#hellish timeline we're living in

[gen-is-gone]

WHY DO THEY KEEP MISSING?!

[deltaruminations]

quick breakdown of what i think The Legend (as told to us by ralsei) might be communicating, since i don't think i've actually laid out my thoughts on this before

Once upon a time, a LEGEND was whispered among shadows. It was a LEGEND of HOPE. It was a LEGEND of DREAMS. It was a LEGEND of LIGHT. It was a LEGEND of DARK. This is the legend of DELTA RUNE

this first section is just serving to establish broad themes and symbols relevant to the story. it's scene-setting, and suggests an origin for the legend ("whispered among shadows").

For millenia, LIGHT and DARK have lived in balance, Bringing peace to the WORLD. But if this harmony were to shatter... a terrible calamity would occur. The sky will run black with terror And the land will crack with fear. Then, her heart pounding... The EARTH will draw her final breath.

we know as of chapter 2 that this part describes the Roaring, and vaguely gestures at its cause (the "harmony" between light and dark being "shattered"). in a normal RPG "prophecy," this would be describing the Terrible Outcome that the heroes are destined to prevent.

the part that confounds theorists is how it seems to contradict the next bit, which more or less directly states that the three heroes of legend won't even arrive until after the Earth has died. what this implies is that the Roaring already happened before the game even started. if we're doomed from the start, then what's the point?

if we say that this is a "second take" of the world, then this is actually internally consistent. the Roaring did, in fact, already happen in a different "session" or instance of deltarune's story -- maybe it happened in this timeline, and the timeline was recently reset, or maybe it was a different timeline from which this one was spun off. either way, the world was given a second chance to stop the Roaring, but this only became possible after it had already happened (at least) once.

if we put stock in the idea that gaster wrote the Legend (as it's told by ralsei), we could speculate that this part of the Legend isn't actually prophetic, but rather based on some kind of prior experience, whether because he saw it from the outside or experienced it first-hand.

Only then, shining with hope... Three HEROES appear at WORLDS' edge. A HUMAN, A MONSTER, And a PRINCE FROM THE DARK. Only they can seal the fountains And banish the ANGEL'S HEAVEN. Only then will balance be restored, And the WORLD saved from destruction.

this is, of course, setting the scene for our current "session" and laying out the basic goals for the rest of our journey (or at least, what those goals are *supposed* to be).

under the "take 2" interpretation, this is the section describing the world's second chance. the Roaring is fated to happen, and indeed already has, in a different "session." without intervention, the Roaring WILL happen, by default. so the Legend hasn't simply tasked the heroes with preventing a calamity that theoretically COULD occur, but rather with changing the very fate of a world that is supposed to be DESTINED for that calamity.

"Angel's Heaven" could be referring to some end-state of a Roaring'd world, but it might refer to something else, depending on who or what we think this "Angel" actually is. if we consider the Angel some kind of demiurge, creator figure, or even author stand-in, then "heaven" could even refer to the story itself, whereby the narrative described in the previous section -- the one that prescribes a "fated" Bad End -- might itself be the Angel's "Heaven." it's a world of the Angel's design, that follows Its will; "heaven" in this sense might not refer to the specific quality of someone's Happy or Good Place, but more generally to the Angel's holy domain -- Its sphere of control, or maybe Its sandbox. to prevent the Roaring and change the story's ending is, in a way, to "banish" that story and replace it with a story that the Angel didn't design and can't control -- a story of profane (or perhaps "hellish") origin, which happens to be consistent with gaster's roles as both Actual Satan and the possible orchestrator of the current "session."

Today, the FOUNTAIN OF DARKNESS- The geyser that gives this land form- Stands tall at the center of the kingdom. But recently, another fountain has appeared on the horizon... And with it, the balance of LIGHT and DARK begins to shift...

and of course this is just setting up chapter 1 lol

anyway that's all. thanks. bye

[m3rricat]

wip wednesday (eve)

me: so I know all the plot bits I need to hit in this chapter before *redacted*, but I need the boys to have a moment--

wyll and astarion: yeah so we've decided we're going to be doing laundry and have A Moment that you won't have thought about until you literally start writing it.

me: effervescent

It was Astarion who took the lead, showing Wyll how to use a washboard as they hunched over a tub in the little brown courtyard, surrounded by fellow tenants doing the same. “I forgot you were this old,” Wyll said as he wrung out one of his shirts. Astarion snorted. “Thank you ever so much for that observation.” “You’re offended!” “And you don’t seem to care much,” Astarion retorted, though he failed to completely wrestle the grin off his face. “Because I know you can take it,” said Wyll, smiling back in his infuriatingly bright way. “Sounds like something a child would say.” “Child? I’m thirty-four!” “Adolescent, then,” said Astarion, elbowing Wyll playfully aside to make room at the edge of the tub. Wyll fell silent as something occurred to him. The sounds of laundry day labor filled the air. Astarion looked at him sidelong. “What’s wrong?” “Oh, just…" Wyll paused. Hearing it out loud made it sound even stranger. "I’m wondering how long I’ll live now, if I stay stuck in this body. It must change things." “Oh. That’s a good question,” said Astarion after a moment. Their hands stilled in the murky water. “I’d guess if anything, it would probably make my life longer? Huh.” Wyll frowned. “That’s weird to think about.” Astarion glanced back down at the pair of soaked trousers in his grip. “It is a weird thing to consider when that sort of thing changes. You have a… firm concept of your timeline. But then it’s ripped away. I might have expected to live several hundred years. But eternity is still far different from that.” A muscle worked in his jaw. “Especially the kind of eternity that I had to look forward to, for a long time.” Wyll looked at Astarion, into those red eyes that still held a trace of their old fear. “Not anymore. Your life is yours again.” Astarion’s expression wavered. Then he barked a laugh. “Well, until a devil skewers us, or some of you-know-who’s thugs do first.” Wyll smiled grimly. He couldn’t deny it: their lives were still very much on the line until some unknown point in the hazy future. “Though, you know,” Astarion said suddenly, voice quiet. “I know you’re not… overly fond of that body. But, if it will give you more years, then I like it all the more.” He glanced up at Wyll through work-loosened curls, a nervous twitch of a smile on his lips. “Apologies. You know how selfish I am.” Wyll gazed back, Hellish eyes soft. “Wyll?” His name sounded almost alien on Astarion’s tongue. In Astarion’s language he was ‘darling’—like so many others, but not. Because he was also ‘dear.’ ‘Dearest.’ It meant something. But not as much as ‘Wyll,’ whispered with the slightest crack.

