#heheh you're so polite

[plumadot]

ms. plumadot will you bless us with shinyduo

special kiss delivery for a lovely sailor!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[beloveds-embrace]

What if in og dukedom Kiong was also a Duke but from another kingdom, perhaps the "monsterous northern duke" webcomics like to do lol.

You meet him at a gala in his kingdom (maybe Price had to attend for some political reason?) and make polite conversation, not bothered by this massive intimidating man (you live with Simon after all)

And he feels so at ease with you. This kind and warm woman who is unafraid of him, doesn't shy away from him when he moves a little closer. Perhaps you don't know about the rumors around him being a monster.

But you did know, you mentioned as you watched noblewomen gossip behind their fans. They were just nasty words spoken by bored nasty people. And you smiled so warmly up at him, him of all people.

It made his chest tighten watching you leave to return to your husband's side. He can't help but start looking into you after the gala, wondering what your life is like back home.

And it breaks his heart hearing what people say about you. Calling you a barren woman who's destined for divorce, how you're doomed to become a fallen noble because of it. You were the sweetest woman he's ever met, there's no way fate would have take the chance of motherhood from you. Obviously this was your husband's fault.

And he was more than happy to take you from him and give you all the children you were meant to have.

Wait omg yes i love this 😫 always the cliche northern duke tho hehehe will never get bored of that trope LOL

Dukedom au masterlist

I’m just thinking of him unable to stop thinking about you, even when months passed. In just one night, one gala, you had thawed the ice around him and now, you are all his thoughts circle back to you, you, you.

The flickering firelight danced across the dark stone walls of König’s private study. The room was quiet save for the occasional crackle of the hearth and the faint rustling of paper as he read through the letters his informants had gathered. With each word he read, a knot of anger tightened further and further within his chest, his calloused fingers gripping the parchment.

“Barren,” the word stood out on the page like a cruel slash across delicate skin. “A failure of a wife. Her inability to bear children has become the subject of much speculation among the Southern court. Whispers grow louder of Duke Price seeking annulment or taking a mistress. Some say he might already have.”

König’s sharp, pale eyes lingered on the word. His jaw clenched so tightly it was a wonder his teeth didn’t crack. How dare they? How dare anyone reduce you to such indignity? The woman they were speaking of- the woman he could not get out of his thoughts no matter how much he tried- was kind, intelligent, poised beyond anything the shallow nobles of the Southern Kingdom could comprehend.

You spoke to him with no fear, no judgment. Not a single noble was worth half the delicate shoes you wore.

And this was what said nobles spoke of behind their gilded walls?

He exhaled through his nose, a harsh, controlled sound as he set the letter down. His hands, broad and powerful, trembled faintly as he dragged them over his face, trying to compose himself. His mind betrayed him, conjuring an image of you at the gala months ago, your warmth and grace so at odds with the venomous words on the page.

König stood abruptly, his imposing height casting long shadows across the room. The parchment fluttered to the desk, discarded, as he began pacing. Long strides carried him to the window, where snow fell silently beyond the frosted glass. He stared out, his breath fogging the pane, though his eyes saw nothing but the specter of his anger.

Unbelievable.

This wasn’t just idle gossip. He knew better. Rumors of this kind didn’t grow legs this much unless someone was feeding them. And who else but your own husband could have allowed such things to fester?

“Price.” König spat out the name like a curse.

The thought of the Duke filled him with a cold fury. John Price, who stood beside you at that gala with the possessive air of a man who knew what he had but didn’t deserve it. Price, who allowed these baseless, cruel rumors to circulate unchecked while you stood tall and weathered them alone, a lighthouse in the dark, deep oceans of nobility.

König’s hands curled into fists, his nails digging into his palms. What kind of man allowed his wife- his Duchess- to suffer such indignity? A real husband would have silenced those rumors before they even began. A real husband would have cherished you, ensured the world saw you as König did: radiant, strong, untouchable. A goddess in your own right.

But Price… Price was blind. Or perhaps worse- he simply didn’t care.

Unbelievable.

“It’s his fault,” König growled to himself, taking a deep breath to calm the anger rolling through him.

Still, idea burned like a brand in his mind. If Price had been the husband you deserved, these rumors wouldn’t exist. If he had protected you, König wouldn’t be reading about your supposed “failings” in a cold Northern study lacking your warmth. The hearth was just a pale imitation of you.

His gaze returned to the letter on his desk. He reached for it, smoothing the crumpled edges with surprising gentleness for a man of his size. He scanned the hateful words again, and instead of despair, something else stirred within him- resolve.

If John Price wouldn’t shield you from this venom, then König would. He didn’t care what it cost him. You deserved better, and he would ensure you knew it. The Northern nobility bowed to him; no rumors against you would be allowed once he got you with him.

König pulled out another parchment, clean and smooth, and he wrote a letter. He needed to know what you’d like in general to have around, to make this space more comfortable for you.

How could a man be so blind to the treasure he had? König truly couldn’t fathom it. You deserved love, adoration, and everything the world had to offer. If John Price couldn’t see that, König would ensure that you knew your worth.

He dreamed of sweeping you away to his estate, where the snow-capped mountains would shield you from the cruelty of society even if by the time he had you, all their tongues would be culled. He imagined you holding his children, your laughter filling the halls of his once-empty home.

Yes, he decided. You were meant to be his.

Months later, so much information gathered, another diplomatic meeting brought you back to the Northern Kingdom. This time, König ensured he was present, his heart pounding at the thought of seeing you again.

When you arrived, carefully stepping out of the carriage with John’s help, he couldn’t help but crack a smile; you looked so lovely, bundled against the cold in a fur-lined cloak and mittens, the deep and pale blues of your clothes making you look like a snowflake. He approached immediately, pale blue eyes bright.

“Duchess Price,” he said, bowing slightly. “Welcome back to the North.”

Your smile warmed him more than the roaring fireplaces in his castle ever could.

“Duke König,” you replied, offering your hand for him to kiss. “It’s lovely to see you again.”

He took your hand gently, his calloused fingers brushing against your gloved ones. “The pleasure is mine, my lady. Shall I show you the gardens? They’re especially beautiful this time of year.”

John watched from a distance, forced away as the servants began showing them to their room, though his sharp eyes narrowing as König led you away. Simon, standing beside him, crossed his arms with a grunt.

They… didn’t like this.

[archangeldyke-all]

Sevika and tarotreader!reader. Reader showing up in Zaun all of a sudden. Basically taking residence in a dark corner of the last drop. Sevika may have seen them from the corner of the eye but never played much mind until rumors spread that their prediction always come true. Sevika, who may not believe in fate, is intrigued.

i love this so much hehehe

men and minors dni

technically, all magic, whether it's derived from the arcane, divination, or religion; is outlawed in piltover and zaun.

technically.

but realistically, you and every other person you know with any kind of magical gift are highly valued commodities for the wealthy families in the city.

you see, good business decisions and solutions to political struggles are rarely born out of human ingenuity. nine times out of ten, if the city of progress is making any progress at all; it's because the powerful and wealthy have double and triple checked with their various psychics, priests, and mages that whatever they have planned will be beneficial to them, too.

for a while, you made some real good money working as mrs. kirraman's personal tarot reader.

you were under the assumption that because you avoided consulting her on any political or financial matter, that your background as a zaunite wouldn't come into question when you give your (sometimes hard to hear) fortunes and advice.

but when the cards started letting you in on secrets mrs. kirraman wasn't keen on letting out ((and yes i'm talking about @micronreadzztuff22 's garnet-- an oc that's having an affair with cassanda eheh)) the woman you once admired for her ventilation systems in your home city shows you a nasty side of herself.

