though the ceremony would be held outside. You snuck into the kitchen and snagged an apple before going to the window to look at the backyard. Every bush was meticulously manicured. Chairs were set up with a white runner between them, leading to an altar adorned in more flowers. It was a bit too frilly for your taste but it wasn’t bad. You ate your apple, staring out over the scene before you, trying to picture yourself walking down that aisle, Sirius at the other end. You shuddered. 

“Y/N, you’re up early.” You turned to look at your mother and shrugged. 

“Couldn’t sleep.” 

“Too excited?” 

“Something like that,” You murmured and your mother looked at you with pity. 

“Come here dear child,” She offered you a hand and you came forward, taking it. She pulled you into a hug and you went limp in her arms. “It will be alright. I promise you.” You didn’t believe her but you still tried to seek comfort in her words. You found none. 

“I don’t want to be married,” You whispered. 

“I know, darling, but this is what is best for you, you must trust me.” You continued to cling to your mother like you were a little girl again. “You will return to Black manor after the wedding and I will miss you dearly.” You’d already had this conversation, this argument. “You will go to school, Sirius will graduate, and you will have a home of your own to return to by next summer. One more year of school for you and you’re done. You’ll be all set. A home, a husband, a life. It will be fine.” 

“Right,” Fine. 

You spent hours getting your hair and makeup done perfectly, all the while micromanaged by your grandmother who was in full force. If she couldn’t pick your dress out she was going to have a say in the rest of the ensemble. Finally, you were left alone for a few moments. You looked around at your bedroom, most of the important things already packed into a few trunks to be moved to Black manor. Your door opened and your father stood there, he was to give you away- literally and figuratively. 

“It is time. Come.” You walked to him taking his offered arm. He led you through the home you had grown up in and you felt a swell of emotions within you that you did your best to suppress. He stopped at the doors to the garden and waited for the music to start. One of your cousins was a flower girl and she stepped out first, throwing more petals onto the runner as she went. You were next. You took a deep breath, trying to steady yourself as your father covered your face with your veil. Another few seconds past and he began walking, taking you with him. It felt like a dream- or maybe it was a nightmare. Either way you didn’t feel like it was real. The guest list was small and intimate, which made it easier. You kept your eyes trained forward as you walked and they landed on your soon to be husband. He looked handsome, standing there in his black dress robes, a flower pinned to his chest. He was looking back at you, an unreadable expression on his aristocratic features. 

You stopped just in front of him. Your father turned you towards him and lifted the veil again, leaning down to kiss your cheek with an emotionless face. This entire event was all for show, to fulfill some meaningless expectations that didn’t matter. He turned you back towards Sirius who offered you his hand, you took it, allowing yourself to move up to stand across from him. You didn’t listen to a word of the ceremony, only tuning in when your hand was squeezed. 

“Do you, Sirius Black, take Y/N Y/L/N to be your wedded wife, to live together in marriage? Do you promise to love her, comfort her, honor and keep her for better or worse, for richer or poorer, in sickness and health, and forsaking all others, be faithful only to her, for as long as you both shall live?” So many promises in such a fleeting moment for a union without any love. Sirius looked at you, holding your gaze. 

“I do. I take you, Y/N, to be my wife from this day forward, to join with you and share with you all that is to come, and I promise to be faithful to you, to protect you, until death do us part.” He went off script. The script you had been forced to sit down and memorize for the last three weeks. What did you need protecting from? 

Do you, Y/N Y/L/N, take Sirius Black to be your wedded husband, to live together in marriage? Do you promise to love him, comfort him, honor and keep him for better or worse, for richer or poorer, in sickness and health, and forsaking all others, be faithful only to him, for as long as you both shall live?” You felt your throat closing up with panic as you looked at the man-the boy in front of you. As long as you both shall live, you repeated to yourself. He squeezed your hand again and you took a deep breath. 

“I-I do. I, Y/N, take you, Sirius, to be my wedded husband, with your faults and your strengths, as I offer myself to you with my faults and my strengths. I will help you when you need help, and turn to you when I need help. I choose you as the person with whom I will spend my life." As if it were a choice. 

“I now pronounce you man and wife. You may now kiss the bride. May Merlin bless this union.” Sirius took your other hand in his as well, so he was holding both in his. You never expected to be kissing your husband for the first time in front of a crowd of people- and you certainly didn’t expect the man in front of you to be Sirius Black. He leaned in and you fought to keep from pulling back. He pressed a gentle kiss to your lips, letting it linger for a moment as the guest applauded. When he pulled away he offered you a gentle smile which you returned. 