[izartn]

LONG LIVE EVIL SPOILERS

So originally, we infer Key as the Emperor was in love with Lia. I can see how, because Key was truly just wishing for someone to be kind and good, loving, to him so he could be real again (for putting in into this book "to be love is to be real" philosophy) but the irony here is that I think we're given reason to think Lia is a lesbian. Or at least completely uninterested in exploring any desire for men given how she describes their looks (in contrast to Marius who I think we can all agree is in love with the Cobra/Eric and very repressed or likely demi).

Now given what Key did for his adoptive father, I'm not saying he wouldn't lay waste to enemies, look for a way to resurrect Lia etc if she was like, his bestie (aka an equally strong platonic love) instead of his lover but I think we can all agree the og book and Rea herself said this was romantic attachment.

With that as baseline and from what we get of Lia's true personality and interests in LLE is that:

1. She is ambitious and talented and wants to do good for the people of Eyam.

2. For that she needs to be queen and she's willing to do whatever the king wants of her (as long as it fits her "good and pure" image) in order to have that power.

3. Despite the above, she's repulsed by men's attraction to her. Confirmation that she slept with Emer (so we know she likes women) and forgave her for the betrayal (and in the og saved Emer life even after she betrayed her to Rahela) implying attachment and attraction. Right now I'm assuming she's lesbian, aka exclusively attracted to other woman. We don't have her PoV so it can't be certain like with Emer but all the signs point to that.

So I think that what happened on the og was that Lia saw that Key responded to her kindness, and she used that accordingly and treated him well because as her guard she needed his loyalty; that he seemed ready to kill when she was stuck having to be perfectly sweet and defenseless would been a plus. And I bet she told him of her plans to do good for the poor and unnobled, and backed that with actions. Only that worked a little too well, and with the extended timeline they had more time to know each other.

(extended timeline bc it seems like Key went down voluntarily the dread ravine like a year or two after our canon. I have to reread all that part bc the confusion with Octavian is not helping >< Rae does say in the ending she fucked Key over bc he was older and more secure on himself on the og and he wasnt sent down as a corpse after dying for her and being betrayed)

So I think Lia saw where the wind was blowing once Key came back with the crown, fulfilling the profecy and completely willing to marry and adore her. And she said yes to being his Empress, but she wasn't ever in love with him which makes the Emperor reaction to losing her all that more painful. Poor Lia whose body becames literally what she hates most, an object for the Emperor to fixate in his grief and obsession regardless of her true feelings or ambitions.

Right now I'm thinking that both Lia and Key avoided a hellish future when Rae was sent to lady Rahela's body and derailed destiny, even if as of LLE ending it seems grim.

[melis-writes]

Would you mind teaching me how to create gifs? ♥️ Like what program do you use, how to adjust their sharpness or things like that because your gifts are both beautiful and high-quality! I am still an amateur when it comes to editing. 😭

Hellloooo, sweet anon! Of course I can give a mini tutorial on that for you! :3 PHEW, honestly I haven't made GIFs in a fucking hot minute (since early May!). I put that on the back burner to focus on crunching away that writer's block. 🥲🙄 BUT... Making GIFs is like second nature to me because I've been at it for 2 years now, so allow me to tell you all I know! ❤️

I use Adobe Photoshop 2023! My GIFs are started, edited, cooked and finished all up in there. I know there's plenty of cheaper/free alternatives, but I've literally only ever used Photoshop so I have zero experience with those alternatives. 🥲

Remember, a huge part of how smooth and high quality your GIFs are gonna be is 95% where your GIF source is coming from. Stay away from 720p quality files! You want your GIF screencaps to be pulled from the most HD, crisp source material. At least 1080p unless you absolutely can't get your hands on anything else.

Once you pop open Photoshop, you want to follow...

Click "File"

Click "Scripts"

Click "Load files into stack..."

Now select all of your GIF screencaps. I would recommend a maximum of 85 screencaps otherwise your GIF will be longer/beefier and Tumblr for some reason hates GIFs over 10mb.

Wait for it to load! If your computer is older/slower, this might be a pain in the ass and will be 2x a pain in the ass if you have a high screencap amount.

CROPPING YOUR GIF: Select W x H x Resolution on the top bar.

It's honestly best to crop out as close to the edges as possible for the sharpest gifs. A general rule of thumb I like to follow for cropping/GIF sizing is:

One gif: 540 px x 400 px.

2 gifs side by side: 268 px each.

3 gifs side by side: 177 px, 178 px, 177 px.

Hit enter twice to crop!

Once your GIF screencaps are loaded in, click on "Create Video Timeline" on the "Timeline" option. If you can’t see the Timeline > Window > Timeline.

Click on the stack of 3 small lines on the far right of your Timeline and click "Convert to Video Timeline".

