#hell: if someone who worked on the manga told me he had a secret d*ck tat I would probably believe them.

[mechazushi]

Kaiju Number 8 Incorrect Quotes <take 6>

*depressed Iharu sitting on a bench* *Aoi and Haruichi come over and sit on either side of him* *Few minutes of silence later* Haruichi: Wah nee nah nu nee nu nee nu Wah nee nah nu nee nu nee nu- Aoi: *Starts thumping out the beat on the wall behind them* Iharu: . . . Iharu: SHE'S GOT A SMILE THAT SEEMS TO ME, REMINDS ME OF CHILDHOOD MEMORIES-!

[laceymorganwrites]

birthday fic <33

A/N: this is a birthday fic for lovely @miyaniacs!! I hope you have a wonderful day today and are celebrated just like you deserve!

Word count: 1,970

Pairings: Gojo x Bea, Getou x me (I couldn´t help myself ehehhe), no tags since it´s just for you anyway <33

Another A/N: okay ever since we had that talk about Gojo being an embarrassing boyfriend and double dates...I just HAD to (tho I wish I could´ve executed those ideas better also the ending sucked cause I literally had no idea how to end it, BUT I still hope you can somewhat enjoy it <3333)

YOU´RE AMAZING; THANKS FOR BEING MY FRIEND; I CAN´T WAIT TO MEET YOU!!!

It was still early, the sun just rose, painting the sky a beautiful rose gold.

Getou was already up, he enjoyed the silence of the early morning.

Everything seemed to be at peace in those moments, no matter how little they lasted.

It didn´t matter to him anymore, he was at ease with Ace next to him.

His boyfriend´s presence calmed him down immediately and somehow the small boy always knew how to put a smile on his face.

They were like two popcorn kernels in a pot, nobody ever had any expectations for them but still they managed to exceed them, working harder than most people would recognize.

Working on yourself was always harder than it should be, but it was work that needed to be done.

Gojo was really proud of him for doing so, being afraid of what would happen to his friend if he didn´t.

Ace arrived at just the right time to give him the light he wanted to shut out of his life so bad.

Getou was glad he didn´t.

He found his missing puzzle piece and he´d never let it go, he had sworn to protect him at all costs.

The man stretched a bit before slowly getting up, careful not to wake the sleeping figure next to him.

It was routine at this point. But he liked it. Both men needed structure and routines in their life to be able to function. Even though they got better at being spontaneous, it was still hard to do overall.

Getou and Ace had the same sleeping pattern, preferring to go to sleep early and having the most energy in the early afternoon.

They also both had trouble sleeping, always waking up after a few hours and being unable to go back to sleep. It was easier now though, it was nice to know that there were always arms ready to hold. It was nice having someone there when you went to sleep and woke back up, it was the warm touch that was missing in both lives.

Getou prepared some coffee for himself and already cooked some breakfast. Meanwhile he was updating their grocery list and checking if anything else needed to be done.

Today was a big day, it was Bea´s birthday and Ace was beyond excited. It had been a while since they had last seen her and Gojo.

To be fair, Getou always tried to avoid double dates since Gojo could be quite exhausting.

After a while Ace slowly woke up, groggily sitting up in bed and yawning and stretching thoroughly.

“Good morning, love” he smiled from the kitchen counter as Ace slowly dragged himself to sit next to him, laying his head on his shoulder. “Morning, baby” he mumbled tiredly and slowly started eating his breakfast and drinking his tea.

Getou had helped him wrap his presents for Bea just yesterday since Ace´s wrapping skills were quite underwhelming to say the least.

The two talked for a bit and once they finished eating, they started cleaning the apartment, getting groceries and everything else they needed.

After a while they were done and just enjoyed the last few quiet minutes before the other couple would arrive.

The morning routine in the Gojo residence looked quite differently.

First of all, Gojo didn´t have a residence, he just liked calling his apartment that since there would be no way in hell a sorcerer of his caliber would live in an apartment building with others, normal citizens nonetheless.

However sorcerers didn´t get paid that well, no matter whether or not they had the six eyes. Gojo always had the little conspiracy that the elders cut his paycheck extra short.

And somehow he got off on it, he´d prove them all wrong anyway. He didn´t need them, he didn´t need anyone.

Only that the last one was a blatant lie.

He didn´t know he needed anyone until Bea came into his life.

She was quite something, so beautiful, made him laugh like no one else ever did. With her he didn´t have to hide anything, he could be himself.

And more than that: he could finally find out who that even was, he had time to think about those things now and not push everything aside like he did usually.

No, he wasn´t perfect like everyone thought, like he told everyone so that they´d leave him alone.

He was just a man.

A damn lucky one at that, being able to have her by his side.

Bea was new to the sorcerer world, but she had great potential, he took it upon himself to train her, though it really was just an excuse to get to know her.

She had her own issues, he could tell. But he wasn´t an asshole to pry on them.

Instead he asked her out immediately, because yes, he was one to rush things, following his heart.

To this day he asked himself why she said yes.

Somehow they got along incredibly well, so well in fact that he got to take her home.

Gojo never believed in falling in love but she just made it way too easy.

But it scared him, he never had been in love, not this way at least, never truly.

It was always a game to him, someone he´d hook up with and then never see again.

It was fun while it lasted and then left a burning, aching hole inside his heart that was just too sad to look at so he drowned himself in alcohol and did it all over again.

Bea was the first one he went on multiple dates with, the first one he tried to be a decent human being with.

Since both didn´t want a relationship in the beginning, both being too scared of rejection and hurting, they didn´t put a label on it.

They just fucked, went out, sometimes she stayed over at his place, that was nice. And sometimes she´d even laugh at his dumb jokes, that was even nicer.

Nice wasn´t the word to describe her though.

It was so much more than that, an incredible kindness and warmth that he only felt with her.

She made him feel special in a different way than all the others did and for the first time in his life he believed it.

Gojo wanted to make her feel the same way too and so he tried really hard, he tried to come up with exciting date ideas, take her to places she´s never seen before and show off like he always did.

But he always had this hopeful look in his eyes that she really saw what cool thing he did (which in reality was just dumb, but in his world it was cool).

And she gave him compliments.

Damn, did he love them.

He knew he was somewhat attractive but despite showing off he never really paid much mind to it.

But when the two of them were alone in bed, her tracing her fingers all over his body, those irresistible eyes looking down on him, that damn smile as she told him: “You´re so fucking beautiful, do you even know that?”.

“Right back at you” he´d grin, averting all of his attention to her so she wouldn´t comment on the fact that he was blushing.

They had quite the different relationship (once they finally admitted their feelings and called it that, so far everything went more than just perfect) than Getou and Ace, theirs was more fun, Gojo said.

Bea and Gojo always had the most fun, they always teased each other and could laugh a lot, as well as tell each other their darkest secrets without being judged.

“This isn´t a competition, you know?” Getou commented on that, but Gojo just grinned, to him it always was. And he always won.

He thought that Getou should be more grateful, after all he hooked him up with his boyfriend.

Gojo didn´t like Ace. He was so quiet. He didn´t like that about people.

However when Bea was around it was like he bloomed, suddenly he wouldn´t stop talking.

And that was annoying too.

Which is why Gojo always wanted to avoid meeting him.

But for her birthday he´d try to get along with him. For her.

The two of them had been on a mission yesterday and slept in now since they got home pretty late.

They somehow always woke up at the same time though which was more than just convenient. Gojo was mesmerized at how cute and pretty she looked even in the morning, he himself of course always looked dashing.

“Good morning, birthday bunny” he grinned, kissing Bea lazily but still taking her breath away.

“Why bunny?” she laughed, Gojo would always give her some cute nicknames that were quite random at times, but she never got used to it.

It was weird, having this affection without any intentions, just because he loved her.

“It fit” he grinned, he would embarrass himself in front of her a thousand times if it meant seeing her smile for only one instance.

She shook her head giggling and buried her head in his chest, his warmth was so comforting to her, she never wanted to get up.

“By the way… wanna have your first present?” he smirked, hands wandering down to her hips as he leaned closer to her to give her some neck kisses.

“Let´s wake up the neighbors, shall we?” he husked.

Meanwhile Ace was checking if the cake was already cold enough to decorate, which to his luck it was.

Ever since meeting Getou he baked more, they also baked together a lot.

Decorating wasn´t his forte, but Getou helped with that, he had steady hands and a good eye for those things.

“You know, wrapping a plushie isn´t as easy as I thought it would be” he laughed slightly. Ace loved his laugh, he was one of the few people who ever heard the real one.

“I´m sure you did great” he grinned and stood on his tiptoes to give him a quick peck.

Indeed the presents looked amazing, Getou even put on a little bow on the wrapping paper. Ace got Bea some manga volumes, a plushie and some other merch he hoped she´d like.

Now it was time to wait.

An hour later the other couple finally arrived.

“Sorry we´re late, we had important adult stuff to do, you two wouldn´t understand” Gojo announced grinning as he entered your apartment.

“Satoru! Shut up” Bea blushed and playfully punched his shoulder.

Getou just sighed and shook his head, why was he like this?

“Happy birthday, Bea!” Ace rapidly stood up from the couch and greeted her with a hug.

He gave her her presents and they talked about all sorts of things while their partners were in the kitchen to slice the cake and prepare the plates.

“I don´t want to hear it” Getou sighed. “Huh? I haven´t even said anything!” Gojo pouted, albeit feeling caught. Of course he was going to taunt his friend about his relationship, he of course never spared enough details to hurt anymore, but just enough to make everyone just a tad bit uncomfortable with embarrassment.

He couldn´t help himself, he had the best girlfriend in the world and everyone should know it.

The rest of the day wasn´t anything special, after all in the current situation you couldn´t do much.

But still, it was nice to meet up with friends, eat cake and have nice conversations.

They all ended up on the couch watching some movies and being too full to order proper takeout.

Though that was the fun in it, Bea was happy, she wasn´t alone like Ace feared, that was all that mattered.

He hoped her next birthday would be more eventful.

[munchies-for-thought]

The reason your favorite character is flawed and how it changed how I saw my life

Jun 18, 2020

Context: I’m a huge fan of the anime “JoJo’s Bizarre Adventure”. (Reading Part 6 pls don’t spoil kthx bai). Don’t worry. You don’t even have to know about anime to get my message. It’s just the example closest to me.

The revelation behind each flaw

Rohan Kishibe is a character that is incredibly talented as a manga artist. He is so obsessed in his craft that he goes to terrifying and ethically questionable extents to get inspiration for his stories. Sometimes a villain, sometimes a hero. His art is everything for him. Well worth risking his or someone else’s life. He is generally a good guy, and wishes good upon the world. He just won’t go out of his way to make it happen. He is also defeated almost immediately after we meet him.

Rohan Kishibe is indeed one of my favorite characters of all times for a multitude of reasons, yet when describing him, he clearly is a flawed character. Yet this is NOT about him. While you read this blog, please think on the coolest fictional character you can think of. Do you have one in mind? Can you answer the following about your favorite character?

Has your favorite character failed?

Has he been hurt badly?

Are some things out of his control?

Do most people in his world generally understand the struggle they go through?

You’ll see when comparing with friends that we mostly agree on these answers even when thinking on different characters. The interesting truth lies in the common factor behind these answers, and learning a bit from the power of good storytelling.

One of the most precious things that I have gained from playing videogames, watching anime and playing Dungeons & Dragons all my life, is the first-hand knowledge of the power of a good story. Although it is in the HOW you make a good story, where I found this revelation that helped me so much.

What I am trying to say might be simple and even obvious when read, but not truly understood. If you bear with me a bit longer, I will attempt not to say, but to explain. I’ll show you the building blocks of how I learned so you truly understand as I did.

Dungeon and Dragons’ Character Backgrounds

The first time I made a new character in Dungeons and Dragons (Drow Elf Bard btw) I was blown away when I found out that whereas you get to pick from options that greatly impact your likelihood of winning, you also had to pick background and personality options that held no significant impact on your success.

You could choose to be a triumphant noble, a devote acolyte, a successful guild merchant or even a lying charlatan. Hell, if you wanted to you could even pick an orphan who had lost it all in the edgiest way known to man!

The book was also quite good at giving you specific quirks that brought that character to life. All of this happened because D&D is focused on group storytelling. Everyone wants your character to be interesting so their adventure gets 10x cooler when their complex characters interact with yours in intriguing and unexpected ways.

For example:

The secret beauty behind flaws

I was just a tad... confused. I had to chose a flaw? Why would I want to do this? All of these options look just like ugly parts of your character’s personality and could easily affect them negatively within the story.

Was this a balancing feature? A rule simply put there to make you less awesome, so no one is too overpowered? I just could NOT wrap my head around it. I couldn’t understand how this could make things fun. They were ruining my character.

It was until I started maturing as an individual and learned more about game design and storytelling that I started to appreciate how genius that was. No one cares for the story of perfect, bland, basic individuals who always succeed and have never made mistakes before. Because that is not real, it doesn’t work for an interesting story if there’s no sadness. If there’s no pain, you can just simply look away.

It was to be expected of the game designers of the best roleplaying game in the world to know that having flaws, failures, challenges, weaknesses, mistakes, all of them are ESSENTIAL for a great story to be told!

Was there a moment in your favorite character’s story where his failures and his pain made you love them on a whole new level? Aren’t those failures what drives your characters to become who they are? Would it be a better story if they had always succeeded?

So who is this Rohan Kishibe and, as an artist, what is his take on good storytelling?

Rohan’s Philosophy

Not only is Rohan a good example of a flawed character, but he also has a very interesting philosophy. He is a famous and wealthy manga artist. You’ve got to understand that, to Rohan, his craft is EVERYTHING. It is the thing he does best and what defines him.

Let me just show you one quote of his, so you understand his artistic philosophy:

“Reality is the energy that breathes life into a piece of work, and reality itself is entertainment. People often think that manga are drawn from imagination and fantasy, but that’s not actually true! For me, drawing something that i’ve experienced, or something that has moved me, is what makes it interesting!”

His pursuit for inspiration is so great, that he constantly goes to insane lengths to gain inspiration. This unrelenting desire is why he was originally a villain. Yet even when the protagonist defeated him, all Rohan could think of was of how this set of unfortunate and unlucky events was within itself a hell of a REAL story to use as inspiration. He saw value even in his misfortune as long as it was honest, untapped, unadulterated and pure reality.  That’s his trade secret as a famous and successful storyteller.

Understanding reality, storytelling and our identity

Warning: We’re about to get metaphysical. You might wanna take that bong hit right now. You’ve been warned.

Talking about reality is like opening Pandora’s box. It is such a massively complex topic that before we can even get to the nitty-gritty of it, let’s just agree on the following for the sake of this conversation:

Depending on how skeptic you are, reality could be mostly subjective or arbitrarily objective. So just follow my lead on this one and match your understanding with mine at least while you read this blog.

NO ALTERNATIVE UNIVERSES OR REALITIES

Fate is merely the belief that there is a predestined way things will happen no matter what. Since its only requirement is also its only consequence, (which is also impossible to prove) then even thinking on fate is pointless or even harmful to an individual as it removes agency from himself and turns him into a bystander in his own life.

Facts are limited to the provable physical world. If you can’t prove it, you don’t KNOW it is real, but you could still believe it to be real.

Our understanding of ourselves, comes partly from how others perceive us and their own subjective view of reality.

As mere humans we don’t completely control reality, but we control how it affects us.

Your own experiences and passions have a gargantuan influence on your interpretation of reality.

Storytelling could be simplified as “the way in which reality is described”.

Changing how you tell a story doesn’t change the facts.

That last one sounds a bit anticlimactic doesn’t it? Specially since we’ve talked so much about storytelling just to find out it can’t change reality. You might even wonder if its uses are only limited to art?

Fret not! This is where it all starts coming together.

My story

Before you disregard storytelling as just an art form, or an overglorified logbook, let’s think outside of the box and take a few leaps with me. Let me show you when was it that it clicked for me:

“Just when the COVID-19 lockdown was about to begin, I was at one of my lowest. I’ve always been someone very adamant on living life as he sees best. Even when friends or family wouldn’t understand my decision, I would still pursue my own path. I was proud of this and felt it made me immune to what other people thought. Yet, years of failed relationships were starting to make me doubt myself.

After an emotional breakdown at Denny’s after being stood-up (Great story for another day) I started worrying that the problem might be me. I’ve always been open to feedback as long as it makes sense to me in a logical way, but I had built so much thought behind who I was, that I didn’t even consider that maybe, I was more flawed than what I had originally assessed.

Maybe if all these bad things kept happening to me, there was a constant behind it all. Judging by the fact that these happened throughout the span of years and with different people, it was only reasonable to assume I was the only constant. Maybe my relationships, both in love and in friendship, were failing not because of individual and complex reasons, but because I was involved in all of them.

Maybe I just won’t build close friends or a family, but I guess I can still find a way to enjoy life. It’s just a lonely life, a very lonely life, but it’s best to face reality head on. That’s what I have always taught myself, right? It would be foolish not to do so when the answer is an inconvenient one. It’s still reality. Better get used to it I guess.”

Wow, that went to a very dark place didn’t it? It’s crazy looking at it in retrospective, but while it happened, it really felt like that was just the facts. I sucked at friends and love. That was just the cold hard reality to me. I mused:

“It’s like if I was a D&D character with low charisma doomed to suck at social encounters... “

and then a sudden realization froze me to the core...

Even if by mere accident, I ended up thinking of myself as a D&D character. Remember all that talk about flawed characters? Well, what if I would see myself as a flawed character? We already agreed that the best characters fail, struggle, suffer, cry, rage, and they make mistakes!

It’s like I had opened a whole new dimension that brought new light into who I was. Those weren’t horrible memories of things that broke me down and I wish no one would ever find out anymore. Those were just wild chapters on the bizarre adventure that is my life. These are badges of honor of what my very own story is!

Storytellers are already influencing your reality

I won’t stand here and tell you that everything bad happens for a good reason. Please be careful not to take the wrong message out of this. That wasn’t what I realized at that moment. I finally was able to see that there were two storytellers that had been affecting me all my life, and I hadn’t really seen their influence before!

Let me unmask these two powerful beings that through their storytelling, had changed my reality.

Powerful Storyteller #1 - Those close to you

Did you notice how the story that I was listening from my friends and love interests was sounding aggressively negative towards my self-value? I thought I didn’t care but I was indeed interpreting my life through their stories.