The reception was dull, even with Sirius by your side and the several glasses of wine you managed to consume. You danced when you were ordered to dance, socialized when you were ordered to socialize and ate at the designated times. Pictures were taken and you couldn’t help but wonder how they would look tacked up on the wall of your future home. Together. It was a weird feeling, to think about a future with the man, but it was becoming slowly less unpleasant. Towards the end of the night, Mrs. Black approached the two of you, placing an iron grip on Sirius’s arm and you didn’t miss how his entire mood shifted. 

“You will go inside, and floo home. There is more business to tend to here, for the adults. We will be home in an hour or so, you two will be in bed.” 

“Alright,” 

“Yes mother.” She corrected and he merely rolled his eyes at her. You began to panic. You were leaving? Now? You hadn’t even gotten to say goodbye to your mother. Sirius lead you into your house, into the quiet stillness that was welcomed. You stopped just inside, putting a hand on his shoulder as you slipped off your heels, holding them in your hand offering him a slightly lopsided and halfhearted smile. 

“I’ve been waiting to take these off all night,” You admitted, and he chuckled, offering you his arm as you walked through the house. 

“I don’t blame you, I couldn’t imagine going through that torture with the added bonus of being on stilts.” You snorted and he gave you the first genuine smile of the evening. 

“You’re cute when you do that.” Your cheeks burned as you entered the parlor where the fireplace was. Sirius helped you inside and took a handful of floo powder before announcing ‘Black manor’ and you were gone. Gone from your home you had grown up in, gone from your mother and your life and everything you were used to. You were now in an unfamiliar sitting room, surrounded by unfamiliar walls. Regulus sat on one of the sofas a book in hand. 

“Congratulations to the happy couple,” He drawled. 

“Shove it.” Sirius muttered, taking your hand and leading you from the room, up the stairs, and down the hall. He opened his bedroom door and ushered you inside. You looked around your husband’s room. You were hit with a wave of something. Sadness? It was the room of a boy, not a man, not a husband. A boy, because that’s what he was after all. Quidditch posters littered the walls, along with a grand Gryffindor banner that looked like it was stolen straight from the great hall- hell it probably was. Knick knacks and books and magazines littered his desk; at least he managed to put his laundry in the hamper. 

“It’s not much but it’s home.” 

“It’s lovely, very... you.” Sirius went to his bed, pulling a box out from underneath, opening it to reveal a full bottle of firewhiskey. “Shall we have a toast?” He asked hesitantly and your shoulders relaxed. 

“God yes,” You breathed and he chuckled, opening it. You came to the bed, sitting down beside him. Sirius took a long swig from the bottle before handing it over to you, and you did the same. 

“So... wife,” He started and you smirked slightly, handing the bottle back and watching him take another large gulp. 

“Yes, husband?” 

“Weird isn’t it?” He asked and you nodded, accepting the bottle when he handed it back.

“Really weird.”

“Bad?” He asked and you smiled slightly, nudging him with your shoulder. 

“Could be worse. They could have married me off to a Malfoy.” He laughed at that. You continued to talk about anything besides the wedding, besides your future. You became more and more relaxed in his presence as you drank and finally got the chance to properly talk. You moved from sitting awkwardly on the edge of the bed to lounging across it, you laying on your stomach and Sirius laying with his back against his pillows. You felt light and happy for the first time in a month. You two sat, giggling as Sirius recounted one of his finer pranks against Severus Snape. You snorted again, covering your mouth as you pictured the look on the slimy gits face. 

“Have you always done that?” He asked and you quirked a brow at him.

“Done what?” 

“Snort when you laugh, I never noticed it before.” 

“I didn’t think you noticed anything about me before..” You admitted. Sirius nudged you. 

“Course I did. Smart, funny, and pretty. You’re a trifecta my dear.” You felt yourself blush again, looking down at the half empty bottle between you. 

“Thank you,” You murmured and he shrugged. You stifled a yawn as Sirius looked at you softly. 

“Sleepy?” 

“A bit.” 

