#hehe this was a fun one bc i have lived a crazy life! i love two truth one lie i almost always win lmao

[soft-spooks]

sun n moon song :

[blossoms-phan]

tit summary/thoughts/spoilers under the cut!! <3

hiii wanted to make one of these just so I can ramble about everything bc what a crazy night LMAOO gonna make another post about the day so this is just about the show

my soul left my body when the lights went dark omfg, that is literally one of my favourite parts about concerts/live shows. the smoke and lights was a lot but the second they came out it’s like everything cleared up, i loveee how they come out with their backs to us and then the happy silly music when they’re running around saying hi hehehehe

the whole intro/beginning part was so fun i just loved the bits when they were just talking to us, canada love, the history of dnp/why we're all here etc etc. the dolls/diorama is such a fun little phistory recap, though i will say it was not as wild as i was maybe expecting or what they've done on other nights lol. they "wrestled" in the first one, nothing in the manchester apartment, "kissed" (69-ed lol) in the london one and that was it but they were all SO well made (shoutout pj and sophie), i loved phil's hoodie for the 2 apartment era hehe

role model or no-le model: very fun section, i wish i could tell you all the fill in the blanks we did but i can't remember for the life of me lol i shouted yaoi so loud for all of the lawyer dan ones but alas :( but i do remember lawyer dan writes erotica about timbits, then when the side by sides came up on the screens after it had been changed to "Phim Phbits" which made them both genuinely laugh it was so sweetie. we killed regular dan and doctor phil

phanspiracies were: toilet, clothes, tour bus and wedding. honestly very solid picks, it was so surreal seeing those "phan proof" comps of them wearing the same clothes on the screen down to the zoomed in picture of the underwear from the christmas cookies video 😭 the tour bus clip will never not be crazy but it was SO funny bc we cheered so loudly after phil said it was true that they shared the bed and dan was judging us but all i could think about is the stunned silence from phantwerp day one, i will never forget listening to that live and it's probably been so entertaining for them to see the shift from that lmao. the wedding edits were so funny dan was like "i know you had that as your desktop background for 6 years" and someone behind me was like "YES I DID", dan's little kick and cheeky smile at "i'm just opposed to anything traditional" ok sure

i can't remember which section this was during it was something to do with discussing a past era but phil said "maybe I was just horny" and i screamed lmao

the boxing segment ajdjkskjsf i have been waiting for it my entire goddamn life tbh and it was so fun. no one told me about the visuals on the screen ok why do they look so GOOD in them?? i wasn't actually expecting them to knock each other out or anything but it did seem a tinyy bit tamed down from what i've seen before, like they were being very gentle with each other lol but it was cute, the bite was still bite-y and the run around the theatre was craaaazy, the camera following them is so good lol

they yapped for moose. meese. meeses for a minute straight and i forgot it was supposed to be a bit it was so natural they're good at it whether they like it or not

oh yeah that's the other thing. they are fucking INCREDIBLE performers. like, they are so good at what they do and it was one of the highlights of my life getting to experience it irl. the show is incredibly well paced, the script is funny, the audience participation makes it but it's so insane to see how well they work together. the comfort and familiarity after so many years plays a huge part (there was a solid like 7 shoulder touches btw) but their dynamic is soooo good, they play off of each other so well. literally everything @cheekyvank described to me about dan as a performer is true. he was ALWAYS moving, he moves his mouth and bends and grooves and does the absolute most but it's soooo natural, like he has so much fun doing it. that man is a theatre kid all grown up and it's incredibly endearing but he's also a master, like he was MADE to be on a stage, he's so fucking good at balancing between roasting and teasing us and pointing out at people and winking and he called out someone filming without actually saying anything and it was so smooth and lowkey hot but also like jesus i didn't even risk TRYING to take a picture i am sooooooo scared of him. also thanks to you @jonsaremembers i was looking forward to the 4 g's all night, i am their geeky girlie forever and ever 🫶

and phil. oh my sweet precious baby angel. my heart was burstingggg with phil love all night. he is so, so so so good literally everything right with this world tbh. you can tell he has SO much fun on the stage as well, there's moments where his smile softens or he just looks out onto the audience and i want to shower him with love and affection (and we did! i honestly think one of the loudest screams was for "normal phil" during role model hehe). he is so effortlessly funny, the silly little run over to the microphone every time for the "hiatus" was one of my favourite bits of the show. i absolutely loved his getting real with us bit, it reminded me so much of his youtube videos- and i hope he knows how powerful and meaningful that "light entertainment" is for us. his voice was soooo soft and gentle it was like we were his children he was talking to which i guess we kind of are in this context. i love him forever and ever

sister daniel. INCREDIBLE follow up. i knew it was coming and nothing prepared me for Her. another part of the set design/production that is so well done, the visuals and the bass dropping when she comes out is SOOO fucking good. i have never screamed so loudly in my life. i would do anything she asked me to. the underwear were so fucking short i could not see a THINGGG like. fucking hell. lots of pulling the dress down and legs crossed/staying sat the whole time though lol which fair but the confessions and water spraying was fun, it will never not be funny when dan shames people for opening their mouths after they say it's sister daniel's bath water lmfaooo

the SONG!!!!!!!! the most fun. in the entire world. it's so good it's so fun. the lyrics, them going FULL boy band mode, the hands folding over and doob grab was infinitely more devastating irl. dan is so fucking good at the dance i love you forever terminal theatre kid and i think phil has reached the peak of how well he can do it and i want to give him his flowers for trying his damn best every time you keep doing you baby. the part where it kinda slows down and they're just doing the geekiest moves ever like those are my BABIESSS dfjksajdks standing up to rave with dnp in a room full of phannies was the highlight of my entire fucking life.

this was SO much longer than i anticipated and i'm probably still gonna go on about things as i remember it but it was genuinely the most fun and memorable night of my life. i love these two silly little guys so much, it was so surreal seeing them in person after over a decade and i would do anything to experience it again but i'm so, so grateful i got to do it once and i will cherish the memories forever. and this has only made me more insane about them and cemented the fact that i wholeheartedly believe they love us, this new era, and that they're not going away anytime soon so i WILL see you guys back on the internet and hopefully outside of it one day again too <3

(i lied here’s the one picture I took aka far from dan’s prying eyes during the part where they’re not there being gay getting out of their clothes)

[loving-jack-kelly]

uhhhh….I think number 1 is the lie and your hair was actually a color other than blue.