"mrs. kirraman... i don't mean to accuse you of anything... but the cards are asking you to be careful about any secrets you might not want getting out."

"pardon?" the woman asked, her face paling in the candlelight.

"i... i worry your husband's growing suspicious of y-your... loyalty."

"what, exactly, are you accusing me of?"

"i'm not judging you, ma'am, and i promise you all my clients have my full confidenti--"

"who put you up to this?!"

"n-nobody. it's in the cards."

"oh, i should've known better than to trust some scamming sump-rat--"

"ex-cuse me?! mrs. kirraman, i've been advising you for three years, and the cards have never led you or i astray--"

"i recommend you shut your mouth and leave the premise before i call for security." she said as she stormed out of the room.

so, that was the end of that gig. you left the premise in the strong arms of a kirraman guard, muttering about summoning janna and cursing the family and woman. of course, you aren't capable of casting curses, but you enjoyed the spooked look your empty threats got out of her as you were dragged off of her property.

it's for the best. or at least, that's what the cards tell you.

you've got a little shop set up in the undercity now, just across the street from the last drop in the heart of zaun. your busiest hours are the evenings when people stumble out of the bar, a little buzzed and needing some advice.

business is fine. you're happy to be working back at home. you just can't help but feel like you're missing something.

and then you meet sevika.

from the moment she steps into your shop, you know she's gonna be trouble for you. she's all skeptical and guarded, looking at you like she can't tell if you're crazy or scamming her. it's hilarious.

"care for a reading?" you ask.

she raises an eyebrow at you. "...so are you a psychic or...?"

you chuckle. "a tarot reader. i don't read minds, just cards."

"hm." sevika sits down at the counter. "alright, fine. how much are you chargin'?" she asks. you chuckle.

"depends how hard your question is."

"what am i doin' tomorrow night?" sevika asks. you roll your eyes and shake your head, pulling two cards. wheel of fortune and the devil. you chuckle.

"gambling?" you guess.

sevika smirks. "easy guess."

"fuck off. you got a question or what?" you ask. sevika sighs.

"what do you know about silco?"

"i told you i'm not a psychic--"

"no no--" sevika cuts you off with a laugh. "i mean, you've heard of him, right?"

"sure." you say, nodding.

"he... might be interested in hiring you as an advisor." sevika mutters. you chuckle.

"you don't sound too happy about it."

"i don't believe in psychics."

"oh, janna, this is gonna be miserable, isn't it?" you groan. sevika huffs a laugh.

it isn't until you've been working with silco for a full month that sevika starts to respect your predictions' accuracy.

it takes another month for her to start being friendly to you.

and then, by month three, sevika's one of your closest friends.

and she asks for a reading.

"you sure you trust me?" you ask with a giggle as you shuffle your deck. sevika huffs and rolls her eyes.

"i've seen the shit you predict for silco. you knew finn was gonna flip before we even knew he was upset. c'mon, give me your worst."

you chuckle a bit, then flip a card. "huh." you mumble. sevika raises an eyebrow at you.

"what?" she asks.

the lovers. you chuckle and shake your head. "you got a crush on anybody?" you ask, flipping another card as sevika sputters across the desk.

"wh-- do i-- what the fuck are you talking about?" sevika's eyes are darting around the room like she's nervous, or something, and you don't understand why she's suddenly so antsy until you look down at your cards.

the high priestess. "oh." you giggle.

sevika's eyes fly to yours and she groans. "shoulda known better than to ask the fuckin' psychic i'm crushin' on to give me a reading, huh?"

you laugh. "only if you were hoping i wouldn't find out."

"fuck. i thought you were gonna tell me to quit smoking or something."

you snort. "i can tell you that, i don't need the cards for it."

"well..." sevika grunts and flails her hands out.

"well?" you ask. she groans again.

"you gonna charge me double if i ask you another question?" she asks. you grin.

"depends what the question is."

"for fuck's sa-- will you go out with me?" sevika whines. you grin.

"i knew you were gonna be someone special to me."

"oh yeah?" sevika asks with a hesitant smile. "the cards tell you that?"

"nah. didn't need 'em to know that." you say with a shrug.

sevika grins, and your cards flutter to the ground as she darts across the table to kiss you.

taglist!

@fyeahnix @lavendersgirl @half-of-a-gay @thesevi0lentdelights @sexysapphicshopowner

@kissyslut @chuucanchuucan @badbye666 @femme-historian @lia-winther

@lavenderbabu @emiliabby @sevikasbeloved @hellorai @my-taintedheart

@glass-apothecary @macaroni676 @artinvain @k3n-dyll @sevsdollette

@ellieslob @xayn-xd @keikuahh @maneskinwh0re @raphaellearp

@iamastar @sevikitty @mascdom @nhaaauyen @annesunshiner

@mirconreadzztuff22 @veoomvroom @lushh-s3vik4s @katyawooga @lesbodietcoke

@strawberrykidneystone @sevikasfan @fict1onallyobsessed @greenhazes

[mochinomnoms]

Ooo imagine meeting Mama and Papa Leech before you and your eel get together but the parents know their son loves you.

🥺 they'd be so happy that their freak son(s) found someone so sweet and patient. The actual interaction depends on where you're meeting them, though.

Maybe NRC is having a family weekend where everyone's parents, siblings, and caretakers come to see the school. Perhaps they have activities and club booths like at the SDC, and Floyd is showing them around campus, demonstrating his new parkour skills much to his mother's horror and father's delight. Mr. and Mrs. Leech are dressed quite nicely, from their shoes to their hair, they're posh, polite, and rather mafia-esque much to everyone's concern. Maybe they don't want to know what the Leech family does for a living… Regardless, Floyd takes delight in dragging you over to meet his parents. His mother, a tall, slim lady with a sleepy, but sweet face, greets you with a firm hug. She gives Floyd a run for his money with the way she nearly squeezes you like a tube of toothpaste. She calls you by your name, which is a surprise as you haven't introduced yourself yet and Floyd's only called you Little Shrimpy in front of his parents.

“Of course I know your name, it's quite rare that Floyd calls any of this friends by their name, so I remember yours very clearly. He loves fawning over you during our calls you know, it's so sweet seeing my boy with a crush—”

Floyd, covering her mouth with his hand, mutters something about not making him look uncool as he decides to drag her away to where Mr. Leech was studying Jade's club booth.

On the other hand, maybe Jade decided to take you on a trip to the northern Coral Sea, where his family takes residence in a summer home. The water is still fairly cold, but there's no ice floes anymore, so it's actually quite nice, as long as you don't dive into the deep sea. No, Jade takes you to the home that's settling in an underwater cove, not too far from the reef, but deep enough that it's private. Jade wanted to show you around the sea to get a gauge of likely you'd be to want to stay there forever (for no reason in particular.) The stripes on his hips and arms occasionally glow a light aquamarine every time you reach for him. They glow particularly bright when you have to hold onto him when swimming, arms so tightly wrapped around his chest that he's surprised you can't feel his heart pounding against his rib cage. This time, it's his father, a large, thick, eel merman with blue coloring and navy stripes, that makes a comment.

“My, my Jade. I and here I thought you were grown enough to control your glowing. Does your sweet friend here know why you're so bright and colorful around them? Hehehe, little one, should I have you start calling me father now or after the wedding—hey! Why are you swimming off now, your mother isn't going to be any nicer about it than I!”