“We can go to bed.” He offered and you nodded. You looked around, suddenly aware that your trunks weren’t there in his room, they had probably been delivered downstairs, if they’d been delivered yet. Seeming to read your mind Sirius peeled himself from the bed, going over to his dresser. He took out a t-shirt of a muggle band you didn’t recognize and tossed it towards you. He went to another drawer and rooted around for a moment before coming up with a pair of boxers. 

“These are old, they should fit you,” He stated, tossing them as well, you caught them, rosy cheeks. He pointed to the door that was slightly ajar, “Bathroom is in there,” You nodded, and climbed out of the bed, smoothing out your dress. 

“Thank you.” You went into the bathroom and once you were changed you reemerged. The t-shirt was long on you, covering the boxers you were wearing. Sirius was lounging on the bed in a pair of sweatpants, shirtless. You averted your gaze, scratching the back of your neck. Sirius sat up, seeing you hesitate. 

“Do you want me to sleep on the floor?” He asked and you shook your head, going to place your dress over the back of his desk chair. 

“No, that’s alright.” You promised. He looked handsome basked in nothing but the light of the moon and the small oil lamp on his bedside table. You climbed into bed beside the boy and he pulled the covers over both of you, reaching over you to turn the lamp off. You flushed again with him so close to you. He moved away and you a moment past where you missed the proximity. Sirius laid back into his pillows, and you curled up on your side facing him. He turned his head and smiled at you. 

“Goodnight, my wife.” He raised a hand, brushing a lock of your hair away from your face. 

“Goodnight, Sirius.” He leaned over then, placing a small kiss on your cheek before settling back in with a large yawn. You remained curled up on your side until well after he had fallen asleep. You were exhausted but being surrounded by so much unfamiliarity you couldn’t sleep. Eventually you drifted off to the tune of your husband's light breathing. Your new norm.

[nevertheless-moving]

Suicidal Misunderstanding AU Part V (SW Time Travel AU #27)

Part I - - - - -  Part II - - - - - Part III - - - - - Part IV 

After a meandering walk through what felt like every path the hanging gardens and marsh pools had to offer, Obi-Wan stopped to lean against a stone wall. 

“Obi-Wan? Are you ready to stop and eat something? As nice as this has been, I’m getting hungry and I’m guessing you are too.” 

Anakin was only being a little sarcastic. It had genuinely been nice to peacefully spend the day with Obi-Wan like this- they hadn’t been to the marsh habitats since the war started. He had resigned himself to watching Obi-Wan enthusiastically greet every wandering knight, master, and elder who they passed. 

It was actually starting to become impressive- Anakin never realized how many members of the Order his Master was friendly with- no wonder he was given a seat on the high council! But after the last heartfelt clasping of hands with a completely unfamiliar Bothan (thankfully for Anakin’s petty jealousy, Obi-Wan wasn’t hugging everyone), Anakin had asked who the knight was.

Obi Wan frowned. “No idea. But I suppose I must have seen him somewhere.” 

Anakin was no longer feeling impressed.

When a group of crechelings wandered by, Obi-Wan appeared briefly overwhelmed with emotion. His shields (apparently even better drunken than sober) didn’t let anything specific slip. But he knew Obi-Wan was feeling something intensely. Bizarrely, instead of saying hello, Obi-Wan hurried out and away with Anakin dragged behind, bringing them back to the stone wall and their skipped breakfast.

“Not yet.” Obi-Wan responded hoarsely. “I want to visit the Room of A Thousand Fountains first, and say a few more goodbyes.”

“Goodbyes?” Anakin asked, a slight chill running down his back. “We’re not shipping back out until the end of the week. Do you always say goodbye to everyone this thoroughly before redeployment?”

“No. Do you think I should have?” Obi-Wan frowned. “I feel like that would have been more upsetting than anything else.”

“Ok then, why are you saying goodbye now? To the whole order?” 

Obi-Wan didn’t reply, he just pushed off the wall to continue on his quest to apparently visit every corner of the temple.

“Master, please, you’re worrying me. If you won’t eat, then let me take you to the Healing Halls so they can check you over for drugs. We can visit the fountains after.”

Obi-Wan finally paused, thinking that over. “I would like to see Bant. She should be there, right?”  

Bant did end up being there, and was more touched than disturbed by Obi-Wan’s sincere joy to see her. While Obi-Wan wandered the halls greeting injured Knights, she ran several tests.