i was locked in a crawlspace as a child by a man who later committed double murder

at age 15, i got lost in the andes mountains completely by myself in the woods (aside from a dog named black)

despite the fact that my family has had an apiary in the backyard my entire life, i'm deathly afraid of bees

my favorite song right now is absolutely Abstract (Psychopomp) by Hozier from unreal unearth

i'll tag @em-underscore @clusterluck and @little-byrdie-told-me

NEW TAG GAME!

if you're tagged, reblog with two truths and a lie, guess what prev's lie is and reblog with your current favourite song!

i'll go first:

I play netball

I failed math once

I have cheated on a test

yes its the fyolai song i know

@mike-queerler @elsbianism @cultofsheep @yakkos-warners @your-friendly-neighbourh00d-fag @red-in-revenge @aroacesigma @the-beard-of-edward-teach @runninguplenorahills @silversoulstardust @lookingforgalaxies <3

[cringefailvox]

what do u think abt the dynamic of the vees? they’re truly a fucked up lil family hehe and i wonder how they work in relation to one another ! also specifically val and vox ! i think it’s interesting how there’s some respect between them considering their different strengths lol ( porn and tech/news)

TY FOR ASKING bc i looove the vees so bad.

vox + valentino: most obvious, they're that messy on/off couple with severe issues that nonetheless do genuinely care about each other at the end of the day. val breaks his phone, vox screams in his face, they giggle and dance together, they have the range. they might rile each other up and throw each other under the bus for petty reasons, but in a life or death situation, they protect each other without hesitation. power vacillates between them like a seesaw. manipulative, toxic beyond belief, unexpectedly wholesome - they're made for each other.

valentino + velvette: i just know these bitches live for the drama. they keep each other updated on the latest gossip, they make fun of vox together, they're that awful best friend duo from high school who look at you like you're a bug under their shoes and then they skip class to go vape in the bathroom. val is very fond of her and she likes the attention, but she also gets easily annoyed with his lack of impulse control and inability to play a long con like her & vox. i think she's also one of the few people in existence that val won't sexualize (both bc she'd kill him and bc he sees her as a real person, not a toy).

velvette + vox: these two are the real power houses of the vees. i think vox was a mentor figure of sorts at the beginning, impressed by her ambition and drive, who gave her the tools to succeed and then stood back and watched as she clawed her way rightfully to the top. he respects her and her take-no-shit attitude. she loves him as much as she sees right through his bullshit, and even though she knows he needs her for his empire to function, she acknowledges that she needs his support too. they're both strong leaders and rule their employees with an iron fist. vel doesn't hesitate to call him for backup and both her and val trust vox to take care of them.

vox + val + vel: most importantly, all of the vees see each other as equals. they're all self-obsessed tyrants who view everyone around them as lessers EXCEPT FOR one another. at any given moment, all of them are thinking "i can't believe i'm the only sane one here." vel rolls her eyes and buries her face in her phone while voxval make out with each other over dinner, vox/vel stop val from doing something crazy and impulsive again, vel/val physically drag vox away from his desk to make him take a break from his work.

you disrespect one of the vees, you disrespect all of them. they're fiercely protective of each other and they still let vox humiliate himself on live television for shits and giggles. they're terrible. they love each other. they're a family in every sense of the word, dysfunction and all. they enable each other's worst tendencies while also keeping each other in check. they are everything they are the moment

[weird-bookworm]

LET'S SPREAD SOME LOVE!!!!!

talk about your favourite mutuals and why you like them

😄

oh god this is gonna be one hell of an answer

@fairyhaos because shes the sweetest comfiest most adorably chaotic lil ball of energy + she gives the best advice like hello??? what are you??? oh god my heart goes a little off track everytime we talk i just love you so much

@wheeboo okay shes part 2 of the they-make-me-feel-the-safest trio along w yena and axe like please i stumbled across the sweetest sassiest boo stan ever ALSO UR GORGEOUS???

@blue-jisungs axeaxeaxeaxeaxe so chaotically lovely and so boomer and so fun and yoid think shes savage but no shes just soft and as harmful as a pinecone (why do u remind me of tht one joon meme of him just. sitting there. peeling potatoes. in tiny.)

@slytherinshua we kinda talked less for a while bc life happened and then caught up (kinda lol) and im so glad to see shes still as crazy and lovable as ever (im waiting for tht ppt) like talk abt impressive. impressive is her whole personality. sometimes in, uh, less than conventional ways...hehe

@eternalgyu HANNIE WHERE TF R U I MISS UUUUUUUU 😭😭😭😭🫶🏻 like yk what i imagine when i think of hannie? causing mischief. LIKE IDEK WHY OKAY i just feel like we'd be running around giggling like idiots js pulling random pranks on people and js the thought makes me smile

@yllouhannie ylli is like love. ylli is gentle and kind and sweet. shes understanding and passionate and really quite cute. oh my love you make me wanna jump off a cliff because how can someone like you exist 😭 (no srsly what is this witchcraft ilysm mwah)

@woozvc nora is like home. which is saying a lot lmao i sound dramatic but like yk when u just talk to someone and it feels just right even tho ur not rly doing much? shes older but she lets go and i can just feel how absolutely beautiful this person is *melts off a cliff*

@welcometomyoasis shu oh shu i have no words so pardon if this is a little small but. ik i say this a lot but i rly do mean it. i love you. so much. yr msgs and reblogs and asks always make a smile and they make me giddy and suddenly nothing is wrong with the world 🥺

@haecien bro is my ultimate gay bestie like what else do you need in life other than cien. what. nothing is the answer. life is complete when u hv cien and his shenanigans lolol like i dare you try to Not like him. i m p o s s i b l e.

@glosskirt AYYYYY MY ARMY SOULMATE we connected over min yoongi. we still rant over min yoongi. we shall die talking about min yoongi. like there is nothing better than having someone to fangirl with over my favs gloss you filled a hole in my life <3

@mesanthropi weiwei!!!! my little bundle of sugar spice and everything nice!! (+ chaos and a passion about the randomest shit ever how do u live why am i not this exciting) how is it always fun to talk to you and why do ur msgs excite me so much

@aaniag chaos. thats it. chaos. this woman brought with her about half a dozen more desi moots for me like how do i hug you how do i appreciate you enough i ugghhhh 😩

@thepoopdokyeomtouched im still waiting for my flirting yk? lol on a serious note, u and ur crazy streak r probably the most entertaining thing on here, and i fucking love it. i love ur chaos and the fact tht u choose to share it w me, thank you 🫶🏻

@arafilez bro rly dropped outta thin air like a fucking ghost and made my life abt a 100x more exciting where were you my entire life ara. where. why didnt the atz rants and the writing and the random asks show up sooner. why.