Since we already understand that we each have our own interpretation of life, good and wrong, then it’s not that hard for us to understand that we will never fully agree on what’s cool. Some of us love things that most people don’t even understand. So when they talk to you, they are inadvertently telling you a story about how you’re weird, instead of fascinating.

If only you could have friends or people who DID understand you, then maybe the stories about you would be seen in a much more positive light. It’s not your friends fault for not understanding, you were just asking something unreasonable from them.

Get yourself surrounded by those who are weird like you. You’ll notice that for the right crowd, you’re just the coolest person just for being who you are. That feeling is just invigorating in every sense.

Powerful Storyteller #2 - Yourself

Back in my story, you can see how I took a lot of my own “interpretations” as “facts” or even “reality” when I told myself my own story. You could have just as well told my same story but in a different way with a much more positive light:

“My relationships did fail, but that doesn’t necessarily reflect on my self-worth. I can continuously fail but love the fact that I’m the type of character that is still hopeful and positive even after repeatedly failing and suffering pain each time.”

It’s important you understand what makes you cool as a character. Because it is your job to tell yourself the story of who you are, what you’ve done, and who you will be. You have already been doing so for as long as you can remember, so you don’t even notice it anymore. You are STILL, to this day, re-telling yourself your story and changing how you feel about some parts of it.

What can we do about it?

So if you already are in charge of such a crucial and delicate task, why don’t you apply what we’ve learned so far? Can’t you see how you as the audience (from your own storytelling) would feel when seeing your main character in emotional pain? Don’t you feel empathy and love towards it because of all it has struggled?

You have the power to choose whether or not you will tell your story as the sad log of things you suck at, or as the crazy adventures of someone who’s just trying to do their best. Someone who is AWESOME because you do understand why he gets so excited when talking about that thing, and why he is so disappointed that that other thing didn’t work out again.

Those dark painful memories are beautiful crystallizations of true art! You already have what Rohan Kishibe is willing to kill to get. You already have an amazing REAL story, you now just have to use your storytelling skills to make yourself some justice, and talk about yourself like the amazing character you are when you tell that story to yourself next time you go to sleep.

At least when it comes to my story, well, the only reason why I would ever even think of writing a blog this long, is because I’ve changed the way I tell my story. I firmly believe that most people will never even have the opportunity to read this, but I have also seen value in these thoughts even if there’s no one besides myself who will listen to my story. If anything, at least I hope my story helps you love your character a bit more, just how I have learned to truly appreciate mine.

Thank you from the bottom of my heart for listening to my story. I would always love to hear yours.

[sweetestboi]

(D.grayman Theory) I was sitting in my lecture hall, listening to my professor, and then, suddenly, my mind exploded. That’s when I knew I had figured out D.grayman.

Hello everyone! Just wanted to put this out here that this was originally a theory that I posted on reddit. After it got a bit popular, I decided to post it here. Many people have already asked questions, but, I’ve answered them on the reddit page if you want to look it over. Anyways! I just wanted to let you all see it, as I am VERY happy with this theory: 

Okay, so if you can’t tell by that title, I feel like I figured out D.Grayman. And this isn’t like my other posts where my theories may have one or two leaps of faith, this is a post that literally fits with EVERY clue given throughout the ENTIRE manga and makes more sense than any of the other theories I came up with. Are you ready? You better be, cause I’m fucking certain that I’m about to spoil the entirety of D.Grayman for you. Oh yeah, and I’m not lying, this theory is THICC, so be prepared for a read. … Are all the spoiler-ees gone? Are ya’ll ready to hear this bombshell? If the answer is yes, then let’s get started. Okay, so the entirety of this theory revolves around a character that is INTEGRAL to this series. And I’m not talking about Allen, I’m talking about Road. Road is a character that Hoshino has stated herself that “If Road told everyone everything she knows, D.Grayman would end.” She’s important, and here’s why: Road has been around since the beginning of D.grayman, before even MANA, as she is stated to be, and I quote, “the eldest Noah.” Which means that she has been around since before Mana became the Earl. You know what that means, right? It means that she has been around since the time Past!Earl touched that tree. “But Sweetcreems!“ you say "What does that matter?” Well I’ll tell you. It has been established since the very beginning that Road’s relationship with both Nea and Mana is a bit different than that of the other noahs. As Tyki said himself, she was the one who guided the Earl through it all, and, that she has ALWAYS been there for him. So we know that she cares deeply about the Earl, but, we also know that she cares deeply about Nea. As she is the only one besides Mana, who killed Nea, that survived Nea’s slaughter of the rest of the Noah clan. And that’s no coincidence, that is because Road is someone that means a lot to both Mana and Nea, beyond just the typical Noah relationship. “Oh, I know what you’re going to say, Sweetcreems.” You start with a huge smug grin across your face. “You’re about to say that Road and Nea were lovers. After all, Sheril has been pulling his teeth out to figure out Road and the 14ths relationship.” “Haha,” I laugh, “sorry but you are completely wrong.” You want to know why? It’s because Road is much, much, older than we think she is; of course, this has already been stated numerous times in the manga. During one of their gatherings, she even admits that she has stayed in her little-girl form for over thirty years. But, what that implies is that she is still far, far older than Nea or Mana. As we see that she served as an integral figure of support in both of their lives. When Nea was standing over Mana’s body, she stepped in and protected Mana, cradling his head. Sure, you could say that she was doing this to protect her family. But, if she and Nea were lovers, you’d think that she’d be a bit more hesitant about jumping into the fray. After all, wouldn’t she care more about her lover than just another member of the family? “But…but… she loves Allen, who has Nea’s genes inside of him, so that means they MUST be lovers, right?” Sorry, detective, but again you’re wrong. As Road was never attracted to Allen because he acted like Nea. Ever since Nea was first introduced, it has been made painfully obvious that he is a far, far different character personality-wise than Allen ever was. He’s crueler, still hates humanity, and is willing to kill his family to get what he wants. Does that sound like Allen at all to you, because it shouldn’t. Heck, Cross even admits that, since Mana’s death, Allen has been wearing “Mana’s mask.” And that he “Has started talking like Mana.” Allen was NEVER like Nea, but it’s also obvious that he isn’t exactly like Mana either. From the few scenes we’ve seen of Mana, and of Allen, we know that Mana was still a far-more goofy (obviously, because he was insane) person. Allen still carries some of that toughness as his time as Red with him, as Hoshino has shown us numerous times with both his stubbornness, and his high temper when it comes with his friends. So Road doesn’t like Allen because he acts similar to Nea, hell, if that theory held any ground, it’d be more likely that she was lovers with Mana, and it isn’t like she’s attracted to him because she knew that Allen was Nea’s host. As, when she hallucinates Allen as the Earl in the ark, she had already kissed him. Up until the ark, she had no idea that Allen was Nea’s host. It wasn’t until after he finally started piloting the ark that she finally started piecing things together. So, if she isn’t Nea’s or Mana’s lover, then what the hell IS Road? Well, are you ready? Come closer. Okay, so here’s the kicker, Road IS NEA AND MANA’S MOM! Now, don’t leave yet, because that isn’t really the case. In reality, her true identity is none other than Katerina Eve Campbell. The woman who has been heavily implied to be close to Past!Earl, and the same person who adopted Nea and Mana when Past!Earl split into two. This would explain why Road cares so much for both Mana, and Nea, it’s because she was the person who raised them! To further prove this theory, let’s take a look at some of the things we know: (POST REDDIT EDIT: A friend on reddit told me that, according to the Gray log, KEC and Road have different birthdays. However, with how well the rest of this fits, it could very well be the two different birthdays are: 1.) when KEC was actually born, and 2.) was when she created Road. Which would make sense given how completely obscure Road’s past actually is.) -Road has maintained her same girlish form for over thirty years. However, we know that it isn’t her TRUE form. She states herself that the reason she kept this form is “because she liked it.” And that’s it. -We also know that Road Kamelot isn’t her true name. The Kamelots, and her as a result, is a fabricated family to serve as a cover for the noahs. And while Sheril and Tyki both have accurate first names at least, that doesn’t mean jack for Road. Who we know for a fact had her name completely changed when she joined the Kamelots. -When Katerina Eve Campbell was killed by the Earl, it was HEAVILY implied that she did, in fact, survive. If you don’t believe me, go onto the wiki page, follow the link to the corresponding chapter, and read it yourself. -In one of the more recent chapters, Allen has been told to “visit the Campbell mansion and to find Katerina.” There, he was told he would find answers. And remember what Hoshino said? That it was ROAD who was the person who had all of the answers? -Sheril was even told that Road didn’t die. Tyki states that it was more like Road’s dreams just broke. Which would make sense, given that Road’s true body isn’t the little girl persona she uses, but instead, is Katerina’s who I’ll bet anything is LYING IN A BED DREAMING. Road is the only one that we know for A FACT isn’t using her true body. Even when Lavi wins her game and stabs her, she doesn’t die. And when Apocryphos punches her, all that happens is her dreams get disconnected from her main body. That would explain why, when Wisely talks to Road in the carriage, she says “this is the best form I can maintain right now.” That doesn’t sound like she’s talking about her actual body, because her actual body, the Noah of D-R-E-A-M-S is in the Campbell mansion. So, now we know that Road is - in all likelihood - Katerina Eve Campbell, the woman who raised both Mana and Nea. Who, after she was injured by Mana when the dude went insane, retreated her actual body back into Campbell mansion. That’s the relationship that Sheril is trying to wing-out of Bookman. As, during his stay with the Noah family, Bookman WAS THERE during that scene where Nea was standing over Road and Mana. In one of the chapters, we see a younger him in the mansion. During that scene where Nea was obviously trying to kill Mana, Road cradled Mana - a person she had raised - like a baby. Protecting him like a mother would do for her child. That’s why she seems to be an outlier where she is both on Mana’s side and Nea’s side. It’s because she is, it’s because she had been there since the beginning. When Tyki told Road that she “had been with the Earl since the beginning.” That was Hoshino foreshadowing that Road is Katerina. For, as we obviously have seen, she knew Past!Earl before he separated. ———[PART 2, why the hell does Nea want to kill everybody?]————–

Now it’s time for the fun stuff to really begin. So, now that we know that Road is Katerina Eve Campbell (I’m just going to call her KEC for short now) what does that get us? Well, to answer that question, we first have to understand why Nea is trying to become the Millennium Earl. We know that he still hates humanity, as he only worked with Cross out of a feeling of necessity, and still wants to carry out the Millennium Earl’s mission. However, for some reason, he still wants to kill Mana, but why? The answer to this question is honestly quite simple, it’s because he’s the one that actually wants to complete the Earl’s true mission. But what do I mean by that? Well, the answer for this comes in the form of Nea’s disciples, and, in his mirror - Tyki - who we’ll get to later. Before we get into that, however, I’m going to remind you all of what Road said before she disappeared in front of Allen. “Nea… fought for Mana… but that’s, supposed to be, a secret.” Why did she say that? How could Nea be fighting for Mana when he so obviously wants to kill him? And also, why did he have to kill the majority of the Noah Family to try to do whatever it is he needed to do? Well, since we now know that Road is - in fact - KEC, we can assume that the reason Nea is trying to kill Mana is to free him from his suffering. We’ve seen since the very beginning that Mana was the weaker out of the two of them, he was always the weak one, the one who was sick. And therefore, also had the weakest mind. It’s obvious that, when Mana started to become the Earl, he went insane and became - as Nea puts it - a puppet of destruction. To free him from his suffering, Nea wants to kill Mana and become the Earl. And, by doing so, fulfill the Earl’s true purpose. What is his true purpose? Well that’s where his disciple Cross, and his mirror Tyki, come in. Let’s start with Tyki: -Hoshino has laid it on pretty thick that Tyki is similar to Nea in almost every way. In looks, the way he talks, everything about him just SCREAMS Nea. But, if that’s the case, then that has to mean that Nea is similar to Tyki. And, that therefore, both of them share a “light and a dark side.” Nea, even though we’ve seen him as cruel, we know can be a caring person. As he was for Mana and KEC in the past. -Even though Tyki also wants to see an end to humanity, he also seems to care for them, as he has his own little troupe of friends that he hangs out with frequently, and that he obviously cares for. Now it’s time for Marian Cross, how does he fit into all of this, and why is it that he wants to see Nea’s dream fulfilled? The answer to this question comes in the form of his innocence. In which I’ll just put one word: -Judgement As we have seen before, innocence - and especially the anti-akuma weapons name - reflect their wielders. Allen has the Crown Clown as he used to be a clown, Krory was seen as a vampire, and got a weapon to reflect that. Mugen is a Japanese term for dream ( 夢幻 ), which reflects Kanda’s never ending dream of the Lotus. The dark boots, while they fly like butterflies, are also repeatedly referenced earlier in the manga as “heavy, and not at all comfortable.” Which reflects Lenalee’s earlier view as innocence being the chains which bound her to the Order. So, with all of that, we come to the question: why is Cross’s innocence called Judgement? The answer is it directly aligns with Nea’s goal. Both Cross, and Nea, both have seen the dirtier side of humanity, and want to fix it. And Cross wants to help him achieve that goal because, what Nea wants to do, is not completely destroy humanity, like Mana does, but reform it instead. By having Cross’s innocence be named Judgement, Hoshino is trying to show us that Cross agrees with this sentiment. And that, he too, wants to get rid of the bad side of humanity. This could also tie into why Bookman seems to have allied himself with Nea in the past, for, throughout his entire life all he has seen is never ending war. Let me explain, when the Earl tried to destroy humanity all of those years ago, he caused Noah’s flood, which destroyed most of the planet but, as we all know, beget the Noah family. If his plan really was to completely destroy humanity, then why is it that the NOAH FAMILY, who SUFFERED DIRECTLY FROM THE FLOOD, chose to HELP THE EARL? Wouldn’t it make more sense if the only human survivors decided to, you know, fight the dude that tried to kill them all? The answer is no. As, if we refer back to what Road said all the way back in the beginning of the series: “God also wants humanity to be thrown in the pit of fire.” and, that they were “the true apostles chosen by God himself.” Based on those lines, we can safely assume that the noahs goal is not to drive humanity to extinction. But instead create a new race of sinless humans, like noah in the Old Testament. This would also explain why there are several noahs, like Tyki and Sheril, who - even though they say they want to destroy humanity - still have humans they care about. For Tyki, it’s his troupe. For Sheril, it’s his faux family and wife. What the noahs always wanted to destroy was not humanity as a whole, but just the sinful humans. This is where Nea’s “puppet of destruction line comes in.” He refers to both Mana and Allen as “puppets of destruction” because they both can’t see that each side has its own merits. What the current Earl, Mana, wants to do is completely eradicate humanity and cast God out to the darkness (which, as I’m sure I don’t have to explain to you, wouldn’t make any sense considering Road has stated that she sees the noahs as God’s true chosen apostles.). In that case, the Earl is a puppet of destruction because, in his insanity, he’s taken his drive to destroy too far. And now wants to destroy everything, including God. The reason Nea calls Allen a puppet of destruction is for a similar reason. As his purpose in life is, technically, to destroy akuma, even though he doesn’t really know what the akumas true purpose is. All exorcists and the Order see akuma as creatures to be destroyed, even though that isn’t really the case. As we’ve seen with Eliade, akuma can have feelings - if they want to - for other people. They can love, hate, fear, and detest other people. They are, in affect, humans. As Kanda has stated earlier in the series “suffering is the path that will lead us to salvation.” (which seems to be an extremely common theme in D.Grayman) Akuma serve a different purpose than just being mindless murder machines. As, the true purpose of akuma is to be an integral part in humanity freeing itself from sin. Just think about the process: -Akuma start off as EGGS, with a chain tying the soul to them -They then slowly morph and change, with every iteration having the soul they were made with becoming more and more fused with the akuma body. -Then, in the forth iteration of an akuma, they grow wings and a halo, and the soul is now almost completely part of the machine. And, as several people have stated, they look angelic. It’s very possible that akuma are supposed to be the next stage in the ascension of a human. And, by mindlessly destroying them, exorcists are freeing the souls from the suffering that will lead to their salvation. So, in summary: -Nea wants to kill Mana to free him from insanity, this is what Road means when she says he “fought for Mana.” -Nea wants to fulfill the Noah’s true purpose, which, as Road alluded to herself, is to undergo another purging of sinners, thus ushering in another era of humanity. They are God’s true apostles, and the ones who will expunge the sinful sub-humans from the world. Mana, the puppet of destruction who is insane, just wants to destroy everything, including God. -And finally, akuma are definitely an important step in this “ascension process.” ———[PART 3, who the hell is Allen? And what’s the deal with Tyki and Sheril?]———————- Now this is the part of my theory that I am most proud of, as, even if some segments of this theory are proven to be false (in which case, I’d be shocked) I am almost certain that this is completely right. As Hoshino has foreshadowed every single part of the theory that I am about to describe. Before we cover Allen, however, we first need to focus on the two black sheep in the noah family, Of course, I am talking about Tyki and Sheril. These two have been repeatedly shown as parallels to the two halves of Past!Earl which Road (KEC) raised. However, there is an issue that I am shocked nobody has noticed by now: and that is, Tyki and Sheril are BROTHERS. Like, actual brothers. They didn’t just meet after becoming noahs, they are both actual siblings. However, in that case, how in the world are they both so damn similar to Nea and Mana? For continuities sake, let’s get the parallels out of the way first: Tyki: his parallel is obviously Nea. -They both look the same -Have been stated multiple times by Road and Wisely that he “reminds them” of Nea. -And, as I’ve established above, both share a different view of humanity than the Earl (Mana) does. Now Sheril: Who’s parallel is Mana. -First, he has long hair similar to Mana’s. -He’s much more crazy than his brother Tyki, which is an excellent parallel to Mana and Nea’s relationship. -And he is obviously attracted to Road. Which would make sense, as, in the past, Road seemed to serve as a crutch of sorts for Mana. There are numerous panels where we see her cradling Mana, which suggests this. And, as I’ve already established above, she’s KEC. But this is where things get weird. The thing is, Hoshino has established that these similarities are important, and not coincidences. As Tyki, with every passing chapter, seems to be becoming more and more like Nea. However, there is also another factor to this that really drives these strange similarities home: that Road seems to care for Tyki and Sheril a LOT. -When Allen sliced Tyki in two, she went ballistic, and nearly skewered him and everyone else. Even when Skinn died she didn’t go THAT crazy. And, since the very beginning of the manga, it has been established that she has been close to Tyki. Oh yeah, and did I mention that, when she was cradling Tyki in the ark, she was holding him in the EXACT SAME WAY she held Mana all that time ago in the Campbell mansion. -When it comes to Sheril, however, the connection is a bit less obvious. However, she definitely has a soft spot for Sheril, as she agreed to become his adoptive daughter. Remember, she didn’t have to do this, she could’ve just changed forms and live by herself. But she didn’t do that, instead, she literally joined Sheril’s faux family. The more important facet of this is Sheril’s unnatural attraction to her. As far as we know, there haven’t been any other mention of Noah’s falling THAT-HARD for another member of the family. Hell, when he was interrogating Bookman, Fidra and Tyki were both shocked by just how much Road’s disappearance affected the man. He sees Road in a similar way that Road sees Tyki. Granted, Road doesn’t love Tyki like Sheril loves her. But all of this establishes that there’s a connection between the three of them that simply makes them closer than the other noahs. Except for one person, of course, and that’s the Earl. And this is the reason why: Now, when you read this, I want you to keep in mind Road’s age. And, even when Nea and Mana were young, she was KEC, and was far older. Old enough to have kids. Now, I want you to keep in mind that Sheril and Tyki are both relatively-young. Both of them HAVE to be thirty or less as the Noah family needed time to rebuild after Nea killed all of them. And, after just looking at them and their actions, it’s obvious that they’re both thirty, or under. (POST REDDIT EDIT: A kind soul on reddit told me that Sheril and Tyki are both thirty-four and twenty-seven. However, that changes nothing, as it would still put them within the thirty-five year gap between Nea’s death and the present) Which means, they were both born at the same time, and then both just HAPPENED to become noahs who are just like the two halves of Past!Earl. And they both have a strangely-closer connection to Road than the other noahs. You want to know why? It’s because Tyki and Sheril are Road’s actual kids. Nea and Mana weren’t her kids, they were just the two halves of Past!Earl. And, as we already know, Road is definitely old enough to have children. Especially during the time after Nea’s attack. This would explain: A.) Road’s connection with Tyki, why she held him exactly like she did Mana, and why she went near ballistic when Allen cut him in two. B.) Why Sheril is so attracted to her, because, even though he’s the noah of desire, he’s being affected by Mana’s own feelings of admiration towards Road, who has been with the Earl since the very beginning. And, as I’m sure you all can remember, why he seems to be so batshit crazy. Just like Mana. “A-ha! I’ve got you now, Sweetcreems!” You yell as you rapidly start to type your response to disprove this theory. “You said yourself that it’s almost impossible for Nea and Road to be lovers, since she is KEC. And, since - if Tyki and Sheril were her kids - they’d have to be born after Nea’s death, there’d be no way for her to actually have kids.” “Ha! You just sit down you uneducated swine!” I scream as I pimpslap you. “Because there IS a person who is the proper age to be Tyki and Sheril’s father, AND who was around after Nea’s death!” You want to know who that is? Well I’ll tell you, it’s Past!Allen baby! Past!Allen, for those of you who don’t know, is a person who looks like Allen that Nea referred to in one of his flashbacks. He was also heavily implied to be a close personal friend of Nea’s, one of the few that was actually human, and was a person who was almost definitely Bookman’s dead apprentice. Past!Allen is also the one who agreed to take Nea’s memories upon his death, and, after some lines spoken by Nea, is almost confirmed to be Allen before he became, well, you know, Allen. We know that Past!Allen was exceptionally close with the noah family. As he managed to convince Nea to give him his memories, and it is Past!Allen that Mana eventually named his dead dog over. We also know that, given his level of education and other clues, that he was Bookman’s dead apprentice. And was there with Bookman when they were tagging along with the noah family for records. Now, all that stuff above is information pretty much already known by the community. However, this is where my theory comes in. Remember, earlier in this post when I was discussing how the “Road and Nea are lovers theory” doesn’t hold ground? Because she could have no idea, at the time, that Allen was the 14ths host? You do? Good. Because the reason why Road loves Allen is because he reminds her, obviously, of Past!Allen. Think about it: -Their personalities are very similar, as Past!Allen was a massive influence on Mana, who then passed those traits down to Allen when he was traveling with him. -Both Allen and Past!Allen have similar white hair.