“As far as I can tell, all you had last night was human-appropriate alcohol. No force-user specific drug interactions, and no traces of Spice. It’s possible there’s something I missed, but your force presence doesn’t feel off balance in the manner I specifically associate with drug-induced altered perception. Your blood sugar is a little low and you’re somewhat dehydrated, especially considering you’re in the temple, not out on a mission.”

“I’ll take care of my physical needs after I visit the Room of a Thousand Fountains. Just because a vision isn’t purely induced by the force doesn’t mean I can’t draw meaning from it. I do appreciate how you always looked out for me though, Bant. I’ve missed your fussing.” Obi-Wan smiled, clasping one of her hands in his.

Bant sighed, “If Master Yoda wasn’t off world I’d urge you to talk to him. I haven’t seen you this shaken by a vision since we were younglings. Even if you do seem to be handling it fairly... calmly.” 

Obi-Wan laughed. “I’ll tell him you said that someday. I might be wrong, but I think he’ll be happy to learn about-” Obi-Wan gestured around vaguely, “all this. I’ll talk to him at some point. I’m sure of it.” 

She glanced over at Anakin, who had been a quietly looming shadow the whole visit. He seemed both relieved by the diagnosis as well as bewildered. “Can I speak to you privately?”

Obi-Wan nodded and Anakin stalked out of the test room. 

She scrutinized him, worry more obvious now, “Don’t think I haven’t noticed you slipping tenses this whole time. You’re still not sure where your vision ends and reality begins, are you? Do you even know when you are?”

Obi-Wan looked down. “I know what’s real and what’s not. I’m just...enjoying not fully living in the moment. I have every intention of waking up.”

“Yeah, that’s a BIG red flag, Obi-Wan. Force.” She tilted her head back and forth, examining him with obvious concern. “I am scheduling an appointment for a soul healer and you are going to go, understand?” She demanded.

Obi-Wan agreed far too easily. She reluctantly let him leave with an earnest promise to eat something real.

Obi-Wan came outside to find Anakin pacing. 

“I’m glad you’re still here,” he told his former Padawan, ignoring the ache in his chest.

“Of course Ori’vod,” Anakin said, ducking his head with a shy smile. “What did Bant say?”

“She wants me to eat something real and visit a soul healer.” Obi-Wan sighed. “Well, I can do at least one of those things.”

“A soul healer! She thinks you’re crazy?” Anakin asked offended. 

“First of all, you don’t have to be unstable to visit a soul healer. I’ve seen them in the past, when there wasn’t as much wrong with me. I’m sorry if I led you to believe you couldn’t seek out help for your problems.” Obi-Wan said. Another mistake.

“I-I know that. I just thought, you know, Jedi can be judgmental of that sort of thing. A good Jedi is supposed to be able to just, meditate stuff away.” Anakin said bitterly.

Obi-Wan thought furiously. Was this why he had been so blindsided by Anakin’s fall? Had his padawan been so afraid of judgement that he hid all of the warning sides of his struggles with darkness? Maybe he could ask Owen for some sort of petty assistance when he brought over bantha milk next time, to demonstrate to young Luke that it was ok to ask for help. No, he was probably still too young for those sorts of lessons to have much meaning. The insight would require meditation, when he was more sober. 

Unsure how ‘Anakin’ would respond, Obi-Wan tentatively said, “You’re right, that some Jedi might judge for seeking such aid. But I think in the last years of the war, that sort of opinion became less and less common. After all, an ideal Jedi shouldn’t be leading an army. I don’t know if anyone can be perfect during war, let alone a peacekeeper.”

When that failed to garner positive or negative reply, Obi-Wan let out a breath. “It hardly matters, since I can’t exactly visit a therapist, let alone a soul healer, given my present living conditions.” 

Anakin seemed to process that, giving Obi-Wan a long, searching look. “What’s your next point?”

“Hmm?”

“You said first of all, and I think that was all one thing, so what’s your second point?”

“Not exactly being able to visit a soul healer regularly doesn’t count as a separate retort?”

“I guess? I’m just trying to understand what you’re trying to tell me” A twinge of frustration crept into Anakin’s otherwise level tone.

"I appreciate that, truly, and I regret the number of hurtful miscommunications that sprung up from me failing to do just that. Well, I suppose, by most reasonable standards, I am ‘crazy.’ Getting some help with unraveling my mind would probably be best, if it were an option, but it isn’t so...” Obi-Wan shrugged.