@nonononranghaee HAFS MY LIL CUTIE PATOOTIE WHY DO I ALWAYS WANNA SQUISH U NOMNOM U CRUSH U KSKSJEHEH u give me so much cuteness aggression oh my god...

@kkooongie sarah sarah sarah sarah sarah i live for ur writing and im always looking forward to our little chats abt books and random stuff (...when r u updating btw 😅)

@maeleelee @mxnsxngie @imagine-a-life-like-this i don't tell you guys enough how much i love and appreciate each one of you. i dont tell u enough how grateful i am whenever i think abt u bc god ik how hard it is to take in a random person in ur circle, to adjust w a kid, to make said kid feel safe and included and loved. so thank you. for all that you do for me and for loving lil ol' me <3

@cadenonlinelive where u at damn i hvnt seen u in ages

@rubywonu @idubiluv GUYS STOP HIBERNATING ITS NOT WINTER ANYMORE I MISS U

[giveafike]

Hi azzie how are you??? When will you post next xxxx

Hii anon!! Sorry guys, I kinda went AWOL for a bit here, I’ve been somewhat swamped 😭 anon are you British? X hehe, just curious bc of the kisses.

I had a dream where I did a get to know me post and then got SWATTED 😭 would we want a get to know Azzie? I don’t think so, but lmk! Send questions if so (don’t SWAT team me 😭)

Writing Updates: trust, I will have Ben Shelton posts and a Jude blurb coming up eventually! If not this week, then next.

I’ve got a (albeit, belated) Halloween party coming up + a lot of work shifts this week + college starts tmr :( but I’ve got a lot of free time if I push out these assignments so..pray for me.

Azzie Updates + ChitChat: First of all I wanna say: tysm for the love on the works this past week!!!!! :,) you’re all so sweet and kind, I always say I love tumblr so much and it’s only bc of people like you guys liking and reblogging and commenting and sending me feedback that makes it such a sweet, fun, great place!

Second off, question! are any of those crazy amazing Ben Shelton TikTok editors with the freaky ass captions on tumblr? Bc I’ve been scrolling through posts all night, literally cackling at those captions and in awe of their editing skills, they need to proofread my writing drafts, they’re the realest mfs here.

I’ve just checked my inbox for the first time in a few days- YOU 🫵 😧 are FREAKYYYY AS FUCK 🫵😧 … HOLYYY SHIT???? Are we all ovulating..? The amount of NSFW requests you people want me to write, and you guys write it so sweetly too it makes me laugh sooo hard “Azzie hey girl! Love you! can you write a blurb about me and Ben and in public and he’s crazy and-” - TOUCH GRASS OH MYYYY GOD! GIRLS! Hahah kidding I’m just as bad……did you guys see that NSFW Ben Shelton tarot reading from @castingspellsanddaisies ? i am actually….feral?.. I can’t stop reading it … my face is WARM thinking about it; wdymm he’s good at it (duh ofc he is)…. Let me test that out…for research and writing purposes, obviously.

Um, anyways.. I underestimated an assignment of mine and I’ve been grinding on that (literally due in 3 hrs…almost done it tho!), I’ve another one due Wednesday + uni starts back tomorrow and I’ve got to go for attendance, so I’m prob pulling an all-nighter tonight 😵‍💫 im SICK of university and im sick of STEM, i deserve to be living the Morgan Riddle life but Ben Shelton edition. Sorry not sorry!

I’ve also been super badly sick, I passed out at work the other day and I’ve got no appetite whatsoever, I had a fever earlier this week - idk what’s going on w me! Autumn-winter always makes me feel like I’m a Victorian child. I feel wayyyy better than how I did a few days ago, but I’ve trying to take it easy and relax a bit, pls forgive me 😓

maybe tmr after I finish all my pending works I’ll write smut in the library…like a freak 💀😭 we’ll see anyways, good chat, back to my assignment I go 😞

[cha1cedony]

Just woke up in the middle of the night and about to try to get back to sleep again but: if Grant Wilson had the chance to live as any kind of bug for idk 24 hours? What kind of bug do you think he’d choose and, if it’s different, which bug do YOU think would suit him best? 🥰

OH MY GOODNESS. This is the best thing anyone’s ever asked me HAHAHA. For context… I love bugs (and Grant ofc) SOOO much

Ahem. Okay. Okay. This is a multi-faceted question. And I plan to be very annoying about it 😁‼️‼️‼️ I’m going to put it under a break bc I actually spent (too much) time rambling and overthinking this lol

WARNING: Very long and nonsensical Grant bug ramble below. Also, there are images of insects and spiders!

The Grant Bug Post

24-hour bug survival (lmao)

As much as I love bugs (using that term very loosely in this post btw), I doubt Grant would WANT to be a bug for a day (because he is no fun!!! 😤👎 /lh). However, let’s say he’s fighting an entomologist acolyte (who used to be one of Henry’s co-docents at the natural history museum or something lol) and is turned into a bug for 24 hours, but he gets to choose the bug beforehand.

In this situation, Grant would go for a tactical bug, but he probably also has limited knowledge of bugs (again, no fun). His pick would need to be resilient and small enough to hide/run quickly. I don’t think he would go for something that can actually do much damage; he’d rather wait out the 24 hour period. Cockroaches infamously can take a few stomps, can hold up to radiation (which mayyy have been important in pre-Code Purple apocalypse Earth?), and can kinda scurry around and hide and survive on trash for a day. They also live for about a year (not that Grant would probably know that), so in case something went awry and he WASN’T immediately turned back after 24 hours, he would live longer than other bugs, giving the other kiddads enough time to hopefully figure something out (although, if Nicky’s problem-solving skills are any evidence, they probably would NOT figure out a way to turn Grant back 😔 lol)

If Grant was in a similar situation, but he NEEDED to defend himself/others (instead of just running and hiding), I can imagine him going for something that both flies and stings, like a bee or wasp: feels sniper-y, satisfies both his violent and self-sacrificial tendencies, etc. Unfortunately, one sting is not gonna get the job done, unless maybe the acolyte is allergic to bees :) Grant is very headstrong and unfortunately would definitely launch himself into battle as fuckin bee if he was in a bad mood. Hopefully, in this situation, the other guys would be there to hold him back from becoming a bee and immediately dying 😭

I was also trying to think of bugs (or bug-adjacent creatures) that shoot projectiles of any kind (because sniper lol), but I can only think of bombardier beetles, which shoot explosive liquid out of their abdomens (very cool, but Grant would not know about them).

