#hell throw in cross guild if you want bring all the chaos

[kacievvbbbb]

I’m bored so question for the community. What are some of y’all’s Mishanks/goth fam Modern AU headcannons?

[warsofasoiaf]

Character Analysis: Jon Irenicus

Irenicus is a fun villain, and I think nailed one interesting element of writing down, that of bringing down the villain’s threat in an interesting and believable way. The hero typically grows in power in any story, not just in a game where your progression is literally your XP, but what the villain does, how they grow, is also interesting. If the villain is more powerful than the hero, and also does things to grow and learn, theoretically the villain should still be wrecking house. BG2 wove this into the story itself, where the more you learned about Irenicus, the less menacing he became, culminating into where he was arguably your lesser at the end: he was powerful but only aping what you were. 

Obviously, spoilers for BG2 abound.

Baldur’s Gate II introduces us to our villain almost as a cold open. Fresh off the high of defeating Sarevok, you leave Baldur’s Gate after being pressured to leave by “dark forces” and by those who suspected that you shared similar heritage to Sarevok. Seems a bit odd, honestly, to oust the Bhaalspawn with suspicion given that during the course of Baldur’s Gate I, you saved two of the Grand Dukes. It’s certainly understandable that folks would fear your heritage and you’d want to move on to greener pastures, but something more than a 3-minute cut scene would have probably set the scene better.

However, this opening, and the ‘cutscene’ that follows gives Irenicus a grand initial reveal to the player. This guy is an ultra-powerful wizard, and he speaks with a clinical detachment as he states: “It’s time for more experiments.” It’s a wonderful opening to illustrate exactly what you’re dealing with. He’s clearly interested in your godly soul, and exploiting it to some unknown purpose. What is unknown, as he gets called away by some unspecified intruders by a golem. In the next scene, magical traps are set off as an unspecified Shadow Thief gets disintegrated. Story-wise, this serves no purpose, it’s purely meant to be a way to show off the new spell effects and other cosmetic changes to the engine from Baldur’s Gate II, with the disintegration dust and the screen shaking. But it does help illustrate the power level that Irenicus is throwing around. Save-or-die spells were relatively rare in the lower level of Baldur’s Gate I, even Semaj, Sarevok’s mage companion, wasn’t firing off disintegration willy-nilly. Throwing around disintegration spells clearly shows that Irenicus is a new high-level baddy. Later we see that he killed characters from Baldur’s Gate I off-screen, Khalid and Dynahier, two of the three sets of paired companions from BG1. This gives their partners reason to join in with the player character, but it also serves to show his power; Irenicus is such a bad dude that he can wipe your party before the game starts, like he was getting coffee. It might be a cruel cut, but that’s its intent, to make the player character mad at the villain, to want to punch his smarmy face in.

Commensurate in the danger of Irenicus is the need to find out what’s going on. Irenicus clearly knows something about your godly soul and so you want to find out what he knows. Even for an upstanding lawful good character, growing in power means finding a way to effect good on a larger scale, and perhaps to overcome the evil in your tainted blood. After all, no matter how good you were in Baldur’s Gate I, you still were an incredibly powerful killer. Sure, most if not all of them were bad dudes, Mulahey the iron ore poisoner, the bandits of Cloakwood, the Iron Throne and their plans to take over the Sword Coast. But chaos and destruction follow in your wake, and that chaos undoubtedly would hurt innocent civilians; Saradush in Throne of Bhaal is clear of that enough. Even just knowing more about what is going on could better prepare you for the next Irenicus or the next Sarevok.

When you go through the starter dungeon (another piece of game design, you are being tutorialized but the pastoral instruction of Candlekeep makes no sense for someone who already had an adventure), pieces of the man start to fall into place. He holds a bunch of captive dryads as concubines to remind him of someone he lost. He keeps an immaculate bedroom for a companion that is never there, with an alarm ready to dispatch the golems to kill any who cross the threshold. There’s a woman that was in his life that is no longer there, and the loss pains him, or at least, it seems that it should. Chatter with Imoen and the dryads show that this mystery man is trying to elicit feelings that he had lost, and that’s an entirely different case of worms than pining over a lost love. There’s some element of almost-unwilling psychopathy to these actions. Other hints in this dungeon illustrate this as well. His servants, discarded in vats and forgotten about entirely, would at first evoke classical evil overlords casually disregarding their own subjects. He’s almost all of the way there, but there’s enough there that the player is suggested that there has to be something more to it than that. He does seem to have some sort of sociopathy to him, where people are objects that he can find fascinating but he has no empathy. We see this later with Wanev, who Irenicus spares solely because he was hit by a spell that left him a lunatic, which Irenicus found funny, the administrator of a jail for the insane now rendered an insane patient himself.