Before any followup questions could be asked, they finally arrived at the main entrance to the Room of a Thousand Fountains. The archway was stunning, water flowing upwards along the stone in intricate, shifting tessellations. When they stepped through, Obi-Wan was delighted to see Mace Windu sitting on a bench by the entrance. 

“Mace! I was hoping to see you.”

Mace looked at him. He seemed at first, to be utterly unsurprised by the duo’s arrival. But the longer he stared, the more visible shock overtook his features. “Master Koon recommended I look for you...force what happened.”

Obi-Wan just chuckled. “Oh you know. What didn’t happen.”

“What’s wrong?” Anakin asked urgently. “What do you see, Master Windu?”

Obi-Wan tried to wave them both off, laugh a little more forced. “Please, I came here to relax. I’m sure it would be easier to say what’s not wrong with-”

“Kark it, Obi-Wan this isn’t a joking matter.” Master Windu’s voice was calm, but insistent. He slowly started approaching Obi-Wan as though the fellow council member were a feral loth-cat. 

“You look as if...nearly every shatter point around you has broken open. Force, I think you’ve been carrying some of these with you since you were a child. Usually when things that deep break...And some of these- some of these are too big to have just affected you.” Mace hesitantly reached forward, brushing against something invisible.

A chill ran down Anakin’s spine, again. What the kriff did Obi-Wan see in his vision? Last night he mentioned the temple burning, their rooms turned to ash, and Anakin had just...let that go in favor of greedily spending time with this addictively affectionate version of Obi-Wan.

“Mace...” Obi-Wan groaned. “I had been wondering what you might say to me but this is...please, can’t you just give me a hug and let me enjoy the peace for one more hour.”

“Master Kenobi,” Mace said, seeming to revert to an even more serious version of himself. “What I see cracked open around you is bigger than the reemergence of the Sith on Naboo, bigger than the first battle of Genosis. Whatever has happened, you cannot possibly keep it to yourself, practically or morally.”

To the shock of both Windu and Skywalker, Obi-Wan actually rolled his eyes at that. “Mace. You are not telling me anything I do not already know. And I am choosing to spend a little longer enjoying the unique joys of the Temple before dealing with the harshness of reality. Haven’t I earned a small break? I’m not abandoning my duty, but if I don’t take care of myself where I can I’ll go madder than I already have.” 

At no point did Obi-Wan’s voice get whiny or upset, he just calmly dropped a series of bombshells like he was repeating an argument.

Mace and Anakin exchanged glances, but if Mace was trying to communicate something, it was utterly lost on Anakin. 

“Alright, Master Kenobi. I trust your judgement.” 

And, to Anakin’s shock, Mace pulled Obi-Wan for a tight hug. “And I care about you, Obi-Wan.”

For a brief, hysterical moment, Anakin Skywalker wondered if he was about to witness his Master break down crying on the shoulder of Mace Windu the Master of the Jedi Order.

But Obi-Wan just let out a slow breath and returned the embrace before bowing deeply in Respect. Windu returned the bow with a placid expression. 

“If you’ll excuse me...I think I’d like to stand by the waterfall alone for a moment.” He paused, turning to address Anakin. “If you’re willing to wait for me, I’ll happily rejoin you by the glowing mushrooms.” Anakin nodded silently and Obi-Wan beamed before leaving the two alone together.

Mace turned to the young knight in a silent demand for answers, and, for once, Anakin was eager to share what he was dealing with. “He came back drunk last night, talking about the temple burning down, and being well-”

“Unusually emotionally expressive?” Mace offered.

Anakin nodded. “Took a blood sample to analyze in the morning. He woke determined to hug every sentient being in the temple. I actually managed to get him to the halls just before we came here; Master Eerin said there was nothing in his system and...I just don’t know. He’s been off today, but not in a bad way, exactly. Could a vision have caused the shattering you saw?

Mace furrowed his brow. “Not any vision like I’ve ever seen but...these are dark times. And Master Kenobi has had historically bad luck. If some new cataclysm is coming for us- I absolutely believe he’d be the first of us to stumble into it. Something terrible and extraordinary must have happened in the 24 hours since I last saw him in person.”

A beat passed.

“I should go to the mushrooms before I lose track of him,” Anakin said quietly.

Mace nodded. “Skywalker, if you need assistance dragging him back to the healers for whatever reason, comm me, understood?” 

“Understood. Master Koon said the same.” the Knight replied, heart pounding.