PS: Snails can also shoot hormonal projectiles called “love darts” that are used to determine assert sexual dominance and which snail will be male/female for reproduction (since they’re hermaphroditic) but. That’s definitely not applicable here 😭😭 I just wanted to share. They also have bad aim, so Grant could never be a snail 🙄 hehehah

For fun :)

Aside from missions or life/death situations, the only time I think Grant would willingly become a bug for 24 hours (<- CRAZY phrase LMAO) is to make Lincoln happy :) Link’s favorite animals are caterpillars, and I can imagine Grant finding some kind of item/spell to turn himself into a bug and IMMEDIATELY dropping everything to be Link’s pet caterpillar for the day hehe. Some kind of friendly, cute caterpillar who won’t make Lincoln itchy… or turn into a butterfly and fly away �� He would even let Link shake him around in a jar for a little while (he always scolds Link for trying to keep bugs in jars hehe). That way, he gets to encourage Link’s interests in a way that is VERY safe for all parties involved. If Grant had to pick ONE bug for to become, I think he would go with a caterpillar, unless he was in the special situations I described above. (Maybe I should’ve put this paragraph higher up! :p)

Google (more specifically, this website—that’s right; I’m citing my sources in the Grant bug post 😎) says monarchs and anise swallowtails are common in southern California, and they’re both big and cute and not too prickly, so I can imagine those being some of Link’s favorites :) I think his favorite is the monarch specifically (the yellow stripey one below) but Grant likes the swallowtail (the green spotted one)

Kid/teen Grant

As a kid, I think Grant was probably grossed out by bugs and would NOT want to be one (again, boring smh). I was trying to think of a soccer-related bug, but the best I can come up with is a dung beetle 😬 He would NOT want to be a dung beetle. There are unfortunately no gamer bugs (except maybe the Pikachu spider shown below, but Grant would not like spiders, nor would he really care about Pokemon). Bugs should try playing Fortnite, I think

Assigning him a… bugsona? lol

OKAY. On to the more important question… What bug do I think Grant would be? I’m actually shocked I’ve never thought about it before because, in past fandoms I’ve been in, I have a history of making lists of what bug each character would be. Very self-indulgent, I know. Shush. I’m being self-indulgent right now 😤 I think I’ll make a list of potential bugs for each DnDads character… ANYWAY

My immediate reaction to this question was some kind of beetle. Grant actually has always reminded me a LOT of an old anthropomorphic beetle OC I had in high school :) He was a green stag beetle—Lamprima adolphinae—and I think it suits Grant really well!

As a character, Grant generally feels very beetle-ish to me; he is very big and imposing with a tough exterior, both physically and metaphorically. BUT he can also be very lovey, easily embarrassed, bookish, a little geeky, etc. which I associate with these beetles in particular mostly just because of that old OC I mentioned before. And they’re GREEN! Grant is green (in my heart and mind hehe). It’s perfect B)

I know my initial cockroach mention might’ve sounded funny, but I can definitely imagine Grant as a roach o_o !!! Again, they’re wide and sturdy and headstrong, but flighty/skittish at the same time. Very Grant. I also could see him being an assassin bug. The name works for him too haha 🥲🥲

I could also MAYBE imagine him as other similarly sleek bugs, like a bald-faced hornet, but I think beetles or true bugs (assassin bugs, cicadas, etc.) suit him best. I can’t really imagine him being a small bug

Okay. Okay. Phew. I cannot believe I wrote THIS MUCH about bug Grant. If only I could write this much of my fic this fast lmao 😭

MY FINAL VERDICT…. 🥁🥁🥁

I think Grant would choose to be a cockroach 🪳 for survival purposes, but he would easily be a caterpillar 🐛 to make his son happy. If I had to give Grant a.. bugsona?, it would be a stag beetle 🪲 for sure! :)

If you actually read all of this, uhhh thank you???? 🐞 <- here’s a lucky ladybug for you. PLEASE tell me your DnDads bug opinions if you have any I’d love to hear them 🙏 Maybe someday I will draw the main characters as anthro bugs (bc that’s like. the only thing I can draw heheh)

Thanks so much to Isadora for sending this ask omg!!!! :’) I saw it a little bit ago while doing schoolwork, and I was super excited to write this silly post, so it helped motivate me to finish. Feeling a lot better :) Sorry I wrote such a long response haha! PS: I hope you got some sleep!!! >:0

[thisdreamplace]

hi dream. it’s 😵‍💫 anon.

for your previous message; your halloween plans sound like so much fun. I didn’t watch any this month 💀. in my head, I always say “I can’t wait for *insert holiday* so I can watch movies” I never do lol. Michael Myers used to scare me so much as a child but it became one of my favorite franchises. do you like Nightmare on Elm Street? that’s the ONE for me. love Freddy.

just to update, I’m going to dance and trick or treating. 🥳 I also went to a party but it was complete shit. but there’s always next year.

I took in what you said about unstable perception of self. at the moment, I guess I’m feeling a bit of sadness over it. I look back when I had some type of confidence and there was definitely a difference in my appearance vs when my rapid insecurity started. don’t get me wrong, I’ve always been insecure but there was a time I viewed myself higher. it’s insane. it was when I was a freshman in highschool. I enjoyed life more then too. it just feels crazy how much life feels like it went down hill from there. I find myself even reminiscing about people. it kind of hurts a little, you know? I don’t exactly want to go back but I wish I could go back and appreciate who I was & where I was. I’ve never been the same since then. I found myself wishing I looked like that again & had a similar life like that again. the heartbreak is that I can’t feel that anymore and I wonder if life will ever be like that again. the pictures I took a year after my freshman year, I look so different & worse. that was when I became massively insecure. it reflected. it’s just so crazy how that worked.

but here I am sad & constantly in love with a past so much so that I don’t know how to navigate my present. regrets of not choosing a certain school, not keeping in touch with people, not saving my memories. my soul & heart are stuck craving my freshman year. not the age (I kind of miss that too but I was literally just a teenager last year lol) but the confidence, the opportunity, the people, my home, culture surrounding me. everything.