He is powerful though, that much is clear when you break out of the starter dungeon. His display of magic collapsed part of Waukeen’s Promenade, and when the regulatory magical body of the Cowled Wizards comes to shut it down, Irenicus is capable of swatting mages like they were mosquitos. Just like the Shadow Thieves that he had been fighting, Irenicus seems more annoyed at the interruptions than any physical threat posed by his myriad foes. He’s definitely a powerful wizard, and when he finally submits to the Cowled Wizards, he does so clearly as their superior, dragging Imoen along with him. It’s fairly plain from a game design perspective what Irenicus is doing; he’s going to Spellhold so you have to get there. Good characters want to rescue Imoen, evil characters want to interrogate him to unlock the power in your blood. Either way, the player character is given a goal, and Irenicus disappears physically from the story for the moment.

He isn’t absent though. In your dreams, Jon Irenicus waxes philosophical at the player character, evoking thought-provoking questions. He explains the paradox of your existence of being born of murder, given life from the act of taking life. He speaks about accepting the gifts that will be given to you, regardless of whether or not you want them. These dream sequences are clear upgrades in quality and presentation from the spoken-dialogue text boxes from the first game after you beat major milestones. David Warner does a great job here in delivering Irenicus’s lines, he feels like a evil mentor speaking about philosophical topics with the same detachment that he tortured the player character with in the opening. While we find out later that these dreams aren’t sendings from Irenicus but rather parts of your character’s godly subconscious, they suggest to the player going through Chapter 3 that Irenicus does indeed know a hell of a lot more about you and your godly blood, keeping the player interesting in finding out exactly what it is you need to find out. The other quests in Chapter Three don’t have much to do with Irenicus, aside from some random events with the guild war in Athkatla at night, where the player will find out pretty quick that one side is powered by vampires, the level drain and click-dialogue of “your blood is rather inviting” isn’t exactly hiding that there be vampires engaged in a secret war with the Shadow Thieves. Even then, it’s tangential. You knew the Shadow Thieves were attacking Irenicus, which suggests at least some level of camaraderie with the vampires, but as we saw with the deep dwarves in Irenicus’s lair, he doesn’t care about followers, and they might simply be disposable assets if anything at all. If you want to know about Irenicus, you’re going to have to get it from the man himself. 

Of course, as befits a high-level mage, Irenicus breaks out of the prison in a cutscene, kills the Cowled Wizards and goes back to whatever unsavory plans he thought up for Imoen, teleporting into the lobby and chewing the scenery with his “I CANNOT BE CAGED!” speech, reinforcing his position as the central big bad and confirming the Cowled Wizards as mere obstacles. This part of his plan has been made clear. Far from the meddling Shadow Thieves and Cowled Wizards, Irenicus can continue his experiments on Imoen in Spellhold, and it falls on the player character to go there and end it. Irenicus, of course, knows this too, and he makes sure he has contingency plans to deliver you to him. I’m of three minds on this. On one, he’s so powerful it seems that he is so powerful, and Amn so large, that plenty of these isolated areas within the continent would service just as well for Irenicus’s lair. Why waste time with all of this blah-blah-blah and just take what he wants? It’s not like teleport spells are beyond his ken. On the other hand, it’s a good way to break up into the freeform quest design that Chapter Three gives, offers the chance for your characters to level up and get cool gear, lets you rock the stronghold quests which definitely let you feel your class and increase replay value, and the idea of the forbidding wizard in the island lair is an excellent backdrop. On the third, it’s in-character for an immortal mage to have plans within plans, even to the point of complexity addiction, although his conduct afterward sort of torpedoes this idea. 

That is, after he recaptures you, he immediately goes back to work to his experiments, and after another trippy dream sequence with Imoen, you find his plan. His goal is to absorb your divine soul, taking it for his own. He doesn’t explain anything more, but now that he has you, he discards you just as he has so many others. Telling his sister Bodhi to dispose of you is what keeps him from being someone like the Riddler, since he’s actually going for a proper smart villain play and killing the soulless husk he leaves behind just in case he pulls a protagonist move and comes clawing back for his stolen soul. It’s Bodhi’s instability, her desire to hunt you brought on by her vampirism, that keeps you alive. After the player character becomes the Slayer, Bodhi tells Irenicus, but true to his condescending nature, he simply...ignores the PC, writing them off as someone who is going to keel over any second due to their lack of soul, completely oblivious to the fact that Bhaal’s avatar was the Slayer, and it’s clear that something is replacing the void that he left within you. The PC must effectively turn that dismissiveness against him, by releasing the imprisoned mages within Spellhold, from the powerful but mostly harmless Dili to the megalomaniacal Tiax. Yet this hard-fought battle does not end with Irenicus’s death and your victory, instead Irenicus goes to pursue his other, as-yet unknown goals while he sends another band of cutthroats to die at your hand. 