The Windu clasped him on the shoulder firmly, "I’m going to check in with Master Eerin. It’s possible she has some suspicions that my observations will help her confirm. Until then...”

“I’ll look out for him.” Anakin promised.

Part VI

[caramelcal]

heartbreak girl

Word Count: 2.7k

a/n: ik i have requests to write (i am writing them don’t worry !) but i got super inspired when i was listening to my bbys 5sos

the luke hemmings / luke patterson comparison videos ive seen are my favourites, love it when two fandoms collide lollll

disclaimer: i do not condone plagiarism on my work at all, this has not been posted on any other platforms, or on tumblr anywhere else but my account (rosemoonmist) if you see anyone plagiarizing mine (or anyone else’s work for that matter) please inform the rightful author ! thank you lovelies x 

masterlist

You call me up It's like a broken record Saying that your heart hurts That you'll never get over him getting over you And you end up crying And I end up lying 'Cause I'm just a sucker for anything that you do

You couldn’t stop playing the video. Ever since it was sent you from a random number, you couldn’t stop crying. The video was barely ten seconds long, but it was ten seconds that broke your heart. There your boyfriend was, clear as day, kissing a girl that wasn’t you.

It isn’t long before you heard the front door open and slam behind someone, reminding you of who you told to come over. Luke, your best friend since you guys met in the sandpit at six years old. When he accidentally pushed you in, so you kicked him in the nuts. You guys had been inseparable ever since.

Luke was your best friend, and you were his. You guys had been through everything together. When he first learned guitar, when you did gymnastics, when he joined a band, when you guys first went to high school, and now, your first heartbreak.

“y/n?” He calls from downstairs, looking around the dark room. He had learned from a young age to just come into your house without knocking, your house was his second home after all.

Of course, you do have a few female friends that you could have called but none of them knew you as well as Luke did and you knew Luke would be there with you through everything. He would understand. He would comfort you better than any girl ever could. You walked down the stairs, trying to keep your sobs in but once you caught eyes with Luke, the tears started to fall.

“Luke,” You let out, looking at the boy barely keeping yourself together.

“y/n/n, what’s wrong?” Luke questions, eyes wracking over your defeated posture before looking up at your puffy red eyes. It was clear you had been crying, but why?

“He- he-,” You cut yourself short, letting back a choked sob as you land at the bottom of the stairs, Luke walking closer to you, his face looking at you with concern, “Luke he was with another girl, he cheated-”

Mind wracking back over the video, you broke down into tears, falling into Luke’s now open arms. Suddenly, once you're in the arms of your best friend all of your walls come crashing down and you start to cry louder, letting out every emotion you felt that night. The sadness, betrayal, and overall heartbreak.

Luke holds the back of your head soothingly as you cry into his chest, playing softly with the hair on your head. By this point, he is supporting all of your weight but he doesn’t mind as he lifts you over to the couch, allowing you to continue crying in a more comfortable position than the awkward standing position you were in moments before.

Whilst Luke was sad hearing you cry, he was overcome with anger.  The fact that the scum would cheat, on you of all people. You were amazing, perfect even, so why would someone ever give away the chance of being with you? He knew he wouldn’t. Luke knew how much you loved and cared for the boy, Jack, and to see him cheat on you, he couldn’t help but be furious.

If he was being honest, the thing he wanted more than anything right now was to hook him right in the face. Punch him right where he stood, busting open his face so that no other girl would ever want to kiss him again. It’s what he deserves. Luke knew he was probably being a bit overprotective, but that didn’t matter to him, what mattered was that you were okay right now.

The last thing you needed in your state of fragility was Luke leaving you by yourself to set into the dickhead. Oh no, that could be done another time when you weren’t crying. What you truly needed right now was his comfort, so that’s what he gave you. He held you close, not even saying anything but hugging you closely, silently reminding you that he was here for you and always would be as you softly lulled into a sleep.

And when then phone call finally ends You say "Thanks for being a friend" And I'm going in circles again and again

I dedicate this song to you The one who never sees the truth That I can take away you hurt Heartbreak girl Hold you tight straight through the daylight I'm right here, when you gonna realise That I'm your cure? Heartbreak girl

Walking down the hall, Luke’s eyes catch onto you. Even though he’s been with you all weekend, comforting you after the video you saw on Friday, just looking at you is a sad reminder of how you are doing. A frown has fallen onto your face whilst you look over at something. Following your gaze, Luke finds him, Jack, with his arm wrapped around the girl in the video.