I know I will feel better eventually. I guess I just needed to be honest with myself. I’ll let the feelings pass as they need.

hiii im sorry for the late reply omg <33

ahhh i love that hehe the halloween franchise is so underrated (in my circle of friends anyway djsjs) AAAAND AH YOU GET IT. nightmare on elm street is the ultimate when it comes to old school slashers for me. but no i literally have the nightmare on elm street collectors edition for dvds 🙈🥰 they could never make me hate freddy lmfao

i hope your halloween was SO much fun!! :D i actually ended up going trick or treating as well and it was super cute :3

sometimes going down memory lane like that can be a dangerous slippery slope. we romanticize the past a lot bc its so out of reach, things really DID feel better then and from where we stand now, it seems like it’ll never be that way again. well, you still have some power though. because you dont need to have that again. instead, you can look forward to that and SO much better. dont let that one point in your past be the ultimate of your life, when you still have so much more life left to live!! you dont need to go back, believe the best times yet are still ahead 💌 (easier said than done ofc, but little steps amount up to big leaps)

i hope youre doing well 💓 with much love!!

[intertexts]

HIIII ROS i am sorry i never replied to your reply to my ask from a while ago i am so bad at that ;-; in response to that kinda (bc we were talking about jhariah) i did see them live! 3rd concert ive ever been to in my life & it was life changing... i was front row n there was a baby mosh pit n i was with my best friends it was so good <3 i didn't get to see all the songs off TRUST CEREMONY live but if he tours again i will try to get tix because i must see CONTROL BABY live... my faves are control baby n fire4fun n russian doll <3 but it is my fave album ever created (except maybe Måneskin's Teatro D'Ira vol 1)

Dont wanna yap too much but other music im liking rn: Dua Saleh's ROSETTA ep; Missouri Surf Club's songs Rotten & Kingdom Come; Jean Dawson's entire discography generically but specifically SICK OF IT* and New Age Crisis; Ethel Cain's everything; and then im still consistent w the narcissist cookbook, an unkindness, sons of the illustrious father etc. I have been getting into a crazy amount of music since summer started though so there are sooooo many others but i wanna know what you're listening to! i like your music taste as ive said :3

ANYWAY I think i might just send another ask because this is ramble-y n u dont have to reply to it bc its overwhelming but!! Yeah hehe okay p. 1 - mare

HII HI HI no worries!!!!!!! all good i'm also really terrible at it!!!!!! hehe <33 jhariah concert & mosh pit is SO awesome though.. man.. thats so cool.... love that experience for u!!!! <333

checking out all of these rn they're SOO GOOD.... dua saleh ROSETTA ep literally going on the repeat playlist rn omg. ough. how have i not heard them before. holy fucking shit. missouri surf club goood i love the florence influence.... jean dawson & ethel cain WHOO!!!! hell yeag. god. u also have such good music dude. good shit.!!!!!!!

what have i been listening to!!! shit!!! this is gonna be LONG but u asked for it!!! a lot of morcheeba (big calm), de la soul (the grind date), sneaker pimps (bloodsport), tricky (maxinquaye) <- one of my all time faves, madvillainy, cibo matto (viva! la woman), yaeji (with a hammer), chai (wink)... summer to me is usually very hot & humid & sticky & dreamy to me (busted ac) so this is my laying on the floor staring at the fan vaguely dissociating rotation.

other than hip hop & trip hop-- dragon new warm mountain i believe in you by big thief!!!!!! somehow never listened to this one & i'm ill over it. & july flame (other all time fave) by laura veirs & central reservation by beth orton (<- huge recent discovery ill over her voice) & broken social scene self titled for my acoustic rotation...

heavier set: been getting BIG into creature feature they're literally so fun. i think u might like them tbh. american gothic is my fave so far!! summer is for shitty pop punk 2 me!! esp. when i actually have to Do Stuff & not lay on the floor melting. so. we the kings, fall out boy (cork tree & infinity on high), the cab, the academy is..., yellowcard, motion city soundtrack, alkaline trio :]

ALSO special mention 2 blue sky black death (slow burning lights, late nite cinema, noir) bc their instrumentals make me so insanely nostalgic & have been my writing soundtrack for the past month!!!!

[taegularities]

i am guilty of not remembering muchhh bc of my short term memory 🤓🤠 so i skimmed the previous chapter and was refreshed hehe ANYWAYS wow it really has been a while since the last chapter but while reading blooming and starting palette,,, i felt this sense of familiarity with them and it's hard to describe but it's so good!!! It's like fav dramas/series/books that even when you forgot some details or a lot 😅 u have this instant bond/happiness and u still have these amazing feelings for the characters and the story!!! I'm not sure if ur getting me Rid aha it's the yapper in me but i guess the tldr is that i felt that "WE ARE SOOOO BACK MY BESTIES" like i REALLY felt it lol. And i was really happy to read cmi again ❤️‍🩹

While I do agree with others that this is also my new favorite chapter,,,,, I think that's also not true for me??? bc every chapter is my fav!!! It's really really really literally the whole story since then and everything u write is a favorite 💜

Aside from all the fluff that i loveeee, so much love for this chapter which included their friends and in a trip setting bc it's so wholesome and in relationships esp if ur the type to always go out with friends, it's fun to see everyone getting together 🫶🏼

Nowww some of my fave lines:

His attention is directed towards Jimin, the main organiser of your trip; everybody’s been posing questions today as if he’s studied the town and journey to the tiniest detail. Jimin rubs a palm over his tired eyes, sighing before he speaks. this is so funny bc MOOD

HEAVY AFFECTION!!!!

“People climb mountains, watch the world from above, need to see forests to figure out how good life can be. And that it can be worth living,” he says, his voice velvety soft. “But I feel that way with you every day, you know? I do… I do love you so much.” 🥲🥲🥲

“Huh?” he breathes out, moving to look up at you. His eyebrows still suggest slight pain, but there’s something so loving in his worn voice when he says, “You want kids with m—” I LOVE HIM PLSSSSS

And a lot more but those are what I instantly copy pasted lol. Also the "fight" at the end starting with jimin was so chaotic and funny to me lmao. It was all just so real + with oc and jk sorting it out in the middle of the road lol.