Yoshimo is sort of my feelings on this Irenicus’s Spellhold plot writ small. As powerful as Irenicus is, he really doesn’t need Yoshimo, not if he has Sarmon Havarian and so many others. Yoshimo shows up in the starter dungeon, and is useful if a bit obsequious in a “who me?” sort of fashion. He doesn’t have a really good reason to stay with the party from a story reason that he gives you. He could have said: “Hey, thanks for getting me out. Deuces!” Yoshimo’s geas gets him to want to stay with the party, otherwise he’s dead. In that sense, it makes sense for him to want to be with the group. And as the only thief who gains levels aside from the absolutely annoying Jan Jansen, he’s useful for dealing with annoying traps, because reloading a game because your main PC tripped a trap and got petrified is certainly frustrating. Game mechanics though, interfere with this. You as the player character have control over the six-person party and if you want Yoshimo to be there, he’ll be there, and if you don’t, he’ll sit in the Copper Coronet, geas be damned. He’ll stand right there until you go back in after the Underdark chapter, in which case he flops over dead and hardly anyone cares. That’s a system engine limitation certainly, but it’s remarkably clumsy. What is good though, is Yoshimo’s regret during this. He knows he has to betray you and is forced to do so, and he genuinely likes you. The writing that happens is crisp, Yoshimo truly does apologize and Irenicus backs up his dismissive assholery by telling him to shut up. When Yoshimo confronts you in Spellhold, his writing is crisp. “No redemption, and no second chances. My heart to Ilmater.” He fights you and goes down swinging (which was annoying the first time I played because he had the Celestial Fury +3). And you can actually take that heart to Ilmater, occupying a valuable inventory space through the next chapters until you can reach Waukeen’s Promenade again, where you can choose to forgive him or not, but give the heart to Ilmater either way. It would have been saccharine to restore Yoshimo, but this way, I feel, is more powerful in a world with such powerful enchantments to see the effects on the people whose lives it ruins. So the game can be clunky at parts, and Irenicus can be as well, but there’s true craft and joy in it.

Back to Irenicus though, we get the sense of more to him when we see the intro splash screen for the next Chapter. Making a dark bargain with the drow, we see that they have captured surface elves, one of whom immediately refers to Irenicus as Joneleth, suggesting a backstory far deeper as Irenicus immediately resorts to killing the prisoner after being the one to suggest interrogation instead of immediate execution, a lashing out that seems out of character for the clinically-detached evil villain we’ve been coming to know. The backstory is clear in the Forgotten Realms, the dark elves and surface elves are mortal foes and anyone who is known to the surface elves to ally with the dark elves is a great betrayal. As the PC goes through the Underdark and comes out, they are captured by the surface elves. Through a conversation with Eldoth, it can become evident that the surface elves know more than they are letting on, such as when they are the ones who suggest holy water and stakes to fight Bodhi, despite not knowing anything about either one of them. After you slay Bodhi and restore Imoen’s soul to its rightful place, you can call Eldoth out on it. Irenicus is “the Shattered One,” an exile of the elves, and it’s here that Irenicus’s story becomes apparent.

Irenicus was a powerful wizard and lover of Queen Ellesime named Joneleth. Yet in his heart, Joneleth yearned for more power and sought to take the essence of the Tree of Life, the lifeblood of the city of Suldanesselar, for himself and Bodhi. This dark ritual nearly killed many that existed within Suldanesselar, and so Joneleth and Bodhi were punished, stripping their elven nature and immortality away from them, leaving them with a mortal lifespan, thus Joneleth became Jon Irenicus, the Shattered One. Bodhi sought to become a vampire to transgress the mortal years she had, but Jon had felt that it degraded her to that of a high-functioning beast. Irenicus’s scheme was far more grandiose if also possessing an elegant simplicity: he lost an immortal soul and so he needed to take one for himself. The Bhaalspawn was the perfect choice, powerful enough to defeat Sarevok and awaken the power within, weak enough to be captured and have the divine soul snatched away. With his stolen soul freshly acquired, Irenicus now looked to the second part of himself, to revenge himself on the elves. The dark elf invasion ultimately failed, helped out by the PC butchering the leadership of Ust Natha, but Irenicus is still going with golems and summoned demons to destroy the city, usurp the power of the Tree of Life, and complete his long ago schemes. 