(((((POST REDDIT EDIT: Hey, last edit of this theory.  Before any of you hound me about Past!Allen’s hair color, let me say that Past!Allen’s hair color depends on the format you’re reading.  Me and a few buddies on reddit did a deep dive into the manga and physical versions, which I have, and found the following:  In the magazine version, Past!Allen has slightly darker hair.  However, in the volume/other versions, he has lighter hair with a slight etching.  Basically, what this is telling us is that Hoshino isn’t consistent with Past!Allen’s hair color.  However, after a bit of talking and going through alternate versions and the majority of the panels in which we’ve seen him in.  All of us agreed that Past!Allen’s hair color was light, but not snow white.  Note that this would still work with this theory.  As Road would’ve been attracted to someone with light-colored hair, which would still fit with Past!Allen and Allen.  As Nea, Mana, and the current Earl all have black hair.)))))

-Both of them had an intense love for life. For Allen, it was in the form of saving other people. For Past!Allen, it was in his bookman knowledge and with the helix of life. It’s fairly obvious that, at the time of Nea’s death (he was 17 at the time), Past!Allen was far older. Unlike Nea, he was fully grown and mature. And, for obvious reasons, cared a lot for Nea, Mana, and his family. This is where the bookmen side of things comes in. When Bookman took Past!Allen with him to record history, Past!Allen befriended Nea, Mana, and, eventually, Road. As Road’s actions towards Allen obviously show, she and Past!Allen had become lovers after Nea’s death. It was Past!Allen who fathered Tyki and Sheril. Which is why they are so similar to Nea and Mana in terms of personality and other things, as their mom was the same person who raised both Nea and Mana. This is why Road falls in love with Allen, not because he reminds her of Nea, but because he reminds her of Past!Allen, his old self, and her old lover. And, given how close Past!Allen seemed to be with the family, this would make sense. This would also explain why Bookman is so adamant about making sure that Lavi “detaches himself” from his comrades. It’s because he KNOWS that his old, fully-grown, apprentice fell in love with one of the people they were supposed to be recording. And that this was probably one of the reasons that led to Past!Allen’s eventual death. And speaking of death, we can now arrive at the final part of this theory. Namely, how the hell did Past!Allen, who was old as hell, become young and, suddenly, now has innocence embedded in his left arm? This is the part that I really geeked-out over when I realized this, so get ready: -Okay, so according to my theory, we know that Road and Past!Allen were lovers, and probably had kids who are probably Tyki and Sheril. During some point after their birth, they were probably put up for adoption before becoming noahs once again. -However, for this theory - and a whole lot of CANON plotpoints to fit together - Past!Allen couldn’t have died directly after Nea’s death. As he’d have to go a full fifteen years before we can get into the timeframe where the Allen we know and love came to be. Plus, we know that Cross couldn’t have had a hand in Allen being the host, as he never knew that Allen was the host until the day where he met Mana. So here’s what happened: For fifteen years Road and the Earl were the only two noahs left, it was in this period that the other noahs memories were recovering. As, based on Wisely’s recovery time, we know that it took the rest of them at least that long for their memories to properly heal. For fifteen years, Past!Allen lived with Road, and it’s in this time where the Earl was just focusing on rebuilding his armies. And then, something happened to Past!Allen that led to his death. Taking Nea’s memories along with him. NOTE THAT THIS DEATH WOULD LINE UP NICELY TO WHEN BOOKMAN STARTED LOOKING FOR ANOTHER APPRENTICE. As it would be only a few years after Past!Allen’s death that Bookman would start looking for another apprentice. However, as we know, if Past!Allen died. Then how the hell does he come back, as a child, with no memories, and with innocence? Well, as Nea puts it when he stares angrily at Allen’s left arm: “Allen doesn’t recognize me, and he’s… gotten younger? Why is that?” He then looks down and thinks: “This must be your fault.” And you know what? He’s right. BUT NOT IN THE WAY THAT THIS COMMUNITY VIEWS IT. Most theories I see have this step go somewhat like this: “Uhhh… the innocence caused Allen’s body to rewind.” HOWEVER, MY FRIENDS, IF THAT’S THE CASE, THEN WHY IS HIS HAIR COLOR DIFFERENT?! Before you laugh, let me saw that I’m dead serious. Past!Allen had snow white hair, like Allen does now, AND HE WORE GLASSES. However, the Allen we know had bright red hair, perfectly fine eyes, and looks nothing like Past!Allen. “So what is it then?” You ask “Did he implant the innocence into himself, or something like that?” “Haha!” I laugh, “Sorry but you’re wrong again!” Because, guess what? As Bookman had stated Past!Allen died. He didn’t engrave something into his arm and revert back to a child. No, what happened is that, after his death, he got a different body. This is where the Alma Karma arc comes in. We know that, before Komui finally stepped in and changed things, that the Order was not a nice place. They did experiments where they’d take blood relatives and force innocence upon them, turning them into fallen ones. Or, in Kanda’s case, they’d take dead exorcists brains and put them in new bodies. However, there’s one aspect to all of this that we’ve never touched, and that’s the parasite type. Tell me, what do you think happens when a parasite-type exorcist goes brain dead? As we’ve seen with Marie, Hoshino shows us that disabled-exorcists are a thing. And, when this happened in the past, the old Order would go the Kanda route and take their brains out. However, what do you do when the innocence is a parasite type attached to a brain dead host? Going by above, the logical answer is obvious: Just scoop out the brain and put a new one in. And, my friends, what better brain to use than that of a recently-deceased bookman? Here’s the lowdown: the Order found Past!Allen’s dead body, figured out that he was a bookman, and then decided to place Past!Allen’s brain in the body of a brain dead parasite-type exorcist. They gave this new body the works. And, like with Kanda, wiped the memories of the man’s past life to ensure synchronization. This is why Allen remembers nothing of his past life, and why it seems like he was born with his innocence. Because the Order wiped his memories! Sadly, for the scientists, innocence has a really bad habit of going crazy when being brought back from the dead. And, as we’ve seen time, and time, and time, and time again, Allen’s innocence doesn’t require him to be conscious to be able to use it. When synchronization was achieved, the innocence went Alma on their asses, and killed everyone. This is why: A.) Nobody remembers him, cause they’re all dead. B.) Why Allen’s innocence seems so unique, because it does, in essence, have a mind of its own. From then on Allen would wake up alone, wander the streets, and finally, join the circus where he’d meet Mana. From here on out, you all know the rest. So, in summary, here’s the lowdown of this fat-ass theory: -Road is actually Katerina Eve Campbell, which is why she’s ALWAYS be around. -Road raised Nea and Mana, Mana went insane, injuring her - but not killing her - forcing her to keep her actual body in Campbell mansion. Where, remember, Allen is going to find answers which, as Hoshino has stated in numerous interviews, Road has ALL of them. -Road had children with Past!Allen, she likes Allen because of his white hair, and the fact that his personality reminds her of him. The NeaRoad theory doesn’t hold ground because there is no way that she’d have any inkling that Allen was Nea’s successor at that time, and because their personalities are completely different. -The children Road had are Tyki and Sheril. The two twins who won the lottery and somehow BOTH managed to become noahs. This explains why she seems to share a deeper connection with them than the other noahs. And why the Earl has a soft spot for Tyki, because he reminds him of Nea. -Past!Allen died, and his brain was used in a second-exorcist like experiment that, since it was a parasite type, they couldn’t use a second-exorcist-like healing factor. This worked, and this is why Nea says its the “Innocence’s fault” that Allen doesn’t remember him. Because, in the process of Allen having his brain transferred, he forgot all memories of his past life. There, boom, D.Grayman fucking solved, I’m so happy with this theory so please, if you want, ask some questions if you’re curious. P.S. Like I said above, this theory was originally posted on my reddit profile on the r/D.grayman reddit. Many people asked questions, which I answered. So, if you have an idea on how this theory might not work, I might’ve already proved that wrong on the reddit page. Or, who knows! Maybe I’m completely off. I’m honestly just curious to see what you guys think. And so, thanks for reading.

[leviackercanon]

HCs about Levi with a titan shifter! S/o please! you’re doing great! ❤️❤️❤️

Thank you so much for your kindness !! I’ll keep trying my best !!! ♡(.◜ω◝.)♡

There will be 2 versions : a non-spoiler one and a spoiler one ! Those who are not manga readers, scroll up when you will reach the spoilers section ღゝ◡╹)ノ♡

Head(Story)canon : Levi x SO who is a titan shifter

Non-spoiler version (quite long ヾ(´･ ･｀｡)ノ)

How can I start without telling you that it was pretty bad when Levi found out you were a titan shifter ? (´；ω；`)

Oh... I can’t ! Because it was very bad  (sorry o(╥﹏╥)o)

You belonged to the survey corps but you weren’t a random soldier. Nope there was a titan inside of you and unlike Eren... You knew your c r i m e. You ate your mother when you were younger and even if some memories were blurry because of the shock, the memories were always reviving in your nightmares : how your mother explained that there was a special tradition in your family, the cannibalism, and she had to transmit you the titan inside of her and you would have to do the same later. How she was crying and screaming that she regretted her acts but she didn’t have the choice

And then she transformed you into a titan. When you regained consciousness... You felt a strange power running through your veines. And your mother was gone. You knew what you did and you were scattered for life.

After that you lived seperated from the others and you learned how to control your powers by yourself. You knew you were a titan shifter : someone who could transform into a conscious and intelligent titan. But not only you were scared of yourself, you were also disgusted with what you were. Worst : titans were enemies if people knew your secret, you would be killed as the enemy number one.

But then you found out about Eren Jager and that’s why you joined the survey corps : someone else was a titan shifter, finally, finally, there was someone like you ! And apparently he had a key that lead to his father’s basement where he hid the truth about the titans. You wanted to know the truth about your mom too ! Joining them was the only way to understand this

But you never expected to meet Levi though, the humanity’s strongest soldier. And in the worst way : you wanted to catch up Eren in a corridor to meet him but you bumped into someone who crossed your way. That someone was the heichou... And he was holding his dear cup of tea (the only damn pleasure of his damn day... ruined by you) when you bumped into him.

His precious cup of tea shaterring in the floor was the worst thing you could e v e r do to him and when you met his eyes to apologize, you got scared of his murderous look

OÏ YOU DAMN BRAT ! Where are your eyes ?! No one told you to look in front of you when you walk ? Huh ? Where do you think you were going like that ? If your eyes are that useless to you, I’ll help myself to cut them off from you, no hard feelings since you don’t fucking know how to use your damn shitty eyes in the first place ?! And what are you waiting for ?! Go clean the mess you have done cadet !

Y-Yeeeeees !!!!! H-Heichou !

Not only you definitely lost the sight of Eren but Levi had an eye on you (no pun intented with sight and eye... Ahh so many expressions in english)

Since that day, Levi ordered you to clean the refectory every night (not only you wasted his tea but your cleaning skills sucked, he had to do something with you, you couldn’t get away from this shit easily)

But Levi had actually noticed something with you, something that bothered him, and he wasn’t a man of many words but when he wanted to say something, he wouldn’t hesitate. He was honest and frank after all. So that’s what he did when he found you cleaning the tables of the refectory

His face would still show his disgust, you really sucked at cleaning, he could still see some bread crumbs on some tables... But oh well, he would just have to clean up later, gosh, no one knew how to clean in the survey corps, the headquarters were only clean thanked to him huh

You the damn shitty brat. What’s wrong with your face ? You look like a corpse. Do you want to defecate or something ?

Levi noticed the emptiness in your eyes. The same emptiness in a lot of people’s eyes in the slums. The same pain in their face. And for good reason, he had the same expression when his mother died and his entire world collapsed.

You looked like someone who was just waiting for their death and that was something he couldn’t tolerate especially when so many soldiers would have wanted to stay alive and they fought until their last breath. Levi valued life more than anyone else. Just what was wrong with you ?!

No... No Levi ! Heichou ! I’m good thanks !

Levi would frown and tch you. Your deny was the w o r s t

I happened to finish my paperwork. Stop cleaning. You are just making the tables dirtier.

Levi preparing tea and asking you to follow him in his office! He might have given the impression that he didn’t care of everything and everyone by his attitude, but it was the opposite. Erwin made him a corporal. A heichou. It was also his duty to talk to the recruits who needed help. He couldn’t stand the useless chit-chat but he was good at saying the right word.

And telling people to get their shit together. He did say that to you.

You joined the survey corps to find someone like you and the truth. You didn’t want to be alone. But you never thought that the one who would save you was Levi.

Making you tea but on the same time being scold off by Levi... He was the FIRST person to notice that deep suffering and actually care (and telling you to get your fucking shit together if you didn’t want to have your eyes ripped off by him yep yep)

Levi would actually help you (he knew the importance of being saved : Kenny, Isabel, Farlan, Erwin, even that annoying Hanji, they all helped him, now it was his turn) by asking you to clean up some stuff, making tea, sometimes putting you with a member of his squad... Giving you importance by giving you some responsabilities

And he actually succeeded. You forgot about your crime and your past. Your pain. You even found yourself talking and laughing with his bad sense of humor. He was even praising your tea and your cleaning skill few months later

He even considered you as a friend after these months, he didn’t know what whas the cause of your pain (he knew that if you wanted to open to him you would so he didn’t worry) but you could see you were more lively than when he first met you

But bonding with him woud be your mistake

 It was during a very violent expedition where even Eren in his titan form wasn’t enough, there were to many titans. And Levi was beating his ass off to kill as many titans as he could to help the SCorps to go back inside the walls. He was ready to sacrifice himself.

AND Y O U COULDN’T STAND T H A T

HE WAS YOUR SAVIOR ! HE Made you feel so ALIVE during these past months ! And you could help him, you had the powers to !

sCREW OFF YOUR SECRET AND YOUR COVER ! If you had to die, it had to be for your savior ! And that’s how you slowed down your horse, seperated yourself with the others, and went to where Levi was before transforming yourself into a titan

 Levi’s shock was real. Especially when it was a titan shifter he didn’t know. And in a few minutes you cleaned up the entire zone. And when you got out of your titan’s neck... The shock was an euphemism

The damn brat he helped... was a titan shifter.

Levi... I... I can explain everything to y -

Not now. Let’s get the fucking hell out here.

Levi was livid. He didn’t understand a shit but he trusted his guts. If you both stayed here, others titans would come. Though you never caught up the others and you finally went to a hideout of the survey corps especially made for this case of scenario

But now LEVI WANTED ANSWERS

So sadly you weren’t surprised when he took out his lames and threatened you, a lame under your chin with a cold and blank expression in his face

You have 30 seconds to explain yourself S/O. If you think you can get away, I’ll just cut off your members. Hands, legs, eyes, tongue. But who cares ? It will grow back right ?