Jade was ignoring your pointed questions and his father's cackles as he briskly swam back to the house to his mother. His only hope was that she was too preoccupied with Floyd to point out his now LED bright stripes. It's like if blushing was also a bright orange neon sign screaming, “I'M IN LOVE WITH YOU PLEASE, I'M BEGGING—” to you every time he looks at you.

[taro-bae]

♡Forehead Kisses! PT.2

☆──── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ────☆ TWST (Second Years)

Summary: you decide to give them a kiss on their forehead

Characters: second years

Notes: reader not specified, can be yuu

gender neutral, fluff, pining, no warnings

☆──── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ────☆

Riddle Rosehearts

Riddle is not used to any forms of physical display of affection, he never received them. Don't kiss his forehead in public he'll be very embarrassed and flustered, and you'll probably lose your head. In private, however, he is a puddle in your hands. Cup his cheeks and kiss his forehead he will just melt into your hold. He's unsure of what he's feeling, but he loves it. Very shy at first, but will quietly whisper "...again". Absolutely adores it when you do it during cuddling. It makes his feel cared for and appreciated.

☆──── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ────☆

Ruggie Bucchi

He's a busy boy, constantly running errands for Leona, doing side hustles. He will make time just for forehead kisses. When he sees you, he'll run up giving you a quick hug. When you kissed his forehead, his fluffy ears twitched in suprise. He immediately leaned into your hold with his signature giggle audible. He has slight blush on his cheeks as his small tail wags behind him. "I've gotta go, hold on to those kisses for me, sheeehehe." That's it. You've created a little monster. every time he sees you, he'll come over, so you give him another kiss before running away to do his duties. He'll definitely pay you back. He will share his food with you, partly on his hyena instincts as a partner laughing to show he's very happy.

☆──── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ────☆

Azul Ashengrotto

You broke him. He is not good with displays of affection, so don't do it in public he wants to maintain his composed business persona. If you do, he will be a flustered stuttering mess. He's a bit dramatic and overwhelmed, but at the same time, he's very touch starved. He will be a little insecure if you actually mean the action. "C-could you do it again?" If Floyd or Jade find out, they won't let him live it down. He wants the kisses even if they turn him into a blabbering mess. To him, the kisses feel like they are washing his insecurities away.

☆──── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ────☆

Floyd Leech

You'll need a ladder and a med kit. Floyd is unpredictable. Everyone knows that. He will lift you up into a hug, squeezing you super tight. He will beg for more, "Hehehe, Shrimpyyy~". He won't let you go anytime soon. If you don't kiss Floyd again, he will stop and glare are you with a blank expression. "Come onnnn. Do it again~". When you kiss his forehead, Floyd would kiss you back with a few nibbles on your cheeks if he feels like it. Beware his teeth are sharp. He's obsessed now, he will skip his Montre Lounge shifts to come to you for more.

☆──── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ────☆

Jade Leech

Again, you'll need a ladder. He's an interesting story. He will not be caught off guard. He lifts a hand to his chin, giving you a silent closed eye smile. He remains very calm and polite thanking you for your kind gesture. He leans down to you, wanting to tease and get a reaction out of you, looking directly into your eyes with a subtle scheming look. "What shall I do for you, dear, so you do that for me again~" Jade is very intrigued by the customs of kissing and how your kisses feel. Jade will do things for you just to see what will get you to kiss his forehead again.

☆──── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ────☆

Kalim Al Asim

Absolute sunshine of a boy, is so happy and cheery as soon as your lips make contact with his forehead. He will automatically kiss you back, returning your gesture. "Thank you! You're so cute!" He litters your face with kisses pulling you into an embrace. He just loves anything you do if he is on the receiving end of your affection. "You should do it more often!" He will pull you into his arms holding you close and kissing your own forehead a few times nuzzling into your neck. He wants all your love.

☆──── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ────☆

Jamil Viper

Jamil is very reserved, he does not do pda. When you kiss his forehead, he will be caught of guard. His face will remain somewhat stoic but blush creeps onto his ears and cheeks, he will pull his hood over his head, looking away. Jamil will appreciate the gesture as a thank you for his actions, if he makes you food or wins a basketball match. He doesn't mind forehead kisses. They're not too much and make him feel appreciated and noticed. After some time, he will start initiating them towards you, subtle kiss when handing you some food he cooked or when you fall asleep.

☆──── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ────☆

Silver

Silver fell asleep outside again, leaning against a wall behind him. You approached him, class was going to start soon. When you lean down and kiss his forehead, his eyes softly flutter open as he wakes up. "Oh, y/n. It's you," He says very softly, voice full of gentle affection. Forehead kisses are his favourite. They are innocent yet intimate and enough to show someone how much you love them. Wake him up with forehead kisses. He believes your kisses are a cure for his unexplainable sleeping condition. That a true loves kiss can wake him up every time.

☆──── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ────☆

[octuscle]

The car makes the man

James didn't actually want a car. Cars were the death of the planet. Cars were an expression of a cult of masculinity. Cars were time wasters. But the new job he had required a car. He couldn't cope with his deadlines without one. The new job paid well. The car was paid for twice and three times over thanks to the pay rise. And he only wanted something small and used. The car had to be reliable and use little or no fossil fuel. And above all, it had to be small. Finding a parking space in James' neighborhood was hell.

James had prepared himself. On his iPad, he had selected a number of possible offers. And now he was walking through the rows of used car dealers far outside the city, looking for the small cars he had liked on the internet. And then he saw his nightmare: the epitome of a used car dealer approaching him. A man almost 2 meters tall, corn-fed, toothpaste grin. And a handshake like a vice.

"Hi, I'm Honest Pete, how can I help you son?" James said looking around first, thank you very much! Pete said that wouldn't be a problem. Could he offer a coffee? James nodded and tried as hard as possible not to make eye contact with the pushy salesman. Pete disappeared, only to return shortly afterwards with a tin cup. James was surprised, he had expected an espresso cup. "You look like a guy who drinks his coffee strong, black and hot. Am I right?" James was actually more of an herbal tea drinker. But to be polite, he took the cup and took a sip. Shit! It was bloody strong! "So son, who's the car for? Your girlfriend? You won't have a daughter who can drive yet." Pete laughed boomingly. James smiled curiously and said that he needed a car for work. "I knew you were lost. Follow old Pete!" James actually wanted to protest. But my God, Pete was a professional. Maybe he should make a suggestion. "On a side note, son: I like your haircut! A good honest mullet is the only way a man can wear his hair long. Not that hipster man bun shit. Am I right?" Hehehe, thought James. Business in the front, party in the back. And he had a lot of partying in the back. Pete asked what his name was. James replied and Pete slapped him on the shoulder. "Jim, nice to meet you. I bet we're going to have a lot of fun today.“ Just as James was about to reply that it was "James" and not "Jim", Pete took a tin of chewing tobacco out of his pants, took a pinch and held it out to James. "Sorry, smoking's not allowed here. But maybe this will help you." Shit, Pete was a good judge of character. James's fingers and teeth were more than enough to recognize the smoker. James gratefully accepted a pinch. Good stuff!