I... I do not remember your love, Ellesime. I have tried. I have tried to recreate it, to spark it anew in my memory, but it is gone... a hollow, dead thing. For years, I clung to the memory of it. Then the memory of the memory. And then nothing. The Seldarine took that from me, too. I look upon you and feel nothing. I remember nothing but you turning your back on me, along with all the others. Once my thirst for power was everything. And now I hunger only for revenge. And I... WILL... HAVE IT!!

When confronted by Queen Ellesime, she even asks if there was any part of him that remembered the love he had for her, and the PC sees that it’s her that was in his mind for the beautiful bedroom way back in chapter one. It was almost certainly her that Irenicus thought of when he was with his dryad concubines. And when she poses that question, he answers with the above quote, that he feels nothing. While it seems like this is a loss of depth, that he’s just a flat character, I don’t think this is the case. Irenicus had the chance to change, for self-reflection. Instead, he remembers it as all the others turning their back on him, without any recognition that his schemes nearly killed them. It’s the classic abuser mentality, how dare you make me do these things to you. When his victims tried to defend themselves, he lashed out and remembers only their ‘cruelty’ to him. It’s this that makes Irenicus, for all his great arcane might, so small. Where before he was this intimidating figure, now he’s a petty man, and fittingly, it’s here that you can kill him. Temporarily, at least, because there’s still one more dungeon. Irenicus and you are still battling for your divine soul, and after a few self-reflective quests of your own, you duel Irenicus, who dies pitiably, torn to shreds by demons as his power fails him. It fits the heroic and thematic heft of the arc. As you grow in power, Irenicus diminishes in threat. He was your torturer, an inhuman menace, then he became just a man, torn apart by tiny demons that you probably could take down by the truckload. 

There’s good things to learn here. Irenicus isn’t a super-unique villain, although some of the villain tropes are personalized for the sake of the Baldur’s Gate story specifics. But he does his job admirably. David Warner’s voice work, and the special effects (pretty good for when the game came out in 2000) really was able to sell Irenicus as an enjoyable villain. 

Thanks for the suggestions, Anons who were looking forward to this.

SomethingLikeALawyer, Hand of the King

[heyyy-thats-my-chips]

Tales of The Wicked

Chapter 1

 Goddess surely have a malicious taste of humor.

I can’t take a guess of what jokes she will make in the future, but surely it’ll makes me laugh when it’s time.

Like one time she decided to shows us a new dragon created from broken fragment of chaos dragon named Black Dragon that destroyed almost every villages it accidentally found and wiped out half of our population. I’m laughing even in my sleep. Watching us living in harmony must be boring for God.

Speaking of population, there are 7 races in this world, The Sorceress, The Warriors, The Clerics, The Kalis, The Archers, The Lancers and the last one, Assassins. I was born as an assassin.

The Kali race is the only race that have only women in the tribes, there’s barely men, except the elders. They were known as The Guardian of Ancient, the one who could read Goddess dreams. Remember what I said about God having a malicious taste of humor? Well, out of nowhere, Kali tribes was destroyed overnight, but one of them managed to escape and now she’s the only Kali in the world. And don’t forget about a sudden appearance of the Prophet who was predicted could save the world, but ended up being kidnapped by the mysterious Black Knight. And a white haired woman in red hood named Argenta visited the Calderock Village and claimed to be the Silver dragon, a fragment of ancient dragon who bossed around for her ‘job’ to find the Black Knight, but now the Black Knight and the Prophet are nowhere to be found.

And the rest? They were ordinary peoples, villagers. Many peoples except archers who didn’t go to a training camp would ended up as villagers, the blood of their ancestors will still flow within them, but discrimination from others will makes them forget about their origin. They’d lose their confident, but some of them will rise up and become important peoples instead, such as generals, soldiers, blacksmiths, tailors, warehouse keepers, mount trainers, potion makers, and the others I couldn’t remember. Studying as a trainee itself required lots of patience and times, you should be able to perform basic skills and be able to do the quests given by your trainer, such as entering a dungeon to gather specific ingredients and kill monsters and the mission could cost your life.

Oh, I forgot to mention, my ancestors were actually the real leaders of Silver Dagger, the most feared and famous guild in Saint Haven, their name will never be written in the history, but they’re the one who make history of victories and wars in almost every conflicts, even King Peter in Cassius Palace frequently sent them into secret missions or called them whenever they need a counsellor. You can tell from my story that my ancestors are the shadows of the Cassius. My father always told me that someday I’ll replace him, but I’m not interested.