You were disappointed but you knew it would go this way. You were a titan shifter. What did you expect ? Titan shifters didn’t have the right to live... And you wanted to burst out in tears. You told him everything. You were trapped anyways.

And you can’t remember everything ? Just like Eren. How convenient right ? What about Annie ? Where you on her fucking side all this time S/O ?! DID YOU WORK WITH HER ?!

 NO I DIDN’T ! I SWEAR ! IF YOU THINK EATING YOUR OWN PARENT IS CONVENIENT JUST KILL ME ALREADY LEVI ! DON’T YOU THINK I KNOW ? THAT I AM DISGUSTING ?! I JUST WANTED TO SAVE YOU ! ALL I HAVE EVER WANTED WAS... WAS... TO STAY WITH YOU A BIT LONGER LEVI !

You had enough of your life, the secrets, you couldn’t bear that, no more. You never talked to anyone because you were frightened. So it wasn’t surprising when you fell on the ground, crying your soul and your heart out. You were just so fed up with that broken world and that life !

My mom transformed me just to make me eat her ! I never wanted that Levi ! I swear ! I never hurt anyone else ! If you want to kill me, I won’t fight b...

Enough.

Yeah Levi grabbing you by the collar and putting you against the wall to make you standing up... To see your eyes.

Enough. I have heard it. Tch.

Heichou I...

You are not like Eren. That brat is unstoppable when he is in his titan form. He is crazier than you.

Levi had definitely calmed down. Cause Levi himself had a fright. The fright that you betrayed him, you used him, you were a spy. He had to be ready to cut out your arms and legs in the worst case scenario

But... You were you. You had the same eyes. The same pain in the eyes. Your suffering was honest. That’s why killing you wasn’t en option. And by far, the only titans shiters were CRAZY AF : Eren who could go crazy in his rage, Annie, Berthold, Reiner.

But you... He had to admit it while looking at you. He had to admit that you weren’t a titan shifter like the others.

You were the most human one.

Crying your pain, begging him to kill you... God. He couldn’t stand that and watching you sobbing and suffering. Especially when you just saved his fucking ass. You saved his damn life. Of course he was feeling a bit bitter knowing you were a titan but he couldn’t stop thinking that there was no difference. Yeah you could shift into a titan... but finally, what was the big deal ?

The world was SO FUCKED UP ALREADY, titans shifters, titans, even him wasn’t that normal

But what was making him feel sorry was the regret on your face, the regret of being you, the regret of being alive

S/O, calm down. I owe you an apologie. I don’t care if you hold a grudge against me later, that’s my job to eliminate threats. But you saved my butt back there and I thank you for that.

Now... I will be killed right...? Because I hid the truth for so long...

I don’t know. But I’m sure of what my eyes saw. You saving me and I won’t omit that to the hierarchy

But that wasn’t enough to calm you down. You were obviously crying for an entire life, like a baby, since when were you holding your feelings like that ? And because he couldn’t stand that, he finally took you in his arms

He was full aware he acted like a jerk but he had to be sure. Feeling you shaking in his arms, your tears on his warm neck, he was sure. You were so inoffensive. And even though he knew your real identity, he wanted to protect you

Because you were the personification of a collateral damage.

You didn’t ask for this, you were just a victim

The world was already wrong so he at least had to do the right thing with you in this shit.

And that’s what he fucking did : when you both went back to the walls (you shifting into a titan to kill titans behind you while Levi would guide your horse) he stood up for you in front of Erwin, Zackley and Nile. Well he had to give them that shitty excuse that as long as he could kill you, you weren’t a threat, but it was a necessary step to be officially accepted in the walls as a titan shifter

After that night, Levi and you would share a special bond : not only in the headquarters where he would often ask you in his office just to make sure you were alright and that no one would badmouth you (it would often end with him making you tea or hot chocolate while you would telling him about your day), but also oustide of the walls : he asked a special permission to team up with you

The official excuse was to keep an eye on you... But you both knew it wasn’t that. You were actually making a great team. He never suceeded to work with Eren, he was always so impulsive but it was different with you : you both trusted each other. You both would have each other’s back.

BEST TEAM EVER I’M TELLING YA

Eren making friend with you : but now you didn’t need that much to be friend with him... WHEN YOU HAD LEVI

Also Levi beating the ass of Hanji when she would harass you to make some experiments on you. You didn’t need that, you were actually controlling your titan more than Eren !

And finally the trust and that sepcial bond between you two definitely turned into the greatest love. You always thought you didn’t deserve to be loved after your crime.

But guess who told you the opposite ? Yep. Yepyepyepyepyepype Levi.

ENDING ONE :  no one thought Levi and you would date, and even Zackley and Nile got worried : what if his love blinded him ? But they had to see the evidence, you were a perfect titan shifter, not only you could control yourself, but you could transform more times in a row than Eren. Best asset ever. And oh well... If Levi trusted you, they shall do the same. He was never wrong with people

Levi would always stand up for you anyways ! If Nile or even Zackley had a problem with you, he wouldn’t mind telling them his thoughts on the matter in a snappy way

He would protect you in the Shiganshina’s battler : Sieg, Berthold, Reiner were not only interested by Eren, but also by you. He would beat every fucking damn shitty titan shifter that woud DARE TO TRY TAKING YOU

Definitely M A R R Y I N G   Y O U  after Maria’s reconquest ! You both had experienced some serious shit and you wanted to officialize your love gaaaaah ! He wanted to show to everyone he couldn’t care the less that you could transform into a titan ! And more importantly... He didn’t want you to suffer anymore !

SPOILER VERSION (FOR MANGA READERS ONLY) ( ´ ▽ ` )ﾉ

Ymir’s curse

Ymir’s curse

Ymir’s curse

Ymir’s curse

Y M I R ‘ S C U R S E

YMIR’S CURSE

Grisha’s diaries were clear. A titan shifter had only 13 years to live after eating the special titan

You finally found your happiness with Levi. You both were together. You even planned a life together... But the truth was...

You just had a few years to live.

You couldn’t believe your ears. You couldn’t believe that... Tragedy.

Levi too.

He finally found love. He didn’t want to lose you ! He couldn’t BARE THE THOUGHT of LOSING you ! Even worse, someone would have to eat you to not lose the titan you had!

You were both astonished and in pain to talk about it. You both needed time to that shocking and terrible news.

Of course Levi wanted to find a solution... But there was none. Lilke the others titans shifters in the past centuries, you would die, reaching your 13 years of your titan’s life

That night Levi and you had rough sex, you both wanted to express your passion, your anger, your pain, your bitter love, your need to feel each other’s skin

ENDINg 2 : after that you decided to live your life in the fullest with Levi. There was no other ways anyways. You just wanted to enjoy his love and he refused you nothing. He would do everything you wanted. And you were just grateful to have met him

Your pregnancy made you stayed in the Paradise Island in 854 while the others went to Marley to take back Eren and Sieg

And I think I will stop writing here because I will probably c r y

C’m o n ISAYAMA tell me there is a solution

They deserve happiness : Reiner, Armin, Annie, Peak, Porco.. PLEASE

even that imaginary titan shifter S/O !!! LET HER BE HAPPY WITH LEVI

[dgraymantheories]

I was sitting in my lecture hall, listening to my professor, and then, suddenly, my mind exploded. That's when I knew I had figured out D.grayman.