James and Pete passed a row of sports cars. James looked not uninterested. But Pete recognized his look and waved it right off. "Son, this European shit is not for you. You'll only fit in these cars if you're anorexic. And you easily weigh 260 pounds, don't you?" The man was good, James thought to himself…. It might be closer to 280 pounds right now, he thought as he patted the beginnings of a beer belly. "Son, no shame! A man's belly has to jiggle when he laughs. Otherwise he's not a man." Pete laughed again and his belly jiggled. James joined in and his belly jiggled too. "Besides," Pete punched James' shoulders again. "I know the problem. Still a brick wall of a man in high school, but once you have to work…" "You said it, Pete!" replied James. "I mean, in high school days, I lived on the football field and in the gym formally. But now…" Pete said, not fishing for compliments here, Jim was still one of the big boys. It was all the more important to find the right car for him. James snorted out the chewing tobacco and took a sip of coffee. It was still hot, but now it didn't burn the roof of his mouth. Pete indicated that James had something on his mouth. Fuck yeah, dew tobacco liked to get stuck in his mighty full beard. He rubbed his beard and asked "better?". Pete nodded and asked Jim's shoe size. At least a 12, right? James replied a 12 in tuner shoes, more like a 13 in boots like now. "I thought so" Pete replied. "We need something with big pedals, don't we James?" "Mate, it's Jim, not James! And the pedals shouldn't be the only thing that's big about the car." "Sure, it should suit you, big boy! But I think we've got just the thing for you here! Perfect for work. You can fit all your tools in the back. And if you go hunting, you'll have room for a dog, a rifle and a deer."

Jim took off his trucker's cap and ran his fingers through his sweaty, greasy hair. 8,000 dollars was way over his limit. His heating business wasn't making that much money at the moment. Oil heaters weren't particularly popular at the moment. But the car was awesome: big, powerful and manly! He opened the door and climbed into the driver's seat. Damn, it was like coming home. Pete was an asshole. Of course he had hit his taste exactly. He liked the car so much that he got a hard-on in his old army pants. And it didn't get any smaller when he felt Pete's hand on the bulge in his pants.

Pete became Jim's best buddy. At first they only fucked so that Jim could get a good price for the pickup. But they became the best fuck and gym buddies you could imagine. The only thing Jim couldn't persuade Pete to do was a mullet. Honest Pete was just a miserable white-collar bourgeois. But he sucked Jim's cock like the devil!

Pics by @ki-kink (he has more stuff like that!)

[r0-boat]

It's me again teehee~

I came with another request for headcanons because I'm thirsty for these men. So, let's imagine that the 5 kings + Belphegor are gonna do the mimir, but suddenly MC just enters into the room in flirty mode, starting to undress and they're wearing lingerie. Loved to see their reaction hehehe~✨

Aaaaahhhggggg

Going crazy for this ask!

Whb Kings+belphegor reaction to S/o in lingerie

Satan

He likes tight ribbon-like fabric that hugs your skin not too tight but just enough to show a little bit of your body pudge. Good Lord he loves pudgy thighs. If he sees just a little bit of that sweet naked body bulging through the fabric he will go Feral.

Speaking of feral you cannot have nice things with Satan. Any clothes he deems nice he will just tear it off your lingerie, especially lingerie which is not an exception. He will toy with the tight little ribbons with his claws slowly cutting it like he's unwrapping a little gift. Smiling like an idiot when he watches your chest or your thighs come free from the snug bindings.

He will still leave some of the damaged and discarded lingerie on you just so he can see you scratched up, marked your ass bruised, and the pretty little clothing now tattered and broken.

That's when he finally takes you, sliding his cock inside but not finishing inside you no... He wants to finish his masterpiece. Instead taking out his cock to stroke until he cums all over your body. If he could he would Take a photo of this you fucked out drunk and beaten scratched and bruised and save it on his phone screen.(He doesn't because you would kill him)

Mammon

One favorite? Why does he have to choose one favorite? Why can't he just buy and have you wear All of them. Yes master That's a good human, that's it, come closer, strip for him and give him a proper fashion show...

He politely asks you to show yourself turn around let him see everything, You may own him but that doesn't stop him from admiring who owns him. He is hard and he knows you're staring so he parts his robes just enough for himself to spring out. He wants you to know what You do to him.

At the end he still rock hard as he gets up to hug you from behind He asks you which one is your favorite. He likes all of them. And he really likes that you put on a show for him. He will definitely do this more often, He does have a third closet he doesn't use for anything so maybe that's where He will put all the sexy clothes and jewels he wants you to wear for him. He only wants you to wear these things because you own them everything he owns is yours.

He wonders how you would look in the fanciest get up not just lingerie He wants you to parade around your wealth in the fanciest of Tartaros parties. Well maybe you should wear the lingerie underneath,hehe

Leviathan

Wanting the tease the demons of envy you tied him up The rope you used to strangle him now tying his wrist so tightly. As a little treat you do have one of those strangulation collars around his neck just in case he gets a little too rowdy. And with a little extra treat a gag in his mouth. He glares at you if looks could kill you would be dead 20 times over snarling as he sinks his fangs into the rubber ball so hard you think it might break.

But his eyes immediately soften when you take off your clothes revealing soft white lace, He drinks you in, His heart pounding in his chest the urge the need to touch you yet not getting what he wants burning jealousy inside him. His mindswarming with thoughts of how long You have worn that underneath your clothes this whole time. You see his mind wandering giving you that look you know so well You pull on his choker.

He can't spit nasty words, He can't tell you to hang He can't break from his strangulation rope to fuck you till you can't stand. All he could do is feel the tightness in his pants tightening more as you break him down with each tug on his choker. He can't even buck his hips when you sit in his lap.

When Levi is done being difficult you finally let him go his eyes no longer filled with resistance dropping his facade to just pure want. When he finally touches you he looks as if he's in a trance.

Beelzebub

You wore that underneath your normal clothes as you went clubbing with him in Abyssos. He didn't even realize you were wearing that He didn't even know because he wasn't taking you to any of the sex clubs. It was just a normal night of fun until his hand slipped underneath your shirt his eyes widened. Now he wish he did to a sex club.

He thought his mind was playing tricks on him at first before dipping down again and... He never took you to a bathroom so fast he practically ripped off your normal clothes his breaths heavy. He has never been so hard in his life! There you are wearing this underneath your clothes The whole time no underwear no nothing just this!

He's upset that he didn't take you to a sex club so he could properly enjoy you but that will have to wait. For now he's going to take you in bathroom. He will push the Lacey clothing aside and fuck you His mouth and tongue running across the fabric.

After the quickie, which wasn't really quick because he lasted multiple rounds. Your clothes are ripped off but he didn't care He needed you back at the castle in his bed right fucking now carrying you in his arms His jacket over you.

Lucifer

You caught him off guard.... How dare you. He didn't even know you could do that. You child of Adam are full of surprises. He expected a lot of things when he turned his chair but not for you to drop your clothes. Sure he should have because you were a whore of a human being/affectionate But he did not expect what you were wearing underneath. The moment he took his eyes off the paper he was holding in his hand then unto you His eyes widened, His breath hitching. He turned around before getting up out of a seat.

You feel as though the end of your holes is near as he slowly walks up to you, He inspects you at first. Making a noise that you've never heard him make before It sounded like a hiss kind of? Or maybe a pur??

He knew the existence of lingerie but he didn't know he would see it's in person today. It is a surprise but to be honest a welcome one But he will have to punish you for your rather bold decision of showing it off in front of him. A punishment he is excited to enact.

Oh don't worry he will make you scream and rise but the lingerie will stay intact. He's having way too much fun playing and feeling the fabric as you ride and scream on his cock. You look beautiful... Like an angel, albeit a lewd one.

Belphegor

Lingerie soft fabric very comfy. Makes you look sexy makes him want to touch you 10 out of 10 would fuck you in his sleep again.

He prefers the lingerie that value comfort over sexiness. He will be obsessed with touching you when you wear that. He wants you to wear more things like that to bed. Being pretty much his teddy bear when you're wearing something He wants to make sure it's soft.