Anywaysss wow i think it took me 2 hours + to read and im not complaining bc i had fun savoring every word. I think i always say this but i (and i know the others too) am really thankful that you're here and continuing to share your ideas and writing with us 🫶🏼 the writing is always topnotch, its crazyyyy, good crazy 😇 and ig in behalf of us who aren't always here and even from the silent readers, thank you!! You'll always have our heart and support. I hope that during times that it gets quiet here (and i hope it wont) you remember that there's a lot of us who adore you 🫂

kAT 🫂 it's okay lmao even i forgot a lot and had to reread 😭 there's just a lot of info in those 370k words. and yeah, i totally get that… time may pass, but once we return to the fictional world we love, it feels like coming home. i was so relieved, too, once i dove into cmi again 🥺 and pls yap away, i vibe so much with yappers 😂

yes, ikr!!! i was so damn excited to write this chapter bc of the new dynamics and deeper friendships. this trip really brought them a lot closer. and babe, your favourite lines plsss 🥹 the mountain one has my heart… i think i wrote it literally months and months and MONTHS ago :') and i see, the kids one is really affecting people 😂 the fight was skfajksdf she was just so tired and it affected her mood and then jimin's just an idiot, too lmao 😂 ty for literally copy pasting lines??? this is always so flattering to a writer 😭

2 hours is still pretty fast, tbh!! it took me days to edit the chapter, so hahaha :') thank you so so much for providing me with this much love and warmth, kat. i appreciate your words to bits, like :( the last paragraph, i'm gonna sob 🥹 i adore you sm, too, ty for always being here, love 🤍

[svnflowermoon]

☕talk about ur best friend! what're they like? what do u love about them? <3

OMG YAY OK i could talk about my best friends for HOURSSSS (i have a few best friends so i'll talk abt all of them <333)

ok so first there's 🐀 (emoji is an inside joke i made her a felted stripper rat for her birthday) i don't think she knows she's my best friend but idk?? genuinely one of my fav people ever she's literally the funniest person on earth and i love her so much, we've known each other for like 6 years now which is insane to me. on all of our school holidays we have sleepovers where we watch the cringiest movies we can find and make cursed cakes (if you want more context send me an ask lmao 😭) and honestly it's so fun. we wore matching fairy costumes last year on halloween (i was blue, she was green) bc of the whole ✨she was a fairy✨ audio it was so funny and we're gonna do a transition from those outfits into our formal dresses at the end of the year in the same colours hehe (which i helped her pick literally two days ago). also been accused of being madly in love with her which is how you know the friendship is real lmaooo

then there's 🐟(she would HATE me for this emoji LMAOOOO) and she's literally one of my favourite people in the world and ive known her for a year????? like there is a massive part of my heart that is molded perfectly for her and we only met last year??? it's insane to me honestly she's irreplaceable idk what I'd do without her i adore her with my whole heart. literally one of my favourite memories from last year is with her from the eras tour movie like it was a core memory that will live in my heart forever we sung and danced together and at that point we'd known each other for like 6 months??? crazy to me that she's so important to me after so little time like it feels like I've known her my whole life and those kinds of connections are so important to me. but anyway she's so funny and the sweetest person ever and she got me a birthday present 2 months ago??? my birthday's in june 😭😭😭 i love her endlesslyyyy and we have plans to run away to italy together to escape maths. it's so funny as well bc we've been friends for just a year and literally everyone associates us together like "oh you're ___'s lucy!!" and im like hell yeah we've known each other forever- and then it's one year

okayyy and then there's 💐 and ugh she's so sweet we've known each other for like 2 years and we bonded over music and she's literally an angel on earth im so lucky to know her. she's the sweetest, kindest person i know i genuinely cannot express how much she means to me. we go thrifting together and gossip a bunch and we have plans to go to concerts together and ugh she's my pinterest spotify soulmate she's sooo sweet you have no idea <333 cannot express how much she means to me

[wackus-bonkus-maximus]

⭐️

fuckinnn go I am ecstatic

send in a ⭐star⭐ to have the author select a section they’ve been dying to talk about!

hi wiggly! ty for the ask ❤️

today i will tell you about my favorite lines from my fic, one does not love breathing! to keep it short i will give you my top five (in no particular order bc i can't decide 😂).

"Adrien had lost a minute of his life. His Rolex ticked away on the bone of his wrist, unaware it was precisely sixty seconds behind the time on his phone." (chapter 4)

i was so proud of this one when i wrote it! it's a fun bit of personification i got to use to show something magical has transpired. something otherworldly and freaky just went down and this rich rolex-wearing guy has been affected by it. how do you react when you lose a minute of your life? hopefully as well as adrien (fun characterization too!)

"Shadows flickered on the adjacent roof—a man’s silhouette in lightning, cutting across her path like a blade, and Ladybug chased both as she tore through wind and water, following the darkest part of the sky up the side of Montparnasse Tower." (chapter 24)

i love this one bc it was a challenge for me to write anything but "it was a dark and stormy night." trying to see in a storm at night is crazy and freaky, and yet lb did it with laser focus. i remember writing this and being like "oh yeah, that imagery is perfect." cn is in the middle of so much darkness, yet he's the darkest thing within it too.

"the darkness collapsed like pyroclast" (chapter 44)

this MIGHT be stolen from my original fiction wip. if you ever come across a book that uses this, you'll know it's me :))

"It had almost taken Adrien from him. It would have taken the air from the world with him, too. It ached in his lungs now, as though knowing how close it had come to escape. And every new breath he took felt like a tear in his seams." (chapter 34)

i really really wanted to title drop in this line but i couldn't find a way to make it work! still, it turned out great, i think. gabriel's love for adrien is the air he breathes, and without his son whose happiness and well-being he arrogantly took for granted, there is no point in living. or breathing.

"He flashed a smile with all the wicked beauty of a sharpened blade." (chapter 19)

hehe this is the first time felix gave kagami a real smile. she liked it because he looked dangerous, like he was going to take her down. and he DID. she thought that was really hot.

from the fanfic writer: director's cut ask game.

[tottymatsuno]

I think about it a lot and how silly and cute it'd be to have a big family with him hehe. It wasn't until I had my baby that I realized it's something I personally wanted!

Like before my baby I was always under the impression I'd have one at the most, two if I went insane but now I can't imagine anything but having a whole school bus with him 🥰

It's really silly because my daughter supports my love for him probably in a very "I'm mirroring mommy singing all my songs with me!" Way. Every time she sees the Ososan art style she yells, "it's Totty!!!!" And she used to call him daddy for a while because she couldn't pronounce the Ds vs Ts.