Hello everyone! Just wanted to put this out here that this was originally a theory that I posted on reddit. After it got a bit popular, I decided to post it here. Many people have already asked questions, but, I've answered them on the reddit page if you want to look it over. Anyways! I just wanted to let you all see it, as I am VERY happy with this theory: Okay, so if you can't tell by that title, I feel like I figured out D.Grayman. And this isn't like my other posts where my theories may have one or two leaps of faith, this is a post that literally fits with EVERY clue given throughout the ENTIRE manga and makes more sense than any of the other theories I came up with. Are you ready? You better be, cause I'm fucking certain that I'm about to spoil the entirety of D.Grayman for you. Oh yeah, and I'm not lying, this theory is THICC, so be prepared for a read. ... Are all the spoilerees gone? Are ya'll ready to hear this bombshell? If the answer is yes, then let's get started. Okay, so the entirety of this theory revolves around a character that is INTEGRAL to this series. And I'm not talking about Allen, I'm talking about Road. Road is a character that Hoshino has stated herself that "If Road told everyone everything she knows, D.Grayman would end." She's important, and here's why: Road has been around since the beginning of D.grayman, before even MANA, as she is stated to be, and I quote, "the eldest Noah." Which means that she has been around since before Mana became the Earl. You know what that means, right? It means that she has been around since the time Past!Earl touched that tree. “But Sweetcreems!" you say "What does that matter?" Well I'll tell you. It has been established since the very beginning that Road's relationship with both Nea and Mana is a bit different than that of the other noahs. As Tyki said himself, she was the one who guided the Earl through it all, and, that she has ALWAYS been there for him. So we know that she cares deeply about the Earl, but, we also know that she cares deeply about Nea. As she is the only one besides Mana, who killed Nea, that survived Nea's slaughter of the rest of the Noah clan. And that's no coincidence, that is because Road is someone that means a lot to both Mana and Nea, beyond just the typical Noah relationship. "Oh, I know what you're going to say, Sweetcreems." You start with a huge smug grin across your face. "You're about to say that Road and Nea were lovers. After all, Sheril has been pulling his teeth out to figure out Road and the 14ths relationship." "Haha," I laugh, "sorry but you are completely wrong." You want to know why? It's because Road is much, much, older than we think she is. Of course, this has already been stated numerous times in the manga. During one of their gatherings, she even admits that she has stayed in her little-girl form for over thirty years. But, what that implies is that she is still far, far older than Nea or Mana. As we see that she served as an integral figure of support in both of their lives. When Nea was standing over Mana's body, she stepped in and protected Mana, cradling his head. Sure, you could say that she was doing this to protect her family. But, if she and Nea were lovers, you'd think that she'd be a bit more hesitant about jumping into the fray. After all, wouldn't she care more about her lover than just another member of the family? "But...but... she loves Allen, who has Nea's genes inside of him, so that means they MUST be lovers, right?" Sorry, detective, but again you're wrong. As Road was never attracted to Allen because he acted like Nea. Ever since Nea was first introduced, it has been made painfully obvious that he is a far, far different character personality-wise than Allen ever was. He's crueler, still hates humanity, and is willing to kill his family to get what he wants. Does that sound like Allen at all to you, because it shouldn't. Heck, Cross even admits that, since Mana's death, Allen has been wearing "Mana's mask." And that he "Has started talking like Mana." Allen was NEVER like Nea, but it's also obvious that he isn't exactly like Mana either. From the few scenes we've seen of Mana, and of Allen, we know that Mana was still a far-more goofy (obviously, because he was insane) person. Allen still carries some of that toughness as his time as Red with him, as Hoshino has shown us numerous times with both his stubbornness, and his high temper when it comes with his friends. So Road doesn't like Allen because he acts similar to Nea (hell, if that theory held any ground, it'd be more likely that she was lovers with Mana), and it isn't like she's attracted to him because she knew that Allen was Nea's host. As, when she hallucinates Allen as the Earl in the ark, she had already kissed him. Up until the ark, she had no idea that Allen was Nea's host. It wasn't until after he finally started piloting the ark that she finally started piecing things together. So, if she isn't Nea's or Mana's lover, then what the hell IS Road? Well, are you ready? Come closer. Okay, so here's the kicker, Road IS NEA AND MANA'S MOM! Now, don't leave yet, because that isn't really the case. In reality, her true identity is none other than Katerina Eve Campbell. The woman who has been heavily implied to be close to Past!Earl, and the same person who adopted Nea and Mana when Past!Earl split into two. This would explain why Road cares so much for both Mana, and Nea, it's because she was the person who raised them! To further prove this theory, let's take a look at some of the things we know: (POST REDDIT EDIT: A friend on reddit told me that, according to the Gray log, KEC and Road have different birthdays. However, with how well the rest of this fits, it could very well be the two different birthdays are: 1.) when KEC was actually born, and 2.) was when she created Road. Which would make sense given how completely obscure Road's past actually is.) -Road has maintained her same girlish form for over thirty years. However, we know that it isn't her TRUE form. She states herself that the reason she kept this form is "because she liked it." And that's it. -We also know that Road Kamelot isn't her true name. The Kamelots, and her as a result, is a fabricated family to serve as a cover for the noahs. And while Sheril and Tyki both have accurate first names at least, that doesn't mean jack for Road. Who we know for a fact had her name completely changed when she joined the Kamelots. -When Katerina Eve Campbell was killed by the Earl, it was HEAVILY implied that she did, in fact, survive. If you don't believe me, go onto the wiki page, follow the link to the corresponding chapter, and read it yourself. -In one of the more recent chapters, Allen has been told to "visit the Campbell mansion and to find Katerina." There, he was told he would find answers. And remember what Hoshino said? That it was ROAD who was the person who had all of the answers? -Sheril was even told that Road didn't die. Tyki states that it was more like Road's dreams just broke. Which would make sense, given that Road's true body isn't the little girl persona she uses, but instead, is Katerina's who I'll bet anything is LYING IN A BED DREAMING. Road is the only one that we know for A FACT isn't using her true body. Even when Lavi wins her game and stabs her, she doesn't die. And when Apocryphos punches her, all that happens is her dreams get disconnected from her main body. That would explain why, when Wisely talks to Road in the carriage, she says "this is the best form I can maintain right now." That doesn't sound like she's talking about her actual body, because her actual body, the Noah of D-R-E-A-M-S is in the Campbell mansion. So, now we know that Road is - in all likelihood - Katerina Eve Campbell, the woman who raised both Mana and Nea. Who, after she was injured by Mana when the dude went insane, retreated her actual body back into Campbell mansion. That's the relationship that Sheril is trying to wing-out of Bookman. As, during his stay with the Noah family, Bookman WAS THERE during that scene where Nea was standing over Road and Mana. In one of the chapters, we see a younger him in the mansion. During that scene where Nea was obviously trying to kill Mana, Road cradled Mana - a person she had raised - like a baby. Protecting him like a mother would do for her child. That's why she seems to be an outlier where she is both on Mana's side and Nea's side. It's because she is, it's because she had been there since the beginning. When Tyki told Road that she "had been with the Earl since the beginning." That was Hoshino foreshadowing that Road is Katerina. For, as we obviously have seen, she knew Past!Earl before he separated. ---------[PART 2, why the hell does Nea want to kill everybody?]-------------- Now it's time for the fun stuff to really begin. So, now that we know that Road is Katerina Eve Campbell (I'm just going to call her KEC for short now) what does that get us? Well, to answer that question, we first have to understand why Nea is trying to become the Millennium Earl. We know that he still hates humanity, as he only worked with Cross out of a feeling of necessity, and still wants to carry out the Millennium Earl's mission. However, for some reason, he still wants to kill Mana, but why? The answer to this question is honestly quite simple, it's because he's the one that actually wants to complete the Earl's true mission. But what do I mean by that? Well, the answer for this comes in the form of Nea's disciples, and, in his mirror - Tyki - who we'll get to later. Before we get into that, however, I'm going to remind you all of what Road said before she disappeared in front of Allen. "Nea... fought for Mana... but that's, supposed to be, a secret." Why did she say that? How could Nea be fighting for Mana when he so obviously wants to kill him? And also, why did he have to kill the majority of the Noah Family to try to do whatever it is he needed to do? Well, since we now know that Road is - in fact - KEC, we can assume that the reason Nea is trying to kill Mana is to free him from his suffering. We've seen since the very beginning that Mana was the weaker out of the two of them, he was always the weak one, the one who was sick. And therefore, also had the weakest mind. It's obvious that, when Mana started to become the Earl, he went insane and became - as Nea puts it - a puppet of destruction. To free him from his suffering, Nea wants to kill Mana and become the Earl. And, by doing so, fulfill the Earl's true purpose. What is his true purpose? Well that's where his disciple Cross, and his mirror Tyki, come in. Let's start with Tyki: -Hoshino has laid it on pretty thick that Tyki is similar to Nea in almost every way. In looks, the way he talks, everything about him just SCREAMS Nea. But, if that's the case, then that has to mean that Nea is similar to Tyki. And, that therefore, both of them share a "light and a dark side." Nea, even though we've seen him as cruel, we know can be a caring person. As he was for Mana and KEC in the past. -Even though Tyki also wants to see an end to humanity, he also seems to care for them, as he has his own little troupe of friends that he hangs out with frequently, and that he obviously cares for. Now it's time for Marian Cross, how does he fit into all of this, and why is it that he wants to see Nea's dream fulfilled? The answer to this question comes in the form of his innocence. In which I'll just put one word: -Judgement As we have seen before, innocence - and especially the anti-akuma weapons name - reflect their wielders. Allen has the Crown Clown as he used to be a clown, Krory was seen as a vampire, and got a weapon to reflect that. Mugen is a Japanese term for dream ( 夢幻 ), which reflects Kanda's never ending dream of the Lotus. The dark boots, while they fly like butterflies, are also repeatedly referenced earlier in the manga as "heavy, and not at all comfortable." Which reflects Lenalee's earlier view as innocence being the chains which bound her to the Order. So, with all of that, we come to the question: why is Cross's innocence called Judgement? The answer is it directly aligns with Nea's goal. Both Cross, and Nea, both have seen the dirtier side of humanity, and want to fix it. And Cross wants to help him achieve that goal because, what Nea wants to do, is not completely destroy humanity, like Mana does, but reform it instead. By having Cross's innocence be named Judgement, Hoshino is trying to show us that Cross agrees with this sentiment. And that, he too, wants to get rid of the bad side of humanity. This could also tie into why Bookman seems to have allied himself with Nea in the past, for, throughout his entire life all he has seen is never ending war. Let me explain, when the Earl tried to destroy humanity all of those years ago, he caused Noah's flood, which destroyed most of the planet but, as we all know, beget the Noah family. If his plan really was to completely destroy humanity, then why is it that the NOAH FAMILY, who SUFFERED DIRECTLY FROM THE FLOOD, chose to HELP THE EARL? Wouldn't it make more sense if the only human survivors decided to, you know, fight the dude that tried to kill them all? The answer is no. As, if we refer back to what Road said all the way back in the beginning of the series: "God also wants humanity to be thrown in the pit of fire." and, that they were "the true apostles chosen by God himself." Based on those lines, we can safely assume that the noahs goal is not to drive humanity to extinction. But instead create a new race of sinless humans, like noah in the Old Testament. This would also explain why there are several noahs, like Tyki and Sheril, who - even though they say they want to destroy humanity - still have humans they care about. For Tyki, it's his troupe. For Sheril, it's his faux family and wife. What the noahs always wanted to destroy was not humanity as a whole, but just the sinful humans. This is where Nea's "puppet of destruction line comes in." He refers to both Mana and Allen as "puppets of destruction" because they both can't see that each side has its own merits. What the current Earl, Mana, wants to do is completely eradicate humanity and cast God out to the darkness (which, as I'm sure I don't have to explain to you, wouldn't make any sense considering Road has stated that she sees the noahs as God's true chosen apostles.). In that case, the Earl is a puppet of destruction because, in his insanity, he's taken his drive to destroy too far. And now wants to destroy everything, including God. The reason Nea calls Allen a puppet of destruction is for a similar reason. As his purpose in life is, technically, to destroy akuma, even though he doesn't really know what the akumas true purpose is. All exorcists and the Order see akuma as creatures to be destroyed, even though that isn't really the case. As we've seen with Eliade, akuma can have feelings - if they want to - for other people. They can love, hate, fear, and detest other people. They are, in affect, humans. As Kanda has stated earlier in the series "suffering is the path that will lead us to salvation." (which seems to be an extremely common theme in D.Grayman) Akuma serve a different purpose than just being mindless murder machines. As, the true purpose of akuma is to be an integral part in humanity freeing itself from sin. Just think about the process: -Akuma start off as EGGS, with a chain tying the soul to them -They then slowly morph and change, with every iteration having the soul they were made with becoming more and more fused with the akuma body. -Then, in the forth iteration of an akuma, they grow wings and a halo, and the soul is now almost completely part of the machine. And, as several people have stated, they look angelic. It's very possible that akuma are supposed to be the next stage in the ascension of a human. And, by mindlessly destroying them, exorcists are freeing the souls from the suffering that will lead to their salvation. So, in summary: -Nea wants to kill Mana to free him from insanity, this is what Road means when she says he "fought for Mana." -Nea wants to fulfill the Noah's true purpose, which, as Road alluded to herself, is to undergo another purging of sinners, thus ushering in another era of humanity. They are God's true apostles, and the ones who will expunge the sinful sub-humans from the world. Mana, the puppet of destruction who is insane, just wants to destroy everything, including God. -And finally, akuma are definitely an important step in this "ascension process." ---------[PART 3, who the hell is Allen? And what's the deal with Tyki and Sheril?]---------------------- Now this is the part of my theory that I am most proud of, as, even if some segments of this theory are proven to be false (in which case, I'd be shocked) I am almost certain that this is completely right. As Hoshino has foreshadowed every single part of the theory that I am about to describe. Before we cover Allen, however, we first need to focus on the two black sheep in the noah family, Of course, I am talking about Tyki and Sheril. These two have been repeatedly shown as parallels to the two halves of Past!Earl which Road (KEC) raised. However, there is an issue that I am shocked nobody has noticed by now: and that is, Tyki and Sheril are BROTHERS. Like, actual brothers. They didn't just meet after becoming noahs, they are both actual siblings. However, in that case, how in the world are they both so damn similar to Nea and Mana? For continuities sake, let's get the parallels out of the way first: Tyki: his parallel is obviously Nea. -they both look the same -have been stated multiple times by Road and Wisely that he "reminds them" of Nea. -And, as I've established above, both share a different view of humanity than the Earl (Mana) does. Now Sheril: Who's parallel is Mana. -First, he has long hair similar to Mana's. -He's much more crazy than his brother Tyki, which is an excellent parallel to Mana and Nea's relationship. -And he is obviously attracted to Road. Which would make sense, as, in the past, Road seemed to serve as a crutch of sorts for Mana. There are numerous panels where we see her cradling Mana, which suggests this. And, as I've already established above, she's KEC. But this is where things get weird. The thing is, Hoshino has established that these similarities are important, and not coincidences. As Tyki, with every passing chapter, seems to be becoming more and more like Nea. However, there is also another factor to this that really drives these strange similarities home: that Road seems to care for Tyki and Sheril a LOT. -When Allen sliced Tyki in two, she went ballistic, and nearly skewered him and everyone else. Even when Skinn died she didn't go THAT crazy. And, since the very beginning of the manga, it has been established that she has been close to Tyki. Oh yeah, and did I mention that, when she was cradling Tyki in the ark, she was holding him in the EXACT SAME WAY she held Mana all that time ago in the Campbell mansion. -When it comes to Sheril, however, the connection is a bit less obvious. However, she definitely has a soft spot for Sheril, as she agreed to become his adoptive daughter. Remember, she didn't have to do this, she could've just changed forms and live by herself. But she didn't do that, instead, she literally joined Sheril's faux family. The more important facet of this is Sheril's unnatural attraction to her. As far as we know, there haven't been any other mention of Noah's falling THAT-HARD for another member of the family. Hell, when he was interrogating Bookman, Fidra and Tyki were both shocked by just how much Road's disappearance affected the man. He sees Road in a similar way that Road sees Tyki. Granted, Road doesn't love Tyki like Sheril loves her. But all of this establishes that there's a connection between the three of them that simply makes them closer than the other noahs. Except for one person, of course, and that's the Earl. And this is the reason why: Now, when you read this, I want you to keep in mind Road's age. And, even when Nea and Mana were young, she was KEC, and was far older. Old enough to have kids. Now, I want you to keep in mind that Sheril and Tyki are both relatively-young. Both of them HAVE to be thirty or less as the Noah family needed time to rebuild after Nea killed all of them. And, after just looking at them and their actions, it's obvious that they're both thirty, or under. (POST REDDIT EDIT: A kind soul on reddit told me that Sheril and Tyki are both thirty-four and twenty-seven. However, that changes nothing, as it would still put them within the thirty-five year gap between Nea's death and the present) Which means, they were both born at the same time, and then both just HAPPENED to become noahs who are just like the two halves of Past!Earl. And they both have a strangely-closer connection to Road than the other noahs. You want to know why? It's because Tyki and Sheril are Road's actual kids. Nea and Mana weren't her kids, they were just the two halves of Past!Earl. And, as we already know, Road is definitely old enough to have children. Especially during the time after Nea's attack. This would explain: A.) Road's connection with Tyki, why she held him exactly like she did Mana, and why she went near ballistic when Allen cut him in two. B.) Why Sheril is so attracted to her, because, even though he's the noah of desire, he's being affected by Mana's own feelings of admiration towards Road, who has been with the Earl since the very beginning. And, as I'm sure you all can remember, why he seems to be so batshit crazy. Just like Mana. "A-ha! I've got you now, Sweetcreems!" You yell as you rapidly start to type your response to disprove this theory. "You said yourself that it's almost impossible for Nea and Road to be lovers, since she is KEC. And, since - if Tyki and Sheril were her kids - they'd have to be born after Nea's death, there'd be no way for her to actually have kids." "Ha! You just sit down you uneducated swine!" I scream as I pimpslap you. "Because there IS a person who is the proper age to be Tyki and Sheril's father, AND who was around after Nea's death!" You want to know who that is? Well I'll tell you, it's Past!Allen baby! Past!Allen, for those of you who don't know, is a person who looks like Allen that Nea referred to in one of his flashbacks. He was also heavily implied to be a close personal friend of Nea's, one of the few that was actually human, and was a person who was almost definitely Bookman's dead apprentice. Past!Allen is also the one who agreed to take Nea's memories upon his death, and, after some lines spoken by Nea, is almost confirmed to be Allen before he became, well, you know, Allen. We know that Past!Allen was exceptionally close with the noah family. As he managed to convince Nea to give him his memories, and it is Past!Allen that Mana eventually named his dead dog over. We also know that, given his level of education and other clues, that he was Bookman's dead apprentice. And was there with Bookman when they were tagging along with the noah family for records. Now, all that stuff above is information pretty much already known by the community. However, this is where my theory comes in. Remember, earlier in this post when I was discussing how the "Road and Nea are lovers theory" doesn't hold ground? Because she could have no idea, at the time, that Allen was the 14ths host? You do? Good. Because the reason why Road loves Allen is because he reminds her, obviously, of Past!Allen. Think about it: -Their personalities are very similar, as Past!Allen was a massive influence on Mana, who then passed those traits down to Allen when he was traveling with him. -Both Allen and Past!Allen have similar white hair. -Both of them had an intense love for life. For Allen, it was in the form of saving other people. For Past!Allen, it was in his bookman knowledge and with the helix of life. It's fairly obvious that, at the time of Nea's death (he was 15 at the time), Past!Allen was far older. Unlike Nea, he was fully grown and mature. And, for obvious reasons, cared a lot for Nea, Mana, and his family. This is where the bookmen side of things comes in. When Bookman took Past!Allen with him to record history, Past!Allen befriended Nea, Mana, and, eventually, Road. As Road's actions towards Allen obviously show, she and Past!Allen had become lovers after Nea's death. It was Past!Allen who fathered Tyki and Sheril. Which is why they are so similar to Nea and Mana in terms of personality and other things, as their mom was the same person who raised both Nea and Mana. This is why Road falls in love with Allen, not because he reminds her of Nea, but because he reminds her of Past!Allen, his old self, and her old lover. And, given how close Past!Allen seemed to be with the family, this would make sense. This would also explain why Bookman is so adamant about making sure that Lavi "detaches himself" from his comrades. It's because he KNOWS that his old, fully-grown, apprentice fell in love with one of the people they were supposed to be recording. And that this was probably one of the reasons that led to Past!Allen's eventual death. And speaking of death, we can now arrive at the final part of this theory. Namely, how the hell did Past!Allen, who was old as hell, become young and, suddenly, now has innocence embedded in his left arm? This is the part that I really geeked-out over when I realized this, so get ready: -Okay, so according to my theory, we know that Road and Past!Allen were lovers, and probably had kids who are probably Tyki and Sheril. During some point after their birth, they were probably put up for adoption before becoming noahs once again. -However, for this theory - and a whole lot of CANON plotpoints to fit together - Past!Allen couldn't have died directly after Nea's death. As he'd have to go a full fifteen years before we can get into the timeframe where the Allen we know and love came to be. Plus, we know that Cross couldn't have had a hand in Allen being the host, as he never knew that Allen was the host until the day where he met Mana. So here's what happened: For fifteen years Road and the Earl were the only two noahs left, it was in this period that the other noahs memories were recovering. As, based on Wisely's recovery time, we know that it took the rest of them at least that long for their memories to properly heal. For fifteen years, Past!Allen lived with Road, and it's in this time where the Earl was just focusing on rebuilding his armies. And then, something happened to Past!Allen that led to his death. Taking Nea's memories along with him. NOTE THAT THIS DEATH WOULD LINE UP NICELY TO WHEN BOOKMAN STARTED LOOKING FOR ANOTHER APPRENTICE. As it would be only a few years after Past!Allen's death that Bookman would start looking for another apprentice. However, as we know, if Past!Allen died. Then how the hell does he come back, as a child, with no memories, and with innocence? Well, as Nea puts it when he stares angrily at Allen's left arm: "Allen doesn't recognize me, and he's... gotten younger? Why is that?" He then looks down and thinks: "This must be your fault." And you know what? He's right. BUT NOT IN THE WAY THAT THIS COMMUNITY VIEWS IT. Most theories I see have this step go somewhat like this: "Uhhh... the innocence caused Allen's body to rewind." HOWEVER, MY FRIENDS, IF THAT'S THE CASE, THEN WHY IS HIS HAIR COLOR DIFFERENT?! Before you laugh, let me saw that I'm dead serious. Past!Allen had snow white hair, like Allen does now, AND HE WORE GLASSES. However, the Allen we know had bright red hair, perfectly fine eyes, and looks nothing like Past!Allen. "So what is it then?" You ask "Did he implant the innocence into himself, or something like that?" "Haha!" I laugh, "Sorry but you're wrong again!" Because, guess what? As Bookman had stated Past!Allen died. He didn't engrave something into his arm and revert back to a child. No, what happened is that, after his death, he got a different body. This is where the Alma Karma arc comes in. We know that, before Komui finally stepped in and changed things, that the Order was not a nice place. They did experiments where they'd take blood relatives and force innocence upon them, turning them into fallen ones. Or, in Kanda's case, they'd take dead exorcists brains and put them in new bodies. However, there's one aspect to all of this that we've never touched, and that's the parasite type. Tell me, what do you think happens when a parasite-type exorcist goes brain dead? As we've seen with Marie, Hoshino shows us that disabled-exorcists are a thing. And, when this happened in the past, the old Order would go the Kanda route and take their brains out. However, what do you do when the innocence is a parasite type attached to a brain dead host? Going by above, the logical answer is obvious: Just scoop out the brain and put a new one in. And, my friends, what better brain to use than that of a recently-deceased bookman? Here's the lowdown: the Order found Past!Allen's dead body, figured out that he was a bookman, and then decided to place Past!Allen's brain in the body of a brain dead parasite-type exorcist. They gave this new body the works. And, like with Kanda, wiped the memories of the man's past life to ensure synchronization. This is why Allen remembers nothing of his past life, and why it seems like he was born with his innocence. Because the Order wiped his memories! Sadly, for the scientists, innocence has a really bad habit of going crazy when being brought back from the dead. And, as we've seen time, and time, and time, and time again, Allen's innocence doesn't require him to be conscious to be able to use it. When synchronization was achieved, the innocence went Alma on their asses, and killed everyone. This is why: A.) Nobody remembers him, cause they're all dead. B.) Why Allen's innocence seems so unique, because it does, in essence, have a mind of its own. From then on Allen would wake up alone, wander the streets, and finally, join the circus where he'd meet Mana. From here on out, you all know the rest. So, in summary, here's the lowdown of this fat-ass theory: -Road is actually Katerina Eve Campbell, which is why she's ALWAYS be around. -Road raised Nea and Mana, Mana went insane, injuring her - but not killing her - forcing her to keep her actual body in Campbell mansion. Where, remember, Allen is going to find answers which, as Hoshino has stated in numerous interviews, Road has ALL of them.

-Road had children with Past!Allen, she likes Allen because of his white hair, and the fact that his personality reminds her of him. The NeaRoad theory doesn't hold ground because there is no way that she'd have any inkling that Allen was Nea's successor at that time, and because their personalities are completely different. -The children Road had are Tyki and Sheril. The two twins who won the lottery and somehow BOTH managed to become noahs. This explains why she seems to share a deeper connection with them than the other noahs. And why the Earl has a soft spot for Tyki, because he reminds him of Nea. -Past!Allen died, and his brain was used in a second-exorcist like experiment that, since it was a parasite type, they couldn't use a second-exorcist-like healing factor. This worked, and this is why Nea says its the "Innocence's fault" that Allen doesn't remember him. Because, in the process of Allen having his brain transferred, he forgot all memories of his past life. There, boom, D.Grayman fucking solved, I'm so happy with this theory so please, if you want, ask some questions if you're curious. P.S. Like I said above, this theory was originally posted on my reddit profile on the r/D.grayman reddit. Many people asked questions, which I answered. So, if you have an idea on how this theory might not work, I might've already proved that wrong on the reddit page. Or, who knows! Maybe I'm completely off. I'm honestly just curious to see what you guys think. And so, thanks for reading.

[lechevaliermalfet]

West Across the Sand: A Look Back at Kazan

When I first got into anime and manga, I was in my mid-teens, and it was the mid- to late 90s.  And at least in my part of the world, it was a little like joining a secret society.  You practically had to already know someone on The Inside, and it was like getting initiated.  Whoever had been into it longer than you would want to show you the classics of the era: Ranma ½, Tenchi Muyo! (Which one?  All of them), Akira, Vampire Hunter D, or any number of choice others.  Soundtracks (if you were into that sort of thing) were hard to come by, and most of the ones I found locally came courtesy of either Son May or EverAnime – companies I later found out were Taiwanese bootleggers.  You could tell the discs were bootlegs because the prices were reasonable.

In those days, getting fansubs meant sending blank VHS tapes to total strangers you’d found online, and waiting weeks (or longer) to get them back with anime on them, and everybody had the Anime Web Turnpike bookmarked.  There’s still a website at its URL, though Wikipedia states it’s been offline as of 2014.  

If you want to know where anime got its reputation for violence and sex, this particular era is where you want to look.  The market for anime was small in those days, and the licensors and distributors really had no idea how to expand it.  So a lot of them (in particular Streamline, Urban Visions, and U.S. Manga Corps; now all defunct) catered to the exploitation-flick market – the gore-hounds and the porn junkies, and the people we would have called edgelords if the term had been invented yet.

This was a time when you could use the word “Japanimation” utterly without irony, and there was a good chance that nobody hearing it would cringe.

Manga, meanwhile, was a total wilderness.  You couldn’t find it in bookstores back then.  That you can today is thanks to Tokyopop.  Whatever their numerous and varied sins, they can claim to have done that bit of good, at least.  And Amazon and Ebay were somewhere off over the horizon.  So you had to go to your local comic book shop, and then you had to look around for yourself, because chances were that even the people who worked there didn’t know what in the hell you were talking about.

Most of the manga that was available came through Viz and Dark Horse (and maybe other avenues I’ve forgotten).  But mostly Viz.  Dark Horse got their hands on some great stuff (Ghost in the Shell and Blade of the Immortal, just to name two), but Viz got more stuff, and a wider variety of it.

At the tail-end of the 90s, there was the beginning of an anime boom that lasted until about the mid-aughts.  I was at one of Crispin Freeman���s Q&A panels at Anime Central a couple of years ago, and he likened it to a tide rolling in about every decade. The tide comes in, hits a high-water mark, and recedes.  Then it comes in again, a little higher this time, and recedes.  In the late 90s, the tide came in and largely stayed in.

A large part of this, I think, was Toonami, which took a crowbar (part Dragon Ball Z and part Gundam Wing at the start, followed by others later) to the whole situation and forced the door wide open.  A lot of what they showed was very commercial and fairly “safe” (or at least, could be made safe), but it accomplished what Astro Boy and Speed Racer and Starblazers and Robotech before had never managed, which was to make anime into a minor phenomenon.