8. Click on those 3 lines again and click on "Make Frames From Layers".

9. Click on those 3 lines again and click "Select All Frames".

10. Click on the 3 lines again and click "Reverse Frames" otherwise your GIF will play backwards!!

11. Then you'll notice all your frames like this showing 0 seconds.

Now you get to decide how fast or slow you want your GIF to play, but we're not using whole numbers like 1 2 3 4. Those will make your GIFS incredibly choppy and slow. Instead, we use numbers like 0.01. I would recommend sticking to 0.05 or 0.06. The higher the number, the slower it is. 0.06 feels just right to me, but 0.05 is more like watching the clip live from the movie. I also use 0.07 and 0.08 when I try to GIF a screencap that's very short so unfortunately you have to slow it down otherwise your GIF zoom replays and if you're making a GIF set it'll look horrible next to the other ones going at normal speed LMAO. 0.08 is a good, sensual slow motion type of GIF. Definitely play around with the speeds until you feel comfortable with how your GIF plays out. Not all GIFs are made with equal speed!

For my example, I'm choosing 0.06.

12. Next, go to the far right where your screencaps are all layered and select every single one of them from top to bottom. Then, right click on any random layer until this menu pops up. Click "Convert to Smart Object".

13. On your Timeline, you'll get your smushed chunky little GIF looking like this.

Now with my extensive experience in navigating Tumblr's hellish rules for GIF size and keeping my GIFS clean, smooth and not too long or not too short, I can easily eyeball this every time but I can see why a beginner with Photoshop GIFs might struggle. You see how big that purple block, AKA your GIF, is? It basically needs to be half of that. The bigger that block, the longer/beefier the GIF.

Slowly drag your mouse over that purple block from start to finish to watch your GIF essentially manually play out in front of you. Then you can decide what parts to trim out using the scissors option.

You can then click anywhere on the Timeline to unselect those now 2 chunks of purple. Then you can select just the one piece you want to delete and either hit the backspace key on your keyboard (Like I do) or right click it and click delete.

14. Next, make sure you drag that little blue arrow thing that lets you comb through the GIF all the way back to the beginning. We're going to edit the actual GIF now and we want to edit the whole thing from start to finish, not have effects randomly playing right before the GIF ends or in the middle of it.

15. Time to sharpen up that GIF as the first part of our editing and make it pretty!!

Click on lower left convert button to Convert from Frame Animation to Video Timeline.

Select > All Layers.

CTRL + click on any Layer > Select Convert to Smart Object.

16. Filter > Sharpen > Smart Sharpen.

A little menu will pop up and you can select/input these defaults I use for my crispy GIFs:

Preset: CUSTOM.

Amount: 500%.

Radius: 0.4 PX.

Remove: GAUSSIAN BLUR.

Once more...

Filter > Sharpen > Smart Sharpen again only this time for the second Smart Sharpening, make the attributes:

Amount: 10%.

Radius: 10 PX.

17. Colouring the GIFs!

If you don’t have Adjustments tab > Window > Adjustments.

Adjustments > Exposure.

Another little menu will pop up, and you can use my defaults:

Preset: CUSTOM.

Exposure: 0.99

Offset: 0.0000

Gamma Correction: 1.00

Adjustments > Brightness/Contrast.

Brightness: *anything you want* Drag your mouse around to play with how you want this to look, there are no set numbers however you might want to note down the amount of brightness you put or took away if you want all of your GIFs to match this one!

Contrast: *anything you want*

18. Colouring GIFs when skintones or scenes are too orange/red:

Adjustments > Selective Color.

Colors: REDS.

Cyan: +6.

Magenta, Yellow, Black: 0.

The reds result in the orange color to begin with, but remember each color has its own counterpart. To decrease red tones, increase the cyans!

Example: Making a blue dress more vibrantly blue à Adjustments > Selective Color.

19. Adding text.

Remember, text layers should be on top of the rest of your layers, even if you have several pieces of text on the GIF. It doesn't matter in which order you stack text layers on top, they just have to be up there.

Click Text Tool on the lefthand bar and then click wherever you want to add the text.

To change text settings on a panel > Window > Character.

18-20 pt font is suitable for 540 px gifs! It's to use Calibri font in italics for text talking or Myriad Pro. Those are GIF text classics.

Right click on Text Layer > Blending Options > Stroke > + Stroke.

Size: 1 px.

Position: OUTSIDE.

Blend Mode: NORMAL.

Then hit OK.

Right click on Text Layer > Blending Options > Drop Shadow > Drop Shadow +.

Once again, right click on Text Layer > Blending Options > Stroke > + Stroke.

Blend Mode: NORMAL.

Angle: 30 > Use Global Light.

Distance: 1 px.

Spread: 17%.

Size: 3 px.

Noise: 0.

Layer Knocks Out Drop Shadow > OK.

To center and move the text, just press Y on your keyboard to use the move tool.

20. Finishing up the GIF!

File > Export > Save for Web (Legacy). Check bottom left corner of save screen for GIF size.

Do not go over 10MB EXACTLY! Otherwise Tumblr won't let you post it. You'll have to go back and shorten your GIF as a result, even if that means just splitting the clip off at the very end or very beginning.

Happy GIF making!! :3 ❤️❤️❤️

[doctortonytchopper]

Godddd I am so glad I went back and watched the punk hazard arc though.

Partly because WOW I am really blown away by how early and THOROUGHLY Oda started just absolutely laying in on the gear 5 reveal hints. Holy shit.

Also because it's so fuckin great seeing the introduction of Momo and Kin to the crew and Law now that I know the backstory that was revealed in Wano. Like imagine being them (I'm focusing on Kin's POV here to lessen confusion btw).

You've been living under a hellish dictatorship - a shitty piss bitch snake, and this murderous dragon Kaido who's as powerful and unkillable as a god. Your beloved lord fights them and loses despite being literally the strongest fighter you know, by like, several orders of magnitude. He is then brutally executed, and the fight you put up to save him isn't even a fight just a half-failure of a retreat (not everyone made it) and it all ends in utter despair. There is no hope of ever beating this villain.

In an act of pure desperation, as the only option available as an alternative to absolute slaughter, his wife shoots you like 20 years into the future. You find the dictatorship is thriving; your beloved home is a wasteland. There are some people on your side but pretty much everyone is enslaved, weakened by starvation, or dead. You've got like ten people on your side to fight an army, and a fucking invincible dragon.