Tho no matter how much he loses sleep when he is trying to press his cock in between your flushed thighs he will not comment on that. Listen if sex helps beleth sleep that it should work on him.

He likes to play with the fabric well he drifts off. Pressing his whole body against you feeling the softness of your body and the softness of the fabric.

[plaidos]

I have no particular dog in this fight as I'm not a GF superfan or anything, but I would like to question a bit of your analysis.

I think you're right that the version of GF where Dipper is transmasc makes Mabel's canonical actions transphobic.

I would like to question the insinuation that those same actions would've been "normal sibling rivalry" (?!) were Dipper closeted transfem or even cismasc, as opposed to "worst sister ever" (!?) behavior. Especially if we're going with transfem Dipper, those incidents of bullying remind me much more of patterns of bullying against transfeminine people, and intersex people CAMAB (such as myself) that I've personally witnessed/experienced.

Also, to the idea that Mabel being transphobic fundamentally changes her character in some way. Like, sometimes characters we're supposed to like hold a bigoted attitude which they will unlearn over the course of the story. Sokka from Avatar and Weiss from RWBY come to mind. Mabel being one of those characters doesn't fundamentally change her storyline or arc.

you’re right, Mabel’s actions and teasings are still mean with a transphobic undercurrent — even if Dipper is a dyadic cis boy, to be honest. but she’s also a twelve year old born in 1999. i too have received the kind of bullying associated with the way Mabel acts towards Dipper about his gender, but i’ve also had similarly “jokes” from loved ones who didn’t realise how shitty they were being because they didn’t have the political framework to analyse what is fucked up about it.

but if we’re reading Dipper as transmasc, it’s like… everybody he knows is accepting enough of his identity to gender him correctly, but they’re still totally willing to say things to him that you would categorically know are bigoted even at that age. like a twelve year old cisgender girl who knows about trans people and respects their existence might not realise how needlessly callous she is being when she teases her (seemingly) cisgender brother for having “girly” interests, but that same cisgender girl would probably be able to identify that her openly transgender brother wouldn’t want to wear makeup and that it would be incredibly fucked up to make him. i’m not saying it’s “right” but Mabel needs to actively Be A Transphobe (rather than just having some twelve year old cis girl ideas about gender & masculinity) to treat Dipper the way she treats him if he is openly transmasculine, but I feel like there’s more of a plausible deniability. i feel like the Mabel we see in the show is a couple years away from being like “wow, that was spectacularly mean of me, i hope that didn’t have an effect on Dipper’s self worth”

i feel like if (in the crazy alternate universe where this is possible) there were an episode where Dipper came out as transfem after feeling hurt by Mabel’s jokes she would be really torn up about it. she’d say something like “i’m really sorry, i didn’t know you felt so strongly about gender… i thought we were just joking around but i should be paying more attention to how you feel, Dipper…. wait, maybe you don’t want to be called Dipper any more. Oh no I AM a bigot!!!” and then Soos would come in and be like “heheh. total hatecrime dude” and then we’d cut to Bill being like “i don’t care what gender you are pine tree… i’m gonna get that GIRL if it’s the last thing I do” except girl would be obviously ADR’d over in Alex Hirsch’s normal voice with his live action mouth over Bill’s animated mouth

also transfeminine Dipper has just always made more sense. the big argument was that he uses a nickname instead of his birth name which he keeps a secret. and that would make sense if Dipper had a girl’s name, but Dipper’s birth name is “Mason”. so he actually is choosing to not use a male name and instead use something gender neutral, even though he really loves matching with his twin sister & having matching names is a family tradition — so he probably has a pretty big reason to not use it, considering he still doesn’t even with all the reasons he has to.

[giggle-guru]

Customer Service

Okay so I will be redoing this when I’m not sick LOL think of this as a rough draft instead. Because it is certainly not a finished product. Alas, this is sort of the idea that I’ll be basing the finished audio off of! I won’t be posting any audios, but I will get scripts done while I’m sick and then record them all when my throat isn’t achy and swelled up. Thanks for listening to the raw version LMAO, I am going to go try to sleep this off.

The script is below the cut but it’s likely inaccurate as of right now. I’ll reblog this when I switch out the audio and fix it all up!

[Visual note: Imagine the exact scene that this is in LOL]

Gangle: [smiling] Before we get into all that, first things first, are you smiling?

Jax: [confused] Uhh…no?

Gangle: [serious] Why not?

[Visual Note: Chair has six arms that come out as it reclines. His ankles are secured and his arms are raised above his head.]

[Sound Effect: Mechanical arms whirring]

Jax: [surprised, slightly nervous] Ah....uh..wait, wait, nobody can see this right?

Gangle: [giggly] Of course not, silly! After all, the other employees have been doing a fantastic job at listening and being oh so polite to our customers! You should try it!

Jax: [sarcastic] Pfft…right, right, so can you uh…get this [BLEEP] chair to let me go?

Gangle: [more giggly] Hehehe, sure! If you smile.

Jax: [eye roll] I’m not going to smile for a bunch of people that aren’t even real-

Gangle: [chipper] Well, that’s just not the attitude that I can tolerate! Thankfully, Caine was generous enough to give me full control over the punishment and I know just what’s going to happen in this employee re

Jax: [grumbling] Oh, great, so what are you going to do? Give me another pep talk? Cause it’s not going to work.

Gangle: [slight irritation] Nope! Even better! I'm going to [serious] make you smile.

Jax: [fake laugh] Make me smile? Your jokes won’t work because you're not funny.

Gangle: [more irritated, but smiling] Wow! You are really pushing my buttons today! I wonder what would happen if I pushed yours?

Jax: [squirming slightly] What are you talking about?

Gangle: Why this of course!

[Visual Note: One of the hands begins to poke repeatedly at his side, causing Jax to flinch]

Jax: [suppressed laugh] H-Hey! What the-?! What gives!

Gangle: [mockingly] It’s implemented in the training manual, you should have read it. Now, what’s it gonna be? A smile, or should I get the backup hands involved?

Jax: [groaning, an involuntary smile making its way onto his face] You’re such a pain in the [BLEEP]!

Gangle: [annoyed] You’re the one being a pain. Now just smile, it’s part of your job.

Jax: [snapping] Fine! Fine, I’ll smile!

Gangle: [suspicious] Yeah? Already?

Jax: [grumbling through clenched teeth] Yeah, yeah. You want a smile? Here.

[Visual Note: Jax forces a strained, obviously fake smile.]

Gangle: [pauses, then tilts her head, unimpressed] Hmmm… That’s not a smile, Jax. That’s a grimace. A very... forced grimace.

Jax: [tight smile as he struggles to hold back, fuming] I am smiling! That counts, you [BLEEP]!

Gangle: [manic] Now, I simply cannot let that behavior pass! We don’t speak like that in front of the customers!

[Visual Note: Another hand begins poking at his other side. Jax squirms again, clearly struggling to keep his composure as the chair's mechanical arms continue their teasing ticklish assault, now trailing up and down his sides as another set begins tickling his underarms.]

Jax: [retorts, but a laugh slips] Oh, get over yourself, we can't even -HA! Stop that!

Gangle: [smiling wider] Relax! I’ll stop when you really show me that can-do attitude I’ve been waiting for all day.

Jax: [gritting teeth, trying to hold back a laugh] You’ve got to be kidding me. This is insane.

Gangle: [giggling uncontrollably] Oh, come on now, Jax! A real smile! It’s not that hard!