He wants to punch that stupid smirk off Jack’s face, then they’ll see who’s truly laughing. When Luke’s eyes drift back over to you, he feels his stomach dropping slightly. The look in your gaze makes you look broken, eyes conveying a sense of vulnerability that Luke didn’t think was possible. Maybe it’s just because Luke knows you better and knows how to read you better than everyone else, but he notices all of the changes in you. He sees how your eyes lacked the sparkle they usually had, your usual smile not present, even your outfit seemed a little dull. Nonetheless, you’re still gorgeous, Luke thinks so, but you look different; less lively.

All of this heartbreak just because of a stupid boy. One stupid hard-headed jock that doesn’t know how to truly value the important things in his life. The stupid jock that didn’t know how much you were truly worth.

Luke knows he could treat you so much better if you just gave him the chance to. If you looked his way instead of Jack’s. He would hold you close and never let you go, let you know just how much you meant to him and those truly important around you. He would watch you like the only person in the world because you were the only one that mattered. 

He doesn’t even realize he was staring at you until he hears a cough sound from behind him as Reggie puts an arm over his shoulder, smirking, “You’re staring, pal.”

Luke, who’s eyes briefly glanced over towards Reggie when the bassist spoke, glanced back at you quickly, sighing lightly in relief when he realizes you didn’t notice him staring at you. He shrugs half-heartedly, not noticing the knowing look that Reggie gives him as he speaks, “I can’t, Reg. I’m not supposed to like her like this, she’s my best friend.”

“Best friend or not, I see the way you look at her, everyone does but her,” Reggie says before patting his friend on the back.

“She still likes him Reg, and I’ve known her since we were six. She’s been in so many relationships yet she fell for the stupid jock,” Luke says, shaking his head as his fists clench at his sides. He doesn’t realize but his face contorts into anger, making Reggie smirk, “she deserves so much better. She deserves someone who’s going to appreciate her. Someone who will show her how much she means to them-”

“Someone like you?” Reggie asks, making Luke glance at him with an annoyed expression, huffing. Reggie shrugs his shoulders, “Just saying man if anyone knows y/n it’s you. You just gotta be there for her and she’ll realize how much you mean to her. I mean, everyone thinks you guys are meant for each other, soon she’ll see that too.”

I bite my tongue But I wanna scream out You could be with me now But I end up telling you what you wanna hear But you're not ready And it's so frustrating He treats you so bad and I'm so good to you, it's not fair

And when the phone call finally ends You say "I'll call you tomorrow at 10" And I'm stuck in the friendzone again and again

Luke is frustrated. It has been two weeks since his conversation with Reggie, and the hope Reggie had given him for pursuing a relationship was surely fizzling out. Reggie was wrong, that’s what Luke thought anyway. Not only had you not realized how much Luke was bending his back for you, going out of his way to comfort you, being there for you 24/7, you had been so utterly stupid. Jack had given you the most insincere apology known to man, and you were meeting up with him for a date.

It had been forty-seven minutes since you had left, not that Luke was counting or anything and he still hadn’t heard a word from you. No text, no call, nothing. Jack was probably taking up all of your attention with his boring jock stories or his lame jokes. He probably didn’t even compliment you when you arrived and that was practically criminal.

You had been all dressed up when you left, not that Jack would have even noticed, but Luke did. He noticed the way the outfit you wore looked perfect on you, complimenting everything about you and most importantly, how confident you felt in it. You deserved more than a boy that wouldn’t even tell you that you were pretty, Luke knew that, he just wished you did too. 

He paces around his room, feet aggressively hitting the ground. He wanted to punch something, to let out all of the anger and frustration that was itching, begging to be released. Yet, his anger was cut short when he heard his phone start to ring.

“Hello?”

“Lu?” Your voice sounded through his phone, ringing in his ears.

“Y/n?” Luke said in confusion, eyes glancing up at the time, “Aren’t you supposed to be on your date?”

You hesitate to answer, a complete silence hanging in the air until your light sniffles sound through the phone, “He didn’t show, Lu. M-My mom dropped me off, I don’t have my car. Can you come pick me up?”

“I’ll be there in 10, stay there y/n/n.”

Luke ran out of the house.