It just makes me happy bc in my head, if he were real and really in my life I think they'd have a good relationship together 🥺💕💕💕

Idk it's silly like I made some oc kids forever ago, before getting pregnant and I still really love them to this day even tho I haven't gotten as invested in them as I have with other oc kids in the past. It's just fun, and a hold over from when I was 14. It makes me happy even though they're not real, like I still love them like they are if that makes sense? It's comforting.

Anyways I think he'd be a good person to have a family with imo. I believe in my heart of hearts he needs his back and spinal cord snapped in half and rearranged and to undergo ego death in order to get to the point where he's actually breedable but I would do it out of love. 🥰🥰🥰 he's like a glowstick to me

I think he would fr prefer having a large family mostly because I think hes been shown to really like little kids and babies and also in my head he's really lonely. I think he'd go crazy after living in a hectic household his entire life to just being somewhere quiet. He's like when people grow up sleeping with the TV or fan on - he needs chaos like it's his preferred white noise. I just don't think he would be super happy without it.

[yuukei-yikes]

ah! if you're taking questions about the fankids, can i ask about what's going on about the whole reincarnation thing? (how konoha finds out, if anyone else figures it out, even how he finds out about konoha (before he died) and the whole "daze" thing in the first place. poor kid's got a lot to deal with lol)

YIPPEEEEEEEEEE <- this yippe was written before i finished writing the reply. no yippee anymore. under the cut bc i also went crazy long with this and its embarrassing and erm erm erm erm. hehe. so much mental illness i basically wrote a fic under the cut

i've actually answered this before BUT im changing my answer. when i answered that ask konoha and ayame were only like 40 hours old so now it's simmered in my head better...hehehehheheheeh <- my evil laugh because im abt to give konoha 80 mental illnesses.

so i know i linked to the old answer but if u went to read it just forget abt everything i say in there

yknow how i talked abt like overprotective parents haruka&takane in my last ask LOL i actually had a big wall of text that i deleted while answering because it was rly sad and it got super long and i was like erm. maybe another time and THEN I GOT THIS ASK AND IM LIKE BOYYY WHY DID I DELETE THE TEXT but whatever i'll just go crazy now and even more bc i can dedicate the whole space to it HEHEHEHEHHEEH

konoha is nonverbal for years and since ayano works with kids i think she knows sign language teehee and when it became obvious konoha wasn't going to speak as a kid haruka&takane are like. well. let's do that ig. mekakushi dan learning sign language arc 💖 still is nonverbal most of the time i think. if i had thought of it beforehand i would've kept it for present time JUST IMAGINE THE DOODLES I MADE THE FIRST TIME HE'S SIGNING EVERYTHING IVE DECIDED MY NEXT GEN KONOHA IS NONVERBAL. HE DICHO. CASO CERRADO

ok they're overprotective not only bc they're disabled4disabled and terrified that konoha will one day wake up and be diagnosed with u got 6 years to live type of thing but also. konoha autism swag

and when konoha becomes a toddler shit goes down. then he starts hallucinating and having all these night terrors abt stuff like hibihiyo's timeloop and reviving azami over and over while she was living in the real world but also he's a kid so he doesn't really register all this horrifying stuff the same an adult would duh. and he kind of ALWAYS saw it he just can put it into words now ig. so he's not like AUUUUGHHH he's more like.. confused and scared. he's also not super communicative and i dont mean that bc he's nonverbal like even if he is, he still speaks through signs!! but he's still kind of quiet and slow and etc. like he IS konoha yknow?? he's just like playing and hanging out and suddenly just sees azami and he's like erm mom can u tell the lady in the corner to go away :(( and takane's like LOL. GET IN THE FUCKING CAR. he just gets diagnosis or derivations to other doctors and a child therapist etc and its not wrong bc HE IS completely human now and that whole thing IS translating into not only a human mind but like A TINY human mind. basically mental illness. so many mental illnesses.

HE'S STILL A RLY HAPPY KID...BUT THERE'S SO MUCH TO GET THRU... it's not like he's permanently hallucinating or having night terrors every night either he leads a fairly normal life!!! and is a little kid and has fun and plays around and he's so so so sweet and rly happy!!! but. there's also The Horrors.

i dont think the dan would hide their powers. like yeah sure kano can turn into a cat yippeee!! if we lose a toy we go to hibiya he can find anything!! seto can ALWAYS guess what number we're thinking of it's so funny!! LIKE IT'D BE CUTE RATIO + PLAYING + HAVING FUN OK? PEACE AND LOVE ON PLANET EARTH, OK!?!?!?!?

but the thing is that haruka saw everything konoha did like THEY WERE. YEAH. haruka & konoha is a THING so i think konoha can ask something and haruka's increasingly like HOW DO YOU KNOW THAT bc there is no way ANYONE could've told him that like the only person who would know is. WELLLLLL KONOHA? i think the big reveal can happen thru konoha being like hey. do u remember when we talked. in that big white room that never ended. that was rly weird lol like when did that happen. where even were we lol. also u were yelling thats so weird u never yell it was scary. lol!! and haruka's like Hehe(shaking) bc as soon as he realises He Cannot Stop realising

what the dan doesn't say is their story ofc bc it's rly sad and like why would they tell their kids abt that lol but. konoha starts asking Questions... Very Specific Questions.

ok sorry i havent even gotten to the way he finds out he's even awakening eyes LOL i think haruka realises btw. he realises before konoha realises. well konoha DOESNT realise. but he HAS been having this identity crisis and he's like damn i already transed my gender WHAT IS IT THIS TIME and he keeps asking these oddly specific questions that are freaking everybody out because he's not even really asking about their pasts?? he's just like mixing his old memories to his current memories and being like uncle shintaro remember when we fell off that high place together :3 and shintaro's like what the fuck are u talking about. like he doesn't describe it specifically enough or whoever he's talking to just assumes someone else told him abt something that happened back then.

like THATS HIS OTHER SELF so haruka isnt even doubting it, as soon as he realises HE DOESNT UNREALISE HE DOESN'T TRY TO CONVINCE HIMSELF OTHERWISE once he knows HE KNOWS. but konoha still doesn't know he's just kinda watching haruka having like a crisis or something.

from then on erm.... about how to manage it... well it'd be a complicated situation. haruka obviously tells takane and she's like ur fucking crazy lol im gonna go talk to him *leaves* *comes back* ok u were right. how the fuck did we even create this.

