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so-litudinal · 5 years ago

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a playlist for the last 30 to 36 hours or so-- “i am alive, so very much alive”

after many, many years, i rediscovered katy perry’s first album, one of the boys, that i used to adore as a teenager. now quite a few of the songs kind of make me cringe at the thought of singing them out loud, for the lyrics are thoroughly terrible, BUT! i had somehow completely forgotten about this little gem: lost.

for the third time in 2019, i watched brief encounter last night— i do very much believe it’s as close to my heart as an absolute favourite can be. so obviously i must include rachmaninoff’s piano concerto no. 2, as scattered through the final, heart-wrenching scene of the film (”you’ve been a long way away. thank you for coming back to me.” i die every time), or as it comes in full on the soundtrack, lead by pianist eileen joyce.

i rewatched all that heaven allows on monday and the soundtrack was so beautiful i simply had to compile its primal material: liszt’s consolation no. 3, brahms’ first symphony finale, schumann’s warum? (how tender is richter’s interpretation?!) out of the fantasiestücke. still on the same topic, on letterboxd, someone used the lyrics of brand new’s the no seatbelt song as a review and... yes.

yesterday, perhaps for more reason than one, i had to think about björk’s moon— the live version especially. how i adore the biophilia era. "best way to start anew is to fail miserably— fail at loving, fail at giving, fail at creating a flow, then realign the whole and kick into the start hole"... special mention: out of the voltaic tour (lives in paris), who is it? (she sings “who is it that gave you back your crown?” and i internally exclaimed “you! you! you!”, thinking about björk, yes, but also about o.) + jóga (”coincidence makes sense only with you”).

last night, as i was walking the dog well past midnight, i thought of a poem (that i’ll post on here later), and upon writing and reworking it, for some reason, messiaen’s regard du père came to mind (i love pierre-laurent aimard take on the vingt regards sur l’enfant-jésus-- it’s always extremely clear). also out of the vingt regards, someone in a comment section said that they used le baiser sur l’enfant-jésus at their wedding ceremony. i can see why-- such a strange tenderness emanates from it.

when i got up today, i was in the mood for something very different-- i wanted to sing and to dance! i listened to some aya nakamura (i was mostly looking for djadja and pookie but i actually love the nakamura album like??! rumour says i might’ve shed a tear during la dot), amel bent’s la fête (”ma vie défile et je suis toujours au même endroit” hah) and most importantly some jenifer’s classics! (donne-moi le temps, which makes me v-e-r-y emotional, i genuinely sang my lungs out on this one in the bathroom lol — “est-ce que nos peurs valent à ce point la peine pour exiger aussi peu de nous-mêmes ?” —, tourner ma page, ma révolution — i’ve just realised today that the line “ma révolution porte ton nom” somewhat echoes the way i describe o.’s effect on me-- a quiet revolution —, des mots qui résonnent, j’attends l’amour, sur le fil, c’est de l’or — “la tendresse que tu mets dans ma voix”, priceless —, comme un hic, résiste, évidemment, la déclaration). listening to jen reminds me so much of my sister, 1. because they look similar, 2. because we went to two of her concerts (actually only stayed during the first one; the second time around we were late and had very crappy places so we decided to ditch it and go grab dinner instead heheh) and it’s such a sweet memory. it prompted me to get back in touch with her again, after a long time. we exchanged a few messages and apparently, just like me, she’d been thinking about our trip in london lately-- fond memory too! we’ll probably meet up soon. later i wanted something energetic still and i turned up björk’s debut and i was instantly brought back two years ago. i met the person around that time... soft, weird times indeed. i’ll never forget jogging in the rain and just entering a whole new state of being listening to this album— for instance, i felt i could very well explode during violently happy. like someone in love literally made me stop in my tracks. also, when i was listening to come to me earlier, i was picturing the softest displays of affection and protection... i wish. i love, love, love the vulnicura strings version-- even though she breaks my heart big time towards the end (3:53 to 4:01 is heart-wrenching, then up until the end...). as i’m writing this it seems that it only dawns on me now that the cornucopia show, about a week ago, was sumptuous. i’m grateful. grateful grapefruit (i called my grandmother earlier today and she was just eating a grapefruit!)