You take to the sea to see if you can find two guys on an elephant who will probably help you. You are so desperate for any help. This is a last ditch effort. You keep up an air of determination but are convinced you will all die. This man is a monster, an immortal dragon from hell ruling with an iron fist of bloody claws; not even Oden could do more than put a single scratch on him. It was over so fast, Kaido's victory so absolute, his hold on your country so firm. MAYBE these two guys will help you, but it's still just a drop in the bucket. You don't think anyone will be swayed by any plea you could make; no one on this earth will be willing to help you.

You land on a strange island where you're all separated, one guy gets lost, your lord's son (now your new lord) gets abducted, and you try to follow the ship he's on.

[That's what we learned in Wano recently. But I had forgotten the next part since Punk Hazard was so mcfuckin long ago.]

You arrive at this insane island that's half on fire and half frozen and just start killing. Then a guy shows up and dices you like a fucking onion but you stay alive. That's fuckin weird! Then you run into a group of pirates who absolutely INSIST on helping you stay alive despite your vicious complaints and argument.

They help rescue the boy, your lord, and make him smile despite the devastation and utter hell you and he have been through this past two-ish months of your personal timeline. You're so relieved to see him again!! He looks super normal and like he's hungry but is having a normal samurai amount of reluctance to trust food from strangers. Nothing going on there, probably! He probably didn't eat one single thing while on this island, definitely no magic fruits, no sir!

Anyways you hitch a ride with these weird pirates on their weird boat and they feed and clothe you, and they're kinda crazy but they treat you very kindly, despite having no obligation to do so. Oh, they're going the same way as you? Back to that weird island where your friend got lost? How fortuitous! Truly it was fate to meet these strange people!

You wonder if we could ask them for help. Hm, probably not. They'd be great allies but who in the world would ever want to willingly put themselves in that much danger, just to help people they don't know??? Caesar Clown is one thing but this is Kaido, invincible dragon, king of the beasts, emperor of the sea!

But then before you can say anything about it you overhear that insane stretchy boy say: "yeah, so that island's our next stop. After that, our plan is we're gonna go kill Kaido!"

And then Momo gets so startled he turns into a dragon.

How do you cope

[extraordinarygrrls]

"Your face is... Fine? So you're not... You know." She did funny little gestures with her hands, imitating a zombie walk. "Maggots, body parts dropping off? I can sew if that's the case, I've had to for some restorations I've been doing. You can let go now." She retrieved her hands from his icey grip. When he asked all those questions, she paused in thought, for a moment she just seemed to focus on stitching him up, until he was no longer bleeding to death. She took a cloth, and cleaned his bare chest again. It was a lot of questions, part of her thought about which to answer. So she let him tell his story.

"You got a raw deal Bi-Han. In this timeline anyway. When I went to that first tournament, it's like a roulette spin in my head. How bad a person will you be? You could be worse, you know. You could've really had it coming but you were a pawn. Just like your killer. I'll tell you a story, one you should've been told a long time ago. And after that, I can tell you where we're at now."

Imogen began. She didn't leave out a detail, she told him everything, the hellish sorcerer who used his face to kill a man and all that he loves, how he used that victim to supposedly avenge the death of an innocent woman and child. The fact is, they'd both been tricked. Lives were thrown away, and brought back, she wished she had a chalkboard to better visualize the confusion. She concluded with who was dead, and who was alive... For now.

"I know, it's confusing, and if you need me to clarify certain points I'll try my best. But the past is the past, and this is the present. This present, in this timeline. I felt the shift as soon as the tornado spat you out like the earth moving beneath my feet. A line that splits into endless diverging paths. I'm not some hack fortune teller, I can just recognize the patterns, and make an educated guess... This is unprecedented, so the ball is in your court. I do have more good news, though!" She took his hands, held them tightly so he'd listen.

"Your brother is alive, he's in the temple, I'd wager, right now. Bringing the Lin Kuei into a new Era, he and Hanzo, Scorpion, called a truce, both seeking an end to a cycle of violence. He's alive, Bi-Han, and you can go home. You can be a family again, and your future is in your hands. One long, if extremely delicate conversation, and you can have a happy ending, a peaceful ending. All you have to do is just..." She held his hands a little tighter in desperation. "Take it. Please, take it."

"That part I noticed." It never fails to keep him unsettled. He doesn't know if his shadow has been wiped away or exists on its own terms, independent from his body. And if it does... what does his shadow do?

"And in the times when this does happen, what comes next?" Does he always lose himself to the shadow? Is he condemned to a lifetime of being at the whim of that shadow then? Or maybe that's an outlier too, and all roads lead to death. "My face is fine." He keeps Imogen's hands from reaching the mask.

"...When I came to, I awoke on Shang Tsung's island. Everything else on the island was dead. And from my fading memories, I remember the Lin Kuei being machines. I had assumed them all dead, or worse." And he had no bonds outside the Lin Kuei. "Does my killer still walk?"

[fanmoose12]

i was talking with my sister the other day about our snk veteran headcanons, and one of the most bittersweet ones we had went like this:

moblit survives bertholt's fatal transformation in shinganshina and remains as hange's executive officer after she becomes commander. however, doctors couldn't take out several pieces of shrapnel in his body after the explosion, which was why he was told "it was only a matter of time before the metal shards damage his vital organs" (honestly we don't even know if that's scientifically possible HAHAHA but yeah for the sake of the hc, that's what happened lol). following the timeline, he would then live until the rumbling, and moments after hange stops armin and reiner's plans to sacrifice themselves, moblit steps in, saying "i'm going to die sooner or later anyways, i can almost feel the shrapnel tear me from the inside out. i don't want to die a meaningless death, so please let me make my life worth it, hange-san." trying to hold tears back, hange puts her fist on moblit's chest and says "devote your heart" (just like what levi did to her in the manga), mirroring erwin. aaaaand that's how hange manages to live to fight alongside levi and the alliance :"D now let's pretend we're not sobbing XD

oh my god, anon, i think my heart had just broken😭😭😭

but what if moblit survived the shiganshina and remained by hange's side throughout these hellish four years? can you imagine how happy moblit would be upon seeing hange exploring the world? knowing that she dreamed about it for the longest time? ohhh, and moblit befriending onyakopon! they go out for drinks every chance they get and gush over hans😩😩😩 also moblit forgetting himself and calling hange 'buntaicho' because he's so used to it? he gets so embarrassed when someone corrects him, but hange doesn't even notice his mistake. on the contrary, it feels strange when moblit addresses her by the right title