Because of the absence of siblings in my family, my days are always filled with training and studying. My father shows no mercy, he trained me so hard that seems like he doesn’t care if I die during my training, but in the end of the day, my father will become softer and appreciate many thing that I did in my training and study. Sadly there’s only two of us in the family, there won’t be mother for me who welcomes me home. My mother died to protect me when I was a little kid because of sudden attack from Black Dragon in Saint Haven, and I know since her funeral held, my father is trying so hard to replaces her role. When I was younger, my father always told me a bedtime story in every night, but I refused and told him to tell me his journey instead, but he just smiled and tells me I’ll know it soon. Now my nights are filled with stupid tales of the ruler of God, named Desmodeus who ordered two Goddesses, Althea and Vestinel to create a world, but because of envy, Vestinel poisoned Goddess Althea into slumber and turns this world that created by Althea into chaos, and we, in the name of Silver Dagger, should bring peace back to the world, along with the ancient and chaos dragons. Now I really want the old tales of him back.

Since Saint Haven is the capital city of the world, where 7 of the races gathered to seek a better job, I frequently meet peoples from other races, and new adventures in every corner of the city. One day, when fate decided it’s time to meet my dear friend, I met him in the most unexpected way.

I remember that day, when my father forced me to enter one of dungeons in foothills of the Black Mountain, where almost all of the soldiers and members of many guilds from Saint Haven fought battalions of monsters that suddenly came and attacking the front base of Saint Haven’s fortress. It’s funny that when I watched the war while eating apple and sitting in the branches of highest tree in the foothills of the Black Mountain, I accidentally saw a boy with silver hair that has the most beautiful face even for a man, I snickered, he must be the new Knight Templar that has been in every headline of newspapers because of his contribution for Dragon Follower’s investigation. No wonder the King Cassius and General Douglass sent him in the front line, he’s strong.

I started to notice that he’s a rare case in his race, he’s a priest and also a paladin, meaning he could either be an inquisitor, a crusader, a saint, or even a guardian. Interesting.

But in just a second, something changes from his appearance, I furrowed, but then realize that he casts a spell to call lightning—upon me

I jumped to another tree before a thousand volts of lightning suddenly strikes the tree I was sit on, the fire quickly spreads from one branches to another, my half eaten apple is long gone. In the thick smoke and burning woods, I detect a flash movement of one people and suddenly the smoke in front of me is vanished, replaced by the beautiful face I’ve been watching. He spells a cast again and makes another thunderbolt strikes barely an inch from my place, if I didn’t move faster—

He continues to attack with force of winds and makes the trees around him breaking, a sharp piece of wood almost planted on my face, I jumped backward and let my body pulled down by gravity before hard ground under my feet breaking because of heavy pressure of mine, but then I must jump away from there before the shield of the Cleric makes the slightest contact with me.

A loud of crash could be heard. Our surrounding is filled with dust that flies because of Cleric’s attack—what a powerful skill he has. When the surrounding become clear from dust, I see something like an orb in front of my face—Cleric’s wand pointed at me.

“Who are you? Are you a Dragon Follower’s spy?” He exclaimed,

“I think you got the wrong person.” I lifted up both of my hands, but seems like it only makes him more suspicious because he just shoves his wand closer to my face.

“I ask you once again, who are you?” He demanded,

I sighed heavily. “My name is Reuvaldy.”

But seems like my answer didn’t satisfy him, he furrowed deeply. “What?” I shrugged, “you asked me who am I didn’t you-” my words are cut off by a sudden enormous cross that fell besides us, and there’s lightning in every inch of it.

“If you don’t answer me, I will not hesitate to kill you.”

“Alright! I’m an adventure who’s too lazy to join you defeating those monsters.”

He fell silence for a while, but then he quickly composed himself, “show me your license.”

I rummage through my pocket, then hand him the license my father gave me so I didn’t have to go to the training camps, in exchanges of strenuous training from my father himself. He takes it and examining it carefully before handing it back to me. But I know he didn’t read any description in my license.

“I’ll let you go this time, but you should help us get rid of the monsters.” He stated, I reply it with a heavy sigh.

“Fine.” I got up, “but before that, could you please remove your cross thing? It makes me uncomfortable.”