Jax: Bite me-

[Visual Note: With that comment, the hands begin scribbling at his stomach and sides, and dig into his underarms]

Gangle: Would you look at that? You can smile! I knew you had it in you, you’re on track to be employee of the month at this rate!

Jax: [giggling] Okay! Okay, I’m smiling!

Gangle: Oh I know you are. How can I tell make sure it’s a real one? I only have the highest expectations for my employees, and I ought to make sure that you’re being honest!

Jax: [giggling] I-I am!

[Visual Note: Another set of arms come from the chair, moving to begin squeezing at his knees]

Jax: No! Nonono! Not there!

Gangle: Listen to that laughter! I bet you’re feeling better already. Now then, let’s move onto the next step of your training, a little role play, shall we! Pretend I’m a customer.

Jax: [giggling more] Stop it! What are you on about?!

Gangle: Hello there, kind sir! Could I please get a number 34?

Jax: [shriek] W-What?! Gangle, I can’t-!

Gangle: Sir, are you laughing at me? That is quite rude!

Jax: [giggling hysterically]

Gangle: [mock disappointment] Yikes, looks like you haven’t learned just yet! Don’t worry, I know just what to do as the best manager you’ve ever had!

[Visual Note: A final set of hands quickly removes his shoes and begins spidering along his paws]

Jax: NO! No, no, no! I can’t! I can’t, you [BLEEP]!

Gangle: You know, all day I’ve tried my best to get everything to go perfectly, and you’ve done nothing but be a thorn in my side!

Jax: [laughing hysterically] Okay! Okay, okay, I’m sorry, alright? I’m sorry! I’m smiling! I’ll do whatever you need me to!

Gangle: Anything?

Jax: [squeal] Anything! Just stop it!

Gangle: You mean it? You’ll perform every task I ask of you? With 110% effort?

Jax: Yes! 200%! Just quit it!

Gangle: Then it’s settled! Excellent job, you’ve completed your additional employee training! Unfortunately, you missed your break so you’ll have to get back out there now and show me that you’ve learned from this experience!

Jax: [panting] Fine, fine. Whatever.

Gangle: [serious] What was that?

Jax: [flashing a smile] I mean yes, sir! Of course, Gangle, I’ll be right out there.

Gangle: [happily] Much better!

[TV screen shutting off]

Jax: [sigh] She’s something else.

[bimu2ndo]

More of polites and tiresias please I have 2 ideas too if you want them

First is a bunch of souls yelling at tiresias about him not telling them what would've been their future because it's not like it's going to happen and cue polites covering tiresias' ears and then scolding the souls for yelling at him

Second is literally just the 2 of them cuddling(polites is obviously the big spoon) with this interaction

Eurylochus: so you guys are dating

Polites: yep

Eurylochus: so you're the big spoon and he's the little spoon?

Tiresias: nope I am the fork(yes this is a nod to his voice actor holding a fork in the stream)

Polites: he is the little spoon

hehehe

[hammyham-o-o]

WOW thank you all for voting on the last poll! (I summoned the epic fandom YESSS)

The entire music is banger line after banger line really, so naturally I MADE ANOTHER ONE MUAHAHA

(Also there's extra Telemachus in this one bc I didn't have any of his lines in the last one, and we'll be fine is criminally underrated 💥)

Like last time suggest lines I missed in the comments!! I swear there are ENDLESS amazing ones Jorge is a genius fr

[venuswarmlight]

Alastor as a bf <3

I think that Alastor as a boyfriend would not be like a pink fantasy. He would search for a weak person, someone as powerful as him but with a soft mind, just for him to break and possess, for him to care and love, for his to own. In a relationship, he would not be a PDA fan, but you would always wear his gifts as a way to express your love to him, like necklaces and hats.

Yeah, he likes the idea of being loved by someone, worshipped by someone and becomes crazy at the thought that you would do anything for him, it raises up his ego, it makes him feel that he's a god and you're his believer. His favorite treasure.

He's definitely Ultraviolence—Lana Del Rey. At first, it starts beautiful, he hunts you from far away, studies your likes, dislikes, your routine, your whole life, and then he attacks, he makes you feel like you're the only one in the world that he would settle for (and it's true), but here comes the problems.

You discover how he is actually, you realize that he's not just polite, handsome, divine, he can be rough, selfish, maniac and obsessive, he likes you as a toy, as something that has no voice or opinion, he knows what you're capable for, he knows your powers, so he rathers having you as his partner than his enemy. Because god, he's so fucking smart he knows what's the best for him.

Even if you don't agree, he is in love with you, but he doesn't know how to show it. He's a killer, he doesn't have feelings for anyone, but then you came. You're his first time, you're the one that made him feel like a highschool girl, and fuck he's trying to understand you, but please, understand him too.

He shows his feelings by material things, by acts of service, and when you became intimate, he whispers you the sweetest things in your ear, he hugs you tight to his body, he smells your hair as he admires his cute little thing.

Is he aggressive? He would hit you if you get out of his control, yes. Is he manipulative? Yes, he would run after you then with flowers and gifts to make sure you don't leave him.

What's the thing he liked most of you? You're quiet. He loves quiet, he loves the fact that he can tell you the nastiest things and not even a word would come out of your mouth. He loves that you're easy to handle, so he doesn't feel weak. He loves that you're loyal, he gets hot by thinking that even if he's not good for your mental health, you would still look for him. He loves the idea of you.

And if someone hurts you, he'll make sure they know what they did. I promise, you don't wanna find out.

As the time passes, he gets more empathy with you, and learns how to love you the right way, he listens, he tries to let you do your things by yourself, and he becomes more in love with you, with your trueself, like, no, he doesn't stop being a psychopath bf, but he realizes that you're not just a thing he can throw away, and if he wants to keep you with him, he has to treat you the right way.. Because if he doesn't, he's more than sure that you would never ever go back with him, after how he abused you.

Alastor as a boyfriend is not the best, but he's learning how to be human.

————

YEAH I KNOW IT'S KIND OF SAD BUT I had to vent in some way, hehehe, love ya

[routeless-writer]

nsfw below cut. (cw: bimbo yuu, implied fem yuu/no pronouns, dubcon probably, implied dumbification?, i think? idk i didn't feel like writing an entire sex scene, if y'all are good little followers and ask fuckin nicely you'll get a part two ig.)

in love with the idea of being like. bimbocore. around riddle mcfucking rosehearts. do you even understand okay okay okay shuddup

riddle fucking hates you at first. not like, hates you hates you, but you're the antithesis of everything he was raised to be: smart, talented, modest, gentlemanly and polite. but you? you're ditzy, your grades are horrendous, you're immodest and vulgar, and you're still fucking insanely hot. that's what he hates. he hates that you're still able to capture his heart, and make his whole body flush.

he hates the way you practically hop into his lap any chance you get. how you dress so far out of the bounds of the uniform it's not even funny. that skirt cannot be up to dress code regulations! and for seven's sake, button up your shirt. it's distracting...

the way you lick pastry cream from your lips or fingers at every unbirthday party, staring at him. he knows you know what you're doing him. the dumb little giggles you let out when he lectures you.

"just because you're not from this universe doesn't mean you can skim by in class. you need to be tutored, prefect! as a housewarden, you cannot fail! being pretty doesn't guarantee you a career."