[lukasthemedic]

Property Brothers Fic

Original posting date - 2016 A03 works

Renovation Hell

Chapter 1

Jonathan gently rubs his fingers against his temples, leaning down on the counter above his barely touched chicken and fruit salad. His hands and arms are covered in particles from this current reno, his legs ache to the point he can barely stand it. Actually, all of him aches. He's been working so hard, so many late nights into early mornings. The unbelievable requests of these homeowners, more additions the further into the already crunched timeline they gave him. Barking orders, stalling the installation of most of the lower level of the house still. He is generally pretty calm, easy going. But he can barely continue to take the filming with this couple.

Jonathan's phone rings, a vivid reminder that he isn't off work, even when he is. "Hey, this is Jonathan." He says as professionally as he can manage into the speaker, keeping one hand leaning against his now throbbing head. He already knows who it is before he even gets an answer back on the staticky other end. "Yeah, I know it looks like it's not coming together as quickly as you had wanted it, but I can assure you--" He's cut off by more hasty, obnoxious comments being spewed from the other line of the husband and wife duo.

The door creaks open quickly and Drew is careful to shut it quietly, with ease. He knows how difficult this renovation has been on Jonathan, how much work he has had to put into it. How much work it has been on all of them, the whole crew.

"I understand, and I know that you'll be the ones living in the house, seeing it for the rest of your lives. But I can assure you, I am going to make the deadline and ensure all of your requests have been met. How about I bring over some new options for the kitchen backsplash and countertops tomorrow morning and you can meet me there and take a look." He blankly explains, as calmly as possible. He gently taps his fingers against his fork, regretting the portion of his salad he already consumed. The insults and stabbing remarks about his work make his stomach turn. He's hates this aspect of trying to be a helpful person to everyone. He should have known, this evening like all the rest, wouldn't come without an interrupting, hellish phone call.

Drew takes a sharp, shaky breathe and makes his way towards his twin, careful to keep himself quiet when he grabs wine glasses and pours them both extremely large servings, sitting down across from Jonathan at the kitchen bar.

Jonathan's face turns a deep scarlet, rolling his eyes as he continues to keep himself from snapping under more demands of the clients on the other end. His palms are sweaty, and Drew can tell he is getting more and more frustrated by the way that his brothers hand tenses up under his when he tries to slide it over his while he taps it against his fork, silently pleading with him to keep his cool.

"Yes, I completely understand. I'll be there as early as you need me to get my work out of the way. I'm sorry there have been so many inconvenient steps for you. I appreciate the opportunity to be able to work with you on your dream home."

"Yeah, dream home is an extremely shit description for having to work with your incompetent crew. I can't believe we have to deal with all of this bullshit. You better be there in the morning when I get there!" Drew hears the guy on the other end of the line yelling at his brother, putting no ease into the way he slams into Jonathan's. Drew is thankful when the guy decides to hang up on him, abruptly ending the phone call, allowing Jonathan to put his phone down and rest his hands against his temples again.

"Hey, don't listen to that." Drew quietly offers to his brother, pushing the drink closer to him. "You know you're the best. They always just get a little frustrated when they can't see the bigger picture until it's finished."

"Yeah, a little." Jonathan scoffs, pushing the wine glass away from him. "I'm not in the mood."

Jonathan finally looks up, Drew melts in his deep green eyes glaring across the room. Drew can tell he is hurt, knowing he is looking at everything around them, avoiding the contact of his own eyes.

Jonathan downs the glass of wine he slid across from himself earlier and stands up, cleaning off his plate and putting it away.

Drew carefully watches him, finally seeing his brother relax a little, and hopes that the rest of the evening can be less tense. Jonathan grabs a bottle of whiskey from their bar and downs a good amount, nearly finishing off what they have left of it. "Do you remember what you said in that interview yesterday." Jonathan asks his brother, not allowing it as a question, rather as a cold statement. He puts the whiskey back, grabbing a bottle of water from the fridge and facing back to stand with his brother, now face to face with him.

"What do you mean?" Drew sighs, trying to plead with his twin to turn his mood around, not wanting to focus on anything else that could come between them at this point.

Jonathan scoffs, " you don't remember when you gave a tour of the house and told the reporter about how we sleep in separate rooms. How we're not even allowed to come in one another's." Jonathan says coldly, looking back at Drew with daggers in his warm eyes. Drew can see the hurt and confusion on his brothers face, realising just how much he's already had to deal with today, and then bring this back up.

"Jonathan, you know I didn't mean that. She was suspicious. I had to redirect her, you know how much all of this means, for our personal life to stay private and separate from our shows." Drew takes a step closer to his brother, trying to grab for his hips and slide him closer in. "I can only imagine what will be said at the Google interview this weekend for our book." He whispers into Jonathan's ear. "Fanfiction, if we're lucky." He gently kisses his jawline and laughs into his neck.

The master bed room wasn't shown in the tour of their house. In fact, the two rooms that were staged as their own are two of the guests rooms. They have a lot of traffic during shows that are shot in the area, generally having enough rooms in the house and space for the crew to stay, either with them or their parents.