He looked at me once again before flicked his finger, which makes the enormous cross of lightning disappear. “Let’s go, we don’t have much time.” He turns around and runs into the war while shouting a command before he’s disappearing from my view. I chuckled, maybe he’s not that bad, could spotted me far above the tree in short time. I quickly made my way to him by slashing monster’s throats that are on my way, another stupid orcs, and annoying goblins that basically a parasite in every monster battalion tried to stop me, I smirked, “shower me with blood.” I snorted as I cut another orc’s throat open, a disgusting blood of them burst out, making another monsters fled when I glared at them. But it doesn’t affect the cocky harpies, they must thought they’re strong enough to kill us—especially the one with red feathers. But they’re all wrong, I slipped my hand into my pocket and quickly throws my

I finally saw the silver haired boy again, but before I could reach him, there’s a deafening howl echoing through the Foothills.

Yes I do realize we’re in the very front line of the soldiers, and I do realize those howl means the General monster has come down. And I do saw the gigantic General monster running to his target—the Cleric. “Cleric!” I shouted, but he can’t even moves because the monsters are surrounding him, I looked at the General monster who’s become very dangerously close to him and already lifted his giant axe pointed to the Cleric—there’s no time.

I lift my hand up in the air, absorbing the dark shadow into my hand before the fire starts to burns around the shadow, creating a red line which I called ‘hell’s ribbon’ and slowly this dark matter of mine forms into a huge piercing star which I throw toward the general monster’s neck and swiftly slash the monster into two before a loud metal clacking echoing through the foothills,

Shit.

The cleric’s eyes widened, he just saw one of the silver dagger’s legendary skill. He quickly turns his head and sees where I am standing, where the dark star came from.

I messed up.

The other monsters suddenly fled from the battlefield, their general is dead, making the soldiers and adventures confused with the sudden victory. The cleric’s view was blocked with hundreds monsters that run toward their base fortress, saving their life. The shout of victory filled the foothills of Black Mountain, they all cheering, except the cleric,

Who only saw a solid wood log laying on the spot where the assassin supposed to be.

[cothrek]

Unfortunate Cynics Pt. 4

Chapter 7

Zac sat at the bar, pouring over a letter. He crumpled it angrily. “That won’t do.” Suddenly, he was lifted from his seat by his collar and placed on his feet.

“Let’s go!” Net’s voice rumbled jovially. He tossed a knapsack into the boy’s arms.

Zac stared at him. “I am not going anywhere with you.” He dropped the bag on the nearest stool.

Net laughed, continuing towards the doorway. “Again, I wasn’t asking.”

Zac growled. “But it’s midday. I’m not going outside.” His words fell on deaf ears. He let out an exasperated sigh and snatched up the bag Net left for him, then stomped out the front door after his guild master.

Net trekked tirelessly until nightfall, unfaltering, with Zac slogging behind. As darkness enclosed, his pace picked up and his demeanor brightened considerably. Soon he was back to his usual self.

“So where’re we going? What’s this thing we’re doing? Am I getting paid? Do I get to kill something?” Zac tightened his grip on the darkness around him, forming a blade. “I’m totally ready to slit something’s throat.”

Net groaned loudly. “You’re really talkative now that the sun’s set.”

Zac shrugged and released his weapon. “What can I say? My soul rises with the moon.”

Net groaned louder. “Gods, you’re such a child. We are going to capture some bandits that attacked a caravan recently. We aren’t going to kill anything.” Net paused. “Probably. They’re worth more alive than dead, so hopefully they’ll come quietly.”

“Damn, I wanted to eviscerate something.” Zac kicked a rock off the path. “Can I at least cut some limbs off?”

“The request didn’t say anything about them being intact, just breathing.”

Suddenly, a light blinked to life deep within the forest. Net dragged Zac off the path and shoved him behind a bush. “You stay here, I’ll take care of this.”

Zac snickered.  “Watch this.” His body dematerialized, fading into the shadows.

“Recon?” Net stared at the spot where Zac disappeared.

“I’ll explain later.” Zac’s voice echoed through the darkness.

Net sat silently in the foliage for several minutes. “This is mind-numbingly boring.” He rose to his feet, about to charge the camp when Zac suddenly reappeared, seemingly from nowhere.

“Are you ready to slice and dice?” Zac asked with a grin.

Net grinned. “Always.” He brandished two hand-axes, if you could call them that. They looked more like battle axes to Zac.

As the two moved closer to the caravan through the underbrush, Zac explained to Net what he had seen.

“There are five bandits in total, one on each side of the wagon, and one on the horse pulling it. He looks like the leader of the group.”

Net nodded. “We should take him out first.”

“I could take out the horse by throwing a dagger from up there.” Zac pointed to a rise in the terrain. “Then you could just barge in. I know you like to get stuff done.”

Net chuckled. “True. I can knock a few heads.”