I dedicate this song to you The one who never sees the truth That I can take away you hurt Heartbreak girl Hold you tight straight through the daylight I'm right here, when you gonna realise That I'm your cure? Heartbreak girl

I know someday it's gonna happen And you'll finally forget the day you met him Sometimes I'm so close to confession I gotta get it through your head That you belong with me instead

Luke couldn’t help but smile at you, hazel eyes meeting your e/c eyes as he strung his guitar expertly. It wasn’t an uncommon occurrence for you to be at band practices, actually, you were at a large amount of them. It was normal for you to watch the band, well that’s what you said you were doing, but you were only really looking at Luke.

You didn’t play any musical instruments properly, but you could play a little guitar from what Luke had taught you. You remembered his teaching you, arms wrapped around you, hands guiding your fingers onto the different frets, playing different cords. He didn’t give up when you messed up, and instead, he smiles and shows you again, your back flushed against his chest.

It was no secret that you always enjoyed watching their band practice and perform, but it was different this time because they had gotten you to stop thinking about Jack. This was the first day that you didn’t feel miserable and instead felt happy in their presence. It was the first day that your gleaming smile returned, one that all members of the band had missed.

Soon enough, they were finished, congratulating each other on how well they played with large smiles.

“We’re gonna sound great at the rally!” Reggie says, flipping his bass down to his side so he didn’t have to hold it as he gave Luke a high five before turning to Alex, all of them breathing heavily with huge smiles.

“Of course, we’re still finishing with the other song, right?” Alex asked, eyes looking over at Luke for approval. He nodded his head, making you look at them in confusion.

“What other song?”

Luke glanced over to you, walking closer before kneeling beside you, guitar still in his hand, smirking “Can’t tell you, it’s a surprise.”

You groaned lightly, flinging your head back before giving the boy your puppy eyes, “Please? I won’t tell.”

He laughed lightly, shaking his head at you. Over the years, he had often been the victim to your puppy eyes, and whilst he often found them irresistible, he knew he couldn’t tell you this secret. He playfully slapped you on the arm, “Get those puppy eyes away, they’re not gonna work today.”

“Fine,” you grumbled, standing up before you stood up alongside Luke, who slung an arm over your shoulder. You guys shared a look, almost communicating through your eyes, something that you guys had gotten freakishly good at since you were kids.

“So, who wants to go grab a smoothie?” Luke said, turning his attention towards the rest of the band as you jumped on his back, ready to leave practice for smoothies.

I dedicate this song to you The one who never sees the truth That I can take away you hurt Heartbreak girl Hold you tight straight through the daylight I'm right here, when you gonna realise That I'm your cure Heartbreak girl

Soon enough, the rally at school came and the students surround the stage that the band was playing on. You stood at the back, proudly watching them as they played. Their most recent song blasts through the halls, exciting the students more than you had seen for the previous people on stage, even Dirty Candy. Sweat drips off of them, lights blazing down on them with intensity.

Eyes looking at Luke, you see him jump around when he sings and it brings a smile to your face. You knew this was their surprise song, the song that they were ending with because it was an unfamiliar tune, but one that Luke was pouring every feeling into as he sang the lyrics.

Suddenly, he’s no longer playing his guitar and it’s hanging on the strap by his side, mic detached from the stand and he’s making his way off of the stage and running through the crowd. You’re astonished, not only because Luke is running off stage, but that it somehow isn’t affecting his vocals.

Everyone seems to knowingly make a path for him to run through, almost as if they know where he is going to. Your eyes stay on him as he comes through the crowd, slowing down to a walk as he begins to sing again,

“I dedicate this song to you The one who never sees the truth That I can take away you hurt Heartbreak girl

Hold you tight straight through the daylight I'm right here, when you gonna realise That I'm your cure? Heartbreak girl.”

His eyes meet yours when he is standing barely feet away from you. His hair is messed up, dripping with sweat but you barely notice. When he stops singing, he lifts the mic away from his face and holds it down away from both of your faces so that it can’t pick up what you’re saying.

People start to talk between themselves, all of them staring at you and Luke standing barely a foot apart, eyes gazing into one another but you don’t notice because you’re too busy looking at Luke. You’re speechless, heart racing faster than you thought humanly possible, with lips slightly apart before he whispers to you, “This is for you, my heartbreak girl.”

Then, his free hand makes its way up and cups your cheek, and his lips connect with yours.