In the wake of that sudden explosion, there were a ton of smaller and less established entities who got into the business.  More of these, so far as I can remember, went into manga rather than anime (though there were a few new anime companies, like SynchPoint).  It was probably cheaper than trying to get in on the anime side of things.  Suddenly, we had Tokyopop (first under their Mixx Manga label, then later their own name), and DrMaster, and ComicsOne (whose publications were later taken over by DrMaster when ComicsOne vanished into the ether in 2005; DrMaster would follow suit themselves, just four years later), and Yen Press, and Studio Ironcat, and Seven Seas…  Even reputable publishers like Del Rey got in on the act after a while.

It was an exciting time to be a fan, to have so many new avenues available through which to explore the hobby, each trying to find new and exciting material in order to carve out their own niche.  Today, a lot of these publishers don’t exist.  The market was growing, but didn’t ultimately grow enough to allow room for them all.  

A certain part of me actually misses the bad old days.  Like any rational person, I’m happy that one of my major interests is now at least sort of mainstream, easy to access, and at least somewhat cheaper (nowadays, companies like Aniplex only want an arm and a leg for a boxed set of Kara no Kyoukai; back in the day, they’d have demanded your firstborn).  If nothing else, the release schedules are infinitely better.  But there was something about being a fan back then that made me feel like I was a part of something, some group, some tribe.  There was a feeling of having some hidden, secret knowledge, of knowing a whole language of fandom that other people didn’t understand, of having a line on something other people didn’t know about and didn’t get.

Really, though, I think what I miss most is the newness of my hobby.  I miss it being strange and wonderful and full mostly of unknowns, of things yet to be seen and experienced.  I miss knowing that twenty years ago, if I’d come across a copy of Beast King GoLion in a vendor’s stall, I would have lost my damn mind.  Now, I just go “Huh. Neat,” and put it on my Amazon wishlist.

A few months ago, I was going through my old manga, and came across the three volumes of Kazan I owned, out of a seven-volume run.  They were some of the first manga I’d bought in what was, at the time, the newer (smaller) size format that’s now standard for manga. Mirror-imaging, or “flopping” the artwork was still common at the time, although that practice was on its way out.  If there’s one other thing we can all thank Tokyopop for, it’s normalizing the right-to-left format for manga in the U.S.

Kazan was written and drawn by Gaku Miyao, who was probably most famous for his character design work on the Devil Hunter Yohko OVA from the mid-90s.  It was published in the U.S. by ComicsOne from 2001 to 2005.  It’s out of print now, and it was never enough of a thing that anybody else cared to pick up the license after they vanished into the ether.

It doesn’t shock me that ComicsOne went under, really.  They didn’t only release total unknowns, mind.  They got Onegai Teacher and Onegai Twins.  There was also Tsukihime: Lunar Legend (though that franchise has played second fiddle to its younger sibling Fate for a long while now).  On the other hand, they also published Jesus, and the prophet from Nazareth has never really been what you’d call a favorite character in the anime fandom.  Then as now, almost nobody in the fandom stans Christ.  Except maybe Vic Mignogna, and, well...

I remember it being new and exciting when I was reading it.  Now, looking back, it’s very much a relic of its times.  Given that ComicsOne began U.S. publication of it in 2001, I’m guessing the manga was probably published in the mid- to late 90s in Japan.  The artwork is a lot closer in style to what you’d see back then, as well as the character tropes and archetypes.  

I’d always meant to pick up the remaining volumes – certainly I’d liked what I’d read – but I’d fallen behind on collecting them as they came out, and they were hard to find later on.  Kazan was never a major item on anybody’s radar.  It’s so minor that even danbooru has no images of it.  At least, none tagged.  Fucking danbooru.

My curiosity about the later events of the series had been going strong for close to two decades, so I finally broke down and bought the remaining volumes in an Ebay auction… and then didn’t read them, I guess because now that I had them, I could take my time.

I finally got around to re-reading the series just recently, and it’s been an interesting slice of nostalgia.

Kazan is a desert-punk story named after its protagonist.  Kazan looks about eight years old, is actually closer to eighteen, and is about ten-thousand percent done with everyone’s shit.  “Surly” doesn’t quite do it justice.  He’s searching for his childhood friend, a girl named Elsie.  

Back when he actually was eight years old, he was approached by a water demon who told him that his father Sheeroc had, in desperation at the prospect of dying alone in the desert, sold Kazan for just a cup of water.  Sheeroc, leader of the nomad clan known as the Red Sand, was at that time questing about for a way to give his people a more grounded way of life.  However, instead of Kazan, the water demon decided to kidnap his childhood friend Elsie, for reasons that go unexplained for most of the story.  The demon also decided to wreck Kazan’s entire village just for good measure, and Kazan winds up the only survivor that he knows of.

Since that moment, he has not physically aged a day.  The reason for this is also left unexplained for most of the manga’s run.  

Suffice it to say that some of his surliness comes from having to constantly prove to people that, despite all appearances, he really is not a child.  A lot of the rest of it comes from the whole “being sold to a water demon” thing.

His only traveling companion in the beginning is a giant white eagle with a red crest, named Kamushin.  The eagle is so large and strong (or Kazan is so small), that he can actually carry Kazan at least for brief periods.  Kamushin seems to be sentient at times, and whether he is or not, he tends to be the most level-headed one in the room.

Aside from the eagle, Kazan’s most easily distinguishable features are his shounen-hero hair, his tall red hat, and his knife, which he wields and throws with frightening accuracy.

It’s not long at all before he gains two additional companions on his journey.  One is Fawna, a young girl capable of manifesting water at will.  This power is a double-edged sword in a desert environment.  It’s helpful while traveling, but the things people might do to have control of her power – and of course, by extension, Fawna herself – mean she has to use the power sparingly.  She and Kazan initially come to blows once her ability is revealed, or rather, Kazan comes to blows.  Fawna comes to bewilderment and confusion in the face of Kazan’s accusations that she must be the water demon who stole Elsie years ago.  Why would she have the same power, otherwise? Eventually, though, he calms down.  As he (and we) get to know Fawna, the idea of her kidnapping anybody seems laughable.

Fawna is making her way west across the desert to a country called Goldene.  She has been summoned there, as Water People (this is the manga’s translation, and we’ll come to that in a bit) frequently are, as they are necessary for the control and upkeep of Goldene’s water supply.  She’s around seventeen, and spends most of the story unaware of Kazan’s actual age.  She seems to not really take his claims of adulthood very seriously.  In fairness, “My name’s Kazan.  I’m not a kid,” – practically his catchphrase, and usually a good sign that someone has a beating on the way – is pretty much exactly what you’d expect a kid to say.

With Fawna having the same water powers as the entity that kidnapped Elsie, and Goldene seemingly a place where people of that sort are gathered, Kazan decides that his quest is pointing him in that direction.  Despite some misgivings, he decides to accompany her.  Luckily, the two of them happen across another companion, an old woman named Arbey who has a talent for making explosives.  She claims to know the way there, having been a citizen of the country herself at some point in her past.

So they go.

Along the way, they are beset by monsters and difficult situations with other travelers, as well as occasional tussles with Messengers, fierce and deadly agents of Goldene out kill Fawna (their reasons are initially unclear) and capture Kamushin, who turns out to be the White Eagle of Goldene, making him an item of high significance.

Part of what initially caught my attention about Kazan was that it reminded me in a vague way of Eden’s Bowy.  This was a show I’d first seen fansubbed at AnimeIowa in 2000.  If you want another really good example of just how different things were back then, there it is: Conventions would show fansubs, because the industry had virtually no presence at any of them except maybe the absolute biggest, so they could get away with it.  I was nursing a minor obsession with Eden’s Bowy at the time.  The three or four episodes I’d seen at the convention had grabbed my attention for reasons I’m not entirely sure I understand.  Part of it was the creeping doubt over whether the show would ever get picked up for U.S. release (it did, in fact), and I figured I was unlikely ever to see it again.  So anything that put me in mind of it got my attention.

As it happens, the similarities between Kazan and Eden’s Bowy run no deeper than the surface. There are the common elements of a boy in (mostly) white crossing the desert with a mystically empowered young girl and an older adult as companions, and in both stories, they’re seeking out a city that in some fashion lords it over the rest of the setting.  Beyond that, they couldn’t be more different.  For starters, Yorn, the hero of Eden’s Bowy, is kind of the quintessential Idiot Hero of shounen manga and anime: naïve, trusting, and ultimately kind of helpless on his own.  Kazan, meanwhile, is intelligent, self-reliant, and aggressively independent.  Cynical and deeply distrustful, he resists all attempts at friendship or other emotional connection with other characters, and the vulnerability that goes with it.

Kazan isn’t the most likeable character, but his attitude at least makes sense, given his background.  He’s a very (understandably) angry young man trapped in a child’s body, and a lot of his problems come about as a result of his hardening himself against a world that seems destined by turns to betray him and refuse to take him seriously.  When we see him in flashbacks, he’s a sweet kid.  A bit of a crybaby, even.  

Still, in the present of the story, he can sometimes be an unlikeable little shit. His early relationship with Fawna is rocky, and gets violent once or twice throughout the story, which makes me cringe a lot more in 2019 than it did in 2001 or 2002.  In the interests of fairness, I should point out that he gets violent with quite a number of people, and all for the same reason as Fawna, which is that he feels what they are doing is either very wrong or dangerously stupid, or else he sees them as enemies.  He’s an equal-opportunity asshole, I guess.  So I want to say there’s nothing inherently sexist going on there.  Still, it’s not a good look, and please understand I’m not justifying it by any means.  But I do want to lend context.  

The story does wring a lot of natural tension out of the relationship between Kazan and Fawna as natural foils to each other.  Where Kazan trusts nobody and prefers to operate alone, Fawna is naïve and occasionally trusting of the wrong sorts, which gets her into trouble more than once.  And she has a tendency, early on, to lash out with her power in anger or to harm others.  This is sometimes for self-defense, but sometimes also motivated by anger.  Kazan is – oddly, given that he’s otherwise the one more comfortable with the occasional necessity of violence – adamant that she not do this.  Memorably, one of the times he’s violent with her is to stop her from doing something of that sort.  

The manga doesn’t ever really spell out Kazan’s hangup about Fawna misusing her water powers, but I have a guess.  I imagine that it has a lot to do with his initial association of Fawna’s water power with the water demon that kidnapped Elsie ten years prior.  He has a strong (but never quite articulated) belief that in a desert world, anyone with the power to create water – in practical terms, the power to support and sustain life – should not use that power for evil ends.  Fawna using her power only for good helps to mark a clear distinction between her innate goodness and the wickedness of the water demon.

Kazan himself, perhaps surprisingly given his anger and foul attitude for much of the story, tends to pull his punches.  He’s not above beating his attackers silly and occasionally dishing out pain to those he feels are deserving.  But he goes out of his way to spare people on a number of occasions, and when someone sharpens his knife to such an edge that it can cut stones, he actually requests that it be dulled again so that he doesn’t kill someone by mistake.

Refreshingly, there’s no will-they-won’t-they pseudo-romance between Kazan and Fawna.  I don’t object to a romance angle in a story in principle, but it often gets teased in a story like this, where the two leads are each other’s foils and love interests both, and it’s just done to death.  It tends to get shoehorned in because the creators of these stories (perhaps egged on by their publishers) feel that it’s necessary.  Broadening the demographics, maybe?  But there’s a sort of obligatory feeling to it a lot of the time, as if it’s clearly being done because, well, that’s just what we do with stories like this, right?  It gets to the point where you wonder why anyone bothers teasing it.  We all know from long experience how things are going to end up.  But Kazan is clearly fixed on Elsie and Elsie alone.  He and Fawna are simply friends and partners who, by the end of the story, understand each other, and work together, very well.

Another thing that’s nice about Kazan is the refreshing absence of much cheesecake fanservice.  A few characters are dressed in provocative outfits here and there, but even when that’s the case, the “camera” doesn’t really leer like you might expect.  There are one or two moments that had me sighing and shaking my head – a couple instances of the sadly typical Faux Sexual Assault As Comedy – but at this point I like to think I’m an old vet when it comes to this. It’s disappointing, but it’s the kind of thing you learn to resign yourself to if you’re going read much manga or watch much anime at all.

The final chapters of Kazan rely on a lot of last-minute revelations to explain everything.  It’s not really a matter of deus ex machina exactly so much as it is a matter of insufficient foreshadowing.  It would go down a little easier if some of these ideas had been set up maybe a little earlier in the story.  But it’s hard to complain too much.  Even as it clanks a bit toward the end, it never quite feels like the creator is pulling it out of his ass.  The ideas are sound; it’s their tardiness that’s the problem.  But even if it stumbles a little toward the finish line, Kazan’s ending is ultimately satisfying, and earned.  The last few panels are pretty much perfect, and exactly what I spent most of the manga’s run hoping for.  And of course, there’s still the entire rest of the manga before it, which is certainly worth the read.

If there’s one place where Kazan actually falls flat, it’s the translation. And that, at least, you can’t blame on the original creator.  

You could most charitably describe ComicsOne’s English translation of Kazan as workmanlike.  It’s not really a machine translation, but it does seem at times to veer awfully close to that territory.  It’s there, and things basically make sense; that’s about the best you can say for it.  Ultimately, though, it’s just lacking something.  There are places all over Kazan’s seven-volume run where the phrasing seems bland or off, where it lacks real punch and personality, and where it seems just plain awkward and stilted. There are times when it seems like the characters lack a distinct voice.  Spelling is also inconsistent.  The name of Kazan’s father is spelled Sheeroc in the earlier volumes, but Shiroc in later ones. And there are placement issues as well, where sometimes lines that are clearly meant to be spoken by one character are lumped in with the dialogue in another character’s word balloon.  Overall, the translation is some real amateur-hour work.  This seems to be a trait of ComicsOne; the one volume of the Tsukihime manga I own has some of these same issues.

But this isn’t a problem I can really hold against the manga, since it’s a problem that (to the best of my knowledge) wouldn’t really have existed in the Japanese version.  And it’s hard to fault the original creator for how translators handled his work after the fact.

There’s not much like Kazan out there that I’ve seen.  I don’t have a lot of recommendations in the vein of “If you like X, Y, or Z, then try Kazan.”

Part of the reason I enjoyed Kazan as much as I did is nostalgia.  Not for the story itself, but for the times it puts me in mind of.  The kind of story it tells; the specific way it handles its characters, and manifests their archetypes and tropes; the way it’s drawn; all of it is intensely reminiscent of its time.  There is a certain Look or Aesthetic I’m fond of in anime, and it tends a little toward the particular stylization and combination of traits that was very stereotypical at the time I was getting into it.  But even as that’s a stereotype, there’s something about it that I actually find visually appealing.  I suppose it goes back to my nostalgia.  When this was a new hobby for me, that look was practically shorthand for everything anime stood for.

More than that, it’s a time capsule, a snapshot of how things looked when I was first getting into my hobby.  I’ll probably never again have that feeling of things yet to be seen and done, mysteries yet to be uncovered and explored, at least not with this particular hobby.  But reading something like Kazan, I’m reminded of those times with great intensity.

There’s also the setting.  I have a soft spot for huge, wasteland vistas.  As much as I can recognize that, say, The Weathering Continent is not really a good movie, I still find myself drawn to its world.  This extends into video games as well.  One of the things I loved most about Shadow of the Colossus (either version) was simply wandering its world.  Something about characters surviving in such a hostile, sometimes even decaying environment just grabs my imagination and runs with it.  But I’m picky about these kinds of stories, too.  I prefer my environments and my characters to look and sound and act a certain way.

Despite the inescapable influence of personal appeal, though, I still honestly think Kazan holds up, and is very much worth a read.  It’s not going to be the easiest thing to find, but on the flipside, Kazan was a manga published by a company that never really achieved notability and stayed in business for a grand total of maybe six years at most.  So while the supply has never been very great, neither has the demand.  The prices haven’t gotten exorbitant, and I don’t see that changing in the near future.  

In all, it’s worth the effort to track down if you can.

[nsfw-bnha-and-dangan]

Could I request the ndrv3 guys with a bi female S/O? But they don't find out she's bi until her extremely biphobic ex sees them on a date together and goes to "warn" the guys about her? (with said ex being why she was too nervous to come out to them?)

I love this idea! I’m actually a bi girl myself so I definitely get where this is coming from!

Shuichi Saihara:

You guys were just relaxing at the library, switching novels and manga as you finished them and nuzzling into Saihara’s shoulder

When you glanced up you noticed your ex walking over, your body visibly stiffening at the sight

He wasn’t exactly… accepting of who you were, saying some horrible things after finding out that you were bi

You had kept that part of yourself a secret from Saihara, not wanting the same thing to happen with him

But it looked like your secret was about to come out as your ex came up to Saihara and tapped him on the head.

“Hey, dude, I see your hanging with (Y/N) here. Figured id let you know that she’s a bit of whore, shes probably fucking a few girls behind your back.”

“Excuse me?” Saihara asked, confusion and anger bristling up inside him.

You were already close to tears, digging your nails into your palms and refusing to look at either of them

“Yeah, she likes chicks too. What, she didn’t tell you? Figures, makes it easier to eat pussy behind your back. Sorry to burst your bubble, man, but I’m doin’ you a favor.”

Your ex walked off and you burst into tears, trying to be quiet since you were in a library. “I-I’m not… I’m not cheating on you, I s-swear!”

Saihara pulled you close and wiped your tears, trying to keep other peoples attention from you. “I know, I know you wouldn’t. But… was the other part true?”

You nodded, taking a shaky breath. “Y-yeah… I’m bi, Shuichi, a-and I wanted to tell you but… my ex broke up with me on the spot when I told him and I r-really don’t want to lose you!”

You started crying again, hiccuping when you felt a kiss pressed to your hair. “I would never break up with you, especially not over your sexual preferences. You like who you like, there’s nothing wrong with that. I trust you and I know you would never cheat on me.”

You smiled softly as Saihara pulled you up, neatly putting your books back on a cart to be reshelved and taking you home for some cuddles and crime shows, the best date you could think of with no chance of being yelled at by your ex

Kaito Momota:

Kaito was eagerly leading you around the space museum, pulling you from exhibit to exhibit with the biggest grin on his face.

Perhaps you weren’t as into space travel as your boyfriend but you were having fun nonetheless

Well, you were anyways

Seeing your ex, who apparently worked there now, immediately had you hiding behind Kaito, shaking and trying to convince him to leave.

“Just a sec babe, I just want to finish reading this. We’ll go to that little cafe you like, I promise!”

It was too late anyway, your ex had already spotted you and made his way over, crossing his arms.

“Shocked to see you hanging around a guy now, after what you told me. Or maybe he’s just for show so you can fuck all the chicks you want and not get called out for it.”