Zac crouched and sneaked up to the rise overlooking the path where the bandits would appear. He created another dagger from the shadows and looked back at Net. “Ready?”

Net just nodded and got into a running position, readying his weapons.

The group plodded into view, following the path diligently. Zac zoned in on the leader, pulled back his arm, and launched one of his daggers straight at the horse’s neck, killing it instantly. Net rushed in after the dagger, roaring.

Chaos descended, the bandits scattered in Net’s enraged path. Zac skidded down the hill, leapt over the horse’s corpse, and rushed the leader, who was fumbling for his weapon.

Zac infused his second dagger with void energy. “Eternal Slumber!” He sunk the knife deep into the man’s chest and stepped back as his target collapsed. “I did it!” He spun around to face Net, who was standing in a clearing littered with the bandits’ unconscious bodies. Zac glared and plopped down by his single victory. “Show off.”

Net began gathering up their spoils. “Nice.”

Zac leapt back to his feet. “It’s my specialty, I could even put you to sleep indefinitely!”

“I’d like to see you try.”

******

Net raised his mug high. “Congratulations, Zac. You didn’t disappoint.”

Zac shrugged, smirking. “Well, of course. What did you expect from a pro like me?”

` Net smacked him upside the head. “That cockiness will get you killed one day.” He dropped a coin sack in front of Zac.

Kara’s laughter floated across the room. Zac glanced her way and scooped up his pay. “I’ve got things to do.”

Net followed Zac’s gaze. “Uh-huh. Have fun, kid.” He quaffed the rest of his drink and repositioned himself behind the bar, closer to the keg.

Zac sidled up next to Kara where she was talking to Rick. “So, you got any plans today besides talking with this loser?” Rick glowered silently, but didn’t offer any resistance.

Kara frowned. “Definitely, if you talk about everyone like that.”

Zac threw his arm around her shoulder. “Only when it’s true.”

“Well, then, you must not hang out with yourself very often.” Kara brushed his arm away and left the table.

Net laughed loudly from the bar.

Chapter 8

“It used to be human. We trusted it. It trampled our homes and burned down our crops.” The village chief grasped Net’s arm. “You can’t trust it. Don’t be deceived.”

Net pulled away. “Calm down old man. Have a seat.” He settled the elder into a cushioned booth. “Hailey! Would you bring our guest something to drink? Something strong, perhaps.” He sat across from the man, folding his arms across his chest. “Now start from the beginning. This..monster. It used to be one of your villagers?”

The elderly man quaked slightly. “Yes. It is most unfortunate. It lived in our village until--”

Zac hopped over the back of the booth and plopped into the seat next to Net. “Damn, sounds like a job for me! Monsters? In a small village? I can handle this by myself.”

Net clapped a hand over Zac’s face. “Please excuse my pupil. Continue. How would you suggest I go about finding this monster?”

The chief stared at Zac for a moment. “It usually appears at night. You’ll know it when you see it.”

Hailey placed a tray of mugs on their table. “Anything to eat? You’re not just drinking at this time of day, Net.”

Net growled and waved her off. “Don’t mother me, woman.”

She sighed. “Don’t let Zac have any.” She placed the mugs on the table and swept off to the kitchen with the empty tray tucked under her arm.

The chief wrapped his fingers around the mug of warm cider and sipped slowly. “I’ll have rooms prepared for you at the tavern. I hope you’ll be comfortable.” He pulled a map from his coat pocket and spread it across the table. “It’s marked here. It’s a good place, but it is also on the outer rim of town. At one time it had been the center of the city, but..the outskirts have since been destroyed by.. ‘It’.”

Net downed the contents of his mug in a gulp and gathered up the map. “We’ll take care of it.” He dragged Zac out of the booth with him. “Go get your girlfriend. We have a mission.”

Zac stumbled in the direction he was shoved. “She isn’t my girlfriend…”

*****

The tavern was barren, perfectly quiet, and like the rest of the outskirts, almost like a ghost town. Net sat at the table, studying the map for the last time. He lifted his axes from their resting place on the bed and stood, fastening them onto his back. “You know the plan.”

Kara secured her bag and slung it over her shoulder. “Right.”

Zac slid off his bed. “I still think I can handle this thing on my own.”

“Let’s go.” Net unbolted the door and led them out into the night.

*****

As the trio approached the edge of the woods, an unearthly roar split through the night. The ground began to quake rhythmically. Kara clung to the nearest tree just to stay on her feet. Zac stumbled and grabbed onto a branch.

Net planted his feet firmly and crossed his arms, unimpressed. “Looks like we found it.”