"heheh, you think i'm pretty?~" you reply in that same sing-song voice every time. the same voice you call his name with, hugging him close to your tits, where he can smell your overly-sweet perfume, and sevens what he wouldn't give to stay there.

he's made up his mind. he's had enough of your teasing, your flirty bedroom eyes from across the lecture hall, the way your hands brush against his face and arms so casually, the way he just cannot look you in the eyes for too long without feeling the blood in his brain shoot somewhere-fucking-else. you're flunking. as a prefect of night raven college, he can't let this slide. you could get expelled, and then where would you go? he's sitting you down for a tutoring session.

a tutoring session that winds up in you feeling stupider than ever in his presence. he's wondering aloud how you can possibly be this dumb, how you could be so absorbed in anything other than your studies, so invested in sexual innuendo and dressing to attract attention.

"is that truly what you do in your free time? sleep around and flirt with every boy you meet here? is this fun for you, watching how angry you make me?"

he's beyond frustrated, nigh on shouting, when he realizes he's got you backed up against the table...

....and he snaps, pushing you face down onto the table and nipping along your neck. he shoves his gloved fingers into your mouth to silence your sudden noises. you can feel his leg slipping between your own, pressing against your heat, and you push yourself against him. he hums, and you can tell he's grinning that mean smirk behind you.

"you can make it up to me, rose. even you aren't so dumb that you can't follow orders, right?"

[archangeldyke-all]

what about sev and reader meeting little fucker'd girlfriend's parents?

sevika it's like "im killing your daughter if she hurts my baby" and then one of the parents it's like "no, im killing your daughter if she hurts my daughter" and then sevika just shrugs like "yeah that's fair"

this is just so funny i'm such a sucker for family fics heheh

men and minors dni

your daughter's been dating her girlfriend for two years now, and in the fall they'll be going off to college together, so you and sevika figured it was time to bite the bullet and meet her parents.

it's not that you don't want to. it's just that... your family is definitely a lot for those not as used to it as smooches is (smooches is the nickname the twins came up with for little fucker's girlfriend-- because of all the kisses the two are always sharing) and smooches comes from a quiet family.

she's an only child, both of her parents are super smart lawyer types-- and you and sevika both worry that they'll take one look at your home (currently in disrepair because the twins are going through a 'science experiment' phase) and your family (whose love language is teasing and squabbling) and they'll decide that their daughter actually shouldn't be spending so much time with her girlfriend and family. which would break both of your hearts, because as much as you tease little fucker and smooches--your daughter's girlfriend is basically your family now.

she's over for dinner more nights than not, she spends the night on weekends, and the twins adore her.

so, you're all trying to be on your best behavior at dinner tonight. (trying being the key word, because there are just some familial duties that even the best behavior cannot stop.)

stinkerbutt goes around the table at the restaurant and pulls out each chair for the adults, helping push in smooches' dads in with some help from her twin, kissing you and sevika's cheeks sweetly when she pushes you two up to the table.

shithead very politely stacks all your dishes and glasses together between bread, appetizers, and after dinner-- ensuring the table is easy to clear for the waitresses and there's more room for everyone to spread out.

you and sevika exchange pleasentries with mr. and mr. smooches, asking them about work and drama on the pta at the girls' high school-- and you even get some friendly banter going when it's revealed that sevika and one of smooches' dads' share favorite television shows. they spend about fifteen minutes gushing to each other about the writing while you and smooches' remaining dad roll your eyes fondly-- both happy they're not talking to you about the nerdy shit for a change.

there's not one stain on any of your sort-of matching outfits-- little fucker wanted to look like a unit so she insisted you all wear blue-- and you're under the impression that you've made it through the night with out incident.

you're wrong.

but, surprisingly, it isn't your family that starts it tonight.

"i have to say something." mr. smooches mumbles at the end of the night as you're waiting for dessert to be brought to the table.

"babe--" his husband responds, in that same placating tone you recognize from how often you use it on sevika. "it's been such a nice night."

"pops please don't." smooches groans from her seat beside him.

still, mr. smooches clears his throat and takes a sip of his wine before speaking.

"you all are a lovely family," he begins while his daughter groans and hides her face behind her hands, "and i am so grateful my daughter's found someone who loves her so much-- and someone whose family loves her too..." you all wait in tense silence for him to continue.

"but?" little fucker asks.

"but it is my duty as a father to tell all of you that if my daughter is ever hurt-- physically or emotionally-- i do know lawyers who can make murder charges disappear." he says with a shrug.

you raise an eyebrow at his husband, impressed, and he groans and buries his own face in his hands-- just like his daughter.

beside you, sevika bursts into laughter and smacks his back. "i didn't think you had it in you!" she cackles.

"what do you mean?" smooches asks from between her dads, her mortification lessening at sevika's reaction.

"i've been watchin' your old man try to work up the courage to threaten us all night."

"it wasn't a threat! it was just a fun fact about myself i wanted to share." smooches dad says with a growing smile. sevika cackles.

"well, here's a fun fact about our family-- together i think we've got, what was it babe? twenty three?"

"twenty four." you fill in for sevika. sevika grins and kisses your cheek.

"twenty four cousins in prison, so, y'know. we probably wouldn't be able to get rid of the charges, but we'd definitely know how to handle the bodies." she says with a shrug.

the table bursts into laughter, and mr. smooches reaches across the table to give sevika a solid handshake.

you and his husband sit back and watch with fond amusement as your daughters attempt to sneak away from the table without anybody noticing.

taglist!

@fyeahnix @lavendersgirl @half-of-a-gay @thesevi0lentdelights @sexysapphicshopowner

@shimtarofstupidity @chuucanchuucan @badbye666 @femme-historian @lia-winther

@sevikaspillowprincess @emiliabby @sevikasbeloved @hellorai

@glass-apothecary @macaroni676 @artinvain @k3n-dyll @sevsdollette

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@iamastar @sevikitty @mascdom @nhaaauyen

@mirconreadzztuff22 @veoomvroom

[thegoldencontracts]

Hullo! If you're taking fic requests, may I politely ask for an 'x Azul' one involving Azul getting really invested in market research for something a little pointless? Maybe it's trying twenty different kinds of olive to see which makes the best garnish, maybe it's minor variations on their standard cloth napkins as sorted by softness, who knows? Just something he makes the MC test for him and he's very lucky MC loves him enough to put up with it.

Of course, something has to go wrong eventually. Maybe teaming up with the tweels to end the constant stream of tests? Shenanigans are always welcome~ hehehe.

Thank you for your time!

Of course! Azul my belovedd <3 Anyways, thank you for the request, and a little note to anyone reading that I appreciate any and all requests!

Of Much Importance

Summary: Azul is a man of business, even when that business-matter involves making his dearly beloved test out dishes for him. Except, he's making you test to see how many flakes of chili is optimal? Flakes?

Unless you do something, you're going to be here forever - or until your stomach bursts.

Notes: Fluff, and some humor, a bit of flirting

"Darling," Azul - your lovely, lovely boyfriend you who you were on the verge of murdering if it weren't for the fact that he had superstrength, and the twins were actually surprisingly protective when he was badly hurt, and you loved him too much - said, holding yet another plate of the same guacamole but with one more chili flakes. "Does this one taste better?"

You were at a seat in the currently closed Lounge, which would've meant no one would hear him scream if you punched him, but of course, the twins were sitting at the next table, being subjected to the same thing as you.

It tastes the exact same because this is literally the exact same dish with one more chili flakes. You think anyone'll notice that, Azul? You wanted to say.

Instead, you just tried to appease him. He seemed pretty stressed, and for good reason. Finals were coming up, and that meant a surge of new contracts for him, and a surge of sleepless nights, if the way his concealer had gotten heavier said anything. He was zoning in on every little detail, and you understood why. That didn't make it any less frustrating.