basically the dan knows before konoha does and it becomes a rly complicated subject about what to do about it because most of them are like the only way to rly make sure is to talk to konoha and they dont know if they wanna do that because they'd have to come clean about their horrible story and yknow konoha's just a kid!! but also if he IS konoha and everything he is seeing are those awful memories then he should know? for peace of mind? maybe? it's... a whole thing. like konoha isn't.... suffering. like obviously all his mental issues are awful but it's not like they will go away just by having context to some stuff. he's still a happy kid. the dan's like ok somehow haruka and ene created a freak of nature. it happens.

like what if they tell him and then all the memories become super clear. why would they wanna do that. most of the memories are total ass and awful. but also konoha's clearly confused and feels so lost. but maybe that's better than him being properly traumatized by remembering everything??

at the end of the day haruka and takane are the parents and they have to decide lollll man they'd be so torn about it. konoha probably throws a line like i just always feel like im forgetting something. THEY'D BREAK DOWN ON EACH OTHER SO BAD AND KONOHA'S LIKE WHYYYY ARE U GUYS CRYINGGGG!?!?! srry haruka and takane for putting u thru the horrors. i think it's funny to do that. congratulations on the marriage and the kid but also cry about it

erm. idk if or how they'd tell him. this is all i can come up with now. bye tune in for next chapter i fucking guess

[all-seeing-ifer]

top five angel episodes 🔫🤭

oh you think you're being funny? you think you're being funny miles? well jokes on you angel is a good show sometimes and I can prove it! (sidenote I'm only a couple episodes into season 5 in my rewatch so that's why there's no season 5 episodes here)

Birthday - hehe it's that one episode that you watched and really liked, and you were RIGHT. obviously cordy is my favourite part of the show (pour one out season 5 is so sad for me) so I'm biased towards episodes that focus on her, but I also think this one is just genuinely really excellent. an amazing conclusion to the cordy's killer visions plotline that just does it in such a fun and engaging way with the whole "cordy gets to live out her dream life" plot point. also while it's not the most important part of the episode the baby connor era is (mostly) one of the favourite parts of the show and I enjoy that this episode has plenty of that

Are you now or have you ever been - haunted houses (hotels)... flashbacks bleeding into the present.... a mccarthy-era cold war setting... themes of paranoia and the potential for human cruelty.... gunn becoming a part of the angel investigations team... "this is a place of evil" "not anymore"... they actually made this one for me specifically they sat down in the year 2000 and said we need to write this episode specifically so a weird little guy called isabel who won't be born for a couple months will lose their fucking mind over it

The Pylea arc - cheating by combining like 3 episodes into one but I think the Pylea episodes specifically are connected enough for it to be understandable. not the most thematically deep or character focused of the show's episodes but it's just such good campy fun, man!!! getting to see the angel investigations team take part in this delightfully ridiculous high fantasy pastiche is so... it's just so fun!! and charming!!! and cordy gets declared princess of a hell dimension!! and lorne spends like a third of the arc as a literal talking head!! and we meet fred!!!! I love fred wish she didn't end up just getting reduced to love triangle fodder!!! it's just a really great time overall and honestly a much needed breather after how dark and angsty the rest of season 2 got

To Shanshu in LA - the episode that caused me to become Very Autistic about this show. angel investigations are a FAMILY and I LOVE THEM!!!! cordy buys angel art supplies bc she wants him to get a hobby bc she CARES ABOUT HIM. AND SHE TELLS HIM NOT TO FEEL EMBARRASSED ABOUT DRINKING BLOOD IN FRONT OF HIS FAMILY!!! it's fine i'm normal about it. also (surprising I'm sure from the guy behind the 9k pinocchio themed cordy and angel tax benefits marriage fic) I find the whole concept of the shanshu prophecy and angel's desire to become human again incredibly compelling, so this one really got the cogs in my brain turning

Orpheus - the fact that angel and faith friendship means enough to me that I'm willing to include a season 4 episode here really says it all. yes you do have to ignore everything with cordy and connor in this episode in order to enjoy it and I'm aware that that's a bit of a tall order, BUT faith and angel's little trip through the mindscape together is so good that for once I'm willing to let it slide! (though actually it does pain me to say this but the joke where fred asks the others if they think cordy and connor's relationship is a bit messed up and then it cuts to cordy (or fake cordy, rather) telling connor he needs to kill his dad did get a laugh out of me. i didn't want it to, but shoutout to mere smith for writing the one moment in this entire storyline that I kind of liked) BACK TO THE GOOD STUFF obviously faith's interactions with angel/angelus are excellent (like it's crazy how well the angelus stuff in season 4 suddenly starts working as soon as he's played off against faith SORRY I'M VEERING CLOSE TO JUST COMPLAINING ABOUT SEASON 4 AGAIN I PROMISE I REALLY DO LIKE ORPHEUS), faith making the choice to keep living and keep fighting to be better instead of accepting her death, the "I'm dying" "It's a lot easier than redemption, huh?" "I did my time" "Our time is never up, Faith" dialogue (GIRLS WHEN SHOW THESIS STATEMENTS) AUGHGGH. THEY MEAN SO MUCH TO ME. also willow's cameo is very fun and I enjoy watching her flirt with fred :)

[loveisalwayssthere]

Life update absolutely no one asked for:

:read more:

Work is going pretty okay. I like my job a lot and definitely see myself advancing in the future idk

Love life is dead and dull but honestly that’s okay!! Dating isn’t something I’m not about to drive myself crazy over (anymore). I truly mean it when I say I’m focusing on myself, there are things I wanna do.

My psychiatrist recommended I try some hobbies so I thought about getting in to drawing and I gotta say I am having so much fun drawing!! Like one day I just picked up a sketch pad and some pencils and have been drawing everyday ever since. And like I bought a drawing tablet bc I wanna draw digitally too and I’m just AHHHH 🙂 now I’m not any good or anything but I’m having fun anyway hehe. Like learning about shading and color theory all that other stuff is really cool to me too and I haven’t felt this good in a while. I really wanna take art classes bc I would like criticism and tips on how I can be better but I can’t really find anything in my area

Lastly I wanna talk about my mental health. I have been feeling good this past like month and I hope things stay this way. I feel like I finally figured things out and now I can take what tools I used to get better and finally start living if that makes sense. Idk I just feel good all over. If you read this long ass post thanks, much love❤️