a few miscellaneous notes about those hours: home alone / sense of freedom / nice workout sessions / two baths / too much (never too much, though!) rose-scented bubble-bath / lots of candles / slowness of action / completeness of action / walks with the dog / better eating, less eating, more intentional eating (intermittent fast, late evening) / very late night walks / a vibrancy of the mind / thoughts on confessing a love / becoming overwhelmed with emotion upon watching tarot readings for guidance / a regained sense of lightness, of humanness / writing / cigarettes and pipes and wine and porto and bourbon (empty bottle) / reading / in awe and almost tears upon finishing olivia (the novel, then rewatching the film adaptation and, meh) / owning nighttime all the way through

#t #m

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trashbins-stuff · 3 years ago

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some info abt me:

PART ONE THIS IS PART ONE (just summary):

Haiii!! ^^ :3 we M.A.C constellation program (M.A.C is for Morbid Antisocial Cosmonaut), were a monoocnsious pdid collective

name: bin !!!!

! also goes by crt, ve, vinnie, vinh, cosmic brownie, sunshine, june is cool too!!

! friends/moots feel free to use candycane, ell, cosmic sunshine or any silly nicknames <3

! also goes by kin names

-collectively identify as arospec queer agirlboy (agender/genderless but want 2 be perceive as girlboy) (full girl half boy) + ghostgender + system-fluid + autospec, altho headmates have their own orientation yeah

-neurodivergent+plural

-kleptomaniac little rat bastard

-racoon, angel, crt monitor, ghost, norwegian forest cat, plush, dog, bunny (+) and hero/magical girl/leader/explorer archetrope

-our fav animal is red panda and our fav food is bread and our fav drink is winter melon tea and our fav minecraft item is cake and redstone powder an

-language we can speak: Vietnamese + English

-local manic pixie dream robot >:)

-SICK IN THE HEAD

-public enemy number one

-doodle request r closed

-art tag:

current #trashbins-art

old: #i know it look uggo but i was drawing with a mouse okay??? (it is very unique ik/j)

boundaries (dni and thin ice):

-neutral/agaisnt Palestine dont int ill block you

-Homophobic, Transphobic, Xenophobic, Islamophobic, Misogynistic, Racist, Sexist, Ableist, Discrimination, Truscum.. ILL BLOCK!!

-ppl that like to start drama, i might avoid you

-dont call my headmates siblings

-if were not supa dupa close and jsut mootie that int sometime then ill be happy if we have toher shared fandom but uhm when u get jsut a lil close enough and i see u reblog my fandom post that u arent in i get super uncomfy, huge pet peeve, big no no

before you follow, were:

-pro mspec les and mspec gay, anti harassment, other opinions we havent thought about much, neutral or dont care, note that our opinions is not who we are, some of you do not know this

-https://www.tumblr.com/blurds/189809870109/do-you-have-an-about-page-with-relevant

PART THE POWER OF TWOOOOOO (social, plz check carrd and pronoun page to know more):

-my pinterest

-discord: trashbin2587

-my spotify

-pronouns page (there are english, norwegian and vietnamese ver)

-pronouns.cc (go more in deep)

-carrd for overall

-carrd for headmate intro

-toyhouse

-I HAVE A PILLOWFORT NOW

-artfight

PART THIRD TIME THE CHARM!! (other stuff):

-sona info sheet (bins the objectsona also has 2 pairs of wings like humanoid form, im jsut too lazy to redraw lole):

Items desp:

-bin's personal trusty shovel, bin like to refer to it as "Shovel Phoenix Thoradotte!! WARRIOR OF BURIED TREASURE, DESTROYER OF DIRT AND MY BESTIE!!1!" (if the string snapped or get removed form the shovel, bin shut down and go to a stage kinda like parallelogram (obs) when jerard died and stuck in a dream-loop until the string (u can get a new one) is tied back. the string being there is kinda of holding everything bin want to forget in) bin's is hesitant to telling ppl about the shovel in fear of them hurting it