"I'm sure it's fine-"

"No." Azul said, sounding way too intense for someone talking about a singular chili flake. "This is sub-optimal. I must conduct further research. I apologize, but I will temporarily leave."

"Bye," you said, trying not to sound too happy.

Finally, a break for your stomach! Your poor, poor stomach. You still remembered how this all started.

"Darling, would you mind taste-testing a few new recipes for me?"

"Of course not!"

You thought it would be easy. You were so, so wrong. Because those 'few' recipes were actually over a hundred. And those recipes were the exact same guacamole with one more chili flake each time.

You hated guacamole now. The next time you saw an avocado, you'd have an aneurysm.

As you lamented, the twins entered your field of vision. Here to float, you guessed.

"Yeah, yeah, laugh at me," you said, but neither of them were laughing. Jade had his polite smile, but it was strained. His eye was twitching.

Finally, Floyd spoke up.

"I can't take this anymore!" He said. "You gotta find a way to make him stop!"

They were suffering too? You guys were companions in misery?

"Jade?" You asked.

"I'm afraid I must agree," he said. "This is becoming much too trying for me to bear. I fear my stomach may no longer be able to contain this food."

So, you really were cohorts in misery. The question was, now what? What did you do? Azul could come back any moment.

"Do you have a plan then?"

Please let them have a plan, please. You couldn't take this anymore.

Silence. You were beginning to lose hope when Floyd spoke up.

"Flirt with him," he said, sounding way too serious considering what he was suggesting.

That was his best idea? Flirting?

Wait.

Azul was great at being suave, but maybe he couldn't take what he dished out. In fact, he probably couldn't take what he dished out.

"Floyd."

"Yeah?"

"Has anyone told you you're a genius?" You asked.

"All the time," Floyd said, though he didn't seem smug. "Hate it. They keep telling me to apply myself. Usually the thing they're telling me to do's super boring."

Oh, right. Floyd was actually a savant.

"Get back to your seats. We can't look too suspicious," you said, and the twins nodded, scampering back to their seats.

Just in time, because at that moment, Azul walked back into the restaurant, carrying another plate of guacamole with him.

"Is this one better?" He said, but this time, instead of appeasing him, you stood up, leaning in close. It was time for you to use that dating-sim knowledge.

"How do you expect me to focus on the food when I've got the most gorgeous man this world has to offer staring at me?"

Azul flushed, turning away with a huff.

"Regardless of the falsehood of that statement, it is entirely irrelevant to this conversation," he said. That wouldn't do. You weren't going to let him get out of this.

"Now, now," you said, hooking an arm around his shoulder. "Don't deny it, darling."

In an attempt to maintain his composure, Azul looked away. You just hooked a finger under his chin to combat that.

"Don't deny me the privilege of watching you lose your composure like this, Azul," you said, enjoying every second of this.

"I, er-"

You leaned in, puckering your lips. Azul scrunched his eyes shut in anticipation.

But nothing happened. After a while, Azul finally opened his eyes, and you couldn't help but burst into laughter.

"You- you looked hilarious!" You said. "All red n' blushy. I should really do this more often."

Azul scowled, swatting you away.

"Leave at once," he said, though there wasn't any bite to his voice. "I shall go to my room and continue this endeavor in private."

No more guacamole? No more guacamole! Yes! Victory, at last.

"Of course." As you left, you could see Jade and Floyd give you a thumbs up.

Back in your room, but you couldn't help but smile. As irritating as this whole endeavor had been - and as bad as it was for your stomach - you couldn't deny that this new side to Azul was one you enjoyed.

You really would have to do this more often.

[yanverse]

Ellie thank you for the FOOD!!! my brain .... I am already Contemplating the Possibilities....

babysitter!reader is so delicious, and God, I kind of love how complicated the situation could get with Siri involved. Because even if eventually you maybe pick up on a red flag or two from Blake, or even just don't feel ready to have kids / a serious relationship yet and feel uncomfortable once he voices those desires for you..... Are you just gonna stop taking care of Siri? You don't want to get him caught in the crossfire: you know he won't understand why you left, just that you did. And he shouldn't be punished for something that's not at all his fault. God, the ANGST potential.

And maybe over time, Blake starts to wear you down. You do like his company after all, he's handsome and hardworking and charming and he clearly adores you. So yeah, maybe you give in one night because you're inebriated, or horny, or just plain lonely. I assume baby trapping is a given with Blake, at least I hope it is 👀

😫😍🥴Agh grrrrr bark bark bark I'm biting him I'm biting him I'm knawing on him like a chew toy🤤🤤🤤

YESSSSSSS HEHEHE!!!!

babysitter!reader and blake goes hard--you'd feel so bad because blake has such a hard time getting sitters, whether it's expenses or scheduling or trust, or for the fact that most potential babysitters hesitate at the idea of watching a child with special needs. and siri just adores you right off the bat, you're an immediate friend to him instead of a caretaker, so if you ever thought to leave you know you'd be leaving that poor kid with so much sadness and hurt in his heart.

it's not his fault his daddy is so enamoured with you, and that he offers you a drink every time he comes home from work despite the fact that you always politely decline. or that he's constantly offering to give you rides home, drop you off places, even when you're not babysitting. when you come to the diner he works at he gives you your meals for free, and when he comes out to chat at your table while it's slow and people get the impression he's your boyfriend, he doesn't correct them. the one time he came home to find siri had dropped his dinner all over you, and you graciously accepted his offer of a shower, he could barely keep the urge to barge in at bay when he imagined you all sudsy and wet, soaping yourself down with those beautiful hands.

he kind of goes crazy for you. you wiggle into his brain and won't leave, he can't help imagining you with a little baby of your own to give siri someone to play with. after all, even though the last thing he needs for his financial stability is to support another kid, it would only take one time to get with you to lock you down to stay with him. just one torn condom, one drunken fling, and he'd have something you can share forever. how can he give up that opportunity once he thinks of it?

(cw: cheating)

and......now im thinkin....if you have a deadbeat boyfriend.....god help you. blake doesn't consider himself a traditional man by any means, he doesn't want a partner who's totally dumb and submissive to whatever he wants just cause he's a man. he likes it when you resist him a little, actually. but seeing you with some cheap, ugly, unkempt asshole will absolutely have him playing the father figure card when he gets the chance.

"does he treat you well? does he cook? can he clean? what do you mean he doesn't work? how is he gonna take care of you? what, he expects to live off you like a fucking leech?" blake has plenty of opinions and will struggle to keep them to himself. especially if there's an age gap and you're younger than him. he wouldn't have to ban your boyfriend from his home because you're too smart for that, you would never bring a stranger to meet siri in his own sanctuary, which is one of a thousand reasons why he loves you so much--he can trust you. but when your boyfriend picks you up and drops you off blake is hardcore glaring at him from the front lobby where he walked you down to hold open the door. and if you have a fight over text and he refuses to pick you up, telling you you're gonna have to walk, blake drives you with a death grip on the steering wheel as he forces a smile and pretends he's not seething at the audacity of such a pathetic man.

but despite hating your boyfriend with a violent passion, blake listens to you complain and will offer you reassurance, even though the mere mention of his name has him gritting his teeth. and when he has opportunities to turn you against him, he takes them. he'll slowly fuel your grievances until your partner gets heated with you, and tells you that your employer and friend is manipulating you, and the worst part will be that he's right. but you'll be so blinded by blake's words that you'll finally find the courage to break up with that deadbeat you called your love. and what better person to crawl back to for reassurance than blake, who will comfort and cuddle and fuck you until you can't think of that asshole for another second?