"I'm sorry I'm snapping at you. This renovation is just really difficult. I'm so tired of everyone else feeling like they're the contractors here and not me. Telling me how to do my job, all the extra steps." Jonathan sighs, letting Drew pull him closer. "I missed you today. I didn't see you." He mumbles, hoping Drew will want to stay up for awhile and relax with him even though they have a long day of shooting tomorrow. Two shows, and an interview in the evening. Plus they have an early flight at the end of the week for their Google interviews, which means nights spent in uncomfortable hotel rooms and very little sleep, if any. They always get things booked so tight together when they have to leave the state, so they can accomplish so much in such a little time.

Drew leans in, pulling him as close as their bodies will allow, sculpting to one another. He runs his hands down the sides of his brothers body and bites on his lip, leaving Jonathan shivering with the release of finally having his twin there with him.

Jonathan pulls Drew closer, almost falling into him, completely exhausted and enveloped into his brothers arms, "let's go take a shower and find something to watch." Drew pulls Jonathan's chin up to plant another quick kiss on his lips, pulling his brother along with him up the stairs to the bathroom.

Every stair is another painful reminder to Jonathan that he has so much to finish tomorrow and each step he takes towards the bathroom puts another step in his head about the project. "That guy is such an asshole." He mutters, following suit of his brother towards the bathroom at the end of the hall.

"I know, but don't let it bother you. Soon this reno will be over and we will be on to bigger and better things. Surely with nicer people." He calmly says, hopeful that he is right, because he knows that Jonathan can't take much more. He always has the bulk of the work, and the weight of the projects on him. No wonder he is always at his end.

Jonathan sits on the edge of the bed, plopping his head back and resting his arms under his neck. He could fall asleep so easily right now if he wanted to. But he really needs to stay up and work on some designs for the house, some of the "finishing touches" that the couple has emailed him, adding to the list. "Are you good?" Drew questions, placing an uneasy hand on his brothers thigh, leaning down, towering over his face.

"Yeah." Jonathan sighs. "I just have so much to catch up on now. I'll have to stay up all night toying with these new designs and have to be there really early in the morning. I'm just worn out. I do this for a living. I shouldn't feel this way." He mumbles, arching his back and tossing his hands over his eyes, shielding them from his brothers wondering looks.

Jonathan is a little bit tipsy from the drinks he had earlier, but not enough to feel any better about the situation.

He feels his brothers warm hands travel closer into his thighs, hearing the bed creak as he uses it to get on his knees and feels him rest his head between his legs, face planted in the comforter. "This reno sucks." Drew mumbles, muffled by the bed. He takes a deep breath and brings his head back up to rest on his twins warm legs

Chapter 2

"I know just what you need." Drew says with a sly smirk on his face, peering up at his twin from between his thighs, eyes traveling up his chest. Drew pulls himself up to hover over his brother and adjusts his legs on either side of his twin's hips, gazing down at him. "How bad do you want me?" He mercilessly grins, grabbing a fistful of Jonathan's drywall covered flannel, drawing his lips closer to his face.

Jonathan can't help but melt under the dark stare that Drew is giving him, peering down, grasping his shirt so tightly that his knuckles are beginning to turn white. Just when Jonathan thought that this day was a definite drag down. He knows his brother is always going to be there for him, in more ways than he ever imagined. "Bad, please." Jonathan whines from under his grasp, from the weight of his body grinding down on him. He can't help it when Drew plays him like this, because his brother knows that when he can't have what he wants, he desires it more. Drew loves making his brother beg for him, and Jonathan grows evermore excitedly every time he has to wait for what is coming. "Please, Drew. I want you so ba-" Jonathan is cut off from his twin's mouth, grabbing down and biting hard on his lip, moaning into his brother's mouth. He runs his mouth, slowly along his lips, giving deep tender kisses, careful to keep watching. He loves when Jonathan squirms under him from his touch, head arching back against the bed, eyes closed with anticipation building. "God, yes. Mhmm." Jonathan groans, his brother tracing his lips down his cheek, his jawline. He runs his hands down his sides, pulling his shirt up to expose his bare skin. Jonathan's muscles ache even more from the cool air hitting his exhausted body and he grinds his teeth together, letting out a slow roll of breath between his locked jaws. "Give it to me, Drew." He begs as his brother continues to run his hands and mouth over his chest, looking up to meet his brother's glare only for a second before he continues to trail his mouth down his stomach to his jeans.

"You have to be patient, haven't you learned anything?" Drew chuckles, reaching to unbutton his jeans and slide them carefully down to his ankles, so Jonathan can successfully kick them off onto the floor where his wrinkled and dirty shirt is already piled and waiting. Jonathan knows that Drew will wash him carefully and slowly in the shower, cuddle with him in bed and watch Chopped, or something ridiculous that he loves watching and Drew can't stand, just to make him happy. He knows that even after he's asleep and warm and content, that Drew will grab all of his dirty clothes and wash them before coming to bed. He knows that he will go back and clean up the mess in the kitchen that Jonathan makes when he's so exhausted from coming home and working that all he can think about is something quick enough and a drink to dull the previous hours pain so that he can crawl into bed and manage to get an hour or two of sleep before he hauls back to the renovation site. Jonathan knows that his brother will do this for him, because he loves him.

So, Jonathan is patient, with his brother's touch and his games. Because he knows how Drew enjoys their evenings together. It is rare when they have time together during renovations, shows, flights, etc. He knows that being at home with his twin's touch and his full attention is something he should be patient with. He knows that this game of head now will follow with a blissful shower. That Drew will come back upstairs after cleaning and making some late business calls to producers and emails to interviews and hopeful homebuyers for the show, to cuddle into his brother's warmth while he sleeps and carefully weave himself into his body, trying to wake him and get his attention. That he will want to make him wake up, aroused, and begging to have sex from the touch of Drew. That he will fall back asleep in the arms of his finally equally exhausted brother and they will sleep until the morning draws them up for a quick shower before being dragged back into the hell of this renovation. Jonathan remembers how much he dreads going to the site in the morning and his face becomes less relaxed and content with his brother's touch and he feels Drew stop moving over him.