You whimpered as Kaito turned around, touching your arm gently in hopes of calming you. “What the fuck, asshole! I don’t know what the hell you’re talking about but you need to leave, I’m not going to let you talk to my girlfriend like that!”

“Hah, seriously? You haven’t told him that you like both cock and pussy? That’s honestly hilarious, poor guy has no idea how much a little slut you are! Telling you now, buddy, might want to drop her before you catch her scissoring with some slut.”

That was it for Kaito, no one talks about his girl like that! So he punched your ex square in the face and walked off, pulling you behind him until you got outside

You were crying when you sat down on the bench, fighting to breath as Kaito rubbed your back gently.

“Hey, sweetie, it’s okay. Shh, I got you, I won’t let him do anything to hurt you, I promise!”

“Y-you must think I’m h-horrible after what he said…”

Kaito shook his head quickly, drying your tears with his jacket sleeve and making sure your ex hadn’t followed you out

“No, honestly I didn’t really get what he was saying, something about you liking girls? If… if your gay i-”

“I’m not gay, just b-bi… I swear, I love you, i-its not a lie!” You waved your hands quickly, earning a little smile from Kaito

“Hey, its cool, it doesn’t bother me. I wish you would have told me, but if that asshole was the reason you didn’t then I get it. I love you too, babe, and ill make sure he doesn’t touch you again!”

You sniffled and let Kaito pull you into a tight hug, fingers tickling your sides until he got a giggle out of you.

“That’s better! Come on, let’s go to the gift shop! Loser buys the astronaut ice cream!”

You squealed and raced Kaito to the gift shop, his relaxed attitude making you feel much better.

Kiibo:

You had taken Kiibo to the park, laying in the grass to watch the clouds. You kept pointing out little shapes that he struggled to see, overanalyzing and blushing when you kissed him

When a shadow loomed over you, you both sat up, squinting to see who was there.

“Long time no see, (Y/N)”

The second you heard that voice you went pale, it was most definitely your ex-boyfriend, likely here to start something

“W-what are you doing here?”

“Well, I saw you with your little robo-boyfriend here and figured id give him the heads up about your little habit.”

Kiibo looked very confused, looking between you and your ex nervously

“Don’t d-do this…”

“What, and let him get screwed over the same way I did? Listen, dude, I don’t really get your deal but your girlfriend here likes pussy. Actually, that’s probably why she likes you, pretty sure robots don’t have fuckin’ dicks.”

Your ex laughed and walked off, leaving you with silent tears streaming down your face and a very confused boyfriend trying to figure the situation out

“Who was that? And what was he saying about you?”

Before Kiibo could ask any more questions, you kissed him messily, pulling back with a sob

“I-I… he was my ex, we had a really bad break up. A-and he was kind of right. I’m bi, Kiibo.”

“Bi?”

Sometimes you forget that Kiibo doesn’t always get human things so you quickly explain that it meant you liked both girls and guys.

“B-but I love you the most, I would never stray!” You cried, sincerely hoping Kiibo would believe you.

You squeezed your eyes shut, waiting to be hit or yelled at like your ex had done when you told him, but you only felt the cold chill of metal arms wrapping around you

“I’m sorry you felt as though you had to hide that from me. I may not understand sexualities very well but I trust you, I know that you love me. A-as for my… anatomy…”

You shook your head and just nuzzled into Kiibo’s chest, hearing the whir of his fans. “Don’t worry about that, I don’t care. I just want you, Kiibo.”

You refused to let go and Kiibo didn’t mind at all, laying you down and using the blanket to make sure his metal body didn’t hurt you or make you too cold.

You wound up falling asleep on Kiibo for a few hours as he stroked your hair, feeling an overwhelming amount of emotion for you as you slept

Gonta Gokuhara:

Gonta had taken you to a bug exhibit at the science museum! He was rushing all over the place, pointing out all the bugs to you and telling you their scientific names without pause.

While bugs weren’t exactly your favorite thing in the world, you loved watching Gonta when he got so excited, bouncing around like a small child.

You had been checking out some of the butterflies when you heard Gonta’s curious voice above the others in the exhibit, catching your attention.

“Gonta doesn't… understand.”

“Wow, she really knows how to pick’em, jeez. But yeah, I’m warning you, you’re going to catch her in bed with some bitch, she’s a total slut. I was smart enough to cut her the hell off before it happened and I recommend you do the same.”

Your ex walked off and Gonta looked even more confused, glancing from your ex to you repeatedly. You quickly made your way over, pulling Gonta to an empty hall and making sure your ex wasn’t around

“G-Gonta doesn’t really know what just happened… that man said really mean things about (Y/N)…”

You nodded, sighing softly. “T-that was my ex-boyfriend, Gonta. And… h-he was talking about him I’m bi.”

“Bye? (Y/N) is leaving?”

You almost giggled, taking Gonta’s hand and holding it tightly. “No, um… Bisexual, it means I like girls and guys the way most girls just like guys.”

Gonta nodded, smiling softly. “Oh! Gonta understands that! (Y/N) likes having boyfriends or girlfriends! But why was (Y/N)’s ex saying such mean things about it?”

“He’s the reason I never told you, when I told him, he, u-um…” You teared up and Gonta scrambled to hug you, nuzzling your hair.

“He said mean things to (Y/N), right? Gonta is very glad he is your ex now, (Y/N) deserves a true gentleman! A gentleman would never call his girlfriend those mean things!”

You smiled into Gonta’s chest, pulling back to kiss him sweetly. “That’s why I’m with you now, because your the best gentleman and I love you, I promise I would never cheat on you.”

“Gonta knows! If (Y/N) was a boy she would be a great gentleman!” You blushed a little, that was some of the highest praise from Gonta and it had you smiling, feeling much better than before

Kokichi Ouma:

It was one of the rare days when Ouma was content with a simple date at a cafe, the two of you sharing a miniature cake.

“Mmm, (Y/N)-chan? Can you get me one of those sweet coffee thingys?” You winced, the last thing Ouma needed was caffeine, but you gave him a kiss and went up to the counter to order the horribly sweet drink

When you glanced back over someone had taken your seat, another glance had all the color leaching from your face. It was your ex and based on the look on Ouma’s face, he didn’t have anything nice to say.

The second the coffee was put into your hand you walked back over, just in time to hear the end of the conversation.

“Hey, no need to get all pissy. I’m just trying to warn you before you wind up walking in on her and some other chick with their legs in the air. Maybe you’ll get lucky and they’ll invite you to join, eh?”

Your ex laughed and smirked at you, moving to get up before Ouma’s hand shot out and grabbed his shirt, an eery smile on his face

“So that’s what you think of her, hmm? Listen, buddy. I’m the leader of a very large, very evil organization. And with one phone call, I can have a few of my followers come to your house in the middle of the night. They will tie you down, strip you naked, and turn you into the biggest laughing stock the world has ever seen. And that if I’m in a good mood. Now fuck off before I have to pull out my phone, got it?”

Your ex sighed and walked out, waving a hand in annoyance. Ouma pulled you to sit, taking his coffee and looking you over. “That wasn’t a lie, by the way. I could totally get DICE to do that.”

“T-thanks…” You managed a shaky smile and took a bite of the cake, blinking back tears.

“(Y/N)-chan! Stop looking so sad, ill cry too!”

“Sorry, Kokichi, I just… you weren’t bothered by what he said?”

Ouma shrugged and sipped his coffee, grinning as the sugar filled his system. “What, that you like girls too? I’m bi too, doesn’t bother me.”

You blinked, Ouma was bi? Well, that certainly made things interesting. You smiled softly and took a sip of your own drink.

“Awe come on! You still look all upset! Let’s go to headquarters and play that game you bought!”

Ouma grabbed his coffee and his cake, pulling you outside with his free hand as you stumbled and tried not to fall.

But a couple rounds of Twister with a very hyper (and handsy) Ouma was more than enough to lift your spirits, ending up in a tickling match that had you breathless and giggling.

Rantarou Amami:

The two of you were shopping at the mall, Amami helping you find a dress for a relative’s wedding, when it happened.

Apparently, your ex had finally found a job because he was working at the first store you peeked into, coming up to Amami as you ducked into a changing room

“Hey, dude. I see you’re with (Y/N) there and I figured id give you a heads up about her. She likes chicks, so I figured you’d want to know before you see for yourself.”

“What are you talking about?”

Your ex laughed at Amami’s growing confusion, not realizing the unbridled anger brewing inside him. “Don’t bother asking for a threesome either, little slut likes to keep the bitches for herself.”

“Alright, you need to stop. My girlfriend is wonderful and I know she would never cheat on me, regardless of her sexuality. I don’t know why the two of you broke up but it looks like it was for good reason if this is how you spoke to her. (Y/N), get dressed, we aren’t going to buy anything here.”

You quickly got dressed and followed Amami out, letting him lead you into another store and hiding in a changing room.

“Alright, so I have a feeling there’s something you need to tell me?”

You nod and sit on the bench, Amami holding your hand reassuringly.

“S-so, you probably figured out that I’m bi… I hope it isn’t a problem for you, I swear i-”

Amami leaned down and kissed you sweetly, cutting you off. “Whoa, it’s okay. Two of my sisters are bi, its no big deal. Your not the kind of person who would sleep around, I trust you. Your ex, or whoever he was, isn’t worthy to be around you. You can tell me anything, okay? No matter what, we’ll have a conversation about it and get it figured out, I promise.”

You smiled and stood up to hug him, pressing your face into his chest and relishing in the warmth.

“We still need to find your dress, princess, as much as I would like to stay in here all day.”

You giggled and popped out of the changing room, letting Amami pick out some dresses for you try on, your worries melting away.

Korekiyo Shinguuji:

Korekiyo had convinced you to go around the history museum, spouting off facts as you went from exhibit to exhibit.

It may not have been your favorite date in the world but Korekiyo was clearly in his natural habitat so you were content, it was quite cute to see him bustling around to look at artifacts

It was going great up until a much too familiar face made its appearance, your ex tapping Korekiyo on the shoulder so you would both turn around.

“Well shit, I thought you were a chick. Oh well, this works. Dude, I saw you with (Y/N) and I figured id warn you about her. Shes, like, half lesbian or some shit. Either way, figured you would want to know so you can cut your losses. See ya!”

Before either of you could speak he was gone, leaving you shaking with tears in your eyes, clinging to Korekiyo’s arm. “O-oh god… fuck, I wasn’t going to tell you, I’m s-so sorry Kiyo!”

You were crying hard now and Korekiyo was quick to lead you somewhere else with fewer people, gently rubbing your back.

“Shh, darling, it’s okay. It’s quite common for humans and even animals to have sexual preferences outside of the opposite sex, there’s nothing wrong with that.”

He spoke gently, letting you cry yourself out until you were able to relax a little, getting you to sit down.

“M-my ex… when I told him he f-freaked, he accused me of c-cheating and called me n-names. I was too scared to tell you, I d-didn’t want it to happen again.”

“I would never call you such horrible things, especially when you’ve done nothing wrong. Come on, smile, crying doesn’t suite such a beautiful example of humanity.”

You smiled softly at the compliment, always feeling so special when Korekiyo called you that. Your smile triggered his and you could see it in his eyes as the both of you returned to the exhibit, making sure not to give your ex even a glance as you enjoyed your evening.

Ryoma Hoshi:

You had convinced him to go to a tennis match, the first one in years. The two of you were sitting together, sipping sodas as you watched the players.

“Ryoma, can you explain how this works to me? They keep calling things out but I don’t get it…”

“Love means zero, and-”

He was interrupted by a tap on his shoulder, turning around to see your ex. He had seen a picture before and knew it had ended badly, so why was he talking to you guys?

“Dude, aren’t you that tennis pro who went to jail?”

“Why do you care?”

“Eh, doesn’t matter. I just figured id give you a heads up about your little girlfriend. I don’t know if she told you but there’s a pretty good chance shes fucking a chick behind your back. I never got lucky enough to catch her in the act but oh well, maybe she’ll let you in.”

With that, your ex returned back to his popcorn, muttering under his breath about the match. You had tears in your eyes and Hoshi could see how much you were hurting, looking into your lap as your nails bit into your thighs

Before he has the chance to do anything, a rogue tennis ball flies from the court and hits your ex square in the jaw, pulling a choked laugh from you

Your ex storms off and leaves you with Hoshi, who is looking at you quizzically.

“I-I guess I should explain, huh?”

“You don’t have to, I pretty much get it. Your, what, bi? Or pansexual?”

You nod at the first option, laying your head on Hoshi’s shoulder and smiling softly. “Yeah, bi. I’m sorry for not telling you but after him… i-i couldn’t.”

A quiet kiss on your forehead calms your worries as Hoshi turns back to the game, continuing his explanation of points to you.

[skyheaven1231]

As fate would have it - Chapter 27

Possible Manga spoilers up until chapter 54 Also this is getting highly suggestive, so here is a nsfw-ish warning!

Chapter 27 - One hell of an evening

Words: 2287

| Read on AO3 |  ,  | wattpad |  ,  | < previous chapter | 

Another week had passed since Yato had found Hiyori's old letters.

Another week that Yukine had escorted Tsuki to school, which was a huge support for the young girl. She didn't have to think about the bad things that happened that way and she also enjoyed the extra time with her big brother. Yukine also enjoyed their time together and the fact that he had found a way to be there for Tsuki. Their daily life was starting to get back to a normal routine and everyone could feel the pressure disappearing with every passing day.

Since it was a weekend and Hiyori didn't have to work, they decided to pay Kofuku and Daikoku a visit. It was about time that the two of them learned about what happened when Yato's father attacked them. They deserved to know the truth. After all they were an important part of their family. They were important to them so there was no reason to keep any more secrets. Being honest was the best way to deal with problems, that was a lesson that Yato had learned during his time with Yukine, Hiyori and Tsuki. It was time for them to be told everything.

They arrived there during noon and were cheerfully welcomed by the pink haired goddess and her Shinki. Daikoku had prepared food for everyone and they sat down eating and talking.

As soon as they finished eating, Tsuki started to make a worried expression.

“What is it Tsuki? You look like something is on your mind”, Yato asked concerned.

“I-It's just that I have this exam coming up next week and I don't know anything. No matter how hard I try to understand I just don't get it”, she explained desperate.

“Well then how about I try and help you?”, Yukine asked, “You guys still have my old textbooks up in the attic right?”

Kofuku nodded and said: “Sure! Everything is still where you left it.”

“Great. Well what do you say, should we give it a try?”, Yukine asked Tsuki.

She smiled happily and followed her big brother upstairs where they started to learn.

“Now that makes me feel old again”, Hiyori admitted.

“Why?”, Kofuku asked surprised.

“It feels like yesterday when I was teaching Yukine up there and now he is helping my daughter out with her studies. I still can't believe how fast time has passed”, the half phantom admitted.

“DAAAAW! You have no reason to feel old Hiyoriiiiiin! For me you haven't changed at all!”, Kofuku cheerfully hugged her friend.

This sentence made Yato remember the horrible conversation he and Hiyori had had the other day. The conversation that he tried to forget but couldn't.

He was reminded how Hiyori would continue to get older and die one day and for the first time, he was wondering how things would have turned out if he wasn't a god.

“You're still not looking too good Yato, you feelin alright?”, Daikoku asked.

“Hm? Oh, y-yeah I'm alright. Just spacing out is all”, Yato answered, earning himself another distressed look from Hiyori.

She knew exactly what he was thinking about right now.

Luckily Daikoku distracted them so their thoughts could get away from this frightening subject.

“So you don't think you are in danger? Because of your father I mean”, the big guy asked.

Kofuku and Daikoku were stunned when Yato told them all about his father and the way he was threatening him and his family. In all those years they knew him, he never once told them about all of this. Not even once. Nevertheless, now everything was out in the open. They knew about his past.

“I don't think we have to worry about him any time soon. If he is retreating for now then he'll be gone for a long time. He always disappears for years until he suddenly shows up again. That's how it's always been”, the blue eyed god explained.

Now that Nora had betrayed him, even if it was for a bare second, Father had other things on his mind.

For now, they wouldn't have to deal with him again which was a huge relieve.

Especially for Tsuki now that she started to get over everything and act like her usual self again.

“Enough with that serious talk!”, Kofuku suddenly spoke up, “We know what happened now and that's alright. Let us have fun for the rest of the evening, there has been enough emotional stuff!”

She didn't even wait until she finished her sentence and immediately stood up and got beer as well as sake and a bottle of wine.

“Let's all have a drink together!”, she cheerfully declared as she placed the bottles on the table and got everyone a glass.

When Kofuku was about to hand Hiyori the sake the half Ayakashi said: “Oh no, no alcohol for me.”

“Whaaaaat? Oh come on Hiyoriiiin, don't tell me you never drank something during the last years. You are an adult now and I always wanted to do this with you but you were still a minor. Pretty pretty pleaaaaaaase!”, the goddess begged.

“I-I never drank that much alcohol to begin with. Someone has to look after Tsuki so I need to stay sober”, she explained trying to refuse her friend's offer.

“Then I won't drink”, Yato barged in, getting skeptical looks from everyone.

“You? Of all people YOU want to stay sober?”, Daikoku asked, trying to hold back a laugh.

“Sure! Why not? I can do it. It's time I take some responsibility for once. After all I'm a dad, about time I start acting like one. You can go ahead and enjoy yourself if you want to Hiyori!”

“See! There are no more excuses now! It's just a drink, what can it hurt?”, Kofuku got all excited so there was no way Hiyori could refuse her offer.

“Alright I guess one sip can't hurt.”

Soon enough, Hiyori would regret this decision.

Kofuku managed to persuade Hiyori into drinking one glass after another and it didn't take long until she was drunk like she had never been before.

Everyone except Yato enjoyed the drinks and with the raising amount of alcohol they started to get really talkative.

“Oh no he didn't!”, Hiyori laughed while Kofuku and Daikoku told her stories about embarrassing stuff Yato did during the time they knew him much to the god's disfavor.

“He did!”, Daikoku laughed, his face showing a little blush from the booze, “Oh and then there was that one time about eight years ago when he and Yukine were crashing every all-you-can-eat restaurants they could find. They ate EVERYTHING until nothing was left. A few restaurants almost had to close because of it and no one knew where all the food went. Ever since then they feared the phantoms that stole all their food and hoped they would never return. Yukine wasn't happy about it at all but he was too hungry at the time so he just went along with it.”

“Oh ma god that's hilariouss!”, Hiyori screamed a can of beer in her hand.