"Geez, what the hell is that?!" Zac tightened his grasp on the branch and peered into the forest.

Nearby, the edge of the treeline crumbled under the stony foot of a giant statuesque figure. Its head turned toward the group below and tilted slightly to the side, like a curious child. It took a thundering step closer and took a knee, bringing its mountainous head within inches of Net’s face.

Net nodded slightly. “Good evening, golem. Can I help you?”

The golem groaned unintelligibly and brought its house-sized hand down on the man. Net blocked the attack with both arms, skidding backwards from the force, leaving twin trenches in the ground from his feet. The golem jerked its hand away and inspected the damage. Rocks broke from its arm and fell to the ground.

Net rumbled a low, dark laugh. “You can’t even attack me without harming yourself, can you?” He lowered his arms and glared up at the golem, his eyes tinted red. “And I was hoping you’d be worth my time.”

Zac dashed from the cover of the forest, making a beeline for the golem’s flank. Kara called down pure starlight straight into the creature’s face. As it roared out an ungodly shriek, nearby it was joined by a simultaneous cry of a girl in agony.

“It’s weak!” Zac leapt at the golem, readying a dagger. “Eternal Slumber!” The golem dissolved into the earth the second the dagger made contact, and Zac fell on his face. “Every time! What the hell, Kara!” He scrambled to his feet, fuming.

Kara winced. “It wasn’t my fault! You hit it.” She glanced around for Net. “Where’d he go?”

*****

Net followed the trail of vegetative carnage that the golem had left in its wake until he found another, much smaller golem. It snarled weakly at him and scuttled away into the woods. Net stepped into the forest to find another golem. It wasn’t the only one. He followed a veritable trail of small, frail creatures, all unique from each other, until he emerged in a clearing where a girl lay asleep under the shelter of a fallen tree. A tear-stained scarf was tied around her head, covering her eyes.

Zac and Kara crashed into the clearing, panting heavily. Zac stomped his foot. “There you a-”

Net clapped his hand over Zac’s mouth roughly. “Shut up.” He shoved Zac away and knelt in front of the girl. A pebble smacked him in the forehead, bringing his attention to a tiny golem crouching on the log, standing sentry. Nearby the earth began to morph and stretch upwards. Another golem took form, long and lanky, with a jagged mouth.

"-- you. . . Humans. . . You dare come near?. . . What -- you here?" The golem’s voice rattled and rasped, barely making out anything resembling words.

Net growled. “You attacked us first. I merely defended myself.” His gaze flickered from Zac to the girl sleeping on the ground. Zac crept deeper into the shadows and disappeared. Net crossed his arms. “So why? Why did you attack me? And the village?”

"It's simple, really. . . Humans -- greedy. . . Took me - home. . .-" The golem shook violently and crumbled, melting into the ground like its predecessors. Zac reappeared from the shadows behind the girl and shook her awake. She jolted upright and scrambled back. The small golem jumped from the log to land on her shoulder. She tensed away from Zac and grasped at the scarf over her eyes.

“What do you want?” Her soft voice crept through her fingers.

Net’s eyes narrowed. “What do I want?” He took a step closer. “You’re the one who-”

“Don't come any closer!” She shrieked.

Net stopped in his tracks. “Alright…” He sighed. “You’re a real piece of work. You could use a mentor...How about joining my guild?”

The girl turned away and fumbled to take off her blindfold. She pulled another from her pocket and tied it around her head. The golem on her shoulder shifted to keep the group in view. “...No, I can’t. I’m a monster, why would you even ask that.” She choked on her own words, then took a deep breath.

“Aren’t we all?” Net crouched in front of her. “We’re all different from the rest of them. Why not help us use that power for something productive instead of running rampant? Come with us.”

“I...Really? You mean I can?” The girl’s head turned slowly towards him. A glimmer of a smile spread on her lips. Net offered his hand. “Yes.”

*****

“To Emily, the newest member of the Unfortunate Cynics!” Net cheered and raised a mug high.

“So that’s what we’re called.” Zac mused. Various cheers rose up around the hall, welcoming Emily to the family. Emily shrank into her stool, embarrassed to be the center of attention.

“Thanks, everyone.” She replied with a shy smile.

“Introduce yourself to everyone, tell ‘em your speciality.” Net clapped her on the back.

“U-um well my speciality is Living Earth, I can conjure golems from the ground, like this little guy.” She points to the golem on her shoulder. “The bigger they are the slower they are, but obviously they pack a bigger punch. My flaw is that I can only see through the golems’ eyes.”

“Well don’t conjure one here, you’ll ruin my good floors.” Net laughed.