"I know that look." Drew sighs, pulling himself back up to look into Jonathan's eyes. Drew's eyebrows furrow and he leans down closer to his brother so their mouths are almost touching, Jonathan works at cramming the thoughts back because he hates to think of anything else besides Drew when he is this intimate with him. "Just relax." Drew mumbles, placing one quick sloppy kiss on his twin's lips and travels back down to his briefs. Drew pulls at the tight band with his teeth, grabbing Jonathan's hard cock over the fabric separating them from touching. Drew moans, a deep and intense feeling of pleasure washes over him as he feels his brother throb under his grip. "Please, touch me. I want more." Jonathan begs, grabbing for his underwear. He feels his hand restrained to his side, Drew grinning down at him. "You don't get to decide when it's time. Don't threaten me to make you wait longer." He chuckles, releasing his brothers hand, and going back to his work. He kisses Jonathan over the fabric and shivers, hearing the moans work out from his brother's mouth. Deep growls starting at the back of his throat and escaping every time Drew breathes more hot air onto Jonathan's hard cock. He can barely contain himself any longer, and Drew must know that he is getting more and more restless, because he swiftly pulls his briefs off and tosses them down into the pile with the rest of the clothes.

"I've been waiting all day for you." Drew smirks, slowly drawing his eyes up to meet his brother's desperate stare. He gently kisses his twin on either side of his warm thighs, gently grabbing his balls with one cupped hand, and holding the other under his thigh, careful to be too rough. He knows that Jonathan likes it when he's rough, but after today he just wants to give him something to relax to. Drew finally slides his brother's twitching hot cock in his mouth, already feeling the precum on his tongue as he lets it dance against his brother's skin. He gently slides his fingers against Jonathan's thigh and back to his ass, feeling him arch against his touch, watching his body beg for more. He carefully inserts a finger into him, running his mouth hot down the full length of his cock over and over, making sure Jonathan is getting what he wants. He works his finger against his brother's grinding, begging and ready for more. "God, fuck, please. Yes, Drew, yes." Jonathan is barely able to get the words out of his mouth at the expense of the work his brother's mouth is doing on him. Jonathan places his hands in either side of Drew's head and pushes him downwards onto himself more. Drew loves it when Jonathan has to force him to be more rough. He knows that his brother can barely contain himself without his touch. Drew adds a second finger, slipping his mouth off of his cock and biting down on his thigh. Drew can feel his own skin brushing up tight against his slacks, his cock throbbing so hard he can barely keep the pulsing in his head drowned out, making his eyes weak and his body hungry for more.

Drew carefully laughs, nervously, looking up at his brother. He keeps his hands moving so that his fingers are in sync with Jonathan's grinding body. "I can't wait. I was going to wait, but I can't do it." Drew exclaims, pulling his fingers out from his prepared twin. He is met with the same running thoughts from his brother, when Jonathan quickly leans up, unbuttoning the dress shirt his brother is in, throwing tie, shirt and undershirt all on the floor as hastily as he can. "If you're too tired, we can wait. I don't have to." Drew suggests, facing his brother.

"Shut up." Jonathan rolls his eyes, pulling Drew closer in for a kiss. "I'm never too tired for my time with you." He mumbles into his mouth, grabbing for his slacks and popping the button undone and quickly sliding them off. Drew topples over his brother again, grinding his briefs against Jonathan's hot bare skin, his cock begging to release from all the pressure and teasing. Drew can't say he already doesn't feel the same tension in his own body.

Drew quickly pulls off his own briefs, leaning down for one more quick kiss on Jonathan's neck, hot air makes Jonathan shiver again against his brothers touch. "I love you so much. You know that right." Jonathan's face becomes a deep red, shying away from his brothers fleeting glance as he waits for his comment. Drew pulls Jonathan's face up to look at his by the chin, cupping his jaw. "It's okay." Drew smiles, placing another kiss on his lips. Drew knows how Jonathan feels about talking about love with his brother. He knows that he loves him just as much, but he's always so hesitant to say it when they're having sex. He always assumed that it's connected to the act and not his real emotions, so most of the time Drew just assumed he knows he's being honest and takes the fact alone that he knows Jonathan loves him even if he doesn't say it back often during these times. Jonathan is much more reserved about showing his emotions, especially after how rough it was for Jonathan in his childhood. He's never came right out and said it, but Drew knows. Regardless, Drew can feel his brothers love radiate from him, and that's enough.

"Spit." Drew demands, holding his hand out for Jonathan to take, and he does as he's told. Drew grabs his hard, throbbing cock, running his hand with Jonathan's saliva down it and gently thrusts into Jonathan. "Goddamnit, you feel so fucking good." Jonathan groans, pumping his body to meet the rhythm of his twin, begging for more. Drew continues to thrust harder and harder as Jonathan moans with pleasure while he grinds his body back against Drew's. Drew slides his free hand that isn't helping to balance between his brothers legs and smoothly runs his hand against Jonathan's hard needy cock. He can feel the anticipation building, knowing that Jonathan has had so much foreplay that he can barely contain himself. Drew's thrusting with his hand sliding against Jonathan won't let the him last much longer under the pressure. Drew doesn't think he can last much longer himself at how tight and perfect Jonathan feels under him.

"God Drew, harder, please. Make me come, I'm so close." Jonathan pants, his brother sliding his hand against his shaft quicker and quicker, pounding harder into him. His own eyes are becoming steadily more heavier with the weight of his own orgasm quick approaching. "Fuck Drew, I'm gonna come, I'm coming." Jonathan grabs the comforter around him, gripping fists of whatever he can reach. He throws his head back, spilling warm all down his brothers quick moving hand, down onto his stomach. Drew can barely continue to thrust after watching the pleasure he entertained on his brother, working in harder and harder each time he slams into Jonathan. "Fuck, fuck, Jonathan." He moans, slamming into him a final time, thighs shaking hard from the instant release he feels, soaking up the bliss from the orgasm. Drew slowly pulls out from his brother and lazily hovers over him, licking what Jonathan left for him on his stomach snd twitching cock. "You're always so good." Drew exclaims, sheepishly biting down on his lip, giving his brother a look of lust and hunger. Jonathan pulls his brother down for a sloppy, exhausted kiss before Drew slides off the side of the bed and drags Jonathan behind him towards the shower.