“Stop it already! That is in the past and I helped those restaurants out afterwards to repay for it! No reason to keep rambling about it!”, Yato tried to defend himself.

“Ya've been a bad boy Yato! … hic … Do ya nee me to punish ya?”, Hiyori said, a dangerously seductive look on her face.

Yato started to blush and looked away quickly before she could make a move. The drunk Hiyori was even scarier than her angry self, Yato thought.

“Tellme more! I wanna hear more!”, she demanded.

“No!”, Yato barged in.

“Yesh! Tell me, Tell me! I wanna kno more abou ya!”

Hiyori almost sounded like Kofuku when she wanted to find out about something really badly.

“Oh I know something!”, Kofuku said happily, “ Did you know that your boyfriend once worked as a stripper?” “KOFUKU STOP IT!”, Yato tried to cover Kofuku's mouth but Daikoku stepped in and told him to keep his hands off his goddess.

“That was a job Hiyori! A Job! It was just one evening! I never did it again! And that was a long time ago. You weren't even born back then”, the god tried to defend himself to the giggling girls.

“Ya don need ta be so shy! Ya kno Kofuku, he waslik that as well when we had ou firs time”, Hiyori leaned over to the pink haired goddess who looked more than amused that this conversation was heading into the direction it did.

“OOOOOH he was? Tell me more, tell me more!”

“He was askin if I was alright all tha time … “ “HIYORI! DON'T TELL HER ABOUT THAT!”, Yato screamed, trying to prevent his girlfriend from blurting out something she would regret the other day. If it wasn't already too late for that.

“Why noooot? Is there a problm?”, she asked, taking another sip from her beer before she threw the can on the ground, leaving behind a pile of foam and a wet spot on the floor .

She got dangerously close to Yato who could actually feel his face getting redder and redder. Yato fell on his back, his arms trying to hold him up when Hiyori ran her hand through the hair on his neck. It caused a tickling sensation that only got worse when she started to draw little circles with her thumb.  

Her upper body was now exactly above Yato and her legs between his. The look on her face was something Yato had never seen on her before. Somehow her eyes had a burning conviction behind them that sent shivers down Yato's spine. But strangely, Yato was terrified of her in that exact moment.

Because of the alcohol, she wasn't acting like her usual self and just the thought of it made him feel uneasy. Even though now, she was the one initiating a show of affection.

Kofuku had already started to take a bunch of pictures with her phone squealing like a teenager.

“H-Hi-Hiyori? W-Wha-What a-are you d-doing?”, the god asked with a shaking voice.

“Whaddaya think about anotha child?”, she asked, looking him straight in the eyes.

“N-N-NOW?!?”

Before Yato could panic even more, he noticed that Hiyori's eyes started to look more empty and before he knew it, she fell asleep right on top of him, starting to snore what sounded more like a kitten that was purring on its owner's legs.

Noises coming from the stairs told them that someone was making his way downstairs and  one moment later, Yukine entered the room, carrying a sleeping Tsuki on his back.

“What the hell happened here?”, he asked shocked as he saw his master buried below the sleeping Hiyori.

“Help me!”, Yato whimpered, “Please!” “You got yourself into that situation! You can get out of it yourself!”, Yukine answered coldly.

He didn't know what had happened but he was too tired to ask for details.

It took Yato a while until he wiggled himself away from Hiyori's sleeping body and as soon as he was able to stand up again he picked her up the same way Yukine was carrying Tsuki.

“Alright I think that was enough for today”, the god declared, “We should be heading home so the girls can get some sleep.”

“Alright gotcha”, Daikoku answered and waved goodbye along with Kofuku who seemed to be more than happy about the new photos she had taken. She held her mobile like it was the most important treasure in the world and smiled brightly.

On their way home, Yato asked his Shinki: “How did Tsuki fall asleep?”

“We were learning and it went really good but at one point she just fell asleep and I couldn't wake her up anymore. What about Hiyori? How did you two end up in that position?”

“You don't even wanna know”, was all the god answered.

The next morning Hiyori woke up with a terrible headache. It felt like her head would be exploding any minute and she still felt really dizzy.

As she sat up slowly, the door opened and Yato entered their bedroom.

“Are you finally awake?”, he asked softly, trying to keep his voice down as much as possible.

“What the hell happened yesterday? I can't remember a thing!”, she mumbled, rubbing her eyes.

Yato handed her a cup of steaming tea as he sat down beside her, showing her his phone.

Kofuku had sent him all the pictures she had taken yesterday and so Hiyori looked at herself trying to seduce Yato.

Her eyes that were half closed a second ago shut wide open at the sight of it.

She rested her forehead against Yato's chest, holding on to the cup of tee and said: “Please kill me!”

“No!”, the god answered, “But I won't ever let you drink alcohol again!”

He laughed and kissed her head.

“I called your brother, he'll take over your shift today. How about you lay down again and I prepare a hangover breakfast for you? I can even bring it to you so you can eat in bed.”

“Sounds great. Thank you”, she whispered, still hiding her face in his chest.

When Yato left the room again to prepare breakfast, Hiyori lay down, buried her face in her pillow and promised herself that she would never again let Kofuku convince her to have a drink with her.

Next chapter: Too much 

[bonerofalonelyheart]

I’m bored, deal with it

GET IN MY BUSINESS PLEASE: (stolen from fyeahaskmemes, i’m gonna delete ones I don’t feel like answering bc whatever

The meaning behind my url: Ok, stay with me here, this is complex. The song Owner of A Lonely Heart by Yes, but with Boner instead of Owner.

How many tattoos i have and what they are: 

grief seed on my wrist

level 1 d gray man akuma from the manga on my left shoulder

bad flash tiger on my left forearm

semicolon behind right ear

skull with bat wings on left lower bicep

deaths head moth on upper left bicep

tiger fighting a snake on back of left bicep

astronaut bunny on left forearm

Piercings I have: I used to have seven ear piercings, but they all closed.

Top 5 (insert subject): Bands, I guess, in no order

CAKE

Tool

AJR

Tessa Violet

P!ATD

Tattoos i want: oooh I’m gonna blather a bit with this one!! I have a Lot of Big Plans but no money. I want a daisy chain around my ankle, an astronaut cat opposite my astronaut bunny. I have a folder of pics of weird creatures from illuminated manuscripts and I want to have a sleeve of them, either right upper arm or one of my legs. I want a dagger or sword stabbing through a brain on one of my calves. I want a tiny tiny dainty bird of paradise flower on my boob for a joke. 

Biggest turn ons:

Age: 25 years, 336 days

Ideas of a perfect date: April 25th

Piercings i want: I’d say septum but I got too many nose problems so probably never gonna happen. 

Relationship status: I’m in one

Middle name: Ann

Height: like 5′2″

Are you a virgin? hell nah

What’s your shoe size? 6.5

What’s your sexual orientation? Biiii

Favorite ice cream? the kind that is dairy free bc lactose and I aren’t friends

One insecurity: hip dips

What my last text message says: “poopin”

Have you ever taken a picture naked? ya

Have you ever slept naked? are there people who haven’t??

Have you ever gotten in a car with people you just met? Have you ever heard of Uber? Lyft? 

Have you ever met up with a member of the opposite sex somewhere? Yeah I met my dad for dinner last week

Have you ever left your house without telling your parents? Yeah I lived with them until I was like 25 so yep

Have you ever had a crush on your neighbor? Buddy I’ve never even KNOWN any of my neighbors

Have you ever slept in a bed with a member of the same sex? Every damn night

Have you ever seen someone die? Do movies count?

Have you ever slept in until 3? Which 3? am or pm? the answer is yes.

Have you ever loved someone or miss someone right now?

Have you ever fallen asleep at work/school? Yeah buddy I got me one of them spicy sleep disorders so I do it almost on the daily

Have you ever been to a club? Yes. I went on a date with a “comedian” to a stand-up show he performed in

Have you ever had detention? I had lunch detention once in 8th grade because I was late to class like ten times 

Have you ever been in a car accident? Several

Have you ever slept with someone at least 5 years older or younger? Dude, my boyfriend is five years older than me. I know this is aimed at teens but LMFAO

Have you ever dream that you married someone? Yes I keep having a dream that I married Kenneth from 30 Rock

Have you ever been a cheerleader? Yes! I practiced with the cheerleaders at my first college for a few weeks before I had my mental breakdown and dropped out! Fun!

Have you ever sat on a roof top?

Have you ever brushed your teeth? No, never, I have no teeth. WHAT THE FUCK OF COURSE I HAVE

Have you ever been told you’re hot by a complete stranger? Yeah it’s not fun

Have you ever broken a bone? I fractured my wrist a couple times

Have you ever been easily amused? I am ALWAYS easily amused

Have you ever laughed so hard you cried? Yes

Have you ever forgotten someone’s name? Literally everyone. I sat next to a girl in class for an entire semester and I have no fucking clue what her name is

Give us one thing about you that no one knows. This is honestly a tough question, I’m an open book and bad at keeping my own secrets. My eye doctor told me i have a tigroid fundus once and I haven’t told anyone that because I honestly have no fucking clue what it means even after googling it

[musicprincess655]

“Aniki.”

“Robin.” Haruichi was almost tall enough that he could look Ryou directly in the eye. “We’ve talked about keeping secret identities secret.”

“Everyone here knows we’re related,” Haruichi said. “We have pink hair. You used to be Robin. They already know you’re my brother.”

“It’s still a good practice,” Ryou said. “When you’re in costume, you’re Robin. I’m Nightwing. Your teammates are your teammates.”

“My teammates are my friends.”

Ryou shook his head. He could admit that Haruichi was good at his job, was possibly a better leader for a team like Young Justice than Ryou had ever been, but that didn’t mean Ryou didn’t still worry about him. He hadn’t learned caution the way some of them had.

The Titans were scattered around the Cave, the home base of Young Justice. It was filled with more members than had ever joined before. Ryou had to give them this, they’d done a better job rebuilding than anyone could’ve ever expected. It had started with a core of Haruichi, Seto, and Okumura, who no one had ever expected to join a team. But they’d found Furuya, and they’d convinced the Justice League of their right to exist, and then they’d started attracting members.

“This should be everyone,” Ryou said, calling everyone to order without actually raising his voice. “I know some of you are out keeping up the cover, so fill them in when you can.”

He used a remote to cue a slideshow.

“What is that?” Wakana demanded. Ryou had called in a favor to get her in on this, despite her not being on either of their teams. She was better at intelligence gathering than him, and they needed her help so Ryou could focus on convincing the world they weren’t missing six members of the Justice League.

“A Krolotean,” Ryou told her. While he’d been talking to an Atlantean at that Halloween party, Jun had apparently been chatting it up with an alien bounty hunter, and he’d clued them in to a whole new problem. “Earth has an infestation.”

“Gross,” Wakana said. Ryou privately agreed. It looked about two steps off from the gremlins from that weird American movie he’d watched when he was a kid. A ‘don’t feed after midnight’ joke would probably go over everyone’s head but the Americans in the room, though.

“They’re thieves,” Ryou said. “Their entire society is built around stealing. It’s a pretty simple economy, honestly. If they’re here, it’s to steal whatever isn’t nailed down and make a profit off it.”

“How did they even get here?” Miyuki asked. “I don’t remember an incoming spaceship.”

“Zeta tubes from off planet,” Ryou said. “We’ll have to close them off to keep them from coming in again.”

“Will that be a problem for the Justice League?” Kuramochi asked.

“I sent a message,” Ryou said. “They can find another way home.”

“When are they coming home?” Sawamura asked. His mother was one of the members that had gone to Rimbor. Ryou could empathize with wanting them to come back.

“Soon as they can,” Ryou said. “Until they can finish, though, we have to keep Earth safe. We’ll prove we have what it takes.”

“So what’s the plan?” Wakana asked.

“We’ll be moving in teams,” Ryou said. “I know we’re all nervous about being short staffed, but if we keep up a rotation, we should be able to cover all our bases without letting the public know what’s going on. That’s the most important thing here.”

“Because the media isn’t eviscerating us enough,” Kuramochi muttered under his breath. Ryou tried to give him a significant look that said I know, but not now.

A news program had been gaining popularity, and it was doing so by going after superheroes. In its presenter’s eyes, they were vigilantes, operating outside the reach of the law and stepping on one too many toes while they did it. Ryou didn’t mind too much, and he knew Sanada and his team cared even less, but for Young Justice and the Justice League, their public image was everything. The only authority was what the public gave them. Take that away, and their jobs became exponentially harder.

Yet another reason Haruichi was a better leader for Young Justice than Ryou or Sanada had been. He could play nonthreatening in a way neither of them had even bothered trying. He could convince reporters to forget that he knew how to break their wrists if he needed to.

“Speaking of the media, don’t talk to reporters unless you’re on the approved list,” Ryou continued. The approved list was him, Miyuki, Haruichi, and Wakana. He was considering adding a few of the newer members of Young Justice to the list. An - Bumblebee - had a good head on her shoulders. So did Chris, a recent cyborg. Ryou was thinking about just adding Chris to his team. They could use a new member now that Tetsu ran with Sanada more than he ran with them.

“What if someone on the approved list isn’t around?” Sawamura asked.

“Then you keep your mouth shut and pretend you can’t see them,” Ryou said. “I’m not kidding about this, Wonder Boy. Our approval ratings aren’t good right now. We can’t make them worse.”

Everyone went quiet. Brooding. No hero wanted to be treated like a criminal. Having to carefully manage their public image wasn’t supposed to be part of the job description.

“So, between Beast Boy’s information and Oracle’s digging, we have some locations to work with,” Ryou said. “I’ve assigned some of you as alpha, beta, and gamma squads. Your job is just to go in and report back. These are stealth missions, and all I want is intel on what the Kroloteans are doing. Do not engage. If you’re spotted, get the hell out. I want to know what they’re doing here before we get them all out.”

Everyone was good enough to recognize a dismissal when they heard one. Ryou had left it on a slide showing the squads, and he paused just long enough to point all the squad leaders in the right direction. Once they all had enough to get going, they were on their own. His mother had never held their hands, and neither would he.

“You’re not bad at this,” Kuramochi said as Ryou collapsed on a couch next to him. He would get up and go back to the Tower soon, but he really needed a second to sit down. “You’re no Batman, but someday you could be.”

“High praise,” Ryou smirked. “Next you’ll be telling me I might manage to not die on a mission.”

“Don’t be a jerk,” Kuramochi said, but there was a grin on his face. He knocked his shoulder into Ryou’s. Ryou allowed to contact. He’d allowed pretty much all contact from Kuramochi recently. At some point, it had stopped being about permission and started being about what Ryou himself wanted.

And now it was quiet, and Ryou wasn’t sure where to put his hands or what to say anymore. Because Kuramochi was looking at him with that pensive gaze that was more perceptive than anyone gave him credit for, and Ryou had no clue how to answer it.

He’d even gone as far as consulting Jun and Sawamura about what to do with his feelings. They were the closest things he had to experts on relationships, even though it was all based on shoujo manga. They’d both managed to get into relationships, though, so maybe it was working out for them.

They had plenty of advice for confessing feelings, but nothing to offer for what happened after that. And if all Ryou had to do was confess his feelings, he could handle that.

But he’d already done that. Mostly. Kuramochi knew about his feelings, and he knew about Kuramochi’s. And they still weren’t together. And he didn’t know what he was supposed to do now. Kuramochi had said to come to him when Ryou was ready.

Ready for what? He’d had feelings for Kuramochi for years. They hadn’t come on suddenly, and they weren’t going anywhere. Just because he’d acted on them suddenly in a moment of weakness didn’t mean they weren’t real. What was he supposed to be waiting for?

“What are you thinking?” Kuramochi asked, jerking his head at the frozen slideshow.

“Black Manta being affiliated with the Light isn’t the best situation,” Ryou said. “I don’t know if it’s connected with the Kroloteans. It probably isn’t. But it’s just another headache for us.”

“Tell me about it,” Kuramochi agreed. “I wish we still had an Atlantean on our side. This seems like it’s right up Aqualad’s alley, right?”

“Mmm,” Ryou hummed quietly. “It had to have been a shock to find out Black Manta is his father. I can’t blame him entirely for being confused after learning that.”

“Still, he was our friend,” Kuramochi said. “He helped Haruichi rebuild Young Justice. He should be here.”

“We’ll have to find a way to manage without him,” Ryou said. “Black Manta shouldn’t be able to bring his war to the surface just yet. Aquaman says he still has it handled. I hate to just leave it to others, but we really can’t spare the people to worry about it. Atlantis has to hold out until the Justice League is back together.”

“Isn’t it weird that we’re only missing six people?” Kuramochi asked. “I mean, they’re the big names, but it’s still only six heroes.”

“Superman and Wonder Woman are heavy hitters,” Ryou said, unable to keep the smile off his face. “Literally. And Batman has a close hold on the criminal underworld. If she’s gone, it makes a big difference, even if we pick up the slack. Hawkwoman does a lot of heavy hitting, too, and she’s well known. And Martian Manhunter and one of our Green Lanterns? There goes a bunch of our alien fighting ability. It’s only six people, but it’s six important people.”

“I guess that’s true,” Kuramochi said. He nudged Ryou with his shoulder again, but this time he stayed close, leaning their sides together. “You really think we can hold out until the Justice League gets back.”

“I think the world will be intact and mostly trauma-free when they get back,” Ryou said. “It’s gonna be a PR nightmare, though. And the news isn’t helping.”

“We’ll show them,” Kuramochi promised. He got to his feet, reaching out a hand to help Ryou up. “We’ll prove them wrong. We’re not vigilantes, and we do a lot of good.”

“Of course we do,” Ryou said. He let his mind wander, following Kuramochi back to the Tower on autopilot.

It really was worrying that Black Manta was allying himself with the Light. In any other circumstance, that would be Ryou’s top priority. But since they had so much else to worry about, Ryou had no choice but to kick the can down the road. If the Light had existed as long as he thought they had, they could wait a few more months.

Still...it couldn’t hurt to check in with his undercover agent. Contacting him was risky, but it had been a while, and Ryou was due for an update anyway. Raising concerns about Black Manta and the Light was just par for the course. He could keep an eye on it, even if there probably wasn’t anything to be done yet.

Sometimes, Ryou felt like he was juggling plates, and they were all going to come crashing down on him. The Krolotean invasion he could handle, the Justice League being gone he could handle, Black Manta he could handle, but all of it together? While protecting their public image?

It was a lot. But he would do it, because he had to.

And maybe at some point he could tell Kuramochi that he was ready to have that conversation, that he’d been ready for years.