Jonathan is so exhausted, he could fall asleep right now, but Drew turns the steaming water on and Jonathan is instantly enveloped with the warm droplets of water hitting him as his brother adjusts the shower temperature just right. "Come on, I'll wash you." Drew motions for his twin to step into the shower, under the hot stream of water and Jonathan is instantly in heaven. He keeps his eyes closed and focuses on staying awake as Drew hums, massaging shampoo and working it into his hair. He is concerned when Drew stops, but is again relieved when he runs the sponge all over his body with soap, careful to relax every sore muscle that had to deal with the crazy couple on the renovation today.

After Drew finishes washing Jonathan off, he washes himself and dries them both off, padding warm and clean feet towards the bedroom again so he can find them something comfortable to get into. Though they haven't ever discussed it, neither one of them is particular to sleeping without clothes on, even together. Drew slides on some warm flannel sleeping pants and a shirt and hands Jonathan some shorts and a t-shirt as well to throw on while Drew searches the channels to find the chopped marathon Jonathan is so obsessed with every night they get together. Drew is the cold blooded one, it seems, and Jonathan is always so hot when he sleeps, so he can barely keep shorts on, let alone flannel pants to keep him warmer. Drew secretly thinks that Jonathan assumes he will pick up more recipes to make for him, since Drew is the cook of the two, and thinks about teasing him about it, but doesn't. He sees how's relaxed and calm Jonathan finally is, heading towards the bed to greet Drew who has successful found the right channel and pulled back the comforter enough for Jonathan to cuddle up close to him.

Jonathan snuggles up next to his brother, Drew throwing an arm over him. He knows he should be working on the stuff he needs to take to the site tomorrow, but he just wants to relax and enjoy his brother's presence while he falls asleep. He knows that Drew will get up after he falls asleep and work on some stuff for him while he's checking emails and whatnot. Drew is always there to catch the remainder of what Jonathan doesn't get done in a day, and he is so thankful that his brother is there for him when he can't be there for himself. Jonathan tries to stay awake while they're starting the dessert round on this episode, because he doesn't think he has seen it before, but Drew's hand rubbing circles in his hair softly is becoming too much to keep his heavy eyes open. "I do love you, Drew. More than you could ever imagine." Jonathan mumbles into his brother's side, quickly drifting off between powdered sugar, raw shrimp, and the quiet chuckle of his brother as he realizes that he was finally answering him back from earlier. And no; Drew thinks, as he begins to open his laptop to work on emailing, you don't love me more than I could ever imagine, because my love for you is unmeasurable.

[simplyveebs]

I'm so fucking sick of this timeline. We're all living in a hellish simulation to test the capabilities of human suffering and you can't convince me otherwise.

[marvel-lous-things]

shout-out to @hufflepuffpride210 for enabling me you're a real one

anyway. This post. This goddamn Bullpiss infused crapload of a meme. This. This travesty. This headache inducing mistake.

It's been making the rounds all over the goddamn internet for some goddamn reason and I'm sure you've all seen it because NOBODY will SHUT THE FUCK UP ABOUT IT

And I'm going to settle this Once and for All because je suis TIRED.

"So, what's the answer, Sam?" I hear absolutely nobody ask,

"is it 16? Is it 1? Does it even matter?"

The answer is: yes, also yes, and yeah apparently it does because we're living in the worst fucking timeline after all how bout that.

"How can both 16 and 1 be the answer?" I hear you sneer. Be quiet, clown, and let me explain

There's two approaches to solving this problem (as there is to every fucking problem in this hellish state of existence): BODMAS and PEMDAS

"WHAT'S BODMAS?" Says the voice in your head. The voice in your head is a dumb bitch and needs to go outside more.

But, anyway, I'm here to impart education and not to rage about the general incompetence of the human race. So, here-

1. BODMAS

B rackets

O f

D ivision

M ultiplication

A ddition

S ubtraction

And the there's-

2. PEMDAS

P arentheses

E xponents

M ultiplication

D ivision

A ddition

S ubtraction

Some of us were taught the first. Some of us were taught the second. And, as Robert Frost would say, with a cigar in his mouth and regret in his eyes, "that has made all the difference"

I'm sure everyone sees where this is going (or I hope you do) but allow me to explain fURTHER-

Let's take the BODMAS approach, which I and MILLIONS of others were taught in 7th grade (when one direction was all the rage and bad grades meant less than 90%)

So here we've got-

8÷2(2+2)

8÷2(4) [brackets first]

(8/2)(4) [Division BEFORE multiplication- BODMAS]

4×4 [multiplication AFTER division]

=16

So. There's 16. That's how you fucking get sixteen. One-six. Not by failing math or forgetting what you learned, but by APPLYING A DIFFERENT GODDAMNED APPROACH JESUS FUCKING CHRIST BROADEN YOUR HORIZONS I'M BEGGING YOU.

And now for your precious little stupid ass PEMDAS because I strive for equality, irrespective of my stance on 7th grade math questions-

8÷2(2+2)

8÷2(4) [parentheses are solved FIRST]

8÷8 [multiplication comes BEFORE division- PEMDAS]

=1

And there's your goddamn answer. Your numero uno. Your pride and joy. Fuck you and your fucking one. I hope you have a nice goddamned day ahead.

This has been a free lesson in math around the world

some of you haven't ever heard of BODMAS somehow and it really fucking shows